#i release you
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I released you.
Today was one of the first mornings that I didn’t wake up thinking about you.
I broke up with you in my mind last night - and not out of a lack of love, but out of an overflow of love for myself.
I told you that I no longer want to entertain the thought of being in love with a figment of my imagination - you aren’t real, and I am. I’m the real one.
It’s not even just a manifestation thing - I will and still do have hopes, dreams, and desires but those are all rooted in my sense of reality.
You were none of those. You were a fictional fantasy I clung on to so I could cope with my “miserable life.”
Talking with you gave me moments of ephemeral peace punctuated with heavy moments of lust that made me feel both connected to my body and completely detached from it all at the same time. It was an addiction.
And I knew it was emotionally devastating for me - you in reality were not the you in my dreams at all. You don’t exist. You aren’t in my life in any capacity, so why do I hold on?
My life isn’t so miserable, at least not anymore. I am beginning to view it in a different way.
I am learning how to love myself more and more. I’m learning how to be more present. I’m learning how to experience the ups and downs, to feel all of it.
I don’t want you, any version of you, if you’re a distraction. I often told myself that I would only accept you in my life if you “came correct” (colloquially).
But you have to come correct in my mind too.
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I alchemise these thoughts,
my desires turn to empower
my pain turns to softness
my grief turns to gratitude.
Bittersweet is I
#dark academia#poems#scorpio moon poetry#poems on tumblr#poetry#red aesthetic#aesthetic#poetic mosaic#voice of the cosmos#sagittarius poetry#prose poetry#astrology#spiritual#release#I release you#alchemy#grief#sorrow#loss
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“Letting go is an emotional survival technique that everybody should learn. The paradox of heartbreak is that the negative emotions cause you to emotionally clench around the memory of the lost object and you cannot let go of something that you’re simultaneously clinging to. So the trick to letting go depends on cultivating, gentle, positive emotions, relative to the lost object, which allow you to relax and release.”
- Orion Taraban Psychology
How to let go of someone:The trick of releasing someone from your heart.”
Source: YouTube
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#I release you#gently#in the autumn wind#October 1#soulinkpoetry#with love#poetry#thoughts#she writes#feelings#poets on tumblr#that’s life
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“how could you not know something was wrong earlier??”
*tells me that they worship me & love me so deeply* *chooses furniture & house decor with me the day before our breakup & lets me place a $300 order for our shared room* *agrees that we should “stay strong, focus on our love together as a team” against a potentially scary law situation* *talked about saving up enough money to go to julian or big bear together & that i had to “just listen to them abt money decisions & we can go :)” the day before they broke up with me* *not tell me that them going to the psych ward was dependent on me* *talks about how stable our relationship had grown to be* *invites me to join them for christmas AGAIN THE DAY BEFORE*
& they kept asking me why i couldn’t see it coming & couldn’t accept it so easily. they hid their hurt from me months past AND BROKE MY TRUST MONTHS AGO AND I TRIED SO HARD TO REGAIN IT IN THEM BECAUSE THEY SAID EVERYTHING WAS OKAY ONLY TO BLAME IT BACK ON ME. THEY SAID THEY WOULDNT TURN THEIR WORDS ON ME AND MADE A PROMISE THEY WOULDNT AND THEN THEY LITERALLY DID. WHEN I MADE SURE TO MAKE IT CLEAR TO THEM & TOLD MY CLOSE OTHERS SO THEY COULD KEEP AN EYE ON HOW THINGS PLAYED OUT & THEY SAID THEY WOULDNT PUT IT ON ME AND THEY DID. THEY TOLD ME I WAS THE MANIPULATIVE ONE.
