#i review a LOT of horror movies on there so that's where you will find a lot of them

[h3artmate]

hello :) i watched strange way of life tonight. it was good as a short film but i would really like a feature length film of it. but you do get to see pedro pascal's ass and hear him talk about ethan hawke's cum.

tl;dr: pedro pascal as "needy bottom". 4?/5

[maleyanderecafe]

Have you seen “All The Boys Love Mandy Lane”? One of the characters, Emmet, definitely seems like a yandere

So I will preface this with the fact that I have no watched a lot of slasher or even horror movies before, so I'm pretty new to all of it. I do know the tropes from it though, which is sort of important for the twist in the story of All the Boys Love Mandy Lane. Though yes, I do think that Emmet is a yandere, he's just not very fleshed out within the movie/you need to make some connections to see it work.

The story starts out with Mandy walking through school with all guys eyeing her as she does. She is joined by her friend Emmet and invited to a pool party by a guy named Dylan. Mandy accepts but only if Emmet comes along and he agrees. During the party, a drunk Dylan comes up to Emmet who is sitting on the roof and starts talking about how he wants to bang Mandy. Emmet is able to convince him that jumping off the roof into the pool is a sure fire way to get her to like him and after some convincing, he does so. As he lands though, he ends up breaking his neck, dying in the pool. Nine months past and it seems that Emmet and Mandy are no longer as close as they were before. The three guys Red, Jake and Bird all talk about how they want to be the one to take Mandy's virginity. Chloe and Marlin convince Mandy to come on a road trip with them to Red's ranch while gossiping about how Emmet was the one who got Dylan killed, which is why he's shunned. They all head on the road trip to the cabin and eventually meet Garth, a guy who ends up protecting the group. Bird tries his hand at getting close to Mandy, managing to hold hands and kiss her on the cheek. Later that night, Merlin gives Jake a blowjob and upon leaving, the killer ends up sticking a gun in her mouth and breaking her jaw. As the night goes on, Jake who is drunk, ends up finding Merlin sitting next to a lake before he too is attacked by the killer. We find out that the killer is indeed Emmet, who has been obsessed with Mandy from the get go, having been shunned from the rest of his peers, he has a diary with obsessive scribbles about her. Eventually Bird runs out of the place, chasing after someone and finds himself face to face with Emmet. While he puts up a good fight, his face is eventually slashed by Emmet as he finishes him off. The remaining survivors realize that people have gone missing and start to barricading the house, though eventually, Garret tries to protect them and ends up getting shot. The other two, Red and Chloe attempt to run away, but find the body of Marlin and Jake near the fence. The two of them freak out before Red gets shot by Emmet. Chloe tries to hide next to some hay but finds the body of Bird there. She's able to run away and finds Mandy, however, Mandy ends up siding with Emmet and gets her killed with an axe. Mandy admits that he planned this all out and Emmet gives her pills to eat so they can have a suicide pact. Mandy changes her mind at the last moment and gets Garret to shoot Emmet. Emmet and Garret both get shot and Emmet chases Mandy inside a pit with decomposing dead cows. However, Mandy is able to take the upper hand and beats Emmet to death. She ends up driving away with an injured Garret.

So first of all, gotta say that this was a good movie for Halloween because boy was it a lot of killing. The general plot of it is that all the guys really want to sleep with Mandy because they want to claim her and relieve her of her virginity only to have Emmet end up killing everyone in the process. I don't actually know if this movie is good or not since the reviews seem pretty polarizing with some saying the movie is trash and some saying that it's really good, but I thought it was...okay? I think the twist at the end where the final girl (Mandy) was actually kind of masterminding everything and ends up killing Emmet, but unfortunately there's not a lot of explanation to it at all. Why did Mandy plan to get them all killed? I guess we can assume that it's because everyone kept on leering on her so this was a way to get them all killed or perhaps she developed a taste for it when Dylan jumped into the pool to kill himself. From what I can tell there's nothing that really indicates why she does it, so I can only speculate. What is interesting is that Mandy does actually end up saving Garret at the end even though she could have easily killed him (she nearly stabbed him). Emmet is pretty much the same, in where we do see that Emmet does like Mandy as shown by the notebook and possibly by seeing Emmet making Dylan jump off the roof. I think for him it was because he was shunned by everyone else (he states to Bird that he will be dead by the end of the day, seemingly not caring) and Mandy, his only friend shunned him as well. Still, we don't really know what it is because it's not necessarily clear why. Maybe he was mad that the other guys were leering at him, maybe he also found that killing Dylan was very fun for him, again this is something that's not explained. If this is the case, then he would be at least protective and jealous type of yandere, given he did kill off most of the cast. Once again though, we can only speculate on what he actually felt since it's not really explicitly said anywhere.

Overall, not a bad movie. I think it's a fun thing to watch, but it's not really anything that you'd want to watch for a yandere, unless you want to see the yandere just kill a bunch of people (and then getting killed by the love interest).

[transgriffin]

Just watched Godzilla: Minus One! (Spoiler free review/rant)

They promised and they gosh darn delivered - the human drama is fantastically written, with a lot of food for thought. We see the very unsettling internal struggle of a war-traumatized protagonist who cannot seem to find meaning in his life after surviving WWII. We see the stories of the people around him, souls scarred from the loss of life that resulted from the bombings. And we also see the human spirit prevailing through the darkness, in the middle of the rubble, as the dust of war settles, yet never allows them to forget what was lost and destroyed.

Godzilla - terror incarnate in the most beautiful and majestic flesh, gets presented to the audience as a real sucker-punch to the gut. The horror is palpable as the air rumbles and the brass roars our most beloved Ifukube tunes at the arrival of movie history's most prolific monster. Toho does not dare hide his presence in the shadows - in fact we get blessed with detailed shots of his body design, truly able to savour the artistry that was poured into his likeness, and that without ever breaking the pace. When he appears, he is truly here, and he has come to obliterate. This incarnation of Godzilla is brutality, and yet, I could not help but feel reminded of Jurassic Park's Tyrannosaurus rex in some shots, behaving like an animal does.

His eyes!!! This Godzilla does not walk over the city ignoring the ant-like humans in his wake. He knows that you are there. He is looking at you. He is coming to get you. And yet, you never get a real idea of what goes on inside this god of destruction's mind.

The story doesn't stop unfolding until its very end, where one is kept biting one's nails and shivering in the chair until, finally...

If your local cinema is still showing the film, I IMPLORE you to go watch it on the big screen. This film does so much with sound design, it truly ensures that you WILL feel the terror, you will feel the earth shaking and the world shattering at the arrival of GOJIRA.

Kenpachiro Satsuma-san, I hope you got to see this movie in all its glory before you left this earth. I hope they will add a dedication to you in the home release.

[miss0atae]

4Minutes a science-fiction story with near death experience and time travel (Ep 1):

I recently watched the first episode of 4Minutes. I finally found how to do it. I was really anticipating this series. I thought I knew what the story would be. I read the synopsis, I read other posts about it, I saw the pictures and the gifs and I made my own story in my mind. I don't know for you, but I can never stop myself from imagining what the story can be. As long as I have few information about a story, my mind is already working and trying to convince me about how the story will be told. After watching the episode there is one thing that it's true: I knew nothing. Let me explain, what I imagine it would be, wasn't what I watched. Don't get me wrong, I really appreciate what BOC is trying to do with its BL stories. Kinnporsche was this revisited mafia story, Dead Friend Forever played with the tropes of teen horror movies and now 4Minutes is showing us a mix of noir fiction and science-fiction. I wasn't expecting it and I find it truly interesting to see what they can do. I appreciate how they never use the same formula story for their projects and how they try to give us something different. So I'm not going to review the episode because so many people did it better than me. I just want to talk about why I consider 4Minutes to be a noir science-fiction story at its core and how the link between near death experience and time travel make sense together .

Let's start with saying what is a noir fiction and what is science-fiction and then we'll see why I think it works for 4Minutes. A noir fiction is a genre that really changed a lot. However there are some recurring characteristics: a corrupt system, corrosive effect of money, absurdity of the existence and psychological instability. I would also say that you can also find a mix of violence and sex too as it's often links to the Human condition. In 4Minutes, Great our main protagonist comes from a family who runs a company that serves as a cover for their illegal business. In this first episode, the patriarch of the family is entrusting his first son, Great's older brother Korn, into the “investment department” where most of their illegal business is occurring. We learn that the family has made their fortune through this means. Korn doesn't reject the idea. He is only fearing the difficulties to manager this new job. Is he accepting it because he believes it's right or because he doesn't have another choice… it remains to be seen. Korn and Great's family environment isn't really good. The two brothers, despite being half-brothers are close, but Great is avoiding his parents. As for Korn, he seems to hide them a part of his life such as his relationship with Tonkla (is it because it's a man or because they have this vibe of sugar baby/sugar daddy, we don't know yet). About Great, we know he is drinking and smoking, so mostly he doesn't have a healthy lifestyle and his parents usually have to save him when he mess up. At the beginning of the story, Great is experiencing his first 4minutes time travel that will remain the central plot of the story. This experience puts him in a psychological distress as he can't find a rational explanation to it.

