#i really hope this was unbiased though. i tried to be

[accirax]

DRDT Chapter 2 Recap Analysis

Heyyyyy everybody :D

I'm sure that, by now, everyone has heard the exciting news: DRDT will be back on Friday, September 6, at 7 PM EST! That's so awesome!!! I can't wait to finally see the end of the Chapter, and hopefully for the DRDT community to come back in full force, even if only for a little while. I missed you all :)

So, to get back in the swing of Chapter 2 theorizing (and recap what's just happened for everyone including myself), I've decided to run a bit of analysis on the return announcement itself, specifically the recap that occurs at the end. I believe that anything an author says about their works can hold clues as to how they view their story. And, in this case, what does and doesn't make the recap and how certain events are phrased can give us some last-minute clues as to what we should be keeping our eyes on going into the second half of the Trial.

I'm going to try to keep this as facts-focused and non-partisan as possible, but in a "theory" like this, confirmation bias is basically impossible to fully ignore. It's inherent that I'll be more likely to pick up on "clues" that work with my beliefs than ones that work against it. So, please remember that I am not attacking anyone who believes any of the things that I "disprove" in this analysis, and I'm also not saying that you're already 100% wrong about them at this point in time. I'm literally going to "shoot down," so to speak, some of my own theories, but I'm not taking this analysis as reason enough to abandon them just yet. We can't know if anything is true or false until the Chapter is finished, so it would be silly to call something completely wrong when the Chapter hasn't even restarted yet.

With that out of the way, let's recap that recap, and drain every bit of information out of it that we possibly can!

I think that the most efficient way to see what is and isn't present is to list out the "scenes" that occur throughout Chapter 2, and see what DRDTdev had to say about each of them. With that in mind, our first "event" is...

Eden Makes Breakfast

Notably, all mention of Levi helping Eden make breakfast is omitted from this recap. This includes in the visuals of the clip played.

In some instances, I'm going to write how DRDTdev could have phrased things if he wanted to highlight certain elements in an indented paragraph, just to prove that it was possible to convey the information differently. Like this!

"Chapter 2 starts with Levi helping Eden make breakfast for everyone."

Distributing the Motive

This part seems pretty all-inclusive to what I remember happening in this scene. The only thing I particularly have to note is the finality of "Arturo received J's secret"-- which really makes it sound like that secret was assigned correctly-- but I don't think literally anyone was trying to claim that Arturo was lying about J having that secret.

Investigating the Second Floor

Obviously, DRDTdev didn't go into detail about any of these interactions-- no notes on Whit's theory that the killing game was catered to them, about Levi really wanting to make things up with Ace, or Nico's struggles with socialization. It means that those details are probably less important to the end of the Trial specifically, but I don't think that's much of a surprise.

Caulking the Bathroom

A lot of detail is omitted from what Teruko and MonoTV were actually talking about in the bathroom. Most notably, however, is that the Monocredits are not included in the recap. This may mean that Teruko's second Monocredit will not be redeemed this chapter, but at some later time.

A Chat With Charles

Once again, the use of Monocredits are ignored, as well as the fact that Charles gave Teruko the secret he received in case of emergencies. Therefore, it's possible that the letter (which should contain Eden's secret) won't come up again in the end of the Trial, and that this scene was more relevant to Charles' plot of opening up to Teruko than anything directly related to the secrets themselves.

"Afterwards, Teruko goes to talk with Charles, who hands her his motive secret in case of emergencies. Flustered by Charles' trust in her, Teruko uses her first Monocredit to have MonoTV make Charles go away."

Eden Retrieves Teruko

A couple of things here! Firstly, DRDTdev draws attention to the fact that Teruko was removed from the group for a day. I don't know if this could factor into murder plans at all, given that it's a whole three days before Arei turns up dead, but it could be relevant. Secondly, any mention of Eden's blackmail AND any mention of Eden's philosophy are omitted from the recap. Given that that's both one piece of information that makes Eden seem more guilty AND one piece that makes her seem more innocent, I imagine that was probably just to keep things neutral/brief. Unlike some of the other text boxes that I showed could have been written differently, that descriptor was already pretty long.

Commotion in the Cafeteria

No comment on who was the one tasked to help each of those pairs (Eden, Veronika, Teruko) or Charles and Whit choosing to sit out, but none of those additions seemed incredibly relevant to the overall plot.

David Suggests Secret Sharing

In this case, "secret" is put in quotations, which strongly suggests that having a family history of depression, whether true or not, is not what David's secret actually was. But, the board basically confirmed that already. Far more wildly, no mention is made of Charles learning of Elliot's existence at all. This is particularly crazy to me given that the last video on the DRDT channel prior to this was the Yoidoreshirazu MV. It definitely implies to me that Charles' secret will not be relevant in wrapping up Chapter 2.

Arei's Breakdown

The use of "rebuffs" as opposed to "bullies" or "demeans" is interesting to me, as it's a relatively chill word to describe what Arei did. We also lost Eden slipping up and telling Teruko that the secret she has belonged to someone with he/him pronouns, but that was likely excluded because we've (most likely) already solved that mystery.

Rose's Secret

No detail about Rose's backstory, but we don't have all day. Far more interesting to me is that DRDTdev draws attention to Nico asking Rose to teach them to paint in a sentence that could have easily been cut. My guess is to highlight the importance of this in relation to Ace's "murder."

Nico Threatens Ace

Nothing of note here; this seems pretty standard.

Nico's Secret

The phrasing "David has Nico reveal their secret" is really cool for how non-partisan it is. It doesn't say "David FORCES Nico" or "David MAKES Nico," but it also doesn't just say "Nico reveals their secret," either. It points out how David pushed things in this direction, but did so in a way where it was still technically up to Nico. Anyways, we also lost Hu telling us about the origin of her name. This is a bit strange, given that it's the main scene we have (in Chapter 2 at least) of Hu and David working together and being on good terms before David's reveal. Perhaps this implies that any relevance this scene has on the Trial has already passed.

Teruko Threatens J

Honestly, the weirdest part of this to me is that it was important enough to make the recap at all. But, it did have a CG and everything. Actually, I wonder if this could have been included to help us remember that Teruko is actively carrying a knife on her at all times.

Ace Nearly Dies

DRDTdev directly phrases this as "Nico attempting to murder Ace," which really sounds like a soft confirmation that Nico was the one who tried to kill Ace, and therefore they were not framed for this crime.

"Late at night, Teruko and Eden spot Nico running away from Ace's nearly dead body in the Gym."

We also lose a lot of detail when it comes to Teruko and Eden investigating the initial scene of the crime, Ace chasing down Nico to kill them on the spot, and Levi offering his aid before being rejected and growing angry. It could indicate that the details of what happened after Ace "died" won't be relevant to the end of the Chapter.

Hu Defends Nico

This scene, in which Ace tries to expose what Nico did and Hu argues that Ace must have the wrong idea, is entirely missing from the recap. I bring this up because, very notably, this is the scene where Arei is last seen, not speaking. Arei's weirdly quiet breakfast is not highlighted in the recap at all, which may mean that it won't be relevant to the Trial.

Teruko and Rose Check Out the Gym

We once again call particular attention to the fact that Rose can't do a pullup because the grippy tape went missing from the Gym at some point around the time of the murder, although no focus is put on the fact that the Gym was closed in between when Teruko and Eden were there and when Teruko returned with Rose. This may suggest that the lockdown logic of how the tape went missing may be relevant to the remainder of the chapter.

A Chat With Charles and Whit

Once again, absolutely no mention is made of Ellie or Charles' childhood amnesia, despite that being the main point of this conversation. Weird.

"Teruko stops by the Computer Lab and talks with Charles and Whit about Charles' memories of a forgotten older brother."

Horror Movies in the Gym

Beyond the lack of detail regarding Veronika's philosophy, I'm quite surprised that Teruko's plan to end the killing game wasn't at all mentioned in the recap. I guess that'll be saved for a further chapter!

Motive Reveal Time

I don't think there's anything particularly important going on here, besides possibly drawing attention back to David being the one to point out that Arei was missing. It's possible that could still be relevant if the specifics of the BDA come up in the Trial.

Discovering Arei's Body

A couple of points on word choice in this one-- first of all, the text says "find her body," which, according to what was said on the slide before this one ("points out that Arei is missing"), should imply that they found Arei's body. However, the way that this slide is phrased allows for the very sneaky "Everyone goes to search for [Arei]. Teruko, Eden, and Whit find [J's] body hanging in the playground." Therefore, in my opinion, this part of the recap doesn't disprove swap theory, at least.

Secondly, the word DRDTdev chose was "find," not "discover." And, in this game, the BDA rule is phrased as "The Body Discovery Announcement will play when three or more people who did not witness the murder discover the body." Thus, by not directly saying that Teruko, Eden, or Whit was discovering the body here, this part of the recap also doesn't disprove the idea that Eden or Whit (or Teruko) could have done something to falsify the BDA. In fact, the BDA itself isn't mentioned at all.

"Everyone goes to search for her. Teruko, Eden, and Whit discover her body hanging in the playground, and trigger the Body Discovery Announcement."

Investigation

Absolutely nothing from the investigation makes it into the recap, likely because the investigation is an entire episode long on its own, and DRDTdev was trying to keep it quick. Not to mention, pointing out particular pieces of evidence here would really highlight what's going to be important in the Trial to come, and DRDTdev may be lowkey trying to further nudge people towards rewatching the entire investigation for themselves anyways. I think that the reconstruction of the note is probably the thing that I'm most surprised to see missing from the recap? I'll also point out that the video clips chosen for the "Investigating the Second Floor" section include Teruko and MonoTV looking up at the Gym's ceiling fans, which could be a sneaky way of drawing further attention to that setup.

Assigning Secrets

We have to go a bit later into the recap to hear about the motive secrets, and what we get is, predictably, very vague. Saying, "currently, the state of the motive secrets is like this" puts the full burden of proof onto the students to assign them correctly, with DRDTdev giving no indication here as to which are correct. Even the most highly contested assignment-- that Xander has the "the killing game is all your fault" secret as opposed to Teruko-- is still treated like fact here. Again, not a surprise, but not much to be gained.

Possibility of Suicide

The specifics of the blackened being the "most mastermind-y" person involved in the case are not included in the recap. This could imply that this rule may not be important to the outcome of this Trial.

Eden and Arturo

"Eden had Arturo's secret" also feels like a soft confirmation that that is Arturo's secret, and we won't reveal later down the line that Arturo actually had a different secret. I feel like this segment is also phrased like fact, therefore implying that Eden wasn't lying about this confrontation happening. We also get no indication as to Eden's feelings on Arei's vow, or whether them becoming friends actually happened.

"In the Trial, Eden claimed to have Arturo's secret, and that he attacked her when she revealed it. When Arei came to save her, the two of them forged a friendship."

What Ace Overheard

While not as plainly put as "it is revealed that," the phrasing "Ace reveals that" seems to support that Ace was telling the truth about overhearing this conversation, although the date on which it happened isn't reaffirmed here. Similarly, "David's secret is revealed" strongly implies that David does have the manipulator secret.

"Ace then claimed to overhear Arei and David talking about [David's] secret, and declared that David's secret was being a manipulator."

The David Reveal

(I'm going to write these ones out instead of having a screenshot because I ran out of images :,( And I'm too lazy to compress them... )

"In response, David acts aggressively and admits to being Arei's killer. Everyone nearly votes for David, but Teruko and a few others believe that David is lying. Then, Charles interrupts and reveals that he has some yet-unknown information that changes the Trial..."

To be honest, I didn't realize that "a few others" were siding with Teruko. Like, Charles for sure, and possibly Ace, given he still thinks Nico did it...? That phrase could be a hint that we'll hear more about other students who don't think that David is the blackened quickly after the plot resumes. Maybe my prediction that we're about to head into a scrum debate for 7:30 AM vs 7:30 PM will turn out to be correct...!

And, that's pretty much all I had to say... 30 images later. Look, a lot of it is images, so there wasn't actually that much analysis involved! Besides, now is the third-best time to be hyped and rambling about DRDT Chapter 2-- the top two being while the chapter is airing and just after it's finished, obviously-- so I can say as much as I want! And so can you!

If there are any particular phrasings within the recap that struck you as interesting, feel free to talk about them in the comments or a reblog! I'd love to see what other people think about this, and add my two cents (if desired).

