#i say that but it also took me several hours it is 2am

[aethlingg]

eggsona !!!!!

[robertphilip]

okay i really need to go to bed so last question that is related: what are the sleeping headcanons !!! light/heavy sleeper, pre-sleep rituals/routines, insomnia, dreams, talking in sleep, etc. give me the cozy snuggly tea

(pre-sofia, (and post-her being a babbie) because of course a little Princess is gonna affect the sleeping vibes quite drastically, lmaooo)

God, a train could crash through their house, and Robert would sleep right through it. He is such a heavy sleeper, and it absolutely amazes Giselle. She timed him once on how long it took him to finally hear his alarm... thirty minutes !!!

The only sound that wakes that man up is his babies crying, he is very aware of when his daughters need him, and will always wake right up. Which surprised Giselle, but she was very thankful, because she's a very light sleeper, so she thought she'd be spending most nights either caring for Sofia herself, or pushing Robert until he finally woke up.

Giselle also struggles with falling asleep. Her mind is so active, and she can't ever seem to shut it off. She spends hours just lying in bed either staring at the ceiling, or watching Robert sleep. It's also not uncommon for her to wake him up and ask random questions that float through her head, or sometimes she'll do it just because she misses him and wants someone to talk to. Robert was very confused about this at first, and wasn't... thrilled about being woken up at 2AM just to be asked "why do you not like snow?" but now he's very used to it and will nod along with whatever it is she's saying. His eyes are usually closed, but he is listening !! It's also hard for her to go back to sleep once she's woken up, and she's usually up very early. She likes being awake at the crack of dawn for many reasons, but one is that she hopes if she's up earlier, and does several things throughout the day, she'll be tired and actually sleep later. It doesn't always work, but she keeps doing it anyway.

They also both can't sleep unless they're touching each other in some way. Usually they fall asleep facing each other, arms wrapped around the other, and their limbs are all tangled up. Even when they're fast asleep, they cling. I headcanon Giselle is a very warm (almost too warm at times) person, and during summer, Robert is struggling bc all she wants to do is cuddle, but she's too hot. And one summer, their AC broke, and Robert woke up drenched in sweat, and tried to get Giselle to stop clinging to him, but no matter how much he pushed her away, she'd just roll right back over and grab him. He ended up having to sleep on the couch that night bc it was just too hot ☹️ but he's used to her body heat now, and will suffer if he has to bc he doesn't like sleeping alone.

For Morgan, as a baby she hardly, if ever cried. She was so quiet, and it really surprised Robert bc he was fully expecting to deal with a ton of sleepless nights, and headaches. And there was some of that right after his divorce, but it didn't last long, thankfully. She was a pretty heavy sleeper, and still is, though not nearly as bad as Robert. I also headcanon that, if Morgan woke up in the middle of the night, instead of crying for his attention, she'd just stare at him. Robert woke up several times to her just 👁️👄👁️ through her crib, and he'd be like "God, Morgan... I am begging you, please start crying... I can't keep waking up to your big ol' eyes just staring at me."

Sofia, omg, Sofia as a baby was the complete opposite of Morgan. She was so loud, and every little sound would wake her up. She was also always wide awake at night, and slept through (most of) the day. Her being a night owl didn't surprise them, really, because she always kicked Giselle the most at night, but it didn't stop them from feeling overwhelmed. And the only way to get her to stop crying was to hold her. The second they'd put her back down, she'd start crying again. And they love holding their baby, of course, they never want to put her down, but it definitely effected their own sleep schedules. But, as Sofia grows up, she inherits Robert's heavy sleeping, and just like him, could sleep through a train crash. Giselle & Robert spend like ten/fifteen minutes waking her up for school, and she's always so grumpy in the morning.

Oh, and night routines !! Giselle started doing a nightly skincare routine, and begged Robert to join her. At first, he did it just to make her happy, but then he started to realize his skin looked amazing and he was like "wait... you're onto something with this skincare crap" and now they do a lil routine together every night. Giselle would 100% have a headband like this (x) or this (x), and Robert would have this one (x) because it's so silly & stupid and he certainly cannot just have a basic one, not on Giselle's watch !!

[fantomette22]

Alright, let’s talk about your blorbos—Gehrman and Ranni!!

Alright let’s talk about Gehrman and Ranni ! 

Send me a character ask game here

Gehrman

You know I will have a ton of stuff to say on the first hunter!

First impression

Weird old man who’s really pessimistic and kinda gave up on everything. 😕 (Why don’t you explain stuff?! Why aren’t you useful pls. What's up with the doll too ??)

Impression now

Well… do I really need to explain ? Ah yes I need. I should for people who don’t know. Ok. I really like him! My interpretations made me like him, a lot. It’s like that, that’s how I feel I can’t changed that. I am touched by his tragic and nuanced story. I might have a severe brain rot on him to help

I love him ok, he’s one of my favs after all. I joke he’s the little blorbo meow meow of my heart but in all seriousness.. I really like the character he’s really interesting and intriguing. Yes he screw up and found out the hard way but I think he’s such a tragic and misunderstood figure too. LOOK AT HIS BOSS FIGHT AND THEME too ! Omg and everything really. 

Also I used to found funny, people who have the most depressive guy as their comfort character ahah Well guess what 😅 I mean I’m probably still in denial but bro literally appear 5s in one of my nightmare to comfort smn so hm… I guess my brain is trying to made me understand smt.

Hm sorry I got a bit absorbed hm I will finish by saying that it took me quite some times to end to this impression. It din’t happen overnight for sure. I really I asked myself lot of questions. I spend lot of time doing research and having long reflexion on everything and particularly on him. 

Favorite moment

His freaking boss fight ! Ahhh (yeah after finishing the game I listened to his theme for like 1 hour at 2am. Yep normal bloodborne experience 👍) I really love it I feel like I can imagined all his life with his theme (same with Laurence’s theme too)

Idea for a story

I have too much. Most of my stories are focused on more than 1 characters so with only him or really focused on him ? Oh well…

-His childhood/teenage years/ young adult years + how he ended up at Byrgenwerth (Kinda angsty in the middle but hey it’s « soft » compared to the rest ��😂) I won’t tell too much on that but I already share some hehe

His life after Maria passed away and before the hunter dreams…. (Divided in 2)

Really angsty dark and depressive part not long after that … :/ want to make me cry really…

When he’s older and  calmed down a bit, still hunts a bit, help new hunters, (rip og group of old hunters there’s not much anymore) have a dog and all 🥺 try to you know, live a normal life again  until well you know… Cainhurst & the church… the dream…

-(Bonus Gehrman lil adventures in the nightmares/dream but it would feature other characters a bit too much perhaps)

Unpopular opinion

Well… I don’t think he’s that creepy, fucked up and sexist old man many people depicted him to be. I won’t dive into that too much now. It would be long and I don’t have the time. Another day perhaps + I already try to talk about it I think. And there’s really good stuff on the subject around. I think he’s a really nuanced and maybe really loose it after some point but not that badly. With all the clues I got in the game : the mistranslations (+ I didn’t played in English originally too!) + the differents interpretations on so many things + his presentation & ending it just don’t feel right for me to categories him that way. (+If he was really the biggest asshole don’t you think he would have end like Seluvis or Gideon in elden ring? Like shit? I feel many bloodborne characters are way way worse and no one fight over it too XD)

So yeah that's It I don't thins he's that bad 😐 that's it

Favorite relationship

Hm I’m not sure… I don’t remember, what was the character that have my favorite relationship with him again ?

I think it was a hunter too ? An old hunter hm… oh a lady hunter perhaps ? Hm… oh yes the person the doll is based on maybe ? Oh who was it again… ? 🤔

Ok I’m so sorry that was a really poor taste joke… Of course it’s Lady Maria.

I’m not sure how to describe it. Might feel insane perhaps but I have just so many thoughts and feels on those 2.

Even if I have interpretations I prefer and I’m a bit biased because of some of my taste & main hcs cough I love so many interpretations of their relationships as well.

What was their relationship exactly, where they just close friends, master/apprentice, coworkers,  platonic? romantic feelings? Oneside/both sides? Did smt happen between them ? Never happened ? Was it smt really weird on fence or in the contrary nothing weird at all ?? Or were they maybe related from the same family ? Father/daughter (figure). Since when do they know each others ? How did they meet ?! 

Even if I tend to share more of one specific headcanons of mine (the more developed one and version of bloodborne lore that I have) I have so many ideas clashing in my heads and I love seeing unique and interesting takes on it. We can’t denied this 2 are strongly link together and have such a unique bond that transcend death and dreams themself.

Of course my fav one being the one where/when they were (just) close friends that relate to one another a lot and believed they understand each other really well (for some times at least) idk but I cannot, not imagined them being all silly and doing really silly things back at Byrgenwerth. 

So anyway I wish we had more and my brain is crazy trying to fill the gasps.

Also I wish we knew more on his relationship with Laurence & Willem but also Ludwig & the doll and  other characters as well.

Favorite headcanon

Oh wow I would have too much so I will just stick to a few ones

He was byrgenwerth groundskeeper 

He made the mercy blades + it was his originally (so he had a grand and smaller weapon too)

The weird half hidden note in the hunter dreams about ending the nightmare/dream is from him

He can sew really well and fixed the old hunters clothes who were damaged (people skins too 💀)

He used too/could make really great wood figures + toys

He made all the old hunters badge himself and they’re made out of siderite too (but I think it’s a bit oblivious) 

He did some study at Byrgenwerth and do know quite a lot of things (all the books at the workshop, blood gems etc)

Oh wait it’s just A favorite one ?! (I’m bad a choosing ahhh hm idk he would make a great house husban- I mean the mercy blade hc ! Maybe)

Ranni

(rest undercut because it's a long post)

First impression

Really intrigued but I also knew many people love her quite a lot XD

Impression now

Well I love her of course (my tarnished is her consort so a bit biased sorry). But I’m quite critic of her too. What I mean by that is that I perhaps expect more things about her too you know ? 

Favorite moment

Do i need to say anything…

And 

And also when she talk to is in the form of the mini Ranni (that might be one of my fav moments yep)

Idea for a story

Euh… hm idk either her time with the witch Renna or what lead to the night of the black knife (that remember I have pics to read !)

Unpopular opinion

I don’t think it’s really unpopular but she’s quite a really gray characters too. I wish we knew more about her motivation and what she really wanted. Like did you really wanted to kill Godwyn and do a giant mess or was it circumstance hm? I found some other characters way easier to like than her too. Sorry 😢

Favorite relationship

With Blaidd of course (but also Iji and Rykard, her mother etc). (And the tarnished XD) and I wish we had info about her relationship with other characters (like all her siblings and half siblings)

Favorite headcanon

Hm… idk XD she really liked her mentor drip ? When I grow up I wanna be like her ! A old and ice heretic witch ? Ok sure Ranni x)

She wanted to escape her fate and all and she said she don’t want smn (a consort) to share her burden but she still deep inside i think she really wish to have someone 

[melodiousmonk]

LAURIE ANDERSON on her life with LOU REED:

′′Lou and I played together, became best friends, and then comrades, we traveled, listened and criticized each other's work, studied things together (butterfly hunting, meditation, kayaking). We made ridiculous jokes; quit smoking 20 times; fought; learned to hold our breath underwater; went to Africa; sang opera arias in the elevator; made friends with unlikely people; followed each other on tour when possible; we had a sweet dog playing piano; shared a house that was different to our respective apartments; we protected and loved each other. We often went to see art, music, shows, theatre and I watched how he loved and appreciated other artists and musicians. He was always so generous. He knew how difficult the environment was. We loved our West Village life and our friends; and we always did everything in the best way we could.

Like many couples, each of us has built a way of being: strategies, sometimes compromised, which allowed us to be part of a couple. Sometimes we lost a little more than what we were capable of giving, or gave in a little too much, or felt abandoned. Sometimes we really got angry. But even when I was out of my mind, I was never bored. We learned to forgive each other. And somehow, for 21 years, we've intertwined our minds and hearts together.

It was spring 2008. I was walking down the street in California feeling knocked down and talking on my phone with Lou. ‘There are so many things I never did and want to do?’ I told him.

′′ Like what, for example?"

′′ I don't know, I never learned German, I never studied physics, I never married ′′

′′ Why don't we get married?" he asked. ′′ We could meet halfway there. Arriving in Colorado. How about tomorrow?"

′′ Uhm... don't you think tomorrow is a little early?"

′′ No, I don't think so ".

And so the next day we met in Boulder, Colorado, and married in a friend's garden on Saturday, wearing our normal Saturday clothes, and although I had to play a show right after the ceremony, Lou was ok with it. (Musicians marrying is like when two lawyers marry. When you say ′′damn I have to work in the studio until 2am,” or cancel all your appointments to close the case. You know exactly what it means and you don't necessarily jump for joy).

I guess there are many ways to get married. Some people marry someone they barely know, which can even work. When you marry what's also your best friend for several years, there should be another name for it. But the thing that surprised me the most about getting married is how time changes. And also how it somehow adds a tenderness that was, in some way, completely new. To paraphrase the great Willie Nelson: ′′ 90 % of people this way end up with the wrong person, and that's what still makes juke boxes play." Lou's Jukebox was full of love and many other things : beauty, pain, history, courage, mystery.

Lou had been sick for two years now: first for interferon treatment, a series of vile but often effective injections to treat hepatitis C which is equipped with a good series of annoying side effects. Then a liver cancer took over, which was added to an advanced form of diabetes. We achieved good results in the hospital. He learned everything about these diseases and their treatments. He continued to do Tai Chi every day for two hours plus photographs, books, recordings, his radio broadcast with Hal Willner and many other projects. He loved his friends, and called, texted, emails when he couldn't be with them. We tried to understand and apply the teachings that our master Mingyur Rinpoche imparted; especially the most difficult ones such as ′′ you must learn to master the ability to feel sad without actually being sad ".

Last spring, at the last minute, he received a liver transplant that seemed to have worked completely and instantly regained health and energy. Then even that started working badly, and there was no escape. When the doctor said, ′′ It's over. There are no options anymore ", the only part Lou heard was ′′ options ". He didn't give up until the last half hour of his life, when he suddenly accepted it: suddenly and completely.

We were at home. I had taken him out of the hospital a few days earlier. And even though he was very weak, he insisted on coming out in the morning blinding light.

As people used to meditation, we were prepared for this: how to move energy from your belly to your core and then push it out of your head. I've never seen an expression as full of wonder as Lou's when he died. His hands were doing the shape 21 of Tai Chi, that of flowing water. Her eyes were wide open. I was holding in my arms the person I loved more than anything in the world and talking to him while he died. His heart stopped beating. He wasn't scared. I was able to walk with him to the end of the world. Life - so beautiful, painful and spectacular - can't give anything more than this.

What about death? I think the purpose of death is to free love."

