#i second about needing a vacation
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ravio I started drawing spring of last year
#loz#legend of zelda#a link between worlds#ravio#albw#what i tell ya? a ravio this year!!!!#listen i am so tired. i have been tired for like 12 weeks#now I just came from a 4 week#i messed up. from a four week vacation that i didn’t relax during at all. not a SINGLE SECOND RELAXED#id be angry as hell if that wouldn’t take the rest of my energy#anyway i finished echoes of wisdom today finally. cute little game. made me really sad#its not a sad game but multiple times it made me really sad and. i dont have time to think about why#i didn’t really like the final boss. or i think itd be a little better if we got to be link but just by a little#it wasnt great. none of the bosses were tbh. i cant remember a single boss#zelda needed a weapon. and i would like to have more concrete puzzle solutions. we echo too many items for me to remember what i have#especially when i was picking up from gameplay i last did in october#wouldnt be as much a problem if i was playing consistently every week#that was a little of my problem in totk too. the puzzles were too open. they were so open in fact that nobody solved them ‘correctly’#thats all i got i need to do my hw and close my eyes
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thinking about how kant told captain christ he wasn't going to work for him anymore and 0.5s later — the instant he realized bison was in imminent danger — he was right back to trying to placate him.
#i just think it's neat. fox in a trap !!#yeah sure it's a hail mary to buy time i'm not saying he's actually intending to keep working for the captain here#but i don't think he really has a plan at all at this point it's all immediate action and reaction. compels me...#everything christ says in this sequence is crazy suspicious btw.#suddenly trying to arrest bison when the whole point was that he wanted lilly?#saying he doesn't need kant anymore the second kant calls it quits? bringing up his little brother? ominous!#intended to make a post about torture beach vacation but i ended up here instead...#the heart killers
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if the companions are walls, then wyll is a vault. he pick and choose what to show you, and he choose to show you mercy and kindness. there are many events in the game that indicate this. if you fail to save counsilor florrick, he is rightfully upset, but he choose to forgive you. if you can't save his father from the iron throne, he get very sad but he still choose to stay with you.
but there's one scene where he get really furious at you.
if you went to the coronation and start a fight with gortash ( which obviously will get ulder killed ), wyll will be very angry and start saying how it's hard for him to forgive you, and how he can never forget this one time where you direspect his request ( to save his father and let him meet him face to face after all these years ).
once again, contrary to popular beliefs, this man is not all sunshine and rainbows that a lot of people assume. when you take a peek behind his words and mask, you'll notice that he just want to present the better version of himself to you.
#baldurs gate 3#bg3#wyll ravengard#wyll bg3#bg3 spoilers#baldurs gate 3 spoilers#text : me yapping#wyllposting#i have a lot more to say about wyll#but my adhd brain is not kind to me and english is my second language so i don't want to sound incoherrent#this man need years of vacation guys#i love himb
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Had a doctor tell me quite sincerely this morning that my "life seems miserable" because of my health problems and it immediately made me think of the damn bitch you live like this meme
#like i cant stop thinking about it#he wasnt even the doctor i was there to see#the nurse called him in because my heart rate was high and it scared her#but like thats just a normal flare day for me#so anyway this guy i dont even know comes barging into the room to listen to my heart and ask about my symptoms etc#and then he says that its not sustainable to live like this and how i must be miserable#and im just like lol okay like tell me something i dont know#oh and when i told him i usually get through flares by staying in bed for a day or two#his response was to say how that would make going on vacation hard because i might end up having to be bedridden for part of it#and like#first of all#im too broke for vacations lol#second of all#i can barely leave the house bc of my health so what vacations would i even be attempting#idk like he did seem genuinely concerned#but i was honestly not in the mood to hear all that#like i was (and still am) feeling extremely unwell#i just wanted to go home#did not need or want the pity of some random doctor