From what it seems, the DRDT community seems to be just as excited for the return of DRDT as I am, which makes me very happy. I hope you enjoyed reading this analysis, and once again, please remember that I'm not trying to shame anyone for believing in anything that may be "disproved" by what DRDTdev said, or to fully convince them out of it before the Chapter begins. If I were DRDTdev, I would be trying to phrase things in the most vague and misleading ways possible to throw off nosy people like myself. It's also definitely possible that I read into things too far in my excitement. That's what this practice round is for, before we dive back in to the real meat of the mystery on September 6th!

Oh my god... we're actually going to dive back in to the real meat of the mystery on September 6th...

See you then!!!

[anime-grimmy]

Soooo, you've probably noticed Ive been replaying HZD recently so my mind's been stuck on the franchise for a while.

I finally took the time to actually try and experience Burning Shores for the first time, this time with an unbiased opinion.

Bcs, ngl, when it came out, I was very negative towards it for a couple of reasons. It already started out with me not being able to freaking play this DLC, even though I was so excited for it, cos while HFW was on PS4, the DLC wasnt. And Im wasnt going to buy a whole ass PS5 just for a DLC.

(I will get it once I buy a PS5 for MH Wilds though).

And then, ofc, the elephant in the room - Seyka, or rather Aloy's relationship with her.

I'll preface this with, though it should be obvious with my content, I do NOT have a problem with Aloy being in a gay relationship.

What rly irked me, and honestly still irks me, is that Aloy finally gets to experience new feelings IN A FUCKING DLC. AN EXTENSION A LOT OF THE PLAYERBASE WONT PLAY.

The second reason I didnt enjoy this decision was bcs it felt so rushed. I mean, we're talking about Aloy here! Miss "I dont have time for feelings bcs I gotta save the world"! Miss "I barely just learnt to let others in"!

From what Ive heard, the DLC is over the course of a few weeks/months, so it's not like they fell in love just like that, but Ive also heard that while playing you do not get a feel for that passage of time. I'll have to experience that for myself though.

Now that Ive had some distance from the franchise though, my feelings have changed a bit

Im not going to lie and say I now loooove this decision. No, I am still miffed such enourmous character developement for Aloy is stuck IN A DLC. Not to mention that it was such a bold move to try this with a new character, cos this relationship being perceived well hinges on the player liking Seykay and that fast. Imo she's a fine character but also nothing special.

Now, I do have to say, I am really happy that Aloy has finally come so far that she allows such intimate feelings to develop, or rather, that the devs let her be this way. I know a lot of us still perceive Aloy as this single minded protag, that wont let anyone in bcs "the mission is too important", so Im glad Guerilla shows us that Aloy has undergone quite the growth.

Im also pleasantly surprised that Guerilla has the guts to include romance for Aloy, bcs they were one leg in the "strong women need no (wo)men" pit, so it's great to see they dont let Aloy fall into that trope.

Now, for the FUN part.

I actually have a conspiracy theory, ie I am gaslighting myself on why such a big thing is stuck in a DLC.

I think Guerilla is testing the waters to see how players react. I am pretty sure they can gather the data on what dialogue options players used, so Im thinking this:

Guerilla is trying to gauge the player reaction on a) Aloy developing feelings, b) players thinking Aloy is ready/willing for a relationship, c) same sex relationships. They tried killing quite a few birds with one stone.

I have seen quite a few teasing, winky face posts and replies from Guerilla staff about romance options in the third installment, so my guess (delusion) is that the relationship is hidden in the DLC so Guerilla can plan on how much and obvious to include several romance options in the last title.

I know this is all just wishful thinking, but even if Seyka is a good character, I hope to fucking god that they dont just take that relationship decision away from us, esp with a character bound to a DLC.

Guerilla gave us such a wonderful cast of characters over the last two games, and if they want to give Aloy an "end game" in the third title, I hope they do let us choose with who. Or at least I hope they dont force a relationship we cant choose onto us.

Cos as much as Aloy is her own person, it is still US that make the decisions in game. Through our individual playstyles , we give Aloy our own interpretation. Now, we cant change her core values, but still, I hope to GAIA that Guerilla will give us enough wiggle room.

(Guerilla, Im begging you, Ive already waited 8 years, please dont let my ship sink)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for continuing to try and reach out to my half-sibling, even though my mom "doesn't like it"?

So, I (20F) haven't known my dad, as he left when I was too young to remember it and then he died. I don't actually know much about him, or any relatives I have on that side (as my mom won't tell me much), but I know a few names, and specifically those of my half-siblings. One, who I'm calling S, is apparently my sister. I've known about her my whole life, and have wanted to contact her in some way also for a very long time. Well, I found S on Facebook when I decided I wanted to try and find anybody the other week, and have attempted reaching out. It's gone well so far, she's been really nice, but I haven't brought up the related part because I just don't know how. I tried to look up how to go about this, and most things I find just say to "not get your hopes up" and to "ask a relative for help", so... I asked my mom if she had any idea how I should go about that, since I don't know, and she's generally better at talking with people than I am.

My mom instead blew up at me, and told me that she doesn't like that I'm trying to reach out to S, doesn't like that I want to know anything about my dad, doesn't want me doing this, doesn't like me doing this, and that "not everything is about you you're not the only one who was affected by that". When I tried to ask for a reason why she doesn't want me to, all she had to say was that "it's not fair S had a dad and you didn't", and "they never helped or reached out to me even though they knew about you". (Though, I'm unsure how unbiased this statement might be, since she's always had a tendency to blame everyone close to people who have upset her for the one persons actions)

I haven't brought it up, but quite honestly I want to keep talking to S and try to bring it up anyways, but now I'm worried I'll be an asshole for it.

On one hand, I'm an adult and I think I deserve to try at least, and I think my mom's reasons shouldn't be impacting my choices (yeah it's unfair I didn't have a dad, but that's his fault not S's? and yeah no one helped her or anything before, but why does that mean I can't even try to reach out?), but on the other... Obviously this upsets her, and I think me wanting this has crossed some sort of line with her or something?

So... I guess, what do you people out here think? Would I be an asshole if I just ignored my mom and did it anyways?? Because I'm not sure anymore... (and apologies if this is "above tumblr's paygrade" or anything)

[drop-dead-dropout]

Fuck's a pro shipper?

We've got a new one boys try not to scare em off /j

Okay but seriously, I'm more than happy to explain. I assume that if you're asking this question you're not aware of the proshipper vs antishipper, uh, "conflict", I guess. So, here is what both of those terms mean, to the best of my descriptive abilities:

Antishipper (often just "anti"): someone who vaguely believes that consuming problematic fiction (usually specifically problematic sexual fiction like lolicon or incest) is either a true reflection of them as a person or a corrupting force that will cause them to play out these desires in real life, onto real people. Basically, if you read age gap, you touch real kids in real life or secretly want to.

Proshipper (sometimes "profic"): someone who does not believe the above, and believes that fiction is not the same as reality because it doesn't harm anyone and therefore people should be left alone as long as you have no reason to believe that they would ever do something like that irl. Often hand in hand with things like anti censorship, kink positive, etc, though being a proshipper does not necessarily mean you have a problematic ship or kink yourself (example: me).

You're probably asking this question because you saw me day in my bio that I am a proshipper. I've tried to stay neutral in this initial description, but obviously I probably didn't manage to be completely unbiased considering that I believe myself to be right (most people do) so if you want to ask further questions after this that's perfectly fine. That being said:

Why am I a proshipper?

So, to understand this, let's first look over the issues within both communities— every group has issues, after all.

What problems do proshippers have?:

- sometimes 4chan assholes co-opt the label "proshipper" just because they're lolicons, even though there's good evidence to suggest that they would do or even have done criminal sexual acts in real life, or that they possess actual csam (child sexual abuse material, a term being used in favor of "cp" these days as porn implies consent). Proshipping has nothing to do with the harmful idea that you should be allowed to exploit and abuse real children.

- there are still many gray areas which proshippers themselves don't agree on. For example: I've seen a bunch of arguments about if writing fanfiction of live action shows or movies changes the equation. The general consensus of proshippers is that writing fanfiction of a character played by a child actor is definitely a more delicate situation and should not be sexual as it's inextricably tied to the image of a real child, but there are others who believe differently.

- I'm genuinely struggling to come up with more of these. Um, sometimes lolicons are really shitty people, like in point 1. This isn't SUPER relevant though cause in reality the overlap between predominantly queer or female proshippers and Reddit incels who just wanna jerk off to a petite anime girl is pretty small, though I'm sure it exists somewhere .

Now, what problems do antis have? (Fair warning, this is gonna sound even more "biased" but I hope my logic is still sound from the outside :p):

- I don't have any statistics on this (haven't exactly been many research papers on fandom drama), so you're going to have to trust me when I say that antis are absolutely NOTORIOUS for extreme harassment campaigns. The first time I was exposed to the word "antishipper", it was attached to a story of a former animator committing suicide because antis had gotten them fired by "exposing" their porn alt on Twitter and they could no longer afford medication for their disability. So, hell of an intro!

- their opinions are, in pretty basic ways, not backed by science or even practical common sense. The human brain can distinguish between fiction and reality after around age four or five

and people certainly aren't trying to hand nsfw content to children that age so I think it's safe to say that the people who are reading these things won't be "confused" by them or whatever. Also, even just using your brain and talking to these people, you find out most of them project onto the YOUNGER character.

- they claim to support victims but often simply don't. I won't keep dragging threats into the spotlight because I know there are probably antis who aren't as violent, but it's honestly astonishing to me how often they jump straight to wishing death and terrible things on people, and this has included more than once telling a rape victim they hope they get assaulted again just because they're a proshipper. See, a lot of these "taboo" sexual fantasies like age gap and incest actually themselves stem from a traumatic experience, and any therapist will tell you that fiction is a much healthier way to explore intrusive thoughts and urges than more dangerous coping mechanisms like self harm or substance abuse. And when confronted with this, in my experience and many others', antis will simply ignore that fact or say that the therapist is some sort of evil enabler.

-the general cognitive dissonance of believing an incest fanfiction will make you "forget" that incest is bad vs being fine with horror movies and slashers speaks to a deeper and honestly kind of worrying anti-sex mindset. I'm not sure I'm qualified to tackle this particular topic, but I definitely agree that it's a thing; after all, I have no idea how else those two things could coexist.

Anyways, I'd like to close this off by saying not everyone is as crazy opinionated as I am, I'm just autistic and like talking lol. A lot of people who id as proshippers just have a sort of minding their own business, ship-and-let-ship mentality, and a lot of antis are unfortunately just teenagers who were told proshipper = evil pedophile groomer and thus they put "proship dni" in their bios just cause they don't know and don't really care what it means. It is undeniable that many antis are kids themselves, and that does worry me, because fandom drama (especially Twitter fandom drama) is dangerous and vitriolic and also they're putting extremely serious threats on their digital footprints at the tender age of 14! But whatever, I'm not their parents, that's just my worry. Sorry for rambling this long lol, I wouldn't blame you if you dropped out halfway through but this is basically my summary of this whole thing. Do with this knowledge what you will! Or, you know, don't! I'm not a cop!

[devilsrecreation]

List of AU’S I came up with

Crack Hodari x Njano (They need a ship name: Hodano? Njari? Lizards in Love? idk)

Makuu-Kiburi role swap

Hyenas-Crocodile role swap

Pirate AU

High School AU

Actor AU

Piga is alive

Danganya is alive (nothing would really change much but I like to think he, Shupavu, and Njano are a trio)

Didn’t create this one per se, but Zootopia-esque AU (specifically Kenge in that universe)

These could technically count as au’s:

A world without Jasiri

A world without Kiburi

Ushari’s still alive

Ucheshi is the leader of the crocs instead of Makuu

Okay so I was listening to “Give a Little Guy a Chance” again (as you do) and I kept thinking about Ucheshi’s reaction and then I said “If Ucheshi were the leader, she’d immediately say yes”…which led to this au

Soooooo I have thoughts….

-She’d definitely be a little more cocky in this au. Not as cocky as Makuu or Kiburi, but she wouldn’t be above rubbing stuff in animals’ faces

-Her challenging Pua to a mashindano would be so funny tho. It starts off so civilized and then it’s Ucheshi pulling a Looney Tunes and tricking Pua into agreeing to fight her

-Ucheshi would have waaaay too much fun battling Pua. She treats it as if it were a game

-Like my in-universe hc for her, she’s not a villain by any means. I like to imagine her as a neutral character if anything; an unbiased participant if you will. She respects the circle of life most of the time but she’ll let her crocs take over all the watering holes

-Like in the Savannah Summit, a lot of the animals would assume she’s here to cause trouble when in actuality, she’s pretty chill

-No but her in that episode would be so funny cuz Kion and Simba are talking about her and she just casually butts in like

Kion: I think Ucheshi has more enemies than friends

Ucheshi: *pops her head in* In my defense, so does Bunga

Kion: What the-?!

