#i remember when i was younger my boss order me chinese food for doing a Lot of open2closes

[jrueships]

anybody else have a food they're allergic to but still eat anyway

[flashbackharry]

Here, there and Everywhere

Best friends to lovers

5.4k words

Masterlist

Harry and you were best friends, have been since the beginning of your formative years, Harry has always been there. You were there before his X-Factor days. In fact he asked if you would take his shift at the bakery you both worked at, so he could go and audition. You were at work mopping when he asked you again. The begging has been going on for a few days now. Harry offered to do the most peculiar things for you. “I can teach you how to play guitar so when I become famous you can go on tour with me’’

You laughed, you were only 16 then, but his piercing green eyes and unrelenting ambition got the best of you and you huffed a “Fine” before grabbing the mop from his hands, he grinned and scooped you into his arms.  Little did he know you would've said yes regardless.

“You’re locking up right?” He asked. You slowly nodded.

“I'll be by tomorrow night to let you know how it went.” He said, kissing your cheek and walking out the door.

***

Your whole body was aching. It was a long day of being on your feet and your brain was exhausted from having to use your customer service voice all day. You had just finished sweeping the floor and putting the money in the safe. It was half past 11. Harry said he’d come by. But It was getting late and the boss liked the store to be completely locked up by 12. You waited a little more before leaving him a  voicemail and grabbing your things and walking towards the door. Right when you turned the lights off you heard rapping at the door. It was Harry. You tried to gauge what he was feeling just by looking at his facial expressions but it was dark, the only source of light was coming from a singular lamppost outside.

You pointed to the “Sorry We’re Closed” sign on the window and pouted, gesturing to your imaginary watch that it was after hours.

“Haha, let me in.” He said, his voice muffled because he was outside the glass.

You unlocked the door and he stood there, staring.

“So?” You said, biting your lip, nervous for him.

What happened next happened so fast you couldn’t relay it.

One minute he was staring at you, the next your body was half way in the air, held together by Harry's arms wrapped tightly around your torso while he simultaneously screamed,

“I got through! I’m gonna be famous!”

You begged Harry to put you down through a fit of giggles. You put both your hands on his cheeks, grabbing his face. He looked longingly into your eyes.

“I’m so so proud of you bub.” You said, hugging him again.

“Ready to go?” he asked, once you pulled back from the hug.

“No quite.” You shrugged your coat off and set your bag down on the floor. You grabbed his hand and led him into the kitchen. You led him to a stool and ordered him to sit. He did, his eyes never leaving your figure. You rummaged all the cabinets and found two champagne glasses, you went to the fridge next and found some cheap wine. You poured the glasses halfway and handed him his.

“Tonight? We celebrate.” You said, clinking his glass against yours.

You both got drunk that night. Taking the glass with you after locking the store up. You walked the streets late, stumbling and giggling.

“Don’t forget me when you're famous.” You said, pausing once you both realized you were outside your house.

Harry narrowed his eyes, “Can't forget you when you're right beside me.” You smiled at that and hugged him goodnight. You pulled away first, again, there was that pause. You looked at his lips, and bit yours. He narrowed his eyes again, a pout forming on his lips. You were drunk, and exhausted and needed some sleep.

“Good night Styles.” You said, letting him go fully and walking up your driveway to your house.

“Night.” Harry said, his voice laced with confusion. You turned around. You saw him look at the ground, kick a few rocks and walk away, it wasn’t until his shadow was no longer visible did you go back inside.

***

You smiled sadly at that memory now. Heartbroken. That was 4 years ago and today you just found out the girl you've been with for the past year was cheating on you the whole time. You called Harry and when he heard one word spill from your trembling lips, he said he was on his way. You’ve just been balled up on the couch now, reminiscing and trying not to leave her a nasty voicemail, but you couldn’t find it in your heart to even do that. Not sure if it was the surprise of the fact you’ve been lied to this whole time, or that you believed all those lies.

A knock at the door pulled you out from your thoughts. You went to open it and it was Harry. One look at him and your shoulders sunk, you sighed and tears threatened to spill again.

“C’mere.” Harry whispered. Pulling you into a hug. He closed the door behind him with one hand. You stood in the front entrance, underneath the light. It was late.

“Have you eaten anything today?” He asked, his voice sounding concerned.

“Do Cheez-Its count?” You asked looking up at him. Underneath the light, his features seemed more enhanced. His eyes were more prominent, maybe it was because of the situation at hand, but he looked sadder.

“Lets go.” He said. Grabbing your coat off the coat rack, putting it on you.

“Where?” You asked.

“To get some food.” He said, motioning you to put your shoes on.

You did and in 10 minutes, you were walking the streets of London late at night.

It was difficult finding a place that was open so late and so after walking in circles for a bit, you both stumbled on a Chinese Restaurant that was doing take out only. It would have to suffice.

You placed your orders by the window and stood outside waiting. It was chilly out but then again it always was chilly here. After grabbing your food, you and Harry walked across the street to the park and found a picnic table and sat down across from each other.

“How’d you find out?” He said after you guys sat and ate in silence for a little bit. You were just pushing around the food with your fork now, already a bit full.

“The other girl she was cheating on me with found my number in her phone and asked if I was the other girl.” Harry winced like it physically pained him to hear it.

“Ouch, I’m so sorry Y/n. I never got the best vibes from her.” He said, grabbing your hand over the table, running his thumb across yours.

“Yeah.” Was all you said. You sat in silence again.

“Did you love her?” Harry asked, his eyes searching yours.

“I think I was beginning to. Oh God, am I that stupid? Why didn’t I see it?”

“Hey, none of that. None of this is your fault. She's the shitty human being who fucked up, not you, okay?” Harry said, his voice rising a little.

When you didn’t respond again, Harry began to rummage in your bag. He grabbed the journal he gifted you a couple years ago for your birthday, you never left the house without it. He ripped out two pages and pulled out two pens he found in the bottom of your bag. You lifted your head, your eyebrows pulled together in confusion. He slid the paper and pen to you.

“We are going to write letters addressed to people we’ve loved in the past and then burn them.” He said, pen in hand, already beginning to write the first sentence.

“This is dumb Haz.” You said, grabbing the pen anway, beginning to write.

“Shhh no talking.” He said.

After writing in silence for about 15 minutes Harry looked up and asked if you were done, you met his eyes and nodded.

He took out the lighter he had in his coat pocket and lit it.

“Wait! Who did you write about?” You asked questioningly. Your mind going through his past lovers.

“Not important.” He said before lighting it again.

“No!” You yelled, walking over to his side of the table and standing beside him, trying to grab the paper. He held it out of your reach. You got on his lap, trying to pull his arm down so you could grab it. Harry crumbled it in his fist, getting up. He was a good 6 feet away from you now.

“Harry that's not fair, you know who I’m writing about.” You said whining a little, hoping he'd fall for it.

“It's not important bub, I’m trying to move on that's all.”

“But you tell me everything, we said no secrets.” You said, actually disheartened now.

“Fine, wanna know? It's Felicity, from year 9 remember? She really did a number on me.” He said, smiling. You weren't having none of it.

“I’ve been lied to enough, Harry, not you too.” You grabbed your things and started walking in the other direction. Harry's entire mood shifted. He ran after you.

“Wait! Y/n, wait up.” He was in front of you now.

“Its you, okay? He huffed. His eyes searching yours.

You looked at him. Not knowing what to do. Your heart hitched in your chest.

“It was when we were younger, when we both worked at the bakery. I had a thing for you..but you never reciprocated so I gave up.” He said in a shaky breath. You remember. You liked being his friend, in fact he was your only friend and you knew it was going to be something so special that you'd never want to lose, so you didn’t risk it. Didn’t want to.

“Obviously I don't feel that way still. You’re my best mate Y/n, I would never.” He said quickly when he noticed you weren’t saying anything. You didn't know why you were hurt by that last statement but you couldn’t help the aching you felt in your heart right now. Anyhow, you quickly shook the feeling and grabbed the lighter from his pocket, setting flame to the letter in your hand. Once you saw the ashes die down and turn into dust, you handed the lighter to Harry.

“You don’t wanna read it?” Harry asked, his voice sounding surprised.

You shook your head.

“Do you want me to?” You asked. You figured whatever he said in that letter could unravel something in both of you and suddenly you were regretting guilt tripping him into telling you.

Harry didn’t respond, instead he just took the lighter from your hand and set the paper alight.

The walk back to your flat was a silent one. Harry spent the night on the couch and you were afraid this was only the beginning.

***

One Year Later:

You never saw Harry so down. He was in the studio, Jeff left the two of you alone. Said you were best at getting him to come up with lyrics. The wound of leaving a serious relationship was still fresh and it wore on Harry heavy. It hurt you to see him so sad, but you knew he needed to be in this state- so vulnerable, it was when he got his best work done.

“Harry?” You cooed from below him. He was sitting on the couch and you were sat criss crossed on the rug, a journal in your lap as you wrote down the ideas that came flowing out of him.

“I know it's tough, but we have to put a dent on the final song today. You're so close. Just write what she made you feel.” You finished.

He looked down at you, and leaned forward.

“Temptress.” He said through gritted teeth. You jotted that down quickly in your journal. Progress.

You worked diligently for the next 2 hours, and may or may not have had a mini dance break to Fleetwood Mac, which in hindsight helped immensely .

“Harry I think you're done…” You said slowly, trying to suppress your smile.

“We're done?” Harry asked.

“Yeah you've got a great bridge, you got down the chorus, you still have to figure out the instrumental part but-” You were cut off by someone's lips on yours.

Harrys.

You were surprised at first. Then you realized your best friend was kissing you. And you were kissing him back. You couldn’t imagine how many times you had imagined this. Then you remembered you were fucking kissing your best friend.

You put your hand on Harry's chest and broke the kiss.

“Harry.. We can’t” You said softly.

“Why not, we've never in the past because there was always someone else, now there's no one else.”

“Wait what?. We can’t because you're my best friend. And you're sad, and just ended a very serious relationship and I’m not your fucking rebound, I’m your best friend.” You said, getting up off the floor. Harry also got up, you could tell he was getting revved up.

“You know we are definitely more than friends Y/n don’t fucking lie to yourself ” He said. You were grabbing your things and he took them from your hands and threw them back down on the groud, taking your hands in his, shaking you a little.

“Look at me and tell me you don’t love me Y/n” He said, his voice shaking.

You pushed him off you and stepped away.

“It's not that I don’t love you, its that I can’t be the one to mess this up, I don’t wanna lose you and I know me and I know you and we will fucking crash and burn Harry.” You bent down to try and grab your things again and this time Harry didn’t stop you. Tears began to slip from your eyes and you wiped away at them while you were putting your remaining things in your bag, your hands shaking.

You felt a gentle hand close over yours. Harry picked your bag up, and grabbed your hand to help you up off the floor. You took your bag from him slowly.

“Will we be okay?” You asked, your voice breaking.  

Harry gave you a small smile.

“We’ll be alright.” He said, and with that you walked out.

***

It's been one week since the kiss that transpired between you and Harry in the studio room.

You talked over the phone later that night and although awkward at first, it was a conversation you needed to have.

You both listed all the reasons why the two of you dating would be a bad idea.

“If things got bad between us I’d have to stop seeing Anne and I don’t think I’m ready to give up Anne.” You said and Harry laughed softly.

“If things got bad between us” Harry started,  “I think Mitch might actually choose you over me.” and it was your turn to laugh.

You went on like that for a little while longer, the sun was about to rise when you both got done talking.

“I’m sorry, you were right. I rather have you in my life as my best friend than not at all.”

You paused and thought about what to say next.

“I love you H, good night.” You said sleepily and hung up.

Things felt different, because they were different, but like Harry said, you’d be all alright.

***

It's been 6months now since the rift in your friendship with Harry happened. From a complete outsider's perspective, you guys were the same, nothings changed. But between the two of you, things were..off.

Harry stopped coming over as much and he struggled with ways to show you affection. Before, he’d hold your hand constantly, kiss you on the cheek, lay his head on your shoulder whenever he got the chance. Now? You were lucky if you got a hug goodbye. Your close friends, however were beginning to catch on that something was wrong.

“Are you sure guys are okay?” Mitch pulled you aside one day while you were over at Sarah's place.

“Yes, we're fine Mitch, I promise.” You said raising your eyebrows back when he raised his.

“Okay...only asking cause he seems.. Different. Sad.”Mitch said softly.

Your heart sank.

“I'll talk to him.” Was all you said.

You were also trying to move on from him, trying not to think about him. You loved him but what else could you do? He initiated that kiss, he burnt that letter to you 6 years ago, he said things would be alright and they were far from it now.

Which is why when Ezra, the sound guy from the studio asked you out on a date, you said yes.

You got dressed, feeling nervous but not because you were about to go on your first actual date in 4 years, but because one way or another, Harry would find out and you weren’t sure you were ready for that.

“Oh how pretty! Someones got a hot date huh?” Sarah said from the couch where she was snuggled in Mitch's neck. Harry must’ve been in the bathroom. You figured this was your chance to leave before he came out.

“Thank you! Gotta go! Wish me luck!” You said and with that you were out the door.

***

After your date, Ezra walked you back to your flat, he leaned down to give you a kiss, you panicked and he ended up kissing your cheek. You started blushing and he looked down, confused.

“Goodnight” You said, biting your inner cheek and unlocking the door to your flat.

“Night.” He called after you and began to walk away.

You turned around, hoping he too would turn around. He didn’t.

The date wasn’t bad, he was nice and knew a lot about music which you admired. Reminded you of Harry. You cursed yourself for already comparing him to Harry but you couldn’t help it. Harry infiltrated every part of your life. You slipped your heels off, sighing at how good it felt, and walked into your kitchen to grab something to drink.

You and Harry already talked about what would happen if you were to be together, but now that you felt deprived of the usual love he encompassed you with, you wondered if it was worth the risk. You were miserable without him, and was this the friendship you worked so hard to salvage? A friendship where you couldn’t even look each other in the eye for more than a minute without looking away, a friendship where he couldn’t even hold your hand. Maybe you guys were always destined to be more than friends.

A knock at the door pulled you away from your thoughts. Maybe it was Ezra returning to give you a proper kiss.

You opened the door, and Harry's face appeared, his eyes were glossy, almost as if he had been crying before, and he smelled of liquor.

“Ezra? Really Y/n? My fucking sound guy!” He said angrily, slamming his hand on the door as he got the last part out

“Harry, I-” You started but he cut you off.

“No, Y/n, you always said it was about not ruining our friendship but fucking look at us! We’re miserable! I’m gonna make this easier for the both of us. We’re done, whatever this” He said gesturing between the two of us. “Was.” He walked away after that. Tears were falling from your eyes now, you called after him but just like Ezra-just like he did when he got back from X-factor all those years ago, he didn’t look back.

You went back into your flat and slammed the door, not caring it was nearly 2 am, and sunk to the floor.

***

You hadn’t seen Harry in two months since he came to your apartment drunk and severed your friendship.

Not even a peek at him in two months. Whenever your friends invited you to things, your first question was always, “Will Harry be there?” If they said yes, you politely declined the invitation.

“You can't avoid him forever. You’ve known him since forever, he's your best friend.” Sarah whined. You were sitting around the dining table making art collages.

“I can damn well try. He wanted this, I’m just respecting his wishes.” You said, suddenly angry.

“Well, do you know what next friday is?” She asked slowly.

“Cinco de Mayo?” You furrowed your brows in confusion.

“No..” She said, raising her eyebrow at you.

You paused a moment to think. Then it hit you.

“Oh! It's your birthday!” You exclaimed.

“Yes, and I’m inviting the both of you and you're both coming.” The air suddenly left the room as you processed what she just told you.

“It's your birthday so I won't make it about me and my melodrama but just know, I hate you so much right now.” You said getting up and placing a strand of her behind her ear.

“I love you too.” She called after you, laughing.

You spent the next week pacing your floorboards till they had a distinctive creak to them.

***

Sarah's birthday party was a weekend getaway at her parents beach house.

You sat in the backseat, Mitch was driving and the birthday girl was in the passenger seat.

You pulled into the house's driveway, it was a modest size house, the most beautiful part of it was the ocean it overlooked a few feet away. You've always had a fascination with the ocean, it always brought you peace. It was dusk the sun was setting and it’d be night soon.

You walked into the house, you had packed a small bag considering you'd only be here for two days max. You took the room in the attic, it was recently renovated so it didn't look much like an attic but you liked how you still had to pull the stairs down to get up there. You were tired but you felt gross so you brought a change of clothes with you and hopped in the shower, hoping the hot steam would clear your mind.

After your too long of a long shower, you realized you couldn't stay up here during the entirety of your stay, that would make Sarah sad and today was all about her. So you swallowed your pride and went downstairs where everyone was, music was playing and you heard the clashing of plates. Dinner.

You walked in and everyone was around the table. Mitch and Sarah sat side by side, Jeff was there with his wife, Charlotte and Adam were there as well as their dates. And Harry.

He sat next to Mitch, on the opposite side of Sarah. He was teasing them about something because Mitch was pushing his hand away from his hair and rolling his eyes playfully.

“Ah, look who's done from the longest shower ever.” Sarah said, giving you a smile.

You smiled and walked over to take a seat at the other end of the table. You felt Harry's eyes follow you to your seat. The whole room was watching the small exchange between the two of you. You've never felt so uncomfortable in a room with the people you loved the most. You wanted to go back upstairs and crawl under the covers. Your hair was still damp and you had on jeans and a t-shirt you were covering with a zip up hoodie, still you felt bare.

Adam fixed you a plate and gave you a small reassuring smile, you returned it and ate slowly.

The remainder of the night was spent laughing and storytelling, eventually someone suggested we get a bonfire going and now you were all walking down towards the water. Adam and Jeff got the fire going and you helped carry some pillows and blankets down. You all gathered around the small fire. You sat across from Harry. The sound of the waves crashing against the shore was a calming one and maybe it was the alcohol working but you felt less tense. Harry had a guitar in his hand and was strumming it lightly. The glow of the fire illuminated his face and he looked so beautiful, you felt your heart strings tug, you swore at yourself underneath your breath and shook your head.

“Any requests?” Harry called out over to the group.

“Beatles. Eleanor Rigby?” Jeff asked.

“Mhmm I dont know that one on guitar.” Harry admitted, his eyes scanning everyone.

“Let it be?” Adam asked, he was poking a stick at the fire.

“So we're sticking with The Beatles?” Harry said, pulling his phone out to search their discography.

“Here, There and Everywhere?” You asked.

Harry's head snapped up, his eyes met yours, he just held it and parted his lips as if to say something but nothing was coming out. He slipped his phone back into his pocket and grabbed the neck of the guitar, tuning it. You thought he was ignoring you but then minutes later, the beginning strum of the song played softly. You listened softly. Everyone joined in on the “Oooo” parts of the song and Harry sang beautifully.

This was you an important song to you. It was played on car rides at night and on momentous occasions as well as when you had trouble falling asleep, Harry would hum this song in your ear and you’d fall asleep almost instantly.

“There, running my hands through her hair

Both of us thinking how good it can be

Someone is speaking

But she doesn't know he's there”

“I want her everywhere

And if she's beside me I know I need never care

But to love her is to need her everywhere”

…

“Each one believing that love never dies

Watching her eyes and hoping I'm always there

“I will be there

And everywhere

Here, there and everywhere”

Harry's eyes never left yours during the entire duration of the song. It was painful to keep his gaze, wanting nothing more than to break it. Slow tears were streaming down your eyes now. You didn’t even bother wiping them away. Harry's eyes were also watery. When the song ended, Harry kept his hand on the guitar, he looked down now and you couldn’t do it anymore. You excused yourself and started walking in the opposite direction. Your shoes were off and the sand felt nice.  

You walked until the fire was merely a small speck in the distance. You sat down, close to the water but no too close so the water hit you. You pulled your knees to your chest. You saw a figure walking towards you, it was Harry. He must've also excused himself and walked away minutes after you did. He had his hands in his trouser pockets. He looked conflicted.

He leaned down and occupied the space next to you.

He put his hand in your lap, his palm out. You looked down at it, pausing before lacing your fingers through his. He pulled your hand to his lips and kissed it before guiding it to his lap.

“I’m sorry.” You said.

“I’m sorry too.” He said, his eyes piercing yours.

“How did we end up like this?” You cried out, letting out a pathetic laugh while lifting your head up to the sky.

“I don’t know,I do know that I've missed you.” Harry said. You looked at him, holding his gaze, your eyes looked over his face. The bags under his eyes were darker than usual. 2 months is a long time to not look at someone's face. You decided to just say the thing that's been on your mind this whole time.

“Harry?” You whispered, leaning your head on his shoulder, your hand still in his lap. He was playing with your fingers absentmindedly.

“Mhmm” He murmured, you felt his voice rumble through to youyour chest because of his proximity.

“I love you so much. And I think it's taken me so long to admit that we are just more than just friends because I didn’t want to lose you but maybe it just means I get to love you in a different way. I think we could be more, and if you're willing to try...I would like that.” You lifted your head from his shoulder and pulled yourself into his lap. A leg hanging from each side. You held his face into your hands. He was smiling softly, looking as if he were about to cry any second now. He slowly nodded his head and you felt your hands move.

“Yes, I would like that.” He said, biting his lip.

“May I?” You whispered against his lips, a breath away from kissing him. Harry didn't answer. Instead he closed the gap between the two of you.

Your lips met and danced in a paced and calculated  manner. His tongue wrestled with yours. It was warm and you could taste the bitter sweet alcohol you both had consumed earlier. You pulled away only ever to catch your breath. This was nothing like the kiss you shared almost a year ago, no this one wasn't rushed, this one wasn't a surprise but in a sense, it also was because you weren't just kissing your best friend, you were kissing the great love of your life, your soulmate, the only person you ever wanted to be with. As if making up for lost time, you kissed if this would be your last. Harry pulled away ever so slightly to bite your bottom lip and he moved to your neck, your arms were wrapped around his neck and he put one hand on your neck and the other on your waist only to move you to the sand as he hovered above you, all while his mouth never left your lips or neck.

A sudden noise pulled you two away from each other, you let each other go and looked off into the distance. They were all walking back to the house. Harry crashed on top of you and let out a laugh. He rolled over until he was also laying down in the sand. You were looking up at the sky, smiling to yourself and trying to catch your breath when you felt two hands pull you close to their chest. Harry kissed the top of your forehead.

“I’m so glad we waited all those years, that kiss almost made all the agony worth it.” Harry said, chuckling.

You smiled and put a hand to his chest.

“We should go back, they probably think we killed each other or something.” You said, starting to get up. Harry pulled you back into him.

“Lie here with me, I wanna remember this some more.” He whispered. He looked peaceful and content, you were happy you were the reason. You obliged, placing a kiss behind his ear.

You sat watching the sky and listening to the sound of the waves. It was a while before anyone said anything, your breathing was in sync. Then Harry spoke again.

“Wait, you're not still with sound guy right?” Harry asked, pretending he forgot his name.

You laughed and pinched his side before answering.

“Ezra and No, I wouldn’t kiss you if I was still in a relationship.” You said and Harry smiled at how kind you were.

“Remember that letter I never read about me that you burned?” You asked.

Harry nodded.

“You said you were just trying to move on. When did it start though, when did your feelings about me change?” You breathed that last part out quickly.

“Uh I think it was when I got back from my Audition, we had that little celebration in the kitchen. You believed in me so much and I remember thinking how I wouldn’t mind spending the rest of my life with you. What about you, when did it start?” He asked, running his finger gently across your arm.

“I had feelings for you that night at the bakery but it didn’t solidify until we were in the park that night we wrote the letters, when I knew you at least at some point felt some way about me.” You said, your heart fluttering at the fond memory.

“Can I be honest?” you said, sitting up now.

“‘Always.” He said, his expression matching yours in seriousness.

“I’m worried we’re not gonna be compatible the same as we were when we were friends.” You said sheepishly, drawing circles in the sand with your finger.

