#i read the short story and it is. fueling me.

[ditterdoob]

i love making up lore and then crying about the lore that i just made up

also mauga hugs because i think theyd be lethal

[icewindandboringhorror]

Recent ones of these even though they all look the same lol.. forcing myself to document progress..

[mcmissileproof]

tfw you write something that's not actually about you, literally or metaphorically, but it's just close enough that you hesitate to share it with anyone else in case they use it to draw seriously incorrect conclusions about you

[mrsfancyferrari]

Good Luck Kiss

Summary: Lando is a fully independent guy until you are around.

Song: Under The Influence by Chris Brown

Author’s note: I can't write short stories to save my life. I hope you enjoy this long journey which may take a full day to read. Please like, reblog and share this! <3

Word count: 8.6k

MASTERLIST - F1

Once upon a time, in the bustling world of Formula 1, there lived a young and aspiring driver named Lando Norris. Lando was known for his quick reflexes, fearless racing style, and unwavering determination.

However, there was one aspect about Lando that many people didn't know - he was a fully independent guy, except for when he was around a certain someone.

It all started when Lando Norris attended the annual Formula 1 convention.

Amidst the glitz and glamour of the event, he stumbled upon a mysterious stranger. The woman's name was Y/N, and you were equally passionate about motorsports.

The two instantly connected over your shared love for speed and adrenaline.

As they chatted, Lando couldn't help but be drawn to your infectious laughter and genuine enthusiasm. They spent the entire evening together, discussing their favorite races, memorable moments, and even daring each other to try out some racing simulators.

It was a night that neither of them would ever forget, as they had found in each other a kindred spirit and a racing partner like no other.

"Wow! You're good," Lando said, flirting/teasing. "You should come over to the McLaren paddock to check it out," he added with a mischievous grin, knowing that you couldn't resist the chance to get a behind-the-scenes look at the heart of Formula 1.

"You're inviting me to the McLaren paddock? Are you serious?" you asked, a mix of excitement and disbelief evident in your voice.

"I would absolutely love to! That's like a dream come true for any Formula 1 fan," you replied, unable to contain your excitement.

Lando smirked, already getting used to your smile. "Well, get ready for the ride of your life," he said, his eyes gleaming with anticipation. "Because once you step into the McLaren paddock, you'll never want to leave."

Fast forward to the present, you had become Lando's best friend and constant companion both on and off the racetrack. You were there to support him through every victory and to lift him up during the challenging moments.

Together, you formed an unbreakable bond, a dynamic duo that pushed each other to new heights. Whether it was strategizing race tactics, cheering from the pit lane, or simply sharing a laugh after a long day, you were inseparable.

The McLaren paddock had become a second home for you, a place where memories were made, dreams were pursued, and the thrill of Formula 1 was lived to the fullest.

In addition to your close friendship with Lando, you also formed strong connections with the other drivers and their partners. The paddock became a tight-knit community where you shared laughs, stories, and even the occasional friendly competition.

It was a unique bond that extended beyond the racetrack, creating lifelong friendships that would continue to flourish even after the checkered flag fell.

As time went on, Lando found himself spending more and more time with you when they weren't in the paddock, and the press kept catching them together. Speculations about a romantic relationship between the two of you started circulating, fueling rumors and adding an extra layer of excitement to your already thrilling lives.

However, both of you remained tight-lipped about the nature of your relationship, preferring to keep it private and let the speculation run its course.

"Have you heard the latest rumors about Y/N and Lando? They're definitely more than just friends, I can feel it!" one fan excitedly whispered to another in the paddock.

"I don't know, they've always been so secretive about their relationship. But I wouldn't be surprised if they're actually together," replied another, their eyes fixated on you and Lando as you laughed together nearby.

"I heard they're the perfect match, both on and off the track. They bring out the best in each other," chimed in a journalist, discreetly taking notes.

"Well, whatever their relationship status is, they make a formidable team. I've never seen Lando so focused and driven before," commented a fellow driver, watching Lando's improved performance.

"I guess we'll just have to wait and see if they ever confirm it. But until then, I'm rooting for them," concluded a teammate, smiling in support. . . .

"Where's Y/N?" Lando complained, sulking after not seeing his best friend for three hours.

This morning, he was required to film a go kart video for Quadrant for their marketing campaign and it was suggested that you be a part of it, which he had no problem with at all, he wanted you to be there regardless.

"Don't worry mate, I'm sure your girlfriend will be here soon," Max teased, nudging his shoulder against Lando's.

Lando gently shoved him back for his comment, a playful smile on his face. "She's not my girlfriend, Max. Y/N and I are just really close friends," he clarified, emphasizing the word 'friend' to make his point.

Deep down, though, Lando couldn't help but wonder if there could ever be something more between them.

"Yeah, yeah," Max replied, not believing him one bit. "I've seen the way you two look at each other. There's definitely something more going on there, mate."

Before Lando could talk back, footsteps were heard, and you emerged from the crowd of staff.

You emerged from the crowd of staff, donning a sleek black leather jacket that hugged your figure perfectly. Underneath, you wore a vibrant orange crop top that accentuated your curves and matched the colour of the McLaren, paired with high-waisted jeans that showcased your long legs.

Completing the ensemble were a pair of white sneakers that added a touch of casual coolness to your overall look.

As you approached Lando and Max, the mischievous smile on your lips hinted at the adventures that awaited the three of you, fueling Lando's curiosity even further about the potential for something more than just friendship between you.

"Sorry I'm late, boys. Traffic was a nightmare," you said, smiling at Lando, who couldn't help but blush at the sight of you.

"It's okay, we can start now," Lando assured, avoiding your eyes to calm down a bit.

"But when I'm 5 minutes late, I get yelled at," Max muttered beside him and received another shove from Lando.

Lando took a deep breath, trying to collect his thoughts as he prepared to introduce the go-karting video.

With you and Max standing beside him, he couldn't help but feel a surge of nervous excitement. "Alright, everyone, welcome to Quadrant's go-karting extravaganza!" Lando exclaimed, his voice filled with enthusiasm.

