#i have to take an exam but there cant be sound or people in the back so i kind of need her to stop

[settingorange]

What do you do when it is 10pm and your mom is scrubbing your bathtub (which she has already done multiple days in a row)

[nimnia]

k⚝ssing m⚝ sl⚝wly

▹ synopsis : after exam day, you and hanni decided to have some time together at your place- just dinner, snacks, and make-outs...

▹ genre : fluff, a bit suggestive

▹ a/n : im in love with hanni <3 she's so pretty, so beautiful, so cute, so nice, so kind, so caring, so small, so aesthetic, so cool, so captivating, so mesmerizing, so gorgeouskoawihdns i cant </3

› masterlist

when the bell finally rang, students instantly let out a variety of reactions as the exam period was finally finished. some groaned, some cheered, and others were thinking of their life decisions.

you were one of the people who groaned, burying your face on your hands as if you have already given up on everything. you just had three more essays to finish, but the bell had rang before you could even finish it completely.

"fuck exam, fuck this school, fuck everyon-" you cursed to yourself quietly, ruffling your hair everywhere before stopping yourself and releasing an exhausted sigh.

the professor walked around, collecting test papers while giving a look to each student she passed by. obviously, disappointment was all she gave to everyone, knowing just what their grades will be even if she didn't check it right away.

it reaches you. she takes your paper, a quick glance at your answers while you look up to her with an expectation pout, hoping to at least receive a good reaction from her.

unfortunately, you didn't get one. a shake of her head and a small sigh from her was all that took you burying your face on the table as she passed by you.

"bro.. this is so ridiculous."

you mumbled, before hearing footsteps approaching your way. you turn your head against the table to see your girlfriend smiling over you, and you can't help a small pout appearing on your lips.

"babe.." you whined, lifting your head and hugging her waist. hanni chuckles and strokes your head, "didn't get to finish the essays again, huh?" she teases, a small smirk over her pretty lips.

you pout even more, sulking. "i only finished seven of them because they were easy to answer, but those last three..." you huffed frustratedly, "damn essays.. damn these english subjects.. damn this school actually."

the sudden sound of a forced cough - clear throat - behind hanni, causing both of you to look and see the professor giving you a look before walking away with the papers on her arms.

you grimaced, knowing you got caught for cursing the school while hanni stifles her laughter before pulling you up by the hands. "come on, let's go home, baby!" she says as she helps you tidy your stuff up.

while she does, you groan and stretch your arms above your head. "this is gonna be the death of me, i fucking swear." you grumble to yourself, feeling an arm linking with yours.

hanni held up your bag to you, smiling as you took it and tightening your arm around hers. heading to the door, some of your classmates bid goodbye to both of you, which you grumpily wave and hanni giving them a happy wave at them.

walking together down the crowded corridor, you kept her close. "can i stay over your place again?" hanni asks, batting her eyes at you, wanting to get your approval.

you chuckle, "do you even need to ask? just come whenever. my parents aren't even at home until next year." you held back the irritation in your tone when you mentioned your parents, though your girlfriend seemed to notice it quickly.

she nodded, "then, i'm coming with you today, alright? maybe we can pick up some snacks too while heading to your place? orrr, do you want to buy dinner?" she asks, her steps becoming excited as both of you finally leave the school area.

you hum, a smile coating your lips. "why not both? dinner and midnight snacks would be great." you say as you send over a small wink at her, which she hits your shoulder.

"you are so wasting money right now." she rolled her eyes but eventually, you both headed straight to the convenience store.

─────

upon arriving at your place, hanni was quick to jump on your bed and fell flat. "ughh, test test test!" hanni shouts in frustration, punching your bed as you drag the small table near the end of the bed.

"babe, calm your tits down and let's eat!" you laugh as you start placing down the food you bought from the convenience store. it was a lot, but no one cares.

you ended up feeding your girlfriend who stayed on your bed upside down. her head resting on your shoulder as you rest your back on the end of your bed, watching the tv.

"what time is it?"

hanni asks, eyes closed as she chews on the food you gave her. you glanced at the small clock on the bottom of your tv, "it's almost 9 pm. you wanna head home later or stay here for the night? it's saturday tomorrow, by the way."

hanni cheers instantly, punching the air as you laugh out loud. "fuck yeah! no school! wait- no class on monday too, right?!" she asks, a bit loud but you didn't mind that.

you nodded with a large smile, watching as she cheers again.

"fuccckk yeahh~ i get to cuddle with you all day!" hanni giggles as she suddenly slides down to the floor and lands on your lap. you snort as she snuggles with you, burying her face onto your neck.

"huh?? you're planning to stay here until monday?" you jokingly question, hugging her small form against your body.

hanni nodded, "well, duh. i don't have anything else to do at home anyways~" you shake your head, an amused smile on your face. "as if. i'm betting that your mom will call you tomorrow."

she shakes her head, confidence in her face as she shifts to sit on your lap, facing you. you held her hips, smiling up at her while she rests her elbows on your shoulder, grinning down at you.

"yeah, yeah~ whatever." hanni hums flirty, placing one finger on your lip as she brushes them gently. your lips curls up into a small smile, half-lidded eyes gazing into hers.

the short girl stares at your plump lips, desiring to kiss them to the fullest. she turns her eyes to you, making eye-contact. "i wanna make out with you." she mutters, desire and affectionate in her voice sent chills.

instantly, your hands gently claws her back, just above her bottom. you open your mouth and bite her finger softly, eyes staying on hers still. the corner of her lips twitched.

"make out? why not, babe?" you whispered against her finger, slightly brushing it with your tongue. you caught a glimpse of her cheeks turning rosy, it made you giggle and pull her close to you directly.

you let go of her finger and bury your face onto her neck, inhaling her sweet scent. hanni wraps her arms around your neck, shifting on your lap to press her body even more against yours.

you groaned against her skin, hands wandered her back. "aw.. i forgot we're still wearing our uniforms." you pout, pulling away and fidgets on her brown cardigan.

hanni giggles and unbuttons her cardigan, but she doesn't remove it entirely. she smiles dazedly, "remove it for me, baby." her voice was as sweet as honey, warm as the sun and ticklish as the feather in your ears.

it rang bells in your chest.

you chuckles lightly, hands sneaking on her shoulder and slowly pulls them from her. as you throw them away, you tug her white polo uniform, "this too?" you mumbles, lazy smile on your face.

the aussie nodded slowly, lips parts a bit as she watches your beautiful hands unbuttoning her polo. it was a good thing that she was wearing white thin tops underneath her polo, though every touch of yours still managed to send shivers down her skin.

with the last button off, you leaned to place sweet kisses on her collarbone. your hands sneaked around her waist, removing her polo in the process as you continued to kiss her skin gently and fondly.

butterflies swarm in her stomach, her ears burning hot as her breath hitched in every kiss you place. it felt good, so good. her polo drops next to you, and you squeezed her side as you nibbles on her collarbone, your most favorite place to kiss.

"y/n.. damn it.." hanni whimpers, pressing her front against yours as she hugs your neck, loving your kisses and your touch. it feels so good, she felt like she was being blessed by an angel in every inch of her body.

straddling you, you kept her so close and hot. you gently clawed her back, pulling her even more close as you placed kisses under her jaws. "you're so beautiful, my love... so sweet.."

hanni softly whimpers, hands tremble in gentle pleasure just with a kiss from you. she chants your name like a prayer, demanding more. your breath quivers as she pressed her body onto you, and you felt every warmth from her body.

you feel like losing your mind.

"my sweet angel.." you cry in her neck, kisses to kisses and bites to nibbles. she curses under her breath, rolling her hips against yours but you keep her still. she whines.

she was about to call your name, but you pulled back and buried your mouth into hers. devouring her lips, it was all yours. it was yours to taste, yours to feel and yours to claim.

tongue brushes each other, it felt like they were meeting the first time. shy, but you were confident. you moved your mouth with hers in sync, tilting your heads together to get more of each other's taste and warmth.

hanni was losing her mind completely, melting against you. endless soft moans and whimpers never stopped escaping her pretty lips, your hands tugged her hair made it worsen.

"fuck.. baby, more pl'ase.." she mumbles against your mouth, feeling the sweat coating her skin but you kept it warmth. your other hand never stopped squeezing her side and sneaking under her top.

at this point, hanni was the one pressing on you against the end of your bed. your head rested on the sheet while she continues to devour your lips, just like how you did on hers.

she was good. too good, actually. it made you feel hotter than staying under the sun. you chuckles against her lips, tongue exploring her mouth until she moans again.

"fuck.. sorry, han.." you groan, pulling her even closer as you couldn't get any taste of her. you want to go further, but you kept it minimal... maybe not, but just like this, making out and kissing is enough.

it's crazy to think about it. you and hanni have been together for 8 months, and you couldn't get enough of each other. you always long for her, and she yearns so much of you. every touch always sends chills down her body.

you were still in high school, so it's obvious that your hormones are acting up. that's why you didn't take it to the next level, and had to keep this kissing era up for a little longer.

because you promised to marry her once you and hanni are done with college.

hanni was moved by that confession weeks ago. even though the future is uncertain, hanni knew she will marry you as well in the future. she will keep that sincere promise to her heart, and hold it until the end.

for now, she wants more of your lips, your touch and your warmth.

she removes your polo, leaving you in your bra. you yelp in surprise while hanni gasps in shock, "hold on- you're not wearing anything else under your polo?!" she couldn't take her eyes off your chest however..

you laugh, "i don't have anything like yours, babe! besides, we're wearing cardigans anyways— it's not like anyone's gonna see it," you said teasingly, though it's a fact.

hanni pouts, hands on your shoulder, above your bra's stripe. "what if someone accidentally pulls your polo and your buttons come undone?! my god, they're gonna get flashed by this beautiful boo-"

she chokes in her saliva when you push her face away that was inching close to your chest. your face was covered in red, "fuck you! don't finish that sentence!" you pout in embarrassment.

but hanni laughs and kisses you gently, swaying you with her lips. "i'm sorry, baby! i just want you to wear something under the polo next time okay??" she makes sure, pinching your rosy cheeks, causing your cheeks to puff out.