~Laurie Anderson~

[httpiastri]

hello! since the year is almost over, i wanted to ask what your favorite moments from 2023 were in these series: f1, f2, f3, indycar, and freca/f4 (if you watched those)! happy holidays 💚❤️

f1 – so so many good ones to choose from!! watching oscar take his first points in his home race was magical. silverstone was pretty insane too, i was pretty much freaking out and not believing my eyes during quali. it felt so surreal, i still smile when i think about it, i remember how i was like jumping and going crazy in front of my tv while my cousin just stared at me like 🤨 obviously suzuka and qatar too, mclaren podiums will always have a special place in my heart. all of lando's podiums make me so warm too <3 and liam's first points in singapore !!!!

f2 – it would be silly not to say baku, no? it was such an amazing weekend to experience. ollie truly showed his capabilities and i was very proud <3 i also really loved his feature win in monza, an fda boy in prema's home race and just 🥺 and zandvoort, obviously! clem!!!

f3 – more lows than highs lol. no, but monaco was a good weekend, dino first in his quali group and then his 2nd place in the feature <3 paul in hungary, his redemption in the sprint !! and spa before they pitted with paul 🤭 hoping for more highlights for dino next year, he was too unlucky in 2023 :(

indy – i wasn't super into indy this year (planning on watching more actively next year!) but the indy 500 is something that springs to my mind. my whole family was gathered in front of the tv (even my brother and mom who don't really care for motorsports) and we were all so nervous for marcus (ericsson) lol. other than that, all i can remember is waiting up until like 2am for quali one weekend (cant remember which) this summer and then realizing that there was a storm and it was postponed several hours 😶

freca/f4 – hmmm i feel like most of the f4/freca races i watched were pretty unlucky for the drivers i was cheering for lol... all i can remember is arvid being crashed into, and me chatting with people in the live youtube chat lol. ohhhh but freca in zandvoort, the feature when kimi started p8 (?) but took the lead in like 2 laps and then won by 12 seconds despite the red flag, a great way to secure the title 😁

[kanside]

life update (3/31/2023)

(holy shit i put 2022 i forgot it was 2023?? whats next? 2024?? so weird)

my physical health is taking a severe plummet (i joke that its in reaction to my mental health doing better).

my sleep schedule has flipped completely from 11pm-9am to 2am-12pm. this is a severely unhealthy shift. doctors say my epilepsy took sleep into factor the most and although i doubt this (my belief is that it was psychosomatic / in response to traumatic situations) i am aware that my sleep plays a HEAVY factor in my physical and mental health as a whole. i am still getting the same amount of hours but i am emotionally imbalanced as well as physically drained because the fucked up sleep schedule is affecting my eating habits. i have been very sick, weak, and generally feeling shitty. on top of that my appetite is affected by how many medications i take during the day. note on the sleep schedule. the reason i want to sleep at 11 pm exactly instead of earlier or later [ex. 9, 10, or 12] is because good sleep is based off of the cycle in which you wake, not the amount of hours slept. my sleep/dream cycle seems to last around 10 hours. this makes me think 11 pm is the best time to sleep, and 9 am is the earliest i must wake up. these times can be adjusted based off of new observations and schedules.

in retaliation to these (imo) severe health issues i have set some general goals and are listing them here to 1. remind myself of them and 2. let everyone know that i am still on the path to recovery and regularly working to improve myself above all else. the goals and ideas are as follows:

- unfortunately gained a dependency on my mom to wake me up in the morning again. frustratingly no matter how many alarms are set, no matter how loud, or even no matter how my mom comes in to gently wake me up, i will not get out of bed. i feel guilty for being dependent on her but have asked her to, when available, wake me up at 9 am by disrupting my sleep state with tasks that piss me off or jolt me suddenly: shaking me by the shoulders, turning my light on (it attracts bugs, i dont like it), leaving my door wide open (i have conditioned myself to think that door closed = sleep time, door open = wake time), etc. this will hopefully keep me from sleeping until noon and exhaust me enough to sleep by 11.

- on top of that ive tried adapting to pain and discomfort associated with eating food at abnormal times. instead of eating breakfast when ive woken up, ive been trying to force myself to eat appropriate meals at appropriate times. today was very hard, i had my favorite sandwhich when i woke up because it was noon. it seriously hurt because my body refused to take in any food (probably because i dont like eating immediately after waking or taking medicine) however i could feel pain due to hunger and knew i needed to eat. this sounds little but it was very hard. hopefully this appetite issue can be forced through and handled better as i fix my sleep. ive also asked my mom to buy some apples (granny smith which i eat in slices, and honey crisp which i eat in whole) because oddly enough the only thing my body wants to eat in the morning is those exact textures and consistencies. she’s going shopping soon so!!! yippee!!!!

- i recently tried to apply to a job. i have recognized this is an impulsive decision and i am not ready to take one on. i gave them my name and number and they said they’d call me, but i’m likely to apologize and decline. we’ll see, i just needed money really. commissions are still open and right now although my goal is health, my secondary goal is gaining traction online to balance hobby, health, and gaining money. im nearly finished with my MAP part and im eager to see the sort of response it gets and establish myself online again

- once i establish a better sleep and eating schedule, ill finally hopefully be able to go to a doctors appt. and request lowering the dosage of my epilepsy medication. it’s very hard taking over a dozen pills day and night for a disorder that hasnt shown itself in over 2 years. i only stayed on the meds this long because there was anxiety over transition. im very eager to not be as dependent on medication, and only take medication alongside proper therapy (which i will hopefully receive) for mental health and productivity reasons alone.

tldr

this is a life update of sorts to describe where im at and give you an idea of my availability and energy levels. i am feeling very sick. my sleep and eating schedule is fucked up. i am currently putting much of my focus into personal hobbies, relaxing tasks (watching shows, playing games), self care, chores, and fixing some health issues with myself. i was very eager to be more productive and social, and im sorry if i cant be all the time! soon i will have plenty of time and energy to share with yall.

love you guys :] im gonna go watch anime or something

[headspace-hotel]

do... do you want to expand on whatever was up with your old roommate? because frankly at this point a) it sounds like you SERIOUSLY need to get this out into the open and get some validation in there, and b) i now really want to know wtf her problem was

I've said some things about it, but it was like...your basic common or garden abusive behavior. I can't even describe how controlling she was without writing a whole novel.

She would try to prevent me from eating "too late" at night, saying that it was "unhealthy" to eat at night and that she was "worried" about me. She would not shut up about this one. I told her, pointedly, that I needed to eat in the evenings and I could not sleep on an empty stomach, and she ARGUED with me, saying, "Well, medically, that doesn't make any sense. That shouldn't be happening."

I did actually tell her to mind her own damn business about that one multiple times, but it never fully stopped; even during finals she tried to tell me I couldn't use the microwave at like, 8:30 pm.

I told her up front, repeatedly that I was messy and that I was regularly awake until 2am. She said that was fine. Repeatedly. When we became roommates she would go to bed at 10:30pm and expect me to be either in bed or to be completely silent by then. By "completely silent" I mean more silent than it is humanly possible to be. Unwrapping any kind of package or wrapper, eating, typing on my computer in silence, taking off my jacket, or taking medication were all things she groaned and complained about on at least one occasion.

We would "compromise," repeatedly, and every time she would...not change her behavior. If I took a shower at 10:30, she would try to convince me not to take a shower. If I was awake at midnight doing homework, she would tell me that I needed to go to bed and would not listen when I told her that I was working on something that was due tomorrow. She told me many times that I needed to get up early and work on school instead, saying basically "I don't like doing it either and I still do it, why can't you?"

She tried to literally force me ("force" being her word, not mine) to go to several events on campus, because she thought I "needed" to go, and would not take no for an answer. She would tell me over and over again that she was going to "make" me go to an event, and would not talk to me at all for like a whole day except to nag me about it.

Her behavior often just came so out of left field that I was left reeling just trying to process it. I literally felt like I was losing my mind just trying to wrap my head around what would drive such behavior.

She once got so upset she nearly started crying in front of me telling me she "didn't know where I was on campus" when I wasn't in the dorm. A different time, I was working on school and she sent me literally 20 panicked texts and tried to call me at least once while I had put my phone away for literally like an hour, and when she came back into the dorm she told me she'd been convinced that I had committed suicide. (She had absolutely zero reason to think this—I was actually doing much better at the beginning of the semester than I had been in a long time.)

There was also the time she physically grabbed me and tried to drag me out of bed because she knew I had a 9:30am class and didn't think I was up early enough. At least she apologized for that one. :/

I started staying out until around 1am, just walking around campus or sitting in the library until it closed, just to avoid confrontation. Then she started complaining about me returning to the dorm and waking her up, so I ended up just lying in bed on my phone until I could safely sneak to the refrigerator for something to eat and then fall asleep.

I could go on and on. Coming back from fall break, my mom and dad were helping me carry my stuff in and she literally pulled me into the room ahead of them so we could "talk in private" for a bit, and she just??? Lectured me angrily about how a bottle of juice had exploded in the refrigerator while we were gone, and I'd said I would clean the refrigerator, and her parents yelled at her....???

Looking back on it, it feels so ridiculous that I was stuck living with such a crazy and controlling person, but at the time I couldn't imagine her motivations to be malicious. She was friendly half the time and seemed to perceive us to be more than roommates, more like best friends. She would say out of nowhere how much she "loved" me and our relationship. I also was too stressed to think clearly about it. She was acting in ways I didn't know a human being could act, actions that felt so insane I didn't know how to evaluate them.

I think she may have genuinely thought that she could "fix" me and force me to have a "healthy" sleep schedule and habits by endlessly wearing me down about it. (We see how that ended up.)

I really just wanted to be kind because I knew she didn't have very many friends and was feeling isolated, and I didn't want to be an asshole, but I wound up being a doormat. Part of why it was hard for me to be assertive with her and have boundaries was that I knew her own situation wasn't great either. Over time I realized she was basically re-enacting with me all the dysfunctional behaviors her parents directed at her. Sometimes she would act like I was ruining her life and pissing on her whole bloodline, and then would right away flip to talking about how much she "loved" her relationship with me and what good friends we were etc, and would randomly lapse into "silly" behavior and humor that seemed almost, like, weirdly childish.

From observations, her family seemed to use..."silly" stuff to cover up or defuse tension. "Silly" is the word that comes to mind, but I can't really adequately describe this behavior to you, it was a lot more unnerving than that word communicates. They had a lot of running "inside jokes" that were mostly just absolutely nonsensical, like the kind of nonsense that a four-year-old kid would find funny, and there was something very...not genuine about them.

It almost felt like silliness and inside jokes were something they wanted to have, but the context and foundation that made that kind of stuff comfortable and natural wasn't there. The actual relationship she had with her parents seemed to be one of being constantly controlled, micro-managed and shamed.

Also, she and her parents gave me all sorts of gifts. Fancy gourmet baked goods and candies, socks, jewelry, it really started to pile up after a while. It was impossible to refuse the gifts, no matter how politely, and if I hadn't eaten something she would be weirdly confrontational about it. It was Weird.

Idk. Everything about the situation was so weird. They were Christian in a Weird way. Her mom prayed that I would find a boyfriend soon?? And I had never given any indication that I wanted a boyfriend or was in search of one???

Oh yeah, and I also had to give her the sex talk, because her parents apparently had told her nothing about sex outside of the basic reproductive functions of it. (She was 20.) She asked me 1000 sex questions, which did not bother me—I like explaining things to people, and I'm incredibly hard to embarrass—but then she asked how a woman could be a top. And well. I told her. And the CONCEPT of sex toys for some reason made her really upset and she got mad at me, told me not to talk to her about anything sexual ever again, and I was left really baffled because she acted like I had violated a boundary when she had asked the questions.

[omiscurls]

haikyuu!! characters as bed sharing AU’s

taken of pinterest!

characters in question: kiyoomi sakusa, miya atsumu, kenma kozume, suna rintaro, tobio kageyama, kuroo tetsuro, akaashi keiji

kiyoomi sakusa - the “you have too much nightmares, let me try this method on you”

When you look at Sakusa, you wouldn’t guess any of his weaknesses... well except for one maybe

He always speaks so confidently, if he doesn’t feel secure, he just doesn’t speak

So even if you’ve been their manager for... several years, you still know as much about this man’s weaker sides as if you met him yesterday, or even less. 

The surprise on your face when you binge watched a series at night, and you suddenly felt the scream definitely coming from outside your headphones was indescribable 

Was the room next to yours... Sakusa’s?

you thought nothing of it, but night after night, you heard a lot more, you heard crying, ventilating, calling out random names, and finally you decided that not only is this interrupting your sleep, it’s not healthy for the wing spiker either

come on, the next day is game day, he has to be on his best abilities 

nobody wants to deal with grumpy kiyoomi, nobody has the guts

so you remember a method your friend has told you about that their s/o uses on them 

it took a lot of courage, but there you are, about to knock on his door... 

Sakusa flinched hearing knocks on his door. That definitely wasn’t just a comeback from a dream. Someone’s knocking on his door. Was he being too loud? Did he wake someone up? He prays that it’s just someone wanting something, even if it’s around 2AM, and who on earth would want someone at 2AM. 

Normally he would’ve been pissed off, but now he wished for this scenario to come true. 

He put on a hoodie before opening the door, since it was cold outside the sheets, besides, who wants to see him in his underwear, right? Especially if it’s marvel themed-

The look on his face when he sees his crush on the other side of the door is priceless. He can practically feel his face going all red. 

“Can I help you?” he clears his throat and says lazily, pretending to be annoyed by the fact you allegedly woke him up, even though the tears still flow down his cheeks. 

“No, but I can help you” you say, just as embarrassed as he is, and it doesn’t help when he raises his eyebrows like that, so you quickly add “That is, if you like, please feel comfortable to tell me to piss off if I’m being too much, but I have a friend with a problem simmilar to yours and I just...”

“Okay, I’m listening” he interrupts, causing you to look up at him. 

When you explain the idea to him, he’s more than pessimistic, he’s laughing in your face, mumbling something about how he thanks you for your concern, but... 

You took the opportunity that you’re both sitting on his bed, and just lay on your back. 

“Come on, just try” 

“No!” he answers almost immediately, but, as he’s also a man of logic... 

He really has to be on his best tomorrow, and you’re his only hope at the moment. He reluctantly lays down next to you, and your hand guides his face near your neck. 

“Fine, but only so you stop with this idea already. It’s not gonna work.”

You’re both extremely out of your comfort zones, but you’re slowly adjusting. You feel him nuzzle closer, and your hair just instinctly lands in his hair, curling one little curl on your finger. 

His showergel smells amazing, by the way. It puts you to sleep instantly, but you know you can’t be the one to pass out first. After a while of silence, you ask him if his trial run has expired already, but there’s no response. His breath evens out, and you’re too afraid to stir away far enough to check if his eyes are closed. 

“Kiyoomi? Are you asleep?” you ask, but again, there’s no response. 

Oh well. 

The next morning he’s so embarrassed that the idiotic idea worked, he can’t even look you in the eyes at breakfast. 

atsumu miya as “you’ve been so dejected lately i feel too bad to leave you alone at night” 

He didn’t ask for this at all, but yet you ended up being his roommate. 

