#i reallyyyy need her to still be alive though :(

[sophieskarsgard]

guys.. what if.. sazz is still alive?

[donutz]

Anxiety Love Languages Headcanons :PP

Heh.. Guys I'm still alive😈😈

You are the love emotion!!

— You can be slightly flirty at times, but it isn't that bad

Warnings: Mentions of reader and Anxiety being humans, and reader being biologically a woman, but reader is mainly just gender neutral; slight 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 mentions, but no nsfw;

♥ Physical Affection

This is her main love language

The order of the love languages are the ones she shows the most to least

When she’s worried she grabs your hand, arm, wrist, etc.

She really appreciates it when you assure her that the affection she shows isn’t too much(If you like physical affection)

Most of the time she feels panicked she just really needs a hug

Feeling your warmth calms her down, a lot

There was this time you were messing with her hair, and separated it into two pigtails

It made the both of you laugh because she looked like a rabbit

You’re hugs and cuddles are definitely better than her massage chair

Speaking of her chair, you guys read books, cuddle, and listen to one another while sitting on it

At times she doesn’t need her massage chair, she needs you.

When you guys are first getting into being together, she would be afraid to ask for physical affection, worried it might make you uncomfortable

Riley being happy just makes you two look at each other and hold hands, proud of your girl

She can be scared to kiss you, because of her mouth..

She doesn’t want to accidentally swallow you whole or something.

That’s what she thinks, but you always initiate it first, and she copies it all the time so she tries not to worry as much

I’ll try not to make this seem suggestive, but she likes it when you sit on her lap, a lot

Especially if you’re bigger than her

She gets really blushy to sit on your lap though, and asks a few times if you’re sure that you’re okay with this

Communication is key, it’s something that she says a lot

When you’re gone, she might need some type of doll, blanket, anything to remind her of you

She tries to not bring it to the panel because she thinks it’s childish, but at dream duty she usually brings it out

Because she never really falls asleep, especially at dream duty

Surprise affection can make her turn pretty red

A surprise hug makes her squeak

A surprise kiss makes her go silent

It just might be obvious that she would be the little spoon

It’s not because she feels smaller or anything, it’s just because she gets to feel you around her

You give her a good smooch on the head(Or eyelids) and she’s like mentally purring

If that makes sense

♥ Acts of Service

It was hard choosing if this should be quality time or acts of service, but i feel like she does a lot of things for you

Like holding the door open, at times she forgets to do that and reallyyyy wants to apologize, but thinks..

‘What if they didn’t really care if I opened the door or not and found it annoying that I even apologized!!’

She hates to think those things about you, because she knows you wouldn’t, but she can’t help BUT think those things

Uhmmm, this is just my thought but she wouldn’t mind being a personal maid for you

She just wouldn’t say it to you because you totally will think she’s weird

She tends to say “After you”, but tries to switch it up because she wants to be original

She would hold a platter full of your favorite food when you’re having a bad day

You don’t know how she got it, but would thank her and give her the biggest kiss

Not like making out tho

Don’t get too 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂

As humans, and you being born a biological woman(I apologize if you don’t want to be reminded of that), if you were on your period, she would literally do everything and anything for you

She would turn on your tv with the remote thats a centimeter away, she would doordash ANY type of food or candy for you, like she’s your servant for whatever duration you have on your period

If you got 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 on your period then she’d be more shy to give you food and assist, as in actually assisting and not just sex

♥ Gift Giving

She knows a lot about you, the average person would be concerned

OH MY GOSH. She would go crazy and Valentine's day, and plan EVERYTHING.

She would learn how to cook, just for you

So you can have an amazing breakfast, and love her even more of course

She wouldn’t mind some praise either

She’d come up with so many ideas of gift giving, but is SO indecisive if she should give you them or not

Crochet, she would crochet a plushie of you, and STILL would physically stutter about giving it to you

Either way, she gave it to you and you loved it!!

You gave her one of her own of course!!

Something inside her head was telling her to eat it

Just a thought

She didn’t know WHAT to feel in that moment

Should she kiss you? Say thank you? Jump around??

I DON’T KNOW JUST SAY SOMETHING!!!!

“THANKYOUILOVEYOUSOMUCHANDTHISREALLYMEANSALOTTOME!!!”

She said all of that while hugging you and clinging onto your torso

Just you yourself is a gift to her really

♥ Words of Affirmation

She is NOT good with giving, but LOVES receiving.

I read this SMAU(Social Media Alternate Universe) fanfic of Anxiety and it was about nicknames(Creds to anxietyspeaceful on Tumblr)

Where Anxiety LOVED it when you used the nicknames on her, but cringed whenever she would use the nicknames

I feel like that’s 100% accurate

Risky texts have her SWEATING.

