#i rlly wasnt feeling the last few but this one has me excited for this show again

[5-pp-man]

Judging by the name of this episode i highly doubt that, Toto.

[naomiarai]

so ur taehyun poll just had me THINKING cause bsf taehyun has me fucked up but imagine having phone sex with bsf tae… and he knows that your inexperienced and you’ve never done anything with anyone before and he is just so fucking excited that he somehow got you touching yourself over the phone with him…

omg anon- i luvv bsf tae to DEATH.

like ur back at your apartment after spending the day hanging out with tyun,,, but you still wanna talk to him so you both go on face time,, doing whatever you have to but still talking to one another; and each time the topic changes, about his cat, making plans for next week, drinking together soon...it keeps switching until he starts questioning ur sex life. you dont really question it, i mean its just taehyun..? and he's your best friend, itd be weird to cut off. it would be if it wasnt for the wayy he said it. the way you could clearly tell that his voice went down a few octaves, his chin resting on the palm of his hand through the screen as he looked at you intently the through the screen. you were STUCK. you never been out of words talking to him but there we go i guess. tyun was attractive yes, and you've fallen victim to that trait of his long ago, there was no denying it. getting back, you simply say that you haven't rlly had a sexual encounter or even masturbated, say less to ur inexperienced ass, simply saying that infront of him and the look of his piercing eyes had u right down wet. he looks surprised at the last few words you replied with, you havent even masturbated? poor thing he says with faux sympathy, n u feel ur cheeks turn red >< i..i dont know how to- you say with unavoidable stutters, you keep talking somehow, until he suggests the best n worst idea ever. he'd help u masturbate. on call.

once he gets u to agree, inside he's so fucking excited, he has his inexperienced best friend show her bare pussy on screen n he'd help her masturbate,,,, gosh he's gonna go for hours,, have u weak when he's so far away,,, youll prolly need his dick. :((

[fatcowboys]

i rlly kinda need fat liberation or body positivity or whatever to be so so so So much better about includong masculine folks in their resources and conversations.

ive rarely been femme even before i knew i wasnt a woman so its not like ive really had a bountiful access to fat resources aimed towards femme folks but god damn i have felt my options shrink even smaller the less comfortable i am with femme aimed resources and how out of place my body seems within so many of those spaces and resources. ESPECIALLY ones that can accomodate my trans body, tits (that i don't hate! and don't foresee going anywhere anytime soon!) and all.

i know how few plus sized clothing brands there are (not even getting into affordable + ethically made etc etc) but if the ones that exist its an OVERWHELMINGLY femme aligned majority that i feel miserable wearing without a lot of extra styling and modification work. or the amount of masc clothes in stock at plus size resale stores vs femme clothes. or if i am looking for style inspiration or folks speaking about fat liberation finding fit insp for fat women is easy! but i have a much smaller pool of fat masculine folks (who i treasure dearly!) that ive found and return to their content regularly because its so valuable to me because its often hidden under content that, while important, has limited usefulness for me

i find this extra prevalent in body positivity spaces, where it often feels like resources and information is shared with the assumption that its been shared to other femme folks and women without specifying that is who its usefulness is aimed towards. what triggered this post right now (although its honestly always lurking around the corner, watch out if you have a single conversation with me about fat liberation) was a post about body positivity where someone shared a resource of a website where you can put in your height, weight, other info and see people who might look like you (and make it easier to appreciate their body where you find it difficult to appreciate your own). and i thought thats a cool resource! i dont get to see people who look like me, hardly ever! lets check it out!

unfortunately what wasnt included was that the subtitle for this site is "what real women look like" so while there wasn't any info stating identities of the people shown on the photos, of the few i clicked through they all were femme and while they looked great, i didnt see anyone who i felt looked like me to get what i hoped out of that site. this would have been fine if the person had posted it had stated its target audience up front, but this isnt the first time, and wont be the last time, that i got excited about a resource only to learn it actually has very little that applies to me.

if you are someone who shares content about fat liberation, PLEASE consider how much content and resources you share that can be utilized by your masculine followers as well - and at the very least, please don't state something as universally beneficially if its not. i understand why there is such a focus on this considering the history of beauty standards applied to femme folks (and more). however im unlearning those too and now also dealing with new ones as i transition that are far less talked about and i just ask we give some space for fat men, masculine people, butches and more to also create space to deal with these struggles within fat liberation spaces. especially especially especially for fellow folks larger than small fats because the need only grows.

[tainsan]

YES I DEF THINK THAT TOO!! im just rlly bad at spelling and meant jongho might just use ur name/a shortened ver 😞 yeosang would DEF use ur name but like in the nerdiest way im sorry. hes just a little dorky if that makes sense! i 🫶🏻 nerds tho

on the contrary wooyoung would use the cringiest nicknames ever whether ur there or not. 'my little sugarplum cupcake' 'my honey booboo bear' hed start saying into recipes atp like 'my 1/4 cup of sugar with five large marshmallows!!' thanks man. how sweet!

IM SOO EXCITED!! i need fluff rn these past few chapters have hit me like a train and i am SICK and TIRED of their shenanigans. just kiss it out! i will not sue promise maybe just scream a little 🤗 this fic has everything i love AND an amazing incredible spectacular funny kind author

yeah its not terrible until you have to do it ☹️ its a workout esp when ppl keep messing up 👿👿👿 i think im the side kick here tbh! us against the world though 🤞🏻(and misfit atz. ik yk what theyre gonna do and how theyll improve but IIII dont so until then.. they better sleep with one eye open)

hopefully ur mental health is good or i will uh. fight ur brain! 🤺 and i hope ur inside and safe now 🫶🏻🫶🏻

ok thats my super duper long message for now 😎 thank u for listening and sorry for the wall of text. i WILL be back🐺

-🦝

ME TOO I’m terrible at spelling bc I’m dyslexic😭 auto correct and grammarly are my saviours omg

OKAY I feel like Jongho would be too shy to call you a nickname at the start of the relationship but when he gets fully comfortable he will use babe and baby. Yeosang is such a nerd I love him. I have a thing for nerdy boys (seonghwa and Yeosang have me in a chokehold) (everytime I see seonghwa geek over Star Wars and Lego I will go feral)

NO BC YOU HAVE A POINT😭😭 wooyoung would 100% be using all the cringey weird petnames UNIRONICALLY. Bro woukd come up to you and be like “what’s up my pookie bear” dead serious and won’t understand why you are laughing at the name💀 LDKAOAOA 1/4 CUP OF SUGAR HAD ME ON THE FLOOR. But cupcake and muffin are defo gonna stick bc he thinks you’re the sweetest person alive!!!!

The past few chapters have been HEAVY and I’m so happy to be finally releasing some chapters which I know everyone has been waiting for😭. YOURE FLATTERING ME STOP ILY I’m happy you like the story and also me 🥹

I can’t understand :(( when I was in high school we did Matilda the musical and I was one of the kids in the back 😭😭 my teachers loved the fact that I have a history in gymnastics so they made me flip around and do tricks off a mini trampoline. And OMG THE LEAD FOR MATILDA WAS SO BAD IT WASNT EVEN FUNNY idk who casted but she couldn’t sing or dance or act😭 we did so so so many retakes and every retake I had to be flipping around and I was so done by the end of it

We can both me main characters 🤭 us against the world bae🫶 yeah yeah I have no idea what they are going to do we are both in the blind….🤫

I’d love for you to fight my brain it’s a mess but I’m improving slowly. the last few months have been super super tough for me so I hope that I will get out of this period. But I’ll be fine !!!

NEVER APOLOGISE FOR RANTINGGG

You better be back 🐺AWOOOO

[foxtriestobiteandmaimandkilland]

its my step grandads funeral tmrw and honestly i feel guilty bc i dont feel bad or sad or anything even tho i knew him vaguely well. like ive always seen my grandma more than him but like ive seen him more than my blood grandad atleast and hes been one of the ppl who have been a fairly constantish presence. but like im not grieving and im not sad im just like. idk. normal. but ig bc this is normal for me bc like its all well and good saying hes dead but its like. like if nobody had told me i wouldnt know any better bc i only see him once every few months or w/e so like. i mean the last time i saw him was christmas and between then and like a few weeks ago when he died i didnt see him at all so like. that was half a year w/o seeing him so it was just. idk. like he was 100% a much better person than my grandad bc i was actually kinda happy when my grandad died bc he was an awful awful man and the reason my dad is an awful man too and he was just so bad. and i mean i dont feel guilty 4 feeling happy abt that bc like. yknow. but i do feel guilty 4 just being sorta. uncaring abt my step grandads death. bc he was a nice person and hed tell us jokes that made no sense and hed eat his food so incredibly slowly wed run out of conversation topics at dinner and hed spoil me n my siblings by buying us shit and hed pretty much just always be smiling and like. he wasnt some hero he wasnt some great amazing grandfather who was always there and who i could always trust and love and he wasnt some guy i looked up to as a role model or got excited when he was around or loved seeing but he was nice and like. being nice is enough. he never knew he had a trans step grandkid tho. oh my god. im gonna meet his blood family tmrw. for the first time. at his funeral. thats gonna b awkward. i dont actually know if he ever had any kids or grandkids. i know he has a sister i think but thats all i know. and i mean im calling him my step grandad but he wasnt rlly bc he n my grandma only dated but he was definitely more of a grandad than my actual grandad. idk. i think i just feel weird bc like. i mean its at the exact same venue as where my grandads funeral was. my grandma picked both times which seems a little weird. bc its like shes equating her ex and her partner to the same standards but. idk. idk what im gonna do tmrw anyways bc at my grandads funeral i was pretty much just bored bc all the adults n stuff were making conversation n i was there in my school uniform bc it was during the school day and i just played hide n seek w my siblings in the garden of that place but likeee. i mean idk i might just go on my phone or smth. listen to some riptide. might take my camera n take some photos bc its a fairly pretty place.

[blxetsi]

Hello! I love your blog and writing so much! May I please request modern au dating hcs for Mikasa?

tysm for requesting ilysm 🙈💥

i also went a bit overboard i hope thats okay !!

modern mikasa ackerman dating headcanons

lowercase intended !

college!mikasa ackerman x gn!reader

- eren finds out abt her crush on you. idc idc

- mf may be dense sometimes but he isnt stupid, he KNOWS what mikasa acts like when shes in the presence of her crush,, he would know bc he was one ;)

- anyways, maybe your like, going up to ask mikasa for her notes from last class, or just chatting with them to be friendly

- either way mikasa goes from 😳 to 😐 real quick

- shes very quiet which youre used to so you dont really think too long abt her lack of communication. its literally just you and eren talking at this point

- after you leave to,,, idk sit under a tree ?? erens immediately turning to mikasa being like "okay tell me everything"

- she denies the crush on u 😔💔

- but then eren tells armin.

- and eren has a big mouth so who knows who else he told ??

- so finally, after beating up eren for spilling the beans she tells her two closest friends EVERYTHING

- like from how nice your hair smells to how pretty she finds your eyes. how she loves your sense of style. she just likes everything about you

- erens like "i mean yeah theyre rlly cute but like,,, what do you like about them that isnt physical 😐"

- mikasa starts blushing HARD. and slowly goes to her bedroom in their shared apartment, before slinking back out holding a crinkly folded piece of paper.

- its something you wrote and it says "thanks for studying with me mikasa !! let me treat you to boba as a thanks. youre so sweet, ill see you next class babie"

- erens looking at the note like 😐 mf is this it ??

- armins flipping it back and forth and reading it over and over again

- mikasa just says "theyre kind to everyone. and theyre funny. i just like them a lot."

- erens like 🙄 k but armins all for it

- then they start coming up with a plan to get you to like mikasa back (even though mikasa doesnt want that)

- erens an asshole and says "mikasa i love you and you will always be my number one, HOWEVER. they might just see you as a friend, OR WORSE. an aquaintance. we gotta make u so cool that youre irresistable"

- now mikasa is a bit worried

- HOWEVER. what none of those idiots know is that YOU have had a fat crush on mikasa since you asked her for a pencil at the beginning of the semester 😍 she stared at u like 😐✏️ and u were like "omg thanks 😊" w a little blush on ur cheeks bc mikasa's hot

- i mean,, if you didnt like mikasa WHY would you have invited her out for boba ?? one, who doesnt like boba ?? and two,, doesnt that count as a date ? u didnt know but u just wanted to like ✨subtly✨ shoot your shot

- but that was almost a month ago and she hasnt said yes. so you assume she didnt wanna go

- a few days go by after mikasa tells her friends all about her crush. and like,,, they do nothing ?? what happened to the big plan of making mikasa seem like the coolest person around ?

- it turns out eren doesnt know enough about you to know what you like. and ur dumbass friends aint help either.

- so one day he finds you and mikasa coming out of your shared class, your talking about something and mikasa is just nodding with a blush on her cheeks.