A roommate who was recently going through an extemely tough time. 

Seriously, even he feels bad seeing you all in tears all the time, mindless look and not paying attention to anything

Even though you weren’t each other’s favorite people in the world before, you ended up getting closer over the fact that he was the only one to see you at the worst moments

You hated that, but what can you do, there’s no safer place to cry in than your dorm

And even though he kinda made fun of it at first, the longer it kept going, the more concerned he’d get

It got to a point where he literally wouldn’t leave you alone 

While still pretending not to like you, of course

Have you eaten? Have you drank something? Have you even left your bed today? How long did you sleep last night? Not at all? You idiot, start taking care of yourself. 

You dumbass, you dummy, you moron, you absolute fricking mess

Some of your friends consider him your boyfriend, judging from the messages you get from him

“Dummy, there’s a granola bar in your bag, better eat it” “Hey idiot, I had to run to practice early today. Are you feeling less shitty than yesterday?” 

He noticed that, as it is logical, your mood proggressively gets worse as you get tired 

And that you actually learned how to cry without sobbing so you don’t wake him up, how thoughtful of you

Well your mistake, now you have an 80kg volleyball player over you. 

“Atsu, what’re you doing?” you ask in a tired voice, covering your face with a pillow. 

“You’re crying.” he states bluntly, staring at you like a four-year-old. 

“Observant, are we?”

“Hey. Dumbass. You didn’t cry for so long already, what happened?” he whispers, sitting by your side, and you can’t mumble words, feeling so ashamed you want to disappear. You fall on your back and pretend not to notice the question. 

He sighs audiably. 

“Alright then, just know you brought this on yourself” he states, and before you can ask why, he’s already laying beside you. 

“W-what’re you doing?” you scream-whisper, right into his blonde hair, and he shivers at the feeling. 

“I’m comforting you, isn’t it obvious, you moron?” he hisses. “Although, I can see my mistake now” he states, and you think he’s gonna go back to his own bed, but no, he grabs you by the waist and rolls over, so now you lay on top of him, flustered as ever, thankful for the light being off, at least he doesn’t see your tomato-like face. 

“But- Atsumu, please go to your own bed” you plea, but he shakes his head, eyes already closed. 

“Nu-uh” he answers “Yours is more comfy, anyway” he jokes, making you chuckle through the tears. 

He puts his hand on the back of your head and puts it on his chest. 

“Goodnight, dipshit” he whispers, and you manage to fall alseep listening to the steady beat of his heart. 

No tears, he’d feel them anyway. 

kenma kozume as “the heater broke and i’m cold as hell, can you come here?”

this should not have happened

the guy looks miserable

but, you see, he’s doesn’t have the biggest amount of muscles in his body, his not as ripped as his highschool friends

body fat? also no, he’s a skinny, fairly tall boy who gets cold really easily

for real, he’s wearing a hoodie at all times, and in winter, he looks like a shell of himself

so you’re over at Kuroo’s house on a New Year’s party

the party ended like an hour ago, everyone is asleep

(Lev’s gonna be so dead when Yaku wakes up and finds the tall guy’s head on his stomach) 

you’re almost sound asleep in Kuroo’s guest bedroom, so gracefully given to you by the host

the only other person in the room is Kenma, who originally slept in Kuroo’s room together with his best friend, but got annoyed by the weird questions him and Bokuto kept asking

so he asked you if he can sleep on the couch in the room 

why wouldn’t you say yes? 

earlier that night Kuroo burnt pizza in the oven, so you all opened almost every window in the house to get the smell to leave

and kinda forgot to close the ones in the bedrooms

but no worries, you have a radiator

...right? 

why is the radiator set on the highest temperature and still stone cold? 

well, doesn’t matter, you can just wrap yourself in the heavy sheets

Kenma, on the other hand, only has a small blanket

And since it’s a party, he’s wearing a shirt, not a hoodie 

The boy’s freezing 

“Hey, are you asleep?” you hear a very quiet whisper coming from the couch. 

“Thought you’re here cause you couldn’t stand the chit-chat, Kenma?” you ask with a grin on your face. 

“Yeah, right. Sorry.” he mumbles and you hear him shift in his spot, visibly annoyed by the circummstances. There’s a moment of silence, in which he can feel his face almost burn down from embarrassment. 

Oh, my god, you sound like you’re annoyed with him here. Areyou? Come on, tell him you aren’t. He should just let you sleep. 

But does he really want to spend the rest of his night feeling his feet hurt from cold? Fuck, Kuroo, you and your stupid pizza. 

He gets up, tightly wrapped in his blanket, and checks the radiator. 

“It’s definitely broke” he sighs, touching the cold surface, and turns back to the couch, falling on it face down, letting out a groan. 

You giggle at his action, and he opens his eyes immediately, hearing the sound of your voice. 

“Kenma... I offered you the bed once already, it’s warmer” you start, but he raises his hand and shakes it in a disagreeing gesture. 

“No no, please, don’t worry” he mumbles against the couch, trying to ignore the, ironically, burning sensation in his legs. Is this a bedroom or is this Antarctica?

“Oh, come on” you say, opening the sheets. “We don’t want you to freeze, do we now?” 

Oh my god, what did you do. There’s so much thoughts racing through his mind right now. Should he do it? It sounds so nice... But should he really?

Fuck it, he thinks, you’re offering, he can’t turn down an offer from you. 

He lazily walks over to the bad and lays down next to you, at a reasonable distance, only to hear you laugh again. He spares you an annoyed glance, and you shake your head slightly, rolling over next to him, covering him with the sheets you have wrapped around yourself so tightly, and using his chest as a pillow. 

Hold on, that’s not what he signed up for. Why are you... How...? 

He hesitantly and gently puts his arm around you, relaxing his body, the scent of your shampoo making him slightly dizzy. 

Please don’t notice how fast his heart is racing. This is fine. It doesn’t mean anything, he can promise. 

rintaro suna as “hey dude, i hear cuddling helps you sleep, wanna try?”

the most chill person out there 

literally you would never have guessed how nervous he was before asking you 

it’s  just another week, another game and another hotel you are all staying in 

and fate is definitely on his side today, since his bedroom is literally next door to yours

he got to your door and left without doing anything about three times before he eventually decided to be a man and knock

has a master plan in his mind

he’s gonna show you a website with an article about how cuddling (allegedly) makes you sleep better 

and he’s just gonna be so causal about it 

he’s just gonna knock, put on an emotionless smirk and ask you, just like he always does

but here’s the think, he’s not so chill on the outside

“how should I call them? their name? a pet name? bro? no, too much” 

but, he does end up knocking 

“Hey, Y/N, what’s up?” you turn your head to the door to see a figure of Suna in only his underwear and an oversize t-shirt with the logo of some metal band. 

“Shouldn’t you be asleep?” you ask, voice hoarse as you were already drifting off. 

“I read this super cool thing, wanna see?” he seems not to mind your comment, as he walks over to your bed and practically throws himself beside you, not minding you laying there, shoving his phone in your hands. 

“... help you fall asleep in just three minutes...” you’re mumbling under your breath as you read the headline. “Rin, this sounds so fake” you laugh, falling back on your pillows, as he sighs. 

“I wanna try, and it’s either you or Kita, and he gives me serial killer vibes” he mutters, earning yet another serie of laughter from you. 

But seeing the serious hint in his eyes, you lift your hands in surrendering gesture. 

“Go on with it, Mr Romantic” you state, watching in amusement as he groans at the comment and burries his face in your pillow. 

You’re sure this is him considering this mission a failed one and giving up, but then he looks up 

“Well, are you coming?” he asks completely serious, and you have nothing left to do than hug him and settle your face in the crook of his neck, not minding as his breathing lifts your hair from time to time and tingles your skin. 

Can someone feel your blush through their skin? You surely hope not. 

tobio kageyama as the almighty “the hotel room has only one king size bed and we need to share”

He never would’ve thought his teammates would betray him like this

What the hell do they mean there’s only two people rooms available and they’re all in pairs already

Honestly, primary school all over again

ugh

His perfectly happy to be sleeping alone, when he finds out you’re his roommate

this is fine tobio, don’t freak out

well he’s composed about it

a little bit of a “tch” and “well I guess there’s nothing we can do about it”

internally he’s a little girl now, but you never would’ve guessed judging by the annoyed grimace on his face

because how does it matter if you’re sleeping in the same room, it’s not like he was planning to run around naked, right?

it all changes once you press the card to open the room, and when he so gentleman-like lets you enter first, you find out there’s only one, big, king sized bed for couples exclusively

the only thing missing are rose petals and candles prepared for newlyweds

you try so so hard not to burst out laughing

when he enters, he becomes as white as the walls around

he can’t process this, what the fu-

bet he’s spending hours at the reception desk explaining it’s a huge mistake

unfortunately, these were the only rooms left, sorry not sorry, you’re sleeping together

and that brings you to the situation you’re in currently

He’s almost over the edge of making a wall of pillows between you two. You can’t help but feel a tiny bit offended by it, but you know he’s probably just super hyper embarrassed.

“Yama, who don’t you trust, me, or yourself?” you ask with a proud grin painting your lips as you sit on your side, sheets tucked around your waist, back rested on the wall behind you.

He gives you an annoyed glance, before answering:

“It’s not that”

Once he says that, he proceeds to somehow nestle himself in, but he looks like one of those dolls that come with a bedroom furnishing, almost lifeless, resting on his back with hands straight down his body, eyes fixed on the ceiling.

“Relax, will you?” you giggle “You have a game tomorrow, grumpy face”

He rolls his eyes.

You shake your head and turn off the light, mumbling a quiet goodnight, as you turn to your side and place a hand under your head, back facing Kageyama.

Well, this is gonna be a long night, or so you think, up until he falls asleep.

You can physically feel him move around, and you think that’s what’s keeping you awake.

It takes a while for you to realize the star valley ball player is getting unconsciously closer, up until you can feel his breath on your neck.

Ironically enough, it’s you who’s all stiff and nervous now, when suddenly you feel his arm go around your waist.

“Oh you’ve gotta be kidding me” you mutter, but he shifts dangerously when you speak, so you have to give up side commentary.

You decided to tease him just a bit. He’s the one who’s gonna be flustered when he wakes up, you’re on a winning side by being awake.

You smile to yourself before shifting your body closer to his. He sighs contently, almost making you laugh.

Oh how you want him to wake up and see already.

tetsuro kuroo as “we fell asleep on the couch together and now my hand is in your hair and you’re breathing directly on my neck”

you’re over studying, or just helping him with something

the point is, you were working all day

at some point he suggests getting pizza

hell yeah, pizza

you order a little bit too much of it, but since you both are suckers for pizza, nobody can back up first

and as you know, people tend to get sleepy after they eat too much

he has a wide couch, so you can both lay beside each other without having to lay ON each other

and as you tend to get a little bit sleepy, you both shift to lay down instead of sitting, still focused on the work, though 

you don’t know why, you don’t know how but it just happens that you fall asleep

you obviously don’t see what happens after that, but Kuroo notices you asleep when he asks you multiple questions and you repeatedly don’t answer, he got it like around question number 4

“Lazy much, huh, sleeping beauty?” he mutters to himself, but smiles unconsciously as he glances at your stoic face 

and as if that subconsciously impacted his brain, soon enough he can’t find it in himself to keep his eyes open as well. 

Kuroo wakes up to an annoying pain in his neck, causing him to hiss and automatically  want to place his hand on the place that ached. Whoops, did he fall asleep on the couch again? Oh well, didn’t he have work to do? 

He lifts his hand as he wanted to, but suddenly he feels something shift beneath it, and when he looks down to see you, with your head rested on his chest, breathing slowly, a peaceful smile on your face. 

Your legs are tangled with his in some unexplicable manner, and as the man of logic he so obviously is, he can’t even begin to understand how that happened. 

Especially why his hand feels so in place, holding you by the waist, closer to himself, and the other one lost somewhere in your hair. 

You shift your head slightly up, and sigh contently, now breathing directly on the exposed part of his neck. He somehow manages to not shiver at the tingling sensation, getting more and more flustered by the second. 

His heart rate inscreases drastically, making him realize he’s stressed like he’d never been before, as he tries to make up his mind about whether to wake you up, gently push you off and let you rest, or maybe stay in place. 

He feels attracted to the last one, but knows it’d only be unfair to you. 

But you could wake up if he moved you, and you had a long day, after all... 

Maybe he’s gonna let you stay there. Not for long, only five... more... minutes...

keiji akashi as “you’re staying over at my place, you take the bed, i’ll sleep on the floor. no, really, i’m comfortable on the floor. GEEZ FINE we’ll both take the bed, ya happy now?

You wanna know what got you in this situation huh

well, you were over for dinner, but it started raining really heavily 

like, really really heavily

and akaashi being the sweetheart that he is, can’t let you go home like that

it’s a long way to the train station, you’re gonna get sick, and what if there’s a traffic accident? he can’t have that

(he just wants to spend more time with you but shh about that) 

doesn’t matter how hard you try to convince him you’re gonna be fine. you’re staying and that’s final 

it’s cute, he’s cute when he’s worried 

well that brings you to where you are currently, already after your shower, dressed in one of akaashi’s t-shirts, oh this feels so couple-ish 

you wait for him to finish with his night time routine in his room, admiring all the posters and childhood pictures he has

he has the first ever selfie bokuto took with him framed 

when he comes back, that’s when the problems start

“Alright, well, let’s get some sleep, you can take my bed, and I’ll take the floor

And that’s what brings us to the guilt rising in your stomach as you settle in the guy’s sheets, inhaling the heavy scent of his shampoo from the pillow under your head. It’s his house, his bed, and yet he’s sleeping on the floor like some random guest. You’re the random guest here, you can’t help but feel like you’re crashing at his place against his will, and you’re making him uncomfortable.

“ ‘Kaashi?” you whisper, making his eyes open wide to see the dark ceiling of his room. There’s silence for a moment, and then he shifts to turn on the light once more.

“Yeah?” he sighs, bringing one hand up to his face to rub his eyes, unable to open them properly because of the sudden flush of light.

“Are you sure you don’t want to sleep on the bed?” you ask shyly, making him chuckle as he shakes his head.

“Yes, yes I’m sure. Goodnight” he states gently, turning on the light once again. This is gonna be a long night, he thinks.

You cannot catch your sleep. Damn it, damn your altruism and all that shit.

“Akaashi no, I can’t-“ you’re cut of by the sound of him laughing.

“Oh my god. Fine. If I move to the bed, will you sleep already?” he whines quietly, and seeing you nod in the dark, he gets up and picks up his pillow.

You get off the bed, wanting to swap places with him, but are held back by his hand.

“No, if you sleep on the floor, i won’t be able to close my eyes even for a second” he forbids gently, moving you back to where you were previously laying.

Oh boy, you both think, this is awkward, but the warmth of his body pressed next to yours makes it hard to be mad at him for stopping you from leaving.

This is gonna be a long night indeed.

