#i saw a lot of people ask for izzy to marry them. and while that's incredibly funny im just too fond of first mate oluwande | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

watchmegetobsessed · 4 years ago

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TO LOVE AND BE LOVED - Part Three (Harry Styles)

a/n: part 3 wohoo! thank you so much for all the love you’ve been showing the series, it keeps me going and writing more and more! originally i thought it would turn out to be about three parts, but it has outgrown that limit so i added two more parts to the masterpost, that’s for sure is gonna happen but i might even add more?! not sure, im still in the writing process so i can’t tell how long it’s going to turn out to be, but this just means even more content for you guys!

as always, feedback is very much appreciated, please make sure to share your thoughts and comments on the part, it’s such a huge boost for writers to read what you thought!!

pairing: CEO!Dad!Harry X Reader

warning: mentions of death, cheating and divorce

word count: 11.4k

SERIES MASTERPOST masterlist

When you were working at the daycare you couldn’t focus on photography as much as you would have liked to. You often had to stay in for extra hours, wait until the last kid was picked up and then do paperwork, or change the decoration in your room or whatever Clair asked you to do that day. By the time you got home you just wanted to take a bath and fall into bed. You also had to travel 40 minutes to work which took away a lot of time from your day.

Working for Harry helped you immensely with focusing more on your passion. Even on his worse days he got home by six and since your workplace is your home, you don’t even have to drive forty minutes to enjoy the comfort of your home, you just walk up the stairs to your room and that’s it.

In addition, taking care of Izzy, you still have the chance to work on some editing or snap new pictures. You have time off when she has her classes and when you put her down for her nap. The best thing is that Izzy is quite interested in photography, she gets very interested whenever she sees you bring out one of your cameras and she always lets you take pictures of her, posing and goofing around. The folder on your computer that has her name is growing each day with more and more sweet photos of the little girl that has completely stolen your heart. You’ve been regularly getting your favorites shots of her printed and you always leave them on Harry’s desk so when he gets home he sees them and they make him forget about whatever happened at work that day.

You are getting more and more emails about possible sessions and slowly but surely, your weekends start to fill up with weddings, birthday parties and engagement photoshoots. It seems like you have definitely made the right choice when you took this job. No doubts.

“Can I ask a question, daddy?” Izzy is poking the peas around on her plate as the four of you sit at the dining table at dinner. Ruth has joined you today, because Harry had to make a quick trip to his office in the afternoon and you were out shopping with Trevor today.

“Sure, baby,” Harry hums nodding.

“Why don’t you eat meat?” she asks seriously, eyeing her own plate that has some chicken on it, while Harry’s is only stacked with veggies and potatoes.

“Because I decided that I won’t want to.”

“Can I decide that too?”

“You’re a little too young for that, baby. You need the meat to grow big. When you’re older you can think about what kind of things you want to and don’t want to eat.”

“Okay,” she nods without throwing a tantrum about her dad telling her no. You know quite a few kids who would have flipped over it, but not Izzy. Harry might not even realize how good of a job he is doing raising her and teaching her how to be a good human.

“I have another question,” she announces, glancing up at Harry.

“Go ahead.”

“If you don’t eat meat, does that make you an herbivore?”

You can’t push down a chuckle, you were not expecting this. Your eyes meet Ruth’s over the table, she is enjoying this conversation just as much as you do. It’s cute how Izzy put two and two together and made a seemingly logical conclusion.

“We learned about herbivore dinosaurs this week,” you inform Harry, who is a little lost about why his daughter just called him an herbivore. Also, you’re quite impressed that she remembered the word, though she struggled with it at first, but it seems like it finally stuck.

Harry shakes his head chuckling as he sets his fork down, looking over at Izzy.

“In a way I should be called an herbivore, but that’s not what you call people who don’t eat meat. I’m a vegetarian.”

“Oh, okay,” she nods, wrapping up the information in her head as she keeps eating.

You and Ruth clean up after dinner while Harry gives Izzy a bath, a little earlier than usually, because she spilled apple juice on herself, so he decided to just go straight for the bath instead of changing once more before bedtime.

“Will you be fine with putting these away, Darling?” Ruth asks as you’re drying the last few dishes.

“Sure! I’ll take care of it,” you smile back at her as she nods and heads into the living room.

Harry emerges from upstairs with a freshly cleaned Izzy on his arms. As soon as her little feet touch the floor she bolts over to join Ruth in front of the TV while Harry walks into the kitchen just as you put the last dish away.

“Hey, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about,” he starts and suddenly, you feel your stomach drop, especially because his face seems very serious.

“Oh God, what did I do?” you ask, feeling yourself panicking already.

“Nothing! It’s not like that!” he chuckles softly, realizing you kind of misunderstood the situation.

“Okay, good. Sorry, you just looked so serious.”

“Sorry, I was just… thinking. So two friends of mine that I work together with also are getting married soon. They had a photographer booked already, but the guy cancelled on them and, um, I hope you don’t mind, but I recommended you to them.”

“Really?” you ask in complete surprise.

“Yeah. Actually, they saw a picture of Izzy that you took in my office and we started talking about how you do photoshoots in your free time and then I told them to ask if you’d be up to do their wedding as well.”

“Wow, that’s really nice of you, Harry. Thank you!”

“I gave them your number, they’ll probably call you sometime next week or so.”

“Great!” you beam, excited about the new event you can work at. “I hope they’ll want to work with me.”

“I kind of hyped you up for them and they seemed very pleased with the pictures I showed them, so I’m sure they will want to,” Harry chuckles softly, even blushing a little. It always amazes you how a tall, muscular guy with so many tattoos can be such a soft, caring and loving person. It always reminds you not to judge the book by its cover.

“Thank you, Harry. This means a lot to me.” Reaching over you place your hand on his arm and give it a gentle squeeze before moving past him to join Ruth and Izzy in the living room.

Harry was right about Sarah and Mitch being all excited to get in contact with you, because they don’t even wait for the next week to reach out. Sunday afternoon you are working on some more editing at the dining table while Harry and Izzy are painting on the other end of the table, busy with their masterpieces when your phone starts ringing, an unknown number shown on the screen.

“Y/N Y/L/N,” you answer it, leaning back in your seat.

“Y/N, hi! My name is Sarah Jones, I hope I’m not calling at a bad time, Harry gave me your number this week.”

“Oh! Sarah, yeah! So nice to talk to you!” you beam and Harry’s eyes snap up to you at the mentioning of the familiar name. “Harry mentioned you’d reach out and don’t worry, I’m happy to chat.”

“That’s great. I wanted to wait until Monday, but truth is that we are kind of in a short of time and I was afraid you’d be already busy for our date, so I wanted to call you as soon as possible.”

“No worries.”

“So first and foremost, I’m gonna ask if you have anything planned on the last weekend of May. I know it’s just in a few weeks, but I really hope we can work it out.”

“Let me pull up my calendar,” you tell her as you open up the app on your computer that you use to keep track with your sessions and events. Finding the weekend in question in it, you smile at the empty space. “Good news, seems like I’m free that weekend.”

“Oh thank God!” she breathes out in relief and you let out a chuckle. “That’s so amazing. So then would it be possible to meet up sometime next week? You could show some more works of yours and we can discuss more details, how does that sound?”

“This week? Well I have to work—“ you start, but Harry cuts you off.

“Come into the office tomorrow morning.” “What?”

“Put her on speaker,” he smiles nodding towards your phone and you do as he asked, setting it to the table with Sarah on speaker. “Hey Sarah!”

“Harry, hi!”

“Aunt Sarah?” Izzy’s ears perk up, some pink paint on her cheeks that you have no idea how it got there, because her painting doesn’t even have any pink in it.

“Hi Izzy! So good to hear your voice!” she chuckles through the phone.

“Sarah, you’re gonna be at the studio Monday morning, right?” Harry asks and you can’t not notice how his voice changed the slightest bit as soon as he started talking about business.

“Yeah and Mitch is coming too,” she confirms.

“Okay then how about you come in tomorrow morning, Y/N?”

“But what about Izzy?”

“She can come too. I’ll look after her while you discuss the details, it’s no big deal. It’s been a while since the last time she came to work with me,” he smirks over at the little girl, who is already excited to spend some more time with her daddy at his workplace.

“Are you sure about that?”

“Absolutely,” he nods smiling.

“Thank you, well then I’m okay with tomorrow if it’s fine for you as well, Sarah.”

“That would be perfect! Thank you guys both, Mitch and I really appreciate it.”

“No worries,” Harry nods, going back to his painting. You take Sarah off the phone as you say your goodbye before ending the call.

You start Monday off with some extra excitement. Not just because you are about to get booked for another event, but also because it’s going to be the first time you see Harry at his workplace. He has been quite good at keeping his business separated from his private life, it never really happens that you catch him dwell about anything work related whenever he is home and around Izzy. The phone call with Sarah was like a tiny glimpse of what he might be like when he is in work mode and you’re kind of curious to see more of this side of him.

Just as usual, Harry takes care of Izzy in the morning while you get ready on your own. You want to look good, not only are you going to meet more of his friends, but people he works with. Or should you say, people who work for him.

You choose a light pink dress, throwing a white knitted sweater over your shoulders with a pair of ballerinas. After putting on some light makeup and grabbing your purse and laptop you head downstairs to grab a quick breakfast. Izzy is already sitting at the table, still in her pajamas since her and food are a dangerous combination and Harry always makes sure to get her dressed once she is away from all of that.

“You look so pretty, Y/N!” she beams, her legs dangling from the chair as she digs into her oatmeal. Harry appears from the kitchen and he has the same look on his face like when he saw you leave for that wedding a while ago. A blush paints his cheeks as he slows his steps down, his eyes running down on the length of your body before they return to your face.

“Izzy is right, you look… really pretty, Y/N,” he compliments into your face, unlike last time when you only heard him call you pretty when he thought you were long gone.

“Thank you,” you breathe out with a soft chuckle.

The morning carries on as usual, Harry dresses Izzy for the day and then you all head out, however you stop short upon seeing the various cars parked on the driveway and the double garage.

“Maybe take the Rover, it’s got the child seat in it and I’ll take the Jaguar today,” Harry suggests as he hands you over the keys to the Rover and then nears the car he is taking for the day.

“Oh yeah, you just take the Jaguar, boss,” you chuckle under your breath, finding it a little funny that deciding on which car you’re taking for the day is even a question in someone else’s life.

Izzy sings along the radio as you follow Harry’s car into the label’s building. Of course, it’s not just some simple office building, it’s situated in the riches area of the city and the building is massive with loads of floors and a huge HES Records sign above the entrance where you meet Harry after parking down.

“Good morning, Mr. Styles! Hello, Izzy!” the woman behind the front desk smiles widely immediately, standing up from her chair to hand Harry a stack of envelopes. “Your post, sir.”

“Thank you, Veronica. Have a nice day,” Harry nods in her way as the three of you move through the hall to the elevators. Waiting for it to arrive, you glance at the board on the wall that lists everything you can find in the building and the level you should look for it at. There are endless amount of studios, at least three on each levels, offices, creative rooms and conference rooms. It’s pretty clear that HES Records manages a lot of talents and that requires a lot of space.

Arriving to the twentieth floor, which is of course the top of the building, you are in awe as you realize that the whole floor is basically Harry’s office. There’s a kind of hall area for his two assistants, he has his own conference room, his kitchen and dining area and of course, his office space. The whole place screams power and influence. The modern design of the interior makes it such a fancy work space not just for him, but for everyone else in the building. It’s truly impressive.

“Wow, Harry. This place is… amazing,” you breathe out as he walks the two of you into the conference room where Izzy immediately climbs up to one of the chairs, standing up so she can lean onto the table. Harry walks behind her and adjusts her so she just sits before she could fall off.

“Thank you. I really like this place too. I always thought it’s important to have a great place to work at,” he smiles, clearly proud of how far his business has come. “There’s a mini fridge over there, feel free to take anything you’d like. Sarah texted me on the way here that they’ll be here shortly.”

“Great, thank you,” you nod, taking a seat next to Izzy as you set your laptop up. The glass door of the room opens and one of the assistants peeks inside.

“Mr. Styles, Mrs. Wonstein is on the phone asking for you.”

“Oh, alright, give me a minute and I’ll take it.” The assistant nods and walks out. “Izzy, come with daddy a little, alright? Let Y/N do her thing.” “She can stay, if you want. I can look after her,” you tell him, but he shakes his head as Izzy climbs off the chair and running over to him, she takes his hand.

“No, just focus on this one. I’ll take care of her, don’t worry.”

“Thank you, Harry,” you smile with gratitude as the two of them walk out, leaving you alone. You start scrolling through your folders, wondering which photos you should show Sarah and Mitch, picking out some of your favorites while you wait for them, though they don’t take too long to arrive. Soon enough the glass door opens and the lovely couple walks in.

“Y/N! Hi, it’s so nice to finally meet you!” Sarah greets you, wrapping you in a warm hug before stepping aside.

“Hi, I’m Mitch, nice to meet you,” the groom-to-be smiles shyly as he pulls you in for a short hug as well.

“Good to meet you guys too,” you smile back at them as you all sit to the table.

“Thank you so much for meeting us in such a short notice. Our photographer bailed out on us and I was starting to really worry when Harry mentioned that you are doing this kind of stuff in your free time,” Sarah explains.

“No worries. Would you like to go over some of my previous works?” you offer and they both nod in excitement before you start clicking through some old projects.

They share their vision for the whole wedding and the kind of pictures they would like and you like their approach and feel like it’s right up your alley. They both seem to like what you show them and Sarah compliments on how well you are able to catch small, but important moments.

“The wedding won’t be too big, just friends and family, but we do want a lot of memories, it means a lot to us,” Sarah explains and you nod, noting everything she says.

“Harry said you like this oldschool kind of vibe in your pictures,” Mitch chimes in.

“Oh, yeah. I like to make them look like they weren’t taken on a digital sometimes.”

“Do you think you can make some of those for us as well? Not all of them, just a couple,” Sarah asks.

“Sure! It’s more about the editing process, but it’s totally doable.”

You go over a few more things, making sure you’re on the same page, but you feel like things are working out perfectly. Though you guessed they would be great people, it’s still nice to work with such a nice and professional couple. You’ve had some crazy ones before, they definitely don’t make the job easy on you, but it’s not the case right now.

“Okay, so are you sure the date is okay for you? We wouldn’t want you to cancel on anything you had before just because we are Harry’s friends,” Mitch assures you, but you give them a warm smile.

“I’m totally free, don’t worry. Harry doesn’t have that kind of advantage here,” you chuckle softly.

“Thank you so much in this case. You’re truly a lifesaver,” Sarah breathes out in relief.

“Thank you for the trust. I’m really looking forward to working with you guys!”

Finishing up the meeting you pack up, chatting a little out of the business talk with Sarah and Mitch as you head over to Harry’s office.

“Hey! How did it go?” Harry asks as soon as the three of you walk in. Izzy is sitting at his desk, like a little boss, coloring something as he is sitting on the corner of the desk.

“Amazing, we owe you one for suggesting her,” Sarah sighs and you can’t help but just chuckle at how thankful she really is that you could help them out.

“You owe me no more than just one dance at the wedding,” Harry smiles at her.

“Can I dance too?” Izzy’s head perks up.

“Oh baby, you’re not coming to the wedding. You’ll be staying with Grandma, I already told you.” Izzy pouts at her dad, but she doesn’t seem to mind it that much, she quickly goes back to coloring.

“We’ll dance some other time, okay?” Sarah offers her and she nods happily.

“Can I dance with Uncle Mitch too?” she questions and Mitch just smiles down at her.

“Of course,” he hums, curling an arm around Sarah’s waist. “I have a meeting in ten so I’ll head out, I’m gonna pick James up in the afternoon, alright?” He kisses Sarah’s temple before pulling Harry into a brotherly hug. “Y/N, it was so nice to meet you and thank you for everything again,” he smiles at you, enveloping you in a quick hug as well.

“See you soon,” you smile back before he waves his last goodbye and leaves. “Who’s James?” you ask curiously.

“James is our son. He is turning three this year,” Sarah beams proudly.

“Oh! You two already have a son, that’s great! I’ll make sure to snap a bunch of photos of him too,” you chuckle.

“Please, our house is already packed with pictures, but there’s just never enough,” Sarah laughs.

The three of you chat a little longer while Izzy is busy with her coloring, talking about the wedding and whatnot, Harry invites her and Mitch over for dinner sometime and she happily says yes before business is calling her so she heads out as well.

“Okay, come one, little Sunshine. Let’s get home, Rosaline will be over soon for your piano lesson,” you smile down at Izzy who throws all her coloring stuff into one of Harry’s drawers before hopping off the leather seat.

“I’ll see you in the afternoon, okay?” Harry leans down and kisses the top of her head before pressing his lips to her cheek as well.

“Bye daddy, have a good day!” she calls out, grabbing your hand as you head to the door, Harry following behind.

“Mr. Styles, you have a meeting in five with—“ one of the assistants speaks up, but Harry stops her.

“I know, tell him I’ll be down in a minute. And please call Isaac to remind him about his deadline tomorrow,” he asks in that voice again you heard yesterday when Sarah called. There’s just something so intimidating yet exciting in the way he bosses around, but not like an asshole. He is a man in power, but he surely knows how to use it for the good.

“I forgot to talk to you about the time Izzy is spending at my mum’s, please remind me to go over it with you tonight, alright?” Harry asks and you nod as the elevator’s door opens and the two of you walk in.

“Bye daddy!” Izzy waves at him.

“Bye baby, be good! Bye Y/N!” he smiles as the door starts to close.

“See you later,” you smile back before he disappears from your sight.

The meeting with Sarah and Mitch got you buzzing, because it’s gonna be such an intimate yet beautiful wedding and those are your favorite. You can’t wait to start snapping the pictures and make their memories last forever of their big day.

You want to say thank you to Harry for suggesting you to them, so while Izzy is with Rosaline, you make a quick round to the grocery store and get everything you need to make some cupcakes, knowing well Harry loves those. He once told you that he could easily eat a dozen of those if he had the chance, so you think it’s gonna be the perfect way to thank him.

You keep the usual schedule, but after your little learning session in the afternoon, instead of heading out to the backyard to play, you suggest you bake the cupcakes together and Izzy is more than happy to help you.

It doesn’t take long for the kitchen to turn into a warzone, ingredients spilled to the counter all over the place, some music is playing in the background and you’ve been struggling to figure out how to use the different machines around the super modern kitchen.

You go all out with the decorations, you even bought some food coloring so you can make the cupcakes different colors and mess around with the icing and cream as well. You get so busy with the task on hand that time flies by faster than you expected. The two of you are still working on the decorating when the front door opens and Harry walks into the mess you’ve created in the past hours.

“What is doing on here?” he chuckles, seeing Izzy’s hair covered in flour, whipped cream on her nose and cheeks as she is throwing some sprinkles on one of the cupcakes, sitting on the kitchen island counter while you are finishing up another one.

“Oh! I wanted it to be a surprise!” you pout. “Izzy and I are making you cupcakes!”

“Why do I deserve a surprise?” he asks smirking, walking farther into the kitchen as he looks around, finding the mess quite amusing, rather than annoying. Harry knows well enough that it’s not easy to keep the place around you clean when there are kids involved in any process.

