#i saw a clip of the that one stream saying he would like to enter the qsmp if quackity lets him

[ctommy-chileno]

I don't really want Tommy to join the qsmp He just doesn't have the vibe for it I can't explain it more than that

[cherrynwinesk]

Not really a fic but any headcanons with this idea? Reader is a big streamer so quackity asked them to join the qsmp server, they kinda talked earlier so they know about each others existence but it's not like they were ever friends. How would quackity act after he started to develop a crush on reader??

🍒:It's very long, sorry

Quackity Headcanon's

Added to QSMP

Story g: sfw

Language: English/Inglés

⚠️: None

CC's: Quackity

Reader g: Neutral reader

📝: All the content is fictitious and an attempt is made to adapt the PUBLIC personality of the cc's, that is, the personality that is shown in front of cameras, I do not know the true personality and any resemblance to reality is mere coincidence.

🍒: Hello, writing requests are always open, if you want something in particular, ask without fear. I clarify that English is not my main language, I apologize for any error and accept corrections to improve the quality of the content

Master List

•The invitation to be part of the QSMP would arrive in your business email

•You would be so busy streaming, editing some videos for YouTube that you hadn't even noticed that email

•Your manager would notify you of this

•You had heard about the server, even watched some clips on tiktok, but you didn't know what the main function was or what it was about, you only knew that Quackity was the owner

•You came to feel confused, you had never had contact with Quackity, you had never spoken, you had never met at any event, so why would he invite a stranger to his precious project?

•You had friends in common, but fate had never brought you together

•You thought about the invitation, since you had many things to do, including creating your plan for the entire week's content on stream and organizing your schedules to be able to edit

•So stay at the highest level where you have always been among the biggest creators in the world

•But you didn't have many ideas currently, so you considered the invitation

•Quackity himself would immediately contact you

•You would like to plan everything directly with the server members so that there are no misunderstandings

•Both would schedule a call on Discord, trying to coincide with your free time

•There was not much communication between you until the day you agreed

•Nothing out of the ordinary, he would explain to you about the project, the creators who are already on the server, he would talk a little about the lore that some members already have

•It sounded very interesting by the way.

•You both got along very well, you were able to communicate easily and there were no problems in your first time interacting

•Agreed on a date on which you will join the server

•The day you would be announced as a member of QSMP Quackity would do his routine stream in Spanish playing a little time with Roier, Ironmouse, Forever or someone

•Then he would raid his main channel and in it he would talk about how he was excited for this new member, since you are a global content creator, and that it meant a lot to have you on his server (being humble)

•Immediately you were announced as part of QSMP, Twitter exploded

•Your name and Quackity being a trend, and it was all because no one expected this good news

•The next day you entered the server for the first time and started with the basics by playing Minecraft, wood, sticks, pickaxe, killing cows

•You immediately made a good relationship with the other members, it was such a relaxed atmosphere

•You have never laughed so much in your life

•Even outside the server that friendship continued

•But you were closer with Quackity

•You two had a humor that complemented each other

•There was no fear of saying something wrong, you could be yourself

•You might not think anything strange, for you it would just be a good friendship like with any other member

•But actually for Quackity it was a little different

•At first Quackity was a little excited that you would agree to be on his server

•First of all cause you are a big cc

•Quackity saw your content a few times, and knew that your personality would fit perfectly into QSMP

•From the beginning he liked the way you stayed active in your streams, never stopping talking, interacting with your chat even though your community was so big

•He even wanted to learn a little about you, because he knew that everything you were and had you got fairly

•You deserved everything you had and he even admired you too much

•He was so nervous about talking to you, doing something wrong or that something in the project wouldn't interest you, since he hadn't even hoped that you would accept the invitation

•Now that you were closer, Quackity started to feel different around you.

•He started to like you, but he still doesn't accept it

•At first he would think that he just likes you too much.

•But the day his sister asked him "Do you like y/n?"

•He'd notice and he'd be like "No, why do you ask that? He/she's my friend."

•Most likely, his sister had to hear about what happened inside QSMP, but you being the one he always mentions, that's why she would come to such a conclusion.

•Besides, Quackity would act very excited when it comes to you.

•"Your eyes shine when you talk about y/n" and his cheeks would be red.

•And Quackity would feel so comfortable with you

•He would really like your personality and that would be what made him fall in love.

•Also the way you bring out his true personality without fear

•Once he realized that if he actually liked you he would start to feel nervous around you.

•He would also go watch your streams while he is busy

•Over time he would also like you physically and too much

•Inside him maybe he would have this obsessive crush on you, but he doesn't want to show it.

•He would worry that you had a partner or that he wasn't your type

•More people around him would realize that he is in love and would convince him to tell you what he feels.

•He would refuse for a long time with the excuse that he is married to his job

•His friends would do him the favor (without Quackity asking) of asking you personal things

•Like if you have a partner, what kind of people do you like for a relationship, being very obvious (maybe Roier who doesn't care about anything or Baghera but she would be more subtle with the questions)

•Quackity would travel to meet you irl

•Once you were together he would try to show interest with subtle compliments

•Like saying you're smart

•Or talk about your hair color and mention that he like people with that color

•You would definitely understand and ask him if he is flirting with you

•He would get very nervous but he knows you got him

•"It's very obvious?"

•"Don't worry Quackity, Roier and Cellbit already told me everything"

[pricklepearbloom]

Late for Dinner

Warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, this is my first fic ever so be kind lmao, not beta read so if you find mistakes keep them to yourself

Pairing: Azriel x OC Louella (Lou)

Word count: 3.3K

The comforting smell of freshly baked cookies enveloped the air as Lou bustled through the kitchen preparing for the night ahead. A buzzing sizzled through her veins centered around her middle as she glanced at the clock for what felt like the hundredth time that late afternoon. 5:15. She could get it all done, she reassured herself mentally going through the checklist of things she needed to prepare for tonight. Tonight, she decided, would be the night that she finally accepted the mating bond with Azriel.

She met Azriel months ago while she was on a date with a male at a small coffee shop around the corner from her home. Her date was droning on and on about himself not bothering to notice that he had yet to ask her anything about herself. She knew she would not be going out with him again as she watched the dark sweet liquid in her drink swirl around in her mug. Having rarely gone out with males she was incredibly disappointed with the outcome of the date that her friend had set her up on. After one too many failed relationships this date was the first after a very long break from males. A name cut through the white noise of the coffee shop- her name.

“Louella? Louella? Hello?” Crap. It was her date. Her eyes locked onto his as she zoned back into the present to see his face contorted with his eyebrows scrunched together and a slight frown on his small pale lips. “Have you even been listening to a word I was saying?” No. “Yes of course, sorry I must have zoned out.” Lou lightly laughed to ease some tension “It’s just been one of those days I suppose.” “Well as I was saying…” her date that she couldn’t even be bothered to remember the name of continued to drag on about whatever he had been talking about.

A soft jingle caught Lou’s attention and she glanced to see a tall dark figure enter the coffee shop. Lou briefly analyzed his figure from the shoes up not thinking much of it. Dark laced boots, black form fitting trousers with a dark shirt partially tucked in the front. What really caught her attention were the dark wings that were attached to this male with the impressive figure. Behind broad shoulders were thin, membrane like wings that blocked out all of the sunlight streaming into the café. Her eyes trailed up his figure until they hit his face and she let out a small intake of breath that caught his attention snapping his gaze over to hers.

A feeling of warmth and wholeness extended from her chest reaching out to the male. Mate. She couldn’t draw her eyes away from the male, locked in a staring battle with one of the most dangerous men in all of Prythian. The night court shadowsinger. She couldn’t tell what he was feeling, his face betraying nothing but his eyes on hers felt so intense she knew he felt it too. A hand on her arm had her eyes clipping back to her date. “Are you okay?” A low snarl could be heard from directly behind her and she froze not daring to look behind her.

“Remove your hand or I will remove it for you.” A deep voice graveled out. Her date looked shocked with wide eyes staring up at the shadowsinger. The smell of his fear and faint scent of urine hit her nose as her date shot out of his seat with his hands up practically running for the door stuttering out an apology. Louella couldn’t help but let her mouth gape open as she looked up at the shadowsinger who looked even larger than life standing above her gazing down at her. The coffee shop had gone silent as all eyes were on them. Embarrassment burned through Louella as she stood toe to toe with him.

The magnetism that connected Lou to the shadowsinger was tangible. Her entire body urging her closer to his, eager to be wrapped up in his embrace. Her mind, however, felt differently. Her eyes narrowed at the male and she saw him swallow, the only indicator of his nerves. “Don’t you at least want to know my name before you chase off my date?” She said through clenched teeth. The shadowsinger clenched his hand in a nervous tick unsure of how to proceed. The moment he had been waiting for his entire life was finally here and he was frozen. Stuck in his head as his eyes stayed glued to the most beautiful female he had ever laid eyes on. And she was his. His shadows swarmed around him and one errant one was circling the ankle of his mate. His mate. Who was glaring at him? By cauldron she was beautiful when she was mad. It made a grin tug up the right side of his mouth and he watched her gaze soften a fraction.

“Hi” he ground out the lump in his throat the size of his fist. Lou’s mouth twitched and she felt her entire body clench in anticipation. “Hi.” She said softer than before watching his lips slide into an unsure soft smile. She glanced away with a warm tight feeling in her chest making her jittery.

“Louella.” She stuck out her hand “you can call me Lou though if you’d like.” His eyes softened, his shadows practically singing with joy over the sound of their mate’s voice. He slid his hand into her, engulfing hers completely. She seemed so small compared to him and a small fear shot through him that he would hurt her. No. He pressed mentally; he would never dream of hurting her. “Azriel,” he replied finally. Her heart skipped a beat at the warmth emanating from his hand into hers letting it warm her from her hand to the rest of her body. He glanced down at their hands shaking up and down for much longer than necessary and he couldn’t help his grin, he couldn’t wait for the rest of his life with this beautiful creature.

After their initial introduction, Lou and Azriel took things slow as per Lou’s request. She didn't want to jump into being mated before she was ready or before they got to know each other. They spent countless hours on dates and spending time at each other’s houses. Sleeping over but never going past heavy petting. Wanting to save their first time for when they accept the mating bond. Azriel would have completed the mating bond the moment they met; Lou knew this. But he was gracious enough to not bring it up often so as to not make her feel uncomfortable. But it was always on her mind and she had recently come to the conclusion that she was ready.

She knew that the mating frenzy would take up a lot of their time, so she made sure to prepare things around the home. The dishes were washed, extra food from the market was stored and put away, all of the extra sheets were washed dried and folded nearby just in case things got messy. Lou blushed at the thought, she had been with a few males before but none of them were her mate. She wanted everything to be perfect and was feeling a bit of pressure as time ticked on and it was getting closer to the time that Azriel said he would come home for dinner. Today marked their sixth month since meeting and courting and she hadn’t been able to see her mate all day. He vanished early in the morning murmuring something about Rhys needing him to take care of a camp before he rushed off promising to be back for dinner at 6:00. Time was ticking faster and faster and Lou rushed to set all of Azriel’s favorite foods out on the table making sure everything looked perfect. Another glance at the clock told her he would be back in twenty minutes and she let out a sound of excitement before calming herself. She glanced down at herself and found trails of various powders and the clinging scent of cleaning products. Setting down her oven mitt and taking off her apron she rushed to the washroom to take the worlds’ fastest shower and put on an outfit that she had been saving for this exact occasion. A deep blue that complimented her olive skin wonderfully, wrapped around her bust snugly before flaring out into a knee-length skirt that seemed to flow like reeds in the wind when she walked.

She painted her eyes and lips lightly then strapped her kitten heels on that she knew drove Azriel crazy. Carefully walking downstairs, she looked at the clock and saw that it was nearly 6:00. Azriel should be home any minute. She sat down at the dining table and lit the last candle that she had set out to make the scene even more romantic. Her hands were buzzing with nerves and excitement, her leg bouncing up and down from all of the energy in her body. Her gaze remained trained on the door waiting for her mate to come through the door.

“He’s just running late” She reassured herself after one hour had past and she remained glued to her seat.

“Maybe Rhys held him up with something,” she said after hour two; the food long gone cold.

“Maybe he got hurt,” she worried glancing as the clock struck four hours past. But she dismissed this immediately because she knew Rhys would inform her if anything were to ever happen to him.

“He forgot.” She said softly resigned after six hours. Waves of disappointment and sadness washed over her as she still sat in her chair at the table shrouded in darkness. Tears rolling down her face unperturbed, numbness and exhaustion taken over her body. She heard a jostling of keys and a soft “shit” followed by a thud against the front door. After a few moments, the door swung open and an obviously inebriated Azriel stumbled in. Having yet to notice her, he takes off one shoe at a time nearly falling over after attempting on one foot. He shucked off his jacket and threw it toward the couch but missed by a long shot ending up on the floor next to the fireplace. Lou’s eyes kept trained on him silent as a mouse, she felt as small as one at the moment, so perhaps it was fitting.

Finally, his gaze landed on her and he grinned, his face spreading into a smile that she usually loved so much. Her face remained neutral as he strode over to her placing a kiss on the top of her head in greeting. “Hi beautiful. I missed you tonight, sorry I missed dinner. Cass wanted to celebrate our successful mission today and I must have lost track of time. I’ll make it up to you, promise.” He said much more breezily than usual, not seeing how still Lou was. Not noticing that she hadn’t returned his greeting or even moved since he entered. He kept walking toward the washroom starting to strip his leathers as he went. “You didn’t have to wait up. I’m just gonna take a shower then I’ll meet you in bed.”

Rising slowly from the chair she had been stationary in for many hours, her joints creaked and popped with the movement. She felt like a ghost. What was supposed to be the best and most important night of her life was forgotten and tossed aside for… for drinking with a male that Azriel saw on a weekly basis? Rage started to build deep in her chest, but she shoved it down not letting it surface. She practically glided to the bedroom, not feeling the coldness of the hardwood beneath her feet. She stood in the bedroom hearing the rushing of water and an out of character humming from the male that had tossed her aside this evening. She stepped out of the dress and laid it carefully on the chair in the corner before tugging on pajamas. The water turned off and Azriel stepped out with only a towel wrapped around his chiseled waist. Quickly drying off he slid on boxers before practically throwing himself onto the bed falling asleep almost instantly. Lou stood staring at the now snoring form of Azriel. She had seen him drunk before but nothing like this and he was never so dismissive of her. She started towards the bed before stopping herself, tears burning in her eyes. She couldn’t bear to sleep in the same bed as him, the crushing disappointment of the night hit her like a tsunami and she quickly made a decision grabbing an empty duffle bag filling it with clothes.

Bright light burned through Azriel’s eyes and he groaned instinctively reaching out to the other side of the bed for his mate. Scarred hand brushed over cold sheets and his eyes opened quickly scanning the room for Lou. Azriel shot straight up when his gaze landed on drawers thrown open, various clothes strewn across the room as if left in haste. The alcohol from the previous evening came up to haunt him as a roiling bubbly sensation rumbled through his stomach. He jumped out of bed and threw himself on the toilet to catch the vomit that was currently exiting from his body.