- he runs up to both of you before saying "hey just to let you know mikasa has a big crush on you. and she'd love to go get boba with you 😁👍"

- mikasa gets so red in the face and starts smacking him with her binder. you couldnt stop it even if you tried

- after literally YELLING at them for their attention you just turn to mikasa like "please get boba with me 🥺" and she cant resist

- and then the rest is history 😌✨

- after the boba date you learned so much about her and vice versa. you guys were like,, closer than ever. always going to her apartment or her coming to your dorm

- you guys would have sleepovers very frequently. nothing ever happens but you two like being so close with each other

- and you guys do a lot together when you arent busy with school or work or friends

- mikasa takes you to cool museums and art galleries

- you take her to cool shops downtown and parks

- its so fun

- but you cant help but wonder if youre dating or not ?? like do you have the right to call mikasa your gf ?? you guys havent kissed on the lips but she always kisses your head when you cuddle, and you always take each other out on dates

- on the day you finally bring it up during one of your sleepovers. shes on her back and youre almost on top of her with your arms around her shoulders and your face smushed into her chest

- u just kinda mumble "are you my girlfriend ?"

- and its SILENT.

- u start freaking out bc "omg she doesnt like me 😁👍 im gonna cry"

- until she just quietly says. "yes."

- OFNWIDNKWSMWKKWKALSMQLSME

- ur gonna marry this girl 😐

- her love language ?? definitely acts of service. idc idc.

- when u sleep over shes making you tea without u asking. (u said u liked lavender tea ONCE and this bith got a whole container 😭😭)

- when you have movie nights with her, eren, and armin she always chooses a movie you like ("no we arent watching the florida project again armin cried last time" "yeah but y/n loves it so" "this feels like oppression mikasa" "okay and ?")

- is also very protective. she hears mfs in the halls talking shit about you ?? shes shutting them up with her glare

- also u know how isayama made her goth in his like, highschool thingy ?? yeah 😍

- #gothmikasasupremacy

- she makes her eyeliner and shadow messy on purpose.

- you love just laying her down on her bed and straddling her, just leaning over and doing her makeup for her (jules and anna tease 🙈✨)

- sometimes you guys go to thrift stores and pick out outfits for each other

- one time you found this GORGEOUS floral sundress and she physically shivered from the thought of wearing

- tried it on and looked SO BEAUTIFUL, but it wasnt her style 😐

- also doesnt tell her parents about you ?? not bc shes embarassed or anything but just because she knows her dad is gonna be like "who are they ? what are they like ? where do they live ? whats their major ? where are they from ? whats their zodiac sign ?"

- he doesnt do it to play the "overprotective dad" role but because hes genuinely curious and excited

- she brings you home for the first time and youre so surprised because this tall blond man is her FATHER ?? she looks so much like her mom though its not even funny

- for dinner her mom and dad made traditional japanese food 😭😭 it was so good omfg

- also this has nothing to do with dating headcanons but mikasa used to live off of lunchables as a kid. was literally addicted to the rubber like ham 😍

- her mom is so sweet, and she shows you all of the stuff she's embroidered all these years

- her dad is so extroverted, he loves telling dad jokes. you find them HILARIOUS but mikasa sits there like 😐👍

- he DEMANDS you guys play scrabble. he says it help him figure out who you are as a person. now youre scared 😁👍

- anyways

- you love giving her little kisses on her lips because one, you get some of her moisturizing lip gloss on your lips and two, she blushes SO HARD

- one time you two were on a date and you ran into her ex. whos literally so scary

- her name is annie and shes blonde and muscular and rlly hot but has that same blank stare as mikasa

- you feel kinda weird bc how did she go from being with ANNIE to you ??

- you ask her abt it and shes like "oh yeah we dated in our last year of high school. im much happier with you" and now youre feeling all giggly and happy bc mikasa doesnt lie 😭😭

- u roll around on her bed with your cheeks squished together to hide your blush bc you feel so good that she said that

- she just rolls her eyes before getting on top of you and taking your hands away from your face

- she gives u kisses all over before putting the final one on your lips. its such a soft and sweet moment with just the two of you, you cant help but confirm what youve already thought:

youre gonna marry her one day.

a/n

i REAAALLLLYYYY enjoyed making this oml. i hope u all enjoyed this !! remember: requests r open for anything aot OR u can give me ideas for other fandoms to write for

kk goodbye friends 🤩🤩🤩

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

ah yeah, i think quarentine has given people some opportunity to actually just sit with the person they are, rather than be rushing around for the person they want to become. its good you got smth good out of isolation! ah thats great! hope you had fun and ur partner in crime speeds back home so you can get out more hehe.

ah yeah ty, good suggestions.

hmm good point, i was sort of putting it separate to the whole not-sexualising thing, but yeah. mmm yeah i totally agree, some of the enhypen fics/imagines *shudder* and even reading innie stuff is just a bit *icky* cos everyone still thinks of him as our agi ppang. yeah def would be good but sadly this just seems to be the world we live in. :(

ah yes the holy masterlist (not sarc) i have actually read in the rain and gladius maximus before, but ill go look for in class! oooh thats good! character development lol. hmmmm yes champagne problems was the angst to end all angst, that shit hurt. it was actually one of the first of your fics i read and i recall almost crying over the whole thing, it was so heartbreaking, i can see how it almost made you want to drop angst. good that youve allowed yourself some lee-way tho :)

hehe thats so cool. okay here we go, ill try not to be mortally offended (/hj)

cheese - yes same, i liked it but that was all there was, it wasnt a super standout track. it was rlly underwhelming for me but some of the hook is super catchy so there is Redemption (tm) in store for cheese maybe

thunderous - mmm, yeah at first i totally agreed, i think they suffer from too much good music syndrome, that all their other tracks are such fucking bops its hard to stay at that level of perfection. the choreo was beautiful tho and tbh, the track has grown on me since ive been watching all the vids abt it. its my brothers favourite track

domino - YES GODAMMIT IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE TITLE TRACK. the raps, the vocals, the vibes, the fucking domino sound in the back? i would have streamed that shit on repeat. but tbh, as good as it is, it doesnt have that sort of grandness/oomph that skz seems to like in their title tracks so i can see why they chose thunderous (tho domino would have been so good) *sigh*

ssick - yeah same, not my fave track by a long mile, the crowd cheering was a ?strange? choice and the chorus was a bit bare/empty, plus like i mentioned earlier, it was kinda funny to me for some reason but ill still play it if im playing thru the whole album

the view - ahh one of those not like other girls (/j) i honestly think its just a good party song, just a bop to play in the background when nobodys rlly paying much attention. its pretty generic pop music but catchy

sorry, i love you - hehe yeah i thought it was going to be sadder as well, but i rlly loved the fact that they all just got to sing, which almost never happens, i dont think ive heard felix sing for a long time, so i enjoyed it. wasnt rlly a standout track but i just casually like it. looking forward to the fic haha

silent cry - this song i swear, some bits are rlly good and then others are just? why?? it does sound like a dance song tho idk. definitely not one of my faves either

secret secret - YES its so good! its such a chill song and i love their vocals in it. the combination of lo-fi/fake strings backup stuff and their heavenly vocals just makes it *chefs kiss* im listening to it rn and just... its so beautiful. it gives me pumped up another day vibes ya know? like my pace is edgy get cool, this one is energetic another day i feel like. overall i love it

STAR LOST - ah thats so cool! i didnt know that! on first listen this song had a similar vibe to secret secret but then the beat came in and ahh its such a good song. i can totally imagine them putting this song to a concert footage vid, this song is so sweet.

red lights - LMAO YES ITS SO AWKWARD WHY DOES IT GO ON FOR SO LONG ah thats good! yeah good point, its quite intense hehe. but that is my fave trope and this is lowkey my favourite track on the album so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ just the combination of hyunjins and chans voices, the backing music, the lyrics ahh red lights my beloved

surfin’ - yes lmao its always a shock, i feel like they should have put gone away in between them, but its such a fun cute song, i cant get rlly mad. yeah, as an aussie i think im contractually obligated to like beaches lol. sand im not such a fan of, but my familys rlly into fishing and my brother loves bodyboarding so we stay at a beach house at least twice a year and we live like 5 mins from 3 different beaches (hehe all aussie cities are on the coast lol) so thats cool. do you like beaches?

gone away - ah gone away my beloved, i love this song sm, its just so pure and showcases their vocals and lyrics so well. yes the pitch change is very out of the blue, i feel liek they went directly from seungmins soft vocals to hans powerful ones which was an interesting choice, but hey, im not complaining

wolfgang - YES IKR ah im so happy he got to be included in that era and song. yeah its such a full on song i cant rlly listen to it if im in a quiet mood but its very motivating :)

hehe mood, i hope they do! ahhh no rest, but at least you wont have to pull a blink and wait a year for any word from the group lol. im not rlly into nct but im excited for them! ah hopefully youll be able to sneak some rest into that chaotic schedule, with enhypen (idk if u stan but yeah) squeezed into it haha

<3 w.a. 🐺

i wheezed at partner in crime, it reminded me of smth. i have a lee know fic in the drafts that i wrote 'in honor' of him (and his departure-ish). i'll tag you when i finish it, if you want. it's a rather hilarious one.

oh my god. based on my experience on the collabs i've joined before, writing explicit shit for '01 & '02 is not accepted (nct's maknaes) but with enha's hyung line '01 & '02 somehow it's okay? i do a double take every time i see fics like those i mean, technically, it's legal but still what the fuck. maybe it's just not for me at the moment. not at us venting our frustration about this. it's just something that's so accepted here that i am (in all honesty) slightly uncomfortable about. but oh well. that's kpop writerblr for you.

man i could've linked all the fics in the ask instead so you wouldn't have to go looking for them! i think i saw you like in class the other day (the fic i renamed into sharp-tongued, god it took me a while to remember the new title). describing champagne problems as an angst to end all angst is one way to put what i was feeling back in december. it just hurt to write and admit?? if that ever happened to me i would prolly cry :d

okay back to the album talk! i love how you answered with more thoughts. i love exchanges like these! i am a victim of the cheese hook and it's now one of my favorite tracks in the album. PLS, TOO MUCH GOOD MUSIC SYNDROME. that's on our self-producing kings 😌💅 also, your brother has taste! as i am typing this, domino's currently playing in my head and i realized that too, that it doesn't have that 'vibe' of a skz title track. honestly, this could be a title track of another group. ssick is starting to grown on me because i found the beats cool kdjsk not the not like other girls 😭 the view is the generic pop that i don't like but i get why a lot of people enjoy it. sorry i love you scratches a certain itch that i find myself singing the first few lines every time i remember it. i too would want to hear felix sing more!

> a mini junction on the album talk bc i got side tracked. on that topic, i want skz to switch positions at some point like i know those allrounders are capable of doing so. specifically, i want to hear seungmin rap!!!! (yk in the recent weekly idol he talked faster than changbin in a challenge and changbin is like the fastest rapper in kpop that's active atm if im not mistaken. my dandy boy has some potential and i want it UNLEASHED.)

back to album talk. silent cry is basically sad music to twerk to. secret secret is definitely one of my favorite tracks :( i loved how you compared the tracks HAJSAH i burst out laughing bc yk what, you're right! i want to make a star lost edit of skz but i simply do not have the time i want to cry. i love the song so much. ok, my dreaded track, red lights. idt i have played the track since we last talked. my friend sent me the lyrics tho and i'm itching to write a twisted au out of it. idk if you're comfortable with yandere but somewhere along those themes. the obsessive type of love that's sweet at first but turns rotten. IMAGINE IF THEY PUT GONE AWAY BETWEEN ASHJA it's like going from 50 shades to the notebook.

i was about to ask if you lived near the coast and you literally mentions it here god im so stupid. yes i LOOOOOOOOOVE beaches so much. living in an archipelago is fun :( i live in a part of the country that's more island than city so every time i want some vitamin sea it's accessible. i heard the waves in australia are great :( anYWHOOO gone away :(( every time it plays im compelled to skip it because it makes me sAD AND NOWADAYS I DONT HAVE THE TIME TO BE SAD. contrary to you, i dislike my quiet moods because i tend to overthink a lot.

i have this little analogy about how there are stays that enjoy songs the generic pop + mellow songs and then there are other stays that enjoy the noisy tracks. in my mind, it's like a perfect balance that makes me feel like all the tracks are loved in the end. just by different people.

PULL A BLINK. bro i fucking hate yg entertainment. they have the biggest kpop girl group LOCKED in their basement when they could be (and i mean this in the most business-like way not morally) milking money of the quad. they're yg's biggest hope at not being bankrupt atm so it's a damn fucking mystery to me as to how they aren't doing anything. (jk i just realized lisa solo album soon, but i still need a ot4 cb hELLO)

i stopped looking forward to the teasers. rest > kpop boys. i don't want to sound like a cult member but have you tried checking out nct? are they just not your thing? (i get it tho, that's one hard group to get into). and yes i do stan enhypen!

wow i love how long these asks are! they're like online penpals. but i also want to ask about you! how have you been lately? are you feeling okay both mentally and physically? how's the weather there? do you have anything that you want to talk about? maybe an interesting book you read? feel free to bring up anything you want to share! i'm getting conscious about talking about myself HAJHSJ

and yet another long answer B) i am sooo sorry T___T should these ask exchanges feel draining to you, feel free to stop sending them in AAAA

[strawberryspeachy]

So on the last day of july i went clubbing

Almost immediately met a cute boy and he asked me to go to a hotel with him. I debated but ultimately went with him. He asked if i wanted to go on a date because fucking japanese assholes equate date with hotel.