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they call me the griever because halfway through a thing I enjoy I’m already sad that it’s closer to being over
#blue chatter#trying to work on not doing this#and just enjoying the thing in the moment#this happens to me a lot with school breaks and such#like ‘oh I love being on spring break but I’m sad bc I’m already 3 days in’#‘oh I love summer vacation so far it’s too bad it’s already a month over’#and I’m like NO!!!!! blue!!!!!!!! you’re missing the point!!!!!!!!#you have the joy *right now* and you are SPOILING IT bc you’re too busy looking ahead to when it will be gone!!!!!!!!!#it happens with friend visits a lot. it’s less bad now but it still happens.#like. the first time I visited friends over spring break I woke up in the early morning of the last morning and just cried#because I only had a few hours left before I had to get on the plane home#and I start hurriedly stuffing seconds and minutes into my mouth and refusing to swallow#because maybe if I just cling extra hard then the time won’t pass-#but it does pass. and that’s okay. and I know that’s okay because life had more joyful things after that moment#had I stayed there on that day I would have been frozen as a much more miserable person#my friends themselves would have been very different people#I mean. fuck. between then and now two of us figured out our genders. both of them got married. they moved somewhere else now.#there’s a lot of little joys that got left behind there. a church they loved. a local park. mountains and windy streets.#but I wouldn’t hold ourselves there. which I try to remind myself when I start crying about lost time again#because yeah. this will end someday. human lifespans aren’t infinite.#but the future is full of life I still have to live. there’s no saying that I can’t have good things again.#and this period of my life is rapidly rushing towards a much more uncertain future and I know that and it’s scary#I know I have about 11 months to make several very adult decisions that will determine a lot of my future#but no matter what I choose this period of my life is not wasted#and I don’t need to hurriedly optimize every second and mourn losing them#and I know that. and I still feel sad and mourny. but that might be more indicative that I’m hungry or smth.
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Assorted 0509 doodles from my computer, because I can't draw them right now and it's Killing me---
#milgram#milgram project#mikoto kayano#shidou kirisaki#0509#0905#my art#no this isn't my second time posting this what are you talking about#pretty sure these are in order from most to least recent#anyways yeah i've been on family vacation so i haven't been able to draw them :(((#but i need to draw them soooo bad i'm gonna explode#so yea sorry for disappearing </333#i've been writing at least ig...#also yes this is my coming out as a t4t 0509 truther#i am Passionate about this and anyone who agrees is an honorary sibling to me#okay that's all i will be back with proper art soon hopefully <3333
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#i am at my fucking limit lol#i need to leave this fucking town and this fucking state the very second i can nail down both a car and a remote job#the fucking ''''affordable'''' housing company i rent from has once again opted to start harassing us#and we're once again gonna have to be in a fucking fight with landlords who think that we're making too much money to live in a $1200 apt#and want us to pay $2000 a month for this rathole we live in despite taxes and deductions literally absorbing a quarter of our earnings#so they want to absorb half of what we have left when ive yet to be able to even afford a car that isn't a fucking beater destined for scrap#at least not without using p much all of my current life savings in the process#so we have to instead get around by buses that refuse to actually show up take us on huge detours for no reason have lead feet that-#-exacerbate my chronic pain and - oh! how could i forget? is also horrifically mismanaged to the point where they're now canceling entire-#-bus routes including the one i take to work and ALSO GOES TO THE AIRPORT lol#and nothing will fucking change about the highway robbery rent hikes bc the entire state legislature is filled with and bought by-#-landlords NIMBYs and property management firms.#that's not even getting into the fact that ive got too many traumatic memories too many enemies and not enough good things to show for it#the only thing I've got in this fucking town is my partner bc not even our home can be considered safe anymore.