-not her breaking the fourth wall at one point or another/j

“By Pua! Have a nice life! Hope you get more screentime!”

-Don’t be fooled, Makuu still has a role in the au. He’s mostly the one by her side supporting her

-I think Kiburi would be a little more respectful than he is with Makuu. Though their disagreements are still amusing to watch, especially with her using her title as an advantage

“Sorry, who’s the leader here?”

“Ucheshi-“

“Answer the question: who’s the leader?”

“You…”

“What was that?”

“You.”

“Oh really? Didn’t realize! 😁”

-That being said, he still challenges her to a mashindano and loses, which is admittedly still very hard on her

-Instead of Kiburi trying to hurt her like he does with Makuu, he repeatedly tries to get her to become evil

-Hodari would immediately become a part of the float after singing his song. If he goes to Kiburi’s float, it’s probably to try and get the siblings to reunite and make her proud of him

“Hey guys, this little gecko is now a crocodile. You can fight me on that! No, seriously, I dare you to challenge me to a mashindano!”

-Her and Kiburi’s dynamic would definitely stay the same lmao. Imagine her reaction when Kiburi finally challenges her

Kiburi: Or…I could call for a mashindano

Crocodiles: *gasp*

Ucheshi: :0

Ucheshi: Nuh uh

Kiburi: ….Tf you mean “nuh uh”?!

Yeah my…my brain is weird djdbbdgrgrv

[lanadeldixon]

Summertime Sadness (pt2)

Pairing: Daryl x fem reader

Wordcount: 2k

Summary: after Daryl joined the saviours you don’t get as much time together so when the opportunity arises for a little fun you know you have to take it…

Warnings: foreplay, mention of scars, public embarrassment

Authors note: This is for everyone who wanted part 2!! Also I haven’t been very well which means I haven’t been in the right mindset to proofread properly so I’m really sorry if at points it doesn’t make sense 😅 (btw to those who haven’t read part 1, you can read without having read it, but part 1 low-key slayed so as someone who is obviously completely unbiased, I recommend it.)

After everything that happened I didn’t see Daryl much anymore, he would disappear for weeks and only come back to take supplies however when we did run into eachother we tried to make the best of it.

Even if it meant just a slight touch of our hands or a lingering gaze from our separate stations. We did all we could to show one another we still belonged to eachother.

There was a day, around the end of august, I was stationed to guard the gate when I saw the trucks.

Our worst nightmare had come early, collection day, however part of me was exhilarated, the idea of seeing his face again ran laps in my mind.

A melodic whistle could be heard through the town and a sense of longing took over as I desperately searched for his face, but to my dismay I couldn’t spot him anywhere.

I climbed down the ladder, I’d normally never abandon my watch but I figured the saviours wouldn’t allow any walkers to come in and potentially harm Negan.

Besides we all had to gather up our stuff to contribute to the 50%.

“He’s here,” Rosita muttered under her breath, I could hear the despise in her voice as she spoke, I would’ve comforted her but the second the gate opened, all of my senses focused on searching for him.

My eyes darted around the group in front of us, looking for him although all I was met with was an almost knowing gaze from Negan, I still held out hope that he’d be there too…

As stressed as I felt, I made sure not to break our staring contest , “where is he” I wanted to say “what did you do?” but my mouth stayed shut.

“Dixon, bring him out,” his voice grew louder with each word and an even larger smile took over his face, fighting for power as he made sure to not be the one to break the eye contact.

I exhaled at the sound of his name, knowing he was alive was all that mattered to me…

Clanging sounds could be heard from the back of the front truck but still no Daryl in sight, worry began to fill me and it must’ve been evident on my face as Negan leaned in uncomfortably close to my ear before whispering, “don’t worry gorgeous, I don’t wanna make you cry again now do I? With a pretty face like yours, you should never be sad.” As he said it he lifted his finger to my chin so that ours faces were aligned.

My brows furrowed,

“Carl,” he exclaimed with excitement.

My head turned sharply confused as to why Carl was with them, as soon as my eyes landed on him I noticed who was stood by his side…

“Daryl,” I whispered a sad smile on my face.

He looked good, he was wearing his old clothes again and his crossbow was slung on his shoulder, the bruises on his face had faded almost completely, he finally looked like he was getting better.

Carl on the other hand looked sickening, his face was sullen and pale and his wound was on full display, that wasn’t the gross part though, the gross part was the look on his face, i didn’t know what he had witnessed but I knew it had changed him.

“Show some respect boys, you might just be looking at my next wife,” he had a sick look painted on his face as his eyes shifted to Daryl, clearly trying to gage his reaction, to test his loyalty and most importantly, piss him off.

Daryl looked at him, eyes hooded in anger, resentment painted his face and I could see the jealousy rise in him as he looked at Negan’s finger slowly tracing my jaw.

I stood straight, eyes pinned on Daryl.

God he looked good.

“What’s with all the negativity? Damn you look like you wanna bite my hand off,” he joked.

“Maybe if you keep up your winning streak, I’ll let you keep this one,” the same twisted smile reappeared, I felt as though he was stripping me with his eyes.

“Now I got some business to take care off, where’s Rick?”

“He’s not here right now,” I stated nonchalantly.

“So I came all this way for nothing?” Everyone was silent as he spoke “I guess I’ll just have to wait for him then, Carl will show me around, won’t ya? The rest of you start gathering,” he ordered.

I turned to Daryl straight away knowing he’d have a plan, he lifted his eyebrows and looked towards my house.

He walked in the opposite direction, pushing past me on the way, I of course went along with it, snarling before walking towards my house. Once I got to the doorstep I waited, the saviours were already in the process of raiding my house so I knew we’d have to find somewhere else, my eyes searched for him, until they finally stopped the door to our shed wide open, praying it was him I rushed towards it trying not to look suspicious but also desperate to get my hands on him.

As soon as I entered I was shoved to the door forcing it to close as I was pressed up against it.

“God I missed ya darlin’” Daryl’s face met mine with hunger, my teeth nibbled my bottom lip in anticipation.

“Are you gonna keep talking or are we going to get to it,” I smiled, fixated on his mouth as his tongue slicked across his lower lip.

He hummed lowly in an approving manner before smashing his lips into mine, he moved in rapid motions, desperate to taste me and I followed his lead, leaning in and out of it when he did, brushing my tongue against his teeth, doing all I could to be closer to him.

He moved to my neck, nipping at it, I knew it would leave marks but I didn’t care, all I cared about was that moment, being with him meant everything to me.

As I lifted off my shirt, I watched him struggle to shake off his waistcoat, “fuckin’ thing,” he muttered as I let out a small giggle.

Once he finally managed to get it off he practically ripped off his shirt and moved towards me once again, smiling widely.

He placed his hand on my jaw and gently stroked his fingers across my cheek for a second, just admiring me, taking it all in, being happy we could finally be together again, even if it was just for one night…

“Yur so beautiful,” he said eyes shifting to every point on my face as if creating a painting in his mind in order to never forget this moment, so that he’ll never forget me.

My hand entwined with his and I rested my head on his chest, “You’re so handsome,” I smiled.

Slowly he began to nibble at my ear, then my jaw, then my neck, then finally he stopped at my breasts, making sure to leave as many marks on them as possible.

My hands explored his frame as he did mine, and wordlessly we began our separate adventures.

His back was muscled and scarred, I could feel every mark on it, I felt like I was exploring a gallery, feeling a painting and grasping at what it means, seeing the pain and beauty behind it.

Then I moved my hands to his chest as his hand lowered, sliding down my stomach before stopping at my waistband, my breath hitched as he whispered, “ya ready? Imma make sure ya never forget yur mine,” he drew out his voice as he spoke and his fingers slid further down.

“Always,” I moaned into his ear whilst his fingers pushed hardly against my core before pulling away quickly and tracing around the line of my underwear.

I continued to kiss him, in a sloppier manner this time, terrified he’d disappear again…

“All this for me?” He questioned with a teasing smile as he wiped his hands over my thighs, feeling just how wet I was.

“Mhm,” I said quickly leaning forward, desperate to taste him again, “we got time,” he muttered but was abruptly cut off by my mouth on his once again where it belonged.

Grabbing onto my thighs he placed me against the ground, keeping his body between my legs. He then began to unbuckle my trousers and pull them off my ankles, throwing them dramatically across the room. After he struggled to tug off his own trousers, readying himself for what comes next…

I leaned away from the door until I was on top of him, I could feel him beneath me, poking into my core.

“I need ya right now,” he moaned in a hushed tone, his hands gripping my ass to keep me in place.

My hand reached into his boxers as his lips found their way to my neck yet again.

“Oh holy shit!”

My head shot up and I turned around abruptly.

“Well what do we have here?” He questioned, Rick stood behind him mouth open in shock at the display.

I quickly realised the position we were in, me on Daryl’s lap in nothing but my underwear and Daryl in his boxers gripping my ass. Not to mention the atrocious amount of hickeys that had quickly formed all over my upper half.

“Fuck fuck fuck,” I exclaimed quickly grabbing whatever clothes I could reach to cover myself with. Daryl quickly began to reach for his clothes.

“Well this is certainly a sight, don’t mind me please continue if you want, no need to get dressed,” he smirked.

Daryl shot him daggers as he pulled up his jeans.

“Outside.” Negan managed to boom still in an upbeat manner.

“At least let her get dressed properly man,” Daryl tried to sympathise.

“I said outside.” Negan said more sternly this time, so off we went.

Unfortunately my hunt for my clothes in the dimly lit shed did not go as planned, so there I stood in nothing but my underwear with daryl’s vest thrown over the top.

Daryl, who was stood in nothing but a pair of jeans, methodically pulled me towards him and placed a hand over my backside, trying to cover everything he could.

We got a few wolf whistles, I’m assuming from saviours, and a couple of shocked looks from everyone else.

“Daryl my boy, you’ve been so good up till now, I mean I told you I wanted her as a wife and you went and fucked her anyway! Isn’t that insane!” He laughed, it was almost like watching a comedy sketch, seeing him turn to his audience waiting for validation.

“But this took some balls, quite literally, so since I am such a caring guy, I decided you can keep your little play thing, take her home with you… However you fuck up even once, she’s done and I don’t just mean out of the sanctuary, I mean she’s done for good.” My breath hitched at the certainty he spoke with during his final statement.

“So what’s it gonna be Dixon?” He asked sinisterly.

“She belongs here.” Daryl stated confidently.

I knew he was being kind but wanted nothing more than to just be with him.

“You don’t want her?”

Daryl was silent contemplating his next response.

“Fine, well don’t say I didn’t give you the choice, I can’t let a face like that go to waste now can I?”

I met Daryls gaze in shock, he turned pale as his eyes widened.

“Nah that weren’t the deal,” he exclaimed clearly in a panic.

“The deal was you want her or you don’t. I never said I wouldn’t take her if you didn’t.”

“That ain’t fair!”

“Nothings fair dixon, now you made your choice, move along”

“I want her, I changed my mind, I want to take her back,”

“You already made your decision,”

“NO! I WANT HER!” he screamed at him.

Negan stayed silent for a second, waiting for the magic words, and soon enough they arrived…

“I’LL DO ANYTHING!”

“Beg.”

“Wha’?” Daryl said as if he misheard.

“Beg.”

[rouge-fauna]

Some people think that your take on c!Tommy having aspd is dehumanizing and/or stigmatizing aspd because you don't like c!Tommy and therefore are biased and this take is based on hating him or seeing him as pure evil or something. How do you comment on that?

[essay on c!Tommy having ASPD]

Well my initial thought, is - say it to my face or don't say it at all ;P... like I feel like I try to create a safe space to have discussions, like if you disagree with me that's fine, let's talk about it. I'd love to understand why. I wanna know your reasons, I wanna see your evidence, and maybe neither of us change our opinions but maybe we gained some insight or at least understand where the other is coming from more by the end.

Besides that... First I would like to say, I never claimed to be unbiased. In fact I've written multiple essays on the topic of bias and how we all have inherent bias in the dsmp and why that might be. I've even talked about how I am biased and the reasons why that might be. As well as how our inherent bias makes it sometimes hard to have good analysis or discussion.

