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twerkingoftheshrew · 3 months ago

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I made a list of things that are "mecore" for fun. Here's mine.

TW: mention of self harm, NSFW as hell

Soxcore:

Silly knee socks, cannabis, gin and limeade, mismatched footie socks, foxes, fuzzy blankets, cute plushies, creepy plushies, stained glass, colored glass, granny aesthetic Halloween decor, big cocks, 2D muscle men, 2D hot twinks, 2D dommy mommies, cryptids (esp. Mothman), ghost sex, monsterfuckery, jean overall shorts with rainbow straps, band/punny/nerdy tshirts, silky fabrics, stupid adorable cats, mint and dark chocolate KitKats, sprite, original ramune, instant ramen, sailor moon, David Bowie, InuYasha, Fruits Basket, eeveelutions, pins and buttons, pet play, shibari, restraints, holding hands during sex, kitchen witchcraft, wholesome witchcraft, baking sweets for people you care about, one man show in the kitchen, rain in every form, distant thunder, reading smut, toe beans, male ahegao, soft yanderes (all yanderes), impressionist art, making a playlist for every occasion and mood, 2D simping, Ren faire, overcast days, having a moody day, spending the day in bed, cute shoes/boots/heels, rubber toe sneakers (high and low top), cardigan sweaters, nightmare before Christmas, dad hats, witch hats, flower crowns, silver or gunmetal jewelry, vampire movies, goth femmes from 90s cartoons, hugs, gentle casual touches, surprise kisses, tickles and cute pokes, tappy fingies, blushing, being flustered, being oblivious to flirting, being clumsy, being derpy, string led lights, cool spectrum colors (miss me with those warm tones), the sound of water (especially underwater sounds), the moon and stars, walking at night, soft nighttime breezes, running through the woods, shoulder freckles, weirdly good with animals, being shy but polite, being an open book in a comfortable conversation, constant body language, can always read their emotions plain on their face, hand gestures while talking/talking with hands, wild arm flailing (muppet flailing), muppets, tabletop gaming, spring, daffodils, hyacinths, lavender fields, heather meadows, orchids, weeping willows, big old trees, passionate infodumping, platonic cuddling and spooning, granny floral prints, paisley, tarot cards, reading tea leaves, reading runes, amethyst, goldstone, lapis lazuli, smoky quartz, geodes, found animal bones, fangs and claws, pointed ears, oddly shaped pupils, burying your face in things (pillow, crook of lover's neck, cat belly, etc.), early emo shit, random hodgepodge of different 90s aesthetic and nostalgia, those fuckin cups from the 90s with that purple and blue pattern, wildberry poptart colors, wildberry poptarts, smutty dating Sims, hot fictional men who will kill my character, dead doves, the most toe curling fucked up fanfics imaginable, romcom BL, crying a lot, crying from any intense emotional response even if it's positive, crying because of a piece of media, crying for release, crying in the shower, curling up on the floor and clutching yourself tightly while you sob, singing in the shower, singing around the house, singing to my fur children, a live narration of my actions done in song, changing song lyrics to be about silly things, doing character voices in everyday conversation, speaking in meme references, referencing old vines and then having to explain them because someone hasn't seen that one,

gin gins (ginger hard candy), being touch starved, touch as primary love language, sleeping while hugging a pillow, side sleeping, sleeping in, suddenly realizing you've been awake far too long, coming out of a hyperfixation like time travel and figuring out what year you're in now, surprise naps, nap roulette, garlic rye chips, cheese, cheesecake, baby, so so baby, masking mental health in public and to unfamiliar people, thinking no one would ever put up with you, cutting, cutting scars, tattoos that cover scars, piercings and body mods, Oreos, walking down train tracks with a friend, cosplay and LARPing, musical theatre, standing in the rain just to feel it on your skin, stretching like a cat, nose and feet are always cold for some reason, mushroom swiss burgers, psychedelics, MLP:FiM, beanies all winter, choker necklaces, space as an aesthetic, glass pipes and bongs, glassblowing, small venue punk and rock shows, the concert poster plastered bathrooms of a small punk venue, please pet me uwu, neon hair dye, anatomically inaccurate plastic Halloween skeleton animals, clingy but pushes it down, needy but won't ask for things, multiple texts in a row, reading constantly, crowd anxiety, corvids, cephalopods, freshwater shrimp, dying after a fat bong rip/fat dab, simping, passive darling, needing a caretaker relationship, Alolan Vulpix and Ninetails, Greek food, dumbass fudanshi, animal crossing, pop punk, early techno, sad indie, 80s-90s goth kid music, red bean ice cream, ramune flavored candy, Marius from Lez Miz, hobbits, DC, drawn/animated furries, hugging people in fur suits at cons, nigiri sushi, onigiri, the works of Neil Gaiman, femme authored classic literature, classic and modern poetry, occult nonsense, romantic literature, the works of D.H. Lawrence, fantasy fiction, bi panic, "you're so funny" thanks it's a coping mechanism, cast iron wood stoves, generational cast iron pans, family recipes, emerald and silver, dainty works of metal art like broochs, pins and hair pins, band and random sew on patches, night mist, kintsugi (using liquid gold to fix broken things), memories that are so obscure and buried in references and inside jokes it's almost a two person play to explain them,

looking like a Victorian ghost, looking like the host of a punk rock children's show, seaside cliffs, sea storms, Vicky's story in The Gargoyle, The Gargoyle, househusband vibes, chill edits of toonami anime, stupid puns and wordplay, over the shoulder glances, over the edge of sunglasses glances, not getting rid of plushies because you don't want them to be sad and miss you and you're worried about whether or not they'll have a happy life elsewhere, having spoiled fur children because you're a pushover, kissing while crying from happiness, walking arm in arm, face touches, hand on face, hand over hand on face, soft neck and shoulder bites, bite marks, hugging from behind and kissing the top of someone's head, headpats, rubbing your nose on soft things, judging a mug solely by how it feels in your hands, loose leaf tea, having a tea shelf/cabinet, a nice, comfortable pair of boots, lemon, vanilla, clove, sandalwood, sage, lavender, bed head, wants to make you breakfast, embroidering memes and shit posts, wooden rocking chairs, owns way too many accessories, various collections of seemingly mundane items that have more meaning than they should, casually sex/sexual health positive but shy about personal tastes, awkward creetchur vibes, gives genuine compliments to strangers often, always gassin up the homies, forced optimism, character/pop culture mini backpacks, sunglasses with colorful lenses, I like you so I did a deep dive of your Spotify, can and will remodel the house for you, "I can fix that", "please let me put together the furniture it's like a big puzzle!", painting/customizing bits of furniture or clothing because I got bored, making friends in the smoking area, smoke breaks because I'm anxious/overstimulated, telling the band "great show" at the merch table, things that glow in the dark, fireflies, forest rivers and streams, moss covered stones, trees or tree roots that have a surprisingly comfy place to sit, reading a book outside, the smell of books, libraries, old libraries, book spines under fingertips, page edges and corners against fingertips, holding a book to your chest to feel the story close to your soul, overcast days that press down on your soul a bit and make everything feel slightly heavy and bittersweet, crock pot meals on cold days, clutching the edges of sweater or hoodie sleeves, frost covered grass, misty dawns, museum dates, chai lattes, nose boops, edible mushrooms, flowering trees, needing white noise/music to sleep, borrows your hoodie because it smells like you, walking through a cemetery together reading the stones and imagining the lives of the people buried there, "ooo they have a charcuterie board!", Ghibli food and domestic fluff vibes, will absolutely cook with you or for you, spooky cute, gently bonks my head against you like a cat, slow blinks/bleps of affection, book dragons, I really like this new song so I'm going to listen to it on repeat for hours on end, corner store snack runs, PS2 startup noise, "not technically a shota, but his vibes are unmistakable", vine covered brickwork, nitro+chiral BLVNs, toxic/doomed yaoi, old man yaoi

#about me #soxcore #me

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tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 3 years ago

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I’ve finished watching the French and Saunders sketch show, and I am now starting two new shows at the same time: Absolutely Fabulous and The Vicar of Dibley. Excited to see where both those women went off on their own.

I’ve seen some of Absolutely Fabulous before, because my dad had the DVD boxset when I was a kid. I watched some of it with him, but never watched the whole show. Though I don’t know why, because I remember really liking it.

The Vicar of Dibley is a show I’ve never seen any of before. I’ve heard the name a lot because it’s a famous Britcom show that gets referenced on other Britcom shows, but I knew nothing about it until recently, when I looked it up and learned it was the thing Dawn French did while Jennifer Saunders was doing Absolutely Fabulous. So I figured it would make sense to watch the two shows at the same time.

Here’s one thing I know about The Vicar of Dibley: last year, I started seeing a new therapist. After I’d been seeing her for a few months, I mentioned for the first time that I’m into British comedy. Not that I’d been hiding that before... I was just busy discussing the things that make it hard for me to function in life - my panic attacks and depressive episodes and OCD intrusive thoughts and compulsions - and hadn’t actually gotten into my “technically diagnosable as a mental health thing but doesn’t hurt me and I’m actually quite fine with keeping these parts of myself” issues. You know, things like how when I was a kid my mother used to yell at me and ground me for getting too “fixated” on things, and then I got diagnosed with Asperger’s about it. When I see a therapist, I want to try to work on the mental health problems that make life bad for me. The not having enough variety in my life and my mother says I should broaden my horizons and it’s weird that I can spend two years doing nothing but consuming all the British comedy I can possibly find... that’s basically all right.

So I never discussed it with my therapist as an issue that needed solving, but I’d been seeing her for a few months when it came us as just something I like to do. She replied, “Oh, you’re into British comedies? That makes sense, it actually explains a lot about your sense of humour. Your style of humour reminds me of this British show I’ve seen... I can’t remember what it’s called... something about a vicar.”

This was immediately interesting to me for a few reasons. One of them is that I did not realize my therapist was familiar with my sense of humour. It’s almost a meme at this point to talk about being therapy and using humour to deflect from serious issues and then your therapist points out that you’re doing that and you make another joke, but I genuinely did not realize that I’d made enough jokes during therapy for my therapist to be able to define my sense of humour. Like, she seemed really pleased to learn that I was into British comedy, as though that explained something she’d been having trouble understanding about me, because my sense of humour seemed odd to her. She’s a Canadian who doesn’t watch a lot of British comedy, not enough for some nebulous “British style of humour” to just be synonymous with “humour”, the way it presumably is for people who grow up Britain. And the way I think it is for me, as I grew up with so many British comedies. For her, this is a niche style of humour that she isn’t used to, so she was pleased to be able to place it when I told her I’m into Britcom. Oh, I see! That’s why you talk the way you do in an awkward attempt to be funny! You’ve been immersed in the weird British style of humour! She didn’t quite say it in those words, but... she came pretty close.

For the record, I don’t mean to shit talk my therapist. She’s great. It just did knock me down a peg when I realized how easy it is to categorize me as, “Oh, it’s because she watches a lot of British comedy and that seeps into the way she talks.”

After that session, she emailed me to say she’d remembered the show that my sense of humour reminded her of, and it was called The Vicar of Dibley. Given that I consider myself to now know a fair bit about British comedy, apparently to the point where it’s invaded my entire communication style, I also wasn’t very proud to say... actually that show is one I haven’t seen. Don’t even know much about it, really. I know it’s a famous one.

Anyway, that all happened a few months ago. And here I am, putting on The Vicar of Dibley. So... I’ll see if I recognize any of my own sense of humour in it, I guess. It’s going to be weird to watch a show and know that this is how I come across to other people. I hope I don’t hate it.

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entity9silvergen · 4 years ago

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My Dad Watches Sanders Sides Continued

Continued from here

Last night we watched two episodes. One was the blooper video with the bloops from Embarrassing Phases, the puppet episode, and SVS. The other was DWIT.

I feel like my dad doesn’t really appreciate the bloopers as much as I do but he was happy to have a third video with the puppets. He really likes the puppets, surprisingly. Kind of ironic considering the puppet episode was the most recently released episode when I started watching Sanders Sides and it was a conversation about the puppet episode that got him interested in the series. We love some puppets up in here I guess.

I was a bit uneasy watching DWIT with a parent due to the sensitivity of the material. He’s an adult, he watches all kinds of stuff, so it wasn’t like I was worried he’d be bothered by it but it’s just kind of awkward being there with a parent while watching it, especially if you’re the one who introduced the show. I’m sure none of you want to show your parents of a grown man talking about snakes in his butt and self immolating to Taylor Swift (also I just learned what immolation is? I always misheard/ misunderstood that line. I thought it was a sex thing, turns out it means setting yourself on fire).

It was fine though. He didn’t really have any reaction to Remus but he felt like the educational aspect of it was good. He kind of hinted that he experiences something similar so I do hope that the episode provided him some insight if he does experience intrusive thoughts. DWIT provides a lot of information and tips that help in understanding intrusive thoughts, dealing with them, and a lot of good general advice. I mentally refer to it a lot when it comes to handling my own or others’ mental health.

However, he did disagree with some of the points made. When Logan had that bit about being unable to “logic your way out of intrusive thoughts,” he noted that this kind of contradicts cognitive therapy. Cognitive therapy is essentially a type of treatment/ technique where people learn to deal with anxiety, depression, and emotional difficulties by identifying these thoughts, replacing them, and challenging them by changing and disturbing negative patterns. When we watched “My Negative Thinking,” he pointed out that they were referencing it in some way and that there were some similarities.

In the video, Logan explains that the best way to deal with intrusive thoughts is to acknowledge them but not focus on them or think through them. The term I learned for this is monkey minding, though that term is not widely used (I learned the term verbally around four years ago so it’s very possible I misheard it. I googled it so I wasn’t misinforming you guys here but only the monkey brain meme came up). When monkey minding, you recognize that a thought is present, push it away without criticizing yourself for having it, and continue without checking if the thought is still present. In some ways, cognitive therapy and monkey minding contradict each other but I think they go hand in hand in some ways.

It was an interesting discussion. Most shows we watch don’t provoke thoughtful conversations about real world things. Normally we just argue over whether or not Naruto is in love with Sasuke (my dad is convinced that Naruto is in love with Sasuke but also ships Naruto and Sakura), which characters are from Marvel or DC, the villain’s motives, or about minor details of a show, that kind of thing. Sanders Sides is a very nice change of pace.

My friends were very excited for my dog to watch DWIT. His name is somewhat similar to Remus’s name and he’s just kind of a stinker in general. Unfortunately, he fell asleep almost immediately. Puppy cuddles were nice and we had to keep the volume down to keep Dukey’s shrieking from waking him up.

We only have five more episodes left (both Asides episodes, the most recent bloop, YvY, the newest jam video; seven if you count the two “We Take Requests” videos). Really looking forward to it.

#sanders sides #ts sides #remus sanders #dwit #reaction #my dad watches sanders sides

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owl-with-a-pen · 4 years ago

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Episode three was just... no comment.

What did you think?

me through the entirety of Lex’s trial:

6x02 episode spoilers under the cut! (warning: I may have written a short essay)

In all honesty, I’m a bit comme ci, comme ça about the episode. There were parts I liked and parts I didn’t like (as there always are) but to begin lemme focus on Brainy and Nia because, duh, you should expect this from me by this point.

Brainy is an endlessly fascinating character to study and I think a large part of that comes from what Jesse manages to bring to the role. In this episode, it’s clear that Brainy has put a lot of effort into pushing aside his emotions. We see a little bit of that charm back in the way that he deals with the vampire-not-vampire character at the beginning of the episode with the whole ‘pun not intended’ part, and I loved seeing him in action again, using his very unique and incredibly fun to watch fighting style to disarm his opponent. But, I think it’s clear that in this instance, it’s more for show than anything else. The whole episode, Brainy is incredibly reserved, even when he’s talking to Nia. There’s a firmness in the way he deals with the situation and it goes to show just how focused he is on getting Kara back.

This doesn’t surprise me, to be fair. Brainy clearly blames himself for what happened to Kara and I think he’s trying to hide that guilt, hide everything he’s feeling just so he can operate and fix things. I loved seeing Brainy create a simulation for Nia and how confident he was in her ability. He knew with all certainty that she was capable enough to get Kara back, to use her powers to their fullest extent, and although the way he spoke to her felt rather pragmatic, it made sense for him in that moment. Also, there was so much care behind the intensity of those words that Nia definitely picked up on. I also just love seeing the two of them training together again! Also, Nia mentioning how without her mother or Maeve, she felt she couldn’t gain the full scope of her powers was very interesting. It makes me wonder if there might be a possible return of Maeve in the future?

