#i really like the darker night time shadows in this scene it just looks like it has good texture ya know

[xinyuehui]

﹢﹢ Spring Outing ✦ Li Shen ﹢﹢

[moonchildstyles]

can we see what flower and gravity h would be like at a party like halloween night, but now they're together? how would it be different? I loved that scene in the story I would love to read more!

wordcount: 3.6k+

—————

"Did you want to get dinner afterwards, or just come home?" 

(Y/N) shifted in her spot, leaning closer to her mirror with her powder compact in hand. In the reflection, she caught Harry's eye as she patted the product into her skin. Just as he had been since she settled in to start getting ready before they went out, he watched each movement of her hands as they swept across her features. 

"Hm?" he hummed, a flutter of his lashes coming from behind his glasses when he finally met her gaze in the glass. A pink flush touched at his cheeks from being caught. "Sorry." 

A small smile worked its way onto (Y/N)'s lips at his reaction. Straightening her posture, she pulled away from her mirror to take in the full of her progress. "I asked if you wanted to go out for dinner after we leave, or if you wanted to come home instead." 

"Oh," Harry sounded, looking a bit sheepish now, "What time did y'want to leave?" 

Shrugging, (Y/N) sifted through her makeup bag, searching for the specific palette she wanted to wear on her eyes for the night. "I don't want to stay long, so probably early. We could get sushi, maybe—or we can make pizza here instead." 

Plucking out the small brushes she planned on using to pack and blend the shadows across her lids, she focused on her eyeshadow only realizing Harry hadn't answered until she was facing the mirror once more and he was fixated on her reflection. 

"Harry?" 

He blinked, his eyes on her hands. "What is that?" 

A pinch settled between (Y/N)'s brows. "What do you mean? Pizza?" 

His lips stretched into a small smile, finally flicking his gaze up to match her own. "No," he laughed, "What you're holding. Is that eyeshadow?" 

"Oh, yeah," she bubbled, twisting to actually look at him instead of through the mirror, "Did you want to see it?" 

Taking her invitation, Harry sidled up beside her on the floor before her mirror, folding his legs underneath himself. Carefully taking the offered palette from her hand, (Y/N) allowed him a moment to look while she focused on the rest of her face powders instead. 

Through the mirror, she saw him tracing over the shades embedded in the case, taking in every name and hue of the shadows. "How do you know which ones to use?" 

Fluffing a large brush over her cheeks to add a flush to her cheeks, (Y/N) wondered if this was what Harry felt like whenever she asked him a question about physics. It was cute seeing her genius boyfriend being unsure about makeup, confused over something simple. 

"You just use whatever ones you want," she said, pausing in her fluffing and sweeping, "There's a few 'rules', like, using mattes in the crease and starting lighter before going darker and all of that, but really I just use whatever one I like." 

Harry looked at the eyeshadows before looking up to her once more, his gaze repeating that circuit before finally settling on her. "What are you going to use tonight?" 

Assessing the shades in front of her, she tilted her head. "I'm not sure, but probably something simple. We should probably leave soon, so I don't want to do a lot." 

(Y/N) watched as Harry took in the hues before him once more, the furrow of his brow taking her back to Professor Stanfill's room as Harry pored over whatever equation or lab writeup they were tasked with. A creeping smile settled on her lips. 

Going back to finishing up her base, she let him have his fun and satiate his curiosity by going through her cosmetics and taking it all in. Putting down her blush brush, she tilted her head, tipping her chin and taking in the angles of her face. Satisfied with the flush now covering her skin, she focused on what was still missing at the moment. She would finish her eyes later, once Harry had his fill with her palette, but there were other components to take care of first. 

"H, could you pass me my highlight, please? It's just a single heart compact," she mumbled, flicking through her cup of brushes for the one she needed. 

Silently handing it over, (Y/N) stopped before she took the compact from Harry's hand. Instead of the highlight she asked for, there was another set of blushes in his hand, none being a heart shape. Eventually, when he heard her quiet huff of laughter, Harry looked up with wide eyes behind his glasses. 

"What?" he sounded, her open palette still in his other hand, "These are the ones, right?" 

"These are my blushes, honey," she smiled, folding his fingers over the compacts once more before searching through her bag herself. 

"Oh," he sheepishly breathed, "Sorry." 

"It's okay, you didn't know," she told him, pulling out the correct compact before getting back to her mirror, "I'm gonna need the palette soon, but you can keep looking before." 

When he didn't answer, (Y/N) peeked at him through the corner of her eye. He was focused on the shades once more, still attempting to apparently decode the hues and find patterns that weren't there. 

"Would—Or, can I help you pick the colors?" he asked, his voice decidedly quiet in the privacy of his bedroom. 

(Y/N) paused in the sweeping of the shimmer over her cheeks, she looked to Harry with a bright smile. "You want to do that?" 

A bashful smile settled on his features, tipping his head to the side under the pressure of her gaze. "I mean, if that's alright. I don't want to tell y'what to do or anything, I jus'... I've never really looked at makeup like this before, I want to figure it out." 

A breathy laugh fell from her lips then, a gentle hand reaching out to settle on his arm. "It's not physics, H. You don't have to figure it out, or anything. It's supposed to be fun. "

"I know," he sighed, "I jus'—You know." 

He didn't have to explain himself any further to her. She knew what he meant—she knew him. Harry wanted to figure out those patterns and find the formula for what worked, what made her enjoy putting on her makeup the way she did. He wanted to find the science behind the fun, and she wasn't going to stop him if that was what he wanted. 

"I know," she assured him, leaning forward just enough to press a single kiss to his cheek, "I have to finish a couple of things, so pick what colors you want and we'll see what we can make." 

The quiet curl of Harry's lips was enough for (Y/N), ready to accept any and every combination he might come up with. 

—————

"Harry!" 

If not for his grip on (Y/N)'s hand, Harry would have stumbled back at the eruption of his name when they stepped inside the party. With it still being rather early in the night, the party wasn't quite yet a party, still sitting in kickback territory. (Y/N) had assured him they would be heading out once more people started showing up within the next few hours, leaving the rest of the night to be theirs. 

With the small crowd present around the shared bottles of liquor, it was easy to spot new additions to the group—including when (Y/N) led him into the living room. It had been her who was greeted first, Naomi already present with her own partner for the night lagging behind. Whilst Ny and (Y/N) were still bubbling off about something that happened earlier in the day, someone had caught sight of Harry and cheered his name across the room. 

Peeling his eyes away from (Y/N), feeling himself blink owlishly from behind his lenses, he tried to find who had wanted his attention. Only one familiar face stuck out amongst the frat brothers plopped on the couch and leaning against the walls. Harry didn't know his name, but he recognized his face as the one that had been shrouded in a Scooby-Doo get up, letting him into the Halloween frat party that night to meet up with (Y/N). 

His hold pulsed around (Y/N)'s hand. "H-Hey," Harry smiled, hoping no one heard his stumbling tongue, "How are you?" 

Scooby, none perturbed by Harry's standstill, crossed the room to meet him. A friendly arm was extended, meaning to catch Harry in one of those frat-brother hugs he was only familiar with through watching it be performed on campus hundreds of times. Reluctantly, he let go of (Y/N)'s hand and reciprocated the half-handshake half-hug with Scooby. 

"I'm good, man," Scooby (was it more rude to ask for his name this late in the game, or to continue to call him by the name of a fictional dog? Harry wasn't sure) answered, "I didn't know you were coming tonight." 

"Yeah," Harry breathed, blindly reaching for the comfort of (Y/N)'s hand once more, "We're just stopping by for a little." 

Harry watched as Scooby's eyes skittered towards (Y/N), his brows dancing over his eyes once they returned to Harry. "Oh, got other plans?" 

A warm flush crept up the creamy skin of Harry's neck, reaching above the knitted neckline of his sweater. He knew where Scooby's head was at, and he wasn't sure if he enjoyed knowing that he thought of (Y/N) in that kind of position—even if it was with Harry. 

"Something like that," he offered, reaching his free hand up to adjust his glasses, "I was going to take her out for dinner, and all of that." 

"Nice," Scooby said, though his smile revealed he didn't think Harry was sharing the whole of the night's plans. "Hopefully, you'll stay long enough to at least play a couple of games with us. I feel like you'd be really good at beer pong, since there's all the angles and science and stuff." 

While he wasn't exactly wrong about the science and physics that went into the game, Harry had a hard time picturing himself being any good. Nonetheless, he offered a smile and nodded his head to Scooby. "I'll let you know." 

With that, Scooby was called off by the group he was previously sitting with, leading him away and leaving Harry to decompress. 

There was a reason he didn't come to these things. Parties made him nervous—there was so much to keep track of, he didn't like drinking around strangers, and there was always too many people in his space. (Y/N) was the only reason he would ever venture into these things and find joy in them. That was why he was going to cling to her hand like a lifeline. 

"That was nice," (Y/N) chirped, taking his attention. Behind her, he could see Ny carting her partner off towards the kitchen, her grip lax on her red cup. "I didn't know you knew Andy." 

(Silently, Harry pocketed that victory. Now he wouldn't have to keep that made up name for Andy and he didn't have to embarrass himself and ask)

"Um, yeah," he mumbled, "I met him at the Halloween party, but that's really it. I didn't think he remembered me, or anything." 

"How could anyone forget your costume?" (Y/N) teased, well aware that more than half of the student body had no idea what he was meant to be that night (including herself, but she conveniently forgot that part when she made her jokes). 

Harry squeezed her hand in his, a quiet smile touching at his lips as he kept his gaze low. "What do we do now?" he asked her, his voice a secret for just her to hear. 

Offering a half-shrug with a single shoulder bouncing, (Y/N) smiled through her glossy painted lips (a rosy shade he had picked). "Just hang out. Talk and maybe play a couple of games of beer pong if they pull out the table and stuff, but it shouldn't be too crazy. Why?" 

"You know I don't really come to these," he shared with her, hoping no one could overhear him and his mumblings, "I don't know what to do or who to talk to. I don't know anyone but you." 

Though he knew (Y/N) didn't completely understand his shyness, seeing as she was the complete opposite when it came to social interactions, she still tried. Firming her fingers between his own, she gave him that soft smile with her lashes fluttering under the melted, warm browns painted on her lids (another one of his choices). "Then, stick with me and we'll go when you're ready." 

Harry did feel reassured by her game plan, even if there was that stray thought of how pathetic it would look for him to be clinging to her all night while she swept through the party like a butterfly. If worse came to worst, he decided he'd at least go get her a drink by himself and talk to Naomi's partner so he didn't come off as both obsessed and pathetic. 

"Did you want a drink or anything?" (Y/N) questioned, pulling himself from his head. 

"'M okay," he murmured, "But I'll come with you to get one." 

When she started leading him towards the kitchen, Harry had a moment of deja vu, remembering the last time they were in this position on Halloween night. 

Eyes falling to her hips and the hug of her jeans over them, he figured it wouldn't be so bad to be following her all night after all. 

—————

When (Y/N)'s hand slipped out of his once more to greet a friend, Harry took a single step back towards the kitchen. Once she had broken away from the hug she was sharing with the newcomer, he ducked down to tell her he'd be right back. 

"Where are you going?" she asked, her skin warm and eyes wide.

"To get you some water, if that's alright," he murmured, offering her a small smile. Truthfully, he was worried he was taking up too much of her space and time hanging from her hand like a cute accessory. He wanted to give her a breather from him. 

"Oh," she sounded, her lips in a pouty gape, "Thank you. I'll be in here." 

A huff of laughter fell from his lips at her response. The single drink she'd had definitely was hitting her head. "I'll be back, sweetheart." 

He could feel her eyes sitting on his back as he stepped away just before her friend asked who he was. "That's my boyfriend," (Y/N) answered, the title making Harry's shoulders broaden and chest puff, "He's getting me some water." 

Too far away then, he couldn't quite catch what her friend said in response, only knowing that the word cute was thrown around. Harry allowed that to carry him as he trekked back into the kitchen, the house decidedly fuller now that the night was beginning. It was still nowhere near the chaos that had been the Halloween party, but it wouldn't take long before the Friday night fun began. He hoped (Y/N) would be ready to leave before then. 

Taking his time, Harry stole around the kitchen and filled a red plastic cup with icy water for her. From the corner of his eye, he could see a semi-familiar group of boys carrying a folding table down the hallway, with a definitely-familiar voice whooping in excitement. Scooby—Andy, he corrected himself—was setting up the beer pong table it sounded like. He wondered if Andy remembered the invitation he gave to Harry for him to play alongside them. 

Hesitating with the cup in his hand, Harry thought about following the group out there. He'd give (Y/N) her water, then ask Andy if he could help set up—maybe that would remind him that Harry would be a winner at the game, with all the "science and stuff". A moment later, he tried to picture himself playing the game, heavy sweater on his form and the only fraternity lingo he knew being what he picked up around campus. It would probably be best if he stayed by (Y/N)'s side. 

Turning in the opposite direction of the game, he started towards where he knew (Y/N) was waiting, the cup beginning to chill the palm of his hand with the amount of ice he'd poured in.

Just where she said she would be, (Y/N) was in conversation with another two friends, the one he'd seen before he left, now flitting away with another group. A lopsided smile tugged on his mouth; that was his flower, attracting anyone and everyone to get a look at her. 

Sidling up beside her, he carefully stepped into the conversation with a small nudge against his arm. (Y/N)'s features brightened when she saw him, whatever story she was telling was still spilling from her lips as she took his offered gift. He took her hand once more, settling at her side until he would quietly introduce himself. 

"Thank you," she chirped once she finished her story and fielded the reactions from her friends, "Guys, this is—"

"Harry!"

She was abruptly cut off, Harry's name being shouted by another on the other end of the room. Swiveling his gaze through the quiet groups now occupying the space, Harry saw Andy's familiar face with his eyes on him. 

The couch in the center of the living room was now pushed to the side, making way for the table that took center stage. Red cups like the one in (Y/N)'s hand were now decorating the graffitied table, arranged in half finished pyramids with the missing pieces still under construction.

Once Andy realized he'd gained Harry's attention, he beckoned him over. "You're still playing right?" he asked, his voice decidedly louder than needed for the quiet space, "We've got first dibs." 

Instinctively, Harry stayed rooted in his spot, his hand in (Y/N)'s becoming an anchor. Was he playing?

"I didn't know you were going to play with them," (Y/N) excitedly bubbled from his side, a now familiar shimmery taupe sparkling on her eyelids, "Go before they fill your spot!" 

He hesitated, unwilling to completely unlatch his hand from hers. "Are you sure? We—I don't want to make you stay if you're ready—" 

"I'm sure, H," she cut him off, doing the hard work of letting go of his hand in favor of pushing him towards the assembling game, "We'll leave whenever you're ready. I want to watch you play." 

It was the encouraging smile on her lips that had him taking those steps away. He offered a friendly smile towards her friends he still didn't know the names of, before melting into the pods of people scattered around. Andy greeted him with a cheer once he was close enough, pulling Harry into another half-hug, half-handshake. 

"This is Harry," he introduced him, to the opposing team of two stationed across the table, "He's the science guy I was telling you about." 

"Oh, yeah," one of the others sounded, "You're the one that dressed as a pussy doctor on Halloween, right?" 

Though Harry wanted badly to correct that assumption—especially when he heard the melody of (Y/N)'s laugh filtering through the room—he kept his mouth shut. Instead, he gave a tight smile and a nod of his head. "That's me." 

Apparently, that was a killer joke he'd made seeing as the others, Andy included, laughed around him. 

"You're right, he is funny," the final man said, running a hand through his shaggy hair, "I'm Blake." 

"Nice to meet you," Harry smiled, unsure of if this was the time to actually shake his hand or if this was the kind of meeting that warranted another half-hug. 

Before much else could be said, Andy interrupted, insisting it was time to start the game. (Apparently the other team was made up of Blake and Adam—two names Harry was going to have to fight hard to remember after tonight). A quick rundown of the rules was shared, including house rules Harry figured were unique to how this set of friends played, before he was forced to speak up. 

"I—uh—Actually, 'm driving tonight, so I don't think I can drink. Sorry," Harry piped up, dropping his eyes from Andy's. Maybe he shouldn't have accepted the invitation. 

"Oh, yeah," Andy sounded, adjusted the skewed cups in front of him, "You're taking your girlfriend out tonight. No worries, man, I'll just drink for both of us, I don't care." 

"Yeah?" Harry brightened, not expecting to be allowed to continue playing a drinking game when he wasn't even going to be drinking. 

"Yeah, no problem. I'm crashing here tonight, anyway, so I'll be fine." 

Harry opened his mouth to thank his new friend, when he was cut off by another on the other side of the table. Adam, with a pong ball in his hand, looked to Harry with a pinch in his brows. "Who's your girlfriend?" 

Reflexively, Harry scanned his gaze over the room until he found (Y/N). He shared her name with the table, a soft smile tucking into his lips. 

"That's right!" Blake said, taking a beat to throw the first ball and miss the cup on Harry's side, "We saw you guys in the kitchen on Halloween. Good for you." 

He couldn't help the flush that drew its way up his cheeks and to the tips of his ears at Blake's declaration. He very vividly remembered being in that kitchen with (Y/N), too. 

"That was us," Harry murmured, bringing his hand up to knuckle at his nose in hopes of concealing the growing smile on his lips. 

"Don't let them distract you, Harry," Andy commanded from his side, "You've got to teach me how to do the velocity or whatever on the ball so we win." 

Another one of (Y/N)'s laughs made it wards through the room and directly to him. 

Parties weren't so bad.

—————

eeeeeek I hope everyone likes! thank u sm for reading, sorry for any mistakes, and if there's any ideas or requests or anything that you have please send them in!

[howisjoostfanfictionforfree]

Twice as Many Shadows

Joost Klein x Vampire!reader

Real person fiction!

