#i say problem i'm sure there's a train i can hop onto

[al-mayriti]

i love spanish conferences. for the london one the fee is £90 (£45 if you're a student) and i have no idea if as a speaker i also have to pay the fee or not. in this one in spain i'm planning to speak at attendance is free and if you want to be a speaker you have to pay a total of 10€ as fee.

[brucewaynehater101]

Have you ever read a fic called A Medication On Railroading? Because I think you'll like it. Basic summery with no spoilers: Jack takes Tim on a trip to Atlanta and then leaves him in Atlanta so he goes train hopping to get home. Very hurt/comfort.

But it also gives me an idea that I'm not sure where to share. What if that wasn't Tim's first time getting home like that? Maybe the first time was just New York when he was say... 9 years old? His parents took him with them to a Gala and Jack thought Janet called him a car home and Janet thought Jack took care of it. Neither one did and Tiny Tim figured out how to get home on his own. It happens again when he's 11 so he already knows what to do, he studied up in case it happened again.

After the second time, anytime Tim is with his parents he keeps his camera bag on him at all times which has 300 dollars in it that he can use on getting home. Tim also discovers during the second one that trains are *way* better than busses and cabs. He's all alone, just him and the scenery and whatever cargo his car holds. He can Fully Relax. He doesn't have to be the perfect heir, he doesn't have to smile for the cameras, he doesn't have to be quiet or good or perfectly polite. He can scream and laugh and cry if he wants to and no one will ever know! He can sing and curse and throw rocks at things! He can be a *kid*.

After Tim becomes Robin, he never calls Batman for a pick up if he's abandoned somewhere and instead will make his own way home. Heck, after some missions with Young Justice he will turn off his trackers and ride trains home so that he can loudly vent about them without having to worry about anyone ever knowing what he said!

This does become a slight problem when he's 17 and Bruce needs him for something and finds out from Bart that their mission ended a day and a half ago. But Tim never called for pick up. And his trackers are all offline. And he never hit his emergency beacon and *no one can find him*. Bruce totally isn't freaking out. The other Bats totally aren't freaking out. Young Justice totally isn't freaking out. There totally isn't a panic spreading through the super hero community about Red Robin maybe being dead I a ditch somewhere and how both Batman and his team will react.

Tim meanwhile is straight vibing as he reclines on a stack of bags of rice like they're pillows, singing along to some sound track he downloaded onto his MP3 player, having turned the volume to max and nearly screaming the lyrics because it's the one time he feels like he can.

Yes! I love that fic you mentioned. It's really really good. Perhaps I should re read it since it's been a minute.

Also, I absolutely adore the little tidbit you've added. A few things to note that I love about it:

No one else knows/finds out until he's Red Robin

It's a semi-decent coping mechanism. He gets to chill out, vibe, and process. He's also in touch with nature and music during this.

Tim drops his various masks to simply exist for a bit

Tim chilling on some rice bags in a train cart with an MP3 player (not even his phone. This indicates he's fully offline during these trips)

A few additional notes to add. One, this could buff up the canon notion that pre-Robin Tim traveled far to go see Dick at the circus and convince him to become Robin again. If Tim had already done that twice unexpectedly, he'd do swell when he actually plans to do it.

Two, Tim probably created a white noise generator or something to give him totally privacy on his "me trips." This is why Kon and Superman freak out. They can't hear him.

Three, he probably gets covered in grime, dust, and dirt. He's no longer in the pristine environment he grew up in.

Gods. That sounds so nice and relaxing. I'm actually kind of jealous. Just the wind, music, and the slowly changing scenery? Fuuuck.

[coeurdastronaute]

Shadowboxing

Hey-- long time. I write lots of original sapphic content on Patreon now and sometimes I update AO3, but not all that often. For just $1/month you have access to my entire original content and fanfic. Currently writing CaitVi and Arcane and an original fake dating story. So.... if you want go check me out at Patreon.com/coeurdastronaute

I'm shit at logging onto Tumblr bc its a trash heap, but you can always find me on twitter @coeurastronaute or email me at coeurastroonaute@gmail.co m

But also here's Ch. 1 of Shadowboxing

'Till I collapse or I burstWhichever comes first

“This place is going to be nicer than anywhere we’ve ever lived.” 

“Yeah.” 

The car drifted lazily along the winding back roads between small New England towns, the afternoon sun filtering in through the canopy of lush forest. Summer sat heavy in that first week of June, droning with heat all day that barely cooled off come sunset. All of the green and nature was a welcome change for her eyes, which she thought had long grown accustomed to seeing only in the monochromatic color scheme of the city. 

“You can even ride horses,” Vi reminded her sister again, for the fifth time or so. She continued to look through the brochure which had been well worn by now with her many hours spent memorizing it, dreaming with it. “So posh, huh? Just hopping on for a trot between classes.” 

“Yeah.” 

Vi set her jaw and took a steadying breath. There was no point getting mad at her sister right now. Why would it hurt that she was giving up everything she knew to give her sister a better life, to get them out of the system, to give them a chance? But her sister was fourteen and sheltered, viewing this move as the worst thing that could ever happen. 

But Vi wasn’t a saint, and she did get annoyed from time to time. As if this wasn’t the best thing to ever happen to them. She closed the brochure and did her best to not crush it in her grip as her hands tightened into fists. 

Before she could say anything though, the trees broke into a clearing and the monstrous, hallowed, ivy-covered stone walls of Foxcroft Academy. The green was massive and vibrant, well maintained with the fancy mower lines across it. It was grander than she could have imagined, and definitely someplace that someone like Vi Warwick never imagined as even the slightest chance. 

This though, the sprawling, picturesque campus that actually looked like the photos hadn’t been photoshopped, was her single chance out of her life, and to her it was a terrifying opportunity. She sure as hell was going to make sure her sister took advantage of it, too.

As the car stopped in front of the large, central building, Vi looked over at her sister who seemed to be taking it all in, too. Powder didn’t know what was good for her, and Vi might not know much more, but she knew that this was the right decision, and she’d make sure she was on board. 

“You ready?” 

“Yeah, I guess,” Powder shrugged. 

With no more ceremony, her sister grabbed her backpack and took the first steps outside of the car, leaving Vi with just herself and the echo of the car door slamming. 

This is good, she sighed to herself before following. The cab driver dropped her duffle on the ground at her feet with a crunch on the gravel.

“Anything else?” he asked, looking around the trunk. 

“Nope, that’s it.” 

“Nothing else coming in on another train I’m going to have to bring out here?” he asked, taking inventory of the scant amount he was bringing. 

“Nope,” Vi shook her head, heaving the heavy bag on her shoulder. Powder struggled with hers before Vi tossed it on her other shoulder. Somehow, it was heavier. “Thanks.” 

“No problem,” he grunted as he slammed the trunk closed. “Good luck.” 

The pair watched the car go back down the long road, out of the tall, wrought iron gates with the emblem on the front, and turned back to look up at the facade of the building, tilting their heads back to take all the spires and turrets. From the brochures, Vi knew that this was the original school building, a converted estate bequeathed by some rich guy. Now, the campus covered nearly 500 acres. 

“Ms. Warwick! I’m so happy you made it,” a voice pulled them from their individual mulling. Feet hurried along the path toward them. “Easy trip, I hope. The train ride from the city is so lovely in the Fall, but still nice in the Summer. Hopefully it wasn’t too long.” 

“It was fine,” Vi nodded, shaking the hand extended to her. She nudged her sister to do the same. “Thanks.” 

“Wonderful. I’m not sure if you remember me, but I’m Dr. Sayyid, and I was on your interview panel for the scholarship.” 

“Yeah, of course. Thanks again,” Vi offered. “This is my sister, Powder.”

It was hard not to remember the tall, young, striking woman with deep brown eyes who seemed to be the only smiling face on the panel. Dr. Sayyid wore the same, simple sari she wore that day just a month ago, when Vi sat in front of a table of snooty professors and answered for all of her past and potential. It seemed a bit unnecessary in her opinion, since they only offered the scholarship because she had something they wanted– athletic ability. They would use her body to put medals and cups in their cupboards and she would use her body to pull herself out of poverty and the hole her parents bore her into.

When someone tapped her on the shoulder at the gym a month ago, it took her out of her trance, the dull rhythm of the rowing machine lulling her to a safe place, outside of herself and the world. That guy said he was a coach and asked if she was interested in any sports. And now Vi was standing on a 250 year old campus that had a 97% acceptance rate to universities. A tap on the shoulder was they keys to the kingdoms. 

“We’re running on a smaller staff, obviously, for the summer,” Dr. Sayyid explained, motioning for them to follow her around the building. “And official summer courses start on Monday, so this weekend is extra slow, which is perfect for exploring.” 

The buildings seemed to form a little town, it’s own unit with plenty of green space. It was the space part that surprised Vi the most. She wasn’t used to seeing so much, to be able to breathe and stretch her arms without hitting anything. 

“I hear you’re quite good at tinkering with electronics,” she continued, hoping to get Powder to open up. “You are very welcome to join us for a Robotics Team meeting. You’ll love our lab, Powder. I can show you tomorrow, if you want.” 

“You have a lab?” 

“Oh yes, a few. The Robotics Lab is attached to a maker’s space. I think you’re going to enjoy it.” 

Finally showing some excitement, Powder gave her sister a somewhat hopeful look, and Vi nodded, encouraging it. She listened to the two talk about some of the amenities while she took in it all, making a note of the dining hall and the path that led to the lake for training, the gym, the clinic, the fences, the openings. 

It made sense that Powder would be drawn to Dr. Sayyid. She was relatively young, for a professor, and she seemed genuinely kind and excited. Of all the tours Vi had gone on when she got to a new place, whether it be a new foster home or state facility, this one had to be the best, and watching Powder start to believe in it made it feel better. Vi would row until her hands bled.

“So this is Spence, one of the freshman girls’ dorm,” Dr. Sayyid explained as they stopped at a cozy looking building with columns and brick and real windows. It looked like a giant mansion, somehow bigger than its three stories. “And this is where you’ll be, Powder.”

Vi adjusted their bags, an end to the weight in sight. 

“Tomorrow, we’ll do all the admin stuff, like ID cards and uniforms, but for now, you won’t have a problem getting in and out. What do you say, want to see your room?” 

“Yeah,” Powder agreed, more excited than before. 

Vi followed, trying to remember everything. She needed to know how to get to Powder no matter what. 

The room itself was on the second floor toward the middle of the hall. She was in a quad, with a shared common room, though each bedroom had its own bathroom. Vi dropped the bag on one of the beds in the right-side bedroom, finally sick of carrying it. Her shoulders thanked her immediately. She watched Powder look around the space, run her hand over the empty bookshelves and desk before looking out the window at the fields in the distance. 

When she turned back at Vi she smiled, finally relaxed. 

“I hope you don’t mind, but I went ahead and picked up some of your books for classes on Monday, and this laptop is a little old, but it still works,” Dr. Sayyid explained, moving to the pile that sat on the end of a desk. “I just got a new one, so I figured you might get some use out of it for assignments.” 

“For me?” Powder echoed, furrowing and looking back at Dr. Sayyid, trying to figure it out. She looked at Vi who gave a small shrug, unsure as well. The professor nodded enthusiastically. 

“We have spare sheets and towels in the closet. It’s your responsibility to do laundry, which is down in the basement,” she continued, choosing not to dwell, though that was all Powder seemed capable of at the moment. “We’ll get you set up later. Shall we head over to see your room, Vi?” 

While they walked across campus, Powder and Dr. Sayyid chatted about the buildings and some of the offerings, as well as what plans there might be for the year. Vi had never  been more grateful for an adult that she was at that moment. She needed Powder to buy into this experience. She needed to have one less worry in her life, and this was hopeful for her. Cautiously hopeful, she decided. 

The dorm for the senior girls was a little farther from the main heart of campus like Spence. Browning was a little smaller, a little more quaint, a little more retrofitted, but the view of the lake was everything Vi could ever want and never allowed herself to imagine. 

The room on the top floor in the corner was small, with ancient paint and built ins, with heavy wooden furniture and a big bay window. She dropped her bag on the bed on one side of the room. Against the wall, sat a dresser, a desk, a small closet, and her bed, and on the other side, a mirror image. 

Powder sat on her bed with a bounce and appraised it appreciatively. 

“Not too bad,” she decided, making Vi smile. 

Before this morning, they’d never left the city, and even then, they barely left their neighborhood. Now, they were in a different state, in a different town, and everything else truly did feel far away.

“They’re always working on the HVAC in this building,” Dr. Sayyid sighed as she opened a window to let in the faintest breeze, hoping to cut the stagnant heat. “I’ll message maintenance and let them know it’s on the fritz again. At least in the winter, the heat is great. The old boiler is more reliable than the new AC.” 

Vi gripped the desk chair and took a deep breath, closing her eyes for a moment to finally breathe. If she did everything right, if she could keep all fo the pieces of the car together for just a year, she could keep them off the streets, keep them from being separated, keep everything from falling apart, and this felt like the closest she’d come to realizing that dream. 

She could take some heat. She didn’t mind. 

“I know you want to unpack, but I was going to make pizza for dinner. Do you guys want to come over and relax a bit?” Dr. Sayyid asked, clapping her hands together. “You’re probably hungry after the long day of traveling.”

“You live here?” Powder asked, hopping up. Vi didn’t move. She gripped the chair a bit tighter. 

“I do. I’m a dorm supervisor, so I get to stay so I’m around if you ever need anything.” 

“That’s pretty cool.” 

“Yeah, I like it,” she agreed with a smile. “I can give you guys a run down of the rules and stuff, and if you like fresh veggies, we have a ton from the garden.” 

Powder looked at her sister and Vi gave a slight nod, something that not many might catch, but she knew it was alright. 

“I don’t like green things,” Powder explained. “Vi does.” 

“Perfect, peppers for you and spinach for Vi.” 

“Sounds good,” Vi offered, following along before pausing at the door and giving her room another look. 

This is going to work. 

XXXXXXXXXXX

Dinner was lovely. The small cottage on the edge of the eastside of campus felt well-lived in. It was cozy, as if someone had put in roots and made it their own. Vi appraised it while Powder helped make dough, rolling it out and chatting with Dr. Sayyid about their lives and such. Vi tried to figure her out, looking at photos and certificates, at stacks of books and movies, at board games and botched crochet projects. 

Over freshly made pizza, they talked about her family back in India, about how much she liked teaching, about some of the fun parts of the campus and the school year. It was simple and easy, and Vi was grateful for that. 

Internally, Vi debated about spending the night in Powder’s room. It wasn’t often they spent a night apart, but it was going to be something they had to get used to eventually, and so she bit her tongue, and didn’t offer when they walked back across campus. Instead, she helped Powder make her bed and unpack her bag. 

“Can you believe they have cable?” she asked, flopping on the couch in the common room. “All these rooms and everyone gets cable. Isn’t that insane?” 

“Three meals a day and cable,” Vi grinned. “It’s just like juvie.” 

“I could get used to juvie like this,” Powder scoffed as she clicked through some channels.

“I’ll come grab you around nine tomorrow, and we’ll do breakfast at the Dining Hall before a tedious day of orientation,” Dr. Sayyid decided, though she checked to make sure they were on board. “And tomorrow you’ll have your roommates. I think you’re going to like yours, Powder. All the freshmen are new, so you’ll actually have a leg up on them to show them around.” 

“You good?” Vi asked, slightly lower as Dr. Sayyid moved toward the door. 

“I know where you are,” Powder nodded. Vi rumpled her hair as a goodbye. “Text me if you get scared.” 

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

Powder didn’t get up to move. She relaxed on the couch and waved and Vi understood that she needed to be alone, to experience, to thaw, to disappear. That didn’t stop her from standing outside in the hallway for a few extra moments, her hand hovering over the doorknob, as if at the sound of a cough, she’d burst back in. 

