#i saw someone else and apparently im not the only one with this problem

[marklikely]

i must have seen the quiet place day 1 ad at least 20 times but i didn't realize until today that the star is lupita nyong'o

[theidiotwhowritesthings]

I am IN LOVE with your writing!  I’m a dedicated reader! 💓💓 thanks for taking the time to do it!

Hear me out. Reader pulls a 24 hour shift in the local clinic on a busy day and we get a protective worried din?

He would also be busy but he would definitely pull reader out and make her take a nap AT LEAST. 😂 anyway, I just thought that would be cute to think about.

I hope you have a wonderful day and keep up the good work! 

[a/n: anybody wanna guess how many times it took me to try and post this b/c tumblr wanted to keep glitching and destroying it?? FUCKING FOUR. lord, im gonna go scream in a pillow. anyways, thanks anon for the great idea! also pls consider this my apology for the cliffhanger that i am so sorry (but not really) for.]

'A FRESH START' DELETED SCENE

Din Djarin x Female!Reader

Warnings: reader overworks herself, mentions of injuries (burns specifically) but not in great detail

Word Count: 1,934

Summary: Everyone needs a break, and Din is hell bent on ensuring you don't skip yours.

#MID 17: TAKE A BREAK, DOC

[so not between chapters, but a scene within one of the time breaks in chapter 17.]

.

"be with someone who will take care of you. not materialistically but take care of your soul, your well being, your heart, and everything that's you." -unknown

.

Trying to get the emergency clinic established was not easy. You agreed to the job, and Karga had given you free reign. The High Magistrate was essentially allowing you to run the clinic as you saw fit. Which in part was fantastic because it gave you incredible freedom, but it was also your worst nightmare. All your training had taught you was how to handle the medical aspect of an office. The business and organization side was a whole other issue. Especially because the people of Nevarro were not understanding that this was for emergencies only. 

“My ankle hurts.”

“Alright, when did this start? When did you get hurt?”

“I twisted it while jogging three years ago.”

“You⏤ Wait, what?”

In order for this to work the way it needed to, you’d have to focus on actual emergencies only. Alone you would never be able to handle the patient load that would come with servicing an entire city. Plus, you really didn’t want to. The amount of time it would take to even attempt that was insane, and Din needed your help with Grogu.

So, the plan would be to establish that this clinic was emergencies only, emphasize it to everyone who walked in the door, but for today you’d manage all the small, routine problems.

Just for today.

By lunch time, you had already seen 47 patients. None of which were emergent. In fact, the biggest injury was a young man who had dropped a glass plate at home and accidentally cut his hand. He needed four stitches. 

“Aayla?”

“Four more in the waiting room, doctor!” Aayla called out without even having to be asked the question. She was a gift from the Maker today. Already, you had decided to try training her more in depth medically and hire someone else to work the front desk. “You also have a guest.

“What?” You breathed, barely able to catch her words.

Aayla didn’t need to repeat herself because that was the moment Din swept into the room with the same confident strut he naturally seemed to have. At the sight of him, you couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief as your lips curled up into a smile.

“What is going on?” Din asked as he drifted closer to you. There were still two patients sitting on cots waiting for you to finish with them, but Din commandeered your attention by settling his hand on your lower back and staring down at you. Even through the helmet you could feel his concerned gaze. “Why are you so busy? I thought you were hired for emergencies only.”

“I was, but apparently nobody told all of Nevarro that.”

Din stiffened. “Did Karga⏤”

“No. I don’t think he tricked me into this or that this was on purpose.” You said quickly. “And everyone who comes in, I’m telling them that from now on it’s emergencies only.”

“But today?”

“Today, I am seeing every Nevarro citizen.” You chuckled. “You want a check up, Mando?”

“Ner kar’ta,” Din shook his head, “Have you taken any breaks at all?” You shot him a sheepish smile. “Come. Let’s get lunch.”

“I can’t. I’ll just get further behind.” You mumbled. Din looked like he was ready to argue with you. In fact, his hands even drifted to his hips as his head tilted. You had seen him take on the same stance before lecturing Grogu. You wrapped your hands around his forearm and gave him the most reassuring smile you could muster. “It’s fine. I’m just sorry I’m bailing on you for lunch.” He sighed. “You poor thing, now you’ll have to spend more time with Mayfeld.”

Din huffed and you chuckled. Aayla called out that more people were filling the space, and for a second you thought the Mandalorian Marshal was considering sending everybody home just so you could have a moment for lunch. You squeezed his forearm. 

“Fine.” Din grumbled.

“Also, I know this won’t help my argument or convince you of anything, but,” You scrunched your nose with a small wince, “Do you think you can pick up Grogu today?”

Din seemed taken aback based on his voice alone, “How long do you plan on staying?”

You knew his question was one more focused on the concern of you staying here for too long versus him being upset that you couldn’t get Grogu. When you shot him another sheepish smile he just grumbled under his breath in Mando’a. Din caught you off guard by leaning forward to lightly rest his forehead against yours for a second. 

“This conversation isn’t over.” Din said simply and you just chuckled in response.

He squeezed your hand once before leaving and you were forced to return to the patients you had. Ten minutes passed at the most, you got two patients out with Aayla’s help, when Din’s heavy footfalls returned. You glanced over your shoulder to see he was holding a bag of food. He crossed the space to set the bag in your hands and you peered in to see it was your favorite sandwich from the local shop. Your eyes glanced back up at him with a grin. The warmth of being seen and known settling in your chest.

“Eat.” Din said firmly.

“Thank you.” You replied. “I’ll eat it as soon as⏤”

“No.” He interrupted. A tilt to his head and a challenge in his voice. “I’m not leaving until I watch you take a few bites. At the least.”

You rolled your eyes, in good nature, and handed him the bag so you could wash your hands in the sink off to the side. On your way back to Din, you asked Aayla to bandage one patient’s knee and get imaging of another patient’s hand. Din had already pulled out your sandwich to set on the desk you had brought into the corner. Before you could reach for it, Din pointed to the desk chair. With a chuckle you dropped down into the seat, the first time you were off your feet all morning, and only then did Din push the sandwich toward you. 

“Thanks.” You said after your first bite. More sincere than your last. Din was leaning against the desk beside you. Close enough that your arm could press against his thigh if you moved it over even an inch. “You didn’t have to do this.”

“Apparently, I did.” Din chuckled. “Otherwise, you wouldn’t have eaten at all.”

You couldn't argue. Instead, you just shook your head, “Not gonna lie, I always did have a bad habit of getting caught up in my work.”

“Why does that not surprise me?”

“Doctor, can you take a look at this?” Aayla called out.

You quickly took one last, large bite of your sandwich before standing. Din pushed off the desk to tower over you again. He nodded. “I’ll pick up Grogu, but if you’re not home by 5 I’m coming back to drag you home.”

“Is that a threat or a promise?” You teased.

Din leaned over to lightly tap his forehead against yours and you chuckled. He reached over to pick up your sandwich and held it up towards you. You raised an eyebrow at him, but he didn’t budge. Rolling your eyes, you leaned over and took another bite. Holding a hand over your mouth, tucking the food into your cheek, you spoke. “Happy?”

“Yes. Be careful. Message me if you need anything.”

You watched him leave with a bemused smile.

Never before had you been so acutely aware of the saying ‘when it rains, it pours’. Today had already been stressful and busy so it would make sense that at 4:25 in the afternoon an actual emergency rolled in. Nothing to test and stretch your skills like having to handle a trauma case after a full day of working. There had been an incident, on the other side of this world deep in the lava plains, where a group of smugglers got a bit too close to a river of lava with their weapons and nearly blew one another sky high. 

The least injured of the three had flown them in. She had some superficial burns all along her left side. Then the other two had third degree burns that required some serious fluid replacement. You didn’t stop working, barely paused to take a breath, until all three were stable and resting comfortably. Only then did you drop down into your desk’s chair and rest your head on your arms with a sigh. 

About twenty minutes later, a pair of hands settled on your shoulders, squeezing in comfort, and you would’ve been startled if you didn’t recognize the creak of Din’s leather with the comforting smell of his flight suit’s detergent and the polish used on his beskar. 

“What time is it?” You groaned.

“8:42.”

“You’re nearly four hours late.”

Din squeezed your shoulders once more before letting a hand settle on the back of your neck. You found the weight of it grounded you. “I got here at 4:50. Saw you were busy with something important. Left then came back.” His thumb caressed your skin, and you pushed your head up to glance at him. Din had the hand not on your neck resting on the desk. “You alright?”

“Just tired.” You mumbled and rubbed your face with one hand. “Grogu?”

“He’s with Peli. Missed you at dinner though.” Din replied. “He acts up when you’re not around.”

“No, no. He’s a perfect angel, always.”

Din snorted at that, and the sound made you chuckle. You glanced over at the cots that held the three smugglers who slept soundly. All their vitals still stable. Din’s hand slipped down to rub your upper back soothingly. “You coming home?”

“I can’t. Not until the emergency shuttle gets here to pick those three up.” You sighed. “They have to be at a facility with a higher level of care than just me.”

“‘Just you’ saved their lives.”

“You know what I mean.” You shrugged. “You should go though.” Din tilted his head. “There’s no telling how long it’ll take for the ship to get here. I already sent Aayla home. I’m just babysitting right now. You should pick up Grogu and head home. Get some sleep.”

Din shook his head as if it were the stupidest thing you had ever said. He gently wrapped his hand around your upper arm and pulled you up from your seat. You let him drag you along to the fourth cot in the room which was currently empty. “You sleep. I’ll babysit.” 

“Din…”

He lightly pushed down on your shoulders until you were seated on the cot. You stared up at him in question, but he just shook his head. “If something changes with their status I’ll wake you.” Din pushed you down a little further so you were laying down. The moment your body hit the relatively soft bed you felt yourself sink into it with exhaustion. Din went to walk, but you grabbed his hand and tugged him toward the cot as well.

“You can babysit while laying down, can’t you?”

“My armor isn’t gonna be much of a pillow.”

“Neither is this cot.”

Din chuckled and dropped down to lay beside you. You rested your head on his chest, the cool metal of the beskar biting into your warm cheek, and just sighed. It hadn’t occurred to you how tired you truly were until now. Din had an arm wrapped around you so he could grasp your shoulder with his hand and use his thumb to trace patterns there.

“Take a break, doc.” Din hummed. “I got you.”

taglist:

@aheadfullofsteverogers @yyiikes @kneelforloki @c-ms1ut @sgt-morgan @luthienaliceisilra @fawn-kitten @missbabyjay @coldlamaspersonspy @dilfsaremyfavourite @jamesbuckybarnes @yorkeylover @teawrites01 @emily-roberts @djarinxore @impala1967666 @shelbyteller @faithrenner @dindjarindude @dankfarrick29 @rh1nestonecowg1rl @garbo-lesbo @anythingforattention @tearfulsolace @onceinamando @catharinaroxastova @uwu-i-purple-you @modiddys-blog @stagerightlauren @mini-bees @xxinvisblexx @adoringanakin @sagegreensensei @spidey-3 @sydney-1209 @thepascalofus @hrtsforpascal @banana-lol @daybleedsintonightfall11 @lil-dragon-draws @guccistardust @ideajpeg @harriedandharassed @leithatnight @elfamosotoga @damnzelsoul @the-anchored-sailor-girl @morks-watermelon @katelynmarieyt @taylorann2013 @chonkercatto @dheet @liadamerondjarin @fallinallinmendes @missdicaprio @jennaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa @alphaash99 @djarinsmixtape @pcrushinnerd @closedaddition @thelovelyhann @harrys-sunflower-bakery @mayaaaaah @theway-thisis

[vee-beeee]

The Tent

Okay this is a change from dbh LOL

So im figuring out how to write for these characters, and its going to be harder because its 4 people so PLEASE forgive me.

Warnings: Tents, enclosed spaces with 4 boys

Chocobros x reader (can be taken as platonic)

Im sorry for any spelling errors or plot holess

SORRY IF THIS HAS BEEN DONE BEFORE

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You woke up

And then wished you didn't.

It smelt like sweaty socks and boys.

Someone had shoved your back into their front, and was snoring VERY loudly. Another person had his socks in your face, sprawled out over what looked to be Noctis himself. So the case of the smelly socks was solved, that had to be Prompto. You didn't see anyone else in your line of vision, but guessing at how strong and muscular the arm around you was...

Gladio had turned you into his own personal teddy bear.

You gently tried to roll out of his grip, but he grunted and held on to you with a stronger grasp. You sighed and searched for another way out, you need air and to be away from this tent.

You briefly wondered if tickling Prom would wake him up so he could help, but you didn't really want to touch his feet.

So you sat, starting at the tent walls and daring to breathe through your mouth.

You thought about falling asleep again but whenever you tried, Gladio's snoring woke you up just as you were on the cusp of the dream realm.

What a terrible way to start your morning.

Finally, FINALLY you heard someone stir. You turned your body as much as you could in Gladio's grip and saw Ignis's hair over a massive leg.

"Ignis!" you whisper-yelled, hoping to get his attention. He turned around, sleep very much apparent on his face, and looked the entirety of the tent until his eyes caught yours.

"Miss Y/N?" He mumbled, raising an eyebrow at your position, Gladio crowding your back and Proms feet in your face. You had also felt Noctis was really close to your knees, you could feel his hair whispering against your skin. It was ticklish and uncomfortable.

Ignis huffed out a laugh, and you proceeded to beg him to help you.

"Why of course, Dear Y/N. However, I believe Gladio is going to kill me in his sleep if I remove you from his hold. I can help with Prompto and Noct however."

You sighed, sad he wouldn't even TRY not to get killed by Gladio. You watched him as he harshly rolled Prompto off of Noctis, and you were briefly worried that he would awake.

He just snorted and continued sleeping.

Ignis next went to Noctis to gently move his head away from your leg. Of course, Noct slept like a corpse so he didn't even notice. You took your chance to thank him, and ask a favor

"Can you leave the tent flap open I need air please."

Ignis nodded, and exited the tent, leaving the flap open. You started to bask in fresh air and morning light, but then the world turned upside down.

Gladio was rolling over, treating your body like you were an actual teddy bear.

He was now slightly under you, both arms surrounding you with the literal strength of a Titan.

And you were suffocating in his chest.

In ANY other scenario you would have been like "nice" . But in this one you could not breathe. And that was a problem. So you started gently saying his name.

Gladio groaned, but stayed asleep. You tried wrestling your arms out from his iron grip, but no use.

So you did the only thing you could think of.

Loud enough for him to clearly hear you, you poked the bear

"Ooo this book of gladios looks so good, im going to read it while eating chips and wipe my fingers on the pages and fold the edges to mark where i am. Surely he wont mind"

Suddenly you were shoved as his eyes shot open and he released you, sitting up to look around huffing.

"NO THATS MY COLLECTORS EDITION!" you breathed and rolled over as he looked around and found his book by his belongings.

Then he turned to you, brows furrowed and irritation clear on his features for 1. being woken up and 2. having his most prized book threatened.

"What the hell was that for?"

You moved onto your back and stuck your tongue out at him

"You were suffocating me in your pecs, I had to get free some how"

His anger faded into an embarrassed smile, and then a smug smirk.

"A lot of girls would pay real money to get suffocated in these pecs."

You rolled your eyes as hard as you could and he let out a hardy laugh, which accidently woke Prompto.

He snorted as he awoke, leaning on his elbows before asking "uh whats slo funmny?" and then promptly fell flat on his face, going back to his dreamless sleep.

You and Gladio stayed quiet before looking at each other and chuckling quietly. Gladio winked at you and turned to leave the tent. You watched his huge shadow as it moved across the tent, and then it disappeared.

After a couple of minutes, you heard Gladio and Ignis in the camp talking, and saw an opportunity to get more sleep. So you found your original spot and comfy sleeping bag, and settled in.

(A couple hours later)

You woke up, blinking your eyes slowly, feeling that you had gotten a good rest. You looked around and saw the Prompto had seemingly left, and you didn't see anyone else so that must mean Noct left too.

You closed your eyes again, resting them for a moment before you felt something moving around your front. You jumped and accidently smacked your elbow against the something. And that something groaned.

You looked down to see a mess of black hair nuzzling into YOUR blanket.

"Noct?" You leaned on your elbows and he looked up at you sleepily before groaning out a response

"you have the good blankets."

and then he was gone. But luckily, you had help to wake him back up.

Ignis had heard your surprised yelp, and knew it was time for Noct to get up. He had been chatting with Gladio and Prompto about how to pay for more car renovations, but that conversation could be put on hold.

Ignis grabbed a pot and one of his spatulas, before leaning down into the tent flap.

And then he started hitting them repeatedly together.

He saw you cry out and put your hands over your ears, and Noct just sat up slowly and glared at him.