"omkeu-" you tried.

hanni giggles and kisses you again, deep and passionately. her hands gently rub your exposed shoulder, loving every shudder your body makes. when her hands sneak to your waist and squeezes them like you did to hers, you let out a soft moan against her lips.

she giggles sweetly, biting your lower lips before burying her mouth onto yours. you were out of breath, your hands clawing her back, but it didn't hurt her at all. your legs were already trembling in gentle pleasure, burning underneath her body.

"you taste so good, baby.." hanni breathes out softly against your lips after pulling away but keeping her distance close. she could taste the chocolate you were eating a while ago, and it was her favorite one.

"i love you.. love you so much, yeah?" she mumbles, love and affectionate in her voice. need and desires in her tone. and her eyes full of love for you melts you to no end.

you pecked her swollen, red lips, smiling against her skin. "i love you too, hanni.." you mumbled back, chest felt so warm with her presence only. everything about her is so perfect.

the way she kisses you slowly but so needy.. it was pure perfection.

[cat-autism-wizard]

five times danny's english class learned that he was phantom (and one time he had to reveal it)

2- paulina & star

paulina and star became inseparable at the start of the highschool. they talked about everything and anything. ever since phantom started to protect amity park they both admired him. paulina even had a crush on him only for her to realize it was just a comphet crush. when phantom saved paulina she noticed something about him. they way he talked was familiar.

she brought this up with star on one of their everyday gossip session. star never really noticed anything but promised to try to catch it.

star loved languages and how people talked. everyone had their own individual way to speak, putting emphasis on certain words and taking different times to breathe. she loved hearing everyones differences. and she would always info dump to paulina. hearing star talk too much about the differences between everyone's way of talking paulina also started to notice it. and hearing a familiar way of speaking from phantom was a weird experience.

paulina told star about the familiarity but couldnt understand why and they laughed mostly. still it did piqued star's interest.

next time star was on the attack range was on the park rather than in the school. phantom was fighting a ghost with a motorcycle and his shadow. star gave in to her curiosity as she hid behind a tree and listened to the fight.

"wheres kitty? did she dump your sorry ass again?" phantom asked with too much sass.

"no, we're going really steady right now. i even thinking about getting her some roses after i kick your ass." the ghost said and shadow attacked phantom.

"dude get her her favorite flowers to show that you care. roses are a safe option but favorite flowers are so much personal." phantom grunted out as he defended himself from shadow. johnny looked at him confused but he looked like he was considering what he said.

"i have a sister remember? i pick up a thing or two." johnny agreed and attacked him right after shadow.

star knew she heard enough to understand the speech pattern.

in the evening she called paulina to tell her what she gathered and what she heard from phantom. they laughed about it and continued to talk about other things. they didnt really pay it too much mind. they just thought it was cool to have that familiar feeling with a hero.

next day at school the first class was english. star sighed as she entered the classroom about five minutes earlier than mr lancer. dont get her wrong, english was her favorite class but as a first class? it was like a lullaby that was sang for them to fall back to sleep.

she sat next to paulina with a smile. paulina looked energetic even in the morning. star envied paulina. she always had energy. maybe it was the cheerleading but star knew even though herself was also more energetic than most people she still felt dull next paulina.

"you seem happy" star stated.

"how can i not be? after our talk last night i went online and bought that eyeliner you told me about. i cant wait for it to be delivered." paulina squealed. they talked about everything and anything until mr. lancer came.

"good morning kids. i hope everyone get enough sleep because i dont want anyone to fall asleep. your exams are close and today we'll get through the most important-" mr. lancer was cut by the late student.

"im so sorry mr. lancer."

star didnt have to look who it was to know that speech pattern. it surprised star to hear phantom and not any squeals though.

"let me guess mr. fenton. overslept?"

wait a minute. what? she turned to the source of the sound.

what.

after an awkward chuckle danny walked to his desk and sat quietly.

WHAT.

"as i was saying before being interrupted. this lesson is important-" star stopped listening. she was only thinking about the speech patterns. she was sure of it. danny and phantom had the exact same pattern. but that was impossible right? she was wrong. she had to be.

after the bell rang star was still going through phantom's pattern in her mind. she had to be wrong. she probably heard fenton wrong, yeah that must be it. then she heard him again.

"im going insane. jazz wont leave me alone about my 'trauma through neglectful parents'. as if she is not my sister." danny vented to his friends, maybe too loud for his taste.

star's eyes widened. she didnt hear wrong. even the words were the same.

"paulina" she said shocked. paulina turned her attention to her.

"are you okay? you look like youve seen a ghost." paulina asked her best friend with concern.

"technically i may have." she mumbled close to a whisper. before paulina could pester her, star dragged paulina from the arm to the bathroom. star checked the bathroom booth before talking.

"star whats happening? im getting nervous."

"ive heard him. and im so sure, it sounds crazy but i am sure and honestly it makes so much sense now that im thinking." paulina looked at her with confusion. moved her hands like she was saying 'elaborate'.

"okay so you know how yesterday we talked about phantom. i heard him." paulina's eyes widened.

"what? who? is he in our class?"

"yes, its fenton." star exclaimed earning a dissapointed look.

"you sound like wes." paulina stated unimpressed.

"first of all, OUCH. second, do you really think i would lie to you about speech patterns? third, OUCH how dare you" star said slightly offended. paulina looked like she was considering something then her eyes widened again.

"holy shit."

"yeah!! so what do we do?" star asked for their next step.

"nothing." paulina sounded more sure than ever.

"what?"

"we tell no one. we do nothing. i dont trust GIW nor do i know his parents that well. i dont like fenton that much but as phantom he protected all of us more than those nosy ghost hunter wannabes." paulina explained earning a nod from star.

"still we're going to distract people more so he can go his ghost things right?"

"oh yeah sure. he may not be lucky all the time."

both girls decided protect phantom in their own ways. whenever there was an attack they would scream loud so the attention would be on them and not on danny. they would distract everyone whenever wes made sense a little.

1 2 3 4 5 +1

[chaotickryptonitetree]

ode to the maybes that make up the good stuff (us) | trent frederic

hes so underrated and I needed a reader who wasn't a genius (because I cant relate to smart people and why is the reader always smart??).

You were running late. 

And it–sort of–wasn’t your fault? 

Okay, it was your fault for oversleeping. But then your exam ran over the allotted time (they hadn’t even been passed out when you stumbled into the lecture hall, panting from sprinting from your parking spot, still blinking sleep from your eyes). And then your row was the last row to be dismissed. And yeah, it wasn’t really your fault. 

Speed-walking back to your car, you weighed your options. Your meeting would take you 20 minutes to get to with the mid-day traffic. And it was the kind of event where it was no use showing up late–might be better to just not show up at all. 

And then you passed your favorite coffee shop, and the wheel practically turned into the parking lot itself. Your boss would understand about the final and you could get notes from someone else later. Finishing that class called for a break–and as you turned off the ignition, you allowed yourself your first deep breath all morning. 

The perfect cure to a hectic morning was a fresh start and an almond-milk latte. 

The bell jangled as you opened the door–hit with the familiar smell of roasting beans and gingerbread muffins in the oven. Your exhale was cathartic. 

“Hey, welcome in!” The barista greeted you as you stood in the doorway, walking to join the line. For a random weekday, it was quite busy. You gave your order to the barista politely and walked to the only empty table left. 

You criss-crossed your legs in the booth, pulling out a book from your bag. Time–only interrupted by a swift hand placing a drink on your table and walking back to the counter–warped as your turned pages, eager to escape the craziness of the morning and happy to have a medium in which to do so. 

Sunlight streamed through the windows, illuminating small flecks of dust in the air. Condensation dripped down the side of your glass, collecting in a ring on the wooden table. The only noise to fill your space was the crisp turning of pages and background chatter filling in the blanks. 

Until it wasn’t.

“Excuse me,” said so quietly you thought you had misheard, you didn’t look up until someone cleared their throat. “Hey.” 

You looked up, squinting slightly from the sun. There was, in fact, the shadow of a very tall person standing near the edge of your table. Trying not to let your disappointment show, you dog-eared the page and closed the book gently. The background chatter roared on as you set your head on your hand, looking up at the voice from before. His face was still skewed by the harshness of the sunlight through the windows. 

“Sorry–didn’t hear ya…can I help you?” you spoke slowly, evenly to the faceless man. He coughed again, pausing too long to be normal given the circumstances. 

“Um, yeah…no, that’s alright!” He answered awkwardly. He then seemed to realize that he hadn’t truly answered the question and sighed. “Was wondering if I could share this table with you?” He seemed to be nervous about your response so he quickly spoke again. “You’re the only one with a spare seat.” 

Luckily, you were in a good mood and didn’t have any emotional attachment to the other side of the booth. “Go for it,” you said with the wave of a hand. “I don’t mind at all.” 

You could feel his smile in his exhale. “Really?” His voice was light and relieved, even as he sat down and moved his bag inside the booth before he slid in. You hummed in response, turning back to your book, head in hand. He respected your quiet, and the sound of him pulling notebooks and pens from his bag faded to background noise as you fell back into your chapter. 

And yet again, a drink being set down disturbed the peace. Your head flitted up, clocking the barista setting down a cold brew in front of the boy across from you. 

And then you got a good look at the boy across from you. 

He was big. Like big enough where you could see every muscle indented in his long sleeve shirt (not that you were staring or anything). A pretty blush painted his cheeks daintily, full mouth quirked to the side as he fiddled with the straw wrapper. Big, brown eyes met yours and widened when he realized you were already looking at him. 

“What?” he asked softly, plunging the straw into the drink and swirling slowly–ice clinking against the glass. 

“Nothing,” you closed your book again, shrugging slightly. “I just didn’t realize that you were handsome.” His blush deepened, creeping up his neck and to the tops of his ears. 

