#i really wish someone would just say what it is about me

[kikidoul]

── LET ME LOVE YOU.

ヾ(´︶`♡)ﾉ 西村力 x fem! reader content ᥫ᭡ warning explicit sexual content friends to lovers best friend! riki riki's fed up with reader unprotected sex (whoops!) pussy eating fingering riding squirting slight mean! riki slight degrading (no usage of slut/whore dw) . . .!? 2679 — mlist. part one

note. i'm a person of my words so here is the promised part two! shit ending because i don't wanna drag this longer than it already is... taglist. @tfwbluu @hoonstqr @riqomi @en-chantedtomeetyou @delirioastral @highway-143

It has been five months since your best friend took your virginity. Five months of him not talking to one another. Within those five months, you found yourself in a romantic relationship with a guy—Dongha. He was everything one would wish for in an ideal boyfriend. He was patient, kind, understanding and loyal. He never tried anything that made you feel uncomfortable and he was perfectly content with moving at your pace—something you greatly appreciated. However, your mind couldn’t help but wander towards Riki. 

Everytime you were going on dates with Dongha, your thoughts were completely filled with Riki. Oh, there’s a dog that’s the same breed as Bisco? Riki. You saw someone dressed in a similar way as him? Riki. You’re at a cafe and you saw a drink that is Riki’s favorite? Riki. In conclusion, you could see him everywhere you go and you weren’t sure how much longer you could do this. Currently, you were at a Korean restaurant with Dongha but just like always, you couldn’t find it in yourself to listen to what your boyfriend was saying. 

“(Name), we need to talk,” he sighed when he realized you weren’t listening to a single word he had said. The one sentence was enough to snap you out of your thoughts. 

“What is it?” You asked. 

Dongha placed his chopsticks down. “Look, don’t get the wrong idea; I love you, I really do and it was fun spending my time with you. But, I believe that deep down, you and I both know your heart already belongs to someone else.” 

You froze, visibly caught off-guard. “I…” 

He gave you an understanding smile, shaking off your words. “It’s fine, I’m not mad. I just thought it’s unfair for you and him.” 

You don’t even have to ask who he was referring to. You merely nodded your head, gripping onto your own chopsticks. “Dongha, I-” 

“It’s fine, I just wish the both of you happiness and if you get married, I expect an invitation to your ceremony,” he joked, managing to make you laugh. 

With that, you left the restaurant with newfound determination. The determination to find Riki, have a much-needed talk and apologize to him. Your legs acted by instinct, taking the same route to his home. It was only when you stopped by his closed door was when you realized you were nervous. Your fingers trembled as you raised your left hand, gently knocking on the door, swinging back and forth on your heels while waiting. Your ears picked up approaching, heavy footsteps and when it swung open, your breath was taken away from the sight before you. 

Just like before, Riki was dressed in a black tank top with his signature pair of gray sweatpants that hung dangerously low around his hips. You swore you could see his Calvin Kleins peeking but you were interrupted from your best friend clearing his throat. He arched an eyebrow, crossing his arms while leaning against the doorframe. 

“What are you doing here, (Name)? I thought you’re busy with that boyfriend of yours?” He asks, malice evident in his voice at the usage of the word ‘boyfriend’. 

You shuffled your feet about. “I…I broke up with him.” 

Silence. 

You dared to raise your head, looking at him and was greeted with surprise written all over his face. His eyes widened slightly, crossed arms lowered as he stared at you. Riki blinks, regaining his composure and scowling, the previous coldness now back. You weren’t sure why but it hurts. You hated the way he looked at you—like you were nothing but a mere stranger in his eyes. 

“You can’t do this to me,” he snarled, frustration seeping into his voice. 

You yelped when he tugged you in, slamming the door closed and pushing you up against it. His grip on your right arm tightened, his free hand moving to grip your chin, forcing you to look at him. You nervously gulped at flames of anger and something akin to uncertainty, burning in his eyes. Riki leans down, using his height to his advantage until your noses graze against one another. 

“You can’t just waltz in here like nothing happened,” he hissed. “You were the one who asked for my help, only to tell me we should remain as friends? And now, what? You came running back, all because that boytoy of yours couldn’t please you? I’m not letting you use me again.”

The more he speaks, the more you could detect the hurt in his voice and you felt like you’ve been dumped in a pail of freezing, cold water. You were angry at yourself, angry for not noticing how Riki felt towards you at the start. You took a deep breath to calm your nerves and faced him. 

“Riki, look, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for not knowing that you love me. I’m sorry for being an ass, alright? But, you have to believe me; Dongha and I broke up on good terms. He knows about us.” 

He eyes you, an unreadable expression on his face before he crashes your lips together, swallowing your noise of surprise. The way he kissed you felt like you were being devoured whole. It was messy, teeth clanking against one another as your tongues danced a passionate dance that only lovers know. Except, you weren’t lovers. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer, unable to bear the thought of being separated from him. Riki tapped your thigh twice and you jumped. He easily caught you, carrying you to his bedroom without breaking the kiss. 

Your back hit the soft mattress and Riki was quick to follow suit, hovering over you with hands resting on both sides of your head. You were the first to break the kiss, lips bruised and swollen, panting to catch your breath. Riki, on the other hand, couldn’t tear his eyes away from you. He searched your face for any sign of hesitation, that he had crossed the line and misunderstood you. 

“Are you sure you want this? Because I can’t let you go again,” he murmured, cupping your face in his hands. Your eyelids fluttered shut, leaning into his touch. 

“I’m sure, Riki. I want this. I want you,” you replied and that was enough to grant him the green light. 

He kissed you again and this time, it was more desperate and urgent—like he was pouring out his feelings through the kiss. You tried your best to return the gesture, mewling into his greedy mouth as he swallowed the sounds you made, like it was a five-course meal served to him on a golden platter. His hands traced your body, snaking underneath the barricade of your shirt, pushing it up and up, until he had to break the kiss to get rid of it. Riki pulled you back in for another kiss, already drunk on your addictive taste.

He made quick work of your shorts, only leaving you in your matching bra and panties. You had to break the kiss at how your lungs were screaming for oxygen. Riki took the chance to kiss down your neck, hand smoothly unbuckling your bra with one hand and wasted no time in capturing your right nipple in his mouth. You let out a yelp, gripping onto his hair and pushing your chest towards his mouth, whimpering at how he fiddled with your other nipple with his free hand, giving both equal attention. 

“Ngh, Riki, stop teasing,” you whined, lips curling down in a pout when his eyes flickered up. 

The corners of his lips tugged upward in a teasing smirk, his hand moving to boldly slide his hand underneath your panties, fingers tracing along your folds. He groaned when he felt you dripping over his fingers, the thought making his cock twitched in the constraints of his sweatpants. As much as he wished to keep teasing you, he too was reaching his limit. Pulling away from your now saliva-covered nipples, he removed the remains of your clothes, doing the same for him. 

Riki shuffled down until he was on his knees and elbows, throwing your legs over his shoulders. He spared one final glance in your direction before diving in. The moment his lips touched your clit was the moment you moaned out loud, the sound bouncing off the walls of his bedroom. You gripped onto the pillow, mind going hazy as he alternated between kitten licks and long swipes of his tongue. The sensation of the wet, slimy muscle against your clit was driving you insane. He continued, pushing you to the edge and when he felt you were close to cumming, he pulled away. 

“What the fuck?” You raised your head, flashing him an incredulous look but he merely raised an eyebrow, taunting you.  “Riki, I swear to God, if you don’t do something, I’m leaving.” 

Silence.

He laughed��the sound sending shivers down your spine in an unsettling way. Your only warning was his eyes darkening a shade before he gripped your chin in a vice-like grip, nails digging into your skin. You winced, knowing that he’ll be leaving indents behind. He pushed you deeper into the mattress, shoving his knee in between your legs and you flinched at the fabric of his sweatpants directly touching your sensitive clit. 

“What? You’re leaving and going to find someone else to fuck you, is that it?” He sneers, malice dripping from his words. 

You couldn’t speak, speechless with the sudden change of behavior from Riki. You’ve never seen him like this before, looking down at you, like you were nothing compared to him. He smirked at how you went silent, purposely flexing his thigh against your clit, the action eliciting a needy whine from you. 

“Please,” you begged in your dazed state, unsure of what you were even asking for but Riki was able to read your mind. 

He cocked his head to the side, a knowing glint shown in his eyes. “Please what? Tell me what you want and I’ll give it to you, hm?”

You shot him a glare but it wasn’t as effective as it was with your teary eyes. “Fuck me, please?”

He groaned, pulling his knee away—much to your disappointment. You were about to make a noise of protest when the voice died in your throat, watching as he made quick work of his clothes. You gripped onto the pillow underneath you as Riki wrapped a hand around his hard, upright cock, slowly pumping himself and using the already leaking precum as lubricant. You raised your hips, allowing him to slide another pillow beneath while he spread your legs, aligning himself against your entrance. 

A loud, shameless moan was ripped from the depths of your throat as he slowly pushed in, inch by inch. You swore he was rearranging your insides to fit the girth and silhouette of his cock. It felt like eternity by the time he bottomed out. Riki, on the other hand, nearly cum right there and then when he felt how tight you were. It was like your walls were clinging onto him, refusing to let him go. He dryly swallowed, resisting the tempting urge to pound into you with no mercy and chose to rub circles on your hips to distract himself. 

“You good?” He asks, furrowing his eyebrows. 

You nodded, shifting your position slightly, drawing gasps from the both of you at how his cock kissed your sensitive spot. “I..I’m good, you can move.” 

Riki’s eyes flickered down, unable to tear them away while he pulled out until his tip was still inside and pushed back in without warning. The sudden action elicited a high-pitched keen from you and determined to hear more, he increased his pace, showing no signs of stopping. Sounds of skin slapping against skin echoed amongst the four walls of his bedroom. The bedframe smacks against the wall at an equal interval. Riki was certain he’d be getting a noise complaint from the neighbours but he didn’t care about it now, not when he finally had you in his bed again. 

Your back arched off the bed, head tilted back to reveal your neck. It was only right for Riki to lean down, planting kisses while leaving hickeys behind—a physical claim that you were taken by him. You let out what sounds to be a mixture of a sob and whimper at how his cock kept hitting the same spot, over and over again, making you see stars in your vision. Wrapping your arms around his shoulders, you dug your nails into his skin—leaving indents behind. 

“Did that boyfriend of yours fucked you like I did?” Riki taunts, lips hovering near your left ear. He smirked at how you clenched down on his words. “Does he know that you came to me, begging me to fuck you?” 

“R-Riki,” you whined, mind borderline going delirious with how good it felt, making you wonder how you had survived without experiencing this. “Please, ngh, wanna cum.” 

“Yeah? Does my princess wanna cum? I don’t think you deserve it though,” he hums, leaning back so he could get a clear look on your face. 

In a blink of an eye, Riki switched your movements, resulting in you sitting on his lap with him still inside you while he leaned against the bed frame, the pillow squashed behind him. He grinned at how you owlishly blinked your eyes, confused. 

“If you want to cum, then you gotta work for it,” he said, hands resting on your hips. 

You huffed, hands moving to his stomach to support yourself. Raising yourself a little, you slammed back down, biting down on your lip at how heavenly it felt. You started at a slow pace, your thigh muscles already screaming and aching in pain. Riki merely watched, eyes darkening a shade at how erotic the sight was. You continued and when he saw signs of you struggling, he dug his feet into the mattress and thrusted upwards without warning. 

“Fuck!” You cried out, not expecting it. 

Riki continues thrusting into you from below, eyes greedily drinking in how you were falling apart with every thrust. All it took was one final, powerful snap of his hips for you to reach your orgasm. Your body trembled from the intensity as warm, transparent liquid gushed from your cunt, staining your sweaty bodies and the sheets. Riki was quick to follow suit, releasing his load inside you, making you whine at how full you felt. 

You ended up collapsing on top of him, drawing an “oof” from Riki, who patted your head like you were a child. He gently pulled out, rolling you to the side so he could get up. However, he was stopped when you grabbed his wrist, making him stop in place. He looked over his shoulder, noting the faint uncertainty in your eyes. 

“..Where are you going?” You muttered, sounding almost afraid that he was leaving. 

His eyes softened. “I need to clean us up. I’ll be right back.” 

He delivers a sweet kiss to your forehead before heading to the bathroom, reappearing a few seconds later with damp towels. Riki took extra care in wiping you down, even carrying and helping you to wear his fresh, clean clothes. He removed the dirtied sheets—seeing the stains made your cheeks flushed red, replacing them with clean ones and only threw on boxers and sweatpants. You returned to bed, leaving some distance between the two of you as you stared at the ceiling. 

“Now what? What does this make us?” Riki asks, feeling a sense of deja vu from his question. 

You turned to him, giving him a soft smile. “Now, we’re a couple. Unless you’re against the idea.” 

His shoulders sagged with relief, pulling you closer towards him—drawing a squeak from you when your face was pressed against his shoulder. “No, of course not. I’ve waited for this moment for so long. You have no idea what you do to me.” 

Laughing, you kissed his shoulder. “I think I do.” 

[lazysoulwriter]

grumpy and irresistible - joel miller. (MDNI)

LOOK AT ME WRITING A SMUT! - trying. hope is gooood. w.c: 1.8k ~

---

Running into Joel Miller months ago was both the best and worst thing that ever happened to you. I mean… he helps you, he protects you… but he’s a fucking hottie. A goddamn delicious man. And you can barely get close! He’s so moody, so pissed off about everything. You're in the end of the world, of course… but damn. It’s not easy.

Most of the time, he doesn’t even understand how he ended up letting a girl like you tag along on this survival journey. You’re much younger, and despite being strong and brave, you can be a real pain in the ass. You’re chatty, you make him hug you when it’s too cold (okay, he secretly likes that part), and you stop in the middle of nowhere just to say things like, "Oh, look! A hummingbird!"

