#i really liked that episode as a whole AND the poem particularly AND particularly particularly this final part

[chocolatey-umbreon]

MAG 85 - Upon the Stair

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - New & Old Tropes Galore

Entirely subjective yadda yadda. Organized sorta by favs in each category.

Sept 2023 Wk 4

Ongoing Series - Thai

I Feel You Linger in the Air (Fri grey) ep 7 of 12 - occasionally I forget that Yai is like 20 and this is his first love affaire. That poem bit gave me very Goethe vibes. Lots of doomed lesbians in this ep. Doomed love in general. Frankly? I was hoping for more oil less sad. Also, these two are making some v stupid mistakes. Also: MORE boys dancing.

Finally... who was it wanted a rain kiss? You got your rain kissing here, okay? No umbrellas to be had, apparently.

Dangerous Romance (Fri YT) ep 7 of 12 - I love them so much. They are so darn adorable. I like how forthright Kang is. Boy has no game and is such a dork but at least he's enthusiastic. I love the “my boyfriend smells good” trope that BL is into these days. I’m into it, too. The bff enemies drunken bathroom shenanigans was v funny. Also @heretherebedork your boys are couple dancing all over the damn place this week.

I guess we get the boyfriends ep next week?

Hidden Agenda (Sun YT) ep 12fin - The conflict really kind of wasn’t in this last ep. But I guess it was a fine, if not a particularly strong, ending. I wish we’d had the family conflict threaded throughout the series. It would have felt like a deeper more honest drama and the actors could have handled it. They’re ready. How pretty were Joong’s single picturesque crystal tears? Honestly, it's been lovely, boys. Not at all memorable, but lovely.

Quick pitch Hidden Agenda: 

A relatively simple and harmless old-fashioned style university Thai BL, that started out Cyrano de Bergerac style but then drifted away into forgetfulness. It felt like it could have fit into the En of Love universe, except that it was high quality GMMTV with very pretty makeup. I enjoyed it for what it was, it's just that wasn’t much. 8/10 RECOMMENDED

Naughty Babe (Sat YT) ep 5 of 8 - Am I mostly watching this for Est and annoyed he doesn’t have a pair? Yes. (Am I writing a whole revenge plot in my head: "seduced to the good side by my enemy's hot bodyguard" with him and the Tem character? Yes. Yes I am. But that’s way too KinnPorsche for this show.) That said, MaxNat really are a great pair. Nice that Dio is figuring out how evil his own family is. Weirdly, I kind of like this speculation that if gay marriage were legal rich families would use it for arranged-marriage power plays. Can you imagine what China would do with this concept if they had access to it? 

Love in Translation (Sat iQIYI) ep 7 of 8 - The morning after was sweet, I do like it when we get these scenes in BL. FYI no one misgendered Bojji except the caption writer. The screaming "discovery" scene was adorable. And I am very much falling in love with all of the side characters. I also love how aggressive Yang is, like he stepped out of a 2016 Chinese BL into Thailand. And I adore the main brother relationship.

I have to say, this is going to be a difficult BL for me to review. I didn’t like the first 4 episodes but it seems like I’m going to love the final 3. I’m actually really looking forward to the finale next week. Boy, do I feel strange about this. In other news, is it just me or is it weird to get a gay kiss from Ngern almost 10 years later? How late is too late for smooching a boy? 

Never too late...

Absolute Zero (Thai Weds iQIYI) - from 2021, Studio Wabi Sabi and New Siwaj finally brings us this “time loop to prevent tragedy” romance based on the novel of the same name. I think we can expect this to be sad (so it will likely slide down my list as I become more confident about this). Mix is a great actor, so I’m not worried about that aspect, but I am warning you this won’t be your classic fluffy Thai BL. It’s a bit slow moving for me so far. Meanwhile, a revelation:

Thai high school BL is all about the hands. I blame Love Sick.

FYI the outdoor movie they watch is Love of Siam Thailand’s first real queer movie, also featured in My Only 12%.

I'm in trouble, Ongsa is such a sunshine cutie and Sansoon is so lost and sad. Pretty sure I won’t have the patience for 12 episodes of this, but I’ll stick with it for now because a pair like this is yaoi-induced catnip for me.

Only Friends (Sat YT) ep 8 of 10 - Ah, Ray, baby, you can’t get what you want if you want the wrong thing. Also, corruption charges much? Is Ray turning into Ton or is that just me? I still hold that Jenny’s is the only story I actually wanted. Although, I did enjoy the two bi boys bonding over Freddie. GMMTV sure is making good use of Title now that they got him away from Wabi Sabi and I’m NOT mad about it (4 shows & counting). Under ordinary circumstances, I probably would have dropped this show by now. But something keeps dragging me back.

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) Right Time Right You ep 6 - This couplet ended up feeling like an amateurish short. It was interesting in that way shorts can sometimes push into unusual territory, but very slow. My favorite so far, but that’s not saying much since we've only had 3. Kinda amorphous ending. 5/10 watch it if you have nothing better to do. Next week's looks pretty but silly: You Are My Soulmate.

Venus in the Sky (Tues iQIYI) 5 of 10 eps - I don’t understand the bit with the girl, car & eyebrows. Was that all just ad copy? This show is so bad I’m mostly fast forwarding now. I mean the leads are cute and earnest but that’s it. NO SINGING! And... nothing happened this ep. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Kisseki: Dear to Me (Taiwan Tues Viki & iQIYI) ep 7-8 of 13(?) - Buckle up I got A LOT to say. Ep 7 was the boyfriends ep! Look there’s a a lot of problematic going on here by western standards: age gap (FYI age of consent in Taiwan is 16) + teacher+student, but if you’ve been reading this blog for a while you should know that Taiwan likes both high heat and taboo content (and so do I) plus (unlike Mame) they just lean lube into those kinks. And I, for one, am delighted. I talk about taboo in terms of age gap here and stepbrothers here. I’ve never done teacher/ student because we don’t get it often enough (insert sad face). These are not things that I’m going to complain about or rehash, so, moving on...

I found a lot to love about ep 7: tie grabs, smiley kisses, communication, being held down, younger aggressor, AND preliminary research= all good things. They even brought in morning aftercare, and shared trauma! I love a show that’s both unexpected yet entirely classic Taiwanese BL. I love that the family appeared as a plot device and then disappeared again. It’s all highly amusing.

Gaga dropped ep 8 a week early, I’m assuming this was a mistake since they skip next week. But hey! 

Ep 8: def uhaul lesbians. Also cute queer fam moment. Ring finger biting = v hawt. Then of course it all goes south. Tres romantic means of taking the rap, gotta say. No one does gay sappy quite like Taiwan. Also, now we know why he loses his memory and Ai Di has to go in after him. Honestly, I’m not pleased to see yet another amnesia trope raise its ugly… head (why so many this year?). But it seems to be this year's trend. 

And I know there is more trauma coming, but in classic Taiwan fashion it’s all gonna be fine in the end even if that HEA is chaotic and entirely unearned. Don't worry, all. We good.

You Are Mine (Taiwan Fri Gaga) eps 4 of 10 - Oh noes, sunshine has a cold. And not from the rain... just, like, a normal cold. Amazing. But then when baby gets kidnapped, daddy gets v mad. Honestly, I am charmed by the show. It is very old-fashioned "domineering CEO puts little lady up against the wall" and it’s Taiwan, and thus I am not mad about it. This is what we would be getting from Mainland China if China we’re still making pulp BL. I am disposed to simply enjoy the utter "80s bodice ripper but gay"-ness of it all.

Bon Appetit (Korea Weds iQIYI) 1-2 of 8 - from 2022. If you have premium icky VIP you can binge it all now. I don’t, so instead I’m watching it 2 new episodes every Weds. Struggling heartbroken loser-ish office worker who lives off junk food + sunshine neighbor who loves to cook (from his past with a long-held crush). Also there is a "love class" element. Why does Korea like this conceit so much? Do their universities really engage in socialization training? Gotta say I’m getting whiffs of stalker... but only whiffs. Basically, this show is going poster child “way to a man’s heart is through his stomach“. Bit too much flashback, but I like that our chef is open about liking a boy, and I like that they remember things differently and in alignment with their own egos. And I like that we got a confession already. Ah KBL, it is nice to watch something that MUST move plot quickly. 

My Personal Weatherman AKA Taikan Yoho (Japan Sat Gaga) ep 6 of 8 - Jealous weatherman is ridiculous. Japan = queen of “why don’t you guys just talk?” 

Mr Cinderella 2 (Vietnam Sat YT) ep 2 - Ba Vinh & Minh Thao reprising their roles as Dung & Khoa what do we think? 8 eps? 10? We got the stepbrothers (or whatever they are) backstory. Also My Prettiest Cat-boy does certifiable nutcake v well. Psychopath looks hot on him.  

It's Airing But...

Crazy Handsome Rich (Sun Gaga) ep 3 of 10 - The sound. No. DNF 

I Cannot Reach You AKA I Can't Reach You AKA Kimi ni wa Todokanai (Japan Tues Netflix-Japan & ????) - Adapted from the manga, childhood best friends: The cool, smart one who’s good at everything, and his average, dorky friend who struggles. Always by the other’s side, but not together in the way they truly want to be.

Unfortunately I Cannot Reach You, in classic JBL fashion, could not be reached. 

In case you missed it?

Viki dropped Our Dating Sim the movie. I didn’t notice any extra footage and they took out all the in game/high school flashback stingers. At first, I didn’t really miss them but by the end of the movie I really did. So this is going to be one of those rare KBL instances where I recommend sticking to the original series over the repackaged movie.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming October BL

10/1 Can I Buy Your Love From A Vending Machine? AKA Sono Koi, Jihanki de Kaemasu ka? (Japan cinema release in-country only) - This one is a movie from Japan so in customary fashion who tf knows when (or if) it will get international distribution. Salaryman Ayumu Koiwai just can't tear his eyes away from the strong, muscular man as he checks on the stocks of the vending machine in his office.

10/5 If It’s With You AKA Even If I Fall In Love With You AKA Kimi to nara Koi wo Shite Mite mo’ (Japan Gaga) - from MBS a live action adaptation of Kubota Maru’s manga ‘君となら恋をしてみても. Amane has stopped loving people due to trauma until he meets Ryuji. At first Amane just wants to play with Ryuji but… feelings. I am assuming 8 eps and rumored to be taking Weatherman's spot so that date is likely wrong.

10/6 What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) - 4th installment in this series (1st series, 1 special, 1 movie prior) about a lawyer who lives with his boyfriend, a hairdresser, and cooks for him. Season 2 will follow the couple as they enter their 50’s. Slice-of-life drama adapted from a beloved manga series of the same name.

10/6 My Beautiful Man: Eternal AKA Utsukushii Kare Eternal (Japan movie Viki & Gaga) - This is the 3rd and final installment the series. The 2nd season didn’t blow me away the way the 1st did, but I still liked it. I'm looking forward to the finale. I hope we get character growth for a change.