"Today, we have two special guests joining us for some adrenaline-pumping action. Please give a warm welcome to the one and only Y/N and the ever-competitive Max!"

The crowd cheered, and Lando glanced at you. A mixture of anticipation and something else he couldn't quite put his finger on coursing through him.

Max playfully nudged Lando's shoulder, adding, "And let me tell you, folks, the competition between Lando and Y/N is about to get intense. I can't wait to see who comes out on top!"

After explaining the rules, the three of them started to change into their racing suits. Max slipped into his familiar Red Bull suit, while you and Lando excitedly put on the McLaren suits.

As Lando muttered, "Let me help you with that," he reached for your helmet, his fingers grazing your cheek as he brushed your hair away.

The intensity in his eyes remained unbroken as he carefully positioned the helmet on your head, his touch lingering for a moment longer than necessary.

"Oh my god! You two better get a room," Max said beside you two, looking more frustrated than the two of you felt about your feelings for each other.

Lando quickly let go of you, a faint blush still lingering on his cheeks, and you said a quick thank you before rushing over to where Max was since it was you vs Max first.

The anticipation and excitement in the air was palpable as you both prepared to show off your go-karting skills.

You both got into your go-karts with the determination to start the video with a great race to capture the viewer's attention.

You gripped the wheel of your go-kart tightly, your heart pounding with anticipation. Lando raised the starter pistol, his eyes focused on the track ahead. "On your marks... get set..." He paused, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Go!"

The sound of the pistol echoed through the air, and you and Max shot off like lightning. The thrill of the race fueled your determination to come out on top.

The wind whipped through your hair as you maneuvered your kart around the bends. The thrill of the race pushing you to your limits. As the laps flew by, the competition between you and Max intensified, fueling the adrenaline coursing through your veins.

With adrenaline coursing through your veins, you pressed down on the accelerator and zoomed ahead, determined to showcase your go-karting skills. Max, however, was not far behind, and the friendly competition between the two of you intensified as you maneuvered through the twists and turns of the track.

Max was hot on your tail, his competitive nature driving him to catch up and surpass you. The cheers from the crowd faded into the background as you focused on the twists and turns of the track, determined to give it your all.

The wind whipped against your face, causing your cheeks to flush with exhilaration. Every twist and turn of the track sent a surge of adrenaline through your veins, heightening your senses and sharpening your focus. The vibrations from the go-kart's engine reverberated through your body, adding to the excitement of the race.

As the race continued, you and Max pushed each other to the limits, maneuvering through the twists and turns with precision and skill. The crowd cheered as you both showcased your go-karting prowess, but Max's determination proved to be unmatched.

In the final lap, he made a daring move, overtaking you with a burst of speed that left you in awe. With a triumphant smile, Max crossed the finish line, claiming victory in the race.

Despite the disappointment of not winning, you couldn't help but admire Max's talent and sportsmanship, knowing that you had given it your all in a thrilling and unforgettable race.

Lando quickly ran over to you as you got out of the go-kart to check for any injuries while you assured him that you were fine.

Despite the loss, you couldn't help but feel a sense of pride for the exhilarating race you had just experienced.

"What about me? I think my legs hurt," Max muttered, acting like he broke his leg.

"That's karma for you," Lando replied, "You should have let Y/N win,"

"Never," Max said with a smirk, "I'm not one to let someone win just out of pity." Lando chuckled and patted Max on the back, "Well, Y/N certainly gave you a run for your money. It was an incredible race to watch."

Max's competitive spirit still brimming, he replied, "Yeah, they did. I'll give them that. But next time, I won't be so merciful."

You chuckle and playfully retort, "Oh, so you're admitting that you were being merciful this time?"

Max rolls his eyes and smirks, "Just you wait, next time I won't hold back and you won't stand a chance."

You and Lando got into your go-karts, the engines roaring to life as you prepared for the race. The smell of burning rubber filled the air, adding to the anticipation of the competition.

"Am I going to get my good luck kiss?" Lando teased beside you, causing a playful smile to spread across your face.

You playfully roll your eyes at Lando's comment and give him a playful shove. "You wish," you respond with a smirk.

Lando pleads, "Come on, just one good luck kiss! It worked last time!"

You laugh and shake your head, "Sorry, Lando, but I don't think a kiss will give you an advantage this time. You'll have to rely on your own skills."

Lando pouted, feeling disappointed that things didn't go his way. Max, who had been growing increasingly disgusted by the playful "flirting" between you and Lando, decided to take matters into his own hands.

Without warning, he fired the starting pistol, catching both you and Lando off guard and initiating the race with a bang. The sudden sound echoed through the air, signaling the beginning of another intense competition.

The race started off with a flurry of speed and adrenaline as you and Lando maneuvered your go-karts through the twists and turns of the track. Both of you showcased impressive skills, overtaking each other and pushing the limits of your vehicles.

As the race progressed, Lando began to gain a slight edge, skillfully navigating the corners and maximizing his speed on the straightaways. You gave it your all, refusing to let Lando take the lead without a fight. But despite your best efforts, Lando's expertise and precision behind the wheel proved to be unmatched.

You could feel the wind from Lando's go-kart as he zoomed past the front of your car, leaving you in his dust. His maneuver was both impressive and frustrating, as you had been neck-and-neck for most of the race.

"Hey, I thought you would take it easy on her?" Max asked Lando after he got out of the go-kart.

Lando chuckled and shrugged, " Since she wouldn't give me what I wanted, I had no choice but to do it."

"You would have won regardless, with or without the kiss," you said, also getting out of the go-kart. "It was a great race, Lando. You really showed your skill out there."

Lando grinned, still catching his breath. "Thanks Y/N."

Since you were tired from all the racing, the two guys decided to do some mini games to pass the time while you rested on a chair. They set up a table tennis table and started a friendly match, their competitive spirits still shining through.

As they played, you watched with amusement, enjoying the lighthearted banter and laughter that filled the air.

Occasionally, they would invite you to join in, but you declined, content to relax and soak in the camaraderie that had developed between the three of you.