“I wanted to thank you for suggesting me to Sarah and Mitch. It was really nice of you.”

“Already told you it was nothing. Of course I suggest them a good photographer if I know one.”

You just smile at him shrugging, because no matter how hard he is trying to play it down, it meant a lot to you.

“Look daddy!” Izzy holds up her cupcake, half of it is covered with sprinkles, the other half is decorated with chocolate chips and she is clearly proud of it.

“That looks great, baby!” he smiles proudly, kissing the top of her head. “You have so much stuff on you, you could easily turn into a cupcake too,” he jokes, making her laugh.

“Be a cupcake with me, daddy!” Izzy beams and before Harry could stop her, she wipes some whipped cream to his face, getting him dirty as well. You gasp before letting out a laugh, Izzy shrieks happily seeing her dad all dressed up fancily and licking the cream off his face.

“Isabelle Styles, you have no idea what you just brought on yourself,” he warns in a low tone, already making Izzy scoot backwards as she is trying to escape, but she doesn’t have anywhere to go, the kitchen island’s edge is right behind her butt. However, she doesn’t realize it and tries to push herself back some more, deeming herself to fall right off, but before anything could happen Harry scoops her into his arms, pressing his creamy face to her cheek, making an even bigger mess that’s already there. Izzy is moving around, laughing and screaming as Harry gets some more cream to his hands, wiping it onto her anywhere he can.

“Oh my God, you are wasting all the cream!” you call him out, but it’s such a sweet moment to witness, you would never blame him for wasting it.

Harry stops attacking Izzy and turns to you with a dark look in his eyes.

“Izzy, I think Y/N looks too clean, doesn’t she?” he cocks his head to the side, exchanging a look with the girl in his arms.

“She does!” Izzy agrees as you start backing away from them. Harry sets Izzy down to her feet, grabbing the bowl with the remaining of the cream. He gets a handful for himself and lets Izzy fill her palms as well.

“Oh no, don’t you dare!” you warn them, holding up your pointing finger at them, trying to escape, but you are kind of cornered against the counter.

“It’s my house, I do whatever I want to,” he smirks, so full of himself and in a blink of the eye, they both launch themselves at you and Hell breaks loose.

They start whipping cream on you anywhere they can and when it’s gone, Harry just decides to go for anything else he can reach. Izzy is throwing sprinkles around while thanks to Harry, flour is flying everywhere, completely destroying the kitchen.

“Stop! No! I surrender!” you scream, fighting back, but it’s two against one.

“No mercy!” Harry shouts, so excited, as if he just transformed into a little boy, throwing mud around.

You grab his wrists when he tries to pour sugar on top of your head straight from the contained, holding him back, but he is so much stronger than you, it’s kind of a lost fight already. You don’t even realize how close he is, your chests are almost touching as he has you pinned against the counter, faces only about two inches away from each other. His wrist slides out of your hold, but he drops the sugar to the counter next to you. You try to snatch it to use his own weapon against him, but he is quick to stop you, forcing your hand down next to your side, but in the process he managed to bring you even closer, flushed against his hard chest and your lips part at the sudden mood change that he must be feeling as well, because the playfulness disappears from his eyes pretty fast and it’s replaced by something entirely different, something you can’t even read, because you haven’t seen it in his eyes before. And then…

Then you see his eyes flicker down to your lips, just a moment before yours move down to his. It’s that moment. It’s that exact moment when you just know you both are thinking about kissing, but you don’t know if it’s going to happen or now. You’re not even sure you want it to happen.

You fucking moron, of course you want to kiss him! That tiny voice in the back of your mind screams at you. In a heartbeat, it seems like he is about to move closer, but then the moment is interrupted and completely destroyed when a woman walks into the house, scaring you to death.

“Wow, it seems like Izzy took over control completely,” she comments, walking further into the house as you jump away from Harry, suddenly very aware of the mess you’ve made.

“Gemma, what—“ Harry starts, but he is quickly cut off.

“Don’t ask what I’m doing here, I literally texted you today that I would come by and you said it’s okay.” She gives him a look before her eyes move over to you as you’re trying to somehow clean everything up, but it’ll take a little longer probably. “You must be Y/N, hi! I’m Gemma, Harry’s sister.”

She steps over to you holding out a hand and you reach for it, but then stop, seeing that your palms are all floury. You both let out a chuckle, deciding to just move over the handshake.

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you, though it would have been better if we met when I didn’t have whipped cream in my eyes,” you joke.

“Auntie Gemma, we made cupcakes, do you want one?” Izzy runs up to her, holding up a cupcake that was finished, unlike the majority that are going to have poor decorations, since Harry and Izzy decided to use everything in the fight. Now it’s the floor that’s covered with icing, cream and sprinkles.

“Maybe later, sweetie, but they look awesome!”

As you wipe your face with a kitchen towel, you can feel Harry’s gaze on you, your heart beating so fast in your chest, it’s pushing all the blood up into your head that’s already feeling dizzy. What would have happened if Gemma didn’t walk in? Would has he kissed you? Or did you misread the situation and it was nothing just part of the game?

You busy yourself with cleaning up as Harry cleans himself a little with a paper towel before stepping closer to his sister.

“I totally forgot you texted, I replied in the middle of a meeting, I think I didn’t process the message.”

“It’s fine,” Gemma sighs. “I’m already used to my little brother forgetting about me,” she teases him, but he just rolls his eyes at her.

“Let me just help Y/N clean up the kitchen and I’ll be right with you. Would you mind cleaning Izzy off?” Harry asks her, but you stop him short.

“Oh, I’ll take care of this, don’t worry,” you assure him, but as his eyes snap over at you, you lose your voice. He clearly felt the moment as well earlier and now it’s kind of getting awkward, you don’t really want to be left alone with him right now. Not until you figure out what this whole thing was.

“Are you sure? I mean I was the one who started it and—“

“It’s fine,” you try your best to smile at him without overheating. He is standing several feet away from you, but you can still feel what it felt like to be pushed up against him.

Harry hesitates, his eyes following your every move while you are trying to busy yourself and act normal, while you are literally crumbling inside. You almost kissed your boss in the middle of his kitchen, you need a moment to process that.

“Alright, let me know if you need help,” he murmurs before picking Izzy up and heading upstairs to clean them both, Gemma following them right behind. When they are out of your sight, you lean against the counter, breathing out heavily.

Meanwhile upstairs, Harry hands Izzy his phone to play some games while he cleans her and himself off in the bathroom. Gemma sits on the edge of the tub, eyeing her brother curiously, which Harry notices.

“What?” he asks, stripping Izzy out of her dirty clothes.

“What was all that about?”

“What do you mean?”

“I saw you, Harry. You were like, ready to snog Y/N right then and there when I walked in. Did I miss something?”

“No idea what you’re talking about and I would appreciate it if you didn’t bring this up when it’s not just the two of us,” he replies firmly, looking down at the girl who is obliviously tapping on the screen. Gemma just rolls her eyes before leaving the two of them alone.

Wandering down she finds you scrubbing the counters from the mess you’ve made, deep in your thoughts. Seeing her walk in, you shoot her a smile, not sure what to say or if you even should say anything, but when she grabs a towel for herself and starts helping, you speak up.

“Oh, don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of it.”

“Don’t be silly, I’m happy to help,” she smiles, as she starts cleaning the kitchen island up. “So how do you like working for my brother, so far? He mentioned what happened with the daycare. Honestly, those mothers are entitled spoiled brats,” she scoffs making you smile.

“They weren’t too delightful even before the whole fiasco,” you chuckle softly. “But I really like it here. There are a lot more perks and it’s so much easier to focus on one kid than to have fifteen at a time,” you point out making her laugh.

“Yeah, I’m good with my two, don’t think I could handle more.”

“Oh, you have kids?”

“Yes, two sons. Beau is turning ten this year and Jasper turned six in January.” Gemma pulls out her phone from her back pocket and unlocking it she shows you the homescreen that has a picture of two adorable boys sitting on a bench next to each other, munching on a big bowl of strawberries. The younger one, Jasper has a red sunhat on his head while Beau is rocking some cool sunglasses.

“Oh my God, they look so much like you!”

“I get that a lot and honestly, they really should!” Gemma scoffs. “It took twenty fucking hours for Jasper’s big head to come out!”

“Wow that sounds way too much,” you laugh and Gemma nods with a tired, but clearly proud smile.

“Yeah, but it was worth it. Anyway, after my two boys, Izzy is the little princess of the family.”

“The boys get along well with her?” you ask as you both keep cleaning.

“They act like her big brothers, they get so protective over her!”

“That’s cute.”

“Yeah, they really are. My mom has this summer barbeque every year, if Harry doesn’t invite you with him then I’m doing it now, because you need to see how crazy out family gets,” she smirks at you. “All of our cousins and the kids are there, it’s a whole parade.”

“I’m sure it’s a lot of fun,” you smile at her. “One of my friends in high school had a really big family and they always invited me to birthdays at their place, I loved how lively and buzzing it was always.”

“Yeah, it’s nice to get together from time to time,” she nods smiling. “So do you have a boyfriend or something?” she asks then, implying that she is not even sure if you are playing on the team she is assuming.

“Oh, um, no. It’s just me for now. So no boyfriend for me.” Your answer, making sure it gives her the information she was trying to get as well.

“Are you done interrogating her, Gem?” Harry appears from upstairs, Izzy running ahead of him before smashing herself against Gemma’s legs.

“We’re just having a chat, is that a crime now?” she rolls her eyes. “Swear to God, he is such a control freak sometimes,” she then adds turning to you.

“Would you stop offending me in my own house?” Harry gives him a look. Gemma leans down and picks Izzy up into her arms.

“Izzy, you really should tell your dad to pull the stick out of his as—“

“You are not finishing that!” Harry cuts her off and you can’t push your laughter back. Harry’s eyes meet yours over Gemma’s shoulders and he realizes that you are still all dirty and messed up. “Y/N, go and take a shower if you want. We’ll take this over, alright?”

It wasn’t an order, but you feel like it was a very firm suggestion. He is clearly uncomfortable with you talking to Gemma and though you’re not sure why, you don’t want to upset him, so just nodding you drop the kitchen towel and head upstairs to clean yourself up.

“I hope you didn’t say anything to upset her,” Harry comments as he takes over the cleaning. Gemma grimaces.

“What could have I possibly said? I was just trying to get to know her!”

“You are always a little too up in my business, Gems,” he sighs.

“Daddy, can I watch some TV, please?” Izzy asks, tugging on his pants.

“Sure. Do you need me to switch it on?”

“No, I’m a big girl, I can do it,” Izzy nods before running off, leaving the siblings alone.

“Didn’t know Y/N was your business,” Gemma tilts her head to the side. Harry opens his mouth to defend himself, but nothing comes out. He was caught with this one. “Oh my God. I knew I walked in on something, you have a thing for her!” Gemma gasps with wide eyes.

“Stop with this! You and Niall are like some middle schoolers, it’s so fucking annoying!”

“So Niall sees it too, huh?”

“Niall is an idiot,” he points out. “He is… obsessed with this idea that I should start dating again and he thinks I should make a move on Y/N.”

“Well, he is an idiot, but he has a point.”

“No he doesn’t!” Harry argues, but Gemma just rolls her eyes.

“So you want to die alone? Is that your plan?”

Harry has always hated his sister’s bluntness. She never held herself back when it came to giving her opinion, whether it was wanted or not. But what Harry hates even more is that most of the time… Gemma is right.

He doesn’t want to die alone, no one wants that, but being with someone is a hard topic for Harry after losing the person he thought he would spend the rest of his life with. Even just the thought makes him feel like he is doing something bad, like he shouldn’t even be thinking about anyone but his wife, even years after the tragedy.

“Harry, look…” Gemma breathes out leaning against the counter next to her brother. “I know it’s a fucked up situation and I know things are still not in the right place in your head. But eventually you’ll have to move on. We all want to see you happy and I think that… I think Maggie would want that for you as well.”

Harry tries not to physically cringe at the name, the familiar pain is already clutching his heart, like it has been since the day of the accident. Some days are easier, some days are harder, but Gemma is right. Things are still not in the right place in his head and he knows that, he is just not sure how to fix it at this point.

“I’m not saying you should date Y/N, I’m not Niall to force anyone on you. I’m just telling you to try to get out a little more, just to test the waters. But you obviously like her so if it happens to be her, it wouldn’t be a big deal, if you ask me.”

Gemma shrugs and goes back to the cleaning while Harry keeps his swirling thoughts to himself. Two of the most important people have told him the same thing recently and though part of him wants to stubbornly go against it, his rational side knows that they might be right.

But not much can be done when a man is still blaming himself for the death of his own wife. Because that’s exactly the case when it comes to Harry and no one really knows that the thought has been haunting him for years now…

After taking a quick shower, washing your hair and changing into clothes that are not covered in flour, you join Harry and Gemma downstairs and insist on finishing the rest of the cleaning while they move out to the terrace to talk. The evening goes by peacefully, Harry decides to order dinner and Gemma joins the three of you at the dining table.

You love watching the dynamic between them and they truly seem to be very close. Gemma likes to embarrass Harry with stories from their childhood and you are enjoying them all a little too much maybe, but it’s nice to think that he wasn’t always this confident businessman.

“It was so good to meet you, Y/N!” Gemma hugs you goodbye after dinner.

“You too!”

“Bye Izzy, come and give a smooch for your favorite auntie!” Squatting down she lets Izzy wrap her arms around her neck as she kisses her cheek sloppily.

“Bye Gemma,” she singsongs. Harry pulls his sister into a hug as well before walking her out.

You start washing the dishes, Izzy talking to you about whatever show she was watching earlier on TV. When Harry returns he tells you to just leave the rest of the cleaning up for him while he bathes Izzy, but you don’t listen to him and finish up while they are upstairs.

Bringing your laptop down you settle on the couch and just start scrolling through social media, reading articles and whatnot, the TV quietly playing in the background. You send out an email regarding the wedding you are attending this weekend, making sure everything is in place.

When Harry emerges again he joins you on the couch with a tired sigh.

“Thanks for washing the dishes but you really should just leave it to me when I ask you to,” he smiles at you softly.

“It’s not a big deal, I like to be useful,” you chuckle shutting your laptop down.

“As if you’re not useful enough already,” he huffs smiling to himself. “Oh, before I forget, I wanted to talk to you about Izzy going to my mum’s.”

“Oh, yeah, you mentioned it earlier.”

“Yeah. So she is going to spend a week at my mother’s and I timed it to line up with Sarah and Mitch’s wedding. So I’ll leave her at my mum’s Sunday evening and pick her up the next Sunday which lines up perfectly with the wedding on Saturday. That week is obviously free for you as well, like a paid vacation,” he chuckles.

“Sounds good. How far does your mother lives from here?”

“Just a few hours, not that horrible of a drive. If you’re up for it, we can carpool to the wedding and then pick her up together right from there and head home.”

“Yeah, that works for me, thanks,” you nod.

Harry stays and turns his attention on the TV, seemingly pretty unbothered while you still haven’t stopped thinking about what happened in the kitchen earlier. Glancing over at Harry it appears that it’s not that big of a deal for him, so it makes you settle with the thought that it’s not one for you either.

“Good night, Harry,” you smile at him grabbing your laptop and phone as you rise from your seat.

“Nigh, Y/N,” he smiles as you round the couch and head upstairs, but you stop at the bottom of the stairs, lancing back at the mop of locks that’s visible from him from behind. You watch him run his fingers through his hair and you let out a shaky breath, knowing well you did not convince yourself that it was nothing. Not for you, at least.

Because you wanted him to kiss you.

The wedding you’re attending is held on a farm owned by the parents of the bride. The whole barn was transformed into this very country like fairytale location, lots of fairy lights and candles along with some nice, pastel colored flowers with a hint of purple between them.

Everything goes planned. Arriving you meet first with the groom and then with the bride in their separated rooms of the house, going over everything they want just one last time before you get down to work, snapping loads of pictures from them getting ready for the big day.

Emily, the bride is a chatty girl and all her bridesmaids are her sisters, coming from a big family with five daughters, she is the second oldest. The groom, Jesse is a few years older than Emily, but they are such a cute couple and they are clearly so madly in love, it’s always nice to see people be so happy with the right person.

You keep going back and forth between the groom and the bride and later you do the first look thing as well, when Jesse stands outside in the field and Emily walks up behind him, letting him see her for the first time. It really is always such a special moment and you tear up as well, watching Jesse fall speechless upon seeing his beautiful fiancé.

As the ceremony is about to start and the guests slowly take their seats on the two sides of the aisle, you make a quick trip down there to make sure you are using the right lenses, not wanting to change a lot when the ceremony has started. You stop in the corner, just trying out if you can shoot some pictures of the guests as well with the lens you are planning to use, you take a look around using the camera and that’s when you almost faint.

You would pick out that face from any, it has grown to you way too much, but you didn’t think you’d ever see him again. Lowering the camera you stare at the tall figure with parted lips, blinking a few times just to make sure it’s who you think it is.

But it is in fact your ex-fiancé, Keith, and to make it even worse, the woman standing next to him with his arm around her waist is the one he cheated on you with. They are still together and now you are staring right at them.

Tears sting your eyes as you try to look for a way to escape before he spots you, though you know he’ll see you sooner or later, but right now they are standing right at the entrance of the barn and you can’t avoid walking past them.

Keeping your head down you try to stay unnoticed as you march towards the exit, but you apparently, you are out of luck.

“Y/N? Is that you?” Keith calls after you just when you thought you were successful in sneaking out. Stopping in your tracks you seriously think about just running off, pretending like you didn’t even hear him, but it’s kind of too late and it would be ridiculous. So turning around on your heels, you plaster the fakest smile on your lips as you look at him.

“Keith, hi!” you breathe out, taking just a few steps closer to him, still keeping some distance between the two of you. Stella, the lucky woman on his arm blinks at you and at first you’re not even sure she realizes who you are or if she even knows you. The longer she looks at you the more certain you become that she indeed does not know that you’re the woman Keith cheated on with her. Nice.

Keith realizes that the two of you have been staring at each other awkwardly, so clearing his throat he quickly introduces the two of you to each other.

“Um, Y/N, this is Stella. Stella, this is… Y/N.”

You can tell he was thinking about using titles, but he decided to leave it at that, though it would have been a lot more interesting if he just titled the two of you.

Y/N, this is the woman I cheated on you with, who is my girlfriend now. Stella, this is Y/N, to whom I was engaged when I was fucking you!

You flash her a quick, not too honest smile and it seems like she is catching onto that something is not right, but she can’t tell for sure.

“What are you doing here?” Keith asks, a little harsher than you would have liked him to talk to you, but it’s kind of understandable. Seeing each other after what happened is not a pleasant experience for either of you, you assume. You hold up the camera as the answer for the stupid question and Keith furrows his eyebrows at you. “Oh, you still to the photography thingy?”

“Thingy?” you ask, quite offended. Keith always belittled your love for photography. He thought it was just a hobby, something that should stay just a hobby and not get turned into anything more. He once told you during a fight that it takes your time away from more important things, like doing chores. That was one of the most sexist things he has ever said to you and you should have packed your stuff right then and there. But you didn’t, stuck around for three more months before you found out about the cheating.