A pain. In. The. Ass.

And today was no different. As you walked in search of food, you looked at him intently, thinking about how damn annoying he can be sometimes—or how it’s a total waste for someone that beautiful to be so grumpy all the time.

And then… well, then something crossed your mind.

How long has it been since Joel last had sex?

Like… you haven’t had sex in ages, but you have your ways of relieving yourself. And you doubt he even jerks off. Maybe all this frustration, all this grumpiness, comes from that.

Maybe.

"Joooeel…" you hummed in that way he knew all too well. He just glanced over his shoulder, signaling that he was listening.

"Can I ask you something? I know you’re gonna get mad, but—"

"Then no. I don’t feel like getting even madder." He cut you off, his voice rough, trying to shut you up.

But that never scared you.

"Please! I’m gonna start begging…" you threatened, knowing full well he hated when you begged.

"Just say it!" His tone turned even harsher. "And if I get mad, you’ll go find something to eat by yourself."

"Oh, stop. You would never leave me—" you picked up your pace, walking alongside him now. "So… how long has it been since you had sex?" You tried to sound casual, like you weren’t dying of curiosity. "Or, you know… something like that."

He stopped. Abruptly.

Like you had just punched him in the face.

You blinked up at him, waiting for an answer.

"Why don’t you just mind your own damn business?" he muttered, narrowing his eyes in that way that only made him hotter.

"I’m just asking! If you don’t wanna answer, that’s fine." You shrugged and started walking again. Moments later, you heard his footsteps behind you, along with a deep, frustrated sigh.

"I don’t know, okay?" His voice came after a long silence, just when you were already distracted. "I don’t even remember the last time I touched someone like that. And I have no idea when I last felt something like that."

You just nodded. But now? That was your goal. You were going to fuck this man. No matter what. When? You didn’t know. But you would.

-

You let it go—for now.

But after that day, something shifted. Maybe it was just in your head, maybe not. But you started noticing things. The way Joel’s gaze lingered on you just a little longer when he thought you weren’t looking. The way his hand would rest on your lower back when he guided you through dark hallways or past abandoned cars. The way he sighed—deep, exasperated, but never truly angry—whenever you leaned too close, testing the limits of his patience.

And, most of all, the way he didn’t pull away. Not really.

Not when you brushed your fingers over his forearm while handing him his rifle. Not when you sat next to him by the fire, knees bumping under the weight of exhaustion. Not when you made those little jokes, the ones that pulled a rare, reluctant smirk from him, even if he shook his head afterward like he wished he could take it back.

And then, one night, it happened.

You’d just set up camp inside the shell of an old bookstore, a storm howling outside. The fire crackled between you, throwing soft shadows across his face. You could see every line there, every scar, every tired thing he’d never say out loud. He sat against the wall, boots planted on the ground, legs slightly spread. He looked exhausted. But awake. Watching you.

You sat across from him, hugging your knees, tilting your head.

"What?" he muttered.

"Nothing."

A pause. Then—

"Bullshit," he sighed, rubbing a hand down his face.

You grinned, slow and lazy. "I was just thinking... if you can’t even remember the last time you touched someone, then maybe you’ve just forgotten how."

That got you a look. A dark, warning glance that made your stomach flip in the best way.

"Don’t start."

"I’m just saying—"

"No."

You pushed up onto your knees, crawling closer, testing the waters.

"Not even a kiss, Joel?" Your voice was softer now, teasing but not cruel. "No wonder you’re always so grumpy."

He tensed, fingers twitching against his knee. "You—"

"You could just let me remind you."

His breath hitched. Just barely.

You sat back on your heels, waiting. Letting him think. Letting him decide.

And then—slowly, cautiously, like he knew he was making a mistake—Joel reached out.

His fingers traced up the curve of your jaw, rough and calloused. You didn’t move, didn’t even breathe, afraid you might break the moment.

And then he kissed you.

It was careful at first, hesitant, like he was relearning something he used to be good at. But when you sighed against his lips, when your fingers found the back of his neck and pulled him closer—Joel groaned, low and deep, and that hesitation snapped like a thread pulled too tight.

His hand slid to your waist, gripping firmly, pulling you into his lap without a second thought. The heat of him seeped into your skin, his mouth moving against yours with a hunger that made your head spin.

And just like that, you knew. You were right. He had gone too long without this. Without you. And you were going to fix that.

The kisses were getting more and more intense and desperate. You couldn't afford to waste time.

In seconds, your blouse was thrown on the floor behind you, exposing your lack of bra and earning a little smile from him that you had never seen before. Desire. He attacked your breasts like no one had ever done before. He massaged one, sucked, licked, and bit the other, while your moans were already too loud for your good. But fuck it. You almost cried when you saw him taking off his shirt on top of you, his strong arms now fully exposed, his chest too delicious to be true.

You pulled him back to your lips, which this time was even more urgent. Soon, you were completely naked and desperate for each other. "Are you sure?" He asked, lining himself up at your entrance. And you were already going crazy. You just wanted to be fucked. "Of course! Just fuck me, please." You begged and watched as his eyes darken even more – if that was possible.

Without any further warning, he pushed inside you. Both of you let out heavy sighs. He was big. Really big. But you were so wet that you didn’t even feel him pushing it all in. He didn’t move for a few seconds, as if he was savoring something he had wanted for so, so long. “I know you’re having a moment. But please, Joel! Move!” You whimpered, holding one of his arms tightly. You didn’t need to say anything else. You could feel every inch of him. Every vein. And how he was pulsing inside you. Your legs wrapped around him, pulling him even deeper, if that was possible. His moans were like music to your ears. Low, heavy. “Fuck, that’s it… That’s it…” You clawed at his back in a delicious way. He lowered himself a little more, just enough to pull one of your nipples between his teeth, taking you over the edge. And making you scream. The sound of the skin hitting each other was almost pornographic, making everything more intense with each moment. He grabbed your leg and brought it up to his shoulder. This new angle took you to an absurd wave of pleasure, Joel caressed you all over. Your whole body. And he stopped under your belly, just to show off and feel his cock there, filling you.

“You’re fucking delicious…” He murmured between breaths. “So fucking hot… I’ve always wanted to fuck that little pussy of yours. Always.” That brought you to your orgasm. Obviously. Joel fucking Miller telling you that? With that voice? Fuck.

Without a warning, you came on his cock, moaning his name and making him delirious. He was euphoric and ready… ready to fill you. “Can I?” He asked, about cumming inside. It’s not the best option, but at that moment it was all you wanted. And you would have it. “Please… Fill me up.” You whimpered again, holding your own breasts, which made him lose it. And in the next second, you felt the hot jets inside your walls. And then… Oh my. His expression. Completely lost in pleasure. He thrust a few more times and pulled out, only to look at your pussy spilling his cum. Totally filthy.

Joel collapsed onto his side beside you, chest rising and falling with deep, heavy breaths. For a long moment, neither of you spoke—just the sound of the fire crackling, the storm still raging outside, and the quiet hum of satisfaction between you.

His arm draped lazily over his stomach, fingers twitching like he wasn’t sure whether to reach for you or keep his distance.

You made the choice for him.

Rolling onto your side, you pressed your face against his shoulder, tracing light, absentminded patterns over his chest. His skin was warm, damp with sweat, and you felt the way his muscles tensed, then relaxed under your touch.

"Jesus," he muttered, voice rough. "You really don’t give up, do you?"

You grinned against his skin. "Nope."

His chuckle was barely there, but it was real. And you liked that. Liked knowing you could pull something soft from him, even now.

After a moment, he exhaled deeply and finally—finally—wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you in, letting himself hold you.

"This doesn't change anything," he murmured, his lips brushing against your hair.

You just hummed, pressing closer. "Sure, Joel."

You’d let him lie to himself for now. But you both knew the truth. This changed everything.

---

[akawifeyy]

cologne | fic (OP81)

description: wanting to prank your boyfriend, oscar piastri, you decide to spritz some cologne on yourself.

tropes: prank, established relationship

face claim: none

trigger warnings: mentions of cheating, suggestive content, swearing

| note: it’s a bit late but i wrote this in honor of oscar’s CHINESE GP WIN 😮‍💨 my icon and legend

It was just half an hour before your boyfriend, Oscar Piastri, would arrive home from yet another grueling day of testing. The papaya McLaren he loved so much was sapping up all his energy, and you wished you could get the old Oscar back. You had the perfect idea — the two of you loved to prank each other, so maybe this would be the way to go?

Standing in front of the mirror in your bathroom, you held the clear glass cologne bottle in your hand. It was your father’s, definitely not familiar enough for instant detection, but distinctly masculine.

You took a deep breath and gently sprayed, letting the smell waft over you. Eyes watering, you set it down, adjusting your shirt and plastering on an innocent expression.

Later, Oscar stumbled through the door, his eyes bleary with exhaustion. His muscles bunched with stress, but he looked at you just as lovingly as he did the first time he met you.

“Hello, darling,” he murmured. “I missed you.”

He pulled you in for a hug, arms cocooning you in his blissful warmth and comfort. A moment passed, and you felt him tense. Oscar pulled back, worry lining his face. “Y/N…What’s that smell?” He sniffed you again, confused. “Baby, I’m so — why do you smell like cologne?”

You cocked your head to the side. “What? I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You twirled around, walking into the kitchen to pour yourself a glass of water. “I think you’re too sleep deprived.”

“No,” Oscar said, following behind you determinedly. “I swear…”

You rolled your eyes.

“Did you go somewhere? Was someone with you in the house?” He furrowed his eyebrows. “If there was, you can tell me. I won’t be mad. I just want the truth.”

You shrugged, taking a sip of the cool liquid and letting it settle in your stomach before responding. “No one was here.”

“Y/N, if you’re seeing someone, I’d like to know.”

You froze. “I’m not seeing anyone, Oscar. Jeez.”

“You smell like another man’s cologne, you’ve been home alone while I’ve been away, and you’re really trying to gaslight me? I’m sorry, but I think I deserve to be a little concerned.” Oscar crossed his arms, staring at you with a cold expression. “I’m working hard to provide us with a life, and you could be sneaking around, with someone else? It hurts, Y/N.”

You scoffed, hackles rising. “So you’re calling me a slut? Saying that I’m lying? Fuck you, Oscar.”

“Woah, Y/N, I never said that,” Oscar shot back, voice edged with tension. You knew he hated arguments. “I’m just worried.”

“I’m not fucking another man.” You stormed away from him. “Thanks for the vote of confidence, Oscar.”

“Then why do you smell like another man?”

You threw your hands up in the air. “I don’t know.”

“That’s not good enough of an answer.” Oscar rubbed his hand across his face, clearly fed up. “I want to believe you, but…”

Incapable of keeping the prank going, because you knew doing so was the wrong thing to do, you huffed. “It was a prank.”

Oscar’s mouth opened as he processed what you had said. “Pardon me, darling?”

“It’s my father’s cologne.”

He blinked. “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Fuck, baby. I’m sorry for yelling at you, and accusing you of things you didn’t do.” Oscar stepped close to you, kissing you on your forehead. “I just love you, is all, and I thought… I thought maybe you didn’t love me anymore. That I wasn’t enough.”

You pouted. “You’re perfect, Oscar.”

“Sure.” He kissed you again, his hand resting on your jaw. “I really hope you think so.”

“I know so.”

─── ୨୧ ─── THE END ─── ୨୧ ───

[viasdreams]

Nightwalker ཐི❤︎ཋྀ ~ after route: mortality

My Hyuck,

Hello my love, how are you? I hope with all my soul that you're well, but if not, just blame all your feelings on Jaemin, just like when we first met. I know these days the two of you are close but he did try to basically kill me once remember?

I would say I hope Mark got this letter to you, but I know he did. He's very reliable like that, that's exactly why I trusted him with this. I feel so at peace knowing you have people like him surrounding you. Please thank him for me.

Okay, I have to write out all my sappy feelings now so I'll try my best to be serious, even though we both know that was never my strong suit. Pardon me if I crack a few jokes in this. I'll try to keep them actually funny, don't worry. How embarrassing would it be if I was unfunny from beyond the grave?

Over the years, you asked me a few times if I wanted you to turn me. I only ever responded with a shake of the head and never gave you an explanation, not that you ever asked for one. To be honest, even now I don't really have a reason for not wanting to. It just never felt right for me. I always waited for my doubts to leave me, but they never did. I tried so hard to want it Hyuck, I really did. Sometimes I wish I just did it. I mean, I wouldn't have to write this if I turned. But, that wouldn't be fair to either of us.

Thank you for staying with me through everything. I searched for reservations in your eyes as time went on, but I never found any. Even as our public-facing relationship changed from a young couple going out to lunch to a nice young man helping an old lady cross the street, there was never a hint of regret or disappointment toward me in your gaze. Only love. So much love.

If I were given the choice to go back to any point in my life, I would go to that night by the deli so I could relive every moment with you. Every ounce of pain, physical or emotional, that I went through to be with you was worth it. I'd do it all again in a heartbeat. That's something I have no doubts about.

Don't you dare read this and get all mopey okay? I know that's what you're going to want to do, but don't. Receiving this letter doesn't signify that the world ending, it's just the world changing, and that's okay. Everything's okay. You're okay.

You're the most amazing person I've ever met and I know you're going to continue to live an amazing life. Please continue living Hyuck. This is not the end. You have so much left to do, don't let my absence stop you. If not for yourself, live because I need something more entertaining to watch than Renjun and Jeno arguing in the nursing home.

I know I'm asking a lot for someone not there, but please look after Jisung for me. It hasn't happened yet, but I worry that Chenle is going to dull that boy's sparkle with his "Chenleness", so I need you to prevent that for me.

Writing this is making me reflect on my life and all my memories are overwhelmingly warm. It's not because I lived through intense global warming, although that definitely made my memories a lot sweatier. It's because of you. For such a physically cold man, you brought so much warmth into my life. My life was so happy because of you.

