#i really like him but this feels pointless idk why hes talking to me if he doesnt want anything to come from it

[sugared-violets]

ughhhhh why am i even still talking to this guy

[lord-squiggletits]

You know, I think my thing about liking “asshole Megatron” more than “good Megatron” (speaking in terms of IDW1) isn’t just the fact that I find evil Megatron more entertaining and sexy, but that I suppose I don’t like the way good guy/Autobot Megatron’s personality is?

Like mmmm I’m not trying to be one of those people who goes “he’s OOC!” or “he’s such a wimp!” or “he’s evil and doesn’t deserve to be redeemed,” but there was just something slightly grating about the way Megatron is/acts in MTMTE/LL. If I had to pick a word for it, he just seems very... self-pitying? Ratchet said it perfectly while the DJD were attacking and he told Megatron “Oh of course it’s all about you, what a surprise.”

There’s something about Autobot Megatron that makes me hate him as a person, not like in a “haha what a pathetic bastard” way the way I see villain Megatron, but in a way that’s like “god you are so fucking stuck up and annoying” in a non-enjoyable way. Maybe it’s because Autobot Megatron was a last minute plot change and I’m sensing how JRO “forced” Megatron to be part of the narrative last minute? But that would just be a matter of shoddy writing, and MTMTE/LL aren’t shoddily written.

It’s presumptuous to try and assume the motivation of an author, but I guess it kind of feels like JRO was trying so hard to make Megatron a better person that it backfired and made him more unlikeable in my eyes. Like, Megatron’s dialogue about how if he goes back towards violence he’ll never come back out again because the guilt will be too much is poetic yeah, it’s a very cute notion, but the context is that the fucking DJD (who Megatron made) is attacking and killing members of the Lost Light (who Megatron is in charge of) and was it supposed to make me think of Megatron as noble or pitiable or something? Because instead it just pissed me off and made me want to scream “this isn’t fucking about you Megatron, stop being an angsty mope and DO SOMETHING GOOD FOR ONCE instead of crying about how hard it is for you to not enjoy killing people.”

It’s fucking weird because I of course love the concept of redeemable Megatron, and I’m fascinated with the way in which he adopted violence as a coping mechanism for trauma, but the way he’s written in MTMTE/LL just makes him seem more like he’s a self-justifying asshole trying to make pitiable attempts at good deeds than like he’s actually improving as a person. Which of course is a problem caused by the fact that JRO shoved him into the plot last minute and it didn’t actually make sense for Megatron to be on the Lost Light.

[luffyvace]

✌︎ Sitting in Zoro’s Lap hcs ✌︎

I just felt like doing these<3 I don’t usually do concepts and I’m testing out the waters so they’ll likely be short ;3 also I wanna do more than just relationship hcs bc it’ll be more fun ✌︎

enjoy zoro simps cuz y’all definitely be on my acc 💖

At first he feels it’s kinda pointless

like he’s thinking “why would you wanna sit on my lap?!—sit on a chair or- just- somewhere else!...even the floor or something idk?!!”

but however you somehow convince him to let you, whether that’s bribery (swords or alcohol), sitting on him anyway or schmoozing him over into letting you,

you did it!!

And that’s all that matters :)

he probably got tired of your relentless request and just let you eventually

While you sit on him he’s usually sleeping sitting up, drinking alcohol or just relaxing with his eyes closed

When you sit facing him it’s a little more comfortable for him

he prefers it that way

sometimes you lay your head on his shoulder/chest and fall asleep on him

he’ll scoff either way but he gets a bit annoyed if he was trying to do something that requires getting up

Like training for example

If he wasn’t too busy in the first place then he just scoffs and probably takes a nap himself

if he’s not tired he waits for you to get up

he doesn’t like to stir you from sleep but if it’s important like a ship attack he’s kinda rough about doing so- 😀

bro he basically yanks you up and yells your name

not because he’s trying to be mean 🤷‍♀️

Just the fact that if an attack comes your way you won’t be able to dodge—and protecting someone isn’t his thing when fighting, he always tells you to go hide if your weak

uh anyway 😗

When you sit with your back to his chest its comfy but like don’t be surprised if he picks you up and turns you around (i don’t wanna hear anyone saying they’re too heavy bc you obviously must not have seen the weights he lifts on a daily)

sitting like that’s kinda annoying bc having to crane your neck back and to the side is not fun 😬😀

plus you probably hit his jaw a lot-

Or things like

1) he bites his tongue

2) his teeth hit your head (and it hurts for both of you)

3) he spits his alcohol in your hair (when you hit his jaw with your head)

4) you hit your head on his nose

So yeah this position is less common for you guys

Bonus if your hair is long

then he gets his fingernails stuck to it too :)

he prefers you don’t sit on his lap in public

mostly because he doesn’t like the stares that come with it 💁‍♀️

he just feels awkward

If you once again somehow convince him to let you in public however…..

it’ll be the type where he man spreads and you sit on one leg facing him

that way he has a bit more space to move and one of his arms is free

just in case an attack comes that he needs to block

orrrrrr just for simply drinking alcohol 😋

on the merry/sunny he’s more likely to cave in

especially since it’s just the strawhats

unless they make fun of him or smth (especially robin) then he doesn’t mind as much

plus y’all can have some privacy in the crows nest most likely

ngl he pretty comfy to sit on

unless your really tall or smth he’s prob bigger than you

so it’s not like y’all are uncomfortable or squished

zoro after time skip is low key more comfy because you know that dark green coat he wears?

yeah it like bends to create a little chair when he manspreads

and idk if you know what I’m talking about but those who get it do 💗👍

Does he end up liking it?

yes :)

yes he does. :)

Im trying to branch out and do more concepts because it’s more interesting for me to write, and you to read so why not 😊

Hopefully my zoro stans enjoyed !! <3 ⚔️🗡

[mysteriousl0ser]

FUCK IT, TADC EP 2 THOUGHTS MAJOR SPOILERS!! BE WARNED

LETS GO!! Pomni is still pretty screwed up over her first day here, I mean this is all fresh and new to her so like DUH. everyone else here is somewhat or entirely adjusted and kind of just cope with the fact that theyre here I dont think pomni has really processed how long theyve been here?? In the pilot she seems SO bothered by how okay they are with this and willingness to do caines fuckass adventures

i dont blame her, anywho pomni in her nightmare-induced state starts to abstract, she had to face an abstraction early on in her days here which like have to be pretty truamatizing (duh) and cried out to ANYONE, but where she called for help literally no one helped her “oh well” they though

Pomni doesn't feel like anybody else cares, shes the only one whos still going through an adjustment phase and freaking the fuck out while everyone else is just going along with the adventure, something she still thinks is kinda pointless and doesn't get why anybody would waste their time here doing when they COULD be looking for a way out, why is she the only one who seems to still be distressed here? To feel lost? At least from her perspective, it seems that way. Unfortunately, these people have already been here for a while.

Pomski then meets someone whos just like her, their whole reality was shattered and they don't belong anywhere, mirroring how pomni feels at the moment, even if she still has some sort of grip now vs when she first got here

And she finds comfort in that!!! Why is it that this NPC feels more real than the ACTUAL REAL PEOPLE trapped here with her??? Whatever the reason, its something to hold onto. Something to LATCH onto. Hes Real. or at least he feels real, and maybe she feels like she belongs with him because at least he knows the feeling, something shes not really felt w anyone else before

This comfort and solidarity she has with gumigoo is shortlived however as she gets brutally reminded that he wasnt real. The anchor she had vanished and there's quite literally nobody to catch her fall.

And i feel like ragatha trying to comfort her the way she did didnt help AT ALL. it was kinda a sore reminder that gumigoo is easily replaceable, and GOD thats so frustrating?? This thing felt so real to her and nobody seems to care that he just vanished!! If they could be so apathetic to this whos to say they wont just treat her demise just the same as she thought they would???

But then something important happens. They have a funeral for Kaufmo, someone whos been established to be their friend way before Pomni ever came here. And maybe it didn't ever settle in before that kaufmo was a real person! Literally!! And he was real to them. Just like gumigoo though less directly they relate to being in pain and kind of in shock of losing someone who they cared about and who was a real person to care about to them AND LIKE YOU CAN SEE WHERE IT CLICKS IN HER FACIAL EXPRESSION HERE, THE CHANGE IN HER EYES AND THE WAY HER EXPRESSION LOSENS AT THIS IDK IT DRIVES ME CRAZY GOD THE ANIMATORS WENT OFF W THIS EP VS THE PILOT IM IM IM

anyways anyways They have their funeral service, theres quite literally no reason for anyone to just lie and go along with whatever bs caines got going on, this also quite literally has nothing to do with him. This is kind of their own little way of keeping some sort of human traditions and respect for the human persons that get stuck here because they care. HELL you can even see pomni feel a little guilty here when ragatha says that his funeral was disrupted cause she arrived here

anyways thats exactly it!! They fucking car!! This whole time pomni thought that they just didnt care and were kind of apathetic or downright patronizing her over all this and mocking her or whatnot, like in her dream sequence. But no, they all talk respectively about their memories and experiences with kaufmo, the things they shared together and the feelings they had. EVERYBODY was grieving. Ragatha who always tried to put on some cheerful and kind of irritating (to pomni at least) everythings fine facade (which also kind of feels less real to her at least i think so but i don't think she figured it to be a coping mechanism) to just straight up start crying and breaking up a bit, even mentioning how this does not ever get any easier and how shes had to deal with this plenty of times before.

Zooble the usually apathetic and kind of asshole who keeps to themselves and gives off i don't care energy and probably gave off the impression that they didn't care about anyone here and just treated the people stuck here as an unfortunate fact and nothing more actually being vulnerable and probably doing the same as ragatha talking about their memories with kaufmo

Kingers ALWAYS kind of zoned out or not really taking anything seriously and just being there completely lost in space, but here hes grounded, and even earlier in the episode when ragatha needed it most he remained grounded then too (tho pomni didnt see that i just wanted to mention it). Just like the others he grieves and lives in the unfortunate moment

more of the kinger being grounded when the thought counts

GANGLE- dude even if its for just a moment she smiles here despite having her tragedy mask and like her whole shtick is being of whatever mood or emotion her mask is allegedly wether she wants to or not, but no here shes more than just that, she smiles for a bit when reminiscing her moments with kaufmo only to go back into crying, and man shes always crying with her tragedy mask but its beyond as far as anyone can tell wether or not its really her or just because of her mask, but here? its really her, no matter what the mask on her face shows!! shes genuinely smiling despite having her comedy mask and shes genuinely crying which is very blatantly obviously different to the usual mask cry etc etc

heres something about all this, it hits pomni in a way. These people ARE real, and they care. They care about her, they have nothing else but eachother and THATS something to latch onto. Thats something to hold her down, even if they just met pomni