CW: 18+, MDNI, RPF, getting roofied, attempted sexual assault, body horror, reference to violence against animals, cannibalism, no smut yet sorry (that’s in part 3 heehee), obligatory club scenes, countless other cliches, please let me know if I’ve forgotten anything

Reader: vampire!reader, female!reader, not descriptive with reader’s appearance but I did give them a bit of personality and a backstory that I hope does not detract from the ability to self insert,,,, yeah I may have gone too hard on backstory

Other notes: Story takes place Fall of 2022,,,,Also big thanks to my irl bestie for his help identifying stray plot bunnies and big thanks to @joosthead for always encouraging me and giving me so much advice over time when it comes to writing! You’re amazing!!!

Word count: ~5,900

Real person fiction! Beware! 👻

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You’ve been so many places over the past few years but Amsterdam is a first.

The Netherlands club scene tickles you and Amsterdam is the center of it all. Bouncing from city to city and country to country has kept you sane but this place has you pausing for the first time in what feels like forever.

The energy of summer saturated the nightlife when you arrived and parties raged until the dawn. Festival season was loud and unignorable but even the mainstay clubs and bars were full to bursting for months on end. Anywhere a body could fit there was a party to accommodate.

Even now as long warm nights turn crisper and darker as summer turns to autumn, the Dutch party on and you find yourself carried away by the momentum they never seem to lose.

It’s easy to stay. Maybe it's just been long enough since you started all this that you feel like you can breathe normally. Maybe you're just far enough away.

Maybe it really is just something about Amsterdam.

You’re growing attached to this place. You dread the day you will have to leave.

He catches your eye at the club. You notice him first, of course. Can hear him from clear across the room despite the bone-rattling music and a hundred other people.

It’s a Friday night and you itch to be among the crowd. Close enough to feel like one of them and share in their moment. You wish it were yours. You will make it yours too, just like always. 

Something about the exact way he looks and the exact way he speaks to his group of friends is so striking you couldn't ignore him if you tried. He jokes with an open affection that just shouldn't be possible in words chosen so crass and shouted so loud. Never have you heard ‘cancer dick’ sound like an endearment. 

He is so yellow and pink and blue. Your three new favorite colors. Golden hair almost luminescent under the black lights. Cheeks as pink as his flashy jacket. Eyes bluer than the toxic looking drink in his hand.

You couldn't say whether or not he is conventionally handsome. The sight of him immediately fills a space in your brain you didn't know existed like a lock and key and bowls over your pre-existing notions of the word.

Every part of his face fits in perfect proportion to the rest in a way you have never seen and it has you floored.

There's nothing unusual about it, nothing you can put your finger on, just something absolutely entrancing. 

He isn't just beautiful either. That perfect face is radiating an attitude like no one else in the room. No one else looks as happy, as carefree, as genuinely joyous. You can hear it in his words, see it in how he dances like he doesn't care who is watching. You can tell he doesn't. 

How long has it been since you felt such strong attraction? It makes you stupidly nostalgic for how simple things like this might have been when you were human.

You could have flirted with him, danced with him, maybe even taken him home, gotten his number in the morning.

Now, he is everything you want, everything you want to be, and most definitely everything you can't have. 

Not like that at least. He wouldn't have you. 

He catches your gaze from across the floor. Yeah, you probably are staring aren’t you. But you don’t look away. One perk of your creature status is a much increased ability to not give a fuck. Even when you really really should. His eyes rove over you and his face breaks into what you would call a smirk. 

You want to see it fall as you bite a chunk out of him. 

Okay, time to leave. Better get out of here before you do something weird. Turning away, you weave through the crowd. You feel his eyes on you the whole way out.

Literally. Vampires can do that. 

The itch of his gaze evaporates as you step out the door and reach for a cigarette. Disgusting but necessary. Perfect for blotting out all the people-smells that you’re suddenly having a harder time than usual ignoring.

The first drag is fucking toxic but it’s immediately easier not to focus on the cocktail of male sex hormones the club atmosphere provided. You wonder which are his of the dozens dancing on your tongue. 

The overlap between sexual attraction and the urge to hold someone between your jaws still surprises you sometimes. Of course it isn’t always about sex. You could want to eat someone you hated just as bad. Most often it’s a complete stranger.

It’s like squares and rectangles. You might not think about fucking someone every time you need blood, but every time you do want to fuck, you also want to sink your teeth in. 

If you’re being honest though, this observation is based on fairly brief encounters with fairly drunk men. In reality, you haven’t gotten any in a while. Years in fact. Literal monster behavior seems to be a bit of a turn off for most men and sexy encounters always end the moment you get a good few gulps in and their struggling makes you start to feel guilty. 

You sigh. This is far from the first time you’ve wondered at this particular predicament. Why can’t a girl get some?

You flick the butt to the ground and grind it out with your heel. It’s about time to head home. You came out to have fun and you don’t actually need to feed right now. Even if you did, it would probably go poorly given the mood you’re in. 

You don’t have the archetypical problem of killing people when you feed, not that you’ve never killed anyone, but the trauma level for whichever poor person you choose on a given night can vary greatly depending on your state of mind and right now you’re feeling a little worked up. It might be more bloody than usual. 

Ideally, it’s always drunk people you feed on, as fucked up as that sounds, in the end they usually remember less. That or sleeping people.

God. So much noncon. 

But a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do. Blood banks actually ask a lot of questions and you’ve never felt like trying to intimidate a doctor into faking a condition for you, too afraid of catching their interest and becoming a science experiment.

There aren’t any vampires you've met yet that could point you in a helpful direction either. You never even got to know the vampire that turned you. 

The exact circumstances of your metamorphosis were actually a bit of a mystery. You had no memory of being bitten.

One night you came-to in the middle of the street, blocks away from where you should have been, shoulder bloody, and within the hour you were crawling out of your skin as you transformed. 

Outwardly, you looked no different, but that night your senses shifted and heightened and your bones and muscle tore apart and regrew stronger in far too short a time. 

It was a good thing you had been alone. You had been with your friends before. It was a girls night out catching the newest Spiderman in theaters.

Sitting there on the pavement, blood seeping into your shirt, you knew there was something off and you stumbled home without finding them. 

When you arrived you realized you were more than just in shock. It hurt. Everything hurt. You should have gone to the hospital. But how could you have known?

It came on fast.

By the time you knew there was something really wrong, you were too weak to make it anywhere in your agony. Too weak to even make it to your phone in your coat pocket hanging on the door. 

In the end, you are glad no one got to witness what happened. What you are sure would have been beyond explanation. The sight of your own flesh writhing under your skin is unforgettable. The tiles of the kitchen floor where you collapsed took days to clean. 

The only thing that kept you from totally freaking out in the moments afterward was the insane thought that maybe you had become Spiderman. As stupid as that sounds.

Not that you were a hero or anything.

That much was clear from the beginning when you stumbled outside to rip into the dog in the yard across the street after realizing you could hear your neighbors through the wall and it was making your mouth water. 

Dogs are disgusting. At least it didn’t die. 

You still watch Spiderman now and then on the days you're feeling a tad existential. Honestly, you wish you could be Spiderman. You don’t really know what you are.

Your heart still beats and you definitely don't sparkle, but your canines are extendable and people really do look delicious sometimes. You feel the need to feed on people but no one you've ever fed on has turned. You checked.

It would be nice if whoever bit you had stuck around to talk it out. In the end, vampire just seemed like the best word for it. 

Never mind the flesh eating part. 

What were you saying? Oh yeah, if you try and find someone drunk enough to not notice a little bite right now, you might accidentally decapitate them. A slight exaggeration, but still. 

The worn cobblestones glitter under the amber lamplights as you make your way down the street towards the tram stop, still thinking about that perfect face.

The breeze carries a real hint of chill now, letting go of the last traces of your favorite summer since you started all this.

The shadows on the water are deeper than you remember ever seeing them. They creep up over the edges of the canals to fill the street and swallow the alley you turn down. 

You make it only a few feet before a group of guys round the opposite corner and take up the entire width of the passage.

Even with the knowledge that they would ultimately move to the side, you don’t want to deal with the urges they might inspire in such a tight space. Not right now.

Somehow you’re only feeling more and more keyed up.

Making a quick decision, you turn around to head back the way you came. The thumping of the bass becomes detectable as you near the club again, rattling you physically to match your internal agitation. 

You round the corner to try going up the other street this time and collide harshly with the exact person you had been looking to get away from. 

What was even the point of being a vampire if you couldn’t avoid clumsy moments like these?

 You take a step back as you raise your hands up slightly in a placating gesture. 

“Het spijt me,” you say trying to dodge around him quickly as his scent absolutely floods your senses. 

Fuck, he smells good. 

The general mixed smells of horny male in the club had been enough when looking at him before, but here and now, you realize you are in real trouble. The way he smells itches something deep in you. You want to fuck him. You also want to bite him. Hard.

Go now. Leave.

He spins as if to follow you as you skirt around him. 

“No problem! Hey I saw you earlier, are you leaving already?” He says in perfect English. He must think you’re a tourist. Technically, you kind of are. 

“Is my accent that bad?” you say, pausing in step to look at him. 

What the fuck are you thinking. You need to go right now. 

He grins. ”Haha, yes a little.” 

You can’t help yourself. You can tell he’s teasing. He was charming before from all the way across the room and he’s just as charming right now. All blond fluff and cheekbones and effortless charisma. You turn to face him fully.

“Well, yeah, I think I’m done for the night,” you say carefully. 

He leans in a little, opens his mouth to say something else, but stops dead when he sees what must be your eyes turning pitch black. 

You feel the subtle tug as it happens. The proximity to something so fucking potent as he leans forward pushes you over an edge you didnt even know was there. You’re literally engaging night vision like you’re going to hunt him or something. Ridiculous. You haven't had this problem in years. 

“Fuck!” he stumbles back. “Your eyes! A-Are you…….What!?” 

You’re still just standing there and you can tell he doesn’t know what to say. For as much as pop culture loves the supernatural, no one is ever actually prepared to encounter it.

You can tell he isn’t drunk enough to forget what he’s seeing right now but once again you don’t care like you probably should.

You allow your gaze to flit from his shocked stare down to his lips and then, after a moment, to his throat. When you look up again, it’s obvious he’s blushing. His eyes have become so dark they could rival your own if it weren't for the sclera.

Less than a second later, the smell of his arousal hits you.

What the fuck?

It stirs you more intensely than you thought possible and you know it's now or never. Leave or absolutely traumatize this beautiful stranger. 

You summon all your willpower and turn tail and run.

You don’t even try to conceal your speed. It's dark enough and the risk has to be taken if you stand any chance of getting far enough away to save the situation by the time that willpower runs out. 

Besides, he’s already seen you. 

By the time you reach your street you’re panting. God, that was like four kilometers. Whatever fresh Twilight bullshit that says vampires never run out of stamina is just wrong. You may have done it in a nice neat ten minutes but still, that was rough.

The burning in your chest has you feeling decidedly less sexy and you walk the rest of the way home. 

Home was a small apartment you had found on the edge of the city where you could afford to not have a roommate and the landlady let you pay month by month instead of signing on for a whole year. It was always hard finding places like that.

In the few months you had been there not one of your neighbors was especially loud or smelly or nosey and you counted it a lucky find. It was a perfect spot really, and you were glad it was within your budget.

You had been working remote for the duration of your worldly travels. Even if things got tight sometimes, it was a good enough paying job and you wouldn't trade it for anything since it allowed you to move around when you wanted.

After your great murderous fuck-up, you had found it was very soothing to be out of country, even if you were sure no one was onto you. 

It would be pretty hard to pin anything on you with no body.

As far as you know, the poor guy is still considered missing. Well, you say ‘poor guy,’ but the guy was kind of an asshole. You had never been drugged before, but you could tell for him it was a practiced routine.

The horror of the night started at the bar at the local theater. Not a place you had thought to be on your guard. You were there with a few friends in full costume to catch this month's performance of Rocky Horror.

It was intermission and you were all milling about refilling drinks and stretching your legs and fighting to fit as many people at once into the lone photo booth in the corner. The bar was small and you did not expect to stop there for longer than it took to get a new beer. 

He came up next to you, too close from the get-go considering there was no one else standing there, and made conversation while he had you captive waiting for your drink.

He wasn’t from around there, was visiting he said, and wanted to know what people do for fun. You could tell he really meant he wanted to know what fun he could have with you.

As forward as he was, it wasn't unusually pushy and you were ultimately unbothered when you broke away to find your friends. You never even saw how he managed to dose you. 

You never found your friends.

You don’t even remember how you made it to his car. 

One minute you were walking back to your seat and the next, you were outside. It was cold. Someone was carrying you bridal style.

You were pretty out of it for a good minute. Not sure how long exactly, but long enough that when you started processing things again, you were pulling up by the side of the road near a cow pasture.

He clearly thought you were still out of it because he removed his hand from your thigh, cut the engine, and got out to go around to open your door without a word. 

God knows what he had in mind for you that night, but you never found out because as it happens, he was right, you were still kind of out of it. Not like he had intended, your metabolism already working through a dose surely meant to incapacitate, but you were still loopy enough that logic was miles away and a cold and creeping dread began to fill you as you realized your situation.

The inability to think clearly, though it was getting better with each second, was only more agitating. 

It didn't even occur to you at the time that he stood no chance, that this was all ridiculous. You had been different for too short a time back then.

He was a threat, and one way or another you were about to respond. 

He opened your door. 

You had never felt the kind of fear-panic-rage before that you did in that moment. 

You were up in a flash as soon as he opened it wide enough and dragged him with you into the field.

Your strength was unexpected and his last words were no more than a surprised shout before you ripped his throat out and drank.

Each time he thrashed, the panic fought to overwhelm you and you drank faster to quiet him. He couldn't hurt you if you made him stop moving. 

When he ran dry, the panic-rage still burned and it seemed only natural to take a bite. A real bite. You had to make sure he stopped. 

So you did. 

And then another bite. 

And another and another and before you knew it, he had no head. 

Then, he had no arm and then soon, he only had a leg. 

The only thing you didn’t eat was his clothes. 

When light started to creep over the horizon, you finally came out of your state. You felt both calm and horrified. The threat was gone, but you also didn’t know you could do that. Where did it all go? Forget the size of your stomach, your entire body couldn’t have fit his inside of it. 

It was a little startling at the time. 

You burned his clothes and drove his car to the bottom of a lake. It might have been enough, probably was, but after that you didn’t stick around long to find out.

All this was to say that you enjoyed where you were now. It had been a good couple of years and you were now only vaguely disturbed about your latent abilities. You had even gotten back to the point where you were going back to bars and clubs again!

There was a time when you stayed away after that. You had been slow to return to enjoying nightlife, but Berlin had done wonders in that department and Amsterdam only solidified it. There was something about the Dutch brand of party that made you feel alive.

Tonight put a slight damper on that feeling of progress though. You’re not sure what you would have done to that guy if you hadn't left that very second.

Even if the situation was entirely different, it was the first time since that disastrous night that you have felt so out of control.

You can’t say you felt particularly murderous but you did want to hurt him in ways that make you blush a little now as you trudge up the steps to your door and wrestle with your keys. 

Ugh. You can never repeat that night. 

You will have self control. 

You do have self control. 

Mostly. 

You should just calm down already. As you bolt the door and slip off your shoes, you resolve to make tea and forget about it. Besides, you didn’t really do anything and no one will ever believe him. 

The next day finds you completely normal and you spend your time working. You had a good night's sleep all things considered.

It’s such a good thing that vampires can sleep. Sure, maybe you would get more done if you didn’t, but honestly you think you would go crazy. You love your comfy little nest and you love turning your brain off. It needed to be turned off after that encounter. 

By next week, the entire thing is forgotten (filthy lie) and you feel like it is high time for another visit to the club. Boredom is killer and you can't resist anyways. Last time was surely a one-off.

You do yourself up and make your way downtown. 

The street lamps reflect off the water and the countless neon signs of bars and restaurants give the streets an ethereal glow despite the shadows, deep as ever.

They scatter in in every direction, multiplying in protest of the city lights and gathering themselves to obscure every corner.

The pounding bass spills out the door of every club you pass and the carefree Friday night energy of every person wandering the streets is tangible. 

Amsterdam is so awesome. 

You purposefully choose a new spot you found on Instagram, hoping to avoid running into him again.

You’ve never been big on social media, but ever since your life took you on the road it became critical to your navigation of the world. It took some getting used to, especially with no one in your life to ask more than superficial questions, but you figured it out. 

It still startles you occasionally just how non tech-savvy you can be. It’s not usually an issue but when you forget how to convert file types or struggle to navigate online forums you can't deny you’re a little behind the curve. Honestly, you might as well be a vampire from the 17th century not the 21st. One hidden away in a decaying manor far from modern technology. 

An exaggeration, but it really feels that way sometimes. 

You often pat yourself on the back for learning how to use the software necessary to do your job. Your career hadn’t required it of you before and it was only due to the fuckass pandemic that it had become an option. Now that you had the tech down it was very convenient to be able to do your job virtually.

That had been one of your biggest concerns in the beginning. How were you gonna fund your life on the run if you had to constantly search for new employment? 

When you get to the club it is delightfully similar to the photos and you spend your evening rotating between dancing your ass off and people-watching from the side when the smells and jostling get a little too exciting.

Yes, the club is exciting. The right amount this time around. You feel like a real young adult. You give yourself another pat on the back for your foray into normalcy.

It’s a smaller club on Lange Leidsedwarsstraat. By no means tucked away, but far enough from Leidseplein main square that there are far fewer tourists.

The ice is starting to melt in your drink. You can’t be bothered with it when there is so much to look at.

There can't be more than fifty people crammed in this tiny renovated warehouse but they manage to sport a variety of fashion and dance styles. Inevitably, you spot hakken amongst them. The tangle of decks and mixers on the small raised stage is huge and the lone DJ operating it all glows in alternating colors as lights strobe from behind to scatter over the crowd.

