#i remade them like. 3 times at least.

[raiiny-bay]

made 2 of cricket's group members so far - 3 more to go

[every-sanji]

[love-quinn]

— GOOGLE REVIEWS

summary — carmen's never been good with his words, so when he finds you crying in the walk-in, he gets some help to convince you that you're capable of doing your job.

warnings — swearing, general customer-service nightmare stuff. reader is younger than carmen but i pictured/wrote her as being mid-late twenties (25-28 ish) and i think carmy is early 30s so there's an age gap but they're both fully adults, also boss/employee relationship so power imbalance but also nothing happens between them

pairing — carmen berzatto x fem!waitress reader, not established relationship

pronouns — she/her

word count — 1.9k

note — first carmen fic so obligatory warning that he might be OOC, i rlly work on dialogue and shit but i am finding my footing. waitress!reader is kinda special to me i might write some more about them cause they're both so silly if that's something people would be interested in? anyway i hope you enjoy :3

“Stupid… fucking useless- fuck!”

The rush is familiar. The lunch rush, the dinner rush, the fifteen different orders jumbling in your head as you struggle to write it all down in time. Holding nine full glasses of nine different drinks in one hand and struggling to push open the door to run the food out into the dining room. Having to go to Richie and tell him that someone’s card declined so you didn’t have to be the one to tell them. Going into the walk-in and just opening your mouth in a silent scream just to go back out there and finish your shift. 

The rush of cold air on the back of your neck is familiar too. You don’t know what Carmen’s yelling about in the kitchen. You’d just stepped in there to grab food and had caught the tail end of his rant and you’d left with your tray and a million possibilities running through your head.

You’d written something down wrong and now a dish needed to be remade. 

You’d left one of the fridges open and spoiled days worth of food.

You’d given someone something they were allergic to and now you were being sued.

You move through the restaurant on autopilot, avoiding people and chairs and one of Richie’s spitballs sent from behind the counter. You’re so sure that the next time you went back in that kitchen Carmy would be pulling you aside and telling you that you’re fired. 

You deliver the food to the table with a smile and stand back upright to check in with them about that being everything. One of the women sits up a little straighter, giving you an apologetic look. “Sorry, I ordered a side of the lemon herb dressing?”

You look down at her dressing-less plate. “Oh, I’m sorry. I’ll be right back with that one, so sorry.”

She waves you off. “You take as long as you need to, honey.”

You practically speed back to the kitchen. Oh, god. You hoped you’d at least get that poor woman her dressing before Carmy fired you. You can’t believe that you managed to screw this up. You’d been lucky to get this job. Carmen had brought you on right when he’d opened up the restaurant and the rest of The Bear had all been super welcoming.

You got on best with Sydney, the two of you were similar in age and she was one of the kindest people you knew. You and Richie also had a nice relationship, you thought he hated you when you first got hired and then he walked out into the alley to have a cigarette, found you crying and punched a guy in the face for you. 

You needed this job. You’d graduated a few years ago and were still struggling to break through in your field, and this job paid the bills and didn’t make you cry every single day. Some days, sure, but not every day. 

You knew you weren’t the best waitress ever, you screwed up and made customers yell at you pretty frequently. You were lucky that Richie liked you enough to stand up for your honor even when you were probably wrong. But you tried your absolute best, you came into work every day and genuinely wanted to help. You respected all of the chefs so much, they all worked so hard, and you wanted to make their lives as easy as possible. 

You go over to Richie and murmur something to him about the dressing, and he takes it to the kitchen. First whatever you’d done to upset Carmy, now this. If he didn’t think you knew how to do your job before, he definitely will now. You glanced over your section. All your tables were eating or had ordered, you’d normally be checking with Sugar when the next reservation was due and triple-checking the table was clean and everything was prepared. 

If you were going to get a walk-in minute in, now would be the best time. Maybe you could do it before Carmy fired you. 

You brush past Tina, not even hearing her concerned call for you. The walk-in was empty and everyone in the kitchen understood. When someone goes into the walk-in with tears in their eyes you leave them alone for as long as you can. 

You can’t believe that you were stupid enough to screw this up. 

The door slams open and you wipe your eyes, expecting it to be Tina needing to actually do her job or Marcus wanting to check on you. It’s Carmen.

“What happened?” He hadn’t been expecting to see you so upset. He’d heard the door slam and wanted to leave it alone, but then Richie had raised his eyebrows, stopping mid-sentence.

“God, I can’t wait to hear about whatever asshole yelled at her this time,” he’d shaken his head, trying to go back to what he’d been talking to Carmy about before. One of the shelves had been knocked and two containers of flour had been completely emptied out onto the floor. They had lids on, lids with clamps on them that were meant to stop that from happening but lo and behold Fak was now mopping up something that was beginning to resemble bread dough with how much water he was trying to use. . 

“Who?” Carmy’s eyes had still been glued to the walk-in. Richie had said your name and Carmen had practically excused himself in the same breath. This time? Did you get yelled at by customers a lot?

You wipe your face, shaking your head. “Sorry, Carm. I guess I just needed a second, I’ll get back out there.”

You take a step forward and he, without meaning to, moves to block the door. You feel your heart rate climb. This was it, he was going to scream at you in the walk-in. “You’re crying.”

You can feel the tears welling up in your eyes. You didn’t want this to happen, you didn’t want to be crying in front of your boss. Especially not Carmen. He’s a lot, you know that. You’re not in the kitchen a whole lot, but when you are he’s usually not super happy. He’s a yeller, half of Chicago knows that. But he’s always kind to you, he gave you a job when you were fresh out of college in an unrelated field with no experience because he could tell how much you needed one. You often felt out of place slightly, through no fault of the other staff. They spent all shift in the kitchen together and you spent your entire shift out there in the dining room. You know they’re not having sleepovers and braiding each others’ hair in there, but your work mostly took place in a different room.

But Carmen always makes sure you get Family, that you get your break even if it’s scheduled while it’s busy and that Richie isn’t skimming your tips (he’d never, but Carmen’s caught him with his hands in the jar so often that he isn’t sure anymore). 

It really doesn’t help that he looks like that.

You’re shaking, and he worries for a second that it’s because you’re standing in the freezer, but there are tears welling in your eyes and he doesn’t want to drag you out to his office when you’re so visibly upset. “I’m sorry,” you’re shaking your head. “Please don’t fire me.”

Carmen frowns. “Why would I fire you?”

The words seem to tumblr from your mouth without your permission. “I know I’m not the best waitress, I’m sure you get lots of complaints about me and I forgot that woman’s dressing and I know nothing about kitchens but I’m trying, Carm. I promise, and I’ll do better.” You’re talking so fast that he can barely keep up. He’s still caught up on the first part. 

“Wait, wait,” he holds a hand up to stop you. “Who told you you’re not a good waitress?”

You sniff, tears fully rolling down your cheeks. Carmen knows he’s rough. He’s prone to explosions. Carmen is a hurricane, he wreaks havoc on whatever environment he’s in. He sucks in everyone else’s bullshit, swirls it around and then spits it back out, leaving whatever is left in worse condition than he found it. 

You were calm. You calmed everyone. If an asshole yelled at Carmen, or Sydney or Ebra, Richie wouldn’t even dream of going out there and yelling at the customer. Marcus made you a cake on your birthday and Sydney tries all of her newest recipes on you. 

The eye of the hurricane. 

You’re prattling at this point. “-And that time that I made that guy wait fifteen minutes for a straw, and-”

“Honey,” he doesn’t mean to, that slips out without him meaning. “You’re a great waitress, who gives a shit that guy had to wait for his fucking straw? Who cares, you’re…” he can’t think of a way to talk to you. Great feels too impersonal, wonderful feels too intimate. It’s what you are, though. “You have nothing to worry about. You’re… everyone loves you. We’re lucky to- I’m sure you could get a job at any other restaurant if you wanted. You’re not a bad waitress.”

That’s apparently the wrong thing for him to say. It only makes you cry harder. “Please don’t fire me,” you look pathetic. Crying to your boss while he fires you in the middle of the freezer. 

Carmen doesn’t let that slide for a second longer than he has to. “Why the fuck would I fire you?”

You don’t need to answer. Because I’m a bad waitress. It hangs in the air like the frosty vapor that flies from his mouth every time he takes a breath. 

“I swear to fuck, you’re a big part of the reason people come in here,” he’s not lying. He knows his name carries weight, he knows people hear “Carmen Berzatto’s restaurant” and that brings them in the door a lot of the time. He pulls out his phone, reception is shit but he’s able to google the name of the restaurant. 

He doesn’t have to scroll far down the Google reviews before he finds it. “Food was great, waitress was lovely, made us feel so welcome.” He finds another one. “Waitstaff was on top of it. Two people at surrounding tables smashed glasses and from what I saw one waitress cleaned them both up and still managed to get our appetizers out on time.” 

He goes to find another one but stops, looking back up at you. “You’re not firing me?” You take a step back, dropping your entire body so you’re sitting cross-legged on the floor. He watches you, gauging your reaction, before mirroring you. Your knees are almost touching his. 

“I’d have to be a fucking moron.”

The silence is deafening. 

“Hey,” Carmen can’t bite back the shocked laugh. “That’s… alright. Fine.”

Hearing you laugh makes relief bubbled up inside of him. 

“I should go back out there,” you nod towards the door.

Carmy shakes his head, knee nudging against yours. “Richie’s got it, Marcus can walk desserts, Syd’s on top of everything. No one’s gonna hold it against you if you stay here for a bit.”