“Well, this thingy is kind of a side job for me,” you inform him.

“Oh. That sounds… fun,” he nods, but it’s clearer than daylight that he thinks it’s just a waste of time. Good thing he has no business in anything about you anymore.

“Um, I’m gonna go now, but I guess see you two around.” You shoot them another fake smile before turning around and walking away from this conversation straight from Hell.

Marching away from the barn you rush into the nearest bathroom you can find. You need a minute. Or maybe two… five. This did not just happen. You didn’t just face your cheating ex-fiancé with the woman he cheated on you, what kind of sick movie plot is this you found yourself in?

Placing your camera to the counter near the sink you wash your hands and sprinkle some water to your face as well before you lean to the edge of the sink, staring at your reflection in the mirror. You look like you’ve just seen a ghost and quite frankly, you would have been happier with the ghost than with Keith and Stella.

You’ve been doing alright since the breakup, but it’s obvious that only because you didn’t have to see Keith. Following the blowup when you found the explicit texts in his phone, you only had to face him twice and never since then. It’s easier to be okay when you don’t have to look at the person who hurt you most all the time, but coming face to face with him now really threw you off, especially with Stella on his arm. The fucker did not only cheat on you with her, but he went straight into a relationship with her and she probably doesn’t even know that she was just the sidechick in the beginning. If you were really evil, you’d go up to her and enlighten her about who you really are, but you are not one to cause a scene. Keith kept the two of you apart consciously, he never let you go into his office because he wanted Stella to think that he is a single man while he was engaged. Sickening to think how slyly he played the both of you and even after his little plan failed, he kept lying to the poor girl and lured her into a relationship. You wonder if he is already fucking another girl behind her back.

Your fingers start to turn white, gripping the edge of the sink tightly so you loosen up a bit, shaking your arms and shoulders off to pull yourself together. You fix your makeup and run your fingers through your hair quickly to give it some volume before grabbing the camera from the counter and heading out. However shocking it is to be at the same place as Keith again, you have a job to do right now and the bride and groom are expecting some amazing photos and that’s exactly what you’re gonna deliver.

You manage to busy yourself to the point where you are able to forget about Keith’s existence for most of the time. Following the happy couple around you don’t get too much free time, the camera is glued in front of your face basically and it brings you some peace. For a while.

Emily and Jesse disappear for an outfit change and it gives you a short break since they didn’t want that to be photographed, only when they return. So you get yourself a virgin cocktail from the bar and head outside to get some fresh air. You text back Heather and Trevor and then just scroll through Instagram, enjoying some alone time from the buzzing you’ve been around all day.

“Y/N!”

Turning to your right you spot Keith walking towards you, this time alone, but it doesn’t stop you from rolling your eyes.

“What do you want?” you mumble under your breath.

“Just… though we could chat for a little. It’s been a long time.”

“Not enough,” you retort. “And I would like to skip the chatting.”

“Come on, you can’t be still that mad at me,” he chuckles and you almost punch him in the face right then and there.

“Well I am. So go back to your little girlfriend and leave me alone.”

“I know things didn’t end too well, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be civil towards each other.” You can’t help the laughter that bubbles from your throat. He can’t be serious, trying to act like the bigger person now after everything he has done to you. This has got to be a joke.

“This is me being civil, because I’m not throwing anything at you. So leave me the fuck alone, let me do my job and then we hopefully don’t see each other again.”

“Come on. You don’t miss me, baby?” he smirks at you, completely ignoring what you just told him. You physically cringe at the pet name he just called you and you take a step away from him, needing the distance more than ever.

“I don’t. Now leave.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Too fucking bad. Now leave!” you raise your voice, but it does nothing. He is still standing there, looking at you like he didn’t completely destroy you just about a year ago.

“Heard that you haven’t dated anyone since we broke up.”

“Are you asking around after me?” you scowl.

“We have a few mutual friends,” he shrugs. “Is it because you still want me?”

“My dating life is none of your business, Keith. And I don’t want you. Quite frankly, I don’t even know how I could ever want you, so now please let me enjoy my break and leave me alone.”

“Y/N, I just—“ Keith reaches for your hand, but you pull back before he could touch you, holding up a finger at him you start talking slowly and very clearly so the message goes through.

“Don’t ever fucking touch me or talk to me. I want nothing to do with you, you’re a manipulating, cheating, egoistic asshole who ruins the life of others. I’m telling you this for the last time, Keith: leave me the fuck alone.”

He looks a bit stunned at your harsh response, but you couldn’t care less if you’ve hurt him. He did way worse things to you than snapping at you. As you walk past him to head back into the barn, he doesn’t let the chance to punch you in the stomach with his words one last time.

“I wish I could say you were a good fuck, but that wouldn’t be true. Good luck finding some lowlife loser who would even think about marrying you!”

Every fiber in your body is screaming to launch yourself at him and punch him until he is unconscious, because that’s exactly what he deserves. The tears are already stinging your eyes, but you don’t give him the satisfaction to see you react to his words. So swallowing hard you just keep on walking until you are out of his sight, bottling up the sobs and tears for the time when you’re home and on your own.

It’s past two am when you arrive home, drained and exhausted, both emotionally and exhausted. Following the conversation you had wit Keith he didn’t try to talk to you anymore, but you could always feel his eyes on you, wherever you were, as if he wanted to see if you are watching him too, but you weren’t. Looking at him would have been too painful so you tried your best to keep your eyes away from him through the night.

You know damn well that what he told you when you were leaving was just to get a reaction out of you, to get you upset enough to start a fight with him, it’s just who he is, he enjoys having the last word and the higher ground in every situation, but you didn’t want to be his partner in his stupid games this time. However it still hurt, what he said.

Walking into the dead silent house you kick your shoes off, drop your keys into the little bowl next to the door and head to the kitchen to get yourself some water. Pouring yourself a glass you lean against the counter and as you stare ahead of you, nothing can stop the tears from falling.

Everything you kept bottled up during the afternoon and evening just hits you all at once, making you break down heavier than any time in the past months. You sob and cry, letting it all out until your head feels like exploding, but you still can’t stop. You were not ready to face the man that broke your heart like no one before.

In the middle of your breakdown you don’t even realize the footsteps coming from the stairs.

“Y/N?” Harry’s voice calls out, snapping you out of your pity party. He immediately sees that you’ve been crying like a baby, no doubt, but you still try to wipe your cheeks and eyes, pretending like everything is totally fine.

“Harry! What are you doing up so late?” you breathe out hoarsely.

“Just wanted to get some water, but have you been crying? What happened, are you alright?” he starts bombarding you with questions, clearly worried about you, seeing you in this state.

“Everything is fine, I just… had a rough night,” you chuckle through your tears that are still rolling down your cheeks, those bastards!

“A rough night doesn’t make you sob like this. What happened?” Rounding the kitchen island he stops in front of you, not sure how to approach the situation, but it’s kind of sweet how he wants to help, but doesn’t know how.

“I, uhh—I met my… ex-fiancé tonight. He was at the wedding I worked at,” you mumble shutting your eyes closed.

“Did he hurt you? Y/N, if he laid a hand on you, I swear—“ “No, he didn’t hurt me,” you shake your head before adding: “Well, not physically.”

“Come on, let’s sit down for a bit.” He gently takes your hand and pulls you to the couch in the living room, making you sit before he plops down next to you. “Tell me what happened.”

“It’s really stupid, I shouldn’t be this upset about it, but I just… It hurt and I can’t change it,” you whine, wiping some more tears away.

“I’m sure it’s not stupid. Tell me what happened!”

“He was there with the woman he cheated on me with. They are basically a couple now, but she doesn’t even know that Keith was engaged to me when they started dating, so it’s really fucked up. And it wouldn’t have been that big of a deal, because, you know, fuck him, he can do whatever he wants, it’s not my business anymore, but then he came up to me and tried to chitchat with me, which I didn’t really want, of course.”

Harry listens carefully, giving you his undivided attention while you fumble with the hem of your shirt, kind of avoiding to look him in the eyes. Part of you is afraid you’d see judgment in them and you don’t think you would be able to handle that.

“I asked him to leave me alone, but he just kept talking and then I snapped at him a little harsher and when I was walking away he…”

You scowl again, hearing his words play in your head so clearly, as if he was standing behind you, repeating them to you. Harry reaches out and he gently covers your hand with his warm palm, giving it a gentle squeeze, letting you know that he is patiently waiting, not rushing you to talk. Taking a deep breath you blink your tears away before continuing.

“He basically said that I wasn’t even a good fuck and no man will want to marry me.”

“Jesus fuck, what kind of asshole did you date, Y/N?” Harry snaps in horror and it’s kinda funny, makes you laugh through your tears.

“Seems like the worst kind,” you mumble with a bitter chuckle. “I know I shouldn’t have let his words get to my head, but… it’s easier said than done. I feel like such a loser,” you breathe out, your lips trembling as the tears are threatening to flow again.

“Don’t blame yourself for having feelings, it’s completely normal. Of course his words hurt, he once meant a lot to you and he probably knows that too, that’s why he tried to use it against you. What he said held no truth.”

“You think so?” you ask, voice barely more than just a whisper as you finally look at him. His green irises appear so warm as he smiles at you, squeezing your hand again. He scoots a little closer, his knee bumping against the side of your thigh.

“Y/N, I know so,” he chuckles. “That guy was a proper idiot for what he did to you. You didn’t deserve any of that and any many would be lucky to have you as their wife.”

“Really?” you pout, feeling so touched and loved from his words. It’s exactly the reassurance you needed.

“Absolutely,” he nods smiling sweetly.

Everything that happened today messed with your head big time. And now sitting with Harry on the couch, listening to him telling you how worthy you are of love and happiness, it completely throws you off. Ever since that moment in the kitchen before Gemma walked in, you’ve been nonstop thinking about what would have happened and it made you notice even the tiniest things about him.

Harry Styles is a man who is clearly a sight for the eyes, with his chiseled jawline, pink lips and gorgeous green eyes, the duality of his powerful and business appropriate attires he wears during the day and the tattoos hidden under his dress shirts, you’d have to be blind to say that he is not an attractive man. But on top of everything on the outside, he is a wonderful person on the inside and it twists your head more than you’d like it.

Your brain switches off for a moment, or just the rational side, but you completely stop thinking as you stare at each other. The intimacy and emotionality of the moment pushes all your common sense to the side as your gaze wanders down his lips.

The thought of kissing him comes fast and before you could even stop yourself, you move forward and press your lips to his. The touch of his lips against yours is sweet and warm and kind of intoxicating, but in just a blink of the eye your rationality gets a grip of you and your eyes pop open in realization of what you just did. Pulling back you gasp and cover your mouth in shock, feeling your whole inside trembling at the thought of getting yourself fired by this move.

Harry seems frozen and quite shocked as well, his lips are parted as he stays still in his spot.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry, I-I don’t know what’s gotten into me! Harry, I’m sorry, I promise—“

You start rambling in panic, but you don’t get to finish. Harry moves forward, his hand coming to the back of your head as he pulls you in for another kiss, this time making it a lot more passionate and even your tongues get involved. He is kissing you hard and you almost moan into his mouth when you feel his other hand come to your thigh, squeezing it just enough to send a shockwave up your spine. Your hands come up to the back of his hair and you hold onto him for dear life, carrying the kiss on like you’re two teenagers in your parents’ basement, doomed to get caught any moment. Harry goes in again and again, tugging on your bottom lip, licking into your mouth and making your insides twist just from having his lips on yours.

And then you both let go of each other, needing some time to breathe and you slowly realize what just happened. You both stare at each other in disbelief, completely shocked at your own actions, but neither of you have any idea what should happen next.

You let go of each other, sitting back to your normal positions, awkwardly breathing heavily and you realize you cannot deal with this right now. You are way too drained and tired to make it make sense so you decide to just… call it a night.

“I’ll head to bed,” you quietly inform him as you stand up from the couch, walking like a zombie, the shock still clouding your judgment.

“Good night,” Harry mumbles, just as confused as you are.

“Good night,” you nod and basically sprint up the stairs and don’t stop until you shut your door behind you.

Leaning your back against it, you slide down to the floor, hugging your knees to your chest as you stare into the darkness for long minutes. Quite some time passes by before you hear Harry walk upstairs, his door opens and then closes before silence falls on the house again. With a blank mind, you push yourself up, take a quick shower and just go to bed, ignoring everything that has happened today. You’ll deal with it in the morning.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

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khaleesiofalicante · 4 years ago

Text

ALEC WEEK - PARABATAI DAY

“I made eggs!”

Alec looked up to see Jace standing in front of the stove, making sandwiches with eggs and ham.

He didn’t even know they had ham. But that’s mostly because he avoided the kitchen like the plague, thanks to Isabelle.

“You look tired,” Jace pointed out.

For a 13-year-old, he was annoyingly perceptive.

“Didn’t sleep well,” Alec yawned as he sat down on the counter.

“Nightmares?” Jace asked, suddenly looking concerned.

Alec didn’t have nightmares. But it made him sad to wonder why it had been Jace’s first thought.

Did Jace have nightmares? What were they about? What did he do when he had them? How did he cope?

See! This is exactly the kind of stuff parabatai should know about each other!

“Listen,” Alec said. “I want to talk to you about something.”

“What’s up?” Jace asked, now focused on frying the bacon.

“It’s about what you said last night,” Alec said carefully.

“Oh,” Jace looked pleased. “Well, I’m glad you want to talk more about it. Did you know more than 30 different waterfowl species live in New York? We are practically living in a hell dimension!”

“Uh,” Alec said. “It’s not about the ducks.”

“Huh,” Jace looked disappointed. “What is it about then?”

“Do you not remember what you asked me last night?” Alec asked, suddenly worried.

Was it a joke? Or maybe Jace didn’t really mean it? Has Alec been overthinking this whole thing?

“Are you talking about the parabatai thing?” Jace inquired.

Alec nodded.

“What about it?” Jace asked and suddenly his eyes sparkled. “Ohhh do you wanna discuss where we should get our parabatai runes?”

“Actually,” Alec said. “I’ve been thinking it over.”

“Why?” Jace’s eyes narrowed. “You agreed last night.”

“I know,” Alec looked away.

“Alec,” Jace almost whispered. “Do you not…Do you not want to be my parabatai?”

“It’s just that...I don’t w-”

“I get it,” Jace interrupted and flopped an omelet on Alec’s plate. “You changed your mind. That’s okay.”

“Jace, I just-”

“It’s fine!” Jace shrugged and turned around.

Alec saw him gripping the frying pan a little too tightly. He wasn’t wearing any mittens.

“You’ll hurt yourself!” Alec rushed to him.

Jace removed his hand and it looked red – but it wasn’t burnt.

Alec quickly removed his stele from his pocket and drew an iratze on Jace’s hand.

“There,” he said.

That seemed easy. The need to protect Jace was...almost instinctual. And there weren't even parabatai yet.

Everyone made it sound like it was a big deal. But it seemed so simple to Alec.

“Why do you not want to be my parabatai?” Jace demanded suddenly.

“I…” Alec faltered. “People…People might talk.”

What if they saw him watching Jace train? What if they saw Alec stealing glances? What if they punished Alec? Or worse, what if they punish Jace?

If someone ever found out about Alec…About he was and who he liked…They might start spreading nasty rumors about the two of them.

Alec had seen it happen before. He didn’t want it to happen to them. He felt like his family has been through enough.

Being Alec’s parabatai seemed like an unnecessary baggage. Jace had enough baggage.

“Oh,” Jace said. “Oh.”

“I’m sorry,” Alec said, not knowing what else to say.

“It’s-It’s okay,” Jace replied. “I understand.”

“You do?” Alec asked, his stomach clenching.

Did he? Did he know?

“Of course people would talk,” Jace said. “Why would you want to be the parabatai of someone damaged like me?”

“What?” Alec blinked.

“I watched my own father die,” Jace said quietly. “I never knew my mom. I didn’t have any friends until I came here. I’m a weirdo. People might say things about you if chose to be my parabatai.”

“People are stupid,” Alec said without hesitation. “You’re not damaged.”

Jace was quiet. It was a little unsettling.

“I mean sure you’re a little weird,” Alec chuckled. “You do talk awful lot about ducks and-”

“They are a real threat!” Jace argued.

“I’m serious,” Alec said. “Yeah, you’ve been through a lot. Maybe that’s exactly why you need a parabatai. So, you’ll have someone to take care of you.”

“I don’t need anyone to take care of me,” Jace almost snapped, but his tone came out petulant and worried.

Like it should be.

There. There he was.

“Your bacon is burning,” Alec pointed out with a grin.

Jace muttered a curse and turned the stove off.

“See,” Alec pointed out. “I told you.”

“Sure, that’s why I need a parabatai,” Jace rolled his golden eyes. “To save my bacon.”

“And to save you from other stuff,” Alec pointed out gently.

“I don’t need to be saved,” Jace crossed his arms adamantly.

“Then why do you want a parabatai?” Alec asked.

Jace looked surprised. As if he hadn’t expected anyone to ask him that.

“I don’t know,” Jace said.

“Well, if you don’t know why then maybe you shouldn’t have one,” Alec said.

“Why do you want one?” Jace demanded.

Alec thought for a while.

Not about why he wanted one. He knew why he did.

Alec knew his future. He knew what awaited him. He might never find love. He might never get married.

But a parabatai… he still had a chance. He still had a shot at forming a bond that might last forever. He still had a chance to experience some kind of love, even if it was only from his parabatai.

But he couldn’t tell Jace that of course.

“It’s nice to be chosen,” Alec said, which wasn’t completely untrue.

Jace frowned.

Alec waited. Patiently.

If he was going to be Jace’s parabatai, he felt like he had to get used to it.

“The Codex said parabatai bonds are eternal,” Jace said quietly. “I want a bond like that. People keep leaving me. I want someone who will stay.”

Alec’s heart broke. He had thought that he was the only teenager with insecurities. But apparently, he was wrong. It made him worry about Jace – who seemed fragile underneath all the confidence. He wondered if Izzy was like that too.

He had thought of Jace as the sun. Bright and beautiful and always shining.

But Alec had forgotten that while it was rare, solar eclipses still did exist. Sometimes even the sun got blocked out too.

“Hey,” he said gently. “Hey.”

Jace looked up reluctantly.

“Entreat me not to leave thee,” Alec smiled.

Jace blinked.

“Entreat me not to leave thee,” Alec repeated.

“Don’t leave me,” Jace said, his voice barely a whisper.

“Okay,” Alec smiled.

Jace pulled him into a hug, burnt bacon and breakfast all forgotten.

“But what about you?” Jace asked, pulling back suddenly. “You said people will talk. What did you mean?”

Alec hesitated.

He could tell Jace. After all, he was his parabatai. Or he was going to be.

Alec didn’t understand the point of having a parabatai if you couldn’t be honest with them.

But his need to hide was more persistant than his need to be honest.

He could tell Jace. But what if Jace was disgusted?

Worse, what if Jace stopped talking to him.

Imagine being promised that they will love you for the rest of your life and then one day they suddenly abandon you? Just liked that? Because you wanted to be honest? You wanted to be free?