Dr. Sayyid, her eyes kind and her lips twisting into a small smile put her hand on Vi’s shoulder, making her jump at the contact, retching her back into reality. 

“She’s okay,” she promised. “Good kid.” 

“Yeah, she’s really smart,” Vi offered, following. She let her gaze linger back to the door before they turned the corner to head downstairs. 

“I can see that. It’s very obvious. She’ll do well here.” 

Vi nodded and bit the inside of her lip repeatedly before clenching her jaw. She looked up at the lit window as she followed Dr. Sayyid toward her dorm yet again. She spoke about what some graduates had gone on to do, and about certain emotional supports that were in place, mental health wellness and all of those words. But mostly she walked in a mutual silence, just their feet and the gravel or the sidewalk or the grass. 

“I know this is overwhelming,” the professor finally acknowledged as they paused outside of Browning. “But if you need anything, please don’t hesitate. I can answer any questions you might have– about school or anything else.”

Vi nodded again and put her hands in her pockets. Dr. Sayyid held out a card. 

“My personal cell. I was the scholarship kid once who left everything she ever knew to take care of her family,” she murmured, her voice slightly more serious than Vi had heard it all evening. “Anything, Vi.” 

Gently, Vi took the card in her hands and turned it over to see the neatly handwritten digits. She stared at it for a moment and swallowed before nodding and slipping it in her back pocket. Dr. Sayyid seemed to appraise her, wagering what her chances were before catching herself and offering a soothing smile. 

“Enjoy your first night. Maintenance left a fan for you. I’m sorry the AC is out.” 

“I’ve slept in worse spots,” Vi promised with a wry grin. “Thanks, Doc.” 

“Anything, Vi, I mean it,” the professor reminded her as she turned, walking backward toward her place. 

For a long beat, Vi stood outside of the dorm and looked at the campus, the trees, the sky, blue and orange, the clouds purple wisps. Sweat dried on the back of her neck and she couldn’t remember ever feeling so singular, as if no one else in the world existed. She felt the card in her pocket. She’d had those before, promises on cards, so she knew not to count on it, no matter how well-intentioned someone seemed to be. She did this all herself, and she’d keep that streak going. 

She made her way inside, checking her phone as she walked to see if Powder needed anything, though she didn’t have any messages from her. 

There wasn’t much to unpack. She hung up some clothes and filled only two drawers of the dresser. A stack of books were already on her bookshelves, probably from Dr. Sayyid, but Vi didn’t want to look at those just yet. It took only twenty minutes, and she was moved in. She could be packed and on her way in half the time if need be. 

The showers were in the middle of the hallway. Vi dug out a change of clothes and a few toiletries, remembering to turn the fan on for when she got back to her room, hoping it would cool off. The water felt good, washing away the train and the dirt and the sweat. It reminded her of baptism, and she was reborn, different now. A Foxcroft student. People from her side of town didn’t go to Foxcroft. People from her side of town never left that side. 

At the small sink in her room, Vi brushed her teeth as she picked up a novel from her pile, aimlessly wondering as she scrubbed. The Count of Monte Cristo. She flipped through the heavy book and felt slightly daunted by the size of it. She hadn’t read a book in… She furrowed, holding her toothbrush in her mouth as she flipped a page and caught some writing. 

Vi- “Life is a storm, my young friend. What makes you a man is what you do when that storm comes. You must look into that storm and shout- Do your worst, for I will do mine!”For a jump on Fall semester. But I think you might also find some use for this story.Dr. Sayyid

She reread the words a few times, trying to figure it out. Slowly she brushed her teeth a little more and weighed the book. She looked helplessly at the shelf and wondered when she’d have time to do it all. A headstart couldn’t hurt. 

She spit in the sink as the door to her room opened and she stood still in the middle of the room with a toothbrush hanging from her lips, a book tucked against her stomach, and a brilliant blue eye staring at her. Vi was certain she looked like a deer, and this girl was a semi truck barreling at her full speed, though she just stood in the doorway. She wore an eye patch on one side of her face, though a faint pink scar peaked out of the edges at the top and bottom. Her face composed itself instantaneously, the surprise gone. 

“Who the hell are you?” she furrowed before looking at the number on the door and back at a piece of paper in her hand. 

“Who the hell are you?” Vi managed, garbling over her toothbrush before she snagged it out of her mouth. Her heckles rose immediately.

“I was supposed to have a single,” the stranger groaned. She dropped the box balanced on her hip on the ground. “Are you in the right room?” 

“Yeah. I am. Can we go back to who the hell you are?” Vi tried again, her voice stern. 

The girl just stared at her, eye drifting down to her shorts and sports bra and Vi realized she was definitely less clothed than her. But she couldn't balk now. She spent enough time establishing herself in strange situations to know that you don’t blink and you certainly don’t acknowledge any weakness. In this situation, of course, the lack of clothes was a weakness, but she had to work with what she had. 

“I think I’m your roommate.” 

“Oh,” Vi furrowed and nodded. “Okay.” 

“I’ll be back.” 

Just like that, she was gone, and Vi was left, still standing there, clutching a book and a toothbrush. She looked at the box on the floor and then around her room. 

“I’m Vi,” she muttered to an empty room. “Pleasure.”

Vi thought she’d have to get used to this, but she hadn’t thought about how annoying it would be. How wonderful it was that her roommate was a prime example of the most annoying kind of person. Rich fucking blue bloods.

[vodika-vibes]

Hi vod'ika

I'm pretty sure I saw a post saying your requests were open,

If they are please could I get Alpha 17(or fox, rex, wolffe) with some kinda civilian contractor, some kind of pining a lil bit of friends/coworkers to lovers vod teasing about this very obvious crush bit of feelings realisation (my favourite) (there can be smut or not up to you)

I love the way you write Alpha 17 especially but I don't mind really who you write it for!

The Edge Of Dawn

Summary: Alpha-17 doesn’t have friends. His job is to make sure that the cadets survive to adulthood, and that’s it. There’s absolutely no reason that he should be so comfortable with the civilian contractor who is in charge of teaching the cadets how to slice. But if Fordo doesn’t stop making smart comments, Alpha’s going to be down one vod.

Pairing: Alpha-17 x F!Reader

Word Count: 1616

Warnings: None

Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni @imabeautifulbutterfly

A/N: Sorry that this took so long to get back to! It took me a while to come up with an idea that made me happy. I don't know if I followed your prompt to the letter, Alpha-17 doesn't do emotions well after all, but I think I'm happy with it!

“Alpha,” There’s a small smile playing on her lips as she hops up to sit on the barricade next to the much taller man, a datapad hanging from one of her hands, “What a surprise to see you here!”

He spares her half a glance, and then focuses his attention back on the ARC trainees that he’s currently responsible for, “Yes. What a surprise. That you found me in my training room.”

She beams at him, unrepentant, “Your little ducklings seem to be doing well.”

“Don’t call them that.”

“Your tooka kittens.”

“Not that either.”

“Your-”

“Is there a reason you’re here, harassing me, and not in your office doing whatever it is the long-necks hired you for?” Alpha asks, finally pinning her with all of his attention.

“I missed you.”

“You saw me an hour ago, try again.”

“It’s been a whole hour since I’ve seen your smiling face-” She continues dramatically, only to yelp when Alpha takes a strand of her hair between two fingers and tugs on it. “Rude.”

“I can be ruder.” He counters bluntly. “What do you need?”

She lightly raps her knuckles on her datapad, “There’s something...but I think it can wait.” She finally says, “You could come to my quarters tonight.”

“That-” Alpha is cut off at the very telling sound of Fordo choking on his laughter. “Problem, vod?” He bites out.

Fordo tilts his head towards her, but doesn’t say anything. Though his shoulders are shaking with repressed laughter. And Alpha is seriously considering shooting him.

Instead he focuses his attention on her and flicks his fingers towards the door, “Beat it. I’m busy.”

“Yeah, yeah. Who isn’t? I mean it, Alpha. I need to talk to you.”

“I’ll come find you when I can.”

“Great!” She hops back to her feet and glances at her datapad for a moment, before she beams at him and motions for him to duck his head a little bit.

Alpha eyes her suspiciously for a moment, but does as she instructs. She presses her lips, soft and warm, against his cheek, before she turns and scurries out of the room.

He stares after her, jaw slightly slack, as his hand comes up to press against his cheek. And then he’s jolted out of his shock at the sound of Fordo laughing. Alpha decides to table his, admittedly conflicted, thoughts about the slicer who has wormed her way into his heart, and decides to turn his annoyance at Fordo onto the baby ARCs.

He’s always had an easier time working through his emotions physically, after all.

It’s later, much later, when Alpha is able to pull himself away from his work for long enough to go and hunt down the little slicer. And yes, he did ignore the knowing looks his vod’e were shooting him as he left his barracks.

They’ve been giving him shit about how he treats her for months now.

All of them claim that he obviously has a thing for her (one of his brothers used the word crush and Alpha kind of wanted to punch him for it). He disagrees.

He respects the hell out of her.

He wants to protect her from the long-necks, he doesn’t like the speculative way that they look at her sometimes. And yes, okay, he likes looking at her.

That doesn’t mean he has a thing for her.

Sure, maybe he’s had a stray thought about wondering what it would be like to kiss her. And maybe he’s wondered if her skin is as soft as it looks. And maybe he’s considered what she’d look like if she was pregnant before.

But that doesn’t mean anything.

It can’t mean anything.

He knocks on the door to her suite, and it slides open surprisingly fast. Fast enough that his hand is still raised when she drags him into her suite.

“Were you waiting?”

“Yes!” She slams her hand on the control panel, shutting and locking the door before she turns and hurries deeper into his suite.

There’s a strange humming noise coming from a small device sitting on her coffee table, and it takes Alpha a moment to recognize that it’s a jamming device. Slowly his eye brows creep up as he looks around the suite.

Like all of the suites on Kamino, it’s small. About the size of a studio apartment. Though her room seems much smaller due to the sheer amount of stuff covering every inch of open surface.

“What’s going on?” She scurries around the room and Alpha takes note of a packed backpack sitting at the foot of her bed. “Is that a bug out bag?”

“No!” She pauses, “Well, yes. Technically.”

“Are you running away from Kamino?” Is he...hurt? He is. He thought she liked it here.

She grabs her datapad, her personal datapad based on the ridiculous looking purple protective case wrapped around it, and she turns her panicked gaze towards him.

All of his hurt feelings fly out the window at the look on her face, and he immediately shifts into, what she’s called, his badass soldier mode. “What happened?”

She won’t meet his gaze, and her free hand is fluttering over the designs on the protective case. And Alpha’s heart sinks. He’s not going to like what she’s about to say.

“Um, so...you remember why I was hired in the first place, right?”

“Yeah. The Jedi were worried about Seppie slicers getting into these computers. You were hired to update the security. Which you did.”

“Yes! Yes, I did.” She lifts her gaze from where it was tracing the paint on his chest place, “I…” She takes a deep breath, “I have a thing.”

“A thing?”

“I don’t like secrets. And I don’t trust the Republic. And I really, really don’t like the Kaminoans.” She says quickly, “So…”

“So?”

“I left myself a backdoor in their system.”

“...okay. Okay, so what. Did someone, other than you, use the backdoor?”

“No. You’d only be able to find it if you knew it was there.” She says quickly, “But, well, I’ve been perusing their system and...and ten years is a lot of stuff to go through, but I learned a lot.”

“Like?”

“Like the fact that the clones were commissioned by Count Dooku on the order of someone called Sidious. Like the fact that all of the clones have a chip in their brain to overwrite their free will.” her grip tightens around her datapad, “Well, all of the clones except for the Alpha Class.”

He was right. He doesn’t like this.

“I think…” She hesitates.

“Well, don’t stop now.”

“I think the clones were created as a trap for the Jedi. I think you were created to kill them.” She says quickly.

Alpha doesn’t say anything for a long time. And then, slowly, he exhales. “Okay. So how do we fix it.”

“You believe me?”

“You’ve never lied to me before.” Alpha pins her with a look, “I assume you have a plan.”

“Chips can be hacked. There must be a computer or terminal somewhere here that will allow me to overwrite the code on the chips. I just...need to find it.” She finally loosens her grip on her datapad, “This computer isn’t hooked up to the regular network, I know. I’ve looked.”

“You’ve looked.”

“...your brothers are very talented. But a lot of them are going to die if they turn against the Jedi. I don’t want that. I...don’t want any of this.”

Alpha stares at her for a long, long time. His brothers were wrong. He doesn’t have a crush on her. It’s so, so much worse.

“Alpha?”

He’s in love with her.

“Hello?”

Obviously he needs to claim her as his before they go any further with this.

“Do you need a medic? Should I call for help?”

Alpha snaps back to attention when she waves her hand in his face, worry written clearly on her face. He catches her wrist, and pulls her arm to the side.

“Oh, there you are. You went somewhere else for a bit.” She says, the worry fading away now that he’s moving again.

“I was thinking.”

“Oh, I know this is a lot-”

“Not about that.” Alpha interrupts.

“I...what?”

His grin is sharp, “I was thinking that I’m going to kiss you and claim you as mine, and then we can work out a plan on how to save my stupid ass brothers.”

She just blinks at him, startled, but she doesn’t try to pull away as he leans in and presses his lips against hers. In fact, she enthusiastically kisses him back.

Alpha releases her wrist and cups the back of her head to hold her close, deepening the kiss in the way that he’s been dreaming of for longer than he’ll ever admit to, and then he pulls back and presses his forehead against hers.

“Now,” He murmurs, “Is there anything else you learned that I should know?”

She blinks at him through hazy eyes, “Uh...Jango Fett is alive and in cryo in the basement.”

“What!?”

“Um, the Jango Fett who died on Geonosis was another clone who took his place. Apparently.” She says quickly.

Alpha stares at her for a long time, “Oh...kay. We’re going to table that particular crisis until we deal with this one. I’m going to go get Fordo and General Ti. You-” He pauses, “You’re going to hide your bug out bag and clean up some of this mess.”

“Oh. Right.”

He moves his hand so he’s able to brush his thumb across her lips, “And then, we can talk about us.”

And a small smile crosses her lips, “I’d like there to be an us.”

“Me too.”

[moonlightpetalz6]

Always There

Character: Chichi

Reader: Female Reader

Warnings: Harsh language, Fluff laced with slight angst

Wc: 2,960

A/n: Hi I love Chichi so much so I wanted to make this fic about her! I hope you can enjoy it!

______________________________________________________________

The sound of an alarm filled your ears, causing you to let out a small groan as you slowly opened your eyes, grimacing at the bright rays of sun that filled the room of your small apartment. You reach over towards your nightstand to smack the off button before rubbing what sleep remained in your eyes. 'I guess I should start getting ready.' With a tired sigh, you sat up from the comfort of your bed, kicking the blankets off before heading towards your bathroom to start the day. After getting yourself ready and eating breakfast, the phone rang, causing you to stumble around the corner to answer.

"Hello, Y/L/N residence." You answered automatically. A familiar laugh sounded on the other end, causing a soft smile to grace your lips, eyes softening at the beautiful melody. "You sound like you just ran towards the phone, Y/n! How often have I told you that the call won't stop after just one ring?!" You just hummed, leaning your head against the doorframe. "What can I say, Chichi? I'm quick to act." You joked, a small laugh slipping past your lips. Chichi huffs on the other end. You can picture her form standing there, probably cleaning her hands with an apron as she shakes her head with a frown. "I swear I surround myself with impatient people!" She complains, causing your laugh to echo off the walls.

You and Chichi have been friends ever since you were children. The two of you had met during your first day of school when she had smacked a boy who had been picking on you for not having that big of a lunch. Since that day, you two were always seen with each other, your bond closer than anyone's. You were even her maid of honor for her marriage to Goku, that day being one of the happiest yet most painful days of your life.