You work your way out of the corner and back onto the dance floor again. The upbeat song playing now hits just the right vibe for how you’re feeling. 

Doe de Fryslân bop

Wist je niet dat ik van Fryslân kom?

Dude, doe de Fryslân bop

Blaas het op als een fietsbandpomp

You bop along for a minute as the song demands and notice a group of several people shouting along much louder than everyone else. They seem to know every word.

One of them facing away from you turns in place as he dances and suddenly you’re locking eyes with the exact same guy. 

Jesus Christ, what are the odds. 

Well, maybe not terrible odds if you consider he’s probably a local. 

But still. Goddammit. 

His face instantly lights up and it would be kind of cute if you weren’t panicking. Those baby blues pack a punch. What happened to not giving a fuck?

Before you can move a single muscle to make your retreat, he is surging towards you through the crowd and  o h   s h i t   you did not expect that.

You thought he’d be running too. Even if he had been surprisingly horny in the face of inhuman eyes, you figured the freakish speed there at the end would have been enough to spook him.

Shocked, you fail to stop him from grabbing your wrist like he can tell you’re gonna make a break for it again. Vampire reflexes who? You open your mouth to protest but before you can say anything he leans in and bites your shoulder.  

What.

WHAT?

You realize you’re shouting it as he pulls away laughing. 

“Fancy seeing you here!” He is way too happy.

“You bit me!”

“Are you gonna bite me back?” 

“What!?”

“C’mon, I know you want to.” The way he waggles his eyebrows should not be attractive. It is.

“Excuse me?!”

“I’ve watched enough tv to know a bloodsucker when I see one.” He looks stupidly smug.

“Yeah, tv. You should probably stop watching so much.”

“Your eyes were beautiful y’know.” You feel your own heart stutter.

“I think you had too much to drink.”

“Please, that was not drunk at all, you should have seen how we ended the night!”

“Yeah, you definitely were. But you’re joking, right? You should know most girls aren’t into roleplay right off the bat.” Maybe you can embarrass him into leaving you be. 

He scoffs and brings his other hand to the back of your head so he can pull you in as he leans down to whisper in your ear. 

“Why did you run?”

You can tell he’s deliberately holding your face close to his throat and god damn him, you know what he is trying to achieve and it works. This close to the source, the other smells of the club can’t run interference.

His presence is just as overwhelming as the first time and the smell of his skin and the thump of his heart is so close now you can’t help your reaction once again.

You feel the familiar tug behind your eyes and the shadows of the room start to melt away. The little silver chain sitting against his clavicles snaps into perfect definition.

He pulls away to gauge your reaction, the sly motherfucker, but his grin melts into stupefied wonder when he sees exactly what he had hoped for. 

“There it is.” He whispers. His heart is beating harder than ever and his scent rushes forward to envelop you even though you are no longer pressed to his neck. He smells like adrenaline. He smells like arousal.

You pout as he drinks you in. He pulled a fast one on you. 

Realizing he’s still holding your wrist, you flex in warning. He grips tighter like he’s afraid to let you go.

“C’mon, I’m not gonna go around gathering a mob with torches and pitchforks, what’s the big deal?”

You hold his gaze. You remember very well what the big deal is. What you are capable of when emotions are this high. He has you feeling something, alright.

But, you have to admit, even though everything about his presence is sending you into the stratosphere, it is nothing like that night. This feeling, albeit intense, is a good one. 

When was the last time someone talked to you like this? After seeing what you were? Never. Maybe you overreacted before. Maybe you can control yourself. As much as you want to rip into his shoulder you're not doing it. You‘re enjoying looking at him too much.

He really is beautiful.

Right now it doesn't feel like you're in danger of a big deal 2.0. Just maybe something equally stupid.

“You know I’ll have to kill you if you out me right?” You look over at the rest of his group where they are still dancing. 

His eyes widen at your indirect confirmation- you are a vampire. His grip becomes stiff and you finally get a whiff of fear. Good. Even if you’re lying, he should know who he’s dealing with. 

He stutters a bit, “I-I told some of my friends I saw something crazy, but they don’t believe me I swear! They just think I was drunk! Like you said!” 

God, he’s outing himself already. He’s so lucky you’re not actually evil. You just laugh and begin swaying to the beat again. You break his hold on your wrist effortlessly now, just a hint of real strength, so you can grab his hand instead. 

“Don’t worry, I’m just teasing. Dance with me?”

Even in the low lighting of the club, you can tell with your shifted vision how hard he’s blushing. In spite of his fear, he smells like he’s ready to fuck you pregnant. 

God, he’s a freak. 

You love it.

He acquiesces after a stunned moment and begins to bounce along with you. After a minute, you see him start mouthing the lyrics and it strikes you again how well he seems to know them. 

“A favorite of yours?” you say. 

”I wrote it!” he exclaims, leaning in. “You like?” 

“Did you really?” You are genuinely skeptical.

He scoffs. “I did! I am huge Netherlands artiest, don’t you know Joost Klein? Also, I know the DJ so he plays my stuff.” You hear humor in his voice but you don’t know what part is a joke.

Joost Klein. Huh. You have never heard that name in your life.

“Wow, I feel so lucky to meet a celebrity.” You bat your eyes at him.

He clocks your bullshit immediately.

“Really! I can show you my stuff! Come to my studio and I’ll show you what I’m working on!” 

You smirk. You are really dancing quite closely now. 

“Wow I dunno, I never usually let boys show me their stuff on the first date.”

He chokes out a laugh “So this is a date huh?” his hands are on your waist now.

“I don’t know yet” You say. “Dance with me some more.” 

Because you are insane, you turn around and lean up against him. The music is a little slower and heavier now than the alt-pop rap playing before. Joost gets the message immediately and soon you’re grinding to the beat. Already, you can feel his bulge against your ass.

You let yourself get lost in the rhythm of the music and the feeling of him against you. It's easy to lose time when his scent and his touch surround you like this. You could almost forget the itch in your canines. 

His head bows and his lips skim your shoulder where he bit you. What a strange sensation. A role reversal. You still can't believe he did that. For a minute, you feel strikingly human.

You arch up into him and let your head fall back against his chest. His lips move up to your ear and he asks, “Can I have your number?” You twist yourself back around to face him. 

It’s getting harder not to just kiss him. 

You maintain eye contact for a minute, his gaze searching yours.

Without breaking the stare-down, you reach into his pocket oh-so-slowly and pull out his phone, offering it to him.

He is starting to look a little crazed but he breaks the eye contact to look down and open it for you. You punch in your number when he turns it to you and slide it back into his pocket, just as slowly. 

Hooking a finger into his belt loop, you look up at him under your lashes. Joost looks like he doesn’t know whether to fuck you now or fuck you later. If he can wait to get you home.

You don’t let him deliberate. 

Leaning up, you ghost your lips over his. “See you soon.” 

And with all the stupid supernatural guile you can muster, you sink backwards into the crowd and disappear. The last glimpse you catch of his face is one of outrage. 

You laugh all the way down the street. 

A side street without lamps lends the shadows you need for cover as you give it just a bit of a speed boost in case he gets the idea to go looking for you again. Lord knows you’ve bumped into him enough times now that he might think to try it. 

You aren’t even to the end of the street before you get a text.

        +31 06 5337496:  y r u so mean to me ( ｰ̀εｰ́ )

          +31 06 5337496:  when will you come to my studio?

          +31 06 5337496: ପ(๑•ᴗ•๑)ଓ ♡

You're still not sure what he really means by studio. Maybe it was a joke for his apartment. A studio apartment? Or maybe he really does make music. That would be fun. Not that you know much about Dutch music. Or Dutch. You sigh. It’s a process. 

Saving his number you write back.

        cap

          I am not mean

          had to get out of there before you turned full blood-                 

          sucker on me biting my shoulder like that

          Tuesday? 

The dot-dot-dot pops up and goes away no less than seven times before he finally replies.

          Joost:  (/>w<)/ yayyyy can’t wait!!

           Joost:  meet me at 16 Schimmelstraat at 14:00 :333

You can't help but snort at the way he texts. Definitely a funny guy. You have such good taste. 

It took him quite a while to respond compared to the speed at which he first texted you. You might be technologically illiterate, but even you know that means Joost had to think about something a little harder.

He does seem to get flustered by everything vampiric. Oh this was going to be so much fun.

On the other hand, Joost might just be a slow texter. 

You know where you would place your bet. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you so much for reading!! Sorry for the atrocious amount of backstory. I didn't realize what I’d done until it was too late (and I didn’t want to rewrite). I promise the next one will be more Joost-centric interaction and less boring exposition. Btw this series will include smut! Yay!!

[mae-is-crazy]

I was wondering if you could do Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes one shot where Mae and Noa are sitting by a fire in a cave, like you know how some movies do like silhouette scenes where the light shines on them but you can only see their silhouettes and they're talking very softly I'm not really sure you can come up with something maybe it's something serious or like something touching or heartwarming. But I always imagine they would be tired and like exhausted or something or emotionally or physically but they're like getting closer to each other I mean they're Bond or something which eventually mae fall asleep on him and he feels all awkward X3

Okay, I'm being so serious right now what I say that I LOVE THIS REQUEST!! So frickin' wholesome and cute. I'm usually one to go into serious and darker content, but I couldn't miss the opportunity to write some fluff. I had a lot of fun writing this. I hope you have just as much fun reading the finished product :) :)

Signs of Constant (Noa/Mae)

Synopsis: A quiet night by the fire leads to sharing the beauties of two different world.

(This story is unedited. Edits will be conducted at a later date).

In the serene warmth of the fire in front of him, Noa observed Mae.

He studied her face like it was the last time he’d see it. And it very well could be; she’d been gone for two springs, off with who he assumed to be a group of intelligent ech- humans- so who knew how long she’d be gone for next time. When Anaya alerted him of her presence, Noa had felt this warm wave in his gut that pushed him to see her without a second thought.  

Through the limited lighting of the dancing flames, Noa took in her every feature.

Noa could see a faint scar on the bottom right side of her chin, one that hadn’t been there the last time she was around. Her hair looked different too. Darker? No, it was just the night. It did look shorter, but only slightly. It was still in that lose braid he last saw her with.

Something that hadn’t changed, however, was her eyes. Even with hues of orange engulfing the small cave the two were huddled in, its raging colors were no match against the cerulean shade in her eyes. Even before the two were formally introduced he’d first noticed the striking color, a color that shood out against the earthy browns and greens of his clan. They somehow seemed to shine brighter on the night.

As if reading his mind, Mae blinked in his direction. She smirked slyly as Noa quickly looked down at his lap. “Gotcha,” she teased lightly.

Noa silently prayed his dark pelt could hide whatever heat was radiating off his face. He turned to look behind him, instead focusing on the massive silhouettes on the rocky backdrop. It was clear enough the height difference between the two, but the fire only made it more obvious- almost monstrous.

An ape and a human. Two different species, two different worlds. Different ways of life and how they think the world should work. And yet they were at peace with one another.  It shouldn’t be possible, and yet here they were, sharing a fire.

Mae follows Noa’s field of sight. She watches the shadows behind them bounce across the rock wall. Noa side eyed her. A smile began creeping upon her face.

“My mom always did this when we had a fire,” Mae explained as eh shuffled herself to turn around, her back facing the fire. “You can tell stories with the fire.”

The put her hands up and together. She stacked her thumbs on top of each other and made a slight cup with her hands. She displayed it in front of the fire, and…

“It’s a bird,” Mae moved her hands in a fluid motion as if the creature was in flight. Noa couldn’t’ hide the amused chortle, only making the girl’s smirk grow into a toothy smile. Noa could feel a quickening sensation in his heart. Her eyes seemed to shine brighter through her smile- brighter than the flames in the pitch black night- because of her smile.

Mae changed her hands to form a new shape. This beast had a snout similar to that of a boar, but without jagged teeth or short, flappy ears- whereas this thing’s ears stood at attention. “It’s a dog.”

Noa gave her a confused glance. Mae put her hands down immediately after.

“The hands… are like sign.”

“I don’t know sign.”

Noa twisted his whole body to fully face Mae and she silently did the same. He put up one hand and took a deep breath before slowly twisting his fingers into different shapes. He’d tuck a finger into his parm or point to the side. He took a moment before moving onto each letter to let Mae absorb what she was seeing.

“Fire,” he whispered. Mae looked at her own hand. She glanced up at Noa’s hand and back down at hers before trying for herself. Noa watched the girl tale her time forming each character. When she’d make a mistake, he repeated the sign until she’d get it right.

Noa released a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He softly smirked. There was so much to learn from one another. So much to teach as well, it seemed.

Mae looked outside past the fire. The only thing visible in the dead of night was the celestial body of stars. It was a constant in this rapidly changing world. Noa found reassurance that, no matter what happened, he could as least look up each night and find that the stars hadn’t left him.

Noa signed without looking away from the girl. “Stars,” he murmured. She followed quickly in suit and mirrored his gestured. “Stars,” she mimicked quietly.

The ape nodded in approval. He raised his hand one more time, this time spelling out each word as he shaped it.

He tucked his thumb between his pinkie and ring finger. “M.”

Made a fist but being sure to keep his thumb exposed. “A.”

Noa’s fingers touched each other tightly and sat atop his thumb.

Mae beat him to finish the word.

“E.”

The two watched one another carefully. The silence that once brought Noa comfort now made him feel awkward, almost uneasy. Whereas Noa would stare at Mae, it seemed that she was doing it to him- thinking to herself, forming possible judgments. What did she see that he couldn’t?

The intensity in her glare suddenly shifted and her she relaxed her shoulders. Mae squeezed her eyes shut and dipped her head. She stretched out her arms and yawned. Before Noa could register what was happening, Mae leaned closer to him, resting her head against his shoulder.

Noa stiffened like a board. He heard his breath and eyed the fragile girl (though she was far from fragile outside of the physical scene). The fire was beginning to die down. Even so, Mae still did not shiver against Noa’s body.

He waited a minute, two, ten before settling on the idea that she’d fallen asleep. He tilted his head to catch a glimpse of her peacefully slumbering form.  The young ape felt truly honored to feel trusted with this precious girl’s life in such a vulnerable state.

Noa was just about to allow himself sleep when he heard a tiny voice against him:

“Tomorrow, I want you to each me your name.”

[verspia]

hii, i really liked your last work that was inspired by a song, so i was wondering if you could write smth thats inspired by “one of the girls” from the weeknd?💘

ONE OF THE GIRLS • KENAN YILDIZ

( pairing ) kenan yıldız x reader

thank you for this request i didn’t see it so im sorry it took so long 🥲

18+ mdni (i tried but it’s barely anything)

The city buzzes like a living thing outside, neon lights flickering in the distance as the bass-heavy music spills from every corner of the streets. It’s one of those nights where the air feels thick with the promise of something more—something just out of reach. Something in the air makes you feel restless tonight, charged with the kind of energy that hums beneath your skin and makes every light seem brighter, every shadow deeper. It’s one of those evenings that feels suspended in time, where the air is thick with anticipation and everything seems poised on the edge of something you can’t quite name. You find yourself in a dimly lit lounge downtown, a place where the music pulses softly against the walls and the conversations are low, like secrets whispered in the dark. It’s the perfect place to get lost, to disappear into the rhythm of the night and let the noise drown out whatever’s been weighing on your mind. The Weeknd’s voice hums softly over the speakers, the lyrics to “One of the Girls” cutting through the noise, dripping with seduction and blurred intentions.

That’s when your eyes land on him, Kenan. He stands at the far end of the bar, leaning casually against the counter with a half-empty glass of redbull in his hand, no alcohol. There’s something magnetic about him, something in the way he carries himself with a quiet confidence that seems to draw every gaze in the room. He’s tall, dressed in a sleek black shirt that clings to his frame, something he wouldn’t normally wear. Special occasion, you think to yourself as you observe sharp features set in an expression that hovers between amusement and something darker. Kenan’s presence has always been commanding, forcing everyone’s attention towards him, and the way he’s dressed makes it all the more obvious, his presence understated but impossible to ignore.

But, he’s not alone. There’s a girl with him, one of those effortlessly beautiful types who looks like she belongs in every magazine you’ve ever seen. She’s laughing, you can tell from the way her head tilts back, and she’s leaning into him, fingers grazing his arm in a way that’s too familiar, too easy. You watch the way he tilts his head down to listen to her, the faintest hint of a smile playing at his lips, and something tightens in your chest. It’s not jealousy—not exactly. But there’s a sting there, something sharp and aching, like watching a scene you’re not meant to be a part of. The feeling is something you’ve become all too familiar with, watching it happen too often, although the setting is usually starkly different from this one.

You try to shake it off, turning your attention back to the party, but the image of them lingers in the back of your mind, like a song you can’t quite get out of your head. You throw yourself on the stage, dancing around with a bunch of nameless bodies, yet you catch glimpses of them throughout the night, little flashes of Kenan’s dark eyes and her bright smile, and each time, you feel that same flicker of something you can’t quite name. You know this feeling—this mix of wanting and frustration, of being close but never close enough. It’s a game you’ve played before, a dance you know all too well, and still, you can’t seem to stop yourself from playing along. You can’t help it. His confidence is unwavering as he stands and you catch his eye. For a moment, it’s as if the whole room fades away, leaving just the two of you in a charged silence that says more than any words could. You can’t quite figure out what it is about him, but his demeanour has a gravitational pull to it that you always find yourself victim to.

The moment is over as quickly as it happened. His attention is back to the girl he’s been wrapped around and you turn back to the crowd you’re in.