Alec couldn’t think of anything worse than that. He hoped it would never happen to any parabatai ever.

“Just stuff,” Alec said instead. “People might say you’re better than me.”

It wasn’t completely untrue either.

“People are stupid,” Jace repeated Alec’s own words. “Besides, I wouldn’t have asked you to be my parabatai if I didn’t think you were amazing.”

“You think I’m amazing?” Alec asked, surprised.

“And then some,” Jace grinned.

Alec grinned back.

“The bond is between you and me,” Jace said. “Let’s not let anyone get in between, okay?”

“Okay,” Alec promised. “No other people.”

“Or ducks,” Jace added.

“Or ducks,” Alec giggled.

“Are you okay now?” Jace asked.

“Yeah,” Alec nodded. “Sorry about all the drama. I talked to Izzy last night and she wasn’t very helpful.”

Jace laughed. “Izzy doesn’t believe in parabatai bonds. She is the last person you should have talked to!”

“I know that now,” Alec rolled his eyes.

Jace put the pan back on the stove. “What did she say?”

Alec hesitated, but decided to be honest. He had to start somewhere, right? “She said parabatai bonds are gay.”

Jace laughed harder.

Alec didn’t know Jace knew that word. Or Izzy.

It was like curse words. No one said it in front of children but the kids seemed to know it anyway. Alec didn’t see the point in not using them.

“Yeah, she went on about how they are too intense and soulmate-y nd weird and gay,” Alec said, laughing nervously.

“Izzy is hilarious,” Jace said simply.

“You know,” Alec tried to sound nonchalant. “Other people might say it too. Say it’s gay.”

“So what??” Jace asked munching on bacon. “Maybe all good things are a little gay.”

Alec laughed then. And he knew he wouldn’t stop – not as long as Jace was there by his side.

This one is for @beclynn-herondale - happiest of birthdays to this beautiful, fierce and talented *insert a vegetable of choice*

#alec lightwood #jace herondale #parabatai #alec week #malec month #tsc #dani writes stuff

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storiesforallfandoms · 4 years ago

Text

fatherhood ~ zac efron

word count: 1519

request?: yes!

@kellysimagines “Can you make one where the reader and zac have been together for 13 years (since Hairspray) and the reader is a youtuber and they have a daughter who is 8 months old and the reader asks him questiones about him being a dad and stuff with the baby with us and we also answer fab questions on how we keep our relationship so good after so many years and stuff? :)”

description: in which they decide to do a q&a about their relationship and parenthood

pairing: zac efron x female!reader

warnings: swearing

masterlist

“Wanna go to mama?” Zac asked as he held our eight month old towards me. She thought for a moment before pulling away, cuddling close to her father.

“I’ll remember this,” I told her, playfully narrowing my eyes at her.

I adjusted my camera to make sure it was perfect one last time before finally hitting the record button.

“Hey everyone!” I greeted the camera. “It’s (Y/N) and, back by popular demand, we have Zac!”

Zac smiled and waved at the camera. “Hey everyone.”

“And today we are also joined by the most adorable girl in the whole world, Dani Efron.” I looked over to see Dani was more interested in her socks than the filming. “You guys have been asking for a Q&A with Zac and I about parenthood, so I decided it was time to give you what you’ve been asking for.”

Dani squealed to herself before reaching for one of her toys on the floor. Zac bent over to pick it up and pass it to her. She smiled excitedly and began to play with it.

“I asked you guys to tweet me your questions regarding Dani, the pregnancy, the birth - but nothing too r rated - and about myself and Zac. I picked a couple, and now here we go,” I continued to explain.

I picked up my phone and opened the first question. “Okay, question number one says, Pretty cliché question here, but what was your guys’ first reactions when (Y/N) found out she was pregnant?”

“Shock,” Zac answered first. He began to laugh once he said it. “I know that’s also cliché, but it’s the truth. You told me you were pregnant and I remember just like...not knowing what to do.”

“I really wish I filmed your reaction now, but I was afraid it wouldn’t go well,” I admitted.

Zac and I had been together for nearly 13 years when I found out I was pregnant. Neither one of us had talked about marriage and kids seriously at the time, we were both comfortable with where we were in the relationship. We had talked about eventually wanting kids, but we were both still young and still focused on our careers.

I took a pregnancy test shortly after the second period I missed. When it came back positive, I went to the doctor to make sure and sure enough, it came back positive as well. I was so scared to tell Zac because I wasn’t sure what his reaction would be. I didn’t think he’d be mad, but what if he wasn’t ready? Was I even ready?

He was shocked, as he had said. At first I thought he was going to pass out. I didn’t think he was even breathing. The longer it took for him to respond, the more anxious I got. When he finally spoke, my heart began to flutter.

“Holy fuck, I’m gonna be a dad!”

He had lifted me into his arms and held me tightly, happy tears running down his face. I kissed him for so long after that, and we were just happy.

“I was pretty shocked as well, but I had an idea that I was because I had missed two periods,” I responded. “I had myself convinced it was like a medial reason, though. I was so sure I wasn’t pregnant.”

“I suppose it was about time for us to have a kid, we have been together for years.”

Dani threw her toy onto the floor and immediately exclaimed. Zac chuckled and placed her on the floor, letting her crawl around after her toys.

“The next question is, What was it like being pregnant?”

“That’s a question for you,” Zac laughed.

“I’m aware,” I said and playfully stuck my tongue out at him. “At first it was basically just like having a persistent stomach bug, but once Dani actually started growing it felt...just weird. It was like this constant reminder that there was something inside of me growing. And when she’d start to move and was like...baby size if not getting to be baby size, it was this weird realization that she was actually there. That she actually existed. It was all just this weird sensation in general.”

“You went through so much while you were pregnant,” Zac admitted. “I will never be able to say I’m tough ever again cause I am no way tougher than what you went through.”

I couldn’t help but blush at this. I had been hearing this praise for over a year, but I would never get tired of hearing the compliments.

“Ah, I expected this one,” I said as I looked at the next question on my phone. “Is marriage next for you guys?”

I looked over at Zac. I quickly took in his appearance to make sure I wasn’t about to get a surprise engagement. I loved Zac, and of course I’d say yes, but I wasn’t ready to be proposed to while filming a video.

Noticing my look, Zac merely chuckled and wrapped an arm around my shoulder. “I’m not gonna propose right now. When I do it, it’s going to be private and intimate. No one will even know it’ll have happened until after we’re married.”

I couldn’t help but smile brightly at his response. “I like that idea.”

Zac held his hand out towards my phone. “Let me pick the next question.”

I passed it to him and he scrolled through the list of questions I had saved. “Oh, I like this one: Did you guys have any other names picked out for Dani? What were they?”

“Well, we decided not to find out her gender until after she was born,” I explained, “so we had many almost names picked out for her.”

“I was adamant on Josh, just because I liked that name a lot,” Zac said. “And Theodor, I thought that was a cute and proper name.”

“I vetoed Theodor because the last thing we needed was people making jokes about us naming our kid Ted, for obvious reasons,” I said, playfully nudging Zac. “I tried to convince him to choose Troy instead.”

“I vetoed that one immediately.”

“As for girls, the only other name we had besides Danielle was Isabelle, but that’s because I’m obsessed with the Mortal Instruments series and Izzy is my favorite character. When she was born, though, we just knew she was a Dani.”

At the sound of her name, Dani looked up at us from the floor as she sucked on her toy. I couldn’t help but smile at my baby girl before quickly sweeping her up in my arms and placing kisses all over her face. She squealed in response, but I could hear the giggles in between them.

Dani stayed up in my arms through the next few questions before getting bored and wanting to play on the floor again. Zac and I decided to wrap it up after one last question.

“I think we’ll leave that there,” I said into the camera. “Thank you guys so much for watching. If you liked this video, give it a thumbs up and maybe I’ll do another Q&A some time in the future. Hit the subscribe button if you haven’t already, and if you have make sure you turn on notifications so you know every time I post. See you guys next week!”

I covered the camera with my hand before turning it off, my usual outro. Once I had the camera off, Zac stood from his chair and stretched his arms out.

“I don’t know how you film these videos,” he commented. “My body feels so cramped up right now.”

“I think I’ve just gotten used to it,” I responded as I stretched my legs out.

Zac picked Dani up in his arms and began to playfully rock her. “I got to talk about my favorite girl, so I’d have to say the cramped up body is definitely well worth it.”

Dani smiled, her single tooth slightly visible from behind her little lips. Zac kissed her cheek as he walked around our house with her, Dani more than content with being in her father’s arms.

I couldn’t help but smile to myself at my little family. I loved Zac more than words could ever say, and I didn’t think that love could get any stronger until the day I saw him holding our beautiful baby girl for the first time. He had been there for me through the entire pregnancy, and had been such a great father towards Dani. I couldn’t have asked for a better life partner than him.

Noticing my starring, Zac raised an eyebrow at me. “What?”

“Nothing,” I responded with a shrug. “I love you is all.”

He smiled back at me and responded, “I love you, too.” In a higher pitched voice, he moved Dani in front of his face and added, “And I love you, too, mommy.”

I giggled before standing from my chair. I walked over to the two and kissed Dani’s chubby cheeks before kissing Zac more sweetly on the lips.

#zac efron #zac efron imagines #zac efron x reader #imagine #one shot #request #fanfic #fanfiction

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angstysebfan · 4 years ago

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Okay I think I'm gonna hurt my own heart with this but hey, it's angst. Could you please write something where reader and Bucky are married, have a child or children and still work as Avengers. Maybe one day reader is sent to go on a mission and Bucky stays home on dad duty. Reader's mission goes badly and she doesn't make it home, leaving him all alone 😭.

(I may request an alternative ending to this because I'm a soft bean).

Oookay can I change up my second request that I sent, please (I've decided my heart can't handle the horrible ending I suggested 😂. Yes I'm a wuss). So mission still goes awry and they think reader is dead because they don't find her body. So Bucky is still told horrible news that she is dead. Maybe a month later he gets a call from a hospital that says they have her and have finally identified who she is and she's okay. (2/2)

Lol!! I understand not wanting the angsty ending. I might write angst, but I hate writing angsty endings... lmao! Hope you like this. WARNING: MENTIONS OF BLOOD AND INJURIES.

Be Careful

Bucky kissed you passionately, not wanting to let you go. You pull back and give him a smile, “I’ll be home before you know it. Take care of our little bean while his mommy kicks some ass,” you say as you walk backwards away.

“I will. Be careful. I love you, Doll,” Buck says with a smile.

You blow him a kiss before you climb the ramp to the quinjet before going on a solo mission. You turn back and look at your husband, “I love you more!” you shout before entering the quinjet.

Bucky watches as the quinjet lifts off and flies you away, until you are finally out of sight. He turns and goes back into the compound and into your shared apartment, where your 8 month old son is blissfully asleep in his crib. Bucky quickly checks on him before going back out into the common room, knowing FRIDAY will let him know if the baby wakes up.

It’s been several hours and there has been no word from you, and Bucky was starting to get nervous. You were supposed to check in an hour ago, but Steve told him to not panic. Bucky tried to distract himself with caring for your son. He fed him, played with him a little bit, gave him a bath and put him to bed. He hoped you would have been home before he went to bed, but there was still no word.

Bucky sat in bed, thinking about what could have happened. He tried to think about how something had gone wrong, and you had to find a safehouse, and it was taking a little longer. He knew something was wrong, but when Steve knocked on the door, and Bucky saw his face, he knew it was worse than he could imagine.

Wanda came to watch the baby, while Bucky went with Steve, Sam, and Nat to the location where they lost signal from you. When they landed outside of the abandoned HYDRA base, they search and eventually find your empty quinjet about a half mile away.

Bucky ran over to it, calling for you in desperation. It was dark, but with the lights on the quinjet, the team was horrified to not only not find you, but see a lot of blood around the inside quinjet. Bucky thought he was either going to throw up or pass out. Nat seeing his reaction, pulled Bucky out of the quinjet so he can breath some fresh air.

Sam looked at Steve sadly, “This is a lot of blood, Steve. If this is hers, there is no way Y/N is...” Sam couldn’t bare to finish his sentence. Steve took a sample with a piece equipment Tony and Bruce created, which showed that the blood did indeed belong to you. He sighs defeatedly and looks out of the quinjet where Nat was holding a sobbing Bucky.

He walks out and looks at Nat, “Take him back to the compound and have Tony and yourself come back when the sun is up. Sam and I are going to continue to search the area,” he says.

Bucky pulls away from Nat, “I’m not leaving. I am finding my wife,” he says.

“Buck, you have to go back to the compound and take care of your son. You aren’t emotionally able to handle this mission. If the roles were reversed you would say the same to me,” Steve said, putting a hand on Bucky’s shoulder.

Bucky choked on a sob, but nodded, knowing Steve was right. Nat pulled Bucky to the other quinjet and set off toward the compound. Bucky was silent the whole ride, praying to whatever god there was that you were still alive. He knew he was going to make whoever hurt you pay no matter what, but he needed you to be alive.

The next day Wanda stayed with Bucky to help with his son, as she knew Bucky was distracted waiting to hear back from the team. When he saw the quinjet land he ran out, hoping that they found you. Steve walked out and looked devastated and like he was crying. Bucky took a deep breath as Steve walked up to him, “Buck...”

Bucky nodded, knowing you were dead. “I’m sorry. We couldn’t even recover her body,” Steve said, fighting back tears.

Bucky took a deep breath, wiping the tears that threatened to fall. He looked behind Steve and saw the rest of the team crying, all feeling the devastation of losing their friend. Bucky took a deep breath as Wanda brought his son out to him, knowing Bucky needed him.

Bucky looked at his hansom son, who looks just like you, with Bucky’s eyes. How was ever going to be able to explain to him how he failed to keep his mother safe? How would he explain how amazing his mother was and how much she loved him, and Bucky let her go out alone and get herself killed?

He forced himself to swallow the sob that threatened to come out when looking at his son and grabbed him from Wanda and held him close. After a few moments and walked away from team, not able to handle seeing them distraught. He went to his apartment and sat on the couch with his son in his arms. He looked at the big smile on his sons face and let the sob out.

“I’m so sorry,” he cried.

After a funeral a few days later, Bucky was benched from missions, though he was pretty sure he was going to retire now anyway. He didn’t want to make his son an orphan, plus he was in no mood to go out and save the world. He tried to act normal for his son, but every night he cried himself to sleep while he held your pillow, which still smelled like you.

He constantly apologized to you for letting you get hurt and killed. He had made a vow to protect you and he failed. He would never forgive himself for that. He knew his son would never forgive him either once he was old enough to understand. The team tried to be there, especially Steve, but Bucky was pushing everyone away. They all understood, but was worried about him.

It’s been a month and Bucky was not doing well. Nat stepped in and started taking care of the baby. Bucky fell into a deeper depression then he thought possible, and finally asked for help to take care of his son. He felt he didn’t deserve to have his son. Steve had never been so worried for his friend and didn’t know what to do.

Tony and Sam took lead in looking for the people who did this, and went on a mission to another HYDRA base. Once they entered the facility they went to find files to see if they could get information, but what they found surprised them even more.

Bucky was lying in bed, looking at the ceiling. This was life for him recently, and he was ok with it, since he obviously deserved it. Your death, he concluded, was punishment for his transgressions as the Winter Soldier. He did start to take better care of his son, but still required a lot of help.

While lying there, Steve came in, not bothering to knock. He rushed over to Bucky. “Buck, there is news,” Steve said urgently.

Bucky let out a sigh, “I thought revenge was what I wanted, but I don’t have the energy to find them and kill them. It won’t bring her back,” Bucky said sadly.

“No, Buck... Tony and Sam... they... they found her,” Steve said.

Bucky sat up and looked at his friend, “You mean they found her body?” he asked, hoping that’s not what he meant.

Steve shook his head, “She is alive, Pal. She is down in med bay, and she is alive, awake, and asking for you.”

Bucky was never up and out of bed faster, running out of the room and toward the elevator to get down there. He had to see it for himself. Once he got down to med bay he ran down the hall to where Tony was standing.

“Woah Barnes, you have to stop and take a deep breath before you go in. She needs to remain calm, you got it?” Tony said quietly.

Bucky nodded and slowly walked in and saw you lying in the bed, bruised, bloody, but alive. He thought his heart was going to burst out of his chest. “Y/N?” he asked, still not believing his eyes.

You looked at him and immediately relaxed, “Bucky,” you said in a raspy voice.

Bucky walked over to your bed and grabbed your outstretched hand. “Baby? Is... is it really you?” he asked.

You let a watery laugh escape, “It’s me baby. I’m sorry I’m late,” you said.

You pull Bucky into a hug and you both cried into each others shoulder. Wanda brought your son into the room, and you both held him and each other tightly. Bucky swore nothing and no one would ever take you away from him again. You were home, safe, and alive. He was going to make sure you always were.

Oh i loved this one! Thank you for requesting it! Hope you liked it!

Permanent Taglist: @hailmary-yramliah @tuiccim @comedictragedy @cap-n-stuff @thefridgeismybestie @aleaisntcreative @lookiamtrying @pinknerdpanda @morganclaire4 @iamvalentinaconstanza @verygraphicink @im-squished @joannie95 @peace-love-hobbitness @connie326 @arundhati1609 @amandamdiehl @harrysthiccthighss @its-izzys @roserose26 @rebekahdawkins @elegantobservationstudentsblog @broco8 @bestofbucky @white-wolf1940 @loser-alert @jassy2101

#Bucky Barnes #james buchanan barnes #james bucky barnes #Bucky angst #bucky fanfic #bucky x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky x you #bucky barnes x reader

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beclynn-herondale · 4 years ago

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jace + taking care of baby son alone for the first time please!!

Thank you, I love writing dad Jace

This is long but worth it

"well buddy it's just me and you, mommy took your sisters to the store," Jace said to his 6 month old son. And he smiled at Jace, that sweet innocent smile that babies and kids have, the smile of them not yet knowing the hardships of life, Jace and Clary swore they would give their kids the best life they could and they would make it easier for them.

And one of Jace's favorite thing about being a dad is his kids smile at him with the smile of knowing exactly who he is, He's dada

Jace read many books about pregnancy when Clary was pregnant with their first baby and he knew Clary would get super emotional but so did he.

He let his son grap his finger and swing it around like babies do, it's funny how at one point in your life all you want is constant fighting and being a hero and then after all that all you wanted was a family and once you have that family there really isn't anything more important.

Clary and the kids were Jace's world now and they are a world he would protect and love until dies.

"you know I love you right bud," Jace said. Stephen squealed and blew raspberries at Jace "I'll take that as a yes," Jace said with the loving and gentle smile he had for the ones he loved, he kissed his son on the cheek

Jace stuck his tongue out at him, and Stephen giggled, Jace started laughing as well, this is why being a parent made him feel so fulfilled, those laughs your kids gave you when you were being silly

The way they trusted you and loved you without a second thought and in return you give them love and take care of them and make sure they know their trust is safe with you, Jace wouldn't be anything less to his kids, he would always make sure they knew he loved and supported them no matter what, and that they can always trust him.

