#i reread this and i feel I've taken this a bit too seriously?

[xatsperesso]

I feel like iruma has accidentally called certain teachers/demons mom/dad, like kalego, baal, and both of his friend's mom's

Ok im not sure whether you mean like that's something he'd totally do or that's something that has already canonically happened (which im pretty sure id know of if he canonically called someone mom or dad i would die)

But anyway this is something i can see happen cause iruma is literally collecting patental figures like they're pokemons, and he'd be so fucking flustered and embarrassed he wont be able to look anyone in the eye for a month. But! Who would he call his mom/dad first?

Now listen, im just gonna skim over opera cause they're nonbinary and accidentally slipping would mean to misgender? them and i dont want that. Or maybe opera doesn't care but im not taking any chances, but feel free to tell me any hc you have for our resident cat! Or anyone really i love reading headcanons

So, after recent events, and against every bet the babyl staff may or may not have had, i think he'd first slip up in front of amaryllis, azz's mom. Why? Other than the fact that she would be merciless when teasing him and i enjoy iruma's suffering, just look at what happened in chapter 297 and literally every other interaction between them, giving him advice and dressing him up and being overall affectionate with him like he's her own son. She's every bit the mother his egg donor could never dream of being! And the teasing would be out of this world. No one else will tease him like this queen

Now, the one who's got the most bets placed on (There's no way they dont have a bet on this ok?) Our dear grumpy birb, to the delight of dali and mortification of iruma, kalego! This is very much self explanatory, but what would be his reaction? He'd freeze up because Nope nope nope he's not ready to be a father he's not ready to be IRUMA’S father nopenopenope and then he'd go. Doesn't matter whether it's the middle of the class or he's walking off a cliff he is removing himself from this before opera somehow finds out. He is not going to be a part of this family he is not dealing with this he is Not Blushing fuck of Shichirou! (Everyone somehow finds out and my lord does kalego get teased. Iruma just wants to skip school until he forgets this ever happens (he never will) but his grades aren't that great so he can't TvT)

I want him to call balam dad. No, i want the whole class to call balam dad. The guy needs to be loved. He deserves all the happiness in the world. And yes, it'd be kinda embarrassing, but! The kids are teasing him! This means that they're comfortable around him!! Seriously i love balam so much he very much does not deserve being feared as much as he is

Now, for the ultimate embarrassment, the one who'll laugh their ass off and will not hold back in teasing the poor boy, the one who iruma cant hide from, Arikled. Ali-san is total dad energy, no one can convince me otherwise. And iruma will literally want to die cause he's Arikled. Why did he have to call Arikled out of literally everybody else dad

[syoish-aot]

HOLY SHIT IT'S DONE!!

I was having some intense posting paralysis all morning (I think I reread the last scene like 15x just to make sure it was worded exactly right).

*he terrifying fear when you write something you really love and you're scared no one else will like it as much as you do*

ANYWAY -

Thank you so much to everyone that's been regularly reading slash commenting on I Found You! It was my first time posting fic to tumblr and I had a lot of fun doing it!

I always have SO MANY ideas for fics, but I get overwhelmed by the idea of seriously perusing them. A lot of this comes from the fear that no one will read them and I'll have spent all of my time writing for absolutely nothing. BUT I've been trying to humble myself lately and recognize the joy in the writing process itself and the satisfaction of getting my ideas fully fleshed out on paper aka google docs regardless of the attention they get.

Despite that, anyone who writes fic understands how shitty it feels when you work for DAYS on something and get crickets in the comments. It sucks. And that's sort of how I've been feeling with my fics on Ao3 lately- which kicks my motivation right in the ass.

In writing I Found You, I think I got some of that motivation back. Not JUST because I was getting regular commenters (again, thank you so much) but also because I was able to slip fully into my self indulgence and finally write out one of the verses that's been existing in my mind palace for MONTHS!

So, all of this rambling is to say this -

I really liked sharing this story with you guys on tumblr, and I'm for sure going to be doing more of this style in the future.

I'll be posting I Found You to Ao3 as well, but I want to edit it a bit (and possibly add a few more scenes) before doing that.

Basically the version I posted here is more of a rough draft, and then the final version will be the one on Ao3.

If you like my writing, consider checking out my Reader/Eren long fic "Ten Seconds" (100k, complete on Ao3) or the post-canon Jean/OC fic I'm working on "The Letters She Wrote"

If you read all of this, then here's your reward - a sneak peak at the VERY LONG isekai/time travel fic that I'm going to be working on next...

Chapter 1 - "You, 2000 years in the future"

Shiganshina High - 2024

You’d taken Ancient History as an elective to fill your schedule because no other class fit in the period. 

Also to piss off your dad about not taking AP calculus.

(But mostly it was the schedule thing.)

It wasn’t that you disliked Ancient History, you just found it painfully boring and mind numbing. It was the class right after lunch and every assignment was another boring paper that sounded the exact same over and over and over again.

(Although it did leave you wondering how many times you could start a paper with “the oxford dictionary defines discovery as…” before Mr. Arlert, the ancient old man who taught the class, caught on.)

Thankfully, you didn’t have to put too much effort into the class to get a good grade and because of that the class was an easy A that you could use to maintain your honor roll. Mr. Arlert was retiring at the end of the year, so he was pretty much entirely checked out. You had a feeling he didn’t actually read any of your papers and gave your grades out based on how well he assumed you did the assignment. Which, again, meant you got an A on every one. So Mr. Arlert had a habit of putting on documentaries instead of actually teaching anything. 

And you weren’t about to complain about that.

Armin was sitting next to you furiously taking notes on the documentary that Mr. Arlert, his grandpa and teacher, had put on. You understood his struggle to impress his grandpa in the class he taught on a personal level. You used to be like that when it came to math, but now you normally felt yourself doing the opposite. “The opposite”, meaning:

Not taking AP calculus.

Writing the wrong answer on a quiz, even after doing the work to prove the correct one.

Asking pointless questions in class just to see him get that constipated I-can’t-treat-you-like-my-daughter-right-now-because-you’re-my-student-but-god-do-I-wish-I-could-ground-you look.

You smiled at the memory, feeling quite pleased with yourself, until the monotone voice of the documentary playing at the front of the class pulled  you back into the present:

“The ancient people of Paradis elected large walls, presumably to protect themselves from invaders during this time.” You looked back at the projector. There was a poorly done animation of what historians suspect the three large walls may have looked like, back when they still stood almost 2000 years ago. 

The documentary, just like every documentary Mr. Arlert put on, seemed pretty pointless to show to a class of eleventh graders who were already very aware of the mysterious history of Paradis. 

You’d all grown up here and had been taught about this stuff since grade school. Paradis was a major hub for ancient history. There were dozens of museums throughout the island, all holding different ancient artifacts and pieces of your country’s history. Pieces that’s functions had been lost to time, leaving archeologists only able to guess the true history of your people and what these items were for.

“...purpose of them is still unknown, some archaeologists theorize they were used for early agriculture, although others argue they may have been used for religious reasons…”

On the screen was one of the most mysterious relics of ancient Paradis. Two metal cylinders, attached to some sort of strap. Normally, they were found with a large box of metal that was meant to hold something, along with canisters of unknown contents. The were rare, but a few dozen of them had been uncovered in the last hundred years and have only continued to add to the mystery of ancient Paradis. 

Of course, you were curious what their origins may be too, but not curious enough to look into it further than this class and the occasional trip you make to the Paradis Museum. 

“...these large man-eating monsters were an important part of Paradis folklore, some argue they were likely worshiped as go-”

The bell rang, finally saving you from your mind numbing documentary focused torture.

“Ah!” Mr. Arlert jerked awake at his desk. “Yes, well- I hope you all learned something important today!” He quickly said as he stood. “Don’t forget, your final papers are due on Monday morning. Despite it, I hope you’re able to enjoy your weekend!”

You hoped so too.

God, did you hope so...

[pseudowho]

I ... I ... I ... Ahn ... My comment was so huge that I decided to sent it through here. About the "Smut" story.

From what witchcraft of a cauldron have all you magnificent magician's have been boiling and drinking from ?! What sorcery is this ?

* Screams in 12 different languages. 5 dead dialects. 7 alien idioms *

I am breathless ! And cannot describe into words the rest of the feelings this stirred up. 🔥❤️‍🔥👀🫠

Kylo Ren and the Phantom of Opera holy hell amen to that ! I live them ! What a combo for this delicious sorcerer to act upon.

This is devilishly erotic and well written that omg this spicy smut is better than what we seen in so many books. The richness that it captures, his performance, better than any fine wine !

Seriously, some Dark Romance books don't capture this finesse of essence. It feels too rushed and no build up. But this, woooow ! I want this !

If she divorces Nanami I volunteer! LOL. The man can fold, break, rip me in half and I'll thank him. You raised the Nanami bar even more, @actuallysaiyan did that earlier and now you did it. All of Nanami writers just keep shooting me down. I feel like the undead monkey from Pirates of the Caribbean. Everyone just shooting me ! I'm not sure who's the masochist and who's the sadist the readers or the writers at this point.

Oh Lord I am ruined for any irl men because of these heart wrenching, gut rearranging, soul ascending or descending idk at this point anymore, pick your poison, so well written fics ! I want all of Nanami's facets (teen, salaryman, sorcerer, husband, boyfriend, pst-shibuya, older silverfoxed, etc) gimme gimme. Gimme this man. This sorcerer has me wrapped around his finger with just a gleam of his eyes.

*starts chanting for manifesting irl a man life him*

Or someone will have to pay for my therapy session or worse, a psychiatric ward. LOL

As always, my radio mind while reading this thought about pieces of this song: "You put a spell on me... I'm losing my mind. You better stop things... It's a matter of time... Before I hunt you down. Grab your chin, and kiss your lips. You bring me back. I lay you down. And grab your hips And we lose all control... And before you know it... I put a spell on you." From Austin Giorgio's 'You Put a Spell on Me'.

Thank you so much for your writings! For your work of art and for sharing! Seriously, thank you very much. You writers have no idea how much your stories help us, inspires or just makes us feel more comfy in this harsh world.

I'm so sorry it's taken me SO LONG to answer this, I've been a bit burnt out and exhausted, but...

THANK YOU! I actually had such a great time writing that one, letting Nanami Kento go fake!darkside was such a treat.

Honestly, you consistently read so much of my stuff, so an extremely big thank you for that. There are some cracking Nanami writers on here, I hope you find more in your exploration!

And thank you for making ME feel comfy. Reading this was like being wrapped up in a blanket and given a big mug of hot chocolate.

And for waiting.

I'm so sorry it took so long. Really. Honestly. Mostly I've just been eating too much and tired. So this really makes my day to reread this Inbox again 💕����

-- Haitch xxx

[kindaoptimisticsquirrel]

Why not: A CCS reread, Part 3

It's saturday and I cannot stop myself from reading more. Time to go on with Chapter 13!

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7

Ch13:

I'm just now catching on the resemblance of Nadeshiko to Kotoki from X...

Batting Fujitaka with a stick because for heaven's sake you don't hit on your students, ESPECIALLY when they are still under 18. And not with these cheesy lines, too, sigh.

