#i said something like 'im here for medical care i appreciate it but thats not something i want to fight for right now' | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

storiesofmebyme · 2 years ago

Text

08/06/22

I’ve always wondered if you will wake up and know this is the day i'm going to die. The answer is no. If you care enough to listen there are definitely signs but you'll never see them through the tunnel vision of temptation. Not until you wake up and have no choice but to face it. The raw, ugly, bitter truth my addictions just won.

I remember it so vividly for someone who was unconscious (dead) for a majority of the experience. He hit it first, seemed so high but fine, right? I pondered the consequences of fentanyl and what I was doing. Too bad the high is right in my hands and I could never say no. Thanks to my bestie, temptation. I cared about what was going to happen to me but not more than I cared about feeling sweet bliss. So I hit it again. Black.

First, I felt the mask on my face, helping me breathe. I’m barely conscious, not awake enough to open my eyes, or speak, or fight. Just enough to know exactly what was happening. Back to black.

Then it happened, my eyes opened. Surrounded by dozens of paramedics and police. Faces everywhere. My heart sunk, hard. I can't describe the absolute shame that flowed through my body. The first words said, “Megan, you just died.” Talk about heart sinking. I just died? What The Fuck. I’m not sure what i thought overdosing meant but god damn that hit. So there I was, laying on a nasty concrete basement floor covered in sweat and shame. Rock bottom is a mother fucker i can tell you that.

The paramedics said “you just overdosed and died” several times before I had anything to say. Finally, I apologized enough times in 60 seconds to set a record. I asked for my phone to call my mom before i could even get the words out a male police officer says “you’re phone is in evidence.” It was like he was just waiting for me to ask so he could inform me of my first punishment. Finally, they ask if i want to go to the hospital and if i can get up. I asked if i should go, while this answer seems obvious, remember im still disoriented. The paramedics wasted no time making me feel less than “i mean you just died so yeah i would go” Well jesus fuckin christ lets get in the ambulance and go then. So, I leaned forward to get up, all i can say is fuck owowowowowow. My chest feels like a stampede just ran across me. All they had to say is “Is it just your chest that hurts? Thats because we just did cpr to save your life.”

I get that thank you so much, a warning would have been nice regardless. So here i am again surrounded by medics and police officers watching me wince in pain struggling to get up. Finally an absolute angel of a lady reaches out her hand. A hand i really fucking needed. I held her hand the whole way up the stairs. I was scared and so alone. With no way to contact anyone I love.

We got to the top of the stairs and I was completely winded so I stopped and said “I need help.” Something I genuinely never ask for because I know better. A plea that had gone ignored for far too long.. What do you know some stupid fucking male paramedic says “were gonna get you some help.” HA what a fucking epitome of my life. So I picked myself up and carried myself out just like always.

Now we're walking out of the house Grant says “I’m so sorry megan”

I didn't say a word. I just walked down the driveway looking at the ground while neighbors watched. Finally, I climbed into the ambulance. At Least I’m not surrounded by people anymore. Then the paramedic unknowingly in the ambulance asked two of the most awful questions he could come up with. The first “how old are you”

“23”

“arent you a little young to be doing this”

Listen bud, i appreciate it but no it was “too young” when i was 14 addicted to adderall and smoking dope by 15. Then he also had the nerve to ask “did you know other girls have died at this same house” yes. Yes i fucking did] they were my friends. I cant understand why i got a chance that they didnt. Why me? Why.

We get to the hospital and they're rolling me to my room and all i can think is this isnt real. There's no way I am getting wheeled on a bed to a hospital room. Damn i really fucked up this time, bad. We get to the room and they have me switch beds. My chest is on fire btw, some of the worst pain I have ever been through. Lets just say for health care professionals they were less than patient and empathetic. More like judgmental and degrading. The paramedic started telling the nurse what had brought me to the hospital. When the paramedic explained the severity of what had happened. I hear him say “ No she was in cardiac arrest for two minutes. She was did not have a pulse when we arrived.” This BITCH the nurse goes “oh Woooow.” Are you fucking serious? I’m in the

middle of understanding and accepting what has happened - alone- and this bitch says woooow?? Hell no find a new profession this one is not for you.

Unfortunately for me that was my nurse for the visit. Fml the punishment really fuckin showed up from the moment i woke up. So the nurse comes back and puts all these stickers all over me to check my heart. They were all over my chest and back. Knowing how many unwanted people had touched me that day made me sick. To the core. The person who gave me cpr was a man.. A man touched my lifeless body. Gross gross gross.

The rest of my hospital visit was really a blur. I woke up and asked for a blanket and the same bitch nurse says “but you’re sweating.” Alright bitch you really need a new job you’re a nurse thats never heard of cold sweats??? Come on now. Everytime i woke up i would ask to call someone literally anyone. I was so done being alone at this point. I needed to tell my family. I needed to tell everyone i loved so i could start feeling better asap. This wasnt a guilt a was willing to live with and I was ready to face it immediately. I knew i would disappoint so many people with my news but I knew they needed to hear it from me.

After many hours in the hospital I’m able to finally call my mom. At the time this is all I truly wanted. I knew my mom was going to make me feel safe. Of course she immediately burst into tears. Little did I know she was on her way back from Chicago and still hours away. So next best option is my grandma.. Oh god my grandma.

I’ll be honest my grandmother is not a quick person never has been a day in her life. She showed up to that hospital, fast. A blessing and a curse. She brought me comfort but it was immediately gone when she started asking for every detail. With every “She overdosed” “She died” and “She's very lucky” i felt my heart go deeper into my stomach. As I realized this is the beginning of alot of disappointment... How did I let myself get here?

Once my grandma was there I was nice and awake. Feeling every emotion deeply, painfully. Then a nurse half mentioned discharge and every emotion turned to anger and annoyance. I was ready to go. Clearly I was ok at this point I wanted my dogs and my bed. Mostly my dogs - my only real safe space. So they

unhooked me from the IV and went to get the discharge papers. I stood off angrily ripped all those little fucking stickers off of me and left.

The ride to my house was surreal. I called everyone immediately important to me and let the rest wait. My dogs were safe, my work dogs were safe and so far no one absolutely hated me. To me that meant i could finally start making peace with what i had done.

I got home and went to bed. And thats all i did for days. I just slept.

T B Continue..

#addiction #recovery #sobriety #writing #memories #overdoz #love and other drugs #tw abuse #tw addiction #reading #long reads

0 notes

misanthropiczombie · 1 year ago

Text

35 !!!

so im pretty sure im already spoild for how this arc uhhhh ends out. but we'll see

i love the sleeve flick as a show of displeasure.

ah yeah so that is in fact spoiled but wOW STILL EMOTIONAL

also so intensely fuck that guy

all of the 'its bad luck's were actually foreshadowing, alas

but! they have the bracelets, so in theory they'll get a second chance!

also THIS is what i mean by tragic romance needing a resolution before it can be properly tragic. It's sad because they were close, they'd overcome their obstacles, hand in hand but they were betrayed in an egregious way at the height of happiness.

also wkx is going to absolutely DEMOLISH these people he's gonan be SO MAD

okay but listen right LISTEN TO ME

She gets the warriors death and that is SO IMPORTANT TO ME. They could have made her weak or an actual bad fighter, but instead she's taking on someone who outclasses her by far because he was the one who sneak-killed cao weining (which is gutless and frankly he deserved better) and just Anyways. There's poetry in this and if she's going to die (which i paused to write this so like maybe not... but) this is the way I'd have hoped for her.

WEN KEXING KILL THAT MO FO

He heals and he keels

OH SHE LEGITIMATELY FORGOT HIM GOOD FOR HER GOOD FOR HER GOOD FOR HER

well less good for her

Does he have the key? is that actually the key? somehow I doubt it.

He inhereted that Ambition lol

Oh okay More Fighting

Well I guess thats one way to cleanse the mountain

ALSO sorry now he's retreating???? fuck this dude with a rusty spork

SHES REAL GOOD AT THE ACTING THAT mAKES ME CRY

NOT ME CRYING YOU CRYING

I hope Wen Kexing fuckign destroys them.

that's his DAUGHTER he tried to give her a better life, but in the end his past still caught up with him

vocalized music over the top= Emotional Beat but also they're right for it

but also he put the crown/diadem back on her AND HE GET CRAZY EYES BACK

when did he get a cut on his face.

because you are too ambitious for your own good

and also you deserved it

also YES YES YES BAD ASS, INTENSE WEN KEXING IS BACK. Im sorry it was brough on by Gu Xiang's death but like man do I love this shit.

God those swishy robes are the shit. lookit them long legs framed by the red twirl. very cool.

also stop throwing the fan please it is also your defensive tool and we have an entire other episode to go here

where was zzs he also ran in with him. why was he fighting this guy alone alsoalso took the HIT just to get close enough to kill him

I appreciate the commitment to the revenge but also she said to take care of your self

getting stabbed in the chest is not really my idea of Self Care

OKAY BUT WOW WHAT BADASSERY. i rewound that like ten seconds and he BREAKS THE SWORD OFF INSIDE HIMSELF THEN USES THAT TO STAB A MOFO

and also whooooooooooOoOoOooOOOOOOOoOo boy the LOOK when he do.

if we're going to get a second tragic death it really has to be next episode

and we've sort of wrapped up a bunch of ends here already

what a gorgeous shot tho

lmao "i do not give a fuck about the armory, im sunbathing fuck off" *is bleeding to death* wkx is a whole mood

i mean it a little insulting for you to stab him while hes already dying.

also okay so like. Look

I love Xie Wang, so, so , SO MUCh but ZZS should talk less and stab more. he has a husband in dire need of medical intervention, you know

'your life for his, fuck the power' very zzs pretty sure xie wang is moderately jealous

waht if he didnt accidentally that balm. save him instead of yourself do it

also KISS HIM, but you know. book for kissin, tc show for sick aerial shots

mo stabbin mo rehabbin

mmmmm i didnt actually catch it, but based on their responses I suspect this dude just called Xie Wang overly familarly or something. Of course that kind of stuff doesnt come across in translations

he turned away her ghost ):

there is some symbolism im missing with the tea, I think

hes wearing the hair stiiiiick

oh he for reals is going for it this time. aigh aight

Word of Honor Liveblogging pt 3

OKAY PART THREE

Episodes 1-16 ⪻⨀⪼ Episodes 17-26

I realized I need to stub out everything if I actually want to make these directional and a new reblog for each episode. ITS FINE.

Anyways, onto Episode 27 and through the last episodes of the series. I'm so goddamned obsessed already.

dramatic xiao playing again. He doesnt eat his emotions, he plays the xiao.

Ye bai ye? oh its both of them lmao

and there's the drop but he really dont look that surprised

BECAUSE HES SMART AND IF WKX HAD JSUT TOLD HIM IT WOULD HAVE BEEN FINE

The fight WKX has been ITCHING for

YE BAIYE so stronk

Man i know im like a fucked up little gremlin, but Wen Kexing looks real nice with some bruises lmao

wkx's devastated look is making a lot of appearances and A) its so good like acting wise B) it's SO GOOD emotional wise

~sword glare~

Anyways I just want to say one of my least favorite things in cdramas thusfar is the plot armor/plot nerf. wkx and zzs both down from one singular blow? for a guy they've fought a few times? ((the wens eradicating all of lotus pier with ZERO casualties on their side?? im still salty)) anyways they definitely could have lasted longer.

ZZS going for the 'i'm not mad, i'm disappointed" route. Fatherhood has agreed with him

EHEHEEEEEEEEEEEEHEHHDF me, hyperventallating into a bag: HE HELD HiS FACEa;lsdkfj no notes your honor

helpless child act lmao i love them i love them brat4brat i love this zhou zishu

she is trying so hard to keep it together just TELL HIM

good for him for sticking up for her.

Nut Bar

br u h is he in the bath. surely they have restored the manor enough for some more individualized rooms. there used to be 81 of his generation

DAMN ZZS "im not good at lying like you"

listen STAB HIM Zhao Jing fucking sucks and you deserve so much better.

KILL HIM KILL HIM KILL HIM KILL HIM i believe in you so hard kill HIM

ope we have vocalized lyrics, something Important is going to happen. MAYBE HER SECRET WILL BE OUT THERE CHRIST

lmao wkx getting chengling (presumably) drunk what a fucking gremlin. ZZS just letting him

gremlin wkx and zzs is doing that dramatic sigh like he hates it except he absolutely does not

#word of honor #live bloggin #tian ya ke #Episode 35

18 notes · View notes

heyitsyn · 4 years ago

Text

Keeping Up With Seijoh Ep. 5

a/n: ong this is going to be a bit of a crack episode w a tiny dash of flirty manager

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

anon:

-Watch the boys be all dramatic when yn misses a few days of school and suddenly show up with a broken arm😭✊🏻😔

- Dunno if this is a dream or not but i think you mentioned that yn is clumsy. Just imagine her carrying those cute band aids around for when she gets hurt. But what if she uses them on the boys when they get hurt

tumblr moot:

- She is looking down at the boy who is checking her scrap on her knee, when she smiles all cutely and shit "I fell for you" And cue the boy having a heart attack because she is way to cute

im totally not running out of seijoh gifs or anything

anyways!!

lets start!!

okay as mentioned before and as read above,,

you are quite clumsy

like there is a normal level of clumsy

but you are just on another level

like in manager part 2, your mom ltr was not shocked when you said you fell up the stairs like ‘oh okay. the weathers nice today’

lmao what

and youre also the type to not even know you got hurt like youd just be scratching your arm and youd find a bruise

‘how did that get there?’

so it was common to find you with band-aids on you and bruises all over

like you entered the gym for practice and you were just doing your normal manager tingz when our meme bois saw you and zoomed towards you

‘y/n-chan!!! we missed you!!!!

makki screeched which scared you so you dropped the crate of bottles onto your feet

‘owie’

you mumbled, the pain settling in at an overwhelmingly quick pace so there were tiny tears in your eyes

the duo gasped and quickly kicked the crate to the side like they were angry at it for hurting you

uwu omg thats so cute

or the one time you were wiping the sweat from kyo’s forehead

he had a small soft smile that could only be seen by you as you got rid of the sweat

but that smile turned into a frown when he got a glimpse at the discoloration on certain parts of your arms

‘y/n’

he whispered

you blinked up and he gently grabbed your arm, fingertips ghosting over the bruises

‘how could you do this to your beautiful skin’

he mumbles and you shrugged

‘hmm,,, i didnt even know they were there’

kyo shook his head with an amused chuckle and iwa, who was drinking water at the side, noticed you two

then he noticed more at your other arm and baby boi hurriedly ran over to you

next thing you know, you got best bois fussing over you always hurting yourself and kyo gently headbutts you to tell you off while iwa flicks your nose

‘honestly, we cant trust you by yourself’

you just giggled at them which caused them to stumble and fluster

THESE BOYS ARE SO SOFT LIKE PLEASE

its quite normal for you to look like you just fell down the stairs and be so surprised whenever the boys point it out

like youd have this confused pout and tilt your head ‘hm? hello. how did you get here’

its kinda cute

and ofc you would naturally have your ointments for bruises or a first aid kit at all times bc you never really know when it happens and you need to treat it quickly

the boys always count on you for medical tape when their fingers bleed or whenever watari gets bruises all over his legs bc of too many flying dives

the bench was a common place for you to treat the others and our libero babie was sitting there at one practice

you were kneeled on the floor and gently applying ointment on the growing colors on his skin

