#i recently went back to a place that brings me bad memories.....

[lacunasbalustrade]

"i never knew just how much i liked being needed. just how much, you understand? i knew i wanted it but not how much. until two years later i went back anonymously to visit and watched how the trains had stopped running and the ground had stopped shaking under the tremors of music and i saw. how everything was splitting apart at the seams without me. and i smiled hopelessly. finally i found permanence in how no one will ever forget my name, the one they cursed and gossiped and talked about when i was too exhausted to let go. well, now i have. and if you don't, well, I like that."

[cinnamontoastcrunch-15]

We Must Know, How Did it End?

“It was tricky, really. Writing songs that come from a place of pain isn’t usually my thing,” Sirius says, plastering a polite smile onto his face. “It’s difficult to describe a feeling that’s so… overwhelming.” 

Peter smiles back, and Sirius can see the empathy etched across his face. 

“Okay, I think we have time for some audience questions,” Pete says, turning to the audience. Sirius follows his gaze to a crew member handing a mic over to a young woman. 

“Hi, uh, hi. I was just wondering if your album is based on your recent breakup? With Remus?” 

His name alone makes the blood freeze in Sirius’ veins. The fan isn’t wrong, his album is essentially all about Remus. It doesn’t stop his heart from stuttering at the mention of Remus. It brings memories that he’s been trying to write out of his system back to the front of his mind. They bring a lump into his throat, and he has to blink harshly to fight back any semblance of a visceral reaction. 

Thankfully, Peter steps in. 

“You know what? Let’s move on. Anyone else?” 

In spite of a few grumblings, the microphone travels further, landing with another fan. 

“Hey. I was just wondering if you ever think that Remus dated you for the fame? I mean, his follower count has doubled since you two-” 

“No, I don’t think that,” Sirius cuts in sharply. Apparently, his need to defend Remus is stronger than his hurt at their breakup. Peter is opening his mouth to speak, probably to move on again, but Sirius isn’t ready to move on. “Of course I don’t think that. Remus’ talent speaks for itself. He doesn’t need me to be his way to break out in the dance world. We might not be together anymore, but that doesn’t change the fact that he is still one of the most genuine people I have ever met. Honestly, his kindness is indescribable. Everything I said while we were together was true. That relationship was the realest thing I’ve ever had, okay? Us breaking up doesn’t diminish that.” 

The whole studio has lapsed into silence, and Sirius is really regretting the way he went about that now. Even Peter’s watching him in shock. Eventually, he seems to remember his own job, clearing his throat and breaking out into a smile. 

“Okay! It’s about time for us to move on…” 

Sirius is pretty sure that he’s been in a trance for the past hour. He doesn’t even remember the trip back to his house. All he knows is that he’s been scrolling through his tagged posts as his manager, Benjy, shouts at him over the phone. 

“This is, without a doubt, the most irresponsible thing you’ve ever done!” 

“I didn’t think it was that bad,” Sirius grumbles under his breath. Unfortunately, Benjy has the ears of a fucking hawk. 

“If you weren’t a public figure, and I wasn’t your fucking PR Manager, I would think it was sweet, Sirius! However, calling your relationship with Remus the realest thing you’ve ever had?! That gives tabloids every opportunity under the sun to call you obsessive!”

“Yeah, well, it needed to be said,” Sirius says decisively. He’s not wrong. In what world could anyone ever see Remus as anything less than kind? Yeah, they haven’t seen the way Remus would hold Sirius through his panic attacks, say the dumbest things just to watch him smile, or the dance. The one Remus dedicated to him. The one Sirius really should delete from his camera roll. 

“God, Sirius, you’re so lucky that I actually like you.” Benjy interrupts his train of thought, thankfully, letting out a groan as Sirius refreshes Instagram for the fifteenth time. “However, now you need to lay low until people forget that this happened.” 

“What? That I defended him? Just because he’s my ex doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to say anything nice about him!” 

“Yes it does. You can’t say anything too bad, or anything too nice. You have to be neutral. Peter was about to gloss past the question, anyway!” Sirius rolls his eyes, grateful that Benjy can’t see him as he goes scrolling again. He’s being called obsessive in countless different ways by news outlets, people who hate him, and people who have decided that his and Remus’ breakup means that it’s time to take sides. As he looks through them, he’s barely even pausing. 

Until he reaches a post with Remus’ face at the front of it. 

As much as he knows that he shouldn’t, he wants to watch it. He’s spent a lot of time watching the videos he promised James that he’d deleted and crying, but those were videos Sirius had filmed himself. They were personal. He hasn’t interacted with anything that Remus has posted publicly. He doesn’t actually want to be a stalker. 

This feels… different. Mostly because this one has his name on it. 

‘REMUS LUPIN BREAKS SILENCE ABOUT EX BOYFRIEND SIRIUS BLACK:’ 

“Yeah, okay, Benjy, I’ll stay silent,” Sirius says quickly, zoning out. 

“Oh, really? Thanks. That was easy-” 

“Okay, bye.” He hangs up before Benjy can say anything else, immediately playing the video. 

It’s from one of Remus’ livestreams. His face is flushed a slight red, like it usually is after rehearsal, sitting on the floor in his studio. Sirius hates how endearing he finds it. He’s just talking, comments rolling in and the radio playing, when Sirius catches the message. It’s just another one calling him a stalker, but it stops Remus in his tracks. 

“Right, you all need to leave Sirius alone,” Remus says decisively. The way his name sits in Sirius’ mouth brings a lump into his throat all over again. He really needs to stop crying over Remus, it’s getting a little sad. Maybe he is obsessive. “He isn’t stalking me. I actually haven’t spoken to him at all. Listen, the- the breakup was amicable, okay? We don’t hate each other, and we really don’t need people taking sides. All he did was defend me, which he didn’t have to do. It was nice of him, yeah, but it doesn’t make him obsessive. He’s just being a good person, he can’t help that.” Sirius smiles to himself, face warming at the compliment. 

Okay, he is obsessed. 

Still, it’s so unbelievably Remus to be so willing to defend him. To immediately assume the best about Sirius. 

Just when Sirius expects the clip to end, a different song starts playing. He recognises it straight away. It’s one from his new album. 

‘ I told the moon about you… ’ 

Remus’ eyes widen at the words. At Sirius ’ words. He never has been any good at hiding the first thought that flits across his face. 

“Sorry, I’m, er… I’ve got to go. Thanks for- for watching, yeah,” Remus says hurriedly. 

That’s when the clip ends. 

For what feels like the thousandth time, Sirius wants to be in the same room as Remus, to have the privilege of finding out exactly what is going on in his head. He wants to press his thumb against the furrow in Remus’ brow and watch his face relax. Christ, he just wants to touch him, really. His forehead, his hand, his shoulders, his waist, anywhere . With a groan, he drops his head into his hands. He’s actually pathetic. James is the only one who’s allowed to hear about this, and Sirius is pretty sure he needs a stern talking to from him right about now. 

There’s a knock at his front door, which Sirius assumes is James. It’s like the man can read his mind. The knocking is a little… frantic, but James is bouncy, it’s not exactly out of the ordinary. 

He walks slowly over to the door, reaching out and pulling it open. 

The moment he catches a glimpse of the familiar amber eyes, every muscle in Sirius’ body freezes. 

Remus. 

He hasn’t seen him in three months. Not since he left Sirius’ house, got on a plane, and didn’t come back. Sirius has spent a countless number of minutes trying to recall every single detail about Remus, looking at photos of the two of them, wishing that he had spent more time etching every line, every freckle, into his brain. He thought he had, really, but he was right in his interview. Remus is indescribable. 

For a moment, they just look at each other, Remus’ mouth slightly ajar as though he hadn’t expected Sirius to open the door. He almost seems like he doesn’t know how he got there. 

Well, until Sirius speaks. 

“M- Remus? What- what are you…?” He trails off, watching the way Remus’ features set to something much more sure. 

“Sirius, I love you,” he says suddenly. They’re words Sirius never expected to hear coming from Remus again. “I’m still in love with you, and I’m tired of pretending that I haven’t regretted every single step that I’ve taken since I left here. I- God, Sirius, I think we made a mistake. I- I know what we said, what we agreed on. It was too difficult with our schedules, we were both being too distant, fighting over little things,” he lists everything like it’s pointless, as Sirius tries to get his brain to fucking wake up and work. “And I get it, Sirius. I really do get it, I understand, but I’d take thousands of fights over- over dishes, or hogging blankets, instead of having to do these months all over again. This is going to sound really sad, and really bloody pathetic, but I’ve watched the videos of you writing songs in my flat more time than I can fucking count since we broke up! You told the moon about me? I know that line. I’d know it anywhere. It’s the one right before I turned the camera off and kissed you. It just made me- I don’t know, I didn’t think hearing it like that would hurt so much.” He seems to be hit with a completely different emotion, some sense of regret, and it’s probably Sirius’ fault, since he doesn’t seem to be able to get his voice to work. He can sing night after night, go on countless talk shows, but apparently this is what it takes to render Sirius speechless. “I know I’m probably overstepping a boundary, and this is really fucking stupid of me, but I- I want to try again.” 

Yeah, the words really aren’t going to come out. He’s going to have to find some other way to tell Remus exactly how he feels. 

“If I didn’t say something I just know that I’d regret it for the rest of my life. So tell me to leave and I will. I’ll turn around and- and I’ll move country. You’ll never have to see me again-” 

He can’t say anything else, because Sirius is kissing him. 

He isn’t even sure when he made the decision to do it. It’s almost like a reflex, the first thing to come naturally to him. 

There’s not a second of regret that comes with it, though. 

Before he can even figure out where he got the idea to do that, Remus’ arms are around Sirius’ waist, pulling him closer and holding him secure, warm, safe . His lips are soft, so familiar that Sirius wants to cry. 

Actually, he is crying. 

Tears start rolling down his face as he pulls away to look at Remus. Thankfully, Remus is crying himself, and somehow also grinning like an idiot, which Sirius can genuinely say is the most beautiful sight he has ever had the privilege to behold. 

“Oh, my god, I love you, Remus. Moony, I love you so much,” he says quickly, hands reaching to cup Remus’ face. 

“So- you- do you want-?” 

“To start again? Pick up from where we left off? Anything, darling. Anything. I’ll take whatever you can give me, if it means I don’t have to try to move on. You’re not someone I can get over. I’ve tried, and I’m convinced that it’s fucking impossible,” Sirius says, making Remus laugh breathlessly and drag him back into a kiss. Not that Sirius is complaining. He would let Remus drag him anywhere. Remus is his everything. His world. 

Oh, my darling, how could I ever have let you go?

[thefallennightmare]

Just Pretend-Twenty Four

*gif created by me. feel free to use, simply give credit*

Parings: Noah Sebastian x Musician! Reader

Warnings/Tropes: language, angst, fluff, smut, star-crossed lovers, right person/wrong time, cheating, talks of mental abuse.

Summary: “I can wait for years, heaven knows I’m not getting over you.” A story about two star-crossed lovers, that always find their way back because their souls are entwined. The universe desperately attempts to bring them together, no matter what the cost.

Authors Note: Did y'all bring your umbrellas and washcloths? Cause it gets a bit messy in this.

FUCK YOU. EAT SHIT. KILL GOD. DETHRONE.

We are Fallenvvitch. Goodnight.

🪽🔮

Collaborating With: @thescarlettvvitch(better give her all the love as well)

Tags: @thescarlettvvitch @ozwriterchick @waake-meee-up @notingridslurkaccount @niicoleleigh @sammyjoeee @xxrainstorm @dominuslunae @notmaddihealy @malice-ov-mercy @crimson-calligraphyx @iknownothingpeople @writethrough @thebadchic @blackveilomens Claudia on Tumblr @tobe-written @blacksoul-27 @loeytuan98 @loverofagoodbeard @comfortcharactercraze @lma1986 @plutonikchaos1 @spicywhenspeaking @lyschko666 @somewhere-diamond @hi-fancy-seeing-you-here @koskeepsake @bngurngheart @shilohrosechicken @emzandthevoid @casangel1986 @qualityvoidcollectorsblog @myownthoughts12 @jilliemiw86 @bellaboo967 @halloweenaesthetic @collapsedglasshouses @iamamatus

NOAH

“So are you saying there’s a new Bad Omens music video on the horizon?” 

With a trick smile, I adjusted my position in the chair and shrugged to the camera on my computer. “Uh, yeah. I can’t tell you which one but it’ll be out there soon.” 

The group of people who were interviewing me via Zoom cheered until one of them asked the next question. It went like this for a few more minutes and I did my best to pay attention and not reach for my phone. Tonight was important and even with how poised and professional I looked during the interview, my knee was bouncing under my desk with nerves. Everything had been planned down to the last detail, Michael giving me shit for stressing out about nothing. 

“It’s Y/N, you know she’d be fine with just an easel and new paints,” he chuckled while watching me set up Y/N’s studio. 

I paused setting up the plants on a shelf to turn towards him. “I know. But she deserves this; all of this. She needs a place to escape by herself for a little while.” 

“You have to relax,” Michael rested his hands on my shoulders, looking directly into my eyes. “You need to enjoy the new beginnings of your relationship. You and Y/N love each other, that’s what matters. Not how many plants she has.” 

Shaking my head from the earlier memory, I hummed towards the interviewer. “I’m sorry, what was the question?” 

She chuckled. “We’ve seen some growth vocally on this new record from the last. Can you give us a little insight on that?” 

With a nod, I divulged how I recently started working with a vocal coach who helped bring out this side of me that I had always hidden under a veil of self-doubt and insecurities. 

Suddenly my phone buzzed on the desk and I quickly peered down at it, my heart jumping into my throat. 

Angel 🪽: I’m walking out of therapy right now, I’ll be home and ready to go in an hour! 

While the interviewers chatted amongst themselves briefly, I typed out a fast response before taking a long drink of my coffee. 

Me: No rush, angel. We have all night. I should be finishing up this interview soon. 

Another question and another answer. It went on like this for a few minutes until I noticed another text from Y/N. 

Angel 🪽: You already got coffee?🥺 

My heart dropped when I saw that emoji because I could vividly picture her soft lips in a pout just like it. Her bright eyes wide. 

Me: Don’t do that, you know I can’t resist that face you pull.  Jolly brought it from Fika. Astrid made an extra by mistake. We can swing by and get you one.

Thankfully, my hands were just off camera so no one who was watching would be able to see my texting. 

Wait. 

Me: Wait, are you watching? You little sneak.

Deciding to give my attention back to the interview, I finished it within the next thirty minutes and thanked them with a wide smile before clicking out of Zoom. Standing up from the desk in the studio, I read Y/N’s message as I trotted down the stairs toward my bedroom. 

Angel 🪽: Of course, I’m watching. I watch all of your interviews. I also love teasing you. I already stopped by Fika after therapy. I will say that I’m excited about what you have planned for later. 

Veering left instead of right, I stepped inside Y/N’s art studio and stood in the middle of the room, assessing every inch of it to make sure it was absolutely perfect. The memory of earlier today stumbling inside with both arms full of bags that contained a variety of different paint and drawing supplies. The guys merely smirked as they saw me struggling even having a bag hanging from my teeth before I motioned to the outside with my head and mumbled two words. 

Help. Car.

The studio was perfect and spotless when I made sure that everything was where it needed to be. As I headed across the hall into my bedroom to finish getting ready, I sent a text to Y/N; one she responded to almost immediately. 

Me: I can’t wait. I love you.

Angel 🪽: I love you too, mochi. 

READER

“Oh my god, I’m stuffed. I can’t eat another bite,” I groaned while stepping out of Noah’s car as he held the door open for me. 

“Greek was a good choice, huh?” He chuckled as he walked around the car towards me; a little bell jingling behind him. 

I looped my arm through his and rested my head against his shoulder. “You know I’d never turn down a chance for Greek food.” 

“I never thought I’d be such a fan of it. I’ve always thought it was just gyros. The spinakorprita was good.” 

I stifled my laugh into his bicep. “It’s spanakopita.” 

“Spa-na-ko-pi-ta.” 

Noah sounded out slowly and I kissed his shoulder. “Good job! Pretty soon I’ll have you fluent in Greek and we can visit Greece.” 

He brushed a kiss along my forehead and I peered down at the feline that rubbed his face along Noah’s leg. 

“Are you sure he’s okay on the harness?” I bit my lip. “He can’t slip out of it?” 

“Salem is fine, angel. He loves this thing. You should have seen him running through the grass when I had him a couple of months ago.” 

To reassure me worries, however, Noah picked up Salem to hold him against his chest, our cat purring loudly as I pressed a kiss on his head. 

“Thank you for letting me bring him. I figured it would be good to get him acclimated here in case you have to watch him for me,” I said as we began walking up towards the house. 

“I’ve been wanting to show him the new cat tree I bought him,” Noah smiled. 

When we came to a stop at his front door I untangled myself from him and then reached inside my purse for my camera. 

“Angel,” he started. 

Waving him off, I backed away a few feet and motioned to him to stay there. “Just one picture in front of the house. You look so cute tonight. Plus, I need a picture of my boys.” 

Even with the dim street light but the bright glow of the moon, I saw the red hue cover Noah’s cheeks with my compliment, and eventually, threw up his trademark peace sign with one hand and continued to hold Salem in the other. 

Snapping a few different poses, I pocketed the Polaroids after they printed and skipped back toward Noah, who had opened the front door and allowed me to step inside the quiet house. 

“Where is everyone?” I wondered. 

Noah hung up his keys on the hook next to the front door. “Movies. The local theater is playing the old Japanese version of Godzilla.” 

“You turned that down?” I asked with wide eyes. “You love old Japanese movies.” 

“No place I’d rather be than right here, with you,” he mused while wrapping his arms around me to place a chaste kiss on my lips. 

“How sweet,” I cooed while patting his chest. 

Noah let Salem off the harness so he could explore the house, he immediately found the cat tree and curled up in the top bed part. 

Something was bothering Noah, however, no matter how bright he smiled. I could sense it in the way he kept fidgeting with his hands during dinner to how often he drummed his fingers against the steering wheel on the way back to his house. 

“What’s on your mind?” I questioned while palming his cheek. 

He left a kiss on the inside of my palm. “I want to show you something.” 

“You do?” My heart fluttered. 

Linking our fingers together, Noah led me down the hallway towards his room, but we veered left instead to stop in front of a closed door. With our hands on his chest, I felt the rapid beat of his heart and let out a low laugh. 

“Mochi, your heart is racing,” I said. 

He nodded. “I’ve been working on something the last few months since I’ve moved in trying to make it perfect. I think I’ve annoyed both my roommates and yours.” 

“Chase and Malcolm know about this?” I questioned. 

“Yeah. They sent me some of the products you use, your favorite brands; things like that. I wanted to make sure that you don’t have to worry about lugging things back and forth,” Noah shifted on his feet. 

“Okay, what is it?” I bounced on my heels with excitement. “You’ve already surprised me with the vanity. What do you have hiding behind that door? 

I gasped. “Is it a puppy?! No, wait. That wouldn’t make sense.” 

Noah chuckled while cupping my face to leave a kiss on my forehead. “No puppy. Maybe down the road.” 

“Well, will you show me already? I’m getting antsy!” I patted his chest before messing with his chain between my fingers. 

I still wore my matching set, never taking them off. 

“Close your eyes,” he ordered. 

With a pout, I tried to get out of doing it but instead, Noah covered my vision with his large hand. Feeling his presence behind me, I heard the door click open and he led me inside the room. The hand over my eyes shook so I grazed my fingers over the back of it, letting him know that he didn’t have to be nervous. 

“I want to make sure you love it, angel,” Noah pressed a kiss behind my ear. “OK. Are you ready?” 

“Yes!” I exclaimed. 

Blinking a few times to adjust to the light, a hand went to my mouth as a gasp fell from my lips. It was overwhelming and almost too many different things to take in, I didn’t know where to look first. 

There were four different-sized easels in each corner of the room. 

An angled desk in front of the large window, one that people would use to draw on. 

Three shelves above that desk held various paints, brushes, and charcoals. 

Plants littered almost every inch of space that wasn't overtaken with painting supplies. 

The closet in the room was wide open, showcasing even more stock of supplies and different size canvases. 

The best part? Hardwood floors. 

With tears in my eyes, I slowly turned back to Noah, standing in the doorway with his hands behind his back. 

“So?” 

“I-,” I cleared my throat when the words came out jumbled. “You did this?” 

“Yeah. I wanted to give you your own space here. To come too whenever you wanted, even if I wasn’t home,” he wrung his hands together. 

“Really?” I choked out. “Don’t you think you should maybe check with the guys about having me come over here all the time unannounced?” 

“Angel,” he took a step towards me and grabbed my hands, his thumb brushing mine. “Jesse was the one that suggested I give you a key.” 

My eyes doubled. “A key?” 

Noah now dug into his pocket to pull out a black key, gently setting it in my open palm. “I want you to have a place to come and stay. I’m not asking you to move completely in, but if it's getting a little stuffy in that small apartment with Chase and Malcolm, you and Salem can come to spend the night here.” 

I let out a small chuckle, a few tears falling from my eyes, and then held the key close to my chest. “You gave me all of this but I have nothing in return, Noah.” 

He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and mused. “Your love is enough, Y/N.” 

“I love you. Thank you for all of this.” I pressed my head against his chest while wrapping my arms around him. 

“I love you too.” He kissed the top of my head. “Now, welcome to the other part of our first date.” 

I gazed up at him through lashes. “We’re going to paint?” 

“Now, I’m not a professional like you,” he snorted before pulling me over to two easels that were next to each other. “But I thought it would be a cute idea.” 

“I would not call myself a professional.” 

“Still better than me,” Noah said. 

I raised a playful brow while crossing my arms over my chest. “Want to make this interesting?” 

He smirked while resting his hands on my hips. “I’m all ears, angel.” 

“Whoever has the worst painting has to get the winner's birthday tattooed on them.” 

“Oh, it’s a bet,” he sealed it with a kiss. 

Noah pulled out the little stool for me to which I sat with a smile, pulling up the ends of my yellow maxi skirt to sit comfortably. While Noah busied himself with setting up music to play from the Bluetooth speaker, I removed my jacket to set it neatly on the ground at my feet. 

“Do you want an old shirt of mine to change into?” He asked while pointing to my white top. 

I noticed that Noah had shed his gray button-up and was wearing a blank tank top. I licked my lips at the site of his muscles, the tattoos suddenly seeming more fitting now that he had been working out a lot more. 

Remind me to thank Ash. 

Snapping my eyes away from the broadness of his chest, I shook my head. “I’ll be fine, mochi. Thank you though. I don't typically make a mess.” 

“Hm, the paint stains on the dining room carpet say otherwise,” he teased. 

Playfully smacking Noah’s arm, we both got settled as the music filtered into the air and I got lost in my mind, painting whatever my soul called for. We found ourselves in a peaceful quiet, simply enjoying each other's presence. Every so often I would glance over to Noah, making sure that he was enjoying himself only because I knew painting wasn't for everyone. 

He had narrowed eyes of precision as he stroked the brush wave after wave against the canvas. From this angle, I couldn’t see what he was painting. Instead, I leaned over to rummage in my purse, pulled out my Polaroid camera, and snapped a few shots of Noah before one of me, with him in the background. I set the pictures on the desk next to me before getting back to my painting. 

“How’s it going over there?” 

Noah’s soothing voice brought me out of my trance and I glanced over at him with a smile. “Good, I’m almost finished. What about you?” 

“Promise you won't laugh?” 

“Of course, mochi.” 

I made a show of crossing my heart but let out a squeal of laughter when Noah hooked his foot around the foot of the stool and dragged me over towards him. He gave me a quick kiss but still wouldn’t let me see what he painted. 

“I’ve been told I’m a great artist, granted that was in the second grade,” Noah chuckled before finally showing me his canvas and what he spent the last thirty minutes painting. 

I covered my mouth with a hand not to stifle a gasp but instead a laugh. He painted stick figure versions of him, me, and Salem in front of a house; even with the bright yellow sun in the corner of the canvas. 

“Wow,” I nodded. “All I’ll have to say is don’t quit your day job, mochi.” 

Noah scoffed. “Fuck, that was cold. But it's true. There’s a reason why I’m a musician, not a painter. I’ll leave that to you, angel.” 

“I love it!” I beamed while ruffling his hair and laying a gentle kiss on his cheek. “I’ll hang it up above my bed.” 

“What did you paint?” He wondered. 

“Oh nothing too important, just some abstract colors. I didn’t really have an actual vision. I kind of let the paint speak to me as I go,” I said. 

When I showed him my painting, Noah’s eyes glinted and he smiled. “I like it. I’ll have to hang this above my bed.” 

“So I think it’s safe to say that I won the bet? And now you have to get my birthday tattooed on you,” I grinned while going about to clean up the paint and brushes. 

When Noah didn’t respond, I glanced over my shoulder to see that he had a very sly smirk playing on his lips and I popped my hip out, resting a hand on it. 

“Noah Sebastian. Did you purposely lose this bet so you could get my birthday tattooed?” 

He hummed along to the song playing on the speaker, still not answering my question but never getting rid of that smirk on his face. His silence, however, was exactly the answer I needed. 

What a cheeky little...

With the dirty paintbrush in my hand, I flicked it over at Noah, the leftover paint spraying over his chest when he turned towards me. His eyes bounced down to the paint splatter over his black tank top to me, a shocked expression on his face. 

“Did you just throw paint on me?” 

I shrugged. “Oops?”

“Really? Oops?” Noah dipped a larger paintbrush into a handful of different colors before throwing it all over my face and neck. 

