#i see an e in the middle of a name and i lose all sense

[atopvisenyashill]

if u ever see me misspell a name no u didn’t but also tell me so i can fix the tag

[fatecantstopme]

Not Yours to Take

Pairing: Dean Winchester x reader

Summary: In which Dean begs Castiel to take away your memories of him to keep you safe.

Warnings: cursing, use of pet names, canon violence.

A/N: Told from Dean's perspective. Shares some similarities to Cass taking Lisa and Ben's memories.

"Absolutely not," I said angrily.

"Dean...come on. I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself on a hunt. You know that," she responded calmly.

"This isn't a normal hunt, (Y/N). I don't want you anywhere near it."

"I don't care. I'm not letting you go alone!"

"I've hunted alone hundreds of times, I'll be fine."

"You just said this isn't a normal hunt. Going alone is a suicide mission. Hell, the whole damn thing could be a trap."

"Exactly!" I yelled. "So why would I put you in danger like that?"

"Our lives are dangerous! We choose to keep fighting every damn day, no matter the cost--why should this be any different?"

"Because I can't lose you!"

She stared at me quietly, sadness etched onto her beautiful face. "Dean..."

"No--don't look at me like that. With Sam...with Sam gone, it's just you and me. You're all I have."

She sighed. "You still have Cass."

I shook my head. "He's never around anymore. Too busy with whatever angel business he's got going on."

"There's no one else to call," she said softly.

I knew she was right--hell, I knew I shouldn't do this alone, but that didn't mean I was going to risk her life. I crossed the short distance between us and gently touched her cheek. "I shouldn't have yelled...but my mind is made up. I need you to stay here."

She looked defeated as her pretty (y/e/c) eyes met mine. I hated seeing that look on her face, but I would rather have her alive and angry at me than dead.

"Fine," she murmured. "Just--for the love of God, be careful."

"Careful is my middle name, darlin'," I joked.

She rolled her eyes. "'Reckless' is more accurate."

I grinned as I placed a soft kiss to her lips. "I'll be back by midnight, okay? I promise."

"Don't make promises you can't keep, Dean Winchester."

"I'm coming back, (Y/N)," I said softly. I turned away from her to grab my jacket and my bag, unable to look at her any longer. She was scared for my life and she had every right to be...

We'd been hearing rumblings in the last several months of a supernatural hit that had been placed on my life. Basically every monster was out to get me--I'd become the hunted. I wished Sam was here every day, but he was one more person I couldn't save. I would be damned if (Y/N) was added to that list.

I started to walk out the motel room door when I heard her inhale a shaky breath. I couldn't look at her--couldn't bare to see the worry in her eyes--so I turned my head back in her direction, but my eyes were trained on the floor. "I love you, baby."

"I love you too, Dean," she whispered.

I walked out the door without looking back, knowing there was no way I would leave if I looked at her.

**********

I made my way to an old abandoned farmhouse just outside of town. We knew there were reports of a demon infestation of some kind. Our intel indicated this was the demons' home base. I had this strange feeling in the pit of my stomach, which intensified the closer I got, but I did my best to ignore it.

I opted to park the Impala about a half mile away to keep the demons from hearing me coming. I walked the rest of the way, staying off the main road.

When the farmhouse finally came into view, I noticed it was completely dark. It didn't look like anyone was home. As I crept closer, I continued to see signs of abandonment and disrepair. There were no indications that anyone--human or not--had been there in a long time.

That feeling in my gut crept back up and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. My hunter's instinct told me something was very wrong and I would be wise to listen to it.

Suddenly, my phone began to buzz in my pocket. I pulled it out and the screen lit up with (Y/N)'s name. A sense of worry came over me and I answered without hesitation. "Hey baby, you okay?"

I heard muffled sounds on the other end of the phone and my heart began to beat faster. "Babe?"

I listened more closely and I heard what could only be described as sounds of a struggle. I felt a wave of panic wash over me and my grip on the phone tightened. "(Y/N) answer me!" I yelled.

I started running back towards the car, not giving a damn if someone saw or heard me. Whatever was happening to (Y/N) was happening back at the motel--so that was where I needed to be.

I wasn't more than 100 meters from the car when I heard a terrifying sound that cut me straight to the bone. It was clearly a woman's cry of pain--and I knew in an instant it was (Y/N)'s voice.

"(Y/N)!" I yelled into the phone as I ripped open the driver's door of the car and slid in. "(Y/N/N), answer me, please!"

The engine roared to life and I took off in the direction of the motel. There was nothing but silence on the other end of the phone and terror had begun wrapping its icy tendrils around my heart. "Baby, please..." I whispered, not expecting a response.

"I'm sorry, (Y/N) can't come to the phone right now. Can I take a message?" an unfamiliar voice said through the phone.

"Who the hell is this and where is (Y/N)?" I asked angrily.

"She's right here, but she's a little--unconscious--at the moment." The voice chuckled. "Who I am is really not important. All you need to know is I'm here to collect on a bounty."

My foot pressed down harder on the gas and I tried to control my breathing. "Look here you son of a bitch. If you hurt her, I swear to God, I will kill you and everything you have ever loved."

The voice chuckled once more. "The famous Dean Winchester bravado. I had a feeling I would like you."

I had already assumed he knew who I was, but with my suspicions confirmed, my fear for (Y/N) only increased. "I'm the one you want, so why don't you leave her out of this."

"You know, I would, but you've been a very hard man to track down. I figured going after the person you love most would just make my job easier. Now, you'll come right to me."

I knew there was no point in arguing. The panic in my voice when I was yelling for (Y/N) had already made it very clear how I feel about her. "If I hand myself over, you'll let her go?"

There were a few beats of silence before the man responded. "I will agree to those terms."

"Good. I'll be there in 20 minutes."

I hung up the phone and continued to speed towards the motel. I had a feeling that whatever this creature was that had (Y/N) wouldn't have any qualms about ignoring the terms of our deal. I couldn't just go in there and hand myself over, but I also couldn't go in guns blazing. Despite all evidence to the contrary, I'm not suicidal.

I exhaled heavily, mind set on what I needed to do. I didn't want to--I didn't even know if he'd respond, but I didn't have any other choice.

"Castiel," I said aloud. "I, uhh--I could really use your help here."

All I could hear was the roar of the car's engine.

"Come on, Cass--I know you're busy, but this is important. I'm not praying to you just for fun."

Still nothing.

"Damnit, Cass! It's (Y/N). I need you, man. Please." I hated begging, but desperate times and all that...

"I'm here Dean."

I jumped slightly as Castiel appeared in the seat beside me. "I know I called you, but it's freaky as hell when you do that."

"Sorry," he said simply. "You said this was important?"

"Some asshole kidnapped (Y/N) and I need your help."

"Why would someone kidnap (Y/N)?"

"Oh, I don't know Cass--maybe it's because I have a goddamn bounty on my ass!" I said sarcastically.

"I see. They're using (Y/N) to get to you."

"Good job. Now we're all caught up," I grumbled. "I don't know what we're dealing with, but my money is on a demon--probably a group of demons."

"I can see why you called me."

I shot him an annoyed glance, but didn't comment on his statement. "I left her at the motel thinking she'd be safer there--I never thought one of these monsters would come after her to get to me."

"It's not your fault, Dean."

I was surprised he said that--because it was definitely completely my fault. If I had just let her come with me, she wouldn't be in this situation. "Then who's fault is it, Cass?"

The angel remained silent. I sighed and focused my attention back on the road. "We're about 15 minutes out."

"Do you have a plan?"

I thought about it for a moment. "Yeah...it's not a great plan, but it's all I got."

**********

"You're right, that's a terrible plan," Cass commented.

"You got a better one?" When he didn't respond, I continued. "Didn't think so."

"We have no idea how many of them there are."

"I'm aware of that, Cass."

"Just making sure."

"Just...poof out of here so they don't see you. This only works if they think I'm alone."

I could tell he didn't like the idea of me walking into a trap by myself, but we really didn't have another option. When I glanced back over to the passenger seat a moment later, he was gone.

I took a deep breath. "God I really hope this works..."

**********

Ten minutes later, I pulled into the parking lot of the motel. I looked around and spotted at least five people milling about outside, all trying to look like they weren't focused on me.

I got out of the car and started walking to the room, heart hammering in my chest. I had salt and holy water in my pockets, and an angel blade tucked into my waistband. I was as prepared as I could possibly be on such short notice.

When I reached the door, I turned the handle and was surprised to find it unlocked. As I stepped inside, my eyes scanned the room as quickly as possible. There were at least four demons in the room and (Y/N) was tied to a chair in the center.

"Dean! So nice of you to join us," one of them said. It was the same voice I had spoken to on the phone.

"I'm here, as promised. So why don't you just let her go."

The demon's eyes flashed black and he gave me a dark smile. "Oh please...you didn't actually think I was going to let her go, did you?"

My jaw tightened and I felt anger bubbling beneath the surface of my skin. While I hadn't assumed he would let her go, I really didn't like hearing it.

"I warned you, you son of a bitch," I ground out. My eyes flicked over to (Y/N)'s unconscious form and I took note of the obvious injuries. God only knew what they'd done to her before I got here.

"Yes, yes, murder, blah, blah, blah," the demon muttered. "Unfortunately, I'd already caused her quite a bit of pain before I made that promise, so there was really no use in keeping it."

My hands clenched into fists and I fought the urge to attack. Four to one were not good odds...nine to one was even worse. I needed Castiel to pick off the demons outside before I picked a fight with these ones.

"So which one are you? Demon #4,235?" I asked.

"I am Ariel," he answered smugly.

I choked out a laugh. "You're the little mermaid?"

The demon growled lowly. "I am significantly more powerful than a mermaid." With a flick of his wrist, I went flying against the wall, unable to move no matter how hard I struggled.

"I really hate Disney," Ariel grumbled. "At least I'll be rewarded for delivering your head on a silver platter."

"That's nice," I grunted. "I hope King Triton is pleased."

Ariel tightened his fist and I suddenly couldn't breathe. This wasn't the first time I'd felt this sensation, but it sucked every damn time.

There was a strangled cry from outside the room and it got the attention of all four demons. Ariel loosened his grip on me and I was able to breathe again. "What was that?" he hissed.

The other three demons shrugged in confusion.

"One of you go check it out."

None of them looked like they wanted to go, but eventually one stepped forward and went outside to check. He left the door open behind him, but he never came back in.

"For the love of Hell," Ariel muttered as he moved towards the open doorway.

"Not Hell," Castiel said from inside the room, angel blade slicing through the skin of the nearest demon.

Ariel's hold on me kept me pinned to the wall, but I felt it weaken as he spun around in surprise. Cass had grabbed ahold of the last demon and sunk his blade into the demon's chest. He glanced up at Ariel and took a menacing step in his direction.

The demon immediately abandoned his meat suit, a massive cloud of black smoke escaping into the night. I fell to my knees as his power left with him, body aching from the intensity.

"(Y/N)," I gasped out as I got to my feet and rushed to her side. "(Y/N/N) can you hear me?"

She didn't respond and I felt a moment of panic as I rushed to cut the binds around her wrists and ankles. She fell into my arms and I picked her up with ease. "I need to get her to a hospital."

"Of course."

"Uh-uh. Don't you leave yet. I know you can't heal her, but I might still need your help."

Castiel looked perplexed, but he nodded and followed me to the car.

**********

I wanted to stay by (Y/N)'s side when we got to the hospital, but the nurses told me to stay back in the waiting room. Castiel took a seat to wait patiently, but I had too much adrenaline to sit down. I paced back and forth for a good half hour, my boots wearing a pattern into the old carpet.

People were giving me odd looks, which I ignored. I was singularly focused on remaining in control of my emotions as we waited for news about (Y/N)'s condition. In the strangers' defenses, I did have a fair amount of blood on my clothes, none of which belonged to me, and I probably looked a little angry--okay, maybe a lot angry.

"Riley," a doctor called from the front desk. It was the name I had given when I brought (Y/N) in.

I practically ran to the doctor, Castiel following behind me. "How is she?" I asked, worry lacing my voice.

"She was quite clearly in a rather violent altercation, but she's going to be alright. She sustained a head injury, as well as several lacerations and bruises, but she's awake and asking for 'Dean'. I assume that's one of you?"

My body visibly relaxed. "I'm Dean."

"Would you like to go see her?"

I nodded and the doctor gestured for me to follow. When Cass tried to come with us, the doctor shook his head. "I'm sorry, but only one person at a time."

I turned to look at him, but Cass waived me on. "Go. She needs you."

I nodded gratefully and followed the doctor to her room. When I walked through the door, I saw the woman I loved lying in the bed, looking smaller and weaker than I'd ever seen her. It was enough to nearly shatter my heart into a thousand pieces.

She looked up at me when I stepped through the door and offered me a soft smile. "Dean," she murmured lowly.

"Hey baby," I said softly. Tears were stinging my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. I didn't want her to know how emotional I was feeling in the moment.

"I'll leave you two to talk," the doctor said before closing the door behind him.

I crossed the room and grabbed her hand, giving it a tight squeeze. "I'm sorry," I whispered.

"For what?"

"For leaving you alone. I didn't think they would come after you..."

She squeezed my hand and a gentle smile graced her pretty face. "It's not your fault, Dean. Besides, I'm fine."

I nodded and bit my lip. "Thanks to Cass," I admitted.

"Thanks to both of you," she insisted.

I offered her a small smile. "I'm glad you're okay."

She tried to pull herself up into a more comfortable sitting position, but a gasp of pain escaped her lips and she slumped back against the pillows.

"Hey, don't try to move too much. Let me help you."

"Thanks," she mumbled.

I started to help her adjust so she'd be more comfortable. "Lean forward for me, baby, let me fix these pillows."

She nodded and leaned forward, giving me access to the crappy hospital pillows that were wedged between her back and the bed. As I moved them, her hospital gown shifted slightly, revealing her right shoulder blade to me. My body stiffened and I inhaled sharply as I took in the mangled skin where her anti-possession tattoo had once been.

I tried to keep my exterior calm as I finished adjusting the pillows and she leaned back against them, wincing at the pain. My face must have betrayed me, because when she looked up at me, a worried expression crossed her face.

"Dean? What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I lied smoothly. "I just don't like seeing you in pain."

She nodded, but didn't look entirely convinced. I had no way of knowing if she was already possessed or not, but there was one surefire way to find out. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the small vial of holy water I had there from earlier in the evening.

Unfortunately, she noticed my movements and her eyes narrowed. "I really wouldn't do that if I were you," she hissed, eyes turning black as night. "You'll hurt your precious (Y/N)."

Anger flared up inside me. "Get the hell out of my girl, you black eyed son of a bitch."

She laughed. "Why would I do that when I'm having so much fun in here? She's in here with me, you know. Wide awake and fighting."

She got out of the bed with shocking speed and sent me flying across the room. Apparently the demon had been faking pain to make me think it was (Y/N).