I love you so much Hyuck. My body might not be, but my love for you is immortal.

Thank you for experiencing life with me.

Thank you for loving me.

I love you.

Eternally,

Yn

hyuck finished reading your, now-framed, letter for the billionth time and slipped it back into his bag, careful not to crush the flowers he brought.

the weather, like it was every time he came to visit you, was sunny, making it hard for him to see his screen as he typed out a thank you text to mark. mark told him years ago that it wasn't necessary for hyuck to thank him after every readthrough of your letter, but you asked him to thank mark so that's what he was going to do. at this point, at least fifty percent of his and mark's text conversation consisted of thank yous.

with the text sent, hyuck made his way to his usual seat next to your headstone. he'd sat there so many times that the dirt had a permanent indent in the shape of his butt. he never dared fix it because he knew it would have made you laugh, if anything he tried his best to worsen the damage.

"hey beautiful," he greeted, "i got these for you."

he pulled the, slightly damaged, flowers out of his bag and switched out the ones from the last time he was there.

"i have so much to tell you, i don't even know where to start. oh let me tell you about the shit i saw jisung do-"

hyuck began, as he had done since the first time he read your letter, to tell you about how he was living his life.

masterlist ~ route two: immortality

a/n: i cried, you crew, we all crode T_T lowkey felt like i was actually on my deathbed writing to my lover </3 ALSO this isn't a bad ending at all 🙂‍↔️ sad does NAWT equal bad!! my bbys lived full happy lives, its just that now one is living for two <3

taglist (open): @miyawwn @nanaxwi @mystverse @mmoonlee @dudekiss3r @honeynanamin @haefelt @nneteyamss @iamsimplyasimp @roseangelxfuma @haechsworld @hyuck-me @catpjimin @toyoongg @sthwaaberry @kim-seungmins-gf @sunghoonsgfreal @sunflowerhae @galacticnct @slayhaechan @multifandomania @jasluvsjae @injunnie-lemon @swanyvess @hahaechans @aerivrs @kirbrary @akunoeyebrows @snowyseungs @keeryverse @alethea-moon @flaminghotyourmom @elsbunny @introvertatitsfinest @ypoom151999 @1starqi @emptynote @wonswondrland @smilefordongil @onlyforyoukook @gomdoleemyson @jaehyunandonly @kukkurookkoo @lampcults @nightcat101 @hyuckna25 @yanagisprettygf

(if the tag doesn’t go through, plz check your privacy settings ☺️)

[bookwyrmbran]

as another formerly-active person who caught it February 2020 before the lockdown, and am now housebound and largely bedbound -- you do not want this.

I used to hike 3-5 miles a day in hills and cliffs for fun; I was a semiprofessional vocalist; had just finished up two grad degrees and was supposed to start a doctoral program that fall. I had people over all the time, cooked all the time, avoided hair spray and perfume when singing but was otherwise in pretty decent health.

these days, I am lucky to cook something from a package once a week. I'm lucky if I make it into the backyard to sit in a recliner. my joints try to dislocate on a regular basis; I'm now a fall risk and sometimes can't use the microwave because pressing the buttons results in various finger joints subluxating. average fatigue score is 9. average pain score is a joke and I'm allergic to almost every prescription painkiller my docs have tried.

but these days I'm horrifically allergic to all kinds of things -- polyester and acrylic result in blisters. pretty much any airborne particulates set me coughing, synthetic fragrances and VOCs and bleach and hairspray are instant migraine if I'm lucky and my chest seizing up if I'm not. as bad as the pain and fatigue are, the skin and air problems are what really and truly lock me away from going anywhere -- do you have any idea how everywhere polyester and acrylic are? or one person wearing scented deodorant. someone else wearing lotion. the building air fresheners -- I wear a P100 respirator to and from the pain clinic each month and have to strip and scrub the second I get home.

I love academia. I love research, love teaching, love learning. it's always been easy and fun. it makes the brain fog and memory issues even more frightening than they would be otherwise. I forget appointments, to eat, to use the bathroom, which mug was from this morning and which was from days ago. every time the weather changes I'm in bed mostly unconscious (or wishing I were) for the day, longer if it's a particularly dramatic change.

if I catch it again --

if my family and friends, who do not mask, even knowing what it's done to me, continue catching it --

I try not to think about that.

believe me when I say that you don't want this. not for yourself. not for those around you. you do not want this.

"everyone suddenly seems really stupid and aggressive" its brain damage from covid

"im sick all the time now and everyone at work is sick all the time" its immune system damage from covid

"im sick again, but i tested and its not covid haha" its still probably covid, rapid covid tests have been estimated at 30% positive accuracy by researchers who are factoring in strain mutation and user error

"no one can drive anymore, what happened" its brain damage from covid

"why am i suddenly mentally ill" its brain damage from covid

"i started feeling weak, breathless, confused, distracted, irritable and in pain but it was a while after i got covid so its not long covid" long covid sets in a random number of months after your covid infection and also asymptomatic covid can cause it

"ive still never gotten covid, isnt that great" unless you are an undiscovered genetic freak (possible) or youve been living in a clean room, you have had a covid infection. it may have been asymptomatic

"im sick but its from blood clots, heart disease, asthma, nerve damage, narcolepsy, etc" covid attacks the entire body and can cause all of these things as downstream effects

"ive already had covid so i probably have pretty good immunity by now" covid does not work like this. the more times you are infected, the more permanently injured you will become, and the more vulnerable to further covid infections and infections of all other viruses and bacteria

"ive been vaccinated so im safe" covid does not work like this. vaccination lowers your likelihood of developing severe infection, it does not protect you from contracting the virus

"well what am i supposed to do" wear a mask

[no1blacksapphirefan]

Just found your self aware cookies. I love it. How would the ancients react to reader kissing their screen in the little cookie area(where you level them up and such) because this is something I'm a liiiiitle guilty of :3 (you can add the beasts if you want!!)

These requests were rather similar so here’s you go 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ ((TY!! I’m okay :D A5 Black Sapphire coming in my next 10 pull I can feel it in my bones))

Pure Vanilla seems like the type to be so bashful. He's a blushing mess as soon as you look away from the screen. Fixing his outfit, sure the hug isn't as effective due to the barrier of the screen, but he still felt it and the kiss.

As time goes on, methinks he's started thinking about what it would be like to actually kiss you. To actually hug you back without a screen being in the way. He tries to brush this thought off. He can't even get out...is there a way out?

He ignores the stares of other cookies as they see him get this affection from you, ahh he's so lucky to have you favour him so much.

White Lily is surprised when it started, don't get me wrong. She is not complaining. She loves the hugs and blushes a lot when or if you kiss her. But she is still getting used to how affectionate you are towards her despite her past.

She buries her head in her hands to cover up her blush when you first kissed her through the screen, unable to contain herself, and when you leave the game she can't help but smile. It's a nice feeling really, to have someone love you as much as you do, to have someone who doesn't ignore the horrible things she has done but still loves her.

Dark Cacao finds it weird at first. He can feel the hugs and kisses through the screen sure but he isn't too sure what to think when you first started other then...why?

He's scared of affection stop.

Eventually though, after days of you doing this he gets used to it, almost expecting it when you go to his cookie screen. He doesn't smile, well tries not to smile. He doesn't want to freak you out that he knows. He enjoys your affection a lot, it brightens up his day when you do so almost every time.

Golden Cheese As you should/j She loves it, you should do it more often. If she could encourage you to do it more often she would. Oh and she wants to reciprocate so much, but she can't.

She tries her best though, by trying extra harder in arena fights or just in word exploration. She'll win you as many trophies as you want to ensure a high ranking on the leader board. Just for you <33

Hollyberry She wishes there wasn't a screen between the two of you, she is so happy when you first start, to have such affection from you makes her so proud of herself. She doesn't brag to others or anything, or at least not intentionally.

She'll talk to her friends about what you've done with a happy expression. Sometimes she may talk about it too much though...she's just extremely happy to receive these affections from you.

Shadow Milk Huh? You wha- Did you just-

Those run through Shadow Milks head the first time you did it, sure he's always liked your attention on him and enjoyed the silly ways you show it but this...was WAY more direct then others. And you're still oblivious!!

Everytime you do it, he feels like he's gonna turn into mush, he's never felt this loved before. Having someone making him feel like he isn't actually alone and someone is there that cares for him so, it makes him all giddy and smiley. Though he'd rather die than admit that to certain people.

If people try to bring it up, he puts on his facade and brags about it, saying things like "As they should!~" and the sort. But once he's alone he can't help but gently smile, waiting for the next time you do it. Oh he's so excited to meet you one day...

Mystic Flour cherishes your hugs and kisses as if it were an actual physical object. As if they'll disappear. She didn't get it at first, these strange actions you did. It wasn't like she didn't know what it was. She's hugged her friends all the time in the past. Hugged Cloud Haetae before and kissed his forehead when he needed comfort.

But you doing it to her felt...strange. Maybe it was because she's so used to people asking things of her and not often getting thanks for it. She isn't used to you hugging or kissing her. She finds it oddly amusing that you still do it even while thinking she's still some code...because you still like her? Very well, she doesn't have any ill feelings towards your actions, the opposite. She looks forward to it every day, your hugs especially.

Burning Spice at first he disliked it, well he thought he did anyways. He's meant to be the Great Destroyer! Feared by many, you should as well-...oh but the hugs are nice...and the kiss- WHO SAID THAT.

Quickly though he grows to love them, he sees it as high praise for what he's done, especially as you're essentially a higher being. Oh he loves the affections from you, though he prefers the more "odder" ones, this is also something he loves.

He'll make sure to pay it forward as soon as he breaks out, he'll kiss you twice as much!! Hug you harder as well. You make things less boring when you're around after all, have to thank you for making things entertaining.

Black Sapphire oh he loves loves it. Doesn't matter if you do it because perhaps he did a good job in the arena or because you just like him. He appreciates every single little affection you have for him. From the hugs, the tapping to the kisses.

He might...just mayybbeeee broadcast what happened on his radio show, one of the few truths he'll have. He'd love to see some cookies deny this, especially if they knew he was known for his rumours. Others seemingly becoming jealous. He relishes in that, like "Yes, they did actually do that. They love me that much"

Overall, I think it'll slightly boost his ego if you did it, and consistently. His mic watching you as you're on the cookie screen, silently hoping for another hug or kiss

[thekhloediary]

Hate That I Love You

Nicholas Chavez x Reader

Hi guys! So I wanted to challenge myself and write a fic that was more than just smut (it’s still here lol) but with a lot more plot, slow burn, and fluff. What did Taylor say? It’s a love story. I really, really enjoyed writing this one and hope you enjoy it. Let me know what you think! -Khloe ♡

❝ Some feelings never go away…❞

I wanted him to tell me that he would always love me. I really wanted him to understand. I knew that I was breaking his heart along with mine, but I still wanted for us to be okay. If only we could have just been okay. Maybe that was unrealistic. Maybe it was just wishful thinking. I just know I never wanted him to hate me.

But what I wanted wasn’t what I got.

You’re so fucking selfish were the words that hit me hard. The explosive sound of the door slamming hit me even harder. It was the sound that rang through my ears and echoed through my heart long after he was gone. The sound that told me that we were really over.

And it was all because of me.

All because I chose my dreams. Why couldn’t he just understand that choosing what I loved didn’t mean that I didn’t love him. I loved him so much. But ever since I was a little girl in my first ballet class, all I wanted to do was dance. It was my joy, my passion, and when I got into the performing arts school of my dreams, it was no question. I had to go. But going meant transferring schools and moving across the country to New York. It also meant leaving him.

It had been three years since I left, and while I didn’t regret leaving, I still had those unavoidable moments where ‘what ifs’ occupied my mind. What if we never broke up? What if we had made it work? What if we were still together now? What if…

The truth was, I never stopped missing him. I had a lot of things that made me happy—dance, school, an exciting job, an amazing apartment, and a great group of friends. But I still felt incomplete, like a puzzle with a missing piece. No matter how much time passed or how happy I was in life, there was a dull ache in my heart that never seemed to completely go away.

I still loved him.

I probably always would.

He was my first real love—the one who I thought I’d be with forever. The one who was impossible to forget. I can still remember our first encounter like it was yesterday. I was 18 and at a college party that my best friend talked me into going to. I wasn’t much of a party girl and I rarely drank, but I decided to go with her, and it ended up being the best decision ever because I met him.

Nicholas.

The party was still going strong well into the night with no sign of ending anytime soon. I was ready to go, but my best friend had told me another hour, two hours ago. We shared many similarities, but when it came to partying, we were very different. My best friend was the definition of the life of the party, while I had a good time at parties, but I definitely didn’t party hard.

I was sitting on the couch with a soda when someone came and stood right in front of me.

“A soda?” he spoke, his voice low and teasing.

I looked up to see the most handsome guy looking at me with a raised eyebrow.

“What’s wrong with a soda?” I asked, glancing at the canned soda in my hand before returning my attention to him.

“It’s a party. What fun is a soda?” he smirked.

“Oh, I didn’t know beverages had fun,” I said with a small laugh.

He smiled and chuckled. “No? Have you not met beer? How about vodka? She’s a real good time,” he joked.

“I’m not much of a drinker,” I admitted with a shy smile.

“That’s cool,” he shrugged easily. “Be the exception.”

I couldn’t stop laughing. He was really charming and funny. And he was insanely attractive. He had the most perfect smile and the dreamiest brown eyes I’d ever seen.

“Mind if I join you?” he asked, already taking a seat beside me.

“Now what if I had said no?” I teased, turning to face him fully.

“You wouldn’t have,” he told me with a knowing smile. “You’re happy for the company. You and your soda looked so bored when I was walking past, I just had to come over. I would’ve felt bad if I didn’t.”

“Enough about my soda,” I laughed. “What are you drinking?”