Wiping his mouth with a groan, he slumped over the toilet before his head snapped up remembering the evidence that he saw this morning. With a heave, he brought himself up to standing and rushed into the bedroom seeing clothes all over and one of his bag’s missing. Quick eyes clocked that his clothes were on the ground but most of Lou’s clothes were… missing. Fear shattered through him and he picked up his pace. “Lou?!” he called into the empty air running into the hallway. ‘She’s not here’ his shadows whispered to him which made him even more frantic. All of his insecurities coming to the forefront as he ran down the stairs taking two at a time, practically falling down. His gaze locked onto the dining room, taking in all of the dishes prepared with his favorite foods. He could practically feel his heart drop into the pits of his stomach. Dinner. He fucking forgot dinner. She made him… all of his favorite foods for dinner. The pieces were slowly falling together as Azriel crumpled to his knees, not being able to hold up his body any longer. “Find her,” he choked out to his shadows watching half of them scatter into cracks and crevices leaving him feel even more exposed and vulnerable than he was before.

Lou wasn’t able to sleep last night at all, emotions running through her like a river to an ocean. Anger, sadness, disappointment, anxiety, and guilt for leaving. She absently stirred the untouched tea that she made an hour ago as she gazed out the window that looked out to the forest that surrounded the safehouse cabin Azriel had shown her when they first started courting. He told her to come whenever she needed to get away or was in danger and she definitely needed some space to think… right? A frantic banging on the door caught her by surprise and she carefully walked over to the door peeking out to see Azriel heaving out heavy breaths looking as though he had run there.

Lou took a steady breath taking in the sight of him. Unkempt, hair every which way as if he had been constantly running his fingers through it, his shirt on backwards and two different socks. He was beautiful. “Hello.” She said evenly and Azriel could have cried at the sound of her voice. He swallowed deeply his mind racing wondering where to even begin, “I’m sorry.” He blurted out unable to restrain himself. “I’m so, so sorry Lou.” He panted trying to catch his breath. “For what?” she asked feeling a bit petty for making it lay out his wrongs. His eyes were bouncing back and forth between hers unable to keep still for even a moment. “Missing dinner. Missing the dinner. I’m sorry my love, I should have been there. It was a hard mission and I needed to blow off steam, but I should have talked to you first. I- I made a mistake please don’t leave me. I need you. I need you like I need to breathe please.”

Lou didn’t say anything as her eyes took in his distraught appearance, she merely stepped aside to let him in. Not going to miss an opportunity, Azriel quickly took the invitation and kicked off his boots as Lou shut the door behind him. She started walking to the couch, Azriel following behind her like a kicked puppy. He sat a few feet away from her, trying to respect her space. Lou resented that distance and scooted a bit closer before turning to him. “Az. I know you didn’t know that it was the dinner but… it’s been six months exactly and I put so much effort into the night and when you came home drunk I just… I felt so small and unseen and I’ve never felt like that with you. That’s why I needed some space, I’m not leaving you I just needed some perspective, I guess. I love you and I wanted last night to be special, I was just really disappointed, that’s all.” With every word Azriel’s heart broke more and more. Along with it, his resolve to fix it steeled like the warrior he was. “I will make this up to you I promise. I will never make you feel that way again. You deserve better than that and I’ll give it to you I promise. I love you and I’ll show you.” With that he took her hand and led her to the kitchen. His thumb anxiously trailed over her knuckles before he gently grabbed her waist with both hands, hoisting her up onto the counter. “Az-“ she began before he cut her off “Wait please let me just. Please let me just try to start making it up to you. I don’t care how long it takes, I’m not losing you.”

Her heart ached with longing and a bit of pain for the male, “Azriel. You won’t lose me.” “I know. And this will ensure it.” He replied as he quickly began preparing her favorite food. After a long silence with only the sounds of Azriel’s cooking filling the space, he served her food on a plate. “I know this isn’t how it’s usually done, but I love you and I want you to know that even if you never accepted the mating bond you would have me for life, beautiful.” A hand caressed her jaw gently, a calloused thumb swiping across her soft cheek. She looked at him with love a burning in her eyes and kept them locked on him as she took a bite. His breath stuttered and his restraint was waning. “Of course, I forgive you. I love you.” She swirled the pasta around her fork before lifting it up to his lips slowly, “Do you forgive me for leaving? I promise next time I’m upset I will stay and talk it out. I won’t leave again.” The sigh of relief that came from Azriel could be felt by all of the animals in the surrounding forest. He stepped in between her legs before closing his lips around the fork, keeping his eyes trained on hers the entire time. The bond felt like it was missing a puzzle piece and it was just found the final one. The urge to take her to the bedroom was insurmountable and Lou could see the need on his face. With a small smile she leaned in and muttered against his lips, “kiss me Az.” And he did.

[britt-kageryuu]

Leo in another bout(bought?) of boredom, is streaming from the clinic again. His model dressed in galaxy print scrubs, blue crocs, lab coat with some random pins on the pocket, and his Bandana with the tails tied up to not get in the way.

The camera is following him as he moves about the reception area. Rambling off about different topics, every now and then answering a question sent in by the audience and chat.

A graphic of a cartoony Aligator Snapping Turtle swims past dragging a banner that Thanks 'Chompy' for $5 with a message 'You changed how you did things awhile ago, while it was subtle I still want to know why did you change?'

Leo pauses to stare right into the camera, like his brain stopped working, or was overworking itself to word the answer.

"Okay, so I didn't really think anyone had truly noticed. Not to say you guys are oblivious, just I didn't think I would have to explain this." He shifts while looking around the room, "So to those who might've not been here then, or watched the VODs... I originally went into this VTuber stuff as a BFE type. And for those who don't know what that means, Boy Friend Experience."

Leo takes a deep breath before continuing, "See, I didn't know what I was going to do for this, so I kinda copied the BFE type that I saw clips of, so flirting with the audience, pretending to be in love with the audience... that kind of thing. Then I got an actual crush, who became my boyfriend and it just felt awkward to keep that up." He walks over to his desk while talking, and sat down, "So I shifted my way of talking to you guys, and from there just left the flirty tone to when I'm around Thumper. Much to my siblings annoyance."

He lets out a laugh while shaking his head. "Though my usual way of talking is crafted to make you feel relaxed, less tense, and get people to listen to what I want to tell them." Leo gives the camera a smirk, "I used to call myself the 'Face Man' of the group, so I always tried to be a smooth talker, right up until I put my foot in my mouth, and told my Boyfriend I thought he dyed his hair... his hair is naturally white. I didn't believe him. I still don't get how I convinced him to date me!"

Leo has slumped in his chair with embarrassment, he looked about ready to fall out of his chair when the sound of a door opening could be heard. He sits up and faces the door. He mutes the camera mic, but not his.

"Hello, what can I do for ya today?" Pause to listen to who ever entered, "Okay, let me check." He grabs the work tablet and checks for something, "Well you're in luck. There's no one scheduled for the next few hours. So let's get you checked in. Oh give me a minute." Leo pulls out his phone to see if there's anyone to take over the stream, or if not what he should put on for the stream to watch.

"Hmm? Oh yeah... the schedule is very empty, and no one else was scheduled to work today, so I was live streaming... nothing really." The notification on his phone goes off. "And the stream will be watching a few meme compilations. So to the veiwers, enjoy the memes, and I'll be back in a bit!"

The stream cuts to a meme compilation of clips from different VTurtles! VODs and some from the Discord and Social Media. With a BRB sign propped up by River.

-----------------

Masterpost

Not much to say other than, no patient trying to sneak into the stream this time.

[fluffallamaful]

https://twitter.com/updatingdtqk/status/1614097744750333952?t=LMYjGDa-HhIzoG97o1540Q&s=19

Idk if you saw this but both him and George tried to scare him like that this stream and it got me thinking. I see Sapnap as a man of revenge so despite neither scares working he still wants some revenge, so later he makes sure Dream is in his room before finding George and tossing him over his shoulder. If George squirms too much for his liking he gives a warning squeeze to his thigh. Soon he enters Dream’s room, locking the door behind him, Dream immediately knows what's happening when George is pressed onto the floor by a hand on his chest. Dream debates making a run for the door but he quickly decides that he won't get the door unlocked in time so he opts to backing up as far as he can on his bed, hoping Sapnap will just focus on George. Much to Dream’s "dismay" Sapnap catches his ankle, yanking him to the floor right next to George with the same firm hand to his chest. "You both know what's coming now, I know you do. But the question is do you know why?" George nods, Dream shakes his head no. "We'll start with you then, since you know what you'll be apologizing for" He tells Dream to not move from his position and turns his full attention to George, forcing Dream to watch as he wrecks George’s stubborn ass until he apologizes, Sapnap asks for what so Dream knows, he says for trying to scare him, Sapnap stays to sooth him for a bit before turning to Dream, "Your turn Smiley~"

I'm very passionate about this one lmao

link

thank you for being so patient with me sleepy!!! and yes i absolutely saw this clip they���re so adorable :(( like i love imagining them scheming the pranks they’re so incredibly cute omfg

the idea of dream/george having to watch george/dream get tickled before receiving their own tickles is unbelievably adorable and one of my favourite tropes in general, but especially with them 🫠

(more below)

🦙🦙🦙…

they just get so entranced with each other right? like i can imagine them both being caught up in watching the other get tickled silly, that they forget that they too had scared sapnap? i can even imagine them teasing the other (particularly george when it’s dream’s turn)

the “You know what’s coming?” line is so cute 😖 like pointing out that whoever is going second has just watched exactly what’s going to happen to them. it’d be cute if sap makes a big deal out of this, like fake pondering about where he tickled the other to make sure he tickles the second one in the same places. literally both dream and george would be so damn adorable in this position omfg. like i hardcore hc george to hate when sap points out how obvious he’s being (especially when it comes to being obvious about doting over dream), and also hardcore hc dream to be awful with anticipation 🙌🏼 so therefore i hc that both the poor babies would just get so flustered in the tummy if they were the second ones to go 🥰

🦙🦙🦙…

[writingpaperghost]

Without You (Chapter 14)

Chapter 14: Rules Revised! The Power of Two!

Enter, Kamen Rider Revi and… Vice?

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/43371954/chapters/123198331

“Oh Hana! I have a gift for you!” Sakura’s voice awakens Hana from her sleep. She still felt somewhat tired from the night before, but given Sakura wanted her attention, she supposed she’d have to give it to her. She pulls herself up, looking over at where Sakura stood, standing in front of the closest.

In Sakura hands is a lot of red fabric, some black in there, with some white fuzzy looking parts. “Sakura…? What’s that?”

Sakura still smiles, setting the clothing down on the end of the bed, “I figured, if you were going to be my queen proper, well, Aguilera should look it. I designed outfits for my brothers and I, so it’s only fair I did one for you too.”

“…Really?” Hana hadn’t expected something like that. She was no stranger to Sakura’s designs, but something like this.

“Yes, with some makeup I’m sure your own brothers will barely recognize you, if at all.” As Sakura speaks, Hana rubs the sleep from her eyes. To think, it was morning already.

“But Makoto and Tamaki already know I’m Aguilera.”

Nodding, Sakura agreed, “True, but according to Dai… well, good boy Tamaki kept that detail out of his report. As far as Fenix is concerned, I held you hostage and then Aguilera came to help me fight your brothers, and we took off with you.”

Why wouldn’t Tamaki tell Fenix she was Aguilera? Was he seriously trying to protect her from Fenix? Why didn’t Makoto say anything, surely he thought it was stupid? Well, maybe it was for the best. She didn’t want to hurt her parents or Hikaru more than necessary.

“Huh, well… I guess you want me to try it on.” She pulls the covers off, stretching. Sakura watched, still smiling. She was very happy today, it seemed.

“Well, there’s that, yes, but also… I was hoping to introduce the Deadmans to you properly, as my queen.��� She explained.

“Introduce properly?” Hana echoed, “How so?”

Sakura helped her out of bed, then set about helping her change, even though Hana needed little help. Perhaps she’d need it for what Sakura had made, she’d know better than Hana. “A livestream, of course, for our followers to see. Or those who don’t follow us. I’m sure Fenix does their best to monitor our livestreams.”

The idea of being seen by all those people was a little frightening, but most of all, Hana found it exciting. Would they see her with even half the adoration that they saw Sakura and her brothers with? Would they view Aguilera as an outsider, or welcome her? Would being Jeanne’s queen be enough, or would she have to prove herself worthy of that title, in the eye of the followers?

---

“Makoto, look at this.” Tamaki shoved his phone towards Makoto that morning. Their parents were elsewhere, Genta trying to film some video or other, Yukimi cooking breakfast. On Tamaki’s phone stream appeared to be a Deadman livestream.

Makoto tilted his head, “So?”

“Just… I thought I saw back there-“

He’s interrupted by Jeanne’s voice coming out of the phone speaker. She sounded as confident as ever. “It’s good to see you all again, and my do I have a surprise for all of you. Someone very special I’d like to introduce.”

Then out comes Hana – it takes Makoto a minute to recognize her, she’s all dressed up. A red dress with short off the shoulder sleeves, something that closely resembled her fuzz connected to a transparent cape that looked like bee wings, flower hair clips in her hair, make up done up more than she would have normally done.

“This,” Jeanne continued, “is my lovely queen, Aguilera.” She pulled Hana closer, an arm around her waist. “I expect all of you to treat her with the same respect you do my brothers and I, or else there will be… consequences.” Hana casted a curious if a bit concerned glance at Jeanne, who seemed not to pay it any mind.

Frowning, Makoto said, “I guess she wants to show her off, now.”

“I hate it,” Tamaki said, scowling, clearly irritated. “She doesn’t have the right to do that, to parade Hana around like that.”

Shushing him, Makoto responded, “Quieter. But there’s not much we can do about it right now. Besides, it doesn’t look like she seems to mind much.”

Tamaki’s scowl didn’t fade, not in the slightest. The Deadmans’ livestream continued to play from his phone, until he closed it, a growl in his throat. He obviously wasn’t taking this all well, not that Makoto blamed him, or anyone else.

Hana was important to them, so having her taken by the Deadmans – having her fight against them – it hurt. And their parents had already lost three children, the possibility of losing another was not welcomed. Hikaru had no other friends and… Tamaki was, well, Tamaki. He’d always wanted to keep Hana safe.

They’d figure out how to bring Hana back. It would just take time. That’s what Makoto would keep telling himself. Even if it wasn’t true, lies would make him feel better.

He did worry about Tamaki, though. That anger… he didn’t want Tamaki doing something he’d regret because of it. Especially in a matter as delicate as what was going on with Hana – one wrong move and Fenix might figure out, or far worse, their parents learn. Nothing would hurt their parents more, save for Hana dying, probably. But beyond that… Tamaki obviously wasn’t thinking straight, and it could really cause trouble. Cause him to act more recklessly, possibly get him hurt.

All Makoto could do is try his damn hardest to keep his family in one peace.

---

There was… something about Aguilera that struck Hikaru as sickeningly familiar. He didn’t normally watch the livestreams, there was no reason to, but as he hid away in his room, it seemed like all he could do. The only way to search for some hint that Hana was okay, or maybe some clue as to where she’d been taken (unrealistic, but at this point, he couldn’t care).

Anything to soothe the aching in his chest, the horrible, empty cold that was left behind when Hana was taken. There were so many things he wished he’d done or said or anything to make it hurt less. He wished he could have protected her, he wished he could have just come clean about his feelings and told her the truth, even if she’d have rejected him. But he hadn’t, and now he was forced to sit here in a cruel facsimile of a home and watch a dumb Deadman livestream for some grain of hope.