I think what further adds to Brainy’s mentality is that at the end of the episode when he sees Lex on the news, he breaks his keyboard without even thinking. I’m a big fan of seeing Brainy using his strength - and just seeing him snap in general - so that ticked a big box for me. I’m hoping that this means we’ll actually get a character arc for him that focuses on what removing his inhibitors really did. Brainy was essentially thrown into the deep end with his emotions and had to immediately bottle them all away to work for Lex. He doesn’t just harbour hatred for Lex, he blames Lex for everything, and seeing him get free after everything he did, everything Brainy helped him achieve, is that emotional trigger that finally causes Brainy’s standoffish attitude to fall apart. It’s enough that he loses his composure to the extent that he breaks the first thing he can grab hold of. There’s a lot to unpack here and I swear to god I will be having words with the writers if that isn’t explored in more detail.

(I, however, will explore this in more detail in my writing, I can guarantee you that!)

There was a direct parallel between Alex and Brainy’s anger which I liked, and I of course loved that Kelly was there for Alex. Do I wish we’d had a tender scene between Nia and Brainy? Of course. Do I understand why it wasn’t appropriate for the scene? Yes. Does that make it suck any less we didn’t get to see it? Lol, of course not. But Brainy said it himself, after all, now wasn’t the time to focus on anything other than training - which is why seeing Lex later on hit him so hard.

Speaking of Lex. The trial. The trial. The trial. I somewhat feel like the way Lex got off free was a poke at the American political system and quite possibly Trump which, y’know, appreciate the jab, but it still felt rather off. As I said in my fun little meme, I don’t really know much about court cases so I’m not gonna dwell on what did and didn’t make sense, but I have a sneaking suspicion Lillian was the mastermind behind Lex getting out as easily as he did. It’s all about image, right? And Lex certainly turned the tables of the trial to gain some sympathy... even though it was totally undeserved and oh my god could he have been any more of a sexist asshole??

Lena making her testimony was very interesting. I liked the back and forth between her and Lex, as always their dynamic is very fun to watch. However, what really got me was that Lena still had the gall to try and explain herself for Non Nocere, how it was never meant to be mind control, how Lex took her design, blah blah blah. But, she used it for mind control at the DEO. And, also, regardless of what you’re using it for, changing a person’s emotions is still mind. control. Plain and simple. Her motive was selfish, and I’d thought that she had begun to understand that from her previous conversation with Brainy in 6x01, but I guess we’re just gonna casually forget about that.. again..? I wanted an organic way for Lena to come to terms with what she’d done and actively strive to do better because of it, but now I worry her thoughts on the matter will be dismissed for more Drama. Which. Well. Doesn’t sit right with me.

I loved seeing J’onn referencing his daughters again and relating that to his care for Kara. I also loved seeing J’onn and Nia amplify their powers by working together against the Phantoms. If you’ve read some of my Past, Present, Future fic you’ve probably noticed that I use that dynamic a lot. So, seeing it on screen was super cool!

As for the Phantoms, I like their character design, although the Phantom Zone itself feels rather... flat... at the moment. Am I surprised that the mysterious Kryptonian was Kara’s dad? No. No I am not. Did I kinda wish it would be someone else from the House of El? Yes, yes I did. A lot of Kara’s trauma was rooted in the fact that she lost her planet and her parents, and although getting her mother back was very sweet, now having her father conveniently return in the Phantom Zone felt a bit... I don’t know, exactly. I guess it just felt a little forced. Regardless, there’s a lot of potential to see the pair team up to try and get out of the Phantom Zone, and I’m hoping the Phantom Zone will feel a bit more... daunting than it does now... the more we see of it.

Another thing I wished we’d seen was Nia and William actually working together. Andrea putting them together for Lex’s trial sounded like a good opportunity to get some proper interaction between the two and maybe also give William a bit more weight in the storyline, but he still feels like a bit of a blank slate where character is concerned. I feel like they missed out on a good opportunity there by just... skipping over it. I’m sure there’ll be time for that later, but still, a William and Nia work dynamic sounds like it’d be fun to see, especially while Kara is MIA.

So, I’ve almost definitely missed stuff out here, I’ve only watched the episode through once and it was totally during my work hours so I’ll certainly need to do a re-watch to catch everything, but that is my brief(ish) essay on what I did and didn’t like about the episode.

All in all, I’d say I enjoyed it in the sense that it was entertaining and we got to see some character progression that I’m eager to have explored, but I do also think it was lacking in many elements as well.

Thanks for sticking around with me to the end of this jumbled ramble of stuff if you made it this far. And thank you for the question! x

#supergirl #supergirl spoilers #supergirl season 6 #not writing #my asks #anon #supergirl 6x02 #lol anon i think you meant episode 2 i only just realised that but regardless these are my thoughts #i am a very optimistic person lol so I always try to find the good sides of everything.

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someobscurereference · 5 years ago

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Graceless Heart Fic (Spoiler) Notes

These are notes for my 80K Fire Emblem fic “Graceless Heart.” These notes are full of SPOILERS! Please read the fic first! Beware at your own risk!

The notes will be under a Read More. Mobile users, if it doesn’t work for you, I’m so sorry.

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS BELOW:

GENERAL NOTES:

Sumeragi was at work while Corrin was saying goodbye to the Hoshido family. He already said goodbye to Corrin that morning. That’s why he doesn’t appear here.

Xander texting Inigo back a heart emoji: I don’t see Xander as an emoji person, but I think Inigo is definitely the type to use a lot of hearts and whatnot when texting. Xander would not do that on his own, but if you look at his phone, you’ll see his most used (and only) emojis are the heart ones that Inigo sends him. Because Xander is willing to mimic how Inigo shows his affection for the sake of mutual reciprocation. Plus he got made fun of for being so stiff and formal when he writes.

Dock Fight with the Trio: Owain is genuinely embarrassed and Inigo really is going to tease him with those memes, but they’re all friends. This is not a serious fight. Severa and Inigo are not being deliberate assholes here. They’re all having fun.

The book Leo is reading when Owain asks is The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker.

Everyone’s swimsuits are based on what they wear in FE Heroes as summer units or their outfits in the Beach Brawl DLC, minus Corrin, who wears a swim t-shirt on top of whatever bathing suit you imagine for them.

In a real situation where someone is drowning, you should probably not grab them the way Corrin grabs Inigo. A drowning person is very likely to harm or hinder their rescuer due to panic. I just wrote that scene a little less realistically in the fic because I didn’t want to deal with that and, like I say in the notes, I’m functioning on action movie logic. Action movies aren’t realistic.

When Corrin tells Inigo that they’ll keep his almost drowning a secret so long as he lets them know if he has health problems later and Elise tells Inigo to let them know if he has bad dreams, what Elise is actually saying is “Hey, if you start to get PTSD over this, let us know so we can help you.” But she doesn’t want to be so blunt, making this be the type of thing Inigo keeps to himself and suffers through alone, so she says “bad dreams” instead to phrase it with less stigma.

You’ll notice after Inigo’s near drowning that I mention how exhausted he feels when he’s having a freakout on the floor of his cabin, how tired he is the next morning before, during, and after the shopping trip, how he leans heavily on stuff and people, etc. His fatigue can be explained by stress and other normal things. However, it is also a result of the lake water being genuinely bad for people! Most people who go to the lake naturally get this vibe and don’t swim too far out into it/tend to visit the lake in groups or pairs so the chances of drowning decrease. (I almost wrote some of this into Anankos’s dialogue but it felt wonky and didn’t fit.). Corrin also feels this same exhaustion in subsequent scenes, although it’s emphasized less.

Likewise, when Owain and Corrin are stranded in the middle of the water, they also grow quite exhausted rather quickly because (a) the closer to the center of the lake, the more powerful the Bad Vibes that drain your energy and (b) there’s so much rain and water everywhere that as they swallow, they’re also growing more and more tired. Also, fear takes a lot out of a person in general.

Similarly, when Corrin’s foot gets grabbed on the docks, I mention a few times that their legs feel heavy, etc. This is all related to Evil Lake Energy. Severa’s almost drowning is the same deal as Inigo. Everyone who gets in the water (especially if they swallow any) experience this same lack of energy. It’s worse if you actually swallow some water right out there in the middle of the lake and you’re just more susceptible to that kind of bad magic like Anankos unfortunately was. Corrin has been through the wringer at the end of this fic because of constant exposure. They’re on nothing but bedrest for a good number of days after the end of this fic. Lots and lots of sleep for them. Owain is only mildly better in that he doesn’t have to be admitted to the hospital but does need A Lot of sleep. Rest assured that they do eventually recover though.

Elise “lying to Xander and Camilla about stuff all the time” — A reference to in-game canon about how Elise regularly ditches her retainers and goes around to the poorer parts of the city where she is explicitly forbidden to go. She’s surprisingly sneaky and has no problems not telling her siblings about this.

I paraphrased some dialogue from in-game between Leo, Niles and Owain when the latter are trying to convince Leo to swim because it mimicked a Beach Brawl DLC scene.

“Pot, kettle” = a reference to Niles canonically reminiscing about the past in his and Leo’s support. He likely does that in this AU on occasion as well.

Camilla’s SUV has 3 rows of seats because she loves the extra room for bags/extra passenger space.

Some of Camilla and Xander’s interactions and some of Xander’s narration referencing her is also a direct reference to their Supports in Fates also. In this fic, Camilla’s jab at being surprised Xander would ever notice how she felt about Severa because he’s always so busy is more a jab to get him to back off than a pride thing like in canon, but the pride is probably still there too.

Severa lives! She lived because I wanted her too (and because I cannot stand any character death in fics that isn’t like “The Villain Died Forever Ago And Maybe There’s Danger But Everyone Else Is Fine”), but it is a sort of miracle. Camilla did not do proper drowning rescue procedure here. Nobody did. I’m sure you picked up on that from the panic and flashbacks and whatnot. Everyone did their best at handling that rescue, but it wasn’t great. There is too much Panic™ to remain calm, although in real life that’s absolutely what you should try to do in an emergency. Camilla’s one (1) exchange of air is not usually going to save the life of somebody who is really in danger. The only reason it worked is because (a) Severa wasn’t really dead, although she sure looked like it and (b) this is fantasy fiction. Please call emergency services in a situation like this irl or immediately drive to the nearest hospital if there is no cell service and it’s safe to do so.

Xander’s last conversation with Inigo in this fic directly stem from his fear of (a) not being in control and (b) not being strong enough to protect those he cares about.

Originally Elise was going to be the one who figured out Anankos drowned, but somehow while writing it just didn’t work that way, mostly because she ended up stuck by the cars. Whoops. You’re the real hero in my heart, Elise.

CHARACTER NOTES:

Owain’s insecurities stem from his Felicia and Severa supports where Owain reacts very negatively to being called weird. Also from the hc that growing up in modern AU with public school would probably emphasize that insecurity too, since kids can be real bullies. I very much picture him as the “Weird Kid” in class who was in his own little world and other kids whispered about him for it. Which is unfair, because he’s really just having fun :( By middle school/high school, he’s likely learned to tone this down a little, but only after a series of Bad Memories that make him develop a fear that everyone is just barely tolerating him or is making fun of him behind his back. It’s an infrequent insecurity because Owain is pretty good at not really caring what others think, but it’s one that exists all the same. He’s known Niles and Leo for a year or maybe two at this point, but when Leo admits (like in canon) to hating Owain when they first met, it triggers those insecurities again and sets back the progress the three of them had made in working up to a relationship together.

Corrin has a peacemaker type personality in Fates and always wants to believe the best in everyone to the point where they only seem to learn their lesson of “trust but have a backup plan” near the end of the Revelations route. I think I was mostly true to that character of Corrin in my other horror fic Dark Things Grew. And I think I was mostly true to that version of canon here until the part where Corrin and Owain are stuck in the middle of the lake together. (If you think Corrin was 100% what you expected all the way through, yay! But if not: ) Perhaps Corrin is a little more freaked out or snappier than some of you might have expected. However, I am taking some liberties with the fact this is a modern world AU here. In Fates, magic is real. Dragons are real. Ogre monsters that you can summon out of thin air to do your fighting for you (i.e. Faceless) are real. Some things are less likely than others, but there’s a whole realm of magical possibility that doesn’t exist in our reality. So when you find out that the lake your mom used to visit all the time is possessed (huh????) by a demon (?????) whose voice you are hearing in your head (???????) and also who is not a demon but actually your ghost dad (????????) who is trying to kill you and all your friends you guess (????????) but you’re not really sure what’s going on still except for the fact that oh, Ariana, we’re really in it now, aaaahhhhhhhHHHHH—

Well, you, too, would probably be a little upset. Corrin is the same at their core. They’re just allowed to go “Yo, what the heck” now. (I almost had Corrin say the F word in just their narration once and I couldn’t do it :/) They go through a lot of feelings in the climax of this fic, actually, and I hope they felt at least somewhat reasonable reactions to you, the reader, since the situation Corrin finds themselves in is so unprecedented, stressful, and wack.

Also, this is true for all characters! They’ve been mildly adapted into modern counterparts. This means some experiences that shaped them in Awakening/Fates didn’t happen here or were adapted into modern equivalents. (For example, Inigo is a little less able to run face first into battle than in Awakening/Fates bc he didn’t experience the terror and necessity of having to fight the Risen as a young kid. He still grew up shy and is a (self-admitted in Supports) crybaby who tries to hide those facets of himself, however. Hence why he feels the need to put on a brave face after Bad Things Happen. He still feels like he needs to be a pillar of support for people, although he’s a less steady than his more hardened counterpart. Similar extractions can be applied to other characters throughout this fic.

I often write Severa/Camilla as a very doting, established relationship. A lot of the time the conflict in my stories comes from some outside factor—a dragon, a war, magic, etc. I don’t write a lot of interpersonal conflict, and it’s something I thought I should try my hand at least once. Camilla and Severa’s dynamic here specifically draws from Camilla’s habit of keeping her true feelings close to her chest in her supports. In canon with Selena, she very obviously gives noncommittal answers to Selena’s demands that Camilla praise her for being the best. With Xander, Camilla lies by omission—when he guesses her favorite food wrong, she pretends he’s right for the sake of (presumably) not embarrassing him and proving he doesn’t actually know his siblings better than she does. I’m sure there are other incidents where Camilla hides her true feelings too. I’ve always wondered about these events. Emotionally, Camilla is a very interesting character to me. She has a lot of thoughts and feelings, but she seems to keep a lot of them to herself. I wish that was explored more in-game.

Here, I combined Camilla’s natural tendency to keep her true feelings to herself with her canonical childhood loneliness. She canonically felt bereft of maternal love as a child, and that’s why she tries to shower so much on Corrin. In this fic, Camilla is afraid of opening herself up to love from others. She can dole it out because she doesn’t want to deprive anyone (specifically Corrin, who was isolated a lot via Garon) of that same love, but in turn she never wants to actually be vulnerable with anyone. Family gets special privileges, but even her siblings don’t get to see everything. She has romantic feelings for Severa, but she’s afraid of opening herself up to potential hurt and having that love thrown back in her face later. So Camilla does herself the favor of not allowing herself to be vulnerable in the first place. There’s some part of her that really does want to openly love and be loved by Severa, however. So that’s the yo-yo affect Severa is dealing with throughout this fic.

Camilla knows, factually, that Severa likes her too. But she also has this defense mechanism she’s used her whole life. She wants the best of both worlds; she wants to teeter on the edge of romance/intimacy she and Severa both crave while still keeping Severa at arm’s length so she never actually has to face the danger of being potentially vulnerable with Severa and therefore hurt. Which, you know. Is shitty. (Sometimes the people you love can do shitty things. Sometimes you can do shitty things. I think Camilla’s character is more complex, realistic, and interesting here because of it. I hope you think the same.)