“Oh,” he fidgeted with his hands–which were easily the size of his face–”I wasn’t expecting you to say that.” 

You leaned into your hands more, endeared by his sudden shyness. “Well, it’s true.” You smiled as he tried to keep eye contact. “What’s your name, handsome?” 

He bit his lip, cracking his knuckles nervously. “Don’t wanna tell ya.” 

“And why is that?” You cocked an eyebrow. 

He smiled–a little less shy, eyes like amber in the sunlight. “So then you’ll have to keep calling me handsome.” 

You laughed into your palm. “I’ll call you pretty regardless, promise,” you held your pinkie out as a mocking gesture, “just tell me.” 

“Trent,” he wiped his hands on his sweatshirt and wrapped his pinkie around yours, “that’s me, I mean–yeah, my name.” He didn’t let go before you did, introducing yourself softly with a smirk. He felt like had a certain warmth–a comfort–wrapped around him like the blanket on your childhood bed. He felt kind.

The best beginnings always begin with that–a kindness. 

…

The next time you saw him, you were embarrassed. Your advisor had suggested that you enroll in a supplemental class during the night after a particularly hard semester academically–and as much as it hurt your ego, not going would hurt it more. 

So, you went to the class, despite feeling stupid. Eager to make yourself small, you chose a seat in the back corner, hood up as you got out your supplies. Maybe no one would recognize you, maybe you’d just be able to take the class and then slip out the door when it was over. No harm, no foul. 

But of course you could never be so lucky. Your eyes darted to the door just as he walked in–as sturdy and solid as ever. His backpack straps fought to keep the muscles of his shoulders and neck contained. The indentations of his triceps made his long sleeve flutter around him. 

And you were definitely staring–for much too long, you guessed–because your gaze drew his attention to your corner. His eyes smiled before his mouth as he made his way over to you. He looked–relieved?

“Thank god,” he sighed as he slid into the chair next to yours. “You’re here.” You searched his face for any sign that he was teasing, making fun of you in any way. At all. 

But you couldn’t find it. Still, you were tentative. “Yeah.” Really awesome conversation starter. He didn’t seem to mind. 

“I was scared that I wouldn’t see you again,” he pulled out his glasses and opened up his laptop–the light reflecting off of the lens artificially, “lucky me.” 

You opened your mouth to say something but were interrupted by the professor introducing themselves and projecting the syllabus. You turned toward the front and tried to tune in. 

But it was hard. Not because the class itself was going to be a challenge–it was only supplemental after all–because he was distracting. 

Distracting you with how cute his rosy cheeks looked under his glasses. How he mouthed words after the professor said them before writing them in his notes. How he nodded his head and actually paid attention the entire time. He was just trying hard. 

And it was alarming how endearing you found that. So, yeah, you half listened for the lecture–but it was intro stuff anyways. As you packed up your back, he let out an exhale and let you out to the door first, holding it open with his wide palm. 

“So, what do you think?” He asked, matching your pace as you walked to the parking lot. It was dark–and far colder than when you had entered the building a few hours earlier. 

“Hmm?” You hadn’t quite heard him–too busy watching him push his glasses up into his hair, making it stick up arbitrarily all around his head. He smiled a sideways little smile. 

“What do you think of the class?” 

“Oh,” and you were embarrassed again, “it’ll be fine. I could use a GPA boost,” you admitted. He nodded, even though you could guess he couldn’t relate. 

“I’m sure you’ll do great,” he said, even though he didn’t know you, “you’re smart.” 

You pinched your face together. “You don’t know that.” 

He smiled, shoving his shoulder into yours good-naturedly. “Yeah I do,” he was closer in your space now, “can tell by the way you talk.” 

You looked up at him–not convinced–but he was already looking ahead. “Which car is yours?” 

Nodding toward your car, parked away from all the others, he cracked his knuckles. “Cool, I’ll walk you there.” 

“Oh please,” you scoffed, “I’ll give you a ride, but only because you’re being so cute tonight” He smiled–like he knew you’d ask. 

“I bet you say that to all the boys.” He waited for you to unlock the car. 

His face was blushy from compliments and the cold. “Only the cute ones,” you said as you stepped into the car. He shook his head. 

…

Laundry day in a college dorm just might be the 5th circle of hell. Every machine is taken, none of them work right, and there’s always someone who dumps clothes on the ground–essentially making the room itself a battlefield. 

But at 2am on a Tuesday night–it was peaceful. Sure, there were still the clothes littering the ground like an overgrown garden, but the scent of fabric softener seemed to soften the air around you; low tumble of the machines a gentle lullaby as the campus stilled around you. 

Sitting atop the washing machine you were using, you waited for the cycle to be done. Stars interfered with the inky-black sky as it shone through the windows. And you watched. At this hour, there were no expectations, nothing to do, no one to impress. Just the silence around you. 

And then the door opened. And of course it was him. 

Hidden behind a large basket of clothes, looking adorably soft and sleepy in pajama pants, was Trent (again!). He didn’t seem to notice you as he sorted his clothes–large hands deft and meticulously parting darks and lights. You just watched. 

“Hey handsome.” You said softly as he stood to his full height, slightly startled. But once he realized it was you, he let out a relieved sigh and walked to stand across from you, leaning back on to the row of dryers. 

“Late night?” He spoke lowly, even if there was no need to whisper. As if he was cautious about disturbing the peace. 

You shrugged, pulling your legs into your chest atop the machine and wrapping your arms around them. “I like it,” you said honestly, “it’s the only time I get all to myself.” 

He nodded in a way that made you think he understood. “What did you do today?” You asked, eager to keep him there. 

He thought for a moment, looking slightly upward. Then told you all about his classes (they are interesting, but demanding), practice (just a light skate, they have a game tomorrow), and homework (he has a quiz in a few days). And you nodded, interested in anything he had to say. 

You switched over your laundry as you listened to him, adding in dryer sheets and humming accordingly. It struck you that each time you spoke to him, it felt easy. You picked up right where you left off, like you were old friends. It made you smile to yourself. 

“Whatcha thinkin about?” He interrupted your train of thought. Your eyes flitted up to his, sideways smirk gracing your lips. 

“You,” you answered honestly, knowing that it would make him blush more. He rubbed his eye and tried to hide his delight. 

“Yeah, yeah,” he rolled his eyes playfully. But when you just kept looking at him, greedily, just because you knew he’d let you, he paused–a spark of hope lighting up his face. “Really?” His voice came out small. 

You tilted your head, nodding slowly. “Yeah.” He smiled like he knew something you didn’t. He probably did. “Will you tell me a secret?” You asked as he folded his clothes carefully. 

He thought for a moment, as if any sudden words would break the bubble around you both. “I did laundry yesterday,” he admitted, making you smile a wide, genuine grin, “just saw you in here and wanted an excuse to come in.” His blush was a splotchy watercolor painting his tired face. “Now you tell me one.” 

You pretended to think hard, emboldened by his admission. “I love it when you blush,” you said, “but I don’t think I’m doing a good job of keeping that a secret.” He shook his head, folding his last sweatshirt into his basket. 

“You can’t just say things like that,” he laughed lightly, eyes bright. 

“And why not?” You smiled as he stepped closer, close enough for you to see the freckles on his nose. Right in front of the dryer which you sat on. “It’s true.” 

Everything about him was soft. He smelled like he had just showered, and up close you could notice how his hair was still damp at the root. “Because,” he took a gentle thumb to your cheek, showing you the eyelash he had picked up. “It’ll ruin my tough guy reputation,” he flicked it off to the ground. You shivered at the loss of contact–however fleeting it was. “The guys are already giving me shit for how much I talk about the cute girl from the coffee shop.” 

You smiled. “You talk about me to your friends?” Was he getting even closer? 

He couldn’t break eye contact with you if he tried, nodding. “Can I tell you another secret?” You asked gently. He nodded again. “I have a crush on this really cute guy.” He laughed, shutting his eyes and letting his forehead rest on your shoulder. He practically radiated heat. 

“Oh great,” he smiled into the crook of your neck, “and I’m just supposed to go on with my night after this? Like a normal person?” 

You laughed with him and brought a hand to the nape of his neck, running your fingers through his half-damp hair. “How will you manage?” You joked, voice careful. 

He didn’t answer. And there you sat–atop a still warm dryer like the queen of the night, running your fingers through his hair until his arms wrapped around your back in perhaps the gentlest hug you could manage. You let your breathing slow to match his. You forgot what time it was, about your clothes. 

And when he held you like something soft and good, it didn’t really matter–did it? 

…

The stress of night class quickly melted into an excuse to see him two times a week (at least). You’d always get there first–and maybe you’d have an extra energy drink, just because–and then he’d stumble in a few minutes later, making a beeline for your designated corner (wearing his glasses if you were lucky). 

You set down his energy drink in front of him as he unpacked his bag. His eyes darted up to clock the motion before he smiled a sideways smile. “Sweet of you,” he said softly, still bent over his bag. “Thank you,” he added, settling in his seat. 

Nodding, you turned to the front–ready to dial in to the lecture. And you did! For a few minutes, before a notification popped up in the corner of your computer–an email in your school inbox. Switching tabs, you opened the email from an unknown sender. 

Really cute girl next to me. Pretty nervous. Should I make a move?? -T

Smiling to yourself, you immediately typed out a response. 

not sure…heard she usually goes for defensemen. 

A response came a moment later, his shoulder shaking slightly with a laugh. 

If i can beat one in a fight does that count? 

Electing to close out of your email, you settled for moving your chair a little closer to him, rubbing his shoulder soothingly over his sweatshirt. 

“I think you should make a move,” you whispered in his ear, reaching to take a sip of his drink. He leaned back into your touch, tilting his head down to respond. 

“Do ya?” His voice was low, eyes flickering down to your lips for just a second. You nodded, removing your hand from his shoulder. 

“Yeah pretty,” his eyes didn’t leave your mouth, “I really do.” 

But you could wait. And so you did. 

