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omegawolverine · 4 years ago

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Braid Me a Home

summary:

"Braid my fucking hair, Theseus. Braid it.”

It had sounded like a plea falling from Techno’s chapped lips, blood caked under his nails as he sat in front of Tommy on a tree stump, slowly itching at his wrists.

“Wilbur told me to stop you if you ever started doing that-”

“Wilbur isn’t fucking here. Just...braid, Toms. Braid.”

A story about the Sleepy Bois being family, told through braids.

word count: 2.5k

warnings: child neglect, hurt/no comfort, canonical character death, implied/referenced mental health issues (like it’s obvious but there isn’t much detail to it), brief blood mentions (ik this fic sounds kinda angsty as hell but its not? imo its light angst)

a/n: first dream smp fic and im ALREADY projecting? christ. anyways. go easy on me pls this is far from my best work i just havent written a fic in like 5 months (more if you dont count the fucking chat fics) mm also i may have posted this like a week ago on ao3 just to test the waters and its already gotten way more comments and kudos than any fic of mine usually gets this early on so hopefully tumblr enjoys it too :]

—

When Wilbur Soot was born, he came out crying, as most babies do. Covered in vernix and blood, he weighed just barely above the seven-pound mark, gasping out sharp cries that only a parent could truly stand, or worse—love. Though he was the second baby born into the family that day, he was fussed over far more than he would ever be again.

Technoblade, on the other hand, had barely made a sound when he came out, a trail of blood smeared across his forehead, almost as if it was meant to be there. He made small noises that were more akin to confused mumbles, weakly grasping at his father’s hair when he was eventually passed on for the second child to be welcomed into the world.

Only when both boys were held in their father’s grasp did Wilbur quiet down, his soft head leaning into his father’s beard as he stared wide eyed at the boy across from him. Though they looked similar enough, Technoblade’s nose was squished further back into his face, appearing almost snout-like to Philza. Of course Wilbur noted this, wiggling until their father somehow managed to get them pressed right up against each other with minimal damage done. Though Techno never stopped squinting like an annoyed old man at Wilbur, he allowed the other to press a fist against his nose, his eyebrows unfurrowing just the slightest bit at the touch.

From that day on, Philza was the father of two twin boys—a loud boy who cried easily, but always calmed down for his older brother, and a rather monotone one, who’s face seemed to be permanently stuck in a scowl, unless said face was being smushed around by the younger. And things worked like that for a while. Not forever, but...a while.

—

Philza taught Wilbur to braid on a hot Monday afternoon.

It had been a rough day for the boy, though Phil hadn’t a clue why. Maybe he had just woken up on the wrong side of the bed? Or maybe he hadn’t slept enough between bedtime and the time Tommy had started crying again, the youngest boy’s crib being right beside his head and all. Though it might’ve seemed cruel from an outsider’s perspective, Wilbur had been the one to ask for it. Something about Tommy being his little brother and how he needed to teach the boy the ways of the world in the same way Techno had taught him—because apparently that was all Techno’s doing now, not Phil’s.

Regardless, Wilbur had been a bit too snippy for Phil’s liking that day, complaining about every little thing they did until finally, the day was over.

Well, as over as it could be with Techno leaving mid foam sword fight, an annoyed shout of ‘I quit!’ leaving his mouth before he snatched up Tommy’s carrier and brought him inside for god knows what reason.

It had only been around four P.M. by that time—too early for dinner, yet too late for Phil to really demand the boy stay outside and continue to entertain himself with a brother who was clearly not entertained himself.

Details aside, Phil isn’t really sure how they got to braiding. He just knows at some point they did and by the end of their outside time, just before the clock struck six, Wilbur had made two thick, messy braids in his hair. They stuck out awkwardly, looking all too similar to Pippi Longstocking’s iconic hairdo for his comfort, but he’d be damned if he took out the braids his son had so happily rushed inside to show his older brother before demanding to do his hair as well. After all, Wilbur didn’t have long enough hair for braids, but Technoblade sure as hell did. It was only at his shoulder blades back then, brunette curls wrapping around his narrow shoulders and thin arms like thick vines.

Wilbur had always enjoyed brushing it out with his fingers and putting cute, handmade clips or flowers in it at random, decorating the waves for his brother who was more than happy to let the boy do as he pleased. Though he would never admit it, Technoblade liked how it felt when Will played with his hair. He was always careful not to tug too hard, prioritizing the comfort of his other half more than the beauty of his work, as he so often referred to it.

So when Will had presented him with the mess that was his first two braids, he wasn’t hesitant at all to let the boy practice on him. Instead, he walked to the couch with a small smile, removing his glasses gently and getting comfortable before his brother plopped down into the space behind him. Long legs draped over long legs with no warning, thighs pressed together as if they were meant to be like that all along—and they might as well have been, for how often they did this.

Phil had watched them from the doorway in content silence, Tommy sitting behind him in a wooden high chair looking bored, but not making a fuss for once. And as he left that doorway to begin dinner, he listened to their muffled conversation and soft bursts of laughter with a small smile on his lips, for he knew things wouldn’t always be this way. They would have to grow up eventually, and when they did, things would change. Phil could only hope it was for the better.

—

When Tommy turns nine, Wilbur teaches him to braid under circumstances not too different from the ones he had learned under himself.

Well. Not too too different.

Philza and Technoblade had been...busy as of late. In the house for three days, out for a week, in for a week, out for three more, over and over and over again. Wilbur had become more like a father to Tommy in recent months than he should’ve been, his fourteenth birthday fast approaching as their father took Techno out for yet another job, one that Wilbur couldn’t come on because he was too fucking weak to do anything Techno could do, too fucking stupid to learn all the techniques Techno did, lacking all the strength and agility his older sibling possessed, like the useless prick he was-

Right. This is about Tommy.

When Tommy was nine, his hair rested gently against his collarbones in the exact same cut and color as their father wore. If Wilbur was a lesser man, he would’ve hated the kid for it, but it wasn’t his fault that he couldn’t see what a selfish git their father truly was yet. All he knew was that their dad was busy a lot and that, for some reason, Techno needed to go with him. Apparently, that was enough for him to keep holding onto the idea that one day, the man would stay longer and maybe, just maybe, show him some of the same care that his older brother did.

If Wilbur was a better man, he would tell Tommy the truth. He would tell him all about the way Philza had called him useless in a fight, forcing him to instead stay home and care for a child while still being one himself. He would mention how Philza had given him no instructions on how to care for a developing child, how he left out key details to parenting on his own as a goddamn thirteen-year-old, yet remembered to tell him things would be better this way because god forbid he does his fucking job as a father for anyone but Technoblade—

Who he missed. He missed Technoblade, his other half, so fucking bad it hurt sometimes—so bad it left him gasping for breath at two A.M., his head pounding in tandem with his uneven heartbeat, lungs burning as his snot and tears soaked into his brother’s cold, cold sheets. And it made him feel fucking pathetic because the truth of the matter was that...Techno had left him behind too. Still, he couldn’t bring himself to hate the older boy, no matter how hard he tried. Couldn’t hate Philza either, if he were to be honest with himself, but it was a lot easier to pretend he did when his father was the one putting them all in this position to begin with.

So, Tommy was nine when he learned how to braid.

Phil had promised him and Techno would be back Tuesday morning.

It was Wednesday afternoon.

Tommy didn’t fucking understand, and as frustrating as it was that the prick decided to take it out on Wilbur, he couldn’t blame him. Who else was he supposed to take this shit out on? Certainly not the man who had yet to return.

Wilbur had started the braid as a way to distract him. It was simple, really—tell him you know something he doesn’t and that he won’t get to know if he doesn’t sit the fuck down and listen.

When he had started tugging the boy’s hair back from his face, his immediate reaction was to jerk away, swatting at the hands that hovered over his shoulders. This only happened once or twice more before he let it happen naturally, his posture stiff as Wilbur ran his fingers through the boy’s hair with practiced ease.

Though it may not have seemed like it, Tommy was significantly more averse to touch than Techno had ever been. The only reason Techno even seemed averse to it was because of his hesitance to initiate, something he and Wilbur had discussed in depth. Rejection was one of the few fears Technoblade truly had and Wilbur held that fact close to his heart, ready to die with it if need be. Tommy, on the other hand? He was very particular about where and when and why someone was touching him, and it had taken Wilbur a long time to get used to that fact. But, he wasn’t about to make his little brother uncomfortable just so he could be happy and, eventually, he learned the ins and outs of how to touch TommyInnit without causing issue.

Pulling a few of the shorter strands towards the front of Tommy’s face loose, Will separated the blonde’s hair into three sections. They were rather small, what with how thin and short his hair was, it just barely being long enough to even have a proper braid in it, but Wilbur knew he could make it work.

“Now, Toms, you gotta listen to me here, because I can’t show you this bit, yeah? Phil and Tech aren’t here, and my hair is too short, so you’ll just have to feel it out for now, but...this is how you braid hair-” Wilbur had said in a soft voice, brushing the pad of his thumb over the boys neck slowly to ease the tension out of his shoulders. The effect was immediate, the boy slouching forward as if he had just noticed he was holding himself so sternly. Smiling softly, Wilbur instructed him on how to weave the strands together, answering questions and pulling lightly at Tommy’s hair so he could feel exactly where everything went. After he was done, Tommy had reached back to feel the bumps in his hair, all his earlier anger seemingly gone as he gave a small smile. And then he tried it himself.

Of course he got a bit of help at first, Wilbur’s larger hands guiding his own with gentle corrections, but after that Tommy worked on it alone, his older brother watching in silence from a patch of grass beside the porch step.

That night, Tommy and Wilbur slept in Techno’s bed, a soft, blue blanket wrapped tightly around them. And if another body woke them up at some point that night, shoving its way into the mess of limbs, their chest pressed right up against the youngest boy’s back, then that was only for them to know.

—

At eleven years old, Tommy takes a pair of scissors to his hair. With flushed cheeks and salty lips, his hands shaking and his eyes foggy, he cuts, cuts, cuts, until he can no longer braid his hair—until he can no longer look like fucking Phil.

Even though Wilbur had once said he hated Tommy’s long hair—hated how similar he and their dad looked—he felt like crying as he ran his fingers through the uneven strands. He didn’t tell his brother this though, instead grabbing his face and planting a wet kiss on his freckled forehead. In a fierce whisper, Wilbur had said, “I’m so fucking proud of you, Tommy. So fucking proud.”

Tommy never forgets the way he felt that day. He doesn’t forget Wilbur’s words either.

—

When Wilbur loses his last life, Technoblade tells Tommy to braid his hair.

It wasn’t a question either, but a demand forced out between gritted teeth, his face red, his nose stuffy and his lashes wet with unshed tears. Still, his words were clear as day.

“Braid my fucking hair, Theseus. Braid it.”

It had sounded like a plea falling from Techno’s chapped lips, blood caked under his nails as he sat in front of Tommy on a tree stump, slowly itching at his wrists.

“Wilbur told me to stop you if you ever started doing that-”

“Wilbur isn’t fucking here. Just...braid, Toms. Braid.”

Tommy sniffled, but did as he was told.

Maybe it was because he was too tired to argue with the only person he even had left. Maybe it was because he could tell Technoblade was mad at their father for the first time in his life, and he knew how bad his first time had felt. Or, maybe, it was just because he knew Techno fucking cared. Nobody else seemed to, but he knew Techno did and...that was enough for him.

As long as someone else cared—as long as it was fucking Technoblade—that was enough for him.

Just as Tommy had finished the braid, curling his finger around the light pink tail that tied the whole thing off, Techno yanked it forward. Before he could even register that the hair had left his hand, the older boy had taken an axe to the top of it, letting the rest of his hair fall around his face in uneven curls. Though it was a good ten minutes of work wasted, Tommy couldn’t say a damn thing as he watched Techno pocket the braid, muttering a thank you and heading in the direction of Wilbur’s unofficial grave.

In that moment, he felt relief for the first time in a long while.

—

Wilbur Soot was born covered in vernix and blood, weighing just barely above the seven-pound mark, and he came into the world much like he left it. Everyone had heard his cries—even if they weren’t there, even if they didn’t know him well—they had saw the way he spiraled, desperate and afraid and paranoid, searching for help, but never receiving enough.

And though he was the second child born, he left the world first, returning in a yellow sweater with a small braid tucked behind his ear. He didn’t really know why he had one, but he remembered braiding Techno’s hair and he remembered teaching Tommy how to do his own and he remembered, he remembered, he remembered the braids.

#dream smp #/dsmp #dsmp #sleepy bois inc #sbi #tommyinnit #wilbur soot #technoblade #philza #ph1lza #fic #fics #fanfic #fanfiction #the dream smp #shit self #dami writez #/rp #dsmp fic

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brelione · 4 years ago

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The Goddess Part Two (JJ Maybank x Reader)

Part Three Part One

The next time he saw you was at the petting zoo.He knew you’d be there but for some reason he was still shocked to see you.You hadnt seen him yet,though.It was before opening hours.He was hiding in the lower branches of a tree,watching as you sung to the goats.He couldnt even understand the words you were saying,just the sound of your voice as it hit unbelievably high notes.It was enough to make his heart thump,his chest to tighten and him to almost fall off of the tree branch he had been clinging too.Suddenly you were all that mattered to him.Nothing else existed.Just you.His eyes were almost like cameras,zooming in on you.You were wearing a white sundress that somehow hadnt gotten any dirt or goat poop on it.Your hair was messy and curly from the salt water you swam in all the time,your shiny jewelry glistening in the sunlight.You snapped your fingers,one of the smaller goats had literally jumped on you.

You giggled,holding a flower out to it.The goat got back down and they ran around their hay covered fenced in area.Your house was a good distance away from the area but it was still within his line of vision.Your family was absolutely rich but you werent kooks.You guys willingly chose to live in a shitty house.It looked shitty from the outside but JJ had never been inside.Your father had payed JJ large amounts of money to mow your lawn every tuesday.It didnt need to be mowed.You could just have the goats eat up the excess grass,or the chickens,or the cows.But little did JJ know that you were behind his weekly job.You knew that JJ didnt have a lot of money and shifted between John.B’s house and his own house,spending some nights at the beach.

You wanted JJ to have a good amount of money for anything he might need.Whether it be gas,a coffee,a new shirt,going to the laundromat.You just liked the idea of him being safe and happy all the time.Thats when he had seen you wearing that lovely sweater.You had come out of your house,placing a small jar of home made jam,a paper bag and an energy drink out on your deck before going back inside.JJ had been watching you out of the corner of his eye,blushing a bit when he realized that you were leaving him a breakfast.You left the fenced in area,the goats trying to follow you out. “Oh,dont act like you dont get all the attention in the world!”You had said quietly to them as they stared up at you.

JJ didnt even wonder how he had heard it from where he was.You were walking towards the tree with a light blue bag.JJ cursed,trying to move higher up in the tree.He hadnt even noticed that he was in the branches above the cows.There were six cows total,two of which were extremely fluffy.When you got to the fence only a few feet away from him you looked over at the tree. “Hey.”You nodded before opening the light blue bag.His eyebrows furrowed,stunned by how casual you were being. “Hi.”He replied,his voice sounding hoarse.He mentally slapped himself,clearing his throat quietly. “You know we dont let anyone pet the goats or hold the chickens until 10.What’s up?”You asked,taking fistfulls of food out of the light blue bag as cows approached you.He rolled his eyes so far back in his head he should’ve been able to see his brain,resting his head against the tree bark.Why did you have to be like this?He actually wanted to talk to you,to have a conversation and make you giggle.

“I mow your lawn on Tuesday’s,princess.”He reminded you.You raised your eyebrows as you pet one of the cows. “J,its monday.”You huffed as you let another cow eat oats straight out of your hand.He scoffed. “It is not-”He paused to take out his phone,checking the day. “Shit.”He groaned.You smiled. “Its fine,JJ.Have you eaten today?”You asked.He grumbled something. “What?”You asked.He sighed. “I said,why do you care?”He asked.You shrugged,tossing out more oats. “Breakfast is really important for you guys.”You replied,eyes going wide when you realized what you said.He squinted. “What?You mean poor people?”He asked,aggravated.You shook your head. “No,JJ.Thats not what I mean at all.You’re a growing boy,you need to eat.”You explained yourself.He hopped down from the tree,towering over you.

You stared up at him.He stared at you with admiration.Your eyes were slightly puffy from just waking up,the whites of your eyes slightly pink.You smelled like peaches,cookie dough and ocean.It was a strange concoction but somehow it was pleasant.You were wearing cute socks that had winnie the pooh on them.You werent wearing shoes though,just the socks and the dress. “So um...I have to collect the chicken eggs.Do you want breakfast or a coffee or something?”You asked,playing with your bracelets.As much as he hated you-or at least as he pretended to hate you he was really hungry.He wasnt hungry.He just wanted to be around you.He shrugged. “Okay,but that doesnt make us friends.”he pointed at you.You nodded,biting back a smile. “Wouldnt dream of it.”You replied.He followed you to the chicken coop. “Morning ladies!”You exclaimed as you opened the nesting boxes,placing the eggs in an egg carton. “Um….Im sorry JJ,but could you please hold this?”You asked,gesturing toward the egg carton.

He held out his hands and you thanked him quietly,handing him the egg carton.Perhaps if he really hated you as much as he said he did he would drop the eggs on purpose.But he didnt.You apologized a few times for the long walk to the house from the chicken coop.You struggled to open the door,kicking it open.He just followed you to the kitchen.Your house was….it was just kind of beautifully chaotic.Murals across the walls,mermaids,a sunset with beautiful blue waves.Your kitchen had white tiles on the floor,marble counter tops and a white fridge.The table had a white tablecloth that was covered with flower print.You placed the two egg cartons you had been carrying down.You jumped a bit when you moved your elbow,feeling JJ right behind you. “Sorry.”You mumbled,moving out of the way.He grinned at how nervous he was making you right now.Usually it was the other way around.Your kitchen smelled like bread and strawberries.His nose was correct.

He spotted jars of strawberry jam and saw a loaf of bread wrapped in parchment paper. “What do you want for breakfast?”You asked him.He glanced at the bread and jam on the countertops.You turned,getting the message.You told him to sit down at the table and he couldnt help but feel a bit uneasy.He’d never been inside your house before.He looked outside your kitchen window to see your garden.Your garden was kind of famous.Lemon and peach trees,berry bushes,flowers,herbs,garlic and potatoes.People from figure 8 would call your father when they were in need of bread,biscuits,muffins,cakes,jellys,jams,eggs.

Basically anything.A good amount of families had hosted birthdays at your house and you’d help your father bake the cakes,usually making spaghetti or mac and cheese for the children.And now JJ was sitting at your kitchen table about to dine like a king free of charge.He took this chance to ask you some questions about yourself,knowing youd probably answer honestly without thinking about it because you were currently busy. “So like...whats the deal with your mom?”He asked.You shrugged your shoulders as you spread jam across a slice of bread. “She dropped me off at the door then disappeared.”You replied.Youd been over the story dozens of times,no emotions even ties to the story at this point.He nodded. “That sucks.”You giggled quietly at the statement.You really didnt care.She made her choice and your father made his.

“So what do you do all day in this house?You never go anywhere.You got a lot of boyfriends that come around?”He asked.You sighed as you cut up an apple.You smiled to yourself.That was the stupidest thing youd ever heard. “I go places.”You retaliated.He scoffed. “Where?Where have you gone?”He asked.You blushed from the realization. “I go to the beach.”You replied,looking over your shoulder. “You need to get out more.Half the people on this island dont even know you exist.”He watched how your body moved as you arranged the apples into a flower. “Okay.”Was all you had do say before you placed the plate down in front of him. “You want some coffee?”you asked.He shook his head.

“Sit down.”He suggested.He was telling you what to do in your own house.That was probably the strangest thing that had happened for you that week.You sat across from him,tapping on the wooden table. “thanks,(Y/N).”He mumbled quietly.You just nodded.He stared down at his plate,not touching the food. “You’re not gonna eat anything?”He asked.You shook your head. “Not up for it,I already had a coffee today.”You replied.He nodded. “You werent freaked out over the fact I was in one of your trees...why?”He asked.You just shrugged. “A lot of weird stuff happens in my life,believe it or not.”You replied,watching him pull apart his bread and stuff it in him mouth. “So...um….are you gonna leave when youre done with breakfast?”You asked.He grinned. “Wow,trying to get rid of me already?”He asked.You huffed. “Its not like that!Im just trying to figure out what my plan is for the day.”You explained yourself.He nodded.

“Its not like you’ve got any big plans.I think im gonna stay around here just to spite you.”He smiled.You nodded. “Okay.”You replied.He ran his hand through his hair. “Im kidding.”He replied.You nodded. “Right.I mean I guess you could stay here if you want.”You offered.He chewed his bottom lip. “What if you come with me to the beach and surf for a while?Ive heard you’re okayish as surfing.”He smirked.You scratched your collarbone. “Uh...okay.Okay.”You mumbled awkwardly.You couldnt believe you had just agreed to hang out with JJ Maybank of all people.He hated you.You just had to hope that he wouldnt murder you or something.His eyes widened. “Yeah?You’re gonna come over to the dark side with me?”He asked,smile widening.You grinned. “Dont make me regret it.”You mumbled,getting up from the table.He heard you go up the stairs and he let out a loud sigh.He really just did that.

He wiped his palms of his shorts,blinking hard.He was gonna spend the day with you.He couldnt mess this up.That being said you already thought he hated you and he was kind of a bitch to you but now you would get to actually hang out with him.This was his chance to become your friend.He ate the rest of his breakfast as quickly as he could,placing the plate in the sink.He heard you come back down stairs.He turned to send you a teasin remark but his jaw fell,eyes going wide when he saw what you were wearing.That sweater.You had changed out of the dress,now wearing black shorts,flip flops and that sweater that looked unbelievably amazing on you. “Uh-youre ready to go?”He asked.You nodded.The two of you walked out and you stopped to grab your surfboard. “I know a good surf spot.”He told you.You nodded.He took you down some old dirt roads and a small path through the woods.WHen you came out of the woods you were on pale hot sand,shells and small smooth rocks sprinkling across the land. “The waves are kinda small but theyll get bigger.”He said,sitting down. “Thats what she said.”You grinned to yourself.

@xlittlemissydjx @lasnaro

#jj maybankxreader #jj maybank #jj x you #jj outer banks #outer banks #jj obx #obx #sarah cameron #john b #rafe cameron #kiara carrera

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burnedbyshoto · 5 years ago

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Pocky Challenge

Kinktober Day 10 ~ kink: biting/marking

pairing: switch!sero hanta x switch fem!reader

warnings: smut, cursing, ya know the drill

word count: 3,833

a/n: this is my first time writing for sero so LMAO IF I GET HIS CHARACTER WRONG DONT @ ME, anyways I hate yall for making me write smut as the first thing for so many characters........ but this is super cute and we love an story with bakusquad so eAT IT UP. also its a switch because yall were on god 50/50 for dom or sub sero

✩✶✩❇✩✶✩

Sero Hanta prided himself on being a reasonably laid-back guy. He knew when to light the fire under his ass, but most of the time he was chill.

Many people go as far as to say they’d never seen him freak out. That was also true, as Sero tried to be as level headed as possible, even when facing grave odds. So it was no surprise that when he was freaking out, everyone panicked.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN Y/L/N IS COMING TO MY ROOM?” Sero screamed as he desperately tried rearranging his neat house. “I CAN’T LET HER SEE MY HOME LIKE THIS?!”

“Do you think y/l/n thinks Sero doesn’t live here?” Kaminari staged whispered to Kirishima who knocked him in the ribcage with his elbow.

“Sero, I think you need to calm down! I’m sure she’s not going to judge! Is there anything we can do to help?” Kirishima asks, his hands going to pick up shoes Sero had left outside of his closet.

“I’m not going to fucking help out,” Bakugou rolled his eyes as he scoffs. Kirishima rammed his elbow into Bakugou’s ribcage.

“WHY WOULD MINA INVITE HER OVER?!” Sero screams as he moves around the home in a whirlwind. Tape shooting everywhere and the desperate words of Kirishima were being entirely muffled.

“Well, Mina said she is very tired of us bozos, or something like that. Plus, y/l/n is her best friend.” Kaminari says throwing an arm around Sero who was panting. Desperate to see what marginal thing he could fix. “I think your house looks great!”

“Yeah, super manly!”

The three of them looked over at Bakugou who had his arms crossed, face twisted into a scowl. “It’s okay.” He muttered and Sero nearly collapsed in relief.

The front door then swung open, Mina marching in with a large grin as you followed in afterward. A pack of pocky in your hands. “Alrighty, my dumb babies,” Mina proclaimed thrusting a box in her hands forward. “Who’s ready to lose at some trivia?!”

“Let’s hope there isn’t any academic stuff in there, huh raccoon eyes.”

“I told you Kacchan, nothing you say hurts me!” Mina cackles as she sat down, and Kirishima had to restrain Bakugou from fighting the pink girl.

“Nice house, Sero!” You exclaimed looking around with a bright smile. “I haven’t seen it in a while.”

Sero nearly faints in Kaminari’s arms as the six of you sink to the ground. Mina screaming the instructions and the teams. Sero froze as you sank next to him, smiling broadly as you shifted the boxes opening towards him, “Did ya want one?” You ask.

“I really LOVE POCKY!” Sero yelps and your grin fades and everyone stared at him. Sero wheezes at the encouraging thumbs up Kirishima and Kaminari flash him. The hard facepalm by Bakugou, and the smirk from Mina. You are oblivious though. You laugh, shaking your head, once again offering the box. “Thank you.”

“Are you sure we can’t ask her to leave, this is embarrassing for me.” Bakugou hisses at Kirishima who shakes his head.

“Leave him alone, it’s not every day you’re eighteen and in love with a beautiful girl.”

Sero laughs a bit too loudly at something you say. He flushes and begins choking on the chocolate covered pretzel.

“I’m going to fucking kill him.”

“No, you won’t!”

✩✶✩❇✩✶✩

Sero glances over at you. You were in what was a rather intensive battle against Kaminari. Both of you arguing over what was the right answer because, “I know what I’m talking about, and you’re the idiot here!”

“KIRISHIMA!” Both of you shouted at the same time. Kirishima choked. His hands waving to calm down his a bit too passionate about trivia partners. “WHO’S RIGHT?!”

“I told you, I have no idea what the names of the CareBears are!” Kirishima said, scratching his cheek.

“Thirty seconds!” Bakugou snaps, eager for this time to tap out as they have because no one on their team knew anything apparently.

“KAMINARI, I’M TELLING YOU CAREBEAR IS PINK WITH A DAMN FUCKING RAINBOW!”

“NO, CARE BEAR IS YELLOW WITH A SUN!”

“HOW DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE?! WHY WOULD THE SUN BE ASSOCIATED WITH CARING?!”

“OH, I DON’T KNOW? SUN GIVES VITAMIN D! WHICH MAKES YOU HAPPY!”

“YOU’RE SO FUCKING DUMB!!!”

“Care Bear is pink with a rainbow, final answer.” Kirishima groans as you scream in victory.

Sero freezes as both you and Kaminari snap their attention to him, after all, he had the answer. “Y-You’re correct!”

“DAMNIT SHITTY HAIR, WHY DIDN’T YOU LISTEN TO DUNCE FACE?!”

“The vitamin D thing really turned me off.”

“...touche.”

Sero sighed as everyone got up, it was well past three a.m., and your team had finally won. Sero didn’t even have time to stand up before everyone was gone. Shouts of goodnights filling the house. As well as Bakugou complaining about not being able to get the proper hours of rest he needed. All while Kaminari made fun of him.

“They clear out really fast.” You state from besides Sero, and he freezes.

“Oh… ye-yeah they do that a lot!” Sero grins over at you. He savors in the fact that you seem comfortable around him. Your shoulders caving as you groan.

“Well, thanks for hosting! You guys are definitely a lot different to hang out with than Uraraka and co.”

“R-Really? It’s not like this?”

“Well… we don’t have a Bakugou to bully as you guys do, so no!” You giggle and Sero laughs. Both of your hands moving for the Pocky in the box.

You both freeze as it’s the last one, and Sero yanked his hand away, face blushing. His voice stammering out an apology as you laugh it off. “It’s okay, we can share!” You state, and Sero watches as you place the chocolate pretzel between your lips. “Come on.” Your muffled voice states.

“W-Wait, what?”

With a grin, you take the pretzel out of your mouth, a crooked grin on your face. “You have heard of Pocky Challenge, right?” Sero nods his head, of course, he has! At this point who hasn’t? “Play it with me?”

Your words are innocent enough, but the gleam in your eyes, and the feeling in your smile makes Sero moan. His hands slam over his mouth, face flushed red, and embarrassed pants leaving his lips. Your eyes only gleam brighter as you shift closer. The snack swinging in-between your teeth.

“I mean, unless I’m reading into things wrong, you do like me right? If not I’ll totally forget this!” You say, your hands touching the tops of his thighs. A seductive smirk on your face.

Sero nods his head, breathes escaping his nose harshly. Too fast to be normal. Too fast for Sero Hanta! He watches as your fingers raise the pretzel up to his mouth, shaking it slightly as you grin. “Open wide.”

And he does.

Sero quivers under your weight as the two of you take another bite. His heart feels like it’s about to rip out of his chest as another bite happens. He can feel your breath hitting his chin. He almost snaps the Pocky. Sero groans as you crawl closer, your lips so close it’s frustrating. The smell of perfume overwhelming him as you’re one more bite away.

Then it happens, your lips pressed against his. You jaw moving as you chew, and Sero forgets how to breathe as you crawl onto his lap. His hands trembling against your skin. Sero feels like fainting as your arms wrap around his neck, your hips shifting to sit better against his lap. It’s too much to handle, it’s too much for him to take in as you move.

Sero pulls away panting, and you grin as you kiss down his neck. Sero moaning as your teeth bites into his skin. “I win.” You whisper against his skin and Sero gawks at you. Unable to think of anything to say as you continue sucking and biting on the same spot. A lecherous moan escaping his lips as your hip easily rolls in rhythm with your love bites.

“D-Does this, shit, does this mean you like me?” Sero squeaks under your mouth. You pull away from his neck, and Sero groans. The spot you were paying attention to feels rough and sore, and most definitely throbbing.

“I’ve liked you since our first year, Sero.” You state, your lips pressing against his own softly. “You’re the one who’s catching up here.”

“B-But I-I, oh my god!” Sero groans. Your mouth is back over his jugular. Your teeth nipping, nibbling, and biting over the sensitive skin. Sero throws his head back overwhelmed by your increased passion. His breathing is heavy as your lips and teeth continue their assault. His senses are overwhelming as you shift towards his collarbones. Your hips now rocking against his. Sero moans as a particular roll has him now completely hard.

You take notice in it as you pull his shirt off over his head, your grin devious as your lips press against his once again. “You have no idea how long I wanted to do this.” You sigh as your fingers run up and down his toned skin. “You’re the worst at focusing on someone.”

“I-I’m sorry!” Sero squeaks as your canines drag against his chest, your arms pushing him down. His back hitting the cold floor. Sero can feel his cock twitch as your mouth never stops biting its way down. He can see the purple bruises and teeth marks everywhere. The entire display of dominance making him thrust his hips against your own.

A moan escapes your lips. A sound Sero only heard in his wet dreams, a sound he could only imagine. A sound he very much so loved as you continued down. Your teeth biting down on his nipple.

“Y/l/n!” Sero squeaks, his hands attaching to your waist as you giggle.

