#i really cant recommend making art for yourself honestly

[monstrousproductions]

im listening to monstrous agonies while i do some boring copy-paste work and not to toot my own horn but.... it's pretty fuckin good lol

[corpsepng]

Pls make a list of books you recommend to aspiring writers<3

Ok. Aspiring/burgeoning writer starter kit:

In writing anything you officially become a writer so that’s step one haha, no need to aspire too much. BUT. I’m going to soapbox for a bit using this ask as an excuse love u kissing u etc. So. This will barely be about books, but sort of the recipe of what I (personally and subjectively) think will help anyone who wants to grow their craft. (I know because I've been writing seriously for 14 years)

The act of writing is the best practice you can get but having a well from which to draw on creatively and skill wise in order to DO that practice is the trickier part. And sometimes we can be found lacking because we’re either NOT refilling that well enough, consciously enough, or only with the same sorts of things so it gets stagnant. This is a long one so I’ll shove it under the cut haha.

The recipe:

Study craft

Broaden horizons 

Diversify consumption

Consume with intention

Apply with reference

1) Study craft: this is the easiest to make sense of, right? I want to get good at writing so I read books about writing yada yada. Whatever you’re writing, it’s made up of a lot of moving parts, and you can dedicate time studying EACH PART, but figure out what you have the least experience with, or the most difficulty with, and start there. Also, before I go on to preach about why you shouldn’t solely stake your growth on some dusty old books, here’s some dusty old books I recommend:

The Elements of Style (strunk/white/kalman) (really quick and abbreviated advice, read every bit of this but remember: rules are important to know so you can decide which are worth following and which are in need of breaking for the pursuit of your goals. And nobodies perfect, or editors wouldn’t have a job)

Bird by Bird (Anne Lamott) (excellent work about fostering a process, important for everyone who finds themselves a little lost on how to just. Start)

Wonderbook (Jeff Vandermeer) (I haven’t read this one but knowing Vandermeers work this is on my TBR and I KNOW it’s going to be enlightening)

How to Read Literature like a Professor (Thomas C. Foster) (perfect for those who can see others stories working but unsure how to make their own work, I personally didn’t read much of this one but this will help people to more critically engage with what they’re consuming)

Save the Cat Writes a Novel/Joseph Campbells Hero’s Journey/On Writing and Worldbuilding/etc (all of these are on structure and craft in a concrete sense), I would recommend either choose one OR getting the abbreviated/digestible versions through YouTube because a lot of these can repeat themselves. I’m working on a playlist of writing craft/structure videos that I found helpful, so keep an eye out for that)

So. Studying craft should be a multidisciplinary process. Articles online, videos on niche media, books on craft or copying things from your favorites, looking for yourself in the movies you watch or fiction you read. Punctuation, prose, structure, rhetoric, character, world building, pacing, etc. Unfortunately, no matter how seasoned you become as a writer, you will always be learning new things about the craft itself.

It should be fun and I honestly feel like an enlightened little scientist when I see something that really cracks the open the magic for me (ex: scenes that serve more than one purpose are OF COURSE going to be more engaging that scenes with only one purpose- duh) (of COURSE magic systems should have a cost) (of COURSE the characters cant always win OR always lose)

2) Broaden horizons: consuming fiction and studying it is key to knowing how to reproduce it. We start with the training wheels of imitation before we ride away full speed into truly unique original storytelling. But the most impactful and thought-provoking stories are more than just fiction, so you need to know more than stories. Science, history, art, craft, math, music, cooking, psychology, religion, whatever!

Everyone always parrots “write what you know”, but what you KNOW can expand to influence what you write- so keep learning new things all the time and for fun, because you never know what could help your story. Your knowledge is not limited to experience alone, and research is your best friend. ASOIAF was so loved because George RR Martin loved not only fantasy, but British history. The Folk of the Air series is so loved because Holly Blacks special interest is faeries.

Note: this does not mean the study of OTHER PEOPLES trauma and experiences in an appropriative way, rather, become worldly. Because sure, knowing what a gunshot feels like adds realism, but I don’t care about realism if I don’t care about your characters or world. Science fiction is the best example of this: so many of those stories stick with us generationally because they’re pointing a lens back at humanity, asking big philosophical questions with science, which is something that touches us all.

But it doesn’t even need to be Big and Thematic like that. My dear friend @chaylattes has a project where she’s applied her love of plants to the world building AND plot, and has INVENTED whole plant species that enriched their work with something so exclusively Chay. No one else could write Andromeda Rogue because Chay, with specific interests and knowledge, put that specificity into the story.

3) Diversify consumption: surrounding yourself with more of the same means you’re going to regurgitate the same, derivatively. To be a hater for a moment: I can tell within the first chapter if someone only reads/watches one kind of media (m*rvel, fairy smut, grim dark nonsense, etc), and it’s distracting. When I read that derivative work, I’m not thinking about THEIR story. All I can think of is the people who did it first, and better.

Alternatively, the best work draws on the unexpected. Fantasy work taking notes from horror, science fiction including humanistic romance, romance with elements of mystery. RF Kuangs work feels so smart because she’s literally a PHD candidate who’s reading of academic writing. Cassandra Clares work is so interpersonally messy and hard to look away from because she watches a lot of reality television. 

Genre is less a set of cages to lock yourself inside of and more so the sections of a great big fictional playground- and you need to start playing. Rules, again, are guidelines that can be bent for the sake of your stories. I predominantly write scifi/fantasy/horror but some of my favorite stuff is literary fiction, historical nonfiction, thrillers, and poetry.

And if you can’t bring yourself to read different genres, it takes significantly less effort to WATCH different genres. Television and film are stories too, and can absolutely be learned from. 

4) Consume with intention: this is easier said than done. I, embarrassingly, admit that I did not have any reading comprehension skills until I was at least 19. I was consuming, but I wasn’t thinking a damn critical thought, just spitting it back out in a way that sounded smart.

Critical thinking skills (I say, on the website that historically lacks such a thing) are a muscle that needs to be exercised just as often as your writing muscle. Reading new work, studying craft, learning new shit- none of it matters if you can’t APPLY it all to a story. One can take a clock apart to learn how exactly it ticks, but it won't tell time like a watch until you put it back together.

The key is asking questions, all of the time about everything. That whole “why the curtains were blue” nonsense comes to mind, but if you want to be a good writer, (edit: a writer that cares about whether or not their work is vapid imitation of better work) learning to ask WHY the curtains are blue really does matters.

Ask why in ALL stories you consume, including your own. Why do Ghibli films make me feel calm? (Motifs of undisturbed nature, low stakes plots and quiet scenes of reprieve between action, characters that care about one another and aren’t afraid to show it) Why do I fly through a Gillian Flynn novel but take 8,000 years to read other books? (Concise descriptions, realistic but evocative premise, witty voice, contained and fast paced plot, an abundance of questions driving the mystery leading up to a satisfying crash of answers at the end) Why were the curtains blue, the coffee cup chipped, and the lipstick stain on the rim red instead of purple or pink? And why did the colors matter at all when the scene is about a father at a kitchen table? (You tell me!) Answers may vary.

You can put the work into learning the answer at the source (ie: listening to authors talk about their own work), or through the external interpretations of a critic (proceed with caution here), sure. These are even good when learning HOW to think critically if you don’t even know where to start. But your growth as a writer depends on your ability to answer your OWN questions. 

(Why do I feel tense in this scene? Is it because the character says they’re sweating and struggling to breathe? Is it because I’ve been told the monsters close? Is it because the sentences are getting shorter and the author keeps repeating descriptions of that monsters massive bloody teeth coming closer? Or is it because I know the gun in her hands has no bullets because another character already tried what she’s about to try?)

(Why do I feel sad in this scene? Is it because the characters mom just died? Is it because the character can’t even verbalize that sadness to others? Is it because none of the other characters seem to care enough to ask? Is it because of the wilted flowers in the corner? Or is it because there are daisies in the bouquet, and those were the moms favorite?)

I can nod and smile at 1000 opinions about “why X did Y and the end of Z” or “why X is Y and not Z” but how I felt when I consume something, how I was affected and how it made ME PERSONALLY answer my critical questions, that’s what’s important. That’s how we manufacture gay subtext in everything, because sometimes gay is a feeling as opposed to a fact.

Also, if those subjective answers are inconsistent among readers/viewers, the writer likely had their own intentions a little muddled. So, and I know I’m getting tangential but stay with me: romance. You know how you’re supposed to feel happy or convinced that the people falling in love are like, in love? And want to put yourself in that position or whatever? I CANNOT consume most romance media because it all comes off as categorically terrifying to me. I ask myself why the characters are doing what they do, reacting the way they react, saying way they say, and none of it feels romantic. I want to file a restraining order, and that’s the failing of the author, who did not make enough conscious choices in their work and accidentally created horror while writing their color by numbers trope slop of a “romance” novel. 

5) Apply with reference: is like taking all your ingredients and finally cooking. You want people to notice and respect when you add certain literary devices, descriptions, character choices, but not to the detriment of your work. Shows like stranger things are popular but divisive because their intertextuality and reliance on nostalgia bolster an otherwise unoriginal idea. They weren’t trying to reinvent the wheel, they were writing a love letter to Stephen Spielberg, and are riding that wave into the ground. But the fairy dick renaissance doesn’t feel nearly as palatable as season one of stranger things did because a lot of times they aren’t using the ingredients in their own way, rather, following the recipe to a T and selling it as new. Food really is the perfect metaphor and sorry in advance because I’m really going to run with it here lol. 

When I eat a meal, first of all I know I'm eating food, so don't try and trick me into thinking otherwise or I'll only get annoyed. I want to be able to taste all of what’s in front of me, spice, salt, sweet, bitter, etc and know what what you said you've fed me is really actually truly what I've eaten. One ingredient, or writing choice, shouldn’t overpower another, or surprise me so much I can’t take another bite. I shouldn’t try something you call “sauced and baked yeast patty garnished with fermented milk and smoked meat” and think “this shits pizza” because you didn’t even try to jazz it up more than what the instructions on the digiorno box said. I also shouldn’t bite into something you call a pizza and only taste bread because you really like bread and forgot that a pizza is more than just bread. 

But inversely, avoiding all ingredients gets you weird, nary inedible shit like charred milk reduction with lamb mist or whatever. Show me you have knowledge in your genre by referencing it AND remixing it, show me that you studied craft by foreshadowing properly or pacing well, show me you’re more than an AI writerbot by deepening your work with your unique and human influence, show me you read broadly by adding surprising ingredients, and show me that you mean every word you write because you made the curtains blue instead of yellow, and topped your pizza with pepperoni instead of pineapple.

Congrats on making it all the way through my rambling, hope I made sense and that this helped!

[broomsick]

Is it alright if I ask you for some guidance on connecting with the Norse pantheon? I'm entering into a really scary time in my life, grappling with going to college in the city despite being (up until now) a lifelong country bumpkin and possibly even moving out for the first time, all while being a timid autistic person with a terrible anxiety disorder.

Basically if there's ever a time I'd need the gods to be present in my life it's now, but I still struggle to feel connected with them sometimes. I still connect with them, I've had dreams where I talk with Odin and Thor and Freyr, but I can't say they're a completely consistent part of my life. Sometimes I even question if they're really protecting me, even though I know that's almost certainly the anxiety talking.

Is there anything you'd recommend doing to connect with the gods during a really stressful time? I have a very small and honestly not very impressive altar so maybe I should work to spruce that up more. Any guidance would be appreciated, sorry for bothering you 🙏 Thanks!

Hi there! First of all, I want to tell you that moving out is indeed scary, and it's very brave of you to consider moving so far! I definitely understand your situation, as I haved struggled with anxiety pretty much forever. Unfortunately, being a pagan with this sort of mental health challenge can bring about a lot of insecurity. And I find that sometimes, it can also make us feel disconnected from our spirituality. I don't think that this is something we can completely overcome. As a matter of fact, I find that it's better to ask yourself "why do I feel this way right now?", rather than say "I should be feeling this way, so why don't I?". What I learned with time is that our day-to-day circumstances affect our spirituality more than we think. For example, I often start to feel disconnected from my spiritual life when I've had a stressful week at work, or even just when I try too long and too hard to connect with the Gods. And on top of that, with social media being the way it is, people cant help but compare themselves with pagans who have more time and money on their hands. Now, I'm no expert on all things psychology, but I do know about spirituality. And I know that it comes and goes in waves: every single polytheist I've met experiences moments when they don't feel as connected to their Gods as they used to. Even those whose very career was tied to their spiritual practices. But those are not bad news! It only means that you have a healthy relationship with spirituality, and that you're not letting it overshadow the other important aspects of your life.

