#i really didn't think it could go THIS BAD with only 2 episodes left

[baifengxis]

not me every year having a drama on my top 10 list and then after i post the gifset the drama is ruined so bad that i regret putting it like.....please remind me to not put unfinished dramas on my top10 next year

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for telling off my sister about watching a kid's show?

💫 for searching!

I (15F) have an older sister, Penn (17F), who is kinda childish. Actually, she's really smart, and can be mature when she needs to be. It's just that her interests are kinda childish for someone her age.

Penn really likes cartoons and video games, and recently she's been getting into Sonic the Hedgehog. At first I thought she was just getting into the Snapcube fandubs, but out of nowhere I saw her watching one of the new Sonic TV shows, can't remember if it was Sonic Boom or Sonic Prime.

Anyways, at first, this didn't really bother me too much. She watched her show for the weekend, and I would get back to my shows for the next few weeks. But then the next weekend, she was still watching the show. When I asked Penn why, she said that she was really invested, and she hadn't actually finished the show yet. She said she was watching it in increments, because she wanted to savor the episodes, which felt stupid. The writing was obviously meant for kids, and the colors felt really bright and glaring to my eyes. I couldn't believe this was how she was unwinding, or how she could "savor" such a bad show. Plus, I prefer to watch as many episodes as possible in one go rather than in separate goes, but to each their own ig.

Next weekend comes, and guess what? Penn picks up the remote before I can get it, and says she's gonna keep watching some more. At this point, I'm pretty mad. I've been wanting to watch my shows all in one go during the weekends, but have been stuck watching one or two episodes at a time after school each day. So I snapped at her, saying, "Nooo, let's watch my things!"

Penn looked kinda hurt, and when she asked me why I said that in such an annoyed tone, I told her that the show she was watching was cringe and just plain bad. I also said that we never watched my shows anymore, only hers, and that she shouldn't be focusing on kids' media when she has college to focus on soon.

Penn got really mad at me for saying that, telling me that she just wanted to unwind now that the third quarter had ended for her school (our school years are divided into four quarters rather than 2 semesters), and that her homework load was lighter. She also said that she hardly ever uses the TV, and that I wouldn't die if she used it just once. She then left the living room in a huff and went up to her room. This was a day ago, and she hasn't spoken to me since then.

I feel like I was really a justified asshole in this. She's been hogging the TV with the Sonic show, instead of focusing on any of her advanced classes. I guess you guys can decide? It just feels like we're both getting older, and that she needs to stop focusing on such childish things. I think that if I help her get into media that's more aimed for older audiences, it'll help her get into more of a mature mindset.

[rhemaji]

Lil rant abt Caine

Caine is just a lil guy, despite it all. From a design standpoint I thought I was gonna absolutely fucking hate looking at him because those chattering teeth toys make my skin crawl- but the art direction really helps make him look more appealing and whimsical than a disembodied pair of talking dentures sounds on paper.

The thing with Caine is I didn't initially like him that much after the pilot. While his interactions with Bubble were quite funny, that one episode left me feeling like he'd just end up being kinda one note or at the very least one note in a way that'd get on my nerves. Then everything changed when Pomni Wake Up Time to Go On an Adventure! attacked

The comedic timing throughout that announcement video was so fucking funny and thanks to his line deliveries and animation/model [?] upgrades- CAINE LOOKED AND SOUNDED SO ADORABLE!!

Legit it wasn't until this came out that I realized I actually could be on board with Caine as a character and it's been uphill from there. Episode 2 was better than the pilot not only comedically and visually but also in terms of showcasing just how actually unsettling Caine can be as an antagonist. Not because he's vengeful or malicious, but because he's so oblivious to how people work. His mind's always buzzing with terrible ideas and he's so so eager about these adventures, but at the end of the day he really really doesn't get the circus crew. Try as he might to include them, keep them engaged [ZOOBLE WAIT!], or even give them what they want [Exit doors] he doesn't realize how traumatic and distressing their current situation can be. The very nature of being trapped in a digital world is bad enough but it's especially rough here bc not only does its god have limited capabilities, you also are very well acquainted with him, and he can't fully understand your pain nor can he truly save you from it. He won't mourn your abstraction. He will not attend your funeral. He will not understand the distress of your arrival, nor the weight of your departure.

This isn't just sad from the pov of the circus gang, it's also very sad for Caine- not because i think he'll ever feel sad about it himself necessarily, but instead because the situation is sad. New members appear over and over, you craft adventures and games and distractions like [i'm assuming] they'd asked you to, but over and over, one by one, they abstract. They stop laughing at your jokes. They don't like you. They want you to leave them alone. It's confusing and maybe even inconvenient.

Where I'm hoping the series takes Caine is that this dissonance between Caine's intentions and the distress of the circus gang gets worse and worse and worse until something's got to give. I'm hoping that maybe at some point a character will try to sit down and talk with him and for it to either sorta get through to him but completely backfire in some form because he misinterprets what the others want from him OR i'd also be down for him to listen, but not understand any of it and proceed as tho nothing happened. I don't want Caine to come around really, it'd be interesting to see how Goose would go about having him come around to being a better host that empathizes more with humans, but personally I do prefer him to keep on keepin' on being this oblivious and eager antagonist.

My favorite Caine lines/line deliveries so far:

"You, my friend, stumbled into an incredible world of wonders, where anything can happen!…e-except for swearing."

"And here we have THE GROUNDS! Drown yourself in the digital lake, or engage in ridery at the digital carnival!"

"What do you think of XDDCC? You're right, terrible, LET'S TRY THAT AGAIN!"

"Kaufmo abstracted? Why didn't anybody tell me?"

"Bubble you can't say that"

"-ZOOBLE WAIT!"

"Why are you all just standing there?! The- The Canyon- C-Candy Canyon Kingdom needs you now!" [according to his VA, this was an actual line flub but hoo boy am i glad they use it bc it's hilarious]

"I know you guys love your NPCs, but if I start losing track of who's a human and who's an NPC, who knows...what. could. happen..."

That last line there specifically surprised me the most because up until he said that I was under the impression Caine was linked to every single NPC. I even thought he could see through their eyes if he so chose thanks to his "hundreds of all seeing eyes" line in the pilot. Him saying this here implies lots of things. Has Caine forgotten before? Is someone in the circus secretly an NPC ooooooooh~

"Who knows what could happen..."

Honestly, when Caine first said this I did immediately theorize Jax as being an NPC but now that it's been *checks calendar* three months since I watched episode 2, I don't think this is the case anymore. Jax being an NPC would be...something. Jax not knowing he's an NPC would be interesting [i like it when ppl's realities get shattered], but honestly I think this line was a way to telegraph to the audience that no Caine isn't actually all knowing. He didn't know Gummigoo was coming through that portal until he saw him with his own two eyes. My theory is that Caine is only able to teleport, create, censor, transform, and destroy the world around him, but isn't able to see all of it at once unless he tries to. I think Caine's default state is one where he only knows what he sees directly in front of him/what he himself has left waiting for someone else. And rather than implying someone in the gang is an NPC, I think that line in episode 2 was mainly implying Caine can be tricked, that it's possible to hide something from him, to surprise him even. Though I'm not opposed to an NPC we haven't met trying to join under the guise of being human, it'd potentially create some fun tension assuming the audience was given enough reason to care about them.

Jax is actually my favorite character in tadc, but i couldn't fill an entire post with things to say abt him. Caine seems to be- at least as of right now- the easiest of all the characters to try and wrap my head around. I'll probably have a lot more to say about Jax as he exists in canon as the episodes come out [EPISODE 6 MY BELOVED]

but uhhhh yeah, that's all the things i had to say abt Caine. Pls go watch/listen to the fansong Digital Land bye!

[smellslikechahnspirit]

Hi :) I was wondering if you could do a fic or fake texts (your choice) with a s/o who has really bad mental health and gets angry easily which can lead to a manic episode? Like they start screaming or throwing things, it’s okay if not i love your work sm <33

No one asked, but personally, I have BPD and anger issues, so I know what this is like. Sometimes, when I'm in an episode, I pretend Chan helps me out of it, so writing this was great. Thanks for the request! (If you like reading stuff like this, I wrote a book/fanfic called Time Heals Everything. I discuss topics like this plus more. In part 2 of the book, it becomes even more heavy. Maybe check it out? It's on my Masterlist!)

A/N: To anyone reading this, know you're not alone. Try talking to friends about how you feel. It truly can take the pressure off of it sometimes. If you don't want to do that, imagine how Chan (or any SKZ member) would help you through these though times! Delulu is sometimes the solulu. Disclaimer: Not all the time of course. Remind yourself of what's real, and even if you like imagining, acknowledge it's just a cooping mechanism.

Bruises 🕸🤍

[He finds you while having a manic episode]

Bang Chan x Reader

🕸🤍 read guide lines in Masterlist!

THIS IS (OBVIOUSLY) ALL FICTION AND IS FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY! THIS IS MY PERCEPTION OF HOW I THINK SKZ WOULD BEHAVE IN SITUATIONS LIKE THIS AKA, NOT REAL.

[4:10 PM]

Work was too much today. You were so pissed off at litterly everything. It's like you were cursed or something. Nothing seemed to work out. You decided to go home early; told your boss you were sick.

When u got home you felt empty. Suddenly the hectic environment was the complete opposite. Silence. No one was home. As suppose to normal I guess since your boyfriend wouldn't be home for a while either way. But this peace, this nothingness...it was nice but...it gave u space to think. Maybe a little too much space to think. You started spiralling. Overthinking about complete nonsense.

A few hours passed by. You sat in the corner of the room next to the couch. You were nearing the end of an episode.

Knees up against your chest. A tear felt from your numb expressionless face. Staring blankly ahead. Your eyes were bloodshot due to crying so much. You got so angry at yourself in these last few hours, you needed relief, so you...hit yourself.

You promised you'd call Chris if your episodes got bad, but you simply didn't feel like it.

It wasn't too bad this time, really, just a few tiny bruises appeared on your thighs...oh fuck. Maybe it was worse then you thought. Hopefully they wouldn't get even more visible...

[10:33 PM]

"Honey I'm home!", Chris yelled. Dropping his bag, throwing his zip-up hoodie on the chair and tossing his keys on the table. Not getting a response made him wonder if you maybe just went to sleep already. But you would've left the lights on for him, like you always do. No, something was definitely off.

The curtains were still open. The only light coming through was from the moon. It was raining, and that was the only sound he heard. Just the heavy drops pouring on the glass.

Shaking off some of the water still on his hair, he walked over to the couch. His heart stopped for a second, finally noticing you.

"Baby, what are you- are you okay?". Sitting down next to you trying to make sense of the situation that had seemed to come out of nowhere to him. "Baby please answer me? Did something happen?".

You loved him for his protectiveness and how much he loved and cared for you...but you simply couldn't handle anything right now. "Please just leave me alone for a bit Chris.", you said soflty, staring at the wet window, avoiding eye contact at all cost.

"Alone? You think I can let you alone when you're like this? That wouldn't feel right baby, you know I can't do that. You are my everything...", he said. "Just please, leave me for a bit.", you said again with an undertone of violence this time but still soft.

"Y/n...come on let me hel-", he said while pulling your arm a bit trying to lift you up from the cold floor. "I SAID LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE, GOD FOR FUCK SAKES HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO ASK YOU?", you yelled out fully fuming with anger, despite his 'good heartedness'.

He was shocked. Not knowing why you were suddenly screaming at him. "Don't yell y/n...", he said as he got up and took a step back. "Look if you want space, I'll give it to you, but at least let me know why. Did I do something wrong? Are you mad at me?", he asked calmly trying to calm you down also. That didn't work though, he only made it worse.

"NOT EVERYTHING IS ALWAYS ABOUT YOU GOSH, UHG.", you said without even thinking. At this point you were just yelling out mean things you didn't even mean. "I GET IT, YOUR PERFECT LITTLE LIFE HAS A FLAW IN IT, AKA ME, WELL SORRY OKAY!".

He just stood there mind blown at the irrelevant statements that were thrown at him all of a sudden. Staying silent, trying not to yell back. Then out of no where it hit him...maybe you were having an episode? You hadn't had one in a good few weeks. But lately he has been a little MIA, so he maybe didn't notice as much...

"Baby, listen to me. You're having an episode, I get it. I will just let you be for a bit, to calm yourself down. I'll be in my room if you're ready, okay?", he said, trying to give you time to breath and slow your heart rate back down.

"NO, YOU'RE NOT HEARING ME! MAYBE THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT.", you yelled again. Then throwing your glass of water onto the wall right next to him.

He dodged the glass just in time. Both of you completely shocked at what just happened. You instantly came to your senses, hoping he wasn't hurt.

"Baby baby baby, no no, I'm so sorry I didn't mean to do that, I'm so sorry...fuck", you said as you ran towards him, checking if he was truly okay. He stayed quiet for the first few seconds, still processing your previous actions.

"I'm fine...but you're not baby. These anger issues...they're getting out of hand. You need help.", he said squeezing your hand. He knew you didn't mean to hurt him, or say all those things before. But he knew he needed to act fast.

"I know you don't want help, but this can be dangerous if untreated." You nodded. Crying due to the shock of almost injuring him. You would've never forgiven yourself for that. "I know...but I don't want to talk to other people about my issues.", you said to him as you closed your eyes for a few seconds, scared of letting other people in.

"I understand. Why not talk to me then huh? Even if it's hard?", he suggested. You nodded in agreement again. "No y/n, I mean it. Last time you also said you'd call me, but you never do. You gotta talk to me sweets, just try. Not just for me, but for yourself. If you don't, I'll have to call the doctors.", he said scaring you off a little, just to point out how serious he was. "No! I don't need them. I'll call you, I promise!".

He looked at you trying to figure out the amount of truth behind your words. "Hmhm, okay then. Promise.", he said, holding out his pinkie so you could swear on it. Reaching out your hand to complete the promise he noticed...some red marks on you knuckles.

Taking your hand in his, studying the spots. "What happend?", he asked with angry eyes. Just because he was worried as fuck about you, again. "I...a few hours ago I....". Without finishing you sentence you looked down at your legs.

He followed your gaze and crouched down to his knees. Taking in this new sight as a tear slipped from his waterline. "Y/n.", not even being able to finish what he was gonna say. His hand gliding over your bruises. A sudden hiss from you and he was back on his feet, so he could face you again.

"I don't think I have another choice, but to call someone about this baby, this is far beyond getting out of hand." You took his face in your hands. "But you promised...", you replied, not seeming to understand the worry you give him by doing these things.

"I can't watch you do this to yourself and not help you for real. How about...we just call for one session? I'll go with you. Maybe we could just ask for medication? Please Y/n, for me? It's gonna be fine. Just one session, and maybe some pills will help you with your extreme mood swings. All I want is for you to be safe.", he spoke.

You gave him a nod again. Both exhausted from previous events, now falling in each others arms.

"Okay."

...Masterlist...

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☁︎

© 2022-2025, smellslikechahnspirit • No posting on other sites or platforms, rewrites, or translations

[respectthepetty]

Pit Babe 2 really makes me feel like I'm watching a Thai version of The Traitors, and with only four episodes left, I'm losing my mind.

Tony - How many times has he died and brought himself back to life? How many times have any of them died, and he brought them back? I'm so much more scared of him this season.

Winner - Is that his actual name? I have never spelled some of these character's actual names. Either way, we already know he is a baddie. Next.

Willy - What if he is the only real baddie this season, and suspecting someone else from the team only feeds into Tony's plan to take them down?

Charlie - He couldn't possibly be the traitor. He is too busy screwing Babe and trying to save everyone. Next.

Babe - Even though the trailer showed Babe going to talk to Tony, he can't be a traitor. Why would he do all this to hurt himself? Unless . . . Babe didn't think it would get this far. But that is season six thinking, not season two. Unless . . . could Babe not know he is doing it? The announcement trailer showed him dreaming about Tony and following him so is that how Willy knew where Charlie is because Tony is connected to Babe somehow? No! NO!

Dean - Too easy. It can't be him because he was the traitor last season. Unless . . . that's what would make him the perfect traitor this season because none of us would expect a double from him.

Chris - Another one that is too easy. Unless . . . that's why he looks like Way (BECAUSE HE IS WAY?!), so we wouldn't think he would be the baddie, again.

Alan - The show better not hurt me like this! Ripping my heart out of my chest would be kinder than Alan being the traitor. But how did Willy know Charlie was at the lab? Which brings me back to Chris, but it can't be him. Unless . . . we blame everything on Chris so my man can be free of these allegations.

Pete - He was also in the lab, and he always knows where Charlie is and seems to comfortable sleeping with Chris because he knows Chris isn't the traitor (because he himself is the traitor), but it can't be him. He is good. In fact, he is too good. And he has those horns in his apartment, which connects him to Tony, but . . . nah. Unless . . . that's why Tony let Kenta go because he knew he'd go to Pete. No! No? NO! Damnit! eeeee, he's good. He's good. Final answer. He's, good, ish.

Kenta - Shut the fuck up. Never. Not ever. Next.

Kim - I'll fight anyone who thinks my baby boy is the traitor. In my Ken from KinnPorsche voice, "Are you fucking dumb, bro?!" GTFOH with that mess. Next!

Jeff - As much as I did not trust him in the first season, I cannot believe I trust him more than I trust Alan right now. This hurts me. It's not him, and it could never be him. But, God, please don't let it be Alan either because I WILL DIE!

North - Who suspects him? I know I don't! But maybe I should. I originally suspected him when the trailer was released, but I've been taking it too easy on him all season. Was he making new friends while Sonic was gone? And he got a spot racing once shit starting going down. Plus, he doesn't seemed too concerned with the everything exploding all of the time. I'm just joking! There is no way it could be him. Unless . . .

Sonic - It's not looking too good for him, but I will feel really bad if it isn't him because I have been dragging his name through the mud all season. But who else could it be? North? Chris? Dean? ALAN? BARBIE?!! If Sonic would just quit being so sus I wouldn't be going this hard for him, but . . . IT BETTER BE HIM because I cannot handle if it's Pete, Alan, or even North, but if it's not him, I'm sorry.

And it sure as fuck better not be Babe because I will be livid!

I feel sick!

[kings-highway]

Okay small break from my usual haikyuu posting so that I can get disgustingly sentimental and sappy in honour of hitting a milestone number of subscribers on Ao3. Because I am bad at responding to comments, and even worse at responding to asks here, I wanted to take a moment to be a bit sincere.

The first is the obvious thank you. I cannot believe anyone willingly subscribes to receive that many emails a week let alone so many of you, but sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

The second thing is just to talk about what this means to me. I was not... Well liked, growing up. That's not to say I was hated, I often described myself as being so irrelevant that bullies weren't interested in me. There had to be something to bully and hate, and there was simply nothing about me that one could feel anything about.

I've always been big into fandom. I would rewatch every season of doctor who on loop, playing my favourite episodes until I knew them by memory. I would write fanfiction, crossover fanfiction, draw fanart. Tried to spread my art, tried to share my writing. Stared at the fan pages and roleplay forums and fic links and wanted in. I wanted to play too. I have always felt irrelevant, but a big part of that was never knowing how to talk to people. I never liked things the "right" way, and even now, I'm scared to "fangirl" in the way so many people do. I don't know how to be excited about something, I want so badly to be in in this community but I'm so terrified of making a social faux pas that I can't make the first move.

I want to squeal and shout and hold hands and bounce around excitedly and talk about everything I love about my favourite characters until the sun comes up but it's just not in my nature to behave that way. I am not that person.

But what I can do is write. I had a lot of writer friends growing up, but I use the word "friend"* loosely. I think, for the most part, they did mean well, but I fucked that up somehow. Well, I say "somehow," I know exactly what I did wrong, I just corrected my issues too late to save anything.

And I'm going to be honest, I couldn't tell you why I decided to start writing haikyuu fanfiction after about 8 years since I'd written fanfiction and 3 (at the time) since I'd finished any other project. It was a deviation for sure and I was only like 2 or 3 seasons in at the time. I didn't know the characters very well and I didn't have any reason to think anyone would care, but I posted that stupid story after covid had ruined all our lives and people just... Talked to me. I mean I didn't talk back, they left comments and I hid under the bed like a feral cat in terror because I didn't know what else to do. It is not an understatement to say that I didn't have any friends at the time. There were people I could have reached out to, but nobody that I saw on a regular basis. I had only just recently met the person who would become by best friend and roommate and we wouldn't start hanging out for a year or so. My best friend from high school had recently unfollowed me on instagram. But strangers on the internet were reading my work. And nobody had ever really done that before.