Ignis smirked and left the tent when he saw Noct leaving, and you followed shortly after.

You watched Iggy put his utensils away and you went straight for the middle of the circle of chairs you all had put together the night before. Noct had just slumped down his camping chair when you started talking.

"Why do you guys love piling on me so much when we sleep? Like I wake up and your all over me."

You stood stalk still and waited for a response. You heard groaning and looked over to see Noct open one eye and looking at you.

"Smell nice and warm"

and then he was asleep.

Ignis sighed and walked over to shake him awake and you turned to see Gladio and Prompto nodding their heads. Gladio was the first to say something.

"I think he's right. Your a little babe space heater." You flushed, and he and Prompto laughed seeing your face.

"Yeah and you uhh, kinda smell a lot like roses." was Proms response, and now you watched him go red. Gladio slapped him on the back and Ignis chuckled quietly, continuing to try and wake Noctis up.

So your consensus was to buy more blankets, and an air freshener.

Fair enough.

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THANKS FOR READING

I dont know if this is cringe or how I did, but I hope I did good on my first time writing these guys.

Hope you enjoyeddd

[3mcwriting]

Any Fan's Dream, Part 25

Any Fan's Dream Masterlist

Synopsis:

When you look around and see Avengers Tower in front of you and Peter Parker beside you, you wonder how the hell you managed to get into the MCU.Keep reading

Sorry this chapter is a day late, I was remaking the taglist and that took a lot longer than expected so I just passed out after lol

Taglist: @secretly-sirens, @zeeader, @imdoingathingmom, @x-theolivia, @ainsley-official, @ourgoddessathena, @vine-enthusiast, @hoohoohope, @myfturn, @mjaudrey, @igotthisasajokeyetimstillhere, @starr60, @lauraashley93, @coldmermaidhologram, @daenerysluvrr, @viperchick47, @im-better-than-your-newborn, @mynightandstars, @qvnthesia, @liallerr, @cypherverze, @afraidofshrimp, @alexsmonstercan, @huntress-artemiss, @im-better-than-your-newborn, @marvelwomen-arehot, @benzinaa, @maxinehufflepuffprincess

After your interaction with Steve, you managed to find your way back to the entryway you had come in through. It was just a large rectangular living room with an open style kitchen in one corner and large ground-to-ceiling windows spanning two of the walls. There was a large television in front of the plush couches and one person pacing in front of them. 

Your eyebrows raised. 

For some reason, you hadn't really expected to see him.

The clearly stressed man raised his head when he heard your footsteps, freezing the moment he saw you.

"What's up, Mr. Stank?" you asked. "Sorry for disappearing and everything..." You rubbed the back of your neck sheepishly, hoping he wasn't mad at you. Especially since you would've done it again without hesitation. You weren't really sorry for leaving but more so for betraying his trust.

He looked shell-shocked, completely speechless for once. Well, how was he supposed to react when someone who he thought of as one of his own was standing right in front of him mere days after being stabbed? He had heard the guilt in Steve's voice, felt panic rise in himself at the thought of how badly you'd been injured. The idea that you were only inches from death and that your only chance to live depended on the technology of aliens did nothing to ease his worry. He knew Thor cared about you, but what if the people there didn't want to help you? 

He didn't want to lose another person he cared about.

And wasn't that what every single one of them felt at the thought of you dying?

You weren't really sure what to do with his silence, but hugs had been working for everyone else, so you figured you might as well try it. Besides, in your experience, hugs almost always helped you, even if it was just a little. Obviously, they couldn't really fix your problems but they helped to ground you and remind you that you weren't alone in them.

"Can I give you a hug, Mr. Stank?" 

His expression changed, relief softening his features. "Yeah, of course, kid."

You moved forward, hugging him happily. As you'd said before, you truly were a hoe for hugs. There was something just so comforting about them to you. You knew some people didn't really like hugs though so you always made sure to ask before you did so. After all, if the point was to comfort a person, why would you do something that would make them uncomfortable?

Luckily, with Mr. Stank he seemed to be grateful for the hug. 

When the hug ended, he patted your shoulder. "I'm real glad you're alright, kid." His voice was a little choked up, but you didn't bother to point it out. 

"Thanks," you grinned. "I'm glad you are too, Mr. Stank."

He smiled at your attitude, glad to see you could still smile the same. "What do you say to working in the lab for a while?"

"Ooh! Yes!" You loved all the time you spent in his labs, there was so much cool stuff in there and even more cool stuff that you could build!

~~

A couple hours later (it was only around noon, but it felt later to you because apparently there was a time zone difference from Asgard and earth), Nat came into the lab while you and Tony were drinking juice packets. 

"C'mon, (y/n)," she said as she pulled you out of the room. "You need to have something other than juice."

"Sounds good," you nodded, your stomach agreeing immensely. "See ya later, Mr. Stank!" You waved to the man as you got pulled out of the room, missing the fond grin on his face. You walked beside Nat as she led you to the main living room you had been in earlier. 

As the two of you got closer to the room, a delicious smell began to waft through your nostrils--a delicious, familiar smell. You understood all those dogs you'd ever seen that would sniff the air greedily, behaving much too similarly at that moment. You couldn't help it, though! It smelled so. Damn. Good. And you hadn't eaten in hours and during those hours you had napped, comforted people, and began building a pear cannon for Peter! You were only human! You needed that delicious food that was giving off that heavenly smell.

As the two of you stepped into the living room, you glanced to the kitchen side of the room, your eyes set on the woman who was sitting at the counter of the island. She looked up from her phone when she heard the two of you enter, smiling at you in a way that made your breath catch a little. It wasn't your fault! Wanda's smile was too damn pretty for your weak heart!

"Hey, (y/n)," Wanda greeted. "Nat and I thought we could celebrate you being all healed, so I made your favorite foods and Nat bought your favorite snacks!"

You felt your jaw drop, but couldn't register much else. 

Wanda grinned at your expression, before setting out dishes laden with your favorite food on the low table in front of the TV while Natasha grabbed a bag from the corner of the counter and placed it beside the table.

"This is..." your brain was refusing to work, "I mean—you two didn't have to do all this. It must've taken a while." Your too-slow brain wasn't allowing you to properly process the situation. You couldn't really blame it, though. How—in any dimension—were you to believe that Natasha Romanoff and Wanda Maximoff would know your favorite foods? Or even more ridiculous, how were you to believe that they would take the time to make it for you when they were incredibly busy people themselves? Like, they were literally Avengers.

"We wanted to," Natasha smiled. "Although, I can't say I made much of the food. That was Wanda. I just got snacks." She held up the bag.

"Well, I think of you as a friend, and you were just healed from an almost fatal wound, so I thought it was well-deserved." Wanda's voice was sincere enough that you were almost distracted from what she'd said. 

"You think of me as a friend?" you asked incredulously.

"Of course," Wanda reassured. "Am I not a friend to you?"

"No! I mean—no as in you're not not a friend to me—like, you are a friend to me, ya know?" you tried to explain, losing respect in yourself with every word you said.

Natasha laughed. "Calm down there, babe. We got you."

You let loose a relieved laugh. "Anyway, thank you for everything." You looked to both of them, hoping they knew just how sincere you were being. "I don't think I ever could've imagined having such wonderful people being my friends."

Wanda hugged you, making your brain short-circuit yet again, and laughed. "I think I should be the one saying that." 

"You both deserve friends as wonderful as each other," Natasha said, joining in on the little hug. 

When the hug was over, Natasha grabbed the TV remote as you grabbed your food. She turned on the TV, a familiar movie ready as the screen turned on.

They had set up your favorite movie.

~~

You got to watch two of your favorite movies with Natasha and Wanda, munching on the food Wanda had made and the snacks Nat had brought. Overall, it was practically heaven. To be honest, you were a little disappointed when they got a call and were forced to leave. 

Both of them gave you a hug goodbye which reminded you that you were being stupid getting disappointed because you had still spent four hours with both of them. You were lucky that they had the time to do such considerate things for you. Once they were gone though, you were completely lost as to what you should do for the remainder of your time there. 

You couldn't call anyone because you had broken the phone Tony gave you a while ago so you were just stuck on the couch scrolling through channels--that is, until Scott and Sam arrived in the room and Scott began pulling things out from the cabinets. 

"Dude, how do you know where everything is? You've been here like...2 days." Sam said, confused at the confidence with which Scott was pulling everything he needed out.

"What can I say? I'm a quick study." Scott pulled out a metal bowl and baking sheet. "Besides, if I don't know where something is, that's what looking is for."

"What are you guys doing?" you asked.

"Oh, hey, (y/n)," Scott greeted cheerfully. "We're baking cookies for my daughter, wanna help?"

"Sure," you smiled at him, thoughts flashing to the scenes with Cassie in them.

Huh. Since Steve and Tony hadn't really ended up fighting, Scott never got arrested. 

He wouldn't have to be put under house arrest and his relationship with Hope wouldn't end up horrible. 

Your smile got a little wider.

"Awesome!" Scott said. "Her favorite are snickerdoodles."

~~

"I don't think we followed the directions right," you proclaimed, looking down at the sad little heaps of dough that Scott had just pulled out of the oven.

"My nephews can bake better than you, Scott." Sam laughed, hitting Scott on the back jokingly. "I don't see a future in baking for you, my man."

"They can't be that bad," Scott protested, reaching to grab one only for it to start oozing when he did so.

Cue screeching from the three of you--screeching that ended up bringing Steve and Bucky into the room tensed and ready to fight. 

"What's wrong?" Steve asked, searching the room.

You were too busy laughing on the floor at the look on Sam's face to answer so Scott had to. 

"I'm afraid our cookies are alive, Captain." Scott answered, the serious expression on his face only making you laugh harder. 

"Oh," Steve didn't seem to know how to handle the situation. 

Bucky peered at the lumps of goo on the baking sheet and winced. "Those look disgusting."

"I didn't know we had two Captains in the room." Sam said, not taking his comment too kindly. "Captain America and Captain Obvious."

"I mean, we could always remake them," you piped up, finally recovering from your laughing fit. "It's only like five."

"You're right, (y/n)!" Scott gave you an appreciative look. "Let's get cracking!"

"Are you gonna join us?" you asked Steve and Bucky. 

Sam looked to Bucky. "Yeah. You gonna join us instead of just judging us silently, ya weirdo?"

"I don't know how much help we'll be." Steve answered. "But I don't see how we could make it any worse."

"Damn!" you put a hand over your heart. "That was uncalled for, old man."

~~

Contrary to what Steve had said, it could get worse.

In fact, the five of you didn't even get any cookies into the oven before a towel lit on fire and flour ended up on Steve's face.

You were almost crying from laughter at the look on Steve's face, clutching your stomach while he looked confused. You were forced into shocked silence when Steve threw a handful of flour at you. 

You gaped at him, looking like you had taken a dive into cocaine with how much flour was covering you. 

"What was that for?" you demanded.

"Stop laughing at me."

"Oh, you petty-" you threw a handful at him, hitting Scott on accident when Steve moved. 

Scott turned to look at you.

"I didn't mean it! I swear!" 

~~

With the kitchen covered in enough flour to bake a life-size cake statue of Thor, you were lucky to be pulled out before cleanup time. You would've felt guilty if not for the fact that everyone in that room had hit you at least once with a handful of flour. Even Bucky!

Either way, you didn't regret anything about that day--it was the most fun you'd had in a while. 

But now you were going home.

[whalesforhands]

hi!! how are you doing? i saw that you're still feeling sick? so please take care and i hope you feel better soon :(

i have a question regarding the dyf au!! how would the dynamics in the relationship be if there was an argument between any of them? how would each of them act?? i think getting into that would be pretty interesting lol

again, hope you feel better soon and thank you!

p.s: i'm the crying anon, if you still remember me lol. i might as well sign as 💫 if that's okay with you and no one else is doing it??

ofc i rmbr u :)

arguments rarely happen between all 3 of you. mostly because dyf mc is someone who is pretty ‘go with the flow’, and satosugu would fold at any of your requests, since they find it hard to deny you.

on the off chance that they do happen though. it depends on who is angry. all in all, nobody here likes going to bed angry at each other.

suguru is angry? quite the sisyphean feat, given his godlike patience. you’d have to get injured, or into extremely serious situations in which he told you to stay away from. there’s a silent atmosphere as he gently bandages you up, you can practically feel the disappointment radiating off of him, tells you to take care of yourself better before locking himself up in a separate room to read the hours away to calm down. once he is (usually 2-3 hours) he goes to whichever one of you that made him mad, creaking the door open a crack to watch as you/satoru sulk and await his attention nearby, settling down next to you curled up on the floor/picking you up and bringing you into the reading room, adjusts your positions to be staring straight into your eyes (usually on his lap), awaiting for you to tell him the whole story. (you get lectured afterwards, regardless of whether you were right/wrong)

satoru is angry? surprisingly more patient than you think. again, this is hard to achieve. he makes his anger very apparent. cold shoulder, pouts, crosses his arms to prevent his hands from reaching out to touch either of you. only gets mad when he knows he’s in the right, yet you won’t listen. he told you not to take that mission, told you not to go to this region, that he will take it instead of you, told you not to expend so much cursed energy. why won’t either of you listen when he’s trying to genuinely help in a way he knows he can? he’s the strongest, please, please just let him do it. though, he won’t separate himself away to try and deal with his problems, he’ll wait for you to come to him. he expects a ‘im sorry’ hug, sweets of any kind, and even sweeter kisses that could potentially devolve into strenuous ‘makeup activities’. he doesn’t mind if it doesn’t. just hold his hand when you’re telling him you’re sorry. he likes it.

you’re angry? well, get ready to be confronted, whether you want to be or not. you will not be sleeping in another room, or away from them. no. sit down, tell them what’s wrong and they will fix it now.

see a pattern here? talk your problems out. like i said, nobody is going to bed angry in this household.

[mommyownsmee]

Hi there! I just stumbled across your answer and I have to thank you again. Im not sure if there’s enough thank yous in the world that I could say to you. Thank you so much for seeing me as person with a racing thoughts in my head that is trying to take responsibility and not just as a mess walking around and ruining everything.

If I’ll be honest I never had talk such as this with someone. I was always to have this talk with my girls because I was too scared of hurting them. So I always bottled it up but that never ends up good. And it always ended up with me having bigger mess in my head than I already did.

As I was sitting in my therapy we found out that the sex life will be more difficult than we thought. And relationships too because I build way too much walls around me. But I feel like it’s important to mention that I’m not heartless Monstrum or someone who doesn’t give flowers or who is scared to give love. I have a huge issues with receiving it.

Because, I have a first answer for my question.

I figured out that Im switch4switch and verse4verse. I need to do everything and I need to be everything. Fucked from behind and have my holes fucked that the dildo comes through my mouth (a joke) and I need to fuck my partner like a rabbit in heat. I need to be a mommy and fuck my partner and I need my partner fuck me senseless while I’m called a good girl as I sob. I need to be in a top and I need to be on the bottom. I need to receive what I give. I need to dom and I need to be dommed and I need to sub and I need a sub all in one.

And I need it outside of sexual life too. I need to follow them around like a lost bunny in my cute dress and then the next day I’ll take the lead.

The question of my physical attraction was actually never a question for me. I don’t care if you are femme, fem, masc, butch, or don’t have any style or do them all. At the end of the day I need switch and verse.

But I always met with girls who through the relationship found out that they’re pillow princess or only subs (which good for them) and since that I have a huge issue with receiving. I been reassured many times that it wasn’t because I’m ugly or bad but because I made them feel safe enough to come out of the shell. Which I’m happy for them but now my mind is unfortunately telling me something else.

And I thought that I can be with sub and pillow princess and just ignore my sub side and bottle it up but unfortunately I really can’t.

But the answer for my first question leads me only to more questions. Because will I even like sex? I had one crush and I still do on a girl I saw only four times and the last time I saw her in December 2023! I don’t get my pussy wet from others and I don’t feel my heart skip a beat when I look at other girls/ lesbians. I know I’m definitely on the asexual spectrum but that only leads to, again, I do have a huge problem with receiving but I do very much know I want to receive.

Im so happy and glad I could talk to you about this because I swear to god that you’re only one of those blog that doesn’t have sex only on their brain. And it’s just so nice and refreshing to read. Thank you so much for who you’re and for the way you talk with others.

A beautiful mix? Well… from me being switch and verse and presenting both feminine and masculine… you’re kinda right. (Not sure if beautiful). When I was a kid I was listening way too much to “Best of the both worlds” apparently 😭

Aaah this is way too long now. I’ll short it. I would get Reddit but idk how to use it and it looks scary. I started a new sport and that’s swimming and I’m very good at it. My mental health god worse (but that will be better, fr I know it). I’ll continue letting it unfold naturally cuz due to that I was able to get an answer.