10/31 SHADOW (Thai VIU ????) - this is a horror BL featuring ghosts and other paranormal elements in a high school setting. I'm not wild about Thai horror (or horror at all, but if it must be done in BL let Japan do it). It features Singto (who did paranormal BL He's Coming to Me) opposite Fluke N (who's done a couple horror's before). Also Fiat. Dan suffers from sleep paralysis, and in his dreams he sees a shadow that suffocates him. It gets worse when he transfers schools.

October? Bump Up Project AKA Bump Up Business (Korea ????) - BL staring OnlyOneOf that released(??) as a movie in July but is now being recut and reissued as a series. Stars NineMill and from Idol Romance bulled as a love story between a trainee who is about to debut and a celebrity from the same agency (based on a webtoon). OnlyOneOf have been auditioning for this since Libido IMHO. You can watch me chronicle their BL MV work in this post. Idol Romance will do sad but can do good kisses (Wish You, Nobleman Ryu, Once Again, Kissable Lips, Poongduck 304, Tasty Florida, Tinted With You) but I don't think we will get any in this. After that OmegaX Shoulder bullshizz buisness I am very wary of this show.

2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED).

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

There was a ton of truly great stuff in this week's Kiseki, but this was hands down my favorite. (Pun intended.)

Oh and the neck kisses of course.

I LOVE HIM your honor.

GMMTV's ongoing love affair with the scent trope.

Calling out out new couple's dance trope. (Both Dangerous Romance)

(Last week) 

[boilbluedenim]

Over the liminal mindscape

I love and hate how this show's ending is completely left up to interpretation, mainly because of Wirt and Greg's potential deaths and how that makes me feel about the show as a whole. It attaches a sort of bittersweet feeling to it which I'm not too sure about. more on that soon though.

Anyway, when paying even just an inkling of attention to this show, you can almost immediately connect the dots and come to the conclusion that none of the adventures (for the most part) actually happened. This conclusion is heavily drawn from the frames we see at the very beginning, of Wirt, Greg, and Jason Funderburker (the frog) drowning. (ep 1)

and from the frames where Wirt wakes up in the water after having said goodbye to Beatrice, saving his brother and the frog by carrying them both out of the water. (ep 10)

Taking into account that Wirt, Greg, and Funderburker all fell into the water moments before almost getting hit by a train, which we discover in episode 9; Into The Unknown, I think it's pretty safe to assume that this is, in fact, the case and that OTGW takes place in either a mental space or a physical limbo, occurring while they are all in the process of drowning.

Another thing I'd like to mention is that OTGW is heavily based off of Dante's Inferno, which, in the simplest of summaries, is a poem about a journey that begins in a forest, leads through hell, and eventually into heaven, hence the theorized death I mentioned earlier. It's actually pretty easy to spot where these references and homages lie, for example, the formula of the story is somewhat similar, and the characters take on similar roles. (for example, Virgil: Beatrice/Woodsman(?)or even Greg in some cases, Beatrice: Sara, Dante: Wirt.) (please read Inferno or a summary of it to fully understand this if you haven't already because it's actually really interesting).

Rewatching OTGW with this in mind led me to realize a lot of things that I originally passed off as unique writing choices with no actual meaning behind them. Then again that could be the case but what's the fun in assuming that?

Upon entering the unknown, we're launched into a universe with a seemingly ever-changing time period. Characters talk funny and fancy, dress and act as if they're from the 1600s-1700s, and none of our protagonists seem particularly fazed by this (except for Beatrice, occasionally) with Greg using a phrase such as "brother o'mine" and Wirt's dramatic poetic rambles. Everything feels very inspired while also being all over the place, almost as if it's been composed from memories, lying in the pits of somebody's mind...

Wirt is a Huge Nerd.

If I am to believe that this show takes place in one of our protagonists' minds, which I do in fact believe, then I would say that that protagonist has to be Wirt. Wirt has a tendency to go on poetic spiels, even dropping two of them in the very first episode. Accompanied by his teenage boy dread (being a nerd at 14 is tough) and his overextending knowledge about curious things, which he showcases in his exclaim at Beatrice's ability to talk and his comment about one of the rooms in Endicott's mansion (below), It becomes a glaring possibility that OTGW is primarily from Wirt's point of view, with the Unknown existing solely in his head.

I've actually seen this point argued before, with some people mentioning the black turtles on the poster in Wirt's room or just his entire room in general. However, if true, that doesn't really answer the question of whether the unknown exists as a physical space or a mental one, having no supernatural effects on the real world.

2. The Implications of the Bell

Okay, so, listen.

I hate to be the kind of person who goes "Well it's probably just a fun and silly bit that doesn't actually mean anything." but I'm gonna be that person anyway, or at least I'm not going to assume character death because I don't want to and free will is a thing blablablabla. I will however be serious for a second and try to provide a tangible reason for why I think this scene doesn't have any real-world implications.

For one, this scene immediately jumpcuts to a voiceover, followed by scenes that serve as conclusions for the stories of the characters we've met along the way, all of them being positive. I think this serves the purpose of letting us know the story did in fact have a good ending, with Wirt learning how to treat his brother with respect. I also think that ties into the theory above.

Not only does the unknown serve as a mental limbo but it also serves as a lesson for Wirt in particular. This journey is riddled with self-critique, characterized as Beatrice, all the while Wirt is drowning and realizing he's not only failed himself but his brother as well.

3. The Beast

Surprisingly I haven't mentioned the beast yet even though he's very important to the story. The beast represents a couple of things, one being death and two being the overarching, real-world problem. Those may sound like the same thing, and honestly, they are depending on what you think the problem is. To me, it's Wirt's relationship with, and treatment of Greg in the real world that bleeds into the universe of the unknown.

The exchange that Wirt has with the beast at the end of episode 10 fully encapsulates his character growth. The characters his mind has created have actually taught him something, that being; wallowing in sorrow and accepting your fate is just going to lead you further down this winding path, or in this case, to the bottom of this lake. You will never get home.

Unlike I've seen others suggest, this is not a story of a boy failing and dying while so wrapped up in his own fantasy, eventually residing in a false heaven. Instead, everything is put back where it needs to be.

From the forest, through the unknown, and finally, back home.

[lollytea]

in regards to that text post you tagged as hunlow followed by "listen to me". i have a chair. i am sitting down. i'm listening if you want to explain.

Waaah I am all jumbled up so this is not gonna be very eloquent but lemme do a little word vomit here.

Anyway. The poem 'Yes & No' by Natalie Wee and the complete huntlow overload it gives me every time I read it.

It works from both their perspectives on how they view the other person. Those parallels do be paralleling. I might blabber about it from Hunter's POV....another day. But because the poem is written by a woman and refers to a 'Him' lets focus on Willow's side of things. It's the side that gives me the most brainrot anyway. I really do love a good subversion. A girl who thinks she is too monstrous for a boy whom she views as too gentle.

I think very often about Willow's relationship with her own powers. The show went somewhat into depth about how being 'Half a Witch' destroyed her confidence. The part of her that could not excel at anything that wasn't plant-centric. There's nothing particularly complex about her feelings of inferiority. It's very easy to understand. She's Mildred Hubble coded.

HOWEVER it's also shown in her debut episode that Willow losing control of her emotions can lead to big destructive outbursts. This is the part that was touched on as a conflict in For the Future, but was never really explored at length.

This ability of hers is extremely dangerous. She can severely hurt both herself and the people around her. Surely, that must be a frightening reality for a little girl to live with.

I wonder when these outbursts first started. I wonder if that incident in the detention pit was the first time her own magic nearly killed her. I wonder if something happened on the day of Amity's birthday party when little Willow felt like she had lost everything. I wonder a lot of things. But mostly I wonder how being like this since she was young has effected Willow's mindset, her behaviour and her complexes. What does she think of herself? Is she afraid of what she's capable of? Is she afraid of her own emotions?

Anyway, with that in mind. Here is the poem. Beat by beat.

reasons to not kiss him:

1. you weren’t raised to love tender.

Willow was born and raised to be a sweet gentle girl with a soft spot for plants. She's silly and lighthearted yet mature for her age and tries to remain rational in irrational situations. She allows hugs from Gus and she allows Luz's touchy affection and cooing over how cute she is.

But by "love tender", I interpret it as Willow not knowing how to love and be loved in a way that puts her in a vulnerable position. The bleeding open wound kind of love. She's already been thrown away once in her life like she's something disposable so she has decided that it will inevitably happen again. Willow has already braced herself for Luz and Gus finding other friends and leaving her behind. She's loved them so sweetly this whole time but she's always been keeping them at arm's length, scared to pour too much of her heart into their hands. She's simply savouring the time she has with them until they drift away.

But Hunter is a different story. There is something about him that demands she love tender. And it's terrifying that she feels the pressure to do so. And it's even more terrifying that she so badly wants to.

2. when he’s around all you do is tremble. when he’s around you want to get on your knees. look how much power he has over you. it’s dangerous.

Willow is a girl who has been carelessly discarded like her feelings meant nothing, made to feel like she was a waste of an existence and who is also deathly afraid of herself and the unstable magical battery pulsing inside of her. This results in having to lock up her more reckless emotions in order to keep everyone safe, but also to protect her own heart. She's gotten good at it. And she's also now perceived as an iron clad witch who cannot be weakened.

But the presence of Hunter reveals something very concerning. She can be weakened. His smile and his voice and his entire disposition is a breach of the barriers she has spent years building. He is capable of puncturing her clean through. And the part that makes her lips tighetn is that he's not even aware of it.

It doesn't sound so foreboding on the surface. So what if he can make her smile until she can't stop smiling? So what if he can make her laugh until she's breathless? But then she'd have to regain herself and realize that as harmless as that is, it's a result of her losing control of her emotions. Which she rarely does anymore. And it's all because of him with his soft eyes and his kind smile and his shy adoration for her.

And if he can do that, he can do far worse to her. That's the scary part.

3. he’s too good at forgiving and you’re too good at violence.

4. you know what they say about monsters. you know what happens to the boys who love them. are you going to do that to him?

5. your hands don’t know how to be gentle. think about the last beautiful thing that shattered in your palms. the fresh rosebuds crumbling between your fingers like a bruise. you wolf-boy, you war machine. you wouldn’t know how to hold something magic and not destroy it.

Willow is not stupid. She's not unobservant. Hunter did not need to stay a word for her to realize that he is a boy who has been wronged by someone who he loved with his whole aching heart. He has been hurt in a way that will leave his heart aching forever and ever.

But it's a sharp sting to know that in spite of that, he continues to fall deeply in love with every person who shows him compassion. Nothing can burn out his warm glow. He loves and he loves until he's sick with the stuff. And Willow doesn't know how he does it, but his glow is so nice to graze in. Once you get too close to him, you don't want to leave.