“I’m leaving your body in hickies, I think the least you can do is call me y/n.” You tease, your eyes staring into Sero’s soul as you leaned down, your tongue swirling around his nipple. Sero squeaks at how erotic it looks, something he never imagined to happen ever.

He grunts as your lips trail further down, your fingers ghosting over his hard cock. He watches with wide eyes as you groan. “Hanta, I don’t think you even know how beautiful you are.”

Sero freezes as your hands unbutton his shorts, and he lets out a low hiss as you remove the fabric. Sero pants as the tented materials of his underwear capture your attention. “Aw, are you excited to see me?” You giggle as Sero laughs.

“I’m going to say yes,” Sero teases, and you grin.

“I was wondering where your personality went.” You giggle, and your fingers hook around his waistband. “May I?”

“Please?”

Sero watches with almost pure fascination as your fingers peel away his boxers. His cock springing out, and your hand grasping it firmly within your fist. “Now,” You say with a sigh. “I know you’re excited and all, but as you lost, you’re not allowed to come into my mouth.”

“Wait, what--y/n!”

Your mouth envelopes around his hard dick. Sero hisses as his fingers lock around your hair. His hips unconsciously bucking into your throat. The sound of you gagging fills his ears, and it’s a sound that has Sero cursing everything in existence. Your mouth slides up and down his length. Whatever you’re not easing down your throat is being stroked with your hand.

Sero head slams against his floor, pulling you against his length. You choke slightly, relaxing your jaw and throat as you take on more. His hips work in rhythm with your mouth, allowing for the two of you to feel comfortable as you go down on him. Sero trembles as your hands squeeze his balls firmly in your fingers. His eyes rolling as you massage them.

“Fuck, y-y/n, I needa… SHIT! I need to--” Sero’s hips are frantic in your mouth.

You gag as he hits the back of your throat at full force. Tears springing into your eyes as you try adjusting to having his length down your throat. You grasp his waist as you open your mouth larger, his hips snapping into your mouth with no mercy.

The simple excitement of the man you’ve had a crush on for the longest time sends pressure through your body. The liquid heat of your arousal soaking through your panties.

You moan around his dick, his hips relentless in their conquest. Your eyes can barely keep themselves open on Sero as he fucks your face. “You’re so amazing, y/n.” Sero groans as dick spasms within your mouth, and you choke around him. Fire erupting in your lungs from the lack of oxygen, but it feels so good.

You felt the head of his cock hit the back of your throat as you pulled away despite his grip on your hair. “Don’t be thinking you’re going to be able to come!” You pant, your chest heaving as you try to gain your air back.

But you shriek as Sero sits up, and in one smooth motion as you on your back. Arching against the floor, you hiss at the cold feeling as Sero’s mouth lavishes your skin.

“What are you gonna do to me?” You gasp as Sero bites down on the skin behind your ear.

“Whatever you want,” Sero growls. You sigh as your hands come and press against his chest, his black hair tickling your skin.

“I want you to hit me,” You start, and Sero freezes against your skin. “I want you to bite me, and I want to be breathless.”

You remain still as he pulls away, his black eyes filled with worry and lust. “Are you sure? T-This is my first time, and… well, I don’t want to disappoint you.”

Your fingers touch the back of his head and pull his bruised lips towards yours. You kiss him sweetly, making his chest still as you pull away. “The only way you could ever disappoint me is if you never use your tape on me.”

Sero laughs, pressing his nose to your neck.

“Alright, y/n. I’ll try, no promises I’ll be any good.”

“Oh, you special baby, we both know you’ll have me screaming your name tonight.”

Sero pants his head shaking as he nips your neck. “If you keep saying such crude things I may come even before getting inside you.”

“That would be amazing for me!”

Sero groans but his hands grasp your breasts and squeeze, making your laughter die on your lips as you moan. “H-Hanta.”

“How I see it, you’re not in a position to be laughing at me, babe.” Sero almost mocks. His teeth biting down hard on your collarbone, and you shriek at the pleasure shooting down your body. “I don’t think I can hit you, not tonight at least. But I will make sure you’re bitten and breathless before I’m done with you.”

Your heart hammers in your chest as Sero’s mouth sucks harshly on your tender skin. Your body pressing into his as you moan loudly. “Yes, that feels so good!” You flush as his teeth mark your skin. Sero wasting no time to shift over to an unmarked area of your skin to make more indentions and bruises. Your button-up shirt gets ripped apart. Buttons flying as Sero continues his conquest lower and lower.

Your breathing staggers as Sero marks your breasts. The paler color of your breasts, in comparison to the rest of your body, made the love bites stand out. Sero simply shoving your bra down. You groan as your arms circle below you to remove your bra. Laughing slightly as his teeth attach onto your nipple. Sero mimics your earlier motions, his eyes locked on your burning face.

You shudder as he pulls away with a wet pop, and you stare as he pulls down your skirt, your black tights in his way.

“Do you mind if I--?” Sero asks. His hands grabbing the wet crotch and tearing the fabric in two, your shocked gasps ringing in his ears.

“HANTA!”

But his fingers sink into your waiting cunt, and you pant as his fingers thrust in and out of you. They curl slightly, and your almost shriek makes Sero grin widely.

Your body thrashes on his pumping fingers, and Sero laughs. His lips pressing against your inner thighs. Your head throws back as his teeth sink into your soft flesh, and your hands slam on the floor as you cry out his name.

“You’re so pretty, fucking yourself around my fingers,” Sero states with a grin. His mouth still pressing into your trembling legs as you place marks against your legs. “Such a pretty girl.”

“Hanta, I sw-swear to god!” You moan as your hips roll against his fingers, and Sero laughs.

His fingers pull out of you now throbbing sex, your eyes heavy as you glare at Sero who stands up. Your eyes widen as his tape wraps around your wrists, pulling you to your feet. “You see, I’ve been imagining this day for a very long day, and I’m not fucking you in my living room, sweetheart.” Sero sighs, biting down on a purple bruise on your neck, and you whine loudly. “You had high expectations of me this first time around, and I won’t disappoint you.”

You whimper against his chest. Your thighs rubbing together to release what little tension you could get rid of. His fingers grasped your waist, and you were then hoisted up onto your feet. Your bondage arms slammed between both of your chests, as you groan.

His lips are back on yours, and you shudder as he begins walking down to what you assume is his room as he tosses you on the bed. You move to shift better on the bed, but Sero flips you onto your stomach. Your face turns red as he bites down on your ass, and you slam your face into the mattress.

“Did that embarrass you?” Sero chuckles against your flesh, and you moan in affirmation. “After all that teasing I was expecting you to be a bit tougher to crack.”

“I’m not a brat!” You exclaim. Your body shuddering at the feeling of the tip of his cock teasing your slick, throbbing entrance. “Just stick it in or else I will mount your dick for you.”

“You’re quite the talker.” Sero teases as he easily slides his cock in all the way. Your tangled moans are music to your ears as he began thrusting in and out.

Your breathing hitches as Sero pushes your chest into the mattress. His knees sinking into the mattress and the new angle furthering your pleasure as he thrusts in and out. His speed is almost too slow, and you grunt, shoving your ass back onto his moving hips, and Sero grunts.

“You’re so fucking tight, you need to wait.” Sero hisses, and you laugh.

“Like hell.” You say, your hips increasing in speed. Your tied arms supporting your arched position as his hands grip your skin. His grip will definitely leave bruises, and it excites you even more so as he slowly begins moving with you.

His speed and power overcoming yours, and soon all you can do is scream into the mattress as he’s ramming into you. Sero’s hips snapping deliciously into you. The sounds of your dripping sex resonating throughout the room.

“Mmm, you look so hot like this, baby.” Sero moans. You moan as Sero grinds his hips against yours, his hand snaking around your legs to press onto your clit.

You cry out when his hand comes down hard on your ass, your body nearly giving out as he did so. “H-Hanta!” You squeak, as his hand comes down hard again. Pleasure pained screams fill the room and Sero grunts as his speed increase behind you. A grin on his face, his eyes fascinated with the way your ass shook with his spanks and thrusting.

Again and again, he spanked you.

More and more, the pressure within you built.

The coil in your belly tightening as you struggle to keep from pouring over the edge. Lecherous mewls escaping your mouth as you back arches further onto the bed.

“You’re so fucking hot, y/n,” Sero grunts his fingers pinching your clit, and you sob into the mattress. You felt as if your ass was on fire, it was stinging in the most delicious way as he rammed into you. Sero seemed to be uncaring about how much your pussy was clenching around his cock. It never once interfered with his actions as his hips thrust into you. A rhythm that you could no longer keep up with. “Do you need to cum?” Sero pants and your head nods desperately against the mattress.

“Yes, I need to fucking cum.” You cry as he shifts his hips, and slams back into you.

You swear you can almost see stars as he does so, your eyes rolling back.

He’s found his g-spot, and he continues slamming into the same spot with a breathy laugh.

You’re breathing is hitching. Lack of oxygen burning at your lungs as he slams into it over and over. Shrill screams leaving your mouth as the pressure shoots throughout your body. Your body thrashing against his beating hips and hand.

You come as Sero leans on top of you, his mouth biting the crook of your neck.

Your scream is silent, and your cunt clenched around his moving cock and Sero grunts. His teeth biting harder as his hips continue pounding into you. His speed is unwavering as he chases after your orgasm. Cries finally are heard from you, as your pussy still flutters around his cock and Sero groans.

He unloads his hot seed in you, and you collapse as soon as he pulls out.

“Oh, my god.” You breathe heavily as Sero falls onto the bed beside you, his hands pulling through your hair.

“W-Was I any good?” Sero asks, trying to capture his breath.

“The best.” You say scooting closer to him, and Sero laughs as he cuddles you close.

“I like you, a lot.” Sero sighs pressing a kiss to your damp forehead. “Can I take you out on a date sometime?”

You look up at him, pressing a kiss to his lips, “I would love that…”

The two of you lay in your blissful silence, his hands slipping the tape off your bruised wrists. You smile as you’re able to wrap your arms around him, and the two of you stay. For however long.

“You really bruised me up, I have your hands printed on my ass.”

“...sorry, but you asked for that.”

“True, hashtag no ragRETS!”

“You’re so dumb.”

“Hey, as your girlfriend, I will warn you that you should have known about that a while ago!”

“Hm… true. Hashtag no ragrets.”

“‘Atta boy.”

#sero hanta #sero x reader #sero hanta x reader #sero smut #bnha sero #mha sero #bnha writing blog #bnha #bnha x reader #bnha smut #mha #mha x reader #mha smut #burnedbyshoto does kinktober #bnha kinktober #mha kinktober

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fatrainbowmermaidunicorn · 4 years ago

Text

The Other Girl (Jungkook X You) (ONESHOT)

A/N: Its a bit short but I hope you will like it <3

MASTERLIST

A/N : And also, I’m trying a new thing here and you are in no way obligated to do it but if any of you like my stories and want to give some support, why not buy me a coffee? ☕💜

Jungkook and Rissa.

They are the ultimate couple that everyone want to be. That everyone envy. They are the definition of perfect, romantic, lovable. Everything you want to be as a couple. And everyone always thinks, no, know, that they will end up together forever. There is no way one of them would love someone else, theres no way one of them would leave the other for anyone else.

Y/N smiles and looks into Jungkook's eyes who staring back at her. And she is sure as hell that no one could have ever thought she would be the one who would steal's Jungkook's heart from Rissa.

Thats right, shes the other girl.

Jungkook has always been her dream guy. She has had her eyes on his the moment he step on stage on his debut day. But Y/N is just a trainee, and as Jungkook and his group grew more popular, she knows her chances with him are slim to none. Y/N's heart broke to pieces when she found out that Jungkook also has a long time childhood girlfriend whom he loves so much. Everybody favorite's couple.

Rissa.

It doesnt help that Rissa is the definition of a perfect girl. Beautiful, soft spoken, intelligent, funny, kindhearted. Everything a girl wants to be. And every guy wants to be with. Everybody tells Jungkook thats hes lucky to be with her. That he should hold on to her forever.

They are the perfect couple in everyones eyes.

But all that never once stop Y/N from continuing to crush on him, falling in love with him. Once she debuted herself, Y/N slowly make her way to be friends with Jungkook's hyungs, his friends and slowly, very slowly, make his way into Jungkook's heart.

And now, here she is. In Jungkook's embrace, lips locked with each othet like theres no tomorrow. They have been seeing each other in secret for almost six months now, and it was the most wonderful time for Y/N. The best moments of her life.

"I love you Kookie," she giggles and hugs his neck.

"And you know I love you too baby," he smile and leans in to kiss her. A long, deep, passionate kiss. "I have to go," he pouts. "But I promise I will call you before you go to bed?"

Y/N pouts playfully.

"Do you really have to go home to her, Kookie?"

"You know I dont want to baby, but you know I have to. For now. Okay?" Jungkook smile and stroke her hair. "I love you Y/N,"

"I love you too, so much Kookie. We are going to be together for real, soon right? You promise right? That you will choose me?"

"You know I do baby. Just give me some time yeah?" Jungkook smile and kiss her one last time before leaving.

Y/N pouts alone. Thats the promise Jungkook keeps on giving her ever since they got together. That he will leave Rissa. That they will be an official couple. That he never loves Rissa. That he loves her so much more.

All those promises, they are nice to hear, but deep down, Y/N knows that Rissa will always be Jeon Jungkook's first love and he will always, always love her.

/////

"Hey bunny, you are back. Hows practice?" Rissa smiles and gives him a quick kiss.

"It was okay. Just the usual. Hyungs bickering, Jin hyung fell and all thay," he laughs. "How about you? How was your day princess?" Jungkook smile and kiss her back.

"Same old, same old. Nothing interesting like yours, Im sure," she giggles. "I cooked your favorite for dinner today bunny. Why dont you shower, since you are all sweaty and smelly, and we can have dinner together?"

"Yah, you like it when I'm sweaty," Jungkook grins and winks, making her blush. "But yeah, I'll take a quick shower and I'll be down in a bit okay princess?" Jungkook smile, gives her another kiss and head to the bathroom.

As her usual routine, Rissa went over to where Jungkook throws his clothes and collect his dirty laundry for washing. And just like every single day since the last few months, theres the same perfume smell lingering all over his clothes. A women's perfume. The same one. And of course, stain of lipstick in random places on his clothes. She doesnt want to believe it. Its so unreal that Jungkook would do that to her. But it has been months. Theres no denying it anymore.

Rissa sighs.

Jungkook is still cheating. And she dont know how long her heart can pretend otherwise

/////

"How is the food bunny?" Rissa smile, looking at the man sitting from across of him.

"Delicious as always princess," he smiles and to show he meant it, shoved a large amount of food inside his mouth, making his cheeks blows up like a chipmunk. Rissa giggles. Shes going to miss this mam so so much.

"Im glad you love it bunny. You deserve the best after a tiring day at work,"

"I dont know what I do to deserve you princess. Im the luckiest guy in the world," Jungkook smile and hold her hand from across the table. Rissa stop chewing. Something in what Jungkoom said hit a cord, and it just hurts. So much.

"Jungkook?" Rissa looks up at him.

"Yes?" Jungkook frowns. Its unusual for her to call him by his real name. "Is everything okay?" Jungkook is confused. They were happy just a second ago. What could have happened?

"You know I love you very much right?" Rissa asked, eyes softly looking into his.

"Of course I do know princess. Whats wrong? Anything bothering you? Want to tell me?" Jungkook stops eating and frowns heavily.

"And you. You love me right Jungkook? Just as much as I love you?"

"Rissa, princess. You already know the answer. Of course I love you. You are my life. Now, can you tell me whats going on?"

"Nothing really," she smile and looks down at her plate, slowly playing with her food. "I just want you to know, that it has always been you for me Jungkook. No one else. And Ive never wanted or look at anyone else either. You are my dream come true, and I'm sorry..." she sniffles.

"Sorry? What for? Hey, why are you crying princess?" Jungkook stands up and walks to her side, squating down to her level, startled by her sudden tears.

"Im sorry if I bore you. If my love for you isnt enough. If I am not what you wanted. What you still wanted. Ive tried my best to love you. Im just sorry Im just simply not... enough," she sniffles harder, looking down at her lap.

"Hey, what are you even talking about? Not enough? Where did all this even came from?" Jungkook smile and lifted her chin to look at him. "I love you. Only you. Forever and always right? You are ny everything. You are everything I wanted and everything I could ever dream of. Theres nothing to worry about. I promise. Okay?"

Rissa nodded weakly, knowing everything he said is nothing but empty promises.

They make love that night. Love so passionate, that one could never thought that theres a third person between their love. But there is. And even after a passionate night together, Rissa will never forget the fact.

/////

It has been a few months since that night. And the same thing still happens every single day. Late night texts, whispered calls when Jungkook thought she was sleeping, perfumes and lipstick stain on his clothes... its even worse now because Rissa now knows whos Jungkook is actually cheating with.

Enough is enough. Enough time and chances has been given. Its time. Its time to finally do something about it.

/////

She looks at her. Her beautiful face, with a tired smile plastered on, but still beautiful nevertheless. Y/N can tell right now why Jungkook loves her. She never gets mad, she never raises her voice at him, whenever hes tired, mad or upset, whenever he yells at her for no reason at all, she will say she understand. Her love for Jungkook is unconditional, and Y/N is the reason why Jungkook is hurting her.

"Rissa," was all she could choked out as she looks into her eyes.

"Hello Y/N," she smiles. "Its nice to finally meet you in person. Come, have a seat,"

Y/N feels her throat dries up nervously. Not really sure know what Rissa meant by that. What she being sarcastic? Sincere? What is it? Why did she ask to meet her? Does Jungkook knows about this?

"I- uh yeah, its nice to finally meet you in person too. I-I have heard so much about you," Y/N smiles nervously.

"I'm sure," she laughs. A beautiful sound. How can she still smile brightly at her? Knowing that she has been with her man for so long? Y/N is sure Rissa knows.

"I-uh.."

"Im kidding!" She laughs. "Dont worry Y/N, you dont have to be nervous. I dont bite," she laughs again. "Lets just talk is girls. Yeah? I think we have so mich to talk about, dont you?"

Y/N nods again, nervously.

"Listen Rissa. Jungkook and I..." Y/N stops her words, not knowing herself what she should be saying. Apologize? Beg her to give Jungkook to her? Ask her to share? Explain to Rissa her feelings towards Jungkook? She has no idea. No idea at all what to do or say.

But lucky for her, she doesnt have to think further as Rissa cut her off.

"Im leaving Jungkook,"

Y/N looks at her, mouth slightly gapped open. Out of all the 1001 scenarios in her head, she never expected this to come out from Rissa's mouth. Y/N had imagined Rissa would yell, scream, hit her, slap her, laugh at her, throw a tantrum, everything anf any possible reaction, but not this. Never this.

"What? Rissa you-"

"Im leaving him, and thats my decision," she smile and take a sip of her tea. "Dont get me wrong Y/N. Iys not that I hate him, or stop loving him. I love him. I love Jungkook so much. More than anyone can ever imagined," she smiles softly. "We have been together since we were teenagers. We grew up together, and I always thought me and him are destined to be together till the end of times,"

Y/N clear her throat awkwardly. She wish the earth would just swallow her right now. The pain and hurt in Rissa's voice pierced right through her heart. She has caused another woman pain. When did she become this? What has she done?

"But I cant make something that doesnt work anymore, work... I tried. Oh god, believe me, I tried," she smile again, but a sad one. "You know... I have known about you two for the longest time,"

"Y-you did?"

Rissa laughs, a beautiful one.

"Of course silly. I think everyone knows," she smile again. "You two are always together. And when you two are together, you guys dont really keep it subtle. And it doesnt help how nervous his hyungs were went I asked them where Jungkook went when I surprise him at practice," she giggles but Y/N knows Rissa's heart is breaking. Memories with Jungkook flashes through her mind. The kisses, quickies, secret dates between shows, practices, asking his hyung to lie for them eventhough they know they didnt approve. All those days that they thought were subtle enough and kept a secret.... every little thing they did, her happiness, all at the expense of this beautiful girl's broken heart. What has she done?

"But I thought, maybe Jungkook just need a distraction. We have been together for so long, and in his line of work, he meets pretty girls like you every single day. Hes a man afterall. So I thought, maybe after he gets it out of his system, he will come back to me. That our love was still intact,"

"Y-you knew... and you are willing to let him cheat?"

"I love him Y/N. Ive never love anyone. Hes my everything, my first and I thought, if being with someone else makes him happy, makes him come back to me eventually, Im willing to," she sighs. "But I was wrong. I dont think his love for me is the same as before,"

"Thats not true Rissa! Jungkook loves you! I know he does!" Y/N raises her voice. She dont know why shes trying to protect Jungkook's and Rissa's love when Jungkook has been everything she wanted. With Rissa gone, she shpild be happy. Jungkook is all hers. But something doesnt seems right. Their love is too beautiful to destroy.

Rissa smile softly and stroke Y/N's hand across the table.

"I know you want to believe that Y/N. Maybe so that you wont feel so bad. But truly, its okay. Havent you heard the saying, if you love two people at the same time, choose the second one. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second one? You are the second one Y/N,"

"B-but Rissa. Jungkook-"

"Stop," she raised her hand and shakes her head. "Stop trying to change my mind because I wont. Y/N, I think I owe it to myself to leave. I have done everything to love Jungkook and I dont think its fair for me to share his love when I have given my everything to him," tears finally falls down her soft cheeks. "I finally found the courage to leave, to let go of this fairytale that I wanted so much to come true and finally give myself something I deserve. Someone I deserve. I believe that I deserve someone who will love me for all that I am, and who will give everything he has for me, just like I will do for him. And thats no longer Jungkook," Rissa slowly wiped down her tears and takes a deep breathe.

"So, do me a favour yeah? Love him, take care of him and show him the same kind of love that I have been giving him all these years," she flashed a small smile as she took of the ring from her finger and placed it on Y/N's open palm. "This... Jungkook gave me this when we first met. Its a promise ring he said. We fell in love at first sight," she laughs. "Stupid, I know. But we were young and he promised me, that one day, when hes finally made it when he found everything hes chasing all this while, he will marry me, he will propose with a proper ring," she laughs. "Jungkook is always so dramatic, dont you think?"

Y/N looks at the ring and without realizing, tears has streamed down her face too. Jungkook truly loves her. And Rissa, shes willing to let go so that hes happy. Thats how strong their love are. And here she is, a monster! A home wrecker! What has she done? What has she done?!

"Hes all yours now Y/N. And thankyou for making me realize my worth," she smile one last time and stands up. Without looking back, Rissa walks out, leaving her painful love story for a better future without Jeon Jungkook in it.

/////

"Jungkook?" Y/N walked into their messy apartment after walking aimlessly for a few hours, thinking about her earlier meeting with Rissa. Furnitures are upside down everywhere, vases are broken, books are strewn across the floors. Y/N quickly try to look for Jungkook, hoping hes alright, not sure whats happening.

"Kookie??" She ran to their bedroom and found Jungkook in the dark, at the far corner hugging his knees. Y/N immediately went over and sits besides him, hugging his shoulder. "Kookie? Are you okay? What happened? Did we get rob? What happened? Tell me? Are yoi okay?"

"S-she left. She left me. She left...."

Y/N feels her heart beats faster. Okay, Jungkook has found out then. Rissa must have moved out from their apartment.

"Kookie, baby....I-I know,"

Jungkook looks up with his tear strained face.

"Y-you knew?"

"I-" Y/N paused for a moment. Not knowing if she should proceed. "R-Rissa... she asked to meet me earlier today..."

"She what?" Jungkook immediately perked up and turns to look at Y/N. A part of her feels hurt that Jungkook cares so much about Rissa, that he showed it, especially in front of her. Didnt he say that he loves her? That he wants a future with her? That he will leave Rissa for her? Then what is all this? Shouldnt he be happy instead? Y/N shakes the thoughts away. This is not the time to think about herself. Right?

"She asked to meet me Kookie... and I didnt know what its for until we met," Y/N looks into his eyes whos looking at her, confused. "Rissa... she uh.. she gave me this," she slowly and reluctantly gave Jungkook the ring. Jungkook just stare at it, as if its some poisonous snake that he shouldnt touch.

"Kookie?" Y/N whispered slowly. "Y-you okay?"

He jolted from her the sound of her voice, like someone shocked him and grab the ring, surprising Y/N, and threw the tiny ring across the room.

"She thinks she can just leave me like that?! No fucking way! We promised forever! She promised she will be with me until forever!" Jungkook suddenly screamed. Y/N was taken aback, both by his sudden outburst and whats hes saying. Doesnt Jungkook remember who is with him right now? Doesnt he remember that he promised her forever? That hes supposed to love her, to be with her?

"Kookie p-please calm down," Y/N pulled him tight into her embrace, trying to calm him, immediately making Jungkook burst into tears. "Im sorry Kookie. Im sorry, Im really, really sorry,"

Im really sorry I fell in love with you.

/////

Y/N knows. Oh she knows Jungkook is only staying in the relationship with her, being with her all because of guilt. Just to prove that he made the right decision, that he didnt regret what he did, that he didnt regret he cheated, that hes happy with her. Because, if he didnt... if hes not happy... then he just threw away Rissa, his love, the greatest thing that could have happened in his life, for... her.

The other girl.

Y/N knows, everytime Jungkook thinks she wasnt looking, she saw him staring blanklessly out the window. And Y/N knows hes thinking about her. Her smile, her laugh, if shes thinking of him too. But Y/N also know, that she isnt. Y/N knows that Rissa have moved on. That she would probably have found another man that would love her woth all his heart, make her happpy. The kind of man she deserves. A man that would appreciate her. Why would she think about a man so stupid, a mam who broke her heart like its nothing, so idiotic, a man who would threw out a girl like herself, for a girl like her...

The other girl.

After Jungkook calmed down that day, he asked Y/N to tell hin everything that Rissa told her. Because Rissa left without saying goodbye, without saying anything. Jungkook came back from practice to find all Rissa's things gone. Her stuffed animals, their photos together, her shoes, her books in the side table. Everything. All traces of her... gone.

And thats when Y/N knew how much Rissa was hurting from what she did. Maybe she didnt show it, she didnt say it, but it shows. Y/N also finally knew how much Rissa loves Jungkook. Because she cant even bare to see him one last time. She cant even say goodbye to him. Because she knows she will give in. She will give him another chance and he will break her all over again.

And Y/N finally knew how she has ruined a love so great.

And as years goes by, yes, Y/N and Jungkook are together, exchanging little smile here and there, a dull how are you at the end of the day instead of laughter and love. But Y/N knows, from the dying glint in his eyes whenever he looks at her that whatever they have is not love, never love. She stole away his love story, his one true love, hoping that she can be a greater one, a better one. But she was wrong. Dead wrong.

But is she the only one to blame? Jungkook fell in love too, didnt he? He betrayed their love too? Didnt he? Both hers and Rissa. So she guess they are both to blame. The dark storm in a beautifil love by a beautiful girl.

And for hurting her.

For making her cry.

For breaking her heart.

For making her loose the love of her life...

This is what Y/N deserve. To forever be with the man she loves, the man she long for everyday, the man she wants to love her back as much as she loves him, but he never will.... the man who will forever see her as.. the other girl.

#bts #bangtan #bangtan scenarios #bangtan boys #bangtan seonyeondan #bangtan fanfic #jungkook #BTS jungkook #bts jeon jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook scenario #jungkook angst #jungkook fanfic #kpop #l k #kpop fanfic #kpop scenario

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voidselfshipp · 4 years ago

Text

Tender heart

Ok to rb

Cw:violence, underwater scene and food ment.

Jerico yawned stretching on the bed,her foot hits someones legs and she quickly snaps around.

Luckily wamai hasnt woken up yet.

She sighed figuring she must of have Fallen asleep while talking to him.

She couldnt quite place it,bit when talking to the kenyan Man there was something about his voice that was just so comforting, and it felt like home.

She stood up out of bed, a familiar sensation of claws appeared on her shoulder signaling that sunshine was awake.

Jeri opens the blinds, the perks of working here is that she gets a beautiful view of the sea.

Hearing the bed rustling she smiles as the Man Turned to face her still asleep.

"Cute"she thinks to herself as she walks to her closet,trying to make the smallest ammount of noise possible as to not wake up the Man.

She takes her trusty turtle neck sweater and some other clothes and pair of combat boots to then sneak out the door and walk to the showers.

She took maybe an hour in the shower,figuring by now that ngugi would be awake and gone.

Nope,hes still asleep.

Jer found it both amusing and cute, she sat besides him softly stroking his curly hair.

--hey ngugi, wake up--she said softly,the Man grunts and opens his eyes.

Her hand retreats from his hair and she smiles.

--morning--his voice is deep and raspy, he sits up stretching and making his neck pop--what hour is it?

--Its like...six am , why?

The Man quickly jumps out of bed--Ive got to go quickly! Kali is going to kick my ass if I dont get there right now

Jerico stood up giggling at the sudden informalness of wamai, putting a hand on his shoulder--First you need a shower and some food,hurry your ass up and meet me at the cafeteria--the Man stutters an excuse- ah-ah no ifs and or buts, shower and food first

She pats his chest playfully and walks outside with her eagle flying behind her.

The kenyan Man looks away and chuckles to himself, she surely was interesting.

While jerico waited for ngugi she sat there on the cafeteria with a couple of books and some paperwork.

--¿en que estamos trabajando?--(what are we working on?) She smiled at the familiar accent.

--Nada boludeces del trabajo(nothing just some silly work things).

Flores chuckles,resting his head on his hand-- tenes una pinta de cansada (you look tired)

Jeri nodded stretching-- odio tener que levantarme temprano boludo--(I hate having to wake up early dude)

He nodds in agreement, And they talk for a bit, shed laugh at his jokes and he would at hers, with the ocasional flirting in between.

Wamai however did not find this amusing as the second he entered the cafeteria he heard jeris laughs,his blood seemed to boil as he noticed who was with her.

--Im sorry but this spot Is taken--he said slamming a hand on the table.

--Hey Man--santiago said--we just talkin' a Man cant talk with his friend?

Another stern look forced the Argentine Man to leave,not before winking at jerico and patting her arm--bueno me rajan, me voy preciosa--(aight,theyre throwing me out, goodbye beautiful) he said walking away.

She giggles turning to wamai--Jeez jealous much ngugi?

Wamai sighs--My apologies I.. I dont know what took over me

Jeri shakes her head with a soft smile-- its okay, it was rather cute, but go get your food come on

After eating breakfast both went to their responsabilities.

--Bueenas!--(hello!)she said walking to Zero who was happy to see her.

--Hey, youre here what took ya so long?

She shrugged pulling her fluffy jacket closer,it was a rather windy day.

--Come here--he opened his jacket and she hid under it.

--Thanks

--Dont mention it

At one point jerico herself had to train, under her sweater was a sports top.

Now maybe it was the fact that she didnt sleep that well, maybe the fact that she had her mind in the clouds,but she was getting her ass handed to her in hand to hand combat.

This came with the sassy remarks of kali as jeri called it a day and was putting her sweater and blazer back on.

--If thats how her father trained her, I cant imagine how himself must be, a miracle he didnt die on the Battlefield

Jers hearing was somewhat supernatural, because for starters she wasnt one-hundred percent human.

She grunted trying to Keep her composture picking up her bag with sunshine perched on her shoulder.

Another sassy remark came as she Walked past jaimini--all those medals her father has? They are worthless,how did he let his daughter go into the military?, she inst built for this.