…

When he came back from away games, he was usually tired. And it was late anyways–maybe 11:30? But you were up writing an essay that was due in a few days. Your phone buzzed on the pillow near you. 

Any chance you’re still awake? 

You smiled to yourself, leaning back on the headboard and putting your laptop to the side. 

of course, you answered, paper due soon.

And then a moment later–but could be convinced to take a break??

Three gray dots appeared and then disappeared before his response. 

Was hoping you’d say that. 

And then–Be there soon. 

You smiled, continuing with your paper until a soft knock rapped on the door. 

“Come in!” Your voice was still hushed due to the late hour. He opened and closed the door softly, placing his backpack against the wall and slipping off his shoes. Wasting no time, he slid next to where you sat at the head of the bed, knee knocking against yours. You leaned into his side slightly, loving how warm he was. 

“How’s the paper?” He put his head on top on yours, looking at your computer above you. You didn’t answer, instead typing “eh,,,how was game?” into your document. He laughed, lips brushing against your hair. “Good. Got into a little fight.” He flexed his hand in front of you, knuckles raised and red. You ran a finger over the little cuts (he didn’t flinch) and wrapped both hands around one of his, rubbing your thumb over the veins on the back of his hand. 

He sighed, making you smile. “You should see the other guy?” You questioned, hoping he won whatever scrum he had likely started. 

He nodded slowly against your head, watching your hands work around his. “You should see the other guy,” he confirmed. And there you sat, comfortable and sleepy with a human furnace beside you. He smelled like green apples and a fireplace that had just burned through the kindling. He was cozy–everything about him. You turned just slightly, nose brushing the column of his throat. He shivered. 

“I love spending time with you,” he admitted, embarrassed and not making eye contact with you–as if meeting your eyes would cause the tips of his ears to catch fire. You hummed against his neck, slightly damp from his shower. “You make me laugh and you’re really pretty and it makes me happy when you make time for me,” he rambled on, stuttering slightly. 

“Yeah?” Your lips brushed his throat, prompting an embarrassing, whiny whimper from him. He looked up, giving you more space (even if he didn’t mean to). 

“Yeah,” his voice was small. 

You smiled into his neck, kissing the hollow of his throat, lips feather-light. “Well I like how smart you are,” you moved up, kissing just below his ear. “How kind you are to me,” his jawline, “how you blush when you’re embarrassed,” as if on cue, his ears lit up further. “Yup,” you kissed his ear, “just like that.” 

You felt his breathing labor next to you–chest rising and falling quicker than before. Fixated on your mouth, he started to reply. 

“Well I like–” and that’s as far as he made it before leaning in and gripping the back of your neck, pulling your lips to his in a kiss that burned. 

His lips were slightly chapped, and your teeth knocked into his, but the grip his massive hands had on your face made you lean closer to him–too enamored to care. Smiling against his mouth, you swallowed the groan leaving him eagerly. His hand slid to your jawline keeping you close to him. 

As if you’d ever leave. You placed another light kiss to the corner of his mouth as he caught his breath. 

“About time, eh?” He smiled down at you, eyes dark and bright. You brought his knuckle to your mouth–as if your lips would make the bruises disappear. His eyes fluttered shut for a moment. 

“We got there,” you laughed lightly. “Worth the wait, right, handsome?” He ran a thumb over your cheekbone–always so gentle. 

He just snuggled up next to you and let his body get heavy next to yours. You felt him smile next to you. Some questions didn’t need answers. His slowed breathing as he fell asleep next to you was answer enough.

...

love you!

[miowritings]

can i request an akito fic where reader is a new member and quite shy so she dosent interact much? so akito would think they’re useless ? but they actually have a really soft voice and cute personality >.<

꧁“𝐍𝐞𝐰𝐛𝐢𝐞”꧂

Akito shinonome x shy!gn! Reader

✮A/N: HIHI so sorry i took long to finish your request😭 im very inactive on all my platforms cause im focusing on my life rn and exams are coming up, nevertheless hope you enjoy<33

✮Synopsis: you, a shy new member, impress akito with the song you made!

✮Contains: slight ooc?, Not proofread,akito here is slightly judgmental?

Akito wasnt... That fond of you,not that he hated you or anything, he wasnt.. used to you, you could tell, when he made music, he'd give you the most simplest lines, or the shortest.. not that youre complaining, you just wanted more!

nevertheless, the group would still care and try to make you feel at home, they would call you by your first name or a nickname, tell some jokes, tease you, and anything as long as you feel happy around them

all changed until you decided to make music, all on your own, ofcourse with the help of friends but it was mostly you! And after weeks of making, you wanted to let the group have a listen!

the group was astonished when they heard the beat.. it was strong and intense, they were surprised when you were the one making the beats and tunes, you were so shy that its unlikely of someone to make music as intense as this

"y-you made this..? Oh wow! I wouldnt have expected that you could make songs like this.." Kohane smiled, An happily listened, while Toya and akito listened close

"This could work for this new gig... I remember Kotaro saying that the people who were attending had hardcore-ish vibes.. not that i know what he meant" Toya spoke up, an and kohane nodded in agreement. "This sounds.. pleasant.. right, lets use this.." he says, now looking at you.

weeks passed and you were finally able to make the lyrics with the help of Kohane, now was to split the lyrics

"hm.. y/n, can you try singing this part? Im confused if you or Kohane should sing this.." an asked, looking awkward.. "oh, nono, y/n can take this part.. they made the music, ofcourse they should have more lines" she says playfully, making you giggle

"hm.. okay" An nodded, now looking at you, she gave you a small nod, indicating that you could start singing... Honestly, the way an and akito practices feels like having to audition to be in an idol band..

you cleared your throat and started singing, that when Akito finally took you seriously, he puts his things down and listened.. you voice was.. adorable.. soothing..nice? He couldnt tell, after all, your voice is amazing and that he had a hard time describing it, once you were finished, all of them gave you a big round of applause, including akito, which made you feel.. fuzzy after all, it wasnt always that he'd cheer for you.

Once the sun was setting, the environment got darker, kohane left first, then toya, then an, it was just you and akito both..

Before you could keave, akito stopped you, grabbing you lightly by the shoulder. "Hey.. uh.. just wanted to say that.. your voice sounds nice.. please, keep up the good work y/n" he gave you a genuine smile, you nodded to reply "o-ofcourse.! I'll keep practicing til i physically cant!" You blurted out "oh? Haha, please dont.." he replied, sounding concerened, but quickly hiding it. "Wanna walk home with me? My House isnt that far from here" he asked you nodded and followed him through the exit. "Sure, i'd love too..!"

[bridgyrose]

Weiss sank her sharp teeth into the roasted chicken that Ruby had brought for her, a small moan leaving her lips as her tail wagged. She savored the taste with each bite while trying to keep herself from tearing into it as her instincts wanted. “This is better than what I’ve had in months!” 

“What do you normally eat then?” Ruby asked as she sat down next to Weiss. 

“Rabbits, deer… and sometimes when I’m close enough to a village I’ll trade favors for food. Stuff like doing chores for people or killing grimm.” 

“Then why not stay closer to the villages? Sounds like you get a good deal out of it.” 

“Because I’m a monster as far as any of them are concerned.” Weiss took another ravenous bite of her chicken. “And besides, its hard to keep myself looking human enough to not draw attention to me being a werewolf.” 

Ruby nodded and watched Weiss. “So how exactly did you get like”- she motioned her hands around Weiss- “like this?” 

Weiss paused mid bite as she looked at Ruby. She slowly lowered her chicken and sighed as she pulled up a sleeve to show the scarred bite mark. “It… was a training accident. No one knew that one of the students I was training with was a wolf and… well… you saw how I reacted to getting touched by a little silver. I’m sure you can imagine what would happen if I’m struck with it.” 

“Training… were you training to be a huntress?” 

“I was. Father didnt like it, but it felt like the right path for me at the time. But after I was bit and shifted the following full moon, I ran away from home. I tried to go back a couple years after to take the exam to get into one of the academies, but there ended up being another full moon the night before and… well… I ended up attacking someone.” 

“I’m sorry,” Ruby said quietly. “How… how long have you been on your own then?” 

“About ten years.” Weiss went back to eating her chicken, practically crunching on the bones. “Long enough for me to take up my own training and work on my own.” 

“Must be rough.” 

Weiss shrugged and finished off the chicken she’d been given. She licked her lips and took a deep breath to try to focus on her human form, feeling her ears and tail disappear for the moment. Even after years of trying to pass as human, the form still felt foreign to her. And yet, it still felt more comfortable to be in around Ruby. Not that she ever felt uncomfortable around her in the hours since they first met. 

A small blush crossed her cheeks as she thought a bit more about Ruby. The girl was easy to talk to, didnt seem to be scared of her being a wolf, and cute to top it all off. “What about you? Did you train to be a huntress?” 

“I did,” Ruby answered. “Everyone in my family trained to be a huntsman. My sister and I attended Beacon together, though she went off with her girlfriend after we graduated. My mom and dad were on the same team too when they were in training, and the stories he told me of her made me want to be the huntress I am today.” 

“You do realize that means hunting down monsters like me, right?” 

“Well, yes, but… monsters like you are still people. You deserve to live a peaceful life, even if it means you cant be near the kingdoms.” 

Weiss smiled a bit and looked away from Ruby as her blush started to fade. “If only others could be like you. But the reality is that nobody wants anything that resembles a monster or a grimm nearby. And even if people were okay with me here, it wouldnt matter once the full moon came around. I… I still lose control.” 

“Then why not stay here with me until you have control?” 

Weiss went quiet as she looked over at Ruby again, not quite sure what to think. It’d be nice to have a place to call home, even if it’d only be for a while. But the thought of sharing a home with Ruby, staying with someone as kind as her… 

Her blush came back as she looked away, voice cracking briefly as she spoke. “I-I couldnt… I might hurt you on the full moon or bring people to you that might want to hurt you for taking me in-” 

“It’ll be fine,” Ruby said with a smile, offering a hand to Weiss. “I have a cabin in Patch that we can stay at. Far enough away from people that you wont be bothered and there’s plenty of space so when the full moon comes around, you can keep your distance if you’re that worried.” 