SPEAKING OF JUST MEETING POMNI she literally expressed how she didnt wanna just LEAVE gumigoo there by himself because she believes no one should just be left there

the circus peeps just met pomni and just like how she felt a real connection to gumigoo in this digital hell she feels a sort of connection with these people too. Theyre gonna have her back all the same, maybe she wont feel so out of place and alone. BONUS THING!! The literal only times she genuinely smiles is when she feels this real connection to what feels real to her and has a genuine and sincere moment with these people whether it be an npc or a trapped member. Idk it just means something to me how significant both these moments are tipped off with a genuine smile a REAL SMIE!! (id add pictures but tumblr has a 30 image limit) OH ALSO BONUS BONUS THING THE DIFFERENCE IN OUTRO MUSIC IS SO IS SO ITS SO the outro song for the pilot kinda feels so ethereal and out of the moment at least to me it kinda feels like it you're slipping through the cracks and just, existing within yourself as the rest of the world around you kind of shatters into glass or melts into water or something i dont think ANY of that made any sense but its loud and its blaring and its so out of reach in a way, mad disassociation vibes but the outro song for the 2nd ep is a lot quieter yet its right there, at first it starts really small, lonely even. trapped by yourself but as the music gets louder and more instruments join in on the song it kind of has a comforting feel? bittersweet? even? its grounding ina way which is much different from how the first one felt at least to me lmao and the comforting feel kinda only emphasizes what I was talking about earlier- the comfort in having that anchor of reality with having a real moment with these people and making that connection yk? and like as i was saying at first the song starts off with just one instrument, at the start of the episode pomni feels utter alone and out of place even if these people here with here are stuck in the same situation as her, together alone. but as the other instruments join. in it kinda uplifts the song a bit, its not one sole instrument anymore like how in the end pomni feels that connection with everyone else, not so alone anymore idk jackshit about music theory so this is entirely a feelies talk instead of like- music lore? so don't take anything i say as like- idk some professional speak im just a nerd nerding about silly digital fixations ANYWAYS THATS ALL FOR NOW I AVE MORE TO SAY BUT THIS IS LONG ENOUGH LOL if you actually read all the way down this far thank you for listening!!! i really really appreciate it :]

[vaginalsauce]

Short lived

Warnings

Unprotected p in v, oral fem and male receiving, spanking, drooling, pet names, mentions of cigarettes, mentions of alcohol and drinking, hair pulling, jealous slash, cum eating, flirty Izzy, degradation, dirty talk, slapping, really fucking rough, slight cnc?, Biting, choking, dacryphilia, lil bit of fluffy angst at the end idk

A/N

I kinda got carried away I am so sorry 🪨💨

Word count

2.5k

----------------------------------------------------------

Walking from the kitchen with armfuls of beers, you set all of them down on the coffee table with a huff. You plopped right down in-between Izzy and Slash, craning your head back, bored of Steven and Duff messing around with cameras, and Axl yelling about pointless things that weren't relevant to anything.

You couldn't help but turn your head as Izzy moved to pull out a cigarette from the pack on the table. He placed it between his lips, and was quick to light it. He took a long drag before turning to meet your eyes, letting out a chuckle.

This caused Slash to turn his head towards the two of you, eyeing Izzy carefully.

"You want one, or are you just gonna keep staring, honey?" It caught you off guard but you only shrugged. Izzy pulled the cigarette from his pretty lips, placing it between yours gently.

Before you could even inhale, Slash wrapped his arm around your shoulders and took the cigarette from your mouth, putting it out on his own jeans. He stood, and without a word, left the room, slamming the door to Axl's bedroom.

It was no secret that you and Slash had feelings for each other, especially with Axl's big mouth around. But ever since you and Izzy had been getting closer, becoming better friends, Slash had become more distant, pissier towards you.

You sighed, letting your head fall into your hand as you began to rub your temples.

"What's his deal?" Izzy questioned, eyebrows raised in a bit of surprise. You shook your head.

"I don't have a clue. I'm gonna go talk to him." You stood, stepping over the empty beer bottles that were scattered across the floor.

As you reached Axl's bedroom, you gently knocked on the door, listening closely for any signs of his presence. "Slash? Can I come in?"

No response.

You knocked again, but there was still no response. Turning the doorknob, you gently pushed the door open, greeted by the sight of Slash getting off the bed and walking over to you. He pulled you into the room and closed the door harshly, his body pressing yours against the door.

"Slash?" You questioned, your breathing quickening as his hand ghosted down your arm to the lock on the door, flipping it and jiggling the door handle to make sure it was locked.

His face was so close to yours, you could smell the smokey breath that fanned over your face. His eyebrows furrowed. "Why do you have to do that?" He questioned, but it sounded more like a demand.

"do what?" You whispered, scared to raise your voice. His hand came to rest on your neck, giving a small squeeze.

"Fucking flirt with every guy that looks at you. You know what the fuck you're doing." He spat, before spinning the two of you around and pushing you roughly into the bed behind you. "I'm gonna fuck you so hard that you forget Izzy ever existed."

You couldn't find your voice, letting out a small whine as you pushed yourself back, making room for Slash to crawl onto the bed with you, but he only stood at the edge of the bed.

"Tell me if you don't want this now, because I'm not gonna stop once I start."

You nodded quickly in response to his words, and he landed a firm slap across your cheek. "Use your words, whore."

You turned your head to look back up at him, bringing your own hand up to the forming red mark on your face, feeling the warmth radiating off of it. Your eyes were watering, but you couldn't deny the pulsing ache between your legs. "Please, Slash, I want it."

"Such a dirty fuckin' slut." Slash huffed, his hands coming down to unbutton his jeans. He slid them down his muscular thighs, already starting to palm himself through his boxers. "Gonna suck my cock? Show me how much you want it?"

You crawled closer, and slash gripped the back of your head by your hair, pulling your mouth directly onto his clothed bulge. You let your lips glide over the print, looking up at him, a single tear falling down your cheek from the pain he was inflicting on you, but you couldn't even mind.

"Fuck, you're a little minx." He used his free hand to tug his boxers down, discarding them with his pants. His hardening cock was right in your face, and you brought your hand up to pump him gently.

He grabbed his dick and rubbed it against your lips, and you opened your mouth. He was quick to shove your head down onto his cock, already fucking your face at a rapid speed. You gagged around him, drool spilling from the corners of your mouth as you tried your hardest to breathe.

You watched as he threw his head back, and you brought your hand down to your clothed heat, rubbing yourself through your pants.

His hips were relentless, pistoning hard into your throat. You knew it was gonna be sore for a few days.

You were a bit worried about the rest of the guys in the living room, but their cheers and laughing and indistinct yelling just told you they weren't paying any mind to your missing presence.

You were caught off guard by the sudden feeling of Slash pushing your head all the way down his dick, and you lifted your hands up to dig your nails into his waist as he held you at the base of his cock.

Your nose was brushing against his happy trail, and you began to panick as you lost your breath. Slash pulled you off his cock by the back of your hair, throwing your head back as he leaned down to kiss you.

"Gonna make you mine, make you scream for me." He grabbed your hips as he leant over you, flipping you over and swiftly tugging your pants and underwear clear off your legs. You to let out a gasp when the cold air hit your leaking cunt.

"Oh shit, look at that... So fucking wet, just from sucking my dick? You really are a whore." He paused to pull his shirt over his head, tossing it aside. He leaned over your back, pressing his lips to your ear. "But you're my whore, aren't you?"

You couldn't even let out a whimper before he pushed himself into you, stilling as soon as he bottomed out inside of you. You let your arms give out, your front side falling into the comforter on the bed. Your sudden moan was muffled by the bed, but then he grabbed your hair from the base of your scalp, tugging your head back towards the ceiling. "My whore, aren't you?"

He repeated himself, and you sobbed loudly. "Y-Your whore, fuck." You muttered, scared that if you were too loud the other men would hear, and that was endless teasing you didn't want to endure.

Slash pulled his hips back, and you whined, pushing yourself back into him in a desperate attempt to fuck yourself on his cock. His hand raised, and before you could even think about what he was doing, a red handprint was forming on your ass.

You yelped, pushing your body forward as an attempt to get away from the sting, but with his grip on your hair, you couldn't move. "T-Theyre gonna hear, can't be loud, please--"

Slash cut you off with a hard thrust, and you let out a loud moan, mixed in with a choked scream. You couldn't contain it. His dick was so big that it hurt, and he was so deep inside of you that he was pushing painfully against your cervix.

Slash leaned down again, finally starting at a slow and rough pace. A bite was pressed against your still-clothed shoulder, and with the pinch, came the realization that you weren't gonna be able to be quiet. "Let's get this off." Slash pulled you flush against his chest, rocking back onto his knees. His hands rushed to lift your thin shirt over your head, not once missing a single thrust.

Once your shirt was discarded, he didn't waste any time in trailing his hand up between the valley of your breasts, coming to squeeze your throat roughly. "You're so fucking tight, squeezing me so hard."

You were lightheaded, eyes rolling back as your head fell onto his shoulder, mouth hung open. Your fingers dug into his hips, and your other hand coming behind you to tangle and tug on his hair. "You like feeling me so deep in your tummy? Right... There." He questioned, his hand pressing roughly against your lower abdomen, easily feeling himself through the flesh of your stomach. The applied pressure caused you to squeal, fighting to get off his cock, the pleasure becoming too much for your foggy little brain.

"Oh, that's it, isn't it? Right there?" His voice was so sweet and alluring that you almost melted into his rough grips. "Answer me, bitch." He grabbed a fistful of hair again, pulling your lips closer to his as he sloppily pressed his open mouth to the corner of your own mouth. You were too busy trying to escape the dizzying feeling of your orgasm approaching to even mumble a response.

You nodded, but he only slipped the hand in your hair to your open mouth, his middle and ring finger pushing past your lips and onto your tongue.

His fingers were salty, but tasted so good in your mouth. He shoved them back further, and you gagged quickly. You screamed loudly as your orgasm hit you like a freight train, thrashing around in Slash's hold. You balled your hands up into fists and started to beat against his hips, back arched as you desperately tried to escape the overstimulation.

"Hold the fuck... still." His words were cut up between thrusts and grunts as he fought to keep you held down, your pulsing walls sucking him in deeper than he already was as an attempt to drain his cock.

"Already cumming, baby? Such a pathetic little body, jus' can't take what I give you." He hummed, faking that sympathy that he knew you would soak up.

He snaked an arm around your waist, holding you down as he completely ruined you from below. Your cunt was already sore, and the tears spilling from your eyes had no end, similar to the moans leaving your throat and vibrating around his fingers. Drool coated your chin and chest, and the entirety of his hand, and he didn't even care.

"Look s'much better stuffed full of my cock than you do sitting next to Izzy." Slash shoved you forward again, but this time he placed his hands on the small of your back, pushing down roughly to keep your back arched as he continued his assault on your poor cunt.

"N-No more, can't take it-- Please, s'too much!" You yelped.

Another harsh slap came down onto your ass, and you wept loudly into the bedding. You were squeezing his cock so tight that his hips began to stutter, so his pace slowed and his thrusts got impossibly harder. The steel rings he wore on his fingers were making bright red welts on your ass with every smack he gave you, and you couldn't help but let out the crying and screaming, it hurt, but he didn't care.

With his balls slapping against your clit with each thrust, you came once more, bringing your arms back to try and push his hips away from you, but he only grabbed a hold of both of your wrists, using them to pull you back onto him. Your weeping and moaning finally died down, and you just let him use you, limp from the overstimulation.

You were so fucked out that you didn't even feel the hot cum coating your insides. Slash pulled out as he was cumming, the last little bit of his spunk landing over your red and abused lips.

He released your arms, letting you fall forward.