Oh Tomoyo, you're so dear to me <3 I met her first when I read Tsubasa Chronicles, because I read Cardcaptor Sakua later (I don't even know when the anime aired in Germany. Probably way before my time) It was nice seeing her here in the story where she originates and where her character can be more child and follow her hobbies (cause tsubasa is a bit darker in its theme)

Ch14:

Saving this for reference for when I might want to photoshop something stupid onto the newspaper

Loving the little "yikes" at the size of the bread :DD

Ch15:

I definitely forgot about this woman and that she and Touya had been..a thing? (Geez. I try not to think too much about the ages of the characters in CLAMP works)

You know what, I would have loved to get to know Shaoran's siblings!

Hihihihihi *giggling and kicking my feet*

Ch16:

Awww he's so cute when embarrassed

Sometimes it's a wonder how oblivious Yukito can be.

Ch18:

oooh I'm saving this for a drawing reference because I want to try to imitate this beautiful light effects! Gonna try with ink if I find time.

Ch19:

No, Fujitaka, when an adult man offers your 10 year old daughter some tea and biskuits and invites her to come over the other day, you don't just smile and tell her to go back. I'm shaking my head here very disappointedly. (I know it's a childrens' story so it isn't supposed to be taken that seriously, but if you try to look at it from an older perspective? Phew :D Some choices are really dubious.) (I'm only making fun of this, I'm still very much enjoying this manga. It's just interesting to see how different you can see things once you are NOT the target audience's age anymore) Oh yeah I forgot Fujitaka probably knows the man is Nadeshiko's grandfather, but my point still stands. Ch20:

I'm at the screen play now, and Yamazaki really is the perfect cast for that role hehe

Ch21:

You know I really like drawing style with the no hatching, and the light greytones. Normally we don't see shadows really so scenes like this with dark and light really stand out more. Also I think, this drawing style of the manga might look easy, because it's just outlines, and they are all the same line weight mostly...but I've seen other mangas trying to do it like this and I feel like they didn't pull it off this well. I'm wondering, if you don't really use grey tones to give your characters and objects depth, then at LEAST you gotta have a good feeling for shapes and panel arrangement and such to make it all work.

Good to see that the Light and Dark cards are just your average sweet lesbian couple. Good for them! *thumbs up*

Ch22:

I think I want a fic with Touya working at the most obscure places.

Touya: Bitch, don't be giving me love advice when you're the one who broke up. Sooo this is long enough for a post! Time to make a new one! :)

[winns-stuff]

are there... actually any good webtoons on webtoon? i used to be a big fan back when i was 17/18 and i started reading them again (i'm 22 now and a bit more critical of what i read lol) and i'm just... appalled... i agree with all the criticism of lore olympus, true beauty was a mess, snailords apparently abuses his fans, and in his recent story he had a lesbian woc be a victim of sa who was eventually graphically murdered. he used the fact that she was a lesbian as advertisement. unordinary used to be a favorite of mine but as i was getting caught up i was so triggered by one character's abuse of another (idk if you've read it or plan to read it so i won't specify) that i felt physically ill and could not read anymore. i skipped ahead a few chapter to see if they end up together or if the victim cuts off her abuser but she doesn't and now it seems like she's in a trauma bond. it paralleled my own abusive relationship so strongly i was horrified to see so many people shipping them and defending the abusive character. i only found one post on reddit pointing the abuse out and it was downvoted. i used to like let's play too but i tried rereading it and just couldn't take it seriously, the workplace harassment that happens in the first few eps is just ridiculous. i've also heard that mongie is also very bad at taking criticism. i love yoo has a romance between a 17 year old and a man in his i believe mid 20s. is there a single healthy relationship on this app? or a quality story? i feel like i should just delete the app at this point.

sorry for ranting in your inbox lol, i'm too anxious to make an actual post and i really appreciate your lo criticisms though i am genuinely curious if there are any stories worth reading on webtoons at this point.

you’re more than fine to rant in my inbox you don’t have to apologize, I encourage people to rant and such! I appreciate that you like my criticisms they’re mainly all over the place. But I can say that there are some good webtoons out there! Me personally I enjoy a lot of the canvas ones since I feel like their stories are very promising and interesting. But I can tell you some of my favorites just in case you might want to check it out.

Batman: Wayne Family Adventures — I really liked this one honestly, it’s just a slice of life and the plot surrounds itself with the family and fighting crime and such in Gotham. It’s pretty funny too and wholesome.

Roach — I stopped reading around episode 6 but not because I didn’t like it, I just got caught up with other things and forgot to check in with it. But it’s a horror one so beware of the blood and such, I’m not sure if they have any triggering themes but I’ll double check in the comments for that one.

Midnight Furies (Canvas) — Very interesting and fun, it’s about magical basketball basically and whenever you go to the court you gain these superpowers. It’s got drama and such and it also has a woman of color as the main character. I think it’s really neat and it could be good for you if you enjoy action.

The Human Spirit (Canvas) — I haven’t exactly checked in with this one either in a bit but it starts in a fantasy world where powers exist. There’s a lead singer for I believe an alt band (could be metal but genuinely I don’t remember, I’ll edit this once I check back in) that plays live music for this female fighter (also a woman of color) and they instantly like each other and go out on a date until during their time together the inner city gets their individual powers taken from them. Like superpower wise, which lead these two to go on this journey. Although there is a falling out between the two main characters after this, still interesting though.

Emmy The Robot (Canvas?) — This one is my all time favorite. It uses a trope that I love a little too much which is when a robot nanny accidentally starts wiring out of control (not in a violent way) but she’s in need of answers. It’s like this cool dystopian world where androids take care of your children and they all have personalities and such, it’s a very cute and light hearted story.

The Reincarnation Of Countess Diabolique (Canvas) — This one is one of those tropes where a person dies and they’re sucked into a book that they got but unlike the other ones I actually really like this one. The main character was this political figure who I believe either got assassinated or something but after death she got teleported into the book that her husband or boyfriend gave her. I enjoy that she’s really rational and less cheerful about it, she’s mainly trying to rebuild the economy in her kingdom even though the character before created numerous amounts of terrible things using dark magic. I think the characters and art is really nice, there’s some things I have to say about it but I think it’s just a personal nitpick. It’s one of my favorites as well though.

Pyramid Game — Okay this one isn’t as light hearted as the other webtoons I discussed, it’s definitely in need of a trigger warning since there’s creepy behavior between a student and teacher and I believe some other heavy topics. But it’s all about the main character transferring to this prestigious school that has like a sort of popularity system where if you are voted around the D ranks you’re in the spot for being bullied pretty badly. I think it’s interesting but it might not be for everyone which is completely fine, but it does have an engaging plot. It’s a drama though.

Of Swamp & Sea — This is also a lighthearted webtoon, it’s set in a world where wild monsters run free and monster hunters have to round them up and capture them. The main characters father was eaten by one of them and she called a monster hunter in order to protect the rest of her land but after she accidentally got possessed by the very creature who ate him. Feeling guilty the monster hunter takes her along with him in order to free her from the monster and such. There’s romance going on between them but also a lot of action, drama, and a bit of lore. It’s set in like western times (I think?) and it’s a nice read.

Blue Love (Canvas) — Okay this one is filled with a few tropes which includes standoffish x friendly, perfectionist x laid back, closed off x open, and mix it in with an office romance. Luckily though, it’s without the power imbalances (at least I believe so) and their friendship isn’t at all toxic or anything. It’s basically about the main character being contaminated with blue blood (literally she bleeds blue) because of drinking a blue drink over the years while the main interest finds out about it, he swears not to tell anyone about it and helps her keep her secret from the other workers. Although she doesn’t have much of a good reputation since she is a perfectionist and a little more guarded than the average person. I like the dynamic and I have a few nitpicks with it but nothing too big, I enjoy it though.

Hippo Meets Piggi — It’s an adorable story about like animals but make them walk on two legs and work in a little office. It kinda reminds me of sanrio and it’s adorable, it’s a slice of life and the main character Hippo has a huge crush on Piggi which is her coworker, yeah it’s another office romance. It’s super duper lighthearted and adorable I recommend reading it if you enjoy stuff like that.

Super Cutie Sundae Force (Canvas) — I discovered it today and it’s also adorable, it’s a magical girl group and it follows a lot of it’s tropes. It’s got a lot of jokes and fun comedy though and the style is so cute since they’re all so little and pastel.

Get Schooled — I really enjoy this webtoon honestly, it does go into heavy topics of abuse in parents and adults and such so it might not be very suitable for you possibly, but luckily the victims always get a much better ending than the ones who inflicted pain upon them. Not only that but I enjoy how the webtoon highlights minors and advocates for them in times where adults would probably side with each other, it’s nice seeing a comic highlight something like that and although I have a few gripes with it I think the story is very entertaining and very emotionally engaging. But again, there’s a bunch of triggers so be warned if you are willing to read it, if not I understand completely.

Blue Star Rebellion (Canvas) — Now this also handles a very dark topic of human trafficking and trade although it is set in outer space with aliens and mages. The characters are very cool and I enjoy their designs, there’s also a lot of lore and such which I always enjoy in stories and the interactions between them are really good. I’m sure the heavy topic at the source will still be prevalent within the story so also be warned for that, but for now it’s pretty lighthearted and such.

My Superhero (Canvas) — I enjoy the art style and the world that the creator and I really enjoy the dynamic of the main characters. It’s sort of a slice of light showcasing a villain trying to find an arch-nemesis and wanting for a specific superhero to be that although he’s very busy trying to defeat the arch-nemesis he already has. I think it’s pretty fun and entertaining honestly and I’ve had fun reading it.

She Makes Hungry (Canvas) — This is a story set in like a dystopian future where there’s monsters and such with I believe like a hunter or scientist hunting them and defending the people? I’m not sure it’s been a while since I’ve revisited it but the scientist ends up falling in love with the monster even though she knows that it’s against the laws. But she tries to hide her and keep her safe and such. I think they’re banter is really cute and I really like the story, I believe it’s starting to pick up but I could be wrong.

Lemon Soda & Coffee (Canvas) — This one handles a toxic relationship from a man’s point of view since he’s the victim of it. So there’s a trigger there, but I believe that that’s the only heavy topic that it dives into. It’s mainly about this office working man falling in love with a teacher who has a kid. It’s a really cute romance and they’re neighbors so they become friends before anything and then build their relationship overtime which is cute to me. But again, beware of it if you are interested please tread lightly.

Blood Stain (Canvas) — This is by the same creator who created Punderworld and actually I’ve been reading this one before it came out really. It’s about a woman down on her luck and in need of a job decides to take up a sketchy job offer from a location of a mad scientist and his assistant basically. It’s actually really lighthearted and entertaining, I really like the dynamic of the two characters and I think it’s a nice story for what it is.

Planetarium (Canvas) — Okay umm.. so this is another workplace romance (I know, crazy right) but it does have a power imbalance between the two characters but around this time of the story they’re more like enemies than anything so there’s still a bunch of development that needs to be done. I think it’s pretty lighthearted and cool to see personified planets all working in a huge building in the middle of space. There’s drama of course but it’s actually very enjoyable and not suffering so yeah, take that as you will.

The Croaking — It’s a really complicated story and it’s one I just cannot explain with words honestly, there’s a lot of twists and turns and at times you’ll get confused but there’s never a dull moment with them. I really like the world building and such, also since the people in the story have bird wings you get so many patterns and animals facts. Some people even carrying animalistic traits with them which I think is really cool. But there are some tense moments around 68 so if you are interested be aware of that.

