#i really hope this makes some amount of sense
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I kinda really love “Robiin II: Becoming the Monster” because it contrasts the brightness and excitement that “becoming the magic!” encompasses. But what I really like about it is how if there’s an emphasis throughout about his view of himself and how others see him.
Wasn’t he buried next to Sheila? Bruce focuses so hard on how Jason died(does he even know that Sheila led Jason to the joker? That he was just trying to help his mom, that he didn’t just run off recklessly and confront the joker? That at the last moment Sheila, instead of immediately running off tried to help Jason because of how selfless and brave he was but it was too late for them?) that what he remembers of Jason becomes almost warped by every small interaction that could have been a “warning sign” of what was to come. Every close call, every disagreement, every expression of anger from his child is now overshadowing who he actually was. And tbh he still loves Jason dearly and cares for him and his light and hope but after Jason’s death he becomes especially unforgiving, most of all to himself, so he’s remembering what he thinks he should have seen
From growing up in crime alley, people who don’t even know him hear that and just assume he’s violent or destined to become a criminal(probably something he hears a fair amount after he gets adopted by Bruce from higher society members and the media). Maybe he learns from Talia’s sources about how his entire memory has basically been moulded into this tragic thing. The words that travel far enough to reach him are the cruelest. Talking about how he was reckless, how him dying was inevitable, maybe about the memorial in the cave. There’s this one panel set where Talia tells catatonic!Jason that Bruce misses him and that Jason(and dick) gave him hope as Robin and he cries
How he views himself, with his going against some of the rules Batman ingrained in him. How it feels right but also like a betrayal even though he’s so angry with Bruce.
Even physically too ! Dying at 15, losing more than a year of time, did his revival or the Lazarus pit reduce the effects of any malnutrition as a kid? Did he have a growth spurt? Does his body even feel like his? It must be incredibly disorienting and dysphoria inducing to die in one state and basically emerge from that water in a body he can’t remember growing in to. Muscle memory and habits that are unfamiliar.
Becoming the monster is just him learning how to exist. How to help in a way he thinks can actually work. The joker got out and he died, he grew up seeing people get hurt after the system failed to protect them again and again and so his training and returning to Gotham was part of a plan to show that to Batman. To make a Statement that he doesn’t think that things can stay the same and get better.
Him seeing Tim in all that armour could be reinforcing his view that he wasn’t as valued/ was more disposable. Or maybe he takes this as Batman caring enough to add more protection to this new kid but not enough to get blood on his hands and stop the major threats that would endanger him the most.
Ok I’ve gone off on a super tangent and was trying to pay attention to a conversation at the same time so maybe this doesn’t make any sense or is relevant at all but I just really like “Robin 2: becoming the monster.” Jason embodying the whole “I may be a terrible person but at least I’m taking a bunch more down with me and proving a point while I do”(or at least trying to! He thinks he’s making a very good and reasonable point and this is about him so that’s what matters). And I just love imagining talias support of him through all of this being portrayed as mostly background or insignificant in the face of how much he’s Feeling except for a few small moments where like maybe it’s a flash back or a v/o of a line of her supporting him would be like <33 especially if it happens during like a scene with Bruce to set her as a contrast adult/parental figure in his new second life. Or when he’s killing someone Talias line from lost days where Jason’s like “[blah if I kill this person] don’t tell me the world isn’t better off. Why are you smiling?” And talias like “you’re learning” and he’s all intense like “yea guess I am”
Idk just Jason not thinking he’s a good person but still thinking the terrible and even monstrous things he’s doing aren’t necessarily wrong and are even good is just such an important part of his character and I love that for him and that title was just yesssss and I could talk about Jason for hrs and I’m not going to edit this so I’m so sorry if it doesn’t make sense but your brain is so big and this thread is wonderful
There's a post about wanting a story about Jason's time as Robin. I made a reblog of it so long ago, but I can't stop thinking about it.
I want to watch Jason's flight as Robin, but the entire story he's haunted by the future we all know is going to come.
When he first grabs his tire iron, he has the choice of taking a crowbar instead.
Subtle purples or greens pop up when he's in danger (but not necessarily the Joker).
He frees a bird trapped inside a warehouse.
He rescues a kid who was kidnapped by their mom and returns them to their dad.
So many dead or injured birds
While helping Alfred with gardening, he breaks a nail
Gun magazines at many scenes
Motorcyclists wearing red helmets
Someone's bubbling jacuzzi has a green light on
Duffle bags
He helps hold a bandage to someone's neck until paramedics arrive
Jason reads Frankenstein while at the Manor
An ad proclaims their coffins to be the sturdiest
Just his Robin story being jammed packed with foreshadowing.
It'd also be rad to have Easter Eggs:
Someone makes a comment about assassin kids
When talking to Bruce about something, on the batscreen is a very short file about "One Who is All"
Someone at a gala mentions the Drakes' newest archeology find
Kids at Jason's school chat about meta powers and how cool controlling light is
When visiting the hospital, the nurse introduces herself as Crystal
The buildup of the audience watching Jason, who's unaware of his future, continuously face sign after sign after sign? The irrational hope that maybe someone will notice the universe basically screaming about the future? Nobody notices as more and more signs pop up. It's maddening but so intriguing.
Jason's story of Robin would follow him as he goes from being desperate to survive to thriving. His paranoia that it's too good to be true thrums in his veins, but he learns to ignore it. He's fed, loved, and flies over Gotham every night. There's conflict, sure, but he's figuring out. It's okay.
The signs start out slow and subtle. As he starts to reach towards the end, they get more and more obvious. They occur more often.
Jason doesn't know when it all goes wrong, but he's figured it out before.
We don't see him lose hope until the very end.
EDIT:
Here's the og post I was referencing
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It's driving Eddie insane.
There's no fucking way the 2 things can be true. Either Steve stole Eddie's porn, his prized magazines full of hot boys covered in piercings, tattoos, and mouthwatering amounts of leather. Or... OR! Steve happens to own the same magazine. Eddie can't believe either thing is true. Maybe it was a prank? Some sick homo-mag that his basketball buddies slipped him some time... that he kept for over a year at least? Yeah. Sure, Munson.
"Soo... Beefcake?" Eddie leans over the counter at Family Video, making sure his tatted tits are on full view in front of Steve.
Steve lowers the paper he's reading. "Am I supposed to be Beefcake?"
Eddie plasters his world-famous shit-eating grin across his face, scooting slightly left so he chest is firmly in front of Steve's pretty eyes. "Only Beefcake I see regularly without some serious payment on my end."
Steve coughs in surprise. "Not taking the bait, Munson. What brings you in, anyway? Are you trying to get Rocky Horror again? I think someone besides you actually rented it this week."
"Really?" Eddie sighs, then perks up, remembering the real reason he was here. "No, uh, I wanted to ask..." His courage runs out halfway through his sentence.
Steve smiled softly at him, his cow eyes framed by those perfect eyelashes and... FOCUS MUNSON.
"I wanted to ask if you had read anything good recently? Maybe any good magazines?"
Steve raises an eyebrow. "Did Robin put you up to this? She said you freaked out after I left my porn out on my nightstand on accident when you slept over. Are you homophobic or something?"
Eddie practically loses his balance. "Steve- we- you- I'm-" He stumbles through forty different responses. "I'm not homophobic."
Steve shrugs. "Are you mad it had guys and girls in it? It's not the 70s anymore, Munson-"
"We own the same BDSM Leather Daddy magazine."
They stare at each other for a second.
Steve clears his throat. "Well, I was kind of hoping you'd have jock porn or something, but your type is your business."
"Why would you hope I had jock porn?"
There's a loud throat-clearing noise from the break room, Robin peaking her head out. "Can you two take your horrible flirting somewhere else? I'm getting traumatized over here."
"Sorry, Rob." They mumble in unison.
"Thank you." She says, before spinning away in her chair.
Steve leans in and whispers. "I was hoping you had jock porn because then all the times you bent over the counter and shoved your tits in my face would make sense."
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nct jisung oneshot
request for anon: you have a kid without your highschool boyfriend ever finding out. sorry this request took a long while my life has been so insane lately that I haven’t had time to do much of anything besides work. Anyways enjoy ✨
warnings/headsup: light swearing • teen pregnancy • tiny bit of angst • major fluff fest • 7.8k words • female reader • light proofread • jisung x reader kiss • melodrama • crisp autumn vibes • dad!jisung • D/N = daughters name • miscommunication • so much cheesiness
Moving On: Jisung x Reader pt. I/I
High school was a complicated time for Jisung. He was managing school, keeping up with friends, dealing with his overbearing family, and a slew of extracurriculars, all while making sure to pay attention to you; his girlfriend. Sometimes it all felt like too much, sometimes he felt like he should just quit. Nevertheless, you were always there to support him. You were constantly by his side and that’s what really mattered. Whether it was bringing him snacks in between classes, helping him study during free periods, waiting for him at the dance studio while he practiced, or just being a shoulder to lean on and a safe space to vent whenever he may have needed it you were there... Jisung couldn’t even express how grateful he was for having you around! Even with all his appreciation and love for you however, he still wasn’t aware of just how far you were expending yourself to keep him happy and healthy.
People often joked about just how close you two were, how you were like second mother to Jisung and his entire friend group, the way you were always ready and able to give them rides and take care of Jisung and all the people important to him. Jisung’s mother would have probably said the opposite. Though she was never overt about it you know she didn’t like you. She would scowl whenever Jisung left you two alone together and the smile she forced on her face whenever he brought you home was just about the fakest thing you’d ever seen. Jisung always tried his best to talk you up to his parents, but where his mother was stubborn and resentful, his father was uninterested and indifferent. He didn’t want to believe that the people that had raised him couldn’t see in you what he saw, it pained him to think about so he just didn’t. He was in complete denial most times about the relationship between your two families and the fact that you came from much lower economic means didn’t help your case. When he first pitched the idea of you being his girlfriend to his mom and dad that was the very first thing they pointed out in fact! That didn’t stop him however. He would just tell himself that they were overly protective and that you and his mom were actually quite similar. You two would have to get along at some point… at least he hoped you would…
Jisung almost never failed to point out your motherly instincts: to protect him from bad news, to make sure he excelled in everything he did, to simply keep his head afloat. Unfortunately, no one knew just how that instinct would eventually have to develop. For better or for worse that instinct might have just been the end of the life you were once so used to.