But more on the tips to stay connected to the Gods. What I know for certain is that sometimes, we have no control over how connected we feel to them. But there are a lot ways for you to keep them close to your heart. The first, in my opinion, is to make your spirituality into a safe and happy place. Find ways to make it fun! By listening to music that feels spiritual to you, writing down prayers or devotional poems when you’re inspired, wearing a piece of jewelry in their honor, making a Pinterest board into a little online shrine, drawing a rune or sigil which represents them on your skin, making art of the deities you love… In other words, don’t be afraid to mix your passions and your faith. No matter how “casual” it may feel! Sometimes, “casual” is what we can manage given our busy lives (which is why the size of your altar does not matter, it’s the love you pour into tending it that makes all the difference). It’s both perfectly normal and healthy. And if something about your practice/belief doesn’t feel right anymore, simply let go of it. Same goes if you don’t resonate with something that every other pagan seem to do.

Another tip I can give you is to simply try (don’t worry, I will elaborate). By this, I mean adopt simple gestures to honor them, even if there might not necessarily be a response. I find that this is especially important in moments when you struggle to feel the presence of your Gods. Leave them a small portion of your dinner every now and then. Do a little bit of research on this or that deity when you can. And if you’ve got the time, offer them a fruit, or a cup of coffee! Anything will do, no matter how small. Light a candle for them every night (routine helps a lot), and pray if you’ve got something on your mind. It’s normal not to see some sort of immediate response. But if you look around yourself during the day— if you look at the sunset on your way home from work, at the trees that rustle with the wind, or at the rain pouring outside your window—, and if you listen carefully to what people tell you, you might start to notice some signs. Recurring patterns and omens are a typical example of signs that a deity might send. It’s also fun to draw parallels between every day things and your deities. For example, to think of Freyr when you tend a cute new house plant. Or to pray to Skaði during a snowstorm! I have always loved “inviting” deities to witness certain events, so as to share the joy with them. I simply close my eyes, focus of the deity I want to call out to, and speak their name aloud, or murmur it. Actually, if you’re interested in this topic, I have written this post, which could be helpful to you!

Don’t be afraid to keep trying, that’s my most important tip. There’s really not much else we can do when we feel disconnected from our faith. Make your belief into something that feels right. Spirituality should be a happy place for you, and not a reason for worry. You deserve for your practice as a norse pagan to feel joyful and fulfilling. Above all, don’t force anything: these sorts of moments are inevitable. I’ve known them myself, and so has every other pagan. But things will get better soon, that I guarantee!

[radiation]

hello! i just wanted to say following you for memes and silly goofy haha stuff ive come to realize how insanely talented you are at game design and rpgmaker and just wanted to let you know youve been a huge inspiration to me!! Speaking of rpgmaker, would you perhaps have any words of advice to people wanting to make games in that engine for the first time? ty!!

I keep forgetting to answer this but this is so sweet ;_; thank you so much for the kind words!!! It always makes me really happy when someone follows me for either Joke posts or Art/gamedev stuff and then realizes i do the other half too, and ends up liking that stuff as well. Its super fun

And Im not sure if youll see this but i'll offer my thoughts on RPGmaker too. Ill be repeating a lot of stuff ive said on da blog before but hopefully its still helpful and is more specific to this particular question

So as for RPGmaker, regardless of the version you use -- I use MV, but research and figure out whats best for you -- Id honestly just recommend screwing around in the engine. Start off making junk test projects where you just have fun testing different features. RPGMaker is pretty unique in that its a very "exploratory" engine to learn, theres a lot of tools there for you by default that you dont need coding knowledge to understand, and its really fun to familiarize yourself with them. So its easy and fun to spend a bunch of time making a bunch of horseshit that you dont plan on putting in an actual game as a way of learning

These are the tutorials i watched to figure out rpgmaker MV, very simple and fun. Id recommend just going thru something like these and making doo doo projects to see how it works. Like for example I relearned the engine by making shit like this using default assets. its way too fun.

Once youre essentially familiar with how the engine works and youre like "hey why cant i do this extremely basic thing in the engine already" id suggest searching for plugins! Theyre scripts other people have made that expand what you can do in the engine. Here are all of the ones i use for my game.

I say thsi a lot but i think the most important thing as an RPGmaker developer, particularly one not super versed in coding, is planning your games around what the engine does best and what plugins you know are available. RPGmaker is very good at making what it expects you to wanna make. Its very bad at doing anything else. So if youre like "im gonna make this cool minigame" or "Im gonna make this crazy looking UI" and plan your game around the idea youll achieve those things its gonna be very very difficult for you to do that unless you get a programmer on board. And itll probably be kind of a pain for the programmer as well. Research how feasible it is to get a particular function in the game before you become married to that idea

Also as i always say, i really recommend starting with a tiny project! like take your conception of what a "small project" is and imagine it so much smaller that it seems ridiculously tiny and simple. And youll find that that alone takes way more work than you anticipated. But dont let any of this dissuade you too much, the most important thing is doing *anything* in the engine (and having fun with it). Its great to finish projects but if you end up not finishing one then its ok, you still learned a bunch from doing that

[davekat-sucks]

to that anon about hs fanart. I mean, if you're scared, I recommend keeping your inbox closed, it's a shame because there are some really nice people left that just want to share their ideas with you but it's better on the long run. People on tumblr will preach about mental health and all that shit but its just for show, they will vaguepost about you and send you creepy shit (I got sent animal gore, death threats, got my account terminated, etc) if they don't like you, very clique mentality. Example: Just look up how some virtue signal about Damara's design being ugly/racist/etc, to then proceed to insult Hone and her art, calling it 'anime shit' when she herself is japanese and she drew Damara for requiem.

It all depends on which characters you draw and ship, if you've bad luck like me and you like some rareships or the fandoms kins or disagree with the current popular fandom take you will attract the weirdos. With that I mean they will make comments like "Would [x] character approve of what you're doing?", saying they selfship with the character and that you cant draw them with this other character, says they're part of their system and you're triggering them or roleplay fetish shit in your askbox using your art as an icon.

Of course this is just the worst examples and I had the worst luck ever, so just try to keep yourself safe and don't let anyone guilt trip you of anything okay? It's not worth it and they are honestly assholes.

Also, might sound crazy, preferably stay away from the dancestor fans here. They are really fucking weird about Mituna of all fucking characters, and try to gatekeep him for themselves. Oh and some people will repost your art to other sites, but that's not really specific of this fandom.

I recommend ao3 for some peace of mind.

[jonphaedrus]

2022 fic year in review

2022 was a weird year. i pulled an all-nighter on feb 16 and i was possessed by the ghost of prfr past and an opera only i care about and then i woke up ten months later (kidding. i have not woken up at all) nearly a million words later and with my entire life in slight disarray and an unbreakable obsession with pokémon villain from baby jrpg fake france

anyway let's do the breakdown. im gonna take some questions from the overall ao3 wrapped lists going around, and then do the greatest hits/thoughs of all my fav fics from every month of the year (by posted date, including if it was adjusted for reveals; im not taking into account when things were "actually" written, but also neither will ongoing wips still unfinished count)

total word count in 2022: i waited to post this until id posted my final fics of the year and got the final count and cant stop staring at that 780k total. wtf. some of this is wips from across multiple years updated in 2022 (and much of it is roleswap which is going to get bumped into 2023...) but it's the most i've ever written on my own, ever. multiple past years combined. i stuggled so much with writing from 2018-2021 and i thought i'd never find it as easy or relaxing again and to have found joy in my words makes me so happy. LOOK HOW MUCH I WROTE! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!

fav fic i wrote this year: not counting ongoing wips (sorry roleswap. otherwise roleswap would be like the #1 thing on every answer), "tomorrow you must love me" is the best thing ive ever written (before roleswap) and it was such a joy and struggle to work on. i was so nervous and scared writing every bit of it but it came out exactly the way i wanted to. learning how to write longfic (for me) has been such a beautiful experience and it's made me so happy to share with others!

fav fic i read this year: "do let the old enmity be" by sam (my favorite gift anyone has ever given me on ao3 i cant—i cant even handle it i melt i explode i climb onto the rooftop to holler across the atlantic ocean), both fics in sam's mutual pining series (i have read both of these fics so many times... my favorite sam fics. or close to my favorite sam fics. we met because of mp1... these two STUPID, STUPID FUCKING FISH!!!!) and "mira vs. sasha cant" which might not have been written for me but it was written to infiltrate my brain and give me strength beyond imagining. oh, my god, it's so good, please read it. I AM NO LONGER ASKING.

fav series i read this year: royals having a nice time by ba_lailah. if you like polyamory, gender, sex (both the kind you do with other people and the bits attached to the body), pregnancy, family, parenthood, developing relationships, realism and worldbuilding, kids, the complexity of monarchy and the realities of rule, really REALLY REALLY hot porn, and some of the best bdsm ive ever read, treat yourself and go read rhant. there's a 250k novel coming this year. it's incredible. worth your time. go. read it.

fav exchange this year: fic in a box. the chance to play around with mediums and stylesheets and the exchange community around fiab was lovely. all the pinch hits i wrote were so much fun—i literally don't think i saw a single prompt i didnt adore!—and the mods were fabulous and i got LITERALLY THE BEST GIFT EVER. fiab is honestly a ton of fun. if you're new to exchanges and you want to try something a little out of left field, i really recommend fiab! the signups can be sort of esoteric but don't let the mediums or the complexity of the rulesets scare you off (they almost scared me off but sam coaxed me through it like a nervous small mammal) or the 10k minimum. you can break that up in so many ways (vids, art, cross stitch or knitting patterns, pixel art, voxel art, interactive fiction, asw remixes, comics, poetry, drabbles, standard fic, social media...) that it's really accessible and encourages so much thinking out of the box. i am SO EXCITED for next year.

fav ship i wrote for: GEE, I FUCKING WONDER.

fav character pov to write: you might think "prfr, either half" but no. it's shauna, actually. i love writing her and her perspective on things. she's so relatable and i just. i love her. her voice comes so easily to me, i cant wait to write her more in 2023

fav scene i wrote: a three-way tie between "as you treated him, so shall i treat you" which is just one scene but it set me on such an unexpected and amazing path to meeting some of my best friends and the most important people in my life and improving my craft and becoming so much happier on every axis ALL BECAUSE I DIDNT SLEEP AND I WAS MAD NOBODY ELSE HAD WRITTEN LYSANDRE GETTING STEPPED ON.... the scene with shauna and augustine in the grass in "with tenderness and pretty words it is easy to conquer good girls' hearts" which was a lot of catharsis for me as well as augustine and shauna, and a very specific chapter late in roleswap. i'm not saying which one. that's for me to know and you to find out.

wip i finally finished: inspired by the ficwip server, i've been working (slowly) on some of my old wips, and finally finished starry heavens, which was meant to be done like eight years ago. it's character studies of every major character in tales of symphonia, and getting to see it in full and my growth as an author over the better part of the last decadeis a little humbling. ive come so far! writing is great actually!

wip i've yet to finish: roleswap. 2023. we will do it. it will be done. as soon as my fffx is draft complete, roleswap is my heart and soul.

most read fic: it is (a little unsurprisingly given how long it is...) roleswap! which makes me so, so happy. sam and i have worked so hard

longest fic (completed in 2022): "tomorrow you must love me" at 57k

shortest fic: apparently it was "in which the author reaches the end of his rope" at 193 words. i didnt even remember writing this so jkhlkdfjhglsdhkfg

fav fic title used: "RÉEL FIBSHING: LUMIOSE CITY EDITION" which is twine-style interactive fiction about magikarp jump, set in sam's "as the night the day" universe which i wholeheartedly adore and you should go read it.

biggest surprise while writing: how much easier it is for me to do multi-chapter and longform works! i've always really struggled in the past to stay committed and complete things, but this year i've really started to move into the realm of being able to just... write longfic! that's very exciting to me.

fav comment received: shout out to ao3 users yelp, who is an absolute delight in exchanges. like, seriously, yelp is such a sweetheart. omg. i would write for them in an exchange again in a heartbeat and their comments are so sweet.... and also every other comment i got. thank you ;;v;; they make me so happy... i hardly ever even know what to say

fav fic author i read: i wonder who that ao3 user samifer is. what a guy. in all seriousness, this year my favorite authors were my friends. they helped me out, gave me advice, and made me feel so full of love i can't even begin to say how much. i'm so lucky to know these amazing people and i can't encourage you to read everything by sam, kay, neku, lailah, or sushi enough. theyre all amazing fabulous authors and fantastic people and i love them so much. you should go love them too!!!!!

total fics/chapters uploaded: 174. i said that aloud and my husband said "holy crap babe" from the other room. what the actual fuck

what am i most looking forward to next year: FINISHING ROLESWAP IM SO EXCITED ITS ALL IM THINKING ABOUT!!! IM SO READY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

ok and finally under the cut my favorite fic from each month of 2022!

