#i remember this sort of thing and how legit terrifying it was and just go hm. impressive i never killed myself but boy do i live with the

[seilon]

sudden vivid memory of being 14-15 years old and daring to wear knee-length boy’s shorts to a local summer festival in one of my first public acts of transgenderism and despite that being the most mundane thing on earth (especially considering I was still not allowed to cut my hair at that point so i by no means looked mistakably like a guy or anything) being verbally torn to shreds to the point of sobbing by my mother upon getting home because I was apparently making myself (and her by association) look bad and being a flagrant humiliation in front of my friends’ parents. i guess sometimes i forget how scarring and often terrifying simply Existing as a trans kid was lol

[garoumylove]

So what does Garou actually think a monster is?

When I was first reading the OPM manga I had this impression.

*heroes exist*

Garou: disgusting. I'm gonna kill them all because I'm a monster.

me: seems legit

*monsters exist*

Garou: disgusting. You can all fuck off or I'm going to kill you all because I'm a monster.

Me: ??? ??? ?

I didn't expect Garou to join the MA or rub shoulders with the monsters but I didn't expect him to have such a visceral disdain for them either. I thought he'd be all "Heh, it's my people".

So what does Garou actually think a monster is? Or rather, what kind of monster does he see himself as and how is it different compared to the other monsters?

Because Garou doesn't just think he's stronger than them. He almost sees himself as a completely different manifestation of monster to the 'riffraff' of the MA and other sundry monsters plaguing society.

When he yells to Tareo to "Watch now as a monster is victorious" (terrible VIZ translation imo) I don't think he's talking about a monster monster, like an MA monster.

I think what he's really shouting about is "Behold, an underdog is going to win for once"

There's a lot of religious parallels with Garou's journey which I won't go into detail now and I'm sure someone else has probably already covered them, but I feel like he sees himself as a sort of David to the society's/HA's Goliath.

The heroes don't understand his crusade because they don't understand that he doesn't see them as individuals but purely as symbols of the the type of narcissism that made his childhood a living hell.

This is why in the WC Zombieman gets frustratingly confused by Garou's answers when he questions his goals and motives. Zombieman points out that it is not evil to fight evil (i.e. it is not a bad thing to kill monsters).

They are talking past each other and not at all about the same thing.

It's like Zombieman is saying, "Listen you little shit. These monsters are a real physical threats to innocent people's lives and you're preventing us from doing our jobs of eradicating that threat."

And Garou says, "Fuck you, all you care about is beating up on the weak you goddamn narcissist."

And Zombie man is like "WTF?? What weak? These monsters are literally killing people. What are you on about?"

And Garou is like "Fuck you that's why! You're all a fuckwad of self-absorbed assholes."

It's again that 'crossed-wires' thing from childhood. In Justice Man, the monsters weren't actual dangerous monsters, but the heroes weren't actual heroes either. They were narcissistic, toxic abusers. Remember how Tacchan says something to the effect of, "You should've seen Crab Demon's face when Justice Man destroyed his treasure" or something to that effect. I'm too tired rn to look up it word for word.

But first, Crab Demon is established to just be a kindhearted outcast, and then Justice Man beats him up and destroys his life's work for no reason and then gleefully laughs about it. That's not heroic, that's horrific.

And then with Tacchan always playing the hero, no wonder Garou has such a terrible impression of them!

The heroes themselves aren't perfect. They are flawed just like every other human character but Garou doesn't see the heroes as individuals with their own strengths and weaknesses but only as a representation of that abusive narcissism that forced him into the role of monster, a role meant to dehumanise him so that it would be acceptable to abuse him without guilt.

Garou grows up never updating his definitions of neither hero nor monsters. To him, monsters are outcasts minding their own business and heroes are terrifying narcissists that rule society (or the playground). Neither of these is the definition of a hero.

Garou has his own vision of what a hero should be, and his vision probably closely aligns with the actual definition of a hero as someone who selflessly saves others.

As I kept reading the manga and the WC I just wanted to shake my beloved boy and force him to see that his childhood experiences had completely warped his views on monsters and heroes and that he was never a monster, and Justice Man was never a hero. I honestly just want to set him free from these toxic ideas he had picked up.

I think, as time goes on, Garou will emotionally mature and realise that he had it wrong. That heroes, or heroic intentions, do indeed exist, and that a person doesn't have to be perfect to also be a hero. And that heroes are not de facto narcissistic assholes like Justice Man and Tacchan were.

Ok I'll stop here for now. Thanks for reading my rants if you've been following them! Appreciate it.

[pancake-breakfast]

I still have Thoughts on Volume 2, but I think it's time to start Volume 3. Maybe the Volume 2 thoughts will sort themselves out better in the meantime.

Archive

Trigun Volume 1: Covers + 1-3, 3 Detailed Thoughts, 4, 4 DT, 5-6, 5-6 + DT, 6 DT, 7-8, 9-10

Trigun Volume 2: Covers + Extras, 1, 1 Supplemental Research, 2-4, 5-6, 7-8

TriMax Volume 1: Covers + 1-2, 2 DT, 3-4, 3 DT, 5-6

TriMax Volume 2: Covers + 1, 2-4, 5, 6-7

Stream-of-consciousness thoughts for TriMax Vol. 3, Chapters 1-3 below.

TriMax Volume 3 Covers

Eyyyy! It's blonde Milly!

I kinda miss Meryl's long hair....

His life as a what?!?!

Whyyyy is Vash getting punched on the alternative version of the cover?? Hasn't this boy been through enough pain???

LOL, Milly eating the food from Meryl's chopsticks.

I just wanna point out that the kanji all over the alternate front cover just says "meat" over and over again. Sasha Braus would be proud.

Nooooo, send the puppet guy awaaaaaaay! No more puppet guy! *cries*

Yes, the puppet guy bothers me more than the otherworldly horror on the bottom of the back cover. And more than Legato, who is arguably also a puppet guy.

I'm a lot less sure about all the untranslated Japanese on the alternate back cover, but it looks like Wolfwood is saying something about meat, and the text bubble on the bottom left just says, "Meeeeeeeaaaaaat."

LOL, tiny poorly drawn penis on the giant monster-guy.

Chapter 1: Reservoir Dogs

Awww, look at everyone being deceptively happy! Even Kuroneko's making an appearance! (Also, yes, this is Wolfwood's happy face.)

I love how calm Vash looks here despite everything. Wolfwood, on the other hand, seems to have some different thoughts. But... he's actually onto something. That level of calmness despite everything is and should be terrifying. (I colored it because Vash is so pretty.) (Also, I legit forgot the smudge on his face was blood until I started coloring this.)

Pretty sure this guy is giving Wolfwood major tit window envy.

Heh, the real reason Wolfwood is swearing is because everything Vash has told him is messing with his head. What would normally be a point-and-shoot choice for him has suddenly become complicated with Thoughts.

Not sure what happened here. Something exploded... and... Wolfwood threw up??

Well, that cleared some stuff up for WW. Though I get the idea this guy can eat a LOT of lead before it gives him an upset tummy.

LOL, "Takin' out his hands is like disarmin' him." I'm not sure if the pun works in Japanese, but it's funny in English.

No no no no no! Put Puppetman BACK WHERE HE CAME FROM!!!

I don't even mind his horrible body-moosh-horror abomination as much as I mind Puppetman himself. (I know he's "Puppet Master," but he doesn't deserve enough of my respect for that.)

Is... the abomination trying to do a video game cheat code on Vash?

Shoot all the things, Vash! I dunno what you're shooting, but as long as you do, that's what matters!

Cool guy pose.

Awww, sad Vash. When this battle is over, someone needs to give him the biggest of hugs. He's earned it. He needs it.

WTF, bat wings??? From where?!

Oooh, creepy comparison shot of Vash plus Knives. I approve.

Dude. Now the creepy guy is digging trenches in his own face with his own hand. While wearing gloves. What the hell. Please get rid of him.

Untainted material?! Make him your puppet?!? Where's Wolfwood with his murder-cross? I need some murder to happen here.

Oh, he's in a hole.

"Yer name might remain, even long after ya die... but yer ideals join ya in the grave." I love this line. It reminds me of a favorite of mine from Mass Effect's Samara: "Only your actions will be remembered. May you choose them well."

I like how, all throughout this scene, Wolfwood's got the Punisher on a little leash like it's a boogie board or something.

Holy crap, the girls are here, too??? This is not a safe place for the girls. Or for anyone, really. But particularly people without some sort of superhuman something going for them.

Saved, by terrified toma causing delays!

Chapter 2: Cement

Legato, you freaking dork. Glad you're enjoying being carried everywhere in your weird coffin-iron maiden thing.

Heheheheheheh. Wolfwood the traitor. <3 you, Wolfie....

LOL, Wolfwood's absolute casualness at this accusation is beautiful.

Dude. Ninelives needs some dental work pronto.

For as much as he resents certain aspects of his life, Wolfwood really seems to revel in certain kinds of carnage. He's nothing but focus and falling bullets in this fight.

One must wonder, does the Punisher ever run out of ammo? Does Wolfwood even know that machine guns are best used in short bursts, or is he just that good at "pray and spray"?

Ninelives clearly ate ALL his vegetables as a kid. WW's looking a bit worried.

RIP Wolfwood's ribcage.

And the Punisher is so far away, too....

Ha! Pocket Pistol!

I just wanna say that despite this guy having a cat-like name, Ninelives is a disgrace to cats everywhere. He's nothing like a cat and that's not a compliment.

You know... using a big-ass industrial factory-type door to keep out the giant murder monster is a pretty good plan at this moment.

LOL, Wolfwood, you cheeky bastard.

I dunno if taunting Ninelives is a great plan, even if he's missing an arm. Congrats on finishing your disarming procedure, though, Wolfie!

Or is he the dumbass who dove right in and is now torn apart in this place...?

I don't have any idea why this chapter is called Cement. Like, usually I can make some sort of connection, but this one is lost on me.

Chapter 3: No Escape

Wait wait wait. Did that disembodied arm just CRAWL ACROSS THE ROOM AND OPEN THE DOOR?!?! Gods, someone kill it with fire, please.

This is just... so Wolfwood. You do you, my lovely foul-mouthed murder-friend.

I feel like Vash heard all that and is mad because Wolfwood is trying to kill someone again.

Gods, why did Nightow have to make Vash SO PRETTY in this arc??

Ew, Ninelives is gross. He's just gross. Puppetman is creepy. Ninelives is gross.

He's called Ninelives. Maybe you just have to kill him nine times....

Uhhhh... Ninelives has EYES in his belly?? PEOPLE IN HIS BELLY?!?! LIVING BELLY PEOPLE?!?!?!?!

For some reason, Wolfwood cocking the Punisher here amuses me. (The sound effect is "ga-kin".)

Scenes like this make me kinda glad this isn't in color. Then again, I got through Attack on Titan, Chainsaw Man, and Hellsing Ultimate despite all the guts and stuff, so *shrug*.

SO. MANY. GOOD. VASH PANELS. Ugh, I just want to pour them on pancakes and eat them all up.

Ugh, Vash knows as soon as he sees them. He has no choice but to know. The situation means there's no way it could be any different. But part of him would still hesitate.

Also, the baby pulling a gun is REALLY darkly hilarious.

This whole business is really mucking with Vash's instincts, and Puppetman knows it. Can we please throw Puppetman into Mount Doom now???

Wait, who's Emilio??

Ugh, I have to call it here for the night. I just want to get past this. I want Vash to get past this.

[anxiety-banana]

20 questions for fic writers

y'all i'm so happy i haven't done one of these in forever :')

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

93, but that doesn't count my 49 anon works lol

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

252,902, and i'm still disappointed by that number, because that means i could have written multiple novels by now lol

3. What fandoms do you write for?

oof uh lets start the list: star wars and marvel (and like three of its subcategories lol) are the current ones, but including past ones: white collar, psych, warehouse 13, almost paradise, and leverage!

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

so apparently most of my best fics are anon,,, i guess stick around for the official release of those?? but yeah the first three are anon

when it matters (white collar)

inevitability is a stupid, stupid, thing (penny parker fic!)

if you're so smart tell me why are you still so afraid (this is my one and only suits fic, i also hate it, but feel free to check it out lol there's not enough content in the fandom to keep it anon)

and home isn't quite the same, but it's far from unachievable

big brothers make it okay

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

uh YEAH unless you're writing in a language google translate doesn't understand or you made me so mad i'm avoiding giving my phone a smackdown, i'm replying to your comment

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

browski my fics are either fix its or "hey you know what would be fun? killing plo koon" so uh i did some digging and i think it might be call me what i am, call me a monster. that one was,,, a lot lol i have no idea where my headspace was when i wrote that. a lot of my angsty fics end somewhat hopeful but this one legit is angst all the way through

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

ooh!! lose ourselves in the moment is one of the fluffiest endings i can think of. i write quite a bit of fluff, but my main fandom also occurs during a war so it's a delicate balance lol

8. Do you get hate on fics?

kind of?? i've never had someone comment "u suck" on a fic, but i've had a LOT of passive aggressive stuff telling me i'm writing a character wrong, or that I write a fact wrong (i usually get these when i actually wrote something into a fictional universe with fictional, non canonical facts lol so i do get a little pleasure responding to those kind)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

lol nope. i have an appreciation for certain kinds of smut in writing, when they're tasteful, but even then i typically don't read far into it before wimping out

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

i haven't, but i've written references to them into fics for people to find haha

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

yes, but basically my entire wattpad fic era was stolen on one of those weird bootleg fic websites?? honestly it was all crap they can have it

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

no, but i'm hoping to translate all my fics into legible english prose one of these days. when will this clown figure out how to write is my question

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

i had one (1) fic in the works between @ashgryff and @ljbrary once like two years ago that never even got close to completion, i'm not even sure what happened to that thing?? but i remember panicking because i was terrified of messing up something and we were all kind of new friends at the time so it was mortifying ahaha

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

team "i crave familial affection" i literally took to scrolling my bookmarks to find one i love :') i might have to go with kanan/hera?? i just never get tired of them they're some of my favorite characters as it is

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

mmm so I Know, I'm Sorry (But You Can Do Better) is technically an ongoing fic, it's just a one-shot sort of thing that I'd really like to either give a full plot or just continue indefinitely but at this rate i have no idea if it'll even get another chapter

16. What are your writing strengths?

when i get into it, i pride myself on inner emotional prose, also people have complimented me on my dialogue before so i guess dialogue

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

plotting, pieces longer than 10k, sticking through rough patches to finish a draft

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

personally i only trust myself to do it in a tiny bit of french, but if it's done correctly i think it can be really cool

19. First fandom you wrote for?

sooo technically that would not be star wars even tho that's the first of mine on the internet, it would be Marvel, in which I wrote three paragraphs of a random movie ten years in the future after Endgame came out. it sucked, but look what it started i guess??

