#i rlly like how the aro one came out

[goldtealeaves]

could you.... please draw тhis Freak wiтh тhe aro and bi flags ;?

absolutely :] love this thang

[mariii1]

✨️Your Future Crush/Love Interest & Squish✨️

Yes, all you aro/aces can join in today 😌

1-2

3-4-5

Pac Song Theme:

OMG I'm did a pac during finalss week?! Yes, this is how I deal with stress, I'm also going to be doing another one inspired by a tarot reader on here for as an end of year celebration get readyyy🤗

‼️CW: topics surrounding violence, SA, abuse/trauma came up just as a heads up‼️

🙈🙉🙊🙈🙉🙊🙈🙉🙊🙈🙉🙊🙈🙉🙊🙈🙉🙊🙈🙉

1. Might really like money. They think about their career a lot, and not just in a very workaholic mindset but this is someone that likes capitalism. They might like to one up people or they think they're better than others for pursuing money even if they don't have a lot. A very scummy feeling from this person, would be the type to take you to a michellen star restaurant and then be really angry if you didn't sleep with them afterwards. (s!A vibes for some) 🤢🤮 I feel like they see themselves in this very righteous manner but they're really not okay in the head and I mean that respctfully. They may struggle with chronic mental illnesses but their narcissist habits make it impossible for them to heal themselves. Uhhhhh I don't wish you good luck with this person and I hope you manifest another pile HAHAHA. this person could love to brag about flying/trips theyve been on. It's giving wealthy americans that think just because they traveled overseas they know the country better than the locals and tell racist jokes cuz they think they can 🤦🏾‍♀️

Squish: Literally the mild version of the romance. 😭😭 Again, this person likes money but isn't that obsessed. Again they might take you on trips but this is a really nice person even if they come across as ignorant. They could've been born with a golden spoon in they mouth, its giving stupid but v sweet. I think you'll like this person a lot, although I personally cant fck with this type, I'm strongly feeling your positive emotions. I think they can be a bit petty and immature tho although that's heavily connected to whatever privilege they have, even if its not necessarily financial.

🐶🐶🐶

2. I started sneezing like crazy the moment I started you're reading, for some this a future spouse or a long term commitment for you, whatever that means to you. AGAINnn with the money like are we all in college now wtf, anyway. This person feels stunted financially or just in general with something they value. Mostly career though for you all, maybe they keep getting rejected from jobs they want or they couldn't get a full-time job out of college and had to do more internships etc. It's just like they feel behind career wise or maybe even life wise. You could be ahead of them but I'm getting the two of you struggle together sometimes. This future partner/crush is very close to you rn and some of you know them already and this is your current crush. I think you guys will start off as good friends right away even if you're not (already) best friends. This could be a future squish too for some of you.

Squish: this is your future crush for everyone that's not aro. Even if you are, there's lots of physical intimacy even if its platonic. Lots of hugs and cuddling each other when you're sad. Both of you could be fems/women. They're very precious and I think that's what pulls you in. They have a soft approachable energy and they're funny. I think they can be rlly awkward and its v funny to you 🤭. They could also struggle with social anxiety and you might tease them about it sometimes. Both of you could be in college and stressed about student loans or money again. You could also just both have the same financial situation in terms of your household. Like literally the same family situation too.

🦝🦝🦝

3. This could be a future partner. You could've liked this person in the past, but they hurt you in some way or were mean? They could've been a loner even if they were ok with other people. You could be manifesting this person even if you don't know it. If you don't already know this person, they could be hurtful in some way, even when you two first meet. I keep getting the Empress for these piles, but I think its the first time in all my readings that I've had to interpret it in a negative way, interesting. This could be someone you have cycles with. Yeah they can just be rude unprovoked and I think that will be your first impression of them even if they're attitude isn't directed towards you. I don't think you know why you like this person and I think it's something you want/should figure out. Please be aware this can show up in multiple ways, it doesn't mean theyll call you a slut or curse at you, but it's much more passive aggressive and just rude. Like I don't think this person takes people seriously especially when it comes to others emotions and they like to play the victim when you try to assert boundaries.

Squish: You're going to really like this personnnn. They might heal some trauma you've had in the pass and they might really be againts your future crush. You're going to be friends with this person, for wlmost all of you close friends maybe besties. I think you might struggle alot of abandonment issues and feeling alone or isolated and I think they'll really help with that. This is someone who doesn't settle and is always moving onto the next big thing, even if it's about a partner. Yeah they might introduce you to other people, but you only really like this person. I wouldn't be surprised if some of you developed a crush on them after your future crush 🤭🙈 They also could've been through a lot and may have had the same tastes in people as you do in they past, so you might see them get very like fervent(?), like passionate about trying to educate you about the people you date/hang around even when you never asked for their opinion. I think they feel like you could do better for yourself but you can't see that. LOL you might find this really annoying and although it is, they have a point most of the time. When I say taste in people, this could apply to any relationship; they look at who you attract in terms of friends, or even family and the workplace for some you, and feel like they need to protect you.

🐱🐱🐱

4. So apparently this is my pile, so for y'all who chose another pile and feel like you're getting flamed, don't worry I probably am too 😭. This person again could be a loner or feel lonely. I feel there's something they went through that deeply impacted them negatively but they just don't deal with those emotions and try not to think about. This person may not tell you what it is like ever, or they tell you and play down the situation a lot esp cuz they might feel like it could make other people worry about them. This is someone who's been through a lot, like some really tough stuff for some you; they could've been an addict or had parents/guardians who were, they could have been bullied a lot and like aggressively, they could've been assaulted at school. They just really could of been through physical hell, literally, maybe there's a poimt where they were chronically in pain. This person has definitely visited a hospital more than a few times or its a miracle they're still alive and walking. You could've met this person veryyy briefly in your childhood, idk why but this is giving a manhwa storyline 💀💀 I'm specifically think of Park Hanhoo's Manager. Anywayyy, they came out on top. They really did, I feel they may compare themselves to average human being but they shouldn't bc their on a whole different level. And I feel what makes your pussy/bussyy pop is their strength. Cuz they handle things with so much gracee I tell you. They may feel behind but I think you view them very differently and I think for who they are as a person when you meet them, you're gonna give them their due respect, even if they don't have the best personality in the world. It's up to you whether or not you really want to pursue this person because I'm getting they could also become a mentor or just a friend. This could be someone at your workplace, whether you swutch jobs or they do.

Squish: Similar vibes, but more like they may have been betrayed by friends in the past or had shitty friends. They could be kind of a loner as a result and like to keep their distance but some of you will meet them at a time when their more emotionally available. This is someone that doesn't like to stay in one place, but I feel like they feel stagnant internally. They could be someone who does a lot of kind actions and could be very helpful although they're not necessarily friendly. They're nice in a very genuine and non-cliche way. If you made a mistake at work they'll give it to you straight, but they'll tell you exactly how you can do better in a non-judgmental way and are always willing to help you. They will answer your questions and paradoxically almost, they have no patience for bullshit, but they do have patience for you and people who are just less experienced than them. They could literally be from the streets. Nvm I ain't getting flamed, I love this pile y'all 🥰

🦁🦁🦁

5. This is a go getter for sure, but they can honestly be very impulsive in general. I keep getting distracted while doing this reading, they may or may not have adhd. This is a definite future spouse/long term partner for a lot of yall. They're very whimsical but not stupid. I think this is someone who believes in science but still likes occult stuff just cuz they can. For the majority of you, this isn't a conservative right leaning hippie who believes in antisemitic conspiracy theories. Even if they like tarot, they don't take it seriously or they could really like astrology lore but don't take it seriously all the time. This is a smart person even if they may not seem like at a first glance. Idk what it is about them, but they look kinda stupid depending on what you think that looks like. Like they could look like a frat boy/mommas boy but it's only bc they don't kno how to dress and they're actually really nerdy and support human rights stuff, like they're pro choice, acab, whatever. However I feel like you won't know that much about them even after developing a crush. This may be someone that you get to know over a lengthy period of time.