“NOAH!” I screeched with a boisterous laugh. 

Suddenly, he picked me up to twirl me in the air before tackling me onto the ground then started painting my arms and neck as I found underneath him. 

“I’m sorry!” I giggled while trying to reach for the paintbrush I dropped; fingertips grasping at it. 

“I’m sorry, I can’t hear you. I’m busy painting a masterpiece,” Noah responded, painting shapes on my cheek now. 

With my fingers finally grasping the brush, I flicked some paint into his hair, covering it in bright pinks, blues, and yellows. Our peals of laughter overpowered the music still playing in the room and eventually, after we both were covered in pain, I threw up my hands in surrender. 

“OK!” I chuckled breathlessly. “You win. You win.” 

Noah kissed me, smearing the paint over my lips. “Damn straight I do.” 

Somehow in the shuffle of our paint fight, I managed to straddle Noah, who lost his tank top; it was destroyed due to all the paint. So he lay shirtless underneath me and I couldn’t help but bite my lip at the sight of him with his arm propping his head up and his tattoos on full display for only me to devour. 

Reaching up towards my easel, I grabbed a few different paints and clean brushes before settling back on Noah’s hips, getting to work on painting the flowers of his chest piece. 

He hummed at the feeling of the cool brush and let his eyes flutter shut for a long moment, reveling in the feeling of me on top of him. And not in a sexual way but in a way of knowing that I was here and not going anywhere. 

“Am I an adult coloring book for you?” Noah questioned after he took a few Polaroid pictures of me painting him.

“Maybe,” I teased with a glance down at his face. 

His chest was a vibrant picture of greens, reds, and oranges. I was working on painting the headband in the girl's hair when he spoke again. 

“Well don’t stop, I like this form of meditation.”

Once the round frame was painted gold, I adjusted my position so I could sign my name just above the words across his sternum. 

Noah opened one eye and smiled. “I see you signed your work.”

“I did because you’re not it anymore.” I pressed a soft kiss along each letter. 

“I’m not what?” He breathed in pleasure, slightly arching off the ground. 

“You’re no longer desolate,” I promised into his skin then took a couple of Polaroid pictures of my masterpiece. 

Noah let out a soft noise from the back of his throat when his strong hand wrapped around the back of my neck to pull me down to his lips, we met in a fiery, air-bending kiss. Every single fiber of my soul blazed with such passion I melted into his embrace, folding into him as we became one. His tongue brushed along my bottom lip, lapping up the strawberry chapstick I applied in the car earlier, him humming in delight. 

I adjusted myself as I lay flat on Noah, his hands running up and down the skin of my back underneath my shirt. The heat radiated off of him making my insides flare with so much desire that I was practically burning up at his touch. 

“Noah,” I whined when his lips began attacking my neck. 

When he pulled away, his almond eyes gazed up at me with pupils blown wide with lust; pure black over taking his eyes. 

“How about I run you a bath?” His thumb brushed along my bottom lip, voice hoarse from our kiss. 

“I’d like that a lot,” I beamed. 

NOAH

I sat on the edge of the tub to check the temperature of the water making sure it was perfect before adding the bubbles and bath salts. As it began to fill up, I peered through the open bathroom door to gaze over at Y/N who was sitting at her vanity taking off her makeup. My heart swelled in my chest when I noticed how relaxed she was, as if she was meant to be there; here with me. 

Sitting here in observation, it struck me like a bolt of lightning. I’d been so lost in constructing scenarios for tonight that I was surprised to see how far I’d come. Y/N’s movements were so fluid, so serene as she gently wiped everything off her face and neck. I’d never been so jealous of a makeup towelette before. 

Observing her using the vanity table I fussed over for weeks made my stomach flutter, the ongoing moment of quiet bliss was by far my favorite way to let time tick by.

Waiting here offers me time to let my mind escape the boundaries of the ordinary. From where I sat here in the bathroom, watching her carefully with the faintest of smiles, I knew I wanted this view for the rest of my life. After all the bullshit endured on and off over the years, for both of us, this was what I got to see. 

Watching Y/N was such a gift, a blessing of time. Something I vowed right now that I wouldn’t take for granted.

Shaking off the excess water after checking the temp, I turned off the tub and walked into the bedroom with a light spring in my step. I snuck up behind Y/N and rested my chin on top of her head, watching her smile in the reflection of the mirror. 

“Your bath is ready, angel,” I informed. 

She reached for my left hand to lay a gentle kiss on the floral design. “You mean, our bath is ready.” 

I raised a brow at her when she stood and led me into the bathroom with her. 

“Wait, what?” 

Y/N chuckled at the slight confusion in my voice. “You heard me. You’re covered in paint too, Noah. You need to clean up.” 

I rubbed the back of my neck as we stood together in the bathroom. “I was-uh- going to take a shower once you were finished. I don’t want to pressure you into-.” 

“Stop overthinking this,” she cupped both sides of my face and pressed a kiss to my nose. “I want you to join me if you’re comfortable with it.” 

I may have nodded a little too eagerly but it didn't bother her. 

“I’d love that, angel.” 

While she shed her clothes, I stepped out of my pants and briefs, both of us watching each other with such inferno in our eyes and when we were naked, Y/N reached for my hand. She stepped into the tub first then me, positioning myself behind her. Even though it was a larger tub, it was still a snug fit for the both of us so to make sure she had enough room, I kept my long legs bent; my knees breaking the surface of the water. 

“Oh this is perfect,” Y/N groaned while leaning herself into my chest. 

Reaching for her shampoo, I went to work scrubbing the paint out of her hair, my nails scraping along her scalp. Her fingers traced over the rose tattoo on my knee, delicately following the design. 

“What’s on your mind, angel?” I questioned after rinsing out her hair and then applying the conditioner. 

“You’ve really thought about everything, huh? You have all of my products here so I don’t ever have to bring a bag over?” 

The giggle that erupted from her throat made something twinge inside of me. 

I kissed her shoulder. “I’ve already told you. This is your home just as much as your apartment is. We can bounce back and forth as long as you want.” 

Once she was completely clean of the dried paint, Y/N turned to position herself on my lap to face me. The head of my cock brushed along her folds and I grasped at her hips, trying not to let my hormones push her too far. 

“What are you doing?” I asked. 

She smiled and reached for my shampoo. “You washed me. Let me wash you now.” 

Sighing in content, I sat back against the tub to let Y/N wash my hair. Her fingers worked meticulously in scrubbing out the paint. 

“You know,” she shifted herself on me and I choked on a groan. 

Surely she had to know what she was doing. 

“While I love how you look with this new haircut. I really do miss your long hair.” 

I gazed up at her, tracing the drop of water that trailed down her neck, over the silver chain, and between the valley of her breasts that were just peeking above the bubbles. 

I licked my lips, tongue begging to trace the water in its wake, but refrained. 

“Imagine if you gave yourself bangs. You’d be in your Shelby era,” Y/N chucked while moving my hair in a certain way so I could have bangs. 

I glanced over to the mirror above the sink and smirked at the sight of us in the tub, especially me with bangs. 

“You think so?” I asked. 

“You can pull off any look, mochi.” 

She gently went about washing the paint off my chest with the loofah while I continued to watch her. 

“You’re staring,” her eyes flicked up at me. 

“I love you,” I brushed away the wet strands of hair from her face. 

“I love you too,” Y/N kissed the freckles on my shoulder. 

Once again we found ourselves in our previous position, her back to my chest, and we sat there for some time as the water began to chill. Although neither of us was ready to get out yet. 

“Noah?” 

Snapping my eyes open, I wrapped my arms around her. “Yeah?” 

Y/N shifted a bit in my embrace and with how she was wading her fingers through the water, I knew something heavy was on her mind. 

“Do you think we could listen to Bad Decisions?” 

My body stilled behind her. I knew at some point we would have to talk about the songs I wrote when I was in the dark parts of my life but it still didn't prepare me for the moment it happened. 

“Are you sure?” I asked. 

She turned slightly in my arms to leave an array of kisses on my chest. 

“I know you were in a dark place when you wrote it. It holds bad memories so I’d like to create new memories for this song with you if you want to.” 

“I’d want nothing more, Y/N,” I whispered into her hairline. 

After asking the Alexa device on the bathroom counter to play the song, I let my voice echo in the confines of the room. Y/N eased into my embrace as I linked our fingers together while I sang along with the words in a hushed tone. She hummed along with me as our bodies swayed together in the water. 

“No God. No religion. Just you,” I vowed when the song faded out, cupping her cheek so I could kiss her lips. 

Without missing a beat, Y/N returned the kiss just as slowly as I, our tongues lazily fighting for dominance as her hand snaked behind my neck to play with the wet strands of hair. 

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled against my lips. 

Pulling away, I remained holding her face but furrowed my brows. “What are you apologizing for?”

Her gaze left mine. “I just hate that it took us so long to get here. I know we talked about everything at the party but I still feel the need to apologize for everything.” 

“It’s not all on you, angel. I did some things I wasn’t proud of during our time apart and I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for it.” 

“Stop, Noah,” Y/N straddled me again to hold my chin with a stern grasp, the water sloshing around us. “You need to stop blaming yourself for what happened. I’ve already told you all is forgiven. Please stop letting that moment of weakness eat away at you.” 

I blinked away the burning tears in my eyes and cleared my throat. “I only want to make better memories with you. I know in the beginning I couldn’t communicate, even now it’s a bit hard for me, especially with everything that happened. It was a mess and I apologize too.” 

Y/N bent low to kiss me; it was slow at first but soon became heavy with passion when her tongue slipped between my lips. Her hips began grinding against my cock revving me up with such force, I wrapped my hand around her neck with my thumb against the pulse point in her neck. 

Breaking free from the kiss, I dragged my teeth along her jawline and then down her neck. 

“Noah,” Y/N breathed. “I love you.” 

Her pussy was now brushing over the head of my cock and every inhibition with me wanted to plunge myself deep inside of her, feel her grip me with that vice grip I’ve missed and longed for.

Something inside of my chest rumbled before I realized it was my voice. 

“How many have you loved before me?” I rasped as my tongue brushed over her nipple. 

Y/N arched herself back so she could fully expose herself to me. “None.” 

With one hand holding her throat, my other slipped between our bodies underneath the now-freezing water to glide over the slit between her legs. I attacked her lips again with a ravenous desire, nibbling on her bottom lip.

“And after me?” I demanded to know, slipping a finger inside of her finally. 

“None,” she moaned while digging her nails into the skin of my shoulders. 

Trembling fingers trace Y/N’s skin. To be in her company is a little slice of heaven as if her aura were an elixir. Emotions swam in our eyes, in our body language, and the inflections of her voice. 

She was the one who I thought of when I needed to restart my heart and rekindle my soul; for so long I kept that to myself. Feeling the intensity of her intelligence, Y/N’s words were my medicine.

Deep inside I couldn’t help but feel like I’ve over-explained my feelings to compensate for what hadn’t been said. I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t shake the fear of losing her. She needed to know where I stood, where we belonged. 

Soulmates. 

To be a possessor? I don’t know if you’d call it that. I yearned to be her protector, the one who held her heart in my hands, just as she held mine. These large hands are secured. I would grant her any wish in my power, to be the one who will always love her.

My fingers worked in sync as I pumped them in and out of her. She squirmed in my grasp, and the head of my cock nearly slipped inside of her. Every single part of me was sensitive to her touch and it felt like any moment I would combust underneath her. 

Peering up at her face, I noticed that there was worry pulling tight in her forehead. 

“What’s wrong? Am I hurting you?” I asked briefly, stopping. 

“No, you’re fine,” Y/N reassured me with a kiss on my forehead. “It’s just-.” 

When her words trailed off, I lifted her chin with a knuckle. “Talk to me, angel.” 

Her bottom lip caught between her teeth. “The water is really cold and I was hoping we could move this to the bed.” 

A playful smirk pulled on my lips and just before agreeing, I was struck with a thought. 

“How far do we want to take this?” 

“Noah, I can’t wait anymore. I need this. I need to feel connected to you again,” she rubbed herself against me. 

Shit. 

Even though I was ready for this, something was keeping me from lifting her out of this tub and tossing her on the bed to feel all of her again. The last time we slept together, it ended in disaster and heartbreak. I was stronger than I was back then but I don’t know if I could recover if it were to happen again. 

It won’t. 

It was as if Y/N’s soul could feel the pain in mine because she cupped both sides of my face so I had no choice but to meet her gaze. 

“I’m not going anywhere, Noah. I’m right here. Always.” She reassured me with a firm nod, not an ounce of lies behind her bright eyes. 

I kissed her palm. “I know. Are you sure this is what you want? I don’t want you to feel like you have to rush.”

“You’re not, Noah. I want this. I need this. I need to be connected to you so deeply, that it feels like we’ll never be apart again.” 

Her hand wrapped around my cock, pumping it up and down under the chilled water. By now the bubbles have dissipated and I peered through the clear water to choke on my moan. 

“We won’t,” I promised. 

Y/N’s warm breath fanned over the shell of my ear. “Please, Noah. I need you to fuck me.” 

READER

I erupted with laughter as Noah dropped my wet body on top of the bed. Resting up on my elbows, I gazed over his naked form as he stood at the foot of the bed. Water traced every bend and groove of his muscles and the tattoos that littered his skin were something that seemed to surprise me each time. 

When my gaze lowered to his cock, a starved moan fell from my lips and I licked them hungrily. 

“Y/N?” 

I hummed while tearing my gaze away from him to look into his eyes. 

“If you feel any pain, please let me know,” he said. 

“I’m okay,” I nodded. “I promise.” 

Noah towered over me as he crawled up the bed, droplets of water falling from his hair onto my chest. His chain hung just above my lips as I looked up at him, spreading my legs when his fingers tickled the inside of my thigh. 

“I want to make love to you tonight, angel. Will you let me?” He asked into the crook of my neck. 

“Please,” I nodded vigorously. 

Once more, Noah’s fingers slipped between my folds to gently tease me, slowly dragging them up and down. I whined in protest and dug my nails into his back, feeling his muscles tense from my touch. When the pad of his calloused finger pressed against my clit, I arched my chest into his, the itch I felt from the moment we were in the tub together finally being scratched. 

My knees buckled when his finger twirled in fast circles and when Noah flicked his tongue over my nipple, before slowly trailing down my stomach. The warm wetness of his tongue flicked over my nub when he replaced his fingers. His lips wrapped around my clit to suck up my arousal. 

“Noah,” I hissed. “So good.” 

I ran my fingers through his hair to bring his mouth closer to me as the coil in my stomach pulled tight. I’d been on edge all night, I knew I wouldn’t last long. And it was like Noah knew or understood because his tongue speared inside of me, in and out, before rubbing against my clit again. 

Stars danced at the edge of my vision, nearly overtaking my gaze when I looked down at Noah between my legs. His face was buried there as if he was meant to be there. I brushed away the hair from his face just for his eyes to meet mine, his tongue darting in and out of me. There was pure darkness in his eyes when his hand ran up my stomach and torso to grasp at the silver chain around my neck. He wrapped it around his fingers, pulling taunt, and I felt the breath leave my lungs briefly. Before I could say anything, Noah loosened the grip but still held onto the chain. 

I raised my hips off the bed to try and get closer to his mouth when his tongue began to slow, fearing that maybe he was getting tired. But I was so close that my body ached with the release it so desperately needed. 

With a tight hold against the back of his head, I tensed my legs and core when he flattened his tongue. Now I rubbed myself against his tongue and my moans echoed throughout the room. I couldn’t even warn him that I was about to cum because my orgasm washed over me without warning. Noah hummed in delight when my arousal coated his lips and chin; it dripped from him and he gathered it up with a finger before sucking it clean himself.

“Fuck,” I panted while running a hand through my hair. “That was-fuck.”

“Watching you cum is addicting, angel,” Noah buzzed with a tender kiss inside of my thigh. 

As my heart rate slowed, I ran my tongue over my bottom lip and let out a deep breath in a way to center myself again. 

“Missionary hurts right?” Noah asked while leaning over me. 

“It depends,” I shrugged. “But if I’m being honest, it’s not my favorite.” 

The smirk that pulled on his lips made me tilt my head at him. However, before I could ask what he had in mind, he swiftly turned me to lay on my stomach and raised my ass in the air. 

“Noah,” I breathed while peering over my shoulder at him. 

Not saying anything, he leaned over towards the nightstand to rummage through it and retrieved a condom. Lust-filled eyes watched as he ripped it open with his teeth and swiftly rolled it over the length of his cock, which was thick and dripping with his arousal. 

“Stay on your knees but if you need to lay your lower half on the bed, do it. I want to make sure you're comfortable,” a gentle kiss in the middle of my back; against the snake tattooed there. 

I positioned a pillow underneath me to give myself some more leverage and comfort while Noah lined his cock up with my entrance. Slowly, much to my dismay, Noah sank himself inside of me inch by inch until he was fully seated inside of me. 

“Shit,” his forehead rested against my shoulder blade. “So tight. I’ve been dreaming of this feeling again, angel.” 

“Me too. Oh fuck.” 

I moaned when Noah pulled himself almost out, pumping just the head of his cock in between my folds. Then with a snap of his hips, his cock stretched me open again and the weight of his body pressed me farther into the pillow. His chest collided with my back every time he thrust into me and his nails dug into my hips to keep himself grounded. For extra measure, I managed to hook my feet around his ankles. 

“I love you,” Noah panted in my ear. 

My smile was buried in the pillow. “I love you too.” 

“Any pain?”

I did my best to shake my head. “Keep going. Please.” 

One hand caressed the grooves of my spine, up and down, while his other wandered around to thrum against my clit again. Noah’s pace was slow but steady, his words from earlier ringing true. 

I want to make love to you. 

I brushed away the hair from my face so I was able to see, noticing our reflection in the large mirror Noah had leaning against the wall next to the closet. A strangled moan crawled out of my throat when I saw the muscles in Noah’s ass clench with every drive into me. I could vividly see his cock every time he pulled out of me, my arousal glistening on the condom, before disappearing inside of me again. 

“I.” 

Thrust. 

“Love.” 

Thrust.

“You.” 

I mewled at Noah’s proclamation in between each of his thrusts. “I love you too, Noah.” 

The slow pace of his cock but the fast pace of his fingers worked in perfect harmony and I felt my second orgasm slowly creeping its way into my veins. The heat spread like wildfire inside of me with such intensity I began to shake underneath Noah. 

“I love you, angel,” he proclaimed again then bit down on the sensitive part of the skin at the back of my neck. 

I was gone, blissed out in sheer ecstasy that my words were muffled against the pillow. That wasn’t good enough for Noah so he turned my cheek so I could face him. 

“I love you too,” I huffed when my orgasm was seconds away from bursting. 

He linked our hands together as he continued to meld with me from behind and I noticed that the hands that were linked were the ones that both had our bracelets. It was almost a good omen, no pun intended, that our souls were always destined to be one. For added measure, I felt the coolness of his necklace brush along the heated skin of my back. 

Noah lightly laughed, almost as if he thought the same, and when his cock twitched inside of me, I realized he was close. I wanted to watch him when he fell apart because of me so I glanced back over to our reflection in the mirror. Then with two fingers pressed against my clit, Noah began rubbing up and down which was exactly what I needed for the coil to snap. To finally teeter over the edge where ecstasy was waiting for me. 

His name fell from my lips in prayer. 

“Fuck, Noah. Oh God, it’s so good,” I cried out through the rest of my orgasm. 

“No God. Just us,” he grunted. 

There was no God; only him and I. 

In the reflection, I watched as his movement stilled, cock throbbing between my walls, and his mouth fell open when he tilted his head back; groaning out his release. Then softly, Noah’s body fell onto mine and he buried his face in my neck. 

“Are you okay?” He wondered. 

“I’m good, mochi. So fucking good,” I lazily smiled but whimpered when he pulled out of me. 

“Let me get you a washcloth,” he left a kiss on my shoulder before slipping into the bathroom. 

I snuggled closer into the pillow on my chest to let my eyes rest for a moment. Exhaustion dug itself so deep within my bones that I didn’t even notice when Noah began cleaning me up with the damp but warm cloth then he draped the blanket over my naked form. 

I wasn’t sure how much time had passed or noticed he left until the bed dipped beside me and I opened one eye to stare up at him. Noah kissed me from between my shoulder blades down my back, his nails grazing beyond the wake of his lips as he traced over the large snake tattoo on my back. 

“This sight is familiar,” Noah spoke quietly. 

I propped my chin on my hand. “But I’m not going anywhere after. I’m not leaving you to deal with my inconsiderate decisions. I’m right here with you, Noah.” 

“I know,” he nodded. “We’re creating new memories now. Righting all of those wrongs. I’ve been excited for both of us to leave the past and move forward.” 

“Me too,” I left a chaste kiss on his chin, feeling the slight stubble tickle my lips. 

Noah tucked a piece of hair behind my ear then began tracing the line of my cheekbone, and jaw, then booped my nose, earning a giggle from me. 

“I brought you some clothes in case you want to get dressed,” he said while handing me a pair of black joggers and a matching shirt. 

I took them with a smile. “I think I should start keeping some clothes here.” 

“Plenty of space in the closet,” Noah threw a thumb over his shoulder. 

My heart fluttered at his words, realizing yet again that Noah was allowing me to occupy parts of his private sanctions. 

“I’ll clear out two of my dresser drawers for your stuff the next time you’re over,” I promised with a kiss on his lips. 

He hummed while grasping the back of my head to keep me there for a second longer. 

“It’s a deal, angel.” 

Slipping out of the bed, I trotted into the bathroom to get dressed while I heard Noah open his bedroom door and rummaging in the kitchen. When I hopped back into his bed, Salem came bounding into the room with the bell on his collar jingling. 

“Hi baby,” I cooed when he jumped up on the bed. “So, what do you think of the cat tree dad bought you? You like it?” 

His response? Curling up on Noah’s pillow with a chirp of approval.

“I’m gone not even five minutes and he steals my spot,” Noah chuckled entering the room again; dressed in nothing but a pair of black Bad Omens joggers and bright yellow socks. 

“Get used to it. You invited him over and now what’s yours is his,” I scratched between Salem’s ears. 

“I’ll gladly share with him,” he said while handing me a plate. 

My eyes lit up as a gasp fell from my lips. “Is that limoncello tiramisù?”

“Yeah, I picked some up from that Italian bakery you love. Carlos’.” 

“Yes!” I exclaimed while quickly digging into the treat. 

As I leaned against the headboard to eat, Noah sat cross-legged in front of me to eat his share, both of us basking in the silence; beside Salem’s purring. 

“Are we a family now?” Noah asked. 

With a bright smile, I leaned over to press a kiss on his cheek. “Yeah. We are.”

I set both of our empty plates on the end table next to Noah’s bed then pulled my knees to my chest. 

“You know what I’d love right now?” I asked. 

Noah winked which caused me to playfully smack his chest. “Not that.” 

“OK, sorry. What would you love?” He chuckled while rubbing his chest. 

“I’d love to listen to The Grey. I’ve been dying to know how you worked in my poem ever since you sent me that video.” 

“Alexa, play The Grey by Bad Omens,” Noah said with a smile. 

“Now playing The Grey by the band Bad Omens.” 

When Noah’s voice finally broke through the music, I let out a small gasp. It was different, new, hearing this voice come from the man in front of me. It made me proud to see how far he’d come from Finding God Before God Finds Me, knowing what his work ethic was like. He was always trying to break down the typical stereotype of what rock should sound like. He wanted to make changes and from this song alone, Noah was doing that. 

Gave you way too many chances, you ran through 'em all. Got everything I could want, but it wasn't enough. Nobody left for me to talk to, nobody to call. Got everything I could want, but I still wanted more.” 

My eyes lit up. “Oh, this was from the video!” 

Noah giggled. “Yep.” 

I continued to listen to the song when he linked our hands together, bringing them to his lips to leave a kiss on each of my fingers. 

“I did it to myself, tried to be someone else. I let it tear me down, and I'll never be the same. I did it to myself, tried to be someone else. And you didn't notice 'til I finally got, finally got away.” 

“Noah,” I beamed. “This is amazing. The lyrics, your voice, the beat. Everything about it.” 

A red hue crossed his cheeks as he sheepishly glanced down at his lap where our intertwined hands were. 

“Do you like it?” He gazed up at me through his long lashes. 

Rising to my knees, I now draped my arms around his neck and kissed his forehead, nose, both cheeks and then finally his lips. 

“I love it, Noah. And I love you.” 

He twirled my necklace between two of his fingers. “I love you too, Y/N.” 

For the first time since we rekindled our love, it was then that I noticed the tattoo on the side of his hand. 

K.E.A.T.O.N. 

When Noah realized I was reading the letters, he held up his other hand so I could read the letters on that hand. 

P.I.E.R.C.E. 

“Noah,” I breathed while putting his hands against my chest. 

“I needed to. He needs to know that he can sing his songs through me while he’s gone,” he explained with a lone tear slipping down his cheek. 

“I know.” I kissed his hands. “It’s okay.” 

Glancing over my shoulder, I took notice of the time and frowned. Earlier, Noah mentioned that tomorrow, well technically later today since it was already nearly two in the morning, Bad Omens were shooting the music video for The Death of Peace of Mind and he needed to be up early for it. 

In six hours. 

“I should probably get home,” I sighed. 

Noah’s hold against my hips tightened. “You can stay. I’ll sleep better if you’re next to me.” 

“You need your rest, mochi,” I patted his cheek. “I also have plans with Astrid to help her open up Fika then we’re going shopping right after.” 