"My fucking pussy, isn't it?" He shoved your thighs up so your ass was back in the air, and his thumb came up to run through your slick folds, practically shoving his cum back inside of you. You jumped when his finger brushed against your clit, letting out a small whine.

"A-All yours, Slash." You mumbled, and he brought his face to the red wounds and marks on your ass, pressing gentle kisses to the welts and light specks of blood that had begun peeking through your skin, already bruising.

His kisses trailed right back to your cunt, and he didn't hesitate in sticking his tongue right out and into your heat, from your clit to your hole. He hollowed his cheeks when he found your clit, sucking with so much intensity it caused you to lean back into him, despite all that had went down mere minutes before.

He was eating your pussy so carefully and intricately, it was a stark contrast from his previous tone and actions.

It took you minutes of him sucking and licking your poor cunt to realize that he was eating his own cum out of you, and the pure thought had you whining yet again.

He'd groan into your pussy, the vibrations going straight to your clit. It didn't take much for you to cum yet again, so sensitive from your previous torturous orgasms, and you shoved your face down into the bedding once more as you whined, squirming away from Slash's face. He held your hips and pulled you back into him as you rode out your orgasm, finally pulling off of your cunt and gently shushing you as you turned over to meet his gaze.

You suddenly broke out into tears again and Slash crawled back onto the bed pulling you up into his arms. You couldn't form proper sentences, your words simply coming out jumbled and choppy.

"s'okay. I'm sorry, I know. It's gonna be okay." You clung to him for dear life, your sweaty, naked bodies pressing together as your threw your arms over your neck.

All he could make out from your sobs was small "I'm sorry"s, "thank you"s, and "so tired"s. He pressed a soft kiss to the top of your head as he gently rocked the two of you back and forth.

"Did so good f'me, sweetheart, I'm sorry." He cooed, but it was too late, you were already asleep in his arms. He sighed, resting his head on top of yours for just a few more minutes before slipping you under the blankets of Axl's bed, and following close right next to you, wrapping an arm over your waist.

He buried his face in your shoulder as his eyes closed, feeling just a little guilty for the way he treated you.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You woke up to the sound of banging, looking around to see slash tugging his boxers on, and you immediately felt a surge of shame run through your body when Slash unlocked and opened the door to an incredibly red and upset Axl.

"You're washing everything on that fucking bed. No, actually, you're buying me a whole new one."

And with that, you sunk back under the covers, not daring to make eye contact with the fiery redhead.

[littlerosetrove]

Full acknowledgement that this is a first initial reaction, and I am in my Feelings about it. I may change my mind on some of this later, as I’m allowed, but as it stands right now? …..Do these writers even like Eddie? A bit of hyperbole, but hear me out. 

What. Was the POINT. of Eddie cheating with a doppelgänger of his dead wife when, I’m sorry, but it amounted to nothing. Not for Eddie at least. I THOUGHT the point of this soap opera stuff was that Eddie was going to start learning and healing from his trauma surrounding Shannon, but after this episode? That’s not what we got, not that I could tell. Honestly, I feel like Eddie is in the same place with his issues with Shannon if not potentially worse. Like jfc will these writers not allow Eddie, after five years, to move on from Shannon in any way? 

This is TV land, not reality. Things will not play out as they do in the real world. As a viewer this is super frustrating to see this issue be dragged out for five seasons, and what will now be beyond that. I’m sorry, but I’m So Tired of Shannon and Eddie being perpetually on this hamster wheel with her. Unless I’m sorely mistaken, but Eddie has learned nothing and dealt with nothing when it comes to Shannon, and now this show is going to drag it out into a SIXTH season of this particular issue.

The ONLY thing we got from the doppelgänger stuff was a traumatized Chris who, frankly, while he’s allowed to be upset, didn’t talk about WHY he’s even upset, not really. He at the very least said to Buck that he thought his mom was back, but she wasn’t. That’s something, but even that was not relayed to Eddie from Buck. 

So Chris is mad and called his grandparents and is going to stay with them indefinitely??? The writers had No One really communicating when it came to Chris, Eddie, his parents, or even Buck. There was some acknowledgment that Chris needs space, but idk…. Right now this feels like drama for drama's sake. I could have understood Chris wanting space for the summer, but there being no timeline to this??? That’s just unnecessarily cruel to Eddie. 

Bringing Eddie’s parents into this. I’ve seen people say “but Eddie has worked on rebuilding things with his parents, and now it’s all regressing.” That’s only partly true. Eddie has never started to work on his issues with his mom. He only worked on rebuilding something with his dad in season 5. There has been zero work to reconcile with his mom. So Helena was in character for being perfectly fine (happy) to take Chris. She may have not meant it cruelly, but her saying “if Chris forgets anything we’ll buy it for him or replace it” was mean. To me anyway.

The two good things for Eddie this season have been his new friendship with Tommy, and a consistent and strong relationship/friendship with Buck. Other that that this season has just: → made Eddie feel like he’s perpetually failing as a father → Eddie has been given no real closure or growth when it comes to Shannon, not that I could tell → continual mother issues, because Helena was happy to take Chris away from Eddie for an undisclosed amount of time

To break it all down even further, this season gave Eddie a relationship with a woman that, let’s be so for real, was pointless. Marisol was never a character. Eddie may at the very beginning gone into this relationship looking for the “magic” he had with Shannon, but that fizzled real fucking quick. There was nothing to this relationship. More than once Eddie “joked” about breaking up with Marisol, and he clearly showed disinterest in her early on. Then she was kept around to In The Background be cheated on. To tie it up the nothing burger of a relationship, there was a less than 10 second mention of an off screen breakup. Marisol had no weight in all this. Was the point of Marisol to show Chris, again, that “people don’t stick around”? Chris’s commitment issues come from his mom. Perhaps Ana leaving didn’t help matters (although we never got any insight into what Chris felt about that), but so what. We needed a third woman to leave to just compound Chris’s abandonment/commitment issues?? Nah. Just like Buck’s abandonment issues always come back to his parents, so do Chris’s (his mom). That’s the root of the issue, which means that Chris needs to go to therapy about it and Talk to his dad (although Eddie needs a ton of his own therapy first, since Eddie has Still not dealt with his Shannon issues). 

We got Chris in 7x1 maybe starting to work through his issues with his mom. Then we jump to the last episode where now Chris is angry and traumatized at seeing a clone of his mom…. For what purpose? Really. Eddie doesn’t seem to have gotten anything remotely positive out of the doppelgänger stuff, and clearly neither has Chris. So… So what was the point? To just create a rift between Eddie and Chris? To make Chris not trust his dad? Idk, pick a different method, ‘cause this was not it for me. 

When it comes to Eddie the only thing that the mess of the doppelgänger stuff has, apparently, taught Eddie is that when he does anything for himself, it will hurt Chris. Eddie, as far as I can tell, didn’t really get any kind of closure when it comes to Shannon, not based on this episode (7x10). No, instead we just have the recurring theme of Eddie feeling like he’s a failure of a father, and that all he does is hurt Chris. That’s what we’ve been given is Eddie feeling really fucking low, feeling like all his worst fears about himself are true, and now his son is gone for an indefinite amount of time. 

Eddie is left miserable, and for what? Well it damn well better be to build him back up in season 8. I know this is a drama, but come on.  Season 8 better give Eddie the time and respect he deserves. He has so many unresolved issues to work on and work through. - His issues with Shannon because apparently this show is still not fucking done with it. At this point I may accept season 8 starting with Eddie saying he went to therapy (off screen) and has worked through his Shannon issues just so that can be finally put to rest. - Eddie’s massive self worth issues especially when it comes to him being a father. His constant thought - compounded by his mom who has only ever seen Eddie as a failure - that he’s failing as a dad. - Eddie and his mom issues. Will those ever be addressed? - Eddie and Chris will need to rebuild a bridge together and heal. - Eddie is having an identity crisis because he does not even know what he wants (brought up in 7x9). He’s never been given the time or space to think about who he, just Eddie, even is. - Here’s to hoping this show sticks with the hints they’ve given, and that is Eddie going on his own queer journey. It clearly won’t be as smooth sailing as Buck because nothing is ever easy for Eddie.

EDIT: Some will miss this because it's been reblogged, but in short? Um. Eddie had no growth this season... Superb.

[atryoshka]

Frenchie and Izzy getting together would be genius and tbh I can't unsee it now

Love that Izzy and Frenchie actually have a lot in common on a deeper level that wasn't really apparent to me until s2 when we see how they deal with trauma in equal but opposite ways. We have Frenchie with his little box that allows him to straight up ignore the dark shit he's been through like it doesn't exist, happily eat some blood cake, and thinking that his death being given a clear deadline is a comfort. Then we have Izzy trying to stone face his way through having his body parts severed, just business as usual bc that's the pirate life and it won't change even though he's visibly holding back tears, and then accusing the crew of being too cowardly to kill him, actively inviting death bc he doesn't get why any of it even matters so keeping him alive is pointless.

What's interesting is that given the right circumstances, they could easily trade places, with Izzy being more lighthearted and Frenchie falling apart at the seams.

We've already seen signs of this with Izzy being much more chilled out after the crew made him the new unicorn, finding something in this terrible life that make him see them, and himself, in a more positive light. Like yeah, life is still filled with unimaginable horror, but now has a custom gold painted unicorn leg to trudge through it with, which is absolutely absurd but now he can't help but smile. So he decided his life is so unserious right now and you know what? A shark took his leg, end of story, here's a little wooden shark I made today just for fun lol. Frenchie on the other hand is still pretty relaxed despite everything that's happened so far, but I have a feeling that he was probably very similar to izzy in the past before he joined the crew of The Revenge. His past is pretty mysterious even with the little tidbits we get like him being in the service for bit. It doesn't sound like he was doing it for too long so the other things in his life that he doesn't talk about remain unknown, probably even to himself. The box exists so he can pretend any trauma he experiences doesn't even exist, unlike a fiction which still somewhat acknowledges that there was something that happened to him in a way he could accept. The truth is, he actually never moved on bc all the parts of his life that he's ignoring are still lurking inside him waiting to break out at anytime. I think when something accidentally triggers a memory he suppressed, we'll see a different side to him. Less chill, more shrewd survivalist, like when he and the others reunited with the revenge crew after being stranded at sea. He bounced back pretty fast after they got past the pinnata and cake standoff but it was interesting to see how ready he was to be violent and how untrusting he was of everyone's intentions in that context. He'd usually be much more chill and willing to fast talk his way out of a situation, even when he knows someone has bad intentions. (There's also probably something with religious trauma he's hiding but that's a whole other can of worms I won't get into. All I'll say is that combined with his very strong beliefs of the supernatural and grudging flippant way he does the cross symbol on himself when others do it, when they boarded the cursed ship, he was that only one to not step in the satanic circle before anyone even questioned what the strange lines even were. Did he immediately recognize it and consciously avoid it or was it gut reaction? Idk, but he sure as hell didn't speak up about it and just wearily watched the other step into it and draw their own conclusions. ) But getting back on track Honestly, their dynamic would be really interesting to explore in the show bc they could understand and care about each other in ways that would probably surprise them if given the opportunity to spend more time together on screen. tl;dr: All this to say that I fell down the rabbit hole after realizing that they are basically this meme, which has a lot of potential for so many hilarious and accidentally heartbreaking moments

[inu-jiru]

Jazz's "Apology Tour" ramble

Episode was trash, let's go.

