#i really like Rhen
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Author, were you trying to convince me that Harper and Grey make a good couple? Or Rhen and Harper ?
Because Harper's inner monologue is all about Grey..
#I'm not convinced#i really like Rhen#but i do t think Harper does#is greyharper endgame?#but this is beauty and the beast!#belle doesn't fall in love with Lumiere!#but oh i really love Grey and Harper together#rhen x harper#harper x rhen#harper x grey#grey x harper#a curse so dark and lonely#currently reading
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Doing some thinking about how I want to draw Skarloey n Rheneas
Rheneas… he’s so goddamn difficult to get right for me but I will figure it out
I want them both to look similar but still distinct (I am thinking too hard about this probably)
The culprit of all this (ignore the guy to the left he’s for perspective reference)
the above image is still a wip
#my art#ttte#ttte skarloey#ttte rheneas#been doing a decent chunk of writing and drawing related to them at a leisurely pace the past while#and I am often contemplating as a result of that#…#I usually draw the engines with black eyes but if I didn’t this’s what these two would look like probably#rhen as has some high cheekbones#he’s actually kind of pointed upwards more in general#while skarloey is more wide and centred proportionally#both are old and blessed with wrinkles#(I like drawing them)#I often forget how smooth they really are on canon#mostly#nothing wrong with that#though I’ve headcannoned(? I guess that would be)#them as not that that it feels odd slightly#(._. ‘’)
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like ultimately i guess this idea stems from the conception that ur romantic partner is the person that completes u or whatever so it doesnt matter what life circumstances u guys are dealing with as a result of being together because u wont ever be complete without them and its like Ok do we hear ourselves….is this not like absurd and completely ridiculous to anybody else or is it just me
#like sorry but i dont think there is One Special Person out there for everybody bc like. well u can get w somebody and be happy#and rhen they die and u find someone new. doesnt mean ur like cheating on them or that u never really loved them#so clearly this isnt like a situation where theres only one person out there for everybody#i feel like theres probably about a million people who youd be really compatible with if only u met them under the right circumstances#so in the end i think its all kind of stupid. And annoying
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i am this close to redownloading twst JUST to see my boyfriend (ace trappola 😞)
#ughh his new card is sooo pretty#talking with atlas !#i really like ace he’s sooo 🤭🤭#DONT MAKE FUN OF ME IM GONNA CRY AND RHEN KMS
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#my psych who prescribes my psych meds is a resident and is moving on in a couple of months#i don't even remember the names of them all at this point#this happens over and over and I cannot find a clinic that will put me with someone who intends to stay#thst will also prescribe my adhd meds#and my anxiety meds#and the real kicker is that twice now they have LIED about it and said they would#only to reveal after all the hoop-jumping that oops sorry they didn't really mean it#so it's a risk i have to take any time i leave#and rhen there's the issue of new people almost always wanting to DO something#but instead of talking to me about it they just decide that my meds need overhauling and pressure me to go off shit that works#but that they morally object to i guess#and my psych for some stupid reason has decided she wants bloodwork for my cholesterol and blood sugar stuff and im just like#what hell does THIS presage because if she harasses me about the results or tries to put me on drugs for that#I'll give her a nasty scrap about it#im not interested in those meds at all#and im certainly not messing with my diet since food is the only pleasure i get most days and even that is marginal at best#and removing that would just make me worse#but medpros for the most part really don't give a fuck about that#and so now im afraid - because i do not and cannot trust them - that if i disapprove of the meds they will retaliate somehow#which good luck proving that when management and oversight often don't even care if they course of treatment will HARM you#if it relates to being fat or having bad numbers#they just gotta pathologize!#so yeah im sick of everything and just kind of want to bury myself in a bog forever#i shouldn't have to deal with this
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Suddenly have the urge to get back into twenty one pilots
#havent really listened to them in a while#because i did the thing where i listened to them too much and rhen didnt want to hear them anymore#aside from heathens because it was EVERYWHWRE i have not listened to anything after blurryface#and next semester becahse it came up on spotify#i liked it#so. im gonna listen to their albums. in order.#also gonna do that with green day too when im done here.#i should maybe do it with blink 182 as well after that
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OH I LOVE BAKING!! im banned from baking cinnamon rolls bc they were too good lol
and i love stardew!!!!! its so fun!!!!!!