Squish: Again this could be your future partner/crush i described above. This person will take you out a lot, like just to hang out they'll want to go to a new cafe or want to see a new place that's opening up. I'm getting they don't necessarily like traveling long distance or flying tho. Y'all could live in an area that has a lot of things to do, there's always something new. They aren't rich but they still know how to have fun without spending a lot of money. Its really giving teen afterschool fun vibes, you guys might hang out at a mutual friends place a lot together. And that may be how you first meet. Again this person isn't super open but they are still a bit friendly and I don't think they mind getting to know you particular. I have a feeling they don't care if they don't have friends at all, they seem to be very content by themselves and know how to have fun. They may be what I like to call a quiet extrovert.

[caramelmochacrow]

hiiii im back at it again w my d4dj headcanons, yeahhh. you know the drill. :)

(cut cause dude this is genuinely long)

yuka has a low immune system, but high stamina. vise versa for esora. yuka holds someone's hand that's sick and she gets the illness for a whole week and she cannot leave her bed. esora's fine tho bc she had to hold a few animals and stuff (also bc her parents didnt want her to be sickly and have a low immune system as a kid)

noa is terrible when it comes to jokes that involve an incorrect fact. especially when it comes to her interests. someone will say something like: "you sing so bad, crows look like song birds" or something and noa's like "but crows are song birds. theyre in the passerifo--" and then the person's like "i was joking noa jeez" especially when she was a kid.

people know this buuuut idc im saying it again. tsubaki is cousins w toya from prosekai. they were rlly tight when they were younger but then tsubaki's father had to move them away for his job. toya got sad abt it bc his cousin was the only person he had before tsukasa and saki appeared in his life. yay. he reconnected w her after he met vbs and they visit each other regularly now :) (usually tsubaki tho bc of toya's situation from what i understand but yea)

saki is hard of hearing bc of her synesthesia. (idk how her synesthesia works and sometimes the series likes making shit up so.... myeah) her brain fills in words sometimes from context clues and she usually guesses right. sometimes she doesn't, of course. she struggles w being almost mute at first when it came to speaking because of it.

towa's younger brother plays baseball and treats baseball players similar to how his sister treats idols. he's a little weirded out by noa but he's ok w her now. he's alright w ibuki, but wishes she wasnt so harsh on his sister and he thinks saki's kinda cool bc wow!! dj!

abyssmare speak full english when theyre by themselves, which unnerves some of the students at yoba at first, but now theyre fine w it.

marika's older sister was a clean freak, that's why marika struggles w cleaning. rip.

also marika had a six-month relationship w rei's older sister till they broke up because of Reasons (if you read her relations event w towa you know) :3 rika's the only one in m4 that knows this relationship yea

aoi started growing out her hair after the my prince event to at least be worn w a small ponytail :3 everyone in rondo loves it, nagisa likes pulling on it sometimes. tsubaki thinks it's super cute (she doesnt tell aoi) and hiiro likes giving aoi little ribbons so she can tie it up w it.

haruna's related to riko from love live. in what way? dont know. you decide~

ibuki is aro (questioning if she's ace but not sure) and saki is ace, but simply doesnt think of ibuki in that way. aroace solidarity i suppose.

[erosjournal]

hi i have an idea and if yall wanna hear pls do.

so, me and my friend were talking and talked abt what could've made the heros of olympus series better. mind you, we r now high schoolers, we first read the series in middle school, like 6th grade. also, they are aro/ace (ish, still questioning) and i like to write + i love valgrace.

(BTW IM DOING THE KEEP READING THING BC ITS LONG AND ID FEEL BAD IF U HAD TO READ ALL THAT WITHOUT IT)

so one of the things we decided would've made it more interesting was if piper and jason never ended up together, like at all. ik im a hardcore valgrace shipper, but my friend isn't and we agreed mutually that this didn't make much sense. their whole relationship was built on false memories and one quest, piper pining over him the whole time. we think that also would've enhanced pipers destiny as an aphrodite kid. an aphrodite kid who never dated in the most "important" part of her life, the main part we follow. an aphrodite kid who couldn't get the boy she'd loved. if she'd never dated, it could've really brought out more of the "aphrodite" part of her identity. i'm bad at explaining, but trust. it makes sense in my head. plus, it could show how she's this aphrodite kid who actually is a lesbian yall. which could've been a rlly interesting aspect, maybe some comphet.

one more thing is that whenever jason talks about piper, as his girlfriend, he comments on her physical aspects. as her platonic friend, he comments on her mind. idk if that makes sense, but when reading it, it felt more like how he'd compliment leo, or frank, or someone who was "just a friend".

plus, it feels weird that all of their friends are dating, maybe it could've caused peer pressure? like how leo felt, always being "7th wheel" (idk i came up with that on the spot)

the next thing was if leo and calypso never fell in love. as said before, im a valgrace shipper and they aren't, but we both thought this was an awkward and toxic relationship. the reason why, i'll get into later, but first i wanna talk about why it could've been better in the series.

we think that it could've been more impactful for calypso's side of the story. yes, i know calypso wasn't a great person in mythology, but we have to think of this from both characters perspectives. this is how my friend put it:

it could've been more impactful for calypso since it would've had an ending that was going against the god's curse of her falling in love with everyone on the island, but they couldn't leave. it would've been more interesting of the one person who did save her, was someone she wasn't in love with. the one person she didn't fall for was the person who actually came back for her.

that would've really made things more interesting for her story.

for leo's side, a (not important, but very hugely stated) part of his character is falling for people as a coping mechanism. idk the quote, but sometime in TLH, he talks about how he falls for people who are impossibly out of his league. ok, maybe this doesn't count as a coping mechanism, but it seems to be. sort of like attachment issues, always on the run since the people who did care about him died/left.

i think that it seems wrong (for rick to write, they could never make me hate you leo... with exceptions) for leo to fall for a girl who was "destined" to fall for him anyways. my poor boy. he'd gone through so much yall :(

and to the point of how caleo is sort of toxic, i haven't read much of toa, but i do find that they both cross boundaries.

for example, calling each other names they don't like. i find it VERY disrespectful for leo to call calypso "mamacita". i don't like her, but all girls deserve respect. she also states how she's told him not to call her that, and by the way he reacts, he knows.

similarly to calypso calling leo "leonidas". i don't have much information on this, but i'll link a tumblr post i read on this.

tumblr post on calypso being her own person (extra, not related to before but some other thing to read)

tumblr post on the name thing (read the whole thing, and check out some of the other reblogs, some are interesting, some are just like "f calypso", so just be careful)

one thing, i think i don't like calypso much, but i will not hate her till 1. i've done more research and 2. have more evidence why. i feel it unfair, and i know many people don't like her. i'm also incredibly biased towards leo, so yeah. but, i will give her the chance till i have more information on the subject.

on that note, i don't like caleo. i quite hate it. but for good reason, from what i've talked about. it was just too forced and toxic, and not good overall. maybe it could've been if it was written different, but i hope u understand where i am coming from. ALSO! I AM NOT A HATER BC I LIKE VALGRACE, IF YOU READ ANY OF THIS YOU'D KNOW THAT. im just saying, caleo could've just stayed platonic. just read it all of this + maybe the other blogs before commenting.