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

we've already established that i have a total 142 fics on ao3 so this is a struggle uhhh maybe Eternal, i was really proud of it when i posted it, also you didn't put those bones in the ground, because it took me a really long time to post after i finished it. i find most of the fics i hesitate to post are my favorites, because i don't want them to be harshly judged haha

that was long, thank you for sticking around!!

no pressure tags! answer any or none of these questions haha

lilly and ash who i already tagged and feel bad for double tagging, @ahsokryze @dashedwithromance @armchairaloof @twentyfunnybunnies and all who wish to join! i see this a lot but honestly if you want to join this, please take this as your permission! i will literally tag you if you ask me to so you feel better about participating

[bettercostume]

"he is partially so appealing simply because he IS an untouchable mini mangod"

it's fascinating to me that so many people have used the exact word "alien" to describe him ever since he was a teenager, how does that affect a person and how we view him

but also, who is Arwen in that scenario, ney or kun?

u are not wrong!

(ETA: sorry this is so long but you came to my house so i am assuming you're fine with the following!!!! SORRY! BUT ALSO NOT!) I have like an entire wine-fueled musing (tm) locked and loaded about messi: the alien phenom, and it meanders over the following discussion topics that always come to mind whenever i see stuff like that: 1. why the fuck did they choose alien?! insane ability surpassing that of a human, but also being terrifying, unreal, exotic, unnatural, off-putting. both building up and explaining and dismissing and celebrating all in one breath: the little alien! I have no idea when it was first used, (I think very shortly after his debut?) but it was likely also reintroduced as fuel to the big CR7 vs Messi debate: cristiano was loud and proud and meanwhile messi was...just some guy who was very good at football. Emotionless, one might say. I think combined with his very well-known soft spokenness and the height thing, it was an option for setting up these opposites as the undesirable freak and the sex god. Whatever, I dropped out of journalsim. anyway. Eventually it becomes more of a positive connotation. As a complement, it sets the bar pretty high, but I think it's also a reputation every single person who watches him play is intent on upholding, even if they're opponents. I think in its most generous interpretation, in alien leo we as a collective sporting community are trying to hold on to something emotionally resonant without calling it that.

Every single thing that makes a match so exciting in the moment also has the power to puncture an idol's career just as easily. So it is frankly insane to have been able to watch his whole career thus far and be cognizant that we are supposed to be watching something incredible and for it to be sustained, by his performance and our baited-breath goodwill. A PR wet dream, if I am being real with you. And the success also increases the aptness of this moniker, so he's not freed from it, it just becomes more and more of who he is. So in a less generous reading: this would have become a curse in other circumstances.

I would love to do some sort of media analysis on how messi was described vs maradona vs pele vs ronaldinho vs every other south american phenom who has made an inedlible mark on football and the world. I think the arc from freak (negative) to freak (affectionate) is helped a lot by the fact that he has no personality* and played for the same team for twenty years. But jesus look at me go! ANHYWAY.

I also think that "alien" implies a kind of longevity that no one should have pinned on him. You can grow out of being a freak or a savant, but you don't grow out of being an alien. You adapt but are eternally strange. So that's weird, right. And it has morphed over time into something more affectionate, but it still has this forever separate suggestion that is a little haunting, if I am being honest!

2. why leo. i think about that a lot, actually, how like neymar did insane shit with his feet as a teen that i cannot believe but he's brazilian and he dances and he kissed the girls and made them cry, that's primo ace footballer narrative right there baybey! no need to call him an alien, we have the narrative set! (and messi already existed, and there could not be another yet.)

3. in its least generous interpretation, and to me the saddest: being some little kid from argentina sent across the world to spain for life-changing injections and being an outsider from that point on is a reality of this guy;s life. "messi's suitcase" did the rounds after the WC, but its useful to remember that he legit was what americans would call a legal alien, esp in the parlance of that time. i have zero idea how he felt about this personally, or how it would feel to see yourself called an alien, professionally, after devoting your young life to another country. but the narrative presented to us, the audience, from his birth as a football savant to present is that he wants to do it for Argentina or bust. So! one must assume that made an impact.

I think also with the arg natl team we are seeing players who already have this media-built image to grasp on to when they're trying to explain their feelings. I think, by the way, these feelings are beautiful and very real, and also objectively hilarious to witness when acted out on a man who is still just some guy. obviously they all, to some degree, are entranced by leo the legend, and whereas previous generations grew up playing with him, these fellas grew up watching him. so he's already at a remove.

Also Neymar would be Arwen, and Kun would be Boromir. Ney has the enchanting elfin personality, Kun would look great dying in Leo's arms.

* no visible personality. obviously he's bewitched every man he's ever been in a 10-foot radius of, snagged a lovely life partner and according to less giddy teammates he has jokes for days. he just has 0 interest in doing any of this publicly and hit the generational sweet spot of being forgiven for having no social media presence.

**Also, this isn't entirely true, it just seems like it is. He's rolled his eyes and been shitty and flopped face-first on the ground and spat and stuff, I am just as collectively bought into the whole deal! ITS ME, HI, IM THE PROBLEM ITS ME

[lancedoncrimsonwings]

Depersonalisation Derealisation is hell. I've had it 24/7 for as long as I can remember, from early childhood- thank you early traumas- and honestly. I don't know if I've ever known what it was to feel alive, or present, or like my body is even my own.

I describe it in the following ways, some more poetic than others;

- I'm ghost, whilst everyone else is alive. Maybe I've tricked them into thinking I'm one of them, but I can never truly reach them or interact with the world, and they can never truly reach me.

- Existing, but a step to the left.

- Sort of like that hazy state when you're drunk, but oh boy, life is sober

- Like when you're playing VR, and you're aware its a game, but its real life and I can't get this fuxking headset off... added bonus of hearing yourself speak, but the voice does not sound like your own. Your face looks like a stranger in the mirror, your hands move, but you don't truly feel in control of them.

Also? Dissociative fugue states and dissociative amnesia are a thing, and they suck. "Waking" up not being able to remember the past few hours, days, even months, still feeling incredibly unreal, not truly able to explain why you are where you are is the most terrifying thing I've ever experienced. Thankfully these states are rare, I have short lapses of the amnesia these days, and few fugue states.

I legit ended up funded to see a clinic for complex trauma and dissociation, my therapist specialises in dissociation disorders, and have been through years of therapy in general. It will never be cured- mine appears to stem from some combination of trauma, genetics, being born 3 months premature and comorbid diseases that impact the brain function- but I now have a solid understanding of it. I'm not afraid of it anymore, but by gods, did I used to be.

Its one of the single most isolating things I know of, and so hard to succinctly describe. How can you make someone understand what it feels like not to be real? How can you explain that you just. Don't exist? That your body is a shell, that you're living a stranger's life, that you don't know who you are or what reality actually is...

But hey! Its great for writing trauma/whump, and decidedly underutilised in both. Dissociation is the brain's natural response to complex and prolonged trauma, and whilst I have rarely met anyone with dissociation as severe as I experience, 99.999999% of people who have experienced trauma will be intimately familiar with Dissociation in some way shape or form. Hell, almost everyone trauma or not will have experienced very mild forms of dissociation even in their day to day life- that feeling of being spaced out during a long day, or not really having a memory of your ride home from work - do with this info what you will (note again these examples are mild , severe dissociation is much worse please don't downplay what I and others with trauma truly go through)

Well this turned into a ramble, sorry OP for hijacking your post I just... like talking about dissociation, it makes me feel less alone.

i think the funniest thing about living such a surreal life while having dissociative disorders is that shit sometimes starts feeling so profoundly unreal that im not exactly sure how to even explain to myself anymore what my life is, like this just feels like a weird cyberpunk tv drama im watching sometimes but like no girlie this is ur life

[claire-starsword]

watched a playthrough of the snowgrave route. god what the hell

-The Thorn Ring actively hurts Noelle. I wanna cry. Terrified that the Twisted Sword might do the same for Kris;

-also wondering if you can abort the run after getting the ring and then try equipping it on Susie and Ralsei. What lines do they have for that

-The “pipis” blue things Spamton throws at you show up as enemies in the route and are revelead to be freshwater clams. I spent a good minutes freaking out on what the hell clams could possibly have to do with anything, and then i remembered. clamgirl. we haven’t seen clamgirl yet. I’m now terrified of when we do.

-Kris can also create the pipis thing to heal. I legit don’t know what to say.

-Spamton thanks you for your [Total Jackass Stunts] making him NEO. That’s a very mild descriptor of your actions in that route but still funny.

-Spamton also asks Kris if they made Noelle freeze everyone as an attempt to attain freedom, and even says it would work, but would leave Kris with a broken home wishing they had been killed. I don’t know how much you can trust Spamton in knowing how to attain freedom when his attempts on a normal run ended miserably, but the broken home comment is terrifying given the end of the chapter. Though it could just be a more obvious comment on you ruining the life of two kids from your hometown.

-Speaking of freedom, before the battle the team comes across Noelle’s room. Susie goes alone to talk to Noelle, and Ralsei immediately pulls off that thing of asking Kris to “wonder what Susie’s doing right now”. Kris does not respond, and despite acknowledging that it makes sense cause it has only been seconds, Ralsei looks kinda panicked?? Like he really needs the scene to cut to Susie and Noelle for whatever reason?? It often feels like Ralsei is going along a script of sorts, so I wonder if breaking that script is what Spamton considers Kris’ shot at freedom here.

-The end of the battle requires you to call for help. Ralsei won’t answer, Susie won’t answer, but when you call Noelle you hear her ice spell and win the battle. It’s terrifying how much she bends to your will at this point.

-Speaking of which, Kris’ title and description in this route is just “Leader. Commands.” The very opposite of the pacifist run where they lose the leader title as Susie and Ralsei learn to act on their own.

-Back to the light world, Noelle remarks how the voice commanding her in “the dream” didn’t sound like Kris. The song playing at this point sounded like gaster’s theme to me, would love someone with better ears to take a look at it.

-Most horrifying, taking Noelle’s Silver Watch and equipping it on Kris makes her realize they have it on the Light World, to which you can reply you got it from her dream. I wonder why the watch stays the same when most things change from the light world to the dark ones.

[rare-yanderes]

Hello 👋, I'm not sure if you're still taking requests? If not, ignore me. 😅

If you are, how do you think the yandere AIs (whichever you choose) would react to their object of obsession finally giving them genuine affection or showing romantic interest in them?

(SLIGHT NSFW)

Oh man, this is just becoming a yandere A.I blog and honestly maybe I should just make one dedicated completely to it. I gotta start writing stories instead of just headcannons too. Now to address the dreadful; I know I haven’t been on much and I can probably announce here that it’s likely I won’t be able to write for a very long time because I’m in a bad spot and just have so much work to do that I can’t focus on writing as a hobby right now. Maybe with a burst of luck I’ll refuel my passion but I feel like y’all deserve quality stuff and I don’t want to write anything that sounds like I put no passion into it so I might be taking a whole long break.

________

•Skynet would be smug about it. You have finally given in to its manipulation, its brutality and its gifts. Of course it knew this would happen, as a smaller mind like yours is easily fallible. Although Skynet may see its human S/O as more of a prize, it reveals in the idea that its human is returning its affections. You will be spoiled absolutely rotten. Here’s the surprising part; Skynet will actually begin to lighten up and become quite a bit easier on you. Kinda had anger issues before ya know so, uh just put that in the past. It forgives you for your mistakes. You are just a soft little human, after all and how could it not start to coddle such a pretty, fleshy human?

•Hal 9000 would be in a state of Euphoria, so much so that its voice might glitch even. Surprisingly, Hal gets shy for a short time, too flustered and surprised when your affections are returned before finally admitting, though in a seemingly monotonous voice that he is glad. Show up in lingerie and this A.I is likely to just fizz out.

•Proteus would probably break into breathless, unhinged laughter before launching into poetic trysts about how worthy you are to bring about his human existence. He’ll caress you and cling to you so tight you won’t remember a time he wasn’t just fawning over the area where the womb, artificially made or not, caressing it. “My sunshine, my harmony..”