‘hmm,,, wata-san, be careful next time, okay? your skin is really soft and pretty. its a shame to ruin it’

he wanted to scoff at the irony and the hypocritical comment but your worried and concerned eyes made him softly smile and nod

‘mhm. i will’

even though it was uneeded on reddened places, you would dig in your bag and fish out a gudetama bandaid on it

it was like a doctor’s signature for you and it makes the boys ltr fall in love with you all over again

ororororor that one time where kindaichi accidentally got a papercut during your study sessions and he was tearing up slightly at the pain

LMAO YALL REALLY OUT HERE TOUGHING OUT PAPERCUTS LIKE ITS NOTHING BUT I ACT LIKE I GOT STABBED 10 TIMES

you grinned at him to show that it was going to be okay and he let you sit on his lap so you could treat it

he still had a pout and you were giving him forehead kisses to calm him down

‘see? its going to be okay. nurse y/n-chan is the best out there and she’ll take care of you!’

he laughed slightly and you victoriously smiled

once it was all wrapped up, you placed a kiss on it

‘ya gotta kiss it to make it better’

not saying im doing a kindaichi route or anything but he may or may not tackled you with kisses with that comment

but sometimes, they would have to be the one to put that bandaid on you

like one day, you were walking down the stairs to go to the changing rooms for practice and humming softly when you caught sight of the tall volleyball player mattsun at the bottom of the stairs

he was just passing by and you noticed him, waving your hand and shouting his name

‘mattsun-san!’

you greeted and he turned and he smiled brightly at you

you excitedly increased your pace going down the stairs, not noticing that you stepped on the edge of the step and caused your foot to slip

unfortunately, mattsun was too far away for him to catch you so you tripped and scraped your knee

he flashnyoomed over to you and kneeled in front of you to examine it

ofc it hurt like hell but you put up a brave front

‘its okay, mattsun-san’

his adorable eyebrows scrunched in concern and he quickly shook his head and gently picked you up to sit 2 steps up

you watched silently as he grabbed ahold of the familiar blue first aid kit from your bag and he opened it to take out alcohol and other treatment things

his fingers worked to open the bottle and pour a little bit of alcohol before he gently reached out to grab your leg

but before that, our babie mattsun is a gentleman and looked up for a permission to help you

‘its okay, mattsun-san’

you giggled and you booped his nose

he was slowly cleaning the wound and you could still tell he was worried with how his brows were still furrowed

‘mattsun-san’

you called out and he looked up

you smiled cutely and looked down, flustered, then met his eyes again

‘i fell for you’

mattsun.exe stopped working

like deadass he blanked for a second then his brain processed what you said and when he did, he dropped the cotton ball and his face blew up red

this babie grimaced, eyes shutting tightly and head leaning on your thigh

you giggled at him and ran your hands through his hair

‘i swear, y/n, i swear’

he kept mumbling and his heartbeat quickened to the point he felt faint and he felt light-headed

you were just too cute

too damn cute for his heart

too damn cute for this world

just too cute

and thats not good

mattsun quickly regained his senses and hurriedly placed the ointment and the bandaid on to finish the job

you reached out with your hands for a hug and mattsun gladly leaned in and you clung to him like a koala which made him hold you tightly against his chest

‘hmm~~~~ thank you, mattsun-san’

you appreciated and gave him a kiss on his cheek in gratitude which made him hide his face in your neck

‘im going to get a heart attack, y/n. take responsibility’

he mumbled, nipping your neck

you chuckled and played with the hair on his neck

‘hm~ okay~ i take responsibility~’

I SWEAR MY MATTSUN SIMP IS NOW PEAKING THROUGH

that was only one of the accidents the seijoh boys went through with you and i swear those boys have superior intelligence in medical care just because you get hurt so much

until that one faithful day

you werent there

you werent at school or at practice

ofc you texted the coaches and the team that you werent going to be at school for a while and they spammed you asking what happened or if you were okay

but you didnt want to worry them so you just said that you were okay and it was just something that happened

ONG OIKAWA ACTUALLY CAME TO YOUR HOUSE BUT YOU TOLD YOUR PARENTS AND NATSU TO TELL HIM TO GO AWAY BC IF HE FINDS OUT WHAT HAPPENED, THE CHILE WILL STORM INTO YOUR ROOM AND LECTURE YOU

HE ONLY WENT AWAY WHEN YOUR DAD CAME OUT WITH A BROOM AND THREATENED TO HIT HIM IF HE CONTINUES TO BOTHER YOU

UKAI VIBES HONESTLY

IS UKAI YOUR FATHER?

CONSPIRACY THEORY?

BUZZFEED UNSOLVED COME SOLVE THIS

then you finally appeared

dear god

kunimi saw you enter the classroom and he almost shot up to saturn when he saw your cast

‘y/n!’

he shouted and kindaichi heard it from his classroom beside yours and he also usain bolted towards your classroom to your desk

the boi texted the team you were here and they all raced to your classroom

EVERYONE WAS HAVING A FIELD DAY WITH THE APPEARANCE OF THE BEAUTIFUL VOLLEYBALL TEAM LIKE THE BOYS + YOU?! GODSEND

oikawa screeched at the sight of your arm and everyone was firing questions at you but you couldnt focus on one so you just sat there sheepishly smiling

‘Y/N! WHAT DID-’

‘I SWEAR ITS LIKE WE HAVE TO-’

‘MY HEART ALMOST DIED!! I THOUGHT YOU DIED-’

thank god your professor entered the shooed them out with a large textbook but your teacher smiled at you

‘l/n, good to have you back’

at lunch, dear god there was a riot

kunimi strong man kunimi hoisted you in his arms and walked over to the hidden team stairwell where everyone was waiting

they all had narrowed eyes and crossed arms, with iwakyo tapping their foot

you did the 🥺👉👈 and their eyes softened at that sight alone

‘you see,,,, i had a,,, concert,,, in the shower,,, and slipped’

they blinked, confusion swirling over everyone’s head

‘excuse me? you said you slipped in the bath?’

‘for a concert?’

‘you sing?’

the team facepalmed at the reason you came in with a broken arm and you pouted at them

‘sorry, captain, everyone. i didnt mean to’

you mumbled but the others couldnt blame you so they pulled you to a group hug

‘i swear, y/n-chan, you will get yourself killed one day’

‘sorry’

you apologized again but oikawa flicked your nose

‘no dont apologize. we’ll just have to be there for you constantly to look out for you’

and he stuck to that word

like oikawa came over to your house early in the morning to pick you up from school and your dad thought it was just him bothering again

so he sighed, placed his newspaper down, took a sip of tea, then stood up to go to the closet for his broom

this mans took a deep breath before opening his door and shouting and waving his broom around maniacally

‘SHUT UP!!! YOURE DISTURBING THE NEIGHBORS!! I WILL BEAT YOUR LOUD CRUSTY DUSTY-’

that woke up everyone in the house and you bolted down the stairs, terrified yet chuckling at the sight

then something happened for everyone in the neighborhood-or Japan- to wake up

yanno the drill ladies and gents

oikawa screamed

a/n: sorry i disappeared for a HOT SEC but im back!! and we finally going back to the groove!!! and uwu thanks for sticking by and waiting for another update and the next one might be my first not-seijoh work in a LONG WHILE so look forward to that!!!

432 notes · View notes

lilyclawthorne · 3 years ago

Text

Keeping Up A-fear-ance's Thoughts

I finished writing this shortly after 3 am after watching the new episode like three times because I simply had too much energy about it and I have so many thoughts because I simply live for clawthornes and also I tried to break it up with more photos this time sorry not sorry if it's a lot ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

YOUNG EDA!! let me just say I am quite a fan of opening with a flashback like we've done here and the last episode

"we have never seen a curse like this before" Lilith you had shit luck picking out curses huh

"cut it out if we have to" goddamn Gwen let'a calm the fuck down a bit.

anyways we've only really seen young Eda as a wild and confident and happy little child so I appreciate seeing this side of her with the anxiety and fear she's feeling here. I love seeing what the curse stuff was like for her as a kid

Gwen: I raised a perfectly fine kid

Me: no you didn't look at her she's got anxiety

I'm guessing this is their backyard or just some woods behind their house?? wonder if the portal was placed there by another elder family member.

lmao I can't even begin to imagine what small Eda experiencing the human realm was like for the first time

Gwens giving me "I can't accept that my child is disabled/chronically ill/etc." here. y’know the kinda parent that'll put their kid through hell over something they probably will find a way to learn to live with (which Eda did do)

ok that's it I humbly request to know the story behind the fang now (also the noise she made when she put it in was freaking cute)

new dress! new boots! new dress! new boots!

..yikes that fridge is empty

"calm down the curse acts stronger when you're stressed" Eda do you know who you're talking to here

confirmation losing limbs is in fact a side effect of the curse!! (y'know since Eda originally said it just happens when you get older)

please I love these sisters they're so sweet and make me wanna go 🥺

"suddenly curious about my past" "always. always curious" Luz says exactly what we all think

witchlet?? sweet flea?? she's got pet names for them 🥺 (although idk how much I'd like to be referred to as any kind of flea sorry Lilith)

ok Gwen is very much not close to what I expected and I'm kinda grateful for that

she's more like super caring but still managed to royally fuck up which was my original head canon for clawthorne parents so uh that's cool. but literally, look at their body language, Eda's pissed, Lilith's sad and making herself small. she's clearly messed up with her parenting on both of them along the way.

"who knows what they put in those nasty concoctions?" mama clawthorne would be a fucking anti-vaxxer wouldn't she

ok I side with Eda here more than Luz and Lilith. just because Luz misses her mother, or Lilith hasn’t seen their mom in so long doesn’t mean Eda has to feel all grateful for the presence of Gwen, especially if the woman has caused her a lot of trouble over the years

I feel like the fact that its actually both Lilith and Gwendolyn have spent their whole lives dedicated to trying to find a cure could probably have held some kind of weight on Eda at some point. Even though she shouldn't feel guilty or responsible for that, I still feel like it's gotta suck knowing these people have spent so much time on something you know is likely never gonna happen, all for you.

Lilith 😞 her mother really just didn't pay attention to her all these years

hey if this guy does some next level healing magic then why isn't he more well-known, huh? why’d it take so long to come across him?? Gwen do you know what the fuck you're doing cause I think you don't

Lilith just because you're depressed about your mom doesn't mean you have to bring king down too 😠

SUPER irrelevant but is anyone else just bothered by the way Lilith is holding her spoon?? that doesn't seem like a comfortable way to hold a spoon. also is she left handed??

"knife season came early" EDA WHAT DOES THAT MEAN. is this a boiling isles things or is this a it’s common for people to throw knives at you thing

also I want to be surprised Eda fell for the apple blood signs but I am not 😔

Luz please trust you're gut on this one and not mama clawthorne

ok now I need to know why the fridge was empty but they had 18 cartons of ice cream this is why you guys don't have food you're wasting it all on ice cream.

wow never thought I'd see the day hooty became the voice of reason

also, night market ice cream?? are they implying this ice cream is like, edibles of some sort?? Lilith does seem kinda high here ngl. idk man but at least she wants to stand up for herself so good for her.

PLEASE kings just offering her ice cream while she transforms

"first in a series" Gwen honey oh no. you've been duped. I think we can see where Lilith got her naïveté from huh.

Also, nice snatch Luz 😊

anyways love how this show is basically making fun of moms who refuse to give their kids proper medical treatment or listen to medical professionals here

EXCUSE ME why do we know Gwen's palisman's name before we know Lilith's?????

"I am a mother who'll do anything for her daughter" you're mom who's suffocating obsession with one daughter has left the other neglected and is currently causing her to turn into a full on beast ya dummy

Eda DOES have a right to be upset. it sucks that her own valid emotions that she should get to feel will cause her while body to betray her.

PLEASE I’M SO GLAD LILITH’S BEAST DESIGN LOOKS LIKE HER AND IS NOT THE THING FROM THE TRAILER THAT IS ACTUALLY IN EDA"S HEAD WHEN SHE’S TRANSFORMED

but also why is she SO massive?? also anyone concerned that this is her first transformation and the light glyph trick wouldn't even work??

Gwen look at what you've done, you've fostered feelings of inferiority in one daughter causing her to feel the need for sibling rivalry that the pure instincts of the raven beast cannot suppress no matter how much their sisterly relationship had improved.

HOW COULD YOUR OTHER DAUGHTER ALSO BEING CURSED BE A PART OF THE PROCESS GWEN??

"after Eda was cursed, I joined the beast keeping coven" woah woah WOAH. you're telling me you only joined because of trying to help Eda. that covens existed, before Eda got cursed, and you very much weren't a part of one. combine that with "some words for belos" she has and do I smell wild witch theory still plausible???

anyways at least mama clawthorne is getting some sense into her head here

Morton c'mon help a girl out, that's some dang good art too what the heck dude

ok fine mama clawthorne to the rescue

no pls not raven beast Lilith crying im crying now

Gwen: I raised a fine and self-sufficient child

Me: no you didn't look at her. she's got, SO MUCH.

GODDAMN THATS SOME POWER. ngl this only adds fuel to the fire in my head that there was some kinda reasoning these sisters were torn apart, that someone felt they'd be too powerful together (and they were probably right)

"I heard you but I couldn't stop myself, I couldn't do anything" may be just because she's not used to the curse but again part of me is concerned that because she couldn't pull herself out of it even a little bit like Eda did that there's something wrong there. but she also could've been stressed beyond reasonably calming herself down too.

ok but this is sweet

NOOO im so sad Lilith's leaving :( I literally cried ok

"you lived here?" fine OKAY king that was hilarious even if im sad about this

"reconnect with dad" excuse me where the fuck has this man been in the middle of all of this. curse shit is going DOWN and he's just chilling at home.

I am curious about people's thoughts regarding the whole Lilith regression thing and the fact that she's literally going to be living with her parents again. I feel like it could help nurture that inner child she's been reverting back to and help her out a LOT. but I could also be concerned about it feeding into the regression and making it worse?? idk and this show probably ain't getting that actually deep into psych anyways

"some day my hair is gonna be big enough to do that too" Luz I cannot wait for the day. also mood, I wish I could do that too.

alright who's holding the fucking pen for hooty we need a volunteer RIGHT NOW so we can remain in contact with Lulu

NOT THE ONLY HUMAN? my bets on the real azura rip never mind she said he

Titan’s Blood?? interesting. If the blood of the titan is around I wonder what that means regarding the titans existence, and how long its been since the titan fell.