MAYBE I'LL WRITE MORE, BU T THX FOR READING

[motifenjoyer]

❤️️❤️️❤️️ :3

i have multiple wips so i'll talk abt All of them

this may get long, so.

icdwd - aka i couldn't dance with death if i tried!! its a zero escape fic mostly exploring a potential (loveless) relationship between akane and mira. its abt a lot of things i realize i never rlly touched upon in my other works?? for context im aromantic and i like. Constantly talk abt it even to my allo friends esp abt the constant amatonormativity the world likes to throw at us. specfically how ppl feel pressured to be in a relationship. why? well, various reasons: to fit in, to be seen as "more mature" (aspecs tend to experience infantilization and this doubles if ur autistic), to be seen as human, bc u feel like itll make u whole, bc u dont realize theres another option!! ive always hced my favs as aro ever since i realized it, but i always used to focus on the ace part of my identity. so i never rlly got to write a fic that explores aromanticism, aside from a fic i wrote four years ago in which leorio and kurapika hxh r in a qpr

another thing is i have ocd and for that reason, i dont like to write abt sexual topics . but in this fic, ive been sorta delving into that (its literally nothing just a fade to black that immediately goes to like the character waking up in another character's bedroom) and idk i think it shows my growth in a way?? that im willing to finally write that stuff without my ocd trying to kill me??? idk its . smth

im also having a Lot of fun writing akane and miras dynamic. i think, with me hcing them as aro (akanes aroace and miras an aro lesbian), i feel itd stand out more compared to other mirakane fanworks and interpretations . like this isnt a relationship ur supposed to root for!!! its abusive, its messy, its Uncomfortable, gory, and both women have ulterior motives. idk i like writing abt two unabashedly flawed queer women and having them navigate a relationship when one has no experience while the other has experience but whose disability prevents them from connecting w others (akane has a similar struggle), idk!! its an interesting dynamic

queerpei - i like a lot of the descriptions i wrote. im so used to writing akane that its soooo weird writing in the headspace of anyone else. but junpeis introspection is fun, like he has a mind of his own... i have this experience when writing akane (im plural so. go figure) and even when writing diana

angelus custos - so im kinda in the planning stage for this one but . Wow. im so proud of myself and how far ive come with this project, and just in general?? i used to primarily be a fic writer until 2018, when i decided to dabble in making my own characters. its always been bittersweet, bc my friends (all artists, never writers) would tell me to just make ocs instead of fanfic and my 12-14 yr old self would always be upset by that. so my characters never rlly came into their own so to speak

until This Year. ive been watching this rlly awesome youtuber named local script man. he's a screenwriter but a lot of his advice can apply to writing as well. i dont remember which video it was, but he talked abt how a characters' motivations can serve as fuel for smth deeper, like an insecurity for example. which THEN can serve as a backstory. and idky but it all clicked in my head?? character work became so much easier when i applied this to my process. i no longer had trouble w coming up w things that seemed to come naturally to most. bc i Know im good at fleshing out characters, i just needed to know how to do it for original work, even tho ive had friends praise my characters in the past

but yeah thats prob the best part of the story rn . im still having trouble w what their voices would sound like, speech patterns and the like, but thatd prob come around when i actually write the damn thing lol

BtSoyT - the idea itself has me so excited!!! ive been watching some horror movies, specifically recs from my friend @zebatverse hehe, and idk i feel like ive been getting more inspo and knowing what i'd wanna do if i were to write horror . i have several other ideas besides this in my notebook but this is one i wanna write the most. i even made a moodboard for it ^_^

[cassketti]

Tbh… you should totally drop your adrian shephard headcanons pls……..

OWCH OW OW OFYCK FUCK FUCK CRAMPS OCUH OC WO OWWWW

- filipino. hehehHAHAHAHAHA 🇵🇭🇵🇭🇵🇭

- He doesn’t know how to speak tagalog. Just picked up some words and phrases that his parents said.

- Agender. Lmfao. Aro bisexual

- I’ve been kinda thinking abt what his typology would be. Whats there to even type LMFAOO. But ermm. I’ve been thinking sp7, sx6, 8fix, 3fix. He’d def be like a 3V tbh.

- His spore launcher grew up. YAYY!!! Spore launcher, erm, shock trooper, acts like an angsty teen now.

- Adrian: ya man so like. I would be carrying this baby alien around with me and he SPITS OUT FUCKING uh FRUIT GRENADES AND SHIT like thats fucking sick man wish I can spit out fruit grenades Shock trooper: ddaaaaaad, ur embarassing me.. 😡😡😡

- But they’re both happy they were able to reunite <:3 HEHEHEHEHE

- Adrian was in stasis all like “that mf BETTER NOT BE DEAD.. THAT WAS MY SSON…..”

FUCK OW OW OWWW

- i hate his cannon (ish?) personality. Tf u mean “adventure”?? Acting like ur going to a field trip and shit. Omfg.

- That being said. He does try to look for opportunities of “adventure”. Type of guy to purposely get himself lost. Like he’d be walking home and go “damn bruh what if I just went a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT route than I usually do”. Chris McCandless ass 😭😭

- I feel like he’s the younger sibling 💀💀LIKE THE TYPE WHO ACTS MORE CHILLER AND I GUESS MORE MATURERER THAN THE OLDER ONE. Mitchell tries so hard to be like a role model for him but adrians jus chilling

OW

- (This is after like stasis. So like, hl2) hates being in the dark (literally). Hates being alone too. He’s not like super duper social or anything but he tries to surround himself with people or at least someone to keep him company.

- Touch starved, lmfao.

- Foams at the mouth at the sight of grass and light /j

- He gets overwhelmed (physically) easily. Light gives him a headache. He notices sounds more.

- Adrian’s upset that his home is kinda, gone. And he feels rlly homesick and there’s nothing he could do 😭😭😭 bro came back from 20 years of the void and he finds out that everything has completely changed.

- Cuz like. In his years of stasis he was fantasizing about being back at Earth and what he would do again, then he comes back and ITS TERRIBLEEE 😭😭😭

- Hungry. Appreciates his meals alot more than he did before. I mean who wouldn’t, look at WHAT EARTH IS IN HL 2. THE COMBINE FOOD IS NASSSSTTYY AND SOME PEOPLE BE JOINING CIVIL PROTECTION FOR IT.