He stands, hand brushing your shoulder as he moves towards the door. “Have you eaten today?”

You shake your head and he nods. “I’m gonna make you some pasta, okay? Richie can take over for a bit, you take your time in here I’ll be right outside, honey.” He shuts the door and your shoulder burns where he touched it. 

[makuzume]

Toge Accidentally Uses His Cursed Speech on You (Part 4)

🔅content: Light angst/light comfort; gn!reader; no pronoun mentions

🔅synopsis: It's been 2 days since you last seen Toge... How do you go about this? What are you supposed to do? You wonder how to address the situation at hand...

🔅a/n: "What happened to posting part 4 soon" I ended up scraping the entire part 4 draft and remade it because I didn't like it :'D Thank you everyone for being so patient and putting up w my bs aaa Let me know if you want to be in the tags list and enable ur tagging :3

[JJK Masterlist] [Part 1 & 2] [Part 3]

🔅Word Count: 2.2K

"...Should I... open it...?" You asked yourself quietly, looking down on your phone as you stared at the multiple notifications you received from Toge.

13 missed calls

31 new messegaes

All unopened, all unanswered.

Slowly, you hover your finger over to his chat box, however, you hesitate- quickly shutting off your phone and plopping down on the soft mattress where you sat.

While the rest of the Okkotsu family went out to watch the movies, you decided to stay in the house by yourself. "You should come...! I'm sure it will help lift your spirits." Mrs. Okkotsu offered, to which you kindly declined her offer.

You figured you needed some time to be alone for now, but the lack of presence in the house ended up cauing a deafening silence to fill the halls, creating more opportunities for you to overthink the recent events between you and Toge.

'...I wonder... what did he say...'

'...why am I so scared to read it...?'

Over the past two days, you've been comfortably staying over Yuta's family home in the city. But since Yuta wasn't there at the moment, his parents and sister have been kindly accomodating you the entire time.

You were incredibly embarassed and reluctant to stay over, afraid of becoming only a nuisance to the Okkotsu family, especially since current situation between you and Toge was not at all very dire, just an arguement between two lovers.

Fortunately, Yuta and his mother were understanding and very insistent that you were welcome for as long as you'd like. Afterall, you were also one of Yuta's closest friends.

Trying your best to not cause them too much trouble, you help out with minor chores like the dishes, setting up the table, throwing out the trash- but each time you do so, you were met with gentle scolding.

"We told you to rest! You're still very hurt!"

"No no no, you're a guest, put that down!"

"We are not letting you wash the plates. Go back to bed and lie down for a nap! We'll bring you some snacks later."

"Nonsense! You are not a burden! You are a good friend of Yuta, and he asked us to take care of you, so sit down and don't worry about us."

Though that did seem to reduce the amount of guilt you felt, you were still rather embarassed for staying over someone else's family home just to hide from an ongoing dispute with Toge. So, you figured you shouldn't overstay your welcome, at least.

You look at your phone once again, staring at Toge's contact name as you remember your last encounter with him.

Staring at the ceiling above, you allow the memories from the incident flood your mind once more- remembering the sorrow, the pain, the sadness....

The entire time you knew Toge, he had always felt like the safest person to be around with, and you trusted him more than anyone- be it about your safety or your feelings. Naturally, the shock from accidentally getting cursed would shaken you up quite a lot.

You were badly hurt, both physically and emotionally.

And even for a short moment, you even felt afraid of him for the first time.

A feeling you knew would devastate him if he knew.

As shy as you were to admit it, all you did the entire day after the incident was quiety cry inside the guest bedroom in Yuta's home.

You can say that you rather had mixed feelings about the whole thing. Not a moment has passed in which you weren't thinking about it.

At first, it was shock, then fear, followed by pain before sadness, eventually leading to worry- the feeling you were experiencing right now.

Why 'worry'? You think to yourself, curious as to why there was this sense of longing to see him despite the accident.

It was a strange feeling in your chest. Most certainly, you were still very much upset and hurt about what he had done to you, but still-

"...I wonder how he must feel right now..." You hug the pillow nearest to you closer to your chest, unable to stray away the concern you felt for him.

Perhaps it was the way he looked at you the moment he misused his speech on you. The way Toge's eyes expressed so much shock, the way his voice was filled with so much guilt and fear... You have never seen him act in such a way before, especially considering the fact that he was always the more calm and composed one between the two of you.

You couldn't get the desperate tone of his voice out of your head, and you frequently find yourself vividly remembering the panicked expression he displayed on his face.

"...He must be worried..." You whisper to the pillow you held tightly, your eyelids closing as you replay the events of the accident.

More than anyone, you understood him the most, and you knew that this must be really messing up his mind right now.

It was one of his deepest fears, hurting someome he loves unintentionally with his speech, and you knew how deep this sort of wound would cut him on the inside.

More so, there was also the fact that Toge had personally witnessed the tragic events that happened to his allies in Shibuya... not to mention the fact that he had also been heavily pinning the blame on himself for the death of innocent civilians' lives.... lives which he felt responsible of protecting, all because he led them to take shelter to the same area Sukuna had unleashed his Malevolent Shrine.

'Truly...' you thought.

'this must be really messing up his mind right now....'

You turn over to your side, eyes staring blankly into the empty air in front of you.

"...He was distant and acting different from what happened in Shibuya afterall... I know he didn't mean to hurt me..." you whispered quietly, trying to think of how to address the situation.

You sat up, your hand firmly grasping your phone, a hesitant but concerned tone evident in your voice "I... don't want to make him feel any worse than he already does..."

Without a doubt, Toge was always so good to you. So protective, so understanding, so kind, so loving...

He was always there for you at your lowest points... and you never even had the chance to return such comfort to him before, so you think to yourself:

'...it's my turn.'

Your previous attempt to aid his sorrow didn't end up so well, but that's why you were willing to try again; To try again for him.

He probably hasn't been consoled ever since the incindent in Shibuya either. You, Panda, Yuta, or even Maki hadn't heard from him the entire time, and that's considering that all of you are his closest friends.

You ponder about it, and then you realize he probably wouldn't have ended up hurting you by accident or behaving so distant towards everyone if he had just allowed himself to be comforted- to be held and be told 'it's okay.'

...And you couldn't help but want to be that person who does that for him.

The more you thought about this, the more you wanted to see him.

You already released all the shock, hurt, and sadness for the past few days through a few weeping sessions in the small guest room before, and you think it's about time to come out of hiding.

You try to gain back your composure.

"...I wonder where he is... I hope... he's not pushing himself." You glance at your wallpaper, looking at a picture of Toge holding up a silly little peace sign while he sat next to a cute little dog you randomly met on the street.

You couldn't help but chuckle softly for a moment, then, your smile slowly fades back to form a serious expression on your face.

You miss the smile in his eyes like in the photo.

The idea of him in such sadness, worry, and pain ended up hurting you just as much as well.

"...I should talk to him."

So, you unlock your phone, open messages, and look for his contact name once again.

His contact nickname and his silly little photo appear.

'Bonito Flakes'

"...There."

Just when you were about to tap his name, you paused.

"Uh... wait... what should I say...?"

You pull back your thumb from the screen, suddenly having a bit of a panic on how to address the situation.

"..How do I reach out to him...? What... did he text me..? Is he upset with me? Is he looking for me...?"

His last text was from yesterday night, so you weren't sure what should be the best mood to approach him at this moment.

Just then, as if fate had timed this moment perfectly, a notification suddenly pops up on the top of your screen.

1 new message from Bonito Flakes

You gasped, completely taken aback from seeing his name.

'Wait... I'm not ready...!!'

You panicked slightly, causing you to drop your phone on the hard wood floor by accident, a loud thump echoing throughout the room. Fortunately, the Okkotsu family still hasn't returned from their outing yet, otherwise, you'd give them another reason to be worried about you.

You sigh, picking it back up as you lightly shook your head to gain back your composure.

As you check your sceen, you see another text from Toge come in.

Then another.

And another.

It made you slightly nervous but curious as to what his multiple texts were saying right now, and it sort of made you even more worried to know what he sent.

Is he sad? Does he need you? Is he just reaching out? Is he leaving the school? Does he want to distance himself from you?

"I'll... wait a little..."

Ultimately, you decided to let him finish sending his messages before you view it.

He sent quite a handful of texts, and it took a while before the messages stopped coming in. But just to be sure, you waited for a few minutes in case he had any late follow ups.

"I'll.... wait a little more..." You whisper to yourself as you stare at the phone in front of you, hoping to view his messages during a time when he's offline- You just wanted to make sure there was enough time for you to process and react to his texts without the pressure of him waiting for your response.

But the green dot next to his profile picture was still lit up, meaning, that he would be able to immediately see your replies the moment you send it.

But you would prefer he only sees it AFTER you're done sending your responses.

Sighing heavily, you whisper once more '...I guess I'll wait again...'

You check again after a few minutes, it was still green. So you wait again.

More time had passed but still- the green dot remained.

You wait again.

It was all you could think about for the past few hours as you move back and forth from checking your phone to lying down, staring into nothing...

Untul finally, at hour three, the green dot turns dim.

And with that, you were left with no excuse to delay opening your inbox any longer. "...alright... here we go.... I guess..."

With a hefty sigh and a single tap of your finger, you open his inbox.

Your eyes widened suddenly, immediate shock at the realization.

With a quickened pace, you hurridly limped towards the nearest window, the cast on your leg creating a slight scratching sound as you drag it across the floor.

Pulling away the curtains, you scan the street below in search for the white haired boy.