Weiss slowly reached for Ruby’s hand, tempted by the offer. A place to finally call home. A place she could finally be at peace and left alone for a few months. And yet, she couldnt find it in her to take Ruby’s hand, to take the offer that she was given. She slowly pulled her hand away, almost lingering until clutched her cloak. “I-I want to, but I cant.” 

“I dont understand. You could finally have the peace you want-” 

“And all I’d do is hurt you.” Weiss closed her cloak and pulled the hood over. “I should go. I wouldnt want you to get in trouble for being with me.” 

Ruby reached out to Weiss. “W-wait! Weiss!” 

Weiss pulled away as she felt Ruby’s fingers brush against her shoulder, her body freezing for just a moment as she took a quick look back at Ruby before running off into the woods. She felt her heart race the further she went, a few tears running down her cheeks at the thought of avoiding Ruby. But if it was the only way to keep her safe, then so be it. 

She’d avoid Ruby for as long as she’d need.

Prev

[silantryoo]

as much as im annoyed by the potential implications of the mhj/hybe drama i do feel like theres way too much speculation rn ... rlly doesn't sit so well with me that everyone is bashing on mhj alone (im not supporting her either though) and not bang sihyuk too. some hybe stans rlly js worship the guy and idk why . its not like he's innocent too. like those texts from him are so annoying too. abt if she's satisfied that nwjns is so popular and also abt trying to rival aespa / bp alone ...

hybe has sm power and r known for their mediaplay so i rlly do wish people would keep that in mind instead of doing their own speculation to bash on mhj . we don't know fs if she's the reason behind seunghan, youngseo, etc .... it seems so forced that everyone just collectively is making stuff up on their own theories and pissing on her. like im all for it when everything's done with but it's giving misogyny to me ughhh idk how to explain it eitherr without sounding like a mhj stan I PROMISE IM NOT TAKING HER SIDE T_T i just cant help but feel like poeple find it easier to hate and bash on women sometimes. even me scrolling x nowadays feels so annoying. literally feel so bad for illit and nwjns rn.

personally i was a teeny annoyed that illit had a similar image to nwjns w their nostalgia/coquettecore (also though just seems like cute/youthful concept is making a cb in general in kpop) but only because their songs on super real me were the exact type of songs i liked most from nwjns (super shy, hurt etc. the softer less peppy songs compared to hybe boy) so it bothered me that there was an implication that nwjns might be forced to distance itself to a more differing concept to keep some contrast btwn the two ... but ik that's not illit's fault at all (literally love the girls sm im a runext fan ^^) i feel like i can understand the upset that illit was getting a similar concept when every other grp before illit in hybe had more defined concepts seperating each other. but once again that's all hybe's doing ...... seeing the choreographers supporting mhj too makes it seem like not even the nwjns team or even all the staff were on board with the references in the choreo either...

anyways i do hope this controversy doesnt impede on either grps promos :( and i rlly hope everything gets sorted out... im srsly hoping this doesnt turn into a 5050 situtation again but with nwjns i was so upset when that happened . was curious on what your thoughts were or if u were keeping up with everything?

the way im coming back to reply to this first thing after my exams is insane, but this nwjns thing makes me so angry for all the idols under hybe. both parties j cares sm ab money that they're blindsided by the potential of ruining their idols careers, mental health and images. mhj is being stupid and hybe does seem to be doing anything to protect nwjns (as far as we know. i could be wrong).

(yawl, jsyk i obv dont have ALL the information. from what ive seen online and the articles ive read, this is what I THINK. ME. youre free to think smthn else, whether i agree or not.)

i def thing that bang hyung sik (bhs) isn't innocent either. although min heejin (mhj), in my opinion, is more in the wrong j based on the treatment of other idols, bhs seemed to provoke her, and on top of that, the company seems to blindly support ppl and give them a platform so long as they make profit for the company. ive been seeing a lot of ppl saying hes j human but youd think theres a reason why mhj got kicked from sm, yk? and you j took her back in w open arms.

hybe is v good at media play fs. its their forte, and ppl seemed to stray from the from the main problem. mhj is using nwjns as a weapon. hybe probably is doing the same thing w their other groups too, dont get me wrong. ppl seem to forget that this entire issue isnt "drama", its a legal battle ensuing between a huge corporation and its subsidiary. hybe has infinite power compared to ador. its horrible on both ends.

the thing is tho, mhj has consistently been showing the public red flags. the lyrics of 'cookie (ik she didnt write the lyrics but shes the ceo. she got them approved)', the portraits gifted to her of naked underaged girls, her obsession w olivia hussey (who happens to look like minji), her treatment of sm employees, her past work w shinee (sexualization of underaged taemin), etc. not to mention her extremely (at least in my eyes) inappropriate relationship w nwjns. the gifts shes gotten them and how she uses their emotions as a weapon. if bhs did that, everyone would be up in arms.

i dont think (for the most part) this is misogyny. i think ppl alw had a weird feeling about her. at least i did.

idt its good to speculate on ppls departure tho. youre def right ab that. the lsfm hate train (esp the coachella one) most likely has nothing to do w mhj. and i do agree that hybe copied or was at least inspired by nwjns, but idt illit copied them. illit and nwjns have a very 'pinkpantheress' sound, the uk early 00's bedroom pop genre. however, nwjns is more y2k and illit is more dream-like, ykwim? hybe was def inspired by nwjns tho. i think a more fitting one would be tws tbh. their sound is v similar to me (emphasis on to me) than illit.

dont get me wrong, it's incredibly shady and the way that a lot of staff are on her side makes me think that hybe was leeching off of the success of nwjns. it referenced all girl groups under hybe tho, lsfm and fromis, but there was def more nwjns references.

what im worried ab the most are the groups, esp nwjns. lsfm has been going thru their own struggles and rn this isnt the best for them, but theyre not extremely involved in the situation, not like nwjns and illit. illit, from what ive seen, has majority of the success and recognition from overseas. however, their success in korea'll take a huge hit. itll def take a toll on the girls mental, considering they j debuted and this happened.

nwjns is the worst off. theres a chance they might leave w mhj if ador does pull away from hybe, which isnt in the groups best interest. mhj's press conference and overall attitude is gonna affect their upcoming release fs, and their proximity to mhj herself is worrisome.

hybe doesnt seem to be doing shit to protect their artists, they're j protecting their name. theres no statement on or for illit, no statement on malicious comments for any of the groups (that i know of).

tldr: min heejin and hybe are both at fault. dont take sides of either, take the side of the idols.

sorry, im j so passionate ab this. the shit ive been seeing online has been making me mad. after getting back from the lsfm hate train too... as mad as i am at mhj, hybe GAVE her that platform. if the things they claim is true, and if the speculation is true, they alr knew from her past employment that she was shady. its their fault for allowing that.

[tatumslollipop]

She did it for fame ,you for love

GF!jill roberts x fem!reader

Jill and you have been together for 2 years now but in the last few weeks shes been acting weird. Always coming home late,never telling you where she was or lie. You love her of course and she loves you but you still start thinking she cheats on you. Which you never confronted her about scared she would break up with you. But otherwise shes a very loving girlfriend.

Today the school is having their famous stab-a-thon where they watch every movie of the series of horror movies. But you needed to stay home because you had an history exam the next day. Its been 2 hours since jill left and kirby sends you an text "We are at my house now. They cancelled the marathon. If your finished studying you should come too! :)"

You finished studying after another hour and walk to kirbys house.You brought some popcorn. At the entry you see a dead body lying there. It is still bleeding. But all you could think about is jill. Is she dead? You start crying at the thought. You grab your knife that your parents gave you for protection You walk slowly to the door and open it. Carefully you open it but it squeaks and now shes looking at you. Jill your beloved girlfriend was the mastermind behind the killings. "I didnt want you to find it out this way. Actually I didnt want you finding out at all" she stabs sidney in the stomach and goes up to you. "Why are you doing this?" you say terrified and in shock. "I did it for fame. See how do people get famous these days? huh. You just need fucked up things happen to you. But we can be famous together baby. If you play along." she says. She sounds psychotic and evil. Her eyes darken. " Can you do that?" she says while carrying her knife carefully along your cheek not hurting you. "Or do I need to kill you." she says serious.You know she meant it. She really expects you to help her. You think for a while but then kiss her "Lets do this" she smiles at your comment and kisses you more passionate then she ever did. "Babe you need to pretend I stab you okay" you take some blood from the floor and walk into the living room. " Oh my god please help me. He stabbed me" Kirby walks over to you and you stab her in the stomach 3 times. Jill comes in with the ghostface costume on and says "Welcome to Act 3" she pulled out a gun and shots trevor who wanted to run away. Charlie comes in too and you stab him 6 times in the heart. Sidney is coming in again with a knife. "You cant get away with this" "Oh I cant lets see about that." Jill says " Why are you doing this?" Sidney asks "Do you know what it was like growing up in this family? Related to you? I mean, all I ever heard was Sidney this and Sidney that and Sidney, Sidney, Sidney. You were always so fucking special! Well, now I'm the special one."Then she shots sidney in the head. "Baby we are gonna know fame like you never even dreamed off" she says kissing you. She prepares everything to make it look like charlie and trevor were the killers and she gets away with it.

You two are now the survivers of the woodsboro murder in 2011. She got her fame and you got your girlfriend but at what price? And can the secret be kept?

[thatdeadaquarius]

With your language AU, I remember watching a video about a guy speaking angrily nonesense in an Indian accent and people thinking he was very angry. Imagine this as the Creator speaks angry gibberish to people and they just assume that the Creator is cursing them or something. (Or like when they speak gibberish to babies and everyone's like, "Aw the Creator is teaching that baby their divine language")

*AUDIENCE DRAMATICALLY GASPS.

✨️I look pretty good for a dead bitch✨️

She's alivveee!!!