Sending so much love back and thank you so much for everything and mostly for understanding and being able to hear all of my bullshit and see me through them.

Hey there sweetheart, 𝒙𝒙

Your message left me speechless. I can feel the weight of everything you’ve been carrying, and I’m truly honored that you—again—felt comfortable enough to share more of it with me.

First, let me tell you that you are so much more than just a “mess walking around ruining everything.” What I see in your words is someone who’s incredibly introspective, someone who’s actively working through complex feelings and experiences to try to make sense of it all. That kind of work takes strength, and I see that strength in you. You’re not just someone with “racing thoughts,” you’re someone who’s aware of your thoughts, who’s questioning and exploring them instead of letting them define you. That’s not something a “mess” does—that’s what someone strong and deeply human does.

It must be incredibly hard not to have had these kinds of conversations with your friends and partners, especially out of fear of hurting them. That’s a heavy burden to bear on your own. Bottling up feelings may feel like a way to protect others, but I know from what you’ve shared that it’s been more harmful to you in the long run. You’re carrying so much internally, and it’s understandable that it feels overwhelming. The fact that you’re now able to articulate what’s going on in your head—about sex, relationships, and even your struggles with receiving love—shows that you’ve been doing a lot of deep thinking. That’s not easy, but it’s such an important step toward understanding yourself better.

When you mentioned that therapy uncovered how difficult things like sex and relationships might be for you, especially with the walls you’ve built, I felt that. It’s not easy to break down those barriers when they’ve been your safety net for so long. But you really are not a “heartless monster.” In fact, the way you talk about wanting to love and be loved is the opposite of that. You’re not afraid of love; you’re just someone who needs it to be reciprocal, balanced, and meaningful. The issue isn’t that you’re incapable of love—it’s that you’ve struggled with receiving it in the ways that feel safe and right for you.

Your description of what you need, both sexually and emotionally, is so detailed and layered. The fact that you’ve figured out you’re switch4switch and verse4verse is such a powerful realization. I think a lot of people don’t fully grasp how important it is to feel both sides of the dynamic in relationships. You’re not just looking for someone to be one thing—you need them to meet you in all the spaces you occupy, whether that’s being dominant or submissive, top or bottom, taking charge or following along. And it’s okay to need all of those things. It’s okay to want to be the one who’s following someone like a “lost bunny” one day and then taking the lead the next. You don’t have to fit into just one box or role—your needs are dynamic, and that’s a beautiful thing.

I can see how frustrating it must have been to be with people who realized over time that they were only subs or pillow princesses, leaving your needs unmet. It’s great that they felt safe enough with you to figure that out, but I completely understand how that could leave you feeling like you were left hanging, without getting the fulfillment you need. It makes sense that this would build up a fear of receiving. You’ve been reassured that it’s not about you being “ugly or bad,” and while that’s comforting, it doesn’t make the hurt go away. When people leave you feeling like your needs aren’t important or that they can’t be met, it can definitely make you question yourself. But please know this: it’s not because you’re asking too much. What you’re asking for—a partner who can match your energy in all its forms, someone who can give and take in equal measure—is entirely valid.

The fact that this realization has led to even more questions is so understandable. I think it’s so natural to wonder, will I even like sex? when there’s so much complexity to it for you? The idea of not feeling that instant attraction or physical desire except for this one girl you’ve had a crush on makes sense too, especially if you’re on the asexual spectrum. You can know you want to receive and still have a complicated relationship with how to get there, especially when you’ve been met with so many barriers in the past. There’s nothing wrong with that—it just means you’re still learning about yourself and figuring out what really works for you. The fact that you’re questioning all of this shows how deeply you’re trying to understand who you are and what you need, and that’s something to be proud of.

I’m genuinely moved by your kind words about me not being one of those blogs with “sex on the brain.” I try really hard to meet people where they are, and it’s so important to me that you felt seen and understood. The way you described yourself as a “beautiful mix” of feminine and masculine, of switch and verse, is honestly such a wonderful way to describe the complexity of who you are. It reminds me that none of us fit neatly into one category, and it’s okay to embody both sides of yourself. Whether it’s being “beautiful” in the traditional sense or not, I think there’s something inherently beautiful about being able to balance and embrace those different aspects of yourself. And hey, I’d say listening to “Best of Both Worlds” as a kid probably helped you understand that balance early on!

Lastly, I’m really proud of you for starting swimming—it sounds like a great way to take care of yourself, especially while navigating everything else in your life. Mental health can be a rollercoaster, and I know you’ve mentioned it’s gotten worse lately, but I’m glad to hear you’re confident it will get better. I believe it will too. You’ve been through so much already, and the fact that you’re still here, still questioning, still growing—it’s proof that you’ve got the strength to come through this.

You’re not alone in any of this. I’m here, and I see you for who you really are: someone full of depth, love, and desire for connection, who’s just trying to find the right balance in all the complexity. You’re worthy of finding that balance, of being with someone who gets you, and of receiving love in all the ways that feel right to you.

Thank you for sharing this part of yourself with me, and know that I’m sending so much love and understanding your way.

Take care of yourself, and don’t ever stop being the beautifully complex person that you are. ♡

[marauderswolf22]

Dating problems

For @goodboylupin's challenge, Candy hearts. Hope you like it, i don’t like how it turned out but maybe it will inspire somenone? I was really excited about this challenge, this idea with hearts is very cute and im doing one more story, but it will be late (as always im late), and im sure that will be so much better.

+English isn’t my mother language, and only I read it, so it possible to be litlle bit uncorrect in grammar. If you see something, tell me!

Rating: T

Words: 823 (it's more a long headcanon i know)

Heart prompt: „Swipe right”

Enjoy!

Sirius really didn't know why he agreed to this. In the cozy privacy of the common room, with the fireplace crackling next to him, he'd rather be doing his homework. -”Or maybe Violet?”- Instead, he had to listen to James name people he knew. Valentine's Day was right around the corner and Sirius still didn't have a date. Even Peter had plans this year, and young Black couldn't ruin his reputation. -”I don't like that she talks so much about her friends, she talks about them all the time!” - Potter's head hit the elbow of their cramped couch with a soft bump. Several people were listening to their conversation, but Sirius was too busy counting his hair one by one. Really even homework would be more productive. They both seemed to be struggling to remember who else Sirius would date. However, it wasn't easy because if someone didn't have an opinion about him, they already had another date. -”I know! Morgan?" At that name, a strand of Sirius just counted fell back to the rest of his mane. It wasn't a bad idea compared to the previous ones. Morgan was a cheerful, pretty Gryffindor a year younger than theirs. Fuck. Which is two years younger than Sirius. -”Too young. She won't understand my brilliant black humor.”- Raven hair flew back up and James groaned, hinting at his boredom. His eyes wandered around the common room, trying to find someone suitable.

At the far end of the large room sat a wormtail playing chess with his date Kristy. Next to them, on the stairs, girls from their year were having fun, eagerly discussing something. His mind colored a little warmer at the sight of the red-haired Lily, but this time it wasn't about his affairs. He also saw their whole year (which unfortunately was not taken into account), most of them older, and not much younger. The older ones, though Sirius was widely regarded as one of the best dates in the castle, had long since been occupied by each other. Of course, they were most eager to show it to everyone around, making out on sofas and pouffes, as if they didn't have difficult topics to learn. The younger ones, due to the pickiness of Sirius, also dropped out. James and so modestly believed that there was not a student among them who would not agree to the proposal of a date with the legendary Black.The only chance were the few from other houses. So his attention returned to the hero of this whole problem. He didn't even seem interested in the topic that usually excited him. His vacant gaze and relaxed eyebrows were not the hallmarks of someone who was extremely thoughtful. -”Someone from another house? Darla from Ravenclaw or Iva?”- His friend's expression didn't change at all. James took a firm step. The pillow sailed between them, nearly knocking him over the carpeted floor. -”What was that supposed to be, I didn't do anything!”- Sirius, embarrassment etched in his gestures, settled back as before. -”And that's the problem! You seem like you don't care at all and I'm trying.”- Prongs took the aggressive gesture as a great insult. He sat with his arms crossed like an angry child and waited for an answer. Instead, the fireplace hummed, breaking the silence and easing the impatience. He let go and spoke in a calmer tone. -Tell me who you want to go with. Not exactly, I just want to know who to look around. This apparently spurred Sirius to action immediately. James saw out of the corner of his eye that a sleepwalker came down the stairs, limping over a pile of his books. He sat on the other side of the fireplace, his face lit by the flames. Sirius smiled, his eyes shining brightly which was a good sign. - Someone taller than me. -It wasn't a difficult task, James wanted to say. -Someone who’s kind, understands my humor, who is tolerant, supportive, wise in many ways, caring, but not boring, although many people may think they are. With each enumeration, the fire in his eyes kindled, as if he was passionate about what he was saying. As if he was watching a picture that perfectly describes how he felt. Though he seemed to be engrossed in his reading, Remus' eyes could be seen following his friend's words. But James preferred to pretend he hadn't seen it. - „I'm sorry, friend, but I don't think there are such people, at least in this school.”- He smiled, it was really cute how his brother's demeanor changed from this vision. He was also sure that he would use it again for jokes. -”I'm sure it is!”-Sirius said with an indignation ridiculous to himself. But he was really sure there was one, even closer than they thought. Potter thought again. He also felt like he knew this person. -”Sirius?” -”Yes?” -”You just described Moony.”

[just-before-dawn]

just a lil small statement from me :)

i know that the zine and the people involved has caused uproar within the fandom. i wanted to ignore it as best as i could, but because of me wanting to live my life in peace (as i already have enough on my plate), some people call it me being naive and idiotic.

im going to say this again (as i have done so many times already but people keep needing to be reminded), my zine is on a neutral standpoint. if people think of it in a certain "discourse" position, then please change your thinking. im so tired of having to overexplain and defend the entire purpose of this zine constantly, again and again. some people still don't understand.

ive been involved with this fandom since december 2022 when i made my first post. i decided to make this zine because there was nothing else out there and i thought it would be fun. i have experience in outsourcing and finding manufacturers, i also know the process and the ins and outs of being in a zine. that's why i decided to make one for this fandom. dont let this zine be the ONLY zine in this fandom, i myself plan to make more after this one (coughcoughtuggoffeleeszinecough) and if someone else wants to start one, please do!

i truly love this goddamn musical about singing and dancing cats. this zine is for the purpose of celebrating this musical through art and writing. this musical has had a horrible reputation amongst society, why not turn that around?

in my own words and actions, i chose the people in this zine based off of what they have submitted in their applications, both moderators and contributors. i dont have time to do a deep dive internet check to see what problems a person has caused in a fandom. i work two jobs, im currently also packing 300 kickstarter orders, and im running this zine at the same time. i honestly do not have time to look into the drama that happened in this fandom unless if someone brings it up to me personally and they give me proof. i have explained myself time and time again that i do not absolutely give a single fuck about what side a person stands on. i do not care what a person enjoys or likes on the internet, i have my own business to attend to and other people have theirs.

if im so busy, why am i running this? because i want to and it gives me joy knowing that something great is coming into fruition!

please note that ive gotten anon hate from both a "proshipper" and an "anti", if that doesn't already explain the true neutrality of me and my zine, i dont know what does. im sorry that the results of who was picked and chosen for this zine gave out the supposed wrong reputation. im sorry that i didnt work hard enough to spend time (that i dont have) to do an fbi check on everyone to find out that they've done a certain action in this fandom. i cant make anyone happy with how this zine goes, i can only do so much. i had no idea that fandom discourse was going to be the main problem with running the zine. i thought it would be something bigger like finance. but this discourse does not define the zine.

im so tired of reading things said behind my back, assuming things about me, without actually confronting me about it. my dms are always open for anyone to talk to me about things. my asks are always open too.

the zine and myself have zero people blocked because i dont have time for that. guest contributors were chosen because multiple people requested them, moderators were chosen by me without any bias because i liked what i saw in their applications, contributors were chosen by all of us mods (there are FIVE of us, nothing more) as a collective group. my process with choosing was specifically on work, i dont choose people by bias. im not that kind of person. i also have already talked to my mods about interacting with the apparent discourse surrounding this zine. they will not interact with any posts outside of the people involved. any actions they have made already are not condoned by me and i couldnt say something about it earlier because i was at work.

so please, if a person has a problem with me and my zine, confront ME about. do not bother anyone else.

again, if my zine happened to make someone assume that its "proship" or "anti", then please think twice. this zine is a celebration of this musical and fan content. i dont fucking have a stance. stop assuming shit about me behind my back, im so tired of having to explain this to people. the people involved might and i have no clue because yet again, i dont do fucking deep dives on people unless if someone actually mentions and brings it up to me. but just because i choose to enjoy my time in a fandom without any drama doesnt make me naive and stupid.

it is a person's decision whether or not they want to support this zine. but please do not spread hate. tell me about it and i will take action. thank you.

again, my dms and asks are open. i have zero people blocked on here and the zine's acc. i cannot say the same for anyone else involved. the zine's acc on tumblr and insta are only run by me, nobody else.

[wanderrlust0]

today was fun and we had more fun than we thought we would at this party since we werent even sure if we would go or not

edit: 11.16 / i just knew the two coworkers and my managers at the party and then just stuck with snow the whole time ofc. we got deadlifted by the girls girlfriends sister lol and she was in a whole leather/latex one piece like okayy girl youre strong. there was someone as ice king or technically simon and they were very friendly and fun. we took lemon drop shots and jello shots and i had some mixed drinks and i was sooo reddd lolol luckily it was dark but in the bathroom it was so noticeable. idk if it was but it couldve been the most ive had to drink ever or at least the most different types of alcohol ive had at once and my head started to hurt at the end but thankfully i didnt throw up!! we had a fun time tho. we got there at like 9:30ish and left around 12 or so? and sat in the car for a bit but snow got along just fine with everyone after a little while of being there and them and V talked a lot. Z asked us if we were together and were like lolol noo and he asked how we met and we mutually refused to answer & made up some nonsense so i told him to just guess even tho he would have no clue bc he doesnt know me like that and this is the most he’s heard me talk lmao. one guess was a one night hook up im like …nooo lol we never thought this would ever come up. anyways, i found out days after the party that my coworker who thru it thought me and snow were together bc she mentioned us to my boss and he knows the whole story so he told her that we werent (idk what else he told her tho since i wasnt there) but she apparently thought we gave those vibes and just looked like it and when he told me that i was like omg .. like even ice king/simon person asked us and we just mettt. i mean they were pretty gay and first asked us if we were queer bc he could tell and that was the first time someone told me that to my face so i kind of felt good?about that. like yess i wanna look queer and just not straight lolll. so i followed my coworker on ig and i see pics of her gf and i know her!! her and my bf were friends once and like were closeclose where they did stuff (this was like 5 or 6yrs ago, before i met him) and she ended up realizing she was gay or something after him and they stopped talking (mainly bc she apparently would trauma dump on him a lot). i only know about her bc years later she hit him up out of nowhere and apologized for always talking to him about her problems and that she realized she was gay and then asked if theyd wanna get lunch or something so he told me. when i saw pics of her i recognized her from tinder when i had it. they never ended up hanging out bc he thought itd be weird now that hes with me and i would feel a bit weird about it. anyways, so i literally saw her and spoke to her at the party but i didnt notice that was her bc the room was dark and it was brief. looking back now thats crazy it was her and that we both know the same person that im now dating but she doesnt know that lol and neither does he bc i justtt came to this realization. the ice king person is now her like bestie who she met on tinder. its crazy when peoples connections come to light like someone you know knows someone else you know and they have their whole history and i have mine and then you can be in the same room as them and like only one person knows the other and etc lol idk its mind boggling

[shark-fiend]

I know I sound needy but can someone please buy an adopt or commission me or something , I really need the binder and I unfortunately cannot get the money any other way

[teddy-yandere]

Hi, I'd really like you to do yandere Sanemi, Giyuu, Muichiro, Rengoku and Tanjiro, how they would react that their darling had gone on a mission a few more days later they find her in Shinobu's mansion sleeping with a bamboo in her mouth and end up discovering that she had become a demon but equal to Nezuko (sleeps to recover energy), but there are some hunters who do not like her dear and even tried to kill her, and she never hurt or killed or even devoured . How would their reaction be?

- Turned Into A Demon -

⚠️WARNING⚠️ will contain dark themes

Characters = Sanemi , Giyuu , Muichiro , Rengoku , Tanjiro

A / N = I wrote a couple of different scenarios surrounding around this request!! Sorry for any grammar mistakes, I did not proofread this. Please read my bio before requesting, and make sure that my requests are open or else your request will be deleted. Enjoy <3

«★»———- KNY Demon Slayers Masterlist

.:｡✧*ﾟ ﾟ･ ✧.｡. * * .:｡✧*ﾟ ﾟ･ ✧.｡. * . *.:｡✧ *ﾟ ﾟ･ ✧.｡. *.