When Willow hugs him, his fingers tentatively twist into the sleeves of her cardigan. She sees how he looks at her and she knows he'd like nothing more than to squeeze her tight and drown in her.

He's in love with Willow the way he's in love with everything and she desperately wants to give him everything.

She wants to place her hands on his cheeks and watch as she melts into her palms, finally satiated after all he had been starving for.

She wants to fall in love with him.

But she can't. Because she knows he'd fall in love with her too.

And then eventually, she would hurt him. Like he had been hurt before.

She can't trust herself to not hurt him.

And in the aftermath of the hurt, she would cry herself hoarse with ragged apologies.

And because she was kind and because he knows she didn't mean to hurt him, he would squeeze her tight and say "It's okay."

Then she'd hurt him again.

"It's okay."

And again.

"It's okay."

A painful cycle that spins until there's barely of him left.

And Willow is scared that by that point that she'll be too weak for his soft eyes to ever let him go.

She doesn't know what will become of her.

She doesn't want to find out.

So to stay on the safe side, they will never begin.

6. if you hurt him it might kill you

7. if you hurt him you might kill yourself.

8. you are very bad at rehabilitation. this is one addiction you’d fail to give up. he’s going to ruin you for all other kisses and all other boys and you’ll spend the rest of your life trying to forget his name.

Willow has analyzed the situation and she's come to the conclusion that if she allowed this sweet boy entry to her briar n' bramble guarded heart, they'd bend to his will, clearing a path to the delicate structure. And once he holds it in his hands, he'll leave his fingerprints all over it.

This is the damage she's talking about.

The damage he can do to her.

9. you still aren’t sure he isn’t a dream.

10. if you kiss him, you might wake up.

You would think, with all this lamenting Willow does over Hunter's existence, that he's making her miserable.

Far from it.

She's reluctant to admit it, even to herself, but she's already addicted to whatever it is that he's emanating. Like a flower stretching towards the sunlight.

Sometimes he doesn't feel feel.

Typical of an overthinker to not believe that could be as wonderful as it seems.

In an ideal world, they could both make each other happy.

If she doesn't ruin everything.

Mistletoe kisses. Parasitic in nature.

What if she leeches all the light left in him?

What if a kiss is her wakeup call?

reasons to kiss him:

1. because he’s beautiful.

He's so beautiful.

2. because he asked.

He's begging. He's begging every time he looks at her. He certainly doesn't mean to. Nor does he know that he's doing it. But somehow, without saying a word, he has crumbled to his knees begging for her to pour of a little of her heart into his lips to warm his blood.

He wants her to love tender and be loved raw. And he wants to do the same.

And if she said no, he would simply reply "that's okay."

But she doesn't want to say no.

She wants to give him everything.

That's the problem.

And even worse....she is pretty sure she is about to crack.

She will give him everything.

Because...

3. because he preceded please with, i’m not afraid of you.

[emohorseboy]

I'm so interested in all of your posts about mad liberation. I've never seen anything that puts my thoughts on the whole psych complex into words. I'm really curious to learn more about this. No pressure if not, but do you happen to know of any more comprehensive resources on this? Like books maybe?

Hi, I can definitely give you some recs! My list is a little bit UK centric because that's where I'm based but hopefully it's useful:

In terms of books:

I read 'Mad World: The Politics of Mental Health' by Micha Frazer-Carroll this summer and I can't recommend it enough.

I'm also making my way through 'Call Me Crazy: Stories from the Mad Movement' by Irit Shimrat, which I think is out of print but can be read as a PDF here (hopefully)

I've only dipped in and out of his books for my dissertation but Andrew Scull has written several well regarded books about the history of psychiatry ('Museums of Madness' is the one I've read bits of, 'Desperate Remedies' is on my TBR)

Some books on my TBR: 'The Protest Psychosis: How Schizophrenia Became a Black Disease' by Johnathan Metzl, 'Drop the Disorder!', 'Searching for a Rose Garden: Challenging Psychiatry, Fostering Mad Studies', 'Anatomy of an Epidemic' by Robert Whitaker

Some really good articles:

'Abolition Must Include Psychiatry' by Stella Akua Mensah

'Mad Activists: The Language We Use Reflects Our Desire for Change' by Lisa Archibold

'Not a naughty child: people’s experiences of service responses to self-injury' by Alison Faulkner and Rachel Rowan Olive

More resources!

The Campaign for Psychiatric Abolition - UK based, they have a lot of really great resources including an extensive recommended reading list, a Psych Abolition 101 Zine, and a resource for making a crisis support plan.

Asylum Magazine - again UK based, radical mental health magazine. To read full issues you need to subscribe (I recently paid for a subscription for a year of digital editions for £10, physical copies are a bit more) but the website has plenty of articles that you can read for free so well worth exploring.

Psych Survivor Archive - US based this time, there is so much on here, the Psych Survivor Zine is the main event but they also have a really great resource list (some of the links are dead though).

Mad in America - publish a lot of really interesting and impactful stuff on their website, I also really like their podcast (particularly recommend this episode about ECT, this one about esketamine, and this one about 'prolonged grief disorder'). There is also Mad in the UK and a number of other country specific sites that exist as part of their Mad in the World Network.

Folks to follow:

Dolly Sen - UK based artist who does and is doing a lot of cool stuff, notably at the moment they are the lead artist for the Birdsong From Inobservable Worlds project. This podcast episode they did is also great.

Nicole / lacey_art_ - another UK based artist, she wrote a poem about a bird recently that I can't stop thinking about (she does a lot of other cool things too).

Rachel Rowan Olive - brilliant and funny artist, she is also on instagram and etsy.

Luna Tic - artist and activist who has been involved with a lot of really brilliant stuff, including the successful StopSIM Coalition here in the UK which managed to bring an end to SIM.

There are so many more I could name and so many more things I could recommend but this post is already so long! I really hope it was helpful. I started trying to be brief and then gave up but I did cut out a fiction and literature recs section because I thought that was overkill lmao. Thank you for giving me an excuse to make this list I had a great time.

Learning about the Mad and psych survivor movements has been so transformative and empowering for me and I could honestly talk about it all day. Please do feel free to send me a message if you want to chat about it more!

[o-uncle-newt]

I promise I didn't forget about this, just want to do it justice!

I totally agree that it's not as hard as I made it out to be to find episodes that are mostly great sketches (or even entirely great)- and I personally think S6 is a particularly mid season so I usually just ignore it with the exception of the sublime piano musical. But S2-4 are generally excellent and that's usually where I get my airplane/dentist/grocery store drive/etc listening from.

In terms of your excellent point about the more character driven element, I'd say a couple of things, one of which relates to the other thing we were talking about. The first is that I genuinely think that JF's biggest talent is his story construction. I don't only mean plot- I mean in sketch form as well. The thing that I think makes his sketches particularly good is that he's really good at finding the shape of the sketch- and that extends, as you point out, to finding the shapes of ongoing stories as sketch themes repeat over time. Bringing back a popular character (or even just one that he likes) never really feels gratuitous in the way that these things sometimes can- he's really good at figuring out how to convey whatever idea has sparked the sketch he's working on most effectively.

And that leads to another point, which is that his observational comedy sketches (like pretty much everyone's) are only as good as their construction. There are very few things that any comic is observing for the first time, and so it always comes down to delivery- and as you note JF's generally really good at developing micro-characters and micro-stories in order to do that. Take the seashell sketch- the two observational comedy points there are "well people THINK you shouldn't sell seashells on the seashore but of course it's the best place to do it" and "management consultants SUCK, don't they?". The first is a fun point, the second needs a bit of finesse so as not to come across too blatant and therefore obnoxious (especially as their idea is the usual "shower thought" one that JF is trying to debunk), and the excellent framing device of this sketch allows both of them to be built into one of his best sketches- having the first point be explained via tongue-twister-like poem, having it be set clearly in the world of nursery rhymes and with very rhythmic dialogue even besides the poem, the management consultants being cartoonishly obnoxious in their own right even besides their idea... just in general it builds up a whole mini-world that beautifully conveys everything the sketch is trying to do in a way that takes different observational points and integrates them into a whole story.

(I'd also note- this is also SO down to his incredible crew of actors. He writes for their voices and they have a lot of fantastic voices. He really gets the rhythm of how people speak and it's just great. The fact that he also knows EXACTLY how to write for himself helps too.)

And that brings me back to that final point, about the kind of sketch of his I DON'T like. He's actually talked a bit semi-autobiographically (I assume?) in... I think it was Now Show segments about how he grew up largely atheist/agnostic in British schools that had sort of everpresent religious content, and about the UK being a basically Christian country (in the context of "conservatives need to stop moaning about how it's not a Christian country, and tied in with this stop being weird about people of other religions"). The interesting thing is, his Now Show stuff on religious topics I thought were fine. I don't really go out of my way to listen to him on politics/current events, but on the occasions that I have, his approach is "I may find religious stuff silly but the people who do it have the right to," which on a practical level is probably one of the better ways that someone can approach being atheist/agnostic in a multicultural society. It's a useful framing when discussing events that relate to religion in current events (IIRC he did sketches on people complaining about saying/not saying prayers in the Bideford town council, and one about separate swimming hours for women and resultant media hysteria... not sure what else but I found both of those basically well done and measured).

The thing is... that's not really a basis for observational comedy! Hence my complaints in the tags of my other post- if he says "this is silly and they have the right to do it" then fine, he has the right to think that what I do is silly. If he describes the particular silly act to an audience, explains exactly what's silly about it, and then says "well of course they have the RIGHT to do it and there's nothing wrong with it," then at a certain point that's just a form of mockery that he thinks he's actually too open-minded and tolerant for, as the rest of the sketch (IIRC) is all about. It's totally possible that it actually is funny observational comedy, in which case don't apologize for it- but if it makes him too uncomfortable then you can't split the difference by being all "I'm not ACTUALLY making this joke because I'm too openminded and tolerant for it."

Part of it, and that speaks to my point above about construction, is that he was making that particular joke as part of a more standup-style joke. Basically, there's a reason why JF isn't a standup- I'm sure he'd be perfectly good at it, but he's much much more than perfectly good at doing sketch and narrative comedy! The other kind of sketch he does where he tries to sneak in these kinds of "well obviously I'm not ACTUALLY making this joke" jokes is his meta sketches, and while he does have some really good meta sketches these sorts are some of his worst. One particularly weird one that I don't remember super well is where someone asks why he doesn't have diverse characters and he's like "well it would be really weird to give diverse characters to my all-white cast." Like, maybe, but in that case the easy rejoinder would probably be "well um maybe diversify your casts" but that's a different thing.

(Also- and I now think that this may have actually been the sketch with the observant Jew at the traffic crossing- at one point he's like "what, I should deliberately bring in diverse/minority communities just so I can make jokes about them?" to which I'm like "dude, if that's the way you think about it then just don't bring this whole thing up at all." Like, he's clearly uncomfortable with that idea, and in a one-writer show that's not actually unreasonable, but by attempting to get ahead of/subvert insecurities he may well have about the show's lack of diversity, IMO he's just accentuating them and not in a totally convincing way. And he STILL manages to bring in a minority community just so he can make a joke about it.)