[bkdkology]

Spirited Away

Credit to @/bakugoukatsuki-rising for posting the original. I took a look at Audrey’s tweet of the interview with Horikoshi concerning his art for the exhibition, and immediately set out to watch the movie Spirited Away for context.

If you haven’t watched it, I highly recommend it. I was crying before the climax even happened.

When Horikoshi said to pay attention to Uraraka and Deku falling, I was confused. They’re obviously falling, and while there’s plenty of symbolism in the act of falling, I wasn’t convinced that it was everything that was going on here.

Horikoshi also said that this artwork took him the longest, and because of that, and the implication that this was inspired by a film, there was something tugging at my gut telling me there was more. So I sat down at 2am through a near 3 hour film, I wanted to know the context behind some of the things I saw.

I noticed some details in the work prior to watching the movie:

Uraraka is crying while smiling

Deku isn’t crying, which is a huge deal

They’re severely wounded and yet seem content

The world around them is completely intact

They both have floating quirks, and aren’t using them. They’re falling on purpose.

These details just weren’t adding up to me, I couldn’t explain it. Looking at this art work makes me want to cry, and I couldn’t even tell if I wanted to cry because I was sad or happy. It felt like a moment of mourning and acceptance, not loss.

And then I watched the movie.

Oh Horikoshi, you’re terrible at being subtle. The painting is supposed to be a direct reflection from a scene in the movie:

Spirited Away at its core is a movie about unconditional, endless love and generosity. Studio Ghibli films in general are an amazing way to explore the different facets of love that people are capable of.

There aren’t any immediate comparisons to make between the spirit world and the quirk society, there are completely different takeaways from these two settings. The same is applicable to the relationship between Kohaku/Chihiro and Izuchako.

Izuchako is a story about the most tragic form of unrequited love. A love that is difficult to exist not because it can’t be felt between them but because of the burden Izuku carries, and the promise Ochako made to herself.

On the flip side, Chihiro feels that she has always loved Kohaku, even before they met in the spirit world. Kohaku has also always loved her, because despite forgetting his own name, he never forgot Chihiro’a even after years had passed.

As individuals, the characters couldn’t be more different. Kohaku is a powerful lost spirit in search of learning the ways of Yubaba. Izuku was born powerless in a world full of superpowers. Kohaku appears to be cold and arrogant to those around him while caring on the inside. Izuku wears his heart on his sleeve, and openly cares about everyone he meets.

Chihiro is a young girl who was given everything she needed by her parents. Ochako grew up in poverty and picked up habits to ease the monetary burden on her parents.

So while their relationship and characters seem to be vastly different from each other, it certainly means:

There was something about the falling scene that compelled Horikoshi to draw Izuchako.

So what is the significance of this scene?

There are certainly many ways to symbolize the act of falling, but what was the context here?

Chihiro revealing Kohaku’s real name to him causes his dragon scales to scatter like petals, and they begin to fall from the sky together. Kohaku reaches out to her in his now human form and grasps her hands, and they share the story of how they met.

The falling here symbolizes freedom and celebration. Kohaku is perfectly capable of flying, but he takes a moment of complete joy, complete freedom, and shares that moment with Chihiro. They are not afraid of the world beneath them, Chihiro trusts Kohaku with her entire being, and Kohaku would never let Chihiro go. There was no reason to be afraid of falling.

The freedom here is that now Kohaku knows his real name, he’s gotten the power of his life back, and he can be freed from the spirit world. More than anything it solidifies that he and Chihiro will meet again someday.

And then, Chihiro says this:

I personally don’t believe that Chihiro was letting go of Haku in this moment. This was the consolidation of their love for each other. Chihiro always wanted to be reunited with her parents and go back to the human world. This was the moment they realized they’d be able to see each other again.

Later, when Kohaku promises they’d meet again and he tells her to walk away from the spirit world and not look back once, she listened. Her only chance to see him again was to turn back and look before she left, and while she almost did for a second, she forced herself not to. She trusted they would meet again, and left the spirit world without looking back.

The details I noticed before watching the movie clicked in my head.

In the Izuchako painting, the world around them is completely intact because it’s meant to be. It means the world is at peace in this moment. Or that it didn’t matter what was going on, but considering how much care was out into depicting such a perfectly untouched world makes me think it was meant to be seen as peaceful, especially how he painted the sky.

They are falling despite having the capability of flight because that moment belongs to them, and them only.

Their wounds are the physical manifestations of the scars they bear from their journey to become heroes.

And they’re content because:

It feels like Izuku is saying “It’s okay, I’m here.”  And Uraraka is saying. “I’m so happy you are.”

In any case, this is just my interpretation of it. There are HUNDREDS of them all bearing equal weight: this could mean Uraraka letting go of her feelings just as much as it could mean them falling in love. There are people saying Chihiro was letting go of Kohaku because she was going to return to the human world, which is also possible. All of them, they’re all beautiful theories but this is the one I stick to because it feels right in my heart.

As for the reason I felt mourning, it was just my own bkdk heart breaking.

[7cxrhye]

Guys, it’s high time I made a post about my math teacher this year. He’s one of my favorite teachers of all time and I’ve only had him for seven weeks. Here’s what I can tell you about him.

He’s a grad student, which explains a lot but also makes everything ten times funnier because he’s only like five or six years older than us

He always wears flip flops. It was 33 degrees feels-like-28 with snow and slush and he was wearing a polo shirt and jeans and flip flops

He once called trigonometric substitution a “pro gamer move”

He bakes pastries and then posts pictures of them to the class announcements page

He’s Floridian. Enough said

He makes sure to tell us a fun fact every class. Such fun facts have included that he once punched a coyote, he was almost robbed outside of a Turkish bath house, and that he once had a wild turkey in his college dorm room

He sometimes shows up at office hours that aren’t his. My friends and I went to the TAs office hours and he wandered in half way through and started helping us do the homework

Upon being asked why he made the homework so difficult (note: it took me and my friends more than ten hours to do, seven of which were done consecutively in an empty classroom from 7pm to 2am) he responded, “I wanted you guys to know, when thinking about the tests, that I’m the hero but I could have been the villain”

When my friends and I sent him an email with a picture of us in front of the blackboard covered in our attempts at coherent integration at 2am, he responded less than five minutes later and said, “ah I miss those undergrad days”

There is a running joke that we cannot make it through office hours without saying something that would offend him. He leans into the joke and deadpan stares at us whenever we say something stupid. When my friend revealed that she had made several Florida jokes on her exam cheat sheet (as a reference to those office hours) he looked her dead in the eyes and asked, “[name], what the fuck is wrong with you?”

I have not laughed harder in months than when my math teacher looked my friend in the eyes and asked her what the fuck was wrong with her. We were in public. On the sidewalk. It was 9pm after the exam. My other friend was leaning on a tree for support. I could not breathe

Finally, he has successfully made math fun again! My gosh! He’s done it. I have had more than four years of teachers who made math a chore and a strain and who made me question whether I wanted to pursue my goals and my major. This teacher has reminded me of how genuinely fun math can be, and for that he has my immense gratitude and respect

This has been in half a semester. Stay tuned for what happens before the year ends. If I were to make a bingo card I would include “posting a lecture video at ungodly hours of the morning, again.” By god I hope you have a good spring break Mr. [name redacted], you deserve it.

[inter-somniac]

The Lakes

Quackity X Reader

Fandom: MCYT

Warning(s): None

Song: The Lakes by Taylor Swift

Alex loved his home. He loved his heritage. That didn’t mean it didn’t make him nervous when he started dating someone American. Americans weren’t exactly the best with Latinx people. But Alexis’s worries had quickly been cured by you and your insistence that he was still perfect to him either way.

As much as Alex loved Mexico, you had agreed to travel for a while before settling down. Currently you were in England. The plan had been a couple of weeks to see everyone. A couple of weeks had turned into months. Which was fine, you really didn’t mind. But you weren’t near any of the others. Tommy was probably the closest, and he was three hours away. Everyone else was three hours or more farther than that.

“Alex?”

“Hm?”

“Why did you pick here?”

“It’s beautiful…”

“Well, yeah, but there are pretty places closer to Will and Y/F/N and Tommy and Toby and everyone.”

He sighed, a small smile tugging at the edge of his lips. He was about halfway through making something in the kitchen when he looked at you standing there in the doorway to the living room. It was a sight that he really loved seeing.

“I picked this place, not just because it’s beautiful, but because of the history in it. We’re in the Lake District, and if you never got the references in that Taylor Swift song, this is the home to numerous romantic poets...this is supposed to be the most romantic place in England.”

“Oh.” That wasn’t what you’d been expecting. No, you expected him to say something about wanting to live like you were rich when you were young. Not that he wanted to find somewhere incredibly romantic. If that were the case, you’d expect him to pick a place like Paris.

Alex’s cheeks were rosy as he went back to what he was doing. He was a romantic when he wanted to be. And he’d talked to Y/F/N about the best place. The thing about the Lakes was that he could still viably go down to the coast to visit, but it was also far enough away that he could have privacy and intimacy.

He knew about the song of course, and he knew that Y/F/N had spent time up at the Lakes when she’d written a major arc for the SMP, which ended up involving an angsty love story thanks to her time with one of the boys up there. It was a place that made love that much more sweet according to pretty much everyone.

Alex had become a firm believer in that sentiment over the past couple of months. In fact, he had been carrying a ring around in his pocket for over a month, and he’d started seriously writing some music. They were mostly scrapped, but he had a small credit on one of Will’s serious musical endeavors, because Will had loved the line so much he’d wanted to use it writing about his own time at the Lakes.

You were oblivious to all of this, though. You’d simply been appreciating the peacefulness and the tranquility. You didn’t feel so much pressure here. Here you could take your time. And Alex had been so sweet and loving while you’d been here.

“And I wanted to come here to take some of my writing more seriously. But I wasn’t coming without my muse.”

It was far from what you had expected Alex to say. Sure, he could be the stereotypical Latin lover when he wanted, but this was Alexis. He was a big goofball half the time. Hearing him speak about all of these beautiful things struck a chord in you.

“That’s...”

“You don’t have to say anything about it...that’s just why I picked here. Not down somewhere in the middle or the southern edge.”

You slept on the thought, Alex’s slow breathing like an out of tune song next to you. He’d gone to all this trouble just to share this with you. This was special. Incredibly special. Alexis had always made jokes about partners and girlfriends, but no one had ever taken him that seriously.

It was around 2am when you decided to text one of his friends and ask. It was still 8pm in Texas, so you texted Nick. It took him a bit to respond, but he did finally. It was a simple text saying “He’s never going to be more in love.” It was an odd sentiment, considering Nick was known for his humor and way of speaking still sounding so much like a teenage boy in high school.

It was just before 3am when you quietly shut the front door behind you. Windermere was gorgeous, even at night. The chilly air bit at your skin as you walked down towards the lake itself. Sometimes, Windermere just seemed to have answers on its open blue surface. You were looking for an answer in just that place tonight.

“Hey, what are you doing?”

Alex was several yards behind you when you first looked down at the lake. You thought he had still been asleep when you’d slipped out the door. You had hoped he was asleep. He seemed to get up a lot earlier at the Lakes, and still stayed up extremely late some nights. It worried you on the days when he was running off a couple hours and caffeine.

“I was just...thinking.”

“Well, think back at the house. It’s cold and I don’t want you to catch something out here.”

In the reflection of the water, you could see Alex playing with something in his pocket. You turned, motioning to his hand. Even in the dark, you could see his skin flush. Clearly, he hadn’t meant for you to see.

“Alex, what are you hiding.”

“Well, might as well give it a go. This wasn’t how I wanted to do this...but...I bought something over a month ago. I keep it on my pocket pretty much all the time these days.”

Alex slowly pulled a ring from his pocket. It twinkled in the moonlight and his cheeks got even more flushed. But you could see the love and sincerity in his eyes as he waited. He just wanted to know if you would be the one.

“And I want to know if you’ll marry me.”

[nitrochiralfan]

The Day is Dawning [Tokiakari]

All credit to the transualtion of the novel chapter belongs to memera and their hard work don’t repost without crediting them.

That day it had rained since morning. That’s why for the entire day, the sky had been so dark you could not tell if it was noon or night. Right now the time was 2am. Akira breathed out a sigh as he gazed out the window. Occasionally, a straight line of light from the east flashed through the rain.

Isn’t he kind of late?

As Motomi worked as a journalist, it wasn’t surprising that he often came home after midnight, but today’s case was supposed to be a simple one.

Akira’s eyes darted over and over to the clock hanging on the wall.

So slow.

In this room lighted by only a small lamp, Akira had lost count of how many times he had sighed as he looked at the empty road outside through his own reflection on the window. They had moved here for only a month, but it wouldn’t be long before they moved again.

What’s the next case? Your work seems to be going smoothly.

At first Akira had simply been cluelessly following along, but he had quickly become a proper assistant. It had been years since the happenings in Toshima. It wasn’t always peaceful, but their life had never had any serious problems.

Travelling around with Motomi had been quite exciting and fun.At one point he even thought he could do this forever.However, sometimes the little flickers of doubt would cross his mind.

There’s no such thing as forever. Surely someday, something bad would happen.

Usually Akira could erase those thoughts quickly, but today, he couldn’t even push them away. The thoughts were quickly piling up instead.

I hate this feeling, but what if something bad had really happened?

Unable to suppress the bad feelings, Akira clenched his teeth as he stood in the dark watching the rain fall outside.

It was then that it happened. A faint sound came from the front door. Was it the sound of footsteps? It seemed too uneven and irregular for that. Just as Akira was cautiously approaching the door, an unnatural sound thumped against the door.

“….!”

Akira tensed up. He pinned his eyes at the door instinctively. The door stood in the dimly lit hall way, as the sound of someone shaking the door repeatedly could be heard.

Is it a robber or a thug?

Akira held his breath and watched silently as the door unlocked and slowly opened. Akira concentrated hard, his body ready to pounce.

The silhouette that the dim lights were showing was——

Akira breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that face.

It was Motomi.

Was that unsteady gait because he’s drunk?

Motomi’s brows were furrowed as he tried to call out Akira’s name.

Motomi did not seem to enter the room. His posture was unnatural, and he leaned heavily against the door. A droplet dripped down from his right side. At first Akira had thought it was a raindrop, but as soon as the light in the room hit Motomi, Akira knew he was wrong.

——It was blood.

“Old man…!?”

“Akira… sorry but… could you lend me a hand?”

Motomi’s voice was slow and unconcerned, a tone completely opposite to the severity of the situation. Akira immediately went up and put Motomi’s outstretched arm around his shoulder. The dark orange shirt he wore under his coat had a huge black stain on it. Just that alone drew Akira’s attention to the blood.

Motomi leaned against Akira and they moved slowly, his face frowning and his one eye squeezed shut in pain. Motomi gave a bitter laugh.

“Ow…ouch ouch. They really did me in this time.”

“What in the world happened?”

“Mm, well, you know…”

The talk can wait. Right now the important thing was to tend to these wounds. Carefully supporting this body so much bigger than his, Akira led Motomi to the bedroom.