I also saw a Tik Tok of Anxiety’s room(It’s actually real, just look up Inside Out Anxiety’s room) and she has affirmations on a board right above her head

If you would help her with those affirmations, she would appreciate it so much

Especially hearing you say that she herself can do it, it really boosts her confidence

She may be insecure of her overbite, but you’ll always be there to tell her that everything about her is adorable, even her cheesy smile

She thought about you calling her smile cheesy. But you immediately reassured her that you meant like when somebody says cheese for a photo

That actually helped build her confidence and comfortability with photos

It’s time to get a little sad :(

If she ever realizes that you get uncomfortable because of her, she’d “hate” herself for some time

Unless you remind her of your personal(Relationship wise) affirmations

That you love her, and always will

And if you don’t, that’s not you.

♥ Quality Time

This is last, because y’know, dates outside of headquarters freak her out

She’ll probably get too much attention, most likely negative attention because of how she treated those blobs in imagination land

Most quality time is just at the console, but you guys are usually just focusing on Riley

So I guess it’s not a lot of time spent together and only for together

Most quality time is just hugging or cuddling, which is pure physical affection

You guys don’t have much time for dates either

If you do, then that’s when it’s time to sleep

Which Anxiety doesn’t do much of, but you probably do

If you don’t, hazzah! You two can “date” by watching dream duty

If you do, then yea there isn’t much time to ONLY spend together, initiating no cuddles or anything

But! Quality time with the two of you is like looking at her schedule, going over routines, possible scenarios, needing help, stuff, just not a lot

You guys don’t eat together a lot, because she just scarfs it down, as if she hasn’t eaten in days.

I didn’t say this because of her mouth, but because I feel like she’s a fast eater

Playing games is pretty nice, she really likes tennis!! She gets pretty fast, to the point where you don’t even know where the ball went!!

When she doesn’t see it either, she jumps with her hands in the air and says, “I won!” Ending it off with a little celebration and giggling

After celebrating, she looks at you and realizes you’ve been staring at her

And of course, shies away from your gaze because she’s nervous

[erika111111]

Some quick thoughts on the new trophies for the Until Dawn remake and how they seem to affect the game/characters...

I am infinitely devastated that "Don't Scare Jessica to Death" is no longer a trophy. Jess is one of my favorite characters and we're left thinking she's dead for half the game, to the point where the Butterfly Effect menu very excitedly states "Jessica was still alive!" I think Jess surviving and her end credits sequence where she just seems so broken and damaged is just so iconic and impactful, it deserves its own trophy. Plus the name is top tier.

On the bright side, I do love the new "Drag Me Through Hell" trophy. That chase scene is what made me like Mike cause it shows he really loved Jessica, and I also reallyyyy like the movie Drag Me to Hell. (I'm biased for it because it's one of the first movies I watched with my boyfriend.)

So the changes to the Chris shoots Ashley/Ashley doesn't let Chris in trophy line... I personally like the idea that Ashley purposefully lets Chris die, but I understand that's an unpopular opinion, so I guess that's why they changed it. It's no longer a "fatal grudge" she held against Chris, she just "hesitated and failed to let Chris inside in time." Though I am curious what's necessary in order to get that option now. Can you shoot Ashley anymore? Why did she hesitate if she doesn't have a grudge? Do you play as Ashley during that segment now and you need to go fast before Chris dies? It raises a lot of questions...

Same with the removal of the "Instant Inferno" trophy. A lot of people say it's out of character for Sam to immediately hit the switch and kill everybody so that could be why they got rid of it, but again, that raises questions. Can Sam not instantly hit the switch anymore? Or are you just not rewarded for it anymore? Because if you can't do it immediately anymore, that seriously sucks, because it takes away so much pressure and intensity from the ending.

I actually love that they changed the Emily/Ashley slap to "Talk to eM." Not only does it keep the original pun intact, they now based it off of one of my favorite movies of all-time, Talk to Me! Also the acknowledgement of the slap is great, I'm glad they noticed.

While I personally disliked the movie Cabin in the Woods, I actually headcanoned it as one of Josh's favorite movies, so I guess I'm glad it got a mention in "The Cabin in the Blackwoods."

"We Need to Talk About Josh" I hate this trophy I hate this trophy I hate this trophy I hate this trophy... Just let the Washingtons be tragic!!! Josh will never have a happy ending anyway!!! His sisters are DEAD

I know "American Survivor in Canada" will cause some controversy cause a lot of people headcanoned the Until Dawn cast as Canadian, but I guess this implies they're American but the Blackwood Mountains are in Canada?