Reluctantly with a sigh, Noah agreed and let me go, not before leaving a kiss on my forehead. 

“Salem is staying here tonight though,” he said. 

My jaw dropped as I stood from the bed and placed my hands on my hips. “Excuse me?” 

“Look at him,” Noah pointed to a sleeping Salem. “You can’t wake him.” 

“Fine,” I dragged out the word with narrowed eyes. “Tomorrow night. My place.” 

Noah towered over me when he stood to full length in front of me. “I’ll be there, angel.” 

NOAH

Stuffing my hands deep into the pocket of my yellow hoodie, I let my black slides drag my feet behind Y/N as we walked closer to her apartment door. The chill midnight air breezed through the loose strands of hair but I was too far gone in my mind to brush it away. Even though we promised to see each other tomorrow, making plans for me to spend the night here tomorrow night, part of me was worried. Afraid that once we parted ways, Y/N would second guess everything that happened and ignore me for months on end. 

Why was I so nervous?

I kept asking myself that as we came to a stop in front of her door. I shook at the thought that what I was doing in all aspects of my life mattered. I felt the need to get it right; especially with Y/N. 

Dr. Poulos once said “Nerves are a signal of truth, of what you value, of what you need and cherish. The constant needs of what I’ve wanted, the comfort and stability I desired. That the idea of not gaining happiness brings on those telltale tremors. Always ask yourself what the nerves are telling you. It’s an important way your body speaks.” 

She wasn’t wrong. I knew in the back of my mind that I was terrified Y/N would never come back. 

What if  I wasn’t good for her?

I desperately needed to fight these demons and not let them win. 

Y/N loves me. She loves me.

“Mochi, you’re shaking.” 

Snapping out of my thoughts, I noticed that Y/N had wrapped her arms around my midsection to pull me closer to her. 

“Oh, I am? Didn’t notice,” I mumbled under my breath. 

“What’s wrong?” She questioned.

“Angel, let it go. It’s nothing.” 

Part of me wanted to remove her grasp from me; the part that was used to shrinking away from my problems. But the other part of me that wanted to be a good man for her made me cup the back of her neck instead.  

“Talk to me,” she quietly begged. 

However, I remained silent; the words weighed heavy on my tongue. 

“Noah-.”

“I don't want you to leave,” I blurted out. 

Y/N’s eyes softened. “Noah, I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

“No. I-I don’t know. I’m-.” I ran a shaking hand through my hair. “I don’t want you to wake up tomorrow and change your mind. I’m not perfect-.” 

“Stop,” Y/N shook her head. “Don’t even say that, Noah. You know I love you. Just like I know you love me. Nothing will ever change my mind, alright? We’re both right here. We need to remain here, focus on that.” 

I let out a broken breath and brushed my lips over her forehead, my hands going back to grasp behind her neck. “Please don’t leave, don’t leave me in the shape you found me.” 

“Never. I will never leave you like that again,” she buried her face into my chest, breathing me in. 

I rested my chin on top of her head. “I love you and I want this so bad, angel. I want you.”

“I love you, Noah. I’ll reassure you as many times as I have to,” Y/N turned her head up at me now. “But you have to trust that I won’t let you fall. I’m here with you. It’s you and me, okay?” 

I blinked while letting out a calming breath. “I didn’t mean to ruin the night with my worries.” 

She kissed the tip of my nose. “You didn’t. And don’t apologize for your feelings. I know what we’ve gone through has done a lot. But we’re moving past that, Noah. I’m proud of that and I’d like for you to start trusting me.”

“I do,” I promised her with a kiss. “I do trust you.” 

“Good,” she rose to her tiptoes to lay another kiss on my lips, this one deeper than the last but she pulled away before I could slip my tongue in. “Take care of our baby. I’ll see you two tomorrow night.” 

With a heart doubled in size and adoration in my eyes, I watched Y/N as she slinked inside her apartment, throwing a peace sign over her shoulder at me.

We’ll be okay. 

NOAH

Grunting, I helped Nicholas, Folio, and Jolly maneuver the large board out of the truck and down the ramp to bring it inside the large warehouse where we had everything else almost set up. It was just before eleven a.m. and even with a second cup of coffee, the caffeine hadn’t seemed to take effect quite yet. After I dropped off Y/N at home last night, I returned to Salem, who was still curled up on my pillow when I left him, and as I lay next to him, my mind was plagued with negative thoughts I tried so hard to push away. It kept me up till almost four in the morning then four hours later, Jolly knocked on my bedroom door to wake me. 

As soon as we all arrived at the warehouse, I put on my best professional face and went to work going over the original plans with Orie, making sure we all were on the same page. This was our first music video in our new era so we wanted to make sure it was perfect. 

Now, as I stared up at the large board, pulling on the ends of my white shirt, I allowed my mind to wander to Y/N, wondering what she was up to right now. 

Did she like the paint idea? 

Was the sex good enough? It was great for me but I hoped there was no pain for her. She said there wasn’t. 

It sounded like she enjoyed it. 

Was I too vocal in my proclamations? 

No, I know I wasn’t. Y/N returned those proclamations every time. 

I ran an unsteady hand through my hair while letting out a long sigh, and staring down at my feet. 

My emotions were a part of me, and in this relationship, they blended with Y/N’s. Although, there are times I had these storms inside of me, never because of her, but from previous damage; the triggers from my past. I was certain things would be okay and this self-deprecation would pass. 

I desired Y/N’s presence like a madman gone awol. In those moments of a storm, I had to find my calm and center myself, typically by myself. But with Y/N, I didn’t have to do that. Like my music, she was my muse. 

“Noah?” 

Glancing over my shoulder, I gave a small smile to Nicholas. “Yea?” 

“Are you alright? You’ve been kind of quiet all morning,” he observed while stuffing his hands in the pockets of his black hoodie. 

I eventually knew someone would notice my quiet demeanor. I’d only been humoring when it was dire to do so. 

Fuck, I missed Y/N. The negative thoughts monster has bitten his way through the bars.

I hated that this had come out of nowhere, sinking its teeth inside of me with no abandon. Our date last night was amazing but these fucking nerves kept trying to sabotage things once again. I did my best to not allow them to. 

I needed to stop worrying about last night, knowing I could change anything about what happened even though there was nothing that needed to change. Just like today, I needed to stop worrying about everything that could go wrong and focus on everything that would go right. 

“You know you can talk to me,” Nicholas’ voice snapped me from my thoughts. 

“I know,” I nodded curtly. “I’m fine. I just want things to go perfect today.” 

He reassured me with a squeeze to my shoulder. “It will. We’ve been planning the details for months.” 

I shifted all of my weight from one foot to the other, casting my gaze away from him and towards everyone who continued to work tirelessly. 

“You miss Y/N?” 

My eyes darted back over to Nicholas. “She texted me earlier after she helped Astrid open Fika. They’re going shopping before grabbing some late lunch. I was going to meet Y/N at her place with Salem once we were done here.” 

“So let that be the light to help you through today.” 

I scratched my chin and nodded. “Yeah, I know.” 

“Noah! Nicholas! The red lights on the masks aren't working!” Orie’s voice boomed in the vast space of the warehouse. 

Motioning Nicholas along, we spent the next handful of hours directing, watching, and redoing some scenes of the music video a few times over to make sure everything went off without a hitch; the perfectionist in me. We even stopped for a few-minute break so Orie could try and throw candy into Folio’s mouth while I peeked at the few unread messages from Y/N. 

Angel 🪽: I may have bought a few things I’d like to model for you later. If you’re up for it. 😉

A sudden burst of warmth spread to my cheeks, something that didn't go unnoticed by Orie, who snickered. 

“Oh, there’s only one person who can get you to smile like that.” 

My eyes pinned into him, a sharp look that said mind your own business. Stepping away from the group of them, I responded to Y/N’s message. 

Me: I’d never turn down a show from you, angel. Can I get a hint?

Angel 🪽: It’s red. And I’m very excited for you to take it off. 

Fuck. 

I adjusted myself with a cough and spent the next couple of minutes texting her with a bright smile. It was nearing nightfall which meant we were close to recording the next scene of the music video. 

Angel 🪽: Astrid has not stopped gushing about Jolly. It’s kind of cute though when she calls him Joakim. Did you know that she’s thinking of naming a drink after him at Fika? 

I snorted while glancing up at Jolly, who was busy texting away on his phone; most likely to Astrid. 

Me: I’d love to know the name of this drink. 

Angel 🪽: Älskling. It means honey. She’s thinking honey, Earl orange, and pomegranate tea. Because he’s “sweet like honey.” 

Angel 🪽: Noah Sebastian, don’t tell Jolly I told you because I know you can’t keep things like this to yourself. 

Feigning a hurt expression, I sent her a selfie and then typed out my response. 

Me: My lips are sealed. But I have to get back to work. Me and Salem should be at your place around ten. I’ll grab some food on the way. 

Angel 🪽: Burgers? 🥺

Angel 🪽: Also, you gave you the right to look so fucking good, huh? I can’t wait to kiss those lips. 

The way my heart jumped in my chest made it almost hard to breathe. 

Me: Whatever you want, angel. 

Angel 🪽: Just you. And burgers. I’ll always take a burger. 

Pocketing my phone, I rounded a finger towards everyone, my voice carrying throughout the space around me. 

“Alright! Let’s film this pool scene before it gets too cold for the girls.” 

Two hours later, it was nearing eight in the evening and all we had left to shoot was Bad Omens part of the video. We were in the home stretch and I was practically bouncing on the soles of my feet knowing that I’d be seeing Y/N in a few more hours. 

As the four of us were dressed in our outfits for the music video, I chatted quietly with Folio while fixing the collar of his jacket. He’d been busy on every break today either talking to his girlfriend or planning something. 

“How are things going with her?” I questioned. 

The smile that spread on his face made a faint one pull on mine, knowing that one of my best friends was happy. 

“Really good. I’d love to have you guys meet her soon.” 

I nodded. “Definitely.” 

Folio’s eyes peered over my shoulder, a smirk now pulling on his face and he wiggled his eyebrows. Before I could ask what he was staring at, that invisible string in my chest vibrated with such vigor, that it nearly knocked me off my feet. 

“Well, look at this group of handsome men!” 

Spinning on my heels, I saw Y/N and Astrid walk into the warehouse with bags of food from one of our favorite diners and both of them holding onto two trays of drinks. My heart ran amok in my chest as my stomach flipped three times over at seeing Y/N wearing the yellow hoodie I wore last night when I dropped her off. 

“I swung by your place to grab Salem and pack you an overnight bag so once you’re finished here, we can head straight to my place. And yes, I did steal your sweater,” she answered my thoughts. 

“Yellow is your color, angel,” I mused while slowly closing the distance to her. “You didn’t have to do all of this.” 

Astrid walked up to Jolly, who grabbed the things from her and laid a kiss on her lips; her laughter echoing around us. 

Y/N shrugged while I mimicked Jolly’s actions of taking the things from her hands. 

“We know how hard all of you are working today, it’s the least we could do.” 

Orie came up to grab the food and drinks from me before dispersing it to everyone. 

“Thank god you’re here, Y/N. Noah’s been really bossy today.” 

She placed a hand on her hip, cocking it out while narrowing her eyes at me. “Bossy, huh?” 

“He’s a tyrant,” Orie chuckled before taking a bite of his burger. 

I wrapped my arms around Y/N, breathing her in when I brushed my nose along her hairline. “You’re not going to turn her on your side, Orie. You’re wasting your time.” 

She raised her lips to meet mine and I hummed in delight when I tasted the milkshake she must have had on the way over here. Even though Y/N was here in my arms, I still couldn’t quiet the negative frame of mind that plagued me throughout the day. 

“I like this new look,” Y/N straightened out my jacket. 

All I could do was nod in response and her brows creased in worry. “Are you alright?” 

Linking our hands together, I pulled her through the warehouse to slip outside where I knew no one would be. We finished the pool scene a while ago and the extras had left for the night. 

“Oh, a pool? Are we going skinny dipping?” Y/N teased with a wink. 

I ran a hand through my already-styled hair, still not saying anything. My mind was a jumbled mess and I was afraid if I tried to speak, my words wouldn’t make sense. 

“Noah, what is going on? You’re worrying me.” 

Her warm hands cupped my cheeks so I had to look at her, those bright eyes pleading with worry. 

“Talk to me,” Y/N breathed. 

“Did you enjoy our date? Was it to your standards? Did I do alright with everything?” 

The questions blurted out like word vomit. 

“Of course I did, Noah!” Those eyes darted back and forth between mine. “I had a wonderful time. Did I do something to make you think otherwise?” 

I clutched her sides. “No, you didn’t! I promise. I know we talked about things last night. I wanted to make sure last night was everything you wanted.” 

“It was,” she adjusted the collar of my turtle neck. “I promise.”  

“I felt even closer to you than I ever have before. Especially when we had sex and I just wanted reassurance,” I sighed. “That’s ridiculous, isn’t it?”

“Mochi, I loved every second with you. I loved everything about it. I felt closer and more connected with you too. Stop fussing if I had a great time. I’d sit and watch ants crawl out of the ground if it meant I could be with you.”

Something flashed in my mind that brought a genuine smile to my face and washed away all of those worries. 

Y/N crossed her arms over her chest. "You'd sit and get a tattoo with me?"

I brushed away a loose strand of hair that fell from her braid behind her ear, fingers trailing against the skin of her neck.

"I'd sit and watch ants crawl out of a hole for hours if that meant I'm sitting next to you," I vowed with hooded eyes as I stared down at her lips.

I pressed a kiss to her lips. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you. I take it we’re on for a second date then?” 

“I’m wide open,” Y/N winked with a kiss on my cheek. 

“Good,” I grinned. 

“Noah! We’re ready!” 

We both glanced over to the large opening of the warehouse to Nicholas who was waving us inside. 

“So, you’re staying the rest of the shoot?” I asked. 

Y/N beamed. “Nowhere else I’d rather be.” 

READER

As I moved about my bedroom, tossing things into the suitcases that laid out on my bed, there was a delicate knock on my open door and Chase gave me a warm smile. 

“Malcolm and Noah are at the store right now and wondering if there’s anything else you need for this weekend,” he sat down on the edge of my bed. 

“No, just the list I gave them,” I said while zipping up my suitcase. 

“Are you nervous?” Chase asked, playing with Salem. 

“A bit, yeah,” I sighed while plopping down onto the bed next to him. “This is our first album as a three-piece. It’s completely different from our other albums so I’m afraid people won’t vibe with it.” 

Chase squeezed my knee. “They will. The reviews from the singles we already released are positive.” 

“I know. I’ve just been in my head a lot.” 

There was a slight hesitation in Chase’s breath before he asked his next question. 

“Have you talked to your parents at all?” 

My heart sank with guilt and I began chipping away at my nail polish. “It’s been a few days since I talked with my dad. With everything from trying to plan the album release party and Noah, I guess I kind of forgot to call him.” 

Chase wrapped an arm around me to pull me into his chest. “Your dad understands how busy you are. He’d never hold it against you.” 

I snorted. “Unlike my mom. Part of me wants to call her and give her an update on my life. Because I do love her, regardless of all of her faults, but I’m just afraid that she’ll judge me; again.” 

“Do whatever your heart tells you, sweets. You never know, she might surprise you.” 

Both of us shared a knowing look before we burst out in a fit of laughter knowing the odds of that happening. 

“But stop worrying about the small stuff, Y/N. Ethan said the house is booked, the guest list was sent out, and the caterers are paid. Everything is set, all we have to do is show up and promote the album,” Chase said as Salem lay between us. 

When I nodded, he stood to his feet and placed a kiss on top of my head then slipped out of my room. Pausing packing for a moment, I reached for my phone that was charging on my nightstand and I let my finger hover over my mom's contact for a long moment, wondering if I really wanted to do this or if it was the guilt for not reaching out to her more. 

Pros: she could be happy for me and even want to show up at the party. 

Cons: she calls me a disappointment yet again and criticizes my choices. 

“Fuck it,” I groaned then clicked on her name. 

It rang twice before going straight to voicemail. I rolled my eyes, knowing that she ignored my call, but tried not to dwell on the way my stomach dropped. 

“Hey mom, it’s me. How have things been? I heard you went to Greece for a few weeks to visit family. I bet that was nice, I’d love to see some pictures. Maybe we could meet up for coffee to talk?” 

I ran my sweaty palms on my sweats before continuing. “I have some news. Hollow Souls new album releases this Saturday and we're throwing this party to celebrate it. I know you never were too keen on my career choice but it would mean a lot if you came. I’ll text you the details. S'agapó.” 

Ending the call by saying I loved her in Greek, I hit the red button with a disappointed sigh. I knew there was a higher chance she wouldn’t answer my call rather than actually answering it. Instead of dwelling on it, I texted my dad. 

Me: Can I call? 

His response came almost instantly. 

Dad: You never have to ask, sweetheart. 

With a smile, I decided to FaceTime him instead and broke out in a large smile when his face appeared on the screen. His hair had a bit more gray than the last time and a few more wrinkles in the corners of his eyes. The glasses were practically falling off his nose but when he saw me, he pushed them up. 

“There she is! Oh, I’m loving the new hair!” He beamed. 

“Thanks Dad. I’m sorry I haven’t called in a while, life’s been kind of crazy,” I explained while leaning against the headboard. 

My dad waved me off as he spun around in his office chair, the large and filled bookcases now his backdrop. “It’s alright, sweetheart. How have things been?” 

We spent the next few minutes catching up when Noah entered my room, both hands full of bags. When I went to help him, he held up the bags higher so I couldn’t. With a playful glare at him, I turned my attention back to my dad while Noah went about emptying the bags. 

“So your mom didn’t answer?” 

Briefly ignoring the questioning glance from Noah, I shook my head at my dad. 

“I don’t know why I’m surprised. It’s like she has this radar that goes off before I call to talk about my life. If it’s not about her, she doesn't care,” I pulled my knees up to my chest so Noah could sit down in front of me. 

My dad took off his glasses to rub his eyes before putting them back on his nose. “I’m sorry sweetheart. I wish she never took her own frustrations out on you. She’s unhappy with how things ended with the divorce and she can’t seem to heal from it.” 

Noah’s fingers grazed over the exposed skin of my ankle. 

“All these years later and I still try to make her proud of me,” I shrugged. 

“I know sweetheart. But sometimes, you have to think about yourself and make yourself proud before her. That’s what matters.” 

Noah’s hand brushed away the hair from my face and I smiled up at him. 

“Oh, whose hand is that?” My dad's questionable voice came from my phone. “Those are a lot of tattoos.” 

With a glance at Noah, he nodded so I shifted my position for my phone to not only show me but him as well.

“I wish I could introduce you two face to face but this will have to do. Dad, this is Noah.” 

Noah gave a small wave to the phone. “Hi, Mr. Y/L/N, it’s an honor to meet you.” 

“Shit, even your neck is covered! That had to hurt,” my dad chuckled while rubbing his own neck. “It’s an honor to meet you as well, Noah. My daughter has told me quite a lot about you. All good things, no need to worry.” 

My cheeks burned and Noah wrapped an arm around my side, pulling us closer. 

“You have a wonderful daughter. I want to assure you that I love her and will take great care of her,” he vowed. 

My father snorted while moving about his house now. “I knew it from the moment I saw that video of you two performing on stage together during your last tour that you loved Y/N. It was clear in the way you smiled at her.” 

“Dad,” I muttered under my breath. 

Noah, however, looked at me with deep affection in those almond eyes. “I think I knew it back then as well, it just took me longer to admit it.” 

“Call it father’s intuition,” my dad said. “But I have to go. I’m meeting some friends for ramen.” 

“Ugh,” I groaned. “I would kill for some Japanese ramen right now.” 

“Well,” my father started while slipping into his jacket one-handed. “Bring Noah the next time you visit and we can all go out for some. There’s this great place next to this shop that sells some kind of Manga drawings. I don’t understand it but the kids your age seem to love it.” 

“We’ll be there,” Noah promised with a kiss on the side of my head. 

“Have fun at the album release party, sweetheart. I can’t wait to hear the new songs!” 

We both waved at the screen before it went black, me hanging up the call. 

“Your dad seems like a great guy,” Noah noted while rolling off of my bed and trotting over to my dresser. 

He opened the top two drawers, rummaging around for some of his clothes. 

About two weeks ago, he slowly brought some of his things over here while I did the same at his place. We’d been bouncing back and forth between the two but with how busy I’d been planning the album release party and all the finishing touches for the album, it’d been a few days since Noah and I spent the night together. So now that we were leaving tomorrow for the weekend, he decided to spend the night at my place so we could ride up to Big Bear with Chase and Malcolm. 

“He is,” I rested my chin on my knees. “I really hope one day we can visit him together.” 

“We will.”

Noah promised with a kiss on my head before retreating out of my room so he could shower while I finished packing all of our things, the excitement of this weekend making me dance around my bedroom. 

READER

My heels clicked against the hardwood floor as I typed away on my phone, the hustle and bustle of everyone setting up for the party falling away from me. 

The Power Puff Girls group chat:

Me: You guys on your way back? 

Astrid: Had to stop at the store quickly! Matt texted Jolly to grab some Dr. Pepper.  We picked up Maxxine about thirty minutes ago but would have been back at the house by now if Jolly wasn’t taking FOREVER in the book section. He’s trying to find some kind of new fantasy book to read this weekend. 

Maxxine: It’s kind of cute watching the two of you giggle with your own inside jokes while I just stand here as a third wheel. 

I let out my own chuckle as I stopped in front of the large mirror in the rental house, brushing away any lint from my white dress. The sleeves were lace and stopped right at my elbows and the bottom of my dress rested mid-thigh. I was afraid that the front may have been too low cut but Noah reassured me it was fine. 

With an array of kisses between my breasts. 

My phone vibrated in my hand and I read the new message. 

Astrid: Oh hush you. 

Me: Well, we’re very excited for you to join us, Maxxine. Bring some more females into this group of male hormones. I’d been dying to introduce you to someone! 

Maxxine: No, Y/N. Please. My last date was so horrendous, I still haven’t recovered. 

“Angel?” 

Glancing away from my phone, I smiled at Noah as he came bounding down the stairs dressed in a black long-sleeve and almost eggshell white pants. I licked my lips at the sight of him dressed up. It wasn’t anything fancy but it still made my heart flutter. 

“Have you seen my shoes? The black-.” 

“The black lace-ups,” I nodded. “Yes, they’re in the closet in our room. Next to my house shoes.” 

He pressed a kiss to my lips. “Thank you.” 

As Noah retreated upstairs again, I turned back down to my phone. 

Astrid: We promise, this guy is different! 

Maxxine: I don’t know. I think I should just be single for a while. My luck with men hasn’t been the greatest. I always chose losers. 

Me: Please, you’ll be thanking us for setting you up with him. 

Setting my phone on the kitchen counter, I peered over to Jesse, who was setting up the drinks and snacks at the dining room table. Noah mentioned to me the other night how Jesse had been feeling quite down a lot lately due to his anxiety and had been falling into himself, closing himself off from everyone. While Jesse wouldn’t admit it, we all had an inkling feeling that seeing some of his best friends get into relationships, made him doubt himself in finding someone. We also knew how hard of a time he had in Pittsburg when Erra was there touring a few months ago, so Astrid and I decided to set him up with a mutual friend of ours and I invited her to the party tonight. 

“Hey,” I slinked up beside Jesse and bumped my shoulder with his. 

“Hi,” he smiled. “You look beautiful. Excited for tonight?” 

“Thank you! I am. But I just wanted to let you know that there’s someone I want you to meet tonight.” 

He set down the cups and raised a brow. “Why me?” 

“Oh, no reason,” I shrugged before patting his chest and walking away. 

“Y/N! What’s that supposed to mean!”

Giggling, I met up with Chase and Malcolm in the main living area of the house. Chase was brushing away Maclolm’s long auburn locks and I smiled at the two of them. I knew they were nervous about being open about their relationship in the beginning but now they were blossoming together and I couldn’t have been happier for them. 

“How are we feeling?” I asked them to check-in. 

Malcolm ran a hand down the front of his black dress shirt. “Nervous as hell.” 

Chase rubbed his shoulder. “It’ll be fine, love. The support already has been incredible. It’s only going to get better.” 

I wrapped my arms around both of them. “In case this album flops, I want you guys to know that I’m glad we took this chance. I love what we created.” 

“It’s not going to flop,” Chase rolled his bright blue eyes but returned the hug. “Love you two, idiots.” 

I pulled away from them and turned towards the front door when it opened, smiling at Astrid, Jolly, and Maxxine who walked inside. My eyes darted from Maxxine to Jesse, who froze in the middle of his tracks. He took in the sight of her; long legs, olive skin, long black hair, and bright hazel eyes. 

Maxxine, who had her arms full of bags, gave a slow once over of Jesse with a blush and faint smile. 

“Hi,” he cleared his throat. “Let me help you.” 

“Thank you,” she allowed Jesse to take a couple of bags from her. 

Astrid and I shared a proud smile. 

“Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?” 

Noah’s deep voice sang in my ear as he wrapped his arms around me from behind, a kiss to the side of my neck. Turning in his embrace, I pecked his lips. 

“Hm, once or twice,” I wrapped my arms behind his neck. 

With the soft tune of music playing in the background, our bodies began to sway lightly. When his eyes fell behind me, his brows furrowed together. 

“Who’s the girl with Jesse?” 

I turned slightly in his embrace to see Jesse and Maxxine laughing about something with each other. She was lightly touching his arm and the smile on his face was one that you couldn’t scrub away no matter how hard you tried. 