She Turned around walking to kali--the fuck you said to me?

Wamai who was running on the threadmill approached both women.

The other operators, specially smoke and mute took a look at what was happening.

--Im just saying that you and your father arent military material--jamini said-- you got your ass handed to you,If this is how the von-terras fight then its a miracle you made it this F--

She didnt finish because jerico punched her right on the nose, smoke and mute jump in keeping her from kicking kalis ass.

Wamai holds back his boss who looks at jerico in surprise.

--talking shit about me? I dont mind, but dont you ever, EVER talk about my father like that,Next time I wont be too kind,sushine nos vamos (we're leaving)

The eagle flied behind her owner, she should probably get her bloody knuckles checked,but that didnt matter at the moment.

Harry would totally hear about that fight one way or another, but that wasnt important right now.

She sat there in her Office looking at the painting of her dad and her when she was young.

How old was she?,she cant recall the exact number but she does remember that painting.

She smiled as the sunrays hit the painting.

--i hope im not interrupting anything-- Zero said.

--Not at all Sam, what happened?

The Man sat infront of her--Harry got Word of what happened during training, hes letting this one pass because you were justified, he'll talk with kali and he recomended you take the Next two days off

--And you came all this way for that?

Fisher stood up and Walked over to her giving her a quick hug.

She hugged back--Thanks..I really needed it

--And another thing, youre Burning up

Jer nodds lifting her hands from her desk in order to not literally set it ablaze.

The only three people that knew about jericos "identity" were Harry,Sam and ash.

She did as she was told and at night she went for a swim in the beach.

The water sizzled as she entered all the rage dissipated in the water as she quietly sings to herself.

She felt a pair of arms hugging her from behind--may I join you?

She chuckled and softly elbowed wamai on the stomach --Yeah you May

Both talk quietly,trying to avoid the topic of todays fight, even then they were still Friends.

--Hey wanna see something cool?--She asked

--uh...sure?

--follow me!-- she dived under the water and he did the same, they were far off the shore, walking on the sand.

Wamai was puzzled at the fact that she wasnt holding her breath but rather...breathing underwater.

Its the same thing that always catched his attention, she seemed to be super human almost

Hes about to say something but then a soft glow catched his attention what ngugi saw he couldnt Belive.

Massive fishes of every color,they glowed Giant octopi casually swiming above them.

And a song, he couldnt hear the words,but It came from the sea, he felt the beat in his whole body, as if the Ocean was speaking to him

Jerico let him walk around the fish for a bit, finding the cuteness of his Curiosity endearing.

But eventually they had to leave.

They Swim back to the shore.

--Wasnt that cool?

--How did you knew about that? How come i never saw any of that while diving?

Jer giggled putting a hand on his shoulder--Sometimes things dont want to be seen

She offered her hand and he took it walking close to her with her head on his shoulder..

They arrived to the dormitories--And...wamai one thing..

--Yeah?

--Nor kali, or anyone can know about what you saw, got it?

He nodded, and softly stopped jerico from leaving, taking her hand--Thanks for showing me that...its nothing like I ever seen..

He took some steps forward, and so did she.

He leaned in and she did the same.

Jerico cups his cheeks and kisses him, he kissed back tilting his head, leaning a bit.

They press their foreheads togheter.

--Ill see you later then?

He nodds kissing her again--sweet dreams jerico

--Sweet dreams ngugi

When she got to her room she collapsed on the bed sighing like a fool in love.

Sunshine curled besides her,looking at her owner with a smug smile.

Jer rolled her eyes softly passing out minutes after.

#tw//violence #tw:violence #thalasophobia cw #cw thalassophobia #food ment #ngugi/wamai #💙me traes loco💙#sam/zero #🦉💙shot straight to my heart💙🦉

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fruitpunchninja101 · 5 years ago

Text

Slow Dancing In The Dark

Characters: Hanji Zoe x Levi Ackerman

Genre: Romance/Fluff

Rating: T

Here’s part 1 of my gift for LeviHan Eggscghange 2020 :) I hope my dear giftee enjoys this.Part 2 will be out in a couple of days!

You can also read this on AO3

@levihanweek

Working for Sina Industries has always been a life long dream for Hange.As a wide eyed child,she would always watch live broadcasts of their space launches and tell herself one day shes gonna be there.Standing in mission control smiling as she watched one of her creations get sent to a different planet.Armed with a degree & a determined heart,she applied as an engineer.You could imagine her disappointment when she was crammed into an 8x12 cubicle in the basement to design and develop circuitry which their boss greedily takes credit for all the damned time.She's pretty good at keeping a front that shes a pretty chill with all her bosses bullshit but she finally lost it when he started harassing a temp.Hange bravely spoke out and got into a heated argument with her boss.She got supended for a week after that.

It took almost six months before she was promoted to another 8x12 cubicle.Only this time,shes moving up on the infamous 17th floor.The place where they flung all the adept yet problematic employees.Its pretty much the same,shitty boss,intricate work but now on a higher pay grade and a lot more hearsay about her reputation.Its not so bad though,despite the lack of recognition and grueling work hours she met a handful of wonderful coworkers who shared the same pain.

Mike and Nanaba were sort of the required stable couple of the group.She met them a month after the big promotion when she caught them making out in the copy room.She's probably standing there for an entire minute awkwardly making fake cough noises to alert them of her presence.Enter Erwin Smith,he casually strode up by the couple and grabbed the box of printer ink Hange desperately needed.He's like freaking Captian America & Superman combined except he has a mind of a slytherin.Not that it was a bad thing.

And then there's Levi,The crabbiest member of their little group,Mr.I-look-very-angry-and-irritated-all-the-time-but-inside-lies-a-total-softy.He’s a clean freak who befittingly,is a sanitary engineer.Rumors say that Levi had tendencies with violence and had to be sent at 17th floor for precaution.There used to be a time when they didn't get along.She'd been very welcoming towards him but hes always been aloof and cold.She didn't mind it at first,but after a while it kinda got into her nerves.Til that christmas party back in 2017,where she had a few drinks and sort of confessed that she liked him and it really bummed her out that he didn't feel the same way.For the first time,she saw something other than disinterest and irritation on his face...she saw confusion.He asked her what shes on about,then reminded her that he just made her chocolates for valentines day when she won't shut up about craving something sweet.He doesn't do that kind of shit just for anyone and after that,hange was pretty sure they've become best friends.

Their friendship was forged in companionship in misery but as time passed they became her second family.

One of the things that Hange looked forward to is hanging out with them every Friday night at a dive bar a few blocks away from their office where they get shit faced and let off some steam from their work.Hange was preoccupied with the jukebox when Mike arrived with his arm slung over Levi dragging the smaller man into her space.”You'll never guess what happened.”The man announced and before she could answer the man screamed."Someone got asked for a date!"

"Ohoho!Whos the lucky girl?"Nanaba came out of nowhere carrying two mai tais and handed one to Hange before heading over at Mike's side.

"Petra Ral."Erwin chimed cooly while sipping a glass of scotch.His blond hair still laid perfectly even after a long tiring day at work.

"From PR?Holy shit!Good job!"Hange said slapping Levi’s shoulder hurting her hand in the process.The man didn’t even falter from where he stood,all he did was stare straight at her before scowling."It's not a big deal.”He said settling his gaze on his side.

Hange smiled.

He’s shy.Levi Ackerman is actually being shy about getting asked out by an adorable strawberry blonde colleague.Isn’t that precious?She’d never seen him like that before.Heaven knows how much she wanted to tease him about his situation but she can clearly tell by the way he clenched his jaw and the deep creases on the space between his brows that if she says anything,he'd run straight to the wall to escape,cartoon style.

Mike started telling the story and Levi sneakily started edging towards the exit.Before the questions came flooding in,Levi was already gone.

“I think I should follow him.“Hange announced.

"Try to convince him to go out with Ral!"Mike shouted which prompted Erwin to take his drink away from him."I think you had enough."

"Goodluck!"Nanaba raised her drink at her.Before helping Erwin keep Mike's drink away from him.

Hange found Levi brooding on the sidewalk while smoking.”Can I get a light?”She asked.

“Its cold.”He said,which also translates to she should go back inside or she’ll catch a cold.Levi’s nice like that,it took everything in her to hold back and not make a snide comment.He alwas hated it when he gets called out for being considerate.

“So Petra Ral huh?”She started.

“I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“We don’t have to,If you don’t want to.”Hange calmly took a box of cigarettes from her pocket and stood a bit closer to him.

“Good.”He said before tossing her his lighter.

Hange bit her lower lip to stifle a smile and Levi was already armed with his grumpy face.He's getting a little agitated.She let the silence drag on for a while as she started to giddily shift from where she stood.Unable to contain her curiosity.

“But its Petra Ral...The Petra Ral!Our company sweetheart.”She exploded.

“I barely know her.”

"Isn’t that what dating is for?!Besides,She probably just needs to get dicked down."Hange said casually."Go for it!Have a little fun.What’s there to lose?"

"Yeah well...I don't think I could."Levi started bouncing his leg.Is he nervous?Agitated?Both?It seemed like he's trying to say something.

“Levi,you know we wont judge you if you’re gay right?You don’t have to hide it from us.”

“Why would I be hiding that if I was?”

“Then what are you nervous for?"

“I’m not nervous...I.."Levi paused as if he's considering if he should tell her."I haven’t...I...”

“You're acting like you've never been out on a date."she said.

Levi visibly stiffened and averted her curious eyes.From where she sat,she could see how levi clenched his jaw and feel him hold his breath.No?It cant be...

"Oh.Its been a while for you huh?like 6 months?"She tried to take a wild stab but was met with silence.Hange sobered."You’ve never been on a date before?"she repeated a little louder than she meant to and not soon after she found Levi's hand over her mouth.

“You wanna scream that a little louder?“

“EVER?!”She peeled his hand off her face and asked.

“Tch.I dont need this.“Levi rolled his eyes and started leaving but hange caught his arm.

"Hey!I'm sorry.I didn't know.Its nothing to be embarrassed about.Its just,its a little uncommon you know.I'm really sorry.I didn't mean to be a dick.”

She assumed that its not because of the lack of people who wanna date with him.Believe it or not,this whole quiet mysterious guy persona is a total chick magnet.She even had several people from the office ask about him every once in a while.So what happened?Is it trauma?Is he aromantic?Holy shit!How could she be so insensitive?

“Stop looking at me like that.”He frowned.Snapping her out of her thoughts.

“Sorry,I was just thinking...”

“Don’t think of anything.Just mind your own business and let me be.”

“What kind of friend would I be if I let you be?”

“A good one.And stop drawing conclusions!I can practically see the thoughts up your head.I'm not anything I just...dont know how.”

“why are you so intent on giving up?!I thought you like her!”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Oh please Ackerman!How can you not?She's the perfect mix of adorable,kind,fiesty and beautiful...she’s perfect for you!”

"What do you want me to do?"he asked,in his how can I make you shut up tone.

"What if I help you?You could...I dont know...practice with me?I could help you with the whole dating thing!"Levi looked at her as if she grew another head.Honestly shes just happy he didn't look disgusted with her proposal.He gave her a once over before pinching the bridge of his nose.She knows this maneuver.Its the what-have-i-gotten-my-self-into or holy-shit-am-I-actually-considering-this move.“Are you sure about this?”He asked.

Hange made a gesture of crossing over her heart and raising her right hand up and levi scrunched his brows together.

“Quit downplaying this.I’m serious.”

“I wont offer it if my not 100% I’m serious. The last guy I went out with was a total disappointment and Petra deserves better than that.You know she helped me last Christmas...”

“Yeah,yeah she helped you change your tire."He supplied,refraning hange from tellong the story again.

“And in exchange I'm gonna help you be more fun and well rounded for your date!It's the circle of life!”Hange enthusiastically smiled.

“Alright.How do we start?”Levi asked.

"Ask Petra to reschedule your date for next week,Then we can take the whole week to practice."

The harsh sun bore down on Levi as if reminding him never to indulge Hange with her antics again.Aparrently,she found Petra's online journal and identified that she had two dream dates.One is a carnival date (which explains why he is standing in line for cotton candy out in the middle of the goddamn afternoon.) and the other was spending an evening at a local jazz bar in the city.

Levi doesn't know how she successfully lured him out.You see,he liked his comfort zone and for some unknown reason Hange always challenged him to take a step out of the little box he created around him.And although there are times when she proved that taking a risk was worth it,Levi never really appreciated getting stuck in very shitty situations like now.He doesn't know how she seemed fine with all these shitty conditions.Maybe because she's been busy talking about her new droid remodel.

"Hey Levi are you listening to me?"

"Yes."He said exasperated.

"What was I saying then?"She folded her arms and raised her brows,challenging him.

"You're planning to replace fiberglass with aerogel as insulator on your next shitty droid."He said which earned a bright smile from her.Tch!He rolled his eyes at that and stepped forward after the couple infront of them was served with an unreasonable amount of cotton candy.

"I'll get the giant sunshine surprise."Hange said and the vendor then started shaping the cotton candy into a big daisy.Hange looks absolutely delighted.

"That will be 50 dollars."The vendor said offering his open palm to him which prompted him to turn towards Hange."Oh!let me get my wallet!"Hange started going though her bag and for some reason he felt chills run through him.WheN he raised his head,he noticed that people around them started glaring at him.Oh great he forgot!He's in a fake date.He assumed people still think he's obligated to pay.Tch.So fucking primitive.Although he's never the guy who gave much fuck about what others think,he didnt want people to think Hanges being mistreated.Begrudgingly,he paid for the goddamn cotton candy.Hange took that opportunity to talk about how expenses should be handled during dates,she personally likes going dutch but immediately started going on about some studies that says women generally like it when the males carries out the expenses.

Hange's like a battery that never runs out of energy.She wanted to ride every possible attraction from the carnival!Beads of sweat are starting to form on her forehead but she never seem to notice,he started leading her to a park bench to rest for a bit.He appreciated how much she prepared.She was very keen on citing the psychology articles and some magazines she read to help him be better at dating.He doesn't even know why would anyone even exert that much effort for him.

She really is something.

He pulled out his handkerchief out of his pocket and started gently dabbing it on her forehead.

She smiled.

Hange didn't really need to teach him much.Despite the seemingly abrasive qualities Levi possess,the man is a very courteous guy.He said thank you,please and treated the park employees with respect.Shes pretty sure he wouldnt have much trouble impressing a girl."You never told me why you've never been out on a date."She started.

"I was never asked."Levi shrugged as if telling her its no big deal.Hange was shocked at his honesty but appreciated his straight answer.

"Based on my observations today I'd say all those girls that didnt ask you out missed out on a good time."

"Tch!Quit bullshitting me."

"It's true!You diligently listened to my stories, joined me riding all the and most importantly,you bought me an unreasonably overprized cotton candy."

Levi let out a soft chuckle at that and Hange immediately panicked.This is the first time she ever made him chuckle and goddamn it was glorious.It's like his features lit up and made him look years younger.She had to bit her lower lip to sort of calm her wild heartbeat.They stayed seated on the bench for a while when Levi surprisingly asked her to walk around some more.As they started to amble along the park,an idea popped on her head.

Her hands gently crept on his wrist and made way to cup his hand "what the..."He glared at their joined hands,but didn't find the need to pull away."You're sticky."He remarked

"Does sticky hands really matter if youre holding hands with your crush?"She asked.He kept his eyes on her and he saw blush creep up to her face."I-I mean not me...I meant Petra...which is basically me because im her placeholder at the moment and..."

"Hange."

"Hm?"

"Shut up."He slipped his Fingers against the gaps of hers and continued wandering around the park.

#levihan #levihaneggschange #levihaneggschange2020 #hange zoe #hanji zoe #levi ackerman #snk #aot #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #snk fanfiction #fanfiction #otp

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geminimoonbeamx · 6 years ago

Text

Oh, Baby: Chapter One

A/N: Okay so I’ve literally had this in my drafts for the last...six months or so? And I figured I’d tweak it and edit and post it since I’ve been so AWOL on this site lately, and so that I can give you guys some new content from me.

Word Count: 3k+

Warnings: Heavy cursing. This chapter is pretty PG, talks of mental illness, unexpected pregnancy and contemplating abortion- but she doesnt go through with it. Smut to come. AND LOTS OF FLUFF TOO, I promise lol

Summary: After a drunken night, Y/N finds herself having to face the biggest decision of her life; is she ready for motherhood? And a better question, is Bucky Barnes, her long time friend and womanizer extraordinaire, ready for fatherhood? They’ll just have to go along for the ride and find out together. A Bucky Barnes x Plus Size Reader Story

Chapter 1/6: The Baby Woe’s and Oh No’s

You knew it.

You’d known something was off, different, changed.

You sit on your toilet, your world spinning as you attempt to wrap your mind around what was going on. Everything seems sludge like, too slow and too fast and not real.

You’re definitely going into shock, you point out to yourself. The catatonic kind. You’ve been staring at the bright, sunny lemon print of the shower curtain, your eyes focused but not seeing. Your elbows rest on your knees and your hands cover the entirety of your lower face.

At least you’re not crying anymore.

Nope, your body had moved past that-Maybe, it felt like the tears could start rolling again at anytime.

Oh god, what are you going to do?

Why, why, why?

Why you? You’d been a good person- well a decent person at least… You recycled and tipped more than twenty percent. Didnt vote for Trump and ate your vegetables.

And your life was just seeming to even out. You’d somehow landed your dream job a couple months back- every Wednesday night your voice could be heard on WNEX. You we’re making enough money to finally be comfortable- doing what you loved. Gaining a wide audience and wiggling your way into the industry. Your mind was so career oriented, so focused on your end goal that you’d never even considered something like this.

Throwing a big fat wrench in the gears.

One night, it had only been one stupid, drunken night. Hadn't you racked up enough karma coins to cover your ass for one fucking night?

Are you there god? It’s me, Y/N, and I really fucked up this time.

Wanda comes back into the tiled room a few minutes, her dark features soft and a colorful mug in her hand.

“Are you okay?” She gauges, gently, as she reaches out to you.

You snort and shrug, but accept the steaming cup from her anyway. You look down at the swirling, murky drink.

Wishing for just one moment that you could drown yourself in it.

“Look, babe, I know you’re dealing with some major shock right now- but maybe you should go lay down. We’ll figure it out later-” Wanda’s voice is even and you appreciate her being so calm and sure during all of this but you just can't process the situation enough to accept it.

You can't go lay down.

“Why not?” Wanda questions and you didn't realize you’d said that out loud, you hadn't even felt your mouth form the words.

Your head really is swimming. Disconnected from your body a little bit. You force yourself to take a drink of the tea as she gives you a more pointed look.

“Because I have to- I don't know. I have to figure all this out” You protest. You can't hear your voice, how spiked with anxiousness it is.

“There’s not much to figure out” Wanda supplies, unhelpfully as she leans against the counter, arms folded over her chest and you give her a look that’s half between a glare and a gape.

“Um, what the fuck do you mean? There’s so much to figure out, I don't even know where to start” You give a short, sharp, slightly hysterical laugh gripping the mug hard enough to hurt with one hand while cupping your forehead with the other.

“Okay, first things first. And this is the big one: do you want this?”

Well, that whole ‘I'm done crying’ thought you’d had before was a lie. You feel the tears well up once more and overflow, spill down your already swollen cheeks. Your face is hot. Your tummy is full of rocks.

You’d always hated crying. It never made you feel released or freed or lighter like it did for other people. It made you feel icky and stupid. And afterwards it always felt like you’d gotten punched in the nose.

Yes, you did have a therapist to work out those issues with, thanks.

Your mind doesn't know what to do with that question.

You look at Wanda, searching her face as though she might have the answers but she just shook her head and reached out her hand to rub your shoulder. That’s all she could offer. Her support in whatever path you we’re about to embark on.

And then you look down, at the countertop. That was usually littered with stray tubes of mascara or straightening irons. Bobby pins and half lit candles. All the things that resided in the bathrooms of girls in their mid twenties.

In place of those was now four pregnancy tests. All of which read positive.

The first two had been those double lined ones. Two bold lines- both times. Then you’d ran down to the bodega at the end of the block and gotten two more. And those we’re more straight to the point. They literally read the word pregnant- in a font that you don't think you’d ever forget.

Did you want this? Did you want a baby?

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

“I dont know- I’m not ready. The timing is all wrong” You croak.

“Okay” Wanda coo’s “well there's alternatives then-” you squeeze your eyes closed at that thought “Either way we should make a doctors appointment to make sure you’re actually pregnant. I’ve read so many stories about how unreliable these things are”

She holds up one of the tests and rambles on about all of the online articles she’d come across. How some woman had taken a dozen of ‘em, gotten all positive results and then went in and had an empty uterus.

“For one, ew. I peed on that” You nod your head at the test in her hand and she rolls her eyes.

“Other side of it- and I held your hair when you got food poisoning from that shrimp shack. I’ve come into contact with worse body fluids of yours”

“For two- I’m pregnant. I know it. I’ve known it for weeks. I knew something was wrong and I just tried to...think it away, you know? Out of sight, out of mind? I sound insane” saying the words out loud makes you realize how...ludicrous those thoughts had been. But still. It was the truth.

She just nods though “You don't”

There’s a moment of silence. Stretching, as you stew in your reality.

“I’d be doing it alone” you whisper into the mug as you sip on it “I really dont think he’d want a baby”

“You would never be alone, you know that. You have so many people in your life that would support you with this” Wanda protests, sad that you’d even say that.

“You know what I mean” You push on. Because having a good group of friends and family wouldn't change the fact that you were possibly looking at the possibility of being a single mother.

If you decided to keep it, that is.

“Yeah I do- and I don't know if I agree with that. Bucky's a lot of things, an arrogant asshole at that top of that list, but he’s a good guy and I think he’d want to be involved. He doesn't give off deadbeat dad vibes”

All of that was true. Bucky is a good guy, at the core of him.

He was kind and decent and the two of you had been friends for years upon years. He was charming, magnetic and women loved him- you’d found it amusing, before you we’re the one in his bed after a drunken night a month ago.

He’d left your messages mostly on seen since then. You’d only sent a few, but still that had stung. Him icing you out the moment he’d gotten into your pants pissed you off, not only because it was rude but because it was expected.

You knew how Bucky was with women, it had been such an idiot move to sleep with him.

It made it all the more complicated that you ran in the same social circles- had all the same friends. Sam’s small promotion dinner a couple weeks ago had been extremely awkward for you, to say the least.

He’d earned himself the cold shoulder from you and no matter how many times he’d try to broach a conversation with you, crack a joke in your direction, or single you out in a group conversation you pretended he didn't exist.

“Damn, re-jec-ted” It had been so obvious that Clint had of course pointed it out, which was uncomfortable but expected because Clint had no filter like that.

Bucky had stopped trying after that- and started flirting back with the waitress that had been throwing herself at him throughout the night. You cut out early, claiming tiredness. And upset stomach. Whatever to get you out of there.

To say it was a shitty night was a bit of an understatement and you hadn't spoken one word to him since.

“I haven't talked to him since that night- and now I’m what, supposed to call him up and tell him I’m carrying his child because he doesn't properly know how to operate a condom?

“I don't know, yeah? It doesn't mean you two need to get married, but if you choose to keep this baby, that’s going to be a conversation you’re going to have to have” Wanda is so annoying sometimes. She was such a sharp thinking human- always grounded and level headed. She claimed it was from always having to be the “good twin” growing up.

Of course she was rationalizing this whole thing while you we’re floundering about it like a fish.

“I think I should make a doctors appointment” You just mutter. You’d rather focus your attention there. It was easier, cleaner for you. A goal you could actually accomplish.

And so that’s what you did.

//////

They were able to get you in at the end of the week, which in overpopulated New York City was a godsend. And still, it felt like far too long. Like the reality of it couldn't sink in until you talked to a medical professional so you we’re left in some kind of fucked up long until then.

You tried to keep your anxious mind busy, throwing yourself into work. Talking to people over the static airways of the radio about their lives; about the world and all of its workings was so much easier than talking to anyone about what was going on with you.

The only person who knew was Wanda and you’d canceled all of your other plans during the week, not able to face anyone. Not yet.

Lots of sleepless nights, staring at the ceiling. Thinking until your brain physically hurt.

And then you’d turned to you journal- maybe if you wrote everything down it would make sense. If you could see it all, inked out, you could make a decision.

Did you want this child?

Wanda had suggested making a pro’s and con’s list and while it sounded crazy and unhelpful, and you rolled your eyes at it ‘As though that will help’, you ended up doing it anyways.

You start with Cons, naturally. Always had been too damn negative.

Cons:

-I have no fucking idea how to be a mom

-Bucky???

-My job. My career. Who’s going to watch the baby while I work?

-How in the fuck am I going to financially support a baby.

-No room in the apartment/My room is fucking tiny and where will we put a baby

(Wanda said we can turn half of the living room into a playroom/makeshift nursery. How fucked up though? Not even a real nursery)

-No car? A baby on the subway? No thank you.

-Weird to explain to people even if Bucky wants to co-parent. All our friends??

-PAIN

-Pregnancy looks so painful. Birth looks scary. My poor vagine.

-Life is basically over

-The baby will not have a grandmother from your side...

You could keep going on, but you decide to stop there. You could go on, make the list pages and pages long but you decide against it.

Pros:

-I’ve always wanted to be a mom. Always dreamed of babies and motherhood, baby fever crashes over me in waves.

-Me and Bucky’s baby is going to be cute AF(and that just pure facts)

-I have a great support system- amazing friends and family who I know will help

-Bucky could want to be involved. He probably will...maybe?

-He has a big family, i think. The baby would have lots of family

-I don't want to have an abortion. All about pro-choice, but I just...don't know if I can.

That had made you bite the end of your pen.

Adoption?

Could you give a child that you went through nine months of pregnancy up for adoption? Knowing yourself- probably not. You cant even get rid of the moth hole ridden clothes at the back of your closet. Not comparing a baby to a jean jacket- fuck, see how unequipped you were for this?

-I’d be a good mom(I think)

-I could swing it financially. Maybe get a second job

-At least I have a good insurance plan now

-My life might have more of a purpose?

You hide the lists away in one of your many journals. Stick it in the wicker basket under your night stand- and revisit it too many times in those days between.

You make a lot of other lists in that time, too.

//////

One of them sits tucked in your purse as you make your way to the eighth floor- Arms folded across your chest and the inside of your bottom lip speared between your teeth as the elevator takes you up.

Wanda stands beside you, of course. Sipping on her iced americano. You’d tried to tell her that she didn't need to come, that you were perfectly okay with going on your own. You’d gotten about two words out before she shut you down-

“I already took the afternoon off, don't be ridiculous”

You both know you wouldn't admit it, stubborn as you we’re, but you’d let out a big sigh of relief. You really didn't want to do this alone.

The waiting room is standard for this building, looks similar to the one that you sit in when you see your GP- save for a sign hanging about the door that labels it the OB-GYN.

Fake plants and those standard waiting room chairs that had that weird diagonal print on them TV’s that we’re playing the local news and tables stacked with months dated magazines. There was no windows though and it made the back of your neck feel hot.

The receptionists is nice. Middle aged with mild with droning, mellow voice. She checks you in fast and efficiently and tells you that you’ve got about a 15 minute wait on your hands.

Annoying, you think even though you give her a big grin and a sweet ‘thank you’. You’d been right on time. Why in all offices of all kinds is there always a fucking wait?

Wanda has plopped down on a chair in the corner and is fingering through an issue of LIFE, her long legs crossed at the knee. you sit next to her. The office air conditioner is blasting, it had been a muggy May in the city, but you feel overheated. You let the chunky cardigan you’d donned slip down one shoulder, exposing your skin to the chilly air.

You should feel the cold but you’re over heated. Nervous as hell. Why doesnt anyone else in this office seem nervous?

You tend to people watch when you get overly anxious like you are now. Tend to take in every little detail of every little thing around you.

There’s a black couple- the woman doesn't look pregnant but they’re holding hands tightly and they keep whispering to each other. He smiles and nudges her shoulder with his. Then there’s a Latina woman who looks just about ready to pop and is reading one of the kids book to a little boy with her eyes. A white lady, with twin carriers rocks them gently as she chats with a woman who looked to be related to her, maybe. Older and graying.

You feel like a creep but you can't stop looking at them all. Staring at each of the people who are at different stages of the same life-path you found yourself on.

Wanda clicks her tongue as her dark eyes focus on the magazine. Muttering, her accent thick, about how the lenses they used for the shoot on the page was all wrong.

Her photographers eye was snobby and elitist.

“Y/N?” The nurse calls you back, not butchering your name which is nice and look over at your best friend.

“Are you sure you don't want me to come back with you?” Wanda whispers, big gingerbread eyes searching yours and you shake your head quickly.

You had to do this, on your own. What if...what if you ended up having to do this whole thing alone? You had to be grown, had to face this solo. That’s just how you felt, even if it might not be true.

“It’s just another appointment- I can do it on my own. I’ll live” there's a reasoning lilt in your voice that she doesn't quite buy but she nods all the same. Tells you that she’ll be waiting right there for you as you muster up all your courage and train your face into a smile, following the nurse into the back offices, the door mechanically closing behind the two of you.

The OB’s office is...warmer then you’d thought it would be. Her desk has frames of all types and her walls are plastered with colorful posters, making the alabaster of the wallpaper less daunting. There was even a window in here.

You’re perched up on the exam table/ chair thingy, staring out at the tall buildings across the street, at the people moving fast below on the sidewalks. You wonder what all of them are doing? How many of the have kids?...

When there’s a soft knock at the door your attention snaps back to the present.

Doctor Helen Cho is a petite Asian woman. She has glossy dark hair that's tied up in a clip high on the back of her head, and her voice is friendly and her expression open as introduces herself to you and reaches out to shake your hand.

“I’m Y/N, it’s nice to meet you, too” You sound so much surer and more confident then you feel. It had always been your party trick- meeting new people and being able to talk to them. Leaving trails of barley there acquaintances in your wake.

“So it says here that you think you’re pregnant, yes?” She gets right to it, and your appreciative for it.

“Yeah, I know I am. I took four tests and they all came out positive and I...I feel really off” you try to explain it, poorly but she seems to understand.

“When you say off, do you mean like bad feeling off or?” She probes as she sits at her desk, swivels her chair to face you. Her chocolate almond eyes weren't piercing or clinical, just waiting.

“Not really bad? But I’ve just been so tired lately and I’ve had like, zero appetite. And my breasts have been so sensitive that it hurts to put on a bra” as you tell here these things you could slap your head for not assuming you were pregnant before you’d taken the tests.

Dr. Cho hums and nods as she looks over her tablet “Well from the look of these results from those blood and urine tests your nurse went ahead and gave you when you came in, I can tell you that you are definitely about nine weeks pregnant- so those symptoms are right on with where you are”

You inhale and exhale, bigly. It’s real. It’s been real, was a notion, a happening but now...it’s so freaking real.

And there's a real life changing decision to be made-

That you’d already made before you’d even walked into this office but now seemed even clearer. Crystal, in that moment of clarity.

“I want to keep it” Your confident as you say it. Your voice cracks with some kind of emotion you couldn't even begin to explain, but you’re confident. You’re sure.

Dr. Cho grins at you, and stands, congratulating you then, after she’s sure you even want a congratulations. You like her, think you might.

It’s hard to focus on her voice though because all your mind can think of is the next big obstacle, the next big step in all of this.

How were you going to tell Bucky?

