#i really thought i'd be able to escape them this season for the most part. of course not. why would that ever be the case

[infizero]

i was literally about to go to bed too.

[theaddictedwatcher]

Hello everyone!

Here again to introduce you to another fantasy show. This series, made for Netflix, is for now composed of two seasons. First broadcast in 2021, the story is an adaptation from the literary world created by Leigh Bardugo. Today, the show I will introduce you to is Shadow and Bone !

And now, to begin with as always, a little summary : The kingdom of Ravka has been cursed for millennia. Its fate now rests on the shoulders of an orphan, Alina Starkov, who works as a cartographer in Ravka's First Army. When her childhood friend, Malyen ‘Mal’ Oretsev, an orphan like her, is enlisted to take part in a boat crossing the Shadow Fold, a dangerous, dark and evil fog that cuts Ravka in two, Alina manages to go with him. In the middle of the Fold, as the crew is decimated by evil flying creatures, the terrified young cartographer begins to project beams of light that drive them away and allow the boat to emerge from the Fold. Word of her feat soon spreads and Alina discovers herself to be the Sun Summoner, a Saint steeped in beliefs dating back thousands of years and the only one capable of destroying the Fold to reunite Ravka. In this world, the Grishas, people with various magical talents, form the Second Army of Ravka under the command of General Aleksander Kirigan. Alina is taken by Kirigan to the royal castle at Os Alta to be trained and to meet the king. Meanwhile, in Ketterdam, a team led by Kaz Brekker, the Crows, have been offered a very large sum of money to capture the Summoner of Light. To complete their mission, Kaz, assisted by Jesper Fahey and Inej Ghafa, must find a way to cross the Fold… Who can Alina trust? Will she be able to rid Ravka of the Fold? Will she be able to escape the Crows? Who is Kirigan really? And a little technical description : - Created by : Eric Heisserer - Music by : Joseph Trapanese - Main cast : Jessie Mei Li, Archie Renaux, Freddie Carter, Amita Suman, Kit Young, Zoë Wanamaker, Ben Barnes, Daisy Head, Danielle Galligan, Callahan Skogman.

As I said above, the series is a Netflix adaptation of two of Leigh Bardugo's literary sagas: the Grisha trilogy and the Six of Crows literary duology. Having read the books a few years ago and the author herself having been involved in the project, my expectations were pretty high. So I'm going to tell you what I thought of the resulting product.

I'm going to start by talking briefly about the production team because, in my opinion, this gives a pretty good idea of the quality of the construction of the atmosphere of this universe. Between Eric Heisserer (A Nightmare on Elm Street, Final Destination 5, Bird Box), Shawn Levy (Stranger Things, Deadpool and Wolverine), Dan Cohen (Stranger Things, The Adam Project) and Dan Levine (Arrival, Freedom Writers), the producers of Shadow and Bone are used to fantasy and fantastic productions that require particular attention to special effects and atmosphere. That's why the team they've built around them (costumes, sets, music and visual effects) has been meticulously chosen, and I'll be coming back to the work of each of them later.

To give you as brief an idea as possible of the characters and their respective stories, I'll start by giving you a little background on the universe in which the series takes place. The chronology of the two merged sagas was certainly the point that made me the most sceptical. The Grisha trilogy doesn't take place at the same time as the Six of Crows duology and, although some of the characters can be found in both sagas, I couldn't quite see how they were going to merge. So I'm going to tell you a little bit about the three different stories that run parallel in season 1, with slight spoilers about the first episode. I'll only be concentrating on season 1 so as not to give too much away, so there are characters and stories I'll be deliberately omitting, although I'd love to talk about them…

THE UNIVERSE

The Shadow and Bone series plunges us into a fantasy universe in which the different populations of the six nations of Ravka, Fjerda, Shu Han, Kerch, Novyi Zem and Wandering Isle adapt elements of the language, culture and traditions of the countries of our world, drawn from different periods. Each of these populations is partly made up of people with magical abilities. These people, called Grishas by the common people, can be categorized into three different sections depending on their abilities:

Corporialkis are Grishas who have the ability to alter the physical state of a living being, either to heal them (Healers) or incapacitate them (Heartrenders).

Materlialkis are Grishas who have the ability to transform materials such as iron.

Etherealkis are Grishas who have the ability to manipulate the elements.

THE PREMICE

The nation of Ravka is divided in two, from east to west, by the Shadow Fold (also known as the Unsea), a region plunged into darkness and filled with beasts created centuries ago by a Grisha known as the Black Heretic. Ravka is also at war with Fjerda, which is seeking its independence from the king of Ravka. General Kirigan -played by Ben Barnes- leads Ravka's Second Army in these conflicts, which threaten the lives not only of the people of Ravka but of the whole world. To ensure the survival of his people, he searches in vain for the Summoner of Light, who, according to legend, is the only one who can destroy the Shadow Fold.

When the series begins, we meet the various protagonists:

* ARC GRISHA

Alina Starkov -played by Jessie Mei Li- is a young woman, half Shu, who grew up in an orphanage with her best friend Malyen "Mal" Oretsev -played by Archie Renaux. In the first episode, we discover that she is a cartographer in Ravka's army and that Mal has been enlisted as a tracker. But when, during an expedition, she reveals herself to be the Sun Summoner -an Etherealki with the rare power to summon light-, her destiny eludes her. Mal does everything in his power to protect her, but General Kirigan takes her to the Little Palace. He wants her to learn about her power there, but also to give hope to the Ravkan people that the Fold can be destroyed. We discover in the first episode that he is an Etherealki capable of summoning darkness, which is why he has been nicknamed "The Darkling". It's a very rare ability, like that of the Sun Summoner, which is why he is admired and feared by many. At the Little Palace, Alina meets Genya Safin - played by Daisy Head -a Healer known for her great beauty. Genya, initially sent to train her in the customs of the Little Palace, becomes Alina's confidante. During her stay at the Little Palace, Alina also meets Baghra Morosova -played by Zoë Wanamaker. She is introduced as one of Alina's instructors at the Little Palace, the Second Army's training facility. She is strict in her teaching of Alina's mastery of light summoning.

* ARC CROWS

Kaz "Dirtyhands" Brekker -played by Freddy Carter- is an experienced thief with a reputation for completing any mission if the price is right. He is the de facto leader of the Crows and has a personal vendetta against Pekka Rollins. Severely haptophobic -a rare phobia involving the fear of touching or being touched, an acute exaggeration of normal protective tendencies in personal space- and suffering from osteonecrosis in his right leg which causes him to limp, he has to use a cane with a pommel shaped like a crow's skull to help him get around and sometimes in combat as a weapon. Together with Inej Ghafa known as "The Wraith" -played by Amita Suman- and Jesper Fahey, a Baelish-Zemini sharpshooter -played by Kit Young- Kaz embarks on a new mission for a mysterious sponsor: they must find, kidnap and bring back to Ketterdam the Sun Summoner. If their mission is successful, Kaz will have the means to take revenge on Pekka and save those closest to him.

* ARC NINA / MATTHIAS

While Nina Zenik -played by Danielle Galligan- was on Wandering Isle on a mission for the Second Army with Zoya Nazyalensky, she found herself trapped in a Fjerdan drüskelle camp amongst whom was Matthias Helvar -played by Callahan Skogman. As Fjerdans consider Grishas to be evil, Nina was taken prisoner, interrogated and tortured. The ship on which she was held prisoner was caught in a storm and destroyed. Matthias survived the shipwreck thanks to Nina's powers which kept their bodies warm long enough to reach the shore, and so they survived together for three weeks in the wilds of Fjerda.

CASTING

It took me a couple of episodes to realise that I shouldn't see season 1 of Shadow and Bone as an adaptation of the first Six of Crows novel but rather as a mission carried out by Jesper, Kaz and Inej before the first Six of Crows book. While this may be uninteresting for readers of the novels, I find the idea of allowing us to learn more about the characters we love before the adventures in which we discover them quite interesting. It includes us even more in the evolution of the characters, and allows readers to discover a new adventure. And I'm thinking that, if I hadn't read the books, this isn't a detail I would have dwelt on. I actually loved discovering the characters I love so much in this adventure, before they were them, before they all met each other too.

I particularly enjoyed that they developed the meeting between Nina and Matthias in season 1, which makes sense as their meeting happens long before the adventures of Six of Crows. To me, it is far more interesting to have it as a story spun throughout a season than as a 5 minute flashback told by a character in a later season. It was always with the greatest relish that I relearned to love their meeting and I must salute once again the quality of the casting, particularly for these two characters who for me have the most beautiful chemistry this first season.

I must also applaud the casting of Jesper and Inej. I hadn't imagined Jesper to be exactly the same physically (in truth, I saw him with his hair shaved like in the illustrations), but Kit Young won me over from the first minutes he appeared on screen. His carefree energy, empathy, humour and ego immediately struck a chord with me and restored the image of Jesper I had in my memory from reading the books. As for Inej, Amita Suman is perfect in the role. Perfect casting. Whether in her appearance, her posture, her uprightness or her facial expressions, her performance gave me the impression of seeing the character straight out of the book come to life before my very eyes. It was magic.

I was a little less enthralled by Kaz in season 1. Mind you, Freddy Carter is very good, but for me there was an essential element missing from Kaz's story that we didn't get until season 2, and, for me, that's what makes all the difference in the way I feel about the character between the two seasons. But he's still Kaz, with all his faults and a few qualities too, and Freddy Carter brought this complex character to life perfectly.

As far as the Grisha novels are concerned, this first season follows the first book of the series rather well, although there have inevitably been a few adaptations, particularly in terms of the characters present. Yet, it's nothing too different from the events of the first book of the saga. The various performances by the actors and actresses fill out the characters rather well and the range of emotions portrayed is interesting but, and this is a personal opinion, some of the chemistry is unfortunately not there and that's a shame because it's a crucial part of the story…

I'd still like to make a special mention of three characters who, although they barely appeared in season 1, are developed in season 2 and whose actors deserve to be praised for their performances. I won't go into detail about the characters, but I'd like to thank Suzanne Smith for casting Jack Wolfe, Patrick Gibson and Sujaya Dasgupta in the major roles they play. They perfectly complemented the expected chemistry with the first-season characters and I was delighted to discover them in these roles.

REPRESENTATIONS

I'd also like to say a few words about the respect for different representations, whether racial -respecting the different characteristics of each nation, Novyi Zem and Shu-Han in particular- but also the representations of the LGBT+ community with different homosexual relationships. Of course, these aspects were already present in the novels but, given the current international climate, I think it's important that, during production, these aspects were not smoothed over or exaggerated. Whatever our origins, sexual orientation or gender identity, we're all the same, we're all human, and that's what should come first. To be honest, this is one of the subjects I enjoyed most when reading the novels: tolerance and acceptance. Beyond anything that might set us apart from one another, instead of pitting us against one another, let's stand together, let's be united.

SETTINGS

I'd now like to talk a little about the filming locations. The main shooting location for the first season was in and around Budapest and Keszthely in Hungary. Various locations were used to symbolise Ravka, such as the Ethnographic Museum, which served as the throne room of the Grand Palace, Buda Castle for the exterior of the Royal Archives, the exterior of the same castle and in particular its medieval roundel as Grisha's training grounds and Os Alta's gates, the old Stock Exchange for the interior of the Royal Archives and finally the main square for the Novokribirsk city set.

Outside Budapest, the exterior and interior of the Festetics Palace were used to create the Little Palace, and the Winter Festival was held in its concert hall. There's also the Amadé-Bajzáth-Pappenheim mansion that gave birth to the Keramzin orphanage, the town of Szentendre gave birth to that of Ryevost, and the royal palace of Gödöllő for the stable and chapel. A flashback scene was filmed in the ruined Széchényi-Wenckheim manor house in Békéscsaba.

Other shootings took place in Vancouver such as the scenes taking place in Ketterdam that were entirely built in the studio.

SPECIAL EFFECTS

Speaking of studio-built sets, I'd like to focus on the series' special effects. Under the artistic direction of Attila Digi Kövári, Francesc Masso and Zoltán Sárdi, the series' special effects were meticulously created. Whether it's the rendering of the Grishas' spells -particularly those of the Etherealki, which are the most visual- or the creation of the Shadow Fold using a green background, the care that has gone into these effects is extremely meticulous. I'm not saying that at certain rare moments you can't see the use of the green screen, because that would be a lie, but on the whole I'm quite impressed by the visual rendering that has been given to this magical universe.

COSTUMES

Before my last stop, I'd like to talk a little about the artistic direction of the costumes. Supervised by Wendy Partridge, the costumes I'm going to talk about can be divided into three categories.

First of all, the first costumes we see are those of the soldiers of the First Army. They have influences reminiscent of the dress worn by Russian soldiers during the first half of the 20th century.

This Russian influence is reinforced later in the season when we attend the festivities at the Little Palace. The outfits of the Ravkane royalty and the Grishas soldiers present remind me of the visuals in Leo Tolstoy's War and Peace -particularly the adaptation made into a mini-series in 2016.

The second aspect that the costumes inspire in me would be a more Western influence with the costumes in Ketterdam. Kaz's in particular, with his greatcoat, hat and walking stick, reminds me a lot of Peaky Blinders with Cillian Murphy.

Finally, and this is something I've already mentioned, I appreciate that the various cultural influences brought by each nation are visible. I'm thinking in particular of Inej's outfits, which, as a Suli, have South Asian influences in them, or the outfits of the Shu people - mainly visible in season 2- which are more reminiscent of traditional Asian outfits. It's important in costume to show the diversity of the world -whether real or imagined- but above all to do so in a way that respects the cultures from which we draw our inspiration.

MUSIC

Last stop before the end of this very long article: the series' soundtrack. I really enjoyed the work on the soundtrack created by Joseph Trapanese -who is behind the soundtracks for The Greatest Showman, Quantico and The Witcher amongst others- and in particular the different themes written for the characters over the two seasons of Shadow and Bone. The diversity of the instruments used also reflects the multicultural nature of this rich universe and contributes to a varied representation in the same way as the work on the costumes, the different languages and the casting of the actors themselves. In an interview with AwardsDaily.com, Joseph Trapanese explained that the music for season 1 was composed over 11 months during the pandemic and how he conducted an orchestra through meetings on Zoom. He also explained that Russian and Slavic influences were incorporated as a basis for his compositions, as Leigh Bardugo -the author of the novels- had cited Sergei Prokofiev and folk music as examples of inspiration when she was writing. Joseph Trapanese cited other musical traditions such as gamelan- the traditional ensemble music of the Javanese, Sundanese and Balinese peoples of Indonesia consisting mainly of percussion instruments, being inspirations for certain pieces.

CONCLUSION

And that's it, I think I've gone on long enough with this review of Shadow and Bone. I hope you've enjoyed it and that I've managed to make you want to get involved in this adventure, despite its cancellation by Netflix before season 3 due to "the writers' strikes in 2023" as Netflix explained.

Personally, I had high expectations having read the books, and I have to admit that never before has a series adaptation of a work I've read won me over so much. Whether you've read the books or not, if this type of adventure appeals to you, I can only warmly advise you to go for it! And if you want to, why not read the novels!

In the meantime, I hope you have a wonderful week, enjoy your viewings and see you soon!

Eli

[coldflasher]

5, 15, 27?

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

For this fandom I don't think so, but other fandoms yes. I am a known and vocal destiel hater partly because I hate castiel but also because I think the spn fandom is so obnoxious about the ship (sorry destiel-shipping mutuals i don't mean you, but i have seen things...) Also I will come to hate ships from shows I've never even seen if the fandom is annoying/vocal enough. 911 fandom, i'm sorry, but i do not wanna see those firefighters ever again.

tbf that fandom seems to have calmed down lately, or maybe i just unfollowed or muted the people who post it excessively, but there was no escaping them for a while

15. Unpopular opinion about the manga/show?

Season 4 of The Flash was actually really good. Most of you quit watching too early and didn't give that season a chance!! The huge ableism issues with Devoe aside, that arc was actually really compelling and ngl I find it frustrating that for YEARS we were like "PLEASE give us a non-speedster big bad!" and they finally did and everyone was like "no :) " and refused to watch it

Devoe was scary!! He was more than a match for Barry without being a speedster which I thought is what we all wanted! Plus season 4 is actually the funniest season. I hadn't seen it since it aired because the fandom had me convinced it was bad and then when me and my friend watched it we were CRYING during the first few episodes because the comedy beats were so impeccable.

Season 4 also had so many fantastic character beats for Barry, amazing conflict, CONSEQUENCES FOR HIS ACTIONS!! He literally got suspended from work because he was "harrassing" Devoe and broke into his house and it was SO interesting to see him face actual repercussions for letting Flash stuff bleed into his personal life! It gave us the prison arc! It gave us GOOD HAIR!

The actual downward spiral of the show began in season 5. Nora I love you but... that season had a lot of rough spots. Season 6 was also good! Now season 7 onwards deserves all the flack it gets but I maintain the show was still good way past the first 2-3 seasons that are held up as gospel and some of you are missing out on some actually really good television.

I think part of it is like... Coldflash besties, I love all of you, but The Flash was never Len's show. He was never a main character. And I think sometimes we get a bit caught up in acting like it was more Coldflash-centric than it was and like it was no longer worth watching as soon as Len wasn't in it. I get for some people (including me!) that the ship was a major part of enjoying the show but like. That was never the goal of the show. It was never trying to do that or tell that story, or even really focus on Len at all outside of a very minor big bad of the week role, and we do it a disservice by acting as if that ship was all the show had to offer, you know?

Some of my favourite episodes actually happened in the later seasons and I'd love to be able to share my love for those episodes and analyze them the same way we analyze the same 30 seconds of coldflash interactions but half of you wouldn't even know what I was talking about :( I could do it anyway and I still do, see my rant from the other day about Caitlin's s8 mad scientist necromancer arc, but it feels like shouting into the void sometimes... sigh

27. Least shippable character?

Hmm I'm tempted to say Caitlin. They put that woman in so many relationships and they were all soooo boring. Tbf I do quite like her and Ronnie (snowstorm?) but other than that... her and Jay? Boring. Her and Julian. Boring AND nonsensical considering he had such an issue with metahumans. Then there was that weird arc in season 8 where she goes on like 2 dates with a random dude and she's like "I want to tell him about Team Flash because I see a future with him and want him to be a part of my life" and then like one or two eps later she goes "nvm" and just dumps him. It was so funny. But all these relationships except with Ronnie were meh at best and by the final few seasons she was so detached from everyone anyway, they really didn't know what to do with her after Cisco left and instead of trying to have her bond more with the new characters they just shrugged and had her stand in the corner and do nothing

I have attempted to ship her with Iris in the past but it's hard work cos they gave us NOTHING. I wasn't sure if Danielle's acting was the issue and it was because she didn't have good chemistry with her love interests but I have no issue shipping Frost with people so? Idk what it is.

Kamilla is another one, which is ironic because her only purpose was to be Cisco's girlfriend but girl had no personality whatsoever, i'm sorry, she deserved better.

[sammysdewysensitiveeyes]

Other thoughts on the episode, now that I've got the Morph/Wolverine stuff out of my system. (Well, it's not actually out of my system, and never will be, I'm just able to shut up about it for a moment.)

I can't believe X-Men 97 managed to speed run Madelyne Pryor, Inferno, baby Nathan and his trip into the future all in basically one single episode.

And it mostly works, I think.

Madelyne doesn't come in as her own person with her own life and then be revealed as a Jean clone, she starts out as a Jean clone, with all of Jean's memories and powers, who truly believes that she is Jean. She embraces the Madelyne Pryor identity at the end - and the end of the episode manages to be a more positive and satisfying "ending" for Maddie than the actual comics story. Maddie is a Sinister clone who temporarily loses her shit when her origins are revealed, but fights Sinister's control and helps Scott save baby Nathan. After Nathan gets sent to the future with Bishop, she leaves the mansion to live her own life, and has a goodbye with Jean where they part on good terms, to potentially return as an ally later. Much better than "now she's an evil demonic witch and that's all she'll ever be and also she's dead."

Inferno is confined to one short hallucinatory session at the mansion, but boy do they make the most of it. The imagery is terrifying, especially an actress crawling out of the TV and transforming into Roberto's mother, and Nathan's teddy bear transforming into a nightmare Xavier to scold Scott. They really went all out. Some of it felt a bit inspired by Akira.