Went. Hooked up. Then. He said he wanted to go back to the club because otherwise “it would be a waste of his night”

Yeah

So... went back.... watched him look for another girl. And felt like shit

Eventually a boy that was ok looking talked to me. I didnt ignore him and he got excited over me talking to him after having ignored other boys. I didnt intend to continue talking to him but he was so excited the entire time and was nice so i just stayed with him.

We left together and sat on some sidewalk and talked. I saw that both his arms had cut marks all over them

And as a fucked up person... i stupidly think that other fucked up people will be as empathetic as i try to be and my depressed friends back home

He told me some of his shitty homelife - apparently he doesnt have parents

He asked me to go to a hotel with him and i said no... so we went to eat instead...

He kept being overly nice (in words) told me that he works at an old folks home and that he wants to learn english and come to america and help me take care of my mom.... in a sudden way

Rationally im not stupid and know that was a line. But im pretty stupid in general

He kept asking me to be his gf and i told him id need to go on a date with him to decide that

I just wanted to say no but...

He didnt pay for my meal - ya im one of those girls that that bothers

We seperated and he continued to text my the next few days. We set up a date. He asked me to go to him in yokohama - an hour away from tokyo

Since id never been there i said yes. But this meant i had to pay an expensive train ticket

He did pay for dinner and afterwards convience store for me... mostly... asking if i had change

He wanted to drink at the pier and insisted i get a drink but didnt pay for it

And then took me back to his apartment

It ended up being fun

The next morning while he was showering i was just poking around at his stuff. Not actually looking for anything just curious about the things he has

I looked at his wallet (honestly to see the design but i also always wonder why japanese guys are so comfortable leaving money around who is generally a stranger)

And then. I found. Picture from a photobooth. Him amd soem girl. It was dated from a week before.

He told me the night we met that he broke up with his ex a year ago. But this picture looked very much like a couple

I asked him about it and he just said sorry and threw it in the trash (not a real trash. It could easily be taken out) he said it was from a year ago

After. Bit i took it out amd pointed at the date. He literally hummed and refused to comment ...but he told me hell only see me...

I shouldn’t take that as enough but i did and told him when i got home that ill only se him too. I told him i liked him - and to this point he kept saying he likes me over and over. He has not said it since this. Just said he was happy that i used his name.

After that i went to okinawa for a few days. He told me his sim card broke and he doesnt have wifi unless he goes to a convience store (as an excuse to text slow)

I got back the next week and stayed home all week from a yeast infection that i think he gave me. When he barely responded i told him that

Then he responded continuously telling me that i just got it on my own and hes healthy so it wasnt him

That weekend i went drinking with some friends and messaged him. He responded immediately and i called him. Asking when his phone got fixed. He told me the day before

Then he told me he has pink eye and sent a picture. He said he cant go out of his house because of it

The next week was my birthday. He said hed be cured the day after and we could celebrate. Then he cancelled saying the doc told him hes still contagious

A few days after he sent me a picture of him with makeup on and contacts in saying he went to the salan. I responded immediately asking if he was still contagious and tried to call. He ignored me

I tried to call more throughout the day

Nothing

Over 24 hours pased so i used another account to say hi to him. After 2 hours he responded to the fake account asking who it was

And i flipped the fuck out. I told him a bunch of reasons why he sucked and that he did and fuck him

Then he responded to me with long messages. Many of which i couldnt understand (hes used incorrect kanji before that which makes translation strained)

His excuse was that he felt sick and slept for 20 hours (but he ignored me for over 27)and that he wanted to answer his texts in order. That he doesnt look at him phone much and then got mad at me for not being worried about him and instead getting mad

He didnt addresss any of my complaints like the fact that if im his gf i should be a priority

But because im a sucked i felt bad for trying to hurt him and apologized.... he said hed forgive me if i buy him an accessory next time we hung out...

Yeah. Red flags. I too if i had other options... would have said. Thats a weird way to accept an apology.

Also before (on that first date) when we talked about our bdays cause his was a bit before mine. I asked him what hed wanna do as a late celebration. He immediately told me he wanted yakiniku (an expensive meat meal) and clothes or accessorys from an expensive brand he likes...

So he continued to take over 24 hours to reply to me. With very small responces - he never asks me questions. I asked him to call the night before i went camping and he said he couldnt because he was too drunk from drinking with friends. I went camping and came back and got him on the phone. I demanded him to call and he said he couldnt cause he was tired from work and would the following day

I told him it makes me upset that he doesnt talk to me and that i constantly dont feel good because of him. He just said sorrry. I planned to say this is over if he didnt agree to meet me. But he agreed to a date the coming sunday... the day before i began work again. He said hed come to tokyo and and had a plan. It sounded fun.

Well come sunday morning.... he cancelled. He said he didnt have money. I tried to call him several times and he ignored me.

I confronted him in person. He got mad at me for it. Said he got some sort debt collection and got frauded... someone used his name to take out money and he has to pay court. He said he doesnt have money because of it.

I asked why he never tells me whats going on with him (because im dumb and beleive this... actually i dont. I hope hes being honestly and just has really bad luck but)

This time like last time i told him the way he treats me is how really awful boys who are using me and playing with me treat me. And i cant trust him if hes like this but doesnt tell me why

Well...i was there... i offered to pay for out date.... besides the 11 dollars it takes to get to him

He asked me to put 5 dollars on his train card.... it takes 3 dollads to get to and from where we went. He... mad sure no matter where we would eat it would cost 40 bucks - wanting to drink alc and such. It costed 43 dollars. He wanted starbucks but i kinda said no by saying i dont rlly like starbucks - but he still wanted to get a dessert - 3 dollars

And... he wanted me to buy him that aftermentioned accessory... a ring. He looked at very expensive ones... i... would not have paid for even as stupid as i am.. the one he got was 15 or 25 I forget which...

The thing is... if he wasnt actually... if i wasn’t comfortable being with him i woulda stopped this before... unfortunately. As usual. Despite initially not being attracted to him i really enjoyed his company and find him to be fun...

He said that we should go home at 8 i asked about going back to him place and he said no because hes tired and has work the next day. He knows i also do too. At the same time. And i tried to convince him and he kept saying no. Then i asked doesnt he wanna have sex. He said that we should go to a hotel. And i protested that hotels are expensive and his apartments free and just a cheap train station away. He said hes too tired and just wants to sleep at his apartment but hotels are exciting so hed be awake at a hotel.

He pushed them and i said at that point id be spending like 100 dollars on the day and he knows i also dont have a lot of money.

We awkwardly went to a manga cafe that was only 5 dollars but it wanted you to make a card that costs 5 more dollads. And then i got fussy because too much stress literally makes me lose control of my emotions.

It fucking sucks and i hate it. I have no fucking control over my emotions when my stress is bubbling (which it almost always is) and boils over.

I asked him if he can even pay just the 5 dollars and he said he has no money. I asked how hes gonna get to work with literally no money and he said his conpany pays for it (yea japanese conpanies pay AFTER you go )

We left. It was a bad mood. He didnt storm away from me even though i was basically crying in the street (i have had this happen with even friends. I start crying and they just walk away so even though it should be expected of someone claiming to be your bf... ya)

Anyhow i told him i just wanted to cuddle and talk and kiss

He looked annoyed but i guess he thought those wants were cute and looked for a isolated place

Because were in japan

Couldnt find one cause we were in a city and he again just started saying lets go home. That hes tired and not in the mood.

But we were in a quiet enough play.

And im bitching here but ill take a quick break to say i kept hugging him and stuff which he liked despite saying he was really embarrassed

He told me ealier ok that because of this debt thing hes gonna work two jobs

Which. Terrified me. The first guy I went on a date with in Japan asked me to be his gf and to move in with him and said he had to work two jobs for a month to afford to move so he wouldnt have time to see me. He told me his progress for two weeks and then ghosted me.

This boy told me hell make time to see me when i complained about not doing anything physical when i wouldnt see him again for who knows how long

Welp. Todays saturday and that was sunday. And while at first i thought he was trying because he replied to my messages in or at 24 hours for a few days. Its gone back to the 17 hours

And i asked him to talk on the phone

And he just said not tonight because after his current job hes working at home too

And because im dumb ive waisted my whole saturday waiting for him to reply and crying.

[boojersey]

VIC DO ALL THE ASKS BC I LOVE U AND WANT U TO HAVE FUN

*SWEATS* AYE AYE CAPN

cw for like some common lgbt+ topics such as dysphoria violence discrimination etc just. tread carefully if u get triggered easily by bad lgbt experiences

What do you identify as and what are your pronouns? -im a gay trans man and my pronouns are he/him but they/them is also acceptable!

How did you discover your sexuality, tell your story?-oh wow i originally thought i was a lesbian because i didnt even know what transgender was i just thought wishing i was a man meant i was butch and then i met my friend donnie in eighth grade who told me he was trans and it was kinda a huge slap in the face but with a sack of gay bricks? and i found out i dont like women through actually having sex with cis women and finally realizing it. really wasnt for me so now im just a gay man as opposed to queer as an umbrella term but i periodically refer to myself as such

Have you experienced being misgendered? What happened and how did you overcome it?-oh yea i literally was misgendered today i just kinda brush it off but it can be hard sometimes especially when people know im trans and do it

Who was the first person you told, how did they react?-i first told donnie about my gender, it was a thing where i went to bed the night i met him and was like  .. wait holy fuck and then the next day i was like BRO HOLY FUCK but sexuality? i dont really know???? it was so long ago it was honestly probably my group of friends on kik that i had in 2013 (u were included in that mister!!!!)

Describe what it was like coming out, what did you feel?-im not actually fully out but the first time someone who was an adult knew about my trans-ness was what really set in for me the fact that i could come out one day; my friends mom referred to me as seance (and like. obviously she respected my gender she has a trans kid) but it was just super jarring bc no adult had known yet abt my identity in any way and as a result i was rlly glad it was nighttime in that car bc i cried almost immediately; the first time i came out on my Own was to my cousin and he laughed in my face so that was pretty damn awful and its kinda funny cuz the bastard is bi so u would think hed have been accepting but n0pe!

If you’re out, how did your parents/guardians/friends react?-im out to my friends now ! and the reception was generally positive bc i think i do an ok job at picking ppl to be around in terms of morals so there was little bad reception

What is one question you hate people asking about your sexuality?-i hate when ppl ask if im gay as in for men or gay as in for women because im trans, i am a man so when i say im gay i feel like that should be easy enough to put 2 and 2 together but when they ask that i feel as if they still view me as a woman

Describe the style of clothing that you most often wear.-emo of the gods themselves it is absolute scene and emo vomit and i love it; its seriously hard for me to wear dresses and skirts without dysphoria and just general discomfort but i own a couple anyway bc theyre cute i just. never wear them

Who are your favourite lgbt+ ships?-my main thing at the moment is gerard/frank/grant morrison bc i love poly fics very dearly and gerard/bert because bert mccracken deserved better than gerawrds internalized homophobia lol

What does makeup mean to you? Do you wear any?-makeup to me is an androgynous thing so i wear eyeshadow a lot and lipstick sometimes, eyeshadow is easier on my eyes than eyeliner bc im allergic to a lot of makeup thats on the heavier side so if i put on eyeliner my eyes will water and burn throughout the day but with eyeshadow im mostly ok; other opinion is that makeup on Anyone can be sexy as hell if they do it for fun and wear literally what they truly want and not just what they think is accepted or what they Should wear

Do you experience dysphoria? If so, how does that affect you?-oh yeah my dysphoria is pretty debilitating if im gonna be honest; i used to have very little problems with it because my hold on reality was loose at best (before i was medicated to clarify) but now that i am almost completely Here my dysphoria is pretty bad and even just like. the knowledge that i have breasts is pretty awful; a few weeks ago i put on an outfit that i have to wear a victorias secret bra to fit properly in and just one look in the mirror had me sobbing and i had to change my clothes before i could leave the house and i havent worn a bra since because just the thought of showing off my chest makes this stark fuckin dread shoot through my veins but i also have dysphoria in regards to my voice that i discussed at my last trans therapy group meeting actually ; my voice has a tendency to bounce around my octave range so sometimes ill be like. excited then hear what i sound like. and ruin it for myself immediately u kno? im not even gonna talk about my dicksphoria bc thats just. awful. 

