#i really need to read more german literature

[major-toast]

nine books I want to read in 2025

tysm for the tags @del-stars @katakosmos

np: @godsofwoes @dolorequiem and whoever else wants to

[cobaltperun]

Lost (22) - So Far Away

Tara Carpenter x female Reader

Summary: To anyone on the outside, and to Tara’s friends, you were Tara’s fierce protector, the MMA fighter who’d take anyone on for Tara. The Guard Dog, as Amber called you. You had no idea you’d have to protect her from people who claimed they loved her. It didn’t matter. As long as you and Tara had one another there was nothing you wouldn’t be able to survive.

Story warnings: Scream violence, family issues, trauma, angst, certain sensitive topics

Word count: 4.5k

Story masterlist / First part / Previous part / Next part

-I have so much to say but you're so far away-

The room he sat in was the last place he’d associate with the woman who owned this apartment. The walls were hidden behind shelves, filled to the brim with books. Books in English, Russian and German, he guessed, ranging from classics to modern literature, from massive encyclopedia to magazines, and there wasn’t a speck of dust anywhere near them. The last time he saw the woman she was fifteen and so stuck in her martial arts training he doubted she ever touched a book. Perhaps he was, as a twelve-year-old in awe of her, simply mistaken. The room had a vintage feel to it, with heavy table in the middle of it, and two tall armchairs on each side. The chandelier above him didn’t seem like it was often used, instead it was there more for aesthetics, instead, he believed the lamp on the table was used for reading during the nights. The woman lived alone, after a brief marriage that ended in a divorce, and he didn’t really know the details of her relationship.

There weren’t many people who intimidated him. Sidney Prescott did, with her refusal to be defeated by one of the Ghostfaces despite already being past her prime. Samantha Carpenter did as well, her brutality against Richie Kirsch and his father a year later was frightening. His cousin frightened him even more.

Anya Golubeva lost her title when she fought against you, but she regained it right away and considering you were forced to retire, she reigned supreme for the next three years, until she went and retired, now, at thirty-seven, she was still a formidable fighter. She would be the counter to you, a fighter that spent even more time training, a fighter that nearly defeated you, because that match could have gone either way. Thomas made a mistake, he made you angry, he got cocky, she wouldn’t, because she knew exactly what you were capable of.

“So, cousin, what brings you to me?” Anya walked through the door, holding a tray with two cups of coffee. “This far from home?” she sat down, at ease in her home, at ease because there truly wasn’t much that could hurt her.

Cousins… Yet he was nothing like her. Despite his admiration for her, Igor wasn’t a good fighter, he had no talent for martial arts, or sports in general, he didn’t have the dedication needed to overcome the lack of talent either. No, he wasn’t the best fighter, but he had other skills, he was a good hunter, resilient, good with knife and various guns, and, if he could say so himself, he was conventionally good looking, dark hair and blue eyes, in good shape. He could have been so many things, he could have had so many different interests, but in his youth he, much like Richie Kirsch and Amber Freeman, and many before and after them, developed a fascination with Stab franchise, and, more importantly, with Ghostface.

“I,” he hunched a bit, making himself seem smaller, trying to remind Anya of how he was as a child. She used to protect him when they were really young, before his parents moved and he had to transfer to another school, he hoped she would still have that instinct to protect her family. “got into trouble,” he spoke slowly, regretfully, just for a moment glancing up to meet her eyes and then immediately looking down. “With a cult, and now I don’t know how to get out,” there, he said it. He also believed he was an acceptable actor, capable of fooling people.

He heard Anya lowering her cup and leaning forward. “What cult?” she sounded more concerned than anything. Family was always important to her. That was why he was certain he could get her to help him and the cult. If she believed she was doing it to save him then he had a chance to convince her.

Instead of telling her anything, he pulled out the mask with a bear painted on the side. His Ghostface mask.

“Ghostface?” her eyes widened as she watched the mask. “Why? You’re neither young nor stupid?” she demanded, so forcefully he genuinely flinched at her tone.

“I didn’t realize they were serious, I swear! I thought they’d stop after Richie and Amber got killed, but they didn’t! At that point it was too late to back out, they knew me, they’d kill me!” he exclaimed, frantically grabbing the mask and shoving it back into his bag. He moved as if he was about to leave, as if he gave up on her.

“Fine, fine, settle down,” Anya calmed down first, and now she once again looked more concerned than anything else. That got him to sit back down, and he had to cover his face, pretending to clutch his head in desperation to hide the small smirk he couldn’t suppress. “What changed now?”

He dropped his hands, his expression the perfect mask of desperation. “If you can help me get rid of one person I can walk away,” knowing how it sounded he quickly raised his hands. “No one will know it was us! Please, it’s either her or me!”

She remained silent, and he just hoped this would work out, that Anya would be willing to at least hold you back enough for someone to finish you off if she didn’t want to actually kill you.

“Who is it?” she asked after several long, dreadful minutes.

“Y/N L/N,” Igor said, and her eyes narrowed. For a moment he feared she’d reject him, but instead, she nodded. Perhaps the sting of loss caused resentment toward you. Or perhaps it didn’t matter who it was, as long as she thought she was doing it to protect a member of her family.

~X~

No one knew where you were.

No one knew where you were.

No one knew where you were.

Those words repeated in Tara’s mind as she stared at the wall in front of her. She didn’t say a single word since Danny gave in and told her what he knew.

Sam being involved shook her, but somehow she decided she would deal with that later, you on the other hand… You were gone. No one knew if you were alive, or if you were hurt, or who had you. No, that was obvious. Ghostface had you. She barely registered a glass of milk and a plate filled with pancakes being set down on the coffee table next to her. They smelled nice, but the smell only reminded her of you not being by her side.

“Tara, you need to eat, for your baby if not for yourself,” Danny crouched next to her, likely trying to get her to look at him. And she did, for a brief moment she did look at him, and she saw the apology in his eyes.

Pancakes. Of course he went with that. It didn’t take long for anyone to find out how often you made them for Tara. They were her comfort meal, a meal she didn’t feel bad to ask for while you were kids, the first meal you made after you two got together, and then again and again, every time exactly how Tara loved them.

Danny knew how to cook, definitely better than Sam, but not as well as you did. You did work as a cook back in Woodsboro for almost two and a half years, so it wasn’t really fair to compare him with you. She still nodded, picking up the plate and began eating more out of obligation to your child than anything else. She barely ate two pancakes when her phone buzzed, signaling she got a message.

Tara frowned and saw it was a photo, and then her eyes widened, and she dropped her fork, and she had no idea how she didn’t immediately throw up the pancakes she managed to eat. “Danny!” she yelled, making him run back into the living room.

“What?!” he frantically looked around for an intruder, but Tara just got up and showed him the message she got. It was a photo, of a muscular woman whose face was covered by a Ghostface mask tied to a chair. “Is that Y/N?” his voice wavered a bit, as he spoke what went through Tara’s head when she saw the photo.

A moment later an address popped up and Tara grabbed her jacket ready to leave right then and there, consequences be damned she’d get to you. She needed to see you. She needed to be with you.

She needed to help you.

“Wait, we need to call Kirby,” Danny grasped Tara’s forearm just firmly enough to keep her from leaving.

“I need to get to Y/N!” she shouted, yanking her arm away from him.

“We don’t know when the photo was taken! It’s an obvious trap, Tara!” he argued back, this time choosing to step between her and the doors.

“I don’t care, she might be there!” she knew she was being unreasonable, that you’d berate her if you knew she was willing to just walk into such an obvious trap, but she knew you’d do the exact same thing. No, not only that. If the positions were switched, you would have went to Kirby demanding information so you could start looking for Tara. Even if it meant rushing into whatever location Kirby managed to connect with the cult.

Luckily, Danny understood her by now. “We’ll go, okay? But we need to call Kirby first, in case we need a back-up,” she could work with that.

So, she sent the photo to Kirby as Danny set up a Zoom call and while they waited for Kirby to join it, Tara just looked at the photo.