Eventually, you find yourself near the edge of the rooftop, feet aching from the dancing you’d done in an attempt to forget, when Kenan approaches. He’s alone now, the girl nowhere in sight, and he leans against the railing beside you, close enough that you can feel the warmth radiating off him. For a moment, neither of you speaks, the silence stretching between you, filled only by the distant sounds of the city and the faint thrum of music. Then he looks over at you, you meet his gaze head on, catching his green eyes that sparkle under the moonlight with something golden dazzling amongst them.

A beat passes, you don’t look away, and neither does he. There’s a boldness in his stare, a challenge that you can’t quite ignore. He doesn’t smile, not exactly, but there’s a flicker of interest in his green eyes that passes across his face—a slight tilt of his head, a subtle arch of his brow that feels like an invitation. There’s something charged in the way he watches you, a subtle tension that sets your nerves alight. It’s not flirtation, it’s something deeper, something that makes your pulse quicken despite yourself. You can feel the pull of it, the way his gaze settles on you like a weight, and you find yourself moving toward him without really thinking about it, drawn in by some invisible thread that winds tighter with every step. The way his gaze sweeps over you, as if he knows everything you’re hiding, knows everything about you.

“This isn’t your usual type of thing,” he says, his voice low, almost drowned out by the music. It’s not a question, it’s a statement, and there’s something about the way he says it that feels like he’s already drawn his own conclusions.

“What gave it away?” you reply, trying to keep your voice steady, but there’s an edge there—something between defensiveness and curiosity.

Kenan tilts his head, studying you with a gaze that feels heavy and knowing. “You don’t look lost, just… searching.”

The words hit you harder than they should. You weren’t expecting this, the sharpness of his insight, the way he seems to see right through you. It’s unsettling, this stranger who talks like he’s known you for longer than a few minutes and a few stolen glances, and yet there’s a pull there, an undeniable magnetism that keeps you rooted in place.

“you’ve got me all figured out huh?” your voice is lilting, amusement covering your tone but there's an edge of vulnerability underneath.

Kenan doesn’t answer, and there’s a stretch of silence that embraces the both of you, despite the loud music, it feels muted in each other's presence. Kenan stares at you, and you struggle to identify what he’s thinking.

It makes you feel on edge, the fact that he seems to have you all figured out yet you struggle to decipher the slightest gestures from him.

You’re almost lost in your own train of thought when his voice interrupts, “Not yet.” he says finally. Once again, you can’t tell what he’s truly hinting, a promise or a threat?

“She left?” you ask, before you can help yourself. The question has been at the back of your throat since the moment Kenan joined you. You try to keep your voice casual, like you hadn’t noticed at all.

Kenan shrugs, a slow, deliberate movement. “She’s not staying the night,” he says, his voice low and smooth, tinged with a hint of something you can’t quite place. “Not that kind of thing.”

You don’t know what to say to that, so you just nod, staring out at the city below, at the endless sprawl of lights that seem to go on forever. The Weeknd’s song comes on again , the lyrics floating through the air like a whisper, “We don’t gotta be in love no, I don’t gotta be the one, no, I just wanna be one of your girls tonight.”

“Do you ever get tired of it?” you ask suddenly, the question slipping out before you can stop it for the second time tonight. Kenan turns to look at you, his expression unreadable, and you feel the weight of his gaze settle on you like a challenge.

“Tired of what?” he asks, though you suspect he already knows the answer.

You gesture vaguely toward the rooftop, the party, the endless cycle of nights spent drifting through half-lit rooms and fleeting moments. “All of this. The pretending. The never really being… anything.”

For a second, you think he’s going to brush you off, make some clever remark that’ll deflect the question, but instead, he just sighs, a quiet, weary sound that you weren’t expecting. “I don’t know,” he says finally, and there’s a heaviness in his voice that catches you off guard. “It’s easier, sometimes, to just keep things simple. No expectations. No strings.”

For the first time, you feel as if you’re finally beginning to understand him, not just playing a game of guess, but rather truly knowing. You feel a pang of recognition, because you understand that logic all too well—the way it’s easier to stay on the surface, to keep things light and meaningless, rather than risk the messiness of something real. But tonight, with the city spread out below you and the song still echoing in your ears, it all feels emptier than usual.

“You’re not really like that, though, are you?” you say, quieter this time, your words barely audible over the music. “You like to pretend you are, but… you want more.”

It’s clear you’ve hit the mark, Kenan’s gaze sharpens, his eyes searching yours like he’s trying to decide whether or not to let you in. You can see the conflict there, the war between what’s easy and what’s real, and for a moment, you think he might turn away, might let the moment pass like all the others. But then he leans in, closer than before, so close that you can see the faint lines of tiredness around his green eyes, the shadows of everything he’s not saying.

There’s a weight to his stare that makes your skin prickle, and you feel exposed, like he’s peeling back all the layers you’ve carefully built around yourself, leaving you bare in front of him.

“You think you know me?” he finally says, his voice low, almost mocking. There’s a challenge in his tone, and it sends a shiver through you, a reminder of why you’re drawn to him in the first place. He’s dangerous in a way that doesn’t involve risks to your body but to your soul. The kind of danger that pulls you in and makes you want to give everything, even when you know you shouldn’t.

“I think we’re both more alike than you let on,” you say instead, and it’s more honest than you intended, the words slipping out like a confession. He doesn’t react right away, just keeps watching you, his expression shifting in that subtle, unreadable way that makes you feel like you’re on the edge of something you can’t control.

He steps closer, invading your space, and you can feel the heat of him, the pull of his presence like a gravitational force that draws you in whether you want it or not. “That’s why you’re here, isn’t it?” he murmurs, and there’s something almost predatory in his tone, like he’s got you exactly where he wants you. “You like it. You like what I make you feel.”

You want to deny it, to pull back and put some distance between you, but you can’t. Because he’s right. You do like it. You like the way he makes you forget, the way he makes everything feel sharper, more vivid, like you’re finally alive in a world that’s constantly trying to dull you down. He has this way of stripping away the parts of you that don’t matter, leaving only the raw, unfiltered core of who you are—a side of yourself you’ve buried deep and only let out in the dark, away from everyone’s eyes.

The words hit you harder than you expected, because he’s right—he knows exactly what to say to unravel you. You’re not used to feeling this exposed, this seen, and it’s terrifying and thrilling all at once. With him, every moment feels heightened, like he’s pulled you out of the gray haze of your everyday life and into something sharper, more real. It’s dangerous, the way he makes you feel like you could trade everything for these fleeting moments, where nothing else exists but this connection, raw and unfiltered.

“You don’t know what I want,” you say, but your voice wavers, betraying the defiance you’re trying to hold onto. He smirks, not cruelly, but like he’s already won. And maybe he has, because standing here, inches away from him, you feel like you’d give up anything just to keep feeling this way—this alive.

He brushes his fingers along your jaw, a light touch that makes your breath hitch, and you can’t help but lean into it, craving the contact. “I don’t need to know everything,” he murmurs, his thumb tracing the curve of your cheek. He says that, but it feels like he is aware of every thought that has crossed your mind.

It scares you just as much as it excites you, and your eyes flicker from his eyes to his lips, but there’s a hesitancy that clings on to you, your fear more prominent than your desire.

He knows the parts of you that you keep locked away, the side that craves this—the thrill, the rush, the way he makes you forget everything else. It’s like he’s unlocked something in you, something you didn’t even know you were missing until now. With him, you don’t have to be strong, don’t have to be perfect or put together. You can just be. And it’s that feeling that scares you the most, because you know it won’t last, but you’re willing to risk it anyway.

Kenan watches you, his eyes flickering with something unreadable. “You don’t have to pretend with me,” he says, and it’s not gentle, it’s a little bit broken, a little bit like he’s speaking to himself as much as to you. There’s a crack in his composure, and it’s enough to remind you that underneath all his sharp edges, he’s just as lost as you are.

“You don’t have to either” You whisper at him, and you’re so much closer now, you can see the moles that dot his face, count every eyelash, and most importantly, you’re given access to the intensity behind his eyes, the same burning sensation in you is lit alight in his gaze.

You can feel his breath against your skin, hear the faint hitch of his breathing “You’re trouble,” he says finally, his voice quiet and rough, like he’s admitting it to himself as much as to you.

He’s close enough now that you can feel the heat of him, and it’s like every nerve in your body is on fire, every part of you screaming to pull him closer even though you know you shouldn’t.

The kiss is inevitable. It’s slow at first, hesitant, like he’s holding back, but it doesn’t last. The restraint melts away in an instant, and then it’s all heat and urgency, a clash of mouths and desperate hands as you pull each other closer, seeking something neither of you can name. His fingers tangle in your hair, his lips trailing down your neck, and you arch into him, losing yourself in the sensation, in the way he makes you feel like you’re the only thing that matters.

There’s a kind of desperation in the way you move together, a frantic need to forget everything but this moment. Clothes fall away, discarded carelessly, and you find yourself pressed against the cold glass of the window, opposite the railing of the roof, the city sprawling out on the other side of you like a sea of lights. It feels reckless, dangerous, but that only makes you want him more, makes you crave the feeling of losing control.

“You’re trouble too” You whisper when you’re both a mess of tangled lips, foreheads pressed together and breathing heavily.

Your words are tinged with something sad, and Kenan must recognise it, because he presses a soft kiss to your forehead that feels so different from the facade you’re so used to seeing him put up. His one action speaks a thousand words.

It’s enough to make you understand and for now, that’s all you need.

fin.

[whiteferraristurns]

𝕨𝕒𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤 ⚠︎︎ Vampire!reader x human!Chris, mentions of blood, no use of y/n.

(use of my name because I don’t like using y/n or y/nn. Just imagine your name!)

Bri 🎃 ༯ I see so many vampire!chris/matt and not many where it’s the reader so I thought why not.. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS ONE.

reblogs, likes and comments are so so appreciated!! Please don't copy or re use any of my work. 🍂

The night air was cool and crisp, the breeze whispering through the streets as Chris walked through the dark alleyways of the city. The dim glow of the streetlights cast long shadows over the cracked pavement, making everything feel just a little more sinister. He adjusted his jacket, hands stuffed into his pockets as he made his way to the bar. It wasn’t his usual scene, but his friends had told him about this place – something about a Halloween party that would be different from the typical rowdy college parties he was used to.

Chris pushed open the heavy door, and the atmosphere shifted immediately. The bass thumped low and steady, matching the pulse in his veins. The song playing through the speakers—Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang by Sohodolls—set an intoxicating, edgy tone for the night. The room was dimly lit, with blood-red lights casting a seductive hue over everything. People moved in slow, rhythmic waves, their bodies pressed close as they danced or whispered in dark corners. A few people were in costume, but it was the kind of place where no one cared if you fit in. He grabbed a drink at the bar, leaning back against the counter as he scanned the room. His friends hadn’t arrived yet, so he was on his own for the time being. Chris was never one to feel out of place, but tonight… something was different. The air felt charged, like static before a storm. He couldn’t shake the feeling that something was watching him.

And then he saw you.

You stood near the back of the room, bathed in shadows, your eyes glimmering under the low lights. There was something about you—dangerous, alluring, like a siren calling him toward you without saying a word. You weren’t dressed in any obvious costume, but the black lace dress clung to you like a second skin, and your deep red lipstick contrasted sharply against your skin. Your hair cascaded over your shoulders, framing your face in a way that made you look almost unreal.

Chris couldn’t take his eyes off you. He had seen you around before—at parties, maybe, or in passing on campus. You had exchanged glances but never really spoken. But tonight, there was something magnetic about you. The way you moved, the way you carried yourself—it was as if you knew things he didn’t. Things he wanted to know.

Without even thinking, he crossed the room, the crowd parting around him as if they could sense where he was going. Your eyes flicked up to meet his, a small smirk playing at the corners of your lips as he approached.

“Chris, right?” You said, your voice smooth, almost melodic. “Yeah,” he replied, a little surprised you knew his name. “And you’re… Brianna.” “Good memory,” you said, taking a sip from your glass, your eyes never leaving his.

He felt the tension between you two immediately. It wasn’t the kind of nervous energy he was used to with other girls. This was something darker, more intense, like there was an unspoken game being played and he didn’t know the rules. Yet, he was drawn in, helpless to resist.

“You don’t strike me as the type to be into parties like this,” he said, trying to keep his voice steady.

You raised an eyebrow, your smirk deepening. “And what type do I seem like, Chris?”

He hesitated, not sure how to answer that without sounding ridiculous. “Someone… different.”

You let out a low laugh, a sound that sent a shiver down his spine. “Different. I like that.”

There was a long pause, the music still pulsing around you, drowning out the rest of the world. Chris didn’t know what it was, but he couldn’t stop staring at you—at the way your eyes seemed to almost glow in the dim light, at the sharp lines of your collarbone, at the way your lips curled into that knowing smile.

“Want to get out of here?” You asked suddenly, breaking the silence. Chris blinked, momentarily caught off guard. “Yeah. Sure.”

You left the bar together, the cool night air hitting him as you stepped outside. Chris felt a little lightheaded, like the night was spinning out of control, but he didn’t care. You were walking beside him, and that was all that mattered.

You both didn’t say much as you wandered through the darkened streets, but the silence wasn’t uncomfortable. It felt charged, like something was about to happen. And Chris had a feeling that whatever it was, he wasn’t going to forget it anytime soon.

Eventually, you ended up in an abandoned courtyard, the moonlight casting eerie shadows over the stone walls. You stopped in the center of the space, turning to face him, your eyes locking onto his with an intensity that made his heart race.

“Do you ever feel like there’s more to this world than what you see?” You asked, your voice soft, almost a whisper.

Chris frowned, confused by the sudden shift in conversation. “What do you mean?”

You stepped closer, and he could feel the coolness of your skin even from where he stood. “Like there’s something darker, something hidden, just beneath the surface. Something… dangerous.”

His breath hitched as you came even closer, your face inches from his. Your eyes gleamed in the moonlight, and for the first time, Chris noticed how unnaturally bright they were. Almost… inhuman.

“Brianna—” he started, but you cut him off.

“You’ve felt it, haven’t you? That pull. That craving for something more.” Your voice was low, seductive, and Chris felt his head swimming, like he was falling under a spell.

Before he could respond, you moved—faster than he could comprehend—and in an instant, you was behind him, your breath cold against his neck.

Chris froze, his heart pounding in his chest as your fingers brushed against his throat, your nails sharp against his skin. “W-what are you doing?” He voice shook

You didn’t answer, but he could feel your lips ghosting over his pulse, your breath sending chills down his spine. And then—he felt it. The sharp, unmistakable sting of fangs sinking into his skin.

His mind went blank, his body tensing as a flood of sensations overwhelmed him—pain, pleasure, fear. He could hear the song from earlier still playing in his head, the rhythm pounding in time with his heartbeat: Bang, bang, bang, bang.

You were drinking from him.

Chris wanted to pull away, to fight, but his body wouldn’t listen. Instead, he stood there, helpless, as you fed on him, your grip on him tightening. The world around him faded, and all that remained was you— your cold lips, your sharp teeth, the intoxicating feeling of you taking what you wanted.

Finally, you pulled back, your lips stained with his blood, your eyes glowing brighter now. You looked at him, your expression unreadable, as if waiting for him to say something.

But Chris couldn’t speak. He couldn’t think. All he could do was stare at you, the realization hitting him like a freight train.

Chris stood there, breathing hard, the world spinning around him. His hand instinctively went to his neck, touching the warm spot where your fangs had pierced his skin. His fingertips came away wet with blood. He stared at them, trying to make sense of what had just happened.

“I apologize for the mess.” You walked back up to him. You connected your lips back onto his neck licking up the left over blood.

You watched him as you pulled away. The blood on your lips gave you a almost otherworldly appearance—like a creature born from nightmares. And yet, Chris couldn’t bring himself to fear you. If anything, the fear that had briefly flared in his chest had been replaced by something more intense. Something darker.

Desire.

“What… what are you?” he finally managed to choke out, his voice hoarse.

You tilted your head, your lips curling into a small smile, but there was no humor in it. “I think you know.”

A vampire. The thought slammed into him like a punch to the gut. It was insane, impossible. But the evidence was right in front of him. Your eyes, your cold touch, the fangs, the way you moved so fast… There was no denying it.

“I didn’t want you to find out like this,” you said softly, stepping toward him again. “But you’ve felt it, haven’t you? That pull toward me, the way you couldn’t resist following me tonight.”

Chris’s throat was dry, his mind racing. Now that you mentioned it, he had felt something off about you, something magnetic. And not just tonight—every time he had seen you before, too. There had always been this pull, like you were drawing him in without saying a word.

You stopped in front of him, close enough that he could feel the coolness radiating off your skin. You raised a hand and lightly traced your fingers along the edge of his jaw, making him shiver despite himself.

“I can feel your heartbeat,” you murmured, your voice soft and dangerous, “so fast… like you’re afraid. But you’re not running.”

Chris swallowed hard, still trying to process everything. He should be running, should be terrified. But there was something about you, something about the way you looked at him, touched him… It was as if he was under your spell. Even now, with the knowledge of what you were, he couldn’t tear himself away.

“What do you want from me?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. You smile, a glint of amusement in you eyes. “Right now? I just wanted a taste.”You brought your finger up to your lips wiping the dripping blood off it, licking it off your own finger.

Chris’s pulse quickened at your actions, and he saw your eyes flicker, darkening for a brief moment before you seemed to collect yourself. You let out a small, almost regretful sigh, stepping back slightly.

“I don’t usually feed like that,” you said, your voice softer now, almost apologetic. “I have more control than that, but… there’s something about you, Chris.”

He frowned, trying to ignore the dull throb in his neck where you’d bitten him. “Something about me?”

You nodded, your gaze sweeping over him as if you were trying to figure out exactly what that something was. “I don’t know what it is yet, but you’re different. I can feel it.”

Chris had no idea what you meant by that, but the intensity in your voice sent another shiver through him. The way

you were looking at him made him feel like he was the only thing in the world that mattered to you right now, and that was both exhilarating and terrifying.