After a few rounds of table tennis, they moved on to a game of darts, taking turns aiming for the bullseye with precision and skill. It was a refreshing change of pace from the intense racing, and you found yourself appreciating the moment of respite.

As you laid back on the chair, you started to fall asleep, the sounds of their laughter and the clinking of darts fading into the background. The exhaustion from the race and the adrenaline rush began to take its toll, and before you knew it, you drifted off into a peaceful slumber, feeling grateful for the bonds of friendship that had been formed during this exhilarating competition.

You knew that there would likely be photos or videos taken of you sleeping, but at that moment, you didn't care. The fatigue from the race had overtaken you, and all you wanted was a peaceful nap.

The trust and camaraderie you had built with Lando and Max allowed you to let your guard down, knowing that even if embarrassing moments were captured, they would remain within the circle of friendship.

The intense racing had left you physically and mentally drained, making the peaceful slumber that followed even more satisfying.

The adrenaline rush and the exertion of pushing yourself to the limit had taken a toll on your energy levels, and the nap provided a much-needed opportunity to recharge and recover. . . .

As you slowly opened your eyes, you were greeted by the refreshing sensation of coolness and shade. You thought the sun had shifted and now cast a gentle shadow over the area where you had been napping.

It was a stark contrast to the warmth and brightness that enveloped you before, and you couldn't help but feel grateful for the respite from the scorching heat.

You looked over to see Lando holding an umbrella over you while being on his phone, and couldn't help but feel touched by his thoughtful gesture. Despite being absorbed in his own activities, he had taken the time to shield you from the sun and ensure your comfort.

You couldn't help but admire Lando's striking features. His curly hair, tousled by the wind, framed a face that exuded a combination of youthful energy and maturity beyond his years. His eyes, a vibrant shade of hazel, sparkled with intelligence and a mischievous glint that hinted at his playful nature.

The dimples that appeared when he smiled added an undeniable charm to his already captivating presence. And his infectious laughter, a melodic blend of joy and enthusiasm, never failed to brighten your day.

But it was his kind heart and genuine concern for others that truly set him apart.

His selflessness had been evident in countless small gestures, like now, as he shielded you from the sun without a second thought, demonstrating his unwavering commitment to the happiness and well-being of those around him.

His eyes then flickered up and met your eyes, locking in a moment of connection that sent a jolt of electricity through your body. In that instant, it felt as if time had stopped, and the world around you faded into the background, leaving only the two of you in a bubble of unspoken emotions.

"Well good evening sleepyhead, how long have you been awake?" Lando teased, breaking the enchanting spell between the two of you.

The sound of his voice brought you back to reality, and you couldn't help but blush at being caught in such a vulnerable moment.

"Wait, did you say evening?" you stammered, trying to gather your thoughts.

Lando chuckled softly, his eyes still holding a twinkle of amusement.

"Well, time flies when you're lost in a nap, doesn't it? It's already late afternoon," he replied, a warm smile playing on his lips.

"What about the video?" you asked, sitting in panic that you ruined it because you were asleep.

Lando's smile widened as he reassured you, "Don't worry, we still have time to do the final if you're still up for it. Your nap just added a touch of authenticity to the footage."

You nodded, taking the umbrella off Lando so he could stretch his arm. As he did, you couldn't help but appreciate the way his muscles flexed and the way his sleeves rolled up, revealing his tanned skin.

It was moments like these that made you grateful for the unexpected connections you found in life.

"Finally she has risen from the nap of the century," Max said as soon as he saw the both of you walk into the staff room.

You couldn't help but blush at the teasing remark, but Lando's reassuring presence beside you made you feel at ease.

"We're definitely up for finishing the video today," Lando replied with a confident smile. "We just had a little detour, but we're ready to get back on track."

Lando replied confidently, his eyes glancing at you for confirmation.

You nodded, feeling a surge of excitement and determination to complete the project with the support of your newfound connection.

"I guess I can spend one more hour of my time to beat the both of you in go-karting," Max stated, a mischievous grin spreading across his face.

You couldn't help but exchange a playful glance with Lando, silently accepting the challenge and looking forward to the friendly competition that awaited you.

"Challenge accepted," you replied, a mischievous grin spreading across your face.

The upcoming go-karting race was not just a friendly competition between friends. It was the final showdown between Max and Lando, a battle that would determine once and for all who was the true champion of the track.

As Max and Lando did their slow walk for the video, the tension in the air was palpable. This final race was not just about winning a trophy; it was about pride, honor, and the ultimate bragging rights among friends.

The tension in the air was palpable, and everyone knew that this race would be the ultimate test of skill and determination for both competitors.

As they got into their go-karts, Lando gestured for you to come over.

Curiosity piqued, you approached Lando's go-kart, wondering what he had in store.

He leaned in and whispered, "I'm going to need my good luck kiss if you want me to win this race."

"Well," you whispered back with a mischievous glint in your eye, "if it's good luck you're after, I suppose I have no choice but to oblige. After all, we wouldn't want anything to hinder our chances of beating Max, would we?"

Lando grinned and nodded in agreement, his eyes gleaming with determination. He knew that every advantage counted in this high-stakes race, and he was willing to go to any lengths to secure the victory.

He also just wanted a kiss from you.

You cupped his face and gently placed your lips on his cheek, giving him the good luck kiss he desired.

As your lips touched Lando's cheek, a surge of warmth and determination spread through Lando's body. It was as if the kiss transferred a sense of confidence, fueling him with an electric energy that would propel Lando forward in the race.

As you pulled away, a spark of excitement passed between you, fueling your determination to win the race and prove to Max once and for all that you and Lando were an unstoppable team.

Lando's ears turned a shade of crimson, but his smile only grew brighter. He couldn't help but feel a surge of anticipation and confidence, knowing that he had your support and the added boost of the good luck kiss.

"Thanks Y/N," he said, his voice filled with gratitude and excitement. "With your good luck kiss, I know we're going to dominate this race and show Max who the true champion is."

With determination in his eyes, Lando strapped on his helmet and revved the engine of his go-kart, prepared to give it his all in the race.