Finally, Kirby joined them. “Hey, Tara, Danny. Tara, I’m sorry we kept these things from you,” Kirby opened with that, but Tara shook her head, there’d be time for that conversation later. She could complain and be annoyed later, once you were back by her side, once she could make up for the time the two of you spent separated, then she could deal with her friends keeping her in the dark.

“Can you do anything?” Danny asked.

“Not much, but the address does match a warehouse near the harbor,” she said, sharing her screen and showing the map as well as some photos of the warehouse. It was old, clearly not in use anymore and abandoned until the cult decided to start using it.

“It’s not Y/N,” Tara suddenly declared. “It’s not her, I know it isn’t her,” she knew it, even if three weeks passed, this wasn’t you. Ghostface would taunt her with your face, or at least show a scar so she wouldn’t have any way to doubt it was you. And the woman wasn’t as muscular as you, she was muscular, no doubt about that, but not as much as you. So, no, it wasn’t you.

She was still going to walk right into that warehouse, because there was a chance someone there knew where you were, and she’d never forgive herself if she let this opportunity go. If she had to go alone, she would,

“Tara, listen to me, you’re pregnant, don’t get both of you killed by being reckless,” Kirby told her, but Tara was already getting up.

“Either come and help, or don’t do anything, but I’m not waiting here for someone to tell me what’s going on. You’ve already proven you won’t tell me anything anyway,” she snapped, glaring back at the screen before putting her jacket on and grabbing the biggest knife Danny had.

“Shit! Tara, wait!” she heard Danny running after her, but she didn’t slow down, she just glanced back, saw that he also had a knife and smiled appreciatively at him. “Well,” he shrugged. “I can’t let you go alone,” he said.

~X~

The warehouse was abandoned a long time ago, the windows were broken, glass was everywhere, and there was a lot of dust. So much, in fact, that Tara coughed a few times when they stepped inside. There were a few exits, through the windows, though that would likely be very painful unless they could open the window before jumping through. The doors they just came through and there were two sets of stairs leading to the first floor, that might give them a chance to maneuver if needed.

“There’s nothing here,” Danny said as the two of them looked around, for clues, for any sign of presence, for anything really. All they saw was the chair the person on the photo was tied to. The fact that the chair was whole was just another proof to Tara that you weren’t on the photo. If you were, and if you were untied, you would have fought back, and that chair would have been at least damaged if not in pieces and stained with blood of your captors.

They heard them before they saw them. The boots stepping on the shattered glass, steps indicating there were at least two people with them. Tara pulled her knife out and turned around, pointing it toward Ghostfaces.

“Where is Y/N?” she demanded, for the first time coming face to face with the redesigned Ghostface, the robes were the same, the mask was almost the same. These two had animals painted on the side of the mask. One had a bull, the other and elephant. A way to differentiate each other now that there were so many of them. At least the entire cult didn’t come to greet her.

And Sam somehow got involved with them. For how long? Why didn’t Sam just come to her? She’d get those answers eventually, she needed to focus on here and now.

The one with a bull just tilted his head to the side, as if feigning confusion. The two remained silent, slowly approaching her and Danny.

“We’d rather avoid a fight, just tell the lady what she wants to know,” Danny warned them, stepping in front of Tara and she had to admit, he did look imposing, even with two Ghostfaces coming closer and closer.

One of them lunged forward, aiming to stab Danny, but he clashed his own knife against the Ghostface’s blade and closed the distance to land a good punch to the side of Ghostface’s head. Tara’s eyes widened slightly, she knew you and Danny often sparred, but she didn’t realize Danny could hold his own outside of sparring. And he was proving he could hold his own, as he went for the neck with his knife, after all, they needed just one Ghostface alive.

But he stopped, his hand shaking as if he just realized what he was about to do. Tara jumped in, ready to finish the job he clearly couldn’t while the Ghostface was still dazed from the punch. She managed to stab the Ghostface’s chest and stomach, before the other could step in. She pulled away, knowing better than to stay in one place for long as the other Ghostface, the one with the bull painted on the mask pulled his partner back and engaged Danny in combat.

Danny deflected and dodged several stabs, but he struggled to find another opening to land a hit himself. Finally, he got an opportunity to kick the Ghostface away just as the one Tara stabbed was getting ready to jump back in.

“Run!” Danny exclaimed, ushering Tara toward the stairs. They were out in the open, and there was a good chance someone else was in the building with them, so staying in the middle of an open space wasn’t the best option for them. Not right now. And… a small part of both of them, hoped that maybe, just maybe, you were held here despite not being on the photo.

Tara took off, running for the stairs with Danny right behind her as the Ghostface duo chased after them. Though risky, the moment Ghostface duo began climbing up the stairs, Danny abruptly stopped and slammed body first into one of them, sending them down the stairs and just barely managing to stay on his feet. He grunted though, and Tara could see the handle of the knife sticking from his side.

“Shit!” she exclaimed and stopped, ready to go back down for him.

“Keep going!” he began running again, pushing through the pain and Tara could see the determination in his eyes. “I’m going to yell at Sam when she comes back. If she was here we could have easily taken these two,” he complained jokingly, mostly to reassure Tara.

Tara nodded, seeing through him, but still appreciating the gesture.

They reached the top of the stairs and realized every door was locked. The only way out was back down, and the Ghostface duo split to cover each side of the stairs.

Tara looked at Danny and then looked toward the Ghostface she stabbed. She’d handle that one. So, they waited as the Ghostface duo began slowly climbing toward them, they stood, back to back, ready to fight the two.

And it ended so quickly Tara barely registered what was happening. Danny took initiative, attacking the one with bull on the mask. He ducked under the blade, grabbed the Ghostface’s leg and pushed him down to the ground, grappling the way you usually did when you were in a rush. This time he didn’t hesitate, and stabbed his knife through the Ghostface’s chest several times.

Tara on the other hand clashed her knife against Ghostface’s, she stepped to the side, slicing quickly and managing to cut through the robe, but not through the flesh of Ghostface’s arm. Her eyes widened slightly when she saw Ghostface swinging his arm toward her head and just barely managed to grab and stop it from hitting her. Thinking fast she lifted her leg, kicking Ghostface between the legs. Ghostface grunted, but didn’t fall to his knees, instead he tried to stab her again.

Tara dodged the blade, but hit the wall and in her daze she couldn’t move out of the way. She could only put her arms between her attacker and her stomach. The knife never came though, as a gasp came from Ghostface in front of her. She opened her eyes and saw a knife sticking out of the Ghostface’s neck, courtesy of Danny. Both Ghostfaces were dead, both killed by Danny.

“Damn,” he took a step back, letting the dead Ghostface fall to the ground. “Guess we’ll have to find clues some other way,” he said making Tara nod.

“Thanks, let’s get out of here,” she wasn’t any closer to finding you, but two enemies were dead.

Danny nodded and the two of them began walking to the doors, carefully watching for any movement.

A loud sound pierced the silence, pierced right through the illusion of safety and Tara’s eyes widened when she saw blood staining Danny’s shirt. She watched in horror as he looked down, shakily touching the red spot just below his chest that was growing larger with every second. “Danny!” Tara cried out, somehow managing to catch him before he fell to the ground. There was too much blood, as hard as she tried, as much as she pressed her palms against the wound, she couldn’t stop the bleeding and his breathing was getting shallow. “Stay awake, you hear me! Come on, you need to yell at Sam for leaving, remember?”

He chuckled a bit at that. “I’ll leave that to you,” he said and moved her hands away. “They hit my liver,” the blood, the bullet going through it, the stab wound, Tara just sat back, tears streaming down her face. There was nothing she could do. Even if she could call an ambulance, they likely wouldn’t make it in time.

Not that it mattered. Footsteps came from behind her, and she turned around just in time to see three Ghostfaces approaching her. Three marks, bear, fish, and monkey, and the one with bear on the mask was carrying the gun. He was the one who shot Danny, she was sure of that. No… he may have pulled the trigger, but Tara was the one who brought them there, she was the one responsible for putting them in danger.