“Rum and coke,” he raised his cup and gave me a playful smile. “See? I like soda too.”

I laughed again and then leaned in a bit. “Can I tell you a secret?”

“What’s that?”

“I’m not really big on soda either. I wanted a bottled water but there wasn't any in the cooler.”

He let out a disapproving sound and shook his head. “You’re killing me.”

“I know,” I pressed my hand against his chest and tapped playfully. “I’m sorry.”

I don’t know why I did it. It was a bold move touching him like that, but something in me wanted to. He lit a spark in me. He looked down at my hand and then back up to eyes with a smile that indicated he didn’t just mind it—he liked it.

And I already found myself liking him.

“So, tell me, does the pretty girl with the soda have a name?”

I blushed. “Y/N.”

He smiled. “Nicholas.”

That was how our love story began. I couldn’t imagine if I decided not to go to that party or if Nicholas didn’t come up and talk to me. The stars were aligned when we met that night; they brought us together, and every day for the next two years felt like a dream come true.

Then came the dreaded day when it went away.

Back in the present, I shook away the memory and gathered my things before leaving the dance studio where I worked. I had just finished teaching a class and didn’t have another until tomorrow. The rest of my day looked like rest and relaxation.

Before heading home, I made a stop at one of my favorite coffee shops. They made my favorite iced matcha latte, and whenever I was in the area, I couldn’t resist getting one. The aroma of freshly brewed coffee greeted me as I entered. It was a little busy with the afternoon rush, but patience was a virtue and their matcha was the best, so I didn’t mind.

After placing my order, I stepped aside to wait. I was scrolling through my phone when I heard the barista call out a name that made me look up. I nearly dropped my phone when I saw who was approaching the counter. My eyes had to be deceiving me. There was no way it was actually him. But the more I looked, the more I realized I wasn’t seeing things.

It was really him.

It was Nicholas.

Shock was an understatement. I was frozen in place, like a deer caught in headlights. I had no idea how to react, and it seems that Nicholas didn’t either when he saw me. He was visibly shocked and didn’t move for what felt like a long time. The barista called his name again and he politely apologized, snapping out of his trance-like state.

I know it was the last thing I should've been focused on, but I couldn’t help but notice he picked up two cups and wondered who the other was for. Was he seeing someone now? Of course he was. It had been three years and any girl would be lucky to have him. I was lucky. The thought of seeing him with someone else now hit me like a punch in the gut.

When my legs finally decided to move, I grabbed my almost forgotten matcha and walked over to Nicholas. My heart raced as I stood in front of him. He was still so unbelievably handsome, even more so now. How was that even possible?

“Nic?” I said his name disbelievingly, still trying to convince myself that it was really him. “What are you doing here? Well, not here in the coffee shop… I mean here in New York,” I rambled and suddenly felt like an idiot when all he did was stare.

I’m not sure what I was expecting, but this was the worst. Was he really not going to speak? Not even a hello? At the very least, I thought I would receive a greeting. This coldness wasn't something I was prepared for. Unsure of what else to say or do, I just gave him a small smile that he didn’t return. And he still hadn’t said anything. The silence was growing more uncomfortable, and I was seconds away from leaving when I heard an approaching voice that I instantly recognized as his sister’s.

“Y/N! Oh my God!” she exclaimed, her voice bubbling with excitement as she pulled me into a hug.

I hadn’t seen Nicole since before I left for school. We still kept in touch through social media, but we obviously weren’t close like we’d been when Nicholas and I were together. I knew through Instagram that she was getting married, and then it dawned on me that was probably why they were here in New York.

“Look at you. Still so pretty, girl,” she smiled.

“No, you,” I smiled back.

She grabbed one of the drinks Nicholas was holding and took an eager sip. “Hello caffeine. Exactly what I needed. This morning has been so busy.” She then squealed excitedly, “I’m getting married tomorrow!”

“Congrats, Nicole.” I said, genuinely so happy for her. “I know it’s going to be so beautiful.” Inadvertently, I looked over at Nicholas, who was now looking down at his phone with an expression that said he wanted to be anywhere else but here right now.

“Thanks, Y/N.” Nicole smiled and then her eyes suddenly lit up. “Wait, are you busy tonight? We’re having a bowling party instead of the usual rehearsal dinner. It’s gonna be a lot of fun. You should totally come.” She glanced at Nicholas. “We would love that. Right, Nic?”

“Sure.” He finally spoke, not even bothering to look up from his phone.

He didn’t want me to go.

I didn’t either.

But since she invited me.

“Okay,” I agreed despite myself.

“Great! I’ll send you the address and see you tonight.”

I gave her a parting smile before I made my way to the door. I couldn’t help but notice Nicholas still had the same tight expression on his face when he finally looked back up. With a heavy sigh, I pushed the door open and left.

It wasn’t too late to change my mind, right?

I should have and just made an excuse that I couldn’t make it. That’s really what I wanted to do, but later on when she sent me the address and expressed her happiness, I decided to go.

When I arrived at the bowling lounge, the party was well under way, with music and happy sounds of everyone enjoying themselves. I sent Nicole a text to let her know I was here, and she met me at the entrance a few moments later.

“So happy you made it,” she said, giving me a quick hug before adding, “I know it might not seem like it, but my brother is too, even if he doesn’t want to admit it.”

I wanted to believe it, but the earlier encounter with Nicholas in the coffee shop didn’t give me much assurance that it was true. I hoped for the best but anticipated the worst again.

We walked over to the bowling lanes and she introduced me to everyone, a few familiar faces. They were all wearing matching bowling shirts and reality struck me that although I was here, I wasn’t a part of their lives anymore, no matter how much I still wanted to be. Nicholas surely reminded me of that.

I spotted him talking with someone near one of the lanes. When I waved at him, he just gave me a quick nod and carried on with his conversation like I was nobody who mattered. He didn’t want me here, and it was painfully obvious. It was still hard to believe that this was us now. I remembered how he would look at me like I was the only girl in the world. Like I was the center of his universe.

Now he acted like I didn’t even exist.

As the night went on, I tried to just ignore how Nicholas was making me feel and focus on having a good time. After bowling, the party moved upstairs to the karaoke section of the lounge. One of Nicole’s bridesmaids had just finished a song when Nicholas headed towards the front. I watched him as he scanned the song selections and chose the one he wanted.

With a bright smile, he picked up the mic. “This is for someone special. She knows who she is.”

Was he talking about me? I suddenly felt nervous.

It didn’t take long to get an answer.

He looked right at me as the instrumental to Bon Jovi’s You Give Love a Bad Name started to play.

My heart immediately sank.

Like most humiliating moments, it felt longer than it actually was. The song seemed to go on and on, like a slow torture, my heart sinking deeper and deeper as Nicholas sang the song to me.

Shot through the heart and you’re to blame…

…you give love a bad name

I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. There was a gleam in his eyes, like he was actually enjoying this. I sat completely mortified, and even more so when it suddenly felt like every pair of eyes in the room were on me. I could’ve sworn that I even heard a few whispers. Then Nicole gave me an apologetic look that somehow made me feel even worse. Sparing myself further embarrassment, I got up to leave.

Standing outside the lounge, I fought back tears. Crying on the New York City streets wasn’t something else I wanted to add to my humiliation. The only thing on my mind now was why did I even come. I had never been more humiliated in my life. How could he do that?

I was reaching for my phone to request an Uber when the door opened and Nicholas walked out.

“So, you were just going to leave?” he asked.

Was he serious? After what he just did?

“Nicholas, please. Just leave me alone,” I said quietly as I walked off. I was embarrassed, emotional, and I couldn’t deal with anything more. I got maybe two steps before his hand closed around my arm.

“No.”

“No?” I shot him a look of incredulity.

“You heard me. No.”

“God, you’re a fucking asshole,” I told him as I reached my limit with the way he was treating me. Did he have to be such a dick?

He scoffed and let go of my arm. “That's a bit rich, coming from you.”

“Say what you will, Nicholas, but I have never done anything intentionally to hurt you. And I never would. That, in there, was fucked up.”

“Let’s not talk about fucked up.” he said, visibly becoming more agitated.

I sighed. “Nic, I’ve tried to apologize so many times. You never wanted to hear it. I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I know I left, but it’s been three years and I just thought—”

“Thought what? Thought that everything was good now?” He interrupted, letting out a humorless laugh.

Silence.

“You know what really kills me…” he said, running a hand over his face. “It’s the fact that after all this time you still don’t get it. How don’t you fucking get it?! It really blows my mind that you don’t get that it was never because you left but how you just blindsided me with a breakup.”

His gaze pierced into mine, his eyes filled with hurt and anger that suddenly broke something inside me.

“All I ever did was love and support you. How could you make a decision for me, for us, without even a conversation with me? You got your acceptance letter and then the next thing I know is you’re telling me we can’t be together anymore. That was just it. You want to talk about fucked up? That was fucked up.”

The more Nicholas released, the more I wanted to break down and cry.

Because he was right.

Because I’d hurt him.

Because I still loved him.

“Two years together and you just fucking ended it. Just like that… like it meant nothing.”

“No, Nic…” I started, the tears that I’d been trying to hold back falling. “It wasn’t just like that and it meant everything. Believe me, it was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I loved you so much. I didn’t want to end things.”

“Yea, but you did. And the way you did it…” He shook his head. “I deserved better.” He made a motioning gesture between us. “We deserved better than that.”

“I’m sorry.” I sobbed. “You’re right. I should’ve done it differently. I wish I did. But even if I had, Nic, tell me how it would've worked?”

“Maybe it wouldn’t have,” he admitted. “But I know I wouldn’t have given up on us without trying.”

“I’m sorry.” I told him again.

“Yea, you’ve said that.”

“And I’ll keep saying it until you believe it.” I reached for his hand. “I never ever meant to hurt you. I’ve spent the last three years still thinking about you.”

I felt a bit of resistance before his hand finally held mine. We stood there for a moment, just looking at each other, the weight of everything we’d said hanging heavy in the air. As I looked into his eyes, I watched him struggle with whatever was going on inside him. Anger? Maybe forgiveness? Did he believe me? I didn’t know, and as much as I wanted to ask, I couldn’t find any words. All I could do was make the most of this moment with him, holding his hand, not wanting to ever let it go.

Then I heard Nicholas release a heavy sigh.

“Why am I doing this…” he said quietly, more to himself than to me.

Before I could ask what he meant, he leaned in and kissed me, taking me by complete surprise. It was a kiss that, for a moment, was soft and almost hesitant, like he wanted to pull away. But when he couldn’t fight it, and when I kissed him back, the kiss became heated, a mixture of shared passion and frustration. I felt his hand move to the back of my neck, pulling me closer. Any thoughts of doubt and hesitation faded as our tongues touched and bodies pressed even closer. For a fleeting moment, it was just Nicholas and I again. No problems. No worries. Just us.

And then it was over. He pulled away slowly, his eyes dazed like mine, like we’d both just woken from a dream that once seemed so close, but now was so far away. Once upon a time, we were deeply in love, living our very own fairytale, and now, I’m not sure what we were—if we’d ever be anything again.

“I gotta get back in there,” he said quietly.

I nodded silently.

Nicholas looked at me, his deep brown eyes reflective, like he wanted to say more, but without another word, he turned and went back inside. My Uber arrived shortly after, and when I got into the car, I sank into the back seat and shut my eyes.

What really just happened?

The next day, I was still thinking about Nicholas and the unexpected kiss. I couldn’t stop it from replaying in my head. I wondered what it meant, if it meant anything. He had been so cold towards me and then… he was kissing me? I couldn’t make sense of it. My mind was racing with questions I had no answers for and thoughts I couldn’t escape.

I had just gotten home from work that evening when my phone chimed. I glanced at the screen, and to my surprise, it was a text from Nicholas. It was five words that stopped me in my tracks and made my heart skip a beat.

I need to see you.

An hour later, he was standing outside my apartment door. I had no idea what to expect after yesterday, but I was certain that I couldn’t handle things going left. I breathed deeply and silently hoped that everything would go right.

I opened the door.

“Hi,” I said, stepping aside to let him in.

“Hi,” he replied, putting his hands in his pockets as we fell into an awkward silence.

“Can I take your jacket?” I offered when the silence went on for a bit too long.

“Oh yea, sure.” He took off his jacket, handing it to me to hang.

“How was the wedding?” I asked as we walked further into my living room. When we were both seated on my couch, I noticed that he sat a bit closer than I would have thought.

“It was really nice,” he said with a smile that warmed my heart. “I’ve never seen my sister happier than she was today.”

I smiled back. “I can’t wait to see pictures. I know it was beautiful.”

Nicholas was quiet for a moment. “Look, I came here to say that I’m sorry for how I acted yesterday.”

“It’s okay.” I said softly.

I didn’t like what happened, but I knew it came from a place of hurt—hurt that I had caused. Maybe he just wanted me to hurt too. But I had already been hurting since that day when I told him we couldn’t be together anymore.

“It’s not okay,” he said. “I could’ve handled it better. I was, in fact, a fucking asshole.”

We both looked at each other after he repeated my words from yesterday and let out a laugh. Sharing a laugh with him felt good. I missed it.

I missed him.

“I don’t want you to hate me, Nic,” I said quietly.

“I don’t hate you,” he admitted. “I’ve tried to. I really did. But I never could. I think I hated that I still loved you. I was angry with you for a long time, and seeing you again brought it all back…”

Nicholas trailed off for a moment, trying to find his next words. It was a short silence before he spoke again.

“I felt angry about the past,” he said, letting out a deep breath. “But then I couldn’t get you out of my head, and all I wanted to do was kiss you. At the wedding today, you were the only thing on my mind. I guess it just hit me that the reason I could never hate you is because…”

The room fell silent again as he looked into my eyes. My heart was racing and my stomach was suddenly in knots as I anticipated what his next words would be—words that I thought I’d never hear him say again.

“…I still love you,” he finally said. “I don’t think I ever stopped.”