He took a shaky breath, trying to steady himself. “So, what now? You’ve bitten me, you’ve… drank my blood. Am I—am I going to turn into a vampire?”

You chuckled, shaking your head. “No, it doesn’t work like that. You don’t just ‘turn’ from a bite. It’s… more complicated than that.”

He didn’t know whether to feel relieved or disappointed. The thought of becoming like you was both horrifying and strangely enticing. “Then why me? Why tonight?”

Your gaze softened, and for the first time, there was something vulnerable in your expression. “I’ve been watching you for a while, Chris. I’ve tried to stay away, but tonight… I couldn’t help myself. You’ve always seemed different, and I wanted to know why.”

Chris’s heart skipped a beat. You’d been watching him? The idea sent a strange thrill through him, but also a sense of unease. He didn’t know how to feel about being the object of a vampire’s interest.

“So, what now?” he asked again, his voice more steady this time.

You took another step back, your eyes darkening once more. “Now, you decide.”

“Decide what?”

You looked at him, your gaze intense, almost pleading. “Whether you want to walk away from this and pretend it never happened, or… if you want to know more.”

Chris’s mind raced. Walk away? Pretend like this was just some bizarre fever dream? The rational part of him screamed that he should run, should get as far away from her as possible. But the other part of him—the part that had always craved excitement, danger, the unknown—was telling him something else.

He looked at you, at the way your eyes still glowed faintly in the darkness, at the way your lips were slightly parted, revealing just the hint of her fangs. You were dangerous. There was no denying that. But there was also something about you that made him feel alive in a way he hadn’t before.

He stepped closer to you, his heart pounding in his chest. “I want to know more.”

Your eyes widened slightly, as if you hadn’t expected him to say that. But then, your lips curved into a slow, satisfied smile, and Chris felt a surge of adrenaline rush through him.

“You’re sure?” You asked, your voice low and dangerous, like a challenge.

Chris nodded, his pulse racing, his blood still thrumming in his veins from where you’d bitten him. “I’m sure.”

Your smile grew, and this time, there was nothing apologetic about it. You reached out, taking his hand in hers, your grip cool but firm.

“Then hold on tight, Chris,” you whispered, pulling him close. “Because you’re about to enter a world you’ve never imagined.”

And with that, they disappeared into the shadows, leaving the world Chris knew far behind.

Bri 🎃 ༯ thoughtsss????

T͙A͙G͙L͙I͙S͙T͙ ᡣ𐭩 @sturniqloo @il0vecatzzz @iillovechris @chrislilcumslvt @mattsnumberoneslut

(credit to @riottsrph for the divider!! Thank you lovely!🎃🧡)

[big-cheesy-productions]

SXSG - RADICAL HIGHWAY Analysis

Okay, I absolutely love all of the "Black Doom just really likes Radical Highway" jokes, because same, bud.

But, like, I'm actually obsessed with the symbolism of it and its inclusion.

It makes sense for the game to keep coming back to this level for a number of reasons. It was Shadow the Hedgehog's first level in his first game. Of course it would be a central callback in the game, just like Green Hill Zone appears again and again for Sonic, and celebration of his first appearance. This is the nostalgia and callback game after all (and it does it so well). But the way Radical Highway is included and used in SXSG is actually so brilliant.

Okay, bear with me while I talk about Radical Highway as a level and its symbolism originally in Sonic Adventure 2 (My favorite game ever of all time) to set the scene.

Radical Highway is the second Dark level in the game, and the first Shadow level, and the way this level perfect sets up Shadow as a character and how he compares to Sonic is *chef's kiss*.

Sonic's first level is the famous City Escape. City Escape takes place on the San Francisco-inspired streets of Central City. Sonic is on the streets, running past houses and cars, through parks and neighborhoods. It feels grounded (literally and figuratively). Sonic is among the people. There's a small G.U.N. presence, as they are trying to capture Sonic, but it's a pretty peaceful, sunny day otherwise. Perfect introduction for our boy, Sonic.

In stark contrast, Radical Highway is the complete opposite of City Escape in every way. While City Escape was on the streets of Central City, Radical Highway is above it. There's no cute townhouses, no cars going about their day. It's on high, Golden Gate Bridge-inspired streets, in the dead of night. While City Escape had a small G.U.N. presence, Radical Highway has fighter jets dropping bombs on you as you sprint through the streets and there are G.U.N. robots EVERYWHERE. Even the music is the opposite of City Escape, which is upbeat and campy, with famous lyrics we all know and love. Radical Highway’s music is purely instrumental and has a darker tone, and a more serious hint of urgency (while still being a banger of course). 

While City Escape serves to set up our beloved blue leading man as the carefree speedster who goes where the impulse takes him, Radical Highway sets up everything for Shadow. Assuming you play the Hero Story first, you really don’t know much about Shadow, other than he serves as a rival for Sonic. He only has a few scenes where he crosses paths with Sonic, and in all put the last one, he is always positioned above Sonic, until their final confrontation where they are on even ground, literally and figuratively, because Shadow sees Sonic as an equal in the end, whereas before, he saw Sonic, and everyone else in the world, as beneath him. Hence, the brilliant symbolism of Radical Highway being above everything. He literally starts the level at the highest point on the bridge while looking down at the G.U.N. forces and calls them “pathetic.” (This is where that all began.)

He’s above it all, he’s disconnected, he believes himself superior, and in the cutscene before this level we learn about Maria, and her death, for the first time. We see a flashback to that canon event and when we come back to the present, Shadow promises her revenge, and we learn Shadow’s goals aren’t what they initially seemed when Eggman released him.

It is not until the Final Story that we learn what is going on: Shadow was not originally made as a weapon, but Professor Gerald modified him after the ARK incident and Maria’s death, including modifying his memories. The Shadow we see in Radical Highway is not really Shadow. It’s Gerald, in his insanity and grief, in his righteousness and fury. The promise for revenge is Gerald’s, not Shadow’s.

Later games have Shadow rebuild his memories and sense of self in the wake of all of the meddling from certain Robotniks. Shadow the Hedgehog ‘05 and Sonic ‘06 leave us with a Shadow who is still devastated by his losses, but his mind and convictions are his own, and a Shadow who remembers Maria’s true, unadulterated wish (2010s Sonic games go on to forget all of this, but we’re not talking about that right now). He might not know exactly where his place in the world is, but he knows who he is and what he fights for.

Okay, now where am I going with all of this with SXSG? Why does Black Doom keep bringing Shadow back to Radical Highway, from a storytelling perspective?

Black Doom is manipulative. It’s his whole schtick. Shadow ‘05 constantly has Black Doom trying to use the ARK incident to bring Shadow over to his side and serve him. He is trying to use Shadow’s traumatic memories to get Shadow to remember his hatred for humanity, but good/True Story playthrough Shadow recovers his true memories and remains true to his convictions (God, that game would be so good if it was good). Black Doom’s manipulation doesn’t work and Shadow defeats him. 

Now, in SXSG, Black Doom is back. He knows he can’t use the same tactics as last time. Shadow has his memories. There is nothing that could convince Shadow to willingly join Black Doom. Shadow never flinched when Mephiles was trying to manipulate him in Sonic ‘06. So what does Black Doom do? Memory manipulation is still his thing, so he decides to drag Shadow to Radical Highway, to this moment in time instead, because this moment represents everything that went wrong.

In this moment in time, Maria is dead, Gerald is dead, Shadow’s mind is not his own, he has initiated Gerald’s plan to destroy the world, and the promise he made to Maria is corrupted. And now Black Doom is here too, further warping this memory. There’s definitely a theme of autonomy in many of Shadow’s stories: He was made as a cure for Maria, Gerald modified his mind, Eggman did too, and Black Doom tries to enforce a claim on him. 

Black Doom is trying to psych Shadow out, because he knows he can’t claim him through pure force. There’s definitely a theme of autonomy in many of Shadow’s stories: He was made as a cure for Maria, Gerald modified his mind, Eggman did too, and Black Doom tries to enforce a claim on him. And he’s using this memory of Radical Highway to push this, to drag him back to his past he’s trying to move on from, to say “you are just a weapon. You are just a tool, to be used and modified. You were never anything more.”

But then, Maria and Gerald are there, saying “you are so much more.” Gerald is there calling him “son,” saying he’s proud of him, and asking him to live for himself. Maria is there saying “you are more than your anger, more than your past, more than what you’re made of.”

And all of this is represented by Radical Highway.

I fucking love Radical Highway.

[cometrose]

hi. i’d like to hear your take on how the other archons represent or have moon symbolism to zhongli’s sun, if you don’t mind!

in genshin there’s a lot of lore scattered around and pieces waiting to be clicked together, and your post really makes ideas go off haha

sure, im not as read up on the other archons as I am with zhongli but there is still a lot to work with

Venti

In his trailers and cutscenes (e.i Xiao) we often see Venti with the moon

You can also look into his style of archonhood and how he does not directly guide his people but rather lets them do as they want and times guides them from behind the scenes

He is not overt and direct like the sun but more subtle like the moon

This is going to be true for most of the archons but there is the fact that Venti's image is based off someone else. Venti looks like the nameless bard but that is not his true form.

Venti is a reflection of someone else, much like moon reflects the sun's light

Mondstadt literally means moon city

To others he can be very bubbly and outgoing but when he is around the traveler his calm more reserved sides come out.

Venti has connections to the god of time, Istaroth, and time one key themes of moon symbolism as the cycles and phases of the moon have been used to track time, seasons and life itself. (Did you know the phases in the spiral abyss are based off the 3 moon sisters which is why there are 3 versions of a spiral abyss before it resets?)

Ei

First look at her design and her wish. She has a dark color palette, deep purples and reds and Inazuma, specifically Tenshukaku, in the background is covered in darkness

In her domain and her trailer it is rainy, dark and thunderous

Ei's constellation, Imperatrix Umbrosa, translates to Empress of Shadows

She was literally Makoto's shadow (kagemusha)

To go further, Ei lived in the shadows of Makoto's light. The story tells us that Makoto was better at guiding humanity and understood humans much better. Makoto was the archon, Makoto was the one who was adored. Ei was the moon to Makoto's sun.

However, you could even say since Makoto and Ei are twins rather than sun and moon symbolism you could attribute Makoto and Ei to the light and dark side of the moon. Because of the way the moon rotates, from earth we only see one side of the moon at all times. Hence, Makoto was the light side of the moon that was leading Inazuma while Ei was the darker side that was never seen.

Then Ei hiding away in the plane of Euthymia for hundreds of years while her puppet ruled means that Ei once more lived in the shadow (or subconscious) of another being

Originally Raiden wished for an eternal and neverending Inazuma. She wanted nation that would not suffer from the change of time. However change, and new beginnings are signaled by the onset of dawn. Each new day begins with the sun rising so by yearning for an "Eternal Inazuma" it was a nation that never saw a new day or was always stuck in night.

Even though the war is over and she can freely mingle with her people Ei is rather reserved and prefers to keep to herself

Nahida

Nahida has very direct moon symbolism.

Nahida directly refers to herself as the moon in Act II of the Sumeru Archon Quest and throughout the entire questline as a whole.

Similar to all of the other archons, Nahida is trapped in the shadows of Rukkhadevata.

Nobody cared for Nahida because Rukkha's glory and wisdom outshone her in every way (plus she was locked up in jail) even Nahida herself believed Rukkha was more shining and brilliant than her.

She even says in Act II after learning the sages have been acting behind her back that "In the end, I'm just the Moon. The real Sun is long gone."

Nahida's abilities and symbols are dreams, sleep and illusions. All of which are all connected to the moon and the night.

Nahida's character design. She is very white, and pale like the face of the moon. She looks like just a younger version of Rukkhadevata.

Although, Nahida comes to understand that she does not have to be like Rukkha or any other archon to be a good archon-she still has a long way to go. She is still a "small light" in Sumeru and it will take some time before she can shine as brightly as Rukkhadevata once did

Her wish looks like a big old moon doesn't it?

Furina

Furina much like the others lives in the shadow of not only Focalors but indirectly Egeria

She is constantly trying to live up the glory of her predecessor (Egeria) but also the other archons.

Furina was forced to be in the spotlight. She shines brightly and strongly but that is not her own light. She is using the title as god and archon to be something she is not. In a sense, giving off light that isn't hers but merely reflecting the light of Focalors.

Just in basic symbolism, oceans, waves and tides are all usually connected to the moon, so the god of water is going to be connected to the moon.

Furina's "true" form her Ousia form which is dark and black in color while her "fake" form her Pneuma form is white and bright.

Furina had no real power and to save Fontaine true divinity and power had to come from the original source (Focalors and ultimately Neuvillette)

Her true self lived in the shadows of the "Hydro Archon". Her true identity was a mystery until the trial.

When Furina leaves the spotlight and the curtains close and the lights dim was she finally able to be herself.

For example even when Arlecchino ambushes Furina it occurs in the dead of night when she assumes nobody is watching her anymore and she's allowed to be free for just a moment.

Furina's power and authority came from "others". She acted like an archon so we believed she was an archon. Much like how the moon "looks" like it produces light but really the light comes from the sun.

Furina is haughty and gaudy as an archon but as a human she far more relaxed and easy going. She doesn't have the striking confidence and dominance of the sun but a more gentle and refreshing aura to her.

Furina’s true light and beauty is when she can be herself or on the stage as a performer when she is no longer trying to be something she is not she because far more special.

A big part of why most of the archons have moon symbolism is simply because they are 1) not the original archon or 2) derive a significant portion of their life, legacy and or goals from someone else. In their lives there was a person who was the center of their life -their "sun". Whether or not the knew the person depends but these archons either embodied or idolized their ideals and appearance. As in they derived their light from someone else. Zhongli avoids this cause he doesn’t have a “twin” and he’s an original archon.

Character development and story progression have changed these characters appear and their respective symbols but I think you can safely argue that most of the archons have more ties to the moon than the sun.

The only exception I really see is Zhongli (you could argue Venti too sometimes) and the Pyro Archon due to the connections between flames and the sun.

But the Tsaritsa, on the other hand is very likely to have lots of moon symbolism. The only time we see her palace is in the dark of night, she's always commanding the Fatui to carry out her plans in secret, cryo -> ice -> winter -> dark -> night -> moon, plus the moon is tied to themes of romance and love she is the goddess of love etc. We can do this all day.

Nonetheless, moon symbolism connects to a multitude of themes such as femininity, shadows, time, darkness, eternity and renewal, love and mystery, divinity and gentleness etc. Many of these concepts appear in our archons and their storylines.

So of the archons we know Zhongli is the most sun-orientated (masculinity, power, strength, passion, clarity and knowledge, life etc) so far. It’s not like sun and moon traits don’t overlap so you’ll definitely see these characters embody different ideals but in my mind most of the archons represent the moon.

[articskele]

Dude I think your oc is giving me brainrot because I had a dream where Artic was in a cave and the Once-ler was all curled up looking sad and scared so Artic went up to him and cuddled him. (The reason why he was scared was because he was cursed to turn into a shadow creature. So as he was transforming Artic was just holding him. Also Artic sounded british?? I have no idea what your HC voice for her is but she sounded like Rose Tyler from Doctor who in my dream.)

OUGHGHGHHH I'm having so many thoughts about this-

Right off the bat the concept of a cursed shadowy Onceler reminds me of these posts!!

And caves!! In the valley!! I had already been thinking about em bc of the concept art, something about the valley at night just says "there's a cave behind that waterfall" to me lol

The Onceler running away, maybe because he didn't want Artic to get hurt, maybe because he feared what would happen if she saw him like this.

Maybe, just for a moment, he flinches as Artic reaches for him. Because no matter how badly he wants comfort, he can't help but worry if this curse is contagious or if he'll grow spikes or something.

But once she holds his face in her hands and pulls him in for a hug, the poor man just clings to her the entire time. The steady sound of her heartbeat giving him something to focus on…

There’s this scene of her just. Holding the Onceler so so gently asking if it hurts and it breaks my HEART. THEY'RE SO IN LOVE YOUR HONOR

Artic getting up to take off her wings and set them aside, and he panics a little like "Don't- Don't go" but she reassures him that she's not going anywhere.

I still love you, yknow. No matter what happens, no matter how you look by the end of this... You're still the boy I fell in love with.

RAAAAAAAUGH

I can only imagine what the transformation must feel like. The crickle crackle of bones beneath dark fur. The inexplicable feeling of light fading inside him. Forever standing in the shade, just cold enough to prickle at your skin. Left cold and hollow save for bright yellow eyes, longing for the sunlight.

Maybe his freckles turned white or glow in the dark, something something not all the light is gone, not all hope is lost because someone was there for him.

Maybe he can't be in the sunlight for very long, which is devastating for the guy, but Artic makes a little umbrella contraption for him ouo

And that could be one of the reasons he went to a cave! The light was giving him a really bad headache and he needed to get somewhere darker

And she makes him specialized gloves to help him play the guitar with those hand paws!