(Also also- if he's really worried about diversity, maybe don't have totally-white casts for any potential future series of Double Acts. Nobody's telling him to change his longstanding sketch program cast, but a diverse Double Acts cast is very very doable. Also I just want more Double Acts.)

The thing is, he has other religion-based jokes that I don't particularly love (and some that I do actually like), but they are at least well-constructed! He's able to give them dimension and entertainment value beyond the particular religious thing that he thinks is funny, and they as a result work much much better, because he's taken full advantage of the thing that he's actually incredibly good at rather than done a less constructed, more indulgent soapbox sketch. Actually, the example I'll give here isn't a JFSP sketch- it's his Good Omens S2 minisode, which is definitely biblical satire (which was obviously already on the menu, because it's Good Omens) and is by a mile the best thing in that season despite, honestly, not being a particularly imaginitive biblical satire. Like, Job is honestly pretty low hanging fruit, and his take is kind of what you expect a Good Omens take to be. But it's still an absolutely BRILLIANT minisode, because he used a relatively basic observational premise and beautifully shaped the story, integrated impeccable character work, and of course made it incredibly funny.

Basically, his gift isn't observational comedy per se (not that he's bad at it), it's turning that comedy into more than just the observation.

Hi! I hope you're doing well and having a lovely holiday season :)

Sorry if you've already talked about this before, I haven't been following you for a long time - but what do you think of the other series of JFSP apart from series 9?

Personally I love them to bits, I have listened to every episode more than 30 times and they're probably one of my favourite things in the whole world. I just love the humour, the characters, the situations - it feels very safe, no mean spirited jokes, very comforting. The sketches feels very autistic-coded to me as an autistic person, much like Martin from Cabin Pressure - some of the sketches are things I doubt a neurotypical person would notice or comment on from the angle he chooses. Like the geek sketch and the 'friend I'm in the mood for' sketch from series 5.

What are your thoughts on these series?

Thank you for asking, that’s an awesome question!

The basic answer is that I am, of course, a big fan. That said, I’d say that as much as I overall enjoy sketch comedy, I do tend to find it hit or miss; and while JFSP has a higher hit rate than most, and plenty of sketches are fantastic*, it definitely doesn’t get there ALL the time.

*Notable faves- Spooktacular, seashells, reincarnation/past lives, “Stop Saying G’nus,” tricyclist… there are loads and loads more, just off the top of my head! Not to mention the excellent ones you already cited…

The functional difference for me ends up being that while I don’t think there’s a 100% hit rate on Cabin Pressure or Double Acts either, I know that if I pick one episode that I like I will enjoy myself for a full half hour. Because I’m less familiar with a given episode of JFSP given how many there have been and how many sketches are in an episode, I don’t have that same sense of instant “ahhh” from turning on an episode of JFSP* as I would from the other two shows, where a lot of my emotions about it come from knowing it like the back of my hand.

*Major exception- S7E6. A perfect episode of sketch comedy that I can listen to literally whenever. No notes.

This isn’t to say that I don’t really enjoy JFSP! I just wish I could pick off a menu of sketches, not simply because I like some better than others but because I like the feeling of “oooh this” on demand that I get from turning on a favorite half hour episode. I will say- I find JFSP to be PERFECT for things like dental procedures and car trips, where I might be in the chair for anywhere from five minutes to two hours and can just turn on a bunch of sequential episodes for as long as I need. But it doesn’t necessarily have the same immediate impact for me as the episodes I love of the other shows.

That said- some of the best things JF ever wrote are Since You Asked Me sketches. I want them pumped into my veins.

[quasi-normalcy]

22 Answers for a Fanfic 2022

1. fandoms you wrote for this year

Star Trek, particularly Picard, owned my entire soul this year, though I think I wrote one poem for The Magnus Archives in January or thereabouts.

2. favourite fic you wrote this year

The Girl Who Looked at Cubes - A short story about Agnes Jurati as a child on Earth during the events of “The Best of Both Worlds”

Kindred Spirits - A novella about an older, more cynical Geordi La Forge touring the new Borg ship

3. favourite fic you read this year

There are quite a few that I’ve loved, but off the top of my head, probably An Exercise in Futility by Cymaiden

4. favourite opening line/scene you wrote this year

I hate writing openings, but I thought that the despairing news cast at the start of “The Girl Who Looked at Cubes” did a fair job of setting the tone for the story.

5. favourite ending line/scene you wrote this year

The ending of The Women Who Would Be Queen

6. a trope you wrote this year

I never saw the appeal of mind fusions before, but this year it hit me like a mack truck.

7. pairings you wrote this year

Borg Queen/Agnes Jurati; Geordi La Forge/Data (after a fashion); Borgnes X Reader

 8. a fic regret from this year

Publishing Chapter 9 of Kindred before it was fully cooked.

9. a song that helped you write

Rabbit Heart (Raise it up) by Florence and the Machine

10. total number of fics you posted 

Nine.

11. total number of words you posted

27,964

12. most popular fic written this year

Most kudos is Kindred, but the most kudos per number of views is The Girl Who Looked at Cubes

13. least popular fic written this year

“We’ll See You Soon, Harry,” which is entirely fair, since it’s kind of a one-note joke fic about a scene I hate in a episode I hate

14. longest completed fic you posted this year

The Women Who Would be Queen (1,705)

15. shortest completed fic you posted this year

“We’ll See You Soon, Harry”

16. favourite character to write about this year

Does the Borg hivemind count as a character?

17. a fic you didn’t expect to write

Any of them? I wasn’t really expecting anything about Picard season 2 to interest me, let alone obsess me.

18. most memorable comment/review

One person on Discord told me that they considered the seventh chapter of Kindred to be “some of the most profound transhumanist writing [they] have ever had the pleasure to lay eyes upon”

19. trends you noticed in your writing this year

a fun new obsession with the Borg?

20. fics you wanted to write but didn’t

Had this whole elaborate story arc about the backstory behind the Borg Queen, Guinan, and Q

21. something you want to write next year

Honestly, something that I can legally publish for money.

22. an idea from one of your fics that you want people to think about

The extreme slipperiness and arbitrariness of the concept of Self; cybernetics as a means of finding new ways to be human

[woodsfae]

Babylon 5: Season 1 Wrap-Up

s01 Table of Contents • previous episode: s01e22

OK, so I was mildly spoiled. When I was watching the end of s01's two parter, I looked up Michael O'Hare to see how tall he was and saw that he left B5 at the end of S01 and realized I'd heard of this before, roughly at the time JMS announced O'Hare's mental health struggles after his death. Just didn't lock it into the ole memory storage because B5 wasn't really on my radar in 2012.

This has kinda overshadowed my other thoughts about S01, because I am extremely sad that Jeffrey Sinclair won't continue to be the Commander. I am so so sad. I will have to manufacture my own frothing now! No more unbearably affectionate looks between Delenn and Sinclair! Augh. Maybe my heart will be overfilled during his guest appearances. RIP Michael o'Hare, I look forward to seeing you again in S02 and S03.

Other thoughts! There's a hole in Jeffrey Sinclair's mind and I am very excited to see how any of that shakes out.

The Minbari continue to be my favorite culture that I want to know the most about. Every character that appears, I love. I am still hoping to see more of Shaal Mayan, and don't know that I'll forgive the writers for having characters say she was coming back and then not show her! I still want to hear a poem by her. I don't really have any hopes of seeing more of Draal. It seems like they've locked him into the planet for good, and he didn't give Delenn a visitor's pass that I'm aware of. I do want to see more of the warrior Minbari, and have enjoyed the glimpses I got so far!

I have many questions. How long do Minbari live? Will Londo really die with his hands around G'Kar's throat? What are the aims of the Grey Council, or are there many aims? When does Delenn grow some hair? Why does Delenn grow some hair? Is she going to pop out of her chrysalis fully changed into later-stage Delenn? Is Susan Ivanova a telepath? Is Talia Winters telekinetic? Will Susan and Talia ever be on screen together again?! (I am dyyyyying) Will Jason Ironheart pop back up? (god I hope so, just for the CGI floating incorporeality) How often does G'Kar cook animals whole and then bite their snoots off? Will we ever see a drunk Lennier? Will we get to know any of the militant Minbari? I believe we've only spent significant time with Minbari from the religious caste so far.

Overall I am excited for the plotty goodness I've been promised. Character development! I want it.

S01 brought up healing and panaceas repeatedly. Will we see a return of the theme, and if so, will it be Big Plot important? Is Laura going to pop back up? How's Dr Franklin/Janice doing? There was no follow-up!

S01 was also heavily about social issues, particularly the slow-to-rapid march of facism taking over a society and government. I expect those themes to continue as well!

BESTER MY GUY. I need more PsiCorps dirt and plot, and thankfully I have been reassured that Walter Koenig will be back.

Talia. I want to see more of Talia. And a little less whump. She was s01's emotional punching bag! She had no happy episodes that I can recall! Just PsiTrauma after PsiTrauma with a few little sides of neutral episodes.

Garibaldi was very eeeeeuuuughhhhh my dude, go to therapy. Hopefully they address his police brutality. He did way too much assaulting civilians and overuse of force during arrests, like WAY too much. He is currently only a leeeeetle likeable. Like, barely more than Londo and that's 100% due to how gross I find Londo's *waves hands* you know. Everything sleazy.

Londo and G'Kar I'm fine with learning more about at the rate we have been already. Vir, I don't really care about. I am much more interested in G'Kar's aide, Na'Toth. (had to check real quick if she was Na'Toth or Ko D'ath and was startled to see that apparently Ko D'ath died and I either missed it or forgot) It'll be interesting to see if there's more Narn and Centauri intrigue! So far we've been set up to see human/Minbari intrigue as the leading plotlines.

I absolutely loved all the little moments when aliens were getting human things extremely wrong. Off the top of my head - the Hokey Pokey being humanity’s lullaby of choice, and Londo and Vir deciding that cats are the earth animals with beaks and webbed feet. “It’s like being nibbled to death by cats!”

Londo + G’Kar interactions have ever and always been a delight. I also loved Sinclair + Ivanova and Sinclair + Delenn with equal but very different passions. Susan/Talia - duh. I’m obsessed. Lennier + absolutely anyone was always precious, and I hope for more of those.