My heart nearly stopped beating and it felt like the air had left my lungs. The words echoed through my head, impossible to forget. Oh my God, he said that he still loved me. I almost couldn’t believe it was real. Was it real? Maybe I’d wake up to find it was all a dream. It sure felt like one.

Then it happened again, Nicholas leaned in and he kissed me. Only this time, it wasn’t unexpected. It wasn’t uncertain. It was the kind of kiss that said more than words ever could. It was everything that I had missed, wanted, and never wished to lose again. I could kiss him forever if I had the chance.

Kissing quickly turned into passionate touching, my hands roaming his body—over his arms, his shoulders, his back, the feel of him sending a rush of heat through me. I grabbed the bottom of his shirt, desperate to get closer to him, and he quickly pulled it over his head and tossed it somewhere behind him. My breath hitched at the sight of his smooth skin and hard muscles, the veins in his arms making my mouth water.

“Somebody’s been in the gym,” I smiled, running my hand over his chest and down his abs.

He smiled back, a sexy smile that was appreciative and assured. “Just a little something.”

“Not so little,” I teased, my hand traveling further down, stopping at the waistband of his pants.

Nicholas chuckled softly as he stood up to take off his pants, my eyes following his every move. He reached out to grab my hand, pulling me up from the couch and standing me in front of him. He kissed me again, deep and demanding, as his hands moved to lift my shirt and unhook my bra, both falling to the floor.

The feel of his lips on mine, the taste of kiss, the way his hands explored me—everything about the moment had my body screaming for more. I moaned between kisses, dripping in arousal. I felt his hands slide down my back, and then over my ass, grabbing it firmly, pulling me closer into him. With our bodies pressed together, I could feel him hard and ready. It sent a rush of anticipation through me so intense I nearly shuddered.

“Your room,” he said, his voice rough with want.

I reached for his hand and led the way. We couldn’t get there any faster. I needed this. I needed him.

All of him.

His body covered mine as he pressed me down gently against the bed. He wasted no time kissing me again, hands all over me, like we couldn’t get close enough fast enough. He kissed from my mouth down to my breasts and then further to my stomach. Each kiss and every touch had my body on fire. The years had passed, but the burning passion between us was still there, like a flame, burning intensely and nonstop.

“I can’t believe this is happening,” I whispered.

“I can’t either,” he whispered back, placing a kiss right below my navel, making my stomach clench.

Then his kisses went lower.

He held my gaze as he slowly slid my shorts and panties down. The intense look in his eye made me burn with anticipation.

“You missed me?” he asked, his hands pushing my legs further apart as he lowered his head between them. The feel of his breath against my skin was enough to make me quiver.

God, yes. He had no idea how much I missed him. How much I missed this.

“Tell me how much,” he pressed, kissing along my inner thigh. “Tell me how bad you want it.”

I wanted it so bad I was nearly desperate.

“So fucking bad,” I managed to say through breaths.

His mouth was so teasingly close.

“You know,” he whispered, placing another wet kiss to the inside of my thigh. “I can still remember how you taste.” Another kiss. “How you used to sound.” And then another. “How it would drive me crazy.”

“Nic, please,” I whimpered.

He didn’t make me wait any longer.

The first feel of his tongue sent a rush of pleasure surging through me, making me gasp. His mouth was always amazing, but now it felt even better than I remembered. With my eyes closed, my head fell back against the pillows and a soft, breathy moan escaped me.

“That’s it,” Nicholas groaned, his voice low and rough. “God, I’ve missed that fucking sound.”

I wasn’t going to last long. Not with the way he lapped at my wetness with his tongue, first soft and then with more pressure. Not with how his fingers moved inside me, stroking that sweet spot within. Not with the way he licked and sucked my clit, stimulating every single nerve ending. No, I wasn’t going to last long at all, each lick and each touch bringing me closer and closer.

“Nic,” I gasped. “Fuck,”

I felt it coming. He did too. His hands gripped my thighs, holding me in place as his lips closed around my clit and sucked in such a way that it made my entire body shudder. I didn’t just see stars, it felt like I was ascending to another dimension. It was beyond any orgasm he’d ever given me before. It was almost too good and I nearly cried in pleasure when his tongue didn’t let up and took me back into the stars.

Oh God.

I lay breathlessly, my body still trembling from the mind-blowing orgasm. I felt him press a soft, loving kiss against my thigh before he came back up and kissed me, his lips glistening with the taste of me on them.

“This is real, right?” I asked softly, a part of me still believing this was all a dream that I was going to wake up from any minute now.

Nicholas grabbed my hand and guided it down to feel him. Full. Hard. Ready. “I promise you it is.” he said just as softly, letting out a low groan as I stroked him gently.

“I’ve missed you so much,” I told him.

And then he slowly pushed into me, our eyes meeting when he was fully inside. One look at him and I knew he felt it too. How perfect this all was. How it wasn’t just sex but our love story continuing.

“Fuck,” he groaned. “You feel even better than I remember.”

And so did he. It was amazing, almost overwhelming, the intensity of everything I was feeling. His words, the sounds of his breaths, the way he hit every right spot in every right way, made me feel an emotion so strong it almost brought me to tears.

“I love you,” I whispered, meeting his every stroke with a rock of my hips. “I never stopped.”

We moved together in perfect rhythm. My walls hugged him tightly, pulling him in closer, wanting him to feel just how much I wanted him. How much I loved him. How much this moment meant. Each stroke of his seemed to convey the same thing as he thrust into me again and again, bringing me closer and closer. I was almost there.

A little deeper.

A little harder.

A little more.

And I was crying out his name, the pleasure rushing through me so intensely it left me trembling.

“Oh, my God,” I moaned breathlessly, my arms wrapped tightly around his back, holding him close.

It was at that moment that Nicholas reached his peak and a rough groan ripped from his throat as he filled me completely.

“I love you too,” he said, his body collapsing against mine.

Nothing could’ve felt better.

In the quiet moments that followed, Nicholas held me in his arms. With my head resting on his chest, I listened to the steady beating of his heart. Tonight had been nothing short of perfect, and all I could think of now was how I wanted to make it last forever. Where did we go from here?

As if he could read my thoughts, Nicholas pulled me closer and placed a soft, reassuring kiss to the top of my head. “We’ll figure it out together this time.”

His words melted my heart. Our love story was far from over. It was a new chapter being written.

This was just the first page.

Tagging all the Nic girlies I follow ♡ @oliviaambs @torikitten @anemoiars @iamsebastiansstan @fiftyshadeschavez @chavezwifeyy @nicholaslut @nickchavezs

[manytoonepoet13]

I am not saying that exploring the sexuality and gender of a character should be prohibited altogether. I've made it clear that shipping, having headcanons, and having your own interpretations of a character are absolutely alright. After all, these characters are for all of us to enjoy, are they not? And people enjoy characters, or just things in life, differently. If examining queer coding is a part of that enjoyment, then so be it.

But the main point of me making this post is to remind that, while yes, it's alright to have all of those, it shouldn't be focusing on only one thing. The reason why I'm pointing out Aventurine's "possible sexuality" as an example is because that is what I so often see, and I'm merely expressing my thoughts on the matter.

The key takeaway of this post is to remind of the fact that there is more to this character than just his "sexuality". And while it's alright to have creative liberties on how you view him, it shouldn't come at the cost of his true character. Think of the Disney remakes; that is how I view his character being treated. And the people I said to be akin to his abusers are the people who objectify and sexualize him and nothing else. If you don't consider yourself to be part of that group, congratulations, go on and continue to do whatever you do. But, if ever you are a part of that group, then I consider taking a step back and reflect.

While this may not be one of the more dire issues at hand, I do believe that it's still an issue in its own right. Objectifying and sexualizing someone, fictional or not, is, to some extent, unwelcome and unpleasant, depending on how far one took it, like when the character we're talking about is a victim of sexual abuse - I, personally, would avoid having the interpretation of him initiating non-consensual sex (like a lot of fanfactions). But I am well aware that a lot of people enjoy that, so I suppose I can't judge all that much.

I wish I still remember the account of this person, but once, I encountered this account when I had TikTok, and there, the video showed them showcasing a recent fanart of theirs. It's provocative, seductive, and revealing, but still a beautiful art nonetheless. One of the comments under that video asked the artist if they could draw the character in the same outfit but in a more provocative pose where there would be a visible bulge in his pants. The artist declined and said (this is paraphrased), "While I enjoy making these characters do whatever I want because I can, the two things I always keep in the back on my mind are 1.) Would the character be ok with this? And 2.) Would the writer/s want this for their character? And I believe that is a principle we should have, not just with fictional characters, but with everyone we encounter, really. It's so easy to get lost in our own opinions and personal interpretations that we sometimes think of them as the truth, leading to our view of a certain person or group being distorted. This is the issue I wanted to address that I hoped people would realize in between the lines. This is the reason why I made this post.

I can't keep silent any longer: Shipping, having headcanons, and having your own interpretations about a character is absolutely alright... so long as it doesn't compromise the true essence of a character. If not, you are creating a new character of your own, much like how Disney is remaking its classics with, more often than not, unnecessary and unwanted changes that disrespect the original intent of the source material.

To be fair, there's certainly nothing wrong with shipping characters; it's fun. I ship characters myself. But what ticks me off is when they're too blinded by their own delusions and headcanons for this ship that that is the only thing they focus on instead of the incredible story this character has been given by the writers. Shipping is good; mischaracterizing characters for fun is not. That is where I'm throwing hands. And this applies to both Aventurine and Veritas as well. Aventurine is NOT the submissive bottom gae man who's extremely helpless and dependent in your ships. And, no, Veritas is NOT the big boy dominant daddy or whatever the heck that is in your ships. (I'm aware that they're not the only case, but given that I'm within the HSR fandom, I believe this is the best example I can go with as of now.) Every single turn, I see posts saying, "Aventurine is soo gae, man." "He's gae for Ratio, and he's not even hiding it." "He's gae and a masochist," and it is incredibly frustrating because Aventurine's character is so much more than being the submissive gae man for their ships. And what's worse is that whenever they get called out or reprimanded by it, they begin throwing slurs and labels all around like they own it. (Yes, I've indeed blocked all of the accounts with the posts I see that I don't like, but there's only so much that blocking can do.)

I've not been in this fandom for long, but I can tell that the majority of its people only care about which ship is better and who's gay and whatnot. For once, can we just enjoy and learn about a character instead of focusing on who's gay for whom and who's not? The writers certainly did not spend their time painstakingly writing stories for these characters only for them to be thrown out to the wind like it's nothing just because they're too focused on their sexuality.

And must we forget what Aventurine has to go through?

(I found both of these on Pinterest, credits to the original owner of these posts.)

These are only a few examples of what he had to go through. This is barely scraping the surface of what he had gone through, yet a lot of people only care about his sexuality, whom he could be gae for, how good he could be in bed, and so on and so forth. But what about his resilience? His perseverance? His bravery? His intelligence? His thought process? His strategy? Time and time again, he loses a part of himself, yet he continuously picks himself up even if he is ripping at the seams, even if he doesn't have the will to live. He lost his family, his friends, his home, his kind, the light in his eyes, the ability to see himself as anything more than a product, a weapon, the ability to believe he is deserving of love, companionship, the ability to believe he is worth more than those 60 Tanba, and many more. Aventurine should be a source of inspiration for us, not this; this is too much. And if one continues to view Aventurine, Kakavasha, as such, then I must tell you this: You are no better than his abusers, assaulters, the IPC.

[nathanbatemanfucker]

Fault Lines Ch. 2

request: wanted to know if you could write something where the reader is a ex-winter solider (just like bucky, but maybe she doesn't lose her arm) and how she struggles to accept Joaquin. An overall angst to fluff.

pairing: joaquin torres x ex-super soldier!f!reader

contents: canon typical violence, illusions to abuse and torture, ptsd and other mental illness, enemies to lovers, angst

wc: 1,383

an: this series is based off of this request here! this is definitely a slow burn/fluff if you squint type beat so just bear with me <3

fault lines masterlist

The safe house is quiet, save for the low hum of the overhead light and the occasional rustle of movement from Joaquin as he leans against the wall opposite of you. He knows better than to box you in—that’d only make you more restless than you already are.

Post-meal and shower, you sit on his cot, arms crossed, gaze fixed somewhere past him like you’re already planning your exit. The space smells of antiseptic and metal despite the warm paint and comforting art. Someone had tried to make this as home-y as they could and failed.  

He doesn’t doubt that you are.  And you are. You’re on edge, always hypervigilant for the worst. That the two men in front of you that promise to stand on decency and honor are liars just like everyone else you’ve ever encountered. 

There’s only one door and a few windows, but you had immediately noticed the door under the rug in the bathroom. Its doable.

Sam’s outside, making calls, searching for loopholes to clean up the mess you’ve already made. That leaves Joaquin with what he does best—talking. But tonight, that skill is failing him.

Something about you is making the words sticky in his throat, unable to flow as usual. He doesn’t know what to say to you to make you understand, to make you change. Though he’s not really sure that’s his goal given what you’ve suffered.

“You look like you wanna be anywhere but here,” he observes, arms mirroring yours.

“What a shocking observation, baby bird,” you mutter, voice steeped in sarcasm.

Joaquin exhales through his nose, tilting his head. “Ok, ouch. But let’s be real—you could’ve run already. Hell, you could’ve fought harder. So why are you still here?”

Your fingers curl in your lap, like the truth will slink into your hands if you don’t force it out; it isn’t something you're ready to touch. You flex them once before stilling. “Just because I’m here doesn’t mean I trust you,” you say eventually, voice quieter, more measured.

“Fair.” Joaquin watches you, gaze steady. He hasn’t been able to take his eyes off you unless he has too– he chalks it up to your dangerous capabilities and nothing more. “No one’s asking you to, querida. But you want something. You can tell me what that is, I won’t use it against you.”