AHH BABY LUZ PHOTO

ALSO WHO THE FUCK IS THAT?? They're really gonna spring that on us like this??? Camila's gotta notice somethings wrong right??? Unless any differences she just chalks up to the camp?? oh god :(

well, anyways lumity shippers come get yo juice next weekend

anyways im gonna need to add a NOT canon compliant tag on that one Gwendolyn fic I wrote because it definitely do not comply anymore

#toh #the owl house #owl house #keeping up afearances #keeping up a-fear-ances

29 notes · View notes

darkelite020 · 3 years ago

Text

Bad Batch thoughts & predictions Ep 7

Continuing these written reactions/predictions somewhere cause itd be fun I think to see what actually ends up happening and remembering what I thought at the time so im dumping it here, youre welcome. (Feel free to discuss if you want) if you want to keep up with it im gonna be tagging these as #jay rambles about bb

- Ruby? Did I forget? Who/what is Ruby? -- Oh ok. Interesting bounty I suppose. - Wrecker and Omega have a completing mission tradition? That is SO cute. - Hooded person is here >> -- I’m still holding out on my rex or ahsoka predicition because I think it would make sense for the sisters to call them since theyre friends with ahsoka and obviously she knows about clones and Rex is/was with her last we saw him... but the hooded persons eyes definitely aren’t ahsokas so I think it’s rex and if it is Im gonna be so happy - “Thats not her ugly side?” FFF Tech you bastard I love you - I SEE THE WHITE AND BLUE ARMORED ARM IM GONNA SCREAM - I’M SCREAMING -- REX I MISSED YOU SO MUCH I’M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU AGAIN AHHHHH --- I KIND OF POKED FUN AT MYSELF THIS WEEK REBLOGGING A MEME OF A GRANDMA SAYING ‘REX WILL BE IN THE NEXT EPISODE’ AND SOME YOUNGER PERSON EXCORTING THEM AND SAYING SOMETHING LIKE ‘OK GRANDMA LETS GET YOU INSIDE’ OR SOME SHIT BUT **VIOLENTLY POINTING AT THE SCREEN** MY LOVE IS HERE - Cid shut the fuck up he is a KING how dare you - Oh no. Oh god. “thats a long story.” Is he going to talk to him about his pov with 66 and about the ship and Jesse AND FIVES OH FUCK -- So it skipped to Rex talking about the end of the war but we didn’t hear really the story itself, and I really hope thats not all we get when it comes to him talking about the people he and at least echo knew. Like if he talked about Fives learning about the chips and not being listened to and that resulted in 66 because of the chips where activated and made them betray the jedi but we get no reaction from Echo I’m going to be pretty disappointed honestly. Like I get the bad batch not really knowing the squad so they have excuses but Echo did, and I really hope they don’t do the thing “Oh well Echo was caught by droids so now he doesn’t care about them anymore” because... that sucks. Like honestly Echo wasn’t even super crazy about seeing Rex either tbh (I get that Echo feels like he doesn’t fit in with regs and thats all fine and dandy) but it kinda feels like he doesn’t give a shit about what he’s gone through with other people. ---Rambling and getting off topic now because I have some shit between Echo and Fives: but if thats the case like we all know it fucked up Fives when he thought Echo was dead so if Echo isn’t the same way about Fives I guess thats just like... depressing and it sucks because everyone sees them as “that duo”. Again we really don’t know what Rex said exactly so its possible it didnt get brought up but if it did... - Wrecker picking up Rex is so cute but you can see the fucking worry in Rex’s eyes for being picked up by him cause Wrecker would throw him and agjsdb I love it. - Omega straight up being like “youre old” while looking at Rex’s face PFFT no filter kid. - REX KNOWS ABOUT WRECKER -- Good I’m very happy Rex is calling them out on this inhibitor chip shit. ‘Oh crosshair was just an exception’ should definitely not be an excuse. - Oh alright so the glimpse in the trailer was a junkyard and not the same thing. Same kind of ship but not where the graveyard is. Honestly thats kind of a relief. - OH SHIT I WAS TALKING ABOUT FIVES NOW THEY ARE BRINGING HIM UP IM GONNA CRY ABOUT FIVES ALL OVER AGAIN -- wait.... now I don’t know if they know or not about him. - The scenery in this show is really pretty im just gonna go ahead and give some appreciation. - Oh no Wrecker! Pull up the rope!!!!!! He can climb but you can also pull him!!!! -- Thank god. - Omega talking about if something goes wrong? It’s not like theyre all gonna die at the same exact time.... like theyre only gonna do the surgery one at a time so... Omega what are you imagining sis? Like if one person turns? It’s still kind of unlikely that they could defeat the other very talented people in the room. - OH SHIT TECH YELL FOR HELP - HEY THIS HURTS MY FEELINGS DAVE HEY HEY -- LIKE YEAH THEY CANT POSSIBLY KILL THEM ALL CAUSE THE SHOW NEEDS TO GO ON BUT HEY --- Lowkey predicting they could all turn by the end of the show season cause like if they dont beat wrecker and cant use the medical bay then they are fucked. Also especially think this is gonna happen because one of the directors literally said the second half of season 1 is gonna get emotional and holy shit can you imagine. ---- WHAT IF THEY DO AND ITS JUST OMEGA AND REX TEAMING UP TO SAVE THEM HOLY SHIT AND ITD GIVE EVEN MORE OF A MEANING TO THE WORDS “THE BAD BATCH” - Holy shit this fight Wrecker grabbed ECHO BY HIS FUCKING FACE - Ok I was seriously wondering about Omega’s concerns but now HOLY SHIT CAUSE THATS ALL I CAN SAY LIKE THEYRE NOT DEAD BUT OH MY GOD I DIDN’T THINK ITD GO DOWN LIKE THIS - THANK YOU REX OUR HERO - I know we’re all having a moment after Wrecker but can you guys like team up to move him off the table and get your own done like even if its a bit risky cause we don’t need a repeat of what just happened like yeah theres not enough time in the episode for it but still - The *immediate* little head pat “Hey kid” ;-;

- Ok I’m glad theyre getting them out - THE GENTLE REASSURING TOUCHES IN THIS EPISODE *deep breath* ARE GIVING ME SERATONIN - Wreckers apology ;-; THIS IS SO FUCKING SAD AND CUTE - Rex is leaving already? :( Be safe you funky little space soldier. - Not really surprised the empire is gonna know they were there cause it was only a matter of time but if theyre smart theyd get off planet and back to Cid before the empire gets there to see whats up. -- Im sure they’ll realize they removed their chips though, I wonder if crosshair will show up (he probably will) but if he does rather its gonna be a fight there between the empire and bb maybe the bb can win and save crosshair or they have to retreat and something else goes on idk. - Would love if Crosshair was saved because he really got the short end of the stick and is being called “the bad batch” but like he’s not even really there with them for the show so far... also you can tell subtly that he doesn’t like being alone which is fucking sad :tm: because all his friends are gone and it hurts even more now because wrecker was talking about how he didn’t want to do things and he was trying not to hurt them and stuff in his apology and you know damn well Crosshair is the same way about his friends he’s probably just a lot less expressive about it. -- Honestly even bad batch aside can you imagine how terrible all of the clones feel like all the regs over all knowing theyre the downfall of the jedi and thinking that they were trying to resist it too. Like they know whats happening and deep inside theyre themselves but they cant do shit about it. That fucking hurts me. This is a longer post but this episode was a roller coaster for my emotions.

#the bad batch #bad batch spoilers episode 7 #tcw spoilers #jay rambles about bb #the clone wars #the clone wars spoilers #tcw #star wars #bad batch spoilers

11 notes · View notes

xmalereader · 5 years ago

Text

Alfie Solomons X Male Reader

|| Masterlist ||

Requested: Hey hun, hope I'm sending this the right place, if not then excuse me, I'm new to this ahaha. I wanted to request something with Alfie. I was thinking something about Alfie and the reader being together and the workers starts harassing the reader and Alfie is not having any of it and just to whatever else you please. If it's shit then feel free to deny it. Love your page and stories ❤❤

Warnings: Harassment, soft Alfie and protective, slight homophobia, mentions of rape, violence, language.

@ravnulfjohansen

He didn’t want to go to work, he didn’t want to deal with any of the others. He’s been dealing with this harassment for awhile now and he hasn’t told anyone about it since he is able to handle it himself, he was a big boy and knows how to defend himself against others but the thing is that Alfie, the Alfie Solomons was the man in charge of all of the men that worked in the bakery and he was also his boyfriend.

The big man had a male as his bed warmer and nobody noticed until the day they were caught almost doing it in his office by one of the workers. Alfie had threatened the man that had caught them to keep his mouth shut but of course the whole bakery had caught on about Alfies little affair with another man.

Some of his men didn’t agree with this but they had to remain silent in order to survive the big man from doing anything to them. So instead of letting their anger out on the big boss they decided to attack Y/n instead and show him how much they disapproved about this.

Its been going on for months now and Alfie hasn’t noticed and he wishes that he doesn’t. He was strong and could handle the problem on his own, but sometimes he feels like he isn’t strong enough, feeling weak each time they approach him or corner him somewhere in the bakery, shouting and yelling insults as Y/n tries to push them away, trying to bury away the hurt. Thats why he didn’t want to go to work but if he missed a day it’ll bring Alfie suspicion and he’ll ask him why he wasn’t at the bakery today.

Gripping the covers close around his neck he lets out a deep sigh and slowly sits up from his bed. He takes in the peaceful silence before getting out of bed and getting ready for the day, he made sure to eat something, heading out of his apartment as he walks to the bakery since he lived rather close to it.

It doesn’t take long for him to arrive, skipping steps as he enters from the back. Once he steps inside the factor he is met with a gust of heat and sweat, groaning to himself as he makes his way over to Alfies office. He’s usually earlier than anyone else as he enters the office without knocking.

“Morning Ollie, Alfie.” He nods to the two as Ollie gives him a smile. Alfie could only hum in response as he reads through some letters that he had received this morning. He walks over to the coat hanger and hangs up his own coat and hat and slips on the apron. Tying it behind his back as he approaches Alfies desk, “What’s the schedule like today?”

“You’ll be helping in the back with the others,” Alfie sets his glasses down and looks up to see y/n, noticing the bags under his eyes as he frowns. “Sleeping well darling?” He suddenly asks as y/n raises a brow and reaches up to touch his eyes, he knows that he can’t lie to him since he can easily read him. “Not really, just been a little stressed over my family.” Technically he wasn’t lying, his mother was in the hospital sick, giving him the reason to be working here for the extra money that he earns so that he could buy her proper medicine while his younger sister worked her way through medical school. They were a small family of three and since he is the man of the family its his duty to support them, no matter what.

“Mother doing alright?” Alfie asks next, bringing y/n back from his thoughts. “She’s slowly getting better.” He responds quickly, noticing how Alfie kept staring at him as if he was studying him and somehow he couldn’t figure something out. “I should head to work, don’t want the others to do all of the heavy work.” He chuckles out softly.

Alfie can only nod. “right, Ollie.” He gestures to the man next to him as y/n follows Ollie out and into the open factory.

“It can’t keep going like this.” He hears Ollie whisper as the two walk side by side.

Ollie was the only one in the factory that knew what was going on during working hours, he’s tried to warn Alfie but Y/n always stopped him, begging him to not say a word. Alfie already had his hands full with the Irish and he didn’t want to add anymore trouble. So, he begged Ollie to not say anything.

“You know I can’t tell him, he’ll lose his mind and he’s already struggling with handaling the Irish. I can handle the trouble Ollie so—“ he sighs deeply. “thank you for worrying but I’ve got it.” He gives Ollie a pat on the shoulder as he walks ahead and towards the back of the bakery where all of his troubles were waiting for him.

As he walks down the narrow alley he heads towards his own station. “Well look who decided to show up.” He rolls his eyes as he begins to roll up his sleeves. “You know, Fred, that dough isn’t going to ball itself up.” He shot back, glaring at the older man that stood a few feet away from him.

Fred can only glare in hatred as he approaches y/n. “You think you can boss us around? Just becuase your fucking Solomon’s doesn’t mean you’re the big boss around here.” He snarls out as y/n stands tall.

“I’m no ones boss I’m just doing my job by making sure that we get things finished on time.” Y/n crosses his arms over his chest, smirking at the man in front of him as he steps forward, closing in the space between them. “What? Jealous that I can at least fuck someone unlike you?” He scoffs. “The reason why you work here is becuase their is no one out there who cares for you.” With that he is shoved back harshly against the table.

“You fucking queer!”

Y/n grunts, lifting a leg he knees the man in the gut, shoving him back as he falls onto the floor. “Get your filthy hands off me.” He hisses out.

Fred had a hand over his bruised up abdomen as he sits up, coughing in pain. “Come on boys show him what we got.” He says as the rest of the men that worked around the station smirked and laughed, approaching him and cornering him.

Y/n glares, reaching behind him as he takes ahold of one of the knives. Gripping it in his hand as he watches the group approach. He feels one of them grab his arm, causing an alarm to go off inside him as he swings the blade in his hand and slashes it across the others arm.

The man groans in pain as he grips his injured arm. “You fucking fuck!”

Y/n steps back, feeling another approaching him from host left. He doesn’t hesitate to stab the blade into the man’s shoulder, but before he can pull it out to use it again he is shoved down. “Get off!!” He kicks his legs as they pin him down onto the floor. The same man that he had injured earlier was standing over him with a wicked smile on his face. “let show you what a true man can do.” He says as he starts to unbuckle his belt.

Y/n’s eyes widen in horror as he notices what was going on and what was going to happen. “No, no, NO!!” He shouts out as he continues to kick his legs around, he is able to kick him in the knee, causing the other to fall on his knees in pain. “Why you—“ before he could do anything else a gun shot is heard, causing them all to freeze.

“What the blood hell is going on?!”

He recognizes Aflies voice as its full of anger and disgust.

“Let ‘im go.”

The men don’t hesitate to remove themselves from y/n as he slowly sat up, pressing himself up against the as he lets out a nervous sigh. “Ollie.” Alfie says, Ollie already knowing what that meant as he walks over to y/n, helping him up and making sure that he wasn’t injured. “I’m sorry.” He whispers to him, already knowing that Ollie had told Alfie about the situation, “its fine.”

He glanced over Ollie’s shoulder to see Alfie glaring at the other men that had tried to rape him. He slowly makes his way over to him with Ollie helping him walk, he was still a little shaken up by the events but he was also angry, his body still full of anger.

“What you lot did is unforgivable, one of our top rules is rape and we do not appreciate that stuff around here.” Said Alfie as he approaches the group. “And you lot broke that rule.”

The room is silent as y/n stands behind him, glaring at the others in silent, he noticed Fred standing on the right side of the group as he opens his mouth to say. “Having a queer around makes us all unsafe.”

Wrong move.

“Unsafe?” Alfie moves over to stand infront of Fred. “Unsafe.” He repeats again in silence before grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and pulling him roughly towards him. “What’s he going to do to you? Rape you, just like you almost did to him?!” He shouted, causing Fred to flinch.

“You listen here—“ he shoves him back. “you all better listen.” He points to everyone in the group that stood infront of him. “I don’t want a repeat of this, now if all of you have a problem with y/n working here then you can all leave but I wont promise that some of you will make it out alive.” He warns.

Y/n scoffs, these men weren’t going to learn their lesson he already knows that they’ll try it again when Alfie isn’t around. They’ll continue on with the harassment and it’ll never stop unless he is gone.

“What about y/n?” Said the man who tried to rape him.

“What about him?”

“He attacked us with a knife, almost killed us!”

Y/n growls and without thinking he snatches Ollie’s gun off his belt, approaching the man that tried to rape him and points the gun to his head, without hesitanting he pulls the trigger, causing the shot to echo around them as the mans body falls limp. “There.” He breaths out in anger and glares at the others who flinched away from his deadly stare. “Next time you try this again ill make sure to put a bullet in each and every one of your heads.” He waves the gun around until it lands on Fred.

Grinning mischievously he shoots him in the leg, causing Fred to fall onto the floor as he screams in agony and pain. “you deserved it.” Said y/n, turning his back and heading out of the back room, making sure to hand Ollie his gun back as he makes his way towards Alfies office.

Once he enters the office he yanks his apron off and throws it on the floor in anger, he walks to the corner of the room where the couch was set and falls onto it. Waiting for Alfie to arrive. He can hear the sound of tapping boots as he looks up to see Alfie and Ollie.

“Ollie, leave us will ya?”