You squint your eyes slightly, trying to adjust your eyes to the darkness of the night.

Then, you see him.

"He... he's still there...?"

On the opposite side of the street, there sat Toge on the small pavement across from Yuta's house.

His head rested on his arm and his head hung low, perhaps taking a bit of a nap as he waited for your reply.

A wave of guilt suddenly washes over you as you realize how long you've made him wait out in the cold for a single reply.

You text him.

Toge???? Why did you wait for me?

You look drenched, what happened???

How long have you been there???

But your messages didn't seem to get through, not showing a mark of it being delivered.

"His phone battery must've died...."

Instictively, you hurried out the room with a more detemined expression, carefully treading the stairs with your injured leg, and rushed out the door.

Unintentionally, the noise of opening the door a little too quickly echoed across the dead silent street, casuing Toge to immediately jolt himself awake.

He made eye contact with you while he remained seated across the street, shocked at your sudden appearance.

Embarassed for startling him, you slightly lose your confidence and shy away from his gaze, a small lump in your throat preventing you from voicing out any words.

Toge stood up slowly, his eyes widen but his chest beated out of nervousness.

He doesn't expect anything positve, but still, he remained hopeful, as much as he felt like he didn't deserve you.

"...um...." you started, hoping to break the akward silence that filled the air.

"...I-...."

"....."

"....p-...please, come in...."

....

[Back to JJK Masterlist] [Part 1 & 2] [Part 3] [Part 5]

a/n: So happy I finally finished this :')))))))) Shoutout to anon that poked me abt this that genuinely helped me lolol I just really needed a little push to finish this

NOTE classes are back ^^ and I'm doing some part-time comms sooo I'll be a lil busy but ofc I won't abandon this I luv this series <3

Credits to @makuzume on Tumblr || Do not steal, translate, modify, reupload my works on any platform.

tags list: @zhenyuuu @cowcreamers @mushroommorgue @yunho-leeknow @lemonnotade @exodiam @an-ever-angry-bi @cirieria @chifuyufirstwife @strxbxrrylover @sturns55

[peak-dumbass]

I know I just got done with ranting about tfp/rid2015 starscream’s character but, if you couldn’t tell by my other rid2015 posts, I’m obsessed with rid2015 bumblebee and when I tell you I love this scene of bumblebee making fun of starscream I’m not exaggerating it’s so cathartic to me

“But bumblebee is a good/hero character, why is he being so mean—” did you forget how much starscream hurt bumblebee in tfp?

He killed cliffjumper who, while probably not as close to bee as he was to arcee, was still close friends with bee

He stole the omega keys from the autobots’ base and handed them over to megatron, practically dooming Cybertron at the time to be remade in megatron’s image — of course the autobots get them back last minute, but that doesn’t change how much that loss effected all of them (evidence: optimus shouting in anger for the first and to my memory only time in the series) — including bumblebee

And his greatest offense towards bumblebee in my opinion—

DESTROYING BUMBLEBEE’S T-COG

“But it was silas and M.E.C.H. that took it in the first place—” HE DIDN’T NEED TO HELP SILAS USE IT AFTERWARDS “but Ratchet was able to fix it—” THAT DOESN’T GET RID OF THE TRAUMA THAT WHOLE EXPERIENCE CAUSED HIM

It’s also incredibly fucked once you think about it more because the t-cog is literally a cybertronian organ — while silas is at least mostly detached from how screwed this is since it’s more like taking parts from a robot than surgery to humans, starscream shouldn’t be since he’s also a cybertronian

Instead of being freaked out and recognizing how messed up silas’ actions are like any rational bot would, he helps silas make his fake-bot-that’s-using-another-bot’s-stolen-organ work by providing him with energon (the [at the time] incredibly scarce resource that helps all bots survive) and — after that plan falls through because of bumblebee finding them — he destroys the bot’s organ for no reason other than he wanted to escape and thought that was a good way to distract him

I just—I’m sorry?? I feel like bumblebee is incredibly justified for clowning on this cringefailure of a bot for what he’s done to him

And this isn’t even mentioning what he’s done against the autobots as a whole (both on and off screen) that has probably hurt bumblebee by proxy

I feel like it’d be justified if bee also killed starscream — he already got to kill the bot that destroyed his voice box, I think bee deserves another murder as a treat <3

/joking but also what if—*gets shot by tfp/rid2015 starscream fans*

[respectthepetty]

Pride Petty Watch (SOTUS) 3/5

I'm making my way through the blacklisted shows I was supposed to watch during Pride. I already watched Love in the Air but paused The Untamed so I could deal with my sworn enemy, SOTUS. I'm watching it in five parts (first, second), so now I'm starting on episode seven and have decided 1) Kongpob x M are the perfect ghost ship, 2) this show feels much older than 2016 due to the language and style, and 3) this is a story of a masochistic dom looking for a sado sub.

Since I can't remember anything about this show, I'm actually excited to see all the ways Kong seeks out punishment warmth from P'Oon in the second half of this series.

Prem and Wad aren't going to be a couple, are they? I want them to be because Prem going instantly soft after they fought another faculty together and now being worried about Wad's wounds is the whole purpose for men to fight! Punch each other, then kiss the bruises!

I have no Photoshop skills, so I would never criticize someone else's work, but there are times when I see that this show was made with a budget consisting of two pennies rubbed together, and this is one of those moments because who added those people into the scene?! And why are they layered ON TOP of each other?!

For the people who hated Tae and Mee in The Trainee and the sports day episode in The On1y One, those people would be pissed watching episode seven of SOTUS because it's focused on the hets, capturing the flag, and nothing else. Someone could've at least passed out on that field, so this could be entertaining for me and the juniors, damn.

The man who played Deer has only acted in one other show, and I'm mad about it. The fact that a senior has to be on that field to answer these ridiculous questions from the freshmen is nonsense, but at least I get to see this man with his gorgeous hair.

Arthit says everything to Kong in the gayest way possible in front of all his homies and God without any sense of irony.

And Kong matches that energy every damn time! I'm already sick of them.

Forming a circle around Arthit to say thanks is kinda creepy to me, which is why it makes perfect sense that this was Kong's idea since these two continue to declare their love for each other indirectly while making everyone within two miles witness.

But this moment reminded me of Lisa's "Rockstar" music video, so Thailand stays consistent.

Kong is begging to be punished! Asking Arthit if anyone else knows he cries and likes pink milk is not small talk, and I know Kong just wants to feel like the most special boy for knowing all of this, but I also fully believe he wants Arthit to slap him.

M came on this trip so he could make heart eyes at Kong, and I will not be convinced otherwise. If I forget May exists, my ship is untouchable. M loves Kong, and it's canon to me.

Arthit is a Ken! He made all the boys go out to the water, so he could make the girls listen to him play a song on the beach. Someone needs to ask Greta Gerwig if she has watched SOTUS. Greta, if you're in the room with us right now, blink twice.

"If I tell you to die, will you do it?" YES! What the hell do you think this kid has been trying to tell you?! He wants you to choke him? He wants you to slap him? He has been instigating a fight with you since the first day because he wants your hands on him in the most violent ways. Baby is a masochist and needs to be kept!

I stand by the claim I made in an earlier post that the crew doesn't seem to like Krist because these title cards in-between parts of the episode do him sooooo dirty. There is no need for this to be the image, but here we are. This is rude.

I could never hate M. He is so kind and so dumb. I love those qualities in men.

And I love these qualities in women! (Sidenote: Let Jan kiss more homies, GMMTV!)

GMMTV's 2024 Outing, is that you player?

Since Love Sick and Addicted Heroin have been remade, when SOTUS is remade, M and Kong should be the main couple, and May should ship them while also trying to date Prae. Friends-to-Lovers, fifteen episodes, and make New and Singto play the characters again.

This is the biggest "hell nah" from me because I would not have that many people WALKING ON ME barefoot as some form of initiation. Walking on people is reserved for sex stuff! Just walking on people to walk on people is not normal, and should stop immediately!

I can see the wheels spinning in Arthit's head, but the pieces are not connecting for him. Your man likes when you yell at him. Kong likes when you get upset at him. The kid likes pushing your buttons because then he gets all your attention. Now say it with me, "Kong is a masochist"

Kong is practically begging to be slapped, and if Arthit doesn't do it soon, I will.

This scene hit me so hard I had to pause because it woke me up like I was sleeper agent. I NOW REMEMBER THIS SHOW! Nine episodes in and I finally remember this damn show!

I am white-knuckling my way though this show now because Kong is dressed for a date, Arthit is late and looking like a mess, and Kong is telling Arthit he will do whatever Arthit wants him to, he will like anything Arthit wants him to like, and he will be anything Arthit wants him to be. I do not know how Arthit is experiencing all that Kong is throwing at him, and not realizing that Kong wants to be his pet.

"Call Me by My Name Number: A Boy's Journey to Become a Pet" Where's Mame when you need her?

And now Kong is eating a meal he didn't want, AGAIN, simply because Arthit told him to eat it! I'm not even joking anymore; this shit is kinky, and in this exact moment, I don't hate this show solely because of this reason.

Fuck going to sleep! I'm staying up and watching episode ten, NOW!

[mxtxfanatic]

Fandom Gripe #22: I wish the novel fandom would stop ascribing to Jiang Cheng things that he did not do (at least not alone) to make his character seem like some outstanding model citizen who pulled himself up by his bootstraps instead of the rotten product of wealth and nepotism that he is.