Blushing at his words, you playfully tapped Lando on the shoulder before walking over to the starting line with the starting pistol in hand.

The anticipation in the air was palpable as you raised the pistol, ready to signal the start of the race and unleash the fierce competition between Lando and Max.

The good luck kiss not only symbolized your support for Lando, but it also ignited a newfound confidence within him.

Fueled by the warmth and determination that the kiss brought, Lando was ready to give his all in the race, knowing that he had the power of your love and support behind him, making him unstoppable.

The sound of the starting pistol echoed through the air, piercing the silence and signaling the beginning of the race.

Lando's go-kart shot forward, the engine roaring as he accelerated with a fierce determination. Adrenaline coursed through his veins, his focus fixed solely on the track ahead.

With every twist and turn, he pushed himself to the limit, fueled by the knowledge that he had your love and support propelling him forward.

As the race progressed, Lando skillfully maneuvered through the tight corners and overtaking Max with precision. Each lap brought him closer to victory, and his confidence soared with every successful maneuver. His determination never wavered, and he maintained a steady lead throughout the race.

In the final moments, with the finish line in sight, Lando summoned every ounce of his skill and experience. He pushed his go-kart to its limits, leaving his rival trailing behind.

As he crossed the finish line, a triumphant smile spread across his face.

Lando had emerged as the true champion, proving to Max and everyone else that with your support, he was unstoppable.

He immediately made his way to where you were, quickly jumping out of the go-kart and into your arms. The adrenaline was still pumping through his veins as he held you tightly, his heart filled with a mixture of excitement and gratitude.

Breathing heavily, he looked into your eyes with a mixture of exhilaration and gratitude, knowing that it was your good luck kiss and unwavering support that propelled him to victory.

With tears of joy welling in his eyes, he whispered, "Thank you for believing in me. I couldn't have done it without you."

As you took off Lando's helmet, a mischievous smile spread across your face. Playfully, you pressed kisses all over his cheeks, purposely missing his lips. Lando couldn't help but laugh, feeling the warmth of your love and support enveloping him.

In that moment, he knew that your presence and encouragement were the true driving force behind his victory, and he was forever grateful for your unwavering belief in him.

Lando chuckled, his heart still racing from the intense competition.

"If it's good luck kisses that you need to win races, I'll gladly take as many as you want to give," you replied, playfully wiping off the remaining lipstick stains from his face.

Your presence and support had truly become his secret weapon, fueling him with the determination to conquer any race that lay ahead.

Lando couldn't help but blush at your playful gesture, feeling a surge of happiness and gratitude. "I wouldn't say no to more good luck kisses," he replied with a grin, his heart swelling with love for you.

"But can you promise me something?"

"What is it?"

Lando whispered, his voice barely audible. He pointed to his lips, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "If I win a grand prix, you have to give me a victory kiss right here."

Your heart skipped a beat as you looked into his eyes, realizing that his request was both playful and sincere.

With a smile, you nodded and replied, "Deal. I'll be waiting to give you that grand prix victory kiss."

Lando chuckled, his eyes sparkling with excitement. "I can't wait to win these races and claim my well-deserved victory kiss. You better start practicing your cheering skills because I'm going to need all the luck I can get," he teased, his voice filled with determination and anticipation.

"Trust me, I'll be the loudest cheerleader in the stands, I have no doubt that you'll win every race and I'll be right there cheering you on," you replied, your voice filled with unwavering belief and love.

Lost in the moment, the both of you didn't even hear Max do the outro for the video. The chemistry between you was undeniable, and it seemed like everyone around you could see it.

Max, who had been watching your interactions all day, let out an exasperated sigh. "Are you two ever going to get together?" he muttered under his breath, clearly sick of the two of you dancing around your feelings.

It was time to stop playing games and finally admit what had been obvious to everyone else for so long. . . .

And so, the whispers of Lando and your relationship spread throughout the racing community, with everyone eagerly anticipating the day when you would finally become more than just friends. . . .

The anticipation for the Miami Grand Prix reached fever pitch as fans eagerly awaited your relationship with Lando to blossom. The video had ignited a frenzy of excitement, and spectators couldn't help but wonder if the grand prix victory kiss would be the catalyst for your official union.

The anticipation for the Miami Grand Prix was at an all-time high, fueled not only by the excitement of the race but also by the fans' obsession with your relationship with Lando.

Everywhere you went, people asked when you were going to make it official, eagerly waiting for the victory kiss that had been promised.

The pressure was on, but deep down, you both knew that this race would be a turning point in more ways than one.

As Lando delved into intense discussions with the engineers, you took the opportunity to explore the bustling paddock. The atmosphere was electric, with the sounds of engines revving and the smell of burning rubber filling the air.

You wandered from team to team, immersing yourself in the world of Formula 1, gaining a deeper appreciation for the dedication and precision that went into each race.

The atmosphere was electric, with teams frantically making last-minute adjustments to their cars and fans eagerly snapping photos of their favorite drivers.

As you explored, you couldn't help but feel a mix of excitement and nervousness. The Miami Grand Prix was not only a crucial moment for Lando's racing career but also for your relationship.

"Y/N! Long time no see!" you heard from behind you, turning around to see who it was.

Standing before you was Alexandra Saint Mleux, the renowned fashion influencer and close friend of Lando. Her striking features, with piercing blue eyes and perfectly coiffed blonde hair, seemed to radiate confidence.

She was dressed impeccably, donning a tailored white pantsuit that accentuated her slender figure, paired with a bold statement necklace and stiletto heels, exuding an air of sophistication and glamour.

"Alexandra!" you exclaimed, a smile spreading across your face as you embraced your best friend in the paddock.

It had been far too long since you had seen each other, and you couldn't wait to catch up on all the latest news and gossip.

"How have you been?" Alexandra asked, her eyes sparkling with curiosity. You took a moment to gather your thoughts, eager to share the whirlwind of emotions that had consumed your life since the last time you had seen her.