And Camilla keeps it up until she realizes losing Severa is still a very real possibility whether or not she admits her feelings. It’s too late to pretend otherwise. She’s already vulnerable to that hurt she wanted to avoid. The shock of that revelation, the fear of losing Severa, and also McFreaking Water Ghost is enough to get her to admit her feelings and change her behavior. It’s not all peaches and cherries from here on out for them, but it’s a start. They’re taking it slow.

Camilla isn’t a villain here, which I say because I worry some people may think I wrote her to be villainous. Sometimes the people you love have baggage. Severa has it too. So does everyone else in this fic and in your actual real life. That’s natural. Sometimes we do shit things because of that baggage. It happens. Does that mean you get an excuse for your actions? Absolutely not. Apologize. Do better. Camilla is trying. They’ll go from here.

I was trying for a lot more nuanced, complex approach to these two this time around rather than the zero interpersonal problems approach. It was new for me too. I hope it payed off.

Anyway, love wins.

A VERY BAD OUTLINE OF THE CABINS THAT I MADE IN PAINT 3D AND A FLOOR PLAN I STOLE FROM GOOGLE IMAGES 2 YEARS AGO:

I am so sorry for the quality of this, lmao

#my fic #long post #fe14 #fe13 #graceless heart #character analysis #fic analysis #my text #graceless heart fic

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unfortunate-stranger-losers · 5 years ago

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Six Baudelaires AU, Part One: Reference Guide

A quick guide for everything I intentionally referenced in The Six Siblings, Part One: There’s No Happy Endings, Not Here and Not Now.

{ao3} {tumblr}

Without further ado...

Chapter One / Prologue - in which the Baudelaires make a Fort

“Mother and Father are gone again, and we can’t get Sunny to shut up.” [...] “Where are Mom and Dad?”

This is relevant throughout the entire fic; the Netflix!Baudelaires (Violet, Klaus, Sunny) refer to their parents as “Mother and Father”, while the Movie!Baudelaires (Lilac, Nick, Soli) refer to them as “Mom and Dad.” This is because they did so in their respective adaptations.

In case you missed the origin of the Movie!Baudelaires names:

Lilac is also a purple flower, similar to Violet.

Nick and Klaus are both diminutives of Nicholas.

Solitude and Sunny are both popular candidates for S Theodora Markson’s first name in the prequel series, All the Wrong Questions.

Lilac said, moving up next to the crib and smiling as some hair fell out of her ponytail and into her face- ugh, she’d have to braid it back before breakfast.

obvious reference to the fact Movie!Violet has four braids at any given time.

Lilac sighed. “Vi, can you pass the hone- is that my sweater?” Violet glanced down at her outfit, and then glared at her sister. “Well, it’s not like you were going to wear it.” “That’s mine, Nancy gave it to me for my birthday!”

“Nancy” is a lowkey reference to goth movie character Nancy Downs, from The Craft (1996).

But there were Klaus and Nick, sitting in the corner. Klaus was covering his ears and rocking back and forth, while Nick was grabbing blankets out of a box and putting them over him, nervously fiddling with the edges and bouncing up and down as he ran.

Most of the Baudelaires’ reactions to the storm are referencing the fact that they’re autistic and/or adhd, and the loud thunder is overstimulating for Klaus and Solitude especially. [I also used this as a reference in part two of my Stranger Things crossover, If I Go (There Will Be Trouble), with Klaus and Sunny.]

As Lilac dictated what to do, Violet grabbed some rope out of a box, and threw blankets over it as Lilac tied it to loose planks and metal structures. They kept doing that, until the blankets made up a small enclosed area. Lilac dug some pillows out of another box, using those and the extra blankets to fill in the floor of the blanket fort.

obvious reference to the blanket fort scene in the 2004 film.

“Music box.” Lilac explained, and she grabbed something on the side, winding it up and then opening it. Slowly, notes started playing, sounding a bit like a jazz song.

Reference to Ellington’s music box in All the Wrong Questions, which was probably playing either “Black, Brown and Beige” or “Solitude.”

“Snahpro.” Solitude said, which meant, “I’d rather [Mom and Dad] were here with us.”

Hint: spell “snahpro” backwards. ;)

Rest of the fic under the cut.

Chapter Two - in which the Baudelaires receive some Distressing News

“But I was reading about tide pools yesterday,” he said, “And I’d like to see what’s here.” “Hopkins,” said Solitude, which probably meant, “Let him look at the tide pools, we’ve got time.”

“Hopkins” is a reference to Kailey Hopkins, the American Girl doll Girl of the Year 2003-2004, whose story centered around tide pools.

“Lilienthal,” Sunny said, which meant, “Or the hang-glider.”

Otto Lilienthal was the first person to make repeated successful flights with gliders.

[Lilac] said there was “always something” that could be done to better any item, any piece of trash. Anything could be useful… except Violet’s ugly clothes, nobody could fix that disaster.

obvious reference to Movie!Violet’s catchphrase.

[Solitude] would have the same smile while succeeding in finishing a puzzle as she did when she was playing fetch with Nick- “fetch” being a word which here meant that he would throw whatever was closest to him and she would catch it and bite it.

obvious reference to the short scene in the 2004 movie.

“Ready.” Nick said. “Asill.” said Soli and Sunny.

“Asill” is a combination of the words “As I’ll”, aka the popular phrase, “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

“They just get back from a trip.” Violet said. “Maybe they needed to follow up on something today?” “What would they need to follow up on that we couldn’t be there for?” Nick asked. “Maybe they’re just-”

Lowkey, Nick was going to suggest that maybe their parents kicked them out of the house so they could have “alone time” together. He’s lucky he didn’t get to finish this thought, as Lilac probably would have throttled him.

“How do you do?” Violet asked. “How do you do?” Klaus asked. “Odo yow!” Sunny and Soli both said. Nick stared at them. “You all sound like robots.” he said, before turning to Mr Poe. “It’s nice to see you, Mr Poe.”

a reference to the popular meme format:

Klaus and Nick stared at the burnt pages, while Violet made her way over to a broken grandfather clock she had spent hours of her life repairing and fixing and adding additions too; it was almost completely shattered.

A reference to her clock/toaster in The Bad Beginning, Part One.

“Nick,” Lilac said, glancing at Solitude, who she was currently holding, “You’re scaring her.” “I’m scaring her? Lilac, our parents are dead! We’re going to be shoved to the first person who might be related to us, and til then we have to sleep on the floor. We don’t have anything, our house is gone-”

Nick’s freakout is a reference to a deleted scene from the 2004 film that goes similarly.

“Deciduous,” Soli said, which probably meant, “Can I bite it?”

“Deciduous” is a term used for when leaves are shedded from trees.

What [Lilac] didn’t say, was that while she couldn’t remember seeing it before, or the Eye on top, it looked… it looked familiar, somehow. But she couldn’t say where she might’ve seen it before.

A reference to Book!Violet being able to vaguely remember VFD activity. Lilac takes that subplot in this fic.

Chapter Three - in which a wild Count Olaf appears

“Which one is the eldest?” Olaf asked. Poe paused, glancing between Violet and Lilac. “Well, they’re twins, so I don’t believe it matters.” “We’re the twins.” Nick said, gesturing to himself and his brother. “Lilac and Violet are not.”

Start of a running joke where Lilac/Violet and Solitude/Sunny are confused for the set of twins, as they look more similar to each other than the fraternal twins Nick and Klaus.

They stared at each other for a moment, and then Nick said, “Well, I’ve got a good feeling about this.” “Nick-” Lilac warned. “No, really, he seems like a great guy.” Nick said, dropping Solitude on the ground and starting to wander around the room. “I mean, the house is falling apart, sure, but I’m sure it’s nothing. We probably won’t die the second a storm comes around. Oh, and I’m sure we can just find some rat traps lying around, I thought I saw a mouse on the way up.” He paused, glancing to the side, and then said, “Ooh, one bed, fantastic.”

Once again, a reference to the deleted 2004 film scene.

“Hey, maybe we could take off that wallpaper.” Violet suggested after they all worked for a few minutes, glancing at a part that had already peeled off. [...] Klaus turned slightly, smiling at Nick and saying, “It is so pleasant to be out in this great room and creep around as I please.” While Soli and Sunny stared in confusion, Nick laughed, and Lilac and Violet also smiled slightly. Nick then continued, “For outside you have to creep on the ground, and everything is green instead of yellow.” “The wallpaper’s not yellow, though.” Lilac noted, though she still smiled. “Don’t be a spoilsport.” Violet said, before continuing the quoting from a short story the older children all enjoyed. “I’ve got out at last, in spite of you and Jane! And I’ve pulled off most of the paper, so you can’t put me back!”

The siblings are referencing the 1892 short story The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman, which was written to highlight the "medical, professional, and societal oppression against women at the time.”

Chapter Four - in which Nick and Klaus finally get into a Library

“They don’t have anything more recent than twenty years ago, and the Librarian doesn’t say anything, other than asking me if I’ve been good to my Mother.”

reference to a VFD codephrase as revealed in The Unauthorized Autobiography; a librarian will ask “Well, young lady, have you been good to your mother?” which means “I have a message for you.” The message will be given if the volunteer replies with, “The question is, has she been good to me?”

“Hmm?” Soli asked. “I don’t remember that.” “That was before I liked you.” Nick said, grinning over at the toddler. “Remember? Took me six weeks, and then we were best friends.” “You tried to throw her off the roof.” Violet reminded him. “That’s just sibling bonding.”

Reference to the best movie of all time, Addams Family Values (1993), in which Wednesday and Pugsley take a dislike to their new baby brother and attempt to throw him off of the roof.

“Tagenon.” Sunny said quietly. “I wish we had pancakes, this oatmeal has no flavor.”

Foreshadowing to Sunny’s future interest in cooking.

“Pasta Puttanesca.” she said, holding up the cookbook she’d been flipping through. “That sounds Italian.” Lilac noted. “I wonder what it means.” Klaus said. “I think it means ‘very few ingredients.’” Nick said. “That’s great.” Lilac said, looking like she didn’t care at all. Klaus considered a moment. “I don’t think that’s right.” “I don’t think you’re right.” Nick retorted.

Reference to both Movie!Klaus and Netflix!Klaus’s reactions to “Puttanesca” - “that’s Italian for ‘very few ingredients’” vs “I wonder what that means in Italian.” Fun fact: “Puttanesca” roughly translates to “prostiitute.”

Chapter Five - in which Dinner goes Badly

“Vanukas.” Sunny said. “And Chocolate Pudding for desert.”

“Vanukas” is Finnish pudding.

Chapter Six - in which the Baudelaires are Cast in a Play

Sunny raised a small hand. “Caedis,” she said, which meant, “We could just kill him.”

derivation of the Latin verb “caedo”, which means “to cut, beat, kill, defeat”

“Funus.” Soli laughed. “I could hide the body.”

derivation of the Latin noun “funus”, meaning “funeral, death.”

“Standoffish” was not a word the children would use to describe Count Olaf. Lilac would have been more inclined to use “pure evil” had she not been worried something might happen to her siblings if she did.

Reference to one of Movie!Violet’s lines.

Slowly, Count Olaf got to his feet, walking around so he was standing beside Lilac, and he reached forwards and stroked her on the chin, staring deep into her eyes. “You will participate in this performance. I would prefer it if you…” he smiled darkly, “Volunteered to perform, but I believe you orphans are familiar with the term in loco parentis. That is a phrase that here means that I can order you to participate, and you must obey.”

Reference to VFD.

Chapter Seven - in which the Baudelaires read up on Inheritance Law

“I mean…” Klaus paused. “She couldn’t be scared, could she? Lilac doesn’t get scared.” Nick glanced over at him. “Klaus, we’re all-”

Reference to a line from The Bad Beginning, Part One that is quoted directly in the next chapter: “We’re all frightened, Klaus.”

Chapter Eight - in which Lilac and Violet attempt a Rescue

Soli sniffled. “Parvula,” she said, which meant, “I had to move out of the crib, but I didn’t care, I was just happy to have someone to play with.”

Feminine form of the Latin noun “parvulus”, meaning “infancy, childhood.”

Lilac nodded. “When… when Mom and Dad brought you home, boys, and Soli, and Sunny, they told me… they told me, ‘you are the eldest Baudelaire child. And as the eldest, it will always be your responsibility to look after your younger siblings.’” Violet flinched, glancing away, and Soli sniffled a little.

The reason Lilac does not mention Violet is simply because she would’ve only been eleven months old when Violet was born, not old enough to remember anything her parents told her. Violet flinched because her parents had never told her the same thing, or at least not to the extent of Lilac, which just feeds into her inferiority complex.

“Devil’s tongue knot.” Lilac nodded; they’d both memorized the knot when they were younger, after reading about the female Finnish pirates that invented them in the fifteenth century. Violet had thought it’d be useful to know a knot that twisted in such a complicated and eerie way, and while Lilac agreed, she’d honestly learned it because she thought it’d be a good way to impress a female Finnish pirate, should they ever meet one.

Baby Lilac was a baby gay for female Finnish pirates.

Lilac froze a moment, and then her eyes darted towards Violet, whose face fell into a look of horror the second she realized what Olaf was implying. Then Lilac turned back to the Count, a darkness and hate behind her eyes as she spoke in a growl of fury her siblings had never heard come from her voice before. “Don’t fucking touch her.”

A running joke is Lilac constantly reprimanding her siblings for their language, though she swears herself on occasion. However, she herself will say “fuck” almost exclusively when Olaf is threatening her siblings- especially Violet, who, as another teenage girl, is in just as much danger as Lilac- and when she is threatening him right back.

Chapter Nine - in which Violet has a Plan

“If we fail-” “We won’t.” Violet gripped tighter onto her sister’s hands, and she stared her in the eyes. “You’re Lilac goddamn Baudelaire, and you are not giving up here.”

this is a reference to me being salty at the ending of the 2004 film.

“God, we should’ve just murdered Olaf on day one.” Nick said. “Just all dogpiled on him and punched him til he stopped moving, and then claim we don’t know what happened.”

a reference to the original shitpost that inspired this au.

“Then we better get moving.” Nick said. “I saw the troupe member Violet said was guarding the stairs in the crowd, so we might be able to get up that way. We won’t have to climb the tower.” “Good, cause I can’t climb for shit.” Klaus said, wiping his face with his sleeve. “We wouldn’t do as good as Lilac or Violet anyway.” Nick shrugged. “If we had to make something.”

Once again, a reference to me being salty at the ending of the 2004 film.

Chapter Ten - in which the Baudelaires crash a Wedding

Softly, Violet looked over at her, and grinned slightly. “Your makeup’s ridiculous.” she said, giggling.

You may have noticed a pattern in me being salty towards the ending of the 2004 film.

Chapter Eleven - in which the Baudelaires meet their next Guardian

“What sort of scientist is he?” Lilac asked[...] The siblings all looked out the windows, and after a pause, Nick said, “Well, Li, there’s your answer.” As Poe’s car pulled up to the steep gravel driveway to the enormous stone house before them, they could see a vast, green lawn, covered in shrubs and hedges that had been trimmed to resemble long serpents.

A reference to Movie!Violet asking what kind of scientist Monty is while walking beside several hedges shaped like snakes.

“Sayonara.” Soli giggled, meaning, “Good riddance.” “Yeet.” Sunny said.

In The Reptile Room book, it is mentioned that “yeet” is one of Sunny’s ways of saying goodbye. But also it’s funny because of a recent meme.

Solitude looked up curiously. “Serpentium?” she asked, meaning, “What reptile room?”

“Serpentium” is a derivative of the Latin noun “serpens”, meaning “snake.”

The second Nick entered, he glanced down at Solitude to see her eyes light up completely.

And Solitude’s interest in Herpetology has begun.

“That is one of the smallest frogs in our collection.” Monty said. “But size is no guarantee of power, is it, Solitude? That frog is very long-living, can switch genders at will, and is incredibly adaptable. You can name them if you like.” Solitude looked like Monty had just given her the world, and the tiny frog hopped onto her shoulder. She giggled as it curled up against her, as if preparing to fall asleep on her sleeve. "Babbitt!" she cried with delight.

The introduction of Solitude’s pet.

Babbitt is named after Natalie Babbitt, the author of the book Tuck Everlasting, which features a toad as an important character.

Babbitt is based on a Wood Frog, though they are not an exact correlation; while they display many behaviors/physical similarities, Babbitt’s ambiguous species has some unique traits, such as genderfluidity and a longer lifespan.