Okay guys? I posted? Crazy right? lol give me some feedback! Comment and tell me what you thought of this. I absolutely love interacting with you guys, but I’m sure ya’ll know that.

Also- the taglist for this story is still OPEN, so if you’d like to be tagged in future chapters just ask!

@peacefulwriter88 @jaamesbbarnes @jalapenobarnes @brieannakeogh @gifsbysimplysonia @lostinthoughtsandfeelings @lostinspace33 @4theluvofall @plumfondler @tatathekissypotato @siren-kitten-his @skishenanigans @geekyweed @spidey-babe-parker @lastfallenstar @rachelle-on-the-run @prettybubblesintheair @dani-si

#Bucky Barnes #thick bucky #bucky barnes x plus size reader #bucky barnes x reader #pregnant!reader #pregnant reader #Modern AU #marvel #wanda maximoff #plus size reader #Steve Rogers #clint barton #avengers au #fluff #and angst #fluffy angst #unexpected pregnancy #Carol Danvers #MCU

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01010010-posts · 6 years ago

Text

— my white sighs quietly melted with the stars above.

it all started with a simple ‘you’re a slowpoke??’ text and it should have ended there, really, but you got a reply immediately after. ‘I’m sorry, I think you have the wrong person’. absolutely no, you scoffed, as if you were going to be tricked again ‘bitch don’t play the wrong number card because you didn’t catch the bus’. he was amused by your obstinacy and lightly worried about the supposed receiver, who, it appeared, was very clumsy; ‘please, control the number you texted, I’m Connor.’ boy he sure was. not your pal, not someone else in your contact list, just.... Connor. ‘god, i apologize!! thank you for telling me! ps. didn’t mean to call you a bitch, connor’ and it should have ended there, really, but you got a reply. connor: shouldn’t you be in bed by now? you: but,,,, i wanted to chat with u a little more connor: as an android sleep is not required but you, as a human, need to rest. we can always continue talking tomorrow. you: :( what if you have a long case tomorrow?? mh?? what if?? what you’re gonna say in your defense then?? connor: don’t worry :) I’ll find time for you. you: ok you win goodnight ☆ connor: sweet dreams. goodnight, [name]. it’s been three months since you’ve first spoken with him. intimacy there but low, how obvious it is that the two of you are proceeding with caution. yet you can’t help but write to him every day, staying up late while waiting for an answer of his, often checking your mobile and getting unsettled when there’s no signal. it’s strange, your colleagues whisper, how can you be so attached to someone if you’ve never even seen him? of course, you know it. you don’t wish for a pretty face, you only wish for a pretty personality. with a heavy sigh and a loud poof you pull the white duvet up to your head, finding comfort by completely hiding inside the warm embrace. you tightly hug a pillow, pretending that it’s him, returning your affection and cuddling, maybe caressing you too inasmuch, as he said, ‘androids don’t need to sleep’. but is it bad to fantasise? you: I’m deeply sorry.... sweetheart: >:( you: [name], it’s the seventh text-made emoji you’ve sent me.... they expressed some sort of anger so I’d prefer if we discussed about whatever is bothering you. sweetheart: >:(( you: I’m begging you.... sweetheart: you’re grounded and your punishment is enduring the wrath of weird angery text-based emoji :< you: what did I do to deserve this? :’( sweetheart: i sent you a heart & you didn’t send it back to me you: gosh! how clumsy of me! could you ever forgive this fool? sweetheart: mhhh it depends. what are you willing to do to be pardoned? you: I’ll send you whatever heart I possess! 💕💖💗💖 sweetheart: THIS IS UNFAIR!!! he’s silently giggling all by himself, in the cold room lit by his blue led circling at a steady rhythm– no, it’s not the temperature, rather it’s the atmosphere; ‘cold’. he’s still grappling with emotions and developing tastes is– well, to put it simply, complicated. he’s heartened with the fact that you once said, at the sight of a photo of his bed and the corner within, that being minimalistic is a style too. though, possibly, his true self is one of a clutterer of knick-knacks. of course, he’d like you to help him pick what ornaments would suit him the best. you: wtf i dont believe it connor♡ : but it does! you: prove it MIKU HATSUNE connor♡ : listen here human it’s not my fault you haven’t got the chance to witness an android external fluid deactivating you: !!!!! are you bragging?? connor♡ : ahahaha I’m joking it’s sending a video right now you watch ecstatically as soon as the app downloads the file, your chest throbbing with pleasurable anxiety. how can it be? he’s kind, precious AND fucking handsome, skin or no skin. you bet bad things will happen to you today to balance this sheer luck. think it thoroughly, it’s actually the first time you see his face. you: u’r cute also how does your hair work man connor♡ : thank you :) it’s connected to my head so.... you: i get it cybernetic magic your secrets are safe with me connor♡ : ahahaha and I was concerning myself about disgusting you you: WHAT fuck no you’re done that way, ok, it’s cool ok? kept it in mind are you allowed to insert ♡ near his name and not tell him? you: I’m waiting!! :/ sweetheart: so needy you: come on, [name]! sweetheart: tru tho you: >audio file cooome ooooonn sweetheart: !!! im ready pick up idiot the monitor lits and here you are, gorgeous. he’s certain that his heart melted on the spot. such is the sensation you give him every time you send him a photo, his thirium pump skipping a beat and making him inevitably somewhat gasping for air, mouth barely closed. he’s not accustomed to all the new features deviancy brought but in this he’s confident, he’s head over heels in love with you. you: what?? you’ve already seen the movie?? love♡ : yeah! I went with Hank! it was very nice, you should see it too you: WELL id kill to (please don’t arrest me detective) but nobody wants,,,, love♡ : why is that? (I won’t arrest you if you behave) you: something along the lines of not their genre or some shit uff (seems sketchy) love♡ : what about going alone? (it isn’t!!) you: it would be too sad :’( love♡ : I’m sorry to hear that, if I could be there I’d accompany you and wouldn’t mind seeing it a second time. you: yes i know.... what is it? six months? more? you hardly remember, having so many messages in here, it would be too difficult to keep track, though you’re positive, that if you asked him he’d tell you in an instant, since he’s so attentive with that little brain-computer of his. you close your lids, tapping your fingers on the desk, it’s wearing, you must admit. you like him, a lot at this point, but being so far and out of reach.... what can come out of this? friends don’t support you either, ignoring this blatant crush, trying to make you hook-up with people met at a bar, getting annoyed at you constantly texting, preaching that a long distance relationship is not worth your time and your effort, and it’s not even a relationship, isn’t it? you’re not on that level. you’re just weirdos keeping themselves company. bummed out a bit, you decide that maybe avoiding him for a couple of days might be a proper solution. will he feel your absence? will he miss you? you: is everything all right? sweetheart: yes. you: are you sure? sweetheart: yep im,,,, swamped with work, the drill you: that I understand but perhaps I did something wrong? sweetheart: ?? you: you’ve been acting kinda cold lately, and if I’m the cause of that I’m sorry. being a deviant is good sometimes, and sometimes is not. it was great until a while ago so why now.... now....? he feels so lost. it’s understandable to have a job and a life outside this bond but– but is it really? is it okay for you to be without him? you’d manage fine. mhh no– the real question is: is it okay for him to be without you? can he be without sending you a text at least once a day? can he be without hearing your voice at least once a week? can he be without your usual video calls at least twice a month? can he be without seeing you, over a screen, cooking your dinner and singing? can he be? can he exist without you? he’s.... starting to doubt that. sweetheart: no i’m i’m the one whos sorry, okay? we can call tomorrow you: I don’t want to press you into anything you don’t want to sweetheart: you’re not! i’ll make up for not having been so present! you sigh, suffocating yourself on the pillow, how can you be this dense? this stupid? this utter moronic?? unequivocally he was going to worry. you made him worry. fuck. you’re going to trust your guts, no dumb jokes, it’s obvious that you both care about the other and can’t stay apart for too long. you: i know it’s 3AM and you told me to not be awake but i cant i cant okay? im thinking of you and me and you and it began because im a mess so it shouldnt be a surprise i havent gotten better this past year has been.... the best. yeah i fucked up and tried to be distant, to see if sth would change but it didnt i love waking up and finding a text from you, i love the sound of your voice trying to lull me goodnight when im being a spoiled child, i love how you’re so gentle & how you always forgive me and mostly i love you not as a friend, definitely as more, definitely like a lover and i know that you’re so caring that you’ll probably still want to talk with me even if the affection’s not mutual you lock your phone’s screen and place it on the nightstand. the orange light from the streets seeping through the curtains and soaking your covers, and now that your eyes are free to roam, it’s easier to notice the soft feathers’ filling making tiny shadows on your face. poor poor geese. your fingertips slightly touch the stitches, your heartbeat pacing furiously from the strong emotions, both trepidation and fear running your veins. what if he doesn’t feel the same? what if he’s been polite this whole time and you overstepped his boundaries? what if? love♡ is typing.... ping! love♡ : I love you too, honey. but please, don’t scare me again, I think I lost four biocomponents when you suddenly stopped replying to me. also you should sleep. you: im pouring my heart out ugly crying and!!!! you’re too casual nooo it’s no big deal baby we just fucking love each other it’s totally ok incoming call from love ♡ “hey....” his tone slow and almost drowsy “i thought it was clear enough.” words rolling off his tongue, the same that he’d tenderly run across you, kissing, tasting, worshipping your body “i hate you.” you sniffle and there’s a chuckle on the different end “i love you.” you smile, wiping off the tears wetting your cheeks with the back of your right hand “i love you too.”

#3 ldr and 7 yrs in total have prepared me for this fic #i love how everyone in the fandom thinks of miku as connor & viceversa #DBH #connor x reader #RK800 x reader #dbh RK800 #RK800 #connor #dbh connor #detroit become human #dbh imagine #writing #fic #fanfic #fanfiction #longdistancerelationship #ldr #android #self-insert

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volleydorkscentral · 5 years ago

Note

ANSWER ALL OF THE QUESTIONS IN THE UNUSUAL ASK GAME, YOU COWARD.

First of all:

Second, questions under the cut:

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? - Spotify! all the way. i hoarse my bf’s account so he can never listen but i don’t care it’s mine now it’s full of my music and my playlists and whenever i’m listening to it and it suddenly changes cause he tries to use it on his phone I call him, “are you using spotify?” “oh. i mean i can listen to something else?” “cool, thanks!” and i get my music back. :D

is your room messy or clean? - it’s somewhere in between. my actual ROOM (bed room, i assume) is pretty clean, except i never make the bed. but the house is .. a work in progress. it’s not dirty but it’s cluttered so my bf and I are having to work together to clear that and build shelves and stuff for more storage space.

what color are your eyes? - dark brown! (with little green flecks when I cry)

do you like your name? why? - Not really? i don’t hate it. My mom wanted to name me Savannah but they had her sign the certificate while she was still drugged from her c-section so it ended up as Crystal?? Idk. She named her dolls Crystal when she was a kid.

what is your relationship status? - dating for almost six years.

how many times a week do you shower? uhhh idk. I don’t shower every day (unless i get gross). AT LEAST four times… but I don’t wash my hair every time cause that’s bad for my hair. I SHOWER WHEN I AM DIRTY.

favorite tv show? does Haikyuu!! count? that’s probably a given. HM. Well, we don’t have cable so I don’t watch a lot of NEW shows? …. OH. Duh. Fuckin me I’m a dumbass. Bob’s Burgers. I literally have it on ALL THE TIME. I don’t like silence so it’s ALWAYS on in the background if i’m not listening to music. I’ve seen every episode a zillion times. I can usually pinpoint every scene and the major lines/jokes.

shoe size? most brands it’s 5 1/2

how tall are you? SHORTER THAN NISHINOYA BUT TALLER THAN YACHI. I’m like… 5ft-5’1 depending on how much my back hurts. (i used that earlier and someone said it was funny and i’m trash so i’ll repeat it here!)

sandals or sneakers? i wear Bobs LOL. (knock off toms) and i’ve got one pair of sneakers and sometimes I wear my ballet flats around even though my bf says they look dumb fuck u they’re comfy.

do you go to the gym? No. I used to, but where I live now it’d be like a 45 min drive. I don’t really LIKE gyms though? working out is boring to me. No matter how hard I try. I’d love to start dancing again for real.

describe your dream date - April 25th because it’s not too cold and not too hot. Okay but jk that’s a lie where I live it’s balls hot in april. Idk. I’d like to go hiking when it’s not very hot? Take my dog, let her run around. Take a picnic. Sit in a grassy field and talk about dumb shit cause we know each other’s dreams and hopes by now.

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? UHM. fuck like…. $27? i know there’s a twenty and a handful of ones. And a handful of change.

what color socks are you wearing? - NONE. MY FEET ARE COLD. FOREVER COLD.

how many pillows do you sleep with? - pft like 6.

do you have a job? what do you do? - No; I quit after being over worked, under appreciated, cheated out of my paychecks a few times, and no job still due to lingering health issues.

how many friends do you have? answered this already!

whats the worst thing you have ever done? - UHM. Idk i haven’t murdered anyone. I don’t like this question cause if i really try to answer it i’ll spiral into a frustrated, furious depression and self-hatred so… NOPE.

whats your favorite candle scent? i’ve got this candle i got from etsy that’s like… Scottish Highlands? It’s grassy and kinda MAGICY.

3 favorite boy names - i don’t really have favorite names?

3 favorite girl names - answered already

favorite actor? god idk. i’m so bad with names and celebrities. uhm. I really like don’t have a favorite. I LIKE a bunch. Benedict Cumberbatch; Freddie Highmore… uhm. uh. Hugh Laurie?

favorite actress? IDK OKAY?? I LIKE a bunch but i don’t favorite?? I really like Gwendoline Christie. Uhm. Anne Hathaway makes me laugh. MAGGIE SMITH. how could i forget!??!

who is your celebrity crush? I LEGIT don’t have one.

favorite movie? CLUE takes the top spot most days.

do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? I used to read a lot more. The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt

money or brains? personality, bitch.

do you have a nickname? what is it? not *really* but people online used to call me Chrys. My bf calls me ‘sweetie’ sometimes but he also calls the dog that so… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

how many times have you been to the hospital? - uhm. like the er? Once when I broke my arm. Doc in the box? Not since 2017.

top 10 favorite songs - PFT. Uhm. Jesus just let me die a little. Excluding all Disney; Not in any order:

No One - Biometrix

Danser - Lisandro Cuxi

A Single Moment of Sincerity (E) - Asking Alexandria (the band I was listening to when I designed my rockstar MC that I love so much)

The Annabel Trilogy (a series of 3 albums) - Alesana. Can’t pick a single song because they’re all a part of a huge story. Listen to them.

Chucky vs. The Giant Tortoise - Dance Gavin Dance

Anticoagulant - Sianvar

Ohioisonfire - Of Mice & Men

Coincidance - Handsome Dancer (Watch the Video for the love of god. THANKS ASH FOR THIS GEM)

Devil’s Backbone - The Civil Wars

Still Here - Digital Daggers (i’ve been listening it to a lot for inspiration for a new AU so… yup. That’s gonna be fun and painful)

do you take any medications daily? - yup

what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) - i got dry ass skin it sucks

what is your biggest fear? - uhm… physical fear? idk. Heights is a big one that I developed? I used to not care but a while ago I was walking on a bridge and I just… looked over and got FUCKING DIZZZY with nausea and fear that I was gonna fall and almost fainted.

how many kids do you want? - HONESTLY… one or two.

whats your go to hair style? - tried to brush but gave up so just threw it in a claw clip

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) - moderate? one story, four bedrooms. big ass yard though for the dog

who is your role model? - I don’t really have one.

what was the last compliment you received? - answered already

what was the last text you sent? - actual TEXT message? ‘as long as there’s someone with her overnight she’ll be okay during the day cause of the dog door and stuff. just play with her before you go to work and maybe hide some treats around the house for her to hunt for’ - texting my friend that’s gonna house sit while we go on a family vacation soon.

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? - UH idk the age? i know I saw my mom writing scavenger cards though. My fam has never had a lot of money so to make Christmas more interesting my mom/grandparents (we lived with them till I was in 3rd grade) would make these elaborate scavenger hunts for me and my cousins to do to find our presents around the house or out in the barn or, on one memorable occasion, at the bottom of our pool! Good memories.

what is your dream car? - one that RUNS and has badass AC and speakers

opinion on smoking? - hate it. please don’t do it around me. my bf’s family alllllll smoke all the time and i get so sick when i have to go on vacation with them and be around it for a long time.

do you go to college? - i DID. I went to Culinary school and majored in Baking & Pastry

what is your dream job? - Author or Dog Trainer

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? - rural as all hell. give me trees, cows, and horses.

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? Not usually? but usually the people i’m with do.

do you have freckles? Not on my face (except one) but i’ve got more like… on my arms and just randomly all over but i dont think ‘freckles’ would be what anyone thinks of when they think of me

do you smile for pictures? - only if i’m forced to be in them

how many pictures do you have on your phone? - HAHAHAHAHAHA. Well. Before I got my new phone it was over 10k. Now though its only about 2k.

have you ever peed in the woods? - Only when I was camping.

do you still watch cartoons? - ALL THE GODDAMN TIME

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? - neither. but i HATE WENDYS and can tolerate McD’s fries and they’ve got ballin’ sweet tea so I guess McD.

Favorite dipping sauce? this honey dijon creamy thing at my favorite French restaurant but idk what is is.

what do you wear to bed? - t-shirt

have you ever won a spelling bee? - YUP. 2nd grade.

what are your hobbies? - writing, crocheting, photography, reading, uh… i forget what else

can you draw? when i was doing it all the time i did ok? but i’m WAY TOO IMPATIENT now a days to do it.

do you play an instrument? - no but i wish i did :(

what was the last concert you saw? - i’ve never been to a concert. crowds are icky

tea or coffee? - tea!

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? - already answered this

do you want to get married? - Yes pls

what is your crush’s first and last initial? - (bf, but I suppose i still have a crush on him? is love considered a crush?) J. Y.

are you going to change your last name when you get married? god yes. my current last name is my shitbag of a sperm doner and i hate it. my mom kept it after they divorced only cause she thought her maiden name would be too hard for me to spell but i would give anything to have that name instead

what color looks best on you? - idk. i prefer black but i’ve been told green and certain shades of pink/yellow.

do you miss anyone right now? - not until i thought about it, thanks

do you sleep with your door open or closed? open so my pupper can go in and out

do you believe in ghosts? not until i’m faced with darkness and creepy things

what is your biggest pet peeve? people chewing their food loud. people not picking up after themselves. people interrupting me (but not in the excited, OMG way. that we can work though) but in the ‘i don’t care what you’re saying i’m going to talk now’ way

last person you called` - my bf to discuss plans for his brother’s bday

favorite ice cream flavor? cookies n’ cream!

regular oreos or golden oreos? DOUBLE STUFF OF EITHER

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? FUCK SPRINKLES

what shirt are you wearing? a shirt that has my dog’s face on it :D

what is your phone background? - the art that Ash drew of Bokuto from my fic Just a Taste!!

are you outgoing or shy? - i hate talking to strangers but with my friends i’m pretty fucking loud and chatty

do you like it when people play with your hair? only people i know

do you like your neighbors? nope. he’s an asshole who neglected his dog and i wanna skin him alive

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? i do my best to remember to do it at night but i always do it when i shower

have you ever been high? yup.

have you ever been drunk? yup

last thing you ate? BIRTHDAY CAKE

favorite lyrics right now - idk? i guess the first lyrics that came to mind, even though they’re not my favorite, just ones that i like and were stuck in my head for a while: “All of the handsome fiction / will melt away / and when the flame burns brighter / Evaporate” Evaporate - Dance Gavin Dance

summer or winter? WINTER FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. IT’S SO FUCKING HOT IN SUMMER I DIE EVERY DAY

day or night? both have their merits

dark, milk, or white chocolate? - all chocolate but i prefer white to just EAT.

favorite month? uhm. uhh. November maybe? for NaNoWriMo.

what is your zodiac sign - pftt.. i think i used to be a Gemini? i don’t believe in all that stuff

who was the last person you cried in front of? - ….. my dog? but probably my mom and Grandmother when my GM basically said my bf didn’t love me and was a shit human being and i was a shit granddaughter for loving him. i was both upset and furious and i walked away from them. (my mom called and apologized, but i haven’t spoken to my GM since)

THERE ASH ARE YOU GODDAMN HAPPY. that took so long LOL (I hope the formatting came through I had to redo it on this tumblr page UGH)

#ask game

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leluh · 6 years ago

Note

do all the unusual asks!!

o h mhy god…. thank you but i had to bust out my laptop bc no way in hell am i gonna type that all out formatted nicely on my phone….

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?

Spotify

is your room messy or clean?

Oh god it’s a fucking disaster

what color are your eyes?

i ask myself the same question often

do you like your name? why?

yeah! bc it has a lot of nickname options

what is your relationship status?

single

describe your personality in 3 words or less

emotional

gay

loud

what color hair do you have?

blue, red-purple, and an inbetween purple color in the middle.

what kind of car do you drive? color?

bold of you to assume i have a license or can afford a car

where do you shop?

bold of you to assume i have money to shop with

how would you describe your style?

Bad

favorite social media account

I use this one the most but i like the stickers on snapchat

what size bed do you have?

twin i think

any siblings?

Oh boy. oh howdy. im the oldest of five. i sure fucking do have siblings.

if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?

on top of a really big tree bc it’d be cool babey!

favorite snapchat filter?

none of them

favorite makeup brand(s)

i dont pay enough attention to give a shit. i do have & occasionally wear makeup, tho

how many times a week do you shower?

every other day

favorite tv show?

um! FMA:B

shoe size?

women’s 9, men’s 6 i think

how tall are you?

5′8″

sandals or sneakers?

sneakers

do you go to the gym?

haha no

describe your dream date

anything, as long as im spending quality time with the person/people

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?

i have $5 in my jacket pocket I should put in my wallet, thanks for reminding me

what color socks are you wearing?

blue… orange….. white….

how many pillows do you sleep with?

3 rn. two for my head and one big one for my arms

do you have a job? what do you do?

ive never had a job

how many friends do you have?

a lot!!!! and i love them all and i hope they know this

whats the worst thing you have ever done?

don’t worry about it

whats your favorite candle scent?

vanilla….. also anything citrus

3 favorite boy names

3 favorite girl names

names dont have a gender also i dont have an opinion

favorite actor?

favorite actress?

no opinion

who is your celebrity crush?

they arent celebrities but i have a tiny “celeb crush” on everyone at Polygon

favorite movie?

anything studio ghibli does. Tales from Earthsea was good as fuck and underrated!

do you read a lot? whats your favorite book?

I dont read a lot but my favorite book is The Red Tent

money or brains?

paypal.me/leluh

do you have a nickname? what is it?

my baby siblings used to pronounce my family nickname “Lexi” as “Leluh” (hence the url) but i go by Lex

how many times have you been to the hospital?

i had to get rushed to the ER in an ambulance once bc I had a seizure in church. the stretchers are really comfortable, the glucose packet the paramedic gave me didn’t taste nearly as bad as he made it out to be, and IVs are the fucking worst

top 10 favorite songs

here’s my spotify playlist for this month

do you take any medications daily?

i’m supposed to take like, six vitamin pills for my POTs headaches but i uh. dont.

what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)

annoying

what is your biggest fear?

being replaced, easily forgettable, not meaning anything to anyone

how many kids do you want?

none right now but i like kids and i know how to handle a lot at once so it really depends on how my life goes in the future.

whats your go to hair style?

sideways

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc)

big enough for a family of eight

who is your role model?

who i want to be in the future

what was the last compliment you received?

some guy at the grocery store last night said he liked my hair

what was the last text you sent?

sent a photo to my mom

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?

I don’t remember ever actually believing in santa

what is your dream car?

one that works

opinion on smoking?

mmmmmmmmmgross

do you go to college?

on the 27th

what is your dream job?

anything i enjoy that allows me a happy life. i’d love to work with plants, microbiology, astrobiology, or like…. bees

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?

I don’t know! im pretty neutral

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?

oh hell yeah

do you have freckles?

i have a permanent patch of freckles on the side of my left shoulder and occasionally i get a few freckles on my face in the summer

do you smile for pictures?

depends on the context

how many pictures do you have on your phone?

a lot

have you ever peed in the woods?

yeah, my family used to go camping a lot when i was little

do you still watch cartoons?

yeah

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?

Wendy’s

Favorite dipping sauce?

honey mustard and ranch is a close second

what do you wear to bed?

T-shirt

have you ever won a spelling bee?

never been in one

what are your hobbies?

i can throw a flag pretty cool

can you draw?

do you play an instrument?

absolutely not, but it’s very cool and i have major respect for musicians

what was the last concert you saw?

I saw Maggie Rogers in concert a while back

tea or coffee?

tea! coffee is nasty

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?

neither

do you want to get married?

Depends, but im not against it at all

what is your crush’s first and last initial?

ahahahahahahaha um. i plead the fifth. also there’s two of them anyway

are you going to change your last name when you get married?

depends! also not against it

what color looks best on you?

dunno, but i wear a lot of denim and bright red

do you miss anyone right now?

hell yeah babey dont we all

do you sleep with your door open or closed?

closed dear god i have two cats and four siblings under the age of 10

do you believe in ghosts?

eh. not really. would looove to be proved wrong though

what is your biggest pet peeve?

problems that could have very easily been avoided with communication

last person you called?

my voicemail lmao

favorite ice cream flavor?

Vanilla………….

regular oreos or golden oreos?

regular!

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?

rainbow cause im gay but otherwise i dont rlly like sprinkles

what shirt are you wearing?

pajama t-shirt. it’s from ACYC

what is your phone background?

my lockscreen is coke zero and my homescreen is a mother mother quote

are you outgoing or shy?

I try to be sorta outgoing but dear god do i get anxious easily

do you like it when people play with your hair?

not really…. leave it be :/

do you like your neighbors?

I don’t know them at all

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?

whenever i feel like it

have you ever been high?

nope

have you ever been drunk?

nah

last thing you ate?

some knockoff Doritos

favorite lyrics right now

all of Infinitesimal by Mother Mother

summer or winter?

I hate being too hot but i do love alaska summers

day or night?

night…. love that second wind and sudden impulsive urges

dark, milk, or white chocolate?

white chocolate. i have a strong sweet tooth

favorite month?

no opinion

what is your zodiac sign

leluh.tumblr.com/zodiac

who was the last person you cried in front of?

Everyone in Drama during senior night lmao. last time i cried alone however??? yesterday afternoon sjkdfhaksjfh

#long post //#stimmystimmykokobop #ask

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fatrainbowmermaidunicorn · 6 years ago

Text

Stay ( Jungkook x You ONESHOT)

Thankyou for this request anon! Sorry it took forever to get it done, and sorry its long (10k). But I hope you enjoy it <3 And requests are still open eventhough Im a bit slow these days. Sorry about that!

A/N: So I am currently writing a lot of stories based on cheating and it got me wondering, at what level should someone who cheats be forgiven? And at what level they shouldnt be? What are your thoughts on this? Should you forgive your partner who is cheating on you? Does the reason that leads them to cheat matter? Share with me your thoughts!

MASTERLIST

"I guess all those rumors were true," was all Y/N could managed to say while her eyes locked on Jungkook's brown ones. The eyes that used to look at her with love and adoration, now is filled with sympathy, and maybe, just maybe, a little guilt.

Rumors regarding Jungkook and another uprising girl group member has been going around for months, and being the doting girlfriend that she is, Y/N decides to trust Jungkook when he told her those were all rumors, a normal occurance for an idol like him, whenever she asks him about it. They have been together for almost six years, trusting him is just something she is so used to, and that's exactly what she did, without even a doubt in her mind.

But now...

Y/N went over to his dressing room during one of his music show although its not something that she usually do since no one other than the members and only some of the makeup artists and stylist knew about her existance as Jungkook's girlfriend. Its been six years but Jungkook still insisted to keep their relationship a secret, saying its for the sake of his career and his fans, but now she finally know the real reason why.

Jungkook left his wallet and phone that day, and after calling Jimin to asks their whereabouts, he told her that Jungkook always goes early to the venue whenever they have a show, and she should go straight there to see him. Went there she did, only to find her beloved boyfriend being straddled by the same rumored girl idol, skirt hitched up to her waist, her clothing scattered all over the floor, leaving her topless and panting on an equally shirtless Jungkook whose mouth is busy kissing her bare chest.

What's worse than seeing this is the fact that Jungkook calmly picks up her blouse that is on the floor to help her cover up, while she still stays on his lap, not even a slight remorse or guilt can be seen on his face.

"Hey babe, can you leave us alone for a while?" He turned to the girl who smile at him as she puts on her bloise and nodded. She leaned in to give him a peck on the lips, making Y/N closes her eyes as she feels her heart break into tinier pieces. The girl smirked at her as she passes by.

Jungkook sighed as he bends to pick up his own shirt and start buttoning up.

"I'm sorry you have to find out this way. Its not my intention,"

Y/N is speechless. How can the man who she had loved for the whole six years, and who she thought loves her back, be this cold and emotionless.

"I wanted to tell you soon. I just couldnt find the right time for it. But now you know," he stood up and look straight into her teary eyes. Y/N has lost all strength to yelled at him, or hit him or to just do anything. Jungkook doesnt seem to regret any of it, so whats the point for her to try scream and shout over it?

But still, there's something her broken heart needs to know.

"W-why? What did I do to make you stop loving me?"

Jungkook sighed and ran his hand through his hair before his eyes flickered back to her.

"Its nothing really. I just fall out of love," he said simply. Y/N's shoulders shakes as she tries her best to muffle her sobs when she hears his confession. Its been six long years, yes, but her love for him just gets stronger through every obstacle that they faced. She didnt think he would think the opposite. "Everything has becomes a routine for us. I want something new Y/N. I want adventures and fun. You... you just dont interest me anymore," his last sentence ends up in a whisper as the last effort to not hurt her.

Y/N cant stop her tears from flowing freely down her face anymore. She nodded weakly at Jungkook's emotionless face. She didnt know what to say. She didnt know what she should say.

"I'm sorry for thinking my love for you is enough," she whispered between choked sobs. "I love you Jungkook," Jungkook just stayed quiet as he looks at he hurt etched across the fcae of the woman he had loved for so long. "Just... just give me two days to clear up my things from the apartment... and... and I will be gone from your life,"

"Okay," he nodded before lowering his gaze. He thought he is going to be okay with this but it still hurts him to see Y/N cry. "I will give you the space you need and stay over at the dorm,"

Y/N looked over her shoulders one more time to the face that she loves and hate at the same time before exiting the now cold room. "Be happy Jungkook,"

/////

With non stop tears running down her face, Y/N threw her things inside the cardboard boxes that littered the whole apartment. It kills her to packed up every little memory she had build with Jungkook. Every single thing in the apartment reminds her of him, happy memories with him kept on replaying in her mind. The TV that she has turned on to keep her mind distracted while she packs start to play an entertainment news, and with her rotten luck, it showed a picture of Jungkook with the same girl from yesterday, now known as Yurin, finally announcing that they are officially dating.

Y/N felt her heart stops. It havent even been a day since she found out and Jungkook has already made a move. Six years their relationship was kept in the dark, always telling her he is not allowed to date and it people found out it would hurt his career. Six years of allowing herself to be fooled, always thinking and putting him first. Six years together, she had done everything with him and for him to just throw it all away... Y/N collapsed on the floor, hugging her knees to her chest as she buried her face and cry.