#i want to take them and the home we dream of and get the fuck out bc i can't keep doing this shit#and i can't even fucking talk to them about this bc they need me to be the strong one for once#im so tired. i feel like im in danger even though i know we'd be able to tank the hit to our finances. but i would like to escape.#i know of a city in ny where our $1200 rent is considered the norm. there's also so much more to do within reach that isn't just. drinking.#i wanna go there. i may have had a desire to live there since our vacation there this past March.#but for now im stuck here dreaming of the future and fighting off desperation and despair in the present#this breakdown brought to you by: the bus purposely avoiding my stop this morning after learning my landlord wants to ruin us again#vent
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i don’t understand ppl who leave their packing, until the last minute. i am already packing and i don’t go anywhere for over a week, imao
#*walter white voice* jesse we need to pack#imao i’m watching brba and thinking about packing at 2am#i actually haven’t started packing but i’m gonna pack all my clothes and just leave everything else until the day before#bc a lot of stuff i still need in the meantime#i also need to put pins on my jacket but that’s a separate thing that i keep forgetting to do#bc i think a lot of my best pins would be better on my jacket#i actually need to work out which clothes i’m wearing#like which ones to pack and which ones i’m wearing on the drive#i’m planning on probably just wearing sweats and a regular ass shirt#and i’ll dress up when i’m actually there#and i gotta make sure i have my meds all sorted#and i need to make sure i don’t forget anything and that i keep everything safe#this post is kinda just me talking to myself imao#but honestly they usually are#okay but like someone tell me to not to pack at 2am bc i can literally do it tomorrow during the day but my brain is like ‘pack now!!’#bc i have it stuck in my head#imao i’m also only going for three days but travelling is a whole thing with me#leaving the house in general is a whole thing with me#what may seem like nothing to some people is a huge deal to me#like wow you’re going on vacation for three days? so what?#but this is only the second time i’ve done this#and the longest i’ll have been away from home aside from when i was in the hospital#so yeah it’s a big deal#the worst part is the travel tho#when i’m actually there i’ll have a fun time bc i did last time#well kinda i also got homesick and was in the middle of a depressive episode but i digress#but this time i’m not! so go me!#gwen actually leaves the house and feels good about it for once!#gwen rambles#gwenposting
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Listen they had to stop giving Beverly scenes in the last couple episodes of Hannibal because she would have taken will to the hospital immediately and then there would not have been a plot.
#hannibal#nbc hannibal#s1#beverly katz#listen listen i will die on the hill that will and beverly were friends#beverly who treated will with dignity and respect who joked with him#who he nearly told what was going on in that one episode if zeller hadn't interrupted them#like beverly would have seen will lecturing to an empty class room and see him looking like actual death and been like boy you good#beverly went on a vacation and when she came back will was a criminal and was like ??? the fuck??#listen i just love beverly katz a lot#beverly if she had any talking scenes in the last couple episodes : hey have you seen a doctor about this shit?#will: yah hannibal said it was stress and the neurologist said my scans were normal#beverly: well you look like youre about to die so like maybe you need a second opinion besides stress cant give you seizure#will:...what seizures
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What do you do when it is 10pm and your mom is scrubbing your bathtub (which she has already done multiple days in a row)
#shelby speaks#i do feel a bit like im going crazy#shes trying to get the calcium/lime buildup off that has gotten BAD since our tub has leaked for years#but jesus h woman go to bedddd#we had to go to walmart to buy a new cleaner#i have to take an exam but there cant be sound or people in the back so i kind of need her to stop#and also i have been about 2 seconds away from a panic attack all evening 🤙#i know that my house was kind of dirty but i dont know why shes spending her Vacation cleaning#she literally has a massive hernia. and she is on hands and knees scrubbing. and its 10 pm
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I got my final grade for the first course of my program. 97.97%
I was upset about it and the husband kept trying to explain that I shouldn't be upset. So, here we are.