Chapter Twelve - in which Sunny makes a Friend

“Ink!” Sunny said, meaning, “And I can play with the Incredibly Deadly Viper!”

A reference to Inky’s name, which is revealed in The End.

“Okay.” she finally said. “Um… Sunny, say goodnight to your siblings.” “Nocte!” Sunny yawned.

“Nocte” is derived from the Latin noun “nox”, meaning “night.”

Nick fell asleep quickly, too, but Klaus stayed up a bit more, playing with the cylinder in his hands and occasionally staring towards the window, where he could’ve sworn he heard something outside, but… it must have been nothing.

A reference to the VFD code phrase, “If there’s nothing out there, then what was that noise?”

Chapter Thirteen - in which Monty receives a New Assistant

While Solitude was slightly jealous that Sunny had befriended such a large snake, she had her own pet; she’d named her tiny frog Babbitt, and the small animal tended to jump onto her shoulder or into her dress pocket whenever they had the chance.

See the reference list for Chapter Eleven for notes on Babbitt.

“Cheup!” Sunny called to the crocodile in the corner of the room. “Don’t be sad! Uncle Monty will be back soon!” “Sun! Cor!” Solitude called, meaning, “Sunny, the broken-hearted crocodile just sounds like it’s saying ‘woe is me,’ he’s not actually sad at the moment.”

“Cheup” is a combination of the words “cheer up.”

“Cor” is the Latin noun for “heart.”

“You were just reading about alligators.” Klaus said. “They’re different.” “Not really.” “Sinensis.” Solitude said. “Klaus is right, actually.”

“Sinensis” is part of the scientific name for a subspecies of alligator, the alligator sinensis.

“Serpe?” Sunny asked, looking over. “Can we bring the Incredibly Deadly Viper?”

“Serpe” is derived from the Latin verb “serpo”, meaning “to crawl”

Chapter Fourteen - in which the Baudelaires go to the Movies

“We’re fine.” Violet said. “What was screaming?” “Nothing.” Nick said. “If that was nothing,” Violet glared at him, “What was that noise?”

A reference to the VFD code phrase, “If there’s nothing out there, then what was that noise?”

“How did he find us?” Klaus asked. “That’s the wrong question.” Violet said, and they stepped back again as they heard more pounding on the door. “What do we do?”

A quote from the Netflix show that is most likely a reference to All the Wrong Questions.

“Propositum,” Solitude said, meaning, “He must have some scheme, we just don’t know what it is.”

“Propositum” is a derivative of the Latin verb “propono,” meaning “to make known, declare.”

The movie itself was very confusing for the children; it had subtitles in the same language it was spoken in, the characters all spoke in stilted and unrealistic dialogue, and whenever a bell rung, Nick and Klaus would hear Monty count every eighth word, write it onto his ticket, and then look at the confused, unrelated jumble of words and erase the sentence, muttering something about paranoia.

Monty knows there is a message in this movie for him in Sebald code (see: The Unauthorized Autobiography), but he is counting every eighth word instead of every eleventh. Thus he does not get the message.

“Poliziotto?” Sunny asked, which meant something like, “Do you think Uncle Monty called the police?”

“Poliziotto” is the Italian noun for “police officer.”

Chapter Fifteen - in which the Baudelaires crash a Car

“Video!” Sunny shouted, which meant, “Anyone could see that!”

“Video” is a Latin verb meaning “to see.”

“He’s an actor, he could’ve-” Lilac began. [...] “How’d he get rid of his tattoo?” Klaus asked quietly. “Makeup, it has to be.” Lilac said. “He’s an actor, he’d know where to get some.”

A reference to the fact the Movie!Baudelaires realized he could have used makeup faster than the Book and Netflix!Baudelaires.

“Omicido?” Sunny asked, which meant something like, “Do you think he’d kill Mr Poe?”

“Omicido” is an Italian noun for “murder.”

“Squamate,” Solitude said, cuddling Babbitt to her face, which meant, “I would rather see more reptiles.”

“Squamate” is a derivative of “Squamata,” the scientific name for the largest order of reptiles.

Chapter Sixteen - in which Solitude leads a Jailbreak

“Okay, that was clearly one of his troupe members.” Klaus said. “The- I’m not quite sure what their gender is.”

A reference to the fact the Netflix!Baudelaires pick up on disguises faster than their Book counterparts.

As Babbitt hopped out of her pocket and across the floor, she said, “Recente,” which, in this case, meant, “It was in the newest one, so it should be on one of the ends.”

“Recente” is a derivative of the Latin adjective “recens”, which means “new, recent.”

“Or we could just have Sunny bite us a lockpick.” Violet said. “I don’t think she can do that.”

A reference to Sunny biting Violet a lockpick in The Reptile Room, Part Two.

Lilac said, hiking up her skirt and starting to tie it back; she remembered, briefly, how her Mother had taught her how best to tie back long dresses and skirts if she planned to run in them.

actually useful information

“Would you rather break open the lock with a flamethrower?” “Yes! Was that an option?”

A reference to this incorrect quote, which is, of itself, a reference to a line from the television show Brooklyn Nine-Nine, episode 3x10, “Yippie Kayak.”

“Lilac?” Violet asked, watching as Solitude tried to squirm out of Nick’s arms to reach a cage that was being carried by. “Do we know an Aunt Josephine?” “I…” Lilac shut her eyes. “I think I vaguely remember the name.” “Josephine Anwhistle.” Poe said. Lilac considered. “Yeah. Auntie Josephine. Fierce Auntie Josephine.” “We have an Aunt Josephine?” Klaus asked. “Yeah.” Lilac said. “I… it must’ve been before you boys were born, but I do remember someone saying ‘Fierce Auntie Josephine’... I must’ve met her when I was young.”

A reference to Book!Violet being able to vaguely remember VFD activity. Lilac takes that subplot in this fic.

Nick placed Soli onto the floor as he started shoving books into his suitcase, trying his best to fill it up, and she wandered around the room, crouching by the corner a moment as the screeching iguana was carried away over her head. When he finally picked her up, she cried a bit quieter, putting her head on his shoulder and keeping her hands in her pockets.

This is when Solitude puts Babbitt into her pocket to smuggle out of the Reptile Room.

“Bye, Ink!” Sunny called. “Amo! Mox!” This meant, “I love you! I hope to see you soon!”

“Amo” is a Latin verb, meaning “to love.”

“Mox” is a Latin adverb, meaning “soon.”

Chapter Seventeen - in which Aunt Josephine is no longer Fierce

“What do you remember about Aunt Jo, Lilac?” Nick asked.

The Movie!Baudelaires call Aunt Josephine “Aunt Jo.”

Soli bit her lip. “Timor,” she whispered to Nick, meaning, “Someone’s been to crazy-town.”

“Timor” is a Latin noun meaning “fear.”

“Sunny doesn’t speak fluently yet.” Klaus said. “She does know some English words.” “And Italian.” Nick said. “Mom taught her some of that.” “And Father taught us some Latin.” Klaus added. “But Sunny and Soli mostly just use baby talk.”

Italian and Latin are the languages I use most for Soli and Sunny’s speech.

Beatrice knew Italian from here career in the opera.

Solitude, who had bent down to look under her crib, sat back up and said, “Cooke,” which meant, “It kind of sounds like a Rattlesnake.”

The journalist Alistair Cooke recommended cooking rattlesnakes.

Should also be noted that Solitude bending down to “look under the crib” was her hiding Babbitt under there.

“Dorel,” Solitude said, pointing at the crib. “I’m too old for that, I moved out of cribs back when Sunny was born.”

Dorel Industries is a Canadian manufacturing company that makes cribs.

They stared for a moment, and then Nick said, “Well, I’m gonna go disassociate in front of the fridge.”

y’all are never gonna let me live this post down and honestly keep going i love it

“Hirudinea!” Solitude threw up her arms. “Then who cares?”

“Hirudinea” is the subclass that leeches belong to.

Chapter Eighteen - in which the Baudelaires break into a safe

Klaus eventually got bored of the grammar books, and he was dismayed to find that the only non-grammatical book that Aunt Josephine didn’t have put away somewhere was Anna Karenina, which he’d already read twice.

Anna Karenina is required reading for VFD.

Solitude spent most of her time finding a new room to hide in, as she’d seemed to tire of Nick never letting her out of his sight, but she felt very bad about this; whenever they found her, she’d look very guilty, and she’d apologize for worrying them.

She’s sneaking out to play with Babbitt.

“Scripto,” Solitude huffed, petting Babbitt, “Not actually paying attention to things we like.”

“Scripto” is a Latin verb, meaning “to write.”

“Roh.” Solitude said, also taking a photo to show Babbitt. “Wrestling.”

ROH (Ring of Honor Wrestling Entertainment, LLC) is an American wrestling promotion.

Chapter Nineteen - in which Aunt Josephine gets a date

Before Lilac could stop him, [Nick] reached forwards and grabbed Olaf’s leg, pulling on it and pulling back the pant to try and show the tattoo. Violet and Klaus screamed as their older sister raced forwards and pulled him back, but before she could, Nick stared, wide-eyed, at a peg leg, instead of an ankle.

A reference to a similar scene in the 2004 film.

Lilac pushed Nick behind her, terror filling her as she shouted, “Nick Liam Baudelaire, what the hell was that?”

Nick’s middle name is taken from his actor, Liam Aiken.

Chapter Twenty - in which Lilac gives her siblings allergic reactions

“Dead fly.” Solitude said, but thankfully none of the adults heard her and asked why she’d want something like that, nor why her dress pocket was squirming.

While this is an obvious reference to Soli wanting to feed Babbitt, it is also a reference to a similar request made by Wednesday Addams in the 1964 sitcom The Addams Family, episode 1x10, “Wednesday Leaves Home.”

Chapter Twenty-One - in which the House falls

“So what do all these mistakes mean?” Violet said. “It’s substitution, isn’t it?” Nick said, figuring it out. “The k is supposed to be a c, so c is the first letter.”

Nick figuring it out before Violet is a reference to how fast Movie!Klaus figured out the code in the 2004 film.

“Raef.” Sunny shuddered. “Scared, but alright.”

“Raef” is “fear” spelled backwards.

Chapter Twenty-Two - in which Violet steals a Sailboat

“Irma?” Sunny shrieked, meaning, “Did you miss the fact there’s a hurricane?”

A reference to Hurricane Irma.

Aunt Josephine looked down at the photo, and they were surprised to see her face soften. “Ah, Lucky Smells Lumbermill. In Paltryville!” she sighed. “It’s not far from here, maybe a day’s drive. I remember the day this photo was taken. We were all so young. Look! There’s Ike. Isn’t he handsome? Oh, and Gregor! Of course that was before… well…”

“That was before” Gregor and Ike had a falling out and Gregor was killed in an arson.

Chapter Twenty-Three - in which the Baudelaires go Off-Book

“That won’t matter.” Lilac shut her eyes tight. “I’ll sing us to sleep.”

A reference to the song “Asleep”, performed by Emily Browning, Movie!Violet’s actress. The perfect depressing song to end The Wide Window on.

Chapter Twenty-Four - in which the Baudelaires break and enter

“Well…” Nick bit his lip. “Remember what Mother said? ‘Do the scary thing first…’” “‘Get Scared Later.’” Violet nodded.

A quote from Lemony Snicket in All the Wrong Questions.

Nick bringing it up is a lowkey reference to the fact that Movie!Klaus’s actor, Liam Aiken, narrated the audiobooks to All the Wrong Questions.

They looked at each other and then Sunny said, “Sondheim,” meaning, “Let’s travel through the woods, and follow the road from there; can’t be that much of a walk.”

“Sondheim” is a reference to Stephen Sondheim, the composer of Into the Woods.

Nick and Soli clapped, and Lilac hissed, “Violet Malina Baudelaire, I am going to slaughter you.”

Violet’s middle name is taken from her actress, Malina Weissman.

Chapter Twenty-Five - in which the Baudelaires are put to work

“Good, we could get Nick new glasses.” Lilac said. “I don’t need glasses!” Nick huffed. “I can see just fine!” “Yeah, outta one eye.” Klaus said. “What happens if your good eye gets scratched or burnt or something?”

Nick has amblyopia.

“Parvum!” Sunny shouted. “We’re not midgets, we’re children!”

“Parvum” is derived from the Latin adjective “Parvus”, meaning “small.”

Klaus, Lilac and Sunny seemed the most bothered by this; Lilac kept flinching whenever the pots clanged, Sunny would sometimes hide on one side of the log to cover her ears, and Klaus kept shutting his eyes in a struggle to hold back tears of frustration and overstimulation.

Lilac, Klaus and Sunny are incredibly overstimulated by their environment.

Chapter Twenty-Six - in which Klaus goes to the optometrist

“Simitu!” Solitude said. “We can’t just let him off by himself!” “Oculus!” Sunny said. “That eye building is creepy!”

“Simitu” is a Latin adverb meaning “at the same time, together.”

“Oculus” is a Latin noun meaning “eye.”

Chapter Twenty-Seven - in which Klaus is acting Very Strange

No major references in this chapter.

Chapter Twenty-Eight - in which there is an accident at the Lumbermill

“Records.” he whispered. “Timbales?” Sunny asked. “Any Tito Puente?” “Egieb?” Solitude asked. “Or Duke Ellington?”

Timbales are an instrument used by Tito Puente.

“Egieb” spelled backwards is “Beige,” a reference to Duke Ellington’s “Black, Brown and Beige.”

That song, as well as the reference to Duke Ellington himself, are a reference to All the Wrong Questions, which took a lot of names from things associated with Duke Ellington.

Chapter Twenty-Nine - in which Sunny has a Swordfight

“Ubi?” Sunny asked. “Where could he be?”

“Ubi” is a Latin word meaning “where.”

Georgina looked furious. “As if this is all about some fortune!” she shouted, swinging her sword and only barely missing the infant Baudelaire’s cheeks. “As if you don’t know what this is about, what with your parents’ role in-”

“Your parents’ role in VFD.” (as well as some crimes they committed for VFD, such as the assassination of Olaf’s parents.)

Chapter Thirty / Epilogue - in which the Baudelaires are enrolled in a School

“Next guardian?” Poe coughed. “Oh, no, I couldn’t find a single person willing to take you in after what happened to your last guardians. But I have a place to put you until I can convince someone. It’s a lovely school, one of my associates just dropped off two twin orphans there a few weeks ago.”

A reference to the fact Esme was in charge of thee Quagmire estate in book!canon, meaning she was probably left in charge of Duncan and Isadora and left them at Prufrock. Both her and Poe work in the financial sector, they could possibly know each other.

They went into the building, and Nick walked up to the first student he came across. “If I was a bathroom,” he asked, “Where would I be?”

A quote from book one of All the Wrong Questions.

Nick saying it is a lowkey reference to the fact that Movie!Klaus’s actor, Liam Aiken, narrated the audiobooks to All the Wrong Questions.

“Your new Vice Principal is waiting for you in his office. You will wait for him on the bench outside.” Poe said, taking them down a hall. “And I will see you once I have found a guardian. Please behave yourselves as you would at a normal school.” “Our normal school burned down with our parents inside.” Nick said.

The Baudelaires were homeschooled before the fire.

They all fell silent, and then Sunny looked up at Lilac. She was still tired, and she whispered, “Browning?” which meant something similar to, “Will you sing us to sleep?”

Once again, a reference to the song “Asleep”, performed by Emily Browning, Movie!Violet’s actress.

She was changing the words slightly to an old tune they used to hear on the radio when they were bored, and on a music box that was given to the boys when they were toddlers by a relative they hadn’t liked much before she was trampled by horses, and playing in a coffeeshop their Father had to duck into one time they were heading to the train station to pick up their Mother from a journey.

The relative they hadn’t liked being trampled by horses is a reference to Lemony Snicket line from The Wide Window, Part One: “The expression ‘You can't lock up the barn after the horses are gone’ was a favorite of a woman who meant a great deal to me, even after she was trampled."

There is also an implication in the last line that the Baudelaires may have been to Stain’d-by-the-Sea, stopping at Black Cat Coffee before going to the Stain’d Train Station to pick up Beatrice.

