#i saw a couple images of the banana like last month or something i think

[fully-caulked-wagon]

wHAT

Is Is the peanut butter jelly time banana becoming a fucking sexyman? Is that's what's happening right now? I think that's worse than the meme itself making a resurgence. what.

[vanderlustwords]

What if Steve leaves and she finds out she’s pregnant? I really love your alternate ending where he leaves for Peggy and wondering if you could write more about it. Doesn’t have to be him leaving a child behind that was just a question that popped into my head

Pairing: (past) Steve Rogers x Reader, Bucky Barnes x Reader

Please do not repost/translate anywhere. Reblogs/Comments are much welcomed ♥

Continuation of: This Dress is Karma || Alternate Ending

Warnings: unbeta'd. Angst ending for Steeb.

Note: I don't know how you roped me into writing a 2.3k continuation but here I am LOL

Count: ~2.3k

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You shut the door with a soft click, waiting until you hear the quiet footsteps fade away. The lump in your throat gets harder to swallow as you turn around, leaning back against the door and let out a shaky sigh.

You can't help but think those were some brave words you said to Steve. You desperately wanted them to be true. You did want to be so happy that it would physically pain Steve if he were to ever witness it.

You wanted it to be true that you were never going to see him again because he had hurt you so much, and he needed to stay away from you.

But when you lift your trembling hand to your stomach, you wonder if everything you said had been nothing more than a brave front.

"You alright?"

You immediately look up and see Bucky stepping out of the guest room, fully dressed with towel-dried hair.

You swallow and force a smile as you drop your hand.

"Yeah, you ready to head out?" You ask him as you stand up straight.

Bucky nods with a grumble before he grabs a strand of his hair. "I need a haircut first, though. Do you think we could find a barber first?"

"Sure," you say, turning around and opening the door with Bucky following you behind.

"You sure everything is okay?" Bucky asks you again.

The way your throat feels raw, the hysterical words that want to escape your mouth make you feel dizzy. You want to put your hand against your stomach again as if to see if you could suddenly feel a bump.

But you refrain because Bucky would get suspicious. Well, he'd probably think you had a stomachache first, but if you didn't stop acting strange, he would pry.

"Everything's fine," you mumble.

⊶⊶⊶⊶⊶✞⊷⊷⊷⊷⊷

As the weeks pass, more and more things begin to slip from you.

There is a layer of never-ending panic that sits right beneath your skin, crawling and setting your nerves on fire.

When you began to get morning sickness and threw up into the toilet, you began to shake.

The reality of your situation began to hit you.

You were pregnant.

With Steve's child.

Steve, who had abandoned you and was grey and old and probably would pass away soon.

The notion of it all had you throwing up in the toilet again.

You were alone, and you were scared.

What were you going to do? You couldn't rely on Steve anymore.

You looked down at your relatively flat stomach still, placing your hand against it.

There was a life growing inside you. What were you going to do?

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It was harder to hide when Bucky came over almost every other day, even though he didn't live with you. He had stayed for a week after the confrontation with Steve but quickly found his own place.

Initially, that had made you feel more alone, like everyone couldn't wait to escape from you. But it had worked out when you needed alone time.

Bucky was currently in your kitchen, cooking up steaks for lunch for the two of you.

The smell of it made you deathly pale.

"What's going on with you?" Bucky asked with a frown as he set the steaks aside to rest.

You had to swallow hard before you could answer. "Nothing," you said weakly. "I'm—I'm sorry. I know you came all the way here to cook but I'm not really hungry."

"You've been saying that for days now, doll," Bucky pursed his lip. "I feel like I haven't seen you eat a proper meal lately. What's going on? I know things have been...hard. Especially since you last saw Steve, but this isn't okay. I need you to eat something in front of me that isn't pretzels, bananas, or bread."

The idea of sliding a piece of steak basted in butter had your stomach knot itself painfully.

You shook your head, but when Bucky insisted, slicing the steak and you watched the juices run, you couldn't hold it in anymore.

You took off to the bathroom in haste.

"Hey—" Bucky called out and took off after you, but you were quick to shut the door before you fell to your knees over the toilet and hurled.

"What's wrong?" Bucky yelled through the door, trying to jiggle it open but found you had locked it. "Open the door, doll. I just want to make sure you're okay."

"I'm fine," you said shakily as you grabbed some toilet paper and wiped your mouth, eyes hot with tears. "I just—I just haven't been feeling well."

The silence on the other side of the door only lingered for a moment before Bucky used his metal arm to turn the doorknob so hard, it broke open.

He found you sitting on the floor, over the toilets, eyes rimmed red and your face pale.

Bucky carefully walks in and kneels slowly before you.

He thinks back the couple of weeks and how you've been going to the bathroom a lot more, and how you don't like going to restaurants to eat. You've been eating at home and the strangest things and wearing more flowy shirts.

He looks at your face, and the way you're trying to hold back your tears makes Bucky feel dread.

"Doll..." he calls you softly. "Are you—Are you pregnant?"

You let out a choked sob in response, face dropping as you close your eyes.

Bucky's quick to hold you in his arms as he strokes your back, his heart dropping.

There was only one person who could've gotten you pregnant.

There had been some dumb shit Steve's done the entire time Bucky's known him. Always getting into scraps he couldn't finish, always prideful when Bucky wanted to help him.

But it had been the first time Bucky's ever been so fucking pissed at Steve. It was the first time Bucky couldn't defend or make an excuse for his friend.

"Bucky, what am I going to do?" You trembled in his arms. "I can't—Steve isn't—I want to keep it but I'm alone."

Bucky swallowed so hard it was painful.

There was no fucking way he was ready to be a dad or step up in any kind of way—that is, if you even let him.

Fuck, you two didn't even have feelings for each other or anything. There was something, maybe, Bucky thought for the future. But now?

"You're not alone," Bucky reassured, keeping his voice still for your sake. "I'm here. I'm here all the way and I'm not gonna leave you, doll. Ever."

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You manage to keep the fact that you're pregnant under the wraps easily. It helps that since saving the world, no one really meets up anymore. A part of you worries because you can't find Wanda anywhere, but you know she can find you if she wanted to.

Sam might be the only other person who knows, and Bucky was begrudging when accepting his help.

Months pass, and you're surprised how dedicated Bucky is. You're pretty sure you're on the verge of a mental breakdown constantly. A part of you worries Steve will show up, but Bucky reassures you that there's nothing Steve could do even if he did show up.

"Fuck..." you swore as Bucky was in the middle of figuring out how to build the crib the two of you got from Ikea. He looks up at you alarmingly. "I think my water just broke."

"Oh, shit, okay, okay!" Bucky jumps up right away and starts running around to grab the prepared bag as he helps you out into the car. "Don't panic!"

"Bucky, I'm literally about to push a baby out of my body. I'm going to fucking panic if I want to," you snap, and Bucky bites his lip to refrain from speaking as he zips through traffic.

"Oh, god," you say under your breath. You were having a baby. You were actually going to have a baby.

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"Bucky, you can't just carry her everywhere," you grumbled as you pushed the stroller through the park. "You're spoiling her."

"Yes, I can. She wants me to carry her and whatever my princess wants, she gets." Bucky declared indignantly at you while sticking his tongue out.

You sighed with a smile.

You couldn't believe a year has passed. Despite the time passing, you never really felt fully prepared as a mother. You were scared you were fucking it up all the time if you're honest.

Bucky holds your hand, and you give him a shy smile. That was new too. Slow and steady, as Bucky has always been, and you think you were falling for him because of that.

When you look up, your heart stops.

"Oh," Steve blinked.

Another year has passed, but you find Steve doesn't look too different. A little more tired perhaps, but still...Steve.

You feel panic creep up in your chest that threatens to become a panic attack before Bucky squeezes your hand.

"Breathe, doll," he whispers encouragingly to you, but it's loud enough for Steve to catch.

You do as he says, taking a few calming breaths. You want to keep walking, but it seems Steve can't stop staring at the child in Bucky's arms.

"Why don't you take Hazel to the pond? She really likes looking at the ducks," you tell Bucky, and he nods, warily looking at you and Steve. He sends Steve a curt nod before he takes the stroller with him and walks off.

Steve's eyes trail after Bucky.

You know then that he knows. It's not hard after all. Hazel looks like a spitting image of Steve, something that had been hard for you to deal with at first. Her blonde hair and blue eyes—the blue eyes were easier since Bucky's eyes were blue too, even if a darker shade.

But Hazel was so lovely; you loved her so easily.

"When did you know?" Steve asked.

You shrugged. "The day before we all saved the world."

"Why didn't you say anything?" Steve's voice was pained and betrayed, and you cocked your brow at him.

"Why? So you would stay?"

"Yes, I would have!" Steve insisted.

The sheer stupidity of the situation had you give a humourless laugh.

"The last thing I want is for you to stay because of a baby, Steve. You wanted to leave, despite everything, you chose to leave. We would only hate each other in the long run."

"That's not true," Steve denied. "When I made that choice, it wasn't because I didn't love you anymore."

"No, you just didn't love me enough."

The words rang clear, almost throwing Steve off-kilter.

The silence fell, and the two of you could hear Hazel laughing with Bucky in the distance as she shrieked.

"Don't you think I deserved to know about her?" Steve asked with his lips pursed.

"No," you answered honestly. "What do you, a 90 something-year-old man, have to offer her? You certainly can't step up and be her father. Your time keeps running out and the last thing I need is for Hazel to have instability. Did you want to be her grandfather? She's already met mine, so do you want to pretend to be Bucky's?"

"So, you're just gonna lie to her and let her think Bucky is her dad?"

Your eyes flash angrily.

"Bucky is her dad. He's the only dad that counts in every way. Do you know how hard it was for me? I was scared shitless, Steve. You can delude yourself into thinking otherwise, but you're unreliable. I couldn't come to you for help," you snap at him. "Do you know who was there every time I was puking my guts out, crying or screaming, or wanted pickles with peanut butter at 2AM? Who do you think was there for every appointment. Who bought fifty parenting and baby books to study religiously? It was Bucky. Even though I knew he was scared too, he was there. So, don't fucking try to make me and Bucky look like the bad guy. You have NOTHING to offer to Hazel."

Steve stood there wide-eyed, guilt crowding over his eyes. Steve doesn't want to say he regrets going back because that would mean a lifetime of regrets he can't get back.

"You're right," Steve said slowly, trying to appease your anger. "I'm sorry. You didn't deserve that. It's not my place to say anything."

Even though Steve says it, he looks over to the little girl squealing in Bucky's arms. He looks at her blonde hair that she clearly got from him and your nose.

He and Peggy had children—children he loved more than anything.

But...the idea of his child with you...that was another reality he missed.

It seems to be that way always for him, Steve thought somberly. He was always missing something. Maybe you had been right about him.

Steve listens as you take a deep breath in and exhale.

"Do you want to meet her?" You offer, and Steve can tell it's difficult for you to say those words.

"If you're okay with it," Steve said slowly.

You nod stiffly. "It's fine as long as you respect my wishes and refrain from telling her you're her bio dad. I want to save that conversation for when she's older and able to understand it more."

You don't say it, but Steve is already thinking how he'll most likely be gone by then.

The two of you begin to walk towards Bucky and Hazel.

"What will you tell her?" Steve asked.

"The truth," you shrug. "That you were the world's greatest hero and you loved her and would've loved to get to know her if you stayed, but you didn't and it wasn't her fault."

"Right, it was mine," Steve felt a sting in the back of his throat.

"I don't think it was anyone's fault," you tell him. "It's just karma, Steve. I wasn't enough for you and now you're not enough for Hazel."

Right, Steve thought somberly as he looked at you in your summer dress. It was different from the sexy red one that used to drive him insane.

It was a calm peace, a show of your motherhood and graceful maturity.

This dress is karma, too.

[raeloganthesonic06fangirl]

Wanted to draw, but then the laptop decided it was time to spend all day doing updates, so I decided to share some scrapped and WIP doodles instead for some of my sketches for the Amnesia AU

I'm gonna put this under a Read More because it's quite a few, and a couple of them has some unsettling imagery that depict Jacky after the initial accident, so I wanna give a slight forewarning although nothing is colored and most everything is in blue linework anyway.

Starting off a little fluffy here, but I gave up on trying to figure out how to make Claire's beak was going to work here, but anyway, that little playful dance scene.

Jacky from the Faux-80s era thing (the non descript pre-snappage setting that I decided technically takes place in the 80s but the DWD comics created a snarl by boosting technology to mimic the 2010s despite the original cartoon being in the 90s and no one aged a single gosh dang day), and its that one hospital visit where he's molting from a stress-rash brought on by the anxiety during that trial over the recall on his products. Mostly a quick loose doodle to get a visual on how absolutely uncomfortable he's feeling.

Nothing in particular, he's just freaking hyped over something.

Face. Nothing else, I don't even think I wanted to draw anything other than face. A little more on-model than usual, tho.

Very sassy "Y'all seein' this junk??" More proportionately closer to my general style, but I didn't get around to lining and coloring this one yet.

Blanket cocoon, Jacky trying to get over that cold he got while insisting he's fine, but Claire thinks otherwise

Figment!Jacky as seen during the fever chapter when Jacky starts imagining him as he saw himself on the tape of the "Fell Out The Window And Cracked His Skull Like An Egg" incident that landed him here to begin with. Originally described a little more scuffed in the story proper, I wanted to figure out a design to work with for the illustration purposes (I wanted to keep the image put in the AO3 release to not go as hard as the actual words, and also drawing injury to a blorbo is way freaking harder to endure than typing a few words down because you gotta stare at that the whole time making it ahhhhhhhh) that adhered to the description, minus the... um... stains, so one working idea was to draw the headfeathers more ruffled to give the indication that the injury still existed. Also, there's like NO reference images of QuackerJack with his cap askew so I had to figure out how the angling and eyeholes are going to work, so you can imagine this is a challenge for me.

POV: You're Darkwing and this is the moment where the AU starts, after QuackerJack was launched out of a third story window by two large sentient banana toys. He's got the concussion of a lifetime from hitting concrete, and doesn't remember the last four months (AKA: My initial estimate for the timeline of the first half of the comics). He doesn't realize that his life is in your hands right now. Good luck, Darkwing.

This was intended to be the illustration of the incident, but I still can't figure out how to tone it down while still keeping the urgency of the scene intact. Again, blorbos in ouch ain't exactly fun to draw but I suppose the solace in this is knowing that he gets taken care of and put on the mend right away, so it's not like this is totally bleak, but still... this has been sitting on the backburner for months...

Let's do a palate cleanser for a sec after that jarring image. This ain't got anything to do with the AU, but it's still a neat unfinished sketch.

Not exactly part of the AU, but remember that Wereduck!Jacky thing I did around October last year? Here's a playful sketch of him wagging his tailfeathers with his tongue out because he am puppy.

And that's a handful. I tend to scrap things if I either just don't like how the layout is or if I'm unsure if it's appropriate yet to do so, either because spoilers or because I don't think enough context could make it make sense yet.

[binniesthighs]

don’t you forget about me | reader x jeongin

it’s the last day that you might ever see him again, so, to hell with it, right? (image from straykidsfilm on twt!) 

please read the CWs bc this fic talks about body image!! this is something close to me as well, and I wanted to share some cute innie love!! <3 

hey you reading this! you’re gorgeous ;) 

don’t you forget about me | reader x jeongin 

Pairing: self insert, female reader x yang jeongin 

Genre:  fluff n’ smut 

Tags: high school crush au (everyone depicted in this fic is at least 18), virgin!reader, virgin!jeongin, plussize!reader (i think this is the right tag, if not plz correct me!) first time au, cuties in love, softdom!jeongin, (hehe ya know I love me a soft dom), sub!reader, unprotected sex (stay safe cuties!) semi-public sex, nipple play (f), fingering (f), cumshot, somewhat of a quickie, dirty talking, lil bit of a corruption kink, cute fluffy undertones!

CWs: brief mention of a fistfight and blood/wounds, insecurity over weight and descriptive narrative about body weight/appearance and negative self image 

Word count: 7.1k 

Word had spread that someone had gotten into a fight on the last day of school.  Supposedly, it had occurred during the second to last hour of the day, and it was a group of three to four boys. The rest of the details had been unclear, but you had heard mutterings about their names, or how each of them had walked into the principal’s office with bloodied knuckles, fat lips, and purple bruises to their cheekbones. You had heard that one of them had laughed in the face of the principal, claiming that they simply had it coming. 

“I heard that they were from class A-4. Or was it A-3?” 

Your friend leaned over with her skirt ruffling on her plastic chair. 

“Who could be so stupid?” She strung her bubble-gum around her finger with cracked nail-polish. “Are they looking to graduate, or what?” 

“I don’t know...” 

In your lap, you hands grew clammy with sweat. It was against your will, but you couldn’t but help thinking...

Yang Jeongin was in class A-4. 

Your chest tightened thinking about if it had been him that had gotten in the fight. 

It was no secret that you had harbored a crush on the boyishly handsome student from the other class of your same year. You had read or seen somewhere that the reason that they called crushes “crushes” was because they did just that--they crushed you to the full extent of the word. Whoever had said that, you had learned that they were 100% right. Having a crush on Yang Jeongin had been the most painful experience of your life. Since middle school, it had been something that you had scribbled in your diary, and the reason why you would hold your breath when he walked by with his friends, or when you’d see him on the same bus as you. 

You can’t exactly recall when it started, it just kind of did. 

There was nothing extremely notable about him: he wasn’t his class president, he wasn’t the ace of a sports team, nor did he even have friends who really were notable either. No matter how much you pondered it, you couldn’t figure out what it was about him. 

Yang Jeongin was known for having a kind smile and a jovial laugh, so you just decided that it must’ve been one of these things. This semester he had ashy-grey brown hair, and your best friend still hadn’t heard the end of it from you. Over time, you had learned that he liked banana milk with his lunch and kept a fox enamel pin on his backpack. He had worn the same beat up sneakers for all of high school and wore this same grey hoodie on most days when it would get cold. 

A couple times you had imagined what it would’ve been like if he had let you borrow it on the days when it would mist on spring mornings, or when snow would fall early in November. There had even been times when you imagined him holding your hand, walking down the hall, wrapping his arm around your shoulder to hold you close...among other things. Somehow, you liked to think that he would be the kind of person who would love you more than you could love yourself. Granted, you never could know for sure. Being optimistic made up half of your fantasies. 

“Just confess already.” 

Your best friend had said half a million times over the course of the years. 

The more you had contemplated it, the less sense that it made. A confession would’ve been a whole lot easier if he had known who you were. 

“There's no way.” You had said morosely. “As if he would say yes to me.” 

“Can’t know unless you try.” Your friend smiled, sucking at her lollipop on the walk home. “Don’t pretend like you’ve never written him a confession letter before...” Her backpack hopped up and down with her arms outstretched animatedly in that alley decorated with vines. “...Where do you keep them? In your desk? Under your bed? In your sock drawer?” 

“Oh shut up!!” You nudged her, sending her spiraling out with laughter. 

“If it’s the last day of school, you’ve got nothing to loose! You’ll never see him again! If he says no, no big deal!” 

The clock ticked on the wall to your classroom, the seconds hand moving silently faster and faster the more that you looked at it. Under your desk, your fingertips pricked the edges of the pink envelope. You had written your the name as nicely as you could with flowery cursive with tiny flowers. On the back, you had sealed it with a sticker: an orange fox. 

Your throat grew dry seeing only six minutes before the bell would ring, and then the metal legs of chairs would scrape on the floor, the hallway would flood with students, and you would make your way to his locker and pray that he would stop by there. In many ways, just thinking about it was enough to make your stomach do somersaults and for your hands to wet even more embarrassingly with sweat. Your knees felt limp, and you wondered if you even had it in you. 

Even worse, a deeper fear crept in the back of your mind--it was much more venomous and horrifying, but you couldn’t keep it down. You feared that he would laugh in your face, throw the letter down, and throw his head back at you and how ridiculous your moment of confidence had been. 

How could be like someone like me? 

Perhaps your biggest fear of all, even greater than the rejection, was him admitting that he could never like someone like you. 

Your skirt was tighter on you than most, at least, tighter than it was on the other girls. When you would shop at the school uniform store, you could never escape the glares from the ladies when you and your mother asked for the larger sizes that they had. Your soft cheeks were plush and squishy, and your belly striped with stretch marks that you had stopped looking at in the mirror. Because it was more comfortable, you wore leggings under you skirt, even in the warmer months, even if it made you sweat. Oversized sweaters would swim over your frame, for the very reason that you could swim in them. 

As optimistic as you could be, there had been some nights worse than the others where tears would wet your eyes before sleep, no matter how many affirmations and positive sticky notes you had pasted to the back of your bedroom door. 

How could I like someone like you? 

It would be so easy for him to say it. Words flicked off the tongue hastily are the ones that often hurt the most. You just hoped and hoped that he had been everything that you had made him to be...as unrealistic as it was. 

The bell chimed, and you felt your heart leap into your throat when the room erupted into cheers and papers and desks went flying and screeching around the floor. 

“Are you ready?” Your friend winked, and the corners of the letter pricked your fingers. 

~💌~

With some stroke of luck, he was exactly where you had wanted him to be. Even then, some small part of you had secretly had hoped that he hadn’t just so you could walk away. You would’ve walked away from him, that school, everyone who had known you and just let it be. However, fate had been much kinder to you...damned fate. 

Your heart quickened upon seeing him. He was wearing that same grey hoodie with the drawstrings that he would tie into bows sometimes, and that same enamel pin shone silver on his backpack. You realized that it even looked almost exactly like the sticker you had used. His navy uniform slacks were dusted with dirt however, and one of the knees had a bit of a tear to it. In your horror, you then saw the scrapes on his face: one right under his eye, on his left cheek, and a thin red line on his bottom lip where it had cracked open. Before you could think of anything else, seeing how much it must’ve hurt him made your heart twist.

From your backpack, you drew out the rest of the stuff that you had prepared, and tried your best not to collapse from the way that your knees trembled. 

“H-hi...” You announced, head down, and mouth deathly dry. 

Yang Jeongin whipped his head over to see you, slightly startled. Up this close you could see his adorable brown eyes that even looked at if they glistened with stars in them. 

“...Hi?” He returned, closing his locker, and wetting his lips. 

Your heartbeat rang in your ears, and you quickly presented him with the letter, the carton of banana milk with the heart sticker on top, and the tiny case of animal shaped cookies. 

With eyes glued to the floor and his beat up gym shoes, you said the words as fast as humanly possible, “I-know-that-you-don’t-know-who-I-am-but-I’ve-really-liked-you-for-such-a-long-time-now-and-seeing-as-its-the-last-day-of-school-I-wanted-to-tell-you-so-please-accept-this!!” 

You waited for what felt like hours, then he took the items from your hands with a tentative touch. “Um...thank you...for this.” 

This was it. It was happening. You had already known that it wouldn’t get much better, and the way that he looked petrified only made you feel even more heat rush to your cheeks. Even then, now that the words had escaped your lips for the whole universe to hear, it felt good in some small, relieving way.  

“Y-you don’t have to say anything back. Please don’t...don’t feel obligated to, I just...” Your voice trailed, and your eyes wandered to the exit door behind him, and the green of the summery trees. 

I should just leave. It would be better if I left. If I walk away, this is all over...

The hem of your skirt tickled your nervous fingers, and you had nearly made up your mind. You wished at least that he would say something rather than just staring. 

“I-I can just...leave, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry...how could I think that...nevermind.” 

It took everything that you had, but you blinked the tears that stung the corners of your eyes and you hiked your backpack straps up a little higher. 

You motioned to the things in his hands, “I hope that you enjoy those things and...good luck at university.” 

You flashed a feeble smile for him, right back to his astonished face. Just outside of the exit, there was the rest of the world in front of you, and you also took peace in the fact that it really was a really nice day then. 

“W-wait!!” He suddenly said with a slight crack to his voice, turning after you to grab at your wrist too. As soon as he did, his eyes widened, the the gruff voices of a group of boys echoed down the hall. 

“Where is that shithead?? This isn’t over.” The tall boy from class A-4 balled up his hand into a fist, and smacked it into his palm. The tall boy and about three of his friends also had red knuckles and scratches on their faces, each to a varying level of degree. 

“Shit.” Jeongin bit his lip, and his grip on your wrist tightened. “Uh-can you come with me?? This way?? Fuck--” He nodded toward the opposite hallway, and your head spun thinking why he would want you to come with him. 

“What?? Why??” 

“Just--” He watched the boys coming frantically and hid behind his locker door. “They’ll beat the shit out of me again. Just....come on!” 

A nervous thrill sent a shiver down your spine feeling his hand and the warmth there while he guided you, pushing and parting the sea of bodies chatting and hugging each other goodbye. 

“Where are we going?” You called to him, and the little carton of banana milk swayed in his opposite hand. 

“I don’t know. Anywhere.” 

You followed him further and further, through the hallways that had emptied of students or any semblance of them. Shades had been pulled in most of the empty rooms, and the chairs had been placed on top of the tabletops of desks. Both of your shoes squeaked under the flooring when you turned corners, and the sound of his nervous panting became louder and louder. Where he held you, the sleeve of his sweater bushed up against you, and it was even softer than you had imagined. 

Jeongin pulled at several doorknobs, finding them to be locked, head turning to see if the group of boys had followed. At last, he found one that did unlock, and he threw it open on its hinges as quickly as he could. It was one of the storage closets for the theater department, and it was dustily coated on all surfaces and even moldy smelling, with not a window to be found. Jeongin flicked on the light, revealing the stacks of props and furniture that you vaguely remembered seeing in performances in the past. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to pull you so hard.” Jeongin finally said. 

“It...it’s okay.” 

“If I got caught with them again I might as well kiss college goodbye...” He raked an anxious hand through his hair. “I didn’t mean to fight with them before...” 

“Are...you okay?” You softened your tone, seeing the way that the pink marks on his face must’ve been made against the hard cement of the floor outside. 

“I-I’m fine. Thank you.” 

His eyes really did look like they glistened. 

“It...it’s really funny actually...” He shoved his hand into his pocket, fumbling with the contents with a shaking hand, then took out a crumbled piece of notebook paper that had been torn. “Take it.” He prompted with wide eyes. 

“Me??” 

“Who else?” He laughed lightly. 

The note had been written in black ink, and it smudged and bled to the other side of the paper, and the scribbled handwriting looked rushed as if it was an afterthought or some kind of crazed ramble. You unfolded it all the way, starting at the first sentence. 

dear y/n from A-2, 

you probably don’t know my name, but I’m yang jeonjin jeongin from class A-4, i wanted to write this to tell you that I think that youve you’re really  pretty, beautiful and that i’ve been kind of watching you for about a year now, i’m sorry if that’s creepy but, yeah, i just think that you’re really cool and i like it when you smile. i’m sorry that i didn’t say anythimg aything anything about this sooner, i was kind of shy about it to be honest, i didn’t want you to thank think that I was being disrespectful or anything like that, but seeing that its the last day of shcool school and I don’t have a ton to lose loose lose i thought that it was worth a shot. if this doesn’t go the way id i’d like it to, please don’t stop smilng smiling ♥

-yji 

By now, the boy from A-4 was swaying his body back and forth almost violently as he waited for you to read the letter and fiddled with his arms crossed. His teeth tugged at his lip, and he anxiously awaited for you to say something. Little did he know that reading his words you were so shocked that you were certain that you had forgotten how to breathe for a couple moments. 

“M-me? You mean this...for me?” 

“Yeah?” He advanced to take the letter back, “I’m really sorry if it’s creepy, I know that you don’t know me at all and we’ve never spoken, this must be really startling but...I wasn’t expecting for you to write me one too.” 

The adorable boy blushed and rubbed the back of his neck with a tiny growing smile. 

“S-sorry that I was so quiet earlier, I was just really surprised.” Jeongin flipped your letter over too, then gasped a little seeing the fox on the back. “Oh.” 

On the other side of the door, the loud and clambering footsteps of that group of idiotic boys clomped and they grunted among themselves asking where Jeongin had went. The two of you held your breath, and soon the voices receded. Once they passed, you threw your backpack around to scramble around the front pocket, pulling out a Band-Aid that must’ve been there for at least a year, but it still worked the same. 

“Here...do you need it?” 

“Oh! Um-no, but, thank you.” 

A silence filled the dusty room, and Jeongin awkwardly moved to sit on one of the old prop couches. He patted the spot next to him, beckoning you to do the same. 

“The timing...kinda sucks.” 

You laughed slightly, “That’s sort of my fault.” 

“--My fault too.” He quickly added. “I’m sorry that I didn’t get the chance to know you sooner. Maybe we could’ve...” Jeongin dug his fingers into the velvety upholstery. 

Slowly, your sinking insecurities started to creep like vines with thorns, and the words spilled out of your mouth before you had something to do with it. 

Maybe he’s just being nice? Are you really certain that letter was meant for you? 

“I guess that I’m just really surprised that you of all people could end up liking someone like me. Someone...that looks like me.”

The young boy cocked his head with his eyebrows confusedly crossed. “I don’t see what you mean?” 

“‘Cause I’m like...” You motioned to your thighs, a bit chubbier, your larger breasts, and your skirt riding up your legs too. “...like this?” 

“But there’s nothing wrong with you?” 

“Psh...”nothing wrong with me”...” You laughed with sarcasm at the comment. “Have you seen the other girls in the school? Some of them are frickin’ idols for crying out loud...” 

Jeongin’s eyes widened, and he scooched in a bit closer, but slowly; carefully. “What I’m trying to say is...that there’s no one else like you! And--” 

“--That’s exactly it. I’m not like everyone else...” 

Jeongin blabbered, and his hand found yours resting on your lap. “I-I’m not s-saying that’s a bad thing! I’m saying that the reason why you stood out to me was because I think...” He shied, cheeks becoming even rosier. “...Because you just seemed so happy all the time, like, you didn’t care what others did or thought of you, I could tell, even from kind of far away, that you were someone who’s real not some kind of made-up thing that you put on every morning for the rest of the world to see you as. Also...” He giggled, “I just thought that you were really cute too.”

His thumb brushed up against the back of your hand, and you couldn’t help but smile at the small feeling. 

“I mean...I do think about what people think of me, I think about it all the time...” 

“I do too.” He said quietly. “Why else did I let it get so far that I let four guys gang up on me outside school?” 

You didn’t press him for more, but merely let your opposite hand rest of top of his as you watched his expression fall. When he was in school, you had only ever seen him smile, but now seeing him like this, it was a whole other side. He looked up at you with his pleading eyes, and they were utterly gorgeous. 

“My mom...my mom doesn’t make a ton of money. She barely makes enough to send to me school here, or buy me stuff like new clothes or uniforms each year. I almost never see her because she has to work so hard for me and my brothers...those...assholes had something to say about it and I kind of...snapped. No one can say shit about my mom when they don’t know how hard that she works for us.” 

Your eyes fell to his scuffed and worn sneakers, and it all made sense. 

“Then they found the letter...I didn’t want them to ruin the last good thing that I had going for me.” 

In that moment, the whole world became silenced. You were the last good thing going for him and you had never even known. 

Then, he smiled, broken as it was, bit it was still embodied his gentle warmth that you had fallen in love with all those years ago. 

“But! It turned out okay I think.” Jeongin said with a sigh. He glanced down at your interlocking hands on your lap and chuckled a little bit. “Kinda cool that this worked out though. Maybe we could spend the summer getting to know each other?” 

This time, you let one of your happy tears drip down your cheek, and nodded gleefully. “Okay. I’d like that.” 

Jeongin smiled, just as you had seen him do it a hundred times, but this time you knew that it was all for you. 

“Can I...can I kiss you? If that’s okay? I-I’m sorry if this is really forward...I just...really want to.” He asked gently, then wiped away your tears with the pad of his thumb. 

You nodded, feeling  your whole body shake just a little with your nervousness and anticipation. The world appeared to melt away once he had leaned in to press his lips on yours as softly and as carefully as he could. In that moment, you had forgotten where you were, what time it was or the rest of the beautiful summer day outside the doors of that school. Here, it was just you and him. Embarrassing as it was, this had been your first kiss too. Your mind raced with a million thoughts, asking yourself if you had been doing it right, but once you felt him smile lightly into you, your chest shivered with a sense of relief. 

You had never expected kissing to feel like this, and it was a bit strange feeling something so close and intimate right on your own skin. At the same time, it felt like nothing else in the entire world had, and you only wanted more and more of it. He was cautious and respectful in the way that he had tilted his head, and loving how he had cupped your face with his hands cracked and bruised. You didn’t know where to put your hands at first, but settled one hand on his thigh, and the other on his shoulder where you tugged at his white button up stained with dirt. 

He too shook with a sigh, readjusting himself, then ran one of his hands down your arm to hold your hand were it rested on him. He tangled your fingers together, and made a tiny little gasp feeling you connect with him. In seconds, he allowed himself to grow rougher, running his lips over yours with a type of fervency that teased at your bottom lip where you felt the warmth of his tongue. It took no more consideration, and you gave him the permission to meet the heat of his tongue with yours between parted lips now becoming a bit swollen. 

Jeongin broke your connection for moments, and a different kind of haze took over his eyes. The way that he looked over your quivering lips sent shivers through your whole body, and he dragged his thumb over the tiny streak of saliva that shone on your lip. 

“Is it okay if I touch you? In other places?” His eyes fell, and you giggled at the way that a kind of lust-filled hunger seemed to overtake him. For years you had fantasized about him ravishing you like this, and giving love to every inch of your body no matter how hard it had been for you to do that same to yourself. Still, as hesitant as you were, you feared that he would get a taste of all of you, and still change his mind. 