“Man, I’m beat.”

Motomi breathed out a large puff of smoke from the cigarette he had taken a deep puff from, and fell onto the bed he was leaning on. Akira took out some bandages from the first aid kit and sighed as he closed the lid. They had prepared this kit in case of any injuries on their travels.

The hospital was closed at this hour of night, but thankfully his injuries were not too serious.

Rest for now, we can go see a doctor tomorrow.

Motomi’s right torso had been slashed with a knife.

Akira had since wrapped it in bandages cleanly. Motomi had been bleeding so bad before the bandages, yet now after it was so nicely wrapped up in white, it almost looked like there hadn’t been a wound at all. But one look at the blood-soaked towel used to clean the wounds, and you would know that wasn’t true.

“So?”

“Huh?”

“Don’t ‘huh’ me.”

Akira glared at Motomi, who was lying on the bed acting like there wasn’t a problem. Even without using words, it was obvious Akira had a billion questions he was demanding answers to. Akira haphazardly left the first aid kit on the side table and sat down lightly on the bed.

“Mmm? Well yeah…” Motomi scratched his nose with the hand holding his cigarette and replied lazily, “Maybe it was just a random attacker or somethin’. I dunno.”

——Something must’ve definitely happened, Akira thought.

If Motomi was brushing it off like that, it must’ve been something he found hard to talk about. But that was also why the silence that Akira returned was filled with serious anger. He wasn’t mad that Motomi was pretending to make light of the situation, he was mad that it was something so bad that would make Motomi clamp up in silence. Motomi peaked at Akira, saw his glare, and quickly looked away.

Silence.

Akira held his glare steady, never looking away. The smoke from Motomi’s cigarette filled the space between them.

Motomi emptied his cigarette ashes into an empty can on the side table. Even a movement as light as this, sounded extremely loud in their silence. It was a brief minute, but it felt like an endless moment of tension and nerves.

“Geez, I just don’t know what to do with you.”

Motomi let out a laugh of defeat as he put out his cigarette on the brim of the empty can. His brows were furrowed as he tried to get up.

“Does it hurt?”

“…Sort of. But I’m fine.”

Motomi supported himself up with an elbow on the edge of the bed, and leaned against the wall. He looked straight into Akira’s eyes. “Well, the situation was like this. I was attacked suddenly. There was a back alley, away from the main road. It was dark and narrow. They hit me from the back when I was passing through.”

“Did you see their face?”

“It was too dark and too sudden. I didn’t. …But well my guess is…”

Motomi stopped there, rubbing his chin like he was thinking of something.

“Your guess is…?”

“Nah, it just feels like it was a face I had seen before somewhere. …My guess is it’s someone from Rabbit, maybe.”

“Rabbit…”

——The pharmaceutical company, Rabbit. A big-named company that everyone knew. In reality, it was a coverup for the research institute ENED, that was the cause of all the tragedies in Toshima.

“But why would they do that to you, old man?”

“Well, I can think of a million reasons why. After all, I am a journalist of the truth, ya know?”

Saying that, Motomi shrugged his shoulders in a joking way.

I want to bring to light the truths that were twisted or silenced —— That motto of his was what led Motomi to do this line of work even to this day. Of course, he had also tried to reveal as much as he could about what had happened in Toshima, even though that had put his life at risk. It was also the reason why they never stayed put in one place too long. But because they had never actually gotten seriously injured before, Akira had grown complacent and ignored all the occasional little worries that would appear in his head.

If only we could just keep on living like this peacefully and carefree, he had thought.

But of course…

“Well, this could also be considered a scoop! ‘Employee of a seemingly-good company, attacks a civilian!’ or something like that.”

“Is it really the time to be joking?”

“Mm?”

The words that escaped Akira’s lips sounded calm, but inside he was mad at how Motomi always acted like everything was a joke and nothing was serious to him. Like his wound just now. Even though it wasn’t a deep injury, he had lost a lot of blood.

So much blood.

…Blood…

“…Hey. Akira?”

The sight of Motomi’s bandages was wavering in Akira’s vision.

Motomi was frowning as he peaked at Akira’s face.

Under all that white bandage, was all red. The white hides the red; the color of emptiness. Suddenly, Akira’s anger evaporated and he felt absolutely nothing. He felt separated from his vision and from his consciousness, as if he had gone into someone else’s body. An image appeared, overlapping with what his eyes were actually seeing before him. A world covered in red. A reality that felt so far away. The scene that was flashing before his eyes was not that of the room he was in.

It was dark, and dirty; a scene of Toshima.

“Oi! What’s wrong?!”

Motomi’s voice was far, far away. Akira felt like his consciousness was being swallowed up. A nausea started to bubble up in him. It felt intolerable.

“Akira? Akira!”

When Akira’s eyes opened, the first thing he saw was the beige ceiling, dimly lit by the room lamp.

—— This isn’t Toshima.

When Akira realized this, he slowly let out the breath he had been holding.

Akira had covered his eyes with an arm. When he blocked his sight this way, he could feel his heartbeat was pounding faster than usual. On that same arm, Akira felt something dry and warm touch him.

“…Are you alright?”

When Akira uncovered his eyes, he was looking right into Motomi’s gentle eyes above him.

“…Old man, what about your wound?”

“Idiot. Worry about yourself right now, not me.”

Even though Motomi’s words sounded surprised, it was dipped with concern. Motomi lifted the hand he was holding Akira’s arm with, and touched his forehead.

“You don’t seem to have a fever. How are you feeling?”

“I’m ok.”

“Do you want to eat something?”

“No.”

“But let me guess, you haven’t eaten a thing since morning right? The contents of the fridge and the food stocked up haven’t changed since I left.” Motomi looked so brusque, yet because of his work he had a surprising eye for detail.

Weirdly touched by this thought, Akira shook his head.

Although Akira had always been this way, always having little to no appetite, it was especially so when he was left alone. He just simply did not feel like eating when he was alone, and he often went the whole day without food.

Although he was usually alright without food, today he just felt rather out of it. He was starting to feel like he might have a fever.

“Even if it’s just a bite, you have to eat something. Hang on.”

This time Motomi really sounded teasing. He got up as if to go to the kitchen, but he suddenly stopped in his tracks and turned around, looking surprised.

Confused, Akira followed Motomi’s eyes right down to…

Akira quickly let go of his hand.

Instinctively, he had grabbed Motomi’s shirt. Maybe it was the fever frying his brain, but he himself had not realized what he had done.

——He’s going to tease me…

Although Akira had braced himself, Motomi said nothing, but instead cracked a small smile. He lowered his big hand and patted Akira’s head.

“What’s wrong? Are you worried?”

“…….”

“Well we did have a smooth trip so far.”

Even though Akira did not say a word, Motomi probably knew what he was thinking. Motomi sat back down on the bed. The bed springs bounced lightly. Because he was wearing a shirt, the badges on his torso were not visible.

“Well, anyway, I kinda figured something like that would happen one day. …But really, relax! It’s nothing for you worry about at all!”

His rugged fingertips brushed against Akira’s cheek.

“I said I would bring you with me, even to my grave, right? A man never goes back on his words. Anyway you’re the dangerous one.”

“What the heck does that mean?”

“It means I can’t leave you alone. You’re always so freaking stubborn, yet also surprisingly frail.”

Akira opened his mouth to argue, but he could not find the words, so he averted his eyes instead. He could not disagree. After all, he had just passed out for no reason.

“I won’t die that easily even if I’m killed.” Motomi laughed.

Akira glared at him. “Stop that.”

“Hm?”

“Don’t talk about dying and stuff.”

Motomi might have been trying to be funny, but Akira thought it was extremely unpleasant. It was not something Akira thought one should be joking about. Motomi looked surprised for one second, then he quickly resumed his smile.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

Two thick arms slid around Akira, and carefully pulled him into a huge hug.

Akira instinctively wanted to struggle against it, but his body went limp as it was engulfed in Motomi’s.

I almost forgot he was injured. Better not struggle.

But even if Motomi had not been injured, Akira somehow guessed that he would probably not have struggled either. Akira rested his chin on the strong shoulders before him. Usually at this point, Motomi would be teasing Akira, but instead of doing that, he was quietly and gently patting Akira’s back.

“Ok, how about this. I won’t die. You won’t die either. Until the day you tell us to go and die, we will keep living on for a hundred, no, a thousand years. Yeah?”

“I don’t want to live for that long.”

“Haha, I see.”

Akira could feel Motomi’s warmth from the arm he was resting his cheek on. He was wrapped in Motomi’s smell.

To be honest, Akira was surprised at himself. Despite that bad memory that had flooded his head just as he was about to pass out, Akira suddenly felt like everything was ok now. He felt like he could “exist together” with this memory. But it was just too vivid to think that way. Without losing its color, the pain would slowly but gradually overflow.

But was that alright? Akira thought. No, more like, it is alright. These wounds embedded deeply in him from all that he had lost, Akira had decided to accept and live with them from the day he left Toshima.

And thus, this pain and this fear, they were necessary. He must never forget them. They were the undeniable proof that right now, he was breathing and living.

And right now, he had someone who could share his pain and support him. Just this alone filled Akira with joy.

If Motomi said he was ok, then Akira wanted to accept that and wanted to believe in him.

Akira found it funny and a little strange that he was now able to to think this way. The large hand that was patting Akira’s back, moved up to caress his cheek. The distance between them shortened.

Akira waited for Motomi’s gentle eyes to close, then he too, did the same.

“…nn…”

They touched. Their lips met again and again. Slowly Akira got used to the prodding tongue that carefully pushed into his mouth. Motomi’s rugged fingers treated Akira like he was glass, occasionally a bit rough, but always gentle. These fingers ran through Akira’s hair, clasping. The occasional wet sounds made Akira feel embarrassed, but their intertwining, fluttering tongues quickly made that embarrassment disappear.

“…I can’t get enough of you, seriously.”

The words that Motomi had blurted out in the heat of their kiss lit a fire in the pits of Akira’s belly.

He’s always like that. He always says things that he knew would embarrass Akira. And worse, he always knew the worst time to do it.

“…That’s enough.”

Akira had pushed his arms out, trying to get away, but even his entire resistance was swallowed up in an embrace.

“Let go.”

“Sure, sure.”

“I’m telling you to let go.”

“Well that’s going to be a problem. ‘Cause I’m mad…”

“…Mad about what?”

“This old man. Is mad. About you.”

“…….”

Clearly Akira’s words were not getting into Motomi’s head. He was starting to feel super annoyed, and he let out a loud sigh. As if to scoop up all of Akira’s sighs, Motomi broke into a small smile as he pressed their lips together again.

As Akira slowly gave in, he thought, I don’t exactly hate this.

When did I start to feel comfortable with this feeling of excitement?

When did I start to feel relief whenever Motomi’s hands touched me?

This is how two people shared their feelings and accepted one another.

Since when did I start to realize this?

After a long kiss, Akira felt the springs of the bed on his back. He took in a deep breath.

———

“You know, I’ve always thought this.”

“Thought what?”

“That your cooking is really bad, you know….?”

“……”

Akira pouted and muttered unhappily to himself.

“Well fine, then don’t eat it.” Akira said, as he slammed the table with one hand and stood up.

Who was it that said they were busy so they wanted me to cook?

When they had just come back from the hospital, a work call had come in. Akira had tried to tell Motomi he should rest instead, but it was a major client so Motomi could not refuse. Akira narrowed his eyes at the gentle sunshine coming in from the window. The sky was so clear today that the dark rain from yesterday felt like a lie. Ever since he started living with Motomi, he had tried to do housework. Maybe it was because Akira never had a homely lifestyle before, but no matter how he tried he just could not get better at it.

Especially when it came to food.

Akira had always felt he was ok even if he didn’t eat. Needless to say, he did not care about the taste either.

Motomi raised a brow and seemed to want to say something but he couldn’t decide how to put it.

“Well I mean……, the person who marries you is gonna suffer.”

“Not really. It’s not confirmed that I’ll be the one doing the cooking.”

“Hey you never know. Housework and child raising is too hard for only one party. It’s important to share the workload, you know?”

After swallowing the ‘thing’ on his spoon, Motomi made a weird face. He then pressed his index finger to his wrinkled brow in a deliberate manner. It got on Akira’s nerves the way Motomi was talking him to like he was arguing with a child.

“In the first place, who would I even marry?”

“Hmm, who knows?”

“……”

Hearing that answer, Akira grew increasingly irritated.

When he said they would be together to the grave, didn’t he mean they’d be together till death do us part? Wasn’t it Motomi who said that?

But despite that, it’s not like Akira had ever gave any thought about their relationship or anything like that. It’s not like Akira had ever expected ‘Forever’ or other words like that. He just thought he wanted them to be together, for as long as possible. That was all. However, hearing such words and their vague meaning wasn’t pleasant at all.

Was it ok for the two of them to be together? Or was it actually not ok, but they just kind of ended up together? Such thoughts started to flood Akira’s head. Leaning with one elbow on the table, Motomi looked up at Akira, grinning.

“Ohh what a poor thing! I feel so sorry for the poor person who has to marry you.”

Listening to what was Motomi’s obvious teasing, Akira’s irritation turned into anger.

I was an idiot to think about our relationship so seriously!

“Old man.”

“Hm?”

“Are you done?”

“With what?”

“…Are you DONE—“

With a swoop, Motomi had suddenly stood up and slipped his arm under Akira’s thigh and arm. Akira was so shocked he forgot what he was about to say, letting his guard down. In a scoop, Motomi picked Akira right up.

“……oof, you’re really heavy.”

“Yeah no shit. PUT ME DOWN!”

Motomi grimaced and gave a bitter laugh.

He was injured just yesterday. It wouldn’t be a surprise if doing this was painful. “Ow ow ow. Don’t struggle, it makes my wound hurt more. Well anyway, don’t you think there’s at least one of these poor sobs in the world who would? Huh Akira?”

“…What?”

“I mean if it was me I’d even cook delicious food.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Akira was so busy trying to figure out how to get down that he was not really getting what Motomi was talking about. In fact, Motomi’s words were going in his right ear and exiting right out the left.

Motomi happily squinted at Akira struggling in his arms and the corners of his mouth raised  into a grin.

“In fact, how about we get married right now?”

“!?”

The words were so shocking that it snapped Akira right back into attention. He stared at Motomi’s face.

What the heck was this old man talking about?

…Was my cooking that bad that it had made him go strange?

While these thoughts were racing through Akira’s mind, Motomi’s grin got wider and wider. Akira suddenly got really mad, and ignoring Motomi’s injuries he struggled wildly to get out of Motomi’s grip.

Motomi watched Akira’s reaction but continue going on about how painful his wound was, as he quietly adjusted his balance and tightened his grip so that Akira could not get away.

“Idiot! Let go!”

“Hahaha!”

Motomi’s joyful laughter reverberated from the rampaging Akira under his chin, all the way out the open window, into the bright blue sky.