Something stirs at his pet name, something you thought was dead and rotted. Its easy to shove it back down in the wake of what you see is a lie. He would use it against you, that’s what everyone does. If he didn’t then Sam would. You know the game. 

You let out a breath, eyes meeting his. “You’re after Hydra and so am I. But I don’t trust that you’ll actually do what needs to be done. In fact, I know you won’t.”

Joaquin frowns. He knows what you mean but asks anyway, “And what’s that?”

“You tell me,” you challenge. “You really think you’re gonna dismantle them by playing by the rules? By arresting a few low-level pricks and calling it a day? Hydra isn’t just an organization—it’s a disease. One that’s smart enough to outmaneuver every cure. You cut off a limb, and another grows back.” Your voice lowers, darkens. “I go for the heart.”

Joaquin studies you. The shadowy certainty in your tone. The way your hands have curled into fists, nails pinching into your skin before you even realize it. He should be alarmed, maybe even afraid of you and what you can do with those hands. But mostly? He just feels tired for you and all the baggage you have to carry. He wishes there were more he could do more for you, but he knows the oath he’s taken. His values, his morals—they won’t be compromised.

“I get it,” he says, voice softer now. “You think we’re a waste of time. That we’re too soft.”

“You are,” you say, like it’s obvious and with no remorse. “Your Captain? He’s trying to lead a world that doesn’t even know what to do with itself. One that hardly wants him. He’s gotta play politics. Me? I don’t have to play anything. I owe nothing to no one but myself.”

Joaquin shakes his head. “That’s not a life. That’s a war you never get to leave. That darkness won’t let you go.”

Your jaw tightens, and you look away. You don’t deny it.

For the first time since bringing you in, Joaquin feels like he has something solid to work with. You know that your past is controlling you but you won’t let it go. With their help, you could finally be free. He lets you sit with his words, grabbing a water from the mini-fridge before settling across from you on Sam’s bunk.

Silently, he offers it. Begrudgingly, you take it, careful not to touch him.

“Look, I know what it’s like to be made into something you didn’t ask for,” he says. “To be trained to survive, not to live. And I know that once you start thinking like that, it’s almost impossible to stop.”

Your fingers tighten around the bottle, the plastic nearly giving out under the pressure. The sound brings you back to the present and you loosen your grip letting the bottle fall to the ground. Joaquin says nothing, letting you be.  When your eyes meet again, he can see that you recognize that. That you believe him when he says that he understands. You let it fade away as quickly as it appeared.

Joaquin presses forward anyway. “You don’t trust us? Fine. But what if we can help? What if we can end this without you burning yourself out trying to do it alone?”

You shake your head. “God, baby bird, you don’t fucking get it.”

“Then make me fucking get it,” Joaquin challenges, matching your energy. He hopes that in doing so you'll level with him.

For a moment, neither of you speaks. The space between you is heavy with something unspoken, pressing down on your chest. Your breath is too sharp, and his is too shallow, like being stuck in each other's gaze has sucked all the air out of the room before either of you could even think. You exhale sharply, pulling back, re-centering yourself just as another presence fills the doorway.

"There's a name," you mutter, almost reluctant. "One of the last remaining heads of Hydra. He’s been running a black ops division off-grid. And if you think what was done to your precious boy was bad, what they’re doing is worse."

Joaquin barely has time to process before your gaze flicks past him, landing on Sam, now standing in the doorway, arms crossed.

The two men exchange a look. “How do we know you’re not leading us into a trap?” Sam asks.

You scoff. “I’m not like them and you thinking I would walk you into a trap is like them. If you don’t believe me, I can happily do this on my own. And I wouldn’t have either of you slowing me down.”

Sam meets Joaquin’s gaze again; its pleading, laced with the idea of giving you a chance. A long beat of silent communication passes between them.

Sam rolls his eyes, exhaling reluctantly. He knows what its like to be an advocate, the one who’s seeing more than others. He’ll let Joaquin take his chance on you. “You’re lucky he likes you,” he mutters, jerking his chin toward Joaquin before turning back toward the door. “We’re wheels up in an hour. Try not to make me regret this.”

Joaquin looks back at you, and you could swear that you see some warmth in his cheeks. “That makes two of us.” He barely catches it—the slight quirk at the corner of your mouth. It’s smug, not quite a smirk, but it’s something. An attempt at humor. He softens again, seeing the effects of what Hydra put you through.

What had they done to you where you can’t even smile? Laugh? See yourself as more than just their pawn? The thought makes him sad, yes, but it also makes him angry. You deserve better than that.

“Three of us.” You shake your head, pushing to your feet. You’re tired of being cooped up. “Guess we’ll see.”

let me know if you'd like to be on the sfw joaquin torres taglist!

sfw joaquin taglist: @magikdarkholme, @plan3t-plut0, @mewmew222, @linnygirl09, @ezhz444, @karmaswitch, @badbishsblog, @glader13, @how2besalty, @happypopcornprincess, @hiireadstuffsometimes , @lisiliely, @spider-steve, @nolita-fairytale, @hrlzy, @faretheeoscar, @giuliahowlett, @abriefnirvana, @fanboyswhore9, @sidkneeeee, @sophreakingfunny, @heartbreakgirlism, @peachyxlynch, @lomlbuckybarnes, @a-randomscrub, @ajcs150, @glimodejun, @isuckatmath1998, @arsonhotchner, @sidkneeeee, @galaxywannabe, @retrosabers, @marchingicenotes7, @marroonwitch, @jaebugzz, @that-girl-named-alex, @bxtchboy69, @moonymeloncholymoney, @mischiefmanaged71, @something-random-idk, @dualinstinct, @alevanswrites, @articel1967

> ch. 3

[oraclemoontarot]

what type of streamer would you be and what would you get cancelled for? | pac tarot reading

from left to right, top to bottom -> pile 1, pile 2, pile 3, pile 4

pile 1

What type of streamer would you be?

cards pulled: four of wands, page of cups, sun, eight of wands, knight of swords

As a streamer, you would be quite successful and have such a wholesome bond with your chat/fans. There is this sweet, childlike and fun character to you that immediately draws people in. You may play fantasy or chill games, maybe some indie or a game like inzoi. At most, you may play games like valorant, final fantasy and stardew valley. Overall, you would bring so much positivity, warmth and energy - you may remember people from your chat and engage with them, creating a loyal fanbase. You'd always be excited to try new things and it would be so contagious. I also got that you would have a special name for your fanbase that just sticks - you would be insane at branding your streamer identity, making you easily identifiable and memorable, leading to a steady progress in gaining traction and fame.

What would you get cancelled for?

cards pulled: king of swords, five of wands, eight of wands, four of pentacles, seven of pentacles reversed

oops. It seems like you might have drama with a popular streamer. You were too impulsive when you should have kept your thoughts to yourself - maybe saying something out of pocket or an attack which doesn't end in your favour. You wouldn't be patient when you should have been, causing you to get cancelled. It doesn't help that this streamer was well respected and popular, so people easily jumped the bandwagon, not hearing you out, and choosing to defend them instead.

pile 2

What type of streamer would you be?

cards pulled: page of wands, two of pentacles, six of cups, moon, page of cups

As a streamer, you would be so fun, witty and energetic. You would create such a loving, friendly community, always exchanging conversation with your fans and they would appreciate you so much. It reminds me a little of the original youtubers who have their old fans look back on them with a sense of nostalgia. That's what you would have, you would leave such a gentle, lasting impact on your fans. You would be quite a mystery too, someone who doesn't share too much about their life, maybe even working full-time whilst being a streamer. Everyone would be so intrigued by you, possibly even theorising what kind of person you are outside of streaming. You may be popular in the just chatting category - reacting to things, doing q&a's, trying out recommended games - I am thinking someone like CaseOh, but more chill, or a genshin-like streamer, where they explore a game but spend most of their time interacting with their chat because, for you, building those connections with your fans is way more important. It's like you want to give them a nice experience and hope to brighten their day.

What would you get cancelled for?

cards pulled: seven of wands, five of wands, three of wands, moon, three of cups

Lowkey, this really is giving genshin streamer with the amount of friendship drama that happens online rather than in private. You may escalate the conflict and be a little hard-hitting, which drives people to feel a little uncertain about you. It doesn't help that you were already a mystery, so now people are confused further after seeing this new, unexpected side. People online would be a little hypocritical as these conflicts are normal amongst friends, though they did wish, despite it being entertaining, that this was kept in the DMs... Once this all blows over, some fans will either terrified of you or have a newfound respect towards you.

pile 3

What type of streamer would you be?

cards pulled: king of swords, page of pentacles, ace of pentacles, judgment, ten of cups

You would be very intelligent, detailed and witty as a streamer. You may be someone who gives people advice, maybe creating guides and completing games from back to front, getting all the achievements. If you do play games, then you would also be quite skilled and people would look up to you - you may join an esports team. Something of that level, where you would just continue to level up. Out of all the piles so far, you would have the biggest community of fans, someone who is well-loved and respected. You may donate a lot to your supporters, and receive donations back. You would be quite successful in the money department overall. You would also be the best communicator here.

What would you get cancelled for?

cards pulled: wheel of fortune, four of swords, nine of pentacles, page of wands, hierophant

Rather than getting cancelled, it seems like you would want to take a break from fame, finding it draining and preferring to just move on and enjoy the fruits of your labour, which would make you super excited. You would be happy when telling your community you want a break from streaming/content creating and your fans would be sad but would ultimately respect your decision. It seems like you would want to just enjoy your life, home, and maybe even pursue education or a traditional career path of some sorts. You may even settle down with a partner which is what gives you confidence in your decision.

pile 4

What type of streamer would you be?

cards pulled: eight of pentacles, knight of cups, ten of cups, nine of pentacles, high priestess

Can I just say, you would be the ideal streamer, pile 4. You would put in so much effort, possibly streaming every day and uploading content across various platforms. You would be consistent and that wouldn't go unnoticed by your community. Your fans would support you so much, finding a deep bond with you, like a family. Just like pile 1, your branding would be top-notch and recognisable. You would be the streamer everyone wishes for, the one who does all the little things for their fans. This could be acknowledging as much of the chat and donations you can, regardless of fame - as some streamers may start to ignore it due to it being too much. You would intuitively know what to do, what to say, how to act and what content would bring you the most success. It seems like, out of everyone here, you might be the most open to various games and content. This could be from cosplay, to different genres of games, maybe even doing things outside of your home, like irl streaming/vlogging.

What would you get cancelled for?

cards pulled: wheel of fortune, sun, king of swords, six of wands, page of wands

oops... Something unexpected, like from the past, may resurface for some of you. For others, fame may have negative consequences towards your overall image. You may end up saying something a little too bold, maybe a political take, or a personal opinion of sorts that rubs people the wrong way. Some may mistake you as being arrogant when that just isn't the case, it simply breeds from a place of jealousy. But, because of your success and strong, loyal fanbase, it seems like this cancellation wouldn't be of much significance, if any. You would bounce back and continue on with your streaming career as though this had never happened. Some people may bring this up again occasionally, but most people would be tired about it and start attacking those who won't let it go (which would be amusing to you lmao)

[jmliebert]

☆ Gale as Your Husband ☆

completely, utterly, and blissfuly under your thumb (and he wouldn’t have it any other way)   

not a soul will ever hear him utter a bad word about you

every single one of his students know about you. not by accident— Gale will find a way to work you into any anecdote, and always manages to speak about you in such a sweet manner 

sobbed when he saw you at the aisle 

remembers every anniversary 

call him your husband, even in a jest, and see what happens (it absolutely gets him. every.single.time)

will tell his friends he can’t make it because he “promised to spend time with his beloved” even if you never actually said so

when he’s out shopping (though not very often because he always wants to go with you), he’s always thinking of you. spices for your fav dish, book you might enjoy, a trinket he thought you would like…he jus’t can’t help himself

does everything you ask, no questions. if it makes you happy, he’s already on it

“where’s this? where’s that?" the number of times he’s misplaced things has you genuinely questioning how he survived before you

and when you find it, he will be like “oh, what would I done without my wife/husband” and kiss you senselessly 

if you argue, he’ll quietly take the sofa for the night when needed (though he would feel very lonely…) 

his students secretly poke fun at the way his cheeks flush whenever you surprise him at work with food or just to say hello (maybe because of that heated make-out sessions you do in his study after if time is kind) 

when it comes to your home, you’re the one in charge. want to redecorate? change something? by all means—he’d even live with the ugliest piece of furniture if it meant making you happy

because he really is all about making his other half happy :’) 

well, I think it's rather obvious but let me say it. Gale was made for marriage. he thrives in a partnership built on mutual support, on lifting each other up, on sweet talks, and kinky sex here and there

also a malewife 

even  after all these years, he still looks at you like you hung the stars in the sky. romantic love, yes— but more than that you are his best friend as well, someone who cares, someone who won’t cast him aside and a truly beautiful and courageous soul

the thought of growing old with you isn’t daunting—it’s something he longs for actually 

his best time? the slow, quiet evenings with you of course (let these moments be eternal, he wishes)

overall, a proud and loving husband through and through

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

hello! what would you add to that?

also! you can find more of my works about gale ♡here♡

[violetjedisylveon]

I like all your Macaques but what about one where he’s an asshole but doesn’t realize he’s one? Like he and Wukong are mates and Macaque does love Wukong but often coming out of his mouth are insults towards Wukong. He will at times say romantic things to Wukong but more often than not he’s insulting Wukong. Wukong rarely speaks ill of Macaque and often speaking the world of him.

At first, Wukong didn’t mind because he knows Macaque loves him but eventually it wears him down. Mates are supposed to help each stand tall but Macaque often puts him down. He doesn’t realize the effect it has on Wukong. He just think he’s helping Wukong not get a huge ego. And because both of them are horrible communication neither of them speak about what they’re doing.