Sanemi

★ Sanemi would never say it , but he was panicking. You we’re supposed to return home after a mission , but it had been days since you were suppose to complete it. Typically , you would finish your missions very fast , and return home to Sanemi. That is why he was panicking a lot when you still had not returned. He had gone to every single hashira’s estates to ask if you were there , but to his disappointment you were no where to be found. He was about to give up , and search for you by himself , when he suddenly remembered that he had not checked Shinobu’s mansion.

★ As soon as he arrived to the estate , he could see a worried look on Aoi’s face. He then rushed around the house yelling for Shinobu. When she finally came out of a room , he could see small tears in her eyes. She then explained the entire situation to him. Honestly , he wasn’t that mad about you turning into a demon, he was more worried about how everything could be fixed. For the next couple of days , he sat near your bed holding your hand. He really hoped you would wake up soon. When you finally woke up , Sanemi was overjoyed. He knew that it would take a while for you to get used to your new situation, but at least you were alive . Little did he know that some people had sinister intentions.

★ Turns out that many other demon slayers wanted you dead. They never once stopped to consider that you were once a human. I think that is what pushed Sanemi to kidnap you. He couldn’t stand the thought of another demon slayer killing you. At least you are safe with him.

Giyuu

★ It had been a couple of months since you turned into a demon , and everything seemed to be going smoothly for the most part. Giyuu decided that he will become your unofficial bodyguard. That being said , Giyuu will follow you everywhere. On this one particular day , you had wondered away from Giyuu , because you were trying to find a nice place to take a nap. Typically, Giyuu wouldn’t mind , but the only problem was that a bunch of new demon slayers were taking a tour around the area. Giyuu never told you this ( because he forgot about it ) .

★ Anyways , you were walking around when you finally found a nice , isolated area , a large oak tree. You knew that Giyuu would be worried about you , but a small nap never hurts anyone … right ? You were moving around trying get comfortable in your “ little nest “. Apparently someone heard the noises that you were making , and started to walk in that direction trying to find the source of the noise.

★ Around this time , Giyuu had noticed that you had slipped away from him , and he had started to look for you in the same area that the other demon slayer was searching. Luckily, Giyuu knew all of your favorite napping places , and he was able to find you sleeping peacefully.

★ Sadly , while Giyuu was slowly picking you up ( to take you back to his estate because it is a lot safer ) the demon slayer ended up stumbling across the two of you. Poor demon slayer , they screamed when they saw you , and immediately pulled out their swords. They even started to threaten Giyuu . ( they didn’t know he was hashira). Giyuu simply walked up to them , and threw their sword a sword a couple meters away. While they were busy trying find their sword , Giyuu took this as a opportunity to get out of there.

★ Let’s just say that Giyuu went out looking for them later that day :))

Muichiro

★ You , and Muichiro had gone in a joint mission together. Muichiro specifically requested that you go in a mission with him , because only he can keep you safe. He thought that nothing bad could ever happen to you while you were with him. Boy was he wrong . Sadly , The two of you ended up getting separated while fighting off demons.

★ After Muichiro was done killing the demons , he went out looking for you . Muichiro wasn’t that worried about you , because he felt like if anything had gone wrong , he would have heard you scream for help. Once he arrived to the area that you were supposed to in , he felt like something was wrong.Muichiro didn’t know why he felt this way. Maybe it was just his anxiety getting the better of him ?

★ Muichiro tried to keep his emotions under control , until he saw a small trail of blood. He started to follow the blood. He was almost positive that it was yours. As he continued to follow the small trail of blood , he could see your still body in the distance. It didn’t take long for Muichiro to get to your body, and see your injuries. Muichiro could tell that you had been turned into a demon almost immediately. That wasn’t his main focus however , he was more worried about how he was going to get you out of the forest unharmed. With his blade , he cut a small piece of bamboo , and tied it to your mouth. ( almost like a muzzle ).

★ After that , he hoisted you in his back , and started heading towards Shinobu ‘s estate to get you checked out. Somewhere along the journey, you had managed to wake up. Muichiro was scared that you might try to attack him , but the only thing you did was nuzzle into his neck. Muichiro knew that you would never hurt him after you did that . After he was sure that you were calm , he sat down , and took the muzzle off of you. He then made you tell him everything that happened while the two of you were separated.

★ After he was done talking to you , he continued his way back to Shinobu’s estate to get you any needed help. 

★ Anytime that another person would make rude comments to you , or try to harm you in any way , Muichiro will be right behind you staring them down. I don’t think anyone will try to hurt you. If anyone even tried to hurt you , Muichiro will kill them. Harming you is equivalent to a suicide wish.

Rengoku

★ It had been a couple of months since you were unfortunately turned into a demon when you ran into Muzan. It was quite obvious that you never stood a chance against that demon , so everybody , including Rengoku, was very happy that you had made it out alive ( in a way ). The only problem was that you were now a demon . Rengoku had been obsessed with you before you became a demon , so you becoming a demon only made it worse for yourself.

★ Rengoku always saw you becoming a demon as a excuse to make you stay at his estate during the day. If you ever questioned him , then he will simply put your bamboo muzzle on your mouth , and tell you not to worry about it. Rengoku will probaly take you on his missions. Although , he will never let you get involved in the fight itself.

★ Don’t worry Darling !! Just let Rengoku take care of you , and everything will be okay. When you were first turned into a demon , Rengoku was devastated because he was afraid that you will never be the same again. Luckily , he got over that pretty fast when realized that you were still the same sweet , loving , and caring person. If anyone even has the guts to threaten you , then you best bet that they will have a funeral the next week.

★ Just because you are a demon now , doesn’t mean that Rengoku will stop being a possessive freak !

★ Sorry this is so short :((

Tanjiro

★ Tanjiro won’t panic when you turn into a demon. He will try his best to stay calm. He will make sure that you are safe at all times. He will probably kidnap you , and force you to stay locked up in his house with Nezuko. He just doesn’t want to risk you getting killed by another member of the demon slayer corps. He also for ids you to go outside during the daytime ( even if it is cloudy outside )

★ You will be treated similarly to Nezuko. Don’t worry , you are in good hands Darling !!

* .:｡✧*ﾟ ﾟ･ ✧.｡. * * .:｡✧*ﾟ ﾟ･ ✧.｡. * . *.:｡✧ *ﾟ ﾟ･ ✧.｡. *.

Thanks for reading , Darling !! <3

Have a nice Day / Night ~

[bonniebird]

Supergirl-friend

Donna Troy x Fem!Reader

Requested by anon​

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“You needed some help?” You said over your headpiece. You heard Barb sigh.

“As long as you’re not needed elsewhere, Kryptonian?” Barb answered.

“Well. There’s a satellite that I need to deal with. I can get that done on the way. Is there trouble in San Francisco?” You asked.

“Yes. Let me know when you’re done with the satellite. Apparently, the problem is a big one and we’re already spread thin.” Barba asked. The signal on the headpiece cut out and then less than a minute later you were back on the coms.

“Done. Where do I need to go?” You asked.

“There’s a carnival downtown. I can’t get any cameras on what’s happening to be careful. I’ll see if I know anyone that can help get a visual.” Barb said as you turned in the air. As you dropped down you spotted several familiar faces and looked around.

“Urm. Barb? I think I’m too late to the party. Looks like the Titans have it under control?” You said as you watched Dove go on a ride to retrieve a doll.

“Yes. I've just gotten through to the person blocking the visual. Sorry to waste your time.” Barb answered.

“I’ll see if I can be of any help before I head off. You don’t need me anywhere else while I’m here?” You asked and she scoffed. 

“I’ll let you know.” Barb said and she cut off the coms so that you wouldn’t hear into the control room.

Turning you gave an awkward wave, you only really knew the older members of the Titans outside of their secret identities, it didn’t surprise you that they were standoffish. Though the newer members were the ones that waved back. The group stared at you and then looked past you. “Dove!”

Turning as Donna ran forwards you saw a power line falling. Dove cleared the way and when it was clear that she wouldn’t make it you moved forward. You could feel some of the electricity burning through you but having, by chance, helped your sister deal with Livewire a few months before, Cisco Ramon and Winn Schott had upgraded your suit to try and lessen the damage from attacks. Though the suit was upgraded you could feel that you were weakened and dropped the power line. Stumbling backwards you found that Dove had made it to you first. Pulling your mask off you gasped. You rarely felt ill on earth but that shock might have done it.

“(Y/N)?” Donna and Grayson said in unison.

“You’re a Kryptonian!” One of the Titans said.

Donna hurried over and helped you to your feet. She was staring at you as if she didn't know you at all.

“It’s supposed to be a secret.” You said and Donna scoffed.

“Well, you’re terrible at keeping secrets so no wonder we found out. You know that there are news reporters showing up and they just caught your act of braver and your demasking.” Donna glanced over her shoulder at the news vans that were pulling up.

“So are you. I’ve known for years you were trained by the Amazons.” You admitted. She smiled but pulled a face of shock. “I also know about you know who and his bat friend.” You gestured to Grayson who still looked mildly shocked at your secret being revealed.

“I can’t believe that you kept this from me all this time!” She went on.

“Can we talk more about it when I’ve recovered from a major zapping? Plus I praised Barb. I'd keep an ear out for her and I think my Coms melted in my ear.” You complained. Dove hurried over to take a little of your weight and you found yourself hurried along and taken back to the titans' tower to recover. The next day your sister arrived and berated you for revealing your identity but assured you that all the footage of your face had somehow been scrambled by someone, Winn you assumed and that you weren’t allowed to do anything so reckless again.

Donna Troy tags;

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[salsotto]

doing it anyways, this woman is my mothers age (give or take, 40s-50s) and i'm one of the youngest in my department (was the youngest but i think im second now? someones 21) . and its probably been close to a month now and every time im in she avoids me. she's on sandwiches the entire damn day when im out there, leaving me to work for four straight hours with no break (supposed to take a 15 after 2, she got in at that point and pushed all the work on me, so i was left alone to man the entire front, so cook and odp and customers AND the rotisserie which i can barely keep up with mentally, i tried to tell her and she cut me off when i was trying to ask her if she could start cook bc i needed my 15) bc i cant exactly ask her (shes on sandwiches, not supposed to keep the stuff out for longer than 20 minutes) and i cant leave without coverage. but when i'm not there shes out there just fine! and when we went in to get cheese today bc its shopping day she saw me, looked away, avoided talking to me, and made our other coworker slice stuff when she was fully capable of doing it. she refused to interact with me. no other coworker has this problem, they all seem to like me!

and all of this started when she came out looking for gloves and i didn't tell her where they were bc - as someone whos neurodivergent i took what she was doing at face-value and was simply confused - i thought she was trying to replace a brand new box of gloves with a brand new box of gloves. she looks at the box. she tries to pull gloves out. fails and walks to go find new ones. confused, i pull out the gloves so she can get to them. i go over and ask what shes looking for. she tells me (while freaking out a little) that she needs the gloves. me, assuming shes trying to replace the ones out front, tells her that i got the box open for her and she can grab some now. i ask what she needs them for. this apparently was the worst possible thing to say bc she blows up saying that i "could've just told her where the gloves were!" and storms off to ask someone else. she now never asks me anything at all ever and actively avoids me, only talking to me to say i can take my break or tell me things i already know as if im not a 22 year old adult. could i have just told her? yes. but i didn't know that she needed them for out back. she could have answered me or asked me calmly. they were right next to her btw.

can i complain about one of my coworkers bc . dude .

[yearningandpatheticaboutit]

SPEAK FOR YOURSELF

CHAPTER 9: LOOK AT THIS PHOTOGRAPH

A/N: i made a moodboard for yaera and im really proud of it lmao

warnings: blood mention, drugs mention, suicide/self harm mention, gambling

wordcount: 8000 and some change

prev chapter

***

i remember climbing out my window that night. the moon was full, my stomach giddy thinking of seeing his pretty eyes. he said he wanted to meet me, i couldnt believe that what people said was true.

guys really were MEAN to the girls they liked.

being made fun of constantly? not my love language. never was. it reminded me too much of how my parents treated me, and i never found comfort in that at all.

my insecurities getting pointed out, getting mocked for the enjoyment of others. how could you like someone who did all those things to you?

i wondered that for a while. i was too hopeful, i guess.

that didnt stop me from doing my hair and finally making use of all the designer my mother brought home. i curled my fringe and the ends of my black hair, giving myself the look only a stupidly happy person could muster and snuck out of my house.

i didnt expect to see my twin sister doing the exact same thing.

our mouths collectively dropped open when we saw one another, completely baffled that neither of us had said anything. i wouldve told her where i was going, but she hadnt given me the time of day.

"i can explain," she nervously said, laughing. "okay nevermind, you first."

"no way!" i said, shaking my head. "you? sneaking out? fess up!"

yasmine was like the model twin to everyone. of course she wasnt perfect, she had flaws just like everyone else. she was a massive people pleaser, so i wondered just exactly who she was trying to impress with her new sneaky habits.

anyone that had my goodie two-shoes sister sneaking out of the house couldnt be good news, i thought. i was also impressed by how they managed to actually get her to go through with it.

"im just meeting...someone," she giggled dumbly. it was almost pitch black in our yard and yet i knew her cheeks were stained red.

"and you didnt tell me about him? who is it? someone from a rival school?"

my sister was dramatic enough to hide something like that. she had just broken up with her asshole boyfriend, collin, who no one liked, so i would have gladly encouraged this phase.

"its just someone. you dont know him."

i raised an eyebrow. "so when will i get to? whats his name?"

"im not saying anything, yae." she deadpanned.

"what?" i couldnt hide the disappointment from my voice. "but we tell each other everything."

she sighed. "relax, i will tell you just not right now. gosh quit being so codependent."

i frowned. "im not codependent i just care about your life. but whatever since you wanna be a massive bitch about it."

silence filled after a familiar insecurity rose to surface level. my sister knew how much i loved and needed her. she was my sister. some siblings were close, some werent. but my sister was my only friend. and all i really had. she knew that.

and sometimes she reminded me of how much i held her back.

she would sit with her massive friend group with attractive, sociable and fun people. she would always try to push me to talk to them or even make my own friends. i tried, i swear i did. it usually didnt go well. i never understood why.

maybe i was the problem. i could only really care about one person at a time. i didnt know what that was called. it took time for me to get close with people, the fear of being judged and abandoned an imminent one.

my brain always told me, my own sister would never abandon or judge me. we were blood. we were in this shit forever.

apparently i was the only one passionate about it.

"yae, cmon dont be like that," yasmine sighed. "i didnt mean that. i will tell you i promise."

i didnt answer her, only wiped the tears that gathered in my eyes for that moment. i crumbled up the letter he gave me as i rolled it into a fist in my pocket.

"its whatever, i guess ill see you in the morning," i muttered and started walking to the gate.

"wait!" she whisper-yelled. "where are you going?"

"ill tell you later. good luck with whoever youre meeting."

i called an uber to the address, trying to lighten up my mood on the way there. i put lipgloss on, trying to smile in my compact mirror. i wasnt really good with make up, but since i had a good feeling about this boy, i would need to start getting good.

this was the first time he'd invited me to his house. usually when yasmine went it wasnt a mutual invite. now i was going solo. he really changed his mind about me.

i kept impulsively eating mints, practicing my facial expressions and the uber driver probably thought i was crazy. when i got dropped infront of the wrought iron gates, he was standing there waiting for me.

in a white tshirt and grey sweatpants. he was so beautiful. he pulled his lips into that sly smirk i knew, as if he got everything he wanted. and being who he was, he did.

i mean, thats how i was here even though he bullied the fuck out of me whenever he could.

"hi," i said, giving a small wave. the wind blew my skirt a little, making me hold it down embarrassingly.

jongho continued giving me that satisfied smirk as he eyed me up and down. "you know its two am. i really didnt expect you to actually come."

i mean you asked me to. of course i would. im almost in love with you.

i shrugged like it was nothing. "you told me to come when i was comfortable. i thought this was appropriate."

"i see you dressed appropriately too. nice legs," he said, making my face heat up. "goddamn, model genes really runs in your family. well i dont wanna keep you in the cold. lets go inside."

he guided me into his home, his hand on my lower back. i swear i couldnt breathe. he never touched me like this infront of the others. infront of her.

his house was dark except for the light in the living room and up the staircase. the sound of my miu miu boots on the marble made me realize how empty everything sounded.

"are you alone at home?" i asked, kind of excited for the answer.