#I have about a week off until I need to start the second course#I'm going to try to enjoy it#especially since we leave for vacation on Sunday#irl#real life
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okay google how do i move out of eastern europe but stay in the eu but go somewhere i speak the language but somewhere that has healthcare and somewhere where i dont need to become a construction worker and also somewhere that is not germany. thanks
#i wanna go to aotearoa I've always wanted to but it's so FAR AWAY. also i need somewhere cold also i#love authentic gothic buildings too much to leave europe. but omfggggg#like it's truly so. i dont want to move somewhere where english isnt a main language but the#uk is out and ireland is unlikely and canada is just somewhat nicer french usa and nz is 4 days travel away. blows up#whatever i have 4 semesters of uni left to think about it. it just feels like im#hurtling full speed at the inevitability of living the rest of my life in Germany#i dont want to live in germany idek why but im sooo. like omg nooo 😭😭😭#partly because it's such a cliché but also coz it's such a vacation country for me like we#went there for vacation like. unironically at least 3 times every single year#insert joke abt *getting back at the 10000000000 german tourists that come to hungary every day* that I'm too sleepy to make#it's so . like i used to have a specific goal in mind (uk ☹️) but then SOMEONE had to go and leave the eu#and also the uk sucks fat shit like csöbörből vödörbe omg. but now i have no#real goal so im just drifting w the vague knowledge that any second now I'll have to pack all my#shit up and escape before it's too late. but where 😀😀😀#i have no qualms abt leaving my f*mily behind but I'll miss budapest#and if i left Europe I'd miss it too especially coz even canada feels really far let alone nz which yknow. 3-4 days of travel#it's the lack of goals that's killing me like OMFGG HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WORK HARD AND#STRIVE FOR SMTG WHEN I HAVE NOTHING SPECIFIC IN MIND...#i mean ''get the fuck out'' is something but it's not Enough. i need to be insane about a#place that's accessible. all the cities/locations im crazy about are inaccessible for one reason or another#bristol and wales are in the uk. nz is on the exact opposite side of the planet. life so sad.#canada is the most likely one honestly but like omgggg. godddddjfdnffnfjfmmf#they should invent a budapest that's not in hungary. they should invent a hungary that isn't comically awful#barking#ok to rb#eastern europe#like im fluent in 3 languages and i can get by in like 10 other ones i Could brush up on any language relatively quickly if it came to that#but it's like. 1. I'd have to pick a location 2. learning a new language also means#getting an entire new personality as well which yknow. idk if i have the capacity for another one rn#i should just become fluent in the ones im somewhat good at but idk which to pick
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i really do love being home for break but the problem is that i don’t love anything but being with my sister and friends . so when that isn’t happening it feels so meaningless i’m just sitting on the couch at my moms house in a town i hate feeling like shit and missing my apartment and city . also something i’m learning is that i am INCAPABLE of operating on somebody else’s time like it’s really bad . it’s not just me being a control freak tho ofc that’s part of it the issue is mostly just that i can’t stand now knowing exactly what’s going on and i can’t focus and it ruins my mood . and everybody else is like yay vacation !! break!! we don’t need to plan we can just do whatever :)) and i’m trying not to be the annoying anal person so i’m like haha yeah :) *internally pulling my hair out and screaming* i miss my life on my own i miss my structure i miss not having to answer to anybody else . like i really don’t bc it’s so lonely but at least it’s not stressful to the point of me feeling like i’m on a battlefield
#also knowing i’m just gonna have to leave everybody again really hurts#and living with that ticking clock makes me really wanna maximize every second and know exactly what’s going on even more#but nobody else feels that way . at least not the extent that i do#so i feel like i’m ruining the vibe a lot so i really try not to show how stressed ‘vacation mode’ makes me#but . sometimes i just can’t hide it esp from people who know me so well#and they know this and try to be accommodating but i feel like nobody really gets it#so it’s not necessarily anybody’s fault i just feel like i’m wired so differently and not made for this life#and i hate making other people feel bad bc i’m feeling bad . but i’m literally in a constant state of stress to varying degrees for 4 weeks#straight#and it’s badddd#and then i feel like shit bc i’m wasting my limited time being upset about nothing#and then i’m more upset and the thing is just a spiral . i hate myself sm sometiems#like i really just need to get OVER IT
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Wow it's been literal years since I've posted but don't worry! It's also been years since I've made any art! ¯_(ツ)_/¯
I've been focusing exclusively on OCs anyway...... I don't feel confident enough to make fanart when surrounded by so many amazing artists everywhere! (No need to pep talk me, I know it's silly!!!) Fingers crossed I get it together eventually....