No, Jiang Cheng did not rebuild Lotus Pier on his own. In fact, Lotus Pier didn't need to be rebuilt at all because it was never destroyed. Wen Chao was using it as his supervision office, which is why Wang Lingjiao showed up in the first place:

Wang LingJiao spoke in a tender voice, “Young Master Wen, congratulations for moving into Lotus Pier.” Wen Chao, “What Lotus Pier? Change the name. Bring down any door carved with the nine-petaled lotus crest and replace them with those with the QishanWen Sect’s sun crest! JiaoJiao, come dance for me your best song!”

—Chapt. 59: Poisons, exr

If anything, any "rebuilding" that was done happened after Wei Wuxian defected, as Jiang Cheng remade Lotus Pier to be more extravagant than it originally was:

It was perhaps because too many places had been renewed. The training field was two times larger. Each new building seemed to be taller than the previous, adorned with curving roof decor. It seemed grander than before and had more splendor. But, compared to the Lotus Pier of his memories, it had changed too much. Wei WuXian felt a sense of loss from deep within. He didn’t know whether the old buildings from the past were blocked behind these impressive new buildings or if they were torn down already.

—Chapt. 85: Loyalty, exr

No, Jiang Cheng did not recruit new disciples on his own. He was recruiting on his own during the war for the 3 months that Wei Wuxian had been trapped in the Burial Mounds, as per Wang Lingjiao's musings:

...leaving only Jiang Cheng, who was younger than even Lan XiChen and was still a child born yesterday, who had nobody in his hands but still dared call himself sect leader, holding up the banner of rebellion as he recruited new disciples.

—Chapt. 60: Poisons, exr

But after Wei Wuxian returned, Wei Wuxian had a large hand in disciple recruitment, specifically because of the interest his ghost path garnered amongst cultivators at banquets where they were recruiting, such as the Phoenix Mountain Hunt:

One of the sect leaders spoke in a sour tone, “This time, Lotus Pier is really the center of the show. Almost all of the spirits and corpses were summoned to the YunmengJiang Sect’s grounds. There’d definitely be a number of cultivators interested in them.” ... Someone sneered, “Huh? Interested in them? I don’t think so. To put it simply, they’re interested in Wei WuXian, aren’t they? Didn’t the YunmengJiang Sect grow in fame during the Sunshot Campaign only because of Wei WuXian?”

—Chapt. 70: Departure, exr

Despite the above quote being gossip from jealous cultivators, we know this to be true because after Wei Wuxian defects, cultivators begin to flock to the Burial Mounds to ask to be his disciples, still:

After he found himself in the limelight during a few night-hunts, there really were quite a few people who came for him, hoping that they could be accepted by the ‘patriarch’ and become one of his disciples. The mountains that used to be so deserted suddenly became crowded. None of the fierce corpses Wei WuXian set up on patrol down the mountain would attack on their own. At most, they’d send the person flying and roar their throats out. Nobody got hurt, and so more and more people gathered down Burial Mound.

—Chapt. 75: Distance, exr

No, Jiang Cheng did not raise Jin Ling on his own. First off, Jin Ling is the heir to the Jin Clan, so him being raised wholly by Jiang Cheng would make absolutely no sense. Which is why nowhere does the novel say this happens; Jin Ling spends his time split between Lanling and Lotus Pier:

When Jin Ling was young, he was brought up by two sects. He lived at the LanlingJin Sect’s Jinlin Tower half the time, and the YunmengJiang Sect’s Lotus Pier the other half, so he should be carrying belongings from both sects.

—Chapt. 38: Grasses, exr

(However—and this is just my conjecture—I doubt the overtly homophobic and sexist Jiang Cheng would personally go about changing the diapers of a child who only knew him to be merciless and cold:

From the beginning of his memory until now, Jin Ling had never seen such a look on Jiang Cheng’s face before. This uncle of his who led the prominent YunmengJiang Sect ever since a young age had always been cold and dark. When he spoke, he was willing to neither show mercy nor do good.

—Chapt. 23: Malice, exr

Rich people have servants for a reason.)

No, Jiang Cheng does not spend his time helping the people of Yunmeng. He really does spend a good deal of his time fobbing off his duty to the people (not unusual for a large sect) in favor of hunting down and torturing people (very unusual, the reason why his citizens prefer to pray to gods) who either had the surname Wen or that he suspected of either being possessed by Wei Wuxian because they remind him of the latter, which extends to people who use his inventions:

Jiang Cheng spoke grimly, “Break his legs? Haven’t I told you? If you see this sort of evil and crooked practice, kill the cultivator and feed him to your dogs!”

—Chapt. 7: Arrogance, exr

Zidian definitely wouldn’t deceive [Jiang Cheng] or make a mistake, so he quickly calmed himself and thought, this doesn’t mean anything. I should first find an excuse to take him back and use every possible method to get information out of him. It’s impossible for him to not confess anything or give himself away. I’ve done things like this in the past anyways. After thinking it through, he made a gesture. The disciples understood his intention and came over.

—Chapt. 10: Arrogance, exr

The owner, “Young Masters, you’re not from Yunping City so you don’t know. The Jiang Sect is responsible for all of us along the Yunmeng area. The Sect Leader’s got quite a bad temper. It’s almost frightening. His subordinate’s said so a long time ago. Only one sect is in charge of such a large area. Each day, there are almost a hundred cases of small ghosts or other creatures pulling pranks on the living and all that. If every single small thing had to be dealt with immediately, would there be enough time and energy? Those that don’t kill anyone aren’t malign spirits, and we’re not supposed to disturb them with trivial matters that aren’t malign spirits.” She complained, “What is this supposed to mean? Wouldn’t it be too late if we waited until somebody’s died to find them?!” ... The owner continued, “On top of that, Lotus Pier is truly a scary place. How would anyone dare go there again?” Wei WuXian moved his gaze from Lan WangJi’s calm face with a short pause of surprise, “Lotus Pier is scary? How could Lotus Pier be scary? You’ve been there?” The owner, “I haven’t been there myself, but I know someone who went because his house was being badly haunted. But it was all bad luck. That Sect Leader Jiang was cracking a glowing whip right on the training field. The victim’s flesh and blood flew as high as his screams! A servant secretly informed him that the sect leader caught the wrong person again, that he hadn’t been in a great mood, and that he definitely shouldn’t be irritated in any way. He was so scared that he dropped off the gifts he brought and fled at once. He never dared visit again.” Wei WuXian had long since heard of how Jiang Cheng had been searching for cultivators of the ghost path who seemed like they seized another’s body, taking all of them into Lotus Pier to be tortured and questioned. The owner’s friend probably just happened to have ran into him when he was letting off steam. It wasn’t hard to imagine how hideous Jiang Cheng would’ve looked, so no wonder a normal person would make a run for it. ... The owner, “No, no. It was his misfortune. The person’s surname was Wen, and that Sect Leader Jiang’s archenemy happened to have the surname of Wen as well. He’s hating on everyone in this world whose surname is Wen. Whenever he sees one, he’d grind his teeth in hatred, wanting to skin them alive. How could he give a single friendly look to...”

—Chapt. 92: Longing, exr

The time he isn't spending hunting down people to torture, he uses to trail after Jin Ling on nighthunts to make sure nothing happens to him.

Wei WuXian, “Huh? Jiang Cheng? How did you run into him while night-hunting?” Lan SiZhui, “We invited Young Master Jin to join our night- hunt last time, so...” Wei WuXian immediately understood. One could even guess that while Lan SiZhui led the group in the night-hunt, Wen Ning naturally wouldn’t be idle either. He must’ve followed them in the dark to protect them, so that he could provide assistance when they encounter danger during the night-hunt. Jiang Cheng must’ve been sneaking behind Jin Ling as well, scared something would happen to him again.

—Chapt. 116: Banquet Extra, exr

Any other "single jiujiu!jc who don't need no man!" fanon I'm missing?

[sunnyseungup]

Skz reactions / headcanons / texts | fic recs 5

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4

Masterlist

[ updated 240726]

Sfw

Them accidentally pissing their crush off @svngiem-remade

Making up with them after a fight @blue-jisungs

Pranking them with another members sweater @silv3rswirls

Skz having their tummies’ kissed by you @svngcore

Stray Kids Most to Least: House Husbands @kiestrokes

When you have plushies @cheeseceli

You speak another language @/cheeseceli

Ribbon,Bicep,trend!! @jz12luvscl16

Nsfw

Favourite time and place to eat you out (maknae line) @becomingmina

Someone walking in on you @/luvyeni

How they are when they eat you @roseykat

Kisses @bbyquokka

Morning wood @/notsosweetchan

how often will skz and y/n have sex? @seungisms

Texts

I should call him… @skzfairyyydreamz

He accidentally spoils the proposal @sunboki

You’re on a business trip and they’re clingy little babies @giddyfatherchris

Random bf texts @pretty-blkgirl

Skz try to check up on you @thevampywolf

Can you peel an orange for me @channie-143

Skz try to flirt with you @/thevampywolf

“Skz as texts I’ve exchanged with my friends” @markiv3

Skz road trip @starrgaziinggg

Asking them if they believe in love @/thevampywolf

I’m not jealous @daaawnnn

Selling my boyfriend (smau) @luvyeni

Sending them a nude and then saying wrong person @imagine-a-life-like-this

You autocorrect “love” to “hate” on his phone @jinhyun

You got into a stranger’s car because they offered you chocolates @lixie-phoria

How skz would confess to you over text @1025flora

Random texts @cinnamostar

“Would you still love me if i was a worm?” @imagine-a-life-like-this

“Would you still love me if i was a worm?” @ft-3racha

Skz as your doordasher texts @taetr4ck

Princess treatment @wegc

What position y’all in ? @/luvyeni

Finding your tumblr account @/luvyeni

Skz ask you out on a date @/thevampywolf

Cancelling on bff!skz [valentine’s day edition] @jinnify

jealous, jealous, jealous, boy! @diddybok

STRAYKIDS FINDING OUT YOU CAN'T CUM @/luvyeni

bff skz finds out you read fan fics about them @snowyquokka

maknae line — crushing on their member @shoverse

↬"would you kiss the most beautiful person in the world for $1,000,000?" @/jinhyun