"You know what the best part of all this is, Dean?" The demon asked as it approached me. "She's going to watch helplessly as I gut you like a pig. I might even make her eat your entrails, just for fun."

I winced as I pulled myself into a sitting position. I was getting really tired of being tossed around like a damn rag doll. "I think you underestimate her," I said with a grunt of discomfort.

"The fight weakened her before I ever possessed her. She's not strong enough to overpower me." The demon leaned forward and grabbed my face in its hands. "You're not much of a threat either without your little angel pal--and you won't do a damn thing to hurt your beloved (Y/N)."

The demon was right about one thing--I wouldn't hurt (Y/N), at least not irreparably. I still had the bottle of holy water in my hand and I made the split section decision to toss it into her face. "Sorry, baby," I muttered as the demon jumped back in pain.

I managed to get to my feet, but the demon flung me against the wall again, holding me still with its power. I managed to gasp out (Y/N)'s name before the demon began to suffocate me.

I stared at the face of the person I loved most in this hellscape of a world and silently pleaded with her to wake up--to fight back. I didn't want to die, but more importantly, I didn't want her to have to live with the guilt.

I was starting to fade, I knew I was going to black out soon and then it would be all over for me. I struggled against the power that held me in place, but it was useless. I saw the demon pull a knife out of a bag of (Y/N)'s clothes. I recognized it instantly as the knife I'd given her as a gift when we first got together. Fitting that it would be the weapon that kills me.

The demon began to approach me and for the first time in a long time, I felt like I was truly about to die. What was worse was the accompanying fear along with it. Would I be going back to Hell? Would (Y/N) be okay without me? Would I get to see my brother again?

Suddenly, the demon's black eyes flickered back to (Y/N)'s normal (y/e/c) ones. Her hand shook and she dropped the knife she was holding, a strained gasp escaping her throat. The demon's power over me faded in an instant, and I sunk to the floor, gasping for breath.

"Dean," she gasped, her face contorted in pain as she struggled to hold the demon at bay. "I can't--I can't hold him off much longer."

"Cass!" I yelled, trying to summon the angel for help.

"Exorcise him or kill me," (Y/N) begged. "I can't let him kill you, but I'm not strong enough to maintain control."

I suddenly wished I'd paid more attention when Sammy tried to teach me Latin...at least the words to the damn exorcism. "I can't remember the words," I said in distress.

"Then you have to kill me," she pleaded.

"I can't. I won't."

"The demon--it won't...won't let me recite the words."

"Son of a bitch," I muttered under my breath. I pulled myself off the floor and took a step towards her. "Hang on for me, baby. Please."

She nodded and I turned my back to her to open the door. I stuck my head out in the hallway and saw Castiel sitting patiently at the other end. Clearly no one had noticed the commotion happening in this room, including the angel. I stepped out into the hallway and waved to him, hoping he would see me.

Cass looked up at me and I waved to him, motioning for him to come here immediately. He stood up and started walking towards me and I gestured for him to come to the room. I ducked back in and closed the door. A second later, Cass appeared inside the room.

"What's going on, Dean?"

"She's possessed."

"That's not possible."

"The demons cut off my anti-possession tattoo," (Y/N) said through gritted teeth. "So, a little help would be nice."

Castiel fixed his gaze on her and his eyes widened slightly. "I can see the demon within you."

"That's disturbing," I muttered. "Get it out of her."

"I can't without killing her."

"What? Use your mojo, dude. That's what you do."

"Haven't you ever noticed my 'mojo' as you call it burns out a person's eyes?"

I thought back to all the times I'd seen Cass kill a demon and realized he was right. "Shit."

"Do you know an exorcism?" (Y/N) managed to ask. "Preferably a fast one."

"I know where I can get one." With those words, Castiel disappeared into thin air.

"Not a great time to disappear, Cass!" I yelled at nothing.

"He'll be back," (Y/N) said. "I think."

"Are you okay? How much longer can you hold him off?"

"He's really strong, so not much longer. Also, he really doesn't like you."

"Most demons don't," I said with a shrug.

"He keeps muttering something about the little mermaid. I don't know why."

My eyes widened slightly. "Well I do. His name is Ariel...and I may have made a little mermaid joke when we met earlier."

She managed a weak laugh. "A demon named Ariel. Awesome."

In any other circumstances, I would have laughed with her, but I was too worried to appreciate the humor.

"I have the exorcism," Castiel said as he reappeared beside me.

"Great!" I grabbed the book from his hand and realized it was my dad's journal. I held the leather tightly as I began to read the words from the page. "Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas omnis incursio infernalis adversarii..."

The more I read, the more intense (Y/N)'s struggle became. She fell to her knees and cried out in pain, but I kept reading. I needed that demon to get the hell out of her body.

"Ergo, Draco maledicte et omnis legio diabolica, adiuramus te! Adinos!" The moment I finished speaking, (Y/N)'s head flew back and black smoke escaped her mouth.

After a few seconds, her body collapsed on the floor and I rushed to her side. "(Y/N)!"

She lifted her head and her eyes met mine. She offered me a weak smile and said, "I'm fine."

I breathed a sigh of relief and helped her off the floor and back into bed. "Cass, go grab an anti-possession necklace from the trunk of my car."

As soon as the words were out of my mouth, Cass was gone.

"I feel like I owe you another apology," I said softly.

"For what?"

"Well...you didn't exactly get my first apology and I also need to apologize for letting you get possessed."

"You didn't let anything happen, Dean. None of this was your fault. Shit like this happens to people in this life...I know what I signed up for."

Cass reappeared with the necklace before I could respond. I took it from him and placed it around her neck, breathing a sigh of relief once it was in place.

"I will wait outside," Cass announced. He disappeared again before either of us could say a word.

"Angels," I muttered under my breath, earning a light laugh from (Y/N).

I turned my attention back to her and I sighed. I hated seeing her like this--I hated seeing her hurt and in pain. It made me want to kill whatever had caused her pain, only this time it was all my fault.

"Dean, I wanna go home," she whispered.

I wished more than anything that we had an actual home to go to, instead of yet another shitty motel. I wished I could give her the life she deserved, but I knew that would never be in the cards for us.

"Alright," I murmured, placing a soft kiss to her forehead. "Lemme talk to the doctor."

**********

We drove for over an hour to a slightly nicer motel in another town. I didn't want her recovering in that rundown place--the same place she'd been attacked and possessed.

(Y/N) was asleep in the backseat when we arrived, having fallen asleep almost immediately after leaving the hospital. Cass and I had ridden in silence the entire time, allowing me to have time to think.

I got us a room while Cass waited with (Y/N) in the car. When I returned, I gently woke her up and helped her into our room.

"I wanna take a shower," she stated. "I feel disgusting."

I knew the feeling, so I agreed to her request even though I was worried about her falling. Besides, I needed some time to talk to Cass alone.

I helped her into the bathroom and started the shower for her. She refused my help any further and shooed me out of the room. "I'm weak, Dean, but I'm not an invalid."

I chuckled and threw my hands up in surrender. "Just yell if you need me."

She waved me off again and I walked out of the bathroom, leaving her to her own devices.

Cass had sat down in a chair near the door and I made my way towards him. I didn't want to have this conversation...I didn't want to ask of this of him, but I didn't see another option.

"Thanks for coming to the rescue today," I began.

"You know I will always help you," he responded.

I nodded. "I actually need your help one more time before you go."

"With what?"

I took a deep breath. "This bounty thing--the price on my head--it's putting the people I love at risk. More risk than I ever imagined." I started pacing back and forth as I spoke, letting the words just flow. "What happened today just solidified it for me, ya know? I'm obviously living at risk every day of my life, but that doesn't mean I should be dragging other people into it. I mean, look at all I've lost so far--you and (Y/N) are all I have left."

I paused, needing a minute to just breathe. "My worst fears almost came true today. (Y/N) was hurt because of me...she could have died because of me. Then she was possessed by a demon who wanted to kill me? Imagine if he'd been successful! She would have had to live with that guilt the rest of her life and it would have killed her. I don't want this for her--any of it. She deserves better and I need you to give it to her."

I sat down on the bed facing Cass with a sigh. My head dropped into my hands and I felt tears pressing against the backs of my eyelids.

"What is it you're asking me to do?"

I stayed silent for a moment, taking those precious seconds to make sure this was the right decision. When I was certain, I looked up at my friend, sadness etched into my face. "I need you to take away her memories. I want her to forget about this life--to forget any of this exists. I want her to forget about demons and angels and all the shit that goes bump in the night. I want her to forget about the death and the pain and the endless battles. I want her to live a happy, normal, safe life--far away from this...far away from me."

Cass stared at me in silence for a moment. Neither one of us were aware our conversation was no longer private--the shower had turned off over a minute ago.

"Do you understand what you're asking? She will know nothing of this life, which means she won't remember you."

The tears finally pushed through my mental block and slid down my face. "I know. I hate the idea of her being out in the world loving someone who isn't me, but I can handle it because she'll be safe. She'll be happy. She needs to forget me...or she'll never be safe."

I heard the bathroom door open and I quickly wiped my eyes, trying to hide the pain I was feeling. I turned towards her, trying to put a smile on my face, but it slipped away the moment I saw her expression.

She was standing there, hair wet and dripping, wrapped in nothing but a bath towel. Her eyes were filled with sadness and a pain so deep it broke my heart.

"Castiel, will you give us a minute, please?" she asked softly, but firmly.

"I'll just be...outside," he muttered as he disappeared.

"(Y/N)--"

"No, Dean. This is my time to talk," she said cutting me off. "Sometimes you make me so incredibly angry--like a violent level of angry I didn't even know I was capable of. You're so...so...arrogant. So certain you're right and every one else is wrong. You make decisions without stopping to think how those decisions affect other people--you make decisions on my behalf without even consulting me. Do you ever stop to think about how I feel?"

"(Y/N), I--it's for your own protection--"

"Damn my protection, Dean! And damn you!" she yelled. "You don't get to decide for me. You don't get to determine my life path! You don't wanna be with me, then that's your prerogative, but don't you dare make that decision for me. I chose this life with eyes wide open. I knew the dangers, I knew the risks, and I chose it anyway. I chose you, Dean Winchester, knowing everything that comes along with that."

I starred at her in stunned silence--I'd never seen her this angry before.

Tears streamed down her face as she continued. "I have loved every moment of our life together--the good and the bad. I wouldn't choose anything else, certainly not a 'normal' life. I love hunting monsters with you. I love saving people with you. I love traveling the country with you. I love living in shitty, dingy motels with you. I love getting into fights, coming home bruised and bleeding, battling our way through everything that comes our way. Do you know why? Because I'm with you--because I love you. So don't you dare take my memories from me, Dean Winchester. They are not yours to take."

I stood up and crossed the room with surprising speed. I wrapped her up in my arms, holding her tightly to my chest. She leaned into me, ignoring the pain her body was in. I kissed her on top of her head and held her for a long time before she finally pulled away from me.

"I just want to protect you," I whispered.

"I know, Dean...but the safest place for me will always be right beside you. There's no place else I'd rather be."

I touched her face and closed my eyes, just feeling her warmth emanate from within. I knew I couldn't live without her--at least not happily...I needed her more than I ever cared to admit. I wanted to protect her--to keep her safe, but maybe she was right. Maybe the safest place for her was in my arms. I would die to protect her--I would kill to protect her. Who else would be willing to do that?

"I love you, (Y/N) (Y/L/N), and I'm sorry."

She smiled up at me. "I love you too, Dean...and I know you are. Just don't try that shit again."

I chuckled lightly and leaned down to kiss her. Part of me hated admitting she was right, but I knew from that moment on, I would never let her go. Never.

[toska-writes]

Clones as random things me and my friends/family have said!

A fic will be out soon I promise!

Fives: “It ends with e, but not the letter the sound.”

Fox: “I’ve been abused a lot” *Nervous laughter* “I’m only partly kidding”

Hardcase: “I dont like the normal pedophiles, I Iike the magic ones. They’re more fun.”

Wolffe: “I’m gonna bark at this kid on the speeder,” *starts barking* “Oh my god that is not a kid.”

Hunter: “I made a mistake”

Wrecker: “There’s steak??”

Rex: *501st doing something stupid* “Im gonna lose all 7 of my marbles if you don’t stop”

Cody: “just because I find a man attractive dosent mean I’m gay” *is definitely gay*

Tech: “Stupid questions get stupid answers.”

Bly: “I cry at least once a year.”

Fox: “I cry every night sooooo….”

Waxer: You’re drinking straight milk?

Boil: *holding two glasses of milk* No the milk just came out as gay

Crosshair: “We probably shouldn’t do that Tech has asthma…….. wait no it’s allergies”

Wolffe: “If I rolled my eyes any harder, I’d go blind.”

Jesse: “I guess his spider senses didn’t kick in” *talking about JFK*

Fives: “No flash photography Echo” *Scolding tone*

Echo: “DiD yOu SeE a FlAsH”

Gregor: *doing finger guns* “Don’t worry this is a squirt gun”

Hardcase: *Shouting in a public place* “My underwear are too big and they’re pulling my pants down!”

Droidbait: “I just wanna play wrestle”

Hevy: *Cracking fingers* “You don’t play wrestle, you wrestle wrestle”

Cody: *talking about Crys* “He’s like the weakest breed of human being, he doesn’t have a middle name and he has scoliosis. Way to double down.”

_____________________________________

Taglist: @arctrooper69 @thereforepizza @padawancat97 @pb-jellybeans @floffytofu @verybadatwriting @solstraalaa @ray-rook @ct-0113

[zelda-cooper]

Ace and Tech Relationship (And how to subvert a dynamic)

Since the repercussions of Duck and Ace's relationship were reasonably good and you seemed interested, I'll continue. This time, there's a good relationship in the series, but I want to work on something different. Any questions, suggestions or anything like that, reblog or comment on the blog. ^^

Here again I'm talking about the relationship between my characters from my Loonatics Unleashed AU, this time it's Tech and Ace. I already have Lexi and Ace ready too, so stay tuned. And taking the dynamics of Bugs Bunny and the Coyote as a basis... We can begin!

For the few who don't know (maybe they really don't know, but let's see...), there were some shorts that the Coyote and Bugs Bunny had together and that, basically... He was just another one who wanted to eat him, literally... The difference here is that the Coyote, in this version (in addition to being given the name Wile E. Coyote) he spoke, and quite a bit. There was also a somewhat drastic change in his characterization, in which he was a genius and boasted of being, in addition to being a genius, a hunter... And this was unbearable for Bugs Bunny to hear, in "Operation Rabbit", in their first "dialogue", Bugs Bunny couldn't say anything and it was so boring that I think he was going to fall asleep in a while. But the fact that he is very arrogant and so convinced of his ability ends up falling into the same problem as Tom (from Tom and Jerry), which is... He is so confident of himself that he ends up underestimating his prey and acting like an idiot.