It was late spring when you started noticing a bizarre sense of dread in the air as the reality started to set in for everybody that lives were starting to shift and change, and relationships were experiencing a much different sort of ebb and flow. No wonder you felt a little sick, it was the dread in the air! Right?
Sometimes your period was late… but it was never this late... You had no idea what you were supposed to do in a moment like this! A wave of anxiety washed over you and your body as you began to feel queasy. You felt nauseous, and even a fair amount afraid. This might have been the absolute worst time in your life for something like this to happen! You were so close to wrapping up high school. Senior year was supposed to be the last year of you and your peers lives before becoming "real" adults. You were deciding which university to go to and what subjects to major in. You were getting ready to say goodbye to friends and unfortunately hadn’t yet had the sit down talk with your boyfriend about if he was comfortable going long distance or even staying together at all…
You loved Jisung, you really did, but you also loved the idea of a bit of freedom. You would never explicitly say that to him for fear of hurting him or just sounding like you wanted to complain, but you were tired. Tired of being so busy, tired of so many people depending on you, tired of always being referred to as Park Jisung’s girlfriend, tired of his family looking down on you and yours. You honestly thought that most people had forgotten your name at this point. You wanted something of your own, something to explore outside of and away from Jisung, however sweet he was. You thought that college might be time for a change! A chance to reinvent yourself apart from your high school boyfriend and the hovering hand of his mother. No matter how lovely and accomplished he was, you two couldn’t be together forever right? At least that’s what you told yourself. You thought of your parents, you thought of Jisung’s parents. You were sure that if the Park family didn’t already detest you they surely would now. You dreaded what two little lines on a flimsy piece of plastic might mean for all of that. His parents already thought of you as unsophisticated, a burden to Jisung’s future and this would not help your case. You knew you had to tell Jisung while he was still around but you just didn’t know how… but first you had to be sure what you were planning on telling him.
You sat on the cold porcelain of the toilet seat all alone but face still flushed with warmth from embarrassment. You got up and washed your hands and gave yourself a once over in the mirror. You barely recognized your own visage. The bags under your eyes had bags, and the dark circles looked more like new permanent attachments than temporary indications of sleepiness. You subconsciously prayed to whatever god was out there that your period was just late again this time. “It’s just two or three weeks” you told yourself looking back to your reflection in your bathroom mirror and plastering on your best cheery smile. It only lasted a moment but for a fragment of a fragment of a second you were almost smiling genuinely no matter the result.
You went and did a quick lap around your house to release as much pent up stressful energy as possible but also to make sure your parents really were out of the house. You peeked out through the living room curtains one last time just making sure that there were no cars other than your own parked in the driveway. You ran back up the stairs as soon as you heard the faint ringing of the alarm you had set on your phone. You couldn’t stop the trembling of your hands as you picked up the little pink and white pregnancy test you had set on the edge of the counter. You sucked in a deep breath, inhaling sharply through your nose as the sheer terror and excitement of what you were looking at created a blockade in your throat. You felt a tingling sensation all over, unable to properly breathe, only sucking in air for another few seconds before finally letting out your first breath in what felt like several minutes.
Although, it wasn’t just any regular breath, it was a laugh. Well less of a laugh and more or a low groan that slowly turned into a chortle. You practically keeled over as you fell to the ground on your hands and knees, stomach and back heaving as sloppy tears fell down on the sides of your face and almost splashed back into your eyes with the velocity at which they hit the tiled floor. You didn’t know what your reaction would be once you looked at the test but you definitely did not expect this! You were so afraid before, so worried, so adamant that you wanted, needed it to be negative! Now here you were staring at the two thin lines on the near microscopic test screen indicating a positive result and all you could think of was how you hope’d it’d be a girl.
𖦹
“So I have good news and I have bad news” you whispered to Jisung as you two sat in the back of the school library “do you want to hear the good news or the bad news first”?
“Uhm I don’t know… I guess the bad news” he said.
You screamed internally, wondering why he just had to choose the bad option first. Jisung rifled through several books struggling to pick one for a final paper, paying you little mind as he laced his fingers through yours absentmindedly and dragged you down each aisle of bookshelves behind him.
It had been about a day or two since you had taken the test and you had even talked it over with your parents. They were understandably uneasy at first when you said you planned on keeping the child but you assured them that you would absolutely keep working on your studies. You told them you would talk to Jisung yourself and figure out the rest from there, and all your parents could do was support you and whatever decisions you made, the best they possibly could. They could see the stress in your eyes as you mentioned next steps. Though your parents supported your relationship they weren’t too fond of Jisung’s family either. The pretentious nature and lack of grace when talking about their son’s girlfriend, your parent’s daughter, it made them upset to say the least. The thought of having to join your two families was the last thing they wanted to think about right now. You explained to them in detail exactly how you wanted to move forward with your life and what you planned on telling your boyfriend in the process. “Just let him down easy” your mother said, knowing how difficult of a conversation this would be, especially to have so young “don’t tell his mom… tell him.” Your mother’s voice was emotional and awkward and your dad gave you a half hearted smile and stiff hug. Their words rang in your head as you looked up at Jisung.
“Are you sure you want to hear the bad news first?” You asked, hoping that if you told him the good news was that you were pregnant, he would already be on board to end the relationship and you wouldn’t have to say what you had to say next and his mom would never have to be proven right about how messy she thought you were.
“No I want to hear the bad stuff first and just get it over with” he said reaching over you with ease to grab a book off the highest shelf. “Hey do you think this would work?” He clicked his tongue paging through whatever novel he had picked up this time.
You sighed… “okay but it’s really important so I need you to really listen!”
Jisung continued checking out books and only really half listening to you. “Of course” he said as he carried on skimming all the literature around him.
“Jisung I’m serious! I didn’t want to do this here but this is the first time we’ve been alone together all week!”
“Totally…” he responded
“Jisung look at me!”
“I am looking at you…” (he wasn’t). He kissed your hand tenderly, muttering the words on the page he was looking at to himself.
“Jisung!”
“What babe?”
His nonchalance angered you. Couldn’t he tell how upsetting this was for you? “Jisung I want to break up!” You swore you could hear a pin drop on the complete opposite side of the library. You felt like your heart was going to jump out of your chest in the time it took for Jisung to fully absorb what you had said. Those few seconds felt like an eternity, but once they were over you already wanted to go back to before you had said anything.
“You’re joking…” he said, actively scoffing in your face.
What ensued was potentially the first and only ever argument between you and your then, now ex boyfriend. All you really remembered was how he kept asking "why". You told him all the little reasons, how you wanted space, how you couldn’t do long distance, how your families would never get along, but you omitted the most important reason... Sure those other things were true but you also just couldn’t see yourself raising a child with the first guy you had ever slept with, and Jisung had so much going for him, you knew there was no way a dance career could have him stationed in one place long enough to focus on a new family. His mother would never let him have a kid with you, you just knew it! She would think you were trapping him, his father would question you incessantly, and Jisung would eventually have to choose between his prospective future or yours. So you decided to choose for him.
“So we’re just over then” his voice was hoarse and defeated “you don’t want to see me again”…
All you could do was nod “this one should work well, it fits all the criteria for the paper”. You said, handing Jisung a hefty book of the shelf, helping him for seemingly the last time…
You couldn’t completely avoid Jisung the last few weeks of school. You both had sort of silently agreed to keep as much distance as possible, only speaking to each other when absolutely necessary. When people asked why you two had broken up you both had slightly different answers but they both went along the lines of “growing apart.” It really hurt to think about, especially all that was left unsaid but you simply had to trudge forward. The last time you saw Jisung was at graduation where you each exchanged a friendly yet faintly sour handshake and wished each other good luck. You watched the smug smile on his mother’s face as you two parted ways and the way she turned up her nose when your dad foolishly went in for a cordial handshake.
You sort of regretted not telling him about your ‘situation’ but you also felt like it was for the best! You thought you might never see him again and once your daughter D/N was born nothing else mattered. You put off school for a bit, moved to a new town and got very used to living alone with just you and your little girl. You put all your best skills to use once you had entered university. All your experience planning, keeping others organized, staying on task, and being a mother really lended itself to your field and your incredible business acumen was undeniable. You worked hard to make sure that you and your daughter could live in the best house, afford the nicest dinners, get the very best babysitters, and whatever else would make the little one’s life easier.
Obviously you still thought about him. Every time you looked at your child’s face you saw him. Every laugh, every cough and sneeze, every silly statement, every whine just reminded you of him. She never asked about her father but you wondered if she would eventually start. You sort of did want her to meet Jisung but your life had changed so much since, you wondered if after all these years if he would even care. You weren’t immune to looking him up every now and then or asking your parents if they had heard any news about him or his family. You suspected he would be angry or hurt if he found out, and he had every right to be. Despite that though, you still just wanted to see him again, even if it was just to yell at you for lying or cuss you out, even for just a brief moment you wanted to see him…
𖦹
“There’s no way… there’s no way…” Jisung muttered to himself slowly bringing his shopping cart to a halt and planting his feet firmly in the middle of the aisle. People gave him dirty looks and confused stares. He stood there, oblivious, only focused on a woman about his age, a woman he’d recognize anywhere even from a hundred feet away, a woman who nearly shattered his heart into a million pieces and broke up with him before moving across the country and becoming the most successful person from their high school by a mile. It couldn’t be, or rather it shouldn’t be!
What were you doing back in your home town? He wondered. The last he had heard you graduated college with about a million academic achievements under your belt, and were making more money than he could ever dream of at some big conglomerate. Though there you were, same put together appearance, same pretty face, same sweet voice, bending over to talk to a little girl who looked just like you. He did a double take, rubbing his eyes underneath his glasses just to make sure he was really seeing what he thought he was seeing. He squinted and blinked and did just about everything he could to clear his vision but nothing changed. All he saw was you.