I had said that I've never really known how to engage in a fandom, and I still don't. I don't think I really know how to engage with friends, either. I think my brain is stuck in a permanent state of shame and anxiety, and expressing myself is simply not an option for me. Not authentically. But I can love through my writing, I can show you how much I love this stupid show, and I can show you how much I love getting to be a part of this fandom because for the first time it feels like I'm a part of things, instead of just watching from the outside. And for the first time, it feels like everyone is okay with that. Like you've all held my hands really gently, walked me into the community and allowed me to participate in the way that is natural for me. Allowed me to feel relevant because you understood my writing, or connected to it, or saw something interesting - for whatever reason. Left comments overflowing with kindness, send me DMs or Asks with sentiments so honouring I didn't know what to do with myself.

And I hope you've all forgiven me for not always replying. For staying quiet, for keeping my head down.

So when I say thank you, I really do mean it. Thank you for reading, thank you for leaving comments even when I don't reply, thank you for sending asks I never get around to answering. Thank you for giving me a place that feels like I am a part of things, rather than just a visitor. Thank you for putting up with so many emails a week.

Thanks.

[kinardsevan]

I’ve just seen season 8 finale and I have to say I’m suprised about them not making any reference about Bucktommy after their helicopter cute scene.

What do you think is going to happen between Buck and Tommy next season? Nothing, only closure or reconciliation?

Thanks a lot!!

yeahhhhh I had mad opinions about that, esp when I'd travelled 2000 miles to watch the finale with my favorite person and we didn't get to see Tommy at all.

so here's my stance in it all:

I know there's rumors that Lou filmed stuff that got cut. There was also the general groundwork that was laid all season that really suggested we were moving in the direction of reconciliation. Now, going into hiatus, anything is always possible. we could come back in the fall and TM & Co. could decide they don't care about anything they've done with Buck for the past two seasons. (the fact that we have him on record with interviewers during THIS SEASON'S upfronts talking about Tommy would concern me, but I'm not the boss).

as angry as I was about the fact that there was nothing in the finale (not even a wordless scene of them meeting for coffee, ala Buck & Ali in season 2), I also felt like OS might've had a hand in that. we're to understand (to this point) from way we've all analyzed this relationship, that Tommy is the person who shows up for Evan. he takes the calls, he brings the helicopter, he even cries for him. we know this because we've seen it. however, there's an importance in the argument that Oliver made about the fact that whatever happens should be birthed out of something organic, and not grief. if (and I'm assuming this is the case) PK really isn't coming back, then by that measure, we need to let Evan be on solid ground of some kind. I absolutely did not enjoy that this was where the finale left us. the episode, I agree, was not that bad, but it left so many things untethered (and it seems that was intentional), bucktommy included.

so, if we had gotten them in the finale, I think quite honestly, they woudl've probably thrown us exactly what we expected, because that's what the entire season set us up for. "I love you", possibly even some version of "move in with me". and like... I WANT THAT SO DESPERATELY. But also.... I don't want it because Bobby died, esp when the show isn't laying in the ground work with 816 and 17 to show that Tommy is there through the grief of it all. (I mean he is, but not in the ways we wanted). Maddie's comment in 816 about saying "I love you" more often was important. I think we'll likely still see that play out in 9A. I also think there's an importance what saying those word for Evan & Tommy is. Lord knows as a fandom, we've all written a million different ways for how they get there. to that end, with my face slamming repeatedly into the keyboard, I have to admit that not doing it in s8 on the heels of Bobby's death was a smart decision.

coming back in s9, even though we, the fandom, have to wait months, makes far more sense. the gain of not having Tommy in the finale is that we haven't suggested any change for he and Evan since the end of 815, where their feelings were made obvious. these two people love each other, even if they can't get their shit together. let's reconvene in s9 and hit the ground running there, when Bobby's death feels less like a wrecking ball through the wall, and has at least started to scab over some. when minds are clearer, and hearts aren't as heavy.

in a perfec world (the inside of my head), we come back in 901 with everyone heading off to work. we see Evan gather up his things, head out from his new place, and we work through our emergency. maybe we even see Tommy on a call or two, and we play around with the awkwardness and cheesy smiles these little shits like to give one another. and then we circle back in 903 to everyone going home, and we see Evan, exhausted, trudging into his house and dropping his things. there's a million ways to play this. maybe he goes to the kitchen. maybe he crawls right into bed. maybe he drops on the couch.

but you get either him or Tommy coming around the corner, asking if he's hungry. drop in a little forehead kiss, a coffee (or wine) slid across the counter, and close scene.

spend all of 9A leaving not just us, but all of the cast wondering how the hell they ended up moving in together/back together, without it ever being mentioned. Evan just left Maddie's one day and never came back/said he found a new place. then it's dealer's choice as to how we got to where we are (and maybe we FINALLY get a bucktommy disaster in the 9A finale), where you can really play up how we got there. shit, you could even drag out the I Love You to that long if you really wanted to.

I'm just saying. that's how I would do it 🤣

[eviemonroeer]

The Monroe Effect: Chapter 5

Set during Season 5, Episode 6 of ER. Spoilers if you haven't seen the show. I really like this episode, so I hope you do too.

Warnings: drug and alcohol mention

WC: 2 k

ER story belongs to original creators, just adding on my own original charter.

Taglist: @pleasecallmeunhinged, @rainmg, @arigoldsblog, @queenslandlover-93, @hagarsays, and @antisocialfiore

Main Story: prev | next

Snapshots: prev | next

 

            I honestly wasn’t shocked when Carter told me he got fired from his RA job. Two med students overdosing on your watch definitely felt like grounds for dismissal. What I didn’t really expect was having to get to his dorm at the crack of dawn so he could move out before our shift started. And it was a rainy day, which added to the misery of the whole situation. Not wanting to get soaked, I took a cab instead of the train, and arrived at the dorms by 5:30 AM. Way too early in my opinion.

              “How do you have so much stuff?” I asked, taping up another box. “I thought boys didn’t hoard like we did.” 

              “I honestly don’t know. I didn’t think I had this much stuff when I moved out.”

              “Speaking of moving out, do you know where you are going to stay until you find a place?”

              “I mean I guess a hotel. There is no way I’m not going back to my grandparents’ house.”

              “If you need, you can stay with me. I have another room.”

              “Evie I couldn’t do that. I’m not gonna invade your space.”

              “Why not? I know the room’s not big, but it’s free.”

              Carter sighed and thought for a minute. “I mean, if you’re offering.”

              “I am.”

              “Okay. Yes, I would appreciate it if I could stay at your apartment only until I find a place."

              “Great. We can take some of your stuff over there before we go to work.”               “Can’t wait for the sleepover.” Carter joked and picked up a couple boxes. He opened the door, and I heard an ‘Oh, Dr. Carter. I didn’t think you’d be up yet.’ Must be Lucy. “Hi Evie.” Yep, definitely was her. 

              “Hi Lucy.” I waved and kept packing. I moved to the next drawer and was greeting by Carter’s boxer collection. I slowly closed it back up. I should probably let him handle that.

              “I left you a note. Um, I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am that you lost your RA job because of the Halloween disaster.” 

              “Me too.”

              “And, um, I was wondering if you thought it might help if I wrote the dean a letter.”

              Carter had been moving finished boxes out to the hall the whole time she was talking. “Thanks, but I think you’ve done enough already.”

              “Or at least, I could help you pack. I’m not on until 7:00.” 

              “I think Evie and I can manage. Thanks though.” 

              “Where are you even going to l—” 

              “Lucy, we’ve got it.” He said with a firm tone. The young blonde nodded and walked away. I felt bad for her, I really did. Carter had been such a jerk to her lately. It was like he was taking the Peter Benton approach, but a little too extreme. As if reading my mind, he turned to me with a raised eyebrow. "What?"

"Nothing." I said with a shrug, continuing to fold clothes. "I didn't say anything."

       

        “Okay. ‘Cat-lover seeks like-minded roommate?” I read from the newspaper. I had been reading him roommate and rental ads since we left my apartment to head to work.

              “Forget it.” Carter scoffed as we walked into the ER.

              “Would you consider joining a communal vegetarian household?” He laughed. “Alright. Here’s one. Uh, ‘Furnished apartment in old town home, access to full kitchen, many amenities.’” 

              “That sounds promising.”

              “Yeah, and it’s actually not too far from here. It’s been a while, but do you want me to call the realtor who helped me get my apartment and get you an appointment to see the place?” 

              “Yeah, that would be great. You know, thanks for helping you out with all of this. I owe you big time.” 

              “And lunch today will just be the tip of the iceberg.” 

              “Anything at Doc Magoo’s is yours.” 

              “How fancy?” I joked as we walked into the lounge. 

              The rest of the day was steady, one of those busy in a good way days. It made the time go by quick. I got Carter an appointment to look at that apartment after work and with the rain clearing up, he got me a burger and fries from across the street as step one of his thank you. I dealt mainly with “normal” cases today, until a big and pretty weird one came in: two brothers were stuck to their truck seat by carpet glue and in turn, stuck together. I had prepped the trauma room the best I could ahead of time, but how do you prepare for something you’ve never seen before and something so random as this. 

              “Malik, get some monitors on him.” Mark instructed as we got them on the gurney, the taffy like substance baffling and annoying us all.

              “How?”

              “Get a tongue depressor.” Weaver ordered. “See if you can scrape off a few spots. 

              “Why did Eddie stop talking?” The brother asked. 

              “Hold still.” I said as Weaver examined them. 

              “If you move another inch, you could kill him.” She added. 

              “Pulse ox is falling.”

              “Stand by with intubation.” Mark warned. I nodded, handing him the mask and bag and started prepping the necessary equipment.

              “Wow.” Carter chuckled as he and Lucy came in.  

              “I’m covering for Dr. Benton.” This time it was Elizabeth, putting on her gown as she walked it. “Need a consult?” 

              “We’ve got an impalement.” Mark told her. “Watch out for the glue.” 

              “Lucy, have you intubated?” Weaver asked. 

              “No, but I’d like to.” 

              “Uh, pretty tough intubation.” Carter said hesitantly. 

              “Yeah, let’s find out. Carter, you’ll talk her through it.” 

              “Great.” I handed Lucy the laryngoscope. 

              “Uh, runs of PVCs when he’s jostled. Probably from the impaled tool against the heart. Carter, get the crash cart.” 

              “Uh, Lydia?” He asked, glue covering his hands. 

              “On it.” 

              “Thank you.” 

              “Malik, we need a Sauer Bruch cutter down here as fast as you can.” 

              “Carter, I need you to come over here and carefully pull Marcus away so that Lucy has room to intubate.” 

              Carter did as Mark said, and they slightly pulled the two apart. “Watch your beard.” I said, noticing how close his face was getting to the stuff. 

              “I know." He said to me. "Can you get in there?” He asked Lucy as she began. 

              “Yeah, just a little more.” 

              “Lydia grab the camera and snap some pictures. New policy everyone, we’re documenting our interesting traumas. Take her through it Carter.” 

              “Alright, now pass the tube.” He said and motioned me over. I handed her the tube, and she stuck it into the man’s mouth. “Not too far. Alright, take out the scope, pull the stylet.” She passed it back to me. 

              “I’m in I think.”     

              “Good job.”

              “Let’s call respiratory for a vent.”

              “I heard good breath sound.” 

              The monitors started going off. “He’s in SVT.”

              “We need to shock him.” 

              “Not while they’re attached. Try six of Adenocard.”

              “Please save my brother.”

              “Carter, let go.” 

              “Ah-h, I’m stuck.”  

              “Charging, 200.” 

              “I told you to be careful.” I said as I walked up behind him. I grabbed a hold of Carter and pulled. He wouldn’t budge. I tried again and this time, with Mark pulling on Elizabeth on the other side, I managed to get him and the guy he was stuck to off the bed before they shocked the patient. 

“Are you okay?” Carter asked as I pushed off of him and stood. 

“Yeah, are you?” 

He nodded slightly; his beard still stuck. They wheeled the bed out of the trauma room, going up to the OR. “Still want pictures?” Lydia asked, holding the camera. 

“Why not?” Weaver offered. 

Mark circled around over to us. “Carter, you alright?” 

“Yeah, I think so.” 

“Thank you for saving my brother.” 

“Just doing our job.” Mark pulled out a pair of trauma shears. “We need to extricate Dr. Carter.” He handed them to me. “Evie, why don’t you start with his beard.” 

             I thought back this morning and smiled. “Actually, I have a patient I need to check in on.” I turned. “Lucy, why don’t you have the honors.” I looked back at Carter who was giving me a death glare. But I just smiled and removed my trauma gown and gloves before heading back out on the floor, leaving Lucy to mangle him however she chose.

              I knocked on the men’s locker room door. “Carter? You in there?” 

              “Yeah, it’s just me.” 

              I nodded and walked in not prepared for what I was going to see. He had changed clothes, but he was missing a large, scraggly chunk of hair on the right side of his face. I started laughing and shook my head. “Oh, now this is great.” 

              “Ha-ha, laugh it up. This is your fault.”

              “Oh, come on Dr. Carter. It’s a teaching hospital. Lucy needs to learn.” 

              “Yeah, but not on my face.” He went to reach for the electric razor, but his grimaced and groaned. “How is this crap still on my hands? I scrubbed them twice. I got PTSD to my surgical internship."

              “Need some help?” I asked. “You’ve got to get to your viewing appointment.” 

              “I don’t know if I trust you with my face either.” 

              “Alright then. But when you get stuck to your razor, don’t come crying to me.” I turned and started walking for the door. 

              “Fine.” He huffed. “Just hurry.” He held out the clippers and I happily took it. I hopped onto the counter and positioned myself in front of him. “You know I’ve always wanted to do this. Mainly to see how many different kinds of facial hair styles I could make.” 

              “I don’t want to leave anything. Just shave it all off.” He said as I turned the electric razor on. “Have you done this before?” 

              “Not on someone. But I have had a couple ex’s show me what to do. I think I got the gist.”

I cut down the length of his beard with the electric razor until it was short and clean. “Okay, wet your face with warm water.” As he did, I got a razor, some shaving cream, and a towel. I took the shaving cream and rubbed it all over his cheeks, his chin, under his nose, and even his neck. A little got on his lip and he blew it at he, causing me to shriek. The door to the bathroom opened as I began shaving. 

              “There you are.” Lucy told Carter. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you. What happened with Brad?” 

              “His mom took him home. She decided not to risk it.” 

              “I’m sorry to hear that.” 

              “Me too.”

              “I wouldn’t have asked so many questions if you had told me what you were doing.”

              “Well, I’m sorry that you thought it was your business to ask me.” My eyebrows shot up a little, but I stayed quiet, tapping the razor in the sink and moving back up to his face. 

              “What’s going to happen?” 

              “He’s gonna die.” And with that, he went from looking at Lucy in the mirror to looking at me. Neither of them said anything else and she left the bathroom. 

              “What was that about?” I asked, carefully. 

              “I’ll tell you about it tonight. Let’s just get this done.”

              I nodded and continued my work, trying to be as thorough, but careful as possible. When it got to his upper lip, he took over after I tried and failed to convince him to keep it. 

              “Hey.” I called out as the apartment door opened and Carter walked in. I shut my book and sat it beside me, bringing my knees to my chest. “How did it go?” 

              “Uh, I had drinks with Dr. Weaver.” He informed, removing his jacket. 

              “I’m sorry, what?” I exclaimed. “I thought you were going to look at an apartment.” 

              “I did. Turns out its in Weaver’s basement.” 

              “Really? How weird?” He nodded as he sat beside me. “How was it?” 

              “It was alright. A decent space, nothing special.” 

              “Not the apartment, her house! Is it as dark and depressing as you would think?”

              Carter laughed. “It was actually pretty nice. Not what I expected.” 

              “Huh. Well, is she renting you the apartment?”               “Yeah. I can even start moving in tomorrow. Rent is cheap. The only other thing is I have to do yard work and other stuff around the house she can’t handle.” 

              “That’s great. I guess tonight will just be a sleepover then.” 

              “Well, what should we do? Pillow fights or paint our nails?” 

              “Or we can talk about the boys we think are cute.” 

              “That sounds like so much fun.” Carter said with exaggerated excitement. I scoffed and grabbed the couch cushion, flinging it around and catching him in the face. He was shocked, his eyes wide and mouth open. “Oh, now you did it.” 

              The apartment was filled with our laughter as we started pelting each other with pillows. 

[slaaverin]

OK, let's keep the discussion going.

Here's one aspect of AYS I haven't seen anyone specifically discuss yet: JK's mood bordered on being downright testy at times. Jimin called him out on it in Connecticut, Jeju and Sapporo even though it wasn't readily obvious to the viewer that he was in fact cranky, so it seemed maybe most of it was cut out by editing.

The one that shocked me the most was after the water pistol battle where Jimin was supposedly getting even with him and Tae after they squirted him mercilessly when he wasn't feeling well. They didn't really show what happened but Jimin all of a sudden apparently became the bad guy and Jungkook was saying "I'm furious!" wtf?? Dying to know the real story there!

Followed by when JK made his meal and invited the staff, who don't immediately come, then Tae said they should hurry up and eat before they get an earful from JK. And Jimin follows up saying JK is scary when he's angry (so they should comply). All in good fun... except when taken together with previous signs of cranky.

He chewed out Tae over nothing, menaced Jimin with chopsticks over nothing, my boy was so stressed!

In Sapporo, Jimin flat out asks him why he's so angry these days, and JK says he's just pretending for the show. Do we believe him? Would Jimin really not know if he was genuinely cranky?

Thoughts?

Ahhh anon I get where you're coming from but my perception of all of this was not really cut through, I think there is nuance to all of it so I can't make the definitive statement that Jungkook was "cranky" during AYS.

I felt him a little unsettled in CT at first, but I think it's because he was sick, because he was unsure about what would be the show, because he had missed Jimin a lot so he still had the frustration from the month before and also because he was just coming out from a very stressful schedule.

But it was only in the beginning afterwards it got easier.

In Jeju Jungkook was on edge for different reasons. In the first episode it seemed he felt left out from Jimin and Tae, which was not what he wanted for this trip. I'm speculating but I think they must have had a talk with Jimin because in episode 2 they had that conversation with Tae to remind him he was a guest and afterwards things were more smooth and jikook got more time together which seemed to ease a little bit of the tension. During the water fight there was this hidden bathroom where we couldn't see in and I think something happened in there that wasn't showed. His "I'm furious" was for fun. I just think Jimin pulled out one of his slytherin trick off camera.

Honestly I think JK is simply being his baby alpha self, he's always been this way.

In Sapporo it was just for fun. I think he believes him playing the baby alpha is entertaining for us.

So yes, I saw the tension at times, but it was not the generality either. I found Jungkook pretty at ease and relaxed and enjoying the moment too.

But many factors came into play.

They were also so close to military service and this could stress out anybody.

This plus his schedule plus the desire to spend real quality time with Jimin plus the "I want to be entertaining enough for the show, I want it to be a good show" so mostly he was just playing.

It's also in his character to be assertive and sometimes a little bit dominant but since we never really followed him over that long period of time interacting with other people it comes as a shock but if you looked at him closely over the years there always was little comments here and there about this part of his personality.

Of course here it's a bit blown out of proportion but I personally didn't find any of this very shocking.

If he was a bit on edge he had good reasons every time, it was not over nothing, and the other times it was for fun.

I enjoyed immensely Jungkook showing his authentic self during the show, he was chatty, he was excited, he was smiling a lot, he was still his protector self towards Jimin and having loads of fun with him.

So to be those parts where there was tension was not what I took out from the show from him.

Despite those little moments he was really, really happy and it showed that those trips meant a lot to him. "They're the best trips I ever had in my life"

I think he really enjoyed all of it, so those little moments are for me only a second thoughts because I think it doesn't really matter. That's not what he took from it. He didn't see any of it as bad, so neither should we I believe.

I think his baby alpha self is a charm of his personality. Jimin lets him because Jimin enjoys it a lot, it makes him laugh, it makes him blush, it's all a fun flirty game and it's not that serious.

Jimin didn't seem that fazed over his antics. He played along.

I think overall Jungkook was his sweet self and it was really a joy to watch.

But of course that's only my thoughts and opinion 😌

Thank you for your ask and take care anon 💜

[coraniaid]

Not going to tag this as part of the ongoing Buffy group rewatch because it's only very tangentially related to the episode we're watching this week, but -- partly inspired by @badwolfwho1's thoughts on that episode --here are five ways Amy might have become a witch between her sole Season 1 appearance in Witch and her sole Season 2 appearance in Bewitched, Bothered & Bewildered.

1) Amy gets roped into the school talent show by Principal Snyder, just like Buffy and the others do in canon. She can't sing or dance or play a musical instrument, so what is she going to do? It's when she's going through her mom's old things that were left behind in the attic one afternoon -- I'm not sure what the legal status of her house is, with her mother missing and presumed dead, but I bet it takes a while to figure it all out -- that it occurs to her that she could do a little bit of genuine magic and pass it off as a harmless illusion. Her mom did plenty of magic while in her body, after all, so surely it can't be that hard? It sounds a little reckless, sure, but it beats being made to look like a untalented loser in front of the whole school. But what will her act be? Maybe she could figure out a way to make a rabbit really appear out of a hat? Or turn somebody in the audience, or even herself, into a rabbit? Or failing that, some other animal that starts with the letter R? How dangerous could that be, after all. What's the worst that could happen?