Secondly, while I do dislike c!Tommy in the same way I also dislike c!Quackity and c!Wilbur, I don't think I have ever reduced them to pure evil or dehumanized them or at least I have not intended to do so. They are very complicated characters, who are people and I hope that while I have talked about them not having empathy, I haven't reduced them to just evil. Especially in regards to Tommy, who I have somehow talked a lot about, I feel like I have covered a lot of other facets of him then just noting him as a sociopath or having ASPD (Antisocial Personality Disorder). In addition, for Tommy I have used sociopathy to note how his behavior isn't inherently malicious. I don't think he is trying to just go out and hurt people, but instead I think he does things without the consideration for other people because he lacks empathy. (Besides c!Quackity's confessed sadism) I don't think there are really any characters in the dsmp out to just hurt people on purpose, for the sake of hurting them. I think instead, some characters seem to do things for their own benefit and themselves without any thoughts for other people and any remorse for the hurt they cause. This does not make them any less of a person, but also certainly isn't going to pull any sympathy from me if they themselves don't have any...

Anyways, now about ASPD, I may be far from an expert and certainly don't personally struggle with it. However, I did have conversations about it with three different therapists including my grandfather who worked with people who needed someone bilingual, my sister in law who works a lot with couples and people recovering from substance abuse, and my own well accomplished therapist. Also, in addition to doing my own research looking at reputable sources, my best friend has a younger brother with ASPD. So, I have tried to be knowledgable as I can before talking about it, though it is also a highly complicated diagnosis process that is not agreed upon across the board of psychologists, with many having varying opinions on the matter. Not only with there not being a lot of treatment options, but also a struggle of how to diagnose someone as not having empathy if you are not in their head.

ASPD is very complicated, something I think I have tried to highlight. So much so, that from what I have gathered more recently, it has been confused with other diagnosis such as Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). Something I actually talked about in my essays about why I think c!dream is autistic [post]. Because for a long time when I was younger, I thought I was a sociopath, but as it turns out I do have empathy it just looks a little different than neurotypical's. And I almost wonder, even though it's not my place or area of knowledge to even say so, if these people coming forward talking about how ASPD and sociopathy can be so dehumanized or stigmatized, if they perhaps might actually have a different diagnosis, because the way I understand it they generally shouldn't care about what other people think of them anyways. And since I came across somebody recently bringing up a diagnosis that isn't even a thing recognized by psychologist [post], I am beginning to wonder how warped the Internet is making our perception of mental illness and diagnosis...

Finally, I would like to also just add, that ASPD is a personality disorder, which as far as I understand it, means it is describing patterns of an individual's thinking and specifically behavior. Therefore it doesn't seem unreasonable or stigmatizing to me to take a character, not a real life person, and the actions that happened in canon and classify them as falling into the pattern of sociopathy/psychopathy/ASPD. Not to say the character then represents ASPD or is what it always looks like, but just that it fits them and helps explain why they did what they did...

[spoiler-alert-andabunchofnumbers]

Let's talk about Tidus and Yuna, shall we?

As someone who enjoys FFX, this probably should have come a long time ago. Tidus and Yuna's characters in the original Final Fantasy 10 are excellent.

Tidus successfully portrays a seventeen-year-old boy in this fantasy situation - slightly annoying, slightly arrogant because of his famous father and his own famous Blitzball career, and utterly overwhelmed by being thrust into an entirely new world without knowing if he can go home.

While FFX tries to fake you out into thinking it's a time-travel story where he has been thrust 1000 years into the future, the city of Zanarkand is a physical location in Spira that just requires you to be made of pyreflies to enter (aka dead or a summon). This makes Tidus essentially a summon, which is an interesting theory for another day. This means Zanarkand is just a place that hasn't changed in 1000 years, likely in some infinite loop imagining and reimagining people who had once lived there - warping them slowly over time, but ultimately just trying to keep the city alive (which is how we got Tidus from Shuyin, I think, idk I really don't care for 10-2's plot). The fayth were trying to imagine what would happen if Zanarkand was never destroyed, but I think they simply would have started running out of ideas for new people who lived there, so it did end up looping old characters into slightly newer forms. Like fanfiction characters, honestly.

But it's so great to see Tidus's journey. He starts the game a confused outsider just trying to survive, someone who doesn't mind speaking up about how he feels and what he believes. His outsider perspective provides a means for the audience to be introduced to Spira's world building as well, and we also get to see an unbiased point of view to Yevon's religion - and not necessarily a disrespectful one. Tidus, though he doesn't preach Yevon as a devout follower for his entire life, still tries to make an effort to be respectful of the good parts. When Shelinda corrects him, "That's MAESTER Seymour, or LORD Seymour", he says "Sorry, I'll be careful."

He dashes into the Cloister of Trials to save the summoner who might be in danger, regardless of the rules or presincts, because he's got a childish outlook life and a good heart despite his many inital arrogant qualities. He wants the best outcome, he's willing to believe in doing the right thing even when it's hard, and yeah it's unrealistic at times, but it's a breath of fresh air for the people of Spira who live rather docile lives always in fear of Sin and dedicating themselves to the kindness of Yevon's teachings. He admits "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea" after he breaks the rules for the first time, and watching Yuna on her pilgrimage and how she interacts with the people who admire her for her father and her own summoner status allows Tidus to humble himself while still remaining fundamentally defiant to anything he doesn't agree is right - aka Yuna sacrificing herself.

Religion isn't always a bad thing, and FFX makes a point to emphasize this. The people of Spira are kind and respectful, banding together in the hard times and unting together to have hope. Yuna is initially a beacon of hope - all summoners are - making people smile and flock to her wherever she goes, and she gives people respect and encourages them to have faith not only in her, but in themselves as well. Even when she's branded a traitor, a significant number of people recognize Yuna's dedication to the people and immediately believe the next tale about it all being an evil Al-Bhed rumor.

Yevon's corruption is just a few people abusing their power, twisting a good message into a cult-like dedication. Wakka is the most notable case, but technically all of the characters go through a period of blindly believing in the teachings and Yevon and eventually finding their own path. Even Tidus, who didn't grow up believing in Yevon or knowing its teachings, finds that the people's way of life living in rightful fear of Sin has them NEEDING Yevon and the messages of kindness and compassion it preaches. Maybe they shouldn't believe in everything the Maesters say Yevon is, but he can understand the intentions behind it and how the regular, uncorrupt people just live their lives trying to be good.

Now that I think about it, the parallels between Yevon and Blitzball actually make a lot of sense - Blitzball is the entertainment people go to in order to forget about the fears of Sin, and Yevon is the religion people worship in an effort to band together and have hope against Sin. Huh. No wonder a Blitzball sign for victory became a religious thing.

Anyway, Wakka eventually apologizes! He recognizes that the Al-Bhed are just people. They don't believe in Yevon's ways BECAUSE they care, just from a different perspective. Just because they don't believe in Yevon doesn't mean they're savages, and when their Home is destroyed by merciless Guado, he hears them singing the Hymn of the Fayth to respect their fallen as well. Wakka admits he didn't want to hear anything he didn't agree with, that he was a jerk, and Cid agrees that he's hated Yevonites just for being Yevonites too.

Here's a Wakka glare just for our collective amusement.

Who were we talking about? Ah, Tidus.

Tidus is indeed a whiny character, childish, toeing the line between humor and annoyance. But he matures throughout the course of his journey, caring for the entire crew but Yuna especially. When they reach Zanarkand and learn the truth about the Final Summoning, Lulu tells him, "If you want everything, you'll end up with nothing," and he replies, "But I want everything!" His unwavering hope and optimism even when everyone is telling him it's impossible is necessary for the story, to tell the characters that yes, your sacrifices will be pretty and give temporary relief, and you'll be dead and martyred and remembered - but how can it be right? It's not.

From his basic, outsider, new perspective on this world he only just joined, it's not right. He didn't grow up with this being normal, so even in comparison to the Al-Bhed, he knows that it's not.

There's a saying somewhere that I forget the source, but basically it goes like "Children are raised to believe the world is good and fair but are outraged when they grow to learn it is not." Tidus asks what an ADULT would do, sacrificing a summoner and just moving on with their lives like it was fine to give one life for many, just happy it wasn't them. Adults are indoctrinated into a way of life and a way of thinking, and it's extremely hard to get people to change their minds - but not, as FFX proves, impossible. Both he and Yuna are still kids, kids who are still able to grow up to see the world for what it truly is.

Yuna was betrayed by Yevon, all her beliefs torn down and the hope she had placed on the system shattered. But she continued her pilgrimage. She dreamt of all the fun things she could do if she quit, knew that all of her friends and Guardians would accept her choice, but she knew she could never let it go. She stood up to the Ronso saying that she was fighting for the people, not the temples or Yevon - impressing Kelk Ronso who says she has an iron will that towers over Gagazette's peaks.

She has given her everything to this trip, but it's not fair. Just because it's the right thing to do doesn't mean it's right - and you need a character like Tidus to put his foot down and say no. Everyone is willing to sacrifice themselves, everyone is willing to be the one to die so that others can be happy. But it's not fair. It's not right to let anyone die, even if they're willing, even if it's one for many. It's a temporary fix, it's feeding an endless cycle of lies and false hope. It's not real.

But it is YUNA who ultimately makes the choice to say no. All this time, she's been insisting she keeps going despite both Rikku and Tidus's protests and desperate attempts to get her to change her mind. She's been the most resolute out of all of them to go through with this, but in the end, it's not Tidus or Rikku who kill Yunalesca before she can get the chance or present her a stirring enough argument or some alternative. No, it's Yuna who asks directly what the cycle of the Final Summoning and Sin mean, hearing that the hope they offer is false, and when asked who will be her fayth, everyone is silent, waiting for her answer - because it is Yuna'a choice, Yuna's pilgrimage, Yuna's story. And she says, "No one."

She would have gladly died for the people of Spira, but she is done. She isn't going to join into this cycle of death and lies. Her father chose to become a summoner and defeated Sin, but it was because he truly believed that it would make a difference. He died because he had hope, and maybe it was indeed false hope, but somewhere deep down, he really did want to find a way to stop Sin for good. He and Jecht went into that battle hoping that Jecht and Auron would find a way to break the cycle. And let's be honest, they did. Tidus and Yuna were brought up differently, but they end up seeing each other's sides of the story and agreeing on so many things. The people are worth fighting for even when they're being misled.

Yunalesca's argument is that sorrow will always exist, and false hope is all anyone can offer to soften the blow. But Yuna is ready to live with her sorrow and brave whatever comes from it. She will find her own hope, even without knowing there will be another way, and she knows she will conquer it. She proved it long before she reached Zanarkand, after enduring Yevon's betrayal; now her methods have changed, but her end goal is as resolute as it's always been. She's going to defeat Sin, and she's going to give people REAL hope, even when it's hard.

Yuna says no to Yunalesca. She joins in the fight to destroy the Final Summoning forever, and slowly she learns that she can function beyond Yevon's teachings. The team who made 10-2 seemed to think that Yuna needed to toughen up and become some kind of badass (which they failed at portraying, Yuna is an utter wreck in that game and let's not talk about how Rikku devolved), but she was already a freaking strong character! She stood up for herself the entire game as a strong-willed summoner willing to give her life for the cause, but she also stood up for herself by declaring she would LIVE. It's entirely in character for her, even when she's changing her mind and broadening her horizons. Yuna was the character who smiled even knowing she was on a long, slow journey that would end in her death, who was willing to do it if it would make others smile too. That is a strong character right there.

I do agree that she might not know what to do with her life now that she doesn't plan to die, but come on, don't make her into a wanna-be who tries to pretend like she doesn't care only to reveal yup she cares, what a pushover. Her caring nature is what makes her great to watch! Frustrating when she tries to do everything on her own with the Seymour thing, but entirely in character. Empowering when she makes her own choices and decides for herself. I don't know why she does nothing for two whole years during Eternal Calm but okay maybe I can see it. But for her to try doing a 180, respecting no one and no one respecting her even though she DEFEATED SIN was such a mistake. Plus the mini games in 10-2 are utterly atrocious. Anyway, tangent over.

But then the script has flipped at the end of 10. Tidus is the one that realizes Zanarkand is what Sin is protecting, that defeating Sin will make the whole city and everyone made from the dream disappear. He is the one who has to sacrifice himself for Sin to be defeated. Unlike summoners, however, Sin won't come back if he does this. He's grown across the journey just like Jecht did, following a summoner and learning what it means to want to give your life living in hope that it'll save everyone else.