And Aguilera, he found, felt strangely, horribly, familiar. Like cooking the same recipe as someone else, but you added something to make it taste different. It’s so similar to the recipe, to what the other person made, but still different, enough that it can be noticed but is still unmistakably the recipe you used. Aguilera was like that, like someone took something so familiar but changed it ever so slightly. Pulled back the hair some, covered the face it bold make up, dressed her in the clothes of a queen like Jeanne claimed her to be.

Aguilera was like some painful duplicate of Hana, but made to what Jeanne wanted in a queen. Made to be so much more pretty, made to be elegant and to be happy to hang off of Jeanne’s arm. She smiled and laughed and kept close to Jeanne, acting both coy and friendly and yet wasn’t really either.

Except, Hikaru knew that Aguilera had appeared, with one of Karizaki’s Driver and the Bee Vistamp, before this. Before Jeanne took Hana. So why did she look hauntingly like Hana?

Was it his own mind playing a trick on him? Wanting so desperately for Hana, for something to make him feel better, that it imagined the similarities between Aguilera and Hana? Or was it a coincidence? If it was a coincidence, why did Aguilera even act and sound so much like Hana, if admittedly a bit different?

Maybe it was all just a cruel joke. That’s what Hikaru’s life felt like, at this point, so who was to say that Aguilera wasn’t apart of that. Just another way to make him feel worse, to make him more miserable.

Despite that pain and confusion, Hikaru watches the livestream to its completion. The whole time, he couldn’t help but stare at Aguilera, like she might give some clue, something to ease his confused and aching heart. There was nothing, of course, and when it ended, he had more questions than he’d had at the start and no more answers than before.

Hikaru pulled himself from his tangle of blankets on his bed. He didn’t feel any better than he’d had when he’d first woke up, or even the day before, but as tempted as he was to stay in bed all day, he figured he should at least eat something when he at least thought he had the energy for it.

Catching his reflection in his mirror, he can’t help but think he looks terrible. Even though he’d slept plenty, he still looked tired, and his disheveled appearance combined with the fact he hadn’t changed clothes the night before made him look just… pathetic. Then again, he pretty much was, he didn’t even have something he could do to help Weekend, with Hana gone. Not that he really cared about Weekend.

Still, he forced himself to change and attempt to make his hair a bit less of a mess. Then he trudged out of his room, finding the house unsurprisingly empty. Most likely, his parents weren’t really gone, just in the basement – Weekend’s base. Hikaru never really understood why it was there, of all places. Why make the main entrance in just… some random house? Sure, it was probably good for security but… it still seemed strange.

Not that Hikaru’s opinion mattered, nor would he likely ever get any real answer.

He pulled some lunch meat from the fridge and got some bread, making himself a sandwich. It was thoroughly unappealing, but he forced himself to eat it. If Hana found out he wasn’t eating and especially if the reason was in anyway connected to her, she’d be pissed. So he’d eat, even if he really, really didn’t care to.

With food begrudgingly eaten, though, Hikaru was left unsure of what to do next. He could go back to his room and be miserable, that was entirely an option. Or… he could go out. Try to walk or something and see if the fresh air might help him get his mind off things.

Before he can give it much more thought, he’s pulling his shoes on and out the door. He allows his feet to take him wherever they decided best, quickly finding a familiar path. Soon enough, he arrives in front at a flower shop Hana always liked to go to, mostly to see the flowers and to get an idea of what she wanted to add to her flowerbox at home – speaking of, he hoped someone would water her flowers for her, she’d be upset to come home to find them dead.

He looks at the flowers. They remind him of her. She always had the urge to stick her face in them, and Hikaru always had to stop her. He’d always wondered if whoever named her was prophetic, or if it was just a coincidence that she would love flowers so much. Some of it had certainly come from the fact that she was, at times, so bee-like.

Standing in front of iris flowers, Hikaru recalled clearly that Hana had, more than once, declared these flowers her favorite. He always thought that, if he were to ever confess to her and take her out on a date, he’d get her some. It was far too late for that, now. Still, they reminded him of her the most, and since he was here…

His room could use some life.

Alongside the irises, he gets some daffodils, zinnias, and carnations, he thinks that they’ll go nice together, though he has nothing more to base that on than his own intuition. At the very least, they’ll be something nice for his bedroom.

Hana had given him flowers before, but these were different. He was getting these because they were the only flowers he could have, until Hana came home. They’d have to hold him over until then.

---

It was Revi again – Makoto hadn’t even really recovered from the fight with Hana the day before, he doubted that Tamaki had recovered from fighting Jeanne, so having Revi show up was… not ideal. But they had no choice but to try and fight him. Hopefully, since they’d have Mr. Kadota’s help this time, they would at least stand a chance. At least Revi wasn’t likely to hit any sore spots regarding Hana, which meant he wasn’t likely to set Tamaki off. Or at least, not more than he was already likely to be set off given his obvious simmering displeasure at recent events.

Revi was waiting for them, looking uneasy. There was a worried frown on his face, and he shifted, visibly wary and uncomfortable. Makoto wondered if this would go like last time, if Aguilera or someone else would swoop in to stop the fight.

They had better odds, this time, at least. Three on one, Makoto figured they might actually be able to defeat Revi, or at least come close.

Mr. Kadota takes the lead, Makoto and Tamaki standing behind and to the side of him. He called to Revi, “We’re here, I assume you were waiting on us.”

His words snap Revi out of his thoughts, who gives an awkward nod, “You know, I always wonder why they never send you more help. It wouldn’t do much but… it’s weird, you know? I guess it doesn’t matter.” He produced what appeared to be a Driver from his jacket pocket – Makoto recognized it as the one that Karizaki always had locked away. With a solemn expression, he said, “Today, I’m you’re opponent, and not as a monster.”

Placing the Driver on his waist, Revi activated the T-Rex Vistamp, his expression unchanging. He pressed the Vistamp against the Driver, then turned it to the side. Something resembling a phone appeared behind him, presenting a conversation in the form of text messages.

Let’s see how this goes…

It’ll be great! We’ll be so much stronger!

I guess you would be excited about that. It is what it is.

Cheer up! No need to be so glum.

You and I both know I don’t want to do this.

…

From his feet, that demon, Vice, emerged like a shadow, hovering into the sky and holding a stamp. He brings it down around Revi, and armor appears. It, like the Driver he had, was light pink and blue, the helmet having sharp teeth. Beside him, the demon lands, gaining armor too, in the in the form of primarily a chest piece and a hood around his head.

That was a surprise – and judging by Revi and Vice’s reactions, they hadn’t been expecting that either. Revi peered curiously over to Vice, for a moment, before sighing. “Let’s get on with this.”

Vice cheered, “Two on three, that’s a lot better odds for us, right?” He cheekily elbows Revi, “Not that we need better odds. We’re the strongest buddies!”

Revi stepped towards the three, “Speak for yourself.” Then he ran at them.

Mr. Kadota is quick to transform, Makoto and Tamaki following suit. Though Mr. Kadota managed to block Revi’s attack, it was obvious that Revi was stronger now, by how it seemed to push back on him.

“Don’t forget about me!” Vice ran towards them, Makoto blocking his attack with his weapon.

“With how noisy it is, it would be hard to.” Now was not the time for that thought, Makoto shoves it to the side without a second thought. He had to focus on the fight.

A punch to Revi sends him back, enough to give Mr. Kadota the opportunity to call out, “You two deal with the demon, I’ll handle Revi.”

Tamaki took that as his cue to launch himself at Vice, punching him. Makoto disagreed with Mr. Kadota’s decision – whatever assessment he made, if it made him think he could take on Revi on his own, especially now that Revi had the power of being a Rider on his side, then it was sorely wrong. Unless, of course, he was trying to protect the two of them by keeping them from fighting Revi, who certainly seemed to be more of a threat than Vice.

As a matter of fact, Makoto thinks that Tamaki can handle Vice perfectly well on his own. And it was already evident that Mr. Kadota was outmatched against Revi. “Stupid self-sacrificing dumbass…” In that moment, Makoto made a decision that Mr. Kadota would probably not be the most pleased with, though he frankly didn’t care. Pivoting, Makoto lunged towards Revi, swinging his weapon with such force he’d fully thrown himself off balance.

Despite crashing to the ground, he did hit Revi and it was enough to stun him, for a moment, which was enough for Makoto to get to his feet again. The action had been split second and not thought out nearly as well as Makoto would have liked, but in a fight he found he didn’t usually have that kind of time.

“Makoto! What are you doing?” Mr. Kadota took a place beside him, but it was obvious in his tone he didn’t like that Makoto had gone and joined the fight against Revi.

Huffing, already out of breath, Makoto replied through gritted teeth, “I’m helping.” He was holding back his real thoughts on Mr. Kadota’s initial plans, on the grounds of it being a bit more rude than he was willing to be to someone who was so nice to Tamaki. At the moment, at least.

“I told you and Tamaki to fight Vice together.”

A glance over at Tamaki and Vice shows that Tamaki is faring perfectly well against Vice. “He doesn’t need the help.” Makoto responded blankly, “But you probably do. So I’m helping.” The ‘suck it up and deal with it’ was left fully unsaid, as again, that was more rude than Makoto was willing to be at this exact moment. Although he was approaching that threshold.

He expected Mr. Kadota to argue more, but instead he sighs, “Fine, just be careful.”

“Of course,” There was no need to tell him twice.

Two on one, they stood better odds to be able to at least fight Revi off, even with Makoto still recovering from fighting Hana the day before. Certainly, though, Makoto would believe Revi to be the oldest of the Deadmans’ leaders. He certainly fought like he had more experience, though Makoto’s own experience in such matters was severely lacking.

Still, between him and Mr. Kadota, they might have a chance, and at this point, all they could really hope to do in most fights was chase Revi, or whoever they were fighting, off. They still didn’t stand much chance at actually defeating Revi, Evil, Jeanne, or Aguilera, but chasing them off and keeping them from causing anymore trouble was good enough. Though…

Usually, they never targeted anyone other than Fenix or a Rider. Only when a demon was present – a demon other than Vice, it seemed – did they have to worry about civilians. For one reason or another… they didn’t want anyone else getting hurt, and Makoto was still trying very hard to wrap his head around that.

For the leaders of a group that wanted to wake up a slumbering demon, it was very strange that they tried so hard to keep people from getting hurt. Chances were, when Giff woke up, it wouldn’t matter much, so why bother trying at all?

---

It was pure luck that Hikaru was anywhere near where Revi appeared. And it wasn’t even in an empty area. The moment anyone realized who he was, everyone hurried to run away, to get somewhere safe. Hikaru knew, thanks to Weekend, that it was unlikely Revi would attack anyone, and there didn’t appear to be a demon present to worry about actually attacking people.

Still, it was understandable people would run, and it would certainly be better not to have anyone around when Fenix’s Riders inevitably arrived and fought Revi. Especially if that demon that was sometimes with him showed up. So people ran, and Hikaru watched, unsure just what he wanted to do.

There were so many people who became fearful in these moments, who wanted nothing more than to be safe. To not be caught up in a fight, to not be injured, or worse, killed. Weekend, of course, did little in the moment to prevent such things. They left it to Fenix, who often just… didn’t do enough, and they knew it.

No, Weekend only ever swooped in after the tragedy had struck, to try to pick up the pieces, even if the pieces weren’t theirs to pick up.

Mommy and daddy were bleeding. Hikaru didn’t think that they were supposed to be bleeding that much, that must be bad. The concrete was supposed to be light grey; he’d seen the same concrete many times before. But underneath mommy and daddy, the concrete was dark, there was too much red. There was a monster, the monster hurt them.

He'd hid, like mommy and daddy had said to, and now with the monster gone, he wanted to find them. And they were bleeding and that was bad. He hurried over, shaking.

“Mommy? Daddy?” He doesn’t think when he goes to shake them, doesn’t understand why they don’t quite feel right, why they won’t wake up. “M-mommy? D-daddy? I- I want to go h-home…”

His parents became blurry, his eyes welling up with tears. They wouldn’t wake up. His parents wouldn’t wake up and that was bad. He was powerless to make them wake up.

They weren’t breathing.

Hikaru’s parents were dead.

And then there were these other people. The rest was a blur, but they were… strange. He didn’t understand what the weekend had to do with anything, or where they were taking him, but they promised he’d be safe, and they’d take care of him. His parents were dead. He didn’t know what else to do but follow along.

Now he had new parents, but he might as well have had none still.

The thing Hikaru hated most about Weekend, was that they acted like coming in late was them being saviors. Like they’d saved Hikaru. But in his eyes, all they’d done was doomed him to being just a cog in their machine, one that he didn’t even know the grander machinations of.

Maybe some of it was his fault, for going along with it all. At the end of the day, though, it didn’t change that they never saved anyone. They always came in after the damage was done.

There was a child, he spies, and they’re alone, crying.

Hikaru decided, then, that he wouldn’t just be apart of Weekend’s grand plan – at the very least, he wasn’t going to stand around when people might be in danger. He’d make sure people were safe, even if it meant putting himself in danger. And maybe, just maybe, he could make himself into a better person for when Hana returned.

Mind made up, Hikaru dashed to the child, determined to find their parents and make sure they stay safe.

---

As soon as Revi and Vice left, Makoto was overcome with relief. Thank goodness, a moment of respite, before he’d have to go back to Happy Spa and everything there. Of course, the fight being over also meant he was left to deal with Mr. Kadota, who he suspected wasn’t entirely pleased about him joining in fighting Revi.

“Makoto,” Sure enough, Mr. Kadota began by saying his name with just a hint of irritation. “I told you to fight Vice with Tamaki.”

Makoto let out quite the sigh, before turning towards Mr. Kadota. “Sorry, I’m not one of your soldiers,” he said, “and I’ve never been very good at group projects.”

“This hadn’t been a problem before.”

“Well before, you…” Makoto searched for the politest way to phrase his thoughts. He figured ‘hadn’t done something incredibly dumb and reckless’ wasn’t the best way of saying it. “hadn’t decided you could totally fight someone you definitely couldn’t fight on your own.” That would have to be good enough.

Tamaki, judging by his expression, clearly did not want to weigh in on this debate, but Makoto suspected that he felt similarly. He certainly didn’t protest Makoto’s actions and had very much been able to handle Vice on his own, even still somewhat beat up from fighting Jeanne the day before.

Mr. Kadota still had something of a displeased expression, regardless of Makoto’s reasoning. Thus, it was Makoto’s turn to sigh, “Mr. Kadota, I do think you need to have more faith in Tamaki and I’s capabilities. Or Tamaki’s, at least.” Especially since Hiromi had a hand in Tamaki’s training himself. “I can understand why you may be hesitant about mine.”

With a sigh, Mr. Kadota conceded, “I will keep that in mind in the future.”

“Wonderful. I’m going home, now, I am frankly exhausted. Tamaki, I will likely be asleep when you get home, and I will strangle you if you wake me up.”

Tamaki seemed a bit put off by that comment, but shrugged it off, “Right, right. I won’t wake you up.”

[slashmagpie]

Skizz is joining Hermitcraft in S10: A Conspiracy Theory

For people who saw the HermlympZITS stream and suddenly went "wait. is Skizz joining Hermitcraft?!" I present: a list of evidence some friends and I have slowly been gathering over the past year to support our theory that Skizz is joining in S10. We've been in full pepe silvia mode for a while now.

Evidence One: GIGS phasmo.