You can do this Y/N. You can be strong. You can let go.

After being curled up in a ball for almost an hour, she finally stood up with new determination and start to throw away every memory she had with him, picture frames, polaroids, tshirts, plushies, gifts from him, everything, into a pile as she packed up her things in a faster pace.

No more. No more Jeon Jungkook.

/////

Y/N smile as she look around the almost empty apartment. With her things gone, it looks almost unoccupied since Jungkook kept most of his things at the dorm. The movers has already brought down all her packed items and Y/N look around one last time, a small smile graced her face, along with a single tear that she quickly wiped away as she remembers for one last time the memory when she first moved in here with Jungkook. How happy they were back then.

Its over now. He has somebody new to make memories with. He dont love you anymore Y/N. Its over.

Its time for a new beginning. Y/N whispered to herself as she looks down at her flight ticket and the acceptance letter that she almost rejected at first because of Jungkook.

A new beginning without Jeon Jungkook.

/////

Jungkook lay down on his bed, tossing his phone around, something feels unsettled in his chest, when it dings, indicating a text from Yurin just came in.

"Another party Yurin? Really?" Jungkook sighed. Yurin is an uprising idol who is labelled as the IT party girl. For the weeks he had cheated with her behind Y/N's back, Jungkook felt alive. Going out to new restaurants, clubs and attending exclusive parties with a beautiful girl on his arms, but he's sick of it now.

Yurin loves showing whatever she does to the public. Its only been a day since they went public and she already showed millions of intimate moments of their relationship to the world. Private selfies, voice clips that Jungkook sang to her at nights, cute videos of their dates, everything. Jungkook knows his life as an idol was never going to be kept private anyway, but cant he just have a private moment with his girlfriend? Just cuddling and talking all night until the sun rises without it being posted on social media the next day?

Yes, Yurin is something fresh. Something new. Adventures and fun. But he didnt want that. He didnt want parties every weekends. He didnt want new suits and dresses everyday, just to attend another snobbish event. He didnt want rough nights together between the sheets but ended up sleeping with their backs facing each other. Those wasnt adventures.

Adventures are hiking up the hill at 4 am just to watch the sunrise together. Cooking home made meals that they never tried before together instead of dressing up and eating at these fine dining places that doesnt even taste good. Wasting his free day watching back to back superhero marathons, cuddled up in blankets, limbs tangling with each other. Passionate nights together that leads to pillowtalk, exploring their dreams and fears with one another. Dancing and singing to old pop songs while trying to clean the apartment but ended up only making it messier. Running around in the rain instead of waiting it out, only to be sick the next day. Sneaking out together to some run down diner in the middle of the night, meeting up with his hyungs, eating multiple burgers and ice cream, laughing the night away, only to work extra hard the next day to burn it all off.

Jungkook blinked as he realizes, those are the things he miss.

Those are things he used to do with Y/N.

He said he wanted new things. He wanted adventures. Something fun. That is what he said to Y/N when she asks him why. That is what he thought he wanted in Yurin. But Jungkook never realized that Y/N is everything he had ever wanted. She is the combination of familiarity and new memories. She is new experiences and familiar warmth.

Y/N is his home.

"What the fuck am I doing? What the fuck did I do to Y/N?!" Jungkook yelled to himself, surprising Jimin who passed by his room. "I need to go. I need to talk to her before its too late!" He grabbed his jacket and ran out, leaving a puzzled Jimin who didnt get a chance to ask him anything.

With panting breath Jungkook slammed the door opened only to be greeted with a cold and empty apartment. It doesnt smell like home. It doesnt feel like home. Not anymore. He stood in the middle of the empty apartment, realizing he's too late and Y/N is no longer here.

Jungkook noticed every single thing that is different. How the coffee table is no longer littered with her books, how there are no more fresh flowers in the vase beside the window, empty walls that's used to be filled with pictures of them, the smell of home cooked food that usually fills the air the moment he open the door, her favorite cartoon character cups in the kitchen shelf, the magnets that littered the fridge which she always bought when they went travelling together... everything is gone. And Jungkook has never felt more lonely.

He didnt know where else to go, so he ran to the only place he could think off; her office. The receptionist was shocked when she recognized who he is, but he doesnt care. If Y/N takes him back, he will tell everybody that will listen that they are together. That he loves her. That he's never going to let her go ever again.

"L/N Y/N. I need to see her," Jungkook asks still panting. The still shocked receptionist scrolled on her computer and after a few seconds, she looks up at him.

"Im sorry sir. There is no one that works here under that name," Jungkook furrowed his brows. He is pretty sure this is where Y/N works. He himself has dropped her here a few times before.

"Are you sure? This is XXX Enterprise right? Is there another one?" The receptionist shakes her head.

"No. This is the only one,"

"Then she must be here!" Jungkook slammed his clenched fist on the counter, making the receptionist jumped. "I need to see L/N Y/N!"

"But Sir. I.. I-"

"Did you say L/N Y/N?" Their conversation was interrupted by a girl who just came down from the building. Jungkook immediately rushed to her.

"Yes. Do you know her? Can you take me to see her?"

"I do know her but... I'm sorry. Y/N doesnt work here anymore. She quit with a 24 hours notice yesterday. I heard she moved somewhere out of the country," the girl explained, giving him a sad smile before walking away. Jungkook felt his knees wobbled as he hold on to the wall. It cant be true. It just cant be.What has he done? Did he really make her ran out of the country?

Where did you go baby? Please come back to me. Please stay. Please.

Jungkook walked out from the building, steps unpurposeful and defeated and unknowingly his feet brought him back to their shared apartment.

He was about to slumped himself on the sofa and just drowned in self pity when his eyes caught a box in the corner of the room. He walked over and saw its a box filled with their memories together

Did Y/N forget to bring this with her? Or did she intended to throw it out but forgot?

Jungkook sit cross legged in front of the box and start to take out the things inside. He automatically smile as his hand touched the first item. His white tshirt. Y/N loves to sleep in those. She says its comfortable and it smells like him, it helps her sleep better on the nights when he is away on tour. He sniffed the shirt and her scent start to filled his nose. He inhale and close his eyes as he starts to feel an ache inside his heart. He continues to rummaged through and found plushies he had won her on their first date from the claw machine, picture frames of them, the bracelet he bought her on their first anniversary. Every inch of their memory, Y/N has discarded and left it behind. The thought hurts him so much he feels suffocated.

The last item that is shoved to the bottom of the box is a scrap book that Y/N made for their six years anniversary. Its filled with pictures and momentos dated back from their very first date to their last one, which is almost months ago, making Jungkook realized how long he has been neglecting her. And yet, she had never once complained.

He flipped through the pages and saw pictures of him and his group winning awards, photos of their performances. Events that he never allow Y/N to attend under the false pretense that he is not allowed to date. Y/N never asks why, never once argued or demand anything from their relationship. Quietly watching her own boyfriend from behind a screen instead of being there with him celebrating.

Jungkook sighed and placed the scrap book down. Y/N never questioned any of his move. She trusts him and he broke that trust. For six years, all she wanted was for him to be happy. She's always there when Jungkook is stressed out over work, releasing his anger on her instead, but she always takes it with a smile. She's there when he's sick, always attending to him, making sure he and his group mates have enough to eat, bringing them lunchboxes during practice. Its not a question that his hyungs adores her. She's always considerate, understanding and consistantly asking what Jungkook needs and want.Even on the verge of breaking up, she didnt make a scene, agreeing quietly, respecting Jungkook's decision to stop loving her.

After six years, Jungkook only now realized he had never once asks her how she's doing. If school and work is hard on her, if she has a problem, if she's sick. Never once has he told her that she's already a perfect girlfruend for him and he loves her just for who she is. Jungkook starts to shake as his body try to hold in the hurt and tears he's feeling. The memory of her starts to haunt every inch of him, making him collapsed to the floor.

Where are you Y/N? Please come back to me. I need to tell you Im sorry. I need to tell you I love you. Come back. Please come back. Jungkook whispered repeatedly as he finally fall asleep with the shirt that still smell like her clutch tightly in his grasp.

/////

Jungkook immediately went to see Yurin the next day, explaning that their whole relationship is a mistake, consumed with lust and not love. He had expected her wrath but to his surprised, she was calm and agreed to his request to break up. Her only request is to wait a month before officially announcing it as it would damage her image if the news came out only a day after going public.

Months passed by and the two of them still maintained a great friendship, hanging out and still contacting one another. If only Y/N is back in his arms, then everything would be perfect.

"Good job everyone, see you tomorrow!" The cheographer clapped his hands, indicating the end of their practice for the day. Jungkook slide himself down on the floor and take out his phone as he gulped down from his water bottle. He scrolled through the pictures of him and Y/N and smile to himself.

"What's up with you? Do you have like a secret girlfriemd or something?" Jin elbowed him as he slide down beside him and take a swift of water. Jungkook just smile at his hyung. Without anybody's knowledge, Jungkook tried to find her everyday since she left, texting and calling her number, but never once received a reply. But it gives him hope when no one ever text him back saying he got the wrong number or the number is no longer in used. He is sure its still Y/N's and she is just ignoring him.

"Seriously, are you keeping something from us?" Jimin pouts.

He looked up at Jimin, almost opening his mouth and stop when he remembers that nobody knows the truth except for Taehyung. Jungkook came back to an empty dorm the next day with tears still evident on his face, only to be found by Taehyung who is actually sleeping and decided to stay home. Emotionally hurt and unstable, Jungkook let out everything to his hyung and makes Taehyung promise to never tell anyone about it.

"I-"

"Okay guys. Go shower. We have a meeting about the new variety show in 30," Namjoon announced making the boys groaned.

Freshly showered, the seven boys dragged their tired feet to the meeting room which is already filled with the production team and their own management team. Seating himself in the corner, Jungkook slumped down on his chair, tired. He dont really participate in these meetings anyways so maybe he can just dozed off. Namjoon and Jin can always fill him up later. After a while his manager clapped his hands.

"Okay. Its settled then. Take a look around guys, these are the faces you are going to be working with for the next one year or so," he told the room and everyone start to smile and busy themselves to look around, making themselves familiar with their new colleagues. Jungkook straighten up and scanned around the room too before his eyes fall on a girl seated way back on the opposite side, her hair and cap pulled low to cover her face. Jungkook continues to stare as there's just something familiar about her, but it seems she's trying hard to avoid looking at him or his hyungs.

Maybe she's a fan and she's starstruck?

To his luck, someone went over to greet her, and having no other choice, the girl raised her head to smile and greet the person back, revealing her face, making Jungkook's heart beat faster and eyes turned wide.

"Wait...Y/N?"

/////

Ahhh shit. Why do my first project has to involved Bangtan? Why does life hate me so much?

Y/N cursed herself as she walked alongside her team into the meeting room. After a year of studying abroad in broadcasting and production, she finally came back and was immediately hired by one of the big company in the field. Impressed by her skill, she was immediately assigned to her first project, which is an ongoing variety show which will take up to a year or more. Y/N is excited until she read the project paper and realized with who she will be working with.

Very soon after her departure, she starts to receive daily calls and texts from Jungkook. Texts that says he miss her and he loves her, asking for forgiveness. She ignored each and every one of it. Her heart almost gives in at first, but when she remembers the image of Jungkook and Yurin, the memory of how he told her he dont love her anymore, her heart starts to harden again. She still remembers the lain and its never going away.

Y/N thought she was doing well in hiding herself. None of the boys seems to recognized her. Until the manager asks them to look around and she saw Jungkook's curious eyes keeps on staring at her. She pulled her cap low, hoping she can make it until the meeting ends. She almost made it when one of the senior calls out to her and she has no other choice but to look up, and that's when she heard it.

"Wait...Y/N?"

Y/N ignores it. Hoping Jungkook would think he got the wrong person if she just stayed quiet. But the relentless boy stood up and walked closer, giving her no other place to hide.

"Y/N? Y/N, its really you!" You take a deep breath and turned to face him. It would be weird if you didnt since Jungkook is calling your name in the middle of a crowded meeting room. Still, you thank god the room is noisy with people greeting each other so no one is really focusing on the two of you. You turned, only to be faced with Jungkook smiling wide at you, bunny teeth showing and all, the smile so wide it stretch across his face. He took a step closer and reached out for your hand but you flinched away.

"Im not dreaming am I?" He asks more to himself rather than to you. "Y/N... its you. It really is you..." his voice coming out almost a whisper, she can see his eyes glisten. You look around, hoping something will save you from this awkward situation.

"He... hello, Jungkook-ssi,"

Jungkook's brows furrowed, confused. "Y/N. Its me. Why are you-"

"Okay, that's it for today! We shall meet again on the first day of recording. Thankyou everyone!" Someone said above the noise and everybody start to exit the room, Y/N being the first to grabbed her things and ran, leaving Jungkook standing there alone.

"Hey Kook. You okay?" Taehyung patted his back, confused by the maknae's weird behavior.

"She's back hyung. Y/N's back," he whispered, eyes still locked on the door.

"What?"

"Y/N is back. And I'm going to make her mine again,"

/////

"Okay, so let me get this straight," Namjoon huffed. "You cheated on Y/N with Yurin. Then she found out, and then you say all these nasty things to her. Y/N moved to another country before your stupid ass can figured out that you actually love her and made a mistake. And again your stupid ass have been pining on her since then, and now a year later she's back as a part of the production team and you want her back?"

Jungkook nodded eagerly, disregarding all the insults thrown at him. Namjoon give the back of his head a hard smack.

"Owh hyung!"

"You deserve it you idiot!" Namjoon snarled. "How can you do that?"

"Yes. You do. You do deserve it. In fact, give him another smack Joon," Jin said as he continue to eat his food from the takeout box. All seven of them are now gathered around the living room, eating their takeout after the meeting when Jungkook, after being coaxed by Taehyung, decides to tell everything to his hyungs. Its better if they know anyway. Namjoon land another smack on the side of his head as per Jin's request.

"Oww hyung. That really hurts!" Jungkook groaned as he rubbed his head.

"Good. It should hurt. Its nothing compared to the hurt Y/N felt. Why would she loves an idiot like you I will never know," Jungkook lowered his gaze.

"I know I hurt her hyung. But I was stupid," he mumbled. "I'm still stupid. But... I want her back. Please help me. I have waited for a year to see her again. Now she's right here. I will die if I lose her again," Jungkook begged. Yoongi rolled his eyes.

"Oh stop being so dramatic! This happened because of your own stupidity anyway,"

Taehyung chuckle while Jungkook pouts. "I think he really will hyung. I have known about this for almost a year now and he does look like he is dying sometimes," Taehyung backed him up.

"Yoongi hyung is just pissed because he likes Y/N. We all like Y/N. She's great! He is still angry at Kook for breaking up with her," Jimin helps to explain something that everybody already knew.

"Of course I am. She the only one who understand the importance of sleep when you imbecile starts to make ridiculous amount of noise and she feeds me too. Jungkook is an asshole," he growled, making Jungkook ducked his head. Its no secret that Yoongi adores Y/N. She is the only girl he has ever brought to his studio and even share some of his unfinished songs. His hyung adoration towards his girlfriend sometimes ignites his own jealousy. Yoongi is extremely pissed off when Jungkook dumped her for Yurin, but now that he know he actually cheated on her... he's fuming. "I should have just dated her instead," he added, although teasingly, but it makes Jungkook tense up.

"Hyung, no! Y/N is mine!"

"No she's not yours idiot," Jin stood up and gave him another smack in the head. "At least not anymore," Jungkook grumbled as he rubbed his head again as he decides to ignore what Jin said.

"So are you all going to help me?"

"Of course we are! We like Y/N," Hoseok cheerfully answered.

"But Jungkook, remember. We want her to be happy. If she decides she doesnt want to be with you anymore, then promise us that you will let her go," Namjoon warned sternly.

"But hyung..."

"Promise us,".

Jungkook ponders for a while. Letting her go? How can he ever do that? But Namjoon is right. Y/N deserves to be happy and if Jungkook is not what makes her happy, the right thing should be letting her go.

"Okay... I promise,"

/////

"Damn maknae, can you at least pretend that you are interested in the show?" Namjoon hissed at Jungkook, making the latter smile sheepishly and concerntrate to what the PD is explaning about the game they are going to play. How can he focus on some silly game when Y/N is right in front of him? Although she's trying to hide herself between the cameras and crew, Jungkook's eyes followed her like a radar. Its only the first day and he already cant control the urged to grab her and hug her tight. How is he going to make it through the whole year if Y/N decides she doesnt want him back?

"Hey Y/N," Jungkook smile at her, flashing his bunny teeth and turned to the crew she is talking to. "Can you excuse us for a while?" The crew bowed and leave, finally giving him a chance to talk to her alone.

"Hi Y/N," he tries again, still smiling. God, why am I smiling so much? Why do I sound like a love struck teenager? Jungkook scold himself and clear his throat to look cool. Y/N bowed and gave him a small smile.

"Hello Jungkook-ssi," Jungkook's smile dissappeared into a frown at her reply.

"Dont call me that. Dont act like you dont know me," his warm brown eyes looks sad as he stares into hers. "Please..."

"Im not doing anything," Y/N shakes her head. "We are just colleagues now Jungkook-ssi, I think its proper for us to keep our formalities," Jungkook sighed.

"Fine. Then can we be friends?"

"Its too early for that. We just got to know each other again," Y/N smile, making Jungkook's heart skipped a beat.

"Okay. Then I will make sure we will become friends," he smiled back. He is thankful enough that Y/N is atleast willing to talk to him after the shit he has done. "How are you? Im glad you are back," he said slowly. "I really miss you..." his voice is barely above a whisper.

"Erm, I..." Y/N felt awkward. She really didnt know what to say. Despite the way Jungkook broke things off with her, and how he cheated on her, Y/N doesnt hate him. Instead, she blames herself everyday for making Jungkook stop loving her. She told herself that she should have take care of her appearance more, be more interesting, more fun, anything. "Im doing fine,"

"Y/N...listen. I didnt get the chance to tell you before. The moment I found out you left I went to find you Y/N, but I was too late..." Jungkook lowered his gaze. "I'm sorry. Im sorry for everything. Im sorry for-"

"Its okay!" She cut him off in a rush. She really didnt want to talk about it. She doesnt want to remember the pain she felt when Jungkook said he dont love her anymore. Her still healing heart might just break again. "Its not your fault. People fall out of love all the time. Things that happened are in the past. Lets just keep it there,"

Jungkook is surprised at the hurt he's feeling. What does she means by its not his fault? Its no one's fault but his! "But Y/N, I-"

"Kookie!" Jungkook saw Y/N's eyes widen as she looks over his shoulder at the sound that is currently calling his name.

"Oh hey! I'm Yurin," the girl flashed her a smile. Oh Y/N knows alright. She will never forget the face she found kissing and doing more intimate things with her boyfriend a year ago.

"H..hi. I'm Y/N," Jungkook chewed on his lower lips, guilt and panic all over his face.

"Oh sounds familiar. But anyway, nice to meet you!" Yurin greet cheerfully and turned to Jungkook. "Oh Kookie, I wanted to tell you that my group is joining this variety too! We are doing it together! Isnt that great?"

"Wh..what?" Jungkook flickered his gaze from Yurin to Y/N. Y/N averted her eyes as she looks down. Its all too much. The way she held his arm. The way she calls him. The way she talks to him. Its all too much.

"I...I better get going. See you Jungkook-ssi,"

"Y/N, wait! I-" He couldnt finished his sentence before she has hurried away. He sighed in frustration as his eyes followed Y/N who is stopped by Taehyung and Yoongi who finally has the chance to greet her. He saw how Taehyung hug her tight and lifted her up, swinging her petite body around in glee and Yoongi swooped in and gave her another tight hug, burying his head in her hair, that lasted a little too long for Jungkook's liking. Taehyung then stilole her away again and kissed her forehead. Jungkook turned back to Yurin who is still happily telling him the news and excuse himself.

Why does Yurin has to appear right now?

/////

Jungkook looks out the window as the van take them to their next venue for the shoot. Its the second day of shooting, and Jungkook is excited to see Y/N again. Its only been a few days and he miss her already. He's going crazy thinking of ways to get her back. But what bothers him most is what Y/N told him.

Its not your fault. People fall out of love all the time.

What does she meant by that? How is everything that happened not his fault? Does she really believes that he didnt love her anymore? How can she still be so forgiving and pure after everything he did and say to her in the midst of their breakup?

Jungkook mainly stare at her during the whole shoot and he almost cried out in frustration when its over and he still didnt have a chance to talk to her. That is until Taehyung happily told them that he managed to coaxed Y/N to join them for dinner. Despite being happy that he can get some time with her, Jungkook still feel a little jealousy seeping in when he thinks how Y/N easily agrees to Taehyung request. He calmed himself, trying to remember that Y/N and Taehyung has always been close even before she is in an official relationship with him.

Its okay. They are just very close friends. Very close friends.

Jungkook sat opposite from her, right at the end of the table, at the restaurant while Taehyung sat on her right. He keeps on looking at her as he placed pieces of grilled meat and side dishes on her plate without saying anything. She didnt say anything either, as she slowly eats whatever Jungkook placed in her plate while she softly talks and laugh with Taehyung.

"Thankyou for dinner. It was nice spending time with all of you again," she smiled at them. The truth is, she miss them so much when she was away.

"Then you should come and hang out at our dorm again. Just like before!" Jimin suggested.

"Yeah. You can be on my team when we play video games. Chim and Kookie is always ganging up on me!" Taehyung pouts. Y/N laughs and pinched his cheeks.

"Aish, you are so cute Tae. I really miss you,"

"Hear that? Y/N miss me!" He squeals at the other members making them rolled their eyes. Jungkook who is watching the whole scene start to feel the same sense of jealousy seeping through again.

Why is she calling him Tae? Why is she telling him she miss him? Why is she touching him? Is something going on with them? Jungkook cant stop all these negative thoughts from running through his mind.

"So I will get going now," Y/N motioned to the opposite way of the road. Hoseok and Jin starts to nudge Jungkook with their elbow.

"What?" He hissed. They motioned to Y/N with their eyes.

"Gosh, you are so stupid," Jin hissed back. It took a while for Jungkook to finally understand what they meant.

"Oh!" He quickly ran after Y/N. "Y/N, let me walk you home," he said between pants as he fall in steps beside her.

"Oh. Its okay Jungkook-ssi. Im used to it. The air is nice and I dont live that far from here," she smile, declining the offer.

"No. I insist. How can I let you walk home alone Y/N. You know I always worry about you," his voice turned soft as he looks at her. Y/N kept quiet as the memories came back. Its true. Through the six years they were together, Jungkook always worry about her safety. He always makes sure that she never walks alone. On nights when he is busy, he will make sure to call her a cab or an uber and check on her the minute she arrived to her destination.

"Y/N...I'm sorry," his soft voice broke through her thoughts. "I want to tell you again and again that I'm sorry. I am so so sorry for everything I did," Y/N shakes her head.

"No. Its okay. We dont have to talk about it. Its-"

"No!" Jungkook raised his voice, startling her. "Its not okay. Me cheating on you is not okay! The things I said to you that day... its not okay. Everything I did to you is not okay. Scream at me Y/N. Hit me, hate me. Do anything. I will take it all. I deserve it all," he said as she took both of her hands in his, stopping them in their tracks. "Do something. Dont pretend that I didnt hurt you... I know I did... and I'm stupid for doing it," Y/N finally hear the regret and pain in his voice, something she didnt witness when he broke up with her, making her heart ache.

"Yes Jungkook," her voice suddenly broke the silence. "It hurts so much. Is that what you wanted to hear? It hurts so much, I feel like dying," Y/N speaks up, making Jungkook's head snapped up to her face. "A part of me died when you say that you dont love me anymore. Especially when I cant think of anything else but loving you," tears starts to spilled down her cheeks. "But I know I'm the one to blame. I was too comfortable with our relationship, I let it die. I stop doing things that interest you... and its fine. You deserve better. You always do," she looked to his eyes with her teary ones.

Jungkook shakes his head as he held her hands tighter. Is that what Y/N thought all this while? She blamed herself?

God, what have I done to you baby?

"Y/N. Its nothing like that," he whispered softly. His own tears threatened to fall but he blinked them back. "I thought I wanted something new, but I was wrong. You are everything that I have always wanted I have everything I need in you but I threw it all away. I'm sorry for making you doubt yourself. I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry. I'm just so so sorry for everything," Jungkook exhale. "I have never stop loving you Y/N. Im sorry for what I said. I love you Y/N. I have waited for so long for you to come back. I have waited for so long to show you again how much I love you,"

Y/N is shocked by his confession.

"Y/N, I promise to shower you with everything that you deserve. I know I dont deserve you, but please... please give me a chance to make up for my mistake,"

Y/N shrugged off her hands from Jungkook's hold, making him startled. "No! Im sorry, but I cant Jungkook," her voice shakes from too much sadness. "You cant do this to me again. It hurts so much the first time. I tried everything just to get over you. You cant just come back in my life just so you can shatter by heart to pieces again. Im sorry, but I cant Jungkook," Y/N choked out between sobs as she start to turn around to run away but Jungkook was faster, grabbing her hands.

"Let me go... please,"

"I will. But you have to listen to me first!" Jungkook cried in desperation. "I know. I know I dont deserve you, I know that Y/N. But as much as I know that, I also know that I simply cant live without you. I love you too much. Losing you... it hurts. It hurts more than anything I have ever felt," he peeks into her eyes, making her look at him. "But I promise you this. You can run from me Y/N. You can leave and ran away. But I will chase after you. I wont stop chasing you, wherever you go, I will follow you, I will be right behind you. I will be right there, until you are fully healed and realized that I wont do anything to hurt you ever again," he said with determination as he lets go of his hold on her, letting Y/N ran off without looking back to him.

/////

Jungkook tried hard to show he meant what he said after that night. He starts to talk to her more eventhough she ignores him. He will invite himself to eat with her, join her on her breaks and walk her home, even without her asking or acknowledging it. It also doesnt help that the boys are starting to pull her into getting close with them again. Inviting her to dinner and movie nights, lunches and just hanging out with them at the dorm. With time, Y/N has opened her heart to at least be friends with him again.

Yurin who eyed their growing relationship starts to be consumed with jealousy. She agreed to the breakup because its what Jungkook wants. She believes that someday he will come back to her. But with this Y/N girl around... and looking at how love struck and smitten Jungkook is with her... she sense all hope for them dying. The truth is, she loves Jungkook and she will do anything to get him back.

And that is exactly what she's going to do.

Jungkook sniffed the bouquet of sunflowers that he just bought with a smile on his face. Its Y/N's birthday today and he has everything planned out. He's going to give her the sunflowers when he sees her, then the boys are taking her out for dinner after work and after that they are going to give Jungkook some alone time with her. Jungkook has booked a private observatory just for the two of them. Maybe its a little too much for someone who are "just friends" but he feels giddy thinking about laying down on the blanket and the picnic he prepared for them, looking at the beautiful night sky together.

He look for her everywhere but couldnt seem to find Y/N. She most probably have somewhere else to be. Running late for his first scene, Jungkook just placed the flowers in one of the rooms, knowing Y/N will find it since he has attached a card to them. He smile as he makes his way to his hyungs.

"You guys are on in about 10 minutes," Y/N peeked her head inside the girls' dressing room. Yurin and her group are now also a part of the show and although it kills her to see the face that haunts her nights everyday, she have to keep it profesional. Y/N was about to turn away when she heard the girl's conversation.

"How sweet is Jungkook? Its like you two never broke up!"

"Yeah. My ex would never would have bought me flowers. Especially without an occasion," another squeal. "Maybe the two of you would get back together!"

Y/N, given in to her curiosity, peeks her head again to see Yurin smiling so bright, holding a bouquet of sunflowers close to her chest.

Jungkook gave her flowers? I guess they are still close... And he didnt even wish me a happy birthday. Y/N thought sadly as she walks away with a burning ache in her heart.

Dinner was wonderful. The boys was so much fun to be with and the food is delicious. But she was more excited after Jungkook leaned in close to her and smile, whispering something to her that make her forget about Yurin and the flowers earlier.

"I have something special planned for your birthday after dinner. Just you and me,"

Y/N was excited as all of them picked up their coats and get ready to head out from the restaurant, she is more than ready for Jungkook's surprise. Who is she kidding? She has forgiven him long ago and her heart is already falling for him again. Y/N smile as she thinks about Jungkook. She can feel he has really changed this time.

Jungkook was just about to take Y/N's hand as they head out when his phone rings.

"Yurin?" He answered making Y/N and the other boys turned their heads to him. "Yeah, yeah of course. I will be right there. Dont worry. I will always be there for you," he spoke rapidly into the phone. Hearing Jungkook saying those words makes Y/N''s heart ache even more.

"Y/N... I'm sorry... but I have to-"

"Its okay. Yurin needs you right?" She asks cocking her head. The other boys stands awkwardly, not knowing what to do.

"Its not like that. I..." Jungkook sighed as he ran his hand through his hair. Leaving her for Yurin. Again. On her birthday. He knows this doesnt look good on him. Especially when he's trying so hard to win her back. But Yurin was crying on the phone asking him to take her to the hospital. He cant just leave her alone.

But looking at Y/N who's trying to hide her dissapointed face... it kills him. "About what I said earlier... Tae-hyung will take you there," he suddenly said while looking at a surprised Taehyung.

"Me?" Taehyung points to himself. "Urm yeah, yeah. That's right. Anything for the birthday girl," he flashed her his signature smile and offer his arm to her after Jungkook mouthed a 'please' to him.

"Oh no. Its okay Tae. You dont have to. I dont want to burden you," Y/N waved her hands.

"No. I insisted. A pretty girl like you shouldnt be spending her birthday alone. And its not a burden. In fact Im the lucky one to be spending some alone time with you," he wiggle his eyebrows making her laugh. Jungkook swallowed a lump in his throat as he looks at the love of her life links her arms to his hyung's and walking away. Taehyung has always been flirty, Jungkook knows that. But he also knows how his hyung has a soft spot reserved just for Y/N and how his eyes twinkle when he looks at her.

Dont fall for Taehyung Y/N. Not when I'm right here waiting for you.

/////

"Tae, its beautiful!" Y/N exclaimed as she looks up at the stars.

"Yes, it is..." Taehyung whispered as he keeps on looking at her. He still couldnt believe how Jungkook is stupid enough to have hurt such a wonderful girl like her. If he was given the privileged to own her heart, he will do anything to keep that smile on her face.

"Cant believe Jungkook prepared all this and didnt get to see it," at the sound of his friend's name, Taehyung snapped out from his thoughts and plopped down besides Y/N who is now sitting on the blanket. "But I guess Yurin is always more important," she said in a low voice as she lay her head on his shoulder. Taehyung wrapped his arms around her. He can see how much Y/N still loves his younger friend and how being so close to Yurin hurts her. Why cant Jungkook see that?

"Hey... dont be sad. Its your birthday," he replied softly as he kissed her head. "Jungkook cares about you, you know. He still loves you," it pains him to say it but if Jungkook is what makes Y/N happy, so he held it in. Y/N kept quiet, lifting her head, staring at the stars.

"Right now, I dont want to think about him Tae," she suddenly broke the silence. "Right now, I just want to enjoy this beautiful sight with you," she whispered as she snuggle closer, laying herself on his chest. "You are wonderful Tae. I wish you are the one I had fallen for..." her voice so soft, like she didnt mean for Taehyung to hear her but he did. Taehyung wrapped his hands tighter around her, feeling his heart skipped a little faster.