2) Amy gets caught up in the collective nightmares of ... uh, Nightmares. Specifically, she's haunted by visions of Catherine Madison, back from the dead (or from wherever Amy thinks she ended up) and looking for revenge. She dreams that her mother takes control of her body again, only this time they don't exactly switch. Amy is trapped in her body, a passive observer, while Catherine puppets her body around, destroying her relationship with her father and her friends and using her as nothing but weapon to seek revenge on the people Catherine believes wronged her. And the worst part is that Amy can't speak or signal or shout out a warning to anyone, and Catherine never reveals herself to anyone but her, so everyone Amy cares about believes that she's the person responsible for all their misery and misfortune. When the nightmares are over, she knows this was a wake-up call. Next time her mom comes back -- and she will, surely, come back -- Amy won't be so lucky: it won't just be a dream that time. She needs to prepare; she has to be ready. Like Buffy said about her this episode, she needs to become a witch to survive her mother.

3) On a whim, Amy dresses up like a witch in Season 2's Halloween after being volunteered by Snyder into escorting a group of kids as they go trick-or-treating. Afterwards she's not really sure why she did it. And maybe it's a little bit in bad taste, but ... well, it's been months since anyone saw or heard anything of Catherine or any other witch. Amy's safe. She knows that, most of the time. Maybe it would be good for her to try to face her fears. She was going to dress up using some of her mother's old magical supplies as props, but luckily she doesn't need to do that. Her friend Michael tells her about a great new costume store called Ethan's that just opened up...

And afterwards, when it's all over, Amy -- just like Xander -- finds she still has the memories of the person she was briefly turned into. She knows how to do magic now. Real magic. Better, in some ways, she thinks, than Catherine ever could. She's not planning on following in her mother's footsteps at first, but ... well, she didn't ever get around to reading the book for Ms. Beakman's class, the paper's due tomorrow, and her dad would be so disappointed in her if she failed ...

4) Soon after the events of Witch, Amy becomes part of the official group of people who know about Buffy being a vampire slayer, partly at Willow's urging (she points out to Buffy it's not fair not to warn Amy about vampires and that she already knows about Buffy's super-strength and magic and everything). Amy quickly becomes a key part of the group. She figures out Xander is possessed early on (because she knows what it means when a Sunnydale student starts acting strangely and cutting off ties with their old friends) and helps save Herbert the Pig and turn all the Hyena-possessed kids back to normal. She helps Giles and Ms. Calendar bind Moloch and save Willow. She hangs out with Buffy and they bond over their shared experiences of parental divorces and of living with a single parent who often needs to be away from home working. She's in the library with the others when Buffy kills the Master and saves the world, and later she's kidnapped by the Anointed One along with Cordelia and Ms Calendar.

And, over the summer, at first under Ms. Calendar's careful instruction and then more and more on their own, she and Willow starting learning magic together. It's Amy's idea, at least at first, but Willow is soon really into it. Buffy and Ms Calendar just chalk this down to Willow's usual academic drive, but Amy figures out the truth. Yes, Willow puts up a brave front, but deep down she's still heartbroken about not being able to save Jesse last year. Maybe she can hide it from the others, but she can't hide it from her old childhood friend Amy. Jesse was Willow's friend, and she couldn't help him. But maybe, with magic, she still has a chance.

Willow increasingly becomes obsessed with using magic to try to bring Jesse back to life. Jesse's death wasn't natural, Willow insists to Amy. It wasn't fair. Maybe she finds out about the spell Wolfram & Hart use (in canon) to bring Darla back to life. Maybe she finds Giles' books of black magic, or finds out about the ritual she'll later (in canon) push Dawn towards when Joyce dies. Either way, she's going to do it, just as soon as she gets powerful enough. Amy's sure that this is a bad idea, but she doesn't know how to talk her friend out of it. Even when Willow starts hanging out with a creepy warlock called Rack from the bad part of town. Even after Amy finds her reading books about ritual sacrifices and forbidden old magicks and sharpening knives.

It's only when Ms. Calendar dies -- murdered by Angelus, who lost his soul and didn't want it back -- right before Amy was about to confide in her about Willow, that things change for good. It's only after Willow starts talking about bringing Ms Calendar back too, and making everyone who hurt her suffer, and her eyes and her hair start turning black, that Amy decides to do something. She can't convince Willow to change her mind with words, but maybe there's something else she can do. Maybe she can change her mind more directly. Maybe. if she resorts to a little dark magic of her own, she can make Willow forget all about Jesse. Make it so she never started down this path at all. Make it so that Willow -- and everybody else -- had forgotten all about Jesse the minute he died.

One night, alone in her room, the same night she knows Willow is heading to the cemetery to try to resurrect Jenny Calendar, Amy does it. It takes everything she has, it's harder than she thought anything could be, but she's able to save her friend from herself. Able to reach back in time and change everything. She falls asleep, exhausted, knowing that her spell worked just the way she wanted...

... and is very surprised to wake up the next day, firmly back on the outside of the group, with none of the others remembering she ever was one of the Slayerettes. Of course, in this new reality, Willow never missed Jesse. She didn't remember him; she had no subconscious urge to replace him. It had always just been her and Xander, right from the start. So she didn't have the same motivation to get back in contact with another old childhood friend, she didn't ever push Buffy to let Amy join the gang, and none of the last few months happened the way Amy remembered it. She can still do magic, she still knows who Rack is, but now there's nothing in her history that can possibly explain why.

Amy tells herself that that's okay. That Willow's better off that way. That everyone is.

And being able to do magic when nobody else can will come in handy. Amy becomes sure of that when she gets sent to the Principal's office because, apparently, in this reality -- without Willow's help -- she's not been keeping up with her classes. Only, wait. Who's this new guy? What happened to Principal Flutie?

5) The writers needed somebody to be a witch in order to kick start the main action of this episode, half-remembered the plot of Season 1's Witch and thought "wait, Amy's a witch, right? why can't we bring her back?". When they realized their error it was too late to make any real changes to the script except to throw in a couple of lines about how Amy's mother "is" (not "was", interestingly) a witch too and hope nobody asked any awkward questions. Not a very funny answer but I think this is quite probably what actually happened.

[airenyah]

A LOOK AT STYLE'S JOURNEY | Ep 9

(Overview | Ep1+2 | Ep3 | Ep4 | Ep5 | Ep6 | Ep7 | Ep8 | Ep10 | Ep11 | Ep12)

Yeah, I don't really have any introductory words to say on this one except... ENJOY <3

Pronoun situation: As usual, just assume Fadel and Style use the rude pronouns guu/mueng with each other unless I specify otherwise.

To recap: On their road trip through the country, Fadel and Style ran into an interesting pair and got involved in their (pre-)marital dispute. Style finally figures out what exactly Fadel is mad about and makes him a promise.

No. 1: A Stylish Death

Once more, Style and Fadel are on the road. Fadel finally took Style's advice from the end of episode 7 to heart and is currently taking a nap on the backseat of the car instead of threatening Style non-stop. Style turns his head to check on him, then shakes his head and looks back to the road, his expression amused. It's my personal headcanon that he finds it just as funny and ridiculous (affectionate) how bad of a kidnapper Fadel is as we the fandom do. What kidnapper just sleeps peacefully while letting their victim drive them around in a car without supervision? Speaking of headcanons, you know how there's been talk about where exactly Style got the sunglasses from all of a sudden? My mom suggested that they could be Bison's and that they just happened to lie around in the car, but it's my headcanon that Style actually nicked them from Jimmy and Popcorn's house. He probably found the glasses somewhere around the house and charmed the two of them into giving them to him before he and Fadel left.

Anyway, the radio cuts out and Style ends up finding a photo of some mysterious guy in the glove compartment in search of CDs. To be honest, I don't think Style is all that jealous in this moment (I think he'd know if there was a love rival he needed to worry about, I think he can read Fadel well enough by now), but I do think he's very confused and intrigued. Because Fadel did tell him four episodes ago that he didn't have any past lovers. And only the night before (I assume) they had a chat in which Style mentions that he doesn't know Fadel's past. And I think Style wants to know. About Fadel's past and now about the guy in the photo specifically, because that guy is likely connected to Fadel's past, too. Which Style wants to know about.

But right in that moment, Fadel wakes up. Style quickly throws the photo back into the compartment, slams it shut and immediately ropes Fadel into a conversation so that Fadel doesn't even have the time to ask what Style was doing in case he saw anything. Fadel starts telling Style about Bison's parents' island and house and Style hopes his best friend is still alive. The only thing Fadel has to say about that is: "I can’t guarantee that. You’ll have to find out for yourself." That's not a very reassuring answer. "Can’t you at least lie to make me feel better?" Style asks. Language fun fact, Style's reply actually goes more like:

Can't you give me some hope, please? มึงให้ความหวังกูหน่อยก็ได้ป่ะ [mueng - hâi - kwaam wăng - guu - n��i - gôh dâai - bpà] you - give - hope - me - a little (please) - [particle] - ?

Then Style asks for a quick stop at a clothes store because "I’ve been wearing [your clothes] this whole time, and it’s getting disgusting" and I just love that @panncakes was spot on when they said:

im just saying style is obviously not wearing his own shirt in episode 8 and since fadel had time to prepare for this search mission he obviously brought essentials including spare sets of clothing and baggy black does scream fadel; so im just going to assume fadel has style Who He's Definitely Killing Soon running around in his own clothing because you can't have a dead man running around in day old dirty clothes obviously and not because sharing clothes is becoming their Thing

In a bit we will see that Style actually is wearing a shirt that we've seen Fadel wear before on the show.

They start bickering, because Fadel isn't in the mood to go shopping for clothes, but Style fights for his will by joking about Fadel killing him and going on a very Style-like monologue about wanting to be a good-looking corpse. When he's done monologuing, he turns his head and throws Fadel a side glance to check if it worked.

It did.

No. 2: You Better Run, Better Run, Faster Than His Bullet

It worked. Despite Fadel's reluctance they are now standing in a clothes store on Style's request and that makes 3/3 series that JoongDunk have gone to a clothes store in. I'm starting to wonder if looking at clothes together on camera is in their contracts. Maybe the real sunflowers were the clothes stores we made along the way. (Yes, I am still waiting for a JD sun flower Easter egg. Since sun flowers were such a big thing in both their previous works and their mascot is a sunflower too.) Anyway, so Fadel caved and let Style go shopping for clothes after all, because when does Fadel not give in to Style and Style is hyped. They bicker some more and Style finally calls Fadel out for being a bad kidnapper while at the same time using the opportunity to pointedly call himself Fadel's boyfriend and just as pointedly call Fadel his own boyfriend again as well. Just listen to how much he stresses the word "faen". Actually, let me just share a more literal translation again, because he doesn't just throw around the word "boyfriend" two but three whole times in Thai:

Right now I feel more like a boyfriend. ตอนเนี่ยรู้สึกเหมือน​แฟนมากกว่า [dton nîia - rúu-sèuk - mĕuuan - faen - mâak gwàa] (right) now - feel - like - boyfriend - more Official subs: I feel like a boyfriend. It's/You're like a boyfriend who accompanies his boyfriend while shopping. เหมือนแฟนมาเฝ้าแฟนช้อปปิ้งอ่ะ [mĕuuan - faen - maa - fâo - faen - chóp-bpîng - àh] like - boyfriend - come - watch over, care - boyfriend - shopping - [particle] Official subs: This feels like going shopping with my boyfriend.

(The italicized boyfriends indicate which boyfriends Style pointedly stresses.)

Last episode, Fadel claimed twice that he and Style weren't boyfriends/a couple after Style referred to them as such. Now Style is calling them boyfriends again, but the only thing that Fadel debunks this time around is the claim that Style is his hostage. Fadel doesn't say a single word about them not being boyfriends. He ends his defense by claiming that Style doesn't hold enough value to be exchanged for anything and Style throws him a little nod like Sure Jan whatever you say. 

Fadel continues to say "I'm just letting you find a little joy before I kill you" and that's interesting because:

I'm only letting you be a little happy before you die. กูแค่ให้มึงมีความสุขเล็กๆ น้อย​ๆ​ ก่อนตายเท่านั้นแหละ [guu - kâe - hâi - mueng - mii kwaam-sùk - lék lék nói nói - gòhn - dtaai - tâo nán - làe] I - just - let, give - you - be happy - little, small - before - die - only - [particle]

Let's compare with every other explicit death threat that Fadel has made to Style since he's kidnapped him:

Doesn't matter where [I'm taking you]. You'll be dead anyway. But before I kill you, I have to see my brother.

Once I find him, I'm going to kill you both.

One wrong move, I'm blowing your brain out.

If my car was stolen, not only would I kill you, I'd take a car from your garage.

Just because I let you do this doesn't mean I won't kill you, you know?

Do you see what's different all of a sudden? Yeah, that's right. Fadel threatened Style's life, but he did not say that he would be the one ending it. For once, Fadel did not say that he, Fadel, would be killing Style. The only other time he made a reference about Style being dead rather than him killing Style was the very first time he voiced an explicit death threat and that one was still followed by an "I kill you" in the very next sentence. Now, though? There is no "I (will) kill you" anywhere to be found. It's the same thing a few lines down: "You're going to die soon, what else do you want?" (Btw, I did check the Thai lines in the list above and in Thai he also says that he'll kill Style each time.)

I don't know if Style picks up on that subtle change in phrasing, but he certainly isn't as annoyed by and tired of the death threats anymore as he used to be. Instead, he now deals with them by making light of them, like earlier in the car when he insisted he wanted to be a good-looking corpse and now by asking Fadel to drop his dead body in a beautiful place so that at least his ghost could haunt nice places in nature. And what I love about this is that even though this is clearly meant more like a light-hearted joke, Style still sounds almost kind of genuine in his words. Because Fadel is "serious" about his death threats and so Style will also be serious about his dying wishes. And even though he doesn't believe that Fadel will actually kill him, Style still would rather haunt a beautiful place when he dies (even if it isn't at Fadel's hands). That part is genuine. However, Fadel ain't got no time for this particular wish. And so he threatens Style's life one more time by playing along with Style: "If you don't choose something right now, the only place you're haunting is this damn secondhand store."

Style stares at Fadel for a moment. Message received. It's time for Style to back down from being annoying or else Fadel will really lose his patience. And so Style turns his attention to the clothes rack, but not without showing Fadel how completely and utterly unimpressed he is by Fadel threatening death for the millionth time in the past 3-ish days. Style soon gets distracted from his performance when he notices a nice pair of shorts, which he grabs and then pointedly holds out to Fadel like There. I'm choosing something. Happy now? 

Style seriously starts looking for something to wear after that and he's so focused on the clothes that he misses the way Fadel watches him with the most adoring look in his eyes. Style finds a top he likes and walks off to try it on. When he comes back to ask for Fadel's opinion on his outfit, Fadel points out that Style never really wears stripes:

But I don't really see you wearing striped clothes. แต่กูไม่ค่อยเห็นมึงใส่เสื้อลายทางนะ [dtàe - guu - mâi kôi - hĕn - mueng - sài - sêuua laai taang - ná] but - I - not really - see - you - wear - striped clothes - [particle] Official subs: I never saw you in stripes before.

Just wanted to make a little clarification, because in the subs Fadel actually says "I never saw you in stripes before" when Fadel actually has, in fact, seen Style in stripes. But "not really" and "never" isn't quite the same. In Thai Fadel implies that Style rarely wears stripes, not that he never wears stripes, and I think Style wearing stripes in front of Fadel three times in eight episodes is rare enough to be considered "not really".

Fadel taking note of this fact has Style quite satisfied, because Fadel is clearly paying attention to him. Then Style firmly tells Fadel "You can't kill me. You love me." and this stand-off really reminds me of the one in the storage room in episode 3 when Style tells Fadel "You won't [punch me]. You like me." Except this time Style is even more confident in his words. In fact, he knows he's right, because Fadel has had many perfect opportunities to kill him in the last couple of days, was actually close to killing him a few times and yet Style is still alive and kicking and actively being an annoying little menace in Fadel's life. And he also knows for a fact that Fadel is in love with him. He tested him in the bathtub and got a satisfactory result. Instead of being punched in the gut like last time, Style suddenly finds himself whirled around and on the ground, everything accompanied by the sound of gunshots. 

From one second to the next, Style finds himself worrying about his his life again after he's finally managed to deal with his fear of death triggered by the pool incident. Somehow, Fadel and Style still have the time to bicker while Fadel fires off a few more gunshots and then they run to a different hiding spot. I do love how Style's first instinct the moment Fadel has dropped down on the ground next to him is to reach out to Fadel. And I love how Style doesn't even seem to be thinking about it, he just touches Fadel automatically, his hand seeks out Fadel almost out of reflex.

Fadel realizes he's out of bullets and blames Style who defends himself and then asks how they're gonna fight this guy. And once again we get to see how much of a helper Style is and how much of a need to fix things he has, because he immediately offers himself up as bait to distract the attacker. Fadel hates the idea, but Style insists. He's too helpful for his own good. Style gets in position to run, but turns back to Fadel for a moment when Fadel calls out Style's name a few times. Fadel tilts his head in disapproval like Are you fucking serious right now?! Style nods and blinks at him in a silent answer: Yeah. It'll be fine, don't worry. I got this. Then Style bravely runs off. His need to help overrides his fear of death. 

Turns out Style cannot, in fact, outrun bullets. A bullet grazes him and he goes down. And at this point, let me just leave @secriden's observation here, because it totally hadn't occurred to me and it hurts me, so obviously I need to make it everyone else's problem, too:

[I]it is just deliciously dramatic that Style gets injured precisely dressed in the clothes he'd picked out so he could "at least die in something that's actually my style" and in the place Fadel said Style would haunt only minutes prior.

Fadel finds Style a minute or two later, once he's dealt with the attacker and they're both safe. Style says "It’s just a graze" and "This is nothing" and I'm not sure if he's saying this more to reassure Fadel or to reassure himself. His mouth says one thing, but his face sure says another.

Whatever brave face Style was putting on a moment ago disappears once Fadel starts wrapping his own shirt around Style's injury. Style goes down, clearly in pain. And I'm left wondering... Is that it? Is this why we've been counting Style around guns? Was it foreshadowing to Style getting shot? Only time will tell.

No. 3: Treating the Wounded

Somehow Fadel gets Style onto Bison's island. I wonder how far away they were at the point of Style being shot and how long it took for them to arrive on the island. Style is weak and pale and yet the first and also only thing out of his mouth is "Kant… You're alive. I'm happy to see that". Kant's death is a worry that Style has carried around ever since that morning at the hospital right before Fadel ambushed him and now that I think about it, this worry must have also played a part in Style's fear of and about death last episode. But Kant is alive. His best friend is alive. And that's all that matters through the pain right now.

Kant wants to help but Fadel immediately yells at him to let go of Style the moment Kant grabs Style's arm. I'm sure Style would have been cool with Kant also helping him, but Style currently doesn't have the energy to talk back to Fadel. Fadel continues to lead him towards the house and at one point as they're walking we see Style shut his eyes for a moment in a way that has me wonder if for a second his vision went blurry and/or if he's feeling dizzy from the pain and the shock of the injury:

Once at the house, Bison stitches Style back up while Fadel helps and acts as Style's moral support. I'm not sure how many details of what is happening here will be retained in Style's memory as his brain is certainly too busy with keeping him alive through the pain.

No. 4: Bestie Talk

Style wakes up in a bed and Kant finds him only a minute later with painkillers. Style first voices his relief that he himself didn't die from the shock of the surgery, followed by his relief that Kant isn't a corpse either. Kant's potential death really is something that was weighing him down. But Kant's alive! And he even told Bison about everything! Style can't believe his ears. How in the world is Kant still alive, then? Kant says "He loves me" and Style goes "Ohhhhhhhhh" while I go "The power of love, huh?" and then Style goes "The power of love, alright" and I die of laughter at how predictable Style's words were. Style, believer in the power of love, is very happy that his prediction was right, is very happy for his friend and his happiness. Kant continues "I love him, too. I'll do anything to keep him alive" and Style asks "And how are you going to do that? This mess is getting out of hand. It's not just the cops who are after them, but someone else clearly wants them dead" and it's interesting, because so far in their 1:1 scenes it was always Style being the optimistic one, the hopeful one, the dreamer while Kant kept things realistic and had a more pessimistic outlook on life. This time, though, it's the other way around. This time Style hits Kant with the realism. And it makes sense, because it was also Style who got hit by a real bullet. Style has felt and is actually currently feeling the very real consequences of "I'll do anything to keep him alive". One moment you think you can outrun a bullet, the next you almost die on a make-shift surgery table.

Kant says he doesn't exactly know how he's going to go about it, but that his heart is already in it. Style looks away, clearly thinking about something, then raises his eyebrows and nods.