So this was one of the very first GIGS phasmo streams, from before they even had the GIGS name, and this clip was provided by Annie @/iconicanemone who pointed out the ending of it. ("I can't wait to hotguy you, Skizz... almost spoiled something.") We considered for a while that it might be referring to the upcoming Limited Life, since that had just been announced at the time, but we weren't 100% convinced. Hotguy was, at the time, more of a Hermitcraft bit than a general Scar bit, and in Double Life, which had also come out post-the creation of Hotguy (hey guys S9 is so fucking long), it hadn't made any appearances. Scar talking about hotguying Skizz, and then cutting himself off for fear of spoiling something?

They had to be talking about Hermitcraft, right?

Evidence Two: Xisuma's Youtube Shorts.

Midway through S9, Xisuma started making youtube shorts where he asked the hermits to answer as many questions incorrectly in 45 seconds as they could. The videos are pretty fun, but very quickly there was one question that stood out to us: "Who will be next to join Hermitcraft?" A question that would be useless if they had not, in fact, chosen who would be next to join Hermitcraft, because if they didn't know then there wouldn't be a right or a wrong answer. So we know that by the point in the season that X started asking that question, they had chosen somebody to join in S10.

Enter Impulse.

"Who will be next to join Hermitcraft?" "Skizzleman. Oh dang it!"

Hey. Hey Impulse. Weird way to react to getting a question wrong in a game where that's your goal. But if, say, he'd accidentally gotten the question right...

I feel like I don't need to explain that one I feel like that's pretty cut and dry. Moving on.

Evidence Three: the Imp & Skizz Podcast

I will admit that this one is more conjecture than anything else but also. This is a conspiracy theory it's built on conjecture and our collective emotional instability. Let's talk about the Imp and Skizz podcast.

I will say that I tend to listen to the audio versions over the Youtube versions, so I don't have the nuance of facial expressions, and I would be willing to concede that I picked up the wrong vibe here, however: has anyone else noticed that Skizz gets suspiciously quiet when Hermitcraft comes up? Sure, I believe that it could very well be a sense of "this is Impulse's thing, not mine, let me keep my mouth shut and let him take the floor" but purely based on vibes it doesn't feel that way to me? It feels like Skizz is staying quiet so he doesn't accidentally say too much. Almost like he's got an invite to Hermitcraft--

And then, of course, there's Scar's episode.

"We get together with not only all of us from Hermitcraft, but we also have other people outside of the Hermitcraft bubble, that's really fun. When do we get to talk to Scott, or Jimmy, or Joel, or any of those guys?"

Hey it's funny how even when he's talking to Skizz, Scar doesn't list Skizz when he's rattling off the names of non-hermit life series members. He could have added "and you, Skizz" and that would be a really natural part of the conversation, but he. doesn't. And the specific phrasing of "all of us from Hermitcraft" also makes my conspiracy spidey-senses go off. It feels like he's including Skizz as a hermit in this conversation.

Almost like he's got an invite to Hermitcraft--

Evidence Four: Something Else Scar Said

Okay so while finding links for this post I also found this message I'd sent in discord a while back.

I have no idea what stream this would have been and so cannot track down a clip but I am submitting it to the court as evidence anyway because I am a sham.

Evidence Five: HermlympZITS Stream

I did not watch this stream and neither did any of my conspiracy friends afaik but it has been all over my dash for days. You all know. You've seen the clips. I can't be bothered to track them down. But they have tipped me over from "this is a fun trip into conspiracy but secretly I wouldn't be surprised if we're wrong" to "VINDICATION we win these hermit!Skizz CONFIRMED."

....So. Yeah. There's my conspiracy theory. Take my evidence, feel free to add your own. We can all lose our minds in this chillis tonight.

It's so funny seeing everyone get on the hermit!Skizz conspiracy theory train now when my friends and I have been knee-deep in this for like a year now.

[korasonata]

Just watched that clip of that crafting stream where Cleo’s making her bullet journal and they have that complete and utter breakdown over the JoeHillsSimp blog on Tumblr and Cleo was just like “someone’s going to clip this. That person that does the transcriptions of these is going to transcribe this.”

Firstly, I feel called out.

Secondly, you are absolutely right. Have a clip transcription.

(Wasn’t going to do a full one of these, but now that I’ve been called out I’ve just decided to embrace it ����)

—

[Cam: Cleo, I figure you might get a crack out of this, someone on Tumblr just referred to Joes appearance as a Wish Jesus.]

Cleo (laughing): Somebody just referred to Joe’s appearance as Wish Jesus!

Joe: …what?

Cleo: as in “Wish” from the discount clothing marketplace thing!

Joe: …We don’t have…a discount clothing marketplace called Wish.

Cleo: as in the Wish— the Wish website! *squealing* Wow! That’s harsh!

Joe (confused): …is it? I don’t— we don’t have that store here, so I don’t know.

Cleo: It’s— it’s— it’s one of the—erm…have you heard of— I’m trying to think of the other one…what’s the other— the other one? Allibaba…??

Joe: Uh, yeah it’s a, umm, uh—

Cleo: Shein! Shein! Aliexpress!

Joe: yeah yeah, I’ve heard of that.

Cleo: it’s in that form of it.

Joe: Wow that’s…remarkably downmarket.

Cleo: yeah! That’s why it’s funny!

Joe: …is that an accurate description?

Cleo: Uh…I mean, I can see why they would say that.

SILENCE…

Cleo: although if you wear a suit I don’t see you as a Wish Jesus. I see you as—I see you as—

Joe: I frequently wear a suit. I frequently wear a suit on these streams, just not on this one cause I don’t wanna get…stuff on it.

Cleo: *laughing*

Joe (giggling): What! You don’t wanna get paint on your fancy clothes!

Cleo: I don’t have fancy clothes, Joe.

Joe: …you don’t wanna get paint on my fancy clothes you’re borrowing then.

Cleo: Why would— oh…

SILENCE…

Cleo: …Maybe. Maybe.

—

Joe (reading chat): BlazeTheColdBananaBread says “I made a Tumblr post about Joe looking like wish Jesus yesterday who is this person”

Cleo: *cackling* Well, it’s from Tumblr so it’s probably you! Cause my other half trolls Tumblr.

[Cam: *presumably checking Tumblr username in question*]

Joe: Ok, so maybe the person saw your post there Blaze…but yeah I still don’t really understand entirely what “wish” is. So, it’s a cheap, downmarket clothing place?

Cleo: it’s a— you are a cheap Jesus. You are the poor man’s Jesus.

Joe: …well, I would think that Jesus argued that he was the poor man’s Jesus.

Cleo: *laughing* you’re the really poor man’s—

Joe: Like he wasn’t really there for the wealthy, umm. Like, I feel like there’s just some basic misunderstanding of his teachings at play here.

[Cam (entering Joe’s chat): Blaze, are you JoeHillsSimp cause…I have questions]

[Blaze (panicking): Alright it was nice hangin out with y’all I’ll see ya later! *leaves very quickly*]

[Cam: lmao]

Cleo: *still laughing about wish Jesus* ah, this is great.

Joe: No, you’re great.

Cleo (aside): Ok. So, I think what we’re gonna go for is—oh, I might put it to a vote to be honest. “Rocks!” *laughing* Oooo, I’d like a Northern lights display at some point.

Joe: Ooooo, Auroré!

[Cam (dying): Can’t breathe…]

Cleo (hasn’t seen chat yet): Yep. The Northern ones, the Southern ones can go hang, sorry.

Joe (singing to the tune of that’s amoré): Wheeeeeen magnetic energy hits the poles don’t you see! That’s Auroré!

Both (singing in harmony): That’s Auroré!

Cleo (finally reading chat): *bursts out laughing* I’m just looking at your chat, wow!

Joe: Why, what are they saying? *checking chat*

Cleo: Yeah. Um…*giggling* Cam is calling people out, is all I’m saying.

SILENCE

*sounds of Joe wheezing intensely*

—

*sounds of Cleo taking several deep breaths*

Joe: ok…ok…I’m fine…

Cleo: You’re not fine, I’m not fine. You know that, and I know that.

Joe: *giggling* Now my discord is like freaking out too! *squeaking*

Cleo: *giggling*

Joe: It’s— it’s still funny *cough laughing*

Cleo: *barely contained snickering*

—

Joe: There’s some sort of joke to somebody being like “you need to go and find Jesus” and the persons like “we have Jesus at home” and then Jesus at home is just me painting. *giggling*

Cleo (trying desperately to compose herself): Just— just Wish Jesus. (Failing horribly at composing herself) Ahh, this is the best! Ooo, fossils! Sorry, my chat is just coming up with some really good themes. Theme ideas that I definitely wanna use.

Joe: GraceWhenDear says “I could hear Joe laughing from my headphones across the room so I came to investigate!”

Cleo: *lost it*

—

Cleo: Ah yes, the Last Life pole breaking containment. Yeah, we’re not talking about that one on stream. I’ll tell Joe about that later.

Joe: …WaitWaitWaitWaitWaitWaitWait—!

—

Joe (some 10 minutes later): *still dying* Sorry, I’m still losing it over here. My cough is not gonna go away now for like 20 minutes. This is why I don’t laugh on stream! It’s really— *coughing*

Cleo: *giggling* (aside) I mean, I could do a Fallout theme.

Joe: Whaaaaaaat?

Cleo: Yeah! Fallout theme—

Joe: Cleo doing a Fallout theme? Unimaginable!

Cleo: Ok, you can shove right off at this point!

Joe (Mocking British accent): Right.

Cleo: And I didn’t— ooohhh! Don’t you get on to me just because my accent comes out when I’m pissed! Don’t you start on me! (Affectionate) Jerk.

—

*still laughing*

Joe (high pitched): NJs trying to find her inhaler!!

Cleo: *cackling*

Joe: And then yeah, Youtube, uh, over there is also “oh no, we have the giggle fits!”

[Blaze enters chat again]

Joe (squeaking): BlazeTheGoldBananaBread is back and says “Camron you’re not sorry”

Cleo: *lost it again* the question is *through giggles* is— is— is the Tumblr— is that Tumblr still active ?! Is the question, has it been deleted?! *wheezing*

Joe: I don’t know. *cough laughing* BlazeTheColdBananaBread is back though! *coughing fit continues*

[Blaze: I never left I just sat here dying]

*Joe and Cleo mutually dying in the background*

[howlingday]

Jaune can’t help but find it a bit odd that his girlfriend Winter will only allow him into her panties if he’s cosplaying as Captain America.

The Winter Hero

Jaune Arc was a man of principle. He was raised to be a gentleman; kind, generous, and sensitive to a woman's needs. His mother and sisters groomed him to be the perfect boyfriend for anyone lucky enough to have him.

Chocolate ice cream at 3 AM, even though all the stores are closed? Done before dawn.

Need some guy to stop stalking you? Jaune wasn't a man of violence, but he had his ways to deter creeps.

Need another girl for your sleepover? Not a problem, even though he got a few awkward glances from his sister's friends.

However, almost as soon as he left the nest, his first girlfriend was completely independent. Any offer to help was completely shut down. But this was to be expected from an officer of the Atlas military. Yes, Winter Schnee never made any requests to her boyfriend.

That is, until one Halloween night...

Jaune looked himself over in the mirror at his costume. His blue spandex bodysuit was slim, if not constricting. It featured a white letter "A" on his forehead with a pair of wings just behind his temples, a star in the center of his chest, and a design of red and white stripes over his abdominals and circling around the back. He looked down to the flat, metal disk shield that weighed about thirty pounds. Not all too heavy for him, but it still weighs down over time. Yes, he was the hero of life and liberty, Captain America!

He sighed and shook his head as he looked over his ridiculous outfit. When he asked about their plans for Halloween, Winter explained she already ordered his and that she intended to go to a costume party with him. He knew better than to question it, but did it have to be this superhero?

Jaune has read his fair share of comics, and when asked who his was, he would answer Batman. Unfortunately for him, though, Winter was a Marvel fan, so his favorite superhero would have to stick to the sshadows tonight.

A knock at the door interrupted his thoughts. Picking up the shield, he walked over to the door and opened it. The sight in front of him almost made him drop his shield.

On the other side of his apartment door stood a beautiful woman with snow white hair, cascading down over her shoulders like an avalanche. She wore a silver body-suit, reminiscent of the ones worn by special forces, that hugged all of her curves perfectly. Around her waist was a gray belt designed to look like it had multiple compartments.

"Is there something wrong, Jaune?" He blinked and gave a nervous chuckle. She looked him up and down and smiled. "I see your costume matches the measurements I provided."

"Uh, actually, it feels a little tight." Jaune replied, tugging at his collar. "I can breathe just fine, but-"

"Good." Winter turned around and began walking towards the stairs. "Let's go. It's time for the party."

"Uh, yeah, sure!" Jaune shut the door behind him and followed her. "I like your costume. Who are you supposed to be?" Being a gentleman, Jaune asked, since he was certain it would tie to her interests.

"Silver Sable." Winter replied without looking back. "Russian mercenary. Leader of the Wild Pack. First appearance in 'The Amazing Spider-Man Issue #265'."

"Oh, she sounds... intense." Being a man, Jaune's eyes wandered to her hips, where her ass lightly swayed with every step, leaving nothing to the imagination. His costume felt tighter.

At the party, Jaune struggled to keep his shield up. He had shifted between his arms twice since he started carrying it. He could set it down, but every time he did, Winter would find out. The first time, she lightly chastised him, saying, "I thought you were supposed to be a hero." The second, and last time, she hit harder, telling him, "You're supposed to be a hero. So be one." She knew one of Jaune's dreams was to be a hero, someone who helps others and can be looked up to with pride. He sighed as he looked over the crowd.

The costumes varied, but he recognized everyone as someone from Winter's command. Elm Ederne, a specialist of Atlas' Ace Operatives, was dressed as some kind of monk, she explained, and carried a set of drums on her waist. He thought she was a hippie at first, but was swiftly corrected. Their commanding officer, General James Ironwood, was luckier than Jaune and dressed up as Batman. Jaune was green with envy. Or he was when Councilman candidate Robyn Hill showed up, dressed as Orchid from Killer Instinct. He never played the game, but he recognized the costume from... research.

"Jaune," he looked to his left and saw Winter standing with her arms crossed, "do you want to leave?" Jaune blinked, but before he could say anything, she spoke first. "I know that look on your face. You're bored. If you wish to leave, I won't force you to stay."

"I'm fine," Jaune replied, "I'm just... reading the room." Winter sighed, leaning against the wall next to him. She had an annoyed look on her face. "Are you okay, Winter?"

"I'm fine." She replied without looking at him. Instead, she was looking at the attention Robyn was getting. With a scowl, she huffed under her breath. "Pigs."

"Svin'ya." Winter looked to Jaune, who was wearing a smile on his face. "Svin'ya is pig in Russian."

She chuckled at that, gracing her lips with a smile. Jaune liked making people smile. Well, maybe not make, but help smile. She leaned closer, forcing Jaune to shift his shield to his other arm. She held his arms and sighed. Jaune felt his suit grow even tighter.

"Do you want to leave?" Winter looked up to Jaune. With a smile, she replied.

"Yes."

Winter and Jaune arrived at her apartment door. The walk home was certainly brisk, but made warmer with their body heat combined as they held close on their trip, as well as Jaune holding the shield against the wind. She reached into her belt and clipped open one of the compartments and pulled out her keys. Jaune held the shield behind her, pretending to protect her from some evil or another.

As she opened the door, Jaune stepped away. "Good night, Winter."

Winter turned to face Jaune. "Won't you come in? After all, it's cold outside tonight."