“Really?” You stammered, instinctually crossing your arms around your chest. “You don’t think that I’m gro--”

“If you’re about to say “gross” don’t.” His expression became much more serious. “I-I’ll say it again a million more times if I need to: you, all that you are, is what I’ve been thinking of for so long, I’d love to touch you wherever you’ll let me.” 

This time, you didn’t know if the tears were happy or sad, but regardless, the fat drops still fell down your cheeks. 

“--And you can say no too. If you’re not comfortable, we can just keep doing what we were doing...there’s nothing wrong with that at all.” 

The dim yellow light in the room buzzed, and you had recalled all the many number of times that you had pictured the very scene about to occur. On lonely nights, you wished to have felt his hands all over you, and now, they really could be. 

“What do you say?” He asked, and squeezed your hand along with his. 

“Can we...go slow with it? I’ve never...no one has ever offered to--” 

“Of course we can.” He smiled adorably, which was a bit odd considering what he had just proposed. “But...I didn’t hear you say yes?” 

“Yes.” You quickly added with a nervous inhale, but held his gaze with your assurance. “I-I want you to.” 

The boy from the other class grinned, then took to carefully running his hands down your arms once more, and craning his neck to plant sweet little kisses into your neck: the stimulation from which made you whimper out of your own accord, and he giggled upon hearing it. 

“You like that?” He whispered greedily, then continued sucking a little harder. Jeongin shrugged down your sweater from the collar, and his wandering hands circled little rubs into your bare arms. 

Next, his fingers crept up slowly and cautiously at the bottom of your shirt, testing at first, but not pulling up the fabric all together. His cold fingertips buzzed on your skin in that drafty room, and he brought his lips back up to yours, also making tiny trailed gasps as he crept up all the way to your breasts. The moment that he touched them, both of you appeared to shiver on each other’s bodies, and your kisses grew even needier. At first he cupped over the padding of your bra, kneading and squeezing to play with the way that they jiggled slightly then pulling a bit harder, and relishing the way that they filled up his palms. 

“Does this feel good?” Jeongin asked on your lips and you nodded back immediately. 

The two of you leaned back on the aged couch, and the young man cradled your head to guide you into the cushion of the upholstery. He admired you for a few moments under him with one leg between your thighs and the other supporting himself and slipping a little on the cement floors. His thigh was just close enough to the heat of your arousal between your legs, and it ached and throbbed so badly, you were convinced you had never felt a feeling as intense as this. He leaned in closer, and pressed the muscle into your clit, and a muffled moan caught on your lip that surprised even him. 

“Can I touch you even closer?” He asked, and those ashy grey-brown strands of his dipped over his eyes. 

“Y-yes...please.” You found yourself begging, and he mischievously grinned at your desperation. 

Under the cotton of your shirt, his fingers slipped under the padding of your bra to toy with your breasts directly. He kissed even more tiny quaking breaths into your mouth, finally finding your hardened nipples and tweaking them with his thumb and index. He pulled lightly at them, making your buds even more sensitive. You cried out with a helpless “ah!” and he stopped, worry across his face as if he had hurt you. 

“F-feels really good. Don’t...don’t stop please...Jeongin...” 

Absentmindedly, your hips had started to grind against his leg, and he had taken notice of it too. Had you been a bit more attentive, you could’ve seen the way that his member had swelled in his navy slacks, and throbbed, begging for attention too. 

You could barely watch, but he hiked your shirt up, baring your cushy tummy for him to see only and you threw your embarrassed arms over your face. As long as you had kept the evil words at bay, they were much more seductive than any affirmation you could’ve repeated to yourself. 

“Oh-are you okay?” Do you want me to stop?” The young boy immediately stopped and removed his hands. “Did I do something wrong?” 

“N-no...it’s just...I’m really nervous be-because I’m--” 

He sighed, then pulled your shirt down once more. “I can stop doing that for now. But...I just want you to know...I think that everything about you is even more beautiful than you know and these...imperfections--which they’re not--is everything that drives me crazy. Please don’t think that I see you negatively at all. I promise that I want to make you feel good everywhere.” 

“Mm-okay.” You shook with a heavy sigh. “You aren’t...disappointed or anything?” 

Jeongin pressed a simple kiss onto your upper lip with a smile “Disappointed? Why?” 

“Because I don’t want--” 

“--No?? I’m not disappointed at all! You don’t owe me anything at all! Especially when you’re not comfortable with it.” 

“Hm, thank you.” 

He continued with a tiny grunt, lowering himself even closer to you, “Can I please kiss you some more?” 

You allowed him, with the warmth of your kisses' meeting in the middle. The heat in your pussy pooled even greater, and you grinded further, thirsting for him in ways that felt forbidden. For a brief moment, you felt the fear seeping back in, head racing with the dozens of thoughts that he might have if he were to see your stretch marks on your belly and on the top-parts of your thighs. The more that you found desire for him, the less that you were convinced that he wouldn’t desire you as much as you did him. 

“Do you want...I can touch down here too?” Jeongin hushed, breaking for a minute to hold your eyes earnestly. “Would that be okay?” 

He had noticed the way that you had pathetically rubbed into his leg, and this too sent your hands over your shy face. 

“M’ sorry...I can’t help...it feels good too...” 

“Don’t apologize! I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel the same way.” Your crush smiled with his eyes smiling in the same way. “You can...probably tell.” 

“--But...what if you don’t like it?” 

He cocked his head, “Like what?” 

Your lip quivered and you found tears stinging your eyes once more. “Don’t like..m-me? What I look like?” 

“What!? Y/n...my head is like frickin’ spinning thinking about what you look under these clothes--can you please believe me?” 

“It...it’s hard to...” Fat tears came waterfalling down your cheeks, and once again the young boy fully stopped his advances. 

“The fact that I’m here with you, kissing you like this after daydreaming about it for so long...there’s nothing more that I want than to make you feel good right now. Trust me.” 

“A-are you sure?” 

“Y/n. I’m 100% sure. And you don’t--you don’t have to even take this off if you don’t want to...” He toyed with your skirt. “But these might get in the way.” He ran both of his hands up and down your thighs and leggings with flat palms, and you felt your whole body ache for more than just that. “Again, we don’t have to if you don’t want.” he gave you a reassuring smile, “We still have the whole summer--” 

“I do!! I...still do...” 

Your quick answer started the both you, but Jeongin still didn’t advance faster than what was comfortable to you. Instead, he carefully snaked his hands up and under your skirt, finding the elastic of the leggings then pulled. 

His eyes blew out, enamored, seeing your bare skin, and he wetted his lips too seeing the way that your underwear had glistened with your essence. It was against your will, but you had soaked through your panties which he had swiped over a couple times accidentally, and the action itself sent an aching quiver to your untouched bud. You watched his every move has he angled his hand to ghost over the wet fabric, making you squeak from the new sensation. After, he found the band to your panties, pulling them down too. 

“Wow.” He gasped, seeing the way that your bud twitched. 

Jeongin dipped his fingers into your wetted folds, teasing at first. 

“Woah.” He said with a little gasp. “You’re really...” 

You stifled a moan with your lip, feeling your cheeks grow even warmer as his digits slicked with your arousal. “I-I know...I’ve never like, done anything like this before.” 

The young boy’s thumb grazed over your clit, eliciting an immediate response, and your heels went digging into the cushion of the couch. 

“This is your first time?’ He asked gently, two fingers now filling up your entrance. 

The best you could, you tried to remain quiet, but the harder and deeper that he had advanced, the harder that it became. Your eyes wandered, right to the pressure he had created under his belt loops, and you wondered furiously what he would’ve felt like inside of you; if he could stretch you out, or what it would have felt to just be like that with another person. 

Jeongin admired the way that your face scrunched up with a prideful little smile, and loved every minute of the way that your mouth would form airy “oh’s.” 

“You like feeling my fingers inside of you? Fucking right into your wet pussy?” 

His gaze held a lusty glaze seeing the way that your eyes blew out upon hearing his dirty words, and it only seemed to make him throb even harder himself. 

“Y-yes...” You mewled, reaching out grabby hands to hold yourself steady on his shoulders, the other going to tug at his belt. 

“I-I wouldn’t mind if you...you know...” 

Jeongin rolled his body over yours, attaching his lips with yours once more just to let the words stick on your tongue. “You want me to fuck you?” 

“Only-only if you want to--” You could barely get the words out feeling your thighs to shake as he coaxed your nearer and nearer with his thumb rubbing circles over your enlarged button. 

“Of course I want to.” He assured you with even more kisses. “Are you sure?” 

You hooked a couple of your fingers to pull out his black leather belt from its confines, muttering a tiny “yes.” 

Jeongin carried out the rest of your job for you, going to quickly clink the metal of his belt away, tossing it to the cement floor haphazardly. From the boxers that he wore, there were a couple little wet stains, and the outline of his dick protruded thickly. Seeing it like this awakened something in you, something primal and feral that wanted nothing more to be connected to this boy and to have him spread you out until you could barely breathe. It was a horribly naughty thought, but as shameful as you felt, it was just as thrilling. 

The boy sprung free his erect member, pink and dripping with his pearly pre-cum, and pumped at it a couple times, eyes raking over your whole body in the way that you had only ever dreamed of. 

“This is actually...my first time too.” 

He had said the words coolly, almost like he didn’t care at all about them, but you had assumed he had done so to keep you from worry. 

“Oh fuck--” He muttered, taking his left hand to reach under your shirt once more and play with your breast roughly. “God, I can’t believe that this is happening.” 

You coyly hiked up your skirt a bit higher for him to get better access, but not all the way, just as far as you could feel comfortable. 

“I might’ve thought about this a couple times...” Jeongin said with a tiny smirk, then slowly dipped his hand back down to wet his fingers with your arousal, then coat it around his length. When he did so, he let out an unapologetic groan that wavered out of his mouth and filled up the room beautifully. 

“I’m gonna go slow, okay? I feel like I heard somewhere that it can kind of hurt for you the first time?” 

You nodded out quickly to let him know, finally becoming impatient enough to claw at his arms all wrapped up in that grey hoodie of his. 

He leaned down one final time, kissing you over before aligning himself with your pussy, kissing down your jaw, then to your neck where he buried his head as he lead himself into you. His arms shook where he held himself up, and the two of you shuddered at the feeling at last: that euphoric, tight, unreal feeling that you shared for the first time. 

You whimpered out, digging your nails into his back, and his breath hitched in his throat too. 

“I-its...s-so..tight.” Jeongin barely got the words out, but merely let himself throb around your velvet walls for a moment. “Y-you okay?” 

“Mmhm.” You said, barely able to get more words out than this. 

Truthfully, it did hurt just a little, but not as much as you had pictured it to be, but it was more like a pressure, and it only grew heavier as you got used to him. 

Jeongin started to thrust his hips slowly, even painfully so, but he maintained his pace dragging his hips over yours. He filled you up so fully it was unfathomable, and his length pressed up against your deepest spot, sending a kind of electricity through your whole body. 

He settled into a rhythm, finally getting comfortable enough to return back to your mouth to slick his tongue across yours, and cradle the side of your face in his hand. You let little whimpers fade into his mouth, as he did for you, and after long, he had decided to speed up just slightly to milk himself off with your tight walls. To your surprise, he reached his hand back down to your clit to rub at it erratically. His pattern made little sense, but compared to how he had been stimulating you deep inside too, you could barely hold on. 

Jeongin grunted, biting into your lip with a trace of teeth. “I-I want you to c-cum first--I can’t...I can’t--” 

Before you could even understand what he had said, the young boy snapped his hips harder, eyes closed and tiny bits of sweat forming on his brow. The pads of his fingers pushed harder, and you found yourself spinning even closer to an orgasm by his hand, the thought alone was enough to fulfil your deepest fantasies. 

“I want you to cum all over my dick for me, okay? Sh-shit...” 

“Jeong--” 

“God, you’re...fuck...” He laughed a little. “I really really like you y/n. I really...” 

It was as if the words had been stolen right from his mouth, and his voice had abandoned him, but all he could do was press harder, faster, glide his hips over you rougher...

“M’ gonna--” You gasped out with your whole core tightening into a knot that was just about ready to snap. The pressure behind your clit was intense and burning, and you became light-headed nearing the brink. 

All at once you came with a searing and inexplainable white heat--much more intense than you had ever felt before in your whole life, and every single muscle in your body quaked as you did so, and you threw your head back to that dusty cushion of the couch. Your eyes rolled back on their own accord, and the best that you could do to muffle your moans was throw your hand over your mouth--which was quickly removed by the young man to do the job himself. 

Your thighs violently shook and you felt yourself tighten around him. He too strung out explicatives as if they were the only words that he had known. You breathed out shallow gasps into his palm, and soon he tore himself out of your walls with incessant breaths, only having to jerk himself off for a few moments before his swollen tip burst with the white strings of his cum. He continued jerking himself as such until he had nothing more to give, and his own thighs shook where he had straddled you. You could feel his warmth on your thigh and the way that it dripped and slicked with the sweat of your leg. 

Jeongin’s entire face flushed with pink, and he stammered out realizing the mess that he had made all over you. 

“I-I’m so sorry...I-I didn’t realize, I wasn’t thinking...I just...” 

While it was a predicament, you mustered the best smile that you could for him, secretly and utterly loving the way that it felt on your bare skin.   

“I’ve got...I can figure something out--” 

“--Jeongin?” 

His attention snapped back to you in your afterglow, and you could practically see the boy melt right then and there. 

“--Don’t worry about it.” 

Just as he had been before, his smile creased into a shy and awkward little line, and he could barely hold your eyes. After the initial embarrassment, he couldn’t help himself but admire you.

“Hey Y/n?” 

“Yeah?” 

“I don’t know if you’ve ever heard this before, but I really do think that you’re perfect. If not perfect for yourself, I hope that I can show you how you are to me. You’re perfect for me. You’ve always been.” 

“So have you.” You admitted to him in that cobwebbed room that held all kinds of forgotten trinkets and items. 

“And thank you for giving me your letter too.” Jeongin raised the back of your hand to his lips where he placed a chaste kiss, then helped you carefully back up as to not make a mess of your skirt with the white staining your leg. 

Your crush smiled, then let out a gleeful exhale, “I can’t wait for this summer.” 

~🌹~

Bunch of (Ro)ses!

@minaamhh @dazzlehoseok @synnocence @jjewibeans @hyunsluvv @unexceptional-h @bobawithchaitea @lechanters @sailorhyunjinz @silencefavarchive @eunaeiekim @lunarskzzz

[jovialyouthmusic]

Go Shorty!

(It's my birthday!)

In a kind of weird reverse universe, this is my gift to anyone who enjoys my Bastien Lykel fics, queued to be posted on my birthday. I've noted Fabricio's recent image change and it inspired the following - what would Bastien's family think if he shaved off his iconic goatee? Enjoy, its all fluff xx

Word Count 2035

Double Trouble

The last lecture of the week completed, Sophia was in her university office just putting her papers together when the faculty secretary put her head round the door.

‘Sophia, your home help has been in touch, she said it’s urgent’

‘Thanks Lizzy, I’ll be leaving soon anyway. It’s been a long week, I’m glad I’ve nothing on this afternoon.’ Sophia turned her mobile phone back on to see that Morag had left her a voice mail. She held the phone at arm’s length as she played back the sound of a harassed young woman and a squealing toddler in full meltdown.

‘Mrs Lykel, I’m sorry tae bother ye, but yer wee lassie’s upset, and her father cannae soothe her. Please call back when ye can. Or just come hame.’ Sophia frowned. It wasn’t like Bastien to fail to settle Beatrice. Little princess that she was, she was Daddy’s girl while Sophia was out at work through the week and welded to Sophia’s side at the weekend. She dialled the landline of their top floor regency apartment in the centre of Edinburgh that the University had allocated them. It was Bastien who answered, and all was quiet beyond his voice.

‘Sophia!’ he sounded flustered ‘Morag’s just got her to settle, did you get the message?’

‘It’s an odd time of day for a nap, is she running a temperature?’

‘Errm no, she’s hot, but she’s not ill. She’s just been crying...’

‘How do you know she’s not ill if she’s hot?’ Sophia demanded, making her way along the corridor to the car park to their SUV. Her mind span with possibilities.

‘I uh – you’ll understand when you get here, I can’t explain right now.’ Sophia decided not to stop off at the shops on the way, hoping Morag could go and get what was needed before she clocked off for the weekend. She wished she’d had the foresight to order a supermarket delivery, but she preferred to shop herself. With or without the children, she loved browsing the aisles of Waitrose when it wasn’t busy. Bastien was a surprisingly poor shopper and stuck religiously to the list, whereas she’d discover little treats and bargains that wouldn’t stretch her salary. Living in the city was expensive, although not nearly as much as if they’d moved to London, and having Morag to help was a slight strain on resources. Setting up Bastien’s security consultancy was taking longer than expected thanks to the complexity of looking after twins, and the retainer from King Liam in Cordonia was only just enough for small luxuries.

As soon as she opened the door to the apartment, Morag was there pulling her coat on and shouldering her bag.

‘Morag, I was hoping you’d be able to get some supp…’ Sophia started, but she was already pushing past her to the landing outside.

‘Ah’ll be back the Monday.’ she said shortly, and Sophia was left peering over the banister to the stairwell after her rapidly retreating figure, wondering what had happened. She turned back inside to meet Bastien holding Theo.

‘Mama.’ he crowed in jubilant greeting. Bastien stepped out of the shadowed hall, and all became clear.

‘Bas, you shaved!’ she gasped. She’d never seen her husband without facial hair in the few years she’d known him. He still had a neat ‘tache, but his trimmed goatee was gone, his chin and jawline bare. He looked sheepish, and she knew she shouldn’t have teased him about the streak of white in his beard. He handed over Theo, who pointed at Bastien.

‘Dada face.’ he proclaimed.

‘Yes, I thought perhaps…’ his voice trailed off ‘Well, that is, I mean...’

‘Beatrice didn’t like it, did she? Honestly Bas, you should have thought – why didn’t you say something?’ He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

‘I thought perhaps a younger image might drum up some more business.’

‘Don’t be ridiculous, age means experience, people are more likely to trust a distinguished looking gent.’ she scoffed. He sighed in exasperation.

‘Well the damage is done. Beatrice took one look at me and bawled her eyes out. Morag tried to calm her down, but every time she saw me again she’d set off crying.’

‘Well no wonder, you look completely different. How about Theo?’ she asked.

‘You know him – a bomb would go off and he wouldn’t flinch.’ In response Theo wriggled to get down, bored at the adult conversation. He toddled off to the toybox in the lounge to rummage for his current favourite, a shape sorting puzzle.

‘Well, I’d better go and take a look at her.’ Sophia sighed. ‘If she’s been crying all morning she’ll probably not wake up for a while.’ She feared that the disruption to her sleep schedule meant they’d be in for a rocky night at the very least, if not a couple of days. She opened the door to their bedroom a crack but could see little, as the curtains were drawn tight. Normally they let a little light in for daytime naps so the children would know night from day. She crept in and let her eyes adjust to the gloom. Beatrice lay on her back in her day clothes, one arm flung back over her head and her other thumb in her mouth. That wasn’t a good sign – she’d not used that form of self soothing for a couple of months. Her hair was damp and face flushed, but her breathing was steady and peaceful.

Sophia carefully held her palm over her forehead, feeling the slight heat coming off it. Bastien joined her, gazing down at the toddler, but she motioned him out of the room and followed quietly.

‘Well, she’s okay for now. I’d better be here for when she wakes up, so you can go shopping for the weekend.’ Bastien’s face dropped.

‘On a Friday? The traffic’s mayhem – can’t we order in?’

‘I couldn’t stop on the way back, and there won’t be any free delivery slots until at least Monday, you know that.’ She sighed. ‘If you take Theo with you it’ll be easier for when Bea wakes up, and you can play the ‘Dad doing the chores’ role, that’ll get you to the front of the checkout queue. Give him a banana, that will keep him happy.’

‘Narners?’ Theo called from the lounge, and came toddling to find Sophia, clinging to her leg and pulling at her clothes.

‘Lunch first, Theo, then Daddy will take you shopping. Won’t that be lovely? All boys together.’

‘Sopping’ Theo cried happily, then looked over at Bastien. ‘Mummy sopping?’ he asked hopefully. He knew Sophia was more likely to treat him than his father, although he did like pointing out the things Daddy couldn’t find. Perhaps he’d treat him more without his sister there to steal the limelight.

‘No darling, Mummy has to look after Bea.’

‘Bee cwy. Dada face.’

‘Yes, silly Daddy took his beard off. He’s funny isn’t he?’

‘Dada silly!’ Theo cried triumphantly and pointed at him. Bastien scowled.

‘Yes well okay, let’s all laugh at Daddy.’ he grumbled as Sophia picked Theo up and balanced him on her hip.

‘Well it’s better than crying’ she said acidly. ‘Now, do you want to make lunch, or shall I?’

-------

Lunchtime was much simpler than normal with just Theo to feed. The couple could eat their own food while the toddler busied himself with cheese sandwiches made with wholemeal bread. He left the crusts, but Sophia had discovered it pointless cutting them off, as he left some bread around the edge just as if the crust were still there. She often saved them to feed the ducks at the park with the twins. Bastien had literally just closed the door to take Theo out to the supermarket when she heard Beatrice stirring. She went into her quickly, to find her standing at the bars to the cot, hair curling round her face and cheeks blotchy.

‘Mummy.’ Her voice was croaky and she looked miserable. ‘Dada face!’ she told her. She stretched her arms up and Sophia scooped her up as she rubbed her eyes sleepily. Perhaps she’d think it was a dream.

‘Well hello my little Bea, you’ve had a difficult morning. Are you hungry?’ She nodded sleepily.

‘Sippy sippy, Mummy.’ The little girl was obviously thirsty too.

‘Of course darling, you can have juice. Do you want sandwiches?’

‘Widges, Mummy.’ She looked across to Theo’s cot. ‘Where Feeo?’ Sophia sucked in her breath. It was very rare that the children were separated and she braced herself for trouble.

‘He’s gone out to the shops to get more narners, darling.’ The little girl clung on to her and rested her head on her chest, seemingly pleased to have Sophia to herself. She carried her through to the kitchen and filled her sippy cup with juice. Gratefully Bea grabbed at it and drank greedily, eyes rolling back in bliss.

‘All gone’ she shook it upside down, sprinkling the last dregs on the floor. Luckily the sandwiches were ready from earlier so Sophia put them on the tray of the high chair. Bea shook her head and clung on tight as she tried to put her down.

‘Okay darling, you can sit on my knee this time’ she said gently, and sat at the table, the little girl firmly nestled on her lap. She reached out to take a sandwich and squeezed it in her fist before stuffing half of it in her mouth, crumbs falling everywhere. She was hungry, and Sophia wondered if she’d had anything to eat before her father’s transformation. She waited until she’d slowed down.

‘Morag told me you were upset this morning.’ she said gently. The little girl took a shuddering breath.

‘Dada face bad.’ she said, putting her hand to her chin. Sophia stepped in before the cycle of crying could restart.

‘I know, Bea. He shaved his beard off. He looks funny now, doesn’t he? Theo was laughing at Daddy.’ Beatrice burrowed into her side again, hiding her face. ‘It’s okay darling, he just looks different. He still loves you – and me, and Theo. Silly Daddy, he’ll grow it back.’

‘Where Daddy?’ she asked, voice muffled.

‘He took Theo out to get more narners.’

‘Sopping?’ Beatrice relaxed and looked up at her enquiringly.

‘That’s right. Is there anything you want from the shops? I can call Daddy on his phone and tell him.’ The tot looked thoughtful.

‘Ice kweem?’

‘Okay, if Daddy brings you ice cream will you give him a kiss? His face is all smooth now, like Mummy’s.’ Beatrice giggled at the thought.

‘Like Mummy!’ she exclaimed. ‘Daddymummy!’

‘You can talk to him on the phone if you like, tell him what you want.’ Sophia got out her phone and texted Bastien.

Call when you can, Bea wants to ask you for ice cream

It was a few minutes before her phone rang, during which time she had changed the little girl’s nappy and was dressing her in clean clothes.

‘Oh that will be Daddy, just wait a minute darling.’ Beatrice opened and closed her hands, demanding it for herself, but Sophia put it on speakerphone.

‘Beatrice is here, Bas. She wants to ask you something.’

‘Daddymummy!’ Beatrice burbled. ‘Ice kweem, Daddy.’

‘Come on now, say please.’ Sophia prompted. Beatrice put on her cutest expression, unaware that her father couldn’t see it.

‘Pweese Daddy, stawby.’

‘Okay Bea, I’ll get strawberry ice cream. I love you, my little Bea. I’m sorry I scared you.’

‘Silly Daddy. Kisses!’ There was a short pause before Bastien obliged, blowing kisses to his daughter. Sophia tried not to laugh, wondering where he was and who could see him.

‘Okay now Bea, Daddy has to get the rest of the shopping. He’ll be back soon.’

‘Bye Daddy.’

‘Bye, my sweeting. Be good for Mummy.’ Beatrice slid off Sophia’s lap and went off to the toybox, obviously happy with life, and she breathed a sigh of relief.

‘If it’s any help, I told her your face is like Mummy’s now, so be prepared to be called Daddymummy until she’s forgotten. You’d better grow that beard back fast, mister.’ she said in a low tone. 'and be prepared for a rough bedtime, she'll be full of beans after that nap.'

@sirbeepsalot @katedrakeohd @fluffyfirewhiskey @bascmve01 @rainbowsinthestorm @nomadics-stuff @kingliam2019 @texaskitten30​ @stopforamoment

[starylust]

The One for Meღ

part 1 ~ the morning after

masterlist ∤ prev ∤ next

➙ pairing ~ atsumu x fem!reader

➙ genre ~ fluff, slice of life, angst

➙ word count ~ 1538

a/n ~ hi guys, sorry for taking like two days to update this:( i have a lot of school work right now so i dont have as much time to write but ill try my best to. also sorry if i dont update for a few days or i dont post i have to catch up on work as well!

An alarm noise rang throughout your ears. ‘What time is it?’ you thought. You looked over to your bedside and saw it was 7:50am. Your eyes closed as you wanted to rest again. The time on the clock did not register in your head until a few seconds later.

You cursed to yourself while throwing your blankets off of you and jumped off the bed. You headed towards the bathroom to get yourself cleaned up real quick before heading to school.

The image you saw in the mirror did not look like you at all. Your eyes were red and puffy which matched with your tear stained cheeks. The image of yourself brought back memories from last night.

-

“Hey,” he said awkwardly.

“Hi,” you said back.

“So um, I don’t know how to tell you this but I think we should end this,” he said while looking away from you. You could tell he was a bit nervous by the way he was standing and how he was rubbing his neck while talking to you.

Sooner or later this was going to happen you figured. This is what always happens. You meet a guy, the two of you hit it off and then a couple months or weeks pass and the spark you guys had just suddenly left.

You didn’t think you were doing anything wrong, no, but something was always bound to happen. This time you kind of expected it to happen, I mean it’s happened every single time before. A part of you wished it didn’t happen though.

You really liked Koji to be honest. He was so sweet and loving in the beginning. Then things just started to fall apart slowly. It wasn’t you or him, or at least you thought it wasn’t you or him. The two of you just didn’t have the time to spend together like you did in the beginning I guess.

Maybe you guys could be friends you thought, but hell when has that ever worked out? You realized you were in  your thoughts for a little too long when you hear a faint call of your name.

You looked up to see Koji staring at you with apologetic eyes. You cleared your throat real quickly before speaking.

“Oh sorry yeah I think so too,” you said quietly. Koji looked at you and nodded before walking away. ‘Tonight would’ve been a nice night’ you thought. And it would’ve been if you hadn’t just got broken up with. 

The moon was full and shining as bright as ever tonight. There was a cool breeze but it was still warm. You could see the flower petals that slowly fell and the dimmed light of the park you were at.

‘Damn’ you thought to yourself. You watched as Koji’s body slowly disappeared into the night and there you were, left by yourself once more.

-

You ran down the stairs with your bag barely hanging onto your shoulder. Your skirt ruffled up a bit since your running created some wind under you. The cabinets in your kitchen flew open as you looked for a quick snack to eat on your way to school. Nothing really satisfied your needs so you just shrugged and grabbed a banana.

The walk to school wasn’t too bad, it was only 10 minutes long. You pulled out your phone while walking and eating a banana to see a bunch of missed texts and calls. Your eyes widened as you realized you forgot to tell Atsumu what happened last night.

You must’ve been so caught up in it that you fell asleep crying. You were about to call him before you felt a hand tap your shoulder. You slowly turned around while there was a banana stuffed in your mouth.

A sigh of relief left your mouth as you thought it was a stranger, but it was only Osamu and Atsumu.

“Hi guys,” you said while mumbling. You realized you still had a tiny piece of banana still in your mouth that you haven’t chewed. Quickly, you chopped down on the tiny piece before swallowing.

“Hi guys,” you said once more. A bright smile appeared on your face as you greeted the two twins. The two of them just stared at you for a bit before you realized they were trying to hold in their laugh.

Your shoulder slumped a bit and you just stared at them with a semi mad face on. This made the twins completely lose it. The two of them started dying of laughter while you just stood there wondering what was so funny.

The went on for about a minute before they needed to calm down and catch their breaths.

“What.” You said sternly. The two boys had now calmed themselves down a bit before looking at you and speaking.

“You look like a mess you know,” Atsumu said, chuckling a bit.

“Yeah I know you idiot.”

Atsumu rolled his eyes at the name you gave him.

“So were you running late this morning y/n?” Osamu asked.

“Yeah, I woke up late without even realizing it,” you answered back.

“What the hell were you doing that late at night that you didn’t wake up to your alarm?” Atsumu asked.

The three of you had now continued on with your walk to school while talking.

“Well if you must know, I was at the park last night,” you huffed out.

“Why?” Osamu asked with a confused look.

“Oh you know the usual, I just got broken up with no biggie,” you said, sounding like it was no big deal.

The twins stopped walking and just stared at you. Only a couple steps after that noticed they stopped walking. You stopped in your place to turn around and look at the two of them.

“What?” You asked.

“What do you mean ‘no biggie’? I thought you and Koji were doing good.” Atsumu said.

The twins were now beside you Atsumu to your right and Osamu to your left.

“Eh I thought so too but we barely got to spend time together recently.”

Two ‘oh’s’ left their mouths. The rest of the walk to school was pretty silent. A couple of jokes and questions here and there, nothing too important though. After a couple more minutes of walking you guys finally made it to school.

Atsumu and you said your goodbyes to Osamu as the two of you headed to your shared class. Atsumu stopped in the middle of the way and stood in front of you.

“What?” You asked.

Atsumu didn’t say anything as he just stared at your face. You began looking everywhere but the two eyes that were burning into your face. Atsumu reached his hand up to your chin and tilted your head upwards.

Your breath hitched a bit as he started moving closer to your face still examining it. Your eyes started searching around the halls this time making sure you weren’t going to make eye contact with you.

“You’ve been crying haven’t you,” he asked.

Your eyes bulged out of your face when you heard his ask that. ‘Was it that obvious?’ You gave him a little nod before opening your mouth to speak. Before any words could leave your mouth a pair of arms wrapped around your shoulders and held you close.

Your face was now crushed into his chest as your arms remained at your sides. A few seconds later you wrapped your arms around his torso. Before you even knew it a few tear drops had escaped your eyes.

You didn’t even know your eyes had begun to water. Atsumu felt his shirt get a little damp as he tightened his grip around you.

He absolutely hated seeing you when you cried or were upset. It made him feel sick to his stomach. Worst of all he couldn’t do anything right now but offer you comfort.

Right after his grip had tightened on you, you gave him a tiny squeeze back. His heart warmed a little at that gesture. After a minute or two of you guys hugging Atsumu pulled back and looked at your face.

Although the tear stains from last night had been washed away the pain, puffiness and redness in your eyes stayed. Atsumu reached his hand up to your face once more before wiping your tears away with his thumb.

When he was finished he just looked at you as that warm feeling in his heart went away and a strain in his heart replaced it. You just looked so sad.

You pulled your sleeves down a bit to wipe away the tears Atsumu missed when wiping them. When you were finished you threw your arm up and hit Atsumu in the chest lightly. He scoffed playfully at your action.

“Hey what was that for,” he said breathely.

“Stupid, you didn’t let me talk. I was going to say I wasn’t crying that much but you just made me cry again,” you huffed.

Atsumu laughed at you as you rolled your eyes at him.

“Well talk about this later okay? Also you’re coming over.” Atsumu said.

You shrugged your shoulders in response as the two of you headed to class for the morning.

next part;)

taglist: @elianetsantana

[captainillogical]

Distant Lands Ch.19

Stranded on a planet with toxic conditions and nothing but the clothes on your back, your only means of survival lies within the gem that got you here in the first place.

Spinel/Reader

collab with my lovely wife @firstofficertightpants​

Strangely enough, you wake up in your bed.

You don’t remember coming into your room to sleep, but here you are. It’s light out - the blinds are closed, but the window is glowing with sunlight. You rub at your eyes, trying to get the rest of the lingering feeling of sleep out of them. You wonder what time it is, and you look over to see your phone left on your small bedside dresser. Without moving from your lying position, you reach over to grab it off the flat surface.

You pull out the charging cable, and open your lock screen. It’s a bit past two in the afternoon. Ugh. You see a couple texts from Steven, and some from an unknown number. You open his messages first.