No Illyana, sadly, although Morph does transform into her to try to fight Madelyne (and then promptly turns into Darkchylde when Maddie corrupts them with demonic energy). So teenage Illyana and her Soulsword exist in X-Men 97, and she has already met the X-Men, presumably?

There's also a callback to Morph's experience with Sinister, and Morph even briefly shapeshifts into their Dark Morph form while recounting how Sinister is basically the Worst Guy Ever. Morph also leads the team to Sinister's hideout, remembering the location from their terrible, horrible, no good, very bad time in Season 2.

Pregnant Jean/Nathan's mother is the one who turns out to be Madelyne, so they are sticking with the comics story there. Interestingly, at the end, real Jean and Maddie both discuss how they will never know when Sinister switched them, or even which one of them was Phoenix. It would make sense if the switch happened at the end of season 2, when Sinister took Jean back to his hideout in the Savage Land, Jean was away from Scott and unconscious. BUT that would completely negate all the development Jean got in later seasons - including Phoenix. (Although the idea of Madelyne getting to be Phoenix is kind of awesome). I'd rather assume that the switch happened either at the end of the fourth season, OR sometime between the end of the show and the start of the new one.

But then again, maybe I'm missing the whole point. They both have Jean's memories, it shouldn't matter which one was the clone during the OG series. They were both Jean.

However, it DOES matter very much when it comes to Cyclops, who basically did get raped by deception (not by Maddie, who didn't know, but definitely by Sinister). In one episode, Scott found out his wife had been replaced by a clone at some unspecified time, then had to send his beloved son into the future, possibly forever. Oh, and Jean just escaped from being held hostage and replaced by a clone, and has no idea how long she was there, and how much of her life she's actually gotten to live over the past few years. What an absolutely fucked up situation for them both to deal with, I hope it'll continue to be addressed in later episodes.

The show only has 10 episodes this season, but damn they are making the most of it.

[salty-medley]

Winx Club - Controversy meme

( original made by https://www.deviantart.com/purfectprincessgirl/art/Winx-Club-Controversy-Meme-775394451 )

Favourite character: Darcy

Since the first season I always found her character interesting. First her look, most of the time a character with pants in Winx is a tomboy or a casual/active/sporty one while for Darcy it's very feminine and vintage. Her color scheme too. Then her contradictions, between having some feelings for Riven ( she's clearly shown as jealous toward Musa) and her original goal & attitude. She's not the total evil one like Icy or Stormy who at first live for chaos and power, she seems to be a bit more shy and nice. I'd really like to know more about her backstory.

Least fav character: Flora

World of Winx made me tolerating her a bit more but ... Ugh. She's way too sweet and boring. People tend to see her as a talented fairy, yet the fact she limits herself to vines and petals while she's called "fairy of nature" screams laziness and lack of talent for me. Flora is supposed to be the most powerful fairy after Bloom but still sucks in fights, and isn't that good for the rest. Adding to that she's insecure at a very annoying level.

Favourite villain: The Trix

In season 1 only. After that it's only by default. They were relentless, good strategists, able to made a whole dimension bow in front of them. While being only three ( eh, they summon the things, it depended on their energy, even Faragonda said it, Riven was a bit useless, just like Knut and the duck). They were only senior students at Cloud Tower, not a 100 years old demon like Valtor or Darkar.

Least fav villain: Kalshara & Brafilius

Was that duet meant to be a joke ? She looked cool at the start but after...

Most overrated: Bloom and Flora

I already said what I was thinking about Flora. Now Bloom.

Bloom was one of my fave characters in season 1. Determined, curious, willing to discover and learn, a good friend ( the fact she was ready to fight the three others just because she promised to help Flora for her exam in the swamp episode), just a normal person trying to fit in a very different place. She was also very brave and willing to help people in need WITHOUT looking like she's doing it for the camera. Her relationship with Sky wasn't my fave part, I always thought she'll have to apologize to Diaspro for that stupid fight, and be able to move one, with or without Sky. Unlike lot of people I sort of understand her running away to go home, when people are sad or live something like being humiliated in front of two or three whole schools and officials, the event being probably even broadcasted live in Magix too, after being sure that it was the witch who physically assault you since you're in that dimension. Heartbroken, lost, with weird dreams, far away from the only people she grew up with and who can't even come to help, realizing the guy she was seeing as a friend and potential love interest lied to her, and now humiliated in front of everyone... I think it's a valid reason when being a 16 years old to have a breakdown.

But Bloom in season 5, 6, 7 or 8? Please stop. Obnoxious, bossy, childish, insecure, cry baby and attention whore. What happened to the original Bloom ? Oh yeah, she get everything she dreamed of and now can't tolerate any obstacle.

Most underrated: Headmistress Griffin

I mean... She's an icon. I love her bickering with Faragonda, just like old friends. She's the healthy type of witch we should see more in the serie, the one who doesn't need to turn into a fairy to be good.

Plus, let me remind you that right after being freed from her prison she directly fought the Trix all by herself to allow the others to escape. She was a real threat for the Trix, it's the main reason why they imprison her instead of trying to eliminate her properly, better deal with her when having more powers and spells.

Also she's a total troll, fully enjoying the mess did by the Trix during the party in the start of the second movie. Just relatable. The only reason she's not in the "Favourite character" slot is that we don't have enough screentime for her compared to Darcy but it was very hard to pick only one.

Favourite season: Season 1

A classic. With an actual plot who was still enjoyable, nothing better than someone discovering a magical world and themselves. It gave me Harry Potter 1 feels and I live for that.

Plus they had personalities back then.

Least fav season: Season 7

Gosh it was boring!

And making a whole season related to animals while treating Roxy like that... Worst villains, worst transformation, worst season. Even season 6 seems enjoyable compared to that.

Favourite fairy form: magic/basic

No I won't call it "magic winx". Not every fairy is a winx, and there's tons of fairies having it before them. I think in the GBA games they called it pixie magic and it's way cuter.

Simple and efficient, I really like the fact they seemed more powerful in that form that in any other one. Just... Bloom breaking the ice and releasing that huge dragon. Did she ever do that again ? Nah. It was smaller and less powerful. A true shame she never used it again. Same for Musa's flute, Stella's scepter who mysteriously vanished while being a Solarian treasure.

Least fav fairy form: butterflix

Was that a contest of how they could make this season even worst than any other one..? If yes, I can confirm it's a success.

Favourite episode: S1 ep9 Betrayed

This episode has everything:

friendship drama ( Stella is a bitch, borderline bully)

teenage love drama

girl fight ( a simple slap but still lol)

prissy daddy's boy VS angry emo "I'm not like the other guys" teen

A real freaking street fight

Least fav episode: S3 ep18 Valtor's box

While this one is the start of one of my least fave couples: Aisha x Nabu. So you're gonna tell me they made Aisha a courageous and independent woman, who knows what she is willing to accept and all you can offer to her is a creep who stalk her, disrespect her and keep pushing her until she gave up to what he wants. This character and their relationship is poorly written. Aisha deserved better than ending with a creep chosen by her father, it's almost like if the wanted us to see forced marriages like a good thing. Stella's attitude was also disgusting, she could understand the situation Aisha was going through and just support her, encourage her to solve the problem instead of saying she could ask a guy what he thinks about it. Making someone uncomfortable seems to be her favourite hobby, it was already the case in season 1 with Musa, except she wasn't supposed to keep acting like that years after. That and the hideous rain outfits looking like a rainbow vomit when they finally had the occasion to make something less bright.

Favourite couple: ( non canon) Griselda x Wizgiz

I know it's a crack ship but as I'm not fond of any of the official couples I'll go with that one. Just check at Chocolatesmoothie's art https://www.deviantart.com/chocolatesmoothie/art/Smooth-Move-365780182

That's the type of interactions I want to see, not boring love at the first sight teens.

Least fav couple: Bloom x Sky

Where should I start ? Like everything with Bloom, it was good in season 1. But it became boring with the time. They're supposed to be engaged for a time now, and yet Sky's father still acting like if Bloom wasn't the hero of their dimension and a princess more powerful than him. That and Diaspro always in the middle, Sky unable to finally tell everyone to shut up, Bloom always crying but not ending this fail of a relationship... Gosh.

Just stop with them. Even Riven would be a better choice for her at this point.

Favourite sidekicks: Nereus & Tritannus

Do they count ? I take the lot.

Least fav sidekicks: the pixies

People will say that the selkies are worst BUT while the selkies can't bother you when you're not in the sea, these damn pixies will follow you everywhere. Between Scylla and Charybdis, I choose the less present one.

[unboundtravels]

𝑬𝑿𝑰𝑳𝑬𝑫 𝒕𝒐 𝑬𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑯

"You are incorrigibly meddlesome, Doctor... But we've always felt your hearts are in the right places."

All I have in me today energy-wise is headcanon stuff. I had a pretty busy week and my energy levels are drained. That being said, I had an itching to write some stuff, so I thought I'd go over some lore for The Bond Doctor: The exiled alien trapped in a cage. Able to sympathize with the local zoo-tiger, this incarnation of The Doctor was forced to remain on Earth in exile after his previous incarnation had summoned his people to help stop a band of renegades that planned to conquer the universe. This post goes over some details of his exile, the actual punishment, and how he seems to cope.

 Thanks to the Sixby Doctor's efforts to convince The Timelords that there was evil out in the universe and that he had a part to play against the battle between good and evil— The Timelords settled to simply exile him instead of executing him as they would with normal renegades. However, that didn't mean he was off the hook. They forced a regeneration onto him, so that when he'd landed on Earth— he'd been in a state of delirium. However, it wouldn't last forever, as The Doctor did eventually recover from his post-regenerative trauma. Despite that, he would still find himself shipwrecked on the planet Earth. This was because The Timelords not only forced him to change but also erased his memories of how to pilot and repair the TARDIS. If that wasn't enough damage, they also scrambled his memory on top of that. No memories were severely compromised, but The Doctor was unable to remember the many "dematerialization codes" for various times & planets. Essentially, The Timelords had erased his knowledge on how to drive, and how to fix any engine troubles, as well as how to read a map. He was trapped. Stuck. In one time and place, unable to flee.

This didn't stop The Doctor from trying to escape, however. Stranded on Earth, The Doctor was quickly swept up by UNIT, and forced with no other alternative— he joined up with them as their scientific advisor. Despite the sizeable salary, The Doctor only really cared about the resources UNIT gave him to repair his timeship. Despite not remembering how to repair his ship, The Doctor still attempted, regardless, to fix his ship. (The Scarf Doctor would later say that these repairs were all sorts of random, as if Bond was just sticking things together and hoping they'd work.) The TARDIS remained in the back corner of his laboratory— often collecting dust until she was able to be repaired. Measuring the time frame that the TARDIS remained unused for in TV terms, The Doctor was unable to pilot the TARDIS for three seasons worth of time (SEVENTY-EIGHT EPISODES) and his control of the TARDIS was returned to him at the beginning of his "fourth season" after he saved Gallifrey from an anti-matter creature with aid from his first and second incarnation. (However, by the time his exile had been lifted, he'd become so endeared to Earth that he didn't abandon his role as Scientific Advisor of UNIT until he regenerated.)

Despite focusing his priorities on fixing The TARDIS— Whilst in exile, The Doctor was often required to solve UNIT cases per the order of The Brigadier. This led to him forming a myriad of connections (most notably Honey Bahn Moto and Kurama, the private investigator), and the lifestyle UNIT provided allowed him to retain some semblance of normalcy. That being said, this specific incarnation of The Doctor had a strong distaste for the military lifestyle. Often acting as a conscientious objector to most of UNIT's practices, which seemingly took an effect as UNIT evolved— becoming more philanthropic over time, as well as diplomatic (if at times bearing a flawed approach.) That being said, being exiled to Earth left The Doctor feeling more like a marooned sailor on an island. Everyone around him was capable of coping with it, but as a Timelord— The Doctor could feel the rotation, size, and positioning of Earth. It is ingrained into him biologically that the universe is much bigger than simply one planet, and as such he yearned for freedom to a degree that left him often bitter and frustrated. He was able to sympathize with caged animals, feeling as if he was trapped in a confinement that he could not escape. This led to him being more assertive and charismatic, as well as more of a showman in terms of gadgetry, an aptitude for martial arts, and a plethora of tricks he "picked up" from various famed historians. All of this was an attempt to maintain a connection to the life he previously had and yearned to continue having. The Doctor was a marooned sailor desperately trying to get back to the life he knew. The results of his cabin fever manifested as new additions to his arsenal. The Bond Doctor would upgrade, maintain, and utilize The Sonic Screwdriver to such a degree that later incarnations continued to use it regularly. The Doctor also acquired a car: Bessie— which he upgraded with self-driving technology and remote control capabilities. The Bond Doctor resided in a mostly 1970s-core Earth, which made this technology extremely advanced, as telephones were still in their rotary phase whilst he was in exile. (Don't ask me to explain the continuity errors for various threads I'll kill you)

His foremost enemy was a fellow Timelord he frequently encountered, The Master. Although appalled by the disregard for life inherent in the Master's schemes, The Doctor treated their relationship as somewhat of a friendly rivalry, even enjoying their battle of wits. The Master reflected an equally casual attitude toward him. During his exile, and because of the more frequently reoccurring conflicts, The Doctor also held out hope that he could rehabilitate the Master, whom he had once considered more than a friend. Eventually, The Master would cement that rehabilitation was an impossibility— and The Doctor would go on to consider him the worst evil in the cosmos (though The Goth Doctor would attempt the war to rehabilitate The Master, again.) Though the Master sometimes teamed up with the Doctor to deal with foes who threatened them, he always bent to dark and malicious desires, which kept their mutual antagonism alive. Indeed, when they did work together, they showed mutual respect's abilities. More than once, the Master offered to share his power, but the Doctor always refused.

Authoritative, yet rebellious, this incarnation of The Doctor always favored peace and diplomacy above violence and aggression, though this led him to clash with stalwart military-minded individuals who chose rules over morality, with figures such as the Brigadier often being a thorn in his side, especially when a particularly aggressive influential had a greater majority of imprudent people on their side. The Doctor held a strong disgust towards these people, who were any combination of stubborn, selfishly goal-driven, or close-minded, and would be further outraged if they refused to listen to him, ignored his protests, or went to absurd lengths just to dodge the risk of being proven wrong, especially when they acted antagonistic and undiplomatic. If unsatisfied with someone's handling of a situation, however, the Doctor would step in forcefully and take charge, but, if diplomacy outright failed, he reacted in a subdued manner, giving a scathing and virulent dressing down to the foolhardy individuals that destroyed a bid for peace and order. Having a disdain for bureaucracy, he was rebellious against authorities that were openly hostile towards him.

With a reaction time "ten times faster" than a human's, The Doctor was a man of action, joining the fray whenever needed with his mastery of Venusian aikido, boxing, Saturnian kung-fu, Martian karate, and Mercurian kung fu. The Bond Doctor's skill at combat was so exceptional that many future incarnations of The Doctor considered him to be the best hand-to-hand combatant of any of the previous incarnations (discounting The War Doctor, of course.) He was also adept in fencing, was a highly trained marksman, and thanks to frequent encounters with The Master— was an incarnation of The Doctor less susceptible to mind control or general psychic or telekinetic trickery. Much like other incarnations, this incarnation could resist mental probes meant to invade his mind for information.

Overall, The Bond Doctor is an incarnation one could describe as caged. Longing to be free, but reluctant to enjoy it once he became attached to the world he'd been exiled to. Motivated by his self-interests at first, he'd later become someone who put his friends above himself. Always self-sacrificial, this Doctor was colorful and whacky but stern and dangerous when the situations called for it. An elegant tiger struggling bitterly against the chains of his exile but unable to resist defending the planet that had become his prison.

[loveanoutcast]

ok but I read games and I am ADDICTED and I just thought I could maybe request something like-

Eren meeting the reader through a simple comment and a timeskip to them being v close until they eventually end up in a fight because reader was ranting to eren about how perfect their crush (who is actually eren) is and him just exploding and them getting into a fight until the reader eventually goes "that person is you, dumbass!" Or smth like that and from there it all just turns into a lot of kisses and smut👀

only if you're comfy/in the mood of writing smth like this tho! just had this random thought last night and thought I'd request a little erenxfembodiedreader

Anyway have a nice day, night, afternoon, morning, you're amazing :D

Oh my gosh, this is my first request ever and I am so incredibly excited to write this and I really hope I did good in writing something you would want. Thank you so much for submitting this request, please feel free to send more! I love writing fanfics of any aot character and will do my absolute best to embody them in these. Sorry for the long wait, when I say the last chapter had me all the way FUCK3D up. EreMika is canon and I haven't been able to stop saying "He loved her, oh my god he loved her" in that "and they were roommates" vine way because that's my coping mechanism and it's cheaper than therapy. Anyway, I give you-

"Assumptions."

Pairing: Eren Yeager x Fem!reader

TW: nsfw, smut, angst, jealously, swearing, yelling, a bit of fluff, unprotected intercourse, breeding kink, a bit of voyeurism, a bit of sexism, eren being denser than a rock, Levi having health issues because he's old

Other: aot world if the mess of season four never happened and eren didn't fall to sad bitch hours, reader is a regular girl with family issues, all characters are over 18, Erwin never died and Floch never went insane

It wasn't that Eren hated going into town, but he wasn't exactly used to going to town alone. He always had Mikasa and Armin flanking either side of him but since the discovery of the world outside the walls and the decreased threat of titans, scouts were needed more than ever in the recovery of the lost districts. Mikasa was the second strongest soldier alive and Armin was expected to take after Erwin. Eren was useful when it came to being the one who possessed the attack and founder titan, but lately there was no big threats that required his titan abilities.

That didn't stop Hange from poking him, nor did it stop Captain Levi from keeping him busy with even the most minimalist of tasks. Today was no different and when the options were given to him and Jean, who was still asleep in his bunker, on shoveling horse shit or going into town to stock up on supplies and check to ensure all market suppliers weren't being capitalist pigs to the local vendors, Eren all but hauled ass through the door, hand swiping the grocery list off the table and yelling, "Good luck Jean-boy!"

Everything seemed to be going just fine, none of the local vendors had any troubles and most seemed happier with the drastic improvements of the living situations for Eldians. The fear of being eaten any day now or losing a loved one to war had seemed to be the driving force that had led to problems before. Some people recognized Eren, but no one seemed to want to approach him. He had had encounters with people who thought of him as a god, but he usually ignored them or kept a level-headed composure. Despite knowing that he had a power no one else had, outside of being a titan-shifter, Eren didn't really know what he had to offer. Armin was smart, Mikasa was strong, and he couldn't exactly claim titan-shifter seeing that Armin was also the colossal and Ymir had been the jaw.

He let out a sigh, kicking a rock in his path and silently yearning for something beyond his knowledge. Despite knowing that he was never really alone, he felt lonely a lot of the time. He had never given much thought to settling down, with the clock running out on him he often thought what was even the point? He wasn't sure if he wanted to keep being a soldier or if he wanted to go back home one day, he didn't really try to dwell on the future, content with being in the present and having Mikasa always on the verge of tears when she was reminded that he would one day die, didn't really give him room to think of much else.

You weren't oblivious to the tales and rumors that went around the town about the scouts and their secret weapon in the form of a shapeshifting man and how him and his comrades were able to plug the hole in the wall of a district your family had come from long ago. Your father had long since escaped the walls of Maria before it fell, he made an honest living being a construction man, and your mother was a nurse who happened to catch his eye when he had a roofing accident. They built a life for themselves within Wall Rose. You weren't the richest family, nor did you have a name that was well known. Nonetheless, you were all hard working. Your brothers worked for the respect they got, one being a weapon maker and the other being a bar keeper was enough for the part of town you were in. Even their wives did well for themselves in being a seamstress and bar waitress. As the youngest, you were loved and cared for. You weren't the most beautiful girl in town, but you turned heads nonetheless, well until one of your brothers decided to glare or promptly hit whoever doted on you too long for their liking.

The people who knew you, thought you were trouble. Mostly the elders spewed of you and your ways of thinking being a disgrace to everything Eldians stood for and bringing only shame to your gender, you were a woman ahead of her time and they couldn't stand it. Like your mother you had entered the medical field, but even when you were small you claimed you would be a doctor one day. You shadowed and worked under the supervision of the town's doctors. Many amused at your antics, some who didn't care about you being a girl and just grateful to leave such responsibility on someone who was genuine in the intent, and others not caring one way or another and not willing to hear your screeching pleads to observe what they did. Your mom had spoken with you more than once about settling with being a doctor's aide, today being no different and you let out a sigh as you looked to your mother's pained expression.