"I'm sure I'll be fine." He replied with a red-cheek and -nose smile.

"At least warm before you go." Winter gestured for him to enter. "I couldn't bear to think of you becoming hypothermic because of me."

"Just another part of being a hero!" Jaune chuckled.

"Actually," Winter said, placing her chin between her index and thumb, "I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but your costume has an interesting feature."

"Feature?" A stray wind blew in, chilling Jaune where he stood. "On second thought, maybe staying a second to warm up wouldn't hurt." He stepped inside, setting his shield down by the coat rack inside. She shut the door behind him.

"I'm glad to see you've come to your senses." She stepped further into the apartment, Jaune following close behind.

He had been here twice, but the size always amazed him. It was at least three times the size of his, and included it's own washer and dryer set. It was only a balcony away from being considered a penthouse. With the click of a button, Winter summoned a fireplace from the darkness.

Following her to the couch, Jaune sat down next to Winter. She leaned closer to him then nuzzled against his chest. She leaned up, kissing him as he leaned down. She prodded tongue past his lips, and upon receiving invitation, grabbed him by the back of his head and pulled him into her. Their breathing became heavy as the two pulled themselves closer to the other, their make-out growing more intense by the second.

Pulling away, Jaune groaned. "Damn."

"Something wrong?"

"This costume's in the way." Jaune tugged at his collar,causing Winter to chuckle.

"No, it isn't." Before he could ask, Winter slipped to her knees, kneeling in front of Jaune's crotch. "I custom-ordered this, you know." She traced her middle finger from the couch up to his groin. "I needed to get," she dug into a flap he never noticed, "your exact," and she pulled down the zipper he never knew, "measurem- Ack!" Winter recoiled as she was slapped by Jaune's dick.

"You okay?" Jaune asked.

"I'm fine," Winter waved him off, "I just... got my measurements wrong." She eyed his penis with a critic's glare. It was larger than the average she suspected, possibly six-and-a-half, if not seven inches in length, with a girth that made making her index and thumb have difficulty meeting. "But I'll adapt."

Before Jaune could say anything, Winter wrapped her lips around Jaune's head, tracing over it with her tongue. He lightly gasped as she pumped his shaft and she moved her head in a rhythm up and down his cock.

"F-Fuck!" Jaune grunted. "I'm gonna-!"

Winter pulled away and pumped with more vigor. With a moan, Jaune came a thin rope onto Winter's costume, a stream of white oozing onto her hands. She turned around, looking back to Jaune.

He squinted for a moment, then took notice of the zipper at the top of her back. He reached forward and pulled down. The costume came splitting in half as he dragged the tab closer to it's destination. As he reached the end, Winter stood up.

"Jaune," he couldn't see, but she looked at him with a sort of predatory gaze, as if he were a breathing meal for her to devour, "do you want to keep going?" With a gulp, he answered.

"Uh, I don't have any condoms."

"No?" She chuckled. "Check your shield." Jaune stood up and walked over to the hat rack where he placed his shield, his now flaccid cock swaying in the air with every step. Felling around, he noticed a hatch near the center, behind the handle. With a click, it opened and he found box of condoms. He couldn't see the brand, but the box felt small. That was fine, though, since he wasn't expecting to burn through ten or so condoms tonight. "Did you find them?" Winter called out.

"Yeah, they were behind the han-duuuuuh..." Jaune's jaw dropped at the sight in front of him. Bathed in firelight, Winter removed her soiled costume and laid back against the couch, her legs spread, her hair wild, and her eyes hungry. She became instantly erect.

"Then come here, my hero."

Winter moaned loudly as Jaune thrusted himself into her from behind. Every movement forward by him drove her further over the edge. This may have been their first time, but Jaune was clearly experienced. Some way, somehow, this man had a lover before her, and they perfected him into the breeding bull slamming into her.

With a grunt, Jaune came into the condom and pulled out. He huffed as he removed the rubber from his semi-stiff staff. Winter whirled around and slurped on his phallus until he was nice and hard again. Once he put the next condom on, she pushed him onto his back, then slipped him inside.

She bounced up and down his rod as she moaned and gasped. Jaune tried to match her pace with his thrusts, but she was moving too fast for him. He panted as she rode him like it was a rodeo. He settled his hand on her hips and took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, she was above him, her hair acting as a white veil to hide themselves from the world. Her mouth split to a predatory grin.

"You like it?" She growled.

"Y-Yeah!" He grunted.

"You like it?" She repeated.

"Yeah!" He whined.

"You want me?" She leaned closer, slowing her pace.

"Y-Yes!" He panted. She leaned next to his ear.

"Then take me."

Jaune flipped Winter onto her back and held her legs above her in a mating press. She screamed as Jaune pounded with greater vigor into her, grunting as he did so.

"Fuck me!" She shrieked as she held her ankles. "Fuck me! Fuck me! Fuck meeeeeee!"

With a grunt, Jaune came again, panting hard. He pulled out, pulling the condom out with him. He removed the prophylactic the his cock, setting it down next to it's seven siblings.

Eight condoms. The couple's box held eight condoms. With eight used condoms, Jaune sighed as the night's activities drew to a close.

SHUP!

Jaune looked down to see Winter bobbing her head up and down his shaft again. He groaned and pulled her off. With a sigh, he told the truth. "I can't anymore."

"No?" She tilted her head to the side.

"No." He stepped away and gestured to the condoms. "We went through a whole box, it's only a few hours until dawn, and I... I don't think I can do it again."

"I see." She said looking down. She almost looked sad.

"It's nothing against you, but I don't think I can do a round nine like this, condom or no condom."

"Like this?" She tugged on his bodysuit, now soaked in sweat and, in the lower region, genital fluids. "With the suit?"

"Yeah."

"Well, in that case," she reached behind Jaune and pulled down his back zipper, "here." She tugged on his sleeves and helped him out, peeling the it free from his skin. He shivered as the cold air rolled over his bare skin for the first time all night. She stepped free of the suit and sat down.

"That's much better." Winter was about to walk away, but felt him grab her hand. "We're not gonna cuddle?"

She smiled and sat down next to him. They embraced for a moment, then felt him pull her down, so they were laying on the couch. His body felt hot; clearly from the body heat trapped by his suit.

Winter closed her eyes, momentarily thinking about fucking her favorite superhero, Captain America, until she slipped into her dream where she was held in the loving embrace of her hero, Jaune Arc.

[basilly]

reacting to y/n’s many many plants || irl!multiple x reader (separately)

. request:  Could I request a few reactions from anyone of the dream SMP when they enter y/n’s home and they’re bombarded with the view of houseplants? And y/n starts spurting facts about each plant and by the end of their stay y/n gives them a cutting(*) of their favorite plant. Maybe really fluffy if possible?

. yes! i included: ranboo & tommy(i went off of who you picked last time :3 and though they’d be funny with plants)

. pronouns: they/them

Ranboo:

. poor ranboo just wanted to come over for movie night-

. even though he is tall, he felt like he was swallowed by this mini jungle of plants

“y/n?” “Come in! sorry I have a couple plants” “Righttt, a couple..”

.  ranboo was very curious though, and started asking about some plants

“What’s this one?” He pointed towards a tall leafy plant with teardrop leaves and white pear-shaped flowers. “Oh! that’s a peace lily, also known as the Spathiphyllum. They’re actually quite the easy houseplant! They need lots of water, so you don’t need to worry about over- watering. If you put it near the window and give it enough sunlight, these beautiful white flowers bloom.” “oh- thanks” “Sorry! That was a lot of plant information!” “No no no it’s fine- its all interesting, really”

. throughout the day, you noticed ranboo taking a couple more glances at your Peace Lily

“ranboo do you want a clipping? You can take it home and grow your own?” “Really? You don’t have to if its too difficult-” “Here, watch”

. soon enough you sent him on his way with his own clipping

once he has the plant for a couple weeks-

. shows it off on stream w/ face cam streams

“guys look- y/n gave me this and I’ve growing it for a couple weeks now, and i gotta say, I’m not doing that bad”

. super scared to kill it, asks you constantly if anything out of the ordinary happens 

“Y/n- it has these white spots, is that okay? I’ve been watering it like normal and-” “It’s fine ranboo, you probably have to just wipe the leaves a bit and put it in a dryer climate”

. buys it every product you recommend, like expensive fertilizer 

. he would be so sad if he killed it, he felt very proud of it

. he actually worried about not watering it enough, so thank goodness he liked the water-thirsty plant

. even names it, and would have people send in submissions

. keeps it near a window near his desk so he can watch over it

. posts it on twitter occasionally

Tommy: 

. tommy was originally coming over to drop of something from his mom for you

. however, once he saw the plants, he was very interested

“WOAH! THIS ONE”S SPIKEY!” “Yea, that one’s an Angel Wing Cactus- they do surprisingly well indoors. It’s sharp yes, but it has spaced clusters of hairs, not sharp spines. It’s great indoors since it does not get larger than two feet tall, but occasionally gets over 5 feet.”

. as you went on, tommy stared at it, r e a l l y wanting to touch it

“TOmmy! Don’t touch it-” “But it looks cool!” “I can give you a cutting, hold up”

.  after sending tommy on his way home, you hoped he didnt kill it

. luckily, as a cacti, tommy would be okay if he forgot to water it 

after a couple weeks-

. shows it off on stream daily, it’s his coke and daily check up

. puts it on his dresser behind him with all his youtooz

. posts it on insta, lots of insta stories on it

. ALSO posts it on his tiktok

“Hello tiktok. This is my cactus, it is very cool.”

. calls u when he thinks he did something wrong

“Y/N! There’s this red clump and-” “Tommy, it’s flowering, it’s going to get a flower” “Oh.”

. he’s dropped it once or twice-

. it was okay luckily

. he tries not to kill it- key word tries

. he does kill it eventually, probably from shock from dropping it

. he goes out to buy another to replace it and pretends its the same one

an: this one was fun! had to do some plant research but lmk if you want more reactions!

taglist:  @kai-was-here @xoxothornbudoxox @kutozume @truthfulsyncerity @forutheworld @losingvienna @luluwinchester​ @cr0wbonezz-wr1ting-inc​ @a-simp-for-block-people​ @dysfunctionalcrab​ @writinginnit​ @bozowrites​ @ella-ivanov

[familyfriendlyweed]

makeup sessions (karl jacobs x fem reader)

a/n : hi! this is my first tumblr post. i have written stuff on wattpad in the past, but it’s still quite new to me, so please be nice :]] i accept positive critism and advice, as that most definitely will help me grow as a writer!

 Y/n let out something between a squeal and a scream at the same time when she saw Karl's tweet. her face was beat red and her lips couldn't help but curl into the stupidest grin ever.

the tweet read :

hey @) y/nhasursocks wanna do my makeup at my stream today :]]

 it was the simplest tweet, yet it meant so much to the girl. Karl and Y/n were always really good friends, they often streamed minecraft together, but never in a million years did he yet ask her to be in his stream in real life.

 Y/n picked up the phone with trembling hands, already seeing a bunch of likes, comments and retweets to Karl's tweet. before answering, she got curious to know what the people say. cautiously opening the comments section, the girl scanned it through with her eyes. a bunch of "awwwwws" and hearts could be seen, which worsened her already red cheeks.

With her heart thumping hard against her ribs, she started writing her reply :

sounds great! <3

 for a moment Y/n hesitated to press the "reply" button with the "<3" emoticon in the comment, but then she figured she and Karl sent lovey dovey emojis/emoticons in the past to each other anyways, so, she pressed the "reply" button at last.

 in an instant, her reply started gaining more and more likes, comments and retweets. Y/n was never really popular, having her clout was only because of Karl being her friend, so seeing this much attention was weird to her. but she didn't care about that right now. all that Y/n cared about at the moment was the fact that Karl appreciated her enough to actually invite her over.

 a little bit later in the day, Y/n received a private message from Karl, which said :

hey Y/n! I'm really glad you're up to stream together <3 i planned on starting the stream at 4 pm, but you can change the time if you're busy :] here is my address (don't tell anyone! :D) - (random address lol)

 Y/n answered :