[10:23] Steven: I woke up fairly early and saw you asleep on the couch with Spinel. Color my face surprised. Wasn't expecting you two to be so chummy considering how you met, initially.

[10:23] Steven: I told you to get some sleep but you really don’t want to listen to me, huh? She helped me put you to bed. Was a little surprised at how careful she was with you.

[10:23] Steven: Anyway, you looked like you needed quite a bit of rest so Pearl, myself and Spinel are going to Little Homeworld ourselves to introduce her to some of the others and show her around a bit.

[10:24] Steven: Take it easy today, and don’t fret about the small stuff. I’ll take care of it, as well as giving some of the others a quick run-down of what happened so you’re not bombarded with the same questions multiple times. 

[10:24] Steven: I gave Spinel one of my old cell phones that Peridot ‘upgraded’, the one with the heart stickers you put on the back (I thought it was funny), and gave her your number. Watching her try to navigate human technology was hilarious, btw.

[10:24] Steven: Also we still have that tub of blueberry yogurt in the fridge that I didn’t really like, so if you’re hungry please eat that first. Pearl won’t let me buy more yogurt until I finish that one. :(

You stare at the texts for a moment, brain working a little slow still. Lord.. you can't believe Steven saw you like that, and with Spinel. He could've reacted way worse, but you're glad that it wasn't the case. You kinda have a feeling he might ask you a couple personal questions regarding that.. ugh. You’re also trying to not be disappointed that you’re not there with them and Spinel, and getting to see her interactions with the others.

Oh well, nothing you can do about it now. You text him back before opening the other messages.

[02:09] Y/N: Pssh, I’ll sleep when I want to sleep. Plus, I couldn’t really pass out before talking to her about shit on my mind. It’s fine. And thanks for making sure I didn’t wake up with a stiff neck.

[02:09] Y/N: Keep an eye on her for me, yeah? She’s anxious about all of this.

[02:09] Y/N: And.. thank you, Steven. You know you're my favorite, right?

After sending the texts, you go over and open the unsaved number’s messages from a couple hours ago. They’re clearly from Spinel, so you save the number to your contacts before reading them all.

[10:42] Spinel: did it send

[10:42] Spinel: i think it did this time, phewwww no error message

[10:42] Spinel: this tech is old and weird but i can deal with it for now

[10:42] Spinel: i hope you got okay sleep

[10:42] Spinel: i’m out with steven and pearl as i’m sure he’s told you already

[10:42] Spinel: she’s kinda annoying sometimes, is that normal for her? i don’t know how to feel about her, especially knowing pink as much as i did

[10:43] Spinel: and i know you told me to be nice to steven, but he’s already laughed at me for being confused at your human tech. never listening to you again

[10:43] Spinel: little homeworld is not what i was expecting, but i think i like this a little better than whatever i had thought, anyway

[10:43] Spinel: bismuth is fun. i like her. she says she’ll put me to work for it, but she has a small place for me in this new housing block that’ll be ready for me later today

[10:43] Spinel: it feels kinda like too much at once and it’s a little overwhelming

[10:43] Spinel: but steven has helped a ton, and i’m starting to understand why you defended him as much as you did.

[12:16] Spinel: [attachment received]

You open the file, and it’s a very blurry image of the sidewalk and what you think is Spinel’s shoes. Did she mean to send that? You feel your face smiling, despite the weird feelings starting to blossom in your stomach. You’re glad she’s getting along with the others. You had been.. wary, really, and for good reason. But if the others can get over other gems trying to kill Steven fairly quickly, then you’re not surprised they can get over this, this soon. It was always you technically that held a grudge against the other gems that tried causing him harm. And well, you did hold a bit of a grudge against Spinel for a while..

You sigh out loud, and sit up before texting her back. It feels weird to be texting her, when you were so used to face-to-face communication.

[02:12] Y/N: I slept fine. Thanks for putting me to bed, Steven said some nice things about you :P

[02:12] Y/N: I’m glad you got used to cellphones pretty quickly, I’m a little impressed. And give Pearl some time, you just gotta brush off half her nagging for the most part.

[02:12] Y/N: What were you expecting little homeworld to be like? And how sweet of Bismuth, you should take a pic of the place when you get into it, I wanna see what it looks like inside.

[02:13] Y/N: Yeah.. it will feel like too much, Spinel. Think of what your life was like before this. I did say there was going to be a lot to adjust to.

[02:13] Y/N: Also did you mean to send that last image because I’m not sure what I’m supposed to be looking at exactly, there.

You check your social media for a second as you try not to let all of your thoughts linger on Spinel, and then roll your eyes at yourself when you realize ah right, a month didn’t actually pass here. There’s nothing new. You stand up, stretching your arms way over your head.

It feels good, not sleeping on the ground for once.

You make quick work of changing into an oversized sweater and some shorts from your current sleepwear, wanting to wear something loose and different. Phone in hand, you meander out of your room hungry, and into the kitchen. You see Amethyst in the living room, chilling on the couch and reading some magazine. Except you know she’s not reading it, she’s just looking for weird images to cut out and prank Pearl with in weird places.

“‘Sup.” She says without looking up from her browsing as you open the fridge, looking for anything but that yogurt. A month of only bullshit weird, plain fruit to eat and he thinks you’ll finish off his yogurt for him?

“Hey.” You reply back to her, and ugh.. unless you want to go through the effort of making eggs, toast and yogurt are really your only option since they haven’t gone food shopping.  You make a face at the fridge, grabbing for the yogurt and closing the door.

“How ya’ feelin’?” She asks casually, flipping a page. An eye drifts over the page to land on you, and she lifts an eyebrow in interest. “You look better than you did yesterday.”

“...Thanks,” It comes out slightly insulted, but, well, it’s Amethyst. She doesn’t mince her words. “I got some decent sleep for once. Is Garnet home?”

“Nah, she’s got one of her lessons going on.” 

“And you don’t?” You grab the bread out of the cupboard, and squint at it for a second. There’s.. a bit of fucking mold on the edge. Ugh. Your luck. You toss the bread onto the counter for Amethyst to eat later, and spot a single bagel left in the cupboard behind a bag of flour. Oh hell yeah.

“Not today, we pushed mine til tomorrow because Onion couldn’t participate for some reason.” She blows a lock of hair out of her face, turning a page.

“All for Onion, and he’s not even a gem. He can sit out one lesson.” You put the bagel in the toaster - getting crumbs everywhere and not caring, and grabbing a spoon for your yogurt.

“C’mon, you know the others love him, it was basically all their decision anyway.” She flips another page, and you can see her giving you a pointed look that you’re going to ignore. “Besides, I wanted to relax today anyway, considering all the stress you just put me under.”

“Cause it was totally by choice.” You retort with a roll of your eyes, opening the lid of the yogurt disdainfully and giving it a sniff. It smells fine but.. Ugh. You’re not much of a fan of yogurt. You take a bite, and it’s okay you guess.

“What are you planning on doing with the rest of your afternoon, anyway?” She asks as soon as you take another bite of yogurt.

“I uh,” You swallow. “I don’t know, actually. I was thinking I’d be with Steven and Pearl, showing Spinel around, but it seems they’re all doing that without me.” You say, half a frown forming on your face. You kind of realize that you’re way more disappointed by that fact than you had previously figured, but that train of thought is interrupted by the bagel popping out of the toaster. You jump slightly, almost launching your yogurt out of your hands. Amethyst notices but doesn’t make a comment about it.

“Y/N, I know you’re really caring and wanna help, but don’t you think you should take a couple days just for you?” She gives you a look.

“A couple days to what?” You match her look, popping an eyebrow for extra emphasis. “Relax? Like the weeks I just spent doing absolutely nothing on a forgotten planet in the middle of nowhere? I’m good.”

She looks at you, deadpan, and sighs. You notice a bunch of bananas on the top of the fridge that you had missed earlier, and get an idea that’s better than just eating yogurt.

“You’re kind of impossible. I’m telling Steven to not let you help him with any more of his current projects.” She sets the magazine down and cracks her knuckles obnoxiously. “Maybe it will force you to go out and do something for yourself for once.”

“Don’t you dare.” You say in annoyance, grabbing the bananas and blender from the top of the fridge, setting them on the counter. You grab the milk from the fridge and pour a little inside, and dump some of the yogurt in as well. You don’t care for proper proportions, you measure smoothies with your soul.

“I’m literally texting him right now and you can’t stop me.” She grabs for her phone, typing on it quickly.

“You can’t make me relax, Amethyst.” You say, peeling two bananas and tearing them into small enough chunks to blend, putting those in as well with a couple cubes of ice for good measure. “If I want to help out, I’m helping out.”

“Not if I can help it.” You hear her say as you put on the lid of the blender and plug it into the outlet next to it.

You grab your phone to text Steven to dissuade him from whatever Amethyst is saying to him, and press the liquify button on the blender.

A terribly familiar whirring noise fills the room, and your blood runs cold. You freeze on the spot.

You rip the plug from the outlet near violently, silence filling the immediate space. A beat or two passes.

“Uh.” You hear Amethyst say from fifteen feet behind you. “Y/N? You okay?”

You’re staring at the blender, and you can’t get your mouth to move. The chunks of ice shift, light from the afternoon sun hitting it and causing it to sparkle. 

“Y/N?” She asks again, and you hear slight shuffling.

There’s this indescribable feeling of fear and dread swirling at the pit of your stomach, and then you feel an arm pulling at your elbow. 

“Y/N.” Amethyst reiterates from beside you, and suddenly, you can turn your head to face her.

“Yeah?” You answer, facing her and blinking. She looks at you for a second before answering.

“What was that?” Her brows furrow in concern.

“I, um.” You realize you aren’t hungry anymore. “That was nothing.”

“Bullshit.” She looks offended at your response. “I’ve never seen you react that way before, to like, anything.”

“Uhhhhh, you know what?” You say, feeling like your mouth is working on autopilot at this point. “I’m gonna go out actually.”

You spin around, walking around Amethyst entirely despite her protests, and leave out the front door. You hear it slam shut behind you.

-

By the time you check the time, it’s nearly five in the afternoon, and you’re in front of the new bakery, Spacestries. You uh.. you didn’t realize you had walked all the way over here. You think you wandered the beach for a while, trying to definitely not think about what happened in the kitchen, with Amethyst as a fucking witness. Embarrassing. Could’ve been worse, you guess - it could have been Pearl there. It’s probably best if you don’t use the blender for a while. 

You’re completely annoyed with yourself about all of that, really, and by pushing all of that away you’re trying to not let the rest of your thoughts linger on the other thing you shouldn’t put any more thought into, which are your obvious feelings for Spinel. That area is a whole ass disaster that you’d rather ignore right now. You have a few notifications that you swipe away as soon as they come; your heart pathetically skipping a beat when it sees her name there for a split second - you’re not in the right mood to reply to the messages at the moment. Later.

You sigh, pocketing your phone. You look at the shiny new sign above, squinting at the sun in your eyes, and someone nearly walks into you on the sidewalk. Ugh. You stand there for a second, letting the hot air of summer waft by. You smell fries from somewhere nearby, and your stomach growls. A car honks off in the distance.

It’s not even a busy day out. It’s just another lazy afternoon, something you’ve experienced many, many times in your life. But you find yourself listening to the muted sounds of Beach City, thankful that you’re standing here on a paved sidewalk that was made by humans. Your hair tickles your nose, and you blow air to get it out of your face.

A minute or so passes. You figure you should just go in and buy yourself a cheese roll or something. You don’t know why you’re just standing outside.

You take in a deep breath, and open the door. It chimes as you come in.

It’s cool inside from the air conditioning, and there’s no one behind the counter. You walk in slowly, hearing your footsteps tapping on the floor. There’s a small FM radio off to the side playing the top 40’s that you can barely make out due to all the static. It’s been a while since you’ve heard music.

There’s a lot of pastries on display, and they look good. You wonder if he’s working today. You walk up to the counter leisurely, looking at the glazed fruit tarts on the top display shelf.

“I’LL BE UP FRONT IN A SECOND!” You hear a familiar muffled voice coming from the back room. 

“Take your time, Lars. It’s just me.” You reply, hearing your voice not carry very far. You hope he heard you despite the white noise of the AC. There’s a couple more shuffling sounds, as it sounds like he’s rounding the corner.

You see the tray of cream puffs in one hand before Lars walks out, and he’s got another in the other hand, balanced on his hip.

“Y/N? Is that you out ther-” He stops abruptly as soon as he sees your face; and one of the trays slips out of his hand, clattering on the floor loudly.

He opens and closes his mouth. Twice.

“What in the actual fuck happened to you!?” He nearly shouts, eyes wide. He rushes to set the remaining tray on the counter, and completely ignores what is on the floor to get over to where you’re standing.

“Uh..” You pull your sweater sleeves down, AC giving your arms goosebumps. “A lot. Can I have one of your fresh cheese rolls?”

He gives you an incredulous look. “Yeah, as soon as you tell me how you fucking died!? What the hell have I missed in the last fews days while I was out of town!?”

“Cheese roll first, buddy.” You say, and cross your arms.

“Ugh, FINE!” He tosses his hands into the air, and makes quick work of grabbing his freshest roll for you, placing it into your hands with a napkin. He gives you another look.

You take a bite out of it, and it tastes so good that you feel tears prickling the corners of your eyes, and you cannot stop them from forming. Lars seems to take notice.

“Spill. You’re being weird and I’m actually concerned right now.” He puts his hands on his hips. You finish chewing before answering, but he holds up a finger instead. “Wait. Sit down and finish that, I’ll go grab some coffee for the both of us, I just made fresh pot that should be done brewing by now.”

He leaves momentarily to grab the coffee, and you sit down at the little two person table in the corner of the shop. You feel your phone vibrate a few times in your pocket, but you opt to ignore it instead. They can wait; you told Amethyst you were just going out, and your brain can really only deal with so much right now. Namely food, and hyping yourself up to talk to Lars about this.

A few cars pass out on the street outside, and your eyes are glued to the bright blue sky and those giant fluffy clouds that are floating idly by. You take another bite out of the roll, savoring the way the buttery crust melts on your tongue. The song changes to one particular pop number that you hate, and you aren’t even irritated about it. You find yourself having missed the small things.

You hear footsteps approaching from behind you, and Lars sets down two cups of black coffee with a cream puff in front of you. Eh. You’ll deal with the coffee being black with no sweetner for it.

“So,” He sits down, taking a sip of coffee. “I’m gonna need you to elaborate. Was there some kind of freak accident or something?”

You take a sip of coffee before answering, staring at the new plugs in his ears. They’re filled with stars, and it’s kind of cute. Looks nice on him.

“You want a short version, or the whole thing? Because there’s a lot.” You say, exhaling out a long breath. The coffee is good, despite the bitterness.

He looks around his shop for a second, shrugging when his eyes fall back on you. “Business has been extremely slow all day, I’ve got plenty of time.”

“Okay. Well.. technically this was yesterday? Ish? It’s been a blur. Anyway..”

You find yourself opening up to him more than you did with the others, and you think it’s because he might be the only person who maybe understands how you feel in this moment. Human, thrown into too much space bullshit just to try to survive.

“..and yeah. That’s about all of it.” You finish, taking a small sip of your coffee. 

Lars puts his face in his hands, sighing exaggeratedly. He’s been patiently listening this entire time, which is surprising for him.

“I need more coffee for this.” He says, getting up immediately to do so. It takes him a minute, but he comes back with a fresh cup for you both, and you’re thankful for it.

“Thanks.” You take a sip, and it’s nearly hot enough to burn your tongue.

“You know, I wouldn’t believe half the shit you just said if I didn’t actually know you. That’s nuts and utterly awful, even for it having to do with more gem bullshit.” He takes a drink, eyes roaming your face and hair. 

“Yeah. I know.” You reply. “But what is life around Steven if not life-threatening and ridiculous? You know how it goes.”

“Yeahhh.. you’re telling me. Oh, has Amethyst texted you since your ‘incident’ earlier?” He asks, lifting his hands to do the air quotations with his index fingers.

“I’m not gonna lie, I’ve ignored every notification that has popped up on my phone since leaving the house earlier.” You feel another buzz ironically inside your pocket. Ugh.

“You can’t ignore all your problems forever you know, you should probably text them back sooner rather than later. I’m sure they’re worried about you.”

“I’ll get to it in a bit.” You say with a huff.

“Hm.. it’s kind of funny how I’ve also been stranded against my will somewhere away from civilization, now that I think about it. It just wasn’t with an alien.. and it was at least on Earth.”

“Yeah that’s a weird coincidence, I didn’t even realize.” You feel half your face perk in a wry smile. “You’re lucky you had Sadie instead of Spinel though, Sadie’s.. so much nicer.” He rolls his eyes at that. “Can I ask you something Lars? If you don’t mind.”

“Yeah? Of course.” He replies, perking an eyebrow in question.

“How did you deal with dying? Or uh, anything of what happened to you in space?” You avoid his eyes for a moment, looking out the window. You can see the heat rising off the pavement from here.

“Oh, god.” You hear him take another drink of his coffee. “Not well, at first. The off-colors helped me tremendously in dealing with my problems. I’m pretty whatever about the whole thing now, honestly. I take it day by day, and keeping busy doing what I love at this shop is helping. Also, I wouldn’t wish this on anyone, as thankful as I am to be alive.” He points to his pink hair and face with his index finger, raising an eyebrow. “I hate the looks I get when I leave Beach City.”

“I’ll get used to it in time, probably. Still surprised when I look in the mirror." You sigh. You fix your eyes on the cup in front of you. “I also don’t want the gems to worry about me, and about what happened.”

“It’s something that took me quite a while to get used to. You’re wayyy more adaptable than I am, though, so I’m sure you’ll be a little quicker with it.” He says, running a hand through his hair and taking another drink of his coffee. “I’m sure they’ll worry about you regardless, and there isn’t really anything you can do about it. Kinda happens when they consider you family. Also, you’ve been through a lot. This isn’t just, like, breaking a leg or something.”

“I made the best of a shitty situation, and I’m alive and okay, it really isn’t a huge deal. I don’t want them walking on eggshells around me, or coddling me. I hate that. I’m not seventeen and stupid anymore.” 

Lars stares at you like you’re definitely seventeen and stupid, expression that says ‘I cannot believe you right now.’

“You’re literally traumatized, you fucking idiot.” He says, completely exasperated. “Stop acting like what you’ve been through is as common as the cold. It isn’t. It’s going to take you time, and them some time. Talk to them if you’re that bothered with it.”

You shrug at him, affronted. “It’s whatever. I just want a normal life again.” Is what you hear coming out of your mouth. 

“Your life stopped being normal the moment you accepted that babysitting job with the gems.” He rolls his eyes at you again, and you wanna kick him under the table. Just a little. “How are the gems dealing with Spinel by the way? I bet they thought they’d never have to fight another gem again, sheesh.”

“I was a little worried, but I think they’ll be fine honestly. They’ve dealt with worse. It probably helped that I was there to defend and vouch for her, really.” Someone passes the shop window, distracting your eyes for a second. A beat or two goes by, another car speeds down the street, and you wonder how Spinel’s doing right now. You hope Steven works his friendship magic on her, and you hope they become quick friends. They’re kind of like, two of the most important people to you. Oh, fuck. You think to yourself. Quick question, self? When the fuck did Spinel become that important to you? What the hell? Was it somewhere between hating her and dying for her?! You get the feeling you’re being watched all of a sudden so you look back over to Lars, and he’s studying your face with enough concentration to make you nervous.

“I feel like you’re still sitting on something that you want to talk about, but you’re too chickenshit to say it.” He says, full seriousness. You break eye contact, looking at your cup of coffee instead and sigh.

You and Lars have never been what you’d call good friends. Recently he’s been a lot better and you can actually talk to him like he’s a peer since he came back from space, but he used to be such a dick to Steven that you basically hated him, and you never hid that. You have no idea how he can see through you so well. 

“How can you even tell?”

“Your posture isn’t relaxed whatsoever. You’ve been sitting like someone strapped a yard stick to your spine.” He answers bluntly. “You’re normally a sloucher.”

“Don’t read me like that ever again.” You scowl. “I’m sitting on it because I’m not sure I want to verbalize it out loud, okay? And I haven’t talked to anyone about it..” You say, ignoring his pointed look at you.

“Y/N, unless you’re going to say that you want to move back in with your shitty parents, or that all of a sudden you believe in the existence of saint nicholas, it can’t be that strange to say considering everything else you’ve said.” He leans his chin on his hand, nudging his coffee cup slightly with his fingers. You think, maybe.. maybe you can trust him with this too. Another shadow passes by the window, but you ignore it in favor of the swirling thoughts in your head.

“I have feelings for Spinel,” You blurt out with about as much grace as ripping off a band-aid; just as he takes another drink of his coffee. He chokes on it, sputtering everywhere - the entry door swings open with a chime and a customer walks in. He stands up suddenly, coughing into his hand.

“Give me just a second,” He says, turning to the customer, and rushes away from the table to go cough violently into the sink behind the counter.

The customer stares at him.

“Are you open?” They ask, even though they just came through the open, unlocked bakery door. You know, with the clearly printed hours on the glass.

He gives a thumbs up, coughing into the sink again and wiping his face.

“Yeah, just come up to the counter and I’ll help you out.” He says, a few coughs coming out here and there. He gives you a particular look from across the shop, and you’re not sure how to interpret it. 

Your heart is beating wildly out of nervousness, and you kind of regret your honesty a little. Having feelings for a gem can’t be.. that weird. Right? Today is taking its toll on you already, and you’ve only been awake for a few short hours. You tune out Lars and the customer’s interactions, and pull out your phone instead. You should answer your messages. 

You can kind of see the customer glancing at you in the corner, and you try ignoring it. You answer Amethyst messages first to let her know that you’re fine.

[02:48] Amethyst: dude, dont just leave

[02:48] Amethyst: esp after something like that [02:48] Amethyst: im worried about you, you know you can talk to me about stuff if you want

[02:48] Amethyst: or if u want a lounge buddy for distractions ig 

[02:48] Amethyst: im here.

You feel bad that you rushed out like that on her, but you couldn’t stand in that kitchen anymore and you needed to be anywhere else but right there.

[05:32] Y/N: I’m fine, Amethyst.. I just needed some air.

[05:32] Y/N: Your concern is appreciated. Really.

[05:32] Y/N: Just needed to run away for a bit.

[05:32] Y/N: And I know. Thank you.

The customer talking to Lars is asking way too many questions about the gluten in the fruit fritters, and you can feel Lars’ annoyance from here. You see replies from Steven, and read those next. 

[03:10] Steven: Of course I’m your favorite, who else has this Universe charm? ;)

[03:10] Steven: I’m gonna pick up pizza for us later, you deserve some good food after all of this, lol.

[03:10] Steven: And what’s Amethyst saying about not letting you help me out?

[03:10] Steven: Are you not resting like I told you to? I said to take it easy. I know we were planning on adding in a bunch of new classes and recruiting more people to teach them, but I can have Pearl help me out with that. Maybe Buck. He owes me a big favor anyway.

[03:10] Steven: It doesn’t matter, I was gonna tell you to take the next week for yourself anyway, because you need to chill.

[03:11] Steven: I’ll be home in a couple hours, and if you wanted to cancel wednesday movie night, I understand. :(

You stare at your phone, trying to not be irritated like you want to. You don’t want to be replaced, responsibility-wise. You like helping Steven out. It makes you feel useful, and if you aren’t being useful, what’s the point. You feel like no matter what you say to him, he won’t care though. He’s really stubborn like that. You’ll take the next few days off for yourself regardless.

[05:35] Y/N: I’m just out rn okay, didn’t want to be cooped up at home. I went out for a walk because of how much I missed the sand.

[05:35] Y/N: And no, I think I need movie night now more than ever lol. Kinda just don’t want to lay around in bed.

Mere seconds pass of you replying to his texts, and he’s answered you back.

[05:35] Steven: Want it to just be the two of us, or would you be okay with me inviting Spinel and the others? 

[05:36] Steven: I might’ve hyped up Princess Diaries to her earlier, and well, this may be an easy way for her to be more.. at ease with everyone.

Oh thank god he asked. You didn’t want to seem desperate for her presence enough to suggest it. Also, he’s not wrong. You smile slightly to yourself as you reply to him.

[05:36] Y/N: Please do. :) That sounds fun.

Lars and the customer are now going back and forth about prices. You know he can handle himself, clearly, but you keep an ear perked in case this person goes full on karen-mode. You open Spinel’s messages last.

[02:52] Spinel: oops that wasnt what i was trying to send

[02:52] Spinel: [attachment received]

It’s another blurry picture, but it’s a candid shot of Pearl making a funny face while criticizing Steven about something. It’s actually fucking hilarious. You kinda want to send it to Amethyst.

[02:52] Spinel: shes been like this the last five minutes

[02:52] Spinel: its fun to watch

[02:52] Spinel: earth’s organisms are fun though so far

[02:53] Spinel: steven threw some food at the birds and i almost caught one

[02:53] Spinel: it pecked me 

You try not to laugh out loud at the mental image, wishing desperately that you could’ve seen this.

[05:36] Y/N: I was going to ask why, except I know the answer to that already. You deserved being pecked, stop heckling local wildlife you fucking birdbrain

Before you can type up another message, you hear the door jingle again as the customer leaves - drawing you out of looking directly at only your phone. You must’ve tuned out the last of their interactions, because Lars is standing in front of the table with crossed arms.

He’s staring at you, half an eyebrow perked; like he’s trying to read your mind. You can hear his foot tapping on the cold tile floor. You are not going to lie to yourself - if you could get up and abscond, you’d do exactly just that. He suddenly whips his arm out, placing it upon the back of your chair.

“Don’t even think about running away from this conversation, Y/N.” He says, the radio crackling a bit in the background. 

“Why would you think I want to run, Lars?” You avoid his eyes out of nervousness.

“Because I can see it in your eyes.” He plops back down in his seat, and sighs. His eyes haven’t moved from his gaze on you. “So. What the actual fuck?”

“Look. I didn’t even realize that I had these feelings until a couple days ago.. technically. Days on Golgotha. Not here, I mean.” 

He brings his hand up to his face, pinching the bridge of his nose in disbelief and scrunching his eyes. “You’re telling me.. that you have feelings for a gem that tried to kill Steven and yourself, after being stuck on a different planet with her for weeks?”

You’re staring at him, unmoving. A second or three passes.

“Don’t put it so plainly out there like that..” You groan. “I already feel stupid about this.”

“I’ve known you for years now, and you’ve refused any kind of prospect of romance. I watched you turn down several people, including fucking JENNY of all people. Where the hell is this coming from!?” God he’s so worked up about this that he’s half talking with his hands.

“Yeah because I was busy with Steven! Also I just wasn’t ..interested in anyone.” You level him with a look, slightly miffed about all of this.

“What made her different?!”

“I DON’T KNOW!” You hear your voice raise, heart beating wildly in your chest. You can feel the adrenaline running through you. “At first I thought it was because she didn’t treat me like a fragile meatbag! Or maybe because she took my shit and threw it back at me!! AND THEN SHE STARTED TO GET ALL CARING, LIKE, SHE ACTUALLY CARED ABOUT MY WELL-BEING? GENUINELY? And she wanted to be my friend EVEN after I treated her like shit!”

“Oh, my god. You DO have feelings for her!!!” He shouts accusingly, pointing his finger directly at you.

“I WASN’T LYING YOU IDIOT.” 

“Well?! What are you going to do about it?!” He implores, leaning into the table - practically knocking off his half cup of coffee.

“Nothing, probably,” You say, avoiding his eyes again.

“You’re joking.”

“What if I’ve been reading signals all weird, and she thinks humans are super gross?”

He levels you with a Look, one you deem The Judgemental Gaze of Judgement. He sighs for like the fifth time this conversation.

“Ugh! Give me your phone.”

“NO.” 

“Let me talk to her!” 

“DEFINITELY NO.” You hear your own voice echo throughout the room.

“Okay, so, you’re just going to steep in your own feelings and pretend you don’t have them? Really, Y/N?” 

“Well.. no. Maybe. I don't know.”

“You’re being stupid.” He says with a roll of his eyes. “What are you actually afraid of?”

“...what if she can only see me as a friend?” You reply, a bit nervously. 

“It’s not the worst thing ever, honestly. At least she’d still be your friend, take it from me..” He glances at his phone on the table for a moment, a notification popping up. “But I don’t know. I haven’t met her yet, but if she’s everything you’ve said to me so far.. I think you might be a little dumb about this.”

“I’m not saying you’re right, but I’ll keep it in mind.” 

“If I happen to see her in the next week, I’m telling her if you haven’t by then.” He says with a perk of his eyebrow, tone half mocking. 

“If I catch wind of that happening I’ll set your shop on fire.” You reply, deadpan. His eyes get large.

“No arson!” He points to the center of your torso, like this would be a thing you’d actually do. “Anyway, I gotta get back to making a new batch of what I dropped earlier before the delivery I’m supposed to receive in an hour gets here. You’re welcome to stay if you wanna help me out. I had 3 part timers quit in the last month.”

“Bet they left because you suck at being a manager.” You say, pocketing your cell phone and standing up. “And as much as I’d like to keep busy right now, it’s best I be getting back soon anyway.”

“I’m a great manager, for the record! Just unlucky. Thankfully the off-colors help out plenty, even if most of them are preoccupied doing things for themselves now. Let me know if you know anyone that wants any part time hours? I’m flexible.” He also stands up, pushing his chair in and grabbing both cups of coffee - now empty. He gives you a look before smiling a little. “I’m glad you’re alive and well, Y/N. And really. Talk to Spinel. Even if it doesn’t go anywhere, you’ll feel a lot better getting it off your chest.”

“Yeah, yeahhhhhh. We’ll see.” You reply with an eye roll, and head out the door.

-

On your way home you stop by the boardwalk by Funland. The sun is beating down on you, but you don’t really mind this heat. It isn’t nearly as humid as on the surface of that awful place. It’s almost lovely compared to it. You sit on one of the nearby benches to zone out for a couple minutes, watching people and their dogs pass by as you internally fight yourself. 

You should talk to Spinel. You think briefly that you should just text her about it, and then immediately swat that thought away. That’s the cowards route. Get it the fuck together. You’ve been through so much shit already, and you’re this hung up on your feelings. Also, Spinel deserves a lot more than just a stupid text.

Oh my godddd, you do not want to put too much thought into this shit, it will just make you even more anxious around her. Ugh. Seriously, you've been through waaay more anxiety inducing scenarios than this, what's your deal? You feel your phone vibrate with a notification, and you pull it up to see that it’s a message from Steven saying that they’ll be home soon. It’s a bit after six by now, and you send him a reply saying that you’ll see him there.

The distant sounds of the crashing waves of the ocean put you at ease. You pocket your phone, and you notice Mr. Smiley talking to a couple kids with cotton candy forty feet away or so. He sees you, and you can see his eyebrows raise in confusion all the way over from here.

Ugh. You’re kind of tired of explaining what’s happened to you. You get up and leave to avoid any kind of conversation about it, opting to just go straight home instead.

-

You take your flip flops off as you walk through the sand up to Steven’s house. It’s warm, and the salty sea breeze tickles your skin. It’s making you a little reluctant to go up the stairs. You’re halfway up when you hear muffled voices coming from inside, quite a few actually. The rest of them must have got here before you did, oops. You hope they don’t implore too much about where you’ve been and why it’s taken so long.

Once you open the front door you feel a couple eyes turn to you, and you swallow the weird anxiety in your gut. 

“Y/N!” Peridot shouts from across the room, and you set your flip flops down on the ground near the door. “Jeez, took you long enough to get home.”

“Sorry, I took the long way home.” You reply, seeing her with Bismuth, Lapis and Pearl all chatting animatedly about something on the couch with each other. 

“You guys only got here a couple minutes ago anyway.” Amethyst snorts, walking into the kitchen after she gives you a discreet look-over to make sure you’re visibly okay. 

“Yeah but she’s the last one here, and that means she gets cleanup duty!” She retorts, giving you a pointed smirk from across the room.

“I feel like I should be exempt from cleaning duty for the next couple of weeks.” You walk over to the kitchen where Steven and Spinel are talking to Garnet about something, and your heart does this stupid, stupid little flip when you see her with the others. Her eyes gravitate over to you as she’s talking, something sparkling in them when she sees that it’s you - and tears her eyes away back to the others quickly.

What the hell. That was kinda weird. Steven looks over to you, and then to Peridot after he hears you. 

“I’ve volunteered to take over her responsibilities this week, anyway, so suck it Peridot.” He says, sticking his tongue out at her childishly. 

“You mean it?” You reply, feeling immense amounts of affection bubbling up inside for him. 

“Yeah, well, you’re not wrong about being exempt for now. Also I just love you.” He grins, shrugging at you. You walk over to his side, ruffling his thick brown curls.

“Steeeeven, what would I do without you?” You say, and you see Spinel watching you out of the corner of her eye as Garnet talks to her. “I miss when you were shorter than me, who am I supposed to use as a chinrest now? Amethyst? She’s too short.”

“Hey!” Amethyst huffs, flipping some of her hair over her shoulder. “Being this short is one of my best qualities.”

“I thought it was your obnoxious personality?” You raise an eyebrow in mockery at her.

“I thought that was yours.” You hear Spinel say as your heart jumps into your throat, and you whip your face to hers.

“You of all people cannot say that to me!” You hiss out at her automatically without missing a beat, and the others burst out laughing. Even Garnet. You feel your face heat up as Spinel grins, and whatever thoughts you had about her acting weird earlier vanish. When the laughter dies down, Steven looks over to her.