#just another OC#aren#erakur gyld#the quest crew#sketch#enjoy my most off model Aren possible#i should have used a reference on the skull but tbh it was a last second addition#i have a few more sketches and doodles posted to twitter#smth about the format makes it easier to post throwaway art vs here i feel i need more polished stuff#aren and erakur need a vacation#they'd probably enjoy kayaking#and museums for indigenous histories
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I'm finally taking a fucking vacation from my job next week
#I've never gotten the chance to use my vacation time at work before quitting#but Im not currently able to leave where I work and I'll lose my PTO on my anniversary date (sept 13th)#so I decided to say fuck it an use ut the first week of September#wish I could have saved it for the second week since my birthday is September 15th but again my PTO gets reset the 13th#so this will have to do#I'm not going on an actual vacation this year. just planning various enjoyable activities and day trips throughout the week#Im hoping on the first day to attend a local flea market#and the next day or two to go swimming before the pool in my apartment complex closes for the year#I also plan to visit a historical town thats about a half hour away from where I live#and I'm definitely going to sleep in a lot of these days cause I need to catch up on some sleep finally#I'll probably draw on my less busy days#and maybe I can knock out a chapter or 2 of the story I've been writing#tbh luck is never with me so the chances of me actually getting to do half of this stuff is slim#but at least I can say I have plans#I'm gonna try n do this stuff even if I have to go alone#I hate waiting around for others so I can go out and have a good time#like yeah some of these activities are better with other people#but people often find excuses to get out of hanging out or going places. or they're busy with work#and I don't want to waste the 7 days Im gonna have off so Im gonna try n do something meaningful during them#the weather also will effect how my plans turn out. I bet it'll rain the entire week lol. that'd be my luck#but Im still gonna try and have a decent time off#at the absolute least I am going to relax and unwind. thats the bare minimum I can doo#sam's rants about life
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omg seeing u react to go s2 makes me so excited/nervous for it i was OBSESSED with it a few years ago like genuinely crazy abt it... and now it is back....!!!! throwing up screaming, sobs, etc
I KNOW LITERALLY IM GOING INSANE good omens was my number one main obsession like 3-4 years ago i was so insane about it literally every waking moment i spent thinking about it the only reason that hasn't been apparent Here on tumblr is bc i got an account riiight as my obsession was fading a bit and went dormant but the brainrot is back and im going insane. literally i watched good omens s1 around 15 times in total i did a school project on it (part of which was a presentation i did a whole presentation. at school. about this show) it made me so crazy. and now WE'RE BACK BAYBEEEE so far i have avoided most spoilers but some ppl have said the ending hurts and so im scared. but i also eat tragedy up lol why else would my header image be a stsg gif DFKHDGKJD;LJKG AAAAUGH i love good omens.
#ocean asks#i took a break but now im back to watching👍i was making a salad for my lunches this week#HRGH#literally summer 4 yrs ago before i had a blog i would lurk on some artists and bloggers accounts that i liked (for his dark materials)#and i saw ppl posting about good omens. and i was like hm! that looks like something i'd enjoy#so i got the ebook on my ereader and my family went on vacation at that time#so i literally. read the book while we were on vacation and then the SECOND we got back i immediately binged it.#and then. i just kept rewatching it.#i was also on instagram and pinterest more at that time so i literally started following majority go fanartists on insta#and i looked at fanart and i read fanfiction and i lurked on more artists on tumblr and i literally just. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#ANYWAYS. i was so insane about this show and i can feel my hyperfixation warming right back up#sorry sorry i just need it to be known how insane i was over this bc i was VERY INSANE ABOUT THIS
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