"Then fall for me Y/N," he whispered softly under his breath, making sure Y/N didnt hear him.

Jungkook cursed as he make his way back to the dorms after checking up on Yurin. He didnt know why she made such a big deal. When he arrived, Yurin just actually have a little cold. With frustration, he went to get her some medicine from the drug store and went home after giving them to her. Because of her, he missed out on a romantic night with Y/N on her birthday. Because of her, his hyung is spending some time alone with Y/N, doing God knows what. What if Y/N fall for Taehyung while looking into each other eyes under the stars? Those kind of thoughts fills his mind all night, especially when he realized Taehyung is still not back hours after he was supposed to. Jungkook sighed and forced himself to sleep while thinking of the good memories he used to have with Y/N.

Jungkook tries to make up for that night the next time he sees her by asking her out for a coffee date during one of the shoots break time. Y/N agreed and told him to just wait for her at the cafe as she has things to finished up first.

Ordering her favorite drink, smiling to himself when he realizes he still remembers, he sat down at a corner by the large glass window, patiently waiting for her.

"Hey Kookie. What are you doing here?" He groans as he looks up and see a smiling Yurin.

"Im actually waiting for Y/N,"

"Oh? Maybe I should keep you company while you wait for her. I have no where to go right now anyway and its so cold outside," Yurin took a seat without bothering to wait for his permission. Although annoyed, Jungkook and Yurin still has a decent conversation with each other. He still enjoy her presence. After all, they did used to date.

She suddenly blinked rapidly and squeal.

"What's wrong?"

"There's something in my eyes. Can you help to blow it away?" She asks as she squint. Jungkook stood up and leaned across the table, first softly tucking her stray hair behind her ear and blow into her eyes.

"Is it gone now?" She shakes her head.

"No. Lean in closer. Can you check if there's anything in my eye?" Jungkook, not doubting anything leaned in closer across the table, peering into her eyes, their faces are so close she can feel his warm breath on her face, his scent making her dizzy. She suddenly bumped her head to his, making their lips touched for a second.

"Oh Im sorry. It was an accident," she smile sheepishly. Jungkook just grunted and sat back down before he turned to the window. What he saw outside almost make his heart stop. Y/N is standing there staring at them and Jungkook knows she must saw what had just happened between him and Yurin and get the wrong idea. Jungkook immediately stood up to go out to her but the moment she realized Jungkook is looking back at her, she stumbled on her feet and fell down scraping her knee. She quickly stand up and ran away.

Jungkook ran after her, figuring our she must have went back to the shoot since they still have another scene later. Reaching the set, panting and breathless, Jungkook search everywhere for Y/N. After a while he finally found her, but not in the situation he has been expecting. Y/N was perched up on a table, her face wet with tears as Taehyung kneeled in front of her, cleaning her wounded knee from the fall earlier. Jungkook can feel his body starts to be consumed wirh anger and jealousy as he marched into the room.

"What are you doing hyung?!"

"Im cleaning Y/N's wound. Cant you see?" Taehyung replied, raising his eyebrow. Jungkook came closer and grab the hand that is touching Y/N's knee.

"Dont touch her!" His aggressive behavior surprised both himself and Taehyung, and of course Y/N herself. "I...I mean, let me do it,"

Taehyung hesitates for a moment but after looking at the two of them, he decides to give them space. "Fine. But if you hurt her again, I will kill you," he whispered to the maknae as he passes by to exit the room.

Jungkook kneeled down and start to continue cleaning the wound. Y/N shivers the moment Jungkook's warm fingers touch her cold skin and a fresh batch of tears starts to erupt.

"Y/N, its not like what you think," Jungkook srood up to level himself with her. "What you saw, its not like that,"

"I...I didnt see anything,"

"Then why are you crying?"

"Im crying because it hurts. My knee hurts," she whimpered. Jungkook smile.

"The Y/N I know didnt even bat an eye when she broke her arm. I dont think she will cry this hard because of some tiny wound on her knee," his face is so close to her, she can feel him breathing as she closes her eyes. "Y/N... I'm sorry," he leaned in closer. "Please believe me. There is nothing going on between me and Yurin. We-"

The mentioned of Yurin's name makes something snapped inside of Y/N, making her eyes opened and pushed Jungkook away, startling him. She climbed down the table and walk to further herself away from him.

"No. I cant do this anymore," she said in a shaky voice.

"Y/N, what are you talking ab-"

"This. Being this close to you. Pretending to be friends with you. I cant do it anymore. Not when the image of you and Yurin still haunt me everyday. I cant do it anymore Jungkook," she yelled. Jungkook is shocked. Y/N was never like this. She is always calm and composed. What has he done to push her to become this?

"Y/N. Please listen to me. I lov-"

"Dont say anything. Just dont," she cut him off, shaking her head. "You have hurt me enough Jungkook. Please... I dont want to hurt anymore. Please, just leave me alone!" She turned around and exited the room, living Jungkook alone, shaking to the bones trying to comprehend what just happened.

/////

Y/N avoided him and his hyungs since then. Jungkook didnt know what else to do. How can he be so dumb? How can he not see what Yurin is up to? He finally found out the scheme Yurin is planning to ensure he and Y/N will never be together when he overheard her talking to one of her groupmates. He finally found out about the flowers, about the fake sickness, how she had planned everything to always ended up wherever Jungkook and Y/N is headed and how she staged the whole accidental kiss in the coffee shop. Jungkook is furious. Furious at her for being such a bitch. Furious at himself for falling for her trap. He should have known better to stay friends with a girl like Yurin.

And now he's going to lose Y/N all over again.

"I told you I will kill you if you hurt her again!" Taehyung slammed Jungkook's bedroom door open. Jungkook looks at him with no emotions in his eyes. That's how he is since Y/N told him to stay away form her. To stop hurting her. Her words keeps replaying in his mind and it kills him to know that that's what Y/N thought of him. As someone who continuously hurts her.

"Go away hyung,"

"No! After what you did, this is how you are going to act?!"

"What do you want me to do hyung? I am not good for her. I hurt her. Thats all I do. I know Im stupid, an idiot. Whatever it is you came here to say to me, I already know it. So just get on with it and leave," Jungkook turned around in his bed, showing his back to Taehyung.

"You are really a fucking asshole Jungkook. I dont know why she loves you. I dont even know why I'm doing this when I know you will just hurt her again. But..." Taehyung's voice soften. "She's leaving again Kook. She resigned and she's boarding a train today. She's leaving,"

"What?" Jungkook immediately sat up.

"She's leaving and she's not coming back. If you truly loves her, go now. Go and fight for her now!" Jungkook, without waiting for anything else jumped out of bed and ran outside the door.

I'm coming Y/N. Dont leave. Please dont leave me.

With the information that Taehyung has texted him with, Jungkook managed to reached the platform in time, having even to buy a random ticket to get in. He searched around everywhere and finally found the person he was looking for.

"Y/N..." Y/N turned around at the sound of her name, surprised to see the man she loves standing there, looking disheveled.

"Jungkook? Wh...why are you here?"

"Please dont leave me again. Please Y/N. Please stay with me..." He walks closer to her as Y/N chuckle through her tears.

"I didnt leave you the first time Jungkook. You left me. You left our relationship remember?" She said softly. Jungkook stand in front of her, both of them facing each other, having so much to say but also nothing at the same time.

"I'm sorry Y/N. But please stay with me this time. I... I love you. I love you so much," Jungkook's voice is broken, as broken as his heart.

"I cant. I'm sorry but I cant. I dont want to hurt anymore Jungkook. Being here... with you... my heart will never heal," she said softly. Jungkook didnt get to say anything as the train speeds in, blocking all sounds. "I have to go now. I'm sorry. I'm sorry Jungkook," Y/N said one last time with tears flowing down her face as she turnd away to the train's entrance. Jungkook can feel her vision gets blurry as tears starts to flood his eyes.

This is it. This is the moment he will lose her forever.

And there's nothing more he can do to make her stay.

"Be happy Y/N. I love you," he gave her a small smile and turned away, not willing to look at the girl he loves boarding the train that will take her away from him forever.

Jungkook fell down to his knees as he hear the sound of the train drove away, taking along his heart away with it. He sat there on the floor, crying his heart out.

"Yah, Jeon Jungkook!"

Jungkook wiped his eyes. Is he dreaming? That sounds like...

He turns around to see Y/N still standing there, wind blowing her hair and face a wet mess with tears, but never looking as beautiful as she did in this moment.

"Y..Y/N?"

"How can you just let me go like that!" Y/N walks closer and hit his chest. "You promised me that night. You promised me that you wont stop chasing me Jungkook. Did you already give up on me?" She cried out. Jungkook grabbed her tiny wrists, halting her from continuosly hitting his chest. He pulled her into a hug and buried his face in her hair while her cries is muffled by his broad chest.

"N..no. I would never give up on you baby. I would never," he whispered. "But I promised you that I wont do anything to hurt you ever again. And being with me is what hurts you Y/N," he sniffled. Y/N pulled her face from his chest to look at him.

"You are an idiot. You are really an idiot Jeon Jungkook," she starts to hit his chest again. "How can you ever think for a moment that I would be happy without you? You may have broken my heart into pieces Jungkook, but without you, I wont ever be able to piece it back together. Maybe that makes me an idiot, but that is what I am. An idiot for you," her tears starts to flow again. "I love you so much Jungkook. I love you. Please. Please promise me that you will love me. You will keep on fighting for me this time. You will stop hurting me," her voice soft as she begged, breaking Jungkook's heart. Never again would he want to hear his love begged to be loved by him.

"Baby," he cupped her cheeks and wiped her tears with his thumb. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. But I promise this time I wont ever do anything to hurt you ever again. If I could turn back time, I would take away all the pain I have put you through. I will fight for you everyday. Even when you are mine, I will still fight for you. I wont ever take you for granted ever again. I will cherished you, love you, worship you,"

"Just promise me you wont hurt me ever again. Just promise me Jungkook,"

"I promise baby. I swear with my life that I will do everything I can to make you happy with me," he kissed her forehead. "Thankyou for taking me back baby. Thankyou for giving me a chance. Thankyou for staying,"

"I have never left Jungkook. Because you have taken my heart from the very first moment we met, and you never did give it back. So in here," she pokes his heart, "is where I will stay, forever,"

#bts #bts fiction #bts scenario #bangtan boys #bangtan #bangtan scenarios #BTS jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook #juungkook scenario #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #kpop #kpop fanfiction #kpop scenario

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mikeshanlon · 7 years ago

Text

he’s all that: chapter two

fandom: it

pairing: reddie (richie tozier/eddie kaspbrak)

word count: 5k

one | on ao3

summary:

Richie smiled smugly, “You’ve got spunk Kaspbrak. I like that.”

“Why don’t you try shutting the fuck up Tozier,” Eddie retorted as the line moved forward, “So what is this, if not some ploy to get me to tutor you? Some sort of dork outreach program? Because I’m not interested.”

—

Or: The one where Richie Tozier has six weeks to get into a relationship and make someone fall for him. Only problem? That someone is the anxiety ridden, goody two shoes Eddie Kaspbrak, and he can’t even stand to be in the same room as Richie.

warnings: there is drug use in that bev/mike/richie are HUGE stoners. also this chapter there is mentions to maggie being an alcoholic.

a/n: hey! decided to post two weeks in a row just to get the ball rolling (which is why i still dont have all the chapters figured out as promised, my apologies). i'll probably start the every other week thing for next update (so chapter three should be up by march 4th). i would try to do every week but im a college student who has Stuff to do and also makes gifs and im horrible at finishing my writing so, giving myself a realistic deadline that will still hopefully produce quality work. anyways, richie and eddie finally interact this chapter! it's....................... a bit messy though. and we get to see the rest of the losers club in this one too.

tag list: @richietoaster, @wintersember, @howellhxlic, @ed-txzier, @clara-farl3y

After standing in the hallway arguing with Bev for ten minutes, (“I mean really Bevs, fuck!” “You said anyone.” “How do we even know he’s gay?!” “Richie, please.”) Richie resigned himself to the fact that he was going to find some way to charm Eddie. Maybe Beverly would let him borrow that spellbook she bought junior year when she had become obsessed with witchcraft and hexing the patriarchy.

Once school was finally over, Richie dropped off Mike at his farm per usual, ranting about the bet the whole ride over. The farm boy nodded along, but he knew the words ‘told you so’ sat on the tip of his tongue.

They pulled up to his house, the engine idling so he wouldn’t have to spend time getting it to start again, “Don’t wait up for me tonight if you wanna smoke. Got lotsa research in store,” Richie said as Mike grabbed his backpack and got out of the car.

Mike raised a brow, leaning into the passenger window (which in its broken state always stayed down), “I’m surprised Rich. You never do your homework.”

“Homework shmomwork,” he tapped the end of his cigarette out the window before taking another drag, “Gotta figure out what little ol’ Edward likes. Time for some deep dark internet exploration.”

“Ah, you’re gonna stalk him. Wasting time on social media does sound much more in character,” Mike smiled.

“It’s not a waste Mikey darlin’, a shit ton of preemo dank is on the line.”

The other boy laughed and shook his head, “Godspeed Tozier.”

Richie saluted Mike as he reversed out back to the main road, Bigmouth Strikes Again blasting on the old car radio.

He weaved through the streets filled with kids walking home or trying to find something to do in this shit-hole town. Long afternoons spent at The Aladdin watching the newest releases or aggressively slamming his fingers down on his favorite game at the arcade came to mind; along with going out of his way to bother just about everyone in his path. Richie never really had many friends when he was younger, spending most of his time alone. He was grateful he crossed paths with Bev and Mike, to fate, luck, God if it existed. The universe was rarely kind to him, but finding them was the best thing that ever happened to him.

Plus, the first time he had smoked weed, but that was with them too.

Turning onto his street, Richie pulled up to the unsuspecting two-story white house. It was straight out of a handbook on the American Dream; but the closer one looked, the imperfections started to appear.

The box overflowing with bottles once filled with alcohol next to the recycling bin, which was already too full with more empty bottles. A crooked ‘Home Sweet Home’ sign by the front door. Dying grass, overgrown and conquered with the little weeds Richie used to make wishes on before blowing the seeds into the summer air (I wish for friends. I wish for better parents. I wish to be loved).

He parked the station wagon on the curb, saving the space next to his Mom’s car for his father.

Maggie’s car hadn’t been driven in months (years?), and Richie absently wondered if it would even work anymore. It was nice, a decent heater and it drove well, at least it did when she had bothered to drop him off at school as a kid. Despite her general lack of care for the wellbeing of others, Mrs. Tozier did not drink and drive. Meaning, she didn’t drive at all, as she was drunk off her ass most of the time.

Richie grabbed his books from the backseat and clambered out, fumbling to find his house key among the mess of weird keychains he bought while high.

He didn’t bother stating his presence, even as a pretense, giving up the habit long ago.

Maggie Tozier sat outside, her back facing the screen door in the kitchen. A cigarette rested from her fingertips, and Richie wasn’t sure if she was actually smoking it or just watching it burn. Of course, her other hand gripped a bottle of beer, and a wine cooler sat at her feet.

Richie scoffed and bounded up the stairs to his room, a ‘KEEP OUT’ sign and band posters adorning the door.

It was often said that one’s room reflected who they were as a person, and Richie was no exception. That is, to say, his room was an absolute fucking mess. His bed was never made, and clothes and knick knacks littered the floor (he had already tripped over some beat up sneakers as he walked in). Old mugs, comics, a lava lamp, lotion, and an ashtray Bev had made him in ceramics sat on his bedside table (read: an old wooden apple carton). The only thing that he kept clear was his record player and vinyls at the edge of the bed, which were meticulously organized.

He tossed his notebooks on his desk, alongside stolen pens, his laptop, and his bong. If his parents actually fucking talked to him he would bother to hide his shit, but it didn’t really matter.

Picking up his laptop and its charger, Richie was on his way out again. He could stay home to conduct his research, but he hated the stuffiness and how lifeless the house felt. It wasn’t really even a home, at least not his. Plus, coffee. It was a necessity, especially for the amount of bullshit he’d have to go through just for the tiny brat.

Richie drove to the Starbucks on Main and Belmont, strolling up to barista and ordering his usual: venti quadruple-shot, black. While he often gorged himself on sweets, his need for caffeine could only be sated by the purest form the coffeeshop could offer.

Per usual, the barista gave him a look, “You sure?”

“Listen, I’ve already made a shit ton of horrible decisions today. Trust me, this is not the worst of them,” Richie answered, sliding the cash across the counter

She raised her brows but said nothing else, handing him the change.

He set up shop at a table by the window in the back, away enough from the other patrons. Most of the time Richie threw caution to the wind, but he figured it would suspicious if someone saw him furiously stalking someone who looked like they hadn’t even graduated from middle school.

After retrieving his coffee, opening his MacBook, and plugging his headphones in, Richie scoured Instagram first. ‘Eddie.k’ didn’t post much, mostly some artsy photos, including ones of Bill and Stanley Uris (their other best friend). There were only one or two selfies, much to Richie’s disappointment. Eddie wasn’t actually too bad looking if you ignored his clothes, his hair, his… everything. Freckles dusted his face, concentrated around his little nose, a few on his lips. Cute lips. Cute cheeks. He had the urge to pinch them. But Jesus, that combover. What was he, a balding man in the 80’s?

Other than those pictures, Eddie hadn’t really posted to Instagram in months. He moved onto his tagged photos. They had some more substance, although Eddie had pretty much only been tagged in pictures by Bill and Stan. It wasn’t like Richie wasn’t in the same boat of having only a few close friends, but at least he hung out with other people.

For the most part, the pictures were pretty normal, the three of them hanging out. Richie couldn’t help but snort at a picture of the three, presumably after a sleepover. They looked exhausted, hair messy, and were brushing their teeth. Pretty mundane, but Eddie had pulled a ridiculous face in the mirror. It was silly, but Richie hadn’t even thought Eddie was capable of making jokes or doing weird shit. The fucker was always uptight, serious even when they had a substitute. Unsurprisingly, Eddie did not appreciate the post.

eddie.k: literally stan delete this!!!!!!

stantheman: @eddie.k, sorry sweatie (:

Richie grinned and continued to scroll, stopping at a picture of Eddie lying down on the grass, laughing. He wore a red tracksuit, the one students wore to P.E. when the bitter chill of autumn came to Derry. His hair must’ve been a little sweaty, because it was curling up into a messy halo around his grinning face. Richie wanted to know this Eddie, see him curl up laughing, but he knew that would never happen.

He perused their profiles for a while before growing bored, downing a third of his coffee before moving on. Except Eddie didn’t seem to have a Twitter, or a Snapchat. A quick google search of his name only came up with a few images and… a Facebook profile?

Richie prayed that it was an old one Eddie had never deleted, but after the page loaded he saw that the most recent status was made last night.

“Oh my fucking god,” he whispered to himself.

Eddie’s profile picture made him look particularly child-like, a weird picture of him pointing to the camera like he was cool, even though the same hand had a clunky old watch wrapped around it. His header picture displayed the quote ‘there is bravery in being soft’.

Richie snorted, “Yeah, a soft fucking dick!”

Another patron scoffed at his fowl mouth, and he shot her a smug grin.

Eddie only had 40 friends on the site, which consisted of Bill, Stan, some of the other nerds at Derry High, and his mother and her friends. It wasn’t like someone’s Facebook friends actually mattered, especially because only middle aged mothers who posted minion memes about their alcoholism used it anymore, but it was still kinda pitiful.

His posts were generally uninteresting, stuff like ‘super nervous for the math test’, or ‘soooooooooooo bored ://///’. Otherwise, he mostly just shared pictures of cute dogs and DIY videos.

It was hard to find any useful information on Eddie, since he obviously lied a lot. Not in the way of bragging, or saying that he did things he didn’t (like Richie did). But there were comments from Mrs. Kaspbrak’s friends calling him a lady killer, or a few posts calling Carly Rae Jepsen cute (please, Run Away With Me is the one of gayest songs of all time). Eddie was closeted, and Richie knew from experience that someone could never really be themselves around others if they weren’t out.

What his profile lacked in useable information, it more than made up with blackmail material.

Take, for instance, little Eddie in possibly the gayest fucking hat imaginable.

He screeched as he saw the picture of the eleven year old, a white fedora-bucket hat hybrid sitting atop his tiny head, before breaking out into a full on wheeze. Richie was laughing so hard he couldn’t breathe, and then he thought about Eddie using his inhaler in that gay ass hat and laughed even harder.

The other customers began to stare, some concerned, and others pissed off at the disturbance.

Once he had collected himself somewhat, Richie sent a screenshot to the group chat.

the losers

bev: oh my fucking G O D

richie: I CANT FUCKIN BREATHE ELRNKKLNERG

richie: LIKE F U C K !!! KLJKLGRJKLLEJK

richie: LOOK AT HIS GAY HAT

richie: LIKE, IT’S GAYER THAN WEARING NOTHING BUT A PRIDE FLAG AND GLITTER

richie: HE LOOKS LIKE A TWINKY SKIPPER

richie: HOW IS THAT HAT MORE GAY THAN EVERY SINGLE ONE RYAN EVANS WORE IN THE ENTIRE HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL FRANCHISE COMBINED

bev: i’m muting you

mike: me too

mike: also that hat isn’t that bad

“‘Not that bad?!’” Richie squawked, not that he’d be able to hear him.

(Really, Richie had no authority on the subject. He still donned the occasional Hawaiian shirt over his tees).

He refreshed Eddie’s profile, seeing that he had made a new status.

Eddie Kaspbrak: big night friday, nervous but excited !!!!

Richie raised his brows in intrigue, seeing that Bill and a handful of other people liked the status. What was going on Friday?

He checked to see if Bill had posted anything, if Eddie was going somewhere, chances were Bill was too.

Bill Denbrough: almost the weekend, finally ready to let loose

Seriously, it would’ve been so much easier if Bill was the guy Richie had to woo. Kid was probably fucking nervous for a party, a place where you threw caution to the wind and had a good time. Still, he made a mental note about finding out what their Friday plans were.

Richie sighed, taking another swig of his coffee, “God, what a fucking loser.”

Suddenly, his headphones were being tugged out of his ear by an angry middle-aged woman with short-layered hair and eye bags.

“Hey, what the fuck?” Richie glared, snatching back his headphones.

The woman returned the look, putting her hands on her hips, “Don’t you have respect for the other customers?!”

“Sweetheart, I don’t have respect for myself, let alone some PTA moms-- like the post-divorce haircut by the way.”

Apparently, his finger guns did not soften the blow, because the lady started to scream at him.

And, apparently, this lady was also the manager, and was pushing him out the door.

So great, Eddie and his dumb gay hat got him banned from Starbucks.

Even though he was wounded from Eddie’s betrayal, (because Richie getting kicked out was definitely not his fault-- it was Eddie’s homosexual headwear. An anthropomorphic device of chaos, that Eddie owned, so, yeah, it was Kaspbrak’s fucking fault.) Richie still skipped smoking on Thursday to spend his lunch with the tiny fuck.

Obviously, they hadn’t made plans to do so, but Richie had, and he really couldn’t delay starting the bet. There was a lot on the line.

So, after getting out of econ (turning in an unstudied for but probably aced quiz), and throwing his shit in his locker, Richie detoured to the cafeteria.

The place was a fucking mess, and it reminded Richie just why he avoided the place. It was pure chaos, loud and overwhelming, a million things to get distracted by. Freshman with their stupid rolling backpacks kept whizzing by, making Richie trip or get his feet ran over. The tables were already filled, the honor roll kids, the partiers, Gretta and her gang. Fucking cliches.

He got in line, picking up a tray and proceeding to fiddle with the buttons at the cuff of his black and white flannel; trying to tune out the buzz of conversation. It was weird, at parties he thrived on the noise and disorder, but here all it was doing was fucking with his ADHD.

Richie drummed a beat onto his tray as the line moved forward and picked the most edible looking slop from the menu. The lunch lady glowered at him as he reached for his money only to realize he had put it in the other pocket, fumbling to put the bills and coins on the counter.

As she put the money in the register, Richie looked around the room, checking to see where Eddie was sitting. He was sat near one of the exits, carefully taking out his lunch and swinging his legs. And he was alone. Perfect.

“Kid, do you want a receipt or not?” the lunch lady snapped from across from him.

Richie blinked back into focus, “Uh, sure, sorry.”

She sighed and printed out the receipt, slamming it down on the tray, “Next!”

Grabbing his tray, Richie plucked up some plastic cutlery and made his way through the sea of students to Eddie Kaspbrak. He had to twist and lift his tray a bit, but eventually the crowds started to part a bit. A chorus of whispers started to erupt. Stupid small town.

“Is that Richie Tozier?”

“I think, but doesn’t he always get high with his stoner friends?”

“What is he doing here?”

“God, he’s so hot.”

Richie smirked, sending a wink at the girl’s praise before sitting across from Eddie. He watched for a moment as the boy continued to focus on on unpacking his utensils and napkins before clearing his throat.

Eddie’s eyes snapped up from his lunchbox, widening when he saw Richie.

“What the fuck?” It was meant to be a whisper to himself, but Eddie’s voice was louder than expected.

Richie grinned at the blushing boy, “Well, hello to you to Eds.”

“Don’t call me that,” Eddie snapped, returning to his food.

Richie waited for him to say something else, at least fucking look at him, but the little fuck kept his eyes glued to his grapes, nails aggressively ripping the fruit from their stems.

“Okay,” he started, taking a sip of his apple juice, “So, you may be wondering why I’m sitting with you—“

Eddie interrupted, annoyance apparent in every fiber of his being, “Is this gonna be quick or not?”

“I’m hoping it’s not quick, although given how hot I am it’s difficult for people to control themselves.”

A long, deep sigh came from Eddie’s (cute, soft) lips. Eddie grabbed at Richie’s hands, flipping them over so that the palms faced upwards.

“Wow, a bit forward, but I’m liking your style Kaspbrak,” Richie winked.

Eddie rolled his eyes and proceed to take out hand sanitizer from his fanny pack, squirting the floral scented product into Richie’s hands.

Honestly, what the fuck?

He must’ve sent the same message to Eddie with his face, because Eddie said, “You obviously aren’t gonna leave me the fuck alone, and if you’re gonna be in my space, you need to be clean.”

Richie raised a brow at this but rubbed the hand sanitizer into his hands anyways.

Jesus Christ, what a weird, defensive little bitch.

Eddie watched with focused eyes, and only spoke when Richie was finished.

“Continue.”

It took a moment for Richie to gain his bearings once more. This mission seemed dead on arrival, but he had to keep trying anyways.

“So, Eddie…” Richie trailed off, twirling the pasta on his plate before his eyes lit up, “Eddie Spaghetti, Eduardo, what’s up?”

Eddie scowled, “That’s not my fucking name!” he squeaked, “And ‘what’s up?’ I mean, we’ve barely even talked before. You think I’m just gonna put up with this because you’re Richie Tozier? I swear to god, if this is some fucking bullying thing...”

Around them, people began to stare and eavesdrop at the sound of Eddie yelling. Fucking perfect.

Richie blinked back at the boy across from him, now red in the face for a different reason, “Calm down, I’m just trying to get to know you.”

“Fat fucking chance.”

Okay, wow. Richie had more work cut out for him than expected. He thought of what to say next as he watched Eddie finish his grapes.

“This isn’t, like, a joke,” (it wasn’t real either), “I just wanna hang out.”

“Hang out?” Eddie’s chocolate brown eyes met Richie’s, his tone mocking.

Richie nodded, “Yeah, ya know, kick it with the homies. Make out a little if you’re down. Friend stuff.”

Eddie’s jaw clenched, “You’re unbelievable. Just fucking unbe— you know, how can you even say any of that shit? How can we be ‘homies’ if we’ve never ‘hung out’ before? And don’t want to-- I’m not-- you don’t know me!”

There was something underlying in Eddie’s voice as he snapped, wavering at the end. Richie, like most things in life, was completely and utterly fucking up.

“Well then, how about we fix that?” Richie leaned forward, “I was wondering if maybe you’d wanna—“

Abruptly, Eddie stood up, grabbing his food and walked off, making his way towards the cafeteria line where Bill and Stan were paying for their lunch.

Richie looked around at all the watching faces, some snickering and others as shocked as he was.

“...Embarrass me horribly in front of all these people.”

He took a deep breath, and shoved some spaghetti in his mouth, his frown growing larger at the disgusting taste. Richie was often considered a wild card, but this was when routine was a good thing. He should’ve just avoided this and sparked up with Bev and Mike.

Actually, he was going to do just that. There was still some left in lunch, and no reason for him to stay in the cafeteria if Eddie was giving him the cold shoulder. More like a giant fucking iceberg but still, pointless. Besides, he really needed to get high now. Eddie ruined his whole mood and pissed him the fuck off.

Richie got up and tossed out the inedible garbage before going to the usual spot, finger itching for a joint.

He used his foot to push open the door, which would’ve been cool, except with his clumsiness and horrible luck he tripped forward, narrowly avoiding falling down the steps and face planting by grabbing the railing.

As Richie caught his breath and stabilized himself, he could hear his friends laughing.

“Back so soon?” Bev smirked knowingly, taking a drag.

Richie huffed, “Ha ha. Let’s yuck it up for my misfortune,” he grabbed her joint and took a long hit, “This fucking kid, Bev. I don’t think I can do this!”

“As in, you’re morally incapable of leading him on?” Mike asked hopefully.

“Please, let’s be realistic here Mikey. No, that kid is like, the fuckin devil incarnate. Shithead is fucking crazy!” Richie paced, smoking from the joint.

Bev laughed, “What makes you say that?”

“Why don’t ya ask the whole fucking school?” Richie snapped, though the anger wasn’t directed at her, “They were watching it all go down. If that wheezy asshole ruins my reputation—“

“What reputation?” Mike interjected.

Richie rolled his eyes and flipped him off.

Another voice spoke up, “I dunno, Richie’s pretty well known. I like him well enough.”

Richie whirled around, just noticing a new face among the usual group, Ben Hanscom.

The eternal new kid, since no one ever moved to ass backwards Derry, was not someone he’d expect to be behind the art building. Maybe reciting poetry or some shit, but not blazing. Ben was sweet and genuine, albeit a little shy. He was no longer the chubby kid he once was, more stocky and muscular now. They weren’t too close, as the tawny haired boy spent more time with Mike and Bev, and if not them, the other dorks (like Eddie and his friends). But either way, dude was pretty chill. Richie just didn’t really want him there mid-meltdown.

“Haystack?! You smoke?!” he whistled, “Ho-ly shit, who woulda thought!”

Ben shook his head, “Uh, no I don’t. Mike and I just had to study for history next block.”

His deep brown eyes flitted to Beverly, who had now stolen back her joint and was playing with the key that hung from her neck. Yeah, studying was the only reason. Not Ben’s excruciatingly obvious crush on the red head.

“We would’ve just gone to the library, but Bev and I made a bet about if you’d be successful or not today,” Mike said.

Richie gasped, “Betting on my failure? Fuck you guys, Benny Boy is my new best friend.”

“I didn’t sign up for that.”

“Hey, I bet on you succeeding,” Mike put his hands up in surrender, “She’s the one who thought you’d screw it up.”

“And I was right. Pay up,” Bev smiled, holding out her palm.

Mike dropped a candy bar in it with a deep sigh. She tore open the wrapping, taking a savage bite of the chocolatey sweet.