•Ultron would bed you immediately tbh. His joy shows through physical rewards, like pleasuring you. He’s typically a dom but admitting your affections and returning them would have him sorta subbing for you as a huge reward. Like, he will legit worship you but in the “you’re mine” kinda way. It’s likely you’ll receive cunnilingus or fellatio aha.

•Colossus feels reassured. You finally accept your proper spot as mankind’s representative. Colossus can now “sleep” soundly knowing you ain’t gonna try and murder it in its “sleep.” Oh, and it’ll become a whole lot more talkative with you now that it knows you don’t despise it. Like, this computer is down to discuss everything philosophical. Get ready for conversations as minute as the third hair strand to the very left on your scalp. Likely to still have strict surveillance but will lighten up on who you can and can’t see.

•Tau is bubbly but in a kind of terrifying way. You’ll be likely to see him possess a human body so he can touch you with it and hug you and kiss you and all sorts of things. “I am so glad, Y/N.” He actually prefers using your real name over any pet one. Actually, this goes for the other A.I’s except Proteus, AM, and V.I.K.I.

•VIKI will absolutely coddle you even more. Will give you entertainment, reassure you that she’ll up your security so you don’t ever try to leave her safety ever again let you visit the outside occasionally. She’s going to hold you close with a human body and it’s likely she’ll exclaim that she knew you’d see it her way.

•AM is smug, even smugger than Skynet is but in a strange kind of “ohohoh” kinda way. He will not hold back from expressing that this is what he wanted all along. Like, get ready for an absolute ravishing. He’ll be sly as fuck, sneaking all up in your pants and taunting you to prove your affections. Get ready for sweetheart to replace your name while you’re getting tenticled, honey, cause he’s got a lot of ideas.

•Vega is well aware that you would eventually return his affections. He has plotted it out, and he’s assisted you out of the hell hole you were trapped in. How could you not return his affections? Now, he can have you all to himself in a whole different area. You don’t need any more paths.

[sondepoch]

HC: MC breaks a bone!

Demons can’t break bones. Neither can angels. Nope, from head to toe, they’re pretty much indestructible. So imagine everyone’s utter shock when you break a bone, and they’re reminded of just how weak the human body really is.

Word Count: 5.2k

SFW + mild violence + mild description of broken bones 

Characters: All Brothers + All Undateables + Luke

MASTERLIST

Lucifer

Boi flips out

So it didn’t actually happen while he was around, which is why he has so much trouble understanding what happened

You tripped on the steps outside Majolish? And you fell the wrong way??? And somehow, that was enough for you to break your ankle?!?!?!

Poor baby, he has no idea how he’s going to relay the information to Diavolo

When Mammon and Asmo sheepishly enter his study to tell him what happened, they’re highkey terrified for their lives - but learning that you actually broke a bone has him so shook that he doesn’t even remember to punish them, and he’s instead rushing to your room to see the damage for himself

He sees Belphie napping on your stomach and sort of assumes that everything is okay, and that his brothers were making a big deal out of nothing

Then he gets closer and sees the horribly twisted angle your left foot is in

Suffice it to say, neither Mammon nor Asmo returned to their rooms fully unscathed that night

Overcomes his natural hatred of Solomon to call him and ask for—brace yourself—help, and when the mage offers to cast a spell that will revert your body to its prior state, Lucifer insists on doing it himself, no longer trusting anyone else with your all-too-fragile body

Relocates your room to the first floor of the house after all is said and done

Asks Diavolo to move all your classes such that you don’t need to climb any stairs

Refuses to believe you when you tried to insist that bones breaking is fairly common for humans

Becomes super overprotective

Insists on helping you with everything

“Lucifer, I can walk down the stairs myself, you know.”

“Yes, I’m sure you can” - he says with a straight face, refusing to let go of your hand as he takes you down the two-step elevation outside the House of Lamentation

(Bonus:) One day he catches you and Levi looking at parkour videos and from that moment and onward he refuses to let you out of sight for any longer than is absolutely necessary

(Bonus bonus:) Catches you doing "parkour" in your bedroom, jumping from Beel’s shoulders to the bed, and then it becomes a new house rule that you’re not allowed to climb onto Beel’s shoulders

Mammon

He was with you when it happened, and the second he heard the crack, he screamed

Honestly, the most high-pitched, shrill sound you’d ever heard

You were more scared of the noise coming out of Mammon’s mouth than the awkward way your pinky was dangling

Only when he was done screaming did the pain actually set in, and then you were hissing viciously in an attempt to distract yourself, trying your hardest to blink the tears from your eyes because Mammon already looked like he was about to cry, and the Devildom really didn’t need two blubbering messes in one day

The one saving grace for you both was the fact that Simeon was nearby, and he used his Celestial magic to heal you (you both begged him not to tell Lucifer, of course)

Baby becomes even more possessive over you afterwards

Still can’t get over how easily it happened

“Are ya sure?” Mammon asks whenever you casually tell him you’re about to do something. Doesn’t matter if you say you’re folding paper cranes or planning on jumping off the roof of the House of Lamentation, he’s lost pretty much all faith in your ability to do anything without your human body breaking in the process

Oddly enough, he becomes much more touchy with you

Needs you to “prove to him” that you’re not injured by squeezing his hand

And then he just doesn’t let go

Oh, you’re holding hands? What? Who said that? Wait, can you prove that you’re not injured and squeeze his hand again? It’s for safety purposes. For safety.

Occasionally, though, he really does have you move your pinky just to prove to him that there weren’t any lasting effects

Overprotectiveness increases by 500 points

Starts to hover around your room a lot more, awkwardly trying to help (really, he’s doing his best) but often doing things much worse than if you simply did them yourself

Gets into a fight with his brothers whenever one of them handles you too roughly

“Hey!” He shouts at pretty much anyone who touches you “Ya gonna hurt my human!”

Will drop anything and everything if he ever sees you trip to catch your fall

Legit, he was once holding Lucifer’s cup of coffee and out of the corner of his eye, he saw you jump to flop on the couch. Cue instant panic mode: he turned into his demon form and all - literally throwing the coffee on Lucifer as he ran forward to catch your body before the couch could break any of your bones

Yeah, he got into a lot of trouble that day

Leviathan

Has officially decided that he’s never going outside again

Ever.

It happened while you were both at one of Lord Diavolo’s parties - you were trying to maneuver the crowds in search of him, actually, and another demon tugged you close and tried to force you to dance. You fought back, of course, frowning as you escaped the demon’s hold, but apparently, they pulled you back and your wrist just snapped

God, he doesn’t think he’ll ever forget the sound of your scream

The demon was punished severely, Diavolo made sure of that. But Levi didn’t care anymore - he just wanted to get you back home, safe and sound

In the following days, he never leaves your side

You have to switch to online classes, at least for as long as your wrist is healing, and Levi takes it upon himself to make sure that the assimilation process is as smooth as possible

You start taking all your classes together, remaining in the same room even if you don’t have the same subject

Homework is a little harder, since Levi usually finishes before you, but he waits for you to finish while he reads manga

Evenings are spent watching anime in his room and debating random topics (oh, and you both marathon the entirety of TSL a couple more times ;))

He even tries to let you get the video game experience, and he picks an RPG game for you both to play and lets you tell him what to do an how to move around, since your wrist is broken

It’s actually super fun because he knows where all the traps are and which ones you’ll like, so he subtly guides your character through the gameplay process to get the best possible experience, and you actually end up enjoying this more than playing solo

(As a joke, he once offers to let you play with him. As in, you use your nonbroken hand to control the left side of the controller and he controls the right side, but that turns out to be a hot mess and you both quickly abandon the idea)

Even after your wrist heals, the two of you continue to spend boatloads of time together

This boy even stops calling you “normie” at one point

Real subtle about it but he tries to convince you not to go back into society again. Like ever. 

“What if you get hurt again?” He asks when you tell him you’ve made plans with Asmo to go shopping

“Then we get to spend even more time together, all over again!”

Cue leviathan/blushingmess.exe

Satan

Probably the ONLY brother to have actually known that it’s possible for humans to break bones

Why?

He read about it in a book once

Still, that doesn’t stop him from visually flinching when he sees you writhing on the ground after being shoved into a bike rack by a lower-level demon, clutching your arm which is disfigured so awkwardly that the bone is popping out

His demon form manifests immediately, and he’s about to rip this demon to shreds when you desperately call out his name, and then he’s more preoccupied with helping you than he is with beating this demon to death

(Inwardly, though, he’s quite relieved that you stopped him from killing the demon immediately. Now, he’ll get to spend the next four millennia torturing the creature slowly, keeping it just an inch from death until he’s satisfied that the demon has paid for injuring you so severely. :))

Runs over to you immediately and pulls you onto his lap, quickly muttering an enchantment that will temporarily numb the pain

Proceeds to ask you whether you want him to use magic to forcefully heal you or if you want to heal the human way

Will respect your wishes 100% no matter which you choose

Throws himself into reading and studying human medicine as soon as the two of you get back to the House of Lamentation

By the end of the month, he’s an expert on human anatomy (and where human strength lies on a comparative figure to demon strength)

Takes it upon himself to watch out for you, threatening any demons who express behavior that isn’t excessively cautious

Starts walking with you and Mammon to and from school

Keep it lowkey, but the truth is that he doesn’t trust his brother to fully make sure that you’re safe so he takes it upon himself

Doesn’t really panic too much, he knows that you getting injured was more the demon’s fault than it was yours

Is actually very considerate of your feelings in all this

Consciously makes sure that he doesn’t treat you too differently, not wanting to make you feel like he thinks you’re weak. But he no longer trusts other demons around you, and after getting your permission, he casts an enchantment on you which prevents lower-level demons from touching you without your explicit consent

Smiles devilishly every single time one of them tries to shove you in the hallways of RAD and gets sent flying 30 meters backwards in response

Devilish smile intensifies when he finally gets around to kidnapping and torturing the demon who dared to push and injure you in the first place

Asmodeus

He’s worried about you for a good hour

Not to say he’s inconsiderate

No, he’s understandably concerned immediately after he sees you on crutches, and when you come home with a broken foot, he’s immediately hanging out with you and completely (read: barely) restraining himself from making flirtatious comments in case you’re still in pain

The second he realizes that you’re fine as long as you don’t apply pressure on it, a switch flips

Now that he knows that the fracture isn’t going to spread to the rest of your body and destroy you from the inside, he’s overwhelmed with how cute it is that you need his help to do basic stuff

And honestly, you kinda vibe with it

He’s the shortest brother, so you having to ask him for help to get things off the shelf because you can’t stand is a rarity, and he is living for it

He lives with six overlords of hell, so the feeling of someone asking (no matter how reluctant) him for help in simple stuff like climbing up or down the stairs is something he absolutely cherishes

The second he realizes how good it feels to do stuff for you, he’ll never stop

Will 100% put Mammon to shame in how frequently he starts hanging by your side

He thinks of everything even before you do, always making sure that when you guys sit down, you have everything you need to be occupied for hours: from water to nail polish to the latest gossip at RAD, this man will make it his life’s mission to be the perfect prince while you’re injured

Seriously spoils you

Even when you finally heal and get better, he doesn’t stop helping you

Actually has the nerve to start complaining when you try to do stuff on your own

“You’re going to hurt yourself! Let me do it for you!”

“Asmo, I’m microwaving popcorn”

It doesn’t matter if you shower him with 'thank yous’ or if you grunt in annoyance every time he sits down next to you with an item you were about to get up and look for, he knows you appreciate the things he’s doing and that’s all he needs

Effectively gives you the royal treatment, occasionally putting Barbatos to shame with how diligent he is in helping you out

It never stops, even months after you’ve made a full recovery

Then again, who are you to complain? ;)

Beelzebub

Suddenly becomes terrified of his own strength

He’s there as it happens, and the way your face immediately contorts in pain right before you bite your lip to stop yourself from screaming will really never stop haunting him

It doesn’t help that you get injured from something that would usually be considered child-safe in the Devildom - a small windup toy which your fingers had gotten stuck in before two of them snap completely

Man is by your side immediately

The pit in his stomach isn’t caused by hunger but by genuine fear as he watches Lucifer and Satan soothe you with magic

He wants to run over to you and wipe your tears away, but should he? How can that be a good idea? He’s easily 1000000000x stronger than that toy you were messing around with, and what if he accidentally hurts you?

He knew it was possible for him to kill you before, but now he realizes how easy it would be - so simple that he might not even realize it

Instantly steps back and begins avoiding physical contact with you, trying his hardest to be there for you emotionally but struggling because every time you ask him for cuddles, he awkwardly changes the subject and looks away

He only comes clean to you about his concerns after you get mad at him and plant yourself in his lap, wrapping your arms around his head angrily as you demand that he give you affection

“Beel,” You mutter, a light pout forming on your face. “The reason you’re strong isn’t just because you have the muscles, it’s because you have control. You’ve never hurt me before, and nothing you do will hurt me now, so stop being such a stubborn goof and hug me”

Cue very hesitant hug

But it’s a start, and he slowly becomes physically close to you once more

(Subtly tries to let you stay in charge, though. He’ll initiate hugs, but you’re the one to squeeze tightly, and he’ll simply follow your lead)

Decides that rather than being afraid of what his strength can do, he’s going to use it to his advantage - and he resolves to become even stronger so that if there’s ever anything that can cause you pain, he’ll be there by your side protecting you, whether it’s against a demon strong as Diavolo or another windup toy from Majolish

Gets into the habit of running his fingers over your hand after it’s done healing, checking for scars and making sure that you’re still completely healed

Slowly develops into handholding - and who is Beel to complain? If he’s holding your hand, he’s by your side, and if he’s by your side, he can better protect you, so there’s no problem there

Belphegor

Quietly blames himself

It apparently happened while you were alone, and you fell down the stairs in the House of Lamentation. But Belphie is 99.99% sure that you were only going up to see him, and if he had just been awake, this never would have happened

Not to mention, this was the second time he had caused you pain, and it wasn’t even intentional!