“Where you the person I was just kissing? Did you see that chemistry?” Harry asked, lifting your chin with his finger so you’d meet his eyes. When you were starting to tear up again he pulled you into his lap again.

“Hey, were gonna be alright. This time I mean it. I’ve got you and I don't intend on letting you go.”

You grabbed his face again and planted a kiss to his cheek, then his other cheek, then the tip of his nose and finally to his lips. You murmured a low “We’ll be alright” to his lips.

[iknowyouthinkimbulletproof]

18- Ashton Irwin

A/N: another 5sos fic! Ashton Irwin x y/n. Y/n’s gender is female for this fic, it just made it easier to write, my apologies to anyone it might upset, but you can always request. Feel free to correct any mistakes! Requested by @suchalonelysunflower​ for my writing challenge: Lizza my darling, for the writing challenge I shall ask the song 18 by One Direction and any of the 5sos boys ❤️ my heart needs fluffy/angst or whatever you chose to do 💕🦋. i was supposed to post it a while ago...whoops.  *=song lyrics 

not my gif

1535 words

-

*I got a heart and I got a soul

Believe me, I will use them both

We made a start, be it a false one I know

Baby, I don't want to feel alone*

For as long as they can remember, Ashton and y/n were always parts of each other's lives. Their mothers had become friends around their time of pregnancy since y/n’s mother had just moved in next door. Despite that, Ash and y/n barely talked. When they were 10, Ash had scared her off by bullying her. It wasn’t intentional, he just had a crush on her and like most young boys, he became slightly rude towards her till it progressed to the point where he was seen as a bully.

It wasn’t until they were 17 that they became close. y/n’s father, who wasn’t really in the picture, had passed. It hit her hard. Though they were never close, when he passed y/n realized that even if she wanted to fix her relationship with her father, it was too late.  Ashton knew what it was like to grow up without a father, so he took her under his wing. The first couple months together Ash had tried to get her to go out more often and join some clubs at school, but she refused. Soon their friendship grew to the point where they felt most happiest next to each other.

When Ashton joined the band, 5 seconds of summer, he begged y/n to meet the boys. It took until their third performance together for y/n to meet them. Though she was closed off most of the time, she had grown slightly close to Ash's old band member in “swallow the goldfish”. She didn’t want to get close to them if they weren’t going to be in their lives for long. Seeing as the boys of 5sos were younger, she didn’t think that Ash would be there for long. Especially since Micheal had only asked him to join because they needed a drummer for their first jig. 

After the band had taken off, Ash had asked y/n to go on tour with them. She did, and while there she grew even closer to Ash. she got to know him more, she helped him through everything and never questioned when he needed a shoulder to cry on.

*So kiss me where I lay down

My hands pressed to your cheeks

A long way from the playground*

Their first kiss was magical, but they pretended it never happened. Ash and the guys had just gotten to the hotel after a performance. It was their first concert for the Youngblood tour and the excitement had gotten to him. He wanted to see y/n, so he rushed his goodbyes to the guys and rushed to the elevator. Of course she had gone to the show, but she had some work to catch up on. She wasn't a teen anymore. She had a job, it was pure luck that when she went in to ask for a week or so off that her boss was in a good mood. He walked in on her lying in bed, computer open next to her.

“Procrastinating?” he asked, spooking her as he leaned on the wall. 

“I guess you could call it that.” she teased “ i finished most of it, but i can’t seem to figure out the rest of it and i’d rather do it with a big cup of coffee in the morning.” 

“Well, I'm happy you’re done for the night. Only because that means I get to binge watch criminal minds with you.” It had been a long day, nothing could be better than watching a show and eating a big meal with your best friend. “What did you want to order?”

“Well there’s room service, but i’ve been craving chinese food for a while.” she answered while pausing the Grey’s anatomy and looking up at him.

“Guess it’s chinese then.” he winked and pushed himself off the wall. Shoes were thrown off and a big jump was made onto the bed. “The usual?” He questioned, not noticing that she was staring.

“Yep, and-”

“-Don’t forget the egg rolls” he interrupted as he typed into his phone. She blushed. She knew that he knew her well, but sometimes even the little things can make her heart beat faster than if she were to go skydiving. Focusing her attention back onto the laptop, she figured now would be the best time to change the show. 

After dinner they laid on the bed, computer in between them, season 8 of criminal minds playing. As the fifth episode they watch that night ends, Ash looks over at her. She felt the stares, so she looked over. Before anything could be spoken, he places his hand on her cheek and brings her closer. y/n’s breathing picks up speed. Once their lips met, their eyes shut. y/n leaned closer, fingers inching towards the back of his head and pulling slighting on the hair that was at the beginning of his neck. The kiss was passionate. In the movies, they always describe first kisses like fireworks. This was better. It was as if the whole world disappeared. Or as if they have finally been able to hold something that seems too far away, but just as fast as the kiss started...it ended. In a matter of seconds whatever it was they held in their grasp, it was gone. 

They pulled away and Ash started mumbling to himself. He left the room, leaving his shoes and phone. That night y/n cried, all night. Her protector was gone and her heart was shattered. He shattered it. 

The day afterwards, she went to Ash and Calum’s room. Ashton was still asleep, so Calum opened the door. She gave him Ash’s belongings and then went down to breakfast. When the band joined her, the pair of forbidden lovers acted like normal. They joked around and the boys didn’t suspect a thing.

*And all I can do is say that these arms were made for holding you

And I wanna love like you made me feel

When we were eighteen*

Now, in 2020, both Ashton and y/n were in quarantine….on opposite sides of town. It had been forever since they last saw each other. It had given them time to grow separately and to think about what they really wanted. y/n knew for years that what she wanted was Ash. she knew the moment he walked into her home asking if she needed anything. It was a lot of work throughout these months for her to figure out that what she needed was him. She had him, but not fully, not the way she wanted. During the months of 2020, Ashton had gone through a break up. It didn’t hurt him as much as he thought. As much as anyone thought. If he was being honest with himself, it didn’t hurt at all. Ash used his time off making music. Some of which anyone could listen to. Specific songs though, they were meant for one person. y/n. He had never been the best at expressing his feelings, unless it was through music. 

That led him to where he is currently. Sitting at his desk, listening to the song he wrote for her, over and over again. He was going to send it, he had to. He wanted her completely. He wanted her in his arms, like she was meant to be. He press sent, then waited. He only took his eyes off the screen, to grab water. He waited, but nothing ever came. Nothing but the word “seen”. He sent another message to clarify that it was to her...and about her. After about half an hour, tears started to pour down his face, the anxiety won. He broke down. 

When y/n received the text she just finished showering. It had been sent 5 minutes ago. She sat and listened to the melody that played after pressing the link he had sent. Going back to the messages, she wanted to compliment the song, she saw the new text he had sent. Tears started to fall down her eyes, but they were tears of joy. Instead of texting back, she rushed up and grabbed her keys. She needed to see him just as much as she needed air.

When she arrived, her legs became like that of a cat’s. Fast. she knocked on the door, listening to her thumping heart. The door opens. Everything clicks together perfectly, all initiated by y/n.. First their eyes, then their hands, and finally their lips. It took a second for Ash to realize what was happening and when he did the kiss took a turn. It turned sloppy and desperate, somehow the passion could still be felt. Ashton pulled her inside the house by her waist, closing the door with his foot and pressing her onto it. They pull away, still close with their breaths mixing together.

“I love you” y/n whispers tugging his hair again.

“I have loved you since we were 18” 

[helloalycia]

kiss me again // rory gilmore

summary: you're new to Stars Hollow and find yourself making friends with your new neighbours, the Gilmores. You certainly didn't expect to develop a crush on your new friend.

warning/s: none, just fluff tbh

author's note: i've got a handful of rory gilmore imagines written from like a year or 2 ago? wanna post them eventually so they're out of my drafts lol

masterlist | wattpad

"Thank you, Mr. Danes, this means a lot." I smiled appreciatively at the older man.

"Luke," he said, offering a small, almost-forced smile. He seemed very serious, but nice nonetheless. "You can call me Luke."

"Luke." I nodded and stood up from my seat at the counter. "When would you like me to start?"

He wiped down the counter as he said, "Tomorrow after school good for you?"

I grinned eagerly, excited to start working at Luke's diner. "Tomorrow after school is perfect. I guess I'll see you then."

He merely nodded and I took that as his confirmation before leaving. Getting a job was something I'd been meaning to do since moving here last week.

My parents and I had moved to Stars Hollow and I was still getting to know the place, but Luke's seemed like a friendly enough place to work. I'd only worked once, and that was at my local coffee shop back home in Chicago, so that experience must have made Luke consider me. I preferred being self-sufficient, and my parents definitely didn't mind, so a job was what I was after. And now I had it!

Settling in here wasn't too bad. The town was definitely different to my old one – everyone was too friendly here. Not that that was an issue, but it did feel strange.

I was riding my bike through town, smiling as I saw the mayor – Taylor something or the other? – in a small debacle with some woman. She seemed amused as he threw a mini tantrum. I didn't know too many people just yet, but some people at school had told me about Taylor. He was a character, alright.

I left my bike by the gates to our new house and headed inside, calling out for my parents.

"Mum?! Dad?! You home?!"

A moment of silence, before: "In the kitchen!"

I headed to the kitchen, past the moving-in boxes full of our stuff, and saw my mum sat at the kitchen table, hunched over some papers. She smiled as she saw me walk in.

"How was Luke's, honey?" she asked as I leaned down to give her a kiss.

I smiled as I remembered the good news. "I start tomorrow! Awesome, right?"

"Aw, sweetie, that's amazing! I'm happy for you. Your dad's at work, but I'm sure he'll love to get a call from you."

I nodded. "Thanks, mum."

The next day rolled around pretty quickly. School wasn't very exciting, but I was settling in well which was a good sign, I guess. After school though, I headed straight to Luke's with a bounce in my step. First day jitters took over a little.

"Y/N, hey!" Luke greeted when I walked in.

It wasn't very busy in here, since the lunch rush had ended, so Luke was filling up the salt and pepper shakers at the counter.

"Hey, I hope I'm on time," I said nervously, offering a small smile. "I was running a little late."

He waved his hand dismissively. "You're all good. You can leave your bag in the back, Caesar will show you where, and then I'll get you started on the basics. Serving coffee."

I chuckled. "Awesome."

I rounded the counter and headed into the back (Luke had given me the tour yesterday), where Caesar showed me where to put my bag, and also gave me an apron. Was it nerdy of me to get excited over the apron? Because I was.

When I returned to the front, Luke pointed to the coffee maker.

"You like coffee, Y/N?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

I pursed my lips into a sheepish smile. "Will I get fired if I say no?"

He shrugged and handed me the pot as it finished brewing. "I'm not bothered as long as you can serve it without spilling it."

I accepted the pot and nodded confidently. "That I can do."

He nodded and got back to the salt and pepper shakers. "Okay, well, just refill anyone who asks. If anyone orders food, write it down and give it to Caesar. Deliver the food and that's really it. Pretty simple, so don't worry about screwing up or anything."

I nodded. "Gotcha."

"Can I get some coffee over here, please?" a customer called out, to which I perked up at.

"And that's my cue," I joked as I went to the customer.

Luke suppressed a smile and we both resumed with our jobs. This went on for about twenty minutes and I managed not to break, spill or drop anything. I wasn't exactly clumsy, but sometimes nerves got to me. Unsurprisingly enough, this was a pretty easy job, so it was going well so far. Then again, it had only been twenty minutes.

The bell rang signalling someone had entered, but I had my back to it as I collected some food from Caesar.  

"Luke! If there isn't coffee cup waiting for me, I will most definitely melt into a puddle of stress!"

As I delivered food to this strange yet polite guy, Kirk, I caught a glimpse of the loud customer who had entered. A young woman and possibly her younger sister were seated at the counter. Luke didn't seem bothered by their cheerful, noisy presence (which he usually was with others), so I presumed they knew each other well.

"Lorelai, in case you didn't notice, the diner was pretty quiet until you walked in," Luke said knowingly, though he was filling a cup for the woman anyway.

"Yeah, mom, why can't you be more like me? Quiet yet adorable," the younger girl wearing a school uniform said with an adorable smile.

The woman – Lorelai, who I recognised as the woman laughing at Taylor yesterday in town – was smirking at her daughter (how was she a mother when she looked so young?!) as Luke rolled his eyes and gave her a cup of coffee.

"Luke?! The oven is doing something weird!" I heard Caesar shout from the back.

"Uh oh, that doesn't sound good," Lorelai said teasingly.

"Can I get a coffee over here?" a customer called from the other side of the diner.

"Luke!"

"You might wanna check that out, Luke," the younger girl said with a laugh. "And a cup of coffee would be great."

"Yeah, I know," Luke said, growing irritated with Caesar's yelling. He looked around before saying to me, "Can you brew another pot of coffee whilst I see what Caesar's shouting about?"

I smiled and nodded. "You got it, boss."

As Luke headed to the back, I went behind the counter to make some more coffee.

"Luke hired someone new?"

I turned around as I heard Lorelai mention me. She smiled brightly my way.

"Uh, hi, I'm Y/N Y/L/N," I introduced with a nervous smile. "I just started, like, twenty or so minutes ago?"

Lorelai seemed impressed as she looked at my apron. "And not a coffee stain in sight. I'm impressed."

I chuckled. "Yeah, I guess so. Though I can't guarantee the apron will make it by the end of my shift."

Lorelai laughed before saying, "I haven't seen you around town before. Are you new?"

"Yeah, my family and I moved to Stars Hollow last week."

Lorelai nodded as she took a sip of her coffee, before widening her eyes and saying, "You're beeping delivery driver people!"

I smiled with confusion and quirked an eyebrow. "Erm, sorry?"

Lorelai nudged her daughter, who was staring at me with her bright blue eyes. "Remember? Beeping delivery driver people?"

The daughter, who zoned back into reality and looked to her mum, nodded slowly. "Yeah, yeah."

"I'm really not getting this." I laughed nervously as I checked the coffee pot. Almost done.

Lorelai sat up straight and smiled. "You moved in down the street from us. Your delivery driver was beeping really loudly for some reason, hence beeping delivery driver people."

I snickered. "Ah, that makes sense now."

"I'm Lorelai Gilmore," she finally introduced with a grin. "And this oddly silent clone is my daughter, Rory."

I grabbed the pot of coffee and said, "Oh, well, nice to meet some neighbours. I'm Y/N, as you know." I stopped in front of the daughter, Rory, and said, "Did you want some coffee?"

Rory looked at me, seeming a little speechless. I felt nervous under her intense gaze, wondering if I had food on my face or something, but waited patiently.

"Rory, sweetie, anything alive in there?" Lorelai joked, shaking her daughter's arm.

Rory cleared her throat and smiled awkwardly. I could no longer meet her eyes because they were too intense and I felt like she was judging me for some reason.

"Sorry, uh, yeah, coffee. Coffee would be great," she finally spoke.

I chuckled a little and grabbed a cup from underneath the counter. After filling it up, I said, "If you guys need anything, just let me know."

I went back to filling up other people's coffees and dishing out food, all whilst paying a little attention to the Gilmore girls who were tucked into unreciprocated banter with Luke. I also stole a few glances at Rory – she was strange, quiet, but intriguing. Also, I was sure I felt her looking my way at times.

"Y/N, you free?" I heard my name and turned around to see Lorelai waving me over.

I headed over, setting the dirty plates at Caesar's, before standing behind the counter. "What's up?"

Lorelai smiled mischievously. "Rory and I were wondering if you wanted to come over for dinner. Well, you and your parents. You know, a little neighbourly welcoming into town."

Rory almost choked on her coffee before spluttering out, "We were?"  

Lorelai ignored her. "So? What d'you say?"

I shrugged. "I guess so. But like, you don't have to. I don't want us to be a bother."

Lorelai waved her hand dismissively. "Pfft, nonsense. As long as you're okay with chinese takeout."

"Hmm, I'm not sure about chinese," I joked.

"I can settle for Italian, but that's my final offer," she played along.  

I laughed. "Italian sounds great."

"Great! We'll see you, say... tomorrow evening? Our house is the one with the mailbox that says Gilmore."

I nodded. "Thanks. We'll see you then."

Lorelai smiled before standing up with her daughter. She left some cash on the counter, including a tip, before waving goodbye. I waved in return, even to Rory who seemed awkward and shy.

After my shift, I told my parents about Lorelai and Rory and the dinner invitation, and they seemed up to it, so that's where I found myself the next day at dinner.

"Please don't embarrass me," I begged a final time as we approached the door.

"What do you honestly think we're going to say?" my dad asked with a chuckle. "That you didn't sleep in your own bed until you were 7?"

"Or that you wore the same Mickey Mouse shirt every day for 2 weeks in third grade?" my mum added.

"Or that you arrange your bookshelf by favourite protagonist?"

"Or that–"

"Okay, I get it!" I cut my mother off before she could finish. "Geez, next time I won't say anything."

My parents both pulled me in for a side hug as I grumbled to myself. I really hoped they wouldn't embarrass me in front of these new people. It was a small town and I was sure word would spread if I did something stupid.

After what felt like forever, the front door finally opened to reveal Rory in a lovely dress and cheery smile.

"Hello! Please, come in," she said politely, stepping to the side. "I'm Rory Gilmore."

My parents walked in, earning a smile from the younger Gilmore, and I followed behind, only to meet her eyes and receive a nervous smile.

"Ah, Rory, yes," my mum said kindly. "Y/N mentioned you. I'm Y/M/N, Y/N's mum and this is my husband, Y/D/N."

"Lovely to meet you, Rory," my dad said.

Rory blushed a little before saying, "You guys can take off your coats and I'll hang them up for you. You can go straight into the kitchen and my mom should be there with the food."

"Thank you, dear," my mum said as she handed her coat over. My dad and I did the same before we all went to the kitchen.

"Hey, Lorelai," I said as I walked in. She was setting the food out on the table when she saw me.

"Y/N, hey," she said, smiling my way, before her eyes drifted to my parents. "And these must be the parents! Hello! I'm Lorelai Gilmore, mother of Rory."

Everyone got acquainted and we all took a seat in the kitchen to indulge in some good old pizza.

"I hope this is okay," Lorelai said as we all tucked in. "I'm not exactly the best cook, so I figured you can't go wrong with takeout."

"Not the best is an understatement," Rory added. "It's either pizza or death by food poisoning."

Lorelai shoved her daughter playfully as we all laughed.

"This is fine, Lorelai," my mum said with an amused smile. "Pizza is a go-to in our house too, what with Y/D/N and I working a lot and Y/N insisting we eat pizza all the time."

"Hey, pizza is beautiful and you've never complained before," I defended, earning chuckles all around.

"What is it you both do, if you don't mind me asking?" Lorelai asked, and cue the boring job discussion.

My parents were realtors which meant we moved around a little, and it was cool, after you hadn't heard it a million times over. I was more interested in Lorelai's answer. She worked at an inn just outside Stars Hollow which was interesting. Her bubbly persona was totally understandable now.

"So, Y/N, how are you settling in at school?" Lorelai asked, and it took me a moment to realise she was talking to me.

"Hm? Oh, school."

She suppressed a laugh. "Bored you already? That can't be good."

I felt my cheeks heat up with embarrassment. "No, gosh, no, sorry. I just got a little lost in my thoughts... School is good. It's just school, isn't it?"

My dad rolled his eyes. "She's modest. She's brainy this one. Already enrolled in the debate team, started up as a librarian and staying back at lunches to help her English teacher. She loves school."

"Remember that thing I said outside before we walked in?" I said to my dad with a sarcastic smile. "This is it. This is what you're doing."

Lorelai laughed. "Hold on, hold on, let me guess. You guys got the 'don't embarrass me' talk, too?"

"Nailed it," my mum answered.

I sat there smiling with embarrassment as they laughed at mine, and now Rory's, dismay.

"So, Rory, you go to Chilton? You mentioned earlier on," my dad switched the attention from me, thank god.

"Uh, yeah, just started actually," she replied with a nervous smile.

"Well I hope everything is working out for you," my mum told her. "You must be very intelligent."

Rory seemed embarrassed as she nodded in response. Her cheeks were a bright red in contrast to her blue eyes.

The parents mostly made conversation as Rory and I stayed silent and listened, chiming in every now and then.

Eventually they seemed to notice though, as Lorelai said, "Why don't you guys head into Rory's room? Rory, honey, you can show her your books or something."

"Uhh..."

"You don't need to do that," I assured her, noticing her awkwardness.

"She's fine," Lorelai said, nudging her. "Go on."

"Go on, Y/N," my dad urged, doing the same.

Rory and I, practically forced to mingle, stood up and I followed her to her room, which was connected to the kitchen. I could hear my parents and Lorelai making their way to the living-room, probably with wine, and so I knew we wouldn't be leaving for another half hour or so.

Rory closed the door behind us and motioned to the room. "This is it, really."

I looked around at her spacious room. It was very clean and seemed very organised, which made sense because that was just the vibe Rory gave off.

"It's cute," I complimented with a smile, hoping to ease the awkwardness. "Clean. Organised."

She merely smiled, her cheeks still a little red from embarrassment.

I stepped in a little more and noticed her bookshelf. "D'you mind if I take a look?"

"Feel free," she said before taking a seat on her bed.

I browsed her bookshelf and immediately noticed it wasn't organised alphabetically. Nerdy, yes, but I was curious.

"Is there a reason for the way you've ordered your books or...?" I asked, hoping I didn't sound like a loser.

She chuckled. "Oh, god, okay... I'm not crazy, honest. But yeah, they're currently organised by the publishing date."

I chuckled and looked to her oldest book, pulling it out. I didn't recognise it, but I opened it and saw it was published in 1956.

"Wow, old," I said, putting it back how I found it. I turned around and hoped I didn't offend her by laughing. "I organised mine by favourite protagonist, so you're definitely not crazy."

The first real smile I'd ever seen from the girl appeared on her lips and I'd be lying if I said it didn't weirdly make my stomach do somersaults.

"You can sit on my bed, I won't bite," she said, feeling a little more comfortable with me.

I pressed my lips into a smile and took a seat beside her. "So, care to share what the deal with the mayor is around here?"

She laughed and her eyes sparkled when she did. "Oh, boy, you're gonna need some popcorn and a recliner for this one."

–

After that evening spent at the Gilmores, it made settling in a little bit easier. Of course Rory wasn't in my school, but I'd always see her at Luke's right after, since she'd stop by when the Chilton bus dropped her off. I obviously worked there, so that was kind of our way of seeing each other and developing a friendship.

Plus her and Lorelai lived on our street so we'd see them around a lot, especially in town. I got to meet a few other townspeople too, thanks to Rory, who offered to give me a tour. She even introduced me to her best friend who goes to my school, Lane.

At first, Rory seemed shy around me, but I think it was just because she didn't know me very well. Now she seemed alright which was cool because she was pretty awesome. And she gave me this funny feeling when I was with her – I didn't know what it was, but it felt nice.

"Are you alive over there? Hellooooo?"

I zoned back into reality as Rory waved her hand in front of my face to grab my attention. I immediately noticed her laughing at my dismay, that funny feeling becoming present again.

"Yeah, sorry, I'm just a little tired," I explained. "I stayed up trying to finish some science homework last night only to realise it was Friday night and I had all weekend to complete it."

Rory laughed once again, her eyes widening with amusement. "Why are you like this?"

I shook my head. "I honestly don't know."

"You know what you need?"

"Don't say it," I said, smiling at her cocky smirk.

"Coffee." She looked to the counter. "Luke! Please can we get another round?"

I sighed as Luke came round to refill our cups. "I've never met someone this obsessed with coffee, you know that?"

"It's a gift," she winked playfully, before taking a sip of her coffee and completely unaware of what her wink did to me.

My gaze flickered down to my cup, which was filled with some freshly brewed coffee.

"You know, I'm so sure you didn't like coffee," Luke commented once he filled our cups.