First off, the whole "Fuck Blitzo" party is so stupid to me, like you're telling me this 30-something year old man had intimate relationships with ALL these demons and HE was the sole thing that ruined ALL of them?

And how did Verosika even find out about Stolas? Like I know Ozzie's happened, but how'd she hear about their "breakup" (they weren't together but whatever, show)?

Why the FUCK does Verosika care about Stolas being an uwu sad victim of mean old Blitzo aside from everyone being written to want to huff Stolas' sad boi farts?

Why is no one trying to kill Stolas like in Loo Loo Land, like suddenly we're just cool with the oppressive racist now (who am I kidding, the rank system doesn't exist anymore unless the "meanie supremacist" characters bring it up I guess)?

Don't think I'm trying to be "Blitzo's#1Bitch69" or anything, but Season 2 is just so gross in how they've written him. Either he's the big bully meanie for hating his abuser, or they've had him commit the most out of pocket atrocities (like possibly SAing Stolas since he was technically drunk or the circus incident or the shit he pulled with Verosika because what the fuck kinda trauma makes you steal someone credit card for horse riding lessons???) that they just gloss over because fuck having Blitzo actually progress normally or Stolas taking actual responsibility for his own actions, let's just speed through everything so it's back to Stolitz City, don't think about the implications. I just can't stand itttt, I still like and pity Blitz to an extent but his writing is killing meeee

Stolas, stop whimpering about being wanted YOU HAVE A KID WHO HAS STILL NOT APPEARED SINCE SEEING STARS WHERE IS SHE?

Am I really hearing that people are hating the dude flirting with Stolas like come on yall STOLITZ IS NOT OFFICIAL YET CHILL

I've honestly started skipping through episodes, like I can't fucking listen to "WAHHHHH BLITZO I WANT YOU TO WANT ME" for the millionth time, I wish this episode could've just been Blitzo and Verosika facing their issues or something I just don't wanna see this owl loser act like a victim anymoreeee

Man really said "when have I ever been condescending?" SEASON ONE???? How about every time you grab his face and call him out of his name and watch him be shot at while demanding he come over one a month? Oh, but when Blitz starts doing it back it's "Oh I'm uncomfortable ooOoOoo stop it Blitz hnnghhh I don't like it :C :C :C", like whatever man.

The Striker comment was dumb and wrong but that's because Stolas is dumb and wrong

Honestly I feel like I'm repeating the same points I and others have made in the past so all imma say is, I hope Octavia and Stella are enjoying their off-screen and better written adventures together. I'm gonna draw some AU stuff now to give my eyes something better to look at.

OH I forgot to talk about Verosika, uh, she was there? I honestly think she should just get over herself at this point, idk when she and Blitz broke up but what the fuck is it about this clown that she was so enamored over where she's this hurt? I can get being mad about her credit card and Blitz being a lazy partner but if that's the case, I fail to see how they got to a point where she got his name tatted on her arm. Idk it's weird

The Mayweather shit or whatever her name is was pointless and made no sense, like "I want you to kill this woman who made me attempt to kill her and myself but now we're dating" like? Hey Vivzie if yall can callback to that why can't yall call back to Stolas being a creep huh?

EDIT: They really made that fuckass "it's hell" excuse canon, huh? Like, it doesn't even make sense in the context of Blitz saying that, like people say "it's hell" because Biblically speaking, it's where those who truly oppose God in order to live a life of wickedness go as just punishment. Blitz the equivalent of a regular guy in Hell unlike the Hazbin characters, he shouldn't understand that there's a better alternative to Hell because he's not human and never had any opportunity to learn about Heaven or God (unless it's just in their DNA or something idk who knows with this show)

[ckret2]

I was going to just reply to this post, https://www.tumblr.com/ckret2/760386247709622272/chapter-updated-and-crossposted-to-ao3-this-one, but then my message got so long and I got kind of heated about what I was saying so I decided to just make it an ask. I’m talking about what you were mentioning in the post, about how people apparently didn’t understand Bill doesn’t just not understand human hygiene.

I understood it the first time. I thought it was very obvious, actually. I don’t know why other people apparently didn’t. I can’t see how it could possibly give anyone the impression that he doesn’t get hygiene when he literally uses the fact that he gets hygiene against his captors so clearly because how else would he be able to even know that he could rub the grossness in their face? To make himself feel better about how he’s a prisoner and also kind of has no choice?

Unless they genuinely forgot because of… I think it might be a kind of be a result of societal ableism— a problem with ableism and how it’s influenced trends in fandom. I’ve been in a lot of fandoms where I noticed that people do this a lot with any characters with a certain kind of neurodivergent air— characters I often related to— who act how they want and generally don’t care about social standards or being “normal.”

An annoying portion of the fandom just starts treating them like they don’t know any better instead of knowing and not caring, and start talking about them like they’re dumb in a way that kinda reminds me of how I’ve been treated as an autistic person, whenever I thought any social rule or norm was pointless. Like people would just keep explaining to me that it existed no matter how often I clearly expressed that I knew it existed, I just didn’t see a reason to care. Other kids who acted neurodivergent got this too, no matter how obvious they made it that they just didn’t care.

I mostly got this as a girl who didn’t act “girly”— or ashamed of myself— for being not feminine enough or tomboyish enough. Teachers and parents and even a lot of classmates who just kept trying to “correct me when they realized I basically wasn’t “properly” ashamed. They talked around it, but autistic people are not dumb, and their underlying logic was almost always just that. With adults they genuinely seemed to think they were helping me, and just refused to get it, but classmates would get more patronizing after a while. Idk but- anyway…

I’ve started to identify and dread when people might do this to any character I related to in a certain way who chose not to care about social norms. And there was definitely something awfully familiar about the way people seemed to begin to think about them after a while. Especially if there hadn’t been any new episodes with that character or something for a while, they’d just start to remember them as stupider as their minds fell into certain patterns.

And people who do this to the characters, start talking about them like they’re canonically dumb and start almost infantilizing them in fanworks. I remember this one character I really related to, where people started writing fanfics and shipping them with this other character who was kind of a bully in canon, “teaching” them how to act more normal and treating them like a child, and this awful dynamic became The Most Popular Ship for that character. It was disgusting.

And then other people start to get the idea that this is canonical, when it’s entirely fandom based canon that shouldn’t even be fancanon and only exists because of ableism in the first place. But it spreads because people see this group of the fandom talking about it and, especially newcomers, just start to assume this is normal, this is what canon looks like. That’s where the fanworks featuring this come from.

And Bill is one of these characters. I can’t put it into words but he does share that certain ADHD ish quality that I relate to as a neurodivergent person and that makes me worry people will twist him into the Stupid Boy Don’t Know Anything Normal set mold too. Anyway, I’m pretty sure this bs is the reason for any “misunderstandings” like this about Bill.

I think in this case it might have just been mostly people treating Bill like he’s dumb as they forgot after a while of reading the chapter and started thinking of him… the way they think of characters (and people) with adhd or some other form of neurodivergence who don’t fit in, automatically, w/o realizing. And they started building it worse off each other. And then newcomers came in and saw how they were talking about Bill and started unconsciously reflecting it. It wasn’t in anything to do with your writing.

And I’m sorry you had to deal with it, too. I hope you didn’t have to cut down or dumb down your story, or… not too much, because of it. You shouldn’t have to bring down your work because you’re afraid an audience won’t understand. In this case, I really think it’s more because of a fandom trend and a societal problem than you actually being bad at writing Bill in any way. You shouldn’t have to dumb down the story to make it more obvious for this. And it wasn’t your fault in any way I can think of. But yeah.

I was trying to delicately avoid flinging accusations right at my own readers, especially since there's no way to know what any one given particular reader is bringing into a story—but honestly I've assumed all along it's either ableism, racism, or fatphobia, three issues that predispose people to see the affected person/character as both "stupid" and "dirty" and all of which apply either to Bill or to his human body.

I can't cure ableism, racism, or fatphobia in a fanfic. But I can make it harder for people to default to Ignorant Dirty Gremlin Child stereotypes. And I want to make it harder, because I'd like people to understand my work on the terms I intended to present it. An author's job is to communicate their ideas in words that accurately convey those ideas to the reader, and if a lot of readers don't get it, it's first and foremost the author's duty to see if there's anything else they can do to couch their ideas in language readers will get.

Anything beyond that is out of my hands. I've now done my level best with chapter 8.

[ninyard]

I really like the way you portray Nicky in your Twitter AU! I feel like there isn't much discussion of him in general and when there is it can be a little wonky because he is sometimes a controversial character in the text. I always appreciate your thoughts on these kinds of things so I thought I would ask! What are your general thoughts toward him that go into the way you have him in your AU?

Oh!! What a good question!!!

Nicky. Nicky, Nicky, Nicky. I think that he has a bad rep in the fandom and like I GET it. I do. Regardless these are some things I personally believe to be true about him:

- He’s a people pleaser. Sometimes to the point of manipulation, but all he craves in life is to be liked, and accepted, and he will do ANYTHING for anyone if it means he’s their friend.

- He’s a chatterbox, the life of the party, but he’s got to be overcompensating for something. I think Nicky is deeply, severely insecure and self conscious and the best way he knows how to mask that is by being this larger than life personality. He seems like this stuck up I-Love-Myself kind of person, but the reality is, is that it’s a front for the fact that he just wants to be loved.

- He is physically incapable of thinking before he speaks 90% of the time. He hates it about himself, but the words are out of his mouth before he has time to stop them. His loud-mouth gets him in trouble more often than not.

- All he wants in life is to make people laugh. Like, he can be a dick sometimes, and he can be very spiteful when he wants to be, but other than Neil, Nicky is the first monster to make an effort to connect with the Upperclassmen. He needs that connection to thrive.

Idk I had a whole thing in my head to write about him but I’m stuck for words at the minute. I guess I just find Nicky hard to talk about sometimes because I know how divisive the Eden’s incident is among the fandom. Even now I’m thinking about it and having one opinion before my brain chimes in from the other side of the argument and makes a better point in favour of the other side. I don’t KNOW.

(It’s kind of funny that it’s perceived that Nicky is a difficult character to embody but honestly I have a way harder time with Renee and I really don’t know why. I have a pretty solid idea of who Nicky is to me but genuinely I struggle a bit sometimes with Renee. I don’t think I’ve done her character justice anywhere at ALL so I’m still working on that one.)