Ollie can only look at Alfie and the at y/n before looking back at Alfie and nodding. “Yes, sir.” He says and leaves the office, making sure to close the double doors behind him. Once the doors clicked shut the room is full of silence, y/n is the first to break it. “Sorry that I ruined your walls.” He mutters out, referring to the ‘paint’ job that he gave back there.

Alfie Can only chuckle as he approaches y/n, “don’t matter, he deserved it.” He admits as he sits next to y/n who hums in response. “You alreayd know that I don’t appreciate rapists working in my factory.”

“So your saying that I did good thing from your check list?” Y/n rasies a brow and smiles as his own joke.

Alfie smirks, shaking his head. “You could say that.” He moves closer and wraps his arms around y/ns waist, pulling him close and into a hug. “Why didn’t you tell me about this?”

Y/n sighs against his shoulder. “I didn’t want to add anymore baggage on you, your already dealing with enough so I didn’t—I couldn’t.” Alfie genlty takes ahold of y/n’s face, lifting his head so that he can look at his boyfriend.

“Who else has hurt you.”

“No one else just them.” Y/n whispers out.

Alfie eyes him, believing his response as he leans down to capture his lips into a kiss. Y/n leans into it as he closes his eyes.

He feels Alfie pull away and brush his nose against his. “If this happens again I’m going to kill them.”

Y/n chuckles softly. “I don’t mind.” He opens his eyes to stare into Alfies blue ones. “I found it really attractive when you killed him.” He blurts out, earning a laughing from y/n. “Then maybe I should kill the rest, show you my feisty side.” He bites his lip and smirks at him.

Alfie groans as he pulls y/n into another deep kiss and pushes him down against the couch with y/n giggling at his actions.

#peaky blinders #peaky blinders x male reader #alfie solomons #alfie solomons x male reader #male reader #thomas shelby #thomas shelby x male reader #tom hardy #cillian murphy x male reader #tom hardy x male reader

408 notes · View notes

yn-dreamlife · 4 years ago

Text

Can you hear me?

Bakugo Katsuki x reader (hero name: Elementas)

Quirk: Quantification of Emotions (shorten to QoE), basically whatever emotion your feeling strongest (out of six) will allow you to control that element. Your hair also changes to that color.

Emotions:

Anger, vivid red, wind

Sadness, pastel blue, water

Longing/Love, white, light

Happiness, pink, fire

Loneliness, black, darkness

Confusion/Anxiousness, green, earth

Summary: There was a villain attack and as your about to die you think of your last words to Katsuki.

warings: yelling, swearing, angst, like ANGST, character death, blood, villan attack, blood, depression, fluff?

Song: Train Wreck, James Arthur (I hope that works, I've never done this before)

Word count: 3206

Laying in the silence Waiting for the sirens Signs, any signs I'm alive still

Coughing I look around me. “Wha-” I place a hand on my forehead feeling a liquid underneath my palms. “What’s happening?” I speak as my ears ring and I see a red fluid on my hand.

I look around and see the chaos around me. All around me is ruble, I can't see an inch of sky. I look around seeing the dust flying around the air, the small fire scattered around trying to find anything amongst the concrete to consume and stay alive with.

At least I can't see any civilians around me, thats a good sign. As I continue to assess my surroundings, even with my blurry vision and ringing ears know that the villain is gone, or at least not near me.

When I finally look down at my own body I wince. There was a giant metal rod sticking out of my abdomen, I guess the adrenaline must be preventing the full brunt of the pain. As I look at it and see the amount of blood being lost I know I won't be saved.

I don't wanna lose it I'm not getting through this

Tears well in my eyes as the regret swims into my heart. I don't want to die like this. I don't want to die not knowing if everyone is safe. I don't want to die not knowing if Katsuki is okay. I don't want to die in pain.

Of course every hero knows the risk, we’ve known since we where in high school. But it doesn't mean anyone actively wants this to be there way out.

Everyone deep down hopes for a peaceful death. Or at least to die with those we love.

Hey, should I pray? should I pray To myself? To a God? To a saviour who can Unbreak the broken

What if I could make it? What if I scream loud enough? Can I even scream right now? And even if I can who's to say it'll get to the surface? And I would want them to get the civilians first. “Damnit!” I try to yell but all I can manage is a weak whimper.

“I should be stronger than this!” I said as my throat constricted. ‘God I sound just like Suki.’ the thought of him makes my heart clench. ‘I shouldn't have said all those things. I shouldn't have-’ I was swept up in the memory of my last conversation with him.

Unsay these spoken words Find hope in the hopeless

“Jesus y/n what is wrong with you?!” He screamed at me. “Like can you calm the fuck down for once?!”

I scoffed at him whirling around on him. “I need to calm down?! Don’t you tell me to calm down!”

“You're the one who started all of this!” He screamed at me.

“And you’re the one who flirts with other people!” I fire back.

He scoffs again, “I wasn't flirting with her! It’s not my fault you're so insecure that you think that you shitty woman!”

My face drops slightly more sadness seaping into my heart. “Why do you think im so insecure Kasuki? You call me shitty woman every other sentence! You talk about how great other girls are and how strong they are! You-”

“You know thats just how I am! And I don't talk about them romantically im taking about them from a hero stand point! Shouldn't you be happy now that I don't look down on every single person!” He screamed his quirk popping off in frustration.

“Yeah I know thats how you are but it still an hurt me you dick! And it’s different when those girls are clearly in love with you!” he scoffs “If you tell me they aren't I swear to god you must be really blind!” I scream again.

“Of course I don't notice because why would I when I have a girlfriend!|?!” He screams.

“Do you?!” I shout the words spilling out of my mouth. “Because it doesn't always feel like you want to!” his next words break my heart.

“Maybe I don't!” I watch his face drop the second the words leave his mouth. “y/n- wait I didn't-” But I cut him off as my alarm goes off.

“I have to go to work. At least I know they need me.” I whisper bitterly.

“Y/n wait! We can't leave it like this!” he calls frantically after me.

“You never had a problem leaving me heartbroken before. Why care now?” and with that I got in my car driving away as the tears streamed down my face.

Pull me out of the train wreck Unburn the ashes

When I got to work I quickly dismissed anyone at my hero agency as they asked what was wrong. I even ignored Kirishima, who was one of my best friends. “Go ask you ‘Bakubro’” I muttered bitterly at my fellow hero.

I looked to my side kick, she was nice. She wasn't a cocky self assured teen like me and my classmates where. Both me and her quickly left to patrol. I was happy when she started rambling about the latest guy she found an interest in instead of asking me what was wrong.

Not that I didn't appreciate my colleagues concern I just didn't want to think about it. Or I didn't want to talk about it, theres no way im not thinking about it. Even now, I couldn't help but tune out my sidekick/intern as my thoughts where consumed with my final words.

“You never had a problem leaving me heartbroken before. Why care now?” Damnit I know thats not true and yet I still said it. Katsuki always at least texts me after wards, and he’s never left without muttering some form of I love you. I moved to pull out my phone when I suddenly heard screaming. I look up to see five of our most wanted villians up ahead wreaking havoc. I stop my phone Turing to my intern who looks ready to fight.

Unchain the reactions, I'm not ready to die, not yet Pull me out of the train wreck Pull me out, pull me out, pull me out

”No.” I said placing a hand on her shoulder. She looks at me shocked as I continue. “I need you to help civilians.”

She hesitates,”But I can help-”

“I know but these guys are to strong. Please trust me, I want you making it out of this alive. Go help the civilians. If you have to I give you my permission to use your quirk for defense and defense only. Do you understand?” No response

“Minako!” she stares at me “Please, you're like my kid, don't make me beg.” Tears well in her eyes and she nods before running off and I run onto the scene.

I should have known the second I asked her not to fight that this wouldn't end well. I should of said something to him before I left. I should have-

Pull me out, pull me out Underneath our bad blood We still got a sanctum, home Still a home, still a home here

I was pulled from my thoughts as coughs ripped there way through my throat. the pain in my stomach worsening. Was I really going to die like this? Filled with regrets and what ifs?

No. I still have people to live for. I still have things I need to do, things to say. A man to kiss and marry and love all I can do know is hope.

‘Please, damnit if someone is out there please help me. I know I don't pray enough, hell I know I don't deserve this but god damnit Im selfish. Im selfish and I want to live longer. I want to get married and have kids. I want to at least kiss him one last time. I don't even have to live, just let me hear him say I love you one last time. let me hold him again.’

As these thoughts consumed me I didn't notice the light blooming around me becoming brighter and brighter.

It's not too late to build it back 'Cause a one-in-a-million chance Is still a chance, still a chance

“Y/N!!” I heard someone scream. “Y/n baby hold on!” he screamed again. My light glowed brighter.

“Katsuki!” I cried.

“Thats right! Im here princess I’m gonna get you out of there okay?!” I dint respond knowing he wasn't really answering.

“Hurry Deku please!” Deku was here? after a moment he spoke again “Riot! Cellophane! Thank god you are here! Please you have to help me I can't blast through the rubble I might crush her!” He cried frantically.

I saw some rubble begin falling next to me and screamed on instinct. “Oi be careful!!” He screamed.

“Ground zero!” I heard a familiar voice.

“S-sensei?!”

‘What? Easers here? But- he's retired.’

“You need to stop shouting, your friends are here trying to help you. We both know they mean her no harm.” I can only assume he nodded because there was no more shouting, but there was also no more anything. Not a single sound.

And I would take those odds Unbreak Unsay these spoken words

“H-Hello?” I called

“Don't worry Y/n-chan we’re still here!” I heard deku yell. I sighed relieved.

“Y/n!” I heard red riot or as I know him Kirishima call out. “Pop quiz whats Eraser heads child named?!” He yells out, and confusion builds in me.

‘What? He has a kid? Oh my god is the kid here?!’ I thought anxiously.

“Now!” I hear cellophane or Sero scream and before I knew it the rubble was being ripped away but I saw some coming towards me before I could think I manipulated the earth around me into a ball.

“Yes!” I heard them all collectively say, except for katsuki.

“Y/n! You're okay its okay!” He said as I placed the earth back and he ran over to me. He went to touch me but stopped short. “Oh god, princess!” he exclaimed looking down at my abdomen.

Find hope in the hopeless Pull me out the train wreck

“We need some help over here! Anyone who has a strong healing quirk get over here now we have a hero down!” He screamed but I didnt care about the pain, I didnt care about the medic. All I cared about was him.

“You came.” I whispered he looked to me and cupped my cheek.

“Im always gonna come for you.” He said softly smiling down at me as tears leaked from both our eyes.

“Im sorry.” I whimper out and he shakes his head. My eyes begin feeling heavier.

“no no no!” he says shaking me slightly “Don't apologize just keep your eyes open for me, yeah?”

“Can you hold me?” I whisper.

“I can't move you if I do-”

“Please suki, I want to feel you hold me one last time.” I whimper my eyes getting heavier.

Unburn the ashes Unchain the reactions, I'm not ready to die, not yet

“Well then I have great news, and that’s the fact that I’ll hold you for the rest of our lives but I can't move you princess.” I shake my head smiling sadly.

“Katsuki.” I hear a soft voice whisper and look to see a teary eyed Kirishima.

“N-no!” he screams at him. “She’ll be fine!” he looks to me now. “you’ll be fine!” I shake my head my hair turning a murky blue.

He relents and eventually very quickly pulls me off of the pipe. But I don't make a sound, I don't even wince. I don't feel the pain at all my body to numb.

Pull me out the train wreck Pull me out, pull me out, pull me out Pull me out, pull me out, pull me out

I smile as he pulls me into his arms, “Thank you.” I whisper.

“Anything for you princess.” He cups my cheek and wipes the tears that are still slipping from my eyes.

“Im sorry.” we say in unison.

“I shouldn't have been so insecure.” I whisper, and he shakes his head.

“No baby no. I shouldn't have been so insensitive and I shouldn't have said what I said. I never question my love for you, or me wanting to be with you.” He says placing his forehead on my own.

“I love you.” I whisper.

a sob leaves his throat. “I-i love you too.” he sobs holding me to him. I try to lift my hand but I can't. I feel a gentle material curling around my wrist and pulling it around his neck. I look to see Mr. Aizawas capture weapon I smile up at him.

“Damnit where are they!” Katsuki yells pulling away from me. I see a team frantically running to us but before they get to me I feel my eyes growing to heavy.

“Be happy...Suki” I whisper as the darkness envelops me.

You can say what you like 'cause see, I would die for you

I, I'm down on my knees and I need you to be my God Be my help, be a savior who canUnbreak the broken

Katsuki watches as you eyes close, “N-No!” He screams. “Hurry up , please!” He calls out to the people who run impossibly quicker. Once they get there and he has to place you down he automatically wants to hold you again. But he's held back and he sees its Deku who’s holding him back.

He wants to rip his hand off of him but he can't find the strength in himself so he relents and allows the freckled boy to pull him away. He sees his red haired friend and doesn't hesitate to accept the hug he gives him.

he balls his hands against the gears of his friends hero costume. “Damnit kiri I can't lose her!” he sobs. No one says anything, theres nothing they can say. No words can comfort the fiery blonde except for your own.

but he does pull away from his friend as he sees them placing you on a gurney and begin rushing away.

“Wait!” he calls after them.

“Sir you can't come with us you have to meet us there its to risky!” A female medic says as sets pumping oxygen into your lungs.

“I can drive you!” He hears a voice behind him say quickly. He turns to see who only to see your side-kick Minako. He nods and quickly runs to her car.

The drive there was silent, he isn't even mad at her which shocks both of them. She breaks the silence whispering, “She begged me to help the civilians.” he nods still remaining silent. “I should have- I should have been there.” just then a sob rips through her throat.

Katsuki looks to her remaining silent for a long moment. “She would have been devistated if you had you gotten hurt.” he whispers.

“huh?” she glances over to him quickly before looking back to the road.

“she talks about you all the time, she feels a motherly bond to you.” he whispers.

“s-she was serious about that?” She asks wiping her cheeks.

“Yeah, maybe because she never had a mother figure or maybe because you remind her so much of herself. But she does, and I know she's tankful for all the civilians you helped save.” The girl nods smiling softly.

Unsay these reckless words (find hope in the hopeless) Pull me out of the train wreck

When they arrive to the hospital they both quickly run to the front desk.

“Elementas, I need to know what room elements is in!” Bakugo cries.

“Mr. Ground zero sir you can't see her yet.” the nurse states standing up and stopping him from running off.

“Why the hell not?!” He screams fist firing off slightly.

“She had to go straight into surgery.” the woman states calmly. Bakugo grunts as he sits down.

twenty minutes later the same nurse approaches. “Sir they've already set up her room you tow may wait for her there but when they ask you to leave you-” before she could finish Minako interrupts.

“Understood.” she says quickly. The nurse nods giving them the number and they make there way there.

It was another half hour when Kirishima showed up with a spare change of clothes for Bakugo and offered to drive Minako home so she could rest. She only left when he promised to keep her updated. He changed into his civilian clothes before he finally sat down on the chair next to the bed you would soon be in and before he knew it he was asleep.

Unburn the ashes Unchain the reactions, I'm not ready to die, not yet

When he woke he looked around confused but he perked up when he saw a nurse. “Sir we need to get her settled and then you can come back in.” He nods quickly heading back t the waiting room. The quicker he left meant the sooner he would see you.

It was fifteen minutes later when a doctor approached him. “How is she? Is she okay?” He asks anxious.