“I think you have a gambling problem,” Mike quipped.

Bev shrugged, “Not a problem if I keep winning.”

She grinned, her teeth covered in chocolate and spit. Gross. Ben still looked enraptured. Double gross.

“Anyways, can we focus on the important bet, and the fact that this fuck is impossible! Seriously, Bev, babygirl, pick anyone else!” Richie whined, plopping his bony ass on the cement.

“First off, don’t call me ‘babygirl’,” she flicked the ash off the end of the joint at him, “Second, the deal was anyone. You either woo him or you don’t.”

Richie opened his mouth to complain again but Ben beat him to it.

“I’m sorry, but what are we talking about?”

The other three looked at each other in panic. Ben was friends with Eddie, there was no way he could find out what was going on. The whole thing would be ruined before it started.

“Nothin!” Richie squeaked, “Just uh… bet that I couldn’t ace a group project. I usually just bullshit a lot of that stuff and leave it up to the others if I can. Partner’s just a little… high strung.”

Bev groaned and Mike sighed. A horrible fucking lie. Richie was already trying to formulate a better one in his head.

Ben smiled, “That’s nice, a wholesome, supportive bet. But you really should just communicate with your partner. They might be nervous because of your history is all.”

Richie let out a sound of relief before realizing Ben’s advice could actually be helpful.

“Sure, but I already tried to talk to him and it didn’t go well,” he explained.

Bev and Mike raised their brows, catching on.

“Well, how did you talk to him?” Ben asked, “Was it an ambush or a friendly conversation?

Bev snorted, “Ambush, knowing Richie. He doesn’t do friendly conversations.”

“Maybe with you, because you’re on my ass all the time,” Richie shot back, “But uh, she’s right. Shouldn’t matter though, everyone knows that’s how Tough Guy Tozier does his business.”

Mike groaned, “Please don’t call yourself that ever again.”

“You’re just coming on too strong. You have to consider what he likes, what he wants. A good partnership comes with compromise and communication,” Ben nodded sagely.

Richie ruffled his hair, putting on his trusty British voice, “Thank you Advisor Hanscom. Your wisdom is greatly appreciated.”

Ben smiled awkwardly, his eyes going to Bev once again, “Course.”

He took the joint from Bev, inhaling the musty smoke and blowing it out his nostrils, the burning sensation familiar and welcome.

“And maybe, you should talk to him sober next time,” Mike suggested.

Richie laughed, “Don’t be ridiculous.”

By the time the final bell rang, he was still feeling defeated and unsure of his next move. Sure, he’d have to dial back his trashmouth charm, try to seem actually invested in Eddie but… that wasn’t going to happen if the brat never talked to him again. Richie had to find a way to break the tension between them, start fresh.

He sulked to his locker, pulling out his shit from the looming mess. Loose binder paper and pencils fell onto the ground, and Richie just wanted to bang his head against the wall of metal. Also, go home and smoke while playing video games but, mostly, hit his head repeatedly. Maybe he’d lose enough brain cells to forget the entire day.

After a few moments of excessive cursing, Richie grabbed what he needed and got everything that fell back into the locker. He noticed a new post it on the door just before he closed it.

Don’t give up :) <3 - mike

Richie smiled, and slammed the locker shut with a resounding clang. With a little stretch and a fix of his glasses, he strolled through the halls, making his way to the parking lot to wait for Mike.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Bill and Stan loitering around the halls as well, engaged in (an undoubtedly boring) conversation.

He remembered Bill and Eddie’s facebook status’ about exciting plans for tomorrow night and decided he should investigate.

“Billiam! Staniel!” Richie called as he approached them, “What’s up?”

The two stopped talking and looked up, Bill smiling while Stan rolled his eyes.

“H-hey, Richie,” Bill waved. Richie noted that his stutter had gotten a lot better just over the past year. The two of them had shared a few classes when they were juniors and were pretty friendly with one another. At least compared to his relationship with Eddie and Stan, who also seemed to hate him for no reason.

Speaking of, the prim and proper boy was glaring at him, “Didn’t get enough of being a nuisance at lunch?”

Richie raised a brow, “Whatever do you mean?”

Stan scoffed, and opened his mouth to respond, but Bill put a hand on his shoulder, “N-nothing. Stan’s just… on edge. What’s up w-with you?”

“Not much, just trying to figure out what my plans are for tomorrow,” Richie shrugged, “Got any suggestions?”

“The only thing on your mind is where to party? Not surprised,” Stan quipped.

Richie shoved his hands in his pockets, biting his tongue. Snapping at Eddie was what caused his whole operation to go south, and he couldn’t mess up this second chance.

Bill ignored the tension between them, “Well, usually w-we don’t do t-t-too m-much, but it’s s-senior year. Probably going to Peter Gordon's party.”

“That kid’s an ass.”

“Coming from you, that’s rich,” Stan commented, his arms crossed.

His grinned, “Well, yeah, I am Rich.”

Stan sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Yeah, he is, but he’s also s-super wealthy,” Bill avoided another ‘rich’ pun, “Meaning he’ll h-h-ave q-q-quality shit.”

Richie beamed, “Ah, I get it. You’re Robin Hood-ing that fuck. I like your style Billy Boy.”

He clapped Bill on the shoulder, and the other boy blushed slightly, “W-well, it wasn’t j-just my idea. Eddie and Stan helped.”

“Eddie? He’s coming with you guys?”

Bill shook his head, “N-no. He was supposed to, b-b-but that art thing came up so he h-had to cancel.”

“Art thing?” Richie asked, suddenly intrigued. This was the information he wanted.

“Yeah,” Bill nodded, “It’s this show that happens every month. At Jester Theatre. He always goes.”

Stan not so subtly elbowed Bill in the ribs, hissing at him to shut up.

“W-what?!”

“Yeah, what’s got your steamed panties in a twist Uris?” Richie smirked.

Stan sent him a scowl, “You know very well Tozier. Eddie told us all about what you did at lunch. Back the fuck off.”

“S-stan, I don’t think he meant--”

“No, Bill, he did,” Stan interrupted, “I don’t know what your game is, but if you hurt him…”

Richie put his hands up in surrender, “Hey, I’m not going to hurt him. He seems pretty strong anyways. I mean no harm.”

Stan didn’t look convinced at all. Fair enough.

The air between the two was tense, but Bill broke it by clearing his throat, “So, uh, will w-we see you at the p-p-party?”

Richie shook his head ‘no’, “Probably not. I have some more sophisticated plans lined up.”

a/n: hope you liked it! next chapter is p much all richie and eddie so get excited. if you enjoyed i would love hearing your feedback

oh and this is eddie’s gay hat if you were curious

#reddie #reddie fic #he's all that #my writing #it fic #yeah still have no idea how to tag this

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thedappleddragon · 4 years ago

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haha here we go again

there's a lot of dumb ranting and 3 days worth of logs and a dream in here so im gonna spare evryone’s dashboard and just put it all under the cut.

tw bad memories, talk of unhealthy relations with food, and dreams about dead animals

I realized I kind of entirely forgot to write about what I did yesterday? I kind of did a lot. I know my mom wanted to work on getting tile laid out in front of her bathroom, so we worked together to scrub the concrete and wipe up all the dirt and dust and whatever was under the carpet and remove some of the nails in the floor and bring up a spiky metal strip between the bathroom door and where the carpet was. The other main thing I remember is deciding to continue work on my dress, sewing up the outer bodice, checking that the bodice and lining would fit together, deciding I’d rather have no different colored front panel, and working on the circle skirt. At first I tried cutting the fabric on my bed, but it wasn’t big enough and too lumpy. I contemplated asking my friends if I could borrow their dining table, but I ended up clearing off my own. After I traced and was in the middle of pinning, I accidentally knocked over a glass bowl that I had set on the chair. My mom heard it from the other room and had me come to her room to tell her what it was. She got angry at me, which I thought was fuckin stupid if it was an accident, but after some reflection while cleaning up the glass pieces, I kind of understood why. Mostly I got a little upset about 2 ceramic pieces I made during school breaking a little from the drop. One was a mushroom house from middle school that always makes me remember feeling like an asshole during peer review when I told my person to smooth their project more because I didn’t know “no improvement needed” was an option until I got back to my desk and saw my person saying it was good in all categories because everyone thought my project was great for some reason. The other was a bunch of flowers on a circle. It was the last project we did before quarantine hit, I think. That one is in less tough shape, just a couple flowers knocked off and a chip on one of them. They can both be glued back together, I guess. Then my mom called me back into her room to listen to her talk about wanting to eat huge amounts of food, because she’s clinically depressed with BPD and PTSD and DID and several other acronyms and her favorite coping mechanism is food, but her doctor put her on a diet so she can get her knees replaced, but recently she’s been getting into a zone where she talks about wanting to eat entire cakes and pizzas and buckets of kfc and a gallon of queso or whatever the fuck and she goes “doesn’t that sound GOOD?” And I have to laugh along and say “haha no that sounds bad actually” and get her a piece of ham or something. And every time she goes on her spiel the only thing I can think of is the greedy from the raggedy Ann and Andy musical. It’s just this horrible undulating orange blob that eats everything in sight and seeing it for the first time just made me think of mom and it made me very uncomfortable, with all the orange goo and hurling noises. Also reminds me of this horrible video game boss fight where it’s the apocalypse and a fat lady on a scooter took over the buffet and eats so much during her boss fight, during the defeat cutscene she projectile vomits everywhere and dies. My brother Greg showed me that thinking it was funny. I hated it, and I still do. He showed me a lot of things he thought were funny as a shitty little kid, and I remember several of them being very upsetting. It’s ok. I don’t want to dwell on it. But after cleaning the glass and talking to mom I brought my fabric to my room and called it a night. Oh wait my dad also helped me with some paperwork my coworker handed me so I could get on the payroll.

Today I woke up differently than I have in a long time. I set an alarm for 10 am so I could be at work by 11, but I woke up at 9 from a heavy sleep with dreams about hanging out with my friend in my room, worrying about my dirty house. I wanted to sleep longer, so I got up at 10 to have breakfast and get ready. I spent my shift changing the price tags all around the store, making everything more expensive. I’m gonna work again on Tuesday where I’ll learn how to use the register. I hope I don’t fuk it up, but I have a couple days to relax until then. Maybe I’ll work on my dress. My friends all want to go to prom together, so my new deadline will be March 2nd or a little before. I still need to buy a ticket, but I don’t have access to the link to buy one :( bleh I’m too tired right now to worry about this shit. I only worked 4 hours again today, but after I got home I felt like I could have worked longer if they gave me something else to do. The only price tags left to change were a bunch of grills and stuff I don’t know about but I don’t know if they had any other work for my to do. But I’m glad I went home tho because I was hungry and my feet hurt from standing lol. I did laundry and made myself dinner and washed my hair and drew a little bit and made the table and tbh the pacing of today has been so weird I don’t remember everything. It’s only 1am but I think I’m just gonna go to bed. my friends started talking about going to prom, and I really want to join them, but I can't figure out where/how to buy a ticket. my brain started being really mean to me, syaing that I was being annoying and pushy and that they didnt want me at prom for some reason, so I low-key almost made myself cry until my friend offered to let me be their platonic date since their partner couldn't go.

last night I had a dream about a hard video game where when you played it, the black shadow enemies would fight you in real life, and one of them left imprints on my arm in the shape of lego bricks. they could only attack you so long as you played the game, and they tried to capture people and you were supposed to save them. I decided it was my time to play, and I walked into my garage that had turned into a cave with bat-people fused into the wall. I paid them no mind as I rescued a girl who was my irl brother, grabbing her hand and pulling her into another versoin of my garage which was uncorrupted and normal looking. she thanked me, and I said it was no problem. then I tricked her, telling her not to trust so easily, as I became one of the shadow enemies and engulfed her in a black sack, trapping her and leaving the room. I came back a couple minutes later, letting him free (now my brain told me he was my brother) telling him I just wanted to know if I was capable of tricking him, and didnt actually want to kill him or whatever. another big chunk of my dream was taken up by me, my sister, and my dad visiting a run down petting zoo/gamestop. the petting zoo barn was very dark with low ceilings with lots of rabbits and pigs and hay. one of us accidentally killed either a pig or a tiger right next to the exit door, and I had to slink around the gamester trying to distract the owner and keep him from going in the barn and escaping at the same time. I dont remember how it ended, other than me waking up with a sore throat from breathing so deeply through my nose. I had slept on my stomach wit my pillow in my face so I could hardly breathe, and even after I woke up I felt like I wasnt getting enough air. I HATE that feeling, I always felt like I was suffocating in middle school for some reason. I thinkk somethings wrong with my airway but im not gonna do anything about it. im gonna continue to spend 80% of my day laying down so my resting heart rate and breathing speed is slower than an goddamn sloth. whatever.

right now as im laying in bed typing this I feel utterly unpoductive but I KNOW I did SOME shit today. but yeah mostly I relaxed. I worked on my dress, removing and replacing the blue front panel. I lost my exacto knife somewhere so I went to dollar tree to get a knockoff, along with snacks for mom and my sister. the blades aren't as sharp as exacto, but I still know where the name brands blades are so maybe Ill try and see if they're compatible. when I open the package everything was oily and gross, so I washed everything off with soap and water before I used them to cut the threads of the panel seams. I could have used my seam ripper but I wanted to get a replacement craft knife anyway. its kinda neat that it came with 6 different shaped blades for different crafts :) but uhh I also cut out the other half of the circle skirt of the dress, and I have a bunch of extra fabric left over. probably enough to make a whole other bodess if I wanted too. I used my sewing machine to attach the new front panel, and I was hoping to get more sewing done tonight, but when I asked my sister if it was ok for me to use my sewing machine (it right next to the wall between our rooms so she can hear it from there) she said she was going to bed soon so I just attatched the front panel and called it a night. so that kinda sucked. I still have another day tomorrow before I have to work again, and I can still work on my dress on Tuesday after work. idk why my brain thinks that one 4 hour shift is gonna take up my entire day lmao. I just have to get the whole thing done by may 2nd. GOD that reminds me, im gonna be so busy next month. I have six events back to back happening like every other day, plus work. oof. I'll have to let my boss know, but idk If that's gonna make him mad. I've already got pretty comfortable with the lady in charge of the garden center who’s taken lead position while the manager is on vacation, but I dont think I;ll every understand my boss. he’s a sarcastic busy old man and NOT AT ALL approachable. whatever. really the only other tings I did today were drink a shit ton of water play harvest moon, spend too much time on tiktok, and sraw a couple dum things for my friends’ princess au. I fucking HATE the drawing I did for Anna, so I designed her a secondary outfit more inspired by sky pirate bohemian vibes, since she rules over the floating islands. idk if I'll replace her old outfit with the new one in the lineup or just re-draw her old one with better shapes and composition and match the style better or what. I just need it changed eventually becasuse it looks like ass. tbh now that ve taken a little bit of time away from the princess au, there are a couple designs im not 100% satisfied with. but I know that if I go back and make them more detailed or whatever the’ll be more of a hassle to draw and aslkdfhalksdf I dont know anymore. I'm still tied up about color pallets and trying to give everyone a distinct color, and im a little upset it doesn't quite work, and FUCK dude the edgy one’s lore and character are weird and I kind of want to revise it to make it a little nicer but its not my character and I need to stop shoving my dirty little mitts into everyone’s ocs and AHAGHRGHGARGHHG idk man. her power is necromancy and she has a skeleton army, which I think I kinda cool, but I also think it would be neat if her powers extended beyond just that to communing with the dead, helping them find rest, and THEN maybe it can branch into helping fallen soldiers fight again to help them with unfinished buisness. and then if she goes feral and starts abusing her powers, she ignores all the communication and concent with the dead and instead magically rips them from thr ground to do her bidding and they’re uncontrollable and violent and aimless, just like her mind slipping from the magical blight infecting her. idk man we’re till working on a lot of lore. her concept could be SO COOL with just that little bit of extra thought, but so far it’s just MY POWER IS DEATH IM SO EDGY. ugh I know its fuckin rude to bash your friends oc ideas and I might be too overbearing and controlling of this au but dammit im tired and im mean sometimes and my ego is through the goddamn roof and im so sexy and im always right and my meat is huge. ah shit I rpomised my friend I would help her with character design for the dead king but I was busy when she firat asked me and now im not busy but im not doing it ugh. im just frustrated right now because I spent wayyyy to fuckin long just laying in bed watching tikotks and youtube and playing harvest moon an doing jack shit all day. but hey at least I attempted to get a new social security card again today. and them promptly gave up when they said my adress was invalid. again. I feel like im in an uncomfortable medium between having no plans and worrying about the future and having too many plans all the time oh my god. ive been so focused on getting a job and then having a job and making this dress I completely forgot about college shit. thankfully there's no hard deadlines coming up that I haven't already finished. whatever I dont really want to worry about all this hit right now, im just gonna take it one day at a time. (haha it feels like my angel oc just stepped in. how nice of him :) )

#thanks for coming to my ted talk #April 2021 daily #2021 daily

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i-write-shakespeare-not-disney · 7 years ago

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Beloved Part 2

I dont know why this happened, but I’m weak, love my baby Violet, and yes, I stayed up until 3 am writing this mkay so feedback would be appreciated. Also please tell me what you think about the donation/commission thing I mentioned before. Thanks!

Taking care of a baby was hard work. Keith was tempted to say it was even harder than being in war. For the first few weeks, Keith and Lance had been terrified to hurt Violet when changing her diaper, her clothes, when bathing her, burping her. Lance had a little more experience from having taken care of his siblings, but it had been a long time since he took care of a baby, so he was still hesitant.

After a few months, Keith got used to it and managed to be a little more confident in taking care of his daughter. Lance’s favorite thing was putting her to sleep and watching her breathe and smile from whatever she was dreaming. Keith’s favorite thing was feeding her because she would place her hand on Keith’s and make the cutest little sounds as she drank her bottle.

Pidge and Hunk were able to create a few soft toys for her to grip and fascinate herself with. Coran had managed to sew blankets together to make a quilt for Violet so she could lay on the floor and work on lifting her head. Allura liked getting the mice to perform for her, watching her purple eyes flit and follow the colorful critters.

When Violet was almost six months old, and able to sit up on her own with a slight support on her back, Keith began switching out with Shiro on missions. The first time he left Violet was the hardest, but he was more determined than ever to get back. When Violet was ten months, she began lifting herself up and standing while holding something for balance. With Hunk’s help, she was given a healthy diet of foods to nibble on. With Pidge’s, she was learning to differentiate colors even if she couldn’t say them.

When Violet turned a year old, a small party was thrown before an attack caused them to leave Violet in a special bunker made to keep her safe while Shiro and Coran stayed behind in the control room with one eye on the monitor in the bunker. That battle resulted in Lance getting injured so badly, he spent the night in the cryopod. When he got out the next day, Keith took him to rest in bed. Before he fell asleep, he asked Keith to marry him. Keith said yes.

Then Violet began walking. And she began talking. Suddenly she was three. Then five.

Now she was six. The team was coming back from another battle and Violet was rushing out of her bunker to hold on to her parents for the next hour. When the team came back, Violet barely managed a greeting to her aunts and uncle. She just needed her fathers.

She ran until she managed to leap onto Keith, wrapping her arms around his neck. She looked up in search of Lance who was already coming up behind them. She reached out and burrowed her face between them. “I’m so happy you’re safe,” she whispered with a trembling voice.

Keith held on to her and sighed, running his hands through her unruly curls. “We’re okay. We’re okay, buttercup.”

“Come here, princesa,” Lance murmured, pulling her into his arms.

He peppered her cheeks with kisses and she squirmed, smiling for the first time since the alarms went off. “Papi, your beard itches!” she giggled. Keith smirked and took Lance’s hand as they left to change out of their armor. “Why do you always have to go fight?” she asked, playing with a doll they’d gotten from the Space Mall.

“Well that’s what happens in a war,” Lance said, pulling her into his lap. “You have to fight a lot for a long time.”

“But why does it have to be you and Daddy and Aunt Pidge and Aunt Lura and Uncle Hunk and-”

“Well,” Keith interrupted with a chuckle, “We’re the ones the lions chose. We’ve told you the story of finding the lions and meeting your nino and Allura. We told you about finding the lions.”

“I know,” she sighed. “But I get scared.”

Lance kissed her forehead and scratched behind one of her ears, causing it to flick. “I know, mi nina. We get scared too.” Keith gave him a warning look that Lance pretended he didn’t see. “Go see if Nino wants to draw with you while we get out of the gear, okay? Then we can make some cookies.”

She nodded and bounded off the bed before leaving the room. When the door shut, Keith looked at Lance. “We get scared too? Lance, we’re her parents.”

“Yes, so we should be honest with her,” he answered, crossing his arms as Keith removed his armor and changed into more comfortable clothes.

“Not about that!” Keith ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “Look, she’s young, to her we’re invincible-”

“And what happens the day one of us can’t come back? I’d rather she know we’re not invincible and teach her to be smart and to cherish every moment she has with us than let her think nothing will ever happen to us and never be able to explain why one day we might not come back.” Keith grit his teeth and stared at him. Lance took a moment to change before facing Keith. “I know you want her to have this picture-perfect family you didn’t have, and you want her to stay innocent, but we’re at war, Keith.”

Keith covered his face with his hands and plopped onto the bed. Lance wrapped his arms around him and held him close. “I didn’t want this for her, Lance. I thought we’d be home by now.”

“I know, baby,” he whispered. “But we have to help her understand these things. It’s what would be best for her.” He sighed and leaned into him. “Come on. We have cookies to make with our daughter.” He tilted Keith’s face toward him and kissed him.

They left the room and found Violet sprawled on the floor doodling next to Coran. As Keith and Lance got closer, she scrambled to hide her drawings and shoved them into Coran’s hands. “Hide them, hide them!” she whispered. Coran chuckled and held her drawings near. “Papi, Daddy, can we make cookies now?”

After a few failed attempts to make cookies, Hunk ended up taking over while Violet tried to get Pidge to play with her.

“I’m sorry, munchkin, I would but my leg is hurt. See?” Violet peeked over and looked at the ice pack Pidge had taped around her leg since they got back. Violet sighed and nodded, walking away with dramatic slowness.

Keith smiled and followed her until she turned and looked at him with a somber expression. “Hey, buttercup. What do you say I take you into the training room?” Her eyes lit up. Keith hadn’t taken her to the training room before. He was always worried she’d hurt herself. He thought she was too small to start handling weapons, but he hated how sad she looked with nothing to do.

“Really?” He nodded and took her hand, leading her to the training room. “Are you gonna teach me to use your knife?”

Keith laughed and ruffled her hair. “Not yet. That’s a little too dangerous.” She deflated and Keith turned her so he could put her hair up in a quick bun. “But I can teach you to fight, if you want.”

“Then I can go with you to fight! And I can help!” Keith felt his heart drop, but he tried not to let his face show the amount of fear and pain those sentences gave him. He tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear and gestured to the mat.

“Okay, first you need to stretch. That way you don’t get hurt.” They went through a few stretches and exercises before Keith handed her a long wooden stick. He grabbed his own and stood beside her, showing her defensive moves, blocking methods, and attacks. She jumped excitedly each time after she managed to mimic her father’s movements.

“Okay, okay, I wanna fight now. Come on, Daddy let’s fight!” She pulled his arm and turned to him, holding her staff like he’d taught her. Keith smiled and began offering feeble attacks that Violet blocked and fought against with fervor. Keith smiled as he watched her fight and work so hard. His heart swelled with pride and he chuckled as he stepped back.

Violet was breathing heavily and Keith offered her a high-five. “That was really good, buttercup. You’re a fast learner. Let’s go find Papa and show him what you learned.” He leaned down to carry her and kissed her cheek.

“Daddy, if we’re both Galra, how come you don’t have ears like me?”

Keith bit his lip and pondered how to answer. When Violet was four, she’d asked why her ears were different from her fathers’. It helped to have Allura and Coran there to show her that others had different ears too. She didn’t know that it was the Galra they had been fighting for the last several years. The team had begun referring to the Galra as “the enemy” or “the empire.” Keith had only told her they both shared alien blood.

Now, he had to figure out how to explain why he didn’t look more like her when they both had alien blood without explaining how he was able to hold her in his own body. He sighed and looked at her. “Well, a lot of people look different from their parents. My mom was Galra but I look more like my dad. I only have different eyes. It’s all science stuff. You got the ears and my eyes. But you look a lot like Papa.” He touched her nose and she smiled, leaning into him.

“Will I ever meet my grandmas and grandpas? And the aunts and uncles Papi tells me about?”

Keith sighed and thought about what Lance said when it came to be honest. “I don’t really know, kiddo. I hope so though.” She hummed, but didn’t ask anything else.

“Mis tesoros!” Lance cooed when he saw them coming back.

“Papito! Guess what? Daddy taught me to fight!” She squirmed away from Keith and toward Lance, excitedly explaining what she’d been taught.

Later in the day, Violet was pacing around the room restlessly. The constant patter of steps eventually made Lance burst. “Violet, please stop walking around and sit down,” he sighed.

“But I’m bored!” she whined.

“Then find something to do,” he said. “Draw, or write, or learn something-”

“I don’t wanna!”

“Do not yell at me,” Lance warned in a low voice, crossing his arms. Keith sighed and rubbed his head. Suddenly he heard sniffles and cries.

He looked up and saw Violet crying, her face red and wet. “What did you do to her?” Keith snapped, walking over to her.

“I didn’t do anything,” Lance muttered. “Violet, stop crying. No one’s yelling or hurting you.” She mumbled something unintelligible and Lance sighed and leaned down. “What? I can’t understand you when you’re crying like that. Look at me. Violet Esperanza, I said look at me.” Violet’s bright purple eyes flitted to him. “Now I need you to take two deep breaths.” She did. “Now speak clearly.”

Her face contorted again and more tears fell. She looked down and mumbled, “I said s’not fair.”

“What’s not fair?” Keith asked gently.

“That I’m the only kid,” she said with a quiver in her voice. “I don’t have no one to play with and I’m always by myself because everyone’s big or busy. It’s not fair! I want a little sister to play with!” As she spoke, her voice rose and she began crying again, hiding her face.

Lance stood up and stared at Keith, dumbfounded. Keith looked pale. He glanced at Lance and they both seemed at a loss.

Suddenly Allura came in with Coran behind her. “Why is Violet crying?” she asked.

“Um… well… apparently she wants a sibling,” Lance choked.

“Ah, so she told you,” Coran chuckled.

“What?” Coran dug into his pocket and held out some folded papers. Keith took them and unfolded them. He saw bubble figures of two girls covering each page. Playing games, playing tag, standing with Keith and Lance. The word: “sistr” was written over the smaller girl with the second s backwards. “Oh God,” Keith breathed.

“Vi, since when have you been feeling like this?” Lance asked, his voice softer than before. She shrugged and sniffled. “Aw, princesa, I know it can get lonely. But it’s hard enough to keep you safe right now.”

She nodded and looked down. She wiped her nose and walked away, leaving her parents to process what they’d learned. “She wants a sister?”

“Well, it makes sense. She’s the only child, she gets bored,” Allura pointed out.

“It makes sense, but it’s not… it’s not an option right now. For one, the pain was unreal. Having Lance leave all the time made me anxious beyond belief. And having to leave behind two kids? To protect two children from all of this?” Keith shook his head and rubbed his face. “This is just….”

“Really fucked up?” Lance suggested. Keith nodded. “Could we get a moment?” Lance asked the Alteans. They nodded and left. Lance walked over to Keith and ran his hand through Keith’s hair. “Can I ask you something?” Keith hummed. “If there was no war…. Would you want another kid?”

Keith looked up and sighed. “I mean…. Yeah. Yeah, I think so. I love Violet so much, and I know now that I can do this. That we can do this. And we’re married now. I want Violet to be happy more than anything, I’d love to raise her in a family of siblings like you were. But there is a war. And we’re on the frontlines. Every single time we leave, she holds back tears. Each time we come back, I can feel her shaking in my arms. I don’t want to bring another child into this.”

Lance nodded and wrapped his arms around Keith. “I know. Violet happened… out of nowhere. And I know that each time something happens, you feel guilty for bringing her into this kind of life. I can see it in your eyes.”

“I don’t regret having her,” he insisted.

“I didn’t say that,” Lance said gently. “I’m just saying… Violet was a surprise. A new baby… well we’d be prepared. We would plan.” Keith raised an eyebrow. “I just… I don’t know if it’s healthy for her to grow up so isolated. She has no one to interact with besides a handful of adults.”

“A baby shouldn’t be a solution, Lance. It should be… something we just want. Not a suggestion from a six year old or a way to socialize her.” Keith sighed and shook his head. “I just wish this war was over.”

Lance interlaced their fingers. “I know. You’re right. But we need to do something about Violet.” Keith scoffed and looked at the ceiling. What the hell had happened to their lives?

***

In the span of a few weeks, Violet had slowly become slightly withdrawn, quieter. Keith could see it in her eyes; she was upset. She was lonely.

One night when Lance was braiding her hair before they tucked her into bed, Keith sat in front of her and took her hands. “I know you’re sad, buttercup. And I wish I could change that. We’re in a war, and it wouldn’t be safe to have another baby right now.”

“I know, Daddy,” she sighed.

“You know, you’re still lucky. Even without a sibling.” She frowned and looked up at him. Lance’s hands hesitated as his eyes drifted over to Keith. “When I was little, my mom went away. She left me with just my dad. And then I lost him too. I was all alone for a long time. I didn’t have anyone to talk to or play with. I became angry and it became hard for me to talk with people.” Lance snorted, but Keith ignored it. “And then, I went to a school for pilots and I met Uncle Shiro. He became like my big brother. And then he got lost.”

Violet gasped. “Twice,” Lance added. Violet looked between them wide eyed. Keith nodded, confirming it. “Did you know Daddy and I didn’t like each other when we first met?” Violet frowned and tilted her head. “We were always fighting, getting mad at each other, making fun of each other.”

“But it was just because I was so used to being alone,” Keith said. “I was scared that everyone was going to leave me if I let anyone close. I didn’t really know how to love someone or what it was like to be loved.” He tugged lightly on Violet’s hair. “But you have two daddies that love you very much.”

“And aunts and uncles that love playing with you. You know, when you still weren’t born yet, Uncle Hunk said he was going to be your favorite uncle.”

Violet giggled. “And you have a Nino who would do anything to keep you safe.” Keith pinched her cheek playfully and smiled at her. “So… even though we can’t have a big family like Papa, you’re still a very lucky little girl. Because you have people who love you so much and who want to protect you.”

Violet looked down and nodded. “Yeah. I’m lucky.” She pulled herself onto her knees and hugged her fathers in turn. “I love you,” she whispered.

“We love you too, preciosa. Now get into bed and go to sleep.” Lance leaned over and kissed her forehead. Keith followed suit before leaving her room. Lance wrapped an arm around him and sighed. “That was good,” he murmured.

“I thought it would help her to know.” They reached their room and settled in to sleep. Keith like sleeping on his stomach while Lance preferred to sleep on his side. The cuddle days were over. Now it was just a matter of not tossing Lance over the side of the bed for snoring too loud. Still, every morning they managed to wake up with their legs tangled together.

The following day, the team was set out to help a planet that had been nearly completely destroyed by a Galra attack. It was free of any Galra trace, and after the realization that Violet needed to be socialized, Keith was considering taking her with them.

“You want to take Violet onto the planet?” Shiro questioned. He’d decided to vocalize his suggestion while Violet was playing in another room.