"Anyways, I was calling to see if you could arrive three hours early for Goten's party! I'm a little behind on preparations, and the boys won't be home until the party starts!" Chichi spoke, her voice hopeful and bright, but after having known her for so many years, you can catch how tired she is. "Of course, I can head over there now if you'd like." You say, glancing at your watch. "Really?! You're my knight in shining armor, Y/n!" The woman cheers, causing a smile to form on your lips, accompanied by a slight blush. "I'll see you in thirty minutes." And with that, you hang up the phone, letting out a small sigh. "Once again, it's me to the rescue." You muttered while glancing at the picture frame by your front door.

The picture consisted of the married couple with you and Krillen next to them, all of you with bright smiles on your faces. You make sure to grab Goten's present, your keys, and anything else you need before putting on your shoes and exiting the small apartment. You hop onto your motorcycle and head towards your friend's home in the woods. 'How long have I been having to help Chichi out? Since their marriage? Or was it since Gohan's birth?' You shake your head at the thought, letting out a deep sigh. You held nothing against the Saiyan warrior, at least not anymore; you became terrific friends from the moment you met. However, there was one small problem. One that no one would ever know about so long as you lived. You loved Chichi. You don't know when those feelings of friendship blossomed into more, but you knew that it would never happen between the two of you as her heart became Goku's the moment they met.

Because of this, you couldn't help but hate him at first. You hated him always putting training and fighting before his wife and kids. You hated the days when Chichi would call you up or even show up to your place crying for her husband on the days he died from whatever danger there had been. You hated how his adorable sons had to grow up or go some of their lives without their dad. It drove you mad before, but now you see it as a regular occurrence. Chichi always told you that even though she had married an idiotic fool, she wouldn't take it back and always held such love in her eyes whenever she would talk about her husband. Because of this, you gave up on that hatred for Goku and focused on giving Chichi and the boys any support they needed.

Before you realize it, you're parking your bike in front of the small and quiet home. You turn your bike off, taking off your helmet with a satisfied sigh. “Y/n!!!” Chichi cheered, waving her hand as she ran from her home towards you. You look at her and smile, jumping off the bike and picking her up in your arms as you spin her around, causing her to laugh at your actions. "Haha! Y/n, it's so good to see you! It's been a while!" She laughed as you carefully put her down. "About three months since I've been here." You admitted while grabbing your things, following her into the home you had become all too familiar with. "So, where is everyone?" You ask, placing your things down while Chichi takes your jacket.

"Gohan is at home with Videl and Pan, Dad is out getting some last-minute things, and Goku took Goten to Bulma's so we can surprise him!" She said, making her way into the kitchen. You hum, nodding your head in response as you join her. "I see. No wonder you needed to call me in." You joked, causing Chichi to elbow you in the gut lightly. "Oh, cut it out, Y/n! You know you're always welcome to come over without having to help with anything!" She scoffs before the two of you get to work in the kitchen, finishing up some of the food. You listen as Chichi complains about how Goten is just like his father and neither of her kids ever wanted to study. This was the usual whenever you were around her. You just smiled, listening to every word, engraving it into your mind.

You loved how passionate Chichi got over her boys and how she only wanted excellent and prosperous lives for them all. "You're a good mother and wife, Chichi." The words slip out of your mouth before your brain can process them. Chichi stopped her rant and looked at you with that gorgeous smile you loved so much plastered across her face. "Haha! You think? Sometimes, I wonder if those boys think differently." She confessed, leaning against the counter while looking out in thought. You watched her silently, wanting to reach out and wrap your arms around her. Tell her she's perfect, strong, beautiful, intelligent, hard-working, but you know better. You know that if you were to do that, you would never be able to get over your love for her, so you remain strong, knowing that it's best for all of you. With a sigh, Chichi jumps up, smacking her cheeks with her hands, causing you to jump, looking at her surprised.

She shakes her head before smiling once again. "Enough of that! Come on, it's almost time!" She laughed, pulling you towards the living room, where the two of you set everything up. "Chichi! I'm back!" You heard her father call. "Hello Ox-King! It's been a while!" You greet the older man in the doorway, watching as a giant smile crosses his face. "Why if it isn't Y/n! It's been a while; come here, sweetheart!" He laughed, pulling you into a tight hug. You laughed lightly, hitting his chest. "Come now! You'll break my ribs if you hug me that tight!" You joked with both of you laughing. Chichi poked her head around the corner curiously before smiling.

"Oh good, you're back! Hurry, everyone will be here soon!" She rushed, pushing both of you further into the house. You roll your eyes at her. "Now look who's impatient." This, of course, earned you a smack to the head.

You watched as everyone started to show up for the party, each greeting you, wanting to catch up after not seeing you in months. You smile and greet everyone before your eyes land on Gohan arriving with his family. "Is that my little Pan?!?!" You cry out, causing the little girl to smile, holding her arms out as she squeals for you. “Y/n!” You scoop her up, nuzzling your nose into her cheek, causing her to laugh. Gohan looks at you and smiles. "It's so good to see you again, Y/n-san. Have you been well?" he asks, touching your shoulder. "I've been good, thank you. Work has been a little busy, though, so I haven't been able to see everyone lately." You confessed, body slumping in defeat. Gohan laughs, tossing his head back as he pats your shoulder. "I see! I see! That's such a relief!" He laughed, causing you to look at him curiously.

Gohan motioned for you to lean closer, which you did as he went and whispered into your ear. "Mom was worried that she did something to upset you, and that's why you hadn't been stopping by." Your eyes went wide at this as you looked at him in shock. "Mom cares about you, Y/n-san." He genuinely smiles as he ruffles your hair as if forgetting you are way older than him. "We all do!" With that, you smiled, nodding before walking back with him. Pan was rambling about something she did at school while you listened to her humming each time she said something that would require a response.

Soon, Goku and Goten arrived, causing Chichi to shush everyone quickly as she prepared to surprise her youngest son. The doors opened, and everyone yelled surprise at the young boy who stood there in utter shock. Goku laughed, asking if his son was shocked. You watched as Goten smiled, thanking everyone as the party started. You walked around talking to many people, enjoying catching up with those you had considered close friends. "Hey, Y/n!" You felt a tap on your shoulder, causing you to stop your conversation with Bulma. You looked to see Goku standing there with a piece of meat in his hand as he flashed his signature smile, giving you a small wave. "It's been a while! How's it been?!" He asked enthusiastically. You turned to Bulma, excusing yourself, to which she just smiled, nodding her head before walking away. "Hello, Goku! I see you're stuffing your face as usual!" You laugh, going and hitting him in the stomach. He laughs, scratching the back of his head shyly.

"I haven't seen you since I returned to earth. Has everything been okay? Do you have a boyfriend yet?" He teased, wiggling his eyebrows at you. This earned a glare as you held your first up vein popping on the side of your head. "Watch it or I'll beat you." You growled, causing the Saiyan to laugh as he apologized while smacking you on the shoulder. "I'm kidding! Kidding! It's just really good to see you! You should stop by more!" He laughed before taking a bite out of the meat in his hand. "And you need to stop dying on everyone!" You scolded, stepping on his foot and causing him to whine. This was the usual relationship between you and Goku. He would tease you with stupid words or pranks, and you would scold him while beating him up.

Goku scratches the back of his head, laughing nervously. "Oh, come on, Y/n, it's not like I do it on purpose." You felt your eye twitch as you crossed your arms, letting out a deep, frustrated sigh. "I understand that Goku, I do." You trailed off momentarily before looking up at him, eyes locking. "But you don't always have to be the world's hero. You can also be a hero for your family, ya know?" You sighed, defeated. Goku just smiled, his eyes filling with care and appreciation as he ruffled your hair like Gohan had done earlier. "You know me, Y/n, I can't help it." Before bending down to your height, he confessed, causing you to get irritated, but you knew it was so that he could whisper something to you.

"Thank you for caring for my family when I fail to Y/n. You've always been there for us, and I do appreciate it. So, whenever you need something, don't feel like you have to do it alone, okay? Just call one of us, and we'll be there!" He laughed. You just looked at him in awe, not expecting such words from Goku. From the moment you met the man, he was a complete idiot, and you told Chichi that when she first introduced the two of you. You shake that off and give a small smile. "Thank you, Goku." He smiled before running over to Vegeta, sitting away from everyone, looking annoyed.

As the party progressed, you sat away from everyone, tired of the day's activities. 'I should probably head back soon…Chichi seems busy, and I haven't been getting proper rest.' You thought while scanning over everyone. Eventually, your eyes land on Chichi, standing with her family, watching Goten go through his gifts with pure joy. You just stared at her, your chest and mind swirling with emotions before pinching the bridge of your nose and squeezing your eyes shut. 'Dammit…maybe I should try dating.' You mentally cursed a frown on your face.

This didn't go unnoticed as Chichi glanced over the crowd, her eyes landing on your tired form, taking in the frown on your face. She frowns at this, quietly excusing herself as she makes her way over to you.

"Y/n? Is everything okay?" Her sudden voice snapped you out of your thoughts as you looked at her internally, wincing as you took in her worried look. You pushed away all your thoughts and feelings as you looked at her, a soft smile replacing the frown on your face. "Hey! Everything's fine; I'm just a bit tired, is all." You hated not telling Chichi the truth, but you knew it was for the best. Chichi frowned at this as she leaned closer, her face inches from yours, causing a blush to appear as you avoided eye contact with her. "W-what is it? Do I have something on my face?" You asked nervously. Chichi doesn't say anything for a minute before she goes and flicks you in the middle of the forehead.

"Ouch! What was that for?!" You cried, rubbing the now irritated skin. "You need to take better care of yourself, Y/n! I swear, ever since we were kids, you never had a proper schedule or even a routine!" She scolded, pointing a finger at you. Surprised, you just looked at her as she went on a scolding spree, crossing her arms. "Honestly, how much longer am I going to have to take care of you?" She sighed, shaking her head. You soon smile as you go and wrap your arms around her shoulders, laughing as you poke one of her puffed-out cheeks. "Oh come on Chichi! I'm perfectly fine! Look, see?! My skin is as clear as day and my health couldn't improve!" You teased a sly smile on your face.

Chichi shot you an annoyed glance as she went and pinched your hand, causing you to whine as you tried to free yourself. "Hey! What was that for?!" You yelled lightly, pulling on her hair. "Ouch! Y/n, why you!" Before anyone could process what was happening a few feet away, you and Chichi were on the ground fighting with each other.

"Mom?! Y/n-san?!" Gohan yelled, surprised, not understanding what happened to cause this. Everyone watched in surprise while Goku laughed, walking towards the two women. "It's just like old times!" He cheered while separating the two of you, holding you both by the backs of your shirts. "She started it!" You both yelled, pointing at the other. Goku just laughed, rolling his eyes at the two. "Come on, girls! You two are too old to be fighting like that anymore." He laughed, causing everyone to go silent as a cold breeze passed, sending shivers throughout everyone's body.

You and Chichi looked at each other, faces blank as you nodded in agreement, causing the warrior to look between the two confused. "Eh? Did I say something wrong?" He questioned. You and Chichi just smiled before tackling Goku to the ground, earning a cry from him while everyone else laughed as they watched the two women tickle the Saiyan, who flailed around on the ground, begging for them to stop. You both just laughed, holding your stomachs in pain, tears in your eyes. You look over at Chichi, watching her beautiful smile fill your heart with pure bliss. You smile, a slight blush on your cheeks as you take her hand, causing her to look at you with a toothy grin as you help each other up.

'Chichi…even though we can't be anything more than friends in this lifetime.' You think as she pulls you towards everyone, her hand gripping your own with her delicate skin. She looks back at you, that excited glint of life in her eyes. "Come on Y/n I made sure to save you some cake!" She laughed as you smiled, running past her hand still in hers. "In that case let's hurry up!" You laughed, wanting to beat the Saiyan men to the last piece of cake that Chichi spent hours making.

'I'll always be with you…loving every second we spend together.'

[xf-cases-solved]

S1E24: The Erlenmeyer Flask

Case: Our very first season finale! We made it! And as far as X-Files finale episodes go, this one is moderately comprehensible. Mostly. It all starts when Deep Throat recruits Mulder (and by extension, Scully) to investigate the disappearance/presumed death of a guy named uh—gimme a sec—William Secare (I forget names more than I forget locations, and y'all know how often I forget locations). You will remember Secare from the cold open, when he was chased down by some cops and then shot as he jumped into the water, and also his blood is green (think Vulcan, but more acidic). Deep Throat insists that getting to the bottom of the Secare case will get them closer than ever to the Truth. 

Spoiler alert: They do not learn the Truth by the end of this episode.

They do, however, meet a grumpy scientist with a room full of monkeys, who then gets murdered and leaves behind an Erlenmeyer flask labeled "purity control" that might be relevant to the title of the episode. Between bacteria that shouldn't exist, and our first (but not last) encounter with naked guys in tanks, things start to get pretty chaotic. To top it off, Mulder gets his first hit of alien blood burny face disease of the series, and then gets taken captive. Scully and Deep Throat have to work together to save him before it's too late. This goes... not great for Deep Throat in the end. 

Mulder finds extremely damning evidence, only for it to disappear like five minutes later like usual; Scully comes face-to-face with an alien fetus as well as exterrestrial bacteria and yet somehow there are still like 6ish/7ish more seasons to go before she even considers hopping onto the alien belief train; I have that problem I have in every X-Files conspiracy ep, which is that I can't tell middle aged white men apart, nor can I remember names, so I have no idea who is doing what for the majority of the episode (wait until we get to episodes with clones and shape-shifting bounty hunters, man, it's fucking torture); Deep Throat imparts some very important wisdom; and, oh yeah, the X-Files gets shut down.

It's a season finale for the history books, y'all! But I hope you're ready for shit to really get real, bc now it's time for... season 2! ( 🛸🛸🛸🤫)

Does someone die in the cold open: I dunno, does he die? Sure looks like he should have died, what with that gun wound and everything. There's no way he couldn't have died, right? (No, he didn't die.)(At least not in the cold open, I mean.)

Does Mulder present a slideshow: Nope, no finale slideshow :(

Does the evidence survive the investigation: Lol, good one

Whodunit: -vague gesturing at middle aged white guys who work for the shadow government probably-

Convictions: You're cute

Did they solve it: No, but I'll give them experience points, because I'm a kind and benevolent stat collector. They did lose Deep Throat from their inventory tho, whomp whomp. 

[how do i determine if a case is solved? check the scale here: x]

THIS EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: It not being monkey pee. You're lucky it's not, otherwise you'd be on your own.

***

General Total Stats:

(green means stat has changed since last ep; red means new stat added to list)

Total Cases *Definitively* Solved So Far: 12 (streak ended, and you got the x-files closed down, good job guys!)