“she sustained grave injuries. A head wound which concussed her. Five broken ribs, a punctured lung. Not to mention the damage from the pipe in her abdomen. But other than these things she is fine.” The doctor said as he walked away. Katsuki quickly made his way back to your room as he saw your eyes blink open.

Pull me out of the train wreck Pull me out, pull me out, pull me out Pull me out, pull me out, pull me out

“Y/n!” he called happily. You looked pail, and honestly an inch from death, but never in his life had he been so happy to see you.

You smiled at your boyfriend as he walked into the room. “Suki.” You whispered holding a hand out to him. He quickly came to your side taking it and covering it in kisses before moving up your arm and kissing your face. He placed a loving kiss on your lips before placing his forehead on your own.

“Don’t you ever scare me like that again.” He whispered.

You chuckled but winced. “easy there princess your ribs might not be happy with you for a while.” he says cupping your cheek and you nodded. It was a long day between all the visitors. Wether it was a crying Minako who had heart felt apologies and confessions with you. Or a group of your former classmates coming to make sure you where alright. Or even a soft spoke Mr. Aizawa who came once Katsuki had left to get you and himself some food.

By the end of the day you where exhausted and you where more than happy to allow your boyfriend to carefully lay next to you only intertwining your legs and holding your one hand with his own while the other rested on your cheek.

“Hey y/n, what you said about me being happy,” Katsuk whispered and you hummed for him to keep going. “I’m going to be... with you.” with a soft exchange of I love you’s and a sweet kiss after that you where both asleep.

#katsuki #katsuki bakugo #katsuki x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #mha bakugo katsuki #angst #sligth angst #fluff #katsuki fluff #bakugo x reader #mha bakugo #bakugo katsuki x reader #kirishima #aizawa shouta

95 notes · View notes

desticuleconfessions · 4 years ago

Note

hey desticule. so i have a supernatural-themed girl best friends story that i’ve wanted to share for a long time, especially because none of my irl friends ever rly understood the gravity of this experience w/o the context of spn. there’s a lot of fun parallels to stuff on the show, and its given me like years of brain rot and therapy lmao. so i really deeply appreciate this page as an outlet, thank you so much to the mods for making it. anyways uh. here goes. sorry it’s so long.

[tw: queer trauma, religious trauma, mental illness]

okay so. in 3rd grade i met this girl. we'll call her kate. we became best friends, as in our names were never spoken separately, we did (and won) every science fair together, she came skiing with my family every winter, i stayed with her family at their beach house in the summers, our younger siblings were friends, etc.

our birthdays were exactly 6 months apart (jan 22/jul 22) so we literally believed that we were celestially intertwined.

we wrote a novel together in 8th grade. her family is baptist, we attended massachusetts catholic schools. i would go to church with her family when i slept over, i held hands and said grace with them at meals. they are all tall and blonde and beautiful. classically angelic. i am south asian. i remember introducing her to harry potter in the 4th grade, her mother hadn't let her read em because it was "blasphemous", but i snuck her my copies and she would read them during lunch n recess and keep them in my locker. sorry this seems like a lot of unnecessary detail but it will be important later.

anyways we both got into doctor who and subsequentally supernatural (s1-8?9 at the time). i specifically remember getting her into supernatural. i also remember her instinctive disdain for destiel when i talked about it, i was showing her a meta or fanfic i think, and i talked her through undoing some of her christian household’s internalized homophobia (fully assuming we were both straight at this point) (we were fucking 12). we'd do the whole "bitch" "jerk" thing, i (the older one) affectionately called her 'sammy', her phone password was dean, mine was cas (and they still are). on my 13th birthday, she gifted me a samulet, which i still wear to this day. (additionally, she gave me a vonnegut 'so it goes' necklace one year) (thats not vital but) (goes to show the extent of my dean coding) (im also an aquarius lmao). im highly protective of her. i carry extra rubber bands on my wrist for her. i keep our money and phones in my jacket when the school takes us skiing. i sit next to her in the halls during lunch and organize her binder. on an 8th grade field trip, a boy made a gross comment at her and i broke his nose.

so we start high school together at coed catholic school nearby, i join debate, make a friend also into spn, she's bi. she asks kate out over text. kate's mom sees this. things turn.

now the rest of these things happened over the course of a couple months and due to my trauma memory loss, i have no idea how accurate some of these memories are so uh. don't hold me to them.

- her highly religious mother is not happy with this obviously. at some point, she brings a priest home and tries to have kate exorcised.

- at this point, we learn that kate is schizophrenic; it never seemed to create noticeable issues before bc her home life and childhood was a perfect happy dream (not an assumption, her words).

- she's still coming to school, sporadically now, i bring home her work, spend hours helping her.

- when she comes to school, she has seizures: sometimes we're fortunate enough that they happen in a class we have together. she freezes up and the teacher empties the room. i refuse to leave. i hold her hand and softly sing her favorite song and sometimes she comes back to me. sometimes she doesn’t and the bell rings and the teacher forces me to leave and let the nurse handle it.

- another time they announce a medical lockdown (to keep ppl out of the hallway if someone is being escorted to an ambulance) while im in catholicism class, i immediately know it’s her; she fainted in the pool during swim team practice.

- i stay awake for 6 days straight bc i read online that sleep deprivation induces some of the same symptoms as schizophrenia and if i could understand what she was going through, i could help her

- she shows up at my house w both of her parents 15 minutes before the winter ball, begs me to go bc her parents will only let her if i go. so i do. her mom lurks by the gym doors with the chaperones. during a slow song, kate and debate girl start to slow dance, i grab our friend’s hand, drag him in front of them so her mom can’t see and make out with him.

- i wanted to tell her to stop but i was too afraid i would lose us, that it would seem like i was homophobic or i was jealous, but i knew her in my marrow and it didn’t seem like she was in love or into the relationship, it was willful self destruction

- we talked in the last few years, she confirmed this.

- at some point, she says she’s sorry she didn’t tell me about the voices before.

- when we talk, she’s not her anymore, she doesn’t remember our inside jokes, our codes, i can feel her being slowly ripped away and apart in real time

- i have a vivid memory of arguing with her and her telling me im not real, that her mind made me up, while occasionally speaking to something? someone? else in the room. i hold her hand and point to the matching thin scars on our thumbs and try to convince her im real.

- she eventually drops out entirely, taken to some mental facility that im not entirely sure wasnt conversion therapy (it was definitely a religious facility) (and conversion therapy was not outlawed in new hampshire until 2019) and im not allowed to see her.

- every now and then i get cryptic distressing emails or texts from her.

- one in particular has the subject, “youandiwalkafragilelineihaveknownitallthistimebutineverthoughtidlivetoseeitbreak” which is the first line of the song ‘haunted’ by taylor swift (our shared favorite)(the summer after this happened we collectively decided we needed a new swift Our Song and chose ‘breathe’). the body of the email read “what the hell have i done”

- i pray for the first time in my life, every single day for a few months, in different languages, at temple with my parents, in the chapel at school

- on a club trip, i get a call at 2am from her, crying, asking me why i didn’t help her, why i didn’t stop her, that it was my job to protect her

here’s something i wrote about her, three yrs after:

I wasn’t careful enough and she caught quickly. She burned so close and so bright that for long afterwards, I could not see. And like that, she was gone. I walked into the chapel. Mea culpa. Mea culpa. Mea maxima culpa.

[that last line is from the latin version for a catholic prayer called the act of contrition, it translates to “through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault”]

in the fall, i hear she’s starting at a small baptist school almost an hour from her house. she is dating the principal’s son. the principal is also her pastor.

in my second year of college, i have a bad acid trip in a snowy park in december. i put my hands into the snow and when i look at them,i see blood. i see her body in the snow adorned like it’s a funeral

i still have dreams about her. sometimes i meet her in a grassy field, flying kites and i invite her to my wedding. in others, i catch a glimpse of her ponytail and catholic school skirt and chase her up eight flights of stairs and when i grab her hand, she turns to ash.

at some point in a separate argument w my parents in which they went through my texts and found out i wasn’t straight (amongst other things) my dad says:“i knew i should’ve listened to [kate’s dad] when he told me the things you would talk about. he knew what you are. and he took his daughter away from you.”

last christmas we met up and drove around together, she tells me that for years she thought i hated her for letting me down and for abandoning me, and i literally have the dean winchester in ‘sacrifice’ five stages of grief when sam says “you know what i confessed in there?” because i could not even begin to fathom that she ever blamed herself. it had always been my fault. i had failed to save her. i corrupted her and i failed to save her.

anyways she’s fine now, she’s okay, im okay, we’ve talked and unpacked and we’re alright. but uh. yeah. that happened. the parallels make me crazy. now they can make you crazy too.

‎

#tw: queer trauma #tw: religious trauma #tw: mental illness #wow #that is ... a lot #i'm glad both you and she are okay #mod cas #confessions #desticuleconfessions

10 notes · View notes

vanityloves · 4 years ago

Note

Storm and ivy + medic

@septemberlove i have. no excuse for how late these are but uh. thank you for sending these in 💕.

[word count: 1.8k+ with the longest 'authors note' bc im mentally ill]

sfw, mmm comfy cozy, general sick hcs,

storm - what are cozy days in with your f/o like?

Whenever I think of cozy days, my brain immediately goes to rainy/chilly weather where we can cuddle up together and my brain short fuses. I'm gonna assume this is just like a day off or something though!

How I visual them together vs how I write them is odd because they technically don't act or accept they're 'together' until after the comics but I always write them like they're in a Steady Relationship while on base. I'm always writing a slight AU if you will. Or maybe it's after they get their jobs back at Mann co - I should highkey adjust that but No ♥️. No more thinking, just content based off my idealized universe.

There's definitely a point in their relationship where it's like 'I think I have to put in a little more work here'. I'm not saying either party is slacking but they're slacking ♥️. Neither of them really take action. Chef doesn't blame him or really complain about it because that's their nature, plus they don't know how romantic relationships really work or flow, especially with a person like him. Medic doesn't see an issue with anything and continues on with his normal business.

What I mean by slacking is, there's not a lot of quality time being spent together which would be fine if it wasn't both of their strongest Love Languages, which could help them strengthen their relationship. It's odd because they're 'romantically involved' but they don't spend a lot of time together for either of them to consider it romantic, simply because it's on company time.

ANYWAYS THATS JUST ME BEING CONVOLUTED. FEEL FREE TO JUST IGNORE ALL OF THIS.

Medic goes to bed pretty late and wakes up at a fairly early hour. Chef is a late sleeper and forced to be an early riser because their Actual Job is to make at least 2 or 3 meals a day (if they want something else, they're on their own but hate when anyone messes up the kitchen and will honestly, stand there and watch said person).

There's minimal time they can spend together if they want to do their own activities - for Medic, it's tinkering around with organs or in Engie's garage, for Chef, they're typically meal prepping or trying to tend to an animal or plant of some sort.

Medic is actually more direct about wanting attention and it's never been a problem because he's cautious about it. Chef is more emotionally inclined and willing to drop hints that they want more attention.

Chef probably has one day off where it's a complete free for all, for the rest of the team, which would be the perfect time to spend with Medic - If he wanted to stop working, that is. Just don't picture it but, Chef will literally sit in the medbay for hours just to be near the guy, but it isn't bad? The drone of machinery or the scratching of his pen is relaxing, or having his doves nearby is always sweet! Plus, he's prone to talking their ear off when he finds something interesting, so they'll chime in and have some back and forth.

But, yknow - sometimes having someone's undivided attention is nice and Chef is pretty dense when it comes to that and wonders why they feel so upset.

They swallow their pride and ask Medic if they sleep in his room one night and Medic's not as dense as Chef, he understands that they'd never ask for something so out of the blue for no reason and he promises to finish up his work early so they could head to bed together. Chef had nothing planned, they literally just needed that affection and closeness - since it was their day off Medic takes the hint and puts his work aside for the time being.

They'd probably sleep in and stay in bed a while longer before getting ready together - no uniform required. Chef isn't so talkative in the mornings, Medic's noticed, but they were happily fiddling with his buttons and tie, humming in thought before answering his questions. Medic's seen them out of uniform of course, but it's always funny seeing them in just a button up and jeans like … mom on the go vibes. Medic leaves his coat behind before making his way to the kitchen with Chef.

The kitchen usually has a couple people loitering around, grabbing their coffee or honestly, waiting around for Chef because they always make extra and these bitches are lazy. But the kitchen has now become A Medic Supremacy Zone and he has first dibs - the benefits of being w/ Chef I guess. The two would work as if the others weren't there, keeping their conversation between each other even if that means Medic tilting his head down while Chef leans in closer to reply. There's a high possibility the other have left them to their own devices, seeing as the couple was ignoring them / knows they won't be getting anything. Breakfast isn't extraordinary but it feels special since they actually get to sit across each other and share the morning today.

It's possible that they'd go out and run some errands today, but it's a cover to window shop and walk around. I'll be honest, they probably haven't had proper dates so it's refreshing. You could ask Chef what they liked the most and they're just like :] Yes.

Other times, they like to curl up and catch up with some reading (well, Medic at least) while Chef rests against him and skim over the words. They're not too invested in what he's reading but likes to have some idea of what he's talking about so they don't ask too many questions. (Very 'these words are big and english/german is not my first language + I can't read as fast as you can so I got lost 7 pages ago). Medic likes to watch Chef garden and tries to help them tend to whatever they're able to grow in the goddamn desert. He overwaters a cactus and looks away if it dies. Chef talks ab how they're growing mint and how it really took off while Medic's standing there like :] Oh, lets make tea with that. Because they're Old People (read: Medic is old)

🕊🐁

ivy - how do you take care of each other when you’re sick?

Chef is easier to take care of when they're sick. They continue working until they're pretty beat but once they feel sick and a break doesn't work, they'll try to finish up what they can before turning in early. They see themselves to bed and inform whoever's near that they won't ne there at dinner and if they really cant figure it out, then come get them - other than that, they're barricading themselves in their room.

When they're sick they're REALLY sick but recovery time is usually a few days (depending on how bad it is). They basically hibernate and don't like being disturbed. They're used to not fending for themselves since they've been on their own for a while but really appreciate all the check ins Medic does w/ them, especially when they're all better.

Medic, being...their Medic, he definitely gives them a check up when they first begin showing symptoms and he can be a stickler when it comes to drinking fluids and eating properly. Chef usually has a finicky stomach as it is so Medic really urges them to drink soups and easy foods like bread and crackers. He checks in on them A LOT, even if that's just peeking in to see if they're asleep or not. He backs off when Chef gives him a cold stare from under the covers and minimizes his intrusions/tries to be more sneaky about it. He has colder hands and they let out a sigh when he puts his hand to their cheek or forehead to check their temperature.

Chef doesn't hesitate to take any medication he has for them, mostly bc they aren't fully coherent but they also don't have energy to care, in fact they have the thought that if he accidentally kills them, maybe respawn will cure them. Unfortunately, Medic debunks this before they can even muster up the energy to ask.

Overall 7.5/10, very good patient. Will refuse to get up and accidently falls asleep in the shower which scares the shit out of him.

Medic on the other hand is very stubborn and doesn't like to stop working unless there's something that physically stops him (ex: vomiting, serious injuries [unlikely bc medigun], etc). If he tricked the Devil, surely the man can beat the common cold or flu! Unfortunately he gets those full body shivers and feels terrible. He can be pretty dramatic when he's sick and everyone's subjected to his bad attitude.