“Don’t resist, or else,” that voice, the same voice she heard when Amber first attacked her, the same voice that so often haunted her nightmares, she heard it again and this time… instead of pointing a knife at her, the monster pointed a gun at her stomach. “I heard you played a game like this once, only there isn’t an MMA fighter to save you,” Tara narrowed her eyes, but didn’t move. She couldn’t move, she couldn’t risk it, not when there was nothing she could do to save him.

The Ghostface holding the gun motioned toward her and Danny.

“Let her leave,” Danny demanded with what little strength her had left as he tried to sit up.

“I don’t think so,” one of the other two Ghostfaces said as one grabbed Tara’s arms and pulled them behind her back. She heard the click of handcuffs, felt the cold metal around her wrists and knew there was absolutely nothing she could do.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” she knew it was over, she knew exactly what would happen next, she still flinched when she heard Danny yelping as he was slammed back onto the ground and then she heard the knife slicing through his neck.

“There, just like Samantha cut Richie’s throat,” one of them said and Tara dared to look at him, dead, with blood pooling around his body. His eyes that once held so much love for her sister now stared forward, lifeless.

~X~

She knew she should have assigned someone to watch over Tara, and now she was gone and Danny was dead. Kirby sat with her head between her hands and photos laid on her table. The Ghostface she was sure was Sam, the tied-up woman she was sure was you, even if Tara denied it, and painted masks, and other photos she had painted a picture she couldn’t understand.

“Tara is right, this isn’t Y/N,” Gale Weathers being there definitely wasn’t helping.

“How are you so sure?” Kirby demanded. They couldn’t see any scars to confirm if it was really you, but there weren’t as many women as muscular as you.

“It’s not her style. If she even suspected this photo would reach Tara she would have given them hell,” Gale gave her a cheeky, though small smile. “Besides, if someone can recognize Y/N underneath all this it would be Tara.”

Kirby had to agree with that. While she wasn’t there when Richie and Amber did their killings, she was very much aware of what you did for Tara, and while she never got to see you actually hurting someone, she did get to see how protective of the younger Carpenter you were. She had the front seats experience when you came into a bar her and Sam were at once to confront Sam. It was civil, but she could feel the tension, the barely restrained anger on both sides.

It was baffling, really, watching you and Sam argue, after years of seeing the two of you getting along. Sam was never as happy as she was at your and Tara’s wedding, and she more than once expressed how much she appreciated your protectiveness over Tara. And then it was like someone snapped their fingers and the relationship fell apart along with Sam.

And now no one knew where you were, Tara was captured, Danny was dead, Chad, Mindy and Anika couldn’t come, or they would not only be in danger but would be able to kiss their careers goodbye and Sam was… likely a Ghostface. How did it all fall apart like this?

Knocking on the door brought her out of her thoughts and she looked up just as Sidney walked in. “Since when does Ghostface try to blow up cars?” she demanded, distraught, filled with panic and almost desperately looking for answers.

“What?” Gale asked, just as puzzled by the question as Kirby.

Sidney slumped into one of the chairs and leaned her head back as she dug her fingers into her hair. “He called me, said I’ll never see my family again. I managed to call Mark and get him, and my children get out of the car. Less than a minute later the car exploded,” she explained, stunning Kirby and Gale. Fury burnt in her eyes and Kirby was reminded of how formidable Sidney was. “I need to get this fucker before he harms my family.”

Gale approached her and placed a hand on Sidney’s shoulder. “We’ll get them Sid,” she promised and caught Sidney up with the situation. From suspecting Sam, to your situation, to Tara being captured and Danny being killed.

“I want Tara alive as much as you two, but how do we know she was just kidnapped? Why would they keep her alive?” Sidney asked and Kirby would be lying if she said that thought didn’t cross her mind when she first realized Tara wasn’t at the warehouse. Gale was the one that reassured her.

“It’s not their style, to take someone and kill them somewhere else, even if this Ghostface doesn’t operate the way we’re used to,” Gale told Sidney the same thing she told Kirby.

Kirby sighed, frankly, even if she agreed now that Tara was alive she still wasn’t entirely sure what the actual reason she wasn’t killed was, but she had her suspicions. “It’s either Y/N, or Sam that they are afraid of,” that was the core reason. “I don’t think they’ll kill Tara just yet.”

“If Tara is alive, they can blackmail one or both of them, if they kill Tara, those two won’t let that go,” Gale agreed and took the photo of Ghostface with dog mark. “Guard dog,” how ironic.

“Even if Sam joined them, she’d turn on them if they hurt Tara,” Sidney agreed, now seeing the logic. “We need to find Y/N.”

And that was the plan, because even if they couldn’t count on Sam being sane enough to help them, they could count on you. Especially when you learn that Tara was captured.

Kirby’s phone rang and all three of them nearly jumped out of their skin, but Kirby relaxed when she saw the name of one of her colleagues. “Yes?”

“Special Agent Reed, we identified the number the message came from. It belongs to Samantha Carpenter,” there was no doubt anymore.

Sam was Ghostface, there was no longer any doubt about that in Kirby’s mind. And either she sent the message to Tara, or someone was using her phone.

There was a chance that Sam was too far gone.

Story masterlist / First part / Previous part / Next part

[perlen-gold]

Get to know your Mutuals

Hiiii 💞 since I've found so many new lovely mutuals here I've created a little tag game (which as been around for ages) ^///^

This kinda got out of control... uh-oh.

Indulge me, will you? 🤗

What's the origin of your blog's title? It's a quote by Oscar Wilde :D

Favorite Fandoms: Dragon Age, The Silmarillion/The Lord of the Rings,

OTP(s) + shipname: Fenrisxm!Hawke (fenhawke) Melkor x Mairon (angbang) Thor x Loki (thorki)

Favorite color: Purple, purple and purple!

Favorite game: Dragon Age and Fatal Frame x3

Song stuck in your head: Elrond's council (but it's a musical) XDDD by Elf Tale Films on Youtube 😆

Weirdest habit/trait? Oh gosh, I'm made out of NOTHING but weird traits... but I guess the weirdest is that I must correct every spelling/grammar mistake I hear/read in both English and German? (I happen to write maaany typos on my phone so that's really exhausting!) Or that I explain maths even to the most reluctant and math-hating people without their permission and despite their explicit orders to "stop right now!!!"?! Or that I run in gallopping archs like a (crazy) horse around my apartment when writing? Or.... 😭

Hobbies: Writing, belly dancing and playing the violin. Very inexpertly so.

If you work, what's your profession? I wanted to become a professional torturer but my parents said no, so I chose the next best thing and became a teacher.

If you could have any job you wish what would it be? A teacher. (I'm pathetic.) I'd teach Math, English and German literature. (Which I do.) And physics. (Which I don't.)

So sad. Also, living the dreeeeam!!! 🎸🎸🎸

Something you're good at: Losing at MarioKart, being notoriously unpunctual and math. Also, I can read really fast xP

Something you're bad at: Remembering things... or names... or appointments... or anything. Also, sharing or talking about my writing.

Something you excel at: Creating chaos and overworry about my writing. Or anything else, really. Also, I'm a REALLY fast reader! 😜🤪😝

Something you love: Literature, books, my students, my family, my cat, and books and literature! 📚💗

Something you could talk about for hours without off the cuff: Literature/books, Dragon Age, my students, my original novel (with many pauses inbetween since, like I said, I'm also bad at talking about my own writing)

Something you hate: Arrogancy, bullying and olives. Oh, and strawberries.

Something you collect: Books and blunders.

Something you forget: Everything. Except my own name. At least I hope so.

What's your love language? Terrible, ironic, biting sarcasm. And movie/literature quotes.