Total Number of "Mulder/Scully, It's Me": 3 (FINALLY this stat goes up, also i changed it so it doesn't just pertain to phone calls, it's just whenever one of them says it)

Total Number of Times Scully Has Conveniently Not Seen Something Crucial: 5

Total Number of Times Mulder Has Been in Mortal Danger: 8

Total Number of Times Scully Has Been in Mortal Danger: 8

Total Number of Sexually Charged, Uncomfortably Intimate, and/or Flirty Moments Between Friendly Coworkers: 11

Total Number of Autopsies Scully Has Performed On Screen: 3 

Total Number of Times Scully Plays Doctor: 2

Total Number of Times Mulder Talks to an Informant: 13 (plus Scully and Deep Throat hang out some too) 

Total Number of Times People Making Out in a Car Are Hurt or Killed: 2

Total Number of Times Someone Correctly Guesses a Password: 2 (usually it's mulder, but scully got to do it this time)

Total Number of Nosebleeds: 4

Total Number of Times Mulder Has Tasted/Sniffed/Touched Something Questionable Without Following Proper Safety Procedures: 2 

Total Number of Times Someone Says "Trust No One": 2 (arguably the most notable "trust no one" of the series) 

Total Number of Times Someone Says "I Want to Believe": 3

Total Number of Times Someone Says "The Truth is Out There": 2

Total Number of Cigarettes Cigarette Smoking Man Has Smoked: 6 (apparently the one place he won't smoke is that storage room in the pentagon) 

Total Number of Maggie Scully Sightings: 1

Total Number of Lone Gunmen Sightings: 1

Total Number of Alex Krycek Sightings: 0 :(

Total Number of Times I Had to Look Up What State the Episode Takes Place in Even Though I Literally Just Watched It: 9½ (i upped the stat bc i did look, but i'm mad bc it was just one of those dc/maryland/adjacent areas episodes so i should have known better)

Total Number of Times I Had to Look at an Episode's Wikipedia Page to Fill This Out Because It Was Fucking Confusing and/or Too Boring for Me to Pay Attention: 5 (i followed this one fairly okay sort of)

[jaybird-fanfics]

Villain Roommate |Chapter Sixteen|

(Everyone ignore the fact that I used Fuyumi's name in the last chapter, I totally forgot she was a Todoroki. It's been a while since I've watched the anime (as in I haven't watched it since season six came out and I'm still not watching it lol) So yeah...whoopsie)

You had notified your landlord that you were moving, and began packing right away. You practically forced Dabi to help you, since you couldn't move most of the heavier things. By the time everything was moved into the moving truck, the house was completely empty. You almost hated to leave, so you took one last look at the place before heading outside to the truck. "Hop in, we're leaving." You says to Dabi.

"Hold up, who says you're driving?" You gave him a look. "I do." You said with crossed arms. "Got a problem with that?"

"I do actually. You don't have a car, I can't imagine you can drive worth a shit...How does that work anyway? Don't you go places? Like work?" Dabi asks. "Everything is close by, my work, the store, I just walk or take the train. And I can drive just fine! It's just, been a while, that's all."

"Uh-huh. Anyway, get in the car. I'm driving." Dabi said as he got in the driver's seat. You went to protest but gave up, you were too tired from moving shit all day to care much. "Do you even know have to drive?" You asked as you got in the passenger's seat. "I'm a grown ass man, yes I know how to drive." Dabi said as he turned on the vehicle. He backed out of the driveway before driving off. You watched as the house grew ever distant. You sighed and slumped in the seat.

"I thought you'd be more happy. You don't have to pay that outrageous rent anymore." Said Dabi, his eyes focused on the road. "I am happy. But, I've been there for a while you know? It's like, kinda weird to just up and leave it you know?" You said while fiddling with your fingers. "I don't, I never like to stay in one place for too long."

You narrow your eyes. "Then why have you been staying with me for so long?"

"Because you're useful to me. Well, your quirk does. I'll tolerate staying somewhere when it's beneficial for me."

You huffed and looked out the window. "Whatever." There was then silence between the two. Dabi turned on some music to fill the awkwardness but it still lingered. After a while, you spoke up. "You don't have to sleep on the couch anymore."

"Oh? Offering me a place in your bed? How bold of you."

If you could punch him you would, but that would put you in danger too since Dabi was the one driving. "No, idiot. You'll have your own room to sleep in." Dabi glanced at you for a moment before looking back on the road. "What's the catch?" He asked. "No catch. You're just lucky, the house came with two rooms. I could be cruel and make it into an office."

"Buuut?" Dabi pressed. "But you're also lucky that I'm not cruel." You says, making Dabi chuckle. "Sure."

You and Dabi moved everything into the house by the end of the day, and they were both exhausted. You, not feeling like cooking, ordered some takeout before crashing on the couch. "What a day." You exhale. "Why are you so tired? You had me doing most of the heavy lifting." Dabi sat next to you. It was true, you had made him move a handful of heavy things. It's not like you could have afforded to pay someone move it for you. So, Dabi was your next best thing.

"I had you put your muscles to good use." You shrug. "And I helped out some, I helped you move the couch and my bed. Speaking of, you'll need a bed won't you?"

"No, I like sleeping on the floor." Dabi said sarcastically. "Alright, saves me the trouble in taking more money out from my bank account." You stood and walked away from the couch and into the kitchen. There were still a few cookware you hadn't put away yet. "Sleep on the floor then."

"I can get my own bed. Worry about yourself." Dabi kicks his feet up onto the coffee table. "Right, because a villain can just walk into any mattress store and buy a bed." You crosses your arms, Dabi shoots you a look. "I have my own bed."

"What?" Your arms drop to your side. "So, you've had a place to stay this whole time!?"

"I never said I didn't." Dabi smirked. "Your old place was just a lot more...cleaner." If there was ever a time you wanted to strangle him more, it would be now. "So all the times you needed to lay low...you had your own place to do so?" Dabi nods. "Yep."

You wanted to slam your head into a wall. God you fucking hated him.

"Then why, may I ask, have you been mooching off me this whole goddamn time!?" Dabi lazily turns his head to look at you. "Because like I said, your place is a lot better than mine." He answers simply. "You are fucking unbelievable, you know that? This whole time I thought you were homeless or something. But you had a place you could have been staying at." Dabi lets out an annoyed sigh before standing and walking over to you.

"I thought I made it very clear that I had been using you this whole time." You glare at him. "No shit. You threatened to kill me if I don't do what you say."

"Hey, I've toned down the threatening." Dabi defends. "Besides, you held my life in your hands that one night. You could have just let me die right then and there, but you didn't. You could have freed yourself, could have blamed my death on self defense if someone found out. Yet, you gave in and healed me. Why's that?" A sick grin found it's way onto Dabi's face. "Don't tell me, you actually like me. You wanna keep me alive for something don't you?"

You frown. "I already told you why. You've forced me to care about you."

"Yeah fucking right." Dabi's smirk dropped into a deep frown. He was mainly just wanting to find out himself. No one could be that kind and caring, not even you. So he pressed further, not giving you the chance to defend yourself. "Are you lonely perhaps? I've noticed you don't have many friends, if any. We're you keeping me alive to fill that void? How pathetic."

You couldn't believe what this arrogant bitch was saying to you right now. "I may not have friends, not like that's any of your business, but I would sooner take a hot cast iron skillet to the face repeatedly, than ever befriend someone like you!" You pushed past him, but he grabbed your arm and pulled you back. "Then what?" He demanded. "Why did you keep me alive that night? More than that, why waste your time saving someone like me in the first place!?"

"Because I can't let my mother's words mean nothing!" You jerk your arm away. "From day one, my mother had shown nothing but kindness to the people around her. And yet, she was taken advantage of by everyone, even by my own father! She was quirkless for fucks sake, she had nothing but her kindness!" You continue.

"She was treated as less than by everyone, yet she still had the strength to smile and care. And there was a time when I thought she was better than any hero out there, she was my hero, and she was taken away by people like you!" Your voice cracked, not even noticing that you were crying until now. "But if she were still alive, she would have forgave them, because that's just how she is. And if I can't be half the person she was, then what's the point?"

"I have a useful quirk, a quirk that can save lives, but I'm no hero. I never wanted to be a hero. But I can still share this quirk with the people around me." That's what your mother had said while she was still alive. She was fine with you not wanting to be a hero, unlike your father, but she did want you to try and put your quirk to good use. To use for the betterment of the world around you. One could say it was a lot a pressure for a child, you wouldn't disagree. But what else could you do?

However, you were no hero, you've failed to become a doctor, and now you've gotten yourself involved with a villain. You felt that you were only letting your mother down day by day. You weren't bettering anyone's lives, or the world at that.

"I want to continue where she left off. I saved you, because I cared about you, about what might happened to you if I didn't act. I would have done the same for anyone else."

Dabi clenched his fists tightly. There was just no way someone could care about him, not you or anyone. It can't be this simple. "Yeah? And what if you knew it were me? A villain? Would your "kindness" shone through then?" He asked, a venom lacing his tone.

"I would have."

"You're lying!" He snapped. "You hate me! I bet it would have brought you joy to watch me die right then and there!" You shook your head. "It wouldn't have. In fact, I'd never stop thinking about it."

"I'm a villain you idiot!" Dabi exclaims. "I don't deserve kindness! I'm a killer, you think a killer deserves an ounce of pity? No, how about this? What if the villains responsible for killing your mother were here right now? What would you do then?"

You took a moment to think about your answer, but the only thing you could say was-

"I don't know. I doubt I'll ever cross paths with them again, and I've never thought about what I would do before. But, my anger doesn't come from hating villains. In fact, I could never say I hate villains. I don't favor them, don't get me wrong. But I have a feeling, the most of them, turned out the way the did for some reason." Y/n sighed deeply. "The heroes aren't necessarily the good guys either. I know a lot of them are just in it for the money and the fame."

Dabi didn't expect to hear that, he let her go on. "I know it because my father works with them. But I can't speak for every hero, so there's that. I don't know a thing about you, but I do know this, whatever you went through, why you turned out like this, I'm sorry that it happened." With that, you turned and walked away.

Dabi made his way to the front door and walked out of the house, slamming the door behind him

He needed to blow off some steam.

Previous | Next

[captainexplody]

Minibike Madness

Charles Gutteral is the Minibike King, man. He drives his minibike everywhere. If he has to go down to the shops and pick up some groceries or other goods, he hops on one of his minibikes, usually the one he's customised himself in order to add more storage space to the front and the back. Some naysayers would say it looks like one of those bicycles with the basket on the front, and he tells them to go fuck themselves, that's not what it's like at all. It's a cool minibike with loads of storage room and it's perfect for going to the shops with.

If he ever needs to pick up one of his friends from the pub or from the train station for example, he pops a side car onto his minibike and off he goes. Unfortunately he was unable to find a sidecar that would fit appropriately onto the side of his minibike, so he had to settle for a regular motorbike sized sidecar. Fortunately for Charles Gutteral, however, his minibikes are powerful enough to drive around with a full sized sidecar attached to them.

See, Charles Gutteral takes his minibikes seriously, man. Serious as a heart attack, get it? He has seventeen different minibikes that he's been working on for most of his life. He has a minibike for every occasion, so long as the occasion could conceivably involve a minibike into it somehow. He has a minibike for mountaineering, he has a minibike with skiis on it so it can go down a snowy mountain (or potentially drive across a lake or similar sort of body of water if he's able to reach the necessary velocity (which he often can because his minibikes go really fast) )

Sure, his wife left him because of all the time he spends on his minibikes. That's what he would assume would have happened if he had a wife, but he doesn't. He's too busy driving and/or working on his minibikes to have time for talking to a woman, much less asking that woman to live with him in his minibike house. I mean lets be honest, he lives in a really big garage, right? There's seventeen minibikes in it, for Gods sake.

You're probably asking yourself, does Charles Gutteral sleep with the minibikes? (I have a very limited knowledge of what other people might think, so maybe I'm making a really big leap here, but honestly I can't imagine anyone wondering anything other than this by this point) and the answer is yes, technically. I mean he doesn't fuck them or anything, he's not putting his penis in the exhaust pipe or anything, that doesn't happen. C'mon now man, what's wrong with you? Who does that? What I mean is, sometimes he's working on a minibike up in his 'bedroom' which is just another room like all the other rooms in his house, a room covered in minibike parts, and when it comes night time he just falls asleep where he is, pulling a grease covered rag over him to keep him warm, and yeah sometimes when he falls asleep there's a minibike beside him, and he puts his arm around it and cuddles it. Yeah sure, sometimes that happens. Is that a crime? You got a problem with that? It's people like you that make me disgusted in the human race, y'know. A man can't even go to sleep beside a minibike that he's been working on for days and put his arm around it while he sleeps to cuddle it but in a totally platonic manner anymore, huh? You sicken me.

Anyway so Charles Gutteral loves minibikes, is what I'm saying. That's it.

[lighthousegod]

I was with you till the last line here! I think the canon event Miguel "broke" is pretty clear, or at least, he seems to believe it is- he wasn't supposed to be there. Miguel isn't supposed to have a happy ending, he was supposed to die. That affected his daughter's upbringing for sure (I have thought abt her being spiderwoman! Maybe she was meant to live with her uncle Gabriel), and all the people he knew, but those are just the butterfly effects of the initial break, which he believe was that he existed in the universe past "his" death.

This is where I think my opinion diverges from a LOT of Miguel analysis, cause many have come to the conclusion that Miguel is running from guilt. Op's analysis seems very thorough and well done, but I've seen a ton of fans who assume Miguel is wholeheartedly a selfish, cowardly villain, and they came to this same conclusion- if Miguel's canon theory is proven wrong, he has to blame himself for the destruction of Gabriella's universe. And that genuinely doesn't make sense to me because, first and foremost,

He already does.

The canon theory doesn't absolve Miguel of guilt, it HINGES on it. He shows us that, it's why he's so hard on Miles- he believes that, if you prioritize your happiness over the way things "should" be, you will cause an anomaly and the universe will collapse. Now, obviously his situation isn't the same as Miles, cause Miles really didn't do a damn thing wrong and saving his dad is still not the same as hopping universes, but I digress. I don't think Miguel is projecting his guilt onto Miles, I think he's projecting his insecurity- he isn't like the others, neither is Miles, and for some reason he thinks that makes both of them dangerous. Now, I don't know why he'd think that (unless SOMEONE is lying to him, but nobody wants to hear all that), but the train scene kinda solidifies it for me that he does. Cause the original chase wasn't about Miles being an anomaly, it was about Miles trying to save his dad. By the end, though, Miguel is saying his existence in the first place is causing the problem- now, logically, I assume Miguel thinks the universe can correct certain breaks in canon if everything else goes to plan, but it can't do that forever. However, we don't even know that. We know almost nothing about this theory, about where it came from, about who came up with it (though everyone seems to think Miguel did.. isn't he a geneticist? I suppose they could've changed his field of expertise, but that's odd considering a genetic experiment is what gave him his powers). Either way, it's clear to me that Miguel is CERTAINLY guilty about his universe collapsing, like, incredibly so. He tells everyone this morally skewed decision he made, he admits it wasn't right of him to do, and puts all that out there so other spider-people understand the supposed consequences.

If he was proven wrong, that wouldn't mean he was at fault. It'd mean he wasn't, actually. If he wanted to seem less villainous, that'd be the best thing for him to believe. But he refuses to. He carries his guilt everywhere and uses it to motivate his actions, and it seems like that's all he has in 2099. He didn't project his mistakes onto Miles, he'd already admitted to them. Instead, he projected this belief that he deserved what happened to him because he's already Wrong, already a break in canon to exist like he does. He projects this idea that, because he's different, he should've learned to assimilate and deal with unhappiness that comes with being spiderman (possibly to a greater degree than the original story, considering his comic origin)- I mean, think about how he blames Miles for getting bit. Everyone assumes he's taking Rapture to give him powers, but I'm still under the impression it was his attempt to rid himself of Rapture's addiction that gave him his powers via the experiment being sabotaged w spider dna, like in his original comic. That's genuinely not his fault, either, but he seems to blame himself regardless. If any guilt is being projected onto Miles, it's Miguel's guilt for existing at all, even if he didn't want this life in the first place. He's kinda victim blaming Miles here for sure, but it seems to be because he blames himself for being one, too. (Unless his spiderman origin changed- not impossible! But I do doubt it was something he wanted, all things considered.)