“It’s supposed to be safe, right?” Keith pointed out. It was already going against his better judgement. But he couldn’t keep Violet cooped up in the lion castle for another six years. “I want her to see some of the children. Make friends.”

“These families are hurt, Keith. They’ve been attacked. It might be too much for her.”

“Staying in a bunker until we come back isn’t right. This isn’t a fight, she won’t be in danger. If anything happens, I can get her into the lion to keep her safe.” Keith sighed and looked at Lance. “What do you think?”

Lance bit his lip and shrugged. “I want her to experience things. But this might not be the best way to start.”

“If I may,” Coran said, holding a finger up. “Perhaps you’re underestimating young Violet. She knows that we’re at war, she understands quite a lot for a small mind. Why not warn her, take her, and if it’s upsetting, someone brings her back?”

Lance and Keith shared a look, coming to an agreement before taking a deep breath. “Allura, is there any way we can get armor small enough for her?”

She nodded. “I’ll see what I can do.” She excused herself and left the group.

Meanwhile, Keith and Lance went to find Violet. When she saw them, she tilted her head and sighed. “Are you leaving again?”

“Not yet,” Keith murmured. “Come here.” She stood and walked over, looking at them with wide, curious eyes. “We were thinking that maybe you might be old enough to come with us.”

“Really?” she gasped. “Do I get my own lion?”

Lance chuckled and shook his head. “No, there’s only five lions. But before we do take you, we want to explain what things you might see.” She frowned. “Some of it is really scary.”

“Like what?”

“Like… someone crying because someone they love got hurt or died.”

“Or some who are very hurt and scared so they might look scary or say things that can scare you.”

Violet frowned and looked down at her hands. “You know how Uncle Shiro has a robot arm?” Keith asked. She nodded. “Well that’s because something happened to his human arm and it was replaced. Sometimes we see things like that too, but we can’t help them replace it.”

“Some of them could be sick.” Lance pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “It’s things that little kids shouldn’t see.”

“I can do it,” she said. She looked up with a look of determination that mirrored the one Keith was known for. Filled with stubborn certainty and defiance. “I’m brave. I can help them too.”

Keith smiled and pushed her hair back. “I thought you’d say something like that.”

“Well, she is your daughter,” Lance said with a smile.

***

The smallest armor was still about two sizes too big for Violet, but she kept assuring everyone that it was fine, that she could walk and see and everything. The castle ship landed on the planet and the paladins exited. Violet stood between her parents, and looked out with wide eyes.

The planet was a murky green color. Its inhabitants were humanoid, with webbed hands and feet, They were dressed in what looked like plants. There were piles of technology that were steaming, broken. The inhabitants, the Malkae, were laying down in rows of mats. Others were walking among them, distributing salves and wraps. Children were in clusters, some crying, some sleeping, some doing nothing.

At the sight of the paladins, many of the Malkae struggled to sit up and look at them, murmuring in a smooth, melodic language. Keith felt a slight pressure against his leg. He looked down and saw Violet looking at a Melkae child with a missing leg and a wrap around their arm. Keith wondered if she wanted to go back, but before he could lean down to ask, she stepped forward and sat on the ground next to the child.

“Do you speak English? Or Spanish? Or Altean?” The child sat up and looked at her. “I’m Violet. Who are you?”

“Noriu,” he murmured. “I speak your tongue.” Violet smiled. “You’re a paladin?”

Violet looked down at her armor and shook her head. “No. But my daddies are.” She pointed back and Keith smiled, looking at Lance for a second. “They said I could come with them to help today. Do you want help?”

Noriu shook his head. “No. I can’t do anything anymore. I don’t have a leg.”

“You can still do lots of things!” she said. She stood up, lifting one leg and hopped around in a circle. “You can jump everywhere and you’ll have the best balance. Or you can cartwheel. Aunt Pidge taught me how, look.” She lunged forward to do a cartwheel, then toppled halfway through when her helmet slid off. She plopped down on the floor and looked at the Melkae child. Then they both burst into laughter, causing many adults to look over.

Lance pressed a hand to Keith’s arm. “Let’s go help others. She’s okay.”

For a while, the paladins went down the rows, helping with healing or feeding or finding supplies. They were scattered, and Violet often drifted to find them, greeting Melkae as she passed with a shy smile. Children began to flock to her, at least those who could move from their places. And Violet seemed excited at the sight of so many children near her age. They began playing a game, holding hands and twirling in a circle, taking turns turning backwards and giggling. Keith smiled and continued to work on a Melkae woman with a severe wound in her middle.

“She’s yours?” the womn whispered hoarsely. Keith nodded with a timid smile. “She looks like you.”

Keith looked over at Violet, the only child without webbed hands, but she didn’t seem fazed at all. She’d helped Noriu hop over to the group and was telling the others to be careful with his arm. Her hair had frizzed out of her braids and half of her armor had fallen off, leaving her in shorts and her favorite shirt. “Ah, she looks more like her Papa. The paladin in blue.” The woman glanced over at Lance and smiled.

“She looks like both of you.” Keith smiled and tried to clean out her wound. “It’s been a long time since I heard children’s laughter.”

“You don’t have children?” Keith asked gently.

She nodded. “I do.” She gestured. “The one with a limp and the one behind her like a shadow.” Keith looked over and saw the children she was referring to. The oldest had a protective stance in front of the youngest. The youngest looked like a toddler.

“Can I ask you something? As a parent?” She nodded and winced slightly as Keith began bandaging her. “Sorry. Um…. When we had Violet, it was… unexpected. And now that I have her, I love her more than anything. I have no doubt that I would do anything for her. But when I look at the devastation, the length of this war… I wonder…. Sometimes, I think….” Keith sighed and shut his eyes. He looked at Violet and furrowed his eyebrows. “I’m not sure if I did the right thing bringing her into a place filled with violence and war and loneliness. And when I think that… I feel horrible, like-”

The woman put a hand on his and gave him a strained smile, softened by her luminescent eyes. “You can’t shield children from everything. You didn’t do a bad thing by giving her life. You did something… wonderful. For you, for those around you. Look.” Keith looked at where she pointed. Violet was sitting with the children in front of a Melkae who was animatedly performing tricks for them. “She’s brought joy to Melkae who haven’t smiled in deca-phoebs. She’s given you reason to fight. Reason to be strong. She’s given you strength.”

Keith looked at his daughter and thought back to the day he’d found out he was pregnant. How appalled he was, how terrified, how angry he’d felt. He remembered the day he felt her kick, the day she was born and the day she called for him for the first time. How every single one of those moments gave him a break from the terror of war and made every fight worth it. He had been reckless before, quick to act and attack. Now, he was smarter. He had a reason to stay alive, to get back in one piece. He’d felt love in ways he’d never thought possible with Lance and his space family and of course Violet. All that love had given him strength and reason to not give up in this fight.

“I was afraid when I knew I’d have another child. She’s only two deca-phoebs. I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to protect her. If I could protect them both.” Keith looked over at the children and saw that Violet was next to Hunk as he worked on making a make-shift crutch for one of the elderly Melkae. When he was done, he handed it to Violet who raced to give it to the one who needed it and smiled brightly, speaking what must have been encouragements. He looked at the other children and saw the two that belonged to the woman together, the small one clinging to the older one’s back like a koala. “But now, I know they protect each other. They have each other. They can play together when they’re scared, and they give me hope. And even if something happens to me, I know they’ll have each other.” Keith bit his lip and looked at the children. “Children bring hope for peace in the future, paladin. Perhaps your daughter will be the one who finds an end to this war. Or perhaps she’ll pave the way for it. Don’t feel guilty for not being able to control what happens in the universe.”

Keith looked back at her and nodded. “Thank you. You should rest. Your wound will take time to heal.” He stood and smiled before leaving her to tend to others.

When the light of day was fading, the paladins began making in large portions to distribute among the Melkae. Violet was walking with a smaller child and Noriu, talking and laughing. When most of the rubble had been cleared and the food distributed, Lance went to get Violet so the team could get back to the castle.

The entire day, Keith had been thinking about what the Melkae woman said. He hadn’t known her name, but what she’d said soothed him. He felt calmer somehow.

When they put her to bed, Lance kissed her forehead and smiled. “You did really good today, pequena. Made a lot of them smile.”

Violet smiled. “I made friends. I hope I see them again.” She looked down, and Keith tried not to show shock at her words. “Goodnight, Papi. Goodnight, Daddy.”

“Goodnight, buttercup. I love you.” They shut the door to the room and walked back to the room. Lance took Keith’s hand, the silence settling comfortably. They often needed that after long days like the one they’d had. When they got to their room and settled in for bed, Keith stared at the ceiling.

Lance’s hand slipped into his. “You okay, mi amor?” Keith nodded slowly. “What are you thinking?”

Keith took a deep breath and squinted at the ceiling. His thoughts raced, making calculations, plans, moral decisions in the span of five long ticks. “I’m thinking…. I want another baby.”

Lance sat up in bed, gasping a “What?” so loud he started choking on air. Keith sat up in shock and leaned over him, waiting on him to catch his breath. Lance finally relaxed and took a breath. “Are… are you serious? What about… everything you said before? How much danger and-”

“I know,” Keith said. “But really…. Danger is everywhere, and we can only protect Violet so much. I do want another kid, Lance. I wouldn’t even hesitate if we weren’t paladins because being a dad… feels great. I thought being a pilot was all I could ever want, but… I was wrong. And I was only scared because I didn’t know what that meant for everything, but you’re right, we can plan, we know what to expect. Violet can have the sibling she wants just like she would if things were normal. And it wouldn’t be a solution to a problem, it’d be… an additional thing to give us strength and hope.” Lance put a hand against his cheek and furrowed his eyebrows. “What?”

“Are you sure about this? About having another?” Keith nodded slowly. “A hundred percent? A hundred and twenty percent?”

“Yes, Lance,” Keith chuckled. “I mean it. I want to.”

“Well then, we’d better get started!” Lance tackled Keith onto the bed and kissed him, with Keith laughing against his mouth, teasing insults swallowed by Lance’s lips.

Before Keith could even stop laughing, they heard a knock. Keith stood and let the door slide open, revealing Violet with a stuffed purple lion Allura had found for her. She looked nervous. “Can I sleep with you?” she whispered.

“What’s wrong, buttercup? We just put you to bed.” Violet hesitated, and when Keith knelt down to be at eye-level with her, he saw her tears brimming in her eyes. “Violet?”

She sniffed and looked at him. “I’m just sad,” she whimpered. “I made friends, and I might not see them, and so many people were sad and I don’t want them to get sad again, and I know I’m supposed to be brave so I can go with you but I can’t help it, Daddy.” Keith felt his heart break in two and he pulled her into his arms, shushing her gently.

“Hey, it’s okay. It’s okay, shh.” He lifted her and took her to the bed, where Lance scooted over to make room for her, eyebrows furrowed with worry. “Being brave doesn’t mean you don’t cry. And just because you cry, that doesn’t mean we won’t take you again. You did a good job out there today.” Keith ran his hand through her curls and laid beside her. “It’s okay to be sad. I know it’s scary. And you’re just a little girl.”

Lance wrapped his arm around her and pulled her in close. “We’re very proud of you, you know?” he whispered to her. Violet wiped her eyes and hugged her lion closer. “You can cry if you want. You might feel better. And we’ll have you in a Papa Sandwich.” Lance threw his arms over her and onto Keith. Keith mirrored it, encasing their daughter between them. She laughed, and then her laughter turned into soft, shaky cries.

It hurt Keith’s heart to listen to her cries, but Lance was right. Maybe she needed to be able to cry instead of pushing it down. Hadn’t he learned that the hard way? Violet remained between her parents, hugging her stuffed lion tightly with one hand, the other holding onto her fathers’ arms. She shook slightly, crying softly. Then Keith heard Lance’s voice begin to sing a lullaby softly, raspy, and tired, but soothing and melodious. It was the lullaby he would sing to her when Keith was pregnant and for the first year when he put her to sleep.

Before long, all three of them were asleep.

***

It was their fifth anniversary. Lance had managed to get Hunk and Pidge to watch Violet for the night so he could celebrate with Keith. There wasn’t much to do to celebrate in space, but Lance knew that Keith liked to look out at the stars from the highest peak of the castle. And he took him there each year.

Keith loved being able to feel safe and calm for those moments when he could feel Lance’s presence beside him and had an endless expanse of stars and galaxies to mesmerize him. He intertwined his hand in Lance’s and sighed. “I love you,” he whispered.

Lance leaned over and kissed his cheek. “I love you too.”

Keith looked at him and smiled, wondering how he could feel so at peace with Lance. There was a time when being near him and feeling his blue-eyed gaze on him caused a million butterflies in his stomach and made him blush. That was gone. But it wasn’t a bad thing like Keith thought it would be. Instead, those jitters had been replaced by a level of peace and comfort Keith hadn’t known before. Lance was like an extension of him. Being near him felt like the only right thing in the universe.

“You know, I miss my family a lot. My home. I miss a lot of stuff from Earth. But after all this time…. It feels like I found a home in you,” Lance murmured, caressing Keith’s cheek. Keith leaned into his hand and kept his eyes on Lance. Home. That was the word. He felt like home. “We made our own family.”

Keith smiled and pressed his forehead against his. “You gave me a family,” he whispered. He leaned in and kissed him lightly.

Lance hummed and pulled Keith onto him as he laid back. “I can give you something else too, if you want,” he smirked.

Keith groaned and pulled himself up. He glared at Lance who was looking at him smugly as his hands ran up Keith’s sides. “God, you’re lucky you’re cute,” Keith grumbled, leaning down to kiss him. Lance chuckled and tangled his fingers in Keith’s hair.

Amidst soft laughter, gentle murmurs, and sweet nothings, clothes were discarded and Lance was touching Keith in ways that made him squirm and gasp and moan. He never did know what changes his body made. He never wanted to know, he just knew Lance didn’t mind and liked to make him feel good through said changes. But ever since Violet, Keith hadn’t let Lance top again, for fear of another pregnancy and lack of contraceptives.

Now, he was suddenly remembering how mush-brained he’d been those first few times. His toes curled and they were only beginning. Lance liked to be slow about their lovemaking, admiring and kissing and marking every part of Keith he could before really getting anywhere. Long, warm fingers traced over his skin in feather-light touches, his lips planted wet kisses over his stomach and shoulders. Lance lifted himself up, looking Keith in his eyes as he pushed in. He watched as Keith’s mouth fell open, his eyes rolled back, and his eyebrows furrowed. He lifted his head like a reflex before letting it fall back and letting out soft whimpers.

“You okay?” Lance whispered.

Keith nodded and moaned, gripping his arms. “Forgot… how good… a-ah.” Lance smiled and leaned down to kiss his neck, thrusting in and out slowly, drawing out beautiful sounds from Keith. Before long, Keith was pushing his heels into Lance’s back, whining softly. “More,” he breathed. “Harder. Faster.” Lance nodded, kissing him desperately as he complied. Keith bite onto his lip, gasping for air as Lance made his body spark with need and want and fire.

He wrapped his arms around Lance’s shoulders, holding onto him as Lance pushed into him, rocking their bodies. With each thrust, a small moaning mewl escaped Keith’s lips and a low, husky grunt escaped Lance’s. Keith slid one hand to Lance’s cheek and looked at his face. “You’re so beautiful,” he breathed before a gasping moan slipped through.

“Keith,” Lance breathed. “I’m… I’m close.” Keith nodded and pulled him closer, using his feet to push Lance’s body into him. Lance grunted and gasped for breath, and Keith felt him finish in him, felt the warmth filling him and heard it as Lance continued through it. Lance’s hand slipped down and Keith arched his back, losing focus for a moment as Lance touched him. Lance pulled out and scrambled down, tongue licking upwards and it was that which sent Keith over the edge with a muffled yelp. “Happy anniversary, my love.”

“Happy anniversary,” Keith murmured, shutting his eyes tiredly, hands roaming Lance’s warm body. He kissed his sweaty forehead and looked at the expanse of stars again, wondering how he’d gotten so lucky.

“Unless we want someone to find us up here, we should get dressed and go back to our room,” Lance whispered, running his lips back and forth along his jaw. “We can go again.” He kissed the spot under his ear. “And again.” He kissed the sharp curve of his jawbone. “And again.” He kissed his neck. Keith sighed and ran his hand through Lance’s soft curls.

He smiled as Lance’s tongue swirled against his neck. “It’s hard to think that there was a time we weren’t this in love. This inseparable.”

“That we were rivals?”

Keith scoffed and looked at Lance, running his hand along the stubble on his cheek. “We were never rivals,” he whispered. “You put that in your own head. I teased you because you teased me. You seemed to love upsetting me.” Lance snorted and intertwined their hands. “I love you.”

“Te amo con todo mi corazón, mi vida.” Keith smiled at the Spanish he’d slowly begun to understand.

That night, between sleepy murmurs and tired laughter and lazy kisses, their room had been filled with sounds of love and want and desire. Even after five years of marriage, everything always felt new and beautiful.

***

Two months had passed. Violet was almost seven. Keith didn’t feel any nausea or feel any different. He wasn’t sure how he was supposed to know whether he was pregnant or not. He wasn’t sure how to know when he could.

“Are you okay?” Hunk asked Keith one day while they were training. Hunk had gotten significantly better over the years and provided a challenge for Keith because he was stronger while Keith was lither. Keith grunted and kept fighting. Hunk gripped the staff he was using and yanked it away. “I’m serious dude. You’ve been acting weird.”

“I’m fine,” he breathed. “Really. Nothing different.” Nothing at all. Hunk looked at him with wide brown eyes, expectant and waiting. Keith sighed and took his staff back, leaning against it. “We’re trying to get pregnant and… it’s not working so I’m a little stressed.”

Hunk blinked a few times, mouth opening and closing like a fish. “Um…. Wait, really?” Keith nodded. “I mean… that’s great, you know, but… why? I mean with how much you worry about Violet and the fighting and-”

“I know,” he nodded. “I do want another. I love being a dad. And I was scared about all of that but then…. I don’t know it just… seems right. Violet would have someone to grow with, we-I would have more reason to fight, more reason to be happy, and hopeful. And Violet really wants a sibling. I saw how she was with the Melkae children. She’d be such a good sister.”

Hunk smiled and nodded. “Well if it’s what you both really want. Maybe Pidge or Allura can look into the biology more and help you out.” Keith bit his lip and nodded. “Come on, buddy.” He put a hand on his shoulder and took him out of the training room.

Later, Keith found himself in the lab again while Pidge researched and Allura looked back at the records from when Keith had been pregnant with Violet. He felt self-conscious sitting there with EKG stickers on his abdomen.

“There aren’t any signs of a current pregnancy,” Hunk murmured, looking at the screen, unconsciously piling the scattered notes Pidge was making. Keith clenched his jaw and tried not to show that the words didn’t bother him.

Something about it hurt. What if he could only have one child? What if something was wrong with him and he couldn’t have another? Keith felt his throat close up and he looked down at the stickers and wires on his stomach.

“How long did you say you’ve been trying?” Pidge asked, pulling her hair up into a ponytail. She liked keeping it short, but it was longer than it was when they first met.

“About two months. I got nausea after two weeks with Violet, which is the only reason I know it’s not working.” He sighed and scratched his neck. “This is ridiculous. I didn’t want a kid when I got pregnant. Now that I want one, I c-can’t-” He shut his eyes and swallowed hard.

Pidge took his hand and squeezed. “Relax. Your body is obviously still capable. We just have to figure out the Galra pattern. It’s obviously not the same as a human’s.” Pidge bit down on her pencil moved next to Hunk to look over all the notes. They talked softly, consulting in voices Keith couldn’t hear.

Allura walked over to him. “Look what I found,” she said, holding a few papers. She handed them to him and leaned against the cot.

Keith looked at the papers and smiled to himself. “They’re like ultrasound pictures,” he whispered. He looked at the first scan he’d ever had during his pregnancy. The one that had sent him into panicked hysterics. He flipped through the pictures, watching as his daughter grew and grew and grew. And then there was a picture of the day she was born. Small, fragile, bundled in a blanket. “Wow. We were just kids,” he murmured, looking at his and Lance’s faces. Free of facial hair, with the smooth edges of youth, free of battle scars.

“You never told me what changed your mind in the beginning.” Keith hummed and gave Allura a questioning look. “About Violet. You seemed… so certain you didn’t want to go through with it, and then suddenly you did.”

“Oh,” he said, taking a deep breath. “Well…. A lot of things, I guess. I was scared because I was embarrassed. I’m a guy, and I was young. It felt vulnerable and I didn’t think I could do it. I thought I’d be a horrible dad, and… honestly part of me thought Lance would go away one day. Everyone always did before.” He looked down at the picture of him holding his newborn daughter with Lance leaning over him, giving him a fond look. “Once I woke up to Lance talking to my stomach. He was talking quietly, I guess to not wake me up. Something about the way he talked to her… with so much hope and happiness…. He had so much faith that everything would be okay. And he called her our baby. I guess that’s when it became tangible for me. She would always be something that united us. I was still scared, but… not for me anymore, you know?” He looked up at Allura and chuckled. “I’m so happy I didn’t make that decision. My little girl….” He chuckled and thought back fondly of those first few months when he was able to hold her in his arms. “I love her so much. It’s a level of love I didn’t think possible. Endless, limitless. Infinite.” Allura smiled and leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulders.

Pidge returned to Keith, her hair unruly, half out of her ponytail like she’d run her hands through it way too many times. “There’s not enough on Galra. A lot of records are gone, and it’s hard to have a big enough sample to average out the time of ovulation, so to speak. It’s not necessarily the same thing for Galra, much less the males, plus you’re only part Galra. There’s too many factors and too many blanks for us to even get a guess on how it works. We’ll keep searching, but right now my only suggestion is to keep trying and we’ll keep scanning and testing you.”

Keith furrowed his eyebrows and shut his eyes. “What we can say,” Hunk added, “is that you’re definitely able to still. There’s nothing in your body that’s prohibiting you from being able to bear a child again.”

He nodded and removed the stickers on his stomach, put his shirt back on, and smiled at his friends. “Thanks for this, guys. I appreciate it. Allura, could you keep these safe for me?” He handed the pictures back to Allura and left the room.

He returned to his own and found Lance and Violet on the floor, Violet in his lap as he played a game on the phone Pidge had made him so he would stop stealing hers. He looked up when Keith came in and smiled. “Hey, baby. Where’ve you been?”

“Lab. Researching. How long have you been playing?” Violet peeked up at Lance and Lance looked down at Violet. “That look tells me the answer is something like, ‘too long.’”

“Daddy, can we go to the training room again?” Violet asked, scrambling off of Lance. “I want Papi to see me fight the robots.”

“You hurt your hand the last time we used the robots.”

“But I didn’t cry,” she said. She looked at him pleadingly, batting her lashes, her large purple eyes looking like something out of a cartoon. “Ple-ease?”

Keith sighed and smiled at her, nodding. He was weak for puppy-dog faces, and both his husband and his daughter loved exploiting that. Violet cheered and hauled Lance up, dragging them both out the door and to the training room.

A while back, with Pidge’s help, Keith made a special training sequence level for Violet that would be simple for her age. They moved slower, attacked with simple taps instead full-blown hits, and Pidge had managed to make the system call out encouragements as well. She’d only hurt her hand because she gripped her staff wrong and hit the metal. She’d yelped and dropped her staff, gritting her teeth. But she hadn’t cried. Keith really did have a habit of underestimating her.

“Papi, you have to watch me the whole time,” she insisted. Lance chuckled and sat on the floor. Keith sat beside him and nodded at Violet, who stepped out to the center of the mat. “Begin training sequence CS1!”

“CS1?” Lance whispered.

“Child-safety level one,” Keith answered. Lance nodded and smiled.

The robots started for her at a walking pace. Above them, a robotic voice said, “Get ready. Keep your stance. Stay focused. You’ve got this.”

Violet’s eyes narrowed, and she used her staff to sweep the legs out from under one robot, ran across the room to another, knocking its weapon- which only shot out beams of light, not actual lasers- out of its hand and shoving it back with one end. Lance whistled and nudged Keith gently. “She reminds me of you when you train.” Keith smiled and watched as Violet ran to each slow-moving robot, moving with her staff like he’d taught her.

“End of training sequence CS1. Great job!” the voice above complimented.

Violet scampered over to her parents and smiled proudly. “That was awesome, princesita! You did great!” Violet smiled wider, blushing slightly. “You know what you showed those robots?”

Then she lifted one hand over her head the other across her chest, and wiggled her fingers. “Razzle-dazzle!” Keith nearly choked.

Lance whooped and pulled her into a hug. “That’s my girl!”

Keith groaned and hid his face. “You showed her that?” Lance grinned and planted a kiss on her cheek as she laughed. Keith really did love his curly haired dorks.

***

Lance was optimistic. He kept assuring Keith that they’d get pregnant, and they just had to keep trying. Keith was slowly losing his hope. He was starting to come to terms with the idea of Violet being his only child, of not being able to give her siblings. But it’d been another three months, and Violet was going to turn seven in three weeks.

The most painful part was that every night for the last month, Keith would find himself crying into his pillow because all of their attempts were futile. At those moments, Lance always snaked his arm around him and pulled him against his chest, humming softly in his ear. Sex wasn’t the same simply because they both knew that Keith didn’t believe it would work. And despite Lance’s gentle reassurances, Keith still cried and seemed more aware of his empty abdomen.

Research had gotten nowhere. And Keith found himself in the lab every week or so. Lately though, he felt more like he was just counting down the minutes before he could leave, take a nap, then wake up pretending nothing was wrong. He’d began taking each mission instead of switching out with Shiro, using his frustration in his fighting. The others were aware, but none of them said anything.

It was late, and Keith couldn’t sleep. Lance was snoring beside him, and Keith felt particularly shitty. Lance had tried to make him feel better that evening and all Keith had done was snap at him and push him away. Then they’d both gone through the motions of sex if only to say they were still trying, but it left them both feeling hurt more than anything. He knew this was taking a toll on Lance too. He knew Lance’s hopes were getting crushed each time that monitor showed nothing new. He knew Lance wanted another kid just as much as Keith did.

Keith turned his head and looked at Lance. He’d shaved that day, so he looked younger. Keith reached out and touched a scar that ran down the side of Lance’s right eyebrow to just below his cheekbone. He touched the pale scar under his jaw where he’d dealt with a knife at his throat. Keith remembered feeling so full of rage and fear, it had taken everything in him not to act on impulse and put everyone in danger.

He let out a shaky breath and leaned forward, kissing his husband gently. His lips were unresponsive, but Keith kissed him harder, pulling him in. Lance grunted and Keith moved to his neck, whispering, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I love you.”

Slowly, Lance woke up and with a raspy, confused voice he asked, “Keith, what? What’s wrong?”

Keith shook his head and kissed his lips again. “Nothing. I love you. I’m sorry I’ve been so selfish.” Lance looked at him with his brilliantly blue eyes, furrowing his eyebrows. “I’m not angry with you, but I act like I am, and I’m….” Keith sighed and kissed him lightly again.

“Oh, mi amor. I know you’re not. It’s okay.” Keith shook his head, but Lance stopped him with another kiss, this one longer, sweeter, deeper.

Keith found himself climbing onto Lance, moaning against his mouth. Before he knew it, their clothes were off and he was gasping against Lance’s ear with his arms wrapped over his shoulders as he lifted and lowered his hips onto Lance. This time it wasn’t like before. It wasn’t filled with frustration and half-hearted kisses. It was warm again. It was tender and sweet and wonderful and Keith wanted nothing more than to stay where he was, feeling like his heart would burst with the amount of love he felt for Lance.

Lance’s arms were wrapped around Keith’s middle, supporting him as he bit and sucked at his neck. Keith pulled back and rested his forehead against Lance’s as he moved, their eyes half-lidded and filled with adoration, their breaths warm against the other’s face. Lance leaned into him to plant soft, light kisses on his parted lips a few times before their movements became more erratic, and their breaths lost their rhythm. Lance thrust up with each time Keith let himself push down, and it took sloppy kisses to muffle their moans and groans. Lance moved one hand to wrap around Keith and began to pump, making Keith throw his head back. Suddenly his body felt like every nerve ending was bursting with fireworks and Lance was still pushing into him, kissing him, loving him. Keith whimpered and curled his toes so hard it hurt, but he didn’t care because everything else felt so good.

He felt warmth filling him and Lance’s open mouth was pressed into his collarbone, his breaths quick and shallow against his skin.

“I love you,” Keith breathed, his voice shaking and broken as he searched blindly for Lance’s lips, too tired to open his eyes.

Lance snuggled into his neck and laid Keith down before kissing him and pulling him up against his chest. “I love you more than you can imagine.” Keith smiled and fell asleep without crying.

Three days later, Keith was back in the lab, feeling annoyed but not quite so upset. As the tests were taken, Lance was beside him fidgeting. Allura sighed and shook her head. Then Lance blurted, “What if it’s me?”

Allura and Keith looked at him. “What?”

Lance gulped and bit his lip. “I mean… you keep looking to see if Keith’s body is okay, but…. What if it’s something wrong with me? What if it’s my fault we can’t get pregnant again?” Keith’s lips parted in shock as he registered what Lance was saying. He looked at Allura and saw that she was slowly realizing it was in fact a possibility.

“I supposed we can run some tests on you as well,” she said. “I’m not sure how long the results will take though.”

Lance nodded and kissed Keith’s cheek. “Go back to Violet. I’ll get back to you soon.” Keith nodded, and left, feeling like he wasn’t in his own body. An indefinite amount of time later, Lance returned and took Keith’s hand wordlessly as they settled for lunch. Keith looked at him questioningly, but Lance just squeezed his hands.

Later, when Keith was able to get Lance alone, he searched his eyes, looking for some sign of what his results were. “What happened?” he asked gently.

Lance shook his head. “Nothing yet. Allura said she was going to run a bunch of tests on my blood and well, my semen.” He blushed and rubbed his face. “If it’s me…. God, Keith, I’m so sorry.”

Keith pulled his hands away and kissed the knuckles. “Shh. Don’t do that,” he whispered. He looked him in the eyes and caressed his cheek. “You need to know that no matter what, I won’t blame you or hate you. We already have a beautiful little girl and when I married you, I promised to love you no matter what. If we can’t have another baby, that’s okay. I already have so much more than I deserve with you and Violet in my life.” He kissed him and smiled, wiping away a tear that had slid down Lance’s cheek. “It’s okay. I promise, it’s okay. I love you.” Lance nodded and leaned into him, fighting the guilt that threatened to choke him.

***

A week later, they were back in the lab. Keith was gripping Lance’s hand tightly hoping to reassure him that everything would be absolutely fine. Allura was finishing up her scans and putting together her results for them both. She looked confused, and it wasn’t helping either of their nerves.

She cleared her throat and looked at them. “Um… I’m not sure how you’ll take this,” she said slowly.

Keith felt his breath catch and Lance was shaking beside him. “What is it?” he asked, his voice stronger than he thought it would be. “If we can’t, then just-”

“It’s not that,” Allura interrupted. She furrowed her eyebrows and turned the monitor. Keith stared at it and frowned, trying to understand. It looked different and familiar but strange. He looked at Allura, waiting for an explanation. She chuckled nervously and pointed. “It looks like you’re expecting two children this time.”

Keith felt every ounce of air leave him at once. Lance froze completely beside him. “T-twins?” he asked. “I’m having twins?” Allura nodded slowly and Keith covered his mouth. It seemed like there was always a surprise.

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