He felt like he had to say something… if he didn’t he thought he might go insane. What kind of guy would he be to just ignore your presence. Sure you two hadn’t ended things on the best note but that was years ago, and you were just kids at the time! Maybe you’d forgiven him at this point. At one point Jisung wasn’t sure if all the resentment he once held for you was gone but seeing you in person just confirmed that it was. There was no reason to be mad anymore. He really missed you. He just wanted to talk to you again…
Was it really you standing there? The child didn’t look that old but was she really yours? Had you moved on so quickly after leaving town, after leaving him? Who were you with now? His head was spinning like a freshly oiled revolving door and full to the brim flooded with questions.
Jisung felt like his stomach did a 360 degree flip as he tepidly approached you. “Y/N” he stated more than asked hoping but already knowing it was you. Though, in case he was wrong he braced himself for a much more awkward encounter.
You almost dropped the can of food you were holding blinking rapidly and registering the person before you. “Jisung?” You said, giving him a once over. He was somehow even taller now with jet black hair and dark thick rimmed glasses slightly covering his tired brown eyes. He was as cute as ever. There he stood looking pretty much the same as he did when you left, but boy was he handsome!
“Jisung what’re you doing here?” You asked out of impulse, already knowing the answer. You acted like you hadn’t heard he was in town from your mother who ran into his folks a couple weeks ago, who proceeded to unabashedly brag about their son to her. Of course you then immediately went and stalked him on social media.
“I- I came back recently for a family reunion…” his face was a bit strained as he said it and then he trailed off, noticing the little girl who shyly held your hand once more. Up close she looked ever more like you, down to the way she looked him up and down and examined him with curious eyes. She stared without a shred of recognition on her face or in her eyes but still refused to break eye contact with the strange adult towering over her. He also couldn’t help but notice the way her cheeks rounded out the same way his did as a child and how her face transitioned into the same confused expression he made, mirroring him perfectly.
“What are you doing here?” He said trying his best to look at you and to not stare back at the little girl clinging to your side examining him like a foreign creature trapped behind bars at the zoo.
“I’m visiting my parents” you said clearing your throat a bit “with my daughter.” You raised her little hand trying to make her wave.
“How old is she?” He asked, mentally doing the math of just how long ago you two broke up.
“She’s five…” you said bashfully. You tried to run every possible scenario in your head about what the best course of action would be in this moment. Was it selfish to just keep the information to yourself, or was it better to just tell him now. Maybe the grocery store wasn’t the best place to let Jisung know that you’ve sort of been hiding a secret daughter from him for the past five years, but also the longer you hid it from him the worse you felt. You had to tell him, it really felt like now or never. You had kept her from him for so long it just felt cruel at this point. Plus, even though your daughter was young the way she eyed Jisung up and down made you feel paranoid enough that she had already figured it out herself. Maybe Jisung already knew too, maybe he wanted nothing to do with you or more importantly with her, but you still had to tell him. The words had to come out of your own mouth whether you wanted to speak them or not! You had to make up for the immature decision you made at that time. It was like you were in that library all over again...
“Hey do you want to meet up- I mean we should probably talk, it’s been a long time”. You fumbled over your words not sure exactly what to say.
Jisung perked up “I’m free tomorrow. If you wanna grab coffee!” He was happy you took the initiative to invite him out because god knows he didn’t have the courage to do it himself.
“That sounds... nice!” you said as the little girl tugged on your arm mumbling something about wanting to watch some tv show at grandma and grandpa’s.
“I assume your number’s still the same.” He said remembering all the times he meant to text you but stopped himself out of fear.
“Yeah it is.” You said. You felt the same giddy feeling you got on the first day of high school when a cute boy in your homeroom asked for your number for “study purposes.” There was that cute boy once again standing in front of you giving you the same smile he gave you when you first met. A smile you hadn’t seen in years, but healed a hurt you didn’t know you had inside instantly.
You had to chew on your cheeks to hide your smile as you drove home. You could see your daughter in the rear view mirror drumming her little fingers on the arm rest of her car seat along to the music on the radio. You would peek at her every once in a while and try to gauge her focus. What was she thinking about? Was she afraid of him? Was she curious about him? Did she even care?
You cleared your throat only half getting her attention as she sang along to the words of whatever song was playing, mostly making up her own lyrics and swaying in her seat. “So what did you think of mommy’s friend?” You asked.
She didn’t respond for a bit or even give you any indication that she heard you. She was silent for a few minutes before speaking. “He’s nice… but… too tall…” she said.
“You might be tall like that one day” you chuckled “would you ever want to meet him again?” You wanted to at least have an idea of what to tell Jisung when you saw him next. In your mind, your daughter’s opinion (though still young and uninformed) mattered the most. If she wanted nothing to do with him at this time it didn’t matter what Jisung’s response was. All that mattered was her and what her needs were.
“Is he good at playing games?” She added out of the blue.
“What?”
“Mommy’s friend... Is he good at playing games?”
“Uhm, I guess so? From what I remember he was always fun. I’m sure he’d be good at playing games.” You smiled at her through the rear view mirror a little “Why D/N? Did you want to play a game with him?”
Your daughter just looked out the window and nodded her head, soon after getting distracted. “When are we getting home? I wanna watch my show.” She huffed and grumbled almost like an adult. Almost like Jisung.
“Soon.” You said.
As you pulled into the driveway and walked into your parent’s house, your daughter was practically vibrating with energy. She practically dove out of the car as you unbuckled her seatbelt, running into the home as your mother opened the door and greeted her with a big hug.
“How was the store?” Your mother asked as she ushered your little one down the hall to go bother your father in the living room.
“It was alright… I ran into Jisung…” you walked over to the kitchen and placed a few shopping bags on the counter.
Your mother looked surprised “both of you?”
You sighed “both of us.”
“What did he say?”
“He asked to grab coffee, he actually seemed happy to see me!”
“Were you happy to see him?” Your mother asked.
“Of course I was! It was awkward but I have to tell him sooner or later. Whether he wants to be in her life or not I have to tell him.”
“-and you think the best way to do that is over coffee?”
“No!” You said. “But I might not have another chance.”
Your mother looked at you with this awkward guilty expression on her face. She started to unpack the groceries biting her lip and looking everywhere but into your eyes.
“What? Do you really think it’s that bad of an idea?”… there was silence as she opened the fridge and began to rearrange some condiments, suspiciously shaking her head as if to neither completely agree or disagree. “You think I should keep it from him? Mom it's been long enough, it would just be wrong to not tell him. D/N wants to meet him! Why are you being so weird about this? Aren’t you the one who told me I should tell him the next time I see him?”
“What if he already knows?” Your mother blurted out.
“So what if he already knows…” you furrowed your eyebrows “wait… what do you mean?”
“Nothing” your mother said.
You knew that was bullshit. “Did you tell him?” You asked in a frustrated tone. “You told him didn’t you—”
Your mother looked at you and then went back to avoiding your fiery gaze. She was never good at keeping secrets but you thought something of this magnitude would be able to stay hidden. She promised to let you tell him on your own terms, so why had she betrayed you?
It took her a while to fess up but eventually she did, sort of… “I didn’t tell him directly, it just sort of slipped out… I— I just had to say something she was so… ugh!” Your mother groaned.
“What the hell are you talking about?” You asked and took a deep breath. Your mother swallowed harshly and looked down at the floor. “I promise to hear you out, I just want to know what I’m getting into mom.”
“It was around last month… Your dad has been golfing so much lately, so he got us a membership to the country club with the money you gave him for his birthday. I don’t personally use it much but he loves it down there, and I like to use the pool, and the tennis court is nice, and every once in a while I like to just sit in one of the dining rooms with a glass of wine, and…”
You sucked in your cheek as your mom rambled knowing that she couldn’t avoid the point forever. “Yeah exactly.” You said dryly.
Your mother gulped once more “To make a long story just a bit shorter… The Park family also goes there and I ran into Jisung’s mother, and she was just bragging about him nonstop and she hinted that he was better off without you and I just remembered how much you loved that boy! She was talking about some date he went on and how great this girl was. Greater than my daughter? I doubt it! She thought her son could do no wrong! That he was so perfect and you were so not… I just couldn’t help but tell her that whether she liked it or not you two would always be connected! I- I looked at her and I said ‘ya know you may want to let your son know that you already have a granddaughter and she’s not related to that rich heiress you want him with so bad!’ That’s what I said to her for looking down on us all these years… I told her about how my daughter and my daughter’s daughter were just about the most wonderful thing in this world and she had no right to talk about you or even her own son that way.”
“You really said all that stuff?”
“Yes…” Your mother replied hesitantly.
You could feel the tears welling up in your eyes and a swell of emotion inside you. You put a hand over your mouth to stop the audible sobbing that threatened to leave your mouth. You could tell just how long your mother had been holding in those words. She was always so non confrontational but the fact that she said all that warmed your heart. You were angry at first but in this moment you realized that it didn’t matter what Mrs. Park or even your ex boyfriend thought of you. You had some choice words for Jisung’s parents as well but you knew it would create more trouble to let them out. All that mattered was that your mother loved you guys enough to be proud of you. You always felt a bit embarrassed when having to explain to others that you weren’t the babysitter you were just a teen mom, but your own mother didn’t even care. She loved you all the same and made sure that no one would let you feel ashamed of yourself. “I should’ve known you couldn’t keep a secret anyways.” You said choking up a bit. You gave your mother the biggest hug you had probably ever given in your entire life, and she hugged you right back!
“You aren’t angry?” She asked.
“Oh I’m furious” you said “but not at you. I have no idea what I did to make that woman hate me so much but I’m glad you stood up to her!”
Your mother sighed. “I know you wanted to do it on your own terms but I feel like she might’ve already told him… I just don’t know for sure.”
“It’s alright.” You said. You and your mother finished unloading the groceries, tearfully laughing at how strange the whole encounter must have been. The thought of your soft-spoken mother raising her voice at a stern and snarky lady filled you with joy. Just imagining the shocked look on Jisung’s mom’s face was enough to keep a slight smile on yours for the rest of the day.
Later that night, after putting D/N to bed, you sat on the couch with your parents commiserating about all the awful experiences you had with the Park family over the years. It had been pent up for so long that all of you took the opportunity to air out even the smallest of grievances.
“I don’t know how such a sweet kid could be related to such obnoxious people” your father said as a small ping emanated from your phone.