"I just don't understand why you insist on making your life so difficult? It was bad enough when you proudly exclaimed your goals in front of the entire church, but now this?"

You could only look away, looking towards the fields where you saw your third brother grooming the horses. You hadn't said anything bad, you were approached with a job offer that would give you the title and respect you had been desperately craving, and it would bring greater honor to your family...or so you thought before your mother reacted the opposite in which you hoped.

"I will not have any daughter of mine chasing dreams and fantasies off in some other place where no one can protect you. This is a suicide mission and I for one will not stand by and watch you march forward to your downfall."

Your father stood behind your mother, not really saying anything and not even looking at you. You felt especially bad for the commander and captain who stood on either side of you and were bearing witness to the absurd exchange between your family.

"Mrs. Y/L/N, you have to know that if Y/N were to accept this offer, she would never be in the front lines. We have bases located all throughout the walls and she would do what she did best and be our primary doctor." Commander Erwin spoke with such calm words, his demeanor kind and patient.

"So you expect me to let her run off with a bunch of men whose brains are broken from the wars they fought and not worry? She is not even married!"

You grit your teeth so hard upon hearing that, you were sick of the standards put forth on you since your birth. You were sick of the expectations you were in no hurry to reach and you were especially tired of the lack of faith your family had in you to be independent and strong. Your fists clenched and you felt a steady gaze on you.

"I'm not an expert or anything on parenting, nor will I act as if I am, but instead of yelling at her, why don't you try asking your daughter what she wants to do?" You didn't silence the gasp you released, looking at Captain Levi in confusion and admiration.

All eyes turned to you, your mother crossing her arms as if asking you to try and defy her. Erwin looked a bit expectedly and Levi looking indifferent to the entire conversation. It was your father who beat you to it before you could even open your mouth to answer.

"You have a choice, my daughter. If you choose to stay, you'll make your mother and brothers happy. You can continue to help people but you will never be acknowledged as a doctor...but you'll have your family. Or you can choose to leave and live your life to your own accord, but you will lose the respect of the town and your mother will never speak to you again. Are you willing to put yourself above your family?" You expected this from your father, always neutral and never judgmental, what he was saying was true after all. Were you willing to lose your family over your dreams? Would you be able to survive on your own with only the scouts to rely on?

Your head was hurting and your frustration only grew when your brothers decided to come home and after your mother wailing at them about your plans to leave, they were quick to overwhelm you with their own opinions. The commander and captain apologized but they had to leave and return to headquarters.

"Take your time on making your decision. We will come back in a few days for your answer." Commander Erwin told you, giving you a smile as he continued, "I know its a lot to ask you to choose us over your flesh and blood, but if you do. You have my promise that we will protect you, and we may never be able to fully replace your family in your heart, but the scouts will be a family on its own for you."

"Tch," Captain Levi shook his head, "Look brat, you will see and do things that you won't always like. People will die no matter how hard you try to save them, but call Erwin and Hange delusional--they see something in you. Don't walk into this half-assed, if you choose to be our doctor and you choose to take on the title and everything it carries with it, you have to dedicate your heart."

You only nodded. Two days had passed as you walked through the market, the small basket in your hands carried apples and some citrus fruits. Your mother still wasn't talking to you and your brothers seemingly assumed you wouldn't be leaving, only your father knew how frantic your mind was, and one morning he admitted that he would be delighted to have at least one of his children carry the family name on a military standing. So you had his support.

You even spoke to the animal doctor you had been shadowing for the past few weeks, his eyebrows had rose in an impressed matter and he promptly asked when you would be leaving.

"I haven't made a decision, yet." You said.

"You would be an idiot not to take it." Was all he replied before asking you to give the cattle their medicine.

Idiot, huh? You wondered. You knew deep down he was right. Your mind continued to play in endless loops of thought before you heard a commotion to your right. Turning your head you saw a group of men, their huddling seemed a bit more frantic and it was not until one of them yelled that you noticed one man in particular on his knees.

"Help! Someone call a doctor!"

The man on the floor was bleeding rather profusely and you didn't have time to question what happened before you quickly made way.

"Sir, let me see."

"Hey! Woman don't touch him!"

"Make yourself useful and go get a doctor! What the hell do you think you're doing!"

"I am a doctor." You calmly said, inspecting the gash on his side and seeing the edge of what appeared to be a broken pipe sticking out from the building behind them. The drips if bloods glistening in the sun only confirmed what you thought.

"We were-" The injured man rasped out, "Just horsing around."

"It's okay." You reassured, grabbing a roll of gauze and stack of medical napkins you always kept in your basket. You apologized before applying pressure to the wound, and you heard the patter of rushing feet.

"A doctor is on his way! A real one!" One of the men sneered, and you did your best not to roll your eyes and focus on stopping the bleeding. You asked the man to lie on his back and he surprisingly complied, he didn't seem to care about you being a girl and only seemed thankful to not be alone and scared.

"Do you hear that? Move before you kill him!" The first man hollered, the hand on your shoulder causing you to sharply inhale.

"Excuse me for one moment." You told the man, and you were quick as you hand shot up to grip the disrespectful ass by his wrist and twist it in one fluid motion, you wasted no time in using the building wall as leverage, quickly running up and using his weight to stabilize yourself before you roundhouse kicked him so hard it sent both of you flying back. You landed on one foot, balancing yourself before going back to the patient.

You couldn't deny how satisfying it was to hear the impact, or the groan of pain coming from him. Your eyes met the others.

"If any of you touch me, I'll do exactly what I did to your buddy there, but ten times worse. Now shut the hell up and let me save this man."

Eyes widely stared at you as you resumed caring for the injured, a few minutes passed by the time the doctor got there.

"Oh!" His eyebrows rose, "Hello Y/N, didn't expect to see you here. If I would have known, I wouldn't have left the hospital on its own."

"Hi Dr. Goodwin," You looked up, two fingers on the injured man's wrist and the other held up four fingers from your counting. You blushed slightly from his confidence in you and you noticed the men who bullied you all sport faces of confusion.

"His pulse is stable. I wrapped the wound tightly, but he needs stitches."

"Thank you, miss." The injured man grabbed your hand and you smiled in return.

"Don't mention it."

"Actually, it's Dr. Y/L/N." Dr. Goodwin said, seeing your eyes widen and the smile he gave only made your heart swell that much more.

The doctor nodded, thanking you before asking his helpers to load him to the small gurney they brought. He could only thank you briefly before you waved them off. The other guys had stayed back, eyes wide in disbelief that the doctor not only recognized you, but acknowledged your work.

"Are you a nurse or something?"

"Are you morons deaf? Did you not hear Dr. Goodwin? I'm a doctor too."

The leader seemed to recover from the kick you gave him earlier as his lip curled in an ugly matter, "What kind of sick joke is that? No such thing as a woman doctor."

"Obviously there is if I'm standing right in front of you. Or did my kick knock a few more scews loose?"

Eren was walking buy, noticing the commotion from afar and as a soldier, his instincts to provide help in dire situations kicked in. He elbowed his way to the front. Seeing you standing defiantly in front of five tall muscular men. He stepped forward as the main leader got in your face, but when you shifted your foot, he seemed to coil back. Eren noticed a giant welt on one side of his face and wondered how the hell he got such an ugly bruise. It didn't stop their onslaught.

"Who the hell do you think you are? What makes you think you could do whatever the fuck you want?"

"Because in this world, I'm free to do whatever the fuck I please." Eren watched as your eyes narrowed in further defiance, the smile on your face sickeningly sweet and all he could think about was how he had never seen such a woman.

You hadn't even noticed the audience that gathered, you side stepped the group of men, going as far as waving a goodbye with a breathy giggle, you picked up your basket. You had a small hop to your step and despite not caring to even spare a glance to the onlookers, your eyes met a pair of pretty green ones. The prominent bone structure made you think, "Wow."

However, the tall muscular body you did a once over on had you follow that thought with, "Oh damn."

Eren seemed dumbfounded, your obviousness in checking him out made him flush. He had never felt self-conscious over his body. He knew even before he hit puberty that he would do well to grow muscles and abs, the necessary type of figure to have if one were to be a soldier of the scouts. He knew it was also something some females found attractive in the opposite sex but it's not like he ever had time to date much less dwell on what girls liked. Seeing the way you looked at him though, he couldn't deny that he silently hoped for your approval.

When you finally met his eyes once more, you had him floored when he saw you drop a wink at him.

The crowd murmuring as they watched you go made his own eyebrows furrow in confusion. He stepped to one of the members and demanded an explanation.

"Honestly, the little lady was crazy! She came in here claiming to be a doctor and helped patch up a guy who got cut by the pipe over there. Instead of waiting for a real doctor, she made a whole fuss."

"Where's the guy?"

"Dr. Goodwin picked him up. That doctor is mad too, he also said she was a doctor, but that's ridiculous. No woman can be a doctor. That's so many levels of wrong."

Eren felt the urge to punch the man in the mouth, but one glance at the ugly bruise his friend sported reminded him,

"What happened to your face?"

The leader grumbled a bunch of profanities, "That little bitch. I tried to get her off before she messed the guy up anymore and she kicked me."

"In your face?" Eren sounded impressed, and he was when he received a nod of confirmation.

He looked to the direction which you disappeared in and said fine words to the group, "Whether you men like it or not. The world is changing, everyone is free to be who they want. If women can join the military no problem, they can be doctors too."

He saluted before rushing off, not hearing the mutters of annoyance from the men. In all honestly, Eren had no clue on what he was doing.

You were scrubbing off the blood from under your fingernails near a fountain when you hear the shuffle of feet from behind you. You silently hoped it wasn't any of those morons asking for more trouble, but you were pleasantly surprised when your eyes met a pair of green ones from before.

"I'm Eren." You smiled at him, nodding and your smile turned quirked when he stuttered in, "Yeager. Eren Yeager."

Hmm, you had thought, His name suits him. You studied his demeanor, not missing the gear strapped to either sides of his hips or the green hood covering his shoulders. You knew immediately that he was a scout and you wondered if he knew Captain Levi. Before you got the courage to ask him, he beat you to it.

"What did you mean by what you said earlier? Do you really think that? That we're all free to do anything we want here?"

You smiled as you nodded, walking towards a vendors stand and Eren fell into step beside you, you felt nervous around him, but also safe with his company. He watched you as you picked up another apple to inspect.

"We have laws and rules though...so we're not technically all the way free?"

"I'm free to be me, just as you are free to be you...Eren...Yeager."

It was the way the sun hit your face in that moment, highlighting your strong cheekbones and giving a special glint in your eyes that made Eren want to hear your thoughts more. He spent the rest of the day asking you questions, never satisfied with the small responses you gave him and he even walked you home. The mean glare from your mother confused him beyond belief and it was your father's words that made you gasp in surprise that night.

"He's the titan shifter, the one who helped plug up wall Rose."

Your face had turned red in embarrassment, you were talking so casually to a literal titan and you even flirted with him. He even held your basket the entire trip to your house and you didn't even consider how informal you acted with your skirt. You had hitched one of them up your thigh to get better footing and hadn't missed the way Eren blushed at seeing so much skin. You knew the girls in the scouts wore pants, but even then they kept covered.

You were certain Eren wanted nothing else to do with a girl who held little to no morals, but you were caught by pleasant surprise when you saw him with Erwin and Levi the next day in town.

His eyes had immediately found yours and you didn't miss the blush on his cheeks as he gave you a small wave. You couldn't but laugh when Captain Levi suddenly kicked him.

"Who's got you turning red brat?"

"Uh-it's nothing, captain."

He didn't look convinced as you gathered the courage to approach. Erwin acknowledged your presence which Eren was grateful for, but his eyebrows still came down in confusion on how the commander knew your name.

"Y/N!" Erwin gave a polite smile which you returned, "So great to see you. We were actually just about to stop by your house."

"Really? What a coincidence, I was hoping to stop by headquarters today as well." Your smile was bright, and by the way the air around you seemed cheerful, Erwin returned your energy.

"Bearing good news I hope?" He still hesitantly asked.

You nodded as you laughed, "I would love to accept the offer if it still stands."

"Of course it does," Captain Levi scoffed, his arms were folded across his chest. You noted for the first time the soft grey color of his eyes and despite the deep scowl he was currently showing, he had chubby cheeks that made you want to squish, "We wouldn't be coming all this way for nothing."

"I thought we were coming to collect a new scout, Captain Levi." Eren asked, you felt yourself blush in realization that he had no clue it was actually you they were referring to.

"We are," Levi grabbed you by your arm and yanked you towards him as he pointed at you while looking at Eren like he was an idiot, "Meet the scout's new doctor. Dr. Y/L/N meet Eren-"

"Yeager." You finished, smiling towards Eren, "We've met."

Erwin and Levi exchanged looks as they watched you and Eren smiled at each other like a pair of idiots, the realization dawning over them and Erwin couldn't fight the smirk that crossed his face. Small world, he thought.

Six months had passed since the first fateful encounter you had with Eren. You had long since moved out of your home and besides the occasional secret letter from your father, you hadn't heard nor seen the rest of your family since your decision to become a doctor for the scouts.

It was a transition to go through as you lost one family and gained a new one, but everyone was so accepting and welcoming. The girls welcomed you with open arms, most notably was Sasha whose habit of eating everything and anything brought her to the infirmary on more than one occasion, Connie usually followed right behind her with a minor injury resulting from his carelessness. You had met Floch when he brought Jean in from a sparring session gone wrong and he immediately took a liking to you. Your level-headedness was like a breath of fresh air to him as he was constantly sorrounded by people he thought were idiots. Jean liked your confidence (The fact that you were easy on the eyes, didn't hurt either), Mikasa respected the way you didn't hesitate to put people in their place, and Armin admired that despite your obvious toughness, you were a kind and patient doctor who never turned anyone away. You were diligent and hard-working, yet your smile was always able to uplift any sour mood and you always put your best foot forward. The one time he had puked all over your hospital floor from eating too much undercooked meat was embarrassing for him, he thought for sure you were going to be angry and call him an idiot. Instead, you took his temperature, put a cold cloth on his head (despite his titan status guaranteeing a speedy recovery), and started a healthier diet plan for him. Armin was scheduled a weekly checkup with you, partly to ensure he was listening and partly for you to study him a bit more. Your research on the titan's ability to regenerate and recover from even the worst injuries was fascinating for you, you hoped to isolate the genes and figure out a way to maybe trigger it in regular Eldians without setting off the titan ability, the fact that Eren made it a habit to accompany Armin didn't hurt either.

Eren had grown attached to you, whenever he wasn't busy or in need of a place to hide from Captain Levi's wrath or Hange's insistence to poke and prod him, he would be hanging out around you or in your office. At one point you had to hide him under your desk when Commander Erwin stopped by to hold a meeting with you about providing first aid training to the scouts for excursions. You were always welcomed to accompany them outside the walls, but your work was enough to make you stay. You recalled the way Eren was pressed against your legs, the feel of his hands steadying himself on your calves and when your skirt had shifted up when you reached for one of the records, you felt Eren brush his fingertips along the muscle. You had stammered the rest of the meeting through and smacked him afterwards for putting you in such a compromising position. You were blushing furiously at the way he gave such a boyish grin and even that night while he walked you to your small cottage, he had a satisfied smile in place.

You always knew you liked Eren, you were also hopeful that the feeling was mutual. The both of you had grown close over the course of your stay, as the head doctor you were given your own living quarters, not too far from headquarters but not so close to the city that you would be given a hard time. Your cottage was fair in size and with the amount of income you were receiving, you were quick to furnish and decorate it to your liking. Eren had even helped by adding his own touches to the interior. The times you would go to the city with him was always met with many curious stares. Your age and gender made many turn heads when you walked in, the fact that you were the youngest and by far prettiest doctor the scouts had ever had made people naturally gravitate to you. Your ability to make friends quickly also made it that almost every weekend you were entertaining guests at your house. Sometimes it would be dinner with Sasha, Niccolo, and Connie. Other times you would be knitting and embroidering with Mikasa and Armin, there was even game nights with everyone until Jean and Eren became too competitive with one another. Other times when the higher ups had meetings (All of which you had to attend since you technically held an officer position within the military branch) you would offer your house where you all shared cups of tea and your famous baked goods. You had even seen Captain Levi grab seconds on your sugar cookies.

It was the times when Eren would swing by alone that caused your heart to flutter, he would walk you home almost every night now. At first he would find the poorest excuses to see you like needing a bandaid for his wrist from the biting (even though by the time you gave him the gauze it would be healed over completely) or try to "casually" be around the area when you would get out at three in the morning. Eventually your amusement turned to you asking him to walk you home every night under the guise that you were afraid of being targeted or hurt, even though everyone had seen you body-slam Reiner the one time he tried to hit on you when you were stitching up his eyebrow from an ugly gash. Nonetheless, Eren accepted. You would invite him in for tea every time and he would even bring you lunch on days he failed to see you in the cafeteria. It seemed like everyone under the sun knew about you and Eren's crushes on one another, so it was also a pain in the ass that neither of you had yet to make a move on one another. Even Erwin had assumed you two were together the one morning he stopped by your house on your day off to ask for your aid for a soldier who had broken their arm from a training exercise, his eyes had grown wide upon seeing you open the door in only your nightgown, you were rubbing the sleep from your eyes as you invited him in for breakfast.

Upon walking in, he immediately saw Eren exiting your bathroom in his casual jeans, his hair was wet and sticking up from the steam of the shower. Eren wasn't wearing a shirt and before Erwin could excuse himself completely you quickly explained how you hadn't wanted him to walk outside so late so he slept on your couch. You were washing his clothes and had left them out to dry and Erwin could only nod and stop himself from suggesting for Eren to bring spare clothes to yours, remembering that it wasn't his place to push or even encourage his team's doctor and titan-shifter to date even though by the way he saw you put jelly on Eren's toast while he made your cup of tea with three sugars was enough for him to almost just order the two of you to date. Instead, he gave a long rant to Levi, wondering aloud whether Eren was either oblivious to your affections or just an idiot, Levi only replied with, "Did you happen to bring any of the toast she made?"...he did and Levi later on answered, "He's just an idiot." while licking the excess jelly off his fingers.

It was another day at headquarters, the mid-summer day was hot and since the flow of traffic had been slow inside the infirmary, you found yourself mostly in the officer's lounge. You had opted to wear a long sleeve empire waist dress, the top had ruffles along your collar and the soft pink of the dress complimented your skin tone. It fell around mid-thigh and the black shoes you wore with them completed your overall look. Eren had stared at your bare legs for a while until he noted your haircut. You had only cut off the ends but your heart did a flip as you blushed from him noticing. You had been chatting with Hange about your research while Moblit spoke to Eren about the new set of routes to be taken during their next trip beyond the walls when Captain Levi walked in. Hange waved him over and he fell easily beside you.

"Hey." His arm brushing against yours and you hummed in response, leaning a bit towards him which didn't go unnoticed by Eren.

"Levi, did you take your medicine this morning?" About two weeks ago you had caught the captain asleep at his desk for the fourth time. You knew he overworked himself and refused to sleep in his bed no matter how many therapeutic pillows you got him, but while he was out like a light you decided to check his blood pressure, only to find it alarmingly high. You figured the amount of stress and cups of caffeinated tea were to blame. Levi kept in good shape, but considering his age and the fact that he never even considers laughing, you prescribed him medications to be take every morning and cut him off from his usual tea leaves. The former was easier to push as the calcium and magnesium capsules were easy to swallow, it was getting rid of all the tins in his desk that made him a bit unbearable to the new recruits.

He let out an annoyed grunt as he nodded. Your smile was soft as you put an encouraging hand on his arm and Eren was officially not listening to Moblit anymore.

"Thanks for sticking to your diet, Captain Levi. As a token of my appreciation, I got you these." You didn't let him reply, quick to act as always as you reached into the small basket you had brought and grabbed his hand to put the gray tin of loose leaves that you took out in his palm.

As usual, the captain was unfazed by your lack of appreciation for personal space. The past few weeks had done well to teach him how despite being yelled at, threatened, and even outright ignored at times, your cheeriness was impossible to diminish and you did whatever the heck you wanted even when it was at times impulsive.

"What is it?" He looked between you and the tin, the slight sneer on his upper lip making you release a giggle before you tapped the bow you tied on it.

"It's tea leaves." He raised a slim eyebrow which made you roll your eyes, "Decaffeinated tea."