What is the stupidest thing you’ve heard said about the lgbt+ community?-ohhhhhhhh my god u know what? ive heard..so much .. that im gonna instead take this opportunity to mention my mother genuinely thinks dnd is satanic

What’s your favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?-the fact that were so strong. we are so fucking strong we deal with violence and opposition constantly and at staggering rates yet we stay strong and we continue loving through all of it, whether its in dark corners in secret or loudly in the streets we continue loving and do so with all of our beings because we know its our own truth and well gladly go to hell if it means we got to love on earth (not that everyone believes in hell or the idea that us gays go to hell but my point stands)

What’s your least favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?-we have this audacity to create divide (to the fault of mostly cis white gay men thank u very much) when what we need to do is love each other because we are different but at the end of the day we all need to remain in tandem and as a family or we will never get to where we need to in terms of acceptance and that means being uplifting and protecting our trans sisters of color, our disabled lgbt members, our autistic lgbt members, our anything past cis white gay man because we all need recognition, we all need love, and to exclude any letters of lgbt is to tear ourselves down and set ourselves on fire

Have you ever been to your cities pride event? Why or why not?-no :((( no one would drive me in the past and i dont think ill have a way to get there this year either

Who is your favourite lgbt+ Icon/Advocate/Celebrity?-brian molko! my bisexual, androgynistically-inclined father who birthed me at the tender age of 16 when i found placebo

Have you been in a relationship and how did you meet?-ya theres been a few and i dont rlly like to talk abt my relationships with anyone unless theyre online relationships so im just gonna leave it at that

What is your favourite lgbt+ book?-pantomime by laura lam! its one of if not my favorite book to this day

Have you ever faced discrimination? What happened?-y a every damn day bitch ! example is when i was deadnamed by my psychiatrist while she knows full well what my name is the other day; another is the countless times i get called a lesbian ???? and when strict lesbians ask me out i get a very bad taste in my mouth (i understand full well that sexuality is fluid, these are lesbians that spit the ‘penis is gross blegh’ rhetoric)

Your Favorite lgbt+ movie or show?-uh im just gonna say preacher bc its my favorite show altogether n cass is bi/pan/something similar

Who are some of your favourite lgbt+ bloggers?-@ble3dmagic is my boyfriend in crime (not rlly thats a joke) and @musicalsense​ is my sunburnt Brother

Which lgbt+ slur do you want to reclaim?-queer! i also use f*ggot a lot when talking about myself and my friends that are ok with it

Have you ever gone to a gay bar, or a drag show, how was it?-i went to a drag show and it was so amazing and one of the first times i felt accepted in my own community that i cried

How do you self-identify your gender, and what does that mean to you?-well i identify as a man with no leaning towards womanhood or nonbinaryhood in any way, its just . man . but in terms of Expression i am quite androgynous bc i can rlly appreciate femininity (NOT the same as womanhood) and being a man to me means just that ive always wanted to grow up with that “gender role” like i always wish i was raised as a stereotypical parent would raise a son and ive always been more interested in stereotypically masculine things and people since i can even remember and i feel like puberty was just this unpreventable spiral into something i didnt want. i didnt want it at all . this is tmi but when i got my first period i cried my eyes out bc the idea of being called a Woman repulsed me so much and since i didnt even know that being trans was a concept i was just this scared puppy full of confusion and fear aimed at myself because all the stuff i heard i was supposed to be proud of the change but i wasnt i was so ashamed of it and the idea of being called a woman made me sick to my stomach and i just wish i could go back in time and hold myself and tell me itll be alright 

Are you interested in having children? Why or why not?-absoLutely not i hate kids (and by that i mean i hate being around them and the culture that surrounds having children; i do not treat kids like shit and i do not act like hating children is a personality trait; i get migraines and usually the second a child starts screaming or crying i am on the floor of my brain writhing in dire pain and i have absolutely no desire to support another human life when frankly i cant even support myself; its also just not a lifestyle i want to live)

What identity advice would you give your younger self?-god so fucking much. so fucking much. so many things i wish i could say to myself

What do you think of gender roles in relationships?-i think if someone wants to adhere to them then hell yea go ahead just dont expect others to do it or try to tell other people its a Norm or something; theyre for the most part christian in nature so i dont have any desire to follow them myself, i want a relationship (if any) thats more of a coexistence if that makes sense, like. roommates plus dick

Anything else you want to share about your experience with gender?-i always used to anxiously chew on the idea that my chest dysphoria is just me holding disdain for the shape and size of my breasts but let me tell you. the second i put on my binder for the first time i immediately started crying because i was so overwhelmed by the fact that i was looking at something one step closer to myself and i know full well i am never going to have that doubt again. this week has been exponentially cathartic and therapeutic for me

What is something you wish people know about being lgbt+?-i want the cisheteros to know that nothing they learn about us is new. everything about us has been around for so so long but has been silenced and erased to the point where a lot of us dont even know many things about our rich and beautiful history

Why are proud to be lgbt+?-honestly? its hard for me to not just straight up say im not proud of my identity. its taken me years to stamp down the plain grieving toward my identity and wishing i could have the easier path but frankly? the fact that i am choosing this path of hardship and hell on earth just to be who i truly am i think speaks volumes of my pride in my identity at this point; further back in my archive by a few years my posts are littered with sentiments of bitterness wherein i stated that i hate being trans and not just cis but i like to think ive finished hating myself for my identity. i like to think im proud now. to ask me why is to ask too much of me, all i know now is that i am proud and thats enough for me right now.

[starrysence]

amusement park date hc’s with uhhh any ship you want i can’t choose

i already briefly did this for ralbert so i’m gonna do mike/jojo bc 1.) i love writing hcs for them and 2.) they just like? totally would go on amusement park dates y'know????warnings: ummm mike is an absolute disaster and gets himself hurt a lot so very small blood tw×××

●so y'know how showing affection publicly is a gradual thing for these two?? well the first date mike decides to bring jojo out on once he knows jo is comfortable w/ some pda is an amusement park date▪he REFUSES to tell jojo where theyre going until they get there▪kind of worried abt it bc what if jo hates amusement parks or something???? mikey here is in a lil bit of a panic▪but it goes down the drain the moment mike sees jojo’s face absolutely LIGHT UP when he sees where they are▪"we’re going on an amusement park date?!?!?!?!? ive always wanted to go on one of these dates oHmygosh!!!“▪hes SO EXCITED▪mike cant. he just? cant. he loves his bf so much●jojo is literally on the verge of BURSTING with excitement the entire time after they enter the place and mike loves it ▪he wants to go on all the craziest rides which actually kinda surprises mike??▪hes always thought of jo as the kind of person who would like simpler and slower rides▪but NOPE▪however,,, is mike opposed to this? no. absolutely not.▪"we should try and go on ALL the rollercoasters”▪"HECK YES"●mike is pretty clumsy not gonna lie▪at some point he cut his knee open on the corner of a metal table bc he tripped over a fuckin rock or something and jojo had to rush him to the car to bandage him up▪mike feels bad bc he knows jojo gets kinda queasy at the sight of blood▪but hes so impressed that jo’s being so chill handling this??? his boy is so strong. yes. look at him go▪"im really surprised you haven’t, like, fainted yet, jo"▪"don’t jinx it, i’ve gotten extremely close to passing out on you at least 6 times in the last 5 minutes"▪"youre so brave i love you"▪"i love you too. dont keep worrying me like this, you,,,,, you klutzy dork. please take care of yourself !!“▪'klutzy dork?’ thats the best insult jojo can muster?▪mike cant help but laugh and he Melts when jojo pouts at him for it▪"im sorry but? klutzy dork is the best you can do? youre so cute baby”▪then he like kisses jojo on the nose and jojo cant stay upset. boy starts smiling so wide mike is worried its hurting his cheeks●theyre LIVING for the amusement park food ▪jo gets SO HYPED when he sees that theres churros▪"can i get 3?“▪"babe theres 2 of us”▪"actually i meant 3 for me…. i wasnt sure how many you wanted though"▪"holy crap, jojo"▪hes is almost scared by the speed at which jojo eats the churros (after he offers some to mike, ofc)▪mike, on the other hand, lives for the classic Theme Park Pizza™▪not much to say here tbh▪he could eat several slices of that stuff▪jojo rlly has no place to judge▪he just finds it impressive ▪"9, huh? think thats a new record"▪"WOOOOOOOOO"●so they eat the food after going on all the rides they wanted to go on plus some, so they settle for some of the games!!!!!! jo wins mike a few prizes but mike kinda gets carried away and wins jojo a lot. so many things. they have to get a bag to hold it all its really funny, jojo is giggling the whole time and mike is so in Love▪and by the time theyre done bagging everything its getting dark out and these boys are getting tired▪so mike suggests ending their time there by going on the ferris wheel!!▪jojo is so on board yes ferris wheel w/ his bf LET’S GO▪the sun is setting around the time theyre on it and when theyre at the top jo sees mike in that lighting and???? what can i say. boy cant help himself▪he goes IN for that cheesy top-of-the-ferris-wheel kiss▪LO AND BEHOLD it IS their first kiss▪"wow wow wowow ow wow wosiw wo w weown ejdjfjfjfjjgkkds" -mike’s mind when jo kisses him▪its just???? everything you expect from these boys honestly▪soft. sweet. gentle. extremely loving and pure ▪theyre so wholesome yall my HEART●so mike is exhausted afterwards but he still thinks he should treat his lovely boyfriend to some dessert ▪mike knows theres a stewart’s at a gas station only about 15 minutes on the way to his place from the amusement park▪so they go there!!!▪jo is practically asleep in his seat so mike asks him what flavor he wants and tells him that he’ll get both orders from him▪"what?? no you dont have to do that…!!“▪mike can tell jojo is trying to be resistant but he can also tell jojo is extremely tired so he INSISTS▪jo tells mike his order and mike kisses him on the cheek before going to get their orders▪the ice cream wakes jo up for a little bit and they kinda just sit in the car talking for a lil while ●…….they dont get back home til the next day▪they went to like this REALLY GOOD amusement park several hours away and just got so exhausted at some point on the way back to mike’s place?? and caffeine Does Not work on mike. and jo’s already out cold and mike really doesnt wanna wake him▪so mike pulls up at the next service area and texts ike to let him know whats going on and then he just crashes y'know??▪they wake up the next day feeling EXTREMELY refreshed!! so they grab some breakfast from the service area and take their time eating it before continuing the drive back▪jo starts laughing bc he has like 50 missed calls and 704847385 texts from elmer and buttons (tHeY wErE rOoMmAtEs) and has to text them to tell them hes ok and hes gonna be at mike’s for a little while▪they had a Good Time

×××

wow i would honestly die for these two????? holy shit. i hope you like these!!!

-sanj 💕

tag list:

@but-let-us-seize-the-day​

@one-candy-cane-please​

@suddenly-im-respecsable​

@intoomanyfandomstopickaname​

@be-more-chill-evan-hansen​

@aw-jus-let-em-try

@bencookisagod​

@well-the-kids-do-too​

@auspicioustarantula​

@spot-conlon-king-of-brooklyn​

@have-we-got-news-for-you​

@not-a-scab​

@newsiesgarbage​

@pineappapizza

@andthewoildwillknow​

@concrete–donuts​

@stopthe-presses​

@thomasbeingthomas

@i-love-loki-and-sherlock

@maxvanna

@spot-me50-papes

[if you want to be added to my tag list, please shoot me an ask or a message letting me know! i’d be happy to add you!]

[kadywicker]

inifnity war spoilers ahead please leave now if u dont wanna see em

.....

............

....