Bugs Bunny, on the other hand, we already know... Centered and rarely loses his cool, even in dangerous situations, with one or two exceptions. Here with Coyote, it's no different... There are even some shorts where they exchange provocations and jokes with each other, so it's both a battle of strategy and dialogue at times. Now, going to Loonatics Unleashed...

Going back to the original Loonatics Unleashed, Tech and Ace's relationship is well explored, but not exactly very deep. It's the "leader and partner" relationship, in the sense of...Tech respects Ace's authority and Ace respects Tech's genius, with one or two moments when the rabbit doesn't understand what his partner is saying (but I do understand, the only one who understands is Rev... -3-). There is no mention of the rivalry between the species, unlike Rev (in this case, his family) who does have a mention in one episode. It would be interesting to comment on at least something like that... Now, my version... And, in the same vein as Duck and Ace, let's invert the dynamic...

Briefly commenting on Alec Bunny (aka Ace Portal), since I had already talked about him in a previous blog... Ace is a character who is arrogant and very self-centered to hide his insecurities, also being impulsive in many things and picking fights with someone when he can. At least, in my version... Now speaking in more depth... He is a person who does not understand the gravity of their mission and, in tense moments, he always tries to make a joke to lighten the mood, but ends up making everything worse. Besides the fact that all his egotism makes him brag about his achievements and greatly exaggerate some things in the story, which can make him unbearable.

Now, as we speak of Teodoro E. Coyote (or Technous Latrans, also nicknamed "Tech"), he is a much more reserved person and is very centered, going by the reason of things. Also having a good intuition to identify lies, whether from villains or from people close to you. Like Duck, he is observant, but more in the sense of improvising things, like improvising a plan or a weapon in the middle of the fight. And he's also a good aimer... But, he's also not very good at interacting with people, being a "social idiot" at times. Interacting with people like Ace is unbearable for him and he can't go more than three minutes without feeling sleepy from interacting with Ace.

You can already understand... Ace tries to be a "cool hero leader", who is super capable and can achieve everything, while Tech sometimes stays quiet, ignoring him or refuting a lot of things in his stories. It's not bad on the level of Ace and Duck (which they do have, their relationship is AWFUL)... But still, they don't get along very well. The contrast between an arrogant and impulsive personality and a more reserved and focused one ends up creating some problems between them.

Well, folks... That's basically it! Any questions or comments, again... Reblog, comment or do anything similar on the blog. The next relationship I'll talk about is, perhaps, Ace and Lexi. Or maybe Tech and Rev, who knows? That's it... BYE!!! ^^

[turtleations]

Pink Couldy Sky, Final Chapter – Recovery (Summarized)

Chapter 00 - 01 Chapter 02 Chapter 03 Chapter 04 Part 1, Part 2 Chapter 05 Chapter 06 Part 1, Part 2 Chapter 07 Part 1 Part 2

Before REM knew it, that year, too, arrived at Summer.

The weather forecast on TV spoke of high temperatures, but REM didn’t feel the heat at all. The days continued without sound or smell. Everything felt like it was happening on a distant star. REM’s senses were closed off and he didn’t sense or feel anything. With its long rains falling from black clouds, the gray droplets lingering remains of the rainy period, Summer was simply the season following after spring.

-

REM got warm support from too many people to count. His bandmembers, his friends from Yokosuka, Professor Arakawa. According to Arakawa, Takeshi-san was also concerned for REM. In August, REM and Takeshi met in Tokyo for drinks. REM doesn’t really remember what they were talking about, but he has a faint memory that it was very peaceful.

It was like swimming through a daydream. Of this summer, only the faint outline of a memory remains.

There weren’t a lot of things he could do. Only move his body. Play the guitar on autopilot, lose himself in the music. Everything else was beyond his capabilities.

His only outlet was his determination to fulfil, one by one, all his promise to hide that were yet unfulfilled.

Sometimes, something hide used to say some ten-odd years ago when they were practicing with SAVER TIGER all day flashed like lighting through REM’s mind:

“I want to become the best performer in Japan! Therefore, you have to become Japan’s best guitarist!”

On top of it all, REM lost another irreplaceable music friend that year. A vocalist named Otoya died of a heart attack just about one week after hide left for the sky. Otoya had been the vocalist of RANDY, the band that performed at the first live REM went to see after coming to Yokosuka.

The livehouse in question had been ROCK CITY and the second band REM had seen there was SAVER TIGER, led by hide.

On the day of hide’s funeral, REM and his music buddies got together for the first time in a long while to drink in his memory. Otoya had been there, too. They talked to each other for a bit, away from the others. They hadn’t met in 3 or 4 years, and when REM asked Otoya what he had been doing lately, Otoya told him that he had stopped doing music after RANDY disbanded.

In the face of hide’s sudden death, the conversation remained subdued and they did not exchange more than a few words. A few days later, REM learned about Otoya passing away.

REM remembers him as a vocalist with a unique charism different from hide’s, and a rare singing voice that he will forever remember shouting furiously into the microphone.

After a long, humid rainy season, dawn finally came on 11 July 1998.

That night, the new SAVER TIGER had their first live on stage after the revival. It was a concert called “Memories of hide” that they were able to give thanks to Rolly joining them as a guest vocalist, in hide’s beloved livehouse PUMPKIN. To them, it did not feel at all like a memorial live. It felt like a live they did with hide, a live where hide came to watch them.

They couldn’t believe that he was gone.

They had not yet grown familiar with the thought that they would never meet him again.

All of them – REM, Kosuke, Jimmy, and Rolly as well – felt that hide should have been there to watch them, listen to them, and witness the new SAVER TIGER become real.

It was a humid night, the hot wind blowing in from the sea.

Inside the narrow interior of PUMPKIN, people were filling in the dim gloom. No one spoke. Everyone was losing themselves in the atmosphere and the rock music.

REM wanted to scream out his tears across that crowd.

He wanted to howl his remorse.

Otherwise, he felt like hide would not forgive him.

Then, in this place on Dobuita-Street, in the middle of the night, in this atmosphere of sweat, tabaco, and alcohol, he is certain he saw something at the edge of his field of vision.

There, at the very back of seating area, in front of the wall smeared with graffiti, and close of Kiyotou behind the counter grumbling about the fucking heat, was a single man with a hat drawn low over his eyes.

In a perfectly clear pocket of air, a single leaf was slowly falling down.

The wind going through the building in the derelict warehouse district was already chilly.

1. November.

On this day, a music festival in connection with hide opened in Yokohama’s BAYHALL, and REM went to Yamashita pier in order to perform in it with SAVER TIGER.

It was the second live of the revived SAVER TIGER. In December, they were going to perform in Takadanobaba, and from February through Spring 1999 in a bunch of other places.

They also had plans to record their music.

As for the open position of vocalist, since the turn of the year, REM’s close friend Tony from Yokosuka joined them as a new member. Another friend from Yokosuka, Ken, became their manager.

The new SAVER TIGER finally took shape.

And REM felt like a was paying hide back at least a little, feeling a little better for it, like he could breathe deeply again.

The pavement was covered in scattered, dry leaves.

Feeling the dry leaves crumble under the soles of his work boots, REM chased the afterimage of that man he had seen in front of the wall at PUMPKIN that night. He wondered if that had been hide’s apparition.

No, that’s not it.

He is certain that hide has been there that night.

He’d rushed over to see the reunited SAVER TIGER perform on stage that night, in his beloved Yokosuka.

On Dobuita-Street, that he always returned to. Just for a moment, as bare-faced “Matsumoto Hideto”, he had returned to his friends.

“Welcome home, hide.”

That’s what REM murmured while looking up at the contrail cutting straight through the clear sky above.

P.S. To the Beginning og the End

[fountainpenguin]

I came across your story "Flypaper" about the superhero convention (Fun read! Highly recommend!) and I was just wondering if you had any other interaction headcanons that didn't make the final draft?

Oh thank you... and oh, yes. I didn't include him because I knew no one would know who he is, but I love one special, incredibly charming boy... King Off-Putting himself... Bruno :)

He is so very... uncomfortable to be around.

I had one line referencing Bruno and Danny in "Flypaper" but hhh... Dead Boy Duo, my beloved... I want them to be friends so bad, I want them to be sassy partners in the field, I want this with all my soul. They're brothers in spirit... Their moms have the same voice actor... Please, they would be so funny together.

I know there are oodles of fictional spy agencies in media, but I've always been a Bruno the Kid fan at heart. Ever since I first watched Danny Phantom, I've loved the idea of Globe getting in touch with Danny post-"Phantom Planet" and inviting him into the agency... Sometimes Bruno's villains canonically die instead of going to jail and I think Bruno and Danny would be a silly pair. Two "dead" (they got better!) cartoon boys goofing off and takin' names.

Specifically, Chick E. Love would have a flippin' field day burning holes in the Ghost Zone, unleashing wave after wave of ghosts into the world, and I just really want Bruno to do his "If I ever use a spy gadget the way it's intended I will die" schtick while Danny keeps dumping all the Fenton ghost-hunting gear on him...

I want the sassy boys to drive everyone up the wall. Bruno tolerated being bullied for about 5 seconds and then ruined that kid's life slkdjf. Cheerfully told Cy what he wanted to put on his tombstone. He does not mess around. I want Bruno to straight-up kill a man again and Danny to lose his mind.

Bruno is the boy who ran gleefully towards an electric fence with intent to climb it. He literally targeted HIMSELF with a missile in an attempt to win a chess game. I want the crossover joy of Danny throwing himself at everything that might kill Bruno and Bruno just Does Not Sweat It... Stupid.

[More under the cut]

Anyway yeah I have very normal feelings about "Dead Boy Walking" as an episode. Bruno's enemies pinning him down and injecting a terminal disease in his system... Bruno stumbling around until he hallucinates his best friend giving him self-care advice... Bruno quietly sitting down and staring into the void, separating himself from the ongoing conversation, instead of engaging in his usual banter... Boy crosses Australia on borrowed time, his legs give out beneath him at the worst moment, he's still wheezing about how he's going to do everything in his power to save others, just a little kid lying on the cold floor alone while Sydney gloats that he only has minutes left to live... His enemies making out over his unmoving body... I am so normal about this episode.

I just want Bruno and Danny to be friends :) I think they would vibe with each other even though they'd both want to bonk the other on the head. I so very badly want to see the first moment Danny realizes "Oh... Oh, this guy's, like... serious. He will kill people if I take my eyes off him." sldkfj Bruno's so intense and I love him. Danny is so tired and I love him. I want to see the first moment Bruno blearily wakes up to realize Danny just saved him from a ghost's revenge attack in the middle of the night. I love the Dead Boy Duo.

I only threw one line about these two hanging out in "Flypaper," but in my heart they spent the whole convention together because they're co-workers... they are buddies, your honor.

I do not think WordGirl would like Bruno at all because he comes off as a smarmy, know-it-all creep to those who aren't familiar with his sense of humor... Kid Math should not be left alone with him because he's very impressionable and Bruno is a terrible influence slkjdf.

Here's a little deleted scene I had:

I also had a loose draft for a scene of WordGirl and Super Why getting milkshakes with some other hero friends when Kid Math finds them again. WordGirl greets him like "Oh, how's your day going?" and Kid Math is just... very overwhelmed from his experience of interacting with two fast-paced sassy kids while he's still struggling to grasp the concept of superhero banter. Like. Bruno and Danny would destroy him. Blow his mind. There's no coming back from that.

So yeah, Bruno was definitely at the convention... I just didn't show him apart from that one-liner about him hanging out with Danny. "Flypaper" was really fun to write. I don't plan to do a crossover like this again any time soon, but the convention was a cool setting to explore and I'm glad you enjoyed! <3

One of my favorite stupid jokes in "Flypaper" is that Romeo was being a troublemaker in the daytime and WordGirl asked if he was "even allowed to do that" since he's supposed to be a "nighttime villain" in the PJ Masks lore... But tbh I watched a lot of Romeo clip compilations before this story and ?? apparently it's just a thing that Romeo regularly commits crime during the day and the PJ Masks literally hang back and wait until nightfall before they fight him?? That's SO funny to me.

(I also don't understand when the PJ Masks sleep and if anyone has the answer, please drop it in my inbox because I'd love to know but I also don't want to binge the series over this, ha ha)

I also wanted to make a joke about Alphapig being 5 years younger than the rest of the Super Readers because the amount I lost my mind when I saw that on the [unsourced] Super Why wiki was indescribable. POV: One of your friends is a princess, at least one is in college, and you're starting high school.

(I'm dying at the idea of three 10-year-olds running around Storybrook Village and there's a 5-year-old tagging along with them. The mental image of 7-year-old Whyatt taking a 3 or 4-year-old pig under his wing as his new friend... Such a good boy.)

After Tobey launched Romeo off his robot, I had WordGirl catch him, but I'd originally hoped to have Kick Buttowski catch him because I thought writing cool skateboard rescue mission would be fun. It seemed like it would just be shoving in an extra character who didn't need to be there, though, and it risked dragging down the scene with introductions and descriptions, but in my heart, Kick was at the convention too. Extreme.

I think another of my fave dumb jokes was just... WordGirl approaching the superhero panel she's supposed to speak on, she looks out into the crowd, but then she's like "Oh no the entire Paw Patrol are watching me, this is so much pressure."

Nothing to see here, just Baby Dog Squad taking notes... I still think about that randomly throughout the day and giggle. I love this 'fic.

[boysplanetrecaps]

Build Up Episode 6, Part 2: Team Gruff N’Smooth vs Team Sweeties

Welcome back to the only recap series written by me that is about Build Up -- this one! In the previous post, we said goodbye to a beloved trio. In this post, we’ll cover the next round of the 3x3 De4th Match, in which Team Sweeties takes on Team Gruff’n’Smooth, and we’ll lose one of them. (Those are my names for these teams, but they’re good names.) Let’s face the music. 

Dahee calls the next two teams up on stage. 

Left to right: Inhyuk, Haram, Sunyoul

First up is Team Sweeties, which I’m tempted to rename Team Absorbant in view of their terrycloth blazers. In the previous round, Choi Haram and Hwang Inhyuk performed To My Youth and came in 4th place; new recruit Sunyoul performed End of a Day with Donghun, and lost. 

Left to right: Taewoo, Neon, Sanghyun

Their challengers are team Gruff’N’Smooth. In the previous round, Lim Sanghyun and Taewoo performed Downpour (though it wasn’t really shown) and came in 6th place; new recruit Neon performed Hmm Cheat with Seunghun, and lost. 

Sanghyun looks really different from he did the last time we saw him, I think because he parted his bangs in the middle and brushed them to either side. I think it actually looks pretty good.  Neon is wearing a weird short sleeved cardigan over a long sleeved shirt and I don’t know. I just don’t know. 

The guys backstage are all like, these are both good teams. And they’re right.

Sanghyun’s team introduces themselves by saying, “We’re TAEwoo, NE-on, and SANG-hyun. Tae-ne-ssance!”