- this isnt an adrian shephard hc. But like i like to think rebel bases has like those filipino tricycles, the ones with a motercycle attached to like a cab. Yk? Alyx rides on them a few times. Hc she’s also (partially) filipino 🇵🇭🇵🇭

- he used to be kind of a germaphobe. Bro washed his hands two-three times for more than 20 seconds each. Like he’d wash his hands and go “damn wait a minute what if I didn’t wash it enough. One more time just in case.” He carried hand sanitizer with him everywhere. Washed his face and doused himself in lysol disinfectant spray whenever he came into contact with something that “just felt dirty”. Wiped down his belongings after someone borrowed it. Tried not to open doorknobs directly with his hands as much as possible. Used to be hesitant on petting stray animals. He grew out of it, eventually. Lol. Such a 1F (ME TOO ME TOO ME TOO)

- I mean he’s an animal person tho. That’s just a collective agreement at this point. That mf liked animals. He likes otters. The spore launcher reminded him of an otter.

- Hated being seen as weak or pathetic. Tries to make himself important. Hates people seeing him emotional. Tries to act calm and collected and shit. He doesn’t know what he’s doing most of the time.

- Likes journaling. I do too. He glues scraps and other stuff on a page when he didn’t feel like writing.

- Feels like he failed something. Like he could’ve reached his fullest potential but didn’t. Erm. Wasn’t able to at least.

- gman bullies him cuz he thinks it’s fucking funny as hell. Like, just do things that would inconvenience Adrian slightly (not rlly slightly). Like gman moves furniture precisely where Adrian would hit his elbow really hard, flinch and turn around really fast, then hits his head on another piece of furniture, then he falls over and hit his back on the edge of a chair.

- Gman would abruptly teleport next to adrian, trip him over, then immediately disappear right before Adrian could get up.

- Yk. Stuff like that.

- Adrian’s lowkey scared of gman. I mean shit I would be too if I was him. He’s scared that gmans gonna come in and ruin everything for him. Gordon is too, I could go into detail and my gordon hcs I literally have notes for it. anyways.

- He dyed his hair blonde

Theres more buuut WHATEVER. Some of these dont even rlly have an apparent reason I jus be like “ya this got to be adrain shephard” and believe its true

Part 2 if someone asks this question again FILIPINO EDITION🇵🇭🇵🇭😇😇/j

[enden-k]

enden out here reminding me that guili isnt canon and they can infact just be friends gosh i hate it but i do get so fucking jealous looking at her. once the leaks came out i guess i just completely forgot they can be just friends and ive been in turmoil for like two days about it "zhongli would be so fucking upset if he knew i didnt particularly care for guizhong AS A CHARACTER becuz he loves her sm" you have removed my rage lmao thank you for returning me to the earth. icant explain it but it just instantly left my body

i find it so confusing that people seem to think of them as lovers immediately bc i always saw them as old, best friends who were so close to each other that she rlly was the only one who knew him so well 🥹 but it doesnt have to make them lovers bc platonic love and friendship is a thing too and is as meaningful and deep

its also sad to me to see ppl hate on a female character so easily bc she is interpreted as a lover just bc she is close to a fav; esp guizhong can and deserves to be more than just the generic "dead ex who changed her lover"; i love imagining her teasing him, i love them having different kind of humor but they still understand each others jokes, i love them teaching each other things; sharing their knowledge and taking on little things of the other without noticing, i love them having deep discussions about various topics and open each others eyes to new views, i love them loving each other but differently than lovers and more like the family they found in each other (w the adepti belonging to it too)

ofc ppl can think of them how they want, platonic or not, i dont go around and hate on them. personally i just love to have zhongli have a best friend, a family, makes it sadder for me to know he lost it than him losing a lover tbh ajsbcbjdacbjad (im sorry im aro, i have trouble feeling with a char when it comes to dead lovers, i just find it boring and not impactful 😭)

anw!! good to see youre not upset anymore??

[ecivons]

Ok this one is genuinely just me rambling but Ive just been slapping these labels on myself without actually telling anyone what I was because I was never fully sure. I was AWARE of what Asexuality was but I wasn’t super knowledgeable on how the spectrum worked. Even after JaidenAnimations (someone I used to watch religiously) had a video speaking about it and even after my friend came out as Ace.. I guess I just never really thought about the AroAce identity too much. ?

Fast forward to 2022, I got into one piece and thought “wow Luffy is probably on the Aroace spectrum” (I mean it is a popular hc..)

I THINK what got me the most was that most of the first few Lawlu fics I read would identify the two of them on the aroace spectrum (there was this one in particular that identified Law as aro and Luffy as ace) and I was OBSESSED with the concept to say the least. Exploring my own sexuality thru shipping was rlly not what I expected from myself. I was aware of the many things ppl would say abt the Aroace spectrum and how it’s full of diverse people and does not necessarily mean the complete and utter absence of love. I KNEW this and yet I couldn’t seem to understand it (especially along with other shit like demi sexualities etc etc ) FUCK and then I became a Lawlu and Cytham fan and realized that I loved them in an Aroace relationship sooo much. It made me take a step back and really analyse myself and my opinions on relationships, and i eventually found myself relating to a lot of aromantic and/or asexual people's experiences.

I think I'm somewhere on the aroace spectrum and I’m glad that I was able to discover this about myself. I just wrote this because I find it extremely stupid and silly that this all started bc of one piece.

[primroses-n-deadleaves]

i dont have anyone to talk to rn, not out of anything bad theyre just busy and also have their own issues and so on; its okay still it leaves me wondering what went wrong? i only have two ppl that i can rlly talk to like both socialize and also to the extremes of venting, i try to help them too but im not rlly good at it, and so, whenever theyre missing or busy, i feel very alone, which is funny becuz im quite fortunate to have a semi active group on discord with cool ppl but instead of trying to get rid of my loneliness ig i jus self isolate idek whats wrong with me now, all the bad stressful stuff passed, for now,, mom was angry cuz my room got infested with termites, she got rid of them and i was left with the task of cleaning the stain,; and i jus discovered theres more termites to my side that went unnoticed by mom and that are eating the table and chair,; she doenst know of that yet thou so i can handle but i havent, the weekend approaches which is when well be doing all of this, i could try to take care of it before saturday before she notices and gets even more angry at me but here i am writing instead.