.....

you had WARNING

anyway heres a rough outline of my thought process thru the movie from what i can remember 

a dude walked in wearing a justice league shirt and it was the biggest power move of the evening

rip heimdall u truly were the hottest bitch in the mcu

i already saw the spoilers that loki died but im still in mourning. my chaotic twink son :( also him tearing up when thor was getting tortured was like, possibly, one of the worst things to happen to me this evening. and his “you will never be a god” and “we will see the sun rise again yet, brother” like i’d rather be dead.

wheres valkyrie you fucking bitches

i know marvel has been trying to make me care about pepper and tony for like.... the entirety of the mcu and in theory i enjoy it but in reality i just heavily do not care

walked into this w out watching dr strange bc i refuse to so seeing him was very unpleasant for me :/

the second that one fuckin... servant of thanos guy showed up that tony called squidward i just burst into fucking laughter bc oh my fucking god. he looks like one of the star wars prequels aliens. i didnt know how i was supposed to react to that??? what the fuck????? kin? 

at least this time tony attempted to get peter away from the fight ig??? also like okay i kno its a running gag but did the russos have to make peter reference old movies like what 3 times in this movie and once in their last one like please..... Please. its done. its over! 

look...... look. look! look. i have made MULTIPLE posts on this website about how ugly i think chris evans is. especially when hes got his weird short, spiky hair. ive made this very VERY clear. i thought i was clear on this, myself. but let me tell u the fuck what when steven grant rogers showed up covered in complete darkness and caught a spear that moves at the speed of light w no hesitation and then stepped out of the shadows i only had one thought: please raw me

also i still dont care about wanda and vision but did wandas accent get slightly less bad or is this just exposure

drax’s reaction to thor was um. Me. also it was this scene that made me realize that ppl saying that the russos reset thor to his previous characterization and that he was nothing like ragnarok thor i....????? hm???? idk i thought he was p in character from what we saw in ragnarok? like did u all expect him to be super light and happy go lucky immediately after his entire planet died and his brother died too like. what.... did u Want. hes still not as grimdark as dark world and he still has the ragnarok vibes but w added “Lifes a Fucking Nightmare So Im Going to Joke Until Someone Murders Me :)” which is just honest to god me, so

oh also in an above part when tony pulled out a flip phone to call steve the dude next to me loudly hissed “what? a fucking flip phone-?” and his wife shushed him. i wanted to lean over and inform him that it was the phone from civil war and if hed been paying ATTENTION he wouldve known that

things arent going to be in much order after this bc im tired and its all a big jumble in my adhd brain but thats okay. its been 6 years and i still couldnt tell u the entire plot of the avengers, so.

tbh the effects in this movie were really fucking gorgeous like.... all the different planets’ scenery was so goddamn beautiful. like idk how to spell it so im not gonna attempt but the planet that gamora died on was literally so fucking pretty i was stunned into a silence what the FUCK was that beautiful nonsense

not enough steve and bucky interaction bc marvels personally out to get me, a known gay

i cant believe buckys a fucking goat farmer like ohfa sdfhadof ?????? just let the man feed his goats in PEACE 

didnt love the whole “thanos really loved gamora” bit but like it makes sense ig. if thats what he thought love was? altho that definitely doesnt mean she loves him or shouldve ever forgiven him bc uuuh Yikes. anyone w abusive parents knows that kind of possessive, overbearing love. and it might be some fucked up twisted form of it but it aint good.

but whoever they casted as baby gamora was spot on? 

when red skull lifted his hood i literally whispered “oh my god” and the lady next to me started laughing at me. 

also while there was a good amount of fighting i rlly appreciated that it wasnt All Fighting and just there to show off that they had cool special effects. like.... it was mostly story and for someone who doesnt give a shit abt action sequences it was v relieving that i didnt have to parse through 2 and a half hours of watching someone do cool but impractical stunts 

man idc abt wanda and dont like mcu natasha bc of the actress but when that chick was like “youll die alone” and natasha said “shes not alone” and then kicked ass i rlly just. hm. thats lesbian.

anyone else agree that when strange said mournfully that there was only one outcome and then said that giving up the time stone was the only way, its basically just telling us that this was all planned and it Will work out fine bc he knew that this was the one path that would lead to them winning. like..... im at least 99% sure thats whats going to happen, here.

steve and bucky may have said 2 sentences to each other but steve reaching out to grab a handful of buckys ashes w a stricken look was literally the worst moment of my entire life and i plan to sue marvel for emotional damages bc that was fucking terrible and i cannot BELIEVE they made me watch that idc if bucky comes back im fuckin pissed

also thats literally every team iron man member to realize that the accords were bullshit and if its 2018 and u still think the accords were right/a good thing i honestly do not know what to tell you

fuckin..... im lookin at captain marvels powers and shes cool and all but hows she gonna save all this........ now im even more curious abt what her movies gonna bring like ???? hello??????

also the only time the theater clapped or cheered was when steve showed up and literally same

i know all the dust ppl r coming back but alsof uc kin......... that was brutal

idk i dont have much 2 add im very sleepy but

i liked it a lot and im excited for the next movie. there were some things that i thought were in poor taste but like..... thats what i expect from every marvel movie, so. im pleasantly surprised by how good this was. idk why but during it it kinda like.... it had the same vibes as return of the king????? like i dont know Why but it has a very.... lotr movie feel to it. but w the staple marvel jokes. idk how to feel about that. i think its good? im not sure. get back to me in a few days after the movie highs worn off and if i still like it then its got my stamp of approval. 

[melonmork]

college jungwoo pt 1

alright my honeys are u ready??💕🌷🌸

~okay i dont feel like i know jungwoo as well as the other members since i havent known him as long but im gonna do my best!!

~jungwoo is in his sophomore year studying to be a veterinarian so hes always very busy since he's taking science-intensive classes

~he loves biology. it's easily his best class; he makes As on nearly every assignment and he focuses super hard during labs, but this also means he's almost always either in the campus library or cafe studying or writing lab reports

~his junior friend doyoung always has to drag him away from studying or writing because jungwoo will forget to eat, he'll only drink lattes or hot chocolate for an entire day

~jungwoo resists doyoung but he's always thankful once they're eating together and jungwoo has the chance to see his friends and relax. he's a workaholic, but he enjoys his friends' company immensely when they manage to drag him away from his textbooks

~you're also a sophomore! u know jungwoo because you had bio lab with him in freshman year and he was often your lab partner

~you honestly felt bad when he voluntarily partnered with you because you felt like you werent as good at bio as him. whenever he approached you first about partnering up, you felt like he did it out of pity. after all, he's a sweet boy and he even helped you on your calc homework after labs even though he wasnt in calc

~but you loved being partnered up with him :^) jungwoo would subtly take charge of the lab because he got super excited about being hands-on with the scientific material he was learning about

~he would quietly and patiently help you set up equipment, reaching beakers from high shelves for you without teasing you, lighting burners for you bc those things are scary as heck (jungwoo: is it okay if i do that? i dont want you to get hurt :-o)

~one time he even put your apron on for you and tied the strings behind you (after asking your permission, of course) and you could have sworn you saw a cute dusting of pink on his cheeks as he asked

~u have not forgotten anything about that moment,,,

~also, being his lab partner meant you got to see his cute smile up close!!! actually all year during labs you would glance his way constantly, admiring the soft features of his profile and the way his eyebrows would furrow and he'd purse his lips when he was super concentrated on a task

~sometimes, every now and again, he'd catch you watching him and the two of you would blush and look away and pretend like it never happened

~through the year you two became closer and you exchanged numbers and would send each other notes and ask about each other's lab reports

~eventually the texting ventured away from school and once he even invited you to get smoothies with him at the end of second semester

~but over the summer, you two fell out of touch :~( and this year you didnt have any classes together

~honestly, you missed him a lot. you have chem lab this year and your regular chem partner is sweet and helpful but not as,,, well,,, enchanting as jungwoo was, so you admittedly dont enjoy lab as much as last year

~in fact, u dont even really see him until one night when you're in the library printing out a two page essay you wrote (last minute) for literature

~you're waiting by the printer, wearing sweats, a hoodie, and teddy bear slippers, literally nodding off as you wait for this old printer to crank out those pages

~after a few seconds it starts humming loudly and you perk up, ready to snatch those pages and trudge back to your dorm so you can go the heck to sleep

~the printer spits out two pages and you go to grab them but ,...more pages keep coming out... and more and more and more and you're standing there in front of the printer like ????? what is going on????

~you dont see anyone else in the library and most of the computers are visible from where you're standing so you're thoroughly confused

~you wait for a bit longer as the printer finishes up and for a second you hesitate to grab papers that obviously arent yours but... maybe yours are in there? so you grab the stack and look at the name

~your heart skips a beat when you read the name on the paper.... "jungwoo?" you read aloud

~and you jump in surprise when you hear a small "hi" from behind you

~feeling your cheeks heat up, you sheepishly turn to face him, embarrassed to be seeing The Kim Jungwoo, the sweetheart angel boy who you havent seen in so long, while wearing sweats and a hoodie and slippers

~but it's okay cause sweetheart angel boy is also wearing sweats, a hoodie, and slippers..... and wow does jungwoo look exhausted :~( your embarrassment wanes as you get a good look at his softly smiling face

~he has exaggerated dark circles under his eyes and his skin isnt as clear as you remember it being last year, his hair looks like he's been running his hands through it all day, and his smile is a little bit less bright than it used to be

~but he still looks ethereal... his hoodie framing his wide shoulders so cutely, strands of his soft black hair falling haphazardly over his forehead and his pretty mouth forming that warm smile of his, framing his cute teeth and Oh My God your little crush on him has not gone away at all

~"jungwoo... how,, have you been?" you manage, heat rising to your cheeks again

~"ive been alright... sort of overwhelmed this semester!" he laughs softly and glances down at his feet, then looks back up at you, "but im okay. how are you?" he looks you in the eyes and smiles again and your stomach does a lil flip

~"im pretty good! i dont like my lab partner this year near as much as last year, though"

~it's quiet for a moment after u say that and u realize what u just said and u feel ur face burning up now because whY thE Heck did u just blurt that out oh no hes gonna be creeped out oh no

~but his smile widens and his entire face softens and he lets out a genuine little laugh

~"yeah, me neither. i... miss you" he says, hesitating a little and looking down at his feet again

~your heart warms up and ur stomach does that lil flip again and you smile and for a few seconds it's quiet and you finally say "me too." and then it's quiet again

~then u remember that you're still holding jungwoo's enormous stack of papers in your hands so you shuffle over to him and hand them over and he takes them, apologizing for making you hold them for so long and you laugh and tell him he didnt make you carry them

~and u stand in front of each other for another few seconds, awkwardly wondering whether to continue talking or to move along

~finally, jungwoo says he has to get going and that it was nice to see you and he flashes you a tired smile before making his way out of the library, laden with a huge bookbag and a textbook in his arms as well as all of his papers

~you watch him go, feeling a little bit sad that nothing more became of ur lil run in with jungwoo

~u print our ur essay and make ur way back to ur dorm, ur heart and eyelids both feeling a bit heavier than when you went to the library, despite having seen sweetheart angel boy again after so long

~the next morning you get breakfast with ur roommate and the head to literature and turn in your essay, trying not to think about jungwoo cause u dont want to fall back into that crush especially since u wont be seeing him again,,,

~u do a pretty good job of circumventing any lingering thoughts of (sweetheart angel boy) jungwoo from the night before

~that is, until 11:48 AM

~when you get a text

from: jungwoo 🐻

good morning!! I'm sorry I wasn't able to talk longer last night. are you busy sometime after 5 today? I'd love to catch up 😊

~u, in the cafeteria, mouth hanging open: Yes

~n then you realize that u probably should send that as a text ,,, so you quickly respond yes!!! i would love to!!! im free at 6

~and u put ur phone down and start eating but like ,, a minute later ur phone vibrates again

from: jungwoo 🐻

Yay!!! 😆 Let's get smoothies again! 🥤see you there at 6!

~u send him a confirmation text and then finish ur lunch while ur heart soars because wOw he actually does want to see you!!! wow!!! and this time u wont be wearing slippers!!!

~and u cant deny that u also get excited about the idea that jungwoo will also not be wearing pajamas or slippers ,,, u always liked jungwoo's style,,

~all day after that all u can think about is jungwoo's soft voice last night when he told you he misses you... it was so forward of him and it makes ur heart skip a beat even just thinking back on it... is he always so forward? you wonder

~around 5:50 you start walking to the smoothie place, feeling nervous but much less silly without ur teddy bear slippers

~jungwoo's exact thought at 5:50 while hes sitting at a table in the smoothie place waiting for u: their teddy bear slippers were so cute 😣

~once u arrive he gets up to greet u and u guys awkwardly say hi and stand in front of each other and then get in line to order smoothies

~u two are a little bit clumsy with your conversation at first, speaking at the same time and then laughing and telling the other to go first

~but eventually, once u two are sitting across from each other at a little table and sipping on ur smoothies, u have a steady conversation about school and sophomore year and your friends and new roommates

~the conversation dies down again after a while and u two sip on ur smoothies and u wonder what u could say to continue talking to jungwoo because you're having such a nice time and ur heart is so happy to hear his soft voice again... u hadnt realized how much u missed it until this evening

~but before you can think of anything to say, jungwoo rests his chin in his palms, his elbows propped up on the table and he looks at you, making eye contact and doing that soft smile of his

~u have to take a second to remember how to breathe

~after a moment of gazing at u he sighs

~"im so happy to see you again, i really have missed you" and he smiles, his cheeks getting a bit pink but otherwise not rlly seeming to be embarrassed or shy by what he said and youre a flustered mess !!!!

~u manage to not stutter when u say "me too, jungwoo" and he giggles at your shy expression that you're trying so hard to hide (hes dying inside because youre so freaking cute !!!)

~after u finish ur smoothies, he walks with you back to campus and as you guys are on your way back, you're stopped by doyoung who comes up to you guys with his mouth open wide and his eyebrows raised

~"jungwoo... i just went to the library to look for you and you weren't there so i went to the cafe and you weren't there either and it didnt even occur to me that you werent actually studying... are you... are you two-"

~jungwoo cuts him off with a little shake of his head and explains that u guys were lab partners and friends last year and were just catching up and hes on his way to the library now

~you're kinda confused by the whole exchange bc from what doyoung said, it seems like jungwoo is pretty much always studying and it's odd for him to have gone out and done something other than study in the evening

~and while that thought makes u feel bad for him, u also feel pleased that he chose to spend time with you instead of studying :'~)

~doyoung leaves after a few minutes of him n jungwoo laughing abt something that their friend taeil did earlier that day

~doyoung and jungwoo hug and hold each other's hands until their fingertips are touching, then let their hands fall to their sides again as they say goodnight to each other and you're watching and smiling fondly cause jungwoo is so loving to his friend and it makes your heart swell

~jungwoo turns to u and smiles sheepishly, letting out a little laugh and apologizing for making you wait on him

~you shake your head and tell him you're happy to have met his friend!!