"yeah, my folks left for something in singapore. you know how it is," he casually said, showing me into a room. "make yourself comfy."

it was his room. i dont know what i imagined, but seeing it, it was so jongho.

trophies for singing competitions, soccer, and some even for academics lined the walls around his massive bed. he had a large mirror directly opposite his bed and a balcony that overlooked the infinity pool in his backyard. i strolled around in admiration, turning around when i heard two loud pats.

jongho sat on his bed and was gesturing for me to do the same. the led lights in his room were red and so dim, making him look far more hot than he already was.

i reluctantly planted myself next to him, my heart rate going higher than a kite. jongho licked his lips and took a heavy breath as he prepared to speak. god he was so attractive, i hated how much i liked him. i left my home at two am just because he asked. fuck.

"thanks for coming to talk," he muttered, his voice deeper and hitting the perfect spot in my ear drums. "i know it was kinda a lot to ask."

i rolled my hair behind my ear and shrugged. "its no big deal. what did you wanna talk about?"

jongho moved closer, now he was so close i could feel the radiation of his body heat. oh god.

"i know ive been hard on you for coming into our friend group and everything. im really sorry for all the mean things i said."

the apology struck me, hitting the thoughts from my brain. that wasnt what i expected.

"i called you clingy and made yasmine think you were a loser," jongho sighed, shaking his head. "she doesnt believe that of course, but im really sorry. i know i can be mean sometimes but its just how i give affection. youre cool with that, right?"

i nodded thoughtlessly. i was just happy to have him talk to me.

"yea, thats fine. i get it. im not that sensitive dont worry," i forced a smile, knowing his insults hurt more than anything. but at least he was sorry. right?

"cool, cool." he smiled down at me. "i hope we can be good friends then, yae. can you do me a favour then?"

"what kind of favour?"

my mind was running wild right then. all the insane teenage hormones were overflowing. the close proximity and how handsome he was, the fact that my short skirt had such easy access. choi jongho was a hard guy to resist. and i was failing.

i didnt hear his words, i was so focused on his lips and the cute mole in his neck, i acted without thinking.

i leaned forward and pressed my lips to his, softly grabbing the side of his face. i couldnt believe what i was doing. for a second his warm mouth welcomed mine, taking it in fully. then, i felt coldness on my lips as he pulled away.

"what are you doing?" he scoffed, his eyes narrowed spitefully. my stomach shrunk.

"uh–i–" i stammered, only to be cut off.

"are you fucking kidding me right now? are you deaf?" he raised his voice. "did you not just hear me ask is yasmine if interested in anyone? why the fuck would you kiss me."

"im sorry–i–" i couldnt believe what i just did. what was wrong with me. he wanted to know about yasmine. not me. what the fuck. this was so awkward.

wait. so i read everything...wrong?

"shit," he cursed under his breath. "this is bad."

"is that why you called me here?" i asked, fearing the answer. "to find out if yasmine is interested in anyone?"

"obviously. why else are you useful?" he meanly answered. i felt an embarrassed pang in my chest. "did you think i liked you?"

the mocking laugh that fell from his lips after made me flinch. because how stupid was i to think he actually saw me differently now.

to think that someone like him could actually like someone like me.

"youre so fucking naive, yaera," he kept driving the knife in, shaking his head with that taunting smile. "just cause you look like your sister doesnt mean you should have the same confidence. youre setting yourself up."

i remembered the first day i sat with yasmine's friend group, jongho pointed out that even though we were twins, i wasnt nearly as attractive as yasmine. i laughed it off awkwardly because i thought he was joking.

"you know desperation is unattractive as fuck, right? i cant believe you drove here at two in the morning because you thought i liked you."

i was shivering in my skin, trying not to completely burst into tears. my entire body was flushing hot with anger and spite, and the most embarrassing of all–heartbreak. because deep down i knew he would never get over my sister. it made me insane.

why did everyone fucking act like i wasnt worthy of being liked just like everyone else? but as soon as they saw the scars on my arms they wanted to tell me the same bullshit.

youre loved, yaera.

stop hurting yourself, yaera.

stop using this for attention, yaera.

i couldnt bear to stay a second longer. i wiped the wetness of my cheeks and got up from the bed, immediately going to leave. jongho got up and tugged at my wrist, pulling me back to him.

"you havent told me about your sister yet," jongho said, making my rage spike. because who the fuck did he think he was. "cmon, dont cry because of silly shit like that. its water under the bridge."

"i hate you," i seethed through my tears. "i dont know why yasmine is friends with someone like you in the first place."

"because shes like me," jongho taunted. "and thats what you refuse to see. you dont realize how much of a burden you are to her. you dont realize the only reason she hasnt ditched you yet is because youre related to her."

okay, so he was continuing then?

"you always act like youre so perfect," i spat. "you talk about how much of a burden i am? imagine how much of a burden you are to yasmine because you keep trying to date her. shes never gonna like you. you're just another guy friend in her collection, cunt."

i ripped my arm from his grip and stormed out of his room. he followed me till i reached the bottom of the staircase, where he just watched me spitefully from the railing. now he was angry? of course. pieces of shit like jongho were great at dishing it out and not taking it back.

i felt so petty. he could have rejected me normally but he thought he could say whatever he wanted to me. tearing the little self esteem i had down was fun for him.

i turned around and smiled. "you really wanna know what yasmine thinks of you? she doesnt. in fact, she snuck out of the house to meet someone. shes probably getting fucked as we speak. enjoy that mental image, fucker."

"get the fuck out of my house!"

***

YAERA

an hour has passed since san left me in his apartment. im worried and have a weird feeling in my stomach just imagining what he's doing right now.

despite the anger i feel toward him, i hope he's safe. that's all I hope for. he's hurt badly, looking more damaged than when he fought the last time. he definetely has open wounds. so i look around for any first aid. he's gonna need it for when he comes back.

i rummage through his cabinets. there's so much empty spaces but its filled with random stuff. this guy needs to go shopping. he has so much expired medicine. i find a thin roll of bandages and plasters in the very back of a cupboard but when i take them out, something falls on the ground.

its a folded up piece of paper. when i pick it up, i realize its actually a crumbled up picture. a picture of a family.

my stomach immediately sinks.

a young asian lady and her husband are holding their toddler son. it looks like theyre at a carnival. everyone is smiling, except for the kid. hes pouting.

he was so cute as a baby.

a weird feeling of melancholy hits me hard realizing the people in this picture are no longer around.

san lives alone. apparently hes been alone for a long time. i can tell by the way he operates. hes selfish, not even in a bad way. i get why he caters for himself and tries to keep away from others.

im not even angry anymore. it just makes me sad.

i put the picture back where i found it and go sit by the bed. san doesnt have any alcohol in his house, so i end up having to look up the nearest pharmacy.

i make a quick run for it, deciding to buy him some more medicine and fill up my asthma pump while im at it. i dont know why im doing this when he probably hates me. i guess im always gonna be a sucker for the men i like.

when i get back, his door is unlocked. i panic, but then i find him and his friend eyeing me like they want to kill me.

"where were you?!" san asks me, raising his voice. "dont walk around here. you know this isnt the suburbs."

i lift the pharmacy bag. "i was just getting you medicine. i threw out your expired packs. which were all of them, by the way."

he has a lost look on his face. i turn to his "cousin" and hold my hand out. "the name's yaera marino, san's fake girlfriend. good to officially meet you."

"im wooyoung. san's fake cousin," he says, taking my hand with reluctance.

"are you sleeping here tonight?" i ask him.

"yes he is," san answers. "we're sharing a mattress. you can still sleep on my bed."

i feel a pang of jealously. goddamn it that should be me.

i nod to san. "go take a shower. im gonna give you first aid."

san is confused, looking at me like he doesnt understand english. "you know how to do first aid?"

"i learned it when i was still doing karate. go shower." i chase him away with my hand.

san awkwardly goes off, leaving me alone with wooyoung. i quietly take in the boy, who now that i can see clearly, is obviously younger than san. i cant believe hes in the gang too.

"what took you so long?" i ask him, frowning. "i was worried."

"we had to get rid of the license plate," wooyoung answers, his tone curt and cold. "and you were worried? dont make me laugh."

his words are sharp and sound spiteful. im guessing he knows how san and i began this partnership. i hold my tongue and let him snap.

"you dont care about san. youre using him," he says, but still quiet enough so that san doesnt overhear. "i just want you to know, i can make you disappear at any time i want. all i need is the greenlight from san and you'll be scattered across a lake."

"you think that will protect him?" i ask with a wry smile. wooyoung's fist clenches on the side of him, his knuckles bloody and bruised.

"what makes you think i dont have a million copies of that video? that i dont have a plan in case one of you hurt me? im not some dumb bitch."

wooyoung shakes his head and laughs scornfully. what did he expect me to say? shiver me timbers? i literally know he shot someone tonight.

"and here san thinks you wouldnt hurt him. i dont care what kind of plan you have. if you hurt san, i'll fucking kill you myself," he threatens.

i wouldnt ever hurt him. not even in my dreams. unless he hurts me first, then fuck him.

"trust me, i wont be an issue," i say nonchalantly, sitting on the bed. i lean back and feel a pain in the spot where san kicked me. right above my boobs.

"i just need enough money by the end of the school year. then i'll go back to my country and disappear from your lives forever."

"do you know how much of a risk this is? what san is letting you do?" wooyoung scoffs. "thats if you even make it to the end of the year. if anyone finds out about this, youre both fucked."

"no ones gonna find out unless you tell them," i eye him sharply. i dont trust this guy but apparently san does, enough to tell him about our parternship.

"san has a hard life already. you should just get out of his life," wooyoung snaps. "if you knew why he was in the gang, you'd never ask him to do what youre doing now."

his words somehow make me feel guilty. but why? why should i feel guilty when san doesnt even tell me whats going on.

"woo."

wooyoung's demeanor changes when he hears san's voice. he immediately stiffens and acts completely clueless.

my breath gets stuck in my throat. san is standing there in nothing but a white tank top and a striped red pyjamma pants. his muscles and skinny waist are on perfect display. my mouth suddenly goes dry.

no. fuck. yaera, focus.

"what are you doing?" san asks like hes talking to a kid. i find it highly amusing but keep my face blank.

"i was just defending you," wooyoung says with a scowl.

"im not in any danger. like i told you."

"yeah but–"

"jung wooyoung."

wooyoung groans at san's warning and shoots me a hard glare telling me this conversation isnt close to over. he storms into san's extra room and shuts the door, probably thinking the worst of the situation.

i cant lie, despite his intimidating and handsome appearance, i cant take him seriously at all. i find it endearing that he cares so much about san that he even threatened me. so san isnt alone after all.

he looks at me and sighs, his face adorably awkward. the black strands of his hair are wavy against his forehead, making him look so soft despite the bruises and cuts on his face.

its embarrassing how quickly i forgot how badly i wanted to hurt him today.

"sorry about wooyoung," he says and comes to sits down on the bed. "hes just...possessive."

"you mean protective," i correct him and smile. "its good that you have someone looking out for you. you need it."

san goes quiet but is looking at me like he has a lot on his mind. right, he had to get someone killed tonight. how could i forget.

i take out the first aid materials and scoot closer to him. the warmth of his body is already wafting towards me, the scent of the soap so potent on his skin. its an intoxicating smell.

"can i see where you got hurt?" my voice is so hesitant it doesnt even sound like me.

san is slow with lifting his top. i refrain from visibly gulping at the sight of his beautiful lower body, my mouth going dry when i notice the large gashes against his ribs. they cut him with a knife.

"why would you put on a white shirt to bed?" i ask him with a scowl.

"the bleeding stopped in the shower," san shrugs embarrassedly. "plus this was all i could find."

i inspect the wound and it looks like he cleaned a whole lot of it in the shower. "it looks like i just have to put ointment on and wrap you. you need to go to the doctor if it gets infected, you know that right?"

"i dont think that will be necessary. ive never needed to before," san says coolly.

i cant believe hes just brushing this off. "how often do you get injured like this?" i ask him as i dip a finger into the antibiotic cream. i gently run it over his gashes and he winces. .

"now and then," he forces out, as if trying to hide that it hurts. "it wouldnt really matter the extent. i'd still have to go to school."

i roll my eyes. of course. the perfect student.

i rub in the ointment and it feels like my cheeks are on fire. ive never been this close to anyone. ive never done this for anyone. my hands are shaking as i reach for the sterile bandage.

"are we ever going to talk about what happened tonight?" i ask quietly. "because i dont want us to forget."

san is staring through my soul with his intimidating, and pretty brown eyes. i can see him withdrawing. hes already far away.

"i know i was reckless and im sorry. but please dont lie to me, san. i really fucking hate not knowing whats going on. i know you were probably trying to protect me, but you could have been honest."

i expect him to say sorry too. but only silence is returned.

"i wont lie to you again. ive seen the effects it has," he mutters.

"i dont want our partnership to be us just lying to and antagonizing each other. i know you dont trust me. but we're gonna have to trust each other for this shit to work."

"i do trust you," san says after a few moments pass. he tightens as i roll the bandage around his torso. "i just dont trust myself. and everyone else."

i stay quiet hoping for him to elaborate. i feel it coming. the hope is bubbling in my chest.

"i watched yunho die," his voice is flat, as if drained from emotion. "he got stabbed right infront of wooyoung and i. we should be used to it, we've seen tons of people come and go in the last four years."

i finish bandaging him and lower his shirt reluctantly. san watches my every move, and im surprised he lets me.

"im sorry you had to go through that so young," i tell him, genuinely. the look on his face is so distant that it feels like hes given up a long time ago.

"is this is how its gonna be? forever?" i ask. "is there any way out of this for you?"

i remember san implying that he wasnt doing this out of his freewill. which means his boss must have a lot of leverage over him.

"i dont know. im still trying to figure that out."

"what do they have on you?"

san chuckles darkly, his soft laugh full of scorn and hopelessness. "well, they know where i live, for starters. they know where i go to school. they know everything about me."

and his parents? where the fuck are your parents san?

he can see the question in my eyes. his smile is filled with gloom. "you can thank my dad for that. hes the reason all of this started. the reason ive been in this servitude for most of my childhood."

i frown. "servitude?"

"my dad...he was a shit guy," san sighs. "he was an alcoholic gangster with gambling tendencies. he made a bet with the 105ths he couldnt repay. so he took off. and when they couldnt make him pay it off, they took me instead."

"im paying off hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt, thanks to my shit father. and i dont have any money so i had to give all i could so they dont kill me. myself."

i cant believe it. san is basically in a slave contract. and theres nothing he can do about it. my chest feels tight.

"what about your mom?" i ask softly. 

san shrugs and lays down on the bed, looking straight at the ceiling as he crosses his arms behind his head.

"shes gone. she left when the gang stuff got too complicated. they sent a warning to our apartment telling my dad to pay his debt, in the form of a petrol bomb. it scared the shit out of her, so she took off."

"without you!?" i ask incredulously.

"while i was at school. i just got used to it. coming home to nothing."

what kind of parents...fuck. i cant even say anything. im just fucking sad. i feel a hundred times worse about blackmailing him now.

"the 105ths said they would let me go if i paid off everything. theyre still letting me go to school as long as i dont neglect the gang."

"what if you ran away?" i ask curiously. san stares at me blankly.

"they would find me and do to me what they did to yunho. or even worse. its not worth it really. im just hoping it ends soon. then ill disappear. for good."

and now im dampening his plans by making him share his money with me. god i hate myself.

"how much do you owe?"

"i dont know. i just know the deal ends when miss A calls it off. she deems how much is enough."

i scowl. "what? and what if it never gets called off? what if they trap you here?"

"im hoping it wont come to that. ive been loyal for a long time."

that doesnt mean shit when people only love using you. but i dont say that. it already means so much that san decided to say something. to be honest. i cant lie and act like im okay after hearing the truth. but i wont pity him. san deserves better than that.

"ill help you," i look down at him fiercely. "ill help you cancel out your dads debt."

san looks at me deeply. "thats not necessary."

i hold out a hand. "dont even say it. get a fixed amount from your boss and ill help you get it."

"why would you do that?"

my stomach turns at the question. i dont even know. i cant say its because of the mild lady boner i have for him. its more than that. choi san deserves more than what happened to him.

"its only fair, isnt it?" i say with a small smile. "i get to go back home and you get to go to...where was it? nottingham?"

he wants to study pharmacy. i wonder if he meant that.

sans cheeks are red. is he...blushing?

"why do you remember that?" he asks with a soft groan.

i chuckle to myself. "cause its weird as fuck. england? what the hell do you wanna do in england? seriously if you want to go to europe there are so many better places. why nottingham?"

san shrugs embarrassedly. "i like football."

"you? like football?" i scoff. "that's the reason you wanna live in england?"

"why do you sound so shocked? can't i like football?" he asks defensively.

"you don't even look like you've watched soccer a day in your life. i'd never guess that you'd like an english team."

san snorts and laughs to himself a little. my legs go jelly a little. i keep underestimating how adorable he can be.