Yuna has to sacrifice the Aeons she's forged her own bond with - which, remember, every summoner makes a unique bond with the aeons. She has to say goodbye to Auron, see Sir Jecht only one more time as he gives his life as an Aeon and uses the last of his power to give his sword for the final battles to fight on (did ya notice that?). Then, in the final tragic scene, Tidus becomes intangible and tries to say a cheerful goodbye, apologizing for not being able to show her Zanarkand like they had pondered when Yuna was dreaming of the things she'd do if she abandoned her pilgrimage and lived. Now, Yuna is the one having to say goodbye to the one sacrificing their life. The soft piano, the wailing of the colorful pyreflies as they disperse with all the dead, it's freaking beautiful man.

Yuna's final line hits hard too, her speech about how everyone has lost homes, dreams, and friends. They can build new homes and new dreams, even if they can't get back lost friends. "The people and the friends that we have lost...or the dreams that have faded...never forget them." Get it? Be...Because Tidus is a dream that faded? Anyway I'll just be crying in the corner over here don't mind me.

In the end, it's sort of understandable why Yuna just sits around in Besaid after the end of 10 during Eternal Calm. Maybe. Not only did she have no plans for her life after Sin was defeated (thinking she would be the one to die), but she lost her entire purpose in life AND she's reeling from the fact that even though she made the choice not to sacrifice herself just for everyone else's false hope, someone still had to give their life - Tidus. Someone still ended up dying for the cause, even after all she went through deciding to live.

The ONLY moments I actually respect Yuna from 10-2 is during the end, when Nooj volunteers a plan to give his life to win the battle (which was already stupid even before Yuna's speech because we're talking about an Unsent, Nooj your plan does nothing to stop someone who's already dead, idiot). Yuna's lines are extremely good and well voice acted too: "'We had no choice.' Always 'We had no choice.' Those are our magic words. We repeat them to ourselves again and again. But you know... The magic never worked! The only thing we're left with is regret. No. I don't want this anymore. I don't want friends to die...or fade away. I don't want battles where we have to lose in order to win."

It also demonstrates better than that stupid minigame how difficult it was for Yuna to have destroyed the aeons she had forged a bond with. What I'm saying is, fuck Beclem and everyone else who dares disrespect Yuna, summoners, and everything they went through. Even though that time and age in Spira might be over, that's NO reason to immediately scoff in the face of everything all those people went through - everything YUNA sacrificed and endured for the sake of these ungrateful whelps.

Both Tidus and Yuna were excellent protagonists of X, despite both of them having a lot of growing to do. In conclusion, let me make use of this fun poll feature if you made it this far down:

[bookofbolden]

TIMING: Early July LOCATION: A Latte to Love PARTIES: Sai ( @saithebatguy ) & Eleanor SUMMARY: Eleanor invites Sai to critique parts of her novel. WARNINGS: Familial death and depression mentions

The whole point of beta readers was to find a group of people unbiased enough to give unfiltered, unexaggerated feedback whenever it came to a writer’s soon-to-be published works. Eleanor had been on the hunt for beta readers in town for a while but everyone she thought would make a great candidate had turned out to be a really good friend of hers which then equaled automatic disqualification from her search. Living in a town where everyone knew everyone it had been hard for her to find someone that didn’t know her enough to hold back - until she’d encountered someone named Sai.

Eleanor had never met him before but they’d spoken online briefly and he seemed like the perfect person to handle the challenge of reading through a few pages and listening to her plotting in order to give a true rating on her progress thus far. He didn’t strike her as someone who would be overly interested in the task but to her that made him even more of a perfect match.

Later that night Eleanor found herself in a booth in the back of A Latte to Love with a few pages of her novel in a folder, two cups of coffee, and her hands folded nervously in her lap. Although she had promised herself that she would try and be more outgoing that didn’t mean that meeting up with strangers in person wouldn’t be any less rattling. She honestly just hoped that Sai would hear her out and not turn her away the moment she began to speak.

Sai had been flattered when the woman online had asked for his opinion, honestly. It hadn’t even really occurred to him to say no to her request, when she asked to meet up and get his feedback on some book she was working on. He did have better things to do, sure. But things were quiet with the Noxferatu this week, or at least in the sense he wasn’t really needed, so he was hardly neglecting his responsibilities there. And surely he could spare 20 minutes from his own projects and business to meet up with this woman and hear about her book.

He was surprised to see so many people in the coffeeshop this late, poring over papers, or tapping on their laptop keyboards. As he looked over the place, he realized they probably should have coordinated better about meeting. He’d had a few false tries of asking people if they were Eleanor, before he finally made it to a booth in the back.

Maybe the forth time was the charm. “Eleanor?” Sai asked, setting a hand on the table where a woman sat. She must be tired, since she had two cups of coffee next to her folder. Something about her did give the air of writer, too. “Great to meet you in person. I’m looking forward to hearing about your project.”

Eleanor looked up when her name was called and she smiled kindly at the man who stood before her. “That’s me! I had just started to message you and ask if everything was alright - I hope you’re doing well, it’s a pleasure to meet you as well, thank you so much for coming.” She was pleased to find that the stranger seemed friendly enough and as though he just might be a good conversationalist. Not that that really mattered much as she had a tendency to talk enough for two people. “Please, sit!” She motioned to the other side of the booth with both hands.

A familiar emptiness crept up her spine and Eleanor took a moment to look over her acquaintance a little closer. No emotions. She knew what that meant but there was no way for her to come out and say it, she’d learned that doing so could be dangerous. She pushed her bangs out of her eyes, a nervous habit she’d picked up ever since she’d gotten them cut just a few weeks earlier. “My publisher wants to have the book on shelves everywhere come autumn so I’ve been searching all over for beta readers, you couldn’t imagine how difficult it's been. I don’t like going the typical route of sending everything online to people, I’ve heard horror stories of other writers having their work stolen that way. I’d rather meet with the person, have them read over a few things, then take the pages back at the end of the appointment. It’s a lot more tedious but I can be sure that my original work remains original.” She nervously picked up her coffee then decided to test her theory. “Oh! I got two because I didn’t know if you’d like one or not, it doesn’t have anything added, but there’s lots of sugar here just in case it’s too bitter for you. If you’d rather skip the caffeine I’m more than happy to drink both.” Not that she needed it. She carefully slid the second cup of coffee over to Sai.

Eleanor took a deep breath before continuing. “So, my book, who’s name is still being thought over, was very much inspired by my move to Wicked’s Rest - the setting, the characters, the monsters, everything within it has been influenced in one way or another by the last year of my life. It’s a horror novel, the first of which I’ve ever written so I’m very nervous of having other people read it, but seeing as that’s the ultimate goal I need to get myself out of my comfort zone and start having it proofread. I brought small excerpts from some of the more ‘important’ and ‘exciting’ chapters, I can explain to you what I’m trying to convey in each before you read it, then you could tell me whether or not that’s how you, the reader, understood it. Or we could do it the other way ‘round, if that’s what you’d prefer. All I ask is that you be completely honest with me. If something isn’t good or doesn’t make sense please let me know, I swear that I take criticism when it comes to my work very well. I’d rather one person tell me they don’t like it than a thousand.”

Sai took a seat across the woman, smiling back at her. “Thank you,” he said, as she slid the coffee over to him. It would probably hurt her feelings if he said he didn’t like coffee or something like that. And it had been thoughtful of her to get it for him. He made a show of adding sugar to it, partly because that’s what humans did, and partly to delay pretending to drink it.

“People steal writing like that?” Sai asked. He hadn’t even considered that might be an issue for writers. Original writing hardly seemed lucrative enough to make theft worthwhile. Unless, maybe this woman was famous, and he just hadn’t heard her name before. “Does it not get copyrighted before it’s published?”

He raised his eyebrows when she started the horror book as being inspired by her time in Wicked’s Rest. Maybe she’d stumbled into the wrong part of town and found something she wasn’t expecting. Although honestly, in that case, it was impressive she was sitting here at all. She did say this was fiction, though, didn’t she? “Were you inspired by local wildlife or something like that?” It did make him a little more curious to hear what exactly was going on in this Wicked’s Rest inspired book.

“Sure, I don’t mind giving you my honest thoughts,” Sai said. It was helpful that she was laying out just what she wanted from him. He’d had no idea what giving feedback on fiction usually involved. But this seemed easy enough. “I don’t read much fiction at all, so I should be pretty free from biases on the subject.” He held out his hands in invitation, “Go ahead and describe it to me. I’m all ears.”

“Of course.” Eleanor pretended to straight up her papers as she continued to watch him add sugar to the coffee. Never before had she been unable to get a reading on someone living and she was interested to know more about Sai and how he had come to be who he was. Of course, people didn’t typically open up about things like that upon their first meeting so she would have to remain patient. That was always the hardest thing for her.

“Unfortunately yes. It isn’t the most common thing when it comes to plagiarism but I’d really rather just do it this way. Like I said, I know that I get to bring my work home with me at the end of the day and don’t have to worry about it being in anyone else’s hands. A lot of the theft happens to newer authors who tend to make the mistake of believing that copyrighting is something that’s done at the very end of the process since it’s advertised that your work doesn’t technically need to be copyrighted in order to submit it for review to an actual publisher. There’s also very intelligent criminals out there who are able to get around the law in writing just like any other field. It’s frustrating for sure.”

Eleanor opened her mouth to respond to his question but closed it again. How much could she state had been truly inspired by the town without her acquaintance being able to pinpoint every single detail and match them up with their true life counterparts? “One of the characters is based on my best friend here, yes they survive, I wouldn’t have written them in if they didn’t.” She smiled to herself before continuing on, “A lot of the setting is inspired by buildings and areas around town, I went walking around a lot when I first got here and took a lot of pictures of everything just to have an idea of how I wanted my gloomy little town to be set up. As far as the monster…” Again she hesitated. Writing about some of her experiences had been very therapeutic to her but that didn’t mean that she wanted to get into her near death experiences with a total stranger. “I suppose the monster in the story is based upon an experience I’ve had here, although it was nothing like it’s described in the book! It’s fiction, I decided to let my imagination run wild. I’ve had some unfortunate run-ins around town with unsavory characters since I’ve been here so I went into writer mode and I embellished a little. Okay, a lot.”

Eleanor couldn’t have been happier to hear his response. “Unbiased is exactly what I need right now. Okay,” she pulled out the first page and cleared her throat, “I want to start somewhere near the end when the remaining characters meet an older gentleman who lost all of his family to the monster, or the Anima as it’s called in the book. He explains to them that the Anima feeds on the souls of the living in order to live indefinitely and the more of a single person’s soul it takes, the better. Therefore his victims hardly ever survive, but he did. He goes into detail about how he would hate to be immortal because after losing his family he could not bear going through life alone forever.”

She began to read. “‘To live forever… it sounds terrible to me.’ The old man stated, his blind eyes settled upon nothing yet seeming to see the past with perfect vision. ‘I didn’t think I’d make it this long without Nancy or the boys. I know no one anymore, everyone I was once close with is gone and the world is changing - I couldn’t live forever this way. But I guess that’s the curse of immortality: to watch the world change, to see everything you know wither.’” Eleanor looked up and slid the page over to Sai so that he could read over the words himself. “I was hoping to capture the old man’s misery while also sort of foreshadowing how the survivor of the book will feel in thirty, forty years. I come back and reference this conversion at the very end.”

“Why would someone want to steal writing?” Sai was more confused now that she mentioned it happened to new writers more often. “No offense, but I didn’t think fiction was that valuable unless you’re a famous author or something.” But maybe authors not making much money was a myth. He didn’t keep up with that sort of thing. 

He nodded along as she described the town. It sounded like she’d run into something, although that could be anything from vampires to giant frogs for all he knew. That wasn’t important to what they were doing here, anyway. He listened as she described her book. He’d sort of expected that she might just give him the pages to read, but this worked well enough. Although she only made it through a short section before turning it over to him. They’d be here all night if they were going paragraph by paragraph. Maybe he should have cleared his schedule. 

Sai deliberated after she finished, tilting his head back and forth for a second, thinking. She had wanted him to be honest, kind or not. Only he hadn’t realized he had missed something, that the man speaking wasn’t speaking about his own immortality. “Well, I just think it’s not that realistic,” he said, finally. “Of course, it’s fiction, so maybe that’s what you’re going for. But being immortal, I mean, I don’t think it would be like this,” he said. 

“Just think, since I was kid,” he tried to configure when that was supposed to have been, based on how old he looked. It was a safe bet to assume that would have been before the Internet, though. “Things were really different. There was no Internet, and now there is. And like everyone’s does eventually, my parents have passed away now.” Mathematically speaking, he assumed that was true, anyway. Although it would have been after he was a vampire. They’d still been living on the last day of his human life. Something about that felt weird to think about, and he tossed the thought away. This was about her book. About her uninspired portrayal of immortality. “So things change. Why can’t this guy just meet new people? That’s what I think of anyway, when I hear that.” 