Which leads me to why I believe the story is also from the science-fiction genre. Great is experiencing precognition and time travel and those are topic of undiscovered scientific possibilities you can usually find in science-fiction. It allows the characters and the viewers to experience speculative events. The premise of time often involves changing history or the future. As for now, Great can go back in the past 4 minutes. He only experienced it few times in the episode so he and us, don't know yet how everything is working or why is he experiencing it. Usually, time travel is about altering the past and see how it changes the future to create an altered present or future. The first time, it happened to Great he didn't avoid the woman, but she wasn't as hurt as she was supposed to be. The second time, it changed his first meeting with Tyme. Will Great do more change when he'll accept his new power or will he tries to avoid it? How is it really working? We'll have more answers in the next episodes. I wonder if the story will focus on the paradoxes and alternate timelines or if it's going to be more about contemporary and social issues. The latter works well with the noir fiction, but it's still too early to draw any conclusion. The first episode just set the plot, but also showing us some characters and their links together. I feel we still haven't seen everything.

Then we have another part that was developed in the story and it's near death experience (NDE). I believe it links together the number 4 (Great goes back 4 minutes in the past with his time travel power) and the idea of a time warp as an imaginary spatial distortion. Through this spatial distortion the character could possibly change the past and therefore change the present and the future. I will try to make it simple because it seems easy in my head, but I'm not sure I'll be able to write it properly. So firstly, the number four is considered unlucky in Thai culture, as it is in other cultures too. It is associated with death and bad luck. The Thai word for four, “si,” is also a homophone for the word “death.” Then, we have Dr. Den (a co-worker of Tyme) who is working on NDE by interviewing people who faced it. Their comments are common traits reported by NDErs: a bright light above, a sense of awareness, an out-of-body experience, being(s) dressed in white, receiving a life review… Most NDErs when “coming back” feel a change of attitudes and behaviors. It doesn't mean all of them are positive (I feel like it could be associated with Great's psychological answer after discovering his power). It's also important to notice that Great started to get his power of going back to the past 4 minutes ago, after he hit a woman who wanted to die. So his power of “time travel” is linked to death. I wonder if the series is questioning the paradox of Time: is death the end of time and does time has any end? If we can manipulate the time, can we manipulate death and consequently life too? Maybe I'm trying to find something too complicated in here, but I like that it made me do all these researches. I'm sure it's not a coincidence between all these plot sets, but we'll probably get more answers in the next episodes.

I think BOC is really putting a challenging story and I can’t wait to see how they will do it.

[dee-the-red-witch]

Time for a new pinned.

Yes, Hi. I'm Dee. I'm a queer trans woman in her 40's, I'm absolutely NOT your responsible adult, in addition to reblooping all manner of weird shit, blocking accounts without a profile pic or bio, and generally shitposting all over the place, I do a lot of stuff.

Here's me:

As for what I ACTUALLY do, well, there's a lot of that.

I make masks:

And all sorts of other leatherworks:

I also write books, and do digital art as well, even put out a tarot deck with a guidebook that has a full-length queer horror novel in the back:

I do readings from that deck every week, and review moves and sometimes books, and eventually I'll get back to posting more book draft updates over here on my Patreon. A lot of that's free access, if you just want to follow, and almost all of it's available for only 2 bucks a month. Or I've got a Ko-Fi, with zero plans to update it or do anything beyond letting it exist as a support account. I can only do so much, and I'm ALREADY overextended.

I 've also got a merch store- cue one batch of utterly random, weird, and aggressively queer graphic design.

Also, I enjoy self-tattooing and drawing up my own flashwork for it as a hobby, like Destiny 2 and a bunch of horror games, have leftist politics, engage in mutual aid where I can, love watching all sorts of movies, have 2 kids, am poly with a few partners, and am otherwise BUSY.

You can ask questions or send messages, and no I'm not gonna let you do so anonymously- all answers also get posted. Anyways, enough making you scroll, when you're really here for whatever reblog you're trying to find to yell at me about. Carry on.

[weaselandfriends]

Recently finished reading Cleveland Quixotic, so now I have read all six of your stories in the span of like two months. I had a serious illness and had to stay in bed during all that time and you got me through it.

Questions...

Have you read every book referenced in the chapter titles? Have you watched every (real) anime mentioned in in CxC? Have you played Bubsy 3D 2?

Is there any WoG on the connection between Aracely and CM? When reading Chicago, I interpreted CM's wish to mean that "Cely Sosa" was herself, and that Charlie Vizcarra/Clownmuffle were different identities Kyubey had conjured for her after messing with her memories as per her wish. The alternate versions (?) of them in When I Win suggest... I'm not sure. Any comment?

Obligatory who are your biggest artistic influences question.

Especially in terms of tone and thematic focus, you are the bleakest writer I have engaged with that managed not to fall into the trap of numbing misery porn (Berserk, Wildbow, etc). Is something you are conscious of and intentionally try to avoid?

Who is your favorite character, from your own books? Which character do you see yourself as most similar to?

In Modern Cannibals, Graves and Maximillion and Hussie are LITERALLY meant to be the same interconnected entity, right? I was discussing this with a friend who I got to read it, and they agreed that they were meant to be connected as different potential representations of either AH or artists in general, but I read it as them actually being some fantastical unholy trinity monster. The story has a lot of allusions to Catholicism (the game designer in one of his monologues directly compares to his position as an creator as Christ being transmuted and consumed), was wondering if this was as much of an intentional choice as I'm assuming.

Are you ESL? My friend seems to think there are a few minutes "tells" in your work, and if you were that would be the most motivating thing ever for me

Oh boy, a lot to cover here. (I love it, thank you for this ask.)

I've read almost all of the books used as chapter titles. The only chapter titles that come from things I haven't read are:

Magica Madoka Veneficus Puella, from Fargo Ch 38 (This Story's Dead) - I just happened to see the author note blithely describing the story as scrapped and thought that was funny.

To the Stars, from Chicago Ch 24 (To the Stars) - As I mentioned in an old review of To the Stars, I only managed to read about 200,000 words of this nearly 1 million word behemoth.

Dunston Checks In, from Chicago Ch 29 (Dunston Checks In) - I have not seen this movie.

As for the anime in CxC, I've seen most of it. I haven't seen Gabriel DropOut or Himouto! Umaru-chan and I've only seen 8 episodes of Revolutionary Girl Utena before I dropped it. (I have an old ask about Utena where I express my unpopular opinion that I didn't like it, to the dismay of everyone who interacted with the post, but I can't find it anymore.) I'm obsessed with lists, so I have a list of every anime I've seen with a number rating (the Dropped section is also accurate).

I have, in fact, actually played Bubsy 3D 2 (also known as Bubsy 3D: Bubsy Visits the James Turrell Retrospective), and not just seen the Dunkey video from which all the Bubsy 3D 2 chapter titles come from. (Including WIW's chapter title, MEWSEUM.) I've also gone to the Los Angeles County Museum of Art, where Bubsy 3D 2 is set.

Since I keep bringing up Dunkey in this ask, I'll mention that I'm actually in four Dunkey videos. I used to play League of Legends with him in 2012. We even did a group watch of the Disney Channel original movie Don't Look Under the Bed.

2. That's an interpretation I never would have thought of, but it's really cool! (My commenters always seem to have predictions/interpretations I wish I thought of.) My mindset regarding Clownmuffle's wish in Chicago was based on the classic work of horror fiction by RL Stine, Be Careful What You Wish For (Goosebumps #12). In it, the main character, Samantha Byrd, wishes in a fit of rage for her bully/rival "to just disappear." The wish works, but there's a catch - everyone else in the world has disappeared too! Which is just like, okay at that point it's not even be careful what you wish for, you're just making stuff up. At the end of the story, Byrd fixes everything and makes it so her bully/rival gets to make wishes instead. The bully immediately wishes for Byrd to become a real bird, which she does, and nobody else in the world becomes a bird, suggesting the wish woman was just particularly screwing over Byrd for no reason.

Anyway, my mindset was that Charlie and Cely were rivals, and things spiraled out of control, so that Charlie wished for Cely to disappear. What specifically caused them to fall out? I'll leave that open ended.

3. Franz Kafka is my biggest literary influence, though as even just this ask probably reveals, I can take influence from pretty much anything. I'm probably the least Homestuck-esque creator of the many creators influenced by Homestuck, but it was a major influence. The rapper Aesop Rock is another major influence (I'm named after him). Beyond that, pretty much anything I've read or seen might be an influence on me. Cockatiel x Chameleon's two main artistic influences were Lucky Star and the Madoka Rebellion movie, for instance.

4. Honestly, I love bleak misery porn. I love just the most depressing story you can imagine. I love when a story ends and there are maybe 2 characters still alive and they're both generic bureaucrats there just because someone needs to give the final line (like in Hamlet, King Lear, and Akame ga Kill).

Cockatiel x Chameleon is probably the work that most completely realizes my artistic ambitions, and it's no coincidence it's my bleakest and most depressing work. But ordinarily I often feel like I have a duty to achieve some sort of reader satisfaction. I would not consider myself a very indulgent author. I don't know if I could even be one if I tried.