You couldn’t stop the butterflies in your stomach as you saw the first text from Jisung in half a decade appear before you.
“Wanna grab that coffee around noon tmrw?” It said.
You considered being coy and waiting a few more minutes to reply but your fingers worked faster than your brain. Before you knew it a “sure!” was sent in response.
Then there was one more ping. One more text. It was small. It was innocuous. It could have meant nothing. But to you, it meant everything. It was one small red heart, one little emoticon that hinted to you that he still might feel the same…
𖦹
The next morning was an early one for you. You spent hours perfecting the exact right image that would make you look good enough to go on what was essentially a date, but not so good that Jisung would immediately clock that you two were on a date. Sure meeting up with an old fling to talk about a secret child over coffee wasn’t the most romantic premise, but you couldn’t help but want to put your best foot forward when it came to him. It was almost shameful to admit internally how much you felt for him, but it was the honest truth. You still loved him.
The ding of the coffee shop door seemed to ring out like a chorus of hollow bell chimes in your ears as your head began spinning. Jisung was sitting at table to the far end of the cafe. You could see the rays of somber light peeking in through the window, diffused by the dusty oranges, reds, and browns of the fall leaves. Jisung fidgeted in his chair looking down at the table, and then his watch, then his phone, and back to the table. Two brown paper cups stood tall on the table in front of him, steam rising from them and collecting on the lenses of his glasses. He cracked his knuckles and gnawed at his fingernails nervously until finally catching a glimpse of you walking towards him. “Y/N” he exclaimed, clumsily getting to his feet and lightly tripping over a leg of his chair.
You tried your best to hold back laughter as he bumbled around, rushing to pull out a chair for you. You smiled and thanked him as you sat down. The rich pungent smell of freshly ground coffee beans and sweet steamed milk filled your nostrils and Jisung gently pushed one cup over to you.
“I assumed you still drank the same coffee. If that’s okay.” He cleared his throat hesitantly.
You could just about burst into tears at this very moment. After all these years he still remembered your coffee order. He was only missing one thing...
“Wait just a second…” he fumbled through his pockets for a moment and pulled out two small packets of sweetener. “I know you like to stir in your own sugar” he said.
Now it was perfect!
“Did you sleep okay?” He asked.
Jisung’s consideration for others, you in particular was always so evident. It’s like he couldn’t stop himself from making the kind of small talk that involved checking in on people. “I did.” You replied.
The two of you spent some time just sitting and catching up. You talked about school, work, old friends, tv shows, and just about everything you two would have talked about and experienced together had you been in contact for the past five and a half years. You didn’t really realize when, but the both of you had slowly transitioned to taking your coffee shop 'date' outside of the coffee shop and made your way to the park across the street. The air was cool and refreshing and Jisung couldn’t bring himself to say it out loud but the way you were bundled up with your scarf, gloved hands clutching your coffee like it might run away from you if you let it go was adorable. He also took not of how your coats subtly matched. Yours a light brown, and his a deep tan color made you two look complimentary, almost like a couple… almost.
“Did your daughter make it in time to watch her show?” He asked out of the blue.
You chuckled “You remembered that? She did actually. She even talked about you a bit after… before she went to bed she asked if I was meeting up with you soon.”
“No way!” He said and bumped your shoulder lightly with his coffee cup.
“Really I mean it! She’s so interested in what I do. She always asks about my friends.”
“Are we still friends?”
Your eyes went wide, your hands tensed up and a chill ran down your spine. “I mean- We were good friends at one point!” You choked on your words not knowing what to say.
“We were more than just good friends Y/N” he said.
“I know…”
Jisung bit his lip and you both looked at each other sheepishly, you caught his gaze and he caught yours before you both broke out into a fit of laughter. You two as a pair had a way of bringing out a silliness within yourselves that had you cackling like hyenas together but looking like absolute madmen to any onlookers passing by.
Your walk in the park was peaceful and comforting. So comforting in fact that you had almost forgotten why you wanted to meet up with him in the first place.
𖦹
“So what was the good news?” He said, taking a sip of his drink.
“What?”
“The good news! Remember before we broke up you said there was good news and bad news… the bad news was the break up and the good news was…” he giggled awkwardly “well I never got to find out”.
Why now of all times did he have to bring that up? What could you even say? You couldn’t run, you couldn’t hunker down somewhere and hide. You had to talk to him. It was now or never.
“Yeah about that… the good news was mostly good news for me”. You were internally facepalming at your high school self’s method of delivery when it came to something so important. ‘Good news and bad news’, how idiotic could you have been.
“That’s okay, I still want to know-” Jisung gently placed your hand in his, picking it up to wrap your fingers within his warm grasp. He knew it might be wrong but he really didn’t want to ask about your relationship status right now. “I was obsessed with everything you did back then, that part of me still really wants to know… Like would it have changed anything? I know that sounds stupid but it’s true…”
You couldn’t help but melt a little being in his hold once again. It lulled you in a way that made you forget the gravity of what you were about to abruptly spit out. “The good news was D/N”! You felt a lump form in your throat and you were jolted back a bit as Jisung stood there frozen in the midst of the cobblestone path. You immediately went into panic mode. Why wasn’t he saying anything? “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier, it just felt like the right thing to do at the time and my parents pretty much told me to do whatever I thought was best! I didn’t want to push something so big on you right before graduation” You rambled on and on watching as Jisung seemed to only take in bits and pieces of what you were saying. Still you weren’t sure if he was buying your excuses or if they were going in one ear and out the other. He continued to just stand there stiff as a board tightening his hand around yours as you tried to usher him to a bench to sit down. It took a few minutes, but eventually you two found a quieter more private area of the park to talk it out. Jisung mostly sat and listened to you explain your reasoning for keeping D/N a secret from him for so long but he also acknowledged how this wasn’t information he would have wanted to receive any other way than in person and face to face.
He had always wanted to hear something like this from you but he always imagined it was going to be far in the future after you guys got married. Jisung’s thumb lightly caressed your knuckles and you thought your fingers might go numb from the prolonged hand holding. He looked down at your hand and as quiet as a mouse he laughed.
He laughed… Right there on the bench as the cool breeze swept his hair out of his eyes, he laughed. He slowly met your worried gaze, tears pooling at the corners of his eyes just as they did in yours. “Of course you went on to have the perfect life and be the perfect mother all without me.”
His words caught you off guard “Perfect? I’m like a mess ninety percent of the time, I just keep it together in front of my daughter.” You sniffled a bit “I did- I mean I still do want you to be in her life, it would be good for her…”
“Just for her” he asked playfully, tears still welling in his eyes.
“...and for me…” you looked down at the ground.
“Would your boyfriend be okay with that?”
“Boyfriend?” You felt the embarrassment return to you. “I haven’t dated anyone since you and I-” you could barely finish your sentence before Jisung’s lips were crashing into yours. His hot breath made the hairs on the back of your neck stand on edge. His eyelashes gingerly brushed against your cheeks as he caught his breath. Exhaling through his nose he went back for more. Maybe it was because it had been so long, maybe it was because he was older and more experienced, but Jisung had never kissed you like this before. There was quiet desperation in the way your lips melded together as if he was asking you, begging you to be his again.
“Me neither” he said breathlessly finally letting you come up for air.
“I thought you had a girlfriend?”
“No way, I haven’t gone on a real date since I started college…”
“But your mother said-“
“My mother has been trying to set me up with some girl whose parents own a couple buildings downtown for ages now.” Jisung cupped your cheek affectionately. “She seems nice and all but it’s hard to go out with anyone else when all I do is think about you!”
“I think about you too.” You treasured the way such simple touches and matter of fact words could flip your worlds upside down. “I wish I had told you sooner… I really wish I told you so much earlier…” You really couldn’t stop the tears from flowing now. You imagined just how crazy you looked crying on a public bench. “One second” you said reaching into your purse and pulling out a few tissues and some baby wipes. You lightly dabbed at the corners of Jisung’s eyes.
He reached over to you and used his thumbs to wipes your face simultaneously. “You’re such a mom.” He joked.
“I don’t understand how you aren’t mad at me right now?” you said.
Maybe he should have been, you wouldn’t have held it against him if he was. “Being with you is the only thing I’ve ever wanted. If that makes me crazy then so what. I’m crazy about you.”
It was hard to hide the shock on your face, you couldn’t believe he had just outright confessed his feelings to you before you even had time to process that wonderfully unexpected kiss.
“Anyways, it’s a relief that D/N is mine. If you had a kid with some other guy I don’t know what I’d do…” he planted another small kiss on your forehead.
“I think your parents would have been elated…” you trailed off.
“Who cares what my parents think! We’re not in highschool anymore!”
You couldn’t help but smile.
“I always knew we were meant to be family, it doesn’t matter how long it took. Just never keep a secret like that from me again” he laughed.
“I promise it’s all honesty from now on” you replied as Jisung pulled you into a warm embrace. He brought your body closer to his, wrapping his arm around your shoulder as you two took in the autumn scenery.
𖦹
It took a few weeks of coordinating but Jisung had finally come up to visit you in your home in the city. D/N was probably more excited than you. Your last couple days back at your parent's were spent watching Jisung play with your (now his) daughter in your parents living room. He seemed to have lived up to all her expectations and she had gotten over her qualms with his height one she realized how high up she could sit when on his shoulders.
You still hadn’t told her he was her father. You and Jisung agreed to wait to tell her until you two were more established. Sure you had dated before but this was now a whole new relationship. Your daughter practically leaped from her spot on the couch once she heard the doorbell ring and her dad’s signature tepid knock on the door.
You opened the door to see your boyfriend’s smiling face as he reached down to pick up D/N as she peppered him with questions. “Hey you!” He said nuzzling her nose and leaning over to give you a kiss as your daughter winced in disgust. He lugged in a large rolling suitcase with his one free hand as you ushered him through the front entrance.
“That’s all you brought?” You asked.
Jisung nodded “yeah for now… I was so eager to get over here that I only packed the essentials, I didn’t want to overwhelm you with all my stuff at once.”
“Please Jisung you’re getting ready to move in. You’re going to overwhelm me anyways” you teased.
“I’ll get the rest later! Right now I just want to hang out with you guys!” He put your daughter down and ruffled her hair. “So are you going to give me a tour?” He said leaning down to talk to her at eye level.