"Oh, Alexandra, where do I even begin?" you replied, a mix of excitement and nervousness in your voice. "So much has happened since we last caught up. Lando, and I... it's all been a rollercoaster of emotions."

Alexandra was captivated by your journey and couldn't help but ask, "So, what's the deal with you and Lando? Are you two finally going to make it official?"

You take a deep breath, trying to find the right words. "Well, Alexandra, it's complicated," you say with a hint of uncertainty.

"Lando and I have been through so much together, and I care about him deeply. But there are still some things we need to figure out before we can make any official decisions."

Alexandra nodded understandingly, sensing the weight of your words. She quickly changed the topic, eager to distract you from the complexity of your relationship with Lando.

With a smile, she began sharing stories about her recent travels with Leo and Charles and the adventures they had together.

As you listened, the worries and uncertainties faded into the background, replaced by laughter and the warmth of friendship. . . .

"Y/N! Miss L/N!" A McLaren staff came out of nowhere, frantically looking for you. You turned towards them, a mix of surprise and curiosity in your eyes, wondering what could be so urgent that they interrupted your long-awaited reunion with Alexandra.

You turned towards the staff member, a sense of urgency creeping into your voice as you asked, "What's wrong? Is everything alright?"

"It's Lando,"

Startled, you turned to Alexandra and said, "I guess our catch-up will have to wait. Duty calls."

Alexandra nodded understandingly, giving you a quick hug before you followed the staff. "Take care, Y/N," she said softly, her voice filled with concern. "I hope everything is alright with Lando."

"I hope so too," you replied, your heart pounding with worry. "I'll find out what's going on and let you know as soon as I can." With that, you hurried after the staff member, praying that whatever had happened to Lando wasn't as serious as it sounded.

As they walked, you asked the staff member, "What happened? Is Lando okay?"

"He won't get in his car," the staff member stated. "He said he needed to see you before he goes."

Your heart sank as you realized that you had let the time slip away. You knew how important it was to be there for Lando before he left, and now you were filled with regret for not keeping your promise. You quickened your pace, hoping that you would be able to reach him in time and make things right.

"Kid, she's not coming," Zac tried to convince him, "You'll see her after the race anyway,"

"But I can't race without seeing her," Lando insisted, his determination unwavering.

"But Lando," Zac pleaded, "this is your chance to prove yourself on the track. You've worked so hard for this opportunity."

Lando shook his head, determination in his eyes. "If she's not coming, then I'm not going," he said firmly, his mind made up.

"Wait, Lando!" you called out, catching up to him just in time. "I'm here, I'm sorry for being late. I couldn't bear the thought of you racing without seeing you first."

Lando's eyes softened as he looked at you. A mix of relief and love filled his expression. "I can't do this without you," he whispered, taking your hand in his.

As you stood there, hand in hand with Lando, you knew that the cameras were capturing this intimate moment between the two of you. But in that moment, you didn't care about the public scrutiny or the potential backlash.

All that mattered was being there for each other, supporting one another through the highs and lows.

The pressure of the race, the expectations, and the regrets of being late all faded away as you stood there, united and ready to face whatever challenges came your way.

"What's the problem?" you asked worriedly, ready to fight anyone for Lando.

"I need my good luck kiss," Lando said desperately, his eyes pleading with you.

"You're telling me that you won't go because you wanted a kiss from me?" you slapped his shoulder gently, your disbelief evident in your voice.

Lando grinned sheepishly, his determination momentarily wavering. "Well, yeah, I guess so," he admitted, his eyes searching yours for any sign of agreement.

Despite the urgency of the situation, you couldn't help but smile at his request. You leaned in and pressed your lips against his cheek, sending a wave of reassurance and love through his body.

"Good luck Lando," you said.

"Thanks, I'll win for you, okay," Lando replied, grinning, running over to his car and driving off at the start of the race.

As you watched him go, a mixture of nerves and excitement filled your heart, knowing that you would be cheering him on every step of the way, no matter what.

"I can't believe that he wasn't going to go without your 'good luck' kiss," you heard Zac say beside you, tired of Lando's behavior.

"I know, it's ridiculous," you replied, shaking your head in disbelief. "But that's just Lando being Lando. He's always had this superstition about needing a good luck kiss before a race. I guess I've just gotten used to it."

"At this point, you two should get together," Zac stated.

You chuckled and glanced at Zac, feeling a blush creep up on your cheeks. "Well, maybe it's about time we make it official," you replied, a hint of excitement in your voice.

Zac grinned and nodded approvingly, knowing that you and Lando were meant to be together.

You smiled at Zac's comment, realizing that there was truth in his words. It was clear that your bond with Lando went beyond superstitions and good luck kisses.

As you watched the race unfold, you couldn't help but think that maybe, just maybe, it was time to take your relationship to the next level. . . .

The Miami Grand Prix was a thrilling and intense race from start to finish. Lando showcased his exceptional driving skills, maneuvering through the challenging turns and maintaining a competitive edge.

He faced tough competition from other skilled drivers, each vying for the top spot. As the laps progressed, Lando's determination remained unwavering, his focus unwavering as he pushed the limits of his car.

Despite the challenges of intense competition and the demanding nature of the race track, Lando remained composed and strategic.

He skillfully navigated through tight turns, battled for position, and made split-second decisions to maintain his competitive edge. It was a true test of his abilities, but Lando's determination and skill shone through, propelling him closer to victory.

The crowd erupted in cheers as he made daring overtakes and showcased his racing prowess.

In the end, Lando emerged victorious, crossing the finish line with a triumphant smile on his face, proving once again that he was a force to be reckoned with in the world of racing.

You were on your feet as soon as he passed the chequered flag, your heart pounding with excitement. The roar of the crowd enveloped you as you joined in the celebration, cheering and clapping for Lando's incredible victory.

The moment was electric, filled with a sense of pride and joy that only intensified as you made your way to the podium to congratulate him on his well-deserved win.

Seeing his triumphant smile up close, you couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of pride and joy, knowing that you were there to witness this unforgettable moment in Lando's racing career.