5. My favorite character I've written is Khalid "Lil Cal" Bhandari from Modern Cannibals. I love his role in the story structurally. I love how Z. is so excited to go on this road trip with her friends and then neither of her friends talk to her at all and she winds up talking to this random guy all the time who is introduced as a literal who she has to put up with. I love how he vanishes for half of the story after walking off into the desert and then reappears 50,000 words later to participate in a climactic rap battle. I love his analysis of Malkwon's rap music. He's just a really funny character with a unique role in the story.

The character I'm most similar to is Harper Praise. Cockatiel x Chameleon is my most autobiographical work.

6. I designed Modern Cannibals so that both interpretations would exist simultaneously. They could be different people, or all aspects of the same person (Hussie). Modern Cannibals dwells on questions of identity and people having different faces or sides that are not immediately seen: Not just Maximillion/Ian West, Graves/Hussie, Max/Cosplay Max, but also almost everyone Z. interacts with, who winds up revealing completely new facets of their character in their POV scenes that Z. is totally blind to. This theme of identity works both on the level of Z.'s relationship with her friends, but also on the level of the creator figures' relationship with their audience. It culminates in the final question of the story: Who is speaking the story's final words, Shirou Katsumata the game developer, or his corporate-approved translator?

The identity aspect also translates into a lot of doubles or pairs that are less explicit and more thematic. For instance, each of the three main kids (Z., Kiki, Max) winds up having a "counterpart" in the three main adults (Maximillion, Mitchum, Hussie). The POV chapters are arranged symmetrically around Max's POV chapter as an aspect, with characters either getting a second POV scene in the same position on both sides of the axis (Kiki being the first and last POV scene, Maximillion being the second and second-to-last), or having a different but similar character replace their position on the other side of the axis (for instance, Shirou Katsumata and Andrew Hussie's POV scenes exist in the same position around the axis, prompting comparison of them as creator figures beleaguered by their fanbases). By the end of the story, Z. has seemingly replaced Kiki and Max with Cecily and Maximillion, both of whose names are similar to those of the people they "replace."

So yes, all of these characters who might or might not be the same character were intentionally designed in such a way, and I think that's core to how Modern Cannibals is operating on a thematic level.

7. I am not ESL, sorry. I wonder what those "tells" are...

[secretsnowclub]

I found a weird old Gamecube survival horror game??? Can you help??

I’ve recently started collecting older video games, specifically all the survival horror games that I was too afraid to play as a kid. Now that I’m older and have a salaried job, it’s nice to be able to court that younger version of me and buy all the stuff my family couldn’t afford. Plus the games are fun. Everything from Resident Evil to Rule of Rose, Fatal Frame to Parasite Eve. I love being scared and these games work their hardest to do it and sometimes succeed.

Before I play them, I like to go on youtube and watch retrospectives, reviews, and old ads for them, so I can sort of get settled into the headspace and learn about the creation of them. But there’s one that I’ve stumbled on that I’m unable to find anything about. Almost like it came out of nowhere.

I found this game at a used game, movie, and music store just off the red line in Chicago. It’s called Soul Cemetery for the Gamecube. A survival horror game about a detective returning to their hometown to investigate the mysterious death of her father. It’s very obviously inspired by Resident Evil, featuring the tank controls, fixed camera angles, and similar graphics, not to mention the focus on zombies which wander the town. There’s also some Silent Hill influence with a heavy use of snow (instead of fog) and ambient music throughout. 

It seemed like a very generic sort of game after the opening cinematic and wandering around the opening area, but then it started to reveal itself as something more. The controls were straight forward but also had some interesting things about them. You aim and shoot like in RE, but there’s also a button to “hum,” which makes the detective slow her run to a walk and hum a tune, which changes with each area and sometimes changes within each area depending on exactly where you stand. 

There’s also a dedicated “smoke” button, which plays a unique (albeit short) cutscene where the detective smokes a cigarette and says a little something about the area, or what just happened. It almost feels like the journal mechanic that games like Life is Strange have, where the character recaps the last chapter in their own words, only you get to control when it happens and how often. 

Both of these things kinda took me off guard and drew me into the game in a way I didn’t expect. There are no save rooms or safe rooms like in a lot of survival horror games, so these two things were like getting a break for the spooky scary stuff whenever I needed it, while also getting to hear the thoughts of the character. 

This got kinda freaky when the detective started saying things about me during these moments. The game must read your memory card and system data or something because the further I got into the game, whenever she’d smoke she’d say stuff to me about how late I was up, or about the weather (possibly reading the month??? Idk if Gamecubes have location data). In the light of day these things aren’t that scary ig, but after getting killed by zombies after playing till 4 a.m. it was definitely giving me goosebumps.

It was extra creepy when the detective would do these things without being prompted. The further I got into the game, the more she would indulge in humming or smoking without me pressing the buttons. At first I thought maybe my hand slipped, but no, it’s almost like she has a mind of her own. And these self-indulgent moments were often the scariest.

I played through the entire thing in one sitting, it was maybe 5-6 hours. There were some obvious levels included in a lot of survival horror games, like a spooky motel with zombies, a dark forest with this weird moon spirit creature who is like the main bad guy of the game, and an empty town center where there’s a boss battle. About halfway through, the detective finds herself at her childhood home and that’s when shit really started to freak me out. I don’t know how to explain it other than her house had the same layout as mine? Maybe it’s just a coincidence because the game takes place in an unnamed midwest town, and maybe the houses here are just copy-pasted anyways. But it was spooky. Her living room was my living room, her bedroom was mine, the kitchen was mine. Even the spooky stairway into the basement was in the same place. 

Back in her parents room, her mom is a zombie. There’s no music. Just the looped MP3 of the zombie groans. Whenever you press the button to aim, the detective would hesitate and tell me not to do it. It was only after the mom had attacked and killed me once that I could actually return to the room and shoot the zombie. Immediately after, the detective took control and started humming this really broken, solemn tune. It felt so recognizable but I can’t figure it out. I did my best to record it here:

It’s been stuck in my head ever since.

After the run in with the mom zombie, the detective continues humming that tune, allowing me to walk slowly through the house. I returned to her bedroom and was able to “interact” with her childhood bed. The detective climbs in, the humming breaking up more and more until she falls asleep.

There’s a few esoteric and surreal images that flash on the screen. I didn’t expect them, so I couldn’t take pictures, and when I went and played through the game again, this entire section didn’t happen. Idk if it’s just like the order of events was different, or if it was how I killed the mom or how I explore after? Idk. But the images were these brutal close-ups of the mom zombie. Like, real photos, not just rendered. There were startling, and even if I can’t get them to pop up again, I feel like they’re still fresh in my mind.

The detective wakes up in her childhood bedroom after a second and is different. She’s a child. Her character model is smaller, she doesn't have her gun, and her entire control scheme is different. Most of the buttons are replaced with the “hum” thing, which has her doing that same haunting hum from before. As a child, she can still wander around the rest of the town, and it’s still overrun with zombies, now there’s just noway for her to defend herself.

I felt kind of stuck and frustrated with this as the zombies kept killing me and I didn’t like hearing the MP3 child scream over and over again, so eventually I turned the Gamecube off and on, and when the game loaded up, the detective woke up in her childhood bed as an adult, like none of that stuff happened. I was able to continue the game but was unable to beat the final boss. I think there was something I had to do as a child to be able to? But I don’t know. The game was very confusing at that point and, like I said, when I tried to replay it, the child-thing didn’t even happen. 

I think if the game has a guide or even just, like, any information online I could have made sense of it. It’s a weird take on survival horror that really did get under my skin, I just wish I could finish it, or at least figure out what some of the weird stuff in it was doing or trying to do. If you played this game when you were younger, were there any guides you followed? Or do you remember anything? The only thing I was able to find was a shitty scan of the game manual, but even that I’m having a hard time deciphering…

Any help is appreciated!

[popculturebuffet]

Pirate Month III Finale: Garfield's Halloween Adventure (Here Comes Garfield) (Patreon Review for Emma Fici)

Arrr me hearties and welcome to the FINAL instalment of Pirate Month. I gotta say this may be our best yet: while I had my doubts going in from the weirdness of the wiggles to the heights of pirates 2 this has been a lot of fun and reminded me of the possiblity of this.

Speaking of which we're ending on a high as we return to Here Comes Garfield my look at garfield's career in specials and film. We'll be taking another break next month, like muppet maddness emma's allowed me to be flexible, but rest assured i'm having a lot of fun with these and while I consdiered doing Garfield In Paradise as I wanted some summer fun.. I ultimately couldn't deny what fit here best. Don't worry we have just the right treat for halloween though.. after all halloween's all about putting on another face.. and garfield's had 9.. or shall we say 13.

On that tease for next time, let's talk about the special before us. Garfield's Halloween Adventure is his fourth special, and i'd say one of the most remembered. While Garfield's other holiday specials have failed to catch a ton of attention outside garfield fans and those who grew up with it, Halloween Adventure seems to get talked about more.