JANUARY 2022 -- SINCE THE DARK (owain & l'arachel, gen)

i've been doing nagamas since the very first year and it's still one of my favorite exchanges. getting to play around with a narrator as fun as owain and contrasting him with l'arachel was great and seeing their crossover interactions was so good. nagamas gr9 actually. 10/10 exchange will always participate again

FEBRUARY 2022 -- AS YOU TREATED HIM, SO SHALL I TREAT YOU (prfr, m)

what else, lol? i didnt sleep i listened to an entire opera, i blacked out, i woke up ten months later and discovered i'd moved in and written like four novels. i am never moving back out. i love everyone in this house. especially sam.

MARCH 2022 -- IN EVERY PLACE, AT EVERY TIME (prfr, e)

inspired by sam prompting for phone sex and mutual pining, playing around with academia and conferences and giving this the most #onbrand title/chapter title/summary combo i could come up with this also led to me meeting new dear friends!!

APRIL 2022 -- TOMORROW YOU MUST LOVE ME (prfr, e)

im so stupid proud of this fic. setting up a plot this complex with so many moving pieces and multiple povs and multiple mediums and dealing with so many real life issues was a lot of moving pieces but it was so, so worth it. it was worth all of the work because it's one of the best things ive ever written and it came out just how i wanted to and it helped me make my friends happy and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i just love prfr and writing c/c/c has been just amazing and I WILL KEEP GOING NEXT YEAR!! THIS YEAR WHATEVER IT'S 2023 NOW BUT WHATEVER ITS STILL 5783

MAY 2022 -- WHO COULD USE FORCE AGAINST A HEART LIKE HIS (IV) (prfr, e)

sam prompted me for using bdsm as therapy and i wanted to write cnc and it spiralled very out of control. one of the questions someone asked early on with c/c/c was what happened at The Incident and i'd intended to write that and playing with vanilla sex and safewording and cnc and trust was really difficult and i've struggled off and on for most of the year with this series of 5+1 but every one as i've finished it has been such an accomplishment even when it's been hard. especially when it's been hard.

JUNE 2022 -- 'TIS NOT LONG BEFORE THEY FEEL THEIR FEEBLE SOULS BEGIN TO REEL

how, HOW, HOW??? WAS I THE FIRST PERSON TO (APPARENTLY??) WRITE T4T SEX POLLEN FIC ON AO3? anyway it was fun and the result is sexy sexy sex

JULY 2022 -- AS THOUGH IT WERE POSSIBLE TO COMMAND LOVE

sam asked for prfr one bed and then FIFTY THOUSAND FUCKING WORDS LATER they finally made it to the bed and fucked in it. good for them.

AUGUST 2022 -- SILKEN DALLIANCE

the entire writer's month challenge was an experience (writing that much every day for a month... im glad i did it but im not doing it again i dont think dfkjhgkdfhg) but of all the fics i wrote i think this was my favorite. i really struggled with this prompt and i wasn't all that happy with it as i was writing it/right after but as time has passed i've been more and more proud of it.

SEPTEMBER 2022 -- TIRED OF THIS BODY

i dont really have anything insightful to say here. uh. getting into new and slightly unexpected kinks is character growth?

OCTOBER 2022 -- ONE CANDLE IN THE RAIN

something something if i had a nickel for every trans serial killer au i've written id have two nickels which is a weird number of nickels to have for something this specific and niche. anyway getting into new and slightly unexpected kinks (and then getting your friends into new and slightly unexpected kinks) is character growth

NOVEMBER 2022 -- WHO COULD USE FORCE AGAINST A HEART LIKE HIS (V)

i stuill have mixed feelings about this fic. i think this was like... my fifth or sixth attempt at writing it, and it honestly still didnt turn out exactly how i wanted it to and im a little bit frustrated by that, but as much as i tell people it doesn't have to be perfect it just has to be done, i struggle with "done, not perfect" and "done, not perfect" here meant i finished this and it made me happy. ive learned a lot this year and one of the things i learned was to let go of perfection and finish stories and be happy with the growth from them. this grew out of so many ideas and the way it ended up is just right just the way it is.

DECEMBER 2022 -- AZURE AS ANTEDILUVIAN SONG or RÉEL FIBSHING: LUMIOSE CITY EDITION

fiab was such a good exchange ;__; i had so much fun and i can't wait to do it again next year. pinch hitting and treating and getting to write for some of my best friends and trying out new mediums was so much fun and i definitely feel like i grew a lot as a writer in the process. writing interactive fiction was a new one for me (i've never written anything even like a choose your own adventure even just for friends before as a kid or anything) and it definitely was a new experience, especially playing around with 2nd person like that, and twine had a learning curve, but it was a fun learning curve c: azure as antediluvian song came out of me all in one go based on a prompt without even intending to write it. kazuha is my favorite genshin character and i loved this au concept and getting to play around with ayato was unexpectedly enjoyable! genshin lore good.

[newt-benjamin]

TW SUICIDE MENTION/YUCKY WORDS

Rant shit about skygarden (cant have shit in Detroit my god)

Because this mf won't leave me alone and is acting all pissy and whiny because I called her ass out for using su1c1d@ as a. excuse to get attention because she was mad that she wasn't popular and have lots of followers, This is now what I get. I can't help but laugh because this is so stupid, How are you gonna get upset I told you that wasn't ok, and recommended you get help if your not ok, then act like you are your mother posting on your Instagram and tumblr saying you tried to commit. You've officially hit rock bottom EJ. And lemme say this, Keep going around trying to start drama and 'get back at me' and I will keep exposing your ass. I'm done, I dont have pity nor sympathy for you anymore, Yes I cared for you originally despite letting you make me uncomfortable so you'd have a friend, and someone to talk to about a bad person stealing your art. But threatening to find my home, "thump" me, calling me wh@re, s1ut, and saying I'm the reason you 'commited'?? digusting, and extremely pathetic. Honestly I legit let this all go because I genuinely thought, hey! She got the help she needed! I hope she's feeling better and takes a break cause damn the internet can be extremely harmful. But no. Bailey knows now, as does a fellow friend, and more. So my final words to you, Leave me alone and take care of yourself. I'm not gonna give you this drama I know you want. I'm not gonna fight you, I don't care if your ghetto, I don't give a shit if your a girl, boy, any race or ethnicity, I see you as a broken human being who can't handle knowing she can't get away with her digusting actions. You wanna talk shit? Go ahead, I dont care, I have screenshots providing plenty of proof how much of a length your willing to go to hurt people to get your way.

Honestly this is just overall sad. And the fact you'd even message someone you despise to help you out willingly. I saved those screenshots I took. I've sent them to that 'enemy' of yours. She knows. So let's please, legit take a step back. Get off the internet and take a damn break. Your not ok dude, you need to care for your mental health, and physical health. I really hope you can learn that sometimes, life's not gonna go your way.

[eggrestes]

ladrien fic recs!

there are SO MANY amazing ladrien fics i cant possibly cover them all but here are a few!

(all the ratings used are ao3 ratings)

((this is a very long post!))

FLUFF

Of Ivy and Sunlight by cyanise [ T, 1509 words, 1/1 ]

When Adrien takes to wandering the streets of Paris in ungodly hours, Ladybug has no choice but to keep an eye on him. Still, things are bound to get a little out of hand between two overloaded teenagers with a lot of love and not enough self-control. 

a lovely post-chat blanc fic :’) it has a great flow and is just soft and so sweet and it’s just perfect. gosh i cannot really say more other than read it!!! also almost all of their other stuff is also ladrien so do check it out!

This can't be happening by PlaPla [ T,  6,467 words, 1/2 ]

Ladybug is unsure whether accompanying Adrien to a gala as his not-date is the best or worst thing that has ever happened to her. But when their table mates turn out to be none other than her long time friends Alya and Nino and with Adrien acting weirder and weirder she finds herself with bigger worries than an unrequited crush.

a djwifi/ladrien double date? hit me up! i love identity shenanigans, ball dancing, ladrien, and djwifi and this is a perfect mix for me. i know it’s incomplete but it doesn’t end in a cliff-hanger really, the part 2 is just a promise of more so it doesn’t feel incomplete! PlaPla also has a short oneshot of ladrien going for a motorcycle ride.

Falling again by emsylcatac [ M,  4,506 words, 2 Works ]

They had been dancing around each other for a while now, and while fifteen year old Adrien would have been ecstatic at the idea of dating Ladybug in secret, twenty-two year old Adrien knew better. But Ladybug wasn’t making it easy. It was like… she, too, was falling for him. And that surprisingly enough, she didn’t mind.

* * *

Or Adrien trying (and failing) to keep things professional between him and Ladybug when the two of them partner up for a mission. Older AU

things are a little steamy~ here (don’t worry, it’s only implied it’s very mild and closer to a T rating than the M) but it’s a great mature take on their dynamics! emsy has more ladrien one-shots in her collection of one-shots!

i'd love to go on a date with you by sae_what  [ G,  6,480 words, 1/1 ]

Once it had been falsely announced throughout Paris that Adrien and Ladybug are in a relationship, Ladybug pays him a visit to turn him down gently.

Only, she doesn’t. And instead, she has a formal dinner date. With Adrien. At 8 pm. Tonight.

LADYBUG IN A SUIT!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaa. okay but for real it’s so sweet and also??? they are on a date!!! a rooftop date!! (too man exclamation marks oops)

Always Welcome by  chatonne-rousse [ T, 1,683 words, 1/1 ]

Ladybug knows that Adrien's window is always open for her to swing by and stop in, whether for video games or a chat or, like tonight, for soft kisses and sweet nothings.

He loves these visits. His girlfriend is always welcome. Always. (Especially for kisses.)

Written for Ladrien June, day 8: bluebell eyes.

established relationship, pre-reveal ladrien. there is something very home-y about this fic and it’s all about the comfort and quiet that i adore about it!

Five Times Gabriel Agreste Caught Ladybug in His Son’s Bedroom (and the One Time He Caught Chat Noir) by agrestenoir [ T,  1,923 words, 1/1]

Gabriel Agreste keeps finding Ladybug in his son's bedroom. As a super villain and father, this will not stand.

this crack fic is... honestly so hilarious. it’s all through gabrie-i-am-trying-to-parent-and-failing-a-lot-agreste’s POV so it is so much ridiculous! 

an uncurtain discovery by  Missnoodles [ T, 4,684 words, 1/1 ]

When he returns from school on Wednesday afternoon, Adrien discovers the darkness in his own home. He struggles to come to terms with it. To his utter mortification and delight, Ladybug is nearby to rescue him.

(He does not discover that his father is supervillain. That will happen on a different Wednesday.)

Adrien is being a cat and gets tangled in the curtains on his window and it’s utterly ridiculous. all the bug and the cat tendencies make it funnier and adrien’s inner monologue is just a cherry on top!

secret valentine by a_miiraculer [ T,  12,245 words, 1/1 ]

this is the moment that we will come alive brace yourself for love sweet love, secret love

If Adrien had known that getting himself stuck in a tree would end like this, he would've gotten himself stuck sooner.

A drabble series.

i just,,,, don’t have words for how much i love it! it’s ridiculous, it’s cute, it’s funny, it’s whole-some and just ladrien. the writer also has a M rated multi-chapter ladrien kissing (no the M is very much real here) and a heroic adrien and ladybug one-shot too! 