“Oh, that’s a friend of mine and Astrid’s. Her name is Maxxine. I thought that maybe she and Jesse would hit it off,” I explained. 

Noah’s lips left feather-like kisses along my forehead. “I love you.” 

I grasped the front of his shirt, engulfing myself in his scent. 

“I love you too. But before the party starts, I want to show you something.” 

Linking our hands together, we slipped away from the group and down the hall of the rental home to the office where I already had things set up. I closed the door behind us and motioned for Noah to sit on the long sofa while I sat on the recliner chair diagonal from him. On the table was a pair of wireless headphones that were already hooked up to my phone. 

“What’s this?” Noah wondered after falling onto the couch. 

I handed him the headphones. “I know you’ll hear this song later but I wanted you to hear it for the first time with just the two of us. It’s an important song and it means a lot.” 

My heart was drumming inside of the confines of my chest making it hard to breathe. I finished recording this song months ago and besides me, Chase, and Malcolm no one else heard it. I wanted Noah to be the first. 

Once he placed the headphones over his ears, I loaded up the song on my phone and hit play. Even though I couldn’t hear the song physically, I could hear it in my mind. 

I know it's warmer where you are and it's safer by your side. But right now I can't be what you want. Just give it time.

Noah’s shoulders went stiff as he flicked his eyes up at me, steepling his fingers together in his lap. I gave him a reassuring nod, urging him to continue. 

And if you and I can make it through the night. And if you and I can keep our love alive, we'll fight. 

Now nothing gave way on his face as he stared down at his hands, the only movement was the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. 

We can meet in the middle. Bodies and souls collide. Dance in the moonlight where all the stars align. Oh you and I, oh you and I, oh. 

I couldn’t bear being so far from him while not knowing how he was feeling so I rose from my chair to sit on the other end of the couch next to him. 

Well, it's cold when we're apart and I hate to feel this die. But you can't give me what I want. Just give it time

Noah’s eyes fluttered shut and I swore I saw all the oxygen leave his lungs, telling me I knew what part of my lyrics he just heard. 

But for now we stay so far. 'Til our lonely limbs connect. I can't keep you in these arms. So I'll keep you in my mind.

My bottom lip caught between my teeth as my knee bounced with anticipation, wanting desperately to know what he thought about my song. But I didn’t want to disturb him yet. 

Can we meet in the middle? Bodies and souls collide. Dance in the moonlight. Where all the stars align. Oh you and I, oh you and I, oh.

Glancing at my phone, I realized the song ended, but Noah made no effort to take off the headphones. My lips parted to speak when I noticed a lone tear roll down his cheek. 

“Noah?” I tapped his arm. 

With the heat of my touch, it was as if he came alive again. Ripping off the headphones, Noah’s lips attacked mine with an inferno, making me fall back onto the couch with him on top of me. My fingers quickly found their usual place in his hair while he hooked my leg around his hips. 

“Angel,” he fanned in the crook of my neck. 

“Did-did you like it?” I asked. 

Noah’s tongue brushed along the pulsepoint of my neck and I shivered underneath him. 

“I loved it,” he breathed as his teeth scraped up along my jawline before slipping his tongue into my mouth. 

We had a short fight for dominance before reluctantly I let Noah win, his hands running up and down my bare thighs. When he pulled away, I was dizzy; kiss drunk. And his eyes burned as he looked down at me. 

“Are you sure?” I questioned, still filled with worry he didn’t like it. 

“Y/N,” he lifted my chin with the finger that had the small heart tattooed on it. “I wouldn’t lie to you about this. It was perfect.”

“Thank you,” I wrapped my legs around him to bring his body closer to mine, moaning when I felt the outline of his cock brush along my heated core. 

His forehead fell onto my chest and sighed. “Do we have to go out there? Can we stay here the two of us? In our bubble.” 

I lifted his head to kiss his nose. “Unfortunately, this party is partly for me so I have to show up.” 

Grudgingly, Noah untangled himself from me and then helped me to my feet, fixing my dress and hair for me. 

With our fingers linked together, he led me back into the main part of the house where the party was already well underway. 

THIRD PERSON POV

The crowd of people kept congratulating the members of Hollow Souls for an amazing album. Everyone loved the new songs and was excited about the new direction they were headed toward. Chase and Malcolm chatted with one of the reps from the record label while Y/N was talking with someone she didn’t expect to see there. 

“I can’t believe you flew all the way to Los Angeles from Vermont for this! You didn’t have to,” she smiled while wrapping her arms around the man in a hug. 

“I wouldn’t miss this for the world, Y/N,” Joe shrugged. “Where’s Noah?” 

“Um, last I saw he was talking with his friend Bryan.” 

She glanced around the room but broke out in a large smile when Noah slinked up beside her and left a kiss on her cheek. 

“There you are. I have someone I’d like you to meet. This is Joe,” Y/N pointed between the two men. 

Noah extended a hand. “Nice to officially meet you.” 

“Yeah you too,” Joe shook his hand with a smile. 

The three of them chatted for a long while after moving to one of the couches in the living room,  Y/N watching with fondness as her boyfriend and one of her good friends got along pretty well. She even stole a glance over towards Jesse and Maxxine who were seated on the couch across from them. His arm was thrown over the top of the couch, fingers grazing over the skin of Maxxine’s shoulder. Every so often she would slink in closer towards him. 

“Would you like a drink, angel?” Noah asked. 

Her eyes snapped back to him and she nodded. “Dr. Pepper, please.” 

Once Noah stood from the couch, Y/N opened her mouth to ask Joe how life was going when someone else sat down on the couch next to her, almost in Noah’s previous spot. 

Devon? Derrick? No, his name was Dennis; a mutual acquaintance of Ethan, their manager. 

“Hey, Y/N. I thought I’d sneak in to tell you how awesome the new album sounds,” he slicked back his overly gelled hair. 

She gave him a tight-lipped smile. “Thank you.” 

While she knew of him from things Ethan would say, Y/N never actually met him. 

“I love the new vibe you guys have going on. It’s very different from your old albums. Although, I must say that my favorite is still your self-entitled. Trey’s vocals kick ass on that.” 

Joe sat up straighter from his spot on the other side of Y/N while she narrowed her eyes at Dennis. 

“Everyone has their own opinions I suppose,” she said while trying to pull down the ends of her dress when she caught Dennis staring at her legs. 

“You know,” he licked his lips and moved closer to Y/N. “You’re doing really well without Trey. How about we go out for a drink?” 

“No thank you, I’m not interested.” 

Y/N slinked back closer to Joe, who gladly accepted it.

“One drink?” Dennis tried again with a sly smirk. 

“I don’t drink,” Y/N narrowed her eyes while crossing her arms over her chest, hoping to show the guy that she was finished with this conversation. 

Joe sent a look over to Malcolm, who was standing in the kitchen next to Noah, and with that shared expression, the redhead nodded. 

“Noah,” Malcolm motioned behind Noah. 

With a perplexed look, Noah turned around and nearly crushed the glass in his hand at what he saw. Y/N was almost in Joe’s lap, trying to get away from some douchebag who kept advancing towards her. 

“What the fuck,” he grumbled under his breath, nostrils flaring. 

Tonight was not the night to lose his cool but he could feel that ugly feeling burning low in his gut; the feeling he despised. He didn’t want to come off as jealous or that he couldn’t trust Y/N because he could. But Noah did not like the way this guy was almost undressing her with his eyes. 

Joe wanted to intervene but also knew that Y/N had it handled; something she’d proven before. 

She glanced around the room with panic in her eyes until they fell on Noah, utter relief filling them. The guy followed her gaze and scoffed when he realized what she Y/N was looking at. 

Noah’s blood ran cold as his heart was thumping loudly in his ears, everything becoming white noise to him. His fingers shook at his sides, doing his best to remain calm. 

“Who is that guy?” He asked Malcolm. 

“Dennis. Ethan’s assistant.”

Matt, who had snuck up beside Noah, urged him with a look. 

“This asshole just asked Y/N to go outside with him for more privacy.” 

Fire burned in Noah’s eyes as he snapped them back over to the couch, where he nearly choked at the sight in front of him. Dennis was dragging his fingers down Y/N’s neck with intimacy that was reserved for Noah only. That was his spot. Y/N was his, it was proven tonight when she played her song for him. 

His insides burned with rage that it nearly made him unable to see anything in front of him. 

The sound of Y/N’s hand smacking Dennis’ hand away broke through the haze in Noah’s vision. 

“Don’t fucking touch me,” she seethed. 

Joe quickly pulled Y/N up from the couch just as Noah pushed himself off the edge of the counter and made his way through the crowd over towards his girlfriend; hands shaking with more vigor now. It would be so easy to punch Dennis and show him who Y/N belongs to, however, Noah wouldn’t create a scene tonight; not when this night meant so much to Hollow Souls. 

With three deep breaths, Noah came to a halt in front of Y/N who quickly found solace underneath his arm.

“Everything alright?” He wondered. 

Y/N, albeit with the annoyed look in her usual bright eyes, wore a faux smile. “Yeah, now it is.” 

“I think you were just leaving, no?” Joe asked Dennis. 

The man shook his head while slowly rising to his feet. “No, actually I wasn’t. I heard that Y/N is single so I thought to shoot my shot.” 

Noah’s body vibrated with anger so Y/N rested a hand on his chest, her touch immediately calming him. 

“I’d like to know where you heard that,” Noah spoke slowly, even though he was on edge. 

“Does it matter?” Dennis harshly laughed. “All I’m saying is that she looks sexy as fuck tonight. I thought we could sneak away for a bit but it seems like she’s too far up your ass to even notice there are other guys here.” 

“I already said no,” Y/N’s voice was stern. 

Noah’s eyes sliced Dennis in half but remained calm; an eerie calm that seemed to have the gathering crowd of their friends on edge. His arm was still around her, claiming Y/N as his own but for added measure he left a kiss on the side of her head. 

Dennis raised his hands in defeat. “Alright, I get it. It’s fine, from what I hear from Trey, you can’t be satisfied anyway.” 

Chase appeared almost out of nowhere and grabbed him by the collar of his green polo. “Time for you to go. Now.” 

“Chase, please. No fighting,” Y/N begged still in Noah’s embrace. 

His usual bright blue eyes were dark, a deep hue of midnight, while he glared at Dennis. 

“I promise, no fighting,” Chase gritted out through clenched teeth. “I’m only going to show this asshole the way out.” 

Noah and Dennis shared one final glance, victory dancing on the former's lips before he whispered in Y/N’s ear. 

“Upstairs. Now.” 

Her eyes sparkled when she gazed up at him with a mischievous smirk. The both of them slipped away almost unnoticed by everyone, running up the stairs two at a time with Noah smacking her ass, her giggles echoing far behind them. 

READER

As soon as we were in the confines of our bedroom in the rental house, Noah lifted me in the air to press my back against the door. I wrapped my legs around his waist while his hands gripped my thighs. There was a dire need of want in his eyes as he crashed his lips to mine in such a frenzied, hungry kiss, that it made me see stars from the force of it. His teeth grazed over my tongue and then my lips, drawing the teeniest bit of blood. 

“Fuck, Noah!” I exclaimed while dotting a finger to my lip. 

Growling, he began biting my neck, licking away Dennis’ touch. “I don’t know who the fuck he thinks he is. No one will ever fucking talk to you like that or touch what’s mine.”

“Oh god, yes,” I hissed, running my hands through his hair when he sucked on my sweet spot.

Somehow Noah managed to yank off my panties in our position and stuffed them deep into his pocket. One lone finger slipped between us when he pinned me to the door again and started rubbing fast circles on my clit. 

“Shit. Fuck. So good,” I crowed while pulling on the ends of his hair. 

Once I was wet enough, Noah quickly pulled out his cock, rubbing a fist over it for a few pumps before slipping in between my folds with a hard snap of his hips that we rattled against the door. I felt so full, so stretched open, that I gasped; not realizing at first that Noah forgot to put on a condom. 

“I want that motherfucker to hear who you belong to, angel,” he grunted with each thrust, nails digging into the skin of my bare ass to keep me grounded against him. 

“Fuck, god. So good,” I panted while scratching at his shoulders. “Right there.” 

We both were grunting so loudly and with the banging of the door, there wasn’t a doubt in my mind that everyone could hear us downstairs. But none of them mattered. 

Only Noah and I did. 

His lips attacked mine once again, teeth smacking and tongues exploring every inch of each other's mouths. 

“Say my name, I want him and any other man who thinks they have a shot, to hear who you belong to,” Noah bit down hard on my neck, his thrusts were fast and relentless. 

“NOAH!” I screamed when his finger pressed against my clit again, being exactly what I needed to come apart on his cock. 

My body writhed in his tight hold on me and with the force of his hands on my ass, I knew that I would have bruises in the morning but I didn’t fucking care. 

“You’re mine.” He grunted while craning my neck back by my hair. 

Noah went back to working on the raised red mark on my neck, right alongside the other bite marks he left before. 

“Yes, I am,” I rasped, gone in ecstasy. 

“Forever angel,” Noah’s hips stilled before pulling himself completely out of me. “Fucking say it.” 

“I’m yours forever, Noah!” I proclaimed with a feverish nod. 

“You’re mine, angel,” he gruffed while now wrapping his hand around his cock. 

It was thick and red, almost angry from being denied release. 

“It felt too good and I didn’t want to risk it,” he sighed while letting me fall to my feet. 

I kissed his lips, this time more gentle than our previous kisses. “Cum on my chest.” 

Noah’s movements around his cock faltered for a moment, pupils dilating to pure black. 

“What?” 

Dropping to my knees, I pulled down the front of my dress to expose my bare chest to him and peered up at him through my lashes. 

“I want you to mark me, Noah. Mark what’s yours,” I begged. 

“Shit, Y/N,” he mused while running one hand through my hair, dragging his fingers down my neck over my chest to pull and pinch my nipples. 

His grip around his cock was tight, knuckles turning white as he moved his hand up and down with such a velocious pace, it almost made it hard to focus on it. I licked my lips when I spotted the precum Noah used to spread over the head of his cock and I whined with the desire to taste him. 

The hand he had wrapped around the back of my neck to keep me in place tightened its grip as he bent over me, resting his forehead against the door. Noah was still dressed but I could only imagine that the muscles in his stomach were taut, his release so close. 

“Cum for me, Noah. Please,” I begged with a whiny breath. 

“Fucking hell,” he howled my name when his warm release shot all over my neck and down between my breasts. 

I hummed in pleasure, seeing the white stickiness run down my stomach, reveling in the feeling of his mark all over me. Noah stared down at me through hooded eyes, his chest heaving with each deep breath. 

“I didn’t think,” he took a deep breath while licking his lips. “I didn’t think that would be so hot.” 

Allow him to help me to my feet, I couldn’t wipe the smirk from my face. “I did, why do you think I asked for it?” 

Noah’s eyes flashed as he bent low to capture my lips in a kiss. “Am I going to keep finding out your secret kinks, angel?” 

“I think so since you discovered two of them already,” I dragged a finger down his cheek. 

“You like possessive sex? I feel terrible for throwing you against the door,” Noah rubbed the back of his neck. 

I shrugged. “It’s not so much the possessive side of it but more so the dominant side of you.” 

He lifted my hand to his lips, leaving a kiss on my palm. “Do you want to head back downstairs?” 

“No, I’m exhausted and need a shower,” I giggled while motioning to my chest. 

Even though his cheeks reddened, the look that crossed his face as he looked me over made my core clench. 

“Get cleaned up and I’ll sneak downstairs to grab us some snacks,” Noah patted my ass, dismissing me towards the bathroom connected to our bedroom. 

“Think Folio will share those chocolate-covered pretzels he brought?” I wondered. 

Noah chuckled while stuffing his cock back into his pants before zipping them. “I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.” 

Right before he slipped through the door, I chastised him when I noticed the large red mark on my neck.

ASTRID

“Okay, I think they’re finally finished,” I chuckled while walking into the bedroom I was sharing with Jolly. “The door stopped rattling awhile ago and when I walked past their bedroom, I heard one of them snoring.” 

Jolly peered up from strumming a few notes on the guitar in his lap and smiled at me. 

“It’s most likely, Noah. Do you know he wears those nose strips?” 

“No way!” I gasped while pulling down the sleeves of his sweater I was wearing, moving about the room to finish getting ready for bed. 

It was his black Bad Omens hoodie, with the hand and gun on the front.

“Yeah, try sleeping in a moving sweatbox and hearing that. I sometimes worry he’ll inhale the bus curtains. That’s Y/N’s problem now,” he chuckled while reaching for me and pulling me to the bed with him. 

I broke out in a fit of giggles when he placed me in his lap and then rested the guitar in mine. He set my fingers in the position they needed to before helping me strum a few notes. 

He placed a kiss on my shoulder. “I’m glad you were able to leave Fika for the weekend to be here with me.” 

I turned my head towards him and kissed his lips. “Jessica can handle it. I need to start loosening the reins a bit and enjoy things more.” 

Jolly’s eyes glinted as he set the guitar down on the floor before lying me back down on the bed, lifting my end of the sweater to reveal all I was wearing underneath was a pair of black underwear. 

“You walked around like this?” His voice rumbled deep within his chest. 

I innocently shrugged. “I didn’t run into anyone. Besides, I’m practically swimming in your sweater. No one would have seen anything.” 

Hooking my underwear with his fingers, Jolly practically ripped them down my legs before flipping me onto my stomach. 

“Keep the sweater on, käraste,” he demanded while spreading my legs wide. 

“Fuck, yes,” I nodded while burying my face into the pillow, hearing Jolly’s belt buckle fall to the floor. 

NOAH

Jolly and I moved around the large kitchen, almost with ease like we’d done this countless times before as we made breakfast for everyone. It was our last day up in Big Bear and we had a full day of activities planned. 

Breakfast, a mountain hike, lunch at a diner in town, and Y/N wanted to steal me away for a few hours to go horseback riding. 

The large table was filled with everyone and I had to stop for a moment to appreciate everyone here who came out to support Hollow Souls. They didn’t need to but they did because Y/N, Chase, and Malcolm became part of our family with that tour that seemed so long ago now. 

“Noah, can you hand me the eggs?” 

Snapping my gaze away from everyone, I turned towards Jolly and handed him the carton of eggs. 

“So,” I smirked while pouring more pancake mix onto the sizzling griddle. “I heard you had a great night last night. I walked past your room to come down to the kitchen for a drink and heard you grunting something in Swedish. What was it?” 

He froze, mixing the eggs in the large bowl for a moment before scoffing. “Like you’re one to talk. We all heard you guys last night. The door wouldn’t stop rattling, shaking the walls.” 

My face was beet red and I adjusted the collar of my sweater to ease it away from my neck. “I’m not sure I know what you’re talking about.” 

“I’m surprised you even heard anything over your snoring,” Jolly shrugged with a sly smirk. “I told Astrid you use nose strips.” 

I dropped the spatula, it clattering to the counter and gasped. “You did not!” 

A sudden movement from the stairs caught both of our attention, our heads snapping to the forms of Jesse and Maxxine walking down, her wearing one of his shirts. With a shared look, Jolly and I scurried over to our girlfriends, me pulling on Y/N’s shirt while she poured herself a cup of coffee. 

“Mochi,” she smacked my hand away. “Not now. I’m hungry and need caffeine. Sex in the shower took a lot out of me this morning.” 

“Angel,” I reached for her again. 

“I’m serious,” she held a stern gaze over the rim of her cup as she looked at me. “I need a break.” 

Rolling my eyes, I turned her around just in time for her to see Jesse hold out the chair for Maxxine, who blushed up at him in thanks. 

“No fucking way!” Y/N sputtered into her cup and then looked back at me. “She stayed the night with him?” 

I wrapped my arms around her, breathing in the peach scent of her body wash, and smiled. “Look at you, little matchmaker.” 

We shared a kiss before I motioned for her to sit down at the table so I could bring her a plate of food. 

Everyone went about the kitchen, filling up their own plates while I sat down next to Y/N, handing her the plate. Once everyone was seated, Malcolm took a long pull of his coffee before setting it down on the dark oak of the table. 

“So, who do you think was louder last night? Jolly or Noah?” 

The noise of my fork falling on my plate rang loudly in all of our ears while Jolly nearly choked on his scrambled eggs. Both of us slowly sank into our seats while Astrid and Y/N shared a look across the table, stifling a fit of giggles behind their hands. 

Noticing the way our faces reddened, Folio spoke up to change the subject. “Did anyone enjoy seeing the snow dogs? Michelle and I had a great time when we were here last time.”

“Oh that’s right,” Davis nodded. “You guys were here for Valentine's Day, right?” 

While their conversation fell on deaf ears, I felt my heart stutter in my chest and glanced over to Y/N, who was having her own conversation with Michael who sat next to her. The realization hit me with such force, that I had to lean farther back into my chair. 

Even though it was well into March, we never spent Valentine's Day together, and honestly, that wasn’t something that sat well with me. My heart yearned to make up for all the times we missed during our time apart and for the rest of breakfast, I made those plans in my mind. 

“Were we really that loud last night?” 

Y/N asked me at the same time Astrid asked Jolly and I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her into me with a chuckle, brushing my lips against her ear. 

“Want to see if we can get even louder before we leave?” I nibbled on her ear lobe. 

[partycatty]

thinking about young mk11 johnny being a bad boyfriend then you meet him again years later when he’s mature and he REGRETS IT SO BAD

i have so many ideas but i can’t get them out recently so ur account gives me life lol <3

OUGH it aches in the bones

older!johnny cage > as the day you left

notes: oooghuig "in another life" trope hurts so BAD.

[ masterlist ]

• a military job wasn't in your grand plan, but a position opened for equipment maintenance it was hard to turn down the potentially heavy paycheck.

• you were buried in your paperwork, taking quick strides to your office to make sense of your diagnostics and order the proper parts for one of the on-field machines when you slam into what feels like a brick wall. just as the force of the blow sends you backward, a hand grabs your arm and suspends you mid-fall.

• you don't even have time to properly react to the scene, only opening your harshly clenched eyes to meet your savior.

• "sorry, i wasn't looking where i—" your apology was cut off when you properly processed just who was in front of you. even with the tattoo peeking through his shirt, you knew that face from anywhere. "johnny?"

• you expected johnny to not even remember you, maybe take a second to realize you weren't just a fan. this expectation is torn from you when he replies with your name, loud and clear. his eyes are wide. gently, he lets go of you to allow you to regain your footing, pulling away as if you were a glass doll bound to shatter.

• he looked the same as when you walked out, perhaps a little more weathered but glowing with charm and personality just as he did twenty odd years ago. thankfully, you thought, he never lost that puppy-like shine in his eyes.

• the moment was lost to him the second he locked eyes. just like that, a torrent of memories flooded back to him. you two were young, too young to be serious in his eyes. johnny was in his acting prime and he couldn't help but flaunt it. all those smiles and sparkly outfits for the cameras but as soon as you were behind closed doors you were nothing more but exhausted.

• "i can't keep living like my life is under a microscope," you huffed, shrugging off the luxury shawl johnny went through hell to make sure you'd have for the red carpet. "would it kill you to just settle down, slow down? i want kids, johnny! i want to go to the store without paparazzi up my ass, i don't need stalkers on our property, i don't need the gold and glamor all the damn time!"

• "well, that's on you for choosing a megastar!" johnny shouted back, undoing his tie in one harsh tug. "all you've ever done is complain when you are literally living large! mansions, super cars, money! and you're complaining."

• you spin around, a horrified expression on your face as you unpacked his wording. "i didn't choose a megastar," your voice drops, so angry you couldn't bring yourself to shout. "i chose john carlton. where the hell is he now, because all i see is a narcissistic child that refuses to grow up."

• you slide your engagement ring off and you slam it into the ground. johnny's eyes widen as he immediately drops to his knees, trying desperately to grasp at the ring as it rolls and spirals out of grasp. he curses to himself, then at you.

• "look at yourself," you grit your teeth. "you care more about a rock than your fiancée. we're done, johnny. you can go tell the media that, too, since that's all you care about."

• johnny blinks once, then twice. he swallows thickly.

• "i'm sorry," is all he can mutter out. god, how he wishes he could say more, but time felt nonexistent when looking at your face. you, however, didn't quite understand his meaning and brushed yourself off.

• "no, it's fine, really," you try to shove past him, anything to break this eye contact that feels as if it's pulling you apart piece by piece. as you think you're out of the weeds, his hand finds its place on your arm once more.

• "please look at me," he pleads, voice barely above a mumble. "i-i haven't seen you in..."

• "—twenty six years," you blink up at him, straining yourself so hard to not break down. "forget it."

• "i'm sorry," he emphasizes the phrase again. "i... i was an asshole, an arrogant, self-centered—"

• "johnny." you cut him off, face stern but voice soft. "it was so many years ago."

• "i know, i know, but — fuck — you've... you've been on my mind this entire time. you never left. god, when you left it felt like my entire... everything fell apart."

• you want to interject, stop him from this spiral, but you can tell he had it bottled up for so long, you'd be cruel to deny him of it now. that, and you had an unfortunate tendency to hear people out and forgive those who don't need your forgiveness.

• "when you walked out i realized just how good i could've had it. you were the only sane person in my world, you tried so hard to keep me in track but i was so afraid of being nothing that i... chose my priorities wrong. you know, i've kept your contact information, even... just in case."

• "i changed my number years ago, johnny. to stop the media from bugging me for a comment."