END

First Publication: Cool-B 2005 vol. 3 / 2005 August 4th

——

The Day is Dawning Explanation

This was a short story published in Cool-B. The theme was Motomi and Akira.

I was trying to write that Akira, who was completely indifferent to the warmth and connection to other people, gradually beginning to realize that it was ‘good thing” after being near Motomi. And once he slowly began to accept it, he would start to try approaching people on his own accord. Akira would also start to worry about how vague the future is, and I think this shows a change in how he thinks now.

I also did not plan for Motomi to say “Let’s get married” at all, but somehow Motomi just ended up saying it (LOL). When it comes to Motomi, he seems to write himself often, just like his “Bring you with me to the grave” words.

I chose this title (Tokiakari) after seeing the dictionary explanation: “As dawn breaks, the eastern sky becomes slightly brighter, or, when it’s raining, the clouds occasionally part, and the sky become brighter”.

—Fuchii Kabura

[heroes-of-olympus-next-gen]

Our baby is going to Harvard

Another cute solangelo one-shot

It all started when she was 4. Bianca’s signature stomp through the house announced her presence even before she stepped into the home office where Will was doing some research for his upcoming surgery. “Hey, Bee.”

Bianca completely ignored her dad and continued minding her own business. Will was curious what she was up to. She walked around the room and stared at the hundreds of books Nico had at his side of the office. After that, she walked to Will’s side and saw a framed piece of paper that sparked her interest. She pointed at it and turned to Will. “What is this?”

Will kneeled to her level as answering his daughter’s questions was far more interesting than any surgery in the world. Then he noticed what piece of paper she was talking about. “It’s my diploma from Harvard.”

“What is Harvard?” She asked in return.

“It’s the university I went to. I had to go there so that I could become a doctor.” He explained to her. Will going to Harvard Med School was a miracle itself as his hopes were really low considering his dream university. You had to be extremely good to get there and Will’s grades in most subjects besides Biology weren’t exactly Harvard like. When he had gotten his letter of admission he thought that they had made a mistake, but he was glad that he just managed to get in.

“I’m going to go to Harvard too, daddy.” His 4-year-old announced.

“You’re?”

“Yes, and I’m going to get a diploma exactly like yours.”

“I’m sure about it.” He kissed her on the cheek before she continued what she was doing before she went in the office.

-

The years went by, and Bianca continued to say that she was going to get into Harvard. It had turned into her wildest dream.

It was a hot day in August. It was the year Bianca had turned 12. It was the year she had decided that she was too old to do the same things as her younger siblings. Some family friends had taken Jasmine and Ryder with them for the weekend as they had tickets in a show Bianca had no interest in watching. Nico had left to teach a lecture in Cambridge for two weeks, so Will and Bianca had the weekend to themselves.

“Do you want to do something together?” Will asked her.

“It depends. What do you have in mind?”

“I can’t tell, it’s a surprise. But it involves a road trip.” That was the only clue he had given her.

“Sure, why not.”

The streets were empty which made their journey even smoother. Bianca was trying to find out where they were going, but every time she was close to figuring out their destination Will was taking a different turn making it impossible to guess. After 4 hours on the road, Will stopped the engine. “Where are we?”

“You’re going to find out in two minutes. Trust me.” They both got out of the car.

“You’re kidding, right?” Bianca realised where they went as soon as she saw the distinctive gate. “You brought me to Harvard? It can’t be real!”

“It’s real and it’s right in front of you.” Will smiled as he saw the excitement in his daughter’s eyes. “Would you rather be anywhere else?”

“It’s so big. I can’t believe it.”

“Want to go inside?”

-

Will’s shift at the hospital ended at 2am so he managed to get inside the house 30 minutes later. As he was making his way to his and Nico’s room he noticed that light was coming out of Bianca’s room.

He gently opened the door. He saw his 16-year-old daughter in bed wearing his Harvard sweatshirt that she had stolen a while ago. Around her there were several books, and the screen of her laptop was still on. He put the books and the laptop on her desk and put the blanket over her.

-

Bianca was determined to do everything in her power to get into her dream school. But there was nothing left to do. In a few seconds, the letter that would decide for her future would arrive at her house. She only had to wait. But the wait was horrible. She was making hundreds of thousands of scenarios inside her mind of what could happen. A part of her didn’t want to open it.

Nico took the letter from her hands. “I think you should open Harvard last. If you open it first you won’t open any of the other letters.” He warned her.

“Fine.” Will handed her Yale which was her safety school in case she didn’t get accepted into Harvard. She tore the envelope and opened the letter. “I got into Yale.” She also got in Princeton and Stanford. But the letters of acceptance didn’t calm her nerves. The mighty Harvard letter was laying in front of her. That’s all she had ever wanted. Everything she had worked for. “I don’t think I’m going to open it. I don’t want to know.” She exclaimed.

“Bee, this is what you have worked for all these years. I’m 100% sure that you got in, but in case you don’t get in, you’re going to an equally good school.” Will reassured her.

“You already got into Yale, Princeton and Stanford. If you don’t open the letter you’ll never know what it says.” Nico said.

Bianca took cautiously the letter in her hands. She opened it and started reading the first line. After she reached the end of the sentence she couldn’t breathe or feel the earth under her feet.

“What does it say?”

She closed the letter. “I got in!” She announced overexcited with tears of joy in her eyes.

[dameronology]

tea & whiskey {jack daniels x reader} - 1

part one: an insight into how microwaving tea should be a capital crime (fem! reader) 

song for this chapter - ldn by lily allen

summary: you’re Percival; reigning queen of the Kingsman, certified bad-ass and one of the most self-sufficient women to have ever graced the City of London. A mission with the Statesmen is a chance to further your career and tighten your grip on international success - it’s a shame that Jack Daniels already has his eyes on the throne. He also has his eyes on you, and it proves to be a problem for you both. {series masterlist}

this has all the kingsman characters but doesn’t follow the canon of golden circle. eggsy, tequila, champ, merlin etc all crop up throughout the series as well! if u want to be tagged, gimme a shout 

- jazz

You didn’t usually answer the door when someone knocked after 11PM. 

It was just common sense, really. Only serial killers, creeps and people who had the wrong address would knock that late. You could have taken on any of those three regardless - you were a bad-ass after all - but you were also busy. You’d been tirelessly working all day at the office, and the grind didn’t stop just because you’d got home. The stack of paperwork beside your computer felt like it was never ending and you simply didn’t have the time to answer the door. Working as Kingsman was more of a lifestyle than it was a job.

‘Oi!’

You almost jumped out your seat when the banging moved to the window beside your desk. It overlooked your front lawn and the quiet street you lived on - well, as quiet as a street in central London could be. Classic to the city, rain was lashing down on the glass, obscuring your view of whoever your visitor was. 

Right, you could add Eggsy Unwin to the list of people who knocked this late. 

‘What the hell, Eggsy?!’ You sighed, opening the front door. Your colleague quickly rushed from where he was standing by the window, elbowing past you and into the dry warmth of your house. ‘It’s almost midnight-’

‘- I’ve been calling you for hours!’ The agent exclaimed. 

‘I’ve been working all day.’ You replied. 

It wasn’t the first time he’d turned up at your doorstep at a stupid hour. Eggsy was your colleague, but first and foremost, he was your best friend. He had a tendency to drive you up the fucking wall and right back down again, and had done since you were in your school years, but he’d always been a little dependent on you. Whether it had been letting him crash on your sofa when his stepfather became too much, or giving him a lift home from the police station at 2AM after he’d been arrested, you always had his back. He had yours too, but you rarely needed it. Even after becoming a member of the Kingsman and essentially saving the world, you were still the first person he came too. 

After wrapping Eggsy up in a towel and escorting him to the kitchen, you placed a mug of warm tea on the table and sat beside him. Work could wait - for an hour or so at least. Chasing an internationally-reclaimed terrorist certainly took precedence over whatever your friend’s problems were, but if he needed you, he needed you. Bros before hoes might not have been the perfect saying for the situation, but the sentiment was definitely there. 

‘What’s happened now?’ You quirked an eyebrow. ‘I know it ain’t an arrest because you would have called from the station otherwise.’

Eggsy thinned his eyes at you. ‘I haven’t been arrested in two years.’

‘So what was it?’

‘I had a fight with Tilde.’ He admitted. ‘I don’t know what happened, but she’s mad at me.’

‘Were you talking before she got mad?’

‘Yeah.’

You raised your mug in the air. ‘That’s probably it then.’

‘Y/N!’ He swatted your hand away, causing tea to spill out onto the table. 

You sighed. ‘D’you wanna talk about it?’

‘No, I just need a place to crash.’

You stood up, leaning over the table to give his shoulder a squeeze. ‘You know where the spare room is, right?’

‘That’s it?’ He pouted. ‘Tea and a squeeze on the shoulder? My life is falling apart!’

‘Don’t be a drama queen.’ You replied. ‘I have to work - and you should be too. We’re close to getting Calahan.’

Calahan was the codename for the terrorist you’d been tracking - at least his current one. The man had worked under several aliases, jumping from country to country before finally falling under the jurisdiction of the British secret services. The MI5 and Scotland Yard were too well known to work such a sensitive case; the location of their offices were publicly known, making it easier for Calahan to slip in double agents. The civilians, however, had no knowledge on the Kingsmen. A tailor’s shop was a perfectly good front for a place to set up base and track the man down. 

Thanks to your success on your previous missions, Arthur had put you in charge of finding him, with Eggsy assigned as your partner. He was just as good an agent as you, but you had little sympathy for his domestic issues. 

‘I was working on it all day.’ Eggsy held his hands up in surrender. ‘But with all due respect, Percival, I don’t work into the late hours of the night. I know how to switch off.’

‘That’s because you’re a man, Eggsy.’ You reminded him. ‘I am one of three women at Kingsman.’

‘That’s still three more than there used to be.’ 

‘You’ve already pissed off one extremely patient woman tonight.’ You warned him, referring to Tilde. ‘Do you want to go two for two?’

‘No.’ He huffed. ‘Women are just complicated.’

‘Or maybe men are just dumb.’ You smiled sweetly, before brushing a hand through his hair. ‘You should get some rest.’

‘So should you.’

‘I’m fine.’ You shook your head. ‘I’ve got a meeting with Merlin in the morning. We’ll have to leave at eight.’

‘Do I have to go? Merlin hasn’t said anything to me-’

‘- yes.’

‘Why?’

‘Because I said so.’

He couldn’t argue with that. 

--

The following morning, you were headed for the Kingsman headquarters by 9AM. Having filled Eggsy with some coffee and half a bacon-sandwich, he had cheered up considerably. You did feel for him - he had been right when he said that women were confusing - but your attention was still very much on work. That was the norm, really. You lived and breathed for your job. It wasn’t your whole identity but it was certainly your whole life. You were recruited at eighteen and now, it was all you knew. The other agents were your family. 

‘C’mon, Eggsy!’ You demanded, practically leaping out your car. Your arms were piled high with files, keys dangling from your fingers as you kicked the door to the Mustang shut. It had been a present from Kingsmen for a particularly successful mission. 

‘There’s no rush.’ Eggsy chided from behind you. ‘You should enjoy a little leisurely stroll once in a while. It might do that vein on your forehead some good.’ 

Whilst you were decked out in a blazer and black jeans, Eggsy was in his usual snapback and sports jacket. He trailed beside you, hands stuffed in his pockets as you both slipped inside the shop. It was quiet inside, the only sounds coming from the bell on the door and the sound of your heels on the polished wooden floors. You didn’t just wear them because they made your legs look endless - they doubled up as weapons too. Merlin hadn’t done anything special to them, it was just that anything was a blade if you tried hard enough. Your five inch Christian Louboutins were no different. The fact the bottoms were already red was purely a convenient coincidence. 

‘She still hasn’t called me.’ Eggsy murmured. 

‘I’m sure she will.’ You gave his arm a light squeeze. ‘Tilde loves you, Egghead.’ 

‘Fucking ‘ell.’ He let out a snort. ‘You haven’t called me that in years.’

The two of you made your way down the hall and towards the meeting room. Merlin was already sitting at the table, pens and notepads laid out in front of him. Considering that you’d worked together for years, you hardly knew the man. He was always working, always building new gadgets or arranging missions. Did he ever sleep? You wouldn’t have been surprised if it turned out that he’d been a droid this whole time. Someone had mentioned his name being Hamish once, but he didn’t seem like a Hamish. You always pegged him as more of a...Simon. Or a Mark. 

‘You two are late.’ He greeted you. 

‘It’s nine o’clock.’ You shot back, dropping into the seat opposite him. 

‘Early is on time.’ Merlin folded his arms across his chest. ‘On time is late.’

You rolled your eyes at the agent. ‘You know how London traffic can be.’

Choosing to ignore your comment, the Scotsman hit a few buttons on the table in front of him. The whiteboard in front of you jumped to life, lighting up with a picture of New York City - specifically, Midtown. You’d been to the city several times for work, usually to do recon or on protection details for British politicians before diplomatic visits. Outside of that, any missions in North America were outside of the Kingmen’s authority. That was when it fell to the USA’s secret services - a bunch of people you weren’t particularly fond of working with. 

‘Calahan slipped out of the country.’ Merlin stated. ‘He’s been spotted in Manhattan by several of our contacts at the Bureau.’ 

‘What?!’ You guffawed. ‘I thought we had tabs on him. You told me we had tabs on him-’

‘- let me finish, Percival.’ He cut you off. ‘We let him.’

‘You…’ you scoffed in disbelief. ‘You let a known terrorist escape the borders?! You know that I’ve had tabs on him for months! Are you trying to waste my time?’

‘Calm down, agent!’ Merlin repeated, this time in a more firm tone. It was easy to let your temper get the best of you - but at the same time, it was the very thing that had allowed you to force your colleagues into submission. ‘He has more charges on his back in American jurisdiction. We have a better chance of convicting him over there.’

‘You could have told me that before I spent six months tailing him.’ You dropped back in your chair, folding your arms tightly across your chest. 

‘Your mission isn’t over.’ Merlin replied. ‘You know more about Calahan than any men here or across the pond. I want you posted in New York for a few months.’

‘Oh?’ You sat up, interest peaked. 

Working internationally was usually the first step to becoming a senior agent. It was one thing to commandeer the respect of your colleagues but to throw your name into the ring on a global scale? That was how you made it big time - and big time meant big time. Your work would go from being based in London, to taking you all over the world. Kingsman who worked on an international level could be in Moscow one day and Bogota the next. Once they retired, they were legends. It was the kind of success you’d dreamed of your whole life.

And New York was the first stepping stone. 

‘It’s only if you want it, of course.’ Merlin pulled you from your thoughts. ‘The Statesman have agreed to accommodate you, should you choose to accept.’

‘Statesmen?’ You tried to hide the displeasement in your face. ‘Like...the cowboys?’

‘Is there a problem, Percival?’

‘No!’ You quickly replied. ‘It’s just...I worked with one of them once. It wasn’t great.’

‘Here we go.’ Eggsy murmured from beside you. ‘She witnessed Agent Tequila make tea in the microwave.’