"My heart is already in this." Style knows. Oh, how well Style knows that feeling. The feeling of wanting to do something, anything in the world for the well-being and safety of your hitman boyfriend. He's been feeling like this for a long time now. If we're being honest, Style has felt like this since all the way back in episode 5 where he told Kant "How would I even get through this? I compromised my whole body, and if we're being honest, I've already compromised half of my heart, too. I'm worried about him now" in that locker room. But back then things were going great for Style. Fadel had finally given him a chance and was happily dating Style while Style was falling in love with him more and more despite knowing his true identity. Back then, things were great. Now, though? Not so much. One moment Fadel threatens him with death, the next moment Fadel saves him from death. Style is happy that everything worked out well for his beloved bestie and his hitman boyfriend, but he himself is quite confused at the mixed signals he's getting from his own hitman: "Meanwhile, my chances are 50-50. He's hot and then cold. He loves me and then he doesn't. I honestly can't keep up with him." And I don't think the 50-50 refers to there being a 50-50 chance on whether Fadel will kill him or not. I think by now everyone and their mother knows that Fadel absolutely cannot bring himself to take Style's life no matter how hard he tries (and how hard he tries to convince himself otherwise) and Style is very much aware of it. He even called Fadel out on it at the store. No, I think the 50-50 is out on whether Fadel will forgive him and whether Fadel is willing to give Style another chance. Style knows Fadel loves him, but is the love he has also enough to let Style in again? Is it enough to put his walls down for Style again? And besides, apart from saving Style's life a few times, ever since Fadel found out the truth Fadel hasn't exactly been treating Style in a way that makes Style feel loved and appreciated while Style has done nothing but show his love and appreciation for Fadel. Fadel hasn't exactly shown that he really cares about Style. Style made it very clear that despite Fadel nearly taking his life at the pool, he still loved Fadel and was even willing to sleep with him anyway and Fadel just handcuffed him to the bed in return and told Style he didn't trust him. Style cried from trauma and the only consolation Fadel gave him was "don't be dramatic" and "I don't wanna listen". Style voiced genuine concerns about being murdered and Fadel came back with approval of Style's murder. Style called them boyfriends and Fadel returns with yet another death threat. Those aren't exactly bright prospects for Style and no matter how much Style stays in good spirits, deep down it's gotta hurt, too. Fadel may love Style enough not to kill him, but does he even care about him at all as well?

But Kant has an outside perspective and sees things that Style doesn't see. And from that perspective it looks like Fadel absolutely does care: "But from what I saw, he had your hands clasped in his so tightly. And the way he looked at you was exactly how I looked at Bison at the hospital." Style looks away again, even more lost in thought this time around as he contemplates Kant's words and thinks about Fadel holding his hand through the surgery as well as his relationship with him. Kant's words should come as good news, but Style still looks rather downhearted.

It may seem a little odd that our usual confident, optimistic, hopeful boy is suddenly discouraged. However, I think it makes sense. Style knows that Fadel loves him, but he hasn't exactly been treating Style in a way that makes Style actually feel that love (not killing Style and saving his life is kind of the bare minimum at this point, let's be real). Not to mention, there are also many things that we, the viewers, see from an outside perspective, but Style himself doesn't see them, like when Fadel nearly reached out to Style when Style was crying, or the look of adoration Fadel was watching Style with at the clothes store, or the concern Fadel showed while Bison was stitching Style up. But for the last incident, there was someone there to witness the outside perspective and finally Style learns how Fadel looks when Style's not looking. And that makes Style think. Fadel does seem to care. And Kant's words also serve to reconfirm that Style is right about Fadel loving him, but is that love enough to make Fadel want to be with Style again? After all, Style still has to work for Fadel's forgiveness. And I think that's why Style ultimately isn't all that convinced by Kant's words, because what good does the knowledge that Fadel loves him do, when there's a chance Fadel still won't take him back? What good does the knowledge that Fadel does care do, when it only happens in moments where Style is missing out on it? When it only happens in moments where that care doesn't properly reach Style?

Kant can tell that his friend is still unhappy, so he changes the topic to something more cheerful: "Thanks, though, for risking your life looking for me." This has Style genuinely laughing again as he says "I don’t need your gratitude." Another interpretation of this line is actually:

No need to get so touching, dude. ไม่ต้องมาซึ้งเลยมึง [mâi dtông - maa - séung - loiie - mueng] no need - come - touching, deep - [particle] - you

I think this is a little more coherent with Kant teasing Style about saying "I love you" afterwards, but that might also just be me. Anyway, Style and Kant bicker a bit and Kant accidentally causes pain to Style's injured arm. When they stop bickering, Style, who is in a bit of a better mood again after feeling a down about Fadel only moments before, now really wants to know alllll the tea he's missed while he was busy surviving the pain of the surgery: "When [Fadel] had my hand in his, how did he look at me?"

Kant goes into a dramatic reenactment for Style until they both break away laughing about how weird the thought of the two of them (Kant and Style) to kiss is. Once they've calmed down, Kant repeats that Fadel is worried about Style. Style smiles to himself, getting lost in thought again. It's still not an entirely happy smile, because Style still has a way to go to earn Fadel's forgiveness and Fadel still needs to make it clear in return that he does care about Style and appreciates him in a way where Style can actually see or feel it, but Style is definitely more hopeful again compared to earlier in the conversation. Maybe there is a chance Fadel is willing to give Style another chance after all. Maybe there really is still hope that Style will get his boyfriend back and that said boyfriend will also start treating him accordingly again. Maybe things aren't so bleak after all.

No. 5: Over My Dead Body

However, things take a dark turn when Style walks in on the love of his life holding his best friend at gunpoint. Style missed the beginning of the confrontation, so technically he doesn't really have context, but he also doesn't really need it, because he knows exactly what grudge Fadel is holding. No need to ask. Besides, the day they were playing with the BB guns Fadel already told Style "Kant has to deal with me. He started all this, after all." And now Fadel is making good on that promise.

But Style has been so worried about Kant's safety for so many episodes already and especially ever since Kant got kidnapped and now that Style's finally got his best friend back, alive, and he is not going to watch his (not-)boyfriend kill him in front of his very own eyes and so he shouts at Fadel not to hurt Kant. However, Kant is ready to accept his fate. But before he dies, Fadel needs to know that Style is innocent: "But Style has nothing to do with this. I lied to get him roped into this." Remember the word หลอก [lòhk] from last episode? Yeah, it makes an appearance again. Just so you know:

I deceived my friend one more time. ผมหลอกเพื่อนผมมาอีกทีนึงอ่ะ [pŏm - lòhk - pêuuan pŏm - maa - ìik tii nueng - àh] I - trick, deceive - my friend - [past tense marker] - one more time again - [particle]

(If you didn't read my ep8 meta: this word means "to trick" or "to deceive" and it came up A LOT during ep8. Lots of tricking and deceiving happening on this show. Who would have thought.)

But Style is not cool with Kant's sacrifice. "Don't you dare take all the credits," Style scolds him. And here, have the Thai version too, because it made me laugh:

Don't be cool all by yourself. มึงอย่าเท่คนเดียวดิวะ [mueng - yàa - têh - kon diieow - dì - wá] you - don't - (be) cool - alone, by yourself - [particle] - [particle]

Style won't let Kant to this alone. If Kant has to die, so does Style. And he makes that very clear to Fadel: "If you're going to kill him, kill me, too." Style's voice sounds angry when he says this and this is interesting, because Style hasn't really been properly angry with Fadel ever since he found himself tied up at the pool. Sure, Style got annoyed and he was even really done with Fadel at some points, but Style was never angry with Fadel, he never held any of what Fadel said or did to him against Fadel. No, instead of getting angry, Style just went with it and often met Fadel with kindness and love instead. But now that his best friend's life is on the line, Style is finally truly angry at Fadel. Fadel can shoot Kant over Style's dead body. And with the many times Fadel has saved Style in the last couple of days, Style knows for a fact that his dead body is not something Fadel can bear to see. Even when Fadel himself is the one who wants Style dead.

Style continues: "Nobody forced me into this. I agreed to it willingly." Style could have gotten out of this mess at any point after he was informed of Fadel's real occupation and of what Kant's real mission was, but Style didn't. Style stayed. And he even stuck to Fadel's side all throughout episode 8 without running away which is something that he did willingly. Not because he was afraid of Fadel's gun. Fadel never really treated Style as an actual hostage apart from that one time he handcuffed Style to the bed and the few times he waved his gun in Style's face. Style had plenty of opportunities to make a run for it, especially when Fadel was napping in the car. But Style chose to stay. Nobody forced him to do anything, not Fadel during their road trip and also not Kant at any time before that. Style went along with everything by his own choice and of his own will. No one's made any decisions for Style. Style also has agency in this game.

Style underlines this point by dropping down on his knees and offering his life by his very own choice. "Don't you have a little sympathy? We've been through all these things together. Why did you bother stitching me up if you're going to end up killing me anyway? Why didn't you just let me die?" Style is still angry, but now his voice sounds more reproachful as well as desperate. Style's hurt is really starting to shine through. He has stuck to Fadel's side with unwavering loyalty these past few days, has shown over and over again that he's serious about Fadel and his feelings for Fadel, he's been nice to Fadel, has helped him, has followed his wishes, has even nearly given his life to protect Fadel in the store. And not a single time has Fadel shown any sign of appreciation or as much as acknowledgment. That hurts. Even more so, when Fadel then goes to murder Style's best friend as a thank you in return for all that Style has done for him. I think when Style asks "Don't you have a little sympathy?" the unspoken question is You don't care about me, despite all that I've willingly done for you? Style's next words are even more loaded: "Why did you bother stitching me up if you're going to end up killing me anyway? Why didn't you just let me die?" This is You do care about me, because if you really did hate me all that much you could have easily let me die back there and finally be rid of me, but you didn't. You couldn't bear to see me die. This is If you care about me and my life this much, then why do you keep treating me so coldly? This is You saved my life and now you're just gonna destroy it immediately after? Are you really this cruel?

As Style is kneeling there, I don't think he is scared for his own life, I don't think he expects Fadel to actually shoot him dead on the spot. I think Style feels fairly safe in this moment, but he is terrified for Kant's life. He knows that Fadel can't bring himself to kill Style, because he loves him too much, but Fadel doesn't feel the same way about Kant. In fact, Fadel feels quite the opposite about Kant. If Fadel kills Kant now, even if he spares Style, Style's life would still be ruined. No matter how much Style insists that he'll like Fadel no matter what, I think if Fadel kills his best friend (or any of Style's loved ones really, like his dad), I think that's the one exception to the rule. I do think they would not be able to come back from that.

This moment here is also the first time Style actually begs Fadel for mercy. Yes, back at the pool he also worked on Fadel not firing that life-ending shot, but back then Style was mostly angry and annoyed and only a little scared. Yes, he did ask Fadel not to kill him, but back then Style was begging for his life, not for mercy. Back then Style didn't ask Fadel to show compassion. But now Style is on his knees, desperately begging Fadel to be merciful, to show compassion, to really think things through. Fadel stares at him.

Fadel may not appreciate the loyalty Style has shown him over the last few days, but Kant very much does appreciate Style's loyalty and voices it, too: "I'm happy to have called you a friend." Style replies "Thank you for making my life such an adventure. It's been so goddamn fun, you know that?" and now tears start falling from his eyes as he's speaking. And what I love about this is despite how Style is crying and despite how upset he is in this moment and despite how terrified he is about their (Kant's) death, for Style his potential goodbye to Kant isn't a tragedy. No, it's a celebration. Style is upset and he is sad and he is desperate and afraid, but he smiles a genuine smile through his tears as he speaks his potential last words that Kant may get to hear from him. It's a celebration of their friendship. Style takes this tragic moment and turns it into a happy one. Because if death is inevitable, he at least wants to spend their (Kant's) dying moment in happiness and with good memories in mind. Kant acknowledges that celebration with a smile and a nod, which Style returns.

But Fadel stays stubborn. "How can we be sure you're not just fooling us again?" Style's smile and brief moment of happiness has disappeared when he replies to Fadel. "You think I'd risk my life for all this if I didn't really have feelings for you?" Style is still firm, but now all the anger from moments before is completely gone. Only hurt and despair is left. Style is asking Fadel All this time you never thought or cared to see my perspective, did you? He's telling Fadel I'm here before you, literally begging you on my knees and you are STILL not willing to believe a single word out of my mouth nor any of my actions. Style may always act like Fadel's continuous stabs at him just bounce right off, but at the end of the day it does hurt him that Fadel keeps pushing him away, keeps refusing to appreciate or at the very least acknowledge Style's genuine sincerity. Style's words are reproachful, like he's asking What else do I still need to do in order to prove to you that I'm being serious, no tricks? How much longer will you disregard my very real feelings? Are you really that stubborn? Is this really the hill you're going to die on?

Now Kant jumps in with a beg of his own to support Style: "People make mistakes. Won't you give me a chance? I really love your brother, and my friend really loves you. The two of us will do anything to make sure the two of you get the life you want." Fadel looks at Style after Kant says "The two of us will do anything to make sure the two of you get the life you want." Style has his eyes fixed on Fadel and despite Style still being tense and his breathing being shaky, the expression on Style's face is firm and determined. Style really meant every single thing he just said or did. And he is especially determined in his decision to die alongside Kant. Style is sending a couple of messages to Fadel here. He's saying Since you're always disregarding my own feelings on this matter anyway it really seems like you don't give a shit about me after all, so killing me in addition to Kant really shouldn't be a problem for you at all, so go on, do it. He's telling him If you kill him, you kill me too. If not physically, then at the very least emotionally. He's asking Won't you finally believe that I'm undoubtedly serious and honest about everything and especially about you?

Style is also observing Fadel, watching Fadel intently to see what he's doing, to see what his next move is going to be. Fadel, who was staring at Style, looks back to Kant, then throws Style another look.

And that's when he makes the decision to not to shoot. To put the gun away, instead. And that decision was without a doubt made for Style, not for Bison. I think Style's words (and especially also the unspoken ones) got to him and more importantly, he got to see Style's loyalty in full action. And that was crucial for Fadel to see, because if Style is this loyal to Kant, then if Style's love for Fadel is true, Fadel can expect the same loyalty from him down the line. In fact, Style actually has shown Fadel the same loyalty all along already, or else he wouldn't have followed Fadel to Bison's island, nor would he have thrown himself in the line of fire at the store to protect Fadel. Although I'm not sure Fadel is really ready to truly look at and acknowledge that in this moment.

Fadel puts the gun down and walks a few steps away. Both Bison and Style rush to Kant to check on him. Once Style has made sure Kant is alright, he looks to Fadel. Fadel is looking at him too.

Then Fadel looks at the rest and asks "Any of you allergic to seafood?" And yes, that comment is funny, but it's funny in a way that in German we call Situationskomik (= situational comedy, comedy of the situation). I really don't think Fadel is making a joke here (like. that is NOT the face of a man who is cracking a joke). No, I think this is a peace offering, actually. It's an unspoken peace offering, because cooking for someone else is a gesture of care. And instead of killing Kant, Fadel offers to cook for everyone which includes Kant.

No. 6: Encouragement

Style on the phone with his dad and I'm relieved, because I'd been worrying about his dad with Style suddenly disappearing just like that without a word. And I'm sooo so glad the series spent a moment on showing us the relationship between Style and his dad again. Like, of course Style is gonna call his dad so that his dad doesn't have to worry. Bison is concerned that Style's dad will be mad if Style shows up back home all banged up like that, but Style is confident he can come up with some superhero story and promises not to spill the beans on Fadel and Bison. Style and Bison have some friendly banter until Bison tells Style that Fadel wants to talk to him and said for Style to meet him at the beach. Style is suddenly worried that Fadel changed his mind and wants to shoot him after all, since Style had already offered as much when he was on his knees earlier that day.

I think we have well-established by now that there is no way Fadel is capable of killing Style, and as I mentioned, I think Style is confident in that, too. So I don't think Style thinks Fadel is actually planning to kill him for real, I think he's mostly just being overdramatic and exaggerating again. Bison then plays along and says "No way. The worst he'd do would be trying to drown you" and when Style blinks at Bison and stares at him in shock I think it's because Style doesn't immediately recognize that this is a joke. After all, he hasn't really spent all that much time with Bison, so he doesn't really know Bison and his humor all that well. So Style stares at Bison with big eyes, then tilts his head and squeezes his eyes a bit, trying to figure out whether Bison is being serious right now and if this is something Fadel would actually do (after all, Bison knows Fadel's killer side a hell of a lot better than Style does) or whether Bison is just joking. Bison notices Style's struggle and clears up that he's just kidding and that Fadel wouldn't do that. But it's already too late. Bison's got Style genuinely concerned now. Fadel has proven over and over again that he won't be shooting Style, but who said anything about drowning Style? It's a possibility that Style had not yet considered.

Bison laughs and asks if Style really does like Fadel. All the fear and worry from a second ago disappears instantly as Style firmly tells him "Whatever Kant feels about you, that's how I feel about your brother. If you understand him, you should be able to understand me." Style fell in love with Fadel in episode 5 and absolutely nothing that has happened since, and especially absolutely nothing that has happened since Fadel drugged him at the hospital has changed any about that. Style chose Fadel at the end of episode 5 and he is still very set on that decision.

Bison advises Style that Style needs to prove his feelings to Fadel and tells Style "He acts all tough and rough on the outside, but on the inside, he’s just a softie". Style laughs. He did get to see that for himself during that short time period where he and Fadel were actually happy in their relationship. Bison continues: "He never hesitates when he kills. So if you're still alive, that means he's got a soft spot for you." Again, I think this is something that Style has absolutely clocked already and even called out (both explicitly at the beginning of the episode when he said "You can't kill me. You love me" as well as implicitly whenever he was teasing Fadel, for example in his hitman-teerak monologue or when he quoted Popcorn's words and went "I deserve to die" and cockily leaned his head back to mimic giving his life over to Fadel), but I also think that it still hits kinda different to hear it from someone who first of all has an outside perspective on things and second of all who knows Fadel's killer side better than anyone, from someone who's seen over and over again what Fadel is like when he's murderous, from someone who can absolutely judge the difference. Which Style can't, because he's never seen Fadel actually kill anyone, even if he got close to witnessing it a few times.

Style had started to get discouraged, because Fadel just wouldn't budge and just wouldn't let Style back in and Style just kept hitting one wall after another. And we can't forget that Style spent a lot of time repeatedly hitting walls for the first four episodes already and even when Fadel let him in, Fadel never let him in 100% (only 80%) and so even then Style still came across walls. And I think on top of being discouraged, Style was also starting to get tired a bit. It must be quite exhausting to be this persistent, let's be real. There is only so much energy you can spend on running after someone who keeps pushing you away again and again and keeps being harsh to you. Fadel hasn't even talked to Style or checked on him since Style woke up after the surgery. As far as we're aware of, the only time they've talked since then was when Style was begging for mercy on his knees. So yeah. That sure is encouraging.

But first with Kant's optimism and now with Bison's support as well, Style is starting to feel like maybe not all is lost after all. Hesitantly, he asks Bison:

You think I still have hope? มึงว่ากูยังมีหวังอยู่ป่ะวะ [mueng - wâa - guu - yang - mii - wăng - yùu - bpà - wá] you - think - I - still - have - hope - [auxiliary verb] - ? - [particle] Official subs: You think… I have a chance?

Style is starting to get his hopes up a little bit again. Maybe Fadel will take him back and be nice to him again. Bison is absolutely convinced: "Go for it. After all you've risked your life for, what else do you even have to be scared of now?" Style looks towards the ground, uncertain. Yeah, what else could he be scared of?

Nothing, except Fadel potentially drowning him in the ocean instead of rejecting him like a normal person. Or, you know, just the rejection in general, even if it doesn't come with murder. Honestly, at this point I think Style is also lowkey nervous, because now he really does have (strong) feelings for Fadel and Fadel being willing to be his boyfriend (again. or still) matters more than anything this time around. What will Style do if Fadel rejects him again?

Bison taps his shoulder encouragingly and walks off. Style stays back, thinking everything over.

How is he going to proceed from here? Is he going to try yet again and risk running into another wall as always? Or is he just gonna let it go and finally leave Fadel alone?