And lastly, I love love LOVE "I Know What You Did Last Year." I remember reading another post on Tumblr where their dad described Until Dawn as "Wendigo knows what you did last summer" and I probably laughed for ten minutes straight, lol. It's such a matching horror movie for Until Dawn and I'm so glad it got a place in the game now.

As a whole, I'm super mixed. It kind of seems like they're trying to take out a lot of negative endings/negative characteristics of the characters, and that bums me out a lot. Of course haters complained about this stuff, but the true fans like the character flaws and how they're not just one-dimensional and boring.

[zebrafiz]

i cannot stop thinking about this game and all of the subtle nods pointing towards anyas assault that fly under the radar until all of the pieces are put together ☹️like it’s so genuinely disturbing

like since the entire post-crash storyline is in jimmys pov all of the anya-related commentary is so negative and rude as he treats her like an incompetent idiot who can’t do even basic nurse duties which is objectively false, seeing as she was able to keep curly alive for months with limited medical supplies regardless of his severe wounds. and it’s especially egregious when u realize he bases all of these assumptions off of her inability to give curly his meds - probably because it’s a trigger for her whether it be the sounds he makes or the act in and of itself of forcing someone to ingest something without getting verbal consent first. jimmy doesn’t have a single problem doing this though. first point!

then u get to the other stuff like her asking why the sleeping quarters don’t have locks on them while the med quarters do, her knowing curly wouldn’t ever tell her where the gun is so she goes out of her way to hide the case so at least jimmy can’t get his hands on it and come after her, her telling curly she’s scared of jimmy and curly just being like “i know him i can fix this” and not doing shit about anything. when jimmys being haunted by that rape baby he still never considers anya. He never even thinks about her let alone in regards to what he did to her. he’s only concerned with the baby and what it would do to his reputation when he gets back on earth, not that he ruined someone’s life. and i think the very first sign is his insistence on making sexual comments to her during the psych evals so much that anya is uncomfortable performing them on him anymore and asks curly to do it for her. that point is particularly poignant to me because it’s a real life sign that is swept under the rug so often because in lots of circles it’s just seen as “locker room talk” or Natural Boy Things, not harassment that can and does lead into physical assault very often when it’s not taken seriously.

it’s a rly good game with a huge gut punch of a storyline. when u first go in ur expecting typical Space Horror stuff, maybe some alien monsters, maybe cannibalism since they have limited food. but u don’t get a big bad monster - what u get is this haunting deeply realistic narrative about rape and misogyny and how deeply ingrained it is in society. Like it reallyyyy excels at showing the dehumanization of rape victims by their assaulters on an uncomfortable level. and how bystanders/men who stay friends with their rapist friends even after knowing what they’ve done play a significant role in that dehumanization as well. till the very end he only shows remorse towards curly and what they could’ve done together. Misogyny is one hell of a drug. They need to be killed with fire

watched a mouthwashing playthrough…. Anya… MY SHAYLAAAAA 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[hotarutranslations]

Kiso-chan!

Evening Its Ishida Ayumi

 Today!

 October 20th, Niinuma Kisora-chan

Happy Birthday 💙🎉

  She has always said that she likes me,

 It makes me really happy……

 It seems like Kiso-chan was very careful so, She wouldn’t come off as being creepy… but, Its not like that at all,

 I think she’s funny 🤣 lol

 I’m really happy!

   maybe I’m the one not giving anything back--,

 I thought that,

 Probably,

 Its something I don’t need to think about as its ok,

 Lol

  Today with Kiso-chan, I had a photoshoot with her for the first time,

 I’m very pleased about it 🌷

 Further as today is her birthday, We had a surprise cake,

 And so,

 She said that her 22nd will be her happiest birthday—

 She said many times today that, She is glad she is alive 😂💙

  With this much enjoyment,

 I’ve also decided to be happy about it--!

  The 2 of us had a photoshoot for,

 “Weekly Young Jump”

 I’ll announce when its being published another day ⚠️

 The shoot and the interview, Were really really fun!

 Kiso-chan is too funny! Lol

 And chatty! Lol

  Its just, for myself, I think all of the fans will enjoy this 2 shot so, with I’m looking forward towards its release 🌷

 By all means, look forward to it

  Kiso-chan, please have a wonderful year!

 As always thank you 🐣

  From there,

 Today is BEYOOOOONDS’s, Okamura Minami-chan’s birthday as well ❤

 Miimi-- ❤

 Miimi is, On Kacho Fuugetsu Team Moon,

 I’m on Wind but,

 Last time on tour during the rehearsal, Miimi got the role of, Dancing in Oh my wish!