Those Benevolent Stars by peachcitt [ G,  23,696 words, 3/3 ]

“Will you come back?”

She looked up at the deep blue sky, as if she could somehow find the answer there. “I shouldn’t,” she said, shaking her head and looking back at him. But the stars were still there, caught in her eyes, and Adrien persisted.

“But will you?”

or

adrien meets his soulmate, a thief who calls herself ladybug. he falls for her, but she seems determined to maintain a space between them.

oh my god this au.... just no words!! it’s poetry and it’s tender and it’s about the yearning and just!!! perfect :’). Her current ongoing ladrien june fic is also akin to this (and the fic i linked before it) so do check it out too! (literally check out all of their works it’s so beautiful)

Flowers on the Window Sill by LNC [ G,  2,144 words, 1/1 ]

The first time Ladybug saw him, really saw him, the universe stopped.

this fic feels like poetry and it’s so lovely. LNC is always short and direct but it always hits right in the feels while also being hilarious. Her  other ladrien works are just as good and i highly recommend going through them because it fulfills all of the ladrien needs (along with Reiaji)

whatever a sun will always sing is you by komorebirei [ T,  32,980 words, 37/37 ]

“I didn't think you'd actually... do anything," Adrien admitted, cheeks prickling with warmth. "I-I mean, I never expected... I didn't know you watched my interviews.” That definitely wasn’t how he'd imagined confessing to Ladybug.

“Of course I do!” Ladybug squeaked. “Uhh, that is…” She looked down at her hands, nervously turning her yo-yo over, over and over. “Maybe you’re not the only one with a crush.”

(After an unexpected confession, Ladybug and Adrien start dating in secret. A progressive character- and relationship-study quilted from drabbles, with the intention of digging treasure out of the cove that is Ladrien. Written using kashimalin-fanfiction's kiss writing prompts from Tumblr.)

it does such an excellent job at exploring this dynamic along with the characters. it’s such a sweet fic, each chapter short and fun!

ANGST

whose woods these are (I think I know.) by  Reiaji [ T,  105,000 words, 25/25 ]

Four years after his future turns to cinders, Adrien is a servant in the house he was meant to inherit. Disowned by his father and abused by his stepmother, his days are filled with drudgery until he meets a masked huntress in the forest behind his father's chateau.

As his friendship with Ladybug turns to first love, he dreams of a future spent at her side.

Then, on the eve of the Princess's masquerade, he meets his guardian—and is granted a wish.

[Ladrien Cinderella AU]

Warnings: Child abuse, Graphic depiction of violence

this is absolutely gorgeous. it has so many troupes and so many amazing character arc and great build up and everything just flows so well. it left me in awe for weeks and i just. want to experience reading it for the first time again. look at this gorgeous art inspired by this! {and you have to read  leonard bernstein too because LETTERS and LADRIEN and YEARNING}

i would do it again (oh, a thousand times) by bugabisous [ T, 2,266 words, 1/1 ]

Knowing you can bring someone back doesn’t mean you’re free of the pain of seeing them disappear before your eyes. He can’t imagine he’ll be able to look at her directly without replaying every horrifying moment when he felt her slip away in a puff of smoke.

When it happens once again, he already knows he’ll be trying again. He just can’t give up.

it expands on adrien’s feelings in the episode desperada (my beloved <3) and it is just ouch. such great angst, such great potential. the kind of tragedy that it offers is unusual for ml (it gets only rivaled by chat blanc tbh). to rival this angst bugabisous also has a fluffy one-shot :)

when the world gets too heavy (put it on my back) by Taliax [ T, 4,720 words, 1/1 ]

Chat Noir isn't allowed to cry over his father. But even when he's just Adrien, Ladybug won't abandon him.

Hawkmoth reveal hurt/comfort + Ladrien

the plagg and adrien bond written is just perfect, and oh this hits right in the feels :’) it hurts all in the right way. tali also has so many other ladrien works in all genres too

By Your Side by omniousunflower [ T, 4,361 words, 1/1 ]

(Angry and alone, Adrien waits on top of the Eiffel Tower for his lady.)

“So, how did my kitty get stranded up here?” Ladybug asks.

Groaning, Adrien pulls his knees toward his chest and presses his face against them. “Because he’s stupid and impulsive.”

“Chasing pigeons, then?”

“No.” Shame burns in Adrien’s veins, white-hot now that Ladybug is here to witness his stupidity. “I threw my Miraculous, and Plagg wouldn’t get it for me.”

post-hawkmoth defeat, and adrien is not doing well at all. i am cheating because it is post reveal, pre relationship but it’s still ladrien. this fic is a roller coater of emotions, starting from a slightly crack scenario to a cute, awkward, hopeful ending.  More Than You Know is another of sunny’s angsty ladrien work!

Breaking The Rules (AKA The Ladrien Fistfight) by ThisKwamiNeeds_aNap [ T, 8,714 words, 1/1 ]

Marinette may or may not be dying, but she’s still going to do her best to fix every single problem in the world. She’s not expecting Adrien to be the one who tries to stop her. (Takes place immediately after Kwami Buster)

Warnings: panic attack, broken bones, PTSD. please read the tags!

*slaps this fic* this fic can fit in so much angst. it just?? left me in PAIN oof. it says ‘ladrien fistfight’ on the lid but nooo there is marinette is just having a freak out and it’s all so much??!! and it’s not just marinette there is adrien too and chloe and alya and- wow it’s amazing. love it so much it fills up my angst needs :’)

so that’s it for now! my personal commentary isn’t impressive nor does it do justice to the fic but i still hope you read a few of these!! happy reading!!

[six-is-sad]

I CANT FIND THE OH POST TALKING ABOUT THIS TO REBLOG SO IM TALKING ABOUT IT INSTEAD

Guy in a comment section talked about why shipping monix is bad. so I’m here to go through his points. Keep in mind that the original screenshot isn’t here and this is based on memory so I might be wrong about how I’m remembering his words.

1: he said that six betrays him, as if we didn’t know that. as if people aren’t allowed to interpret all the different reasons she might’ve done that. Like dude. People are allowed to think that she did so for non malicious reasons. There’s a lot of evidence that supports the claim that she didn’t drop him because she’s evil and didn’t care for him. Besides, aren’t games like little nightmares specifically made to be vague for the purpose of coming to your own conclusions?? Besides, shouldn’t we promote making things right with people we’ve wronged?

2: he said their small children. I’ve already gone into detail on how children have crushes on each other all the time. Wouldnt it be better to teach children how to properly handle romantic bonds as said romantic bonds come along naturally? Since there’s so many literal 40 year olds that are shit when it comes to love and hurt the ones they said they loved? I think that should be preferred. Shielding children from the world and the aspects of it isn’t going to help them. How are they supposed to understand things like this if you don’t let them experience it? Something as innocent as romantic love shouldn’t be taboo for kids. telling your child that they aren’t allowed to love someone, ESPECIALLY someone their age, because their “too young” doesn’t somehow make you a better person and parent. It’s only going to make them hide it from you since it isn’t justified. Not to mention If their too young to be together, then their too young for you to be sexualizing their relationship (when their not aged up of course) in the first place.

3: he said their probably terrified all the time....and something about it being a world full of monsters. There’s literally studies done saying that adrenaline tends to increase peoples attraction to each other. That’s why it’s sometimes recommended to take your crush to a place with rides. don’t you think making it through trauma after trauma with someone, you’d feel at least a little closer to them and care for them more? Like seriously. Their friendship was a constant trust exercise. Don’t you think it would be better for two kids who are constantly terrified to have some sort of comfort? Shouldn’t encouraging people to find a reason to keep going no matter how bad their situation is be a good thing? Even if it might not be intentional? Besides, So many people’s motivations to keep going is literally because they have support and love from their close ones like wtf.

4: he said it’s a horror game that isn’t meant to be happy...

Jfc...you heard it here kids. Trying to find hope in a hopeless situation is bad. Trying to make a dark depressing situation happy again is bad. Your not allowed to be happy or allowed to try to find the good if your going through a bad situation. There is no light at the end of the tunnel if your life is bad right now. Just give up because your clearly supposed to suffer. Coping mechanisms are bad. Because little jimmy who wanted to be fake deep and edgy on the internet said so. ESPECIALLY SINCE THE OFFICIAL TWITTER FOR LITTLE NIGHTMARES 2 HAS LITERALLY RETWEETED WHOLESOME ART IN THE PAST. INCLUDING COOKING MONO FROM RECENTLY!! They put so much wholesome shit in the game. There’s literally a hand holding mechanic. Dear god. Also, so he’s willing to use “their too young” as an excuse for why they can’t love each other. But not willing to consider that their too young to be going through this much trauma, and that people want them to be safe because, he’s right, literal children who shouldn’t have to be tough, like six has been described as. They should be safe. It is incredibly fucked up to imply that these children do not deserve safety and happiness because their made to suffer. Besides, don’t you think these children who are quote “constantly terrified” would WANT to be safe? Once more, you heard it here folks, caring for these children and genuinely wanting to see them happy and safe with each other is bad and makes you an idiot.

People having fun with a game they like isn’t a crime. Just because it doesn’t pertain to what you personally like the game for doesn’t mean it isn’t allowed to exist. People trying to draw and write happiness into a world of suffering honestly is a good thing. If you only like the edgy horror aspect of the game and want to focus on that? Go for it! I like the game for that reason too! It’s very pretty and I love the artistic aspect of it myself! The music gives me chills every time! However throwing a tantrum in the YouTube comment section because people want to be optimistic about an apocalyptic world is bullshit and makes you look like an edgy tryhard in my eyes honestly, and not in the valid just expressing yourself way. Even if the game makers push the idea that hope is bullshit and that the world is terrible so you should never be happy. That’s still a really detested message by a lot of people, and people are allowed to separate art from the artist because of it. Pushing that happiness was never an option literally sounds like the monologue of a bad villain. If we don’t let 14 year old fangirls get away with it. We don’t get to let a company get away with it. There’s no benefit of telling people to give up no matter how gorgeously you depict it.

Those are all the points I remember. I may be missing a few but whatever.

[thisdreamplace]

Im sad nd m feeling hopeless byond woeds. i feel directionless , alone nd..... very upset about everything in my life

Like yesterday i tried to talk to my mum abt somethng that was bothering me nd instead, she gets so much madder like she has high bp and her bp went up from yelling the crud outa me, like the only explanation other than eiyoo is she got defensive nd felt i was being ungrateful, i mean everyone else in the family stays silent and dont step forward i feel abandoned sometimes like maybe they're secretly glad shes not mad at them? Im sick of feeling this way. Idk if u know this feeling? Im not talking abt her my mum but i mean abt life in general? One real reason my mum is harsh is cuz im not doing well in life, like im not going places i want to (not literal places like metaphoricaly) bcuz of fear and social anxiety that no one ariynd me has a teeny idea of what its like. So im aware that she wants the best for me cuz i understand the everyone is u cincepf a bit. Even then its been years of same things nd issues repeating with me. For example m feeling like im gonna crack one day and when i break forever i don't even want to pick up my pieces!