It's easy to see why: Halloween Adventure is the best of the three. Christmas is awesome and I talked about why last month, having a ton of heart and a clear perosnal bent from Jim Davis, and Thanksgiving... sure does exist. But Halloween both perfectly fits the season and garfield all at once: it's got all the coziness of halloween from trying on costumes to carving pumpkins to the eerie yet fun atmosphere of trick or treating.. and all teh scares with a few smaller ones spread about, nothing too severe.. and then a spooky enough final act that comes out of nowhere and just.. works. While garfield woudl take a genuine stabs at horror later with a segment in the 9 lives book and a week of strips where he wakes up to find the house long abandoned and john and odie long gone, this is more just some fun. As Davis himself said, it's more a regular garfield story with some scares at the end for four year olds. IT's a fun, breezy specail I can't wait to break down.

We open on a crisp and cozy halloween morning around 5am as we get the debut of a legend: On the TV Binky the Clown wakes Garfield for exercises.

Binky is one of the best garfield recurring characters, played by John's va Thom Huge. While he started here he'd quickly become a key part of garfield and friends when it aried, showing up regularly, having tons of fan support and even making it into the strip

I was also shocked to find when looking him up on the garfield wiki he has his own burger chain binky burger, which seems to show up more than he does

It's also amazing how much of the guy was down from the start: his hammy personality, catchphrase of "HEYYYYYY KIIIIIDDDS", antagonism of Garfield and general obnoxious hostility. Despite not being physically present you can tell WHY Garfield hates this guy most of the time and why Davis and co brought him back for Garfield and Friends. He hasn't been properly brought back since, likely because Thom Huge retired though he did make cameos on products in the garfield movie. He feels like a protypical Krusty the Clown: children's tv host, merchandises himself to hell, has run ins with the main characters but firmly existed before him. I think the creators just had similar childhoods growing up with tv clowns and took them in diffrent directions: Krusty is enthusastic on screen burnt out and kinda sleazzy off while Binky is ALWAYS on, just as much of a dick as krusty but that kind of manic. As seen above in the strip even when he's being a dick it's clear he takes his craft VERY seriously.

So Binky making fat jokes, calling people who don't exercise worthless and generally being the clown prince of dickheads is both deeply entertaning and causes Garfield to change the channel... only to change it back when Binky mentions candy. Garfield's reminded it's halloween and wnats to be in shape to get candy dosen't he.

We launch into our standard Lou Rawls opening number and as usual it's a lot of fun. This is the Night is a fun song about going out to trick or treat. The man never failed to make his song the best minute of the special. And he's got another later lucky us.

So Garfield does what he does best.. harasses john, scaring him so he ends up wearing a pumpkin on his head as is his lot in life. I do like how this special really leans into one of my faviorite aspects: Garfield is more than anything John's spoiled son. The age varies, usually he's a bratty teen but here he comes off more like a big kid, and that sponebobian flexiblity really works for the character. Garfile dhas a blankie and flights of fantasy btu generally just vegges out and spends all johns money. He can be a kid or a teen depending on what joke works better and his status as a cat means which one dosen't firmly matter.

Anyways garfield decides to get candy candy candy, and soon runs into odie who scares him using the same pumpkin what ended up on john. Naturally he dosen't find it amusing. I hadn't noticed before but the first half of this special is a nice slow burn: for the first 2/3 it's just normal garfield stuff but on HALLOWEEN, and the holiday fits him well: it's all about spooky stuff, which he's been shown to love when it's not real as garfield watching late night double features is a recurring thing in the strip, and excess, which is his whole deal.

So to get more of that candy candy candy, Garfield enlists odie, who true to form is too stupid to know wha thalloween is so garfield says dogs help cats get candy candy candy. And just to go ahead and tackle it, Garfile'ds regular increasingly manic shouts of CANDY CANDY CANDY are amazing and a testiament to Lorenzo music's talent

Speaking of testiaments to Lorenzo music's talents, the next musical number, of three is what should I be and it's one of only TWO times Garfield sings in the all 12 specials. And Lorenzo makes a meal of it it's a fun song about how he could be whatever he wants from a "an astronaut a robot a king or a clown or a alien creature going out on the town" with some nicely spooky image of garfield as a vampire bat or a big black halloween cat. It's a fun jaunty number and cute as hell.

Eventually, and the reason why we're here, Garfield settles on pirates. His pillaging John's Lasanga is both predictable and shocking of him to not you know, have some ready. IT's late enough in the characters history he should just accept this is his fate to feed a cat Lasanga and move on with his life.

So with that our heroes head out into the night, and garfield threatens a woman who only gives him one.. and she takes it seriously as garfield won't murder over much, not worth the effort but he will murder anyone in his way of food Jon included. He once strangeled the guy for not getting up to feed him

And that was year one garfield. I'm suprised John's neck isn't in a brace forevermore from that.

So after getting plenty of candy we get our final musical number, as Lou Rawls sings for garfield that the one thing he's not is a scardy cat, my faviorite song of the special. I love his smooth vocals and the sheer weirdness of this section as every trick or treater garfield unmasks, trying to prove to odie it's just kayfabe bro is some sort of monster. I mean come on guys when else are they going to get out and party, get candy or go to an I hate my ex party. Let em have their fun.

So with that Garfield has a scheme as he notices another neighborhood across the river and a small boat and being a pirate decides to set sail. This goes as poorly as you'd expect as they soon get lost.

This is where the last act kicks in and it's a doozy: okay so for the last act the pirate stuff ramps up and it's why I couldnt' resisit including it. while Garfiled wearing a pirate costume is frankly enough to fit pirate month, Wiggles having about 5 minutes of pirate nonsense sure did, it's this last part that made it essential. It's an act dripping with atmosphere gorgeous animation and one creepy old man.

So garfield knocks on a house and decides when he dosen't get an answer to sneak in at night and wreck up the place. Instead turns out there's a person there an old man lit only by fire light alone in a creepy old mansion. Garfield's reactoin is an understandable

But the old man tells them to stay. He's played by tv and film vet C Lindsay Workman who just had a perfectly deep booming voice.

It's here he regails us with a tale: 100 years ago some pirates hid their gold swearing everyone to secrecy.. including a lowly cabin boy

Yup. They vowed to come back in 100 years to get back their gold. And tonight's that night. Garfield decides wisely to RUN RUN BITCH RUN USE ODIE AS A SHIELD RUN but our dynamic duo find the old man stole their boat and now there's a ghost in this home, and it's not better than being a alone. Since this house is haunted and that's not the way tehyw ant it garfield hides but gets found out in a quick gag. The ghosts.. look amazing using rotoscoping to give them this nice pale blue look as they search for their gold. It's a fun tense sequence as our heroes barely escape jumping for it and taking it to the river, dipping in the water.. only for Garfield to realize he can't swim. Sadly he hadn't learned a crucial fact just yet he'd learn later that year.

Thankfully odie has the strength of a mack truck and lifts him. We get a genuinely touching ending too: the pirates get their gold.. and Garfield, in a move he FULLY admits is out of character and casues him some pain... gives Odie his fair share of their candy, as the old man left it behind.. either after the pirates murdered him or he retreated back into the depths of hell.. or into a hosting gig s he's later shown hosting a pirate movie marathon.

And so with that button Pirate Month ends and so does this special. Halloween Adventure is possibly the best garfield specail, only slightly behind babes and bullets, a fun heartfelt and breezy thrill ride that gets halloween and garfield just right while throwing one small bit of heart in at the end that works. IT's funny, spooky and good stuff

Ranking wise...

Next Time: With this gone and september off what will we do for the actual halloween? Well as I hinted when you've got 9 lives you've got nine ways to loose as we look at BOTH major versions of garfield's nine lives: the original book and it's special adaptation.

[davidwarnercorner]

Hostile Takeover (1988), starring David Warner, Kate Vernon, Michael Ironside, Jayne Eastwood, and Will Lyman (Youtube Link).

This is the first obscure David Warner movie I'm reviewing! Not the first one I've watched, but the one that made the biggest impression on me so far. I genuinely liked it and would recommend it (the only downside is that the only versions I can find online are VHS rips with not the highest video quality).

The premise: Eugene Brackin (David Warner), a disaffected, repressed office worker at a local power plant, takes three of his coworkers—Larry Gaylord (Michael Ironside), Sally Laird (Kate Vernon), and Joan Talmudge (Jayne Eastwood)—hostage, but makes no specific demands. Outside, local police chief Smolen (Will Lyman) tries to diffuse the situation without resorting to violence.

The sets are limited: most of the action takes place either in the office or just outside of it (it would probably make for a good stage adaption). Hostile Takeover is a character driven story about what it takes for someone to crack and what happens when they do. It engages with ideas about modernity, alienation, and longing; interwoven throughout are references to the T.S. Eliot poems "The Hollow Men" and "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" (and maybe others that I didn't pick up on). Whatever you make of it, this movie was trying to say something about modern life.

(More under the cut because this gets long. Spoilers below.)

Reviews

Reviews for Hostile Takeover are mixed, but I'm going to defend it a bit. Is it a perfect movie? No. But I think the experience suffers if you come into it with the idea that this is a true horror film, when really it's a psychological thriller. There are two brief scenes where there's a lot of dramatic blood, but those make up maybe half a minute of the total 90. There are tense, suspenseful moments, but I'm quite a coward when it comes to horror and this didn't bother me.