I’m not even sad right now, or angry or ANYTHING, but god will i remember that it’s a testament to my strength & how GODDAMN hard I’ve worked that I’m okay. I let someone who gaslit me into my life so deeply, into my friends’ and family & house & holidays & outings. After all this emotional abuse & toil, after countless hurt, after a broken ass car & having to haul THEIR belongings & furniture out for their dad- they didn’t have the guts to get it their damn self- after their lies & being evicted with the deadline on last christmas, after multiple times at a psych ward/crisis center WHERE THEY RELIED ON ME & CALLED ME ONLY TO FUCK ME OVER THE FOLLOWING DAYS WHEN THEY COME BACK, may i never forget that i’m enough. that my life was worth so much more than this. that this hurt and grief cannot be the sum of my being, that i deserved joy & trust & love. that my body’s betrayal and trauma to please be released so i can be happy in this only home that i have for certain. may i never stop loving myself even when it’s hard. i don’t even know what that would be like anymore. but i’m trying hard to learn.
when i die, may i be full of joy and light. please
#bpd#bpdvent#bpdbreakup#bpd feels#journal#emotional abuse#gaslighting#i release you#you didn’t deserve me at all#breakup#goodbye#transmasc#leaving them in 2022#even my friends & coworkers wished the best for them & the religious ones prayed for them#not a single ounce of care or empathy from their circle to me#blessings in disguise#please#i deserved better#:(#i want to say fuck off but i dont even mean it anymore#i think#who knows#evergreen
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#i don't believe that people for serious reasons sort their books any way but by author#and then obviously by release date/series within that#i am being told that i am being JUDGY#also if you sort your books any other way HOW DO YOU FIND THEM#i really need to know#polls#can't believe i forgot to include genre in here
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They actually make physical media for a much larger percentage of movies than they ever did in the past. Often with a lot more care than any small release was treated in the early dvd days. Its just if you only watch streaming stuff or the big new recent box office hits you won't see that. It is so ridiculously easy to get physical media for movies that even 5 years ago you couldn't even find. Like yes Netflix is a stingy bastard but so many things are available on disc WITH special features than ever before
#i have so many early 00s dvds that only have a trailer on them if that#which i can show you i can take pics of them#like you only had kids movies on dvd that's where half the nostalgia comes from#they release trash from 1983 with 3 hours of interviews now like
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I think game studios should just release their character creators online. For the times when I don’t wanna play the whole game, just the lil dress up part
#yes this is about baldurs gate 3#no I don’t have a decent computer if any description or a PlayStation#I do wanna play the game but I mostly wanna make my dnd characters for hours#you could literally do it for everything tho#totk outfits and dyes#Skyrim could have it’s 17th release#outfits in shit like assassins creed games#dragon age#fromsoft games#the sims maybe??#the options are endless pls game devs#video games#nintendo#Xbox#Sony#PlayStation
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1.6 is coming—see you march 19th!!! 🥹🌱
#stardew valley#can you imagine pouring blood sweat & tears into a game#releasing it for like $15#and then working for 8 more years to add more content without asking for a cent more#for what could have easily been several dlc packs#i love you stardew valley i love you concernedape i love you indie games thank you for being my home all these years#EDIT: added image ID in the alt!!
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This is so awesome
#The article makes it kinda sound like it's just for his sons but he's been obsessed with trains forever himself#Like Phil we know it's for you#psa to anyone coming here now this has notes yes this is from an old article and I know this already#It's from 2008 he's not releasing anything anytime soon I know#tp
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what if a femme robot liked it when her butch creator performed routine maintenance tasks on her (in a sexual way) (and they were both girls)? i guess you'll have to read my new (free) comic to find out!!
#my art#tech tag#TECHNICALLy releasing this for free comics day tomorrow (the 4th)#buuuut im impatient. and i wanna just have it out there already#go download it on my itchio! its free! (but also if you wanna leave a tip you can <3 mwah)#robot fuckers rejoice. happy finger her wires friday <- sorry
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I can't keep being fundamentally changed as a person by animated movies, it's just not sustainable.