Favorite movie/show: Alien by Ridley Scott <3

Favorite food: Pizza, ramen and pasta of all kinds x3

Favorite animal: Horses and leopards, roarrr! 🐎🐆

Are you musical? I do play the violin and sing. Having said that, I should add that I'm not very musical, after all...

What were you like as a child? Both shy and bold AND an insufferable know-it-all! 😏

Favorite subject at school? Maths <3 (you may hate me, now)

Least favorite subject? Geography, religious education and PE

What's your best character trait? Er, I'm a good friend in need (at least I think so XD)

What's your worst character trait? Perfectionism??? Oh wait, I think I can express this in a more refined way, let me try that again...

If you could change any detail of your day right now what would it be? If I'd be in charge, you'd be all fucking freezing to death while I frolick happily in the snow and bring another brain concussion upon myself by my clumsy ice-skating skills! Winter would be SO fucking cold and SO magnificent you'd all hate me for it!!! ❄️☃️🥶

If you could travel in time who would you like to meet? Wolfgang Goethe (yes, I omitted the "von", in your face, dude!) and Agatha Christie x3

Recommend one of your favorite fanfics (spread the love!):

In Absentia by AwkwardAnnie (Angbang)

Lunch in Thedas by Kaerwrites (Fenhawke)

Kiss Me Hard Before You Go by TheAngryKimchi (Thorki)

Last but not least, show your favorite fanart of your favorite character(s) (please remember to credit/add links!):

(sorry for the flood!)

Mairon by Krabat

Melkor and Mairon by Krabat

Fenris by raviollies

Fenhawke by Marikdraw (original link does no longer exist ;_;)

✨Tagging @saintstars @gracefallingart @gauntletgirlie @melkor-did-nothing-wrong @sauron-kraut @althanair @privatebooth @just-an-elf-with-the-socks @trash-ainu @winds-of-zephyr416 @barbex @aidanthecryptid @teine-mallaichte @pinkfadespirit @spicywarl0ck @jiangwanyeehaw @booksinwinter @midnottart @maironscrotchlessbreeches @melkorwashere @melkors-defense-attorney @trash-ainuand @elronds-library @teine-mallaichte @thorkidorki @theangrykimchi and @glowing-blue-feathermage ✨

... and everyone else, of course, who feels like playing ❣️

As always, NO PRESSURE, just fun, my friends! <3

[concerningwolves]

god I'm reading Devon Price's latest substack essay on burnout, and it's.. it's confirming and crystallising something that I've suspected for a long time, actually.

See, all throughout school, I would have days – roughly every month or so, sometimes two months – where I became Unwell. The symptoms never really fit anything, but I'd be exhausted, irritable, headachey, sometimes feeling kind of feverish. Most importantly, i'd just Know that I couldn't cope with school that day. I can remember these starting in middle school and getting more frequent and pressing into high school. When I did take the day off, I'd watch TV or films and sleep a lot, and then by the evening – if it wasn't a weekend night – I'd be in this weird place of feeling rested but also crushingly anxious with the knowledge that i'd just be back at school tomorrow. Holidays weren't truly restful either, except for maybe the middle two weeks of the six-week summer break. The two week Christmas and Easter breaks? I'd start to feel a bit better towards the end of the first week, then the dread would build up again throughout the second week. By my GCSEs, I couldn't keep up my academic drive, so I picked the subjects I most wanted to do well in (English, German, Biology, and History + maths because I needed to pass it so I could be done with it), focused my revision on those, and coasted by with perfunctory revision on the other seven subjects. It's honestly shocking to me that I got a full 12 GCSEs. People tell me that my results were good, and I know that logically they're right, but it took me a long time to be proud of them because I always knew that I hadn't really tried. It took me even longer to accept that if I had given every subject my all, it probably would have broken me.

As it was, I made it into my first term of college before I hit breaking point. Three A Levels (English lang & lit, history, psychology), dreams of a career in psychology or psychiatry, writing in all my spare time. I'd been very mentally unwell all through high school, but I'd always imagined that college would be my escape. First I was going to study philosophy, history, and English literature – but then that college had to drop the philosophy course. My next chosen college was an incredibly competitive college that held students to very high standards. I had the grades to get in, and I was dithering between a selection from English literature, history, classical studies, sociology, philosophy, or psychology. But I never made it in, because I missed the induction day. Students who missed the induction day automatically forfeited their placement. In hindsight, that was the first warning, but instead I felt wretched for a few days, then decided, fuck it, I was going to my final last choice college instead.

And in less than six months, I had an absolute breakdown. Anyone who was following me circa 2018 may remember the fallout. Skill regression. Low mood. Weeks spent just watching Supernatural or sleeping. Panic attacks. I never truly got my feet back under me. I dropped down to one a level and abandoned all thoughts of university, and scraped by college until I could just get out of there.

And reading this article, looking back at the trajectory of my life since 2018, it's... Eye-opening, to say the least. I don't know if I'm recovered or still recovering, or adjusting to my new baseline, nearly seven years later. Sometimes I wonder if an autism diagnosis earlier might have helped – might have given me the language and the tools to understand what was happening to me on all of those Unwell Days. So I grieve for that potential. I don't hate my life now, it's just.... I have to wonder, you know? What might have been. Could I have caught the burnout sooner? Headed it off? I don't know. I can't know. all I've got is where I'm at now, which is certainly something to be proud of, because I made it, even if I'm not anywhere near what's "normal" or "expected" of a 23 year old. and I have my whole life ahead of me yet. 23 years is nothing, in the grand scheme of things. Remembering that is always a balm.

But still I wonder. I grieve. It's hard not to.

[iamthedamndonutdrawcat]

bau mich auseinander is my number one addiction at the moment i’m looking for your characters in everything!!!! really it’s insane :-)

peter and remus, i decided for example, are obsessed with die drei ??? and listen to it sometimes when they get stoned (only episodes they already know though - in fear of a psychosis). especially peter? boy he loves that shit. he even walks around with those colourful drei ??? merchandise socks. the spookier an episode is the better he likes it. nerd

aaaahh honestly i need to stop. your ask-button became my rant-about-my-own-head-canons-of-your-fic-button. i sincerely want to apologise🙏

a few days ago i saw a post on here that said something like “being mutuals with the author you like to read is a scary thing - ‘hey shakespeare, big fan of your fake-dating au’” (or sth similar) this is how i feel rn hihi. big fan of your berlin marauders au schiller!

*incomprehensible noises, muffling my delighted screams* OH HELL YEAH TELL ME MORE HCS

i 100% agree, audiobooks are peter's form of meditation! i can't think of anything good german rn but i really think he finds comfort in childhood classics like lotr, the hobbit, maybe krabat too if he's feeling real fancy! (remus introduced it to him and its the peak of gothic literature peter has ever consumed)

german marauders are making me feel so brainrotted. here are some more hcs of mine (i'm just projecting too): sirius 100% plays brawlstars during class. sirius listens to ikkimel but is embarassed and hides it. james watched laserluca religiously as a child. mary listened to die drei !!! as a child. marlene has a collection of bravo magazines from when she was 11 or smth. lily LOVES die wilden hühner. sirius has a job in a karls erdbeerhof erdbeere (and gets flirted with by the pankow mamis who buy strawberrys. he's a top salesman though).

james also rocks the sandalen & socken combo. his favourite snack is müsliriegel. peter wears a helmet on his bike & gets bullied relentlessly.

this made me scroll back in my screenshots to this tiktok i saw in 2023 (!!!!!) that still makes me laugh everytime i see it 😭😭😭😭😭😭

ps: i will resume writing the fic after i've completed my 5.pk which will be very very soon!!!!! until then I'll procrastinate by drawing more art :) but dont refrain from sending me (german) marauders hcs

[toastmrlord]

Guy in picture above/pfp is an OC !! Not me.

Intro!! :3

Hi guys!!

My name is John (it's more of a nickname, but I go by it online lol) , you can also call me Toast tho.