‘And I swore never to work with them again.’ You hissed under your breath, fists clenching.

‘I can see how that would be disturbing.’ Merlin agreed. ‘Though I’m not entirely sure it’s enough reason to turn down a potentially career changing mission.’

‘No, you’re right.’ You nodded. ‘But I can bring my own kettle, right?’

--

‘I can’t believe you brought your own fucking kettle.’

‘And I can’t believe that Merlin is making me drag you along-’

‘- it’s only for a week.’ Eggsy held his hands up in defense.

Eggsy, who had momentarily forgotten his relationship woes, had been posted out in the city with you for the first five or six days. Merlin and Arthur had been pretty insistent on him joining you - something about making sure you didn’t blow your lid at a cowboy. It was funny, because you were usually the one babysitting him. That being said, deep down you were glad to have him there with you. It would have made settling in a little easier. 

You were moving faster than him, the sound of your heels clicking on the marble floors of the Statesman headquarters as you floated towards the front desk. The building was right in central Manhattan, bang in the middle of all the beautiful things New York had to offer. Not that you were going to experience many of them - you were here to work, after all. 

‘Percival!’ Agent Tequila was posted by the front desk, a grin spread across his face as your eyes met. ‘And...I know they told me your name, but I’ve forgotten.’

‘He’s Galahad 2.0.’ You stuck your hand out to Tequila, offering him the kettle. ‘This is for you.’

‘A...a kettle?’ The agent gave you an odd look. 

‘If I’m going to be working with you for the next few months, I cannot witness you making tea in a microwave.’ You explained. ‘I may murder you in your sleep otherwise.’

‘Jeez, lady.’ He muttered. He would have argued, but if there was one thing he’d learnt from your last collaboration, it was that nobody entered into a fight with you and won. ‘But it’s okay, you’re not with me this time.’

‘Oh?’ You quirked an eyebrow. Tequila began to make his way to the lift, signalling for you and Eggsy to follow. 

‘No, you’re with Whiskey this time.’ He explained, pressing the button for the top floor. ‘He’s a little more senior than me.’

‘Whiskey and Tequila?’ Eggsy muttered in your ear. ‘What’s their boss called? Pale ale?’

‘Champagne.’ You replied. 

‘Good one.’ He snorted.

‘No, Eggsy.’ You whispered back. ‘He’s actually called Champagne.’

‘Fucking hell.’ 

Yeah, you thought, that kinda sums it up.

The three of you stepped out the lift and onto the top floor. The views from the windows were almost breath-taking; it wasn’t often that you got to see 360 degree views of one of the most beautiful cities in the world. The skyscrapers stretched out further than the eye could see, eventually melting together in the distance where the sky met the land. It was almost breath-taking just to think about - the people, the opportunities, the magic that New York had to offer. London was your home, and you couldn’t even begin to dream of leaving, but your mind did wander off a little. 

‘Whiskey! I got your girl!’ Tequila yelled, pressing a button on an intercom outside one of the offices. He gave Eggsy a quick glance. . ‘And...the other one.’

‘Sweet Jesus, Tequila!’ A strong Southern accent came back. ‘You don’t gotta yell every time you use the fucking thing! I’m gonna be deaf as a goddamn doornail before I’m fifty.’

A moment later, the door to the office opened and Agent Whiskey stepped out. He was about the same height as Tequila, but a little older. He was wearing a cow-boy hat and there was a...was it a swagger? A spring in his step? Either way, the temptation to stick your foot out and stop him in his tracks was overwhelming. 

‘Well hello, pretty lady.’ Whiskey greeted you with a shit-eating grin. ‘I hear that you’re the little birdy who’s gonna give me Calahan?’

‘I prefer Percival.’ You monotonously replied. ‘And if I’m the little birdy that’s gonna give you Calahan, then you must be the yankee who stole him from me.’

‘Girl’s gotta bite.’ He gave your hand a shake. ‘I like that.’

‘This is Galahad.’ You pointed to Eggsy, who was inwardly holding his breath at the whole exchange. He was mentally counting down the minutes before you smacked off Whiskey’s cowboy hat. ‘Let’s see if you can acknowledge his gender three times in one breath-’

‘- okay, that’ll do!’ Your best friend pulled you back, taking Whiskey’s hand in place of yours. ‘It’s a pleasure to meet you, Whiskey.’

‘Please, call me Jack.’ The cowboy replied. 

‘Whiskey. Jack.’ Eggsy murmured under his breath. ‘Oh my days! Imagine if your surname was Daniels.’

After a brief conversation with Jack about his surname - during which you had seen Eggsy Unwin more entertained than ever before - you were taken down the hall to the agent’s office. Meanwhile, Eggsy and Tequila were escorted off to exchange some files that you’d both gathered. 

Whiskey’s office was exactly as you could have predicted; a mixture of dark wood furniture and red tones. The air smelt of his aftershave, with a hint of brandy and earth.

‘Your desk is that one there.’ Whiskey gestured to a slightly smaller set-up in the corner. 

‘I don’t get my own office?’

‘Since we’re gonna be working in close proximity, Champ figured it was best we double up.’ He explained. ‘Saves us doing a whole revolving door movement when we gotta talk to one another.’

‘Makes sense.’ You placed your bag on the desk, admiring the view for a moment. All of your files on Calahan had been uploaded to the Statesmen’s online cloud, whilst your other belongings had been delivered to the apartment you were staying in. ‘Nice view.’

‘It ain’t bad.’ Whiskey nodded. ‘You been to this neck of the woods before?’ 

‘Only when British diplomats need a babysitter.’ You replied.

‘Babysitting?’ He raised an eyebrow. ‘That’s what you Kingsmen do? You babysit?’

‘Why d’you think Eggsy is here?’ You shot back. ‘To babysit me.’

‘Now why would a well-mannered redcoat such as yourself need a babysitter?’ He could barely hide the grin in his voice, leaning back against the window as he peered at you over his glasses.

‘How would I put it in your terms?’ You pondered for a moment, offering Whiskey a sweet smile. ‘Is there a Southern term for I eat cowboys alive?’ 

He gulped. ‘I...I don’t think we got one for that yet.’ 

You nodded, turning your attention back to staring at the view in front of you. ‘You should come up with one. It might be useful.’ 

[nervousladytraveler]

The Alibi

Inspired by the kiss prompt: A + B are in an argument, then they stop, just stare at each other, and then crash their lips together, because, like i said... fuck this shit Ross and Demelza

Requested by the lovely @veryflowerobservation

---

“God damn it, Demelza! I told you not to follow me tonight!”

For the last eight miles, Ross had been looking over his shoulder while Demelza drove. No one was behind them on the dark road, and it was most likely they’d been unseen, yet he continued to anxiously watch. There was nothing that would quiet the churning adrenaline that came from such a close call.

“Well it's a good thing I did follow you, otherwise…” Demelza snapped back at him.

“Otherwise what?!” He cut her off before she continued in what sounded like another self-righteous justification. Her words rang empty to him--she’d acted impulsively and it was just dumb luck that she hadn’t made things worse.

“You seriously ask me that?”

“Demelza, I would have sorted it instead of both of us being in danger!”

“No, Ross. In case you didn't notice I just saved your skin before you had anythin’ to sort. And you can’t just sort a thing like this with the police, by the way. Not even you. But now that’s a moot point and no one is in danger. Of gettin’ hurt or bein’ arrested--precisely because I came.“

Without any warning, Demelza took a sharp left at the Blowinghouse Turn bus stop, then minutes later turned right on the B3284 towards Truro. This whole time she’d kept the tiny Kia Forte steady at 30 mph, a frustratingly slow pace that further agitated Ross--and she was well aware that it would, no doubt. But she was right in her refusal to drive any faster. The last thing they needed now was trouble for speeding.

“Why didn’t you stay on the…” he started but stopped once he caught the acid look she flashed him. “You seem to know what you’re doing,” he mumbled.

“Yes, Ross. Yes, I do.”

To their relief, the road ahead remained empty. Then again people didn't really tend to be out driving at 2AM on a Tuesday unless they had urgent business. Or shady business.

“So was this all your plan all along--that you’d come out tonight and spy on me?” he asked.

“Spy? You’re not very good at keepin’ secrets, you know,” she sputtered. “Besides, you already told me what you were up to, just not when or where…”

“For good reason! Because I didn’t want you involved. But you told me that you’d stay home--you lied to me!” Ross’s dark voice filled the little car.

“Lyin’? You’re really speakin’ to me about lyin’?” Her laugh, bitter and sarcastic, met his anger head on.

Demelza Carne had worked for Ross Poldark for years now--since she was a teenager really-- first as an all around office assistant and recently as his bookkeeper. And she’d shown him time and again that she wasn't cowed by his moods. She was one of the few people in his life who wasn’t. She was also one of the few people in his life who hadn’t abandoned him once his business prospects began to fail. He shouldn’t have expected anything different from her tonight.

“But no, Ross, I hadn’t planned on interferin’ with your business. I do have a life of my own you know...“

“Demelza--wait--are you claiming I lied to you?”

“When you omit somethin’ on purpose, that’s also a lie,” she said calmly, then a moment later her agitation boiled up again. “Jesus, Ross! What were you thinkin’?! Comin out here on your own to meet those smugglers? You didn't think it was a set up?”

Smugglers. It rankled him that she insisted on calling Trencrom and his men smugglers as though this were some 18th century French scheme or an Enid Blyton novel, rather than a simple business arrangement.

But no matter what term Ross preferred, tonight proved it remained a dangerous business. And while the charge of “improper importation of goods chargeable with a duty which has not been paid” certainly sounded less exciting than smuggling, it still carried a severe penalty.

Tonight would have been Ross’s third transaction with Robert Trencrom, a local businessman who had approached him last summer with a proposition. It seemed that from time to time Trencrom and his associates had in their possession certain goods acquired through less than proper channels. What Trencrom needed was an unassuming place to store these goods until such a time when they could be distributed without suspicion. Nampara, Ross’s derelict farm, might provide the perfect cover since there were so many unused outbuildings, several that still had solid walls and intact roofs. It had been decades since the farm produced anything that needed storing, so why not let the space to others whilst Ross made a little cash on the side?

The past two times it had been Belgian cigarettes--not massive quantities but enough that the whole endeavour still carried a risk. Yet Ross’s involvement had been truly minimal, just as Trencrom had assured him. In fact, Ross had not even been home when the goods were delivered. Trencrom’s men had tucked the plastic barrels behind some rusting mowing machines, and Ross was only made aware that the goods had been removed some weeks later when an envelope of cash was left for him in his car.

And since these were cash transactions, Ross considered hiding them altogether from Demelza, who minded his books for him. But in the end, he explained in vague details what he had done and asked her not to question him further. Clearly she hadn’t approved but she said nothing.

It wasn’t drugs or weapons--or people--so it could be worse, he’d told himself. And as soon as he just got a little more out of debt, he’d cut ties with the lot.

When Ross didn’t hear from Trencrom all winter, he’d assumed the connection had faded and sighed in relief. He’d miss the income but not the entanglement.

Then a few weeks into May, Trencrom reached out again.

This time Ross was to be more involved and actually take delivery of the cargo himself. Naturally there would be considerable compensation--a figure Ross didn’t think he could refuse considering his current financial status. Trencrom hinted he’d been worried about the loyalty of such a big crew and so for this job he wanted to keep his circle small. He’d instructed Ross to meet them at the Rugby Football Club carpark just after midnight.

In the hours leading up to the hand off, Ross was determined to pass a quiet evening at home. So when his friend Dwight stopped by unannounced for a drink and a game of cards, he’d welcomed the diversion. He was also relieved that Demelza, who lived in one of the tiny cottages adjacent to the main house, seemed to deliberately be giving him a wide berth that day. She knew about the “business” Ross had later, but having already made her objections clear, there was nothing left to say on the matter. Normally she would have stayed--she liked Dwight Enys and the two of them playfully teased Ross as only true friends could. But tonight she left Ross with Dwight and went home early.

It was around 11PM that Ross received another call--the exchange point had apparently changed. He was now to meet Trencrom’s men at the airfield at 1:30 and he was to come on foot--without his car. The barrels were already loaded in a van so there was no need to remove them to another vehicle.That last detail did seem odd to him at the time. But once Ross had left for the appointment, he found it was a mild night, and figured he’d park at the beach and enjoy the walk to the airfield.

He was still almost a mile away when the familiar black Kia pulled up next to him. His every muscle tightened and he could hear the blood pounding in his ears.

“Demelza,” he’d hissed. “Get out of here!’

“Get in the car now, Ross,” she’d said simply.

“Look, Demelza, I know you don’t approve of this...” There was something in her eyes that made him take notice. Like an animal being hunted, she was on high alert.

“Get in,” she’d said again. “It’s a trap.”

“What?!” he’d asked, shaking his head in disbelief but still he climbed into the car without waiting for a satisfactory explanation.

“Seatbelt,” was all she’d said. He could hear the tension in her voice but she concentrated on the road ahead of her and didn’t even offer him a glance. “There,” she said finally and bid him to look to the right.

She drove on without slowing down so it was only a flash to him, still the chilling sight registered in his brain. Just beyond the tall hedges at the entrance to the airfield were three police cars, and two others that looked unmarked, all waiting in a circle with their headlamps off.

Demelza had been right--it had been a trap. And one he would have literally walked right into had she not shown up when she did.

It was doubtful that Trencrom was the one cooperating with the cops--it must have been one of the others in his crew. So Trencrom did have good reason to want to draw his circle closer. Ross wondered if he’d actually known there was a rat amongst them or just suspected it.

Ross knew he should be grateful for Demelza’s timely rescue but he couldn’t help resenting that she’d been right. She may have had a right to be so smug, but he didn't have to enjoy listening to her rub it in.

“I knew this would happen…” she muttered and drove on.

“Oh, you most certainly did not,” he growled. “No one did.”

“No one?” she laughed. “Well let’s see, Ross...the cops knew and someone else most certainly knew--whoever grassed on you, that is…”

“I would have thought, knowing you as I do, that you’d understand why I had no choice…”

“No choice? What sort of bullshit is that, Ross? Have you run round in your head how that really sounds? You know that's not an actual legal defense?”

“I mean I needed the money. I have a mortgage payment due and…”

“Yes, I am aware of that, Ross. Knowin’ me as you think you do, you should have talked this over with me. I’m your bookkeeper, for fuck’s sake.”

He didn’t want to think about what he should have done and whether he’d pushed her away as she claimed. He had good reason not to involve her--he’d wanted to avoid just such an argument with her.

And he also wanted to protect her.

“Turn left up here then pull over at the top of the hill and let me drive,” Ross grumbled as she rolled into the sleeping town.

“You’re most certainly not drivin’ my car!” she huffed but nonetheless turned as he had directed and pulled into the car park at the back of the Star and Garter Inn.

It was a clever move. They hadn’t spoken it but they both knew their friend Jinny Martin would be working the desk tonight. Perhaps she could get them a room and they could wait it out there until morning.