I nodded, ignoring the glare Rory was giving me from across the table. Instead, I looked up to Luke and said, "I'm not a fan of it. The only time you'll probably catch me drinking it is when I'm, well, with Rory and she's forcing me to."

"Hey, I'm not holding a gun to your head, am I?" she asked with disbelief.

I smiled with amusement.

"I can bring you some tea if you want," Luke suggested monotonously.

"Don't you dare," Rory threatened jokingly.

"Tea would be great," I muttered to Luke, who nodded and went to fetch me a tea.

Rory seemed fed up. "What can a girl do? Being betrayed is not how I saw our lunch beginning."

I chuckled at her adorable facial expression. "You're being dramatic."

"Can Lane take any longer to arrive? I don't wanna lose my appetite when the back-stabbing begins," she continued over exaggerating.

"Rory!" I laughed at her exaggeration. "Quit it."

She gave me a 'what can I do?' look, making me roll my eyes. Luke returned with my tea and removed my coffee, which only made Rory sigh extra loudly.

"Lane's arrival would be good right now," I agreed teasingly.

Just on time, the door to Luke's rang and in walked Lane, who joined our table in an instant.

"Sorry I'm late, you know how my mom can be," she apologised, before looking between us both. "What did I miss?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but Rory beat me to it.

"Not much," she nodded, "Y/N here was just planning to bury me alive."

"I'm not even going to bother," I gave up before sipping my tea. I glared at Rory playfully adding, "Mmm, lovely."

Lane snickered. "Gosh, you're both so childish."

"She started it," Rory retorted, pointing her finger at me, making me smack it away lightly. She continued nonetheless. "Leading me on in this fake friendship, pretending she liked coffee when she's a tea drinker!" She said it with such feigned hostility that I couldn't help but laugh.

"I thought she knew," Lane said to me. "It was literally one of the first things you said to me when we met at Luke's."

I shrugged. "Yeah, well, you're not madly obsessed with it, so it was kinda easy to tell you. Rory on the other hand..." I gave her a knowing look, to which she pursed her lips at.

"You could have told me still," she continued, shrugging indifferently. "I wouldn't have judged."

"Like you are now," Lane added with a laugh.

I suppressed a smile as I said, "When we first met, Rory, you were the epitome of awkward and shy. I thought you didn't like me. So you totally led me on with false impression. But you don't see me complaining, do you?"

"What? That doesn't sound like Rory," Lane said with a knowing look.

Rory began to blush behind her cup of coffee as I glanced her way.

"No, that was definitely Rory," I said, sure of myself. "She just sat there, at the counter, not saying a word. I half expected her to insult me with the odd stare she was giving me."

"Really?!" Lane was in disbelief before looking to Rory. "That's so unlike you!"

Rory tried to wave her hand dismissively. "It was a bad day, okay?"

"Yeah, sure," I agreed, though I was smiling teasingly at her. "It all worked out though. That dinner at your mum's was a good icebreaker. Even if you didn't want me there."

Rory avoided my eyes as she smiled with embarrassment. "I never said I didn't want you there."

I laughed. "You didn't have to. Your mannerisms said it all."

Lane looked like she'd just uncovered a rarity as Rory blushed into her cup. Meanwhile I couldn't stop the butterflies in my stomach as Rory seemed super flustered before me.

"You girls ready to order now?" Luke asked, approaching our table. And thus the conversation was over.

Eventually, over time, I was figuring out what all of these unexplainable feelings around Rory were. I just hadn't wanted to face the truth at the time, but they began to make sense when I took time to truly think about it.

There was one time specifically though, when I thought she may have felt it, too.

I was sat down cross-legged on the floor of Luke's pantry. I was unpacking some canned goods onto the lower shelves of his stockpile when I heard a knock on the door.

I turned around with confusion, since it was only supposed to be me here, but relaxed when I saw it was only Rory.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" I asked her as she approached me. "I thought you'd be out there with the rest of the town."

She sat next to me on the floor as I continued to place the cans neatly on the shelf.

"I was, but Lane had to go and my mom's still at work and I realised you still weren't there, so I came looking for you and Luke sent me here."

"Oh, so I was your last choice of person to hang out with," I teased, pretending to be hurt. "Nice."

I looked up for a moment and saw a beautiful smile on her face as she rolled her eyes. I blamed the weird lighting in here that made me think of her in any way other than as a friend, but I knew deep down it wasn't the case.

"Why are you back here, Y/N?" she asked with a raised eyebrow. "It's Friday night and you're stacking tinned cans."

I nodded as I moved to grab the next box. "True, but Luke– well, you know of Rachel, right?" Rory nodded. "Well, she's here and Luke obviously wanted to spend time with her, so I told him to hang out with her tonight and I'll finish these last few boxes off and lock up for him."

"That's sweet," Rory said, watching me.

I shrugged. "He looked happy. And you know how rare it is to see Luke happy."

Rory chuckled and looked down to her lap. "Very true."

"I'm almost done here," I said, meeting Rory's gaze. "You don't have to wait up."

Rory shrugged. "I don't mind. I can help, too, if you want."

"I don't see why not," I answered, before pushing an open box in front of her. "Just unload these and stack them on this shelf here."

She nodded and got to work, a comfortable silence between us both.

"You've been in Stars Hollow for a few months now," Rory suddenly spoke up.

"Yeah," I agreed, unsure where she was going.

"You like it here?" she asked casually.

I nodded. "Yeah, I guess so. I mean, I've got a job, made new friends, my parents are happy... it's great."

Rory nodded in response. "Yeah, that's cool... so, how's school? You like it?"

I shrugged. "Sure, it's alright. It's just school, really."

Rory nodded again, all of her attention on stacking. "Anyone there who you like? You know, like, like like?"

I almost laughed. "Excuse me?"

She chewed on her lip whilst remaining her casual attitude. "You know, has anyone caught your eye."

I couldn't help but let out a quiet chuckle. "No, Rory, not really."

She nodded and it went quiet. I presumed it normal until she spoke up again, this time looking right at me.

"But like 'not really' as in there may be someone? Or 'not really' as in nobody?"

I stopped what I was doing and noticed how conflicted she seemed. "'Not really' as in not really, Rory."

She bit her lip and nodded, looking down again.

I rested a hand on her wrist and asked, "You okay?"

She licked her lips and nodded, her eyes flickering from her wrist to me.

"You sure?" I asked again, furrowing my eyebrows. "You seem a little puzzled... it's funny, don't get me wrong, but a little worrying."

Her eyes looked up to mine and I noticed how bright they were, even in this badly-lit pantry. They lowered to my lips and I tried to convince myself I was imagining it, until suddenly I felt her lips against mine.

Rory Gilmore was kissing me.

One hand was holding my cheek as the other was pressed to my leg as she kept her balance close to me. I closed my eyes, beginning to kiss back, until she suddenly pulled away, her eyes wide like flying saucers.

"Oh my god," she muttered, moving further away from me.

"Rory–"

"I'm sorry," she apologised, quickly standing up. "I've got to, erm–"

"Rory," I said, standing up and trying to move forward, but she stepped back.

"I just realised I have some homework to do," she said, her eyes still wide with surprise. "Yeah, I guess I can't hang tonight. Sorry."

Before I could say anything, she ran out of the pantry and I was left alone realising how much I really wanted her to kiss me again.

–

That evening, I left a voice message on Rory's answering machine – nothing too specific in case Lorelai heard, just that I wanted her to call me back. Of course, I received no call and the next day, I was still left pondering our kiss.

She must have liked me, right? You don't just accidentally kiss someone. So why was she avoiding me?

I didn't want to pressure her to speak, but I also deserved some answers. I didn't try ringing again – it was obvious she didn't want to call, so I gave her some space the next morning. I did some homework, nipped into town to see if Rory was around – a mere glance is all, and then rang Lane to ask if she'd seen Rory about. Of course, she hadn't, so I ended up back at my house debating whether or not to stop by her house. Eventually my thoughts ate away at me and I stopped by.

When I knocked on, it was Lorelai who answered.

"Oh, hey, Y/N," she greeted with a smile. "You wanna come in?"

I smiled politely. "Erm, that's okay. I was just wondering if Rory was in? I had something to talk to her about. This book she was interested in."

Lorelai nodded. "Well, she decided she suddenly wanted to take a trip to the book store in town."

I sighed. "Ah, that makes sense." Of course she'd be in the one place I didn't check.

"Is that all?"

"Yeah, thanks a lot," I said, nodding. "See you later."

Lorelai waved as I walked down her porch steps. "Bye, sweetie."

I grabbed my bike and cycled back into town, trying to ignore my raging heartbeat and unsettled stomach. The anticipation was only growing the closer I got to the book store.

After chaining up my bike, I headed inside and smiled at the shopkeeper before going down the first aisle of books. It was pretty quiet and I only saw like three people here. I was starting to lose hope that Rory was even here until finally, I caught sight of her in the back corner of the store, her head deep in the blurb of some book.

I took a deep breath before stepping forward and clearing my throat. "Erm, hey, Rory."

She jumped, startled at my presence, and dropped her book. "Y/N, hi!"

I apologised as I picked up the book she dropped. "I didn't mean to scare you."

Rory, who I noticed was looking everywhere but at me, waved her hand dismissively. "Scare me? Nah, you did no such thing." She made every effort to avoid touching my hand as she accepted the book I held out to her.

I nodded and chewed on my lower lip. "Oh... well, erm, you didn't return my call last night, or, well, today..."

She chewed the inside of her mouth as she busied herself with putting the book back. "Yeah, sorry, I was going to, but I forgot."

I nodded awkwardly, watching as she ran her hands over the spines of the books clumsily.

"Don't you think we should talk?" I asked, lowering my voice a little. "About what happened?"

She swallowed deeply, looking down at her shoes. "Yes, talk..."

I decided to say something, knowing she wouldn't. "Look, I don't think you're the kind of person to do something and not mean anything by it. You're too clever for that."

She stayed silent, sucking on her lower lip nervously.

"You kissed me, Rory," I finally said, making sure I wasn't too loud. "You kissed me and then ran away."

"Should I not have?" she suddenly asked, looking me in the eyes.

I blinked. "Huh?"

She didn't look away. "Should I not have ran away?"

I cleared my throat and broke the eye contact when I felt myself growing nervous again. "Erm, well, I guess, in an ideal scenario, I would have liked it if you stayed...."

"Really?"

I nodded, risking a glance at her, only to see a small smile tugging at her lips. "Really."

She nodded slowly. "I would have liked that, too."

I mirrored her small smile, feeling those butterflies in my stomach again.

There was a pause in conversation, as someone walked past us. But when we were alone again, I spoke up.

"I've never done this before," I admitted shyly. "You know, liking a girl."

Her eyebrows raised hopefully. "You like me?"

My smile widened. "I thought that was obvious when I kissed you back?"

Her cheeks reddened a little. "Right, yeah... well, I'm new to this, too."

I admired how beautiful she looked right now, eyes darting around nervously, her smile shy and hidden, and decided to just go for it.

I glanced around, noticing we were still alone, and stepped forward, closer to her, before grabbing one of her hands gently.

"Why don't we figure this out together?" I asked quietly, meeting her curious gaze. "Because all I know is that I've been wanting you to kiss me again since you did last night at Luke's."

Her eyes brightened. "You– you have?"

I could feel my cheeks heating up with embarrassment as I nodded. "Yeah."

She smiled down at me and grabbed my other hand, pulling me closer to her. After a quick glance around us, she pulled me close and kissed me like she did last night. Except this time it wasn't hesitantly, but rather confidently and passionately. She moved her lips perfectly against mine, making my brain melt into a pile of mush and my heart beat excessively at her touch.

It didn't last long because we were both still nervous someone could see us, but it lasted long enough to leave me breathless and staring at her dumbfounded.

"That was..."

She nodded, her face as flushed as mine. "Yep..."

At the sound of someone approaching, we immediately let go of each other's hands, but when I looked up to meet her eyes, I saw an honest, caring smile on her lips and I knew that we could make this work. Somehow.

[bucky-iss-bae]

Reminiscences - Peter Hale x OFC (Part 2)

Hello againnnn - so I’m finally back, finally going to be active. 

My life has been a mess, I’ve not been motivated, and mentally I’ve gone through a lot the last 10 months, got thorugh University, Graduated, got a job, was a shit job, got another grad job during quarentine, and it’s been good and bad... 

Sorry for never posting and being bad at this, but I want to bounce back, so now its timmmeee. Also this Fic is actually completed. 

Want to post more, and just give you guys good content xoxo 

Fandom: Teen Wolf

Pairing: Peter Hale x OFC (Calla)

Word Count: 2900 (Sorryyy, idk why it’s so long) 

Warnings: None - Slow Start I guess

Summary: Calla has grown up as Derek’s best friend, she’s known the Hales her whole life,she’s known their secrets and everything in Beacon Hills. Things in Beacon Hills are quiet, the pack are a family, and Calla realises that Peter knows more of her secrets than she realises.

A/N: Hope you all enjoy, any feedback is welcome x

Masterlist Fandom List

Peter Hale x OFC - Reminiscenes Part 1 

Part 2 

The days following that evening I completely ignored Peter. I saw him whenever he was lurking around Derek’s, I even went to the efforts of walking the complete opposite direction as him when I went grocery shopping. But if he remembers, everything every single thing I told him. Then I may as well die now. Especially since he’ll use that against me. This is Peter we’re on about.

“So you’ve apparently been ignoring Peter?” Derek asked once he settled onto my couch on Thursday.

I rolled my eyes, “And. There’s nothing wrong with that, he’s a psycho”

Derek huffed out a laugh, “There is when it makes him mopey. He comes around to mine in hope that you’re there you know”  

“Well, maybe he should stop trying to be such a stalker” I told his nephew. It was weird that there was such a large but short age difference between Peter and us. He wasn’t ever seen as the adult when we were younger, he had a boyish smirk, he had charm, and wit, and was so different compared to how he is now. He completely changed because of the fire, and the 5 years of solitude almost. He grew up, yet I didn’t see this change despite being the only person visiting him. I didn’t know he was the alpha yet I made a fool out of myself by being there for him, and he couldn’t even trust me.

“You sure it’s that?” Derek asked.

“Derek. If you’re here to talk about Peter then you can just leave. Actually no you can’t you don’t have an option, stop talking about Peter, tonight is about us. If you want I’ll send him a text saying hi later and then ignore him”

Derek shook his head a small smirk on his face. I felt a bit bad that I was taking Derek away from his boyfriend. But I needed my best friend sometimes as well.

“Good, now how are things with Stiles going?”

Derek huffed out a laugh, “They’re going well. Really well actually, never really thought that I would end up with him, but it’s the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time. And I sound like a soppy teenager. So let’s talk about your love life”

I snorted, “Right, what love life? Actually, I went on a date last week, it was a complete failure. I’m just glad that the girls who set me up with him don’t work in the same department as him”  

Derek started to laugh, “How comes I didn’t know about this?”

“Because I didn’t tell anyone. I didn’t even... it wasn’t even a big deal for me. I wasn’t excited, I just wanted to get it over and done with, and the worst thing is when I was getting into my car at the end of the night he tried to kiss me. And Derek I still cringe, what happened was I turned my head so fast he kissed my hair. Completely missed the cheek”

This caused Derek to laugh, loudly, at me. “Wow Calla. Who would’ve thought huh?” He asked.

I rolled my eyes at him, “Shut up. It was a mess, so I rather not talk about that. Instead, I’m going to set up a tinder profile.”

Derek still had this amused smirk on his face, it was nice seeing him like this. For the first time in years, he was happy. His life was on track, sure there were constant threats to the town, but that happens, that’s part of the job description of being a werewolf, and with Derek being a complete shifter, it makes a difference.

But being with Stiles makes a difference, you can literally see the way that he looks at him, and I haven’t seen him this happy in a long time. He’s almost that young cocky guy he once was, but a more matured version who has a history to him. Who has so much more to himself than ever before, and I’m proud of him. Proud of everything he’s gone through and defeated. I know his mom, and sister would also be proud of him, whether he’s an alpha or not, he’s still so powerful, and has such a good heart.

“Let’s get started then” He grinned at me.

I rolled my eyes and rather than Pizza we ordered Chinese food, and rather than watching a film we created a tinder profile for me. It was terrible, Derek called in the big guns and Stiles was on Face time with us, which made it even worse for me. But I didn’t mind, I love stiles, and boy let me tell you he added spice to my basic profile. And obviously gave my pictures a yes or no.

“I’ve helped you guys this far, let me help with the swiping” Stiles said through the phone.

I scoffed at him, “Derek say bye to your man he’s helped enough”

Derek shook his head with a small smile on his face, “You heard the boss” He said to him.

“All that help, you better show me your matches or who you’ve spoken to over the next few days Calla. I’ll know if you don’t”

I laughed at him and Derek soon hung up, “Come on, let’s see who’s around then”

Both Derek and I started swipping through these guys, commenting to each other, and swiping left or right. Mainly left. Let’s be honest. Most of these guys either looked like guys who were balding too early in life, or others who were after a quick fuck. Despite everything I did manage to swipe right a few times.

“Please let’s stop now. Like, if you think I’m going actually going to find anyone through tinder its... not likely. It’s just a bit of fun, could lead to a quick lay”

“The same way Stiles and I getting together wasn’t likely”

I grinned at him “I should’ve called it. When you constantly wanted to get mad at him, way back when, and you just couldn’t. But that itself feels like years ago”

“Yeah, the same way my uncle spared your life?” Derek said back.

I glared at him and hit his arm, “I hate you, and I’m pretty sure your uncle is a sociopath”

“Yeah. Same but, let’s be real here. He has a soft spot for you Calla”

“Derek, I will stab you if you don’t shut up.”

“I would love to see you try”

I narrowed my eyes at him, “I will call Argent right now and get him to help me out”

He laughed, “Alright, I’ll shut up now. I’m sorry”

I nodded, “You better be sorry... Also why do you keep bringing up your uncle of all people to me?” I asked curiously.

Derek knows nothing of what I done whilst he was away, he knows nothing of the feelings I once harboured for Peter, maybe I still do which is why I’m so defensive, but no one needs to know this. But still, there’s got to be a reason behind Derek’s madness right now. Maybe Peter wormed his way into his head? It’s a possibility.

“You just said you wanted me to shut up”

I shrugged, “Just curious. Then you can shut up, and we can watch something”

He shook his head, “The way he acts around you I guess. He’s a prick towards everyone, including you don’t get me wrong, but he’s a different type of prick round you. And he cares about you, he gets protective, worries, cares”

I would be lying if I said that didn’t affect me, but it does. Although it means nothing.

“Derek, are you forgetting that I was basically raised around him. Wherever you were, he was, or the other way around. Like he’s been a constant figure in my life for a very long time. Sure he wasn’t mobile for a few of those years. But he was still in Beacon Hills. So maybe that’s why, maybe he has something that slightly resembles feelings from when he’s younger and he sees me as the kid that he used to teach basketball to, and just putting this out there I am amazing at basketball, which has got to be the meaning behind this madness, and this is because of him, and maybe a little you, but still”

“Really? We live in this town, and that’s what you call madness?” He asked.

“Yes Derek. That is madness, you’re forgetting I’m just a human girl who only just knows how to defend herself and I rather have that as my type of madness instead of anything else”

“How have you actually been?” He asked me giving me a serious look, “Like... you’ve literally been thrown into this world again, months after your parents passed away, and sure that was a couple of years ago, but you rarely see your younger brother because he’s working abroad, and the only other family you have is us. But most weekends we’re off fighting something supernatural, and you’re just at the loft, waiting.”

I shrugged, “I’m fine Derek. I’m happy... sure I miss my parents a lot and that set me back a lot. That made me want to constantly curl up into a ball and just cry. But having you back, having this normal-ish again. These last few months, I’ve gotten better. Ive also got my girls” I said with a smile, but he looked at me, waiting for me to elaborate causing me to sigh and twist my body completely towards him,

“Derek, I’m working an amazing Job, sure it doesn’t pay the best but I don’t need the money. I have money, instead I’m doing something I enjoy, and they’re easy shifts. I’ve always wanted to be an elementary teacher, but without the stress so a teaching assistant is the best thing. And I have Fridays off, and I do talk to my brother. Just not as often as I want because he’s doing so well for himself in London. And I have you Derek, I have my life long best friend. After everything we’ve been through we’re both here and we’re both happy. Sure my life could be further along than it currently is, but I’m finally in a good place”

He nodded at me, “Good” He whispered, “I’m happy to hear that”

“I hate you” I said shaking my head, but in reality he knows that I love him and he is my absolute best friend no matter how much I want to kill him.  

**

Apparently Lydia and Malia found it amusing that I now have an online dating profile. Everyone did, all aside from one person. That person I’m still avoiding but he still finds a way to worm his way into my life, especially since I’m currently sat with the girls, who are judging each and every guy whose photo I scroll through, and his face pops up.

Malia was laughing, seeing her father’s face on my phone, and Lydia finding it as amusing made me realise I need more friends other than Derek my age. Especially since Lydia decided on swiping right.

“Well, well, it’s a match” Lydia laughed, “But it makes me think, whats the maximum age you’re hitting here”

I rolled my eyes with a small scoff, trying to keep my heartbeat in place, “Well, if I wanted to talk to him. I would, yet I’m not, and you just swiped for me, that’s not fair, and guy my age are… I don’t know” I said to them.

“Well he clearly wants to talk to you” Lydia murmured.

I scoffed, “He wants to get under my skin. It’s what he does. Anyway don’t you girls have I don’t know other stuff to do?” I asked trying to change the subject.

“Nope, completely free tonight.” Lydia grinned.

I internally groaned but only seconds later was I literally saved by the bell, my phone started to ring, and Derek’s name popped up.

“Hello” I answered.

“Where are you?” He asked.

“I’m at Lydia’s place. With Lydia and Malia. Why?”

“No reason. Just, a few threats about, tell me when you’re going to leave to get home, and message me when you get there alright”

I rolled my eyes but had a small smile on my face, “Yes of course Derek. Do you know who or what it is?”

“Not sure yet. Probably isn’t something too dangerous. But whatever it is, they’re drawing other hunters to town. And now we have twice as much to look out for.”

“Stay safe then Derek. Does Chris know the hunters?”

“He’s looking into it”

I nodded, “Alright then. Just make sure you’re all safe and everything ok”

“Yeah always. Remember to message me when you get home” He then hung up and I looked at Lydia,

“What’s happened?” She asked me,

“Something else is out there, along with some hunters. And now I’m worried that these hunters will obviously know about our boys, and one thing will lead to another and someone might get hurt”

She had a worried expression on her face before looking at Malia who was on the phone to Scott, “We’ll figure it out. We always do”

I nodded, although I didn’t get involved as much considering I’m human with no special ability at all, and no badge, and well I’m not the smartest of the bunch. I just make sure everyone’s safe and worry about them all whilst making sure they eat and do their homework. That’s obviously the teacher side of me coming out there, no matter what ages I teach even if I am only a teaching assistant who works 4 days a week.  

“So Scott just said that Stiles and Chris are trying to find out who the hunters actually are, and that he Derek and Peter are going to find whatever’s out there. He told me to stay here...”

“You’re not are you?” Lydia asked.

Malia smirked and shook her head, “Nope. And I’m pretty sure you two won’t either, so who’s going to drop me off at Scott’s house?”

Both Lydia and I looked at each other before sighing and getting up, we got our stuff together, she called out to her mom telling her that we were going to Scott’s before we all left.

**

“What are you all doing here?” Scott asked once we walked in.

“You think we’re really going to let all the boys have the fun?” Malia asked her boyfriend, “And come on, I know those woods better than anything” She shrugged.

No one could deny that, both her and Chris were the best hunters here. As in being able to physically find something with the given clues.

“And I’m here to assist Stiles and Chris apparently” Lydia shrugged, everyone easily let that pass before all eyes were on me.

“I thought I told you to go home. It’s dangerous”

I shrugged, “I know. I really didn’t have any other choice” I said nodding my head towards Malia.