So, if the canon theory being wrong doesn't make him responsible, why is he so attached to the idea? Well, I got two theories:

1, he has a hard time believing he ISN'T at fault. His entire reasoning for leading the spider society is because his guilt motivates him, so he can make sure it doesn't happen again. I assume there is a part of him that is doing this for redemption, but like OP said, he doesn't believe he deserves to want a happy ending anymore- not sure he would be able to admit that part. However, that still doesn't explain why he believes this theory to a fault- why would someone WANT to feel guilty, and welcome that when it seems so miserable? Well, we already talked about how he views Miles' existence as spiderman (something he could not control) as Miles' fault, and it's likely due to him blaming himself for the very same thing (which again, kinda victim blaming.. kinda makes me think someone told Miguel the same shit he spewed to Miles at some point). Which leads me to my second point,

If the canon theory isn't true, and Miguel's existence DIDN'T cause the entire alternate universe to collapse- what the hell did? If he can't blame his own actions, who can he? Well, with all his other canon events, his spider "bite" accident, his addiction to Rapture, and even his fiance's death in the comics all have one thing in common: these things were done TO him. They were not plain old accidents. His addiction started because he was drugged, his experiment to fix it was sabatoged intentionally, and his fiance was killed in crossfire when the son of the Ceo of Alchemax went after Miguel because of his father's favoritism to Miguel over himself. (Spoilers !!!! But even the reason Tyler stone, the CEO, favored Miguel had nothing to do with his own actions- Tyler is Miguel's real father! His half brother tried to kill him out of jealousy, although I'm unsure of whether he knew they were related or not). Now, we don't know how his story differs in the movies, but I'm willing to bet he doesn't blame others, but himself, for every single one. That is because, especially when you lose your autonomy (by being drugged in his case, what triggered his origin story), the lack of control you have can create a terrible mental state. Admitting victimhood is not always an easy thing- sometimes, blaming yourself is the only way people can hold themselves together. Survivor's guilt is a good example of this phenomenon. Especially when someone is manipulated or forced into something, the perpetrator benefits from their victim believing that fighting back, changing the situation, or getting justice is a lost cause. To assure this, they often convince the victim that they're at fault somehow- they chose this, or their ignorance caused it, and they deserve what's happening, so, of course, that no one would bother to help them. It's really easy to convince someone who already has a strong sense of responsibility that everything is their fault, that's like spiderman weakness 101. In Miguel's case, loss of control is an ever-looming threat- I mean, hell, he doesn't even have spidey sense. For him to face that he isn't at fault, he'd have to accept the terrifying reality that these things Just Happened. Knowing the "canon" story, even if he failed at complying to it, reassures him that some things do happen for a reason- and maybe happiness is possible, for the "right" spider-people. If that's NOT true, and there is no destiny, it means none of this was in his control after all- he didn't WANT to have to escape such an unhappy life, and he didn't choose to be targeted. And yet, it still happened. Can you imagine how.. depressing that may seem? Especially considering the guilt of choice is gone- how quickly someone can go from "I have an unhappy life because I broke my canon and have to deal with the consequences" to "there was never a plan, and I'm unhappy due to things that happened to me by chance. There is no reason I am unworthy of happiness, I just am."

Like. FUCK, man. It's so distressing to have your choice taken away. I mean, hell, half of the population of the U.S. is dealing with that right now! It is so, so, so hard to be at peace with a lack of control- especially when you've experienced something malicious, and especially when you have never really lived guilt-free. Miguel's family life was shitty from day one, and I believe even his mom's mental state is something he blames himself for because he thinks he reminds her of their abuser (Miguel's stepdad and Conchatta's husband). My point is, regardless of the details, a main theme in Miguel's story is that he consistently rationalizes the horrible things others do to him by assuming he's done something to deserve it, and he almost never actually did. The worst things he does in the comics are almost always out of fear. So no, I don't think he's running from guilt. I think he's running from the truth- that everything that's happened to him, his fault or otherwise, has been for nothing. He's still unhappy, and he's still alone. That's just... so hopeless. That's so fucking sad, bro.

However I don't think that's true, bro def needs to change his behaviors and stop pushing everyone away. It's just that it shouldn't be bc he hates himself the way he is, for being different or having different experiences or different physical attributes. You can only afford yourself grace if you think you deserve it, and I'm willing to bet he's been told all his life that he doesn't.

Miles is def gonna prove him wrong, tho. I can go on and on abt both of them and their great expectations, but I will not. Point is, he's got that spark, he did way before he put on the mask. Miguel's gonna see it whether he wants to or not.

-Miguel O'Hara Rant

The weight of the world on his shoulders

OH IT'S TIME

Time to share my thoughts that absolutely nobody asked for

So, Miguel Ohara. What's his deal right? Man singlehandendly caused the whole internet to break and thirst for this unhinged man.

But his character is so much more, complex. GOD it's so hard to even describe it, and that's cool but i see some people already theorizing about "his true intentions".

NOT THAT THE THEORIES AREN'T COOL. But people suddenly expecting for a secret twist that ranks him as the "absolute villain" over the spot is well, somewhat weird to me.

Because the thing is, Miguel is no villain, he's more antagonistic if anything (and YES there's a difference and yes I'll write about it later lmao).

We've grown accustomed to twist villains, so we take any complex character and try to pull a card from under the table (like people expecting Lyla to secretly be the one controlling Miguel's actions and is tricking him or something idk - THE CONCEPT IS AMAZING TO READ ABOUT THOUGH, YOU GO GUYS, YOU ARE AMAZING AND I LOVE Y'ALL).

But the conversartion about Miguel's character starts to drift away a little once the theme starts to be more like: "Omg what if Miguel is brain-washing the other spiders into believing he's a good guy by lying about his story so everyone empathizes with him and they ultimately destroy the spiderverse altogether"

And yes THE DARK! MIGUEL CONCEPT IS AMAZING, I LOVE SEEING THAT MAN UNHINGED AND K WORD EVERYONE AND, YOU GUYS WRITE IT SO GOOD????? I LOVE YOU ALL???????

BUT, i don't think think Miguel is lying, at least not intentionally. If anything, he's lying to himself quite hard.

----------------------------------

There's just something... wrong about his canon theory and "the death of the universe" mumbo jumbo.

1st hint: He blankly compares his own actions; literally TAKING THE IDENTITY OF A DEAD MAN TO RAISE HIS OTHER UNIVERSE'S DAUGHTER MAN WTF, QUITE LITERALLY DISRUPTING THE BALANCE OF THE WORLD BC HELLO YOU'RE SUPOSSED TO BE DEAD HERE-, to the spot attacking Pav's universe.

So, something is definately wrong, right? The movie shows us so. We're basically Miles inside the story, we know that the destruction of Mumbattan started before Miles even disrupted the "canon event", we saw the spot leave one of his portal spot thingies behind to destroy Pav's universe from within. And the way it's happening, looks nothing like Miguel's demonstration of a universe dying.

But Miguel wasn't there with us, he just knows someone disrupted a canon event, and the universe is about to collapse.

Sure, one could say "maybe, it's basically happening because the captain didn't die, maybe it was the spot but still the universe it's disappearing because of it anyway so Miguel is essentially right and -"

AND then it clicks, that's how Miguel is exactly thinking.

It doesn't matter if it's not like how it happened to Gabriella's universe, the universe it's collapsing so it's essentially the same thing, right? And that's exactly how a man with severe "universe collapsing" PTSD would think.

Yes, Miguel is deeply traumatized by the consequences of his actions.

For those that are familiar with his base story. This man has gone through it. But he saw himself; in another life, happy, with a family, he wasn't suffering, he wanted that too, so he took comfort on it, because if a version of you can be happy, well you can at least try, right?

But oh no, the fantasy died, he died. Was he not meant to be hapy? Was every version of himself meant to lose everything and become a tragic tale? Was it really all that's to his story?

So, he holds onto the last piece of hope he had and decides to freaking replace his dead self and raise his alternate reality's daughter.

No shit he caused the universe to collapse, right? He stayed too long (and Miguel might be a Genius and all but not even he can just, stop the order of the universe with a fancy watch), he kept the memory of a dead man quite literally alive. And that cost him EVERYTHING.

And what does he do next? Man just latches onto another safe net: "i changed the canon, so the universe died" <- MAN IS TRYING TO MAKE IT A SPIDERMAN THING.

And yes i might be a little to harsh here but well, he's essentially escaping the full pain of the consequences of his actions

"I may have interefered with a natural force but it was essentially the canon being broken so that must've been it"

WHAT CANON DID YOU EXACTLY BREAK MAN? Was Gabriella meant to grow up and become spider-woman? Was this her uncle ben/being an orphan moment? Was Miguel spiderman there too? Was he meant to die so a new spiderman could take the mantle? Was he not spiderman there? Was there another spiderman/woman in that universe? What did Miguel do for him to assume that he broke "the spiderman canon"?

Well, we don't know.

And he's adamant about not even trying to prove or explain his theory further as well. And he's not going to allow anybody to even try to prove him right or wrong.

2nd hint: Why are the universal effects not the same? If Pav's universe is dying bc of the canon, why was the destruction of it faster than Gabriella's universe? Why didn't Gwen's universe didn't die as soon her father resigned from being a captain? Heck, why didn't Gwen's universe die when she left? She left her universe unprotected, there was no spider-woman there.

But Miguel stands his ground, he's right and everyone else is wrong. Because he needs to be right.

Because if he's not, then he killed an entire universe because of his selfish desires of happiness...something that he doesn't even believe himself to deserve to want.

And that's what makes his story so...deeply tragic and enticing. He's a hurt man that pushes any helping hand away, because his mind and heart are not ready to process the whole weight of what he's feeling.

He has taken control over everyone's story because he desperately needs everything in control. He can't allow another mistake that might lead another universe full of innocent people to disappear.

Conclusion: He sees himself in Miles and he absolutely hates it.

He also knows what it is to want your story to be different, to be willing to do anything to be happy and protect something/someone you care about.

And wouldn't it hurt more if Miles gets his happy ending? If Miles is right and nothing happens after he saves his dad, then the canon is basically a useless theory that he made up to find comfort, and he doomed his daughter's reality because he needed to be happy.

He needs to be right, because if he's not, what else does he have?

"We're supposed to be the good guys"

"We are"

[peachiipark]

Adult Trio with a s/o who loves animals. I miss my cats...

𝐚𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐭 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐨 - 𝐡𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐱 𝐡𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫

before i even begin..

okikunorowa, i am SO sorry 😭 i've abandoned your request for this long! honestly, my only defense is that i've been getting into so many different things that i almost completely fell out of the hxh fandom. lately however, i'm back and better than ever! it's impossible to escape the show tbh 💗

i hope the characterization is okay since this is my first time writing for hxh in a WHILE. thanks again for requesting and i hope you can forgive my incompetence 😞

i wish i took a more "OH MY GOD THERE'S A RANDOM RACCOON IN THE STREET ITS MINE" approach now ..

chrollo-lucilfer.com

"chrollo, look!" y/n's eyes brightened as their boyfriend walked into the room. for the past few hours, y/n had been trying to train their pets to learn tricks that they thought fit each of the animals best. "i think they all got it down!"

"kiki, flip!"

"bonnie, spin!"

"bartholomew-"

"bartholomew?" chrollo questioned with a chuckle, slightly tilting his head at his lover.

"yes, the kitten, we've been over this!" y/n replied, frustration bleeding through their words since it seemed like the hour long PowerPoint on their pets had no effect on chrollo. "we'll save you for later, mewmew."

"why don't you come out with me, my love? it's been a while since you've left your room." chrollo gave y/n a loving smile, sitting down on their bed.

"but.. bartholomew just learned how to ride on a roomba! it's.. it's really cute! i wanna see how long he can stay onto it." y/n pouted a bit, averting their eyes from chrollo and back to the small kitten.

"how about this. we can take the animals out with us. i'm sure kiki might love a walk." he tried to negotiate with his stubborn s/o.

"what about bonnie? he likes to hop out of people's arms." y/n retaliated.

"we can make accomodations for bonnie and bartholomew as well, so no excuses for the kitten." chrollo stood up and opened y/n's bedroom door, reaching into the hallway and pulling out a gift for them.

"apparently, there's these.. pet strollers being sold for, well, pets. pet shops have started selling twin carts, so i decided to get one for you, my love."

".."

"chrollo."

"hm?"

"i have never been more in love with you than now."

"that's good to hear." he smiled softly, watching as y/n grabbed their coat.

illumi-zoldyck.com

y/n scanned their surroundings, swiftly re-entering the zoldyck mansion with their guard. thankfully, illumi was on a mission and was not aware of what they had done. "y/n, wait! perhaps we should ask for master illumi's approval.."

y/n spun around, placing down the contents in their hand onto their and illumi's shared bed. "don't worry, i'm sure he won't even notice."

"highly unlikely."

"huh— illumi?"

"m-master illumi!" the butler straightened up her posture, averting her gaze from illumi's dead stare. "my apologies, my lord. t-they really wanted to go the pet shop and i didn't want to abandon-"

"it's okay, you don't have to defend me." y/n turned to illumi, putting their hands on their hips. "yes, i have another dog. it's not like i have a problem or anything!"

"i do not understand the appeal of these animals."

"what about mike?" shifting their weight onto their other leg, y/n gave illumi a puzzled look. "mike's a good boy!"

"mike is a guard dog used for attack and defense. your.. fluffy thing cannot do any of that."

"lumi, don't be mean to him! apologize to coco. he's new here and facing aggression early on will make him more distant! i don't wanna have to try getting him used to me again.." y/n continued to ramble, covering coco's ears as illumi looked down onto him. "please.. say sorry for me? maybe pet him?"

"no."

"oh.." y/n made a sad expression, obviously exaggerating their emotions.

caving in, illumi placed his stiff hands onto coco's fur and stroked it. "i'm.. sorry, y/n."

"one more time!"

"and.. coco."

hisoka-morrow.com

"aren't you coming to bed, my sweet?" hisoka purred, leaning onto the doorframe and eyeing his lover. "i'm sure wigglesworth isn't a better partner than me."

but y/n was most definitely.. not listening! they sat in the low lit living room, their cat's LED bed being the highest source of light. despite sitting there for ages, y/n's thighs most certainly did not hurt. they were too busy admiring their pets to care anyway.

hisoka sighed dramatically, his face dropping into a blank stare. walking over to his s/o, he picked them up and threw them over his shoulder. "wait, put me down! i'll come to bed, i swear!"

"hm.. i guess it is quite nice to see you walk in all pretty. fine." hisoka complied, dropping y/n back onto the floor.

little did he know, y/n wasn't the only one looking all pretty.

".. must the cat really stay right there." hisoka spoke with a forced smile on his face, obviously frustrated by the fact that wigglesworth is getting more affection than him.

"hisoka, don't be a baby."

he let out a sigh, feeling wigglesworth's annoyingly warm body between the two of them.

accompany on: to the masterlist!

[capricornlevi]

PLS RA CHOSO♥️

hello lovely! this is another silly little fun fic I'm enjoying way too much, it miiiight be a multichap but we'll see! either way i can't wait to finish writing it, hope you enjoy! <3

R.A. Choso x Reader

“What’s Choso gonna do about it?” Gojo goads you with a toothy grin, “all we’re doing is having some drinks - it’s a Saturday! There’s nobody else here! And look, if we get reported and he shows up, we’ll just get you to answer the door - you can just bat your little eyelashes at him and our problems will be solved!”

“You’re annoying when you drink,” you mutter while passing him to go fetch your phone off the bed. “Well, more annoying.”

You hop onto the bed, Utahime sitting cross-legged beside you clutching a drink of her own. With a smile, you notice her throwing Gojo a withering look. 

It’s not that she disagreed with his general point - Utahime wanted to drink before the party, too - but she’d be damned if she let Gojo try to wind you up without coming to your defence. 

“Oh!” Gojo bursts out triumphantly. “Maybe you’re hoping he’ll stop by! In that case, we can turn on some music? I can ask Suguru and Riko to come by? Bringing in overnight guests without permission means getting written up, right?”

“Shut up, Satoru,” Shoko sighs from her place on the floor. 

“Yeah,” Utahime chimes in. “You either want us to get away with it or you don’t.”

“I’m just trying to stand up for a friend!” Gojo beams up at you all. “You know how the two of them get when they’re together. It’s cute, really. Heartwarming!”