I'm 17 and German/polish. Also I'm a POC, mixed (black-white)

I speak German (native), polish (mother language) and English (Not perfectly, so please excuse me when i make mistakes haha)

I consider myself an artist, but I'm still trying to figure out how to draw better hihi (i also animate from time to time, but it's pretty rare)

I'm very VERY interested in history (in general) and dinosaurs!!

(altought I do love all of history, I find European history between the 17th century and 1930 (excluding the 30's) the most interesting (18th century and WWI the most!!))

Also need to add that I'm genuinely a Sam non-sharing yume, don't care if you married him in the game, don't follow me if you post like ship art of him or smth

Some of the fandoms I'm in at the time:

• Jjba!!!

• Stardew Valley!! (I <3 my husband (Sam))

• Berserk

• Hamilton

• Moral Orel

• WWI (Aqotwf ,1917)

• Jurassic park (not so much world)

• TBHK

• TLoZ

Music i Like:

• MCR (OBVIOUSLY!!)

• PtV

• The Used

• L.S. Dunes

• LoveHateHero

• Franks Solo stuff and Leathermouth!!!!

• anything post-hardcore really (I <3 post-hardcore)

(I actually listen to quite a few, but I'm always open for recs!)

(my interests change quite often, so I'm gonna change this list from time to time)

I also enjoy watching movies and reading, especially classics and history related literature and media!

MEET THE ARTIST (me :3)

(yes I edit every picture the same and no you will not find any pictures of me from a different angle)

I have to be honest, I have no idea how Tumblr works, so please please please excuse me when i do not respond!!

Also idk how that whole thing with reblogs works (also too shy to reblog), so this is mainly just a blog for my art with few reblogs

Other socials:

- PLEASE READ MY STRAWPAGE!!!!! (Also appreciate gimmicks :3)

- Twitter (@//toastmrlord)

- Instagram (@//toastmrlord)

- Unvale (if anyone cares about my OCs) (@//toastmrlord)

I hope to become more active on here :33

Thanks for reading!!

(btw I DO take requests, so if you want me to draw anything (or if you have questions) feel free to ask me them!!!

[slurping-up-grass]

Twinks and Sex Workers in 19th century wartime literature

(if this is of interest to you)

So I'm sure we've all heard of Dorian Gay *gray*- I hated that shit, too many descriptions of flowers, not enough evil satanic sensual not-so-heterosexual romance for my tastes.

This academic year, the school has decided that I should read Maupassant's Boule de Suif, a book set just after the french defeat in the Franco-Prussian war of 1871, where France is still being occupied by German soldiers.

The author himself fought in the war and has much to say from this experience, but as we stumble into the second chapter, we find ourselves face to face with "Mademoiselle Fifi", who, as a non native French speaker, took me a beat to comprehend is a male, German, second lieutenant so twinkish in attitude and physique that his comrades have nicknamed him "Little Miss Fifi".

French is a strictly gender-binary language, and Maupassant consistently refers to Mr Mme Fifi with feminine pronouns and conjugation, which is quite an incredible level of gender-bending for his time period, considering that the language requires you to specify far more frequently than in English the gender of the person you are talking about, and Maupassant narrates "woman".

Our introduction to this character is remeniscent of other notable twinks-

Hamilton:🎵peach fuzz and he can't even grow it🎵

Mme Fifi: "pale face where her burgeoning moustache was barely visible"

And continues:

Dorian Gray "made a little moue of discontent to Lord Henry, to whom he had rather taken a fancy"

Mme Fifi "had taken up the habit of expressing her sovreign discontent towards people and things"

Maupassant fixates on Mme Fifi's teeny-weeny baby white waist for a little bit too long and we begin to wonder what might have really motivated him to drop out of law school to join the big manly war of 1871.

The men decide that they need some good prostitutes for their party, and Maupassant notes that "Mme Fifi" "herself" seemed "out of place". She is very uncomfortable, sitting up and down in her chair and decides she wants to break something, so stands up and shoots a painting of a woman with a moustache, you know, like the moustache he is too "coquette🎀"* to grow? *feminine

So after Frankenfurter reminds everyone that this is his god-damed rocky-horror gay-ass castle and he gets uncomfy when people put women in it, they all go to the castle museum where Fifi begins happily stimming and clapping her hands because they are going to play her favourite game "blowing up priceless artefacts".

She created this game after her meanie superior officers refused to "Ding-don-don" the churchbells for entertainment even after she tried "pussycat manners, womanly cajolery, and soft whispers of a mistress hysterical with desire" to persuade them.

IS IT POSSIBLE TO CREATE A MORE CAMP CHARACTER?

Sidepoint- a consistent theme that redevelops here is whether french "women of pleasure" should feel guilty for betraying their country by sleeping with German occupying soldiers, or whether this is just a service they sell to survive (the prostitutes reassure eachother that it is just their job and they shouldn't feel guilty.)

"It's the job that wants that"

They don't desire the soldiers, the separate entity that is their employment does.

The women get put in size order and the smallest woman (Rachel) is given to Fifi, the twinkiest man.

He then blows smoke in her mouth, which is pretty gross, but she doesn't voice her anger. We get the impression he is either freaky, or really not into women because instead of engaging in traditional pleasure, he enjoys pinching her to make her shout, then making out with her and randomly biting her lips so hard she starts bleeding PROFUSELY LIKE THAT SHI- RUNNING.

He looks her in the eyes and reminds her he is paying to be able to do whatever he likes to her.

The men begin toasting the things they own and include in this The Women of France. Rachel cannot help but correct:

"Me! Me! I am not a woman, I am a whore; that is absolutely all we have given to the Prussians."

-she breaks the illusion of desire, this is a job to her

He slaps her. She stabs him. FIFI DIES. The women are locked up. There is disorder and Rachel escapes into the night. The soldiers are punished for forgetting the aims of the war and exploiting their position with prostitutes. Rachel hides in the church, which is sacred ground the soldiers cannot enter, and is remembered as a hero after the occupation.

patriotic prostitutes and crazy, jealous twinks🌈

I am fully convinced that nobody will ever read this

[vryptidart]

rapidly reaching the point where i need to decide what languages Salt and Morag know, and to what proficiency... it'd help if we had a specific country set, but i continue to maintain the ambiguity bc its more fun that way

what i've established so far is

Morag: - speaks Spanish. aside from a bunch of dockwork specific terms and swears, most of her practice is from reading, and she's not good enough at it to intelligibly Mutter and Growl like she usually does. very formal and simplistic sentence structure

Salt: - doesn't speak Czech (+Russian, implied)

Salt is most likely to speak things that are applicable to city life- which is where the specific country would help out. she'd be focused on conversational ease, and fairly basic writing/reading. i actually think her knowing some Latin would make sense, bc of stuff with her mum, even before i realise the potential for the 'tu omnia' scene heehee. im faintly regretting making it that she doesn't speak Russian. or maybe i can make it she just was so off-kilter at the time that she didn't hear them right- bc in retrospect that would fit her really well tbh. giving her something with a strong fairytale culture associated with it would fit best. maybe some form of Arabic...

Morag on the other hand would be most often continuing any language studies by reading, typically novels and academic literature. if she's not picking it up from a specific person- and probably even with that- she probably does online self-paced courses to establish enough knowledge to get to those levels. so her languages are probably fairly eclectic, not a linguistically related grouping, and academically focused when it comes to her vocabulary. maybe German, for the workers rights literature lmfao

i might actually make Morag be the one who speaks Estonian, after all these folklore papers ive been struggling with gfhghfh she's read a bit of folklore and i can only see her reading more now that she can see its applicability to the supernatural world. salt knows more fairytales to start with, but morag will study them on an academic level (actually an AU version of her she was a folklore professor at a university hehe)

they probably both know their local sign language- ahh now im thinking abt Echolian Sign as a concept... having it be used predominately underwater as supplement, but adapted for on land for the Hard of Hearing and Deaf supernaturals...

the core thing really is just Do They Speak Estonian, i don't need a Definite list, but im also like. language learning is a hard thing! true full fluency in multiple languages is a VERY rare thing, and a lot of supposed polyglots arent... actually functional lmao

[german-enthusiast]

hi im sorry this questons isnt in German but im not confident in my ability and I can only read some of your shorter German posts. Do you have any way to learn more than just buzz words? Like I can understand bits and pieces but reading still is really hard for me, I'm asking because of your recent post lol its okay if you cant help me, thank you for your time!