i feel very useless, my car is still at the repair shop so i can go out and buy the insecticide i need to get rid of the termitees, its at the repair shop cuz i let it break,, when it broke i called mom and she was at work so she asked me if i had any friends that could come and help me, all my friends are little ppl on my phone stuck to the other side of screen,; she had to call her friend which i was lucky that he was available and came to help me i felt very alone and useless and without any friends theres only so much online friends can do and i dont blame them, im also an online friend to them and i cant rlly do much for them either; that said, i rlly want irl friends.... but those "friends" i, stupid highschool drama ruined all my friendships its been 4 years and im still suffering the consequences of it; and also i rlly miss them, even if they were shitty and used me i still miss them;; maybe if i had acted like nothing id probably still be used sure but maybe i wouldve had someone to call when my car broke down

also im unemployed, with a gambling addiction of all things,, ive been thinking of getting a cheaper addiction- well, cheaper in the long run, something like smoking, not drinking, drinking is a bit expensive and my family from dad's side has a history of alcoholism,, so smoking or vaping, ruin my lungs,, im pretty sure a pack of cigarettes is cheaper than putting 100 into gacha games; why not look for a job? great question, i have, maybe not hard enough but im a bit too depressed if u cant tell by the writing; ive also tried to do online job but its rlly taxing to do a lot of work making vids and such to see no profit and ik ik it comes with time but i dont have time i need money now the funniest part is that i tried to apply for military jobs yknow the army and even those have rejected me, yes im overweight according to bmi, thats all they needed to disqualify me,; so instead i spend my time leeching money of mom, i feel very guilty, im a horrible child,, i sobbed when i was getting my meds and it ended up costing 30 bucks to buy becuz i sent it to a damn walgreens instead of a local pharmacy that accepts my insurance, i lost my meds and i could get refill but itll end up costing until i change the location which i cant change until my next visit

i wanted to kill myself when mom told me i could be working rn and that she was right, i could be working rn but instead i was laying on the bed which isnt even mine becuz i sleep on my sisters room taht has ac

the feeling had dissipated for a moment, well, it left when i repressed my feelings, which writing about it makes me confront those feelings so the suicidal ideation is back; in moments like this i think about one certain episode of fairly odd parents, yknow the one where timmy sees how the world would be if he never existed and sees that everyone around him is doing better without him? i dont remember the ending, i just think about it and think im better off dead, literally, i bring no good to the world

if u happen to stumble upon this, dw, i have a strangely strong will to live, last time i rlly tried to kill myself and acted, i called the hotline, which took me to the hospital where i was fortunate its a good hospital and got treated nicely,; bottom line is, and i quite hate this part of myself, ill live,; this stupid survival instict is strong enough to keep me from dying, i rlly hope it wasnt , life honestly isnt worth living,, the world is a shit place

[dgrpprideflags]

aromantic flag picked from hajime hinata!

requested by: anonymous

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

omg i felt weird abt sending that ask but i was hoping it would inspire some dumping of thoughts, hell yeah i relate a lot actually being autistic/adhd and a trans guy. which is honestly why i’m caught off guard by my recent izzy fascination. i think i’d be less fascinated if i was involved in the fandom and had been bogged down by discourse lol. like i fully HATED him on my first watch when the show came out a few months ago and prayed on his downfall but then i set the show aside for a while and rewatched it last month and since then i can’t stop thinking abt him. i think it’s bc i’m at a place rn where i find it rlly hard to connect to ppl, have to shove down my feelings to get by on the daily, i’ve have a bunch of very emotional ppl around me my whole life who i’ve had to manage things for, and bc of my autistic interest with character tropes starting from a super young age i sometimes have to work to see other ppl as archetypes of themselves rather than fully fledged nuanced ppl. so i’m interested in psychoanalysing him but not excusing his stuff bc he’s fr the most unhealthily coping person in the show which is saying something. but tbh i think if i let my walls down i’d relate to ed more? but the walls existing makes me relate a lot to izzy rn i think. but not that much bc like hey sucks and i’m gay. i will say i never got the repressed sexuality stuff from him but that’s just me. i read it more as him being completely repulsed by romance and emotion bc it stirs something in him he rlly doesn’t want to confront. idk i’m in my izzy hands blorbo era rn and trying to avoid talking to the wrong ppl abt it dbsnbd sorry if it’s annoying

Dude you're so valid. I hope you get better at letting people in and keep working on your empathy. I usually see Izzy kinning as a red flag but it sounds like you're relating to the fact that he's the only character on the boat who isn't in the found family and to the fact that he projects things onto people which you seem to be self aware of so ill let it slide. Onto Blorbo from my shows.

I suppose one doesn't have to read him as repressed. Although I don't think that him being a repressed gay guy and him being completely repulsed by romance and emotion because it stirs in him something he doesn't want to confront are necessarily so different. Either way the vibe is that he's scared or resentful of his own feelings for Ed. I've never thought that he was necessarily pretending to be straight or anything. This is all head canon at this point but to me I think he's probably willing to admit his sexual attraction to some men. (He knows he's attracted to Ed and would probably admit it if the right person asked him in the right way but he'd never even let himself form the thought "I want to fuck Lucius" much less say it out loud despite it being objectively true) But I that being said I think a repulsion to gay love, which we know he has because of the whole "He's done something to my boss's brain" bit (and all of the baggage that implying queer love is a corrupting influence carries), is still repression. I suppose if he's aromantic (I have seen that head canon floating since Con said that he isn't interested in a romantic relationship at the C2E2 panel) maybe not but Aro people don't choose not to love, they just don't experience romantic attraction. Izzy Hands seems to actively choose not to love, romantic or otherwise, because he thinks love makes you weak (if the way he treats a love sick Edward is any indication anyway). So IDK how comfortable I am with putting him in the aromantic category, just because there are so few aro characters and one of them being a man who despises love and is the villain in a rom-com trying to keep the alloromantic main couple apart isn't a great look, but that's a whole other thing.

But yeah avoiding certain people is a good plan because you really have to avoid certain takes. Because it's not like Izzy is Kylo Ren, right, he's not utterly deplorable in that sort of way (I know Kylo got a redemption arc but it was a shitty one that failed to actually redeem him and he was still a space fascist don't at me). He's just a fucked up guy on a pirate ship, if there was ever a place to be a fucked up guy it would be on a pirate ship. But if we're gonna sympathize with him we have to avoid certain takes and certain people. Like we just can't be pretending that he's not motivated by homophobia, we can't be pretending that Ed's abusing him somehow, we can't pretend that there's nothing to the reading of him doing some racist things, we can't pretend that he's some hypercompetent babysitter who is the only one getting things done on the ship (even if that's how he sees himself it's not true, it's proven wrong by the events of the show).

All that to say I guess he's a fun blorbo as long as you're not vilifying Ed or missing the point of the character. Probably keep avoiding Izzy stans tbh.

[kittyking445]

Y'know what. I'll say it,

Being Aromantic, SPECIFICALLY aromatic allosexual and interacting with fandom spaces is genuially one of the mose draining nd upsetting things ever, and Centaurworld is a great example

Centaurworld is genuially one of my fave shows still nd one of the reasons is bc it's one of the ONLY children's media, and actually one of the only shows in general were romance is NEVER a main focus.

The only depictions of EXPLICIT romantic attraction in season one was

- Wammawinks crush on Sunfish Merguy

- Sunfish Merguy then revealing he has a girlfriend

- Comfortable Doug mentioning husband and/or wife in his song

That's it. Even Wammas crush is rlly only the b-plot of the ep. It's never dragged out, never made a priority, there's no realationship drama nd one of the MAIN THEMES r the herd r like found family.

Ppl ofc still shipped them. Unless they creators would outright say Wammawink legally adopted them all ppl would still find ways to ship them, even then ppl would.

But then season 2 came out, again the only EXPLICIT depictions of romance are

- Sunfish Merguy and Jeffica appearing again

- the 2 Moletaurs wedding Horse interrupted

- Elktaurs crush on MW and their relationship

- Splendib and Zulius getting together and related, Cheds crush on Zulius

Again, that's it. Most of those r one-off jokes that r barely mentioned nd Elktaur nd MW end with MW bashing his head in. Again, none of it is a main focus. Zulius nd Splendib only happen in the last couple episodes and MW and Elktaurs relationship is only revealed in the last ep nd only for backstory reasons

There's no big romantic plotlines in the show, no drama of "will they won't they", no acting like romantic love is the most important. And in season 2 they're even MORE EXPLICIT of the herd being family.