 I don’t know if I’d be able to remember the choreography from a video, I think its really hard……

 (I’m really bad at memorizing things from video in particular though 💔 )

 Still doing ones utmost to memorize it, She properly followed, Ikuta-san who was one of the original members,

 But it seems like she was always uneasy and checking it, She would come over and ask about the choreography,

 I watched her reallyyyy doing her best

 This Miimi is really cool!!

 I hope you have a wonderful year 🌷

  Tokyo Sports Series↓updated today #37 I Never Thought, That I Would Experience This One Day

 The other day  I took over the airwaves, That feeling, what I learned, I talk about that

 I’m cherishing these firsts!!!

   The other day, “Himitsu no Kenmin SHOW” aired TVer

 If you missed it, its streaming, so by all means!!!

 137

 BBQ and Fireworks 🎆

  💃 Hello Pro Dance Academy 📺️

 The first episode is airing on the 21st, for streaming

 📻️ Morning Musume '21's Morning Jogakuin ~Houkago Meeting~

Ishida Ayumi Sato Masaki Haga Akane Next week, and the week after we will be in attendance

Radio Nihon  📻️ Every Saturday 12:00AM~12:30AM STV Radio 📻️ Every Sunday 12:30AM~1:00AM KBS Kyoto 📻️ Every Wednesday 9:30PM~10:00PM

Click here for classes that can only be heard here

    Helping someone out,

 Makes me unconditionally happy 🌷

  See you ayumin ❤

 https://ameblo.jp/morningmusume-10ki/entry-12705121168.html

[kazumahashimoto]

cheer danshi gender and sexuality master list. i went over the genders in my trans kazu analysis but :) well. so i will just make a whole post. some of these will be expanded upon and some won't🤷‍♀️

kazu - gay trans guy. undoubtedly the gayest character in cheer danshi. i don't think he neccesarily knew he was TRANS when his parents were still alive but i think he definitely made it a point to not want to be in dresses and such and his parents were more than happy to allow that. kazu loves his mom so so much and he named himself after her once he was ready to pick a new name :) i imagine him and haru writing a list of names and circling things and crossing them out and what not. i also just adore the idea of kazu being trans and the captain of an all men's cheer club. it would be so liberating and scary at the same time. it gives even more reason fur him wanting haru to join so bad. him being trans and his relationship with saku also makes me very happy :) saku seeing another trans guy on the cheer squad (the CAPTAIN even) and especially being a FLIER..... i mean we saw how happy he was. i can (AND DID LOL) do a wholeeeee analysis on trans kazu though so i'll leave it at that.

saku - gay trans guy. GENUINELY gay not even coded. i don't care. like saku has THE MOST EXPLICIT CRUSH on kazu. he is not coded. the only thing they could have done to make it more obvious is just have him fucking say i'm gay. he's gay. genuinely canon gay character in cheer danshi. explictly. he's also absolutely trans coded. the amount of times someone has asked "are you sure you aren't a girl" is unbearable. in the manga we see him like actually getting harassed over it not just shitty gen being an asshole fur Funsies. HOWEVER it's not all bad!!! saku likes wearing cute things and even though he's a little insecure sometimes he never let's that stop him from doing what he loves!! and of course at the end of the show we get his line about how he was worried about how "little and girlish" he was until he met kazu. i relate to saku a lot especially with not being passing so yeah little trans boy.

sho - gay nb. i imagine his gender IS that he's gay yknow. very much he loves men and also not having a gender. his clothes are hideous. i think it's very very very funny to say he's gay coded just because of his clothes and even if that's not what coding means this is MY show. i decide which characters are canonically gay. and shou is the second gayest.

hisashi - gay trans guy. the final gay of the four gay men. he had his little "i don't talk to girls" moment and he has an enemies to lovers with takeru. kinda gay. takeru is shown walking hisashi's dog in one of the box set covers soooooo i assume things are going well. i'm saying he's trans not only because i want takeru to be the token cis between him hisashi and saku but ALSO because i want saku to have another trans person that he's close to and NOT madly in love with.

haru - bi and cis. i think haru being cis is 1 funny and 2 reallyyyy adds to kazu's mental illness. i don't think kazu would idolize him being CIS but i DO think he'd idolize things like his voice getting deeper and having a flat chest. i felt like that a LOT when i was friends with cis boys but i never wanted to BE cis so i imagine kazu going through that as well. when him and kazu were in judo together he made it clear to his parents that kazu was gonna be on the boys team with him and him and haruko made sure no one gave him any problems. also he's bi because protag of course he's bi.