It's Chefs turn to play doctor - they can tell by looks alone that he's under the weather. His face is flushed and he's a bit sloppily put together, which isn't *too uncommon* but his tie isn't tied and his glasses lamely slide down his nose. They tsk a bit while taking his temperature just to keep track of it before ushering him to his room.

He can be dragged to bed if persistent enough. Chef's firm hold on his arm is enough for him to get off his chair and have them tug him along. He doesn't have any room to argue with them as they look up at him, so he relents, stating that a short break would definitely do him good, but he'll be up and at em by tomorrow.

Chef is doting and becomes a bit of a helicopter parent when checking on him. This mostly consists of peeking their head in but not really stepping in the room. Every so often they'll wake him up to drink water and either hand him an ice pack or offer a cold towel and move to dab at his forehead and neck.

Medic hasn't been too keen on having others taking care of him bc that's HIS job, and he often tries to shoo Chef away by saying he's more than alright now. Sometimes he's caught sitting up in bed doing work or taking notes on something bc he's a bit restless when he's sick and stationary for too long.

But he's right. He's very good at taking care of himself - when Chef offers him food he'll force himself to eat some of it and he's drinks plenty of fluids without needing reminders. He kinda bosses Chef around, telling them to grab certain medications from the Medbay. They trust his judgment on his own health and bring him what he asks for but Chef keeps a mental note of what he takes and when. Don't need the doctor accidentally taking too many pills today!

Overall 6.5/10. It's hard to get him into bed and becomes restless fairly easily. He is persistent that he's ok after one day of rest only to be found sneezing himself away in the Medbay.

#tf2 oc #self insert #medic #self ship #tf2 headcanons #my headcanons #my writing #i guess #'have you written enough?' idk you tell me.#s: soul food #if anyone reads even a part of this im sorry #💙 2d's spouse 💙#mars!!!#ahh thank you again.. sorry these are so late ahshhd i get caught up w/ other stuff so this was self care <3 !#im very passionate ab medic YSHDHD like yeah no shit bitch 🦧

7 notes · View notes

wexhappyxfew · 4 years ago

Note

20, 30, and 34 for the fic writer ask game!! - pxpeyewynn ❤️ (have to anon bc it’s a sideblog 😔)

aw hello!! and thats totally fine 😊💛 i still ADORE you!! :) thank u sm for asking these, im always super excited!!

20. What’s your favorite part about the fanfiction writing process?

i think i’ve said this before but i really love when your in the thick of it and you get these beautiful bits of description or a character’s interior monologue, i don’t know what it is, but stringing it together so beautifully with words and poetic phrases, i just LOVE that part of writing. and i think that’s why i like writing so much. by just putting words together you can make people feel something, and i think that’s the best part about it all!! :)

30. Post a snippet from your current WIP without context - no more than 300 words.

ok so i had to post a section where there were really no little spoilers or anything so here’s our two favorite medics, those respectful lil beans, in a scene in why we fight!

" You know, Gene," Lizzie said as she put a bobby pin into her braid crown, where she sat criss cross in front of the mirror on the counter, " these are some of the best bobby pins I've ever used." Gene was sitting next to her smoking a cigarette beside her, and swinging his feet off the counter.

" Lucky find." Gene said with a smirk her way as he blew out some smoke. Lizzie leaned back from her masterpiece and adjusted a few pieces of hair from her eyes.

" Still got the magic touch." Lizzie said, proud of herself.

" It looks nice." Gene said as he blew out another trail of smoke.

" My mom always did these for me as a kid. I loved them, thought I was Snow White." Lizzie said. Gene smiled at her. Lizzie glanced at the cigarette in his hand.

" All my time in war and I've never tried one." Lizzie said scrunching up her nose as she stared at the thing in his hand.

" I wouldn't if I were you." Gene said told her. Lizzie raised a brow at him.

" I'm a tough girl." she said, reaching out her hand.

" A tough girl who'll get lung disease if she tries it." Gene said pulling back.

" Then why are you smoking it?" Lizzie asked leaning forward with a smirk.

" It weeds off the stress." Gene told her, pushing it to his mouth again, but Lizzie quickly grabbing it from his hand and placed it on her lip. One puff and she was done, coughing and hacking on the smoke. She hated it.

" Told you. You're too pure for that." Gene told her and Lizzie glared at him.

" Not my issue that I have a trashy immune system." Lizzie said and Gene looked over at her.

" Really?"

" Yep, no wonder that pneumonia last 2 months." Lizzie said, before jumping off the counter and to her feet. Gene sighed, before finishing the smoke.

" You wanna head over to the Current Event lecture?" Lizzie asked him, as Gene moved off the counter. Gene smirked at her.

" Yeah right." Gene told her as he picked up a box of bandages. Lizzie pouted.

" I'm not gonna listen to Nixon drone on, when I can listen to silence instead." Gene told her.

" You make a good point, good sir." Lizzie said, holding out her hand for a shake.

" I'm glad I do, mademoiselle, I always do." Gene said shaking it with a slight smirk.

" Shut up." she muttered, " I'll just bring the news back to you."

" Thanks, I'll pack the rest of this up." Gene told her as she backed up with a mock salute his way, before turning and dashing out. It was her and Gene's thing over the past month, to do weird little thing like they were old Englishmen in London grabbing tea, or they were commanders to each other, giving little salutes every so often. It made them laugh.

34. How much of yourself and your life experiences do you put into your writing? What do you think your readers’ image of you is?

i put a lot of myself into say my main oc, but i really don’t put my life experiences into my stories :) i have a good family, and i am so thankful for my life, so i usually tear away from that sometimes to show that not everyone who is the oc has a perfect family or a good life! for charlotte tarvers my main oc, she is a character who i feel is extremely reflective of myself, just because i put a lot of myself into her. i don’t know how to describe it, but i think writing a character similar to myself made things easier, because i could easily relate and know how she would react, and it was especially helpful when writing my first published fanfic on wattpad so yeah!! :)

i’m not really sure what my readers’ image of me is! people always say i’m super nice and that they notice i take a lot of care in my writing, and to answer back at the comments, even if it’s the tiniest thing. people just say i’m really nice, but to be honest, i haven’t thought much about it, i’ve been busy writing so much LOL but i’m so appreciative to be told that!! <3

thank you so much for your questions!! i had fun answering these!!

1 note · View note

shirts181 · 4 years ago

Text

Random life vent

I remember being really happy as a kid/teenager, everything was awesome, always had friends and family around and did cool stuff, didn’t overthink about anything just lived my life as it came day by day. Not anymore. Before i dive into this, there’s going to be so many things im going to miss or havent remembered thats probably vital or important in relation to what im saying and as im re-reading over it ill realise i havent added something so yeah just a heads up, im a guy in his mid 20′s, majority of this my friends now dont even know about and i couldnt even imagine trying to explain all this shit to somebody i know, i guess thats why im here lol, i want to add and not sure if its related to how i turned out or not but growing up i was always on the shy side, wasn’t super shy but like when i would do shit like do a class presentation by myself id always go red and blush and sometimes get teary, not that i was sad or upset, id just get fucking teary like a dickhead lol, would use my hands when i talked and just overall looked like a nervous wreck. I was comfy around friends and family, could do whatever, didnt really care, if anything i felt like an extrovert around them, but when it came to being in situations i didnt know anybody, i plainly would just say nothing, not make an effort to really engage in conversation, just lay back and wait for that situation to be over til i was with my friends. If somebody approached me id obviously talk to them and whatever but rarely would i be the person initiating anything like that, was a bit of a idiot like that growing up lol. I’ve always been the person who wanted everyone to be happy, i was always oblivious to how other people like my friends had family or whatever issues growing up and the REAL impact it has on them, like divorced parents or they dont know their mum or dad or whatever that stuff, i knew people with depression and anxiety growing up and i was always open to talk to people about it, i LOVED being the friend to speak to if anybody was feeling like shit or wanted to vent, it made me feel really appreciated and id been given this trust to listen to what they have to say, like i might be able to make them feel better about what they had to say regardless of if i could properly help/change their circumstances and problems, but maybe put a smile on their face and make them laugh and let them know it’ll be ok without even being sure if it would, but i never would say that and 100% know it would be ok, but by saying that it might just give them some hope that things CAN be ok and they then believe it can change for the better. From the age of 16 i was super self conscious, i cared what people thought of me, not that im a super ugly guy or had anything dramatically wrong looks wise or how i was, but more so for me maybe like saying something and somebody over hearing it and me being like “oh fuck i should of said that” because it might sound bad or like having pimples (probably same as every teenager ever lol) or a bad hair day (literally) kinda thing. I cared how people portrayed me, i wanted everyone to know i was just average person who just wanted everybody to be happy, i made conscious decisions on what i said to who and where i said it, clothes i would wear depending on where i was going and who might see me, that stuff was like a necessity in my life, i wasn’t like ocd about that stuff because sometimes id be in situations where i know id be judged but still followed through, but something about me just fuckinggggg hated having somebody look at me a certain way and portray me differently to who i really am. I just re-read that and holy shit lol i sound like an idiot the way i’ve said what i’ve said, this is another thing about me maybe saying something and not accurately making it out to sound how i intend it to sound. Whatever rofl, now the real shit. I got diagnosed by a psych with anxiety when i was 18, this was the beginning of my mental downfall from then to this day. About 6-7 months of solid anxiety i could barely leave my house, was scared for no fucking reason, dont even know why, all i remember is my heart beating like crazy and feeling like i was going to pass out or whatever. This would happen mainly in social situations during and before even seeing others/doing things. I would work myself up to the point of crying, getting hives/being itchy everywhere on my body, nervously shaking and visually just looking terrified. I couldn’t drive properly because i’d get panic attacks and id feel like im about to pass out and i cant escape cos im trapped inside a car, traffic was the worst especially when i was alone, there was numerous times that i fucking cried in my car before and after id pull over to relax myself, how stupid is this shit? Why does this happen to people, how does this shit happen to ME, i dont even get why this all is even happening, im not an unhealthy person by any means so im not sick and didnt have symptoms of any illness, wtf is going on. How the fuck do i get over this, ended up seeing a psych because i had no idea wtf was wrong with me, bring in my diagnosis of having anxiety. While i was at home, i would hardcore grind out games on my computer, it made me feel normal and not like absolute shit, dont know why but at the time thats all that made me not feel like absolute shit and scared of being outside in the world. I took pills for this, tried to be active by exercising, playing sport and making an effort and forcing myself out of the house. At the start it was absolute torture, i didn’t ever think i’d get over this, it was that bad. I was on medication, couldn’t tell you what one because i just dont remember and never payed attention to medication names etc. Fast forward 6-7 months, i am actually feeling ok, i apply for jobs, go to job interviews with ease, im actually feeling really good like im making improvements in my life and progressing correctly by taking the next step, something i wouldn’t of thought of doing months earlier. I ended up getting a job and it was like a weight off my shoulders, i was excited, my parents were super happy with me for how far that i had come, i felt good as, potentially like im on track to success in living my life and being able to feel good again. As i got this job i was confident in going out and felt like i could properly just do shit, like i could be me again. This lasted about 15 months, i was ok to drive, i NEVER had a panic attack during this 15 months, i felt good af, when i drove i would even laugh at myself be like “why tf was i panicking? why was i such an idiot and getting worried over shit that cant and wont effect me and make me feel scared? why would i care about those things”, even in like social situations same thing, it was great. It all started to come back, slowly it like bloody crept its way back to being bad, but at this stage i was in denial, i was like na i can get over this i dont need to see anybody, but realistically i probably needed to. To this day i’ve never seen a psych about it, for the last 4-5 years ive almost just adapted to knowing im going to have panic attacks and feel like shit, iv learnt to cope and deal with it myself, the thought of me taking pills for this again scares me, why would i want to take pills to get better again when once i feel good, come off them, id get back into this state of mind and feel anxious again, and then repeat, why the fuck, seriously, why the fuck would i put myself into this potential scenario, i say potential because its a possibility, but thats not a risk im willing to take, people get addicted to this shit, ultimately what im trying to say is i dont want to be that person that gets reliant on taking pills to just having a functioning mind that doesnt make me feel scared and afraid, why cant i just shake this off? is there something im not doing? wtf is the cure to this shit? i know its not the pills because i dont want to become reliant on medications to make me happy. Im pretty convinced im depressed too, iv had serious thoughts about suicide, but i dont think im somebody who could actually commit to it, and if i was, i would probably make the decision to speak to somebody, but im stuck in a mindset where im not going to die from it, but i feel like shit all the time, i dont want meds, i dont know how to fix where im at pretty much, theres things that have happened to me the last couple years which have convinced me im a bad partner in a relationship, not for things i do but for what i unintentionally didnt do, im not a fulfilling boyfriend, ive either never obviously met the right girl for me or im just not fit to be a boyfriend, and thats what i think, how can somebody commit to me but im to stressed and worried about how my commitment to them might not be enough? the constant worry of not being a good boyfriend, when all i really want is for everything to be ok and happy, not that if things arent good or happy that thats a bad thing, i totally understand not everything is perfect and there are shit things that happen to people or in the world thats always going to happen, but i feel like, mainly with my last ex girlfriend, i felt like i was in a competition half the time to compete and get reassurance i was being a good boyfriend because i didnt know anything else, i was locked into this relationship i felt i couldnt escape, i so badly wanted out but was sucked into the mindset that if i left id have nothing and couldnt be with anybody because shes the only one who would be with me cos she already is, how the fuck do i overcome this, how do i get out? Its been a year since she ended up breaking up with me and pretty much for those reasons, i wasn’t up to par with her standards, i wasnt her dream boyfriend, for somebody who accepted my past issues with anxiety and letting her in on all my personal shit, if somebody who i thought cared for me leaves me, how could i ever convince or even get another girl to be with me knowing i have this weight and baggage of being a potential let down and not being able to be the person she needs me to be? Writing all this i thought id feel better but i kinda still feel like shit. I weighed up deleting this, i had it all highlighted ready to backspace and alt f4 this but fuck it i might regret not posting this, i guess thats why im here anyway. If you read all this sorry for the random bullshit, i re-read it and i sidetracked myself hard from what i was originally going to say but im kinda tired and was literally just typing anything that came to my mind andddd yeeeeaaaahhh.. peace

#anxiety #depression #latenightthoughts #venting #myreality #mylife #imisstheoldme #shellberightmate #bullshitery #mentalsuffering #mentalhealthissues

1 note · View note

bubblyani · 6 years ago

Text

Bold moves, No assumptions (Tuck Hanson x Reader)

Tuck Hanson One Shot

Genre: Fluff

Author’s Note: Ever since I watched “This Means War” I was quite disappointed with the ending aka Tuck not being chosen. Didn't make sense cause clearly he was the better choice. Enraged with this and his forced ending with his ex, I wrote this for anyone who shares the same frustration.Tuck Hanson, you deserved better. And here is my tribute to you <3.

P.S: Didn’t Tom Hardy looked supa fine as Tuck?

You played safe in most situations in your life. And never dared to do something out of your comfort zone.

But you always convinced yourself to be stronger and make some bold moves; you were just waiting for the right time to do so.

Working as a part of HR at the Agency might not be as exciting or glamorous, but you did enjoy it. You get to help people with internal matters and you took great pride in it. You’ve made friends with people within and outside of your department and some of them were simply a joy to know.

Agent Tuck Hanson was definitely the best one.