A lot of other online reviews call it a "Thanksgiving horror movie," and I'm not sure how this category got attached to it. It came out in December 1988, so it can't be based on release date, and Thanksgiving is never mentioned, we only see that it's autumn. Maybe it's because the movie was released in some countries under the title Office Party and the fact that it starts on a day when people would normally be out of office, like for a holiday (admittedly, I thought it was just a weekend).

Characters

All the central characters in this are interesting in their own ways and get their own moments of backstory, but the ones I want to talk about most are Eugene, Sally, and Smolen.

Eugene - a man who is frustrated enough to take his coworkers hostage but also polite enough to demand that the police bring dinner for them and repeatedly says he doesn't want to actually hurt anyone. David excels at playing characters that are a bit angsty and not quite satisfied with themselves, and Eugene fits that mold.

We're never explicitly told why he did what he did, but it's not that hard to infer. Eugene is a shy middle-aged man who lives alone in a tiny apartment, has nothing better to do than come in to his meager-paying job on an off day, and is maybe a little infatuated with his younger female coworker but is too restrained (and too self-conscious?) to pursue her even when she shows interest. He seemingly followed the "right" path for the 20th-century man and yet still feels his life is hollow. He insists that he's not a crazy, "psycho-type," he only wants to be perceived that way so he'll be sent to a hospital in the end, presumably because he wants to escape it all.

I wouldn't pick up a gun about it, but I can understand his despair. The loneliness and alienation he feels (and, on the other hand, the obsession some of his other coworkers have with money and power) are predictable side effects of the capitalist hellscape we live in.

...Moving away from that, let's talk about how hot David is in this. Some of that may be down to my personal preferences: I'm a sucker for stressed-out businessmen and the role that made me notice him for the first time was Sark/Ed Dillinger in TRON. But here...the suspenders with the gun holster. Him walking around with his tie loose. Being 1988, he'd started going grey and late 80s-early 90s David is peak dilf for me, the silver streaks in his bangs and at the temples make me feral. It's no wonder the next character, Sally, wanted him.

Sally - some Letterboxd reviews were very negative to Sally, saying that she's actually the most unsympathetic character and that she manipulates and seduces Eugene. I disagree, though I may be biased because if I were in her situation, I'd probably (want to) act the same. Textually, though, I think there is some support for my interpretation.

In her introductory scene, we see her walk into the office and immediately flirt with him. It didn't seem like she was doing it to mock him—she's also the only one (I think?) to call him "Gene" instead of his full name, which implies some fondness. We later learn that Sally is attracted to power, and she comments about how powerful Eugene is in his newfound position as hostage-taker, but let's remember that she was interested in him from her first scene, before there was any hint of anything being different that day. We also see that she previously attempted to "sleep her way to the top," but that it didn't work for her and she's bitter about the whole thing.

People also seem to think her affection towards him was just in service of self-preservation, but by the end she doesn't even seem to care about that anymore. She says to him, "you can still get away if you use me as a shield...you're loving and honest and kind, you don't have to die for this, Gene!". You could argue it's some kind of Stockholm Syndrome situation, but imo she seems to be basing this on experience beyond just the last two days spent in the office.

Also, like, is it really so hard to believe that she might genuinely be into him? Some people are just into dilfs and that's okay! It's normal! Us dilf-fuckers deserve the representation and Sally is great! She hates her asshole boss and wants the old man dick, she's just like me fr.

Unfortunately (spoilers), she doesn't get her tropical beach vacation ending with Gene and instead has to watch him die. And she'll have to live with that memory. It's all the more tragic because there are hints that their relationship could have worked if they had been able to open up to each other under different circumstances. As Smolen says, "what a fuckin' waste."

Smolen - there's more to this guy than initially meets the eye. He looks like the total opposite of Eugene, a stereotypical jock, but as the story progresses, parallels are drawn between the two. Someone even accuses him of holding the rest of the police force hostage because he won't let them go in guns blazing. He also takes the time to try to understand Eugene; he's the one who figures out the poetry connection. Eventually (spoilers), he ends up being the one to kill him and, though this is probably an artifact of the bad VHS quality, it looked like there was a trickle of blood running down his own forehead. In the end, both of them were forced into violence they didn't want.

Connections

Random connections I made while watching the movie, kind of like a trivia/fun facts section I guess?

Eugene reminded me a lot of D.B. Cooper. All these years later, we still don't know who he really was or why he hijacked that 727 on Nov. 24, 1971 (now that'd be a Thanksgiving movie!). What we do know was that he was middle-aged, polite to the crew, and had an unspecified "grudge."

One of the T.S. Eliot poems the movie references is "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock," a stanza of which goes like this:

No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be; Am an attendant lord, one that will do To swell a progress, start a scene or two, Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool, Deferential, glad to be of use, Politic, cautious, and meticulous; Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse; At times, indeed, almost ridiculous— Almost, at times, the Fool.

This part is not quoted in the movie, but it hit me kind of hard considering this context: David played Hamlet on stage in 1965, but it'd been almost 25 years since then when Hostile Takeover was made, and he was in the middle of being in a bunch of random B-movies. It also makes me think of when he was asked, around the time TRON came out, about playing so many villain roles and what he'd like to be in next, and he said something like "I'd like a romantic comedy." And then he...didn't get that? Ever? At least not as a lead. I...yeah. He does at least get the girl in this one! Briefly!

Conclusion

Should you watch this movie if you're a David Warner liker? Definitely. Should you watch this movie otherwise? At least give it a try. I didn't know where else to mention it but the soundtrack also stood out to me, it's very 80s but still good. The way they incorporated the popping and clanging sounds the heaters inside the building make into the music...banger.

I'll be posting some gifs from the movie soon. If you do watch this, or have watched it, please let me know what you thought....am I getting it all wrong? Are you team Sally?

Youtube Link Here. This is to a different or upscaled version than the one I watched. I only found it after I took all the screenshots and did all the gifs. My loss is your gain...?

[krudy7kk]

Analysis of Spirealm's ending

Never posted anything on my tumblr but I have the most unholy Spirealm brainrot rn so I'm posting my analysis of Spirealm's ending. The preface, a lot of people interpreted the ending of Spirealm as depressing and the series to be very tragic overall, but, I feel like the ending is mostly happy, and here's why;

Crossposted on MDL as a review

Heavy Spoilers

Spirealm ended with seemingly “it was all a dream” type of ending but my interpretation of the ending was that Lin Jiu Shi , through the act of completing the game, “saved” the game as his childhood friend intended. “Saving” the game in this scenario, reverts all the tragedy the game has caused without erasing anything that’s happened… kind of. The way the story goes about it is a little convoluded but through picking up the themes of this story, is not indecipherable. 

Proving that the game did all happen; there are three main points that infers this. The first, most tangible point is that, at the end of the series, LJS wakes up in the middle of the traffic. Assuming everything that’s happened after the traffic accident at the end of the series was dreamt up, it does not explain why the internet cafe boss at the beginning of the series– who’s seen the game before the traffic accident– has no recollection of LJS having played the game. The second point, if everything in the game had not happened, it would make no sense for LJS to accurately know the name of people he’s never met before. The third point, which is the most confusing one, explains one of the main themes and why the director probably chose to take this route. 

One of the main themes of Spirealm is the legitimacy of the “virtual world”, where the characters have debated multiple times if everything that happens “virtually” in the game is real or not. I forgot which episode it was but, LJS in the latter part of the series pondered “If the feelings in Spirealm are more sincere than real life, what really is the difference between virtual and reality?” ( Also not a direct translation, I’m too lazy to go find the exact episode and translate it) The point of this quote is, even if the memories don’t exist anymore, the feelings and relationships that were formed during the time in Spirealm were “real” and sincere. We can see this through the way Chen Qian Li fhaving familiarity towards LJS at the end of the series, despite acknowledging that he doesn’t actually know him. This is a little more debatable but you could also argue that the differences between the depiction of the people around LJS before and after he woke up also shows the effects of the game. One could interpret Tan Zao Zao being an influencer instead of an actress as something unconsciously influenced by the events of Spirealm. While being in Spirealm, TZZ felt like she constantly had to mask herself as an actress, you could argue that her being a influencer instead of an actress in the new world as a choice she made unconsciously due to the feelings of restriction she’s felt in Spirealm. Same with instances like Chen Yi Xie watching horror movies as a hobby and Li Dong Yuan being content working as a street vendor that makes little money.

In the last scene of the show, when LJS goes back into Spirealm, he sees TZZ where she tells him “it feels like I woke up from a long dream”, referring to life outside of the game. This further emphasizes how the game is actually “real” too, since when LJS is outside Spirealm, Spirealm is referred to as a “dream”. Whichever reality they are in is the real one, so by proxy, they are both real.

Another point to consider is the relationship between LJS and RNZ. If everything was a dream, then essentially, LJS dreamed up a lifelong companion (boyfriend) in elaborate detail seemingly out of nowhere… It makes more sense if RNZ did exist, but was simply erased from existence due to the game also having been erased. The whole last arc of the story also repeatedly states that he would be erased once the 11th door was complete.

The game bringing people back to life, erasing everyone’s memory, and altering reality also seems entirely reasonable when the whole basis of the game is based on its ability to kill people and warp time. Realistically speaking, there was no real way to depict RNZ and LJS saving the game besides erasing the game completely, therefore, the erasure of everyone’s memory and the game’s existence is the intended effect of “saving the game”.