Im so happy to hear ur doing wonderfully. Nd a part of me felt angry at it for a short while lol honestly like how come things are effortlesly going for u as u say, why cant i how can i experience it too, even tho my inner place is a nightmare place 😆 not a dreamplace like urs. I actually lov ur blog nd you lol dont mind me im just throwing out my thoughts, nd I fully understand how things weren't easy for u in the beginning nd everything u say on ur blog. Wish i could be brave nd not in my mind only

💀 nightmare place

i feel sad that you feel so down because life seems like its against you and you're feeling hopeless. its truly the worst to be in that sort of mindset, and i truly know you can find your way out of it. i'm glad you felt safe throwing out your thoughts here.

the truth of the matter is... the law can be difficult in the way that you really have to be willing to take responsibility for yourself. you really have to be willing to stop feeling sorry for yourself. you really have to be the one to pick yourself up and say, "enough is enough, i cant live like this anymore — i have to do better for myself." the truth is you have to want it more than you want to stay in your comfort zone. because if you dont, your comfort zone will always be waiting to invite you back in. and you will always answer the call. i would know, i lived like that most of my life. because the old way of life is comforting, its what youve always known so it makes more sense to you. you rationalize it, "this is the way things have always been." well guess what. it doesnt have to be that way. but i cant make you change your mind. only you can take that leap of faith.

you have to be willing to change before anyone and anything else does. no more waiting for life to treat you better so that you can finally feel good, you have to feel better with or without the help of the 3D.

when you say it made you angry to see how i'm doing well, i understand. i used to be similar. success stories were bittersweet. i felt happy for the person, but upset that i couldnt relate. why was everyone else able to make the law work in weeks and yet it had been months for me, and things just didnt seem to work ? why me ? that's the way i used to think.

well one day you'll look back at this type of moment and it'll all make sense. you seriously cannot keep being the same person, thinking the same thoughts and same feelings you have for years, thinking you'll get a new result. it's the opposite of what the law teaches us to be true. you've got to change and i mean really change. you must let the old story die and let the new story become your life, entirely.

you can brush off my struggle easily, but realize this. everyday i wake up and make the conscious decision to wake up and have a beautiful experience. a month ago i literally hit rock bottom; everything in the 3D i cared about so much seemed to fall apart. and i had to face that and still find the strength to say, "you know what, fuck this — i can't keep living this way." without the help of the 3D i had to pick myself up everyday, even when i felt like crumbling. i had more than my fair share of crying all day, of feeling like my heart would literally come out because of how hard i cried. considering that maybe life isnt for me after all, and perhaps i would be better off ending it there. i didnt have anything in the external world to give me hope. i had to find hope within myself. i had to look at a world that made me feel so ugly and decide its actually a beautiful world, despite the illusion. i had to take the law seriously, i had to surrender to the teachings, i had to make the art of imagining a daily practice because i decided i deserve better. and only i can give that to myself. the world cannot provide me with anything i refuse to provide myself with — this is the basics of the law. and through persistence, through not giving up on myself on the hard days, i am now singing a much more beautiful song.

when you fully accept that 1) imagining creates reality and 2) you are the only cause for all you experience... it becomes difficult to not take this more seriously. because you know how whatever you are/have within, is your experience. but you have to surrender to those truths, its up to you. i'd recommend listening to the podcast 'feeling twisty' if you're interested in what i'm saying here. mike is really the one who's explanation of the law helped me learn the importance of taking responsibility for my inner world.

im rooting for you sweet, dream place. behind the illusion of the nightmare, a dream awaits. 💖

[tigerkirby215]

5e Sivir, the Battle Mistress build (League of Legends)

(Artwork made for Riot Games.)

Okay I know this is completely off topic but what the hell is Sivir's pose in her base splash art? Like oh my god doesn't that hurt your back? Jesus I know proportions are hard but wow this pose is terrible lmao.

Also it has come to my attention that I unintentionally made all the Legends of Runeterra Shuriman champions. Well I mean, Rammus isn't in LoR yet. Man we do really need more Shuriman champs.

Sorry I really don't have much of a blurb beyond that. Honestly only making Sivir for "randomly Shurima month." Like who actually plays Sivir anymore.

GOALS

Better duck! - We need to be able to throw everything at incoming danger and cut it down to size.

Here's where I get my cut - When faced with a hoard it doesn't hurt to be able to shoot everyone at once!

Nice try - Of course getting hit yourself would suck, so we're going to need ways to avoid incoming damage.

RACE

You have ascendant blood in you, which gives you just a touch of godly power. To connect to the gods look to the Aasimar. As an Aasimar you’d normally increase your Charisma by 2 but we’re instead going to invoke Tasha’s for a +2 to Dexterity. But your other abilities don’t change such as your Darkvision which I only mention because Light Bearer gives you the Light cantrip to help your friends with their dumb human eyes. You also get Celestial Resistance for a Spell Shield and Healing Hands for some potions in a pinch.

Fallen Aasimar require high Charisma and Scourge Aasimar hurt themselves as they fight, so we’ll be going for Protector Aasimar. We’re still going to get a +1 to Intelligence instead of Wisdom with Tasha’s rules, and we’ll cover more of what your subrace does for you at level 3.

ABILITY SCORES

15; INTELLIGENCE - Intelligence is tied to Investigation which makes it the tomb raiding skill. (I’d probably put Dexterity higher to be honest but I dislike uneven Ability Scores.)

14; DEXTERITY - You’re an ADC and even if you’re throwing stuff (which we won’t be in this build) Dexterity is still tied to most ranged combat abilities.

13; CONSTITUTION - While you may be squishy on the Rift we simply don’t need any other abilities for this build.

12; WISDOM - Wisdom is tied to Perception which is also useful when trying to avoid traps.

10; CHARISMA - You’re rather rough around the edges. Maybe if you were more Charismatic your fellow tomb raiders wouldn’t have double-crossed you.

8; STRENGTH - Even though you’re throwing weapons (which again: we won’t be for this build) you are very nimble and Fleet of Foot. Put simply we don’t need Strength at all for this build.

BACKGROUND

There’s no “Tomb Raider” background so we’ll fall back on Sivir’s job as a Mercenary Veteran. You get proficiency in Athletics and Persuasion as well as Land Vehicles and a gaming set of your choice (pick your poison.)

When you live the Mercenary Life you can easily identify other mercenaries by their emblems and logos. (RIP Clubs.) You know bits and pieces about their work, and can go seek them out for hints on the next ancient tomb to break into. And if all else fails you can fall back on mercenary work to maintain a comfortable lifestyle.

(Artwork made for Riot Games.)

THE BUILD

LEVEL 1 - ROGUE 1

Starting off as a Rogue because skills to raid tombs are always helpful. Skills like Acrobatics, Perception, Investigation, and... well we may as well grab Stealth as a Rogue. You also get Expertise in two skills: Investigation is the skill to find hidden loot, and Stealth is still pretty important as a Rogue.

When you live the mercenary life you know to speak in Thieves’ Cant so no wanabee treasure hunters try for your mark. Thieves’ Cant is a secret code with regular words that mean something else.

But let’s be real: what we’re really here for is Sneak Attack. When you have advantage on an attack (such as by attacking from stealth) or if your ADC is near the target you can do an additional d6 of damage.

LEVEL 2 - ROGUE 2

Second level Rogues are Fleet of Foot, and can use Cunning Action to Dash, Disengage, or Hide as a Bonus Action. Attack-Moving as an ADC is very important!

LEVEL 3 - ROGUE 3

Third level Rogues get to choose their Roguish Archetype, and you have the blood of a long-dead civilization in your veins. You revived your phantom of a great great great great (x20 more “great”s) grandfather, so Phantom Rogue will work well. Whispers of the Dead will let you choose a skill or tool to gain proficiency in after a Short or Long Rest, so you can adapt your tools to the situation at hand.

But more importantly you get Wails from the Grave. When you hit an enemy you can have your shot Ricochet to an enemy within 30 feet to deal necrotic damage equal to half the number of Sneak Attack dice for your level (round up.) You can use this feature a number of times equal to your proficiency bonus, and regain all expended uses when you finish a long rest.

Speaking of which your Sneak Attack die increases to 2d6. And speaking of more damage as a Protector Aasimar you get Radiant Soul. Once per long rest you can activate your Ascendant blood for 1 minute or until you end it as a bonus action. During this time you have a flying speed and deal extra Radiant damage equal to your level. Look just because we don’t see Sivir fly in-game doesn’t mean she can’t.

LEVEL 4 - ROGUE 4

4th level Rogues get an Ability Score Improvement: Dexterity controls most of what you do currently. Increase it by 2 for more damage, better skill checks, and better AC.

(Artwork made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 5 - FIGHTER 1

ADCs are meant to fight, and Fighters are good at that! You get a Fighting Style to boost your right clicks and a “Marksman” needs Archery, even if they’re technically throwing weapons. (By the way by this point I’d recommend using a Longbow, for multiple reasons other than “it’s better than a Shortbow / Light Crossbow.”)

You can also pop the Heal Summoner Spell for a Second Wind, healing yourself for a d10 plus your Fighter level as a Bonus Action.

LEVEL 6 - FIGHTER 2

Second level Fighters are On the Hunt (by themselves), and can Action Surge to take an additional action! For now this just means one more attack, but your damage output will really increase at higher levels!

LEVEL 7 - FIGHTER 3

Third level Fighters get to choose their Martial Archetype, and while it’s perhaps not the most accurate or the strongest Arcane Archer is the only way to get some of Sivir’s abilities. But firstly you get Arcane Archer Lore for the Arcana skill (or Nature but Arcana is better), as well as the Prestidigitation cantrip (or Druidcraft but Prestidigitation is better.)

But your main feature is of course the Arcane Shot. Once per turn you can use one of your Arcane Shot options. You decide to use it when the arrow hits a creature, unless the option doesn’t involve an attack roll. Piercing Arrow will serve as your “Boomerang” Blade, firing a projectile in a 30 foot line that deals damage to everyone it passes through. This ability will go through cover so you can shoot past walls too!

There aren’t really many other options that fit Sivir, but Bursting Arrow will make your shot “Ricochet” on enemies within 5 feet of your initial target. And will do more damage, obviously.

You have two Arcane Shots per Short or Long Rest, but I’d really recommend discussing the subclass with your DM. Arcane Archer is known for being weak but it becomes a lot stronger if you make the Arcane Shots scale with either Intelligence modifier or your Proficiency Bonus. I don’t normally recommend homebrew changes but Arcane Archer is honestly a fun subclass hampered by how limited your Arcane Shot options are. I really recommend discussing buffs to the class if you wish to play one. 

LEVEL 8 - FIGHTER 4

4th level Fighters get another Ability Score Improvement and while tricks are useful shooting good is still your main goal. Increase your Dexterity by 2 for the deadliest shots possible.

(Artwork by Horace "Hozure" Hsu and Alex "alexplank" Flores. Made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 9 - FIGHTER 5

5th level Fighters get their Beserker's Greaves, granting them enough attack speed for an Extra Attack to make two attacks in a turn! "Business is good."

LEVEL 10 - FIGHTER 6

Fighters get Ability Score Improvements instead of Class Features, but that's cool because it means we can get feats! Your Constitution has been sitting at 13 for awhile now, and while I'd normally try to grab a more fun feat Resilient will increase your Constitution by 1 and also make it easier to resist spells, which is like a spell shield!

LEVEL 11- FIGHTER 7

7th level Fighters get their Mythic! Kraken Slayer will give you Magic Arrows that do... exactly what they say on the tin! Magic damage for the sake of overcoming resistance or immunity to nonmagical damage.

Additionally if you miss you can use your Bonus Action to Ricochet your shot to another enemy. Curving Shot will let you redirect a missed hit towards a different enemy within 60 feet.

You also learn another Arcane Shot option: Enfeebling Arrow is like exhaust on an arrow. The target takes an additional 2d6 Necrotic damage and has to make a Constitution saving throw. If they fail the damage of their attacks is reduced by half until the start of your next turn.

LEVEL 12 - FIGHTER 8

More Feats are fun! While I could take Resilient in every stat or perhaps Mage Slayer I think Lucky works better to simulate Sivir's spell shield. If you make a roll on a d20 that you don't like you can roll a Lucky die to change it. You can use this not just on saving throws but also attack rolls, ability checks, and even enemy rolls! (Though of course the most flavorful thing would be to only use it on your own saving throws.) You do only have 3 of these per Long Rest, so be sure to use them wisely to block deadly spells.

(Artwork made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 13 - ROGUE 5

5th level Rogues can survive a bit of harass thanks to Uncanny Dodge, letting you reduce the damage from a weapon attack you saw coming by half with your reaction. "Nice try." Your Sneak Attack also increases to 3d6, meaning that your Wails from the Grave increase to 2d6.

LEVEL 14 - ROGUE 6

6th level Rogues get Expertise in two more skills: Perception will help you see danger coming, and Acrobatics will help you avoid that danger.

LEVEL 15 - ROGUE 7

7th level Rogues can dodge skillshot with Evasion. If you succeed on a Dexterity saving throw you take no damage. If you fail on the saving throw you only take half damage, instead of the full damage! "Step light, strike hard." Your Sneak Attack also increases to 4d6.