((Pinterest also helps, in my opinion. I don’t know if people still use it the way that we use to, but I still save inspo to my fox boards that help me with their characters. Here’s some super pointless things I have on my Nicky board that you didn’t ask for at all:))

[randxmthxughts]

Unrequited - Chapter 2 - Tsu'tey x Omatikaya!Reader

prologue | chapter 1

summary: on one particular night, y/n offers tsu'tey intimacy with no expectations in return, which sparks up a complex relationship between them. they grapple with guilt, unrequited love, and newfound intimacy, as y/n and tsu'tey navigate the depths of their feelings for each other

wc: 5.6k

contains: one-sided love, angst, smut, friends with benefits (ig), smut in this chapter!

a/n: a bit bummed out bc the last chapter did not receive as big of a response as i was expecting, and i'm not sure if it's bc of the time zones or bc it wasn't good enough, idk. but at this point, i'm basically continuing the series for myself, bc i'm excited for the direction i'll be taking with it. however, if you do enjoy the series, please show some love, it really does encourage me to write ♡

unrequited masterlist | general masterlist

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Tsu'tey's gaze fixated on you as you swayed in a circle of healers, performing a traditional mourning dance around the Mother Tree. The rest of the clan knelt around you, their arms linked in solidarity as they prayed to Eywa for the souls lost in battle. But instead of focusing on the prayer, Tsu'tey couldn't help but watch you, intrigued by how in sync you seemed with Mo'at and the rest of the healers. He had never seen this side of you. Frankly, he hadn't seen many sides of you, having treated you like any other member of the clan. Now, knowing that you had feelings for him, something started to shift in his brain.

Of course, you weren't the first to fall for the brave warrior, and Tsu'tey was well aware of the effect he had on other women. It never piqued his interest though, after all, everyone knew of his bond with Silwanin, and respected them as the future clan leaders. There was a brief period of time after Silwanin's passing when some women attempted to win his affection, but he quickly turned them down, knowing that his fate was to mate with Neytiri. 

But the battle shook things up. Neytiri stepped out of her position as the tsakarem and chose Jake as her mate, who had become the Toruk Makto and finally earned the respect of the people. And although Tsu’tey was now supposed to lead his people as the new Olo'eyktan, he felt like his role in the clan had been shifted. Things were changing, and Tsu'tey felt the need to prove himself to be a worthy leader, so spending time with a girl whom he didn't love seemed pointless.

"Did Y/N do something?" Takuk whispered, bringing Tsu'tey back to the present.

"Hm? No, I was just looking," Tsu'tey cleared his throat, ashamed to have been caught. 

"I know, I know," Takuk shook his head with a knowing smile, "She looks great. The guys have been talking about how much she changed lately."

"What?" Tsu'tey turned to him with a frown, "Why were they even discussing her?"

"Because she's been healing some of them," Takuk frowned too, unsure of Tsu'tey's confusion. "Didn't you know? Look, she helped me too."

Takuk pointed to his middle, leaves arranged carefully around a wound just below his ribcage. Tsu'tey observed it for a moment, realizing that the handiwork was similar to his bandaged arm. Mo'at did it differently, using less leaves, but your touch was unmistakable. Tsu'tey felt a twinge of envy, but he shook it off, refocusing on the prayer. He had no room for distractions, not when he had a whole clan to lead and protect.

Tsu’tey had always known he was destined to lead, but now, as the Olo'eyktan, the weight of his responsibilities weighed heavily upon him. It was quick, the way he stepped into the role, ordering repairs, disciplining warriors, and protecting families. People now gave him space, whenever he walked through the crowd, and deep bows of respect; even his friends who once rarely shied away from teasing him, were now more cautious of the things they said around him. But Tsu'tey couldn't help but notice how the air shifted whenever Jake was around too. As Toruk Makto, Jake had risen in the eye of the clan and earned his place. And despite considering Jake his brother, deep down Tsu'tey couldn't shake off the feeling that Jake had everything he was supposed to have, except the title. His family was feeding into this insecurity by harboring personal grudge against Jake, telling Tsu'tey that the demon had stolen Neytiri and left Tsu'tey to be a lone leader. That without a mate, he looked weak. 

As the ceremony ended, Tsu'tey quickly made his way back to the Home Tree, his thoughts consumed by the recent changes in his life. He knew that he needed to focus on his duties as a leader, but he couldn't help the sense of longing for the life he could have had with Silwanin. His world had shifted, and he wasn't sure where he fit in anymore.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Tsu'tey spent the next few nights tossing and turning, unable to sleep. He was going crazy over the plans for the village, as he worked tirelessly to prepare for the changes and recovery that lay ahead. With fewer wounded to tend to, he would now need more hands on deck, supporting his decisions. But what was bothering him more this particular night was the conversation with Mo'at in the healing hut, which had forced him to confront his future.

"Neytiri is now mated with the Toruk Makto," she shot him a meaningful gaze, unwrapping his bandaged arm, "She can no longer continue the legacy of Tsahik. You must choose another woman."

Tsu'tey only shook his head, a pained expression etched on his face. It was not the right time to think about another woman. Any woman. Tsu'tey did not wish to be forced into another bond that could be easily broken. He could never love anyone else but Silwanin, and losing Neytiri to Jake was proof of that. He felt embarrassed to become the chief without a mate, but he'd rather be embarrassed than make anybody else unhappy.

"Preparing another tsakarem will take time. You must choose quickly," Mo'at warned him, "And choose wisely."

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

The first rays of sunlight were barely peeking through the Home Tree, when Tsu'tey climbed out of it. He trudged directionless, his mind weighing down by the recent hostility he had faced from his own parents. He had never expected to defend Jake, but they were brothers now, and Tsu'tey refused to be consumed by anger anymore. Tsu'tey's parents demanded that he punish Jake, and it sparked an insecurity in him that he never thought he had.

As he wandered through the outskirts of the forest, Tsu'tey stumbled upon you, for the first time in a few days since the ceremony, picking herbs. You were just as taken aback to see him, having expected him to be busy with his newfound duties as the chief. Tsu'tey cringed when you bowed to him deeper than usual, a gesture that reminded him of his position and only seemed to isolate him further.

"What are you doing here?" Tsu'tey asked, his voice raspy, almost accusatory.

"Gathering some aemies for the numbing paste," you answered, standing up, "Why are you here?"

"Wanted to clear my head," he admitted, catching you off guard.

"Do you need help with that?"

Tsu'tey quirked his eyebrow at you, but he didn't budge when you took a step towards him. His gaze drifted off to the basket of herbs, tucked under the roots of a nearby tree. He had no idea how much you were going out of your way to help the other healers. He wondered how long you were there for? He tried to remember anything about your life or your interests, but soon realized that he knew nothing about you. Of course, he had known your whole family, he knew that your older siblings were already with their mates and children. But he had never bothered to learn about your hobbies. Frankly, he knew as much about you as he did about any other clan member from afar. Was it a lapse on his part as an Olo'eyktan, or was it simply that he had never really seen you?

As you neared him, your hands brushed hesitantly against his waist. His left arm was now free of the bandage, and you assumed that Mo'at confirmed the healing of his bone. Still, you decided to be careful with him. Tsu'tey let out a long sigh, his gaze shifting to yours

"Why haven't you chosen a mate yet? You had your ceremony," he suddenly questioned you, catching you off guard.

You pulled away, dropping your hands from him with a scared look. Was it the nearing ending to your secret with Tsu'tey? Did he already promise someone to become his future mate? You were aware that he couldn't be a lone chief for a long time, that soon enough somebody will have to step up for Neytiri but it was a scary thought that you pushed as far as you could.

"You know why," you answered, earning his disapproving look.

"Y/N, I already told you -" he began to repeat himself, but you shook your head, interrupting him.

"And I already told you. I cannot force the ways of my heart. It feels what it feels."

"I cannot force my heart either, you know that."

"I know," you muttered.

Accepting that was easy, at least from afar, when you only watched him. But now having a taste of him, an illusion of maybe him loving you back, was bittersweet. You wished he would just stop telling you he didn't love you every time you talked.

"You’re a hypocrite," you challenged him, "Why are you asking about me having no mate when you don't have one yourself? You're the chief now. Pretty sure it's frowned upon to be a chief without a mate."

"Do not speak on matters that should not concern you," he gritted through his teeth.

"So you can ask me, but I cannot ask you the same?" you suddenly felt irritated with him.

"You are crossing a line," Tsu'tey took a step towards you in a warning, but you didn't budge, "I am the chief now. The concerns of my people are my concerns. You are now my concern."

You gulped down nervously, looking up at him from underneath your lashes. Tsu'tey was frustrated with you. You've seen this look on his face many times in your life, but it was never directed at you. Your voice caught up in your throat, as you realized how attractive he looked looming over you with a snarl.

"What are you -" you tried but the words left your mouth the second he covered it with his.

Tsu'tey wasn't sure why he kissed you, but it was becoming a familiar thing. It could have been out of his frustration with your stubbornness, or the fact that you were the only person who could distract him from the heavy weight on his mind. He felt like he was digging a deeper grave for the both of you, pushing himself into an endless cycle of lust, but it felt too good to pull away. It felt heavenly to be loved by someone who accepted him despite everything he hated about himself.

Your mind was already clouded, lost in the sensations of Tsu'tey's touch, when his arm snaked around you. You pulled him in by his neck, and as you bit down on his bottom lip, something tugged in the back of his brain. Tsu'tey pushed you against a tree, the rough bark painfully scratching your back and loosening the ties of your top. But you didn’t care, not as long as you felt his hands on you, his lips leaving wet kisses on your skin.

The loud sound of a broken twig shattered the trance, and Tsu'tey quickly put some space between you, looking into the trees for the source. You caught a glimpse of two hunters passing in the distance, completely oblivious to your presence, since you were hidden from their sight. Still, you felt uneasy thinking they could have caught you. 

"Do you think they saw us?" you asked, worry creeping into your voice.

"No, they seem unbothered," Tsu'tey let out a relieved chuckle, the sound ringing out like music to your ears. "I'll come by to check on you later today, alright?"

You nodded, stunned by his ease of manner. Was that a promise? Tsu'tey bowed politely before retreating, leaving you alone with your thoughts. A thrill coursed through you at the idea of Tsu'tey making plans with you. No talks of guilt anymore, just the two of you.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

But as the day wore on and the evening approached, the lump in your throat seemed to swell to an almost unbearable size. Perhaps Tsu'tey had forgotten his promise; after all, he had plenty of duties to attend to. Or worse, maybe it was a deliberate attempt to hurt you and push you away. Tsu'tey had countless opportunities to catch you alone throughout the day, yet he hadn't made any effort to make an appearance. With each passing moment, your conviction grew stronger that he had no intention of keeping his word.

You let out a long sigh, as you peeled away the bandage from Takuk's middle. He had sought you out earlier in the day, asking to check on his wound after the training. Of course, you agreed without hesitation. So, as the sun began to set, you found Takuk not too far from the training camp and sat down to examine the wound that you had previously tended to with your own hands several days ago.

"Well, what's the verdict?" Takuk grinned at you, as your eyes surveyed his abdomen.

Though his skin still looked pale, the wound was perfectly closed off, leaving only a small red scar in its place. You removed the rest of the bandage.

"You do not need this anymore," you explained, earning a satisfied groan from him.

"I've been waiting to hear those words for days now," he expressed, and you couldn't help but smile at his reaction.

"What words?" Tsu'tey's serious voice cut in.

You turned to see him leaning against the tree, arms crossed on his chest with a curious gaze flickering between you and Takuk. You shifted uncomfortably when his eyes landed on you, and turned your attention back to Takuk instead. Tsu'tey frowned.

"That I don't need the stupid bandage anymore," Takuk explained, gesturing at you, "Y/N here managed to heal me in a matter of days. I feel as good as a newborn baby!"

You let out a chuckle at the joke, which warmed Takuk's heart. He looked at you adoringly, clearly having formed some sort of attachment to you. To Tsu'tey his intentions were more than clear. 