No. 7: A Vow Fulfilled

Style does go to the beach. When he arrives, Fadel is already there which makes sense, since Bison did tell Style that Fadel wanted to talk to him at the beach. Except Fadel immediately snaps at Style about what Style is doing here and asks about Bison. Style informs him that Bison was actually the one who said Fadel wanted to talk to Style right here. I think based on Fadel's facial journey and the fact that he moves to walk right off, Style can tell that Bison lied, probably to get Fadel and Style to talk to each other. And now, with new found hope, Style does very much have something to talk to Fadel about. So he catches Fadel's arm and pulls him back, asking him to at least stay for a chat. Fadel isn't really convinced and Style hits him with a cheeky "I can't sleep unless I talk to you". He then hands Fadel a list of all the relatives he has in his life, because "I want you to be sure that I'm not lying to you again." And I'm just gonna drop the Thai line again, because – ding ding ding, you guessed it! Our favorite word หลอก [lòhk] from last episode makes an appearance again:

I want you to be confident that I won't deceive you again. กูอยากให้มึงมั่นใจว่ากูจะไม่หลอกมึงอีก [guu - yàak - hâi - mueng - mân-jai - wâa - guu - jà - mâi - lòhk - mueng - ìik] I - want - that - you - (be) certain, confident - that - I - will - not - trick, deceive - you - again

If you haven't read my ep8 meta, I would encourage you to go read at least sections 6, 9 and 10, so that you have context for its significance. Last episode Style figured out that having been tricked (especially into love) was the one big thing that Fadel was really mad about. Last episode Fadel asked Style "You think that you deceiving (tricking) me is no big deal?" when they were sitting on the couch, then later when they were dancing, Style acknowledged that it is in fact a big deal and tells Fadel "But I'm ready to do anything to make you forgive me." Later in the bathtub Style acknowledges again that he did a bad thing by tricking (deceiving) and betraying Fadel (again I refer you to section 10 of my ep8 meta). And now, as Style is actively doing something in the hopes that it will finally make Fadel forgive him, he once again repeats to him the exact thing that Fadel is mad about, promising he won't be tricking/deceiving Fadel ever again. And yeah, the official translation isn't exactly wrong, because lying is in fact a thing that comes with deceiving or tricking people and this word can be translated as "lying", but I just want some consistency in the word choice. Because I'm sure the consistency of the word choice หลอก [lòhk] in the original Thai was very much on purpose. Otherwise they could have just had the characters say โกหก [goh-hòk] (= to lie) or some other word at some point too. But no, they kept (and keep) saying หลอก [lòhk] while the subs are all over the place (from "made someone do something" to "lying" to "fooling someone" etc. etc. -> these are just the ones off the top of my head). The translation student in me wants to scream. I might turn this into my master's thesis.

Anyway, now that this rant is out of the way, let's continue: So Style explicitly tells Fadel he won't be หลอก [lòhk]-ing him anymore and if he does end up doing it again, then Fadel is free to kill him together with his entire family. Fadel is outraged: "You're selling your whole family out for this? And you said you're a family man." And here's the literal translation, for those who are interested (it doesn't really change much):

You're selling your relatives to me? นี่มึงขายญาติให้กูเลยนะ [nîi - mueng - kăai - yâat - hâi - guu - loiie - ná] [interjection] - you - sell - relatives - to - me - [particle] - [particle] But you said you love your family, didn't you? ไหนมึงบอกว่ามึงรักครอบครัวไม่ใช่หรอ [năi - mueng - bòhk wâa - mueng - rák - krôp-kruua - mâi châi - rŏh] but - you - said that - you - love - family - no - ?

Style doesn't see a problem: "Because I know for a fact that I won't ever lie to you again." And yes, he does repeat the word หลอก [lòhk], thanks for asking. In fact, his wording is actually almost the same as earlier:

Well, I'm confident that I definitely won't deceive you again. ก็กูมั่นใจไงว่ากูจะไม่หลอกมึงอีกแน่นอน [gôh - guu - mân-jai - ngai - wâa - guu - jà - mâi - lòhk - mueng - ìik - nâe-non] well - I - (be) certain, confident - [particle] - that - I - will - not - trick, deceive - you - again - definitely, for sure

But Fadel, on top of being hurt that he was หลอก [lòhk]-ed by Style, he is now also offended that he is worth only a car to Style and sasses Style about it: "From what you did to me, I just hope that car's a real beauty." And it's actually kinda funny, because Style agreed to make Fadel his boyfriend, but it's been how many episodes since they've started dating?? And we have yet to see Style with said car. In fact, the only time that he went to Kant to claim the car was when he happily bragged about Fadel being his boyfriend the moment he started dating him many episodes ago, but then Kant told him about Fadel's real occupation and Style was like fuck that, keep your car, I'm out. And even when he agreed to stay with Fadel anyway, Style still didn't leave with the car. In fact, as of episode 6 it was Kant who was still in possession of the car, despite Style and Fadel being head over heels in love by that point (I've reached image limit, but we see Kant and Bison arrive at the bowling alley in that car at the end of episode 6 part 1). Style may have gone into it for the car, but he never actually took the car and by now the car is long forgotten. I didn't go and check, but as far as I remember Style hasn't even brought the car up to Kant ever since that scene in episode 4 where he initially came to claim it. At this point, Style would much rather have Fadel than the car anyway.

Fadel doesn't know any of that, of course. He doesn't know that Style isn't even in possession of the car (for now). And so Fadel drops a bitchy comment about it. Style's eyes widen and he immediately knows that Kant must have told Fadel. Fadel confirms and yells at him: "How are you gonna defend yourself now?" Shit. Style hadn't prepared for that conversation before he made his way down to the beach. Style hesitates a bit as he searches for words and the best way to defend himself without pissing Fadel off even more and making him run away again. Style's voice sounds a little stressed when he tells Fadel that it was only in the beginning that he wasn't being sincere. Fadel stares at him wordlessly. When Style continues to say "But after spending time with you" the stress from just now is gone and when he says "I've changed" his voice is very sincere and there's also an urgency that comes with it. Style really means what he says and it's important to him that Fadel believes him, too. But Fadel just looks away. So Style continues: "I never let anyone get the better of me. But for you, I'd do it again and again. I think we get along well." Now let me just share the Thai wording again:

Usually, I never lose to anyone. ปกติกูไม่เคยแพ้ใครนะ [bpòk-gà-dtì - guu - mâi koiie - páe - krai - ná] usually - I - never - lose (to) - anyone - [particle] But I have a soft spot for you. แต่กูแพ้ทางมึงว่ะ [dtàe - guu - páe taang - mueng - wâ] but - I - have a soft/weak spot for - you - [particle] I think we can have a life together. กูว่าเราสองคนอยู่ด้วยกันได้ [guu - wâa - rao sŏng kon - yùu - dûuay gan - dâai] I - think - the two of us - be, live - together - can, be able to

(Side note: there's a word play in the first and second line: to lose = แพ้ [páe] vs. to have a soft/weak spot = แพ้ทาง [páe taang])

Style uses the word แพ้ [páe] here, which means "to lose" or "to be defeated". And where have we heard Style use that word before? In episode 4, when Fadel drags him out of the Rise Up meeting and into the hallway. Once in the hallway, Style says: "I don't take defeats." And then we actually heard something similar again in episode 5 when Fadel tells Style "A guy like me doesn't know how to accept defeat" during their go-kart date. And now here Style is, standing in front of Fadel, telling him Fine. You win. I lose. And gladly so, if it means I get to have you in my life. Because he thinks they can be together. Style wants that and he's serious about it. Fadel looks away and sighs. So Style continues talking. And I'm just gonna share the literal translation again, not because it really makes any difference in meaning, but because I think some of you might be curious:

The thing I can do now is to convince you that I will be by your side. สิ่งที่กูทำได้ตอนนี้อ่ะ ก็คือพูดให้มึงเชื่อมั่นว่ากูจะอยู่ข้างมึง [sìng - tîi - guu - tam dâai - dton-níi - àh • gôh keu - pûut hâi mueng chêuua-mân - wâa - guu - jà - yùu - kâang mueng] thing - that - I - can do - now - [particle] • is - convince you - that - I - will - be - your side Official subs: The only thing I can do right now is promise you that I'll be by your side. But if you give me a chance แต่ถ้ามึงให้โอกาสกูอ่ะ [dtàe - tâa - mueng - hâi - oh-gàat - guu - àh] but - if - you - give - chance - me - [particle] Official subs: But if you give me a chance I will show you that I'm serious. กูจะทำให้มึงเห็นว่ากูเอาจริง [guu - jà - tam hâi - mueng - hĕn - wâa - guu - ao jing] I - will - make that - you - see - that - I - serious Official subs: I can show you I mean every word.

Fadel, who looked back at Style when he talked about being at Fadel's side, now looks away again and sighs for a second time. He remains stubborn. But Style won't be discouraged. He's made the decision to try getting through to Fadel once more and so he's on a mission now. "You don't believe me? Fine." Stupidly stubborn guys require stupidly silly methods. And at this point I really wanna share @ginnymoonbeam's words on this post:

You know when you've been fighting about something for a long time and eventually you get to a point where you know the other person has won, but you're too stubborn to just give up your position? That's Fadel. Everyone knows he isn't going to kill Style, that he loves Style, that he dragged him on this road trip because he wants to be with Style. He knows it too, but he's climbed on this hill-to-die-on and can't see his way down. Style's dramatic little stunt gives him a way to climb down. He has to get in the water because Style is the one being stubborn and unreasonable. It's gotta be a scene with a sense of urgency to break through that last resistance, but it also has to be something deeply stupid, because a genuine dangerous crisis takes his focus elsewhere. Fortunately manufacturing a deeply stupid emergency situation is right in Style's lane.

If Fadel wants to remain on that hill, then Style will just have to walk straight into the ocean. And he'll just keep walking until Fadel climbs down from that hill and gives him a chance after all. Even if Fadel's mirror last episode said that bad people don't deserve chances. And Style clearly is bad people for tricking Fadel into loving him and being crazy about him and then betraying him. And according to Fadel's mirror people who trick others into loving them all deserve to die. So instead of having Fadel drown him, Style will just willingly go drown himself in the ocean. He deserves to die for tricking Fadel after all. And so Style walks on. But suddenly Fadel starts getting stressed. He shouts after Style that his wound is going to get infected and but Style is determined to show just how serious he is: "And I will die of that, too!" Style is bad people and Style deserves to die for his sins and so Style will drown himself in the ocean and let the infected wound kill him on top of that. For love. Style walks and walks and makes a big show out of it and his injury gets closer and closer to the water and Fadel gets more and more stressed until he breaks after all: "Fine! I'll give you a chance." Style smiles for a moment, before he raises his eyebrows like Oh, is that so? and questions Fadel: "Really?"

Style knows he's won now, but the thing is that Fadel was reeeally stubborn for a reeeally long time and Style reeeally had to work for Fadel to utter the words "I'll give you a chance". And so Style decides drag it out a little longer. I think he partly does it to playfully mess with Fadel a bit, partly simply just to be a little shit and give Fadel a bit of a taste of his own medicine, and also partly because just as much as Fadel needed to see proof of Style's sincerity, Style also wants to see some proof that Fadel really means it when he says he'll give Style a chance. After all, Style's heart is on the line here, too. And there's only so much rejection a man in love can take. Style doesn't want that chance if Fadel is just gonna turn around and go back to making death threats again as soon as Style is back out of the water. And so instead of walking back to land, Style calls out "Nah, I’m gone. There’s no way you mean it." And let me just–

You're tricking me for sure. มึงหลอกกูแน่ [mueng - lòhk - guu - nâe] you - trick, deceive - me - for sure Official subs: There's no way you mean it.

Yup. Our favorite word is back. Fadel has repeatedly thrown it into Style's face that Style tricked him and now Style is turning Fadel's words back around on him. And it's not in a malicious way, no, Style is affectionately teasing Fadel with it and also being a bit of a little shit and also, as I just said, I do think Style is also lowkey worried that Fadel is in fact just tricking him. And I do think Style wants to confirm that this is not the case. By the way, I'm not sure Style's tease even registered in Fadel's brain, because he's so stressed and he's already moving to walk into the water the moment the words "I'm gone" are out of Style's mouth. As Fadel walks up to him in the water, Style watches him with a happy, expectant expression on his face. That expression turns serious as Fadel approaches him.

Style's behavior just now as he was walking into the ocean was very playful, very silly in order to get Fadel to loosen up and to lose his grumpiness a bit and to get Fadel to climb down from his hill of stubbornness. But what he has to say Fadel is actually very serious: "I promise you that, from now on, you'll only see the 100% real me." I think this is a big relief for Style, because we saw how much he was longing to be able to talk freely about everything with Fadel as far back as episodes 5 and 6. Fadel says "Besides work, I've been real to you from day one" and Style just looks at him without replying, because Fadel is kind of right. Although, it's not like Style could just say it, because apart from the deal with the car, the whole being a police snitch was Kant's thing, not Style's and so it was Kant's secret to spill. And it's not like Style could have just told Fadel Kant's secret, because Kant would have been a dead man right there and then. Style got as close as he could to spilling the secret without actually spilling it and I think especially that night at the rock concert Style would have like nothing more than to come clean and to stop Fadel from going on that mission, but it would have been at the cost of Kant's life and only two scenes ago we saw that Style will not have that.

As much as Style was Style for walking into the ocean just like that, Fadel is also Fadel and of course can't let this go without making another threat: "If you don't stay true to me after this, you'll find out how I deal with liars."

If you aren't real with me after this, you better watch out. หลังจากเนี้ยถ้ามึงไม่เรียลกับกู มึงเจอดีแน่ [lăng jàak - níia - tâa - mueng - mâi - riial - gàp - guu • mueng - jer - dii - nâe] after - this - if - you - not - real - with - me • you - meet - good - for sure

Bye the way, I'm not sure how obvious it is to non-Thai speakers, but whenever they talk about "being real" they actually use the English word "real". And I just wanted to put the Thai wording here, because Fadel also uses the anglicism "real" here when the subs talk about "staying true". Also, his threat is way less elaborate. Literally, the threat translates to something like "to meet good" (like, you'll meet something good as in something bad will happen to you).

Style doesn't talk back. He stays quiet. And I think it's because at this point there isn't really a lot he can say. It's true that he hadn't been real with Fadel and so he quietly accepts his fate. Style then also huffs a little and looks at Fadel fondly. Because even if Fadel just threatened him again, it still implied that they really will have a "from now on" together. And that makes Style happy. That's exactly what he just walked into the ocean for. After a moment, Fadel prompts Style to get out of the water before his wound gets infected. And now Style starts talking back again and teases Fadel: "Even when you're threatening me, you're worried about me."

And here I wanna share the literal wording again, because it reminds me of some other scenes. And let me just explain this one word before I do... So where the subs say "threatening", Style uses the word โหด [hòht] which is a word I actually discussed with my Thai friend after episode 7 and he explained that it can be translated in a few different ways depending on context, but usually it means "cruel" or "aggressive" or "brutal". I'm gonna go with "harsh" as a translation to have some consistency, because I feel like this word could work for all the lines that I'm about to drop.

In episode 4, when Style showed up in the kitchen he told Fadel:

No matter how harsh you are, I'm still hooked on you. มึงโหดแค่ไหนอ่ะ กูก็ยังติดใจมึงอยู่ดี [mueng - hòht - kâe năi - àh • guu - gôh - yang - dtìt-jai - mueng - yùu dee] you - harsh - how much - [particle] • I - [sentence link] - still - hooked - you - anyway Official subs: It doesn't matter how scary you are, I'm still hooked.

Then, in episode 7 when Fadel surprise attacked Style with a shower of kisses at the garage, Fadel had following complaint to Style:

When I'm sweet, you don't like it. ตอนกูหวานมึงก็ไม่ชอบ [dton - guu - wăan - mueng - gôr - mâi - chôp] when - I - sweet - you - [sentence link] - not - like Official subs: You don't like me being nice. When I'm harsh, you still scold me. ตอนกูโหดมึงก็ด่ากู [dton - guu - hòht - mueng - gôr - dàa - guu] when - I - harsh - you - [sentence link] - scold - me Official subs: You complain when I'm cold.

Now in episode 9, Style's words are very reminiscent of that complaint:

Even when you're this harsh, you're still sweet with me. นี่ขนาดโหดนะเนี่ย ยังหวานกับกูเลย [nîi - kà-nàat hòht - ná - nîia • yang - wăan - gàp - guu - loiie] [interjection] - this harsh - [particle] - [particle] • still - sweet - with - me - [particle] Official subs: Even when you're threatening me, you're worried about me.

When Style comments "How adorable", he's still teasing Fadel, but you can also clearly see just how delighted and happy he is that Fadel really seems to mean it when he says he'll give Style a chance after all. He looks at Fadel with the brightest smile. But Fadel has spent a lot of time being angry and hurt and grumpy and stubborn and so he isn't gonna be cheesy from one second to the next. And so he speaks out another (very empty, almost joking) threat as he warns Style he can be worse. "You want that?" Style says no. But if Fadel is already letting him put in requests, then Style wants Fadel to use only his sweet side.

From now on I want you to use only your sweet side. ต่อไปนี้กูอยากให้มึงใช้แต่ด้านหวาน [dtòh bpai níi - guu - yàak - hâi - mueng - chái - dtàe - dâan wăan] from now on - I - want - that - you - use - only - sweet side Official subs: From now on, I just want to see you being lovey-dovey.

This actually makes Fadel laugh a bit and ask for clarification and when he looks at Style after that, his face is suddenly so much softer. Style explains: "In a situation like this, if we weren't fighting, what would you like to do to me?" He smiles at Fadel, his face expectant and mixed with almost a sort of innocence like Oh, this is totally not an implicit request for you to kiss me and it also has a bit of a challenging flair like Do you dare to kiss me? The message reaches Fadel loud and clear. He dares. As long as Style is alive he'd make Fadel kiss him again. And Style did. Fadel is kissing him. By Fadel's own choice. Style left it entirely up to him, didn't force Fadel to kiss him, didn't get physically close to him, didn't try to seduce him in any way, didn't even explicitly say the words "kiss me" out loud. In fact, Style asked "What would you like to do to me?" and Fadel could really have chosen to do anything, but what Fadel wanted to do was to kiss Style. Style may have said earlier that he'd lose to Fadel, but is Style really losing here with Fadel back at his side?

Now. The eyes. Let me address the eyes, because I've seen talk about it. Honestly, the way Style's eye keep fluttering open kinda reminds me of what I wrote about the ep6 rock concert kiss and forehead touch in my ep6 meta:

They seal that promise with a kiss. And it's interesting, because Style doesn't immediately close his eyes when Fadel goes to kiss him but instead looks at him for a moment longer. And then his eyes keep fluttering open for a moment. It's almost as if he can't tear his eyes away from Fadel, as if he can't help but use every opportunity to look at Fadel, to catch every last glimpse of Fadel while he still has the opportunity to do so. They break apart and Fadel tells Style that he's (also) very happy tonight and Style (re)confirms his own happiness. They lean their foreheads against each other. And again, Style can't really close his eyes and fully sink into the moment the way Fadel can. It's like he tries to close his eyes but they keep fluttering open a second later because he just can't keep his eyes away from Fadel, is compelled to keep looking at him while he still can, while Fadel is still right there with him. And even when they break away from each other and turn to look out of the window towards the stage, it takes Style a couple of seconds to tear his eyes away from Fadel, who is already looking elsewhere.

Except now it's the polar opposite energy. Back at the concert, it was the end for Style. Now in the water it's a (new) beginning. Back at the concert it was like Style had to savor every last look at Fadel that he could get before it was too late. Now in the water it again feels like Style just can't stop looking at Fadel, but for a different reason. I think it's undeniable that Style is deeply in love with Fadel. But Fadel started pushing him away from the moment Bison was stabbed and at first Style didn't even know what the fuck was happening, especially with how weirdly affectionate Fadel had been the day before. And from then on Fadel has just kept pushing Style away again and again, outright tried to murder him even, and then just kept refusing Style, kept refusing to believe Style no matter how much Style tried to show him just how serious he was about his feelings for Fadel and how serious he was about their relationship. Fadel was pushing Style away so much that even Style, our beacon of optimism and hope, believer in the power of love, even he was starting to get discouraged that Fadel would ever take him back. But now Fadel is here, kissing him again. Style can't believe his eyes and it's like he has to keep looking at Fadel to check that he's really not dreaming, that Fadel really is here, standing in front of him, kissing him. It's the relief that he is finally getting his Fadel back which makes him unable to stop looking at Fadel to make sure it's real.

And another aspect my mom actually mentioned when I was talking to her about this scene was that Style is also checking on Fadel. I don't remember her reasoning, but for me personally it's that Fadel has been very hot-and-cold lately, jumping from saving Style's life to pushing him away again and threatening him in the very next moment. And as I mentioned above, Fadel is not the only one with a heart that can get hurt. Style is also human, Style also has a heart, Style can also get hurt. Even if it may not seem like it through his easy-going, unserious, always optimistic personality. Style is human and Style isn't the only one here between the two of them who did something hurtful to the other. And so I think part of the reason why Style's eyes keep fluttering open is to check Fadel's reactions. Because just because Fadel is in hot-mode right now, doesn't mean he won't jump right back into cold-mode from one second to the next. And so Style has to keep checking so that he's prepared for it if it happens again, because I'm not sure Style's heart could handle it if Fadel suddenly pushed him away again now without a warning. It would be like that time Fadel dumped him in the kitchen back in episode 4, except this time Style would probably be even more hurt than back then, because now he is undeniably irrevocably deeply in love with Fadel. If Fadel pushed him away again now I think that would actually break Style for real.