LEVEL 16 - ROGUE 8

Another Ability Score Improvement is in order, and this will actually be your last one! More Intelligence will boost your Arcane Shots, but the Sharpshooter feat will boost your regular shots. It’s up to you what you do really; adapt your build for more Ability Power or more Attack Damage.

LEVEL 17 - ROGUE 9

9th level Phantom Rogues can loot the dead. When a creature you see dies within 30 feet you can use your reaction to grab a Tokens of the Departed. You can have a maximum number of soul trinkets equal to your proficiency bonus, and can’t create one while at your maximum. You can use soul trinkets in the following ways:

While you have at least one soul trinket you have advantage on death saving throws and Constitution saving throws.

When you deal Sneak Attack damage you can destroy one of your soul trinkets to use Wails from the Grave without expending a use of that feature.

As an action, you can destroy one of your soul trinkets to ask the spirit associated with the trinket one question. The spirit appears to you and answers in a language it knew in life. It doesn’t have to be truthful, and it answers as concisely as possible, eager to be free. The spirit knows only what it knew in life, as determined by the DM.

And to top it off your Sneak Attack increases to 5d6, which also means your Wails from the Grave increases to 3d6! “Life’s cheap. Death pays.”

(Artwork by Jean “Curing” Go. Made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 18 - FIGHTER 9

9th level Rogues get another Spell Shield with Indomitable. Once per Long Rest when you fail a saving throw, you can reroll it! It’s really that simple.

LEVEL 19 - FIGHTER 10

10th level Arcane Archers get another Arcane Shot Option. What? Did you want actual class features? Too bad! Regardless take whatever option you think will be useful honestly, because we got everything we wanted from the earlier levels.

LEVEL 20 - FIGHTER 11

Now that you’re finally six-slotted you can attack three times with your Extra Attack, or 6 times with Action Surge!

FINAL BUILD

PROS

I've got values; they stack up nicely - Three attacks per turn is good in its own right, but you’ve also got Arcane Shots, a Sneak Attack that can affect two targets, and Radiant Soul to add a flat +20 to your damage every turn.

I'll fight for a cause; I won't die for one - Having around 150 HP is nothing to sneeze at, but what’s really impressive is your saving throws. Proficiency in DEX, CON, and INT saves means you won’t be failing those saves anytime soon, especially since your Soul Trinkets give you advantage on CON saves!

You've got a problem, I've got a price - You’ve got plenty of utility with Expertise in the two “searching” skills, the ability to interrogate people after death, and of course good ol’ Lucky if things go south.

CONS

Make me work for it - You need a lot of actions and reactions to operate at maximum effectiveness. Soul Trinkets are tied to spending reactions and you need your Bonus Action for Curving Shot as well as your Cunning Actions.

Don't get between me, and my gold - You’re honestly not that skillful for a Rogue, with a lot of dud skills (let’s be honest you really don’t need Athletics) instead of potentially more useful things like Insight or Survival. Sure +13 to Perception is nice but that and Investigation are probably the only two skills you’re notably good at, as your took Expertise in general Rogue abilities instead of team utility.

They say the desert is a cruel mistress - Half your saving throws are very good. The other half...? +1 Wisdom saves are quite mediocre for a common save, and -1 to Strength saves certainly has the chance to hurt. Even if you can reroll them it’s still going to be hard to make those saves.

But you’re reliable which is all that can be asked for a mercenary. Your jobs are to fight and to nab treasure, both of which you’re damn good at. Go ahead and pull this build out if the party needs a reliable marksman, and if you roleplay them well they may not even realize you’re playing a character from League of Legends. Pull a little Sneaky on them.

(Artwork by Alex “alexplank” Flores. Made for Riot Games.)

[la5t-res0rt]

Wanted to ask about beetlelyds, sorry, I thought it was technically cannon? Like in the old comics after the show ended she grew up and married him. Sorry I’m an old school fan and have no idea why this whole thing is such a big deal. Wasn’t the actor like 20 too? I’m sorry if I sound very dumb. I’m not used to this new tumblr.

youre fine you are one hundred percent allowed to especially when you do it civilly as you have done here

first of all the biggest issue faced in the whole what is and is not canon debate is the fact that there are three (four if you count the limited comics run) publicized iterations of my media

i will go over each very briefly just kidding this is going to a long answer so i will spare the dashboard with a readmore

there is the movie which im sure you dont need me to explain the plot since youre an old school fan but basically the climax is that yes beetlejuice does go for the marriage angle in exchange for stopping the exorcism of adam and barbara and his motive for this is so that he can cause as much chaos as he wants on the mortal coil but his plan is thwarted when barbara rides a sandworm into the house which promptly eats beetlejuice sending him to bureaucratic death limbo

the end of the movie features the deetz and the maitlands happily living together with lydia havign a new appreciation for her situation and beetlejuice gets his head made real small which is very funny haha 

so no in the movie they are not canon editors note the actress who played lydia winona ryder was a teenager while filming the movie she turned 17 the year it released 

the next is the cartoon which i will admit has the most grounds for being considered canon but in the end the show is about a middle schooler and her best friend who is a ghost which in itself is a pretty iffy gray area sort of thing but for a childrens cartoon to work a friendship is better than the obvious enemy status they held in the movie

anyway in the cartoon they are potrayed to be very close friends with lydia being the person beetlejuice cares about the most and honestly if you were to watch it with no prior knowledge of the media and if you ignored their massive and obvious age difference than yeah you probably would read it as a romantic relationship 

however lydia is a middle schooler and that is simply immoral

there have been writers for the cartoon who have been credited to say that a relationship is what they were trying to invoke but for obvious reasons they couldnt exactly move forward with that angle with them establishing that lydia is a child in middle school and a fully grown adult man dating a child who is in middle school is immoral and also illegal in the united states and in canada 

this isnt a good argument for whether or not something is canon and i will tell you why with one simple name and that is luke weber

if you dont know who luke weber is he was a storyboard artist on the cartoon steven universe he is known for making a lot of self ship artwork of him and the character pearl

he worked on the show isnt his material canon no of course it isnt it wasnt put in the actual publication and also if memory serves he was eventually asked to leave the project after he drew art of the shows creator giving him permission to date pearl and calling them her otp and a lot of fans hated this because the most generally accepted interpretation of pearls character is that she is sapphic so a lot of people took issue however that again is just a widely perceived headcanon it is never stated what her actual sexuality is no one in that show is because it isnt a show about that its about wait im getting off topic sorry

what im saying is what can truly be considered canon is what you see on the screen and with the cartoon they are definitely the most friendly with each other and that is why so many people in the beetlebabe shipping community take so much stock in the cartoon because it is the easiest to read the relationship between the mas romantic although that is not what the show actually provides in black and white terms

interpretation does not equal canon and in this case no matter what anyone says the fact remains that in the cartoon itself they are friends good friends yes but friends all the same

it is definitely not a show about a grown man grooming an adult and if it were you definitely shouldn’t be stanning it the extreme because grooming a minor is wrong and it is apparently a problem in the fandom

anyway if the cartoon and the movie are both products of their time and there was more leniency on content bear in mind this was the same era as notorious animation powerhouse and known predator john k who was a showrunner on ren and stimpy and he maintained a relationship with a teenager which was an open secret that nobody really took issue with because in that time being a woman in the animation industry was tricky business and your career could be ended easily if you rejected advances luckily time has moved forward and the animation industry although still full of problems of a similar nature at least people are getting called out and punished for it

you can look more into that yourself its really upsetting though

as for comics i havent been able to find good scans of them and im not willing to purchase them but in my search i never found anything about the two of them ever being married in the cartoon again because she is a child i did find a cover where he appears to be getting married and hes asking lydia to get him out of it but im not sure where the comic actually goes all i know is she is standing off to the side shrugging and looking like she doesnt really care

anyway that brings us to the musical which is set in the modern day 

in the original libretto lydia is described as thirteen but since they got an actress who was older in the updated librettos she is listed as 15 and the story is pretty similar to the movie the young girl befriends ghosts and they try to scare her family out etc etc

the major difference between the film and the musical are that lydia and beetlejuice are more like friends like in the cartoon 

she summons him to help scare after the maitlands attempt doesnt really work so he shows up and they have fun terrorizing people together however she drops him for the opportunity to perhaps get her mom back but when no one will help she goes back to beetlejuice who tricks her into almost exorcising barbara

she agrees to marry him in order to stop the exorcism and he only wants to get married so he can be alive again and cause problems on the mortal coil like in the movie in the musical he states several times its a green card thing whihc obviously doesnt make it okay but still

anyway lydia tricks him and runs off into the underworld before the wedding can happen blah blah blah she goes back blah blah and she agrees to go through with the wedding to save her friends and family with a plan to make him go away for good

theres a very tongue and cheek song called creepy old guy which points out how wrong the whole thing is but everyone is going along with it in a very comedic matter and it includes the line 

i cant believe some cultures think this kind of things alright

basically saying yeah this is very very wrong anyway they do get married and beeltjeuice is alive for like 6 seconds before lydia stabs him to death with bad art and he dies thus nullifying the marriage because death do you part etc

so in the musical no at the end of the show they are not canon because he is dead their marriage is nullified and they go their separate ways

anyway sorry about that i just need to make it very clear that these three properties are all very distinct from each other and basically all three are indeed canon since they are publicized material and arguing the validity of which one is pointless editors note all actresses who played with the exception of dana steingold were minors for the majority of their runs as lydia with sophia ann caruso the originator of the role turning 18 during the run and dana being in her late twenties presley ryan however was a minor the whole time and still is one

tldr no they aren’t canon but to the credit of some people in this fandom their interpretation isnt too far of a stretch thanks to the era and some of the writers wishing to imply a relationship between an adult and a child

i also need to address how this is all a big deal and i suggest you take a peak through my discourse tag and check out @leedia‘s blog to see some of the more harmful things done by beetlebabe shippers

the beetlejuice fandom is home to many minors after the musical came out since musical fandom is vast and the ages of its members varies and normalizing pedophilia is harmful to them not to mention the people who have been effected by sexual harassment at the hands of adults

both sides have victims of csa but one side continues to perpetuate the cycle by showing time and time again that this behavior is normal and easily romanticized in the name of coping and literally anyone who has ever been to a good and credible therapist could tell you that posting cp even if it is simulated cp isnt a really good way to cope and you can get mad at me for saying that its totally fine but and im going to remove my character veil here for just a second as a csa survivor myself i think its harmful to not only myself but many others ok the veil is back down

tldr again there is a lot of bullying and harassment going on with both sides having their own issues but there is one side whos issues run a bit deeper in my humble opinion 

thank you for your question it allowed me to talk a lot you are welcome to discuss further with me in dms if you wish i honestly recommend giving the musical a listen because it is very fun and despite what some people say its very clever and if you get a chance to see a boot of it its visually stunning

one last note that i couldnt really fit in here but a large portion of the beetlebabes shipping community ignore the musical because it openly condemns the idea of beeltejuice and lydia having a relationship and a lot of the antis take issue with much of the writing and characterizations of the cartoon just a note that i think is important since were talking about canon

[disaster-bay-leaf]

Ok so these were the cutest~ (ㆁωㆁ)

4, 6, 7, 9, 12, 19, 22, 23, 28, 33, 34, 46, 47, 52, 59, 60, 63, 66, 83, 87, 88, 93, 99

I kno I listed like....all of them lmao but feel free to answer whichever you want and ofc you can ask me in return Baybe ( ◜‿◝ )♡

uHUHUHUHU much content for me to answer, im happy bebe 💜💜💜✨

4 - how do you take your coffee/tea?

hm coffee either Very Black No Sugar (for the sleep deprived me) or iced latte three sugars and theres no in between

and as for tea its All Black Teas That Exist, cinnamon-flavoured especially (but basically all teas that come to mind when u think “autumn”), and rooibos!!! okay basically the only oke i dont like is any type of green tea (which is sad because they look cool but my tastebuds said ✨no✨)

6 - do you keep plants?

honestly id l o v e too because i love plants but,,, im kinda horrible at taking care of them though still way better than the majority of my family (research helps) so the only plant i own is kinda a small-palm-tree-looking thing in a bigass glass jar that i saved from my mother’s plant-destructing hands and its mostly doing well (the ends of its leaves are starting to be yellow tho and im worried:((( )

7 - do you name your plants?