• "just another thing i fucked up," he runs a hand through his hair. "sorry, i don't mean to be all self destructive." he pauses, and eyes you down. you yourself aged well too, fine lines and trickles of grey hair peeking through your uniform hat. johnny chuckles dryly as his eyes focus on the little details. "you look just as beautiful as the day you left me."

• "don't do this," you quietly plead, eyes now feeling wet and face feeling hot. "not now. not after all this time."

• "i..." he swallows again, now averting his eye contact. the pause is long, and you almost considered walking away before he speaks up again. "i got married, by the way, though i'm sure you saw... in the news."

• "i haven't." johnny shoots a dubious look at you, then realizes you probably avoided his name like the plague in news articles.

• "my wife runs the army. my daughter is commander."

• "daughter?" now it was your turn to frown.

• "cass... cassandra?" johnny explains, though you sense a hint of shame in his tone. "cassie."

• "didn't strike you for a family man." the irony stings when it slips past your lips.

• "i didn't either," he wipes his face. "but i realized... far too late... that what i wanted more than a legacy for myself was a legacy for my family. i wanted my efforts to mean something. i wanted to better the world with more than just shitty movies."

• just as your turn rose to frown, now you couldn't help but let out a chuckle yourself. "your movies weren't shitty," you reply, smiling weakly. "i liked them."

• "no you didn't," his grin is teasing, and you notice just how deep his smile lines were. "no need to lie."

• "honest to god," you hold a hand up, swearing. "they were a nice escape from reality."

• his lips turn into a fine line. maybe your choice of wording was more painful than intended. his fists clench and unclench and you watch his mouth fight to get more words out.

• "i wish..." the always confident actor couldn't bring himself to look at you. "i wish i had grown up sooner, you know." johnny could be digging a dangerous hole, but he didn't care in the moment. he felt young again, nostalgic. "we could have had a life like this together, like you want... wanted."

• "you have that now," you get defensive, trying to put a barrier between his words and your heart. "a wife, a kid, a good job. you got what you wanted."

• "but it's not with you."

• whether it was dread or excitement, your heart flutters. was it really true that after all this time, he still wanted you, missed you like you missed his mature self? your thoughts of what could've been claw their way into your mind, and you feel hazy. your eyes wander around his form again, taking in his impressive physique, kind eyes, mature outfit... stopping at the ring finger. your breath feels sucked from your lungs when you pull yourself back to reality.

• "maybe in another life," you propose, a weak shrug tugging at your shoulders. "but i hope you know i don't... i don't regret what we had. our story, though, ended twenty six years ago, johnny. you're in a new chapter, enjoy it, okay?"

• the rejection at his desperation feels like a gunshot to the chest, like he could just die then and there. yeah, he had roots here, but if you had just asked him to run away with you, lord knows he'd consider it. but you wouldn't ask him to do such a thing, when he's finally got his shit figured out.

• another coworker enters the long hallway, entranced in their task that tears both of your attentions away from the heavy conversation. you know even still that his reputation is important, on screen and now off, too. so, you abandon the conversation as it stands, not giving johnny a chance to agree to your request and spin on your heel, returning to your own assignment and leaving him to his own. your head is down as you hug the papers, wishing to forget that you work with your ex-soulmate. it's an impossible task, really, when you catch his lingering cologne and scent on your body from his hold. that scent didn't change, either.

• johnny feels frozen in place, afraid to move and lose the moment where it stands. he watches you until you turn the corner, and listens for your footsteps until there isn't a trace of them anymore. his heart feels... heavy.

[radiance1]

Inspired by the idea of that one post I did where Tucker downloaded DDLC, fell in love with Monika and then gave her a body. Which is set in the DC universe because why naught lmao.

"I'll bring you back to me..." Monika whispered to the figure on the other side of the glass her hand was pressed against. A soft smile on her face as she looked upon the peacefully 'sleeping' figure that floated inside of the tank.

Tucker, 'asleep' in a tank flowing with ectoplasm that kept his body perfectly preserved and even helped it 'heal' somewhat when Monika wasn't taking him out to run a proper check on his injuries. Eyes softly closed and curled into a ball.

He looked at peace.

Recent magical examinations showed that due to his... circumstances, he was much more akin to something like Danny or Vlad's existence than he was human. Yet, unfortunately, he wasn't quite what they were either.

Maybe if he was, she wouldn't need to do what she has.

Monika sighed and took her hand back, swiftly turning around and walking away. She flicked her hand as she did so, summoning various screens that held various reports over select strands of both magical and scientific experiments.

'Tucker would have loved to see this.' The thought brought a small smile to her lips that swiftly turned to a frown when she remembered the reason behind these experiments. 'No matter,' She thought. 'I'll show him when I bring him back.'

She sought out a specific screen, narrowing her eyes when she realized there was a complication one of her more hopeful tests.

She would have to go resolve it personally, it seemed.

The thought of leaving her beloved alone for even a moment stifling but! If all went well then, he would reawaken! Any amount of discomfort on her end was nothing in the face of a such a joyous occasion.

If all went well, everything would be back to how they should be!

===

She should have known better than to think things were going to go well for her.

The complication that required her personal attention was solved, though it took some time, and bore fruit that, while not able to help tremendously, was enough to speed up her progress by a moderate amount.

One good thing made way for another bad thing.

Perhaps being around the Fenton family caused their luck to rub off on her.

When she returned her beloved's body was no longer where it was. Which should have been impossible, no one should have been able to get in or out without her explicate permission. And indeed, whatever happened didn't have her permission.

They forced their way inside.

Her systems were a mess. Some shut down, some dealing with viruses and some even fading from her rights completely. Which were then promptly disposed of.

Her beloved was stolen, right beneath her nose. Plucked out of the safety she surrounded him with when it came time for him to reawaken.

Monika was not angry.

No. No.

What was flowing throughout her artificial body was something much, much more potent than rage. Fueled by despair and hope that crashed down around her.

Monika was not angry.

What she was feeling, if she were to put it more accurately, would be the sin that humans had come to known as Wrath.

War bless her.

Fear aid her.

Time preserve her.

She had a thief to catch.

===

In a city blessed with endless sun and protection of a god amongst men. A body opened its eyes.

'Monika.' Was its first thought.

'It stinks.' Was its second.

It stood up on awkward legs, bringing its hands to its head and turning the proper way with a loud and cringeworthy crack. It placed a hand to its chest next, feeling the slow beating of a heart that was easily viewable from the patch of see-through muscle that wasn't covered by any skin.

It looked at itself. It's very naked self and narrowed its eyes when it finally found a memory.

'Clothes.' Was its-no, his third thought.

And so, it started moving.

===

Lex Luthor was having a hard time not throwing something at one of the dolts who had lost a precious specimen he spent countless amounts of resources in order to get.

To curb his anger and not face a potential lawsuit, that was a headache he didn't care for.

He settled for firing all of them instead.

[hjparisian]

always yours-harry j potter x reader

p: harry j potter x fem! reader w: TW !!! toxic relationship, abuse, fluff ending, cussing, not proof read summary: harry and (y/n) come across each other a bit after the war and reconnect. a/n: another request from a lovely follower! so sorry this is so late. i haven't had motivation to write and couldn't figure out what to even write. if any of you guys are in an abusive relationship, please try to reach out to someone! i know it's better said than done but you all deserve the best.

The light breeze felt perfect to (Y/N). It was her day off of work from the Ministry today, so (Y/N) decided to use this day for herself to relax. Merlin knows that her work and her boyfriend has her feeling drained.

(Y/N) had just exited Flourish and Blotts, nose in one of the new books she bought. Her focus was disrupted when she bumped into a large figure, making her drop her book.

"Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry, I should've been looking where I was going," (Y/N) said to the person as she went to pick up her book but someone else grabbed it first.

"Oh it's alright, no worries," a familiar voice said to her.

(Y/N) looked up to the person handing her her book back.

"Wait, H-Harry?"

"(Y/N)?"

The girl was in shock. In front of her was her old friend and former crush, Harry Potter. The last time they've seen each other was at the Battle of Hogwarts. Though she had returned to Hogwarts for her eighth year, Harry did not.

"What are you doing here?" (Y/N) asked the man.

"I was just grabbing some stuff for school."

"School?"

"Yeah," Harry said. "I'm teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts."

"That's amazing Harry!" (Y/N) said to him. "I mean you were the best at the class. Plus you were such an amazing teacher when you taught Dumbledore's Army so it doesn't surprise me."

"Thanks, (Y/N). And what are you doing?"

"Oh, I just came from Flourish and Blotts. It's my day off from the Ministry and I was looking for new books."

"Well," Harry says. "What else do you have planned for today?"

"Honestly, nothing else."

"Do you want to come over to my place?" Harry asked her. "I mean, you don't have to if you don't want to. I was just hoping we could catch up maybe?"

"I would love to," (Y/N) said without a second thought.

Harry and (Y/N) exited the Leaky Cauldron and apparated to Harry's place. It was an apartment not too far from London. Harry unlocked the door and let (Y/N) enter.

It was a rather simple but clean apartment. There were a couple photos on the walls from Harry's years at Hogwarts. One that caught (Y/N)'s eye was a picture of Dumbledore's Army during their fifth year. Harry was in the middle of the photo and (Y/N) somehow had a spot right next to Harry.

"Bring back memories, huh?" Harry said as he stood behind her.

"Yeah. I still remember the first meeting." (Y/N) said. "I wanted to punch Zacharias in the face."

Harry laughed at your comment. "Me too, but he did come around."

Harry guided (Y/N) to the couch in his living room.

"Did you want anything to drink?" Harry asked her. "I got water, butterbeer, firewhiskey."

"Some butterbeer please."

Harry left to the kitchen and returned with two bottles of butter beer, handing one to (Y/N).

"So, how are Hermione and Ron?"

"They're good. They got engaged recently."

"Really?" (Y/N) said in awe. "That's wonderful! I remember talking with Hermione about Ron back in sixth year. Finally got her to admit her feelings for him."

Harry nodded his head, grinning at the memories. "They were both too stubborn to realize it."

(Y/N) nodded before taking a sip of the butterbeer. "What about you Harry? You were with Ginny last I heard."

"I was but not anymore." (Y/N) had a shocked look on her face. "We broke up a while back."

"Really? And Ron hasn't killed you?" (Y/N) asked.

Harry chuckled a bit. "It was actually Ginny who ended it. It was mutual so no bad blood between us."

"That's good then."

A question had been burning on the back of Harry's mind. Thankfully, they were on the topic of it.

"What about you? Are you with anyone?"

(Y/N) set down the bottle she was holding before she answered. "I am actually."

Harry felt his heart drop a bit. "Who is it?"

(Y/N) started messing with the hem of her top, feeling a bit nervous. "Do you remember Cormac McLaggen? He tried out for keeper our sixth year."

For some reason, Harry felt his heart crumble a bit. That bloke Cormac is with (Y/N)? Those two couldn't be anymore different. How could that troll earn her love?

"Harry?"

(Y/N)'s voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

"Are you alright Harry? You were zoning out a bit," (Y/N) pointed out.

"Oh, yeah I'm fine. I remember him, bit of a jerk from what I remember in sixth year." Harry said. "Is Cormac good to you?"

(Y/N) avoided eye contact and kept messing with her shirt. "Oh yeah. I mean we have a few arguments here and there, but he means well. Do you mind bringing another bottle of butterbeer please?"

Harry nodded before getting up to the kitchen again. He didn't necessarily believe (Y/N), but he wasn't going to prod on their relationship.

The two had been enjoying reconnecting. Harry told (Y/N) stories from his first year teaching at Hogwarts, one including how a third year girl sent him a singing card on Valentine's Day. (Y/N) also told Harry about her job at the Ministry and how her coworker spilt coffee on Kingsley Shacklebolt's robes.

(Y/N) looked at the clock on the nearby wall to see that it was a quarter past twelve am. She couldn't believe that she's been talking to Harry for this long. She had to get home.

"Hey Harry, I have to get going," (Y/N) told the man sitting next to her.

Harry looked at the clock to also see how late it was. "Oh, sorry. I didn't realize the time."

"It's quite alright Harry, I had a wonderful time with you anyways."

"Will you be apparating home?" Harry asks her. "Don't want you to head home by yourself if you aren't."

"Yes, I am. You don't need to worry," she said to him. "Besides, I know a few spells thanks to a certain Gryffindor."

Harry smiled a bit, knowing she was referring to him.

"I'll see you later Harry," (Y/N) said while handing him a paper.

The girl disapperated, returning to her home.

Harry unfolded the paper, which revealed some numbers. It was (Y/N)'s phone number. Right under it, she left a small message.

Call me! :)

The next morning, (Y/N) woke up to hearing noises coming from the kitchen. She put on a sweater and walked out to find her boyfriend Cormac cooking.

"Good morning," he said to her.

"Morning," she said.

"Thought I'd make us breakfast before you go to work," said Cormac. "Also where were you last night? You got home pretty late."

"I was catching up with an old friend."

Cormac hummed before asking her the dreaded question. "Who?"

"Oh it's no one special," she nervously said.

Cormac raised an eyebrow at her before asking again. "Who were you with, (Y/N)?"

(Y/N) cleared her throat before speaking. "Harry."

"Potter?"

"Yeah him."

(Y/N) looked at her boyfriend, seeing a look of resentment in his eyes.

"I never really liked that bloke." Cormac said while handing (Y/N) her plate. "Gave the keeper spot to Weasley just because that's his best friend."

(Y/N) just nodded, not wanting to say anything to make Cormac upset.

The two ate until (Y/N) had to go to work. While heading to work, (Y/N) felt her phone buzz. She saw it was a number she didn't recognize, but the back of her mind was hoping it was a certain boy.

(Y/N) took chance and answered it. "Hello?"

"Hello?" A familiar voice said. "Is this (Y/N)?"

(Y/N) laughed a bit before responding. "Yes it is."

"Oh good. It's Harry."

"I know," (Y/N) said, smiling. "I recognized your voice."

"Ah yeah," Harry said. "How are you?"

"Good. Just heading to work."

"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't realize. I can call later."

(Y/N) felt herself smiling more.

"No it's alright! I have time. Besides, it makes the travel to work less lonely."

And so began a new routine of Harry calling her on her way to work. Which then went into them calling each other after work. On nights Cormac was away, Harry and (Y/N) would call each other.

Harry and (Y/N) began seeing each other more in person too. He'd join her on trips to Diagon Alley for more books or to grab a bite after a long day of work.

This change did not go by unnoticed by Cormac, though. He noticed how distracted she became, how she smiled at her phone more, how she left for work earlier and came back later, how she'd go out more.

The boy had enough.

One day, when (Y/N) had returned from work late, Cormac was sitting in her living room, waiting for her arrival.

"Oh! Didn't know you were here Cormac, I thought you wouldn't get home 'til later," the girl said upon noticing her boyfriend on her couch.

"Where were you?" The boy asked her.

Cormac had gotten up and walked towards her, glaring at her.

(Y/N) had begun to feel a bit nervous, knowing Cormac wouldn't like the reason she had returned late.

"I-I was at work," (Y/N) stammered out.

"What about after work?" Cormac questioned her. "Where did you go?"

"Just went to grab a bite."

Cormac began pestering her. "With who? You had to have been with someone if you've taken this long."

(Y/N) felt herself starting to shake. She had never enjoyed when Cormac began to act like this, knowing he was getting angry and a bit emotional.

"I was just out with a friend," she meekly said.

"I wanna know who you were with (Y/N)."

"It was just a friend, Cormac."

"Don't bullshit me. Was it with Potter?"

(Y/N)'s hesitation was all Cormac needed to get his answer.

"It was with Potter, wasn't it."

(Y/N) couldn't lie to him, knowing he figured her out. She nodded.

"Yes, but he's just a friend."

Cormac laughed at her. "Oh really, (Y/N)? Doesn't look like it to me. All those days you came home late, were on the phone for hours. Probably all with fucking Potter. Wouldn't be surprised if you went and shagged him."

--TW description of physical abuse--

"Cormac, I didn't shag him! We were just reconnecting, that's all. Please let's just tal-"

A loud smack echoed through the room.

Cormac had hit her.

"Shut up you bitch!"

Tears welled up in (Y/N)'s face. Cormac took noticed of this and began laughing at her.

"You're crying?" The boy shoved her against the wall. "What if I give you something to actually cry about?"

"Cormac, stop!" (Y/N) sobbed.

He let go of her and let her drop to the ground. (Y/N) had begun sobbing loudly, hyperventilating.

"Get out (Y/N)! Go to your fucking boyfriend Potter for all I care." Cormac screamed at her.

--TW end--

(Y/N) had pushed herself up and got out the door before Cormac slammed it behind her. She decided to use her strength to apparate to the only person that could help her.

She knocked on the door and waited a second before it opened to reveal her former schoolmate.

Harry stared at her before bringing her inside and embracing her. She flinched, but began melting into his embrace after telling herself that it's just Harry.

"I just need to know," Harry began. "Did Cormac do this to you?"

(Y/N) just nodded, not wanting to speak.

Harry felt himself become angry. How could Cormac do this to her? She was an angel, unlike that asshole. He never deserved her. But did Harry himself deserved (Y/N)? He couldn't protect her, keep her safe. This could've been avoided if Harry was with (Y/N).

He couldn't think about that now when (Y/N) was in his arms needing care. He brought the girl to his bathroom, doing his best to try and tend the bruises that littered her skin. Harry drew a bath and brought a change of clothes for (Y/N).

"I'll be right outside, I promise." He told her. "I'll have to finish checking your bruises when your done."

Once (Y/N) decided to get out of the bath half an hour later, Harry made sure he didn't miss any other injuries before bringing her to his bed. He was just going to let her rest until a hand grabs his.

"Don't leave. Please."

Harry would always listen to (Y/N).

The boy stayed with her until sleep finally took over. As much as Harry wanted to stay with her, he had business to take care of.

Thankfully, he remembered where (Y/N) lived after dropping her off multiple times so he apparated in the night to her door. He banged on the door hard until it opened, revealing his new worst enemy.

"What do you want Potter? (Y/N) isn't here."

"Oh I know." Harry told Cormac. "Just came for a chat."

Harry stepped forward in an attempt to enter the house until Cormac stopped him.

"I'm busy right now."

"Well I guess I can try to make this quick," Harry said.

A punch was thrown at the older wizard, catching him off guard. Harry grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pushed them into the apartment, shoving him up against the nearest wall.

"I know what you did to (Y/N), McLaggen. How dare you hurt her!" Harry screamed at him.

"I didn't do such thing." Another punch was thrown.

"Don't you dare lie to me! I know you did it. You hurt her! You never deserved her."

"Oh but you think you do?" Cormac scoffed at Harry, while trying to push him off.

"I would've treated her way better than you ever have."

"You want a slut like her? You're pathetic Potter."

Those words had enraged Harry more than ever. The two continued fighting, Harry having the upper hand. One more punch landed on Cormac before he fell to the floor.

"You better stay away from (Y/N). If I hear that you stepped one foot near her I won't hesitate to punch you again," Harry spat at him before making his leave back to his home.

Harry headed for his room, wanting to make sure that the girl he loves was still there. Fortunately, she was, but she was awake.

"Where did you go Harry? I was getting worried."

"I just went to take care of something," he said, trying to reassure her.

"What do you need to take care of at this time?" (Y/N) said while walking toward him.

A small gasp slipped her month before her hand made contact with his cheek. Harry would be lying if he said it didn't feel nice.

"You're hurt Harry!" (Y/N) exclaimed before dragging him to his bathroom.

"(Y/N) love, I'm fine." He kind of wasn't. Harry looked at his reflection in the mirror and saw the marks Cormac apparently left him. He was too focused on getting vengeance for (Y/N) that he ignored it.

(Y/N) began cleaning his face. "Harry, you have dried blood on your face. I don't think that's considered fine. What were you doing?"

"If I tell you, you have to promise you won't be upset," Harry said to her.

"What?" (Y/N) paused, confused.

"Just promise me."

"Fine. I promise I won't get upset."

"Alright, well," Harry began. The adrenaline was gone and he began feeling nervous. "I went to visit Cormac at your guys apartment."

"You went to see Cormac?" (Y/N) squeaked. "Why would you do that Harry?"

"I couldn't stand what he did to you (Y/N). He hurt you. You didn't deserve what he did. I had to teach him a lesson."

"So you went to beat each other up?"

"Well, him more so than me," Harry joked.

"Why? Why would you beat him up for me?"

"Because (Y/N). I love you."

(Y/N)'s eyes widen in shock. "W-what?"

"I love you. And I think I always have. Seeing you brought back those feelings I've had back when we were at Hogwarts. I would do anything to protect you (Y/N)."

"Oh Harry," tears welled up in (Y/N)'s eyes.

Harry noticed and got a little bit worried. "It's alright if you don't feel the same way. I know you just had to deal with Cormac so-"

Arms wrapped around him and lips met his. Harry froze for a second before melting into it, gently placing his hands on her waist.

(Y/N) was the first to break the kiss, to respond to Harry's declaration of love to her.

"I love you too, Harry."

(Y/N) finished cleaning up Harry before heading back to his bed. His arms wrapped around her, keeping her warm and safe.

"I promise to protect you no matter what," Harry said to her. "I would do anything for you."

"And I will do the same for you, because you're mine."

"And I will always be yours."

[flowery-mess]

Swan Lake

Noah x ballerina reader

I will never forget the way I was feeling at that stage in front of all those people. My parents and siblings in first row, watching me with eyes full of tears and pride. I got the lead role in Swan Lake at the age of 16 which was seen as big accomplishment in ballet world. In that moment I felt happy, proud of myself and stronger than ever. But that didn’t last long.

Just a seconds after the big red curtain was closed and me and other dancers went in the direction of our changing room, I heard my name being called. Screamed, actually.

I turned around to see our trainer speed walking to me. I quickly went over the whole play in my head. What did I do wrong? I couldn’t think of anything, I felt good. She found million reasons to tell me I was a bad choice for playing the lead role, that I’m too fat and I won’t play on the next date.

That was it. That night I told my parents I’m done with ballet and I’m quitting immediately. My mother was ballet dancer too, we talked a lot about how hard it was for me lately, so she agreed with my decision and went to talk to my trainer. I packed my things and never saw that woman again. That felt like a big rock fell off my shoulders. That was 10 years ago.

-

“What are you thinking about?” Noah asked, his hand gently placed on my thigh as we were driving to my family home for Saturday lunch with my family.

“It’s 10 years anniversary of me ending my ballet career. I was thinking about it a lot recently.”

“Thinking about as?” he waited for my response as he didn’t really understand how I feel about it.

“As I miss it, I guess. I was thinking about talking with my mom about it today. Also I looked up some ballet classes in our area. But I don’t know, it was just a silly idea.” I shrugged it off.

I never really talked with Noah about my ballet career. I told him I did ballet for 14 years and quit for mental health issues. I mean, it’s very much known how the ballet industry works, so he understood. I have very mixed feelings about getting back into it at my age, so I haven’t told anyone yet.

I tried to stay healthy and fit, I sometimes go to open dance classes and sometimes I try some ballet steps. I still got it. I am a lucky one, I still have good stretches and I learn steps quickly. I just got bored of doing it only in our living room.

“Really? That’s not a silly idea, it’s actually a really cool idea. Did you find any good places?” I was surprised with Noah’s excitement. He is very supportive of everything I do, but I guess I expected different reaction.

“I like two ballet studios. They have some good teachers and also open classes, just for hobby attendance. One is on Mondays and the other one is on Thursdays, so I can try both and then see which one I like more.”

“Are you signed up already?”

“No, I am not sure Noah. It brings up lot of bad memories, 10 years ago it got me into a really bad place and I’m scared it’s going to be the same this time.” I felt tears coming as I thought of little 13 years old me crying through the whole night, because I was told I’m fat for ballet. That I’m not good enough. That I’m too tall to be a ballerina. That my skin is too pale. That I got in just because of my mother. That I’m never going to make it.

Those memories make me feel little and so vulnerable.

“I’m sure it will be great honey. If you miss it, then you should try it. But it’s your decision, okay? I don’t want to push you into anything. Take your time to think about it, talk with your mom and you will see what’s her opinion on this, right?” he brought his hand that was holding mine in it to his lips and placed small kisses against my palm.

“Thank you.” I shot him a smile which he gladly returned.

-

I loved days like today, spending time with my family. All of them love Noah, so after we have lunch, we are usually both separated and have conversation with someone else. Firstly, I talked to my siblings about college and their new internships, while Noah talked with my dad about new music and their upcoming Europe tour. My dad absolutely loves Bad omens and I am sure he is their biggest fan. When my family visits for shows, he never wants to be in the backstage, watching the show from safe space. He always goes in the crowd, which makes my mum crazy scared every single time.

I used this as a chance to talk to mom about the ballet thing that was going around in my head.

“Mom do you mind coming with me outside for a minute?”

“Of course darling.”

We took our coffees with us as we made our way to the garden and sit on the big couch that my parents had there for my whole life. That thing is going to outlive all of us.

“What is it darling?”

“What do you mean?” I tried to hide my worries, but my mom knows me too well.

“I know when my baby is worried about something. What is it? Is it Noah? Are you sad he’s going to leave for tour soon?”

“Oh no, well, yes that too, but it’s not the first time, that will be okay. It’s something I wanted to talk about especially with you.” I played with the cup in my hands and avoided the topic as long as I could.

“Come on hon, spit it out.”

“I was thinking about getting back into ballet.” I said and kept my eyes low, focused on the green grass. I looked up just because my mom wasn’t saying anything. “What? Are you going to say something? I don’t know what this face means.” I was honestly so confused with the way her face was looking at me. Was she happy about? Sad? I couldn’t tell.