"listen chickpea, you need to stop being so cute and getting bigger, I want to snuggle you forever," Jace told his son while tearing up cause Stephen was already six months and he doesn't know how it's already been six months since he came into the world and they added another precious light to their life.

When Jace and Clary found out they were having another kid they were both overjoyed, Jace got Clary to agree to a big family, after they had their first kid and Celine started getting bigger, Clary came to Jace with tears saying 'she's getting so big it's not fair' at first Jace thought Clary was hurting and his instincts were to take her into his arms but then he found why and he started crying 'i know it seems like yesterday she was a newborn'

And then they met Eleanora who's parents had been killed on a mission and they took her in, Jace and Clary made sure she knew that she was just as much their daughter as Celine was, Jace having an adopted family himself didn't hesitate taking her in, and then a year later Clary found out she was pregnant with their son

And now Jace was here married with the most amazing and beautiful wife he could ever ask for, who is also the best mom ever in his opinion, and with 3 amazing kids who he will give all the love he can to, he had to admit he was nervous, he knew how to be a dad to girls but not a son yet, sure Max and Rafe are boys but that's different, their his nephews, Jace now had a son and he knew he will teach him to be a good man, he will teach his children to be better then he has been and make sure that they know how proud he is of them no matter what.

Jace decided to take Stephen to the greenhouse, "see chickpea, all these plants are beautiful, they all have a purpose and they all are different," Jace was telling his son as he bent down by a Basil plant "see this you use to cook with to give good flavor, one day dada will make you something with it," Jace said beamingly.

"one day I will teach you how to do all kinds of things, but for now you need to stay little," Jace said as he tickled his son, and was given that adorable baby laugh in return.

"you know, you really are precious, and I swear I will be the best dada I can be to you and your sisters, mommy will too, she's great you know, she also loves to the moon and would do anything for you, and she is the strongest person I know," Jace told his son

"oh, and then there's your uncle Alec, he is amazing and he's making the world a better place for the babies like you, he is the truest person I know and he loves you very much, Alec is a very important person to me and he doesn't get enough recognition, but I know you will look up to him just like I do," he said with a fond smile "also if anyone ever hurts you, your aunt Izzy will fight them, she loves you so much as well and she is one of the most amazing women you will ever meet, tho I suppose I am biased, but most of all Izzy will protect you no matter what," Jace said as sat down with his son in his arms and looked him in the eyes, they were Clary's green eyes.

"and your uncle Magnus will teach you how to put eyeliner on some day, and I want you to know that no one else can show you how to do it better, he'll also give you glitter and you will probably make a mess but you'll have a lot of fun doing that, you get that from me, I like to cause trouble," he said teasingly "and your uncle Simon will get you into all kinds of Mundane movies and comic books and I have no idea what they are about, but I'll listen when you come to tell me about them," he said with a smile

"and then there's grandma Maryse, she is another amazing woman, your surrounded by amazing women, she'll sing to you and play with you and spoil you, she'll read to you and make sure you feel safe, she is my mom and she tried her best to make me feel safe, so I know she will for you too," he said as he was starting to tear up.

"and now we talk about Max and Rafe, your cousins, Max is gonna get you into trouble and Rafe will get you both out of it, and you all will have many stories to tell and you'll be close and always have each other's backs, and they love you so much as well."

"and there's Tessa and Jem they are beautiful people who are so kind and loving you wonder if they are real, you know if you ever need them they'll come with hesitation, and they love you, then we have Kit and Mina, Kit will always make sure you have cookies and Mina will play with you and give you bandages if you need one," he said and saw that Stephen was staring at him like he was listening "and there's aunt Emma, she's gonna spoil you along with your sisters, she calls you and your sisters super angel babies, and she will smoother you in kisses so you better watch out, but she is kind and badass and you'll love her."

"and aunt Lily will say she'll eat you cause your so cute but she won't really I promise, aunt Lily is another amazing woman, and she is a savage, trust me she'll teach you things, and there's aunt Maia, I was not so nice to her when we first met but I grew on her and I apologised, and she loves you, she says she doesn't know how I made such cute babies, but i have to admit your mama had a big part in that," he said with a laugh.

"oh and there's Aline and Helen, they'll love you as well, Aline is another badass and amazing woman and Helen is fierce and kind, Aline will also show you how to throw a good lunch but don't tell mama I told you that, and Helen will make your oatmeal with love," Jace said with fondness.

"and there's Mark and Cristina, they are in charge of the Downworlder-Shadowhunter alliance,and Mark will make you weird sandwiches but he makes them with love, and he'll give you strawberries, and Cristina will sing you to sleep with spanish lullabies, your surrounded by so many people who love you, and you'll grow up to know these amazing people," he said emotionally.

"ah, there's my boys," Clary said as she walked up to them. "What's dada telling you chickpea?" She said as she picked their son up and kissed his temple

"I was telling him he is surrounded by good people who will love him," he said

"yes, so many, sometimes I wonder if you'll even know what to do with it all," Clary said with a grateful and loving smile.

"dada! dada!," Called Cece and Nora, Jace saw them running up to him and they tackle hugged him.

"hey my girls," he said as he took them both in his arms and they told him about their visit to the store and Clary took Stephen to go feed him, cause he was now hungry.

Fatherhood was an adventure and it's a adventure he hoped to be on forever, "alright girls let's go get dinner ready while mama takes care of baby chickpea," he said to them.

And they went and made dinner and Jace would never know what he did to deserve this love he now had but he knew he would forever be grateful and make sure he gives as much love back.

Tagging @khaleesiofalicante cause I know you'll be emotions with me

This got long but I couldn't help myself and I wanted to write about them as a family nas wellz hopefully you enjoy anon and hopefully this isn't too bad 🧡💛🧡💛

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fan4196 · 3 years ago

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The truth

Hey everyone, here's another one. Hope you like it. Enjoy!

Big thank you again @angry-slytherin :)

"Hey. How are you?" Jo asks with a smile under her mask as she walks into Mer's room.

"Let's say better. Not great, but ok for someone who survived covid." Mer answers, looking tired over her own mask.

"You really scared us there. I'm happy you're better again. Your kids missed you so much." Jo nods with a toothless smile as she sits down on the chair beside the hospital bed.

"You talked to them?" Meredith asks surprised, as she watches her friend sit down.

"Yeah, I got my second shot the other day, which Link immediately used to talk me into babysitting Scout, and your kids happen to live in the same house." She says with a laugh.

"Amelia and Link really left you alone with four kids?" Mer immediately asks surprised.

"Yup. They are taking advantage of my new found love for tiny humans." She laughs, watching Meredith closely as she leaves this little hint about her intent now that Mer is fully conscious.

"Oh I heard you when you talked to me about that. You know Cristina and I used to make fun of Alex and the vagina squad back when we where interns. You really wanna join the pink scubs?" The soft tone and little smile on Mer's face calm Jo down. Knowing that Mer wasn't going to talk her out of it or judge her in any way let her nervous heart slow down.

"Yeah." Jo smiles. "I need some joy in my live and I think the vagina squad will bring me that."

"I'm happy for you, if that's what you want, even though I think that you'll miss the OR and all the cool surgeries with in a week." The older one says with a laugh.

"We'll see." Jo smiles.

It's silent in the room for a few seconds until Mer starts with a completely different topic, that Jo wasn't quite ready for.

"I think you should call Alex," the blonde breaks the silence, this time in a way more serious tone.

"What?"

"You should call him." She nods, trying to show the brunette her seriousness.

"Do you- Did Levi tell you-"

"Levi? What does Schmitt have to do with- no. I guess I have to start from the beginning." Mer starts, talking about her dreams. How she was able to see her loved once on a beach; talking to them.

"So you're telling me, that you saw people on a beach while you where sleeping? Like a dream?" Jo asks more confused than ever, not quite getting what her former mentor was trying to tell her.

"Yeah, well it felt stronger than a dream; more real than normal dreams. I was able to see people; talk to them, even touch some of them. Even before they put me on the vent I saw Derek and George." Mer tried to explain the experience she couldn't quite understand herself.

"But this time you saw Izzie?"

"Yeah and she told me that she died five years ago and that she never had kids; she never used the eggs. I know it may sound crazy and I don't expect you to believe me but what if it's true? What if Izzie's really dead? I've been near to death before, I saw Denny Duquette and that bomb guy, even my dog and mother. And they are indeed dead. So what if Alex left for whatever stupid, dump ass reason he thought was worth leaving us and is not with Izzie or his kids. Wouldn't you want to know if he left because he developed schizophrenia and didn't want to burden you with it?" Meredith asks, watching Jo closely, knowing that the Alex topic is still a really sore point for her.

"You are right. It really sounds crazy."

Jo immediately answers, defensive, putting her walls up as soon as she heard her ex-husbands name. And as quick as her mood changed she gets up and is about to leave and escape the situation she really can't be in, when something falls out of her lap coat pocket.

"Jo wait! I'm sorry- Jo!" Mer tries to scream after her, but the brunette is out of the room faster than Mer is able to hold her back.

As Meredith falls back in her pillow she sees Levi walking by.

"Schmitt! Get in here. Pick that up for me." She calls him before he's passed by.

Happy but also intimated by the big Meredith Grey he of course does what she wants and picks up the upside down white square from the floor, handing it to his superior.

"Is that yours?" He asks a little surprised as he sees that the paper turns out to be an ultrasound picture.

"No- It's Jo's." Mer answers just as surprised as the resident as she looks at it closer.

"Oh so you know? Thank god, I'm so happy that I'm not the only one anymore that knows about this. I'm actually a little concerned about her. Her morning sickness is really bad. It's more like an all day sickness and her mood swings- not fun. I bought the wrong cream cheese the other day-"

"Schmitt! Shut up! I didn't know until now." She shuts him up, looking up from the picture to throw him a look.

"Oh."

"Yeah oh. Now get me my phone, I need to make a call." She orders, holding her hand out while she's looking at the ultrasound picture again.

"Hello?"

"Ahm hi. Is this Alex Karevs phone?" Meredith asks confused as a female voice she never heard before greets her from the other side of the call.

"Yes, is it." The woman on Alex's phone answeres friendly. A little to friendly and casual for Mer's liking.

"Then who are you?" She tries to find out who the hell is currently speaking to her.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I heard it ringing from the kitchen and just picked it up. Alex isn't here, he's at the park with the kids-"

"That's not answering my question. Who are you?" Mer interrupts, before the female can keep going. Slowly but surely the mood of the blonde is shifting.

"Well, who are you?" The woman on Alex phone asks back, also slowly losing the friendliness she had just two minutes ago.

"Oh no, I'm not playing this game. Who are you and what are you doing on my friend's phone." Mer starts, ready to scream if this woman won't finally tell her what she wants to know.

"Good. I'm not playing this game either so-"

The woman gets interrupt mid sentence. You can hear rustling and arguing through the phone until the voice Mer wanted to hear in the first place answers.

"Hello?"

"Alex?" She asks, even though she recognized his voice right away.

"Mer?" He asks back, rather surprised, but happy.

"Where the hell are you? Who was that woman? Do you have kids? I know your not in Kansas, Alex. Izzie is dead. What the hell is going on?" She starts shooting off questions without letting him answer.

"Wow, Mer chill-"

"Chill? I'm not going to chill, asshole. You better tell me that the hell is going on-" She needs to stop mid sentence as a wave of coughing overcomes her; an aftereffect she still has from COVID.

"Mer are you ok?" Alex immediately asks concerned.

"No I'm not ok. I almost died of COVID, I was in an induced coma and could have really needed the person on my emergency contact to pick up his stupid phone, to decide what to do next when I wasn't able to." She starts calling frustrated.

"Fuck- I'm so sorry, Mer-"

"Yeah, you better be. Now answer my questions." She comes back to the original topic why she called.

"Ok- I'm not in Kansas. I'm not with Izzie, I'm with my sister, Amber and her kids. She's pregnant and her husband is trapped in Europe because of Covid. I'm helping her with the house and the kids." He starts explaining.

"But there was no Covid when you left-"

"I know. I came here because my brother- well he tried to kill himself. His schizophrenia got worse, Mer. He was not taking his medication, he- ahm he hurt several people and raped three nurses in the facility he was staying in. They put him into prision, where he tried to kill himself and now he's at the hospital where no one's allowed to visit him because of Covid. My mom couldn't handle all the paperwork without interrupting her routine and Amber is seven months pregnant and has two little kids, I didn't want her to do everything." He adds to his story, letting go a little sigh as he finishes.

"I'm sorry to hear that. But why the hell did you feel the need to leave? Why lying to us and sending those stupid letters, you could have just talked to us. We would have helped you-"

"That's the point, I don't want help. This is my family, you had enough family crap for a lifetime and Jo-"

"She would have helped you. You know damn well that she would have gone with you in a heartbeat. She married you, so it's her family too." Mer adds.

"I couldn't- She went through so much crap last year and she was just doing fine again- I couldn't bring her here, hearing that my brother raped three women- I- I couldn't do that to her. She deserves to be happy-"

"She's not, Alex. She's everything but not happy and it's your fault. You know that Jo's probably the strongest woman we know. Yes she went through a lot of crap and yes she just overcome depression, but you also know that she loved you with everything she had. This letter broke her, Alex. She's not showing it, but she's broken. She's working nonstop, even though she's-" She takes a pause before she says too much, then continues. "Abandoning her was worse than just telling her the truth, trust me."

"Even though she's what? Mer what is it? Is she ok?" Alex immediately asks, knowing that Mer's little pause and change of topic was supposed to distracte him from what she almost said.

"It's not my place to tell you, Alex. You should probably call her." Mer tries to talk her out of it, but she knows her friend way too good. When Jo's the topic Alex wants to know everything.

"Mer, what? Tell me, damn it!"

"Alex-"

"Tell me!" He shouts, immediately sorry, but he's so frustrated right now. He has to know that Jo's fine, otherwise- he doesn't even wanna think about it.

"She's pregnant." Mer answers, regretting it the second it comes out of her mouth. It's not her place to tell him.

"What-"

"Before you say anything, I already regret telling you. It's none of my business and actually you don't deserve to know it. I'm sorry but I'm on Jo's side. When you left her, you left me too and I hate you for that. So you are not gonna call her now and scream at her for not telling you, you hear me? If she doesn't wanna tell you, she has every right for doing so, alright? You are not her husband anymore." Mer finishes, hearing the silence on the other side.

"I know." He agrees after a few seconds, before he continues. "Is it- is it mine?"

"The baby? I have no idea, Alex. I just found out an hour ago. An ultrasound picture fell out of her lab coat when she left my room, so I don't know. I heard some rumors- but nevermind." Again immediately regretting that she said too much.

"Rumors? What rumors?" He asks.

"You don't wanna know Alex-"

"Tell me!" He interrupts her again.

"She ahm- I heard rumors that she and Jackson-"

"What?" He stops her. His head is spinning and his heart immediately starts to hurt a little. Even though he knows that he has actually no right to feel like this.

"Alex, you need to calm down. She is not your wife anymore! You are the one that divorced her! I heard that they had a friend with benefits thing going but listen the baby on the ultrasound looks way to big for it to be Jackson's, ok? If you ask me it looks like five maybe six month-"

"Fuck. I left my pregnant wife-" Everything comes crushing down on Alex in that moment and he can't hold his tears back any longer. He really thought he did what was best for everyone.

"Alex are you crying?" Mer asks carefully after a few seconds listening to the silence on the phone.

"Yes I am, because I'm so fucking dumb- I abandoned the love of my life that is carrying my baby- during a freaking pandemic. She probably had the worst morning sicknesses and- god she always told me how scared she is to become a mom but that she feels safe with me by her side- and now I'm not. Fuck- I really didn't change much since our intern year, I'm still a freaking asshole."

"Alex no; you changed a lot. You became an amazing peds surgeon, you've grown so much during the years I've known you. You became an awesome person, my person and you were an amazing husband. But I have to agree, you are a little asshole. Now you hang up, you go outside take some deep breaths, throw a few things against a tree or whatever and then you man up and call Jo. She deserves the truth Alex especially when she's pregnant with your child." Meredith tries to convince him, not knowing what else to say.

"Thanks Mer." He answers quietly.

"Sure."

"I promise I'll visit you as soon as I can, ok? I'm sorry." Alex apologizes again, drying his tears with his sleeve.

"It's ok, asshole. The kids miss you." She laughs through the phone, trying to make him laugh too.

"I miss them too and I miss you. Thank you for calling Mer."

"Sure. Please promise me not to scream at Jo, ok? And please let her tell you that she's pregnant, she'll kill me if she hears that I told you."

"I promise." He answers. "Bye Mer."

"Bye."

After he did what Mer told him, Alex is now sitting on his sister's front porch, phone in his hand, fighting with himself, wondering if he should really call. Jo went through so much already because of him, she doesn't deserve any more pain. Maybe he should just leave her thinking that he's in Kansas. But on the other side, he could never live with the knowledge that she's having his child on her own. Sure he knows that she has a whole damn village at the hospital and they will support her, but they shouldn't. It's his child and he should be the one taking care of them, his baby and Jo.

So before he can think about it any further he's already dialing Jo's number. With his phone on his ear he stands up from the chair on Amber's front porch and starts walking circles in the front yard, while it's ringing.

"Hi this is Doctor Josephine Wilson, please leave a message."

Hearing her voice after almost five month for the first time again gives Alex chills, even though it's just her voicemail message it immediately calms him a little bit. The last thing he heard from her was her crying on his voicemail, begging him to call her. This message broke his heart into a million little peaces, but he wasn't able to answer her because he knew that he would have hopped on the next plane home in a heartbeat. But his family here needed him.

Now he's the one, getting send straight to her voicemail, which he totally understands.

"Hi. It's me, Alex. Jo, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I know sorry doesn't fix anything and I understand that you probably never wanna talk to me again. But please just listen. I'm not in Kansas, I'm not with Izzie nor any twins. I'm in Iowa. I'm with Amber and her kids. She's pregnant and her husband is stuck in Europe due to Covid. I originally got here because Aaron- he- he was not taking his meds and tried to hurt himself. He's in the hospital now. I couldn't let my mom or Amber handle this, I just- I'm sorry I just left like this. I never wanted to hurt you, I just didn't want you to get wrapped into my family crap again. You didn't deserve that after you just pulled yourself out of this dark hole. I wanted to protect you, but I guess I just hurt you more- I never wanted to leave you and I sure as hell never wanted you to not be my wife. I married you because you're the most incredible woman I've ever met. I guess I never told you, but you Josephine are the strongest and most amazing woman on this planet and I never deserved you or your pure, loving heart. I'm so incredibly sorry- for everything." He takes a deep breath, wiping away the tears that started streaming down his face again as soon as he started talking. "Please call me. I love you Jo and I will never stop. I'm sorry. Bye."

It's been two days now since Alex left the voicemail and he still didn't get an answer.

He called Mer again but she didn't know anything about Jo either, so he guesses he really fucked it up this time and he couldn't even be mad at her. It's his own fault-

"Uncle Alex, there's someone at the door for you."

Alex got ripped out of his thoughts by his nieces little voice. He quickly smiles at the blonde little girl and gets up from the couch.

He rounds the corner of the living room and freezes as soon as he sees the visitor standing beside his sister on the front porch.