But Fadel doesn't. They break apart and Fadel nuzzles his face into Style's neck for a moment (definitely kissing it) and then they lean their foreheads against each other for a while. Together again at last.

No. 8: Lore

They're back in the room and Fadel is about to finish renewing Style's bandages after their little swim in the ocean. Fadel tells Style not to do something like this again. Style smiles and says "But I gotta pull some dramatic stunt for someone like you." Fadel huffs in response but is otherwise very focused on the bandages and doesn't reply. Now that they're finally one on one again and Style is also no longer dying of pain, he uses the chance to finally, albeit hesitantly, ask about the guy on the photo in the car. One could think that Style asks out of jealousy, but to be honest, I don't think so. As I mentioned in the beginning of this meta, I think he'd have a gut feeling if that guy was someone who could actually be a potential rival. Also, there's a chance that the person on the photo was also just a family member or something, not necessarily someone Fadel was romantically involved with. Besides, Fadel did tell him that he didn't have any past lovers and that he didn't want a lover in the first place to avoid getting anyone in trouble. So I think rather than out of jealousy, Style asks out of curiosity and genuine care. Fadel has shared next to nothing about his past, but Style wants to know. His voice is full of concern, but not because he feels threatened by the guy in the photo. Instead it's genuine worry for Fadel. Style hesitates to ask and seems almost a little nervous, as if he's scared that this question will cause Fadel to shut him out again.

Fadel stares at Style for quite a long moment, then goes back to the bandage without answering Style's question. Style immediately says "I'm sorry for prying. If you don't want to tell me, I understand" and that cements it even more for me that Style isn't asking out of jealousy. Because I think if he was jealous, he'd try to find out more. I don't think he'd be all that chill with Fadel not answering his question. No, I think Style's question is him cautiously trying to learn more about Fadel's past, but Style will also respect Fadel's boundaries if Fadel isn't ready to talk about it. Especially since last time Style insisted on Fadel opening up about his past, Fadel dropped that his parents were shot dead. So when Fadel doesn't answer, Style is quick to let him know that he won't be prying this time and that Fadel doesn't have to talk if he doesn't want to. And it's only then that Fadel makes the decision to open up after all. That guy is his ex. This new information has Style a little speechless as it dawns on him that Fadel lied about not having had a boyfriend before.

Once Style has processed this, he continues to ask how long Fadel had been dating this guy for and the reason why they broke up. And again, I don't think Style is bothered by the fact that Fadel does have an ex. There is so much worry and care in his voice as well as on his face while he talks and listens to Fadel. He genuinely cares to know about Fadel's past. And Fadel shares willingly and without any more hesitation: They were gonna start a life together but then the guy disappeared from one day to the other. Fadel jokes "Maybe he was scared of me, thinking I'd kill him if he broke up with me" and Style huffs and smiles a little, but that smile doesn't really reach his eyes.

Style doesn't think the joke is all that funny. He looks at Fadel fondly, but I think he also really feels for him. He feels bad for him for getting dumped like that and feels sad that Fadel thinks his past lover might have been scared of him, so terrified even that he didn't even want to confront him. And we know the latter part specifically really gets to Style, because the next thing he does is that he grabs Fadel's hand and tells him "I'm not scared of you". And Style is about to continue that sentence, but for a moment he just lets this part stand on its own, lets Fadel process that first before he goes on. Style isn't afraid of Fadel and it's important to him that Fadel knows that. Style continues to say that he hasn't been scared of Fadel since he saved the woman at the bowling alley and I call bullshit on that. I think Style stopped being afraid of Fadel by the end of episode 5 and I wrote 12k words about it. However, I do think the bowling alley incident cemented what Style was saying about Fadel being a good person last episode in the bathtub. Style ends with "You risked your life for a total stranger. I know I'm in love with the right man." And let me just...

A person who risks their own life for someone they don't even know. คนที่เอาชีวิตตัวเองไปเสี่ยงเพื่อคนที่ไม่รู้จักด้วยซ้ำ​ [kon - tîi - ao - chee-wít dtuua eng - bpai - sìiang - pêuua - kon - tîi - mâi - rúu-jàk - dûuay sám] person - that - take - one's own life - go - risk - for - person - that - not - know - even I love the right person. กูรักถูกคนแล้วละ [guu - rák - tùuk - kon - láew - lá] I - love - right - person - already - [particle]

I do much prefer the phrasing of "I love the right person", because it's not just a state of being, but it's something that Style actively does, is actively doing, has actively been doing, actively chooses to do over and over again.

Style's words really hit Fadel. And I think this time, he finally fully believes them, finally lets himself fully believe them. Fadel goes through quite the emotional journey, then grabs Style's arm and puts it over him as he lays his head in Style's lap. Fadel finally gets to be a child seeking comfort. Style's free hand immediately finds Fadel's head to stroke him. At one point Style smiles a little and shakes his head, looking a bit amused.

It's my personal headcanon that in this moment Style is remembering Bison's words about Fadel being all rough on the outside, but actually being a huge softie inside and is laughing to himself about how it's true. He currently has a very soft (and vulnerable) Fadel in his lap after all he roughness that Fadel put him through. They continue to stay like this until the end of the scene.

No. 9: Peace, Joy, Egg Cake

Allow me to bulk the last few scenes into one last section and allow me to mostly just skip over them a bit, since there isn't all that much plot happening here and it's more about the characters getting to be a little happy again at the end of this story arc before we go into the last bit (can you tell I'm just trying to get this meta done asap so I can hopefully drop it before ep10 lmao).

We got our OT4 happily playing frisbee in the water and it makes me laugh how Style's wound getting infected apparently isn't the same big problem anymore as it was the night before. It also makes me laugh how Style is apparently also perfectly capable of lifting an entire human man with that injured arm of his. I remember this one time a couple of years ago where I scraped open my entire leg and I couldn't walk on it for at least a week without being in pain, so like. Good on your pain tolerance @ Style, I guess. Same thing with Bison and his stab wound. And Fadel's sprained arm has magically healed as well, apparently. Not to mention Kant with his ocean trauma having absolutely no problem letting loose in the ocean water. This show is so unserious, I love it.

After they're done playing in the water, they sit on the shore and have a conversation about staying on the island, except Fadel reminds Bison that they still have one last job to do. Although Fadel then also says "Once we wrap up the last mission, we can go anywhere and do anything. Not sure if they'd come with us, though." For the last sentence, Fadel turns his head and says it directly into Style's face. This statement was 100000% directed at Style and Style alone, not Kant. Style stares at Fadel for a moment and then makes a face like My love, do you really even need to ask after I've followed you all the way here?

Then he says "Just tell me where, and I'll go with you." and I shake my hands at the writers in disappointment, because this would have been THE opportunity to bring back "hitman teerak". Especially because the wording is also kind of similar.

Episode 7: Tell me where you wanna go na krub, hitman-teerak. มึงอยากไปไหนอ่ะ บอกกูมาเลยนะครับนักฆ่าที่รัก [mueng - yàak - bpai - năi - àh • bòhk guu maa - loiie - ná - kráp - nák-kâa - tîi-rák] you - want - go - where - [particle] • tell me - [particle] na - krub - hitman - teerak Official subs: I'll drive you where you want me to go, my dear hitman. Episode 9: Tell me where you're going. I'm all ready to go. จะไปที่ไหนก็บอก กูพร้อมไปอยู่ละ [jà - bpai - tîi năi - gôh - bòhk • guu - próm - bpai - yùu - lá] will - go - where - [sentence link] - tell • I - ready- go - [auxillary verb] - [particle] Official subs: Just tell me where, and I'll go with you.

Please tell me, does the episode 9 sentence not scream for a "hitman teerak" drop? Does it not look a little incomplete?

Anyway, Style continues to say a very Style thing and Fadel laughs. This has Kant quite impressed. I have not gone back and checked if Kant is right about never having seen Fadel laugh, but I'm just gonna assume it's true. The only scene that I can think of where Kant may have seen Fadel laugh is at the bowling alley in episode 5, but Kant would have had to be looking at Fadel to see actually see that. Also let me just...

Please, the way Style is smiling so brightly at Fadel. He's so over the moon to have his Fadel back. With everyone being so happy and cute it just has me very worried about what next episode might have in store for them, especially considering the preview (we're not gonna have any more injuries on this show, are we? 🥺🙏).

As for Style's mood in the scene with everyone on the boat on the way back to land, I'm just gonna leave Joong's tweet here...

(Overview | Ep1+2 | Ep3 | Ep4 | Ep5 | Ep6 | Ep7 | Ep8 | Ep10 | Ep11 | Ep12)

[mrabubu]

I know we've seen bits and pieces of Ana's life as a kraang but what about her before turning into a kraang? Like what's her family situation? Does she has siblings? Neighbours she's closed with?

Had she ever went on adventures like April with the turtles? If ana & April were in the same school, did she met draxum as the lunch lady? How did she felt about him then? When casey JR met Ana from the past what did he felt about her?

And did how did Ana helped in the movie where the hamatos were fighting back? After the movie, was she hurt or helped taking care of the turtles?

Sorry for asking too much it's just sometimes am getting this burst of energy to ask questions about your AU 🙏🏼

Nah, it's okay, you're good ~ So, I've been having some ideas on Ana before she was kraangified, and maybe some of the details are my projection, but there's other character's I've been inspired with.

This post turned out to be long, so, yeah... But if you have any more questions, I'm like, totally ready to answer.

I'll go with more simple questions first:

Adventures with the turtles:

I had an idea that maybe it was Leo who was dragging her out on adventures. I thought of a different scenario with that episode when Leo accidentally teleported others somewhere, but before going to Hueso he would go to Ana and drag her out just not to be alone in this.

Ana and Draxum:

I never actually thought about Ana meeting Draxum, but now I kinda imagine there would be a joke about how Ana sneaks up on people unintentionally, especially Draxum because he thought she was unremarkable and he wasn't really paying much attention to her, and he would go like "Were you standing here this whole time?".

Ana and Casey Jr.:

With the story I have in my head, Ana and Leo were reunited after or not long before Cassandra died, so Ana became someone like a mother figure to Casey Jr, and considering Ana died in the future not long before the events of the movie, I feel like Casey would try to suppress his emotions towards her, and definitely would try to hide the details of what happened to Ana in the bad future timeline. But he would definitely be happy to see her, and if going with the movie, in the end he would finally let himself relax around her, knowing she'll be alright, alive and not kraangified, embracing her for the first time since he got into the past.

Ana during the events of the movie:

So, I think this would be strongly connected to the end of the season 2, because I had this idea that Ana, unlike April, didn't have much strength to fight, so Leo left her with Tod while him, April and others went to fight Shredder. This made Ana felt useless and helpless. During the movie, I thought that she would be helping people in the city. She was unable to fight the Kraang, but she tried to help people by leading them away from the war zone. I'm not sure what big moment to add here, but at the time I think that aside from bruises and small cuts she was okay, and, yes, was definitely helping the turtles to heal. Maybe even in the end of the movie it would be her and Leo's moment, when she would tell him about how useless she felt and how scared she was when Leo almost got trapped in the prison dimension, and he would reassure her that she did an amazing job by helping people in the city. And about him almost being gone, I think this would actually be their big moment when he would openly tell her he loves her. Like, before he didn't tell her this like that, but after almost, well, dying, he wouldn't want to waste a single moment with her.

Okay, now to Ana and her family:

At first I thought of Ana being just a normal, shy girl with a normal family, but, uuuh, I also thought it's kinda boring and lacks some depth, so, here's some of my ideas.

I never saw her having any siblings, so, she's the only child.

Her situation in her family is not as ideal as it could be. I didn't want to go with this cliche of one of her parents being dead, so they were both alive, but mostly they lived together more like neighbors rather than a family. I also thought of Ana feeling kinda like a burden to her family. She's calm, shy and quiet girl, doesn't have any special talents or big ambitions rather than taking photos (yeah, I've decided she liked to take pictures).

After watching Dungeon Meshi and seeing this moment with Falin eating alone, I kinda took it as an inspiration for Ana's backstory. But in Ana's case it's more close to something like with Hanekawa from Monogatari series.

If you know Hanekawa's story, you know the vibe/the idea. Ana and Kraang-chan are like Hanekawa and Black Hanekawa.

With Ana it's not as bad as it was for Hanekawa, there was no abuse or anything, but some ideas of her usually wearing a facade to appear to be someone who she isn't is present. With Ana she's more suppressing her emotions, even to the point she's ashamed of them. She feels lonely and detached from others but tries to make it look like she's fine with it, but there are still moments when her frustration is too much to handle, but even then she didn't ask for help, but more took it on herself.

I redrew a moment from The Boy and the Heron.

Oh boy, I hope I didn't miss anything.

[gnarly-words]

mad as hatter | pt.2

description: y/n navigates a chaotic day in diagon alley with the wasleys, haunted by visions and comforted by unexpected moments of connection.

pairing: fred weasley x fem!reader

warnings: swearing, mentions of blood purity

word count: 6k

masterlist

 y/n didn't know why she'd turned up here on this rainy tuesday evening, but she knew it felt right. she'd gotten into a bad situation. she'd had an episode as she was walking down diagonal alley, causing a group of passersby to apparate her to st mungo's. she'd escaped through the fireplace in the ward, stumbling until she ended up in front of the crooked house.

she approached the wooden door and paused. should she be doing this? she knew that it wasn't the most ideal of places to have turned up in the middle of the night, but it was the only place she could think of as she scrambled into the fireplace of the only wizarding pub open at that time of night.

pushing down her doubts, she rapped three times on the door and waited. shuffles of feet and muffled steps could be heard as the only one in the weasley household that could hear the light raps approached the door.

"y/n?" bleary blue eyes stared out at the soaked girl.

"hi, ginny." y/n smiled back weakly, pulling her thin jacket around her body tighter as shivers ran down her spine.

"what are you doing here?" the ginger girl asked quietly as to not arouse the suspicions of her parents or siblings.

"i'm sorry. i couldn't think of anywhere else. it all happened so fast, and you were the first person i thought of." y/n's lip wobbled as she choked out her words. "i should go. this was stupid."

"no, no. it's ok. i just need to make sure no one heard you." ginny called out as she reached for her rain-clad jacket. "i think i've got some clothes that you can get changed into. come in."

y/n trudged after the red-headed girl, following her footsteps that lead them both up the stairs and into the first room on the left. she didn't remember this being the younger girl's room last time she came to stay but assumed they had moved over the summer break. the room was pitch black, the only light source coming from the moonlight through the open window. ginny flipped the switch, the light-bulb flickering as it illuminated the small, dinky room.

"here." ginny handed one of the shirts and old pair of joggers from the large pile of washing over to the drenched girl. "you can get changed in here. i'll wait out in the hallway."

y/n only nodded meekly, ridding herself of the soaked clothes and allowing them to drop to the wooden floor with a heavy thud. she slipped the clothes over her slightly damp skin, the t-shirt falling  to her knees and the trousers having to be rolled at the waist a few times as to not fall down.

"gin. ginny, you can come back in." y/n whispered, the girl's head poking around the door at her voice.

"we're meant to be going down to diagonal alley tomorrow to buy everything for school. you're welcome to join us unless you need to go back home." ginny grinned, settling down on the small bed.

"it's fine, ginny." y/n places a soothing hand on her arm as she sat beside her. "i'm sure your family will have enough chaos with the twins tomorrow. they don't need to worry about me as well. i'll go once the rain stops."

"no. you can't just leave. at least stay for breakfast." ginny pouted, already knowing her puppy-dog eyes would work on the older girl.

"fine. but i need to go back home and get my things before we leave for hogwarts." y/n smiled grimly thinking about having to return to her parents and their rage at the girl disappearing.

"why exactly did you come today? what happened, y/n?" ginny whispered, turning his head to face the raven-haired girl.

y/n paused, not wanting to tell the girl about her deepest secret. "had a bit of a problem in diagon alley. i don't really wanna go into all of it right now but i'm very glad i remembered about the pub your brother's took me to last summer."

"why did come here and not back to yours?" ginny was trying to understand why the girl wouldn't want to go back to her home.

"i- i have no idea. i guess i just went to the place i felt the safest. not exactly comfortable talking to my family about magic and stuff." y/n shrugged.

"ah yes. the muggles." ginny nodded, reminiscing about her brother's hexing on of them last summer. "remember when fred and george hexed your brother into having his head grow three times the size? he looked so fucking funny running around your garden."

"ginny! who taught you that word? was it fred and george? i knew i shouldn't have forced them to spend more time with you." y/n rolled her eyes, before giggling along with the ginger girl.

both girls paused as they heard movement in the hallway, snapping their heads over to door as the footsteps stopped before it.

"ginny? are you awake?" mrs weasley's voice whispered through the door.

"no?" ginny gritted her teeth, already hearing the sigh from her mother. "sorry mummy. i had a nightmare. i'll try and get back to sleep."

"oh. that's alright, dear. do you need me to stay with you until you get to sleep?" mrs weasley started to open the door before being cut off by her daughter.

"no! no, i'm okay mum. i'm already feeling sleepy." ginny faked a yawn, stifling a giggle as she locked eyes with y/n.

"well, alright dear. i'll see you in the morning. goodnight." mrs weasley sounded unsure.

"night, mum." ginny yawned for real this time, exhaustion finally getting the better of her.

y/n waited for the sounds of footsteps to disappear before slipping off of the bed and onto the floor. she picked up her small pile of clothes from the floor and removed her shoes.

"i'll let you sleep, gin." y/n whispered, already reaching the door handle.

"where are you going? you're not leaving are you? you promised." ginny pouted once again.

"i'm just going to sleep on the sofa. we can't exactly both fit in your bed." she grinned as the ginger girl finally saw how much of the bed she had been sprawled out across.

"i can move over. it's okay." ginny tried to plead with her once again, not liking that her friend would possibly leave once she left the room.

"it's alright, gin. i'll see you in the morning." y/n gave a final wave to the girl, closing the door gently behind her.

y/n slowly crept down the hallway toward the stairs, hoping that she wouldn't wake anyone up. she made it to the living room without making a sound, collapsing onto the raggedy sofa with a hug. it didn't take long for her to drift off to sleep, burrowing herself into the cinnamon-scented pillows.

"how long do you think 'til she notices?" a voice whispered through the void of y/n's dreams.

"there's no way she doesn't already." a similar voice whispered.

"she's gonna kill you both once she wakes up." a female voice chimed in.

"i'll kill you all if you don't shut up." y/n grumbled, shoving her face further into the pillow before jumping up realizing the pillow was moving.

she shrieked as her eyes made contact with the yellow ones of ginny's pet cat, who hissed at her and climbed all across the girl before scampering off the sofa. the twins laughter filled her ears.

"i'd think very carefully about your next words." y/n glared her eyes, smirking as the tall pair shrunk back away from the girl.

"y/n? is that you, dear?" mrs weasley's voice called from the kitchen, smiling as she entered the living room. "i didn't know you were coming round. did you just arrive?"

"she slept the night." ginny blurted, slipping her hand across her mouth at the reveal. "sorry, y/n/n."

"it's okay, gin." y/n smiled at the ginger girl.

"you turned up last night? why didn't you say anything, ginny?" mrs weasley turned her confusion onto her daughter.

"i asked her to, mrs weasley. i didn't want to bother anyone. i meant to leave before any of you woke up but i guess i must've overslept." y/n looked down sheepishly.

"well, that's alright dear. i was just getting started on breakfast before we leave. you eat bacon right?" mrs weasley was already back in the kitchen before y/n could protest.

"if y/n's staying over she's staying with me!" ginny shouted as soon as her mother left the room, dragging the girl by her arm up the spiral staircase.

"ginny." y/n gasped as they ran further up the stairs. "how the hell do you manage these stairs everyday?"

"when you have fred and george chasing you up and down them all the time, you get used to it." ginny shrugged, pushing open the wooden door to her bedroom.

y/n flopped onto the tartan blanket spread across the bed with a huff. the door didn't stay closed for long as it burst open with the appearance of the twins, an identical annoyed look on both of their faces.

"hand our friend back, ginevra, and we won't make you test out any of our products this summer." fred raised his eyebrow at his sister, who put on her best puppy dog eyes and pout.

"b-but you get to see her all year. i only get to see her for the holidays and summer." ginny curled herself around the older girl's arm.

"you're joining us this year, gin. you'll still see me." y/n looked down sadly at the ginger girl.

"no i won't. you'll be too busy running off with those two and lee." ginny somehow pouted further.

y/n looked up to the twins for help, not knowing what to say to the girl to convince her. george sighed and shared a look with his twin before they both approached the pair and knelt before them.

"hey, we will always have time for you, gin. you're our favourite sister." fred spoke softly to the girl.

"i'm your only sister." ginny grumbled.

"still our favourite." george grinned cheekily, trying to wrangle the girl out of y/n's arms with tickles.