 thanks for inviting me bestie!! 4 pm is cool, I'll be there! <33

 she set the phone down, unable to remove the blissful smile from her face. she has never felt this way before - it was really weird, but the constant butterflies in her tummy reminded her that it's a good feeling. taking a few deep breaths, Y/n reminded to herself that all she has to do is to go to Karl's house and have a good time AS FRIENDS - no romantic stuff is needed.

  ~~~~~time skip~~~~~

  Y/n got off from the bus at 15:50, but she still had about 5 minutes to reach Karl's house. in what felt like forever, the girl felt a sting of what was unmistakably fear and guilt - what if she was late? and what if Karl would be annoyed with her for that?

 slowly she broke into a panicky run. passing careless citizens, who all looked at her fear-stricken face curiously, she finally made it to the front door of Karl's home. Y/n pulled out her phone and found the code that she was supposed to enter next the main door. she quickly dialed it, a beep beep beep was heard and she entered.  

 finally making it to Karl's apartment, Y/n stopped to smooth her hair and straighten her clothes so she doesn't look too shabby. her body seemed to be moving on its own - her finger pressed the doorbell automatically.

 Karl opened the door almost in an instant - he wore a warm smile and before Y/n could stutter a "hello", he pulled the girl into a big welcoming hug.

 "hey Y/n! it's so cool you made it!" Karl exclaimed, still holding her close.

Y/n's head was spinning, she needed more time to process what was happening. but nevertheless, she finally lifted her own arms and hugged the guy. burying her face into his sweater, she inhaled Karl's scent deeply - he smelled something like honey and warm days.

"hello, Karl." she mumbled with a grin on her face.

"come on, do you want to eat something before the stream?" Karl asked, letting go of the girl and taking her hand into his instead, leading Y/n into the house.

"oh no, I'm full. let's get straight to business." she answered, the blissful smile and content blush never leaving her face.

"alrighty! you already know, but we'll have an eventful makeup session, and then I thought maybe play some minecraft so the stream isn't too short?" the guy asked, opening his bedroom door.

"sounds great!"

Karl smiled and went to his computer :

"you ready? I'll start the stream now."

the girl quickly fixed her hair again and gave him thumbs up :

"ready."

Karl started the stream with facecam on and as soon as the chat saw Y/n, it went absolutely wild.

"guys, give her a rest, poor girl just came!" he laughed, drawing her a chair. Y/n thanked quietly and sat, waving to the chat timidly. in the corner of her eye, she saw comments like "she's so adorable" and "look at Karl being a gentleman" in the chat and her cheeks grew more red, but this time from satisfaction.

"well, as you guys know, Y/n agreed to be in my stream today, and since some of you don't really know her, she's a really good friend of mine who also streams and does youtube videos - so go support her!"

from that moment Y/n relaxed more and more with each minute. it was fifteen minutes into the stream when she already felt as if at home.

"Karl, you have a hell lot of lipsticks, where did that come from?"

"uhhhh, I only bought them for the stream today!"

"oh really? why are they all used, then?" Y/n asked giggling and showing them to the stream.

"hey- don't expose me like that!"

"chat, clip it, CLIP IT!"

all was going really well, Y/n was having a really good time with Karl AS FRIENDS. it was really nice. but all hell broke loose when the time to put eyeliner came.

"alright, I have no idea why, but you have four eyeliners."

"they're my sister's."

"haha, yeah, yeah, alright. Which one do you want big man?"

"hmmm, the one in your left hand!"

Y/n set the other eyeliners on the table, quickly glancing at the chat. her cheeks grew very very red…

"Y/N DO THE MEME SIT ON HIS LAP" "SIT ON HIS LAP" "THE MEME, DO THE MEME!!!"

  a/n: if anyone is confused, this is an example of the meme i’m talking about :

the girl tried to act as if she hadn't seen the comments, but Karl was already by her side, reading them with her.

"meme… what meme?" he wondered out loud. Y/n got the impression that he was genuinely confused.

'chat, shut the fuck up, please shut the fuck up.' thought Y/n, but of course chat was just being chat.

"SHE SHOULD SIT ON UR LAP" "THERE'S A MEME WHERE A GIRL DOES A GUY'S EYELINER WHILE SITTING ON HIS LAP" "WE'RE NOT FORCING BUT YOU GUYS WOULD LOOK SO CUTE"

Y/n hid her face in her hands, unable to control her blushing. Karl just chuckled sweetly :

"chat, calm down, she's going to die from blushing."

he put on the "please stand by" screen and scooted over Y/n :

"hey, it's fine. we won't do it if you don't want to," Karl then leaned closer and whispered, "I'd be pretty glad if you agreed, though."

Y/n lowered her hands, showing off the big red hue on her cheeks. for a split second Karl's eyes widened -  she looked really adorable.

"I'd also be glad." the girl said, almost not believing her own words.

Karl's adorable smile came back and he leaned back:

"well then, come here."

Y/n stood up shyly and straddled his legs, grabbing the eyeliner in the process.

"do you want me to turn on the facecam?" Karl asked quietly.

the girl nodded :

"I don't mind."

he turned it on and put his hands onto Y/n's hips. even without looking at it, Y/n knew the chat was blowing up at the moment.

"you guys better subscribe, because we're providing very good fanservice." said Karl jokingly and Y/n laughed. turning to him, she opened the eyeliner and put it next to his eye, only to find him staring at her in an awe. the girl blushed as a strong urge to kiss him kicked in. it looked as if Karl wanted the same thing.

at the precise same time, they both leaned in and pressed their lips together, Y/n putting her hands onto Karl's cheeks to hide the view from the chat. the kiss was very short and with no tongue included - but it was the most sweet kiss Y/n has ever shared with someone. she pulled away, an identical grin to Karl's on her face and hugged him very tight - they almost fell off the chair.

laughing, she continued to do Karl's makeup as if nothing happened and everyone watching the stream wasn't fainting and clipping the kiss. this will be talked about for a long time, but as before, Y/n didn't care about that, and nor did Karl.

a/n : anddddd cut! it’s quite wonky, but i believe it’s pretty swell for my first mcyt fanfic :]] let me know what you think of it and if you have any tips or advice on how to make my future stories more enjoyable! thanks for reading and i hope to see you around <3

[nojey]

impostor

quackity x streamer!reader

genre: fluff, crack

word count: 2,312 (my most so far 😳)

warning(s): (y/s/n) = your streamer name, (n/n) = nickname, cursing

synopsis: having a flirty personality was your nature, but when you use that to make a certain boy in your among us lobby blush, where does that leave you?

today was the day you were going to play among us with some of your friends, and new people you haven’t met yet. you were beyond excited to meet new people because that meant new friends, and new friends means new people to stream with. you hadn’t been able to make new friends recently because people always thought your flirty personality was too much to deal with and gave them mixed signals whether you wanted something more than just being friends. you genuinely didn’t have those intentions and it was something you were lowkey insecure about. your friends had assured you that it wasn’t your fault and it was just your personality but the new people you wanted to be friends with told you otherwise.

you had been streaming for the past 30 minutes waiting for someone to send the code in discord. talking to your chat about the lobby and who would be in it, “um the only people i know for sure are gonna be in it is poki, rae, sykkuno, corpse, and bretman. but rae did tell me that there would be some minecraft streamers,” you said lifting your eyebrows in a suggestive manner. your chat knew about you simping for minecraft streamers and they were excited for you, some of them warning you not to fall for one because they’ll just break your heart and flirt with each other. 

you heard the notification from discord coming from rae, sending the among us code and you immediately started up the game. waiting a few seconds, you put in the code and saw you were one of the last people to join. you entered the vc and heard them talking. “hi everyone!” you said in a cheery voice, smiling as they all replied with a greeting. “i’m (y/s/n), but you guys can call me (n/n)” you said. waiting for everyone else you weren’t familiar with to introduce themselves. everyone did and you figured out that you were playing with not only poki, rae, sykkuno, corpse, and bretman but also dream, george, and karl. “who else are we waiting for?” you asked, noticing the 9/10 on the bottom of the among us screen. as you asked that you heard a very loud scream coming from your headphones. you winced at the sound but soon heard a “i have arrived!” coming from the same voice that did that very loud screech. “nice of you to finally join us quackity,” karl said. you recognized the voice as soon as you heard him say ‘i have arrived’ and your eyes went big. you muted yourself in the discord call and talked to your chat. “holy shit chat, it’s quackity. like quackity the guy i’ve been SIMPING over for the past few months, holy shit.” you said, very surprised to see your favorite minecraft streamer in the same among us lobby as you. 

you unmuted and heard rae say, “surprise shawty!” and you immediately knew that she planned this. “who are we surprising?” george asked. “(y/n) is a very big fan of one of you guys.” poki said in a teasing voice. “oh who is it?” dream asked, sounding very curious. “it’s actuall-” you cut sykkuno off. “ah ha ha, *cough* *cough* *cough*, you guys, let’s start the game. ah ha my chat has been waiting for like an hour now.” “(y/n) bitch, you trying to change the subject?” bretman asked you. “oo now i’m curious too.” quackity said. you started blushing and your chat started teasing you. “mm i have no idea what you’re talking about bret, i just don’t want my lovely chat to keep waiting for this game. they’ve been looking forward to it as soon as they knew you would be in it. you know? bretman rock? singer, songwriter, actor, actress, athlete, activist, a scientist on the motherfucking side, the star of crystal of the day, and a coconut connoisseur. the baddest bitch out.” you said, hopefully distracting him from the previous topic. “okay bitch, just because you know i’m the baddest in this lobby; you’re off the hook.” everyone started laughing and as soon as it died down, dream screamed, “let’s get this game started!” rae then started the game and your adventure began.

the screen in front of you displayed “crewmate” and you were off to do your first task. you met up with sykkuno at the swipe card task and said “hey sykkuno!” he got startled and said, “oh! hey (y/n), swiping your card too?” “yessir! you know sykkuno, my chat always tells me to tell you that you should stop covering your smile whenever you laugh or smile in general and i agree with them. you have a very nice smile and you should show the world your pretty face.” you smiled. he laughed awkwardly, “oh thanks, (y/n)! i’ll- i’ll think about that. well. i’m off to my next task, bye (y/n)!” you bid goodbye to him as well and made your way toward electrical to find dream there alone. “oo dream, did you just hop out of that vent?” you asked, very much joking because he was on the 1 2 3 task, quite far away from the vent. “(y/n). are you serious? i am so far away from the vent! and you’re gonna sus me?” he said, faking offence. “well i don’t know. you do look sus just standing there for so long.” you said, putting up with the bit you guys were doing. “well what if you’re the one that hopped out of the vent? i had my task open and didn’t see you come in, why don’t you just kill me huh, (y/n)? kill me (y/n)!” you guys both started laughing and while you were in your fit of laughter, a body was called. 

“oo what are you guys laughing about?” george asked. “oh nothing. dream was just peer pressuring me to kill him.” he laughed even harder and said, “i was not peer pressuring you! you were sussing me and i was just sussing you just as much!” you laughed a little more and commented, “you know dream, you have a really pretty voice, it’s very comforting.” “oh my god! is dream the guy you’re a big fan of?” karl asked, thinking he made the biggest discovery on earth. “it actually isn’t” poki said, making karl quiet down. 

“anyways. who the fuck killed bretman?!” you asked, lowering your voice to sound more intimidating and finally looking at the screen to see bretman dead. your friends started laughing and corpse said, “i last saw him in o2 with quackity.” which made you a little embarrassed but you kept up with your act. “quackity, i swear to god if you killed the baddest bitch in this lobby you’re dead first whenever i’m imposter.” faking the same deep voice. quackity had started staggering his breath into his mic but finally let out, “i left him there and went to comms, it wasn’t me i swear!” and started to fake cry which made you let out a rambunctious laugh. “okay, okay. i believe it.” you said, still giggling a bit. “the thing is, i found his body in o2 and you were the last to see him, quackity.” rae said, still sussing quackity. “well, where was everyone?” you asked, hoping to get some sus off of him. “i know dream was with me in electrical.” sykkuno was in cafeteria, george and karl were in reactor, rae was obviously in o2 where she found bretman’s body, corpse was in lower engine, quackity in comms and poki was in admin. none of you really had any other susses other than quackity but you all decided to skip since it was only one kill and someone definitely could’ve vented into nav or something.

you started humming the tune to jesus in la by alec benjamin while on your way to electrical to finish your download. you then ran into corpse and started a conversation with him. “hi hi corpse!” and he responded with his signature, “what up baby” you giggled and replied, “my chat goes crazy every time you say that,” he laughed and asked, “if i say it more often do you think they’ll donate?” you laughed very loudly and said, “if they do, i’ll give you half of the donos” you guys both laughed and walked out of electrical to admin together and stayed together majority of the round till the lights got called. “corpse we have to stick together and don’t get gotted.” you said. but somehow along the way to electrical you lost him and just went straight to fix the lights. once you got there, sykkuno was already standing at the light panel but not fixing the lights. “sykkuno, why aren’t you fixing the lights?” you asked him. “oh i was, i just got here, haha.” he said, playing it off. as soon as you hit the last light switch, a body was called and it was dream. you looked to see that corpse and george also died.

“you guys kill bretman then you kill corpse?! who is the one to come face my wrath!” you said with an angry face that chat would probably screenshot or clip. everyone in the lobby started laughing and you held your serious face. “i’m not joking. i was with corpse until the lights got called then we got separated in storage. once i find out which one of you killed them, you better sleep with one eye open.” everyone started laughing even harder and even you cracked a small smile hearing all of them. “well i hate to say it but, i did see sykkuno last with dream.” poki said. “wha-what do you mean? i was in electrical fixing the lights right (y/n)? and i left dream near the beginning of the round” sykkuno replied. “i only saw you once i got there and you were taking a long time to fix them.” you said, hoping that you caught one of the killers. “but i told you that i just got there a few seconds before you.” he said in disbelief, thinking telling you that would help him. “you could’ve lied, sy,” you said, pulling out the nickname you had for him. “what?! me lie to you? i would never.” he said. “mm, he’s lying! he raises his voice a bit when he lies.” rae said, pointing out one of his tales. “that is true.” poki said, agreeing with what rae pointed out. “i can’t believe you would lie to me, sy!” you said. “just for that, i’m voting you.” you continued. “but we’re on 7! we don’t vote on 7,” rae said. “oops.” you said.

karl, and poki all voted with you on voting sykkuno out, leaving rae and quackity voting to skip but he ended up getting sent out of the airlock because sykkuno voted himself, thinking everyone would skip. you had hoped you really did get one of the impostors.

by this time you ended up just going by yourself and finishing your tasks. you haven’t seen anyone so you decided to go to security to spy on cams. no one was passing through until you saw quackity and he entered security and you both started talking. “hi quackity!” you said, very enthusiastic to be talking to your favorite mc streamer. “hi (y/n). how’s it going?” he asked. “well i can’t find anyone, no one has passed by the cameras other than you.” you said with your voice dripping in disappointment. “do you think we should go out and look for someone?” you asked. “no, we should just stay here and talk! we haven’t talked at all the whole game.” he said. “mm that’s true. so did you finish all your tasks?” you asked him. “no, BUT i do have a question for you ms. (y/n).” he said. you heart started beating faster, very anxious to hear what he had to ask. you hummed for him to continue and he asked, “who’s the guy you’re simping for?” you felt like your heart stopped but what you didn’t see was that he was blushing and reading his chat. “chat! i’m not simping! (y/n) is just very attractive, okay? there’s nothing i can do about that!” he said making a ‘>:(’ face, thinking he was muted. “you think i’m attractive?” you asked very shyly. “i- uh- what do you mea- i have no- what?” he stuttered and immediately killed you out of embarrassment. your screen then showed “defeat” and you gasped very loudly. 

“quackity! what the fuck? i fucking knew it was you sykkuno!” everyone started laughing and you heard a ding coming from discord. you saw it was a private message to you from quackity.

quackity: yeah, i do think you’re really attractive ;)

“quackity, you simp! i can’t believe you killed me because of that. you could’ve just told me. i think you’re really attractive too and i’d like to get to know you off stream.” you said, giving a big smile only your chat could see. “awe! (y/n)’s smiling really big! look at their stream!” rae cooed. you covered your face and heard a dono for $50 from quackity, how about we go on a date ;). “i’d like that quackity.” you said in the vc call. “you can call me alex.” he said, smiling and blushing, and his chat teasing him.