wataru - bi and cis. sometimes he says gay things and he gets flustered over girls.

ton - bi and cis. very nice :) his gf chihiro is so sweet and nice and they have matching phone cases which is so cute!!!! they are just so cute with each other i love them sm....

gen - cishet. rot

ichiro - cishet. rot

takeru - bi and cis. token cis as a said and his little enemies to lovers with hisashi.

chen - gay and cis. him and saku talk about cute boys together and they go to the mall. little fruity friends call that twink alliance.

kin - bi trans guy. i want him to be trans really really badly especially because of his friendship with saku in the manga but also because idk he's just very tall and intimidating and i want him to be trans. ALSO dou and natsuki look up to him SO much and i imagine they've known each other since FUREVER and i want kin to have that support. also kin has a big crush on coach takegi and it very much gives woman picking up man vibes like i don't think she's interested but he is very respectful and i think big intimidating man just wants to be cared fur.....

dou - bi trans guy. he looks up to kin SO much and kin being trans as well just makes him so much happy and they support each other a lot :)

natsuki - bi and cis. i want the little cis boy to look up to the big trans man. also natsuki and dou are dating. also the three of them are a little bi trio

takumi - gay and cis. something about him man. gay.

takuya - bi and cis. something about him man. bi. i think him and kin probably make out at LEAST once a week. "oh we've just been job hunting together" EVERYDAY? so often you're missing practice? smells fruity to me.

haruko - bi and cis. and gnc. she had the line "sometimes i wish i had just been born a boy so things would be easier" because she was frustrated that haru didn't need to work as hard as she did to be good at judo so that's partially why i hc them both as cis. i do think she's gnc though just cos that's the vibe. they never met in the anime but i think her and sakura could be cute together <3 also her and haru bi siblings.

sakura - lesbian and cis. her and sho are very much gay best friends. she was a jock femme, he was a jock twink. they are good friends :)

chihiro - bi trans girl!!!!! she is so cute and sweet and kinda clumsy and i just love her so much. her and ton are so cute. they're just so cute.

takegi - bi and cis. idk who her previous partner was but she has a son and she is a very good mom and coach 😌 milf

and yeah that's everyone i think 👍

[writingandhotcocoa]

I would never leave you

Request:  Could you maybe do a Newt from TMR imagine where he reader gets hurt and Newt has to take care of her and falls in love with her? Can it be reallyyyy flufyyy and cute? Thank you(:

(A/N): I hope this is what you wanted, thank you for your request! ♥

Fandom: The maze runner

Pairing: Newt x reader

Word count: 2550

warnings: Cranks!

Run. You were running as fast as you could, the sound of running engines behind you.

Only minutes ago you laid in a room with Teresa with doctors on the floor around you. You were woken up by Newt, his hand squeezing yours. You had opened your eyes slowly and looked around you. The doctors lay on the ground, out cold, and Thomas and Minho were holding the door.

“Wake up, love, ” he said. You groaned and slowly opened your eyes. “What did they do to you?”

“What’s going on?” you asked. Newt opened his mouth to answer, but Thomas interrupted him.

“We really have to go now,” Thomas said.

“guys they’re coming, where do we go?” you heard frypan say. the next moment Thomas kicked a table to the ground and pushed it in front of the door, blocking the door. Newt held your lower arms steady so you could get up, and you stood up. The guards were throwing themselves at the door, and Minho -with a gun- said you needed to get out of there. You were standing behind Newt, looking over his shoulder.

“Stand back!” you heard Thomas shout behind you, and then he threw a chair at the window. It didn’t break the glass, so Newt jumped in. Together they tried it again, and this time the glass shattered in a million pieces. Teresa laid a blanket on the glass for safety, and Thomas helped her get to the other side. Frypan went behind her, and then you. You felt Newt’s hand on your lower back.

“Come on,” he said, and you climbed to the other side, followed by him. Minho threw the gun to Thomas -which he caught perfectly- and Thomas opened the door. Behind the door stood a guard, and he stood right in front of Thomas. Thomas reacted immediately and pulled the trigger, making the guard slam to the ground. Lightning appeared in front of him and screeches left his mouth. Thomas watched mouth opened but moved after a few moments. Newt slightly pushed you through the door into the hallway, behind Teresa and Frypan. Though you still had woken up, you ran as fast as you could. The adrenaline rushed through your veins and your heart pumped fast.

After you escaped and ran into darkness, Teresa found an abandoned building, and you went inside. Newt was in front of you, and you went after him. You stumbled down the sand and lost your balance, but you felt arms on your waist before you touched the ground. You looked behind you and found the beautiful eyes from Newt. A warm feeling grew in your stomach but disappeared when you looked around you.