Suitor Armor — I really like this one too, although it does have some moments where it’s really heavy so beware of that if you aren’t already. I do enjoy the fantasy and drama elements and I’m really excited to see where it goes.

Downtrotten (Canvas) — I really like this story, it’s a cute story about unicorns and I think it’s neat I also started reading it today and I enjoy how cute it is.

Night Owls & Summer Skies — This one is pretty cool too, it’s about a romance between two girls who are at this summer camp. I have a few nitpicks with it but all in all I think it’s pretty interesting. It does showcase divorce and it’s affects though so beware of that, but otherwise it’s just pretty fun to read and really funny.

After School Lessons For Unripe Apples — I really like this one it’s a slice of life but it’s a constant plot revolving around two teens who knew each other from childhood forming a friendship and working their way through adolescents. I really enjoy it although at times I do get a little confused but that’s just me and I really love the way the characters are written and such.

Nevermore — I haven’t read all of it but from the feedback from other people it’s pretty good and it’s got really nice art. I believe the story is kinda putting a supernatural twists to sapphics or at least I think that’s what the ads sorta say about it. I think it’s really cool though.

Rotten — This one is a finished webtoon but it’s really cool. It’s a horror drama thriller though and it does handle topics of abuse, murder, and etc. So beware of that if you’re interested in it but it’s one of my favorites.

Anyways, that’s the end and I hope that this gave you a good selection or helped you in any way! If none of these are for you I understand completely and I hope you find a story that suits you well! Good luck!

[expensivemistake]

8 & 25 for the writing ask !! -sapph

thank you thank you than you!!

8) Favorite genre to write

Kurt Hummel brain worm genre. I just like to dig inside his brain.

But UM, more seriously. When it comes to fanfiction I'm the most partial to canon compliant quiet moments that explore characters' mental states, thoughts and feelings. I tend to write fanfiction as an exercise in character study.

In terms of bigger projects I like "soft AUs", as I've taken to calling them. I like a "what if?" situation or a "media... but" where it's as grounded in canon and canon characterisation as possible. I don't necessarily want to retell the plot of a movie, but the characters are called Kurt and Blaine. I want to find an interesting Klaine way of using elements from other stories or genres.

For things I come up with myself, contemporary fantasy is probably my natural home. I enjoy blending whimsy with modernity and modern sensibilities.

25) Copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of.

Reread most of my fic that's between Bash-Tested, cried a bit because um... s5 Klaine makes me sad ig, but I think this paragraph might be my favourite:

Blaine’s arm is like a seatbelt - he needs it to survive, even when it’s so tight that it cuts his circulation. But he needs it to survive. It’s the safest, most secure place he knows. Kurt needs this, but there’s a comfort in knowing that Blaine needs him, too.

[scholar-of-yemdresh]

Master of Poisons by Andrea Hairston

Haven't really posted any book reviews on here for a while, so before the yeah is up I'm once again asking y'all to read this book.

This was a "reread" for me I read it as an ebook 3-ish years ago and decided to try it out as an audiobook. And I've got to say the audiobook really elevated this book for me. The way the book is written is clearly pulling from African oral traditions and I feel listening to it rather than plain reading it really connects to that. A tangent but I saw some people saying that the female narrator was bad? And no she wasn't??? She was fine to me.

I always hear how fantasy now at days has lost the whimsy and magic. That everything is either "grounded low on magic & the fantastical or it's too rigid with it's sanderson "hard magics". To an extent I agree(and I don't it's complicated but tldr there's more to fantasy than GRR Martin or Brandosando clones).

I will place this book in the amorphous "literary fantasy" grouping but it doesn't fall Into the trap that a lot of literary sff falls into, which I greatly dislike. That being de-emphasising and limiting any fantastical elements so it can be taken "seriously" not this book! There's just so much serious literary" SFF that only has a sprinkle of a fantasy that adds nothing and the fantastical element isn't even engaged with all that much, it makes me question why the author even bothered, like just write realistic contemporary/historical fiction and drop the pretense of writing SFF. (No I'm not talking about magical realism or books that aren't super dense with fantasy/sci-fi nonsense)

And like a most litfic it's got big Themes™. The most obvious (to me at least) is the environmental message. This is probably the only Climate Fiction book that I enjoyed mainly because it wasn't as dour and depressing as other Climate Fiction. Yes the poison desert is creeping in destroying the ecosystem and people are starving but the more fantastical elements acted as cushion for me. Because just reading about straight "the earth is dead humanity is dying shit sucks the seas have boiled etc" is not a fun time and hits to close to current reality 😢

I loved the prose and writing style too! It's so depressing that it's got such a low score on Goodreads(3.3/5) with a lot of reviewers saying the book had bad grammar??? Hell no! it's one thing if the writing style isn't for you or found it confusing to follow but bad grammar? It's giving racism. Sorry not sorry, different writing and storytelling traditions and techniques especially when executed so masterfully are not "bad grammar". Stop the cap!

And as a little treat this book does have queer representation, but goes about in a way I wish more modern capital q Queer SFF followed. Basically it doesn't rely on fanfic/romance tropes(you know the ones) or making every queer person a conventionally attractive able-bodied smexy snarky/quippy 22 year old (can you tell I'm not a fan of that style lmao). Both of our "main view point characters are queer. One is a Bisexual middle-aged man(he's currently married to a woman but past relationship with third gender person and attraction to men is implied) and a young wlw girl, with significant characters of a Third gender, called Veson who use "vie" pronouns. Plus a good portion of the side characters were some flavour of queer.

There's so much magic and weirdness it honestly throws you into the deep end with all the new fantasy stuff it hits the reader with. There are some heavy themes this isn't "grimdark" by any means but shit happens.

Highly recommended for people are into: African inspired fantasy, Stand alones, magic that feels magical and unknown, climate fiction, a book that reads like folklore, queer representation especiallyin adult SFF, interesting prose/writing style and being a bit confused when reading.

CW: violence, a bit of gore, slavery, misogyny, transphobia/Binaryism, Sexual violence(off screen), xenophobia, mild sexual content, and the ages of certain characters weren't explicit so certain sexual situations could've involved minors.

[random-meme-bot]

THE POEM WAS ABOUT MILO‽‽

Not gonna lie‚ he was some I suspected but then dismissed because of the "whole boy in blue" thing (I checked the wiki to make sure I wasn't misremembering and the only male blue character in MF is a background character).

Knowing that you have some OC you have only shown in string worm picrew form and that two of them had blue as a primary color I'm guessing that's the famous Boy in blue.

If I had to choose one of them based on the picrew alone, probably the second one since the more unicolor design falls more in line with WH, but definitely looking too deep into it

(in my defense I spent too much time trying to figure out who the character was using boy in blue to list off OCs from shows that don't have a character that would fit the description and Milo being the answer literally broke my entire conspiracy board, although maybe I shouldn't have assumed that all of the unknown OCs would be from different franchises that the ones we already have)

Leaving that whole deal aside, I don't have as much to say in general like I did with my first theory because MF doesn't really have a plot I can't base a theory on it like I did for the Molly theory, and I don't know enough about Milo lore to try and come up with something...

But I really love how the poems are like two sides of the same coin, having the same structure and repeating verses, but with changes to clearly convey that each one is being told from the perspective of a different person and how they see the person narrating the other poem, and the fact that the last section is almost the exact same in both really makes me want to know what "the bit that went too far" is...

It's also kinda cool how by their reflections on the other narrator we get to know more about the character, like mixing the first four verses of both poems give us the information that Milo is someone who despite the fact that he isn't by any means a nobody as "people take them seriously" wishes he was more popular, while BiB is someone popular that never gets taken seriously, with people probably only taking them as surface level.

I find really interesting that BiB fears Milo, I expected some sort of one sided rivalry based on Milo's description of him in "Obverse" but that actually caught me a bit off guard.

What I find more interesting is that despite both poems seemingly describing the same story from two points of view, they both describe the other person "walking through the door", which could either mean that "walking through the door" is not supposed to be taken literally or that each of them remember the events differently, which would also correlate to the fact that at the end both say that "(...) it was a joke at first (...) I think I've gone too far with the bit" and that they both claim that all happened because of the other person.

I'm sorry if this is a bit unorganized, but the more times I reread both of them the more I become obsessed with the parallels, like how in "Obverse" Milo mentions that they wish BiB were mute and in "Reverse" BiB says that until then they shall be as quiet as ever, or how in "Obverse" it's said that it'll all come crushing down when the other person makes an endeavor, whis is one of the few parts where the two poems align as "Reverse" says that it'll come crashing down when they themselves make an endeavor.

I feel like I could talk about this parallelism for pages and pages, but also I feel like I'm repeating myself, so in short I will only say, if these poems were real people I would love to study them in a lab and see how they react to the same tests, I'm really obsessed with how they mirror each other in different but similar ways and I need to know more about Milo's lore or who the Boy in Blue even is.

Great work with the Poems💜💜💜💜💚💚💙💙

Reverse

[The following is an oc lore poem written by me.]

Imagine someone,

who's the complete opposite of who you are,

and unlike you,

people take them more seriously by far.

Feared by you,

disliked by almost everyone else,

it's so absurd,

it doesn't make any sense.

Someone so gloomy,

and cold as ice,

and yet so weirdly charming,

that you wish they were nice.

Now imagine if that someone,

actually walked through the door,

can life have anything more surprising in store?

The answer to this question is yes,

you just know,

the one thing you can do,

is go with the flow.

The more time goes on,

the more your curiosity seems to grow,

you're just waiting for their other sides to show.

Then, it'll all hopefully be done,

and if not, a new risk will be run.

But until then you shall be as quiet as ever,

it'll all come crashing down,

when you'll make an endeavor.

...the concept was a joke at first I gotta admit,

but I think I've gone too far with the bit.

Nobody is laughing,

not me, they, or even you from what I've seen.

All of this happened,

because of the boy in green.

[sparxymcfly]

Do you have any bttf fanfics or crossovers that you'd recommend?

I CANNOT BEGIN TO APOLOGIZE FOR HOW LONG THIS ONE HAS TAKEN TO GET TO but simultaneously. :) You bet your butt I do! I've read... quite a few BTTF fics and combed through, I am fairly sure, a large chunk of what's on Ao3. Which ah! Does leave quite a considerable pile. But lemme give you some of my favorites!!

Fanfictions

‘Cause I Might Not Make It Back by Rose_of_Pollux - I feel the need to give small descriptions but also I ought to keep it brief! A post-game multi-chapter adventure following Marty sent back to 1932 with amnesia and both Emmett and Doc have to work to figure out what’s happened and how to fix it, all the while the perpetrator- after Doc’s time travel research- is still at large... It’s well written and very fun!

No Little Plans by cleflink - Another grand adventure! While not multichapter, this one is still a bit of heft at 11k, but MAN is it worth it. In which Doc takes Marty on a fun little road trip that turns WILD. But then, whaddya expect out of these two? It’s a seriously fun ride and as I don’t intend to try to spoil more than what’s in descriptions I’ll be leaving it at that, but I very much recommend it!

Future Boy: In The Beginning by Anonymous - Wow! A trans Marty fic? From moi? Who’d have thunk it. There’s many different takes on trans Marty, but this one is one of my favorites. There isn’t terribly much to be said that isn’t on the tin- Marty deals with realizing he is trans and going forward with that in the American 80s. There’s also a second fic in this series and you should read it too- do be warned of the tags, of course, but have fun!