They explain what that means but it doesn’t make any sense so that’s fine. 

Haram’s team sings their intro, or tries to. It’s uncomfortable. Let’s skip over that. They call themselves “Three Tofu” because they’re not threatening, they’re soft -- hence the white clothes. Ok, I’ll give them that. 

Backstage, Woong is commenting on everything that’s happening, and teammate Lee Minwook is like, You are doing a solo instagram live over here. 

The judges ask Neon what it was like joining an established team, and he said they got along like really old friends. “Like a dog and a cat, we practiced bickering,” he says, and the editors do this.

Ok, I mean, sure. 

Hmm… does this mean that maybe they didn’t get along well? Was Sanghyun too pushy about song selection? Let’s do a flashback…

They’re somewhere chatting, and they all have iced coffees with no milk, and it looks like they also have a tray with bagged snacks on it, like you’d see at an office. 

Taewoo looks much nicer with his hair kind of normal than how he normally looks on stage with his hair kind of spiked, don’t you think? Also: s w e a t e r. 

Neon, who isn’t looking super happy, says that he’d prefer to do a pop/r&b style song, which is his strength, and that he thinks the team could be successful in. Sanghyun pauses for a longish time and says, “But… I’m really bad at pop.” Taewoo says, “What about Korean R&B?” Sanghyun is like, “I’m not good at that either.” 

I am not a big fan of it when someone is like “there’s only one thing I’m good at, and I’m not going to stretch myself to try new things.” Like, at least try???? 

Neon:  “Isn’t there a song you want to try with us three?”

Sanghyun: “A ballad song.”

Neon: “Didn’t you do ballads for the first two rounds?”

Sanghyun: ….

Neon: “A ballad AGAIN?”

We get a flashback of Sanghyun choosing a duet partner primarily based on who would sing a ballad with him, and we hear Sanghyun whispering, “I can only do ballads. I can’t do R&B.” Well, then, maybe you’re not well-suited to be in a vocal group that will do a variety of styles! 

Taewoo is obviously a little irritated -- maybe he didn’t *really* want to do Downpour for the second round. He says now, “If you close it to a certain genre, there’s not much that our team can do. If you go into it with that kind of mindset, the future seems closed off.”

Sanghyun tries to explain that it’s just because the other two are so good at R&B and he’s not confident, but Taewoo is not letting him off that easily. “Don’t you want to challenge yourself and try something new?” he asks. “I want to win like, 100 to 0. Neon and I are good at R&B. Hey, what’s with that facial expression? Mind how you look.” 

I guess Taewoo is older than Sanghyun!

Neon interviews that he’s worried. Me too, Neon. Me too. 

They try out singing Hopeless Romantic, which you might remember from Queendom Puzzle and which has lived on my playlist for months. I know, I know, I said I don’t like ballads but Lee Suhyun from AKMU has my favorite voice on the planet. But Sanghyun is like, no, not that song, because.... reasons??? I don’t understand why Sanghyun couldn’t at least try Hopeless Romantic since it’s basically a ballad…????? But nope.

Then they try Bambi by Baekhyun, which Sanghyun also rejects.

Finally they try a ballad called Forest by Choi Yuree, which was the only song that Sanghyun would agree to do. Look, the song is very pretty, if you like that kind of thing. But it’s just a bit boring. It’d be nice to have on in the background while you chat with a friend over a glass of wine or coffee. But it’s not going to win a death match, in my opinion. 

It’s a strange song, though, if you read the lyrics.

I want to become that forest over there Will you climb up the small hill And look at me? Even if it's just a small corner of my heart…. I want to become that forest over there Even if my clothеs get soaked in tears Oh, did I mеntion it was the sea? Then can I throw away all my tears?

I don’t know, it gives me….

IYKYK

I don’t think Taewoo or Neon is happy about it, but they agree to do Forest. Taewoo explains, essentially, that they needed to work together so they decided to do a ballad.

I just think they should have been like, “Sorry, dude, but majority rules. We’re doing Hopeless Romantic, and if you don’t want to do it, you can quit the show.” 

It's just such a bummer. Sanghyun has decided to drag them to the ground by keeping Neon and Taewoo from doing what they do best. It’s a bummer, because Neon has one of my favorite voices on the show and I feel like this means we’re going to lose him. At the very least, we’re not going to see him do what he does best.  

They’re rehearsing together, practicing important things, like keeping your eyes completely closed while you perform, that kind of thing.

Sanghyun interviews that he thinks the song is great, though he’s not sure what Taewoo and Neon think. I think you are sure, my guy. I think you are sure and you just sort of don’t want to think about it. He says they’re going to do a different version of the song than the original, and he feels confident to have Taewoo and Neon with him, that they can’t lose. Yes, but dude, you clipped their wings. You clipped their wings and then expected them to fly you to safety. 

As the guys take their positions on stage, the judges talk about how all three of the guys are great singers, but that they’re not sure that the team will be harmonious. VCG says that Sanghyun will do well but he’s not sure about the other two. Interesting.

The performance begins. 

Full version without reactions.

My thoughts:

Oof.

Oooof.

This… wasn’t good.

Taewoo’s voice doesn’t match this song at all. This song requires soft, smooth singing, and his voice is rough and extremely textured. His high notes sound… not great. He also is a little… I don’t know, I guess I’ll call it “pitch optional.” I think he can keep exactly to the pitch if he wants to, but I think he sort of lets the exact pitch wander away a little from what it “should be” in the name of…. IDK, jazz?? I don’t totally understand Taewoo, and I’m kind of sad that this song makes it impossible for me to gain insight into him. He would have been so good at Hopeless Romantic, but this song is a complete mismatch. It’s like putting ketchup on ice cream. Makes two good things into one bad thing. It’s hard to listen to. I was never Taewoo’s number one fan, but I hope he puts out a version of Hopeless Romantic on Youtube or something -- I’d check it out for sure. 

I still love Neon’s voice. It’s so gorgeous. Not nasal at all, it's so clean, but soft and textured and pretty, no matter what he’s singing. I wish I could say more about it, but honestly I feel like listening to him sing is all you need. You get it, right? This is pretty? Ok, cool. We’re cool. Also, you look nice today. Yes, you! 

It’s a little difficult for me to evaluate Sanghyun fairly because I’m so irritated at him. He does gruff-soft-ballad voice well. I guess he sounds good? I don’t know, I’m too irritated. Sorry. 

Oh boy, the harmonies don’t work. It’s like olives, vanilla ice cream, and ketchup. I actively don’t want to listen to this performance again. Did they record themselves singing and listen to it back? I’m kind of shocked at how unsuccessful this is. 

In the MNET version, we see Solar and Baekho reacting delightedly at Neon’s beautiful voice right at the beginning. There are some appreciative nods at Taewoo. It’s hard to know what some of the other looks mean. The judges are giving it a shot; Wendy has her eyes closed and is swaying. 

But when the guys get to the harmonies, the judges look more concerned.

“I am a busy lady. I have a solo comeback to prepare for. I have still-healing fractures all up and down my right side. My agency is imploding and my sunbaes are all leaving. I have shit to do and the planet is on fire and my left shoulder is cold and my extensions itch and I HAVE TO LISTEN TO THIS???” -- Wendy, probably. 

“I wish I were hosting Make Handsome: Change! My Man right now.” - Solar, probably

Listening to it for a third time, I get more what they’re going for. Taewoo and Neon going deliberately off the beat and sort of ad-libbing around each other is supposed to give it an R&B feeling. But you can’t add an R&B feeling to this song just by ad libbing a lot. It’s like putting nutritional yeast on celery and calling it popcorn. Are you sick of my food metaphors? It's kind of my only way of explaining what is going on here.

Toward the end, Eunkwang pulls the face that I had to use as the image at the top of the post. 

When they’re done, Jaehwan just… can’t. 

VCG applauds a little, and the others join in, but it’s not enthusiastic.

I think the guys know it didn’t go exactly great, either. 

The judges mutter to each other -- “this was an unfortunate accident” -- “something’s wrong here, right?” -- “this is discord” -- “they had a fight.”

Eunkwang says exactly what I was thinking: “The vocal styles that you three are aiming for are definitely different….. It felt like the three of you were walking separately. To be honest, it felt like the other two joined Sanghyun’s ballad. That’s why you don’t feel like a team -- you feel like three great solo artists collaborating on a stage.”

Backstage, we see Bain’s team discussing how important it is that you do well as a team. Did they just go back there to the green room after their loss? I mean, where else would they go…? I guess I just sort of thought they’d leave. Maybe all the win/loss announcements happened at the very end, after all the performances.

VCG says that the song is “saying that ‘I’ll become the forest over there’ and let our imaginations take over the remaining space. But these guys, they made a forest and told us to come in. There’s too much style involved. All you have to do is just throw it. I’m hearing ‘I’m going to be good’ too much. Actually, listening to the end was difficult for me. I hope that through this performance, you learn that it isn’t always best to show all your emotions.”

Ok, I typed all that up rather than summarize it because I am flummoxed as to its meaning. Let me try to interpret it…?? I think maybe he means, “The original meaning of this song is a bit open-ended; it’s up to the listener to decide what it means when the speaker says she wants to become the forest. But in this performance, the emotions came through too much, and there was so much stylistic intrusion that all the nuance was lost and we were shoved into the sad forest. You could have just sung it simply, just let the song shine through. You weren’t really performing the song -- you were just showing off how sad you could sound when you sang.” Maybe…? I don’t know, team. If you have a better idea of what he meant, let me know. 

Anyway, that didn’t go so well for Team Gruff N Smooth, did it? 

Let’s check in with Team Sweeties.

They come out on stage -- backstage, Inhyuk’s biggest fan Park Jihoo is like “Inhyuk, kaja!!!” -- and they say kind things about the first team, which, I mean, they are Team Sweeties. Eunkwang and Wendy notice that Inhyuk and Sunyoul’s speaking voices sound a little hoarse, and the judges ask about it. Haram reassures the judging panel -- a little too strongly -- that they’re fine. 

Eunkwang, consulting the notes, tells us why they’re so hoarse: they had to rehearse a lot at the last minute because they changed songs only a few days before the performance!

We head into a flashback. 

The guys are hanging out in their winter coats inside, as you do, and they already look like a boy group, don’t they? They want to avoid doing a ballad, and decide to do Piano Man by Mamamoo. It’s jazzy, it’s fun, and it’s appropriate for a group with Haram in it. Seems like a great choice! 

We see some of their rehearsals…

Choreography!

I don't know, I think it sounds great.

But apparently, the “staff” (who we never see or hear from) say that there’s something wrong with the rhythm…? It’s unclear. The song is too difficult, I guess.

So, they have to have a cozy s w e a t e r and iced coffee meeting. Please, guys, invite me to the next one! And also stop drinking cold drinks; it's bad for your throat! Warm drinks only!!

They decide that they have only two choices: try to fix Piano Man, or choose a new song. They have a slightly tense discussion, but it still never feels as tense as things got with the other team. Inhyuk seems to want to change songs, Sunyoul really wants to stay with the same one, and Haram seems to see value in both sides. 

Sunyoul needs to go think in the bathroom, and when he comes back, he says that they can change songs and just work like crazy to figure it out. As if to emphasize what a headache this all is, then the poor guy bumps his noggin on the wall.

I think it’s a good sign, right?

Sunyoul says he agreed to change songs because he trusted his teammates’ perspective. Throughout the discussion, you really do get a feeling like they trust and like each other and are working as a team. 

They decide on a ballad after all, specifically Drawing Our Moments by Taeyeon from January of 2020. It’s a sweet, light love song, so even if it’s a “ballad," at least it's not a bittersweet reckoning of the inevitability of misery, you know? And that's a nice change from the other ballads we’ve heard so far on this show. It also has some power and vim and vigor and a few interesting chord progressions. 

Sample lyrics:

Like everything’s been emptied, In my white heart I tried drawing you What I was met with was more brilliant than the morning The path placed in front of us, even when it looks dark The color that’s like you, when it spreads to me The light I saw in my dream that contained heaven I try drawing you

I’m not adding it to my playlist at the moment but it’s okay by me.  Still, I'm worried...

They’re running their voices raw. It doesn’t seem like a good idea to practice so much.

It's performance day. As the guys prepare to sing, Wendy -- Taeyeon’s labelmate -- says the song is difficult because the first verse and the second verse have totally different vibes. I listened to the original song again after hearing her say that and I don’t totally get what she means, but I guess she knows what she’s talking about. 

The performance begins.

LTR: Inhuyk, Haram, Sunyoul

Full version without reactions.

My thoughts: 

Overall, pretty good, but it could have been better. I could imagine this being a really lovely performance, in fact, if they hadn’t been dumb-dumb-heads who sang their throats hoarse, and then drank a bunch of cold drinks like dumb-dumb-heads. Sigh.  

The arrangement is excellent, I mean truly excellent, with some cool harmonies that weren’t there in the original.  I like all three of their voices (well, I have issues with Inhyuk’s, sometimes, but I could see it working here) and they mostly did a good job. But especially in the beginning, when they were trying to sing softly, you could hear the hoarseness. Sunyoul’s voice can’t quite sustain a few of the longer notes. Haram can’t quite hit some of the low notes at all, and his falsetto sounds unsure and unsupported. Also, toward the end, at about 3:47 in the Youtube version, Inhyuk’s voice falters just that tiny bit. I'm not sure if the judges will pick up on it.

Also, given that this is a song about being happily in love, it’d be nice if they smiled more.

On the positive end, from about 1:33 on, it starts to get much better. Sunyoul uses his chest voice to sing those high notes that Haram needed falsetto to hit, and then they head into that second verse with more power, adding in the harmonies. Really, from there on the song mostly sounds pretty great. 

I especially loved their harmonies in that weird bridge. Good stuff. They sound like a team.

Actually, after hearing this a few times, I’m liking it more and more. I like their version much better than the original -- their harmonies add a lot to the song. I also love the end. Just a really good arrangement. I bet Haram had a lot to do with it.

If this were a real vocal trio and they sang songs I liked, I’d listen to them for sure. As long as they rest their voices, of course!

In the MNET edit, it looks like the judges like their singing at the beginning, even in the parts that I thought sounded a little shaky, so that’s good. We do get a concerned Eunkwang face at Haram’s shaky falsetto, but that’s fair, and then Eunkwang looks very happy with Sunyoul’s high notes. Overall the judges look happy throughout. I mean, I think. It’s hard to tell sometimes. 

Wendy is smiling a little strangely but I think it’s because she recently got lip fillers and they haven’t settled in yet. I hope I don’t sound snarky when I say that. I get it, it’s part of her job to keep up with aesthetic standards, and I'm not mocking her. I just think it throws off her smile a tiny bit for now. Hope they settle down soon.

When the guys are done singing, the judges applaud. Wendy turns to Eunkwang and says, “They must have practiced a lot.” I’m not sure if she means that as a compliment (they did well!) or a criticism (they have hoarse voices!). Eunkwang says something about their “murky” voices, so I guess I know where he landed. 