Hi! No need to ask in German, no worries!

It would be interesting to know how you've been learning so far and for how long!

At the start of learning a language by yourself, it often makes sense to choose a pre-planned curriculum such as a textbook or online course (a free online example that's quite solid would be the DW Deutsch Lernen program!) That way you learn basic grammar concepts and words that connect to whole sentences instead of merely disconnected buzz words.

Beyond the basics, I believe it makes most sense to focus on the topics that are important to you personally and try to curate your resources based on that. Be it hobbies (learn sports vocab, art vocab, history vocab etc), aspects of your personal life (talking about family history, queerness, mental health, etc), your field of study/work (talking about science, art, linguistics, crafts, etc), or interests (like analyses of video games, literature, movies, historical events, politics, etc).

If you're dependent on buzz words, it sounds like you need a larger vocabulary overall and maybe going (back) to the basics will be worth it! A good way to figure out what vocab you're missing is to create output and see where you're stuck (though of course you always can understand more than you can produce!)

Most of the time, I don't hold back with my posts (i rather add to my complicated sentences than dumb them down!) so don't judge yourself too harshly based on them!

[djinxart]

✨People I'd Like To Know Better Meme✨

Well thank you @its-the-son-of-sparda for tagging me and for not pressuring me ^^

Last Song: I don't know what it is but something about this song just puts me into a feeling of content melancholy.

Last Book: I am recently reading Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostojewskij and i never had been on such an emotional roller coaster. Its on the on hand so interesting for someone who has an interest in Psychology and on the other hand i would like to hug yet to punch the protagonist at the same time.

Last Movie: George of the Jungle (1997) I watched it reacently with my younger brother as we talked about Tarzan and i found out that he never watched George.

Last Show: Bungo Stray Dogs, i am rewatching it with my mother, we are currently watching the 4 season what means there is no German Dub, its another experience to watch an Anime in Japanese witch German Subtitles together with the own mother. (I watched it on englisch but my mother can't speak Englisch so i needed to find a version with GerSub)

Last thing I searched: The ingredients of Melkfett (Milk fat), we were talking about it in class and i could stop my curiosity. My Brain craved to know if its out of Milk, but actually its petroleum based.

Favorite Color: Green, but on a deeper level i like every color, as the combining of many really makes the beauty of the individual colors shine.

Sweet/Savory/Spicy: Savory and more specific everything really Salty.

Looking forward to: The holidays of a Friend that goes to a Boarding school, she has really little excess to her Phone so i am happy when we can talk more when she is home.

Current Obsession: BSD, its also the reason why i have a pile of classic literature on my desk waiting for my procrastinating ass to read it.

As i also have no idea who i should tag, i decide to tag one of my favorite clients @lost-but-with-coffee . But if you don't want to you obviously don't have to do it.

[lingwistyka-balto-slawistyka]

~◇~ Welcome to my langblr ~◇~

◇ Hi, my name is Alexandra, and linguistics is my passion! Below you will find the detailed information about my language study plan as well as the contents that will be posted on this blog.

• Short version: my native language is Romanian. My current focus is getting fluent in Polish (currently at around B1-B2), improving my French (also around B2) and finding a Romanian Sign Language course. In terms of linguistics, my main interests are historical and comparative linguistics, etymology, language typology, language acquisition, language evolution, innovation and word formation.

◇ Why "Lingwistyka Bałto-Sławistyka"?

• This sideblog started when I was writing a paper about the common origins of Slavic and Baltic Languages. The name is in Polish because it's the main language I'm learning. As for the Baltic part, I still really want to learn Lithuanian one day.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