“I’ve gotta say, I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone that talks to Y/N that way and gets away with it.” He says, still smiling and shaking his head.

“Really?” Her eyes light up at that, and she gives you a particular look that makes you want to smack her. “I guess I must be kinda special or somethin’.”

“No, you’re just too stupid to realize when I’m telling you off.” You reply, and she splutters with a glare while the others laugh boisterously again. 

It’s good to be in this kind of company again, you think. 

Steven grabs the three boxes of pizza on the counter that you just noticed were there. The smell is very enticing. “Since we’re all here, I’m gonna go set up the movie so I can finally eat because I am starrrrrving.” He says, dragging it on a bit dramatically as he walks up the stairs over to his loft bed. “You guys can join whenever!”

You follow him immediately, mainly because you want food. Also, Spinel’s looking at you in a way that makes you hyper aware of literally every single thing you’re doing, and you need to sit down and calm yourself before you have some kind of self-induced heart attack.

“You wanna sit on the bed? You get first pick since.. y’know.” He looks at you, setting the pizza boxes down on the floor by the foot of his bed.

“Nah, I want the beanbag.” You say as the others make their way up here, and you grab said seat from the corner of his room, dragging it to the spot you want on the far left opposite of the stairs and next to Steven’s bed. Peridot likes to throw things during dramatic moments and you’d prefer to not be placed in the crossfire again.

“Suuuit yourself.” He says, popping the dvd case open and inserting the disk into the system below the tv. Amethyst plops on his bed with a satisfied sigh, rolling over to the edge to grab a slice from the boxes on the floor. 

The rest of them come in, finding places to sit and lounge - all of them as loud as ever. You see Spinel off to the side by Pearl, and she looks like she doesn’t know where to sit. Eventually her eyes land on you - your heart doing a little flip, and you make a point to pat the ground next to you. Her eyes light up instantly. Not like you saved a seat for her or anything.

She gets over to you - having to stretch her leg waaay over to the side of the multiple gems in the center of the room making a commotion loudly over who gets to sit in front of the tv. She sits down next to you; wrapping her arms around her knees, her body language a little more at ease beside you than she was earlier.

You ignore your brain screaming about the implications. Just act normal, fucking idiot.

“You have fun today?” You turn your face to ask her, Bismuth bellowing out a laugh at something behind you.

“Yeah, I wasn’t expecting them to be so.. welcoming.” She says a bit quietly so the others don’t hear, pulling her gloved hand up to scratch at her cheek sheepishly. “I still don’t feel like I deserve this.” 

“Well, you do.” You lean forward, grabbing a slice of pizza and a napkin. “So you better get used to it.” Before you even take a bite, you notice her staring at you. Steven’s cursing out the dvd player for giving him issues, and Pearl’s tutting him for his language. “What? You wanna try?”

“No. It just looks weird.” She replies, scrunching her face.

“Spinel.” You look at her, deadpan. “Unless you try it, you don’t get to judge pizza. Even Amethyst likes it.” You take a bite, melty cheese easily pulling off the slice. Her eyes go kinda wide, watching you - and then her face gets suspiciously smug.

“Wow, what is that? Kinda similar to how much I can stretch-” You give her a kick with your bare foot, and she chokes out a laugh. You roll your eyes, taking another bite. Her constant teasing makes your heart grow fonder, and that fact irritates you.

“Finally!” Steven says, pressing the play button on the menu. Guess he finally got it to work. He sits on his bed where his pillows are, Amethyst up at the front. The others are lounging around the rest of the room as the volume dies down.

The movie starts to play, and you settle comfortably in your beanbag. Once you’re done adjusting yourself, Spinel leans half her side and props her elbow up on your chair, resting her chin on her hand. She’s close enough to where you can feel the heat emanating off her slightly. She’s most comfortable around you, clearly. 

You’ve seen the princess diaries many, many times as it’s one of Steven’s favorite movies - he starts singing ‘stupid cupid’ and you join along, earning a wink from him. Spinel makes comments here and there about the absurdities of royalty here, and several human traditions that the other gems laugh and nod in agreement. She seems to like it though, as she laughs pretty hard at a couple scenes.

You're content, you feel. You didn't think you'd get to experience this like, ever, with her.

Two thirds through the movie and several slices of pizza later, you notice Spinel watching you more than the movie out of the corner of your eye. You try not to be self-conscious about it, but you wish you could ask her if you have something on your face without alerting the others around you. She lays her arm down on your beanbag, parallel to yours resting against your thigh; and you have a quiet moment of panic because your immediate thought is to grab her hand and hold it.

Okay. You need to calm the fuck down, first of all. You’re getting way ahead of yourself. Also, the thought of anyone of them seeing that makes you want to run outside into the ocean to never return. You spend the rest of this movie consumed with so many thoughts about Spinel beside you that you don’t realize that the movie has already ended with the credits rolling, and the others are chatting and stretching their limbs from their stationary positions on the floor.

“Okay, do we want to watch another movie, or call it a night guys?” Steven asks, and a few of the others immediately all say they want to watch another movie. 

“Okay but what exactly are we watching?” You turn your face to look at him. “Because I don’t want to watch the sequel.”

“But I loooooooooove the sequel!!!” He cries out, putting a hand on his chest in mock offense. “It has Chris Pine’s dreamy eyes!”

“There’s another one?” Spinel interjects, raising an eyebrow. “But they didn’t really leave room for continuation.”

“Exactly my point.” You reply. “It’s a bad sequel.”

“It’s not! You just hate good fun!” Steven whines.

“I kinda wanna watch it. I like the part when she pushes him into the fountain.” Amethyst chuckles, stuffing a room-temperature slice of pizza into her mouth in a single bite.

“Sweet! Then we’re watching it.” He says smugly, getting up to change the dvd out.

“You’re so biased it’s not even funny.” You groan, flopping your head back on the beanbag dramatically. “Next time I get to pick.”

“No! You always pick horror movies!” You see Steven whip his head towards you from the corner of your eye.

“Alien is a classic though. And besides, you always pick fucking romantic comedies my guy.” You retort.

“Yeah, how can you not get enough of them?” He sighs happily. “They always end good.”

“Alien ends good..” You pout, and hear him snort a little. “The cat lives.”

The movie starts, and you try to not zone out after the first ten minutes. Spinel makes several comments about ‘who the fuck is this guy? Where’s that guy she kissed in the last movie?’ and you get the joy of being the one to explain to her that sometimes, sequels are just Like That.

An hour or so in of you only half paying attention to the movie, and you think you see Spinel’s eyes droop.

Is she.. is she tired?

Another twenty minutes pass, and yeah, she’s definitely tired. She’s leaning against her hand on your beanbag again, a mere foot or so from yourself. You catch her drifting off a little - hand slipping - quietly startling herself awake. It’s so cute. You’ve never seen her this sleepy before. It’s strange, gems don’t get tired.. You think, briefly, of what that might imply. When was the last time she slept, you wonder? You worry a little about it - clearly she needs some rest if she’s nodding off right here. 

By the time the movie is done and the credits are rolling, she’s got half her head curled into her arm that’s digging into your side, completely asleep. It makes your heart swell to see her like this. Steven turns his bedside lamp on, illuminating most of the room in a warm glow.

“Well! I’m beat.” He says, grinning and turning his face to you. “Did Spinel like the movies?”

“I’d ask her, but..” You look at him, shrugging and pointing to her.

“Is she asleep?” He whispers, some of the others looking over in your direction and away from their quiet conversations. For some reason your heart rate speeds up.

“Yeah, I wasn’t expecting her to pass out. It isn’t really like her to be this tired.” You reply. Your legs are numb from lack of circulation, and you stretch them out in front of you.

“Spinel.. sleeps?” An eyebrow shoots up into his hairline that has you feeling strange about what you had just said.

“I mean, yeah? It’s not that weird, Amethyst does it sometimes.” 

“Yeah, that’s because I’m just lazy. But you don’t see me sleeping on you.” Amethyst chuckles lowly, a slow grin spreading on her face. 

“What the hell are you implying?” You ask, feeling your face start to heat up. 

“Nothing! She must trust you a lot is all, sleeping like that.” She laughs a little. “She looks kind of like a lapdog.”

“Don’t call her a dog, jeez.” You roll your eyes, pushing down the blush on your face. 

“Look at you, defending her even when she can’t defend herself, when earlier you were so easy to insult her.” Pearl says from across the room, putting a finger to her lip and looking smug. “You know…”

“Alright, enough picking on Y/N. I wanna go to bed.” Steven says with a yawn, and the others file out of his loft down the stairs without much of a fight.

“Does she have a bed in her new place?” You watch her shoulders rise and fall with her breathing.

“No, er, she has a bedroom though. Wasn’t expecting her to be the sleeping type, honestly. I’ll get with Bismuth tomorrow about it. Shouldn’t take long, though. She can sleep on the couch tonight if anything.” He says, taking his socks off and flinging them across the other side of his room into the pile of laundry he has there.

"Alright." You say, thinking about several things at once. Hm. She looks so soft right now, and it's taking like, all of your self control to not stroke her head. It sucks that you've got to wake her. 

Steven gets up to go to the bathroom and brush his teeth before sleeping, and makes a comment about his floor better not ‘be occupied’ when he comes back. You roll your eyes, smiling at him fondly. You love his teen attitude.

Very gently, you shake Spinel's shoulders a little. You're actually surprised when she lifts her head a little, slow blinking and confusion all over her face. She's got lines pressed into her face where she slept a little too hard against her arm. It's extremely endearing. 

"Did I pass out?" She asks, rubbing her eyes but still looking very drowsy.

"Yeah. We finished the other movie. The others went off on their own, and Steven's going to sleep."

You lead the gem down the stairs, careful to not let her sleep-heavy self trip. You sit her on the couch, and walk away to grab the spare blankets from the cupboard for her. You pass Steven coming out of the bathroom on your way back over, him giving the both of you a peace sign and telling you to get decent sleep. He also apologises to Spinel in case she hears any snoring coming from him.

Once he’s out of sight, you place the spare blankets and pillow next to her on the couch. 

“Are you gonna be okay out here? Let me know if you need anything.” Leaning your hands on your hips, you give her a quick look-over. She’s tired, clearly, but a little more awake than before.

She looks at you hesitantly, like she wants to say something, but is unsure how.

"What?" You whisper at her. "Is there something wrong?"

"Um.." She looks away momentarily, like she's nervous to admit something. It's making you anxious.

"Spit it out, Spinel." You say, and it comes out a little harsher than intended. 

"I don't know if I can sleep. I've had.. really bad nightmares every time I've tried, so I stopped trying. It's been weeks.." She trails off, avoiding your eyes. "That nap earlier was the most solid sleep I've had in a while."

Oh. You.. you weren't expecting her to say that. You feel horrible about it, actually..

"Do you want to sleep with me?" You hear the words coming out of your mouth, horrified at what it kind of implied. "I-I mean, um, maybe having another person next to you might help you sleep?" You quickly correct yourself, feeling your face heat up in mortification. Yeah yeah idiot, ask the gem to sleep with you god what the hell is wrong with you.

Thankfully, you think she’s too tired to really catch on to that, as she kind of looks a little.. sheepish when her eyes lock on to yours.

“You’re not just sayin’ that, right? To be nice?” You think you see her wring her hands nervously in her lap, and you’re confused by it. Why the hell is she nervous?

"You think I'm purposefully nice?" 

"Well.." She gives you a look. 

"Come on." You say with a sigh. "My bed is big enough for the both of us, and it's comfier than this couch." 

She follows you to your bedroom, and your heartbeats pick up pace. Calm down. Sure, this is like, completely new territory for the both of you. She's seen where you live, what you're like around other people, and now she's about to see your room. It almost feels.. strangely intimate. You have no idea why this particular thought puts you on edge. Like you're.. waiting on something. 

You open your bedroom door, the both of you shuffling inside and closing the door behind you with a solid click. She looks around at the walls, intrigued by many of the things you've put up as decoration. You watch her for a moment, your brain repeating the words 'Spinel is in my bedroom' like a mantra.

"Hmmm." Is all she says, and you feel a little insulted for some reason.

"Why do I feel like you're making fun of me by saying that?"

"I like it. Reminds me of you." She gives you a cheeky smile, and you don't know if you'd rather slap her or kiss her.

All of a sudden you realize you're alone with her, like actually alone, without anyone having the ability to hear you. Not that there is anything to hear..

You shake your skull, dismissing the thoughts in your head. You're not going there today, brain. It's time to sleep.

"Before I lay down, I'm gonna change into better clothes. Make yourself comfortable." You say as you walk over to your closet, and immediately grab a tank top because you know you'll be warm. You also grab another pair of shorts. You make quick work of going out to the bathroom to change and to brush your teeth, and by the time you get back to your bedroom, she's looking at all the photostrips you have with Steven.

You pull back your blankets, sitting down on the surface of your bed and setting your phone on your nightstand.

"Aren't you tired?" You say with a yawn, and she turns to you. 

"Very." She's halfway to the bed when you stop her before she gets in, and she gives you a perplexed look.

"This is gonna sound weird, but I don't want you in my bed wearing those."

"My.. clothes?" She gives you a look, half a grin forming on her face - her canines shining a little in the dim light of your bedroom. "Are 'ya saying you want me in there naked?"

"No, stupid! It's just, you wear those clothes everywhere, and it feels unsanitary to-"

"Yeah, yeah, calm down you brat. I get it.” She gets this kind of.. excited look on her face, eyes brightening. “Am I gonna get to steal your clothes then?”

“Pick whatever you want from my closet I guess.” You say, and watch her rifle through your clothes.

“You have a lot of sweaters in here.” 

“Sweaters are comfy. They’re my favorite thing to wear.” You state, the feeling of being on edge still fully not going away. 

It’s strange, being this casual with her. Like you didn’t meet her under the circumstances you did, and didn’t go through all of that with her either. You haven’t really had many close friends in your life, but you like to think that if you had met her differently, you’d still eventually form some kind of tentative.. friendship, or whatever you call this, with her. Halfway friends, halfway something else. See now you’re just being too hopeful, because technically she hasn’t brought up feelings at all. Or that kiss. Or whatever the fuck she was going to say before she left you on the hill.

“-were you wanting to watch me change, or should I go to the bathroom?” You’re torn out of your thoughts by the sound of her voice, and you feel your face heat up as you tear your eyes away. How embarrassing. It's not like she can read your thoughts though, right? 

“Was spacing, sorry. I’ll look away.” You keep your face turned towards your phone, checking the time and thinking momentarily about setting an alarm. You hear the shuffling sounds of moving fabric and boots hitting the ground, and forego the alarm altogether. Who’re you kidding yourself, you’re not waking up early. 

Before you realize it, she’s pulling the covers away on the other side of you and you feel a weight dipping into the mattress beside you. You're getting jitters in your stomach as you turn to catch her eye, because she's got one of your oversized Sadie Killer band tees on that's large enough that the top half of her gem is peeking out, and her hair isn't up in twintails anymore and now you're just staring at this point. The fact that you can see the entirety of her neck as well as the area around her collarbones has you feeling some way that you just know is absolutely showing on your face. You've never seen her show this much skin.

"What.." She gets this sort of stubbornly shy look when she realizes you're staring at her, her cheeks coloring faintly. She looks so different like this.. vulnerable, mostly. She doesn't have her gloves on, and you're pretty sure she's wearing a pair of your shorts as well because you can see her bare legs. "Is there something on my face? Don't give me that look."

"No, I just wasn't expecting to see you with your hair down."

"It doesn't look weird does it?  I wasn't-"

"Shut up, you look cute.. and very non-threatening." You say, throwing in the jab with a bit of a smirk.

She rolls her eyes, scowling a bit. You think you see her cheeks darken ever so slightly, but it could also be a trick of the dim light in your room and the lines on her cheeks. You'd love to see just how far you can push those buttons of hers sometime. The look on her face when she's frustrated is probably one of your favorites, but you'd only ever admit that to yourself.

"Oh, I'll show you threatening.." She replies with a glint in her eye, the corner of her lips twitching. 

"Pfft, go to sleep. You're about as threatening as a chihuahua." You retort, feeling that smirk grow a little wider, but also seeing her reach for her cell phone. "Spinel, I forbid you from looking that up until the morning."

"Uggggggghhhh, you can't tell me what to do!" She flops down onto the bed next to you, magenta hair messily all around her head. She fixes it with a huff, giving you a dirty look that you find amusing as you lower yourself into the blankets you're sharing with her. "If I wasn't so tired I'd fight you."

"Oh, I'm sure." You reply with a chuckle, turning to the center of the bed to face her.

She turns her head to look at you, face drawn in a glare and yet her eyes are so very warm. Your eyes are caught here with hers for a moment, and you feel your breath catch in your throat. Two.. three seconds pass, and you're pretty sure she's looking at your mouth. She looks like she's about to say something, her lips parting ever so slightly.

And then she flops over to her other side, and you're left laying there wondering what in the fuck was that.

Ugh. You hate girls. And aliens.

"Don't let me sleep forever." She mumbles, and you lean over to your lamp to switch it off.

"No promises." The room is blanketed in darkness in a single click, and you switch on your salt lamp before leaning your head down on your pillow, back flat against the bed. There's still a tiny bit of light coming from the glow of the moon through the blinds, and you pull your blanket up to your chest. You try getting comfortable, and it's.. fairly difficult when you're hyper aware of the person next to you.

"Would it be too much to ask if you could.. y'know.." You hear her say, almost too quiet for you to hear. You think your heart does a little backflip inside your chest.

"Are you asking me to cuddle you?!" You reply, barely being able to hold the mirth in your voice back.

You hear her sigh aggravatingly, and you roll over to put an arm around her waist before she can protest. 

"You are so annoying." She spits out.

"Whatever. I knew you liked being the little spoon." You grin smugly behind her back, siphoning all the warmth from her as you can. Your knees are almost hitting the back of hers, and because of how squishy your bed is, this is the closest you think you've ever been to her as you're basically flush with her body. It's comfortable, and intimate, and you're trying to not think about how easy it'd be to just.. confess your feelings to her.

"Shut it." You hear her say; and you just know she's rolling her eyes even if you can't see her, and smiling regardless. 

Silence envelops the both of you, and you're feeling sleep start to catch up with you when all of a sudden you feel her arm move, and then her soft fingers are tentatively being entwined with yours.

Your heart speeds up tremendously and all you can hear is the blood pounding in your ears. Your face is on fucking fire, and you can feel it. She has to know that you're having an internal fucking panic right now, you're like a hundred percent sure your hand is shaking. What the fuck do you do? Are you gonna talk about this? Is this what's happening? 

A mere minute passes that feels like a lifetime of you fighting with yourself. As soon as you open your mouth to say something, you hear steady sounds of breathing coming from her.

Oh.

She's fallen asleep holding your hand.

You blow out the breath you didn't realize you were holding, and stifle the laugh that wants to come out of your mouth.

You think, maybe, that you love her.

You watch the back of her head until you get tired, and fall asleep fairly easily, her hand warm in yours.

[nyongsimp]

truly, madly, deeply (pjy)

pjy x female reader word count: 4.1k genre: fluff fluff fluff warnings: it’s based on One Direction’s song, so you might cry. also, very domestic jinyoung. there miiight or might not be a proposal. mature content: just fluff.

summary: waking up besides the love of your life has always been a blessing, and today is no exception.

The not-so-subtle light was entering the room, the rays falling right on your eyes, making you struggle to continue sleeping. You’ve never liked when the window curtains weren’t fully down as any tiny ray of sunshine would make your peaceful sleep drift away. The sheet moved over the night, so now it wasn’t fully covering you but covering only from your waist to your feet. With your eyes still closed you tried to go back to sleep, taking advantage of the state you were in, between sleep and awake.

A tug in your waist was all you needed to know that he was still asleep, so being really cautious not to wake him, you turned between his arms to contemplate him while you could. He had never been a fan of people staring directly at him. Yes, he has been an idol for a while now and an actor too, and he loves his jobs. He shows himself as someone tough and neat, sometimes people take him as cold and a bit of a bully, he has portrayed an image for so long that now he has to maintain it. But people who really knew him were aware that he’s someone with some big insecurities and really shy. He loves to admire art and beauty so much, and he doesn’t notice that he is both things too.

You opened your eyes little by little to find Jinyoung laying on his back, head tilted to your side. His eyes were closed, eyelashes touching his skin like feathers. Lips slightly parted and doing a small pout, which you adored, there was a little stubble around his mouth, which he hated and would surely shave as soon as he woke up. He moved a little, trying to spoon you to keep you closer to him, but you moved too and he stopped; his arm still around you but his legs allowing you to fit one of your legs between his.

Still looking at his face, you laid your hand on his chest, feeling the beating of his heart. He frowned a little, those full thick brows changing his peaceful state to a worried one. The hand you had on his chest moved to cup his face and then your thumb stroked his frown away as lightly as you could, once it faded his lips curled a bit, making his cheeks look puffier.

You knew you were the luckiest girl in the world if you were able to see the Park Jinyoung like this.

There were still some occasions when you questioned yourself if this was just another dream of yours, as this was too good to be true. But that’s how life works, sometimes things that seemed impossible for you end becoming true. You were sure there was something you did incredibly well in your past life, had someone up there that really loved you, or destiny was on your side, because there was an almost zero-chance possibility for this to happen, nevertheless, it was real, and it was your present.

You went back to the first time he saw you, three years ago.

You were rushing to one of your Master’s classes, coffee on one hand, bag beneath your arm, some books being held with your forearm against your chest. Professor Han would be pissed if you arrived late again, but it wasn’t really your fault that the classrooms were at different ends of the campus. You cursed at your twenty-two-old-self for taking the decision five years ago of coming to South Korea to do a Master’s in Korean Language, thinking it would be easy which, spoiler, it wasn’t. You fastened your pace.

Your phone in your free hand buzzed and you took a look at it; it was a twitter notification: GOT7 would hold a meet & greet at your auditorium. Great, this would be their first OT7 activity after all they went through: getting out of JYPE, winning the lawsuit to keep their name and songs, and the korean members going to their military service. And you will be missing it because you had to deliver your final paper to professor Han or you’ll have to face taking his class again next spring. Which you couldn't or wouldn't as this was your last year here and it would mean saying another year but this time without the scholarship.

Muttering curses in your native language, you didn’t notice a large group of people coming until it was too late; your blouse had a huge stain of coffee, the books you held were all over the place, the only good thing was that your paper was safe. You didn’t even have time to say anything before lots of screams were making you deaf, hands were all over the place collecting your stuff, phones were all around you. What was this?

‘Is she ok?’, ‘she should be more careful’, ‘look, another idiot who falls so they have to pick her up’, those were some of the things people were saying.

“Here, let me help you,” a voice you recognized pretty well told you, a hand was extended to your direction. “I’m sorry for the trouble, but you have to be more careful of your surroundings, if not you’ll get hurt” he flashed you a friendly smile.

You took his hand to get up and thanked him, another man gave you your bag, other your books, and the last one gave you your coffee mug. You thanked them once again before saying you were sorry and bowing a couple times. They left, and so did the security guards and the fans, you stood still. 

Park Jinyoung had smiled at you and helped you get up.

Shortly after that first encounter you started bumping into each other, and after six months of doing so, you joked about hanging out sometime and he agreed, so he asked for your phone number and you gave it to him. A few days later you started hanging out with him and a few months later he asked you to be his girlfriend, the only downfall: you had to go back to your native country, so he helped you to find a job at his agency. Jinyoung asked you to move in with him while celebrating your first anniversary, and six months later he traveled to meet your parents.

With that travel the scandal exploded, everyone wanting to know more about the secret girlfriend of the most secretive members of GOT7. Most fans took the news pretty well. After all, Jinyoung was turning thirty-three and everyone was waiting for a dating scandal from him as he was the only missing from the seven men. And now, a year and a half later, you were laying between his arms, admiring his features, appreciating his warmth.

You felt his hand sneaking under your shirt to touch your lower back. “You’re staring” his morning voice finally made its appearance, ears turning red.

“Yes, I am,” he moved closer to you and opened his eyes, staring directly at yours. “I love watching my boyfriend.”

He laughed and you smiled. You weren’t lying, you loved watching him doing anything. To you, he was the most perfect human being you could share your life with. Both of you fitted so well, of course there were some fights, but nothing that couldn’t be fixed. You were truly in-love with him, no matter what others said.

His stomach growled, of course he was starving. Last night when he arrived he went straight to the bedroom, practice being really tiring to him as the next comeback was being prepared. He didn’t even eat something on his way to your place, and when he fell on the bed you had to help him to change his clothes so he could sleep more comfortably. And as today was his free day, he slept as much as he could, and by that you meant around twelve hours.

“Good morning.”

“Seems like someone’s hungry.”

“No, I’m not,” he said, placing your head on his chest and finally hugging you with both arms.

“Jinyoung…” you warned.

“Let’s stay like this a little longer,” he hummed, his voice vibrating on his chest. “We can go eat later, let me enjoy being like this with my girlfriend” he placed a kiss on your hair and you felt your heart warm.

Even though you knew it was a bad idea as he would fall asleep again, you let him have the opportunity of being like this. He was playing with your hair while you were drawing circles on his chest’s exposed skin. Last night was too much struggle for you to try and put him on a shirt as he was really sleepy for his own good, so you let him shirtless and enjoyed the warmth of his skin while you could. As soon as you heard the light snores, you decided it was time to make breakfast, and against all your desires to keep sleeping along your boyfriend, you got up. He immediately seeked your body, pouting and frowning when he couldn’t reach you. You tied your hair and walked over to his side, gently brushing his hair out of his face and kissed his cute nose before going to the kitchen.

You put some coffee to brew and scrambled some eggs, then chopped two tomatoes, sliced an apple, and took out a banana and a few strawberries. Once the eggs were finished you put bread to toast while serving some yogurt and granola in a bowl. As you were finishing, you placed the food in a tray so you could move all of that at once. You made your way to the bedroom and hoped for Jinyoung to be asleep. His idol agenda was crazy, and with his upcoming movie filming he would need as much rest as possible. He’ll hate not being able to give his best and will keep blaming himself for it.

He was still sleeping when you entered the bedroom. You placed the tray on the nightstand, and then walked over the window to open the curtains a little bit without disturbing Jinyoung. Now it was time to wake him up. So there you went again to his side of the bed, sitting on the edge of it, hoping it wouldn’t make that much noise.

You couldn’t help but look at him again, seeing him this calm and relaxed would always bring peace to your life. You were sure you could explode from love right then. This was one of the highlights of your relationship with him; him trusting you enough to show you his defenceless self, his fears, his worries, his tears and also his joys, his wonderful laughs, his playfulness, and everything he often had to hide from the rest.

You leaned over to kiss him on the cheek to wake him, but he surprised you when he trapped you with his arms over him, you let out a small and quick scream. The kiss intended on the cheek ended up on his lips. He laughed fondly while kissing you.

“God, I could wake up like this every morning and never get tired of this,” he said, eyes half-closed and lips brushing with yours. “Good morning.”

You laughed lightly. “Good morning,” a peck on his lips was all he got before you could escape to get the tray. “Here, I made breakfast.”

The look Jinyoung was giving you made you weak in the knees. It wasn’t a lustful one, even though the shirt you were using was his and you weren’t using a bra and he knew it. His look was a fond one. The one that can make you feel all warm from love, because you know that their eyes light up like that only for you and you’re the only one able to see it. His eyes never left you as you approached him again, left the tray on his legs and then sat beside him.

Both of you started eating, sharing what happened this week. He was being really secretive about the comeback, more secretive than he ever has, and it only intrigued you more. He knew you were a fan, but that hasn’t matter before, maybe this time there would be something bigger, and you respected that. It was exciting anyways. He told you that next week he would be coming home later than usual as Jaebeom asked him to run some errands with him, you told him that your parents were coming next weekend so there would be a dinner being held as they missed you a lot and your dad wanted to make sure that his princess were being well treated.

Jinyoung’s free day went faster than you expected. You decided not to go out, and instead to watch a movie and order in, so he could have a relaxing day. He didn’t decide which movie to watch though, this time it was your turn and you decided to watch the live action version of The Beauty and the Beast, he knew you would cry when Evermore came up, so he hugged you closer when Dan Stevens started singing. He made fun of you when you started saying the dialogues in your mother tongue, but he loved hearing you speak another language than English or Korean, he just would never say that to you out loud.

At the time you both had to go back to bed he went into the bedroom first as you wanted to wash yourself before going to sleep, when you went into your bedroom you saw Jinyoung sitting at the edge of the bed. You kept drying your hair with your towel until you were kneeling in front of him.

"What's going on?" you touched his knee and he looked at you, your thumb was caressing his skin and he placed his hand on top of yours. "Nyongs, are you ok?" "Yeah, it's just…" he gave your hand a squeeze and then placed a kiss on top of it, his eyes drifting to his drawer and then to your hand again. "I feel like this is too good to be true, as if I'm going to wake up at any moment and you won't be here. I'm afraid that I could lose you."

You stood up and your hands cupped his face and you made him look at you, "listen, Jinyoung, there's no way on Earth that you could lose me or that I would ever leave you. You're all I've ever wanted and more, much more," you kissed him on his lips and then hugged him.

"You promise?" he asked, his voice trembling a little.

You knew he was afraid, that was your fear too. Your relationship was never too vocal when it came to feelings. Yes, you mocked each other at times by calling each of you by boyfriend or girlfriend. But there weren't tons of I love yous, and the pet names had died long ago in the relationship, those were saved for special occasions. You hugged him tighter and he enclosed you in his embrace, his head on your chest and arms wrapped on your waist.

"Princess? Do you promise?"

He was really affected, so you nodded, "yes, Jinyoung. I promise."

Jinyoung broke the hug and then stood up and looked you in the eyes. He was holding your hands and then he was kneeling in front of you, "then say yes."

"What do you mean?"

"Let's get married," he opened the little velvet box you didn't notice he was holding until now. "Promise me that from now on it'll be the two of us forever. That, of course, until and if you wanna have kids."

You were speechless, like you forgot how to breathe. Your hands were covering your mouth and he was looking at you waiting for the answer. How long has he been hiding this ring? was the first thing that came to your mind but you shushed your thoughts before making Jinyoung stand up again.

"Then let's do it. Let's be us forever, with kids and everything" you said with a smile on your face and your eyes full of tears of joy.

He placed the ring where it belonged and then hugged you.

________________________________

It was Saturday morning when you decided to hang out with your parents for the day as Jinyoung had to record something for their fans. Your mother was extremely excited to go out and know Seoul while your father was still struggling with the jet lag. They told you about the family, how your cousins, aunts and uncles were doing. It has been so long since you last saw them, you missed them but you also didn’t have the time to go back to your hometown as much as you wanted.

You three spent all day together, your mother even bought you a beautiful casual dress as she wanted to gift you something. You ate at one of your favorite restaurants knowing how picky your dad was about food, walked beside Han River and watched all the people on their bikes or spending some time with their loved ones. It was almost dawn when you received a call from Jinyoung, letting you know that he would go and pick you and your parents up to have dinner together with his parents.

Jinyoung and you had decided to tell your parents about the engagement over dinner, hoping that none of them would collapse right there. Once you arrived at the restaurant you made the reservation, Jinyoung introduced your parents to his and, much to your surprise, your parents bowed politely.

After that, dinner became complicated, your parents speaking their respective mother tongues, and you and Jinyoung working as translators, but it seemed like it went good anyway. When you and Jinyoung broke down the news to them it felt like an avalanche of emotions; your mom was crying, your dad was shocked and consoling your mom, Mrs. Park was clapping while telling you how much she wanted her baby to start having babies of his own, and Mr. Park was coughing as he was drinking water when Jinyoung spilled everything.

Once everyone went back to their senses the questions began, and you told them not to worry as both of you wanted to do something small and private, just some relatives and your closest friends. Both fathers nodded while your mothers were lost now in their recent talk about grandsons or granddaughters. When the dinner came to an end your mothers exchanged numbers with a promise to try to communicate as much as they could while Jinyoung’s father flinched at your father’s handshake. You looked at your dad, scolding him with your eyes as you had previously told him that their handshake wasn’t as strong as the one he was used to. You said your goodbyes and left the restaurant.

After dropping your parents at their hotel you went back to your place. Jinyoung was driving with his hand on your thigh, and you looked at him when he drove by your building.

“Jaebeom-hyung sent me a text, seems like I forgot something with him,” he smiled at you and you relaxed, you hated surprises.

You looked out of the car, loving the way the lights were on at night, it was like magic. Seoul’s traffic was really troublesome, that was one of the reasons using public transportation was better. You didn’t remember quite well where Jaebeom lived, so you decided to sleep a bit. You knew the pair too well to know that it wouldn’t be just ‘picking it up’, it would take an hour or so to go back to your place, so Jinyoung would wake up once you were there.

Jinyoung was caressing your arm to wake you.

“We arrived?” he hummed in response, you stretched yourself and took off the seatbelt. “Alright, let’s go.”

“Here, let me help you” his hand was extended to help you out of the car.

“What−” you stopped yourself when you noticed you weren’t at the city, but at an observatory. “Nyongs, what’s this?”

He just shrugged his shoulders and offered you his arm. As you walked you saw a square piece of cloth laying on the ground and some candles around it, the view was amazing. You looked speechless at the man walking beside you.

What was going on?