Horse nd Rider call each other sisters, Wamma constantly acts motherly towards the whole herd, Zulius was an adult by the time all the herd were kids nd Ched as a teenager when Durpleton couldn't be older then 10, they literally have a JOKE in the birdtaurs song where the herd say they're platonic (yes ik this was just a general jab st fandom shipping but it's the same situation)

Centaurworld could not be more obvious it's a FOUND FAMILY show unless the whole herd came onscreen and said they are a family and see each other as family nd family only.

And yet. Every. Single. Godamn time I go into the tags I always ALWAYS see ship art. The show where we get almost 0 shipping potential and yet MOST POST'S r still Abt shipping

This right fucking here is why I'm so SO fucking sick of allos at this point, nd why I genuinely do think being alloaro in fandom spaces is the fucking WORST. No matter what, no matter what the show is Abt, no matter how the characters r depicted, no matter what the characters say, no matter if we finally get a show where the main focus is found family nd there's barely a mention of romance, allos in the fandom will still fucking take this from us and make it about romance.

I'm aroallo, I know I'll probably never see proper representation for me in any mainstream media. I'll get luck if there's at LEAST aroace characters to come by. But there r a few times where there's a show or book or even just one specific character where their main focus is to show how romantic love isn't needed nd ppl can be happy nd healthy and completely fine without any form of romance in their life, nd allos will SOME HOW, STILL make it about them. Elsa needs to date the random village girl when her entire story is about not needing a partner to be happy, ppl ship Ched and Durpleton when they're the mose obvious depiction of brothers I've ever seen, ppl need to ship Lapis and Peridot when they can just be friends and Peridot is already Canonly aroace.

Fandom spaces are not safe 4 aros, their for allos to live out their fantasies by shipping some two random characters together and filling up the tags with it, and then calling us homophobic or "mean" when all we want is to not be reminded CONSTANTLY we don't feel romantic love and most ppl think that's the only way ur supposed to feel.

I'm so fucking tired of it.

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

I’m so scared that I’m gonna lose the people in my life if I come out as aro. And I also feel like I’m being some silly tumblr person by using aro terms and stuff, if that makes sense. Like, a lot of my aro journey was on tumblr, and I got a lot of other resources from aro/ace tumblr blogs too while I was questioning. Like. Most people irl won’t know half these words, won’t know what a qpr is, won’t understand or take it seriously. I feel like my whole family will be judging and mocking me if I come out and ever get in a qpr or talk about things like amatonormativity. Idk how my friends will react either. A lot of them are queer themselves, and I’m out to one of my best friends, who accepts me whole heartedly, so I’ve got that. And some other friends who I trust with my life and know would be okay with it all. By some I mean two or three. The rest I’m genuinely not sure will understand or take me seriously. What if I really am just silly and being over dramatic and over label-y and all? No one in my life knows what this is, I have no guarantee they’ll respect it, let alone understand it. My sister is ace, so she knows it, and she’s one of the people in my family I think would stick by me. But everyone else I don’t think so. And ik it’s gonna sound stupid, but everyone else I meet, they just. Won’t even know or understand or take me seriously. Bosses and strangers and potential friends and peers and all. Ik you’re not supposed to let other people drag you down and be scared of being judged or whatever, but that’s so much easier said then done, especially when it hinges on almost everyone you’ve known your whole life. And it doesn’t help that I know their doubt will only enforce my own. I struggle with believing that different attractions exist, that qprs are valid, that IM valid. Sometimes I feel like I’m making it all up, like I’m just engaging in some conspiracy theory. And another little fun point is that I often really like and get queerplatonic crushes (I forgot the term ajdbdksbdj) on people who are allo. So there’s a high chance they wouldn’t ever get in a qpr with me, even if they knew and understood what it was. I have a rlly big qp crush on this one guy rn who I just have the sneaking suspicion would most likely never be in a qpr. And even if he were, then that leaves me with the fear of him leaving me behind for a romantic partner. Ik this ask sounds really insecure and all, but I just. Can’t get over it. Like none of its real, or it’s so, so small, that I’ll lose half of my family and friends.

Honestly coming out is hard, and it’s especially hard when you don’t know how people are going to react, or you’re afraid you’ll lose their support or damage the relationship if you do come out. And it’s very normal and reasonable to be nervous about it, or have fears over it. 

I do think it’s great though you’ve already come out to a couple of people and have their support. Definitely don’t be afraid to lean on them a bit, especially as you tell other people, or make plans on how you’re going to come out to others.

Remember you don’t have to be out to everyone, or you can kind of pick and choose how you want to come out or how you want to be out. So like if there’s people you’re not that close to, and it’s not important to you that they know, you can just not bother coming out to them at all. 

You also don’t have to do the big coming out conversation where you explain exactly what aroace means to everyone too. There are other ways to be out, like wearing pride stuff/having pride stickers on your bag, having a post on your social media or putting it in your profile, etc. And then if people don’t get it or care, they can look it up or ask you themselves. 

There is a good chance your queer friends will know what aroace means too, or at the very least they’ll know what asexual means, and likely know what aromantic means too. So how accepting they’ll be may still be a question mark, but it will likely be less explaining than the straight people in your life. 

For the coming out/explaining, sometimes people have an easier time getting their heads around things if you start with an explanation rather than the terminology. So saying ‘I’m not romantically/sexually attracted to people’ may be a better starting point for some people than ‘I’m aroace’. Or even ‘I’ve just never been interested in dating/sex at all’ and you can throw in ‘I still want a life partner of some kind, but not in a romantic sense’. And then once they kind of get their head around that you can start explaining terms. Definitely for people you don’t think will know anything about the aroace community/identities, start as simple as you can. And you can elaborate more down the line.

People’s reactions can vary a lot, personally I’ve never gotten the ‘that’s a tumblr fad’ reaction, but I have had people who just went ‘that doesn’t compute’ and completely ignored the information. Some came around eventually and some didn’t. Some people do get weirdly angry, but a lot of people also surprised me with how quick they were to just accept it and be supportive. I do think it can help a lot too when you’re worried about being accepted to make it a 1 on 1 conversation where they’re invited to ask questions and give feedback and then it’s more of a conversation that they’re involved in. And slowly do that with everyone you’re close to or care about knowing.

I find sometime too when people are doubting it’s a real thing having strong sources to back you up can help too. This can be a Wikipedia article, it can be a Guardian or Huffington Post article, there are scholarly sources too though they’re less accessible to mot people. But it can help you a lot too with the ‘this is a real thing and not something made up on tumblr.’

I’d also say remember the big rules when it comes to coming out. Do it on your terms, do it how you’re most comfortable with, and how it works for you. You only have to come out to people you want to be out to. 

All the best, and good luck!

[catsnraincoats-archive]

Hi mourn can you maybe share some of your Yamaguchi and Kenma bff headcanons ?