"my mother is a huge soccer fan," he admits fondly. my smile is quick to fall away. "once we went to watch her favourite team play in nottingham. she was so excited about it, she got me interested in it."

i feel myself soften. "so you want to go for your mother? is she going to move with you?"

"no," he sighs. i must be shit at connecting the dots because i still dont get it.

"she's in Korea. i can't go back there. i had to give up my Korean citizenship this year because I'm not enlisting."

"so you'll never see her again?"

my question hangs in the air. san doesnt answer it, because even he doesnt know. he still has hope. i can tell. he just doesnt know if its still worth holding onto.

everything has gotten deep so fast.

"maybe we should go to bed. we still have school tomorrow," i say and lie down next to him. theres a small gap between us that i know neither of us will close. but it feels good to hope.

san tries to get up but groans as he holds his injured side. i push him down gently by the shoulder, his eyes slightly widening.

"youre too tired to get up anyway," i say softly. "just stay here. i promise i wont bite."

unless you want me to.

san looks at me awkwardly and nods, lying back down on his back. his eyes are aimed at the ceiling and i pull my knees inward as i lay on my side looking at him.

everything about him is so...i dont even have the words to explain it. i just have a feeling that everything will work out for us exactly the way we want it to.

"thank you," i say. san slowly turns his head and raises his eyebrows at me in confusion.

"for being honest. i know you didnt wanna mention all that. but thanks."

san doesnt say anything more. theres a  ghost of a smile on his face, but its enough for me to hold onto. choi san, maybe youre not actually that much of an asshole.

"goodnight, yaera."

***

san

i thought i imagined it. having her curled up in my arms. i felt it that night, her warm skin against mine and her soft breaths and hair on my chest. i told myself i was imagining it. because the morning after, she was gone.

yaera vanished like thin air. i feel embarrassed for everything that came out of my mouth last night. i cant believe i actually told her what happened to my family.

are you that desperate for friends? i ask the loser in the mirror as i get ready for school. the bruises in my face are so bad it looks like im going to have to wear a mask all day.

wooyoung comes out of the spare room as im almost finished with breakfast. he doesnt greet me with a good morning, instead he looks around expectantly.

"wheres the blackmailer?" he asks sarcastically. "is she also a magician?"

"her parents drop her at school so she left," i answer dryly. "morning to you too, asshole."

wooyoung gives me a bland stare. "you didnt come to bed last night."

"sorry? are we married?"

"what the fuck are you doing san?" wooyoung shouts at me. oh god are we really doing this at six in the morning.  "do you actually like this chick or what?"

"where did you get that idea?" i ask him calmly, knowing it will rile him up even more.

"maybe the fact that you slept in the same bed. youre letting her blackmail you for fucks sake–"

"wooyoung, we both passed out. with clothes on. and didnt i ask you to fucking trust me?" i glare at him. because why is he acting like my wife.

"i dont like this one bit." he shakes his head like a disapproving parent.

"you dont have to like it. all you have to do is let me do the work."

i feel my phone buzz in my pockets. i open it and see a missed call from yeosang. ugh this loser.

i open a message from him and its a birthday invitation. oh shit i almost forgot.

"woo, wanna come with me to a party?" i ask him. maybe he'll be less annoying if he can get the attention of some private school girl too.

"is it gonna be one of those fancy private school prick parties?" woo scowls, then smiles. "free food. im in."

"not to mention you could probably sell some stuff from there."

woo suddenly gets a burst if excitement. "that reminds me, i stole from that black dragon dickhead. we still have to split up the cash."

now that hes reminded me, i move to punch woo in the arm. "owwww!" he yells and shoves me. "what the fuck!"

"youre worried about me getting blackmailed when you possibly started a gang war," i snap at him. "when are you gonna tell miss A?"

"i dont plan to," woo says confidently. my face pales. no way.

"are you serious?" i ask worriedly. woo nods confidently. too confident who saw one of our own get mutilated last night.

"since im keeping your secret, you better keep mine."

thats entirely different, i want to say. i wanna argue with woo but the annoyingly playful nature on his face tells me hes not going to take me seriously at all.

"you know what they say," woo says with a grin. "out of sight, out of mind."

***

yaera

"youre in a good mood," my father notes as we get in the car that morning. and hes right. i cant take the smile off my face because i woke up on choi san's chest.

"i have a good feeling about this week," i say. my mom snorts, her eyes glued to her phone.

"and what brought on this feeling?"

its weird that my father is asking, because he genuinely never seems interested in anything i do. but since we're on the topic...

"miss evans got me a tutor. i invited him to come over after school today, is that okay?" i ask them. my mother immediately turns around with the signature sneer on her face.

"and who is miss evans to assign you a tutor? does she plan to pay for this?" she asks.

"uh? my AP bio teacher? you met her the beginning of the year?" i remind her. "and no, im paying out of my own pocket."

"good," she dryly says. "in that case its fine. the maids will all be home. as long as hes gone by dinner."

i quietly fistbump myself in the backseat, my stomach filled with butterflies. san, in my room, teaching me stuff i dont care about at all. what a dream come true.

best part is? he wont have to meet this family at all.

im skipping out of the car by the time they drop me off at school. i light up a cigarette as i stroll through the parking lot, feeling like a girl from some book who just landed a date with her crush. maybe life is worth living.

"marino!" a voice calls me. i pause in my tracks as i blow out my steam, turning around slowly to see...

...ah fuck.

"hey marino!" kang yeosang calls me with his signature douchebag smirk as he walks up to me. "long time no see."

i take an extra long drag from my cig because god it is needed for any conversation with yeosang.

"what do you want?" i ask him. he acts surprised and offended.

"wow, is that how you greet an old friend?" he shakes his head with a sigh. "kinda mean you know?"

i roll my eyes. "get to what it is you want, you know you and i have never been friends."

yeonsang clicks his tongue, his half smile not even shrunken by an inch. "always the pleasantries with you, marino. i just wanted to know if youve seen lazarus. since i hear you two come as a package nowadays. congrats by the way. you two totally look good together."

"lazarus?" i repeat dumbly. "who the fuck is that?"

"choi san," yeosang giggles like its the funniest thing ever.

"why do you call him lazarus?"

yeosang tilts his head at me like its obvious. "cause hes a scholarship student? hello?"

this fucking asshole. i toss my cigarette at him and he dodges fast enough to my dismay.

"dont call him that," i hiss. "plus why do you want to see him?"

"thats between us men, sweetheart," he says as a matter of fact. "just let him know when you see him, to give me a call. he doesnt answer my messages."

"maybe you should take the hint then."

yeosang looks at me with strange fascination, as if hes high in this very moment. its like he finds me amusing, hes just always giving me that stupid lopsided smile.

"i wonder how it happened, the two of you," he says with a glint of mischief. as if he cant wait to say something offensive. "its just funny how your type went from jongho...to him."

heat hits my face in embarassment. "jongho isnt the only guy ive had a crush on you know, you can stop bringing him up for every fucking thing. we never even dated," i say defensively.

this is why i hate talking to anyone my sister was friends with. all they could talk about was the past. not to mention most of the people she liked were fucking horrible.

"you never dated, but you were in love with him," yeosang childishly points out. "and even if he wont admit it, he probably felt something for you too."

i scoff. no he didnt. choi jongho doesnt love anyone but himself. id learnt that too late.

"i dont care," i grit out. "why are you even bringing this up?"

"yas would have wanted you to be with jongho. especially because he couldnt have her," yeosang just keeps boiling my blood. i cant believe this. i cant believe he just said that.

"i dunno how she would feel seeing you with...lazarus."

"shut the fuck up," i snap.

yeosang lifts his hands in defense. "im just saying because i care, yae. you cant just date someone you dont know. choi san might not be the sweet guy you think he is."

what is he even playing at? does he think san will sell him drugs if he goes around badmouthing him?

"and youre sweet?" i scoff. "you and jongho and whoever else was in that fucked up group? you think you can talk because you knew my sister? dont act like you ever cared about me."

"god youre so sensitive," yeosang laughs meanly. "i was just playing with you. and you wonder why you never got invited to our parties. youre just the strawman of fun arent you?"

"that doesnt make any fucking sense," i snap at him. "i can never get back the time i wasted having this conversation. mind your business and leave me alone, yeah, stronzo? and dont mention san to me ever again."

"dont forget to let him know i was looking for him!" yeosang calls after me as i storm off. i dont even need to turn around to know hes smiling, completely full of himself.

***

i only see san when lunch rolls around. all our common classes are later in the day and ive been obsessively waiting to see him all day. ive got a busy day ahead, my mind set on a very specific target.

i find him by the abandoned stairwell, and its like hes been waiting for me.

he shakes his head at me as i come, i narrow my eyes in confusion.

"am i missing something?" i ask him. "whats with the face?"

"why dont you check your phone?" san grumbles at me. his eyes trail behind me, where i turn to see jongho descending the stairs.

hes smiling like a prick. oh god. two assholes in one day.

"i guess the two of you dont learn," he says tauntingly. "this isnt a place for your dates."

"we havent done anything wrong," san says annoyedly. im glad he finds jongho as annoying as i do.

"maybe not you. but her," jongho turns to me with a smile. "i see your hair still isnt dyed back. you were given two warnings. one more and its suspension. i dont think your failing grades can afford two weeks out."

looking at him now, i dont know what i ever saw in him. im so embarrassed to say ive been rejected by this asshole like a hundred times.

i cant risk detention today. it would spoil mine and san's plans and would just be boring as hell. i guess im going to have to cave.

jongho smirks dreadfully. "why you so quiet, yae? didnt i tell you'd get you back?"

"look, im sorry okay," i say against my will. "i didnt mean to punch you. and ill have my hair dyed by tomorrow. good enough for you?"

san looks between us in confusion. i hope he doesnt ask any questions. if he thinks im crazy now he shouldnt ever hear of jongho-obsessed yaera.

"not good enough, sorry," jongho starts writing on that stupid peach notepad and i sigh. this time he only writes my name. meaning ill have detention without san. miss morri will love this.

"maybe next time you'll watch your mouth," jongho smiles at us before strollling away like the arrogant pig he is. i sigh heavily as san turns to me with narrowed eyes.

"why does he hate you so much?" san asks me annoyedly. "he just came here asking specifically. what did you do?"

"why are you assuming i did something?" i scowl. san gives me an obvious look.

"why else would he hate you that much?"

"because hes an asshole," i scoff. "i might be one too, but im nothing like him. my sister never reciprocated his love and he made it everyone elses problem. he also told me i should have died instead of her."

"what the fuck. he needs help."

"most people at this school do," i sigh. "speaking of help, i need yours."

san gives me his suspicious, pretty eyes. i smile excitedly. "im letting you into my side hustle. you remember how i told you i got my savings?"

"you said you stole most of it..."

"bingo."

san groans. "i hope you dont expect me to help you steal a car or something."

i roll my eyes. he must think im an adrenaline junkie or something. "dont be ridiculous. all i need is a look out before school ends. you think you can do that?"

san sighs hopelessly, surrendering. "what do you need?"

"get me into the boys lockeroom."

"...what are you doing there?"

"if i tell you it wont be special, would it?" i say and he scowls.

"dont do anything stupid. what about detention? are you going?"

i smirk. "obviously not. you still owe me a tutoring session."

san nods in a way that tells me he definetely forgot. how shameless.

"luckily for you, my parents allowed you to come over. and they wont be home till night and i'll make sure youre out of sight before then."

san nods. "just tell me what to bring."

the day goes by quickly until the last period finally rolls around. its geography, and as much as i love this subject, i end up skipping. san is having english and i couldnt convince him to skip, so i wait for him after school near the sportsfield.

the school soccer team are practicing, meaning all the lockerooms are unoccupied. its perfect.

i didnt usually target them, but the plan felt brilliant when i thought of it. usually i went for the girls, they were easy. expensive phone cases, airpods, clothes, and luxury perfume. all things that sold so easily online. people would do anything for a bargain.

can you imagine how much soccer gear would sell? i know damn well not every one of those players were using ALL of their gear.

plus, i need to get back at that asshole jongho. i didnt know his number so i'd just have to look around and guess whose locker smells the most potent and obnoxious.

san comes jogging around the bend, looking so prim and proper in his school blazer. i smirk in greeting. "you ready for some fun?" i ask him.

"i hope this doesnt take long, you know we have to catch the bus if we're going to your house," he reminds me.

i managed to convince my parents i was taking the bus with him home so they didnt have to pick us up. they called the school and made sure san wasnt a trouble maker and questioned his records. you know, a completely normal response.

"dont worry. i'll be in and out, lets go."

i take san's arm and we sneak into the separate building reserved for the boys lockerrooms. of course it smells like stale air, cologne and dampness.

i walk past the lockers and gaze at the numbers and locks. i check my watch. practice ends at 4:30 pm. its currently 4:00.

i nod to san and gesture with my eyes to the door. "guard while i get busy." i take various pins out of my pocket, having brought them specifically for this purpose.

"how are you gonna get those lockers open?" san asks me. i bend down infront of the first locker and start fiddling with my pins.

"lock-picking," i answer distractedly.

"you know how to pick locks?" san says in disbelief.

"you dont?"

"no. im not a weirdo."

"youre such a lousy gangster. arent you supposed to be street smart?"

"im not a gangster," san corrects me with an eye roll. hes feeling sassy today. "im a part time employee."

i cant take him seriously and end up chuckling. the locker clicks open and i find only a folded uniform on the inside. i rummage through the pockets and find a wallet. i open it and theres no cash, only cards. useless because as soon as its found to be missing they'll all be blocked.

i sigh and check deeper. i find a silver watch. its an omega brand. jackpot.

i slip it into my pocket and fold the uniform back. they should really secure these lockers better.

"are you getting somewhere?" san asks as he nervously looks out the door.

"of course," i say with ease and move onto the next locker. its slightly harder to open. i remember a specific scenario like this coming up in the youtube tutorial i watched. all i have to do is whatever that guy did.

it takes longer than i thought. when it pops open i can see san's distressed eyes glaring at me to hurry up.

and thats when i see it. the treasure guaranteed to win us a mini lottery.

"holy shit, look at this baby," i gasp and take out the camera, showing it to san.

"who leaves a camera in their gym locker?" san scowls. "that person deserves to get robbed."

"its expensive too!" i giggle in excitement. "its a Lumix GH5! you know the price of this? we're gonna be fucking rich!"

"who does it belong to?"

i shrug and look back inside the locker. there isnt much except the camera and a few pairs of gym socks and knee pads. "i guess we'll figure it out when we look at it."

i slam the locker shut and we're about to leave when san suddenly shoves me back. i stare at him in confusion as he runs out and i hear voices on the outside.

"what are you doing here?" someone asks him suspiciously. oh god. i recognize that voice. jongho.

"i...was looking for you," san says, and i can tell hes fighting for his life thinking of a good lie. "are there still spots left on the team?"

jongho scoffs. "youre kidding, right?"

theres an awkward silence. oh fuck i need to save him from himself.

"stick to the books, choi san. at least you dont embarrass yourself there."

"no im serious...i wanna join your team. is there anywhere to sign up?"

jongho groans. "im team captain, you have to go with me to the coach for this."

"lets go now then."

"i need to get something from my locker."

"uh...im in a hurry. can we just go now? i cant miss my bus home."

hes trying to get jongho away so i can sneak out. theyre right at the door. ive never held my breath so long.

"ugh! fine! couldnt you have asked earlier?" jongho snaps. "im guessing you need soccer for a sports scholarship too, huh? you wont get into any schools if you suck ass by the way."

i can just picture san's clenched jaw as he holds himself together around jongho. i hear their voices fade and steps grow further away. i stuff the camera and watch into my bag and sprint out and make my way around the school buildings. now i can jump the fence on the other side of the field.

i call san instantly when im alone, looking around for any security. he picks up on the first ring. "hey, im at the fence we jumped after detention. the bus stop is somewhere nearby here."

"okay okay mom, I'll be home right now," san says into the phone and im guessing hes making an excuse to get away from jongho now.

its funny how everything plays out. san gets to me within a few minutes and his face is red with stress. i hold my laugh in.

"next time YOU be the lookout," he says with a scowl and it makes me burst out into laughter.

"i thought you could lie better than that!" i nearly double over from chuckles. "you shouldve heard yourself. seriously youre a criminal and thats how you lie?"

"oh shut it. he wouldve seen you!"

san's angry face is really so adorable. he expects me to take him seriously like this?

"you should have hit him over the head instead," i sigh. "we couldve made him believe everything was a dream."

we jump the fence and end up catching the bus somewhere near my neighbourhood. the entire bus is empty, and san is on the verge of falling asleep, leaning his head against the window. im severely bored and decide to take the camera out to inspect the specs.

its such a good camera. i dont know a lot about cameras but i know by the brand its quality. i wonder which soccer guy has this hobby. maybe he wants to be a professional photographer.

i open the existing pictures and find random pictures of cars, birds, sunsets, and aesthetic places around the school. theres a folder named "her", so i click on it hoping to see something different.