yes!!! though the current one was named by my sister and its called “pickett” after fantastic beasts shsjjsj

9 - do you like singing/humming to yourself?

oh god oh dude you have n o idea

i have absolutely n o singing voice but its something i do constantly to give my brain the right amount of stimuli so basically i listen to music 24/7 and hum to myself 99% of that time

12 - whats your favourite planet?

oh i actually didnt think about this for so long but either pluto (hes a planet screw nasa) or saturn (RINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) or venus (girls,,,and libra,,,)

19 - do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw in it?

okay im gonna be completely honest with yall and say that my every single try at keeping a journal failed spectacularly and i lost motivation after like a few months so my only journals rn are my fancy fake-leather-bound calendar to note tests and assessments into, a kinda roughed up notebook that i uses for noting down poems or scribbling or passing notes in class, and a kinda fancy bullet journal notebook that i used as a book of shadows for a while but since my fountain pen died i didnt touch it

22 - are you a morning person?

n o

i am so not a morning person but i wish i could be because honestly dawns are beautiful

but as it is rn im either sleep deprived all the time and loathe every second of being in an awake state or (if i have a few days of schoolbreak) my biological clock moves forward a few hours and i sleep 2am-10am

23 - whats your favourite thing to do on lazy days with zero obligations?

except for the fact that i dont remember the last time it happened, i would probably spend it drawing outside, watching anime with my sister and riding a bike around the forest

28 - sunrise or sunset?

i love sunrises because its so peaceful and everyone is asleep but also i subconsciously immediately correlate them with waiting for a train to take me to school (because thats basically the only time i see them) so its a bittersweet love especially with my fucked up biological clock

but sunsets are really really pretty too and i see them more often so i cant choose

33 - whats your fave pastry?

and isnt that a millior-dollar question dhsjjsjsj

either cinnamon rolls (i absolutely adore them) or that one specific type of cupcake-shaped-thing made out of shortcrust/bread/whatever its called and filled with vanilla pudding

34 - tell us about a stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

awwww this is cute

okay so basically my two favourite stuffed animals (i still have them, they sit in my wardrobe) were two teddy bears (like maybe 20cm high each of them) and one was pure brown and the other was silver-brown and they had stereotypical polish male names “Waldek” (read. Valdek) and Stefan (i think tho im not sure if i remember correctly, my memory is a feeble thing sometimes

46 - tell us the worst pun you can think of

what dog would never bite you? a hot dog *badumtss*

47 - what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

huh a year ago id say pineapple pizza but i guess i dont hate pineapples that much anymore (tho putting them on pizza is still an abomination) but i think that if id ever want to get rid of anything it would be parsley, i hate that freakin herb (does it count as food tho)

52 - what are your favourite memes of the year so far?

the ever given for sure shsjshjsjsjsjjsj

but bullying tramp stamps is gold and pure tumblr energy too

as for fandom memes: im in love with all keeping-up-with-the-todorokis variations and the fact that the entire bsd fandom looked at fukuchi and said “biTCH” and thats one of the only things we’re unanimous about

59 - whats your favourite myth?

i always liked the kora/persephone myth (though demeter is an overbearing parent to the nth power), loki and thor crossdressing at a party to get mjolnir back, atalanta because shes a queen and id politely ask her to kick my ass, and cassandra because she deserved better, and theres a l o t more because alas i was a mythology nerd but this post is long enough for me not to make this section 20 times longer sjjsjsjsjsjks

but there are a lot of slavic myths that are very cool too, though we dont know that much about them as about the greeks for example

60 - do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

o o o o h yeah i do like poetry because to create such a beautifully sounding thing with only words someone has to be a genius

some of my favs are: some works of nakahara chuuya (thank u bsd for introducing me to this man’s beautiful imagery in his works i swear to god the descriptions do it for me) (also his poem about having hangovers is a mood like i feel you buddy), the raven by ea poe (i know everyone likes it but hOLY DAMN THE INTER/INTRAVERSE RHYMES ARE LIKE,,, BREATHTAKING) (and aso im a slut for gothic horror), and many more but also That One Poem From Welcome To Nightvale about reaching the island in the west,,, only perfect vibes from it

63 - are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organised or kinda leave them be?

okay heres the thing. for anyone else both my playlist library and my bookshelf would be considered pure chaos of a mad man b u t they actually have a highly focused system which means that i sort them based on their vibes, lovability and (in case of books) their age and whether or not theyre a part of a series so i would say my bookshelf is rather organised (when a quarter of it isnt occupying my desk that is) and my music is more organised than not but sometimes it gets out of control and i have to sort it entirely again

66 - what would your ideal flower crown look like?

either entirely constructed of simple white daisies, entirely constructed of only white roses, or something that probably would win a “how many different coloured flowers can one fit in a flower crown” competition

or something purple (maybe not belladonna)

83 - whats some of your favourite album art?

god i dont know if it counts but hozier’s wasteland baby is probably one of my absolute favourites and no one shall beat that

“thrifted youth” (dalynn) and “standard deviation” (danny schmidt) have very aesthetic covers too

also the iconic p!atd too weird to live, too rare to die! album cover,,, its just iconic what can i say

and last but not least matt meason’s pink-and-black album covers (though bank on the funeral is really pretty too but like,,, “who killed matt meason” d o e s it for me and so does the 2017 tribulation single)

87 - what are some movies that you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

this is such a hard question because im not a really cinematography-oriented gal but i suppose that (at the risk of not going deep enough into the cinema world):

- the princess bride

- inception

- night at the museum

- SPIRITED AWAY

- forrest gump

- truman show

- E.T. (i cried okay)

- the lord of the rings (because damn me if this isnt one impressive adaptation)

- parasite

and one more personal recommendation: “ready or not” with samara weaving because goddamn i dont usually watch this genre but holy s h i t is it good

93 - whats the hairstyle you wear the most?

honestly just plain hair down (because having curly hair is a menace), split in the middle when i have longer hair and split on one side when its short

also low ponytails or half-up-half-down when im exercising, or double french braids when my hair doesnt cooperate enough to look presentable in any other form

99 - list some songs that resonate with your soul whenever you hear them

this is difficult because my music taste is a goddamn rollercoaster on a good day, but heres some:

- me and the sky from “come from away” musical (this is sort of a test song for my mental stability, if i cry i aint stable)

- dancing after death by matt meason (okay most songs by matt meason except for like,,, hallucinogenics maybe)

- tears and rain by james blunt

- i will follow you into the dark by death cab for cutie

- almost home by mxmtoon

- anything by hozier really but shrike especially

- payphone, the cover by alex g (i cried to this song so many times)

- burning pile by mother mother (can i roast all my problems please)

- long way from home and cleopatra by the lumineers

- autoclave by the mountain goats

oooh that was c o o o o o o o l as fuck thank you sm so much bebe (and sorry for the long post @everyone else)

[tsumusamu]

asks :D

sorry i took so long to answer these! i just put them in one post so i wouldn't spam too much

Um I read both your series recently and I just wanted to tell you omg I love them so much I couldn’t put down my phone I got so invested into it and if it’s not a bother if you could add me to the tag list for Amorentia and Call you mine🥺💜👉👈

of course! it’s not a bother! i’m happy to hear you’re enjoying the series! <3

hello, i just want to ask if you have any haikyuu fic recommendations (preferably abt bokuto or atsumu)? Or know any other acct/s that write them? im currently on a fic hunt and i just want some writing that’s as good as yours 🤧

hi there! honestly i havent read many haikyuu fics as of late but alkhale on ao3 is probably my favorite author of all time. they have explicit fics but their rated t fics are just as good. i admire them so much!!

I LOVE UR WRTING omgosh am looking forward to the next part of call you mine SO MUCH u have no idea !!! heheh take ur time will be patiently waitinggg <3 take care!!!

i’m so happy you like my writing it means so much! you take care as well ok <3

My emotions went everywhere!! can you add me to the Call you mine taglist please?😆

Of course!

Omg omg omg I really enjoyed the most recent chapter of ‘call you mine’!! I know you were stressed about writing/publishing it but GIRLL IT WAS AMAZING AND HEART-WRENCHING - and it was a great read! Keep up the awesome work, and I’m looking forward to seeing reader and Atsumu’s interactions in the future like UGH MY HEART. PLEASE, YOU LOVE BLINDED IDIOTS. Take care, lovely!! <3 stay healthy and get some good many hours of sleep! :)) 

GLAD THAT YOU ENJOYED IT!! yes i dont think it was my best work but i will do my best to keep writing in the future! they are such idiots that i felt myself cringing so hard while writing LOL </3 i will take care of myself and i hope you do too!!!

can I be tagged in the next update of Call you mine? 

yes!

you are such a talented writer and i just love “call you mine”. i saw that you apologised for making part 4 12k words long, but honestly write as much as you want to bc we all need as much of this series as we can get. (btw i saw that you said you don’t know when you’ll post the next update, but i kid you not when i say that i’ll check your blog daily to see if you’ve posted another part of the series and to check our your other content as well 🤭) 

YES HAHA sorry i do get really long winded sometimes hence the huge chapter that i posted a few weeks ago LOL the last chapter will be even longer so prepare for that....... sorry abt my inconsistency that i cant tell you when i’ll update next but thank you for being so patient and supportive!!

could i be added in the taglist of both atsumu fics 🥺

yup!

i am speed

and would love to be added to your general taglist whenever you update any of your fics!! thanks🤍

of course! <3

can i be tagged for the call you mine 🥺 

yes i’ll tag you :)

i’m in love with the hogwarts haikyuu au! i think it’s an amazing idea that needs more stories

ME TOO ANY HOGWARTS AU HAS ME GOING INSANE I THINK IT’S ONE OF THE MOST ENTERTAINING AUS TO BOTH READ AND WRITE. i will definitely be writing more hogwarts haikyuu in the future!!

i forgot to add to that last post that what you’re writing is wonderful and amazing and can’t wait for part 4!

thank you so much for your support!

call you mine is such a masterpiece, you’re such an amazing fucking writer (like the plot and everything???? GENIUS) and i can’t wait for the next update sndnkejdh 

AHHH ANON thank you im so happy that you liked call you mine uiefdiasifua im currently working on the update rn thanks for being patient!!

Hi i was the ao3 reader who discovered you and wanted to drop by and say i am sooo excited to read your latest chapter!!! i also wanted to say I love LOVE major love your hogwarts au fic! idk if you know james potter but you probably do seeing as you made an au but atsumu reminds me soo much of young james potter!! i read some fics of james potter and i find him and atsumu so alike in a a way i would love if you could do more takes on your hogwartsau!!! i could send you the links if you want!!

OMGJOIJAI I hadnt even thought of it that way?? now that you mention it james and atsumu in my story do seem to have some similarities but i hope i didnt make atsumu too much of a dickhead D: i will definitely be writing more for hogwarts haikyuu!

can i mayhap get added to your general taglist? your writing is AMAZING, never fails to send me into the stratosphere from how good it is.

sure thing! i’m happy you’re enjoying my work thank you for your message <3 pls dont stay too long in the stratosphere though it’s kinda hard to breathe up there LOL

hiii!!! can you please add me to call you mine taglist?? 

for sure!

IM SO EXCITED FOR PART 5 OF CALL U MINE AHHHHHHHHH

I HOPE IT WILL LIVE UP TO YOUR EXPECTATIONS!!

Hello!!! Can I please be added to the Amortentia and Call you Mine taglist please? ❤️❤️ I think about them all the time, Atsumu brain rot for life!

Also super hyped for your upcoming Osamu fic! You’re amazing, I hope you’re not too stressed! Stay hydrated and get enough sleep you wonderful human being ✨✨✨❤️❤️

YES OF COURSE U CAN AND ATSUMU BRAINROT FOR ME 24/7 AS WELL. i hope i’ll be able to finish that osamu fic soon aaa thank you for being patient <3 please take care of yourself as well!