~and his eyes light up and his face brightens into a beaming smile and he tells you that he's so happy that you met doyoung, too

~he walks you back to your dorm building and u two say goodbye and u start to go up the steps when jungwoo calls for you again

~you turn around to see him at the bottom of the steps, smiling up at u and looking a little bit shy but So Handsome (ur heart? mush)

~u walk back down the steps to see him and you're standing on the step in front of him so you're pretty much the same height now and his face is kinda close to urs and both of u have an entire butterfly garden break dancing to dubstep in ur tummies tbh

~"yes?" you ask him, smiling and trying to hide ur nervousness because of the proximity

~"i just wanted to say that i had a lovely time tonight and i want to see you again soon"

~omg sweetheart angel boy makes your heart do acrobatics with his soft sunrise voice and his pretty dark brown eyes looking into your own and the cute shape of his cheeks as he smiles at you

~"let's get dinner this friday?" he continues, his eyes widening a little bit in a hopeful way, his smile widening too

~and you cant help but smile so big, u have to look down at your feet for a second just to regain any semblance of composure u might have had before

~after a second you look up and nod and hold your pinkie out to him

~"pinkie promise" you tell him, and he smiles Even Wider and links his pinkie with yours and touches his thumb to your own and you two stand there like that for a little bit longer than necessary

~finally u both let go and say goodbye for real this time and u walk up the steps to your dorm but u feel like you're floating cause woW sweetheart angel boy kim jungwoo is going to take you out for dinner in three days... friday is in three days...

~both u and jungwoo spend the entire three days in anticipation and almost middle-school-like-giddness because !!!! this is kind of a date right???? like neither of u said it but it's kind of a date????

~doyoung certainly says so and he's been telling all of his and jungwoo's mutual friends

~doyoung: yukhei, guess what? jungwoo has a cute date this friday

~yukhei, in the library, at a table with jungwoo and doyoung: ooooHOhOhoHHOHOHO jungwoo has a DATE!!! get it!!!!!!!!!

~jungwoo, probably: im leaving

~when thursday night rolls around, you're sitting on your bed, typing something up on your laptop and probably watching youtube tbh and your phone dings :^)

from: jungwoo 🐻

I'm excited to see you tomorrow. I'll meet you at the bottom of your stairs at 7 tomorrow night, is that okay?

~you probably forget to respond for like 15 minutes cause u take a screenshot of the text and send it to ur best friend and yell about how nervous and excited you are and when u finally respond, you tell him you're looking forward to it! and you ask him what you should wear

~a few minutes later, you get a response...

[miahqs-blog]

mm can i jst start by sayin how stoked a bitch is ??? k so whats good yes people it is me.. bombay + she/her, 18, pst, 70% misc fruit juice and 30% headass,, straight coloring my hair as i type this rn and the timer just went off so i gotta make this short but u can read about my lil sag princess mia below!! i usually dont plot w people until the second week but thats just bc i like to feel out chemistry before i decide on a connection bUT if u guys think of anything specific/have a wanted connection that u feel mia would fit well in definitely dont hesitate to lmk :’-) or idk even if u dont wanna plot u can always message me i have no friends lol!!! but if not u will definitely be hearin from me about plotting around the 30th or so,,,  luv y’all,, definitely gonna reply to some starters as soon as i rinse this shit out my head  

♥ mia’s dom qualities source from the flaws in her upbringing. being of old money, she was sheltered and set free in all the wrong places. the common mindset of wealth, that prosperity is one’s divine right, fueled her disregard to detail and blatant ungratefulness in the face of grandiosity. overstimulated and easily bored, mia has yet to come to the realization that the consequences of her actions (negative or positive) were never luck; they were luxuries; and that there is a clear difference between the two. on an similar note, this blissful ignorance has truly blessed mia with a creative freedom that allows her to see no fixed destinations in life, ergo no obstacles. through rose tinted lashes, she sees life like a good novel or a video game, where second chances are limitless (not that she’d ever need one) and finales are never the end.

♥ her origins bio is a work in progress but elaine was a racecar groupie during her schoolgirl days and would pursue whoever headed the competition each season so she would make connections from there for the most part??? ancient or nouveau rich, elaine knew how to work crowds bc 1. she was raised on $$$ and 2. charm schools instilled a v specific skillset that meshed well with her already coquettish personality?? but mostly everything she did had pointless ends bc none of it was for gain or esteem,, she already had plenty of that being who she was but it was a priority to know where the next big party/rumble/freakout would b and that info remained with the big dogs… bc without somewhere to target her restlessness she would get bored and elaine HATES being bored,, none of it mattered to her, predictability simply made her sick and i think thats ultimately what drew her to adriana and vice versa??? they met at this one function, and adriana had been ‘observing’ her & noted that elaine’s skills would fit very well in her line of business and in exchange she would get what she wouldn’t be able to find anywhere else: unpredictability.. it was a fair trade to her

♥  Ok speaking of skills hot damn can my girl FINESSE !!!! like thats her central,, talent?? sweet talking bouncers and cops are elementary, sis will make connex with half the guest list of an event she wasnt invited to in the first place, pick pocket ALL their cash and drugs, snatch the address of the next party and then dip tf out lmao.. her shiftiness is 50% of what makes her such an artful escort, the other half being her ability to adapt to her environment via new personality/identity (see also: the fact that she uses a fake name)

♥ honestly if you knew elaine’s family (who i will flesh out alongside her character,) you would understand why she uses an alias. BUT!! IT ALL HAS!! MEANING!!! mia was the name of her first/only cat, who she had to give away a few years later because her newborn sister ended up being allergic. and ‘henley’ is the last name of the writer of one of her favorite poems, invictus :-) yes ok thats the one with the famous:

beyond this place of wrath and tears looms but the horror of the shade, and yet the menace of the years finds, and shall find, me unafraid. it matters not how strait the gate, how charged with punishments the scroll, i am the master of my fate: i am the captain of my soul.

bbgirl lives by those lines, and always has. and she really misses her cat lmao

♥  #spoilt and doesn’t know it,,, but def tries to stray from the snobby rich girl archetype as well?? you wont catch her being all condescending and knockin the way another cat swings so if ur that type of person you two WONT vibe forsure… she prioritizes open mindedness (mostly bc its the exact opposite of how her parents/most of her childhood peers and mentors are n she was always the one that NEEEDED to swim against the current, it gave her a rise idk) and is 10000% ok with being vulnerable ?? like she sees no shame in it because she always felt ‘safe’ to express herself growing up bc she could afford to lmao, unlike a lot of people in the gang who are definitely more detached and dark in substance than she is?? she’ll definitely be one of those people in the whole dynamic who overshares and invades other ppls comfort zones… is probably considered the annoying one….u know wassup… But she’s sweet,, sweet as sugar and cares a LOT and loves TOO MUCH and loves IT !! yes.

♥  like i said i dont consider mia very ‘dark’ but there’s definitely some depth to her chara?? u know,, being a rebellious spirit born into a limitless world can be VERY conflicting ok? cause then u need to establish a machine to rage against. which is what mia does. she seeks out situations/people/experiences that present the most limitations and caution signs bc she loves acting without permission but that would entail the existence of something to ask permission for. so being a part of an illegal throng is forsure giving the bitch her kicks for now… but adriana’s strict rules and schedules remind her of school, and.. well.. she’s forsure on dish duty a lot lmao… my bbs poor manicure..

♥  from a more negative viewpoint, mia takes her life experience for granted in every direction,,, where she lacks life, she creates fallacies and where she knows plenty she drives herself dumb and that never really occurred to her until the bust. how little she took seriously. her job description comes very naturally to her, she prides herself in being a distraction; showing up high on the job was pretty routine to her at this point. but that night, she definitely got too loaded, and lost sight of her objective. or at least that’s how she felt when twenty people she had spent the most exciting fragments of her life with, ceased to exist :”-// over the past few weeks the betrayal hasn’t irked her more than the reality of the situation she got herself into… she had never given true thought to mortality and how at this moment, even she was decomposing. it scares her. u know mia’s just been trying to stay in her own space this whole time without her brain blowing up and i think that at this point she’s been spending lots of time in her room, definitely more quiet as of late. how she’s going to act from this place in the main trajectory of the plot rlly depends on the rp chemistry u feel me?? but yea thats my girl so far !!!

[survivor-kuwait]

Episode 10 - “I wanna merge” - Thomas

alright just a recap of the round since i was at work all day! i was suuuuper excited that despite being in the warzone i was there with owen and matt my main boiz. also now people don't need to go bitching that i haven't been there yet anymore xoxo bite me cullan u bitch. apparently right when we got to the warzone tommy threw out adrian's name to trace bc he's still pressed about him calling him inactive during the round that nehe left which i mean eyeroll but ok. so as soon as i heard this i told matt, which probably was a mistake on my part but oh well. at that point i still was wanting to go through with what matt had wanted which was an alliance with us, adrian, and maynor. matt tells me last night though that adrian apparently initially brought up wanting to vote myself or owen due to challenge prowess, and i'm assuming the fact that we're winners as well. again, eyeroll. i brush it off and am like well let's sleep on it and see where we're at in the morning. so i tell owen all of this as well and make him promise me not to leak bc this could've potentially been a big round for us depending on what we wanted to do. he agreed with me that adrian even suggesting our names in passing wasn't a cute look and i didn't really wanna stand for that. we talked about it in pms and then again in the paradise hotel chat and it was odd bc then traces' information and actions were always seemingly right behind us. i'm fairly certain matt was leaking all of it to him but ok. i mean i hope he wasn't, but we'll see. trace and adrian got close real fast if they weren't already so that was kind of another point that i was trying to drive home with matt. good ol' matt kept mentioning yk that me and owen are his main people and that he doesn't care if adrian goes and at that point it just felt like ok well put your money where your mouth is. so we push for that and come to the conclusion that we really just need us, tommy and chloe obvs bc she's not gonna vote herself. the group decides to leave trace out of it after i bring up how trace apparently has all of the tea so maybe it wasn't getting leaked to him afterall??? idk shrug. i did let stephen know what was going on a little before tribal, i probably should've confirmed with him earlier but i wasn't sure how much he was willing to trust me with kind of right away like that. everything goes right as planned and adrian leaves 6-2??? happy to be back and out of the warzone, but i miss matt and owen already, but corey is back with me now!!! oh that reminds me apparently matt is wary of both ian and corey so i gotta keep an eye on that moving forwards and plan accordingly. ummmm also trace messaged me and was like hey so what happened?? i decided to tell him that i legit must've misunderstood messages from someone and that he was back to voting adrian. idk i just played dumb so i hope he bought it. he was like yeah as long as it was miscommunication and not me getting fucked over it's cool sdjgksdlg like what am i supposed to say to that.... yes i was trying to fuck u over u right.... got me!! 

Genuinely surprised Chloe survived after being a target for so long, makes me suspicious there might be another alliance out there, because most people told me Adrian, they might not trust me yet, hopefully voting with them helped me there.

If I’m being truly honest. This challenge is so weird that i dont think imma be able to like do iy. Might be a warzone trip for me this round and it sucks because I dont want to go. Like Adrian was someone i could have worked with but he left 6-2 and I hope it wasnt Matt who voted Cloe.

---

I got the first one in 6 clicks. I hope im able to get the rest pretty quickly but i dont know if i move from kuwait or i start from survivor again.

Part 1. I have emotional motion sickness. Somebody pls roll the windows down. I'm scared to lose Matt or Owen at this tribal. I don't see it happening but it still worries me. Ideally, Thomas leaves. Kait or Stephen leaving aren't the worst case scenarios either. Realistically, I predict Trace or Stephen. Trace.... pls survive. I'll send this confessional in two parts. Will be writing the second part later tonight. Part 2. Well. Adrian left. this is bad for my game. Is it worst case scenario? no. But Trace didn't vote him out; Matt did. Matt betrayed Adrian and Kait basically told me so. I cannot trust Matt as much as I thought I could; but maybe his allegiance is to Owen primarily as Matt sold Adrian out bc Adrian wanted to target Kait/Owen. It's hectic but Adrian was a number for my game, personally. I'll do my espionnage and try to keep tabs on what everyone is thinking. Oh, and attempt to win immunity again!