"Let me guess, it tastes like shit." His eyes flickered to the purple bow, "Or it'll make me shit."

You laughed, you upper body leaning on his as you attempted to catch your breath. The joke wasn't that funny but the face he made was. You giggled as you shook your head and Hange watched in bemusement as you elaborated,

"It's the tea I always serve and judging by the three cups you had last time, I'm positive you'll like it."

Levi let out a nod, he hadn't even noticed that the tea you served had no caffeine but the heavy notes of honey in it probably explained its sweetness. He gave a quiet thank you before his scowl returned,

"So that's why I was on the crapper all night after the last meeting."

"With a potty mouth like that, it's not wonder you don't have a girlfriend." You deadpanned.

"I feel bad for the poor bastard who falls in love with you."

You let out a small tsk, smiling at him and hoping Eren heard as you said, "Well that depends if he admits he feels the same way."

Captain Levi quirked an eyebrow at you, his eyes knowing and you blushed under his stare. Your fingers fiddling behind your back and Eren hated the way Levi suddenly chuckled at you. His smile was a rarity and to have him giving it to you only meant one thing to Eren; the captain liked you.

"So there is someone you like? Who's the poor brat?"

When you were about to make another snide remark, Hange cut in and excused herself and Moblit.

"As fascinating as this is, there's a captured titan waiting my arrival and if I don't get to use this research Dr. Y/L/N just gave me before nightfall, I will lose my mind."

"I hadn't heard of us ever finding it to begin with." Levi sighed, taking a lock of your hair between his fingers and letting the curl bounce back before he excused himself to tag along with them.

"Someone's got to make sure four eyes doesn't get killed."

"That's why Moblit is going with her." You noted.

"And who do you think will make sure Moblit doesn't get killed?" He smiled once more, "Laters doc."

You waved goodbye to the three, the door clicking behind them and you turned to see Eren with his arms crossed. He was pouting like a child and you wondered what his deal was. You figured with your earlier comment, he would be over the moon to hear you hinting at liking him. You skipped up to him, getting on the tips of your toes as you poked his cheek.

"What's the matter? You look like a scolded child."

"Nothing." He muttered, looking away as his jaw clenched and you only poked him once more.

"Liar." You called him out, "Talk to me."

"You didn't answer Captain Levi's question."

You were sure that there was a giant question mark on top of your head, the gear in your mind shifting as you tried to recall what the captain asked before your mouth opened in realization. You couldn't help but smile as you looked down at Eren's shoes and he only seemed to grow angrier as he watched you blush.

"About my crush? Oh! Well I wouldn't call him a brat, but I guess his attitude could often warrant that title. He's got this sort of this determined mentality that I guess some people can find...overbearing." You played with the cuff of your dress, "But I personally find it charming."

"So he's charming?"

You hummed as you smiled, "He's a bit rough around the edges, but he always means well. He's easy on the eyes too. Got really nice hair and pretty colored eyes that makes me swoon around him. Not to mention his body looks like Zeus could be his father." To add emphasis, your body leaned side to side as you laughed.

Eren snorted, his eyes rolling as he thought of any guy he knew that was like you described. All he could think of was Captain Levi and Erwin. He hated to think of Levi as charming, but he was rough all around. Erwin had eyes that Historia had once described as pretty, but to think of you being attracted to someone as old as him made his stomach flip.

"Want to head back to my office?" You suggested, not wanting to leave Eren's side until he figured it out but also not wanting to stick around in case other officers walked in. You got a stiff nod and wanted to giggle when Eren still opened the door for you. As the both of you walked through the large building, you added a hop to your step as you continued,

"He's also such a gentleman. He respects me, he's never intimidated by my sharp wit, always opens doors for me, waits until I'm sitting before he starts eating, and he almost seems proud of me being a doctor. He's just so understanding and sure of himself as a man that I guess the idea of having a girlfriend in my position would never make him feel inferior." You turned to look at Eren sideways and noticed his shoulders hunched, you knew it was cruel how you kept teasing him but were hopeful that it would click for him soon, so you went on.

"Wow, sounds like a real keeper." He grumbled, now thinking of Jean or even Connie. Armin was too occupied with Annie and Reiner was too obsessed with Historia to hang around you. There was no way Beruto/Borrito/Bertoto would catch your eye as you had made it a point to always get his name wrong, but Connie made you laugh and Jean was always extra nice to you.

"I'm telling you, I think he's perfect. He's dependable, strong, and we share so many of the same ideas. I could talk to him for hours and never be bored and when I'm not with him, I feel...sad. I just constantly want to be by his side and if I'm not I want him to be thinking about me because that's exactly what I do."

You both entered your office, you walked up to your desk as you spoke, turning around and leaning against it to look at Eren. He had closed your door a little harder than necessary, the wood shaking against the frame as he crossed his arms and leaned his back on the door. He looked downright irritated and you bit your lip to keep from laughing.

"So why haven't you told him?"

You shrugged, "I think I've been pretty obvious about it, I'm always smiling when he's in the room, I always want to be with him, there's never a day where we don't walk together. I even wore this dress for him today."

You waved down at your figure, Eren's eyes looked over you twice and you jumped up on your desk, your thighs parting as you let the short skirt cover your panties and barely cover the tops of your thighs.

"I'm sure he'll love it." Eren spit out.

"I don't know..." You tilted your head, "Do you?"

Eren pushed himself off the door, going to your bookcase and letting his fingers brush the spines of the books, "It doesn't matter what I think. I'm not Mr. Pretty eyes. Sounds like a simpleton to me."

You let out an actual deep sigh and Eren met you with furrowed brows.

"What?"

"You're so fucking dense, Eren."

"What did I say?" He threw his hands up, "Just because I called him simple? I'm so sorry I don't care to hear you go on and on about this guy. I never thought I'd see you bend over backwards for some guy who opens doors for you. I thought you would have higher standards than that."

You let out a snort, "Keep talking Yeager, and I just might higher them."

"I mean I never thought looks would be so important to you. It's so-"

"So what?" Your tongue had a sharp edge that did not go unnoticed by Eren. He stood only a few feet from your desk, but you saw the awkward shift in his posture.

"Shallow." He spit out.

"Excuse me?" You gave him a look that said if he wouldn't apologize in the next ten seconds, he would surely live to regret it.

"What I mean is...what guy could possibly have this head over heels and you're just now telling me? I thought...I thought we-" He stopped, looking to the side and you relaxed before saying,

"We what, Eren?"

"I thought we had something special." He muttered. He looked to see your mouth opened in a small gasp and he began to turn to exit when you quietly beckoned him over.

"Eren...come here."

"No, I should g-"

"Please." You begged and the look in your eyes brought him to stand in front of you. Your hands reached for his shirt, yanking him forward and you hooked your legs around his calves. Eren gaped at you, not knowing what to do and say as you put one hand on his shoulder and the other cupped his cheek.

"You are such a dumbass." You laughed, "The person I've been going on and on about, that simpleton you bashed, is you. It's always been you, Eren."

It was like watching a light flicker on very very slowly, but once it was on you watched as embarrassment flooded Eren. His smile was sheepish and stupid as he stuttered over his words. His hands rested on your hips and you stroked his face from his temple to jaw as you asked,

"Do you maybe feel the same way?"

You didn't get a verbal answer, the sudden kiss Eren laid on you was an answer enough. His lips were soft and warm as they moved against your own, his tongue enveloped yours and you felt him lean more onto you. The moan that slipped out his mouth when you bit his bottom lip made something tighten in your stomach.

When you two finally broke apart you didn't miss the trail of saliva that connected the two of you and you whimpered for more. The second kiss was heavier, a clash of teeth and tongues as Eren feverishly wrestled to touch you everywhere his hands could reach. You felt him press against your core, the loud gasp you let out made him look at you in concern.

"Sorry, sorry. I'll stop if you want me to."

You shook your head as you met those green eyes that held you captive since day one, "More. I want more."

The smirk was something you had never seen, his eyes became half-lidded as Eren kissed your nose. Then your chin, then your neck. When he reached your collar, his finger hooked onto the top of your dress, pulling the fabric down as he kissed just above your breast.

"She wants more." He said to himself, the soft rasp in his voice made you attempt to close your legs. His hands pushed what little that had covered your legs up and Eren's fingers brushed your core.

The jump you gave made his smirk grow, "I haven't even touched you yet."

He saw the small patch of dampness on your panties, and before you could ask him what he was doing, you let out a sharp gasp when his fingers pushed the fabric to the side and he plunged two fingers into your pussy.

The moan he ripped from you was like music to his ears and as he began to slowly pump his fingers in and out he watched as your face became hot and red. It was uncomfortable as first, you could even say it hurt but that didn't stop you from rocking your hips up to meet his eager hands. You weren't entirely prepared as you felt a bit tense as Eren kissed your neck, the suckling on your flesh making small breathy whimpers leave your mouth. His other hand's fingers hovered over the buttons on the back of your dress and his eyes asked for permission as he glanced up at you.

A small tentative nod was all he received before he took out his hand from between your legs, his tongue skillfully licking the digits cleaned and you didn't think you would find such an act so erotic. You arm hooked around his neck as you brought him down to a kiss, you could taste yourself on his lips as he kissed you back eagerly, his fingers skillfully working the buttons on your dress and you wondered for a brief moment if he had ever done such an act before. You pushed the thoughts away, not wanting to lose focus or confidence while in the middle of being with Eren by letting unnecessary insecure creep into your heart. As if being able to read your mind, Eren said-

"Stop being in your head," A hard kiss against your lips, "Be here with me."

His nose rubbed sweetly against yours, fingers tilting your head up as you gave a hesitant nod. Your eyes wanted to focus anywhere but his eyes and you could felt warmth spread across your cheeks when the sleeves of your dress fell down your arms. The idea of letting Eren see all of you was as exciting as it was nerve-wrecking, the most he ever saw was your legs and back from that one time you walked out of the bath in only a towel. Seeing him shirtless was not new but you still felt your breath catch in your throat as you watched him yank the material off. Your hands explored the newly exposed skin, fingers dipping in every curve of muscle and your hand rested just above the waistband of his jeans. You noticed his breathing grow heavy, Eren's head falling forward on your exposed shoulder where you felt him nip and suck on the soft flesh. You returned the favor by kissing him on the chest, your eyes still casted downwards as you fumbled with the buckle on his belt, you let out a small curse from how hard your hands were shaking and Eren placed a gentle hand on top of yours, his eyes alight with amusement as his lips curved into a soft smile.

"Baby, relax." He murmured, he pushed your hands aside as he took over the task. You let out a deep breath as you heard the sound of his zipper being tugged down and you decided to be bold. You lowered the upper half of your dress, the cotton falling off your arms with ease and you blushed furiously once you remembered that you hardly ever wore bras and today was no different.

Your nipples were taut as you shivered from the cold air in your office and Eren stared at you in wonder his eyes raking your body as you looked to the side and brought your bottom lip in between your teeth.

"Fuck, can I touch you?" Eren blurted, his hands still near his trousers and you giggled when he added a last second, "Please."

Nodding, you figured it was time to stop feeling so shy. You had been dreaming about this moment for months, yet as the man you loved stood before you, eager to be with you, all you could think about was how scared you were that you wouldn't be enough to satisfy him.

One more glance at the way he watched you was enough for you to think, If he really didn't, he wouldn't be looking at me as if I put all the stars in the sky.

You felt the second wind of confidence hit you and you took Eren by surprise as you hooked your fingers on his belt loops and tugged the fabric down. You palmed him through the thin material of his briefs and his hips jerked from the contact before he melted against you. Lowering the elastic, your small hand wrapped itself around his shaft and you took a moment to admire his dick. It was something new and foreign to you, for a moment you wondered if all male penises looked like that but you pushed that thought aside as you found yourself not really wanting to ever know, as long as Eren's would be the only one you saw. You hand moved up and down, your thumb brushing across his tip as you swiped some of the liquid leaking out to use as lube.

You knew he was a few inches above average, the thickness was also enough to make you worry for a moment whether he would be able to fit in you as his fingers struggling to push inside of you were of any indication of how tight your body was. Either way you were determined to satisfy the both of you, the idea of him using you and watching his face come apart as he milked himself dry using only your pussy had your head feeling fuzzy with want. He rested his head on you, causing your body to lean back and you pressed one palm on your desk behind you and the other jerked him off a bit sloppily. His moans filled the space of your office, you secretly prayed to the gods that the scouts could be smart enough for once to not be injured or to be able to at least handle it themselves and your eyes flickered to the door for a moment.

"Eren," You murmured to the shell of his ear, his heavy breaths fanning across the span of your chest and you felt both your bodies getting hot. "The door, we need to lock the door."

His groan was the only response you got as he trailed kisses up your neck and shoulder, and you resisted the urge to roll your eyes, he was such a guy sometimes. You began to lower yourself from the desk before his hand on your leg suddenly halted your movements and he gave you a lazy smile, his half lidded eyes softly rolling as he let out an obnoxious groan of annoyance.

"I'll do it." He didn't even bother to tuck himself back into his briefs, his dick fully erect as he made way to your door. You felt your hand falling to your side and you bit your lip as you thought about what you wanted to do twice before letting your own hand push the fabric of your underwear to the side once more. You rubbed at your clit lazily as you softly moaned, your eyes closing at the sensation and you smiled when you heard the soft, "Shit." coming from a few feet ahead of you. Eren's eyes were transfixed on you, the way your head rolled back as your moans became louder and higher pitched was making him painfully hard and he wanted-no needed to be inside of you before he was sure he would come right then and there.

Your eyes were still closed when you felt him settle between your legs once more, eyes hazy and smile lazy as you felt him tug your panties down your legs. Your ass lifted briefly to help and you giggled when he grunted in annoyance from having to shuffle backwards to slip them off completely. He laughed with you as his hand cupped you by your jaw, lips finding yours in a tender kiss and the hand that had been rubbing at your clit was used to steady yourself by his shoulder. His muscles flexed under your touch and your breaths intermingled as he stared at you with such an intensity that you felt your stomach flip. You looked down to where he rubbed his length along your folds and gulped.

"I-I'm nervous." You admitted, cheeks blushing and Eren kissed your temple.

"It's okay, I'll take care of you. Do you trust me?" You gasped at the intensity in his eyes, Eren Yeager was one who never beat around the bush and you felt tears pool around your eyes as you nodded. Everything leading up to this moment overwhelmed you suddenly, losing your family, gaining your dream job, becoming independent so quickly, and falling in love with a man who turned into what so many feared but who let you place` flower crowns on his head during tea parties. He continued to maintain eye contact with you, your lips parting and eyes partly closing as he began to push past your labia. It all felt too much, but you wouldn't want to be anywhere else in that exact moment Eren pressed his tip into your passageway. There was a bit of resistance and the guttural moan he released made your eyes widen in an audible gasp, he looked ethereal with reddened cheeks, a slacked opened jaw, eyes that looked close to tears, and thin layer of sweat making his dark brown locks stick to his forehead.

He pushed another inch in, trying his best to not act too quickly or too harshly. All he wanted to do was fucking ruin you. Mark you as his by impregnating you and watching as you took every drop of his semen. It seemed you wanted it too as your hips jerked forward and took in another inch.

"Eren, please." You had no idea what you were asking for, he was being slow and gentle and as much as you appreciated his mindfulness, it had been six long months and if you had to go through another night of humping your pillow or rubbing one out with only fantasies of Eren touching you (Sometimes even Levi, depending on how much alcohol you had consumed) you were gong to scream.

Another inch and a deep chuckle was his response. Your eyes were set ablaze as the realization that he was teasing you.

"Please what baby?"

"Give it to me." You whispered, your hand tugging at his hair harshly and the hiss of pain he released was simultaneous when he completely thrusted his entire length into you. Your thighs jerked at the sudden intrusion and the cry you let out was loud enough that if anybody were nearby, the would have assumed someone struck you. Your hand smacked against his chest, your breath ragged as you attempted to give Eren an angry glance but your pussy betrayed you as it clenched hard around him.

You both released a gasp when Eren fully bottomed out inside you. His hips flush against your parted thighs and your foreheads pressed against one another, lips brushing but not kissing yet as you two came to terms of what was being done. You and Eren were one, there was no going back from what was about to transpire and you silently prayed that he wouldn't regret it later.

"Stop being in your head," He murmured against your mouth, eyes looking into yours, "Be here..."

He gave a heavenly thrust and you felt his arms wrap themselves around your waist as he forced you to fall back onto your desk with a small uff and your hands fell onto his shoulders. Your legs locked around his waist and the new angle caused him to be deeper inside you, but he continued to stare at your with that same admiration from that day he had met you.

"With me."

You nodded slowly, kissing Eren for what felt like the first time. A bit shyly and unsure as your mouth moved against his slowly, you savored the taste of tea and something sweet from his tongue and you let one of your hands hold him by his face as the other found solace in his hair.

Eren began to thrust into you, the rhythm a bit off at first as you two tried to find what worked and when he dipped his hips a little and heard the string of filthy words leaving your mouth, he gave a knowing smirk.

"Hmm, right there princess?"

You panted, your tongue lolling out as his began to go faster. One of your hands shot out to the side to brace yourself on something when Eren began to fuck you harder and instead you turned to see you hand knocked your bottle of ink over, the deep blue liquid was spilling everywhere but before you could let your brain process the mess, Eren began to suck on the flesh of your neck that you exposed when you moved your head. You moaned as you closed your eyes at the overwhelming sensations of it all, your hands grabbing at the muscles in his back and you arched your own and pressed your chest into him.

"Oh fuck," Eren moaned out, "This pussy is so good. You're taking me so well, princess."

"Yeah?" You panted out, "Going to cum in me, baby?"

Eren picked himself up on his forearms, too preoccupied with how pretty your tits looks bouncing with each thrust to notice the your hair was sprawled all over and the upper part of his arm was touching something wet, he figured it was the sweat you two were producing with your coupling.

"I'm gonna get you pregnant, make you mine forever."

"I'm yours!" You screamed as his hips slammed particularly harder down onto your own.

"Choke me, make me a mommy, cum in me, just please don't stop fucking me." You cried out, and a new sort of excitement showed in his eyes, his hand cupped just below your jaw and the light pressure he put on you made you moan louder.

The sounds of skin smacking, panting breaths, and heavy moans filled the air. Eren coaxing you to come all over his dick as you begged him to not pull out of you echoed of the walls of your office. You went on like that for a good while and you giggled in realization that your silent wish for everyone to leave the two of you alone for a while had come true.

Unbeknownst to you two, there had almost been three interruptions. The first being Captain Levi who wanted to ask if mixing his blood pressure medicine with wine would be too dangerous, but when he heard you scream he almost barged in before the unmistakable moan that followed made him fully come to a halt. He didn't even think twice about what was transpiring, briefly remembering that Eren was in fact with you this morning before quickly turning around and hauled ass as far from the hallway as he could. He wasn't sure where he was heading before he stumbled into Erwin's office, the commander looking up to see his captain look like he just ran a marathon.

"Levi? You look like you just saw a ghost?" His eyebrows creased, "Are you okay?"

"Yeager isn't as dense as we thought."

Eren stood to his full height, grabbing at your ankles and moving your legs onto his shoulders to they were fully parallel to his body. You let out another giggle at how your ankles were now on either side of his head, but the small kiss he gave your right one made you let out a noise of adoration. He gripped your hips, smiling as he noted the streaks of something blue all over your chest and neck but decided against telling you as your pussy began to pulsate around him. There was no way in hell he was going to stop you from orgasming.

The second time was Sasha and Connie as they wanted to ask if eating candies with the wrapper still on was anything they needed to worry about, but the sounds of your desk scraping across the floor with Eren commending you for being a good girl and taking him so well made the both of them stare at each other with wide eyes. The "Huh?"'s they exchanged were amusing to anyone else and Sasha grabbed Connie by the collar before they hightailed out of there. Connie wanting to see if Eren had really been capable of pulling you and Sasha calling it bullshit and stating that the real reason was that he wanted to see you naked.

His thrusts became wild and sloppy, the slushing sounds you two were making was the hottest sounds you ever heard. You held onto his wrists, your smile wide and beautiful and Eren knew he wasn't going to be able to hold out much longer.

"I'm not gonna last long," He let you know, you nodded as you reached down to rub your clit in circles.

"Fuck, you look so hot." He blurted, his cheeks a deeper red and you gave him another soft smile.

"Thanks, baby. You too." His abs were going to be the death of you and you hoped you would get the chance to suck him off later to lick them one by one in foreplay.