Whats up i almost passed away from sheer academic workload, but im not in the ground yet 🥰 And with drafts outta my ass! :D

Hope yall ready for ur regularly scheduled Bullshit Genshin Sagau <3

SANDBEES THATS SUCH A GOOD USERNAME & ALSO SORRY I ANSWERED THIS SO FUCKING LATE JESUSSSSS 💀💀💀

SORRY ABT THE POLL I CANT BELIEVE I COULDNT FIGURE OUT HOW TO DELETE IT IM FUCKING CRYING I WOULD DO THIS-

Well at least i can do polls thru this in the future?? Idk tumblr is ass so we'll see how this accidental test works out...

☆

So these were the first thngs i thought of and its not super long bc ASKERS R GENIUSES OKAY

SOMTIMES I JUST WANNA PROFUSELY THANK U GUYS AS A REPLY FOR SHARING WITH THE CLASS THRU MY BLOG 💖💘💫

Saw the gif and couldnt help but think this is how ppl like Alhaitham or Diluc would react to u "speaking ur langauge"

"Our langauage" aka being a SIM 💀

◇

Stop Albedo would ask you to teach him ur lang/grammar rules 😭

What u gonna do when Zhongli asks you to teach him some words-

OH NO

NO DONT PASS ON YOUR BULLSHIT LMAO

U GIVING ZHONGLI SOME STUPID SIM WORD LIKE

Your ass: "GIGGLABAH means beautiful :) "✨️

Zhongli: "Oh thank you, how different from our own version, so excited sounding..."

You walk by him strolling the harbor and he just smiles at you and says

"You look gigglabah today my liege."

HIS REGAL FACE AND FANCY WALK WITH HIS HAND BEHIND HIS BACK AND EVERYTHING

(honestly ppl paint him as oblivious but he kinda seemed like the type of bastard who seems like he's not aware but sometimes he secretly knows the truth, he's just getting too much amusement out of it to stop doing it, LOL he does shit like the above to see YOUR reaction- LMAO)

◇

You're a maniac pls tell me u dont pass on simlish to all the serious characters-

XIAO WOULD SECRETLY THINK IT SOUNDS GOOFY BUT WANT TO BE INVOLVED BC ITS YOU ANYWAY LMAO

SO HE'S JUST SLIGHTLY SQUIRMING AND GETTIN PINK EVERYTIME HE SAYS A STUPID SIM WORD BC HE FEELS LIKE A GOOF HAHA

(& he's not the only one, others too like Kaveh, YELAN, Ningguang, Nahida, DILUC, AYAKA LMAO-)

◇

Some ppl i could see taking ur gibberish bullshittery and whether they believe its real or not is irrelevant bc theyre using it anyway-

And i dont mean in a good way 😭

LIKE IM THINKING OF VENTI.

CRAZY BARD INCLUDING SIMLISH ASS GIBBERISH WORDS IN HIS SONGS BC OF YOU

"Be cheerful like the hugkukie,

and may your cup never leaky!"

And Diluc loves you.

Really he does, deeper than he thinks-

But his eye is twitching LMAOO

◇

(Ok but if you did like multiple of these language shenanigans thruout the asks ive gotten, Kaeya would literally grow so fond of you and associate you with goofy funny shit that makes him laugh so hard that everytime he sees you he automatically is beaming with a smile, or trying to supress a warm grin- this got away from me but its 1:44am for me rn so i would love a smiley Kaeya rn -)

♡

Speaking language bs I have my 2nd oral exam for spanish tomorrow, pls send whatever good vibes u got and i am also really open to prayers from any religion as well. sobs

Hope anyone got any enjoyment out of my response bc tbh the ask is what rlly matters to me atp lmao

Until the next shenanigan-

Safe travels,

💀♒️

♡the beloveds mwah ♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist

[devvinn1ie]

an (un)helpful guide to 1-E

I just realized I barely talked about each individual 1-E kid, so here's that. Basically just a quick summary of everyone.

(going in order of the seating chart)

Wameku Nanase:

Vice class-representative

Quirk: Volume, she's able to change the volume of any sound (from really blasting something to full-on muting it)

serious + uptight attitude, but also a natural born leader who looks out for others

Kudasai Rena:

Class representative

Quirk: Memory Edition, Three parts basically: she members everything, can look into the memories of others, and change other people's memories.

A natural-born leader, seems put together and organized, but is secretly stressed.

Tanya Alfred:

one of the few foreign exchange students of the 1st year class

Quirk: Limb Generation, she can generate additional limbs (arms, legs, fingers) on her body

confident, strong-willed, and hardworking. One she sets her mind on something, she will acheive it

Murasaki Hideki:

1/3 of the mian trio

Quirk: Geometry, can make any three-dimensional shape from thin air, but at a cost of his energy

cold and sharp-tongued, but has a softer side that only few see

Kikuyu Seishi:

Quirk: Jackson's Chameleon (often shortened to just "Chameleon"), a mutant quirk that makes him resemble a chameleon and makes him capable od doing what ever a chameleon can.

a quiet person, ot because he hates them but more like he lacks social skills. A socially awkward person who just trying his best.

Miyama Yashiro:

Quirk: Stone Statue: can turn any inanimate object (+ eventually living things) into stone with all five fingers. All effects can be reversed.

A prideful person with an outward personality, a kinda a handful. Bros just a big goof tho

Kinzoku Ryosei:

Quirk: Can generate (via iron content in blood) + manipulate metals at a certain range. Honestly, the fact he failed the entrance exam baffles like most of the class.

He’s a little goofy guy, often rambling about absolute nonsense but also a sweetheart

Kangae Noriko: 

⅔ of the main trio

Main character moment

Quirk: Mind reader, literally the most self-explanatory one, she can read the mind of other people.

Impulsive and a bit of an airhead, but determined to meet her goals

Tsuzuko Kamon:

Quirk: plush dool, makes him resemble that of a stuffed animal. Essentially makes him like a human shield (Cant feel pain, absorbs shocks, ect)

Sweet guy who radiates innocence, but is kinda oblivious tho

Fujimoto Ikumi:

3/3 of the mian trio

Quirk: Yarn, her hair is yarn that can be manipulated and extended to great lengths.

Quiet and sweet when you first meet her, but can become just as lively as Noriko and Hideki with the right conditions.

Chijō Daishin:

Quirk: Rock, can manipulate and generate rocks via minerals form the food he eats

Energetic and confident, but alos very, very loud

Hedoro Emika:

Quirk: Slime Body, she can turn into a little blob of slime, can increase/decrease in size, trap things in her body, and fit through tight spaces

A cheerful person who likes being with other people can easily talk to anyone without any problems

Ikenoue Hakaru:

Quirk: Melt Off, by touching an inanimate object (or even people) with all five fingers, he can turn anything into a more liquified state.

Straightforward, apathetic, overly sarcastic, and very, very honest. One of the least social people in the class.

Kagayaku Amiyuki:

Quirk: Spherical Light, which can take sun rays and convert them into light orbs. Can be used to attack or just light up a room, can be stored

Very anti-social, not like “ew people”, more like “AAAAAA PEOPLE”, quiet and often tries to avoid her classmates

Hinazuki Satoru:

Quirk: Switch Blade, his hands can turn into switchblades with one swift motion with his hands (Edward Scissorhands, more like Edward Knifehands)

A laidback guy who can get along with practically anyone

Anabuki Masada:

“Quirk”: Bro isn't human, they can fire beams of light, extend their limb lengths, and have leg jets, They’re also fireproof and waterproof, with his only real weakness being electrocution

A being curious about the world around him, but is working on expressing emotion

Daiba Tokuro:

Quirk: Bomb, can make explosives via the proteins in his cells, honestly one of the most powerful students in the class

Just seems like a pretty normal dude, but with the right conditions, he can turn into a chaotic, super acceptive, and hyperactive,

Yamazaki Takage:

Quirk: Hallucination, can make others start to hallucinate by making eye contact with them

Despite his cheerful exterior, they are often described as weird and peculiar 

Hanasaka Kao:

Quirk: Plant Growth, can grow plants from her body via planting seeds into her body (it's a fun process)

The older sister figure in the class, she often looks out for them and just wishes to protect them

Sakamata Kazuya:

Quirk: Orca, can do whatever a orca can (in/out of water)

A very quiet person who often mind his own business, but tends to notice the smallest things

[beesmygod]

i should have done more research into "the good feet store" before going in bc its a scam business lol. i have tailor bunions on my feet that cause my pinky toe to curl in, which causes me to step on it, which then throws my entire shit off. anyway i just want some relief for them because the idea of having to go into my GP just to get a referral to a guy i cant see in 10 months sounds like shit.

anyway my clues were:

despite being called a "store" there were no items for sale. just a clerk who showed you what they sell to you before taking you to a cubicle in the back. they didnt have what i wanted but offered to do a "free exam"

exams are never free. this was my second clue

and last she brought out a machine that vibrates your feet and told me she sold them. do YOU know a doctor that sells you their medical equipment? lol

anyway it turns out they charge people like. thousands for inserts. plastic fucking shoe inserts. insane. anyway i just walked out when i realized what i had walked into. i got free socks. huge W for me

[bigmack2go]

Since i made tjis tag i thought i might as well add onto it already so uh yeah… again: feel free to use this to explain the internet to ur parents

Emoji guide!!

💀: is like a way to laugh. Specially like a „bruh“ or „no she/he/they/you did not“, „i cant believe he/she/they/you did this“ or „there is no way they/you/she/he did this!“. Do not use this if someone died please!

😭: also a laugh. Dont ask. People use it differently but many people use it specifically when they are jokingly complaining or whining about something. Also when something is unbelievable and/or like a wheezing „what?!“ or „seriously?!“

🥺: we usually mock ppl w this saying they’re pick me (fishing for compliments)

🤠: i hate my life right now

😃😀: those are like a frozen smile and show that u highly dislike smt

🙂: im about to strangle someone and beat the shit out of them. When you need to take a deeo breath to keep cool

🙃: either mocking pedoph!les lt trying to creep someone out or saying that someone is creepy

😆: hAHa YoUrE So FuNnY (hint: youre not funny)

😁: ironically saying „look what I’ve accomplished“

🥹: is the version of „🥺“ that we actually use

🥲: can be „beautiful“ *wipes tear from eye* or like the office glance at the camera.