Worldbuilding has been utterly intriguing and I want more of that. Every bit I get makes me theorize and wonder. For example, I ranked the powers present on B5 with considerations taken for: military might; soft power; technological advancement. - Minbari (they get the top spot due to soft power) - Vorlon (they clearly have the technological edge over the Minbari but have zero soft power) - Centauri (idk why it seems like they have more likeability to in-universe folks since I like the Narns SO SO much more, but there ya have it.) - Narn (I like them SO much more than the Centauri, but considering their diplomatic stand-off with the aforementioned and history of being nerfed by them, I narrowly put them closer to the bottom. Plus they don’t have any  telepaths/telekinetics which would have to make a difference.) - Humans (I assumed the Top Powers were more or less being polite to humans by being relatively chill on their space station, but after Morden That Fucking Fae Asshole destroyed the Narnuan outpost and G’Kar listed humans as one of the races who could have done it, I am really wondering how accurate my perception is.) - the League (they don’t even get their own ambassador with equal powers to the top four so they’re clearly at the bottom of the pecking order).

I do want to know what happens with the future war, but I feel like it must be connected to Morden (ugh) and the powerful beings he’s associated with. And since I dislike him so, I hope the shadows n such can have some plot without him involved.

My top 5 episodes are (in chronological order) s01e01: Midnight on the Firing Line - this episode did a wonderful job setting things up, making me interested in the show, and set my queer heart fucking ablaze with Susan/Talia. I am particularly impressed with it, since I was both extremely high on a pain med it has later turned out I actually metabolize very weirdly so I was WAY high on it and I still managed to follow it and be into the show. and b.) didn’t have my favorite character from the Gathering in it but still made me love her replacement.

s01e06: Mind War - Fascinating eldritch beings, more Catherine, G’Kar showing he has many facets to his character, Water Koenig, PsiCorps dirt, and the absolute gloriousness that was the CGI portraying Jason Ironheart ascending to another state of being. What’s not to love? 

s01e13: By Any Means Necessary - I LOVED THIS EPISODE. It had prime Londo/G’Kar bickering, while minimal Londo sleaziness. It had Union power, Ms Connelly, Susan Ivanova out-bellowing a room full of people, and some of Sinclair’s best use of his superpower: SuperPedantry. Also had the most satisfying-to-hate villain, that union-buster, who I hope shows up again just long enough for Neeoma Connelly to kick his balls in.

s01e21: Legacies - I really enjoyed seeing a bit of Narnuan and Minbari culture through Alisa’s eyes. I absolutely adored Talia and Susan flirt-fighting throughout. Delenn manipulating her way through this episode was fantastic (we’ve seen a lot of her scheming, but mostly in little drips and drabs on the way to the finale! Loved seeing some of her work from start to finish). I was delighted by Na’Toth popping in and out. This was an episode I didn’t want to end.

s01e22: Chrysalis - Gotta be honest, I struggled with whether to put this or The War Prayer or the Sky Full of Stars. Chrysalis won out, because I realized I was comparing it against each of the other two, and not the other two against each other. Those were both excellent episodes and you can consider them to be runners-up to my favorites list! Chrysalis did a phenomenal job of ramping the tension up throughout the episode. I was legitimately furious that I was too tired to click through and watch s02e01. I was entranced and gripped the entire way through. Too much went on for me to feel like I can adequately summarize my favorite points, and it’s also the only episode I want to re-watch before I finish the entire show.

To be clear, these are my personal favorites based solely on how much I recall having enjoyed watching them, and I was post-op and heavily drugged and/or about to fall asleep for quite a bit of - if not most of - season 1. I leave arguments about artistic merits and enduring cultural impact to others!

I will leave you with these B5 S01 articles of clothing I coveted. It's not quite enough to make an outfit, and consists mostly of tops. May S02 bring many cool trousers.

next episode: s02e01

[marley-manson]

there’s a lot going on with Dear Dad Three lol but what stood out to me most was the scene near the end where Hawkeye writes: “How far away it all seems: fun, affection, tenderness,” while in a tent with a woman waiting to have sex with him. The whole episode lowkey had that vibe of melancholy belying the occasional “fun,” and this moment was particularly on point. It was funny but also really sad when you think about it for half a second - none of the fun we see on screen is really fun compared to like, a neutral day back home, it’s barely enough to keep their heads above water.

also Hawkeye quoting Gunga Din was definitely a reference to the movie rather than the poem directly since he only recites non-consecutive lines that are quoted in the movie in the same accent. I haven’t seen the movie but I know because the transcript I checked wrote out the accent lol.

also also Henry’s home video; Hawkeye’s life visibly flashing before his eyes when racist dude shows up in his tent with a rifle; the v overt threesome set up with the swedish nurse; the staff meeting - especially Hawkeye directly telling Margaret he’ll be serious if she wants to talk about medicine but if she wants to talk about stupid army shit he’s going to continue to dick around, and also everyone voting against a post-war reunion lol... so much good stuff in this ep despite the occasionally painful to sit through racist guy subplot

[addictedtostorytelling]

Does Sara understand/share Grissom’s love of baseball? What’s your take on her POV?

Might be cute to see a story about them attending a Cub’s game. Especially since I don’t think Sara gets baseball and Grissom’s love of the game.

hi, @gleness522!

so i can't exactly offer you fic—as a writer, i'm really beholden to the muse, so i'm terrible at taking prompts—but i can offer you some loose headcanons, if you're interested:

in terms of sara's feelings on baseball, i definitely don't think she shares grissom's love for it at first—see the strong "watching baseball is something i'm doing to try to be a good wife, and while i get the sport in theory, i'm still not exactly sure what the point is in practice" vibes she gives off when she talks to catherine in episode 10x01 "family affair"—however, i personally believe that the longer she and grissom are together, the more into it she gets.

it's a gradual process.

at first, it's the kind of deal where she's just charmed because of how cute grissom is as a fanboy—watching games together on tv or even attending them in person, she gets to see this stoked, almost "little boy" side to him that she just absolutely adores—more so than because of anything having to do with the game itself.

particularly once she understands that part of his love for the game stems from the fact that he and his father used to bond over it, she starts to feel very tender about the whole thing. it's kind of like that ada limón poem, you know?

he has all of these extensive rituals surrounding the game—the right stats to check, the right concessions to buy at the ballpark (in a right order during the right innings), a right way to talk about each series and the season's prospects, etc.—and she delights in how committed he is to teaching her each and every one, as well as how seriously he takes everything.

however, eventually, once she begins to understand that there's kind of a narrative aspect to the game—where it's about the history of the teams and the players and following their rises and falls over time—she starts to become a bit more interested for her own sake, even beyond the "grissom of it all." especially after she's followed a couple of consecutive seasons, she gets a feel for how decisions that are made and outcomes that are reached one year can come to bear in the next, and she develops a bit of "team pride"*.

* more on which team in a second.

when grissom buys her her first team ballcap, she feels like she's really made it.

of course, the more she watches baseball, the more she develops an eye for what the game is supposed to look like and what exactly about it, per grissom's original description, is "beautiful," until eventually she can recognize what's special about a perfectly executed triple play for herself, without any explanation from him.

whereas in the beginning, she was kind of humoring grissom (or at least only paying attention for his sake), now she gains an enjoyment of the game all of her own. she forms her own opinions on things.

the first time grissom witnesses her pick a fight with nick over the rule change on takeout slides when they're visiting him in san diego one summer, he has never been prouder of her.

by the time of the reboot, the transformation is complete: she is very much the kind of obnoxious, loud-mouthed fan who will yell at the umpires through the tv and rant about "the unwritten rules" given the right conversational opening. she knows all of the extensive rituals by heart. she can recite the lore. she has favorite players and predictions on the season.

as for what team she and grissom support, well—

fwiw—and i know what i'm about to say here is close to heresy—while the cubs are billy's favorite team, i don't assume they're grissom's.

i mean, he grew up in the los angeles area, so i've always headcanoned that his ballclub is the dodgers.

unless we imagine that one or more of his parents is from chicago (which i personally don't), he'd have no real ties to the cubs otherwise.

thanks for the question! please feel welcome to send another any time.

[lurking-latinist]

I was tagged by @thisbluespirit a few days ago to list my top 5 fics I’ve written (so far!) and had to put off answering it, because at the moment I’m still very excited about my Yuletide assignment (which was in fact for thisbluespirit), and I wanted to list it, but it’s only come off anon today! So here are my top 5 fics I’ve written: in no particular order, I’m not that self-aware.

1. “The Strands of Fate” (Doctor Who (1963), T but probably could be G, Fourth Doctor/Romana II, 1709 words). This is the fic that I’d most like to have not written myself so I could read it. (But, the next best thing, Moki wrote a sequel to it!) It’s got trope subversion, it’s got Doctor/Romana, it’s got Time Lord nonsense, it’s got Lalla Ward’s bat sweater. It’s very me. Also writing it was super fun because it really took off--I was expecting it to be a couple of hundred words of joke.

2. “Somewhere to Belong” (Doctor Who (1963 and 2005), G, First Doctor, Susan, Jenny, 2200 words). Another one that sort of wrote itself: I was trying to write meta! This is based on the idea that Susan’s mother is in fact Jenny (from The Doctor’s Daughter) thanks to time travel, which is still my default headcanon for the Susan’s granny question, and I was quite impressed that my headcanon turned into an actual story with a plot and stuff. I regret that Jenny isn’t actually in the story more; maybe I’ll write more of her when I feel like I have more of a handle on her character.

3. “The Wrong Idea” (Doctor Who (1963) and whatever continuity Brax belongs in, T, Braxiatel and mentions of others, 1427 words). This fic is kind of a mess, but I think in a good way? At any rate it’s something that probably only I could have written, because the specific combination of niche lore interests is so... specific. It’s about Brax during, and after, the events of The Invasion of Time. I like the feeling of tension, and I always love exploring the concept that Time Lords Are The Worst.

4. The aforementioned Yuletide assignment: “Bestride the Narrow World” (Welcome to Our Village, Please Invade Carefully, Katrina and ensemble, G, 2502 words). This is a “missing episode”-style fic for a fantastic sci-fi radio comedy written by Eddie Robson (better known to many of you from Big Finish) and starring Hattie Morahan (better known to many of you... yeah). I’m still a little giddy over the whole experience of Yuletide, but I do also think I genuinely wrote something nice for thisbluespirit (who extra double deserves it for having made me aware of the show in the first place!). I’m always unsure about writing comedy when I start out, but I always have so much fun with it when I get into the swing of things.

5. “Blazon” (Doctor Who (1963), T, Seventh Doctor/Romana II, 500 words). It wouldn’t be a list of my fics without some Seven/Romana and some drabbles, and this drabble sequence is still what I think is the best of my Seven/Romana fics. It’s inspired by the titular blazon, which is a type of love poem that describes and praises the beloved’s physical features one by one. I always think drabbles are close to poetry in their brevity, constraint, and power, and these felt particularly like that.

I honestly have no idea if these are the actual best--they might just be the ones that were most rewarding to write rather than read--but there you go!

Tagging @swinging-stars-from-satellites @fortes-fortuna-iogurtum @strange-destinations @timeladyjamie and anyone else who wants to do it--I genuinely mean that--I’ve got to be off now and so don’t have time to tag as many people as I’d like!