◇ Romanian (native language)

~~~ ◇ ~~~ About me ~~~ ◇ ~~~

~ ◇ ~ Language learning ~ ◇ ~

Languages I can speak:

◇ English (C2)

◇ Polish (B1-B2) <- priority

◇ French (B1-B2) <- priority

◇ Russian (B1)

Languages I want to study in the near future:

◇ Romanian Sign Language <- priority

◇ Lithuanian

◇ Old English

Languages I want to study eventually:

◇ Aromanian

◇ A Nordic language

◇ A South Slavic language

◇ American Sign Language

◇ Japanese

◇ Estonian

◇ A constructed language

Languages that I would potentially need to learn in the future:

◇ German

◇ Hungarian

◇ Ukrainian

~ ◇ ~ Linguistics ~ ◇ ~

Branches of linguistics I'm most interested in:

◇ Historical and comparative linguistics. Indo-European studies

◇ Etymology. Lexicology

◇ Typology

◇ Language acquisition

◇ Linguistic evolution. Creolization. Grammaticalization

~ ◇ ~ How I got into linguistics ~ ◇ ~

My first contact with foreign languages was my dad teaching me to say "I love you" in as many languages as he knew how to, since I was a toddler. During early childhood, the main foreign language I was exposed to was English, mostly via Disney movies, other cartoons, and, later on, the Internet. During middle school, I took up French, being a mandatory subject, and studied it in school for 8 years. At some point in 6th grade I tried teaching myself Japanese using one textbook and anime, and it didn't even get me to an A1 level. However, if I had the chance, I would take it up again in the future.

More importantly, in 6th grade, my teacher enrolled me in the linguistics olympiad, which I fell in love with at first sight. I had never seen such a thing before, and I was completely awestruck. I remember that it was a problem in which we had to decipher Luwian hieroglyphs. I loved it so much that I continued to attend this olympiad yearly for the rest of my pre-university schooling. Another relevant detail is that I learned the etymology of my name at around the age of 15, and binge read dozens if not hundreds of behindthename entries. This solidified a lifelong interest in etymology and historical linguistics.

Specifically because of my interest in linguistics, I pursued a philology (literature + linguistics) degree in college, being an English major and a Russian minor. I had taken up Russian from scratch, and reached approximately a B1 level. However, I also took an elective Polish course, only once a week for 3 years, and got a higher language level than Russian, which was my minor. It helps that I went to Poland twice in the meantime.

I am currently enrolling in a linguistics masters program, hoping to deepen my knowledge of the subject and learn how to do real research of my own. My short term language learning goals, aside from perfecting my Polish and French, would be to start studying Romanian Sign Language.

[bapydemonprincess]

On account of the magical news we received today, I must request Sebwolf for the ship asks!

When I started shipping it if I did:

Like immediately while I was first getting into the arc the first time I read the volumes on my own gfrufykugl I WAS ALREADY SUCH A EVERYONE FUCKS THE BUTLER TRUTHER BY THEN

My thoughts:

What makes me happy about them:

As I've talked about with @cangrellesteponme in asks they themselves have sent me before... SEBWOLF IS SO FUCKING DOMESTIC!!!!! Like yes, obviously in canon it doesn't appear like it, but you get a prim, proper, old fashioned person like Seb and a fumbling bumbling toll does-his-best and wants to learn and do better, you literally get like, a QUEER VERSION OF PRIDE AND PREJUDICE!!!!

What makes me sad about them:

I think the obvious sad thing is how under appreciated the ship IS considering the arc wasn't animated, and the arc wasn't talked about as much as say the Ripper arc, the Curry Arc, the Circus Arc, the Cruiseline Arc... But hopefully following the anime, it'll pick up some traction! 🤞

Things done in fanfic that annoys me:

Well, despite my own blatant horniness at times off and on and the occasional times I can manage to write a smidgen of smut.. like in general.. the most I have seen of this ship on ao3 following ofc right after the manga arcs came out and going forward.. was just hatefucking smut. Just tons of short porn without plot where it was just Wolf giving it to Seb violently and still angrily and yes, I get that sometimes its hot for rough times especially with characters like these, but as someone who has been around and around for years... I'm like... c'mon, guys.... really? You can't think of anything beside that??? 😒 Get some new material smh...

Things I look for in fanfic:

Tbh I haven't actually had time or patience to look for fics in general but what I do like to see, and would love to see more of for Sebwolf is a natural progression into their possible relationship.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

I have dabbled in imagining many a case where there is poly stuff going on, seeing as I hate sticking with ye olde love triangles of yester years... But if it was like, a challenge to attempt to make up a reason and plot as to them splitting or something, whether naturally or.. negatively (IT MAKES ME SAD JUST IMAGINING THAT WEH TwT) I would say Seb obviously has a few options.. like Grelle or Mey or Bard or Agni... And as for Wolf... it's hard to imagine him with anyone outside his interactions with Sebastian.. but I have seen a few takes of him finding companionship with Bard or Agni.. and Bard especially makes sense because they are both soldiers!

My happily ever after for them:

Again here and there I've explored headcanons with Sebwolf, especially involving future stuff like after the contract.. the what-ifs of Wolf finding out Seb is a demon at some point, accepting it and still staying with Seb because Seb loves him and cares about his precious daughter despite being a demon.. and maybe.. further into the future... they have a kid together too... 👀

Who is the big spoon/little spoon:

Nine times outta ten the obvious answer is WOLF IS THE BIG SPOON, SEBASTIAN THE LITTLE SPOON!!!!! Their canon heights say it all, after all! 😉 But getting creative with the possibilities, I can see some nights the poor big former secret soldier needing to be held and cuddles up close, as I wouldn't be surprised if he'd get nightmares of the events back in Germany... TwT

What is their favorite non-sexual activity:

I would say reading English literature would be high up there, as Sebastian wants his German beau to keep improving in his English! As well as them going out together on trips to shop and sight see, so Wolf can spend time during the day with Seb + also work on his social skills! 🖤💚

Thank you for the questions friend!!!! 🥰

Send me a ship or character!!!

[swimmingclass1978]

About me (it pretty late but what ever) :

- so my name is Ariel / Ane 😃

-im a minor if i ever follow your page and you have some nsfw content then dw it was either an accident or i followed you bc of some regular looking post

-your honor im just a silly guy when it comes to the ghostface mask on women (or particualarly hot men)

-im so desperate for a girlfriend its not even funny

-loyal to one mutal and the other one is low key just there lol

- james/remus/barty kinnes im waiting please notice me

-this is basically a call for help lol

-a hellenic pagan but its new so let me be, no convering christians allowed

-Lady Hecate devotee❤️

-slytherin/ravenclaw but if i like you then im giving kinda griffindor energy? Tho i get tired easily and my social battery is lasting max of an hour, in the end of the day im a slytherin bro all the creepy shit i know is proving it

-I'm fine with any pronouns really but mostly he/she, they is also great but she has a special place in my heart even tho i hate it sometimes and he makes me want to scream and giggle

-so im a girl kisser and ace but i don't think i would date amab people. Its nothing personal just my preference but it also depends. (Idk why i put it here its kind of personal need for me to say)

-my favourite colour is green, but like deep green or like dead green not neon green and i also love deep red and black OH AND PURPLE BECAUSE I SAW A DORCAS FANART IN PURPLR AND OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

-im a yapper here but irl i don't talk much

-i love love LOVE true crime, canibalism and necrophilia like if you ever gonna ask me how bodies decompose and then listen to me yap im gonna marry you without questions, with the respect to all the victims and their close ones. no one should have been harmed,

-my natice language is polish but i also speak english tho its not as good as i wish it would be. Im also learning spanish (DO NOT ASK ME ANYTHING IN SPANISH ITS SHIT) and im learning latin on duolingo (i blame donna tartt). I also took german for 2 years (can count to three) and japanise for a year (can onlu introduce myself)

-im obsessed with collecting little animal figures/plushies and giving them names????

-i love reading and all the crafty things like painting, drawing and diy and id love to learn book binding one day even if my printer doesn't agree with me (update: i've binded my own fic it went at least bad)

-im also a poet and a writer so i suffer from creativity more times then id like to but i unfortunatelly love it all too much 😔 i don't publish my poems bc i fear they are not very good but i wish to be a published book author one day

-if you are a hater or use any of these tags: anti <character/ship name> or pro <character/ship name> or you are a canon fanatic who can't stand people having fun then dni bcz i dont want any of your toxic bs on my blog or in my dms/asks thank you very much

- if you want to share you homo/transphobic bs then get out and never come back

-adhd

-im a sucker for good no voldy hogwarts jegulus aus tbh, amd anything that contains slytherin skittles or black brothers/sisters, i love them

-i'm an attention seeking whore when it comes to comments under my ao3 fics im not joking when i say this

-classic literature enthusiastist and Balladyna lover literalnie to moja zona wdym ze ona nie zyje? Zyje w moim sercu

-i hate waking up but i love staying up all night we exist

- jestem na humanie i imo to widać, bo ostatnio zapomniałam jak obsługuje się pierwiastki. Nie wiem też co autor miał na myśli więc chyba jestem w piździe everybody

-DMS ARE OPEN IF YOU WANT TO BE FRIENDS OR TALK LOL

Fandoms:

-marauders - ao3 hates to see me coming

-greek mythology

-twilight

- percy jackson

-good omens, i love them but considering things that have been happening then i dont think we will be getting seson 3 anytime soon :((( (update: nail count your fucking days and pray i won't finf out where you live)

-the poppy war thrilogy (started reading age 9 and kinda reggret it but happily it didn't caused me as much of my mental health as i thought) (dont repeat my mistake tho) (i'm weird now)

- bsd but i cant remember all the names yet I know whats going on so its fine

-TPN in every daydreaming sesion i gotta do an au someone as the main 3 its an addiction to amgst at this point. Also im making a petition on recreating season 2 so it will follow the manga