As you got nearer the cloth you noticed a lot of flowers and petals laying around it and a bouquet of it at the center of the cloth. Pink, blue, yellow, red… you didn’t know a lot about flowers, you loved them, yes, but you knew nothing about the meanings and all that. The only flowers you could remember their names to were the orchids and the sunflowers. The city lights made it impossible for you to see the stars but you still had the moon.

When you finally arrived at the place Jinyoung wanted you to be, he handed you the bouquet and hugged you.

“Wait,” you said in his embrace. “Am I forgetting something? Why are we here?” your impatience made its appearance.

“What? Am I forbidden from doing something special for my fianceé?” Jinyoung retorted, grabbing the guitar you didn’t even notice was on the mat.

“But−” he kissed you.

“But nothing, be quiet.”

He started playing a song you knew too well, after all GOT7 wasn’t the first band you loved and he was well aware of it, constantly dealing with your love for Harry Styles. How and when he memorized the chords and lyrics from the song was a mystery to you, but there he was, singing Truly Madly Deeply to you. Tears started to form in your eyes and you smiled up to him. You took in the smell of the bouquet.

“Truly, madly, deeply I am. Foolishly, completely fallen. And somehow you kicked all my walls in,” he placed the guitar on the floor and came nearer to you and placed his hands on your hips making you slow-dance. “So, baby, say you’ll always keep me truly, madly, deeply in-love with you.”

"What are you doing?" you wrapped your hands around his neck.

"Dancing with you," he stated as if matter of fact.

"I mean, what's all of this?"

"Oh. Well… this was the actual proposal. I told the boys that I wanted to marry you and Jaebeom-hyung told me to ask you already, so he and Mark-hyung helped me a little. Jackson and Bambam accompanied me to look for the ring a couple months ago."

"What? Months?" you frowned a little.

"Yeah," he laughed. Oh, you loved when he laughed. "And actually Yugyeom was the one who told me to go for something simple and not the ring the other two were thinking,” he shrugged. “He was right, though."

You stopped dancing and sat on the mat, "and what about the song? I have never told you about it."

"That was Youngjae, he heard from his girlfriend that you said that that was the proposal song. But the other day seemed like it was the right time to do it, and this was because you deserve it," Jinyoung placed an arm over your shoulders and kept you close to him.

"Be honest with me, you did it anyway because you didn't want the boys to be all whiny at you after all you put them through for this, don't you?"

"Well…"

"Don't you?" you squinted your eyes at him and poked at his side.

As Jinyoung wasn’t saying a thing, you decided to tickle him. He started laughing from the tickles and fell on his back on the mat, you on top of him, his hands keeping you in place while you kept tickling him. His hands left your hips to grab your hands, placing them at his sides to stop you from tickling him.

He pouted, "yes." 

You knew he knew his pouting was one of your weaknesses, and still both of you enjoyed how this ended.

You give him a peck before he could deepen the kiss.

Jinyoung couldn't help but to feel like his chest was about to explode. Everytime he looked at you, he could picture you wearing your white bridal dress while he was trying to be strong as he looked at you walking down the aisle, everyone else blurry but you. He could also picture how the two of you started having children of your own, he dreamt of the day he could experiment a pregnancy with you, or to adopt if you didn't want to get pregnant or couldn't, either way those would be your kids.

He could picture all his life from now on, holding you close, being sure this wasn't a dream.

Hearing his heartbeat, you did that too. 

And Seoul’s night sky was your witness.

[myhockeyworld87]

Baby Blunder - Tyler Seguin

Requested: Yes

Word Count: 3099

Warnings: None

POV: Both, starts of Reader, then switches to Tyler

Notes: This was really a cute request I had fun writing. Hope you all enjoy it! Peace, Love and Hugs all!

READER POV

Seeing that little plus sign pop up, only confirmed what you’d suspected the last couple days. You’d been feeling the exact same way you had when you were pregnant the first time; only then, you had no idea why you were nauseous most of the morning. It had taken ten weeks before you discovered you were carrying Tyler’s baby then; now you couldn’t be more than five weeks along by your calculations. “You’re going to be a big brother, Liam.” You bent down to pick up your two-year-old, swinging him in your arms.

 “Yay!” Little Liam, cheered, more from the swinging around than being a big brother. He probably had no idea what that meant. “More Mommy more.” He cheered, as you twirled him around one last time before setting him back on the ground.

“Now, we can’t tell Daddy; we have to make it special. Okay?” Liam shook his head yes. “Hmmm, how should we tell him?” With Liam, it was easy, you’d gone the typical route and got a baby size Seguin jersey with Daddy written on the back. Tyler had been ecstatic; even though you’d only been married for a short six months. This time you wanted to do something a little different; so you were wracking your brain trying to come up with a clever idea. Finally, you decided you’d make a special meal, baby back ribs, baby potatoes, baby carrots and baby peas; with baby bananas foster for dessert.

 You and Liam, headed to the store to get all the ingredients for your baby themed dinner. On the way you passed a custom-made T-shirt shop; on a whim you stopped in and had them make a cute little shirt for Liam that said, I’m so cute, Mom and Dad decided to do it again. Big Brother coming May 2020. It would make for a great picture to send both of your families.

 Tyler was away on the Stars first road trip of the season and wouldn’t be home until tomorrow; so you had time to implement your plan. That night you and Liam watched the Stars play in Detroit. You thought for sure they were going to come away with a win. Tyler scored his first goal of the season; you and Liam cheering him on from the living room of your home. However, the third period saw them fall to Detroit; it was a disappointing loss, and you could see it had taken a toll on Tyler as he walked down the ramp to the locker room. Liam had fallen asleep on the couch, so you carried him into bed. The phone rang, Tyler on the other end. “Hey babe, that was a tough loss tonight. Wish we could’ve been there in person for your first goal.”

 “We played like shit tonight. I’m glad you and Liam weren’t there to see us. It’s like we can’t gel as a team or something.” You could hear the frustration in his voice.

 “Ty, it’s only the third game of the season; you guys will find a rhythm soon enough.”

 “Yeah, well if it doesn’t happen soon; it’s going to knock us out of everything.”

 “Babe, you’re over-reacting; there are eighty-two games and you’ve only played three. Give it time.”

 He blew out a breath, annoyed at both the team and your optimism. “You just don’t get it (Y/N). I’m out there skating my ass off, calling for the puck; the passes are off and I’m crashing the net, but no one on my line is there backing me up. Jamie’s playing on a different line, things are just off.”

 He continued on like that for the next several minutes; and you let him. He just needed to blow off some steam; by tomorrow he would realize it was only the start of the season, and that things would come around. Eventually he asked about Liam and what new things he’d learnt today. You told him how he’d finally got the L, M, N, O, P down on his alphabet; but omitted the part where Liam found out he was going to be a big brother. Finally, he told you he loved you and that he’d see you tomorrow afternoon.

 In the morning, you prepped all the food for your big dinner, Liam playing with the dogs in the background. Around two in the afternoon, Tyler strode through the door. “Hey hun,” his voice sounded dejected.

 “Hey Ty, how was the flight?” You asked walking over to your husband and greeted him with a kiss; hoping to improve his mood.

 “It was fine.” Gerry and Marshall had wandered over; Tyler aimlessly petting them. “Where’s my little guy?”

“He’s napping, with Cash.”

 “I think I’ll join him. I couldn’t sleep on the flight; Jamie and I were trying to come up with ways to get things back on track. What’s for dinner?”

 Not wanting to give much away, you answered simply; “Baby back ribs.”

 “Sounds great babe. I’m gonna check on Liam and then grab a nap myself, maybe I’ll dream of how we can win this next game.”

 “That’s fine. I’ll wake you up for dinner, if Liam doesn’t.” Hopefully he’d be in a better mood once he woke up. You cleaned up the toys and finished up dessert, until Liam got up, full of energy. Keeping him quiet was a chore, but the two of you played with his trains, then turned on the cartoon version of the Lion King. Around five you sent him in to wake up his dad.

 Liam ran into the bedroom and jumped on the bed. “Daddy!” The toddler climbed all over Tyler, practically smothering him in the process. “Miss you.”

 “I missed you too, bud.” Tyler said groggily, as he rubbed the curls atop Liam’s head. Liam was the spitting image of his father, messy curls with dark chocolate brown eyes and a smile that could melt your heart; vaguely you wondered if the new baby would have the same traits. Tyler lifted, Liam up in the air, and giggles filled the room.

 “Again, daddy again.” Liam was definitely putting his father in a better mood.

 “Ok you two, I’m going to finish dinner. It will be ready in about ten minutes; make sure you wash up before.”

 “Yes, mommy.” Both Tyler and Liam responding before more laughter erupted.

 As you entered the kitchen a bout of nerves hit you; it wasn’t that you were worried about Tyler’s reaction, for the two of you had talked about having more children. It was just that you wanted everything to be perfect. Everything was laid out on the table, as the two peas in a pod came strolling into the kitchen.

 “Peas?” Tyler questioned. “You know I’m not fond of those.” He was helping Liam in his booster seat; as he turned up his nose to the vegetables.

 “I no like peas either.” Liam chimed in, wanting to be just like his daddy.

 “Well they’re good for you, so you’re both going to eat them.” Tyler exchanged a conspiratorial glance with his son; then pointed to the dogs. “Don’t even think about it you two.”

 “Mommy’s no fun.” You rolled your eyes at your husband, as you continued to make a plate for your son. Keeping an eye on Tyler, you watched for his reaction as he scooped some baby red potatoes onto his plate, then piled on some baby back ribs; never noticing the carefully laid out theme you had going on.

 “Would you like some BABY carrots.” Emphasizing the word baby, so he would take notice.

 “Sure hun.” Handing the small plate over to Liam, you watched as he ate enthusiastically; then made yourself a plate. Tyler’s phone beeped and he glanced down at the message that came through. “Son of a ...”

 “Language.” You warned him.

 “Sorry, it’s just we can’t seem to catch a break. Jamie just text and said Dickinson is out for at least four weeks. How are we supposed to win a game, when we’re losing players left and right? I’m telling you something’s gotta change.” He was shoveling food in, not even paying attention as he spooned the dreaded baby peas in his mouth. “We need to make some line changes; and it wouldn’t hurt to practice a bit more.”

 “Well I’m sure Monty’s on top of things; that is what they pay him for.”

 “Yeah well, sometimes I don’t agree with some of his calls. Like last night, he changed the lines midstream and then the new guys didn’t realize it and we got caught with a stupid too many men on the ice penalty. There’s no excuse for that.”

 He was so engrossed with dissecting the game that he wasn’t paying one bit to the dinner in front of him. Part of you wondered if you should just come out and tell him the news, instead you tried a different tactic. “How’s your dinner? Did you want more baby back ribs?”

 “What? Oh no, I’m good. Dinner’s great hun.” He continued to eat the meal, which effectively went over his head. “But seriously babe, that penalty should’ve never happened.” He went on about the game during the duration of the meal. Finally, you brought out dessert, after you cleaned up Liam. “What’s this babe?”

 “Bananas foster.”

 “Why are the bananas so small?” Your spirits picked up as he examined the dish.

 “I used baby ones.”

 “Oh cool, that was smart thinking; much easier for Liam to eat the little ones. He never finishes a whole one.” Frustration started to set in, and you could feel yourself getting irritated. The three of you finished dessert; where you tried at least three times to tell Tyler you were pregnant. However, he kept interrupting you with different comments about the poor play of the Stars. Finally, you went and cleaned up the dishes; as Ty played with Liam in the living room

 The phone beeped again, Tyler checking the screen. “Hey babe, you don’t care if I go over to Jamie’s and watch film. We really need to go over it again and see what we can fix.”

 The dish in your hand fell back into the sink; as anger bubbled up inside you. “Yes, Tyler I do care. You’ve been gone for three days, and I don’t think it’s too much to ask for you to spend a few hours with your family.” You slammed the last of the dishes into the dishwasher. “But if the team is more important than us; then by all means go. I’m going to go run a bath for our child. If you can wait five minutes, while I do that; that would be helpful.”

 “Geez, mommy is in a bad mood.” You heard him say as you walked back the hall, into Liam’s bathroom, where you began to cry. This part of pregnancy you remembered well; your hormones had been off the charts the last time, apparently this time was no different.

 TYLER”S POV

 You didn’t know what had set (Y/N) off; things seemed fine at dinner. You’d seen her get a little on edge when you’d been gone on a long road trip; Liam could be a handful from time to time. “Were you good for mommy today, buddy?” Your little man nodding his head enthusiastically. “Hmmm, then she must be mad at daddy.” Quickly you text Jamie back, letting him know you weren’t going to be able to make it over. Scooping Liam up you headed into his room. “Alright, lil dude, let’s grab some pajamas and daddy will give you a bath tonight, while mommy rests.” The two of you made your way into Liam’s closet; where you proceeded to look for his pjs.

 Squirming in your arms, you set your child down. “New ones;” he said wandering over to a bag that was off to the side.

 “Okay bud, let’s wear the new ones. Mommy must have been shopping, so I don’t why she’s in a bad mood.” Taking the bag from your son, you opened it to find a shirt inside. “I don’t think these are pjs buddy, there aren’t any bottoms in here.” You took another look into the bag making sure you didn’t miss them.

 You were about to put the shirt back in the bag, when Liam said; “new shirt daddy.” That’s when you pulled the shirt out and really looked at it.

 Slowly you let the words sink in as you read the writing. “What’s this? You’re going to be a big brother.” Liam’s little face lit up, as if he understood. Suddenly everything dawned on you; (Y/N) was pregnant. The baby carrots and ribs all made sense; she’d been trying to tell you, and all you did was complain about how poorly the team had performed over the last several games. “Oh shit. Your dad is really dumb you know that.”

 “Shit.” The two-year-old repeated, then giggled.

 “Oh no, don’t say that or daddy will be in more trouble.” And you were in enough as it was. “Come on bud, let’s go find mommy and see if we can make it up to her.” Grabbing Liam’s hand, you headed into the adjoining bathroom, where your wife sat on the edge of the tub, wiping away tears. “Hey baby, I think we need to talk.” Liam scooted over to his mom, wanting to comfort her, as she placed him on her lap. She quickly turned off the water, ignoring you in the process; rightfully so. You’d been an ass, not even asking her how her day was or if anything was new. “So, I a... found this in Liam’s closet.” You held out the little t-shirt; and a fresh set of tears erupted. Swiftly you sat down beside your wife and child. “I’m so stupid, (Y/N) I should’ve noticed how much effort you put into dinner. Ugh, and that little bananas comment; I mean of course you were trying to tell me something, not just making smaller food for Liam. I was just too wrapped up in the team’s problems to pay any attention.” She still wasn’t looking at you. “Baby, I’m so sorry.” Reaching over you rubbed her arm, where she held your first born. “I’m really excited about baby number two.”

 Finally, she looked over at you, a small smile faint across her lips. “Me too.” A wide grin spread over your face, and hers grew bigger.

 “How about you buddy, are you excited to be a big brother?” You tickled Liam’s belly, eliciting a laugh from him; as he nodded his head. “And do you want a brother or a sister?”

 “Both!” He exclaimed cheerfully.

 “Woah, easy bud, how about one or the other.” You wiped the tears off (Y/N)’s face. “I love you sweetheart. Thank you for making me a dad again.” Cupping her chin, you brought her lips to yours, pouring all your love into a devastatingly sweet kiss; that didn’t last long enough for your liking. “Why don’t you let me bath Liam, while you go relax on the couch; then we can all cuddle. How’s that sound?”

 “It sounds perfect.” She handed Liam off to you, and headed out to get comfy.

 Setting the little boy in the tub, you watched as he splashed around with his toys; before you washed all the grim little boys get into off of him. “Out daddy.”

 “Ok bud, let’s get you dried off and we can go out and snuggle mommy. She’ll like that.” Once Liam was all dry, you lathered on the pink baby lotion your wife loved, giving him that clean baby smell; then placed his big brother t-shirt on him. Combing his little curls back, you had to admit he was a miniature you. “There ya go lil man, all clean for mommy.” You cleaned up the bathroom, before the two of you headed out to (Y/N).

 Liam took off, the minute he saw his mom. “Mmmm, you smell so good peanut.” (Y/N) gathered the tiny tot into her arms, nuzzling the crook of his neck; causing him to laugh. She looked happier now.

 “Babe do you want anything before I sit down?” You’d bring her the world if you could, that’s how much you loved this woman.

 “Juice,” Liam shouted out.

 “No, I’m good.” You grabbed a sippy cup and filled it with apple juice, then headed over to the couch. “What do you say to daddy?”

 “Thank you.”

 “Your welcome lil man.” Plopping down, you scooted your wife over so you could wrap your arms around her and caress her belly. As she leaned against you, you whispered in her ear. “I hope this one’s a little girl.”

 She turned her face up towards you. “Really? You don’t want another boy?”

 “Don’t get me wrong, I want a whole hockey team of little guys; but I need a little girl, exactly like her mommy.” She smiled widely at you. “She’ll have your beautiful smile, your charming personality and most of all your loving heart.” You kissed (Y/N) quick on the lips, then groaned. “Ugh,” she looked at you questioningly. “I just realized, if she’s just like you, I’m going to have to lock her in her room until she’s forty.” (Y/N) laughed and Liam joined in; not knowing what the two of you found so funny.

 “Still want a girl?”

 “Oh absolutely. Even if it means I have to be that dad that glares at every boy that looks in her direction. I want a little girl just like you to spoil rotten. She’ll be perfect, just like her mom.” She leaned up and kissed you passionately.

 “My mommy.” Liam interjected, squirming between you two.

 “She’s not just your mommy anymore bud.” You countered, placing a kiss on his little forehead.

 “No, my mommy.” He said wrapping his little arms around (Y/N)’s neck.

 “Looks like someone is a little bit jealous.” Your beautiful wife squeaked out, as Liam kissed her cheeks. “At least he’s got a few months to adjust, before he has to share completely.”

 “Oh, he has to share you now,” you exclaimed, as you smothered both your wife and son with kisses; all three of you laughing. When the giggles finally calmed down, you looked at (Y/N). “I love you.”

 “I love you too.” She breathed.

 “I love too.” Liam joined in.

 Stroking (Y/N)’s belly, you said; “I can’t wait to tell you I love you too little one.” Suddenly nothing else in the world mattered but the three lives you held in your arms.

[saiilorstars]

Next Stop, Everywhere

Chapter 23: Things Change 

Fandom: Doctor Who

Pairing: 10th Doctor x Female OC

(Minerva’s face claim: Victoria Camacho)

~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~

Chapter summary: Minerva finally comes home to see someone very special to her and hopefully raise her spirits a bit.

// Story Masterlist //

The Doctor entered my room with another dessert in his hand, a hopeful look on his face as he approached my bed.

"Doctor, I said I wanted vanilla pudding," I informed, giggling when his hope turned into irritation. It was far too much fun irritating him like that. Since I'd been stuck in bed for a good while, I had to find a source of entertainment somewhere.

"Are you serious?" He frowned.

I nodded, "I said clearly that I wanted vanilla..." But my certainty faded when I started to think about it. This had been happening for a while too. "...or...maybe I did say chocolate...hm...no, wait, pistachio?"

The Doctor sighed and sat down on the chair beside my bed. He wasn't very surprised about my doubt, neither was I by this point. "Don't try to think too hard. It could hurt you."

"Sorry," I reached for the vanilla pudding, "But thank you for tolerating my indecision."

"It's alright, although I'm seriously not okay with you rejecting the banana pudding," he gave me a sharp look.

"I told you, I like banana in everything...except pudding form."

He shook his head, "Why would you say that?"

"I don't know," I shrugged, "It's just its yellow color sort of reminds me of like the goop of your brain or something...ew."

"Seriously?" he raised an eyebrow, "That's your excuse?"

"I'm sorry if I don't want to eat a pudding brain," I said as innocently as possible, "It's what it reminds me of."

"Your comparisons are wrong," he pointed.

"And so is this," I waved the vanilla pudding, "I think I did say chocolate."

"Minerva just eat the bloody pudding," he snapped, "Or I'll force it down your throat."

"Ouch, you're rude today," I said innocently as I took a spoonful of my pudding.

"Sorry," he immediately apologized, his genuine sorriness making me feel bad because this wasn't such a big deal. Like I said, I'd been bedridden for some time now and I needed to find fun somewhere.

"I was just joking around, Martian, don't overreact."

"Is there anything else you need?" He stood up and fluffed the pillow behind me, "Are you thirsty? Do you want a milkshake?"

"I'm still eating my pudding," I reminded, waving my spoon as he stepped back.

"Right, right," he nodded, "Are you sure you're okay? Nothing hurts?"

I smiled, shaking my head, "Nope, I feel fine. Just fine. Why do you keep asking that? Martha does the same thing. So I lost my memory, but I'm okay."

For some reason, my memories of the last couple months had been lost. I could barely see the faint images of the Family shooting the Doctor, Martha and I in the TARDIS. And a watch...and Kaeya's necklace. But that was it. After that, I couldn't remember a thing.

About a week ago, I woke up in my room in the TARDIS without a clue of how I'd gotten there. It was a bit scary at first, not knowing what happened to me but the Doctor and Martha had quickly established I was alright despite the small memory loss. They explained two months had passed since we were shot down in the TARDIS. We'd gone into hiding in the year 1913, the Doctor posing as John Smith who was a school teacher. Martha and I had been assigned as his 'inherited' maids. Figures we'd end up serving the Martian. But according to them, we had been discovered a month early and chaos had arose. In the end, the Doctor returned and helped save us again. It sounded right, but I couldn't remember.

All I had as a memory from that adventure was a big ole burnt spot on my neck, which Martha continuously said was the origin of my memory loss. But no matter how many times I asked why she thought that, or what caused the burned spot, she wouldn't answer. I would even ask the Doctor and he would just wave it off or avoid the answer altogether. I knew there was more than they weren't telling me, it was especially obvious in the Doctor.

He seemed guilty, he seemed thoughtful, distracted. There were times where we were talking and suddenly I'd find that he wasn't listening to me; his mind was somewhere else. I wondered what made him think so much. I asked Martha about it but she seemed mad so she tended to divert the answer. She just said that it was his fault and he should know by now. That only made me more confused. I had one distracted friend and another angry friend. I suspected something else had happened in 1913, but neither of them would say more about it and I just couldn't remember anything.

But one thing that I clearly saw was how guilty the Doctor looked. I didn't understand why but I assumed he felt the memory loss was his fault for bringing us to 1913. As much as I told him it wasn't his fault, he claimed he wasn't guilty and that he was alright.

What a liar.

And due to the Doctor's guilt, he had taken the job of aiding me this last week very seriously. While he couldn't cook anything, I was always brought a good meal three times a day, made by Martha. He never left my side unless there was something truly wrong in the TARDIS that needed his services. Every five minutes, he always asked if I was alright and if I needed something. At first, I did care for his extra attention, but when I noticed how unhappy he was, how distracted and absent he was at times, it made me realize how wrong something was. I wanted to know what it was to then know how to fix it and then do it so he could be happy again.

"I'm sorry, Minerva," the Doctor took my hand, snapping me out of my thoughts, "I'm really sorry."

"Sorry about what?" I frowned, liking our hands interlocking but the fact he looked sad took it away.

"You don't remember?"

"Nothing yet, sorry," I shrugged.

He sighed, nodding and patting my hand, "It's alright. You don't have to be sorry for that."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, why do you ask?"

"Because you've been a terrible liar this past week."

"Everything's fine," he pulled a small smile, easily fake.

"You're lying," I whispered, watching his eyes intently. He did the same thing no matter how casual he wanted to act. It was fairly easy to catch when he couldn't even meet my gaze for more than a few seconds. "You're broken inside."

"How do you know that?" he tried acting like what I was saying had no relevancy.

"Because just like you could read my eyes, I can read yours. And right now, they're telling me they've seen something that broke you. You're not okay and it actually hurts me that you don't have the sufficient trust to tell me."

"I trust you, I do."

"No you don't, because we tell each other everything and right now you're choosing to hide it. Why?"

"There's just some things I'm not ready to say."

"Is it about Kaeya?"

"What?" He sounded edgy about that so I knew it had something to do with her.

"Kaeya's alive and you've made no remarks about it. No smiles, no happy dances, no nothing. She's the love of your life and you're not even smiling that she's still breathing somewhere in the world."

That was what confused me the most! A week ago, I informed him the love his life was alive and was returning for him. That was actually the only memory I had from 1913; Kaeya's message. As soon as I woke up in my room, her words ran through my head: "I am alive". While it broke my heart that she was coming back, it did make me just the slightest happy that the Doctor hadn't lost his love in the war. I thought he'd be extremely happy, giddy, jumping off the walls out of excitement...

...but there was nothing.

I would've thought he would've started his own search for the princess just to meet even earlier. But instead, he had stayed with the boring ole human that was me. He took care of me, even more than Martha I dare say because she had to go and sleep...but not him. He stayed, literally 24/7 all last week, just because I lost some memories of two months, and the necklace I had worn left me a bit weak. Bad as it was, I liked he chose me this time, even if it was just for a small moment.

"She's not the love of my life.." the Doctor said, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"But you love her, don't you? You never stopped even if Rose was able to sneak her way into your hearts. You loved her too but it doesn't compare to Kaeya's love." I was a bit bitter but I think it's understandable.

He frowned, "I didn't love Rose."

"Yes you did. She loved you. I know it." It's not like her attitude or threats had anything to do with the fact she loved him...

"Well, perhaps she did but that doesn't mean I loved her. I mean, okay, yes, I admit it...I did have some affection for her, I was attracted...but love? No. I didn't. I don't."

My eyes widened as I processed his words, "...you...you don't?"

"No," he was smiling about this for some reason, "I don't. I never did, Minerva. Why would you think that?"

"Well, Doctor, you didn't exactly portray just friendship with Rose. You held hands, you were always together...and when I was there...there were times where you two would just...forget that I was even in the same room with you and you'd give each other these little looks that...that just yelled 'love'."

"Minerva, I will never finish apologizing for that time that you felt ignored, really...I am so sorry," he reached for my hand and took it into his. "And yes, I do admit there were times where I did consider Rose being...more than a friend...but something didn't feel right about that."

"Cos she's human?" I asked quietly, looking down as I thought about myself. What if he didn't want me solely because of that trait, that thing that made any fantasy about us being together for a lifetime impossible?

"Cos there was no actual spark."

"But you were attracted to her!"

"There's a difference between attraction and actual love. Yeah, alright, I was attracted to her in the beginning. I won't deny it. But...I don't know, there was just something that made it not happen."

"So...you never loved her?"

"No, I never loved her."

"Oh..." And I was smiling stupidly. Even if Rose wasn't here, it did make me feel somewhat better to learn that she had never gained his love. It was stupid, but...it made my heart skip just a littler faster to know that she had been wrong. The Doctor never loved her.

Of course then I remembered about Kaeya...

"But you still love Kaeya," I whispered, snatching my hand away from his as discreetly as possible.

"I..." he shook his head, "...let's talk about something else, yeah?"

"Why aren't you happy that she's coming back? I mean, she loves you, you love her, why aren't you happy?"

"Cos...cos, um..." He opened his mouth yet closed it as soon as he opened it. Instead, he just...stared at me. Normally, I'd be all giddy and smiley but this was another look he'd been doing all this week. While it did make me blush, I knew there was something more behind it. Something he didn't want to tell me...

"Cos what?" I asked, hoping that this time would be the lucky one that would give me all the answers I wanted.

"Have you ever felt like your head is just so...jumbled up?" He said instead. It was rather confusing how our conversation steered towards the new topic but I followed.

"Um...I suppose, with my family?" I shrugged, noticing how grim he had turned. "Why do you ask?"

"Cos that's what I've felt lately. Like, I think I know what I want, but..."

"There's doubt?"

"Maybe, I don't know," he sighed.

"What are you so jumbled about, then? A suit to wear?" I teased, getting a small laugh back.

"Ha, ha," he rolled his eyes, "I am being serious here."

"That doesn't sound like you, Martian," I smiled, "It must be serious, huh?"

"Very," he stared again for another minute or two.

I coughed, looking away as I blushed for his lingering looks, "What's it about? Kaeya?"

"Um...half."

"Half? What does that even mean?"

He just smiled sadly, "I'm just confused, that's all. But, enough about me, I don't want burden you with more things."

"Oh c'mon, I've told you my whole life story and you think you're burdening me with a small problem?"

"It's not small, it's really important," he sighed, "Consider it as something between life and death."

At that, I grew silent. I looked down to my hands and fiddled with my fingers as a recurrent thought ran through my mind, "Doctor...um...there's something that's been, uh, in my head for a couple of days now..."

"Did you remember something!?" He sounded alarmed for some reason, nearly jumping out of his seat.

"No," I looked up, a bit concerned. What did he looked so...jumpy about that?

"Oh...okay," he seemed to breathe a sigh of relief as he slumped back on his chair, "What's going on?"

"You told me that I risked my life in 1913, and I can't even remember what I did..." I sighed, "...and it's made me think, cos...what if whatever I was trying to do succeeded and I died?"

"Don't think of that, please," he shook his head.

"It really terrifies me that I can't remember being close to death...I was gonna die..."

"N-n-n-no, don't cry," he reached with a hand to wipe the tears that I hadn't even realized were going down my face.

"I'm sorry," I sniffled, half-smiling.

He didn't even say a word before he got on my bed, moving right beside me to give me a hug, "Okay, I know this is gonna make me sound so bad as a friend but...your life has been threatened a lot of times since you've met me. What's the difference now?"

I chuckled a little through my sniffles, "Because this time I can't remember it. What if I had died? I would've died in 1913, my family never knowing what happened to me...my grandmother..."

"But it didn't happen, it never will because I won't allow it," he moved his hand down to my waist and brought me closer to him, "Human or alien, I shall not."

"Yeah, thanks for whatever you did back there," I patted his hand, "But it's made me think, it's really had an impact on me. I don't want to die and leave my grandmother without the knowledge of my death. She doesn't deserve that."

"So what do you want to do about it?"

Silence.

"Minerva?"

I bit my lip and looked up at him, "I...I want to visit her..." I whispered.

He stiffened, silence falling for a mere minute before he became ecstatic, "Really!? You want to see her!?"

I nodded, "I don't want to die without seeing her again. I miss her so much, Doctor...I need to see her. Do you think I can go?"

"This must be a trick question, of course you can go!"

"So I can get out of bed now?"

"Yes, but no excess of movement," he warned letting go of me and standing up.

"We can go right now?" I barely breathed at the idea of seeing my sweet old grandmother again, "Yes?"

"C'mon!" he pulled me to my feet.

"I have to get changed," I ran to my mirror to get a good look at myself, "I have to fix my hair," I grabbed a piece of my hair, "Brush it, no! I've got to shower! And then brush it! And then find something acceptable to wear. No excessive heels, she hates it! She doesn't like brown either, but it's okay because I hate brown dresses! They make me look ugly!"

The Doctor just laughed, "Brown would look lovely on you and I'm sure your grandmother would agree."

"You don't know what you're saying, brown on me does not look good. But anyways, something serious here," I turned to him, my excitement all gone and replaced with seriousness, "Do you think my grandmother forgave me?"

"What?" he frowned and walked up to me, "What happened to the big smile on your face? Bring it back," he poked my cheek, making me chuckle for a moment.

"I'm serious. When I left, she was destroyed. She lost Olivia, and it wasn't too long ago that she lost my grandfather. Then I filed against my parents, against her daughter. I filed, despite knowing what it would do to her and when I won, I left her. She told me I could stay with her if I really wanted to leave my parents...but I ignored her and I left. I did that to her...I can't imagine she forgave me."

He set his hands on my shoulders, looking me straight in the eye, "Minerva, you are her granddaughter. The only one she has now. She doesn't have anything to forgive because she's not angry with you. She just wants to see you."

"But you can't be sure of that..."

"You're forgetting I had grandchildren of my own. I could never hate any of them, despite what they could've done. I loved them, and I always will. That's exactly how your grandmother feels about you."

"But is she proud of me? Would you be proud of them if they did everything I did?"

"I would always be proud of them," he smiled softly, "Just like she would always be proud of you."

"Thanks," I whispered, letting him hug me, "What would I do without you?"

"...your life would be a lot easier."

I pulled away, "And miserable," I walked for my closet, the thought of him never being in my life was just so unimaginable. I would never want to live in a world where he never met me. I couldn't.

"I'll call for Martha, then," the Doctor cleared his throat, walking for the door, "She can help you get ready."

"Yes because your sense of style is..." I looked him over, while I wanted to say how handsome he looked, I couldn't very well say that. Apart from my blushing, I would never hear the end of it from is smug lips. "...not so good."

"Says the girl in her nightie," his eyes looked me over with smirk.

"Shush," I hugged myself, "And get out."

"Oh go on then, I'll go call Martha to help you with your clothes. Take it easy, yeah?" I nodded and he pressed a kiss to my forehead, getting a blush from me.

"Yeah," I whispered, both of us smiling at each other in silence for couple seconds before he walked out.

I took a long sigh, knowing it wouldn't ever happen but still...I liked our closeness. Suddenly the idea of leaving the box of wonders and the Martian didn't seem so easy to do...

~0~

"Voila!" Martha clapped, forcing a little twirl out of me, "You know, maybe apart from being a doctor, I could have my own makeover show on the side."

I chuckled, "I'd be your number one fan." We both chuckled until I looked myself over. "Do you think she'll like it?"

"Mhm," Martha nodded.

"Thank you Martha," I hugged her.

"No problem," she pulled away, "I think you're grandmother is going to love it..." she stepped beside me, the usual innocent face she had before she made certain remarks. "...just like the Doctor will."