“He’s our R.A, idiot,” you retort, but without much venom. “We haven’t even talked outside of this apartment.”

“Yet!” Gojo corrects you, gesturing dramatically with the hand not holding his beer. “But if my plan is executed just right-”

“-Ok, if you’re gonna keep on this, I’m going to head downstairs to get some snacks,” you reply, sliding back off the bed and throwing on a hoodie. You walk out the door to the sounds of your three friends bickering animatedly, and turn down the hallway to head to your building’s foyer. 

Except when you round the corner, not really paying attention to your surroundings, you bump into the very person that your friends are arguing about at this moment. 

He doesn't look surprised to see you. This means one of two things: either you've already been reported by someone on your floor (which seems unlikely given how it's still early in the evening), or Choso was on his way to come speak with you directly.

Both options make your stomach twist into knots, but for very different reasons.

Looking up at him, you try and look impassive. You try and look like you aren't focusing on him - on his soft but beautiful features that caught your eye that first day, on his hair tied up in that perfectly messy way, on that silver nose ring - piercings were never even really a thing for you before now, you're not sure why you're so focused on it - and on the heavy-lidded way he looks at you.

There's a part of you that hopes your roommates got reported, because that would mean you don't have to think of something to say to him right now. You could just go back to your room sheepishly and watch silently as you get written up.

It wouldn't be ideal, obviously, but at least it would be clinical. Impersonal. Less intimidating than this - whatever this is.

He interrupts your train of thought by clearing his throat softly, then starts to speak.

[nakachuchu]

Yearly Rut | Sub!Bunny!Hinata Shoyo (nsfw)

SYNOPSIS: Beast-people AU - Shoyo gets scared after a horror movie and wants to sleep with you.

READER: female

INCLUDES: mommy kink, mother figure, humping, somnophilia, sub/dom, femdom, praise, pet/master

WORDS: 1240

WRITTEN: 04/17/2021

NOTES: This started off with a thrist bc of @iwas-baby and now it's a fic 😋 I also blame @dilfhub bc I cant stop thinking about pet!haikyu men

Shoyo didn't grow up with a mother or a family. His parents and his sister were adopted before him, leaving him alone in the pet shop.

When you adopted him, you became his mother figure. You were the only constant in his life and he absolutely adored you.

He followed you around everywhere you went. If you needed to use the bathroom? He was going to follow you inside and wait in the corner. If you were cooking? He'd be waiting by his dinner bowl. If you were gardening? He'd be playing on the grass.

The only place he couldn't follow you to was your job. He would have hated it much more if he didn't sleep during the day. He was able to waste at least six hours by sleeping, and he would have slept more if he didn't wake up because of how much he missed you.

You worked eight hours a day, so he'd have to waste another two hours until you came back home. He usually pouted and huffed while curling up in your bed.

He technically wasn't allowed in your bed because he had a problem with messing up your bed by biting your blankets out of frustration, but he missed your scent.

"Shoyo, I'm home!"

You could hear the thumping of his feet as he rounded the corner, sliding and hopping toward you.

You laughed as you opened your arms just in time for him to collide against your body and wrap his arms around you.

His ears stood up, hitting you in the face as he rubbed his nose into the crook of your neck. He made sure to scent you after a long day at work.

"Sweetie, I still have to shower first."

He frowned at that. He didn't love showers because he hated how loud it was, but he wanted to spend as much time as possible with you.

"Can I shower too?"

You kissed his ear, chuckling when they twitched. "All right, sweetie."

He grinned and turned around, running excitedly to the bathroom while taking off his clothes—which was a simple oversized t-shirt. You could see his cute, puffy tail wiggling before he disappeared around the corner.

You followed after him and took off your clothes before turning the shower on. You washed his back and his hair for him, and he did the same for you in return.

Once the two of you were finished showering, you headed to the kitchen to prepare dinner. Shoyo sat by his dinner bowl the whole time, patiently waiting until you were finished making your meal so that the two of you could eat together.

His ears swayed side to side as he ate his meal with you at the table. He asked you the same questions he always did each time.

"How was work, Y/N? Did you miss me? Did you eat lunch? Did anything fun happen? Did anyone touch you?"

And you always answered the same way. "Work was good, Shoyo. I always miss you. Yes, I ate lunch. Work is never fun. I shook hands with a client today."

Once dinner was over, the two of you retreated to the living room to watch a movie before bedtime.

"I wanna watch a horror movie today!" he exclaimed.

You leaned in and kissed the tip of his nose. He smiled and held onto your waist, fists clenching around your pajama shirt.

"Are you sure? I don't want you getting scared later," you said.

He pouted. "I'm a big boy! I can handle it."

"Okay, sweetie, whatever you say."

And so, you scrolled through Netflix to find a horror movie to watch. Once you picked one and turned off the lights, the two of you settled down on the couch.

Shoyo sat next to you and there was a blanket covering the two of you. He was holding your hand, eyes trained intently on the television screen.

He would jump and his ears would flop down when a jump scare appeared, then he would cling onto you until he felt safe again. The cycle repeated itself, but you didn't mind.

"Y/N," he whined. "Can I sleep you with tonight?"

"I told you you would get scared, baby."

He pouted. "I know. 'm sorry."

You placed your hand on his head and gently rubbed his ears. He leaned into your touch, humming softly.

"Okay, let's go to sleep," you whispered.

He smiled and held onto your hand as you turned off the television and led him to the bathroom to brush your teeth before going to your bedroom.

He hopped onto your bed and slid under the covers, then waited for you to join him. You slid into bed and he covered you with the blanket before cuddling up against you.

"Good night," you whispered.

"Good night. I love you," he murmured.

"I love you too, sweetie."

The two of you slowly drifted off to sleep with Shoyo clutching your shirt tightly, afraid of the monsters under the bed.

He woke up in the middle of the night, feeling hot and sweaty. He kicked the blanket off, forgetting that he was sharing it with you.

He whined at the sight of your ass pressing against his hard cock. You were sleeping peacefully on your side, faced away from him.

He didn't know what day or month it was. He wasn't very good with numbers or keeping count, but it felt like it was time for his rut.

He panted as he gripped your hip with one hand. He started rubbing his cock against you because he couldn't help it. He was whimpering and whining, ears flopping around as he pulled your thigh back to splay across his hip. His hand now held onto your thigh, nails digging into it as he humped your ass.

With you being jostled around and the feeling of heavy breaths fanning your ear, it was no wonder you woke up.

You blinked a few times to get rid of the drowsiness. You could feel his hard cock rubbing against your ass, dampening your panties.

You looked behind you and saw his pretty tears staining his rosy cheeks that glistened in the moonlight.

"Shoyo," you called out.

He didn't even stop. He whimpered and looked at you, sniffling and crying out for his mommy.

"M-Mommy, it h-hurts," he cried.

You cooed. "I'm sorry, baby. I must have forgotten about your rut. Want some help?"

"Y-Yes, p-please."

You spread your legs and he crawled between them, pulling up his shirt to press his cock against your cunt through your panties.

He began to rub his cock against your cunt, scissoring himself with your legs. Your panties were damp because of his pre-cum and your cum.

Each time he rubbed against you, the head of his cock slid against your clit. He whimpered and sniffled, grabbing your leg to hold as support.

"M-Mommy—"

"Are you cumming? That's it. Good boy," you cooed.

He panted and his pace quickened as he sloppily thrust his hips back and forth, rubbing his cute cock against your panties.

"Nngh—"

His cum spurted out, painting your tummy in white. He panted, eyes heavy as his cock twitched.

" 'is not enough, Mommy," he whined.

You knew Shoyo could go on for hours during his rut. It didn't matter how many times he came. It was never enough.

"It's okay, sweetie," you reassured. "Mommy will help."

[teenage-idiot]

In the Blink of an Eye - 6

Avengers Age of Ultron | Quicksilver x Female Reader Fan-fiction.

*WARNING SPOILERS*

Contains strong language, sexual references and mentions of death.

741 words

CHAPTER 6

I flung open the door to my room and kicked off my shoes, walked into the bathroom and locked the door. I stripped out of my dirty clothes and hopped in the shower. I let out a sigh as the hot water hit my back, relaxing me after a stressful day hard at work. I finished showering after what was probably half an hour, and got ready for dinner. 

Quite soon I was completely ready, and I still had some time before I had to be downstairs. I flopped onto the bed and just lay there for a few seconds, thinking about everything that had happened to me over the past few days. I was lost in thought, and then a loud knock at the door made me jump, bringing me back to reality.

I strolled over to the door and opened it, revealing none other than Hawkeye himself.

"Hi Clint," I said.

"Hi y/n. I just wanted to say that you did a great job at training today."

"Oh, thank you."

"No problem. I actually have something for you."

Immediately, I was incredibly curious as to what it might be, "Oh really? Okay."

"Yeah. This is for you." 

From behind his back he produced a long, black bow, and placed it gently in my arms.

"Wow, you didn't have to-"

"I know. I just saw what a good archer you are and I thought you'd like it."

"I do. I really do. Thank you so much," I smiled widely at him.

"You're welcome," he chuckled, "You can bring it to training tomorrow."

"I will. Thank you."

"See you at dinner," he nodded, and then walked away down the hall.

I shut the door and looked at the bow for a minute, admiring it, and then placing it away in the cupboard safely. No sooner had I done this than there was another knock on the door. 

I frowned, wondering who it could be this time, but nonetheless, opened the door to greet whoever was waiting on the other side.

"Uh, hi y/n."

It was Pietro, standing there rubbing the back of his neck with an awkward smile plastered on his face.

"Hey Pietro," I smiled, genuinely happy to see him.

"I was just curious to see if you might want to walk with me to dinner?" he raised his voice at the end, as if he was scared I might slam the door in his face.

"Yeah, sure. I would like that," I said softly, giving him a goofy grin.

He breathed a sigh of relief and cracked a smile, so that we were both standing there smiling like idiots in the hallway. I snapped out of my daze and turned to close the door behind me.

On the way to dinner we struck up a conversation about one another, and started to get to know each other a little better.

"So...super speed?" I asked.

"You only just noticed?" he smirked down at me.

I laughed with him for a few seconds, and then we began talking again.

"So what about you?" he asked, paying full attention to me as he talked.

"Well, you know I got my powers from Hydra, telekinesis and all that-" 

"No, I mean what about you. The real you."

I just stopped and stared at him blankly, slightly taken aback. No one had ever been interested in me before. If anybody ever did talk to me after learning what I can do, that was all they cared about, wanting me to show them a few 'tricks' or do something 'cool' for them. Nobody actually cared about me.

"Well, um, what do you want to know?" I asked, sort of unsure on what to tell him.

"Anything," he spoke in a gentle tone, smiling sweetly as he did so.

"Okay, um...My name's y/n, I have super powers, I'm scared of the dark and being alone, oh and clowns! Clowns are scary... Um, I love ice cream, and pizza, and I love to listen to music and sing at the top of my lungs. I also love animals."

I looked at Pietro, expecting him to say something, but instead he just smiled at me, looked down and shook his head.

"You are such a dork," he said whilst laughing at me.

I laughed too, and then opened the door to the dining hall which we'd arrived at, holding the door for Pietro behind me as I entered.

[downwiththemutantnjnjaturtles]

We Met Within This Screen (chapt. 5)

[Donnie x fem reader]

sfw, chapt. 4 here

Just as Donnie had predicted, the night air was cold on his scales. Right upon leaving, Mikey brought up to Leo going in pairs this time, to cover more ground, he said. An extra thorough patrol. Donnie honestly couldn't make up his mind and so by then he was flying by the seat of his pants, not objecting to Mikey's plan, but also not agreeing. He doubted Leo would be convinced, anyway. They didn't do duo patrols that often. 

"I was thinking we could split up this time, you know, me and Donnie, you and Raph?" suggested Mikey, closing the manhole behind himself.

"I thought you liked it when we're all together," Leo commented. 

Donnie shot Mikey a look, trying to tell him to cool it, but he shrugged, "Come on, it'll be like some kind of training or...something," Mikey went behind Leo and shook his shoulders, "aren't you into that?"

Internally, Donnie facepalmed. Unless he actively tried to stop this, it was going to happen, wasn't it? One way or another, probably; it all depended on how Leo was feeling that night. Raph was indifferent. He didn't care whether they were all together or in pairs, just that he got to flex his combat skills some. If he could, he'd go out and do it on his own, even. 

Leo looked around, considering Mikey's suggestion. "Okay," he agreed, eventually. "You and Donnie take East, Raph and I will cover the usual route and then—" 

"No," Mikey interjected. Both Leo and Raph's brows furrowed as they stared at their brother. He motioned toward Donnie, "Me and Donnie can take that, you guys just go on ahead," he smiled. "You know I like checking out the skatepark!" 

"No skating," Leo said. 

"I'll just watch whoever's there, then." He pouted.

Raph snorted. "Yeah, make sure he actually pays attention, Donnie." 

"As usual," Donnie sighed, and looked at Leo. 

"Well, what do you think, Don?" 

The decision is up to me? 

Turns out it was his all along, but he wanted to feign innocence in saying that Mikey was the one to drag him through it. Easier to not take responsibility and let life happen at you rather than making a conscious effort, at times. 

"I guess we can do that," Donnie answered reluctantly. He could have said no. Why didn't he? In the corner of his eye, he saw Mikey beam, giving him a discreet thumbs up. 

"Alright, meet back here by four AM, and if either of you run into big trouble, call. We'll come," Leo said. "Same for us."

"Yeah, we'll holler for ya," added Raph dismissively. "And nah, a big dog doesn't count as trouble, Mikey." He sounded gruff, but in actuality, he was still chuckling to himself over that years later. After they got over being annoyed that he had called them from that far while they were on a supply run. Chased by a junkyard dog—some of their least favorite parts about visiting those places. 

"Hey, it was mean! And way fast!" Mikey protested as they parted ways, them taking to the East and red and blue the opposite way. 

As per course, Donnie and Mikey took their normal route, and his heart skipped a beat when they met the scene of their last run-in with criminals. Not because of them, no, but because of the familiar apartment building that was now more intimidating than he'd expected. They circled the area like they normally would have, but Mikey came to stop them on a roof just opposite of the complex, eyes searching each window. Obscured by the height of the building, he sat on the edge. 

Donnie didn't know what to do with himself. He stood back a good ten feet, somehow paranoid of being spotted even though he knew it was not possible from their angle in the complex. Mikey was comfortable, and weirdly at peace as he sat there quietly on the edge, assumed to be waiting for his brother to make a move. But Donnie was stuck in place. 

"What are you waiting for, D?" 

The sudden question broke him from his stillness. It was true; he didn't know what he was waiting for. 

"I—I don't know what you want me to do, what are you thinking?" Donnie asked in return, stepping back a little further as he noticed movement behind the curtains of a lit window. 

"Get your phone out and talk to her," Mikey told him, waving his hand at the apartments. "What did we come out here for if you aren't gonna make it right, bro? Do some smooth talk, tell her you're sorry and you wanna get to know her better…"

"This is absolutely a ridiculous plan," Donnie said, though as if his hands had thought of their own, they reached for his phone, and a moment later he was looking at the messages. Still nothing. Radio silence on both of their ends. How would he approach it? "I'm sorry I went from hot to cold so fast. Please talk to me again." Too strong. "Sorry, can we get a redo?" Too casual. "I'd like to apologise for being a jerk." Okay, that's just not good. Reconciling was going to be as difficult as he'd thought it would be. 

Mikey came over and looked at his phone screen and his brother floundering, thumbs stuttering across the keyboard, deleting the text, retyping it over and over again for perfection where he wasn't going to find any–

"I got this, let Love Doctor Mikey handle it," he said, taking the phone right from Donnie's hand. 