Becoming Marty by butchcassidy - TWO trans Marty fics? Methinks there’s a trend here. Well, there is. This one is a lot lighter than the previous one, for what it is worth, but it’s just as lovely a take. As opposed to a stalwart fight, it’s more of a rocky road, so to speak. As it says on the tin- Marty becoming himself, and it’s very enjoyable :)

Fireworks, Family, and other post time travel Phenomenon by Moonyssoliloquy - Mouthful! But here’s a lovely little number about PTSD and Marty’s wonderful little found family. There isn’t much to be said without just spoiling the whole deal as it is rather short and sweet, but I gotta say, the writing is crisp and makes it very worth the click. Especially if you wanna read something that’ll just make you real soft for a minute :)

In Case of Emergency by Knickynoo - MMM SOME OF THESE WERE DIFFICULT because I’m endeavoring to pick just one fic per author when it comes up. PLEASE do look into these authors I’m linking bc honest to god very good work, every single one of em. Anyways I picked this one because I have a penchant for reading and rereading softer and easier things more than heavy ones and I would have liked to reread longer things before I recommend them and <3 not quite ready yet. Which, a bit of a laugh considering some of my earlier picks, but like a certain little time traveler I find grand adventure easier than confronting the hard stuff. Who knew! BUT EVEN THEN IT’S HARD. This one is cute and it’s about Marty calling Doc for help and it’s just. Give it a read just trust me, Nikki’s good at this stuff <3

He Ain’t Heavy. He’s My Brother by TaraTheMeerkat - OHHH my goodness I really do love this one. I’ve got a soft little spot in my heart for the 2015 kids and man if this doesn’t deliver so darn well. Trans Marlene? Check. The twins just being there for each other and loving each other? Check. Lovely characterizing on both of them? Check. Give it a read if you like them also :)

Doctor Fix It by Kharasma - ITS SO. This one’s another rather short and sweet, following a little snippet of Doc and Marty in 55. It’s so. It’s very nice and cute and only a little bit sad but then it’s soft again I PROMISE it’s worth it go read it :)

Crossovers

I don’t actually read that many crossovers tbh! And those I do, I typically prefer short and sweet ones, and/or crossovers that include things I Know about, although I’ve dipped my toes in the proverbial pool once or twice before. All this to say, here’s a few cute ones I’ve found, and do investigate yourself if you’d like! [Which is true of the non-crossover fics too but I feel Especially I should say here, since I don’t dabble in it much]. Most of em are short and sweet, so I’ll just be listing what the crossover is and you can decide whether you’d like a little smile about it <3

Departmental Affairs by kesomon - Back to the Future (Movies) x Star Trek: Next Generation.

It Could Have Happened by Kitschgeist - Back to the Future (Movies) x Clue (1985).

An Unusual Meeting by jedipati - Back to the Future (Movies) x Pirates of the Caribbean (Movies).

Back to the Falls by lemonhead - Back to the Future (Movies) x Gravity Falls.

little high, little low by mrFutureBoy - Back to the Future (Movies) x Stuart Little (Movies).

Also, did you know Marty features in the most infamous fanfiction of all, My Immortal? I learned this because someone posted it spell-checked to Ao3, turns out Marty randomly appears for 2 lines to help ole Ebony time travel. The more you know :)

In Closing/A Warning [under a read more bc this is gettin LONG]

Mostly! A warning! Do be careful when exploring if you choose to dive into the Ao3 tag yourself! The fandom is wonderful and I've read so many amazing works since becoming a fan, but while investigating some of my old favorites and, notably, their authors for other works for this ask, I, ah... made the unfortunate discovery that one of said old favorites was written by someone who also writes. Ah. To put it delicately some of the most atrocious things I’ve ever seen! Especially within the BTTF tag itself! To keep it vague. They're incredibly present, it seems, in both writing and reading- it made me a little ill to learn, and I'm a tad bit upset I cannot take the kudos back on any of their fic I read but <3 I can at least put forth the warning to you all to Be Careful venturing in, if that kind of thing bothers you. Every author of the fics I've linked here is of course fine though! Checked them myself and they're cool, at least in regards to BTTF content/things easily checked. You should check them out too also because not only is checking authors good for That Sort Of Thing but also you get to see more of their work that might otherwise be swallowed in the swaths! Which I’ve said once already, but like, can’t say it enough methinks.

If you WOULD like to check out the tag yourself for more though [and you aren’t already some measure of connoisseur of the site], here is a link to a search I've already applied careful filters of my own to! Granted, there is.. nothing I can do about untagged ships, but I've at least "seen the belly of the beast" so to speak and chopped off as much as I can. It's extremely barebones- removal of the most upsetting content, really. Typically I myself would remove things like Major Character Death [nothing wrong with it! I'm just soft and need to be in the right mood to handle it], or would filter for English [since that's the language I read ^^;]- or perhaps you'd like to filter out crossovers!

Which, points of warning for that is that on one hand, if you don’t filter them out I can’t? Guarantee you might not find a weird thing or two? As I didn’t exactly go through every single page of these. But on the other if you DO filter them out, careful to note that this is the filter for the movies, and filtering out crossovers Will also get rid of any that include the game. [WHICH UH! Here is another link if you’d like the same filters but with non-bttf crossovers removed- may still remove results from individual non-movie continuities, but it’s a good jumping off point and also I’m Rambling] But this is just some basic starters to help you not have to want to burn your eyes out like I do when I do my occasional tag checks for new works <3

Sorry again for the long wait, but thanks for asking!! And I hope you enjoy what I've set out- stay safe out there!

[otp-holic]

The one place (where something happened) (A03)

“In your life there are a few places, or maybe only the one place, where something happened, and then there are all the other places.” Alice Munro. (or the one where they receive a letter from a familiar name and we go into 4Ks of fluff around a lost afternoon in France)

4K. Lamely explicit at one point. Fanfic + Pictures Inside. Trigger for FLUFF as the main plot. Part of the Never let us lose what we have gained series (AO3)

This was supposed to be a manip with 200 words of bantering and it's now 4Ks of fluff with a few pictures. I've decided to leave them inside the cut because I feel they work better with its context there. I'm sorry for the hassle, but I really hope you give this a chance... unless you have cavities, only like fics with amazing plots or are allergic to shameless fluff.

Please do not repost the pictures, I know this is futile, but… I try :)

DAGUERROTYPE, France 1944 Private Collection.

Steve is cooling down from his very early run, enjoying the feeling of the pink sunrise looming over the awakening Brooklyn streets as he walks the last couple of blocks on the way home, when his phone beeps.

“Check your actual mailbox, we dropped something for you there. I think you should appreciate us making it old-fashioned just for you, grandpas!”

Steve smiles at Sam’s text and as soon as he arrives at their building he snaps a picture of the very common and flat envelope with “Barnes&Rogers” scribbled on top of a Stark Logo, to send along his response.

“Nice try, but this is inaccurate. A letter would have never made its way to us without an address or stamp. We’ll send you a proper thank you card to show you how it’s done.”

He can’t help but chuckle at his own joke rereading the text while he opens the door, and when he looks up from his phone and into the kitchen, he is received by a sleepy Bucky looking at the coffee machine like he looks at Steve during their most soft and embarrassingly cheesy moments.

“You love that thing more than you love me, confess it.”

“In the mornings? Yes. I don’t even like you in the mornings most of the time,” he answers matter of factly. “Want some?”

Steve playfully wiggles an eyebrow.

“No way. Your sweaty self is tempting, but coffee smells better. I might join you in the shower later.” Bucky offers him one of the two cups he has poured and he notices the envelope Steve is holding. “What is that?”

“We’ve got mail!” He hands it to Bucky. “I have no idea what's on it, but Sam texted me to say they had something delivered to our mailbox and there it was. Open it.”

Bucky leaves the cup on the counter, face sparked with a curiosity that makes him look twenty-one (and Steve weak on the knees), and goes for it.

The content is a bit underwhelming at first glance: Another envelope, white, no Stark logo, but topped with a bright green post-it with a note on Pepper’s script.

“This got to me via PR. We analyzed it and checked with the source (no peeking, I swear) and it seems legit. With that return address, it’s likely to arouse your interest. Love, P.”

Bucky tears off the post-it and the letter is revealed to be addressed to Steve Rogers at the Stark Tower, but it is when they turn it around when everything goes still for a second.

The return address is some street in Marseille, but what has Steve’s mouth dry and Bucky’s hand trembling just a bit is the combination of the place and the name written on top: Emmanuelle Jaques Dernier.

“Boom?”, Bucky says, trying to cut through their heavy hearts and taking Steve’s hand. It’s a terrible terrible joke, but Dernier would have loved it and he grins.

“That’s a terrible terrible joke,” Steve verbalizes, “but I think at least we’ve reached the same conclusion.”

“Elementary, my dear Steve,” Bucky answers as he opens the second envelope, only to reveal a folded letter and yet another envelope. “It’s a fucking vault of paper!”

Steve takes the letter from him, unfolds it, and quickly scans it (normal office paper, printed, hand-signed) before he starts reading it out loud to Bucky’s undivided attention.

“Dear Mr. Rogers,

My name is Emmanuelle Dernier and I am the great-grandson of Jaques Dernier of the Howling Commandos.

First, let me tell you that we all in our family grew up with amazing stories and praise for you, Sergeant Barnes, and the rest of the team. I never got to meet my great-grandfather or any of them (you), but I’ve always felt like I did.

In fact, that’s the ultimate reason behind this letter: I ached to honor him and I’ve been putting in order all his remaining letters, pictures, and memories so they don’t get lost forever, and there are many things I’m discovering through this journey. So many pictures and tiny details… and amongst them, you and the rest of the Commandos appear at the most random and memorable moments. Nothing that’s going to make it into history books, more like the stories my grandpa used to share with us over and over again, those important tidbits that make him more human.

Anyway, I was going through the pictures he kept when I came across some war photos that didn’t seem to match the 40s timeframe. Typical daguerreotypes from the 20s in a very bad state, probably taken with a camera from the era in 1944 and developed on a later date by somebody who clearly didn’t master the technique.

They were in a very bad state and hidden inside an envelope that said “Terribly drunk soldiers in France making idiots of ourselves in unique and creative ways. Fun evening, horrible hangover. About 20 miles west of the Maginot Line. Autumn ‘44”. I’m attaching a photocopy of that, I hope you can understand my decision to keep the original.

After restoring the daguerreotypes with some experts, all I got were five very bad pictures with silhouettes of people apparently having fun…. but there was one that got a lot better in the cleaning process that feels important somehow. I’m sending the original, as well as the restored version I got.

I, of course, don’t have the whole context, but I hope it brings back a good memory. My great-grandpa might be in the picture, but I don’t think this one belongs to my family or to a museum.

Thank you for your service, I really hope this letter finds its way to you.

E.Dernier.”

“I can’t believe… Steve, most days I’m convinced that day and that place are a figment of my imagination,” Bucky smiles, remembering. “When I think of a moment of pure joy during the war, I think about that afternoon in France, and it always feels unreal. A bubble of air and laughter while we were so surrounded by death.”

Steve nods, reminiscing about that warm and humid September morning when they arrived at yet another abandoned and destroyed little village, this one about twenty miles west of the Maginot Line. They had orders to lie low and wait for twenty-four hours before they started the maneuver to wipe another Hydra base off the map, and that little town was perfect for that.