Tears of happiness streamed down your face as you witnessed the culmination of his hard work and dedication, knowing that this victory was not only a testament to his talent

"Let's go, you have a grand prix victory kiss to deliver," Zac said, coming out of nowhere to help you get through the crowd.

People already started to give space as soon as they saw you, having a knowing grin on their faces. It was clear that they recognized you as someone special, someone who was close to the victorious driver.

As you made your way through the crowd, their excitement and anticipation grew, and you could feel their admiration and respect for being part of Lando's inner circle.

The moment you reached where Lando was, the crowd erupted into cheers once again, celebrating not only Lando's victory but also your presence and support throughout his journey.

As you approached Lando, he was still tightly embracing his team, their faces beaming with pride and joy. You waited patiently, soaking in the atmosphere and reflecting on the incredible journey that led to this victorious moment.

The sight of their camaraderie and shared joy warmed your heart, as you knew that their teamwork and support had played a crucial role in Lando's success.

As the team staff pointed at you and yelled, "Aye there's your girlfriend mate!", you couldn't help but blush.

Lando immediately turned around, his eyes falling on you, the biggest grin on his face. He hurriedly made his way towards you, pushing through the crowd, and swept you up in a tight embrace.

"We did it" he whispered, his voice filled with genuine happiness.

"You did it, Lando. It was all you," you said, your voice filled with genuine admiration and pride.

"No, you were my motivation to win," he replied, his eyes flickering from your eyes to your lips.

You rolled your eyes playfully, slowly wrapping your arms around his neck. "Oh please, don't give me that cliché line," you teased, a mischievous smile dancing on your lips. "But I'm glad I could be there to support you. Congratulations, champ."

You pushed his head gently closer, feeling the electricity between you two intensify as your lips inched closer. The anticipation grew with each passing second, and the world seemed to fade away as you both leaned in, your breathing becoming shallow and quick.

Finally, your lips met in a gentle, tender kiss, savoring the moment of victory and shared love. The kiss started soft and sweet, but soon grew more passionate and intense, fueled by the adrenaline and emotions of the triumphant race.

The kiss started softly, a gentle exploration of each other's lips, but soon grew more intense, fueled by the passion and desire that had been building between you for so long.

The once gentle kisses turned into a hungry exchange, as your lips moved together in perfect sync, leaving no doubt about the depth of your love and longing for each other.

As your lips moved together in perfect sync, Lando's hands tightened their grip on your hips, pulling you closer to him.

The intensity of the kiss mirrored the intensity of the emotions coursing through both of you, solidifying the connection that had been growing between you for so long.

Your hands were tangling in his sweaty hair, the sensation only adding to the exhilaration of the moment. The soft strands slipped through your fingers as you deepened the kiss, losing yourself in the taste and feel of him.

Time seemed to stand still as you both surrendered to the passion, knowing that this victory was not just about the race, but about the love that had brought you together.

Reluctantly, you pulled away from the kiss, your heart still racing with desire. "As much as I would love to stay here with you, you have a podium to attend in just a few minutes," you reminded him with a playful smile, trying to catch your breath.

Lando pouted at your response but knew he had to leave. "You know where to meet me right?" he whispered, his eyes filled with longing and anticipation, as he reluctantly pulled away, knowing that the celebration would have to wait until later.

"Of course," you replied, your voice filled with the same longing and anticipation. "I'll meet you at our spot as soon as the podium ceremony is over."

He grinned mischievously, stealing one last kiss before reluctantly tearing himself away from you.

The taste of him lingered on your lips as he hurriedly made his way to the podium, leaving you breathless and longing for the moment when you could meet again at your special spot. . . .

As Lando made his way to the media section to be interviewed for his win, his mind couldn't help but wander back to you. Thoughts of your passionate kiss lingered in his thoughts.

He couldn't wait for the podium ceremony to be over so that he could reunite with you at your spot and continue where you had left off.

However, he then felt something on his lips and he snapped out of it, moving away from it - it was a staff cleaning his lips with a cloth.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm only cleaning the lipstick from your lips," The staff answered, confused of his actions. He always let them clean his face before an interview.

He thought of the lipstick you had on which was now on his lips.

Suddenly, an idea sparked in Lando's mischievous mind. With a playful smirk, he leaned closer to the staff member and whispered, "Leave a little lipstick on, just to remind everyone who truly won today."

The staff member couldn't help but chuckle at Lando's mischievous request. Knowing that Lando was the race's victor and had a certain charm that couldn't be resisted, they nodded and left a hint of lipstick on his lips, complying with his playful demand.

As Lando headed to the media section, he couldn't help but feel a surge of confidence, knowing that he had left his mark not only on the race but also on the hearts of the fans.

As Lando approached the interviewer, he confidently took the microphone in his hand. The male interviewer greeted him with a smile, ready to delve into Lando's victorious race and capture his electrifying energy for the fans.

Interviewer asked politely, "Congratulations on your incredible win, Lando! How does it feel to come out on top today?"

"Thank you! It feels absolutely amazing. The race was intense, but I stayed focused and pushed myself to the limit. The car was performing exceptionally well, and my team did an outstanding job with the strategy." Lando replied with, "It's a fantastic feeling to see all the hard work pay off."

"You certainly had everyone on the edge of their seats! Can you walk us through that nail-biting overtaking maneuver in the final lap?"

"Oh, that was a heart-stopping moment for sure! I saw an opportunity to make a move, and I knew I had to seize it. The adrenaline was pumping, and I went for it." Lando explained.

"The car responded perfectly, and I managed to make the pass stick. It was a risky move, but it paid off, and I couldn't be happier with the outcome."

"I can't help but notice the lipstick stain on your lips," The interviewer commented on.

Lando chuckled, his mischievous charm shining through. "Ah, yes, a little souvenir from the victory celebration," he replied with a wink.

"Just a small reminder of the exhilaration and triumph of this race." The interviewer smiled, intrigued by Lando's playful nature, and continued with the interview.

The interviewer laughed, finding Lando's playful nature endearing. "Well, it certainly adds a unique touch to your victory," they replied. "Now, let's talk about the reaction from your fans. Social media is buzzing with excitement over your win. How does it feel to have such a dedicated and passionate fanbase supporting you?"