Also Artic nuzzling his chest bc he's soft and fuzzy -u-

Woe, british Artic be upon ye aksfjdf- I looked up some clips of that gal and she sounds nice! Canonically Artic just has my irl voice ouo

[ubercharge]

im not sure if anyone asked you yet, but thoughts on the dunmeshi anime?

thanks for asking! sometimes i forget i exist here as a person cuz i just log on to queue random stuff without making posts 💀

it's pretty rare for me to watch an anime without ever reading the manga, and there've been stellar adaptations recently. ONK, kisekoi, BTR, frieren, CSM just to name a few. in a landscape where we're used to being disappointed as readers who have a frame of reference before watching a show, i had very, very high hopes for the dunmeshi adaptations that weren't quite fulfilled.

i'll dump everything under a cut since i actually have a lot to say, sorry if you were expecting it to be brief 😎

the lines in the artistic style are good, nicely translating the characters into animated format. really no notes there. definitely a nicer comparison for char designs between manga and anime vs. tonsuki and tensura who both have incredible manga styles that the anime stumble over (though in the latter's case, i don't think they were aiming for it sadly)

the shading has been fine, but weakened by the colour choices. some of the dungeon scenes (e.g., living armour stuff) are lit with a medium blue which helps to sell the idea of the scene being in a place not lit by fire (and contrasts it with the making camp & cooking scenes), but the lack of dark shading flattens some of these very well-drawn images.

the earlier chapters don't have the same level of detail as newer ones, but the art style is still fantastic - it's expressive with high contrast and shows action and impact perfectly well. manga will often times have a naturally easier way with contrast due to it being in black & white, but i don't think that means anime should just give up on contrast in favour of playing ineffectively with colour.

here's a night shot of fern from frieren. the choices made here allow for the shading to stand out from the flats and give her more definition overall while still being relatively simple (just flats + shading)

when dunmeshi has more "normal" lighting conditions, it does a lot better. similar to fern up there, there's about the same amount of difference between the flats and shadows, so i really wish they did a better job on the dungeon scenes since they're going to have to deal with non-torchlit scenes plenty. i won't argue that the living armor scene certainly has some kind of a sickly, alien mood to it, but tl;dr i think it should've had darker shading if not also being less green. this largely applies to every other blue-green lit scene they've done.

looking at kui's coloured drawings in the ed gives me an idea of what could've been and it makes me sad to lose out on colour choices more similar to that (even if they obviously can't have her level of detail on top of it)

some of the backgrounds haven't been too interesting but some have been good, overall it's probably fine. plus you can only draw and detail repeating bricks so many times before the viewer gets bored of looking at them anyway, i guess.

the animation is really fun and expressive. it's trigger, so they don't keep scenes stiffly on-model when they want characters moving around. this is good because it helps to sell both action and comedy moments!

the music overall i haven't really cared for? the BGM has not been particularly moving, interesting, or memorable - mostly generic. and i've seen too many fantasy shows for my own good, so i might be harder to impress (but i even remember tenken had a good BGM song or two to make a fight dramatic and that show was barely above average at best)

i'm biased not being particularly into bump, so i would've selected a different artist for the OP (i actually did like the bump OP from SxF though, come to think of it). before anyone makes a wisecrack based on what i've watched lately, no it doesn't have to be yoasobi.

i maybe feel the ED song would've been better for the OP, i don't like the largely peaceful bit of the OP with very still visuals. the OP is where you reel people in! it should be an eye-catching hook, representative of what to expect with some extra sauce on top.

the ED is great, total bop. it's a fine time for slower visuals as an enjoyable wind-down from the episode, so less or no animation is no big deal. plus kui's art is absolutely gorgeous! it all perfectly fits that "end of work" fun and lighthearted mood they were going for.

i largely enjoy the voice acting. i would've personally gone for a less "old man" voice on senshi because he's really not that old for a dwarf, but they obviously wanted to make it clear he was the older, wiser, knowledgeable character.

this might be my own personally most blasphemous opinion, but i would've picked a different VA for falin. i want to make it clear i absolutely adore saori hayami - she's incredible and one of my faves. with that said, her voice fits the character, so maybe it's just because i've heard her too often which is not her fault by any means! i love the voices for laios, marcille, and chil.

it seems netflix's subs go off of the official EN TL of the manga, which makes sense, but i've talked about how i don't like it more than ehscans' TL (which is one of the single best TLs i've read for a series, official or otherwise) and that holds true for the anime ("mad sorcerer" is cooler AND less clunky than "lunatic magician"). i prefer less localisation stuff and/or quirkiness in my subs and more direct translation for both manga and anime.

as for the changes/additions they've made to the show, some of them have been alright and some i didn't care for. they really want to sell marcille as the funny joke character which is why they had her being chased by the basilisk instead of having doni & fionil like it was in the manga which was better for the pacing and had good impact vs a funny clip of marcille running back and forth.

i don't dislike when adaptations add or change stuff, but placing them cleanly is important. dunmeshi is already really funny! i don't think it needs help being funnier by reaching for the cheap laugh. when laios sees two people running for their lives from a basilisk and he just goes "wow that's a bad way to run from that monster", it's already lowkey hilarious - all the more so followed by marcille telling mr. monster-know-it-all to go rescue them if he knows what's up and him rescuing them by making himself big and chicken squawking real loud (which embarrasses marcille and chil, but c'mon guys, at least his idea worked!). i feel like the comedy in laios' funny hero moment is undercut by forcing the marcille butt of the joke moment in the anime.

dunmeshi is already incredibly good at just about everything it does. i feel if an adaptation wants to add or change something, it's often better amplifying a strength or shoring up a weakness in the source material. BTR adds a lot to the source (not hard considering the source is a 4koma) and makes already funny things even funnier. the "we should all get social media" scene is elevated to iconic status with the visual of bocchi glitching out + the VA's inhuman screech. i can't say where i'd really want to change or add stuff to dunmeshi, since it really feels so good and whole, but i'm sure there's room in the process of translating manga panels to animated scenes, and i think the direction overall could've been better (comparing most shows to BTR isn't fair i know because BTR is directed & adapted so well it's hydrogen bomb vs. coughing baby territory)

i've mostly said negative stuff, but i don't want it to sound like i hate or even really dislike the adaptation. i think when it comes to a series you really love, you want to see the best adaptation possible within reason, and the disappointment of stuff not being quite what you were hoping for is amplified by so many other recent adaptations being so good.

dunmeshi does not have a bad anime by any means, but a lot of that is thanks to the source material's quality. if they do another season, i hope they have more time/budget/whatever because i think a lot of the parts it does have are good parts! but in this case, i wasn't hoping for good; i was hoping for great.

trigger makes great shows with wacky storylines (in some ways, the same one wacky storyline, but that's a different discussion) and dunmeshi, being directed by someone who's worked on a bunch of trigger stuff (largely sci-fi leaning), maybe needed some more direction from people who've worked on fantasy stuff? i can't say for sure what would've been enough to take the show over the top, but though i generally don't hope for much from adaptations, i really did have higher hopes for this one than it ended up achieving.

overall it seems i'll end up scoring the show a 7 or 7.5 when i finish the season, though there's certainly still room to wow us all. whatever you feel about the adaptation, whether you liked it or not, whether or not you've read the manga, feel free to comment your thoughts below or in my inbox. let's keep it free of manga spoils for anime-only watchers, though!

[kiss-my-freckle]

Full Episode Commentary

1x1: Pilot

I love the shift from night to day as they introduce their three leads because I feel they're representations. Damon is night, Stefan is dawn, Elena is day. There is a such thing as too dark and too bright. Even though Stefan is represented by what the balance of darkness and light looks like, he's not a balanced character.

"For over a century, I have lived in secret. Hiding in the shadows, alone in the world. Until now. I am a vampire, and this is my story." Stefan's journal voiceover is a lie. He's been living on and off as a human, so he's been living in the world. Living on and off as a human, he's had enough time to form relationships. He doesn't live in the shadows and he's certainly not alone. He has Lexi and Zach and Damon. His lack of a relationship with Damon is by choice. A good thing they introduce Damon at this time because I feel Stefan's journal is true to Damon but not to him. Had they introduced Stefan first, I would've confronted the writers about it.

Damon kills a couple driving after a music concert, and these two kills are premeditated. He had a choice, and he chose to kill them. For those that don't know the difference between Katherine and Sage, trust this is Katherine's impact on Damon. A mention to his fog, but not the only comment that gets me. "We already have a James Blunt. One's all we need." There's more than one Salvatore and more than one doppelganger, so this is a nice line to introduce with lol. Damon has all of his humanity, just thought I'd be clear about that up front.

"I shouldn't have come home. I know the risk. But I had no choice. I have to know her." What I consider the most selfish thing in the entire series, and it's all Stefan. He claimed to have no choice, but he had every choice. Never mind what Elena wants or needs, it's all about him. The very reason I agree with Cade. In his desire to know her, Stefan would've had to see her prior to the pilot to know she exists. So either they met before, or he simply saw Elena and started stalking her.

Dear diary, today will be different. It has to be. I will smile, and it will be believable. My smile will say "I'm fine, thank you." "Yes, I feel much better." I will no longer be the sad little girl who lost her parents. I will start fresh, be someone new. It's the only way I'll make it through.

A lot of references to Elena being sad, thus, making it clear to me that Stefan is preying on an emotionally vulnerable girl that just lost both her parents. Elena's morning coffee is the first technical scene she has with Damon. The couple he just killed are displayed on the tv over her shoulder. Bonnie is the friend driving her to school, which makes it clear to me that they're closer than either one are with Caroline. Elena's mind is in the cemetery where her parents are buried. I can't even begin to describe what the death of a parent does, but I can guarantee she's darker because of it.

Damon slams his crow into Bonnie's windshield, all-knowing that she's the only one who survived the accident with her parents. I believe he wants her to stay home from school. "It's okay. I'm fine. Really, I can't be freaked out by cars for the rest of my life." Bonnie gives Elena a false prediction to bring up her mood. Elena waves to Matt as they reach their lockers. She broke up with him, claiming she needed time when it's over-over. Her comment to Caroline is every bit what she wrote about in her opening diary entry. She's lying to her and Caroline is accepting it as truth. Tyler and Jeremy insult each other, and while I feel it excusable for Jeremy because he just lost his parents, I consider Tyler an ass because he knows that Jeremy just lost his parents.

"It's a hot back." Good thing Stefan has a hot back. Elena will see a lot of it given how much he walks away. He compels the secretary to get him in classes just in time to stalk Elena. He doesn't just want to know her, he's entering her life in such a way that he'll become part of her entire high school experience. "I'm sensing Seattle, and he plays the guitar." Bonnie has it right. They show his guitar in 3x1. Elena is acting as parent to Jeremy, which is weird to me. Everyone mourns differently. That's really the only fault I have with Elena in this episode. Jeremy will mourn as he mourns. It's clear that Bonnie and Caroline are both attracted to Stefan. Why they never went there with Bonnie and Stefan is beyond me. Elena is attracted to a vampire that stalked her, forced himself into her life, and is now sitting in her classroom whilst pretending to be human. And Stefan thinks this is exactly what she needs.

She's off to the cemetery to visit her parents and write in her diary. This is how she chooses to mourn. I love the soundtrack as the lyrics make it clear that she's looking for a home. That's what "a place to rest my head" means. She has no home without her parents. Damon tries to scare her out of the cemetery with his crow, but it's not enough. He brings in the fog to add to it, then puts on a show with his crow. His actions in this episode make it clear to me that he doesn't want Stefan in her life. First with school. Now with the cemetery. The way he hides behind the angel statue… that's what living in the shadows looks like. "I'm visiting. I have family here." Stefan's family is Damon's family. I can pretty much guarantee that Damon was in the cemetery first, and I do believe he's at their mother's grave. Elena's comments to Stefan should be considered even into the second episode because Damon is honest with both Stefan and Elena. From the cemetery with Stefan to the party with Bonnie's bottle reading to the end scene between brothers, then into the second episode with Delena. I'll explain as I reach each scene.

To be clear, I view omissions as lies, so I'll be counting Stefan's lies as I go along. "Oh. Um, It's a family ring, yeah. I'm kinda stuck with it. It's weird, huh?" Stefan being human is his first lie. His daylight ring is his 2nd. Purposeful though. Stefan vamps out when he sees the blood dripping down her ankle and disappears. This is his 3rd lie. Despite the fact that he admits not being able to resist Elena in his next journal entry, he continues to be in her life. In continuing to be in her life, he's choosing to put her at risk with his ripper side. Caroline is stalking Stefan and already planning their June wedding. Talk about shallow. But I do find it hilarious that his favorite color is blue and Damon dances with her in 1x19. Zach being Stefan's uncle is his 4th and 5th lie as he repeats it. Why they moved around a lot being his 6th lie.

Elena dropped her diary when she ran through the cemetery. Rather than give it back to her at school, Stefan uses it to stalk her and try to get invited into her house. Blood making him squeamish, 7th lie. How he knew where she lived is his 8th lie. He's been stalking her, so of course he knows where she lives. "Yeah, if I don't write it down, I forget it. Memories are too important." Says the guy who begs Rebekah to compel him of his entire relationship with Elena in season 4. "Well, I wouldn't want anyone to read mine." The most honest thing he's said so far. I believe he's lying about reading her diary. I believe he did. I'll mention why when I get to it. If Stefan weren't hot, Elena would be reporting him to Liz by now, talking about how this kid is stalking her. Instead, she's welcoming him, and he actually tries to get into her house the first day they meet. Completely insane to me. His shift is his 9th lie. He doesn't want her questioning why he didn't come into her house. "Her mom and dad died. How do you think? She's putting on a good face, but it's only been four months." Bonnie truly sees Elena. She doesn't buy the lies like Caroline does. Elena in this episode reminds me of a quote from Hannibal. "False faces in family portraits. Layers and layers of lies, betrayed by a sad glint in the child’s eyes." Bonnie is also loyal as hell, lying to Matt on Elena's behalf in telling him to give it more time when she knows it's over between them. I mentioned this on a post regarding Elena's ship shift from Stefan to Damon. The only difference between her stringing Stefan along and her stringing Matt along... she does it as a single girl with Matt. So while Elena waits until 4x6 to end things with Stefan, I can guarantee she broke up with Matt as soon as she could, and used the excuse that she needed time to mourn her parents. I can actually feel Bonnie's 3x22 flashback phone call with Elena in this scene, so I can literally feel Delena in this scene as Stelena walks in. "My parents passed away." While pretending to be human, Stefan uses the death of his parents to connect with Elena. In her believing he's only 17 would also believe he lost his parents in the past 17 years, not 145 years ago. This is gross af to me. He makes it clear that he'll only go to the party if she's going. As Stefan changes his shirt, Zach brings in the newspaper of the dead couple.

Zach is only solidifying what Stefan said at the open of the episode. He knew the risks coming home, and he basically said screw it. "And you being here, it's just going to stir things up." Stefan being there is stirring up Damon because he wanted Elena to get everything she's looking for, and he sees that his ripper brother forced himself into her life. Katherine's photo in Stefan's journal represents the human side of her, that's why he kept it. "I look at you and I see an angel." He's replacing one angel for another. One false human for a real one. He's falling in love with human Katherine all over again, knowing that Elena will make him feel human. An extreme desire for the brother that lives one human life after another - to feel human while living it. Elena is his sense of belonging. "Where do I belong?" The chosen soundtrack only supports this fact. Making a deal with God to trade the demon for the angel. "Your face. It was like a demon." They show this photo of Katherine before cutting to Elena on her second day back to school.

Mr. Tanner is discussing The Battle of Willow Creek. This involves the... 27 vampires in the tomb under Fell's Church. He insults both Bonnie and Matt. It's not until he digs into Elena that Stefan speaks up. He already had the answer, but purposefully waited to give it. Nothing like Stefan hating his vampirism only to use it to impress Elena. Stefan would know nothing of those 27 lives if not for being there and being a vampire. He then insults Mr. Tanner in front of the entire class, which basically supports the disrespect of an authority figure, and completely embarrasses him in the process of it. That's something Stefan could've done without being such a dick about it. The scene was purely meant to impress Elena. That's why it was for Elena. Mr. Tanner can attack anyone but her. Just as insane to me that Stefan feels the need to pipe up as if Elena needs to be verbally defended. Stefan shouldn't know more than the teacher does, so yeah... his vampirism is showing. At the party, intrudes on Elena's conversation with Bonnie. Every reason why I believe he read her diary before he gave it to her. Again, hates his vampirism, but has no problem using it to his advantage. That's why I respect Matt's comment to Elena later in the series. He can't hate what they are and use them to his advantage, so he refuses the healing powers of vampire blood. Stefan is using his vampirism to eavesdrop. I love the soundtrack for their party scene. "That was weird. When I touched you, I saw a crow. A crow. There was fog, a man." Bonnie's crystal ball reading should've freaked Elena out because she knows about the fog and the crow at the cemetery. She also asked Stefan if he was following her. Bonnie is referring to Damon because she already knows what Stefan looks like.

It's disgusting to me how Elena opens up to him about the death of her parents, and he listens to her as if he knew nothing about it. I don't know how to explain it, but… some things are more meaningful when they're real. The sharing of feelings, most certainly. Stefan makes it clear that he knows of her sadness, so he openly admits to knowing she's vulnerable and he actually feels this is the best time to date her? Insane. He's basically like, "Hey, you won't be sad forever. I'm here." Not at all healthy. Stefan already knowing her parents died is his 10th lie. "Wow. Vicki Donovan says no. That's a first." Tyler basically referring to her as a slut. Vicki is extremely damaged. She's opting to date Tyler rather than Jeremy even though Jeremy has actual respect for her. This coupled with her drug use leads me to believe she suffers more than Matt in having absent parents. Elena talks to Stefan about Matt. While I do believe she lost her virginity to Matt, I don't believe she fell in love with him. I honestly believe Stefan is her first love. He vamps out again while talking to her and takes off to grab them a drink, which I consider his 11th lie. Again, he continues to be in her life. In continuing to be in her life, he's choosing to put her at risk with his ripper side.