#asoue #asoue netflix #asoue movie #a series of unfortunate events #six baudelaires au #six baudelaires official fic #six baudelaires reference guide #mine #six baudelaires bonus

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sanderssidesfanfiction · 5 years ago

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We’ll Carry On - Chapter Fifty Five

We’ll Carry On Tag

General Content Warnings: Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, Substance Abuse, Abandonment, Minor Character Death, Transphobia, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Dissociation, Bullying, Homophobia

October 27th, 2019

“Hey, Jack,” Logan said, catching his boyfriend’s attention.

“What’s up, baby?” Jack asked.

Logan ignored the way his heart flew into his throat at the pet name. “What do you think we’ll do if we wind up being together for a whole year?”

Jack paused in scrolling his phone and hummed. “Well, I imagine that there’s gonna be a lot of kissing, but outside that I don’t really know. And I don’t really care, either. As long as I get to be with you and celebrate, it’s all good to me.”

Logan turned crimson. “Jack, stop it!”

“Never,” Jack vowed.

September 23rd, 2020

Logan fiddled with the bow tie he was wearing at Dee’s suggestion. He felt a little ridiculous, but he had to admit that a regular tie would have been too formal for his and Jack’s date. He slicked his hair back with a little hair gel, and gave himself a nervous smile. It didn’t seem like it had been a year that he and Jack had been together. It felt like forever and yet no time at all. It felt...right.

The doorbell ringing brought Logan out of his musings, and he hollered through the house, “I’ve got it!” He dashed down the stairs and opened the front door, to find Jack standing there with a small bouquet of duct tape flowers. “Duct tape?” Logan asked.

“They double as pens,” Jack explained, pulling one out of the small container they were in, revealing a pen cap on the bottom.

“I love it,” Logan laughed. “Thank you.”

Jack offered Logan a shy grin as Logan put the flower pens on the small table by the door. “I will tend to those after our date,” he said with a little laugh. His voice had stopped cracking by now for the most part, and his voice wasn’t super deep, but it definitely wasn’t what it used to be. He felt like a guy, and honestly, the fact that he was with Jack just made the experience that much better. Because Jack never ruined the illusion. He didn’t treat it as an illusion at all. “Where are we going, anyway? You never specified. Just that it was dress-casual.”

With a smirk, Jack gestured to the car. “You shall find out when you get in the car, Mister Picani.”

“I hate you sometimes, I hope you realize that,” Logan said with a laugh as he got into Jack’s new-to-him car. “In a joking way, of course.”

“‘Course,” Jack said, getting in the driver’s seat and setting off down the road. “Your clue is in the glove box.”

Logan sent Jack a glance when Jack grinned like he had made a particularly good pun. He opened the glove box and found two tickets for the local theatre’s production of “Clue: On Stage.” Logan was speechless for a good minute. “I...wow. That was a terrible pun, Jack.”

“I know,” Jack said with a grin. “But worth it.”

“If you say so,” Logan replied with an eye roll.

“I do say so!” Jack laughed, grabbing Logan’s hand with his free one. “I love you, I hope you know that. And I know you love me, because you put up with my puns.”

Logan shook his head. “That’s it? That’s all you see that says ‘I love you’?”

“Is there anything else?” Jack asked, glancing at him.

“Well, I always figured that you knew I was saying ‘I love you’ when I sent you pretty pictures of space that I found, or when I found a song that reminded me of you,” Logan said with a shrug. “And then there’s when we send each other selfies, or you’re upset and I send you a meme or three about the situation. Or when we hang out after school in drama club, laughing at all the younger techs who are trying so hard to be cool but have no idea what they’re doing.”

Jack smiled softly. “That’s you saying you love me?”

“Well, yeah,” Logan said. “I’m not much one for words, so I try to do smaller gestures that show you that you matter to me. I thought your love languages might be quality time and gifts? So I sent you stuff and I hang out with you whenever I can.”

“What are your love languages?” Jack asked. “So I can know what I can do to help you?”

“I generally receive love in acts of service or words of affirmation,” Logan said. “But quality time is also important to me, so I’m not sure how to rank them.”

“That’s okay, Lo, you don’t have to, I was just curious,” Jack said. “I guess neither of us are big on physical touch, huh?”

“It can get overwhelming,” Logan said. “And I know you just like to respect people’s space.”

Jack grinned at Logan as they pulled into the parking lot of the theatre. “Here’s some words of affirmation: I love you, and there’s nothing I would rather do than spend the night watching this play with you.”

Logan turned beet red and buried his head in his hands. “Jack, no,” he murmured.

“Jack yes!” Jack said with a laugh, getting out of the car and helping Logan out as well.

The two walked into the building and Jack held Logan’s hand as they showed their tickets and got to their seats. They leaned back and relaxed as the show started. Logan kept his hand intertwined with Jack’s as the characters showed up, one by one.

Slowly, as all the suspects were investigating each other, Logan let his grip on Jack’s hand grow lax, as he was completely sucked into the story. He only came back to himself when Jack stretched and wrapped his arm around Logan’s shoulder. Logan looked at Jack and rolled his eyes, sticking his tongue out. Jack grinned, held a finger to his lips, and pointed to the stage.

When the play ended, with Colonel Mustard using the lead pipe in the observatory to kill Mister Boddy, Logan and Jack clapped along with the rest of the audience as the curtain call came. Logan whistled at the end when they all took a bow, and Jack laughed, nose wrinkling up and all his teeth showing in his pure joy at Logan’s enthusiasm.

They headed out of the theatre as slowly the lights came back on. “That was so much fun!” Logan exclaimed to Jack, once they were outside again. “This was a great night!”

“It’s gonna get greater,” Jack said with a grin. “Because we still have dinner to go to.”

“Oh! Right!” Logan had forgotten about that. He was supposed to come up with a place where they could have dinner. “I know it’s not five-star cuisine, but we can head back to my house for some chicken alfredo? I made sure that Dad and Ami got all the ingredients we’d need.”

“Sounds perfect,” Jack said, kissing Logan’s nose and getting into his car.

Logan squawked indignantly and fell into Jack’s car, going on a rant about how he was a very serious man, and as a very serious man he did not get kissed on the nose.

“You do by me, so suck it up, Buttercup!” Jack said with a grin.

Logan scoffed and crossed his arms with a huff. “I’m a very serious man,” he grumbled.

“Of course you are, baby,” Jack laughed. “But I have to let you know I love and trust you somehow. What better way than that? Doing something that I wouldn’t be caught dead doing otherwise because germs and trust issues and I don’t want to get slugged.”

Logan glanced out the window. “You could just use words of affirmation and acts of service.”

“Kissing your nose isn’t an act of service?” Jack teased.

“Well...no,” Logan said, frowning.

“Really? Because that nose of yours is practically begging to be kissed,” Jack said. “I’m doing a service for every man loving man out there by kissing it.”

Logan groaned. “Stop,” he whined.

“Never,” Jack declared as they pulled up to Logan’s house.

They got inside and Logan promptly picked up the flowers and moved with them into the kitchen. Logan checked the fridge, pulling out chicken breast, before pulling pasta from the pantry, ignoring Jack’s confusion all the while. When he had retrieved all of the ingredients, he said, “Now we’ve entered the cooking part of the challenge.”

“Logan, no,” Jack laughed.

“Logan yes,” Logan retorted. “We’ve gotta figure out how to be domestic with each other eventually, hopefully before we have to worry about moving in together. And after such a fun play, don’t you think it would be fun to cook dinner, and share it, just the two of us, somewhere in this house?”

“I guess...” Jack said hesitantly. “I’m a little worried about your brothers running in on us, though.”

“We’ll be eating chicken, Jack. Not...you know?”

Jack turned cherry red in embarrassment. “Logan! Don’t talk like that!”

Logan winked at Jack before pulling out a pot and filling it with water. “A little innuendo now and again won’t hurt anyone, Jack. We’re seventeen. My dads will understand.”

“It’s not them I’m worried about,” Jack hissed, walking over to Logan and watching him fill the pot with water.

Logan rolled his eyes and put the water on to boil. “Pretty sure my brothers wouldn’t get it, Jack. Only Roman might, and he wouldn’t tell the others.”

Jack glanced around nervously, and Logan rolled his eyes, murmuring, “C’mere, you,” and kissing him softly.

In an instant, Jack was kissing him back, and Logan had to lean against the counter because Jack was making him weak at the knees. He wrapped an arm around Jack’s back to try and help himself stand again, but Jack grabbed Logan by the hips and hoisted him onto the counter. Logan shrieked softly before dissolving into a fit of giggles, Jack kissing all over Logan’s face as the water started to boil. “Okay, so, noodles?” Jack asked.

“Yup,” Logan said, watching as Jack put noodles in the pot with a pinch of salt. “We need a pan for the chicken.”

Jack reached between Logan’s legs to get to the pan...right as Dad and Ami walked in. Logan stiffened as Ami choked and Dad grew red. “This is not what it looks like!” Logan assured.

Hurriedly, Jack pulled out the pan to show to the stunned parents, and began greasing it up. “Just...just needed a pan to cook, nothing untoward was happening, or will happen tonight!”

“I should hope not, considering Logan’s room isn’t soundproof,” Ami deadpanned.

“Logan, off the counter, please,” Dad choked out.

Logan complied and scratched the back of his neck. “...Sorry.”

“Just...don’t let it happen again,” Dad said. “Especially when your brothers are in the house.”

Logan hurried to assure them that wasn’t going to be a problem, and the two adults left quickly. “...That was terrible,” Jack said.

“Agreed,” Logan replied.

They stood in silence for a bit as Jack stirred the noodles and Logan watched the chicken. Then, Jack turned to Logan and kissed his cheek with a chuckle. “This is kinda fun,” he admitted.

“Thank you,” Logan said softly. “I thought you might like it once you actually bothered to try it.”

“Cooking?” Jack asked.

“Domesticity,” Logan said.

“I resent that,” Jack grumbled.

Logan laughed and kissed Jack’s cheek in return. They plated the food once it was done and Logan looked around. “I guess...we can use the dining room? High chance of brothers, though.”

Jack shrugged. “With this kind of messy food, I wouldn’t want to eat anywhere that there’s a risk of making a mess.”

“Fair enough,” Logan conceded, and the two sat down at the table in the next room over to eat.

They ate in semi-silence for a minute, before Logan said, “I think we did a good job.”

“Agreed,” Jack said. “I’d do it again.”

“You mean that?” Logan asked, voice soft and hopeful.

Jack looked at him fondly and nodded. “Of course I mean it. I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it.”

Logan smiled. “That’s what I like about you. You know to get to the point with me, even if the point is banter.”

Jack laughed. “And that’s what I like about you. Always looking for a silver lining in the clouds.”

“What can I say?” Logan shrugged. “When I lived under so many clouds all my life, the best part of my day would be finding a silver lining. At this point, it’s just a habit I don’t really feel inclined to kick.”

“I don’t want you to kick it,” Jack said, grabbing Logan’s free hand. “You’re amazing just the way you are, Lo. You don’t have to change anything about yourself if you don’t want to. Not here. Not with me.”

Logan smiled softly. “I know.”

#we'll carry on #sanders sides fanfiction #logan sanders #our creations #danger gays

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cleaduvalls · 5 years ago

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i watched “spy kids 4″ exactly twice and i plan to keep it that way. here are my thoughts

i had the volume up from the last one because it was SO QUIET and now my ears hurt. not a great start

i used to think that was carmen and i was so disappointed because i wanted to see carmens kids 😔

tik tok????? oh no

i thought tick tock was matthew lillard for most of the movie

you cant do that in the SIMS

why are you shifitng gears. you dont need to shift gears

shut up wilbur have YOU given birth?????

YOU GO IN AT EVERY FIVE TO SEVEN MINUTES AND YOURE AT THREE ARE YOU S T U P I D

wait it sounds like ive given birth i havent i assure you

a pregnant belly wouldnt make that sound

yeah alright whatever shaggy youre high

isnt she from girl meets world??????

itd make a better sitcom honestly

hahah funney because shes a spy

WHY ARE YOU NOT IN THERE WITH YOUR W I F E

birth is NOT that short

i would be great at cinemasins

oh!!!! disabled character!!!!

who approved this show

oh like its HER fault

youre watching the clock speed up why are you not suspicious

roll credits

argonaut. my english teacher would like that

its 5 o clock somewhere

have you not been watching the show??????

there is a serious lack of floop

i feel like ive seen the boy before too

guess not

also i guess this one had a smell feature?????? ig thats why the baby farts so much

AND IT EXPLAINS THE DRESSING!!!! YOU CAN SMELL DRESSING!!!!!

dont say stepmother its creepy

ooh tinker toys!!!! real ones this time!!!!

girl its dyed blue youre gonna stain your carpet

oh God she wants to be FRIENDS

epic????? No

these pranks can all be used for smellovision

aromascope ig??????

BEING FRIENDS!!!! THATS SOME FANFIC LEVEL TROPEYNESS

oops

the CHEETOS

because you pulled the prank?????

power move

those are really your worst fears?????

i have almost that exact clock

youre looking for SPIES not VILLIANS

i kinda want a clock hand sword

MARISSA NO IM DYING OF SECONDHAND EMBARASSMENT

cecils so chill

it looks like the slime from floops castle..... i miss floop

felix has been replaced??? by a computer voice????

oh mood

hahah carmen said that

is that ricky gervais

oh!!!! they broke gender binary!!!!!! took the other chair!!!!!

worlds smallest camera!!!!!!

yeah hes right theres no invisibility powder

its not a SPACESHIP theyre not IN SPACE

hey can we maybe not put that in a movie thanks

yeah i hate this one

that fall was awful

C A R M E N!!!!!!!!!!!

wilbur youre so boring

spy week???? dont you mean shark week?????

buddypack!!!!

IS THAT THE PICTURE FROM WHERE THEY ENTERED FLOOPS CASTLE AND THEN JUNI SAW A THUMB THUMB

i watch these movies too much

except this one this one sucks

7 years ago????? when game over came out????? nice

THE BRAIN THING THAT MADE FOOGLIES!!!

SPY PLANE!!!

SEA GUPPY!!!!

CARMENS GAME SUIT!!!!

why does she still have that

HOW does she still have that

MACHETES ELECTROSHOCK GUMBALLS!!!!!!

DRAGON SPY!!!!

take that giggleses

JUNI!!!! only video tho ://

oof

WAIT I JUST SAW ARGONAUTS NAME TAG AND MY DOG HAD THAT SAME ONE BUT IN PINK AND WE HAD TO GET HER A NEW ONE BECAUSE IT WAS S O L O U D

your baby is your back up????? Bad Idea

did you not name your child????

why did they pause for a label????

stop making time puns i hate you

i really hope those are floops. like the cereal

stop calling her stepmother like its her name its CREEPY

stop WASTING them

just say youre marissas kids?????? they know who she is

oh God piss joke

oh God POOP joke

right its the bombs that make him cool not the fact that hes literally ricky gervais

and a fart joke????? i hate this movie

silent but LETHAL???? awfyl. i hate it

toot??? stop making fart jokes

OH THEYRE GETTING CHASED CUZ THE SAPPHIRE i need to pay attention more. i blame buzzfeed

“you weirdo you vaporized us” STOP TRYING TO GET ME TO LIKE THIS MOVIE BY PLAYING ON MY NOSTALGIA

its not working btw. i hate this movie

oh look. a butt joke.

oh yay disney acid trip

uh yeah???? hes ricky gervais

yeah except shes WHITE

i kinda wanna go to the cheese shop. wisconsin instincts ig

thats not a WORD

no the red ones the second hand do you know anything?????

how does she know how to army crawl???? shes EIGHT

there are 42 minutes left im suffering

oh no he died

is she wearing twinkle toes??????

did they.... teleport???? was that an awkward cut???? did they straight up travel through time????? im so confused

yknow as an OBVIOUS choice for the next doctor, floop should REALLY be in the movie centered around time

im gonna punch this dude

IM GONNA PUNCH THIS DUDE TOO YOU CAN STILL BE A FAMILY AND CALL YOURSELF STEPKIDS

hes the hulk

oh dear he referenced a meme

he just called the google lady annoying im gonna punch him next

n i c e

SHIITAKE MUSHROOMS!!!!!!

yeah theyre gonna flip youre STALKING THEM

that seems like a Bad Idea

try harder rebecca

IF YOURE GONNA TAKE THEM THERE W H A T DO YOU THINK THEYRE GONNA DO???????

dude you look like youre on crack

youre gonna divorce her because she wasnt allowed to tell you?????????

