#i release you

[vizthedatum]

I released you.

Today was one of the first mornings that I didn’t wake up thinking about you.

I broke up with you in my mind last night - and not out of a lack of love, but out of an overflow of love for myself.

I told you that I no longer want to entertain the thought of being in love with a figment of my imagination - you aren’t real, and I am. I’m the real one.

It’s not even just a manifestation thing - I will and still do have hopes, dreams, and desires but those are all rooted in my sense of reality.

You were none of those. You were a fictional fantasy I clung on to so I could cope with my “miserable life.”

Talking with you gave me moments of ephemeral peace punctuated with heavy moments of lust that made me feel both connected to my body and completely detached from it all at the same time. It was an addiction.

And I knew it was emotionally devastating for me - you in reality were not the you in my dreams at all. You don’t exist. You aren’t in my life in any capacity, so why do I hold on?

My life isn’t so miserable, at least not anymore. I am beginning to view it in a different way.

I am learning how to love myself more and more. I’m learning how to be more present. I’m learning how to experience the ups and downs, to feel all of it.

I don’t want you, any version of you, if you’re a distraction. I often told myself that I would only accept you in my life if you “came correct” (colloquially).

But you have to come correct in my mind too.

[timelives]

I alchemise these thoughts,

my desires turn to empower

my pain turns to softness

my grief turns to gratitude.

Bittersweet is I

[soulinkpoetry]

“Letting go is an emotional survival technique that everybody should learn. The paradox of heartbreak is that the negative emotions cause you to emotionally clench around the memory of the lost object and you cannot let go of something that you’re simultaneously clinging to. So the trick to letting go depends on cultivating, gentle, positive emotions, relative to the lost object, which allow you to relax and release.”

- Orion Taraban Psychology

How to let go of someone:The trick of releasing someone from your heart.”

Source: YouTube

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[himero-love]

“how could you not know something was wrong earlier??”

*tells me that they worship me & love me so deeply* *chooses furniture & house decor with me the day before our breakup & lets me place a $300 order for our shared room* *agrees that we should “stay strong, focus on our love together as a team” against a potentially scary law situation* *talked about saving up enough money to go to julian or big bear together & that i had to “just listen to them abt money decisions & we can go :)” the day before they broke up with me* *not tell me that them going to the psych ward was dependent on me* *talks about how stable our relationship had grown to be* *invites me to join them for christmas AGAIN THE DAY BEFORE*

& they kept asking me why i couldn’t see it coming & couldn’t accept it so easily. they hid their hurt from me months past AND BROKE MY TRUST MONTHS AGO AND I TRIED SO HARD TO REGAIN IT IN THEM BECAUSE THEY SAID EVERYTHING WAS OKAY ONLY TO BLAME IT BACK ON ME. THEY SAID THEY WOULDNT TURN THEIR WORDS ON ME AND MADE A PROMISE THEY WOULDNT AND THEN THEY LITERALLY DID. WHEN I MADE SURE TO MAKE IT CLEAR TO THEM & TOLD MY CLOSE OTHERS SO THEY COULD KEEP AN EYE ON HOW THINGS PLAYED OUT & THEY SAID THEY WOULDNT PUT IT ON ME AND THEY DID. THEY TOLD ME I WAS THE MANIPULATIVE ONE.

I’m not even sad right now, or angry or ANYTHING, but god will i remember that it’s a testament to my strength & how GODDAMN hard I’ve worked that I’m okay. I let someone who gaslit me into my life so deeply, into my friends’ and family & house & holidays & outings. After all this emotional abuse & toil, after countless hurt, after a broken ass car & having to haul THEIR belongings & furniture out for their dad- they didn’t have the guts to get it their damn self- after their lies & being evicted with the deadline on last christmas, after multiple times at a psych ward/crisis center WHERE THEY RELIED ON ME & CALLED ME ONLY TO FUCK ME OVER THE FOLLOWING DAYS WHEN THEY COME BACK, may i never forget that i’m enough. that my life was worth so much more than this. that this hurt and grief cannot be the sum of my being, that i deserved joy & trust & love. that my body’s betrayal and trauma to please be released so i can be happy in this only home that i have for certain. may i never stop loving myself even when it’s hard. i don’t even know what that would be like anymore. but i’m trying hard to learn.

when i die, may i be full of joy and light. please

[talesfromthecrypts]

They actually make physical media for a much larger percentage of movies than they ever did in the past. Often with a lot more care than any small release was treated in the early dvd days. Its just if you only watch streaming stuff or the big new recent box office hits you won't see that. It is so ridiculously easy to get physical media for movies that even 5 years ago you couldn't even find. Like yes Netflix is a stingy bastard but so many things are available on disc WITH special features than ever before

[mzcain27]

I think game studios should just release their character creators online. For the times when I don’t wanna play the whole game, just the lil dress up part

[retquits]

1.6 is coming—see you march 19th!!! 🥹🌱

[mellotronmkll]

This is so awesome

[wuntrum]

what if a femme robot liked it when her butch creator performed routine maintenance tasks on her (in a sexual way) (and they were both girls)? i guess you'll have to read my new (free) comic to find out!!

[pokimoko]

I can't keep being fundamentally changed as a person by animated movies, it's just not sustainable.

[egophiliac]

(looks at upcoming card releases)

I'm in danger :)

[peevishpants]

i ask you this: how would YOU wear your freshly caught fish hat

[lotus-pear]

he’s begging kuni to let them eat pancakes for dinner

[hotcinnamonsunset]

🎣lure me in, baby!

[hermit-frog]