Minho turned on a flashlight so you guys could see what was around you.

“Where the hell are we?” he asked out loud.

“We gotta go-” Thomas responded,

“No- Thomas stop,” Teresa said, ”tell me what’s going on”

You stepped forward, leaving Newt’s embrace. “I would like to know either”

“It’s W.I.C.K.E.D. It’s always been W.I.C.K.E.D, they lied to us when we escaped” He said. All your hope inside disappeared, and tears formed in your eyes. And when Thomas started to talk about bodies, you lost it. You finally felt safe. You finally thought everything would be over. And now, everything was a lie.

“There is something inside us that W.I.C.K.E.D wants.” you breathed heavily, and you leaned on your knees. You felt a hand on your back and recognized it as Newts. He looked at you with concerned eyes, and you nodded to let him know you were okay. But inside, you weren’t.

“We have to get away from them as far as possible” Thomas stated.

“Okay,” newt sighed, ”So what’s the plan?” But Thomas stayed silent. After a moment, you hold your breath.

“You do have a plan right?” you asked Thomas.

“We followed you out here Thomas and now you’re saying that you have no idea where we’re going or what we’re doing?” Newt said. You turned around and held your hand through your hair.

“Wait” you heard. You turned around and looked at the new kid -Aris was his name you believed. “Jensen said something about people hiding in the mountains. Some kind of resistance or army-”

“The right arm,” Thomas said, “If they really are against W.I.C.K.E.D then-”

“Maybe they can help us,” you said. Newt looked at you, first with a face full of disbelief. But if Thomas and Aris were right, you guys found help. Maybe even a new home. And this thought gave you hope. Just a little bit, but enough to agree with the plan. And Newt sees this in your eyes. His face softened and nodded to Thomas.

“Minho give me a light,” Winston said. You walked to him and sat next to him. He pointed at footsteps in the sand, going deeper into the building.

“Someone’s been down here” 

Further in de building, you found clothes and more flashlights.

“Looks like people lived here,” You said, picking up a jacket from the ground.

“But where are they know?” Newt responded, looking at you.

“Let’s pick some of this stuff up, anything you might need. We’ll split up, see what else we can find.” Thomas said. These words made you feel uncomfortable. The place was pretty scary, why would you split up? You stood next to Newt, and you hoped you might stay in this room. You certainly didn’t want to be alone in here, and you even preferred to be with Newt.

From the beginning, you and Newt had a connection. Your eyes always searched for his in a crowd, and you felt safe when he was around. Together you were a power couple, you completed each other. And whatever they tried, W.I.C.K.E.D could not separate the two of you.

Minho and Thomas were about to leave before they turned around, looking at you. “Are you coming (Y/N)?” Minho said. You gave Newt a reassuring look before you went to join them.

Definitely, something bad happened to the big building, it was ruined. You walked past many stores, so you guessed it was supposed to be a mall. Eventually, you ended up in a big pit, with loads of stuff.

“What are we looking for?” you asked, searching for something useful.

“Signs of life” Thomas answered. “People, survivors, anyone who can help us”

You walked further and slowly let your flashlight scan the big piles of stuff. You looked up and saw a dead body. You started and almost fell.

“Does he count?” you asked, breathing heavily.

“Guys look at this!” You heard Minho say. You walked over to him and saw a big machine. It was probably a generator, and it looked still intact.

“This looks promising,” he said. Minho pressed a few buttons before the machine started rambling. It began rambling, and it was louder than you expected.

“Minho wait!” Thomas said, but it was too late. Lights spread over the whole building went on, and it was not what you expected. If there was still someone there, they know you were there too.

Minho was wearing a big smile, but it disappeared immediately when he looked over at Thomas.

“Thomas look out!” he yelled before a creature appeared behind a fence. It screamed, and Thomas almost fell over. You scared and you moved backward.  

The creature looked like a human, but all of her veins were black and so were her eyes. She screamed at you three and she looked as if she was ready to eat you all alive. Behind you, another creature showed up. It walked towards you bit Minho grabbed a big stick and slammed the creature to the ground.

“What the hell are they?” Minho yelled.

“I don’t care, run!” you cried out. You ran as hard as you could, followed by Minho and Thomas. You ran on an escalator to the level where the others were, yelling at them.

“Run!” you yelled as hard as you could, hoping they would. Eventually, they came in sight, and you three screamed even harder. But only when the creatures came around the corner, they started running. You quickly caught up to them and you grabbed Newt’s arm.