[herestomyhaters]

okay, i got so many opinions on ginny & georgia and i simply can't leave them unsaid so let's do thisss. spoilers ahead, be warned !!!

highly doubt this needs to be addressed again but just in case, about that taylor swift line... i think it all got way too out of hand. i mean for sure, it was uncalled for & unnecessary (any other fictional name or reference would've worked) but peopleee. we are talking about an angry 16 yo lashing at her mother for prying on her sexual life. it was meant to be hurtful & distasteful.

moving forward, i think one of the worst things handled in the show was the ships. more specifically, ginny-hunter and max-sophie. i think (hope?) we can all agree that the two were boring and anticlimactic. i felt like there was no chemistry or even a good story (not that marcus and ginny's was that deep either) that made me invested in these ships. i mean why get max & sophie together if they was gonna break up in november cause sophie was "leaving for college".... just weird, felt like a filler more than actual representation

something no one can take away from me is how this show depicted what it is like growing up as a mixed kid, especially a mixed girl. i'm a birracial girl myself so the scenes were extremely relatable and even comforting at times. her essay/poem made me cry my eyeballs out. i know a lot of ppl who saw the trailer were like "oh great, just another show about a lightskinned girl" but i really don't think i'd ever seen a show that depicted these issues so clearly & consistenly. so the casting made perfect sense to me

that being said, i did feel like the racist situations ginny faced were just gently brushed over, and then we didn't really get to see what happened afterwards or what it meant for her. would've been nice to see those ideas further explored (esp. the racial profiling one, imo)

hopefully this'll change if we get a season 2 🤞🏽 but i wasn't too fond of how they treated the rest of the black characters in the show. when it came to zion (whose poem also made me cry lmao, this show was too relatable for me) i really loved his role and relationship w/ ginny. i wish he would've been more present since it took like 6 episodes for him to appear & then he left after promising he wouldn't (which didn't make a whole lot of sense to me). then, when it came to bracia she only had like 3 scenes, and i don't wanna say it but i feel like we all know why. netflix, do better

NOW something i did adore: the !!! flashbacks !!! young georgia, zion & joe were truly a different vibe. that insight into georgia's past was particularly one of my favorite elements on the show, nikki roumel did an awesome job

i can also appreciate seeing a rocky mother-daughter relationship portrayed on screen. it truly can be one of the most complex relationships in life. plus, it kept becoming increasingly clear why they both acted the way they acted

all in all, though yes, there were some cringy scenes (which is to be expected, both in a netflix show & in a teenager's life), and it's always felt quite odd to me for 15 yo's to have such "mature", sexually active lives, i did really love the show. if anything, it accurately showcased what it's like being a mixed teenager who is living in a predominantly white neighbourhood. also, all the things you're willing to do in order to feel accepted when you struggle to understand who you really are.

[kuboism]

Bleach Canon Vs. Studio Clown Episode 1

Intro to the series

WARNING: Long read but theres plenty of pictures

The first deviation we’re greeted with is what the anime presents as the arrival of hollows into the human world. With a likely artistic rendition of them forming from the shadows of Hueco Mundo and dripping/bleeding over into the human world like splotches of ink, after which they disappear - unable to be perceived by humans.

A/N: Which, kubos to the anime, is rather neat.

The anime also decided to incorporate the first volume poem which is the thematic beginning and a great establisher of the mood/themes of Bleach, which roughly translates to: 

我らは 姿無きが故に それを畏れ

“We fear that which cannot be seen”

And then they curiously add a line to this poem? 

姿無き故に敬う

”We revere that which cannot be seen"

A/N: Which, initially seems on brand with the spiritualism of that “which is not seen” - the shinigami, DEATH itself if you will. However, unlike the themes of “fear” and “fear of death/the unseen”, “reverence” is not really a theme prevalent or definitive for bleach. Reverence is not particularly reserved for death or death gods, but antagonists with themes of divinity/the Soul King himself, but I digress.

Next off the bully scene has a couple of missing/reworded lines, as well as some of the delivery changed, but overall it’s not significant enough to mention.

I also wish they’d kept Ichigo’s shit yourself scary face from this moment right here, since it really underlines how serious and personally invested Ichigo is in bringing small justice to the souls of the departed, but I can only pray a future remake does include it.

^ I am disappointed in y’all :/

vs.

v Karma delivery, bitch

Then for some reason the next scene is changed significantly:

In the manga, it builds up slowly to Ichigo’s reveal of supernatural abilities with the iconic TM character profile intros (which I can see why weren’t recreated in the anime, but I sure wish they put them in....)

with him spooking the bullies off with the ghost girl right behind him

Versus his scary face doing the job instead.....

It’s a small change, and I can see why it would be opted for - we don’t really know if they even saw the ghost in the first place (then again you could argue that would spook them anyway). There is a tonal difference in the long run though. The manga emphasizes once again *why* ichigo is scolding them in the first place - he sees the people disrespected by them knocking down the vase, he wants them to acknowledge their actions *because* in his mind, there are real victims he knows from it. While in the anime, since the ghost is not yet introduced, it feels more like “you are disrespectful to the dead” in a more generalized way vs. him actually being acquainted with the dead and treating them like the living. 

(Again, not sure why change it so much at all........the suspense and reveal are in the manga just the same.... but ok)

As well as cutting off this small moment where you can see Ichigo’s very human (and cute!) interactions with the ghosts. To him they’re just as real as the living, and he lends them a hand whenever they ask for help.

Also lmfao this 4kids level of censorship.....

It goes on rather faithfully for a while, no significant omissions, then Pierrot decides to randomly replace Yuzu’s lines with Karin??

Manga:

Anime: 

Which is an odd choice, given that not only does Yuzu sense ghosts just fine (albeit at a much lesser level than her family) and that later comes into play with Fishbone & Grandfisher, but Karin literally later admits that she doesn’t even want to acknowledge their presence, so why the change....?

They also cut short Karin’s little talk about Ichigo’s stats, which is a fair change for screentime’s sake, but mentioned for the record.

There’s a bit of a divergence with Yuzu lore, when the manga explicitly states she sees them, but not “clearly”, the anime focuses on her barely sensing them. I guess it doesn’t matter that much in the long run, since she is not that prevalent in the story, but it’s here for the record nonetheless.

Anime: 

vs. 

Manga:A

Also this next bit was removed, probably for the sake of pacing (which, totally fair!!), but it’s funny and I love the Kurosaki family so here it is:

It does make the flow a bit better in the manga, since this talk of selling his talents distracts Ichigo and creates an opening for his father to strike, in the anime, the same is done with Ichigo just randomly saying 

and thats where his father attacks him, which isnt really an issue, just kind of funny of how the manga is like:

Ichigo’s distracted by his sisters plotting to sell him out and hence Isshin has his chance to strike back

vs the anime being like:

Ichigo randomly thinks about dinner mid convo about ghosts and thats what distracts him from play-fighting with his dad 

gfdkhlgfdg okayyyy....moving on 

In the manga this scene is interspliced with Ichigo’s inner monologue about the nature of his powers (with hip jargon like “for real” courtesy of Viz ) 

(but my beef with Viz translations are for another day)

Also the line about “He told me more ghosts than ever have been haunting me” has been given to Karin for some reason, probably to make her feel more included in the scene/Ichigos life.

Notably, Isshin’s response is changed from “What?! He talks about stuff like that with you (Yuzu, singular)” to “What?! He talks about stuff like that with you guys?” as well, again probably to include Karin more into the dialogue. (Mmmm ok....)

Minor detail, but Karin’s lines has been changed to more “boyish” speech structure in the Japanese dub, which may seem insignificant, but ...... that is for later. 

.....

This little exchange

 is replaced with: 

Which, seems innocuous adaptation differences, but Yuzu’s lines keep decreasing and it’s a short enough moment to like....include and establish how motherly Yuzu is acting towards Ichigo.....but ok...huh. 

And now we get into the big boy changes.

So, probably for the sake of grounding the supernatural element of the series, the anime decided to skip time to the next morning and introduce the hollow attacks with a news report.

Which.....is an interesting choice. I am assuming this is addressing how the real world perceives the hollow attacks, which Bleach doesn’t put too much effort into addressing, but very soon after this we learn about stuff like memory replacement and other various technology to keep things under wraps so this is either redundant or implying that shinigamis have not been doing their job, which hm......

Next off is the bizarre choice to paint Isshin out of the picture for the night

Not sure why, but ok

Again, where’s the shinigami with their Kikanshinki (memory replacement devices)??? Pierrot where’s the lore coherence......

Anyway, Ichigo goes to replace the girl’s vase, but suprise-surprise she’s gone-zo. Wonder what happened to her.....

(And....again, people vehemently don’t want a reboot when the anime looks like this? )

So Ichigo hears a scream and a hollow scream and follows the sound (Ok?).

Totally random hollows attack. Which Ichigo somehow has never seen so far? Mind you, this isn’t like in the manga, where Fishbone was sent by Aizen specifically after Ichigo to make him aware of it. These are random-ass hollows attacking people, so how come Ichigo suddenly sees them. Ya coulda played it safe Pierrot, and stuck to the book, but we got plot inconsistencies episode one so let’s party.

The girl is, of course, not eaten and they run away.

She trips at the most inconvenient moment. (can ghosts trip? Ghost don’t even have legs in japanese lore and Kubo draws them floating around so okkkkkkkk)

(ok ok, im just being petty, bUT YKNOW)

(convenient tripping on deadass levelled ground is convenient)

(also God I really want that bag Ichigo’s got on his shoulder, it looks so nice)

Random-ass hollow closes in and 

BOOM

Rukia

(Now, if the rest of Bleach and the manga didn’t exist I would like this moment. We get a glimpse into Rukia’s abilities, into shinigami as a concept and we don’t really get to see her slice and dice hollows that much overall so the moment itself is rad in isolation.

Now, unfortunately for Pierrot’s screenwriters, Bleach manga exists and so does it’s lore, which again, would not be inconsistent with each other if the adapation was faithful. Now, Ichigo sees a shinigami, for some reason, for the first time in his 15 years of life. All of a sudden. 

You could argue, that much like in the manga, this is all part of Aizen’s plan TM, but like, she literally leaves right after leaving Ichigo gaping in awe ghfkjgdf. Why’d Aizen give him an appetizer, I really don’t understand how this change is benefitting the narrative in any way. It’s ....dare I say....generic.)

Rukia yeets the hollow

(why is this kid suddenly not wearing shoes?)

and goes off on her merry way, leaving Ichigo shooketh

ALSO RUKIA MA’AM THERES A FUCKING STRAY GHOST RIGHT AT YOUR RIGHT????? ISNT IT YOUR LIKE....JOB.......... TO HELP GHOSTS MOVE ON??? i know killing hollows is the fun part, but like ghjkfdlgfd ??? are you gonna ignore her???