Sugar Daddy Stray Kids Hyung Line Maknae Line @thefantasyden

drunk texting stray kids @bbyquokka

"Could you pick it out of a lineup?" Hyung Line @/thefantasyden

"What position y'all in" @/thefantasyden

random skz text @/cinnamostar

Best friend Stray Kids knowing you had a bad day without you needing to tell him @bluejutdae

Random texts with BFF!SKZ Part 2 @/feelbokkie

Texting Skz “Happy Anniversary” Maknae Line @pretty-blkgirl

They dont want to be clingy @charmerchannie

'HE SAID HE LIKES CRAZY GIRLS' @/luvyeni

Easter Baskets from BF!SKZ @/feelbokkie

Drunk text with Stray Kids Maknae Line @/thefantasyden

random boyfriend texts @/thefantasyden

skz forgot your birthday @/snowyquokka

“there’s a man in my bed” @/sunboki

Jealous Stray Kids Texts @/thefantasyden

stray kids being bratty Hyung line Maknae line @crazyco0tz

"So this is how victorian men felt seeing ankles for the first time" @charmerchannie

Note: please let me know if the links are not working! I will try to fix them as soon as possible ^^

[cuubism]

Made in an Instant (2/5)

part 3 of Wish. Chapter 2: Dream's eldritch baby shower

--

Later on, Lucienne and Matthew put together a baby shower for Dream in the Dreaming. It’s very sweet. Hob invites Death, though by the time he does she seems to already know, he’s not sure how. Death brings Desire, Despair, and Delirium along with her, which Hob is a bit dubious about, but he can’t exactly tell Death what to do. Even Dream’s remade version of the Corinthian shows up, which Hob is even more dubious about.

They all meet in Fiddler’s Green, ostensibly to surprise Dream, though Hob tips him off beforehand because Dream doesn’t actually like being surprised very much. “Just pretend you weren’t expecting it,” Hob tells him. When they arrive, Dream doesn’t do a very good job of pretending, though he does seem touched. Lucienne catches Hob’s eye and gives him a little smile, and he realizes she was probably counting on him to do just that.

They set up on the grass under one of Fiddler’s Green’s large shade trees. For some unfathomable reason, the Corinthian is the one who brings cake. Hob doesn’t know who allowed him to be in charge of that.

Corinthian sets the cake on a picnic blanket. It looks extremely normal, which is only more unnerving.

“That doesn’t have eyes in it, does it?” Matthew asks skeptically from where he’s perched on Hob’s shoulder—presumably positioned there to keep Hob between himself and the Corinthian. Thanks for that, buddy.

“So what if it does?” says Corinthian. “It’s important for the baby to develop proper bloodlust.”

Seemingly unperturbed, Dream takes a slice and starts eating it with a tiny fork. Under the vanilla frosting, the cake is pure red. Hob hopes it’s just red velvet.

He’s too unnerved to eat any of it himself.

Despite the possibly cannibalistic cake, Hob is briefly hopeful that it might be a nice event. No one’s tried to kill each other in the first five minutes, so that’s a plus. Maybe things will actually be normal.

Then Desire sits down in the circle.

“Why are you here,” Dream says with open hostility, and Hob mentally braces himself.

Desire just grins at Dream toothily. “She takes after me,” they declare. “I can tell already. We may be enemies, dear brother, but I hold nothing but fondness for my little nibling. I will be Auntie and you cannot stop me.”

“Auntie?” repeats Dream with derision, but Desire does not seem put off.

“Indeed. I do believe we will be the best of friends.”

“Your influence can only be negative,” says Dream.

Desire waves a hand. “We all need negative influences in our lives. And you speak as if your influence will be any better.”

Dream’s mouth pops open in outrage, but Desire thrusts a gift into his hands. Not only did they bring a gift, Hob reflects, but it’s even wrapped. Babies make people so weird.

Dream looks at them suspiciously, then at the gift with even more suspicion, but carefully unpicks the wrapping.

Inside is a knitted baby blanket in the shape of a large red heart.

Dream stares at it while Desire grins at him. “For sweet dreams,” they say.

Hob thinks it’s meant to be at least somewhat mocking but it’s… kind of sweet, too? In Desire’s twisted way.

“Do not taunt me,” Dream says at last, glaring at Desire, and they roll their eyes.

“Can’t you accept one sincere expression of love?”

“Are you capable of sincerity?”

“Enough,” Death cuts in, and they both quiet. “I didn’t bring you to cause trouble,” she says to Desire.

“I’m not!”

Dream still looks suspicious, but when he looks down at the blanket in his hands again, Hob sees something soft flit briefly across his face. “If you are sincere,” he says, “then I thank you.”

Desire settles back, satisfied. Somehow, Hob actually believes that they genuinely want to be their child’s Auntie. He doesn’t know how that will turn out, though.

Dream sets the blanket in his lap. “Perhaps you should attend your own grandchildren before worrying about mine.”

Desire waves a hand. “Oh, we’re thick as thieves, don’t you worry. I gave Rose dating advice just the other day!”

Dream looks alarmed by that, as does Death, but before either of them can react, Delirium, who’s been bouncing in her seat, jumps forward and hands Dream her gift. “Open it! Open it open it!”

Her gift is not so much wrapped as it is… an immaterial swirling ball of sparkles. Dream takes it, and it hovers in his hands, then explodes in a shower of light.

Inside is a mobile hung with glittery fish, to put above the crib. Only it’s not really a mobile, because the fish aren’t actually attached to any wires. They just hover in the air, swimming around each other in mesmerizing circular patterns. Hob has to admit that even to his adult eyes, it’s… pretty hypnotizing. Almost trance-inducing.

“I made it!” Delirium says.

Unlike with Desire, Dream has no cutting words for Delirium. “Thank you, little sister,” he says solemnly. He sets it before him, and the fish dart up to spiral around his head, then return to their meditative spin. “You must come to visit, and set it above her crib.”

Delirium claps her hands in delight. “Babies have such fun imaginations!” she says. “Even I can feel them.” She throws her arms around Dream in a bear hug. He tolerates it in good humor, but Hob sees his tiny smile over her shoulder.

Everyone else has brought gifts for Dream too. He seems nervous about it, not being used to receiving nice things. Hob urges Lucienne to go next as he knows she’ll have been sensible about it—God only knows what Corinthian’s picked out. Hopefully just the bloody cake.

Lucienne gives Dream a newborn-sized onesie that says future librarian. Dream raises an eyebrow. “Claiming my daughter as your apprentice already?”

She smiles. “More an offer of babysitting.”

Lucienne is one of the few people in Dream’s vicinity that Hob thinks is actually capable of taking care of an infant. Everybody else in the Dreaming… he’s really not so sure.

“I thank you, Lucienne,” Dream says, and clasps her hands with a small, but warm smile.

Then Despair, who’s been keeping to herself so far, passes Dream a small package wrapped in newspaper. Inside is what seems to be a plastic teething toy shaped like her hook-and-ring sigil—though with the sharp hook suitably blunted.

Hob’s immediate first thought is will the baby even have teeth, which is insane and makes him wonder how prepared he actually is for any of this. But before he can ponder it more, Despair says, “When she is hurting, I can ease it.”

Hob’s been a bit leery of letting Despair near the baby to begin with. But from what Dream has said in the past, when she isn’t being pulled into her twin’s schemes Despair can be the kindest of the Endless. Hob is still wary of that form of kindness, especially when it comes to Dream himself. But he thinks perhaps he can see what Dream means.

Matthew gives Dream the book Quantum Physics for Babies, which he seems to have procured from a Waking world bookstore despite there most definitely being a copy in the Dreaming library somewhere. “Listen,” he says, “I gotta give the kid a better start in life than I had. Speaking of which, should we set up a college fund?”

“Hob can afford higher education,” Dream says placidly.

“Great,” Hob complains, “just put all the childcare costs on me, then.”

“S’what you get for knocking up a guy who’s got no money,” Matthew says, then immediately croaks in regret for having said that out loud, hopping several feet away from Dream.

Dream just gives him a look but doesn’t comment. It’s not like Matthew’s wrong, after all.

Fiddler’s Green crafts a flower crown of budding blossoms, and floats it down onto Dream’s head, which makes him smile faintly, touching the soft petals. Corinthian gives him a stuffed toy cat with a baby-sized knife stashed in the belly; apparently, it can be eviscerated endless times and will just repair itself. Hob had been expecting body parts so he can’t complain, really. An indestructible toy might actually come in handy.

Death doesn’t have a physical gift for Dream. Instead she leans in close to his side and whispers something in his ear. When she finishes speaking, Dream is close to tears. And Hob thinks he knows what she’s said.

It’s something he hadn’t even considered. Dream had said the baby wasn’t Endless, but Hob had still been assuming she was like, kind of Endless, some sort of ethereal nonhuman creature. To think he was wrong makes his stomach drop; he nearly grasps onto Dream’s arm for balance before the past few seconds catch up to him and he remembers what Death said. Presumably said. Christ, not even born and the baby’s already giving him a heart attack.