Among bomb debris and fallen walls, they found one small building miraculously standing next to the remains of the church, so they decided to set camp under a roof for a change since the weather was being a little flickery with the rain, and they had the rare luxury of time.

The inside of the tiny house was as unusual as the outside: nothing was destroyed beyond being dusty and worn by time, and everything they found (furniture, kitchenware, and even fabrics) belonged more to Steve and Bucky’s early childhoods than to 1944, a living museum frozen in time.

Only it was not a museum, but the parish house left untouched and non-raided: old-fashioned clothes, outdated church books, yellowing clergy collars, and, of course, the wine cellar. Oh, that wine cellar… the havoc it unleashed.

“I remember the absolute excitement when Falsworth found all those bottles of old unscathed mass wine from the parish,” Steve brings his memory to words, looking at Bucky, “I’m still a little convinced that we are going to hell for drinking them.”

“Not for that, probably, but it was a wonder nobody died on the spot of wine poisoning, it tasted like sweet vinegar, ugh.”

“But it did his part, right? Took our minds off things; got us drunk, bold and silly.” Steve answers.

“Apparently not all of us,” Bucky says very seriously, looking at Steve.

“Technicalities… I got drunk by proxy. Seeing you all so happy made me giddy and tipsy, too.”

“I came and went… I remember being a little surprised at the clarity of my thoughts at some moments there when some of the guys were basically drooling on the floor. Now I understand, of course.”

Steve squeezes his hand, not much to be said there.

They were already way too drunk by the early afternoon, drinking to the sound of a sudden rainstorm pouring outside. All of them scattered across the small dusty living room and its adjoining kitchen while they went through all the bottles of wine they had been able to find. Cheering for the foregone priest every time somebody raised a glass, and laughing as if there were no ruins or war on the other side; just silly men (boys, really) laughing their hearts out.

“Earth to Steve… I don’t know about you, but I’m dying to see what the hell that envelope is hiding. Especially now that we know about its time stamp.”

“I’m sorry, me too! Gabe drunkenly handling that old camera and those glass plaques the way he did? I’m honestly impressed that he was able to take any pictures at all,” he muses. “Shit, is it weird that I’m nervous?”

“I’m gonna save us the bantering because I’m nervous, too,” Bucky answers in all sincerity. “Truth is, Steve, I remember everything about that day.”

It’s a new admission, a newly opened door for them because for some reason, they have never talked about that peaceful surreal afternoon, and Steve nods in recognition as he silently goes for the envelope one-handed, not wanting to let go of Bucky’s hand because his surface is way cooler than his wrenching insides. Maybe the picture is an overexposed french wall but maybe…

The photo he extracts from the envelope is clearly the original and damaged one Emmanuelle specified in his letter. Anybody else looking at it would see nothing beyond Dernier’s blurry profile, but since Steve and Bucky were there when this was taken, they know exactly what moment Steve is holding in his hand.

“Buck,…” is all Steve can say, struck by the blurry keepsake.

Later in the afternoon when they had already consumed most of the wine and there was not a single coherent thought left in the room, one of the guys took the parish books and besottedly announced that there was a wedding set for today… thirty years ago. Alcohol fueled a goofy idea that escalated at the speed of light, with Morita saying they were going to a wedding because they deserved a celebration, Dernier confessing that he had once considered becoming a priest, and Dum-dum bringing out all the old fashioned clothes from the wardrobe and deciding they were getting nice and clean for the festivities.

“That’s clearly Dernier in the picture killing it in his priest role, right?” Bucky says, half smiling and interrupting Steve’s thoughts. “You know, I went all-in with that fake wedding party. I was laughing to tears when I saw you put on that ridiculously long and ill-fitting jacket from the 10s, feeling weightless and silly for the first time since sailing off, and God knows we all deserved that. And it was all safe and light-hearted until fucking Morita decided you had to be the groom, and...”

“Were you jealous because I won the dashing groom competition?”

Steve’s attempt at a joke is weak, but there’s truth behind it: Morita chose Steve as the groom (“Cap, you are the most dashing and the least drunk”) to a chorus of excited voices cheering for him. Somebody else, most likely Dum-Dum, chose the rest of the roles (Sarge, best man duty; Jones, camera; Morita, keep the wine flowing; the rest of you, misbehave!) and in the blink of an eye, they were all going outside laughing under a light rain, and about to celebrate Steve’s fictional wedding to nobody.

“How could I be jealous?” Bucky cuts in. “Do you remember all you said to me that afternoon? During World War II and in front of a battalion of men?”

“I was drunk.”

“Fuck you!” Bucky disentangles his hand from Steve’s to use both of them to hold Steve’s face and kiss him with violence. “Tell me. Do you remember what you said?”

As if he could ever forget. He can recall every step he took from the house to the makeshift wedding spot amidst the trees where his best man (looking dapper even in that ludicrous jacket) was laughing along Dernier. He can still smell the petrichor, can still sense the blush coloring his cheeks while hoping nobody noticed and can still hear the beating of his heart when Bucky handed him a battered umbrella (“You don’t deserve to get rained on your wedding day, punk”) and a fucking ring made out his shoelaces (“You’ll have to buy something a little more permanent.”). And then…

“Dernier started the ceremony and he wanted to know if I had somebody in mind and I said ‘of course’.” He replays, his voice barely a whisper. “I said I’d had my eyes on a brown-haired Brooklynite since before I could remember. I said that I was pretty sure those blue eyes were set on mine too and that hopefully those eyes would be set enough to want to marry me even if I had never dared to ask.”

He’s been holding Bucky’s gaze the whole time, and he’s far from over yet, but he needs to fucking breathe before he goes on. Neither of them has moved a muscle for the past minute.

“Then he asked me to repeat the wedding vows after him and…”

“And you said Buck, right?”, Bucky interrupts, voice winded. “You fucking whispered I take you, Buck, as my lawful wedded husband till the end of the line. I heard, Steve. Even if the rest of the world didn’t, I did. But you never said anything, so I always deemed it impossible, a product of the corniest nook of my mind trying to outweigh all those bad things, because not even you could be as bold, reckless, and mushy as to do that,…it’s my fucking fault, I should have known better!”

“Not completely reckless, pal. I was scared shitless as I said those words, but what else could I do? You were right by my side about to put a ring on my finger as my “best man”, everyone, including you, supposedly drunk past recollection, and everybody else too far away to hear my whispers. It was such an easy choice in the end because truth should always win over fear. And those vows were. The truth.”

“You have always been too honest for your own good, Rogers,” Bucky is breathless and exasperated and goes for his mouth again, bringing in all he (they) couldn’t in 1944. “You destroyed me, Steve. My knees were as weak as a teenager’s in front of his first crush. I wanted to kiss you so badly when I heard you say all that there in the open… and I couldn’t even acknowledge it.”

“I know. And for what it's worth, I really thought you didn’t remember.”

It is too much. Is it normal to feel this much? Steve would blame it on the serum enhancements, but he was already overwhelmed at 16, so that’s clearly not the answer.

He craves, no, he needs touching, grounding, closer. Bucky. There’s too much space between them even if they are back to kissing like they would have that day in 44, and at any other time if their own lives wouldn’t have stolen those moments from them.

“It happened.” Bucky whimpers, biting on Steve’s lip who abandons his own stool to straddle him, both of them gasping in sync at the feeling of their cocks, hard against each other’s through their soft pants.

Bucky soon ups the stakes by carding his metal hand through Steve’s hair pulling his head backwards to help himself into that spot on his neck.

“Same two moles as when you were tiny, as when we were at that war... Your cute vampire bite. Favorite spot.” He licks on them with the tip of his tongue. Steve growls on cue and Bucky giggles. “Favorite chain reaction.”

“Buck, you cheater, you know what that does to me!” Steve cries out followed by Bucky’s evil chuckle.”Bed, couch, countertop,…I don’t care, but naked. Now. Stained pants due to heavy petting are too much of a trip down memory lane for me. Let me keep a bit of my dignity.”

Steve stands up liberating Bucky from his grip but aching at the loss of contact.

They are naked and making out in the middle of the kitchen in no time; Bucky steadily pushing him against the refrigerator while fiercely grinding against his crotch.

“Hey, ‘teve,” Bucky pants. “The way this is going, it’s my dignity now that's at risk. I don’t think I can make it further than the floor before I come.”

Steve groans into his mouth just at the thought and they start sliding to the floor the best they can until he’s a human blanket moving over Bucky. With no lube at hand, and no time, that’s their best option.

They kiss and kiss and kiss, his hands not leaving Bucky’s sweaty hair. Bucky’s hands on his ass, forcing their groins closer with one while he (almost absently) plays around his hole with the other, driving Steve crazy in the process. Dicks left to do their own thing through pressure and friction. Everything is working. And fast.

“Oh, fuck!” Bucky exclaims “Can you promise me all this stuff with the letter was real and not a long-con plan to assure your fragile masculinity that I love you more than I love that espresso machine?”

That. That silly unfunny excuse of a joke that screams Bucky all over is what pushes Steve all the way over the edge. He fucking laughs as he comes making absolutely embarrassing sounds, pressing their foreheads and noses together until it hurts, and shaking from head to toe without stoping his pressure on the stupid and smug man under him. His lover. His partner. His unofficial husband. His best friend.

His Buck.

“There’s still too much blood in your brain if you can play that dirty,” Steve states, placing one hand between them grabbing Bucky’s hard cock. “Let’s see if I can do anything about it.”

“Your hand, usually so helpful, but I was already following you after that sound you make when you come and laugh at the same time, shit, it always goes straight to my dick, I’m,…” he keeps talking with difficulty between breaths and moans until he leaves his speech unfinished coming all over Steve’s fist.

They kiss on the lips breathing into each other before Steve rolls over. They are sticky and panting in silence, spread on their kitchen’s floor, Steve’s shoulders crushed between Bucky’s and the dishwasher. Domestic bliss at its most literal.

One lavish fuck and two showers later they reemerge into the kitchen in search of something to eat: Bucky is in charge of the food today, while Steve cleans the mess they left a couple of hours ago.

He’s decluttering the counter when their damaged picture laying there puts a smile on his face but also reminds him of the restored version presumably still waiting inside the disregarded letter, so he grabs the envelope to retrieve its contents: one photocopy (from Dernier’s original writing), and the promised photo.

And it is restored. Everything is clear where it was blurry before: Dernier (so deep into his priest impersonation that he’s not even looking at them), the trees, the battered umbrella, the ridiculous jackets… and them.

“You had the nerve to call me reckless and mushy, Buck?” Steve laughs as he stares at the picture where a very young Bucky is about to put a ring on his finger with the least subtle lovestruck expression he’s ever seen (“and it’s for you”, his brain proudly reminds him) “Wow, you might as well be kissing me there, anything would be more subtle than this!”

“Don’t shame me, you punk, especially not when you were the one responsible for breaking my brain back then!” Bucky answers coming from behind and stealing the picture from his hands to scrutinize it. Goofy grin and raging blush quickly taking over his face. “But you’re one to talk, Cap. You are gazing at that shoelace’s ring as if I were handing you a diamond tiara!”

Steve laughs softly at that and moves his right hand to his pocket, feeling the weight of the little compass he had retrieved earlier from one of his drawers. He used to carry it with him everywhere for comfort, but he has a better option now.

“Didn't you know that shoelaces are forever?” He asks, taking the compass out of his pocket and holding it in both hands as he opens it, nudging Bucky with his elbow to get his attention.