...pictures of me.

thousands of them.

i feel my face pale, which is wrong on so many levels because im brown as fuck. the first few pictures are of me with a cigarette, smoking on and off campus. theyre from a year ago based on my hair colour. the other pictures are dated from two years ago and theyre filled with me in my school uniform.

the point of view is the part that leaves me cold in my bones. from above, places that cant easily be spotted. random corners capturing me sitting on my phone, bending over...looking around...

thats until i realize the lavender scrunchie in my hair. and the lack of bangs.

these arent just pictures of me. in fact, most of them are my sister.

next chapter

[jiminrings]

I REQUEST A SOFT BADBOY DRABBLE WITH SHY READER AND HES TEASING HER BUT SOMEONE ELSE JOIMS IN AND THEYRE DOING IT TO BE MEAN BUT HES LIKE STFU BEFORE I PUMCH UR FACE ONLY IM ALLOWED TO BULLY SHY READER GRR 😡😡😡😡 and soft readers like 0.o but *squeals incoherently* 😭😭😭😭

last name, jeon.

drabble week: day two

drabble week masterlist

pairing: badboy!jungkook x shy!reader

wordcount: 3k

glimpse: "can't you tell that i really don't want you to be here?"

notes: a tiny change on the plot!! also: frat boy!jimin from day four makes an appearance :D

feedback + support mean the world to me!!

“do you wanna form-“

... yes

you DO have an alliance with jungkook

it's a very fair trade honestly

he pretends to be your boyfriend!! there's no specific boundaries to it, but he springs into action as soon as you're put into an inconvenience

in exchange, you whore him out to your friends!!! :D

no but literally that's how he called it

the whole reason this came to be in the first place is because you hATE confrontation with a burning passion

especially when it comes to those "i have a crush on you" moments that people spring on you all of a sudden

you don't like them back!!! that's the truth!!! but the problem is that you aLWAYS feel guilty letting people down

you obviously don't have the obligation to like someone back just because you sit next to them in class :// IT'S JUST IN YOUR NATURE TO FEEL THAT WAY

you wouldn't get into a relationship with said confessor to ease your guilt, clearly

do you plan on denying their advances? yes

but hOW????

you always take the passive-aggressive approach

you get jungkook to carry your bag and hold your hand, walk in front of said person and pretend not to see them, jungkook makes sURE to put some snide eye contact in there aaaaand the whole ordeal is finished :D

you've managed to let someone down slowly without having to speak to them in-person!!!

jungkook comes more handy than that too

you take him when you want to eat out because you're too anxious to eat alone

you take him when you want to go somewhere in which lining up is essential and you're also too anxious to stand by yourself

you take him when you want to go shopping when there's a sale but you're almost always intimidated by the barrage of people and salespeople so he asks and answers the questions for you

jungkook, in hindsight, is the perfect fake boyfriend for you <3

ALSO jungkook wants something from you

"whore me out to the girls from the families your family's friends with, and it's a deal :D"

that alliance and exchange is going pretty well so far

you mAY be on the more-reserved side but that doesn't mean you're self-aware!!!

you know that your parents are loaded and your shy nature could be somehow chalked to that since you didn't really have anyone that wasn't as non-superficial as you'd like, since they were the overprotective helicopter two-rotor seven-blade parents :(((

jungkook, however, is the only constant you have in your formula

you've known him since childhood and have been friends ever since

his mom's your mom's personal assistant, and one day when mrs. jeon couldn't find a babysitter for jungkook, your mom didn't hesitate to let four-year old jungkook come with her to work

jungkook's your fIRST actual friend that hates gold spoons with you because of how tacky they look :-) he's your emotional support person basically

your emotional support person who was sO close to running late from picking you up during his free day >:( you were about to break into a sprint if he arrived a second later, because you managed to spot a jock coming to you from the corner of your eye awhile ago

You Do Not Like Him <3

"and i even changed into a short-sleeved shirt to ward off your suitors. how romantic of me, don't you think?"

now that he mentions it, it's only now when you can drink him in in full-display

... wow

his right arm's the only one with his tattoos while his left's completely blank, but something about the balance just makes you !!!!!!!! even more

his arm's not completely covered but it was coming to be, something about the blank spaces of skin that are yet to be inked being a nice touch

"very romantic, kook."

now tHAT'S the answer he wanted to hear

he forcibly on your helmet for you to showcase, your grunts of annoyance being drowned out by whistling

(he's even looking left and right and making eye contact with anyone who has their eyes landing on you!!!!)

your cheeks smushed is a look he'll never be tired being in awe of, but he'll never tell you that, of course

"do you ever wonder if your parents would kill me if i misplace even a single hair on you?" jungkook thinks out loud and you don't even flinch with how sudden his thoughts could be, sitting on his seat first so it'd already be balanced when you do, "you sure you’re okay riding with me?? on a motorcycle????"

he usually uses yOUR family's vehicles (they let him and insisted he just takes one at this point) but when you called him, he was en route to kim kradle (it's a one-stop vehicle shop apparently) to get new rims for his motorcycle, bUT NOT ANYMORE HE GUESSES????

you come first compared to the booking he's waited on for three weeks

"i have insurance, i think."

no that's the wrong answer

why did you even bother.,,.,

jungkook flicks your nose because your forehead's protected by the helmet, his face contorted in half faux frustration

"you were supposed to be mad at me for asking that — not logical!! don't even joke about that."

"... my life insurance? like, in the instance that i-"

oW THAT HURT

he flicked even harder this time!!!

you roll your eyes at him and it doesn't go unnoticed, a hand outstretching instead of his fingers flexing

“wallet, please.”

????

jungkook's surprised that you even look confused, this time rolling his eyes at you

“you rolled your eyes at me. you need to bribe me so i won’t rat you out.”

right

he has a never-ending knack for the you're rich jokes

you also know that he likes the cold and would turn the fan on even if it's too hot for a blanket, just because he wants to feel cocooned

you also know that he picks from the fourth row of drinks from the front because it's always been a habit

("the germs cling on to the first row!!!")

you also know that maybe, just maybe, you can't stand it tonight when he's putting himself out there instead of being your faux boyfriend

you keep on zoning out and hoseok, perhaps the only tolerable fellow rich kid you can tolerate within your circle, finally connects the dots in his head and snickers

he's been talking about finding the vintage sneakers he's always wanted on depop and how he almost got scammed for like tWENTY minutes already

in reality, all your nods and scowls aren't towards his story

it's to jungkook and... who's that? jihye whose dad is so colossally shitty, that this one rapper wrote a diss song for him? oh yeah, that jihye

"you like him. like actually 'lose your virginity to him' love him."

WHAT???

there's no way

"how did you-"

"you blush like one."

alright that answer was too quick

hoseok should've ATLEAST tried to wait for a few seconds before answering

"a-and the love part?"

"babe, jungkook may not be the richest one here and that should say a lot," you peer up at him nervously and he actually chuckles, peering to everyone at this function, "dude's humble — he could also just be dense to not see you love him."

okay very true

hobi's making a dig rn at how jungkook coinicidentaally happens to be blonde and maybe this is your cue to leave

hobi does not realize that his hair is aLSO dyed blonde while talking shit about jungkook and his hari

okay this is it

once again, you are NOT listening to hoseok and he's figured out what you're doing by now

you're psyching yourself up with a couple of shots and your heels are digging on the carpeted ballroom

MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY TO BE MORE OUTGOING!!

"pretend to wobble. it doesn't help that nothing can sink you."

oh okay makes sense

if you're gonna try and charm jungkook while trying to play it off as just being tipsy playfulness, atleast make it believable

hoseok snickers because this is just A+ content with the things that you choose to do in your way

shy girl with high alcohol tolerance mannn coming of age film writers would LOVE you ://

you're about to cross the distance between you and jungkook, but something knocks you on your shoulder with a gentle force that seemed intentional

is that-

hold on a second

"what a coincidence :O"

jimin?

jimin???

as in, wholesome yet slightly fuckboy-ish frat guy jimin???

he looks dashing and composed, meeting your eyes perfectly and he doesn't let your confusion startle him

"i know that look. what am i doing here?"

he says it eloquently as if he's practiced it

AND HE DID!!!

you must've looked so shocked that you immediately apologized, shaking your head no

"i-i didn’t mean-..."

you're confused, sure, but that doesn't mean you're immediately judging

it's just that you never saw jimin here or any function of the like, but you wouldn't put it past him if he does go to these things!!! he looks like a million dollars anyways

"relax, doll. you’re so far the only other person i know that i've seen in these type of things."

he looks calm and collected, but maybe that's just because he spent the last five minutes waiting for you to stand so he could bump into you

this place is just sO suffocating and a familiar face is gonna be his relief from something so fancy that it became mundane

"have we been in the same event before this?"

"not that i recall, no. i get invited but this is only the first time after awhile that i went."

jimin drinks from his champagne flute, wiggling his eyebrows playfully, "wanna know why i'm here?"

you're curious!!! what can you say!!!!

you never really interacted with jimin at all before this, but a familiar face like his is comforting

because hoseok's already engaged in another conversation and jungkook's,,,, being jungkook and is fawning all over jihye

jimin chuckles at your insistent nodding, leaning closer to whisper to your ear

"my stepdad’s loaded as fuck."

oh so that's why

he tugs you down to sit at the nearest possible empty chairs, all its occupants gone anyways because they're in the dancefloor busting tRULY horrendous moves

maybe it's because jimin feels lonely too like you are, and it's him feeling comfortable because he's pulled you like ten seconds ago and not once asked him anything out of bounds

maybe that's why he fell into conversation with you easily because you're always intently listening

"might love me as a real son too. maybe that’s a bonus? you don’t really expect that shit in the things you see."

this situation is actually pretty cute

you snort because maybe you’re nOT that shy when you drink,, that’s the only thing that changes in you probably

this whole conversation that sprung from boredom was unknowingly the subject of many stares, including jungkook who you were initially supposed to go to

“you’re worthy of love, jimin.”

:O

jimin sPITS his drink because where the fuck did THAT come from???

why did you say that and why does he feel that he needed to hear that

“i-i think — i think you need more,” he raises his own glass to your lips hurriedly, caught in surprise but you still gulp nonetheless

“you’re-“ you keep sputtering as he keeps making you drink, but he rubs circles on your back at the same time and it's when you realize that jimin the frat guy may not be that bad, “what??? don’t think you’re not the only one with daddy issues! shouldn’t we have like, a radar for each other?”

jimin snorts at your counter and his eyes crinkle to the point where he can't see anything, not being able to see how you're still trying to recover with all that fizz down your throat

wow ur really enjoyable to talk to

“you’re insane and i think-“

listen

you're not really big on feeling beyond a sense and all that stuff, but you feel as if the aura around you just got dark all of a sudden

"who are you calling insane?"

jungkook appears at your side in an instant, hands wrapped around your shoulders while you remain seated

you've honestly forgotten that you were supposed to go to jungkook, but you're reminded of that vERY clearly now

"go away, jimin," he mutters through his teeth, looking at him dead in the eye

hold on

wait

THAT'S JIMIN???

okay now he's confused

sometimes jungkook's mouth just moves on its own without loading the thought process

"why are YOU here?"

jimin furrows his brows, shocked that he'd even see jungkook here out of all people

the guy barely even attends classes!!! and that's coming from him!!

"why’s he here?"

he crouches to your ear, eyes still furrowed at the younger guy

"long story."

nO???

jungkook scowls bitterly because jesus fuck

YOU’RE ON WHISPERING TERMS NOW????

he left for one second, and the moment he comes back, that's when this fucking frat guy approaches you?? was he waiting on him to leave??

you and jungkook only act as a couple when the need arises, and even if you don't feel it, hE feels that this is the need!!! this is the need and it is arising!!!

"get back to uh, alpha bravo charlie or something, park. beat it."

why’s he reciting the nato phonetic alphabet???

jungkook sounds half-angry and half-sad at the same time, and you don't know which side should you focus on

“move,” he repeats this time again but more sternly, making jimin much more confused since jungkook's trying to pull him away from his seat

jimin doesn't budge and it makes the frown even more evident in jungkook's face

what is he FEELING

“can’t you tell that i really don’t want you to be here?”

“i’m not here for you, though. i’m here for y/n.”

he answers honestly, shis gut telling him that there's definitely something going on between the two of you

“y/n doesn’t want you here," kook argues back surely, only noticing your bitten lips now that makes him realize that you're not exactly sober; just a happy kind of rush

he sees you raise your hand timidly, an equally cheeky smile on your face that's only directed to jungkook like it's meant for him

"i-i actually don’t mind."

you don't,,,

you don't mind?

HOW'S THAT POSSIBLE

WHAT ARE YOU DOING

why aren't you signaling him to commence the faux boyfriend act!!

"y/n has a boyfriend."

“... i’m not hitting on her.”

alright this is more than the entertainment that jimin wished for lol

“yeah, well she has a boyfriend still so beat it.”

you do??

the last time you checked, jihye's gonna have jungkook as her boyfriend within the night!!

“i don-“

ALRIGHT THEN

jimin decides to indulge jungkook, knocking his knee with yours as he winks slyly, urging you silently to watch on, turning to look at you and ask

“what’s your boyfriend’s name?”

you don't answer.

that gives him all the more reason to do so.

“last name, jeon.”

jungkook looks the most determined you've ever seen him, eyes characteristically angry with his arms across his chest that his suit tightens, “first name, me.”

....

......

the three of you know that’s not the truth

jimin takes it in, sighing when he sense that something else is about to be unfold and he does noT want to be a part of it

not before whispering to your ear again for the last time, of course

“pretty weird name if you ask me,” you laugh automatically, momentarily forgetting that jungkook's standing by you on just your opposite side and could hear you

he leaves and that only leaves you with jungkook, looking up at him as he's too frantic to even sit

“what are you doing?”

“being a social butterfly," you quip just as fast, drinking your water afterwards

jungkook only clenches his jaw by then, being taken-aback when you speak again

“who are you doing?”

://

“i’m busy being mad at- wait a minute, WHO???”

who instead of what??

the short-lived enthusiasm you had with jimin left with him, crashing just as hard when you're reminded of jungkook's presence

“jihye’s a pretty nice girl. you should go home early tonight.”

his brows furrow, trying to get you to look at him but you avoid his gaze insistently, “what? what are you talking about?”

“she’s not my girlfriend though.”

you're not at all satisfied with the answer because it sounds so wrong, knowing that jungkook's a handsome guy and everyone wants to be with him!!!

and he probably wants to be with everyone else besides you.

“then who-...”

“don’t know yourself anymore? jimin must’ve really swept you off your feet, huh?”

jungkook huffs as he qualifies for a rebutt, your internal wallowing being cut short

“he’s not my boyfriend.”

...

....

“well would you look at that,” jungkook snickers, sighing through his nose as your eyes finally meet his, directly stubborn yet soft around the edges

“she’s not my girlfriend, and he’s not your boyfriend. what a coincidence.”

god did he feel so threatened the moment his eyes couldn't find you besides hobi and instead next to jimin, eyes crinkled in laughter without hesitation

have you been chasing after one another this whole time?

jungkook silently grabs you by the hand and you wave no opposition to it

maybe it's your liquor-influenced vision or maybe it's you hyperfixating on such a warm moment, but your eyes immediately lock to see the matching red thread bracelet he wore like yours

you're dressed in next year's spring collection line, and the structured silk black gown that has a train behind it doesn't exactly scream to have a simple red thread bracelet as its accessory according to your mom's designer and everyone else —

but you don't have the heart to take it off

there's no need to take it off

jungkook drives your car and no one says a single thing about anything

his hand’s on your thigh and you don’t question it, eyes locking into the way his hand looks perfect and the way the bracelet looks meant to be wrapped in his wrist in the first place

you're sure this time that it's not the newfound courage you have, but rather the need to do it

you kiss jungkook's cheek on a red light.

it's on a red light that jungkook realizes he could fit the visage of his world within one hand, finally kissing you like he's always wanted to

“yeah. what a coincidence.”