And of course Azure realizes this and uses this to his advantage. He does what mates are supposed to do and gets Wukong to trust him and to stop trusting Macaque. It also works on getting DBK to trust him and making Yellow Tusk to believe he’s right. Is Azure acting like a homewrecker? Yes but honestly in his opinion, that house was on its last legs. So Macaque voices his feelings on the attack, no one really listens to the monkey.

Fast forward to the argument under the mountain, Wukong finally speaks his mind as Macaque is trying to leave.

“Some mate you are! Leaving your mate behind. Then again what else should I expect from you. Lousy mate.”

“I’m a great mate!”

“GREAT?! Great is not insulting me every chance you get! Great is not tearing me down every time you open your goddamn mouth! Great is actually being there for me without a look of contempt on your face!Great is not me wishing you would change! You’re not great! You’ve never been great or even good! If there was one thing I could undo, it would be having never mated you!”

So yeah, they may have loved each other but they were not healthy.

😢 ouch that one hurts.

Especially because he didn't intend to be that way and that's just how he is, probably with everyone, and because of their not great communication, Macaque wouldn't have been aware there was anything wrong. (Hits a little close to home too cause I'm really bad with determining what's okay and what's not okay to say and blunt as fuck and no one explains the difference between things that are okay and aren't because they look the same to me! so double ouch)

That last line hurts the most, because Wukong is the person Macaque cares the most about.

Can I fix it? I want them to be happy, I want to fix it I'm gonna fix it.

Macaque has 500 years of self reflection to realize and come to terms with his own asshole behavior and that he hurt the person he loves so badly that said person wishes they never met. Overcorrecting time!

If Wukong wishes they never met and wishes to never see him again, then Macaque will stay away from him forever. That's what he wants right? He can do that if it's what he wants, he can do that for him if nothing else.

So he disappears out of Wukong's life and maybe goes to find someone who can help teach him social cues how to be less blunt and an asshole because it never came from a place of wanting to hurt anyone, that's just how he was an no one corrected him until it was too late.

Macaque stays firmly out of the journey's business because he's trying to be better too and he can't undo all the progress he made and the promise to not ruin Wukong's life again.

Do they ever see each other again? Eventually but it's on accident.

Sorry I fixed it but I just want them to be happy and better (also think I projected onto this situation a wee bit too hard😅)

Thanks for asking

[helaegoncore]

Aegon cares for his children

Since, even after season two and Tom's interviews, I still see some comments from users who present the same old story "Aegon never cared about Helaena and their children!!", I thought to give here some precisions as to why this remark, in the book, is totally false (it is in the show as well, but this is another matter, since book!Aegon is very different from show!Aegon for some aspects).

1) I often say this, but I am keeping doing it: Aegon and Helaena shared a bed. You don't share a bed with someone you don't care about, expecially in medieval times, where it was customary for couples to sleep in separate rooms. The exception rather was to sleep in the same room. This is valid also for ASOIAF. Eddard and Catelyn, despite loving each other, slept in separate rooms, and Viserys and Alicent as well, just to make a few examples.

2) Immediately after Blood and Cheese, Aegon is described as "in pain and fury". As a result of this, as in the show, he gives orders to kill all the ratcatchers in the city. Later, he also expresses his wish to "avenge the murder of his heir at the hands of Blood and Cheese", wanting to personally fly on Dragonstone to seize Rhaenyra and her sons. It took the intervention of the ENTIRE Green Council to dissuade him. Does this sound as the reaction of a parent who doesn't care for their child? Quite the opposite.

Also, Rook's Rest is the result, in the book, of his desire for revenge, thought by Criston Cole INVOLVING Aegon, and with his full approval and consent.

3) Aegon realises that Helaena is unfortunately no longer able to take care of Maelor after the tragedy, so he entrusts the child to Alicent. If Aegon had been neglectful of his children, he certainly wouldn't have noticed this and wouldn't have taken steps to ensure that his child was well cared for.

4) When Rhaenyra takes King's Landing, despite it all happens very quickly, Aegon sends away also his children, Maelor and Jaehaera, entrusting them to two King's Guards. This one actually was one of the worst changes in the show. Aegon would have never let his children in the city in the book. The fact they left Jaehaera in King's Landing in HotD is their new attempt to show Aegon as a "neglectful father" when huh, guess what? There isn't any evidence of it in the books.

As for the show, Tom (who, unlike other actors, I remind you read F&B) often pointed out in many interviews how Aegon is proud of BOTH his children (Maelor doesn't exist here and this pisses me off a lot), and how he used to present them to court, etc.. He also refers about Helaena and the children as to "the sanctity of my family". The fact the show didn't include any scene between Aegon and Jaehaera is actually a new proof of bad writing (as it is the fact Jaehaerys never shares a scene with Helaena!! It was all orchestrated from the writers in order to sideline Helaegon and TG as much as possible). It proves nothing about Aegon being this supposed "neglectful parent" TB stans wished he was. We literally never saw them interacting - they didn't even care to spell out Jaehaera's name, for what matters. So it is really fool to jump to conclusions for something that isn't even been adressed in the show, expecially when Tom said otherwise multiple times.

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Hello there!

I woud like to know what do you think about Luna and Harry's relationship?

I think they have a beautifull bond

Hello 👋

Personally, I really like what we see of their friendship, and I kinda wish we'd have gotten more.

Like, Luna isn't Harry's closest confidante, that title goes to Ron and Hermione. She isn't his family the way they are, but Luna has a special place among Harry's friends — the understander. She is the character who sympethises and understands Harry's grief and trauma best and actually improves his mood in the books.

Since the onset, she was set up that way, with both of them seeing Thestrals when the others couldn't, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

I'll also say Harry is more important to Luna, than Luna is to Harry, in the books. Since she has way fewer close friends than he does. (I don't think Ginny and Luna are particularly good friends) so it makes sense their friendship would mean more to her. But the way Harry cares about Luna is very precious to me regardless.

Like, at first he thinks she's wierd and Loony. I mean, Harry was told all his life that weird = bad at the Dursleys. But, Luna grows on him quite quickly, I think. He doesn't mind that she's weird, later on (which is what I'm going to talk about mostly).

He finds her odd creatures and tales engaging and is actually open-minded enough to listen to them and consider them. Even though he says he has no interest in asking her about nargles:

“Mistletoe,” said Luna dreamily, pointing at a large clump of white berries placed almost over Harry’s head. He jumped out from under it. “Good thinking,” said Luna very seriously. “It’s often infested with nargles.” Harry was saved the necessity of asking what nargles were by the arrival of Angelina, Katie, and Alicia. 

(OotP)

He clearly remembers and thinks about everything Luna tells him: “Yeah,” said Harry. His mouth was very dry. “It’s probably full of nargles, though.” “What are nargles?” “No idea,” said Harry. She [Cho] had moved closer. 

(OotP)

Like, he wasn't sure he wanted to hear what they were, but Harry would've asked her what nargles are. Like, I find the phrasing really weird and underhanded cause, like, no one is forcing him to ask... and Harry, while polite, by OotP he doesn't go out of his way to be nice to people as much, so I do find it interesting.

Not to mention, he remembered Nagrals hide in Mistletoe from the one time Luna mentioned it offhandedly (and recalled it when Cho was flirting with him, for some reason). Contrary to him forgetting Ginny was possessed:

“Well, that was a bit stupid of you,” said Ginny angrily, “seeing as you don’t know anyone but me who’s been possessed by You-Know-Who, and I can tell you how it feels.” Harry remained quite still as the impact of these words hit him. Then he turned on the spot to face her.

(OotP)

Even just after their first meeting, Harry is inclined to belive her, despight what Ginny and Hermione say about Luna:

“Oh, for heaven’s sake, Harry, you can do better than her,” said Hermione. “Ginny’s told me all about her, apparently she’ll only believe in things as long as there’s no proof at all. Well, I wouldn’t expect anything else from someone whose father runs The Quibbler.” Harry thought of the sinister winged horses he had seen on the night he had arrived and how Luna had said she could see them too. His spirits sank slightly. Had she been lying?

(OotP)

He wants to believe she didn't lie becouse he liked her and her words about seeing the horses too comforted him. It's Hermione and Ginny who sour his opinion on Luna and whom call her Loony (Harry does too in response. I think I mentioned in the past Harry tends to mirror his friends, especially Ron, a lot).

He thinks the way she can be herself without a care is brave, and he really respects her for that and is even entertained by her antics:

“That’s her,” he said, pointing at Luna, who was still dancing alone, waving her arms around her head like someone attempting to beat off midges. “Vy is she doing that?” asked Krum. “Probably trying to get rid of a Wrackspurt,” said Harry, who recognized the symptoms. Krum did not seem to know whether or not Harry was making fun of him.

(DH)

Harry isn't making fun of Victor, nor is he making fun of Luna. He actually respects her and doesn't mind her oddities.

Harry could hear Luna’s ludicrous lion hat roaring amidst the Gryffindor cheers and felt heartened; only thirty points in it, that was nothing, they could pull back easily.

(OotP)

He likes Luna's silly lion hat, and it makes him more positive and hopeful about the game. Again, Luna is often associated with cheering Harry up.

Harry, who thought it most unlikely that Rufus Scrimgeour was a vampire, but who was used to Luna repeating her father’s bizarre views as though they were fact, did not reply; they were already approaching Slughorn’s office and the sounds of laughter, music, and loud conversation were growing louder with every step they took.

(HBP)

And unlike Hermione (and sometimes Ron and Neville), he doesn't feel the need to correct Luna or start arguing with her over everything that comes out of her mouth. Even when he thinks it's really unlikely. He thinks it's unlikely and bizarre, but he doesn't shut down the concept completely, the way Hermione would have.

And he speaks to Luna with respect to her views even when he disagrees with them:

Ron, passing them in the opposite direction, let out a loud snort. “Ron can laugh,” said Luna serenely as Harry led her and Xenophilius toward their seats, “but my father has done a lot of research on Gernumbli magic.” “Really?” said Harry, who had long since decided not to challenge Luna or her father’s peculiar views. “Are you sure you don’t want to put anything on that bite, though?”

(DH)

And he respects and appreciates her uniqueness and ability to say the uncomfortable truths out loud:

“She’s a bit upset,” said Luna. “I thought at first it was Moaning Myrtle in there, but it turned out to be Hermione. She said something about that Ron Weasley. . . .” “Yeah, they’ve had a row,” said Harry. “He says very funny things sometimes, doesn’t he?” said Luna, as they set off down the corridor together. “But he can be a bit unkind. I noticed that last year.” “I s’pose,” said Harry. Luna was demonstrating her usual knack of speaking uncomfortable truths; he had never met anyone quite like her. “So have you had a good term?”

(HBP)

He considers her tough enough to survive Azkaban with her own spirit and optimism:

“Then she’ll be in Azkaban, I expect,” said Ron. “Whether she survives the place, though ... Loads don’t. ...” “She will,” said Harry. He could not bear to contemplate the alternative. “She’s tough, Luna, much tougher than you’d think. She’s probably teaching all the inmates about Wrackspurts and Nargles.”

(DH)

Like, he really respects her, you know? And I think that's rare for Luna to experience.

He is protective over her as he is over all his friends:

An odd feeling rose in Harry — an emotion quite different from the anger and grief that had filled him since Sirius’s death. It was a few moments before he realized that he was feeling sorry for Luna. “How come people hide your stuff?” he asked her, frowning. “Oh . . . well . . .” She shrugged. “I think they think I’m a bit odd, you know. Some people call me ‘Loony’ Lovegood, actually.” Harry looked at her and the new feeling of pity intensified rather painfully.

(OotP)

“Hi, Harry, I’m Romilda, Romilda Vane,” she said loudly and confidently. “Why don’t you join us in our compartment? You don’t have to sit with them,” she added in a stage whisper, indicating Neville’s bottom, which was sticking out from under the seat again as he groped around for Trevor, and Luna, who was now wearing her free Spectrespecs, which gave her the look of a demented, multicolored owl. “They’re friends of mine,” said Harry coldly.

(HBP)

And he isn't as willing to be rude to Luna as he is to Ginny:

“Never you mind,” said Harry roughly. Ginny raised her eyebrows. “There’s no need to take that tone with me,” she said coolly. “I was only wondering whether I could help.” “Well, you can’t,” said Harry shortly. “You’re being rather rude, you know,” said Luna serenely. Harry swore and turned away. The very last thing he wanted now was a conversation with Luna Lovegood

(OotP)

He knows if he's dragged into a conversation with Luna it'd take precious time he doesn't think he has. But I think it's interesting how downright rude he's being to Ginny, but with Luna, he is swearing generally and just turning away instead of being angry at her. It's that calming effect she has.

And he just genuinely likes Luna and her company:

“How would you like to come to Slughorn’s party with me tonight?” The words were out of Harry’s mouth before he could stop them; he heard himself say them as though it were a stranger speaking. Luna turned her protuberant eyes upon him in surprise. “Slughorn’s party? With you?” “Yeah,” said Harry. “We’re supposed to bring guests, so I thought you might like . . . I mean . . .” He was keen to make his intentions perfectly clear. “I mean, just as friends, you know. But if you don’t want to . . .” He was already half hoping that she didn’t want to. “Oh, no, I’d love to go with you as friends!” said Luna, beaming as he had never seen her beam before. “Nobody’s ever asked me to a party before, as a friend! Is that why you dyed your eyebrow, for the party? Should I do mine too?”

(HBP)

He invites her to Slughorn's party on impulse. He likes talking to her (as friends, I don't think he likes her romantically) and yeah, Harry's more concerned with how he appears to others than Luna, that's the regret part I bolded. He doesn't want to look weird, but he doesn't actually mind that Luna is weird; he just cares about how he himself appears. But, as I said, I think he appreciates how Luna has the courage to be herself in a way he doesn't.