The guys in the green room think it was beautiful, and I do too.

The judges say…

Eunkwang says he finally gets what Sunyoul can do, like, he *gets* Sunyoul. He admits that yes, Sunyoul’s vocal condition led to some unstable parts but somehow it all worked.

Wendy praises Inhyuk’s emotional intensity. 

Jaehwan says exactly what I thought: that the beginning was unstable overall, but it got better as it went along and the end was the best part.

Eunkwang says that Haram’s rhythm was a little off kilter. It kind of makes sense, since Haram is a concert pianist who is used to performing by himself and setting his own rhythm.

It's time to declare a winner.

The judges say they aren’t sure which team to vote for -- the team with better individual singers (the first team, apparently) or the team with better teamwork (the second team)?

Backstage, it does seem that more of the guys think that Sunyouls’ team will win… and they’re right.

Only one judge votes for Neon’s team and the rest vote for Sunyoul’s. Want to guess who the one dissenting vote is?

Come on, guess.

Blue is Sunyoul’s team. Naturally, it’s Jaehwan going against the crowd.

I love the look on Sunyoul’s face here. I’m glad that we get to keep Team Sweeties; they’re sweeties and they did a good job, even if their voices were slightly hoarse. Sunyoul promises to keep trying their best, and Haram sweetly tells the other team that they also did a good job and that he loves them. 

I feel awful for the other team.

But Neon says they worked hard and have no regrets. “Thanks for the great experience,” he says, and Sanghun agrees. 

The judges lament that we lost such great singers.

And that brings us to the end of this round!  

I am really sorry to see Neon go.

But… you guys, I found a really mysterious song: Make a Wish by Neon. It’s definitely him. It has 78 views at the moment, and it’s on a page that doesn’t have any content. I know, that doesn’t make sense. How can it have no content and also have a video? I DON’T KNOW. Anyway, the song is really cool and I like it a lot. It’s kind of trip hoppy feeling, like ambient but with a bit of R&B feeling to it. So check it out if that sounds like something you’d like.

I found it by finding this: Neon’s page on a wiki somewhere. It’s in Korean but if you use Chrome it’ll translate it for you. 

Ok anyway! That is the end of this post. Thanks for sticking with me. I’m off and don’t have to travel this week so hopefully I’ll catch up a bit. I mean, it’d be nice to be fully done with episode 6 before Episode 8 comes out, at least.

Alright, I’ll see you in the next one! 

[takarahase99]

Unexpected Return pt. 2

I gazed up at the ceiling above me as I replayed the events from last week through my mind. A soft knock on my door pulled me from my thoughts. I turned to the now opened door to see Steve standing in the doorframe. 

“How are you feeling?”

“Mentally or Physically?”

“Both?”

“I’ll start with physically. The amount of pain I am in is indescribable. It feels like I’m continuously being stabbed again.”

“And mentally?”

I turned my gaze back to the ceiling with a sigh. Mentally, I was a mess. A broken mess. 

“Mentally… I’m not okay. I keep replaying what happened last week. It’s a broken record in my mind. Losing him destroyed me and now? I’ve no idea what to do. They’ve brainwashed him, Steve. 

“I know, but we cannot give up on finding him.”

“How do you suppose we do that? Stark has practically forbidden any of us from searching him out!”

“Tony has his reasons. All we need to do is trust his process. Besides, you’re in no condition to be out and about anyways.”

“Not even for some coffee and fresh air?”

“Now that’s over exaggerating. Get dressed and meet me out front.”

Before I could say anything else, he was gone. I wasn’t intending to go now. Seems like I’ve no choice now. 

~Time Skip~

The cafe that Steve brought me to was nice. The atmosphere was exactly what I needed at the moment. However, there was this unsettling feeling sitting in the pit of my chest. Something wasn’t right. 

“Something doesn’t feel right, Steve.”

“I sense it too.”

With his response, I activated my power and did a quick mental sweep of the area. I let out a gasp upon my results. 

“Steve. It’s not safe here.”

“What did you find out?”

“I think it’s Bucky. I’m not entirely too sure, but it’s the same mindset from last week’s fight.”

“And you’re positive?”

“I can’t say for sure. There’s something off about it. It’s not entirely the same mindset.”

“Almost like something, or rather someone, altered it?”

“Do you think?”

“Your powers are very strong.”

The idea of my powers actually affecting Bucky caused my heart to race. Using my power again, I locked onto the targeted mind. Maybe I can get him to communicate with me. 

‘James? Is this you?’

No response. Just silence. 

‘Who are you and how do you know my name?’

Yes! A response. It’s him. With my heart racing I looked around in an attempt to physically locate him.

‘You’re not going to find me. Now answer my question. Who. Are. You?’

‘y/n l/n.’

‘Impossible. She died a long time ago.’

So that’s the story they told him. How am I going to explain to him why I am still alive? 

‘Sorry to break the news to you, but whoever told you that story lied. I am y/n l/n and I am very much alive.’

His aura changed. The emotion he was feeling was the same glimpse I got from him last week before passing out. He was more than confused. 

‘Your mindset is right though. I shouldn’t be alive. I should’ve died of old age and natural causes just a few years back. Unfortunately, the cards were not on my side for the life that I wanted. I was abducted by hydra, who used me for their experimental gains. They altered my DNA causing my, from what I’ve assumed, eternal life. The powers I have come from them. I suffered years of torture before being deemed an unfit, or in other terms failed trail. Fortunately enough, my life was spare and I was dumped in the middle of no where.’

‘How do you expect me to believe that?’

‘Fair enough. Okay then. Explain to me how you’re still alive.’

Nothing but silence. I attempted to search for him again. This time I was able to spot him.

‘You want to know the only difference between the two of us? You had the luxury of having your mind wiped of all of our memories. Myself. Well I had to suffer a hundred years without you. I remember everything about you almost as if I met you yesterday.’

I watched his movements as he looked up. Steel eyes meeting my e/c ones. 

‘I’d give anything to have you by my side again.’

‘We could never go back to the way we were.’

‘No we can’t. But that’s why the future is called the future. I’ll give you the time to ponder. But it won’t be long before Tony Stark and law enforcement finds you.’

‘And when they do? What happens then?’

‘Well lets hope they all bring the right mindset to the battlefield. Because one thing that never changed about me. Is how much I’m willing to sacrifice for you.’

‘Why though?’

‘Because I fell in love with a man named Bucky Barnes. And I never stopped loving him.’

[demonhanabi]

The Porn-Logic Assistance Reasoning - One Shot

Originally posted to AO3 - May 2024

“Hello? Is this Ms Teller?” Penny was almost at the end of her shift when she received the call.

Sheldon was in the hospital. For some reason she was set as his emergency contact, which was sweet in a way. That he trusted her so much. Especially after her messy break up with Leonard, out of the entire group Sheldon had been the only one to stay in touch and make time to meet with her, she had been counting on Raj to pull through as well but Howard was very clearly ‘Camp Leonard’ and wherever Howard went, Raj followed.

Penny glanced at the clock and bit her lip. She only had one hour left of her shift, but it was a Friday…sighing she moved to talk to Terry, her manager. Thankfully he understood and let her go without too much of a fuss, which she was thankful for, but still, a Friday afternoon shift cut short meant losing out on some tips.

She was going to make Sheldon buy her dinner.

Knowing that Sheldon’s life was not in danger, she decided to go to Los Robles first. Both to take a shower and to pick up a change of clothes for Sheldon. He despised hospitals already, so it would go a long way to calm his mind knowing he had clean clothes and that she was clean as well.

A really quick shower later she picked up a comfy outfit, went to 4A to pick one of Sheldon’s prepackaged clothes bags and in record time, less than 20 minutes, she was on her way to the hospital.

On the drive Penny had to wonder what could have led Dr Wackadoodle to land himself in a Hospital bed, all the nurse would say is that he was fine but he needed a family member there with him. ‘Guess that means me.’ She did smile a little at that thought.

She also spent the drive debating whether to call Leonard or not, he hadn’t been at 4A and things were still a little weird between them. She did hear that he had rekindled his relationship with Leslie Winkle and she didn’t want to interrupt him in the middle of a date.

And also a part of her knew that he would misunderstand her call as some sort of attempt to get back with him. For being such a snivel little piece of- No. That wasn’t totally fair. He did have a bit of an ego problem but overall was a nice guy. Still, she wasn’t going to call him.

By the time she made her decision the hospital came into view. Thankfully she’s able to find a parking spot easily near the main entrance. This is the same hospital that Sheldon drove her to when she had her shower accident, so maybe life did have a sense of humor.

Seeing a couple of well dressed people enter the hospital in front of her made her think that maybe she shouldn’t have been so casual about choosing her outfit. She was starting to feel a little self conscious in her ‘Juicy’ sweatpants and large hoodie but moving to the waiting room and seeing everyone else looking pretty much the same or worse made her shrug off the last of those feelings.

The reception desk is easy to find.

“Hi, I’m here for Sheldon Cooper. I got a call earlier.” Penny said to the frazzled looking nurse manning the desk.

“Are you his girlfriend?” The nurse was not amused as she stared straight at Penny and wasted no time with greetings.

Penny took only a moment to think, if she said no then they will most likely ask her to leave because she’s not a family member which would mean that Sheldon will have to stay here until someone can come get him out.

“Yes. I’m his girlfriend.” The lie comes out easily, no one will know. No harm, no foul.

“Thank god!” The relief in the nurse’s voice staggers Penny. Seems that she’s already encountered the wall named Sheldon Cooper personally. “Follow me.” The nurse motioned to another nurse that she should take over the reception and Penny had to move quickly to keep up with the almost sprinting nurse.

“Mr-I mean, Dr Cooper suffered an accident at work.” The nurse didn’t even look back to make sure Penny was following her. “He claims that another colleague of his was performing an experiment with liquid nitrogen.”

“Oh my god!” Holy shit, that didn’t sound like nothing. Wasn’t that stuff deadly if not managed correctly?

“Don’t worry, he’s fine, it’s just some frostnip on his fingers. He could have treated this at home, but insisted on being treated here. He was also becoming disruptive, as such we moved him to his own room to prevent any incidents.” Penny doesn’t miss the ‘I’m done with this’ tone in her voice.

Also, she’s not stupid, moving him to his own room means that Sheldon was freaking out and that was causing other patients to freak out. ‘Great and I’m the one that has the joy to deal with this.’

“We gave him something to settle his nerves, but because of that he can’t leave on his own.” The nurse truly sounded relieved.

“Don’t worry, I’ll get him out of your hair in no time.” Penny reassured her.

“That’s not all, I’m afraid. But let’s wait until we’re with Dr Cooper.” There’s something in her voice but Penny didn’t question the nurse any further and simply followed her.

It doesn’t take long for them to reach an open door. The room is rather small and there’s only one bed in it, her favorite Wackadoodle laid on top of it and turned as soon as he heard them.

“Penny!” Sheldon brightened in relief when he caught sight of her. He was being more expressive than usual but that’s most likely due to whatever they gave him to calm him down.

“Hey Sheldon.” She smiled at him but her smile faltered a little at seeing his bandaged hands. Before she could ask anything the nurse reassured her again that he was fine.

“I got you a change of clothes Moonpie.” She showed him the bag.

“Thank you Penny. We can finally leave this infernal place.” Sheldon was already moving to stand up but the nurse stopped him.

“Not so fast Dr Cooper, you remember what the doctor asked, don’t you?”

“I have an eidet-” The nurse interrupted him by turning to Penny and speaking loudly.

“Here you go. Once you’re done you can call a nurse and we’ll sign him out.” Penny accepted a sealed plastic bag from the nurse almost by instinct. Looking down at her hand she saw a plastic cup, like the ones you have to pee in.

“Wait, wait, wait, wait!” Penny chased after the fleeing nurse “What’s this, what do you mean? I have to help him pee?” She was freaking out a little because this just took a turn she wasn’t ready for.

“What? No.” The nurse deadpanned and Penny almost sighed in relief but froze at the nurse’s next words. “The Doctor requested a sperm sample.”

Penny must have misheard her. There’s no way she just said that, but before she could question the nurse again she was already gone, leaving Penny standing alone in the empty hospital hallway.

Returning to Sheldon, she could see him blushing fiercely and he had his eyes closed. ‘Oh right, freaky hearing.’

“So…uh, how are you Sheldon?” Penny decided the best way to approach this was to ignore it completely.

“I knew that wack of a doctor didn’t know what he was doing!” Sheldon said through gritted teeth.

“Wait, you told the doctor how to do his job?” A pinprick of suspicion started to form in her mind.

“Penny. The man was a Neanderthal that suggested I use Aloe Vera and ibuprofen to treat what’s clearly a severe case of frostbite.” Sheldon fumed and Penny knew her suspicion was true. Sheldon made the doctor so upset that he requested a sperm sample, when the patient couldn’t use his hands.

Penny facepalmed and sighed deeply. “Honey. You can’t go around offending people like that.”

“You don’t understand Penny, my-” Penny interrupted him.

“I understand. I understand that the doctor asked you to provide a sperm sample when you can’t use your hands. Do you see how this has ‘Fuck you’ written all over it?”

“Penny! There’s no need to curse, besides, I don’t see how that Neand-...oh!” He at least had the decency to look ashamed once he got it.

“And there it is. You called him that to his face didn’t you?” Penny asked despite already knowing the answer.

“I…might have.” Sheldon closed his eyes as he blushed in shame.

“And that’s the reason for this.” She shook the plastic bag containing the cup.

“Could you please ask the nurse if we can go?” He begged her.

“Sure Honey, I’ll tell them you’ll apologize to the doctor.” Sheldon looked ready to protest but Penny raised an eyebrow and he grumbled an agreement.

Ten minutes later Penny is back in the room. The nurses were adamant, Sheldon couldn’t leave unless they got their sample, and the doctor would not be back until tomorrow night, so it was either the sample or waiting for the doctor. She was sure that the nurses were grinning.

“Sorry Honey, no luck.” Sheldon groaned in disappointment once she explained that it’s either the sample or waiting for the doctor. No other way around it.

“This can’t be happening.” Penny had to agree with him on that, it was so bizarre.

“Can’t you? I don’t know, hump the mattress or something?” She cringed a little as she said it.

Sheldon glared at her. “You want me to…hump?” He looked offended that she even dared to ask him that.

“Okay, okay, okay.” She raised her hands in defeat. “Do you have any better ideas?” Penny sat on the edge of the bed.

“Maybe, I could use my hand.” He lifted his right hand. “Could you help me remove the bandages?” A pause. “Please?”

He looked so pathetic that Penny couldn’t do anything else but help him, the bandages are not tightly wrapped so it was an easy thing to remove them. She gasped at seeing his fingers, the skin looked slightly bruised and swollen, she had thought that Sheldon had been exaggerating but it did look painful. Sheldon flexed his fingers cautiously and Penny didn't miss the grimace of pain that crossed his face.