You felt him begin to twitch in you and you knew you were so close, your rubbing speeding up as Eren's thrusts were becoming more sporadic. The way his eyes began to roll upwards had you chanting,

"I'm-I'm cumming!" Your moan was breathy and high as you felt your release overwhelm your senses, you felt euphoria as you moaned so loud that Jean and Floch who didn't believe Connie when he said that Eren had managed to bed you stared at each other with wide eyes and gaped mouths as they stood outside your door. Their cheeks red as they rushed down the hallway as if their asses were on fire, not even halfway down the stairs when they felt their collars yanked at so harshly they almost trampled down, Captain Levi's glare knowing as he began to reprimand them for being nosy pricks.

Eren's cock dove into you hard and you felt him pulsate as he shot long ropes of cum into you, his essence overflowing as he filled you to the brim and painted your insides white.

His moan was unbelievably loud and low, the "I love you." That followed didn't go unnoticed by you and the smile he gave, made you realize how much he meant it.

"I love you." Your answered back, he pushed your thighs to your chest when he lowered himself to kiss you. His cock softening inside you and he slowed his thrusts down and milked himself dry. He tapped his tip on your sensitive clit, making sure he was empty before tucking himself back into his boxers and jeans. The creampie in you was beginning to ooze out and he used his two fingers to push it back in, your hips bucking at the intrusion and you whined about your sensitivity.

You sat up, your hand going to fix your hair, only groaning slightly when you felt the ink on some strands already drying. You huffed before jumping down and fixing your dress. Eren was putting his shirt back on, his back slightly turned to you and your eyes widened in embarrassment at seeing the blue ink in what was obviously your finger prints streaked all over. You looked down and saw that it had well faded from your hands, transferring to your lover who put on his jacket. You shrugged, figuring no one would see it and you could wash your hands later. Your hair would be a bit tricky to explain but you would be home to shower soon anyway, which reminded you-

"Do you want to stay over tonight?" You blurted, scaring Eren as his eyes widened, you bit the inside of your cheek and fumbled with your fingers.

He smiled, walking up to you and kissing you on the lips before replying, "I would love to. I have to do some work today, and pack an overnight bag but I'll be home by dinner." His eyes looked you over, stifling a laugh when he saw the marks of blue ink on your neck, debating on telling you but not being able to deny how cute they looked on you, a gentle reminder of what happened just moments ago and an odd turn on for him to think of it as him marking you as his, the lovebite also on the side making him watch you with love.

You nodded before giving a follow-up question, "Chicken or fish?"

"Fish." He nodded, you grabbed a few papers from your desk drawer and Eren asked if you were all set before taking your hand into his as the two of you began to walk out the office, you mentioned having to speak to Erwin about the cadet recovering from a broken limb and Eren listened patiently, your hands swinging in between the two of you and you both relished at how easy it felt to transition into a life of domestication together. He walked you to Erwin's office, his knuckles knocking on the door before a loud, "One minute!" replied.

You both shared a look of confusion before shrugging and stepping to the side. You fixing his hair and Eren's hand resting on top of your hips when the office door opened. You both turned to see Jean and Floch who sported sullen faces, their arms swinging in front of them as if they were children just denied a cone of ice cream.

"Boys?" You called, your free hand interlocking with Eren who stood in place as you took a step toward the pair. "Everything alright?"

They looked between you and Eren, Jean seeing the ink marks on your neck and seeing Eren's hair haphazard was enough to make him look to the floor, his cheeks reddening and Eren could only smirk. Floch was the opposite, he couldn't take his eyes off you as his face held a permanent grimace and you wondered if he was constipated.

"Baby," Eren called, tugging you back to him and Jean scoffed, Possessive ass is already showing her off. He thought to himself.

"They just got yelled at by Erwin, whatever they did was obviously bad, just leave them be."

You nodded in understanding, giving them a comforting smile and Floch didn't miss the knowing look in Eren's eyes.

"Sorry to hear about that. If you two ever need anything, you know where my office is."

"Yeah, that's the problem." Captain Levi's voice came from the doorway. Jean and Floch mumbled a quick goodbye before scurrying away and you couldn't help but fall into deeper confusion.

The captain and Eren exchanged looks before Eren bent to kiss your cheek.

"I got to go. I'll see you later, princess." You blushed at the nickname and public display, murmuring a soft okay in reply as your boyfriend? walked away from you.

You gave Levi a smile which he didn't return, you didn't miss the small blush on his cheeks and you figured it was from seeing such intimacy from Eren. You were almost positive Levi was still a virgin. Walking into Erwin's office, you all but skipped the man's desk, falling beside him and giving him a bright smile which he returned.

"Hey Erwin, just wanted to update you on the cadet's recovery plan. He should be back in training in a few months if he listens to my instructions, think you can help me?"

"Sure what do you need?"

"Well, I'd need you to sign these release forms first." You shrugged putting the papers in front of him, you looked at his desk and grabbed the pen, "Where's your ink?"

The chuckle the two men gave you made your eyebrows furrow in confusion.

"What?"

"Seems like you're wearing it, Doc." Levi's eyes flickered to your neck.

You let out a gasp and your hands slapped to cover you and the laughs that followed only made you blush furiously.

Dammit, You thought, Eren you idiot.

[darkpoisonouslove]

Valtor's Core

This post ISN'T anti Sparxshipping but I do talk about my interpretation of the events of season 3 and in it, Valtor wants Bloom dead (and vice versa) so fans of the ship might want to skip it.

I think I finally pinpointed the reason why I don't like the Bloom x Valtor ship. Ironically enough, that is also one of the big things that taint my OTP - Griffin x Valtor. I'd say it makes sense, though, since it's Valtor's fundamental issue. Not insurmountable perhaps, but definitely made worse by Griffin's betrayal. Let me explain.

Valtor's main goal is to become the most powerful wizard in the Magic Dimension. Or at least that's what he says. He's not really that humble. He doesn't just want to be the most powerful wizard. He wants to be the most powerful being period. Why do I say that? Because he himself states he needs to defeat Bloom to prove his superiority but Bloom is a fairy. He could be the most powerful wizard even if he hasn't bested her. And yet... He wants her defeated. Because she's strong enough to ruin his plans. He even avoids fighting her himself and sends the Trix after her. He doesn't care how she dies. He just wants her gone. Because he can't bear the thought of having anyone that could stand up to him and be considered his equal.

He might have talked about fighting her when she's at her strongest but that was never because he wanted an equal. He wanted people to think he bested someone who had enough power to be considered a threat to him. The truth is, he never believed Bloom is his equal and once she started gaining more power and had ways of fighting him, he started avoiding her. He was surprised when he learned she had Enchantix but recovered quickly and went back to fighting her because he's well-versed in magical rules. He probably figured out almost instantly her Enchantix was faulty in some way and didn't think she'd be able to use it to beat him with all the stolen spells he had in his possession. The second the Water Stars even become a possible weapon for Winx, he sends the Trix after Bloom. That way the only person who can activate them against him would be gone while he doesn't have to risk going after her himself and being surprise attacked with the Water Stars if Winx happen to bring them out of the Golden Kingdom during his fight with Bloom. He went to Alfea in 3x23 but he had everyone believing he was at lake Roccaluce. He might have expected that Bloom would sense him because of the Dragon Fire but he didn't think she'd risk herself to activate the Water Stars. After Bloom nearly killed him (and he had to lie to her just to escape with his life), he started avoiding her UNTIL he found a way to remove the Water Stars from the equation. Even though the Water Stars truly make him and Bloom equal in the situation because they would probably kill both of them if Bloom used them. His final stand was mostly desperation and rage on his part and he still didn't believe Bloom could beat him without the Water Stars. He never wanted to fight her as an equal. He wanted it to seem like he'd defeated an equal, and Bloom at that, because that way he'd prove his superiority when it comes to the Dragon Fire as well after he lost to Marion and Oritel. Killing Bloom would be both revenge for getting sent to Omega and a statement to the rest of the Magic Dimension that he has ultimate control over the "god" power and no one can stand up to him.

What's never clicked for me in the Sparxshipping ship is that it's usually based on people's idea that Valtor and Bloom are equals because of their bond through the Dragon Fire. And okay, I get how people would find that appealing. But the show (for me) says the exact opposite. Valtor HATES Bloom because she's his equal. He can't stand the thought of having an equal. He wants to be the most powerful. And while perhaps there is a part of him that would love to prove himself by defeating a Bloom that's practically on magical steroids, he places more value on her defeat than on the manner in which it happens. By the end of the season he's long forgotten about his pretenses about a fair fight between them and he's lost all dignity and reason in his quest to just get her out of his way. His final offer for her to join him is a ploy too. He's never cared for having her as a partner. It's just the only way he can currently think of to get out of the situation after she just destroyed what kept him under the thumb of the Ancestral Witches when he himself couldn't do that for ages. It's proof that she's stronger than him right there and his offer of equality only comes after that. So he's offering her to be less than she already is because that's the only way for him to get out of the situation. It's not because he wants her by his side.

And the issue of equality brings me to my point about Griffin x Valtor. This becomes purely headcanon from here on forward:

The reason why that worked as a relationship was because Griffin never threatened Valtor's ego. She was powerful in her own right but she didn't have the Dragon Fire and could therefore never become an equal in his eyes. If she's not a rival for the most powerful magical being in the universe, then he has no reason to hate her, which allows the relationship to work on his end. Now I wouldn't believe for a second that someone like Griffin would be Valtor's partner and be on the side of the Ancestral Witches and their control over him. What I mean is, that I imagine she was staying with the Coven for him, to help him free himself. Now him telling her about their control of him sounds OOC for him BUT the thing is that the fact that they can force him to turn into a demon on a whim and then he won't have a choice but to obey them puts him in a very precarious position. He can't really free himself on his own because the Ancestral Witches can take control over him at any second and prevent him from doing that. So no matter how much he hates that, he needs a partner if he ever plans on breaking free from their control. And those things combined make for a fertile ground for a relationship. Even with the presumption that Valtor didn't have actual romantic feelings for Griffin, him making her fall in love with him would make it much easier to trust in her loyalty because it's essentially trust in his own ability to manipulate (quite like he was doing with the Trix and making them fight each other so that he could control them). If he can be sure Griffin is fully on his side, he can be as vulnerable as necessary to finally get himself free.

And to address the last point I made about his incompatibility with Bloom, according to the same logic, if Griffin is the one who frees him after he himself failed at that, that would arguably make her stronger than him. However, Griffin herself cannot free him with her own magic because my headcanon is that he can only be freed by Dragon Fire that's infused with light from the Golden Kingdom to destroy the darkness that corrupted the Dragon Fire ember he was made of. So no, Griffin herself with her own powers still isn't a match or a rival for him, which would eliminate his reasons to hate her (prior to her betrayal and in case she freed him from the Ancestral Witches' control).

The reason for Valtor's obsession with power is quite obvious. He was made and controlled by more powerful beings. He needs to surpass them to get his own freedom and prove himself as something other than what they molded him to be. Perhaps in a scenario where he was freed from the Ancestral Witches and had genuine gratefulness and trust in the person who freed him (highly unlikely but let's imagine there's a chance), he might be able to let go of his need for power... Eventually. Or at least contain it enough to be able to accept not being the most powerful being and develop feelings other than hate for a person that could match him on a power level. However, after Griffin's betrayal that left him hanging from the Ancestral Witches' noose, the chances of him ever trusting anyone else again are approximately zero. Even if he managed to manipulate someone into freeing him from the control of the Ancestral Witches, he would use his first chance to get rid of that person for good and thus eliminate any threat to his own supremacy. And that brings us full circle to his final offer to Bloom who had made it clear at that point that she wants him defeated. Yes, she freed him from the Ancestral Witches but not from concern for him. It was just a way for her to defeat him by reabsorbing his Dragon Fire and I'm sure Valtor wouldn't have risked leaving her alive and would've taken the chance to kill her the instant it presented itself had she taken his deal.

[pedropascalunofficial]

Pedro Pascal and Lena Headey

Head to head interview

Hunger Magazine, Issue 6. Released December 28, 2014. Photoshoot October 15, 2013.

Thirteen million. That's the number of people, on average, who tuned into each episode of the third season of Game of Thrones. Among them was Chilean actor Pedro Pascal, who was as enthralled by the sex and slaughter as the rest of us. But little did he know that within a few months he'd be pitching up on the shores of Belfast to join the cast as Oberyn Martell, affectionately known as the Red Viper. Sound ominous? It is. The Red Viper is GoTs newest anti-hero, “sexy and charming but driven by hate”. Sounds like he'll be right at home.

Pedro, on the other hand, though he looks good on paper, wasn't the obvious choice for the role. Expecting a big name to ride into King’s Landing, the show's fans took to forums to express their concerns as soon as the news broke. So is he worried? Like hell he is. “The fans had the part cast in their minds already. They knew who they wanted and it certainly was not me. But I'm not stupid, | presumed that people were going to say ‘who the fuck is this guy’. Since I anticipated the reaction it didn't throw me off.”

“There are so many different ways to go into battle with yourself when you're trying to get a job. I felt a certain amount of pressure because I wanted to make everyone happy. The fan base is so specific and, as a fan myself, I understand the relationship that they have with the show. The Red Viper is the best part I've ever played, and in season four shocks come at the most unexpected times. You might think you know, but you have no idea,” he explains.

Looks like the Red Viper could be in line to fill a Walter-White-sized-hole in television, but to test the theory we pit Pascal against Lena Headey, aka the Queen. Because if you can come away from Cersei unscathed, you can handle anything.

LH: So, Pedro, you come into Game of Thrones in season four, playing a pretty major character. Does that fill you with joy or dread?

PP: I'd say it fills me with joy because it’s a really fucking fun part. He’s a badass. He comes up against a lot of the main characters in the show. I'm very aware of the show. I watch it like a fan.

LH: Were you a fan before you arrived in Belfast?

PP: Yeah, I was a proper fan. I was caught up in the drama of it before I even auditioned for the part. I was already up to speed.

LH: I remember meeting you and thinking, “he fucking loves the show’.

PP: I kissed your ass.

LH: Well, it worked. We're friends now.

PP: I was like a tourist visiting the set, and yet I had to act with you and be in a scene with the characters that I had such a specific association with already.

LH: So you’re saying it’s boring?

PP: No, it wasn’t boring at all. It was extremely, relentlessly surreal.

LH: And who were your favourite characters up until that point?

PP: Not you.

LH: I realise that!

PP: There are too many characters to have a favourite, but I was fascinated by the Lannisters because they're so frightening. They scared me and then you would come in and pull sympathy from your audience somehow, and I found that rather fascinating. The Northerners were so easy to like or get behind, but it was quite something to see people sympathise with a Lannister, after you made people see things from their perspective.

LH: Speaking of being slightly ambiguous as a character, you come in as a major player and a very well-loved character in the eyes of people who read the books, and he’s somewhat of an anti-hero. Did you base him on anyone?

PP: What does an anti-hero mean exactly?

LH: It means he doesn't wear deodorant, doesn't it? [Laughs]. Someone you shouldn't champion, but you do, like Walter White in Breaking Bad.

PP: No, | didn’t really base him on anyone.

LH: Did you take anything from classic movies that you thought you could use and spin to your advantage playing the Red Viper?

PP: God, that’s a good question. I probably did subconsciously. Now I feel under the spotlight because I need to think of somebody, and I have so many in my mind! I think that’s something that is happening a lot in TV today: the anti-heroes are central to these television shows, and people are really getting behind them, even though they're not necessarily the most moral characters. So I'd say that ‘ve become more familiar with the character who's obviously very flawed but gets you on their side — you have complicated feelings about them. But I think I saw the story too much from this character's perspective to perceive any flaws.

LH: He has some.

PP: I know, from the outside. But I don't see any of them. What are his flaws?

LH: His flaws? He's a dirty bastard!

PP: Why is he a dirty bastard? He likes to fucking fight, for sure.

LH: Back to you as an actor. You've done it for a long time and, as we all know, the path is not always golden, and sometimes you think, “fuck it” and you want to leave it and do something else. Have there been moments where you wanted to give up?

PP: Yes, there have been moments where I came very close to giving up. But I never had anything to fall back on. I think you can understand that.

LH: Because were stupid?

PP: We're stupid.

LH: I can't even make pizza!

PP: We don’t have any other skills.

LH: None at all!

PP: And that’s the odd conundrum. You get to a point where you think, “This isn’t going to happen. This isn’t sustainable. I'm too exhausted, and it can't be good for me.” There were moments where I truly did try to formulate an idea of what I'd do. I thought I'd go back to school, start pre-med again and go to medical school or something like that.

LH: But that didn't happen, you just thought about it?

PP: Yes, I'd have thoughts, but it was still fantasy really. But at the time it felt like a practical life plan. Do you know what I mean?

LH: Yeah of course, you need to pay the fucking rent.

PP: Exactly. You just try to escape from the chaos of what you're feeling by trying to create order in your life. Order seems like a solution to save you from the pain of acting!

LH: It's a mental pain. Who was the first person you called when you got the role?

PP: My sister.

LH: Does she watch the show?

PP: Yes, she does.

LH: Pedro Pascal... or Pablo as I called you when I had too much wine, which was deeply insulting.

PP: Even family members have done that to me! Do I look more like a Pablo? Because it happens with about ninety-five percent of the people I meet.

LH: No, I think I’m just an ignorant drunk person.

PP: No, you were an ignorant drunk person that night is what you're saying.

LH: And now I’m educated.

PP: [Whispers] But | want you to call me Pablo.

LH: Ok, Pablo! When you first arrived on set in Northern Ireland, what was your feeling showing up to a bunch of British actors? Did it feel different to doing an American project?

PP: Yes, but I loved it. It wasn’t intimidating. I found it surreal because I’d watched and loved the show. I hadn't had the opportunity to work on something that I was really familiar with before, so it was overwhelming. But it was far more delightful than intimidating. Also you guys were really cool. Everyone was friendly.

LH: Oh, that’s just fake.

PP: Well, you guys were good at it!

LH: We know Game of Thrones is very popular obviously. Do you have any thoughts, or fears, about what this is going to bring you in terms of exposure?

PP: I have hope.

LH: Oh, God. I don’t mean to shatter that, but give it up.

PP: I don’t know really. It’s all been filmed, and now I'm back to my normal routine, so I haven't really thought about it. I remember when we finished filming and we were on our way to the airport, you asked me, “How does it feel you're all done?” and I couldn't really answer.

LH: You were quite emotional that day.

PP: I was very emotional because I’d had such an amazing time doing the part. Also just being there immersed in the experience... You described it to me best. You told me how I'd be feeling.

LH: We don't know your character's backstory when you enter the show, and you have some rather brutal scenes. Anyone who has read the books will know what I’m talking about.

PP: My character comes in, he stirs a bunch of shit up, and then he makes this fucking enormous exit. Now can | ask you a question?

LH: What is it? I’m not going to sleep with you. Give it up.

PP: Oh, come on! This has gone to shit and it’s your fault, so good luck to whoever has to edit it! But anyway, sometimes I'd hang out with the cast members and we'd go to dinner and they would get stopped constantly. There was no denying who they played because they were so recognisable, but you got away with it because you have this beautiful blonde wig on in the show, and in real life you are...

LH: Grey?

PP: {Laughs] No! You have beautiful chestnut hair! Is it liberating to not be recognised the way some of the other cast members are?

LH: Yes, it is liberating.

PP: Liberating being able to walk down an alley in Dubrovnik without being stopped?

LH: Yes, except sometimes | get recognised in the weirdest places. A woman was emptying my bag at Heathrow Airport's security gates and just went, “Are you the Queen?” while rummaging through my underwear. It was so fucking weird.

PP: It seems they're more respectful to you?

LH: Because they're frightened. Wait until they meet the Viper.

PP: Well, that covers it.

LH: I think we're going to get our own show out of this, you know

Interested in learning more about Pedro? Check out Pedro Pascal Unofficial on Pinterest!