"You've never been in a relationship, not even talked to anyone, how would you—" 

Mikey shushed him. Donnie was going to snatch the phone away but he spun around, draping himself over his shoulder.  "Just let me work my magic, dude!"  

Donnie couldn't watch; he had to turn away. How sure he was that Mikey was going to say something uncalled for, something weird or bone-headed, and the wait was killing him. What if she didn't even respond? Was that better than doing damage control for Mikey's shenanigans? For someone usually decisive, he could not for the life of him make up his mind about what he wanted at that very instance. 

The phone vibrated. 

Mikey cheered. "Got her on the line, now you just gotta reel 'em in," he grinned, handing the phone back to Donnie. 

"Hey :/

I thought you wanted to stop?"

Mikey kept trying to lean over to catch a glimpse of the screen, but Donnie felt that it was a personal moment, so without skipping a beat, he activated the electric current in his staff and poked it behind him into his brother's plastron. 

"Fine," Mikey whined. He stepped in one last time, "But don't hold out on me here!" 

Trying to find an graceful way to patch this all up, Donnie replied: 

"I apologise for that, and I know you probably want an explanation, but it's hard to explain

Moment of weakness? 

I guess... 

Anyway. I'm not expecting you to suddenly be cool with it, if you don't want to talk to me I understand 

Sorry."

Mikey noticed Donnie's dismal expression and he mellowed out accordingly, standing close but not putting a hand on him, nor saying anything. He didn't watch the phone, but Donnie's face and slumped shoulders. He'd thought it would have been going better by now. 

"I won't lie, I'm still confused 

But if you're going through something, I'm right here for you

Don't worry about it. Just don't give me a spook like that again, I thought it was me  

lol 

Okay it's not funny but this is a little awkward" 

Donnie's heart sank reading that. He'd made her feel bad, even question herself over his problem. Never had he wanted to make her think it was her that drove him off. 

"No, no, it was never you 

Again, I can't really explain…

Is it okay if we just try this again? 

I understand if not."

"Jeez Bo, I already said it's alright 

I WANT to keep talking to you, you're cool

So let's forget about it, yeah? 

Friends again :) "

And like that, his heart took a leap. A smile slowly spread across his face, and without looking away from the screen, grabbed Mikey by the shell, pulling him toward. "Look at this!" he exclaimed. 

"You see it too?" he quirked, pointing at the apartment complex across the road. 

Donnie paused and looked over his shoulder at him, "What?" 

On one of the balconies sat a lone girl, on her phone, and if Mikey looked hard enough, he could see a smile. Definitely a smile. 

"Ah!" yelped Donnie quietly. He scurried back against the wall of the attached building behind him, as far as he could. 

"Dude! Come on, this is perfect!" Mikey nudged him, and when he didn't hop up onto his feet, dragged his brother near the edge of the roof. Donnie was boneless but unwilling, his mind stuck on the fact that she thought he was cool. Him, cool. Was he? She didn't know even the half of it. She didn't know he was a martial artist, technically a genius, and that he'd gone against some of the worst the city had to offer. And without that, she still thought he was cool, as an average guy. 

As average as what my circumstances will allow me to be. 

Feet dragging all the way, Donnie's stomach did a flip as they met the ledge, peering carefully over it in a crouch. They were prone, watching the girl who was completely unaware of their presence. He was, simply put, enraptured, for a second there, studying her features as much as he could from where they were. The details of her face were not distinct due to the distance, but he could tell she was both nothing like he'd imagined and so much more. For once, he didn't immediately question the validity of the situation; there was no "it could be a coincidence", or "it's too unlikely that she would be out just as they were". Not right away. But it hit him when Mikey spoke. 

"You're so lucky, D," he said wistfully. "Really." Head rested on his forearm, his gaze fell on not one thing, but the whole scene, a somber smile gracing him. He was excited, happy for his brother. But deep down, Donnie knew that though Mikey wasn't envious of him in a resentful way, it had to have stung to witness such a thing unfold for someone not himself. Their youngest had always craved connection the most. He looked away from the girl, "I wasn't gonna let you throw away an awesome chance, was I?"

Releasing a heavy breath, Donnie crawled away from the edge, but his eyes remained on that balcony. It was weird to watch someone who didn't know they were being watched. Not in that context. 

"I...guess I may be," Donnie responded. But it would only get more complicated from there. His phone vibrated, breaking his trance, and the message he found read:

"Anyways, with that out of the way, what are you doing?"

Just watching you from a roof, nothing much, Donnie thought. 

"Currently out enjoying the night" 

"Isn't it kinda cold?" 

"What about you?" 

He knew what he meant, because he was there watching her as a chilled breeze rolled through, but she told him she wasn't doing anything. Only relaxing and talking to him. 

It took him a few minutes to get his bearings. To know that he now had tangible evidence that she was a girl, an ordinary person, and that said person really thought he was cool. Worth the effort. He felt exceedingly difficult for not being able to give her a rightful explanation, but comforted by the fact that he wasn't being demanded of one. He felt light. Almost weightless, with Mikey next to him instead of his other cynical, skeptical brothers. For a moment, he had nothing to worry about. 

From across the roof, he could still see the yawn escape her mouth. Probably an indicator that it was time to wrap things up. He didn't want her to stay up too late; it was already odd that she was up at such an hour, almost two AM, but glad nonetheless. 

"Are you tired?"

"Yeah

I think I'm gonna hit the hay

So goodnight, Bo

Talk to you later (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞" 

She got up, leaning on the railing which faced them. 

"I want to stay up with you but—"

Donnie sucked in a sharp breath as she looked up, just barely able to see from underneath the balcony above her. He snagged the strap on Mikey's shell and yanked him back with him away from the edge of the roof, taking cover behind the wall. 

"Shit," hissed Donnie, "do you think she saw us?" 

These shells, they make us look so big! 

"Relax, bro, even if she did, it was only a little bit. Besides, we could be anyone from this far, they don't have pigeon vision." 

"You mean 'eagle vision'?" 

"They're both birds!"

Donnie deadpanned and peeked over the wall. She'd gone in. Three minutes later, he hadn't gotten any texts yet about something weird on the rooftops, so he could finally relax, groaning lightly. "Too close," he breathed out, "Mikey, we need to go, Leo's going to notice we're not back in time if we don't hurry up and get the rest of this route done."

"Already on it," he whooped, vaulting onto the next roof.

As Donnie was scaling the wall of the attached building, he felt his phone vibrate, and curious, he checked it one last time before getting on his way.

"One question before I go

You ever see stuff you can't explain but even if you did you'd sound crazy?"

Oh, no.

"No, I don't."

Chapter 6

[froodycartographer]

A Small Complaint About Mapping Systems

Sasha get your head out of the way, we need to talk about maps.

So there's something that's bugged me for a while about the toad rulership structure. We are initially presented with Toad Tower, overseeing the entirety of the valley. However, we find out in Season 2 that Toad Tower is actually the South Tower, one of four. Now, the name implies that this tower oversees the whole southern quadrant. So does that mean that the entire south of the continent is contained within Frog Valley? Should be a simple answer, look at any decent topographic map and we're done. But, no, of course its not this simple, otherwise I wouldn't be writing this.

This might not be surprising to you Apple Maps users, but maps aren't truth. Especially pre-flight, maps had to make allowances for surveyor error, logistical issues, and the math problems that arise from describing a curved surface onto a flat plane. The further you go back, the more having an accurate map becomes a luxury reserved for the rich. And in the weird feudal-adjacent society that Amphibia seems to be in, we could accept that, sure. But that's an excuse, really. I mean, Hop Pop is just carrying a valley map around in Season 1, and despite how useless it is (seriously, you could have just pointed at some mountains on the horizon, you didn't need a picture that literally just shows a town surrounded by teeth to illustrate that point), we will still call it a map for the purposes of this rant.

And what does it show? That we have a valley, and contained within the valley we have Wartwood, and a tower that we will eventually learn to be the South Tower. This matches up with what we seen in Hop-Popular, where the entire valley votes for Mayor Toadstool. (By the way, Amphibia has electoral districts apparently, I don't have that rant prepared yet but Someday)

However, then we get to Reunion, where Sasha states, outright, that the toads rule over the valley. Not the valley and surrounding neighborhoods. The valley and only the valley. And this makes sense! Because otherwise how could you maintain control over regions when you are cut off from broader Amphibia for an entire winter? Even if the South Tower predates Amphibian unification, it still doesn't make sense to have an administrative base (and an incredibly important one, since we've seen that the towers process taxes) cut off from its own territory, it would be considered a necessary expense to keep a pass open all winter if taxes were on the line. So, okay, let's allow that the South Tower only controls the valley, for whatever reason. Going back to the map behind Sasha, we see that there are three other villages in the valley. Okay, sure it would be weird if Toad Tower only ruled over Wartwood, but wait! Didn't the entire valley vote for mayor? The map only says Wartwood, but it covers a pretty impressive slice of the continent. Why did these other towns get a say in the mayor of Wartwood. I considered that the position of mayor could be more akin to a governor, but let's be honest, Toadstool is a mayor of Wartwood and its surrounding farms, not of some far-off village too. It wouldn't make sense for his character. And the fact that he, an administrator, would be approached for "promotion" to Toad Tower shows that the Mayor of Wartwood is under, either directly or indirectly, the leader of Toad Tower. (Which also raises the question, would that have made Toadstool a captain? Or was Grime's military rank separate from his administrative position over the valley?) Alright, maybe it's some archaic voting system, weirder elected positions exist. But we know that the other towns have been chafing under the rule of the toads, and that they know Hop Pop stood up to tax collectors. Surely some of them would have voted for Hop Pop during the events of Hop Popular, even as a protest vote if they weren't on the revolution train yet. No, let's be honest, as far as the frogs are concerned there is one town in Frog Valley, and as far as the South Tower is concerned there are four. Something isn't adding up, and this should be a simple answer because most of what I said can make maps inaccurate are on a continental level, a single valley should be easy to have consistent maps of. But for some reason Frog Valley just can't make it happen.

Okay, originally I had a further rant about the map on the f'wagon trip and how it also doesn't make sense, but let's be honest the entire timeline of the road trip is off. In Anne Hunter they state that the journey has gone longer than expected and they've run out of food, but in Truck Stop Polly (the next episode) we see Polly ruin a massive supply of dried foodstuffs, and then two episodes later in Quarreller's Pass they imply its been two weeks since they've departed, which matches up with Hop Pop quipping in S1 how they have 2 wacky adventures a week, making the Pass as the first part of Episode 4 the start of their third week of travel. So that's a loss and I'm going to accept that the map doesn't have any use. But go look at it, it's in the first 10 seconds of Truck Stop Polly, and it doesn't match at all what I expected, either from the previously established geography or from the macroview of Amphibia we get in the title sequence.

So where does that leave me? Well, I'm assuming this is intentional. Its pretty good to cover yourself from continuity errors by being abstract in how everything is positioned relative to each other. but this is a bit gratuitous imo. I started off trying to figure out how much territory Toad Tower rules over, and now we're in a question of what even is the valley, which is a problem because the existence of this valley, specifically the mountains that make it such, are what give us the plot of season one. I don't have much expectations for season 3 to resolve this, so this is more just rambling for catharsis than anything else. But I'm gonna keep my eyes peeled, hoping that we can answer at least one of these questions come series end.

[joaquinwhorres]

hoax (Ch. 1) {Sirius Black x F!OC}

SUMMARY ››››› It started out as a simple bet: who could get the girl chosen for them first? After four years of half-hearted attempts, Sirius decides it’s time to make a concerted effort to win over the notoriously undateable Florence Saise.

WORD COUNT ››››› 4,100-ish

WARNINGS ››››› Pretty much every chapter is going to have mentions of sex. Including this one.

A/N ››››› I'm so thankful to every single person who responded to my incessant "does this line make sense?" or "can you read this to tell me what you think?" Without you guys this never would have been uploaded, and I'd never already have the start of a second chapter.

Series Masterlist | Read on ff.net | Read on AO3

Florence Saise was rather convinced that she was the only person not excited to find themselves back at Hogwarts. Everyone else seemed to be coping with the looming start of the school year just fine, if the laughter and shouts that greeted her as she flung open the carriage door was any indication. It was, by all accounts that mattered, (which is to say, hers) not fair.

The blonde haired girl jumped down from the horseless carriage, landing with a heavier thump than might have been expected from her small frame. Before her, masses of students cursed up the hill chattering to one another with smiles on their faces. Not one had the same little crease between their eyebrows that threatened to turn into a full-on scowl.

It was as if every single one of them had either forgotten the bullshit that came along with living amongst their peers or were still blissfully unaware of the curse that was adolescence. Even her friends, who hopped down out of the carriage behind her, seemed too entrenched in the debate that had stretched from the train compartment to the carriage, to fully register what being back at Hogwarts meant.

"You've been quiet, Lory, what do you think?" Marlene asked, throwing an arm around Florence's shoulder as the small group of girls joined the throng of students.

"If Sebastian doesn't know what to do with his tongue when kissing, there's not much hope for him using it elsewhere. You'd do better with Roger."

"Aha!" Marlene cried out triumphantly, pointing a finger at Mary. "That makes it two for Roger, one for Sebastian, and one for giving up on boys all together," she tallied as Florence shrugged out from under her arm. Lily appeared on Florence's other side, trapping Florence in the middle of the group.

"You can't just use physical stuff as the metric for whether or not a relationship will be any good," Lily asserted. "There's more to dating than snogging and sex."

"Says the person who's never properly snogged anyone," Marlene stage whispered to Mary.

"Exactly," Lily said, perhaps a little too passionately. "And look how fulfilled I am."

Marlene shot Florence a skeptical look, and Lily reached across her to smack at Marlene's arm. This started another round of fierce debating, Lily reminding Mary that Sebastian had written her once a week all summer whereas Roger had only written four times, Marlene reminding Mary that she didn't want to die a virgin, and Dorcas reminding Mary that she never had any of these problems with her girlfriends.

Florence felt a dull needling, like a knuckle digging into the side of her head. At this rate, she was going to have a headache before they even reached the castle.

The Gryffindor strode ahead of the group, near enough that she wouldn't catch any flack for abandoning them but far enough that she could more easily drown out their bickering. She would give anything for just a single moment of peace today. Between her father and brother waking her up with their argument to Lily and Marlene's stupid battle over who Mary should date, all Florence wanted was ten minutes where she didn't get roped into playing referee.

But as she looked up ahead on the path, her eyes landing on James Potter and his crew, it seemed like peace was not in the cards for her today.

The group of boys were laughing amongst each other as they subtly enchanted trees to tap students on the shoulder or grab an unsuspecting second year. It was, objectively speaking, rather funny to witness the reactions of their various victims. One boy let out a startled shriek so loud, Florence would have expected it to come from a banshee. Another girl was attempting to fight off a branch that kept pulling at her plait. The problem with Potter and them's joke was not so much the unrest it caused amongst the students ahead of Florence.

The problem was Lily.

"You have got to be kidding me," Lily sighed, cutting Marlene off mid sentence. "What's even the point in making Remus a prefect if he's going to let his friends get away with everything?"

Before any of the girls had a chance to talk Lily down, the prefect marched up the hill with impressive speed, her hair billowing behind her.

"I am not missing this," Marlene said eagerly, grabbing Mary by the hand and tugging her up the hill with her. Dorcas and Florence shared a look and a sigh, before following them after Lily.

"Potter!" Lily shouted, and the group of boys came to an abrupt stop, nearly causing the group of Ravenclaws behind them to collide with their backs.

"Ah the dulcet tones of Lily Evans," James Potter said as he turned around to face the fuming redhead, a smirk set firmly in place.

Lily pulled up right in front of him, chest heaving from her quick trip up the hill. "You are to stop using magic at once or else I'll be forced to give you detention."