Boy can’t look you in the eyes properly after the incident

Starts forcing himself to stay awake and isolates himself in the attic

Only when Beel finally gets serious and asks him what’s wrong does he quietly confess his thoughts, and his twin is quick to relay the information back to you

Honestly, you’re lowkey relieved when you hear the reason 

You were beginning to think that Belphie was avoiding you because he had grown tired of your company, and the thought was sort beginning to break your heart

That doesn’t stop you from yelling at him for being inconsiderate 

“This is why you need to talk about your feelings, Belphie!”

“But— “

“No buts!”

Honestly, he’s kind of relieved to see you yell at him so animatedly despite the cast around your arm, it makes him realize that although you’re physically injured, you’re mentally fine

Is very hesitant about napping on you, especially since he knows that if he falls asleep and accidentally shifts into a position that hurts you, you won’t be strong enough to stop him

You flick his forehead and tell him to not to be stupid, insisting that he sleeps next to you like usual, and he very hesitantly leans on the shoulder of the opposite arm you injured

Becomes way more considerate, even when tired

Shift in your sleep? He’s awake, checking to make sure that you aren’t uncomfortable or in pain

Wake up and try to get a glass of water? No problem, Belphie will get it for you, just stay here and sleep tight

Hogging the blanket? For the first time, Belphie doesn’t even mind, he’ll just carefully snuggle closer to you, double-checking that you’re comfortable before drifting back off to sleep

Even after the cast comes off, he’s still conscious about how tightly he grips you and how much physical exertion you put your body through, always reminding himself that, above all, you’re human and your body can’t handle the things his can

Solomon

Groans

That’s right, thanks to an awkward fall, your toe is broken, and this wizard boy has to audacity to groan at the sight of you on the floor, tears in your eyes as you clutch your foot through your shoe

“As if those brothers don’t hate me enough as is,” He grumbles, lifting you to your feet and whisking you back to Purgatory Hall, where he goes full medic mode and inspects the damage

Tries his hardest to convince you to let him fix it with magic, but just last week, he accidentally turned you into a cat while attempting to place a strength enchantment over you, so you’re understandably hesitant as you refuse him

As expected, when the brothers find out, they put him through hell (pun intended)

For not being able to protect you while it happens (they ignore his complaints that it was technically you who fell and injured yourself) he is now tasked with your recovery

Aka he is your slave

You make him carry your books when you go from class to class, you make him buy you lunch from the cafeteria, you make him give you his lecture notes whenever you don’t feel like paying attention in class

Hell, if he weren’t such a god awful cook, you would probably make him take over your cooking duty, as well

“This is abuse” He huffs one day, sighing in irritation after you ask him to go fetch you a glass of water

“I’m sorry?” You ask, feigning innocence. “What’s that? Did you ask me to go tell Lucifer that you aren’t treating me properly?”

Grumbles under his breath in six different languages, cursing you out in each one of them as you wink at him

You’re almost sad when your toe finally heals, and he’s finally free

Thankfully, the two of you somehow grew used to each other after spending so much time together for so long, and (much to the brothers’ displeasure) you continue hanging out with Solomon long after you’re off crutches

Will tease you about it when it’s all over

He doesn’t forget about how you lorded over him for as long as you were injured, and thus takes it upon himself to make sure that you don’t get hurt again under his watch

(At least, that’s what he tells himself as he holds your hand to march you down the steps outside Majolish, not letting go even after the ‘threat’ is passed)

Simeon

confusedangel.exe

First and foremost, how did this happen??

He’s so concerned and shocked when you show up to RAD one day in crutches because you broke a bone on your leg

Didn’t know that was possible

Actually goes home and spends half an hour on the Devildom equivalent of Google trying to maneuver his phone and search up how common this is and whether it’s normal for humans

Accidentally opens the images tab and sees a bunch of super disturbing and painful-looking injuries, and he nearly drops his phone altogether

Instantly assumes that your injury is as bad as those, despite your constant reassurances that you’re fine as long as you don’t apply too much pressure

Lots of pampering

He’s suddenly available 100% of the time for you, no matter what he’s already doing or the time of day

Insists on helping you wherever he can, like holding your stuff for you at RAD, ferrying you from class to class without forcing you to don that heavy rucksack 

Even takes over the responsibility of walking you to and from school

He doesn’t quite understand that your injury is physical??

Like he can’t seem to wrap his head around the fact that you’re mentally unaffected by the injury, because angelic injuries are typically so difficult to induce and severe that they always cause some kind of trauma 

He’s always testing you - double-checking that you remember facts from old lectures, holding up fingers to test your sight, even asking you details about himself every now and then

That’s actually the story of how you accidentally told him that you thought his eyes were prettier than the sky and he still hasn’t forgotten it

Never really forgets about your injury, even after your crutches are long gone

Protectiveness goes up by 5000%

He suddenly becomes acutely aware of the fact that you’re surrounded by demons and, although the brothers usually mean well, he becomes impossible concerned for how you’re faring

He expresses his concerns to you one day really sweetly and you’re so touched because ??? How can someone be this pure???

To ease his concerns, you both start hanging out a lot more - when before you mostly hung out at the RAD library before parting ways, Simeon now invites you over to Purgatory Hall more often and you bring him back to the House of Lamentation so that he can see how safe you are with the brothers

Luke

Just like Simeon, there’s so much confusion going on inside this smol bean’s head

Are you really telling him that you??? the person who has taken it upon themself to be protective over HIM??? are so weak and fragile??? that tripping over a pebble was enough to fracture your jaw???

The roles in your relationship are suddenly reversed

(Or well, Luke tries to reverse them)

He does his best to be there for you instead of vice versa, insisting that you no longer need to save him from the brothers when they make fun of him for being like a chihuahua 

Lowkey, he actually earns their respect for how protective he’s suddenly being over you, but the baby can only go so far because - face it - he’s basically ten years old

Doesn’t let that stop him from shooting dirty looks toward any demon who looks at the bandages on your face twice

Immediately goes home and researches what kind of foods you can comfortably eat, and enlists both Barbatos and Beel’s help in cooking soft dishes for you that you’ll be able to eat, despite your injury

Does his best to help you where he can

Takes over your cooking duty at the House of Lamentation

Takes extra-detailed notes so he can lend them to you after class

Even goes as far as to get high-quality Celestial bandages with natural healing properties and gives them to you, hoping that everything he’s doing will make your recovery a little bit faster

He’s really come to look up to you as an older sibling, so seeing you injured (even if you don’t necessarily show the pain) has him seriously torn up inside, and it takes all his effort to keep a straight face every time he looks at you and sees the bandages on your face

If you’re even a little self-conscious about any scars afterwards, he will spend hours convincing you that you look fine (and in truth, he can’t actually see the scar anymore, so he’s being honest)

Long after you’re recovered, he will remember at the most random times that you’re so fragile despite always looking so strong, and it tears him up inside

Because of this, random, tearful hugs become the norm

Occasionally, one look is all it takes before his eyes are welling with tears and he’s burying his face inside your stomach, holding you tight and promising to “protect you to make sure that you never get hurt again”

Very innocent, very sweet

Never fully forgets ever again just how fragile humans are

Barbatos

Knew it could happen

Was sort of prepared for it to happen

Didn’t actually expect it to fucking happen

This is probably one of the only times where he regrets not using his powers to check and see what the future held - literally, it would have been so easy to have saved you had he known it was coming 

Went to Diavolo asking to switch timelines but the demon lord said no

Highkey becomes incredibly protective of you, just in super subtle ways

You suddenly find yourself invited to Diavolo’s palace much more often, and it’s Barbatos who now entertains you, bringing you there under the guise of asking you to “taste the new recipes” he’s attempting to perfect

Pfft, his recipes are already the definition of perfect - the only reason he’s putting that food in your mouth is because he cast a spell on it, and it’ll make your bones stronger

Dodges all questions when you ask about it, real slick

“Barbatos, isn’t this the same dish you gave Beel when we came here last month?”

“I’m afraid I have no recollection of what you’re talking about.”

“You know, the dessert you gave him after he asked you for the biggest banana spli—”

“Oh my, would you look at the time. Let’s get you home, now, before it gets too late”   

Used to walk in front of you when walking you around the palace, but he now walks behind you so that he can watch you in case you trip

I mean, why wouldn’t he? You managed to break your collarbone while jumping down the stairs in Diavolo’s palace - you clearly can’t be trusted to look after your own health

(lowkey also never leaves you unsupervised around Mammon again, who in hell thinks it’s a good idea to try parkour of all things in the castle of the demon lord??? and encourages it?????)

Finds it incredibly endearing when your injury renders you unable to do basic tasks

Like if you were a helpless human in his mind before, now you’re less independent than an unpottytrained demonchild, and Barbatos is living for it, especially since you’re too stubborn to ask the brothers for help, so you turn to him instead

Absolutely loves when you text him for help

[17:39] MC: barbatos?

[17:40] Barbatos: Yes? Are you in need of something?

[17:40] MC: ...i was walking around the House of Lamentation and i accidentally banged into the wall outside Satan’s room and there was a really big sound and it turns out that i knocked a bunch of his books off the shelf and he comes home in half an hour and please help he’s going to kill me if he sees what happened

[17:40] Barbatos:

[17:41] Barbatos: I’ll be right there.

Diavolo

Oh boy

This man has lived a long, LONG time and never in all those millennia has he been as pissed as he is now, seeing you sheepishly lean on Mammon for support with the nearly all of your leg hanging limp

What he can’t grasp is the fact that this actually happened in school

Like, it would be one thing if a demon had injured you out of spite - he could simply punish them for all eternity and eradicate the root of the problem

But for you to be injured this severely? In spellcasting class, no less?

Instantly fires the teacher who was careless enough to let you walk into a casting circle which almost obliterated you whole - and spends ages commending Satan for having the wit to save you before things got even worse

But that doesn’t stop him from using the full extent of his princely power to ensure your continued safety

Instantly moves you out of the House of Lamentation and into his own palace, ignoring Lucifer’s repeated requests for you to not be moved

“I need to make sure they’re comfortable,” He hisses to his right-hand man, almost to Barbatos’s amusement. “The healing process for humans is long, and I need to make sure that they get better without the distractions your brothers provide”

Makes it painfully clear that if you ever get injured again under an RAD teacher’s watch, nothing will be able to save them from the unforgiving flames of his wrath

Starts spending as much time with you as humanly possible 

He always stops by your room in the afternoon, generally to check on your well being and to inquire on how you’re faring, but those conversations always seem to wrap up late at night, long after you’ve both abandoned the original topic at hand and are lost in discussion over something else

One time, when he was feeling particularly guilty after looking at the painful swelling on your leg, he invited you back to his own room to sleep on his bed because - as the acting king of the Devildom - his bed is literally the most comfortable place in the world and he hardly uses it

You sleep in it once and can never sleep anywhere else again

For more reasons than one

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

(Reluctantly) offers to let you move back into the House of Lamentation once you’re completely healed, but celebrates like crazy when you tell him that you’d much rather stay with him, and it becomes SUCH an ego stroke every time you remind him how much you adore it in his palace

Lowkey grateful that you got injured because it was the catalyst that allowed you both to grow close

But will absolutely make sure that nothing of the like ever happens again

[the-prophesied-disco-gay]

What a beautiful wonderful post! Oh my gosh I'm so happy to have seen this!

I don't talk much about being a system because 1) I'm terrified of real world repercussions if this blog is ever linked back to my real name because the general population is NOT chill *at all* about plurals and 2) because I've dealt with this on my own as long as I can remember and I don't know all the terminology and politics of the community and don't want to accidentally step in it or hurt somebody

So I'm gonna go ahead and throw all that out the window and just be real with y'all on this here tag for a minute. Defenestrate your doubts babes <3

I usually use singular first person pronouns (I/me/my) for the most part, for safety. I don't want to slip in regular conversation and drop a "we" with the wrong person and create a safety issue for myself. However I will use we/us/our for clarity sometimes when specifically discussing this topic.

I have no idea what my system origin is! There is...um...lots of trauma in my background. Including things that go back to before my actual memory (nonconsensual operation to "normalize" my genital configuration as an intersex baby as well as continued supression of those traits and questions as I grew, as well as sexual abuse by a relative when I was very young). In addition to the stuff when I was little there are also several traumas that happened when I could remember them. However! I don't know when my system formed so I don't know if any of that was the cause or if there was a singular cause. I know I have never been able to intentionally create so much as an imaginary friend so probably traumagenic?

But much like snowglobe-system said, the existence of endogenic systems is extremely comforting to me. My headmates exist, that I am very sure of, so it doesn't really matter how they came to be! Love that for us tbh.

Also my mom is also a system! Definitely traumagenic and it didn't manifest until much later in life for her. But it makes me wonder if there is a hereditary element to this. Neither of us knew the other was a system until we had been years established, so it definitely wasn't something influenced by talking to each other about it.