Lando's smile widened as he replied, "I am incredibly grateful for my fans. Their support means the world to me. It's humbling to know that my performance on the track resonates with so many people. I couldn't ask for better support."

"As you were about to pass the chequered flag, who or what were yout thinking of?"

"As I approached the chequered flag, my mind was filled with a mix of emotions and thoughts. Of course, my family and friends were on my mind, but Y/N was definitely the one who occupied my thoughts the most throughout the race. Her support and encouragement gave me that extra push to go for the win." Lando answered with a smile, his voice filled with affection and gratitude.

"Was your motivation to get your victory kiss?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Lando said, pointing at his face with a grin. "That victory kiss from Y/N was definitely a motivating factor. Knowing that I had her waiting at the finish line made me push even harder."

"Well, I'll let you go celebrate your win," the interviewer said, acknowledging Lando's eagerness to savor his victory. "But before you go, one last question: what does this win mean for you and your racing career?"

"This win means everything to me and my racing career. It's a validation of all the hard work, dedication, and sacrifices that I've made to get to this point. It's a stepping stone towards achieving my ultimate goals and solidifying my place in the racing world."

As the camera stopped recording and the microphone was taken from him, the interviewer thanked Lando for his time and congratulated him once again on his impressive victory.

Lando ran over to the podium, a mixture of exhilaration and exhaustion coursing through his veins. As he reached for the trophy, a surge of pride washed over him.

This trophy symbolized not only his victory, but also the culmination of years of hard work, determination, and perseverance.

Lando held the trophy high above his head, basking in the cheers and applause from the crowd, knowing that this moment would forever be etched in his memory as one of his proudest achievements. . . .

As you sat in Lando's driver's room, waiting for him to finish with his interviews, you couldn't help but feel a sense of awe and admiration for his incredible achievement.

The way he spoke about you during the interview filled your heart with warmth, knowing that you were his biggest source of motivation and inspiration.

You couldn't wait to congratulate him in person and celebrate this momentous win together.

As you sat in Lando's driver's room, waiting for him to finish with his interviews, you couldn't help but remember the passionate kiss you shared before he had to leave for the race. Your finger grazed over your lips, still tingling from the lingering sensation.

Your hands were tangling in his sweaty hair, the sensation only adding to the exhilaration of the moment. The soft strands slipped through your fingers as you deepened the kiss, losing yourself in the taste and feel of him.

Your thoughts of the moment of the kiss were interrupted by the door opening and you quickly pulled your hand away from your lips, hoping no one had seen the intimate gesture.

It revealed a beaming Lando with the trophy in his hands. His eyes met yours, and a wide grin spread across his face as he rushed towards you, engulfing you in a tight embrace.

His head was buried into your neck, and you could feel his rapid heartbeat against your chest. The scent of victory and adrenaline filled the air as you held each other tightly, savoring the moment of triumph.

The world around you faded away, and in that embrace, you knew that you were not only celebrating his win, but also the deep bond and love that you shared.

"Can we continue what we stopped before?" Lando asked, his voice low and husky against your neck. You felt a shiver run down your spine as his words stirred up the same desire that had ignited between you earlier.

With a mischievous smile, you whispered back, "I think we can definitely make some time for that, especially after this incredible victory."

The anticipation in Lando's eyes mirrored your own as you both shared a knowing look, ready to relish in the passionate moments that awaited you.

Lando's hands were curling around your waist, his touch sending a jolt of electricity through your body. The warmth of his embrace enveloped you, and you couldn't help but melt into his strong arms.

In that moment, all you wanted was to lose yourself in his touch and continue where you left off, savoring every delicious second of the passion that awaited you both.

Your lips molded together in a perfect harmony, the softness of his contrasting with the passion in his kiss. The taste of him lingered on your tongue, a mixture of mint and desire.

As your fingers entwined in his hair, you reveled in the sensation of the sweat-soaked strands slipping through your grasp, adding to the intoxicating thrill of the moment. The world around you ceased to exist as you deepened the kiss, losing yourself in the electric connection that pulsed between you.

The pressure of his lips against yours sent a shiver down your spine, igniting a fire within you that could only be quenched by his touch. Your hearts beat in sync, the rhythm of desire pounding through your chests.

Time seemed to stand still as you surrendered to the taste, the feel, and the sheer intoxication of his kiss.

Every nerve ending in your body came alive, as if electrified by the raw passion that flowed between you.

Lando pulled back slightly, a playful glint in his eyes. "Oh, trust me, baby," he said with a sly grin, "We're just getting started. I have plenty more in store for you tonight."

His teasing words sent a surge of anticipation through you, and you couldn't help but giggle in response.

"Is that so?" you countered, your voice dripping with flirtation. "Well, I can't wait to see what you have in mind. But first, let's celebrate this victory properly."

The air crackled with excitement as you both leaned in for another passionate kiss, ready to explore the depths of desire together. . . .

[icyminghao]

why didn’t you tell me?

pairing: minghao x gn!reader genre: (some) angst, fluff, comfort, drabble, idol!minghao, established relationship warning(s): mentions of eating, fainting word count: 0.8k

summary: minghao sends you some alarming texts in the middle of the night, and you’re left to speculate the abundance of reasons why he would have sent them.

a/n: inspired by 21:20 of this video with minghao and park myungsoo! the ‘mala story’ segment really fueled my delusions omg

xu baobei ♡ [21:23]: We need to talk.

xu baobei ♡ [21:24]: Call me when you see this.

Those two text messages glare at you every time you pick up your phone, waves of dread coursing through your body as you start speculating the reason as to why your boyfriend had sent the texts so out of the blue.

Is he angry at you? For what reason? Is he going to break up with you? For what reason? You don’t think you’ve done anything to upset him lately, so what could be the issue?

Countless thoughts are flooding your mind as you pace around the living room of your apartment, debating whether to call him or not. If he really wanted to break up with you, wouldn’t you be sending yourself to death’s door by calling him?