“Well you should just go home then. You’ll just be in the way otherwise” Peter snapped at me.

I rose my eyebrows at him, silently cursing Lydia for swiping right on his stupid face.

“I might just stay, make sure you don’t snake anyone out” I spat back to him.

“What and you think you’ll be able to stop me?”

“Peter won’t do anything, we’re not even sure what the problem is at the moment. So just go home Calla” Derek told me.

I felt a bit taken back at how blunt and rude he was at that, and considering no one decided on saying anything, I just grabbed my bag and left without a word. Because hey there’s nothing new there, being treated like I’m nothing despite seeing everyone as family. I would’ve expected a bit more considering they’ve got literal kids in there helping yet I can’t. Even if it is to make sure they’re all safe and not making stupid plans. I was there when Talia was alpha, I know how things work. Instead I just get embarrassed surrounded by my friends, and left to feel worthless because I’m of no help.

As soon as I got in my car, I knew that all I needed right now was a glass of wine, and some trash TV.

Which is exactly what I done when I got home, wine, some trash TV, and the comfort of my own apartment. And as petty as I may sound, I just hate feeling this way, and knowing that it’s something that constantly happens, I don’t see why I get involved in the first place. It’s the same old thing, I try and be there for everyone, they shut me out whenever shit goes down and I just keep running back. But no this isn’t going to keep happening because this week I will make the time and effort to go out with my girlfriends. I’ll dress up and have fun without worrying about anything else. Derek won’t be there to stop me, Peter won’t be there with his snarky remarks, and I won’t be surrounded by teenagers.

Which is exactly why I messaged my friends that I’m always talking to yet never have the time to see because I’m constantly with everyone else. We spoke for a little while before I asked when everyone was free for drinks, and guess what this girl is doing on Thursday after work. A night out, with my girls, and I can’t wait.  

Because I really felt in the mood to treat myself, I also planned on going shopping with one of the girls tomorrow after work. So no harm done there, I’ll buy myself a new outfit, some new makeup all ready for Thursday.

Peter Hale x OFC - Reminiscences Part 3 

[ladylillianrose]

You’ve Got SPRQS a Max Richman/Zoey Clarke fanfiction

A/N: Thank you all so much for your overwhelming support for this fic! I really do appreciate every single one of your comments and kudos!

Special thanks to aubreyrichman for putting up with me writing this at 1AM, making edits and then deciding to change a bunch of things later! *kisses*

Caroline belongs to @jade4813​ (she's just too good a character not to use!), while Evelyn and Ollie were collectively decided by the discord group!

All the other characters are Austin Winsberg's, he can have them back eventually....

Song is "She's Got a Way," by Billy Joel (Listen to it here https://youtu.be/p0iOEOtSyB0)

Summary: Max reflects on his day, and Zoey gets a special message from PianoMan

Chapter 3

Chapter 2

Chapter 1

Max headed home with a spring in his step. He still couldn't believe he'd allowed Tobin to pester him into signing up for SPRQS. He’d signed up with the younger man peering over his shoulder and offering advice for what to put in his profile to “help get the ladies”, all of which Max ignored.

Thankfully, Tobin hadn't said anything about him signing up in front of Zoey. Max had implied that he had no intention of signing up for the app, and Tobin willingly played along. Though, he did get the third degree from him later about it.

“Why didn’t you just tell her that you had already signed up?” Tobin asked.

“I don’t know, I panicked. I didn’t want Zoey to know, it seems a little desperate,” Max admitted.

“Bro, you’re already kind of desperate,” Tobin grinned. “Don’t think I haven’t seen you smiling every time your watch buzzes.”

“What...no...I don’t….” Max was interrupted by his watch alerting him to a new message from Red, he felt his lips quirk.

Tobin just looked at him knowingly.

“Shut up,” Max grumbled good naturedly. 

Tobin clapped him on the shoulder, grinning, “Nope, not desperate at all.”

He hadn't intended to ever use the app, but he'd glanced through a few profiles just out of curiosity. But then he found Red's profile and he just had to ask why she preferred Star Wars.

He hadn't been joking when he said that most of the women, he knew preferred Star Wars. Zoey, his sister Evelyn, even his sister-in-law Caroline all claimed that it was the superior franchise. Who knew such a ridiculous question would be the start of…. whatever this was.

He grinned thinking of the messages they'd exchanged already. She was smart, funny, and she wanted to keep talking to him, all wins in his book. Even if nothing romantic came of this, at least he had found someone else to talk to. 

Max tossed his backpack on the counter, said a quick hello to his cat Ollie, and headed straight for the piano.

He spent nearly an hour getting the recording ready to send. He was so nervous, though he wasn't sure why. He had played the piano for people before, but there was something just more intimate about recording it for only one person to hear.

Before he could change his mind, he hit send on the message. She had mentioned something about learning more about music, but just in case he had attached a lyric sheet with the recording.

He glanced at Ollie, who was sitting next to him on the piano bench. "What do you think, Ollie?"

Ollie tilted his head and looked up at him.

*Mrowr?*

"Hopefully, she likes it."

*Prowr?*

"Just someone I started talking to online, today," Max responded, reaching over to pet Ollie.

*purr*

"Now, we just have to wait for her to respond. How's Chinese for dinner sound? I'll even let you have a shrimp."

*MROWR!*

Max chuckled as he ordered dinner, hoping food would provide a distraction for him. Anything to keep from worrying about what she might think of his playing.

An hour later he was picking at his food, with still no response from Red.

He sighed, setting the container down, she must have hated it and was too afraid to tell him.

His watch buzzed, almost as though it had sensed his despair.

He took a deep steadying breath before opening the message.

"Wow…. that was…. wow…" She sent him.

"Is that a good wow or a bad wow?"

"Are you kidding me? That was an, ‘I'm so impressed that I can't even form coherent sentences,’ wow."

Max felt himself blushing, embarrassed by her praise.

"You really liked it?"

"It was amazing."

He grinned, feeling pleased.

"Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'm happy to play more for you anytime you want."

"Careful, a girl could get used to that."

Was she flirting? It seemed like she might be, but he never really could tell. Max was flustered, how was he supposed to respond, did he flirt back?  Luckily, he didn't have to wait to figure it out. 

"Oh God, that came across way flirtier than I intended. I promise, I don't go around just throwing myself at strangers online."

He chuckled, she seemed as nervous as he was about all of this.

"I believe you, though for the record if you were flirting with me, I wouldn't object."

"I'll keep that in mind. ;) It's getting late though, I should probably turn in. Goodnight, Billy. Thank you for the song."

"Goodnight, Red."

He glanced up with a grin at Ollie, who had his head in the abandoned carton, deciding to help himself to the leftovers. 

Max scooped him up, and spun around the room, grinning like a fool. "She liked it, Ollie! She liked my song!"

*Prowrr?* 

"Well, no I'm not sure exactly where this is going. But it definitely feels like it's the start of something."

*Mrowr* 

Ollie leapt out of his arms, and gave a big yawn.

"You're right, we should turn in." Max put away the leftovers and tossed the empty containers. He headed to his bedroom, all the while grinning and humming ‘She's Got a Way’.

________________________________________________________________

Zoey knocked on Mo's door as soon as she got home, eager to tell him all about her foray into the world of online dating.

Mo opened the door and Zoey walked in, "So, my boss decided to sign me up for a dating app….and I may have spent a good portion of today talking to this one guy on it. Long story short, he is sending me a recording of him playing the piano."

Mo raised his eyebrows and headed to the kitchen to pour them both a glass of wine. "So, you met someone on a dating app and talked to only him all day and now he's going to play piano for you? Color me impressed; you've had a busy day."

Zoey smiled and took a sip of her wine.

"So, what does he look like? Is he cute? I mean if he plays piano, he probably has those lovely pianist's fingers…."

Zoey coughed as she inhaled her wine. "Pianist's fingers?" 

Mo looked at her, "Oh yes, child. Have you never noticed a man's hands before? Mmm, they can be a thing of beauty. And as a pianist, he definitely knows how to use them."

She turned bright red, "Can't say I had before, but now that's literally all I can think of."

 Mo grinned, “Come on now, tell me about this new man."

"Well, the app is all based on getting to know one another through messages. So, I don't know what he looks like, where he works or even his real name." Zoey explained.

"So, let me get this straight. You don't know who this person is, what they do or what they look like?"

"Pretty much," Zoey nodded.

"Well, if that doesn't sound like an easy way to get murdered."

"That's not what will happen!" Zoey insisted. "It's all about building a meaningful connection without having to worry about how you look or how they look. Besides, you don’t ever have to meet them if you choose not to."

"Well, if you do decide to arrange a meeting, let me know."

"Aww, so you can be there to support me?"

"No, so I can practice what to say to the news channels when they ask about your disappearance." Zoey rolled her eyes as Mo laughed. "Of course, to go with you."

"Joan has called dibs on going, too." Zoey drained her glass.

"Oh good, she can bring the popcorn."

 Zoey felt her watch buzz and saw that she had a download available from PianoMan.

"I, uh, need to go listen to this...alone…" she said, standing up.

"You go listen to his song, just remember what I said about his hands," Mo winked at her as she headed back to her apartment. 

She snuggled up on the sofa with her favorite blanket, before finally pressing play.

The sounds of delicate piano chords swept over her as she listened. She had never heard the song before, but it sounded so beautiful, it took her breath away. The song finished and she sat there in silence, absorbing what she had just heard.

She glanced down and saw a second attachment. He had sent her a copy of the lyrics, and included a note, “Just in case you don’t know this song.” She smiled; he had remembered that she mentioned not knowing much about music. She pressed play again, following along with the lyrics as she got lost in the feeling of the song.

She's got a way about her

I don't know what it is

But I know that I can't live without her

She's got a way of pleasin'

I don't know what it is

But there doesn't have to be a reason

Anyway

She's got a smile that heals me

I don't know why it is

But I have to laugh when she reveals me

She's got a way of talkin'

I don't know what it is

But it lifts me up when we are walkin'

Anywhere

She comes to me when I'm feelin' down

Inspires me without a sound

She touches me and I get turned around

She's got a way of showin'

How I make her feel

And I find the strength to keep on goin'

She's got a light around her

And everywhere she goes

A million dreams of love surround her

Everywhere

She comes to me when I'm feelin' down

Inspires me without a sound

She touches me and I get turned around

She's got a smile that heals me

I don't know why it is

But I have to laugh when she reveals me

She's got a way about her

I don't know what it is

But I know that I can't live without her

Anyway

She was even more moved as she read the lyrics, it was a beautiful song, and he played it wonderfully.

She listened to the recording several more times, until she had it memorized.

Glancing at the time she realized he had sent it to her over an hour ago and she still hadn't responded. Hopefully, she hadn't made him panic.

"Wow…. that was…. wow…" She sent him.

"Is that a good wow or a bad wow?"

Zoey laughed; did he really not know how talented he was?

"Are you kidding me? That was an, ‘I'm so impressed that I can't even form coherent sentences,’ wow."

She smiled, thinking about how many times she had listened to it already.

"You really liked it?"

She could tell he wasn’t fishing for compliments, he genuinely wanted to know what she thought.

"It was amazing."

"Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'm happy to play more for you anytime you want."

She felt her pulse quicken. He wanted to play more for her, and she wanted to hear him play.

"Careful, a girl could get used to that."

She panicked as she realized what she had just said. She blamed the wine for bringing out her flirtier nature.

"Oh God, that came across way flirtier than I intended. I promise, I don't go around just throwing myself at strangers online."

'Even if said strangers are sweet, kind of dorky and can play piano,' she mumbled to herself.

"I believe you, though for the record if you were flirting with me, I wouldn't object."

She gasped slightly. So, flirting was something he was open to….

"I'll keep that in mind. ;) It's getting late though, I should probably turn in. Goodnight, Billy. Thank you for the song."

"Goodnight, Red."

She headed off to bed, humming the song he had played her as she drifted off to sleep, dreaming of her mystery man with pianist's fingers.

[peachyjie]

Whipped || Zhu Zheng Ting

A/N : This is my very first requested scenario, you guys dont know how hyped i am while writing this. I am all giddy, so ya’ll have to love this and the anon who request this! *no i am not forcing you*

Requested : YES! first out of all! (Req still open, my WIP is still fairly empty lol)

Pairing : Zhu Zheng Ting - Reader

Cameo : Troublemakers Yuehua Beans / Kids (Quanzhe, Justin and ChengCheng)

Genre : Mafia!AU + slight!angst + fluff

Summary : You never realized how whipped ZhengTing is for you. Because despite the cold exterior, his insides will always melt the moment you walk in the room. He just doesn’t show it.

————•————

The soles of shoes hitting the ceramic gives out a cold vibe as Zhengting walks in the empty corridor. He made a turn and walks in the meeting room.

In the room already seated by his other teammates in the respective order, surrounding the round table. Li QuanZhe, the double agent. Huang Justin, the lure. And Fan ChengCheng, the blackmailer.

“Our next target”, Quanzhe said as he slides the black folder to Zhengting.

He grabs it and flips the pages, skimming down all of the data. He nodded.

“Xing Coorperation, game developing company at day and sweet drug heaven at night. Killing the innocents for human trafficking and loan sharks that targets the weak”, Zhengting explained briefly.

Chengcheng who’s on his Ipad, scrolling through the files scrunched his brows. He stared at Zhengting as the older raised his eyebrow for question.

“Isn’t the CEO like works with the government?”, Chengcheng didn’t know if he regret asking or not. Because right now the face of Zhengting is so sinister and cold, ready to kill.

“Exactly, lets say the government also uses them for money. Dirty money, to fill all of his needs for useless things whilst society crumbles”

“And what better way for us to fix this? Because people whoe are a problem and toxic to society deserves to be killed”, Zhengting walks to the table. He rests his hands on the wooden material, folder resting beside his hand.

“Quanzhe, I need you to hack into their system. Secure all data on all of their asserts and deals with their client”, Quanzhe nodded and ran out to retrive his laptop in his room.

“Justin, lure them. Act like a client and give command. Have some fun kid, make blood spills. And bring some backups with you”, Justin giddily nodded.

At the same time the door opened, revealing Quanzhe who went in hurriedly. Sitting down at his seat, he madly typed on his laptop.

“As for you”, Zhengting stared at Chengcheng who is expectant. “You’re going with me, we’re taking the boss. And since i am in a good mood today, I’ll give you the honor on pulling the trigger”, Zhengting smiled.

“SERIOUSLY?!”, all of them flinched by Chengcheng’s sudden yelp. Embarrassed, he coughed.

“I mean, for real?”, Justin swore he was gonna slap his Ge for his fake cool exterior. Zhengting looks at all of them and nodded.

“Ambush starts tonight and remember it’s either living in a toxic society or we make the society-“

Zhengting was interrupted by Quanzhe sudden action, slamming the laptop close and standing up. The younger looks at his leader, pupils shaking.

“Y/N’s here”, at the same time Quanzhe finished the sentence. They heard the front door jiggling, soon they heard a click.

Zhengting stared at the others, in a panic motion he slams his hand on the table gaining everyone’s attention.

“Act normal! Justin, scatter your school works! Now!”, the door started jiggling again.

In panic, Justin squeled as he took his school bag. Turning it upside down, he shook the bag scattering all book and papers on the table.

They saw the door opening slowly, in panic the others hid all of the data under the table. Hoping you won’t noticed.

“Hi”, you peaked inside and smiled

It was a moment of silence. You stared at them and the awkward situation.

Justin holding his bag upside down in a frantic face. Chengcheng’s face was so pale, his hand shaking whilst holding his Ipad playing his game, you almost thought he had seen a ghost. Whilst Quanzhe is shaking in his seat, hands over his laptop.

You looked at Zhengting in confusion, he shrugs and clears his throat. “I brought you guys lunch”, you held up a plastic bag from their favorite chinese restaurant nearby, hoping to ease the situation.

“Y/N!!!”, you heard a scream before getting tackled down by Justin and Chengcheng. Zhengting took the bag and put it on the table, before helping you out of their clingy embrace.

Zhengting glared at the younger whilst they cowered away. You smiled being in your boyfriend’s embrace and looked up to him. He stared at you back, noticing you wide smile.

“Hi, Ting”, and pecked him on the cheek. Zhengting swore he was all mushy and soft, he knew he shouldn’t show that soft side so he coughed instead.

You would be hurt, but you couldn’t because the slight tint of pink on his cheeks, it was already a proof to you that he likes you as much as you like him.

“Ge is so whipped for Y/N”, Zhengting turned around to look at Justin who have his mouth full with noodles. “What did you say?”, Zhengting warns tbe younger.

“He said, you’re so whipped for Y/N”, Chengcheng repeats for him. Quanzhe almost wants to slap Chengcheng for being so dumb.

“Are you?”, still in the same posture you stared at him expectant. Zhengting just looked at you and shrugs coldly.

You sigh a little but nodded. Pulling yourself out from his embrace, you walk near the empty space beside Chengcheng and sat down. Pulling your food and Zhengting’s food our, preparing for lunch.

You waved him to sit next to you, which he obliged anyway. You all ate in silence.

Justin and Chengcheng stared at the lover in confusion, aren’t lovers supposed to be all mushy and disgusting with each other?

They looked at Quanzhe in approval, which he replied with a small shake meaning no. They did it anyways

“You know Y/N, believe it or not. Zhengting Ge here is soft for you despite having a cold exterior”, this grabs your’s and Zhengting’s attention.

You look at them in confusion by the sudden topic. “Whenever he heard you are coming, he would have this soft smile on his face and talks about your arrival nonstop”, Chengcheng added.

Quanzhe just stared at them, noting to hold Zhengting back later before he starts murdering Justin and Chengcheng.

“It’s funny how Ge here is so whipped for you, but in the outside world he is known to be the coldest ma-“, You didn’t know what just happened.

But in a blink of an eye, you say Zhengting strangle Justin almost choking the younger in advance. He swore if their secret, his secret is known by you, it will ruin everything.

Zhengting knows he never tells you this, but the first time he saw you, he was so intrigued by your existence. And he didn’t know what got you to like him and accept his favor to go out.

Zhengting always thought this world to be a cold ruthless world. Even if he died, he wouldn’t care that much.

But after meeting you, and your constant affection to him. Your smile, your existence, your love, you. He finds it so hard to just open up, fearing that everything he do will cause a life. Your life

He felt like there’s a reason to stay alive, hence he was afraid of his job. Of losing you

He was still headlocking the younger before noticing your giggle. Everyone stared at you in confusion.

“I know”, you stated.

You stared at Zhengting, securing his gaze on yours. Zhengting swore having eye contact with you could almost make him lose everything. He is whipped for you, but why can’t he just show it.

Your eyes, your touch, everything screams your love for Zhengting. You openly showed it to him, you openly always tells him about your life despite him hiding his.

But never once you complained about it, never. Zhengting always wondered how he got so lucky to have so much love, yet he can never do the same

He walks back to his seat, eyes gazed upon you. He took your hand slowly, locking his gaze on yours.

You swore you were blusing under the intensity of his stare. But you almost died inside when he kissed your knuckles.

The very first affection he ever shows in your 2 months of relationship. You heard Justin and Chengcheng whooping in the background, but that wasn’t the focus.

Zhengting stared at you, eyes filled with raw emotion. He felt the desperation to show how much you meant to him.

He lets go, breaking the small kiss and looks at you. A small genuine smile on his face.

“They’re right, I am so whipped for you, Y/N”

|| Scars ||

[cryptidvoidz]

Keep Them Safe: Chapter Seven

Based on @whatwashernameagain‘s fic: Keep Him Safe

Warnings: Angst, blood, beatings, knives, choking, cursing, hint at non-consenting sexual acts.

Chapter One

Tag List: @himrachel @whatwashernameagain

A/N: OMG ANOTHER CHAPTER?! Well, guess what, the newest chapter of KHS has me shook, and I was struck with MAJOR inspiration to write this.

Chapter Seven (AO3 link)

Redmond balances on the edge of the curb, arms outstretched as he tiptoed along. He told Dexter and Oliver he could pick up the little minion from his first day of school today, but that was a couple of hours away, and the man felt too antsy to really stay still or inside. Oliver avoided the topic of the day before, seeming incredibly nervous and shy. The long haired male couldn't blame him. The whole situation was unexpected, and from what he was able to gather (because he couldn't remember much), he had asked to go home with the detective. When he had woken up this morning, he felt better than he had in ages, so perhaps him being so touch-starved wasn't really a shocker.

The things he could remember, though, brought a smile to his lips. Waking up, the first thing he had seen was the small detective cuddled up against his chest. The sight was absolutely breathtaking, from the way the man's fingers had latched onto his shirt, to the way the sun turned his hair into fire, the flames lazily flickering in every direction. Redmond could see the stars in his freckles that dusted across his cheeks and nose, and quietly mapped out full constellations. Gently carding his fingers through the cherry red hair allowed him to see the platinum blonde and dark brown roots starting to show. Even after all these years, Oliver still kept his hair dyed a pristine crimson, taking great care of it to make sure that it stayed soft and manageable. To anyone who didn't know the man, they'd probably think this was his natural hair color.

Oliver also had a nice, slim build, hiding muscles under the lean exterior, reminding the man of a cat, powerful with a sleek frame, able to silently stalk its prey. He had run his fingers lightly down Oliver's arms, breath catching as he felt the familiar raises in skin. The detective's arms were decorated with an array of crisscrossing scars, all different lengths and sizes. Tears stung the backs of his eyes because in the sixteen years that he had known the redhead, there had only ever been a couple here and there, and they had always faded within a few months. Those? Those weren't fading any time soon.

Running his hands through his loose hair, Redmond checked his phone, sighing dejectedly as he saw the time. Still an hour and fourty-three minutes to go. He let his feet carry him to the cafe. Going inside wasn't his plan, however, as he stepped into the alley and grasped at the ladder. Laying on the rooftops helped him think his entire life, and right now, he needed to think.

For example, what was he going to do about Oliver? He certainly didn't hold a grudge now. Once he had realized that his mom had been the reason Oliver had said those harsh words, all of his anger and hurt melted away. And to see how that bitch still had a hold of him to this day made him protective. He remembered the pain in those mismatched eyes. He knew that pain. That was the pain of loving someone who, quite obviously, didn't love you back. Redmond had felt it with his ex. But Oliver? He'd been dealing with that pain for twenty-eight years, unable to cut ties with the mom he tried so hard to impress, only to be met with disappointment and rejection for who he was. The texts Redmond had seen the day before had shown him more than enough.

A buzzing from his pocket let him know it was time to go pick up Danny. It was only a short walk to the school, thankfully, because Redmond's car was still at Dexter's, all the way across town. As he walked, he found his mind drawn back to Oliver. More specifically, how gorgeous he was, and how the barista could get him to keep smiling, because dammit, if Oliver's smile wasn't the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen, then he didn't know what was. The tall man's heart melted, just a little, as he realized just what the detective was to him. Even after all of these years, he still loved the redhead, and never realized it.

Spotting the familiar black winderbreaker with yellow stripes, he waves and broke out into a smile. "I'm over here, little minion!" Redmond called, bracing himself as kid turned into a blur that shot straight towards him. Laughing, he sidestepped and scooped up Danny, who was giggling hysterically.

"Red! I didn't know you were picking me up!" The man in question raised his eyebrows, taking in the paint covered seven year old, chuckling.

"Well, surprise, minion, you're stuck with me all day until your Aunt Rose picks you up for that sleepover. And you want to know what I was thinking? That maaaaybe, you and I, Danny, could be lazy and watch Disney. Even order some of that Chinese food that you love, hm?" Seeing the kid squirm with excitement and start to ramble on about his day, he decided he made up his mind on where him and Oliver stood.

The first thing Oliver noticed when he walked in was Roman's eyes. They were tinged red, an obvious sign of tears. And then he tripped. Within earshot of the desk, thankfully. Jake helped the smaller detective up, smiling gratefully and glancing back at Roman and Logan. It took everything Oliver had to not flinch away from the stoic detective. Normally, Detective Sanders never radiated this much anger. It was unnerving. He caught the name "Virgil Raine" as he walked away.