Will ch.5 be the last chapter of Call You Mine?

yes!

i just wanna say 'call you mine' is 10/10. your writing? *french kiss* i love how you go into detail - we see both atsumu's reader p.o.v - it gives depth to the characters! it's so realistic too. reader's hesitance is very valid - like how can you be sure of atsumu's feeling, when he's getting his dick wet everyday LOL! thank you for writing this, i am enjoying it so much! <3

HDSUUFHASUHF ANON PLS AHHH IM SO HAPPY THAT UR ENJOYING IT and also atsumu will get his dick wet one last time in the final part... u will see ;)

HELLO AMORTENTIA AND CALL YOU MINE ARE SO NICE im gonna cry my favorite tropes + one of them is a hogwarts!au + your writing 🥺❤️

HELLO HELLO THANK U FOR READING MY WORK!!!

i can’t wait for part 5 of call you mine. this series of yours is literally so GENIUS

i really hope that it will be satisfying!! thank you for your kind message!

I wanted to say that your writing is absolutely perfect. The way you capture these characters I’m truly speechless, and each chpt it just gets better and better 😭😭💛 could I ask to be added to the call you mine taglist? Truly, thank you for ur amazing writing !!!! 😭

AHHHH IM LITERALLY BLUSHING... THANK YOU FOR THE COMPLIMENTS IM T___T yes of course you can be added to the taglist and thank you for reading my work!

ALSO YOUR TAKE ON TSUMU IS GOLDEN. IT IS CLASS. PERFECTION. GRACE. I CANT EVEN EXPLAIN. Anywayz CATCH ME CRYING OVER CALL YOU MINE TSUMU AND Y/N 🥲😭💛

PLS ATSUMU IS MY FAVORITE CHARACTER I ABSOLUTELY LOVE WRITING MY TAKE ON HIM. IM HAPPY TO HEAR THAT YOURE ENJOYING THIS TSUMU. AND YES... CALL YOU MINE TSUMU AND Y/N LITERALLY DRIVE ME CRAZY THEY R SO DUMB BUT I CRY WHILE WRITING THEM

Hi there! I love your Call You Mine atsumu x reader fic so much, it’s so well written! Would it be possible for me to be added to the taglist please?

thank you! and yes you can be added!

hi, just caught up with call you mine! i know this might be an odd comment on it but i'm currently going through a similar situation with my best friend as reader is (gray area, we haven't talked in a while) and reading both of their perspectives really brought me comfort. anyway thank you for writing it :)

ooo wow :O i really hope the situation you’re in gets resolved soon im wishing you good luck!! im happy that my writing was able to give you comfort <3 thank you for reading and supporting my writing!

your video edits are just *chefs kiss* my friends and I have been laughing at them for days in our gc and have even inspired memes of our own 😅 hope to see more them, they’re too good istg sending you love from three art school kids from Europe 🥺💕✨

??!#())(!@ OMG HAHAHA i would love to see some of the memes you guys came up with LOL sending love right back at you <3

hi love !! can i be added your gen tag list if you have one?

yes, i’ll add you!

Hello! Sorry for the bother but I’m suck a HUGE fan of your smau! And I’m talking about “Call You Mine” it’s so good and depressing...but that isn’t the point! I know you are busy with something else but I would like to ask if it’s be alright if I made a small fic about that story? If not, that is completely fine and understandable!

Thank you for your time and cya next time!!

yup yup that series comes with an angst tag for a reason! you’re not being a bother don’t worry! i would prefer for no fics to be made based off of the story, i’m sorry :( but thank you for asking!

I just discovered your blog and I love your writing so much.

I was wondering if I could be added to the tag list for call you mine with atsumu x reader? This story hurts me so much and it's written so well.

Thank you and have a nice day 🧡

hi! thank you for supporting my writing! yes you can be added to the taglist and im sorry it hurts </333 hope you have a nice day too bb

When do you think the next part of amortentia will be up? It’s my favorite series 😫 (no rush though!!!!)

hmmm im really not sure unfortunately :(

Sorry to bother, but I literally went through every part of Call you Mine just now AND I LOVE EVERY BIT OF IT. Oh my goodness it hurts how much I love it. The friendship and the unspoken love for each other that leads to a long yearning for each other is literally my fanfic bread and butter. ITS SO DARN GOOD and I felt like I needed to tell you that. Anyways, I hope you are having an amazing week, you’re taking care of yourself, you’re safe and healthy! Thank you for what you do! 🤗

IM SO HAPPY TO HEAR THAT YOU LOVE IT. GENUINELY. KNOWING THAT PEOPLE ARE ENJOYING MY WORK MAKES ME SMILE SO BIG. THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME YOUR THOUGHTS. please take care yourself as well, and thank you for your ask!

Hi! I recently saw your atsumu x reader fic on ao3 (Call you mine) and I haven't read it yet but I've seen others talk about it on tumblr so I was wondering if I could be added to a tag list for that fic (if you have one ofc). Feel free to ignore this ask if you don't have one or it's full!

yes i can add you the taglist! i hope you’ll enjoy the fic whenever you decide to read it! <3

[wundrlss]

1-92

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? my girl? duh

2. You talked to an ex today, correct? not yet 🙄

3. Have you taken someones virginity? yup a couple people

4. Is trust a big issue for you? eh, depends on the person/my mental state

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? YES

6. What are you excited for? making my girl my wife

7. What happened tonight? I cried and drove home

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted? No, there's a fine art to it

9. Is confidence cute? yeah

10. What is the last beverage you had? Dr.Pepper

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? Aaron, My Big Brother (he's my freaking bestie) & My little Brother

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? yeah

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? watch Smackdown

14. What are you going to spend money on next? coffee in the morning

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? it's uhhhhh complicated... but someday I hope.

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? I mean probably, but like in a good way ya know.

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? My Mom, Jordan, My therapist, My Big Brother

18. The last time you felt broken? I dunno I've got pretty tough skin now. but not gonna lie ya bitch cried on the way home bc I miss my girl and other daughter.

19. Have you had sex today? nope can't remember the last time honestly I was probably drunk🤡

20. Are you starting to realize anything? that a bitch is tired

21. Are you in a good mood? I'm sad as shit so whatever

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? yes

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s? kinda?

24. What do you want right this second? @jeunemaman-xo u and a nap

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? nothing unless it was the dumbass. but if I kissed someone else you bet your ass I'm in trouble😂😂

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? yup my pride shines through and through baby

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? I definitely have 12/10 would NOT recommend

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh? My girl and her scratch tickets

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? yes🥺🥺💔💔

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance? I mean probably not but then again I'm more like a 500 chance type of gal because I suck

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? no I don't hate anyone. I seriously dislike some but hate none.

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? yup she better

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? LMAO I can kill a 24 pack in like 12hrs

34. Listening to? Lucy by Still Woozy

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? yes

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is? her house

37. Do you believe in love at first sight? yeah

38. Who did you last call? my grandparents

39. Who was the last person you danced with? kk

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? because I love the absolute shit out of her.

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? oh god I can't remember

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today? hugged my dad for the first time in a long time.

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? plenty of times I'm so funny

44. Do you tan in the nude? depends on availability

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss? take it back? if you mean like rewind so it could happen over and over again... yes

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? uh kinda? I dunno a bitch didn't sleep

47. Who was the last person to call you? my girl to ask me to come pick her up two blocks away 😂😅

48. Do you sing in the shower? yup

49. Do you dance in the car? oh absolutely ask storm😅

50. Ever used a bow and arrow? yes

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? I'm more of a behind the camera person. but like my boudoir shoot a yearish ago

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? I like them

53. Is Christmas stressful? No I'm a Christmas queen.

54. Ever eat a pierogi? yes I don't like them lol

55. Favorite type of fruit pie? uh something in the berry family? or cherries or nectarines or peaches holy shit plums *chefs kiss*

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? neurosurgeon, anesthesiologist, OB, princess?

57. Do you believe in ghosts? yes

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? all the time, my past lives to tryna teach me shit and I believe that.

59. Take a vitamin daily? LMAO, no dude I cant even stay on my psych meds

60. Wear slippers? do birks count?

61. Wear a bath robe? Occasionally

62. What do you wear to bed? T-shirt, or Jammies

63. First concert? Dixie Chicks or Avril Lavigne

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? Target

65. Nike or Adidas? Nike

66. Cheetos Or Fritos? Cheetos

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? I like both but I'd rather have sunflower seeds

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song? hmmmm

69. Ever take dance lessons? yes

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? my wife gonna be a hottest trophy wife I swear. 🥵🥵🥵 but honestly she can do or be whatever she wants to be. she's my queen 🔒

71. Can you curl your tongue? yup

72. Ever won a spelling bee? yup

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? yup

74. What is your favorite book? Go Ask Alice

75. Do you study better with or without music? I don't study but if I did, without because I'm too easily distracted.... mini concert

76. Regularly burn incense? yes, sage and Palo Santos sticks to clean my crystals and my tools

77. Ever been in love? yes a time or two

78. Who would you like to see in concert? I just wanna rave ma😩😩

79. What was the last concert you saw? I went to Thunderdome in Feb⚡️😎

80. Hot tea or cold tea? Hot tea

81. Tea or coffee? Tea honestly

82. Favorite type of cookie? gingerbread or snickerdoodle

83. Can you swim well? yes I was on swim team

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? yes

85. Are you patient? not really but I can be if I have to.

86. DJ or band, at a wedding? Ask my wife

87. Ever won a contest? not really

88. Ever have plastic surgery? not yet

89. Which are better black or green olives? black

90. Opinions on sex before marriage? I don't care

91. Best room for a fireplace? All

92. Do you want to get married Yes, someday. ya know what they say 3rd tries a charm

[kiwi]

Hi I love your art!! I was just wondering how old you were when you started posting online? I'm almost 16 and I still haven't started posting my art online. I feel like my art is "good enough" to start posting it online but at the same time I'm always constantly working to get better so I don't want to regret starting an account too early in my artistic development. Sorry for rambling but do you have any advice for starting to post onlinr? Social media is nervewracking and I dont want to mess up

hi, thanks anon!

i was 11 when i joined deviantart and hooooooo ooooooOOOOOO BOY im glad i deleted that mess. it wasnt because of the art at all though, i actually made a lot of friends that way and even though there was the odd meanie, every like and comment really encouraged me to keep going! the only reason i dont recommend doing it that young is because i was baby and didnt kno how to act online. if you say dumb stuff on the internet as a tiny bastard it can come back to bite you in the ass

but by all means, if you know how to conduct yourself in a reasonable way online, please post your art! there is absolutely no milestone you should reach before it’s acceptable to post your work. you should post just for the joy of it! if sharing your work doesnt bring you happiness, keep it private for your own enjoyment, but personally sharing my work has been very encouraging for me to keep going

i was 14 when i started posting art on tumblr, and 15 or 16 when i started making youtube videos. and i really did love it! i didnt do it for money at that point, i just did it because it made me happy to network and grow a channel based on something that i made all by myself. do i like every piece that i made back then? hell fuckin no! did i make some real ugly art a bunch of times? hell fuckin yea! but do i feel that sharing my art has stunted my growth? absolutely not. it’s done the opposite! just because you start posting doesn’t mean you’ve “made it” and youre done improving. you can change and learn so much by opening up to your peers online!

as far as advice for posting online goes... (under a readmore to save space and in case i wanna add something later)

1. as i said before.... dont be a little jerk lol. ive learned over the years to treat my online art accounts in a professional way. just share your art and try not to get into shit with strangers for no reason

2. similarly, dont feel the need to respond to bad comments. try to learn the difference between a helpful critique and a troll! and trust me, you will get plenty of both. also, just because youre sharing your work doesnt necessarily mean you have to acknowledge and follow every piece of criticism you receive, sometimes you just want to share art for the fun of it and thats fine! learn to delete comments and move on

3. utilize tags! tag the most popular things associated with your art first. tumblr only tracks the first five tags, so make sure to tag the fandom it’s associated with before adding your in-tag commentary if you have any. go wild with tags on other sites though honestly it cant hurt. on youtube i put like 50 tags on every video that even vaguely have to do with the vid’s subject matter, just to increase the chance that itll show up in more peoples searches

4. if social media is nervewracking to you, just start posting on the site you’re most comfortable with first. maybe just start sharing with your friends and family before you reach out to bigger communities. eventually, you can start posting on multiple sites to maximize the amount of views you get

5. just have fun! drawing fanart is a great way to both get exposure, and find people who like the same things you do. fanart is an awesome part of online communities and everyone enjoys a brand new piece of their favorite show, game, or character! if posting isn’t fun for you, don’t stress yourself out with it.

good luck!