“I thank you, my sister,” Dream says, with more than his usual solemnity, clearly—to Hob’s eyes anyway—blinking those burgeoning tears back. Hob finds his hand and squeezes it, close to tears himself.

“You know I just want you to be happy, Dream,” Death says, cheery despite the heavy topic. Not so heavy for her, though, Hob supposes.

“I do.” Dream almost seems to believe it.

Then, Death hands him a package wrapped in brown paper. Dream reads the label, frowning. Then just stares at it, for at least a full minute.

“Dream?” Hob asks tentatively.

Dream picks open the wrapping on the package and opens the box. He lifts out a child’s art kit, finger paints and crayons and so on. He doesn’t say anything.

Desire looks pale. “Is that from—?”

“Brother!” Delirium squeals, and snatches not the gift itself, but the wrapping from Dream’s hands. She turns it over, lifts it above her head to look at the underside, tilting her head and frowning. “No address.”

“Where did you get this?” Dream demands of Death.

“It was left on the doorstep, so to speak,” Death says, then doesn’t elaborate further.

Hob almost doesn’t want to ask, given their reactions, but he’s dying with curiosity. “Who is it from, then?”

“Our brother,” Dream says. It might as well be a sentence to death for the way he intones it.

Oh. Hob has heard about this. Or at least, he’s heard Dream say there are seven Endless and then only talk about six. He’s heard the space around that name.

“He’s not coming, though,” says Despair, twisting the lank strands of her hair between her fingers.

“I don’t think so,” says Death.

“Why would he do this?” Desire demands. “If you’re gonna stay away then just stay away.”

“But family,” says Delirium. She’s still holding the crumpled gift wrapping in despondent hands.

Desire snorts. “What family?”

“I’m sure he has his reasons,” Death says, defusing the argument. “Whatever they may be, he clearly wants to show he cares. I think we should leave it at that.”

Neither Desire nor Delirium look like they want to ‘leave it at that,’ but Delirium only fidgets nervously and Desire huffs, rolling their eyes, when Death casts them a look, but ultimately stays quiet. Meanwhile Dream has set the art kit down on the grass before him and is studying it, brow pinched. Hob rests a hand on his lower back.

“We will not solve the matter now,” Dream finally says.

The art kit vanishes, whisked away by dream sand to Dream’s chambers, or possibly deposited somewhere in Hob’s flat, it’s hard to be certain. Hob’s unsure whether it will make another appearance. Dream doesn’t seem like he’s quite ready to deal with that yet, and knowing him, their daughter will be as old as Hob before he is.

Gradually, the tension dissipates. Delirium folds the wrapping paper into a flower and tucks it behind her ear. Desire pulls the entire rest of the cake towards themself and starts picking at the frosting with their fingers. Despair joins in soon after.

Lucienne gathers herself and tries to rally them all. “Any other gifts?” she says.

“Hob’s gift! Hob’s gift!” Delirium chants.

Indeed, Hob is the only one left who hasn’t gone. Before he can even speak, Desire smiles slyly. “Hob doesn’t need a gift. He already gave Dream his sperm.”

“Desire!” Dream and Death say simultaneously.

“Wrow,” drawls Corinthian. “Let’s hear more about that.”

“Let’s not.” Lucienne glares at Corinthian. How she survives this on a daily basis, Hob really doesn’t know.

“Let’s not,” he agrees, and Corinthian grins at him with all three of his mouths. Hob shudders, but ignores the nightmare in favor of pulling a gift box from the fabric of the Dreaming.

He’s gotten better at manipulating the Dreaming. He’s pretty sure he even managed to hide his gift from Dream despite it being in the Dreaming the whole time and made of dream stuff.

Indeed, Dream takes the box, eyes widening in surprise as touch reveals its origins. He opens it and takes out a small rectangle, somewhat akin to a mobile phone in appearance. He tilts his head, studying it. Hob taps it, and the screen lights up, showing a camera view of the spare room in Hob’s flat they’d converted into a nursery.

“It’s a baby monitor,” he explains. “Has sound, too.”

Hob knows plenty well that, while he might be able to convince Dream to take some time off after the baby is born, Dream isn’t going to be able to just be with them all the time, even if he wants to. His job is too all-encompassing and too important. And Dream won’t complain about it, because he never does, but he will be sad about it, and he will worry about his baby when he’s not there. Hob just knows it.

Hence, the dream baby monitor that’s connected to the Waking world. Dream can, of course, look in on Hob via dreams if he needs to, or send Matthew to the Waking to be his eyes from afar, but he’s not omniscient, he can’t just know what’s going on in their flat. Except now he can.

“Getting it to connect to the one in my flat was the tricky bit, but I think I’ve managed it,” he says, and Dream turns to look at him.

“You made this?” he says.

Hob scratches the back of his neck. “Well, the Dreaming was inclined to help, I think.”

Lucienne is smiling. Death, too. Dream just keeps staring at him, perplexed, or surprised, Hob’s not sure.

He nudges Dream in the side. “I wanted you to be able to see her.”

“To see her,” Dream echoes. He looks again at the screen of the baby monitor. Touches the dream-glass with a light fingertip. His eyes shine, but he doesn’t cry—he never does in front of his subjects, and rarely does even in front of Hob. Hob rubs his back.

“Thank you,” Dream finally says, quietly, and tucks the baby monitor carefully into the inner infinity of his coat. “You have become quite adept at dreaming, it seems.”

Then he lifts Hob’s hand to his mouth and kisses his palm.

Delirium makes a squealing, cooing sound. So does Corinthian, but mockingly. Hob’s pretty sure he hears Desire gag.

But as usual, he only has eyes for Dream, and cradles his cheek in his palm, thumbing over the corner of his mouth. Dream’s eyes hold promises for later that needn’t be spoken in present company. But above all is the love there, the devotion, the promise that is the two of them. 

“Can we please open the wine now?” Desire begs, and the tension is broken, but Hob catches Dream’s gaze intermittently throughout the rest of the afternoon, and he knows what he sees there, subtle though it is. It’s happiness.

“He loved it,” Hob tells Lucienne later, when the group’s mostly dispersed.

She smiles, quietly pleased. “I know.”

[nightmanatee]

reasons why it might be safi all along PART 2

part 1 is here

or why the final choice to "accept" is the only correct one (for max at least).

i have a few things to talk about: safi's threat (talked a bit about it in part 1 addition) and what she might do with it later and what i think might (should) happen in DE2. i only talk about bae timeline bc i've played in that timeline but i'm pretty sure it applies to bay as well (replace chloe with joyce/warren/kate/victoria).

part 1 (again). she wanted to threaten max.

if you look closely at safi's pattern with gwen and lucas you can clearly see that she can do a lot of things bc of the book cancelation and considering that max has been in her life during this time in the end of ep3 safi thinks that max was responsible for it as well. she's had 2 chances to threaten max:

once where she didn't know max had powers:

ngl pretty sure safi was gonna say something along the lines of "that's why she left you - bc you're fucked up and evil and ready to mess up with your friend's book deal for a little "fame" caledon can offer you" had max not fallen from that place.

and once - when she knew max had powers.

"how best to hurt lucas" and it's her literally messing up with a KID who had nothing to do with that. but what does safi have against max when she WILL hurt her?

part 2 (again). "how best to hurt max caulfield"

wait will? yes will. bc someone did end up lying to her and last time it happened the other person got shot (and it was her own mother!!)

she has 1. max's memories box with lots of info on arcadia bay, max's parents and CHLOE+the fact that chloe and max were impersonating pirates as kids (important for later). AND WITH A BREAK UP LETTER.

2. this photo of chloe and max being very close (is it really a coincidence that they've remade this pic to look more intimate?)

3. THE PICTURE IN A WALLET that will tell safi who to look for in max's house

4. potentially! diary entries (they're different from timeline to timeline or at least should be bc max didn't write about her powers here but these are same in 2 timelines):

5. max's own words

so ugh this ex-friend of hers who hurt her by not agreeing with her and decided to stay with others has ugh photos, diary entries (written to someone as if they're unsent letters) and stuff about some girl who max even mentions in her confession about powers. someone who made her stop using her powers for YEARS before getting into caledon? ugh i wonder what she's gonna do with this info...

part 3 (again). safi the investigator.

okay. so. safi's turned into present day max. unless max will try to change her hair style/hair color/do some piercings to alter her look so that everyone can know it's safi and not her doing this stuff and considering that safi can "act" as someone else as well she can do whatever she wants to hurt max's reputation or meet someone who knows max?

and oh. safi knows about chloe. she knows she's max's old friend/ex who max sacrificed the whole town for. she's the most important person in max's life and if safi wants to hurt max this is the person she should be looking for. but how?

oh easily. not only does max have no friends but she has a memory box with her and chloe with lot's of polaroids and pirate themed kids stuff. she knows that chloe's name is chloe and what she looks like. so who is this _CaptainChloe_ girl who max follows on social media?

the girl that so stupidly (i can't blame her she doesn't know that a fucking shapeshifter is after her) left the info for where to look for her in her posts? and who also comments under another person who max follows??

i wonder if one brokenhearted shapeshifter would want to meet a close... friend of a person who betrayed her when she was in the most vulnerable state considering how she's messed up with people for less and without evidence of them being guilty.

so yeah if done right max will wish she accepted that thing with safi.