Well, last night's war zone did NOT go as I expected. I really thought that everyone was on board to vote Chloe, but I was clearly mistaken. The tribal left me a little confused, and genuinely nervous about what my fate would be if I were to return to the war zone in the near future. There are a few things that I did learn from this war zone, however. I really think that matt is kind of calling the shots over there. He seemed to be the sneakiest one, and was the one lie that kind of hurt the most. Kait claims that she thought I knew the vote was Adrian, and that is was a mistake on her part. I don't fucking buy it. Kait is clearly close with Thomas (she literally calls him Tommy), but decided that they couldn't trust me enough to tell me in the end the vote wasn't chloe. I did not appreciate that. I hate being in war zones where people who are inactive get to stay because somehow, someone figured out how to goat them to the end. I am going to do my best to stay out of the war zone this round, but this challenge is confusing so I have no idea if I even have a chance.

Im really nervous for this immunity. I hope i had a quick clicks. If not I hope im with people i can work with and not be voted out. Im anticipating a merge soon but how it works idk.

http://prntscr.com/nu7q5f what kind of false scorpio antics.......... 

Me? Safe again? Hskshdjd who woulda THOUGHT!!! I’m glad madison is finally safe I feel like the more she goes the more time she has to make connections lmao. I know she rlly wanted to be safe this time for some reason but part of me thought she had been throwing tbh so she could actually play the game which isn’t a bad strategy. I feel really bad for matt going again :( but I think he will be okay. Here’s hoping they send Stephen out please and ty!!!! In other news I still think I’ve never talked to Ian or corey which is funny af because corey could be my number one in this game. I feel like he will be loyal to me once we make it together.... I rlly just hope him and Kait don’t clash, but I’m scared af because Matt was sus about corey getting renee out and I haven’t gotten to tell corey that yet. Hopefully when the time comes I can get corey and Kait to work together and the three of us can go to the end somehow. I’m not gonna turn on Kait. I can’t turn on corey. It’s gonna be messed up if they ever start to target each other bc Kait doesn’t know I’m close with him but he knows I’m close with her nnnn

Kait thinks I'm targeting pairs, huh? Well, yes but actually no. I'm targeting pairs in the since that members of those pairs are people I don't think would work with me, I'm not targeting them for being pairs. I've got a pair in Leo I want to work with, also MY SIGN PARTNER IS STILL IN THE GAME, albeit barely. It has become abuntly clear to me that Matt does not have over lapping interests with me in this game. The man is out there spreading propaganda against me to Kait and Owen, who has never met me might I add so he sees me exactly as I see him. A threat. Kait, I thought you were warming up to me, but please keep thinking Corey is who you should confide in, he's totally not closer to me or anything.

This Warzone is really stressing me out. I don’t think I have the same allies I’m usually confident with. There’s Devon and Trace and Maynor and Chloe but I only can trust them so much because none of them are working together. I’m hoping to get out timmy or Stephen who I don’t know and don’t trust but I also know that my name certainly could be coming up soon enough because with each tribal I survive I become a bigger and bigger threat. I’m ready for some idol shenanigans if need be but I’d love to save that shit for down the road.

The names being thrown out right now are Cloe, Timmy, and Stephen. I much rather have Timmy stay because we are actually working together in this game rather than against. Stephen even tho we dont talk much there is still that connection through his game he hosted and one we played together. Getting majority on Cloe will be great because she wont get dragged to the f3 and take a spot that could be mine.

This warzone feels different. It’s an odd group and a lot of people who haven’t been together. So it’s somewhat quiet but also contentious since anything could happen at this point. Not sure how tonight will play our, should be fun....

So the vote seems to be Chloe, yet she always gets votes and it’s never her so naturally I’m weary. I think this will be the time though, especially with who is at this tribal. Trace was saying Devon had said Stephen, which I don’t want him going because he would be a good number for me. Trace also said that Matt said my name but I think he’s now on the Chloe train...I’m hoping. Either way I doubt he would have majority. I’m hoping I stay because it’s about to be merge and I think I’ve been doing well so far. I’m proud of how social I have been with people, it’s not the best, but it’s a lot better than I usually am.

It looks like the vote is locked on Cloe but still very awkwardly quiet. I hope nothing crazy goes down. *knocks on wood*

Don’t mind me just dying and having no idea what’s going on at all hahaha probs gonna be voted out next xoxox 

This better be the last Warzone, I wanna merge.

So, with little debate, I think we settled on voting Chloe. Originally, Devon and Matt wanted to vote Stephen, but I had to convince them onto Chloe because I want to make sure we have more people on our tribe than theirs so that I have a chance of winning immunity. Matt told me he heard Timmy's name which is weird. I think he was just trying to scare me. I told Timmy about it, and Timmy was upset, but I really don't think it went anywhere. Chloe came to me and told me that she would vote anyone as long as it wasn't her. I really don't trust Matt even though he keeps telling me that I can trust him, so idk. Maybe I'll flip the script at the last minute and try to get everyone Matt at the last minute, but we shall have to see if that's smart for me... idk

[leaughrilke]

(wriggles eyebrows) superbabies at hogwarts

BRUH

so kara’s a muggle born hufflepuff and lena’s a pure blood slytherin (who like......easily could have gone to ravenclaw if she wasnt so terrified of what lillian would say or do if she didn’t end up in the luthor’s typical house) and they’re p sure the kiddos are going to have magic (like 90% on finn and maia??  stella’s a lil more murky bc they’re p sure that her birth mom was a witch but its not as if they’ve got like.......Offical Records on her or anything)

so finn and maia show magic p early??  from like toddlers tbh so they’re expecting their letters and then stella’s like nine and hasn’t shown any inclination to magic and she’s starting to ask when she’ll get her letter, if she can get a cat for a pet instead of an owl like finn and maia did and like??  they’ll obviously love her exactly as they always have but like they’re like lowkey worried she’ll be destroyed if she doesn’t get a letter

so they’re gearing up to sit down with her and talk to her about the possibility of her maybe not having magic and then one day she sneezes and sets the curtains on fire

so

finn!!!  is the first, the oldest, and he like straight up cries when his letter comes bc he’s so excited??  but he’s also dreading being away from his moms, being away from his sisters, but kara wraps him up in a big hug and tells him all about how scared and sad she was when she got her letter, how much she desperately didnt want to go but she went and it was amazing and he’s going to have a wonderful time, she knows it.  

the whole family goes to diagon alley and like the kiddos have been before, kara and lena take them p regularly for ice cream or for birthdays or hell just for funsies but now it’s Big and Important

his wand is alder, unyielding, with unicorn hair as the core.  twelve inches even and like.......when he matches with it he literally makes flowers grow in every nook and cranny of ollivanders and stella’s literally six but she’s so entirely entranced, so finn just sort of thinks flowers and then she’s got a little bloom behind her ear, braided into her hair and she’s grinning and maybe she finally stops crying at the thought of her big brother going off to school for the year

meanwhile maia’s pretending like she’s not at all upset about this, bc she’s excited for finn??  she is!!!  but he’s her best friend and she’s not ready to lose him for nine months out of the year, but by the time they make it to the owl shop, she’s grinning and talking about what type of owl she thinks finn ought to get, what type of owl she’ll get bc she’s not pleased with finn’s final choice (a small, sleek little barn owl that he stares at and finally decides to name spock bc he’s a nerd just like lena tbh)

so he goes!!!!!  and he is a hufflepuff!!!!!  a giant soft sweet hufflepuff!!!!!!!  kara sends him her old scarf from when she was in school when he gets sorted, sends a rlly embarrassing howler that’s basically her and lena just crying and saying they’re so proud of him, they love him so much, call home as soon as you can and tell us everything! and he’s blushing a little bit but his house is full of kids with similar howlers and they’re all blushing a little, all making bashful eye contact with one another

and jesus does he belong in hufflepuff like.  he is so happy, like he’s homesick for the first few weeks??  but it helps that lena does guest lectures for muggle studies on how magic and muggle technology can be combined, helps that he can see one of his moms every few weeks or so, helps that he has a smartphone bc this is the 21st century and he’s able to facetime his family a lot.  but once the homesickness passes, once he falls into the rhythm of hogwarts, he just begins to belong u know??  like he makes friends across the board, in every house, in every year, often volunteers down in the infirmary when there’s need

jesus he writes his sisters so many letters bc they’re still young enough that getting mail is like A Thing.  like??  he asks his moms for a camera, just so he can send maia a picture of the giant squid in the lake bc she’s so fascinated by it, just so he can send stella a series of photos of the quidditch matches his new friends bring him out to bc she watches the matches on tv and is so entranced

so his first year is so awesome and quite frankly so is his second year and then!!!!!!  it’s his third year and maia’s coming and he legit cannot wait, like he knows all the secret passages and shortcuts and which house elf (no longer kept, but actually employed by the school !!!  bc mcfuck off thats why) is the easiest to persuade for a midnight snack and he cant wait to share that all with maia

so maia!!!!  she gets her letter and she literally screams, scares the fuck out of her moms and siblings but she’s like FUCK YES WHERE’S MY WAND WHERE’S MY GIANT SCREECH OWL SOMEONE GET ME SOME CHOCOLATE FROGS TO CELEBRATE like she’s been counting down the days to hogwarts since finn got his letter

her wand!!!  is dogwood with dragon heartstring, rigid, twelve and a quarter inches and is a bit, well.  it looks like a branch with a handle tbh but its kind of wild??  like a thing of nature and the minute it hits maia’s hand, she’s enthralled and there’s like a hum in the air??  like something’s clicked into place and she’s READY like hand her some SPELLS lets get this MAGIC HAPPENING

and she gets her giant ass screech owl, names it gene simmons bc why not (genie for short, obviously), gets her books and her supplies and asks if they can stop by weasley’s to grab a few things and her moms set her with a look and kara’s like maia you can’t prank any of the professors and lena’s like on that subject, you can’t prank any of your housemates until at least second term and maia’s kind of like fiiiiinnneeee but definitely slips in a few things that are definitely prank-worthy and grins when her moms pointedly look in the other direction as theyre paying

so then she gets to hogwarts and she’s sitting under the sorting hat for a solid ten minutes as it hems and haws between sorting her into gryffindor or ravenclaw and she’s a little sad she’s not even being considered for finn’s house, but she also knows she’d never fit in there, not ever.  and this goes on for a bit bc maia’s wildly smart, and she loves learning but she’s also hard headed and reckless and intensely committed to the idea of justice, fairness, always steps up to a fight, never away.  so FINALLY the sorting hat calls out GRYFFINDOR and then maia’s swept up in the celebration, catches finn’s eye as he gives her the biggest proud big brother smile and a thumbs up (meanwhile he’s secretly facetiming kara and lena so they can see this and what, they’re totally not crying)

and kara, secret old lady that she is, tries to knit maia a gryffindor scarf but its kind of terrible so they also buy her one but (and maia will never admit this) she sleeps with the fucked up one kara made her, tucked up next to her ratty old teddy bear from when she was a baby.  

what??  it makes her feel safe, reminds her of home

so she doesnt have that same adjustment period as finn did??  like she’s not super sad for the first few weeks, its more protracted than that, lasts a little longer but doesnt hit as hard, and it’s a lot of help that finn’s there, pulls her over to eat at his table when she doesnt have friends to eat with the first few days, who invites her round to his common room to eat the sweets their moms have sent them and to catch up on tv on his laptop.  but mostly???  she loves hogwarts.  she LOVES it

she excels at potions, in the same way that finn excels at herbology, great at defense against the dark arts, and shit if she’s not even better dueling, like she gets an actual invitation to join the dueling club on parchment and everything

and like???  she’s on the choir and gets her friends to dare her to explore the forbidden forest and quite frankly she’s having the time of her life

and then little stella!!!!!  she gets her owl and like.  just stares at it for a bit, trying to believe its real and then lena’s coming downstairs and sees stella sitting in front of the big kitchen window and sees what she’s staring at and shes like !!!!!  stella!!!!  cmon sweetheart, lets go get that letter!!!!  and stella’s so???  happy????  like its been weird like she’s basically been an only child in the three years since maia went to hogwarts, been on her own and now she’ll be back with her siblings and she’s so so happy oh my god

she very nearly cries when she finds her wand bc she takes the longest of all the kiddos.  no wand feels right, feels like home and she’s nearly at her wits end with it, just about to say nevermind, take me home and then, well, she finds it.  its pine, supple, fourteen and a half inches long with a dragon heartstring; god, it looks a little ridiculous when ollivander hands it to her, almost like its too long for such a small girl but then she’s holding it, then a hush is falling over the room and then there’s just light, everywhere and it feels right???  feels good, grounded

and she picks out a little black kitten!!!  its the runt of the litter and maia kind of knocks her shoulder and says awwww just like you and their moms fix her with a look but stella’s smiling, nodding, saying that one, i want that one and that’s the end of that

what does she name the cat, you ask?  well

she names it carmilla bc she’s a giant baby lesbian ok, like hell she didnt sneak the novella from lena’s bookshelf and struggle through it only to watch the series and then develop an as of yet unnamed crush on carmilla

so she finally gets to hogwarts, kind of terrified (she cried a lot on the train, only sort of soothed by her siblings refusing to go sit with their friends, instead squishing into the same bench and playing sudoku with her) but finn’s grinning at her from the hufflepuff table and maia’s giving her this steady look like you got this from gryffindor and stella’s like???  ok.  i’ll be happy in either of those houses

but then the sorting hat barely touches her hair before its screaming SLYTHERIN and stella’s like um what. 