😇: i do not in fact have very good intentions

☺️: im gonna kill u. Kind of a „you did what now?!“ when u try to keep calm

😊: im so not okay right now and i hate my life or being proud in a bragging way

😉: make fun of pedoph!les

😌: uh-huh thats right. Im great (and u suck). OR „good girl“ yk?? Or being proud

😗: also a frozen smile kinda thing

😋: hehe mischievous

😝: mocking old ppl

🤪: ironic way of mocking pick me girls (aka girls that are fishing for compliments)

🤨: „thats what she said…“

🧐: „do you realise what youre saying??“

🤓: making a mocking voice

😎: mikedrop

🥸: are you aware that u sound like an idiot rn

🤩: IM GONNA BE A DOCTOR OR LAWYER OR SMT (i didn’t fail my maths exam for once)

😣😖: u gonna cry?/ go cry about it

😫: our generation is weird and has to make everything moaning. Sry but this is moaning.

😩: „OH COME ON!“

🤯: are you telling me you didn’t know this yet?

🥵: moking hot situations or saying „that was close“

🥶: „YOU GOT ROASTED“

😶‍🌫️: wasn me

😱: are you telling me u didn’t know this?

🤗: im so happy for u (i hate you and i don’t think u deserve shit and it’s not fair that i have smt i want. Fuck u)

🤭: you think im frightened of u?

🤔: ironic way to say „i wonder why“

🤫: i did smt haha

🤥: i did smt not-so-haha

🫠: „that was so embarrassing“ discompfot or blush or a way of showing a crush. Some people use it as that thing where j get rly angry and try to cover it up and then your eye starts twitching

🤥: haha wasn me (it totally was me and we all know it)

🫥: no ones laughing

😐😑: i cant w u

🫨: more ironic version of „🥶“

🤤: i want that

🙄😴: waiting

😮‍💨: why r u such an idiot? And why did god choose me to handle it?

😵- oh— (swallowing a laugh)

🥴: w h a t

🤢: exxeragating way to make fun of ppl

🤑: gimme gimme

🤡: u/i sound like an idiot. Also way to mock creeps

👹👺: when u make your voice all bellowish and/or come of creepy and weord

👽: he/she/they sounds like an idiot. Are they dumb? Or „girl—?“

👾: stop talking. Ur annoying and also no ones buying ur shit

✌️: often used ironically

🤌🏼: *cheffkiss*

🫰🏼🤏🏻: teeny weeny

🫴🏻: y tho

☝🏼: mhm (pretending to be an authority figure, usually in a lightly mocking way)

🖐️: oft used in combo w „😭“ to say „can i live??“

👁️👄👁️: heh

✍️: noted OR im writing u in my death note

🦶: stfu or what ur saying makes no sense

🫦: mockingly sexual

👣: ur onto smt

👀: „woOHP“ *swallows a laugh*, he said what?, offensive sideeye, looking forward to smt OR i may or me not be plning smt (im absolutely planning smt) aka what i says has double meaning

🗣️: no one wants to hear your bullshit

👼: opposite as 😇

💆: this isnt a massage. This is me desperatly holding my demples and taking deep breaths so i dont kill anyone

💅: fab. Its also kind of slang/ hidden way to say „gay“ and do the handflick thingy. At least it used to be idk

🧑‍🦯: ur not making any sense

🧍‍♀️: someone spunds like an idiot or idk what to do w myself/ this sotuation

🕴️: you are about to break into dancing

🕺💃: vibing w music

🎩/🎓: used to be like „ha look how smart i am because of tjis one thing i got right“ in a nonserious way but no one rly uses it anymore

💍: marry me (obv) but like in an easy way. You had a good idea and im flashed by it so im exerragating your genious so much i want to marry u. Thats just an example obv

👑: u dropped this

🦄: delulu

✨: to make a word fancy like precenting a banner u put one of these at the beginning and end of the word/phrase/sentence. This can br sarcastic or serious. In quarantine many people used this as general quote unquote marks

🌚🌝: hehe

🔥: pften used by bro-pal-guy-jocks to push a post by comenting

[starjxsung]

Hi Star!! Please don't apologize for being away! We all have life and I know you've been going through some health challenges and work has been hectic - I just hope you're doing well and taking care 💕 sounds like life is putting you through it a bit and I just wanna let you know we're here to listen (or at least I know I am 💗) and that we care so so so much about you!!! School is going well!! I'm actually so hyped for the term. Overall I enjoy my courses. Plant Biology and Forest Ecology my beloved - I LOVE plant ID. All the labs for Forest Ecology are outside in the forest at my uni and for our final lab exam we have to memorize how to ID 70 indicator plants and their latin names and soil moisture and soil nutrients just from their branches - it'll be a fun challenge! One of my profs is WORLD FAMOUS for her research and I freaked out when I found out she was my prof. I also have been keeping in touch with a couple of profs from last year and it's been so great chatting with them - they said I could maybe TA their courses next year 👀 I've also been making an effort to make more friends and introduce myself - I've found a lot of people I met last year we kinda were just class friends and not really friends friends which is fine because that happens - I just wanna get to know more people and make more friends and find those I really click with. So far a few from last year I've still found to have stuck around which is nice :) I've also met some really nice new friends and it makes me so happy (some not so nice but that's okay I just won't try talking to them anymore haha). TW: S3xual assault???

urgh south africa guy. guess what! hasn't messaged me since my last update abt him. so like. welp. I'm actually happy that he hasnt now. like at the time i was like :((( . but now im like good fcking riddance bro. blocked! basically i went back and analysed things and realized yeah he was taking advantage of me and emotionally manipulating me. literally conditioned me to have sex with him??? like in conversations we had literally before we were anything. literally wanna throw up everytime i think about any ounce of time i spent with him even if it was just standing there. like. idk i finally talked it all out with a friend who was on the south africa trip too (she had her own situation with another dude on the trip - he fucking followed her to prague??? whole other messed up story.......) anyways, i realizsed that the whole situation was fcked up and he didn't care abt me at all and was prolly also just keeping me around cause he fetishizes asian women!! yay!!! idk i feel very physically used. which feels gross. tryna decide if I feel like this is borederline SA idk processing it all cause guess who has trauma and repressed it the whole time and was thinking everything was fine!! I could bring up a lot more sht that happened but im not really feeling like typing it out or thinking about it. I just. i cant help but feel its my fault for being stupid and naive :( even tho many people have told me its not. its just hard not to :( anyways, on a brighter note i forgot if i mentioned this in my europe update but so like i made friends with another kid on the norway tour thing. he was a fun kid to hang out with and mess around with. hes like 5 years younger than me tho. tbh was very mature tho. anyways, thought we wouldnt talk each other ever again after. but we had exchanged discords so we could message during the trip abt like when to go to the pool n sht. anyways, we ended up messaging little by little. and then like having convos. and turns out we are like almost identical people. just . living thousands of km apart and in different countries and like 5 year age difference. like i have two youngers brothers. and hes the same age as my youngest brother. and he feels like another younger brother to me now its so adorable. he'll share stuff with me and like its so easy to converse and hes so sweet??? anyways, literally makes my days better. adorable kid. i could tell you all the ways hes become my third brother but it's a lot lol. Love you lots Star 💕 make sure you're taking breaks! I don't want your eyes to die trying to work on fics and things!! xoxo 🌱

HI MY LOVE…… I missed you so much and I missed getting your little updates !! When I tell you I got SO EXCITED getting this one fkfickjdkdkfkfkdkd there’s so much to unpack I’m so stoked !! I’m doing okay (just hating everything related to my job) but I’m pulling thru and I think in a few weeks I’ll feel a little more like myself again :’)

Okay your classes sound SO COOL???? I can’t tell you that be able to memorize the Latin names of any plants bc that sounds hard as hell but THAT’S SO COOL….. also your professor being world famous is literally the coolest thing ever???? Isn’t it SO exciting when you have a well known professor 😭 I had a professor who was the man behind the “little baby ice cream” commercials (that rly weird one of the guy eating ice cream off his head…. It’s kinda scary??) and when I tell you I FLIPPEDDDDD WHEN HE TOLD ME….. like I had so much to ask him and pick his brain about kjsjckdkdjdkfjfj also I’m so glad you’re making so many friends! It’s somehow so much harder to make friends in college than you’d think bc people are so focused on their studies & just keeping to themselves. But when you find people you really click with it’s truly the best feeling :’) side note if we met in a class I just know we’d be besties like in another universe I just know we’re in a plant class together and we get in trouble for talking too much LMFAOOO

anyways I’m really sorry to hear about South Africa guy :( I was truly rooting for you guys and I’m so disappointed to hear he just seems like another loser who used you for sex. Honestly I was in a super similar situation with the first guy I ever “dated” and had a serious relationship with. We agreed to be a fwb arrangement but to still stay exclusive to each other bc otherwise it’d just feel icky. Which I knew deep down I didn’t want because I just wanted to be with him, but I feel like we’re really susceptible to just settling for any version of a man we can get, just so that we don’t lose them. Of course this turned into a full year of me being at his beck and call whenever he wanted a sexual favor, and sending like thousands of pics whenever he wanted them. He’d literally ask me to leave family functions and send pics/vids of myself no matter where I was. In hindsight it was fucking disgusting and I think it really fucked me up sexually & emotionally and I just wish I could go back and grab myself by the shoulders and YELLLL at fact that I ever agreed to be that with him 😭 you can’t blame yourself for this unfolding though, you did the best you could with what you were emotionally able to handle at the time, and unfortunately you both had different wants out of this relationship. He didn’t deserve you in the slightest and he’ll just do this to the next girl who shows him a modicum of attention. You are truly such a fantastic, beautiful, SMART, wonderful girl and you deserve so much better than the lousy cards these guys deal you. Take time to heal and make sure you’re ready to be in another relationship when you’re ready, but know what this isn’t the defining point of what you’re worth or meant for. There are only better things and experiences and people still waiting for you, and dumping that loser guy is just another step forward for you. I’m proud of you for understanding your worth and acknowledging this might just be a trauma response. You’re not a loser, you’re not naive, and you do NOTTTT deserve someone who’s just around to fetishize your existence. You only deserve the best, most unconditional love and attention 💓

I’m so glad you did get a friend out of the trip though !! That sounds like the plot of some coming of age film LOL I hope you guys continue to stay friends for a long time! Sometimes you find friendship where you least expect it 🫶

I love you so so so much my angel, please take it easy and be kind to yourself. What you’ve been through hasn’t been easy, but remember you’re also crushing it in college, you traveled the world and you’re an amazing artist. And no shitty man will ever take that away from you !!!! You deserve someone who matches your energy !!!!! Your aura is like +100000 at any given moment don’t ever forget it 🌱💓🫶 I LOVE U.