also have you seen the compilations of channie stimming they are literally so comforting
-aut anon
OKAY REAL.....!! cinnamon rolls gotta be one of my fav things to make, i don't all that often cus they just take foreverr (i also need to ambush someones kitchen. where is my bsf felix who i hang out with only for his oven!) but its soo worth it. getting banned is crazy though lol omg 😭 for me its the opposite like when i visit home they all want me to bake stuff lol
fellow stardew enjoyer 🤩 my besties are sam and haley (i am not immune to blond ppl.)
yesss! i think ive seen clips for all of them tbh. i feel like i notice chan and seungmin stim the most they are my people <3
#ask#autism anon#when i used to see compilations like that it used to make me so uncomfortable actually. something something internalized ableism like idek#i guess it was like i really hated and tried to repress the same stuff in myself#so when i wld see ppl saying like them stimming is so cute i would feel like. yall r weird!! how is it cute!#just cus its stuff i grew up unintentionally repressing. so i viewed ot as bad#anyway.. rhen i realize im autistic and im like ohhhh thats crazy.... thats crazy........#n e way...... it is rly comforting for me now ♡
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yeah so i just read like HALF of a heart so broken and lonely and i already know im abt to be in the trenches defending rhen and at the same time honestly not liking harper x grey
#no im just being really fr and honest#ive always ALWAYS hated the love triangle trope where it's just#'i have a boyfriend but his friend is just sooo hot ugh'#i hate it it's so cheating-esque and not like harper#and WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER?????#ARE YOU DEADASS??????????#HIS BROTHER????? THE MAN HE SPENT AN ETERNITY WITH?????? NO FUCKING WAY!!!#anyways no this is not me being anti harper or anti grey#i love them both#im just saying i prefer them as individuals than a couple#i can have my opinions you can have yours#anyways this may determine whether this is my last or first post interacting with the fandom#a curse so dark and lonely#a heart so broken and fierce#prince rhen#commander grey#brigid kemmerer#bookblr#books#booklr#comic books#reading#books and reading#book lover#bookworm#like no im not saying that the heart doesnt want what it wants#but hypothetically if she does cheat on rhen with him that doesnt justify shit
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Seeing people fangirl about Alex Turner on other platforms just seems... off to me (I'm sorry)
But like.... He belongs to Miles Kane first.
Himself second.
The Tumblr Girlies* third
It's simple.
*Girlies meant in an ungendered way
#I don't know what it is. I only trust the Tumblrinas with him#2014/golden era Tumblr claimed him and we now just have rights#also#I don't really have much against tiktok - like I know many do. I thibk there are really pure nice sides to it#but... just... the Ageism there js scary.#the way these 13-16 year olds call Alex a grandpa TRIGGERS me#(they still thirst though)#(and rhen turn around and act ageist towards 25+ people who are really the core AM fanbase. scary world)#PS yes this is a jokey joke - I don't seriously condone gatekeeping okay?
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I have a longing to be understood more than anything else i think
#someone very recently acknowledged something that usually goes unseen and it wasn't even that great of an acknowledgement but ive just been#staring at the messages every once in a while. its great. not really i sort of feel like a real weirdo#im very lonely. i cant say why but let it be known that i am very lonely#ok i have a question to those who lie their eyes upon this post: tell me what you know about me please?#so much lies in my social perception and i am just. not being perceived. at all. darn#i have a lot to cry about but morally i dont think i should-- specifics would mean being mean to the people i love#talking to anyone anymore just makes me feel horrible. doing anything anymore makes me feel horrible..tmbg has my back though ill live for#another.week or a few. and then my birthday will happen and rhen um#.Well. it sucks that sucks man. i dont want to disclose my age but to elaborate on why ACTUALLY HOLD ON#the thing i am about to say is not true; it is a metaphorical thing: it is my 21st birthday soon.#i decided that i wouldnt live past this age around 5 years ago and the only reason ive lived five years is being killed this year. i dont#think every thing ive been desperately clinging on to for the past 2 (?) years can keep me alive past then..i think im going to die. i have#to#NO MORE BEING A DOWNER#fox (vulpes vulpes) on the Internet for the first time#okay maybe a little more..i dont know who im talking to in this post. my friends do not read my tumblr and. i dont know anyone else.really.#uh#I'm listen to tmbg right now i love them#hey reader; i can only think of 3 people who see enough about me to check my blog. so i have separate questions for the each of you.#one of you likes (liked? school came in and i couldnt see your blog much past then; idk if its changed) tmbg. what do you think of The Else?#and uh you there... the guyyy. Google john flansburgh..i dont have a reason to this one ive just not been able to stop thinking about askin#you what you think of him.#um third person..... um#okay theres nothing iecan ask. i do want to apologize to you though: im sorry.#iThis is bullshit#im gonna delete this soon#Um also sorry if my wording here is. really wack. i tend to do that#i dont think anyones going to see this as is always#i think i just like talking to the hypothetical beast. yeah