"okay! you can take her. as long as i can play quidditch with you all before dinner. please!" ginny looked up once more with her puppy dog eyes.

"of course, gin. who's gonna help me beat those two idiots?" the twins' faces held offended looks at the girl's words.

"promise?" ginny held up her pinky finger, the three teens hooking their own around it.

"we promise, gin." the trio said in unison.

"now. let's get you out of here, miss thompson." fred shouted, grabbing the girl before chucking her over his shoulder and running out of the room, george trailing after the pair.

"put me down!" y/n giggled, slapping the taller twin on the back as he carried her back down the stairs. "if i throw up you're cleaning it up!"

she was swiftly dropped onto the soft mattress of one of the twins' beds, her head dealing with the sudden change. she could hear mrs weasley's voice shouting up the stairs about the commotion that the trio had made before the door slammed shut and silenced her.

"if you two dare try and test another one of your products on me." y/n stopped the twins before they could even begin to riffle through their trunk of products.

"i hate that you can do that." george grumbled, dropping onto the other bed in a sulk.

"do what?" y/n tilted her head, feigning innocence.

"you know what we mean, y/n/n." fred rolled his eyes, dropping down on his bed beside the girl. "you still haven't told us how you actually do it."

"am i not allowed my secrets?" y/n grinned down at the pair.

george only rolled his eyes, grumbling under his breath about it being unfair. fred continued to stare at the girl, whose eyes had glazed over slightly and had a far off look to them. her body rocked slightly on the spot and her breathing picked up rapidly.

"uh, george?" fred alerted his twin, who sprang up from the bed at the sight of the girl.

"y/n?" george tried to snap her out of her trance.

"i don't think she can hear us. is this what she meant by her episodes?" fred sat up off the bed, giving the girl space.

"should we get mum?" george could see the girl's head start to lull to the side and caught it before she could roll off the bed.

"i'm not sure she could do anything." fred shook his head, helping his twin lie the girl down on her side.

y/n's eyes rolled into the back of her head, her hands forming fists at her sides as her body starting to to violently shake from side to side. she gasped awake with a violent scream, scrambling to escape the confines of the bed she'd been placed on.

"y/n/n! y/n! you're okay!" george scrambled to calm the girl down.

"you're just in our room. it's okay." fred held his hands out in front to show they didn't mean any harm.

"i'm sorry. i'm so sorry." y/n shook her head, not meeting their eyes in shame. "i thought it would just pass."

"does this happen often?" fred sat down on the bed carefully.

y/n could only nod, her head still reeling from what she'd seen before. it had been one of the more vivid visions she'd had in a while. she had been seeing from the eyes of the person whom it happened to, never catching their reflection.

"we should tell mum. her or dad may know what this is." george was already heading for the door before either of the pair could process.

"no! please. you can tell them about this." y/n tried to grab the boy but nearly fell off the bed in the process. "no one else can know."

"why? they may know how to help you." george tried to argue.

"i already know what is causing it, and the other things." y/n rubbed her arms nervously. "professor dumbledore tested me in first year and made me promise not to let anyone know. it's why i always went to mcgonagall's office for detention."

there was a pause in the room before fred spoke, "so, you know what it is? what's causing this."

"y-yes." y/n nodded, not wanting to share what she'd promised to keep secret.

the twins didn't have time to probe any further as their bedroom door swung open revealing a worried and red-faced mrs weasley. "i heard a scream. everything okay y/n dear?"

"y-yes, everything's fine mrs weasley. just a stupid prank." y/n tried to smile but it didn't quite reach her eyes like usual.

"are you sure?" mrs weasley gave her a knowing motherly look that y/n could only nod slightly. "and what did i say about calling me mrs weasley? it's molly to you, dear."

"o-okay, mrs wea-i mean molly." y/n smile brightened slightly.

"now, breakfast is ready. wash up from whatever you three were up to and come downstairs to eat." mrs weasley gave the twins a slight glare of distrust before exiting the room once more.

"nice to know mum only cares when it's you that's in trouble." george tutted, pulling on fred's knitted jumper.

"you know that's his right?" y/n raised her eyebrow questioningly, already knowing what the twins were planning.

"yep." george popped the 'p' of his word, grinning cheekily before leaving the room.

fred followed suit and slipped on his twin's jumped, chucking an older jumper that y/n didn't recognise to the girl and sprinting out of the room after his brother. y/n was left struggling to pull the somehow-tightening jumper over head. it felt like the more she struggled, the tighter the jumper became.

"did you hex this?! you bastards!" y/n screeched down the stairs, earning a stern warning from mrs weasley down the stairs.

when y/n finally trudged down the stairs, now jumper-less thanks to percy who had been passing by and heard the commotions, she didn't hesitate to smack the twins upside their heads. she grabbed their plates that were stacked high with several bacon sandwiches and walked around the table, the twins arguing in protest.

"nope! you've lost your molly food privileges for the morning." y/n glared at them, portioning the food out onto an eager ron and Harry's plates. "harry! i didn't realize you were here. good summer?"

"y-yes." harry smiled nervously up at the girl, remembering her being one of the chasers on the slytherin team last year.

"you better eat that up before ron does." y/n nodded to where ron had already cleared half of his plate and eyeing up harry's untouched plate.

harry only nodded, clumsily picking up his sandwich and shoveling food into his mouth at a speed that made ron look slow. mrs weasley shook her head as she returned to the table.

'honestly, do they not feed that boy anymore? oh, the things I'd do to that woman if I ever met her.' mrs weasley's voice echoed in y/n's head, making the girl stifle a giggle at the images of what mrs weasley wished to do harry's aunt petunia.

"everything okay, y/n dear?" mrs weasley asked as she spotted the girl trying to hold in her laughs.

y/n could only nod her head, placing the twins' plates back in their place and sat at the table herself. she could feel the puppy-dog faces the twins were sending her way as she raised the food to her mouth. her eyes turned to the twins, who were sulking in the seats as they saw ron finish their portion of food. y/n sighed, passing a sandwich from her own plate over to each twin, who greedily scoffed down their portions in one bite.

"merlin. do i need to make more sandwiches?" mrs weasley looked round the table, spotting all but two plates completely cleared of food.

"just very hungry this morning i think, molly." mr weasley entered the kitchen, dusting floo powder off of his shoulders. "y/n, i almost didn't see you there. how are you?"

"i'm doing well, mr weasley. how are thing at the ministry?" y/n smiled up at the man.

"oh, you don't want me to bore you with the details." mr weasley smiled once again, following mrs weasley into the kitchen. "you lot ought to get going soon. not much time to get everything we need."

mrs weasley started to gather up the plates with her wand, setting them in the sink where a sponge was bewitched to scrub them clear whilst they were away. y/n was still mesmerized by the open use of magic within the burrow, as was harry whose eyes were as wide as saucers. fred and george dragged the girl up out of her seat and into their living room, passing her one of mrs weasley's coats to wear.

"if you've bewitched this as well i will shove it so far up your arses you'll be chewing cotton for a week. got it?" y/n hissed at them, smiling innocently as mrs weasley passed them.

both twins gulped in unison and nodded their heads. mrs weasley grabbed the pot that sat on their fireplace mantle and ushered harry forward to go through the fireplace first. the bespeckled boy grabbed a handful of powder nervously and stepped down into the fireplace.

"now, you must speak very clearly harry, dear." mrs weasley nodded to the boy, stepping back to not be accidentally warped in with him.

harry breathed in a deep breath, preparing himself for the sensation of travelling by floo powder. he scattered the powder into the embers of flames below him and stepped forward.

"di-dia-gon alley." harry coughed through the cloud of powder and disappeared with a flash of the fireplace.

everyone in the room paused, looking at each other to check they had also heard what he had said.

"what did he say, dear?" mrs weasley turned to her husband.

"diagonally, i believe." mr weasley sighed, already knowing the boy who lived had turned up merlin knows where.

'shit.' y/n heard collectively in her from everyone in the room, trying her best to hide the laugh that was trying to break out.

it didn't take long for all of the weasleys and y/n to make their own way through the fireplace and walk out into the crowded streets of diagon alley. mrs weasley went off with ginny to get her wand, leaving mr weasley in charge of hunting down where harry had gotten lost. y/n suggested heading down towards gringotts, hoping that the boy had ended up in a grate not too far from there. their hopes were lifted as they spotted the large, looming figure of hagrid talking to a familiar pair.

"harry!" mr weasley shouted, coming to a halt in front of the soot-covered boy. "there you are. we'd hoped you hadn't gone too far. molly was so worried. she'll be on her way here soon."

"where'd you end up?" percy stuck his nose up at the soot his father was dusting off of harry's robes.

"knockturn alley." hagrid grumbled from behind the boy.

"brilliant." the twins grinned in delight, having never been allowed near the alley whilst with their parents.

"we've never been allowed in." ron grumbled, also jealous of the raven-haired boy.

"and you never will." y/n scoffed, side eyeing the ginger brothers. "you okay, harry?"

harry only nodded his head, spotting mrs weasley sprinting towards them with a ginny in tow. he was soon crushed into a tight hug by the woman, who continued to brush more and more soot off of the boy.

"oh we were so worried harry, dear." mrs weasley cupped his face, pulling off his askew glasses and tapping them with her wand. "there. good as new."

y/n smiled at the motherly moment, wishing she'd of had someone like mrs weasley in her life growing up. she thought back to her limited memories with her parents growing up, finding a shortage of moments that wasn't about her work. if her parents had spent as long talking about their work trips and office drama as they did about what was going on in their children's lives, maybe they would've noticed her visions sooner or figured out the real reasoning behind them before she left for hogwarts.

mr and mrs Weasley greeted hermione's parents before following them into gringotts. the muggle couple parted ways with them as they went over to exchange the money that they had brought with them. the weasley's took harry down with them into their vault, leaving the thompson girl to exchange her own bag of muggle money and meet her outside of the building.

as she waited, y/n's mind suddenly remembered the vision she had had that morning, wandering to the images of the weird tunnels she had never seen before. a dark notebook was the main focal point of most of her visions, the pages puzzlingly blank of any text. she jumped with a fright at the last image she had seen before being awoken by the twins; a large snake like creature hovering over her with its fangs bared ready to attack.

"y/n!" a voice startled her out of the visions of her mind by a voice she recognised.

"lee!" y/n smiled running up and hugging the gryffindor boy. "how have you been?"

"good. been enjoying the peace being away from fred and george." lee laughed, earning a knowing look from y/n .

"i am hurt, jordan." one of the twins gasped dramatically as they approached behind the duo.

"and to think, i considered you our greatest friend." george held his hand to his chest.

"rude." y/n raised her eyebrow at the pair, who grinned back at her feigning innocence.

"alright, we'll all meet back at flourish and botts to buy your books in an hour. and not one step down knockturn alley!" mrs weasley shouted, being dragged away by an overly excited ginny, but not before glaring pointedly at the twins.

"so, wanna stock up on fireworks in gambol and japes?" lee turned to the twins with an eager smile.

"you two go ahead, we'll catch up with you." fred nodded his head in the direction of the shop, pulling y/n aside.

george and lee walked away confused, muttering to each other about what the older twin wanted with the girl. y/n stared up at the boy in confusion as well, nervous what he was going to ask about.

"are you okay?" fred asked in the most sincere voice y/n had ever heard in the three years she had known him.

"am i- of course i'm okay, freddie." y/n smiled through the confusion. "why wouldn't i be?"

"oh, i don't know. maybe the fucking trance-like seizure me and george had to pull you out of thing morning." fred hushed his voice as passersby gave the couple odd stares.

y/n remained silent, not wanting to talk about what she had let the boys witness. it had been completely against her will, it had been one of the strongest visions she'd had since discovering what she truly was. she was only brought out of her mind spiral by fred's hands grasping firmly onto her shoulders.

"i won't pry further. But promise you'll come to us if it happens again, yeah?" fred looked deep into her eyes, only getting a nod in return before they were interrupted by the return of lee and george.

"done scheming without us?" lee raised his eyebrow, pocketing his bags of tricks from the shop. "where to next, ice cream at florean's?"

"we have a better idea." the twins grinned in unison, dragging the two behind them towards knockturn alley.

"no, no no no." y/n dug her feet into the ground, once again finding herself being chucked over the shoulder of one of the twins as the trio ran into the alley with a giggle.

when the twins, y/n and lee returned to diagon alley, they found themselves running to catch up with harry, ron and hermione who were just walking into flourish and botts. y/n was the first to enter the shop, screeching to a halt at the hordes of people mingling in the shop. the three boys behind her didn't have enough sense to notice and came to a much less graceful stop straight into y/n's back and sending all four of them tumbling to the ground.

"oh, there you three are! what are you doing on the floor? Up, Up!" mrs weasley voice called out to them as they dusted themselves off and stood up into the crowds of mostly women and teenage girls. "now, go get your books off of your father and I'll get them signed for you. just give arthur the money, y/n dear. we got yours for you as well whilst we were here."

"signed?" the twins asked in unison, being ushered away before they could ask any questions further.

"oh, mrs weasley you didn't have to buy them for me.  we were just on our way back anyways." y/n tried to hand the woman over her entire bag of coins but was refused with a signature molly weasley smile.

"you would've had to stand in that queue forever. it's no problem at all, dear. now go and get them from arthur before the twins do something to them." mrs weasley rolled her eyes at where the two tall boys were harassing their father into giving them y/n stack of books.

y/n swiftly made her way through the crowd, handing over the coins to mr weasley with a grateful smile and stood next to the twins. she had no idea what the crowds and lines of people were for but she knew sure a hell that she would be completely zoned out for all of it. her ears slowly became numb to the hustling of everyone around her, instead focusing in on the sound of her own heartbeat. she found that the more she focused in on herself and those close to her, the easier it became to control how much of their noise became her own.

fred and george found themselves leaning in closer to the girl next to them, feeling a sense of calm suddenly. they too became entranced in the silence that had formed suddenly. all movement around them seemed to blur, only focusing in on the sense of ease that had washed over them. the twins finally snapped out of their peace as mrs weasley ushered them to pass over their books to be signed by the blonde smiling man in the front of the shop. they ran forward as they spotted their father confronting lucius malfoy and his rat of a son draco.

y/n continued to stay in her trance, smiling to herself as she was able to properly focus in on all of the visions she'd had the past few days and not just the ones of the snake-like creature. images of her and the twins practicing quidditch in the weasley's garden flashed through her mind; her and ginny having a snowball fight in one of the hogwarts courtyards; her holding hands with a mystery figure. her mind buzzed with happiness for once instead of the usual fear that coursed through her when thinking back on her visions.

"y/n! we're leaving!" mrs weasley's voice cut through the fog of her mind, causing her to lose her footing slightly and bump into the person behind her.

"i-i'm so sorry." y/n turned to help them pick up their fallen books but was met with a scoff.

"don't touch that, you filthy little mudblood." the recognisably sneer voice of one draco malfoy hissed at her, collecting his books and shoving them into the extendable pocket of his robes.

"now, now draco. we're house mates remember? that any way to treat a fellow slytherin?" y/n gritted through her teeth, resisting the urge to do harm to the blonde slimeball.

draco only scoffed, muttering under his breath as he left to find his father about the state of hogwarts allowing in muggleborns. y/n huffed a breath, following the blonde boy out of the shop into the crowds and finding a group of ginger to the right of the door.

"there you are! we should get back. did you manage to get everything you needed y/n dear?" mrs weasley's face held an edge of annoyance to it, worrying the thompson girl that she'd irritated everyone by being so slow to leave the shop.

"y-yes. i got everything. thank you again for buying everything and for letting me come with you, mrs weasley." y/n nervously rambled, holding her stack of books tightly to her chest. "i should probably actually get back to mine before my parents get too worried."

y/n didn't give the weasley's a chance to utter a farewell before she was already halfway down diagon alley. she rushed through the leaky cauldron towards the only working fireplace and rambled out the long name of the wizard pub not far from her home. she felt her body twist awkwardly before the bustling image of the pub transformed into the familiar, much quieter one of the three castaways.

by the time that she'd trudged back to her home, all y/n wanted to do was flop onto her bed and never wake up again. but her siblings and parents seemed to have other ideas, as the second she entered through the front door she found herself being hounded with questions.

"where were you? we were worried sick!" nancy pushed past her husband to reach her daughter and pulled her into a tight hug.

"i stayed at fred and george's. i sent a letter, did it not arrive?" y/n pulled away slightly, knowing that the weasley's owl, errol, was notoriously awful at delivering letters successfully.

"that bird was not coming anywhere near these carpets." nancy scoffed, eyeing up where her youngest was sat watching television and messily eating a bowl of bolognese. "you spill that on the carpet and you'll be the one paying for new flooring, frederica."

"yes, mama." ricky's eyes didn't leave the screen.

nancy could only sigh, staring back at her eldest daughter with a worried smile. "next time, call home to let us know you're staying over."

"they don't have a phone. or at least one that's connected." y/n followed her mother through the doorway, sending her father a sorry smile and he remained silent.

"oh, honestly, what kind of people don't have a phone?" nancy went off into the kitchen in a huff, reheating the food she'd made earlier for the rest of the family.

y/n felt guilty as she looked over at her siblings who were sat around the living room, poking at their untouched bowls of food. only ricky was hungrily eating her food, the youngest being unbothered by the return of her sister.

"sorry if i worried you all." y/n muttered, hiking her books bag further up her shoulder. "i'm not really that hungry, mama. i'm just gonna head to bed."

she didn't give her family any time to try to stop her, instead running up the two flights of stairs to her room. she flopped down onto her bed, sighing as she was finally away from all the noise in her mind. she had hoped that once she'd started at hogwarts that all of her problems would go away, that the voices and visions would stop. but it seems that they only got stronger.

a bang on her window made the girl jump and fall off the side of her bed. looking up toward the window she found errol rustling his feathers as he pecked rapidly at the closed window. y/n rolled her eyes at the small package attached to his claws. she opened the window halfway, allowing the owl to fly down onto her windowsill. errol pecked expectantly at her hands as they tried to untie the parcel wrapped round his leg, earning a small handful of owl treated to be chucked at his feet.

it didn't take long for y/n to untie the package before the bird was clumsily flying back out of her window and into the grey clouds ahead. she unwrapped the parcel cautiously having a feeling who had sent her it.

her thoughts were proven correct as three cornish pixies threw themselves at her face as soon as the box was opened. she screeched, throwing the creatures out of the window and closing the box hastily. attached to the box was a small letter, in chicken-scrawl writing there was the words 'careful. pixies inside'.

of course it was them, she thought.

on the back of the note was a much more legible note, 'happy early birthday y/n . we hope you don't break your present from the pixies. see you in two weeks! - gred and forge.'

she chuckled to herself at the use of the nicknames they had used on themselves since first year. carefully reopening the box, she smiled at the sight of a delicate silver ring and a handful of her favourite wizard sweets. the ring seemed to have a small snake design that wrapped around the whole band, intricately carved scales all over. another note sat at the bottom of the box, intriguing her. 'thank your uncle roger for finally giving back what was rightfully yours.'

she gasped as she remembered a vision of someone wearing the exact ring she held in her hands. her grandmother had worn this exact ring to her parent's wedding, a memory she had found from falling asleep near her mother one night. the woman never seemed to remove the ring, having worn it in every one of the few photos her mother kept of her. she couldn't imagine the troubles the twins had gone through to find this, noting to herself to thank them profusely when she saw them next.

in the very bottom of the box sat one final envelope, her name written nearly across the top. she happily opened the envelope, revealing a card with all of the weasley's faces on the front from christmas morning last year. she giggled at the sight of the twin's bleary eyes and ron's own already shut and snoring. as she opened the card to read inside, a cloud of glitter burst out at her and continued to fall to the floor with seemingly no end.

"knew those two were being too sentimental." y/n hissed, placing the card back in the box and hoping that the glitter would eventually run out.

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

What do you think about Cerise in season 6?

For those not up to date on canon, Cerise is Lila's new name. As far as we know, it is just another fake identity. Her real name is still not know. Where she came from is still not known. Her motivations are still not known. For the sake of saving us all a headache, I'm just going to keep calling her Lila.

I'm writing this post after four five season six episodes have aired (episodes 2 thru 5 plus 11 to be specific). I haven't watched these episodes, but I did read the transcripts that are out on the wiki and I've picked up on details second hand from the few fandom blogs I follow. From everything I've heard, read, and seen, civilian Lila isn't really in season six? She makes brief cameos where she's scribbling in a notebook and saying vague threatening lines, but she doesn't interact with anyone or tell us anything new about her character. Almost all of her screen time goes to Chrysalis, her villain form. I like the way Chrysalis is written. She feels more manipulative than Gabriel which makes her feel more interesting:

Chrysalis: Hello, Maya. Forgive my intrusion, but, I seem to feel a huge disappointment. No one's interested in your drawings when they're so pretty! Do you feel ignored? Like no one sees you? Maya: Yes. It's no fair! Chrysalis: I think I know what would be fitting. For no one to be able to ignore your drawings anymore. I can give you this power. Only if you agree, of course. Maya: Yes! (stands up) Chrysalis: And what should I call you? Maya: The Illustrhater!