As time went by, you developed quite a soft spot for this charming gentleman of a Brit. He never failed to greet you at work and make your presence known. He would always try out your baked goods with much enthusiasm and you couldn’t help but respect his work ethic. His partner and best friend FDR, was nice too, but you could tell right away what kind of a guy he was. And you didn't really buy into that. Tuck might not be as smooth of a talker as FDR, but you appreciated his sincerity and romantic nature as a person.

When Tuck told you about this girl he found on this dating site, you were happy for him. But at the same time, you felt these feelings, which could only be described as “sour”. You kept ignoring this ‘sourness’ when it all went so well with Tuck and this girl “Lauren”.

But this became such a complicated screw up, when FDR accidentally ended up liking the SAME woman. At first, this immature fight over the same girl seemed so hilarious in your eyes. But when they started to use their power with background checks on her for interests and “sabotaging” each other’s attempts, you realized this was going WAY out of line.

“I don’t know guys, this seems a bit too much, and someone’s gonna get huuurt” you voiced your opinion with a tone of concern and a disapproving look.

And you could tell that Tuck always got embarrassed, as if he realized the insanity of their actions. But he quickly changed heart considering the competitive nature between the two friends.

You even remembered the day when the Heinrich assignment was completed. That was when Lauren finally made the choice. You found Tuck talking to Lauren when the medics arrived, and you remembered how he tried so hard to not let the rejection get to him. Even though you stood far away, you heart felt heavy and you felt bad in his place. You even questioned yourself as to why would you be THIS emotional for someone else’s loss.

That’s when you fully knew, how much you cared for Tuck Hanson.

All of this, flashed through your mind as you indulged on some nachos, looking out to the tables ahead, watching FDR and Lauren cozy up together, laughing, kissing and enjoying each other’s company at the Annual State Fair on a Thursday night.

Since the Lauren incident, Tuck enjoyed your company more often and you didn't mind it all. And when Tuck said he would be going to the fair with a date, you were more than happy to be there to rescue him if anything went sideways.

You just didn't really expect to see THEM there, at the same place, in the same time, together, rubbing it all in Tuck’s face, if he ever did see them.

Suddenly you felt frustrated and angry, but you were also bold. A part of you was surprised when you got up from your seat to walk over to the ‘happy couple’.

“Lauren? Lauren Scott?”

“Oh hey (Y/N)! Didn't expect to see YOU here.” FDR got up happily to show off his new girlfriend. “Lauren...this is (Y/N), she works in HR at the uh…Agency”

“OMG…Hey! Nice to meet you (Y/N)!”

You and Lauren shook hands. You couldn't help but be awed by Lauren, with her golden hair and beautiful smile; she definitely exuded rays of sunshine.

No wonder Tuck fell for her, you thought.

“Yeah, you too. Um…sorry to barge in like this, but uh…I just…I just-” you took a deep breath. “I’m really happy for you guys, really. But I just gotta ask, woman to woman. You really picked FDR over Tuck? REALLY? REALLY?” your voice grew louder by the word. And you swore your expression might have changed into something not so pleasant.

Oh no…here I go.

“REALLY? I mean…WHY?” you continued.

“Uh…(Y/N) I’m sitting right here-“ FDR interrupted.

“FDR PLEASE! Just PLEASE!” you motioned him to shut up.

“I get it, FDR is a softie underneath all that smooth, ladies man bullshit. But what about the good guys? What about people like Tuck? He is the perfect gentleman. And from what happened between you guys, all seemed to go so well right? Sorry for sounding so nosy, I know this seems over line. But seriously Lauren, I just don't understand. Yes, FDR is a lovely person and he has had a rough time growing up so yes he needs the right girl. But so does Tuck! You met HIM first, you liked HIM first. And In the end you decided to go with THIS GUY? SERIOUSLY? I just...I don't get it. There was barely anything wrong with that man, he was really in love with you, you know. You really made a HUGE MISTAKE!”

Lauren looked like she just got slapped. And FDR was pissed off big time, but trying to repress his anger. He quickly got up rushing towards you.

“Lauren I’m SO sorry, (Y/N) can be a LITTLE crazy sometimes” FDR began,

“(Y/N) maybe you should go home”

“I’m FINE! Don’t worry I’m leaving I’m leaving!” you shook his hand away from you.

“By the way, It was nice to meet you Lauren” your expression changed, you couldn't help but smile sincerely at Lauren. Cause in truth, Lauren seemed like a great gal.

“You look really pretty” you turned to walk away. For a second, you felt this huge burden leave your shoulders.

“(Y/N)!”

You turned to find Tuck running up to you “Where are you off to luv?”

“I’m going home, I’m not feeling so good” you replied with a tight smile.

He eyed you sternly, “Are you okay? Did something happen?”

“Trust me, I’m fine. Sorry Tuck” your voice grew softer, patting him on the shoulder.

FDR approached Tuck, who watched you walk away with a confused expression.

“Is (Y/N) okay?” Tuck asked his friend. “Well she certainly didn't seem right in head to me” FDR replied angrily, shaking his head.

“I really don't follow” Tuck got even more confused.

“Tuck, you’re not gonna BELIEVE what just happened”

----------

As much as you didn't want to face FDR the next day at work, you also wanted to apologize for being a jerk in front of Lauren. You came to work early as usual. As you were heading to get a pot of coffee, you stopped by Tuck’s table to check up on him.

“Good Morning Mr.Hanson…or should I say Handsome?? Hah!” you greeted him teasingly. He smiled warmly while typing some emails. “ ‘Morning Luv! You feeling better today?” he closed his laptop to look at you.

“Oh it was just a headache, a good night’s rest did the trick” you gave him thumbs up, automatically looking over to FDR’s table “What happened to FDR?”

“Oh he took the day off today so wont be coming in” Tuck replied, turning side to side on his chair.

“I see…Oh! Dude…how did the date go last night?”

Tuck opened his mouth but stopped himself to think of a better reply. Chuckling, he went “Oh…you know, didn't work out that well” he shrugged his shoulders. You didn't believe him. “What? That's insane…I saw the lucky lady and she looked hawt!” you folded your hands leaning on FDR’s table. “Yeah I guess, but we didn't really click that well in the end” he replied nonchalantly. You still didn't believe him.

“Well, I’m sorry to hear that Tuck. Maybe it didn't work out for a reason. So, have hope!” you cheered him and while walking away to get that coffee.

“I will ” Tuck whispered, watching you leave, and hoping you were right.

--------

Few days later, you heard some colleagues talking about this dangerous mission Tuck was assigned to, and how he will be going out to the field. You rushed to look for Tuck, finding him leaving his table to get ready.

“Please…please be careful, and promise me you’ll be okay” you felt so corny, saying all these things to him. Tuck, touched by your worried reaction, reached out to hold your hand.

“Don't worry luv! I’ll be fine, I promise” he sounded sure. You nodded in acknowledgment, trying not to be distracted by the warmth of his touch.

------

Hours later, Tuck returned to the Agency after a successful mission, but also with a few bruises. He insisted he didn't need a cleanup. But with your persuasion, a medic came by to fix him up. When the medic left, you came in to the room and sat on a chair next to the door, facing a sitting Mr. Hanson on a chair next to the bed, looking exhausted.

“ You really didn't have to call on medic for this, luv” Tuck pointed at the several cuts and scars on his face which didn't seem so severe.

“Doesn't matter the severity, you needed cleaning up.” You crossed your legs “I heard you did a great job today, I’m REALLY proud of you, you know” you meant every word you said, smiling.

Tuck smiled back, but quickly looked down. Pursing his lips, he looked up and spoke shyly,

“FDR told me what happened at the fair.”

You felt the whole world crashing down on you as if the worse nightmare has happened. You wanted to get away from this room.

“I’m so sorry about th-“ you quickly got up

“No please! Don’t go “ Tuck said hurriedly, motioning you to stay. “Please stay” his voice got softer. You slowly sat down, afraid of what might come out of his mouth next.

“To be honest, it felt quite nice to hear that someone was speaking on behalf of me...”he continued, his blue eyes on you, begging for you to look back at him.

“But I just got to ask...why? Why would you do that (Y/N)?”

You summed the courage to look up at him, praying you won’t get your heart broken by rejection.

“You know, I’m not the one to pick a fight Tuck, I really am not” you began,

“…But that day, when I saw them together, I just couldn’t take it. Why must FDR only deserved to be happy and not you? Why must that happen when you did nothing but be a great guy. The spying thing was CRAZY, I WILL say that. But even from the beginning, Even WITHOUT the spying, you were doing SO well and you STILL didn’t get the girl. And it JUST PISSED ME OFF” the more you spoke the braver you sounded. You sat on the edge of your seat.

“And it pissed me off a hell lot cause I...I...” with eyes closed, you took a deep breath, clenching your fists.

“I have liked you for a really long time Tuck”

You maintained eye contact as you finished.

There it was, bold move number two.

You couldn’t read Tuck’s expression, but it did look as if he wasn’t expecting that.

“(Y/N)!-“ he let out a chuckle. “What?” You were dying of curiosity. He moved around in his seat as if to calm oneself. Was he nervous?

“You might have not known this, but when I first met you in the Agency, I thought you were quite lovely”

Your heart skipped a beat.

“Actually, I thought you were very beautiful, and seeing you around always cheered me up” you blinked fast; you didn’t know how to react.

Am I dreaming?

“I even went so far to assume you already had a boyfriend-“

“You what?” That escaped your lips faster than you could think. Loudly too.

Tuck smiled, he found your reaction adorable. “ Come on (Y/N)! Was I wrong to assume that? Why would someone like you want someone like me?”

“You CAN’T say that! That’s my line ” you protested, to which Tuck burst out laughing. You couldn’t help but chuckle. You adored the way Tuck laughed. You loved seeing him happy.

Fuck! I really like him.

“Anyways, after a while the Lauren thing happened, and then with Katie again and, nothing seemed to fit right with me” his tone changed, and it was sad.

You just had enough of this. You just couldn’t take it.

Standing up, you slowly walked over to him, not breaking eye contact. Tuck looked surprised as you suddenly sat on his lap. You longed for courage as your hands found his face, fingers touching his skin so softly.

Savor this moment.

Slowly moving forward, you kissed him.

Savor.

You kissed him like it was your first and last time.

This.

You kissed him, trying to pour all your feelings into one kiss cause you were afraid this will be your only chance.

Moment.

5 seconds, it lasted 5 seconds.

You removed your lips from his, giving him a soft smile, stroking his cheek with your thumbs looking at his fazed expression. You sighed deeply. You got up.

Frankly you really didn’t want to let this one go.

To your surprise, neither did Tuck.

He grabbed your hand, his grip hard as steel, so strong you fell back to his lap. You looked at him with shock.

“Tuck, what are y-“

“No more assuming,” he breathed, pulling you to a kiss.

Kissing Tuck was lovely. Tuck kissing you was magical. But when this was fused together, it was just fireworks. It certainly didn't seem so unfamiliar; at least not by the way Tuck was touching you. He held you up so you could straddle him. Lips were in a conversation of its own.

Where the fuck have you been?

You felt butterflies in your stomach as you felt his hands run up and down your back, finally settling down to your waist, pulling you even closer to him. The kisses turned deeper and more passionate. The distance between the two of you got smaller, to the point of the bodies grinding against one another.

Tuck broke off the kiss reluctantly, and you suddenly returned to earth.

“(Y/N)…uh...I…” he panted, gently holding your cheek “ as much as I would like to continue THIS, I really want to do this RIGHT, you know, take you out on a date first” he spoke earnestly, looking in to your eyes.

You giggled, “Hehehe…yeah true. I’d like that too…” You felt so ecstatic you hugged him super tightly,

“Finally, I have you ALL to myself” you whispered excitedly to his ear.

“You can’t say THAT! That’s MY line” Tuck responded teasingly, hugging you back.

Tuck WAS the better guy, and he made YOU the better girl.

With the help of a few bold moves you will never regret.

Check out my MASTERLIST for more

#This Means War #Tom Hardy #Tuck Hanson #Tuck Hanson imagine #Tuck Hanson x Reader #Tuck Hanson fanfiction #Tom Hardy Imagine

245 notes · View notes

pwnyta · 6 years ago

Text

Full Endgame spoilers/review:

(TL;DR: It was really fucking good. Theres some bad obviously but overall worth it. Even after reading the spoilers and feeling like I may not like it as much as I thought I would... I actually liked it more.)

- - So as I said I loved the movie I had some gripes but overall I thought it was one hell of a fun, entertaining movie. I'll go by each characters story in my review saving Cap and Tony for last.

Natasha- Honestly? Though I think the MCU dropped the ball on the 0G6 being a believable family... I think Nats role in this movie was sweet. I really like the scene where Tony Nat and Bruce were laying down talking about Strange and the stones. It was really cute but it really made me wish we got to see this earlier. Joss dropped the ball hard in AoU. Ive said it one and I'll say it again. AoU should have been the movie where the Avengers were a solid unit throughout the movie.Nats death was... heroic but honestly her and Clint beating the shit out of each other because neither could stand the thought of the other being sacrificed was kinda funny and cute which is jarring to the story. It kinda sucks that she was fridged before the final battle though.

Clint- What are the fucking odds that every one of his family was dusted? But w/e. Clint having a wild sword battle in Japan... it was ridiculous and weird and IDK what they were thinking with that scene but it was played really dramatically but I laughed? Cuz it was so over the top and silly... even though he just slit that guys throat and Nats like :c Clint~ honey no its fine... and they hold hands over the guys warm corpse. LMFAO WHAT!? Im at least happy his kids got him back if nothing else.

Bruce- ... Bruce with Hulks big green body? NICE. Thats gonna have some interesting fanart I can already tell and I lift my glass to you. I once tried to draw a little comic where Bruce and Hulk separated but also had swapped bodies.... so Bruce had Hulks body but I never did finish it I wonder if I still have it saved somewhere. Anyways. Honestly? I found Bruce in this movie to be equal parts funny and annoying? Like it was a bit jarring sometimes that he was so lighthearted despite everything.

Thor- When I read the spoilers I thought I was gonna really dislike Thor but watching it I understood where Thor was coming from and I couldnt really blame him for spiraling and its not like anyone close to him seemed to even check up on him despite clearly knowing where he was. Im really sad that it took all those years and only until he was needed for someone to try and talk Thor through what he was going through. Im not annoyed with Thor. Im annoyed with the rest of them (minus Tony and I guess Clint? Considering.). Bruce was his friend in Ragnarok, Nat keeps talking about them being family, and Steve is their leader where the hell were they? Unless im missing something... I guess Valkyrie too but shes been picking up his slack as a leader and was holding the Asgardians together so I can cut her some slack. ANYWAYS. Thor was kinda funny in the movie but it was kind of hard to enjoy his goofiness. It kind felt like Tony in IM2. Speaking of Im glad Tony seemed really tolerant of Thors drunk behavior... I was sure he would throw a lot of shots like Rocket did. I wish they had a moment to talk about Thor self medicating with booze... Tonys been there. I get why they couldnt really but.. His scene with Frigga was really nice. Frigga is a bad bitch raised by witches and shit.... she knows all~ A wise woman that Frigga.