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uriel deserved better :(
#‘better’ isn’t the righr word for it i know. this is spn. nothing gets better.#what i mean more is. uriel deserved to stay with us longer.#him & anna both they are such good narrative foils for castiel and without them he really does just. flounder.#they keep jntroducing angel after angel each season to be his new foil and rhen killing them immediately and its like. u guys are not uriel#or anna or zachariah. u will never be uriel or anna or zachariah.#zachariah’s death is at least a good one its a good end for him i think. like. cruel and fucked for him to spend the last moments of his#life realizinf he never mattered despite how hard he threw himself into the cause for michael. but its sooo good honestly.#anna & uriel should Not have died and should have stuck around for seasons more too evolve and reflect cas.#they’d all three be stronger characters for it#(I. personally. would love zachariah to be a part of this too because he’s fun. to me. but that’s utter self indulgenxe i recognize.)#(uriel & anna should have lived though that just would have been better period.)
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help!
#my friend is paying me $40 for 3 plushies and I estimated it'd take 3-5 hours for all of them#and it has taken 10. I am not done yet#I don't wanna charge her more but that's barely $13 a plushie and each plushie taking roughly 10 hours#means I'm making a little over a dollar an hour#which feels kinda insane but also she's my friend. we've already agreed on a price and I really don't wanna overcharge her. help#also the yarn cost $56 and shes only reimbursing for most of that but like. oh my god idk#am I an asshole if I ask her for more or do I settle#I also need to clarify these aren't tint plushies. it's 2 otters each with a different object#and rhen a foot tall plush of gir from invader zim like they're not small
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im starting to likr gibby which is scary
#daisy.txt#the reason is he sits like that and rhen also i spent a long time daydreaming about him being nice to dozy ☹️#im justOk what if he was like really nice to him#in that cool king of the moon way. anyways
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Almost walked in on my friend-ish acquaintanceship who I've known for over ten years and her girlfriend making out when I was bringing her some food I cooked and after that whole situation was cleared up and no longer awkward for her (friend-ish acquaintanceship who I've known for over ten years. The girlfriend was completely fine.) The girlfriend turned to me, looked me up and down and just straight up went "Are you trans?" No hesitation whatsoever. Apparently my non-cisness really is that noticeable in a private setting.
#a moment in my life for sure I was stunned#and rhen I had to awkwardly explain to her that i don't really label because I don't think I'm well.#it sounds strange saying it like this but I don't think I'm trans enough to just state it you know?#but then she sometimes threw around comments like ''you look so masculine right now“ and it genuinely makes me kind of happy remembering#because like :3#she would've he/him'd me if I asked her to and idk#and like :33333#i like :33#she's nice she really is
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my goal for 2024 is to, one per week, develop a new habit to help me restrict. last week was to not eat at night after getting home from my partner's. i think this week's is going to be to always plate food before i eat it- no more straight from the fridge or bag. and next week it's going to be to not always finish the entire plate and get ok with "wasting" food. so here's to seeing how those go
#doing these things once at a time one per week really seems to help#bc during the week im like#well. i can just. do it next week. nbd if i dont today#and rhen when the week is over i dont want to ruin the streak#and it just. keeps going
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Aveyond: Rhen's Quest Edit Set → [ PART 4 / ?]
"I'm not sure. I might go back to the academy. What about you?" "I don't know. So many choices..." "You could return to Veldarah too. High Sword Singer, remember?" "I remember. I was going to abolish slavery. Maybe you could help me." "Stranger things have happened..."
#aveyond#av1#mine: avworld#i really love this particular scene it just feels like THEIR scene if you know what i mean#also see how much hesitation there is on both sides of their conversation#god they're just kids THEY WERE JUST TEENAGERS AND THEY HAD TO SAVE THE FREAKING WORLD#i am not normal about these two#;_;#the AI made Lars look like a final fantasy character wtf#aveyond: rhen's queue#i really liked how this turned out#i'll probably create more of these (iconic in-game scenes) next time
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