[the-californicationist]

Scenario for the gif game 😊

okay, this was a challenge! it took me a while to think of a scenario, but here's what i came up with. i hope it's okay! thanks so much for the ask, my friend!! <3

TW: ghoap written by someone who doesnt write ghoap (sorry, im trying to get better!), references to anal sex, masturbation, smoking

Menthols

Simon had been out on a mission for nearly two weeks, and Johnny was stuck in their apartment, losing his mind. He’d binged three Netflix series, all absolute shite, and finished the novel he’d been putting off for months. The house was spotlessly clean, and his hands had angry calluses from how often he had used the gym to blow off some steam. 

Nights were the worst. Johnny would lay, spread-eagle, legs wide with his ass in the air, and his mind would wander. He could almost smell Simon’s body as his scent lingered on his pillow, and he crushed it to his nose, trying his damnedest to get to his scent. 

Johnny’s cock twitched, thinking about all of the nights he’d laid here like this, prone, keening like a whore underneath Simon’s heavy thrusts. Shameless and desperate, he allowed his hips to rock into the mattress, his prick humping lewdly across their sheets, feeling the way his foreskin threatened to slip over his swelling cockhead with each vicious, teasing movement. He squeezed his thighs tight, hips popping forward, showing himself little mercy, the pillow still crammed into his face, muffling his broken whimpers. 

Each rushing thrust was like crackling, sparking torture. He was so close, but it wasn’t enough. He needed more.

He could use his hand, or…

Johnny paused his efforts, digging around in Simon’s nightstand, finding his stache. The little white box of menthol cigarettes seemed to taunt him, laughing at his pitiful need. Then, like some sort of fiend, Johnny held the half-used pack to his nose and let his hips grind into the bed once more. 

With his nose buried in the pack of menthols, the minty smell of stale tobacco filled his mind with memories. Like Pavlov’s faithful dog, he was flung backwards in time to all of the nights, after Simon had made a mess of his holes, stretching him cruelly, making his muscles ache with his girth, he would light a cigarette and come down from their high together, letting the smoke billow and curl through the open window. Meanwhile, he’d play inside of his sated sergeant, flexing his thick fingers into Johnny’s well-used hole, smearing his own come along his walls, making wet little circles with his fingertip. 

As Johnny inhaled again, he began to come. His hands hadn’t even made it to his shaft, and he was spilling his seed like a teenager, rattling through a fierce orgasm just at the memory of Simon’s affection. The mint and the harsh nicotine spurred him on like a bull as he bucked into the wet sheets, and he could feel his own spend swiping across his belly, dampening his hair and ruining the middle of the bed. 

He rolled over, panting, and suddenly brightly aware of what he’d done, more than a bit embarrassed. Johnny felt like he was his own voyeur, judging himself for being so thirsty for his partner that he’d sniffed a pack of old cigarettes like a damn bloodhound. 

“Fuck me…” He lamented, stripping the sheets and avoiding looking at himself in the mirror. 

After he remade the bed, he sat on the edge of the mattress and looked into the pack of smokes once more, studying them as they stood up in the pack, all in a jumbled group. Just as he was about to toss them back in the drawer, he heard the keys jangle in the old lock of their front door, getting stuck in the strike like they always did. 

He jumped up, thankful that he’d at least thrown on a pair of joggers after he’d cleaned his mess, and rushed to meet Simon coming through the door. 

“Si! You’re back,” Johnny smiled, going in for a hug. 

Still in his mask, the helmet of his motorcycle in his fist, Simon stopped him. 

“What’re those?”

The enormous Brit’s brown eyes peered down at Johnny’s hand. He was still clutching the menthols.

“What? Och, your smokes. I was just —”

“Are you pickin’ up my habit, love?” Simon’s voice was dark, and it made Johnny’s hair stand on end. He’d heard that voice in the field, but never in their peaceful home.

“Well, no. But I –”

Before Johnny could answer him, Simon’s gaze twisted into a fearsome rage, snatching the pack from his hands and launching it through the den. It fell with a soft slap against the wood floor, lost somewhere behind the couch.

“Don’t you dare start,” Simon crossed the space between them, clutching his lover by the nape of his neck, towering over him, pulling up the bottom half of his mask, “Don’t… I don’t want to lose the way you taste.”

Johnny was stunned by his aggression, and he tumbled into a sort of pliant submission as Simon claimed his mouth, pressing his warm, pink tongue through his lips and down his throat, forcing his jaw to open to take more and more of his kiss. 

It was everything Johnny needed. The minty flavor mixed with Simon’s own unique, human musk went straight to his core. Johnny’s cock seemed to have forgotten its recent release, and it was preparing for round two, eager to be plunged into whatever part of Simon he’d be given, hungry for that sacred gift. 

Simon pulled away, ripping his mask all the way off, throwing it down on the floor with his other gear, staring at Johnny in disbelief,

“You didn’t smoke?”

“No, you mad bastard,” Johnny smiled, shaking his head, “I just… I needed you, and… uh…”

Simon’s lips curled into a sultry grin, pressing his body against him, tugging playfully at the handful of mohawk he was still grabbing,

“Johnny… were you havin’ a wank with those?”

Johnny felt the flush rise into his cheeks, staining them red. Worse still, his cock jerked in his pants, too obvious to hide, eager at the thought of living out his fantasy in real life. He didn’t answer him. He couldn’t think of the words. His mind and his body were slipping out of his control.

Simon chuckled in a deep, warm rumble, his hands digging into Johnny’s elastic waistband, sliding over his dripping rod. He pumped him once, twice, watching as his sergeant’s eyes fluttered closed from the pleasure, so sensitive from his recent release. 

“You needy little slag. Come show me how much you missed me.”

[frigidpaws]

why meadowlark is literally a masterpiece

tl;dr :: me yapping about how @yaelokre is amazing at music and you should go follow them :3 [not forcing you,, haha]

and to keath, if you didnt want to be tagged that's perfectly okay and i apologize :~) you can skip to the ending section for more info haga

everything under the cut

alright !! thank you for taking the time to read my silly recommendation :D before we begin i'd just like to say i really hope this doesn't come off as weird at all, i just really love meadowlark :3

and some of this might be wrong !! PLEASE correct me if i said anything incorrect !

so, what's meadowlark?

meadowlark is the world in which four children sing tales of fables to all that will hear them. they tell stories of the harkers, who are "concepts" in a way. they are the storyteller, the bell-ringer, the croon and the enkindled. yaelokre is the name of the creator and story as a whole, and the author and singer behind the story is known as Keath, a splendidly talented artist who truly loves their work.

the lark

the lark consists of the aforementioned children:

cole (represents the storyteller)

clémentne/clémentine/clémmie (represents the bell-ringer)

perrine (represents the croon)

kingsley (represents the enkindled)

all of the children are genderless, and do not use gendered terms. they all use they/it pronouns and it is best to respect yaelokre's wishes for their characters. i do believe cole and clémentine are dating (or something romantic), as there is official art of them kissing, though i don't know the details...

the young minstrels are good friends and enjoy preforming their songs together. each one has a distinct voice, design, and personality traits. each one of them is crafted so beautifully, you can see yaelokre put work into them :D

the songs

the tales of meadowlark are told through songs, and goodness, are they amazing. i have never reacted so positively to a song myself, but bird cage blue and yellow makes me so happy :) i do hope yaelokre knows that at least one person enjoys their music as much as i <3

here are the songs !!:

hayfields

harpy hare

hartebeest

and the hound

neath the grove is a heart

songs of origin

my farewell to the fields

bird cage blue and yellow

there is another song, cole's response, but i can't find it anywhere, nor have i heard it. i believe it's being remade, or something along those lines.

closing statements !!

i hope this convinces at least one person to listen to and support yaelokre's works :3

again: i do not wish to cross any boundaries with this post, and i will take it down per the request of keath if they so wish. i am quite anxious of hurting others, so communication is best for me...

i am deeply excited when i like something, music or other, so i just want to share yaelokre with more people :~) so if that makes them uncomfortable, i apologize. i chose to tag them because i feel they may like knowing someone really appreciates their work? i don't know. i don't know them personally so take that with a grain of salt.

thank you, yaelokre, for being cool :D

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Lilia Vanrouge Dorm Uniform Voice Lines

When Summoned: I'm not very good at finding people. Will you help me?

Summon Line: How wonderful it is that you've called upon me. I'll do my best to not bring shame to the Diasomnia name.

Groooovy!!: It's amazing how I've made schoolmates at this age... Life sure is strange.

Home: I look cool, don't you think?

Home Idle 1: This uniform represents my dormitory, yes? So I must wear it with panache! But it's all about time, place, and occasion.

Home Idle 2: You want to come over to Diasomnia? Very well. If Sebek gives you any grief, you can just ignore him.

Home Idle 3: Ramshackle may be quite old, but the air isn't stale whatsoever. I feel rather at home here.

Home Idle - Login: I should act like a proper Vice Dorm Leader from time to time. Kufufu, what do you think? Do I not exude dignified aura?

Home Idle - Groovy: Are you used to this school, now? If there's anything you need, I'll listen to your woes.

Home Tap 1: I've traveled around the world, and every single place was absolutely spectacular. At least, that's how I felt.

Home Tap 2: My tights have a thorn pattern, as an homage to the Thorn Fairy. Isn't it snazzy?

Home Tap 3: My age? Let's see, I guess I'm somewhere between 10 and 1000 years old.

Home Tap 4: I found long pants to be a nuisance, so I cut them off myself. You can say I remade them.

Home Tap 5: Kufufu... Are you fully prepared to be poked back, then?