She just wordlessly dragged his wrist along to show him all her favorite spots in the house as you trailed along.
Much to the behest of his mother Jisung planned on having many more days like this and little did you know that the ring burning a hole in his coat pocket back in your hometown was the thing he was most excited to bring back in the next suitcase...
#nct dream angst#nct dream#nct dream fic#nct dream fluff#nct dream x reader#nct fluff#nct fanfic#nct angst#nct au#nct dream au#park jisung#jisung park#jisung nct#jisung fluff#jisung angst#jisung oneshot#nct oneshot#nct dream oneshot
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HELLO HELLO HELLO ONYX‼️‼️‼️
I SAW THAT YOU'RE BACK
I MISSED YOU SO MUCH OMG.
(and your writing but you're more important <3)
ALSO WITH ARCANE??? YOU FEED ME.
So yeah,you guessed it,Arcane asking time‼️
May I have Salo (He's my baby girl I love him he's my favorite LOOK AT MY WIFE HE'S SO PRETTY.),Silco,Singed,Vander,Ambessa,Mel,Jayce and Viktor (feel free to remove or change some of them,I just love giving people a wide range of characters to choose from!! I just want Salo the most ajgehhw) with a CHILD!reader (haha platonic asker is back >:3) that they basically adopted from Zaun with a weird condition that makes them need to breathe through a filtering mask? Because they can't breathe normal air and has to get a certain gas in their lungs otherwise they aren't okay? Imagine it breaking after they get in a fight with someone or fall and they all just panic...
So basically gas mask baby. Just a little silly guy.
So yeah!! I really hope you enjoy writing this prompt,my dear friend!!!
Don't forget to eat,drink and take breaks as always!!
Always stay proud!!
Your mutual and friend,
-Nina <33
OMG IK IM SO EXCITED TO BE BACK! ALSO HAPPY THANKSGIVING IF ITS THIS TIME OF YEAR FOR YOU :))
Salo, Vander, Jayce and Victor x Asthmatic! Child
Platonic
Pronouns: Second person
Tw: illness, potential child endangerment (It's arcane so ERM, what else do you expect) Also potential spoilers
Salo -
- I think he was like most people from piltover and was like "UHM, what is this dirty little dirt baby doing near me why are they coughing are they diseased?"
- I think the beginning of him taking you in would be like, he decides you probably shouldn't be in the road coughing and essentially on the verge of perishment.
- So he takes you to the nearest doctors office and is like fully prepared to just, disappear.
- That was until the doctor looks at him and says "Oh, councilor Salo, I didn't know you had a child?"
- After that he just, accepted his fate as a father.
- At first I don't think he would be that warm and comforting, but it's just generally an adjustment period.
- He learns to take care of you through long amounts of trial and error, and eventually you both form a decent connection.
- It wasn't exactly father and child, but more so friendly roommates
- That was until you finally got your diagnosis.
- Before now he was kinda just your dad in theory, sure he fed you and helped you when you cried and comforted you through long nights when you couldn't breathe but that was completely and totally just because he had to.
- But something inside of him just feels so sad for you when the doctor first straps your mask onto your face.
-After that your relationship changes for the better.
-You both seem to bond and become more close in a way that he wasn't exactly expecting.
-He becomes more vigilant about what you eat and what you're doing and making sure that you don't break your mask.
- Eventually, he feels more like your dad in a real sense, not just on metaphorical paper.
Vander (Pre ep3) -
- At first he wasn't exactly going to become fatherly figure to you.
- I mean after all he has 4 other children he has to look after and you surely have parents somewhere.
- It took one week for the powder and the others to get used to you being there, and 2 weeks for Vander to realize no one was coming for you.
- After that Vander decided that it was better to just take you under his wing and care for you.
- First thing he did after deciding that was getting into contact with the best doctor in Zaun to try and figure out why you were coughing so much.
- The next thing he did was try not to cry when they forced the mask onto you so that you could breathe.
- After that though, things went significantly well.
- You bonded more closely with Powder than anyone, mainly because of the feeling of being both the youngest and the least helpful.
- Even when they did take you on missions, you'd get out of breath, or get your mask broken.
- Vander learned very fast that he should learn how to fix it.
- But after that, everything was good, and you had a family for as long as that could last.
Jayce -
- Of most of the people in Piltover, I think he would be the one of the most inclined to help you.
- I feel like he would pretty consistently take walks out, and that's where he would find you.
- He would find you sitting against a wall coughing so hard it was sure to have been heard at least a mile away.
- He would definitely panic and try to talk to you and figure out what happened, and then realize that verbal communication is the least effective communication for him to have picked.
-So instead he picks you up and rushes you to the nearest doctors office.
- With the way that he's so panicked and treating you so kindly, the doctors just assume that he's your father.
- After the doctors explain to him what your illness is he immediately thinks of Victor.
- At first, his reason behind taking care of you was that he was just making sure you were okay before he looks for your real parents.
- But eventually, he just gets so used to you being around that he kinda just forgets that he should be looking for them, and instead just leans into the fatherly role.
- It took a lot of sleepless nights and a lot of conversations with Mel to figure out how to take care of a child and how to progress with your illness.
- And after all of it, he officially files for adoption of you.
- And he's the best dad you could ever ask for
Victor -
- Objectively, I think he would be the best out of all of them.
- He likely found you before he went to Piltover, and he took care of you almost immediately.
- He knows how it feels to be different from other kids your age, what it's like to be made just, wrong.
-He cares for you, and eventually he moves you both to Piltover.
-It was an extremely risky decision for him to have made, but it was for you to get a good doctor, and for him to get a good job.
- After you receive your mask and your diagnosis, he becomes more protective.
- He cleans your mask once a day to make sure it doesn't build up gunk and becomes more dangerous to your lungs.
- He also becomes more vigilant on what you're doing and if that can cause your mask to break.
- After he eventually receives his diagnosis, he decides that after his time is up that he's going to give you to Jayce.
- But before that time comes, he's gonna love you like you're his own.
UHM I feel like these got aggressively more depressing but it's probably fine, I hope you enjoyed this one Nina!
Make sure to drink water and eat food :)
#arcane#arcane x reader#jayce talis#salo arcane#mel medarda#victor arcane#UHM GUYS I HAVE DADDY ISSUES CAN U TELL?
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The People We Become || Portal!Stan AU || Stanford The Author
I'm shocked how much I want to talk about Ford in this seeing as he's not normally my favorite, but this is fun
Stanford F. Pines, still The Author
He's a lot more homely than canon Ford and much less willing to jump head first into danger.
After the portal is destroyed, he and Fiddleford commit to cleaning up the house and dealing with the aftermath of Bill. It take a LOT of healing and certain preventative measures, but he begins to feel safe again in his home.
Still, he's rather anxious about going into town and doesn't love being around normal people, due to being very awkward and blunt. He and Fiddleford eventually continue their studies on the weirdness of Gravity Falls.
Stanford ends up writing a bunch of field guides and academic texts about various things. It's not his favorite, but it brings in a sufficient amount of money, since his research grant ran out at some point.
He doesn't really stay in contact with his family, but they certainly try to contact him. Filbrick doesn't give much of a shit since Ford isn't "making millions" but Caryn calls on holidays. She often asks if he's heard from Stanley and Ford gives a clipped "no". He refuses to admit how much it hurts or that he sends out letters on occasion trying to contact Stan.
He doesn't attend Filbrick's funeral when he dies, but he does later help his mother move into a 60 and up community where she thrives until she eventually dies from natural causes.
Shermie gets in contact to tell him that his son's wife is having twins, hoping that will give him reason to reconnect with the family. He's very conflicted about if he wants to see them or not, but Fiddleford convinces him to go see the twins when they're born. He's extremely awkward with them, but is absolutely enamored with Dipper because of his birthmark. It's not quite the same as his polydactylism but its still nice for him to see another physical anomaly in the family.
After the birth of the twins, Ford doesn't really continue to stay connected, but he does begin to write a book series called The Gemini Adventures, a children's sci-fi fantasy about twins Castor and Pollux. He always sends the twins first editions of his books.
The books also always have a dedication to "S, where ever you are, who ever you have become."
Dipper and Mabel LOVE these books. It's part of the reason Dipper likes the name 'Dipper'. They've been Castor and Pollux for halloween before and Dipper would never admit it but he's absolutely written "his own Gemini Adventure story" aka fanfiction
Aside from his Gemini Adventures series, Ford keeps a personal log of his strange dreams. He doesn't know it, but these dreams are some connected visions of what's going on with Stanley. He also puts some of his adventures with Fiddleford in there as well as hiding his portal blueprints in it.
Eventually, Ford loses the journal amongst his shelves and shelves of books and Dipper finds it, thinking its one of Ford's unpublished novels.
I know this isn't exactly in line with some of the things I said about the book earlier, but this makes a little more sense I think.
#gravity falls#gravity falls au#stanford pines#stanley pines#dipper pines#mabel pines#The People We Become AU#reverse portal au
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Asking because of the previous ask, are you not a fan of Ethan anymore? If so, why?
It's complicated, I suppose (rant where i talk abt ethan but then also my OCs in general)
I really do not like the first version of Ethan I made like 3 years ago. Obviously I like indulging in devilish ideas but I don't know, it ended up turning into something I didn't really end up liking too much.
Then I revisited and sort of rewrote his story a bit a while back when making the OC archive site (I'm aware the site is not available anymore for the people who asked, I took it down myself) and was much happier with it for a while.
Don't get me wrong, I like Ethan, I know he's the OC people seem to like the most, but it's still like a personal mental battle of like maybe it's too effed up? Even when I draw characters going through unwilling/accidental extreme weight gain, I make them either ambivalent or accepting of their situation, but for Ethan it's kind of like torture, and I can't bring myself to get like..aroused and excited to draw more of that *personally*.
Changing up his lore wouldn't really work either since his story is based on helplessness and stuff, and it'd be disingenuous to make him be happy with his situation, so I've just sort of subconsciously decided to leave him as is and treat his content as its self contained story more than nsfw art to goon to, if that makes sense. I don't know, maybe I'm just thinking about it too much, but just wanted to say what goes through my head.