Vicki walks herself into a cloud of Damon fog, which I love. "That's okay, Elena. You do what you have to do. I just want to let you know that I still believe in us. And I'm not giving up on that." This is Stefan in season 4, only he uses the sire bond as an excuse. Unlike Matt and Damon loving her enough to let her go, Stefan willfully puts Elena and her loved ones at risk because he refuses to. Stefan tries to get Caroline to back off by referring to how drunk she is. Because it's not enough, he tells her they're not gonna happen. One of the worst rejections I've ever seen, and he rejects her simply because she doesn't look like Katherine. Elena has no idea that she's the fresh meat. And I mean this literally. Katherine is 500 years old, and Stefan actually feeds on Elena. "Trust me, you're not going to want to witness this." It's sad to know that Elena is blind to the reality that it's the other way around. Stefan won't allow her to witness him. The point Damon makes as she and Jeremy stumble upon Vicki in the woods. From school to the cemetery to the party. I feel this act is due to Damon's inability to stop Stefan from being in Elena's life. Only a vampire who wants to get caught would take someone from a party, rip into their neck, then leave without compelling them to forget, and leave them in a place where they'd be found by someone attending the same party. Damon has been hiding in the shadows, so anyone who knows the truth about vampires would first suspect Stefan of being one because he's the only person new to town. If Elena knew about vampires, she'd already suspect Stefan. Because she doesn't, she will soon enough. Damon makes it clear through his own actions that if he can't stop Stefan from being in her life, then he's going to make sure she knows their truth.

There's a moment, a single flashing moment that I swear Matt stares at Stefan and suspects him of being a vampire. I do believe he's the kind of person that would be open to the idea that vampires exist. Stefan rushes home and into his room to greet Damon's crow. "Hello, brother." I consider this very moment the beginning of the series. Not Stefan's journal voiceover, not his first day at school, not his time at the party. This very moment right here. The writers didn't have me until Damon entered like a badass. He's every bit what a vampire show should look like. No, the crow isn't a bit much. "Wait till you see what I can do with the fog." Damon's reply is his way of informing Stefan that he was at the cemetery. Stefan wants to know when he got home because he wants to know if Damon knows about his life with Elena. Damon saying he couldn't miss Stefan's first day of school is a reference to slamming his crow into Bonnie's car. He's literally admitting his actions. It's insane to me how Stefan makes it seem like Damon doesn't belong there. If Stefan doesn't have to explain himself to Zach, then Damon doesn't have to explain himself to Stefan. "Ah. That can be a problem… for you." Damon makes it clear that he's not afraid of letting others know he's a vampire, but knows it'll be a problem for Stefan as he is pretending to be human with Elena. Again, Stefan asks Damon why he's there as if he has right over when Damon can or can't go home. As if Damon has to explain himself. That's why Damon responds the way he does. "I could ask you the same question." They're equals. If Stefan has the right to question why Damon is there, Damon has the right to question why Stefan is there. "However, I'm fairly certain your answer can be summed up all into one little word… Elena." Damon letting Stefan know that he knows about his life with Elena lol. The camera pans across an animal control van as the town sells Damon biting Vicki as another animal attack. If Stefan truly cared about anyone in this town, he'd already be leaving for the sake of getting Damon to leave. Instead, he gives Damon reason to stay. "Elena, there's no way I'm psychic. I know that. But whatever I saw, or I think I saw, I have this feeling… that it's just the beginning." Bonnie is referring to Damon, to the bottle reading she gave Elena at the party. From what I've seen in the show, most of Bonnie's predictions land on Damon. She actually has to "near touch" Stefan to feel him. Damon takes Elena's breath away through Bonnie, then they cut scene to Damon's comment. "She took my breath away. Elena. She's a dead ringer for Katherine." He's referring to their 3x22 flashback, and she does take his breath away in that scene. As I said of Stefan, the same can be said for Damon. In her taking his breath away, he had to meet her or see her prior to the pilot, prior to the moment he slammed his crow into Bonnie's car.

Damon standing in front of what could pass off as a tree of life. "Is it working, Stefan? Being around her, being in her world? Does it make you feel alive?" Damon basically asking if it makes him feel human. He teases this way, having no idea he's gonna fall in love with her for that reason. The difference between the two brothers is made clear early on. Stefan lives as a human, so he stalked Elena and entered her life with the knowing that she'd make him feel this way. So Stefan very much expected and planned to fall in love with her. Damon lives as a vampire. He wouldn't plan to fall for a human he'd otherwise want to eat. But he'll fall in love with Elena for the same reason. Delena is unplanned, organic. Just Google organic relationships if you don't know what I mean. It's one of many reasons I prefer Delena over Stelena. "Well, let's hope not. We both know how that ended." This is what had me certain of Delena by the end of 2x1. It's because Damon was at both places when Stefan vamped out with Elena that I feel he starts pushing the issue about Stefan's diet. I think he's extremely bothered by the fact that Stefan continues to be in Elena's life despite the risk he poses to her. He even goes so far as to smack him around for the sake of making him vamp out, which I feel is the very point. So yes, I believe this is his way of saying why wait for the inevitable, why not feed on Elena now. I chose to put this collage together to show what I mean because Damon was actually there. He's probably feel as I feel. Stefan can't resist her, yet chooses to continue being in her life, so he's willfully putting her at risk.

That whole toss out the window is hilarious af. Exactly what I expect of siblings lol

"But wherever you go, people die." "That's a given."

Damon is being honest. It's a given because he's a vampire. Stefan's response is hilariously controlling and ignorant.

"Not here. I won't allow it." "I take that as an invitation."

The audacity of Stefan astounds me. Not only that he believes he can control what Damon does or doesn't do and where, but that he believes he has the right to control what Damon does or doesn't do and where. If Stefan feels he has the right to stop Damon from acting a vampire in Mystic Falls, then Damon should feel he has the right to stop Stefan from acting human in Mystic Falls. It's insane to me how much Stefan tries to dictate Damon's life. Damon is a natural born rebel, so when someone tells him what he won't do, he'll take it as an invitation to do exactly that. That's how much Stefan dictates his life lol. Damon took Stefan's ring, which is hilarious to me. He should've held onto it, given how hard it would be for Stefan to play human with Elena at that point. But it appears Damon is a fair play kind of person. "You should know better than to think you're stronger than me. You lost that fight when you stopped feeding on people. I wouldn't try it again." Obvious from this comment alone that Stefan is the stronger brother, but only stronger on human blood because Damon is on human blood.

"I've seen you in the cemetery writing in your diary. Is that - is that supposed to be you moving on?" Elena still parenting Jeremy, and his comment to her is the very reason I consider this a fault of hers. She shouldn't try to stop Jeremy from mourning how he mourns. Everyone mourns differently. Caroline is at the Grill, talking to Bonnie. She's drunk and dealing with Stefan's rejection. Rather than confront him and ask why, she's blaming herself, her own faults. While I feel it's great that Caroline recognizes her faults, it's pretty shitty of Stefan to reject her in such a way. That kind of approach is enough for a girl to question her self-worth, and all because she doesn't look like Katherine.

"It's not a competition, Caroline." "Yeah, it is."

Still one of the first things that made me hate Caroline. She feels the need to compete with her best friend, and four months after Elena lost both her parents. Never mind the fact that she's faking a smile, pretending to be okay. As much as I hate Stefan, I hate Caroline more for the fact that while Stefan is trying to bring some happiness into Elena's life, Caroline wants to compete with her while she's needing that happiness in her life. Caroline is not the type of girl I'd be friends with.

Just as Damon wanted, Vicki informs Matt that she was bitten by a vampire. Again with Stefan and Katherine's photo. They cut from Katherine to Elena because he's trading one for the other. The vampire for the human. Clear by the look in his eyes that he was crying. Their end scenes basically make it clear that Damon is the bad brother, Stefan is the good brother, and that's how the audience is meant to view them. It's because Stefan is still in Elena's life that Damon gets his hooks into Caroline at the Grill, he's that desperate for Elena to know their truth. And yes, I do believe it has to do with him wanting her to get everything she's looking for. He has to make sure that a vampire is what she's looking for.

Elena unknowingly and unwittingly invited the Ripper of Monterey into her home, which isn't just an issue to her physical safety. I actually consider it a complete disrespect on a spiritual level. Not only that he denied her the choice to date or not date a vampire, but denied her the choice to invite or not invite one into her home. All of this because he can't stand being alone. Selfish doesn't even begin to describe it. Stefan lied his way into Elena's life, into her home, and into her heart. That's why I already consider her his victim.

Damon cross-connects. It's through Stefan's mention of the brother he doesn't talk to that Stefan, Damon, and Elena are a triangle. They don't become a "love" triangle until Damon falls in love with Elena.

One final note: While Stefan knows that Damon met Elena, he has no idea that Damon and Elena met first. It's my belief that he never comes to know this about them.

[warpedlegacywrites]

For the DADWC: "I drank every sky that I could," from the Florence + The Machine lyrics prompt list, for Dorian Pavus?

Happy @dadrunkwriting! Have an adorable scene of Dorian and Cullen hiding from a party at Skyhold and drinking on the battlements!

Dorian storms down the hall of Skyhold as fast as he can without looking like he’s hurrying. He estimates he’ll have maybe until the next bells before anyone notices he’s missing, and he wants to savor every moment of freedom he can. Much as he normally relishes the chance to be everyone’s favorite exotic curiosity, tonight’s crowd is especially voracious.  He pushes through the final door and emerges into the frosty night air, breathing the cold deep into his lungs. Yes, tonight is a night for solitude. Contemplative, constructive. Quiet.  The battlements are mostly empty, sparing the odd soldier on patrol. Dorian storms past all of their stiff salutes without so much as making eye contact. Perhaps his impending departure and proceeding journey home has lowered his tolerance for being the center of attention, but tonight he really just wants to be alone— He comes up short just as he rounds a corner and nearly trips over Cullen, leaning forward between crenelations, propped on his elbows and gazing out at the vast, white emptiness below. He might have anyway, at the rate he was going, if the foul-smelling smoke from his pipe hadn’t warned him just in time.  Cullen looks up in surprise at the dramatic near-collision, pulling the pipe from his mouth. He blinks once, twice, and then shock melts into wry humor.  “You too?” he asks. 

Dorian takes a moment to straighten and readjust his stance, trying to reclaim some of his laconic charm and cover up his malcontent. 

“I only needed a moment to catch my breath,” he says, coming around Cullen to lean with his back to the view and crossing his arms. “These people are relentless.” 

“Tell me about it.” Cullen’s eyes roll dramatically, and he returns to puffing at the pipe and admiring the view. 

Uh-oh. There’s that grumpy tone that Dorian has come to associate with the intrepid Commander’s darker moods. Even at a glance, it’s plain to see the broody shadow over his face. 

“You’re not about to hurl yourself over the battlements, are you?” Dorian asks, only half-joking. 

“Not yet,” comes Cullen’s flat response. 

“Good. The Inquisitor would be so disappointed in me if I let you deprive her of another dance.” 

“What’s disappointing is how difficult it is to find a good Fereldan ale tonight.”

Josephine had left standing orders that not so much as a single hops leaf be allowed within sniffing distance of the main keep, where it might offend the delicate sensibilities of a few dozen of her little Antivan merchant court. 

“That’s because ‘good Fereldan ale’ is an oxymoron.” Hmm. Can an oxymoron be more than two words? Ah well, Cullen’s not likely to care. 

“Don’t tell me you actually prefer that syrupy mess they’re serving in there?”

Dorian scoffs. “I should hope you think better of me than that.” And he pulls forth from the folds of his robe the wine bottle he’d managed to smuggle away from one of the servants. And by smuggle, he means bribe. 

It’s a bottle of clear cordial made from some type of winter night-blooming flower Dorian only vaguely recalls are called something like “snowbells”. The label reads “Blissard” – a pun so terrible it should have landed its crafter in prison. But judging from how protectively the servant was hovering around the cupboard where it was stocked, Dorian is fairly certain it was well worth the loss of his second-favorite ring. 

Cullen glances at the label with one eyebrow raised in curiosity. “Is that one of the bottles Josephine has been so paranoid about? She better not catch you with it.”

Even better. “Catch us, my friend. I’m making you my partner in crime tonight.” 

He and Cullen share a grin as he pulls out the corkscrew he’d grabbed on his way out. The cork gives way with little trouble, unleashing a pleasant if sharp scent that reminds Dorian of flower petals. He takes an experimental sip, and immediately his tongue is awash with something dry and pinpoint-sharp, a cold burn that he feels sliding smoothly down his throat. A bit like drinking the sun-kissed sky in the midst of winter. 

He makes a pleased sound, and hands it to Cullen, who hesitates. “You’re really going to turn your nose up at this when you’ve already burned off half your taste buds with that?” Dorian points with his nose at the pipe. 

Cullen smirks, and takes the bottle, challenge accepted. He lifts it to his nose and sniffs, giving it a thoughtful frown, before taking a pathetically small sip. “Mm, that’s actually not bad.” 

He hands it back, and they trade it back and forth for a few rounds. Soon, Dorian can feel its effects tingling pleasantly in his extremities, and the relentless mountain winds don’t bother him nearly so much. It’s not the sort of thing they’d serve in Tevinter, and… surprisingly, that’s exactly why he likes it. 

Tevinter wines are so dry they’re more like scorched earth than sun-kissed flora. Which he normally quite enjoys – “a vintage that’s as sharp as his wit” is his favorite joke at parties. Where else will he be able to sample such a wide variety of flavors, from so many different skies? 

Vishante kaffas, he’s waxing poetic again. Usually a sign of melancholy. Better continue to drink about it. 

“You leave in the morning?” Cullen asks, in a deliberately casual tone. 

“That’s right.” Dorian takes another drink. “Within a fortnightI’ll be back to civilization at last. I can almost taste the sweet air of the Nocen Sea already.” 

“Have you said your goodbyes to Tess?” 

That’s the cordial – Cullen almost never lets his pet name for the Inquisitor slip in mixed company. Theresa never seems to mind when he does, though. 

“Haven’t had the chance yet. She’s been waylaid by Josephine’s cadre of accountants most of the night. Supposedly, it’s absolutely vital to the future of the Inquisition.” Dorian allows himself a sly sideways glance at Cullen. “I think she’s avoiding me.” 

Cullen smiles knowingly. “Don’t take it personally. That’s her default maneuver when avoiding her feelings.” 

“Oh, I take it as a compliment. The longer she avoids me, the more she’ll miss me.” 

“She’s not the only one.” 

Dorian gives him a skeptical look. “Andraste’s arse, you’re not about to get sentimental on me, are you? Because I’m suddenly strongly reconsidering sending you over the battlements after all.” 

Cullen laughs outright. “You wouldn’t dare risk Tess’s wrath.”

“I already risked it when I told her I was leaving.” 

He’s met with a canny stare. “Are you sure it’s her who’s doing the avoiding?”

Dorian’s breath hitches for just a beat, but he recovers quickly. “You see? This is why I’ve got to leave. Far too many of you know me far too well. I need to return to a place where no one has the slightest clue what’s actually going through my head.” 

It’s as close as he’ll ever come to an admission, and Cullen seems to recognize it, reclaiming the bottle with a victorious grin. 

“Far be it for me to ever claim to know what’s going through your head.” He drinks, and hands the bottle back. 

“There’s a good man.” 

Yes, he’s going to miss this place.

[burakkuhardt-wrsf]

((Character Interaction, For Personal Notes))

Additional Notes: Part of the way through writing this I realized that I had already written a Silas/Milo confession/coming out scene, but this one is different I promise lol

Silas leaned lightly over the balcony, arms crossed but loose, foot casually over the other in a relaxed stance. There was a small, content smile on his face as he gazed up at the dark night sky.

As much as he prefers their quiet New Years celebrations at home, filled with Korean traditions and cozy family vibes, he quite liked this one as well. His dad puts a lot of work into this gala every year, and every year it pays off. His colleagues and staff rave about how much fun they had the whole year, and there is always a large spike in donations for their research. It was enough to fill Silas with a sense of pride, knowing that they were making a real difference, not just drinking the night away.

And he really was enjoying himself, even if the date he brought had ditched him about an hour into the party. He knew he was lucky enough to even get that hour with her, and he felt it. Even just an hour with Bailey was enough to put a warmth in his heart that over powered the brisk wind of night.

One would think that having your date run off with your closest friend would, perhaps, stir up some kind of ill-feeling, like jealousy or betrayal, but honestly all he could think about was how cute they both were dancing together- or how happy they looked, stifling laughter fits every time their eyes met. It was a shame that they weren't each other's type, otherwise they really would be the perfect couple.

Silas thinks that over, giving a small chuckle. Maybe he should be concerned? Maybe he wasn't actually attracted to Bailey, if he'd let her go that easily? But it just seemed so silly to feel that way when he loved seeing them happy together.

The drapes fluttered in the wind, a soft sound accompanying the distant chatter of party guests. He watched as the shadows danced in the glow of the light casted on the ground, and took note of one growing darker, moving towards him.

Silas turned to the open balcony doors, his content smile growing even softer. "Hey" He greeted, barley above a whisper.

"Hey" Milo responded in a similar fashion, fidgeting uncertainly but otherwise unmoving. He looked pensive, unsure of himself.

Silas holds out his hand towards his small friend, an unpressured offering. He seems to consider it for a moment before taking a deap breath and shuffling over, taking Silas' hand lightly but not quite looking at him yet.

Silas interlocks their fingers, giving his hand a squeeze. "What's up? Where's Bailey?" He asks gently.

Milo stares at his feet, seemingly unwilling to look anywhere else. "She- I, uhm. I wanted...well, they thought-" He swallows. "With Skylar, I think." He finally says, dejected.

"Oh" Silas frowns slightly. "I'm sorry"

Milo finally looks up, giving his friend a look of confusion and something else Silas can't really pin point. "For what?"

Silas echos the confused expression "You sounded sad, I thought...well, I thought maybe she ditched you."

"Oh" Milo says quietly, mostly to himself as he quickly looks away. "No..."

Silas' brows furrow deeper- he squeezes Milos hand again, trying to catch his gaze again.

"I wanted to come find you" He continues just as quietly. Then, a heavy sigh just before looking up again, an odd smile on his face. "Just to...to let you know it's almost midnight! You should come back to the party and...and..." His smile wobbled, and Silas swore his eyes were shining. "And yeah-" his voice breaks slightly on the words, and Silas frowns fully.