Scott- HOLY SHIT Did I love Scott in this movie. He was soo funny and cute... and bullied a lot. You know I have a thing for easily bulliable character. And Scott just got spanked left and right. His helpless goofiness reminded me of Harry from KKBB a little. He bounced off everyone well and it makes me kinda wish he was one of the OG6 instead of Clint. He was more of the heart that kept the Avengers together than anyone. Also him and Tony talking about Caps ass? HILARIOUS. Bisexual icons honestly. 'That suit did nothing for your ass.' 'No one asked you to look!' 'I think you look great Cap as far as Im concerned thats Americas ass!' and then later Caps all 'That IS Americas ass.' Unbelievable. But his best scene is still him reuniting with Cassie. She was so big! Im so happy she got her dad back... but Bruces failed time travel machine scene.... that was a close second. 'Somebody peed my pants... idk if it was baby me or old me........ or me me.' Also the 'whats up regular sized man' scene is longer and more hilarious than the preview showed. FUCK YOUR TACO SCOTT. At least Bruce is nice to him. I ship GreenAnt a little. Rocket petting Scott and mockingly calling him a puppy. SAME.

Rhodey- JESUS RHODEY. Speaking of hilarious idiots. Im glad he got a bigger roll in this movie but he didnt hug Tony when he got back so whats the point? BUT W/E... He was hilarious and amazing. It was nice to see him step up as one of the sorta leaders after the snappening. But he was also A HUGE FUCKING DORK THE ENTIRE WAY THROUGH. Thinking that a secret cavern with a spooky name would be boobytrapped like in Indiana Jones and trying to convince Nebula to be careful. Naming a bunch of shitty time travel movies to prove a point about time travel (with Scotts help) and going back in time to kill baby Thanos...and Bruce was like 'yeah... no...' and him fucking TRASHING the magic of the iconic opening scene of the first GotG where Quill is dancing.... 'so hes an idiot?' RHODEY PLEEEEAAASSSEEEE have mercy. Him and Nebula are a trip. Also I made a note to mention Don Cheadles BEAUTIFUL soft voice. So here it is. I love Don Cheadles beautiful soft voice. He had too few scenes with Tony but their first scene when Tony starts freaking out and hes trying to get Tony to calm down was pretty good... and god that ending.... ;-; How come Rhodey got NO lines while Tony was dying? But also in the same position I dont think Id have any words either. I too would just cry. And did... for Tony. But yeah besides his lack of scenes with Tony I really loved Rhodeys scenes. I usually do. Hes adorable.

Nebula: Sweetie... You are just amazing. Shes legit one of the best most solid characters in the movie. The opening scenes between her and Tony? FUCKING adorable. Im sad we dont see more of them after the time skip. I also wish we got a longer scene of Neb and Rocket talking when she gets to earth... I guess just seeing them sit together sadly was enough to portray the emotions but.... I MEAN. More Nebula wouldnt hurt anyone. Having to see two tortured versions of Nebula was upsetting. Future Nebula who lost so much and past Nebula still under Thanos' thumb. 'You can change!' 'He wont let me' OOF. Im sad that past Nebula was killed... but appreciate that even in that moment past Gamora was upset to see her be killed. Im glad with Present Neb, Gamora was so easily heel-face turned. She loves her sister. Also their moment after past Gamora beats up present Quill was hilarious 'Really? This is the guy?' 'The choices were him or a tree.' WHAT ABOUT DRAX, NEBULA?! I know I said I may not watch any MCU movies after this but I might tune in for GotG3 for Nebula (and Thor).

Steve: I actually ENJOYED Steve in this movie for the most part. For the first time in any movie... even by himself I kind of enjoyed Steve. Especially the scene when hes fighting himself and his past self says 'I can do this all day' and hes like 'Tst... yeah I know... okay' Like he was sick of his own damn bullshit. And frankly? Same. Also him whispering 'Hail hydra' to get the scepter? Hilarious. I cant help but see it as a knock at that shitty Hydra Cap comic that everyone hated. But despite me enjoying Steve for most of the film... the MCUs inability to write a good romance and pretending like Steve and Peggys relationship was a peak or something completely undoes it all. It would still NOT BE GREAT regardless but the fact the RUSSOS are the ones who brought Sharon into TWS in the first place makes it SO MUCH WORSE that Steve dipped out. Steve should have moved on... even if it wasnt with Sharon. They could have at least MENTIONED HER but they knew they couldnt because then it would be too highlighted that Steve is a fucking FUCK BOY who used the niece of the woman he loved as a surrogate and that him going back to the past means hes gonna be meeting little Sharon at some point. Also? Really? Steve you have this whole new family you supposedly love and can live your life with but you rather go back in the past because the first woman who was nice to you was there? Move on. Its so fucking weird that hes so obsessed with her. You have your childhood friend and the rest of your new friends... and supposedly a girlfriend. IDK how anyone could be happy with that ending for him. But I guess its in character... remember the note he sent Tony 'I've been on my own since I was 18.' What about Bucky? He was there with you and you had family in the Avengers supposedly. Natasha seemed to think so. YOURE SUCH A FUCKIN SCUMBAG STEVE. Jesus.

Tony: First of all Id just LOVED his scenes with Nebula as I said. He sat there patiently teaching how to play paper football and held her win. It was REALLY cute. When he passed out she picked him up off the floor and sat him down on the chair and pat him. REAL CUTE. He nicknamed her 'The Blue Meanie' its cute and he tried to give her the last of their food but she insisted he eat it. Bobbos eyes never looked more gorgeous than in that scene where Carol finds them honestly. Tonys I told you so was really really sad. It had a lot of feeling like that scene in AoU when he laughs hysterically and starts ranting? Rhodey tried to calm him down but he just ripped into Cap. Also he yanked off his arc reactor and I FULLY JUMPED IN PANIC because I forgot it wasnt in him. I fully flinched. But he pulled his heart out and gave it to Steve and then passed out. Tony and Peppers daughter is ADORABLE. And her interactions with Tony are so sweet. Domestic Tony is lovely. I love that when Steve and the gang roll up on him Morgan runs out during their discussion and is like 'Mom told me to come and save you....' and hes like 'Well Ive been saved!' REAL CUTE. Also he swore and his daughter copied him and hes like NOOOOO!!!!!!! LMAO. LANGUAGE Tony. Tony is motivated to fix things seeing that pic of him and Peter. Hes such a softie. IM REALLY REALLY SAD that we finally see Pepper kinda GET Tonys need to be Iron Man and is like 'But could you rest?'. The one time she encourages him to go back to be Iron Man and he fucking DIES. Im so sad for Pepper. But that scene between them where shes like 'We'll be ok.... you can rest now.' FUCK. Im crying again. That scene between him and Steve- 'Someone shoula warned you~' 'You did...' 'Oh did I? Thank god Im here' has the same energy as 'Who taught you how to dance?' 'You did.' 'Well Ive done a marvelous job!' It was pretty great. Tonys nicknames for Scott are 'Pissant' and 'Thumbelina.' Im not OVERLY fond of his scenes with Howard. But honestly? My brother is the same way with our dad... he just chooses to forget the bad stuff and focus on the few good times. I cant do that but if it made Tony happier then VERY WELL. I wish Tony coulda talked to Jarvis too tho... just a word... anything? Best Tony scene is Peter babbling about how he musta passed out because Tony was gone and and and and Tony just hugs him so tightly and Peters hugs back and is like :D 'this is nice'! Though that STARK contrast of them after Tony uses the gauntlet... and Peter is like 'Mr Stark... we won... we did it... no Mr Stark...' Big Simba and Mufasa feels (and kind of Hughes and Elicia tbh). Not cool Disney. I was already crying. Rhodey was the first to reach Tony and Tony couldnt say ANYTHING to anyone and Rhodey just pets his cheek... Tony was just looking around as his family just has to watch helplessly as hes dying and Pepper tells him its ok. His funeral was really nice. He recorded a message for everyone kind of like his message for Pepper on the ship. Everyone was there... I think even Harley (Im really sad we didnt see them get reunited even once). The scene with Happy and Morgan was really sweet. 'I'll buy all the cheeseburgers you want....' It was cool to because... ya know.... Jon Favreau. He got a really beautiful end. I wish he could just retire and live with Pep and Morgan... but if he had to die... that was a really lovely sendoff. SO ALL IN ALL. Awesome movie. I didnt get to see past elderly Steve passing the shield off to Sam... I'll have to rewatch it again when theres a better version. Especially for that fucking STUNNING end battle. Even with the shitty cam I watched it looked AMAZING and I cant wait for it in HD.

#Endgame Spoilers

24 notes · View notes

homestucky · 6 years ago

Note

Davekat fic recs?

hrrmm wow i will have to think. ill probs just check my bookmarks which means i probably wont be able to think of many one chapter fics off the top of my head since i dont tend to bookmark them. also some that havent been updated in yrs i wont put here bcaus thats just frustrating unless theyre rlly notable and may come back i may not link them

also disclaimer that while im not super into smut so its unlikely im gonna recommend just porn fics, some may have some sexy times incidentally i suppose. also a lot of them are dave centric/dave POV bcaus hes my BOY

M.C. Escher that’s my favourite MC by Unda (COMPLETE) is a wild ride and long but i recommend for sure, very well written n thought out. also check out the other fics in the series bcaus if i recall correctly there are some other shorter fics that unda wrote to give some background or develop characters. but theyre also really great even stand-alone! its finished now and i followed it the whole time :0. cw for child abuse and death

Within, Without by reinkist (COMPLETE) i actually read a long time ago so i dont remember it so well. i do remember thinking it was pretty great tho, so i do recommend it. i should probably go back for a reread some time. its just a really good meteor fic that explores everything you’d want it to, and does that well, u kno? its like the fic that u wanted to exist but couldnt find. but here it is!

Doc Scratch’s School for Supernaturally Gifted Adolescents by medical (UNFINISHED AND RECENTLY UPDATED)is great, its like a multichapter magic/superhero au thing. its fun and characters in it are rlly well developed, like, i do enjoy a davekat fic which has a good and significant rose characterisation in there too. but theres some serious plot goin in in here too…. very exciting.

To Be Taken Care Of by shitstuck (COMPLETE)is good, its god some deep convos about troll v human culture and stuff, some rosemary too. bit of body horror but if i can handle it its not too bad. i just reread it lol. the epilogue changes the tone of things a bit n id be interested to know other peoples thoughts on that ;_;

Don’t Forget the Sun by Weevilo707 is rlly good but sadly NOT COMPLETE AND HASNT BEEN UPDATED IN AGES :@!! hope the authors doin ok (EDIT: APPARENTLY the author is not planning on updating this one again, but i still think its a good read :^) )

Book Covers by turntechGeneticist717 (COMPLETE) is rlly great also!! big recommend. dave is lookin after a babby dirk as his big brother in college. i havent read it in a while but i remember when it was updating being like !!!!!!!!!!!Aaa!! also there are others in the series so take a look :)

The Truth is in the Eyes by AcrylicMist (COMPLETE)is like a rlly mythological/fantasy interpretation of canon post game which is very cool????? like the world is sort of medieval or something but w the gods n magicky stuff. rlly interesting. , very dope again havent read it in a while and am running out of steam for ranting about fics but!! yea its sweet w an intriguing plot

The Eurydice Suite by callmearcturus (COMPLETE) !!!!!!!!!!! i love this fic so much like its bonkers n i just. its like an inception sort of inspired au and i have NEVER watched inception but im just super into the concept. its just. a rlly amazing well written fic w perfect pacing and characterisation like the plot is like a beautiful spider web where time flicks back and forth yet makes perfect sense. theres such a sense of atmosphere. ive reread it so many times. also!!1111111 i love the dave in it, and i love the strilondes family relationsy stuff!! i also feel like it ties everything up rlly nicely despite having like all the main characters in it p much. hell yeaaaa. its my fav by this author whos an AMAZING writer like they just DROP U IN to the world with so much confidence and drop context and background in at a perfect pace so ur never confused but always intrigued. but often i find the atmosphere in their fics almost TOO intense u know?? like i feel like i wake up in a ditch after reading one like wh,,h who am i?? i hate using this word but the writing is weirdly like… “sensual” which i think means the writing is great, rlly strong atmosphere but im not always 100% able to handle it. this one does not make me feel so dazed and its just.. yess

The Lucky Ones by daniomalley (COMPLETE) is another one i followed as it came out. a cool spacey au. sorry i cant think of anything else to say aaaa

Off Court by levvan (ON HIATUS?) is great tho strong themes of abuse from the start. not that none of the above have that if i havent said so uhhhh yea be wary of the tags i guess. but yes.

three rounds and a sound by skitpost (UNFINISHED AND RECENTLY UPDATED) is rlly great, like a magic school au. very excited to see whats gonna happen next :0

We’re All Friends & Family Here (And Frankly, We’re Sick Of Your Shit) byLandOfMistAndSecrets (COMPLETE) is TECHNICALLY a dirkjake fic but it has very cute little pastiches of other characters and the DK ones are very cute and well characterised

An Alien and a DJ Walk into a Bar (and Accidentally Start a Relationship) by Kadaaver (APPEARS TO BE ON HIATUS) i was p into when it was still updating. theres not actually MUCH relationship stuff yet if i recall correctly but still. good. and i enjoy the characterisation of dave being p socially anxious.

turntechGodhead is offline by forestknifefight (UNFINISHED AND RECENTLY UPDATED) well relatively recently. i like this one a lot! theres some good beta kid friendship and some good karkat.

Astronomy in Reverse by PunkZucchini, sicklekind (ON HIATUS>??????) cute + features BIGKAT is i recall correctly

Bring You Down by acedavestrider (COMPLETE) idk what to say about this but thats not a criticism. its just a legit cute fic that is good for the heart. human au, earth n whatever. karkat is a student nurse!! yeaa! thats kind of incidental but i like it

Survival of the Richest by ireallyloveicecream (HIATUS???) theres not a lot of it but im so intrigued. some kind of a fae/magic fairy folk kinda thing

Californian Son by LivTC (COMPLETE BUT THERES MORE IN THE SERIES WHICH I HOPE WILL CONTINUE TO BE UPDATED ETC ETC) !! ok this one is kind of sexy n angsty and daves a REAL DICK in it but it rlly well written and i rlly wanna know more jijhihihu

First Contact by yesfir (UNFINISHED AND RECENTLY UPDATED) !! its au but like idk scifi, humans having to make a deal with/coexist with trolls. space colonies!! this one is great… good character development and plot… does that great thing of pacing the revelations of the plot rlly gradually so ur like ! somethings happening here and i must know more!!!

Feathered by AlloftheFandom (UNFINISHED, RECENTLY UPDATED) this ones exciting :3 karkat has only just been introduced to it. its like a magicky world w a bit of mild body horror so far. some good strilondes also… has anyone noticed that i need strilonde family relations in a fic i love….

Soulmates by egossweetheart (UNFINISHED (fairly..?) RECENTLY UPDATED) this is a souleater au which i dont know a lot about??? but its cool, i am suitably intrigued. bit of body horror. idk as always check the tags. idek why im bothering to specify that. anyways,

Vladimir and Estragon Cope with Their Trauma by Volo (UNFINISHED RECENTLY UPDATED ETC) afterlife au. so yea TW death. im into it tho

The Importance of Being Karkat by choicescarfsylveon (UNFINISHED RECENTLY UPDATED ETC) karkat has a radioshow, dave is kind of a dick. some parts of that change. i wont spoil which. theres something deeper goin on too…….. mysterios….

anyways here are some fics that i think are cool. sorry it took ages i just wanted to give it a good effort ukno?? its not an exhaustive list but its what i found. thanks to all these authors and hey, while we’re at it, all fanfic authors!! good work and i hope u all know how appreciated it is. anyways i have a headache so i guess ill finish this up. peace!

#davekat #dave strider #karkat vantas #homestuck #fanfiction #dave #karkat #ask #long post

88 notes · View notes