Bucky is confused for an instant while he looks at his young face staring at them from inside the little box. Of course he knew that (he made fun of Steve for days and days) but Steve detects the change in his expression when he notices the other thing.

“Wow, you gigantic sap,” Bucky says, taking the compass out of his hands to double-check he is seeing what he thinks he’s seeing. “You saved my shoelace.”

He had. While they were all celebrating his wedding under the rain dancing to no music, he quietly slipped the little string off his finger and tied it to the most secure place he had back then.

“It’s not a shoelace, you jerk, it’s a symbol. A declaration.” He laughs, stealing the compass back to safely pocket it again.

“You are delusional,” Bucky snorts, kissing the top of his head. But he’s widely smiling and lost in thought as he goes back to their sandwiches.

Steve stays on the spot enjoying the peace in their silent companionship, his focus on the latest news showing up on his phone, the text he’s writing to Sam and the comforting sounds of Bucky moving around the kitchen.

“You might have married me, but I never actually married you.” Bucky blurts out of the blue a bit later, sitting by his side as he hands him a plate with a sandwich and some grilled greens on it. “Do you want mayo with that?”

“Uh?” Steve forgets all about the news and the text and looks at Bucky in confusion.

“Mayo, do you want some?” Bucky repeats nonchalantly.

“No mayo, thank you; but I was actually more interested in the other part, you know, that thing about marriage?”

Bucky looks him in the eye: earnest, blushing and with the same look of smug adoration he had on the picture.

“Oh, that part.” He jokes. “You apparently married me in 1944, but I never married you back. And I would like to.”

“Marry me?” Steve asks and Bucky visibly nods.

“I’m sorry for throwing the idea at you like this, books tell me I'm supposed to have candles, music, and a ring, but you showed me that restored picture and I couldn't stop thinking about it, about proof,” Bucky speaks uncharacteristically slow and very softly, voice trembling here and there while he claps his hand with Steve’s finger by finger for reassurance and as a distraction. “A single photo had the power to transform a moment that existed just as a made-up happy place inside my mind into something tangible and real. Something that would be tangible and real for anybody getting a hold on it and looking at our stupid faces.”

“So stealthy,” Steve says, and they both laugh together.

“Proof, Steve. I was slicing tomatoes and thinking how there’s so much evidence, thousands of files! out there proving that all the stuff that fuels my nightmares were real, but nothing solid about this. Us.” Bucky stops for a moment collecting his thoughts, still smiling even with the heavy subject he just dropped into the mix. “Sorry, I believe I put more time into these sandwiches than into thinking this all the way through so I’m…”

“Take your time, we’ve gone from mayo to marriage to nightmares in five minutes so don’t worry, you have me hooked here.”

Steve makes Bucky laugh again as he intended, and he feels their calloused laced fingers immediately squeezing closer.

“It’s stupid because it doesn’t change anything for us but,.. I don’t fucking know, Steve, I think that picture has messed up with my mind! I instantly found comfort in the idea of people finding facts beyond the nightmares now or in the future. An easy to understand, universal and oversimplified proof of how much I loved you and how much I was loved in return.” Bucky takes a breath and stares at him sporting a million-watt smile. “Marrying you,… I would really love that. And for real this time.”

“Ok, Buck.” Steve instantly replies, eagerness winning over thoughtful and heartfelt declarations. He tightens the grip on their joined hands to drive them to his lips and seals the easiest answer he’s ever had to give.

And it's done!Sorry for the cavities, for going on with the fic when it should have ended and for ending it where it might have had to keep going. It was painful and fun. I'm free!

[lighthouseas]

for the fanfic questions: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 11, 13, 16, 17, 22, 23, 26 and 27!

Hiiii thanks so much for sending an ask!! It's much appreciated!

What was the first fandom you got involved in?

It's gotta be Pokemon lol. I've been obsessed with Pokemon for years, starting when I was a little kid, and it was the first real "fandom" that I ever considered myself a part of (even if I didn't know the word "fandom" yet lol)

2. What is your latest fandom?

There's quite a few, but I'd say it'd have to be heartstopper! I recently watched the show and seriously fell in love with every single aspect of it. Nick is my comfort bisexual. I want to buy the comics so bad :/

3. What is the best fandom you've ever been involved in?

This is a great question that I honestly don't have the answer to! Every fandom I've been in/am currently in has been wonderful in their own ways, even with the bad apples, and I can't really decide on which one I like the best!

4. Do you regret not getting involved in any fandoms?

I would say yes, but the main reasoning for not getting involved is because I haven't taken in the media involved with said fandom lol. I really wanted to get involved with TOH fandom but I've never actually seen the show and don't have disney+ (luckily though I found an...alternate way to watch it hehe)

5. Which fandoms have you written fanfiction for?

As of right now, just Pokemon! Pokemon is what I feel most confident in writing, especially since I have a whole entire fankid AU that I made and am still developing as of right now. Also, Pokemon is like, my entire life so there's that.

11. Who is your current OTP?

Oh no...don't make me choose...too many.../hj I suppose right now I really like DawnxPaul though. Maybe a bit too much because now all the oneshots I write are centered around them lol

13. Any NoTPs?

Honestly, I don't think so, unless it's like incest/pedophilia/just generally wrong or illegal. Otherwise I don't think there's a ship that I'd truly consider a "NoTP".

16. Are there any popular ships in your fandom which you dislike?

I don't know if it counts as "popular" within the anipoke fandom but I do know people support GohxChloe. Of course, I'm not going to go hating on the ship, it's cute, but I personally don't really like it because I don't think it fits their dynamic very well. But hey, if you support it, all the power to you!

17. Who was your first OTP and are they still your favorite?

My first OTP (though at the time I didn't know the term) was rocketshipping/jessiexjames/kojimusa/whatever you wanna call it. I still adore the ship to this day and fully believe they are bisexual disasters in love

22. Is there anything you regret writing?

All I'll say is if you've ever played "Frantic Fanfic" like I have, you will come out with far too many stories you regret writing...*shivers*

23. Name a fic you've written that you're especially fond of & explain why you like it.

I really liked the fic that I wrote called "Just Two Hours". It's a little oneshot about my ikarishipping twins, Raye and Isa. I'm fond of it because it was simple and cute and honestly, rereading it now, I still think it captures their personalities pretty perfectly. I actually posted it to tumblr a few months back, so if you wanna read it, read it here.

26. How do you come up with your fanfic titles?

Some of them just come to mind, some of them I come up with after writing a bit of the story. Some of them are also slightly symbolic! For example, the title "Blue Ribbon" of my amourshipping story that I'm currently writing comes from not only Serena's blue ribbon that Ash gave her, but also the notion that a blue ribbon means getting first place in something- symbolizing how during the story, Ash wants to become the Champion and Serena wants to win the title of Kalos Queen.

27. What do you hate more: Coming up with titles or writing summaries?

Hmm...I'd have to say writing summaries is definitely more challenging for me. A title doesn't have to be long, while a summary is several sentences. Sometimes I struggle with coming up with a summary that will draw potential readers in, which can be pretty frustrating.

[maraudersftw]

short version of this comment: just the words oh my god recurring over and over

OKAY OKAY so y'know the sherlock bbc series? those wonderful, perfect, my absolute favourite episodes?? i've been watching them since 2017 and i'm still not over ANY of the four seasons or their twists. i also avoid first person fics because it feels weird now that i only write in third person. everyone who knows me knows i don't much like reading unfinished fics cause lord knows i've had my heart broken too many times at the line 'last updated 2009' i have also NEVER in my life terrified my mother with the extent of my screams. and also never spammed anyone with these many messages over a single chapter (still isn't enough to cover the depth of my surprise and awe), and my jaw has dropped to the floor far too many times to count but oh my fucking GOD HOW did you get me to break every rule i've had self imposed since i entered the fandom and make me not regret it ONE bit

but THIS chapter is literally better than the aforementioned series (which is the highest comment i can think to say and it STILL falls short) and i'm in complete absolute awe and every known synonym of it. this chapter added a decade to my lifespan oh my god literal genius i was on the fucking EDGE of my seat the REALNESS OF EACH SCENE i'm trying to think of all the things i felt since the starting—THE STARTING!!! james and lily as children and already breaking my heart, it was so cute and really blindsided me for the angst and tension that came later XD

terrifying, overprotective sirius gave me chills you know how much i've said i adore your sirius. multiply that times hundred. still doesn't cover how much i love this version of him (again, oh my GOD)

the parallel sent SO many more chills and no that's eye sweat not tears shut up

then THE ACTUAL GOD SCENE!! my head was in my hands and i genuinely can't say i've been more surprised or in love with james for that scene and though i don't have the abilities to, i really want to paint him (doubt it would do your description justice though) then the chills at the parting scene and lily begging sirius 😭😭

all in all, just....chills

i think i'll just stop here until this becomes a full fledged essay lol

(also, you don't have to post this, i just feel like i really need to tell you that i'm not going to recover from this anytime soon <33)

Sel. My love. I know I've taken an age to respond to this ask, and even though you said I didn't have to post this, I'm still going to because this is seriously one of the nicest things anyone has ever said about my writing, and I want to be shameless in sharing it with the world.

I've reread this message so many times, but I still cannot find the words to thank you enough for telling me all these things.

The fact that you're reading Retribution despite not loving first-person POV in itself means so much to me, but then you tack on all of those compliments, say things like you want to paint one of my scenes, and expect me to not lose my absolute mind? 😭😭 Thank you, thank you SO much! This fic is so close to my heart, and it is, without a doubt, the most complex thing I've written, and it takes me an age to write a chapter because I'm so immersed in Lily's mind when I'm writing it, so you have no idea how much all of this means to me.

Really, truly love you!

[icharchivist]

Hi same nonny as usual haha! You asked for my thoughts on the spring troupe so now that I've finished the summer troupe debut I'm going to knock out two birds with one stone! I liked summer troupe a lot more then spring troupe. Not that I didn't like spring troupe! I just think that they didn't really communicate with each other?

The only reason why sakuyas issue with swordfighting was resolved was because masumi happened to be eavesdropping on a convo with the director, and why someone knew about itarus injury was because of citron noticing. I'm not saying there was no communication at all these two issues just. Bothered me so much the swordfighting one a lot more then the injury. The thing that bothers me about the injury is that itaru wasn't like. Told off for not telling anyone about his injury. Cause he could have seriously damaged his foot or something. I get that in the future there's probably going to be character development for itaru that lets him open up more to his troupemates. The swordfighting one just felt like a cop out to have a "moment" between sakuya and the director instead of having sakuya discuss that stuff with his troupe (which, bleh do not care for the characters flirting with the director at all. wish it wasn't there but I get why they do it.)

Despite my griping I did really enjoy spring troupe! They were fun! They just felt less trusting of each other then summer troupe at the end of day. And I get that char Dev will prob happen bout that but still haha. That's my thoughts on spring troupe! I could just be horribly misremembering the entire episode but oh well!

I know I said I'd also do summer troupe in this ask but it's already horribly long and I'm writing this on my phone. I'll get to that later. Thanks for reading my rambling that has not been proofread at all or edited. Hopefully it makes some sense hahaha. Thanks for introducing me to a3 it's tons of fun.

aaahh thanks for sharing!!!

honestly i kinda get where you’re coming from. I really love Spring, but it’s especially now in insight of their development. On first read, i think the thing especially was that the chapter was more about setting up some of the most major issues of the universe (the debts, the way  to arrange themselves in that new environment ect..) that therefore the characters issues may be not as focused as the others chapters?