Home Tap - Groovy: The world you come from is somewhere I have never been. I would love to see it someday.

Duo: [LILIA]: Let's see, time to show Malleus how it's done. [MALLEUS]: Show me what you can do, Lilia

Requested by Anonymous.

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

Do you think this Carolina Herrera rewear is her attempt at a revenge dress moment?

Honestly, I’m not even sure it’s a rewear.

The bodice is completely identical, yes, but that is a completely different skirt - different shape, different fit, different style, different construction. I’m no seamstress (the best I can do is patching rips and hemming my own pants) but I think going from a voluminous ball gown skirt to a fitted sheath skirt means the whole dress has to be taken apart and the skirt entirely remade because that’s a ton of excess fabric to remove. Unless the ball gown was some kind of detachable overskirt, like this. (But I don’t think it is because it’d be a little noticeable, at least in the belt/waist area where it attaches and I don’t see anything. Plus I remember a snippet from the docuseries about Harry joking Meghan had 2 or 3 people under her dress to fit it and if it genuinely was a detachable overskirt, then they’d have simply just removed it for the fitting.)

Remember, Meghan is so lazy (or cheap) that she can’t even get her trousers tailored to fit. She did a whole PR thing just this summer about how she can’t tailor her clothes because they’re from small brands.

I’m not even sure she purchased the Herrera gown in the first place. Most celebs will borrow gowns from designers, which are temporarily tailored to fit them by the designer’s own staff, wear it to the red carpet event, and then it’s promptly returned the next day. I have no idea if that’s what Meghan did or if she actually purchased the gown (I didn’t watch the docuseries so I don’t know if she discussed buying it) but since Meghan has huge dreams of being just like A-list Hollywood and has always demanded to be treated just like that, I’ve been assuming she always borrows her clothes under that kind of a deal for merching.

Anyway. Just strikes me as a bit weird that everyone’s claiming it’s a rewear just because it has an identical bodice and an identical slit.

Edit: I just looked up the original Herrera gown from 2021 and it actually did have the detachable overskirt. So I stand corrected here, but I’m going to leave all this in anyway because I’m still really confused that if it was a detachable skirt, then why the hell were the Herrera seamstresses crawling around under the skirt instead of just, y’know, taking it off? (Perhaps Meghan had them sew the overskirt to the dress and then later had it removed? I’m spending way too much time thinking about this.)

Going back to anon’s question. If this is her attempt at a revenge dress, holy fracking hell, Batman, did she choose the wrong venue. It’s a charity for a children’s hospital. There were kids there. You don’t go to a children’s charity with your tits out, a slit up to there, and sex hair! You save that for a fashion gala or an awards show! (But since Meghan isn’t getting invited to those kinds of events, I guess she decided she had to make do.)

To be honest, it feels more “anything you can do I can do better” than a revenge dress. Harry did an event with sick kids and got some nice coverage, so now Meghan did an event with sick kids and hopes to get nice coverage.

That said, I can see how it’d be a revenge dress. Harry just extended his trip by at least another week, he was kissy with the blonde from WellChild, and the CDAN gossip is that he’s ignoring her calls and messages. But it’s really the wrong time and place to throw on a revenge dress. Leave the children’s charities out of it. And wash your hair.

[handers-time]

Handers Gift Exchange 2024 Round-up! 

This year's Handers Gift Exchange has officially come to a close!

We'd like to give a huge thank you and shoutout to all 20 of our participants this year. Congratulations to you all, for doing so well creating beautiful works for your giftees.

On behalf of the mods ( @dismalzelenka, @un-shit-yourself, @storybookhawke, and @hollyand-writes ), thank you to everyone who remains in the Handers fandom—in addition to authors and artists, it also includes readers, commenters, serial kudosers, and avid rebloggers! We appreciate all the love, enthusiasm, support, and cheerleading everyone did throughout this event. Everyone involved keeps the love of the ship alive and well even thirteen years after the game came out.

If you participated in this event, we ask that you please leave a comment on the gift you received, at least three lines in length! Participation goes both ways, so please give some praise and adoration to the person who devoted their time and energy to create a gift for you.

You can view the blog's tag for this event here, and the AO3 collection here, but below is a compiled list of all the amazing gifts shared over the course of this exchange. Please mind the tags and ratings as you go through them!

Invitations by replicatortrash for ghostbunny M!Handers | Explicit |

Summary: Garrett Hawke has been trying to open his home to Anders for weeks and it's been slow going. Is he keeping distance because of something from his past, or because Garrett is a vampire... or is there something else going on Garrett hasn't considered?

Mélange by dismalzelenka for Sulkyvalkyrie F!Handers | Explicit |

Summary: “I want Justice involved.” It was a marvel, Anders thought, how four words flipped his entire world on its head. “You what?” Hawke tilted her head, catlike curiosity peppered across her face. “Justice,” she repeated. “I want him involved.” In which Hawke confesses some secrets, and Anders and Justice both learn there is far more to Hawke than meets the eye.

The Short Straw by autumninfall for DemonicPersephone F!Handers | Mature |

Summary: A quick way to earn some coin while fleeing the Templars of Kirkwall. A dragon up in the mountains. Surely nothing will go wrong, right?

at the end of the world by PhantomsLost for barbex F!Handers | Teen |

Summary: “Hawke, no.” She shook her head and took a step back, both hands still gripping her staff tight. “You and I both know we don’t have a better option.” Tipping her head slightly in the direction of the looming Nightmare, she added, “Go. I’ve got this.”

Broken, yet Remade by Actually_An_Insane_Fangirl for PhantomsLost F!Handers | Teen |

Summary: Hawke may be broken, but that doesn't mean she cannot be remade with the gentle hands of a healer.

Lunacy by Sulkyvalkyrie for GhostGarrison M!Handers | Explicit |

Summary: Hawke wanted to wait another night, but Anders can't stop worrying about him...

Looking the Part by acesdesire M!Handers | Teen |

Summary: While visiting Chateau Haine, Hawke finds himself enjoying the party more than expected, especially with Anders looking so dashing in his formal wear. Infiltration can wait (even if Tallis might have other plans). He would much rather indulge in this rare and beautiful moment.

Some Guys Have All the Luck by barbex for dismalzelenka M!Handers | Explicit |

Summary: Watching Anders fight, powerful, controlled, turns Hawke on like nothing else. That's a man he wants to get on his knees for. And more.

Hunting by DemonicPersephone for Actually_An_Insane_Fangirl F!Handers | Explicit |

Summary: Nothing like a near death experience to make romance bloom <3

Chasing the Light by leonidskies for SalsedinePicta M!Handers | Teen |

Summary: Anders is having a bad day. Hawke, forever down bad, refuses to let it go.

Hurt Less by ghostbunny for PorlPoint M!Handers | Mature |

Summary: After coming close to killing the mage girl, Ella, Anders is in a bad way, consumed by guilt and shame and beginning to spiral. Hawke attempts to help him through it, while dealing with some of his own insecurities.

The One That Didn't Get Away by FactoryKat for winebearcat M!Handers | G |

Summary: Of all the things that could have happened to newcomer Garrett Hawke after moving to Kirkwall, picking up a date outside of a walk-in clinic wasn't exactly on his predictions list.

Healing the Healer by PorlPoint M!Handers | Teen |

Summary: Anders is seriously injured and out of mana, with only Hawke there to heal him before it's too late.

Rose Cottage by winebearcat for leonidskies M!Handers | Mature |

Summary: Anders reaches his 50th Name Day. He never expected to make it past 30, let alone have his happy ending.

ART: storybookhawke's piece for autumninfall M!Handers | G |

ART: notomys-mordax-blog's piece for ocean-in-my-rebel-soul M!Handers | G |

ART: salsedinepicta's piece for notomys-mordax-blog M!Handers | G |

ART: kittyopera's piece for acesdesire M!Handers | G |

ART: gevascloset's piece for factorykat M!Handers | G |

ART: moosu's piece for kittyoperas M!Handers | G |

[dapper-lil-catgirl]

ever feel sad about the abhorrent state of the gaming industry resulting in franchises or game companies with a lot of success and promise dying with a whimper. Stuff like arkane studios, who had some of the best modern immersive sims of all time, dropping a shitfest of a game and so many of the employees quitting. We will never have another dishonored or prey. Stuff like wolfenstein who had returned to its peak absolutely shitting itself to death with young blood in a game that broke all of the style of the previous ones and built with nothing on an awfull gameplay loop The fallout series is becoming a parody of itself. Fallout 76 was a fucking scam. We got older examples like dead space 3 being utterly counter to the previous games and shitting on its own legacy. it had a fucking love triangle on it. and literaly only is making a comeback bc it remade the good original first game Payday 3 tried basicaly nothing new and generaly just wanted to be the same as the previous one, with a fresh coat of paint that really doesnt shine brightly enough. With less content than the previous one, inherently unoriginal. and uninteresting (i cant fucking believe they didnt make a heist game in the dystopic future where you kill robocops. jesus fuck what a wasted oportunity) or even my least favorite case, borderlands games, which literaly is were best looter shooter in a genre thats pretty damn empty, utterly destroyed every aspect of its universe with god awfull writing and flanderization of the setting and its characters, there is nothing to look forward to about the series and my goodness its a dissapointment. Like, this is just a few examples off the top of my head. but what the hell, man. Anyways, there's a lot of really good games out there, specialy on the indie scene; im having a real good time with them, i just wanteded to highlight a couple of fucked up cases i thought of. sheesh the industry is odd.