W H A T

no???? ofc not???? you have no weapons??????

DUDE CHILL SHE L I T E R A L L Y COULDNT TELL YOU

and i feel fine~

J U N I!!!!!!!!!!! FOR REALS!!!!!!!!

oh shiitake mushrooms he got kinda cute

you can???? reach into the garbage can???????

BECAUSE YOURE CHILDREN!!!!!! THEY SHUT DOWN THE SPY KIDS PROGRAM!!!!!!

i love the sound of clockwork. so soothing. that doctor who episode with the time robots???? a fave

oh no they all have died

M A C H E T E!!!!!!!!

why did juni freeze if he didnt really freeze???? thats some buzz lightyear level stuff

oh hey i just realized that junis hair is back!!

oh no now argos the hulk too

the baby looks like dora

hahah funney

HE WAS TOAST IN THE FIRST MOVIE S T O P P L A Y I N G O N N O S T A L G I A

and diaper lady???? Stop

nice censorship

can hearing aids work that well???? im no expert but i dont think they can do that?????

taking his hearing aids???? i hate this guy

R A L P H!!!!

oh!!!!!! sign language!!!!!

Even Evil Has Standards

are they trying to make me cry?? im not

you can travel through time youre just not COOL ENOUGH

oh worm????

side note i figured they were the same guy but i was so disappointed when it wasnt matthew lillard

please let this be over i need to mindlessly scroll the spy kids wiki

stop being philosophical youre wearing twinkle toes

roll credits

us???? wouldnt that be me???? or is us right??? clones are wack

yEET

oh no he died

why did he float???? did they run out of gravity?????

he moved before he touched the watch

yeah but hell see his dad again and thats the point of this whole thing????

oh no he died. for reals this time

this time???? you have 6 months

STOP👏MAKING👏TIME👏PUNS👏

i cant raise my eyebrow😔

YOU CANT DO THAT WE JUST DISCUSSED IT

thats hot

WHY DOES SHE NOT HAVE A NAME

yes bc youre a robot shut up

oh thank God its over

#spy kids #spy kids 4 #all the time in the world #sk4 #spy kids 4 spoilers #spoilers #juni cortez #carmen cortez

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sunnysynthsunshine · 6 years ago

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7th Comedy Monologue

“Hey my Cheese bags I’m back from my adventure in 1985”

“No joke if you look it up

the timeframe of days for each month this year

are the exact same as they were in 1985”

So all this “80s revival stuff” with Duran Duran and Depeche Mode touring, Petshop Boys releasing a new album, a new generation falling in love with Queen and She-Ra while the world is being messed up by a tyrannical iron lady and a talking tangerine makes a bit of sense doesn’t it?”

Even though I was born in the 2000s I’ve always loved most of the media from that decade, the gothic and upbeat synthesizer music,the cheaply made but entertaining cartoons,the video games,the basic but stylish fashion,the musicals and John Hughes films,the mix of music genres in the charts,Goth,Synth,Punk,2 Tone,Post-Punk,New Wave,Glam Metal,Alternative,Shoegaze,Hip Hop,Electronica

I was watching Saved by the Bell before Netflix even existed

Then again a lot of the shows from then were also being revived back in my day

Dal Winton was presenting game shows, Pingu replaced the scary walrus monsters with rap music, I watched or had VHS tapes of the Muppet show, Noddy, Postman Pat and Scooby Doo.

Scooby-Doo! Now that’s a show that never gets old because it never changes, anyone regardless of what generation they’re from would be able to tell you

“Oh Yeah, I remember Scooby Doo”

When you think about it Scooby Doo is quite philosophical

we are all just a gang going on our own adventures

that and the first few live-action movies are modern masterpieces

I was just browsing Twitter or Tumblr or literally anywhere on the internet only to see that screencaps were taken from the live action Scooby Doo interviews had turned into memes

*ahem*

Well,I was auditioning for the role of Velma, I could sense from the way Matthew Lillard just fully encompassed the role of Shaggy, it felt like he was Shaggy, he was our saviour as he felt his spiritual energy increase, that’s when I knew we were working with a legend

Something like that although Matthew isn’t too fond of the memes himself specifically the ones where his spiritual connections are described more like demon possession rituals

*ahem*

“Being Shaggy has led me down a path of death and destruction. I’ve killed many mortals in hope of replicating 1% of Shaggy’s being, by the end of filming I hope to become one with him”

In which Matthew responded with

*deadpan voice*

This is wrong

I mean I might also have inspirations where I feel like I can philosophically connect with them, in their performing style and personality but that’s where I draw the line

Personality? That’s a tricky subject

You could say some people have consistent personalities

People said Freddie Mercury and David Bowie were party animals who were incredible on stage with their charisma, creativity and charm but other sources have said they were relaxed, laid back people who were shy when being interviewed.

That could just be the contrast between their onstage and offstage personas but not all of us have that, even if we are all just actors in a play, hoping each day goes the right way

Some of us are punk, even if we don’t explicitly say that we are, or have the stereotypical style associated with it,a lot of us just try to be ourselves,some of us can enjoy reality shows and horror movies at the same time,some of us can enjoy One Direction and Gorillaz,some of us can love fashion but also love memes, Theatre, and 1980s aesthetics

I’d say I’m the same but sometimes my personality is all over the place

I can go from being cheerful, relaxed and happy to being dazed and clumsy or cynical or entranced and hyper-fixated to Pessimistic and Cold to Quiet and Timid to Mellow and Loud what personality traits you associate with me, however, is up to your own conclusion

call me any internet subculture stereotype and I’d be able to tell you about how I either, unfortunately, was the stereotype or I hung around people who were those stereotypes

if you said I was someone who watched Cbbc and citv you’d be right

if you said I was a classic rock enthusiast years ago and now you’d be right

if you said I used to be a cringy anime enthusiast you’d be right

if you said I was one of those theatre kids who watched Disney sitcoms you’d be right

if you said I was one of those meme posters who referenced movies like Shrek and bee movie you’d be right

Another thing punks did was and sometimes still do was creating fanzines, magazines related to their favourite band or tv show or their own opinions on what’s going in the world, nowadays you could say social media has replaced that, but publications like the Daily Mirror, The Sun and TMZ still have a presence on there,I’d say fanzines should have a revival.

The BAFTA’s also happened recently and I wasn’t impressed, then again when are awards shows anything other than beauty pageants for films anyway?

Some films deserved their awards, but some films barely got a mention, Paddington 2 wasn’t included in there or in any of the other film awards this year and Stan and Ollie got nothing…

A darn shame because that film was so well made, it felt authentic, while Stan and Ollie also have a bit of a universal following, there are still some people who probably don’t know who they are!

Before Walliams and Lucas, Before the Two Ronnies, Before Richie and Eddie

There was…Laurel and Hardy

Two moustached blokes, who in the 20s and 50s would just try to delight audiences the best way they could, through slapstick and laughter, without them, most of the world’s double acts wouldn’t exist and even Spongebob wouldn’t exist

Yep, you heard me right, all those misadventures Spongebob and Patrick would have, they were loosely based on the adventures of Laurel and Hardy, except instead of it being about a tall British man and a fat American it was about an anthropomorphic sponge and a dumb but caring starfish.

Speaking of Spongebob, there was some sad news involving Spongebob not too long ago

The creator of Spongebob, Stephen Hillenburg…had passed away from ALS

I know, it’s awful,stupid motor neuron diseases and stupid Adam Levine too,for those who don’t know there was an episode of Spongebob called Band Geeks where they ended the episode with the cast playing a song called Sweet Victory over a Superbowl type of event, for the actual super bowl Spongebob fans around the world petitioned for that song to be played in tribute for Stephen,however we got Adam Levine singing a different song instead….what a letdown

If it wasn’t for SpongeBob I and some of the rest of the new generation, wouldn’t know half the old music or old films we know now.

To let down millions of fans like that makes me sick

Honestly, I was a bit sick a few weeks ago, I’ve been sick before and hospitalized twice but this particular moment of sickness was odd

It was like any other night, I was trying to get some sleep and lucid dream, but then it happened, the shivers, the shakes the trembling aches,

Out of nowhere, I felt like an ice-cube stuck in a microwave, It was too cold but it was too warm, I eventually got to sleep but when I got up the next morning I felt sick again, sorry for disclosing those details but it was like the exorcist…

Usually, when I’m sick watching documentaries, Kitchen Nightmares or 90s films weirdly cheers me up

Speaking of films, Rocketman the Elton John movie is out and it actually looks good

It’s being directed by the guy who was the replacement director for Bo Rhap and if it ends up being brilliant I won’t be surprised, the trailer gave off Velvet Goldmine vibes, the style of composed cinematography and I’m sounding like Film Twitter, Isle of Dogs was a good film…oh wait it wasn’t acknowledged much by the award shows either.

Another amazing film I recently watched was Rocky Horror…I know I’ve mentioned it before but that was when I only knew the sequel and some of the soundtrack,

It was amazing, it was brilliant, it was fantastic, it was out of this world,

ah! Rocky Horror was splendid

I definitely now understand why it’s still going strong to this day

It’s that hybrid of rock and roll, optimistic nihilism and soft aesthetics

That just works for me, another thing I’ve remembered was that Richard O’ Brien played the dad in Phineas and Ferb, well that explains that part of me liked that cartoon for the music and some of the characters but other characters did my head in like that Isabel character

“Hey, Phineas what ya dooing?”

“How about you let me finish my invention and you mind your own business”

Oof that’s too harsh…but considering aspects of the marvel Phineas and Ferb crossover were surprisingly a bit sexist at times outdated for the show that is usually quite progressive in its representation and characters…it’s probably accurate

Another person who hasn’t changed but is also often harsh, Piers Morgan, a little tweety bird told me he had a mysterious illness, good riddance I’d say, he’s the new Noel Edmonds, the presenter who used to be ok but now is unbearable…because he never shuts up

Thankfully though he’s “taking a break” from GMB that will rest our eardrums

Russell Brand has also been in the tabloids again, even though he’s more focused on his Buddhist spiritual recovery enlightening, looking back he wasn’t as bad as people described him, yeah at times he was a bit too over the top,but he was and is quite an ok bloke, but I’d say temporarily banning tickling is a bit of a stretch,

when you think about the number of people who disrespect our literal and figurative personal space on a daily basis, it kinda makes a bit of sense,

whether your sensory sensitive or not, I’m sure you hate it, when people are too touchy at times

although years ago I would’ve been a bit of an ignorant hypocrite about that

Hating it when crowds of kids would chase me like how the paparazzi chase their next gossip target, yet often annoyingly running up to people to talk to or entertain them.

I really need to learn to enjoy loneliness more because I get some of my best ideas when alone, but emotionally I feel a lot better when around others, a bit of an Ambivert really,

I’m sorry I can be a bit all over the place, I’m trying to make my energy more manageable

as that lucid dreaming thing has been misused at times,

I shouldn’t let myself be controlled…

by anyone or anything..no overthinking, no overworking,

treat the world as your stage, start your first act, motivated and ready, take your recharging interval breaks and then move on for your second act

fancy that me an ex-drama student making that metaphor when my current course involves digitally drawing art, editing audio and sitting at a computer for most of the day

But then again just because someone shows good charisma that doesn’t always mean their a good person.

Ted Bundy, one of America's most notorious serial killers used charisma and charm in his court cases, and with the amount of fangirls giving him fanmail it was like the Beatles fandom but for people with Stockholm syndrome,and now with Netflix’s documentary and Troy from High School Musical in an upcoming film about him, that seems to be repeating itself…

*Alien voice* Ted Bundy the 1960s called they want your fangirls back!

One show I know you probably haven’t heard of is The Boondocks, a south park esque cartoon with an anime esque art style, referencing the social commentary of African American culture and media, celebrating some aspects while critiquing others, through the lenses of a socialist boy named Huey Freeman, his rapper wannabe brother Riley and their activist grandad Robert.

This show was quite revolutionary,it referenced the issue of each episode quite well, even though it only lasted 4 seasons, however, because the show is quite American, apart from the animation which is done in Korea,The Boondocks is not well known in the UK, which is a shame because it is a really good show that still holds up…however, it does fall under one mousetrap that most other adult cartoons fall into….

Because of the references to violence,innuendo and other dark subject matter sometimes referenced in a satirically humorous way,some audiences would just watch the show because it’s offensive thinking that the show was made just to be offensive..instead of what the show was actually made for..which was to give social commentary on the issues relevant to African American communities in America.

I had watched this show years ago, it only just came back on my radar, because the creator Aaron McGruder, who based the show off his webcomic of the same name, had recently made a new issue.

There’s a difference between being satirical and being offensive

Your either making fun of something bad that a system or people are doing to make people aware of how stupid and sad the world can be at times,subjectively making fun of a stereotype, or your an arse who thinks they’re a comedian when they waste their time on social media, thinking they’re amazing and funny when they’re holding up the line at Mcdonald’s and the only people laughing at their jokes are gammon and people who found Bernard Manning funny

“Oh Wait”

I know sometimes I have unpopular opinions such as how my views of someone dip depending on their views of Kanye West

and sometimes I can be a bit snarky, and I hate and love stuff in equal amounts, but we need a bit of that don’t we, if we bottle it all up we explode like volcanos, but if we overshare too much, we crash like out of control cars

It’s all about moderation, salt is a tasty condiment but eat too much of it and your arteries will get clogged,

A few days back it was the day Mark Ashton passed away, for those who don’t know,he was an LGBT activist in the 80s,he volunteered with organizations such as the Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament,he and the other activists helped to support the miners during the miner strike, creating the LGSM Alliance,Lesbians and Gays Support the Miners,there was a film made about them too, called Pride,but what some people don’t know is that….Mark Ashton was Northern Irish…he was one of us..he was the Marsha P Johnson of our time..if we were a bit like Mark Ashton this country would be a slightly more accepting place, why don’t we give love!

Let’s move on, plant more flowers in our garden..I know I sound like a hippie but it’s true, our Celtic Summerland is being used as a cesspool for Nuclear Waste

Oi! use your own bins, not the place we’re living in, pick up your rubbish and clean up your own mess…

The 80s were telling us something with all those protect and survive adverts, yes some of us were prepared as the older generation made us alert, others couldn’t recognize that a lot of innocent people were getting hurt.

When we say we want a 1980s comeback we want the music, clothes, games and films,

but Nope

while we have some of that the 1980s revival we get is the one that involves Nuclear Danger and the ghost of Margaret Thatcher

All these TV and Film revivals, some are cool others are just unnecessary Do we really need a Snow White sequel? No, we don’t but we did get one even if it was unofficial

Back in 2007 a French animation company made a sequel to Snow White which was also a bit like Shrek in how it satirised the fairy tale tropes, how Prince Charming feels like he is objectified while he ends up doing the same thing to the female characters, quite a tosser but that’s the point of the parody to point out the flaws with fairy tale logic, and to put the likes of Snow White, Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella in more realistic scenarios.

…it’s strange, weird but brilliant too

The English dub had quite a few familiar faces doing the character voices

Stephen Fry as the narrator, Morwenna Banks, Simon Greenall and another British actor

Rik someone...

Ah! I remember his name now, he was in many successful sitcoms in the 80s and 90s,he was a legend, he knew how to keep people laughing, whether they were children, adults, teenagers,

in television, theatre, film or music

quite an eclectic range of talent

Although

I’m a new fan, I might adore his work, but I had just learnt his name 2 years ago, whereas, with other fans, they have created their own work, such as Charlie Brooker and Simon Pegg… some were able to meet him…lucky...

Some encounters were quite interesting, I had heard someone’s nan got to meet him in the 90s but she got his name wrong so she ended up saying

“‘oh hello can I have your autograph please Mr mayo?’

Well that happened, she probably still got that autograph,...

And somewhere up there, Rik Mayall is thinking of us, he, Stephen Hillenburg and David Bowie are probably chatting away

Let’s make the lord of misrule proud

#comedy #comedy monologue #1980s #original monologue

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megbox · 7 years ago

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hello tumblr blog :) i interrupt reblogs of shitposts and memes for a personal update on my life that i’m sure anyone who stumbles upon this cares very much about.