Hastily, he brought up records for the name, and sure enough, there was one currently detained in one of the holding cells. And from the looks of it, this was the wildcat he had heard Roman talking about to Logan. The pieces fit together. Roman's state of mind, Logan's anger. Oliver's deduction? Both were too emotional to deal with this properly. Snatching up the whiteboard and red marker he usually carried around, the tiny detective stalked out of the office, headed straight to the holding cells, lips pursed.

Logan cared a lot for his partner, and was overprotective. Roman was blinded by an infatuation with this gang member. Rather simple. The purple sneakers came to a halt outside a cell, and the blue and silver eyes came into contact with the same eyes from Patton's bakery. An emotionless face met the sneering one, and soon the gang member faltered. Oliver cocked his head, his intense stare causing the criminal to shrink back. He wrote on his whiteboard, showing it to the man in the cell. "Why are you here?"

Apparently, this man wasn't as much of a hardened criminal as he thought because swiped at Oliver through the bars, and immediately went to the back of the cell as the detective easily dodged and continued to stare him down. The red haired man caught the word "traitor" and smiled, waving cheerfully and walking away, knowing full well the look of confusion on the criminal's face.

Oliver could just barely make out sobbing from one of the cells, and peered in. Aha, there you are, little wildcat, Oliver thought, quickly stepping inside as he assessed the condition of this cell's inhabitant. The first thing he noticed was the large, handshaped bruise on the young man's neck. Next, the split lip and bruise that stretched across his cheek. Virgil shrank further against the wall, and the detective could see the terror in his eyes.

So Detective Frey did something that the other didn't expect; he sat right on the floor across from Virgil, legs crossed as the marker flew across the board. "What happened?" it said.

The gang member just eyed him fearfully before curling back up. Oliver's eyes traveled to the wall next to Virgil's head. Specks of blood on the wall. His eyes narrowed, remembering Roman's bandaged hand. Well, this week was just the week for punching walls. He connected the dots quickly. His best guess was that Virgil had planned on selling out the gang, based on the other member's mention of traitors, and said gang member told both Logan and Roman all about how Virgil was using the younger detective. It was all quite obvious. Divide and conquer tactic. A misunderstanding. But Oliver knew that without proof, neither of the other detectives would listen to reason, which, hilariously, was illogical, as Logan would often say. Scribbling on his whiteboard again, he held it out for the other to read, smiling gently.

Virgil stared at the whiteboard in shock and opened his mouth to speak, yet nothing could come out. But the detective saw a glimmer of hope in his eyes and smiled wider, standing up. He fished around in his pocket, bringing forth a cinnamon candy he always kept with him for stress. Unwrapping it, he held it out to the wildcat and, once the other finally took it and popped it into his mouth, smirked warmly, holding a fingering to his lips. Our little secret, it conveyed.

Oliver shivered. It had started to rain a bit ago, and his hiding place wasn't exactly sheltered from the cold, wet drops. Luckily for him, he had managed to sneak into the Scorpions' hideout. Unfortunately, he was now surrounded with no way to escape. They had no idea he was here, but there was no way he'd leave without getting caught. At least, that's how it was.

His phone started to buzz, alerting the convicts. "Who's phone was that?"

"What do you mean? That's not my phone."

"Jimmy I swear to god..."

"It's not me!"

Suddenly, the voices got closer. Fuck.

"Hey, looky here! We got ourselves an intruder! Boss, come look!" Oliver found himself face to face with a drug addicted gang member leering at him. Oliver made and unimpressed face and stood straight, brushing himself off. He had to pretend that this didn't bother him, the fact he was surrounded by more people than he could take on. He thanked the heavens he had time to send the audio file to Logan and hide his phone. He had managed to record enough proof that Virgil was in fact innocent, as well as gather info about the gang itself. The detective wasn't all that sure that the file had gone through, but that wasn't his main concern right now. His main concern was the towering man who was making his way through the criminals. His arms were covered in tattoos of naked women and scorpions, and there was a trashy teardrop tattoo underneath his left eye. Oliver could tell by the way the man carried himself that he was the leader.

The detective fought the urge to take an involuntary step back, opting for a warning snarl. "What are you, a little kitten? Do you really think you're intimidating?" The man stood a good foot and a half above the detective as he mocked him, the laugh carrying a threat. He made a motion and in a blink of an eye, Oliver deflected the blows of two gang members and grounded them. The two groaned on either side of him, and the leader's look darkened.

"Kick his ass, Hector!" a voice yelled from the back, causing a deadly glint to appear in the man's eyes. Uh-oh, this isn't good...

The leader, who was apparently called Hector, grabbed the detective's tie, yanking him close to inspect his face. Rather than reward him with the terror he expected, Oliver spit in his face, a lopsided grin springing to life on his face. His show of defiance only resulted in the man's large hand closing in around his throat.

Oliver was hoisted up off the ground and shoved against the wall behind him. Black dots swarmed his vision and he clawed at the hand that held him captive, attempting to breath. His feet started to kick wildly, fear setting in. One of his feet landed on his captive’s chest, causing the latter to loosen his grip just enough for Oliver to inhale some of that sweet, sweet air.

He gasped as a force spread across his face, dazing him. The pain that set in a few moments later made him realize that Hector had decked him. Taking a command from some unseen signal, the gang set on him like a pack of wolves. The small male let out a small whimper, his mouth running dry as the members pummeled him. Through the pain, he managed to assess the injuries with a (somewhat) clear head. At least two broken ribs and a shit ton of bruises. He felt his hair grabbed and the ground rushed at him. He tried to focus. One concussion.

Vaguely grasping at some form of comprehension, Oliver was dragged upright. His shirt had been ripped slightly during the scuffle, and the members holding him snickered with glee at see what their leader had in store for the intruder.

A flash caught Oliver’s eye. A knife. He settled a defiant gaze on the holder of the weapon, the leader looking back at him with a malicious glint in his eyes. Oliver wouldn’t show him any sort of weakness. He felt the blade along the side of his neck, and in one swift movement, the choker he had been wearing fell to the ground. Blood trickled down, but the detective refused to give in, breathing in and out calmly. “Mm, you’re a tough cookie to crack, aren’t you?” The leader chuckled, pacing in front of the other, like a cat toying with its food.

Oliver just continued to maintain an even, cold gaze, unable to speak, but not really caring. The threatening man in front of him cut open the front of his shirt even more, dragging the knife across his bare chest lightly. “Perfect,” he muttered lovingly.

Pain erupted as the gang leader suddenly started to carve into Oliver’s chest, causing a few whimpers. “What a pretty boy you are. Who knows? Maybe I’ll be able to have some fun after all..."

Finally, the fear Oliver had been keeping at bay crept into his eyes as they widened, the implications obviously as Hector grabbed his face and planted a hard kiss to the detective's lips. He struggled in vain, but as the imposing character grew closer for comfort, he understood that he wasn't getting out of it. He tried to swallow past the lump in his throat, squeezing his eyes shut and gritting his teeth.

Roman glanced down at his phone, not really caring. That day's events had left him warn out and heartbroken, the shattered feeling in his chest aching dully at this point. A quick swipe showed him that it was Oliver. Opening the text, the princely detective frowned, eyebrows knitting together. An address?

Another text.

Detective Prince inhaled sharply. "Logan, get your ass up, we need to leave right now!

"What? Why?" Logan walked from the bathroom, shoulders tense at the tone of his partner's voice.

Roman simply showed him the phone, Logan's face paling before he stiffened, swiftly throwing on his jacket.

Neither of them, in the years they had worked with the mute detective, had they ever received a text like that from Oliver. It meant he was in severe trouble.

The young detective stared down at the text, his mind going a million miles an hour. He felt a hand on his, tugging him along. Roman continued to go through all the worse possible scenarios, hoping to god that none of them was true. Logan sped the whole way there, his knuckles white from gripping the steering wheel.

Oliver: plshlpme

Lights blinded him, making him even dizzier as he dragged himself a couple more inches. He felt arms grab him gently, mentioning something about the hospital. What hospital? Why did he need to go to the hospital? His head rolled back, illiciting a small whimper from the contact with the gash in his head. Why did he hurt so much? He felt arms around him, and he latched on, only feeling terror.

"Shh, Oliver, you're going to be okay..." A couple of drops fell on his face, and sharps gasps filled the car. He wondered why...

There, on the small detective's chest, was a crudely carved scorpion.

OH WOW AN ANGSTY CHAPTER :D I got close to 3000 words with this one because I couldn’t stop writing and I just didn’t want to leave it like that, yknow?

[onceuponanolicity]

Oliver searches out Felicity to find out information on Derek Reston.

                                                                                                                      “So where are we going exactly?” Diggle asked as they entered the elevator at Queen Consolidated a week later.

           “To visit a friend.” Oliver bobbed his head from side to side as if even he was uncertain of his own words. “Sort of.”

           “Does this friend have a name?”

           “Felicity Smoak,” Oliver told him. Diggle’s eyes rolled upwards. By his expression, Oliver could tell he already dismissed this whole meeting as nothing more than superficial. “Not that kind of friend, Digg.” Not that Oliver had not thought about it. Actually, since his return the thoughts of what could have been between him and Felicity haunted him more and more. If he had never left on the Gambit, maybe he and Felicity could have managed to finally make something of the feelings that circled around them for years. It might be too late for them, but that did not mean that Oliver could stay away from her any more than he could when he was younger, which was the exact reason he was at QC now. Well, that and Felicity had a certain skill set that he needed.

           “What’s the plan?” Diggle asked him as the elevator ascended up to the floor where Felicity would be located.

           “I’m going to see if she can pull up any information on Reston.”

           The elevator opened and the two men stepped out at the executive floor. Oliver had left a message on Felicity’s phone to meet them there, so he wasn’t surprised to find her there already.

           “Well, that’s different,” Diggle said with a slight bit of awe in his voice when he took in Felicity’s appearance.

           Oliver glared over at him before he pulled open the door to the offices that Walter used. “I told you. She’s a friend.”

           Felicity looked up from her laptop and smiled at the two of them. Though if Oliver was not wrong, the smile seemed tentative. What was making her so nervous? “What did you need today?”

           Diggle went to go lean against Walter’s desk while Oliver settled on the couch across from Felicity. Oliver studied her for a moment. She did not look much different from the last time he had seen her at the offices. In fact, he was pretty sure that was the same pink blouse. The one he memorized on his phone.

           “Oliver?”

           Her question snapped him out of his thoughts. “Sorry. I was hoping that you could help me track someone.”

           Diggle watched the two of them interact and he smiled. Oliver might claim that this girl was just a friend, but there was definitely more to the story that what Oliver had told.

           Felicity had this cute way of talking back to Oliver without being outwardly insulting and by Oliver’s reactions, he was not immune. Oliver actually seemed animated with the blonde present. It was a side of him that Diggle had never really seen before. Not even when Oliver was around Tommy, Laurel or his family.

           There was really only one other person that Oliver seemed to let down his guard with and that was Thea. For all the stories that Diggle had heard about Oliver and Laurel, he more expected this kind of reaction from the two of them, rather than the one in front of him now.

           Which led to the question, who was Felicity Smoak in relation to Oliver Queen? She was not exactly the type that Diggle would have pictured for the man he was getting to know. Let alone the kid he used to be. Felicity seemed to have a bullshit meter where Oliver was concerned. One that even Oliver’s own mother lacked. It was exactly what Oliver needed and avoided.

           Oliver preferred to lie and hide from anyone who got too close. Which was strange since this woman Oliver specifically sought out, revealing things with his questions and searches that could lead to questions about what Oliver was hiding. Diggle had seen his friend with computers. He wasn’t a novice. Diggle was pretty sure that Oliver could have discovered what he needed to know about Derek Reston all on his own. Oliver had rigged the forty million dollar heist from Adam Hunt after all. Discovering that Weston worked for QC before disappearing off the grid did not seem as complicated.

           When Felicity rose to leave, Digg did too. He walked quickly over to the doors to hold them open for her. It gave him that much more time to study the woman who intrigued Oliver so much. The second the doors were closed, it was time to get back to business. “What’s the plan now, boss?”

           “Now we talk to Derek Reston.” Oliver rose from the couch and walked over to Diggle’s side.

           “Did you get everything you needed from Felicity?” Diggle noticed the slight change in Oliver’s expression at the mention of her name. The fact that Oliver clammed up until they reached the bunker gave Diggle all the answers he needed.

OQFSOQFSOQFS

           Felicity stood in front of her closet and sighed. Even if she wanted to go to the fundraiser Tommy was throwing for CNRI, she had nothing to wear. Throwing the invitation that lay in her hand on the bed, Felicity reached for her phone. She’d just have to call Tommy and let him know she wasn’t coming. It would be so much easier over the phone anyway. It was the fact that he talked her into it over lunch with all his Tommy Merlyn charm that led to the situation she was currently in.

           Leaving a message, Felicity redialed the phone to order in some Chinese food and began to wait. The waiting brought her over to her laptop and she pulled it onto her lap as she collapsed on the couch. Walter may have left town for a business trip, but that did not mean there wasn’t more to find on Tempest. Only her fingers froze over the keyboard as she remembered her earlier meeting with Oliver.

           What was going on with him? First he brings her a laptop riddled with bullets. If he had his way, she would have just ignored that fact. Then when she went to his part and he barely spoke a dozen sentences to her. He seemed like all he wanted to do was push her away, much as he had when they were younger. So, why ask to see her again? About a friend that Felicity was pretty sure that he never really knew.

           None of it made any sense. Neither did his attitude. One minute he was the charming guy everyone thought he was, the next sullen and reserved. When he noticed that people were getting too close to him, he shut down completely and escaped. If not literally, then mentally. Felicity dealt with mood swings before, but Oliver was taking it to whole new levels.

           What had happened to him? Felicity knew something had. She saw some of the scars and the tattoo that lay over his heart. There were more differences than what was physical though. Even if those physical changes were very evident by the muscle structure he had gained. There was an air about him that held more confidence, something he lacked in his younger years, despite the bravado. More than that, there was something in him that radiated the experiences that he lived through. Ones that would break a lesser man. It was like Oliver had finally become the man that she could see he could be if he just stopped and grew up.

           A knock on the door of her apartment made her jump. She had no idea she had sat there that long reminiscing over Oliver. It was not like she ever be able to get answers. No, Oliver was much more likely to hand her some bullshit story of the spilled latte variety.

           Grabbing her purse, Felicity went to pay for her dinner. She needed to dwell on the answers she could find out, what Moira planned for Tempest.

           Which was why Felicity stood there stunned with her door wide open and her wallet falling to the floor when instead of Chinese food she found Oliver Queen. A well-dressed Oliver Queen. If there was a magazine for suit porn, he’d be on the cover, every freaking month.

           “You’re not dressed,” he told her as he swept past her into her living room.

           “I’m not going,” Felicity told him as she picked up her wallet.

           Oliver turned around and smiled at her. “So, you know exactly what I’m talking about.”

           “The fundraiser.” Felicity closed her front door and leaned back on it. “No. I’m not going. I called Tommy.”

           “Why not?” His brow creased as if he could not figure out why she would not be going.

           Felicity could not believe his audacity for even showing up. He had barely spoken to her outside of those few times that she done something for him and his party. And now here he was at her apartment. One she never told him she lived in. What the hell? “Because I have things to do.”

           The doorbell rang and Felicity pulled herself off the panel to turn and answer it, but Oliver made his way there first. Felicity tried to wrestle the handle away from him but it only brought her body in contact with his. They both stilled. She felt his breath move the strands of her hair.

           “Felicity, let go. I don’t want to hurt you.” His voice came out rough, pleading.

           “That’s my dinner,” she complained.

           “Correction.” Oliver peeled her hand off the handle and set it by her side before opening the door. “It was your dinner.” Oliver reached inside his pocket and pulled a folded up fifty from his pocket and handed it to the guy. “Keep the change and leave the food there. Thanks.”

           Felicity was held back by Oliver’s body and could not do a thing when the guy left the food and Oliver closed the door. She glared up at him, her hands on her hips. “Thank you for paying, but can I please have my dinner?”

           “Sure.” He nodded down at her. “Get dressed.”

           “I don’t want to go. I honestly have things to do.”

           His eyes sparkled and for half a second Felicity was pretty sure there was a glimmer of lust as they lingered across her lips. His tongue came out and licked his lips making her own body react. Her nipples pebbled against her bra while her thighs clenched together.

           She saw him close his eyes in effort to compose himself. When they opened, the blue was almost gone. “Felicity, get dressed before I dress you myself.”

           “You wouldn’t dare.” Would he? What did she really know about him anymore? He seemed more than capable of doing it, but would he?

           Oliver advanced on her. Felicity refused to budge until he was almost on top of her. It was only then that she realized how large Oliver really was. He dwarfed her not only by his size but by bulk as well. Taking a step back, Felicity was about to run to her room when he grabbed her arm and yanked her against him. “Felicity.”

           His voice was breathy as he said her name, making her realize that there was a fine line for his patience. Well, too bad for him because she had no intention to go to the fundraiser tonight. “Fine, I’ll get dressed.”

           Oliver noticed she did not ask to be let go. It was just there underlining her words. She was anything but happy at that moment. But she seemed willing to comply with his request despite her reluctance. He released her because he had to or else he would have slammed her up against a wall and kissed her like he had longed to for too long. Like a man who wanted a woman.

           She made her way from him and Oliver glanced around her apartment. A poster featuring Robin Hood caught his eyes and a small smirk appeared at the corners of his mouth. If she only knew. Right below that was a pink starfish. Oliver stepped closer and admired the irony. His aim had definitely gotten better since he won her that silly toy. Her own winning was deep within the ocean as it had been sucked down with the Gambit. Sunshine. He had not thought of that dog in years.

           A knock sounded on the front door and Oliver went over to open it. An older lady with a cat in her arms stared up at him. She blinked a few times at him from beneath really thick glasses. “Hello.” She tried to peek past him inside Felicity’s apartment, but he blocked her inquiring eyes. “Is Felicity here? I wasn’t sure if she knew her food was outside.”

           “She’s getting dressed. Thanks.” Oliver picked up the bag of food. He graced her with his most charming smile and a wink. “I appreciate you letting us know.”

           “Who was that?” Felicity asked from her bedroom as he closed the door.

           “Someone, probably one of your neighbors, letting you know that you had food at your front door.” Oliver brought the food to her kitchen and unpacked it. Dumplings. Chicken Lo Main. Sweet and sour soup. He shoved all of it into her refrigerator and noticed that it barely had any food inside. Well, it was a good thing he was dragging her to the fundraiser. There would be plenty of food there and she’d have this for later. He was actually helping her out, Oliver assured himself.

           Hearing heels clacking on the floor, Oliver turned and made his way out of the kitchen. When he saw her, Oliver felt his mouth fall open. “What the hell are you wearing?”

           “My pajamas.” She glanced down at what she wore before her gaze returned to his. “You told me to get changed. You’re right I feel much more comfortable now.” She grimaced down at her feet. “Well, except for the shoes. What woman ever where’s heels inside their own place?”

           Oliver’s eyes climbed her body much as he wished she’d climb his. She looked so innocent standing there all in white. Pure.

He could not touch her, even if she gave him permission to do so. Oliver clenched his hands into fists. He would taint her. He was more monster than man and he could never show her that. Not now. Not ever. It would not be fair to either of them. For him to inject her with his darkness.

           And, yet, he was doing that anyway. Every time he saw her he showed her a little more of the inky swells that lingered around him. He needed to stay away and he couldn’t. He needed that purity, that light, to remind him that he could still function as Oliver Queen and not just the monster that had been created over the last half of a decade.

           That was why he needed to walk away, as tempted as he was to drag her out dressed as she was. Because he could never hurt her. He had done enough of that already.

           Oliver breathed heavily. He needed to ignore the fact that Felicity was one of the sexiest women he ever encountered. Especially dressed in the silken, white chemise she wore with straps thin enough that he could snap them between his fingers. She had no bra underneath and he saw her nipples puckering under his heavy gaze. The matching super short shorts left a ton of leg exposed. It made her look much taller than she actually was, especially paired with those bright red patent heels. On top of all of that, she tried to make it all a little less sexy with a short cotton robe that lay open and fell to her knees. Her blonde hair was clipped up leaving her neck exposed. Fuck, she was an angel sent to tempt him.

           Oliver tried to steady his nerves, but he was pretty sure they were already shot. “I said to change so you could go to the fundraiser.”

           “And I told you I had things to do.” Felicity walked over to him and tapped a light purple painted fingernail against his chest and then began to blush a light pink. “I mean I have things I need to accomplish. Which I can’t do if I go with you.”

           “And what exactly are you planning to do in that getup?” Oliver stepped forward leaving barely any space between them. Bending slightly he whispered in her ear. “Who’s coming over, Felicity?”

           “Why do you care?” Her eyes narrowed up at him. “Not that anyone is coming.” Her voice dipped down to an almost inaudible whisper, “Unfortunately.”

           A smile tilted at Oliver’s lips. “Then you’re not doing it right. Or he’s not.” Felicity groaned and covered her face with her hands. Oliver pried them away, holding them down at their sides. “I’m teasing. What’s so important? Do you need me to help?”

           Felicity shook her head, her cheeks still a pleasant pink. “Walter had me working on a project. It’s important that I finish it.”

           “Tommy is going to be upset that you are not going to be there.”

           “I know,” Felicity admitted, “but I just saw him at lunch. He should be fine.”

           “You did?” Oliver’s brow creased. “How long has that been…” Oliver shook his head. “Never mind. Look.” He reached out and tilted her chin up so that their eyes could meet. He tried to smile but emotion clogged his throat. “We were friends once. The three of us. I know things happened. A lot of things happened,” he said with a tilt of his lips. “But, I’d really like us to try to be friends again. I’m sure Tommy feels the same way.”

           Felicity briefly nodded. “I’ll think about it, but I can’t get out of this project. It’s important.”

           “Fine, but…” Oliver was interrupted by his phone buzzing in his coat. He reached inside and pulled it out. He held it out to her. “Tommy. He’s probably wondering what happened to me.”

           “Tell him, I’m sorry and that I’ll try to see him again soon.”  

           Oliver tucked his phone back in his pocket after sending off a quick text. When he opened his mouth, he could not quite believe what he heard. “What about me?”

           She smiled up at him. It was a small smile, but it still tugged at that part of him that he had almost forgotten existed. “It hasn’t stopped you thus far.”

           “Sure,” Oliver said completely unconvinced that she had an interest in seeing him again.

           But she shocked him when she rocked forward and pressed a kiss to his cheek. It took a moment for him to react. And for a man whose very life required quick action that was saying a lot. Oliver reached out and cupped the back of her of her head and shifted their position slightly so that their lips touched. It was not meant to mean anything more than to actually kick up a memory of their previous shared kisses.

           Then her hands landed on his shoulders and she opened under his tongue that slid against her lips. Passion flared within both of them. Their bodies clenched together and Oliver wondered why it had taken this long for this moment to happen. He had to be dreaming, because never once had Felicity shown any indication that his feelings were returned in any way.

           Pulling back, Oliver stared down at her. Her eyes blinked open, but they were hazy. She was beautiful. More beautiful than he remembered. Oliver pushed himself away. He was poison to her. Things like hope and love had been cut away from his life as much as the skin on his body had been. He had nothing to offer her. He couldn’t even offer her Oliver Queen, because he was only a hollow shell that he hid inside. She deserved a full, complete person. Someone capable of having a relationship.

           Staying away from her was his best, if only, option. He had to still convince himself he could.

           “Are you leaving?” Felicity asked as she stared at him in confusion, her hand lingering over her lips.

           “Yes. I have a fundraiser to attend.” The pull to kiss her again was strong. If he didn’t retreat now, he was not sure that he ever would. Oliver shoved his hands into his pockets to keep from reaching out. He nodded and went to the door. She followed him and opened it, which was perfect because Oliver was not sure if he released his hands that he would not have already had her in them. “Goodnight, Felicity.”