I also don't really revisit Ethan for the same reason I don't tend to draw much of all the past OCs I've made, as I see each of them as a way to explore different facets of how weight gain can manifest and adapt into a character's life to create a story around it, and I feel like I've covered most of the ground around them already.
All of my OCs come from a sudden short prompt that pops up in my head, usually out of nowhere. I suddenly wanted to make a big-hearted southern farm guy who was super massive and I immediately ran to draw Rudy, for example.
I draw them a little reference, with my typical bullet points next to them with basic info to get an idea of what their dynamic is like, and a more lengthily written backstory or description if I'm feeling fancy under it, and then for the next week or two it's all art of them and answering questions about them... and then another idea pops up, and a new OC comes in.
It's not that I get tired of them, but I just simply do not know what to draw with them. Ethan is the biggest outlier in this case, since he is my fattest OC and half immobile, you just don't really know how else to bring something new that's not him laying on his bed at a slightly different angle.
I guess that's why I always do OC asks, I sort of need them to be able to know what to draw with them, since I struggle coming with things like that by myself, and you know I always like avoiding drawing a character in a void with no context.
The Genshin Obesity AU is my longest running like "project"?? thing just because there is an endless amount of content I can pull from since there's all these characters, places and possibilities I can write from. My OCs are obviously much more self-contained and moreso serve as individual experiments to explore different people and scenarios, so after the 10th drawing of them... I genuinely do not know what else I can add to them.
I hope that was a bit insightful. I know most of you guys love Ethan, and I love him too! But I don't know, I guess this is why I don't tend to have immobile/near immobile OCs, since the potential art ideas for them drop to just them sitting on a mattress or sitting on the floor and I'm just left confused on what to do with them.
Maybe Ethan in his college days is something you guys might be interested in? Or I don't know, I'm just writing this post as my thoughts enter my head.
Sorry for the rant, I sure do love typing, hope this clears up some questions people might've had
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part i
“Spencer, it’s almost as though you’re the piece of my life that I never knew was missing until now. It seems that you’ve been a part of it for much longer than this competition, and while I don’t yet know just what form that will take, signs point to you continuing to be in it for some time to come. Congratulations - you’re the first through.”
“Delphine, I entered this competition hoping to find a partner. And I’ve found one in a completely different sense than what I was expecting, because you’re now also one of my best friends. But we have potential to be something else alongside that too, and you’ve given me enough to be sure of that while still wanting more. You are already very special to me - and you’re the second through. Well done.”
“Tiago, you are just a joy to be around. But with a surprising amount of ambition, and you’re good for the deeper talks too. And you’re also skilled at - well, this is supposed to be the family friendly segment of this show, so I won’t elaborate further. You are unapologetically yourself, don’t ever change. You’re the third through - and I hope to get to know you better still.”
“Mister, you surprised me. In person you have such an approachable, playful masculinity - and a wholly genuine, decent nature in spite of your party vibe. What’s no surprise is how femme sims are drawn to you - and I’m no exception. You worked hard, played hard, and were always happy to help out. Congratulations - you scored highly, and scored in - well, I’ll see you next round.”
“Pauline, apparently you had live chat buzzing when you teleported your way onto that lot, and I was right there with them. You have a demeanour cool enough to freeze even that Dine Out pack over, and yet a sweet and sometimes goofy, vulnerable side to go with it. I’m so glad to have met you, and I really want to see what more you have to offer. Here’s my literal strawberry for now.”
“Jerrod, you intrigue me. You are a man of many parts and I just want to know what makes you tick. You add just the right amount of unexpectedness and keep me on my toes - especially when you scream at me then proposition me in your very next breath. I never know which version of you I’m going to get - and for once that’s not a turn-off. I want to give you the opportunity to surprise me yet again.”
how scores were calculated
So here are our Top Six! In the end I decided to pad out the posts not to be mean, but to give people a chance to react to each one and for their pixels to have their moment. (Also I need to edit the rest lol) Contestants 7-12 will be up early afternoon (I need that sleep and that panadol lol) while contestants 13-18 will be up in the evening. A reminder that the bottom three will be going home 🥺
@akitasimblr @changingplumbob @simsfvr
@igglemouse @invisiblequeen @simstagramsomeone
#simply lilac#simply lilac round one#simply lilac 'strawberry' ceremony#lilac moon#araminta hearst-irsay#spencer west-harper by akitasimblr#delphine hubert by changingplumbob#tiago pecholobo by simsfvr#mister maxwell by igglemouse#pauline irwin by invisiblequeen#jerrod gibson by simstagramsomeone
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They really should have started with this, he reflected in hindsight. Words may not have come easy upon the redhead's surprising arrival, but the language that passed between them when Law's lips pressed against Nami's once more was something no amount of time could take away from them.
Far more than any spoken word might do, the sense of overwhelming relief Nami's body provided as it melded against his was all the answer the surgeon had needed. No, she was not mad at him, and no, he wasn't the only one who'd hoped this moment might happen: Law could feel in every brush of the redhead's lips against his own - some part of her had hoped there might still be a chance of salvaging what had flourished and bloomed between them all those weeks ago. Despite everything that had happened and whatever voices in their heads had tried to tell them it was too much to hope for.
And yes, (if the way she pressed her nimble frame so eagerly against him were any indication), she did want him here. His mouth glued to her own; his hands to wander elsewhere and map out every change the months had made to the body he'd worshipped so tenderly the last time he had seen it -
But as eager as he was to oblige her, tattooed hands nearly itching with the need to explore every inch she was willing to give him, there was some part of the surgeon-in-training, however miniscule, that liked to think he had learned a thing or two from the last time. Things about moving too quickly. About losing one's self in the physical desire for another only to wake up alone a few days later and spend every night that came after wondering if it had ever even mattered in the first place.
Everything inside of him wanted to believe her. That it was more than physical desire or her hormones that had Nami molding herself against him. But as badly as he longed to touch her again, to keep kissing her like this until both were breathless with it, he was going to tear himself away from her. He had already decided - was already dreading the moment he'd talked himself into when he would break from those perfect, plump lips and leave the woman to her shower for both of their best interests.
Because no matter how badly he wanted her, he would take it slower this time. He would be patient because he knew it would be worth it in the end. Just as soon as Nami knew for certain what she wanted, and Law could take her word for it without wondering how much of it came from the hormones wreaking havoc on her body than from genuine affection, it would be worth it to take this slowly--
But just as he'd made up his mind to step back from her, Nami broke the kiss for him. Could she feel the way his heart sank in his stomach the second she drew apart from him? Or the way the entire world seemed to come to a sudden, screeching halt when she drew back to tell him the only thing he had ever wanted to hear from her?
Heart thundering in his ears and all plans of withdrawing to the living room forgotten, for several long moments it was all the man could do to simply stare at her. His cheeks were flushed with color and his hands came to a stop as far as he'd let them wander, to the curve of her bare sides beneath her ribcage.
I love you.
You are my home.
Just like that, Law could not have dragged himself away from her if he tried. There was nowhere he might have gone - no living room to return to - no universe beyond the woman who stood before him awaiting an answer he could not muster. There was no running water. No fear of waking up to empty bedsheets beside him in the morning. There was only Nami and those eyes that drew him in like gravity, and the need to make certain he had heard her correctly and not simply imagined the words he'd so ardently desired.
Voice soft as a whisper, Law drew back away from her, just far enough to gauge for any sign of uncertainty in her features as he asked her carefully, as if he needed to be sure before he could decide what step was to follow, ❝Are you sure about that? You're sure that it's not just...❞ Gaze slipping away from hers, he dragged one hand rather pointedly to the curve of Nami's bare midriff. ❝This talking? Because if you're worried I'll change my mind if you don't, I won't. It doesn't have to be this way - like this,❞ he added, gesturing at their newfound proximity ❝If you don't want it to. It doesn't have to be anything, I'm not gonna change my mind about this. But if that is what you want, I need to hear you say it again. Are you sure this time?❞
Within the span of a breath and moment it took Law to recollect his mouths, the ginger was almost sure she could read his mind. As if all she needed to do was take a moment and push her own fears regarding the situation they'd found themselves in from Nami's inability to communicate. Or her tendency to act in rashness from time to time.
In the furrow of dark brows she recognized once again that she wasn't doing the best at communicating- She thought it was obvious- That there was not a world in which she could ever be mad at him- Not really. Making light of the situation only caused orange brows to shoot up in return before meeting in the middle. Had she been more clear, Law might have realized that no such words were needed.
She was already home. This place that stood in time, waiting for her return as if she were simply away on vacation, due to return home. Homesick. The word hit her like a ton of bricks. A word that had been on the edge of her tongue for months- Nami had not just been heartbroken, she'd been homesick. Which explained the strange comfort found upon Law's couch, surrounded by a scent that was wholly him.
I missed you.
Three words repeated over and over in her head with each quickened beat of her heart from the sensation of Law's lips on her own for the first time in months. Imagining this moment and it happening were very different after all. It was perfect. Maybe when they retold the story it wouldn't have taken place in the bathroom, but it was perfect to her. Butterflies erupted in her stomach, through her heart and releasing every thought that that'd crossed her mind in the last handful of months without him in her life.
Eyes fluttered closed and Nami pressed her body wholly and completely to Laws. Melding against him, Nami offered her body so that he might feel and appreciate the newfound curves to her body in an entirely different light- If he so chose to, that was.
“Law-” A breath of his name, as the next words tumbled out. So many times she thought them, but not once did Nami allow herself to utter them. Not even to herself or their baby. They were words meant entirely for his ears and his ears only. “-I love you. You are my home."
#climatact#✦ — 𝐢𝐜. | threads.#tw: pregnancy#✦ — 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞. | the light that guides you home.#the light that guides you home || unexpected arrivals
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came across some cultural christianity discourse, so just a few (rather disorganized) thoughts from one (1) ex-christian's pov:
gonna start off by saying i do understand the idea of cultural christianity and the need for a term to encompass it. and it's definitely kind of uncomfortable, but like, a term for the concept needs to exist.