Ich lerne Deutsch! Es ist sehr schwer und ich kenne nur Grundlagen. Aber ich lerne... langsam aber sicher. I’ve been continuing to study the German language after I realized I knew more of it than I do any other language, and it helps me relax while maintaining this “must... always... be... doing... something” attitude that plagues me. It’s very hard. And mein Grammatik ist sehr schlect (very bad). I practice mainly by taking orders at work in German. Listen in English, write on my notepad in German, and make note of any words I don’t know. This helped somewhat but now I just know a lot of words for different meats and vegetables. But I chat with Felix and he’ll type to me in half German/half English to help me learn new words. And he’ll correct me when I’m wrong. It was especially awesome this weekend in Banff running into some German tourists at the bar and explaining to them, in German, that “Ich bin ausgegangen ein Deutsch Junge und er mich geholfen einige Grundlagen lernen” or... I dated a German boy and he helped me to learn some basics. AND THEY UNDERSTOOD ME. Side note: I really enjoy that Felix and I still stay in contact and chat as friends and like keep one another updated on our lives and it’s not like a romantic thing anymore even though we flirt lmao but it’s more just like hey look I think I may have made a lifelong friend :) Funny how die Erde funktioniert.

School is back in full force. I am having difficulty getting into work mode after Christmas break given that Christmas break was a profoundly wonderful experience. This semester is full of group projects and I’m actually quite excited about them. My work for the semester entails:

Designing a program of our choice to serve the needs of our community, creating a presentation and proposal to outline what this program does and why it deserves to exist. Our group came up with the idea for a specific program to assist children under the age of 13 in grieving for a loved one by explaining death, finality, chronic illness etc. in an age-appropriate manner and assisting them with coping. We tied it in to Calgary by referencing the opioid epidemic.

Planning and simulating a group session! Our group has chosen to research and plan out an introductory mental health education group for youth 12-17 diagnosed with bipolar disorder to help them prepare to manage a chronic mental illness and connect with existing community resources.

I have to write a grant proposal! Just for an assignment, not to actually be submitted, but I have two massive ideas that I need to grapple with.

And conducting a 1-hr workshop on an assigned topic for Practice with Communities. My assigned topic - I really lucked out - is “working with the media.” HELLO. Going to slay this.

So yes social work is busy and challenging in many ways. Somewhere amongst all of this I must obtain a practicum placement. What even.

What else. Oh. Lately I have become a voracious consumer of the art form known as the podcast. I have always been a fan of podcasts mainly through my brother but lately... my god... the floodgates have opened. I started taking public transit everywhere to save myself money both in gas and parking tickets and these bus rides/train rides/waiting for the bus moments have become these wonderful, quiet sacred times when I just turn on a podcast and fucking LEARN ABOUT SOMETHING. Right now I am obsessed with one called “This is Actually Happening” in which people tell stories of extraordinary, absolutely unbelievable things that happened to them in their lives. I listened to one today about a guy who, after experiencing a dark period of addiction and general fuckery, moves to the west coast of the US and ends up joining a psychedelic therapy cult and he talks about his experience moving through a group who depends on drugs and talks about how they chase experiences... I listened to it today and it blew my fucking mind. HIGHLY, highly highly highly recommend. Some random other recommendations: My Dad Wrote a Porno (honestly so funny. My entire family listened to many episodes on our drive to Saskatoon over Christmas... we were all dying laughing), and Jake and Amir’s “If I Were You.” I also love Beautiful Stories from Anonymous People. AND the crown jewel that is “Guys We Fucked: The Anti Slut-shaming Podcast” There are so many good ones. God fucking damnit. Get out there. LISTEN TO PODCASTS.

Aaaand my manager gave me five shifts next week which is like... too much but I think it’s only for next week since another coworker is on vacation and ugh whatever I’ll have to make it work for a week but wowowow I am busy and I go to bed at like 10:00pm (10:30 if I’m feeling extra spicy) and life is busy but I’m happy and fucking thriving honestly. Bring it the fuck on.

#text #personal #wow this was a big update #me blathering on about nothing

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colorisbyshe · 8 years ago

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The Long Ass Story about Stephanie’s Dead Dad, The Memes about Him, and A Gay(?) Love Story that Ripped off Patroclus and Achilles

Okay! So, before I start the story I really need to clarify--I don’t know how my dad being dead became a meme. But like... we totally memed about him being dead. Like he was dead and I know how that happened... but I don’t know how it got to the point where 20+ people were regularly referencing my dead dad... like on a daily basis.

But OH did we meme about it. Room got cold? “Stephanie’s dad is here!” Someone made an inappropriate joke about slapping someone with a dildo? “Sorry Stephanie’s dad!” Someone fucked up? “I’m going straight to hell.” “Say hi to my dad!”

He was a lovely man, didn’t deserve a squadron of shitty college kids referencing his tragic death that happened over a decade before but... shit happens. Idk.

So, like, anyways, these jokes have been happening for a year when I remember one essential detail that I thought would spice up the whole “Lmao Dead Dad” memes which were going a bit stale--my mom had my dad cremated into two separate cubes, one of which was buried in our backyard.

There’s two problems with this: One being the fact that my dad never lived here, ever. This is the house we bought after my mother married the man my dad got into a literal brawl with (restraining orders were involved) a year after my dad died.

The second being WHERE in the backyard he is buried. We don’t have a classy person backyard. What we have is a garden, a broken down shed, an inflatable kiddy pool that we put up in the summer, and a patio with a garden next to it.

My dad is buried in patio garden... next to the swimming pool. And really it just gets worse from there. (Read more for length)(I promise it does get gay.)

See, my dad is buried there under a nice hand painted grave stone but he shared the garden not with beautiful flowers but with a tomato patch... that my mother eats from. Also, we buried our pets there. But not like beloved pets, like cats, but like... the hermit crab that died by somehow crawling down the stairs.

So my dad’s corpse is rooomates with a tomato patch WHICH PEOPLE EAT FROM and a fucking hermit crab and maybe some beta fish. Or maybe we flushed those, whatever.

Oh! AND a glow in the dark JESUS on a stick my mom put there?? Which was only a jesus because the glow in the dark celtic cross broke. Yeah...

Anyways, so, eventually I share this GREAT information with all the memers and people believe me for the most part. But one week my mom comes up to visit and I’m like MOM TELL EVERYONE ABOUT DAD BEING DEAD because I love to have receipts for all my information! My mother is a strange woman (if you couldn’t tell by the whole... bury ashes in the backyard thing) and she’s just like “this isn’t even the weirdest thing you’ve asked of me this year” and relaxes in a chair and tells my friends.

And we go through a checklist--Backyard? Yup. Tomato patch? Yup. Do the tomatoes taste weird? Nope. Dead aquatic pets? Yup. Jesus? Yuuup.

But my mom decides to drop some brand new fucking information into the mix.

“Oh, yeah, and his ashes are mixed with his best friend’s.”

Fresh out of my mythology class, thinking of gaylords Patroclus and Achilles, I panic and blurt out, “THAT’S GAY!”

And my mom is just chill and like, “yup, sounds about right” and that’s like... the end of the conversation?? She doesn’t expound on what she meant or like if I actually inherited my gayness from my father. She just chills for a second and goes back to her hotel.

There ended up being a less gay explanation for why this happened but it legit took over 6 months for my mother to explain it. So for six whole months I told everyone I knew about my possibly illegally buried dad in my backyard and the mystery about his gay best friend.

And even tho I have the hetero explanation, I still don’t understand why my dad had his best friend’s ashes with him all the time anyways. So it’s still pretty fucking gay.

So, yeah, welcome to my twisted backyard.

#brehaaorgana

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jimmymutz-blog · 5 years ago

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I write this as my head beats under pressure. Maybe it’s an aneurism. Maybe it’s a headache. Whatever it is it is

I don’t really care if I die. My life is pretty lackluster. I’d only be sad because my mom would be sad. I don’t feel bad about writing this because no one I know follows this anyways. I don’t think anyone follows this at all.

Will this even be read? Will it be doomed to the databases of tumblr until they shut down a hundred years from now? Maybe they’ll lose all their data or clean it out well before that, why not start with the less significant posts.

If I’m a flagbearer for anything it’s technology. But it’s only in my head where I can imagine an assistant that uses voice, vision systems and your own active programming to cater it to your needs. Maybe people will make fun of you for being run by algorithms. But what’s a schedule if not a shitty algorithm that’s only as good as the human using it. High profile assistants get paid just to schedule your day and remember the food you like. I could definitely go for Indian right now though.

This page was supposed to be sciency. And get me discovered and a nice job but those odds are pretty shitty. I’m a pretty lazy guy. Probably because I don’t think people can really make an impact. Like in general. Society or civilization as a whole will pretty much bow to time and be lost to the sands. Most geniuses go undiscovered anyways, at least for a while. No idea is really that novel, someone’s come up with it before. Someone’s lived the life you lead or at least a close analogy to it.

Out of 7 billion people with societies being generally the same the odds of someone being pretty much like you is pretty high I’d say. If this other person is at a standstill right now then I’d say hell were pretty much the same.

I don’t have a say in much. I am nothing. And if you’re reading this you’ll be like ‘hey no don’t say that’ but newsflash. You’re nothing either. And nothing from nothing makes nothing my friend. I learned that from billy Preston.

Music is beautiful. Art is really where it’s at. To be able to make people feel stuff. As analytical as I am I love me some good art. My favorite forms are music, films, maybe some writing but reading usually bores me.

I guess the best you can hope for is for someone to share this meaningless existence with. And make the most of it.

Who gives a shit about jobs. You need money yeah but your job probably doesn’t contribute a lot. Maybe it’s inspiring or life changing to others but like I said. It all fades out baby.

Like it all fades to black. Why are humans the only ones privileged with the concept of a heaven. Why did all the prophets speak to a god. How does god have a voice. Or resemble people in any way. Is there a Jesus for mice? Why not. Why are people so special to be gifted with a soul. Plus if you act out you go to hell.

What’s hell anyways. Eternal suffering? Scary things at every corner? I feel like if you’re there for eternity it becomes business as usual at some point. I think we all just fade into oblivion. But like explain this conscious experience I’m having now. Wtf is this? Wtf comes after this? Why do all my questions come in twos?? Who knows!

Tumblrs pretty rad for letting me rant like this. Thanks tums. You’re really what I was looking for in this time of need before I might die in my sleep because pressure in my brain. I’m probably fine. I’ll live. I always have. (Favorite catchphrase right there).

How can I be paid to be a philosopher? I’m not very sexy or hard working. Maybe I could do something big and live off that forever. More likely than not I’ll be doing some boolshit for a while. One of those meaningless jobs we spoke about before. Just so I can do some bullshit for someone doing some bullshit and so one.

I think a form of communism would be good. Like technological communism where everyone can know everything about everyone. Sounds pretty shitty actually. But like if everyone’s open and understands that we’re all fading into oblivion then maybe it won’t be so shitty. I could satisfy human desires with someone else who wants to then we can go help design cutting edge technology that everyone’s contributing to.

Maybe we don’t even need communism for that. Maybe there’s something out there right now that I want but I have no idea about it. Maybe it would take me and three other people who live within a stones throw of me to make our lives as happy as can be. And we can be technologically equipped cyborgs or bionic people and explore the world and wilderness and live off the land as apex beings.

I just want a system that’ll track everything I do so I can see how many times I beat my dick a day. Also the videos I watch. Also the memes I like. This and that and the food I eat. How many strokes it takes me to brush my teeth. How much toothpaste I used in said interaction. How does that translate to oral health yada yada yada. All that good stuff.

I’m mad that I’m not very marketable. Like I’m inventive, imaginative, resourceful, a quick thinker, a mediocre lover. I’m valuable dad gummit. (New favorite catchphrase). But I don’t wanna spend time learning these things people made. I just wanna learn facts and be able to apply them ASAP. I don’t wanna learn this new software that’s specifically made for this one action. I want a general software that’s good in general at being general. I want it to get the job done. Everything is basically the same processes over and over.

So that would mean I need a computer that uses computers and tracks what I do and is able to do the processes I would do. Ha! That’s it. And I’ll make a thesis out of it and get a PhD and everyone will love me and I’ll run for mayor and lead my people into a brighter technological future. Jk fuck u. That sounds tough and far fetched. And I’m the fucking king of that.

I quickly think of stuff but then I deliberately stop thinking about it because I see two ways of it happening. Either I can be enhanced with software to do it or fuck around with a pen and paper. And I don’t know software and I don’t wanna use pen and paper so I say fuck it and quickly move onto the next thing. But I’m iterative. My head revolves around these ideas. And I do write them down! That’s for sure. But like going back and referencing them? Eh not so much. Because having a looo up engine, which is basically the best part of machine learning, and being able to give attributes to things is a big software thing. Like I can make a machine with some rotatey parts and stuff parts and boom. Whatever I want. I just need to know how to fashion said things together and then take them apart to make the next thing. Blah blah blah. I’m starting to get bored of my GENIUS again.

I think that everyone is a genius at some point or another. Like if we all conglomerate our ideas together we could make something badass. But like we can’t so fuckit.

I’m probably not gunna read this shit. It’s long. Comment if you did! I’ll give you a little thumbs up and maybe even reply and maybe we can even be friends. But I doubt anyone’s gunna see this random account with a random purpose. Just so I can write in it and share my random thoughts. At least that’s what it is now

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theconservativebrief · 6 years ago

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When Ariana Grande tells you she’s going to be just fine, believe her.

The sentient cupcake with a four-octave range says as much in her bouncy new kiss-off song, “thank u, next” — a farewell letter to all the men she’s loved before. And the most recent addition to that list is her ex-fiancé, Saturday Night Live cast member Pete Davidson.

The two were in love until they weren’t.

Grande and Davidson first announced their relationship in May, shocked everyone with an engagement announcement in June, and then, in the middle of October, called the whole thing off. That’s seemingly plenty of fodder for a break-up bop, but Davidson’s post-breakup behavior added some edge to the saga.

In a promotional clip for SNL’s November 3 show, Davidson used the breakup as a punchline, facetiously proposing to that week’s musical guest, Maggie Rogers:

[embedded content]

Grande didn’t see the humor in the situation, revealing as much in a series of subtweets. “For somebody who claims to hate relevancy u sure love clinging to it huh,” she wrote, without mentioning Davidson. She followed up with “thank u, next” and “k, that’s the last time we do that” before ultimately deleting them all.

The SNL promo and Grande’s tweets both made headlines, as many people wondered aloud whether Davidson would further address the breakup on the show. And then, ahead of the SNL episode, Grande tweeted hints about a new album and song that would reference Davidson and the breakup:

The displeasure in Grande’s deleted tweets, along with the tease of a new song and the potential for Davidson to make more awkward jokes, amped up anticipation for SNL.

Then, 30 minutes before the episode premiered, Grande released “thank u, next.”

[embedded content]

But the biggest surprise was the content of the song itself. Grande’s tweets might have set everyone up to expect a thrashing laced with pettiness, but “thank u, next” was actually a pump-fake. Far from the overt diss track many expected, the song was more about finding love with in herself:

I met someone else We havin’ better discussions I know they say I move on too fast But this one gon’ last ’Cause her name is Ari And I’m so good with that.

For his part, Davidson did comment on the breakup during SNL, gracefully acknowledging Grande during the show’s Weekend Update and saying, “She’s a wonderful, strong person, and I genuinely wish her all the happiness in the world.”

Though, after Grande’s power move, Davidson’s response was an afterthought (especially after he drew backlash for jokes on another topic entirely).

The 25-year-old Grande followed up the song release with a tweet on Sunday morning, echoing the idea that she is truly grateful:

thank u ♡ for hearing me and for making me feel so not alone i truly am grateful. no matter how painful! i’m thankful and i love u. breathin visual this week too! thank u, next pic.twitter.com/Qq62vjM0gI

— Ariana Grande (@ArianaGrande) November 5, 2018

Churning out hits is what we’ve come to expect from Grande, but what makes her a remarkable pop star isn’t just that “thank u, next” is a great song but also the latest example of Grande’s toughness and grace in the face of personal tragedy.