OQFSOQFSOQFS

           “It’s okay, man. You tried to save him,” Diggle told Oliver while he slammed around the bunker after Derek Reston passed away at the bank.

           “Not hard enough. If I had, they never would have robbed the bank.” Oliver shook his head as he locked his trunk closed. “I should have made sure they were never there to begin with.”

           “Like hell. You heard him earlier,” Diggle told him as he joined him. “He made the choice to keep going. Pleasing his family was more important than anything you might have said or offered.”

           Oliver turned to his friend after pounding on the lid of the trunk. “I have to disagree.”

           “Let’s rationalize this,” Diggle told him. “In what universe do you think you can make a grown man back down when his mind is set? In his head, he was convinced his family needed that money. You would’ve done the same if you were in his position and Thea asked it of you.”

           Dragging in a deep breath, Oliver raised a hand to his brow. Digg had a point. Family had a way of making crazy decisions seem sane. Why else would he have agreed to spend time with Carter Bowen?

           Speaking of… Oliver really needed to get home. He had to try to apologize to his mother. She deserved more than all of these lies and deceptions after the welcome she had given him after all the time he had been gone. Maybe Thea was right. He needed to open up a little more. Oliver had already tried with Felicity and failed in spectacular fashion. He did not need to think about that kiss right now.

           “What are you thinking about?” Diggle stood there with his arms crossed over his broad chest as he studied him. It was like Digg expected him to do something stupid. Well, he was wrong, Oliver had already done that earlier.

           “That I need to head home and talk to my mother.”

           Diggle shrugged. “That’s better than blaming yourself for something that’s not your fault.” Digg reached out and picked up Oliver’s suit jacket and shoved it at him. “I’ll drive.”

OQFSOQFSOQFS

           Oliver sat there watching his mother enjoy her burger and glanced around. This Big Belly Burger held a lot of memories. Why had it taken him this long to come here again?

           His eyes shot off to one corner. That was where Digg had dropped his and Tommy’s asses after their brawl at Poison. Then they shifted over to a table. The same spot where Oliver had spotted Felicity with that creeper that she dated back in high school. Oliver had wanted to kill that kid. Now he knew he was more than capable of doing it. Shifting his eyes over to the hall where the bathrooms lay, he thought of the fight that he and Felicity had over the whole thing. Glancing over to the other side of the restaurant, Oliver remembered the night when he asked Laurel to go out with him the first time after they had all watched a movie together. For the life of him, Oliver could barely remember what it was they saw that night.

           But, when movement caught his eyes and they returned back toward that hallway, Oliver could remember that conversation.

           “What the hell do you think you are doing?” he had asked her.

           “Having fun with my friends.” Oliver remembered how much it hurt when she emphasized friends, indicating he wasn’t one.

           “Go home, Felicity. That guy, the one you call a friend, he’s not me. And he certainly doesn’t care how young you are. You think you’re safe because Sara is with you, but you’re not.” Oliver had been so pissed off that night. He had watched all night long while the guy kept putting the moves on her. But, it was jealousy that underscored each one of the harsh words he sent her way.

“Then let me not be safe. My choice, not yours. My parent is fine with me being here. I don’t understand why you can’t be. Now, if you’ll excuse me, my friends are waiting.”

           Oliver smiled thinking about how he had thought about Thea. How he had hoped that his sister would not be half as much trouble as Felicity had been at her age. Oliver really never had the chance to find out. Thea had grown up past those years by the time he had returned home. But, he knew her now. She was even more trouble than Felicity. If only he knew back then what he knew now.

           “What’s so funny?” his mom asked.

           “I was just remembering something that happened here. It made me think about Thea and how headstrong she is.”

           Moira nodded. “I don’t know what to do about her lately. She seems to be growing up so quickly and I’m sorry to say that I should have been paying more attention.”

           Oliver reached across the table and took his mom’s hand in his own, squeezing it. “You did the best you could under the circumstances.”

           She smiled over at him and pressed his hand back. “We both did.”

@almondblossomme @lovethishealthylife @sunshine0977 @1106angel @miriam1779

[legit-min-yoongi-trash-tho]

BTS Intro Post

Title; BTS Intro Post

Genre; Info(??)

Type; Intro Post

Group/Member; BTS – OT7

Authors Notes; Enjoy! I’m soo terribly sorry it’s so late! Hope it’s what you wanted!! 😊 Also this is a rlly rlly long post with lots of facts and photos so um ye...have fun. Tbh all this post does is just prove what a big ‘ol piece of trash i am because 95% of these facts were from memory, I typed all dis shit out guys...im fuckin dead now. These are all facts from websites that I remember, certain nicknames are not necessarily what I call them but some dso. kbye 😊 x

{Requested}

oKAY SO SIT DOWN, SHUT UP, AND GET YO FEELS READY FOR BTS AKA BANGTANSONYEONDAN AKA BULLETPROOF BOY SCOUTS, AKA BEYOND THE SCENE, AKA THESE 7 DORKS WE STAN FOR SOME REASON!!

First up is Kim Seokjin {Jin, Jinnie, Mamma Jin, Princess Jin, Eomma/Eomma Jin, Pink Princess, Eat-Jin, Third Guy From The Left, Car Door Guy, Mr Worldwide Handsome, Seokjinnie}. Jin is the oldest brother, the oldest hyung in BTS and is basically their mother and let’s be honest our mother too.

Some facts;

 Born in Gwacheon, Gyeonggi-do, South Korea – it looks like dis;

 He’s got a papa, mamma, and hyung

 He majored in film at Konkuk University

 BTS be placin’ him as #1 visuals…I mean…he is gorgeous

 He has the longest legs & widest shoulders (60cm)

 He does this “traffic dance” which is adorable and you should go check it out, you won’t regret it

 He speaks a lil Chinese (Mandarin)

 Lil Jinnie usually cleans up the dorms (because he’s literally bangtans mum)

 He also rlly likes Disney princesses which is adorable

 He’s a v v good cook and has said he’s happiest when he’s with food (relatable jin m8)

 Fave number = 4

 Fave colour = blue (used to be pink, I think he still has a soft spot for it tho)

 Fave weather = spring sunlight

 Jin started playing Super Mario at like age 5 and Maple Story in Seventh Grade (Year 7) and he still plays them 😊

 When he’s hungry his left eye blinks a lot

 Fave foods = lobster, meat, Naegmyun, chicken, and greasy foods

 He’s friends with Jin Hyosang (Kidoh) from ToppDogg as Kidoh was under Big Hit Entertainment but left in 2012 and switched to Stardom Entertainment

 His role model is T.O.P from BIGBANG (same boi, same)

 He has lots of Nintendo games and Action Figures

 When he was younger he wanted to be a detective

 He wears rlly strong prescription glasses but doesn’t like wearing them because he’ll become insecure (I think we can all agree that Jinnie bean would look absolutely adorable in glasses??)

 He has a cute lil dog named JJanggu

 He likes Alpacas

 Jin can play guitar and piano

 He says V is the member he’s the closest to

 Jin says if he’d get a day off he would want Suga to be his servant so he an order him around

 If he were a girl, he said he would date Jimin because he is shy and someone like Jimin would help him open up and be social

 Jungkook and Jin bicker a lot, and a taxi driver once thought they were twins because of their nonstop bickering

 He likes strawberries but not strawberry flavoured things (yO SAME THO)

 He makes a lot of dad jokes (goals)

 Suga is the only one who doesn’t laugh when he makes dad jokes

 Jin said that looking at bugs isn’t scary, but if they get on his body, that’s rlly scary

 He dieted for a year, only eating chicken breasts ☹

 He is friends with B1A4’s Sandeul, they even went to an amusement park together

 He’s also friends with VIXX’s Ken and Lee Won Keun

 Jin sang the OST of “Hwarang” alongside V, which is Part 2 – “It’s Definitely You” (can find it here)

 He was casted in Law of the Jungle in Kota Manado but left earlier than the other cast because BTS had an abroad concert that time

 After BTS attended the BBMAS (Billboard Music Awards), Jin got a lot of attention (internationally) for his v good looks

Other members about Jin;

 Jimin; “He’s the oldest, but he likes to whine” [after school club] / “He’s like a grandma”

 Jungkook; “Jin-Hyung looks manly and he’s chic like a wolf but personality-wise, he’s carefree so he’s sloth-like (laughs). He’s really nice and he’s also a good cook, so we call him ‘granny’ between us”

 Suga; “A wolf”

 V; “Prince”

 J-Hope; “A princess”

 Jin’s ideal girl is a girl whose looks and personality is similar to that of a puppy, who’s hood at cooking, kind and takes good care of him

Summary; Literal princess, BTS & army’s mother, loves food and cooking, a beautiful man wHO NEEDS MORE RECOGNITION PLS AND MORE LINES ISTG I WILL WALK ALL THE WAY TO SOUTH KOREA FROM ENGLAND ALL THE WAY TO BIG HIT AND DEMAND THIS SHIT

Okay so next up is my ultimate bias (in case you couldn’t tell) Min Yoongi {Suga, AgustD, Yoongles, Min PD, Syub Syub, Motionless Min, Genius (self-proclaimed but I can reveal that this is a true fact m8), Min Monarch, Min Suga, D Boy, Sub-Energy}. Yoongi is the second oldest in BTS and probs the most savage human upon the planet, he often seems like the grandpa of the group but he can also be kinda childish and lively sometimes ^_^

Some facts;

 He was born in Buk-gu, Daegu, South Korea – it looks like dis;

 He has a pappa, mamma, and hyung

 He attended/attends Global Cyber University

 Yoongles is usually in charge of fixing the things Rap Monster breaks. He changes lightbulbs, fixes the toilet etc (handyman ayyee 😉 )

 He is like the father or grandpa of BTS

  Although Rap Monster revealed that he sometimes acts like a 5 yr old (same m8, same)

  He usually scolds and nags the younger members when they make mistakes

  Yoongi chose to become a rapper after listening to “Fly” by Epik High

  His role models are; Kanye West, Lupe Fiasco, Lil Wayne, and Hit Boy

  He has a driving license but doesn’t usually drive

  Yoongi loves to play basketball and when he was a trainee he played basketball every Sunday

 He is quite blunt and straightforward, a trait of many ppl from Daegu

 When he was younger he wanted to be an architect

 His hobbies include reading comics, basketball, playing games, and taking pictures

 He writes/composes lyrics daily, and even writes lyrics when he’s in the waiting room, car, or even the toilet (dedicatioooon)

 He wrote the song ‘촣아요’ (Like It) under 40 minutes

 If he has a problem he usually talks to Rap Monster because their age gap is small, they have things in common, and they’ve known each other for quite some time

 Fave food = meat, meat, meat (same tho)

 Fave number = 3

 Fave colour = white

Suga comes from a poor family, in an interview he disclosed; “After we debuted, I went back to the dorm and sat there blankly staring. I could not believe that me, a kid from a poor daegu family, would be able to make it”. (you made it bby, so proud omf)

He speaks with a satoori accent when he’s nervous and when he cries ;-;

His ideal date would be something simple, “For me, just an ordinary date...I want to watch a movie, walk and would like to eat together”

When asked which member would he bring on a deserted island for 3 years, he answered Jimin.

Suga; “Jimin. To boss around. (LOL) Just kidding. I don’t talk a lot, I’m not the fun type, but Jimin is pleasant and mature, so I think it’d work out.”

Would date Jin if he were a girl

He loves taking photos (same)

His bad habit is biting his nails (also same ;-; )

3 things he likes are; sleeping, quiet places, places with no people

3 things he dislikes are; dancing, loud places, places where there are people crowding around

Fave weather; where you can wear short sleeves in the day and long sleeves at night

He thinks his looks are 50 out of 100; “Truthfully, when I see myself I think I’m ugly” (um liess boi, ur fuckin gorgeous so like…ye)

Other members about Suga;

Jin; “He likes being attached to his bed. He has a variety of knowledge and always gives help with that knowledge. I’m fascinated as to where he gets that weird knowledge from.”

J-Hope; “Is cool. His personality is quite strong on his own thoughts. Pretends not to care when he does. Seems like he’s all over the place, but is quite careful. That kind of personality. (Ah!! Personality where he only just shows strength ㅋㅋ)”

V; “He really has a lot of knowledge. He’s quite cool on stage. Cool and amazing. No answer to him being lethargic.”

Jeongguk; “He’s like a grandpa. But his passion towards music is overflooding. He also has a lot of knowledge. But he’s still a grandpa.”

Rap Monster; “Lingers on things more than you would think. He’s really timid once you get to know him. Full of random information. Grandpa. Although he seems cool – never… no no… Wants to be loved. Likes music. Has passion and stubbornness. Says what he wants to and can say everything well in front. Has style.”

Jimin; “He talks too much in front of you. He doesn’t hesitate, and although this is my personal thoughts, he likes being loved by the members ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ”

His ideal type is a girl who likes music, especially hip hop. He says he doesn’t really care about looks. He also wants a girl who can be very active when he wants to and very silent when he wants to. A girl that will always be by his side (boy im here, sign me tf up)

He has a male doggo named Holly and she’s deffo his weakness

Summary; The lethargic turtle of BTS with a both a savage side and a cutesy side that spits literal fire that needs to be protected imo. He is a lil been who can act 5yrs old one second and then act like an 80yr old man the next.

Now we have the actual sun personified, Jung Hoseok {J-Hope, Hobi, Hopi, Hoseokie, Sunshine boy, Your Hope, Your Angel, Hope, J-Horse}. Hobi is basically literal sunshine and so sweet. He has the voice of an angel and can also rap like a gOD, he’s also the main dancer for BTS and he has major skillz m8.

Some facts;

Born in Gwangju, South Korea

He got a mamma, pappa, and noona

He went to Gwangju Global High School; & Global Cyber University

Before he debuted, he hated doing aegyo but now he’s changed his mind (and we love his aegyo obvs)

Hobi and B.A.P’s Zelo went to the same academy for rap and dance in Gwangju

In his pre-debut days, he was part of a street dance team called NEURON

He won an underground dance battle and even performed at a festival (go hobiii) 😊

Initially he auditioned for JYP Entertainment, together with B.A.P’s Youngjae and Halo’s Dino

Fave colour = green

He has a cute doggo named Mickey

Hobi hates working out and exercising (I relate)

Used to be a tennis player in elementary school and played in competitions. He once received a bronze medal, out of 3 team competitors

He rlly likes melodramatic movies and remembers watching a lot of DVD’s when he was a kid, since his father also likes movies

His role models are; A$AP Rocky, J. Cole, Beenzino, G.D

He says he is closest to Jungkook

J-Hope’s motto “If you don’t work hard, there won’t be good results”

He likes visiting the Fancafe when he has time because he needs to know what are fans saying (always there for us armies)

When having problems or worries he would share them with Rap Monster or Suga (so cute 😊 )

When he was younger he was quite famous in the Gwangju dance underground

Things he wants to steal from other members is Jimin’s chocolate abs, Rap Monster’s rap skill and his good English

His ideal date; “I love the sea, I would like to walk down to the beach and hold hands (laughs)”

Other members about J-Hope;

Jimin’s first impression about J-Hope; “The first person I met was J-Hope. He was very friendly to me, ‘Excuse me, Jimin.’. So, I remembered J-Hope the most.”

Jimin about J-Hope’s mean side; “J-Hope is bright guy, laugh a lot and has become hopeful like his name. J-Hope has good energy that effects everyone in a good way and I think J-hope is awesome. And people think he’s always nice and innocent. But, inside his smiley face, there’s an evil living there. J-Hope winds me up all the time but never stop smiling even when he does that. But you can never punch someone who looks so happy like that. One day, I was sleeping and all of sudden he poked me and shook me saying,

‘Jiiiimiiiiiiiin, wake up and play with me!!!!’

So, I woke up. But right after I opened my eyes, he just grinned at me and went back to sleep like nothing happened. So, I thought,

‘Uuuugh! I can never say anything to him cause he’s older than me!’.

And once he told me he would give me a massage and started squeezing the back of my neck, and that got tighter and tighter! He was smiling at then too! At the end, I was getting upset but he didn’t stop it. He was doing it even harder and said,

‘This will relax your muscles.’

When I was sitting down at the rehearsal room during the break, he head locked me. He hit me once and left the room so I looked at him with a serious face for a second. J-Hope, the timid, came to the room only after three seconds and gave me some mischievous hugs and said,

‘Jimin! Are you upset at me? Are you?? You are not! Aren’t you??’

Chuckling hard, he left room after 10 seconds. What should I do with him?”

Rap Monster; “There’s something he always says whenever we make a comeback or wrap up our promotion. He says that we got to make a comeback or successfully complete the promotion, thanks to the love shown by our fans.”

Suga; “I’m not good at expressing how I feel with words. But Jimin and J-Hope are good at expressing themselves. I envy them for that.”

Hobi’s ideal type is a girl who loves him, is good at cooking, and thinks a lot

Summary; he’s literally sunshine and he has one of the biggest hearts ever. Dancing machine Hobi is such a lil bean and he deserves the world, honestly 😊 alSO DESERVES MORE LINES!!

Kay so now we have the intellectual, the very philosophic Kim Namjoon {Namjoon, Joonie, Joonbug, Moni, Rap Monster, Rap Mon, Namjoonie, Leader Mon, God of Destruction, The Destroyer}. Smol dorky bean with dimples and a v v high IQ of 148. Also, literally a Rap God whose life is about philosophy, BTS, and music.

Some facts;

He was born in Ilsan, Gyeonggi-d, South Korea

He got a mamma, pappa, and lil sis

He went to Apgujeong High School

Rap Monster studied in New Zealand and lived/stayed there for 6 months. :O  

He’s currently enrolled to Global Cyber University

Pre-debut he had already been performing as an underground rapper, with several tracks released informally, including a collaboration with Zico (Block B)

He’s really smart with an IQ of 148. He was previously ranked in the top 1% of the nation in his high school exams (so fuckin smart m8)

He speaks English fluently (he does so well omg ;-; )

Rap Monster’s TOEIC (The Test of English for International Communication) score was 900.

There was a rumour among the Korean fans that at the age of 15, Namjoon had a heart surgery with a 30% chance of living (but that’s probs legit just a rumour)

Hobbies include surfing the web

He’s a great supporter of Gay/Lesbian’s rights 😊 😊

He has a younger sister the same age as Jungkook but when asked if he would introduce her to him, he said N.O (ehehe)

His image before debut was a neat and quiet student

He started to write lyrics since he was in school, on his textbook

Rap Monster has composed/produced 100+ songs (y’all needa check out his solo raps n mixtape boisss)

Clothes matter to him (yo I live for his daily kim posts)

Fave food = Kalguksu (Korean knife noodles)

Fave colour = black

Fave number = 1

Fave items = clothes, computer, books

Despite Moni’s rough and tough image, he is v playful n relaxed

He likes clear weather

If he were a girl he said he would date J-Hope because he’s like the mother at the dorm

Role models; Kanye West & A$AP Rocky

Rap Monster wrote the lyrics of ‘No More Dream’ because he had no dreams when he was in school ☹

He, along with Jung Hunchul (ex member of Bangtan) wrote a Brave Brother/YG diss track called ‘Hook’ (check it out here man)

He wants to be a rich Rapper in 10 years

He has a dog, whose name is RAP MON

He would like to make a sub-unit with Jungkook

He was the first member to join BTS

He likes to imitate his members

Rap Mon said that he and GOT7 Jackson are good friends. He said Jackson is very handsome and really good at dancing

 His ideal date; “It’s like the ordinary college student date. We can see a movie together, eat together, walk together. I want to have love like that. It’s because I can’t at all (laughs)”

Some of his popular quotes are; “Jimin, you got no jams” and “Team work makes the dream work”

Other members about Rap Monster;

Suga; “On the stage, Rap Mon wears sunglasses and has a powerful image but actually he likes cute things. He keeps the ‘Pocket Monster Ball’ on his bed that he received at a fansign”

Jin; “The Baby Dinosaur Dolly. He shakes his tail and crushes things

Jimin;” In the fact, he gets hurt easily”

Rap Mon’s ideal type; “Sexy, even to a brain. Someone that is thoughtful and confident”

Summary; lil dimpled smol bean Moni is all about his music and his groups and fans. He’s chilled and relaxed but has a powerful image on stage. Literally the god of destruction and could probs just look at something and it’d break (that’s what happens to me anyways)

oKAY so next up is lil squishy sinful bean Park Jimin {Jimin, Chim, Chim chim, Chiminie, Mini, Jiminie, Mochi, Sexy Mochi, Jiminie Pabo, Christian Chim Chim, Kumquat Mochi, Mang Gae Ddeok. Oh, and I regularly call him Chim Cham/Chim Chams}. Such a smol chubby lookin bean but then he turns into the personification of sin itself on stage and I literally cannot deal with it man…kills me

Some facts;

Born in Busan, South Korea

He has a pappa, mamma, and lil bro

He attended/attends Busan High School of Arts; Global Cyber University

Pre-debut Jimin entered Busan High School of Arts as the top student in modern dance, but later transferred to Korea Arts High School with V

Fave colours = blue & black

Fave number = 3

Fave foods = pork, duck, chicken, fruit, kimchi jjigae

Chim Chams used to view himself as “fat” and he was self-conscious of his looks and cheeks (which were adORABLE)

When he viewed himself as “fat” (he doesn’t anymore)…(I hope) he went into depression and starved himself T_T

He prefers sunny and cool weather

Is known for his impressive abs (*dies*)

He likes to jokingly hit the other members as a way of showing his affection for them

If music is playing he will start to dance no matter where he is 😊

When the weather is sunny and cool, Jimin likes wearing earphones while listening to music that gives a good feeling.

Jimin became interested in a singing career after watching a Rain performance

Once he wrote some lyrics and gave them to Suga. Suga said; “You called these lyrics?!” (the lyrics sounded like a children song). Suga asked him to redo the lyrics, but in the end, he still couldn’t use Jimin’s lyrics ☹

Jimin’s role models are; Rain, Taeyang (Bigbang) and Chris Brown

He is most confident in his eyes

He enjoys reading comic books. He said that comic books influenced him a lot

Jimin usually solves his problems himself. If he can’t solve it, he will share it with V and ask for his advice

Jungkook is always teasing Jimin about his height

In the dorm, Jimin in charge of the kitchen (chef chim doe??? 😊 )

Things he wants to steal from other members are; Rap Monster’s height, V’s talent and gaze, J-Hope’s cleanliness, Suga’s diverse knowledge

Jimin’s ideal date; “Sitting on the bench, drinking together… I would like to have a countryside date. We would also walk holding hands…. (Laughs)”

If he’d get a day off, Jimin jokingly said he wants to go on a date with Jungkook while holding hands together. And when Jungkook talked about his wishes, Jimin shouted; “Live happily together with me!” (fucKIN SHIP)

He felt a bit hurt when Jungkook ranked him the last in terms of looks. Jimin thinks the 1st is Jin while the 7th is Suga. (He was going to rank Rap Monster as the 7th but he changed his mind saying that recently Rap Monster got better-looking)

He has to use eyeliner while practicing the choreography, else he can’t seem to show strong expressions and he will get shy

Jimin appeared in GLAM’s MV Party (XXO). GLAM disbanded, they were under BigHit.

Jin chose Jimin as the member who has changed the most since debut😊

Other members about Jimin;

Jin; “Comes at you really cutely. It’s like being attacked by a puppy. Can’t refuse requests because he’s too nice.”

Rap Monster; “Basically kind and gentle. Is very considerate. Isn’t as timid as you would think. Likes clothes and style (same with me). But even though he responds well, there are many times where he doesn’t actually do it. Is quite stubborn. Is the effort-type.”

Suga; “Follows the hyungs’ words well, isn’t the personality where he’ll receive dislike somewhere, puts in effort to live his hardest”.