-------

after hearing you and dream flirt in the meeting, quackity was determined to kill dream out of jealousy. once he did he heard you and corpse in electrical, staying a distance away and following you both but close enough to hear you and see you with his impostor vision. he called lights and made sure you wouldn’t be able to see him once he killed corpse.

[maizumis]

— HAIKYUU BOYS HAVING A TEA PARTY WITH YOUR DAUGHTER

ft. timeskip!miya atsumu, bokuto koutaro, oikawa tooru, kuroo tetsuro, iwaizumi hajime

note: female reader ‼️ watch me write about dad!haikyuu all the moments I didn't have with my own sperm donor

MIYA ATSUMU after a long day at work, you were coming home a little more late than usual and as you were opening the door with a sigh, the first thing you listen is “PEASANT, DO NOT TOUCH THE QWEEN CWON”, yeah that’s definitely your daughter and your pretty sure that the “peasant” is your, oh so-called husband. Curiosity took the best of you, now you were behind your daughter’s door listen carefully what atsumu was saying to her, “WHATYA MEANT PEASANT? I WANNA WEAR A CROWN TOO YA KNOW!” your daughter gasps in disbelieve, “daddy, mom is da queen, I’m da princess and yer the peasant! And clearly, mommy isn’t here so don’t touch her cwon!” One thing you know is that you wouldn’t like to see and hear a screaming match between the peasant and the princess in question, thinking that stepping in is the best option, you said “what’s the matter in here?”, next thing you know, your daughter with his big brown eyes that she got from her father, comes running at you, screaming “momm- I mean queen! Yeah, queen! yer just on time for the tea party, this peasant needs to learn some manners” you picked her up, enjoying the way her little arms go around your neck, “yeah? What did dada do this time?” while her face is on your neck, she tells you with a whisper “psss mom, he is not dad now, remember is tea party time” and now with her voice a little more loud she announces to you what he did “he wanted to use ya cwon!  Literally had to scream at him cause of that! Peoples this time are onbelivabol” the las part coming with a sigh, “ugh I now right? Why don’t we teach him some manners then?” After a little thinking, your daughter tells you “uh-huh! Yer right my queen, now I will leave to the bathroom and come back to continue this celebration”. While she leaves, atsumu comes at you with a back hug asking if ya really taking her side? with a low tone, so you replied with “of course I’m taking her side, she’s a child, our child in fact” atsumu looks at you with big eyes and tells you “she is right, people these times are onbelivabol but I still love you my queen”, now facing him, noses and foreheads touching each other you whisper to him “I love you to my peasant” and after a little chuckle you continue “thank you so much for this”.

 BOKUTO KOUTAROU he always had tea parties with his daughter on Mondays after his volleyball practice with the MSBY. He couldn’t go to last week's party because of an away game, and he was devasted and promised her little princess that he would get her something. Now he is coming home from the airport with three Elsa dresses, one for his precious child, the other for his precious wife, and the last one for him, it was very difficult to find one of his size cause of his beefy body, but if he promises his little girl something, he is gonna make it without a doubt. “HEY HEY HEY! GUESS WHOS HOME” he screams while putting his suitcase down “HEY HEY HEY DADDY! I MISSED YOU SO MUCH! MOMMY IS MAKING DINNER WHILE I PREPARED OUR SUPER DUPER EXTRA TEA PARTY!!” he picks her up with one arm, making his way to the kitchen to involve you in a hug with the arm he had free “we missed you, kou” snuggling into his neck, and while his arm tightens around you he replies with a soft tone “missed my two girls too, so much” he puts her daughter on the floor again and tells her “missy I have a surprise for our tea party, why don’t you finish the preparations and then mom and I are gonna go there with dinner? Sounds good?” whit a little nod she answers with “yeah dada, that sounds good”. After hearing her enter her room you ask your husband what did he get for her, and when he tells you he didn’t get one, not two but three princess dresses you’re over the moon, the fuck you’re going to do with three dresses? you don’t question him and keep cooking as if you wouldn’t have to put on a frozen show in less than half an hour. “BABY IM COMING TO YOUR ROOM WITH HOT FOOD, BE CAREFULL” the little girl sees you in all your glory, with the most beautiful Elsa dress she ever saw “MAMA, WHY YOU DIDNT TOLD ME ELSA LET YOU BORROW HER DRESS? YOU'RE SO PWETTY!” laughing a little at her comment you decide that it was the best to tell her is a secret between adults, excited to see her reaction when her dad comes to her room with the same dress on him and a little one for her. “IM COMING IN!” your husband yells and your daughter’s eyes are the bigger you ever saw them, running like the flash to steal the dress that was in his dad's hands. “Daddy, that dress is so pwetty on you, and there's one for me! We are all matching! And now we are gonna have our four curse, ugh no, cruse, ump corse, mommy how do I say it?”, “course darling, four meal course. Now dada, why don’t you come to eat with us this fancy dinner?” after nodding and making his way to the both of you, bokuto thinks he is gonna ask for another kid one of these days.

[kumiko-desu]

Nijisanji Kuzuha | Relationship Headcanons

Pairing: Kuzuha x Streamer!Reader

Tags: reader insert, pov second person, fluff, established relationship, displays of affection, domestic fluff, confession, kuzuha is one shy vampire

Notes: Assuming Nijisanji doesn’t have a dating ban or restrictions on having a relationship.

As rambunctious and loud as he can be on stream, Kuzuha is one shy vampire when meeting new people. He’s afraid to reach out and talk, always having this fear of bothering people. But when he gets more familiar with that person, he is back to his loud and annoying self.

That happened exactly when you got invited to a party with other vtubers and meeting the top male vtuber himself. He was just standing on the side looking around. Him being your idol, you went up and tried to talk to him.

Kuzuha was nervous at the beginning because he couldn’t believe that another streamer like you admired him! Kuzuha knew who you are, a smaller gamer/streamer but popular enough to be known in the vtuber community. He occasionally watched your stream during his off days.

You both hitted off nicely and got each other’s contact information. He had immediately asked you to do an APEX collab when he learned that you played the game as well.

During the streams with you, he talks more naturally, picking up topics out of nowhere while in combat. Kuzuha would try to make you laugh, flirt with you but tease you all the time. His viewers definitely saw the dynamic between the two and was ecstatic that you two became a thing, forming (unit name).

“uwaaaa (unit name)!!”

“kuzuha-san and (Name)-san are here!”

“another collab with (Name)?!”

“will (unit name) be more popular than chronoir!?!”

Streaming with Kuzuha will bring out the crackhead side of you (not like your usual stream doesn’t have it), making the stream more entertaining and full of (unit name) content to clip from.

With you, he also makes more funny mistakes like running towards the wrong direction in Minecraft or his brain suddenly lagging in front of you and accidentally saying wrong and embarrassing things.

Kuzuha would invite you to his place often, hanging out on his days off playing games or just sharing a private time together.

On the day of his confession, he would be more nervous than usual, stuttering almost every word while talking to you. But he would find enough confidence (Kanae definitely helped with this) and confessed to you when you were going out with Kuzuha.

You two were in a private room in a fancy restaurant Kuzuha invited you to, no one else was in the room except for you and the tense vampire. He took a deep breath in and held your hands in the middle of his, “(Name), I find you very attractive and I really like being by your side and streaming with you. I always want to hear your adorable voice calling my name,” He brought a hand up to caress your cheek, “Be my girlfriend, (n/n).”

When entering a relationship, Kuzuha feels more relaxed and laid back. He doesn’t have to worry over little things he does because you already confirmed that you love every part of him.

In return, Kuzuha will pay more attention to you, like caring about your well-being and going out with you more.

The vampire knows how taxing it could be to be a streamer, so he is always there to soothe you when you have pre-stream anxiety with his jokes and hype you up before you start. Any problems you have, he will give advice to them all.

Of course he knows what to say, he gives around 8 trillion pieces of advice annually.

One time there was a comment that hit you a little too hard and you started crying on stream, alone. Fortunately, Kuzuha was on his day off and was watching your stream when he saw it. He gave you a red super chat and a comment to try to calm you down. But you only laughed lightly and calmed down a little, sniffing could still be heard. So he decided to call you on Discord. The viewers got to see a different side of Kuzuha that day and how his tone changed when talking to you.

↑ (I’ll probably write a scenario based on that so stay tuned!)

The viewers will definitely see the difference in Kuzuha when he’s streaming with you, it’s so obvious that he’s whipped for you.

[enduracarrotchips]

YouTuber AU

Hello welcome to Dating Scandal but with Twitter Involved (nightmare)

A little exposition here: 

Link, Zelda, Sidon, Revali, and Riju are the most popular group of youtubers on the internet and have a huge fanbase that likes to theorize, draw fanart, and write fanfiction about them. Disclaimer, I don’t actually interact with real-person fandoms myself lol there’s just too much potential for drama and misunderstandings & they’re always bound to end in a dumpster fire but that is sort of what this au is about so.

Impa, Mipha, Daruk, and Urbosa are family friends that appear in a lot of their videos/streams. 

(This is an art blog I swear)

enter vidcon 20XX

Link: 

blows stuff up/sets stuff on fire with a side of cooking vids and gaming

most are filmed outside, he does those challenges where you try to cook stuff with limited ingredients/materials

has the largest fanbase of all of them, but not the most…intimidating.

does a lot of collab videos, mostly with Impa, Daruk, and Riju because they have similar interests/channels, but Zelda appears in his videos and is seen filming and the stans read too far into it

simps. i’m pointing at you.

Most popular videos are “shield surfing on rock!—how I broke my leg” “can Daruk eat Impa’s motorcycle?” and “how to inhale ranch dressing.”

Twitter handle is @ arsonistslullabye because he’s a hozier fan

45m subs

Zelda:

theories, analyses, conspiracies, and the occasional e x p e r i m e n t

she once got link to eat a frog for 50 bucks.

most people argue that she’s better than more popular YouTubers because she actually has quality content to give to the world and she has a lot of defensive supporters

She used to get a lot of hate before Urbosa spoke up about it and scared the bejeezus out of everyone

has an actual posting schedule

“Happy Sunday everyone, it’s Zelda Hyrule and today we will be talking about cryptozoology and why blupees exist, you cowards.”

Twitter handle is @ zeldaofhyrule and she is pan. just so you know. One of those calm extroverts that mystify me to this day.

18m subs

Sidon:

fashion/life hacks. Like gourmet troom troom but if they were real people.

Has the 2nd largest fanbase

most of them are girls

Sidon has a boyfriend though, which he told everyone at VidCon a few years ago

cue the drama and shipping and the entire fandom trying to figure out who the boyfriend is. A well known reddit thread emerged that presented the common guesses being Link, Sidon, and Zelda.

“But it can’t be Zelda, Sidon’s gay.”

“I’m not in the fandom but I thought Zelda was a boy??”

“Did you just say Sidon? Is that a typo? Are you saying that Sidon’s dating himself?”

Sidon x Sidon became a fandom joke.

Don’t look at me I’m just setting up all the worldbuilding. every fandom has their weird dark sides and Sidon x Sidon is the Linkcest of the Sidon YT fandom.

Mystery BF is actually Bazz, a pretty inconspicuous guy who appeared in a few of his videos. This was confirmed a year ago, but everyone still ships him with other YouTubers because they’re convinced he was lying to throw them off his scent. He really can’t catch a break and this is why you should not ship real people.

Twitter handle is @ officialprincesidon

says “beguiling” a lot

21m subs ᕙ( ͡❛ ▿ ͡❛)ᕗ

Mipha:

Sidon’s sister, hasn’t posted a single video but just has the channel for show because she appears in so many of Sidon’s videos as a model for his makeup tutorials and whatnot

has 328k for that. Everyone loves her, she’s great. @ mimipha

Revali:

Link’s sworn rival

Link thinks they’re friends

He kept popping up in link’s Twitter threads and making snarky comments until zelda called him out for not even following link (so why was he stalking his acc) which kept the Twitter drama to a minimum

Revali was the catalyst of a few popular memes and that’s where most of his subs come from.

drags link into a few challenges that always get a ton of views because of how competitive they get

“ITS JUST ASININE” is a running joke that everyone tries to get him to say. His @ is itsjustasinine as well

Urbosa is the only person who can win an argument with him

5m subs and growing rapidly. newer to youtube than everyone else.

Impa:

Doesn’t have a channel she’s just a mutual friend of Mipha, Zelda, and Link

Rides a motorcycle, so she is used in a few of Link’s videos.

@ ihaveamotorcycle because she thinks having a motorcycle is a personality trait. the most unruly on Twitter when it comes to replying to fan’s stuff, leaking upcoming videos and generally causing chaos.

Mipha’s girlfriend. That’s how she met Zelda and Link.

Urbosa:

Is actually a model, but she has a ton of YouTuber friends because she’s known Zelda since birth.

when she entered the youtube community she didn’t realize she would be adopting like 15 children

5m subs. her videos are professional & related to her modelling career. @ urbosasfury

I feel like she would do unboxing vids. I’m not sure what she’s unboxing.

Daruk

Just a friend of Link’s, fun guy. yells a lot. once ate a rock and had no reaction.

people are scared of him for that reason

Riju:

yoga & gymnastics & “ha look at how flexible I am its eAsY” videos

you know the type

she also does reactions and is sponsored by save the sand seals charities which she is very enthusiastic about. She’s also Urbosa’s niece and the only minor in the gang (15). I like to think that the champions YT community is actually not creepy so everyone respects her a ton

doesn’t post frequently, she mostly appears in Link’s videos to jump out of airplanes or whatever. And sometimes Zelda’s if she’s interested in the topic. 500k subs, but she’s always really popular when she appears in Link’s videos.

VidCon:

In the months leading up to VidCon, some fans on the internet made a few discoveries: first of all, that the inside of Link’s house is painted green. This is a big deal because all of his videos are filmed outside either in his backyard or on trips that he and the brosquad go on to do…whatever bros do. explosions. idk. The point is he had some announcement about VidCon and filmed it inside. Only the wall and a potted plant were shown.

However, the colour was similar to the the shade of Zelda’s living room. Fans dug through years and years of old videos and found a clip of Zelda walking through a hallway, where there was an open door and a glimpse of a houseplant.

There were 2 types of responses to the theory:

“They could just be roommates guys calm down”

“and they were ROOMMATES?”

others pointed out that Link could just not have a house and had to crash in Zelda’s

Some guy on reddit claimed he had a botany degree and declared that the houseplants in the clips were not of the same genus. Normal people pointed out that the plant would have grown 4 years between the clips and would look considerably different.

#Zelink trended on twitter for a while and people posted other old clips from both of their channels and the frog video blew up again

Impa retweeted a post tagged as #zelink with “rofl” and later publicly apologized for causing confusion.

Fans noticed that in the “can a motorcycle drive over my arm” (it was clickbait he’s fine) episode 2 years ago, Link was eating out of a paper lunch bag with his name written on it in handwriting that a few people claimed to look like Zelda’s, leading people to believe that she had packed him a lunch.

However, this theory was shot down with the counterargument that Zelda can’t cook. although. i mean how much skill do you need to make a sandwich.

No one knows what tumblr is doing at this time

Zelda wore a scarf in her “Save the Sand Seals” video that matched identically to the scarf Link wore when he travelled to Hebra to film a shield surfing video, but it’s been debated wether it’s actually the same scarf or not.

Neither Zelda nor Link has spoken up about the theories, and besides Impa’s one slip on twitter, neither has any of their friends. Zelda received a lot of backlash for the assumption that she was dating Link because he has a lot of delusional fans that didn’t want her to “steal their man” or whatever the hell that type of fan would get mad about

Oh yea and bolson & karson run a zelink fanpage on twitter sorry I forgot about that

after that whole mess, everyone was even more anticipant of VidCon in the hopes that some of their questions would be answered.

The whole batch went to VidCon this year: Link, Impa, Daruk, and Riju are a gang while Sidon and Mipha go together and Zelda & Revali each go separately. Urbosa is there for supervision moral support

Zelda has always been much better at dodging questions that she doesn’t want to answer than anyone else, so her Q&A went without a hitch. When asked to confirm the rumours she said “which one?” and then moved on to the next question (without actually confirming any rumours).