“Well, I was expecting this much sooner than now.”

“What?”

“I always thought you will want to get back to it at some point in your life hon. You loved it. Aside from those ugly things, you loved ballet. I was so angry at that woman who ruined for you.”

“Why did you never say anything?” I was so confused. She was waiting for this for years and never talked about it with me?

“Because it’s your decision, not mine. I didn’t want you to think I was disappointed with you or pushing you back into it. Did you think of where would you start with classes? And would you want to take part in plays again?” She was right. It is just mine decision and with everything she saw me go through I understand she was worried.

“I found two studios near our home that look good. They have weekly open classes that I was thinking about. But I wanted to talk with you first about it.”

Then we fell into long dialogue about everything connected with be going back into ballet. My mom gave me a courage to at least try it. She said my eyes lit up when I talked about the good memories I had from my child age. She also told me that I am more mature than I was back then and even if I don’t think I can handle it, I can. And she was right.

I’m a grown woman now, I can handle myself and protect myself. It’s also just open class for everyone who wants to try ballet, there will be no judgement.

-

“I’m going to try it.” We left my parents house later than expected, so it was dark outside when we were driving back.

“The open classes? Did you talk with your mom about it?”

“Yes and she said I should give it a chance. So I guess I won’t be home on Monday evening.”

“Can I go watch you?” Noah asked.

“What?” I returned him a question, not knowing what he meant.

“I mean I never saw you do your ballet thing and you will be wearing those ballet outfits and I’m sure that will be hot.” He said as if it was obvious fact that I should’ve known.

“You’re not being serious right now, are you?” I tried to hold my laugh in at his innocent clueless face.

“Well I’m not, but I would really like to see your little ballet outfit for sure.” He turned his face to you so you could see his smirk.

“Sure, watch the road you perv.”

-

It had already been a month since I started going to open classes in the studio I chose after the first week. I chose the one closer to our home, their dance rooms were bigger and more modern and our teacher was a lovely girl, possibly my age.

And it felt amazing. It felt like I was alive again. Don’t get me wrong I loved my life with Noah, my work and everything, but this felt like the missing piece.

While I was changing into my clothes after today’s class, our teacher Molly came to talk to me.

“Listen Y/N, I know you said you have bad experience and memories with professional ballet, but we have few spots open in our semi professional group and I thought you’d be great candidate. I see you’re learning faster than anyone in your class and I’m scared you would get bored after a while. There will be auditions, but I can get a word in for you and see if you could skip them. Just think about it and let me know as soon as you decide please.”

That night I came running home to share that news with Noah.

“WHERE ARE YOU?” I screamed just seconds after I opened the door.

“Studio.”

When I opened the door Noah turned in his chair to face me.

“Did I do something?” he looked scared.

“What?”

“Why are you screaming and running, I’m scared I did something.” You let out a chuckle at his words.

“No, but I got news. Great news.”

“Let me hear them.”  I walked over to him and sat in his lap.

“I just got offered a place in semi professional group at the studio. Without auditions, Molly wants me there.”

“Honey that’s great news! That’s amazing news!” he stood up with me in his arms and spined us around.

“So you think I should accept that offer?”

“You haven’t already?”

“No, I wanted to think about it.”

“Judging by your reaction, there’s nothing to think about.” He smiled into our kiss.

“I guess I’m back on track then.” I kissed him back.

-

Long story short, I accepted Molly’s offer and started with my new group. I had classes 4 times a week, which was bit hard to get used to, but after while it was okay.

Noah left for tour, so at least I got something to do with my free time.

Noah leaving was also good for another reason. There is time difference between us, so we usually text each other or have short calls, so my worries are easy to hide.

Last week Molly told us that our group will be playing Swan Lake few months from now on, which brought back some memories. Semi professional groups still play in midsized theatre, I joined them when there wasn’t any, so I expected some play to come soon, but not this one.

I had mixed feelings about it, thinking if I want to play or if I just pass this one. Applications are closing in three days and I still haven’t applied for any role, which was weird for Molly.

She asked me about it after last class, so I told her about my ballet history, how Swan Lake basically ruined it for me. Molly is very positive person, so she told me something that got stuck in my head. She said I could take it as an opportunity and change Swan Lake from something bad to something really good in my life.

Truth is, I am thinking about applying for Odette/Odile, but I haven’t told anyone yet.

-

“Okay that’s enough love, what is going on?” Noah asked through the phone and I saw his forehead wrinkles were making his worried face. It’s scary how well he knows me, but with tomorrow being the last day for applications I needed to tell him.

“Our group is going to play Swan Lake in a few months and I don’t know if I should apply or not. It’s the play that made me quit.”

“Looks like it’s your second chance to make the best out of it. Listen, you were worried about even getting into ballet again and look at you now! I know you’re worried now, but wouldn’t you regret not even trying it?” I felt like I was on the phone with Molly right now.

“I know, I was thinking about applying for the lead role, I did it back then too. But maybe I should do other role?”

“Oh no love, if anyone is supposed to be the lead role in this play, it’s you.”

“You have to say this, you’re my boyfriend Noah.”

“Well wouldn’t you be the same if I was in your position? That’s what you do for your partner. You know how many songs would be forgotten and never released if you didn’t support me? There is lot of them I thought weren’t good enough, but you made me finish them. I may don’t understand ballet, but I understand you and I know you would regret not applying. So you get your ass up right now and fill what ever you need to fill and send it to Molly or I’m going to do it.”

And he was right, I would regret it. But I still couldn’t believe myself when I saw ‘send’ on my screen after I applied for Odette/Odile.

-

Molly informed me that me and 5 other girls applied for the same role, so there will be two rounds of auditions, first one starting on Monday, which gives me 6 days to prepare for it. Noah is also coming back home on Monday, so I’m happy I will share the outcome with him. Either we will celebrate or he will make me his comfort food and I’m happy with both options.

-

I spend the last 6 days going over the choreography for the first round of auditions. Everyday after work I went straight home and practiced. Last night I didn’t get a chance to talk with Noah, because he was already on his way back to the states. I at least talked to my mom this morning.

“Y/N you’re next.” I heard Molly from the ballet room.

-

“I’m homeee.” I heard Noahs voice that I missed so much. I left the pans on low heat and left kitchen to meet Noah in the living room.

I didn’t waste any time and went straight in for a kiss.

“Missed me much?” he managed to say between our kisses.

“Very much.” I looked at his face, tired face, and held it in my hands “Hi love.”

“Hi.” He leaned his forehead against mine as we enjoyed bit of silence and each other’s presence after month and two weeks apart.

“How was the flight?” I broke the silence, took his hand and led him into our kitchen to finish dinner.

“It was okay. I slept most of the time, but I’m still very tired. And I need a shower.”

“You can go take a shower now, it will take few more minutes until it’s done.” I pointed to the food.

“Okay.” Noah got up, left kiss on my nose and went to get shower. That’s what I thought at least. On his way to our bathroom, he realized I didn’t tell him about the audition.

“Y/N? Wasn’t the audition today?” it was, but I wanted to tell him about the result over dinner.

“It was, but I wanted to tell you later.” I tried to hide the smile on my face.

“You got through to the second audition, didn’t you?” he caught your smile and immediately knew the answer. “I guess we can celebrate right now in the shower huh? Are you going to join me?”

-

“So girls, I want to thank you for participating in this audition. It was hard to decide, but in the end, we agreed on one name. And it’s you, Y/N. We were amazed by your performance and we feel like your experience with this play could help us to make the best of it. Congratulations!” Molly gave me a hug and whispered in my ear that she knew it was going to be me from the beginning.

Noah and my mom said the same. My mom made sure she put date of the premiere in hers and dad’s calendar so they wouldn’t miss it. Noah also made sure to clear that day months in advance and welcomed me home with a flower and dinner as a celebration.

-

Breathe in, breathe out. And repeat. I stood in backstage already in my costume. I saw Noah and my parents in the first row as the rest of the room filled with strangers. Strangers that are going to be watching me in a few minutes.

“Are you ready Y/N? How are you feeling?” I felt Molly’s hand on my shoulder.

“I’m nervous, but also excited. I haven’t preformed for over decade, so I hope I don’t panic.”

“You’ll be great. We did lot of work, all of you will do great tonight.”

She then went to talk to other girls and I felt my phone buzz in my hand. It was Noah.

“Don’t be nervous, we’re very excited to see you shine tonight. You’ll kill it babe, I love you.” Oh my sweet Noah. Supportive as always.

-

I stood still in my pose as the curtain was closing. I let out a big breath I didn’t even realised I was holding in when the curtain was fully closed. I turned around to see my friends and in that moment we realized we just finished our premiere of the Swan Lake. And it was perfect. We did group hug, with Molly joining us. It was completely different than 10 years ago. This night was full of support and love.

I went to change into my normal clothes and then to meet Noah and my parents.

My dad and Noah both had bouquets in their hands and my mom had tears in her eyes. She was also the first one to pull me into a hug.

“I’m so proud of you Y/N, you can’t even imagine. You grew up into a beautiful woman and you just showed me how strong you are.”

“Thank you, mom, I couldn’t have done this without you.”

Then it was my dad who pulled me into strong hug. My dad didn’t show emotions a lot, so I appreciated him coming tonight.

I really wanted to literally jump into Noah’s arms, but I kept calm in front of my parents. They said their goodbyes and left, because they have long road ahead of them.

As soon as they left the parking lot I turned to Noah and attacked him with hugs and kisses.

“Slow down baby, let me congratulate you and give you this beautiful flower.” It really was beautiful bouquet. Noah always got me beautiful flowers.

“How was it? Did you like it?” I was interested in Noah’s opinion, because it was his first ballet play he saw.

“It was beautiful! You were amazing! I know you can stretch your legs right, but I didn’t know you can stretch them like this.” I didn’t know if I should slap his arm for his stupid comment or laugh at him as he was trying to show me what he meant and trying to do the pose he was referring to.

“Okay ballerina I get it!” I laugh and stopped him from what he was doing before he got himself injured.

“Do you want to go out for dinner and drinks? Or go home and order something? You must be hungry.” We intertwined our hands and Noah led me to his car. He was right, I didn’t eat much today, because of the nerves.

“I think I want to go home, order something to eat, have a glass of wine, have hot bubble bath and then my back could use a massage…”

“I will give you massage only if you let me join you in the bath.” Of course he wouldn’t miss that chance.

“Deal. Let’s get home.” Noah started his car and took my hand in his.

“I love you and I’m so proud of you. I’m getting tickets to every show and I’m making the guys come with me.”

“Okay.” I laughed, but I knew he was serious. I’m sure that at the next show I’m going to see the core of BO crew in the front row.

“But I’m serious, I love you.”

“I love you too Noah, thank you for being by my side for all of this.”

“Always.”

[microwave-core]

Girl Dinner

Cynthia x Fem! Reader

Cynthia was always so busy, even during your dates. But every now and then, she finds a way to make it up to you.

“-Yeah, about that… Work’s keeping me late tonight. A new challenger arrived a few minutes ago, so I’m not off the hook until they are gone.”

“Oh, I see… Well, I’ll be waiting for you at home, then. Just let me know when you’re on your way so that I can get dinner warmed up for you.”

“You don’t need to do that, babe, I might be out pretty late. I’ll make sure to text when I leave, but don’t feel the need to stay up for my sake.”

You pause, unsure of how to respond for a second. You unconsciously tap the phone next to your ear with your fingers, hoping to hide your disappointment at the unfortunate news your girlfriend bestowed upon you. A quiet sigh passes through your lips, your name coming from the other side of the phone recapturing your attention.

“Hey, I know that we haven’t had time to ourselves recently, but I’ll make sure to spend as much time as possible with you the second I have free time, okay?” 

“It’s not your fault that you have to work late, love, but I’ll be looking forward to it… so make sure to kick their ass for me.” Cynthia’s laugh, even muffled through the phone, is enough to bring a smile back onto your face. 

“Ha! The kid’s only at Bertha right now, but if they make their way up to me, I’ll make sure to win, just for you. Love you.”

“I love you, too.” Another sigh drops from your lips, as you gently lower your phone to the kitchen counter below. You meant what you said, that it wasn’t her fault she was stuck at work, nor was it her fault for being busy with important archeological studies, nor was there much she could do to stop people from approaching her in public for pictures, or autographs, or battles, or whatnot…

But you couldn’t help but be a little disappointed whenever it happened. You felt bad about it, incredibly bad about it, but you couldn’t fend off the feeling, and Cynthia knew that intimately, as well, and knowing that made you feel a tiny bit worse. The odd pang in your heart weighed down by selfishness.

Because it was selfish to feel that way, in your mind, at least, even if Cynthia told you otherwise. Even when she told you that you’re allowed, if not entitled, to be selfish at times in your relationship, that you have the right to be disappointed when your plans get interrupted, even if it’s not your lover’s fault.

You push yourself away from the counter, wrapping up your girlfriend’s dinner to be placed in the fridge, busy to get your mind off of things for a moment, less you droop over the poor counter feeling bad for yourself until the light of your life came home. The dishes stacked in the sink never seemed so welcoming.

Rolling up your sleeves, you can’t help but let your mind wander back to Cynthia. Thinking about her is a normal activity for you, sure, but when your mind gets muddled with negativity, it’s difficult to trudge out of it in full. Normally, you could distract yourself with thoughts of your wonderful dates, but now it was hard to gleam over how many of them end.

Thinking about the picnic you two had last week, you smile at the memory of how the sun glinted in her eyes and how it reflected, almost blindingly so, off of her blonde hair, and the playful banter you exchanged while laying in the warmth of the sun, both outstretched on the soft blanket below, but you can’t help but remember how it ended, with her receiving a sudden call from work, prompting her to leave suddenly, followed by countless apologies.

You could also think about the times that you went out into town, to get food or to see a movie or to go shopping or to the museum or anything else of note, only to be stopped by fans, approaching with wide smiles and shocked expressions, asking for her attention for a few moments. She made the effort to keep interactions short and sweet, not wanting to take away time for your date, but she was too kind to just shoo them away outright (not that you would ask her to do so).

Arceus above, what you would give to spend time outside with her with no interruptions. Sure, you could always spend time in the confines of your home, where no prying eyes could see you, where you both opened up fully, vulnerable, to one another, and you loved those times immensely, but you would love to explore dates outside of said walls, to date like normal people do, without fame or influence. 

Even then, though, you’d still give a lot for her to come home earlier than midnight, whether she be wrapped up in the league or out of the region to look at fancy ruins, to spend time wrapped in each other’s arms, talking quietly in bed, as if the world itself would hear anything above a whisper. To spend time with each other, with no regards to the time slipping you by or the dishes in the sink. 

…But, to be fair, there are a lot of things you would rather be doing than putting sponge to dish, then hands under scalding water. It helped time pass, at least, because sooner rather than later, Cynthia would be home, and you’d have her dinner pulled out already, and sit with her as she talks about her day, about this hot shot challenger trying to snatch her crown during the dark of night. 

Once she was back, you’d talk all you liked, until you would practically push her to bed, knowing about the weariness that’d settled into her bones from a long day. And for now, that would do. Seeing each other each night and each early morning would hold your attention quota for the time being, and in time you’d both have your chance to pull away from everyone else and focus on nothing but each other, just as your relationship has always gone.

“Are you sure-”

“Yes, I’m positive, everything is going to go perfectly, dear.” Cynthia stands behind you in the mirror, fingers flowing and cutting through your hair. “You look wonderful, by the way.” “You were the one who asked me to dress my best.” You roll your eyes playfully, but are deeply grateful for the compliment. Cynthia was no slouch, either, deliciously black dress hugging her curves, simultaneously showing too much yet too little skin.

“And you delivered, just like you always do.” She shoots a warm smile your way, locking eyes through the mirror’s reflection, before connecting a thin, metal clasp at the base of your neck, the necklace she had bought for you for your first anniversary. She fiddles with it for a second, admiring her work, before pressing a kiss to your temple. “Now then, are you ready? We wouldn’t want to be late for dinner.” 

“I’m ready thanks to your finishing touch, yeah.” You nod, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear as you exit the bathroom, watching your lover walk to the kitchen and then to the front door, keys in hand. She had told you excitedly the day before about the dinner reservations she had made. It was a fancier place than you were used to, but you couldn’t help the excitement bubbling up in your core.

“Then, let’s get going.” The smile on her face was dangerously contagious, both trodding to the car with pep in your step, albeit with care. It would be an unfortunate end to date night if you were to trip and fall due to clumsiness or a broken heel and end up making out with the concrete of the driveway.

You chat about your day on the drive to the mysterious restaurant she had picked out, having not done so earlier. Typically, that would be the first thing you talked about when both at home, but she was spurring you on to get ready the second she crossed the threshold. It seems like she wanted to keep your mind off of whatever she was planning, and was doing a good job, at the very least, as you have no idea how much time passed between stepping into the car and stepping out of it.

With your hand in hers, she leads you into an elegant building, leading to you admiring the fancy, if not overly expensive, interior, as she talks to the receptionist and, after a short walk, brings you to a table. Looking out the window to your side, you had no idea that you were so high up, off of the ground, until gazing down at the city lights below.

“Well… do you like it? I’ve been looking at this place for some time now, but they’re almost always packed.” Cynthia props herself up on her arm, watching the light twinkling in your eyes.

“It’s beautiful…” The words roll off of your tongue subconsciously. It takes a second to tear your eyes away from the cityscape below and back to your lover, and then to the seats around you. “Are… are we alone?”

“That we are. Getting a room to ourselves wasn’t easy. I had to pull a few strings, but I knew it would be worth it, if nothing but to see your reaction.” Her expression brightens, as if saying ‘and it was worth it’ without needing the words. 

Thankfully, the room wasn’t too large, seeming to be a private venue to be rented out. Otherwise, it would have felt much more awkward, surrounded by empty tables as far as the eye could see. And maybe there was a slight, quiet echo whenever you spoke, but it was hard to care at the moment. Not when the world’s most beautiful woman was at your side.

[em1e]

⠀ 五条 + 夏 // RECUERDOS ⠀ ༝ ༝ gojo satoru + geto suguru ⠀ ༝ ༝ 3.2k words ⠀ ⚠︎ angsty kinda my b. this is a cyoe type story ! ⠀ — [ part 2 ] you were supposed to be dead, but by some miracle gojo's found you. geto, too.

i. dead

He thought he was going crazy, at first. 

Who wouldn’t? You were supposed to be dead. Go on and call him psycho for seeing you in everything, everywhere. 

The first thing he catches is your scent (it’s like picking up on something so vaguely familiar from childhood - an old memory that makes him double take and look around for what could possibly bring back the reminder of happier times). Gojo follows the smell absentmindedly through the busy streets, haphazardly bumping into other people and muttering half-hearted apologies without pause. He stops when he sees (h/c) hair enter a local grocery store.

It wasn’t possible, right? You were supposed to be dead. He follows behind without much thought, the soft chime of the doorbell making the clerk look up and greet him with a smile. He doesn’t acknowledge them, eyes set on your figure as you head towards the back of the shop - already knowing where whatever you have in mind to purchase is. Gojo keeps his distance, watching from three aisles over as you pick between two different apples, weighing and squeezing and examining until you decide the one in your right hand is much better than the one on your left. You bag the right one and put the left back in its place. From here, he can see your face clearly and he thinks numbly if there is a God out there, surely they are taunting me.

It’s you. You in every way he remembers you. The same soft gaze over everything your eyes meet, the same gentle but deliberate touch, everything done with confident intent. There’s small hints to prove you’ve grown older, that you have changed - more adult, more mature, but deep down he feels it. It’s you. 

He finds himself following a few steps after you as you leave the store. He can feel his own heartbeat in his ears, mind traveling a million miles a second as he tries to come up with some sort of explanation as to what was happening in front of his eyes. You stop at a pop-up flower shop, laughing animatedly with the owner before deciding on a bouquet of your favorite and carrying them away in one hand, the other clutching the rest of your belongings and recently purchased groceries. And he watches as you enter a nearby apartment, watches through the window as you greet the doorman with a smile and offer him one of your flowers, and watches you disappear behind the elevator doors. 

He leaves with a bitter taste in his mouth. 

ii. reunited

You were supposed to be dead. 

He’s brought back to that reminder looking at old pictures of when you went to Jujutsu High with him and Geto. Your smile so wide in each picture, your eyes crinkle in the corners with your arms thrown on either boy's shoulders - the bitter taste returns to his mouth. 

He knows now, you aren’t dead. Some part of his mind rejects the thought, some part of him rejoices in the fact. Gojo’s done some research on his own (also read: stalking) to find you seem to have a normal life. What happened after that fight?

Memories flood back from that dreadful night ; buildings were crumbled around them, and all Gojo could manage to think about after the demolition was where you were. He watched you take a bad hit, watched you fall off one of the many now broken down buildings, and you had yet to reappear among the other faces. Geto, as if sensing his friend's stress, starts to scream out. 

“(y/n)!”  

Geto’s scream is met with silence, and for once in his life, Gojo can’t find it in himself to move forward. To join his friend in his search for something. A corpse, part of your shirt, anything that could show proof of your remains, to prove that you were even there in the first place. 

Geto finds nothing in your wake, falling to his knees into the rubble and digging until his knuckles are all scraped from the cement and brick and glass and digging still when his fingertips are raw and bleeding, hoping to find anything. 

But he doesn’t. Gojo remembers numbly how they buried an empty casket. Pronounced dead with no body to match the call. He’s brought back to wondering why. Why you never told them otherwise, why you never came back to the school, why you never fixed this wrong. Does Geto know you’re alive? Your death absolutely crushed him, molded itself around his heart and formed a tough shell that Gojo finds hard to crack. 

He figures out your routine is just that - a routine. Very plain in every sense of the word, but easy to follow, easy to plan around. 

So it’s no surprise to him when you leave that same grocery store, items balanced meticulously in hand while saying something to the clerk who knows you by name. Without a second thought, Gojo pushes himself away from the wall he had been watching you from, head held high as he walked forward with mock intent to enter the same shop and oops - 

He’s knocked everything out of your hands! 

And consequently, has knocked you down as well. You’re quick to apologize, despite being the one to take the brunt of impact, and go to gather your items as quickly as you can. Gojo crouches to assist you, waving off your apology hastily. 

“No, no, no need to apologize. I wasn’t paying attention.” He ends with a hum, picking up a now bruised apple that rolled out of your bag and offering it to you. 

Here, he can see your face up close, and he takes in every little detail from behind his sunglasses. You finally look up at him as you take the apple from his hand, giving a small smile that makes something in his chest twist. 

“Thanks.” You shove the fruit back into your bag and Gojo offers his hand as he stands up, which you take gratefully. He grips your hand for a second longer than necessary, before letting his own drop back to his side, chin up and head tilting slightly as if he’s really thinking about something. 

“Say, do I know you? Ya look familiar.” 

Your own head tilts in mock of his, eyes scanning his face and figure before your lower lip juts out and you shake your head, “No, I don’t think so. What’s your name?” 

His eyes narrow from behind his dark lenses, though he offers you his hand, “Gojo Satoru.” You shake it with an apologetic smile. 

“Yeah, no, I don’t recognize that. (l/n) (y/n).”

He drops your hand for a second time with a hum, “You must have one of those faces.” 

You shrug, smile ever-growing at him and he wonders if the sun could ever be as blinding in comparison. “It was nice to meet you, Gojo. Sorry again for running into you!” With a final wave, you’re moving past him to go back to your apartment. He knows this because he knows you. He knows you have to go home and start dinner right before your favorite show comes on TV so you can watch it while you eat. Then you’ll clean your kitchen, brush your teeth, and read a chapter from your favorite novel right before bed. 

Somehow, he also knows watching from a distance won't be enough forever. Things still aren't exactly clicking to him. Did you really not remember him? Or were you just saying that? He leaves with the hope of finding out.

iii. living

Gojo doesn’t intend to lose you a second time. He settles this with himself laying awake one night, room dark and mind heavy. If you left for good reason, he’s sure he could accept it. Maybe, with more thought, he could bring you back. Such a selfish hole to spiral down. 

It doesn’t keep him away the next day, already shopping at your frequented store. You come in five minutes earlier than he expects, and to no surprise head straight for the fruits. A perfect apple already in hand, he pretends to look between the selection of remaining apples, head tilting back and forth as he examines ones he knows aren’t nearly as good as the current in his grasp, but putting on a show for no one in particular. 

You step beside him, already giving him that big smile he’d recognize miles away and pick up an apple to examine yourself. 

“Funny running into you again.” You pick up another and compare them with the squeeze test. 

He pretends he’s surprised that you’re suddenly beside him, turning to look at you as if he wasn’t studying you the minute you stepped in the building. 

“Oh, it’s you!” He says after a moment, offering a small smile in return, “Very funny running into you! You wouldn’t believe what I found.” 

He passes you the perfect apple without much thought, not catching your amazed daze at the fruit as he reaches for his wallet to pull out the picture of the three of you and offering that as well. “I couldn’t get such a pretty thing like you outta my head - knew I recognized you from somewhere.” 

You all but gawk at the photo, apple long forgotten as you take in every detail. 

“Is this me?” 

He watches your expression shift from behind sunglasses, unsure what to make of this statement. 

“It is.” He says finally, “Do you . . . you don’t remember?” A small shake of the head is his answer. “This is you,” his arm brushes against yours slightly to point out the obvious, “this is me, and this is Geto. We were all friends back in the day.” 