I also believe that LJS reprogramming the game essentially is the equivalent of him fulfilling his friend's wish of  “restoring the game to its original state” as the game he ended up recreating was essentially the original intended game. 

I believe that the ending of Spirealm was the perfect happy ending, Everyone is alive again, they get to live their life to the fullest, and in the end, LJS finishes the game where he likely decides is his new “reality” with RNZ. They all live together happily as Chen Qian Li wished for in the 11th door. This is the 12th door, LJS’s completed door of happiness.

That’s mostly all I wanted to say, I’ll probably rewatch the series when Subs (that are comprehensible) come out so I can make exact quotations and give actual episode numbers (plus there are probably more things I have missed). But for now that’s all I’ve wanted to say. I’m open to debate the ending since I feel like the ending was definitely left a little ambiguous but I feel like a lot of these things were changed from the novel with the intent of creating this ending specifically. (ex. Slight novel spoiler: TZZ being a famous and acclaimed actress in the Novel while being mildly unpopular in the series) 

Add my discord if you want to talk about this show with me, it lives in my head rent free: krudy7kk

TLDR: Spirealm was not a dream, everything that happened got erased due to LJS completing the game. Everyone gets transported into an altered reality where they are living their happiest lives (indirectly bc of games events) and LJS reunites with everyone towards the very very end where they all live peacefully together.

[agentnico]

Speak No Evil (2024) review

Right, so I did not realise I needed James McAvoy singing ‘Eternal Flame’ in an unsettling voice whilst starring intently into my eyes in my life yet here we are. Mr Tumnus for the win!

Plot: A dream holiday turns into a living nightmare when an American couple and their daughter spend the weekend at a British family's idyllic country estate.

Based on a Danish horror film of the same name, which I have not watched to avoid a sense of bias, or the more truthful reason being that I simply couldn’t make the deserved effort, the Hollywood remake machine is back at it again with Speak No Evil, a psychological thriller courtesy of the folks from Blumhouse, a production company who’s model is to produce films on a small budget, and give directors creative freedom whilst still release films widely through the studio system. Essentially a studio that pioneers for artistic freedom, so always good to support these types of films. That being said, Blumhouse has lost a bit of its reliably unique flair with it being a while since they’ve had their last solid hit, but I’m always happy to give them a go.

In cometh Speak No Evil, a film which Universal marketed so hard I’ve seen the trailer for it maybe 352 times? Look, whatever sells the tickets I guess, but last time a trailer has been shoved in the audience’s faces so much was Argylle, and we all know how well that movie performed. NOT! Anyway, does Speak No Evil deliver the scares? Well… kind of. It’s borderline a comedy. For there is a lot of funny moments throughout (not sorely caused by McAvoy belting out Eternal Flame, but again - huge win!), but more so in how the movie challenges the ideologies of good manners. I myself got married a few days ago, and in my wedding speech I spoke about how us Eastern Europeans lack a sense of good manners, for we act how we feel, so hardly ever smile and can often come off as straight up rude. Well not myself personally, I feel like I am truly a delightful human being (and humble too!), but folks from culture. However marrying a British woman, Brits are always the high level of well mannered etiquette, and truly in the UK everyone always smiles, says “please” and “thank you”, even if on their mind they may secretly be calling you the C-bomb. So in Speak No Evil this aspect plays a huge part, with the main couple being too well mannered and polite to say anything, and as such allowing the other crazy couple to get away with some mad stuff. As such, this movie is more of a comedy of manners, with only the last 30 minutes embracing its true thriller roots, and even then, it’s not scary at all.

I’m not going to lie, I found this film to be very goofy. The humour of the cultural differences was amusing, but when the final act co es where it’s supposed fully take on the horror element, I never felt remotely concerned or worried about any of the characters. There was such a lack of tension due to the poor directing and a script that seemingly has a message but does not know how to bring it home. After watching the film, I read up about the original Danish version and it’s more messed up darker ending, and immediately realised what the issue with the new 2024 remake was - it’s been given the classic Hollywood ending. You know, the typical no matter how terrible the scenario gets, all characters will find a way out eventually no matter what. As such, Speak No Evil has no gravitas or sense of terror to it. It’s a thriller that had a fun concept which goes nowhere,

The one aspect of Speak No Evil that does work is James McAvoy. Following on from showcasing his psychopathic talents in Shyamalan’s Split and Glass, McAvoy fully embraces the crazy unhinged nature of his character, which results in a fully mad performance, but one that truly carries the film, and is consistently entertaining. From bloodshot red rolling eyes, to his impressive henchman physique, to ‘Eternal Flame’, McAvoy throws himself into this role and is endlessly watchable. In fact his acting almost makes this movie worth watching. Almost. But no, this is a typical throwaway Hollywood remake that is just so silly and uninspired.

Overall score: 4/10

[oonajaeadira]

people i want to get to know better

Aw, @ace-turned-confused! Thank you for the tag!!!

last song: Pleasant Valley Sunday by The Monkees. I dunno, it got stuck in my head the other day and I haven't listened to it in years.

favourite colour: lemon yellow

currently watching: I started watching My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, while I'm cleaning or crafting, so I'm not way into it.

last movie: The Craft. Tis the season where horror films get played pretty much constantly in our house and I came home to find the SO watching it for the first time in his life and I was like how. How is this the first time. You are kidding me. And he was like, now I understand why girls who grew up in the 90s are all into witchy shit. And I'm like, listen. Witchy shit was cool before The Craft and waaaayyyyyy after it. You do not get to base your judgments on my choice of decor and orientation just because Faruzia Balk is a psychotic hotsauce. Witch Girl Autumn predated The Craft. The Craft was made BECAUSE of Witch Girl Autumn. Also, because Satanic Panic backlash and nth wave feminism and because it was written and directed and produced by men that wanted to "explore young female sexuality" like that wasn't a weird thing to say in your making of video, but that's another debate for another day. Oh, also, they cut out a lot of said sexuality to get a PG rating, but every cut they sent kept coming back PG13 and the director's like why and the review board (which always has a priest, a rabbi, and a minister on it like a damn joke) deemed it PG13 not for swears or boobies, but because it was about witches. So yeah.

current obsessions: Boiled egg on nine-grain bread with mustard dill sauce. Sibyls. The Chaldean Mysteries. Trying to beat off Acacius with a stick until November. Planning 2025 vacations. Halloween gear at Target, Michaels, Spirit Halloween, Marshalls. Sir Gortimer Donut von Doorhinge. Pedro Pascal's arms. Pedro Pascal's beard. Pedro Pascal's smile. Pedro Pascal's curls.

relationship status: LTR

last thing i googled: "how do I find my viewing history on Disney+" The answer is...you don't.

Tagging: @galaxyedging @prolix-yuy @stealyourblorbos @littlemisspascal @blueeyesatnight

[ruruumin]

Hi Kiri! I hope you've been well these days, and also I love all of your masterpieces! Can I send a request where reader were getting jumpscare while watching horror movie together with Kazuha? Thank you and feel free to ignore if you don't like this request 🙏

₊˚ ᗢ kazuha x gn! reader, modern au.

⤷ what is he like, when watching horror movies?

When it comes to watching movies, the last thing you could expect is Kazuha at the front of your door. He smiled at you as he lifted a few copies of popular horror movies, with the other hand carrying a bag of take-out food. Your favorite take-out food. The one that you and he always get after classes. Or the one you always talk about going to whenever you’re hungry. Whatever it is, he has it. And it’s also been on his mind to watch a few movies with you. 

He’s always been a sucker for adventure movies. The kinds with the cheesy plot twists but amazing fight scenes. Maybe that’s why he’s so adamant about having you watch all the Dwayne the Rock Johnson movies with him last summer. Tomo dropped out after watching his third Fast n Furious movie, Heizou couldn’t stomach the cheesiness that came from a few of his older films (however he had to applaud his role in Central Intelligence), and Scaramouche gave up after watching Toothfairy (Kazuha called him a wimp under his breath). 

He’s not one for slashers because he thinks the art of gore has been pushed too far to enjoy. Watching Terrifier 1 and 2 left him with a bad taste in his mouth. How could you stomach all of that excessive violence? It takes someone with an iron gut just to sit through the first 10 minutes of the movie. It’s not to say he doesn’t like horror. The only slasher he liked was the Fear Street trilogy, and he can appreciate the classics like The Conjuring.

One thing is consistent though: Kazuha chooses the weirdest films. Not entirely weird, per se, but he has some questionable choices. He always finds good movies. He also finds the worst ones. He has with him Ethan Hawke’s Black Phone, The Taking of Deborah Logan, and Winnie the Pooh's Blood and Honey. Why does he even have the last one? He shrugged and placed the take-out food on your coffee table, saying it sounded funny. 

He doesn’t get scared when he watches these films. Mostly because you know in his head, he’s most likely thinking about what goes on behind the scenes. How did they shoot this shot? How many hours did the actors spend on makeup? Why is Winnie the Pooh such a god-awful movie? Who approved of this? 