“No. Just no. Sheldon, you’ll hurt your hand.” She pleaded.

“It’ll have to do Penny. I can’t stand to stay another moment more in this dreadful place.” He looked miserable but determined.

Penny bit her lip, looked up at the ceiling. ‘Ah fuck it.’ She was single, he was single. And this is just to help him get out of this place. She got up and closed the door, sadly it didn’t have an actual lock, but the flimsy hook will have to do.

“Listen Moonpie, not a word of this to anyone. Capisce?” She threatened him and he only looked confused.

“Of wha-AAHH! Penny!” Sheldon screamed because she unbuckled his belt and then moved towards his pants. His hands tried to stop her but he didn't actually touch her, whether because of the pain or the germs, she’d never know. “Penny, what are you doing?”

Penny had to stop because she was wondering the exact same thing herself.

“Look. This is the only way you’re getting out of this place. I’ll help you out or I can call Leonard and have him do it?” Of course her sarcastic tone is lost on him.

“Leonard, Leslie, Koothrappali and Wolowitz are camping out in the desert again. Leslie promised them ‘the good mushrooms’.” Sheldon’s voice was high and he explained this whole thing in a single breath.

“So you’re stuck with me. Actually, you’re not, I can easily just return tomorrow night when the doctor is in and leave you here.” She wouldn’t, not really.

Despite the pain it caused him, Sheldon took a hold of her arm. “Please don’t leave me.” It broke her heart to hear him so lost.

“I won’t.” She tried to reassure him by putting her hand on top of his. “Now, can we get a move on this?” She gestured to his crotch.

“Can you sanitize first? Please.” He gestured to the bottle of sanitizing gel on the bedside table. Penny didn’t want to drag this any longer so she just did it, dropping the bag with the cup next to his leg, she grabbed the bottle and squirted a big dollop and rubbed her hands until it was gone.

“I also took a shower and brushed my teeth before coming here.” She said sarcastically but Sheldon actually looked relieved. ‘Wackadoodle.’

Suddenly feeling nervous again, Penny went to sit back at the bed. Sheldon’s pants were open and she could see his underwear, as well as the bulge sitting there. She tried to grab him but the sleeves of her oversized hoodie kept getting in the way, she tried to pull them but it was no use, they fell back down each time.

Sighing in frustration she took off her hoodie and dropped it on the only chair. The room was quiet, the only noise was the hum of the crappy AC, because of that she was able to hear Sheldon’s sudden intake of breath. When she turned to look at him, he was looking at her intently.

Or to be more precise, he was looking at her chest.

Penny wasn’t expecting to remove her hoodie anywhere that wasn’t her apartment, so she didn’t put much thought about what she was wearing underneath. She had chosen a pretty comfy but ratty white undershirt, one that she had for years and that by this point was pretty much see-through.

Not helping matters was the fact that the room was cold like all hospital rooms tend to be, her body reacted to the change in temperature and Sheldon was trying his hardest to make eye contact with her nipples, of course her nipples seemed to preen at the attention and now Penny could feel her own blush creep up to her face.

Just as she’s about to say ‘My eyes are up here.’ She could see that she was having an effect on Sheldon. His underwear strained and she could see Sheldon Jr pop out the top.

Her mouth is suddenly dry. ‘You can do this Penny.’

The last time she had been this nervous around a dick, was when she was sixteen and in the back of Matt O’Brian’s pick up truck, she didn’t know what to do with her hands and ended up giving him a friction burn.

‘Holy crap, this is Sheldon.’ Her mind reminded her helpfully.

“Penny, perhaps we should give your idea of ‘humping’ a fair chance.” It looked like Sheldon finally stopped looking at her chest and instead turned his eyes towards the ceiling, she could see a flush all the way down to his neck.

Penny physically shook herself and took a deep breath. “Too late Moonpie, we’re doing this.” She was no coward, Penny once finished a Junior Rodeo competition with a fractured wrist, she could do this.

With a shaky hand she pulled down his underwear.

Sheldon gasped as his dick bounced for a moment before settling back down against his groin. Penny had no idea of what Sheldon would be packing, but damn, he was fine. Of course because he was Sheldon it meant that his dick is properly cared for and clean, she would go as far as to call his dick ‘cute’.

Of course it was less cute because it looked as if it was trying to escape and attack her. Sheldon hadn’t realized that he was moving his hips, probably trying to rub himself against anything or anyone at that moment.

It’s the itch between her legs that finally broke her out of the staring contest with Sheldon’s dick. Pressing her legs together confirmed that she was also being affected by this…bizarre situation.

‘Please don’t let Sheldon have a freaky sense of smell on top of freaky hearing.’

Finally gathering up her courage, she reached for the dick in front of her. It was hot against her cool skin and it made her squeeze it twice, it made Sheldon groan in a way she’s never heard from him before. Her hand tried to move up and down but her hands were dry and it was hard. ‘No pun intended.’ She laughs in her head.

Sheldon wasn’t talking which was freaking her out even more. She was kind of expecting him to tell her how to do it and then berate her for doing it wrong, but the only sounds coming from his mouth were small grunts every time her hand moved up. It did something to her, to hear him like that, made her feel in control, he was making those sounds because of her.

The great Sheldon Cooper was nothing but putty in her hands. She was the one making him close his eyes in pleasure, her hand was the reason for his frown and grimace in pleasure.

She was so focused on his face and the sounds he was making that the feeling of his precum covering her fingers made her flinch in surprise for a moment before focusing back on the dick at hand. ‘You’re hilarious Penny.’ Joking made her not focus on the way her own body was reacting to this entire thing.

Thanks to the lubrication her hand had an easier time pumping him, she twisted her hand on the upswing and right on the head of his dick which made him buck to try and fuck her hand. She was certain he didn’t realize what he was doing.

“Penny! I-” Sheldon’s voice was frantic and panicked, the way he was bucking his hips and pressing his back against the bed made it clear what was about to happen. Still pumping him she looked for the cup…and realized it was still in the plastic bag, a bag she was not going to be able to open, remove the cup and then open the cup before Sheldon came.

“Sheldon, waitwaitwaitwait.” She used her hand to grab the head of his dick but seeing him flinch made her think it was a bad idea.

Sheldon was too far gone, she could tell that he was past the point of no return. She had a second to find a solution.

“You SO owe me for this!” He wasn’t paying attention to her but she still said it loudly.

Go read the rest at AO3:

[illuminati9exists]

In which, Genie loses his Aladdin

CHAPTER 1: Thanks-freaking-Newton for small mercies.

At Avengers tower,

"I can't believe they called us for 'this'"

"He had flamethrower robots army and a questionable fashion sense. What more do you need in a supervillain for him to be worthy of your time Tony?"

"I am a busy man cap, I can't be present for every wannabe overlords or grieving fathers."

"That's the reason why it was unethical."

"What reason birdbrain?"

"He was grieving Tony. His son is in ICU due to their carelessness. Of course, I am not saying what he did was right. But …. still you should've gone easy on him."

"In ICU birdbrain. Still alive. That doesn't mean he can just attack NYPD."

"What would you know Tony! It is not like you have lost a kid "

"Shut up Clint. Tony is right. Losing someone is not a valid reason for massacre. If not stopped at a right time situation could have been out of control and innocents would have lost lives." Natasha said elbowing Clint. But in the middle of this whole interaction Natasha noticed Tony closing off. Now that she noticed he have been a little off since morning, "Tony, you okay?"

" Yep, nothing to worry here. As barton said it is not like, I would know what losing a child feels like." He said with a bright smile which didn't reached his eyes. Natasha almost didn't catched the last part. She also noticed how instead of any cheesy nickname he used Barton this time.

Before she could ask Tony again Thor called them for attention, "Aye, don't fight brothers. Now that the battle have finished, it's time to call for feast. I am very much in need of pizza right now."

"I have already ordered takeout guys. Order will be here in 10 minutes." Steve said getting off from call.

"I am not hungry. Also I have an important meeting to attend tomorrow on other side of country. See you later kids."

Tony said getting in elevator before anyone could say anything. Natasha got up to call after him worried about his strange behaviour earlier but Steve said that he remembers Jarvis reminding Tony about this meeting in morning. Natasha didn't thought much about it and signed it in her spybrain to investigate later. Well out of boredom actually if not for anything else. Tony always got upto some strange behaviour. Every now and then. ___________________________

Avengers minus Tony gather around sofa for their weekly movie night. Clint was surfing through Tony's CDs, yes CDs which they stole from his old mansion when they went their to get Steve's stuff last week. Tony having CDs was a new kind of surprise in itself. Clint was waiting for right moment to tease tony over it, but first he have to go through them. They didn't ask Jarvis to play some random movie because they wanted to go through Tony's eccentric movie collection which unfortunately looks like old couple's cringey romance movies stuff "Wow, considering Starks I thought their will be more good stuff than some old cliche movies. "

"Mind to share what kind of good stuff Clint." Bruce said settling comfortably on his couch.

"You know illegal never released movies, conspiracy movies, national secrets that kind of stuff. Ohh oh I think I found it 'In which Genie finds his Aladdin' ah this is not a Disney movie. I have seen all Disney movies."

Clint said pulling out blue covered CD from box. It was a plain cd in plastic bag with only name printed on it.

"Just get it over with Clint. You have been going through that for like an hour." Natasha said getting bored. Steve also nodded.

Clint grunted and started the movie.

On screen

nothing started for a while.

"I think CD is......."

Jar you are always listening to me, genie and everything else also. Right.

Just when Clint was about to get up to switch CDs a little girl's and a robotic voice which sounds like Jarvis's voice started to come from TV but screen was still blank.

Not particularly but yes Divya.

Then do you have all recordings of me ,Genie, Pep, Humpty, Sourface and dum-e, u also butterfingers and everyone we meet everyday.

Of course Divya.

Cool then can you do something for me.

Of course Divya whatever you wish , if it is well within my abilities.

It sounds like second part was added as more of an afterthought by robotic voice.

Do this, make a movie of my life using all recordings from the day dada found me and everything just like a real movie, will you ? And don't tell genie or anyone until you finish it. Ok.

Of course Divya. But can I ask why are you asking me to do this in secret.

You will know soon J, soon.

"The robo guy sounds like our residental genius's AI butler Jarvis doesn't he." comments Clint and gets four chorus of yes from group.

With this screen lights up with cartoonish animation showing golden room in a way which looks like common room and the outline of room is like a kettle on blue background of screen. Their is table at centre surrounded by two sofas. Two robotic hands like structures moving around the table in a whir and beeping time to time. Their is a cardboard box sitting on table. For some reason robots are surrounding it and whirring around it. This looks like very old animation movie from times of dinosaur, and modern at the same time. Clint already likes it. And from the looks of it others too. Especially Steve and Thor.

A door opens at the side of room as much you can call kettle a room. Inside steps a man in disheveled suit, upside two buttons of shirt undone, wobbling on feet, scowl plastered on face. He strangely looks like Tony, especially with that signature goatee of his.

"Jarvis, you better have a good reason to pull me from my party.

He starts with his march towards sofas.

And what are dum-e and u doing up here out of workshop."

"Sir exactly 47 minutes 36 seconds ago an intruder appeared in living room with a cardboard box and asked for you. That was the first time I tried to reach you but my signals were jammed. I told him you were outside and busy at the moment. He left a message with me to play when you arrive and also a written message on table below cardboard box with cardboard box sir. Since I wasn't able to reach you or security I let dum-e and u out for stalling the intruder. You should first open the box sir, my scans are showing presence of life inside. "

"What the fuck J, play message on my mobile."

Camera zooms in on Tony. He pulls the box towards him. Dum-e and u crowded beside him to take a look. Tony looks at Dum-e ready with fire extinguisher in his hands and rolls his eyes. He pulls a single sellotape taped on cardboard box making cross with cardboards vertical cut which looks like packaging done by some noob. While doing so Tony mutters to himself about 'some kind of poisonous animals or enlarged viruses'. Last part makes Bruce crack a smile. Enlarged viruses will be terror for society and menace for Avengers if cracked by some supervillain.

"What the fuck. What the fuck.WHAT THE FUCK JARVIS."

Tony shouts as he tries to move away from box when he also notices dum-e raising fire extinguisher to attack the creature inside box when Tony suddenly changes his direction mid-movement and gets in between dum-e the fire ranger and the little creature in the box. And gets doused with the foam all over his head and back while not even a single drop falls on box or inside it. 'Thanks-freaking-Newton for small mercies' Tony mutters while looking at box, expression cross between somewhere terror and glare which intensifies to 100 times when a sound comes from the box which very very sounds like a giggle ?

_____________________________________________________________

So what do you think is the creature inside the box that Tony went against Newton himself to save from the foam bath.🧐🤫

[antiadvil]

Breakdown of all the political references bc some of them no one’s mentioned even though I think they are very funny:

First of all I want to say I DID see some conspiracy theories on Twitter about how Ivana was secretly murdered by Donald Trump. I chose not to explore this in my Dan Howell/Donald Trump crackfic due to time and sanity constraints.

And yes the political reference here is that Ivana and Ivanka Trump have very similar names. Ivanka’s legal name actually is Ivana. Ivanka is a diminutive of Ivana.

Dan then claims that he didn’t have time to learn the names of Donald Trump’s family members because he was busy learning about the intricacies of Trump’s legal cases. Currently, Trump is facing four criminal cases that are in varying degrees of progress. That’s a lot of criminal cases to keep track of, and it doesn’t include any of the civil cases! Donald Trump has been sued many times, but the most notable and recent cases involve a civil fraud case against his New York business (which he lost and is appealing), two defamation lawsuits brought against him by E Jean Carroll (both of which he lost and is appealing), and various attempts to keep him off the ballot in different states (which he won). Additionally, the law involved in the New York hush money case in particular is complicated and confusing: it makes sense that Dan would have to devote a lot of time to understanding the intricacies of these cases. If you want a basic understanding of the cases against Donald Trump, AP News (and many other sites) maintain trackers that show the status of all the current cases.

Phil criticizes this choice by saying that Donald Trump himself does not understand the legal cases against him. This is a fair criticism: whether it’s weaponized or actual misunderstanding, Trump has made many claims about his legal challenges that are simply factually incorrect (such as claiming the New York hush money case— brought by a state prosecutor who does not work with or for the president— is evidence that Joe Biden is personally weaponizing the DOJ against him).

Rather than admit he was calling Phil, Dan claims to have been on TikTok. Dan himself has spoken about his dislike of TikTok, due to its short form content and invasive data collection that fuels an algorithm that can quickly radicalize users. As president, Donald Trump attempted to ban TikTok due to its ties to China. However, in 2024, he reversed his stance and said a TikTok ban would only benefit Facebook.

Donald Trump says “You know, my followers are very loyal. I could shoot someone in the middle of–” before Dan cuts him off. This is a reference to a statement Trump made in 2016, when he said, “I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot someone, and I wouldn’t lose any voters.” Dan cuts him off because this is probably true and incredibly depressing and he doesn’t want to think about it.