#animation#animated film#animated movies#across the spiderverse#across the spider-verse#spiderverse#puss in boots#puss in boots the last wish#puss in boots 2#nimona#nimona film#yes i'm posting this specifically because i just watched nimona and am feeling all kinds of things but really these are all PEAK TIER#the fact they have ALL been released within 7 months of each other...like...woah we are thriving right now#stylised animation with its own unique style reflecting the movie i love you forever kissing you on the mouth#films that make me ferally rip up any and all art blocks to shreds#and that's just the animation side of things#i won't get started on the plots. they also make me want to bounce off of walls#hugging all these close to my chest#as well as all the other great animated movies that exist because animation wins all catergories for me always#(let's not forget anime movies either; y'all are beautiful too! keeping 2d animation alive and i'm so here for it)
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he’s begging kuni to let them eat pancakes for dinner
#i’m sorry to everyone who followed me for skk they haven’t crossed my mind in weeks#it’s just been knkdz and kunikida brainrot 😔#when your brat of a boyfriend asks for a kiss and u tell him no and he hits you w this face#i would slap him tbh#honestly i think it’s a good thing kuni is dead bc he’s finally been released from the eternal punishment of being dazai’s babysitter#i miss them so badly it’s not even funny anymore#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs#bsd#dazai osamu#osamu dazai#kunikida doppo#doppo kunikida#kunikidazai#knkdz#kunizai#lotus draws#also i deadass forgot how to shade so ignore how i basically just pillow shaded this entire drawing
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(looks at upcoming card releases)
I'm in danger :)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#stage in playful land#stage in playfulland#smoking#my favorite horrible crime guys are back!!!!#(my hot take is that glomas had a better story but these goobers were just SO fun)#(they should be allowed to kidnap and murder(?) at least a few dozen people. as a treat.)#man i knew there was probably going to be a fellow card and yet i still did a bad job of saving my keys#and there's this year's halloween to think about too!#normally i try to avoid leaks and spoilers but i did accidentally see some stuff and if it's real then holy SHIT#on the other hand fellow attacks by basically throwing gidel at people and i desperately need this on my team#regardless of whether or not the card is actually any good#(if they change the animation to remove gidel i am going to RIOT it needs to be either exactly the same or EVEN SILLIER)#actually it would be hilarious if their stats were terrible. just the worst. and yet...#grown man and his kid with a hammer vs a bunch of teen wizards who can shoot fire#the results may shock you#(if they do the same duos-with-the-last-release as they have been with the staff cards then i will absolutely lose it)#(please twst. it would so useless to me but SO funny)#fellow: it's showtime rollo! :)#rollo: who are you
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i ask you this: how would YOU wear your freshly caught fish hat
#the wet market is rife with fish hat options...!!!#and you shall look cool in all of them....!!!#oc art#oc#original character#yan#they are a fisherman with only the greatest respect for their bycatch#weiwei art#also im making a picrew specifically bc of these hats HAHAHAH#please play it when i release it!! :'D#its not gonna have Genki because i cant make that work with all the diff hairstyles RIP
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#it's all about power and control. love when dan fights back#interview with the vampire#armand#daniel molloy#armandiel#armandaniel#vampterview#iwtv#tvedit#iwtvedit#iwtv spoilers#vampchives#*gif#you can tell i didn't give a damn about coloring this lmao#dan not understanding his hate fear and low-key attraction to armand. his confusion releasing itself in this push back and forward#gif heavy#long post#ar
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🎣lure me in, baby!
#knitting#wip#knitblr#pattern is Lure Me In on Ravelry🐠#all of this started because I reblogged a photo set of fishing lures on here and immediately was taken aback by the sheer amount of fishing#wordplay there is out there. like. reel me in here if I get carried away. catch and release me if nothing else. i'll never stop baiting you#anyways! fun details! a return of the fibonacci spaced waves on the sleeves my signature fav. stitches that look like fish along the raglan#and fishing lure colorwork designed by yours truly who has only been fishing once in her life and was ultimately just as thrilled digging u#worms for bait because I sure as heck didn’t have sick fishing lures like these😅#fish art
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