[senselessalchemist]

non-major NSFW talk about working in IVF/ART below (... so maybe it's SFW in context? 🤔)

new to the world of helping people have babies thru Science and it strikes me as so fuckin weird that right now despite everything it still takes the same old bullshit to make a new human. tbf there may be technologies that I'm unaware of being developed or whatever but from what I know you still gotta use a pair of gametes to make a new tiny person. cant get around it. have never seen the word "masturbation" on so many medical forms but you need those dang sperm and that's often the easiest way to get them!

I think it's just the juxtaposition of the efficient/professional/reserved medical stuff and the messy realities of biology vis a vis sexual reproduction. come in a cup and bring it in to our lab, we're doing an icsi, make sure all your info is properly written on the label, we need at least two unique identifiers for all samples. (This is probably not unique, similar stuff must happen with like the majority of medical disciplines. you try to make it dry and clinical but the biology is always there, just kinda being nasty and probably goopy. Lots of slime in biology.)

* shrugs * also probably just because it's all new to me. I did microbial ecology in a nonhuman context and this is a very different scene, obviously. humans is all the same, tho, they still don't read the instructions fully even when they are paying out of pocket for incredibly expensive procedures and I'm like you didnt have your signature notarized (like it told you explicitly to do on the form) so I cant accept this consent for something you want done tomorrow. It's just like dealing with students not reading questions fully on exams. Feels like home

... sorry for so much jizz talk. Part of it is that I don't think most medical clinics have a room dedicated to manual pleasure (door closed all the time, please) - which is also just so stupidly funny to me. like I get it, it makes sense, it's probably generally evolutionarily sound to incentivize reproduction with something enjoyable but everything has been recontextualized for me recently and I cant help but just kinda laugh at it sometimes

(I promise I am so professional at work and that I'm not laughing at specific people when I think about this... more just the broad concept of ""Life"" and what it takes to propagate it. Because like in the end we're all just these weird colonies of cooperating bits and pieces, doing all this chemical nonsense that involves a lot of kind of disgusting stuff... and yet we try to pretend that we're beyond or above it. This is not to say anything about, I dunno, some weird concept of like biological absolutism or whatever, I'm not trying to say that we are solely defined by our bodies, but just that there are fundamental biological processes we all share and sometimes it feels silly when those get ignored or euphemized or treated as abhorrent and uncouth)

[prettyboykatsuki]

Hii plz just ignore this if you’re uncomfortable or reply to it if you'd like to reply I really would appreciate it but I just need to get some stuff out of my chest

I feel so so bad I just cant see whats the point in my life anymore I feel as if Im just consuming and not giving anything in return I feel useless I dont know how to take a joke or how to make one I dont know how to express my feelings and emotions properly and people keep getting the wrong ideas and Im tired of explaining anything to anyone and I feel as if all of my friends aren’t really there like Im just a passing person on their life I keep losing people and I keep leaving people afraid of them leaving me sometimes and I dont get what the hell is wrong with me sometimes I wish I was never born or if I were someone else but then again I wish I had the power to keep moving and make my life better but I cant even do that I study day and night and I dont get the grade that I want while some people I knew spends their whole life on social media and they are getting full grades literally I feel like Im useless in every aspect of life and I know I shouldn’t be complaining and there are people who have it worse but I really needed to get that out of my chest and I can’t trust anyone of the people I know to tell them all of this also Im going through exams and shit so I just feel really pressured and all

Anyway thank you if you wasted your time reading this or not it doesn’t matter but I really enjoy your writings as well they make me feel alive so thank you for existing🩵

hello!

i thought for a long time today on how to reply to this. or if i should. get asks like this that are triggering can be very tricky to navigate, because on one had it is hard for me. and on the other, i care and have sympathy for you. and i think sometimes, it is easier to reach out to stranger about how you feel than people you love. so i would never blame you for that, or want to make you feel worse.

mostly, i want to say i am unqualified to help you completely. because im just a person who's live a vague concept of a life. take my words with a grain of salt.

i think the most important thing for you to remember is that everything you are experiencing is temporary. and i dont say that to dismiss you, but because i think it worth examining everything in your life and thinking that when it gets to be too much. you are worrying about so much at once, but you'll disillusion yourself in that process.

suffering, pain, excitement, joy. these are all very temporary things to feel, even when they seem like they'll go on forever. they are big, abstract concepts that will torment you near relentless if you let them. the only thing that you have with you concretely, is what you are able to do right now.

i wont tell you that life will immediately get better because to make a life that doesn't make you suffer takes so much time. it is so much work to build a good life and it is constant work - but never impossible. but i think it will quell the pain a little to take a deep breath and slow down to process what you're experiencing, which is a big brush of hopelessness that is so encompassing.

everything feels hopeless because you trying to tackle everything all at once. to me, it doesn't sound like you want to die. it sounds like you want it to be easier. it sounds like you want to burden the lessen, which ultimately means you desire a life. and you sound like you're trying very hard to do that all while worrying about everything else at the same time.

i dont know if i have any advice for you. any good advice, but if i could urge you do anything - it would be to take a deep breath and remember it will pass. it always does. and after that, sort your problems out one by one. and once you've done it, pick the thing that is most urgent that you can change, and start to work towards it. do it slowly and try to keep everything else out of your mind.

if you fail, forgive yourself. you have to forgive yourself. sometimes, the only thing you are able to do is live. or try to live. that doesn't make you useless. no human beings worth is measured by what they can and cannot do. you wouldn't love someone based on what they do but who they are.

and maybe you don't like who you are. maybe your friends aren't the right fit. maybe it will be lonely for a while. you can change it. you can find something new or maybe it will teach you to like your own company. it will pass and you will come out of the other side. but the only way to change those things is to try, and sometimes fail, and to forgive yourself after that and then try more. the world is not ending you just have to take it one day at a time.

it will be fine because everything passes unwillingly. and eventually this will just be another bad day. you're not useless. give yourself some grace for trying. and i hope it gets easier.

[expensive-rainbows]

cw: SA, intrusive thoughts

ok so i know ive told yall some of this but idk how much ive told yall. so bassically three years ago there was this man who would hold the door for my bus since we always got there late so we would get locked out. keep in mind i know i shouldnt feel obligated to share what i was wearing but i cant help but feel that might be part of the reason why he targeted me. my favorite shirt was a sheer blue shirt that you could see my bra through if you looked close enough. this was during winter and i took my coat off on the bus since i didnt want to deal with it at school. he would ask me if i was a Eskimo (im mexican) and i would tell him no and keep walking. he had jolly ranchers and would give everyone some, but he gave me more than everyone else. he would give me double sometimes triple what everyone else got. i found it creepy so i never ate them, i just put them in my backpack and threw them out at the end of the year. everyday, when he held the door for me, and i watched how he treated everyone else and it was only me, he would take up more and more of the doorway everyday. like the first day he would take up a little, the next he would take up a little more, until he got to the point where he wasnt touching me (since im pretty sure its illegal) but that i knew he could if he wanted to. at the same time he would wait outside my fifth hour while we all waited in a line since my teacher went to the bathroom before class. he started by standing in the center of the hallway, and didnt leave until i made eye contact with him. everyday he got closer, until again he didnt touch me, but he was less than a foot away, and he had me cornered. i knew he could do whatever he wanted and no one would see. this lasted about two weeks and ended on december 16, 2023. I remember because it was a thursday and i was so happy the next day when he disappeared. idk if it was just this or something else that ive blocked out, but im terrified of men. like just in general. its been three years and i cant look my band teacher in the eye. ive had him for three years. i couldnt hug my dad for the first three months. my dad is one of the nicest people ive ever met. i know he would never knowingly take advantage of someone. i cant talk to my english teacher alone, i need my friend to go with me to ask to go to the bathroom. but dont worry this is a happy story. so sorry but im gonna give yall even more context. so my school take all the music kids of my grade to a like smaller amusement park, which isnt near us, its a good drive to get there. its kind of a big deal. plus we have one in our town, but its a lot smaller than the one we went to. so anyway the trip was today, and the band group took a picture together. i was in the back row, and idk if the guys in front of me knew i was there or how close i was to them but i was pretty close. like i could see the creases on the back of one of their necks. i could smell him. (he had some sort of cologne on, not axe body spray but close) but i didnt freak out or anything. like i noticed, but i didnt go home and have a panic attack or anything, i wasnt convinced that he was gonna r@pe me, nothing. i was fine. do you have any idea how long its been since i could say that. since i could say that i was fine and mean it. i didnt have a panic attack, didnt hurt myself (i did break my streak a little big ago, but thats because since were at the end of the school year im very sleep deprived and i have exams and i started working plus taekwondo so im busy and tired. and when im tired i take everything personally) its been three years since i could say i was fine and truly mean it. i still get a little weird around guys/men, but its getting better. now its only physical proximity, i can look them in the face! i know this probably sounds sad but im honestly happy. also quick question.