this isnt to say any of the kiddos have that assbackwards belief that slytherin = evil bc like??  lena was slytherin and yeah, there’s some shit tied up with that but she did truly have a decent time and aunt alex was slytherin too and she’s good, the greatest, like none of them have grown up with that messed up idea

but at the same time stella’s like um.  i am the softest bitch here.  what the fuck bc while she knows slytherins arent evil, she also knows her mom and aunt alex, knows there’s an edge to slytherins that she can’t hope to ever match???  like ambition??  cunning/??  bitch WHERE

but its done, she’s sorted and she’s kind of in shock and most of slytherin is as well, kind of looking at her and then looking back to her siblings, kind of like???  the fuck????  the danvers kids are like........the Softest.  why do we have this one????  and maia’s the first to holler her name, whoop and clap and stamp her feet and celebrate her baby sister getting sorted and then finn’s joining and then the whole of slytherin is doing the same and stella kind of smiles a little bc when she sits down, the girl next to her gives her this appraising look then sticks out her hand and says i’m ari, we’re friends now before shoving a plate of food at her

and lena’s like???  worried that stella doesnt want to be in slytherin but also incredibly proud and excited???  like shit, ok, all my weird trivia abt the slytherin dorms can finally come in handy and she digs out all her old stuff, packs it up with a weepy howler that’s literally her and kara just crying about how much they love and miss stella and stella literally wears that scarf basically every cold day for the rest of her life tbh

stella feels the homesickness more??  like a Lot more, bc she had a lot more one on one time with kara and lena after maia left, isnt used to not being around them in the slightest and she’s kind of inconsolable for a while after lena’s lectures, but maia sometimes sneaks her into the gryffindor dorms so she doesnt have to feel so alone at night and that helps a lot, helps that she finds some good friends p early on as well

OH SHIT it also helps that stella’s like.  terrifyingly good at transfiguration and charms, and, later, divination and legilimancy (heh u see what i did there).  probably also helps that she’s scary good at most curses and hexes like.........she’ll Fuck U Up.  maia fights with her fists but stella doesnt hesitate to use her wand.  like ppl are a lil tiny bit scared of her but she’s tiny and adorable and v sweet, sweet enough that most ppl get over their fear p quickly

so the kiddos do alright??  finn never joins the quidditch team even though kara played and he’s never quite as fond of flying as stella; in fact, its only stella that joins quidditch for anything longer than one season, as a chaser (stella MAY be a little bit of an adrenaline junkie and MAY have the time of her life dodging bludgers).  maia joins as a beater for one season when gryffindor’s normal beater came down with dragon pox and had to go home to recuperate but she quits at the end of the season bc she hits a bludger that ends up knocking stella off her broom and like.......Fuck That ya know

hmmmmmm what shenanigans do they get up to 

well finn’s like every professors favorite student like he’s there on time and prepared for class every day and god help every professor the day maia comes to hogwarts like they’re all expecting another mild mannered danvers kiddo (like??  even their moms were so well behaved.........that said.  it shouldnt be a surprise bc alex was hell on wheels) but then maia sweeps into her first class, probably trailing glitter or something equally dramatic and like.  professor snapper looks like he wants to die tbh.  like just drop dead

i dont blame him tbh, maia is also hell on wheels, like constantly calling teachers out when they fuck up and starting fights when some punk kid starts saying shit about blood traitors like hey.  fuck u buddy

so then after maia’s torn through, everyone’s a lil cautious with stella but she’s like........a small bunny or something.  a small bunny that could probably murder you with some tricky non-verbal magic but a small bunny nonetheless 

finn’s a prefect and eventually head boy!!!  like he’s so proud of that and his sisters roll their eyes but theyre proud of him too and maybe kara and lena just.........dont shut up about how their son is head boy, their eldest daughter got an o in potions, how their youngest was the first in her class to cast a patronus charm successfully like they’re B R I M M I N G with pride tbh

hmmmm what else what else

finn goes on to be a healer!!  one of the best at st. mungos, the one you’d want caring for you after you’ve been blasted with some curse or the other.  maia first works for the ministry, in their muggle science department, but then decides to train as an auror (like why not, she’s got the grades and the grit for it).  stella bounces around for a bit before eventually opening her own little shop in diagon alley.  it’s a bit of an odds and ends sort of shop, somewhere halfway between an antique shop and a toy store tbh

and maybe she helps out on some of maia’s raids/cases

its not like there’s anyone more qualified to help, she is one of the foremost experts in legilimancy

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

ah yeah i suppose ur right. yeah i think quarentine has had that sort of effect on a lot of people :( sorry to hear abt ur strict parents, hopefully ur friend will be able to come back soon. small outings (even with family) are still good tho, make sure ur taking care of urself toff.

youre totally right! ah yes thats good advice (/gen) ill try and use that when im in a slump ty. any music suggestions?

lol sames. even some of the stuff abt seungmin, innie etc is a little uncomfortable, like theyre grown ass men for sure, but at the same time, theyre still young, still just over being a teenager in the grand scheme of things. (on that note, i do struggle with worrying that im infantalising them, obviously theyre adults but at the same time, theyre still young. i do treat all fictional characters as my children, but i guess its different when its real people. idk. what do you think?) yeah some stans rlly need to take a chill pill, some are rlly walking the wire between 'ah theyre attractive/that look rlly suits them' and making fucking smut fics abt minors, like... they do not see a problem with that?? yeah tbh i feel like unless theyre 18 they shouldnt be put into the spotlight, weve seen what it does to peoples mental health, but modern day kpop industry is a lot like old hollywood with a lot of popular child actors -_- hopefully the big companies will learn but i agree, its unlikely

suuuuure toff haha. ill go searching for them, but idk if ill be able to find the fluff needle in the angst haystack (jkjk) yeah, fair i groan and complain but you do write angst etc rlly well, so if its what ur comfortable with, then pls continue, it is one of your strong suits, well as you write fluff aside

ah okay good! ill continue to send you essays then

THE ALBUM YES. so ive been looking forward to it for literally months, this is actually my first skz album release as a stay (since the last on was 9 months ago) i was sitting there hitting refresh on my spotify the second 6pm kst came around. (speaking of which, how did you do the release? i couldnt decide whether to watch or listen first but i ended up on listening cos there would be more material) okay: so cheese was super cool, very skz ya know? tho i almost wish theyd made domino the title track, tho obv it was a more experimental track and would have been a bit controversial (much like whistle for bp) i looooved domino and thunderous was absolutely impeccable. all the songs were amazing but standouts were- secrets, secrets which lowkey made me tear up idk why, red lights which almost killed me (it did not have to go that hard, but it did) and OT8 WOLFGANG omgggg i wasnt sure if hyunjin was going to be included in it but i was hoping and, ya know people had said hed be in there, but the further i got in, the less i was sure and then BAM hyunjin started what had been jisung's part and i just sat there grinning for about 5 minutes. surfin was absolutely adorable and gone away almost made me cry AGAIN. star lost was so touching, almost a nod to hyunjins little star? silent cry was relatable beyond anything. SSICK was funny? for some reason I was laughing while it was playing, idk the combination of added cheering and minhos aggressiveness and the totall seriousness they sung it. but i rlly enjoyed it. sorry i love you showcased their vocals like nothing else. the view is THE BOP of 2021, absolutely going to be stuck in my head for the next decade, that hook is genius. what did you think?

also did you watch their grow up performance? with all the stays and ALL THE TEARS? ;n; i feel like this is the end of an era of skz and tbh im kinda happy but also sad. super excited for their promotions but super bummed they wont get to tour. ah well

<3 w.a. 🐺

answer under the cut bc i gave an equally long answer to this already long ask HAJSH

oh yeah, abt quarantine having an effect. my friend and i talked about this earlier actually. i didn't realize the world was moving so fast until the pandemic happened. being in quarantine gave me time to think and i got to know myself more. it's just the sole good thing i got out of the isolation lmao. and abt my strict parents, ironically i got to go out today so i got to hang out with a few of my bestfriends. i had fun but my legs are a bit sore from walking. but they're a different set of friends. i'll get to hang out with the others when my getaway driver comes home in december.

hmm music recommendations for writing? depends on the plot you're writing. care to share what story you're working on and i'll try to rake my brain for a song that might match the vibe. i listen to classical / lo-fi if i don't have song inspo for a fic because lyrics sometimes distract me.

i don't think that's infantilizing tho. for me, it has something to do with my environment and the way i was raised. maybe it's the same the other way around? like this certain age (for the ones above 18 but below 20) is thirst-able for them. idk really. it's just not for me ?n? what i do NOT condone is writing smut for minors??? like get checked : D // i agree with everything with the idols being 18+ before they debut simply because it's for the best for their well-being like. how can young idols decide that this shit is the thing they want to do for life? or at least until their contracts last. idk :// it's unfortunate that it's unlikely to happen.

WELL. i have a list so you won't have to go search for them! in class (minho), in the rain (seungmin), gladius maximus (chan) and you've read five star already. and i just realized that most, if not all, of my upcoming fics are fluffs and i'm fond of all of them :D i used to focus a lot on angst because fluff disgusted the living shit out of me. i think things changed when i wrote champagne problems and hurt myself so bad i wanted to drop angst entirely. i didn't, of course, but i allowed myself to be self-indulgent now.

for the release of the album, i was on twt and watched the vid at 12 views (if i remember correctly, i watched back door at 14 so HASJH) i’m gonna talk by track so it wont be too confusing? bc i wrote this in paragraph format and it just ???? beware im very picky with tracks even if they’re my ults. so no offense if we have opposing opinions and i’m not fond of reading lyrics so these are all music wise.

cheese - oh god i hated cheese at first listen but it grew on me easily. i was singing the yeahyeahyeahyeah bit all day today :D

thunderous - i cant say that it’s my favorite title track. it felt really dry sometimes, both mv and music wise. but at the same time, it’s not that bad. the choreography carried the song tho o.O it’s so fucking cool. but like go live, another track has my heart and it’s

domino - AND YES I AGREE THAT THEY SHOULDVE MADE DOMINO TITLE TRACK UGHHHHH WHAT A WASTED FUCKING OPPORTUNITY. WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS HOW FOND I AM OF THIS SONG. it stands close to the level i love easy.

ssick - was a skip on first listen too because i found the chorus underwhelming but it grew on me? not that much but i can bear listening to it.

the view - it’s something the gen public like, hence its something i dislike. im not fond of songs that are structured like this? it’s not a bad song, just not the type of song i like. but i agree that the hook is very not catchy but it would get stuck in ur head.

sorry, i love you - it’s not as sad as i expected but i actually like it??? i can’t wait to write a fic out of it (1) HAJSHAJ it’s like a 3/5 for me. it’s angsty but chill?

silent cry - i’m pissed at this song bc it hits but sometimes it doesn’t?@?#!? but it’s starting to grow on me but definitely not my fave track.

secret secret - glad i found a secret secret enthusiast because my irls thought it was a skip?$?#@$? it gives me ikon vibes and i’m a huge fan of ikon’s discog so this was a win for me T_T +

STAR LOST - gives me bigbang song vibes and now im very sad :(( in case u didnt know, i’m a hUGE yg fan and 2ne1/bigbang introduced me to kpop so when i heard this track that gave me yg feels i just <3___<3 and it’s one of my favorite tracks anw moving on,

red lights - I WANT TO SKIP THE FIRST TEN SECONDS OF RED LIGHTS EVERY TIME IT PLAYS LIKE IT MAKES ME FEEL AWKWARD KDSJFSK but fine. i’m adding this to props and mayhem’s playlist LMAO it’s more aggressive than sexc tho. more enemies to lovers o. O

surfin’ - this coming right after red lights just wasn’t the best decision arrangement wise because how did we go from ooh sexc to aigh pARTAY. felix saying sheesh T___T it’s such a fun song i want to go to the beach ;n; do you like beaches?

gone away - i have yet to read the lyrics because i’m using this as inspo for a jeongin fic jskjash it’s not the type of ballad i like but it’s so fucking sad to listen to :’ ) the pitch change caught me off guard? still does. it’ll grow on me prolly.

wolfgang - I YELLED WHEN I HEARD HYUNJIN IN WOLFGANG. i didn’t like this song until recently. it gives me the confidence boost i need to pick myself off self-esteem crashes.

and no i haven't watched that performance and i prolly wont because i’ll cry. i’m excited for the promotions too. do you think they’ll still have a repackage?? i cant fucking believe that i just finished waiting for 12am kst for skz teasers and now i have to look forward to 12am for nct 127??@?#? NOT A SINGLE DAY OF REST FOR THIS STAYZEN