You ran on another escalator, and when you wanted to go on another, another creature showed up. Aris ran forward with a pipe and hit him on his legs, what made the creature fall. You ran to the next floor, still running away from those monsters. You thought you were far ahead of them, but then out of nowhere a creature broke through the glass and attacked Newt. He fell to the ground, and the group stopped. You ran towards him, screaming.

“Newt!” you screamed, and you kicked the creature from him. You helped him get up and hold his face for a moment.

“Are you okay?” you asked concerned. He looked into your eyes and nodded.

“Yeah- come on run!” he said when he looked behind you. The others were running towards you, fast. He grabbed your hand, and you ran into a small hallway. You ran into multiple closed doors, and when you came to the end there was nowhere to go. Minho and Thomas kicked against big doors, while you grabbed Winston’s gun.

“I will hold them off!” you said, turning around. You held the gun in front of you and pulled the trigger multiple times. You shot many of them, but some still managed to avoid your bullets. They came closer and closer, and the door was still not open. But after a few seconds, the door opened and everyone went inside.

“(Y/N) come on!” Newt said, and he grabbed your arm. He turned you around and pulled you with him, but one creature was too close. It grabbed your leg and pulled you backward, what made you fall. Newt grabbed your upper body and pulled hard, joined by Winston. The creature was about to take a bite from your leg, but you kicked it in the face with your other foot. You flew into the air thanks to Newt and Winston and got on your legs. You ran behind Teresa and Frypan with Newt by your side, holding your hand.

You came into a parking lot, and you found cover under a concrete shelf. You put out all your flashlights and hoped that the creatures would not see you. You closed your eyes until Newt laid his arm on your shoulder. You rested your head on his chest, hoping this nightmare would end soon.

The next morning, you woke up when Thomas was scaring a bird away. Nice. Not that you slept well after last night’s events, but okay. You found your head on Newt’s chest and sat up slowly. Newt was already awake and watching you. Thomas stood up and you looked at him.

“They’re gone,” he said, and you took a breath. “We’re safe for now, but let’s keep moving” You slowly packed some stuff and stood up. But after a moment, you fell down again.

“Woah, what’s up?” Frypan asked, and you groaned. You pulled away a part of your pants to reveal your ankle, and it didn’t look good. Your veins were black on a small part of your ankle, but it looked like it was spreading.

“What happened?” asked Newt concerned, before he bent down to look at your wound, “I thought it didn’t bite you”

“It didn’t, “ you said.

“Maybe it affected you by scratch?” Winston said. You put your eyes, why did this have to happen to you? You tried to stand up again, but your foot just couldn’t handle your weight. You fell in Newt’s arm, and he put his arm around your waist.

“Hey, relax,” he said, “Let’s see if you can walk” You put your arm around his shoulders, and tried to lean on your other ankle. You moved forward, but slowly.

“I can walk, but I’m just holding you up… ” you said. You were scared, scared that you were being chased again and then you would be dead. You were just holding up the others, you knew that.

“So what? (Y/N) I'm not leaving you here” Newt said. You smiled at him, at his adorable eyes, and you were once again surprised by his kindness.

“Newt-”

“No, I’m sure we can figure something out.”

“If we make a stretcher, we can carry her” Teresa suggested.

“Guys-” you tried.

“Let’s do that” Newt said firmly. You sighed but agreed. Everyone was searching for materials to make a stretcher, and you sat there, useless. You hated being useless, you wanted to help. But you knew that you could not, because of your ankle. You looked at the fallen city in front of you. It was a spectacular view, even when the city wasn’t really pretty. Suddenly the view became even prettier when Newt stood in front of you.

“are you okay?” he asked while sitting down.

“Next to being useless? Yeah fine” you said.

“It’s not your fault, you know that right?”

“I don’t actually. Newt I'm scared” you confessed, and you grabbed his hand. He looked at you with his beautiful eyes, and for a moment it was just you two. “What if those zombies come again, and I’m just holding you up? I can never ask you to not give me up, and I want you to leave me. I'm helpless anyway-”

“You are not helpless,” he said, while he took your face into his hands. He wiped away a tear you hadn’t noticed and looked at you. “And you are not holding us up. This is not your fault, and (Y/N), I would never leave you.”

“Newt-”

“Never,” he said, and you stared at him. How could someone be so sweet and caring? He was always there for you, and you loved him for that. Yes, you loved him. That moment, when his face was so close to yours, you realized it. His smile always light up your day. His words make your world fall apart, in a good way. He made you blush, just by looking at you. You were staring at him, at the boy you loved. And for once second, you saw his eyes flicker to your lips. You slowly moved your face forwards, and so did he. When your face was so close to his that you felt his hot breath linger on your lips, you kissed him.