Even though he can't see her whole face, because it's covered with a purple mask, he knows that she's smiling while she's talking to Amber. Her eyes are sparkling as she takes her few from Amber and locks eyes with him.

Slowly, not knowing if everything was just a dream or if this was really happening, his feet carry him towards the front door, past Amber, pulling Jo into a tight hug. He can fell her immediately relaxing in his embrace, wrapping her arms around his neck, burying her head deep in his shirt. He tries to pull her closer but the little bumb in between them won't let him.

"I'm sorry." He whispers, not making any move to let her go anytime soon.

"Shut up." She answers, which makes him laugh.

They stay like this for a few more minutes until one of Alex's hand finds his way from her hip to the bump in between them. Jo loses her grip around his neck a little without letting completely go, to look him in the eyes. She doesn't need to say anything, they both know exactly what the other one wants to say.

"I would really like to kiss you." Alex whisperes, afraid to scare her away by saying it to loud.

"Why aren't you." She smiles mischievously through her eyes, knowing exactly why he can't kiss her.

"You're wearing a mask." He answers, even though he knows she is playing with him.

"Well lucky you I'm vaccinated plus I got tested at the airport and brought this for you." She pulls a white bag out of her purse and hands it to Alex. "If it's negative you can take it off of me and kiss me." She smiles, as Alex grabs the Covid test and harshly unwraps it.

#jolex #fan4196 #fanfic #fanfiction #jo x alex #grey's fanfic #alex #alex karev #grey's #grey's anatomy #jo #jo wilson #jo karev

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jazy3 · 4 years ago

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Thoughts on Grey’s Anatomy: 17X8

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

I freakin’ loved this episode! It was so so good! Which surprised me considering what they focused on. Based on the promo I knew that this would be DeLuca’s goodbye episode and so I expected to like the other parts of the episode we were shown in the promo such as Hayes talking to Meredith at her bedside, Richard’s storyline, and Derek’s return. However, I was not expecting to enjoy any part of DeLuca’s farewell storyline and I was pleasantly surprised. I think that’s because they focused on the effects of grief and guilt and how everyone processes those emotions differently.

It was a really interesting character study on how each person feels a loss in their own way. Despite not liking the character I actually found DeLuca’s memorial service quite moving. I think it was because they found a creative way to do it and because funerals in the real world like we normally do aren't possible right now. My grandfather died last summer and while he didn’t want a funeral my family and I weren’t able to get together to mourn his loss as we usually would and that’s been hard.

I wasn’t particularly close with my grandfather, but the loss of traditional grieving rituals in this time of COVID-19 has been frustrating. I liked that they found a creative way to have the characters mourn the loss of a fellow staff member. I expected to see Carina more, but as I understand it her storyline played out more on Station 19 which makes sense. I felt like they did a good job of showing the five stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance) and how everyone experiences them differently.

Teddy and Owen displayed survivors' guilt and frustration that they did everything right and he still died. At the end we see Teddy in a catatonic state and it made me think that she might be sick with COVID herself or that there was something else wrong. While I've never been a Teddy and Owen shipper I did like the moment at the end where Owen noticed something was wrong and came over to her and told her that he would take her home and when she didn't respond he picked her up and carried her.

It reminded me of the Season 2 episode where Denny dies and Izzie refuses to leave his side so Alex picks her up and carries her over to a chair in her prom dress. Very different relationships, but a nice parallel in my opinion. This episode had a lot of those. Teddy seeing DeLuca in other people’s faces was freaky! I have to say that guy is way more interesting as a ghost then he ever was alive.

I totally got Helm's reaction. I understand why she said and thought those horrible things about DeLuca. He was an ass for a really long time. I probably would have done the same thing myself, but that doesn't mean she wanted him dead. I thought what Maggie did for her was wonderful. My heart broke for Schmitt when he described his emotions. Richard was angry and Bailey went overboard trying to figure out what happened. Everyone's experience of a loss is different and I like that they showed that.

I’m glad that Richard told Bailey what she needed to hear. It was painful, but in trying to find an answer or a reason for what happened she was unintentionally hurting the people around her who were suffering too. The strength of Richard and Bailey's relationship is that they can tell each other the truth when no one else can or will. I loved his monologue to Catherine about trying to find a meaning in the puzzle of life and questioning his faith which is such a big part of his sobriety. James Pickens Jr. did a beautiful job in that scene.

Say what you want about Catherine, but I loved her response. Richard was trying to find meaning in the meaningless and in response she shared with him that her latest scans showed that the cancer hadn’t grown. Logically it should have, but it didn’t. Sometimes there are miracles and sometimes there are senseless deaths. Life is a puzzle. We don’t always understand it. That was exactly what Richard needed to hear in that moment.

On a more upbeat note, I loved the beach scenes this week! They were perfect! They were everything I dreamed of for my favourite characters and more! We got to see Derek and Meredith get closer and talk about the kids. When Meredith is heartbroken that Derek never got to meet Ellis or to know her he tells her all of these wonderful things about her. How she’s just like Meredith and makes it clear that he’s watching over them always.

He talks about Zola and how she writes to him in her journal and how Meredith taught her to ride a bike. I teared up! I've been waiting for them to discuss the kids and here it is! Hearing Derek talk about Ellis and knowing that he watches over Meredith and the kids was so emotional for me. I loved hearing him describe who she is and getting to learn more about her. I'm glad he encouraged her to go back. As much as Derek and Meredith miss each other she's needed back in the land of the living.

Her kids need her and so does everyone else. I loved Derek's gentle teasing. His facial expressions. And then there are her scenes with Hayes! God they were perfect! I've been waiting for this! I loved how Meredith kept joyfully asking him what he did to make Ellis smile so wide and laugh so loudly. She knows he can't hear her yet there she is dying to know what he said or did. The sound of her voice when she said that was everything for me. They already feel like a couple. So much in sync.

I love that Derek, who was shown to be extremely jealous in life, encouraged her to hear Hayes out. I really felt like he was giving her his blessing and the fact that they established that Hayes has met the kids virtually and they know who he is sealed the deal for me. Hayes has now received Cristina’s approval, Derek’s blessing, and is shown to have positive relationships with Meredith’s friends and family in Seattle. I loved that Hayes told Meredith to fight and talked about how her kids were doing and how everyone needs her.

I loved that he came and sat at her bedside and begged her to fight and not give up and that he talked to her even though he wasn’t sure if she could hear him. I love that he sat with her through the virtual memorial even though he wasn’t close to DeLuca and didn’t like him. The cheerful greeting and familiarity with which he greets Amelia and Zola and the stories he tells Meredith indicates that he’s been having regular video chats with Amelia, Maggie, Link, and the kids and that he’s chosen to stay by Meredith’s side when he just as easily could have left while she was on a call with her kids.

It will also make the transition easier when do start dating because the kids will already know him. The music in this episode was really beautiful. Especially the songs that played during the beach scenes. I really enjoyed the drunken Link, Jo, and Jackson scene. I felt it brought much needed levity and humour to the episode the same way the beer scene with Jackson, Link, and Winston did in the previous episode. Their scenes were funny and raw and provided a good balance for the episode.

I also loved seeing more of Jo and Jackson's friends with benefits relationship and more of Jo and Link and Jackson and Link's friendship. I'd actually forgotten that Jackson and Link were friends so it was cool to see that dynamic again and that Link is supportive of their situation. The drinking game to me felt like a throwback to the Season 2 episode where Meredith and Cristina are at Joe’s Bar playing a game of whose life sucks the most and she tells them that Derek is married and Cristina tells her she’s pregnant. These revelations eventual lead to Cristina scheduling an abortion and declaring Meredith her person.

It was cool to see Maggie and Winston working together at Grey Sloan Memorial. Winston living in Boston was only going to go on for so long because as we've all found out this past year there's only so much you can do virtually. I knew he'd be moving to Seattle at some point and I'm glad to see him working at the hospital and hanging with Maggie's family. The scene where he danced it out with the kids was too cute! I'll be interested to see more of their dynamic moving forward as Maggie used to be his teacher and is now his boss. I'm also glad that both Winston and Hayes are finally getting the proper screen time they deserve.

Their storyline with the naked guy cracked me up! My two favourite lines of the episode were when the guy freaked out because he realized he wasn’t wearing his mask and Maggie said, “You’re not wearing much of anything.” And when Maggie and Winston went looking for him and Zander Perez, the resident from Pac North, told them, “If you’re looking for a naked guy he went that way.” I laughed so hard!

The scenes with Zola got me. She is a real trouper. She definitely is Meredith Grey's daughter through and through. I'm a big believer in found family and one of the things Grey's does really is show that there are many different ways to be a family and that family is what you make of it. True family is made up of the people who love and support you unconditionally not genetics. I really love that they've shown the strength of that bond between Zola and her family.

My favourite hidden moment of the episode was Tom! He appears in the background at DeLuca's memorial which means he's getting better. If he's well enough to be outside at the memorial then his condition has greatly improved since last we saw and that's great! Tom's a wonderfully complex character and I'm glad he's doing better. He appears in a bunch of deleted scenes that were released through the Grey’s Anatomy Twitter account which I highly recommend. The writing in this episode was excellent!

This episode was written by Adrian Wenner whose previous credits include the Season 16 episode ‘A Hard Pill to Swallow’ in which Meredith and Hayes work that vaping case together and get to know each for the first time. Honestly, my only complaint about this episode is that I wish they’d done it sooner! I wish they had bumped this and the previous episode up. The Mid-Season Finale felt very anti-climatic to me and was poorly received by a lot of fans. I wish they had just scrapped that episode or combined it with what we saw in the Mid-Season Premiere and then jumped into this episode after the break. But we’re here now and that’s the important thing.

Onto next week’s promo. Damn does it look interesting! We see that Owen has brought Teddy home and she’s not eating or speaking and he’s worried if her condition does not improve he’ll have to admit her. I’m sure he’s having flashbacks to when Cristina did the same thing after the plane crash. She appears to be experiencing some kind of nightmare sequence where she sees DeLuca as a ghost and Meredith speaks to her. Looks intense!

Until next time!

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normal-thoughts-official · 3 years ago

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Izzy and magnus brotp headcanons if u have any bls

i do! i dont think ive ever been asked about them before so yay!

mandatory disclaimer that this post is about the show, not the books, and idc what happens in the books and wont be taking it into consideration here

okay so i think my brotp tag for them ("crazy scientists but make it glam") pretty much sums it up. i love the concept of crazy scientists magnus and izzy. like... if magnus and alec lose braincells when theyre together, magnus and izzy gain braincells, but lose Common Sense

because they are both so into similar things like physics and biochem and technology and magic, so if the subject comes up they will start excitedly talking about idk the possibilities for time travel or something, and alec of course has no interest in those things so hes like "k imma get a drink" and when he comes back magnus and izzy are Actually Seriously Planning On Launching Themselves To Mars and he has to be like "or maybe we could discuss this here on earth???" and alec is really not used to being the voice of reason when it comes to magnus but alas

and i just love magnus and izzy as that duo who can like spend hours talking in depth about the mechanisms of time travel or cures for magical diseases or whichever subject theyre focusing on at the moment and who make a mean team when working together but who can also get Too Excited and lose it a little

other than that the other thing i like about magnus and izzy is that they can relate to each other on that sense of being reduced to The Hot Fashionista, you know? like magnus is called a lothario and izzy is always treated like her one personality trait is Sexy™ and i think both of them kind of use that perception as an armor for themselves. i have talked about that in relation to magnus several times so i dont think it bears repeating because he himself compared his eyeliner to tiger stripes and magicked makeup on when he was feeling bad and alec was coming, so. but anyway my point is that izzy is no different and that was addressed in the sh that is good and lives in my head instead of her just being reduced to eye candy the whole show

like it's obvious that izzy's whole thing with being Sexy™ is something that she uses as part of her rebel act. like, her mom is gonna reduce her to a stupid slut anyway, so why not act the part? case in point: twi!izzy. in the world where the lightwoods weren't making her and alec's life hell, she allowed herself to be a lot more casual. also the way she is always talking about how she can do everything they do in heels, how she always uses her body to be "the distraction" and/or to gather information, to lure in demons even tho thats unnecessary, etc. like i think a part of izzy feels like sex is all she's good at and so she lays that in as thick as possible. she even kind of said so when she said that one of the reasons why she liked raphael is because she knew that sex wasn't a part of the equation for him

disclaimer! dressing in revealing clothes and/or sleeping around is not bad and doesnt inherently mean that the person has Unresolved Issues that end up manifesting like that, or whatever. i think izzy also dresses as she does because she likes it and good for her! she also clearly likes sex and good for her!!!! and it definitely doesn't mean her relationships are shallow because we saw how fiercely loyal she is to those he loves, platonically or romantically. i just think that the way she built her identity around that is partially because it is a good armor - if she presents herself as shallow and concerned only with instant pleasure and looking pretty, people won't get too close. and when they treat her as such, it doesn't hurt as much because she IS laying it on thick and she IS sexy and she can use it to her advantage, even to manipulate people, so whos laughing now?

for example, in s1 in particular izzy was always acting like she cared about nothing but having fun and going to parties, yet it was obvious that izzy actually cared way more about saving the downworld and helping those she loves, particularly alec. like she presents herself as shallow and unconcerned with anything but her own pleasure but it's clear that she's willing to throw all of that away - even give herself up to get married to whoever her parents choose, her own worst nightmare - for what actually matters and drives her: her loved ones and what she thinks is right. she was okay with getting deruned for what she believed in, thats not a shallow person. so obviously that whole thing was an act, and well, why put up an act like that when it borders on annoying honestly? i think it's to protect herself, for the reasons listed above

plus, it makes her mom mad, and a part of her is obviously defining herself in opposition to her mom. if her mom wants something out of her, she does the opposite, and that applies to her clothing too

anyway all of that is to say that magnus and izzy have a similar relationship with 1- their "lothario"/"slut" personas, and 2- the way they understand fashion and clothing. it's about expressing something to others, something that protects their vulnerabilities, for the both of them. and while i don't think they (particularly izzy) are exactly dying to go deep into that subject and their armors, there is that understanding between them, you know? and under the right amount of alcohol and in a safe enough environment when its just the two of them they might even talk about it and its nice to have someone who completely understands it, you know, that pretty specific defense mechanism and being reduced to sexualized stereotypes (especially since both of them are bi. id mention both of them being brown too but izzy's racial belonging in the show is uhhhhh weird to say the least so i wont get into that)

and also just the silly things! going to parties together, going shopping together, remember when magnus and izzy were both wearing the exact same color scheme and pattern? obsessed with the idea of them color coordinating just for like, the challenge of creating outfits that dont look the same or even like theyre supposed to match but that have similars colors and textures and patterns, you know?

also they are fantastic at gifting each other and somehow always know Exactly What The Other Has Their Eyes Own. like izzy will give magnus some eyeliner and he'll be like "how did you know ive been meaning to buy that?" and she'll go "i didnt" and wink at him, and the opposite is also true. or alternatively izzy will get him a book on astronomy and he'll be like "how did you know i was hyperfixating on black holes??" and she'll be like "i didn't" and the other way around as well. alec asks for their help buying gifts for the other more often than not, but izzy realized a long time ago that magnus likes alec's gifts better than hers, because even tho they aren't always a perfect fit, they are always so thoughtful and blow him away even tho that was in no way alec's intention (see: the omamori)

also izzy is fiercely protective of alec, magnus, and their relationship as a whole, which sometimes really warms magnus' heart when she just. jumps in to their defense when someone is being bitchy, you know? it's nice that she has their back

and i think thats all i have for now but aaa i love them

#sh #shadowhunters #izzy lightwood #magnus bane #izzy lightwood meta #kinda #meta #brotp: crazy scientists but make it glam #ask #anonymous #long post

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rhosyn-du · 3 years ago

Text

Never make a mess when a total catastrophe will do - Chapter Two

Pairings: Jimon, past Clace, background Clizzy, a bunch of other minor background pairings Rating: Explicit Art: @cor321 Beta: @all-thestories-aretrue Tags: Alternate Universe - College/University, fake dating, oh my god they were roommates, friends with benefits, idiots to lovers, pining, miscommunication, holidays, drinking games, mistletoe, symbolically significant Oreos, domestic fluff, brief mention of past character death, Jace’s self-worth issues deserve their own tag Summary: What do you do when you find out your sister is not only dating your ex and love-of-your-high-school-life but is also bringing her home for Christmas? Bring your annoying, hot, annoyingly-hot roommate as your fake boyfriend to show them you're totally fine with it, obviously! There's no possible way this could backfire. Link: AO3 , Tumblr Master Post

Chapter Two

They didn’t talk more about it later. Jace barely saw Simon at all over the following couple weeks, in fact. It’s not that he was intentionally avoiding Simon, but they both had final exams to study for, and Simon was wrapped up in guitar ensemble rehearsals for the winter concert on top of that. If Jace had spent a little more of his study time in the library than was strictly necessary and that just happened to prevent any further discussions of dispays of physical affection and practice dates, that was entirely beside the point.

What Jace hadn’t counted on was how unprepared he’d feel pulling up outside the Queen Anne style townhouse he’d called home for most of his childhood. He suddenly wished he’d let Simon talk him into driving together and using the drive as a last minute planning session, even if it meant they’d need to coordinate their trip back to Boston. As much as he’d been avoiding talking about their plan, it really only occurred to Jace on the drive how much he wished they actually had, you know, a plan.

“Wow,” Simon said, hopping out of the hand-painted van he’d parked right behind Jace’s car. “Is that an actual turret?”

“Yup, gotta love those late 19th century architectural fads,” Jace answered as he pulled his suitcase out of the trunk. “The house belonged to Maryse’s grandparents, and I’ve never been able to tell how much she actually likes the style and how much is just childhood nostalgia, but she hasn’t even changed much of the interior except for renovations and repairs.”

“I have a hard time imagining growing up in a place like this,” Simon said as he joined Jace with his own suitcase in hand. “And it’s not like my mom’s house is tiny or anything, but this is just...” He waved a hand vaguely at the house. “A lot.”

He didn’t ask why Jace was sharing a tiny apartment furnished entirely secondhand if his family lived in a house like this, and Jace didn’t offer an explanation.

“You don’t need to be nervous,” Jace said, even though there was plenty to be nervous about. “I promise the house doesn’t bite.”

“Yeah, less worried about the house than the people in it,” Simon told him.

“I thought you were, like, the parent whisperer,” Jace teased. “Isn’t that why you offered to come with me? Because you make a great boyfriend? Trust me, as long as Alec and Izzy think you make me happy, they’ll love you, and you know more about comics than anyone I’ve ever met, so Max will love you regardless.”

“Okay,” Simon said, releasing a heavy breath. “Okay, thanks. You’re right, I just got a little intimidated by the house, but this is all going to be fine.”

“Maryse is probably going to hate you, though,” Jace continued, keeping his face carefully deadpan. “She hates everyone we bring home. It’s like a rite of passage. But you’re great with parents, so I’m sure you’ll at least avoid intentional food poisoning.”

Simon stared at him in horror, and Jace couldn’t keep a hit of a smile from breaking through.

“I hate you,” Simon told him.

“If it makes you feel any better,” Jace said, “I’m pretty sure the food poisoning wasn’t actually intentional.”