"You fight like a baby, too," Tsu'tey retorted, feeling the need to establish a dynamic in front of you.

Takuk laughed heartily, but you felt a twinge of anger at Tsu'tey's behavior. He acted nonchalantly and now was joking about his subordinates in front of you? Rising to your feet, you ignored him and turned to Takuk.

"Be careful not to open up the wound again, alright?"

Takuk nodded eagerly, rising to his feet too. He was planning to walk back to the Home Tree with you, and Tsu'tey quickly picked up on it. The second the two of you bowed to him to leave, he caught you by your wrist. Takuk stared back at you confused.

"Go ahead, Takuk, Y/N and I have to discuss something," Tsu'tey said, still keeping his hand around yours.

Takuk was taken aback for a moment by Tsu'tey's sudden command, but he didn't argue and sprinted back into the forest. Once he was out of your sight, you wiggled your hand free from Tsu'tey's grasp, and brushed past him with an annoyed huff.

"I'll walk you back," Tsu'tey said loudly.

"I can walk on my own," you snarled, walking ahead of him, desperately trying to put a distance between the two of you.

"Slow down for a second," he commanded, "This is an order from your Olo'eyktan."

You huffed again, before turning around to face him. Tsu'tey stared back at you with an expectant look.

"What?"

"Why are you angry at me?" he asked.

You rolled your eyes at him before turning away again and continuing to walk. An annoyed growl vibrated through Tsu'tey's chest. He easily caught up to you and grabbed your wrist again to make you stop near the training hut. He could feel his frustration growing as you continued to ignore him.

"What is the matter?"

It was a matter of desperation to get away from his piercing eyes, to stop having to put up this angry act with him when in reality you were extremely heartbroken. Seeing him act as if nothing happened made you feel foolish. If he hadn't accidentally run into you, would he have bothered to check on you at all? The thought stung.

"I waited for you," you said, looking up at Tsu'tey with a mix of frustration and hurt. You pulled your hand away from his grasp.

"I am here, aren't I?"

"Not because you were looking for me. Am I wrong?"

Tsu'tey frowned at the truth you voiced. He had stumbled upon you by accident, not expecting to find you near the training camp at that hour.

"You are not wrong," he raised his palms in the air as a sign of defeat, "But I've got a lot on my plate right now. Let's just talk about it."

"What is there to talk about, Tsu'tey? You didn't show up, end of story."

Tsu'tey felt a pang of guilt in his chest, knowing that he deserved your harshness. As he went about his duties as Olo'eyktan, the weight of reality settled upon him, reminding him that there was no way for you to fit into his new life. But the promise he had made to you hung over him, and he couldn't bring himself to follow through with it. He had hoped that if he didn't show up, you would get angry and give him up. But fate had other plans when he ran into you with Takuk, and seeing you laugh with his trainee made him feel uneasy.

"Well, what do you want from me?" he asked defensively. You shook your head in disbelief.

"I don't want anything from you that you can't give me. I made it clear that I don't care if you hurt me, as long as you're honest with me," your eyes glistened with a threat of tears, "But whatever you did, not showing your face for days, then making me wait for you, knowing well that you didn't want to come... I felt stupid. That was cruel.”

"I didn't mean to," he shook his head.

"I think you did," you bit back, your voice laced with venom.

The lump in your throat was on the verge of suffocating you, and you hastily wiped away your tears, turning your head from him. Oh, how much you feared to show him this vulnerable side of you, to earn his pity. Tsu'tey's fingers gently grabbed your chin, turning your face back to him. 

"Stop it," he ordered, when you tried to turn away from him.

"Let go of me and go back to your duties. You have a lot on your plate now, don't you, chief?" you snapped.

"I do, yet I am here to speak to you," Tsu'tey replied calmly.

You rolled your eyes at him, and Tsu'tey hated it. It was a direct dismissal of his words.

"I already told you that there's nothing else to talk about. I do not need your pity, Tsu'tey. Either we do this before one of us gets forced into a loveless bond, or we put an end to it now. If you do not wish for the kind of comfort I offer to you, if you find me disgusting for giving myself to you, then just tell me. Break my heart now, and I will never force your hand again. But don’t make me wait around for you and feel foolish. Hell, I can even leave the clan and never return again, if you wish me to, just don't toy with me -"

Tsu'tey couldn't bear the tension any longer as you rambled on, pouring out all the thoughts that had been nagging at you throughout the day. It hurt him to hear those words because the truth always hurts. Oh Eywa, how much he wished to shut you up. Whenever did you even get the courage to talk to him that way? You were always gentle and shy around him. Now suddenly, you were challenging him not only as a man, but also as the Olo'eyktan. Threatening to leave the clan? 

There was something that slipped your lips, making his heart jump a little. Eventually, one of you would be forced into a bond you didn't want. Was it selfless to enjoy each other's intimacy before it ended?

He didn't hear the end of your sentence, when he kissed you. At first, you resisted, trying to stay angry at him, but soon gave in, your lips moving in sync with his in a passionate, frustrated kiss. When he finally pulled away, there was a glimpse of surprise in your eyes. You were at a loss of words.

"Let's do that," he breathed out through his lidded eyes.

"Do what?"

"What you said. Enjoy this," he answered slowly, "But we end it the moment you are courted by someone."

You snorted in disbelief, but Tsu'tey's expression remained genuine. Was he finally giving in with no guilt? No resistance?

"And you won't regret it?" you quirked his eyebrow at him.

"As long as I do not get in the way of your happiness with someone else."

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Tsu’tey sat on the ground inside the small training hut, his back pressed against the wall. You weren't sure how exactly the two of you found your way in, but before you knew it, you were seated in his lap, savoring the sweet sensation of his lips on yours. You placed another kiss on his lips before pulling away enough to see his piercing green eyes staring back at you with hunger. The tension between you was growing.

Tsu'tey was barely holding it together, lust dictating his every move, as he cupped your face and pulled you closer. A shiver ran down your spine, and you couldn't help but moan softly at the way he grazed his lips along your jaw. At that moment, Tsu'tey was no longer the Olo'eyktan with duties, and you were no longer the girl with unrequited feelings. You were just two people consumed by a fierce desire for each other.

Tsu'tey's hands found their way to the strings of your skimpy top, eventually untying it and letting it slide off you. His palms gently grazed and explored the softness of your breasts. Now that his healed arm was no longer restricting him, Tsu'tey anticipated the chance to fully utilize it to enjoy your body. He pulled his lips from yours and bent down to catch your left breast in his mouth, lightly biting down on the soft skin, then sucking and licking the spots that ached to ease the pain. You sighed at the mixture of pain and pleasure, as his fingers pinched your right nipple simultaneously.

A heated sensation spread through you, making your arch back for him, hips slowly rolling over Tsu'tey's thigh. Desperate for some friction, you pressed your clothed core against him harder, hands reaching for his shoulders for stability. Tsu'tey groaned in displeasure when you pushed his head away from your abused nipples and crashed your lips against his. The slow grinding became faster and aching, and the tangy feeling in your core started to grow. Tsu'tey thrusted his hips up in response, chuckling at the whimper you couldn't hold in.

Your mind was now too cloudy to cooperate with your body, and you stopped grinding against his thigh, giving yourself a moment to recompose. Which made him want to push you over the edge more. He thrusted up again, watching the way your mouth fell agape at the sensation. There was a pathetic attempt to form words, but you never really succeeded in getting them out. Tsu'tey's hands rested on your hips, pressing you down on his thigh and slowly guiding you back into the rhythm you followed before. You shut your eyes, your loincloth already soaked wet, making you glide smoother against his skin.

"You're so desperate, aren't you?" he cooed with a small smirk.

You felt yourself blushing at his words, and only nodded, dropping your head to hide in the crook of his neck. Your brain went foggy at his intoxicating scent. Tsu'tey only found your reaction amusing, continuing to slowly rock you back and forth. 

"I'll take care of you, hm?" he asked.

You hummed back desperately, pleading for more stimulation, as you felt something harden against your thigh. Glancing down, you noticed a noticeable bulge forming beneath Tsu'tey's loincloth.

"Let me make you feel good," you breathed.

Tsu'tey reached out and gently took hold of your neck, pulling you away from him so he could get a better look at your face. The expression he saw made him even more aroused. 

"We'll take it slow, syulang," he said softly, "You let me know if you don't like something, alright?"

You gave him a quick nod, opening your mouth to speak but having no will to form a coherent sentence. Tsu'tey's thumb traced the curve of your bottom lip, feeling a rush of heat coursing through him. He picked you up and moved you to the ground, laying you out in front of him. With half-lidded eyes, you watched him, your body eagerly anticipating his touch once again.

Before long, he positioned himself over you, his knee nestled between your parted legs. Tsu'tey's lips quickly met yours in a fiery kiss, as you pulled him into a tight embrace. His right hand returned to his favorite spot, kneading and caressing the soft skin of your breasts. He alternated between kissing your lips and chest, before finally stopping to suck on your nipples. Your breath hitched, your already swollen cunt aching painfully in need of attention.

"Take it off," Tsu’tey whispered, tugging at your cloth, as if reading your mind.

You rushed to untie the piece of fabric and yank it away from under you. Tsu'tey continued to kiss your breasts, as his fingers moved to your heat and glided through your already wet slick. He pressed his thumb to your bud, enjoying the way you jolted under his touch. He looked up at your face, as he began to draw small circles around your sensitive spot.

"Don't tease me," you grunted at his slow movements.

Tsu'tey shook his head in amusement, before lowering himself down. He gripped your left leg and rested it on his shoulder, leveling his face with your cunt. You whined loudly, when you suddenly felt his tongue on you, swirling around your swollen clit. The sensation was new, something you haven't felt, but before you could process it, Tsu'tey slid a digit into your hole. You squirmed under him, as he pumped his finger in and out of you, hitting a sweet spot inside that made your walls cave. Your whiny moans blended into a cry, when he loudly sucked on your bud, simultaneously curling his finger inside you.

Blood rushed through your veins at the overwhelming sensation. It seemed like you were too consumed by the ecstatic feeling to comprehend what was happening anymore, just wishing to savor it for as long as you could.

"Ahh," you panted, when Tsu'tey licked painfully alongside your slit. 

Enjoying the sounds you made, he continued to lick more eagerly, his tongue brushing all around and in between your folds, occasionally teasing your bud. His ears twitched, devouring every small sound and whimper that escaped your mouth with satisfaction, his member throbbing painfully.

Your pleasure was nearing, walls starting to clench around his finger, luring him in deeper. Fuck. He wished to feel you clench this way around his cock instead. Tsu'tey continued to thrust his finger into you with a steady pace, his eyes tracing every curve of your disheveled form, taking in the sight of you with admiration. He marveled at how beautiful you looked, with your slightly disheveled hair and sweat glistening on your forehead. You caught his gaze with your half-lidded, exhausted eyes, barely noticing his tail wagging behind him. He pulled his finger out, earning a dissatisfied groan from you at the loss.

If you weren't this hungry for him, you would have already scolded him for torturing you. But all you could do is tug at his shoulders to silently plead with him instead. Tsu'tey hastily brought himself back, resting on top of you, his hardened dick pulsing against you through the loincloth.