(i think part of the issue comes from "cultural christianity" or "christian culture" coming off differently than "cultural christian" or "christian atheist". "cultural christianity" addresses a culture. "cultural christian" addresses a person -- and i think that's what makes ex-christians get defensive.)
i think there's an element of shame to feeling like you belong to a different culture than the one you feel like you were supposed to?
i bring up this idea because i'm ethnically chinese, but i was raised in north america. my relatives call me a banana, because i'm "yellow on the outside but white on the inside". and like, there's nothing really wrong with that. it's the truth, and none of it is my fault. but it always feels shameful, anyways -- like i've failed my ancestors and i've failed the community that raised me. like i'll never be white enough and i'll never be chinese enough.
(and i have thought about it maybe being because of sorta white guilt over north america's shitty history, maybe wishing my culture wasn't built on another's bones. but then, china's hands are not clean by any stretch of the imagination. so it's not just that.)
i think another part of it is that "cultural christian" is, like, kind of an insult in many christian circles. (definitely dates back to at least 2011, idk if it goes further. idk if that predates the tumblr discourse or not.) it's a way for christians to tear town other christians for not being "christian enough". for some ex-christians, "cultural christian" doesn't mean "raised in a society influenced by christianity", it means "lukewarm christian who's gonna get vomited up by jesus and turned away from heaven"
being lukewarm, many christians say, is worse than not believing at all. (kind of like judas, who jesus said would've been better off not being born at all.) being lukewarm is something many ex-christians spent their christian years being terrified of.
(i would argue that some of the persecution complex actually comes from that fear. because we're told all the time about the lukewarm christians who weren't strong enough to die for their faith. we were raised on the story of cassie, promising that if a gun was held to our heads, we would still profess the name of jesus christ. we were taught that if we were christian enough, then the world would hate us. so if the world didn't hate us -- if the world wasn't persecuting us -- then it had to be because we weren't good enough. but anyways the connection between lukewarm fear and persecution complex is a topic for another day.)
so i think in that sense a problem is that "cultural christianity" is a term with two competing meanings which are very much different from each other, one of which IS 100% intended as an insult. and the problem with "cultural christianity" in the way that it's used on tumblr is that if you google "cultural christianity", the results are about the christian pov on cultural christianity. that's always a recipe for miscommunication.
and one last sort of thought: many things that are kind of "culturally christian" are things that the church often doesn't approve of. like, giving gifts at christmas? it's not heresy, but you better make sure that the gift you're most thankful for is jesus dying on the cross for you. also, santa is almost definitely satan.
(interestingly, something like christmas gifts is probably one of the things where christians and non-christians will agree on what "cultural christianity" might mean. christians will say it's culturally christian because it's people who don't believe in christ but want gifts. non-christians will say it's culturally christian because, like, it's literally about the supposed birth of jesus?)
anyways, there's not really a point here. just wanted to bring up some points that i haven't really seen mentioned whenever i see the cultural christianity discourse, because i think they're important to understanding where the discourse stems from. (i like to think discourse isn't all just people bitching at each other for no reason. i like to think it stems from miscommunication because we don't understand each others' traumas and triggers. but then that might be too optimistic.)
#exvangelical#ex christian#ex fundie#apostate#religious trauma#<- not really on this post but i know it's relevant to a lot of ex-christian's feelings on “cultural christianity” as a term#(by the way the “” throughout this post are not meant to like?? invalidate the term?? just like to emphasize that we're talking about the#term and not necessarily always the concept?? esp because of the contradicting meanings that i mentioned in the post)#(and the inconsistency is because i'm a tired mess who honestly has forgotten how to grammar)#religious deconstruction#cultural christianity#christian hegemony#i really hope this makes some amount of sense
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Give him an AAC device and an electric wheelchair NOW!!!
#Im busy and im not really that into the game but if someone else has drawn this id love to see it#oh man i hope nobody interprets a man drugged up and not getting proper treatment and being abused as something cute!!!#i hope that if theres happy art of him its not just erasing the amount of pain and trauma he faced and making him unrealistically healed#(i mean it is sci fi so some of it is okay but. some of it makes no sense and seems like theyre just avoiding drawing something realistic.)#mouthwashing
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Idk if this is controversial, but studying for a English/writing degree at university shouldn’t make you NOT want to engage with writing or literature. Just a thought.
#the amount of times one of my literature professors presented us with the worst reading or interpretation (some of which were just plain#revolting) of a piece of literature almost as if she were expecting us to like it just because it was sensational and me and everyone else#going ‘um. no. sorry. not only does that make no sense but now I kind of want to throw up’#I just came here to read some gothic lit and honestly I’m feeling so attacked right now. (my fault for signing up for gothic lit I suppose)#her English survey class made me never want to look at the written word again#however I know this isn’t me having an issue with survey classes (although the rate they make you read at is kind of ridiculous and I read#fast: case in point for one of them I had to read Huck Finn in 9 days)#because I took American Survey from another professor and it was really challenging but probably the best course I ever took at university#I was not expecting to develop such a distaste for the academic world at uni but maybe that’s just my university (whenever I complain about#this my mom always tells me I need to watch Dead Poet’s Society lol)#siggggghhh anyway. hoping for some better classes with my exchange program (although none of them are writing/English as I’m almost#finished with my degree)#english lit#university#english#college
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thank you. (again) i appreciate the advice very much so, and this is probably a lot to unpack amongst other things; so i have a fair amount of things that i should probably sit on for a while. not like i didn’t already but regardless
i think that a lot, if not all of what you said are valid observations and/or true. so let me elaborate
“I guess the core question, if you want to finally hash out your feelings on this one way or another, is: why are you so afraid of calling yourself a fox? Or at least, why are you so determined that that can't be the case?”
i actually spent a while calling myself a fox not long ago. i ENJOYED it, it feels good to say, sure, but it just felt like too much of an empty statement when my own actions (or anything really) don’t back up that statement. it’s like i don’t have “proof”. i can technically call myself anything; but the affirmation carries dubious meaning when that’s all there is to it. “i am (x)”. it’s there though, and i would know because the feeling is a lot more prominent when i’ve been called it by others in the past
may i add that i don’t really live in a situation where i can openly express something like that in real life. i still get occasionally taunted from the time i was openly a furry (4/6 years ago) and i don’t think it’s something people around me would ever take well.
but to answer your question. i suffer from holding the “it isn’t something that would happen to me” mentality (if that makes sense). i seem to hold that idea a lot, even outside of this context. there is a very real and recognisable mental wall that i have constructed that separates me from the concept of “being something else”. i’m not sure why or how that became a thing at all, other than the way i try to perceive these concepts (from an “outside view”) but it’s just the way i end up thinking for some reason. it feels slightly irrational, especially considering everything else, but it’s not something i actively mean to do
even when i do try to entertain it, i think i have a predetermined belief that my own “being” of these things is somehow inherently less than others. that in particular probably comes from a lack of emotional permanence. imposter syndrome? i don’t know
nevertheless i genuinely can not thank you enough for taking a moment to understand. the advice is useful, and i value it. and don’t worry about overstepping; i can assure that you didn’t. i hope (once again) that this was worded coherently enough to be understood
i don’t think my words hold much value to people like you, and i don’t think you would be willing to listen or take it to heart, but it’s still worth trying. i would like you to realise that you are human in every way. you are not an animal, you are not a dragon. (you probably already know this. maybe you’re in denial. i don’t know) either way, none of you would actually be willing to give it even a second of thought because you’re insecure about yourself, and you’re insecure because you know you’re human. i assure you that you will not reach full personal contentment until you live out your life without pretending to be a mythical creature. wtv have a good day
Ooh, I haven’t gotten one of these asks in a few years.
So I ask this, and every other question I will follow up with, completely genuinely, and if you’re willing to really get into the weeds discussing it I’d love to do so (though I’ll probably reblog any follow-ups to my other blog): why do you think you know me and my experiences better than I do?
Why do you think you can armchair diagnose me with insecurity? What evidence do you actually have for that, besides the fact that I’m nonhuman? What evidence do you have that I’m not already content and fulfilled in my life?
Is it possible that identifying as nonhuman is unrelated to those things entirely, and you’re making a false assumption?
I get it. It looks crazy, when you’re completely new to the concept. It’s weird - it is! But pause and listen to us when we talk about our experiences for a moment.
For many of us, myself included, finding nonhumanity is a moment of suddenly understanding - of pieces falling into place, of my life experiences suddenly making sense. Awakening is something that made me more content and fulfilled, not less - there’s a sadness in it sometimes, yes, but so too is there the comfort of understanding yourself in a new way, of realizing, oh. I’m not just weird. There’s not something wrong with me. There are other people like me.
(If this sounds a lot like the experience of figuring out you’re queer, there’s a reason for that.)
To use myself as an example of the flaws in your hypothesis: there’s… honestly not much dissatisfaction with my life right now. I’ve got a stable job with decent income. I’d like to be able to cut back my hours a bit, but that will come in time. I’ve got enough free time as it is to do my art and play my tabletop games with friends in my off time. I’ve got family and friends around me. Sure, I miss my wings, but I’m hoping to pick up powered paragliding in the near future and hoping that’ll scratch that itch at least somewhat. I’m doing pretty well, honestly. This isn’t the case for all otherkin, but it’s not the case for all orthohumans (people who aren’t alterhuman in any way) either. What it does indicate, however, is that your hypothesis that being otherkin inherently means you’re insecure and unhappy with your life is false, or at minimum flawed - if it were true, I wouldn’t exist.
So, I ask again: why do you think you understand my own experiences better than I do? And moreover, why does it bother you so much that I am the way I am?
The name for the thing you’re doing here, intentionally or not, is concern trolling - trying to push me out of an identity by professing concern for problems that don’t exist. Why? Why are you going out of your way to tell other people they’re wrong about their own identity? Why is your reaction, when you see an identity you don’t understand, to decide it’s unhealthy, or just make-believe, or whatever, and then to make that the problem of the people who identify that way? What exactly makes you think this is inherently unhealthy?
Would it not be better to devote that energy to trying to understand us, instead of trying to change us?