"I'm not sure what you mean," Potter said, tilting his head and allowing confusion to overtake his features. Lily's scowl deepened, clearly not buying the act. "I think you and I are both aware that it's against the rules to use magic before term starts, and we're not even at the castle yet."

Behind him, Pettigrew and Black snickered. The sound seemed to bolster James Potter's already rampant egotism as the smirk returned once more to his face.

"Unless of course, you're saying that I've enchanted you. Do you find me bewitching, Evans?" Potter asked, wiggling his eyebrows at her.

"I think I've made it quite clear what I think of you, James Potter," Lily snapped, her hands balling into fists at her sides. "10 points from Gryffindor."

"Ah, Evans," Potter tsked, as if regretting the fact that he would have to share bad news with her. "Prefects can't take points until the start of term. Learned that fourth year," he added on, dropping the sympathetic act.

Marlene nudged Florence with her elbow and held out her hand expectantly. Florence's eyes moved from the open palm to her friend's gaze, raising an eyebrow.

"I believe you owe me a hundred galleons," Marlene informed her, a smile tugging at her lips even as she fought to remain serious. "As James Potter has just confirmed that he has, in fact, learned something in his past five years here."

"That doesn't count," Florence said dryly, slapping Marlene's palm down even as Marlene grinned at her winningly. The stare off between a seething Lily and smug James was looking very much like it was about to end in a murder. Remus Lupin must have also caught onto this because he shook his head and finally stepped forward.

"Come on, let's at least make it to the castle this year before you and Lily have a row," he appealed, making a half-decent attempt at Prefect-like behavior.

Potter turned to his friend with a magnanimous smile. "Since you asked so kindly, Moony," Potter paused, shooting Lily a look. "I'll make sure there is no more confusion about whether or not we might have been doing magic. Watch carefully, Evans. I'm putting my wand in my back pocket. Feel free to track its progress up the hill," he added with a wink.

Lily let out a disgusted noise as Marlene snorted, and Potter turned to continue back up the hill with his friends, Sirius Black playfully pushing him as he rejoined the group.

"What a wanker," Lily murmured, watching the boys go.

"Maybe, but he's looking well fit," Marlene noted, taking Potter up on his offer to make sure his wand stayed in his back pocket. "You could do a lot worse than James Potter."

Lily whirled on Marlene, emitting a scandalized,  " Marlene! "

The dark haired girl laughed and shook her head. "Oh come off it, Lils, he's smart, funny, attractive, all of which is important to you, and," she looked around before leaning forward conspiratorially. "I've heard his wandwork isn't the only magical thing he can do with his hands." Marlene wiggled her fingers at Lily, who pulled back looking so pale that for a moment, Florence thought she might actually be sick.

Which was far too hilarious not to laugh at. So she did, earning a dark look from Lily and a shiteating grin from Marlene.

Lily rounded back on Marlene before shaking her head and starting back up to the castle.  "He's not funny; he's cruel. And he's only half as smart as he thinks he is."

"So you agree he's attractive?" Marlene asked, raising an eyebrow, and Lily's face turned bright red before she managed to sputter out a:

"Looks don't mean anything!"

"She's right," Dorcas added. Contributing to the conversation for the first time with the decisiveness that the girls had come to expect from her.  "Looks don't mean anything. But being good with his hands, well…"

Lily emitted a strangled sound somewhere between disbelief and mild outrage as the rest of her friends laughed at her and moved past on their way to the castle. A small feeling in Florence's chest loosened as she walked with them, the conversation alternating between teasing Lily and debating between Roger and Sebastian. Maybe this year wouldn't be quite as bad as the past five.

Naturally, the hope of a better year was squashed the very next day.

This, of course, should have been expected. After all, the first day of classes was primarily meant for overloading students with work they weren't yet prepared for and reminding them that their very futures depended on the mastery of the material. However, those spiels were not the giveaway that this year would be more or less the same in terms of teenage bullshit as the years prior. What it really came down to was her Defense Against the Dark Arts class.

The death of her hope began the moment she walked into the classroom and was faced with an obscenely tall and lanky man, dressed in a smart tweed suit with his chin length hair tucked behind his ears. A name was written in halting cursive on the chalkboard behind him.

Oleander Fernsby.

It was a ridiculous name for what was, by all indicators, a ridiculous man.

Although, as Florence watched the way his eyes darted around the classroom, shooting away every time a student got too close to making eye contact, she began to think that perhaps ridiculous was the wrong word. It suggested a certain confidence that this man in front of her was severely lacking.

It was painful to watch really, seeing him hoist the corners of his mouth up just to seem to lose his grip and have the smile come crashing down again. Both of his hands were shoved into his pants pockets, the right one fiddling with something it found in there so that the pocket almost seemed to flutter with his nervous energy. Even as she sat down next to Marlene, Florence couldn't take her eyes off of this clear disaster waiting to happen.

"This is going to be interesting," Marlene noted with raised eyebrows as she tapped her quill tip on the desk. "Reckon he'll make it the whole year?"

"Reckon he'll make it to the end of the month?" Florence returned, and Marlene snorted.

The last of the students shuffled into the room, claiming desks next to their friends and casting skeptical looks up at the unusual choice for professor. Even Remus Lupin looked unsure about Dumbledore's choice as he sat with eyebrows raised and a slight frown on his face.

The professor cleared his throat, which was completely ineffective when it came to quelling the murmurings of students sizing him up.

"Excuse me," he said, his voice dipping down into a mumble on the last syllable. As could be expected, the class' attention remained on their own conversations.

" Merlin's beard," Dorcas muttered under her breath from behind Florence. The professor furrowed his brow, a look of resolve on his face before trying again.

"Good morning." He had added a bit of volume and force assertiveness to his voice, but it wasn't until Potter hit Black on the shoulder and gestured with his head to the professor that the talking in the room tapered off. Faced with a room of quiet students, he succeeded in finally managing a weak smile.

"Good morning," he repeated, his voice soft but steady at least. "I'm Professor Fernsby, and I'll be teaching you Defense Against the Dark Arts this year."

It was hard to imagine this particular wizard ever standing up against the dark arts. He looked like he could hardly manage a boggart let alone a hag or Lethifold. Even faced with a room full of bored teenagers, he was crumbling under the pressure. Across the room Peter Pettigrew snickered, and Fernsby's expression faltered.

"I know that I am a new face here, and you've had five other professors, but I hope that together we'll have a good year this year and learn a lot."

Florence snorted and either Lily or Dorcas (probably Lily) jabbed a finger into her back in scolding.

Fernsby's smile flickered, and he paused. "Erm, yes. I know that this is your second class of the day, and it's early. The first years were all practically asleep at their desks this morning, but this is an NEWT-level class, so we will be covering rather complicated and dark material--oh! Yes, you there," Fernsby said, gesturing towards a student in the back. Florence turned, watching as Cassius Avery lowered his hand, a self-satisfied smirk already twisting at his lips.

"Can you explain what you mean by 'dark,' professor?"

The classroom went so still even Fernsby seemed to notice, his pocket fluttering once more.

"Well, we'll learn about the Unforgivable Curses. How to battle Inferi--"

"Will we be learning more about the Dark Arts themselves?" Avery interrupted, tilting back his chair so that it leaned against Thaddeus Nott's desk.

Fernsby's eyes flicked around the classroom as if looking for help from one of the students, but everyone remained still and quiet, watching to see what would happen. Florence set her jaw as she looked back at Avery who was looking rather smug. Beside him there was a glint in Thomas Mulciber's eye as if he were watching an animal fall into a trap.  "I'm not sure that would be entirely appropriate--" Fernsby started.

"I was just thinking that we should know how the Dark Arts work and such so we can properly defend ourselves?" Avery clarified and beside him Mulciber smirked. Florence's hand curled into a fist on her desk. "I mean, you want us to be prepared, don't you, professor? We need to know--"

"Avery you smarmy little git, would you shut up?" Florence snapped, and the eyes of the class shot over to her. But she was just looking at Avery whose eyes flashed angrily. "Even he's not thick enough to teach you how to curse someone. Go ask your dad. Or is he too busy shagging his cousin--I'm sorry, your mum."

There was a beat of silence as the whole class seemed to collectively hold its breath before across the room, Sirius Black broke out into a loud barking laughter, muffling whatever Avery snarled at Florence.

"Pardon?" she asked, arching an eyebrow, and though he opened his mouth to say it again, it wasn't Avery's voice, but Fernsby's she heard next.

"That is--that is quite enough," the professor finally interjected, and Florence turned around, ready for her detention or points to be docked, but as Fernsby's eyes landed on her and she met them with a fierce unrepentance, he wet his lips and moved on.

"Merlin's beard," Marlene whispered to Florence. "Been holding onto that for a while, haven't you?"

"After what he and Mulciber did last year to Mary, he's lucky I haven't set him on fire," Florence mumbled. "Last thing we need is that lot learning about the Dark Arts so they can practice on muggleborns."

Marlene nodded her agreement, and the two focused back on Fernsby who was presently taking attendance.

Class continued and with it the growing feeling that someone was attempting to stare daggers into the back of her head. When she finally turned with a raised eyebrow, she found that not only was Avery glaring at her, but Mulciber and Nott had also joined in their friend's effort. She gave the three of them the most saccharine smile she could muster and lifted a middle finger towards them. When she turned back to Fernsby, he was in the middle of listing his credentials and previous places of employment..

He had just finished on how formative his time in the Azkaban processing unit was when James Potter began to loudly pack up his bag. "And erm..." Professor Fernsby stopped, watching as Potter corked his inkwell and dropped it into his bag. "Mr….Potter was it?"

Potter looked up, "Oh, I'm sorry, Professor," he said, his face genuinely apologetic. "I thought you were about done."

"Done?" Fernsby asked. While the word might have cracked like a whip from McGonagall or Kettleburn, instead it came out rather helpless as he looked appealingly to Potter for an explanation.

"It's just that usually professors keep class short the first. To get us acclimated to the school schedule again, you know."

Fernsby said nothing, looking out over the class to see nods of assent. Even Dorcas kept quiet.

"He's right," Marlene said from next to her, and Florence's attention whipped to her friend. "Although usually they make us stay at least half the block," she added with a reproachful look to James.

"Ah, well, I suppose here is as good a place to stop as any," Professor Fernsby said. "Come ready to learn, as I will be picking up the pace as the year progresses."

He seemed rather proud of himself, Florence thought as she along with her classmates scurried to pack up their books before anyone could possibly grow a guilty conscience. He probably thought the early dismissal was a sign of kindness and not what it really was: blood in the water.

Shouldering her bag, Florence headed out behind Lily and Dorcas into the hallway.

"We're not going to learn anything all year," Dorcas moaned, tossing her head back to stare miserably at the ceiling.

"It's going to be an easy O at least," Lily sighed. "And besides, next year it'll be someone new. Maybe they'll be able to catch us up."

Dorcas wilted a little, head coming back down to face forward with a pout tugging down her lips. "I suppose."

Marlene looked disbelievingly at the group. "Are we really not going to talk about Avery?"

"Do we have to?" Mary asked with a shudder. "He's so creepy. "

"That whole group is destined for Azkaban," Lily murmured, shaking her head.

"Not if Lory gets to them first," Marlene countered, smirking.

Florence shrugged, "I already told you I didn't think Fernsby had the backbone to tell him no."

"Right, but going after his dad like that?" Marlene pressed, raising her eyebrows at Florence as if to prompt an explanation.

"Everyone knows the Sacred Twenty-Eight's inbred," a voice drawled from behind the group. Lily rolled her eyes, letting out an annoyed sigh through her nose as Potter, Black, Remus, and Pettigrew interspersed themselves amongst the girls. "After all, you're looking at someone whose father shagged his cousin. Thankfully all of the negative effects of my parents' decision to procreate saved themselves for Regulus. Florence snorted at this, and Marlene barked out a laugh. Even Lily's lips quirked up into a reluctant half smile. "I have to say, Saise, that was a thing of sheer beauty in there. I think I might have even fallen in love with you a little," Black grinned.

Florence rolled her eyes and shook her head, even as the grin stayed on her lips. "I hope you're prepared for heartbreak then. Pettigrew, I'd start collecting chocolate frogs now, he's going to need them."

A quick confusion crossed Pettigrew's face as he darted a glance at Black, as if to ask if Florence was serious. But his friend was too busy throwing a hand over his heart and staggering back as if wounded.

"Should I get some chocolate frogs too, Evans? Or are you planning on sparing my heart this year?" Potter asked, grinning winsomely at Lily.

She gave him a tight lipped grin back, tilting her head towards him. "You should get as many as you can and stick them in your bag. That way, every time you have even the faintest impulse to ask me out, you can take one out and shove it in your mouth to save us both the trouble."

With that, Lily brushed her hair over her shoulder and moved forward to link arms with Florence, turning them both around to march down the hallway and away from their heartbroken boys.

"I think there was progress," James said, piling potatoes onto his plate once the boys had sat down for lunch. The past forty-five minutes that they should have spent in Defense Against the Dark Arts had been devoted instead to James' eternal pining over Lily Evans. "She didn't call me any names."

"Didn't need to, mate," Sirius said, snagging the serving spoon from James. "Her face and tone of voice largely did that for her."

"Yeah? What'd it say?" James asked, raising an eyebrow as he watched Sirius spoon potatoes next to his sausage.

Sirius straightened up in his seat, pointing the spoon at James. "It said, James Potter, you are a complete tosser," he said, mimicking Lily's high voice, much to the amusement of both Remus and Peter.

James looked down the table to where Lily tossed her head back laughing at something Mary Macdonald said. The lack of outright animosity had been progress, but she still didn't look at him with even a fraction of the warmth she gave to everyone else. Lily caught sight of him and the smile slid from her face, settling into a look of pure disdain before she turned back to her friends and said something that made Marlene McKinnon almost spit out her pumpkin juice.

"Well at least I can say I'm trying," James protested, turning back to face Sirius.

"Trying what? To get Lily Evans to hex your arse halfway 'cross the country?" Sirius asked. "Because that is about the only thing you're set to succeed at with her."

James scoffed before growing serious.  "I'm trying to win the bet."

Sirius raised his eyebrows at his best friend, and even Peter seemed to have checked back in to the conversation. Remus however let out a groan and set down the book he'd been reading so he didn't have to listen to James going on about Lily. "I thought you two had given that up."

"It was just on hiatus for a while," Sirius dismissed, picking up his fork to dig into his lunch. "Because unlike Prongs, I don't have to spend years just to get Saise to tolerate being in the same room as me."

"And yet," James said, picking up his own fork. "You still haven't won."

"Well, I've been a bit too busy with other matters to be worried much about the birds?"

"Like what?" Remus asked, picking his book back up.

"Largely, being the family disappointment," Sirius remarked with some finality as he bit into his sausage.

James just laughed at this. "Please, you have about as much interest in dating as Saise does. One of you is going to call it quotes before you can even go public--let alone last two weeks."

"All I'm saying is that at least Saise doesn't actively detest the very sight of me," Sirius shrugged, taking another bite of his food.

"I'm making progress."

"Of course you are, mate," Sirius nodded, navigating the words around the mouthful of food.

James shook his head at Sirius, "Padfoot, when it comes right down to it , I don't even think you could get Saise out of her knickers, let alone date you."

Sirius scoffed. "Everyone can get her out of her knickers. Everyone practically has gotten Saise out of her knickers."

Remus looked up from his book, a frown tugging at his features. "That's an ugly thing to say Sirius," he scolded, but Sirius looked completely unrepentant.

"It's not like it's a secret that practically our entire year has shagged Florence. Everyone knows what she's like," Peter shrugged.

"Exactly. Thank you, Wormtail," Sirius said. "But if you're so certain I can't do it, Prongs, then you'd have no problem making a little add on to our bet. Right?"

"No problem at all," James said, smugly.

"Great," Sirius said, leaning forward on his elbows. "Let's talk terms."