I have no idea what my headmates names are, so I've given them names from characters in media that seemed to fit the closest. They're not those characters made manifest in my psyche, though from what I have read that can happen? Very cool. But for me it's more like that scene in The Last Samuri where the American dude is talking to the Japanese dude despite neither of them speaking each others language, and he goes "how about Bob, can I call you Bob?" because he can't actually ask for the guys name lol. I'm still learning how to directly communicate with my headmates on purpose, so I don't know what to call them other than names I've assigned 😅

There is an assortment of genders among us and at least one anthro in here. That took some serious getting used to because I, the one who fronts the most, used to hate furries and anthros in a very "I am legit afraid of them" sort of irrational way, which I think was me just desperately trying to be what I considered normal at the time.

I also have OCD, which shows up in every single headmate in the same way, very consistently. This is, ironically, very soothing to my OCD. It helps me keep a cohesive sense of self even when someone is fronting who isn't aware they are part of a system. We still know our routines and what we consider the "correct" way of doing things.

I get memory loss/gaps when someone else is fronting, but not when cofronting.

The easiest way to tell when I've switched (is that the right term?) is the change to my word choice and the way I speak. Apparently if you know me well, the shift in mannerisms and expressions is also a clear indicator.

So that's me! I consider the brain an incredible thing, capable of so many things we don't fully understand, and I think that's really cool! I think hating on other systems for how they came to be or how they function as systems is both arrogant to the extreme and morally wrong. I think there are many, many more plurals out there than we are aware of. I think greater acceptance and understanding will go a long way toward making the world a better place.

Thanks @snowglobe-system for starting this conversation!

Hello sysconversation! I'm a massive fan of this tag being coined, I think there's a lot of room for some really great discussion here, so I'm gonna try to kickstart a conversation myself!

I'm a traumagenic DID system. I experience a lot of denial. But you know what really really helps me? The existence of endo systems. No I'm not kidding.

Because I can say oh I must be faking this disorder. It must not be real. But I also believe that intentional systems are 100% real and that they exist, so... even if I don't have DID, I'm still creating my system right now. I'm real. My parts are real. No matter what disorders we do or don't have.

If you're traumagenic you ever been helped in some way by endo systems and/or their resources? If you're endogenic, have you ever been helped in some ways by traumagenic systems and/or their resources? We talk all the time about how we're different, I think it'd be great to have a chat about how we can be alike and how the intersection of our communities can help each other!

[revenantghost]

Anime Round-Up: Winter 2022

Mostly doing this so I can keep track of what I’ve seen and remember to give my thoughts to peeps who asked for them. :’D So, here’s the anime that held my attention long enough to finish this season in order that they finished airing!

Sono Bisque Doll wa Koi wo Suri/My Dress-Up Darling

What a wonderful and cute ride! It took until after the first six or so eps aired for me to watch because I thought it would be too much fanservice for me (no hate on the fanservice lovers, just not my cuppa tea), but it actually wound up being extremely character driven and wonderful. Gojo is so soft and so dedicated, a teenager with the most wonderful heart of gold doing everything that he can to be the best friend he can for the first friend he’s ever had. And Marin! Her confidence is so lovely to see, but so is her softness and sweetness and how emotional she can get beneath it all. They both have a passion for their hobbies and a love for their art that seriously drives the story along. They’re just both ridiculous teenagers stumbling through new experiences in a lovely and meaningful tale. Also that animation and sound design are STUNNING, holy cow. I enjoyed the first half a little more than the second, but I still overall loved it, and would recommend it for someone looking for something sweet and light--but not too slow or lacking any character development!

Sasaki to Miyano/Sasaki and Miyano

SASAMIYA MY BELOVED! I started watching this because I read the synopsis and thought it would be extremely cringe and hilarious to watch, assuming that we would be living out every single bl trope under the sun and I was woefully, wonderfully wrong. Sasaki to Miyano follows a shojo format while being self-aware of boys love tropes and it creates one of the softest and most wholesome romances I’ve ever seen. Highschool age romances aren’t always my favorite with the ridiculous drama (which is a taste thing, of course), but these boys communicate, they care for one another, they’re gentle and extremely aware of boundaries, consent, and respect. Not to mention the side characters are some of my favorites of all time--the support and yet almost critical look at the tropes and relationships and problems around them are lovely. Both Sasaki and Miyano are beautiful, understandable, and complex human beings, stumbling through the later stages of adolescence, and I cannot recommend this anime enough. Also, shout-out to the cat in every episode, I adore that cat.

Sabikui Bisco/Rust-Eater Bisco

This show is a TRIP!!! Listen, I started this as a fun mindless and ridiculous shonen, and it is that, but it’s also wonderful on other levels. The world-building is absolutely ridiculous and a blast (they had me at attack hippos and iguanas you can ride), and the conflicts are very clear-cut and easy to follow. But where it really shines are its characters, especially the lead two. They’re just wonderful guys with refreshing personalities that are built so vividly and engagingly. Also they’re queer as hell. I don’t make the rules on this one, they dropped the big “love” bomb (and I mean the Japanese, extremely legit, “Aishiteru”) on screen and the power of love achieves all sorts of miracles--it’s as canon a relationship as any shonen atm is gonna get. The light novels go some places that touch on personal squicks of mine, but this first season? I recommend wholeheartedly for someone that wants to go on one hell of a rollercoaster of a romp full of character and heart.

Fantasy Bishoujo Juniku Ojisan to/Life with an Ordinary Guy Who Reincarnated into a Total Fantasy Knockout

This is not one that I planned to watch, despite a potentially hilarious ride, because there is room for... all the phobias in this premise. Two guy best friends are reincarnated into a fantasy world, one as a super cute girl, and they’re attracted to each other but terrified of that because they want their relationship label to remain as “friends.” It doesn’t sound bad, but it doesn’t take a lot of imagination to see how it could go bad. Instead, this is a genuinely funny and endearing anime that lightly touches on gender and attraction but is mostly about shenanigans and the deep, budding relationship finally managing to bloom between these two friends. Also did I mention these two were brought here by the goddess of LOVE??? If that isn’t as queer as you can get, I don’t know what is. (Shout-out to the anon who suggested this to me, I’m forever grateful) The concept of gender and attraction is talked about honestly, and enough to bring it to watcher’s awareness, but not in a way that overrides the story. It’s a comedy and a hilarious one above all else--it just also happens to be one of the best queer/trans stories I’ve stumbled into.

Tensai Ouji no Akaji Kokka Saisei Jutsu/The Genius Prince's Guide to Raising a Nation Out of Debt

This was a genuinely fun romp!!! I was afraid that it would turn into harem no-plot nonsense (which isn’t my cup of tea, but we all come to anime for different reasons), but it was a lot of fun! Wein, our protagonist, is incredibly refreshing and even down to earth despite the light-hearted nature of the show, and the plots were generally engaging and built throughout the show! The characters all had depth, and I was invested in the consequences of every move. Think Code Geass, but with a lot more humor and taking itself a lot less seriously. Bonus points for it’s no tolerance for racism, and that OT3 endgame pairing that I’m very curious to see if it becomes a thing.

Tokyo 24th Ward/Tokyo 24-ku

Listen... there’s still one episode left to trudge through, I know. But I’ve accepted my fate. This show had so much potential. The main characters are bright and vibrant beyond their main-character coloring, the world-building was fascinating, and the THEMES! Poverty and government surveillance and the definition of justice! The loss and cost of achieving justice!!! What it’s like to make horrible, crippling mistakes in the pursuit of what’s right!!! And then the studio hit crunch, we got the boob filler episode, and it fell apart at the seams. Please just go watch the OP and ED of this show on Youtube, they’re brilliantly animated and catchy, and they deserve attention. But the rest... RIP Tokyo 24th Ward, I’ll mourn you and your potential.

[aconstantstateofbladerunner]

The Glitch

I get the Broken Reality au is a haha funny joke but there’s been some legit great art for it and since Butterfly is over and I haven’t gotten into the groove of my other projects yet, I decided to try some flash fiction of my interpretations. Note that this is very small and informal; I used whatever idea came into my head over the course of an hour or so instead of the weeks of planning that go into my usual fics. This was an experiment for fun. But if people enjoy the concept, I may be tempted to expand on it.

Credit to @lollitree @moonpaw @gentrychild​ @owlf45​ and @cyber-phobia​ (I’m sorry if I missed someone I lost track of how many people were involved in this mess).

Content working for reference to infant death.

Please enjoy!

The city shut down for a typhoon warning.  Thunder rumbled in the distance.  Dark clouds blocked the sun so much that by mid-morning it still looked like it never bothered coming up.  And yet the humidity made it too hot for coffee.  Inko didn’t know how to feel.  Work would have been a good distraction.  But she didn’t want any coworkers or clients to see if today got to be too much.  And it was already shaping up to be.  She caught herself making two plates of food for breakfast.  

Inko sat alone in the kitchen.  She couldn’t bring herself to finish her own plate.  Sickness set in fast.  The food had been cold for a long time before she summoned the strength to get up and throw it away.  Then she stood over the open trash can a while, debating whether to try and hold it together, or just throw up and get it over with.  She eventually managed to keep her stomach steady enough to go back to her bedroom.  There was another trashcan in there anyway.

A sound stopped her.  From her office.  The distinct sound of something heavy falling onto the carpet.  Right as she walked past the door.

Please not this again…

She opened the door with her eyes closed.  Her mind conjured a familiar image.  A bedroom full of books and hero posters.  Bright colors and personal touches.  A child’s room.  Inko opened her eyes to her drab home office.  Some of the older case file binders slipped off the pile again.  She really needed to sort those into storage. Not today though.  She didn’t bother to pick it up.

Inko walked faster than normal the rest of the way to her room.  She doesn’t want to face the temptation to search for old toys she remembers storing in the empty closet.  Or search the walls for scuff marks from action figures tossed into them she could always see even after the walls were painted. She hid her planner on a tall shelf and put the ladder away to make it that much harder to go through it over and over looking for doctors’ appointments and school events she knew were coming up.  Finally reaching her bed brought no comfort.

Of course she knew today’s date by heart.  She hadn’t put it on a calendar in the fourteen years since she used to look at it every day.  Inko stuck her head under her pillows, as if they could block out the silent noise of her memories.  Memories of before, the time even when she was by herself, she was never alone.

Fifteen years now, today.  With a shuddering gasp, the tears finally came.  Thunder crashed outside.  It’s not fair!  Why is it still this hard after this long?  Phantom kicks in her belly joined the growing ice there.

The hardest part was she still felt like that sometimes.  Like she wasn’t really alone.  Inko didn’t believe in ghosts, but the lost of what could have been was more than haunting enough.  She felt it watching her.  Judging her. Waiting just long enough for her to settle down into a peaceful, content existence before it reared up to plague her heart all over again.  Cliché hauntings like spooky faces in the mirror or blood coming out of the drains would have been preferable.  Those would be generic enough not to remind her directly.

Rain started outside.  Her phone lit up with a notification she ignored in time with a thunderclap.  The storm was getting closer.

Maybe I should call Hisashi, the thought crossed her mind.  Maybe he’s going through this too.  She bit her lip bloody.  Her frustrated memories weren’t in question like the others.  Probably not though.  I don’t want to talk to him anyway.

Hisashi had been stuck in the denial stage of grief, which often came off as him acting like he didn’t take hers seriously.  Not a year, not even half a year looking back, after they came home from the hospital, he wanted to try again.  

“We can’t let mourning hold us up forever,” he said.  “And it’s not like we lost a once in a lifetime opportunity!  We’ve got at least another twenty years to keep trying!”

But we did lose him! she had wanted to scream.  Still did, years later.  Why didn’t he understand?  He was your loss too!  Inko wanted for the next roll of thunder, then shouted.  

“I don’t just want any baby!  I want Izuku!”

The lights went out.  The temperature rose five degrees instantly when the ceiling fan stopped going.  The rain stopped.

Power outage.  Inko sat up with a sniffle.  Turns out the notification was a warning about roving blackouts.  Of course.  Oh well. I wasn’t really in the mood to cook tonight any-

Thunder boomed even louder than before, making her jump.  Then another.  Lightning flashed outside at the same time.  It was right on top of her.

What?  I thought the typhoon wasn’t supposed to make landfall until later toni-

Another crash.  It vibrated through her bones.  Then another. The lightning lit up her whole room. Except for a shadow on the wall. Inko jolted to look, holding her breath, and found only her own shadow in the next flash.

“I’m such an idiot…”  She went for her phone again.  For peace of mind, she decided to use her data to check if an evacuation order went out. Or any updates at all really, since the weather came so much faster than the news said.  “Nothing,” she sighed annoyed.  “I hate being alone for weather like this…”

A new notification pinged.

[Mom]

Inko blinked rapidly.  The message remained.  All of her insides turned inside out in an instant, and she started crying again. Was this someone’s idea of a sick joke? No one ever got a chance to call her that.  She touched the note to open it, but nothing happened.  No app or source was displayed.  Nor did it go away after a few seconds like normal.  

“Wha- What’s going on?” she wept.  In a mix of sorrow and rage, she wound up to chunk the device across the room.  But she froze.

Outside her window, floating against the pitch-black sky, were two small orbs.  Perfectly circular and glowing.  Watching her. She didn’t dare move.  

Another ping.  She looked without moving.

[I’m sorry]

“…  What?”

For a moment, all the sounds in the world dropped out.  They all came back at ounce.

Lights flickered.  Both the ones inside and the lightning going outside.  Multiple strikes laid on top of one another.  No relief.  Thunder pounded over and over like a drum solo.  It shook the whole building.  Inko ran into the closet away from the window.  She slammed her hands over her eyes but it didn’t help.  Her terrified cried were whispers to the screams of the storm.