Ah, those remarks.

But actually, thinking on those two...something had changed. Martha was always telling me that I should tell the Doctor how I felt, but she had ceased to do that since last week. Instead, she focused on just turning his head. I thought it was extremely strange that she would stop altogether like that. But I also believed it was for the best; there was just no point in making a fool out of myself especially now that Kaeya was on her way back.

Martha had gotten right on the job as soon as the Doctor had told her I finally decided to see my grandmother. She had picked out an emerald-green, long-sleeve blouse that was tucked under a black skirt. I wore tights underneath with ankle-length black boots, my hair let down with only a black headband keeping it from my face.

"I really want to make a good impression on her," I sighed as I went for the door.

"Minerva, you're her granddaughter, impression kind of made already," Martha laughed as she followed.

I rolled my eyes, "I'm serious. When I left, I was just fourteen. I haven't seen her in three years, nearly four! I've grown, and I've...neglected her. I ignored her calls and when I did take them I hung up. Martha, I'm very, very, very nervous."

"I noticed," she moved besides me, "The world's noticed."

I bit my lip, "I just really hope she's forgiven me."

"She will, she will," Martha swung her arms around my shoulders and we walked off.

~0~

I stood in front of my grandmother's door and I'm pretty sure I've been stuck like this for a good fifteen minutes. The door was right there but my entire body was frozen in place. There were too many things running through my head and none of them were making me feel better about this. "You know what, I changed my mind," I turned around and moved to walk away.

"I don't think so," the Doctor blocked the way in time, almost looking like he had expected me to do something like this. "Knock."

Martha crossed her arms and nodded, "We're not going anywhere."

I sighed and turned back to the door, "But...what if she doesn't wanna see me...I just got up and left...I can't do this," I shook my head and turned around, determinedly making my way down the front steps of the porch.

They both grabbed my arms, actually lifting me up from the ground and pulled me back to the door. Martha knocked on the door while the Doctor took a tight hold of my arm.

"Martha! Don't do that!" I exclaimed, completely horrified.

"Too late," she smirked.

"But she might not wanna see me-"

"Would you shush it up already?" the Doctor snapped, "She is your grandmother and she definitely wants to see you. That guilt you have is nonsense."

"But-"

The door opened up suddenly, leaving me completely silent.

"Hm, so that's how you keep her quiet, then," the Doctor blinked, looking like he had the answer to the world. "Good to know."

I elbowed him in the ribs.

My sweet, old grandmother looked from the Doctor, Martha and I. She kept her eyes trained on me and when I met her gaze, I couldn't believe she was actually standing there. "...Minerva?"

The Martian let go of me and stepped back, Martha following seconds later.

I bit my lip, the tears stinging in my eyes. She didn't look so angry with me so that was a good sign. "Grandma?"

She hadn't changed a bit! Her short, grayish hair was neatly tucked in her short curls. Her piercing jade-green eyes remained youthful and colorful despite her actual age. She was a bit taller than I, but only by a few inches. Her skin was a bit wrinkled, but not as bad she always used to claim.

"It's you!" She exclaimed, opening her arms and coming up quite fast for a woman her age. She encased me in a big hug with such a tight grip. "It's you! It's you! My Minerva! Oh, it's you!"

Even though I was partially frozen for a few seconds, the sniffling still found a way out. "It is..."

"My granddaughter, my sweet little Minerva. It's you..."

My arms finally found their way around her for an equally tight hug. "Hi grandma," I whispered, resting my head on her shoulder, her sweet familiar caramel scent filling my nose.

"I can't believe you're back! Oh!" She laughed and pulled away, her hands on my arms as she looked me over, "Oh my Lord, you're so big! A proper, young woman. And ever so beautiful!"

"You're not the only one who thinks that," Martha muttered, a small grunt coming out of her seconds later. The Doctor had elbowed her. It seemed my little habit was contagious because now all of us did it to each other.

"You're so beautiful, Minerva!" And I got another hug from my grandmother. I would definitely keep accepting them!

"So are you," I mumbled. I had missed three years of seeing her and it was just now catching up to me.

But she just laughed, "Oh please, I got old!" she started wiping my tears off my face, "Now don't cry. Don't you ever get tired of that?"

"I ask her that all the time," the Doctor said, "Ow!"

Martha elbowed him.

"Oi, I was just agreeing," the Doctor mumbled.

"Well don't!"

My grandmother stared at them with amusement, "Are these your friends?" I nodded silently. She took my hand and walking us further through the porch, "Are you responsible for returning my granddaughter to me?"

"He's the designated driver," Martha pointed at the Doctor, "But I helped too."

Grandma just laughed, "Well thank you both! You have no idea how happy I am to see her back." She looked at me with a soft smile on her face, "So, so happy."

"Told you she'd be," the Doctor smirked.

"Martha," was all I said for her to elbow him.

"I'm gonna be quiet now," he murmured afterwards.

"That would be a first," I smirked.

"Hello there," Martha stepped up, holding her hand out for my grandmother, "I'm Martha Jones, Minerva's current best friend."

"Isadora Lozano," she shook Martha's hand, "And what happened to the other boy? The nice one, Mickey?" She glanced at me.

"Um...he's left for a trip..." I answered, sighing. That would be as much as I would be able to say about Mickey, unfortunately. "..a very long trip."

"Oh, good for him, then," she smiled and looked at the Doctor, "Hello, Isadora Lozano."

"Nice to meet you, I'm-"

"The Doctor," she flashed a grin, turning into a smirk at the surprise we all shared. "Ah, might be old but the memory is still on check."

"Have we met before?" the Doctor raised an eyebrow, studying her.

"Once," she nodded, "Seems like it hasn't happen it yet, huh?"

"How do you mean?" the Doctor smiled, easily confused yet suspicious. By the way she spoke one would think she knew of time traveling...

"Minerva, how old are you?" she asked, still looking at the Doctor.

"Seventeen." There was something going on in my grandmother's head but I probably wouldn't be able to figure that out right now.

"So it hasn't happened yet!" she snapped her fingers, "Right then, come on inside."

"Why does it sound like she knows of time travel?" Martha whispered as we followed.

"Because I think she just might," the Doctor breathed in.

I would've been more concerned but I was in my house, my real house. It hadn't even changed a bit. The living room was up first, two couches set up in the middle and two couch chairs on opposite sides with a table in the center and a television set up on the wall I walked over to a corner, seeing old toys of mine still laying there. Then the pictures of our family were still where I remembered them. Despite nothing really changing, it felt like a lot had. My grandfather's loss was still as fresh as ever and with all the pictures around that consisted of him...it wasn't helping. There were even pictures of Olivia and I...

Oh, things had definitely changed.

"You remember Stacey had a little sister, Tamara," Grandma said, seeing me pick up an old doll of mine, "She loves Lucy."

"Who's Stacey?" Martha asked.

"And Tamara?" added the Doctor.

I stood up with my doll in hand, turning to them, "Stacey was a childhood friend I used to play with all the time. And Lucy was, well," I waved the doll, "She was my favorite doll as a kid."

"Stacey has a little sister, she's about five," Grandma cut in, "She comes around because she claims Minerva's toys are the best."

"Well I did have good taste," I tucked a strand of my doll's hair. It was brunette just like mine. "She really likes Lucy?"

"Oh yes."

I walked back to them, setting Lucy on the couch, "Then I'll bring it over later. Do they still live in the same house?"

"Yes, two houses down, across the street. You know, Stacey left for college a couple months ago. Have you picked one out, yet?"

I made a face. That was certainly a topic I wouldn't have chosen to talk about right now. "Right...about that, I haven't graduated yet," I rubbed my neck.

"Why not? It's nearly October, you should've been done three months ago."

"I've gotten a bit distracted but I promise I am working."

"Let's just say Minerva's focus has shifted a bit in the last couple of months," Martha smirked.

"Martha, come over a sec?"

She stepped back, covering her stomach, "No you're gonna elbow me."

I mock-glared at her for a minute before returning to my grandmother, "I promise I'm still working. It'll just take a bit longer."

"I trust you," she pointed a warning finger at me, "But let's not talk about school, I wanna know what you've been up to. What have you done lately? Are you okay? You're healthy right? You've been sleeping well? Where've you gone lately?"

I chuckled at her curiosity, it was as big as mine, "I'll tel you, don't worry."

"Uh, Minerva, if you want, we can leave for some time," Martha offered, the Doctor nodding in agreement, "We can take a look at the city, San Diego was always a place on my bucket list."

"I don't know..." I did want to speak to my grandmother alone but I felt guilty for leaving my two friends alone in a place they've never been to. Well, the Doctor could handle himself...actually scratch that, Martha could handle herself.

"Oh go on," the Doctor grinned, "I'm sure Martha and I have lots to see in this place. Never been around here, mind you..."

"Please don't go ruining things," I pleaded, half joking yet another half dead serious, "This place isn't like the city, city. It's a small suburb. There are children in the streets, playing...don't start a riot."

"Minerva, you say such things," my grandmother chuckled.

"Oh grandma..." I smiled at her, discreetly showing the Doctor I was dead serious of my warning.

"We'll be out then," Martha walked around the couch, hugging me as I stood up, "Good luck," she whispered with an encouraging nod.

The Doctor came over next, giving me a hug as well, "You deserve it, Clever Girl."

"I still feel guilty," I whispered as we parted.

"All nonsense," he pressed a kiss to my forehead then looked past me to my grandmother, "Mrs. Lozano, you have a very stubborn granddaughter."

I glanced back at her, not even gonna argue on that one just because it was her. If it had been the Doctor all on his own I would've elbowed him already. But not my grandmother, she was just...she was here...I was here. We were here together.

"Sophia's stubbornness," she added, "Lord knows that's how she and her brother got into arguments."

"That's how these two get into arguments," Martha informed of the Doctor and I.

"Oi," we shot her a look.

"And we're off," Martha raised her hands in surrender and walked for the door.

"Don't be a danger," I warned the Doctor, gripping his hands so he wouldn't run off and then claim I never said such thing, "I'm serious."

"I will behave," he pulled for his freedom.

"Yeah?"

He sighed and put on a grin, "Yeah."

"I'm holding you to that," I gave him a warning look, "I'm serious."

"Yeah, yeah, okay, we'll be back later," he chuckled.

I cracked a smile, his laugh just contagious to me, "Alright," and I let go.

I watched them go until the door was shut. I took a deep breath and turned to face my grandmother who wore a smile, which if really focused enough looked more like a smirk, "Grandma?"

"Anything you want to tell me?"

"Hm?"

She raised an eyebrow, it was the same look she gave me as a child when I wouldn't do my chores.

"It's nothing, grandma," I looked around with discomfort. I fixed my skirt in an attempt to distract myself.

"Minerva, you may be almost grown up but I can still tell when you're lying," she took my hand and sat us down, "C'mon dear, it's been nearly four years since we've talked and now that I finally have you in front of me, I see that you're smitten!"

"Oh no..." I looked away from her, this was definitely not what I wanted to talk about with her as our first topic.

"Don't be embarrassed dear, you're forgetting I was married once. I also loved someone."

"I don't lo..." I paused when I really focused on that subject. Last time I remembered, I knew for a fact that what I felt for the Doctor was not love. It was just the first stage, a simple crush. Simple affection. But now that I think of it, as of now, I can't really say that anymore. I felt like, somehow, I was getting closer to being in love. It was like my heart had taken in a fresh new layer of feelings, but why? Why would I suddenly feel like that?

"Hmm?" My grandmother's smirk had turned into a playful, teasing smile, "What better way to start catching up then by explaining to me what's going on in your heart?"

I bit my lip, debating whether this was really appropriate. I mean, this was my grandmother! I'm supposed to talk about cookies and teach her modern phrases...not...not talk about men.

"Minerva? I'm waiting," she gave me a sharp look, "I'll understand you sweetie, if that's what you're worried about. I may not be your mother but we understand each other perfectly, so speak."

"Grandma, I...I never felt like this before. He's just so..." I sighed, smiling softly, my grandmother chuckling, "...unbelievable, to put it at best. He's impossible. Unlike anything and anyone you've ever met."

"Oh and he's got you locked in, doesn't he?" her laughter continued.

"Yeah," I answered quietly, blushing as I pushed a strand of my hair behind my ear, "It's that obvious, huh?"

"Just a bit, dear," she patted my hand, "You're very smart, I know you are, but it is quite easy to see."

"Yeah, well, it's easy to see except for him. I'm just a friend," I shrugged.

"And that breaks your heart, doesn't it?" she rested a hand on my arm, sighing when I nodded, "You want to hear a story about your grandfather and I?"

"What's it about?"

"How we met!"

"How does it go?" I scooted closer, curiosity bursting out of me.

"Well, we were just friends. Your grandfather always said that what he liked about me was that I always pushed to learn and do things, not stick to the housewife stereotypes. Most women were preparing for marriage and I...I wouldn't have that," she chuckled lightly, "That's the reason he started talking to me, you know. He said I was like none other, completely different!"

I smiled, "That's what I'd like for the Doctor to see. I'm not like any other human. I'm not Rose, I'm not Martha, I'm me. I'm different."

What I really meant to say what that I was different from all human females. I wanted the Doctor to see that I could keep up with him most of the time whereas Martha or Rose usually couldn't. I wasn't trying to seem better than them because they were good in their own ways, but I just wanted him to see I was different. But nothing could compare to Rose or Kaeya...

"Rose, that was, um, your best friend's girlfriend, right? What was his name, Mickey!" she snapped her fingers, "Yeah! And it was Rose Tyler, daughter of Jackie Tyler."

"Yeah, that's them," I sighed.

"What's happened to them, dear? I usually tried Mickey's number but now it says it doesn't exist."

"They're gone, grandma. They're happy, but they're gone." Well, I mean, Rose wasn't happy...

"And back to the point, you are most definitely not any of them. You're Minerva Joycelin Souza Lozano, the most intelligent, not to mention gorgeous, granddaughter I have."

I smiled warmly, "Grandma, I'm your only grandchild...now..."

"And you expect me to believe you're the opposite? No!"

"It's just...it's hurtful. Cos, he gives me hope, you know, like there's a chance that he could like me back, like, today...he told me he didn't love Rose. I always thought he did love her...I was so sure he loved her and today he tells me he doesn't, that he never did cos something didn't seem right. It would give me hope that one day he could look at me and see someone he could like more than a friend...but then there's Kaeya...the woman he loves for sure. That hurt cos that princess, yes she's a princess," I explained when she gave me that look, "She's so amazing, she did things that I could never do. Even Rose was good. And me...well...let's be honest I won't ever measure up to either of them so I'll never be good enough to earn his feelings, and it breaks my heart, grandma. It just...shatters it to pieces..."

"Oh no, don't cry," she took me into her arms like she did when I was a kid, giving me a sweet hug, "I don't like seeing you cry. I spent years looking for you and all I wanna see is your big, happy smile."

"Did grandpa ever break your heart?" I looked up at her, "Before getting married?"

"No, I was lucky I suppose," she smiled softly, "I was always happy with him."

"It sounds nice," the absence of my grandfather began arising as well. How could it not? I was in his house, with his wife, on a couch we always sat on for games, television and eating.

"I don't like hearing you talk like that, though. You are amazing!"

"Everyone says that but I think it's more to keep me quiet."

"But you are," she pulled away, "And I know he sees that too."

"How? You just met him," I wiped my tears from my face.

She chuckled, "Just trust me. I know the looks and believe me, your grandfather used to give them to me," she sighed with content, "And the Doctor does seem to have the same looks for you."

"Really?" I asked, the little gleam of hope inside rising at her words.

"You just trust your grandmother, alright?" she kissed the top of my head, "I know what I've seen and I've seen a lot."

"Grandma, do you...do you know the Doctor?"

"Mmm?"

"Grandma," I gave her a sharp look, "When Martha's mother met him, she made a whole fuss about what his name was and what he was doing with us, but you...you haven't asked the usual questions."

"I can't tell you, not yet," she patted my head, "But anyways, why don't you tell me what you've done lately, huh? Tell me about you. What have you been doing?"

"Um...just, travelling,' I shrugged, "We went to New York..." In the past. "...to, um, a replication of a guinguette, uh, to China-"

"To China?" She blinked incredulously before laughing, "What were you doing in China?"

"Um...the Doctor surprised me with the festival of Lanterns..."

"Ooh, 'surprised' you?" she raised an eyebrow, a hint of smirk growing on her face.

I blushed and looked away, thinking of what exactly happened during the festival. Looking back at it, I had no idea where I garnered such courage...

"Minerva?" My grandmother nudged me.

"Huh?" I snapped my head back to her, blinking rapidly as I remembered where I was.

"Anything interesting happen there?"

"Um, we had a riddle contest," I shrugged, deciding to leave out who with, "And I won."

"Oh, good," she chuckled, "Smart one, you are. Where else did you go?"

"Just...to so many places, grandma," I sighed with content, "It's all amazing out there."

"You just love to travel don't you?"

I nodded, "One could say it's my life."

"That's what Aaron says," she shook her head, "Somehow I think you're more level-headed than he is."

"How is Uncle Aaron?"

The Doctor had promised to find my uncle for me, but for some reason it was being a bit more difficult. Apart from all the distractions our travels caused, it seemed like Uncle Aaron was a bit hidden. And it did disappoint me because apart from my grandmother, he was the only one I wanted to see again.

"Last time I heard he was in Brazil," my grandmother paused and got to thinking, "No, wait, that was two weeks ago. I think he's in Switzerland...no..."

I chuckled, "He's everywhere!"

"That he is," she looked at me, "You and him are so alike in personalities it's no wonder Sophia had arguments with you."

I looked down, fiddling with my fingers, "...yeah. It seemed like I always disappointed her."

She set a hand on my arm, offering a smile of comfort, "Not to me you weren't. And never to her."

I sighed, wishing that could be true. Deep down, all I wanted was for my mother to forgive me.

~0~

My grandmother and I sat at the kitchen table with a plate of sliced apples in front of us. I declined her lunch offers so many times that she gave up trying to cook something and settled for a simple snack.

"Minerva, why didn't you want to take my calls? Did I do something wrong?" She asked once we were sitting together at the table. I knew it was the burning question she'd been keeping hold of ever since she opened the door to find me on the other side. The way she looked made me feel so incredibly guilty. Here was this sweet, old woman who had done nothing but care for a child that wasn't even hers and how do I repay her? By making her feel like she did something wrong.

"Grandma, when I left home, things were ugly," I began, swallowing hard, not wanting any memories to resurface through my head but that was just impossible. "I just wanted to forget everything for a while. And Uncle Aaron helped me. But when we separated, I started getting phone calls from my mother, well more since uncle Aaron and I were together. The times I did pick up she did nothing but remind me of what I had done to Olivia and her...so when you called, I thought it'd be the same. Cos all mom wants me to do is come back home so she can keep an eye on me like I'm some child with disastrous tantrums that harm people."

"You know very well my opinions over Olivia's death. It was not your fault, sweetie. And truthfully, that is something I shall never forgive Sophia for. She forgot what being a mother was. But you sweetie, you," she put a hand under my chin, lifting my gaze to hers to see her warm smile, "You are innocent. And understand that I will never fault you for Olivia's death."

"I'm sorry," I said before I started sniffling, "I thought about you all the time though. The Christmas I spent with the Tylers, Jackie Tyler made this delicious Christmas dinner, though with turkey..." We both made a face at the food, which she broke with a laughter, causing me to do the same. "...still don't understand that British custom. But anyways, all I could think of were your snicker-doodles. Those sweet, warm cookies you used to make for me and grandpa every year. This past Christmas, actually," I chuckled at the memory, wiping my face of tears, "The Doctor went out and brought some snicker-doodle mix which we attempted to bake."

"And how'd it go?"

"Well, he's not...very good with baking," I remembered the kitchen being splattered with half the mix, shortening our cookie production in half but still actually filling, though I bet the TARDIS wasn't too happy to have her kitchen covered with cookie mix, "So we had about half the cookie mix as cookies. But even baked by my hands, they don't taste the same. Yours were just delicious...I bet they still are."

"Well if you stick around I'll bake some for you," she pointed, "In fact, stop by your birthday and I may have a batch for you done."

"My birthday?" I blinked, forgetting all about that day seeing as it was not important.

"Your 18th birthday! How can you forget?"

"Grandma, I'm already a legal adult. My birthdays have kind already lost significance to me," I shrugged.

It was true. Most teens looked forwards to the big 1-8, but me? I'm already an adult to the law so there was no specialty behind the date. It was just October 31st, another day.

"There is something you have to understand, Minerva. You are my granddaughter, you can be 50 and I'll still see you as the little girl who wanted to play dollies with her grandfather," I chuckled at all the times I had forced my poor grandfather to play with me and my massive mounts of dolls, my grandmother even joining in with a laugh, "I'll always see the little girl I tucked in nearly every night. And so, your birthdays are always going to be special."

"Oh grandma," I shook my head, I had the best grandmother!

"Don't 'oh grandma me', when you have your kids and grandchildren you'll see what I'm talking about."

"Oh dear Lord, let's not talk about that," I tool a slice of apple into my hand.

The thought of being a "mother" actually scared me. My mother wasn't the best and so for me to actually consider becoming a mother to a baby didn't seem like a very good idea. I didn't really have my mother growing up so I didn't know the do's and dont's of motherhood. I could get it all wrong like my mother did and I would never forgive myself for making my own child suffer. I never wanted to do that to anyone, much less someone that came out of me. The best way to prevent that would be not to be a mother.

"Speaking of mothers..." my grandmother slowly eyed me.

I sighed, placing down my piece of fruit, "Grandma, she doesn't want to see me."

"No, no, I've talked to Sophia, she says she does want you home."

"Yeah, to order me around like I'm still some five year old. Besides, she wants to keep me locked up because according to her I only hurt people and she will not allow it."

"She said that?" she frowned, the disappointment flourishing in her eyes.

My grandmother saw all the faults of my mother, and she sided with me in this whole Olivia fiasco, but the fact still remained...Sophia was her daughter. And despite saying she'd never forgive my mother, she would always try to make peace between my mother and I because this was her daughter we were talking about.

"Let's face it, my mother doesn't love me. And she'll never forgive me," I leaned back on my chair, "Ever."

"Sophia does love you," she tried to come with a good comeback but I stopped it with a scoff, "In her own way..."

"She had fourteen years to show it and she failed. I love her, I do. She's my mother, I can't possibly hate her...but I won't pretend. She's made me angry, sad, guilty, everything...she doesn't want me home and quite frankly I don't want to step foot on that house."

"And your father? You know, truthfully, Nick hasn't been the same since you left the house. He used to be energetic, focused, even jokeful...but he's different now. He barely talks to anyone anymore, barely makes a noise. I think he misses you a lot."

"But he's never called me...why?"

"Maybe he was afraid? I don't know, but maybe you should go visit him now that you're back. I bet that'll put a smile on him..." she got thinking, "...hm, haven't actually seen one in years."

I would like to visit my father, but I was afraid of what he'd say to me. Unlike my mother where she completely lost it and outlashed everything on me, he sort of just...shut down. Honestly, he wasn't the best father to me either but the day we lost Olivia was the day I completely lost him too. He stopped talking to me, nearly everyone, he just let my mom take over and speak for everything.

I wouldn't visit my mother because she would yell at me. I wouldn't visit my father because...I was simply afraid of what his words could be.

~0~

"Growing up here wasn't that bad," I remarked to the Doctor and Martha as we walked down the street, me holding my doll Lucy in my arm.

The pair had returned with a couple arguments, Martha claiming the Martian had nearly gotten them thrown out of three city shops for ridiculous reasons. She claimed it was the last time she went shopping with him. In an attempt to calm both parties down, I offered to show them around the neighborhood I had spent most of my life in and my grandmother promising to have some type of dinner started for us. She was so sweet!

So I brought the pair along with me to give my doll to Stacey's little sister. The neighborhood seemed to change in its different occupants and the size of the children. However, it still remained a quiet, calm, suburb neighborhood. Children were playing outside on the front yards, some parents outside watching them. I did recognize a few of the families from my childhood days and some of the children that were a bit older now. But everything was calm, everything was just...lovely. It made me realize how much I missed it all.

Back in my parent's house, which was right smack in the city, everything in the house was either too quiet or loud. On the quiet days, both my parents would be working, at times Liv would be free to play with me, but usually it was just me and my toys...alone. When it was loud, it was either because my mother was yelling at me for something or just yelling at the employees. With my grandparent's house, it was always wonderful! There were laughter, there was baking, there was children besides me. I always had one of my friends over, usually Stacey to play with. There was never anything wrong...

"The neighborhood was always fantastic," I sighed with content, "Still is apparently. All the apple trees are still in place, " I chuckled suddenly, remembering one dang tree that I had a grudge from a kid, "There's one apple tree in the backyard of my grandparent's that I could never reach as a child, even when I was fourteen. It has the biggest and most delicious apples and I couldn't reach them. But," I started smirking, "Now that I'm seventeen, I'll probably be able to get them with no problem."

"Something that's changed?" the Doctor raised an eyebrow.

'Oh yes! But a good thing," I nodded.

"I'd like to raise my kids in a spot like this," Martha remarked, arms crossed as she studied around, "Barely any cars pass by, which is odd because we're in San Diego!"

"My grandparents like the peace," I shrugged, "They said this way they get to stay near their daughter and granddaughters, yet still live in a comfortable place," I turned on Stacey's front yard, opening the small gate and walking in, the pair behind me, "Gosh, I haven't seen nor talked to Stacey in four years!"

"Now would be the time to make it up," the Doctor suggested.

"Maybe," I shrugged, knocking on the door.

A couple seconds later, a bright ginger opened the door: Stacey's mother, Eliza, "Minerva? Minerva Souza? Is that you?" Her blue eyes blinked in shock.

"Hi Mrs. Donovan," I waved shyly.

"When did you get back?" she stepped out into the porch and hugged me.

"About a couple hours ago."

"Well it's very nice to see you again! Oh I'm sure Stacey would love this!"

"I'd love to see Stacey when she makes a trip back," I admitted.

"I'll be sure to let her know!"

I smiled, "...but for today, actually, I came because I heard a certain little girl had some attachment to one of my dolls," I waved my doll at her.

"Oh, I see," Mrs. Donovan nodded, stepping back inside and calling out for the little girl, "Tamara!"

"Coming, Mom!" a soft little voice called, a five year old brunette running up to the doorway a second later, "Hey, it's Lucy!" she pointed at my doll.

"This is Minerva, dear, you don't remember her," Mrs. Donovan shook her head, "She was only one at the time. Tamara, this is the owner of Lucy, Minerva."

"Hi Tamara," I waved, "You like my doll?"

She nodded, her eyes wandering to Martha and the Doctor behind me, "Mom..." she sheepishly moved behind her mother's legs.

"Oh, sorry," I had forgot about those two for a moment, oops, "Mrs. Donovan, Tamara, these are my friends. Perfectly safe and perfectly kind," I looked at Tamara who was peeking around her mother.

"Hello," she said quietly.

"Hi!" the pair grinned, waving at her.

"Tamara, I heard you liked my doll," I stepped up, bending down to her level, "And I was thinking, since I'm nearly eighteen, I don't really need my dolls anymore."

"You don't?"

"Nah, I want clothes! Well..." I glanced back at Martha and the Doctor, "...I want to travel, actually."

"So...Lucy..." Tamara stepped around her mother, her hands behind her back, her eyes glued to my doll.

"...can be yours if you like?" I wiggled an eyebrow, making her laugh and nod, "Well then, here you go." I held my doll to her.

She took it and grinned, "Thank you!" she threw her arms around me, "I'll take good care of her, you'll see! I'll brush her hair, I'll give her food, I'll put pretty clothes on!"

"I know you'll take good care of her," I chuckled, pulling away and standing up, fixing my skirt, "Well, that's pretty much it. If Stacey happens to call..."

Mrs. Donovan nodded, "I'll tell her, don't worry."

"Thank you," I turned around, walking away with my two friends, "That felt nice."

"She was adorable," Martha remarked.

"She was just one when I left. She could barely walk...talk..." I sighed, "Makes me realize how long I've been away."

"But you'll be back from now on," the Doctor reminded, "Anytime you wanna visit, just tell us."

"I think I just might," I nodded, never wanting to let my grandmother's hugs slip away from me again. Never again.

~0~

"So how's that apple thing going?" the Doctor called while I desperately hopped to reach for an apple off my grandparent's apple tree in the backyard.

I stopped hopping for a second to glance over and see him leaning against the doorway of the kitchen's back door, "Do not laugh," I pointed before continuing to hop, "You know, I'm seventeen, nearly eighteen," hop, "So why can't," hop, "I get," hop, "A damn," hop, "APPLE!" I waved my hand frantically, one of my nails just barely grazing one apple, "It's been four years!" I rounded the stupid tree, "I'm suppose to grow."

"You did," he walked towards me.

"Clearly not enough," I huffed, crossing my arms and looking up at the apples above me, "My grandfather used to get them for me and I thought now that time has passed I should get them on my own..."

You could tell he was biting back a teasing laughter, "So..."

"Shut up," I let my arms drop to my sides, "I'm getting an apple if it's the last thing I do!" I turned around and began my jumping, "Just," hop, "One," hop, "Apple," hop, "Plea-AH!" I nearly yelled when the Doctor's arms went around my waist, lifting me up, "What the hell!?" I looked back at him.

"Just hurry up, will you?" he grunted, "Those brownies and pasta sure are making you he-"

"Finish that sentence and you die right now," I warned with a deadly look.

"They've sure made you lovely," he finished with a big grin.

"Nice save," I reached for an apple, finally getting one, "Hey! I did it!"

"Um, I'm the one that's technically reaching for it since I'm lifting you so really, I did it," I didn't even have to look down to see he was smirking.

So instead...

"Ow!"

I made an apple fall on his head.

"You did that on purpose!" he cried.

"Whatever do you mean, Martian?" I reached for more apples, having about six of them when the Doctor finally set me down. I bent down and picked up the apple that had mysteriously fallen on his head, "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he rubbed the top of his head, "Those apples are gigantic!"

"And delicious," I bit into one, turning to side so he could grab one from the pile I held.

"You know, Isadora says dinner will be ready soon. She says she's making your favorite by the way," he munched on his apple, "We should go inside."

I wagged a finger and moved around him, looking around for a place to set the rest of the apples, "I want to watch the sky for a moment."

"The sky? What for? There's barely any visible stars right now," he looked up to the dark sky, very correct with the amount of stars we could see.

It was night and while there were stars, they didn't compare to being in the TARDIS and actually see them in their true form. But I had a different reason for wanting to watch the sky tonight.

"I really want to stay here for a moment," I spun around, hoping to see something, even a bucket, for the apples, "It's really important, Martian."

He sighed and shook his coat off, placing it on the grass, gesturing for me to place the apples on it. I nodded my thanks and dropped to my knees, placing the apples in a neat pile.

"What's so important about these small number of stars, hm?" he took a seat on his coat, using his arms behind him to support him.

I sat beside him, my legs pulled to my chest, my arms draped over my knees, my head looking up with a sad smile, "My grandfather and I used to watch the sky at this hour, on this spot, with a pile of apples beside us...it's been a long time..."

"You okay?" he glanced at me.

"Yeah, I just figured if I visited my grandmother, I could do this for him. It sort of became a tradition, you know. My grandmother and I would bake minty-fresh brownies and snicker-doodles. My grandfather and I would gather apples and watch the stars, little as they were, but we were always here. It's funny how things change," I sighed, resting my chin on my arms, "Once upon a time a grandfather and his granddaughter watched the sky and now...now the granddaughter watches alone."

"And he watches you from above."

"You think so?" I blinked away some tears before I looked at him.

"Yeah," he nodded, "And, if you want, perhaps I could watch the stars with you?"

"I'd like that," I nodded, knowing it would never be the same with my grandfather and I, but perhaps this could be a new tradition, and it still made me feel all warm and happy.

"Every time we come back, we'll watch them whenever you want. How's that sound?"

"It sounds really nice," I mumbled.

He grinned and laid on his back, tilting his head as he studied the sky, "Well, if you focus really hard, you can see the constellation of Aquarius."

"Seriously?"

"Oh yeah, it's right there," he pointed up, like it would actually make a difference.

"Where? I can't see it!"

"C'mon," he moved a little to the side and patted the ground. Reluctantly, I laid down beside him, my heart beginning to pick up on its beats by our closeness, "It's right here," he pointed again.

"Doctor, I can't see anything," I frowned.

"Dear God you need glasses!"

"Says the man who only wears his to look cool."

"Which I do," he pointed, making me roll my eyes, "But it's right there," he picked up my hand and pointed it up to the damn constellation, "Look!" I would look, if I could stop focusing on his hand over mine, "Can you see it?"

"Sure..."

Not really.

"I suppose it's a bit hard to see with all these lights," he frowned, lowering our hands, yet still holding onto it.

"It doesn't compare to the desert," I sighed, remembering that fateful desert, "The one where I saw a man with your box of wonders."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, remember I told you about it?"

"In fairness, I was a bit distracted."

"Yeah, fixing a part of the console that wasn't broken, Honestly, I don't know why she hasn't locked you out already," I shook my head, "But anyways, it was the same box of wonders, at least that's what it looked like with all the smoke coming out of it. Then there was that man, which I'm pretty sure was you from the future. I'm just sad I couldn't get a real look, but Doctor: bow-ties. That's what I saw."

He made a face that showed his horror, his free hand going to his tie, "You liar."

I chuckled, "I swear I'm not. That's probably the only thing I saw with a good eye. I was more focused on your words...you were talking about me."