(also for character flirting with MC there will be only 2 in main stories that do that a lot, one of which is Masumi, and the other isn’t much flirting as just hopelessly in love. Not much we can do about it but honestly once you move on from spring if this really holds you down, it will ease off at least, even if there’s a few thingss here and there stil)

Summer was the moment i really fell in love with the game, i really, really adore Summer’s dynamic and it was just. so good to go through.

As for the things you bring up about Spring, on one hand on first read i think i get you, but yeaaaah in insight of all we learn about the characters, it’s really not that far fetched ahah.

For Sakuya imo it’s really just that he freaked out because of his abandon issues and i don’t really see him discussing it with Spring yet at this point? Like. Sakuya is terrified of not being good enough and being abandoned as a result, like all of his relatives ever did. So he tries to compensate. When Masumi just brought up that they’ll just replace him, i don’t find it far fetched that Sakuya freaked out about it and failed to explain it to Masumi at the time. 

Those very same issues also lead Sakuya to hold on everything bad ever to himself. The reason he opens up to Izumi, more than her just coming to him there, is that she already proved before that she wasn’t willing to abandon him, if only by how she took up the theater because of his passion to start with. And, just, timingwise. 

And i think Sakuya wouldn’t have taken reassurances from his others troupesmates who have already made clear they believed in him, because i think Sakuya would be more crushed with the idea that they’re just being polite and kind with him. Because he knows he’s failing and the others’s way to reassure him would probably have made it worse. He needed reassurance 1) from the director who at this point has already started to be giving more constructive critisms, 2) Masumi, who’s the one who caused those insecurities by the fact he doesn’t hold back. But i don’t see him reach of to Masumi with how hostile Masumi has been to everyone up until that point. (i have more thoughts but that’d be me overreading it too but dKJFDLKF a3 makes my brain go brr)

As for Masumi, this kid has serious communication issues (only child with no friends and no parents around? oof) and i don’t think he would have reached out to Sakuya or even figured something was wrong otherwise.

Are those just easy way out for the writers? maybe, but that’s just how writing is isn’t it? if you want to make even some “artificial” conflict, you need to make it believable why this conflict exist even in the first place. 

Honestly the swordfighting issue doesn’t strike like that to me, and those are all about things that are shown in the Spring chapter itself, but i suppose since i also know those things are expended on, it does add a layer of “this was made with depth for their characters in mind” imo.

Also i think if Masumi hadn’t eardropped, Izumi would have talked to him about it, being the mediator and all of that, and i think Masumi would have understood then. I don’t think Masumi was unwilling to understand, but that he lacked the groundwork to understand it. and we mostly were spared from having to repeat the scene with Izumi telling him about it.

Idk if i see Sakuya managing to tell it to Masumi even after this talk? I think Sakuya is the kind to take all of his pain in silence and assume responsibilities for everything that goes wrong, and i don’t think he would have felt comfortable opening up with that, especially since, as he tells Izumi, he genuinely feels like *he’s* the failure about it (and as Izumi tells him, it’s not his fault if others people don’t try either. Sakuya was made to believe that he had to take full responsibility when a relationship doesn’t work because of his relatives, and i think he was set on doing the same with this Massu’s situation, and the reason he could share it with Izumi is because she’s not the person he’s taking responsibility for). On top of that, Sakuya remains Masumi’s elder, and Sakuya does want to be someone people rely on - he wants to be a big brother figure, and i think he wouldn’t have wanted or known how much of this responsibility he could share with Masumi knowing that. And i don’t think it’s healthy! but it’s perfectly understandable from Sakuya’s perspective and the specific way he shoulders responsibilities because i will fistfight his family his family sucked.

As for Itaru, on this one we only got the reveals about how deep this lack of trust Itaru had for people ran only recently, so imo early on you just need to take it at face value and hope when you get to know more, it’ll click. Realizing he doesn’t want to be alone anymore and wants to be more with Spring is a turning point from this set up about him, so he can only develop from here.

For why no one really told him off about it, i guess i can understand the grip ahah. imo i think everyone worried already enough that he was talking about leaving the company this was the priority to discuss and i do think talking about his ankle at that point may have not worked with the pacing of the emotional moment. I wouldn’t have minded seeing some of them being more worried about it in general though.

In the end the thing with Spring is that aside from Tsuzuru, they are all people who come from background where communication isn’t their forte. Sakuya fears he’s never good enough, Masumi never even had to face how lonely his life had made him until now (and i think he specifically lashes on the director because it’s the first time he feels like he wants a connection with anyone in his life and he doesn’t know what to do with it. I find his obsession creepy imo but i also see where it’s coming from), Itaru has severe trust issues and rather be solo in general, and Citron hides a lot about himself.

and i think, we have Tsuzuru has never been really alone ever, and he takes a lot of responsibility, (though there’s a few things about his background we learn later that shows he still has similar struggles than the rest of his troupe regarding some.. broken connection, which he vagues at in the Spring chapter (... which is something i only noticed on my reread knowing that so i wouldn’t blame you for not catching it))  but he’s also trying to do things for himself for once in his life. Ultimately he knows how to communicate more in general but he has that going on for him, and especially, i think his way to communicate or connect may be too foreign for the rest of the troupe for a smooth connection off the bat.

All of them are trying to connect in their own ways coming from those complicated feelings they have about connection imo... and i do find it fascinating. 

I see Spring a lot like, the kids who had to grow up too fast and the adults who are unhappy with where their adult lives have taken them and the expectations pushed upon them who yet are trying to cope on their own mostly because they have reasons to feel unsafe otherwise. (Tsuzuru is a bit in between imo bc he’s not “unsafe” yet and he’s already taking himself back in hands with the expectations things, but anyway, i am. trying to keep it short, believe it or not) And they’re still navigating where that leaves them as people, and where that leaves them in their connection with others, and especially with each other because in the end they’re all yearning to connect especially with one another, and just don’t know how to reconcile this desire with who they have been all this time to cope through all of this.

All of this is present in the Spring intro chapter but ^^” i could imagine that without having the full picture those aren’t things that may be easily picked up as important for their characterizations. But honestly there’s a throve of details in the writing to flesh them out when you know where to look and i find it fascinating. (but also i like. relived this chapter 5 times, 4 of which after i’ve seen most of their development, and my first read is so long ago i think i just overthink everything DLKJFDLKF and like, Spring was one of my least favorite at first read bc i struggled to connect with them, so it’s not like i don’t get you, it’s just. nowadays, spring is care spring is love and i cry over their intro chap a lot.)

Anyway i guess i get what you felt still, but, idk maybe i feel strongly about it ahah, i like the way the characters stand out from one another even in the moments that are probably just.. stupid, but in a “they wouldn’t know how to do better because of what’s holding them back” way.

i feel like “lack of communication” is a problem every troupe have to various degree and for different reasons, but the whole thing is about trying to figure out how to fix that and work it with them. Some are more forward than others (like, Summer, mostly because Tenma and Yuki are stubborn and loud and straightforward in their own way)(”than others” i have so much to say about this i’m holding back dLKFJD) but i think it depends also a lot on some thematic it wants to tackle and the spirit of the characters in each troupe. It changes as the story progresses but yeah after all, they are all strangers. And while the game mentions they have a few months to prepare for their play, it was reckoned that every play takes one month to prepare, so it doesn’t really give a lot of time on their first play to really figure out everything they need to work on.

Spring, in essence, as a season, is about blooming back after Winter, after sadness and hardship, and learning how to slowly open up again. So imo their intro chap have to reflect that slow progress for them. While Summer can afford to be more loud, straight to the point (and even there it’s not always easy), Summer is full of learning from their mistake, living in the Now, in the Moment. So their season thematic reflects a bit in their intro chap at least. (ofc they all grow from there though but that’s still interesting imo).

anyway i rambled LDFJDLKFJFDLK

I didn’t mean it in a way to say your reading is invalid though!! sorry if it feels that way, i’ve tried rewriting it a few times DLKFJDLFK i just have a lot of emotions about Spring and the points you mentioned made me think about some stuff about it. 

ANYWAY

if you want to share your thoughts about summer too and the rest you’re always welcomed o7 i’m glad you’re still enjoying your stay, and i hope you’ll keep enjoying the ride!

And Take care!

[88thparallel]

hey, love! I've got a flight this afternoon - any long fics you'd recommend I download to keep me preoccupied?

Oooh yes! Where to begin? I’m trying to stay away from some of those that have been super hot in the fandom lately and put some on here that haven’t been recc’d lately... we have such a talented fandom this is so hard to do!

An Innocent Man - Fangs_Fawn - T - 184k"And what about John Watson?" Sherlock had asked. He had expected a rather dull answer...after all, he had been away. He had not expected to hear that John had spent the past two years in prison. Series 3 AUThis first fic I found last year and recently reread, and it’s the kind of story I was so engrossed in, I couldn’t stop and when it was over I felt like there was a void in my life 😂 It doesn’t have romance or official “Johnlock” so I think it gets passed over and it really shouldn’t because their relationship in this goes on such a journey it’s amazing (and with everything that happens in this story, a romantic subplot doesn’t really fit in anyway)

The Breaking Wheel - @jbaillier​ - M - 93kHis immune system is decimating his nervous system - a civil war raging inside of him. Is there a reaction he's supposed to be having to this news, now? Something normal: cry, scream, pound the wall? Shake his fist at the uncaring universe? John can't stop this. An uncomfortable bed at some hospital ward isn't going to stop this. They keep telling him that this will most likely pass, but no one is answering the most important question: how will he be able to endure the uncertainty and the long wait?

(Part of a larger, AMAZING series, “On Pins and Needles,” which follows Sherlock from youth with the AMAZING 2007 co-written by @7-percent​)

The Burning Heart - @may-shepard - M - 119kWhen Sherlock dies, John Watson feels like his life is over too. He’s completely shut down, until Mark Morstan, a new nurse at John’s medical clinic, catches his attention, and helps him uncover the long buried truth of his attraction to men.Although he’s certain he’ll never get over Sherlock, John plans to move on, and build a new life with Mark, unaware that Sherlock is not quite as dead as he appears, and that Mark is hiding secrets of his own.

Sherlock Holmes, undercover lover - @fellshish - E - 51kWhen the celebrity bachelor on a dating show begins receiving death threats, Sherlock goes undercover as a contestant to try and solve the puzzle before it's too late. Problem: he doesn't know how to seduce people. Who better than John 'three continents' Watson to provide seduction tips? It's not gay if you're helping out a friend. (This is such a fun fic, and will seriously leave you laughing so hard when it isn’t twisting you up with angst. Brilliant.)

The Fallen Series - @engazed​ - E - 500k 

This is one of my all-time favorite series by one of my all-time favorite authors, but it isn’t for the faint of heart (heed the warnings). Still, the way Engazed writes is absolutely stunning, with plot points in the first story only now coming to fruition as she finishes the last 6 years later. Stellar. I have reread this whole series multiple times, which based on the length (the whole series is over 500k), should tell you how amazing it really is. 