-The secret history and dps my friends hate me in atumn because of those two

-LAPVONE I LOVE IT

-low key papierz polak aż trudno uwierzyć, że polski fandom się nie poddał po 2021

-WIELKI PROSTRACJA BELIVER JAKBY PROSZE WAS GŁOSOWAŁABYM NA NIĄ W WYBORACH PREZYDECKICH 🧍🗣

FAVE MUSIC ARTISTS/BANDS: Mitski, Dawid Podsiadło, Radiohead, Gigi Perez, billie eilish, tv girl, i fear that a bit tyler the creator and chldlish gambino since its winter again (i only listen to him in winter???), the hazbin hotel soumdtrack....?, CZAPEL ROAWR 🗣🗣🗣🦅🦅🦅🦖🦖🦖

FAVE FILMS/BOOKS/BOOK SERIES': Dead Poets Society (book and the movie), 10 things i hate about you, Chłopi (movie and the book), song of the achilles, illiad, lapvona, seven hisbands of evelyn hugo, balladyna kochana moja, prolly more idk its late now,

FAVE CELEBRITIES: Timothy Chalalamele, ATJ, maciej have to, doda, anne hatherway(?), gosia (matka z rodzinki.pl), chapel roar, jezu no nie wiem ethan i andy,

HOBBY: drawing, painting, reading, writing, crocheting, diy, watching edits, baking & cooking, listening to podcast, thrifting, collrcting random items, talking to myself, reading fanfiction and probably more but i forgot, cóż mogę rzec, no człowiek wielu talentów

Current body count: seven kids in my basement, three burried in my garden (i do not have a garden)

I can be very funny believe me 🙏🙏🙏

Im also a charlie kirk hater and a feminist full of hatered (i will judge)

I do not know math but my esseys and creative writing works are amazing (at least i've heard) (from my mama 😃)

Kins: Regulus; Sirius low key but its pretty minor (i wanna be him); Pandora; sometimes Barty?; dorcas AND marlene (i dunno how bro it just happened) (pick your favourite gay)

Im happily married to jegulus twilight au with reg as bella that got abandoned in february 2024 (UPDATE: one chapter was added a month ago we are so back) and to a demon james/human regulus au that is still ongoing but id let it tear me appart and i would apologise to the author( im talking about The Devil Tastes Devine by TheBiButterfly on ao3 (it has me in a chokehold tbh)) and to OTB by @solmussa (hi *shy*)

Ships: jeggy, wolfstar, dorlene, pandlily, marlily, emmary, rosekiller, bartylus, pancas, marylane, lilylane, any marauder lesbians, nobleflower, quillkiller, teddromeda, poppy x minnie (i forgot their ship name), evanreg, jarty, kinda rosekiller + lily, rosestarkillerchaser(any variant of them really), moonwater, percybeth(is that their ship name?), solangelo, (shin)soukoku, any legal lesbian ship thb, i also liked jily in the past but the toxic shippers ruined it for me :( i still love her tho thats my wifey

My ao3 fanfic:

Face reveal (bros gonna be blinded by the face card frfr):

All of my ao3 works are currently deletate due to my classmates finding my account - ill try my best to make them appear again

Im also a proud owner of this justin biber ahh haircut I thought it was a wonderfull idea few months back and i do feel the best in my skin i've ever felt since my dysphoria went almost 2lvl down but no one want to talk to me at school now i think its not very nice of them tbh im a great person sometimes

MY TAGS:

#ari talks -for texts or my fave posts i made

#ariel answers - for asks

Thats all lol have a good time or whatever

[tongueofcat]

Current WIP Questions Meme!

I was tagged by my good bro @thebarghestiest and I’m so excited I literally haven’t been tagged in one of these in YEARS!!! Okay, ahem, without further ado, let’s FUCKING GO!!! They particularly wanted me to talk about my ‘FMA project’ which is adorable because I have like… multiple FMA fics in the pipeline. But I’ve been talking about my Dungeons and Dragons AU at the moment, so I will focus on that!

What is the main lesson of your story?

It’s very much a canon-divergence story set in an AU. Which, now that I’m saying that is very confusing. I’m translating (to the best of my ability) FMA into a like… what if Edward Elric was a PC at a Dungeons and Dragons table — and the story of FMA was a Dungeons and Dragons game! It’s mostly an AU, but I will probably make tweaks to the overall story, knowing me… so it’s also canon-divergence? I’ll be trying to translate it the best of my ability, though — so the main lesson is the same as the source material! So, uh, equivalent exchange!

What did you use as inspiration for your world building?

Oh man, so I love FMA in every form (I’ve even read some of the light novels and played the video games when I was a teen — some people don’t even know there’s FMA games). I also really love TTRPGs, even 5e D&D… I know there’s better TTRPGs, but D&D will always have a place in my heart as my introduction to the world of TTRPGs! One day I was remembering Elric literally means in Old English/Germanic “Elf King” and “Noble Ruler” and I was like… that’s D&D as shit! Then my brain went that would be a good fic… if there’s an AU for this already I haven’t found it — or at least one I liked? I didn’t look super hard, tbh, so don’t come for me. But, every D&D build I’ve found is for characters inspired by him! So like, I was curious how to translate him and the other characters into the Forgotten Realms? And yeah… it got serious. And now I’m gonna write a fic for it. Because I have to do everything around here, ugh! Haha…

What is your MC trying to achieve, and what are you, the writer, trying to achieve with them?

Edward is going to be similar to his manga/anime self: he wants to get Alphonse’s body back and maybe his arm and leg, too. By finding the philosopher’s stone. I might change the philosopher’s stone to something else… but, honestly? I don’t think I’ll need to! I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s an actual item in the game literature.

How many chapters is your story going to have?

Too many. At least 20, but probably, like, I wanna say 50+? I’m sick and twisted… and I have a lot to cover.

Is it fanfiction or original content? Where do you plan to post it?

Fanfiction! I write original work too (you should check out my original works on Ao3), but this is obviously fanfiction!

When did you start writing?

Like… in general? Since it was introduced in school as an activity. I got really proud of it when I won a creative writing contest in the 3rd grade and even got a little trophy for it. Dopamine filled my brain from that, so I kept chasing that high… by writing more, even if it wasn’t for school. Then I got into post by post roleplaying in the 5th grade hardcore and it was history! I write regularly now and I have for years! It’s one of the few things I really like and respect about myself. I’m confident in my writing prowess! Yay!

Do you have any words of encouragement for fellow writers of writeblr?

Write for yourself, not others. It’s easy to get a high on others praising your work, but don’t let them sway your decisions too much — maybe if they’re a beta reader or someone you ask for advice it’s ok, but don’t do stuff specifically for someone to like it. That’s not really encouragement… uhh, your writing is valid! Even if it isn’t your primary skill or even your first language — it’s better to do than don’t when it’s creating in my opinion! There’s exceptions like (obviously) creating taboo art or stories that glorify, for example, pedophilia! But… you should create! It’s what makes us human! Do the thing! Even if you just write it and never publish it! It’s so valid and great! Beautiful!

Bye-bye! I’m not sure who I’d tag… but if anyone wants to, you can tag me if you do this question meme because you saw mine!

[vampireprose]

Spoilers under the cut‼️

Lets talk about this book.

I just read it in two days which is really special because it has over 500 pages. I would rate it 5/5 ⭐️

I just finished it and need to talk about it. The story takes place in the 80s in the soviet Union and is about Jura and Wolodja who meet each other in a patriotic summer camp for children and teens. During the time in the camp they fall in love, but have to hide their love due to homosexuality not being accepted or even known.

The book later on also deals with russian/soviet history.

Even though the setting in the summer camp has a light and happy atmosphere there are also many sad parts. Such as huge homophobia and also selfharm (due to being gay).

But what makes the book truly special is the story behind it. It's written by two ukrainian/russian female authors who were forced to leave their home cuntry because they wrote this piece of literature. And even though the book was first on the russian bestseller list it is now banned due to containing "lgbtq propaganda".

And I think that's so damn special and important! As a few people may know I love books that critisise social problems and hate against members of the lgbtq community sadly is still a huge problem in the world. Not only in Russia, where being queer is considered a malady but also in western countries such as the US or Germany.

And unless not every queer person in the world can live their life without having to fear for their rights and life we should never stop fighting and writing queer books!

So overall: I really really love that so special book and I am telling every german or russian speaking person to read that damn book and talk about it! It is so important!

P. S: I also hope there will be an english translation too, because this book needs to reach more people!!

[indigostudies]

18.11.2024 // autumn quarter

made lots of progress today! for korean, i focused on the 은요/는요 construction for changing the subject or asking for something else besides the original topic. i was delighted with this one, honestly—both turkish and chinese have similar constructions, as you can see from my notes.

german was more review, though much-needed—i've always had a tenuous grasp on grammatical gender, because none of my mother tongues have it (and turkish and chinese don't really have gendered pronouns at all, unless you count the written form of chinese), so taking notes on ways to remember and guess grammatical genders is really helpful.

i really am enjoying the textbooks i'm using for korean and german—the routledge grammar/workbook and the KLEAR integrated korean textbook both really emphasise practice and exercises, which helps me remember things better than just taking notes and moving on.

i've finally cracked open the bangla textbook i got when i was going to take classes (i wound up dropping it because twenty credit hours plus work-study was too much to juggle), and while i'm on the literal first page, taking notes in bangla is helping me remember the letters, in combination with the ankiapp deck i'm using. even if i'm not making rapid progress, i'm making some!

to finish off the day, i completed my presentation for the final project for my chinese literature class—i decided to focus on divination in ancient, imperial, and late imperial china. i may have gone a little wild—our professor only requires us to use one primary source if we're grad students, and two secondary sources if we're undergrads, but i have two primary sources and three secondary sources. the research process was fascinating—i was reading about song and qing divination, which was really neat.