Your lips crashed into his, creating an explosion. For a moment, you felt no fear. You felt home. You felt love inside you, for the boy you were kissing.

When you slowly pulled away for air, you missed his lips already. You opened your eyes slowly and saw Newt grinning in front of you. You smiled.

“Thank you,” you said, and he pulled you into a hug.

“Never a problem, love”

[purgemarchlockdown]

#oh yea i think i also remember her saying something like she didn't kill anyone and specifically left mahiru alive#only because she knew we still had to judge them#i think you're very right about her wordlview tho i distinctly remember was studying law before she dropped out#and it's probably because she lost faith in the legal justice system#in a sense she's deemed the people in charge of the justice system as the 'wrong people'#but she put so much faith in es' judgement so much so that she brutalized the guilty prisoners just on our judgement alone#even though she doesn't actually have any clue what they did#so to her we (es) are the 'right people' to mete out justice#and taking it upon herself to deal out punishments is also like. it implies her thought process is something like#'these people are incompetent. therefore if we want anything done i have to do it myself because i am right'#to kotoko the people in the justice system are the 'wrong people' to be in charge of justice and she and es are the 'right people'#anyways i know this comparison has been made a hundred times but ive been rereading death note so: yea she's. reallyyyy like light yagami#it takes thinking 'no one else can do it' to take it upon yourself to do extreme things like that#but she's interesting because she's still willing to put her faith in others?? like to share the mantle with someone#as long as she deems then worthy eg. es#idk i was going somewhere with this but i lost ot halfway this is super disorganized i just think about kotoko a lot#her ableism is kinda shitty of her but also really fascinating because she's like. i think she sees it in a sense as#depriving the people she sees as undeserving of power tags by @clownsalot

#I already meantioned this but god Kotoko's ableism is such an interesting and important part of her character#And I feel like it doesn't get enough focus in the fandom both people who like and dislike her#except to obviously say “wtf Kotoko ableism is wrong” which like... yeah lmao#Kotoko's view of the disabled tells us so much about her view of the world at large and I think more people need to analyze it tags by @sunlit-haruka

It really is such an interesting part of her character! It's definitely Wrong of her, and her mindset scares me even when I Didn't Know for sure that she would view me as weak or even abnormal. But it really does seem to inform a lot of how she sees the world.

On law, law is a really high-stress profession by it's nature and actually a lot of lawyers turn to alcohol to cope.

Also, a bit related I once watched this video from a lawyer (can't remember what the video was...) who described practicing law as Looking at the law and wanting to change it to make it better, but the system saying "But the consequences!" And then shouting back "I Know what the consequences are!" and after watching that I went and asked a lawyer I'm close to and he went "Yeah it's like that." So I'm not really surprised by Kotoko's disillusionment with it.

It really stood out to me that Kotoko trusts Es! I think it shows that Kotoko more or less distrusts the People running the System and not the System itself. That the system will be Fine as it is, it's just that Someone Else needs to run it

Whose fault is it, This is getting ridiculous What should the punishment be

It's a mindset that Favors the Status Quo, really. 1moremilgram-enjoyer actually talked about how it seems like Kotoko believes that evil is the "broken" state of the world. So to fix the world it needs to "return" back to it's "normal" state of being. It seems like her worldview is couched in the idea that there's a Nebulous Evil that Infects the world.

This also leads into some really shitty ideologies and ties pretty well into the aforementioned ableism. There's a "Right Way" to live and a "Wrong Way" and sometimes people are Just abnormal. They cannot live in the "Right Way" and need to be removed for the sake of normalcy.

22/12/15 (Kotoko’s Birthday)

Kotoko: Hm. The border between the two is getting a lot vaguer. Your entire existence is a crime. And I will see you’re punished for it.

It really does seem like to her that to be disabled is to either be weak (and thus works as a good punishment) or to disturb the natural order of the world (and thus need to be eliminated.)

Again, glad to know that my existence is a disturbance to the natural order of the world. But yeah, it really says a lot about her I think.

Thinking about Kotoko's ableism...I swear that somewhere she said she wasn't going to kill any of the T2 Prisoners (at least directly because....yknow...infections) and I wonder if that was because she viewed them possibly becoming disabled as a...harsh enough punishment, if you will. It's interesting how she divides the world, there's the strong and the weak and the good from the bad.

Her worldview feels very: "The problem with the world is that the Wrong People have the power, so I have to find the Right People and give them the power." if that makes sense

I've chosen the awaited hero.