You try not to giggle when you see him intensely staring at certain scenes, his hand covering the lower half of his face as he squints his eyes. He’s focused on analyzing every part of this movie. It’s a cute habit. He loves to rave about his favorite movies (even to the point of calling you after leaving the theater to give you his review). 

When you get to parts where the scenes grow dark, and there's that unsteady playing of the violin, he wraps his arm around your waist, pulling you to his side. He nibbles on the tip of his thumb, his fingers padding against you as he holds back a small gasp. He’s not a screamer but he’s certainly the kind that flinches at jumpscares. He’s also a lot more touchy when you watch horror movies. Whether or not it’s because he’s scared or just looking for an excuse to hang onto you is up for debate. 

If you are scared by the movie, he would tighten his hold around you, peering down at you with a cheeky smile. He would tease you for a little bit before resting his head against yours, pressing a short kiss on your crown. He’ll put both arms around you this time, holding you tight as the movie continues. When things get a little too intense, or too gory, he will place his hand over your eyes, whispering a few of his poetry to distract you from the sound of a chainsaw. 

“Why is Winnie the Pooh covered in honey, but at the same time, is starving?” He mumbles, narrowing his eyes at the screen. “What is going on in this movie? Do you like this?” “You’re the one who chose the movie…” 

[bibliophile-in-training]

A Plebian's Review of the Last Voyage of the Demeter

I don't do reviews normally but I have many thoughts I wanted to share after recently watching this movie. In general, I did enjoy this movie and I thought it was a fun watch. As someone who read Dracula and enjoys most modern Dracula stories I would watch it again if it came on. (6/10)

Non-spoilers:

It took some liberties with the source material. Combine the recent Poirot movies with modern vampire lore and that's what you should expect, not something strictly adhering to the novel. Not necessarily a bad thing, but if you're enjoying dracula daily just know this isn't really that.

On that note, Dracula bibliophiles aside, it's a pretty good movie on its own. It's suited for modern audiences and won't confuse them with Stoker's vampire lore (ex. what can and can't kill a vampire, what powers Dracula has).

It had pretty gory moments that you may not be prepared for if slasher movies aren't something you watch. Also, check out doesthedogdie bc there are a lot of potential triggers.

The lighting for this movie was really good imo. There was a strong contrast between day and night which awesome, but you could also still actually see what was going on in the dark. There were a couple times when Dracula was in a shadow and you couldn't really see him but it was for effect as opposed to trying to be "realistic" (looking at you, GOT).

The design for Dracula was cool and they do play into him getting stronger and scarier as he continuously feeds.

The Captain is not the main character (in contrast to the source material's Captain's log). Here, it's Dr Clemens we follow and we get an occasional Caltain's narration from the log.

If you like Until Dawn and other titles from Supermassive Games, you'd probably enjoy it. Dracula's design, the kills, and character choices feel like you're watching a playthrough. Not to mention there are a lot of close-up shots of characters in the same way Supermassive Games does.

Spoilers under the cut:

The Good:

The cinematography was pretty good. I particularly liked shots that followed through the ship to the cargo hold where count bat boi was sleeping.

They also filmed the gory scenes really well, and one scene that stood out was when one person who's become a thrall bashes his head through a door and then slides his nose along the splintered panels as he looks up. Impactful to say the least. They didn't pan away and leave it up to our imaginations but went all in and I applaud it.

Things were recognizable from the novel (names, events, some vampire mythos). I was genuinely surprised that they marked Dracula's coffins with dragons and kept that he slept in dirt, since modern audiences probably wouldn't have known about these things. When we (modern audiences) hear "Dracula" we think it means "vampire" as opposed to "dragon", and we would likely expect Dracula's cargo to be velvet-lined coffins.

The opening scene (finding the ship at Whitby & the wagon train of the coffins) had me immediately invested and excited, and I was already looking forward to this movie (I chose it over Barbie lol).

The Captain's actor was phenomenal. He went all out when he was grieving Toby's death and he really didn't have to but I'm so glad he did. While the character itself wasn't consistent, the actor made it believable. He was strict and kind when he was sane, he was frantic and distraught when he was insane, and his moments of grief and hope were all palpable. Good choice.

"Oh my God it has wings" When I say I LAUGHED SO HARD

Honestly there were a lot of funny moments. Some were genuine to cut the tension and help build characters but being ND and desensitized to horror I don't know if I was supposed to laugh at some of them, like when the cook's dingy knocked against the side of the hull. And when vampire Toby jumped up.

The use of knocking was a cool addition. I enjoyed when they used it like when Toby was in trouble and when Dracula was messing with the two dudes on deck.

One of the key things of Dracula's personality is that yes - he can kill you in 10s - but he won't because he's a sadistic bastard that enjoys drawing it out and playing the wager to see if you'll die of fear before he can bite you. They absolutely captured it. Homie is purposeful in how he terrifies his victims before giving them a gruesome death.

I think the model ship they showed at the end was the original model ship for the Demeter in the 90's Dracula movie (or at least a nod to it), which is how this movie was started apparently. Nice touch.

The Grievances:

Dr Clemens was a mary sue. I'm sorry, there's no way around this. Man has bad main character syndrome. I can accept a black man fighting tooth and nail to graduate Cambridge top of his class and struggle in a world that won't see his abilities because they won't look past his skin color, but on top of that he's an astronomer, a sailer, a strategist, a detective, and everyone immediately falls in love with him? Hell, he cured Toby's [1] grief over losing his lifelong friend (Huck, the dog, who was MUTILATED) and [2] guilt for all the animals dying because it was his responsibility to take care of him, and [3] fear for whatever unknown thing did this, with a headpat and "sometimes shit happens and you can't do anything about it".

He took one look at Anna, Dracula's beef jerky ration, and immediately went "she has an infection, she needs a blood transfusion", then proceeded to give her repeated transfusions over several days and he was totally fine. Up running around and fighting vampires meanwhile in reality he would have been bedridden from lack of blood and possible complications from the procedures.

Also, why is he the only clean person? Everyone's covered in grime and blood and dude looks like he just walked out of a proactive commercial. Even when he's floating in the middle of the ocean for days with an open neck wound he looks like he was just in the shower. Compare it with the Captain's burns and the first thrall's face after banging the through a door and the dissonance just pulls me out of the movie.

Keeping him alive just to sequel bait. Just. Why. Hollywood, it's okay to kill your protagonist. 1912 did it really well. Plus, I personally wasn't invested enough in this character to want to see a sequel following his vendetta with Dracula. We already know about Jonathan and Van Helsing. You can make movies that stand alone. It's okay.

If you want to sequel bait why don't you have him delirious from being lost at sea for several days and end up at the asylum with Dr Seward and Renfield? That would actually be cool and you could still have Dracula show up to taunt him.

Also, in regards to Anna, while I think it was a cool idea to use her for lore dumping and as a surprise for the audience, I was disappointed with her. She had the potential to provide a lot of info and help fight Dracula but instead she had to be the "strong independent woman". I don't hate this trope (think about Ripley in Alien, or any of the women in the original novel) but it wasn't done well here. While it's cool to see her gain confidence and wield a gun against count bat boi I was really hoping she would provide more info like his weaknesses. She says "he ran out of food in my country" but we know this isn't *literally* true because we see people at the beginning. It's the fact her people knew how to keep Dracula away that he ran out of food and he decided to try greener pastures. You could bring up HOW they did that (religious tokens, garlic, silver, etc.).

Also when she does try to give info about Dracula it's still vague and meant to be mysterious. Bruh, you are locked on a boat with this monster and you know your only hope for survival is to flee or work together to get rid of him. Why are you not giving as much info and details as possible? Because that's what the script said bc the writers wanted to make dracula look cool by relying on the characters to say it? Okay.

This movie relies on a lot of telling instead of showing. It's like they don't trust their audience to pay attention or understand what's going on. The only time I legit felt they showed and not told (lol) was when the Captain asked if what happened to the animals could be transmitted to humans and Dr Clemens lied and said no. You could see in the actor's face the inner monologue of telling the truth vs preventing chaos. It was nice and gave more info about the character than him actually yelling his life history at the first mate.

It also suffers from the writers trying to make every scene be memorable. There are too many times characters say things because it sounds cool or would be good in the trailer rather than because it makes sense for the character to say that.

Honestly all the characters fall flat for me (besides the captain who's character is treated like a pinball). They're all archetypes rather than people. The protagonist. The independent woman. The racist drunkard. The child. The religious guy. The guy that makes obscene jokes. The only names I know are Toby, Dr Clemens, and Anna. Bc they get said a lot as opposed to me actually caring about them.

On that note, I am definitely biased because I loved the Captain's log from the novel, but I wish that this was from the Captain's pov, culminating in him tying himself to the wheel and dying from shock or exposure like in the book. Then Whitby.

On that note, I am still upset that they used modern vampire mythos yet again for Dracula. In the book the Captain dies after being taunted for days by Dracula after tying himself to the wheel, only possible because the rosary in his hand protects him. It's a noble but horrific sacrifice made of fear and a duty to not let the evil on the ship reach land. In this movie, however, he reaches the wheel and dies because the rosary has no power over Dracula (it's also how Toby dies).