Link is generally a more awkward person but eventually said that he had filmed the video in Zelda’s house because it was nicer and didn’t realize it would cause such an uproar. Fans were disappointed, but Bolson claimed he saw Link and Zelda exiting the hotel elevator on the same floor after Link’s Q&A session. No one believed him.

Fans went back to theorizing over who Link, Zelda, and Sidon were all dating, because apparently they can’t just be dating unknown people and have to be with other YouTubers

Sidon and Bazz got engaged about a week after VidCon, making at least 4 preteen girls cry

actually try 4 million

Sidon x Sidon made a brief comeback but Sidon spoke up about his fandom for the first time ever on twitter and told everyone that no, he was not dating himself. eventually, everyone settled down and accepted that none of them were in a relationship save for a few loud fans.

Link and Zelda still got the occasional “when will you tell us who you’re dating?” comment but most of them were joking and the people who still hardcore shipped them were generally frowned upon. Zelda’s popularity went up after VidCon and she regained the 200k subscribers she’d lost after the first theory dropped.

Two months after VidCon, Link posted a video titled “Zelda and I’s House Tour!” and gave around 45 million people a heart attack

as revealed in the video, they had actually been dating since they were 16 and everyone’s just a fool.

the potted plant is named Hestu.

[translations-by-aiimee]

The Husky and His White Cat Shizun - Chapter 8

Original Title:  二哈和他的白猫师尊

Genres: Drama, Romance, Tragedy, Xianxia, Yaoi

This translation is based on multiple MTLs and my own limited knowledge of Chinese characters. If I have made any egregious mistakes, please let me know.

Chapter Index

Chapter 8 - This Venerable One Gets Punished

Mo Ran lay in bed like a dead fish for three days. Just as his wounds started to heal, he was summoned to Red Lotus Pavilion to do manual labour.

This was also part of his punishment. During the punishment period, Mo Ran couldn't go down the mountain, but he also couldn't just laze around. So he had to help out the sect and do some drudgery.

Generally speaking, these errands were things like: helping the cafeteria lady at Mengpo Hall wash the dishes, scrubbing the three hundred and sixty-five stone lions on the pillars of the Naihe Bridge, transcribing extremely boring archive files, and so on.

But what kind of place was Red Lotus Pavilion? It was the residence of that bastard Chu Wanning, known as the cursed place called Red Lotus Hell.

Few people in Life-Death Peak had been there, and everyone who had been there left with either their legs or their arms broken.

Therefore, in addition to Red Lotus Hell, Chu Wanning's bedroom had a more grounded nickname: Broken Leg Pavilion.

There was an inside joke circulating around the sect: "The Pavilion hides a beauty, and the beauty holds Tianwen. Enter the gate of broken legs, know the suffering of getting your legs broken. If you want your meridians broken, go to the Elder Yuheng."

There was once a female disciple who wasn't afraid of death. She was bold enough to lust after Elder Yuheng's beauty. Taking advantage of the dark night and high winds, she sneaked to the Southern Peak and climbed onto the eaves, intending to watch the Elder bathe and strip his clothes.

As you can imagine, the female warrior was beaten within an inch of death by Tianwen, crying for her father and calling her mother, and lay in bed for no less than a hundred days.

And Chu Wanning also declared that, if anyone else dared to commit another crime, he would carve out the eyes of the perpetrator himself.

Do you see? What complete nonsense! What puzzling behaviour! What a heinous man!

Within the sect, there used to be innocent silly girls who thought that, because they were women, Elder Yuheng would pity them and show compassion. They were always laughing and joking in front of him, trying to attract his attention. But ever since the elder whipped that one female hooligan, no one dared to hit on him anymore.

To Elder Yuheng, whether it was men or women, he didn't have the disposition of a gentleman. Other than a good-looking face, there was nothing redeeming about him - this was how Chu Wanning was viewed by the disciples of this sect.

The junior brother who had delivered the summons looked at Mo Ran with sympathy. He tried to stay quiet, but in the end, couldn't hold it back: "Brother Mo. . ."

"Hmm?"

". . . Elder Yuheng has such a bad temper. No one who went to the Red Lotus Water Pavilion came out able to stand. Maybe you could see if you could say your wounds haven't healed and beg Yuheng Elder to let you wash dishes instead?"

Mo Ran was very grateful for this junior brother's bodhisattva heart, but he didn't agree.

Beg Chu Wanning?

Forget it. He doesn't need to get beaten by Tianwen a second time.

So he strenuously put on his clothes, dragged his feet, and walked reluctantly to Life-Death Peak's southern peak.

Red Lotus Pavilion, Red Lotus Hell. There wasn't a single person in sight for a hundred li around Chu Wanning's residence.

No one wanted to go close to his residence. Chu Wanning's bad taste and uncertain personality made everyone in the sect stay far away from him.

Mo Ran was a bit nervous. He didn't know what Chu Wanning would make him do as punishment. His thoughts ran wild the whole trip to the southern peak. After passing through the dense bamboo groves, large swathes of beautiful red lotus came into view.

It was early morning, the sun rising from the east, reflecting a splendid shine on the horizon. The red lotus stalks in the pond stretched towards the flaming clouds in the sky, complementing each other; magnificent. At the edge of the pond, a curved zig-zag bridge led to the pavilion standing in serene silence. Behind it was a curtain of waterfalls streaming down the mountain, the fine crystal water droplets raining against the rocks at the bottom. The watery mist created by it evaporated into the air, light gleaming through the fog, creating a sense of enchanting tranquillity.

This is what Mo Ran thought about this:

Gross.

Wherever Chu Wanning lived, no matter how beautiful it was, would always be gross to him!

Just look at it, so arrogantly extravagant, a true waste of extravagance, in fact. The disciples’ dorms are all closely connected to each other and they don't take up much surface area. And then there's the mighty Elder Yuheng, who occupies a whole mountain by himself. He even dug three large ponds and filled them with lotus flowers. Although, these lotus flowers are special varieties and can be refined into immortal medicine, but—

This is getting off track, the place was not pleasing to the eye. He wished he could burn down Broken Leg Pavilion with his torch!

All he could ever do was silently criticize this place. Given that he was only sixteen* this year, he was no match for Chu Wanning. Mo Ran showed up outside Chu Wanning's residence regardless. He stood at the door, squinted his eyes, and put on a sickeningly sweet demure, pretending to be the ideal disciple.

*(T/N The original text flips between all these ages. Mo Ran is just guessing how old he is so that's why it keeps going to 14/15/16)

"Disciple Mo Ran here to greet his master."

"Yes, come in."

The room was chaotic and disorganized. The cold-blooded demon Chu Wanning was dressed in a white robe. The lapels were folded high and tightly, giving off an air of purity and abstinence. Today, he had his hair in a high ponytail, covered with a black metal hair ring. He sat on the ground fiddling with a bunch of mechanical parts, biting a pen he had in his mouth.

Casually glancing at Mo Ran, with the pen still in his mouth, he said vaguely: "Come here."

Mo Ran approached him.

It was no easy feat. Considering there were no benches or tables in this room, artwork and metal broken wood were scattered everywhere.

Mo Ran's brows twitched. He had never entered Chu Wanning's room in his previous life, and he had no idea that this well-dressed beautiful man lived in such a mess. . . He was at a loss for words.

"Master, what is this?"

"Night Wanderer."

"What?"

Chu Wanning was a little impatient, probably because it was inconvenient to speak with a pen in his mouth: "Night Wanderer."

Mo Ran silently glanced at the mess of parts on the ground.

His master was hailed as Shizun Chu, and it wasn't just out of vanity. Speaking honestly, Chu Wanning was a very powerful man. Whether it is his three god-grade weapons, his cultivation techniques, or his machine-building skills, he was clearly worthy of being defined by four words: "the peak of excellence". This was also the reason why he had such a bad temper and was so difficult to serve, but the major cultivation sects still tried to fight over him for those skill.

Regarding the "Night Wanderer", the reborn Mo Ran was well aware of it.

It was a kind of machine made by Chu Wanning, cheap to make but had strong combat power. It can guard the ordinary people in the lower cultivation world from ghosts and demons at night.

In his previous life, the well-made Night Wanderer had almost become a must-have machine for every household. The price of one was equivalent to a broom, and the effect was much easier to handle than the Grinning Door God.

After Chu Wanning died, those Night Wanderers still guarded the poor families who couldn't afford a high-level cultivator. This compassionate heart, coupled with Chu Wanning's affection for his disciples. . . hehe, it really makes Mo Ran despise him.

Mo Ran sat down and looked at the "Night Wanderer" which was just a bunch of parts at this time, and the past flashed through his mind. He couldn't help picking up one of the Night Wanderer's limbs and grasped it in his hand for a closer look.

Chu Wanning clipped a few components, finally freeing his hands. He took the pen out of his mouth and glared at Mo Ran: "That one was just finished with tung oil, don't touch it."

"Oh. . ." Mo Ran put down the machine. He put his fake smile back on still looking cute and completely harmless. He asked with a smile, "Shizun summoned me here, are you planning to let me help?"

Chu Wanning hummed: "Mm."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Clean up the house."

Mo Ran's smile froze. He looked around at the room that looked like it had been hit by an earthquake: ". . ."

Chu Wanning was a genius in immortal cultivation and an idiot in life.

After picking up the fifth broken teacup that had never been swept up, Mo Ran finally couldn't stand it: "Shizun, when was the last time you cleaned your house? My god, it's so messy!"

Chu Wanning was looking at his drawings, and didn't look up when Mo Ran spoke to him: "Almost a year."

Mo Ran: ". . ."

"Where do you usually sleep?"

"What?" There must be something wrong with the drawing. Chu Wanning was upset and looked even more impatient than usual. He rubbed his head and replied in a huff, "Of course it's the bed."

Mo Ran glanced at the bed. It was piled with all kinds of machines that had been mostly completed, as well as a bunch of tools such as saws, axes, files, and so on.

Seriously, how did this man sleep without cutting his own head off?

After working for most of the day, the sawdust on the floor had filled three dustpans, and the white towel that had wiped down the bookcase was ten times more black. By noon, he had only cleaned about half.

Fuck Chu Wanning, this person is really more poisonous than a leeching woman.

Cleaning a room didn't seem like much of a punishment, it didn't really seem like hard work, but who knew that it was such a ghastly place that hadn't been touched in a year? Not to mention that he was covered with wound. Even if he was healthy now, he could shorten his lifespan by half going through all of this!

"Shizun. . ."

"Hm?"

"Your pile of clothes. . ." They'd been stacked there for about three months.

Chu Wanning finally got one of Night Wanderer's arms attached. He rubbed his sore shoulder, looked up at the robes on the suitcase, and said coldly: "I wash them myself."

Mo Ran was relieved. Thank goodness. But he was still a little curious: "Really? Shizun can wash clothes?"

Chu Wanning glanced at him, and after a while, coldly said: "What's so hard about it? Throw them in water, soak them, take them out, and dry them."

". . ." After hearing this, he really didn't know any girl who would keep lusting after Chu Wanning. Mo Ran truly thought that it would break the hearts of dozen of women to find out how disgusting this man really was.

"It's getting late. You can accompany me to the dining hall and finish the rest when you get back."

There were people coming and going from Meng Po Hall, and the Life-Death Peak disciples were eating together. Chu Wanning grabbed a lacquered wooden tray, took a few dishes and sat in the corner silently.

From where he was, no one sat within twenty feet of him.

No one dared to sit too close to Elder Yuheng, for fear that he would get upset, and they would get a lashing from Tianwen. Chu Wanning himself actually knew about this, but he didn't mind. A cold beauty sat there, gently eating the food in the bowl.

But today wasn't like usual.

Mo Ran was brought by him, so naturally he had to follow him.

Others are afraid of him. So was Mo Ran, but he had already died once, so Chu Wanning was nothing in comparison.

Especially after the fear of first seeing him had subsided, the hatred of Chu Wanning from his previous life slowly emerged. So what if Chu Wanning was powerful? In his last life, he still died by his hands.

Mo Ran sat down in front of him, calmly chewing the sweet and sour pork ribs in the bowl. He crunched on the bones then spit them out into a pile.

Chu Wanning suddenly slammed down his chopsticks.

Mo Ran stopped for a moment.

". . . Can you stop eating with your mouth open?"

"I chew the bones, how am I supposed to do that with my mouth closed?"

"Then don't eat the bones."

"But I like to eat the bones."

"Eat around them."

The two quarreling voices grew louder and louder, and some disciples were already peeping at them.

Mo Ran fought the urge to throw the rice bowl over Chu Wanning's head. He pursed his lips, and after a while, he narrowed his eyes, and a sweet smile appeared at the corners of his mouth.

"Shizun, don't shout so loudly. Others might hear, won't they laugh at us?"

Chu Wanning has always been thin-skinned, and his voice really softened. He whispered: "Get out."

Mo Ran burst out laughing.

Chu Wanning: ". . ."

"Hey, Shizun, don't stare at me. Come on, let's eat. I'll try to be quiet."

Mo Ran had laughed enough and started playing nice again, the sound of his chewing much softer.

Chu Wanning gradually went back to gently eating. Seeing that Mo Ran was bring obedient, his face slightly relaxed, no longer looking so bitter and upset. He lowered his head, eating his green beans and tofu with grace.

After a long pause, Mo Ran started to do it again.

He didn't know what was wrong with him. In summary, seeing Chu Wanning in this life, he wanted to make a fool of himself and do whatever he could to make him angry.

So Chu Waning found that although Mo Ran did not chew loudly this time, he began to grab the ribs with his hands and eat them, sloppily eating with greasy hands and sauce-covered fingers.

Chu Wanning's blue forehead vein popped. Endure it.

He lowered his eyelashes. He didn't look at Mo Ran, and focused on his own meal.

Mo Ran didn't know if he had gotten too carefree or forgetful while eating, but he accidentally threw one of the gnawed bones into Chu Wanning's rice bowl.

Chu Wanning stared at the messy and hideous rib bone, and the surrounding air so condensed and frozen it was visible to the naked eye.

"Mo Ran. . . !!!"

"Shizun. . ." Mo Ran was quite frightened. He wasn't sure whether what he said sounded true or fake. "That. . . Uh, I didn't mean it."

Probably fake.

". . ."

"Don't be angry, I'll take it out for you."

He really stretched out his chopsticks, stuck them into Chu Wanning's bowl, and quickly picked out the bone.

Chu Wanning's face was pale, like he was about to vomit.

Mo Ran batted his eyelashes, and there was a pitiful grievance on his delicate face: "Shizun, do you dislike me?"

". . ."

"Shizun, I'm sorry."

It was just that.

Chu Wanning thought to himself: Why do you need to be restrained with the junior disciples?

He gave up the urge to summon Tianwen to hit Mo Ran. His appetite was gone, and he got up and said: "I'm full."

"What? Is that all you're going to eat? Shizun, you've barely touched your food."

Chu Wanning brushed him off: "I'm not hungry."

Mo Ran's heart felt like it was as joyful as a flower, and he still sweetly said: "Then I won't eat it anymore. We can go back to Red Lotus Hell - ehem, go back to Red Lotus Pavilion."

Chu Wanning narrowed his eyes: "We?" There was a mockery in his eyes, and then said, "Who is the other person you're talking about? Disciples and their Shizun have respectable relationships and you will address me in the proper manner."

Mo Ran carefully kept his expression, his eyes curled up with a smile, well-behaved, sensible and cute.

However, in his heart he was thinking: Respectful relationship? Proper manner?

Hehe, if Chu Wanning could know what happened in his previous life, he would know - in the end, Mo Weiyu was the only one deserving of respect in the world.

No matter how noble and arrogant Chu Waning was, he was still a piece of mud under his boot. Didn't he depend on Mo Ran's good will to survive?

Stepping quickly to keep up with his shizun's pace, Mo Ran still had a bright smile on his face.

If Shi Mei was the white moonlight in his heart, Chu Wanning was the broken fishbone stuck in his throat. He needed crush this thorn or swallow it, and it will corrode away in his stomach.

In short, during this new life, he could spare whoever he wanted.

But he would never spare Chu Wanning.

However, Chu Wanning didn't seem to want to spare him so easily.

Mo Ran stood in front of the library in Red Lotus Hell, looking at fifty rows of ten-story bookshelves, thinking that he must have heard wrong.

"Shizun, what did you say. . .?"

Chu Wanning replied lightly: "Dust all the books in here."

". . ."

"After dusting, catalogue them."

"..."

"I will check back tomorrow morning."

"!!!"

What!!! Was he supposed to stay overnight in Red Lotus Hell??

But he had planned to meet with Shi Mei, and even asked Shimei to change his medicine at night!!!

He opened his mouth to plead his case, but Chu Wanning didn't bother paying attention to him. With a wave of his wide sleeves, and turned to exit the library, and, incidentally, closed the door of the library in a haughty manner.

Mo Ran, who's date had been ruined, sat in his boiling hatred of Chu Wanning - he wanted to burn all Chu Wanning's books!!

No!

After thinking it over, he thought of something even worse. . .

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