( his fucking face ghfjdkgdlfgfd)

So after this wholeass pointless detour (you’ll see why it’s pointless in a moment)  we timeskip again (the filler is strong in this one. These 6 minutes were worth not coming up with something cohesive and removing scenes that actually make sense ah yes)

Ichigo is in deep thought TM about who tf is the stranger he’d just seen. Likely mulling over the monsters and how this person was able to slay said monsters. Probably thinking how unusual they are.

and as if on cue

the stranger makes their presence once more

(my God these faces gfhgkldfg)

....

Now let’s briefly address what happens in the manga instead.

Instead of the whole timeskip scene with the fight, Ichigo simply returns to his room on the same day, and oddly enough recognizes the species of the butterfly he sees? (nerdy boi! nerdy!! boi!)

rukia arrives much the same

(With the little text emphasizing how he’d never been aware of soul reapers, which is unsurprising given their secrecy, and makes sense in the long run since their first meeting is specifically orchestrated by Aizen. Two species that werent meant to interact brought together by his schemes.)

Back to the anime:

Ichigo pauses to ponder who tf they are and why the fuck they’re there.

and then the anime has the gall to suddenly revert to sticking to the manga, which like.... Ichigo kicks her for no reason? I guess because she isn’t answering? Even though Ichigo knows she has a sword and can wield it? Reckless boy.

Manga Ichigo thinks she’s a burglar, therefore, unsurprisingly, is comfortable kicking her outta his house. It’s a silly moment, but it also shows how accustomed or stupidly brave he is with the supernatural.

In the anime Ichigo asks her who she is instead of all that, and she responds pretty similarly to the manga

AND THE NEXT SCENE IS WHERE IT CLICKS WHY THEY WENT OUT OF THEIR WAY TO REMOVE ISSHIN FROM THE HOUSE.

(Ichigo and Rukia addressing the pointless filler, this leads nowhere)

Rukia check him out like she’s checking if the oranges on sale dont have mold on them 

slapstick ensues

and Rukia decides to answer his question.

Vs. the manga in which Isshin doesn’t leave his children home alone for some random conference and is actually used very efficient for two reasons:

1) building up on the burglar gag with actually funny slapstick that is based on a previously established joke

2) Instead of Rukia just saying “oh usually people can’t see me”, we get an actual demonstration of it, the reader gets to see “oh Isshin can’t see her - she must be a spiritual entity,” which further clicks with her surprised reaction at him being able to kick her in the first place.

The next scene is the classique Pierrot censorship.

Ghost girl runs away from what I’m assuming is Fishbone.

Aside from not showing her get eaten, the scene is pretty much delivering the same message, 

bUT

BECAUSE OF THE STUPID ASS FILLER WITH THEM MEETING RUKIA BEFORE THIS, I CAN ACCUSE RUKIA OF NEGLIGENCE.

UNLIKE THE MANGA, where Rukia arrives the night before and is specifically seeking Fishbone, therefore having no time to help this girl pass away, 

This vvvvvvv

could have been prevented if SOMEONE DID THEIR FUCKING JOB THE DAY BEFORE VVVVVVV

(I rest my case. Thank you Pierrot for making Rukia either negligent or an idiot. Awesome, And mind you, these changes were unnecessary. The manga’s pacing is fine. They could’ve extended scenes. But nope, had to go for making them meet beforehand.)

Anyway, we get to see some actual stakes in the manga

The next scene which is this in the manga 

has two changes to it. Firstly, obviously Isshin being consoled by Yuzu isn’t included since he isn’t home in the anime, and even if he were, I can see why that would be removed, cute as it may be.

And secondly, due to them having met prior Ichigo asks two additional questions:

And Rukia nods at both, which means she acknowledges that she had seen the girl the hollow was after and yet did nothing to help her pass on. 

(Reminder the Bleach anime was in production WAAAAY past the first 4 volumes, which gave a good general idea of the series, which y’know, was fine to adapt as is.

You’ll see these changes add up into becoming inconsistent with further Bleach lore. There’s a reason people call Bleach a hot mess, and I’m afraid Kubo ain’t really it.)

(Volume 14 Note from Kubo where he talks about the anime being announced)

Back to the series

Pet peeve time: Wish the anime was half as expressive as the manga

These scenes are supposed to represent

This panel:

(Nitpicking? Perhaps, but idc)

So uh, this scene is odd

Again, because of the addition of that filler with the hollow

Ichigo has seen her in action

And they even added Rukia trying to convince him 

even though, yknow???

LITerally the previous day???

Anyway  in the manga, where Ichigo has reason to be distrustful of her and her claims since y’know hes never seen her or a shinigami in action, but has enough proof that she’s a ghost bc his dad didn’t see her, he simply dismisses her before she can reply, and instead of just getting angry for being called a pipsqueak

she shows both Ichigo and the audience proof of her spiritual powers by binding Ichigo and forcing him to quietly listen to her explanations.

(To reiterate - Anime Rukia  has to verbally try to convince Ichigo WHO SAW HER FIGHT A HOLLOW THE OTHER DAY that shes no ordinary ghost. And because of that, she has no other reason to use Sai on him other than that shes mad she was called a pipsqueak bc she just tried to verbally convince him shei is a shinigami. When they could just adapt the manga and have her both demonstrate her powers and put him in his place at the same time. Wild.)

Also CRIMINALLY BORING SHOT, WITH CRIMINALLY BORING RUKIA

#NotMyRukia

LOOK AT THE MANGA

LOOK AT HER SMUGLY OWNING ICHIGO’S IGNORANT ASS #FuckYeahRukia

Also the subs may not show it if you’re watching it on Netflix, but anime Rukia says “I am not allowed to lay my hands on humans outside orders,” which like, you ARE LITERALLY DOING THAT. Manga Rukia is fine with bullying Ichigo, but she draws a line at killing him, but man Anime Rukia, you give no fucks about the laws huh.

why so cheerful?

(also Rukia be right tho)

(specifcally compared to hell you could say Soul society is a resftul place lmfao)

Also anime salary man gets to rest in peace, even like, pray and shit

Meanwhile the manga

YEET TO SOUL SOCIETY

(also notice how we’ve been robbed of ichigo’s silly socks

I swear the anime knows how to suck the soul out of the manga 

Get it? Soul! haha ....moving on.)

Really Rukia? One of your jobs?

GUESS YOU WERE OFF DUTY HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(I’M SORRY BUT LIKE, SEE HOW POINTLESS THIS FILLER IS UGH!!!)

(Again pet peeve but look at how ugly this screen is COMPARED TO THE MANGA)

(What have they done to you, queen)

(also they never mention the name Konso ( or as Viz calls it here -”soul funeral”, thanks Viz)

Next on, not a pet peeve, but an observation:

Anime Rukia keeps her sketchbook in her kimono

Manga Rukia keeps it at the titty

Yep, which you neglected to do the day before,

she literally says “With the konso I did just a  moment ago” like she used the word before. Like you can contextually get it, but why cut that line out of the dialogue if you don’t change the next line it’s referenced in?

There’s also a dialogue change from the manga’s well, Viz uses “vaporize” which is not a bad choice given the specific wording Kubo uses, but the original says 

昇華 • 滅却

sublimate/convert • extinguish

which is a clever little nod/foreshadowing to the nature of souls in bleach and that they can be “converted” in and out of a hollowfied state. 

While the anime just says “to slay hollows”, and albeit it lacks the little nod the manga has to offer, I can’t see how they’d include it in the anime at that stage so I’m fine with them simplifying it to like, an exorcism.

A better question then Rukia - WHY DIDN’T YOU SEND OFF HER SOUL????

also WAIT THE GIRL IS STILL ALIVE?? she’s dead-dead by this point in the manga.

BULLSHIT !!!  YOU LITERALLY EXPLAIN LATER WHY!! ACTUALLY YOU EXPLAINED EARLIER WHY!!! YOU LITERALLY SAID THIS, 1 MINUTE AGO :

Anyway, Fishbone almost grants her the priviledge of escaping this God-awful anime, but is suddenly stopped?

AND CAN TALK??

wait WHY DOES FISHBONE TALK?? GHFJD isnt this supposed to be  a juicy reveal for later when Ichigo realizes “hey theyre not actual complete monsters - but used to be humans!” Hm, ok.

Also leaves her alone? Damn ok...

Reminder:

Moooving on...

Speaking of the manga, this little moment is missing:

Since there is no pointless filler that would make him ask about the ghost girl therefore exposing Rukia’s slacking off of her duty, Ichigo realizes that there must be a hollow nearby bc in the manga he actually has braincells to spare. 

Also wiping off the Baron’s moustache moment is gone 😢

Missing and dearly missed is also this moment, which consolidates how protective Ichigo is of his family. He only needs to hear Yuzu scream to click that the hollow is nearby and his family is in danger. I feel like anime Ichigo should be even more worried since his sisters are alone but ok??

Also foreshadows their dynamic of Rukia trying to stop his reckless attempts at pushing himself to protect his family, bc yknow....she has her own Kaien trauma to process.

Next off....

This is .... a choice....

They were very eager to give Yuzu’s lines to Karin just a couple of moments ago but now this whole exchange:

Where we see a very pragmatic yet soft side of Karin

She doesn’t know what is happening, and doesn’t expect her brother to fight it - he just wants him to be safe, because she loves her family. At least warn him before it gets to him and hurts him.

is replaced with this:

Yuzu, sweetie, what do you think he can do to achieve that.

I guess at least Anime Ichigo tries to get Rukia to do her job as she looks down on Yuzu in silence. 

But compare it to the manga:

#MyRukia stops by Karin to check for a pulse and reassures Ichigo that his sister is alive.

Manga Ichigo is NUMBER ONE oniichan in town and doesnt have time to call out to a stranger to save his family - HES BEYOND READY TO GO FIGHT, RECKLESS AS IT IS, EVEN THOUGH HIS OWN FAMILY BEGS HIM TO JUST RUN. because he cant let himself be unable to protect them. He cant live with himself if he doesnt try his darnest to protect them.

*elevator music playing as ichigo tries to get rukia’s attention but she fucks off downstairs, but instead of doing shit he just does the worm on the floor*

which I guess is more realistic for a teenage boy, but Ichigo is literally traumatized by being unable to protect a family member. Y’all think a ghost he’s never seen before is gonna stop him? 