But her being more interesting is just an illusion. Nothing meaningful has changed. Gabriel's tactics got the job done so who cares if Lila is a little better at manipulating people? She could have Gabriel's skills and nothing about season six would change. Her tactics aren't leading to better akumas so who cares if she sounds cooler and won't tell people her name?

Yeah, that's apparently a thing in season six. Lila is being a little smarter about her identity than Gabriel was. The Illustrhater has Marinette acting like this is a big deal:

Marinette: Nothing! We know nothing! It's even worse than before! Alya: (yawning briefly) Is that so bad? I mean, we didn't know a lot about Monarch either, but he still got busted. Marinette: That's not true! We know lots of things about Monarch! He was an adult male, he akumatized 212 people in total, 99.8 percent of them in Paris. His goal was to seize Cat Noir's and my Miraculous so he'd be granted one wish. Now we have a supervillain we know nothing about, who akumatizes whomever, whenever, and who knows why! This is a disaster!

But when you get down to it, none of this ever mattered. Marinette's limited knowledge didn't lead to Gabriel's identity being outed. Gabriel's identity was outed by shear dumb luck and someone else handing Marinette the answers, so this isn't a case where Marinette has to come up with new tactics to find the villain because her old tactics no longer work. She never had any tactics to begin with!

Tracking down the butterfly would be new behavior for her character so I don't care that Chrysalis is "better hidden." It's not selling me on watching the show. Chrysalis' name being unknown just feels like an indicator of how little the writers had to work with to make her feel more threatening. There's basically nothing the writers can do to actually make her a bigger villain and so they're left with meaningless displays that the characters have to directly say are big deal to try and make the audience think that Lila is a bigger threat.

They can't just make her a bigger threat by having her do something new because Gabriel was willing to do anything to win. That makes it almost impossible for Lila to be an upgrade. What's she going to do, threaten Adrien? Akumatize Adrien? Try to akumatize Marinette? Try to break up Adrienette? Oh no! How evil! We definitely haven't seen that before...

It's not even like her tactics are harder to resist. Episode four already featured an akuma rejection:

Chrysalis: Hello. Forgive my intrusion, but..I sense a great deal of guilt preventing you from making friends. Sabrina: NO!! (breaks the connection with Chrysalis, rejecting her akumatization, as the ultrakuma flew back out)

And, while the heroes don't know this for sure, the audience already knows that Chrysalis is once again after the ladybug and the black cat because of course she is:

Chrysalis: On the other hand, if you give me Ladybug and Cat Noir's Miraculous, I'll let you keep it... forever!

Remind me, why should I care that she replaced Gabriel?

Outside of that, I think it's kind of telling that civilian Lila is barely in the show even though she's the big bad. The writers never knew how to write her well and so going the route of keeping her off screen is probably the only way to play her. I'm curious how many episodes will see her civilian form interact with so much as a single member of the main cast. My guess is not many. Get ready for a boat load of delaying tactics where the show tries to make things feel important while maintaining the status quo and keeping everything about Lila a secret.

Her character's motivation not being known worked when she first showed up, but now? It just feels like the writers don't know what they're doing. Sure, season six is a soft reboot, but it's still season six and she's been here since season one. We should know her goals by now! Hinting that she's planning something without ever giving those hints any substance just screams, "there's no actual substance! Gabriel was the better villain!"

Cerise (voiceover): Nothing. Nothing! You'll know nothing about me, about us, about them. I'm everywhere. I'm nowhere! I'm a chameleon. Nowhere! You won't get anywhere...

Sure, babe. Sure. You're super threatening and totally not just a knockoff Gabriel. I'm sure your motivations will blow us out of the water once they're revealed. After all, the reveal of your three mothers was just so amazing! Best writing in the show by far! (that was sarcasm)

Only thing that could kind of fix this is if Lila got a team or larger organization she was working with, but I'd be really disappointed if that's where the show is going. Once again, it's season six and she's been here since season one! The time to set that kind of thing up was at least two seasons ago. Without so much as a hint that such a thing exists, the introduction of it would feel like the writers are just pulling shit out of their ass and that is not the kind of story I enjoy. All my favorite stories have clear evidence that the writers had a plan from day one and stuck to it, making something beautiful. I think it's abundantly clear that Miraculous will never be that kind of story.

Fun fact: by random luck, this post was originally scheduled for the 21st, the day episode 11 aired. I delayed it a day to see if civilian Lila finally interacted with someone or revealed her goals, giving me something to comment on. Surprising no one, she still isn't really in the show. Place your bets on how long it's going to be before civilian Lila gets a motivation or even just a chance to interact with the cast! My money is on late season six at the earliest.

(Feel free to let me know if I missed something about Lila's presence in season six. The transcripts aren't out for all the episodes so it's entirely possible that she's done something I don't know about. I just didn't want to make anon wait longer since this ask is already a month old.)

[worstqueerbaittournament]

Submission message for Klance: howdy, would like to submit keith and lance from voltron (lmao)

Submission message for Bechloe: Beca and Chloe from Pitch Perfect (mainly Beca but Bechloe was the ship they baited the most)

Additional propaganda Klance: Now Keith and Lance on the other hand was a whole fucking mess that they then shoehorned in an hetero romance to try and "fix it" but by lord it was bad, everything about voltron is so fucking bad

Anyway this is my Klance propaganda : They were actually bait

Klance's queer baiting by the team was the worst!! We had to deal with NETFLIX ALSO GETTING IN ON THE QUEER BAITING!! If you searched up Kkance during the times for season 6-8, the SHOW WOULD POP UP. The directors would make jokes about it being canon, even Lance's VA got in the joke!

Their queer baiting was the worst for anyone who was even looking for an ounce of queer rep in that show. The only queer rep we got was a man who died after not even 5 minutes on screen, and shoehorned in the credit scene of a gay wedding of a character that was neither Keith nor Lance.

I do not know Agatha and Sophie, so I can't argue that klance was bigger bait or not, I just know voltron was mean lmao. the creators said stuff like "lance will be someone's first choice!" (meaning NOT ending up in a relationship with allura bc she very much chose another guy over him) and heavily implying he would be Keith's 1st choice (or a guy in general bc of point number 2). point number 2: they also released official art showing how super cool and diverse the main cast was! race! gender! LGBT - they had shiro (who was......canon gay but that's a whole other can of worms) and lance hold the sign with LGBT on it and then did absolutely nothing with that w lance at all (he hit on allura, so obvi he's not gay, but at least bi or smt) (UNLESS you count the scenes where he's flirty with keith). I just remember going into the last few seasons being like "klance probably won't be happen be honest with yourself there's like no queer kids shows!! but damn like it so could tho!!! because of how much it's been teased both in the show and by showrunners like I can't have no hope with the way the producers talk about it!" lmao I should have had no hope, but i genuinkey believed there was a possibility it could happen. and actually I discovered after the fact that i think one of the writers for the show who was the main advocate for klance (they had a lot of diff writers for eps, which led to lots of character butchering but ANYWAY) left not terribly long into the show I believe bc he didn't like the direction it was moving in and didn't want to be tied to the show anymore. so it's not like fans just made klance up either - it was written into earlier episodes with the hope and plan to continue developing later, and then just nothing ever happened with it besides INTENSE teasing it to keep queer fans around. esp after shiro's relationship was literally only a flashback and then his fiance thing or whatever got blown up before we even got to watch him interact w shiro as we knew him in present time in s7, so I think they kept being like hmmm klance and the stuff about lance being a first choice before s8 to keep ppl around. also esp bc klancers made up such a big portion of the fan base. then they made a horrible szn and ended it w a flashforward to shiro marrying some random background character who maybe had 1 line? I just remember hitting the flashforward and being like uhhhh who is this dude??? but they did that to hit those diversity points wow first gay marriage in a cartoon or smt idk it doesn't count to me really. so anyway voltron in general is queerbait lol but klance is because it started out as a legit possibility and then they said sike! but only maybe sike bc u guys are mad at us burying our guys in s7 so maybe klance could still happen haha okay now we're serious no it's not happening. anyway I think klance is p bad queerbait and a vote for them is a valid vote, not just u liking the ship.

Here is my really boring and incredibly dry argument for #KLANCESWEEP:

There are countless examples of the Voltron showrunners queerbaiting when it comes to Klance. I will leave that argument and discussion to others. Instead, I would like to focus on why/how I believe Klance is the more significant instance of queerbaiting, despite Johnlock's queerbaiting being markedly more famous.

Queerbaiting is when a shows teases/hints at a character(s) being queer, but then never actually follows through on making the character LGBTQ+. Queerbaiting is, above all, a marketing technique; the show dangles the possibility of a queer romance in order to "bait"  a queer/ally audience into watching, and then continues to dangle or drag out the possibility of a same-sex romance in order to keep their audience hooked and continuously profited off. Queerbaiting takes advantage of peoples' hope and optimism, and that's why the betrayal stings so deeply once the queerbaiting is realized.

I argue that one of the major components of queerbaiting is that the show/writers must never explicitly confirm that there will NOT be queer romance. Queerbaiting is only sustained so long as the illusion of possibility persists.

Now, there are plenty of nuances to this.

If a showrunner comes out and explicitly states that there will be no queer representation in the show, this statement alone does not absolve the show of any queerbaiting it previously did. But, it DOES blur the lines for what can reasonably be defined as "actual" versus "willful" queerbaiting and subtext in the show going forward.

okay let me drop the pseudo-academic tone and just put it bluntly. what i'm trying to say is that, if a showrunner explicitly says "NO GAY ROMANCE," but the show's audience continues to insist and read for gay subtext anyway, and then the audience feels betrayed when the show ends with no queer romance --- at a certain point, wouldn't you argue that it's the fans that are actually baiting themselves, and not the show itself? this is what i mean by "willful" subtext.

As early as 2010 (this article/interview was posted the day of the first episode), the Sherlock showrunners explicitly stated that there would be no romantic relationship between Sherlock and Watson. Between 2010 and 2016, the showrunners repeatedly stated in multiple interviews that Johnlock would never happen.

I am 100% aware that I was drinking nothing but Kool-Aid while Voltron aired. I absolutely baited myself with desperate hope each season. But, in my weak defense, the flames of my Klance delusions were very much flamed by the promises made by the Voltron showrunners, who repeatedly floated the promise of queer representation in the show and spoke about Klance in the same breath. Klancers didn't bait themselves out of thin air; they desperately clung to the rope the Voltron writers threw us, and we were pulled in: hook, line, and sinker.

-

TLDR:

Queerbaiting involves willful deception and deliberate misinformation on the part of a showrunner/show.

If a showrunner encourages a queer ship, or makes vague promises of queer representation, then it reasonable for the show's audience to assume that a queer romance will happen. When a queer romance does not happen, this is clear-cut queerbaiting.

But if a showrunner explicitly states that a show will not have a major queer romance, then the show's audience should reasonably assume that the show will not have the queer ship they favor. If shippers continue to insist that their ship will come to fruition, and continue to pin their hopes on their ship, then the lines between who is actually baiting whom become very blurred.

Johnlock fans knew going into the show that John and Sherlock would never have an explicitly queer relationship. Fans continued to read for subtext, and maintained hope. The lines of queerbaiting become blurred, as it was not entirely clear if the show was actually baiting its shippers, or if fans were the ones baiting themselves.

In contrast, Klance fans were repeatedly encouraged by the showrunners, Netflix's marketing, and to some extent the VAs that Klance was possible (and that queer representation would firmly happen), and so Klance shippers were repeatedly strung along each season, up until the final season when Lance and Allura started dating and the Klance ship was torpedoed once and for all. (Do not talk to me about post-canon Klance, I am willfully defiant.) This is a firmly clear-cut case of queerbaiting.

In summary, Klance is the more textbook case of queerbaiting. It matches all the elements of queerbaiting: there was the willful deception by the showrunners, which encouraged Klance shippers specifically to hang onto the show, allowing Voltron to profit off its Klance audience. It's true that Klance shippers also continuously baited and deluded ourselves; but in our defense, we were following the example and promises set by the show itself.

Additional propaganda Bechloe: Ok for a little propaganda, since you may have forgotten pitch perfect, I want you all to know I first saw it as a 16-17 year old at gay youth group and can you imagine my fucking surprise and bafflement when they werent lesbians. Like basically thru the whole movie I was like “fun lesbian film nothing out of place just waiting for them to actually be gay” I know this was mostly the youth group organizers fault but I still think pitch perfect should have to answer for their crimes

I could talk so much about this but I want to point specifically to this promo for pitch perfect 3:

Bechloe - Pitch Perfect 3 Promo

Bechloe is REAL!

YouTube

and they then proceeded to give chloe an absolutely godawful love interest and like really overdid it (they also tried to give beca one too but anna kendrick was having NONE of that)

IIRC, Beca and Chloe were supposed to be lesbians but Universal vetoed it and made them give Beca a male love interest. Whether that changes things is up to you.

Even more Klance propaganda under the cut:

@klanced pretty well summarizes why Voltron was *more* queerbaity, but I think we should also consider what it means to be *worse.*

Make no mistake, the Sherlock team was.... for lack of a better term.... almost gaslight-y in their press, by disregarding the subtext that they themselves had written. But they were consistent. And their messages as showrunners did bear through, even as they were being cruel. Most importantly, Sherlock never needed the people they were baiting, so they could act aloof. That distance was horrible, but nothing like Voltron.

The relationship between Voltron and its fans was toxic, parasitic. Voltron couldn't have stayed around for that long without dragging its queer-baited audience behind it. It was a Netflix show, and those are always so close to the hangman's axe. It was the online fervor that sustained it.

And so, they had to appease the fans, pay the piper. But they had their own ideas for how the story would bear out, and each creator wanted something differently. In the end, they consistently used marketing tactics to imply something that could have been possible, if not for distinct creative voices that instead weakened the queer stories until they were watery piss.

Anyway, this was rambling. Vote Voltron for dangling queer alignment and ambiguity. Vote Voltron for pretending to be an ally. Vote Voltron for the stupid fucking LGBTQ banner that has Lance on it. Johnlock hurt, in a distant way, but Klance was worse.

I actually said this earlier on a different post, but I'll say it here too:

Its completely reasonable to think Klance was originally planned. Their interactions in the early seasons seemed a little too romantically coded to be something completely made up by fans. Thats why Klance was so popular, because it seemed all too possible.

However, when Dreamworks forced the creative team to change the story in order to keep Shiro alive instead of permanently killing him off like they originally planned, their entire story got fucked over. Seasons 3 and 4 were too far into production to stop and completely redo them, it would have been too expensive, even though it was the logical course of action. Instead, the producers had to make serious last minute changes to the story in order to keep Shiro in the picture. As a result, Shiro and Keith's switched places in the show, and Keith was almost completely written out of seasons 4-6 because Shiro was never supposed to be there. Any and all possible plans for any sort of development between Keith and Lance were thrown out the window because Keith wasn't there.

But as previously said, Voltron wouldn't have survived until the end without the rabid and feral online Klance fandom. The writing was very rapidly going to shit because there wasn't enough time to properly rewrite seasons 3 and 4 in order to meet Dreamworks' demands, and every season that followed suffered because of the decisions made for seasons 3 and 4. Everything was being improvised, and the storyboards for season 8 weren't finished until MARCH 2018 because of how behind schedule they were.

(I feel like the creative team don't get enough credit. Sure the show was a MASSIVE flop but their working conditions were less then ideal. Its impressive they got anything done on time due to the constantly changing ideas.)

The VLD producers knew that the Klance fandom was the only thing keeping the show alive, and continued to use Klance as bait until the very end. The VLD producers willingly enabled the notoriously toxic and violent Klance fandom with thumbnails and HotTopic merch, and allowed it to reach a point that the lives of their cast and crew were being threatenedby the rabid Klance fandom, just to get the ratings they needed to stay afloat.

THATS the disgusting part of all this. Whether Klance was originally planned as endgame or not, the producers used its popularity to keeping their already declining show running at the expense of the safety of their cast and crew.

I know next to nothing about BBC's Sherlock and Johnlock and whatever, but what the VLD producers did was sinister. Putting their creative team through both production and online HELL for some ratings, and it blew up in the most humiliating way possible. They did alllllll that, just to get one of the worst endings to an animated series of all time. Literally everyone hates them for what Voltron became, putting the lives of their creative team in danger was for nothing.

And obviously the producers can't completely blamed for the show's outcome, Dreamworks ruined their original plans. But continuing to use Klance as a marketing tactic while your fans are getting out of control and your creative team is being put in danger is just appalling. It was in their power to tell the Klance fandom Klance wasn't endgame, and that probably would have quelled the fire, but instead, with every season, they threw more and more gasoline into the dumpster fire.

So if you haven't already, vote Klance in this poll.

(I'm linking my source for all this info here. Its a video essay that I totally recommend watching. Super duper interesting.)

[antlrrqueen]

finale thoughts

s3ep10 yj spoilers below

(i originally wrote this the morning after i watched it, but added more today.)

i have a LOT to say.

first of all. I PREDICTED SO MUCH. TAI EATING VAN'S HEART. CALLIE ACCIDENTALLY(ish) KILLING LOTTIE. AN ACTUAL LOTTIE DEATH SCENE. SHAUNA ANTLER QUEEN.

yall were so mad about so much that happened this season, only to be proven wrong and/or given what you wanted later on. that's the thing about this show, about tv, about WEEKLY EPISODES. you need to wait. the story needs to unfold! although it hasn't been perfect, you CANNOT call it bad writing and swear the show off just because your favorite character died. or because you don't learn everything right away. lottie's death was supposed to be a mystery, and we got EVERYTHING we wanted in her scene in the finale. it was explained, of course it was!! i'm not saying that lottie's fate and story this season was perfect, it had flaws, but also - this is the show where everybody dies, and they can die any way. you can be upset about it, but at a certain point, maybe don't be super surprised.

a theme this season was things getting blown out of proportion, and that directly leads into misleading the fans and causing them to wonder and think and theorize.

i think it's really interesting to think about which adult survivors got the plane scene. nat and van had the plane scene because of the way they died and the POV, but i also believe that the plane was shuttling them back to the wilderness. they tried to leave, to escape it, but they never could.

i think that lottie didn't get a plane scene because 1. we don't see her death in real time and from her perspective, so it would be difficult to execute and wouldn't make sense. 2. lottie never left the wilderness. she didn't need to be shuttled back. up to her LAST MOMENT she was fully in it, fully attached to it.

also, it's so so fucking cool to see the pit girl scene finally, actually unfold. because at first, it seems like it's a misdirect! but no, everything falls into place. things go where they need to, mari takes her clothes off to blend in, giving it even more of a ritualistic appearance. we don't see all of the dialogue and conflict that's actually happening in this scene, because it's meant to set the show up, AND because in the pilot, it's fully from mari's POV!

(and it's meant to mislead us)

and also, at least for me, something that i always always wondered about was the logistics of the pit. it was assumed that the pit was something that was planned by the group for this exact reason. and i always wondered: why didn't pit girl know about the pit if she was one of the girls?

especially after learning from s2 that the draw was random, how did she not know??! and/or how much prep time did they have before the hunt??

but the answer is: almost none of them knew about the pit! if anything, a/THE reason that mari fell into the pit was because she was taking the same route that she took running away from camp at the beginning of the season.

+ on the topic of writing and the writers, it pisses me off like CRAZY how everyone's attacking the writers. yes, it hasn't always been good! but ALSO! don't fucking say you hate the writers and want to kill them or whatever because they killed lottie or van or mari or made shauna AQ. they are writing the fucking show. your favorite character isn't always going to stay alive. you cannot be a brat. please, bring up valid arguments! but don't just swear off the writers because van didn't survive the entire fucking show.

A DEATH HAPPENS IN THE SHOW IF IT NEEDS TO HAPPEN. THERE ARE REASONS THAT DEATHS HAPPEN.

mari has been dead from the start, she's been pit girl from the start, and she had amazing time on the show! (character-wise). and did so fucking well! fuck, i mean mari's one of my favorites, and i'm honestly glad she was pit girl. her death had meaning, it was one of the deaths with the MOST meaning in the show. you're allowed to be upset. but be upset for valid reasons, or just because you're sad your favorite is dead.

it does not always need to be this serious. calm down, you guys.

and i keep saying this, but i feel like i need to keep saying this so i'm not ripped to shreds; you can still have criticisms of the show! there are things that this show, this season, hasn't done right. but you also need to let things play out, you need to look at the bigger picture and think for a second before blowing up. things take time, and characters are put on the show to create the show, move the plot forward, and for us to watch. sometimes that means that they have to die. sometimes it even makes a character more interesting, more tragic!

the show cannot go exactly how you want it to. you need to accept that.