The series is made up of:

Ten Days - E - 137kSherlock Holmes has been dead for forty months, and John is at last beginning to live his life again. But just when he believes he might be happy, his world crashes back down around him.John is named a missing person. Someone is pointing DI Lestrade in the wrong direction. And as the days pass, his situation only grows more dire. It seems like the disappearance of his best friend is the only thing that can bring Sherlock Holmes back from the dead.

The Slash Man - E - 281k After ten days of unspeakable torture at the hands of Sherlock's worst enemies, John Watson has returned to Baker Street to live with a man whose death, no matter how fake, still haunts him. But his recovery is not easy, his friendship with Sherlock is strained, and a dangerous but hidden menace continues to threaten them both.

Blackbird, Fly - E - 152k (WIP)It's been six months since John Watson's kidnapping and brutal treatment at the hands of Sherlock's enemies. It's been six weeks since the demise of the notorious killer the Slash Man. Now Sherlock and John must work together to defeat Moriarty once and for all, in the greatest fight of their lives.

Saccharomyces cerevisiae (Baker's Yeast) - @yaycoffee - E - 61kSometimes, one makes an imprudent decision born of a devastating combination of drink and sentiment. Sometimes, the consequences of that decision take on a life of their own. And sometimes, the facing of those consequences shapes every aspect of one's life--from the hugely meaningful down to the seemingly insignificant. (After a night of disgruntled and jealous drinking, Sherlock and Sally Donovan end up in bed together and Sally gets pregnant, but this is definitely a Johnlock story and one of the best I’ve read this year. Podfic by @lockedinjohnlock-podfics available too. I cried no fewer than 4 times)

Keep Your Eyes Fixed on Me - @elldotsee - M - 27k"It's never the fall that kills you, it's the landing"Nothing to theorize here- Sherlock jumped, and all The Queen's horses might not be able to put him together again. Sherlock was gravely injured when he hit the pavement. John is by his side, but things are a bit not good for both of them.

Fan Mail - @scullyseviltwin - E - 54k “WatsonChick143 has been rather maniacal in her commenting as of late... she’s left comments on everything you’ve posted John, something so obvious can’t have escaped even your attention."

Rosethorne - @suitesamba - M - 99kJohn Watson, WWII army doctor, is injured in the line of duty and can no longer wield a scalpel. Sherlock Holmes, Britain's best code-breaker, is side-lined by his own devastating injury. In a work inspired by Frances Hodgson Burnett's "The Secret Garden," the two men must find meaning and purpose in a world which seems to have taken away all they hold most dear. But of course, it really hasn't. Podfic available from @lockedinjohnlock-podfics

Hopefully you’ll find one (or a few) things on this list to while away the hours on your flight! I am struggling not to go reread all of these right now... too much to do today for that! Safe travels! ❤️

[bangtanblessed]

Full thoughts on chapter four of @venusiangguk 's dilf jk series

Whew chile,

This is gonna be long but here we go.

I just reread the series for the first time in a long while. I wanted to make sure you were back and ok before i read it again. It has taken me months to anylze and maybe even see if my feelings chance towards how bad my heart was ripped out but nope still the same so now that I have lets get into it.

First, Dasom. I do not like her. However this is only in the way you don’t like someone because of their first impression but you know they're probably not a bad person or anything. We’ve seen characters like hers from the other side plenty of times where we are rooting for them. The character that goes to see the ex only to be confronted with a new lover and had we been following dasom’s story we'd feel like we hate the oc and/or jk but this story isn’t about her. She is very important because she is Nari’s mom but I still dislike her. She's a bit like jade, in that she may be saying something that's true but her delivery and lack of knowledge on the situation lends to being kind of a bitch. 

Now Mr. JK. Hmm you got yo ass eaten now you wanna act up? Lmao IM JUST KIDDING! I HAD TO SAY IT XD ok seriously, this is the dad you want. Imma get personal for a half a second ok, but my dad always made sure i and anyone he dated knew i was #1 which is what you want. Good on JK for that but he needs to remember that he is still a person. It's not selfish to have a self. As long as your child is top priority you can be a top priority too. He didn't handle that well though. He may think he's being adult and rational but not completely. I hate when people are still so young but they act old. When you're actually old you'll regret it. He's not even 30 yet and their age gap isn't even double digits. You're telling me it's less than a decade between you and you're making yourself seem 40? [redacted lmao] Anway, I respect him for putting his daughter first. That is the type of parent you want however he shouldn't have decided what's best for oc. Yes hes saying she should think about it and all that but he isn't really leaving much for discussion. On the other side, i get being a little blindsided by Dasom and the things she said and also not really wanted to have thart conversation with her but damn jungkook that was a little fucked. He needs to tell her that they literally met BECAUSE of Nari. She immediately hit it off with her and though he could have distanced them and drawn better boundaries it makes sense that she sees nari sometimes. She literally met Nari first. And oc is not stupid, hopefully it was obvious that alot of those things could be down the pipeline if they stay together but you can’t just spring that on someone and say they dont want that. DONT TELL ME WHAT I DO OR DONT WANT! I get what he's saying but wow.

Something i've thought about so much was, when was he going to bring it up with oc had she not mentioned she was upset or had she not heard them talking? I've wondered so much about that because he was carrying on business as usual (well not exactly bc you could tell it affected him but you get it)

Ive literally had so many dreams about this chapter like whew i cant even.

Now Miss OC, the young woman that is in the center of all of this. I hope she is able to grow beyond this well. It hurts just reading it so if this was real I can't even imagine. There are things she has to learn since she is so young but she also is not stupid. She's so much better than me, trying to smile in the end before saying she will think about it and let him know because a btich definitely would be thinking but aint no way im smiling. I'm going stone faced, quietly getting dressed and staying as far away from that mf as possible while i’m leavin. I also love her willingness to listen. I would have been throwing back like *snaps fingers* that! Like no jungkook you clearly don't care about me as much as you think you do because if you did it wouldn’t have been so easy to plant that doubt. She shut your ass up so hard with things you should have at least responded to that now I have doubt in MY heart. Instead of talking this out better you're trying to scare me off. Well I'm not scared but i'm sure as hell doubtful of how much you want me around.

But of course that would have been too fanfic expected in a way, not that its bad and its all valid

All in all this chapter was such a nice read. So good! The characters are well written, well thought out people who feel so real and all have genuine reasons for what they're saying and feeling. Nothing feels like the thrown together project from a single idea that leads to a lackluster conflict with underdeveloped caricatures. Like I said, Dasom feels very real, with her own motivations and love for her daughter. Jungkook is a man that cherishes his daughter while also being in a relationship with someone that he genuinely enjoys being around. OC feels like a character that is where I was kind of at that age, being looked upon like a child by older people but also not quite knowing what she wants but wanting to be happy. There is so much I could not get across while writing this because I want to be coherent and not typing for 4 days but I get every character's side and everyone that replies’ points this is just mainly what I think while reading this.

[roccinan]

Hi there! I'm the anon who was excited about Substitution and I'm back again! So I promised you I would write my thoughts on this masterpiece of a fic about five days ago - and I did. But stupid old me forgot to *actually* post this as an ask, so this has just been sitting there in my Google Docs for almost a week... But, better late than never, right?

So, first of all I would like to note that what you write simply is magic! I have read all of your fics, including the Broken Mirror series, and I was so suprised how much I enjoyed them??? I usually don't like some of the topics you wrote about, especially in Pinocchio, because realistic, human looking, robots are like the only thing that can truly get to me and scare me to death. Like, that is my #2 fear (#1 is wasps, scary creatures of hell). But I loved all of your fics so much, the way you write just really draws me in, like a siren and makes me read and enjoy, -love, even- some topics that I usually tend to steer (far, far) away from.

So, onto Substitution. The beginning? Perfect! You got me interested directly from the first word. The way you switch between Roberto explaining what happened and actually showing what happened is just beautiful and a very interesting perspective. Also - the part about the roses, ughh, I loved it so much, it's such a beautiful (and accurate) metaphor. The part about paint and blood too is poetic cinema.

I'm seriously trying so hard here to write something eloquent about this work of art you've made, but to be honest: you've taken my power of speech away or something sksks. I literally cannot form a coherent sentence or explain *why* I love your writing, because it simply is too good. Like, taking away my power of speech good, apparently hahaha.

I love the way you write Martín, he's such an asshole and I love him for it. The fact that he also is a dom in this fic even makes it better, because it is a trope that I definitely enjoy but (in my honest opinion) is barely written about. But Roberto, I just feel the instinct to hug him and protect him with my life. Literally a few sentences in I already went like: "I've only had Roberto for a sentence and a half but if anything happened to him I would kill everyone in this room and then myself". He just is so pure and I love him so so so much already, the poor man deserves so much and life's not gonna give him a break...

Your writing style is so good as well, I could see the whole story playing out so vividly in front of me, as if I was standing in the same room as them, as if I was a stranger at the same bar, as if I was hearing Roberto explaining his story to me. The way you write, the sentences just flow so well, it's amazing to read. I truly don't know if I'm making myself clear here srgjnosr, I usually write reactions to things with keyboard smashes, emojis and "hahaha"'s of various lengths. But I figured it would probably be better if I were to write something slightly more eloquent of nature. Well, I am not sure if I have succeeded in that task, but I hope you like my sort of review (?) of the beautiful piece of art that is Substitution.

Hi anon!! Oh wow, omg, thank you so much for stopping by and taking the time to leave this review adfasdfasdf really an amazing surprise that made my day, completely unexpected, and makes me feel all sorts of warm and fuzzy inside :’D

(Actual photo of me)

I’m so happy you enjoyed this story! Ah, so glad you had fun with the Broken Mirror series in general. Truly flattered that you even read through Pinocchio and the creepy doll Andres XD (and wasps are a valid fear!). Really makes me happy to know that you enjoy my writing enough to stick around for all of this!

re: Substitution: Glad you like Roberto’s perspective! I was a bit worried that the “therapy” scenes would feel too cheesy haha. But I did have fun with the switches and some of the metaphors (especially the rose and blood/paint!), so very glad that you enjoyed them as well. 

Oh, you’re more than eloquent! I’m sure it’s my reply that’s just a keysmash asdfasdff because that’s literally how I feel XD joy bursting from the heart! Oh gosh, I don’t know if my writing has that power, but it is an HONOR to know you felt for it as much as you did *SOBS*

Glad you like Martín in this!! I think besides “blood and bones,” this is the first time I’m really going all-in with his asshole side so it’s great to know you enjoy him :) And yes! Dom Martín, I’ve noticed, is pretty rare and not something I’ve experimented with either, but it felt right for this fic and I actually enjoyed writing him this way a lot more than I thought I would haha.

Ah, really means a LOT to know you like Roberto so much!! I wasn’t sure how people would feel about this story being so heavily focused on an OC, so super glad that you feel for him :’) He’s starting to grow on me too even though I initially created him to be berlermo’s victim. The poor guy just wants to take his kids to the zoo and maybe have a cheeseburger and would probably be over the moon if someone was just slightly nice to him for once in his life. Instead, life gave him Martín instead. Unfortunately, he won’t get a break any time soon but he’ll be broken down in many many ways.

Oh, anon, you’ve more than succeeded in your task! I’m the one just keysmashing in my head LMAO. Thank you so much for the kind words, truly!! And it means so much, especially knowing that you don’t usually react this way. I’m so happy the style worked for you and that the imagery flows!! That’s always the ultimate goal! 

I LOVED your review and have reread it many times. Thank you for reading in the first place and taking the time to share your thoughts!