Yooo, pathetic. #NotMyIchigo

[leatherbookmarking]

until now i saw the story of lxc and lwj’s parents as a parallel primarily to wgxn -- it’s much more wgxn-flavoured in the show, since right before lxc tells wwx the source of lwj’s scars, and right after he makes a comparison between lwj unable to reach his mother and lwj unable to reach wwx. and uhhh because i rarely use my own brain. i think i’ve once seen a meta or a twitter thread linking it to xiyao, but in my mind it was more like a... secondary interpretation, right.

but i’m reading this scene in the novel now, and it’s... primarily a way for lxc to express his internal conflict, a sort of a ‘see, things aren’t that simple as you think they are’ to wwx, who’s just came to tell him his best friends of over a decade is a liar and a murderer, source: this was once revealed to me in a dream

as i’ve read in someone’s meta 298 years ago, i’m sorry, i can’t remember -- and as you can notice yourself if you pay attention, characters often turn their face or whole body away from the people they’re talking to when, for example the topic is particularly emotional/too personal or revealing to say to someone’s face, or when they’re unsure about what they’re feeling or thinking. i’m not sure, but i have a feeling this kind of body language also appears in anime, during the characters’ dramatic declarations. or, yknow, anime characters sometimes just do talk with their backs to each other.

and in the show, indeed, just from this episode:

lxc turns around, the famous speech about thinking he knows the true a-yao happens; and later

lxc turns around and asks wwx if he knows what house it is, starting the story of their parents. he does face wwx back for a moment, but i’d say he spends a considerable part of this interaction with his back to him. this is not the behaviour of someone who’s open and confident about everything they feel.

the random flute solo is yet another thing the fandom considers hilarious, but in the novel,

Lan Xichen said, “In my memories, Mother was indeed so. I don’t know why she did such a thing back then. And, in truth, I…” He took in a deep breath before confessing, “I don’t want to know either.”

After a few moments of silence, Lan Xichen closed his eyes. He took out Liebing. A gust of night wind suddenly sent forth a sobbing note from the xiao flute. The sound was deep, like a heavy sigh. Wei Wuxian had heard Lan Xichen play Liebing before. Its timbre was just like Lan Xichen himself, as warm and graceful as the breeze and the rain of spring. Yet, now, although his technique was as excellent as ever, the tone evoked a strange mixture of feelings.

The night wind swept by. Lan Xichen’s hair and forehead ribbon were already somewhat disheveled. However, Gusu Lan’s sect leader, who had always valued appearance highly, didn’t pay any attention. He only put down Liebing after the song had finished, (...)

the quote is long, but it’s important.

it’s a bit of a musical-like moment -- lxc admits something personal, not entirely fitting a just, noble sect leader: he doesn’t want to learn the truth about his mother’s crime, possibly: because the memories of her are already tinted with pain, and he fears that learning everything will ruin the beloved image of his mother in his heart, or: that having learnt the truth, he’ll have to condemn her.

he’s clearly conflicted and emotional, and he’s still handling it well -- in a manner different from, say, jiang cheng would adapt if he was to tell a story about his parents -- but he still feels strongly about this whole situation, so when he can’t find proper words, he chooses music. and indeed, you can see that he’s expressing his emotional state; there’s “sobbing”, a “deep, heavy sigh”, “evokes a strange mixture of feelings”. the gusu lan sect is known for their musical cultivation, and they use it to fight, to suppress evil beings (and wen swords), but obviously also to express their feelings. lwj has wangxian, lxc has the deep, emotional melody of a conflict between doing what’s right (what is right?) and protecting the person you love.

then, finally, the little mention of his hair and ribbon. the narration constructs a convenient gust of wind, but even so the situation seems simple: lan xichen must be really moved by this, since he allowed himself to look disheleved. easy enough.

Except! (fun fact time.) i’m more (or: at all) familiar with the japanese side, so forgive me if the chinese side is different, but in this case, i think it shouldn’t be that much...? anyway, tangled, disheveled hair is a metaphor for internal turmoil -- often caused by missing your lover, as in many love poems (an interesting read, in particular page 78), but also, i feel, in general. in yosano akiko’s poem from 1901 (and her poetry collection, called midaregami which simply means tangled/disheveled hair), she makes a connection between the thousands of tangled strands of her hair and her equally tangled feelings. tl;dr lan xichen’s hair shows his internal conflict both literally and metaphorically. the more you know!!!

lol i spent more than an hour reading about this but the result is just... one paragraph.... sob

ANYWAY man what a lxc-centric softly xiyao-flavoured little scene. delight. delight. he not only reveals a story he shouldn’t have even mentioned But Also gets personal with a technical stranger and plays music after dark. he apologizes!, even though probably in jiang sect point of view, he’s done nothing that scandalous. modern equivalent for lxc would be probably like, shouting about your feelings to a dude you don’t even know that well with evanescence loud on your speakers at 2am. what am i supposed to do now?!, etc lol

[seance]

› gif maker appreciation tag

rules: answer the first half of the questions with gifsets of your own, then answer the second half by tagging gif makers you love!

in honor of dia’s wonderful two years gif-iversary ♡ i was tagged by a bunch of cuties: @iridescentides / @flynncarter / @molinareggie / @miriammaisel / @juliesdahlia / @madeline-kahn / @malikjavaddzayn / @faeryglass / @winterfrosted

LINK A GIFSET › 

Link a gifset you’re really proud of:

on this old ass five gifset, i don’t know there’s something about it i guess, the fact that i managed to keep it simple (i have a problem with overcomplicating things, making them way too messy) but still got the point and the feeling i was going for across › NEVER FINISH A WAR WITHOUT STARTING ANOTHER

Link a gifset where you tried something new:

I WANTED TO BE STRONGER › this was one of the first gifsets where i really went all the way with the style experimentation and where i had the idea of the ‘blubble frame’ as i like to call it, which i love using from time to time

SHADOW AND BONE MAIN CAST › i actually first used this particular style in one of my assassin’s creed edit (NO BOOKS, NO WISDOM) but that never on my main so!

THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY EDITORIAL › i still like this edit a lot, completely different from my usual style but it came out neat!

JATP SCRAPBOOK › experimenting with textures and blending modes!

Link a gifset that features your favorite character or celebrity:

WICKER PEOPLE › my favorite chaotic disasters and special mention to THE RAIN WILL EVENTUALLY COME because this poem just kills me.

Link a gifset that you want more people to see:

i think maybe my last shadow and bone one? HERE COMES JUDGMENT DAY just because it took forever and i’m kinda proud of that first gif + i made it feeling super ill so it’s double the value agsgs- 

Link a gifset that you had fun making:

this JATP + BODIES OF WATER one, cause i absolute love finding things to associate characters to and i’m very happy how the blending turned out in the end!

Link a gifset that you created as part of a meme, challenge, or series:

FAVORITE S1 EPISODE › when i still used to gif somehow normally ahah 

Link a gifset of yours that makes you smile:

YOU WERE ALWAYS GOLD TO ME › this song and these characters just mean a lot to me and i poured my whole heart in this gifset!

Link a gifset that you made for someone else:

the love i feel for my friends is stored in the random gifsets

READY OR NOT for @overzonen

NO LULLABY / PARANORMAL INVESTIGATORS for @number5theboy

ON LOVE AND ANGER for @evakant

TAG SOMEONE WHO ›

Tag someone who inspired you to start making gifs:

Oh gosh, I think I started around 2011 so I really can’t remember. I never really stopped but I had some kind of renaissance last summer, in july and I owe that to all the amazing creators in the Umbrella Academy fandom.

Tag someone who makes great vibrant gifs:

@captainheroism @meliorn @ughmerlin and @nina-zenyk all make such unique use of colors, in their own personalized styles but with such consistency and I never fail to recognize their edits on my dash, they stand out in the best of ways!

Tag someone who makes great pale/pastel gifs:

I’m not really a fan of pale or bw gifs, I live and breathe colors but! @ciriofcintras is the only one I follow who edits  like that and the only one I need because everything she makes is amazing, neat, and sharp. Always the right balance of shades. special mention to my girl @mariathorpe use of muted colors that always fit the mood so well!

Tag someone who gifs for a fandom you love:

Well, too many to count I think. If we’re mutuals, there’s a good 90% chance that’s because you’re gifmaker too and we share fandoms! To name a few, @number5theboy you already know I’m ride or die for lizzie but the thoughtfulness she puts in each gifset makes it extra special! @andyoudoctor myra is constantly improving and dishing out amazing content

Tag someone who uses text/typography really well in their gifsets:

becca @inejz-ghafa engy @alina-mal and ava @anya-chalotra are my go to for this particular type of inspiration! their careful placements and gradient and font work is always lovely, you can feel the effort behind it. typhography is the thing i waste more time on when i gif so i can really appreciate their art!

Tag someone who motivates you to step up your game:

miss ava for sure, becca again, @ogaferoga is a artist in their own right and no one does it like them. honestly ALL the people i’ve tagged here are the reason why i always strive to try new things and experiment more, i feel like we’re all learning together, at our own pace but together nevertheless and that’s so inspiring and comforting ♥

Tag someone who you have taken inspiration from:

again, i won’t ever deny the huge impact @anya-chalotra had on my current style. i try not to go with the exact type of edits of other gifmakers, unless it’s a particularly popular trend that doesn’t involve a particular attention to composition both out of respect and because i like to experiment on my own. but that’s exactly what ava pushed me to do, her edits showed me how much potential photoshop had that i wasn’t really exploiting so i got down to learn more about it! she remains my # editing goals for sure ♥

Tag gif makers who you admire and appreciate!: i love you guys so much, keep doing your thing and being awesome! @arnos @alethiometry @milkovivhs @allisonshargreeve @rockyblue @evakant @dykejaskiers @arthurpendragonns @starkkov @jessiemeili 

[oceanlandworld]

2, 5 , 8 , 11 , 20 , 33, 35

2. Favourite season

hmmm i gotta say s4! i LOVE the dynamic between sayer and hale during the nanite bodysharing soooo much and it has some of my favorite monologuing in the whole series - the part about identity in "your myriad curses" has stuck with me. after that my faves are s1 and then s5!

5. Favourite human character

can. can you guess

8. Favourite piece of random worldbuilding / lore Adam threw into an episode without ever explaining or elaborating

the bit in season one about how aerolith hired different architects for different parts of halcyon tower and that's why the tunnel out of the morgue infirmary is Like That is so funny to me always. it's so uncharacteristic of aerolith and so goofy in the way the earlier seasons were more in terms of the setting. like. who made this decision. why

11. Best character (main or minor; artificial or human) to share brunch with

HMM i feel like hale probably.

20. A song/poem/piece of art that reminds you of [specify character here]

oh godddd this is hard uhm. so many but i am gonna say les funérailles (prologue) left @ london for future + subentity young because i've been thinking about this one a bit lately... particularly

I wanna deserve you I wanna preserve you at no cost but I might as well kill you

33. In the parallel universe in which we get that happy ending where SAYER and Hale end up only somewhat grudgingly living together and learning how to be happy and care for themselves and each other - what do they call the stray cat that keeps showing up at their doorstep?

truck. it's a big grey barrel of a cat and they name it truck*

35. Tell me about any crossover and/or AU you'd like to write/read.

oh god i have had various ideas over the years but hmmm. not sure how much this counts but sometimes i think about worldbuilding regarding earth and how further exploration beyond "the pacific northwest was destroyed by a meteorite" would be really neat. i would love to see the recurring cast stuck on earth