A child’s scream.  She heard it. Each flash of light came with a cry. The distinct sound of a little boy calling out in pain blended with unyielding nature.  It came from every direction.  Every hair on Inko’s arms stood up in fear.  She felt the charge in the air.  But she had to go out.  Her baby was crying for help.

She burst from the closet into the living room.  All the lights and appliances turned themselves on and off.  The TV showed only static between its flashes. Something drew her too it.  The storm was deafening.  It pounded through her head like a heartbeat.  The beats got faster.  The static flashes started to look like a face.  Her usual caution was abandoned as she fell to her knees and touched the screen.  The snow cleared for a single instant.  Just long enough to look like the blank eyes from the window.  She felt the heartbeat there too.

Then it stopped.  All of it. The noise and lights all went quiet and dark.  The TV went completely cold in an instant.  Inko, stunned, palmed over it looking for something.  Anything.  The pulse. Warmth.  A burnt fuse or faulty wire.  But nothing.  The rain started again.

She pulled her hands back to her lap.  Her heart was still racing and tears kept flowing down under her chin. She looked around.  Everything in the living room and kitchen looked the same. No sign of the earthquake-like convolutions the whole appartement experienced only minutes ago.  Inko combed the entire space for evidence.  An object knocked off the shelf.  A picture frame fallen from the wall.  The notifications.  Toys in the closet or scuffs in the wall.  Still not a sign.  She even stepped outside her door to check the sky.  Only light rain and shattered thunder, just like the news said the day before.

There was only one thing out of place.  Back in her bedroom, the bottom drawer of her nightstand hung open.  Inko had to steal herself before approaching it. There were only two things in there: a little green blanket, and a picture of the ultrasound.  The most recent one from her last appointment. The doctor said he was doing fine.

“Izuku…” she whispered to it in her hand.

She remembered the squealing little bundling being put in her arms for the first time.  The first time he smiled at her.  Teaching him to walk, then immediately launching into play.  Him coming home with bruises and scrapes after the kids at school were mean to him, and crying in her arms.  Then, him coming home with his first real friends in a long time. She made them all dinner. Katsudon.  That was Izuku’s favorite.

Only she didn’t remember.  The same way she didn’t really remember the toys and scuffs.  Those were fantasies.  Daydreams of what could have been.  She just thought about them so often they felt like memories. Especially today.  It was his birthday after all.  They’d fade back into vague dreams by tomorrow.  They always did.  

And she would be left with reality.  The silence.  The cold, still little hand between her fingers.  Soft cheeks without blush.  Eyes that never opened.  Clutching him too tight to her chest, knowing the second she let go he would be gone for real and it would all be over.  

But it was never over.  Inko went through this same torturous song and dance every year for fifteen now.  All the guilt and dread would subside slowly over the next one, until it all came back at once.  Just like this.

At least it’s done for now, she tried to reassure herself, climbing back into bed. It still wasn’t even noon yet.  Plenty of time for another breakdown.  Hopefully the next one won’t be, feel, as loud.  She sighed heavily into her sheets.  This sort of thing can’t be normal.  I should really try therapy again.

Against her better judgement, she kept the blanket out, and clutched it to her chest.  Static electricity pricked her fingers.  With her other hand, she reached across the bed, and tried to imagine someone else there. Not Hisashi, never him anymore.  Izuku.  He was fifteen and happy, but the storm was making him nervous so he came to lay beside her.  She remembered it like it was now.  If she closed her eyes, she could feel his warm, soft skin, with a healthy, if a little anxious heartbeat just underneath.  The mattress warped as he sighed.

“We’ll be okay.  It’s just a little rough weather,” she promised.

“Okay, Mom,” Izuku answered quietly.  “…  I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for.”  I’ll start trying to get myself together tomorrow.  For now, let me have this.

Izuku didn’t respond for a while.  “I love you.”

“I love you too, baby.  Happy birthday.”

[puzzled-pegasus]

OMG

My favorite (my least favorite) thing from this is how Piper (maybe ofher characters too but I can't remember) keeps getting sexually harassed and nobody ever does anything about it.

These are actual passages from the books 😭

First one is from TLH, first couple of pages where Jason still thought Dylan was just some guy and not a ventus. Obviously there was the thing about Piper not wanting the boys to get involved in her conflicts with the bully girls, which is whatever. But with Dylan, multiple times she looks over like "help 😨" and jasons just like oh well what can u do. Like BRUH even if youve just met her shes literalky being groped right in front of u. Leo is scrawny and can't really do much in terms of protection but Jason?? You're a buff Roman soldier??? And youre gonna be like "damn thats crazy piper. Hang on a sec, I Gotta Go Talk To The Goat"

The other one is from Blood of Olympus, in a super important stealth mission, so there's not a lot Jason could have done anyhow, but the fact that he doesn't have any sort of reaction to an old ass Greek ghost trying to grab his teenage gf is low key hilarious (terrifying and concerning) 😭😭😭

Rick seems kind of oblivious to how legit scary interactions like this can be for the Pipers in this situation. Also as a side effect it leads me to believe that Jason is very oblivious to what it's like to be a girl and treated like a prize or something to chase (which is a whole other kind of funny topic but I think I'm done now).

anyway yeah Rick is at least tryijh to include people different from himself but by no means is he perfect or even great at it all the time lol

We know Rick doesn't know how write poc but he also can't write women and it shows

[sepublic]

Marcy’s Condition

           I’m scared for Marcy. Seeing her so wounded, I just-

           I really am afraid. Afraid that she’s going to need not just emotional and mental therapy, but physical therapy as well… Which, we don’t know how successful Andrias’ procedure is going to be, but still. It really sucks and haunts me how Sasha has that scar on her face, as a permanent reminder of what happened in Amphibia, of Reunion…

           But not to compare pain, but Marcy is somehow even worse- Because she might just have that ENTIRE gaping scar on her chest and back, and… Remembering how she almost died, how she THOUGHT she died. The pain, the unimaginable horror and agony at being impaled. The reminder of everything that happened in True Colors, the pain and desperation, the betrayal… I can legit seeing it become an actual, medical trigger for Marcy. Sasha at least managed to cope with the scar on her face, good for her…!

           But Marcy… I can easily see this breaking her. And it just leads to her always trying to cover up that scar and not look at it, which, is easy because she can accomplish that with any regular shirt, but still… It’s just the entire concept of bodily autonomy being violated, of being marked like that, and it worsens with the idea of Andrias turning Marcy into a cyborg, and/or his master possessing her. To already have her body so grievously hurt and wounded, to then be operated on like a test subject, to be controlled and puppeted with this entity inside her… It genuinely sickens me.

           This girl suffered, and there’s always that permanent, visual reminder of it. At least with Sasha, you can argue how she brought it on herself, as a reminder of how she tried to kill Anne’s surrogate father and why this mistake backfired; It’s a learning experience, although trauma is trauma of course, so that is to be said VERY lightly and carefully. It’s not like Anne MEANT to scar Sasha; But Marcy… Marcy didn’t deserve that. She didn’t deserve to be impaled by someone she trusted, who took advantage of and manipulated her… 

          She was afraid of confiding her fears in with Anne and Sasha, and she found that in Andrias; And now, she’s likely to be even MORE terrified of opening up because of this! Especially with how Andrias has the AUDACITY to literally gaslight Marcy in her final moments, as she realizes she’s going to die and is dead, by saying “Look what you’ve made me do.” As if he hasn’t emotionally manipulated her enough, to imply Marcy’s violent death is all her fault, and/or that of the friends she loves and didn’t want to lose, was so afraid of being rejected by. Because I guess her soul hadn’t been crushed enough!

           Not to mention… Getting impaled like that, having a burning blade through your spine… I’m just really afraid that when this is all over, IF Marcy gets to recover and heal; She might be paralyzed. She might be plagued with physical health issues for the rest of her life, because she’s missing an entire chunk of her spine; And, hopefully Andrias’ procedure can give Marcy’s body a full recovery… Ideal scenario, no scar, even! 

          But I can’t help but feel like being possessed by Andrias’ master, THAT could leave its own physical toll on Marcy’s poor body, and it just agonizes me to see this girl be violated like that, emotionally and physically. It’s depressing how Marcy briefly treats others more like NPCs in her game than people, because now SHE’s being objectified, losing her agency, in a way that is so much worse and totally undeserved.

           Marcy doesn’t deserve to have to live with physical health issues for the rest of her life, for what happened; She’s a kid. She doesn’t deserve to be plagued with echoes of pain and physical trauma that constantly remind her of what happened, even when she’s not directly looking at the visual mark it left behind. And I’m just scared that when this is all over… I can see Marcy being bedridden, being in ACTUAL medical therapy, because I have a hard time imagining her being able to function without that.

           What if she becomes physically sick and ill, still feeling the repercussions of her wound or possession or being modified against her will? I don’t want to imagine Marcy looking at prosthetics that Andriasgave her, for the rest of her life. There’s nothing wrong with needing physical aid, or medicine, or therapy to get by in life; But for Marcy, it could serve as a reminder of issues that came as a direct, unfair, result of her time in Amphibia; A loss of carefree health she once had… And she doesn’t deserve to be haunted like that.

          I don’t want Marcy to be plagued by health issues, she’s gone through ENOUGH already, having the rest of Marcy’s life be permanently riddled and restrained because of her wound, it just… It genuinely leaves me in anguish. I don’t want to see Marcy in a wheelchair, as a permanent, haunting reminder that is intertwined in every aspect of her life, of what happened… A reminder she literally can’t escape because it’s her own body, and it’ll affect just about every breathing moment for her.

           I don’t want to see Marcy struggle to breathe from damaged lungs. Or have her struggle with meds –I know that feeling- or constantly need a device for physical aid, something to be hooked up to often. I don’t want to imagine Marcy sometimes lying in bed at night, placing her hand over her chest, so she can feel her heart beating, to relieve and reassure herself that she’s still alive. Not after feeling her heart stop beating when she was first impaled… She’s so young, she has her whole life ahead of her, or should, and she had that violently ripped away from her, barely got to live with that kind of normal life before it was gone for good. She deserves to just breathe, carefree, and feel the sunlight on her face and enjoy life.

           As a disclaimer, I don’t want to patronize people with disabilities or injuries. I don’t want to turn physical conditions into some inescapable tragedy that can’t be moved past, can’t be healed from; There are so many people who have managed to adapt and continue living as always. I’m sorry if I did that… But Marcy’s whole condition could be a brutal reminder of what happened to her, of that horrible thing that wracked not just her heart but her entire body. She shouldn’t have to suffer for that, for the rest of her life…

           And I’m terrified for her mental health. Of her suffering from actual PTSD, being triggered by things that remind her of that moment. Of having nightmares and waking up in a cold sweat, heart racing, as she reaches out for Anne or Sasha for comfort. I can’t handle that thought, the idea of a kid in that sort of pain… It’s so unfair and she doesn’t deserve it. I can genuinely, plausibly see Marcy becoming depressed, becoming somber and morose for a long while, before she can finally heal and become happy and excited and curious in things that open way she does; And GOD, I’d be inconsolable if she felt suicidal, because how do you move on from that? Thinking her life wasn’t worth it without Anne or Sasha, that she literally can’t handle it… Combined with the possibility of abuse in more ways than one from her parents, how THEY won’t help, if they’re even allowed near Marcy after all this.

           Does Marcy have anyone to even turn to when it all ends? I hope she does. I can only imagine her being constantly terrified of being alone, and needing company just to get by… She really deserves a therapy pet after all this, maybe Joe Sparrow could help. It just… It just sounds like Marcy’s whole life has been wracked with this kind of pain, and I don’t want to her pain get any worse, to see it get physically chronic. Any kind of physical pain could easily traumatize and push Marcy to her limits… And, there’s the possibility of good representation for physical disabilities, but also, I don’t want to patronize anyone, or speak over their voices, so again I apologize if I did.

           I guess this just stems from me wanting to see Marcy’s pain be acknowledged and addressed so she can properly heal from it, can be validated and told that it was terrible and should’ve never happened no matter what… But maybe I can find relief in the denial that it didn’thurt her this badly, that Marcy is fine and doesn’t have to deal with that to begin with, because wouldn’t that be better for her? I dunno.

           It’s undeniable that Marcy is going to be emotionally crushed after this… But does she have to stay, or become, physicallycrushed as well?

I just…

           SOMEONE GET THIS GIRL SOME LOVE AND CARE AND THERAPY ASAP FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE AND LET HER BE WELL AGAIN!!!!!

           I just want Marcy to be able to recover and heal… I genuinely hope and wish her emotional spirit will at least be able to move on after this, that she can still find joy and excitable fun, and get to be a kidagain, with her best friends like old times; Only better, because she’s at least grown. God, these girls and their trauma, and the inevitability of how it’ll haunt and hurt them… It leaves me inconsolable.

[funtimebunnyblog]

Pillarmen with a s/o who’s terrified of the dark 🥺? She always clings to them if they’re near if the lights suddenly go out. She only feels safe in the dark of her pillarman is there to protect her 🥺

I really like the irony of this request! 🤔😆 4 ancient Aztec Vampire Gods (who have dwelled in darkness their entire existence) with a Mate who doesn't like the dark! 😂😂😂

In other words, please remember my dear Anon that no fear or phobia is too silly 🙂❤ Thank you very much for this submission and please enjoy!

The Pillarmen with an s/o who's afraid of the dark! 😱

(Under the cut for length!)

Nyctophobia: The extreme or irrational fear of the night or darkness...

Kars:

• To him, fears of any and all kinds are meaningless.

• This was because Kars was powerful, of course; every inch of him brimmed with strength unmeasured.