“Wait, there was actual food poisoning?”

“Come on,” Jace said, heading toward the door. “I want to get inside before we freeze to death.”

“You are such a dick sometimes,” Simon muttered, catching up to him.

Then, he slipped his free hand into Jace’s like it was a totally normal thing to do, and Jace had to catch himself from tripping over the steps.

“Careful,” Simon said, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. “I’m not going to make a very good impression on your family if you fall and break your neck before we even get inside.”

And there was just nothing to say to that, to how uncomfortable it wasn’t to have Simon’s hand in his like this, to the way it made him want. So Jace simply rolled his eyes and pushed open the front door, letting the scent of home wrap around him like a warm blanket.

“Okay,” Simon said quietly as he surveyed the entryway, complete with antique chandelier. “Feeling a little intimidated again.” And it was so easy for Jace to just give his hand a reassuring squeeze.

“Hey, you made it,” a warm voice greeted them. “With as bad as traffic has been, we thought you’d be another hour at least.”

“Hey, man,” Jace said, dropping Simon’s hand so he could pull his brother into a hug. “People must be staying home for the holidays this year, because we barely hit any traffic at all.” He glanced around. “Where is everyone?”

“Iz should be here any minute, Max is holed up in his room playing video games with his friends, and Magnus is helping Mom with some last-minute grocery shopping for dinner tomorrow.” Alec held out a hand to Simon. “I’m Alec, since Jace apparently can’t be bothered to make introductions like a civilized person.”

“It’s okay,” Simon said, giving his hand a quick shake, “I gave up on the idea of Jace being civilized the first time I saw him eat pizza that had been sitting out on the counter for three days.”

“That was your pizza,” Jace pointed out.

“Yeah,” Simon said, “which I was going to throw away because I forgot about it for three days.”

“On the subject of uncivilized,” Jace said, turning back to Alec, who was looking just a little too pleased, “you really sent Magnus shopping with Maryse? Buddy, if you decided you don’t want to marry the guy, just break it off with him. You don’t have to throw him to the wolves like that.”

Alec’s tiny smile became a little less tiny and a whole lot softer. “Magnus and Mom have actually been getting along lately. She wanted his opinion on wine pairings, so they went to the store and left me here so I can pull the bread out of the oven when it’s done. It’s very weird, but also nice.”

“That does sound very weird,” Jace told him, “but I’m glad things are working out and Maryse has found some level of chill somewhere.”

“Hopefully that means I won’t get poisoned,” Simon said.

Alec snorted. “If you want to avoid it, you should probably avoid mentioning you know about that. Or any other embarrassing family stories Jace might have shared with you.”

“And don’t eat anything Izzy hands you,” Jace added. “Anything she cooks probably won’t kill you, but the taste will make you wish you were dead.”

“So, I should just fast while I’m here,” Simon said. “Good to know.”

Jace led Simon upstairs to drop off their bags while Alec checked on the bread.

“Just toss your bag anywhere,” Jace said, opening the door to his old room. “We can argue over who gets which side of the dresser later.”

“Sure,” Simon said cheerfully, “as long as we can be civil deciding who gets which side of the bed.” He stopped just inside the doorway. “Wow, okay. The apparently very small bed.”

And this really was something that should have occurred to him, Jace realized. It wasn’t that he hadn’t considered that he’d be sharing a bed with Simon. They’d even talked about it, briefly, and agreed it was no big deal. But Jace hadn’t considered exactly how much smaller his childhood bed was than the generous queen he slept in back home. It was technically large enough to fit two grown men, but only technically.

“Don’t worry,” Jace said, falling back on his trademark bravado, “I won’t get mad if you cuddle me in your sleep. I know you can’t help it if your subconscious recognizes that I’m irresistible.”

“I’m more worried about your freakishly sharp elbows,” Simon muttered.

“As long as you don’t snore or steal the covers, you won’t have to worry about my elbows,” Jace told him. He was planning to keep his elbows, and the rest of him, as far away from Simon as possible. Which, given the size of the bed, was maybe three inches.

“Dude, I do not snore,” Simon protested. “You know that; we live together.”

“You absolutely snore after your fourth drink.”

“I wasn’t planning to get drunk with your family,” Simon said, tossing his bag onto the bed.

“You say that now,” Jace said, leaving his own bag next to the door. “But wait until you get the full Lightwood Christmas experience before deciding you want to spend the whole thing sober.”

“If your family drives me to drink, you don’t get to blame me for snoring,” Simon countered. Which was probably fair, but Jace was saved from having to admit that by the sound of voices coming from downstairs.

“That’d be Izzy,” Jace said, “and we’d better get down there before she accuses me of trying to hide you from her.”

“Jace,” called a singsong voice, right on cue, “quit making out with your mystery hottie and get down here so we can actually meet him.”

“You should be careful making demands like that,” Jace called back. “What if I’m not wearing any pants?”

“We’ve all seen it. Get your ass down here “

“I like your sister already,” Simon told him.

“You say that now, but wait until she decides you count as family. She won’t be any better with you.” He took Simon’s hand. Because it helped sell their relationship. Because he could. Simon laced their fingers together, and Jace tried not to feel any way about that at all as he led Simon back down the stairs.

They only made it a couple steps before Simon came to a complete stop, almost causing Jace to trip the rest of the way down the staircase. He heard Simon mutter a soft ‘oh crap’ at the same time a bright, redheaded whirlwind came rushing up the stairs at them.

“Oh my god, Simon?” Clary grabbed Simon into a giant bearhug, effectively tearing his hand out of Jace’s. “You’re Jace’s mystery boyfriend? How did I not know about this? You didn’t even tell me you were dating anyone, you jerk! What happened to best friend gossip privileges?”

Clary pulled back from the hug, and now that Jace could actually see her face, he could see the hint of concern she was trying to hide under her wide smile.

“Clary. Hi,” Simon said, eyes wide. “I was going to tell you, I swear. It’s just, this is kind of new and so...” He trailed off, looking panicked. His eyes caught Jace’s. “But, uh, yeah. This is Jace. My boyfriend. Jace, this is my best friend, Clary Fray.”

“Yeah,” Jace said, looking between the two of them and feeling more than a little out of his depth. He’d planned for things to be weird, but not this weird. “We’ve met.” He flashed Clary a smile. “Fray, huh?”

She nodded. “I couldn’t keep his name. Not after...after everything. Fray is the name Mom used before she married Luke. It’s the name I remember her having when I was little, so.” She shrugged. “I filed the paperwork to have it legally changed the day I turned eighteen.”

“It suits you,” Jace told her, and let himself be pulled into a tight hug that he suspected was as much because she needed one as that she was glad to see him. Clary had never told him much about the biological father she barely knew, but she’d told him enough to know that Clary held him responsible for her mother’s death, even if the courts had cleared him of any wrongdoing.

“Thanks,” Clary whispered, before surreptitiously drying her eyes on his shoulder and pulling back to flash a smile that was less forced than Jace expected. “So, tell me how this happened without me hearing about it.” She bumped Jace with her shoulder. “And if it’s so new, what possessed you to subject Simon to your family holidays?”

“Hey,” Izzy said, walking up behind Clary and wrapping her arms around her girlfriend’s waist. Jace had to admit, they looked...well, right together. “That’s my family, too, you know.”

“Oh, I know,” Clary said, offering a soft grin over her shoulder. “And the fact that I’m here should tell you exactly how much I love you.”

“Fair,” Izzy said, then looked at Simon. “So, how’d my brother convince you to join this circus?”

“We made a trade,” Simon said, straight-faced. “I put up with his family for Christmas and he puts up with mine for my cousin Rachel’s wedding.” He leaned in and told Izzy in a stage whisper, “Also, I’m weak for his smile, but don’t tell him I said that, because he will abuse it.”

“You say that like I don’t already abuse it,” Jace said, sliding his arm around Simon’s waist in a mirror of Izzy and Clary’s pose. “And to answer your earlier question, us being officially together is new, but we’ve been sort of on the verge of dating for ages. Practically since we started sharing an apartment last year.”

Clary let out a peal of delighted laughter. “Oh, you’re the roommate. It makes sense now.” Before Jace could ask what made sense, she was pulling the both of them into a tight hug. “I’m really happy for both of you.”

“If I’d known you were going to be this excited, I definitely would have mentioned it sooner,” Simon said, pulling back from the hug.

Jace tried to catch his eye, wondering what on earth was going on. He knew both Clary and Simon well enough to know he was missing something, but he had no idea what it was. Simon ignored him, and that just made Jace more suspicious.

“Come on,” Izzy said. “You can have your hug fest later. Right now, I want to help Alec get things set up in the kitchen and maybe surprise Mom by getting dinner started before she gets back.”

Jace and Clary exchanged a panicked look, and Jace frantically searched his mind for excuses to keep Izzy busy. He didn’t actually want a repeat of the food poisoning episode, after all.

“Actually,” Simon said, turning a bright smile on Izzy. “I was kind of hoping you’d be willing to show me your Lego Star Wars collection before we get too wrapped up in family stuff. Jace mentioned you have the deluxe Imperial Star Destroyer set from the early 2000’s, and I’ve never actually seen one in person.”

“Oh,” Izzy said, looking torn. “I’m not sure—”

“We can help Alec in the kitchen,” Clary said quickly. “You two go do your nerd thing. I knew this was inevitable when I finally introduced you two anyway. And this way I get the chance to harass my bestie’s new boyfriend without him in the way trying to keep me from learning the embarrassing details.”

“You know, on second thought—” Simon began, looking slightly panicked.

“Come on,” Izzy interrupted, smiling brightly and grabbing his hand.

Simon flashed Clary a betrayed look, then looked to Jace for support. Jace simply smiled at him.

“Don’t worry, love muffin,” he said mildly. “I’d never intentionally embarrass you.”

“I want you to know that I hate both of you,” Simon said before allowing Izzy to drag him back up the stairs.

“My collection is all still in my old room,” Izzy said. “Clary and I have been looking for an apartment big enough I can actually move the rest of my stuff out of here, but so far we haven’t found anything in our price range.”

Jace turned back to Clary. “Exactly what kind of embarrassing stories were you hoping for? Because I have many.”

Clary shook her head. “I’m pretty sure I’ve got more embarrassing Simon stories than you do. I’ve got almost two decades worth. But I was actually hoping to talk to you alone anyway, and this seems like the best chance we’re going to get.”

Jace followed her down the stairs and into the study. “Sounds serious. You planning to give me a shovel talk?”

Clary laughed, shaking her head. “No, I know you, remember? I’m not worried about you hurting Simon. Well,” she amended, “not any more than I am about him hurting you.” She met his eyes with a soft smile. “You might be the only person I know with a heart as big as Simon’s, as much as you try to hide it.”

Jace looked away. It had been two years since the last time he’d seen her, and she could still see right to the heart of him. He didn’t want to know what she’d see if she kept looking. “Clary—”

“Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me,” she teased. “But I didn’t actually bring you out here to talk about Simon. I wanted to apologize.”

Jace frowned, looking back at her. “You’ve got nothing to apologize for.” He was more than a little grateful not to have Clary grilling him about his entirely fabricated relationship, but he wasn’t sure where this conversation was going.

“No, I do,” she insisted. “I promised to keep in touch when you moved away, and I didn’t.”

“It’s not a big deal,” Jace said, even if maybe it had been at first. Those first few months at school had been hard. Jace always thought he was used to being alone, especially after his mother’s suicide, but he found out just how much he’d come to rely on his new family when he didn’t see them every day. They’d kept in touch, of course, but with Izzy immersed in her studies and Alec all wrapped up in his new relationship with Magnus, it wasn’t anything like what it had been when they were all under one roof.

For a while, he and Clary had been in touch nearly every day, sometimes texting multiple times a day. Jace told her about his classes and how much he liked Boston, and Clary told him all about trying to narrow down which art schools she wanted to apply to. It was almost the same sort of easy friendship they’d had before he left, after they agreed they were better off as friends.

But after a couple months, Clary’s messages came less and less often, and eventually stopped altogether. Jace tried not to let it bother him, but he started drinking a bit too much and going to a few too many parties. Which was how he’d met Maia, his attempts at flirting somehow leading to him getting his ass handed to him at beer pong, and soon he found himself with an entire group of new friends. Although Maia insisted for almost a year that she and Jace were merely antagonistic acquaintances.

Clary gave him a look that told him she knew exactly how full of it he was. “It was a shitty thing to do, and I was a shitty friend,” she told him. “Especially because I did it on purpose. Izzy and I started getting close and I started to have feelings for her, and I didn’t know what to say to you about it. I didn’t know how to even talk to you about what was going on in my life without mentioning that she was becoming such a big part of it.”

“You didn’t actually have to hide it from me, you know,” Jace said. “I was surprised when Izzy first told me, but I’m mostly just glad you’re both happy. And seeing you together, I know you both are.”

“Thanks,” Clary said. “I didn’t want to hurt you or make things weird. For a while, I thought I could just ignore what I was feeling, but Iz is just... She’s not someone you can ignore, you know?”

“Oh, I know exactly how hard my sister is to ignore, believe me.” Jace stopped, considered, then admitted something he had never said—would never say—to another person. But this was Clary, and he knew she would never repeat it. And even if she did, he could always play it off as part of the act. “She and Simon have that in common. You know, I actually thought I hated him at first? He’s so enthusiastic about everything, and so sincere, and just.” He shrugged. “Not the kind of person I thought would ever do it for me.”

“But he won you over with his boyish charm?” Clary guessed.

“Mm,” Jace agreed. And the way he loved without reserve. Not just his family and friends, but his music, his favorite films, even the crappy nachos from the 7-11 down the block from their apartment. Simon loved every part of life, and being around him, Jace could almost imagine what that felt like. “Well, that and his abs.”

“Can’t forget those,” Clary laughed.