Oh, also the sun kills vampires. How do we know? Because occasionally some people turn into vampires, but only when it's convenient for the plot (looking at you, Anna). Why don't they use this against Dracula and dump the dirt box they know he's sleeping in during the day? Who knows. But they wasted a lot of potential to play on the audience's expectations (rather than giving into them) by using Dracula during the day. Y'know what's scarier than a vampire picking off your crew at night? A vampire picking off your crew at ANY time when you only expect it at night because SURPRISE sunlight just doesn't let him crawl in lizard fashion.

Are you seriously telling me Dracula sustained himself off of Anna for several weeks, and then decided to slaughter the crew mere days before the boat docked? Yes, he was weak bc of it but I don't think the director knows how blood works (see Dr Clemens's transfusion issue). Also, if that's the case, how did Anna not suffocate in her dirt box for hours on end for weeks? Just fill the other 48 crates with dead people and say Anna was the last caprisun in the box and it would make more sense.

Also, why have their last hurrah be the day before they reach Whitby? It made the movie seem too fast; it felt like it only took a week to get from Transylvania to England. Why not find Anna early on, then disperse the crew member deaths across a couple weeks like in the novel? It would help with the suspense and you could have the Captain tie himself to the wheel then let us experience the time passing after he dies so the audience has a moment to sit with the deaths and feel hopeless. Bc that's what the role of the Demeter is, story-wise. It's supposed to make us afraid of Dracula and feel hopeless in his presence. Not give us hope and make him into our rival we have the possibility to get revenge on. That's what our dear friend Jonathan is for.

Dracula never takes human form. Why do all adaptations refuse to give him his bushy mustache? COWARDS.

Okay, he *sort of* takes human form. But they really just put him in a waistcoat and top hat then expected us to believe that showed he was cunning. You literally said he's both man and beast then only show the beast. One of Dracula's main appeal is that he's clever and his sadistically human traits are the only thing preventing him from immediately ripping you to shreds. And he can pass as human, so he could be anyone. Yet we only see the beast part.

While this movie was fun to watch, it comes off more as a gruesome drama or action movie than a horror. I never really feel any suspense or dread. Compare it to Alien which had the same situation. Alien did such a good job of making you feel scared and claustrophobic when you're surrounded by the vastness of space (in this case, the ocean) and being hunted down by an intelligent monster. I was watching this to see how Dracula killed people rather than seeing how they struggled to survive.

I can believe this movie was in production hell not just because of the writing but some errors. In one scene, the Captain's burn is on the right side of his face but there's a close-up cut and suddenly it's on the left side like someone flipped the screen. And this is just one error out of a couple. No Starbucks cups tho.

It sounds like I don't like this movie because of all of my nit-picking grievances, but I really did like it. I think my issues are just because my expectations were too high going in. I was expecting a loyal expansion of an underappreciated segment of a classic novel, which is really rare these days. And a *suspenseful* horror.

I see why Guillermo del Toro and Stephen King suggested it. It's pretty similar to their stuff, just more fast-paced. So if you like that stuff and Until Dawn I think you'll really enjoy it.

[wutheringmights]

hi! i’ve read in the dream house and speak bc of your reviews and Loved them. i find your analyses to be really insightful, i trust that when you recommend something theres Something of value i’ll get out of reading it. are there any books you’ve loved that you haven’t posted abt here yet? and how do you find new books to read? thanks for being so thoughtful abt your own writing and the books you read that it inspires me to study and improve my own work 🫡💞

Aw thank you! I always feel like I am yelling into the void whenever I make posts about the things I'm reading, so I'm glad you enjoy reading my thoughts <3

For books I haven't posted about yet... I just finished Juniper & Thorn by Ava Reid (and will make a post about it soon). It's not a perfect read, but if you like horror and fairytale tropes, you'll get something about this.

Besides that, I recommend The Bell Jar by Slyvia Plath, and the works of Robert Cormier (I Am the Cheese and The Chocolate Wars are two of my favorites). If you like war stories, All Quiet On the Western Front by Erich Maria Remarque is required reading.

I really enjoy the works of Octavia Butler. Kindred is my absolute favorite, but Parable of the Sower is very relevant to the current political moment. Future Home of the Living God by Louise Erdrich also scarred the fuck out of me, but is a great work on reproductive rights.

I did an entire seminar on Virginia Woolf. Besides Mrs. Dalloway, I think Into the Lighthouse and Orlando are very good.

For the classics, I love Mary Shelley's Frankenstein. One of the first classics I ever fell in love with was Charles Dickens' A Tale of Two Cities, though Great Expectations is also exceptional.

One of my favorite books of all time that I never discuss with anyone anywhere is Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov, for obvious reasons. Read this book for two reasons. One, it will fuck you up. Nabokov's work with perspective and unreliable narrators is fucking insane. Second, Nabokov does something with the English language that I have never seen before and will probably never see again. If anyone has a command of the English language, it's him.

How do I find books to read? Some of the books I read before they are recommended to me by friends or by someone online. As long as you avoid romance/romantasy, BookTok/BookTube/Bookblr is a great place to get recs. I watch a lot of CariCanRead on Youtube because she reads a massive amount of books I have never heard of and is generally really honest about what books she liked/hated and why. I also windowshop at bookstores and libraries and just check out what is available on the shelves.

Honestly, the best advice I can give you is to let go of the idea of every book being impeccable art. You do not have to always be reading the Great American Novel. You can read books that are silly and outright trash. Once you shed the idea that books are some higher form of art, you remember that they are made to be entertainment. Like movies, there are going to be days where you want to watch post-modern French films or Oscar-winning movies about the turn of the century. There are also going to be days where you want to watch a silly comedy, or a trashy reality TV show, or you just go to the movies for something to do.

It's healthier for you if not every book is life changing. I have read some really bad books (some on purpose), and I have read some books that were just aggressively mediocre. Even if they didn't transform me into a better writer/reader/person, they were still worth reading. And when you give yourself permission to read books you might not necessarily like, it gets easier to try new genres and take risks on unfamiliar works. That's where you get new experiences. That's where a book sneaks up on you and smacks you on the back of the head with something that will absolutely make you change the way you see the world.

If anything, just try reading things you normally wouldn't read, be it sci-fi, memoir, historical epic, classic romance, etc.

[silver-stargazing]

Epilepticon Movie Marathon Anniversary

This is technically the 5th Anniversary of me going through and reviewing epilepsy media and, having accumulated 35 different films, I wanted to highlight 5 favorite films that I've covered. Cheers and here's to more marathons and for better rep overall!

The Sacred Disease (2016)

[Image ID: Angie from The Sacred Disease. She is a young woman with short blonde hair. She has several electrodes attached to her head and is staring off with a vacant expression. /end ID]

A phenomenal short film detailing a young woman going off her epilepsy meds and the horrors that she witnesses. The final shot still gives me chills.

The film is also free to watch on Vimeo here.

2. Silas Marner (1985)

[Image ID: Silas Marner as played by Ben Kingsley in Silas Marner (1985). He has dark hair down to his shoulders and is wearing a brown-grey suit and jacket with a grey neckerchief. /end ID]

A solid retelling of George Eliot's classic novel, this film follows Silas Marner, a cataleptic weaver, after he is banished from his church. Catalepsy, a potential symptom of epilepsy, is so rarely discussed and Kingsley sells the heck out of the scenes where he has seizures (without indulging in over-the-top dramatics) and the scenes where he's just a guy trying to survive after being abandoned by his religion.

3. One Day at a Time (1975) (Episode: Ann's Secretary)

[Image ID: Leslie, a young red-haired woman, sits at a secretarial desk, answering the phone. /end ID]

An episode from the show One Day at a Time (1975) where main character Ann needs to hire a secretary but fears that her new employee may have a drug abuse problem.

I loved this episode because it ended up subverting several of the clichés of "Very Special Episodes". Leslie is plucky and has a good amount of positive self-worth but also she would rather people think of her as a "pill popper" rather than as someone with epilepsy due to the negative stigma of being epileptic. Ann has to confront her unconscious ableism towards people with epilepsy and ultimately concedes that she can't get past it without a lot of effort on her part.

The episode felt more honest about how things really are, that a lot of people with epilepsy will struggle with and even deny being associated with the label of "epileptic" and that even people who are allies will similarly struggle with their own ableism.

4. Control (2007)

[Image ID: A silhouette of Ian Curtis (as played by Sam Riley) on stage. He's holding a microphone. /end ID]

A biopic on the life and death of Ian Curtis, lead singer for Joy Division. This film shows up on a lot of epilepsy media recommendations lists and rightfully so. Of all the epilepsy-related biopics I've seen so far, this film had the most mature handling of the subject matter, tackling difficult issues such as drug resistant epilepsy and how people can be negatively impacted by the side effects of medication.

5. Fast Color (2018)

[Image ID: Ruth as played by Gugu Mbatha-Raw in Fast Color. She has short brown hair and is wearing heavily worn clothes, with several tears in her blue jeans. She's walking alone down a dirt farm road while carrying a canister. /end ID]

Following Ruth, a woman with an unspecified seizure disorder that is negatively impacting her super powers, I just love that there's a superhero film out there with a main character that has seizures. That's not even representation you can find in actual superhero comic books!

Also: shout out to Electricity (2014). I've rambled about that film in the past but it always deserves more attention. A truly amazing film.