A year and a half ago, in May 2017, a suicide bomber attacked a concert that Grande was performing in Manchester. This September, just a few months into her now-ended engagement with Davidson, Grande’s ex-boyfriend Mac Miller died of a drug overdose — and a faction of his fans blamed her for his death.

Through all of this, Grande has handled herself with grace. After the Manchester attack, she hosted a benefit concert that raised $13 million for the We Love Manchester Emergency Fund. This summer, she released an album called Sweetener, which drew raves — some critics called it the pop album of the year. After Miller’s death, she paid tribute to him in a way that felt genuine and honest:

She also honors Miller in “thank u, next” — a key reason why the song, which is the sonic equivalent of strawberry champagne, heart emojis, and bubble bath, is so illustrative of her arc as a performer. Like Grande herself, beneath its sweetness is a story of empowerment, resilience, and maturity. That’s a rarity in this age of pop culture where taking the low, petty road has been praised. And it’s what makes Grande a breath of fresh air, and an unforgettable pop star.

“Petty” has become a default setting for pop culture.

It is now commonplace for many public figures to respond to any slight or a perceived wrong by shining a spotlight on it, forming a grudge, and then dragging whoever wronged them at the next appropriate opportunity. Bonus points are available to anyone who can pull this off exclusively through the use of oblique innuendo, without naming names.

Taylor Swift has spun pettiness into some pretty successful songs, and turned her 2017 album Reputation into a scavenger hunt for mentions of all her feuds. Drake has done the same, referencing beefs at his concerts and taking shots at his rivals in songs that are seemingly written and shipped overnight. Armie Hammer insulted a journalist who dared to write a negative thinkpiece about his acting career.

Usually, these moments of pettiness are escalated and egged on by thousands of fans, who delight in watching celebrities bicker with each other.

So after Grande had expressed her displeasure at Davidson’s jokes and then teased the release of “thank u, next,” there was an anticipation that the song would reveal some less-than-flattering things about Davidson. In the end, the true surprise was how sweet it was:

Thought I’d end up with Sean But he wasn’t a match Wrote some songs about Ricky Now I listen and laugh Even almost got married And for Pete I’m so thankful Wish I could say thank you to Malcolm Cause he was an angel

Grande’s lyrics refer to four of her ex-boyfriends: Big Sean, Ricky Alvarez, Davidson, and Mac Miller. She comments on each relationship, but without any insults or low blows. Sean, for example, simply “wasn’t a match.” And no matter how ill-advised her whirlwind love affair with Davidson might have seemed to many of her fans (not least because it involved moving into a Manhattan apartment but living without forks), Grande specifically says that she’s “thankful” for him.

But it’s what she says about Miller that helps drive home the spirit of “thank u, next.” The disarming way she refers to him as Malcolm, acknowledging his death and his soul, is arguably more scintillating, tender, and newsworthy than anything about Davidson in the song.

Grande also sings about what she’s learned from each of these past relationships, and how they’ve made her a better person:

One taught me love One taught me patience And one taught me pain Now, I’m so amazing.

She doesn’t credit the love, patience, or pain to any of her exes in particular. And by the end of the chorus, it’s clear she’s ready to move on. At its core, “thank u, next” isn’t about Grande dissing her ex-boyfriends, it’s about Grande embracing herself.

This theme continues through the bridge, where Grande sings sweetly about getting married someday — something she only wants to do once:

One day I’ll walk down the aisle Holding hands with my mama I’ll be thanking my dad ’Cause she grew from the drama Only wanna do it once, real bad Gon’ make that shit last God forbid something happens Least this song is a smash

The result is the “sweetest, the sanest, and also, gloriously, the most cutting diss track of an especially cutting year” according to the Ringer’s Rob Harvilla, who argues that Grande’s maturity and cogency are what gives the song power — that in “thank u, next,” she’s showing that she doesn’t need to trash Davidson to prove that she’s better off without him.

“It’s a generosity rarely spotted these days, when it is so much more tempting to clap back with vinegar instead of honey,” Quinn Moreland wrote at Pitchfork. “The high road might not be the easiest path, but Grande offers to lead us there by her own example.”

“While Grande could’ve released a scathing track, she dropped one that was, instead, respectful and mature,” Amanda Arnold explained at The Cut.

Her fans responded immediately, replaying the song over and over. It shot up to the top of the Spotify US and Global Charts, tallying 8 million global daily plays and breaking the company’s single-day streaming record for a female artist. It made waves on Twitter, where, according to a company representative, the phrase “thank u, next” was tweeted over 1.5 million times in just a few days. Justin Bieber called it his favorite song. It even inspired a meme:

And now it’s in contention to debut at No. 1 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart.

Pop stars and the industry that creates them are salespeople. And more and more, a huge part of the sale isn’t just how a pop star looks (with some glaring exceptions, it’s difficult to find an unattractive pop star) but rather the image he or she has crafted.

Beyoncé sells a power fantasy in untouchable excellence and relentless dedication. Taylor Swift sells an underdog story, having gone a Girl Next Door type to girl squad leader to revenge monger. Lady Gaga is a creature of transformation.

And the question underneath all this imagecraft is whether we’re ever seeing the “real” version of who pop stars are versus the narrative of they’re selling.

When Beyoncé sings about Jay Z’s alleged cheating, how much of that is a measured move by a singer notorious for controlling her image, her albums, and even Anna Wintour? When Taylor Swift sings about Kanye’s crooked stage, or about a paper airplane necklace in reference to Harry Styles, is she conveying genuine feelings of revenge or longing, or have her lyrics been carefully calculated to send a specific message and appease an audience?

We could ask the same kinds of questions about Grande and her whirlwind love affair with Davidson.

Grande’s relationship with Davidson began in May, and their engagement was confirmed on June 15. The relationship seemingly materialized in the short period of time between Grande releasing two new singles — “no tears left to cry” on April 20 and “the light is coming” on June 20. Pre-orders of Sweetener began the same week that the latter song came out, five days after the couple confirmed their engagement.

Grande and Davidson’s relationship (which has since been portmanteau’d by some into “Grandson”) and the abruptness of their engagement drove interest in the album, which also contains a song named after him. And even with the dissolution of the relationship, public interest in the couple’s breakup is helping Grande sell music.

Grandson could be either the most convenient and album-friendly relationship ever, or a savvy publicity stunt.

With so much intrigue swirling, there was a question of whether Sweetener would be all about the Grandson relationship, offering more details about the inner lives of Grande and Davidson. Perhaps Sweetener was going to be fairy tale love song performed by a princess who had finally found “the one.”

But just like “thank u” turned out to be a love song from Grande to herself, what Sweetener turned out to be was an album of resilience.

Sweetener was not about Davidson but rather a glimpse into Grande’s response, at times a joyous one, to the tragedy that changed her life.

On May 22, 2017, after Grande finished performing at Manchester Arena, a suicide bomber attacked the concert, killing 22 people and injuring 59 more — a tragedy that completely eclipses her relationship with Davidson.

“It’s the absolute worst of humanity,” Grande told Time one year later, in May 2018 in an interview about Sweetener. That’s why I did my best to react the way I did. The last thing I would ever want is for my fans to see something like that happen and think it won.”

The critically lauded album was a triumph, but it’s easy to imagine how difficult it was for Grande to make and sing songs about her life in the wake of the attack.

Perhaps that’s where the undeniable, winsome appeal of Grande lies: beyond her catchy songs and in how she has consistently proved that she’s a lilliputian pop princess with the toughness of a tank.

As with any pop star, you don’t have to agree with what Grande is singing about, whether it be sex or God being a woman or both. But you can admire the guts it takes to keep singing after the rough year that she’s been through. And in “thank u, next,” when she sings about picking herself up and believing in herself after a breakup, that’s something we all want to believe in.

Original Source -> Ariana Grande’s greatest asset isn’t her amazing voice. It’s her resilience.

via The Conservative Brief

#IFTTT #The Conservative Brief

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theconservativebrief · 6 years ago

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On Sunday, President Donald Trump said that many women were “extremely happy” with the confirmation of Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court, despite the sexual assault allegations against him.

“They’re thinking of their sons, they’re thinking of their husbands, their brothers, their uncles, and others,” Trump said.

It’s become a common refrain — the #MeToo movement, critics claim, is leading to an epidemic of false accusations against men. And over the course of the last few months, that refrain acquired a hashtag: #HimToo.

As Vox’s Aja Romano notes, the hashtag gained new attention earlier this week when Twitter user BlueStarNavyMom3 used it to claim that the #MeToo movement had made her son unwilling to go on “solo dates” with women — and her son, Pieter Hanson, joined Twitter to politely correct her.

That was my Mom. Sometimes the people we love do things that hurt us without realizing it. Let’s turn this around. I respect and #BelieveWomen . I never have and never will support #HimToo . I’m a proud Navy vet, Cat Dad and Ally. Also, Twitter, your meme game is on point. pic.twitter.com/yZFkEjyB6L

— Pieter Hanson (@Thatwasmymom) October 9, 2018

BlueStarNavyMom3’s initial tweet inspired a lot of funny memes, but the exchange also prompted a serious discussion about the role of men in the #MeToo era. Trump and others appear eager to pit men against women, implying that taking claims of sexual misconduct seriously means unjustly ruining men’s lives.

But men aren’t just the subject of misconduct allegations — they also experience sexual assault and harassment at significant rates. One in six men has experienced sexual violence involving physical contact in his lifetime, according to data from the Centers for Disease Control. As Amanda Wallwin, chief of staff for New York State Assembly Member Dan Quart, tweeted, men are probably more likely to be assaulted than falsely accused.

Our cultural expectations around sex and masculinity, however, lead to a lack of awareness of sexual violence against men. “A lot of people colloquially just see this sort of thing as something that happens to women,” Seth Stewart, director of development and communications at 1in6, a group that offers resources for male-identified survivors of unwanted sexual experiences, told Vox.

#HimToo could make matters worse. The hashtag is a symptom of a misconception that’s spread as part of the backlash to the #MeToo movement: the idea that false accusations are just as serious a problem as actual sexual misconduct. This false equivalency not only misrepresents the prevalence of false accusations — by presenting sexual assault as something women report and men are accused of, it could perpetuate myths that hurt male survivors.

It’s not just Harvey Weinstein: More than 250 powerful people have been accused of sexual misconduct. Here’s the list.

The hashtag #HimToo has been around since at least 2015, Emma Grey Ellis reports at Wired, and it wasn’t always political — initially, it “referred to any male who was also doing something” — “if you went to go get froyo with your boyfriend, you might tweet ‘I love Pinkberry. #HimToo.’” After the #MeToo movement gained steam in October 2017, some began using #HimToo to call out men for sexual misconduct — and, occasionally, to draw attention to issues facing male survivors. But by sometime earlier this year, it was used to refer to false accusations.

Members of the anti-feminist subreddit Men Going Their Own Way started using the hashtag this summer, Ellis notes — it cropped up in posts like this one, referencing an Associated Press story about a former police officer freed from prison after the woman who accused him of rape admitted she lied in her testimony. (Incidentally, the woman maintains that the officer really did rape her when she was 13 years old; her “lie,” she says, was telling the court she had never been sexually active before, when in fact her stepfather had sexually assaulted her.) In early October, it began to appear on Twitter in reference to the allegations against Kavanaugh.

The real breakout moment for #HimToo, though, was BlueStarNavyMom3’s tweet (her account has since been deleted) on October 6:

BlueStarNavyMom3 via Twitter

The tweet tapped into a larger narrative emerging alongside #MeToo: the notion that false allegations are rampant. Trump has fed this narrative for months, tweeting in February, “Peoples lives are being shattered and destroyed by a mere allegation. Some are true and some are false. Some are old and some are new. There is no recovery for someone falsely accused — life and career are gone. Is there no such thing any longer as Due Process?”

But his rhetoric kicked into high gear after allegations against Kavanaugh by Christine Blasey Ford and others became public. “It’s a very scary time for young men in America when you can be guilty of something you may not be guilty of,” he said on October 2. “This is a very difficult time.”

Asked if had a message for young women as well, he said, “Women are doing great.”

He wasn’t the only one. Presidential counselor Kellyanne Conway said on Sunday that during the Kavanaugh confirmation fight, women in America saw a man suffering from “political character assassination, and also we looked up at him and saw possibly our husbands, our sons, our cousins, our coworkers, our brothers.”

On the day Ford and Kavanaugh testified before the Senate Judiciary Committee, right-wing activist Laura Loomer tweeted that “men aren’t safe in America anymore.”

If you have a son, make sure you buy him a note pad, a body camera, & a recording device. Get him a battery pack too so he can always protect himself with video evidence of every single encounter he has with a woman.

Men aren’t safe in America anymore.

There is a war on men.

— Laura Loomer (@LauraLoomer) September 27, 2018

To hear Loomer and others tell it, American men are suffering from an onslaught of false accusations. And Trump’s comments implied that such accusations were an even bigger problem than sexual assault itself. This is the larger picture of which #HimToo forms a particularly visible part.

Despite Trump’s remarks, false allegations of sexual assault are rare: Experts estimate that between 2 and 8 percent of sexual assault reports are false. As Salon’s Amanda Marcotte points out, not everyone who makes a false report accuses a real person — some “blame a made-up stranger.” That means the percentage of sexual assault reports that turn out to be false allegations against innocent people is even smaller than the rate of false reports more generally.

It’s difficult to determine exactly how many men have been falsely accused, but extrapolating from the number of men in America and the percentage of false reports (even using the highest estimates), it’s likely that fewer than 0.005 percent of American men are falsely accused each year.

Being falsely accused of a crime is, of course, very serious. But far from being some sort of epidemic requiring a campaign of self-protection, being falsely accused of sexual assault is very, very uncommon for American men. It’s far more common for men to be sexually assaulted.

According to CDC data gathered between 2010 and 2012, one in three women and one in six men have experienced some form of sexual violence involving physical contact. And a survey conducted earlier this year by the group Stop Street Harassment found that 81 percent of women and 43 percent of men had been harassed or assaulted at some point in their lives.

Sexual misconduct against men is probably underreported, Stewart told Vox. Male survivors of what others might see as sexual assault might describe the experience as hazing, physical abuse, or humiliation, Stewart said, and “if they talk to someone who says ‘it was abuse, it was rape,’ many men will psychologically go into hiding.”

American conceptions of sex, assault, and masculinity can make it harder for male survivors to come forward or even acknowledge their experiences to themselves, Stewart said. While women are often blamed for being sexually assaulted, they said, “for men, as opposed to saying, ‘it was your fault,’ the saying is, ‘it didn’t happen.’”

Men are assumed to always want sex: “if a boy has sex with a much older woman he’s somehow gotten lucky or scored,” Stewart said. This leaves men with unwanted sexual experiences feeling ignored or disbelieved. Men are also expected to be independent, in control, and powerful, which can make it hard for them to admit to an experience they didn’t want. And there’s a lack of public understanding that men’s bodies can respond to sexual contact even if that contact is unwelcome, Stewart said.

The #MeToo movement has actually inspired many male survivors to seek help. Traffic to the 1in6 website skyrocketed in 2017 as the movement grew, Stewart said. The group also saw an uptick in requests for services in the wake of Ford’s testimony.

“This is why we are so thankful, and I think many male survivors are so thankful, for things like #MeToo, for the courage of someone like Dr. Ford,” Stewart said. “It inspires survivors across all groups.”

Using #HimToo to focus on false allegations against men, meanwhile, can discourage all survivors from coming forward, they explained: “Seeing #HimToo used to support a man who has been accused of sexual abuse or assault explicitly casts doubt on a survivor’s story, thus enforcing secrecy over disclosure for male and female survivors alike.” And by dividing the conversation on the basis of gender, the hashtag “surely causes some male-identifying survivors to feel invisible in the conversation — the very thing #HimToo was seeking to ameliorate.”

To hear Trump, Conway, and others tell it, sexual assault breaks down neatly along gender lines: women make accusations, men are accused. (It’s not clear what percentage of these accusations #HimToo advocates believe are actually true.) But in fact, people of all genders can be sexually assaulted. And by telling one false story about assault — women are lying to try to destroy men — #HimToo advocates are keeping the real stories from being told.

Original Source -> #HimToo, the online movement spreading myths about false rape allegations, explained

via The Conservative Brief

#IFTTT #The Conservative Brief

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