"I was?"

I nodded, "Mhm. You said you had to get back to Minerva. Doctor, we're still traveling together even after your regeneration."

"Well of course we are, were you planning on leaving me anytime soon?"

"...no."

I hadn't exactly mentioned to him nor Martha what my plans were for when Kaeya returned. And now that I thought about it, if the next Doctor and I traveled together, it meant things worked out...and if things worked out, then the whole Kaeya mess worked out and I wouldn't have to leave. Good...cos I really didn't. I really wished everything would work out in a way that I could perhaps...stick around?

"Good," I looked up at the sky with a big smile, for some reason feeling a big amount of hope, "One regeneration later and we're still together..." I blinked, realizing how that may have sounded and quickly spoke to fix it, "...no, wait! Not us as in together 'us' but as in...well..." I glanced at him, hoping I wasn't making this all too ridiculous, "...why are you looking at me like that?" he was just staring at me with a soft smile.

"What?"

"That look," I pointed, "You've been giving me that look for the last couple of days. It's like you're remembering something, or..." I shrugged, severely confused.

It was true. Since the fiasco with the Family, he and Martha had taken turns to take care of me and in all the times the Doctor was with me, he'd give me that same look. Sometimes I was just saying things and all of a sudden it was like I had said something grand or hypnotizing because I received that soft look with that soft smile that made my heart skip a beat or two and it was driving me mad because I didn't know why he was doing it!

"It's nothing..." he said quietly, his smile barely starting to fade.

"You're so weird," I rolled my eyes and looked up to the sky again, ignoring my blush with great struggle, "You're lucky I can tolerate it."

"Oh ha ha."

"No, I'm serious, what are you gonna do when Kaeya shows up and turns out she doesn't like your weirdness?"

Silence.

I glanced at him, concerned I had hit a topic that was off limits. I noticed there was a change when I spoke about Kaeya lately. Apart from barely showing actual happiness that the princess was alive, he almost seemed...angry. But what could he be angry for? That she survived? If not that, then...what could make him mad at a woman who supposedly was innocent and noble? Last time I remembered he couldn't stop rambling on about her and now he barely wanted to even touch the topic.

"If she doesn't then oh well," was all he had to say.

"Doctor, what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Because I'm gonna believe that?" I took my hand out of his and became firm, wanting to know what had changed in the past two months with the Family.

"Alright, you wanna know what happened?"

"Yeah!"

"I came to the conclusion that no matter how much you care for someone, they are not allowed to hurt any of their friends," he turned to the side, facing me completely, "She hurt someone and I'm sort of in the process of debating whether or not to forgive her."

"Who did she hurt?" My voice became a low whisper as I turned as well, leaving us face to face.

"Someone important. No matter my feelings for her, I don't allow that. Period."

"What's gonna happen when she returns?"

"I...don't know," he sighed, "I honestly don't know."

"Well, a word of advice, if you love her, if you really love her, then it should be easy to forgive her because essentially you'll just want to be with her and be happy."

"It should be easy..." he mumbled to himself, pondering for a moment.

"Oi! You two?" Martha called, "Quit your little moment and get inside! Dinner is done and I can smell mint browniiies!" She sung the last word and hurried on inside.

I sat up, heaving a heavy sigh. "Just a thought, Doctor," I stood up, and picked up the apples, "Love is supposed to make you happy, not all depressive and thinky and stuff, otherwise it's just not love." I shook my head, did I just say...thinky? Oh that Martian was really rubbing off me!

"I'll think about it," he assured, "Really..."

"Well in the meantime, thank you for watching the sky with me," I looked up, "I know he's up there, though watching us now. Things change..." I shook my head and headed for the house.

"But sometimes change is good, isn't it?" He followed behind.

"Sometimes," I whispered, thinking of how my feelings had changed for him. Though I couldn't tell if it had been a wonderful thing or a curse because my chances were so slim.

~0~

"Do you like it?" My grandmother continuously asked as I took a visit of my old, well not so old as it had been refurnished after my departure, room.

"Grandma, it's so pretty!" I gawked, spinning around.

"I had it done in case you came back...fit for a proper young woman," she turned to me.

"Oh grandma, thank you," I walked up and hugged her, hugged her really tight because she was just so grand, "Thank you so much for caring this much for a granddaughter who doesn't deserve it."

"Don't say that," she mumbled, resting her head over mine, "You are my granddaughter, I am your grandmother, I will always care for you."

"Thank you," I pulled away.

"Wooow," Martha's voice made me turn around, seeing her and the Doctor stepping inside the bedroom, "Mrs. Lozano, can I be your granddaughter?"

"Oi! She's mine!" I stepped in front of my grandmother, "Get your own!"

Martha raised her hands in surrender, "Noted."

"Minerva, don't be so rude," my grandmother scolded, "If you keep that attitude up, you won't get any brownies to take with you."

"I'm sorry," I quickly said, the brownies had to come with me.

She chuckled and headed for the doorway, "Speaking of, I better go check on them. Will you three be alright?"

"It's okay, Mrs. Lozano, I'll take care of the pair," Martha smirked at us.

Then the Doctor elbowed her.

My grandmother just laughed and went on her way.

"She is my grandmother and you will not make those types of comments around her," I pointed.

"Yeah, yeah, I really like your room," she walked further inside.

"Very...intellectual," the Doctor remarked.

"It used to be a room for a kid," I looked around, sighing, "It's changed alright."

Instead of my small, twin bed, there now stood a queen size bed, a blue cover with white roses sprawled around. There were two nightstands beside the bed, one of them with a lamp and the other a clock. Across from the bed there was a large, white chest of drawers with an oval shaped mirror in on top of it. To its right, at a corner was my closet. To the far left, there was a bathroom which had its door closed. Beside it was the chest drawers and a medium-sized vanity desk. And beside the bed, to its left, was a bookshelf, all its shelves filled with books.

"There used to be toys over there," I pointed at a random corner, "Oh! My dollhouse over there," I pointed to another corner, "And then my dolls over here," point again, "Then my costumes over here! Oh! And my bed always had stuffed animals."

"You were the complete five year old princess, weren't you?" Martha narrowed her eyes playfully.

"Maaaaybe..." I smiled innocently.

"That's why she's sassy," the Doctor mumbled to her, "She got everything she wanted..."

"Don't insult me, Martian," I warned, moving up to him, "I wasn't spoiled by my grandparents."

"Parents?"

"They were never there so the least they did was get me all the toys I wanted."

"Wasn't enough, was it?" Martha asked softly, understanding it wasn't so glorifying to have all the toys I wanted.

"Never," I sighed and walked away, stopping at my bookshelf, "Sometimes, when Olivia wasn't home or she just didn't want to be with me, I would play with this amazing doll house...and I'd be all happy, rambling on with my dolls...until I looked around and saw I was alone. Then I stopped playing, cos I thought, what's the point? What's the point of this amazing doll house if I have to play by myself?"

"But you know that's not gonna happen anymore, right?" the Doctor walked over, gently turning me around, "You've got us now."

"You won't forget about me even when Kaeya comes back?" I whispered, terrorized by the appearance of the princess that could literally happen at any moment. Even if I did decide to leave, I didn't want him to completely forget about me. I still would expect some kind of visit from him, even a call?

He looked at me for a good minute, making me nervous that he had to actually think about it, "Never," he whispered, "Absolutely never."

I smiled with relief and went to hug him, resting my head on his chest and feeling his arms wrap around me. A couple seconds later, Martha joined us and together we hugged.

Things could change alright, but I would always remember when it was just the Martian, my doctor best friend, and me.

[wronqness99]

Sweet Heart

> About my writing

Genre: Fluff, Angst

Warnings: Mentions of suicide/suicidal behaviour and depression

Word Count: 2.5K+

Characters: St. Van/Lee GeumHyuk (VAV) X Female Reader

Inspired by VAV’s song Sweet Heart (composed by our wonderful ACE)

*The image doesn’t belong to me, credits to the owner.*

Y/N had met GeumHyuk during what she considered to be the worst time of her life.

He had felt an instant connection with the girl from the very first time he saw her at the psychiatric ward of the hospital he worked at. Every time she went in for an appointment, the man made sure to take a break just so they could talk and get to know one another for a while.

During those moments, Y/N and Geumhyuk had been able to develop a friendship. He had gotten to know her favourite colour was orange, that she loved nature, reason why she often went on hikes and that listening to music was her way of disconnecting from the world, allowing her to create a safe place within her own mind even if just for a short period of time. Geumhyuk had even had the pleasure of meeting her younger brother, Park Heejun, whom he found to be such a nice and caring kid, always worrying and taking care of his noona, sometimes even going to the extent of scheduling appointments of his own just so he could talk to his sister's doctor in order to better understand her condition and learn what he could do to help her health get back on track.

The younger boy was well aware of GeumHyuk's feelings for his noona and he could definitely tell she had become significantly happier prior to meeting the receptionist. Heejun had developed some kind of hope that the man would be the one to exorcise the demons from his sister's pretty brain. He had hopes that he'd be the one to save her.

Y/N started scheduling her appointments according to Geumhyuk's shifts, that way they were able to go on dates, whether that involved going to the cinema and eating together or simply walking home together. The red headed male always insisted on walking Y/N home first and then taking the bus to his own home. He liked to make sure she got home safe and sound.

On one of those days, while walking to a pizzeria close to the hospital, Y/N had acquired the courage to hold his hand for the first time. Geumhyuk was taken aback for a moment after their skins came into contact, a big smile breaking through his plump lips as he registered what had just happened. The man leaned over and placed one of his hands on her cheek, pulling her closer and pressing his lips to her temple. Y/N looked at him, their eyes meeting as a dreamy smile took over their expressions.

They ate their pizza over a good conversation, a dosage of heartfelt laughs and a wave of positive energies that filled the whole room. After dinner, they headed to a local store and bought some chocolate ice cream, heading over to the man's place for a movie night filled with snacks and sweets, something GeumHyuk would generally oppose to, but decided to make an exception for her.

After they had set everything on the small table of his living room, they finally sat down on the couch next to one another, ready to watch her favourite movie, "The Corpse Bride", which GeunHyuk had never seen or even heard of. That piece of information had shocked Y/N who had then firmly insisted on making it the choice of the night, insisting that despite its sad nature, the movie told a story too beautiful not to be known.

A small smirk formed on Geumhyuk's lips as he felt her gaze on him, his eyes averting towards her own.

"I want to cuddle you," she stated cutely, a pout forming on her lips. The red headed man chuckled and opened his arms wide so she could make them her home for the night.

"What are you still doing there then?" Y/N smiled moving closer to him, his arms holding her close to his body as hers circled his middle, allowing them both to feel each other's warmth. The girl smiled,  head leaning against his chest as she tilted it up so she could see his handsome face, their eyes meeting in the process.

"Oppa, actually... There is one more thing I would like to do. I hope you don't get mad at me," She said barely above a whisper, biting her lip. His eyebrows furrowed, curious about what it was the girl wanted so badly. His heart skipped a beat as he felt her soft lips pressed against his plump ones in a chaste kiss.

"Are you mad?" The girl questioned hesitantly after breaking the kiss, her hand moving towards his face and caressing his round cheeks that she loved so much with a feather like touch. Geumhyuk chuckled and caressed her hip, shaking his head and pulling her in for another kiss, a deeper one this time. The girl smiled against his lips, her hand tangling onto the short hairs in the back of his head. They pulled away feeling slightly out of breath, their eyes glimmering as they looked at one another.

"Lee GeumHyuk, I think I'm in love with you," Y/N stated, still trying to catch her breath.

"Well, that's good, because I know I love you."

That night, after watching the movie, Y/N ended up sleeping over at his house, waking up the next morning to Geumhyuk's awesome, sweet voice singing right next to her ear. Looking to the side, Y/N saw him singing, a bright smile taking over his lips as he noticed she had woken up. His left hand was supporting his head as he laid by her side while his right one held an orange-ish yellow rose. Y/N's eyes glimmered in amazement as a smile broke through her lips.

" I didn't know you could sing," she said, her smile evident in her voice. Geumhyuk's smile widened and he leant forward, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"Did you sleep well?" He questioned receiving a nod in return. Geumhyuk looked at the rose he held, extending it in her direction. Y/N sat up and smiled, accepting the rose as a rosy colour took over her cheeks.

"Thank you!"

Geumhyuk sat up and held her free hand, eyes locking with her's right after.

"So, about last night..." He started, being interrupted by the girl.

"I meant every word I said," She stated firmly, looking him dead in the eye.

"Then... Y/N, will you be my girlfriend?" He questioned, a smirk appearing at the corner of his lips. The girl's eyes filled with tears.

"If you are willing to deal with my depressed, crazy self... Then, sure," She replied her hand tangling with the hairs on the back of his head as she pulled him in for a kiss. When they pulled away, the man left a soft kiss on the tip of her nose, a sense of peace and happiness filling their beings.

"Well, my beautiful girlfriend, we have banana pancakes that I made for you in the kitchen."

Hearing Geumhyuk’s words, Y/N jumped out of bed and ran towards the kitchen, making him laugh before getting up and following his now girlfriend's steps.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everything had been going great for the couple. Heejun could not shut up about how he had predicted the couple since the beginning, which always made his sister blush, wondering if she had been that obvious over her feelings for Geumhyuk.

"It was really obvious! And it was equally as obvious how head over heels in love with you he was as well, how could you not notice? He did everything in his power to see you happy, to make you smile, to scare those terrible ideas away from your pretty little brain..." He pressed his lips into a thin line, looking at his noona. "And we both know he is the reason you haven't taken yourself away from us," Heejun stated hesitantly. Y/N knew he was right.

Lee Geumhyuk had brought colour and happiness to her life. His kindness and care towards the girl had managed to scare her ghosts away.

She had spent years going to the psychiatrist in order to cure something Geumhyuk had been able to scare away in a matter of months solely with the love he had for her. He made her want to stay alive. She wanted to live for what their love story could be. He didn't judge her, he loved her for who she was, he made her feel loved and special. Y/N felt happy just hearing his laugh, there was nothing in the world capable of calming her down more than his sweet voice. Lee Geumhyuk had been like a breath of fresh air in the girl's worthless life.

This was the reason why what happened next was so unexpected.

One day while at work Geumhyuk got a call from a very frantic Heejun, who tried to speak through tears and desperation, making it hard for the older man to understand his words.

"Heejun, calm down, I can't understa-"

"Hyung, noona just texted me, the thoughts are back, she said she's gonna..." His throat closed up on him, more tears spilling from his eyes at the thought of losing his sister forever. Geumhyuk went static, swallowing hard.

"It can't be..." He mumbled, his eyes shaking. The man blinked as if trying to wake up from a nightmare, however, everything was very real.

"I'll be right there." Geumhyuk finished the call with a shaky voice, his heart beating faster than ever before. He needed to get to her fast. Grabbing his belongings, the man ran out, not worrying about the possible repercussions his action could have.

He couldn't understand.

Everything had been going so well, what could possibly have triggered her depression again?

Thinking about it just made him run faster, the wind making the traces of his tears even more evident as it made them run down his cheeks faster, some even dissipating into his hair. He just wanted to save her. All Geumhyuk wanted was for Y/N to be ok.

Getting to the front of the sibling's house, the receptionist ran to the front door, thanking all the Gods she'd given him a key to the place earlier on their relationship. The man pushed the door open and immediately heard Heejun's screams coming from upstairs, which made him bolt there, finding the younger male trying to force the bathroom door open.

"Heejun," He called, as he walked in his direction, making the youngest look at him.

"Hyung," He sobbed. "I was at work and I got this text from her saying she's a burden for everyone and that she can't keep the ones she loves the most from living a happy life." Geumhyuk shook his head and looked at the door.

"Is she in there?"

"She is, she isn't opening the door or answering me... I'm scared." He stated lowly with a wobbly voice. He was afraid of they were going to find on the other side of the door. Heejun hoped they were still in time to save her.

"Let's try to break in, we might be able to put the door down together," The older said, getting into position. "Ok, on three." Proceeding to the countdown, both men threw themselves at the door, finally succeeding at breaking the door lock after two more tries.

The door hit the wall with a bang, allowing Geumhyuk to find his girlfriend in a trance like state, staring at a bunch of pills that rested on the palm of her hand. Heejun froze at the sight. The man was in shock, he could not understand what had gotten his sister to get to that point.

Geumhyuk's eyes widened as he took quick steps towards the woman, swatting her hand and consequently making the pills fly all over the room.

Y/N jumped in surprise, being taken from her trance. Tears spilled down her face as her body shook, losing strength and falling to the ground. Her boyfriend immediately kneeled next to her, pulling her body towards his own and holding her tightly, trying his best to provide her with some kind of comfort which he knew was very needed.

Y/N sobbed and hid her face on his neck, holding onto his shirt tightly. The red headed man ran his hand through her hair in an attempt to soothe his lover.

"Baby... Why?" The man questioned, his voice barely above a whisper, trying to process everything that was happening. Y/N sighed, exhausted.

"I am a burden to everyone. Heejun goes out of his way to take care of me, who is older than him. I should be the one caring for her little brother, but here I am, making him have to put his life on hold so he can go speak to my psychiatrist every week to make sure my suicidal tendencies don't take the best of me. Heejun doesn't have a life because of me. He lives for me and my shitty situation. And you... You are so perfect Geumhyuk. I don't know how I got this lucky to have met you, to have had you fall in love with me... I am so messed up, I... I just can't control the demons in my head. I was doing so well since we met, but as soon as I was alone, my brain started to overthink. My demons came back and told me  I am being a burden to the ones I love and care the most about. That I should simply just not exist and everything would be so much easier and better for you guys. And I mean, they're not wrong... I'm so tired of being myself." She sighed, lowering her head.

"Don't ever say that again, Park Y/N," Geumhyuk said, his voice sending chills down her spine. "Do you know how much we love you? Do you know how much pain we would have been in had you taken those pills?" He questioned, his voice shaking as he broke down. "Y/N, I love you so damn much. Your brother does what he does for you because he loves you, he wants to know how you are doing. You are his family. You have no idea how happy he gets when your doctor tells him how much you have progressed, that you are enjoying the present and have plans for the future. You certainly aren't a burden to me either. You are my person, my missing half. I love you for yourself, Y/N. I told you from the start that whatever is going through your mind, I want to help you with it. You are not a mess. You are depressed, you are feeling and there is nothing wrong with that. Get it through your beautiful brain. Fill it with our loving words so the demons get so scared that they leave for good. With all your positive traits and flaws, I want you. I want us. I want all of it. With you. Only with you, Y/N." He affirmed, looking deep into her crying eyes. The girl reached up and stroked his cheek, his head leaning onto her palm.

"What did I do to deserve you?" She questioned out loud. He himself would wonder the same sometimes and he couldn't find an answer. He didn't know how he had gotten such an amazing girl, that's the tricky part about life. The best things are never earned, they fall onto our laps out of nowhere with no warning whatsoever and come to make us tremendously happy.

Like their love for one another.

"I'm sorry, please don't give up on me, I promise I will try hard and get better, oppa. I, too, want it all with you. And I want my brother to live his life without having to worry about me every waking moment of the day. I will get better, please just be patient with me."

"Sweet Heart, I'm going to love you in your weakest moments and your strongest ones. I'm going to love you when you're happy and I'm still going to love you when you are sad. When you can't look on the bright side I will sit with you in the dark. Love, don't you understand? I'm here with you and I don't plan on going anywhere." He stated, placing his lips to her forehead, his hold on her tightening.

"Noona, we will be here for you every step of the way. I believe in you. I know you can do it." Heejun said, crouching down next to the couple and rubbing his hand up and down his sister's arm comfortingly. "You are not a burden to any of us, it's a pleasure to climb this mountain by your side and see your progress." The man finished. Geumhyuk nodded in agreement and smiled softly. "We will never give up on you. And we won't let you give up on yourself either." The girl smiled tiredly, eyes darting between both men.

"I have two pretty big reasons to keep going, I can see that now."

That day, she learned something: We can never be good enough for everyone, however, we will always be perfect for those who love us and are deserving of our love. A person that truly loves us will never let us go no matter how hard the situation gets. They accept us for who we are.

Maybe Y/N didn't have a lot of friends, but she had her brother and a loving man who had sworn to spend forever by her side, and that alone made her want to know what forever looked like.

MASTERLIST

[an-unknown-writers-world]

White Christmas

Day Twenty-One: Favorite Christmas Movie

Part of @panicfob​ 25 Days of Christmas Challenge

Warnings: None

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (First Person, nameless)

Characters: Bucky Barnes

Word Count: 1435

A/N: If you’ve never seen White Christmas or Holiday Inn, you are definitely missing out.  If you’ve missed any of this series, it can be found here – Masterlist. As always, thanks for reading.

----------------------------------

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Bucky worried.

I nodded, “I’m sure. I think I’m just exhausted, it’s been a long month.”

He had just come back to the bedroom to shower after a long morning workout, normally by now I had gotten up and was dressed. But the exhaustion and nausea I felt yesterday afternoon hadn't seemed to subside any.  

“What can I do?” He asked.

“Nothing, babe. Really, I’m fine. I just need to sleep a little longer.” I assured him. “Go take your shower.”

He bent down and kissed my forehead.

I shuffled in the bed, pulling the blankets further up. Before I knew it I had drifted back to sleep.

** A few hours later **

I felt the bed dip beside me and began to stir awake. Bucky’s felt my forehead with the back of his hand before smoothing my hair. I don’t know how long I’d been asleep this time, but it still didn’t feel like long enough. His hand came to rest in the crook of my neck, cradling my face.

“Mmmm,” I hummed out.

“I brought you banana toast,” He spoke softly, “my mom used to make it from me when I was little.”

It warmed my heart that he was trying to recreate things that made him feel better. It sounded disgusting, but I could try it, for him.

“I also made you tea. I’m sure I didn’t put enough sugar or milk in it.”

I moved to sit up, “I’m sure you did fine,” I smiled.

Leaning forward I rested my forehead against his shoulder, his arm wrapping around my side. His hand slowly moved up and down my back in a soothing motion. I didn’t feel like I was going to puke, that was a first for the day.

“Do you wanna try and get up for a while?” He asked, “Come watching a movie or two?”

Pulling back so I could see his face, worry evident on it. “Christmas movies?” I asked in return.

He smiled, “I have a couple picked out.”

I nodded, “I’ll try. Will you take my tea and toast? I’m going to wash my face and come in.”

“Sure,” He kissed my forehead before standing up.

Heading into the bathroom I washed my face and brushed my teeth hoping all of it would help me feel at least a little bit better. I took the opportunity to change clothes also, taking on running shorts and one of Bucky’s t-shirts. Lastly, I ran a brush through my hair before making my way to the theater room.

The screen already had a movie queued up to start when I entered the room. Bucky sat on the edge of the front couch, waiting patiently with a mountain of blankets and pillows. He smiled as I came to sit on the couch next to him.

“Feel better?” He asked.

“A little, thank you.” I smiled back as I reached for the toast. “Please tell me this tastes better than it looks?”

He smiled and nodded, “Also, I picked a movie already. It’s an old one, I hope you don’t mind.”

“I don’t mind at all,” I said taking a bite. “It’s not half bad,”

He smiled.

“What’s been going on while I was asleep?” I asked.

He told me a little bit of how things had gone. Pepper had hired cleaner to come in and deal with the mess from last night and Sam left with Maria for the weekend. He told me about his workout and how he tried to clean up around the house best as he could. When I finally finished the toast, he pulled a blanket off the side of the couch.

“Ready?” He asked.

“I’m pretty excited to see what you picked out.”

We situated on the couch so we could both be comfortable before he hit play. As soon as the red screen with holly on each side started, I knew exactly what movie it was. My face lit up with a smile that hurt my exhausted cheeks. This had been my favorite Christmas movie for as long as I could remember. It brought back many memories from my childhood.

The first few minutes played out and I watched closely until I couldn’t contain it anymore; I could not refrain from singing along with the movie. It was a popular song that it opened with, but I knew it from the movie.

“Have you seen this before?” Bucky asked with an eye crinkling smile.

“More times than I can count.” I beamed. “My grandma and I used to watch this and Holiday Inn every Thanksgiving to start our Christmas season.”

“So, it was a good choice?” Bucky seemed unsure.

“Perfect choice,” I stated. “Can we watch Holiday Inn after?”

He nodded, “I’d love to. I saw that movie on the big screen.”

I laughed, “Bing Crosby on the big screen, swoon.” I mocked.

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re incredibly weird?” He joked.

“I mean, I’m in love with a man that is a century older than I am; so, I am very confident that statement doesn’t need to be spoken.” I laughed.

He leaned forward to kiss me. “I love you.”

“I love you more.”

“Hmm, agree to disagree.”

I laughed and took hold of his hand.

“I've always wondered what Bing Crosby was like as a person. He’s so charismatic and multi-talented. He had to of either been one of the nicest and humble human being in the world or a total ass.” I mused.

“All things considered; he was a pretty good guy.”

My eyes shot open wide, “You met him?”

Bucky nodded, “December of 1944 in England.”

“Whoa, Christmas magic,” I mumbled.

He laughed, “something like that.”

We watched the movie play out and each of us sung along with the music as it came across. I couldn’t help the images that my mind conjured of the forties style dresses and going to shows with Bucky. Dressed to the nines, his Sergeant uniform and beautiful dress for myself. It sounded like a little piece of heaven if I was being honest.

“We should have a theme party for New Year’s,” I mumbled.

“What kind of theme?”

“Nineteen forties,” I smiled.

“Oh,”

“Bad oh or good oh?” His face was unreadable.

He stayed silent for a moment.

“Buck you can say no.”

“Maybe next year?” He asked.

“Deal.”

The movie continued to play, and I finally picked up the teacup. It wasn’t hot but it was still decently warm and was soothing to my still rough stomach. Bucky was right, he definitely didn’t put enough sugar in it, but it wasn’t awful. I wanted to ask a hundred questions about that era and what it was like. Could Bucky dance like Bing Crosby? Did he wish he could go back to the Army?

“Can you pause it for a minute please?” I asked Bucky, not waiting for a response.

I ran to the bathroom closing the door behind me. Thankfully I hadn’t eaten much so there wasn’t much to come back up. When I felt confident it had passed for the moment, I got up from the ground and brushed my teeth again.

“Doll?” Bucky knocked on the door. “Are you okay?”

I opened the door and stared at him. “I think I’m dying.”

My theatrics made him smile.

“C’ mere,” He opened his arms.

Stepping into his embrace, I wrapped my arms around his lower back and laid my head against his chest. “I’m starting to think it’s not just exhaustion. I’ve been tired a lot in my life but never thrown up from it.”

“You sure it’s not something you’ve eaten?” He asked.

“No, it comes and goes too much to be food poisoning.”

“If you’re not better in a day or two, maybe we should call Banner.” He suggested.

“I’ll think about it.”

He kissed the top of my head. “Are you up for the last number?”

I chuckled, “As long as there is no expectation for me to dance, I think I can make it through.”

“I guess you’re off the hook for this one instance.” He teased.

He led me back to the theater room and we took a new position on the couch. He laid on his back across the couch and I settled between his legs, my head resting on his chest. We watched the rest of the movie and when it ended, we jumped straight into Holiday Inn; two of my favorite Christmas movies in one day. The best part? They seemed to be Bucky’s also.

 *********************

A/N: For anyone who has put it together already, I know things don’t happen that fast, but for the sake of storytelling, it does in this case. 

[abundanceofsoph]

SkyFire 1: Chapter 17

The North American tour & YouTube Collabs

Word count: 3k

SkyFire 1 MASTERLIST

>Instagram posts

Aurora was nervous when she entered the recording studio in North Hollywood. Mark had sent her the address the previous week and told her that the four members of Our Last Night would be expecting her at 9am, so there she was walking through the front door, with Harry’s supportive hand on her lower back.

“Aurora?”

“Yes, Hi,” she replied, reaching her hand out to shake the one offered to her by the tall brunette standing in front of her. “It’s great to finally meet you, Matt. Thanks for having me.”

“Great to meet you too. We were all stoked when your manager reached out. Thanks again for flying out here.”

“Not at all,” Rori said. “This is my partner, Harry by the way.”

“Nice to meet you, Harry. Everyone else is back this way.”

They followed Matt further into the building, finding the other members of his band sitting around the studio space. Introductions were made and the rest of the day was spent working on the arrangements for the 2 songs they had already decided on covering. They had been emailing back and forth for much of the last week and the band had already done much of the work, so it was simply a matter of putting the final touches to the instrumentals and by the end of the first day they were ready to start recording. The band invited Aurora and Harry back to Trevor’s house for dinner and they gladly accepted, already enjoying the company of the 4 men. Aurora spent most of the evening with Trevor’s 1 year old perched on her lap until the baby was put to bed. They didn’t stay too late and made plans to meet back in the studio earlier the next morning. Over the next few days they recorded the instrumental tracks for both covers, leaving only the vocal tracks left to lay down for their covers of the Chainsmokers All We Know, and Charlie Puth’s We Don’t Talk Anymore.

At the end of her first week in LA, Aurora, Trevor and Matthew all took their turn in the recording booth to lay down the vocals for each track and then they decided to take the weekend off before returning Monday morning to film the music videos.

Harry felt that Malibu was the perfect place to spend the weekend, renting a beach house for the pair and Aurora spent the days lounging beside the pool and soaking up as much sun as she could. Given their usually hectic schedules, the young couple revelled in the free time. The opportunity to waste away hours by the pool, without the constant demands to be somewhere or do something was intoxicating. Harry was happy to set himself up on a banana lounge with a book and a glass of red wine, enjoying the relaxing sounds of the nearby waves and the view of his beautiful girlfriend laying nearby in a bikini. Likewise, Aurora was also enjoying the calming sound of the waves, and would cheekily request that Harry refill her drink, if only to watch him walking around in a pair of boardshorts slung low on his hips and nothing else. Before long, their mini vacation was at an end and Aurora headed back into the studio, spending three days filming the 2 covers and then helping with the beginnings of the editing process. After what felt like no time at all, the pair said goodbye to their new friends with promises to catch up again in the future before heading to LAX to fly up to Toronto for Harry to start the next leg of the bands tour. By the time they returned to the States on Monday, the two covers were posted on both Aurora’s channel and Our Last Nights, much to their fan’s excitement and praise.

xXx

Despite being so close to her home across the river, Aurora didn’t visit while she was in New Jersey with the band and instead Tony came to see her. He was beyond excited when he pulled her into a tight embrace, lifting her feet off the ground as he swung her around.

“Missed you,” he murmured in her ear as he set her back on her feet.

“Missed you too,” Rori replied, “and Pops.”

“He wanted to come,” Tony said, “But things are a bit crazy back home.”

“How is Sergeant Barnes doing?” Aurora asked, leading her dad down the hallways towards the green room.

“Yeah, he’s getting there,” Tony answered. “He was still a bit confused when we finally tracked him down but he’s already getting better. I mean don’t get me wrong, he’s got a long way to go but he’s been doing really well in therapy so it’s just a matter of time really.”

“I was talking to Pops on the phone the other night and he seems really excited to be getting his friend back.”

“He is, I just don’t want him to get his hopes up too much. Barnes has been through so much that I’m not sure he’ll ever be his old self again.”

“I can’t imagine what he’s gone through,” Aurora agreed. “But at least he’s out of it now.”

“You’re right,” her father agreed. “I’ve been working on fixing his prosthetic lately. The one Hydra made for him was a mess. They clearly didn’t care whether it was causing him any pain, so hopefully I can ease that for him with some modifications.”

“Well there’s no one better to work on it than you, dad,” Aurora smirked. “You got Peter helping you on it?”

“I couldn’t stop him if I tried,” Tony laughed. “The kid is having the time of his life.”

The pair spent the rest of the afternoon catching each other up on the last month and simply revelling in being together after weeks apart.

Following the New Jersey shows, Aurora and the band travelled down to Massachusetts, and then on to Washington DC, Pennsylvania, Michigan, Tennessee, Texas, Missouri and finally Illinois. Along the way Aurora continued heading out exploring whatever city they found themselves in while the boys worked, and she would often find herself sitting in on writing sessions for the next album. Harry would often run lyrics by her, asking for her input and she found that Liam and Louis’ writing style was similar to her own which led to her often joining the two as they threw around ideas. By the time they reached Chicago at the end of August, most of the album had been written, if not recorded in full ready for its November release.

Following the last show in Chicago, the band had a week and a half break before continuing the tour in California, so Harry joined Aurora on her flight back to New York on the Sunday afternoon of the last day of August.

xXx

Aurora wasn’t at all surprised by the surprise party that she walked into when she stepped out of the lift and into the penthouse with Harry by her side. The scene that greeted her was so perfectly Tony, that she felt herself grinning widely. There was a banner strung across the living room that read; ‘WELCOME HOME RORI’ with a small crowd of her friends and family assembled underneath it. The crowd included the Avengers, Pepper and Happy, Peter and May, her parents and two new faces; one of which she recognised from photos to be Bucky Barnes, while the other she assumed to be the newest recruit to the team, Sam Wilson. Rori quickly found herself sandwiched between both of her fathers as they threw their arms around her, crushing her in a warm group hug. She laughed as they finally let her go. “I missed you too,” she chuckled, allowing them to lead her further into the room to be passed from one hug to the next as everyone took their turn to welcome her home.