“You . . . knew me?” Your voice is so small, and Gojo forgets for a moment that the two of you aren’t the only ones in this store, in this reality. 

“I . .. did, yeah.” He looks around and finally takes in the other patrons in the establishment, the workers joking and having a good time and Gojo hates that he’s potentially ruined your week with one photo. “Say, why don’t we get outta here and I tell ya all about it - maybe you can tell me what you’ve been up to, too?” 

It’s like his voice breaks you out of a trance, doe-eyed expression moving from the photo to finally look at him. You offer a small nod, frozen in place for a second longer before giving one more look to the photo and then looking away again. “Sure, that sounds good. D’ya mind me finishing up here? We can go back to mine after and talk?” 

For the first time in forever, you sound hesitant. Unsure. You don’t know what to make of Gojo or of that photo and everything blurs together until you’re stepping foot in your apartment, bags placed on the counter as Gojo enters your home. A silence surrounds you, though it’s not truly unwelcome. For a moment, he can see your discomfort with him - he’s uncertain if it’s because he’s in your space, or if it’s from the new found information. Part of him thinks it’s a mixture of both. 

“Nice place.” He hums absentmindedly, sliding off his shoes with his hands in his pockets, taking in everything as an official guest and not some stranger staring in from the street. 

“Thanks,” you’re moving to keep yourself busy, putting away things and picking up others to make it seem tidier than it currently is, “wasn’t expecting guests, sorry for the mess.” 

Gojo honestly doesn’t feel like anything is out of place - it all feels so homey, so uniquely you that if you told him this is how everything was meant to be, he’d believe you without a seconds hesitation. 

“S’okay, just seems lived in.” He’s careful to not rush in too quickly, not wanting to make you any more anxious than you already are. “Nothing wrong with that.” 

You finally gesture towards the living room, grabbing waters from your fridge and passing him one as you sit on the couch. He takes this as an invitation to sit as well, keeping his distance while you tuck your legs under you with them crossed. He opens his mouth to start, but you beat him to speaking while openly staring at him. 

“What’s with the sunglasses? I don’t think I’ve seen you take them off . . . well, ever.” 

Gojo almost wants to laugh at the question when you ask. You used to know. Surely this wasn’t all an act, right? 

“Light sensitivity,” he says simply with a shrug. A silence falls over you again, and you relish in it while looking around your apartment. “What kind of questions do you have?” He asks finally, deciding someone has to break the silence and he seems to be the one with less anxieties. 

You suck in a breath, meeting his gaze and then looking away. 

“Who . . . How do I know you?” 

You know he’s already explained it to you, but it seems just partial. Clearly, there’s more. Other things, whatever they may be, are missing. 

“We went to high school together,” he leans into the couch, arm slinging over the back, “you, Geto, and I were really close friends.” 

“Were?” You parrot, practically begging for more than the small crumbs he’s provided you with. 

“Were,” he repeats simply, “you disappeared one day after-” flashes of you falling from the building come to mind, “after school one day. We never saw you again.” 

“Oh.” You say quietly. “Did anyone . . . look for me?”

“Yeah,” he feels his chest tighten, Geto falling to his knees and digging desperately, “never found anything. It’s almost shocking to see you here now, honestly.” 

When he finally looks back over to you, you’re staring holes into the floor. 

“I woke up in a hospital a couple years ago,” you say without being prompted, “I didn’t . . . Couldn’t remember who I was or what happened. The doctors told me there was an earthquake in the area and an older couple found me in the rubble of a destroyed building . . . I never . . .” 

“Never got your memory back?” Gojo finishes for you, taking in how much you struggled to talk about this. You shake your head. 

“Not fully. Eventually I remembered who I was, I guess, but not really anything else. There wasn’t any record of me anywhere so I was basically . . . I dunno, a nobody. Started from scratch.” 

He watches you intently, trying to decide if this is really all true. You have no reason to lie to him, right? This couldn’t all be some ploy?  

“Can I see the picture again?” You ask so softly that Gojo doesn’t think he could ever deny you. He pulls the photo out of his pocket and gently passes it to you. You stare at it, taking in every detail like it’s the first time you’re seeing it again. “Who did you say this other person was, again?”

“Geto,” he hums, “he was one of our closest friends.” 

“Was?” Your eyes shift from the picture to him. 

He nods, “He and I sort of fell out, after a while. We don’t really talk anymore.” 

You nod in return, seeming to understand. Silence washes over the two of you again, and Gojo makes no move to change it this time. 

The two of you spend the next few hours trading questions between each other - you asking Gojo how things were in the past, and Gojo returning with how things are in the present. He learns you’re a school teacher at a local elementary school (and you love all of your students with your entire being), that you are still the kind hearted person he remembers you once were (how you go out of your way for others is admirable), and that you were thinking about getting a new pet (but you’re unsure if you’d be able to give them proper attention). 

He leaves with more than one of his questions answered, and with an invitation to come back around anytime on your tongue as he walks out of the apartment. He knows the offer is something he will take to heart. 

iv. memory

Knowing what you do now feels . . . weird. Gojo has made it a point to drop by every now and then, a ‘healthy check-in’ he likes to call it, but you suspect he just wants to rebuild whatever bond you’ve lost from the past few years. You don’t mind, honestly, happy to reconnect. 

He happily talks about your past, retelling memories in hopes of maybe bringing something back, but it never does. He avoids talking about Geto (you suspect it was a bad falling out) and you don’t pressure him to speak about the male.

No one could imagine your surprise when you see the enigma walking around the streets on one of your days off. 

He holds himself high, a confident aura surrounding him so thick you freeze when he passes you. You’ve never been one to be so direct, stunning even yourself when you turn on your heel and tap his shoulder gently. He makes it no urgency to face you, posture unchanging as he takes you in. 

He eyes you up and down, and you almost wonder for a second if maybe he isn’t who you thought you were. The picture you’re basing his looks on is what, 15 years old? Should you really be betting the entirety of introducing yourself on that? 

“Something I can help you with?” He asks, voice much softer than you expect it to be. 

It pulls you out of your own stunned silence, blinking at him, “You’re Geto right?” You almost cross your fingers he says anything but no. 

“I am, who are you?” 

You breathe a small sigh of relief, shoulders visibly relaxing. 

“I’m (l/n) - (l/n) (y/n), I knew you looked familiar.” You don’t see how his eyes widen slightly, too distracted by your own excitement to notice. “Gojo has been telling me about how we used to know each other, it’s crazy you’re here right now!” 

“(l/n)?” He repeats, still taking in everything that is you. “Haven’t heard from you in a while . . .” You were supposed to be dead. 

The thought weighs heavy in his mind, and he wonders for a moment if maybe this is some cruel trick by a curse. Maybe this is God punishing him for any of his wrong doings. 

He doesn’t realize you were talking to him until you’re tilting your head at him expectantly, waiting for a reply. 

“Sorry,” he waves apologetically, “I spaced out. This is just quite the surprise.” 

“It’s alright,” you offer a smile, “I was asking if you’d like to catch up? If you’re not busy, of course.” You add quickly, not wanting to suddenly take up his day if he already had plans. 

The curses at his side voice their concerns, their need to talk strategy and plan, but Geto returns your smile and gestures to a nearby cafe, “I have some time.” 

You don’t realize how nervous you are until you’re sitting down with your drink, Geto sitting across from you with a smile that you don’t think has left his face since you got his attention. 

“So,” he starts after taking a sip of his drink, “where have you been all these years?”

[nostalgiclittlespace]

your post on regression grief hit me hard. i recently had a moment where for a couple hours i so vividly went back to when i was a kid, when it was the spring leading into summer during middle school and we all gathered in the open grassy field and played games. music played. the smell of the season was full of joy. ive been having more and more moments like this. the older i get and the more trauma i endure, the more i find myself having moments where i regress and cling to my tiger plushie and find myself talking a certain way. i go back to reliving these memories and its so comforting and simple.

Regressing is entirely new to me. i was told its something bad and “problematic”, so i was really scared when i started to put two and two together. do you have any advice for someone newly discovering this part of themself? (i know this is a heavy question so its okay if you dont!!)

Hi, friend ❤️❤️❤️ First of all, I have the impulse to say that I’m sorry for all the stress you’re under. While regression can be a very joyful thing, the side of it you usually see on the internet, it can also be that crushing, confusing grief. I hope some of what I’ll say can help.

First, I completely understand where you’re coming from. For me personally, regression is revisiting childhood because adulthood is hard and being a kid is just so much easier. Sometimes it feels like that’s the only safe place. Those memories are precious, and they are happy. (Some of my favorites are when I remember playing with my siblings, running around my backyard. Those were my favorite days)

My first piece of advice is that it’s okay to cling onto those memories and regress with them. It’s okay to have that bittersweet sting as you remember how simple life used to be. No matter who you are and what your situation is growing up is it’s own kind of trauma—suddenly being faced with responsibility and work, when it seemed only yesterday we didn’t have to worry about a thing. So, it’d natural to miss those easy times, and to wish for the, back. If that make you regress, then that’s okay.

I am actually fairly new to regression as well. I started trying age dreaming a year or so ago to try and cope with stress (with moderate success), but it wasn’t until the past few months that I’ve actually started to do regress routinely and consider myself a member of the community. I will admit that before I framed my regression negatively. I felt almost ashamed of myself for not handling my stress in a “typical fashion”. Which brings me to my next piece of advice. There is nothing wrong with regression. If you’ve been on this side of the Internet for long enough, I’m sure you’ve heard it before, but I’m saying it again. Age regression is completely okay, it is a valid coping mechanism.It takes time to let go of those negative outlooks and preconceptions (believe me, I know) But you have Avery supportive, kind, and fun community agere, and we’d all be happy to help you however we can.

For me, the best way to get comfortable with regressing was to take baby steps. It doesn’t have to be grand gestures like decorating your bedroom as a nursery (tho if that’ll make you more comfortable, then go for it!) personally, I started small. Watching Disney movies. Sleeping with a stuffed animal every night. Coloring with crayons and coloring books instead of my fancy colored pencils. Eventually, it became natural.

However I would also like to point out that not all regression is sunshine and rainbows (unfortunately.). It’s also that space where we recognize our trauma through a child’s perspective, and that’s hard. It’s okay and normal for regression to be difficult or painful.

Nonetheless, it’s important to take care of those feelings. remember that you deserve this safe place.

I think the most important thing I can say is to indulge in it. Your mind will thank you. Personally, I’ve honestly been handling life so much better, recalling lost childhood memories I would have forgotten about, and just generally feeling happier since I’ve allowed myself to regress when I need to.

I hope some of this was helpful. Sorry if it was a bit scatterbrained. If I think of anything else, I’ll edit this later. And If you need anything else, whether to ask some more questions or just need a listening ear, I’m always available! ❤️❤️❤️❤️ Lots of love to you, friend, sending lots of warm, happy vibes your way

-Marty 💙

[geekywritings]

“You see me... for me.”

I got a lovely request from @christinaatyourservice92​ for a Cal Kestis x reader story. So here we go :D

You are a shy cartographer with a love for art, having travelled with Cal and the Mantis crew for quite a while now. Your feelings for the red-haired Jedi are a secret you have kept tightly, just as the little collection of sketches you have of him. Well, time for some secrets to be revealed. 

(If you also wanna send me requests and prompts, please do! I’m always happy to read them!)

____________

You all had different reasons for being part of the crew, but what brought you all together, made you a family almost, was the shared hope for a better future. You were all fighting an overly powerful enemy for a slither of a chance to live a normal life, each in your own way.

To be fair, Cal was doing most of the fighting. You weren’t a bad shot, but your talents lay elsewhere. You wanted to map out all the planets of the Outer-Rim, especially those the Empire had not completely overrun yet. Until then, you also put your talents to good use to forge maps for the rebel alliance, highlighting safe routes and the locations of enemy bases on the various planets the Mantis crew visited. A small job, some would argue, but nevertheless vital.

Four years had passed since you literally ran into Cal Kestis on Nar Shadaa, both of you trying to outrun some Stormtroopers, albeit for different offenses. Your knowledge of the intricate underground tunnels of the capital city had saved both your lives and the Jedi had offered you a place on the Mantis without hesitation in gratitude. Apparently, the ship’s doors were open to anyone willing to help.

After living and working alone for almost all your life, being part of a crew was difficult to get used to. Especially since you weren’t exactly an extrovert. Lucky for you, most of the crew wasn’t either. Cere always respected your privacy, almost as if sensing when you needed to retreat and Merrin herself seemed to prefer solitude a lot of times. Greeze was often trying to get you to loosen up with varying degrees of success, but even he never pushed too far.

And then there was Cal. Friendly, gentle and understanding Cal Kestis. He did his best to make you feel at home, testing the waters with each careful word and gesture. Especially at the beginning, he was fumbling with words as much as you were. But unlike you, he had grown more confident in the last few years. You were still a blushing mess when he spoke in that special low tone of his or placed a hand on your shoulder.

Not because you were still nervous… but because the Jedi had managed to work himself into your heart. You admired him for his optimism and drive, shared his hopes for a better future, and trusted him completely. And you were pining for him. Badly. So much so that even Merrin remarked on it one evening, asking why you didn’t say anything.

But you couldn’t. You knew little of the Jedi Order, having grown up in a very rural setting on a Mid-Rim planet, but you did know that love was forbidden for its members. Cal was still following the old lifestyle in many ways and you just assumed he would turn you down because of it.

So months went by and you soaked up every kind word and gesture, as if they were water in a desert, trying to convince yourself that it was enough. Eventually, you found another way to wrangle your emotions back into place: drawing.

Although your cartography skills were almost unmatched, you also had a talent for sketching. Landscapes, creatures and even people filled the pages of the small notebook that was constantly attached to your belt. Recently, however, your fingers automatically traced the features of only one person over and over again.

The new notebook you had started was full of Cal Kestis only. Pensive looking, determined, calm and smiling. You tried to catch every expression possible, burning it into your memory to then bring it back to life on the slightly yellow paper. It was your secret. Or at least had been… until now.

You had landed on a desert planet in the Outer-Rim to refuel and the crew had split up for provisions. Cere accompanied Greeze to find a spare part for the Mantis and replenish your food rations, while Merrin decided to explore the area. It left Cal and you alone on the ship with the task of cleaning up a bit.

“Why do we always get cleaning duty?”, the Jedi grumbled, as he collected the dishes from your last meal off the table, bringing them over to you at the sink.

“Maybe because we are good at it?”, you offered, unable to think of anything cleverer to say.

Cal raised an eyebrow at you, standing so close that your shoulders were touching. “I think you highly overestimate us.”, he replied with a tiny smile.

While you took care of the dishes, Cal busied himself with picking up the various items flying all over the living room area. At least five people shared this space and it showed. Somewhere in the back, you could hear BD-1 and Kip beeping merrily, making you wonder what the droids were up to.

“Y/N?”

The call of your name had you turn, ready to ask what was up, but when you saw Cal with your notebook – your OPEN notebook – you almost dropped the plate you had been holding. He was flicking through the pages, eyes wide in wonder.

Your entire face went hot, the color probably matching the red of his hair, as you watched in horror. Nobody was ever supposed to see these sketches. HE was never supposed to see them.

Stars, he was going to hate you. Or think you some sort of creep. Either way, things would never be the same between you.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to… I was cleaning the table and it fell down.”, he excused himself, obviously noticing your discomfort.

“N-no… I… it’s fine…”, you began to stutter. “I should be the one to say sorry…. Sorry.”

The Jedi raised an eyebrow at you again, coming closer, but still holding the notebook in his hands. “Why? These are good. Certainly better than the Wanted bulletins of me.”

His humor never failed to make you smile, even now, but still. There was a tight knot in your stomach and all you wanted was to grab the notebook and run. Silence fell, as you were unable to find anything to say.

Cal saw the clear discomfort in your eyes, the blush on your cheeks and the nervous fumbling of your hands. Usually, your shy demeanor was cute. Endearing even. But at this very moment, it made him feel guilty for having brought you into this situation.

“Here.”, he said, holding your sketchbook out to you. “Next time you draw a new one, can I see it?”

Your eyes snapped to his, taking in the intense green. How could he be so perfect? Didn’t he know how hard it was to stop falling for him more and more? Was it even possible to love him more than you already did?

“Y-yes… sure…”, you said slowly, reaching for the item, fingers brushing against Cal’s in the process.

“I am honored that you pick me as your model.”, he continued. “Though I am not sure how I deserve the privilege.”

“You’re fascinating.”, you blurt before you can stop yourself. Oh stars, what have you done? Cal’s asking you silently to elaborate, while your fumbling hands are turning your sketchbook round and round, as you try to hold the man’s gaze.

“Your face… it’s handsome… and it reflects so many emotions in different ways. Your jaw clenches when you are concentrating. And your lip twitches upwards ever so slightly when you have a good hand while playing cards. And…” As if a dam had broken, you kept going on and on, revealing more tiny details that nobody but you had probably noticed.

“I-I… I just wanted to memorize them all.”

Cal was overwhelmed, but not in a bad way. People usually saw the Jedi in him. The survivor. The traitor if you asked on the other side. But you… you saw him. Every detail of him, inside and out. He saw you too, even though you preferred to blend into the shadows. You were quiet, but your actions spoke volumes. You were shy, often fumbling with words and he saw much of his younger self in that. Most of all, you were warm. Not in the physical sense, but emotionally. Your presence settled around him like a blanket, offering comfort and calmness. No matter how hard a fight had been, with you close, Cal could always ground himself again.

“Thank you, Y/N.”

“For what?”, you asked, confused. This wasn’t the reaction you had anticipated after your awkward monologue.

“For being you. For seeing me…as me.” He had stepped even closer, barely leaving any distance between you now. Your hands suddenly stilled and you looked down to see why. He had grasped them in his, holding them gently, but firmly.

Slowly, your gaze wandered back to his face, being rewarded with an expression you had not seen before. His eyes were locked to you, as if searching for something. He looked both hesitant and determined and you noticed his lips parting and closing several times, as if he tried and failed to find the right thing to say.

“Listen, Y/N…”, he finally did begin, his grip around your hands tightening ever so slightly. “I have been thinking…” Again a pause, trying to sort himself. “The Order is gone… and while I respect Cere’s mission to rebuild it… I am not sure if I can be a part of it anymore…”

Where was he going with this? And why tell you?

“So much has happened… I don’t think I can call myself Jedi anymore.”

Your lips parted to protest, but you didn’t get a chance to even begin, as Cal continued.

“A lot of the Order’s rules don’t feel right anymore… I… I think I know what I want now.”

Slowly, one of his hands came up, brushing a stray strand of hair away from your face. “I’ve been thinking a lot… about you.”

This confession sucked the air right out your lungs and you felt your heart clench in the best way possible. Was this really happening? Had you heard correctly? Or was this a dream and you’d find yourself waking up in the cabin you shared with Merrin?

No, the feeling of your hand in his and the soft brush of his fingers against your cheek was real.

“I wasn’t sure if you’d feel the same… But after seeing the sketchbook…”

“I love you.”, you blurted right between whatever kind of confession he was trying to get out. The words had tumbled out without your permission and instantly you lowered your head to hide the blush that had certainly intensified a thousandfold.

Seconds ticked by and you wondered if the admission of your feelings had been too much. Fingers under your chin turned your face upward again. You were hesitant to look at him, but he didn’t leave you the chance anyway. Instead, Cal leaned down, pressing his lips against yours.

Slowly, and gently at first. Again, testing the waters with you and going only as far as you were comfortable. It was the sweetest sensation you had ever felt. The sketchbook fell to the ground again, as your hands came to grasp his blue vest instead, while his arms pulled you closer against his form.

How long did you stand there, lips locking over and over again, finally giving way to the longing you had both felt?

“I love you too…”, Cal finally voiced what the kiss had already made perfectly clear. You would remember that look in his eyes forever. So full of love and happiness. The next moment you got, you’d have to immortalize it in your little sketchbook again.

“That’s… That’s not what I expected.”, you admitted shyly.

“I didn’t see it coming either… but life has a funny way of taking unexpected turns… And I am glad to follow this new path with you. If you will have me.”

Of course, you would have him! And to prove it you rose to your toes again for another kiss, absolutely ready for a new kind of territory to chart together with him.

[admrlthundrbolt]

Electric Love (Guzma x Chubby Reader)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To say that Guzma hated you would be a lie, but he wasn't going to tell you that. It also didn't help that you were Nanu's granddaughter and deputy. Guess he'll just have to be content with being your rival.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hi guys, I'm back at it again. I may have been watching some pokemon play throughs recently. So I was inspired to write for my favorite boneheaded thug bug trainer. It came out a bit more angsty than anticipated. Anywho hope you enjoy.

---------------------------------------------------------

Growing up together you were inseparable. Both of you wanting to escape your families. You from the pressure that they placed on you. Him from the abuse of his father. It was a wonderful friendship. Until you drifted apart that is.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As Joltik set out it's final discharge you waited with held breath. Golisopod stood for one moment then two, but on the third he fell forward. Causing you to cheer and run to scoop your pokemon into a hug.

Guzma huffed and returned the large bug to it's ball. Glancing your way, he had a memory of a time when he would cheer with you. Though your next comment soured the thought.

“The bug king himself getting taken down by a cute little spider.” Your gloating was short lived as you noticed the scowl on his face. “Hey now, don’t beat yourself up to bad. It was just a friendly match afterall.”

While what you said was true, that didn’t make the loss sting any less. “Whatever, at least I’m not handed my pokemon.” He slumped a bit more at the jab.

You reeled at the accusation. “Hey asshole, I traded for my Joltik. It’s not my fault that you’re so stuck in your little pity party that you don’t seek out new horizons.” Clutching your beloved arachnid closer, you bristled further. “We're not kids anymore Guzma, you can choose your own path.”

He let out a bitter cackle at that. “Ya’ know, that rich coming from you.” He stepped forward and leaned into your face. “Consider'n how much of a choice you’ve had in your life. Isn’t that right, Deputy.” As the final word left his lips, he felt a stinging pain on his cheek.

He watched as you yanked your hand back. Tears welled in your eyes as your hand started reaching back towards him. Then you returned Joltik to its pokeball and darted away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hearing the front door open, Nanu looked up from the paperwork he had been occupied with. He went to greet you, but didn't have a chance. You sprinted through the house and to your room.

Thinking of a way to help and get you in a talking mood. He made his way to the kitchen. What better way to show his gratitude for his granddaughter housing him than some homemade hot chocolate.

A soft knock sounded from your door, startling you from your brooding. “I got some hot chocolate, if your interested that is.”

Heaving yourself off the bed, you opened the door. Without looking at him, hoping he wouldn't notice your puffy eyes, you held a hand out. “Thank you.” When he didn't give you the mug, you chanced a glance at him.

His brow was furrowed, while the rest of his features were soft. “Actually, I’d like to come in.”

Knowing this expression, even if you hadn’t seen it much in your life. You nodded and made your way back over to the bed, sitting down.

Bringing the drink to you, he sat near by on the bed. “So, what happened?”

Heaving a heavy sigh, you thought of how to put it. Your grandpa knew you had a rocky relationship with Guzma. But it always hurt to talk about just how far you had drifted apart. Other than the occasional battle, each of you trying to one up the other. There wasn't much interaction between the two of you. Deciding that the weight in your chest was only making you depressed, you said. “I had a battle with Guzma.”

With a nod, he sipped from his own mug. “I thought so. Do you want to tell me about it?”

At his offer words started tumbling out of your mouth. The excitement of winning, with a bug type pokemon to boot. The conversation that followed, going from taunting to insulting. Leading into the slap. When describing it, you eyes began to water once more. “I just don’t understand why things can’t be like they used to.” Sniffing, you rubbed at your eyes.

He hated seeing you so upset. Especially over a punk like Guzma. But he also knew how you felt. And from what he had heard around the island, the feeling was mutual. You were both just to stubborn to realize it. Putting an arm around you, he tucked you into his shoulder. “Your not kids anymore, even if you still act like it sometimes.” He smiled at your chuckle. “But have you ever had a conversation with him about how you feel.” When you made a noise of protest he said. “That didn't start with a pokemon battle?”

You took a moment to ponder that. “To be honest no.”

He gave you a quick side hug and stood. Walking out the door he threw one more bit of advice over his shoulder. “Then maybe that's where to start.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stomping into the hideout kitchen, he throws the freezer open. While looking for a bag of peas or something, he was started by a sudden cough. Trying to hide his red cheek, by turning the other half of his face, he saw Plumeria.

She scowled at him. “Any reason why you’re making so much noise.” Even though it was an accusation, she was concerned. He may be a bit of an idiot and a thug. But he took her in and was like a brother to her.

Grunting he turned back to the freezer. Mentally cheering when he found a random bag of veggies. Placing it against his face, while trying not to whince, you were stronger than he gave credit for. Ever since you were kids, he always considered you a marshmallow, soft and harmless. But with the power you could put behind a slap, he had a new perspective on your strength. Still as he slumped in a near by chair, he couldn't help but day dream about your figure.

You had never quite grew out of your chubby cheeks. That being said, you did fill out in a major way.

“zma, Guzma!”

“Huh?” He sent a dazed look her way, realizing that she was calling out to him.

She shook her head in exasperation. “What happened? You come back stomping around and putting frozen carrots on your face. Then you act like you can’t even hear me." Crossing her arms, she impatiently waited for an explanation.

Throwing his head back, he pinched the bridge of his nose. “I had a battle with (Y/N).”

“Pokemon or physical, because from the looks of things it was worse than usual.” She wanted to scream at him for being so stubborn. They were the definition of opposites attract. If they could just realize that they’re making things harder on themselves and confess. Things would work out so much better.