J-Hope; “Is kind, listens to his hyungs well, has a lot of greed, and has a personality where he makes sure to do his part, and he has a really good personality where he likes me the most and his faith towards me is very strong~~ ♥♥♥♥”

Jeongguk; “He’s the effort-type along with being a triple blood-type A, timid, shameless, and hates losing.”

V; “Cute. Only the amount of him losing his temper is excessive, he’s kind and a friend that’s trustworthy. I talk to him the most, and if I have any worries, he’s the friend that I tell it first to”

His ideal type is a nice and cute girl who is smaller than him

Summary; uuggggh he’s just so fuckin cute and he deserves all the love in the world. He loves the others so much and cares for them loads. He’s a squishy bean in the streets and a sinful bean on stage. Everybody needs a lil chim in their life 😊

Up next is the animal loving, sweetheart, 4d alien Kim Taehyung {Taehyung, Tae, Tae Tae, Taehyungie, 4D alien, Blank Tae, 4D, Alien, CGV, Gucci Boy, Gucci Prince, V} dis bean is crazy and extra as hECK. He’s also super adorable and his laugh is probably the best thing ever omfg.

Some facts;

He was born in Daegu, South Korea.

He has a mamma, pappa, and lil bro

He attends/attended Korea Art School; Global Cyber University

Tae Tae can speak Japanese fluently :O

Fave colours = black, green, and white

Fave number = 10

V’s favourite items are = his computer, big dolls, clothes, shoes, accessories, and anything unique (like himself lol)

It is said that when his teaser image was released 5 personal fan clubs were created 😊

He has been in the group for a while, but fans didn‘t know or hear of him until the time around his debut

He likes anything that is unique

His favourite artist is Eric Bannet

His role model is his dad. He wants to be a dad like his dad, someone who takes care of his children, listen to everything they say and encourage & advise them in their future plans (so fuckin cuuuute)

He has the same hobbies with Jin

When V has a problem, he will share it with Jimin and Jin. But he thinks it’s easier to talk to Jimin since they have the same age

Fans said V looks like Baekhyun (EXO) and Daehyun (B.A.P.). He said Baekhyun is his mother and Daehyun is his father. (it’s true tho)

V is a mood maker in BTS, along with Suga (daegu princessss)

V’s motto; “I just came up with it but let’s life coolly to the maximum. Since life happens only once, waking up at ease in the morning and working doing your best”

According to Yahoo Taiwan poll, V is the most popular BTS member in Taiwan

In the dorm V is in charge of the washing machine

When V celebrated his Birthday (131230 at MBC Gayo Daejun), he felt very happy because he able to share birthday with K.Will. K.Will’s waiting room was beside BTS’s room. So, K.Will came to him and said, “Hey, is it your Birthday today? It’s mine too! Let’s blow the candle together.”

V likes amusement parks. He especially likes the gyro drop, gyro swing and roller coasters (boi we can go together because same)

V can climb a tree but he can’t get back down (such a dork omg 😊 )

V comes from a poor family; “I came from a poor family and I never thought I would become famous.” He grew up under a family of farmers and often takes pictures of the farm they own

He revealed in an interview with ‘The Star,’ “[Being an idol is] a lucky chance that will only come once in a lifetime. If I wasn’t in BTS I would probably be a farmer. I’d be pulling out weeds from a farm with my grandmother.” (farmer tae doe can you imagine… :O )

V acted in the Korean drama “Hwarang” (2017-2017) (if you haven’t already watched it, y’all needa do so)

V sang the OST of “Hwarang” alongside Jin, which is Part 2 – “It’s Definitely You”.

If he’d get a day off, V wants to see his parents (he’s literally so cute tho omg)

V said the 3 requirements for his happiness are; family, health and honour.

V’s ideal date; “Amusement park. But nearby park is also good. I think that it’ll be nice if holding hands. My ideal is cute dating.”

Other members about V

Rap Mon about V’s cooking; “Honestly, we’d love try it. But V’s cooking is too great, we might end up crying. That’s why up till now we haven’t tried it. If V can roll the seaweed a little better, we will definitely give it a try.”

Jimin about V’s cooking, “We’ll try V’s cooking sooner or later. I just hope, V will stop stealing the food when I’m cooking.”

Jin ranked V as the noisiest member; “First, there’s V. I’m not kidding. He’ll be sitting in the dorms, then suddenly he’ll run around going ‘HO! HO! HO!’. He’s really weird. He’s like a different species. Do you know what he does alone at our house? ‘Jimin, I love you!! Oppa, I can’t! Jimin, I love you!! (Imitate V’s alone conversation). Seriously...”

Jin; “Although he seems weird, I think it’s a concept. He asks before he does something, he’s very detailed.”

Jungkook; “Although he’s a hyung, I have no answer to describe his personality.”

Suga; “Compared to his age he’s immature and isn’t able to become serious. It seems he doesn’t care what others think.”

Jimin; “He has a cheerful personality and really doesn’t notice his surroundings. He likes playing around. He’s innocent.”

His ideal type is someone who takes care of him and love only him and who has a lot of aegyo

Summary; le 4D extra alien who is suuuuuuch a family man which is so adorable is such a soft bean I can’t deal oh god. He’s v v sinful on stage tho so watch out…he’ll pull you in with his cute charms and then BAM hipthrust muthafucka

Okie dokie! Last but not least it’s time for the lil bun bun Maknae Jeon Jungkook {Jungkook, Kook, Kookie, Jungkookie, Bun, Bun Bun, Golden Maknae, Triple Threat, Muscle Pig, Jeon Cena, Ironman, Bunny, Seagull, Justin Seagull, Living Meme, Meme Child, Baby, Jungshook, Nochu

Some facts;

Born in Busan, South Korea

He has a pappa, mamma, and hyung

He went to Seoul School of Performing Arts and graduated in February 2017

He attended Baek Yang Middle School

He has an older brother named Jeon Jung Hyun

Fave foods = anything with flour (pizza, bread etc)

Fave colours = red, black, and white

He loves playing games, drawing, and soccer (football)

He has a weird habit where he sniffles a lot because of his rhinitis. He also wriggles his fingers a lot

His shoe size (U.S. conversion) is 7.5

Would date Jin if he were a girl

He likes the number 1

Said to be a very skilled cook

He likes shoes and makeup

He dislikes tasteless things, bugs, getting hurt, studying

He speaks Korean, Japanese and English (basic)

In 7th grade Jungkook learned B-boying in a club with some friends and hyungs

He knows Taekwondo (he has a black belt)

Before joining the group, he was a handball player

His favourite weather is a sunny weather with a cool breeze

In 10 years Jungkook wants to be the owner of a duck meat restaurant or a tattooist (fuCKIN TATTOOIST JUNGKOOK THOOOO

In middle school, he went to Superstar K auditions but failed to pass the elimination round

On the way back home, he received offers from eight different entertainment agencies

After randomly seeing and falling in love with future member Rap Monster’s rap, he decided to join Big Hit Entertainment (so cute)

Jungkook’s role model is G-Dragon (BigBang).

His dream, when he was younger, was to become a badminton player.

In the 1st year of High School he listened to G-Dragon’s songs and changed his dream to becoming a singer.

His motto is; “Living without passion is like being dead”.

Jungkook wants to go on trip with his lover someday.

He loves reading comic books.

Jimin says that Jungkook smiles when he swears.

About school subjects, Jungkook dislike everything except Physical Education, Art, and Music Class.

He doesn’t like bugs, but he likes cool bugs like (stag) beetles. He used to have a stage beetle when he was younger, but he didn’t take care of it well, so it died.

He said he usually doesn’t exercise a lot but started working out after seeing Taeyang and Jay Park.

The member who’s most similar to him; “V Hyung. He’s random, our comedic cords match well, and I think our personalities are similar.” (Profile written by Jungkook)

He is friends with GOT7’s Bambam & Yugyeom, Seventeen’s DK, Mingyu & The8, and NCT’s Jaehyun (a.k.a. ’97 line).

Jungkook, GOT7’s Bambam & Yugyeom, Seventeen’s The8, Mingyu, DK, and NCT’s Jaehyun (the ’97 liners) are in a group chat. (Jungkook and Bambam mentioned the ’97 liner squad in their ‘thanks to’ in their recent albums)

Jungkook’s ideal date; “Walking along the beach in the night.”

Things that he wants to steal from other members are; Rap Monster’s knowledge, Suga’s diverse knowledge, J-Hope’s positive mind, Jimin’s persistence and his effort, V’s natural talent and Jin’s wide shoulders.

Other members about Jungkook;

Suga; “Jungkook has a good memory so he can imitate us well. And I remember that when Jungkook first came, he was shorter than me. Seeing him grow taller makes me feel like I’ve raised him.”

Jimin; “I’m 2 years older than him but he keeps making fun of me for my height.”

Jin; “He’s quite bad at refusing requests.”

Rap Monster; “Individualistic, doesn’t share clothes. Washes his clothes separately. A slight timid-ness that’s like a maknae. Although he wants to seem manly, he’s actually a cutie. Although his passion overflows, it doesn’t go on long. Puberty, rebellious, but it seems cute.”

J-Hope; “He’s the maknae who talks backs a lot and doesn’t listen. Although his personality is quite kind… I also have no answer for his personality”

V; “Truthfully, he’s the same as me. I have no answer.”

Suga; “Because he’s the youngest, he’s still immature. However, he clearly shows what he likes and what he dislikes.”

Jimin; “He’s kind, innocent, and is bad at expressing his feelings. That’s why he’s cute. Jeonggukkie’s mine.”

Suga about Jungkook entering High School; “Jeongguk was the most handsome one there.”

V about Jungkook entering High School; “It’s not that the other students were ugly, but JK was most noticeable because he’s tall.”

Ideal type; someone who’s at least 168cm but smaller than him, is a good wife, good at cooking, smart, has pretty legs, and is nice. Also, a girl who likes him and is good at singing.

Summary; he’s a smol, innocent bun who is also a coMPLETE MEME CHILD HOLY FUCK NUGGETS. Hella tall bean with killer thighs and a v v disrespectful attitude on stage…I cri ever-tim ;-; 

OKAY SO THAT’S BTS HAVE FUN WITH THAT INFORMATION GO NUTS, HAVE LE FEELS, BECOME TRASH. LIKE I SAID IN MY NOTES THIS POST JUST SHOWS HOW MUCH OF A PIECE OF TRASH I AM OH GODS... 

{Request anything you want guys}

[arzani-fuchsia]

74. “I came home to a Nerf gun on the front porch and a note that says ‘Here is your weapon. I have one too. Loser cooks dinner. Good luck. xo’” for ShanksBenn

I wrote that Shanks is a sap, but the only sap here is me. So excuse all the fluffness. I hope I have transferred a little humor, too. It’s part of my “music is connecting them” verse and the end refers to the first part of the series, suits me right.

“I camehome to a Nerf gun on the front porch and a note that says ‘Here is yourweapon. I have one too. Loser cooks dinner. Good luck. xo’,” Benn recounted histale, his voice tinted with amusement, while he watched their friends sitaround him, listening intently. He didn’t come far, however, because he wasinterrupted by Shanks.

“I actuallydid write down more than one xo.”

A fewchuckles followed Shanks’ statement and Benn rolled his eyes, but the fondexpression on his face didn’t waver. Shifting slightly on his stool, he regardedtheir little group. Yasopp held Banchina with one arm, while the woman leanedher head against his shoulder. Her strands struck out against his white shirt.Roo sat next to Yasopp, a plate of chocolate chip cookies in front of him. Theywere for all of them to eat, but effectively he ate most. Just now he reachedfor another, nibbling at the deliciousness in a way that told he wasn’t hungrybut ate to distract his hands. Robin, in front of Benn on the other side of thetable, held a glass of wine between her slender fingers. Nothing could lookmore graceful than her swirling the white liquor.

Makino, whohad to tend to her bar, was hovering over Roo’s shoulder, ready to leave themoment one of her customers needed her, but intent to hear as much of the storyshe could. Somewhere in the backroom Luffy, the boy Makino took care of, andUsopp, Yasopp and Banchina’s son, where sleeping peacefully.

“He didwrite down more,” Benn admitted, “But I wasn’t inclined to count them.”

Another fewchuckles rung above the distant noise of the bar, and Benn felt Shanks’ hand squeezehis. He squeezed back and smiled. With his free hand, he reached for his beer,took a sip to wet his lips and continued.

“I knewthere wasn’t much I could do, so I took the Nerf gun and perched around thehouse. I had a feeling Shanks would be in the back garden,” Benn said andShanks chimed in.

“Which Iwas.”

“Which youwere,” Benn agreed, grinning. The pause he took had the desired effect, beforehe went on. “I tried my best, I assure you, but our red-headed catastrophe” – “Hey”– “is better with a Nerf gun than either of you can imagine.”

Shanksnodded, smirking triumphantly. Benn nudged him with his shoulder.

“So, afterwe were both incredibly soaked, but me just a tad more,” – “I wish he had beenwearing white.” – “Shanks was wearingwhite, by the way. However, I made dinner. I wouldn’t let Shanks into thekitchen for too long anyway.”

“My cookinghas become better,” Shanks interrupted again, pouting visibly. It made him lookyounger than he was, the brown eyes feigned hurt and Benn couldn’t stop himselffrom leaning towards him, to press a kiss on the corner of his mouth. A fainttaste of salt spread on the tip of Benn’s tongue and he savored the taste.

“The onlyone truly cooking here is me,” Roo stated matter of fact, between one bite and anotherand the whole table exploded in laughter. Benn had to admit their friend had apoint. As their record label had grown bigger, and the employees had becomemore, Shanks and Benn had realized they needed to do something about theirdaily lunch routine. Everyone, including themselves, had been sick of anotherordered pizza, too oily Chinese food or bad sushi. When the restaurant next totheir office building had closed (for obvious reasons. None of them had eatenthere more than once), they had bought it. And talked Roo into becoming thehead chef. So now, Shanks and Benn didn’t only own a successful record label,but a very successful restaurant, too.

“We’re allvery grateful, Roo,” Banchina said, her soft voice encouraging in a way Bennwould always admire her for. Smiling at his friend, he emphasized Banchina’swords with it. When everyone had calmed down again, Benn continued.

“I was inthe kitchen, back in dry clothes by the way, preparing dinner while Shanks setthe table. Which should have told me something was odd, honestly, but I didn’tpay it too much mind,” Benn said and this time it was Shanks poking him in theribs. He groaned playfully, never letting go of Shanks’ hand.

“You seehow he pays attention to me? My love’s repaid so badly.” Throwing his free handin the hair, Shanks made the situation more dramatic than it was. Yet, Benncouldn’t be annoyed by it. Not today. Probably never as often as he should.

“I walkedout with a plate full of bruschetta in hand, when I saw the box. I nearlydropped it.”

Benn couldhear how his words had come out a little shaky, and this time when Shankssqueezed his hand it steadied him. Yet, he knew a faint red must taint hischeeks. He wasn’t exactly known for clumsiness.

“I put thebruschetta on the table and…,” Benn tried to continue, but somehow he had losthis grip on the story. Thankfully Shanks knew how to continue.

“He stoodin the room, utterly confused,” Shanks mused, eyes glinting fondly in the dimlight, “So I guided him to sit, while I reached for the box. I will only saythis once, so listen closely. I kneeled! I fucking kneeled and asked Benn tomarry me and he said yes. And now I’ve said, ‘I kneeled’ twice, thrice nowactually. God I’m a sap. But you all know I’m a sap, and it was worth it.”

Yasopplaughed quietly next to Shanks, shaking his head. “We all know you’re ahopeless sappy romantic, capt’n. You nearly tackled me to the ground when Iasked you to be my best man.” He ruffled Shanks’ hair. “Congratulations, Boss.Benn!”

“Yeah, congratulations,”everyone said in a tumble, as they had earlier in the office, after spottingthe ring on both Shanks’ and his hand. If Benn’s heart didn’t quell over withlove already, it would do so now.

“Thank you,”Shanks grinned, and the grin only grew a little bit wider, “You know the bestof it? Another round of shopping suits!”

Everybodylaughed wholeheartedly, Yasopp even whistled, while Benn remembered the timethey had tried to find Shanks a suit for Yasopp and Banchina’s wedding. Theirfriends knew of the story, and how it had led to Benn and Shanks admittingtheir feelings for each other. He didn’t regret it one second. The ringsclinking together, as he squeezed Shanks’ hand for the hundreds of time thisday, proved it.

“Actually,the best is, that this time we don’t have to go through the sales, to find one,”Benn mused. He would make sure Shanks didn’t have to worry a second aboutprices, or money. They had made it so. Had finally made it here.

[justkpopstuffinmyhead]

Tao - Backstage work ♥

Member:  Former Exo Member Tao

Pairing: Soloist!Tao & Employee!You

Genre: Fluff

Words: 1,722

Summary: The Chinese soloist Z.Tao holds his first international concert after leaving the band and after applying for the job you get the chance to help prepare the concert. What you don’t notice is that Tao seems to like you a bit more than just as an employee.

When you read that they need people to help organize the concert in London for Chinese singer „Z.Tao“you immediately applied, thinking that they would never choose you. You had university vacation and could definitely use the money for that job as well as the experience. When you received a letter telling you that you got the job you were more than happy. Not only for the already mentioned reasons but also because Z.Tao is your favourite singer. Now being able to help him organize this concert and getting the chance to maybe talk to him was like a dream to you. Tao would arrive on 12. August and the concert is on 28th. At first you were confused about the long preparation but turns out that Tao wants everything to be perfect for his first concert outside of Asia. Not that you would complain. Spending a little more than two weeks with Tao sounded like heaven to you.

Work started on 13th August at 9 am. Everyone was buzzing with energy and happy and when Tao arrived at 11 am everything came to a halt. He introduced himself personally to everyone and thanked each person for helping him with this concert. When he arrived at your section he was surprised to see a person younger than him working here. You were by far the youngest helper. “Hello I'm Huang Zitao. Please call me Tao.” he said, stretching out his hand. You were surprised that he didn't bow and smiled shyly when you took his hand. “I'm Y/N. It's nice to meet you.” you whispered. He was really handsome. You'd say even more handsome than on pictures. He smiled and continued to introduce himself.

 You didn't see how his gaze returned to you a few times and how he blushed when you took his hand.

In your opinion you weren't pretty. You were. . ordinary. Nothing special. Everyone continued working and when you finally had your break you went out shopping to get a birthday present for a friend. You found this absolutely adorable pink unicorn and bought it along with a few other things that she would like and returned to the stadium. It was relatively small and a bit outside of the city. The tickets would be sold out immediately. Fortunately you were told to take care of Tao's changing room during the concert so you would be able to watch everything backstage. Currently the changing room was occupied by many suitcases for his different costumes and the stuff of a few other co-workers. You put the unicorn onto a couch and started to unpack Tao's costumes, hanging them neatly onto the hangers.

 You didn't hear the door open behind you and you didn't see how he looked at you like you were the most beautiful person he's ever seen. You didn't see how he blushed slightly and didn't hear how his heart started beating faster and faster.

 He quickly looked for something to distract him and saw the pink unicorn. “Ohh Who are you ?” That's when you finally noticed that Tao was in the room. He was now crouching in front of the plushy and poked it. “Do you like it?” You asked, your voice shaking out of nervousness. He nodded eagerly and pressed it close to his chest. “If you want you can keep it. I'll just get a new one.” You offered and he looked at you in surprise. “Really?” You nodded and he smiled at you like a happy child. “Thank you!” He bowed and you shook your head. “It's fine.” You continued your work.

 You didn't see how he blushed when you offered that he could keep the plushy. You didn't hear him talk to your boss about who you were and where you were from.

 You just continued working and when it was time to go home you packed your stuff and started to walk out of his changing room where you walked into someone. “I'm so sorry!” You said, bowing a little. When you started getting into Asian music and watching their interviews you somehow adapted this habit. Your friends thought you were weird but you just giggled at their comments.  When you looked up you were met by a pair of beautiful eyes. “It's fine. ” He said. Tao was smiling at you, holding the plushy in his arms. “I should have paid more attention” you stuttered and he just shook his head. “It's fine. Have a nice evening. . Y/N. Right?” You nodded and he smiled and waved . Then he left you alone to calm yourself down and return to your apartment.

You didn't know that he waited for you to leave to “accidentally” walk into you, just to get a chance to talk to you. Or how he refused to put the plushy out of his sight, fearing that it would get lost.

This is how the following weeks continued. You working and him always being somewhere around you. When you were in his changing room he suddenly had to change his costume. When you ate lunch in the cafeteria he always sat close to you, watching you listening to music while eating, wondering what kind of music you liked.

He didn't understand the strange pull towards you. Why his heart was beating like crazy whenever you were close or why he couldn't just go to talk to you. The closer the concert came the sadder he got. After the concert he would just leave and go back to Asia. Probably never seeing you again.

The evening of the concert was there faster than you expected it to be. The concert would start in just a few minutes and Tao was in his changing room, nervously bouncing up and down. You were watching him, smiling because of his nervousness. “Are you going to watch the concert?” He asked, looking at you. “Of course!” You smiled. “And I promise you to sing along in terrible Chinese as much as I can. Because I still have to prepare your next costume and help you.” You somehow got promoted by your boss. Now you were going to help Tao to put on his costumes between the stages. He looks at you in confusion “Sing along? You know my music?” He asked. “Yeah. I started listening to.” you hesitated. Would he be okay with you talking about his old group? “I started listening to Exo during the Wolf-Era. To be honest I preferred Exo-M.” You blushed. “And when you left I was really sad. You were one of my favourite members. I was hoping that you would come back as a solo singer. And then T.A.O. came out.” You smiled and when he wanted to answer he was interrupted by the sign that told him to get on stage. He immediately left the room to go outside and start the concert. You were following him, watching everything from backstage.

You didn't know how proud he was when you said that he had been one of your favourite members. You didn't see the blush that was creeping up his neck. You didn't know that he was now even more encouraged to make this concert perfect because he knew you were watching.

 In between the stages, when you helped him changing the two of you would laugh and talk a little. He was loaded with energy and smiling the entire time. When he was talking to the fans and saying goodbye after his last stage you already packed your bag. When he entered the room he immediately came over to you and hugged you to your surprise. “Thank you for your help!” He said and let go of you. You giggled and hugged him back. Then he got his make-up removed and ate some gummy-bears. You stomach growled and you involuntarily whimpered. You hadn't eaten all day because you were so nervous. “You want some?” He looked at you and that's when you noticed the small pink unicorn on his lap. “That would be great!” You said and told you to come over and gave you a few of them. “Thank you” You said and started eating them. They might not be the healthiest meal but still better than nothing.

You didn't notice that he was watching you in the mirror and that his heart was hurting whenever he remembered that today would be his last day with you. You didn't see his hands shaking when he handed you the unicorn plushy back, smiling at you. “Here.” He said. “But It's a present. You can keep it.” You said and he felt himself panic for a few seconds, fearing that his plan would just be ruined like this.”No . You take it as a. . .souvenir. For the last two weeks. I signed it too!” He said, showing you the place. You took the plushy out of his hands and watched him relax. You didn't notice what he wrote onto the plushy.

When it was time to say goodbye he hugged you closely and looked after you until you were out of sight, hoping that his plan would work. That you would read what he wrote onto the plushy.

You arrived at home, completely exhausted and tired. You placed the plushy onto your bed and took a shower, relaxing your tense muscles. You put your hair into French braids and ordered Chinese takeout. While waiting for you food you took the plushy and looked at the signature.

 Y/N. Those two weeks with you were amazing. I hope we'll see each other again really soon. Z.Tao.

 And that's when you saw random numbers scribbled onto the washing instructions. You quickly figured out that this had to be a phone number. You quickly added it to your phone and your “WeChat” app immediately told you that you had a new contact in your list. Your fingers were shaking when you opened the new chat. You didn't know what to write. Or what to do in general. So you just wrote the following three letters.

 You:Tao?

 You didn't expect an immediate answer so you put your phone away and ate your Chinese food as soon as it arrived. When you took your phone you saw that he answered almost immediately.