Eleanor smiled because she understood the confusion. There were a lot of people who didn’t understand the world of authors and she was always happy to try and give an inside view whenever given the opportunity. “There’s a lot of people trying to make it big if you’re able to believe that. Everyone wants to be the next Anne Rice, Stephen King, or Jane Austen. Some people want it so badly that they’re willing to take work from others that they believe will get their name out there. Writing is a very competitive area, it’s hard to get something published, much less have your name become familiar.” She herself knew that the struggle to become a household name was difficult even if her books were doing fairly well.

She leaned closer when Sai explained what he thought immortality would be like. If her hunch had been correct he would know all about being alive forever, wouldn’t he? Eleanor’s mouth fell open when she heard that his parents had passed away and she tried to form some sort of apology but decided against it. He didn’t seem like the kind of person to want her condolences anyhow. “Some people… have a hard time meeting new people.” She’d taken experiences from her own life and added them to the old man’s personality. She certainly wouldn’t have been able to move on easily from her entire family falling victim to a vicious monster. Was that too unrealistic that someone else wouldn’t be able to move on either? “Depression can sometimes, a lot of the time, be a lifelong struggle. That’s where I believed the old man to be coming from, a place of depression.” She smiled again and gently took the page back, took out her red pen, then scribbled down Sai’s feedback and what she could have improved. “When it comes to my surviving character what would you suggest to be their outlook on losing nearly everyone they know and love if not misery?” She tapped the pen against the table as she waited, genuinely interested in his response.

“I guess it seems like such a trivial thing to steal over,” Sai said. Stealing writing hardly seemed like a sustainable path to fame, but what did he know? He was never interested in that sort of thing, but he wondered if this woman was. “Is that what you’re trying to do? Be the next Stephen King or Jane Austen?” 

Sai considered what she said, her perspective on loss, on depression. Of course, he and most of the vampires he knew were pretty well adjusted. At least in the sense they didn’t spare a lot of thought for their human lives, dead and gone. That colored most of his perspective on it. But when he thought about it, he had seen plenty of new vampires who felt differently. Who were torn up with guilt over the people they’d killed and eaten. Or mourned the loss of friends and family. A lot of those vampires didn’t live long. Sometimes they outgrew it. But it didn’t seem unreasonable that there were others out there who didn’t. Ones who maybe didn’t think it wise to share those thoughts with other vampires. 

“No, it makes sense. In the short term at least, I just meant in the longer one. Eternity is a long time, right?” But of course, they weren’t talking about vampires. He heard the story, and laid his own world over the top of it. Which maybe wasn’t the most accurate. But if there was no death, no bloody transformation, to cut your life into discrete pieces, different lives, he could see how that might change things. 

“But maybe you’re right,” Sai said, with a shrug. “Maybe it’s just a different way of looking at it than my own way of thinking. That’s part of the appeal people find in fiction, right? Seeing different perspectives. I’d rather just talk to someone else usually, but I get that,” he said. He faked a sip of the sugar laden coffee, the way a living man might. “Why don’t you keep going with your story and maybe it’ll click for me.” 

Eleanor shook her head. “No, I just want to be Eleanor Bolden and I want to be good at being Eleanor Bolden. I want my name to be up there with theirs, not because we’re similar, but because we’re all damn good writers.” She didn’t want to copy anyone else’s style, what was the fun in that? And she also didn’t want to be known for reminding people of other writers. She wanted to be uniquely herself and she hoped that the world might take an interest in her and that her name might withstand the test of time as all the greats had.

Sitting back in her seat, Eleanor frowned down at the pages. “The old man doesn’t have eternity, in his own words he just has to ‘suffer through until it’s his time’. I think that’s the mindset a lot of people have, at least in my experience with speaking to different people who’ve lost… everything.” She nodded and pulled out the next few pages and handed them to Sai. It was an introduction to her favorite character and how the trip into a strange new town had come about. The character’s friends had all decided that taking a trip out of town would be the best course of action to get their friend’s mind off the recent death of her parents. It detailed how alone she felt and that she doubted she would ever be able to move on. “Here’s one of the main characters, she has a similar story but her parents passed away. I thought that having some similarities between a core character and the old man might help with the bond they eventually build. Other than going through the toughest time of her life at the beginning of the story she’s also very caring and loves her friends and is kind of the ‘mom’ of the group, doing anything she can to make sure those around her are alright even though she’s the one who needs taking care of. Tell me if you think she’s too flat. She’s one of the main focuses of the story, she needs to be well rounded. And this,” she pulled out two more pages with a description and random quotes from throughout the novel, "Is her boyfriend. He’s pretty much the exact opposite of her: boisterous, unconcerned with anything, doesn’t understand how to sympathize with his girlfriend’s grief. He’s kind of that character that every book, movie, or TV show has that the vast majority just kind of doesn’t like but has to put up with for the time being. I wrote him that way on purpose, it’s unrealistic to like everyone you meet, right? He also comes across as annoying as he spends most of his time complaining.”

Another thought had crossed Eleanor’s mind however and she suddenly became less interested in hearing his opinions about her book than she was his opinions on the supernatural. She knew of things that went bump in the night but she didn’t know if she could fully believe that there were monsters out there that gladly made the lives of those around them miserable. Could anyone, even the supernatural, be so cruel like the monster in her book? “Sai, do you…” She wasn’t sure how to get the question out without sounding absolutely ridiculous. “Do you think that it’s possible that monsters like the one in my book are real? I don't mean monsters that are running around causing havoc and making themselves known per se, but just… ones that maybe walk among us undetected? Ones that do horrible things to people in secret? It’s not something I’ve ever considered until I started writing this, but I haven’t been able to shake the thought.” Of course she knew that certain degrees of supernatural existed, her best friend was a vampire! But the thought that some less loving had the same strength and abilities and were free to use them as they pleased made a shiver run down her spine. She sighed and glanced at him then shook her head. “Sorry, I just got caught up in my own thoughts for a moment, I didn’t mean to sound insane.”

“Hm, I think maybe I missed something,” Sai said. “I thought he became the monster or immortal or something.” Projecting, maybe. But of course, that was ridiculous. His life was nothing like this story. Maybe if it was, it’d be more interesting to him. “Following fiction is not usually my thing, sorry.” He nodded, at her next comment. “You might be right about that.” It’d seemed she’d done her research on people’s reactions to similar situations. It wasn’t the type of thing Sai would think to do research on, but she was thorough, clearly. Maybe that gave her fiction an extra edge.

He gathered up the pages as she handed them over. “What would you say makes a flat or rounded character? So I know what to look for.” It felt a little out of his wheelhouse, critiquing how she’d written the character. Weren’t all fictional characters, by definition a little flat? They weren’t real people. They were just going through a story, puppeted by the writer. But he got side tracked by her next question about monsters before he could read through the pages.

“Of course not,” Sai said, almost automatically. He was happy to talk about this book with her, but he wasn’t about to start discussing undead, or similar things, with some human author he’d met off the Internet. Especially when he might be the sort of monster she was talking about. Not that he was evil or anything, not how he saw it, but to some human eyes he might be. Vampires drank human blood. It was a simple fact of life. And sometimes that blood came with a death toll. Another fact of life. Talking about it probably wouldn’t help with her book, anyway.  “It’s just fiction, right?”

Eleanor shook her head. “I apologize if I confused you. No, he doesn’t become immortal. His ‘life sentence’ as he describes it is that he has to live the rest of his life without the ones that he loves. He wishes that the monster would have taken him as well or in the place of his family. Again, sort of foreshadowing for when the survivor at the end of the story has lost everyone they know and love. My other works didn’t have much foreshadowing, everything was pretty straight forward, but I thought that it was as good a time as any to try something new since I’m jumping into an entirely new genre anyhow. Do you think I could do something differently to make it more efficient?”

Eleanor perked up at his question, happy to have a chance to educate someone on writing styles. “Flat characters don’t have anything that makes them pop - they maybe only have one true characteristic or their thinking stays the same throughout the entire story, giving them no kind of character development or growth. Round characters are more complex, they change as the story progresses, they have conflicting traits and sometimes make the wrong decisions that may upset the reader. They’re more human, less two dimensional.” She held her coffee cup between her hands and sat back against the seat. “If a writer has one goal it needs to be that their characters are changed by the story. It’s not interesting if they remain the same throughout the entire thing.”

Somehow she had expected his answer. Eleanor had come to learn that most people didn’t like to accept the fact that monsters very well may walk among them. She nodded and smiled at Sai, hoping that she hadn’t burned any bridges. “You’re right, it’s just fiction. Sometimes my mind wanders and I get to thinking that maybe… I don’t know, maybe some of it might be true. The stories had to come from somewhere, right?” She shrugged. “Anyhow, what do you think of those characters?”

Sai shrugged, “I couldn’t tell you. Do most people find it interesting to read? I think that’s probably what’s important right, instead of making it easier for people to guess.” He was pretty sure that’s what foreshadowing was anyway. “The shorter the better, in my opinion, though, for this sort of thing.” 

Her explanation of the types of characters made enough sense. She seemed to know what she was talking about, when it came to all of this stuff. People were always changing after all, weren’t they? He wasn’t the same person he’d been just a decade earlier, and this woman had given up romance novels for horror. 

“I mean I’m sure there’s real word inspiration for this sort of thing, but that doesn’t mean that it's real,” he said at her speculation on monsters. “Just like how there’s vampire bats, and that’s inspiration for all the stories about humans that do the same thing.” He thought he was making a pretty good case for it, all in all. After all, something like that was probably true, even if there was more to it. 

He turned to the pages and took a few minutes to look them over., And few minutes more after his thoughts had trailed off elsewhere. He really had no idea if they were good characters or not. They mostly seemed like words on a page to him. “I think the characters sound fine,” Sai said finally. “I couldn’t really tell you if they’ve changed or anything based on just a few pages. I’m not sure I get why you would have an annoying character, though. Even if it’s realistic, wouldn’t it make readers want to put the book down?” 

Eleanor nodded. “I love a good foreshadowing moment. It brings everything full circle once I finally get to the part of the story that was hinted at near the beginning. I get excited over that kind of thing, but then again writing is my job and passion so I get easily excited over most things that involve literary devices. I also like when the writer makes the foreshadowing a little obvious because then I’m on my toes waiting for when they tie it all together again.” She tilted her head and observed him for a moment before asking, “Do you really not feel that same sense of joy while reading?”

Eleanor found it interesting that Sai should bring up vampire bats but she didn’t say anything about it. She wondered in silence if the reason for his lack of readable emotions was because he himself just so happened to be the kind of thing vampire bats had inspired so many stories of, but she tried not to let her mind wander too much. She was there to get some unbiased opinions of her novel, not to interrogate the man sitting across from her. Perhaps another time.

“Hm.” Eleanor frowned as she tried to find the best way to describe it. “Whenever I watch a horror movie, and I’ve watched a lot in the past year for inspiration, the annoying character is just kind of expected. It’s a trope that would make the story seem almost lacking if they weren’t there. Also, it’s very possible for a writer to make a character too annoying, I’ve read lots of books where that has happened. There have been times when I absolutely could not stand the main character because they were so annoying, but I hope that I have avoided that.”

Not wanting to waste any time, Eleanor pulled out the last of the pages she hoped to go over with Sai. “These are the last two pages of the book. I know it seems weird that we’ve kind of skipped the entire middle but I was doing that intentionally. While researching I learned that a lot of horror and mystery writers start at the end and work backwards so I did that, something I’ve never done before. The surviving character is leaving town after the most traumatic time of their life. I poured a lot of emotion into it, I just want to make sure that you, the reader, are able to sympathize with them and forgive them for whatever wrong or selfish decisions they may have made while fighting for their life. Of course you don’t know what any of those decisions are since we’ve skipped over that part, but just let me know if you at least feel… something for the character for having made it out alive.”

Sai shrugged at her question. “I mean, sure, I can understand anticipation. But with reading, it always feels like sort of a waste of my time. Fiction, anyway. There’s always more I want to do and learn. To stop and read a book that’s not really relevant to the world around me…” he stopped and swirled his spoon absent-mindedly through the full cup of coffee as he looked for the words. “Well, it just doesn’t capture my interest, since I know it never really happened.” But there was clearly something there. Lots of people loved novels, if the library shelves were anything to go by. “What is it you like about fiction?” 