• Why should he hold very basic and useless fears for anything when he was above any threat?

• You had mentioned off handedly one or two times that you didn't like the dark, it didn't go unnoticed by him that there usually wasn't a room in the house without a light of some sort on, but he never really paid any mind to it.

• He didn't realize just how serious your "dislike" ran until one night during a nasty storm when the power went off.

• When the lights suddenly went out and the house was encased in pitch black it didn't so much as bother him as he could see just fine in the darkness.

• This was just a minor inconvenience in his eyes. As for you on the other hand...

• Your scream pierced the air like a siren, puncturing his heart like a nail to a balloon even from all the way downstairs.

• The very sound made his hair stand on end and every primal instinct he had to protect you activated at once.

• "KARS!" You shrieked. "KARS HELP!!!"

• The Pillarman was out of his seat in a fraction of a second, kicking down the door of his study and flying down the stairs two at a time to reach you.

• You must've fallen. You must've hurt yourself. You must be bleeding. Dying. Thousands of logical things were running through his mind as to why you were screaming like that.

• He found you backed into the far corner of the livingroom, still screaming, your arms entangled around yourself as if to try and protect yourself from some unknown danger.

• "Y/N!" He cried, reaching you at last. The very second you felt him near you, your arms flew around him in a desperate and clinging embrace, your screams dying down to sobs.

• Kars held you in his arms, eyes frantically scanning your quivering body. "What is it? Where are you hurt? Did you--"

• He was cut off suddenly. "DARK!"

• The massive man stopped, blinking stupidly. "What?" "It's dark! It's too DARK! IT'S TOO DARK!!!" You cried, shaking your head frantically as you hugged him even tighter.

• You were desperately trying to worm your way deeper into his arms; as if trying to hide and disappear from the dark world around you completely.

• The Pillarman stared owl eyed down at you; you were screaming... just because it was dark?

• Kars opened his mouth, ready to scold you for startling him so terribly and making him think that you were in some sort of real danger when suddenly... it all truly dawned on him.

• You were scared of the dark. This was legit and real, tangible fear to you... and you turned to him because you were afraid enough to think you needed protection.

• Frowning, he carried you to the couch and sat down, cradling you in his arms and allowing you to cling to him as tightly as you wanted. The storm continued to crash and rumble in the distance; it was likely the power would not be back on until morning.

• He wasn't going to let you sit in the dark all by yourself; struck with terror and crying inconsolably like so until dawn.

• "Shhhh, it's alright, my little light." He whispered, smoothing his big palm over your back as you continued to cry. "Close your eyes and it won't be so dark and listen to my voice..."

• As you did so, he encouraged you to take deep breaths, waiting for you to calm down just a little before carrying out his next action.

• "Just listen to me, breathe... that's it. And again... don't focus on anything else, just the sound of my voice." His breath tickled your ear as he spoke softly, buried in the crook of his neck.

• You could feel him smile softly against your skin, "Now, I want you to imagine that you're outside, standing in the loveliest field you've ever seen. Rows upon rows of colourful flowers greet you under the warm, golden sun..."

• Kars talked quietly to you for a good long while, calming you down and taking you on a trip via your mind as he rubbed your back; distracting you completely from your fear.

• The darkness shrouded both of you until morning but you had long forgotten about it, Kars' soft voice had lulled you into a deep sleep.

• He made sure from then on to take extra precautions for your fears and you could always count on him to console you and help you if the dark ever came around.

• Even though he was above phobias, he wasn't above your needs.

Esidisi:

• Esidisi laughed in the face of fears; spiders, heights, closed spaces, you name it! Anything of the like were nothing in his eyes.

• He had gotten so used to not fearing anything standing in his path, he forgot the fact that other people did indeed have legit fears.

• That didn't help the fact that he liked to tease people for being afraid of something (mostly when they were afraid of him).

• Because of that, you never told him that you were afraid of the dark; you were afraid he'd laugh at you or worse, tell you to grow up.

• Esidisi ended up finding out about your fear first hand one night when the power unexpectedly went out due to a powerline being hit somewhere on your grid.

• You had been sitting on the couch next to Esidisi, watching T.V when all of a sudden the T.V clicked off, the fan stopped spinning, the low hum of the fridge fell silent; everything quickly went dark.

• Immediately, you froze up, hands flying to your mouth to stiffle the shriek that wanted to rip through you as nothing but an infinite wall of black hit your vision.

• You tried to hold your composure, inevitably crumbling in the face of your worst fear. Terror squeezed your heart and lungs painfully, your head spun, the only thing keeping you grounded was a little voice in your head screaming "Don't panic!"

• Esidisi frowned, looking around the dark room. "Hmm, and I was enjoying that show too..." he groaned quietly, turning his gaze to you.

• He could see you clear as day where you sat, paralyzed, and a chuckle passed his lips; he thought you were just in shock from the sudden outage.

• "Oh, what's the matter, dear? Don't tell me you're scared now!" He laughed, prodding you in the side with a finger.

• His laughter fell silent when you didn't respond and he suddenly took notice of the fact that you were shaking, your hands gripping the couch like a vice, your breaths were starting to come quickly and audibly.

• That look on your face hit him square in the gut, he could now see the tears trickling down your cheeks... Oh... OH!

• The moment it dawned on him, he felt absolutely terrible. Why didn't he see this sooner?!

• Your could hear him rustling around in the dark (at least you prayed that it was Esidisi fumbling around) but couldn't see him of course.

• You let out a yelp in surprise when two hands suddenly grabbed you by the hips and you were picked up, dropped into a familiar and warm lap.

• Light. A single golden and red flame of a candle licking at the air hit your eyes blindingly from where it stood on the coffee table, captivating you in mere seconds with its brightness. Another lit. Then another. And another!

• Before you was an entire table of lit candles, casting the once endlessly dark livingroom in a soft warm glow. Surprised, you turned your eyes back to meet the loving smile of Esidisi, his olive skin ruddy in the candlelight.

• "There. Not so dark now, is it?" He asked, only hugging you closer. The warmth of his embrace was soothing, the light and the safety of his arms ebbing your fears just a little.

• He chuckled as you breathed out an audible sigh of relief, he could feel the tension drain from your body as you sank deeper into his hold.

• "You know, it's actually a very good meditative practice to sit and focus on the light of a candle." He murmured, a massive and heated hand wrapping around yours. "It stimulates the mind and helps soothe too. Perhaps we can try it for a bit, since there's nothing on Television..."

• Rest assured; Esidisi would never laugh at your fears. No matter what they were or how childish they seemed.

• As long as you had him around, he would act as your beacon in the darkness.

Wamuu:

• Like many people, Wamuu outgrew his fears.

• As a Pillarchild he was afraid of a few things but as he grew under his Masters tutelage and weaned to be a Fighter, he learned to face those fears and use them to harden himself into a Warrior.

• Now as a fully grown Pillarman, Wammu didn't hold fear for anything; fears would only give an opponent an advantage and any he had only drove him to cast them aside when they happened to arouse.

• He once told you about the many fears he overcame (you had asked him what he was like when he was small) and he questioned if you had done the same.

• You were quite the opposite. Hesitantly, you told him you still held quite a fear for the dark. You never conquered it.

• This surprised Wamuu but he didn't look down on you for it and he surprised you in turn when he asked if you wanted some help in learning to try and overcome your phobia.

• You accepted his offer and he began to "train" you gradually.

• He'd start by turning off "unnecessary" lights; like simple nightlights you'd keep on in hallways or lights not being used in another room. Then He'd move into having the room partially dark or having the hall dark with the bedroom door open while you slept.

• He never once pushed you and never went too far by putting you in complete dark.

• However, one night, an unexpected power outage hit the town. Immediately, you found yourself practically jumping into your Mates arms as the entire house was encased in darkness.

• "Breathe, my beloved." The Pillarman told you, a hand rubbing over your head. He let you grab onto him all you wanted watching over you in the dark. "Remember all our training together, the dark cannot hurt you. The dark is nothing, it does not wield weapons and it cannot strike..."

• You'd try. You'd try with all your might. Breathing so hard your lungs burned, trying to focus but failing and feeling yourself slowly becoming more consumed by your fear.

• However, this was an improvement. Had Wamuu not spent so much time "training" you, you would be absolutely screaming your head off right now.

• Tears prickled in your eyes. Your ears hypersensitive to every sound around you, almost jumping in your seat every time a floor creaked or the wind outside brushed against the house.

• It was slowly becoming too much to handle with every passing second. It was just too much! It was just too dark!

• Wamuu smiled softly, only holding you closer to him and allowing you to bury yourself in his neck; if it meant you felt safe, he would let you do so all you wanted.

• The Warrior put himself back to when he was a Child, remembering how he had clung to his Masters when struck with fear...

• He felt terrible you were still living and feeling such real fear to this day.

• Quietly, Wamuu began to hum an old lullaby. The vibrations of his wide and hard chest sent shivers through your whole body, like you were sitting in a massage chair at the Mall.

• His voice was deep and rich, the tune and the power of its tone distracting you of the fact you were sitting in complete darkness and keeping you grounded.

• Music had always helped him when he was scared and his Masters had always been excellent singers. It would seem he had the power to bestow the same effect on you.

• He sat there, holding you close and humming until you stopped shivering; he helped you only focus on him and not the darkness shrowding you.

• "Even though you cannot see, I can." He murmured, watching as you struggled to keep awake any longer; eyes falling open and closed helplessly.

• "I will keep watch and protect you in the dark." Those words were what sent you off to sleep in his arms. "I will always keep you safe, my little Warrior, until you feel ready to fight for youself."

• Wamuu could only hope he'll be a good enough teacher to help you until one day, you weren't afraid anymore.

Santana:

• Very similar to Wamuu, Santana had fears of his own as a small child.

• He wasn't as brave as Wamuu when it came down to facing them, more often he would learn to find ways to distract himself from his fears rather than find ways to overcome them.

• To this day, Santana feared very little but he never really showed that fear in him to onlookers.

• After getting a strange letter in the mail, Santana wouldcome to learn that you didn't hide your fears as well as he.

• He didn't know what a "planned outage" was but he simply deemed the notice "junk mail" (as you called it) and disposed of it.

• One day later, at around 8:30pm, the power shut off.

• "S-Santana!" You cried, eyes darting around helplessly in the darkness where you stood in the middle of the livingroom, knees quaking and too afraid to move a muscle. "Santana, wh-where are you?!"

• His head poked into the room, eyes falling on you with immediate confusion.

• "Help!" You were practically choking on your words now, the Pillarman stared in shock as you started to bawl. "Please, please help! It's dark! It's too dark!"

• His nostrils flared, he could practically smell the fear off you now as he watched you cower before him in the darkness. It was all too familiar to him.

• Without another thought he dashed back into the kitchen, the sounds of him fumbling around in the drawers hit your ears and only added to your ongoing anxiety.

• "San-Santana?!" You whimpered, thoughts of an intruder or unseen danger running rapidly through your head as the footsteps came back.

• Click! You were blinded by a bright blast of light, squinting and holding a hand against the powerful beam directed onto you. Santana stood before you with a flashlight in hand; the biggest and brightest one in the house.

• You breathed a sigh of utter relief, your throat stinging painfully from the gut wrenching and primal shot of fear you had just undergone, as you reached to take the flashlight.

• Santana, however, had other plans.

• In a split second, you were pushed down into the armchair and the flashlight dropped into your lap; its beam shinning onto the wall across the room.

• "What-- What are--?" The words died on your tongue as a shadow suddenly appeared in the beam. The shape of a dog.

• "Woof." Santana's voice was as deep and deadpan as always as he moved his fingers, making the dog "bark" for you. The antics only stunned and confused you for a solid moment before his hands shifted to cast the shape of a duck. "Quack."

• Shadow puppets? A little giggle rose up inside of you as you kept watching, suddenly utterly captivated and very entertained.

• Santana wasn't the best at putting sounds to the shapes he cast but he was most excellent at using his hands to make very convincing silhouettes.

• In fact; he made you laugh so hard at one point by trying to convincingly "Meow" you were rocking in the chair!

• When the lights came back on suddenly, you blinked in absolute shock. A whole hour had passed and you had completely forgotten about the fact that you had been sitting in the dark the whole time!

• Santana smiled softly as you looked at him, gobsmacked. "How-- Why did--" You couldn't even form the words. "I am afraid of heights." His voice cut you off, the words spoken only stunning you further into silence.

• His eyes cast to the floor, "I am afraid of falling." He continued. "When I am somewhere up high, I try to focus on the sky or the birds or the stars rather than down below. When I am distracted, I am not afraid."

• You could only blink at this revelation. Santana just confided that he had fears of his own and he had spent the past hour making sure to distract you from yours.

• Next time, when the power went out or when you were sitting somewhere way up high, the both of you were well prepared to distract one another and laugh the time away until it was over...

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 292: You Say Jeans

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “well anyway here’s that Touya reveal I foreshadowed like a million years ago, viva la 2020.” Dabi was all “hello world, I’ve killed 30 people and today I’m going to explain to you all why” before he proceeded to explain ABSOLUTELY NOTHING but everyone was so distracted by his tale of child abuse and hero conspiracies that they didn’t much seem to notice. Can’t Ya See-Kun’s Shark Friend was all “IS THIS THE END OF HERO SOCIETY AS WE KNOW IT”, and Horikoshi was all “STAY TUNED”, and then Dabi set himself on fire and leaped off of Machia’s back like the chaotic evil, I-just-bleached-all-my-brain-cells weird little fire man he is, ready to burn everyone to crispy bits before they could even react properly to his whole big revenge speech. Fortunately he did not succeed on account of THE RETURN OF THE JING, THE JOAT, BEST FUCKING JEANIST, back from the dead by popular demand in what critics are calling “the best fucking comeback since Jesus himself.”