A few hours later, full to bursting from the Chinese takeout Tony had ordered from her favourite place, Aurora was curled up against Harry’s side on the large sofa. Steve brought Bucky over to sit on the sofa opposite the young couple, introducing his daughter to his oldest friend. She smiled softly at him, unsure what to say. She could see the excitement on her Pop’s face to be introducing his best friend from the 1940s but the person she saw before her was also a Hydra assassin who had killed more people than she could comprehend.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Bucky murmured. “Stevie hasn’t really shut up about you.”

“He’s told me a lot about you too,” Rori replied, a soft smile lifting the corners of her lips as she glanced over at her step-father. “That was before he knew you were still alive though.”

“It’s crazy that either of us here now,” Bucky admitted. They continued to talk idly until Steve walked over to the kitchen to refill his and Rori’s drinks. The moment he was out of earshot, Bucky looked between Rori and Harry with a nervous glance. “I understand that you’re both concerned,” he said. “I am too, but I promise you that I’m not a threat.”

“We don’t think you’re a threat,” Harry replied.

“Don’t we?” Rori asked him. “I’m not going to say anything in front of Pops because he deserves this, but I don’t trust you Bucky. Maybe I will someday but not yet.”

“Steve said you were smart,” Bucky replied, seemingly unaffected by Auroras blunt words. “Glad to see he was right. I don’t trust myself completely either but we’re working on it. I’m doing therapy to help with the brainwashing and your dad is fixing my arm. I’ll earn your trust.”

“Yes, you will,” Rori agreed with a genuine smile, dropping the conversation as Steve returned with Sam in tow. “Welcome to the madhouse, Sam.”

“Thanks Aurora,” the newest Avenger replied. “Not sure what I’ve gotten myself into with this one,” he gestured towards Steve, who rolled his eyes. “Should be good fun though.”

“It’s certainly never boring,” Harry joked.

Shortly before midnight, when almost everyone had left for the night, only Nat, Clint and Bruce remained in the living room of the penthouse with the Stark-Rogers family and Harry. After refilling his drink in the kitchen, Tony walked past where Rori was sitting, lifting her wine glass to her lips to take a sip. “What is that on your wrist?” he asked, pulling his daughters attention away from a conversation she was having with Bruce. She paused for a brief moment before following Tony’s eyes to the inside of her left wrist.

“It’s a tattoo,” she replied, holding her arm out so that he could see the fresh ink clearer. “Pretty cool, right? I got it about 2 weeks ago.” The image on the inside of her wrist was of half of Steve’s shield and the right half of the Iron Man helmet, joined together in the middle. “Harry, Louis and I went to this great little tattoo parlour in Philly.”

“It’s nice,” Tony said. “Did you draw it up yourself?” Aurora nodded that she had, tracing her index finger over the ink, smiling at the memory of sitting in the tattoo studio with the two boys, Louis laughing at her as she winced when some of the heavy shading was done.

“I’m already planning the next one,” she told her father. “It really is addictive.”

Tony shot a joking glare towards Harry where he sat with Nat and Clint nearby. “You’ve got a lot to answer for,” he told the younger man.

“I had nothing to do with it,” Harry laughed, raising his hands in mock defence. “She cooked up the idea with Lou and they’d decided they were going long before I invited myself. I was just tagging along and figured I’d get something done while we were there.”

“A likely story,” Tony laughed. “So, what’s the next one?” he asked, turning his attention away from Harry and back to his daughter.

“I wanna get a yellow cab on my ribs,” Aurora explained. “Big Yellow Taxi was mum’s favourite song, so I want to be a walking cliché and put it near my heart.”

“You’re not going to start building a sleeve like Harry’s next, are you?” Steve asked, joining the conversation and sitting down next to Aurora on the sofa.

“No,” Rori promised. “But I think I’ll definitely get a couple more. I really love the idea of having my art permanently a part of me.”

xXx

Harrys stayed for the rest of the week, enjoying spending time with Rori without the pressure and constant scheduling of being on tour. He also enjoyed spending time with her family. He would sit with Rori while she sketched on the sofa in Tony’s workshop, watching her father and Peter working away on whatever project had their attention at any given moment. He’d chat with Rori while she drew, her feet perched in his lap and one of his hands resting softly on her thigh. Sometimes she’d be sketching Tony and Peter, sometimes it was Harry and sometimes it was a landscape she could see only in her mind. They reminisced about the tour, recounting the funnier stories for Peter who lapped it all up eagerly. Every morning the couple would head downstairs to the gym, where Rori would run on the treadmill and Harry would use the weights. Steve would join them most mornings and there were always other members of the team floating in and out of the space. On the Wednesday, Rori started back at Columbia and Harry caught the subway with her, wandering the campus and grabbing a coffee at one of the small cafes while she attended her two classes for the day. When she was finished, the pair walked back to the tower through Central Park, taking their time in the autumn sunshine. Eventually Harry had to leave for California, and while Aurora tried to pretend she wasn’t upset to see him go, she lasted only until he was standing in front of the lift with his bag slung over his shoulder. Happy was waiting with the car downstairs and they had agreed to say their goodbyes in private, both knowing that if Aurora went to the airport with Harry, they would be on every gossip blog by morning.

“I’ll see you at Christmas,” Harry promised. Aurora nodded, swallowing thickly against the emotion building in her throat. “Come here,” he said, pulling her against him as the tears welled up and flowed down her cheeks.

“I got so used to see you every day,” she admitted, her face pressed into his neck. “I don’t want to say goodbye.”

“I don’t want to go either,” Harry said, “but you’ve got school and I’ve got the tour to finish. It’ll be December before we know it.”

“I love you,” she told him, pulling her face back from his neck to look into his eyes.

“I love you too,” he promised, leaning forward to lock their lips together.

“Sorry to interrupt,” JARVIS said, “But Mr Styles will need to leave now if he does not wish to miss his flight.”

“I’ll call you when I land,” Harry said, pecking her lips one last time before stepping into the waiting elevator car. As the doors slid closed, she stared at them for a few long minutes before turning towards the living room and throwing herself onto the sofa, her face buried into the cushions. Tony found her there half an hour later and sat down next to her hip, rubbing a handing down her back.

“Harry get away alright?” he asked to which Rori nodded, her face still pressed into the fabric below her. “You wanna watch a shitty movie and eat crap food that will make Steve disappointed in both of us?”

“Yeah,” she mumbled, finally sitting up and allowing her father to crush her in a tight embrace.

xXx

Two weeks after Harry returned to the tour, Aurora was sitting at the large dining table with every member of the Avengers team present. They were halfway through the meal before Clint finally snapped, asking the question on everyone’s mind. “Rori are you gonna tell us why you made such a big deal about everyone having dinner tonight?”

Aurora looked up from her plate, glancing around the table to see everyone’s eyes on her, expectant. “Uhhhh,” she mumbled. “I just wanted to talk to you all at the same time, so I didn’t have to repeat myself.”

“You’re not pregnant, are you?” Clint asked, causing both Tony and Steve’s heads to snap towards their daughter.

“No!” Rori gasped, both men visibly relaxing in response to her answer. “Christ, Clint. I just wanted to talk to you about the fact that we’re having visitors for the next few days and I would appreciate if you could all stay on your own floors and stay out of here, so you don’t embarrass me.”

“What kind of visitors?” Bruce asked.

“I’m collaborating with a band called Boyce Avenue, so the three members are going to be here until Monday to record in the studio,” Aurora explained, growing more nervous with every second as Nat and Clint shared a look that could only spell trouble for her.

The three Manzano brothers arrived the following morning and within the hour, the four of them were already set up in Aurora’s studio downstairs. As with her collaboration with Our Last Night, much of the work had been done via email over the previous weeks, so they got straight in to running through the arrangements for their covers of Zedd’s The Middle and Khalid’s Love Lies. The process was effortless and over the next 4 days they recorded the instrumental and vocal tracks as well as filming the two videos for their separate channels. Aurora and Alejandro’s voices blended together beautifully, and they all had so much fun working together. Thankfully the Avengers took pity on her and stayed out of the way for the duration of the Manzano’s visit and before long the men returned to Florida while Aurora through herself into her college classes, hoping that the months of separation from Harry really would fly by as he’d promised.

NEXT CHAPTER

OR CONTINUE READING ON AO3

[alliswell21]

The Case of the Missing Donut, or How Katniss Breakfast was Stolen

For @wendywobbles, sorry you were the victim of office thievery. Hope this helps. Mistakes are all mine.

Today... was the worst!

I slept through my alarm; then had to take a freezing shower since my sister hogged all the hot water, I didn’t have a chance to grab breakfast, so I stopped at Dunkin’ Donut and splurged on a Halloween themed donut with an oversized chocolate munchkin covering the hole, and chocolate spider legs piped over gooey vanilla frosting. I stepped in gum right outside the door. It took me about a minute and a half to get all the guck scrapped off my boot. And then I was incredibly late for work.

It’s the first time I’ve ever been late, yet this is the morning the branch manager calls for a staff meeting and of course I get told off for tiptoeing in ten minutes after my boss started his spiel.

I lost 45 minutes of my life in an unproductive meeting where the upper management just went in circles explaining our goals for the last trimester of the year, like we don’t get bombarded with memos about it twice a day.

My stomach growled mortifyingly loud. I could feel a hungry migraine coming.

After the meeting I had to print out a report and had my supervisor sign it and the whole time all I could think about was my precious, sweet snack waiting for me in the break room.

At 11:15 I was finally able to unglued myself from my desk and the pile of work that needed sorting. By then, I was suffering from hunger pains. I almost jogged down the hallway, the image of the donut, and that oversized munchkin on top made my mouth watered.

I stepped into the kitchenette where I left my box to find it pristinely empty. I made a double take, but there was no white and shocking pink box to be found anywhere. I made my way to the fridge, in hopes that someone tried to be nice by putting in there for safekeeping, but again, no luck.

I finally see the corner of the Dunkin Donut box sticking out of the wastebasket in the corner. I practically trip over myself to reach it, panicking the worst has happened! I pluck the cardbox out from under a banana peel, I can feel how light it is. My festive pastry is gone.

My shoulders droop in disappointment; my eyes fill with angry tears.

Is there no justice in this world?!? Who takes a woman’s only self-indulgent snack and continues on with their day, like no thievery has occurred?!?

“Hey, Katniss!”

“No can do, Peeta! I’m out for vengeance!” I tell my only friend in this pit of snakes I call office, and stompdown the hall on a mission.

“Wait… why?” Peeta asks widening his sparkly baby blues, turning on his heel to follow me.

“Someone stole my breakfast, and I’m off to find the culprit, a bring sweet justice to my stomach, and my donut!”

“Oh?” Peeta hesitates for a second.

Long enough to draw my suspicion, so I wheel around and fix him with a scowl.

“Was it you?” I demand point blank.

“No!” He raises his hands in surrender. “But I could—“

“If it wasn’t you, then I’ll be on my way!” I

I spend the next 15 minutes walking around the office, squinting at people on their desks while scrutinizing their faces for any trace of chocolate, or guilt. But I find nothing.

“People are staring at you weird.” Peeta informes unnecessarily.

I sigh. “Maybe I’m overreacting,” I tell him sheepishly. I feel this loss acutely, because it was the first thing I’ve gotten just for me in months. It was the first time in almost a year I wasn’t thinking about rent or car payments. I saw something I wanted, and I decided I could have it.

To bad another a-hole decided they could have it too.

“You’re not. It’s awful that some selfish jerk felt entitled to something that wasn’t theirs, and took it without permission or remorse.” He says frowning.

I’m momentarily distracted by his expression, because he’s normally so sweet and amiable, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this upset before.

The thought that Peeta is a very attractive man, passes my mind— not for the first time— but unlike previous times, I let my eyes linger on his handsome face until he startles me, staring back into my eyes with breathtaking intensity.

“I’m starving.” I blurt out with tears pricking my eyes.

“I know.” He answers with a shrug. “I called my dad and had him rush this over.” He says, producing a brown pastry box engraved with a big M circled with wheat stalks. “This is from our bakery. Is not a donut, but it’s lunch time, and I figured you needed something denser to tie you over.” His lopsided smile is sweet, with just a dash of shyness.

Warmth pools in my stomach, and it’s a different type of hunger.

“I don’t know what to say,”

“You don’t have to say anything,” he smirks, “But I’d love it if you shared some of those with me.” He nods at the box cradled in my hands.

“It depends.” I sniffle, “Did you ordered cheese buns? Because the answer to your request to share heavily depends on whether or not your father delivered Mellark cheese buns.” I weight the box in my hands experimentally, but I can smell the herbs and melted cheese blend already.

Peeta chuckles, shaking his head ruefully. “Wow! Seriously, Everdeen? And here I thought you’d reward my generosity with pastries! I knew I should’ve gone with the raisin and nut bread! You wound me, ma’am. Deeply!”

I elbow him good naturedly, “Come on you praise seeker. But if you brought salad for lunch, I get a couple bites of whatever protein you put on it!”

He gives me a mock stricken glare, but we start laughing on our way to the break room, his hand sitting on the small of my back, and me, cozying up into his side.

[where-dreamers-go]

“Top Ten” Kylo Ren x Earthling! Reader

(Anon asked: “I loved your post about Kylo Ren and the reader being from Earth! Do you think you could do one with the same idea of the reader being from Earth and is dating Kylo? She gets him to react to the top 10 dumbest tweets because they’re just so funny and it makes it even funnier when you know that there is a lot of people out there that are really that stupid. (Mostamazingtop10 is the channel on YouTube)”

Warnings: Dumb tweet mentions and reference to their content.

Word Count: 1,751 )

Being Supreme Leader of The First Order had its advantages. One such advantage being that he made his own schedule. A second such advantage was that Kylo Ren had no one who would ridicule him nor tell him to spend less time with his partner.

For you, living in amongst The First Order was definitely something you never saw coming. Honestly as someone from Earth you only expected so much in terms of being involved with events other than those of your homeworld. Space travel was one thing you were still trying to mentally grasp even after a year of knowing and dating the Kylo Ren.

Despite a schedule that could be changed on a whim, you found yourself having quiet time with your boyfriend. No creepy helmet, no barking general, and no training. It was the perfect alone time.

“Feeling better today?” You asked as you joined Kylo on the dark-colored couch.

“Always better with you.”

You shook your head at his smirk.

Over the past couple of days Kylo had been feeling a tad under the weather not that the medical droids diagnosed him with anything besides fatigue. Thankfully, you were someone he’d listen to, especially when it came to taking care of himself.

You had a way of putting your foot down and speaking logically.

“How about we get our minds off of business for a while and entertain ourselves,” you suggested.

“That sounds very agreeable.”

“YouTube it is!”

“You—what?”

“Videos online,” you reached over for his Datapad.

“Earth thing, right.”

“How….about…oh. Top tens. Umm….how about dumbest tweets?”

Kylo ran a hand over his face.

“Out of everything we could be doing with now you want to watch a holovid about idiots?” Kylo looked at you strangely if then with an amount of judgement.

“Well first I have to remember how to find all of the,” you tapped away at the Datapad, “Earth based sites. They run differently…”

Kylo draped an arm behind you on the couch.

“There we go.”

Once finding the right links the rest of your search was easy.

“Over fifty videos?”

“We’re not going to watch them all. Chill.” You patted his leg in reassurance. “I mean, it’s funny to a point until you realize it’s real. They’re people who just…don’t get it or something. It’s really sad if you just think about it. Disappointing and slightly-worried sad because how have they gotten this far?”

You pressed for the very first video to play.

Kylo sat quietly, seemingly giving the video a chance.

How long would that last exactly? If it did.

The video started as a countdown from ten. Added that it really did start off pretty foolish. In a pay-attention-to-what-the-sentence-actually-was sort of way.

Obviously the first person did know what the phrase ‘I’d rather kill myself’ actually meant.

You could feel Kylo’s eyes as they peered over at you.

“They don’t realize what they’re saying…usually that’s an excuse.”

“Or they have no idea at all,” Kylo said.

The following tweet included the idea of the Earth having a birthday. Or rather someone thinking that the planet was only 2,014 years old.

“I forgot that Earth still has their own—.”

“Shh!”

His only comment and response afterwards being an exaggerated exhale through his nose.

“Earthlings are stubborn to keep things how they like them.”

“Is that why there’s a group that prohibits the idea of space travel even while a cargo ship supplies them with food?”

You shrugged.

Number eight of dumbest tweets came in the form of not knowing the answer meanwhile the answer was in their question. Also known as: when someone doesn’t realize that the name most people refer to a president by is their last name.

“Wow,” your shoulders shook with laughter. “How’s American History class going for you?”

“This is old.”

“I know. Shh.”

He flicked your shoulder.

You bopped his knee.

You were messing with your boyfriend, but also messing with how it wasn’t entirely the person’s fault for not knowing the last name of a president. Names were almost used as nicknames in some cases.

“Couldn’t they have searched it on the Holonet? Were they that lazy?”

“Shh.”

Tweet number seven on the list had a lead up that was already having Kylo cringing.

A tweet that included someone believing something online without thinking about the real life, common sense, science. Against what the person tweeting had read, a microwave that heats up food or drinks was not ever going to charge the battery of a phone.

“No. No, no….they—they did,” he groaned.

“Good lesson though.” You suggested. You couldn’t even imagine what information they lost on their SD card let alone the condition of the microwave.

“And if it wasn’t? What if after all of that, they still believe it?”

You shrugged as it started the next tweet soon after explaining the why it obviously didn’t work.

A tweeted question appeared about whether the amount of months a woman was pregnant doubled or not if she had twins. That was definitely different. Not to mention odd.

“Only child?”

“Probably,” you said.

“Did poorly in health lessons?”

“More likely.”

“That would be an extremely long time. They should have thought about their question longer. Would have taken them eighteen months.” He chuckled.

“Have you thought about it?”

He didn’t say a word.

Number five on the countdown had a person who had no idea that apples also had a variety of green.

“Does she live on a desert planet?”

You elbowed him lightly.

“It’s food. A common one, right?”

You nodded.

When the host mentioned about the colors of bananas and oranges to tell the person who tweeted, you both started snickering.

“Wanna send Hux some oranges?”

“Too expensive. Earth is too close to wild space.”

“Could you do it for my birthday?”

Your snickering continued a little longer as the next tweet involved someone who, though excited, did not know whether they’d be an aunt or an uncle.

“I’m guessing their parents are both the only child.”

“Yeah,” Kylo leaned closer to you. “This one isn’t so bad. The heating up a phone was pretty ridiculous. It went against knowledge of two machines.”

“True, but here they somehow managed to think that the baby’s gender, no matter how that works out, determines whether they are an aunt or uncle. I have a lot of questions about this. Did someone tell them something? Did they mishear or—?”

“It’s the next one. Last three.”

You could actually hear the amusement in his voice. That was a happy change. Also an almost rare one.

Well the third in the list was definitely something. It was a mixture of ignorance, poor grammar, and a bit of rudeness. Long story short, they believed that the Earth was flat. They firmly believed it.

Pausing the video, Kylo waited for you to face him before he made a ‘you serious?’ expression.

“It’s not my fault that even with space travel people on Earth thought or still think that the planet’s flat.”

“How do they not believe what’s…what they are living on?”

“I don’t know. I guess they don’t look out onto the curved horizon or a lunar eclipse.”

He threw his head back and slumped in his seat.

Again you patted his thigh, but this time in an effort to comfort him from others’….lack of knowledge.

“Oh, no,” you watched tweet number two as the video panned down on a tweet that included pictures. “It’s literally the same name and face. Read the credits, sweetie.”

“What’s a bel air?”

Whipping your head in his direction, you had a realization.

“You’ve never watched it.”

“Is…is it a show?”

“Yes. That’s next on your learning-from-Earth to-do list. I was wondering why you weren’t giving much of a reaction.”

“It’s still stupid.”

“Language.”

The number one dumbest tweet appeared on screen. The finale of the video. Yet it only took the image of someone’s debit card to raise a response from Kylo.

Loud groaning from your boyfriend drowned out the audio from the video.

“She literally was giving away all of the information they should have told her to keep to herself. What did she think was going to happen? Is no one telling her? No sense. She deserved that one.”

“Maybe somewhere and somehow she figured it out.” You said.

“Doubt it.”

“Give the earthlings a chance.”

“There’s only one earthling worth chances.”

You smiled to yourself despite everything.

Once you thought that the tweet’s story was at a close, it wasn’t. You both heard the continuation of the tweet.

“She did the same thing again? Seriously? Did she not learn anything from people using her card? Is it going to take her ten times to figure it out?”

“Chill, babe. Chill. You don’t have to deal with it.”

By then the video was wrapping up nicely and advertising more videos.

“There. It’s over.”

“I can only take so much stupidity.”

“You’ll be okay,” you leaned down to kiss his forehead. “And be nice.”

“And just so we’re clear, I think it’s safer for you never to return to your home planet for the sake of your intelligence.”

“It’s not all that bad. There are a lot of intelligent people from Earth.”

He rose a dark eyebrow at you.

“Don’t give me that attitude, mister.” You poked his nose.

An unseen action pulled the Datapad from your grasp.

It did not surprise you nor did it baffle you. Your boyfriend was a Force user. Common knowledge.

Kylo set the Datapad aside as he refocused on you.

“You took those tweets very well.”

He eyed you suspiciously.

“Want the truth?”

He nodded.

“I’ve heard worse while still on Earth.”

“My earlier statement is now an order. You’re not traveling back. I will give you more duties here. Have you deal with Hux.”

“Please, no.”

There was his familiar chuckle, only seen and heard by you, as he proved that he was slightly teasing. He respected and valued you; he wasn’t about to ruin your day by forcing you to spend time with Hux or not pick where you could go.

“So…,” you leaned closer to play with his dark hair. “Wanna watch Fresh Prince of Bel Air?”

“I think I’ve watched enough holovids today.”

Your boyfriend, the Supreme Leader, had other ideas in mind to spend his time with you in company.

~~~

(If you love my writings and want to support me, I have a Ko-Fi where you can buy me a coffee. I would be eternally grateful. coffee

Best wishes and happy reading.)

[breathebangtan]

Credulous

Ch. 1: Savior

Genere: FallenGuardianAngel!Jimin, Supernatural

Members: Jimin

Pairings: Jimin x y/n

Synopsis: love is an uncontrollable feeling, even for those who were meant to protect, and only protect. Nothing more and nothing less. Yet somehow, there was always outliers.

Warnings: Cursing, drunk behavior and what not

Word count: 2.5k

A/N: Please like and reblog if you enjoy!

Teaser | Mood board 1.0 | 1.5 | 2.0 | 2.5 | Ch.2

~

“I’ve got to go now, my lunch break just ended. So, I’ll see you later?” Rae asks through the phone, to which I hum in response. I hang up and toss my phone to the other side of my bed. Lately I’d been spending too much time alone, but I never truly felt alone. It always felt like someone was there with me, and it wasn’t at all an ill feeling. Not creepy, or eerie, or anything, it was actually quite a warm and welcoming feeling. Wasn’t sure why I felt that way, but the amount of warmth and comfort it brought pushed my questioning thoughts away.

Still remember the first time I felt it. I was sat on my living room floor, crying desperately for help. Help that no one would be able to give me. I’d been fired that night, and bills were starting to pile up. I wasn’t sure where I’d find a new job. I’d felt angry and wronged, the only reason I was fired was because of someone else’s mistake. Unfortunately for me, that person had it out for me, blaming their mistake on me purposefully. I remember how the anger and sadness made me feel empty inside. It was like I wasn’t myself, but suddenly everything stopped. My tears had dried up and the emotions I felt had evaporated. All I felt was comfort, warmth, and love. The presence of someone next to my side, yet there was no one there. From that moment on, every time I had felt upset, cried, or even simply felt alone, that feeling came crashing back.

It was hard to get use to the first week, too overwhelming. Over time I got use to it. It quickly became my own personal paradise. My piece of peace. My slice of heaven. I use to hate being alone, but now I couldn’t wait to come home from uni or work to be alone. Summer came after that, but the harsh sun rays that burned my sensitive skin couldn’t compare to the warmth I felt in the unknown presence. Soon I started to feel it all the time, faintly but still there. Of course it was always much stronger when I was alone.

I finally pulled myself out of my thoughts when the sweet smell of banana bread started to fill the apartment. I ran to my kitchen, ready to eat. I just wanted to stay in today, be wrapped up in my blankets and watch a movie marathon or something. Of course, I wouldn’t be able to. Rae had begged me to come to the frat party with her from the moment people started buzzing about it. It’s not like I didn’t like parties. I enjoyed the distressing that followed dancing and listening to the music. Being honest though, I was more into house parties with people I actually knew and cared about. Having fun and making jokes with my friends was easily preferable than frat parties.

Quite frankly, these parties weren’t always so helpful in distressing. Sometimes it would leave me feeling worse. It was always a gamble, and like always, I wasn’t sure which experience I’d get tonight.

Eventually, I gathered the strength to get up and hop in the shower. Didn’t take too long to decide on what to wear. A tight off shoulder black top that reached just above my belly button, along with a tight jean skirt. I fixed my hair and waited in my living room for Rae to call me when she was ready to go. Awhile past by before I finally got a message from her. She was outside.

She was barely walking up the stairs to my door when I stepped out. “Ready to kick off the weekend?” She cheered as she climbed the last two steps. “Of course, this should be fun.” My voice was only semi enthusiastic. I wasn’t trying to be so rude, but I just wasn’t feeling tonight. That, and I had an odd feeling in the pit of my stomach. “There’ll be a lot of cute boys there too!” She nearly squealed in excitement as she said this, making me grimace. “Yup, so many cute boys.” It was so much more obvious this time that I couldn’t care less. I mentally hit myself for letting it be so noticeable, just because I didn’t care didn’t mean I needed to ruin her night. “Oh, come on!” She pulled on my arm as we walked. “What?” I smiled innocently, hoping she’d let it go. Thankfully she did.

Finally after a long walk, we made to the party. The music thumping against my eardrums as soon as we stepped in. My first reaction was to look for drinks. I would need a few to be able to hold out long enough. Once I had two red cups filled with liquor in my hands, I walked back to Rae. Handing one of the cups to her. She thanked me and made her move on a guy she was crushing on for the past month. I rolled my eyes unconsciously as I made my way to socialize with another crowd.

Thankfully the night was going great. I had made a couple new acquaintances who were very funny. Talking to a couple familiar faces here and there. “We have Mr. Spencer’s class together, don’t we?” A familiar guy asked. He wasn’t wrong, he sat three rows ahead of me in class. His name was Leo. He was an alright student, the class knew him for being a jokester. Which our teacher enjoyed as he was somewhat of a clown himself. Always incorporating jokes into his lectures. “Yeah, it’s nice to see you, how are you enjoying the party?” I asked him, taking another sip of my drink. He ended up being really nice and stuck around for awhile. Which was nice and all, but I was afraid he was getting the wrong idea. The whole situation made me walk away and look for Rae again.

I had finally found her after a while of searching the place. She started gushing at me the second she saw me. “We fucken kissed! Y/n! He kissed me!” She dramatically placed her hand over her forehead and let her head fall back, as if she’d faint. “I’m not dreaming am I?” I could only giggle at her school girl behavior. She spent a long half hour telling me how she couldn’t believe he’d kissed her and she swore it couldn’t be real. That’s when Leo came around. He was leaning against the wall opposite of me. He was just there, watching me dance with Rae, and it had started making me uncomfortable after a while. Which lead me to just stand there and talk to Rae, in hopes he’d go away. To my luck, however, she noticed him too.

“He obviously likes you, just talk to him already!” Rae gives me a little push forward, in attempts to get me over to him. “I came to have fun, not get laid. Thank you.” I snort at her. Bestfriend or not, she needs to stop trying to get me to sleep with any piece of meat that walks in. This wasn’t the first time she had tried it. “Come on, live a little.” Rolling my eyes, I get ready to walk away. “I’m trying to but you won’t let me. Look, I think I know what I need and want better than you.” Empty red cup in hand, I walk into the kitchen to fill it up. Not knowing if the pounding in my head was a headache or the sickening base of the music playing.

I let the cold liquid slip down my throat before tossing the cup in the garbage can. This place was getting dull, I couldn’t see a reason to stay. I checked my pockets and bag to make sure I had all my belongings with me before I walked out the door. The music started to fade away in the background. The pain in my head calming.

Usually I wouldn’t have left a party so soon. I’d be on the dance floor, enjoying myself. However, tonight Rae insistence on finding me someone to go home with was utterly annoying and off putting. I couldn’t understand why she was so persistent about it. Too focused on Rae, I hadn’t noticed the foot steps that had steadily followed me for four blocks. My hearts palpitations started going crazy. I had been in my fair share of altercations, you’d think I’d be use to it, but no. Each time, my body entered a panic mode.

The pounding in my head came back as soon as I realized not much was left to my apartment. Who ever was following me would know where I lived. The panic started pumping through my veins like crazy. My ears buzzing at the sound of his footsteps getting closer and faster. What would I do?

“Slow down for me, yeah?” The man's voice brought shivers to my spine, despite the heat of the night. God could only help me now. I tried my best to just ignore him and keep walking faster. “Hey! I said slow down.” A strong hand gripped my forearm, yanking me back. “Aren’t you going to invite me over to your place?” The man’s face was familiar. It belonged to a friend that was standing next to Leo as he had watched Rae and I dance. I hadn’t even noticed his stares at me until now. Seeing his face placed the image in my head again. How did I not see him before?

“Look, I’m not looking for anything tonight, yeah? So how about we drop this?” I shook his hand off my forearm and turned around to keep walking. All of the alcohol seemed to be out of my system from this situation, a cold sweat washing over me. Not even two steps in, and he had his hand on me again. “Come on, I’ll make you feel good.” His hand traveled down to my waist, to which I quickly pushed away. His words filled my mouth with a bitter taste, making me grimace. “I said no.” My voice was meant to be affirmative but it was weaker than I intended. “Hey! Don’t walk away from me!” I could tell from his voice alone he was too drunk to function and just hoped he’d trip or something and pass out.

“She said no, why don’t you get out of here.” A blonde man, with a white sweater on walks up to us. The second he had walked up to us, I felt the familiar feeling of warmth, comfort, and love. Although, my body wasn’t responding to it like before. Instead it felt like it did the first week. Overwhelming and blinding, but it was twice as strong compared to that time.

“Why should I?” The creep from the party pokes. To intoxicated to realize that he’s not getting any tonight. “Haven’t I already made it clear? I. Am. Not. Interested.” Just my luck, why did I always have to get into these types of altercations? The panic state my body had been in was starting to fade. It’s not like I wasn’t worried about the whole situation, it’s just that the annoyance I was starting to feel overpowered it. Oddly enough, it was like that warm feeling was making me feel safe, like nothing would happen.

“You heard the lady. Leave, or else.” The poor guys attire didn’t exactly make him look like a threat, making me unsure of how seriously the tool in front of us would take him. “Or else what? What’s a fluff ball like you going to do? Huh?” He counters, flicking a strand of the shorter man’s hair, a light chuckle leaving his throat. Albeit, he wasn’t much taller. “You don’t want to know, trust me.” His voice came off assertive, nothing dark laced on it, but it sure as hell was packed with a certain type of power I’d never heard before. Leaving a tingle in my spine that told all my senses that, this man may look like he can’t take much, but looks weren’t always everything. The drunk man seems caught off guard for a moment as well, but he soon laughs it off. Not taking him seriously. White sweater next to me, suddenly turns and looks me dead in the eyes, “Walk away, yeah? I’ll deal with him.” He starts to jolt me forward, away from the two of them.

However, this jerk that doesn’t take no for an answer grips my shoulder. “She’s not going anywhere with you! I saw her first!” He yells, suddenly slamming me into his body, tight arm around my waist. “What the fuck? I’m not a piece of meat you can just call dibs on!” I yell back, shoving him away with my elbow. Quite possibly an all too ballsy move. He grunts in return, as my elbow had jabbed at his ribs. “You bitch!” He yells, raising his hand to hit me, lucky for me, my reflexes kick in. “Don’t you dare touch her.” The blonde guys voice commands him, stopping his hand in the air.

“Fine, I’ll go through you first.” He spits back. He starts swinging, but my rescuer perfectly doges each one. An impressed smile forms on my lips, but it doesn’t last long. The creep was starting to get irritated at his missed punches, causing him to look at me with anger in his eyes. “All because of some dumb slut? Have her!” He grunts as he pushes me, elbows hitting the ground first, breaking my fall. It causes a pain to rush up my arms at the sting. “I told you not to touch her.” The guys voice sounds lower than before. He turns to me. “Do as I say, walk away and don’t look back, now.” He tells me, and my body seems to answer to his words over my own thoughts. It’s like his voice switched on the autopilot function in my body.

I’m not too far when I realize that I never heard any grunts of pain, or the sickening sound of punches. What was going on? I wanted to turn back and see if my rescuer was ok. My body just wasn’t responding to me. My apartment complex was in view when I finally regained control of my body. Taking the chance to look back. Nothing was in the distance, and instead the blonde man was running to catch up to me. “You Alright?” I just nodded at his question, to confused as to what had happened after I walked away.

“Look at your arms, does it sting?” He questioned me as he delicately held my arm, turning it to inspect my scraped elbow. They were both bleeding worse then I had expected. “Do you have a first aid kit?” I was too overwhelmed by the warm feeling rushing back to me when he had come up to me again. “I don’t have band aids.” I blurt out, it’s barely audible, as if my mouth had run dry. “Let’s go buy some then, huh?” His voice asks the question, but his body language almost commands it. I follow him to a drug store near my apartment complex. God, what was happening? I felt dizzy with this feeling inside me and I didn’t know what to do.

I just hoped I didn’t faint before I got home.