In Dan and Phil’s slumber party video, after Dan says he would marry Trump to drain all of his resources, Phil says that Trump is already in a lot of financial trouble. This is true. He owes about half a billion dollars in legal judgements alone. He is probably not in trouble to the point where his credit cards regularly decline. Dan probably just hit the credit limit.

Next I linked to an actual document from the Trump civil fraud trial in New York, in which he was accused of and found liable for fraud, mainly inflating the value of his properties in order to get lower interest rates on loans. The supposed value of Trump Tower was one of several property values which dramatically fluctuated from year to year on his financial statements.

I probably don’t need to explain that the DNC fake sponsoring the fic is a reference to the DNC. But it is! Trump was convicted of falsifying business records soon before I posted this fic so I threw that in.

Donald Trump does not, in fact, support the gays. The log cabin republicans once claimed in a campaign ad that he was the most pro-gay president ever. He said thank you. It was very funny.

Ted Cruz is thinking about his next trip to Cancun because that’s where he went in 2021 when the entirety of Texas was hit by a severe winter storm that caused power outages in some areas (including at Ted’s home!) and killed over 200 people. He quickly returned to Texas when literally everyone was like dude, what the hell.

I am a lesbian, and I can confirm that the lesbians do not love Donald Trump.

It is probably worth noting that many Republican states have attempted to enact drag bans in recent years, though all of the ones I can find are currently unenforceable due to legal challenges or being gutted of the drag portions in an attempt to avoid legal challenges. So Dan is probably legally safe to wear a wedding dress here, though being in drag around Donald Trump and Ted Cruz is probably dangerous in other ways.

I did fact check anything I was uncertain of as I wrote this post but I highly encourage you to look up any of these claims before repeating them to anyone. I am just one very brain fogged guy.

hey babe im gonna be so super real i have never wanted to read anything more than i want dan x trump fanfiction ive been waiting for it for years. i want dan buying cunty outfits on all trumps credit cards PLEASE (but maybe with also a phil cameo? 🥺🥺 i love him too much for him to not be present at all) anyway i love you so much ur beloved to me fr and i love your fics!!

OKAY SO this took a little longer than the last one bc it's 1000 words longer and also because I was procrastinating my main WIP a little less. But I am happy to present this archive locked fic which I formatted and tagged on an iPhone mini in line at a coffee shop and also on the train.

Fun fact, Dan Howell/Donald Trump was already a canonical ao3 tag. Out of character Ted Cruz was not.

ao3 link

masterlist for all of the prompt fics

(I only have two prompts in my inbox rn so I do have room for a few more)

[xenoflight]

x e n o p h i l i u s   a e o n   l o v e g o o d

basics:

name: xenophilius aeon lovegood. pronunciation: zeh·noh·fee·lee·uss  ee·aan  lah·ve·good. meaning: xenophilius- lover of the strange. aeon- age. birthday: february 1st. age: twenty-six. pronouns: he & they. sexuality: pansexual. siblings: step-siblings. parents: diogenes lovegood, eurydice fawcett nee carrow. other family: alpheus fawcett (step-father). languages: english, french, greek, japanese, korean. current residence: tbd. hometown: devon, england.

wizard fun:

hogwarts house: ravenclaw. year of graduation: 1976. occupation: philosopher & freelance consulting magizoologist. pet: niffler named xanadu. blood status: halfblood. species: wizard. patronus: narwhal. this patronus symbolizes magic, freedom, and empathic abilities. a narwhal is the unicorn of the sea – channeling magic through its tusk as it points to the sky, constantly remembering its spiritual mission. narwhal uses its own self to connect to the divine and feel into deeper realities. those with this patronus don’t need a special tool or gear to be connected. they are part of the universe and can tap in at any time. their unique tusk is packed with thousands of sensory receptors. the spiral shape guides the natural flow of growth and perspective as this antenna feels deeply into its environment. narwhals are incredibly empathic and sensitive, noticing and experiencing things beyond the average gates of perception. so sensitive in fact, that no narwhal has ever been successfully kept in captivity for long. those with this patronus need freedom and space. they will seek out a nurturing social pod that respects your sensitive nature as a gift. boggart: xen sees contracts. he sees an interrogation light. he is terrified of those in positions of power using his emotions to control him. he fears extortion and most of all, losing his integrity and free will to choose. amortentia:   walnuts. sweet and nutty, but also with just a bit of chemical scent, walnuts are rumored to be what space smells like, and xen could believe it. he has always felt a fondness for the scent. in many ways, it reminds him of home. wildflowers and mint. it is a strange combination of floral and menthol smells that invigorate both the sense and the imagination. both are earthy and natural, but absolutely distinct. burnt almond cookie. xenophilius’s mother was not a very good cook even though she tried very hard to be an expert. in fact, she regularly found herself burning food while being distracted by other things. so often that xen considered just slightly burned cookie far more palatable than the normal ones. he was the only one who like almond so he always knew they were made just for him. wand type: 13 3/4″, sycamore wood wand with a unicorn hair core, boundless. the sycamore made a questing wand, eager for new experience and losing brilliance if engaged in mundane activities. it was a quirk of these handsome wands that they might combust if allowed to become 'bored', and many witches and wizards, settling down into middle age, were disconcerted to find their trusty wand bursting into flame in their hand as they asked it, one more time, to fetch their slippers. as may be deduced, the sycamore's ideal owner was curious, vital and adventurous, and when paired with such an owner, it demonstrated a capacity to learn and adapt that earned it a rightful place among the world's most highly-prized wand woods. unicorn hair can be used in wandmaking; they produce the most consistent magic, least subject to fluctuations and blockages, most difficult to turn to the dark arts and the most faithful of wands. however, they do not make the most powerful of wands and are prone to melancholy if mishandled. affiliation: xenophilius does not associate with any political movements. (order leaning)

appearance:

height: 5′ 8″. hair color: silver. eye color: dark brown. typical hair style: kept a mid length, around his jaw and chin, it usually is very windswept and loose. he occasionally will style it by tying it up in a little ponytail or gel it into various spikes. fashion style: his pants are too tight and his shirts are too loose. xen can very often be found in jumpers with cosmic motifs. he prefers to wear shimmering and silky fabrics and colors that give a metallic sheen. chains, baubles, charms, and other assorted accoutrements are essential. [ fashion ] distinguishing features: xen is a short king and people have noted that he has a very impish looking face. he is a little cross eyed. there are tattoos on various spots of his body. one on his left ankle of a flying saucer, a large piece on his back of ‘extraterrestrial magic markings’, and a narwhal on the back of his right elbow.

personality:

positive traits: funky. devil may care. unprejudiced. negative traits: impertinent. odd. anarchist. theme song: starman by david bowie

headcanons:

when xen first stumbled upon the crashed satellite, close neighbor and lifelong friend, arthur weasley, was the first person he grabbed to show and explain his new theories. arthur immediately agreed to help him build a magical machine that could help take him back to the stars. they often work on it together at the burrow.

xen writes and prints a zine primarily focusing on his philosophical ideations, the ethos of the extraterrestrial, and an index and deep descriptions of magical creatures that mainstream society largely ignores or believes to be fantasy.

he definitely knows how to play a theremin. it is one of his favorite past times, and he claims that it is a soothing sound which helps him clear his mind when experiencing any form of writer’s block.

biography:

eurydice carrow was the oft forgotten middle child of a well to do pureblooded family that desired a place of belonging. diogenes lovegood was a halfblooded rapscallion who wanted nothing more than to experience all that life had to offer. both were too young and too immature when they met to realize that while they might be in love, they were wildly incompatible. their marriage lasted only long enough to see the birth of a child. diogenes hung around to give him the family name then disappeared on a breeze without so much as a farewell or explanation.

so eurydice raised xenophilius alone for the first five years. the mother and child lived in a little shack on the edge of another family’s property. the rent was a little steep, there was only one bedroom, the kitchen stove still required chopping wood, and the building was practically falling apart. however, there was always a well tended garden of dirigible plums and an assortment of critters who made themselves equally at home. during this time, xen developed a deep well of empathy and endless curiosity.

despite the less than common circumstances of his home life, xenophilius rarely felt as though anything was lacking. their simple life never seemed odd as he had nothing else to compare it to. eurydice did not share that perspective. so she decided to remarry an amiable gentleman in a similar situation to her. they moved into his nicer home in ottery st catchpole, and xen into a basement that was converted into a bedroom. he had never felt so out of place in his life.

unfortunately, that was a feeling xenophilius never quite seemed able to shake. it lingered. it became exacerbated as his mother, step-father, and step-siblings grew comfortable together and began to thrive while he obviously did not belong here. xen grew to hate that house. where was his real father? why did his mother think he suddenly needed one now? why did this nuclear family feel so forced and wrong? it was supposed to be perfect.

most of his time came to be spent out exploring the neighborhood. xen liked to befriend to local fauna, experiment with the flora, and observe the people both magic and muggle alike. his curious nature never faltered, and he made close friends with a handful of the other kids that resided in the area. they became the sort with whom xen shared all of these difficult coming of age thoughts.

then one summer night, a loud explosion and crash startled him from bed. while it still woke the whole house, it was surprisingly loud even in the muffled basement. his step-father exclaimed that something fell from the sky. they would go report it tomorrow, but everyone should go back to sleep for the night. xen knew that would never happen. instead he snuck out and gathered his friends to go look for the impact site together. they found what was later thought to be the wreckage of a downed satellite just north of their property line. to xen, it appeared more like a method of travel; a spaceship.

this sparked the beginning of xenophilius’s love of all things extraterrestrial.

he delved into an interest in the stars, planets, asteroids, comets, and even any potential inhabitants of such places. for the first time, he felt at home in these concepts. xen came to believe that perhaps he too was a spaceman. had his father been alien too? is that why he left? or is that who was trying to return for him and crashed? all the questions that hounded him for years seemed unequivocally answered with his new theory.

that autumn, xen received his letter of acceptance into hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry. unsurprisingly, he was quickly sorted into ravenclaw. the house of wit and learning bolstered that infamously curious nature and matured his abstract pondering. he showed a natural talent in herbology and arithmancy classes while he all but flunked out of defense against the dark arts as his core ethos could not reconcile with the systematic opinion imposed on the curriculum. however, he proved to be exceptional at care of magical creatures. by and far, xen stood out as a singularly gifted student with all matters regarding creature care although his methods were considered as unconventional.

as were the rest of his ideologies. while at school, xen continued to chafe against the status quo. every year he grew more at odds with what appeared to be normal. eventually, he stopped pretending that like that was something he regretted. he didn’t. xen was well pleased with his non-conformity and the philosophies that he began to incorporate into his life. that and his obvious aversion to any war influence certainly effected how he was perceived by his peers, though. it made it somewhat difficult to find a steady job after graduation.

xen moved back into that house he hated for a while, but took the odd magizoologist job here and there to search for rumored and unknown species. eventually he was able to scrounge up enough extra money to afford a disreputable place of his own. he had not been moved in for very long when an offer was extended for him to participate in a long term research expedition to find the elusive star munching snifflebits. it was an opportunity that he could not refuse.

it has been two years since they departed, and xen only recently returned to town.

[mads-weasley]

Hold My Hand: Part One

Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Wife!Pilot!Reader

Masterlist

| Part Two | Part Three | Part Four |

A/N: I saw Top Gun: Maverick, and the only thing I can say is that my mind is completely blown. WOW. I don't know if I've seen a better movie, and that's saying something. Also, MILES TELLER WITH A MUSTACHE, WHO WOULD'VE THOUGHT, AM I RIGHT? Anyways, this fic was born out of my instant obsession with Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw. I do not own any of these characters except (y/n). Enjoy!

Summary: (Y/n) and Bradley share their last night before the mission together...

Warnings: mentions of death, extreme sadness, slight fluff, idk?

(y/h/c) - your hair color

(y/e/c) - your eye color

italics - flashbacks

"hen" - your callsign

Tomorrow is the day. The day of the mission. The day they could lose everything. As (y/n) and Bradley walked out of the base to their car, silence filled the air. Normally, the couple would rarely shut up while around the other, but they knew the risks involved with the upcoming mission. The life they had built together was now in jeopardy.

Bradley gently intertwined his hand with (Y/n)'s over the middle console of his truck, knowing she needed something to pull her from her thoughts. After being married for two years, he knew how to get her out of her own head.

"Hey, babe, what do you want for dinner? You can choose and I won't even complain," he said with a smirk, turning to look at her briefly.

A small smile of her own painted her face, making his heart flutter. After all the years they'd spent together, she never failed to give him butterflies.

"No complaining?" she laughed, "I'll believe that when I see it, rooster."

His hand flew to his chest, feigning offense, "I promise you, Mrs. Bradshaw. On my pilot's honor."

"Sure, sure."

"What are we having, though? Cause I'm starving."

(Y/n) rolled her eyes as they pulled into their driveway. "You'll just have to wait and see."

With a small whine, he turned to see her getting out of the truck.

"(Y/n/n), come on. I'm serious."

"So am I," she whispered, leaning into the window before entering the house with a smile.

Watching her figure disappear into the house, he couldn't help but think back to the first time he saw her.

Four Years Ago

Walking into The Hard Deck for the first time, Bradley felt nostalgia wash over him. Memories of his dad played in his mind as he walked up to the bar. Wearing his signature Hawaiian shirt and aviators, he almost looked like a tourist.

"Did you lose your tour guide?" a voice said on his right.

He spun towards the voice. "Actually, I'm a-"

When he saw who the voice belonged to, the words got lost in his throat. A (y/h/c) girl in a beachy tank top and shorts, wearing some aviators of her own stood before him with a smirk on her face.

"You alright there, buddy? Cat got your tongue?" She laughed.

"Yes ma'am," he grinned, "It's just- well, you look like a tourist yourself."

A loud laugh escaped her mouth as she stuck her hand out. "(Y/n) (y/l/n)."

"Bradley Bradshaw, but everybody calls me ro-" he started but was interrupted by a shriek of joy calling his new friend's name. Glancing over her shoulder, her eyes lit up at the sight of her old friend. Smiling even wider, she looked over to him, "I'll see you around, Bradshaw."

"See ya."

Watching her figure disappear into the crowd, he ran a hand down his face. 'Oh, I'm in trouble.' He whispered to himself.

The Next Day

"Recruits. Welcome to Top Gun. If you made it here, you're the best of the best. Here, you'll be tested to your limits and shown what you are truly capable of as pilots."

(Y/n) was seated at the back of the small room as the Captain gave them the rundown of the program. Looking around, she could almost smell the testosterone in the air. She was one of two female pilots in the class, so she knew what to expect. What she didn't expect, though, was the handsome mustache guy from the bar to be sitting a few rows in front of her. Things started to make sense in her mind as she connected his slight ego with being a hotshot pilot.