When Sai took the final pages from her, he already was pretty sure he wouldn’t be able to deliver what she was looking for. He’d agreed to this, expecting questions like if the logic of the story made sense, not if it made an impact on him. But here they were. 

He read through the next set of pages carefully. And he tried, he did. He tried to feel something reading through it, but there was still that voice at the back of his head. None of this really happened. “Well, I think you did a good job of showing his emotions and all that,” he said, finally, as he set down the last page. “But reading this, I just know he’s not real, you know. I don’t think that’s really about you or anything. It’s more a fiction thing. Maybe if it was someone really talking about how they got out of this alive. You know, a biography, or something like that. Maybe you could consider that for your next book.” He sat back in his chair, setting down the page. “But the writing’s nice, though, it sounds good.” 

Once again Sai proved to Eleanor why he had been her choice. He was honest but not in a rude way and he didn’t have any bias when it came to her writing. He wasn’t comparing it to others that he’d read and he also didn’t think that she could do no wrong. A nice, open-minded reader. He was just the kind of person she wanted to advertise to, people who would read her story without going in with preconceived notions. “I love it for the same reason you don’t care too much for it. It never happened. Writing and reading were the best two ways for me to get away from… difficult times in my childhood. I was able to be whoever I wanted, go on adventures, and develop superpowers. Whenever tragedy happens you can just close the book and return to life without it affecting you. For a few hours or days or weeks, however long it takes you to read, you’re transported to another world where anything is possible.”

She hadn’t meant to deliver such a monologue but if she was able to share her love for reading with someone she would never miss the opportunity. Reading and writing had in many ways saved her and she was always happy to tell that to anyone who would listen. She was passionate about it and wanted others to be passionate about it as well. Eleanor smiled. It wasn’t what she had hoped to hear but in some ways she had expected it. He’d tried his best and that was all she could ask for. “Maybe one day you’ll be able to get over the fact that it’s not real and just… enjoy it. I’d like for one of my books to be the one that makes you fall in love with fiction. One day. I have lots of years of writing ahead of me, you never know what could happen.” She would send him a copy of the book when it was finished and whether or not he took the time to read it, she would still feel happy that he had it in his possession. “I think my next work is going to be poetry, I need something light and breezy after everything this novel has taken out of me. I’m a little afraid of horror authors now, how in the world do they remain sane?” She gathered up her things, taking the pages back from him, and smiled at him one last time. “I really do appreciate this, you’ve helped me tremendously. If there’s ever anything I can do for you in the future please just message me and let me know. I now owe you.”

[damnfandomproblems]

735268800396656640 I'd like to add my 2c to this, because I have seen it a lot, and I have some theories.

The rate of people faking (and really believing they have) DID seems to have totally skyrocketed during the pandemic, and mainly among people under 18. Though I've seen it in people as old as 40! And I think there were a combination of factors at play. The first was the ease at which Tiktok videos can be consumed and even come off as suggestible to people. I've seen videos of kids sitting in front of a television reiterating very specific "tics" (better called tic-like behaviours) because they found a famous person with Tourette's and their brains started mirroring it.

The second was the lack of support systems for kids during COVID, which left them to their own devices online, often in spaces designed to garner views without any accountability or control over scientific accuracy. The lack of support systems also meant that during COVID, a lot of kids were trapped at home in abusive environments, and were, actually, being traumatized. They were experiencing real effects of trauma, like dissociation, maladaptive daydreaming, even viciously trying to imagine themselves as certain characters in the hopes if they tried hard enough, it would change reality and they would actually become that character (talking from experience here. I had a rough few years as a kid!). But because of Tiktok, they ran into people who were suggesting if they dissociated in any form, they could have DID. Then they watched another video like this, and another video. After enough times, it just becomes normal, and you start to accept it. There's a similar process to how cults work, they purposefully inundate people with BS over and over until the person just accepts it one day, except in this case it's not so intentional, just a sick accident. When this combines with the real trauma-induced escapism needs, you get kids of 15-16 thinking they have DID, when really it's more like complex PTSD or depersonalization/derealization disorder.

But on top of this, during COVID, a lot of kids didn't have the crucial opportunity to socialize with other people. They don't know about code switching. They don't know how people act, for instance, in a customer service job versus school around their friends, versus at home. Maybe they remember from previous years, but it becomes harder and harder to see it as a tangible reality after a long enough time. So they think the different moods, bubbliness, etc depending on their company isn't just normal behaviour, but actually some kind of pathology. This seems to be "corroborated" by all the videos they see online, all the people they see in servers.

Hence, we now have a young generation of people growing up believing they have an incredibly rare disorder, while simultaneously saying insanity like "I have 2,000 personality states", and somehow getting new personality states every week as a new show comes out, when DID mainly happens if someone experiences severe, EXTREME (unthinkable) ongoing trauma when they are very, very young. Not when someone is 15 or 16. You have lists of hundreds, if not thousands, of labels, and even a wiki made by people like this. And it's all over the place in fandom because, well, fandom is an escape for people. Characters are comforting. It gets very close to the heart of whatever trauma these people have gone through. Of course it's impossible to point this out, because some of those made-up labels include pejoratives that try to equate "being aware that someone is not actually suffering from DID" to being bigoted. It's anti-intellectual and effectively, again like how a cult works, cuts off the people in the group from any unbiased feedback, and it keeps them from healing.

I'm genuinely worried.

This is a response to this previous ask.

[beardedmrbean]

I’m annoyed by both sides of the conflict in Israel claiming the other is doing propaganda whilst they are telling the truth. In actuality both sides are producing propaganda and both sides have people trying to say their truth. Any conflict that tries to make their own side blameless is using some form of manipulation and I wish people would be aware about that.

That's fair, I will say that Israel has everything it does put under a microscope regularly and this is far from an exception.

Amnesty international report from Ukraine

Such tactics violate international humanitarian law and endanger civilians, as they turn civilian objects into military targets. The ensuing Russian strikes in populated areas have killed civilians and destroyed civilian infrastructure.

Bit about schools being used in there too, it's strongly condemned.

Bit about Russia where they chastise them for well

The Ukrainian military’s practice of locating military objectives within populated areas does not in any way justify indiscriminate Russian attacks. All parties to a conflict must at all times distinguish between military objectives and civilian objects and take all feasible precautions, including in choice of weapons, to minimize civilian harm. Indiscriminate attacks which kill or injure civilians or damage civilian objects are war crimes.

This is about cluster bombs, not munitions in general. It'd be like using poison gas.

I'll let you guess how many AI pieces I can find about hamass doing this kind of thing. ____________

This is not to say that Israel is innocent, there's a lot of rage there and there will be incidents of crossing the line, that's what happens in war and the people that do the crimes will hopefully be held to full account.

I just hope when the charges are filed they're filed fairly, but not much hope because they never are.

Israel has its share of troubled bits of the past, I don't think anything justifies some of the actions taken during "Operation Bayonet/Operation Hand of G*d" when they decided that they were going to take care of the people involved in the 1972 Munich Olympics massacre.

Some would disagree with me as is their right.

I will say though, for this current round I'm not terribly shocked but still mildly confused about the person waving the "by any means necessary" banner complaining about war crimes.

I really wish we could get some honest unbiased reporting out of the whole thing, but short of tapping into security camera feeds and watching it all go down I don't think that's going to be a option.

Hopefully it gets sorted before it hits the history books.

[minggukieology]

Hello hello,

I am new around here. I really enjoy Kookmin’s bond, and I am also a researcher in the narrative space. I found you on Twitter and I was so impressed with your transparent, eloquent commentary on this whole thing. Thank you for running this blog. My question might be odd, but I am really curious to see how much of this ship/fan wars translate within the Korean social media space? The last few days have been nothing less than hell on the bird app, the anon requests on some of the blogs here are just people thinking they are so slick, but are just purely undermining Kookmin’s bond. I assume Naver is like one stop destination for SNS in Korea. I also see that the members have quit Twitter officially (I have no doubt they lurk though). Are ship wars this intense in the online spaces in Korea? Is it between the same ones we see on the I-Army side? I know shipping is a common theme in the pop space there and people might have healthier approach to it? This is also me being wishful that the members don’t see the pure vitriol that’s being expressed. Thank you in advance.

Hi, there! Thanks a lot for your nice message 😊

To put it shortly: no, such shipwars don't typically happen within k-army online spaces (at least not in the same way we know them) because there is never any need for debate around any meanings of words and no wiggle room for alternative explanations and seeing hidden signs in shadows. However, that doesn't mean that I have not come across any Korean accounts on Twitter that like to twist narratives and *especially* in case when their desired narratives feed into what their non-Korean speaking followers want to hear (they do like to take advantage of that language + cultural gap). As with every assessment though, Koreans are not a monolith, the same goes for k-armys or any netizens. There are some general tendencies but there will always be exceptions. Also it is important to note, even though the fandom largely organizes on the Twitter platform, I find it it less prominent among Korean ARMYs as to the amount of time they spend on there and the conversations that are held there.

From my perspective (my subjective opinion, therefore isn't unbiased and might not be representative of the whole community) ships or to be more accurate 'duos' / 'insert name line' are first and foremost among the majority about the members' chemistry, cute moments, looks, vocals and performances together; not about any potential romantic involvement of the two (that is not to say there are absolutely no Korean shippers of course). It is important to remember that the general premise has been that the idol sells their Korean fans the idea of a boyfriend/girlfriend, therefore the whole fantasy revolves around him/her and the fans having a connection, hence why for example idol dating life is still a big no no in the public etc.

To add, sadly since Korean fans can't get away with twisting the meanings of what the boys said (unless they want to appear ridiculous and stupid) the 'wars' therefore turn more vicious than that. There are some prominent 악개 akgae groups within the BTS fandom too which use all kinds of tactics to tarnish the reputation of the other members by spreading rumors through Korean forums, discussion boards, trending tags and by even reaching out to Korean reporters to run stories based on false evidence. So I would say, these things do happen, just in a different way because Korean online space can be truly unhinged.

I don't believe the members have ever witnessed any of the craziness on the international side as it for the most part thankfully only happens on the international side (objectivelly imagine if Koreans were having real arguments over, for example, the meaning of 동생 'dongsaeng' 😂😂😂 it sounds absolutely ridiculous). And in the instances they did, when e.g. someone tried to push a 'ship' narrative on any of them directly, we got the infamous 'get out of your imagination' response.

Hope I answered your message clearly and covered all your points. Once again, thanks a lot for reaching out!

[seakrisp]

Wednesday spoilers: even though what ill say has been said already but I need to finally let it out.

again these are just some of my personal thoughts and what I think!

I'm so happy alot of ppl agrees the the "two main possible male lOvE IntERest" had little to no chemistry with her.

but first,

I'll start with everything I like:

I love everything in the show except the "love triangel romance/ romance in general" that they pushed unto Wednesday. it doesn't rlly add anything. Tyler would have had more impact if he had been a platonic trustworthy friend.

i love the Christina ricci's character was the real villain. that's a really nice bow on everything.

I love we actually saw alot of The Addams Family Dynamic in the show! like in this rendition and universe ykyk. Also always great to have more Gomez and Tish and they're relations with the town and Nevermore.

ofc how could I forget, Jenna Ortega's performance was phenomenal. I really did like the casting.

ofc wendays and enid's dynamic was everything I expected and more. everything about them I loved.

I hope we get to see more bianca bcs I'm curious to her and wendays more chilled rivalry/frenemies dynamic will be like. now that bianca don't really give a shit about xiaver. (hopefully. yall are too good for that boy. that boy needs therapy.)

Enid is literally a Walking Queer Allegory. I said what I said.

wenday and Thing are everything to me. we day's friendship with Eugene to me as well.

oke. now my complainly part/things j wished that happened instead and parts that made me say "that could've been written, chosen better.."

I've TRIED to be unbiased while watching, mostly in the "romance aspect". and I think they should've really just focused on its being about Platonic relationships yk.. they like, they didn't even have a ball to drop Yk. Like you expect Me to believe these wet limp dick white boys are gonna be.. WEDNESDAY ADDAMS 'S.. Potential.. love interest..?? youre joking.

the most annoying part about this was both Xiaver and Tyler were so... fucking entitled. like, WOW. a Girl wasn't mean to you and spoke to you with very basic surface level human decency!