Demelza switched off the headlamps and then after a moment’s hesitation, the engine as well.

Ross heard her take in a sharp breath--more like a hiss--and waited for the tempest to continue.

“Well, yes,” he said just a beat before she opened her mouth to speak. “When the pick-up location changed last minute, I might have seen it was a set up.” It wasn't an apology but he hoped he could buy himself some time before her next eruption. “But I never imagined anyone involved in this arrangement would ever inform on me…”

“Oh Ross! I would have guessed it, and am surprised it didn't happen sooner. Honour amongst thieves and all that.”

“They aren’t--we aren’t--thieves.”

“Ok, not thieves per se but it’s still criminal activity to take delivery of smuggled cargo. Ross, you think you’re such a great judge of character but that lot...they’re greedy bastards and they just aren't your friends.”

“And you are?”

She stared at him, wide eyed and open-mouthed, unbelieving that he’d actually questioned her loyalty when she’d just saved him from a possible seven year prison sentence.

“Demelza, that came out wrong,” he said. Again it wasn’t an apology. At least not in its tone.

“Everythin’ you say comes out wrong, Ross. Or do you actually mean to be such an absolute arsehole?”

“Can’t you just admit that you could have put yourself in danger back there? With both Trencrom’s crew and the cops?” He put his hand on her arm and was surprised at how strong her muscles felt as she gripped the steering wheel. Instinctively he pulled away.

“Can’t you just admit how stubborn and stupid you can be?” Usually so bright and reassuring, her voice was hoarse from such rough use tonight.

“I’m stubborn?” he asked.

“No one saw me, Ross. And the important thing is that the police didn't see you. So you’re safe.”

“Well…”

“I suppose even if the cops had your name as someone possibly involved, since they didn't actually catch you doin’ any illegal activity, they can’t arrest you. Besides I’m your allibi for this evenin’. We can stay here overnight in case they’re watchin’ the house, and I’ll take you back to to pick up your car in the mornin’.“

“Wait! What if there’s CCTV here?” Ross felt a renewed jolt of panic tear through him.

“All the cameras are on the front of the building and the side where the guests park. This section is for employees.” She pointed to the few other cars around them. Older, tatty, bought second hand on the cheap but still at a cost as they most likely required constant maintenance. These were the cars of service workers--night clerks, cleaners, cooks. He recognised Jinny’s old Skoda with it’s Leicester City FC sticker on the rear. That car had been in the Martin family for almost two decades now and somehow, through mechanical expertise or through sheer will, her resourceful father had managed to keep it running. No one would bother these cars with the shiny new BMWs and Audis on the other side of the hotel.

“What about traffic cameras? Back along the road?” Ross asked, not sure if he was being cautious or paranoid.

“Maybe, but Ross, there’s no law against bein’ out with a woman.”

“Who happened to pick me up on the side of the road in the middle of the night…”

“Well, let’s assume we had to meet up in the cover of dark to avoid gossip since you’re my boss...and because of your jealous girlfriend.”

“Demelza, you know I don’t have a girlfriend,” he grumbled. “This is ridiculous…”

“I know that, but the police wouldn’t. A clandestine affair--a fake one of course--is a perfect cover for sketchy behaviour. But if you’d prefer I not be your alibi…”

“This isn’t a game!” he snapped again. He couldn’t stand that she’d laughed just now. Then a thought hit him and he had to ask. “How did you even know where I was going? That I’d be heading from the beach towards the airfield on foot?”

“Dr. Enys told me.”

“What? This just gets more unbelievable! Dwight knew this was top secret--why the hell did he tell you?”

“Top secret but still you told him?” she snorted. “Well, I’m glad you did, I suppose. He couldn’t follow you himself--he’d a call from one of his ‘patients’, which I think was actually code for Caroline wanted him to come round’--so he thought I might be able to stop you. At least he has some faith in me.”

“Oh come on, this isn’t about what I think of you…”

“Isn’t it though? You clearly don’t trust me and you don’t think I can handle myself and you think I’m silly.”

“Silly?”

“Oh sorry--ridiculous was the word you just used. Anyway Dwight was wary of the whole arrangement and thought it stank to high heaven.”

“Why didn’t he tell me that himself?!”

“He said he did--did you actually listen? And before you get angry at him, you should thank your lucky stars that he was still at Nampara when Trencrom sent word of the ‘new’ meetin’ point...”

“It wasn’t Trencrom who rang me,” he corrected her. “It was Charlie who told me the meet up was moved to the airfield.”

“Charlie Kempthorne? That tosser? Are you shitting me? And you didn’t think it was suspicious that Charlie would be privy to some secret revised plan and you wouldn’t?” she scoffed. “But really, Ross, you should be fucking grateful to have Dwight as a mate. He’s a real friend, you know.”

“I never said he wasn't.”

“No, you just said I wasn't,” she snorted.

“Oh come on, Demelza. You know I didn't mean that. What are you going on about?”

“In case it isn’t clear, Ross,” she hissed, “I am still so angry at you.” She spoke through clenched teeth. “That you got involved with those weasels in the first place, that you shut me out, that you almost...”

“It’s none of your business!” he shouted. “Why are you being this way?”

“Okay, it’s not my business and I’m not your friend, just some stupid girl who works for you and is used to clearin’ up your messes--and who knows she’ll be out of that job if--no, sorry--when you get nicked. Fuck this shit. And fuck you, Ross!” Without looking at him, she stepped out of the car and slammed the door.

Ross immediately followed her, afraid that she’d keep shouting and wake the hotel. She stopped in her tracks a few yards away and stood silently. It might have been the first time in nearly thirty minutes that she’d stopped yelling at him. Ross leaned against the still-warm bonnet of the car and exhaled.

Perhaps she’d known what she was doing, parking the car in a farthest corner of the lot, under a broken street lamp. They were completely hidden in shadow, still Ross could make out her face--her narrowed, feral eyes, her gnashing teeth that gleamed in the faint moonlight. For a moment he thought she might bite him.

He cautiously took a step forward then paused to read her posture.

The chill in the air--and in the words they’d just thrown at each other--was causing her shoulders to shake. He noticed she was wearing a blue jumper just a shade darker than her brilliant eyes. The sleeves were too long, and she’d had to repeatedly push them up, but they wouldn't cooperate and now hung past her fingertips.

It was his, he then realised, the old one he usually left hanging on the peg by the front door.

He almost asked her what she was wearing--or rather why she was wearing it--but instead, aware that he’d been moved and not all sure of the reason, he did something else. He made two broad strides towards her.

Startled, she looked up at him. Her shining eyes lit the night.

“Yes, like you said...fuck this shit…” he laughed and put his hand on her elbow, pulling her towards him. He expected resistance, but he found none.

It was only a moment that they just stared at each other but it felt eternal, and then at some unspoken signal, they crashed together.

It was an untidy and urgent kiss--almost violent in its clumsiness had it not been fueled by such sincere desperation. Then, as they both found their breath, their arms found each other. A great weight had been lifted--one that neither Ross nor Demelza even realised they were shouldering until that moment.

He wove his hands through her hair and kissed her again. This time their lips worked together, carried by the flood of surging desire and long-sought release.

“Demelza, I’m so sorry I got you in this.” His voice was low but soft. Now his hands framed her face, afraid she might slip away like sand through his fingers.

“Ross, I was just so scared for you.”

He could hear the tears she was trying to hold back and understood why she’d been so angry with him. He’d been such a spectacular idiot, and in more ways than one.

“Me too. When you turned up, Demelza...my blood ran cold at the thought that I'd lured you into danger. I would never let anyone hurt you…” He ran the backs of his fingers gently down her cheek then kissed her pulsing temple.

“I couldn't leave you Ross, I just couldn't,” she cried into his neck.

“Thank you for caring for me even though I don’t deserve it. Come, you’re shivering. Let's go inside. We can talk more…” But instead of letting her go, he pressed her closer until he was certain he could feel her heart beating against his.

“I don't want to talk anymore,” she sniffled.

“Me neither. I just want to touch you and know you are safe.”

“Will you, Ross?”

Good god, I’ll never let you go, he thought.

“And can you trust me?” When she looked up at him, the hunted, defensive animal was gone. Now she was raw, vulnerable. She was softly opening herself to him, and doing so completely.

Ross understood what would happen next, what was happening now. He felt it in his gut and knew things would never be the same.

“Of course I do,” he whispered. “More than anyone.”

The darkness of the night--their secret accomplice--wrapped herself protectively around them.

Demelza lifted her face towards him and Ross kissed her once more.

[onetimeblog]

Write Up

This is a write up concerning the Rape Scandal concerning Tyrion, a guild member of Remnants of Lordaeron. 

==

In the mid 2010s, Tyrion was accused of participating in inappropriate RP by his ex-rp Partner.

The accusation was: “Six months ago Tyrion RPed raping a 12 year old NPC of his own make in the middle of Pig and Whistle at night.”

The officers online at the time of the accusations at night (2am-4am) decided to kick Tyrion out of the guild along with all names the accuser claimed was ‘aware’ of the RP and kept quiet about it after 1 hour of internal deliberations with no investigative work (all parties were sleeping at that point).

==

The GM’s, Adamantt’s, Recollection:

At around 4am in the morning I was woken up by my phone with a message informing me of the accusations and the subsequent actions taken by the officers. I got online and inquired about the situation.

It was discovered that the alleged RP took place 6 months prior to the accusation levied.

It is discovered then that the alleged RP took place in the Pig and Whistle at night, the emote was in /em, public. I understand the first screenshot of that tiny batch says ‘Cuthroat Valley’ but in the following 5hr+ conversation the location bounced around. But as far as I am concerned, it was in a Stormwind City public RP hub.

It was noted that the accusation clearly marked that the RP was targeted at NPC of the accused’s own make, which means the incriminating emote itself has to specify the NPC is 14 years of age - the age was also bounced around between 12 to 14 to 15 but it this also didn’t matter much, it was still a child’s age.

It is noted that there was no screenshot of the emote itself, when asked why there was no proof of the RP happening the response was “By the time I realized what happened the chat had scrolled so far up I could not screencap.”

Despite that, the officers online then at 3am decided to kick the accused and all names involved with no intention allowing them to respond to the accusations, or even informing them of the accusations.

What followed was 5~ hours of dialogue in which I stressed proper procedure, and that we could not condemn a guildmate for such heinous a crime without any tangible evidence, without even giving them the benefit of a doubt, or even speaking to them about the accusations and/or allowing them to explain before kicking them, with such dubious of accusations.

==

Thoughts

In hindsight in my 4am brain I was terse and the verbage I used was not the most tactful. In my point of view the officers could not get over the trigger words  (“rape”) and kept going on and on about it and forgetting what in my view, was more important: fair treatment in the light of severe accusations with not a single screenshot of anything to prove it happened.

Not a single guild member was given a fair chance to plead their case or even be told of the case. There was zero intention to even inform them of the situation (“Oh when they log in and find out they are guildless then if they ask we will say.”)  We could not even prove the RP happened, at all. To simply listen to somebody say “they did it” and immediately condemn and punish without doing any solid investigative work or even thinking about how incredulous the situation was, to me, simply unacceptable.

I reprimanded the officers for taking guildmates to task on such a flimsy case without even giving them the chance to speak, or even notifying them of the situation, or even waiting for me, the guildmaster, to get online. I repeatedly said there was a distinct lack of evidence, NOBODY was given a chance to even be notified of the situation and the entire accusation was extremely strange and hard to believe in.

If the RP did occur in /em in a public RP hub why was there not a single screenshot from anyone? The reason given: “The chat scrolled so far up by the time I realized what happened I couldn’t SS” - surely meant there were other RPers present, pushing the chat up until it disappeared. Yet during the 6 months not a single soul approached us to report the inappropriate RP. Social Media did not blow up with denunciations. Furthermore, why lob the accusations now, six months after the fact? 

There was no victim in the situation to protect, no second Rper whose identity needed to be hidden, the accusations were about the guildie RPing with an NPC of his own make in public. The accusations said the guildie was literally RPing with himself with an emote that deliberately notes that said NPC was 14, who does that? On top of everything, the guild member was NOT banned by Blizzard after posting something so supposedly explicit in public. Did not a single player who was present at the popular RP hub that evening report him? Nobody freaked out? Nobody took offence? Nobody blasted it into public screaming about this guy and pressuring us to do something about him within 24hrs of the emote happening? This supposedly happened in public and it sat in absolute silence for 6 months until the accuser brought it up in idle conversation. This is not the Moon Guard I know.

These were questions I could not answer and I found the entire situation extremely dubious. But in the end I was unable to sway any of the officers who in my opinion, simply read, freaked out, believed. Given the pressure I was under the guildie remained kicked without being given any chance to speak and he was summarily chased out of the game.

===

What followed in the years after.

Years later, when Hillsbradian was kicked from the guild for terrible behavior. He cropped 7~ screenshots from the heated 5 hour conversation to frame me as ‘protecting a pedo’ and ‘condoning rape RP’ as revenge. And much like the officers of old, the majority of Moon Guard read the 7~ screenshots, did not ask questions, and simply condemned. 

What followed was a series of unfortunate discoveries:

 That the guildmate that Yunalis claimed “was aware of the situation” was only aware of the situation because Yunalis herself informed him, and the guildmate chose to not be involved.

That the accuser’s original intention was to get Tyrion kicked out of the guild because he supposedly crossed her earlier, and that they were once RP partner and he crossed her over something.

That the accuser has had a habit of accusing those who have crossed her for ‘being a pedo’, as down the years I have met other players who were once her friends, but were overnight accused under similar circumstances with no evidence.

The above unfortunate facts were all discovered years later and I did not feel the need to dig them all up. By then most of the original officers had left the game/guild. I was suffering from anxiety and simply wanted to forget and move on, but some things could not be shrugged off.

And thus here we are now, 7+ years down after the incident, still fighting the uphill battle.

===

Conclusion

To this day I do not know whether Tyrion genuinely ‘did it’ or not, or whether this was just another case of the somebody trying to destroy somebody that crossed them. But from all evidence (or lackthereof) to me, years down, it still sounds like a (very) successful attempt at character assassination. I can say that if there was a shred, a single shred, of tangible evidence that the inappropriate RP did occur, we would not be here debating, I would not be here fighting. It would have been a very open and shut case. But there was none, nobody was able to prove anything. My knowledge of the server did not match up with events that played out.

So did I “defend a rapist”, “defend a pedo”? No, I didn’t. The only thing I tried to defend, and failed to, was fair treatment. That a player, any player, when accused of a crime, should be informed of said accusations, and be given a chance to even speak on it - whether it be defense, admittance, apology - their case investigated thoroughly, before being judged.

===

Epilogue

4-5 years later I ran into Tyrion again on his alt, I was able to identify him because he was the only one on my ignore list. I was unprepared to meet him again, Via a mediator I was able to speak with him cordially. The player had fled the game from harassment and fear, but had returned. He discovered my treatment and summarily wrote his side of the events for clarity: 

https://imgur.com/a/cuErgwU