Since their encounter, she couldn't get his stupid smirk out of her mind. She had never been the kind to get caught up on a guy, but something about him intrigued her. 'You can't get distracted,' she told herself and focused back on the Captain's speech.

She sighed in relief, realizing he hadn't seen her at the end of the briefing. As soon as they were dismissed, she bolted out of the room, not staying to talk to anyone.

Walking out of the briefing room, Bradley saw a familiar head of (y/h/c) rush around the corner. He could've sworn it was the girl he met last night, but what were the chances she was here for Top Gun too?

Leaning over to the recruit next to him, callsign "Payback," he asked, "Who's the (y/h/c) who dipped before everyone else?"

He looked around. "It was probably Hen."

"Hen?" Rooster asked incredulously.

"Yeah. It's her callsign. I don't know her personally, but all I know is that she's the best of the best."

Chuckling, Bradley laughed at the chance he had a crush on a girl with the callsign "Hen."

Later that day, the class met up at The Hard Deck. The second Hen walked in, Bradshaw pushed off the wall he had been leaning on, intercepting her at the pool table.

"Hey there, Hen." He smiled cockily.

She returned the smile, "It's Rooster, right Your callsign?"

"Yes ma'am. Rooster and Hen. Isn't that somethin?"

Payback overheard the conversation, laughing loudly. "You know what that means! You two have to get together now!"

With a playful scowl, she turned towards him. "Remember, I can easily shoot you out of the sky, Fitch."

"Very funny, Hen. I can do the same."

Rooster joined the conversation with a laugh. "Can you, though? I've heard she's the best of the best."

Payback's face falls. "Damn it, Rooster."

Gently putting his hand on the small of her back, Bradley ushered them towards the bar, getting two drinks for them. Little did he know, his touch had sent goosebumps across her body.

"So, why Hen?" He asked, looking down into her (y/e/c) eyes.

She raised her eyebrows, taking a sip of beer. "Well, I grew up on a farm, and it was my childhood nickname, so it just stuck. Why Rooster?"

Something flashed in his eyes at the question, but she couldn't decipher what. "My dad was a Navy pilot too. His callsign was Goose. He died in combat when I was really young. I guess Rooster is pretty close to Goose."

"I think it's pretty darn close."

He chuckled slightly. "Look at us. We're practically half a barnyard between the two of us."

Laughter filled the space between them. When it faded out, they were merely a few inches apart, eyes meeting expectantly. The tension in the air could be cut with a knife as both started to lean in slowly. Just as their lips were about to meet, Penny rang the bell behind the counter causing cheers erupting around them. Pulling apart, Rooster smiled, closing his eyes and letting out a huff of air. Opening them, he saw (y/n) was doing the same.

Present Day

(Y/n) was cooking with her AirPods in, so she didn't hear Bradley sneak up on her. He wrapped his arms around her from behind, making her jump slightly. Pausing her music, she peered up at him.

"Bradley Bradshaw! Don't you scare me like that!" She scolded him with a smirk.

Kissing her on the temple, he whispered in her ear. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. I just wanted to hold ya."

Her smile faded. "We need to talk about it. I can't just act like it's not happening."

"I know."

Sighing, he softly grabbed her hand and led her into their bedroom. He sat against the headboard, tucking her close into his side.

"I'm scared, Brad," she sniffed, wiping a few stray tears that streaked down her cheeks.

"Me too." he paused, trying to keep his composure. "I'm not scared of dying. I'm scared of losing you. You're my whole life and I know I couldn't live without you."

The quiver in his voice didn't go unnoticed. She cupped his cheeks gently. "You know I feel the same way. There's no Rooster without his Hen, huh?"

A small smile graced his lips as tears spilled over his waterline. "I love you more than anything, Hen."

"I love you more, Roost."

The couple embraced tightly, sobs escaping both of them. The family they might never start flashed in his mind. The birthday parties and family vacations they might not have.

After a while, they pulled apart, eyes red and puffy, (y/n) breaking the silence. "We're going to make it through this, but if something goes wrong and I don't, I-"

"No. Don't. Don't say that." he pleaded.

The tears made their appearance once again. "I-if something happens to me," he shook his head, refusing to listen to her confession. "I left a letter in the glove compartment of your truck...I pray you never have to open it, but just in case, I wanted you to know."

"You're going to be okay. I'll make sure of it."

"Can you just hold me? I just want to stay right here, right now with you."

Smiling tearfully, he rubbed his hand down her arm. "Always."

She leaned up and kissed him softly, snuggling into his side as he wrapped his arms around her, bringing them as close as possible. Within minutes, (y/n) had fallen asleep on Bradley's chest. He leaned down and kissed her temple.

"I love you, Hen. Goodnight, sweetheart. We're going to be okay."

Part Two

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

I found it!

I spent all of last night looking through my old emails, and I found two word documents from June 2013 that I sent to my mom so she could print them out at her job because we didn't have a printer at home. It doesn't have a name, I just called it the New Language Dictionary, and it's just as terrible as I remembered!

I went with a OSV word order, object subject verb, in part because I read somewhere that it was the least common word order on Earth, but mostly because I thought it was funny to make it backwards like Yoda.

My example sentence was a Roosterteeth reference...

People like grapes

Grapes people like

Dienegafri dieneumaleos neguatanes (literally two-grape two-person they enjoy)

My main thought process was "does English do this? Then i'll do the opposite." English pluralizes words with suffixes? I'll use nothing but prefixes for everything!

to run: haranar

running: niaharanar

to stop: tarapor

stopping: niatarapor

to want: hanamineir

wanting: niahanamineir

Why are all my verbs so long? It's like I thought it wouldn't sound foreign enough unless everything had multiple gibberish syllables. Oh, and did I say vaguely Latin sounding? I meant vaguely Spanish, because that was the only language I had ANY experience with. It was a required course in elementary, middle, and high school, but they never progressed us beyond the basics, so I learned and relearned the alphabet, the days of the week, the months, the seasons, emotions, yo hablo, tu hablas, el/ella habla, half a dozen times. I ended up trying to combine the sounds of Spanish and French, q for k sounds, j for zh sounds ( as in vision, pleasure, amnesia), ch for sh (except sometimes ch is k, and sh exists by itself, but also s and c by themselves are sometimes sh too), it's all an anomaly.

Didn't want to drift too far from English with the vowel sounds though

a = aw (as in "fall")

e = eh (bed)

i = ee (see)

o = oh (snow)

u = oo (you)

ae = ah (cat)

ai = aye (time)

ei = ay (name)

ie = ih (sit)

uu = uh (fun)

oi = oy (boy)

ou = ow (cow)

uu for uh is particular egregious, yikes. Aw, ay, ee, oh, oo are the basic five, don't know why I didn't copy them over from Spanish.

I didn't include words like "because" or "girl" or "travel," but I do have words for "zombie" (joramerot), "football" (lajaqa), "psychology" (michaqonte), "heptagon" (jenona), "microwave" (lechnaqe), and "dinosaur" (jeresnaqo).

The words for wisdom, courage, and power are taken from the Triforce goddesses in the Legend of Zelda (nayru, farore, and din), and I don't even play those games so I don't know why I included them.

I do notice a few Greek and Latin roots sneaking in here and there

new = neota

water = hydralaqo (rain = hydragoba, well = hydrosa, fish = hydraneta, the words for boat, bridge, ark, lake and amphibian all have hyd in them)

stupid = morionus (clever, ain't I?)

I found exactly two words with X in them, "some" (xuntei) and "time" (xumos). No word for "sometimes" though.

The grammar rules are inconsitent to nonexistent, in no small part because I didn't fully understand tenses or participles. "Past, present, future, what else could you need?" If I could't make sense of it, I just skipped it or forced it into compliance. "I had seen him" became "he, I used to have, I used to see," "hiq vaiaden fotaden."

This is a glorious mess.

I'm really glad I didn't lose it.

I just discovered Swadesh Lists, lists of 100 or 200 basic words that tend not to change over time as the rest of the language evolves. I got really into conlangs in high school and college, and this is a resouce I wish I'd known about back then. This link includes lists from 200 languages, modern and historical, including reconstructions of proto-languages and the more well known conlangs. This is the perfect way to compare cognates around the world and see how different consonants shift from predecessor to successor and across relatives in the same families. I'm an amateur so I can't appreciate them all in the same ways a linguistic scholar could, but this scratches an itch in my brain I didn't realize I've had for years.

I think I'm gonna try my hand at conlanging again. My first attempt, something like 10 or 12 years ago, was essentially just English replaced with vaguely Latin sounding gibberish. This was probably like five laptops ago, I doubt I still even have a copy anywhere, but if I can find it I'll post some of it here.

[defectfile1wav]

DSMP characters, but I dress them as characters they remain me of: THE SYNDICATE

/ PART 1 / ??? / (THIS ONE WILL TAKE A WHILE)

This is just an excuse to put them into funky clothes and to think about characters.

Quick character comparison under:

NIKI NIHACHU as Guillermo de la Cruz WWDITS

- Let down too many times.

- Very nice, sweet and very fuck up.

- "The only reason you're alive is because I. Let. You. Live"

- I'm so sorry Honey, I can't believe you're surrounded by idiots

- "*Breaks someone's neck* Sorry, I'm in a silly mode."

- Apocalypse Victorian meets Grandma Sweaters

- *Looks at the camera like they're in the office*

- "Yeah, I can help with that, but I'm on my break, sooooo...."

- A little pathetic meow meow in their room under stairs / underground.

- "Love you bestie! *Trows gasoline on you and lifts a match*"

TECHNOBLADE as BLACKBEARD OFMD

- "Haven’t died yet, have I? Maybe we should try that."

- Bored as fuck. 

- He wears fine things well

- INTIMIDATION

- Dressed for a runway, not a whole bloody fight.

- Burned a ship / town down.

- He has cut fingers and made people eat them for fun

- Sneaky bastard. 

- FUCKERIES is his middle name.

- A menace with a good sense of humor

- Loyal 

- "Stab me"

PHILZA as Karl Heisenberg RE8

- "Your funeral."

- Body horror

- Trauma? Build a whole factory / basement for your weird shenanigans

- Family Issues.

- Killing family members.

- A fucking manic with manners.

- Destroyed a whole city for the funnies.

- "This hat is glued to my head"

- Short king.

- With a million of silly little henchmen. 

RANBOO as MK - Lego Monkey KIng.

- Found himself being the main character by accident.

- G E N D E R . 

- Powerful kid who doesn't really know what he's doing.

- Manipulated for someone he considers as a "mentor / friend".

- Needs a kick of confidence.

- “You’re a really nice kid”

- His mentor is an animal self-aware god.

-"I’ll keep all my emotions right here, and then one day I’ll die"

- Self destructive tendencies.

- "IF ONE MORE OF MY FRIENDS, FLIES (DIES) OFF TODAY, I’M GONNA LOSE IT!”

- Sees a literal monster and goes, "He’s build like a friend”

- His brain cells come and go, and that’s okay.

[sweatandwoe]

How about... has SI Silco at this point ever had a dream involving reader or woken up after one & was flattened by all the emotions he'd been trying to hold in or anything like that by chance??? 👀👀👀

this put me into a chokehold. It's a bit angsty though with some fluff.

“Stop squirming.”

You continued to squirm, to your amusement and his annoyance. Still, he couldn’t stop his mouth from twitching when he caught your smile. That annoying warmth flooded through him again.

The bandages came off your fingers easily. “This may feel funny.” He warned, as he cut through the stitches at the knot. And then pulled them through.

“I really hope I don’t need those again.” You said, smiling. He smiled back, hand coming up to hold your now healed one. Your fingers entwine easily, with a sense of unnatural familiarity.

He blinked and you were gone. His hand was empty and he stood in darkness. He called your name, and all he heard was a sob. When he raised his voice, and your crying began. Loud and deafening in his ears. He couldn’t find you, and he couldn’t see you.

Your voice cut in, over your own crying. “Do you think Angelique was thinking the same thing for Finn?”

Your crying cut suddenly, as red splattered the ground in front of him. Over his pants and chest. When he closed his eyes all he could see was your eyes, glazed over and blank.

Opening them, he saw his bedroom ceiling. He could feel the sweat cold on his back, and he gripped one of his blankets around him. His breath coming out in pants.

He sat up slowly, running a hand over his face, bringing it back up to run through his hair next. His hands still shook.

He swung his legs over the side of the bed, not caring to even check the time before he moved to the bathroom. He gripped the wall, letting the water run over him. Trickling over old scars, as he scraped his nails against the tile. You were fine, still probably asleep and curled up downstairs.

His eyes snapped open. You were fine. Probably.

He was almost angry as he marched down the stairs. You’d be asleep in bed. He’d be waking you. But his nerves refused to calm down.

This feeling was so idiotic. He hated it. He knocked once on your door. After a minute, he knocked again, that feeling crawling up his throat. Spreading through his limbs as he just worried.

He heard the shuffling of feet on carpet, and he swallowed. You opened the door slightly, hair a mess and eyes so sleepy. You yawned even as you tried to speak. “Silco?” You blinked at him, brow furrowing slightly. “Is everything okay?”

“Yes.” Your head tilted. He had never felt more like an idiot. “I just… I wanted to check on you.”

Then you stared at him. He could feel the sweat starting to form on the back of his neck. “Why?”

He couldn’t think of a lie, or anything that would make sense for him to come knocking at your door in the middle of day. All he could do was look away, before he spoke. “I had a bad dream.” He almost turned around then, to run back the way up the stairs. And hide away until you forgot all about this.

Then he felt your hand on his cheek, turning his face back to your own. Your smile was so soft and warm, that it felt like his chest had been punched. He felt breathless. Your thumb ran over his cheek bone. “Do you want to talk about it?”

He swallowed. “Not yet.”

You didn’t let go of him. “Do you need me to help with anything?”

That offer was far too open. He could feel warmth flooding his face, as he shook his head. And you smiled, somehow even happier than before. He wanted to lose himself in it.

Your hand lowered, but to cup his jaw. Lowering his head, and he truly felt like he’d been punched when you kissed his forehead. A small gasp, before he bit his lip. Your lips were so soft against his skin, and he felt almost delirious from it.

“That usually helps scare Jinx’s nightmares off.” Your hand left him, and he was cold. A chill ran through him, as you stepped back further into your room. “Goodnight, Silco.”

“Goodnight, darling.” He responded easily, watching as your lips twitched at the endearment. Then the door was shut.

He leaned his forehead against it, enjoying the cold wood against his heated skin. Your room was so cold, he could’ve offered you to come upstairs, to join him in bed. Where he could slip his arms around you and pretend you cared about him as much as he did for you.

Instead he turned on his heel, heading back upstairs and into his bed.

The forehead kiss worked and no haunts came to him that night. Only haunted by his thoughts of you in the morning when he woke.

I am in trouble, was the only thing he could think as your smile plagued his waking moments just as much as his sleeping ones.