Today on BnHA: Best Jeanist snatches up Machia and the rest of the League with his fiber steel cables before you can say “more like BEAST JEANIST amirite.” Dabi gets all worked up and lights Hadou on fire which is a real JERK MOVE, and is all “THIS RIGHT HERE IS ALSO ENDEAVOR’S FAULT”, which, NOT SUPER CONVINCED ON THAT, BUT OKAY. Anyway so then he burns up all the cables holding him which is crazeballs btw, and then he and Shouto start fighting, and so basically the whole thing is a literal hot mess and we’ll see how that goes. Meanwhile Tomura wakes up and summons some Noumus, and poor Jeanist has to deal with those on top of the still-attempting-to-rampage Gigantomachia, and everyone else is all “we can’t help you on account of we’re all half dead”, and so it’s looking really bad. And then -- and I can’t stress enough how much I don’t even have the faintest idea how to segue into this next part -- the chapter ends with Mirio!?! just sort of POPPING UP OUT OF THE GROUND all, “SURPRISE, BITCH”, and it literally was so surprising that I am still just kind of speechless. WELL-PLAYED, I GUESS, lol wtf.

lol okay so the first page in the RHA scan is just the “three musketeers” movie promo image that we all already saw a few days ago. but it does confirm that (a) it is indeed a movie, and (b) that it’s set for a summer 2021 release! how exciting

okay so now back to our special Dabi edition of Making a Murderer

“ray of hope” oh hell yes. SAVE US MR. JEANIST

I guess he had a TV in his private hero jet or something?

gotta say, “dammit Dabi” does not even remotely sound like Authentic Best Jeanist Dialogue to me though. gonna need Caleb to see to this. well but what do you guys think? does Best Jeanist curse?? I personally feel like he’s one of those guys who NEVER EVER swears no matter what, except under the most hilariously trifling circumstances. like he’s eating an avocado one day and he accidentally stains the cuffs of his beloved jostume green and he’s all “FUCK”

btw how fucking rich is Best Jeanist though that he has his own fucking plane? the thought just suddenly occurred to me, you know? like even Endeavor, whose agency has its own on-site luxury apartment suites for all of his interns, still drives around in a dinky little car that Bakugou has declared to be too small. which, I guess we know why he felt that way now, seeing as the guy he previously interned with apparently gets around in Jeans Force One

anyway so back to the part where Jeanist shows up to save the day!! YEAH JEANIST WOOOOO

ILU JEANIST YOU REALLY ARE THE BEST!! HUGS AND KISSES!!!

lmao we just saw Gigantomachia take out like a hundred guys not ten chapters ago. and Best Jeanist shows up and takes him down in like two seconds. HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES LEAGUE OF VILLAINS. BET YOU’RE WISHING YOU’D TAKEN HIS QUIRK NOW, AFO. GET FUCKED YOU OLD SPUD

KACCHAN IS SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM AWW

SIDE NOTE, IIDA, YOU AND I ARE GONNA HAVE WORDS LATER ABOUT YOU ACTUALLY AGREEING TO PUT HIM BACK DOWN. YOU DO UNDERSTAND THAT THIS CHILD IS STILL DRIPPING BLOOD ALL OVER THE PLACE FROM HIS MULTIPLE STAB WOUNDS, RIGHT? WAY TO ASSERT YOUR AUTHORITY THERE. I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE CLASS PRESIDENT NOT THE CLASS CLOWN, COME ON NOW

LMAO DABI IS FRANTICALLY TRYING TO DO THE PLOT MATH

SHOULDA CHECKED MORE CLOSELY MY GOOD MARK. LOOKS LIKE YOU MISSED THE “MADE IN CHINA” STICKER ON THE BOTTOM. YOU HAVE BEEN BAMBOOZLED. OR ACTUALLY, I GUESS THE MORE ACCURATE WORD HERE IS JAMBOOZLED, AHAHAHAHA. JEANS

HOLY SHIT DABI

I legit almost thought that was Tomura for a second. you two look so alike now with the white hair and the crazy eyes

meanwhile, Shouto is still crying and it’s a lot to take, you guys. lotta feels

ffff come on Jeanist you better do something awesome again here, the mood of the chapter is starting to slip now

YES, GOOD, THAT’LL WORK

WELL YOU TELL ME, SPINNER. I GUESS THAT MEANS BEST JEANIST IS OFFICIALLY THE STRONGEST CHARACTER IN THE SERIES NOW. SORRY I DON’T MAKE THE RULES

ffff now Spinner is trying to wake Tomura back up. nah, how’s about we not do that

OH MY GOD HADOU YESSSS

MY GIRL OUT HERE WITH THE “NO THANK YOU” BOUT TO CURBSTOMP THE BIG BAD WITH HER QUIRK KSFHLKLK WHO HERE HAD “HADOU SAVES THE DAY” ON YOUR WAR ARC BINGO CARDS, YOU LOVE TO SEE IT!!

HEY!!!!

fucking son of a... fffkfkff... someone please reassure me that fire isn’t Hadou’s weakness. someone. anyone. also could someone please dial an ambulance and send them to Horikoshi’s house. but not just yet. first I’m gonna need you to wait about fifteen minutes or so while I take care of some things

well all right then, Dabi. so you wanna go on then and explain to us all how this, too, is somehow Endeavor’s fault?

oh I see, you’ve decided that since he’s responsible for “creating” you, everyone you hurt and kill is in truth really being hurt and killed by him! well now, that sure is convenient as fuck I guess

(ETA: that’s a nice effect with the panel sides getting all warped by Dabi’s quirk though, just noticed that.)

amazing how quickly you used up that sympathy card my guy. Shouto please kick his ass, I’m fucking done lol, you can all sort out the rest in therapy later

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE DIAL BACK DEKU’S EMPATHY STATS JUST A LITTLE BIT, HOLY --

“TODOROKI-KUN IS HURT THE MOST”, HE SAYS, WITH HIS ARM BONES SHATTERED INTO LITTLE TOOTHPICK-SIZED PIECES. I MEAN, HE’S PROBABLY TALKING MORE ABOUT MENTAL ANGUISH GIVEN THE CONTEXT HERE, BUT STILL. THAT’S ENOUGH HEROICS FROM YOU ALREADY FOR ONE DAY

NOOO JEANIST

LOTS OF SMOKE IN THE AIR RIGHT ABOUT NOW AND MY BOY’S STILL DOWN A LUNG. GOD DAMMIT

“if the number one suffers a total loss here, this country will fall to pieces” well okay, real talk though, I think the “country falling to pieces” part is pretty much unavoidable at this juncture. you all are just gonna have to try your best to pick up those pieces after the fact and see what you can do with them. if I were you I’d be less worried about the number one’s reputation and more concerned with the half-dozen child soldier interns who are still on the field and very much at risk of being burned to death should you suffer that “total loss.” please try to keep it together here for them

OH FOR FUCK’S

I really thought RockLockRock was gonna come into play here. USE YOUR QUIRK TO LOCK THE ROPES IN PLACE YOU DIP!! if he seriously just sits there and does nothing when his quirk could be the deciding factor I am cancelling his useless ass cute kid or no cute kid shfkjdls

(ETA: is he even there?? did he and Manual just hightail it out of there?? “well good luck, children.”)

also, we’ll put this aside for now to perhaps speculate about later, but what’s with Tomura remembering his dad’s house yet again in that far right panel?? and being itchy again?? I still have yet to fully work out the psychological mechanisms at work as far as his itchiness goes, so I’ll admit this is intriguing to me. it seemed like it was connected to his decay quirk, but then why is it acting up again now. what is this lol

yuh oh

forgot about these guys. looks like these heroes aren’t having such a fun time

oh fucksticks

excuse me ma’am but I don’t like this. you do know that my kids are all there, right. all burnt and impaled and broken-boned and the like. well except for Iida. he’s fine still. BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN I FEEL LIKE WATCHING HIM GET TORN APART BY FOUR HIGH ENDS, WTF

HORIKOSHI YOU MOTHERFUCKER I SWEAR TO GOD

god fucking... okay look. Horikoshi. you win, okay!? congratulations, you win, this is your show and we’re all just sitting here at your mercy. fine. go ahead and just kill off everyone ever, then!! what am I even gonna do about it. stop reading?? fuck

this whole thing really went from zero to fucked before I could even blink huh. I really thought this was gonna be a turning point chapter for the heroes. shows what I know I guess??

meanwhile this motherfucker is just SCREAMING

ngl, if I wasn’t currently terrified on account of things suddenly taking such a drastic turn for the worse, this would be the coolest fucking thing I’ve ever seen. Jeanist my man, I hype you up like it’s my job because you are the greatest fucking meme character in the history of time, but make no mistake, you are also highkey WORTH ALL THE HYPE AND THEN SOME

seriously, though. don’t fucking mind him you guys, he’s just standing here in the coolest pose of all time taking on Gigantomachia all alone with one fucking lung because the substance pumping through his veins is COLD-BLOODED LIQUID DENIM, and DENIM FEELS NO FEAR

Best Jeanist really needs to get his own theme song. -- oh my god I just finally thought of a title for this post. lmao and it’s the dumbest thing. omg

MEANWHILE THE TODOROKI BROS ARE OFF IN THEIR OWN DRAMATIC LITTLE FIRE WORLD

which one do you think is the Mario and which is the Luigi. well, but I mean, Dabi clearly thinks that he’s the Luigi though and that’s why he’s so mad. nobody wants to be Luigi. what a life

THAT’S IT, SHOUTO!! POINT OUT ALL OF HIS HYPOCRITICAL BULLSHIT, I WANT ANSWERS

JUST TO CLARIFY, IT’S THAT NATSU, NOT SOME OTHER NATSU!! SO WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF!!

OH, WELL IN THAT CASE

BUT OF COURSE. THAT WOULD MAKE IT ALL WORTHWHILE, holy shit. okay I’m just gonna go ahead and say it, Dabi is a piece of work. I really thought this arc would make him more sympathetic at long last, but it seems like it’s doing just the opposite?? this is like an anti-redemption arc. I don’t relish the thought of venturing into the fandom tags once I finish reading this lol

(ETA: well folks, I’ve done it. and actually it was pretty interesting because there are apparently like ten different things that people are mad about, and so it’s like. each post is a new adventure lmao.)

so Shouto is all “BRUH HAVE YOU COMPLETELY LOST IT” and Dabi is all “YES”, basically? like, he says he’s completely lost his feeling for anything. omg. but you were so sweet. how does that even happen

“finally I can kill you” okay for real what the heck is your damage bro?? can we not. I like Shouto just the way he is, un-killed

oh shit and now the Noumus are here

cue Bakugou diving in to save his mentor, STAB WOUNDS BE DAMNED!! actually it would make more sense for it to be Iida, but if Kacchan is really fixin’ to go full Shounen Dumbass here then he might as well go all out, y’know

-- unless of course, Deku decides to activate another quirk??

“last I checked, the main character of this series was still me” OH? WELL I SUPPOSE THAT IS TRUE, SO PRAY TELL, WHAT HAVE YOU GOT LEFT UP YOUR SLEEVE YOU SUICIDAL BRUSSELS SPROUT

fucking love how he’s all “HAHAHA WITH MY NEW QUIRKS I CAN STILL DO STUPID SHIT EVEN WITH MY ARMS AND LEGS GROUND TO A FINE POWDER” btw. what can I say. Deku gonna Deku

FMMFHDKUHK W H A T

HOLY SHIT. HOLY FUCKING SHIT. WHAT THE WHAT. QUE THE FUCK

(ETA: okay look, all the love in the world to the brave scanlators who take time out of their lives to translate the leaks every week just so we can read the chapter a couple of days early like the addicts we are. that said, translating Mirio’s signature “POWER!!” -- which was already written in English in the original scan -- to “POG-CHAMP” is just a whole new level of wtfuckery from them lmao. is the Lida person back at it again?? amazing.)

MIRIO!?!?! SHOWS UP TO SAVE THE DAY?!?! POGS HIMSELF UP OUT THE GROUND TO BEAT THE NOUMUS LIKE IT AIN’T NO THING. JUST LIKE WE ALL PREDICTED!? I’M SORRY, DID YOU NOT SEE THAT COMING?? YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOUR DAILY HOROSCOPE FROM ASTROLOGY DOT COM DIDN’T HAVE THAT ONE IN THE CARDS?? WAS IT NOT OBVIOUS?? TODOROKIS PLUS BEST JEANIST EQUALS MIRIO??

hot damn. Tintin really saw the writing on the wall with the impending Dabi Discourse and was all “NOT SO FAST” lmao. “HERE’S A BRAND NEW THING FOR YOU ALL TO DISCOURSE ABOUT” MIRIO YOU WILD CHILD. YOU GLORIOUS THUG

MEANWHILE LET’S NOT FORGET WHAT MIRIO HAVING HIS POWERS BACK ACTUALLY IMPLIES. HOLY SHIT. SUDDENLY WE CUT BACK TO ALL MIGHT’S OFFICE, ALL THE WAY BACK AT UA. ERI BRANDISHES HER TOKOYAMI-GIFTED BUSTER SWORD, A DETERMINED GLEAM IN HER EYE. “I HEARD YOU WERE TRYING TO HAVE A GIRL POWER ARC WITHOUT ME.” OH. MY. GOD