[thegeminisage]

Here's something I'd love your take on: I read a meta recently (would link it but I can't remember where, ack) that suggested that Sam is able to forgive John in later seasons because a) he's had the whole "family making unilateral decisions for your own good" thing repeatedly shoved down his throat, and b) whatever John did under this umbrella in their childhoods, Dean has done far worse by that point, and Sam HAS to forgive him so by extension he can't really be mad at John anymore (1/2)

(2/2) As someone who has admittedly only seen bits and pieces of the later seasons, this seems to jive with Sam losing a lot of his characteristic early-seasons anger, letting Dean call the shots almost all the time even when he thinks it's the wrong move, and moments of sympathy for John (contrasted w/Dean's growing resentment, which is so interesting!). But! I got some big ol' gaps in my spn comprehension, so was curious if you had any thoughts on this dynamic

wow okay long answer warning! i got carried away and forgot how to use punctuation. nobody is obligated to read all of this lol and the biggest part of the answer is behind a cut. anyway!!

first things first: i think a big thing to remember with sam’s characterization in later seasons is that it’s like...not there, and when it is there, it’s sometimes flat and inconsistent. because dean became sole the main protagonist after the first 8 (arguably the first 5 or even first 2) seasons, sam sort of got demoted to “side character we don’t know what to do with” along with cas and crowley. they all had good arcs pop up now and then (sam had some fun stuff going on with lucifer in s11 and s13) but most of the time the writers either don’t know how to give him a meaningful characterization or don’t care (or both). so we have to do a lot of that work ourselves. 

so, for example, when we talk about sam losing his anger, i like to read it as him OVERCOMING that anger to avoid becoming his father (which may even be where some of the seemingly sympathetic comments come from, because he’s trying to be forgiving instead of angry), but really...it’s that the writers forgot he had anger issues. in-universe explanation vs irl explanation, yk? and i think pretty much all meta about sam in late seasons is written through that lens, whether the writer of that meta knows it or not. including this one! i can’t prove any of this shit, it’s my personal reading, i’m making it up. like there were just SO many different people involved in the production of supernatural that there was a lot of conflict and contradictions in things like continuity and characterization. (most of the writers room hadn’t even seen every episode!) so there’s not one definitive way to go about it. in many ways it makes the characters more nuanced and in many other ways it makes me fucking insane.

as for sam and john and whether or not sam forgives him, i’m actually glad you asked because this has been driving me nuts for a long time and it took me SO LONG to pin it down - sam’s relationship with john is very different to dean’s, and i couldn’t figure out WHY. it’s not that he was “abused less,” it’s not that he loved john less or was less hurt by his actions, so why doesn’t he seem as INVESTED in everything that happened to them as kids? like he says in season 14 he had to learn to let it go and that it was all a lifetime ago for him. meanwhile i think dean still deals with it every day. he’s still stewing in it to some degree 24/7. so like what’s the difference??

i think it comes down to two things. firstly, that while dean didn’t have anybody parenting him except john (and mary, but only for a very short time that he could actually remember), SAM’S parents were john AND DEAN. most of the time dean was the one raising sam, and in fact he arguably did way more parenting of sam than john did. so the person that made dean feel safe and like he could fight back against monsters, the person he was grateful to, was john. but the person who made SAM feel safest was dean. he doesn’t have that same gratitude towards john that dean does and he never will, because of how john made him feel alienated and excluded from their family growing up. dean’s resentment of john is so tangled up in this very deep and unconditional love and gratitude for him that sam just doesn’t have. 

secondly, i think dean has a serious case of “i can fix him” re: john that sam doesn’t have and possibly never had. john just never showed sam the same kind of inclusion and warmth and trust that he showed dean (however rarely he showed it, and however fucked up it was). i think sam figured out very very early on that their quest for yellow eyes was either a long shot or straight up impossible, and that they couldn’t waste their entire lives doing it, and that even if the demon died, john was never going to change. dean 100% drank the koolaid - he really truly believed in a world where someday they’d kill the demon and all retire from the life and be normal and be a family again, because that’s what john said and dean took his father’s word as gospel. sam knew better.

so i think what sam did was just disengage. partially because he felt he couldn’t afford to nurse that kind of anger and not become either his father or lucifer, and partially because even though sam loved john, still loves john, he never needed him the way dean did, because sam had dean. so it doesn’t hurt him as much to just “gray rock” it. i think if sam stopped and really dug into it he’d find that he’s still quite angry (probably more angry on dean’s behalf than his own, at least at first, because in his mind he was able to move past it and dean was not, dean had it worse, HIS OWN trauma isn’t real etc etc), but he doesn’t do that because he doesn’t want to be that angry, and possibly even thinks that if he brought it up dean would jump to john’s defense and it would cause a fight, which the opposite of what a gray rock does.

as for being forced to forgive john because if he didn’t he would also have to condemn dean...i don’t think i buy that at all. sam is fine making dean his exception and he allows dean to get away with a lot of deeply horrible shit he would condemn other people for. partially because he’s dean and sam loves him, but in my ~personal reading~ of sam, this is also because once sam became an adult the weight of everything dean did and had to give up to raise him really sank in, and part of him felt guilty (even though sam arguably didn’t have a childhood either). you know how kids take care of their parents in old age to repay them for raising them? that’s sort of how sam is with dean in later seasons - he implies multiple times that he would leave the hunting life forever and not look back if it weren’t for dean.

and as a side note - sorry, this is only tangentially related - dean implies several times in later seasons that the job is where he finds his sense of accomplishment and self-esteem and meaning - he believes the world is a better place because of what he and sam do, and even though he doesn’t always like DOING the job, he likes the outcome. it’s weird because this is as close as we see dean get to even HAVING self esteem. sam, emotionally intelligent, would have picked up on that - and since he and dean have both tried to leave the life multiple times and have always come to regret it, i also think part of sam believes you CAN’T escape - certainly SAM could never escape so long as dean was still in it, because whether he meant to or not dean would always pull him back in. and part of dean doesn’t really want to escape because he’s made his peace with it. so sam stays, and i think even if he can’t find the same meaning in the job that dean does, he finds a lot of meaning in being there for dean. (this, like gray rocking, is also consistent with the seasons where sam’s sole character trait is caring about dean lol. but i’m happy enough to read it in a kinder and less bitter/resentful way.)

it IS worth noting i think that the most forgiving sam ever was about john was in the adam episode, where he said he understood why he was the way he was and why he did what he did, and when dean said they were alike sam decided to take it as a compliment. sam in season 4 is arguably at one of his lowest points - struggling with addiction, consumed by anger and hatred and the need for revenge. he WAS like john in many ways, and i think he justified what john was doing because it also justified what HE was doing. but what he was doing led to breaking lucifer out of hell and the apocalypse that followed, which is why i like to think sam worked so hard to reign in his anger afterward - both to avoid his fate and avoid becoming his father.

in short: i don’t think sam has actually forgiven john so much as disengaged from him and moved past it. because if he DID engage with it, it’d bring up a whole lot of stuff he didn’t feel prepared to deal with. one of the risks of gray rocking things is doing it to the point that you lose touch with your own wants and needs and personality, so i think by late seasons sam’s repression, which is much more sneaky and quiet than dean’s, has settled in to the point where he’s like “yeah whatever” about dad out of sheer self preservation - because otherwise, he’d end up going crazy about it like dean does. i think it’d do him a hell of a lot of good to be able to get to shout at john and finally say his piece/ he’s really afraid of his own anger, but i think it’d be healthy for him to get back in touch with some of it.

[spn masterpost]

[vvitchering]

Hey hey hey Bastille anon back at u but not with a song, I'm back bc I just absolutely love your character studies and I'd love to hear your interpretation of religion guilt with Din, bc one of my favorite quotes is "suffering feels religious if you do it right" and every time I read it I think about our poor boy after the season 2 finale, no pressure to do this one tho

Oh boy buckle up cause I have some opinions about this. 

(Discussion of religion and religious themes to follow, fyi!) 

(First things first, I’m Jewish. So my commentary is going to be through that lens, but you should not take what follows as anything but my own personal interpretations. I do not speak for everyone of my faith/culture! I am just one person with a keyboard. Thanks.)

So I thought about this quote for a while and I have decided that I’m not a fan! Sorry! I don’t like the implication that religion = suffering, or that you’re not performing religion correctly if you’re not suffering while doing so. Ironically it has a very “holier than thou” atheistic vibe to it and that just doesn’t do it for me. Religion, at least in my head, shouldn’t ever be about suffering. It exists, in its purest form, to guide you, not make you suffer. 

But Din is certainly suffering, isn’t he? 

I actually love discussing religion within The Mandalorian. I know NOTHING about how religion plays out within the larger Star Wars universe so forgive me any glaring misinterpretations here. The Mandalorian Creed, as dictated by Din’s tribe, comes across as pretty strict and restrictive to the average viewer. I saw a lot of negativity aimed towards Din’s upholding of his Creed when I first joined the fandom and it always struck me as odd until I realized most people watching this show are probably Christian. 

Through a Jewish lens, I saw a man following a code that helped a broken and scattered people feel united and close to one another. I saw them covering their bodies and their faces in armor not only as a means for survival in a world that would rather see them dead but as a way to strengthen their unity as a people cut off from their homeland and their culture. I saw a tribe of people existing in a world where their brothers and sisters were slaughtered and their bodies stripped of valuables to be shipped off to line the pockets of the empire. 

Like. It’s more than on the nose. The pile of empty helmets Din finds when he returns to his covert’s hideaway was absolutely horrifying to me. This had to have been intentional. But I’m getting slightly off topic here so let’s refocus back on Din, re: religious guilt.

Din doesn’t even think to question his devotion to his Creed until he begins meeting other Mandalorians who inform him that he’s in the minority. That “The Way” he was taught isn’t only not the ONLY Way, but is generally thought of by other members of their culture as “archaic” and “cultish”. I don’t think that is necessarily what starts to sway Din from his path, though. 

I don’t think he really starts to struggle with his beliefs until he’s forced to remove the helmet in episode 15 (I think its 15, I’m too lazy to go and look right now) From what I can gather about his covert’s beliefs, the removal of the helmet renders the wearer “dar’manda”, “a state of not being Mandalorian, one who has lost his identity, his soul”. So taking off the helmet and allowing himself to be seen by other people has stripped Din, in his mind, of his soul. He will no longer be able to join his family and tribe in the Manda after death. 

On the one hand, it’s a testament to how devoted Din is to Grogu that he was willing to forfeit his ticket into his faith’s version of a happy afterlife if it meant his child would be safe. On the other, it leaves him absolutely and completely devastated after he allows Grogu to leave with Luke. He’s just condemned himself to Mando Purgatory for this kid and now he’s alone again. Is there regret? Maybe. Is there anger? Probably! Do I hope we get to see the horrible agonizing immediate aftermath of the scene we leave off of in the season 2 finale? Yes please, I would love to cry some more. 

But it certainly leaves Din in an interesting situation, emotionally and spiritually. He’s already been shown there are other ways to be Mandalorian. His Way seemed distinctly Orthodox to me, a little on the extreme side of things. So maybe he can find guidance and belonging in another kind of Way. I think faith is extremely important to Din. I don’t believe he’d ever consider leaving it or giving it up. It’s a part of him and it’s guided his entire life, from the time he was rescued as a child. In the same way his covert’s Way helped keep them safe and whole, I believe he’ll find a new Way that suits him, even if it means he has to piece one together from the shattered pieces of his old one. 

To sum up: Religion is important to Din. The Mandalorian “Way” represents more than just religious faith; its a culture and a way of life. I don’t believe Din harbors any negativity or guilt in the way this anon is thinking. (Din loosing his Way is a tragedy in and of itself, not a release or an escape from supposed suffering) I do believe he has some soul searching to do and I very much hope that’s a big plot point of S3. I see him adapting his beliefs, but not abandoning them. I see him meeting more of his people, learning about his culture and history, and building something new and meaningful for himself. I want to see him proudly wear the helmet again, not out of any sense of obligation, but out of honor and remembrance (much the way Boba Fett does, actually. But that’s a whoooooole other discussion hahahaha)

[ethereal-not-occult]

patience and the mulberry

"With time and patience, the mulberry leaf becomes a silk gown."

Fandom: Good Omens Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens) Characters: Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale (Good Omens) Additional Tags: Post-Canon, Established Relationship, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), Fluff and Angst, Character(s) of Color, Sericulture, silkworms, past religious trauma, but nothing bad happens in this fic I promise, mixed bookverse w/ TV elements, references to Chinese culture Notes: Originally written for the @goodomensfashionzine​ !

“I'll only be a minute, dear.” Aziraphale kissed Crowley's cheek as he opened the door of the Bentley. “You don't have to see me to the door if you don't want to.”

Crowley tightened his grip on the wheel. “Sure, angel. Sounds good to me.” The sibilants slid far too quickly past his clenched jaw, and he bit his tongue to stop the instinctive hiss from escaping.

Aziraphale gave him a sympathetic look, but shut the Bentley's door behind him and soon disappeared through the doors of the church. Once he was out of sight, Crowley slumped forward slightly, sliding his sunglasses up and rubbing at his eyes. A few deep breaths later, and he felt composed enough to exit the Bentley himself in blatant disregard for the “NO PARKING” sign on the curb.¹

[¹ Given his new job position (or lack thereof), lawbreaking was no longer a necessity, but old habits die hard.]

The bright afternoon sun made him wince a bit, and two robins in a nearby bush were getting frisky in a way he would never be able to unhear, but they made it easier to forget the distant wail of air sirens. Even standing out on the road, Crowley's skin prickled faintly with the remembered sting of consecrated ground.

He pushed the feeling aside and walked resolutely forward. Aziraphale was bound to take his sweet time as he mooned over the church's dusty old tomes, but Crowley had his own investigations to conduct while he waited. No rest for the wicked and all that.

The concrete pavement under his snakeskin shoes gave way to grass, and the tingling sensation in his soles faded. Soon he found himself at his intended destination—an Edenic grove of mulberry trees, clustered together in a ring in the church's backyard. He'd spotted them on the drive over and couldn't resist the temptation of a closer look.

Crowley wandered into the garden with a scrutinizing eye. They were young, for trees, but growing well despite their callowness. A particularly stocky sapling hardly flinched when Crowley gave it a token glare, much to his disappointment. Then again, outdoor plants were rarely as well-behaved as properly cowed houseplants. It seemed this attitude persisted even in ecclesiastic gardens such as these.

He cast a surreptitious glance over his shoulder, then reached a hand up into the tree's umbrella-like branches and tugged. The season wasn't quite right for fruits, but he still withdrew clutching a handful of dark ripe mulberries. Hardly apples, but his lips twitched upwards nonetheless. He plucked a berry from the pile and raised it to his lips.

“Zaoshang hao!”

Only a hasty miracle saved Crowley from choking as he jumped and swiveled around. Hovering right outside the churchyard was a middle-aged human, well-dressed and smiling pleasantly at him. Judging by her formal clothing and the Bible she carried, she was a part of the congregation, maybe even the priest herself. Crowley swallowed and stepped backwards.

“Ni shi jiaohui de xinshou ma?” the human called again, picking her way across the dewy grass in his direction. Crowley eyed the Bible she held, willing himself not to break out into hives.

“Um. Wo bu—er, no. I'm not new. Not here for church at all, actually.” He fidgeted and clasped his hands, still full of pilfered mulberries, behind his back. “Just waiting for someone.”

The human raised an eyebrow. “You're welcome to wait inside, if you like,” she said, also switching to English. “I reckon we still have biscuits left from the children's morning service—”

“No!” Crowley said too quickly, and perhaps too sharply. He winced. “I mean. That won't be necessary. I'd much rather stay out here, if it isn't too much trouble.”

The human gave him a Look. Crowley's cheeks heated and he averted his eyes, willing his sunglasses a few shades darker.

“Beautiful, aren't they?”

Crowley's head shot back up. The human had turned her back to him and was running a hand through the glossy green leaves of the nearest mulberry tree. Crowley could practically see the branches stretch out in delight beneath her touch, like a purring cat.

“Volunteers from our congregation take care of them,” the human continued, smiling at the young tree. “The kids here like raising silkworms, you see, and we welcome them to pick leaves from the trees each week to feed them.”

Silkworms. Of course. Despite himself, a hazy memory rose to the forefront of his mind: Sichuan, China, several hundreds of years ago. A family farm, weathered and cozy and oozing enough sheer goodness to make the average demon ill with it. Crowley wouldn't normally be caught dead in such a place, but he had owed a favour to the angel. His fingers twitched at the phantom memory of butter-soft silk fibres against his skin; long, winding threads that stretched out thin and fine, tangling so easily around his uncertain fingers. With this memory came the golden, moon-round face of a child he hadn't thought about in centuries, grinning toothily as they held out a box to him, a box filled with small pale larvae that wriggled among the spade-shaped leaves. “Zhe jiao can.”

Crowley forced himself to return to the present. The human was speaking to him.

“—waiting on Mr. Fell?” she asked.

Crowley blinked. Shook himself a little. “Yeah. He's helping out with the restoration of some old manuscript or other.”

The human smiled again. It was an unnervingly piercing expression. “I'm aware. I was the one who requested his help. Such a lovely man. Are you a friend of his?”

Crowley tensed. “His husband, actually.”

He braced himself, but the human only brightened. “Goodness, then you must be Mr. Crowley! Mr. Fell talks ever so much about you. Finally gone and tied the knot then, have you?”

Before Crowley could stammer out a reply, something dinged loudly, making him jump. The human pulled a phone out from her pocket and squinted at the screen.

“Sorry, I have to run back inside. But it was lovely meeting you, Mr. Crowley.” She stuck out a hand—thankfully not the one that had been holding the Bible—and after a brief hesitation, Crowley shook it. As quickly as she had arrived, the human disappeared from the garden, leaving Crowley alone and off-kilter amid a grove of mulberry trees.

---

Aziraphale emerged from the church around an hour later to find Crowley seated on the curb next to the Bentley, basking in the last rays of the afternoon sun as he scrolled through his phone.

“My dear,” the angel sighed. His joints creaked as he eased himself down to sit next to Crowley on the roadside. “Don't tell me you've been sitting here the entire time.”

“Nope,” Crowley said, popping the ‘p’. “I toured the gardens for a bit. Swiped some fruits, too. The mulberries aren’t half-bad, for a bunch of church plants, but they’ll need a good deal more threatening before they're really up to snuff.”

Crowley stopped when he saw Aziraphale chewing his lip, brow furrowed as he studied Crowley's face. Now it was Crowley's turn to sigh.

“Really, angel. It's fine. I was hardly bored.”

The expression didn't leave Aziraphale's face. A soft brown hand reached out and brushed aside stray wisps of hair from Crowley's forehead. The demon hadn't bothered to cut it since the Apocalypse-that-wasn't, and it was growing longer and more unruly by the day.

“I'm fine.” Crowley caught Aziraphale's hand and held it, carefully. He pressed his lips against the well-manicured fingers. “It was years ago, angel, and we both came out of it all right. You don't need to worry about me.”

Aziraphale still looked vaguely distressed as Crowley drew him close. With the sun setting behind him, framing his face and curly dark hair in a golden halo, he was the most beautiful thing Crowley had ever seen.

He kissed him then, right there on the road, in full sight of the church and probably Someone Else, too, if She happened to be watching at that particular moment. Once, he would've been terrified of such a public display, but he hadn't gone through hellfire and holy water to care anymore about what others thought of them.

As he helped Aziraphale into the Bentley, he noticed abruptly that the angel was carrying what appeared to be a shoebox, of all things, along with his usual camelhair coat.

“What on Earth is that?”

“Oh!” Aziraphale carefully pushed the box over to Crowley. “Mrs. Lao gave it to me once I'd finished with those manuscripts. She said it was a gift for you, actually. Have the two of you met before?”

Crowley stared down at the box, baffled. “We talked for a bit in the gardens just now, but I can’t imagine why…”

He trailed off, and his mouth dropped open as Aziraphale eased open the lid and beheld the contents with a raised eyebrow.

“Good heavens. Are those caterpillars?”

“Silkworms,” Crowley corrected automatically, leaning in for a closer look. There were so many of them, somehow both smaller and larger than he remembered, all white and wiggly and chomping away busily at the layers of mulberry leaves filling their box. None of them paid any attention whatsoever to their occult observers hovering above them.

“Why would she give you such a thing? Not that they aren't dear little creatures,” Aziraphale added hastily, glancing into the box, “but I doubt I have the means to keep them in the bookshop.”

“No need,” Crowley said before he could stop himself. “I can raise 'em in my flat.”

Aziraphale gave him a curious look. “You know how to care for these… insects?”

“Yeah.” Crowley gently shut the lid of the inhabited shoebox and curled a hand around the Bentley's stick-shift. “I've done something like this, before. I know what I'm doing.”

“If you say so.” Suddenly Aziraphale chuckled. At Crowley's affronted look, he demurred, “I'm not making fun, my dear. It's only that you still manage to surprise me, even after all these years.”