Milo's eyes dart around the balcony, unable to look at one thing for long. "You probably wanna find Bailey for the countdown, yeah?"

Silas studies his friend for a moment, but feels completely lost. Something happened, he was sure, but it was clear Milo didn't want to talk about it. Pushing these kinds of things never worked out well for him in the past....still, he didn't want to ignore it.

Instead, he puts his arm around his small friend, gently bringing him closer until their sides are comfortably tucked together. "Nah." He tries to put something lighthearted in his tone, something to let his friend know everything was ok.

"I was gonna stay out here, enjoy the fireworks...most of the guests watch them on the lawn or in the garden, but they're better up here." He smirks a bit at Milo. "But I'm sure I don't have to tell you that."

Milo scoffs lightly. "You're lucky I even unlocked the doors for you."

His smile was just a ghost, but it was enough to make Silas beam in response. "I am!"

When Milo looks at him again, Silas' smile only grows brighter, making his own smile appear a little more. "I was joking"

"Maybe- but it's true!" When Milo only scrunches his nose in response, Silas squishes his friend even closer into his side. "I'm lucky to have you!"

The party trailed off into silence, and they knew the countdown was about to start.

10

"I'm lucky to have you too, Silas" Milo still sounded nervous, and Silas rubbed his friends arm comfortingly.

9

"I'm really glad you're here, these parties really weren't the same without you, y'know?"

8

Milo swallows again, laughs nervously. "I...I can imagine."

7

"I really missed you too..." Milo continues.

6

"There was just...just so much I had wanted to tell you..."

5

"And...and I know we called all the time but, some things you can't just say over the phone..."

4

"Yeah, I get it" Silas smiles down at him. "There was a bunch I wanted to tell you too, but I didn't really know how to."

3

"Sorry seeing me again was such a shock" Silas laughs "I forgot how different I would look to you!"

2

"It's- it's ok! I wasn't bad-surprised or anything! Just...you looked so...y'know...you're really hot!" Milo shuts his mouth with a click, face growing red.

1

Silas just laughs, eyes crinkling with true joy. He leans over, brushing Milo's hair away from his face before placing a soft kiss on his forehead.

"Silas-" Milo says weakly, barely audible over the countdown.

Silas doesn't pull away, simply pressing their foreheads together as fireworks start lighting up the sky. "Happy New Year, Miley" He says softly.

HAPPY NEW YEAR! The party erupts behind them-

"I think I'm a girl!!" Milo shouts at the same time as the crowd, but loud enough for each word to be perfectly clear to Silas.

Party poppers and noise makers go off all around them, accompanied by shouts of joy.

Silas startles, pulling away- he looks at Milo with wide eyes, and Milo startles just the same. He looks up at Silas with a completely horrified expression, as if he was even more surprised by his own words than Silas was.

"That's not- that's not what I meant to say-"

"It's ok-"

"No, no that wasn't what I was supposed to say!"

"Miley-"

"I...I practiced! This was the perfect moment and I just-"

"Miles...."

"I ruined it" Milo was almost in tears now, gripping the sides of his face in distress.

"Hey..." Silas said softly, gently taking Milo's hands in his own to prevent any injury to his face or breathing tube. "It's ok" He reassured, using his thumb to trace light circles on each of Milo's palms. "You can still tell me, nothing is ruined."

"I can't" Milo protested with a weak, wobbly voice. "I didn't even say what I said right! I can't do this-"

"You can- Just take a deep breath..."

Milo breaths in, but shakes his head softly as he releases it, the tears falling down.

"Maybe...maybe if it's too hard, you can tell me what you meant by what you said? Is that....easier, or harder than the other one?"

"I didn't mean it" Milo hiccups "not like that, I didn't mean- I'm not a girl."

"Okay" Silas says softly, gently urging him to continue.

"But I'm not...I'm not a boy, either" Milo whispers through tears.

"That's- that's ok? You don't have to be...you know we'll all love you just the same..." Silas moved his hands up Milo's arms, rubbing his upper arms soothingly.

"I- I know" Milo says, voice still wobbling. "I don't know why I said that...especially... especially now of all times, I..." He swallows again, wiping tears away. "I panicked?"

"How come?" Silas asks softly, hoping maybe Milo had calmed enough to explain- hoping it would help him somehow.

Milo sighs, thunking his head onto Silas' chest, probably to avoid looking at him any longer. "I think...I think I got in my own head about...if this would change anything? If maybe..." He brings his arms up, hands shaking as they twisted in Silas' shirt. "maybe you wouldn't like me, like this"

"Oh" Silas responds, quiet and breathy as the air leaves his lungs.

Part of him had forgotten about his talk with Milo from before- about why he really went to live with his mom. He didn't forget on purpose but...maybe he had, a bit. It made his head feel funny everytime he thought of it, an uncomfortable mix of unrecognizable emotions.

He loved Milo, he really really loved him. But the thought of him giving up his father because he couldn't face his emotions is...rough to think about, at the very least. And knowing it was, in some way, Silas' fault? That's a guilt he'll never unlearn. But guilt wasn't the only feeling there, and he couldn't even begin to comprehend how deap that one goes- pushing it away felt like the best option.

Being reminded of it now left a stinging sensation in his chest, not necessarily a bad feeling just....a strange ghost of unpacked emotion. Silas swallows down the lump in his throat, heart suddenly beating so fast it was starting to make him nauseous.

Milo, perhaps feeling the change, looks up at him with a frown. He searches for something in his friends expression, and apparently having found it, pulls away.

For a few moments, Milo just stares off into the distance of the balcony. Seeing his small friend suddenly so calm, so...resigned, made the emotion-storm brewing in Silas' chest grow unbearably stronger- he took deap, deliberate breaths in an effort to appease it somehow.

When Milo turns back, he has a small smile of unknown emotion on his face. But he looks content, in some way, and it confuses Silas even more. "Should probably go rescue Bailey" Milo says, voice almost teasing "Can't imagine what Skylar's gotten them into"

It was an out. Milo was giving him an out. Did he want an out? "Yeah" Silas responded, trying to find his voice again. "I can see the headlines already" He joked weakly, still unsure.

Milo gives him an odd half smile, pushing off the the balcony rail and making his way towards the doors, Silas following a few steps behind.

The storm in his chest slowly unwinds as he watches Milo move through the crowd, elegantly dodging half-drunk party guests. Before he even realizes what he's doing, Silas has reached out towards his friend- grabbing his hand lightly enough to leave plenty of room for objection.

Milo doesn't turn or even pause in his movement, but he does link their fingers together as he moves deeper into the party. It's the last bit of comfort Silas needed for the storm to dissipate fully, and he sighs in relief.

As the pair move towards a clearing, Silas catches up with Milo and syncs their steps, walking side by side with clasped hands.

They survey the room, and eventually spot the two sitting on the couch in a back corner. Milo pulls him towards the clearing infront of their friends, but pauses part of the way there- locking eyes with Skylar, who's head was resting on Bailey's shoulder. Skylar pokes Bailey, getting her attention before pointing towards him and Silas. She looks up, looking over the room a bit before finally finding the pair, a smile spreading on her face as she waves at them. Milo waves back slightly, Silas takes that moment to lean into him- bumping shoulders.

"I would" Silas says quietly.

Milo blinks, turning his head to look at Silas questioningly.

"I'd like you, however you are." He clarifies.

Before Milo has time to respond, Silas drags him towards the two on the couch, smile bright once again.

[canmom]

so there's a widely used tool called ReShade which intercepts the DirectX API calls of a game to add additional post-processing effects using the game's frame and depth buffers. basically gives you access to various deferred techniques, with certain technical caveats. common effects include bloom, depth of field, tonemapping, and screen space ambient occlusion.

one of the more ambitious effects is Screen Space Realtime Global Illumination (SSRTGI, or just RTGI), implemented in Marty's Mods. this attempts to simulate diffuse-diffuse interreflection, i.e. how the light from a brightly lit object will spill onto surrounding objects. it's a very important part of rendering bright, colourful scenes.

Global Illumination is usually handled in offline rendering by raytracing, and there's been a lot of excitement in the last few years about the new realtime raytracing acceleration hardware in graphics cards. SSRTGI doesn't use this at all: it knows nothing about the scene geometry beyond the depth buffer. instead it uses raymarching, which steps a ray forward a fixed distance at a time until it discovers an intersection with the depth buffer. Since we're using the depth buffer, the algorithm only knows about the near sides of objects.

This video is a bit rambling but it shows some of the limitations of SSRTGI:

So this has been a fun new toy to play with now my computer can handle it. For example, here's a scene with a bright dancefloor in FFXIV's default renderer, which by default has a strong green tint and desaturated colours.

The Alive preset's colour grade improves matters a lot (this scene doesn't necessarily show the best of it, but removing the green tint and desaturation is a night and day difference throughout the game)...

...but my character's legs should be affected by the bright floor. Enter SSRTGI. I can actually isolate the exact RTGI contribution:

I've turned up the ray length a fair bit compared to the Alive preset's default, since it was a bit too subtle to be worth the performance hit otherwise.

You can see that the SSRTGI models both ambient occlusion and indirect light from bright surfaces. Essentially, each pixel traces a ray in a random direction until it hits a surface visible to the camera. Then, it samples the brightness of that pixel and calculates a light contribution and AO amount. I assume it does some kind of average over neighbouring pixels to smooth out the noise.

The effect is a little subtle, but it makes the scene look more integrated...

...at the cost of a hefty framerate hit (using a 4070Ti; unmodded FFXIV runs at an 1440p ultrawide on an easy 144fps (the monitor refresh rate), without RTGI I can get into the mid 90s, with RTGI it's pretty resolutely locked at 72), and heating my graphics card up to 70-80°C (well within tolerances but it's rare to see a game push it that hard).

The effect may be a little subtle in this scene, which has a lot of high frequency detail and darker materials. It really pops in the Fall Guys crossover, which is a very bright scene.

Note the bright green reflected light on the green cube as a particularly obvious RTGI effect (although the shadow it casts is kinda janky ngl). I should really get a screenshot of the exact RTGI contribution in this area, and create a suite of comparisons like the above.

The RTGI also stands out on bright days in Ul'dah, it does a lot for the Gold Saucer, and generally it makes certain environmental light sources a bit prettier. If you turn it up too much it starts to look a bit silly, since brightly lit floors turn into brilliant torches lighting up nearby walls. But there's a comfy middle ground where it's noticeable without being too extreme. I'm looking forward to seeing how it fares in the colourful areas of the expansions, but this character isn't out of ARR yet.

So, that's cool and all, but toying around with SSRTGI, you really start to feel its limits compared to true raytracing. For example, objects will cast shadows in the indirect lighting, but the specular light contributions are not properly affected by the base game's shadowmaps, so you see speculars in places that you shouldn't. A decent number of surfaces in FFXIV have planar reflections (using the usual technique of rendering the scene inverted through the mirror to a rendertexture), which is nice, but there's no middle ground between 'perfect mirror' and 'rough specular that still reflects the scene'. And of course the other usual limitations of SSRTGI, e.g. a brightly lit surface must be visible to the camera to contribute light.

No, this is nice and all, but the people want real raytracing. Which leads me to wonder is there a way to intercept all the draw calls issued by an application, extract the geometry from them, reformat it for raytracing and feed it into the raytracing hardware - basically replace the game's entire render pipeline with raytracing?

This is going to take some research. It very likely isn't possible, or performant if it was possible, because a lot of smart tech artists have already been working hard to push the limits of ENBSeries, Reshade, etc. (Acerola has a solid video on implementing various effects in Reshade.) But the imp of the perverse in me wants to figure out if it can be done. After all, RenderDoc is capable of intercepting and analysing all the draw calls issued by an application. The question is, how severe is the overhead of on-the-fly translating rasterisation calls into raytracing calls? Most likely absolutely hideous! That's not how you're supposed to use a graphics card!

Since the hardware I develop for very definitely does not support raytracing, I have relatively little idea how you actually write a shader with raytracing. But now I kind of want to find out. If I ever get anywhere beyond idle thoughts, I'll let you know what I find out.

[heirscrchd]

🌌 💐

𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐉𝐈 𝐀𝐒𝐊𝐒!

🌌 MILKY WAY - what was the inspiration behind your oc? what was the first thing you decided about them?

Your honor, I love women being evil with morally complex histories and ideals of how good intentions can be played out in the worst of ways. Along with how the nuances of war and ideals of the future change as the years go on and how mental health also impacts our trajectory and relationships.

Genuinely I've loved Azula for a long time, but tbh when I watched Avatar I never actually was in the RP scene. I didn't get into the RP scene till like, 2012? And that's when Korra came out, and I didn't really like it after the ending of season 1ish. It just fell off to me and so i lost interest in the series but recently.

Well tbh, I got really fucking high and went on netflix and saw avatar and was like "oh yeah i should watch that :D" and then made an entire blog in one night. But I genuinely love Azula as a complex character who with her intelligence and planning does believe in the "original" idea of the fire nation's reason for the war: to improve the lives and spread their influence and in turn their prosperity with the world. The only problem being the method of which one does this as she was taught to believe they *must* accept their gifts and if not then force it upon them through shows of strength and power since clearly they don't understand progress.

She's a very interesting character and i love diving into her ideals. i still need to re-read smoke and shadow though because i. i genuinely have no fucking clue what shes doing in that one other than trolling people tbh.

💐 BOUQUET - create a bouqet for them! what do those flowers mean? are any of the flowers their particular favourite?

NOOO MY GREATEST FUCKING WEAKNESS. FUCKING, FLOWER SYMBOLISM? REALLY??? S O BS /lh

Amaryllis - Strength and Pride, not to mention their bright red color is 100% Azula

Pale Red Carnation - “my heart aches for you,” more akin to feelings of how she longs for her family's love and affection. Or perhaps how Ursa's heart aches for Azula and the treatment she was put through and the love she never could have given her.

Marigold - Grief, cruelty, like Azula she is beautiful as she is dangerous and a representation of how even the "nicest" looking peoples can hold a much darker side to them.

(made up flower) Pheonix Flowers - Bright red and beautiful they blossom for only a short period much like Azula who while in the peak of her campaign and work within the war flourished and accomplished many things. Yet like them, their beauty only lasts a short time before they are wrung dry but the hot summer heat and sun combust into flames burning away to ashes and leaving only the seeds of new flowers behind. Azula would also find this to be her fate as she loses grip on reality and her mental state combusting and burning away to nothing but ashes of her former self.

[blackjackkent]

🖍Post Any sentence from your wip ♻️A scrapped idea for your current WIP ❤️Not a question, just a second kudos to send.

(Ask Game for Writers to Procrastinate Working on Your WIPs)

🖍 Post Any sentence from your wip

"And it's true she has never been sentimental, no matter the dangers pressing around them. This fear, though, is not sentimentality but something far deeper and older and more primal - the rage-fear of the mother tiger whose cubs are threatened. No logic, no stoic resolve, no discipline or self-control will allow her to escape it. It was only the pure knife-edge clarity of adrenaline that has kept it to the back of her mind this long. Now the danger is past, and she is forced to take stock of the things she may have lost in this victory."

From the post-game Jaheira one-shot that's currently top of my WIP pile. (More than a sentence, I know, but I'm pretty pleased with how this whole paragraph came together. c: )

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♻️A scrapped idea for your current WIP

One of the reasons Chap4 of Open Your Eyes took so long is that I spent quite a while writing a whole opening sequence where the crew escaped from the guards through the "Muzad" - the Undercity warrens of Calimport. I ended up scrapping it from the chapter because the necessary exposition screwed with the pacing of what was supposed to be a hectic escape sequence.

I did really like some of what I wrote in it, though, so I saved most of it and I think it may end up seeing use in a later chapter instead.

Excerpt from the scrapped scene:

They have, quite suddenly, left the sewers and entered a broad pathway lined by buildings on either side. It might, indeed, look very much like a nighttime street, except that the "sky" is smooth sandstone, some thirty feet above their heads. A small crowd of urchin children, startled at the unexpected appearance of new faces, scatter into the shadows between the buildings. "Welcome to the Muzad," Rasaad says with a mild flicker of something like pride. "The true heart of Calimshan, some have said." "Muzad?" Minsc asks. He prods at the brick face of one of the buildings as they pass by, as if half-expecting it to tip over and reveal itself a clever facade. "A city that hides within the sewers as Boo hides within Minsc's pocket." He grins, sounding somewhat impressed. "This is a magic not seen every day!" Jaheira smiles slightly. "Intertwined, I think - like two balls of yarn tangled in each other," she says quietly. "Or so Khalid once described it to me." She shoots Rasaad a sideways look. "The Undercity, yes?" "The Muzhajaarnadah," Rasaad agrees. "The city of shadow. Calimport has rebuilt itself time and time again, and each time it leaves fragments of itself below, and below, and below..." Imoen clicks her tongue softly. "We know how well Caden fits in with criminal sorts," she says dryly. "This'll go well." "Shut up," Caden says idly, but he gives Rasaad a concerned look. "Dangerous sort of place?" Rasaad hesitates. "To describe the Muzad only one way is to attempt to describe all of the gods in a word," he says after a little while. "Many criminals make their homes here, yes, and do business in the dark corners. And many people who scrounge their living by honest means where the opportunity allows. Some who come by day to escape the heat of the city streets. Some who come by night to find pleasures too strongly censured by the amlakkar. It is said that darker things still lurk in the forgotten corners of this place, things that slumber and should not be awakened - but these, I think, are fairy tales only. It is simply a city, as all cities are." He shrugs. Another long pause. "I was born here," he says, more to himself than to Caden.

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❤️Not a question, just a second kudos to send.

Ahhhhhh, thank you! And back at you - now that I've finally actually caught up and read some of your writing, I am doubly flattered at the kind words you've had for mine. <3 TYSM friend.