 Him:I was hoping you would find my number.

[strongenoughfoundation-blog]

Chinese Food and Confessions (Lin-Manuel x Reader)

Summary: You’ve been Lin’s friend for years and after a bottle of wine and some pressing questions you learn he’s in love with someone.

Word Count:1,904

Warnings: I’m getting increasingly more cliche so that’s a good one to start with. Drinking. Swearing.

A/N: Did anybody order a lame “you said you were in love and I’m too dense to realize you meant with me so I’ve been moping all week” fic? No? Well here, have this one on the house. Someone feel free to stop me at any time. You’re gonna keep getting these halfhearted ideas until I finish battling this one fic I’m working on. It’s angst. I’m bad at writing angst. I have a blurb I’ll post later to make up for how lame this one turned out though. ________________________________

“C’mon, you have to tell me something! There has to be something I don’t know about you.” you pushed, swinging your legs up onto Lin’s lap. His hand wrapped around your calf, adjusting your placement. The wine in your glass sloshed around but managed to stay where it was - your couch eternally grateful for that.

“I think you know just about everything about me at this point. This game seems kind of moot.” Lin chuckled at you.

“Just about. But not everything.” you countered and he paused to think of something that might be enough to satisfy your sudden pressing need to know every deep, dark secret he had - which wasn’t many. His hand absentmindedly traced patterns on your leg as the thought.

“Alright, I have something but there’s conditions if I tell you.” Lin posed and you frowned.

“What kind of conditions?” you asked carefully.

“I’ll tell you my deepest, darkest secret and you can’t ask for any more information than what I volunteer.” Lin stipulated and you groaned.

“You know whatever it is I’m gonna wanna ask something!” you protested.

“Those are the terms.” Lin shrugged and you groaned again. He watched in amusement as you began your internal debate.

“Fine, but this better be good.” you huffed.

“I’m in love.” Lin admitted and your jaw went slack. “I have been for years.”

You opened your mouth to speak and closed it about a dozen times as you processed this information. About a hundred questions became immediately pressing, one above most.

“Who?” you couldn’t help but blurt out.

“You look like you’re malfunctioning.” Lin laughed. “I told you no questions.”

“That’s unfair. That’s unreasonable. That’s unjust.” you cried.

“Do you have any more synonyms or have you run out at three?” Lin teased, clearly having fun with all of this. You, however, were not. You were absolutely reeling. 

Was it you? What if it was you? Is that something you wanted? You decided fairly quickly that the answer was a definitive ‘yes’. What if it wasn’t you though? Could you live with the notion that Lin, your Lin, was in love with another girl? Could you live in peaceful coexistence with a girl who had somehow captured Lin? More importantly, could you meet this girl without immediately asking her how she did it. What had you done wrong that she had done right?

“I can’t believe you won’t let me ask questions.” you pouted.

“Unkind? Thoughtless, maybe? Prejudice just doesn’t fit.” Lin listed off a few more choice synonyms for you. “You really did take all the good ones right off the bat. That’s probably why you kick my ass at word games.”

“You’re really not gonna give me any more information other than ‘I’m in love and have been for years’?” you asked incredulously, drawing Lin’s attention back to the situation at hand. He looked back at your questioning eyes with an even expression as he seemed to debate what more he could tell you.

“One question. It can’t be ‘who’ or any other identifying question.” Lin finally granted. You wracked your brain for the one question you would want to know above all others. 

“What’s she like?” you finally settled on and Lin’s eyes seemed to soften. You chalked it up as nothing more than an involuntary response to the thought of this girl. 

“She’s more than younger me could’ve ever dreamed up. She’s so intelligent, sometimes when she speaks it just blows my mind that she’s coming up with these things. Her ideas and her thoughts are incredible and hearing it in that voice.” Lin shook his head incredulously. He didn’t even have to pause to gather his thoughts as he continued. 

“That wit seeps into her humor. I mean I know some witty people but no one has one liners like her. And she can always tell when I need a good laugh.” Lin smiled fondly and you pretended not to feel sick. “She’s kind, generous as long as it’s not her food you’re asking for. She’s confident but she should be. When she walks into a room it lights up. She’s more than I can capture with words, but god, have I spent years trying.”

Your mind was ready to tune him out if he kept going but he seemed to know that. Or maybe he was just too caught up in the thought of her to remember he was there with you. It didn’t matter anyways, you were busy running through all the faces of the girls you’d ever seen in Lin’s life. Maybe it was the barista, god knows he spends enough time in the cafe. Maybe it was Karen Olivo, she was all of those things and more. Maybe it was Pippa, but she was engaged but that was less likely. 

“She sounds wonderful.” you resigned and Lin's eyes drifted back to you. The buzz from your wine had quickly worn off.

“She is. I’ve dreamed up hundreds of ways of telling her but not one of them seems right.”

“Sometimes a sincere conversation is better than any romantic gesture.” you advised, ready for the conversation to be over. He nodded thoughtfully.

You week was going less than great. Nothing monumental happened - you weren’t fired, you weren’t struck by lightning, at least not yet. But so many little things piled up that you were beginning to be overwhelmed. 

Monday someone had bumped into you on the street just as you got off the train, which tended to happen. But they had somehow managed to spill the entire contents of your cup all down the front of your favorite work blouse. There wasn’t a drop that landed anywhere other than the white material you were wearing. You might’ve been more impressed by the sheer luck of it if you hadn’t spent the entire day with a setting stain and smelling like a latte.

Tuesday ran long, you had spent the entire day bouncing from meeting to meeting with no breaks in between. You were starving and exhausted and wanted nothing more than to sit in silence for a few hours - or days. You somehow had managed to pick the train car with the spontaneous mariachi band, and to make matters worse the train broke down mere stops from your home. By the time they had gotten the train up and running you had a pulsing headache from the band who saw the delay as their time to shine.

Wednesday was nearly okay until your boss pulled you into his office for an emergency meeting. That proposal you thought you had til the end of next month to finish? He needed it on his desk by tomorrow morning. 

Now it was Thursday and you were running on little to no sleep from the urgency of your work and the only person you wanted to call was in love with someone else. You had dialed his number countless times during the week before you cleared your screen and returned to your day. The last thing you needed was for Lin to tell you he had finally confessed to this girl and it was all thanks to your advice. With the way your week was going you were half expecting his wedding announcement in the mail. 

You collapsed onto your bed after one coffee spill, train delay free day. You were hungry but you wanted nothing more than to have one decent day this week and the only way to ensure that that day was today was if you immediately went to sleep. So, you changed into pajamas and got ready for bed. 

You were in the bathroom washing your face when you heard your phone ring and you couldn’t help but to let out a loud, frustrated huff. Of course someone needed to talk to you at this very moment. Maybe it was your boss to tell you that he’ll leave a box for you to pack your desk into tomorrow. Or maybe it was an ex-boyfriend that had a few more choice words to call you. You threw your towel onto the counter before stalking out of your bathroom and snagging your phone from the bed where you had left it.

“Yeah?” you answered annoyed, not bothering to check who might be calling.

“Hello to you too.” Lin chuckled and you ran your hand down your face as if you could physically wipe your annoyance away.

“I’m sorry, I’ve had a bad week.” 

“Come open the door. I have Chinese food.” Lin persuaded and you hung up as you trudged from your room to the front door. You slid the chain from its place in the lock and tugged the door open. You couldn’t even get a word out before Lin launched himself at you, pulling you into a tight embrace. You cuddled further into him and he rubbed your back soothingly. Then your stomach growled, ruining the moment. Lin laughed. “C’mon. I knew you hadn’t eaten.”

“How would you know that?” you mumbled, following him into your kitchen.

“I sensed it. Just like I sensed you were having a bad week on Tuesday but you never reached out.” Lin eyed you, piling containers onto the counter. He pulled down plates.

“I didn’t want to ruin your week too.” you gave a half-assed lie. It was partially true. Mainly, you didn’t want to hear how great his week might’ve been.

“You could never ruin anything for me.” Lin assured you, gesturing for you to dish yourself up.

“What about Summer of ‘69?” you recalled a memory from the beginning of your friendship, already feeling slightly better that he was even there.

“Okay, so you can ruin one thing for me.” Lin corrected and the laughter that bubbled from your chest, surprised you. “Do you want to tell me about it?” 

“Not really. Why don’t you tell me about your good week so I feel better?” you moved to dish yourself up food finally.

“Who said I had a good week?” Lin arched an eyebrow.

“Didn’t you?” 

“No, not really.” 

“Oh.” you said dumbly. “Why?”

“I thought you wanted to feel better.” 

“I just don’t want to think about how shitty my week has been.” you clarified.

“I was going to confess this week but I couldn’t because she ignored me all week.” Lin admitted and your heart clenched. Instead of replying you moved into the living room. He dished up his own plate before following after you. It had at least given you some time to form what you hoped to be less than bitter sentences. 

“She’s stupid.” you blurted. Sure, you were aiming for ‘less than bitter’ but you had always been a pretty bad shot.

“You don’t even know who it is.” Lin chuckled.

“If she stopped talking to you, it says it all.” you shrugged. Lin sighed, watching you eat. It was silent for a few moments before you looked up to meet his eyes.

“It’s you.” he confessed and you dropped your fork. It clattered loudly against the plate. You were quick to set it all down on the coffee table to avoid any more possible mishaps. 

“Are you sure?” 

“Did you really just ask that?” Lin laughed incredulously, setting his plate beside yours.

“I mean,” you struggled to figure out what you were trying to say. “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure. I’ve been sure since you spilled my own coffee on my notebook that day in the cafe.” Lin recalled fondly. “You gave me yours in an attempt to make up for it. It, much like you, was too sweet for me.”

“Stop, don’t say anything else cute. I’m already having a hard enough time forming complete sentences.” you frowned and he laughed again. You wanted to spend the rest of your life hearing that sound and knowing you were the cause of it.

“Alright, I’ll just tell you in simple terms. I love you.”

“You love me.” you repeated and he nodded. “I love you too.” 

“That’s a relief.” Lin chuckled, pulling you towards him. “May I?”

“Please do.” you agreed easily and he pressed his lips to yours. 

Tagged: @overcaffeinated-and-underslept 

[betsynagler]

I Want a New Drug, or, The Wrong Four Years To Stop Sniffing Glue

I’ve always had a pretty positive relationship with alcohol. I know this isn’t true of many people, especially women, but in my own life, I really can’t think of any negative experiences that befell me because I drank too much. I always knew that my parents drank but not to excess. They were the kind of people that had a coffee table that opened up into a bar because everyone did in the 70s, but pretty much the only time anyone went in there was to get rum for cooking, or to bring out weird bottles of stuff that nobody really wanted to try but my father had picked up somewhere out of curiosity (like Goldwasser, which exists because…alchemy?). The first time I remember having alcohol was trying egg nog at one of my parents’ New Year’s Eve parties, all of which I have fond memories of as being fine times when lots of adults came over and were more friendly to me than usual (and no, not in an icky way). I had my first buzz at maybe 15, off white sangria at a Spanish restaurant in Newark, also with my parents, and it was very pleasant. I started drinking with friends not that long after, thanks to a liquor store, also in Newark, that sold to minors with fake IDs that every teenager in the suburbs knew about. As is typical with privileged suburban kids taking advantage of urban blight, nothing bad ever happened to any of us, except maybe for the time the friend buying the alcohol for a party got arrested for having too much alcohol in a vehicle, which apparently is against the law in New Jersey, probably to prevent exactly what we were doing — but even that just turned into a good story. There was also the time I had a small party at my house while my parents were away, and some things got broken — a bean bag chair (someone rode it down the stairs), the screen door (probably by the same someone, though I don’t know how). My brother even told my parents about the party, but again, it just turned into a funny story for them to tell my relatives at Thanksgiving, because they knew I was a responsible kid. The first time I got drunk at college resulted in my first hangover, thanks to the Everclear-laced “jungle juice” served at the Theta Xi fraternity, but thereafter, I was careful about tasty punches, and didn’t have another hangover for three years (until the quarter I spent at Oxford my junior year, and that was because England + Stanford students = mixing Kahlua with, like, everything). My first time throwing up from drinking wasn’t until my 30s. It took me until then to realize that three martinis was too many, but again, I learned my lesson, and have only been sick from drinking one time since — so that’s twice ever.

Things changed a bit some time in my 30s, when I started to have stomach issues. I actually wrote something about this years ago when I felt like I was doing better. It does that, my stomach, goes through periods of being better and worse. I started taking probiotics and that seemed to make things better, and I confirmed that by going off them and discovering that that seemed to make things worse, so now I definitely take probiotics. I also realized, through more totally unscientific experimentation (otherwise known as “eating and drinking”) that acid reflux was a factor. This is why I don’t drink coffee any more, and try to avoid spicy food (which is tough when your favorite cuisines are Indian, Thai, Chinese, Tibetan, Malaysian, Mexican — yes, basically anything spicy), and too much juice, and tomato sauce, and a handful of other things. Oh, and alcohol. However, whereas coffee gives me literally immediate acid reflux which turns into a stomach ache within half an hour, with alcohol, if I’ve been good in other ways, I can usually get away with it here and there without suffering major consequences. It’s only on the third night or so of drinking a couple of glasses of wine that it becomes apparent that something is very very bad and I need to stop. How can I tell? Oh, something about the combination of a burning sensation in my throat, tightness in my chest, the taste of acid in my mouth in the morning, the need to clear my throat incessantly, and a somewhat diminished appetite from just feeling kind of gross — all of which one can easily ignore if you like drinking as much as I do.

Because here’s the thing: thanks to a combination of genetics, common sense, and control issues, a fairly small amount of alcohol has always really been enough to make me happy. Having a couple of drinks removes my inhibitions and anxiety just enough that I feel like a more outgoing, more carefree version of myself, who can dance. I’m really, at heart, an awkward, shy person, something of an introvert, which means I’m basically much more comfortable in all social situations after one to two drinks. I can’t be sure that I’m truly wittier and more fun at that point, but I certainly feel like I am, and that makes a huge difference in helping me get to being that person. Going beyond that, however, to where I’m aware of the fact that I’m not in control — slurring my speech, walking in a wavy line, saying embarrassing things — I do not like, at all. I find it hard to relate to people who get black-out drunk, or who make serious mistakes that they wouldn’t make when they were sober, because I’m too self-conscious to be unaware that I’m losing my grip en route to getting there. Even in cases where I had sex with people after drinking that I later regretted, I had already made the decision to have the sex before I started drinking; it was just part of the follow-through. Sadly, that’s how I roll. I think too much, and while drinking makes me think less, even well-lubricated I am still way too aware of how people are reacting to me, and that is a major buzz kill. So I’d just rather not get to the point where I’m doing stuff that makes me feel stupid — walking funny, slurring my speech, laughing too loud — and that’s pretty much what happens at drink #3/4 in the course of one evening. Basically, something has to be really, really wrong for me to get to that place.

So of course, the only time in recent memory that I got that drunk was on election night. I had bourbon. I never drink bourbon. I had two — after a martini, and before a final glass of wine. That was over about five hours, mind you (although the bartender got more and more generous as he realized that we were all doomed), and still I stumbled home, already feeling ill, from the bar where I’d been watching the returns come in, got no sleep — that’s another thing that happens when I drink that I could easily ignore when I was younger: it really messes up my sleep — and had to go to work the next day at the unfairly early hour of 10 am. Luckily, the job was easy and my boss was sympathetic (we were all fucking freaking out if you recall), but that day and the several after that was reminder that I really, really, cannot do that any more.

But when the world is going to shit, it’s really, really hard to stop drinking. I get home from work after a long day, during which I do something which can be somewhat stressful for work and spend my downtime on set on Facebook or Twitter or reading the news, or talking to people about the news and Facebook and Twitter, and I want a drink. Just one glass of wine, that’s all. Nope, now, I can’t do that regularly, my stomach isn’t having it. If I’ve had a few glasses of wine over the weekend, there has to be a cooling down period of at least a few days, preferably longer, or else the irritation keeps building. As a result, I now have to prioritize my drinking. Like, when do I really need to have a drink and when do I not? “What’s that look like?” you may ask. Here’s the list I’ve come up with, in order of priority:

1) Networking events.

2) When I wake up in the middle of the night and can’t get back to sleep because I’m freaking out over the state of the world.

3) When it’s late and I can’t sleep because I’ve been spending too much time looking at Facebook/Twitter/NY Times app freaking out over the state of the world, and I have to get up the next day.

4) Family get-togethers.

5) Parties.

6) Tapas bars.

7) When it’s late and I’ve been spending too much time on Facebook/Twitter and I don’t have to get up the next day, but I’d still like to be functional in the morning.

8) Just for fun at a restaurant or bar.

Note that “Just for fun” has fallen to the bottom of the list. Now, you might ask, “Aren’t parties also ‘Just for fun,’?” and the answer would be “Yes, mostly,” but they rank higher on the scale of alcohol necessity because they generally involve socializing with larger groups of people, many of whom I may not have met before, barely know, and/or wouldn’t normally hang out with, so let’s just say that when it comes to parties, the amount of alcohol tends to be more directly proportional to the amount of fun had (introverts, back me up here, I know you know what I’m talking about). And tapas bars also rank above “Just for fun” even though, again, they are fun, because I went to Spain two years ago and seriously, what’s the point of a tapas bar without wine? Anyway, my point is: this list is sad. Living in NYC, nearly my entire social life in my 20s and 30s took place in bars, and now, my drinking priorities are first and foremost about not so much enjoying myself as about getting by.

I realized, given the current state of things — did I mention that I’m also on an email list called, “What The Fuck Just Happened Today”? — that I needed to find another way to take the edge off, and since I wasn't actually going to start sniffing glue, I decided to give marijuana a try as a replacement. My experiences with pot have also been fairly positive, but not nearly as frequent. I've probably been stoned a grand total of less than 20 times in my entire life, and this despite the fact that my relationship to weed also began at a youthful age. My parents smoked pot, but that was more of a deterrent than anything else: nothing reduces the cool quotient of drugs as a teenager like having your parents do them. Nevertheless, it would have been kind of hard to avoid at my high school, which had a reputation for stoners, and lots of people in my peer group seemed to have ready access to it. I had to try weed several times before I actually got high, though, perhaps since I never smoked cigarettes, so the whole breathing smoke into your lungs thing was kind of alien to me. My friend’s (possibly underage and who eventually came out of the closet. Yep: suburbia) boyfriend at the time had to make it his mission to get me stoned one night, using a gravity bong — basically one half of an emptied liter bottle, with a bowl made out of the cap enhanced with aluminum foil, half submerged in a bucket of water. When you light the bowl at the top, you lift the bottle up in the water, and the suction draws the smoke out and fills the plastic half-liter with it. Then you take the cap off, put your mouth over the top of the bottle, and push down on it as you breathe in, which forces a lot of pot smoke into your lungs. Who says physics can’t be fun? So that worked, and all of my friends who were there that night enjoyed watching me be stoned, which still didn't decrease the fun of it, because they were all stoned too. Ever since, I’ve generally had fun getting high, and in a variety of situations — hanging with friends, parties with new acquaintances, crew colleagues on shoots out of town. One of the nice things about having it be a more unusual occurrence than drinking for me is that the unique experiences are more distinct in my memory. The one time I remember having a bad time was when I took medical marijuana with an ex-boyfriend toward the end of our relationship. The two things I was sure of, even though I was high, were that 1) he wasn’t, and 2) our relationship was doomed — which it was, but that just wasn’t the evening I was looking for at the time.

So it was a complete surprise to me that when I decided to try marijuana again recently, I had what can only be described as a terrible trip. I used some medical marijuana chocolate in what I thought was the proper dosage of only a quarter of a square, though considering the way chocolate fragments unevenly, and that I ate all of the fragments, it was probably more. We were watching TV, so I didn’t notice it coming on until I got up to get a glass of water, and realized that time had stopped. I was fully prepared to go back to watching TV, but soon I discovered that that wasn’t working out at all. I couldn’t follow anything — even The Big Bang Theory was unfathomable — and on top of that, I kept worrying about the fact that I couldn’t follow The Big Bang Theory. Could Damon tell that I couldn’t keep up with the show? Was I suddenly stupid? Would I get to the end of the episode, not knowing what had happened…and then what? Damon wasn’t going to want to watch it again! Moreover, did this mean that I was now an idiot? Would I never be able to follow any TV show, ever? Eventually we gave up on that show and tried watching Clueless, thinking it would be easier to follow since I have probably seen it half a dozen times, but no. I still couldn’t follow the plot, which upset me because it was fucking Clueless, and yet despite that, I was inordinately caught up in it on an emotional level. People seemed to be so mean to each other, or poking fun at situations and people that were not funny. How could Cher and Dionne trick Mr. Hall and Ms. Geist for the sake of improving their grades, and then ruins things between Tai and Travis before they even get started?! This was clearly fucked up. What was wrong with me that I saw this was wrong but everyone else watching clearly thought it was funny? What was wrong with them? What the hell was wrong with the world?! And even while all of this was stressing me out, I couldn’t stop watching TV because I was afraid of what would happen if I got up. I was also afraid to drink wine and I was afraid to go to sleep, but eventually I did both of those things, one leading to the other I suppose. The worst part of all, though, was that I woke up the next day no longer stoned, and thinking it was all over — but it wasn’t. When I left the house and had to deal with the outside world, I was second-guessing myself on absolutely everything. Was I driving stupidly? Was I doing everything wrong at pilates, and was anyone watching? Was I making dumb shopping decisions at the Co-op? Was I now permanently going to be making dumb decisions, or just worry that I was all the time? Was my brain now broken? Didn’t you hear stories about that happening to people? — for probably another eight to ten hours. The only thing that somehow did not provoke my anxiety hangover was coming home and playing Plants vs. Zombies 2 over and over again, despite repeated losses accompanied by the message “THE ZOMBIES ATE YOUR BRAINS!” (Plants vs. Zombies 2, so utterly mindless yet completely absorbing, has actually helped me a lot since the election.) Finally, at a certain point, I felt like myself again, as well as a person who might someday be able to have contact with others.

The sad thing is that I think the bad trip was just me unfiltered and magnified. I have, of course, developed coping skills since adolescence – yes, aside from alcohol, and Prozac – to tamp all down the over-thinking, the self-consciousness, and the anxiety that goes with them to a manageable level on a daily basis. At the wise old age of 48, these are things that I know that I do and I am able to distract myself from them – Hey, look over there! It’s a kiddie ride! When I got stoned this time, I couldn’t look away, and I don’t know why. Yes, I think it’s fairly safe to say that I was more stoned than I’d ever been before, but I don’t know if I can blame the terrible nature of the experience on that. And even though my last medical marijuana episode wasn’t good, it wasn’t anything like this. Which takes me back to maybe my brain really is broken – not from smoking pot, but from not smoking it. The way that all of my experiences with drugs and my body – from alcohol to Pepto Bismol to Robitussen (which, no, I haven’t used recreationally) – have changed over time, it’s not hard for me to believe that in the…wow, eight years since I last got high, my brain chemistry has changed enough that this is how getting stoned is going to be from now on. Combine this with my inability to drink alcohol, eat spicy food, and play any sport with lateral movement (knees), and one could easily conclude that my body is now, saying to me, “You’re 48, you’ve officially had all of the fun you’re entitled to. NO MORE FUN FOR YOU!” Yes, my body has become the Soup Nazi.

All I can do is hope not, or at least hope this current situation doesn’t last. I mean, I know that the stomach situation probably will, and that the Trump situation probably will, but I think that my relationship to depressants will have to change. I will have to learn to just want them rather than need them. Exercise is already a crutch for me, and I don’t really have time to do more of that than I already do. I’ve used sleeping pills for periods of time and I don’t really want to go back there — for a shitty sleeper like me, it’s too easy to get hooked. I’ve tried meditation, and it hasn’t really worked, but I probably need to give it more of a chance. Because now I’ve got four years to get through, on top of the continuing mid-life bullshit, and what else is there?