Aziraphale leaned in and pecked Crowley's cheek, making him blush red and sputter. Much to his disgruntlement, the Bentley chirped a light-hearted rendition of Haydn's Crazy Little Thing Called Love all the way home.

---

Crowley had spent the past eleven years co-parenting the Antichrist with Aziraphale.² They had faced this challenge head-on, and in his opinion, it hadn’t gone too shabbily. Now, without the threat of the Apocalypse hanging over his head, becoming a surrogate parent was far less daunting the second time around.

[² Even if young Warlock hadn't really been the son of Satan, it was the principle of the thing.]

Still, Crowley worried. He had always been something of a worrier, and that hadn't changed even after the First Day of the Rest of Their Lives.

After dropping off Aziraphale at the bookshop, Crowley returned to his flat, where he commenced the preparations for introducing his unexpected twenty-odd guests to their new home. This was accomplished by miracling up a small glass aquarium onto his desk, lining the bottom with paper towels, and carefully (read: nervously) placing the silkworms one by one into the tank. Once this was done, Crowley scattered the half-eaten mulberry leaves from the box around the aquarium. The silkworms set upon their interrupted lunch with all the enthusiasm of Aziraphale devouring a meringue pie at the Ritz.

Crowley slumped into his chair, took off his sunglasses with a wince, and rested his chin on his desk, staring into the glass tank.

“I raised your ancestors once, you know,” Crowley informed the wriggling creatures. “Tiny farm in China several centuries back. We'd weave branches together into a tray and let you loose inside. Bit like how manmade beehives work, or something.”

Crowley paused. Watched one silkworm slowly inch its way across a stem to tackle a new section of leaf. “‘Course, humans use wire mesh nowadays, but the general premise is the same. Always thought it was bloody clever, what humans could come up with. If you gave me a bunch of moth larvae and told me to make a living out of them, I definitely wouldn't think to make clothes.” He snorted. “Whoever came up with that, I'd like a glass of whatever they were drinking.”

The silkworms munched on. They ate much faster than they crawled, that was certain. In the quiet walls of his flat, away from prying human eyes, Crowley loosened the knot of his silk tie and tugged it off, easing the tightness around his neck.

“You're the ones who made this, in a sense,” he said, waving the tie at them. He laid the tie beside one glass wall of the tank at just the right angle for the inhabitants within to see. Several silkworms looked up curiously.

Crowley tossed his suit jacket aside, then unbuttoned his shirt collar. He had always prided himself on his sharp, modern attire over the years, the better to tempt humans with—or so he claimed. Despite repeated scoldings from his superiors, his Lust quotas had never been quite up to par.

Sufficiently dishevelled, and feeling all the freer for it, Crowley sank back into his chair to watch the silkworms.

“The only thing I didn't like about the process was the boiling,” he murmured. “Logically, I can see why it was done. And you would all be in cocoons, so it's not like you'd be in any pain. Not like I was.” He exhaled, the sound becoming a low hiss. “But still. Never liked it. Always felt like an awful lot of trouble just for the sake of some silk threads.”

One particularly adventurous silkworm had nosed its way upwards and was now creeping over the edge of the tank opening. Crowley made a mental note to devise a lid of some kind and stuck his finger against the lip of the tank. The silkworm crawled onto his hand without any hesitation. Tentatively, he drew it closer. Its many feet stuck stubbornly to his skin, and it reared up as he approached, swaying slightly, its mandibles twitching.

Crowley stared at the silkworm. The silkworm stared back, and seemed disappointed when Crowley had nothing else to offer. Just to prove it wrong, Crowley materialized a single large mulberry leaf in his other hand and presented it to the insect, who fell upon it with gluttonous enthusiasm.

Staring at the miracled leaf, an idea formed in Crowley's mind. He smiled, slowly.

“I need a hobby, now that I'm jobless,” he said aloud to the silkworm, letting it creep onto his palm. He ran a careful finger over its smooth back. “I think I'll take up sericulture again, for old time's sake.” He reached back into the tank and gently encouraged the silkworm to crawl back inside.

“Humans have to boil you alive to get those nice unbroken threads off your cocoons,” Crowley mused, withdrawing his hand. “Fortunately, I don't have to do things the human way.” He lowered himself until he was eye-level with the inhabitants of the tank. The silkworm he had carried paused in its perpetual eating and turned its head, almost like it was looking at him.

“How's this?” Crowley asked. “You'll be able to grow into a fuzzy, fully grown silk-moth, and I can take your cocoon after you've finished with it and miracle the threads whole again.” He paused and mulled it over. “I guess I could take it a step further and just miracle the finished silk together, but there's still something to be said about the human way of doing things.”

The silkworm bobbed the front half of its body as though in agreement. Crowley smiled again.

“We can make silk, and no one gets hurt. I'm a few hundred years out of practice, but I'm sure I could make it work, somehow.”

The silkworm turned its attention back to its meal. Crowley didn't notice. He was too busy wondering if Aziraphale had any old texts on silk-weaving that he could borrow, just so he could refresh his memory.

The angel would appreciate having a new silk bowtie to add to his collection.

---

Thank you for reading! Replies and reblogs are always much appreciated. <3

[rixxy8173571m3w1p3]

Whatever Keeps You Up At Night

Boy, this fic has been one I've been picking at for months. And while it's not perfect, I think I'm going to go ahead and post it cause I feel pretty good about it. There's a few song, movie, and poem references. I'll be surprised if someone gets them all.

In this fic the reader thinks about sleep

______________________

Clouds drifted across inky skies. Your central heat was cranked up just enough to leave you defrosted, but not any higher in fear it could fail. You thought of getting something to drink, but you didn't want to leave the warmth and comfort of your bed. Winter wasn't your favorite season, but it reminded you of him.

Oh, if you would've been in his home, there certainly would've been more sound. It wouldn't have necessarily come from the house itself, but from him; his breathing, footsteps, or the light whistle of his teeth which covered up his snoring; its sound feeding the springtime in your heart. If you had gone over when he was ready to go to bed, he would've stayed up and entertained you. Yet, none of that could've taken place if he wasn't home. So, you weren't in his home, you were in yours.

In the sharp corners where shadows laid, you dared not step until it was noon. In the daytime, though mostly in the evening was the draft which never went away and gave you a chill; causing you to wrap your duvet closer. It smelled like Ricks detergent, and you were surrounded by the night. You weren't a stranger to its lonesome ways, nor were you acquainted with it, but you existed in it; willing yourself to be anything other than awake. Try as you may, tonight's sleep might not come so readily, because you already begun to think about him and dearly wished he was home; on earth; in this dimension; anywhere close if he could help it; except for right now where it could not be helped that he was on assignment and that you had to be without him much longer then you wished, but you would wait as well as go on because you did have a life; albeit a little bland without him. 

At night, while part of the world was quieting down, other parts were waking up and heading off to work; you could do either; so could he. Sometimes you would work through the night, especially when you had an idea itching to be written, but most often you would sleep; or at least try to sleep with hopes of having sweet dreams; at times your dissociated thoughts having found their way back to you. You had never been much of a dreamer, and you rarely liked to dream; you never felt rested enough in the morning after, but at times it was nice; more so if Rick was in them. Thoughts of how he was doing kept you up at times - as it was doing now - and you could only wonder where in the universe he currently was, but you'd almost forget about it if anxious thoughts took over, and problems you hadn't solved reappeared. Sometimes thoughts of the past intermingled with your dreams; as pleasant or heartbreaking as they could be.

Tossing and turning were options you could accept, but if he was available, you'd call Zeta-7 to hear him, and allow his cheerfulness to ease you into a gentle submission; to relax beyond compare, and leave you in a decent enough mood to doze. Why, you could listen to him explain anything from quantum mechanics to the variety of animal mutations which existed in a galaxy far, far away; to be lulled and softened by his cadence, was a treat you wouldn't have traded for anything in the world. If it happened on the rare chance that you were overcome by exhaustion, you'd just fall asleep as soon as your head hit your pillow; not understanding how or when you'd close your eyes, though you were always grateful when you did. However, if it so happened that you woke up randomly without a cause, but from a feeling, then you knew; you had just missed him; his existence being like a midnight soliloquy; like a ghost, he was sometimes there, but then wasn't; it wasn't that difficult to see why, but it still surprised you nonetheless.

It seemed that once you had given Rick the permission to visit whenever he liked, he did; being woken by the familiarity of his presence on more than one occasion. It was neither ambiguous or obscure, but there, like the air you breathed, being a living, positive force of goodness; vital to your existence. Just when you thought there were no other comparisons to be made, he continued to become and shape himself into the extraterrestrial being that he caused himself to be. Oh, some days you would miss him something fierce, but whenever you'd find yourself so alone, you'd remember that he'd come; whenever it was that he could.

Now, he wasn't sloppy, nor did he hide that he had come by, but he was careful. Quietly, he would check about the house, then would step into your bedroom with caution as though sleeping beauty might wake. At times you only caught the blur which barely stepped out of the doorway, or was soothed by the hand which smoothed out your hair, and other times it was just his scent which lingered; an echo of his existence. Once he sang you a Mexican love song, which made your heart burn, and it seemed interwoven into your half-woken state; having been so drowsy you thought you had dreamt it. And because he worked at random hours, and sometimes for days and weeks at a time, he'd come and lightly kiss you hello and goodbye before going back to work, though your recollections were few. It was precious, and you enjoyed it; at least when you were conscious of it. Most of the time, however, you were only aware of the warmth which touched your cheek and of the blanket which had been placed over you when you were cold; these being the other ways in which he showed you he loved you.

Yet, it happened one night, just as you were about to go to sleep after having spent a better part of the day typing, you saw the familiar green glow in the hallway, and then saw him come through your doorway. He looked at you as though you were a ghost, and you stared into the dark, your nowhere man being there; somewhere out of your reach. As you were about to turn on the light, his gentle touch stopped you. Unsure of what he was about, you didn't struggle as he pulled you into an embrace, but having him squeeze you with all his might, trembling despite himself left you unsettled. “Ricky," you wondered; a flutter of anxiety starting to build in your chest. "what's the matter?”

“I-I-I wish I could just stay here with you,” he began in a low voice; the scent of smoke and disinfectant coming off of him as you rubbed his back. “where n-nothing bad happens.”

He had smelled like this before; as though he had been busy with janitorial duties instead of sorting through papers or lab samples. “Bad day?”

“Y-yeah."

Bad wouldn't be the beginning as to describe it; of that you were sure. You assumed it was another case where he was responsible for the lowly, more humble work which his workmates didn't care to do; or was assigned as to demean him; bullied into doing; likely all of the above. “I'm sorry,” you softened. “I hope it wasn't that bad.”

“It's - I'll b-be fine. I just - I-I had to see you.”

A chill ran through your back. Under any other circumstances, you could've interpreted that as one of his romanticisms, but his quiet desperation brought about a fresh wave of worry instead. "But can you see me in the dark?"

"I wouldn't have been able to if it wasn't for my bionic eye. Did I-I tell you about that yet? I'm sorry if th-that sounds gross."

"I don't know if you told me yet. I guess now is a good time as ever, but maybe you can explain it in detail another day."

"I'm s-sorry, I know you were about t-t-to go to bed, but I - all I could think about was you."

Warmth flooded your cheeks, and you wished you had worn something cuter instead of an old pair of pajamas, but you knew he didn't care. Zeta-7 was lovely that way. You tried to think of something flirty to say in return, but a yawn escaped you instead."Boy, I really have bad timing, d-don't I?" he commented.

"Dear, don't get me wrong, I love having you here," Which was true in all respects, though you wondered if you could put him at ease. "but maybe… perhaps it would be better if we went to the living room. I can get you something warm to drink if you'd like.”

“Y-you don't have to do that." he said in a hurry. "Besides," he continued. "don't - don't I look better this way?”

Wrapping your arms around his neck, you cooed. 

“No, you don't. Why would you say that? I already know you as you are and I can say for certain that you are the light of my life. To me, you've always been handsome. In fact," you smiled up at him; unsure if he could see your sincerity. "you're the man of my dreams. I dream of you, of that darling smile, of your winning personality which lights up my days, and of your sweetness. Your unconditional sweetness. If you don't believe me, you can always check my dreams.”

“Gosh, if life….si la vida pudiera ser u-un sueño," he sighed, "then I'm sure it'd be you. If I-I had the time it'd be nice if we could - if I could dwell there; in that dreamland of yours. I bet it'd be swell, and normally I'd think all of that - all of which you suggested would be swell, but today hasn't been--it hasn't been that kind t-t-to me."

"I know, but isn't there anything I can do for you Rick?"

He didn't answer. You moved a hand to caress his face in hopes of soothing him but instead found a bump on his right cheek which caused him to wince. “What was that?"

"It's - it's nothing."

"Don't you lie to me Ricardo," you reprimanded. "this is something."

Gingerly, you followed where his skin was warmer than usual and was raised. Your heart sank at the thought of what could've happened. "Oh no, did they…. did they hurt you? What happened?"

A noise escaped him, but he neither confirmed nor denied. This, in turn, made you reluctant to want to return him to the monsters, but you knew he would go; whether or not you wanted him to. The villainy which existed in his kind and Zeta-7's rarity made him such an easy target. You had talked to him about it before, about how he should speak up, but the harsh reality of his situation prevented him from doing so, and you wondered how much more would they try to take from him. True, he wasn't a broken man, but even bravery needed its encouragement and you were going to love him all the more for it because that's all you could do at the moment. "My sweet, sweet man, do you know what I love about you?"

Passing a hand through his hair, you were careful not to brush his cheek, to which a sigh escaped him; the likes of it as though he only just now began to calm. You continued. "I love that no matter what, you'll persevere and continue to be determined. You're so strong, that I couldn't be prouder, but please, don't let them take you away from me."

The arms which had almost been lenient in their affection held you a fraction tighter; immovable in the way in which you were grounded. It was as though being in want of comfort, he in turn desired to return in kind; his impalpable emotions giving way to simpler, softer ones.  "I missed you. I-I missed this. Warm hugs and a-affirmation."

"If it's hugs you want," you replied softly. "you can have as many as I can give you. Affirmation? I'll give you enough to reach the moon. I'm no scientist, but somehow, I know you could make it come true."

Warm lips kissed your forehead, and a relieved chuckle brushed your cheek.  "The math w-would be nearly impossible."

"So there's a chance." you giggled.

Leaning in close enough, he pressed his forehead to yours. "Yes, th-there is if you believe it enough."

"I do believe, but more so I believe in you. How...how can it be that someone as incredible as you would be harmed by people who look the same? To hurt my man of all people? I ought to get some training and become your bodyguard or something. It just isn't right for anyone else to touch even a hair on your head."

“It um - it was an accident. I sh-should've been paying attention to where I was going. I know it seems bad, but it isn't." which you knew wasn't completely true. "However, I'll get it treated. I-I promise.”

"Why don't you let me take a look at it? I have a first aid kit in the hallway. And while I never finished my medical training, I know enough to treat this. Please, why not let me play nurse and help you feel a little better?"

“M-mi corazón, I would rather y-you don't see it. It looks worse th-then it actually is, but it's fine. Really, I-I swear it is. You've already done more than enough.”

Pulling away a bit, you wondered. "Have I? It seems all I've done is talk you into oblivion, but what about you?" 

"Wh-what about me?" he wondered.

"It isn't like you to swear. I haven't heard you swear yet." you teased, pressing a soft kiss on his injury. "I doubt I ever will." 

"It's not th-that kind of swear," he began to explain, but then he stopped, thought for a bit, then chuckled. "but I-I-I see what you're - I understand the joke."

You noticed that Zeta-7 avoided standing in the moonlight, and while you couldn't really see him, you didn't relent in your expressions. “Man, if I would've known you were coming over, I would've dressed up a little and made sure there was extra food for you to eat. I'm sorry.”

“It's alright, I-I already ate. I finally used my coupon for Rick's Diner near main street."

Playing with the collar of his sweater you wondered. "Was it any good?"

"It um - it was alright, but I think next time I'll pack some food to warm up. You um - you smell nice by the way. I'm sorry if I-I smell.”

By now, you had gotten used to the variety of smells which could've wafted off him. He had smelled better and worse before, but that only added to his curious ways and charms. "Well, if you're so worried about it, then why don't you stop being so shy and come a little closer. That way you could smell like me."

The silence which proceeded was almost frightening. Hmm, you might've gone too far again, but you couldn't help yourself; half the time he opened the way for light teasing. And yet, you had told yourself before that it wasn't so kind to play with an old man's heart; despite the best of intentions, it might not have been perceived that way, but in the quiet of the room, you could feel his mature heart quicken at your words, and the light rustle of clothes as he fidgeted despite himself. He was so adorable, it was almost criminal, but before he could stumble upon himself in embarrassment, you added. "I was just kidding. Goodness, I guess I have bad timing too. At least where jokes are concerned. Still, to have you here…it's better than a dream."

Again, there was a silence that proceeded and you felt the tug of doubt, but he broke the silence with his sincerity. "I-I never thought you - that I'd be so lucky to enjoy moments like th-this. Let alone with a-a woman."

"In the dark?"

"Whenever. I'm s-sorry I still get embarrassed, but you make me nervous at times. Y-you can be a little unpredictable."

"Good," you brightened. "keeps things exciting. Though, everytime you say something like that, it makes me wonder if it'd be the last time I'd hear you say it. It better not be."

"In my line of work," he admitted solemnly, "there's always a-a chance of that happening, but it's not - I don't like to think about it. However, it does make me appreciate that I'm able to have someone when I - when I'm lonely. I know how pitiful that sounds and how much I repeat it, but you don't know how it's been a great comfort. If you weren't here I'd…"

Though the words died in his throat. You had a feeling as to what he might've meant to say, and frankly, you were glad to not have heard them. Rubbing his back, you cooed. "It's okay. It's all going to be fine. I don't mind how many times you tell me, because I know how much you mean it. I'm right here if you need me. As I am now, and always will be. If you'd like anything...if you need to or want some fresh clothes to change into, I'm sure I can find something around here that might fit. If you want to stay here with me, that's ok too. Whatever you need, I'll be happy to help."

"Allowing me t-t-to come here is more than enough." 

Resting a hand on his chest you wondered. "Are you sure? You could stay. Couldn't you stay?"

"I-I wish I could princess. You don't know how much I'd rather be here, but I-I don't want them coming here t-t-to retrieve me, so it's better if I go soon."

"Why?"

"If the guard Rick's have to retrieve me one too many times, they might limit my portal gun use and I'd rather avoid that."

"I swear, I think there's a curse keeping us apart."

Caressing your cheek with the pad of his thumb, he chuckled. “By now, I ugh - I suppose I've become a bit of a broken record, but I promise I'll make it up to you. Curses and swearing aside that is."

"I know."

You didn't want him to go. Not back to those people who couldn't appreciate him. How he put up with it you didn't know. “Maybe one of these days, you could skip out on work and we'll go somewhere. Maybe we could go to Blips and Chitz, and I'll try that one dance game designed for spider people. Wouldn't that be nice? Then we could go see the Jerry's and I can get asked embarrassing questions all about you. How does that sound?”

Bending down to kiss you, he winced but kissed you nonetheless. “That would be swell, but w-we can't go tonight. I-I should get going. I had wanted to make sure you were safe, but it's nice t-t-to see you up. I hope you didn't mind me barging in this way.”

“I don't mind, but I only wish that I could be awake more often when you're here.”

“I-I know, but it's okay. I usually can't stay for long anyway.”

What a shame it really was. You hid your face in his chest, relishing in the warmth and softness of his sweater while you still could; foolishly hoping that he would change his mind. Who would've known he could be so stubborn. Then again, you couldn't find fault in that. “Maybe if I ask the sandman hard enough to bring me a dream," you admitted in a girlish voice. "then I'll see you again real soon."

"I will see you. Y-you only have to look for me."

"In my dreams?"

"If y-you believe."

You pulled him in for a kiss then, pressing peck after peck knowing that he would disappear. You knew he didn't get enough affection already, and he'd have to make due with what you could give him, but was it really enough? You'd never know. With one arm around you, his other was digging around in his pockets for his portal gun. And just as his fingers lightly brushed it, you stopped him and handed him your favorite stuffed animal. “Huh? F-for me?”

“Mhm. That's Bimbo, he'll be sure to keep you safe. He um…my dad had always told me that this stuffy would keep me safe and I consider him one of the dearest friends in the world, but right now I know I'm not the only one who could use a friend. I'm sure he'd be happy to keep you company for a while."