You don’t have to answer these questions to me, obviously, but I do encourage you to answer them to yourself at least. Pick apart your worldview for a minute and see if it actually holds up under scrutiny - it’s good for you, and mental enrichment to boot! If you are willing to really get into the weeds of this discussion with me, again, I’d love to do that - I love having discussions like this, and it’s good for me to have my worldview challenged every so often too! Please, genuinely, pick at the flaws in my logic if you see them - if it can be pulled apart under scrutiny, it needs to be pulled apart and rebuilt. No one on the internet is obligated to let a stranger do that, obviously, but personally I enjoy it - it’s a meat pumpkin for me - so let’s talk, if you’re up for it. It’s been a hot minute since I’ve gotten a good interesting antikin to debate with.
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Okay, so here's a little thing I noticed. Not sure if others have noticed this too but, hey! Why not spread the good word. Also, this thought contains spoiler talk as well so heads up if you wanna avoid those! Will warn when it happens. Ahem. Here is a sprite of Aoi I just snatched for demonstration.
Here she is closer. Can you see it?
It's the school emblem! Or like, that part of it that's in Monokuma's eye! Kinda forgot what it's meant to actually be on the emblem itself ngl. Like.. is it am abstract wing??? Not sure. I shrug like Aoi.
Here is a closer pic of her shorts and the school emblem as well.
Here are other sprites of her too which shows that it's not just a one sprite deal.
This doesn't seem like much bit it also got me thinking. This is where the spoilers come in so run while you can!!
First of all, during the tragedy and the brain wiping of the students and their memories of previously being in the school, this would mean that she had these on, right? Right before shit hit the fan? Like, when Junko did her junking around and all, Aoi would have had this get up on during that. Or, maybe not. Perhaps there is a chance that Junko put her in different clothes? Like, she intentionally picked out these shorts for Aoi as some elaborate trolling method and planted them their on her person. And, maybe she'd know that the chances of them questioning and noticing this is low but, she did it anyway for her own amusement. Also, if Junko DID redress them all before the killing game, she was really going all out with this. Very conniving of her. Maybe it was to make sure it convincing that they had never been at Hopes Peak and feed into that lie. Something along those lines. Also messed up too. Wonder if she did it herself or had Mukuro do it though... Not sure Also, now I'm curious what tools she used for memory wiping everyone though that's another question. Not sure if I'd wanna know anyway! Know for a fact that Kyoko took the longest though with her being the Ultimate Detective and her dad being the headmaster of the whole dang school! Poor Kyoko. Or... hmmm. What is the likely hood that these shorts are from the school and she got them while being IN the school itself pre-tragedy era or like... did she preorder them or something? Could a student preorder clothes from Hopes Peak High School??? Or did Aoi wear this outfit on her way to Hopes Peak or did she have MOST of the outfit on and the "Junko planted the Hopes Peak shorts on" theory happened at the same time? Or, ooh! Maybe Junko used some. She may be the Ultimate Despair and the Ultimate Analyst (think that was in Danganronpa Zero manga??) but maybe she was able apply those skills into designing shorts that perfectly matched the ones Aoi wore to school pre-tragedy but JUST with that added emblem on it to troll? So many questions! This really does makes me think. Like, imagine in an alternate timeline. Could this be evidence of some sort of how they all used to be in this school? Like, when discover that they all used to go to Hopes Peak and that they had their memories wiped, could someone be like "Hey! This is all mad and crazy and all but look at Aoi's shorts" or something? Does that make sense? Maybe? Makes me wonder too. If Kyoko was on her A-game and not struggling with the fact that she got hit the hardest with her memory loss, would she notice this detail on Aoi's shorts or like, how long would it take her to notice? I'm not a detective and I saw this after all! Again, so many questions of mine! I swear though. I dunno how much this makes sense. Though, this small detail on Aoi's sprites kept coming back to me and I have finally figured out how to word it all!
#danganronpa#danganronpa trigger happy havoc#trigger happy havoc#danganronpa aoi#aoi asahina#danganronpa junko#junko enoshima#danganronpa kyoko#kyoko kirigiri#talked about the two a good amount#so i felt it was a good play to tag them both here!#don't mind me!!#just me throwing ideas out there#in the spoiler side of this#trying my best to make sense of it all#also#like#it's actually hopes peak high school which for some reason i forgot???#somehow???#no clue at all!#maybe cus hopes peak academy#that sounds better to say for me at least#unless it's some localization thing i never noticed or something cus that could also be the case regarding that#really do hope that this wasn't all confusing though!!#i could be onto something so i hope it's legible!#even when i am maybe being smart with this discussion i continue to flounder by being confused at my said intelligence T-T#how do i managed to do that?!?!#AH! I'm actually using my brain more for non-Togami related things and that are also not shitposts!!!#though who knows. i'm just being a WEE bit daft and that there is an explanation to this that has nothing to do with what i was saying#i dunno!
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#angle under the cut where you can see their eyes because it is NOT very flattering from the front#sharpedo#this is the fucker that zooms after you like a missile in the swsh DLC‚ right? i think it also does that in sv. it's scary honestly#it's so fast. and it makes that big ol' zoomin' effect like the third nozzle in super mario sunshine. i don't remember what it's called but#it's the gray one. super mario sunshine is my favorite mario game which i feel like is not a very popular opinion#but it tracks because i had a gamecube as a kid. so games on that tend to be some of my favorites because nostalgia i guess#luigi's mansion‚ super mario sunshine‚ pokémon colosseum…#i could go on and on about these games. honestly. luigi's mansion is one of my favorites of all time. i still think it's great even as an#adult. it's much better than the other luigi's mansions in my opinion‚ though i guess my opinion Might be clouded by nostalgia#although i would like to think i can look back on it with a critical eye. i still replay it basically once a year cuz it's super short#i think it's super atmospheric and the later two luigi's mansion games don't really capture that same aesthetic#of… what basically amounts to like. a horror aesthetic. which is weird to say because it's a kids' game but#y'know i'm also not putting my whole brain into these tags right now bc i'm distracted but i hope i am making sense#fellow luigi's mansion fans know what i'm talking about. this is not about sharpedo so here is sharpedo#i believe this'll be posting on the last day of my outing when i'll be flying back home. so. finger's crossed#nope i just queued it and it's the day before i'm flying home. either way‚ good luck‚ future me
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pro: ran into a coworker at a bar last night who I don’t really talk to usually (he works upstairs, I work downstairs) and we talked and im pretty sure we were highkey flirting and he bought me a drink and the bar merch shirt i was interested in and thanks to the power of alcohol i guess i asked for his number and he gladly gave it to me and. yeah
con: i have the second worst hangover i have ever had and have been fighting for my fucking life just to eat saltines
#it’s getting better but only now that it’s like. 6pm#as weird as it sounds part of why this sucks is that I volunteered to come into work today cause there’s a concert going on nearby which#usually means we’re at least somewhat busy -> make better tips#and I couldn’t go in because well. you know#I’ve been sick and dying in bed all day unable to move or eat or anything#let alone take the bus and go to work#but. as much as I wish I didn’t go this overboard I don’t totally regret last night cause.#yeah. potential thing going on with cute coworker guy. OH and potential job opportunity at my favorite bar in town#apparently said coworker Also has a job at the bar in addition to where we both work and the bar is hiring barbacks at entry-level#so I have someone to vouch for me and the bartender we were talking to seemed to really want me to apply too#one thing that’s kinda funny to me about all this is that the first two places (a bar then a club) we were at felt really mid because they#were packed with way too many straight people (at a gay bar and a gay club)#but the bar we ended up at (where we ALWAYS end up at. it is the oasis. it is the only thing I can rely on) felt. like. not overwhelmingly#straight? at all? I mean part of it’s just luck in a way with just who happened to be there and all that but it’s also that the staff seem#pretty significantly populated with queer ppl#I complained to the bartender about how the club we were at (one of the biggest gay clubs in the city- if not The biggest) just felt kinda#meh because yeah maybe there were some guys dancing in jockstraps and whatever but the crowd itself like. did not feel largely queer#or at least didn’t have the spirit I’d hope for in a queer space if that makes sense. felt very conventional. not enough wild outfits and#makeup and gender fuckery and so on#and the bartender was like dude I KNOW right? I went off outside there once about the invasion of cishets when this space isn’t FOR them#and so on and so forth. and god that was So real.#so the experience at my beloved bar last night was like. 1) guy comes up behind me just to order a drink but i was saving a seat for my#friend who was in the bathroom and mentioned that in case he was looking to take the seat. chatted a little. ended with him pointing out#that a guy nearby was trying to holla at me.#2) I look over and yes. the dj is. in fact. looking directly at me and mouthing the lyrics to whatever song was playing pointed my way.#it was pretty sweet honestly I think it was partly cause I looked like I was shy and alone#3) whatever gay shit was going on with my coworker and i. amusingly he seems to get more flamboyant when he drinks just like i do.#im not 100% sure what his sexuality is but i Am 100% sure it is Not straight. but yeah. if it hadn’t been so close to closing time ive been#hardcore wondering where that would’ve gone. maybe its for the best that i had to go when i did cause i was pretty drunk and who knows when#I could’ve hit the amount of drunk it takes to like outright say hey just so you know i’d suck your dick right now if you wanted
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I'd love to jump into the head of someone who is more emotionally aware than me. (I'm not smart, please don't interpret this as that) but I've always intellectualized things (always) for as long as I can remember.
I'd just love to experience the world from a perspective where you know what you're feeling.
#ME MAKING NO SENSE#i really do try so hard#also#i THINK a lot#probably more than the average person#but /thinking/ genuinely means !nothing! in terms of being smart#i have the dumbest thoughts even though i /think a lot/#so please don't take this the wrong way#also the 'average person' is actually -probably- a small amount of people#i think a LOT of people are just pretending#like they're better than a lot of /us/ (sorry for dragging you all into this but pls relate to me)#but they're secretly suffering#that's my take for the day#i genuinely feel like i was born to THINK but to NEVER ever /solve/ anything whatsoever#that's up to someone else#also probably why i feel so stagnant in fic-writing because i've explored most of the underlying spiritual-scientific causes of the emotion#THATS WHAT I KNOW#some of u all are SO GOOD at capturing the actual emotion#im in genuine AWE#pls know that#(obviously there's so so so many people like me)#so scared of sounding narcissistic#you're probably all smarter than me#HOPE UR ALL GOOD if u /god forbid/ got this far <3
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