Luna had decorated her bedroom ceiling with five beautifully painted faces: Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and Neville. They were not moving as the portraits at Hogwarts moved, but there was a certain magic about them all the same: Harry thought they breathed. What appeared to be fine golden chains wove around the pictures, linking them together, but after examining them for a minute or so, Harry realized that the chains were actually one word, repeated a thousand times in golden ink: friends . . . friends . . . friends . . . Harry felt a great rush of affection for Luna. He looked around the room. There was a large photograph beside the bed, of a young Luna and a woman who looked very like her. They were hugging. Luna looked rather better-groomed in this picture than Harry had ever seen her in life. The picture was dusty. This struck Harry as slightly odd. He stared around.

(DH) - this scene always struck me as super sad. While I like Harry's friendship with Luna, their friendship is more important to her than to him (same for all the other faces she painted). At least, Harry knows Luna well enough to know she's missing from just glancing around her room. (But he couldn't tell Ginny was "cut up" about him breaking up with her).

Luna is his go-to person when he's feeling like shit. When he feels raw and sad and has no idea what to do with his emotions, Luna is repeatedly shown to be the one to help him through his darker emotions the most:

Harry nodded curtly, but found that for some reason he did not mind Luna talking about Sirius. He had just remembered that she too could see thestrals. [...] But I’ve still got Dad. And anyway, it’s not as though I’ll never see Mum again, is it?” “Er — isn’t it?” said Harry uncertainly. She shook her head in disbelief. “Oh, come on. You heard them, just behind the veil, didn’t you?” “You mean . . .” “In that room with the archway. They were just lurking out of sight, that’s all. You heard them.” They looked at each other. Luna was smiling slightly. Harry did not know what to say, or to think. Luna believed so many extraordinary things . . . yet he had been sure he had heard voices behind the veil too. . . . “Are you sure you don’t want me to help you look for your stuff?” he said. “Oh no,” said Luna. “No, I think I’ll just go down and have some pudding and wait for it all to turn up. . . . It always does in the end. . . . Well, have a nice holiday, Harry.” “Yeah . . . yeah, you too.” She walked away from him, and as he watched her go, he found that the terrible weight in his stomach seemed to have lessened slightly.

(OotP)

After a while, exhausted and drained, Harry found himself sitting on a bench beside Luna. “I’d want some peace and quite, if it were me,” she said. “I’d love some,” he replied. “I’ll distract them all,” she said. “Use your Cloak.” And before he could say a word she cried, “Oooh, look, a Blibbering Humdinger!” and pointed out of the window. Everyone who heard looked around, and Harry slid the Cloak up over himself, and got to his feet.

(DH)

And, I think it's because she has a personality and life experience that Harry in his grief just clicks with better. Ron and Hermione are both very verbal people. They manage their emotions through talking them out, Harry... Harry doesn't do that. He struggles opening up to people, and he tends to go quiet when he's upset (here & here). Luna’s quiet comfort, her ability to talk, and not to expect Harry to respond back if he doesn't want to, I think, just gives Harry what he needs to feel better and work through his emotions.

In many of Luna and Harry's conversations, he listens while she talk,s and she never pressures him to have something to say the way Ron and Hermione sometimes do (turning to him and prompting him to respond). And I think it's something that is very comfortable to Harry, who is not a very talkative person outside his head.

And Luna, doesn't treat Harry like he's the Boy Who Lived, she treats him like Harry straight away:

“Yes,” said Luna dreamily, without taking her eyes off Harry. “Yes, it was quite enjoyable, you know. You’re Harry Potter,” she added. “I know I am,” said Harry. Neville chuckled. Luna turned her pale eyes upon him instead. “And I don’t know who you are.” “I’m nobody,” said Neville hurriedly. “No you’re not,” said Ginny sharply. “Neville Longbottom — Luna Lovegood. Luna’s in my year, but in Ravenclaw.” “Wit beyond measure is man’s greatest treasure,” said Luna in a singsong voice. She raised her upside-down magazine high enough to hide her face and fell silent. Harry and Neville looked at each other with their eyebrows raised. Ginny suppressed a giggle.

(OotP)

She treats him the same as she treats Neville and Ginny. She mentioned his name because she knew he is, it's just Luna being straightforward. She doesn't really care he's The Harry Potter.

And that's something that's incredibly important to Harry, who just wants to feel normal. And it makes sense Luna, who is objectively not normal, makes Harry feel the normalcy and belonging he always lacks — becouse she's a walking statement saying "it's okay to be weird it doesn't make you a freak". Luna’s very existence is the most anti-Dursley you could be.

Not only is she a witch, but she's a witch who goes against wizard social norms. Petunia would have a heart attack from seeing Luna’s clothes and jewelry. And I think that's also something Harry likes about Luna, once he gets over the initial shock and what Ginny & Hermione tell him about her.

As for what Luna thinks about Harry:

I think she genuinely looks up to him in a way. She painted him in her friends mural, so she clearly appreciates his friendship and everything he does, and invites her on:

“I enjoyed the meetings too,” said Luna serenely. “It was like having friends.” This was one of those uncomfortable things Luna often said and which made Harry feel a squirming mixture of pity and embarrassment.

(HBP)

The embarrassment is for just how straightforward she is. Harry has referred to her as his friend by this point, but she constantly says the sort of things he'd never dream of saying, even if they were true.

So, yeah.

Again, they are not as close as the Golden Trio, but Luna has a unique position in Harry's mind that I find interesting, and I think their dynamic is fun. I think Harry understands Luna better than all her other friends, and that Luna understands Harry better than most characters in the series.

I mean, she does recognize him when even Ginny, Ron, and Hermione wouldn't have if they didn't already know it was him:

He led a party of warlocks into the marquee as Luna rushed up. “Hello, Harry!” she said. “Er—my name’s Barny,” said Harry, flummoxed. “Oh, have you changed that too?” she asked brightly. “How did you know—?” “Oh, just your expression,” she said. Like her father, Luna was wearing bright yellow robes, which she had accessorized with a large sunflower in her hair. Once you got over the brightness of it all, the general effect was quite pleasant.

(DH) - and Luna's fashion choices got a compliment from Harry! He's pretty judgmental, especially with weird wizard clothes (he makes fun of Dumbledore's robes regularly), so I trust him. She looked nice.

So, yeah. I like their friendship (and Luna, in general. She's probably my favorite female character in HP).

[abottleofkarlheinz]

while we're on the topic of how dl fans like to ignore how actually fucked up their favs are can we also talk about the double standards they have especially with characters like cordelia. like when are ayato and laito stans gonna stop being so scared to talk about how they aren't any better than her?? and i'm saying that as a diehard ayato stan lmfao like laito could literally be a serial rapist and ayato is one of the most physically and emotionally abusive boyfriends you could have 😭 this has always bugged me so much not the hating on cordelia but how people never hold the diaboys to the same standard

[I was gonna answer this yesterday but I forgot 💀 sorry anon]

I think I talked about something like this before on here a few years ago and my opinion hasn't changed much or at all, so basically my thoughts are:

You're obviously correct about how horrible those two are and I personally share your opinion on them not being much better than her.

That being said this is an otome game and the focus is on the LIs so I'm not really surprised by the double standards or favoritism, I feel like that's just a standard reaction to any main characters in any fandom (whether those main characters are good or horrible people). The diaboys are basically there to be romanced/thirsted after by the group the game is targeted towards to (masochistic women) so of course the fandom is going to care more for them than cordelia, or any non LI character. Plus all of the other family members of the boys are kinda made to be antagonists in the game, so it's really a matter of perspective. The boys are main characters in their respective routes and we find out a lot about them so it's easier to sympathize. Like we see their thoughts and personalities way more than those of the mothers or karl so it's easier to care. It's just that the antagonists are not as complex. [Not that I believe that the LIs themselves are too complex even tho a lot of the fandom would disagree, but rejet has to many changes from game to game for the characters to be completely consistent, plus the plot has more holes than a fucking swiss cheese. But honestly it doesn't matter, this game's in not really a philosophical work on the consequences of child abuse it's just a thrasy otoge about vamps]

What I have a problem with is when they try to pass some sort of moral judgment. Like the LIs are literally not all that better that most of the antagonist and "they changed" is not a valid argument (and even when they change they're still not really good partners by any normal standards). Plus the only reason they changed is because of yui/mc, so who's to say that the other charas would not change too if they had someone like her?

I think the other reason it's so hard for people to like karl and the moms, specifically cordelia, is cause the bad shit they did was towards their own family, so there's the added factor of "damn they were that horrible to their own blood" and I totally get that, but.....when you remove those feelings and look at it a bit more objectively, the damage they did to the other sacrificial brides is not any better, honestly some may say it's even more cause they straight up murked them. like they're dead, gone bro. no returning lmao.

But I guess my overall opinion on the topic is that I don't care that much.

Like obviously I wish more people would openly talk about how truly morally corrupt and disgusting the boys are and just admit that they like them as that cause this is fiction and it doesn't matter. And obviously I see the fans who refuse to as hypocrites, but also I just don't wanna try to change anyone's opinion. If someone tries to tell me one is way worse than the other and I can't like who I like I'll just tell them to fuck off my blog and keep it pushing.

Sorry for yapping, I just wanted to say as much as I can about this cause I will most likely not be answering anything about this topic again. Not because I minded this ask, but because I think there's no need to repeat myself any further, plus I do feel like the fandom has gotten a bit better now in regards to this matter then it was before. I remember seeing actually insane people in this fandom back in 2015-2019. I'm old (22)

[svt-kiki]

( 🩹 ) 𝐈𝐃𝐎𝐋𝐒 𝐖𝐇𝐎 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐀 𝐂𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐇 𝐎𝐍 𝐊𝐈𝐊𝐈　　⌅ .

✦　𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐊　/　confirmed

mark has a biggest ( celebrity ) crush on her ever since. for him, kiki is like a cool cousin that sometimes visit their places to hang out with his brother ( yuta ) and always sees her one of the coolest sunbae in the industry. it was hinted in radio and variety shows here and there, but expect the members people don’t really know the details since he even hesitated to call her noona.

the moment it went out to the public was isac in 2019, while kiki and yuta being besties as always, mark just being so blushy and shy all along. he even keep certain distance between them, tried to runaway at instance when kiki tried to reach him and say hi. nct boys are there for teasing him down to hell ( send this poor boy help 😔 ). his little dream was collaborating with her officially one day, and it came true when she gladly accepted the offer to be featured on his solo “fraktsiya” and directed the mv as well.

✦　𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐊𝐘𝐔𝐍　/　unconfirmed ... ?

seems like we all know he would be in this list isn’t it… while mariah singing boy why are you obsessed with me he be like yeah why am i obsessed with her i do wanna know — kikyun lore is a bit complicated. they’re good friends ( with a good bed chem indeed ) and doing good with all of platonic communication and stuff, but the way he is literally captured by her, dream about her, obsessed with her — it’s a bit unhealthy, perhaps. all of this never begins if they hadn’t shared one night fling, but they did, and he’s still not sure it was a mistake or not. but the thing is, he is really good at concealing all these emotions for the friendship’s sake.

when it comes to monkiki moments, kiki and his hyungs — like minhyuk and jooheon — are more standing out because they’re extrovert and never shy about they fond of her. on the other hand kikyun is more reserved and quiet, but sometimes moncarats pointed out how close they seems in award shows or backstages.

✦　𝐉𝐔𝐘𝐄𝐎𝐍　/　unconfirmed

it can be described in three words. he simps her. kiki knows the boyz’ members since she made choreos to some of their songs, sends flowers and gifts to their live and showcase time to time, being a good sunbae to juniors. juyeon knows she’s out of the league but it doesn’t stop him from the occur of admiration. these days they rarely come across in person but sometimes he send short text messages and keeps her replies as his daily breads.

✦　𝐖𝐎𝐎𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐆　/　confirmed

everyone knows atz babies are bunch of svt stans but the way wooyoung looks at kiki with longing eyes is unmistakable. he’s bald enough to answer her name directly to the question of ideal type, said “someone who’s smile are bright and warm like kiki sunbaenim!” now it becoming inside jokes for carat and atiny. he greets her energetically whenever met her and now kiki bows back titterly ( succeeded fan moment for sure ). some atinies brought her pcs and merchandises to the fan sign and guess what? he receives with the brightest smile on his face.　

✦　𝐘𝐔𝐍𝐉𝐈𝐍　/　confirmed

she’s the leader of 4th gen kiki stan. they’ve been known each other before pd48 but getting closer after the program. kiki kept in touch with her throughout years, wished nothing but best for the journey when yunjin told her she’s going to college in states—even so kiki always knew, she’ll be a thing one day. yet after youngling’s past seemed drift apart from it, kiki never changed her mind. and she was right after all. meanwhile yunjin is thankful to her beliefs in her for years, coaxed her into hard core kiki fan. every time she went crazy and hollered to her performance in award shows—it’s a legendary kpop inside jokes.

✦　𝐊𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐀　/　unconfirmed　

at this point audiences notice too many things in award shows but can’t be helped, it’s just such convenient. my just shook from the bottom recently because karina’s bob… it’s just not bob. it’s the perfect resemblance of kiki’s hairstyle in your choice era. the way it flows, the way it trimmed… it’s THE hairstyle, and they become suspicious, dig down the internet and found the tons of evidence karina following kiki with her eyes, smiling so hard when she’s speaking, being awe of her beauty on the screen… and list keeps going. currently no one expects drama but, who knows what will happen in the future?

✦　𝐘𝐄𝐉𝐈　/　unconfirmed　

it’s… kinda obvious kiki is her ( celebrity ) crush, i mean just look at how yeji gets nervous and excite all at once when she’s nearby. kiki is her role model ( officially ) so it’s not that surprising even if she keeps the screenshot when sunbae texted how she’s a good performer and wish her luck, right? asking her out to grab the meal together must be her top 3 bucket list so far, yet kiki has no clue for her such longing and sees her talented cute junior and nothing more.

© SVT-KIKI　/　2025 .　

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