“Not with how often he eats breakfast shirtless,” Jace agreed. “Come on. If we aren’t in the kitchen by the time Izzy gets back downstairs, you know she’ll try to help Alec herself, and I was kind of hoping for dinner to be edible.”

~~~

Dinner was surprisingly painless. Maryse was more relaxed and happy than Jace had ever seen her, and he couldn’t help wondering how much of that was related to the very unsubtle smiles she kept exchanging with Clary’s stepfather. Even Max, who was deep in throes of preteen scorn, grudgingly admitted that Simon being in a band was “pretty cool” and joined in on some of Simon, Clary, and Izzy’s excited nerd talk that went entirely over Jace’s head.

After dinner, they retired to the living room for eggnog and carols. Jace limited himself to a single cup of Magnus’s infamous eggnog, knowing better than to let himself get drunk when he was putting on a show for his family. Or sharing his tiny bed with Simon.

As usual, Jace let himself get pushed over the piano to play. He felt something in him settle as soon as he rested his fingers on the keys of Maryse’s baby grand, the feel different and so much more familiar than the ancient keyboard he had back in Boston or the well-used uprights in the practice rooms at school.

When Jace had first come to live with the Lightwoods, he’d been afraid to touch the piano. His mother had put him in lessons as soon as he was old enough, but she hated to listen to him play and often chastised him for not being a better player, saying he should be better at it with how talented his father was. Now, he understood that it was just another manifestation of the combined grief and mental illness that led to Celine’s death, but at the time he’d hated how awful he was at playing, no matter how much he enjoyed doing it.

But Maryse knew he played and encouraged him to use her piano. She told him that it had been her father’s, and though she’d taken lessons herself as a child, she’d never really loved it the way he had. She said that the instrument deserved to be loved, and as long as Jace loved playing it, she didn’t care how good he was or wasn’t.

It was the first time he’d really felt like this could be his home.

“Okay,” Jace said after the third version of O Tannenbaum with ridiculous altered lyrics—this one courtesy of Simon rather than Max or Clary, about an ill-fated toad who chose the wrong moment to cross the street, “I think my fingers are done for the night.”

“Oh, come on,” Clary said. “Simon and I have at least a dozen more of these we came up with when we were kids.”

“When we were little, I only knew the lyrics to the Christmas songs they played on the radio, so Fray made up silly lyrics to the other ones and told me they were real,” Simon explained. “And it made her so happy that I went along with it even for the couple I did know.”

“There will be plenty of time for more singing tomorrow,” Maryse said. “But if I know this one,” she continued, smiling at Max, “we’re all going to be dragged out of bed at the crack of dawn for presents.”

“Mom,” Max whined, “I’m not a kid anymore. I know the presents will still be there whenever I get up.”

“I seem to remember someone who looked an awful lot like you waking us up before sunrise last year,” Magnus said with exaggerated confusion. “Perhaps you have a twin I haven’t met?”

Max fixed him with a withering look. “Last year, I was eleven. This year I’m twelve,” he said, as though that explained it.

“Well, I’m glad to hear you’ve grown out of it,” Alec told him. “Because I intend to sleep in. And if you try to get me out of bed early, I’ll remind you of this conversation.”

“Oh, no need for that, darling,” Magnus said cheerfully. “I’ll just barricade the door before we go to sleep so he can’t get to us.”

“Brilliant,” Alec said, giving Magnus a frankly sappy smile. “I knew there was a reason I loved you.”

“And on that note,” Jace said, “I think I’m going to head to bed before I die of sweetness overdose.”

“Oh, please,” Magnus said, giving him an unimpressed look. “We all saw you and Simon making eyes at each other over those cookies you were frosting earlier.”

“It’s true,” Izzy said before Jace could protest. “You don’t get to tease Alec about being a sap anymore, not now that we’ve all actually seen you with someone you love.”

Jace froze, his mouth half open, then quickly snapped it shut. It made sense that Izzy would assume. He’d brought Simon home for Christmas, after all. That was the story they were selling even if they hadn’t actually discussed it, even if it wasn’t something Jace had said or even implied. And whatever he did feel for Simon, it certainly wasn’t love. It was, at best, a friendly crush. A very intense friendly crush.

Izzy seemed to realize her mistake, glancing between him and Simon with a look of dawning panic.

“No, you’re misunderstanding how this works,” Simon said easily, because of course Izzy’s words hadn’t sent him into a panic the way they had Jace. “Jace gets to tease Alec, and you, and you both get to tease him back.”

“Yep,” Clary agreed. “Those are the rules, because that means I still get to tease Simon.”

“Please,” Izzy said. “Clary and I are too sophisticated to be sappy.”

“I’m pretty sure I heard you call Clary ‘cuddle bug’ earlier,” Alec said.

“And I definitely saw you laugh at that terrible joke she told at dinner,” Jace added.

“She ate one of the cookies you made,” Max accused.

“Yeah, sorry, cutie,” Clary said. “We’re really pretty sappy.”

“Fine,” Izzy huffed. “But I just think you’re all jealous because I’ve got the cutest girlfriend.”

“Yes, Izzy,” Alec said drily. “You’ve uncovered my secret. I’m extremely jealous of your girlfriend.”

“I knew it,” Izzy said smugly, as though Alec had been perfectly sincere.

“Definitely in danger of dying of sweetness overdose,” Jace said.

That set off another round of teasing, this time with Izzy throwing in not so subtle attempts to drag Maryse and Luke into it. Jace wasn’t sure why Izzy was so determined to make the two admit there was something between them. It was obvious there was just from the way they acted around each other. Maryse would tell them when she was ready, just like she had when she and Robert filed for divorce.

It was almost another hour before Jace finally made his way up the stairs toward his room. He was surprised when Simon rose to follow him, but didn’t say anything until they were back in his room.

“I’m surprised you didn’t stay to nerd out with Clary and Iz some more.”

“I get to talk to Clary all the time,” he said with a shrug. “Besides, it’ll be easier to keep up the whole fake boyfriend thing if I don’t let her get me alone. She’d definitely figure out something’s up if I let her start grilling me about our relationship. Also, you don’t get to call me a nerd when you know just as much about Star Wars as I do.”

“It’s impossible to grow up with Izzy and not know way too much about Star Wars,” Jace said, pulling off his shirt and tossing it over a chair. “Are you still sure about doing this? Neither of us counted on Clary, and I’ll understand if you want to back out.”

“Huh?” Simon said, sounding distracted. Jace turned to look at him and thought he detected the faintest flush on Simon’s cheeks when he met his eyes. “I mean, yeah, no, I’m not backing out.” He gave an uncomfortable shrug as he pulled a set of pajamas out of his suitcase. “The last thing I want is to have to explain this whole thing to Clary.”

“Good point,” Jace agreed, turning around to put on his own pajama bottoms. It was tempting to watch Simon change, but it was also a very bad idea. “I don’t want to think about what she’d have to say to both of us if she knew.”

There was a beat of silence before Simon asked, “So, do you, um, have a preferred side of the bed?”

Jace turned to look at him, only a little disappointed to find Simon fully dressed in his pajamas. As usual when someone asked a question he didn’t want to think about, Jace flashed a smirk. “In a bed this small, I usually just take up the whole thing.”

“Well, unless you want me on top of you, you should pick a side,” Simon said, unimpressed. “Because I’m not sleeping on the floor.”

“I’ll take the left,” Jace said quickly, trying and mostly failing to avoid thinking about exactly how much he did want Simon on top of him. “I’m just gonna hit the bathroom real quick.”

Which was how Jace found himself locked in the tiny guest bathroom, lip caught between his teeth as he frantically tugged at his cock. He hadn’t planned on jerking off, but he couldn’t get Simon’s words out of his head, and he sure as hell wasn’t getting into bed with Simon half-hard, which was really the only other option.

He could picture it far too easily. Simon pressing him into that ridiculously tiny bed, hands gentle but firm, mouth just a little bit desperate.

He came to the thought of rutting up against those ridiculous abs.

By the time Jace cleaned himself up and returned to his room, Simon was nestled under the covers on the right side of the bed. Seeing him like that made something in Jace’s chest clench, and he flipped the light off just so he wouldn’t have to look anymore.

“‘Night,” Simon said as Jace slid into bed, taking care to stay entirely on his side.

“Don’t even think about snoring,” Jace answered.

He lay in the dark for a long time, staring into the darkness, listening to the sounds of the city that didn’t quite drown out the soft breathing of the man beside him. He tried not to think about how easy and relaxed the night had been, how perfect it would have been if only half of it weren’t a lie.

#shadowhunters #shmb2021 #jimon #jimon fic #jace wayland #simon lewis

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thejolexgroupchat · 4 years ago

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the one where they met in med school - part nineteen

confrontations and loft spaces if you haven’t read part eighteen, you can find it here

(July 2008 cont.)

The next day was rough for both Jo and Alex. Neither of them got much sleep the night before and Alex realized very quickly that Jo was actively avoiding him when he walked into Meredith's hospital room and saw this disapproving look, on her face.

"You know?" Alex made a face.

"Izzie told me," Meredith replied. She huffed and narrowed her eyes. "I can't believe you said that to her."

"I can't believe I said that to her either,” Alex sighed. “I was angry and when I get angry, I lash out.”

“Yeah, I know,” Meredith shook her head at him. “Alex, you messed up. Badly. You came for her where it hurts the most. You don’t shove someone’s insecurities in their face.”

“I know that, Mer,” Alex huffed. “I know that… I was just so—so angry that I wanted her to hurt the way I was hurting. Which now that I say it out loud it sounds stupid because the one I should be hurting is Avery. God, I just want to pummel his face.”

“Don’t do that,” Meredith warned. “Nothing good can ever come out of that.”

“I make no promises,” Alex excused himself and left the room.

He was on Torres’ service today and would be helping assist on a spinal surgery with her and Shepherd. Alex walked up to the patient room where he was supposed to meet the two attendings and prep the patient for surgery. He stopped in his tracks when he saw Avery present, standing beside Shepherd.

The surgery would take all day, and Alex was dreading being stuck in an OR with his fellow resident. Alex scowled and glared at Jackson the entirety of the operation.

Jackson on the other hand, felt nervous. When he’d woken up that morning, the night before had been a blur. He’d had so much to drink that he was nursing a pretty bad hangover when he walked into the hospital that morning. He hadn’t even remembered the kiss he’d planted on Jo until he watched her skitter past him in the hallway, refusing to make eye contact.

He felt bad for what he’d done, because despite what Jo may have been thinking, Jackson wasn’t a bad guy. He was a guy that got a little too cocky after having a little too much to drink and went out in search of hints and clues that hadn’t been there to begin with to make him feel better about trying to make a move on Jo while she was clearly with Karev.

By the time the surgery ended, Jackson decided that he needed to talk to Alex once and for all, if he ever wanted the stares burning into the back of his head to stop. Jackson needed to find Alex and apologize. He also needed to apologize to Jo.

Jackson decided that the latter would probably be easier to talk to than the former. He made his way to the peds floor where he knew Jo had been working today. Jackson maneuvered his way around the floor searching for the woman he’d hoped he hadn’t completely ruined his friendship with. Finally spotting her, Jackson reached for Jo’s arm and pulled her into an empty linen closet.

“Jackson, listen. I don’t know what you think you saw or felt but I was not—”

“Jo, it’s okay. You don’t have to explain anything to me,” Jackson motioned for her to stop talking. “I just wanted to apologize for last night. I’m not usually that guy. I don’t know what came over me, but I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or cause you any trouble. I like you, but I wouldn’t ever try to purposely mess up your relationship. I respect you too much for that.”

Jo eyed him carefully, “Okay.”

“Okay?” Jackson tilted his head in confusion.

“I’ll accept your apology,” Jo crossed her arms in front of her.

“Really?” Jackson’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “I thought I was gonna have to work a little harder for that, but thank you.”

“It’s all in the past,” Jo shrugged. “Besides, all you did was open my eyes to issues that were already present in my relationship, so I guess I should thank you.”

“For what it’s worth, I think you shouldn’t give up so easily. I know Karev isn’t and I know I wouldn’t if I had you,” Jackson smiled shyly. “Anyway, I’m going to go talk to your boyfriend now, so wish me luck.”

“Be careful,” Jo warned. “Alex and I aren’t afraid to throw punches for each other.”

“I will.”

Jackson and Jo walked out of the linen closet and went their separate ways, each going in opposite directions. Alex—who’d come up to peds to see if he could finally get a moment alone with Jo—witnessed as the pair walked out of the room together.

Alex could see Jackson walking towards him. His fists balled in anger at the thought of what could’ve possibly happened in that linen closet. He clenched his teeth and watched as Jackson approached him and Jo walked out of sight. With his blood boiling in rage just like it had been over the previous hours, he tried to let it go, but failed. Swiftly and without even thinking, his fist found its way to Jackson’s jaw.

“What the hell, Karev?” Jackson winced while rubbing the impacted area. He felt Alex pull him by his scrub top into an on-call room and didn’t even react when he felt his body pressed against the wall.

“You listen here, Avery. You come here acting all snazzy and flirty with your money and your last name and your shiny pair of blue eyes, but she is mine, you hear me? Jo is the best thing to ever happen to me, and you are not going to take her away from me,” Alex twisted his hand around the newcomer’s shirt.

“I didn’t mean to cause any trouble,” Jackson surrendered, putting both his hands up.

“Yeah, but you did. And from what I remember from med school, you’re not a bad guy, so I have a feeling that you’re going to measure your words and actions from now on,” Alex said, pushing him away and letting go of the taller man. “Now, I hear you got stuff to do, so get going,” he added, eyeing Jackson as he made his way out the door and closed it just to open it again after a few moments.

“Karev,” Jackson called his attention. “Sorry about your girl,” he said before closing the door one last time and walking away.

Alex, now feeling a lot calmer than a few minutes before, decided to act mature. Running towards the door, he opened it and chased the other man.

“Avery,” Alex called out, making him turn around. “Sorry about your jaw.”

***

The next few days, Jo and Alex hardly ever saw each other. Partially because Jo was purposely avoiding him and partially because ever since Izzie, Lexie, and Cristina caught wind of Alex’s major screw-up, they’d been intercepting Alex’s every move. They wouldn’t allow him to get more than a hundred feet within Jo’s presence.

“Come on, you can’t do this forever. You can’t keep me from talking to her. She’s my girlfriend,” Alex argued with Cristina as she held up a hand in front of him so that he couldn’t walk out of the residents’ lounge to follow Jo. “Look, I know I was an ass, but we share a bedroom and I haven’t seen her in the past three days. She sleeps in Izzie’s room, she comes in to grab her clothes while I’m in the shower, she even took her damn pillow with her. ”

“No you listen right here, Evil Spawn. Jo has never, ever given you a reason not to trust her and now all of a sudden you assume the worst of her? Because what? You feel threatened by pretty-boy’s presence? Because he kissed your girl? What the hell is wrong with you?” Cristina slapped the side of his head. “Is it so horrifying to think that someone else might want her? Jo is hot and smart and funny and way too good to be putting up with your bullshit.”

“You think I don’t know that?” Alex exclaimed. “You think I don’t know that Jo could do so much better than me?” Alex let out a sigh of frustration. “I’m an ass, I’ve always been an ass. Jo saw that side of me and still loved me. She wanted me. Which is great and I’m thankful for it because I think she’s perfect. I think she’s amazing and everything any guy could ever want. So yeah, I feel threatened and I get defensive and mean and I lash out because I’m so freaking terrified she’s gonna realize that she could do so much better than me and leave me. Avery is better than me. He’s got the name and the looks and the money. And he’s a good, decent guy. He’s what she deserves. The years we’ve spent together will mean nothing if she finally realizes that there is someone out there that could offer her more than I ever could.”

“Are you dumb or stupid?” Cristina asked, prompting a scowl from Alex. “No, it’s a serious question. Are you an idiot? Because that might just be the dumbest thing I have ever heard come out of your mouth.”

“Oh shut up,” Alex glared at Cristina, walking away from her to sit on the bench behind them. “This is why people don’t tell you things.”

“Alex, I’m not making fun of you. I’m being serious,” Cristina sat next to Alex, eyeing him for a moment before speaking again. “You may be right, Avery might be everything you’re not but Jo doesn't care about that. There could be a million guys better than you lining up at her door begging her to be with them and she’s always going to choose you. She loves you, idiot. I don’t know why honestly, but that’s the only thing she cares about. She doesn’t care about the money or the name or how much that asswipe tries to butter her up with compliments, she’s only got eyes for your dumb ass. Get over your own insecurities before you push her away.”

“You make it sound so easy,” Alex sighed. “I’ve never felt like this before. I’ve never loved someone so much that I’m constantly worried that I’ll lose them. I’m used to losing people. I’m used to things being temporary and people turning their back on you or getting sick and being unable to help you or themselves. I’m used to all of that crap. But Jo… Jo’s the first person that I’ve ever had that I really can’t lose. I tell her all the time that I want forever with her, I tell her that I want to grow old with her, have kids with her, marry her one day. I tell her those things on a daily basis, but I hardly ever hear her say them in return. Sure she shows it, but it would be nice to hear it sometimes. It would be nice to know that she feels the same way too.”

Unbeknownst to Alex or Cristina, Jo had been listening in on the conversation from outside the lounge. She had left her ID badge in her locker so she’d made her way back down to retrieve it when she stumbled across the conversation going on between the pair of friends. Jo's heart sunk as she heard Alex's words of worry. She had no idea Alex felt that way. It was true, she didn't say it often, but Jo thought she'd made it clear that all she was waiting for was for Alex to ask and she'd marry him in a heartbeat. She didn't know that he was constantly terrified that she'd find someone better for her--as if that person existed--and leave him behind. She had to do something, say something that left him with no doubts about himself and the love she held for him.

***

The next morning, Jo walked up to Alex and pulled him into a nearby on-call room, interrupting the conversation he was having with Meredith who'd just returned to work. Alex raised his eyebrows in question when she locked the door behind them, "Oh, now you want to see me? After having Lexie, Izzie, and Cristina block me from getting within a hundred feet of you and switching with you so that you’re not stuck on a case with me all week?”

“Just shut up,” Jo leaned up and grabbed Alex’s face with both hands and leaned in to kiss him. Jo pulled away when she felt him tense up. “Alex, please. Relax.”

“Is this what you want from me? Sex? Because if that’s all you want, might as well go ask Avery. He’s more than willing to give it to you,” Alex pulled away and crossed his arms.

“Stop being an asshole,” Jo shoved him slightly. “God, I brought you in here because I miss you and I wanted to talk to you. Not because I want to use you for sex. I miss your voice and your hugs and your laugh and notes you slip into the pocket of my lab coat when I’m having a bad day and the way you wrap your arms around me when we sleep. But for some reason you think that I don’t care about those things. That I’m just using you to keep my bed warm until someone else comes along. I thought you knew me better than that.”

Alex had the decency to look a little ashamed of himself as he took a seat on one of the beds, “I’m sorry. I really am, Jo. I was… projecting my worries and fears onto you and that’s not fair to you. Not when all you’ve shown me is love and commitment.”

“I know,” Jo sighed. “Which is why I’m being much more gracious and forgiving than many people who advised me otherwise.” She sat down beside him. “This doesn’t mean that I’m excusing your behavior. Missing you and forgiving you doesn’t mean that what you did wasn’t wrong. It means that I love you enough to know that we are worth getting through this. After everything, what we have is too precious to just throw away.”

Alex spared a glance at Jo, “You’re not mad?”

“Oh, of course I’m mad. I’m livid and I’m hurt,” Jo replied, causing Alex to wince. “You are my best friend. You know me better than anyone has ever known me. You love me more than anyone has ever loved me. And still, you thought I was capable of betraying you? Of being unfaithful to you?” She blinked away a couple tears. “The fact that you don’t trust me hurt me more than anything. Because I trust you with everything, Alex. Even though it terrifies the crap out of me, I have given you all that I am and trusted you with it. I trust you with my medical decisions, my life, my body, my heart. So yeah, I’m hurt and upset, and I have every right to be. But you also have a right to be scared, because all your life you’ve been told that you aren’t good enough. And I get that, truly. Because for the longest time, I thought the same thing about myself. You know who showed me that I was good enough and worthy of love, though? You. You showed me that. So, now it’s time for me to show that you are too.”

Jo placed her hands back on Alex’s face, forcing him to look at her, “You are good enough. You are loved and worthy of every single bit of affection and care. You have the best, most kind, and gentle heart, even though you cover it up and I’m the only one who ever really gets to see it. Not everyone’s like you. Not everyone is good. There is no one who could ever replace you. Not when you take up every single one of my spare thoughts and when you practically hold my heart in your hands.”

Alex pressed his forehead against Jo’s, “God. I’m a jerk, aren’t I?”

“Sometimes,” Jo chuckled. “But it doesn’t take away from how good you are.”

“I don’t wanna fight anymore,” Alex released a breath. “I know I’ve still got things I need to work on and fix, but I don’t want to fight with you. This whole thing started because I was blinded with jealousy and scared I was gonna lose you. The most ironic thing is that for a minute there, I thought it was over. I thought I had really screwed it up this time. And it would’ve been my fault, because my behavior drove you away.”

“We’re not over,” Jo assured him. “I don’t ever want us to end. I want to die holding your hand like in the super cheesy rom-coms that Izzie and Lexie can watch for hours and sob over.”

“I do too,” Alex kissed Jo soundly. “Come back to our room. I hate sleeping without you. I can’t sleep without you.”

“Me neither,” Jo responded. She stood up and extended her hand. “Come on, we have to get to work. But I’ll see you tonight after our shifts?”

“Yeah.”

***

“Would you mind taking a detour?” Jo said as soon as Alex got inside the car later that evening when they walked out of the hospital.

“Why? Do you need me to drive you somewhere?” he looked at her. She could see the tiredness all over his eyes, but was too excited and nervous to back out.

“I want to take you somewhere. I know you’re tired, but this is really important to me,” she grabbed his hand.

“Okay, then. Wherever it is, here we go,” Alex shot a smile at her.

***

“What are we doing here? What is this place?” Alex frowned as they walked inside the empty space.

“It’s a loft space,” Jo followed him across the room.

“Jo, it’s a crime scene,” he turned around, facing her.

If he was honest, the place looked worse than a crime scene. It had clearly been occupied by wildlife and probably some of the homeless people he had seen outside, the whole room smelling of urine. He couldn’t really understand why Jo had been so insistent on bringing him here.

“Stop. You’re ruining it,” Jo complained, a frown playing onto her lips.

“Someone beat me to that,” he chuckled.

“Shut up. It’s all I can afford,” Jo stopped right in front of him, arms crossed as she avoided meeting his eyes.

“What?” Alex shook his head in confusion, trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together.

“I took everything. All my savings, everything that I had, and it was almost enough to cover the whole thing,” Jo said.

“Wait. You’re buying this? Alex stared at her incredulously.

“Well, we are, if you want to pitch in. I put in an offer,” Jo looked at Alex nervously, sounding almost doubtful about the words coming out of her mouth.

Alex looked around one more time. The space that had previously looked so useless to him suddenly gained a lot more meaning and potential. Still, he didn’t really know how to respond to what she was saying.

“This is what I want, Alex. I am very thankful for Meredith. She has been such a good friend, allowing all of us to live with her, but this is what I want. Our own place, for us. I saw this place, and I know it’s not much, and it’s obvious that we won’t be able to live here forever, especially if we ever decide to have a family of our own, but we can make it anything, whatever we want. Because I love you. And I love living with you, but I think it’s time for us to have our own place, just us. If you want that, if that’s what you want too. And, you know, it would make me the happiest person in the world if you did, because there isn’t anyone in the world I’d want to do this with. Hell, there isn’t anyone in the world that makes me safe enough to do this,” Jo paused. “I know I’d don’t say it very often, but I want it on record that I said it twice in one day. I want to be with you until I die. This is a step towards that. I want to build a life and a home with you. So, what do you say?” Jo asked. She was scared, but hopeful he would want to do that with her.

Alex pulled her close to his chest and closed the space between their lips. “I love you so much, Josephine,” he said, their foreheads touching while they smiled.

“So, is this a yes?” she asked.

“This is a hell yes. Let’s make this place our home.”

Did you ever doubt that we would fix it ? let us know what you thought about this chapter and what you'd hope to see later on in the comments below!

#jolex #jolex fanfic #alex karev #jo wilson #the one where they met in med school #jolex au #grey's anatomy #grey's anatomy fanfic #jo x alex #grey's anatomy au #confrontations #loft spaces #meredith grey #jackson avery #cristina yang #izzie stevens #lexie grey

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