HI PIZZ YES I CAN

- when he doesnt have school or practice Kenma will drop off the face of the earth. And yet somehow every time someoens like "I havent seen kenma in like. a week" yamaguchi's just "??? we hung out yesterday??" "really?? he hasnt answered any of my texts" yamaguchi, actively texting him "huh. weird"

- Yamaguchi played a lot of games but he never really got into Pokémon until Kenma got him some n he was like '?? thanks but why?" "I need someone to trade the haunter with so I can get Gengar"

- Kenma doesnt like to talk but he actually doesn't like being alone so Yamaguchi will be around him as they each do their own thing n yamaguchi infodumps

- Kenma now has a ton of obscure facts about the most random things because of Yamaguchi's hyperfixations

- THEY HAVE. A MOVIE NIGHT EVERY TWO WEEKS OR SO they switch off deciding who gets to choose

- Kenma mains wario in mario kart and yamaguchi makes fun of him

- "You LITERALLY main yoshi you dont get to talk" "WARIO THOUGH?? NOT EVEN WALUIGI??"

- one time a new version of one of Kenma's favorite games was coming out n he was just. shaking with energy n infodumped to yamaguchi for two hours about the plot and lore n everything

- Yamaguchi came out of Kenma as aro n he was rlly worried abt it but Kenma was just. "so you dont feel romance?" "yeah" "oh. same lol"

- they went to the same primary school and were friends for a year or so, then later in highschool when they become friends again they don't. realize they already knew eachother until like a year later

- "Hey kenma have you eaten today" "oh shit" "yw"

- "Yamaguchi you'rr going the wrong way" "you aren't even with me rn how can you tell i'm going the wrong way" "Intuition" he was right

[pirateboy]

the trio :) donna toby josh pls

The Trio!!! I love them!!! (also love that u literally could have ended this after 'the trio' and I would've known exactly who u were talking about)

I've answered for josh here (literally as I'm writing this u liked the post sjdjdk but I'm still gonna link it for other people's convenience) @shannonhutchins I'll answer the donna part here cos hopefully these 2 aren't gonna be as long

Donnaaaa <<<3

I feel like it would be blasphemous to not start off with aroace donna, that's like. my whole thing lmao. The longer I have this hc the more sex and romance repulsed she gets so. I rlly like the idea of being romance repulsed tho it also does make sense. See I feel like she's the kind of aro who rlly likes romance in theory, who's always loved the idea of being in a relationship and this grand romance, but like physically Cannot when it's applied to themselves. Also this leads to her convincing herself for a long time that she likes josh when she rlly doesn't, but because she does genuinely love him! And it seems like. It seems like the kind of thing that should lead to a relationship so she convinces herself of that, and it's only when amy asks if she's in love with josh that she realises she isn't.

Autistic and adhd Donna go brrr. I've only recently started Actually thinking about this, but it's so good. I think there's more actual evidence for adhd donna then autistic donna?But it makes sense for her to have both in the way that they kind of cancel each other out sometimes? They rlly don't my brain can attest to that but in the way they present ig I meant . But I'd have to watch the earlier seasons again to look for it. Late seasons donna is masking a lot tho. She definitely masks very well anyways, just consequences of growing up as an autistic girl. I think donna expresses her hyperactivity through talking a lot, also all the trivia stuff is just hyperfixations (u telling me the skiiing wasn't a hyperfixation? ok). Also I like the idea of her having a language special interest. Oh also she does the t-rex hands All the time josh teases her about it so much.

Ok umm this one is just Donna's family ig? I've been thinking a lot about it cos I'm writing a fic to do with it but anyways. (Also I honestly can't remember what she said about her parents in the Supremes so this probably doesn't align with that sorry) She's not rlly close with her family, she is pretty close with her cousin Beatrice tho. I read a rlly good fic where her mum was called Nerida and I've kind of stolen that. Her dad is called Colin cos that's absolutely hilarious to me. She has 4 siblings, yes that's quite a lot ik but writing big families is fun. So the oldest is Dante, he's like 5 years older than the rest of them, her mum had him pretty young, then the girls, Isabella, Maddalena then Donnatella are all fairly close in age, then Donna has a younger brother who's like 10 years younger than her called Liam. Kind of hc that her dad left a few years after she was born and thats when they moved to madison, but then he came back before Liam was born. So she's definitely a lot closer to her mum, although like I said she's rlly not that close to anyone in her family. Also don't think she had a lot of friends as a child, she was just rlly lonely. Her mum's a direct immigrant from Italy, and Donna always feels bad about not knowing about that side of her family. Her interest in languages started when she started teaching herself italian.

President Donna Moss my beloved!!! I just think she should get to be president I think she'd be good at it :) I think. 2022. It's only fair that the republicans get two goes, but then it's Donna's turn >:) I think her and josh get married for political purposes, her because she knows it will be easier for her to get elected if she's married, him because he thinks it was be cool to be first lady. I don't have anything else to say I don't know how the presidency works. Which is probably good this is getting very long.

Donna listens to vocaloid music. Asksks I will not shut up about this sorry. It doesn't even make sense chronologically. I think Donna and music in general is definitely a thing, probably a special interest ngl, but something she's very into. Also I feel like she definitely would like a lot of 'cringy' things, so vocaloid makes sense. Also a lot of the themes explored in vocaloid do make sense for Donna. She probably watches anime as well tbh, she's a bit of a weeb. Definitely started learning Japanese.

Toby Zachary Ziegler >:)

Autistic toby!!!! Rlly obsessed with this one atm actually I just think it makes sense :) He's not very good at the whole socialising thing, I also think he's bad at eye contact and also is very sensitive to touch. The stimming is honestly canon, both the rubber ball and just the stuff he does with his hands I dunno lmao. Also... there's something about his honesty that feels very autistic. Special interests in planes and poetry I said what I said. I also truly believe with all my soul that he goes non verbal. I don't think he's diagnosed, I like the idea of him figuring it out after josh tells him about his adhd and he goes off to do research about it. Whether he gets diagnosed after that is up to u. He had the classic starts speaking very late experience, but no one rlly cared enough to look into it more, they were just like he'll start speaking eventually, which I mean. he did.

Ace toby!!!! While I think it makes sense in canon, it's not rlly based on canon lmao I just thought it would be cool so dunno rlly what to say. I think he's fairly sex-favourable when his sensory sensitivities allow, I also rlly like the idea of him wearing an ace ring. I think he's bi-romantic, he definitely has been openly queer for a while, definitely was involved with some queer activism in his younger days, I don't know when exactly he'd encounter the term asexual? But it's something that he'd know immediately fits him. Also I think it makes his whole thing with andy in s4 a lot more interesting, cos like it's implied that they were just hooking up right? But if toby's doing that just because he still has romantic feelings for her and he feels like that's the only way he can be with her even though it's something he doesn't want to do, then damn.

Agender toby!!!! Akdsk why am I just cycling through the As? I don't know if he actually identifies as that? But he doesn't rlly feel any connection to his gender, like he's fine with presenting masculine and using he/him pronouns, but he doesn't ever rlly feel like a man. I think he never rlly questioned it, but he's having these conversations with josh about gender and he realises he doesn't rlly get what josh is talking about cos he doesn't have a connection to his gender, but he also like doesn't do anything with this information he's just like ok cool I guess.