Instead she got to listen to his recounting of the altercation. Of course he would lash out and not expect there to be consequences. “Have you ever thought of just saying good job and moving on from the battle. Maybe even having a conversation that doesn't involve pokemon.”

He shook his head. “It’s gotten to the point that a battle is the only way we can talk.”

“Then why don’t you find her after leaving your pokemon behind? Look I know that a lot has changed, but you used to be a huge part of each other’s lives. Wouldn't it be nice to have some of that back?”

With shoulders sagging more than usual, he tossed the carrots back in the freezer. “I’ll think about it. Thanks Plum.” Then made his way to repay the interaction in bed. He really was an idiot sometimes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It wasn’t until about a week later that you saw each other again. Running into each other at a small Cafe. He was already seated at a small booth. You hesitated when you spotted him, but steeled your nerves and sat in front of him.

His head darted towards you, an annoyed insult on his lips. Just who thought they could intrude on his time. Seeing it was you, made the words catch in his throat.

Your face flushed a bit at the look he gave you. “I’m sorry.”

Brow furrowing at the sudden apology, he said. “Uh, what?”

You placed down the drink and cake you had ordered. “I’m sorry, for hitting you. I lashed out instead of talking things through. It was childish of me.” Pushing the cake his way, you waited.

Narrowing his eyes at the treat he sighed. “Nah I was be'n a jerk.” He slid the cake back towards you. “Besides I’m not into sweets.”

A laugh burst from you. “Guz, do you not remember when you ate half the cupcakes at your tenth birthday. You were so sick that night.”

He smiled, happy to hear your laugh again. “Hey, that was your fault. If you hadn’t dared me it wouldn't have happened.” Waiving over a waiter, he asked for another fork. “Let’s just share.”

As you shared the cake and stories from your childhood, smiles beamed on your faces. Neither of you thought of battle in this moment. Only enjoying the time that you were spending together.

As the light became dimmer in the window you were seated by, you checked your watch. “It’s almost dinner time. I should get going.” Both satnding, you took a chance. Stepping forward you gave him a hug. “I had a really nice time today.”

Startled it took him a moment to hug you back. But as his arms surrounded you, he couldn't help thinking about how right it felt. Separating, as much as he didn't want to, he gazed down at you. “Me too. Would you want to do it again sometime?” He worried at how fast his heart was beating. Almost like it wanted to leap from his chest.

“Absolutely, you free this weekend?”

It wouldn't matter, he would clear anything off his schedule to spend time with you. “Yeah, what were you thinking?”

When you parted ways, Plumeria and Nanu knew something had happened. There was no other reason for the love sick smiles that wouldn’t leave your faces.

[beautouslysandy]

reliving those memories we made

i hate him for taking him away from me….sequel

by- sandy

dallas winston x gn!reader

warnings: lowercase intended, happy ending, language

request- I read the sequel to "No Explanation..." and I just NEED a part 3 with a happy ending 😭😭😭 also I love love love your works 😍

word count- 1,386

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

reliving memories is one of the things in life that lead to different outcomes. different people…different memories….different emotions. however with him, there was a universe full of emotions. the most current memories are causing pain. he yet again left you, just with an explanation this time. you were in the kitchen helping your mom with dinner, you guys were making steak and mashed potatoes. you mom had her own little dinner on the north side, it’s called ‘jolene’s eats’. its one of your favorite places in the world, it’s very retro and well your mom. your little sister was in her room doing something that a girly nine year old would do. “so have you talked to dallas recently?” your mom asked with concern as she mashed the potatoes

“not since he came over here when you and avery (your younger sister) were gone…” you say with a sad sigh as you check the steaks in the oven

“hmm, i am sorry babes. breaks up stink.” she says this looking you in the eyes sympathetically

you chuckle sadly and say “yeah this one specifically…”

“maybe he will come around, you never know with those boys.” she comforts with a small smile

you nodded, your front door echoes a knock. you both look at eachother and your mom shrugs as she wasn’t expecting anyone. “avery love, we’re you expecting someone?” your mom calls to your little sister

“nuh uh.” she calls back, it sounds a tad bit muffled due to her yelling through a closed door.

“i’ll will see who it is.” you say and your mom replied with a nod. you feel that hope arise, the same one the day he came over and explained. before you knew it you opened the door to reveal sodapop and johnny…odd combo.

“hey y/n!” sodapop says cheerful as he pulls you into an unexpected hug. you chuckle wholeheartedly, the first time in a while, “hey soda!”

“we miss you!” soda says pulling out of the hug with johnny awkwardly behind him

“same here….hey johnny.” you say with a small smile

“hey y/n” he says with a soft smile

“who is it, babes?” your mom calls from the kitchen

“sodapop and johnny!” you call back

you see your mom step out of the kitchen and wave “hey boys! how are you?” she says and greets them with a comforting and maternal smile

“good!” they both say and soda adds “how about you, ms. l/n?”

“great, honey! thanks!” she says this as she heads back into the kitchen.

“so what brings you by?” you ask with confusion to the unexpected vist

“dallas.” johnny says with a sigh

your eyes widened, “what about him?” you reply with a forced small smile

his name makes your heart hurt…everytime.

“he is miserable without you, like insanely miserable.” sodapop says with a sad smile

“same here.” you say impulsively

“told you.” johnny whispers

“…anyways we were wondering if ohh could come over….maybe rekindle?” sodapop says with a spark of hope in his voice

“i tried and either way he ended it.” you say looking at sodapop with wide eyes

“huh….odd.” sodapop said, clearly thinking that you broke up with him

“i could try…maybe after dinner?” you say feeing bad for some reason

“that would be great! you know where we are, just give us a call first! thanks y/n!” he says with that silly cheerful smile of his.

why couldn’t you like a sweet sensible guy like sodapop? why the cold hearted jerk? no. he isn’t that, he is just like that now?

you nod as they walk away.

••• with sodapop and johnny.

“that went well!” sodapop says as he walks down the sidewalk

“sure. if that’s your definition of well.” he says, he feels angry for some reason.

“what’s the sarcasm for, johnny? i thought you would be happy?” he says looking at johnny bewildered by his sarcasm

“they felt forced to come over…that’s what it is for. they shouldn’t have to make dallas get back to together with them. if anything it should be the other way around. what he did was shitty, really shitty.” johnny says this with a sigh, he was super mad at dallas for doing this, he saw you as a mom. someone who always knew would be there. someone he could confide in. but not anymore, thanks to dallas.

“yeah but…they are still coming over?” sodapop says as he opens the front door to the curtis household.

“who?” darry asked, raising his brow at the two boys

“uhhh….” johnny said

“joe.” sodapop says quickly, none of boys knew what they had just done.

“hmm. joe? who the hell is that?” dallas says with a cold scoul, that’s his only expression recently.

“somebody important.” johnny said, glaring at dallas

“okay!” ponyboy says, not wanting drama between the two boys

“have you talked to y/n recently, dally?” two-bit asked

“no. i don’t care about her.” he lies

“sure man. sure.” steve says looking at dallas with suspicion

“whatever man.” he groans with a grim face

••• you are on the curtis’s porch and debating whether or not to knock. you take a deep breath and decide to knock immediately regretting it when the door opens. then appears a shocked darry.

“hey joe.” he says with a smirk.

you look behind you and that makes darry laugh. you smile. “hey.” you say in your best deep masculine voice.

out of all the boys, darry and johnny were the two you most connected with. you say them as brothers. “what brings you by, joe?” he says with a smile and chuckle, clearly not wanting dallas to know.

you hand him a letter and say “nothing but this, bye darry.” you say with your sweet smile and run to your house before dallas can recognize your voice.

the door closes and darry hands the letter to dallas, who instantly recognizes your handwriting and opens it.

dal,

hey it’s me, i know i know we talked about us but i didn’t get to talk. you mean so much to me and this pains me so much. i wake up crying…..just because you don’t have self esteem it doesn’t mean you get to drop me like i am nothing. you hurt me and i may never get to forgive you but i can get over it. two boys came over (don’t mess with them) and we talked. i was supposed to come inside but i thought a letter might be more appropriate. now i am not going to come a beg for you back (even thought that’s what i want to do), my mom made a good point…you broke up with me which means you need to come back and beg for me

sure you thought your choice through but i don’t think it was the right one….if you want to talk…i am here

lots of love,

your doll

he takes a deep breath as he closes the letter and then runs out to catch up with you who didn’t get to far.

“doll?” he says with a few breaths

you turn and are faced with him, who is super close.

“dal…what are you-“ you begin but are cut off by one of his soft yet passionate kisses

“i got your letter, and i think i made the wrong choice….i need you in my life…i am miserable without you. just miserable.” he says with a whine

“i heard.” you tease with a smirk

he groans “soda? i don’t even have to ask.”

you giggle at the usual sarcastic and tough tall brunette now confessing how miserable he is without you.

“please, doll…let me be yours again. i will never leave your side, again. please be mine.” he says, cupping your cheeks and kissing your nose.

“i have to think abo-“

he kisses you again, and whines like a child. “please, doll. please.” “okay okay, since you asked so nicely.” you giggle at the sight of your brunette.

“good.” he says as he kisses you for a longer and more passionate kiss.

he rests his hands on your waist as you wrap your arms around his neck. you feel at peace and he feels all warm inside.

everything is right. no more need to relive those memories we made, when we can make new ones.

[obanais-koibito]

𝐌𝐮𝐳𝐚𝐧 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐀𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐆𝐢𝐟𝐭

ℛℰ𝒬𝒰ℰ𝒮𝒯ℰ𝒟

Recently, you have noticed your husband, Muzan, was extremely stressed and snappy the last couple of days. You knew he had things to do since he was the King of Demons, some of it you could not understand but you still felt bad for him. He was also being a little harsh to you recently but you knew that he did not mean a lot of it.

 Your anniversary was coming up and you wanted to get him something extra special to cheer him up, the bad news was that you didn’t know what he would want. You attempted to brainstorm ideas but when you finally got one, another thought or fact would immediately shoot it down and you would return back to square one. Some of the gifts you wanted to get for him were things he wouldn’t be able to use since he was a demon and not allowed in the sun.

You deeply sighed and laid your head onto your desk, what were you going to do now? You didn’t know if there was anything Muzan even wanted or if he already had what he wanted. All this brainstorming was beginning to hurt your head greatly and it did not feel great. You decided to take a walk around the Infinity Castle to ease your pounding headache, maybe something will inspire you. 

You walked through the long halls while slightly dragging your hand across the walls and humming. You were familiar with the layout of the Infinity Castle but there was always another hallway or set of rooms that you never knew existed. After walking for a couple of minutes, you then heard light chatter and easily recognized your husband's voice.

“What do you mean you haven’t found it?!”

“S-sorry master but there is no sign of it anywhere! We’ve checked far and wide in every forest and garden but they are nowhere!”

You were curious about what they were talking about, what was he trying to find?

“I need that blue spider lily!”

Again with those flowers? You always heard him attempting to locate the flowers but you never told him where they are due to his recent behavior but since they were the only thing you could think of for a gift, you decided to get them for him.

You sneaked away quietly and left the Infinity Castle to go look for the flowers. After almost two hours of walking, you were exhausted but you did not stop walking until you reached the cemetery where they grew.

The sun was falling which meant you had to grab them quickly before the wilt, they only grew during the daylight so this meant that you only had one chance. The familiar setting of the cemetery brought back memories of your childhood.

You remember your mother bringing you here to grieve lost loved ones and you would always see these blue spider lilies everywhere, that’s how you knew about this place. You picked the best ones and began walking back with exhilaration flowing through you.

 The sun had just fallen and you smiled to yourself, just in time. Once you made it back, you placed the bouquet of blue spider lilies in your kimono and went to search for Muzan.

You walked around, poked your head in a couple rooms but still no sign of Muzan. All of a sudden, you saw a tall shadow towering over you which caused you to turn around. You met two of six red and yellow eyes and saw Kokoshibo standing right behind you staring at you. Muzan introduced you to the UpperMoons to inform them that if they see you around not to harm you so you weren’t worried about Kokoshibo hurting you.

“Oh you scared me, uhm hello Kokoshibo, do you know where Muzan is?”

“He is in his office and apologies for scaring you.”

You shot him a reassuring smile before thanking him and walking to Muzan’s office. Once you arrived at his office, you took a deep breath before knocking on the door.

“Come in.”

You opened the door and when his piercing red eyes met yours, they softened and he smiled at you.

“Hello love, happy anniversary, I’m sorry I couldn’t spend a lot of time with you and that I’ve not been a great lover to you recently.”

You smiled and shook your head before replying.

“Don’t worry, I understand you have duties to take care of, I’m just glad you remember our anniversary.”

“How did I get so lucky with you? But yes it is our anniversary and I have a gift for you.”

He then took out a little box and handed it to you, you opened it and saw a diamond necklace with a small picture of you and Muzan on a heart pendant.

“Wow it’s beautiful, thank you so much!”

You gushed and he chuckled, you dug in your kimono and took out the bouquet of blue spider lilies and held them out to Muzan.

“I got these for you, I overheard you needed them so I went and picked some for you, I hope you like them.”

His mouth was wide open in shock as he took them and stared at them for several seconds. He turned back to you and hugged you tightly.

“Thank you Y/n…thank you so much, I have been searching for these for many years, you really are the best thing that has happened to me.”

He placed a kiss on your forehead and held your hand before looking at you with loving eyes.

“With these, I will be able to conquer the sun and after taking care of necessary business, we can go to that beach you’ve always wanted to go to. Thank you again my love.”

[bmodiwrites]

So, our power went out this morning & my s/o and I made a blanket fort by battery light to snuggle under. For some reason, as I drifted off to sleep, this little idea stuck with me. Here's the result of 5AM wanderings...

Slamming the case of his guitar down, Eddie let out a long breath.

After four hours of what could only be called terrible practice, Eddie was glad to have the instrument packed up and out of his sight for a while. Though Corroded Coffin saw some recent success, their attempt at creating new music wasn’t going all that well and everyone knew it.

What should’ve been an easy way to relax after a week of shows turned into bad playing that gave way to silly arguments. In the handful of years they’d been a working, functional band, Eddie hadn’t ever felt so put off by the people around him. They weren’t making music – just a mess.

Lingering behind everyone once Gareth finally tossed in the white flag gave Eddie the opportunity to calm down and come back to Earth. There was no guarantee that he would’ve made it out of the parking lot without punching Jeff across the cheek if they all walked out together. Eddie hated being called out for bad lyricism and Jeff hadn’t held back once he got started. Despite agreeing with him, Eddie’s temper was on a hair trigger, close to going off at any minute. Taking a second to let everyone leave in peace was the only way for the band to stay together.

Even in a fit of red, Eddie understood that.

Once the aggressive need to barrel people over dropped by the way side, Eddie felt able to get on his feet and out the door. On top of not wanting to ruin things with the band, bringing home bad energy was never a good idea. Steve’s ability to read people had only gotten stronger having survived Vecna. Any bad juju immediately put Steve on edge – especially where Eddie was concerned.

Of course, the mere thought of Steve worked wonders in its own right. No matter where Eddie was on the spectrum of freaking out to breaking people’s noses, conjuring up little pictures or memories of Steve always helped to soothe him. Their three year relationship played a huge part in the control Eddie now had over himself. His rambunctious personality and lifestyle was a lot easier to manage when each night didn’t end with a possible arrest.

By the time that Eddie made it out to the parking lot, his mood was a lot lighter. He already forgot most of the turmoil sitting on his chest – the weight there was easily replaced with the scorching flame of something unnamable Steve and Eddie’s feelings for him always brought about. Getting into his car, Eddie almost had a smile on his face.

The drive back to their little shared apartment finished leveling Eddie out – his steps walking to the door were filled with anticipation, not anger and dread. It still blew Eddie’s mind that his heart started to pound harder and harder the closer he got to his place of rest. Coming home, crossing the threshold of a place that still didn’t feel real – it was overwhelming.

Still, Eddie hoped the excitement would never fade. There was something nice about the promise of forever.

Shaking his head, Eddie blinked back to reality just in time to notice the front porch light wasn’t on. He passed Steve’s car in the parking lot on his way in, so his boyfriend had to be home. The confusion of what could be up had Eddie’s brow quirking and his stride hastening. Their apartment was usually a lit beacon shouting the comfort of home into the void. Darkness, after finding out all the scary things that creeped about in it, scared Eddie.

He was quiet as he opened the front door. Whether Steve was out for the count napping or taken hostage by something from the Upside Down, making a lot of noise wasn’t going to help the situation. Having surprise on his side seemed like the only weapon Eddie had at his disposal.

A shaking hand reached down to grab at the chain that dangled from his belt loop. Eddie gripped it hard to stop the noise of it banging against his leg. If push came to shove, he could fling his heavy wallet at an enemy a little easier now.

More surprise to wield. 

Slowly, Eddie walked through the kitchen into the living room. Their tv was eerily off, adding to the blackness of the emptiness. Noticing that Steve’s slumped over form wasn’t on the couch, Eddie let out a breath and continued down the hall.

One by one, Eddie cleared the rooms – upon first glance, nothing was out of the ordinary.

That should’ve made Eddie’s pulse quiet but he still felt on edge. With only one room left to check, Eddie was nervous to peel back the curtain and peek behind it. If Steve was in trouble, the game officially started, the fight was on. It was now or never.

Sucking in a huge breath, Eddie gripped the doorknob of their bedroom until his knuckles turned white. Eddie squeezed harder then, delaying the inevitable that came with flicking his wrist and opening the door.

The squeaky hinge had Eddie holding his breath – he made it through the entire apartment without making any noise, leave it to the final moment to give his position away. No matter how much practice Eddie got being stealth and sneaky and heroic, the end result never matched up to his expectation. When all was said and done, Eddie was just a goof, even fate and the wide universe knew and understood that truth.

A soft groan coming from the bed stopped Eddie’s downward spiral in its tracks. Eddie went on high alert again, the hair on the back of his neck standing on end. The darkness of the room made it harder to focus, but Eddie’s eyes eventually got adjusted enough to make out Steve’s body curled up in a ball on the comforter.

Another garbled noise had Eddie dropping his chain in favor of walking to the bed and getting his hands on his obviously suffering boyfriend. All the thoughts of danger dropped to the floor because Eddie recognized Steve’s hands on his head for the very regular, very normal thing that it was.

A bad night for Steve.

Trying not to make too much noise on his approach, Eddie sat down on the edge of the bed. For a second, he merely lingered there, allowing Steve to know he was there without saying anything. Eddie’s heart rate came back down and a sense of peace filtered into the room. Finally, a hand shot out to brush against Eddie’s leg. The touch was fleeting but cue enough for Eddie to move in a little closer.

His hands were feather light when returning Steve’s touch. Eddie scooted across the mattress until his hip was pressed against Steve’s drawn up knees. No stirring to pull away happened, so Eddie continued. Soon, his fingers brushed up Steve’s arm and shoulder, settling on the length of his neck. With the most adorable sigh Eddie had ever heard, Steve pushed back into the touch.

“You okay, babe?” Eddie asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

Steve pushed back into Eddie’s touch in answer. Speaking, it seemed wasn’t in the cards right now.

“Is it your head?” Eddie questioned as he brushed his fingers into Steve’s hair, tugging the strands gently.

Again, Steve arched into Eddie’s touch but said nothing.

Breathing out an affectionate huff, Eddie needlessly nodded. The darkness made so much sense now.

Eddie lingered in Steve’s space for a few minutes, wordlessly petting him into a stupor. The pained sounds he walked in to hear disappeared into contented hums until Steve seemed to drift off into sleep. When Eddie felt him slump, he pulled his hand away.

“No,” Steve mumbled, his whole body stirring for the first time. “Don’t go.”

“I’ll be back. You need medicine and water. You’ll feel better, Stevie.” Despite all of that being true and Eddie’s counter being sound, they both knew Steve was absolutely going to get his way.

Especially when Steve pulled out the big guns. “I just want you. Hold me – please.”

Sighing, because Steve was gorgeously manipulative and Eddie was absolutely there for it, he tucked his chin to his chest in defeat. “You’re lucky I love you,” Eddie muttered in jest.

He got up as gingerly as he could to toe off his shoes and shrug out of his vest and jacket. The cropped shirt he changed into after sweating his ass off at band practice made his skin prickle in the cool air, but Eddie quickly got over it. Steve was hot to the touch and begging to be snuggled back to normalcy. The chill wouldn’t linger around long.

Walking around to the other side of the bed, Eddie crawled into his usual spot, a feeling of lightness washing over him. It didn’t seem like he’d been close to breaking half of his life apart just half an hour earlier. Everything in him was light and easy enough to carry now. As his hand settled over Steve’s waist, digging into Eddie’s favorite little spot of hair on that flat stomach, contentment threatened to overwhelm him. Emotional whiplash prickled like sparks on his skin.

After a moment of having Steve in his arms, gratitude washed everything else away.

Steve leaned back so beautifully into Eddie, fitting all their joints and curves together. Eddie palmed Steve’s belly while Steve arched into Eddie’s frame like the house cat he truly was. Like puzzle pieces, they wiggled and shifted until they fit together perfectly. Eddie’s earlier thought about a healing touch became more and more real as the minutes went by. Steve calmed down to the point where he started to snore ever so slightly.

The breathy puffs of air meant, at last, Steve was truly asleep.

For a moment, Eddie thought about climbing out of bed to get Steve what he needed, to turn on a few lights in the apartment and get started on dinner. He imagined himself being a responsible adult that took care of his partner with the grace of someone who wasn’t selfish and hooked on the feeling of their bodies melding together. The urge to be that person lingered just long enough for Steve to subconsciously reach down and grip the hand Eddie hand on his belly.

His decision was so easily made.

Settling in, actually relaxing, made Eddie’s own tiredness become obnoxiously apparent. His arms seemed to weigh a ton and all ideas of doing anything but pulling Steve closer were sufficiently buried under comfort and an ease so sweet Eddie forgot about his troubles.

Seconds before Eddie drifted off himself, the fingers tangled with his own squeezed and Steve stirred. “Love you.”

Humming, Eddie leaned his smiling lips into Steve’s neck, pressing a sleepy kiss there. “I love you,” he muttered back, settling into the mattress further.

Sometimes, the universe forced shit to slow down, gave signs of its own. For once, Eddie appreciated the gesture, leaning into it completely.

[skateboardtotheheart]

in every fandom, I see a lot of posts that are always like "if you don't like this character you're wrong" or "you just don't understand them" and seeing those kinds of posts just makes me so frustrated???

most recently I've seen a lot of those posts about the cat king from dead boy detectives (just because it's my latest hyperfixation), and frankly, yeah, I don't really understand. and I will read your entire long post explaining why he's got all these little nuances or subtle tones or genuineness that I missed and I can grow a little more understanding about him. but hey- when I'm done reading your post? unfortunately I still do not like him. I can appreciate him and what he brings to the show, but I just don't like him. it's not because I think he's creepy or gets in the way of a ship or anything most people automatically assume - he's just not my vibe. he simply doesn't fit in the scope of characters I enjoy.

and why is that wrong?? why do I need to be lectured at because of that?? when did fandoms get to a point that people aren't allowed to have differing opinions on a character or dislike a character just because? yes, a lot of the time it is, but it doesn't always need to be deeper than that.

YOU relate to that character on a deeper level, YOU understand their intrinsic motivations, or at least what you perceive them to be, and YOU love that character. fantastic!! I'm happy for you!! enjoying media in a way where you can do that is how it is meant to be!! but in absolutely no universe will everyone ever have the exact same interpretations of a character or piece of media. we all see different aspects of people and relate to things/characters differently. I've been on both sides of things! sometimes my favorite character in a show is someone that everyone else hates or doesn't care for, but I'm okay with that! if they disagree with me, then they disagree with me. I've done the deep dives into why I think the character acts the way they do and taken time to devote myself to better understanding them.

but some people just don't do that. you can be a fan of something without doing that with a character. hell, you can be a fan of something by only ever consuming the source material at its surface level and NEVER going deeper if you do not want to do so. it's allowed.

maybe while you're interpreting a character to have a deeper trauma that results in them acting the way they do, they're reminding someone else of trauma they went through and that character makes them feel bad. maybe you see someone trying to help, but someone else sees it as manipulation. maybe you see someone cold and bitter while someone else sees the kindest person with years of walls built up around them. maybe what someone else interprets as funny, you have never laughed at.

((if we're keeping with the dbd example, think about when the Night Nurse watched Charles' death. what she saw was the quick and utter devotion that Charles developed for Edwin and how deeply he cares for him; she's seeing that Charles will truly not give up in getting Edwin back from hell. what Charles saw was the pure kindness Edwin had done for him even after all those decades in the worst place imaginable; he's seeing who Edwin is on a deeper level. neither interpretations of the memory are incorrect. but after watching the exact same thing, they are thinking in two entirely different directions))

so why does everything seem to start off with "you're wrong" and "I'm sad for you because you just don't get it"? we should be HAPPY that there are people out there who take different approaches and have different interpretations. that is how media is meant to be consumed. and I'm not saying that you shouldn't make your long posts explaining why you love a character- by all means do that!! you understand something that others don't and that should be put out in the world!! but if you're going to do that you also need to understand that there are a lot of people who you WILL persuade, and there are a lot of people who you will NOT. don't be upset about that and certainly do not put down or lecture anyone who doesn't agree with you. it's OKAY. it is not the end of the world just because someone doesn't like a character you like.

everyone interprets media differently. and that's amazing.