[yesimwriting]

48 hours - chapter one

a/n im almost done with my matt x ex black widow! fic, and i really wanted to have it done before my friends come visit for NYE but im not sure it'll happen and i really wanted to give you guys something before i disappear for my tiny reunion bc yall have been so supportive with the BW fic so here's a very mini series idea that came to me...

i wanted to write this bc this idea has been so soft in my head for the past couple of days and ive been binging jane the virgin again so im all over the ‘even when im pissed off, i’m going to show up bc that’s what family does’ trope bc it fits so well with matt bc of all the secrets he keeps lmaoo

also the timeline for the actual show was not my priority in making this and you can kinda tell lol so pls don’t dwell on the details on who knows matt’s identity and other stuff

summary: After finding out that Matt Murdock, the lawyer you’ve been working closely with and befriended faster than you thought possible, is actually Daredevil, you’re not sure you’ll ever be able to trust him again. But that doesn’t mean you have the heart to leave him to face his demons on his own. So you agree to stay around for 48 hours, because that’s the only way to assure that he won’t do something stupid (which is extortion if you think about it, but what are you going to do) Too bad the main problem with being alone with him is that it makes ignoring those budding feelings you’d been fighting against that much harder to ignore.

trigger warnings: i cant write someone being mad without sounding kinda annoying bc i only know how to be petty lmao, emotional dependency (not the healthiest relationship take lowkey lol but it gets resolved by the end of the mini-series, i promise), matt lowkey being toxic 😳but that one's on me (it gets fixed and kinda justified lol it just doesn't look great without the context that you get at the end of the mini-series)

----

Foggy and Karen left. Either my (not so) subtle jabs and dirty looks were too much or they came to the conclusion that the only person that should and could deal with the real fall out of what happened a few hours ago was Matt. What made them think it was a good idea to let such an injured man face the blunt of my anger, I have no idea. I guess it has to do with the fact that apparently Matt can take a lot more than he’s been letting on.

He’s still slumped on the couch, body wilted in on itself, broken and bruised. A strange combination of guilt and fury twist in me. I want to help him; I want to pick up the stupid vase on his ottoman and throw it at his head. How could I have been so stupid?

Matt shifts, a soft groan falling from his lips. Great, he’s awake. That’s part of the reason everyone left so quickly...they knew that I’d have stormed out of Matt’s apartment if anyone else was there to make sure that he didn’t bleed out to death on his couch. A very unlikely thing, but my conscience wouldn’t let me walk away until I saw him awake.

And now I’ve seen him awake, so there’s no point in still being here. He’s silent, and his face is turned away from me, so I can’t see if his eyes are open, but I know that he’s awake. Which apparently means he knows I’m standing here.

“I know you’re awake,” I mumble, “and that that means you know I’m here.” I scoff, crossing my arms in front of me. “Apparently.”

He twists his body against the couch. His movements are rigid, pained. I want to move. I want to help him, but all of my energy is going into staying together and not succumbing to the strangled feeling in my throat.

It’s choking me. The feeling of shock, of worry, of anger, and of--of betrayal. All of those sentiments swirl in my chest, pulsing through my body at a rate that’s nauseating.

And now he’s just staring at me--wide, brown eyes swirling with emotions I don’t understand. Emotions I don’t want to understand, because if I let myself think about it, about how alone he must feel right now, I’ll push aside everything I’m feeling.

He’s not a villain for this. He doesn’t owe you anything. The rational part of me reflects on these thoughts as he blinks at me, waiting for some kind of response. He’s in pain, that much is clear, and just standing here goes against all of my instincts. I’ve never seen him this broken before, but I guess I apparently have. I’ve helped Daredevil--I, I cleaned deep wounds for him at least three times, and I’ve aided Matt Murdock more than I can count. But apparently all of that was unnecessary.

“Can you tell what I’m thinking too or do you still need me to say that out loud?”

The corners of his mouth pull down, he’s practically wincing. “I can’t--I’ve never been able to read minds. Being able to hear someone’s breathing patterns isn’t exactly telepathy.”

I grind my teeth together. “You’re not actually trying to be funny right now.” He can’t brush this aside, smooth over this revelation with his soft little half smiles and heart torn eyes. “Because I’m not even sure if you’re actually blind or if that’s all a cover so that people don’t know that you’re--”

“I’m blind.” He moves like he wants to sit up, but the motion is never completed. Matt cuts himself off with a wince. My nails dig into my palms to stop myself from rushing towards him. “I can’t see the way other people see, but I can--there are things I sense, things I hear, things I smell.” He swallows once. “And I--I don’t tell people, obviously. But I--I’ll tell you everything, if you’ll listen, I’ll--”

“Don’t waste your breath.” I mean it, I mean it with my entire chest and a small part of me hates myself for it. And I--I resent him for making me feel this way about him. “I won’t believe any of it anyways, and to be honest, I don’t see the point in talking when I don’t even know who I’m talking to.” My voice almost wavers, his eyes turn into even deeper vats of emotion. Don’t look at them. Don’t fall for it. “So Matt Murdock, good guy lawyer, or the illusive Devil of Hell’s Kitchen, or whoever the hell you are--goodbye.”

The last word hurts the most. It’s an ending without a conclusion. A sore wound destined to never heal. I swallow the grief that lumps in my throat as I turn towards the door to his apartment.

“L/n.” My name is tired but not soft. Keep walking. I hear him shift against his couch, and once again the urge to help him is drowning me. He doesn’t need your help, if he’s capable of jumping over dumpsters and fighting crime bosses, he’s capable of walking in his own damn apartment. “Y--y/n, don’t go.” My nails dig even further into the palm of my skin. Go. “It’s not--this isn’t about me, there are people that want to hurt you and I--I can’t protect you right now.”

How hurt must he be for him to openly admit that he can’t do anything right now? My stomach knots. Stop caring. “Have you ever stopped for a second to consider that maybe I don’t want your protection? I’ve lived most of my life without you, placing myself in risky situations for my career, and I’ve managed. So just--stay here, try not to get anything infected, and leave me alone.”

“The people that you’ve written those articles about are nothing compared to the kinds of people I’m dealing with. And they’re going to go after you.”

The seriousness of his tone is enough to make me hesitate. I’m furious at him, but it’s not like I can dismiss facts. “What--what makes you think they’d go after me?”

He hesitates, expression still mortally wounded in a way that makes me desperate to comfort him. “They’ve seen you with me.”

“You mean they’ve seen me with your vigilante alter ego.” He’s silent, I cross my arms over my chest. “Who I’ve--cleaned wounds for and-and talked to about personal things, and the entire time it was actually you. And you let me come into the office the next day and you--you knew what I was thinking, what I had gone through the night before, and you didn’t--” This is such a stupid thing to dwell on. “And--and Foggy knew, and Karen knew, and--you all knew and you let me be such an idiot!” I clamp my mouth shut after those words. There it is, for both of us to see--the deepest part of my emotional wound.

Matt stills for a moment, and then all of his strength goes into him shifting into a sitting position. His expression remains hard, pained. I push down the instinct to do something, anything. “L/n.” I should run out of here. I should have run out of here the moment I realized he was still alive and my conscience was made clear by the fact that I didn’t let him bleed out on his couch. “That’s what this is about.”

“No, this is about the fact that you’re an untrustworthy liar that made me feel like I was going crazy.” My stomach knots, but its too late to back down. “And also, maybe, a little bit about the fact that I finally felt like I found people. My people, good people that I could trust.”

“You did. You have.” I scoff. “We just wanted to protect you.” The pleading behind his eyes is unbearable. “I just wanted to protect you, and I made them keep it from you.”

“You know my entire life I’ve always felt like I’ve cared more about other people than they do about me. I’ve had so many people use me for stories or my--my family, and I thought I finally found something more than that.” My voice is shaking, and I’m torn between running out of his apartment and punching him in the stomach or something else stupid and petty. “And you took that from me--and that--that really sucks.”

“I know.” He has no defense. There is no defense.

My shoulders fall. “I have an article due tomorrow night, so...” Not the ending I want, but maybe that’s for the best. I’m not in the headspace to get closure...nothing permanent will bring me peace right now. “I um--I don’t think I’ll be in the office tomorrow.”

He shifts again, with a little more force. I think he’s trying to stand. Don’t help. “L/n.” My last name again, what he’s called me most since the day I first met him. It no longer makes my stomach flutter the way it once did. Or, I guess it still kind of does, but these butterflies are different...these hurt. “Don’t.”

“Don’t what? Have a totally normal reaction to realizing that every important person in my life has been lying to me?” I shake my head, the irony of it all making me want to laugh. “You know I thought the biggest lie I’d have to deal with this year is finding out about all the criminal things my dad had been doing and the origin of our family money. But no, the biggest lie has to do with my dad’s enemy who happens--”

“It wasn’t like that. You know it wasn’t like that.” A lie is a lie. It doesn’t matter. “Your father lied to manipulate you into thinking he changed, I kept a secret so that you’d be safe.”

Whatever. It doesn’t matter. “I won’t be in tomorrow,” I repeat, voice a little more settled. Resigned. I wish I could say I never want to see him again. I wish I could feel like that--like I have the strength to not care about what happens to him. “If you could um--if you could text me or get someone to text me every day or every other day?” My face burns. I wipe my face with the back of my palm. “I don’t think I’ll text back, but I’ll be able to sleep, and I don’t know what you owe me, but I think it’s at least that much.”

I reach for the front door, finally pulling it open. The air in the hall feels a lot colder than it did before. Some sound I can’t name forces me to stop. It’s--it’s broken. I turn around despite myself...he’s...I think he’s crying, but there’s something more to the sound than tears. Something desperate and breathy. Is he hyperventilating?

“Matt?” My voice is smaller than I wanted it to be and my hand has yet to let go of the door to his apartment.

I turn on my heels, nervously looking behind me. He’s slumped forward, his back hunched in a way that makes it impossible to see his face. Is he--no, walk away. You don’t care. I will myself to move, to remember all the lying and the confusion I felt and...screw it, who am I kidding? I give into my instincts, rushing to his side on the couch.

My hand is on his shoulder before I can stop myself. “H-hey, you’re okay.”

He shakes his head. I catch more of the bruises on the left side of his face than I had before. Pity pulses through me. “Don’t go.” Now his voice is small. Smaller than I’ve ever heard it be. “Don’t--I don’t know what--”

“Matt...” Okay, I don’t have to be vindictive about the whole walking out on him thing right now. There will be plenty of time to be angry with him later, once he’s more stable and--and better. “This isn’t fair.” He says nothing, still too lost in his crisis. “You really hurt me, and I’m allowed to be mad at you. I should be able to be mad without feeling guilty.” I run my hand up and down his arm as gently as possible. He exhales lightly at the extended contact. I bite my tongue to avoid losing anymore self control. “I’m going to go, and you’re going to be okay.”

My fingers slowly detach themselves from him. I pull away with a patience I don’t feel. I move to stand, but at the last second his hand latches onto my arm. “Don’t go, I--I know what they’re planning.”

“Planning?”

He winces when I pull away from his touch. “They’re going to go after you because of me.” The guilt in his voice is another knife in my stomach. “You know it’s true.” My breath catches in my chest. Matt must sense it, or hear it, or whatever he does, because he shifts again. When he grabs my forearm, I let him. “Be as mad as you want, but be mad here.”

I swallow once, forcing my back to straighten. A clean, healthy break. We need it. “Matt--”

He moves again, his fingers tactfully pressing into my skin. “I need you.” The words hang there, as heavy as my heart. “And that’s not--that’s not something that I can just say.”

Oh my god...Okay, I have to get out of here. Now or never. Just stand up, just--ugh. Who the hell am I kidding? “You know you’re really good at laying on the guilt when you want to.”

“One of the many benefits of being a devoted Catholic.”

If things were any better, I’d laugh. But they’re not. “I um-I really appreciate what you said, I know that that’s not easy for you.”

His eyes are doing that terribly compelling, kicked puppy thing. How can I want to be away from him as badly as I want to be near him? He moves his hand slowly, cautiously. I let him intertwine our fingers. Matt drops his head slightly, lifting our joined hands to his forehead. I sigh, ignoring the sentiments that bubble in my chest. Okay, two minutes, I can sit here for two minutes--that won’t kill anyone. Probably.

He moves my hand again. I let him until I feel the brush of his lips against the back of my palm. Even before I was this angry, I was wary of soft gestures like that. “What are--” No, don’t ask what he’s doing, just make sure he stops it. “What you’re doing isn’t healthy and it’s not going to work.” I mean it--or at least, I want to mean it with every fiber of my being. “I can’t trust you anymore and that hurts and I--I need time to deal with that. Alone. And there’s nothing you can do or say to change that, to change what you did.”

Matt’s silence is not safe. It doesn’t feel like acceptance because that would be too easy. He’s plotting, he has to be. “Are you sure?” What kind of question is that? “I’ll do anything.” I stay still, ignoring the nerves swelling in my chest. “I’ll do anything you want, l/n. Just--just don’t go.”

I press my lips together into a hard line. His stupid, soft eyes and messy hair...and the-the needy look behind his eyes. I’m only human. I have weaknesses. Okay--I’ve hit my limit, if I don’t get out now, I may never follow through. “What I want is to feel like I can trust you.” I pull my hand away, creating the distance between us that I need to be capable of rational thought. “And to feel like you’re not going to do something stupid while all those ribs are still broken and your lung is partially collapsed or...”

“Okay.” His voice is so assured, so certain, my panic stalls.

“What do you mean okay?”

He still looks like a rejected puppy. “Stay and--and I’ll take the night off. I’ll focus on meditating and I’ll answer all of your questions if you want to ask, and--”

Is he really using the fact that I don’t want him hunting down dangerous criminals while he’s half dead to his advantage? “Are you seriously trying to extort me right now?” I sigh, anger and dread spiking in me all over again. “And--and meditating? What does that have to do with anything?”

“I heal faster when I meditate.”

Uneasy laughter cuts through me. The sound must be more nervous than I thought because Matt stalls. “I’m sorry--you heal faster when you meditate? Why did you never call Tony Stark? You have enough going on to be a freaking Avenger or something.”

His expression makes it clear that he doesn’t know whether or not I’m actually snapping. “It’d get in the way of the day job.”

“Right, the ever important separate worlds thing. That’s why you kept me around, right?” I scratch the back of my arm, discomfort settling in my stomach. “Everyone in your circle knew the truth and you wanted to feel normal and you met me and could tell how much I wanted to belong somewhere and--”

“No,” he tries to sit up further, but his body is too tired, “it wasn’t like that at all. You know that.”

“Do I?” I sit up a little straighter. “What um--what was real and what was fake?” My eyes focus on the wall in front of him. “About us, I mean, because I--I really cared about—I still care about you because I’m still sitting on this couch even though I should have left the second I was sure you weren’t going to bleed out.”

“All of it.”

“Even when you were comforting me over my father? Or were you just trying to get the information you needed to stop him?”

He frowns. “Y/n--”

“Forget it.” I wipe my hands on my jeans. “It doesn’t matter now.”

“It does.”

I shake my head once even though he can’t see it. “So you think people are after me?”

Matt hesitates. “...I know they are.”

His tone is clear--he’s not going to give me any details on how he’s so sure that I’m in danger. “And if--if I stay you’re not going to do anything stupid until you’re better?”

“I think Hell’s Kitchen will survive a night without me.”

Oh--he’s insane. I blink twice, shocked at how one person can be so deluded. “A night? No--I saw how much blood you lost.” He opens his mouth to protest, but he’s gotten his way enough today. “And keep in mind how angry I am and what you’re asking of me. You need a full recovery.”

“I’ll be honest about how I’m feeling in the morning.”

He is in no position to negotiate. “The only person in any position to make arguments here is me, and I saw you throw up blood, and--and Foggy had to say a lot to keep me from dragging your ass to a hospital.” I should have just left him outside of an ER. “72 hours--that’s standard for—“

“You don’t know what I need--”

“No, but I know that our entire friendship was based on lies.”

Now it’s his turn to press his lips together. “It wasn’t.”

“Tell that to my father, who you got arrested with information that you got from me when I thought you were just my friend.”  I fold my hands on my lap. “You know I would have helped you if you had just told me the truth.”

Maybe my voice sounds just small enough to appeal to the part of him that’s decent enough to feel bad about all the lying. “48 hours. I’ll stay if you stay.”

I wipe my face with the palm of my hand, inhaling sharply in an attempt to clear my thoughts. Two days with him is the last thing I want right now. “Fine.” This doesn’t mean anything...he’s feeling panicky now, but that will pass, and then I’ll be able to walk away and deal with my own hurt. “But I’m not going to be nice to you, and I’m only doing it so that I don’t have to end up writing a news article about a dead body in a devil’s suit found in a dumpster.”

His expression is still tinged by that sad, innocent look. “The people here need me in that suit, I’m not going to apologize for that.”

“And I needed you.” Great, this is a level of vulnerability I didn’t want to reach here. “I needed you as a friend, as someone I trusted.” I grip the arm of his couch as I force myself to stand. “I’m going to the bathroom.”

These next 48 hours are going to be so much fun.

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if youre interested in part 2 lmk :)) and if this is really bad bc i wrote this while very tired i am sorry!! im still getting used to writing matt and even though i love him very much im still working on his voice :)