Xiaver, just has a Resting Bitch Face. He didn't do anything wrong but like he's still shithead. And was annoying. (to me)

Tyler, I really wanted him to be the MLM Best Friend :(

but nay, I was wronged ofc. Tyler at first didn't really bother me as much. first few episodes, HE'S JUST SOME WHITE GUY. then it progresses He Annoys Me With a Burning Passion.

especially, That's ONE SCENE. THE "YOU'RE GIVING ME MIXED SIGNALS WEDNESDAY WHERE DO I STAND@!?#?#!@????" OH PIPE DOWN YOU ONLY GOT UR DATE IDEA BCS ENID DID THAT BIRTHDAY PARTY.

my thoughts were like: there's no way. Wednesday liked this boy. she's be manipulated and gaslit.

And yeah Last few Episodes I was correct. it gave me more reason to hate Tyler's ass and I think he should've been brutally murder yk.

I love hunter doohan's performance though, thanks for taking one for the team King <3 He played the bland straight white boy monstour murder.

Now, Enid and Ajax. they were fine.. Ajax is the basic textbook goofy, nice guy who does weed, that just has madusa snake hair—

and omg I laughed so hard when he stoned himselfed like that, it's so perfect and stupid that a teenager with that ability would have the happen to them. it was so fucking funny to me.—

they're relationship is so shallow and mid to me idk. I mean, they do act like a typical teenage het couple.

it's just that, Enid liking a boy who she barely talks obsessesing over him but then also when she got stood up by him. Enid started liking another boy that she just talked to sharing same interests but mostly again just very bare minimum.

I'm not saying she's a shallow person, more say.. yk just a subconsciously finding and filling that, " you have to have a nice boyfriend bcs that's how the world is supposed to be " box...

in short yk, compulsory hetero normativity.

like cmon.. WHAT DO YOU MEAN UR MOM WANTS YOU TO GO TO "CONVERSION CAMP" ? WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHEN YOU WANTED HER TO ACCEPT YOU AS YOU ARE? WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WOLFED OUT JUST IN TIME YOU WANTED TO SAVE WEDNESDAY? what do you mean you didn't run into ur bf's after something traumatic but instead run into ur roommates to give her a hug like she'll never let go?

yeah. basically most of my complaints are in the romance. it's Criminally hetero. and I've dealt with alot of hetero relationships endgame media that would have made more sense and thematical it was queer.. augh. I'm gonna watch warrior nun.

I genuinely hope they were very intentional with writing Enid and Wednesday literally the only one with romantic tension and queer subtext..

like, cmon. Wenclair has paralleled Gomez and Tish so much in this show. be for fucking real.

okay that's it. most of what I've said has been said. last thing I wanna say is thank you for your time and effort to read this and.. Wednesday is both queer coded and autism coded.

[juniperhillpatient]

The Awakening

It was interesting to re-watch this episode because I remember being annoyed with Aang a lot during Book 3 the first time I watched this show & because the comics/parts of fandom / more thinking about it have increased my dislike for the Katara/Aang romance, I expected to be angrier at Aang. But, I actually feel like thinking about it more made me less mad at Aang for running off & behaving the way he does than the first time I watched.

I still don't think it's fair to send Katara away when she's trying desperately to help, but I get why he does it. Aang has spent the entire series learning to accept his destiny as the Avatar & a huge part of that is being a symbol of HOPE for the world. Learning that he has to be a secret now? That the world thinks that he's gone & that he failed? I can see how that would lead someone to push people away & want to do everything alone...Especially because Aang is also struggling with how awful he feels about the fall of Ba Sing Se. So, I hate how he pushes Katara away, & I hate that he tries to abandon the Gaang, but...I'm still sympathetic to him, possibly more than the first time that I watched, having put more thought into it.

Alright, shocking to no one the dynamic between the Fire Siblings is the most interesting part of this episode to me. I also found the scene where Mai checks on Zuko & tells him not to worry really cute. I need more of the Dangers Ladies Feat. Zuko as a group in my life. I'm sad we didn't see Ty Lee, but I guess there wasn't time. Zuko is struggling with fears about coming home & it shows.

[ID: Azula standing & looking at Zuko. end id]

Alright. The turtle duck pond scene. Let's talk about it.

Everyone shut up I am thinking about how cute it is that Zuko goes right to the turtle duck pond to feed them it's probably one of the few places on the palace grounds he finds comforting...

The million-dollar question in the fandom seems to be - did Azula already know that Aang had survived?

I obviously have a bit of an agenda here I won't deny that. I'm a huge fan of Azula. I do think she was redeemable, & I have chosen fire siblings reconciliation as possibly the main focus of my fandom experience or at least A Main Focus. So, like, I'm not gonna pretend to be unbiased. BUT I do think that I've hopefully made it clear that I'm not interested in denying anything evil Azula did, or making her a victim where she wasn't, or whatever. I just like to examine character motivations & make them make sense. So - long story short - I do not think there is any way Azula could have possibly known that Aang survived before Zuko gave it away because he sucks at lying.

Let's look at the scene in context:

Azula: You seem so downcast. Has Mai gotten to you already? Though actually, Mai has been in a strangely good mood lately. [smiles]

Zuko: I haven't seen Dad yet. I haven't seen him in three years, since I was banished.

Azula: So what?

Zuko So, I didn't capture the Avatar.

Azula: Who cares? The Avatar is dead ... [Zuko looks away.] unless you think he somehow miraculously survived.

Contrast this with the way they were both welcomed home - as war heroes. Lo & Li give a huge speech about how Zuko & Azula are heroes & amazing & everyone should love them etc (& they're so right.)

I have consistently brought up Zuko's inability to lie throughout this rewatch & I think it bites him in the ass here. Azula is smart. She's a good lair herself, & she can pick up on it when other people do it - especially Zuko.

So, I think that Azula's original intention was to bring Zuko home as a war hero. She genuinely viewed Ba Sing Se as a victory & believed the Avatar was dead & the Fire Nation was doing amazing & to her, that was great. I think that what people who want to view Azula as an evil mastermind forget is that she kinda still IS one if you read it from this perspective, you just need to keep in mind her ACTUAL motivations. Azula's world doesn't revolve around bringing Zuko down, her world revolves around SERVING THE FIRE NATION & her father. Azula bringing Zuko home a hero doesn't take away her villain card or whatever it is people who refuse to see it this way are worried about. It just remains consistent with her motivations. Azula would want to see the royal family intact. You have to remember, Azula views herself & the Fire Nation as the GOOD GUYS. It's what she's been taught. They're not, & pushing Zuko to betray Iroh was objectively bad for the protagonists. But from AZULA'S perspective, she was doing a good thing for the royal family.

I also do think that yes, Azula wanted to help Zuko. The thing about Azula is that she is on the wrong side of the war, but she's not an unfeeling monster, she's a teenage girl. She likely did miss her brother & think she was doing him a huge favor.

The Bedroom Scene Tm. I said I had a controversial reading & you all assumed I meant Zucest vibes. And I did. But I also actually meant I just STILL don't view this as Azula being an evil monster lmao & I mean, that's not controversial among Azula fans, but it kinda is in the larger fandom.

[ID: Zuko glaring at Azula while she smiles. end id]

Zuko confronts Azula, & she teases him & insinuates that the Avatar might be alive. I read this as Azula trying to sus out whether the Avatar is still alive, TBH. Then, Zuko all but confirms what she already got from their turtle duck pond conversation.

So like, TLDR: Azula wasn't ORIGINALLY trying to use Zuko as a fall guy but once he made it obvious the Avatar might still be alive, THEN yeah, she was trying to save her own ass.

Oh, okay, & some quick criticisms of the #Narrative Framing or whatever...This is the first episode where we get a clear view of Zuko. I want to say that I do really love the scene between Zuko & Ozai contrasted against the scene between Katara & Hakoda, that was just an excellent parallel. It also shows us that our main villain is becoming a major player. I'm ok with Ozai as a background figure throughout Book 2, but I think that Book 3 would have been stronger if they leaned more into Ozai as the Big Bad rather than continuing to frame Azula as the Big Bad like she was in Book 2. This season we get a lot more of Azula's interiority as a character, & more sympathetic moments.

And just to be clear, I'm not against the fact that Azula is still a villain. Sorry fellow Azula Redemption truther girlies, but I'm of the belief that there was not time for her to have a redemption arc in Book 3. It could have been hinted at, we could have gotten a more hopeful ending, but there wasn't time for her to abandon her loyalty to the Fire Nation. So, I'm NOT saying "it was time for the show to STOP framing Azula as a villain." I'm SAYING.....Well, they could have given us more scenes with Ozai like the one in this episode to really concrete his spot as the Big Bad Tm. I liked what we got in this episode, I wish we could've gotten more. I guess that's what I'm trying to say.

Alright, so I've rambled enough about the Fire Nation royal family....Uh....There are other characters in this show...

I have nothing much to say about Toph or Sokka in this episode other than that Toph gets +1000 iconic behavior points for using metal bending to defend their ship. Katara gets +1000 for her use of water-bending to help. I don't dislike Sokka in this episode, he just didn't do much worth analyzing.

The only other scene that I want to focus on before I end this incredibly long review.....Is one of my favorite scenes in the series. I love the scene between Katara & Hakoda.

The entire buildup of Katara acting distant & angry from her father & talking about Aang prioritizing the greater good over what she needs & Hakoda realizing that she's talking about him too is just...STELLAR writing. I get emotional every single time. I also think that these feelings Katara is having, serve to explain further why she let Sokka reunite with their father last season rather than going herself.

[ID: Katara crying as she hugs Hakoda. end id]

Katara: [Embraces Hakoda.] I understand why you left. I really do, and I know that you had to go, so why do I still feel this way? I'm so sad and angry and hurt!

Hakoda: I love you more than anything. You and your brother are my entire world. I thought about you every day when I was gone and every night when I went to sleep, I would lie awake missing you so much it would ache.

I'm not crying, you are.

And the ending of the episode serves as a nice thesis for the season. Aang does return to the group & agrees to go undercover. Having to hide his staff & his arrow....That's pretty sad. I think it shows how much Aang has grown throughout the series so far that he is willing to do it though. That's all I have for now!

[disabled-stuck]

I’m so sorry but what is antiship? You’ve drawn ships before on this account so I’m a little bit confused

shipping discourse 101 since unfortunately fandom is rampant with this:

proship and antiship are simplified terms that have been used to describe a persons stance on the portrayal and shipping of incestual, pedophilic, and if i remember correctly other unhealthy pairings in fan content.

proshippers believe, at least generally, that any portrayal of the above is fine and/or good. sometimes with the argument of it being as a coping mechanism, sometimes just because they find it attractive (?)

antishippers are staunchly against that, stating that it's unhealthy to show these relationships in any portrayal that could be taken as positive, a stance that has been said to be backed by mental health professionals (though i havent fact checked that.)

what tends to happen with these two stances is that people will get very, very upset if someone disagrees with their stance, to the point where many people have been sent death threats, and due to this i'm kind of really sick and tired of shipping discourse. i don't like the proship mentality, it makes me pretty uncomfortable, but at the same time all of the people who are heavily involved in shipping discourse... it's just a whole mess, to summarize.

i hope that answers your question? i tried to take an unbiased standpoint, as much as i really don't like proshippers i don't want to get involved in this shit anymore

[femmefatalevibe]

hi love, i need some unbiased piece of advice from a stranger, i feel really stuck in life after going through a lot of trauma and i feel really overwhelmed as to where to start rebuilding myself from and getting in touch with my dark feminine energy. I feel really drained and I know I have a lot of repressed emotions inside me. Even though I have a clear plan of what I want my life to look like I can’t, well, begin, i feel weak & stuck in a toxic cycle that I have created for myself. What would you recommend for getting unstuck, moving forward, and getting in touch with myself again? It really pains me to my core that I’m only 25 and feel so fed up with life, I’ve seen so much death, I’ve been through things that people twice my age have not experienced and I’m so damn overwhelmed. I know what I’m capable of, however i am really struggling to get it out of myself.

p.s. I really tried to put in words how I feel, sorry if it’s too much, that’s the gist of it, thank u🤍

Hi love. I'm sorry that you're going through this and have had so much trauma in your life. If possible, I would really recommend seeing a therapist or mental health professional as a checkup for our minds/energy is essential for our overall well-being.

My general advice would be to take a step back and consider your values, goals, and desire in every aspect of your life. Compare these desires to your current reality, daily routines/habits, and relationships. Then, devise a plan to habit-stack your way into working towards your goals/dreams. Learn and set boundaries as needed as you go. Read books. Try new things. Learn skills. Eat and sleep well. Move your body. Drink water.

If you want to work together, feel free to book a session or message/email me to create you a personalized PDF (which will be invoiced). Otherwise, feel free to explore the self-discovery content on my page.

Hope this helps. Sending love xx