He kissed you desperately with such force, you could almost feel your lips bruise. You wrapped him in a tight embrace, scared that his touch might leave you again if you didn't. Tsu’tey couldn’t think anymore, his fingers fidgeting with the ties of his loincloth, before he finally freed his hard dick. He pulled away slightly to give himself enough space and guide his tip through your slit. He teased your entrance just enough to make you gasp, pushing the tip in and out a couple of times, coating it in your juices.

"Ahh," you whined, once he slowly pushed himself slightly deeper into you.

Tsu'tey gave you a second to adjust before starting to slowly glide in and out of you only halfway. He wanted you to take in the thickness of his length slowly, until you could get used to the feeling. He paused in between the thrusts to look for any signs of discomfort, but soon enough you rolled your hips instinctively, taking in his full length.

Tsu'tey barely held back from a release right at that second, your walls so tight around him. He was basically fitting into you to the hilt. He slowly picked up his pace, pounding into you, hitting that sweet spot that made your breath hitch. You clutched on to him, your tail wagging uncontrollably against the ground.

Everything about Tsu'tey seemed intoxicating, like he wasn't real. The way his musky scent surrounded you, and the taste of his lips lingered on your tongue. The way his arms held onto you, his cock fitting and curling perfectly inside you. Tsu'tey fastened his pace, coaxing louder moans out of you. You were grateful that you were too far from the Home Tree to be heard by anyone.

The more his tip hit your spot, the more you rolled forward to chase that feeling building up in your pit. Tsu'tey could feel that you were close to your release by the way you started to tighten around him. He tried hard concentrating on keeping up, dropping his head onto your breasts, to feel the small vibrations radiating through your chest. It wasn't long before you couldn't keep it in anymore. You came undone with a loud cry.

"Tsu'tey," you gripped at his back, the pleasure washing over you in a wave.

You squeezed his cock almost painfully, and Tsu'tey slowed down his pace. But as he continued to hit the same spot with the roll of his hips, your body shuddered from the overstimulation. You felt too exhausted to push him away, instead patting his back to stop, but the groans that were now escaping Tsu'tey's lips were signaling that he was almost done. Your cunt started to throb, feeling another wave of pleasure forming inside you, as his thrusts became rougher, filling out the hut with loud squelching sounds.

"Harder," you whined, and he slammed into you. Your juices coated his member in wetness, dripping down your crack.

Your core started to pulse again, nearing another orgasm, and the moment you came undone, tightening around him, Tsu’tey pulled out with a groan. He panted heavily, his hand immediately wrapping around his dick, and pumping it in his fist. You watched him give himself a final thrust, before white cum dripped over his fingers. Tsu'tey looked heavenly, when his features relaxed, thumb caressing over the tip of his penis. He watched you too through barely open eyes, as if the sight of you was the final nudge to push him over the edge. He positioned himself over you again, leaning down to kiss you. You could feel his dick smearing around its stickiness on your skin, but you didn't care, smiling into his lips with a bliss.

As you laid there, with Tsu'tey's strong chest pressed against your back and his arm draped over your middle, you could feel the reality slowly beginning to set in. It was suddenly overwhelming to be in his presence, being acutely aware that the moment was fleeting, and that any second now he could push you away. But for Tsu'tey, the feeling wasn't mutual. He was too lost in his dreamlike bliss, pretending that he could live it for a little longer. When you shifted to free yourself from his grasp, he pulled you back into him with a low growl.

"We can't get caught like this," you whispered, glancing at him over your shoulder.

"We won't, just stay the night," he murmured, nuzzling his nose into your hair.

You hesitated for a moment, before slowly relaxing into his embrace, savoring the warmth of his body against yours. You remained silent for the rest of the night.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

As the first rays of sunlight slipped through the small window of the hut, you stirred, crunching your nose in irritation. Tsu'tey laid beside you, his features serene in slumber, and you gave yourself some time to admire him like that. Despite the urge to kiss him, you knew you couldn't wake him up.

Carefully, you slipped out of his arms, quietly putting on your clothes. Tsu'tey's eyes fluttered open, sensing your movements, but he remained still, watching you with a pensive expression.

He knew it was better if you left, so he pretended to be asleep, when you cast a final glance at him and slipped out of the hut. 

As you made your way back to the Home Tree, you stopped by the river, to wash away his scent. No matter how irresistible it was to you, you couldn't afford to raise any suspicions.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

chapter 3

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

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[officialpenisenvy]

Since it seems down your alley and idk if youve talked about it before to my knowledge im really curious about your thoughts on trans exclusionary radical feminist fixation on pederasty (see: germaine greer’s the boy) + lesbian desire in relation to the like, archetype of the ganymede + the relation between that and sexual objectification of transfems and the utilization of said ganymede archetype in art as a sort of “agencyless transfeminine” 

okay so i want to say first of all that this is just me talking out of my ass and basically reflecting out loud (most of my blog is, but especially right now), so i don't know how coherent this will be, and i apologize preemptively if any wording on this is questionable or offensive, that is never my intent. i haven't looked into or researched this subject, so if you have any recommendations i would love to hear them! ramble answer under the cut

im very familiar with germaine greer's the boy, i have read it (as much as anyone can be said to have read what amounts to a pederasty-themed photo album) and reflected on it for some time: while the purported effort of the book is to "reclaim" pederasty from gay men towards women, i feel like the very desire to enable women to be pederasts is entrenched in greer's radical feminist background. trans-exclusionary radical feminism is built around bioessentialism, the assumption that men are ontologically different from women, and specifically that men are essentially evil, strong and predatory whereas women are essentially good, weak and preyed-upon: the young boy, however, somewhat disrupts this paradigm, being as he has been historically and culturally objectified and preyed upon and victimized in the same way women have. though he will inevitably grow up to become the evil strong man who harms women, therefore, the young boy can still be enjoyed by the woman while he is weak and essentially harmless, a more even relationship than that between a woman and a man that still allows a potentially heterosexual woman to satisfy her desire for a man; i don't need to specify that in real life we know any relationship between an adult and a child cannot be even and is more often than not deeply harmful to the child, and that the vast majority of adults who do sexual harm to children do so not necessarily because of physical attraction but because of attraction to their helplessness.

all this above is my attempt at finding a terf-ist rationale for female pederasty, but it does also somewhat mirror societal attitudes to the young boy, especially in a gay male context — starting from ancient pederasty up to basically the present day, the young boy is consistently the feminine or feminised party, at least in part due to his fragility and weakness in comparison to the (necessarily) stronger adult lover. the young boy, who i will now start calling the ephebe in this more archetypal context, therefore becomes a very powerful cultural figure of androgyny: ganymede's gender is important insofar as zeus chooses to bring him up to olympus and train him up as a cupbearer (a social role unthinkable for a girl), but his vulnerability and sort of waifishness are properties both of the ephebe and the girl/woman, and the same goes for all other popular depictions of ephebes, they are young boys noted for their beauty and androgyny who are functionally interchangeable with girls. as many queer people are, i find androgyny to be very attractive in all its variations and potential combinations, and i think that's why im so drawn to the ephebe as an archetype (needless to say i don't want to fuck actual young boys): the fascination with this concept of a beautiful boy who's devoid of most stereotypical characteristics of masculinity and who's somewhat forcibly put in the social role of a girl is to me a similar drive to the one that makes me attracted to very masculine women, i really enjoy the deliberate blurring of gender lines (and it would be pointless to hide that i also enjoy the element of coercion, though that is a recurring theme in my sexuality which is not limited to the ephebe).

obviously, all this discussion is separate from attraction to actual trans women: my attraction to trans women is motivated by them being women, so my enjoyment of a fem trans woman is paramount to that of a fem cis woman, my enjoyment of a masc trans woman is paramount to that of a masc cis woman (so coming from that place of liking androgyny), and so forth. of course, whether or not one is attracted to trans women is secondary to whether or not they actually treat trans women as women and respect their identity — plenty of people are attracted to trans women and behave like absolute monsters towards them.

like you said, trans women are horribly objectified and sexualised: to my understanding there's two broad categories of sexual objectification trans women face, being forcibly put in a submissive position (so basically recycling the ephebe archetype, especially coming from people who see trans women as particularly feminine boys), and being forcibly put in a dominant/active position (especially from people who see trans women as men and thus inherently sexually domineering, and who potentially fetishize their genitals as well). the forced submission, while obviously horrible and transmisogynistic and often meant as punishment for the transgression of manhood, isn't in practice terribly different from the forced submission cis women tend to experience to a lesser degree, so it can be in some measure rationalized as assimilable to the sexual treatment one would receive if she were as a cis woman (intersectional parenthesis demands i point out that cis and trans black women sexually interacting with non-black men are more likely to be put in a place of forced domination than forced submission). the forced domination, however, is pointedly and manifestly transmisogynistic in a way that specifically portrays the trans woman in question as "really a man" and "really secretly dominant", often with a very phallic emphasis, and this can be an obvious source of discomfort and dysphoria for trans women, some of whom will try to counteract that by making themselves deliberately more submissive and pliable and non-dominant, basically embodying the feminine and ephebic archetype of passive sexuality, or the "agencyless transfeminine" like you said.

i am not sure any of this makes sense, i hope i was able to be at least somewhat coherent for you anon! i would really love any input or criticism my transfem followers might have on this, since im obviously only speaking from what i have seen and am not a trans woman myself but just a tme yapper on the internet — again im very sorry if any of this comes off as offensive or insensitive, please let me know so i can correct myself if needed.

[mskinkyafro]

The Natasha switch up is CRAZY.

I feel like I need it to be explained to me like I’m stupid bc I’m having a hard time with understanding how she’s snakey for chatting and pursuing Stefan.

Especially, if 👏🏾you 👏🏾don’t 👏🏾want 👏🏾him. 👏🏾

*And this RANT is for people who didn’t even choose Stefan or want him. Bc I’m seeing most of this take with them. Vs someone who is on her route. Natasha Stan’s I feel for you. It sucks.

I keep seeing three big reasons why she’s the “worst.”

1) She’s obsess with Mc and Stefan. And gladly is second best to Mc/wants Mc’s leftovers.

Okay, in order to relate it and make common ground with Mc is to tell us that “hey, we were both the same season. Except I was a casa girl. And oop, we might have similar taste, I tried grafting/dating your ex but he was so into you.”

“And overall, y’all appeared so perfect and cute. I admired your relationship and want to have a relationship like yours or have someone be that interested in me.”

(if we go off appearances. Bc Mc can say that everything isn’t what it seems. )

Like clearly she is our exposition/lore character to help us understand what is the status quo BUT narratively, you can infer the questioning especially as we get to Casa is to make sure Mc FOR SURE is done with Stefan. Bc let’s be honest. Ppl be seeing their ex’s and old feelings be coming up.

And they all here for a second shot at love. Plus she has history with Stefan, whether you believe it’s as strong as Mc and his, is beside the point. It’s Casa and she’s single, and he is too. She has the right to explore that.

2. If you’re on a Stefan route, she pulls him for chats knowing I’m interested.

Once again it’s love island. Step your pussy game up if you’re scared of competition. Like it’s chats, BFFR why are we acting like she’s stealing your man, being so vicious and talking bad and sabotaging you behind your back.

I feel like there’s nothing wrong with having chats and still exploring ALL available options.

I get the argument of “if we been spending most of the time with one li, why should she step in and talk to him.”