Ok no more As sadly, this hc is just that basically toby kind of adopts donna. (I could have probably turned that into an a but eh). I think he's always respected Donna, but he has never rlly that close with her, he just kind of viewed her as oh thats Josh's assisstant, but that starts to change after rosslyn. I think the defining Moment for them tho, is when Toby tells her about the ms. Now he already does trust her at this point to be telling her about it, but I think that's when he realises that she's something special and formally takes her under his wing. He pushes her to get more job opportunities, he teaches her stuff he knows about politics, all that. Because of this I also think it hurt him when Donna left the white house for russell, not in the same way as josh, but he still felt betrayed. Also along with Jed the first person to realise she could be president.

After leaving the white house Toby goes into more radical politics. I dunno, why not.

[thedreadvampy]

this is kind of a Hot Take (and rlly long) so don't feel pressured to post this

also no one cancel thedreadvampy over posting this ask if she does these are my beliefs and not necessarily hers kthx

I'm honestly really uncertain why people are so militant about aphobia on this site. like obviously aphobes are Not Nice People and it's good to be against their shitty beliefs. But I've been on this site for ~5 years and I have never, in my memory, seen an aphobe (with the few exception of like. literal nazis but their main label isn't aphobe). I have seen a lot of people who were then harassed/cancelled being called aphobes in addition to a lot of other things like (homophobic, racist, abusive, etc) but as far as I bothered to figure out, the label of aphobe came from one specific phrase they used or one post they reblogged (though I can't be bothered to Deep Research so I genuinely don't know on this one).

(I have seen casual acephobia in my own personal life. however, that is not Tumblr.)

I have seen scores of posts along the lines of "aphobes are bad" "aphobes dni" etc etc.

Maybe it's just who I follow, but it seems like there's a lot more anti-aphobe sentiment than aphobes. Which is good! It's the goal! However, I think it's possible that that anti-aphobe sentiment has not become "look how few aphobes there are! yay!" it's "there are hidden aphobes all around us and you have to interrogate everyone to know who to ostracize"

You're a fairly popular figure in the mechs/tma fandoms and the thing about Tumblr is that it hates popular figures. And more than that, you're visible, so a) people will see if you answer a bunch of questions about ace things, and b) you exist in everyone's brains more than little blogs.

to be clear. to be absolutely crystal 100% clear: I am not saying that people got together and went "let's interrogate all the popular blogs so we can pretend theyre acephobic and have fun bullying people," I'm saying it's possible that what was once a positive emotion, "we don't tolerate intolerant people" has possibly, in some people, morphed into a fear that intolerant people are hiding all around them. And frankly, that fear can be understandable (not right, not kind, but understandable), especially if they face hate irl and their only outlet for emotion is tumblr. shit, Tumblr is one of my emotional outlets.

I don't think it's bad to engage with these people in good faith, or to answer questions, but I think it's possible that some of them are coming from the "intolerant people are hiding all around us and must be ferreted out" kind of perspective instead of a "hey I wanna check that this person isn't an intolerant asshole before following/supporting them" or "I want to engage with a person who may be ignorant" (I'm not attempting to imply that you're ignorant). Im not saying "not answer their questions" this is just, like, my opinion. I'm not making a lot of actionable statements here.

that's my whole Hot Take, hopefully I made some kind of sense, I just honestly feel kind of mad on your behalf that you have to go thru an interrogation to be Not Tumblr Cancelled. If people were generally having a nuanced discussion then that would be fine but you've already stated several times that ace/aspec people are valid and deserve love and respect etc etc. which as an aspec person makes me feel that your blog is safe for me, and I don't feel the need to play 20 Questions Are You Sure You Aren't An Aphobe

I don't know how much of this I entirely agree with and I refuse to think

(not about this. just in general. today I refuse to think)

my main response to this is:

a) I think my confusion is I have less than 1500 followers I think I always assumed the You Are Now A Public Figure People Have Opinions On mark had to be higher than that but this appears to have been a totally incorrect assumption

b) I don't feel like. a threat of Cancellation except inasmuch as I don't want Kofi to eventually get any kind of kickback if I turn out to be or people understand me to be a shitty person. I didn't ask for a platform or do anything to deserve it, if I get distressed it's largely just that I don't want to be a shitty person! and I have a whole thing about. I don't ever feel secure in my ability to say I'm NOT being shitty so like if enough people start saying AH RUTH THEDREADVAMPY IS A GARBAGE PERSON I definitely do stay wondering if they're right even if I think my position is morally defensible. like I'm very easy to get into a spiral of I think that's highly defensible but maybe I'm just in denial/trying to cover my ass/self-justifying so I can avoid accountability/etc. like this is a thing and it's why I'm very uncomfortable with absolutism, a lot of my family in my experience have a phenomenal capacity for denial and for rewriting reality into something they Fully Believe despite all the evidence, and so I'm really conscious of the possibility that I'm doing that and I wouldn't. know about it. it's a really really powerful subconscious force and that's been like. a big fear point for me my whole life. that I could be being a cunt and be obviously being a cunt and be so deep in denial that it just doesn't register at all. this is like. the thing I fear most. So I DO want people to tell me if I'm being a dick because the only way I can 100% know I'm not just in denial is if I can trust people to call me in, but I really, really, really struggle with when people say I'm being a dick and I disagree, not because they're harassing me necessarily but just because it really sends me into a spiral of doubting my own ability to be sure about like, anything. at all. it's a whole unreality thing which is, uh, it's MINE to deal with, it's not something I would want to put on other people, but it very much does affect my responses and I didn't mean to write this but hey, no therapy last week and it shows.

oh also c) on reflection I don't agree that there's very little aphobia on Tumblr (although as I've said I'm not ace or aro so my opinion should hold little weight) but I do think that there's a lack of give and take, not just in aphobia stuff but also in general, in these kinds of conversations, like sometimes yeah people are actively hateful but I don't think there's any room for misunderstanding, poor phrasing, or questioning, and I understand that that's coming from a really genuine place of pain and devaluation of aro/ace experiences but I also think people jump straight to assuming active malice very fast, and often explicitly consider "actively not stating an opinion" to be an offence on the level of "actively staying a harmful opinion," which I think is unhelpful. like. we learn by listening, there are times in my life where I would have been lying at the time to agree unconditionally with something like "I think we should believe survivors" (I was a 2000s teen who hung out with 4channers) but I also was conscious of the harm that it would do to publicly debate from the perspective that No We Shouldn't Believe Survivors, so you know I waited and I listened and I thought about it and ultimately I came to a position I could say with my chest. but like. The online social more that you Have to have an opinion and I Have to hear it to prove that you have the Right opinion is. uncomfortable to me to say the least. I don't think it gives you much room to learn and improve, especially given that everything on the internet is permanent and often treated as if it forever reflects your current beliefs. like I have changed my opinions So Much since I was 16 and if someone went back through a tag on my blog to Prove My Bad Opinions they could paint pretty much any picture they wanted with 12 years of changing opinions.

anyway yeah like. no I don't fully agree with this ask but I appreciate the alternate perspective. I also did not mean to write another wall of text I'm just very much In A Brain Hole today and sometimes words Just Happen.