"But h-he's important to you."

"True, but you're the most important to me. Now, something to remember is that he likes to give plenty of hugs and enjoys tea parties, though he would never readily admit it."

"I-I like those things too."

"See? You two are going to be good friends. There's no doubt that you two will get along."

The arm which had been holding you about your waist held you a fraction tighter, and if you hadn't given him a light push, he might've not been encouraged to go. “You gotta let me go now. I don't want you to get in trouble. Please, just make sure to return to me in one piece. Understand?.”

“Yes, I-I-I do. I will.” he answered, before opening a portal and stepping through. 

The warmth he had brought was already growing cold. And checking the time, you were sure that you weren't going to get a wink. So dragging the duvet cover with you, you plopped yourself on the couch and flipped through Interdimensional cable, until you found a movie you've might've watched a dozen times before; snuggling into the pillow that still smelled like him; hoping that he will be fine.

Fin

[sshannonauthor]

As an aspiring writer, seeing the importance of representation in fiction, and having read one of your last asks about rep in TBS, I wanted to ask this: whereas I think I'd be able to write a gay/lesbian/bi/pan/ace character well, and possibly a demi one too, I feel much less confident writing trans and non-binary, worrying I'd misrepresent them. Any tips?

So when I wrote the character of Ognena Maria, I knew she was a trans woman. I also knew that wasn’t what her story was going to be about. The main things the reader learns about her character is that she joined the youth army in Bulgaria to fight Scion, was arrested during the Fall of Sofia and imprisoned for several years, then executed a daring escape, trekked from Sevastopol to London, and rose to become one of its most respected underworld leaders. Those are the events that had the greatest impact on her present role in The Bone Season. 

It was important to me, however, that readers knew Maria was trans, because it is a part of her identity and I wanted my trans readers to see themselves in the world of The Bone Season. Consequently, I found two places in The Song Rising where I could signal that she wasn’t cis. Otherwise, I write Maria as I would any other woman in the series. 

This is just my approach, and it might be wrong – but unless you’re writing a story about being trans, I don’t think you don’t need to be fixated on that element of your character’s identity. Indicate it, certainly, but don’t obsess over it and feel like you have to keep re-iterating the fact that the character is trans. Based on what I’ve heard from trans people, I didn’t feel it was necessary or appropriate to go into any detail about whether or not Maria has had gender reassignment surgery, for example. It’s not something she would share with Paige, or something Paige would ever ask about. Similarly, when I’ve been writing Stéphane (the non-binary character in TBS4), I’ve used the ‘they’ pronoun, but I haven’t had Paige ruthlessly interrogate them about their gender. She just takes it in her stride. 

Now, this might be different in your world. How you introduce trans or non-binary characters could depend on a whole host of factors. How your world is structured. What place trans and non-binary people have in it. How appropriate it would be for the character to go into a lot of detail. In the end, remember that at the end of the day, you’re writing, first and foremost, about human beings.  

Also, consider a sensitivity reader if you’re not confident about your rep. I had a few sensitivity readers for The Priory of the Orange Tree and found their feedback really helpful. They picked up on a few subtle things I had missed, and I’m so glad they did. A sensitivity reader would be particularly important if you’re trying to write from the perspective of a trans or non-binary character, where you’re trying to inhabit the character fully and capture their experience from the inside. (Think carefully before doing this.)

PS: If any trans or non-binary people want to add any thoughts for Anonymous, please do. 

[silvrtcngue]

𝐓𝐀𝐒𝐊 𝟎𝟎𝟏  /  𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐄

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐒:

full  name  :  draco  lucius  malfoy

label  : the  boy  with  no  choice

nicknames  :  people mostly refer to him by his last name  ,  only  very  few  people  refer  to  him  by  his  actual  first  name. 

birthday  :  june  5th  ,  1980

birth  place  :  great  britain

gender  :  cismale

sexual  orientation  :  unsure

occupation  :  hogwarts  student

alignment:  the  neutrals

𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐎𝐑:

blood  status  :  pureblood  (  sacred 28  )

house  :  slytherin 

wand  :  10″ , hawthorn , unicorn hair

boggart  :   disappointment  from  his  family.  later  it  would  shift  to  the  image  of  their  death  ,  somehow  draco’s  fault.

patronus:  draco  hasn’t  learned  the  patronus  charm  ,  but  even  if  he  did  he  would  not  be  able  to  conjure  a  corporeal  patronus  since  he  lacks  the  happy  memories  to  do  so.

pets  :  an  owl  by  the  name  of  tyto

moral  alignment  : neutral  /  in  the  past  he  would  be  considered  more  lawful  neutral  ,  but  now  he’s  still  trying  to  figure  out  his  place  &  is  aligned  as  simply  neutral.

tarot  card  :  ( test here )  : the  moon

goals  /  desires  :  freedom  from  his  family’s  expectations  ,  to  be  someone  who  can  think  &  feel  freely.

𝐏𝐇𝐘𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐋:

height  :  5′11″

weight  :  181 lbs

eye  color  :  gray

hair  color  :  silver - blond

clothing  style  :  dark  attire  ,  mostly  dresses  elegantly  in  button  downs  &  slacks.  he  always  has  an  enchanted  wristwatch  on  his  left  wrist  ,  similar  to  the  weasley  family  clock  ,  but  instead  it’s  used  to  keep  track  of  his  class schedule.

left  handed  or  right  handed  :  right 

distinguishing  features  :  his  pale  hair  that  marks  him  as  a  malfoy  ,  along  with  a  striking  jawline  &  piercing  gray  eyes.

tattoos  or  scars  :  no  tattoos  ,  a  minor  scar  on  his  forearm  from  buckbeak  (  which  by  the  way  ,  he’s  still salty  about  )  ,  &  a  few  other  minor  ones  along  his  arms  &  legs  from  playing  quidditch. 

𝐅𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐘:

parents  :  lucius  &   narcissa  malfoy

siblings  :  n / a.

children  :  n / a.

𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄:

book  :  draco  is  partial  to  potions  &  will spend  his  spare  time  studying  many  various  potions  outside  the  class  level  he’s  currently  at.  however  ,  he’ll  occassionally  pick  up  a  fictional  book  when  in  the  library.  his  favorites  are  mysteries  ,  such  as  sherlock  holmes  (  even  though  it  revolves  around  muggles  ,  &  to  him  are  completely   ridiculous  )

movie  :  although  he  does  know  what  a  movie  is  ,  he’s  never  actually  seen  one  himself.  muggle  items  have  always  been  forbidden  to  him.  if  he  had  ,  it’d  probably  be  some  some  cheesy  comedy  or  something.

food  :  pumpkin pasties 

flower  :  belladonna  

season  :  winter.

animal  :  fox

memory  : his  first  time  entering  the  hogwarts  castle.

𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓:

cats  or  dogs  :  cats

mornings  or  nights  :  nights

war  or  love  :  in  front  of  his  family  &  certain  friends  ,  he’d  claim  war.  However  ,  he  hates  the  thought  of  it  &  would  take  love  any  day.

smoke  or  drink  :  drink

coffee  or  tea  ?  coffee

writing  or  reading  ?  reading

𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒:

death  eater  coming  back  :  he’s  not  particularly  fond  ,   especially  with  him  living  with  one.  draco  is  uneasy  about  it  all  ,  &  is  afraid  for  the  day  when  he’ll  most  likely  be  expected  to  become  one  himself.

enemies  coming  back  :  he’s  a  fan  of  the  idea  ,  especially  voldemort.  he  wants  a  simple  life  ,  one  where  he  doesn’t  have  to  hide  underneath  a  mask  ,  &  voldemort  (  or  any  enemies  ,  really  )  would  be  a  threat  to  that.  

loved  ones  coming  back  :  he’s  indifferent  ,  mostly  because  he  hasn’t  lost  anyone  that  was  close  to  him.

love  at  first  sight  :  he  thinks  it’s  a  ridiculous  notion  ,  something  the  muggles  came  up  with  surely.   he  can’t  imagine  just  looking  at  someone  &  being  in  love  ,  he  has  to  get  to  know  a  person  first.

one  true  love  /  someone  you  will  always  love  :  again  ,  he’s  not  sure  if  the  idea  of  only  having  ‘one  true  love’  ,  but  it’s  a  nice  idea.  draco  believes  there’s  not  just   one  person  designed  specifically  to  be  with  one  person.  

𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒:

what  is  their  family  history  like  ?  how  does  it  affect  them  ?  how  do  they  feel  about  their  family  ?  how  does  their  family  feel  about  them  ?

the  malfoy  family  tree  is  quite  long  ,  &  full  of  history.  the  malfoys  are  part  of  the  sacred  28  ,  &  take  pride  of  the  fact.  draco  adores  his  mother  ,  however  him  &  his  father  have  a  more  strained  relationship.  he  wants  to  believe  that  his  family  has  the  best  in  mind  for  him  ,  but  worries  that  they’ll  force  him  to  take  the  dark  mark.

who  were  their  first  love  and  do  they  feel  the  same  now  as  they  did  then  ?

his  first  love  was  a  ravenclaw  girl  a  few  years  ahead  of  him.  obviously  he  did  nothing  to  win  her  affection  ,  &  after  she  graduated  he  was  glad  he  didn’t.  he  obviously  has  moved  on  since  then.

do  they  believe  that  a  person  can  redeem  themselves  from  mistakes  of  the  past  ?

he  wants  to  believe  ,  mostly  for  himself  ,  however  his  insecurity  causes  him  to  doubt  it’s  possible.

what  scares  them  ?

war  ,  death  ,  loss  of  freedom  &  control.

how  do  they  feel  about  death  ?  have  they  been  significantly  affected  by  it  ?

he  hasn’t  known  anyone  personally  who  died  ,  except  for  some  distant  relatives.  however  ,  cedric’s  death  did  affect  him  ,  flipping  a  switch  &  making  him  realize  that  his  life  doesn’t  feel  quite  like  his  anymore.

what  is  one  thing  in  their  past  they’re  ashamed  of  ?  one  thing  they’re  proud  of  ?

he’s  ashamed  of  being  so  harsh  with  certain  peers  of  his.  however  , he’s  proud  of  his  grades  ,  &  becoming  a  prefect. 

pride  ,  envy  ,  gluttony  ,  lust  ,  anger  ,  greed  and  sloth. if  your  character  was  a  seven  deadly  sin  ,  what  would  they  be  and  why  ?

pride  ,  due  to  his  history  of  bullying  because  of  his  “superiority”  ,  that’s  all  thanks  to  his  family  name.

what  is  their  goal  ?

security  &  survival  mostly  ,  it’s  why  he  acts  the  way  he  does.  he  wants  to  make  sure  his  status  remains.

do  they  believe  voldemort  is  back ?  

his  father  hasn’t  mentioned  anything  about  the  subject  ,  &  draco  hasn’t  asked.  but  yes  ,  he  believes  he  is  back  &  that  his  father  was  present  when  it  happened.

𝐏𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄:

lyrics  that  describes  your  character  best  :                                                

❛    might  go  to  hell  &  there  ain't  no  stopping

 might  be  a  sinner  &  i  might  be  a  saint

i'd  like  to  be  proud  but  somehow  i'm  ashamed.    ❜   

                   -  r.i.p.  to  my  youth  by  the  neighborhood

quotes  that  your  character  lives  by  :

❛     don't  ever  stop  believing  in  your  own  transformation.  it  is  still  happening  even  on  days  you  may  not  realize  it  or  feel  like  it.    ❜

❛     the  key  to  happiness  -  or  that  even  more  desired  thing  ,  calmness  -  lies  not  in   always  thinking  happy  thoughts.  no.  that  is  impossible.  no  mind  on  earth  with  any  kind  of  intelligence  could  spend  a  lifetime  enjoying  only  happy  thoughts.  they  key  is  in  accepting  your  thoughts  ,  all  of  them  ,  even  the  bad  ones.  accept  thoughts  ,  but  don't  become  them.    ❜

❛     if  life  were  predictable  it  would  cease  to  be  life  ,  &  be  without  flavor.    ❜

fictional  characters  that  your  character  can  relate  to  :  (  ngl  this  was  rlly  hard  )

.fitzwilliam  darcy  -  pride  &  prejudice  (  rich  ,  arrogant  ,   &  unapproachable  )

theodore  ❛   laurie   ❜   laurence  -  little  women  (  wealthy  ,  moody  ,  &  bored  ,  who  wants  to  travel  a  different  path  from  his  parents  )   

holden caulfield  -  catcher  in  the  rye (  struggles  with  family  ,  class  expectations  ,  &  seeks  escape  )   

people  who  have  changed  your  character’s  life  immensely  :

his  parents  ,  lord  voldemort  ,  &  professor  severus  snape

[deaneverafter]

Here's my finale review that I'm going to get cancelled for 😈

I'm going to start with saying that Jensen absolutely killed it. Not just the finale, but the whole season. That's not debatable. This character could've very easily been turned into a caricature, one dimensional, and he could've been very, very unlikable. Jensen played him as a person instead, showed his emotions, made us feel for him. He made him make sense, even if it was a convoluted sort of sense. He did so much with the limited amount of scenes he was given and scripts he was given.

But as far as the story goes, I was prepared for Soldier Boy's story to end (or at least pause) at the end of this season. We knew this, and I was okay with that. I'm not mad that this season marked the end of that arc. It's the way it was done, the way I was dreading the most. We knew he wasn't going to be killed off. That left the option of him escaping/disappearing and going underground or him getting captured/frozen again. The latter was my worst case scenario. I thought if that happened, he'd get put through torture again, after four decades of it, and this time, he wouldn't be spending any part of that time asleep and unaware, just to amp up the torture. But after his reaction to the gas, I'm not sure it matters, because I don't know if he's actually asleep. Is he paralyzed but aware? Is he actually unaware? I'm not sure, but all things considered, this ending for him just makes me kind of sad and a little heartbroken. And the boys subduing him exactly the way we saw Payback do was.... unnecessarily cruel. Going into it, I was ready for Soldier Boy to be written out. After it, I'm thinking, if he came back for one (1) episode, just to get revenge, I'd be okay with that. I wouldn't mind it if some of the team had to show up and ask him for help again with Homelander once they realize their mistake, and he tells them to eff off and put him back into the chamber, because he's not helping them (but escaping anyway, perhaps to get revenge). That would be very satisfying. Except, that's not going to happen. He's not going to be able to make any of the boys pay, because they're the "good guys". His revenge against Payback didn't even get to be fulfilling for him, and those were the characters that are the bad guys, most of them ones that the audience didn't even know. Gunpowder and Noir were killed by other people, he blacked out ending the twins, and the MindStorm scene was clouded over with the other stuff. He only really got to get his proper revenge on Crimson Countess. So, we can rule out any of the team paying. He won't be killing Homelander, because that's the main villain who won't be killed off till the end, and by Butcher probably, I don't see them giving that kill to anyone else (and I do understand that from a story point of view). So if he came back, I'm not sure if the story might just keep going in circles, with nothing really happening, and I don't want him to come back just to be studied for his DNA or the original V. He could decide he wants to kill Homelander for the right reasons, but after how much they told us that he's the worst ever (something that the story failed to show, frankly, all other characters considered, but that's a different essay), I don't think that's happening either.

There's also the fact that we missed out on several scenes that could've been really epic and interesting, but were forgone in favour of things that were.... unnecessary? I'm not sure I needed to see Deep hook up with Ambrosia more than once to know that he's messed up (though I already knew that after the first episode of the first season). Also not sure why we had a scene of Homelander milking that cow in a really weird way? I mean, from the trailer, I assumed they'd at least talk about it or explain something. If he chose to milk a whole cow to get milk instead of just flying to the store and stealing a carton, surely there was a reason? Nope, he just liked it 🙂

I don't know why, for example, a retelling of Soldier Boy getting his suit back was chosen over us actually seeing the scene, or why we didn't get any moments of him getting from Russia to the states. But I would've understood it, if it was done to have scenes that progressed the storyline of other characters, since they've been part of the story longer. But that didn't happen at all either. We have gotten no plot progress, in terms of the overarching story, other than that, Homelander and Ryan are even more homicidal than they were before, and Butcher is gotten to a point where I think he's going to take permanent V next season, because that might be the only way to survive. That should not have taken all season long. The whole season was essentially a side quest.

And I think that would've been okay too, if the characters' actions made sense and got them from one emotional point to the next. Soldier Boy's actions are the only ones that were consistent and made narrative sense throughout the season. Yes, he wanted revenge, and yes, he didn't care who got hurt in his quest for revenge, and yes, that's bad. But it makes sense. It's motivation, and all his actions followed from that one motivation, until there was a new one finding out the Homelander kinship, and those actions followed from his backstory too.

Everyone else on the other hand...... confused me this season, even the characters I loved. First of all, they did Hughie dirty, I'm sorry, but they just did. I'm not saying he didn't get addicted to the power temp V gave him, and acted pretty awful, because he did. But I also thought that at least in the beginning, he really did it, not even to "save" Annie, but at least so she wouldn't die protecting him. And, I thought, at least that motivation is understandable. Evidently, that was not the narrative intent, and it was just meant to be a jealousy/power high thing, which doesn't make sense to me. He's shown that he hates to keep losing to the bullies, but that's categorically different from being jealous specifically of Annie's powers, so to me, that was a little out of nowhere. Hughie made progress, but I don't think it was positive progress, because he seems like a categorically worse person than he did at the beginning of the season. Annie, I'm super confused about why she felt that it was necessary to get rid of Soldier Boy, who accidentally annihilated a couple city blocks, before getting rid of Homelander, who's been threatening her friends and family, killing and kidnapping her friends and family, and threatened to take out all of New York. For fun. Why not end him first and then focus on Soldier Boy? Homegirl was one of the smartest on the team and then she just... wasn't. Same thing with MM. Yes, he needs revenge, but he's waited forty years, I don't see why he couldn't wait just a bit longer. For that matter, why is MM a hero for putting revenge and past personal vendetta over the lives of millions, if not billions, of people but Maeve was told she's not a hero, for wanting to put an end to Homelander, who wasn't a threat from the past, but rather has actively been terrorizing her, and is subjectively more unhinged and dangerous, over stopping Soldier Boy, who's much less of a danger? Especially if you don't cross him? I understand that the narrative needed that, because they can't kill off Homelander yet, but I would've liked for character motivations to make a little more sense. Kimiko, I was so glad for her when she realized that her powers don't control her, that they don't have to make her violent. That what she chooses to do with those powers is what's important, that she can choose to be good or bad. I thought that would give her peace. It did. She just seems to be at peace with the violence now, relishing in it. So instead of having a realization that she's good, that she doesn't have to let her powers turn her into a monster, she's decided that.... she herself is the monster. Which I think is a disservice to everything that's led up to here. I don't even know what Butcher's problem is. He betrayed and endangered his whole team, just to kill Homelander, which, okay, doesn't make him the most likeable, but at least it was character consistent. But then he really ruined the plan to end Homelander once and for all, and for what? So Ryan wouldn't lose his powers? Why would that be a bad thing exactly? I'm sort of hoping Butcher pays for that choice and comes to regret it. Ryan has clearly walked over the line and joined the dark side. I'm sure he's about to become a maniac, and I sort of want him to hurt a bunch of people, and then tell Butcher that he should've let him be stripped of his powers (it's what he wanted before he joined daddy dearest anyway). Bonus points if one of those people is Hughie, because as much as I still don't want him to die, he seems to be the only one alive who Butcher seems capable of caring about, even if it is for his association with Lenny, and nothing to do with himself.

So to sum it up, the story is almost right back where it started, all the characters that are still on the show didn't get any emotional growth, though some regressed. And I'm not sure it would be any different if Soldier Boy came back. And certainly, this is just my subjective opinion, everyone else seemed to enjoy it, so it isn't as if I'm saying it was bad. I'm glad Jensen got to play a totally different role and showcase his different creative muscles, since they always killed his villain arcs too early on Supernatural. I'm glad he got to shake things up, and he has been phenomenal in this character, as he always is. But I am saying that I think that if this were the end of Soldier Boy's story, I'd be okay with that, not because I'm particularly fond of this ending, but because if he did come back, I don't expect that there would be the exploration warranted for the character, nor the story development that's right there, and certainly not a better ending, because I know they're not putting him on ice a third time. And yes, there's several excellent spinoff ideas, but even those, I'm not sure where they'd go, not after the way I don't even understand what's happening with the characters that have been the focus since the beginning.