But at that point it’s the final chats before recoupling, I see no harm in getting final graft time or check in with all casa boys and villa girls to make sure you didn’t overlook anyone. It’s no different than the casa boys, trying to sell Mc about themselves before recoupling. Is that them moving snakey? (to Marshall in my game) And either way, Mc always chooses before Nat so you can still choose him. She can’t fuck you over.

3. It’s just shady behavior how she’s moving bc shes’s been pressuring us about him and saying we are couple goals. But she turns around and grafts and brings him back. Why not just say you want him from the jump?

We as in-game characters didn’t know he was coming back. I mean I feel like it goes without saying she was interested in him from their season. But it was pointless. So fast forward now, idk about others but her talking with him before and after our own clear the air chat. That was clear she is going for him. Go for it girl, I can’t be mad. I don’t want him. And it’s no girl code rule break bc she didn’t even know Mc before this show.

I ain’t gonna hold her to some dumbass standard when we all signed up for a show where we are literally sharing men. I just fail to really see the snake behavior.

To me it differs from Kat who takes your li unprovoked for a chat and heavily tries to flirt and make moves just because. Knowing damn well she’s full of hell and just wants to make her partner jealous, and she chooses yours because she respects Mc the least. 😭

Now if Nat was moving like that with Stefan or your li you actually wanted. We could talk, but girlie literally did what she’s supposed to do on the show.

Make a connection, lock it in and is bring him back. Idk I just find more and more of these overreactions in the fandom so annoying and exhausting from players.

Like damn no one can be competition no more. No one wants to work for their Li affection. They all should worship the ground Mc walks on and never acknowledge any other girl ever. It’s boring af.

Final thing, which just speaks to her overall personality or character traits. Some are holding on to her “shit talking” from the PDA Awards.

But was she wrong?! No! Kat IS and ALWAYS will be ANNOYING and a whiny ass bitch.

Calling Kelly basic was shots fired and Kelly def caught a stray but I mean…Kelly does have more of simple vibe compared to everyone else who embodies the *That bitch* energy. Still all love for Kelly though.

Like y’all please. The “shit talking” was some of the most tamest shit ever. And let’s be for real, if Mc said this shit or has options to be even more bitchy or cuntier, we call them all kinds of Queens, Savages, and Icons. But with Natasha she’s shady.

I’m sorry I REFUSE to let y’all slander Natasha. She be riding for Mc. Remember she was one of the only ones on our side during the PDA debacle with Finn. Whether you did mess with him or not. Like Natasha is a rider.

Even with the drama that Melissa brought, that was Melissa twisting things to be messy. Not Natasha trying to be hurtful. Idc this rant was for her bc I hate how yall switching up on my girl. It’s WILD!

[skiiyoomin]

hii bestiiee, i was the one asking if you do songfics a few weeks (?) back (idk why i clicked anon lol)

so my idea is friends by chase atlantic, denki x reader 👀

what (and if) you want to make out of this is up to you, would be cool if this inspires you 🫶

x sky

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Cont: Denki x reader, toxic relationships, swearing, gn!reader, mentions of drugs and alcohol.

a/n this is messyyy, but bare with me i tried

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

ღFriends

Girl, tell me what you're doing on the other side And so, just tell me what you're doing with that other guy 'Cause I ain't got patience to slow down the pace All your girlfriends are wasted They need it, they chase it Face it, you want it, you crave it Believe when I say that you'll know once you taste it

Denki has felt confusion many many times in his life. Yet, they were all dimmed in comparison to the confusion he feels now. His eyes are glued on you. On your body as it sways to the beat of the music. The way your dress hugs all your curves just right. On the flashing lights of the party shining down on your skin. Had it been any other moment, he would´ve been taken by your beauty. But now he only feels a sourness envelop his tongue when his eyes trail over to the man glued to your side.

He hates it. Hates the seething jealousy he feels when your lips attach to his own. He had kissed your lips too. He´s sure he´s a far better kisser than that wannabe you´re making out with right now. He feels nauseous. Either from the overwhelming stench of drugs and alcohol, or from the sight of you in someone elses arms.

In a way, he feels a sense of betrayal too, even if he´s well aware he has no right to. You never labeled whatever you are. But is it really hard to miss the obvious tension between you? Everyone could see the fleeting glances, the lingering touches, the suave words that were borderline flirtatious. He had felt the passion you had kissed him with. Friends don´t kiss like you do. Right? He was convinced there was something more. So then, why are you kissing someone who isn´t him?

All of your friends have been here for too long They must be waiting for you to move on Girl, I'm not with it, I'm way too far gone I'm not ready, eyes heavy now Heart on your sleeve like you've never been loved Running in circles, now look what you've done Wish you'd let me stay, I'm ready now

Your friends aren´t any better. They whisper things into your brain, so much so that you believe them. He isn´t right for you. You deserve better. Yet you´re the one that always ran in circles, repeating the same stories over and over. You´d run to him, and in those moments, he´d feel the happiest because he was with you. Because you kissed him and looked at him like he´s your world.

Then you´d run away again. And as much as he wanted to pretend like it doesn´t hurt him, it does. He hates seeing you go around, sleeping with guy after guy. No matter how many times he tried to reason with you, to talk it out, it always led to some sort of pointless argument. He should leave, he knows he should, but he can´t. You´re a drug he can´t get enough of. Because, shit, he´s so hung up on you. He´s wrapped around your finger and you don´t even seem to realize. Or care.

Just give me some time and space to realize That you, were busy lying, sleeping 'round with other guys And what the hell were we? Tell me we weren't just friends This doesn't make much sense, no But I'm not hurt, I'm tense 'Cause I'll be fine without you, babe

Once again, he feels that profuse sense of confusion. That line between friends and lovers was crossed long ago. Maybe it never existed. Yet you keep giving him mixed feelings. You kiss him, but you kiss other guys. So what the hell are you if not friends? He doesn´t know. He does know one thing however, he needs to clear the air. He stands up from the couch and heads over to you, and despite his nerves, he knows he has to do this, because at the end of the day, none of you are benefitting from whatever this is.

[myday-is-a-starphase]

Spoilers for Dark Heir!!!!!

Some unorganized thought while reading:

So I saw the ending coming. It still absolutely wrecked me, but the reveal had to happen, I was just expecting James to be present for it? And then the collar??? Noooooooo.

The way James speaks in the last chapter has me thinking it might not be James anymore, but maybe Anharion? But idk.

I'm really sad Visander and James never interacted, cause I was hoping to learn more about Anharion, but we got some nice bits and pieces from the Sarcaen flashbacks!

I still don't like Devon. Tom seems like a genuinely good guy, so I'm really confused why he's working for Sinclair. Like, unless he isn't being told anything ever, he has to know all the horrible things that are happening, right? And he's just chill with that?

Loved everything about Phillip. I hope we get to see more of him and then he gets to stand against his dad. Also apparently he wields dark objects, which we haven't seen him do!

Will being actually truly the blood of the lady still shocked me somehow, I hadn't expected him to be their brother. Makes everything even sadder somehow.

That asshole historian can fuck right of, if I were will I would have ripped his hand off for touching James and talking about him like that. I feel like him being a reborn was kinda pointless too, we could have had a nice moment of Will maybe getting corrupted by the staff, but instead Will still seems relatively unaffected by who he was, when not considering James.

Think that's it. Please share your thoughts, I know zero people who have read these books, I need to talk about it!!!

[kangals]

way back in 2014, probably a few weeks or months after you posted that picture of boone with the stick on his head, i checked your blog out and so dearly enjoyed all the dogposting that i followed. i think you were the first dogblr blog i actually followed at the time, but it's been ages and my memory is bad, so i'm not fully sure. it wasn't long before then--2012 i think?--that i had gotten a new dog of my own, a border collie. iirc he and boone were just about the same age.

in 2018 i lost that blog i'd followed you with, and a lot of connections with it. i didn't return until 2021, and when i did, i didn't refollow most of the old blogs; i don't think i even really went looking for them. it took me a while to get back into the swing of using tumblr.

last september, my border collie had a sharp health decline, and i had to say goodbye. it's not the first time i've had to put a pet down, but i think it was the hardest. i'm still not over it. even just typing this now, i feel raw.

then in march or so, i made a new fandom friend who knows you, and i enthusiastically recalled following you before and how much i enjoyed it. i didn't even know about stellina, and now there's kep too! but... i also didn't know you'd lost boone. i followed because i still really enjoy your blog, and i love your collies too. and butters!!! so glad she's still here!

idk what made me look tonight... maybe because i talked about my old border collie with someone today. i went looking for the posts immediately around when you lost boone, because i guess some part of me wanted to know what happened. i spent the better part of an hour (maybe longer?) reading posts from the weeks before the decline, and then the loss, and then the deluge of old boone pictures after, and i've been crying pretty much the whole time just reading your posts and tags about him.

and this is a long and windy way to get to saying thank you. i'm glad you shared your grief, though that seems like a weird thing to say. there's something cathartic about crying over someone else's dog when you still hurt about your own, and knowing you're not alone in that kind of sorrow. boone was such a beautiful boy. i'll never forget that silly post that made me check your blog out in the first place, or the years of posts i stuck around for after. i wish i'd remembered to follow sooner, but the archive is still there, and it's so fun looking through all those old posts about him and his quirks and antics. he was amazing.

sorry for the length of this, i just... really wanted you to know that he touched yet another life, i guess. and i've been so deeply enjoying your posts about stellina and kep. i know it'll be a year soon... i hope there's some peace in how things have gone since he passed, and i hope the anniversary isn't too hard on you. thank you for sharing him with us.

i've been on tumblr for 14 years and this is, genuinely, the nicest ask i think i've ever been sent.

thank you - sincerely. there's been a lot of times over the course of this blog that i've felt like i was oversharing, or talking about pointless things only i cared about. i still so frequently start typing out a post only to stop mid-sentence and delete it because i can't help but think "no one cares about this." possibly it's why i like to talk about my pets so much - they're not me, but i'm the one who knows them best, so i get to say "hey look at this" and ramble and have people say "i'm looking" back. when boone passed, i lost that filter and i poured my grief out into this blog because it was the closest outlet i had. and to have hundreds of people not only acknowledge this but to commiserate, to reassure, to share their own stories - that helped healed me more than i can put into words. it's exactly as you said: there's a catharsis in grieving together.

i am sorry you also had to say goodbye. i wish i could say it gets easier, but i think that would be defeating the point of grief. your grief is your love and damn it if there isn't any act more loving in the world than choosing to say goodbye to an old, loyal dog. you think of how dogs were domesticated tens of thousands of years ago, of how human society and dogs have developed intertwined, of how we have records of ancient greeks and romans carving loving epitaths on their dog's graves, of how a prehistoric dog's skull was found with a bone placed in it's mouth after death, and you wonder if grieving a dog isn't one of the most consistent experiences in the whole of human history that there is.

i'm glad to know that this could bring you some comfort, in some way. it's incredibly touching to know that you kept me and boone in your thoughts for all this time. i am doing ok - i've been reflecting a lot as we approach the one-year mark. i'm not sure if i'll be able to condense those thoughts down into coherent words, but i'll do my best. i hope that my silly little pets continue to bring you some happiness, and that you've found peace with your own grief.

thank you, again - this is extremely touching and means a hell of a lot to me.