Sighing, you bite your lip and decide to text him instead.

you [22:12]: talk about what?

Almost immediately, your ringtone blares through the speakers of your phone, and you nearly drop the phone in shock. Sure enough, the caller ID reads your boyfriend’s contact name, and you sigh in dread, taking a seat on the couch and mentally preparing yourself for what’s about to come.

“Hello?” you say as soon as you pick up, your heart rate picking up.

“y/n,” Minghao replies, his voice stern yet soft, like he can’t bring himself to be fully angry at you.

There’s silence for a short while, and you feel like you’re going to explode any second.

“Are you…” you break the silence, nearly trembling, “are you breaking up with me?”

On the other end of the line, you hear something drop. “What? No, y/n, I’m not breaking up with you. What made you think that way?”

“You- you sounded really scary in your texts,” you mumble, internally relieved that your boyfriend isn’t planning on breaking up with you.

“Text messages don’t carry tone in them, silly,” Minghao chuckles.

“I heard you went to the hospital. From Mingyu,” Minghao pipes up after a moment of silence, and everything clicks in your head.

You had indeed been to the hospital the day before upon suddenly passing out while hanging out with Mingyu’s sister, who’d sent you to the emergency room immediately out of fear that something serious had happened to you. Thankfully, the reason why you’d passed out had been due to fatigue, and you subsequently begged her not to tell anyone about it, despite her objections.

You’re guessing that she had told Mingyu about it, which you don’t blame her for, and that’s how you’ve ended up in this situation now.

“I did,” you reply simply, looking down at your feet.

“Are you feeling better now? What happened?” Minghao asks immediately after your reply.

“I’m okay now, it wasn’t serious,” you assure your boyfriend, “The doctor said it was due to fatigue.”

“Are you not eating and sleeping well?” Minghao replies with yet another question, worry laced in his voice. “Should I move back in?”

You start to panic a little at the idea of Minghao coming back to live in your shared home, seeing as to how he had moved to the dorm temporarily to prepare for their upcoming comeback, quickly refuting, “It’s okay, Hao, I’m okay! I think I just skipped a few meals because of work, I’ll make sure to have my meals regularly!”

Minghao pauses, then hums in response, seemingly not satisfied with your answer.

“Why… didn’t you tell me? I could’ve been there,” Minghao’s voice becomes softer, and you sense a bit of hurt in his tone, breaking your heart a little.

“I— I didn’t want to worry you, Hao,” you began, eyes downturned, “You have a concert and a comeback coming up that’s more important.”

“Nothing’s more important than you, y/n.” Minghao replies without missing a beat, catching you by surprise. “I’m your boyfriend, y/n, you can talk to me if anything happens. What if- what if something serious had happened, and I wasn’t there?”

Minghao’s vulnerable tone breaks your heart, and you frown at his words. Throughout your relationship, such a situation had never happened before, and thinking in his perspective, you completely understand why he’s upset, making you all the more upset at your actions.

“I know, Hao, I- I would want you to let me know if anything happened to you, too. I’m really sorry.” you apologise, wishing he were physically beside you so you could hug him.

Minghao sighs, clearly not wanting to escalate the issue for no reason. “It’s okay, darling, just let me know in the future, hm? I love you.”

“I will, Hao. I love you too,” you reply like it’s second nature, because it is.

A comfortable silence ensues for a while, the two of you at ease knowing that your hearts beat for each other despite the physical distance.

“Also, I’m moving back in. Comeback preparations are more or less done, anyway, and I believe making sure a certain someone eats regularly is much more important,” Minghao jests, and you hear some rustling in the background. “I’m on the way.”

You chuckle. You really don’t know what you did to deserve this man, but you know you won’t be letting him go anytime soon.

a/n 2: i’ve come to a realisation that i’m an absolute horror at writing endings LOL

taglist (send an ask to be tagged!): @slytherinshua @viscade @pepperonidk @belladaises @tastymintchocolate @dahliatopia @kwantaro @chanceonceli @hrts4hanniehae @leehanascent @nonononranghaee

masterlist

[jamiebluewind]

I have a strong and normal urge to protec this one O_O

i swear some of the polls on this site look like

[faebled-stories]

Beneath Her Empire

Soloist IU (Lee Jieun) x Male reader

17.8k words

AN: Today is a CEO Double Header. First, it was Kinkvember with Miyeon, and now… it’s IU! 🎉

As promised, here’s the surprise I teased earlier to celebrate hitting 1K on one of my stories. Thank you all so much for your support—it means the world to me! I hope you enjoy this special treat. 💖

Happy reading! 😊

Jieun was a powerhouse. Her name commanded respect across industries, her reputation a flawless blend of ruthlessness and precision. In the sprawling glass tower that bore the insignia of her empire, her presence was omnipresent—etched into every polished surface, woven into every hushed whisper that echoed through the hallways. Her heels clicked against the marble floors like the tick of a clock, each step a deliberate reminder of the relentless drive that had built her kingdom brick by uncompromising brick.

The building itself mirrored her persona: a towering, modern monolith of steel and glass that loomed over the city like a sentinel. Inside, the air was sharp with the faint scent of expensive coffee and ozone from constantly running air purifiers. Every detail had been meticulously curated to exude authority and power—chrome fixtures that gleamed under sterile, white lights; floor-to-ceiling windows offering panoramic views of a city that bent to her will; and sleek, minimalist décor that refused to accommodate frivolity.

Her office was the crown jewel. It was a shrine to control and dominance: walls lined with perfectly organized bookshelves, black leather seating that offered no comfort, and a custom mahogany desk that seemed more like a throne than a workspace. It was a space that demanded deference from anyone who entered. The city stretched endlessly beyond her glass walls, sprawling out like a kingdom laid bare before its queen. To stand inside her domain was to feel dwarfed, insignificant—a single note in the cacophony of her power.

Everyone under her command scrambled to meet her impossible standards. Emails, reports, presentations—each was a gauntlet of scrutiny. A single misplaced decimal or poorly chosen word could summon her icy disdain, her criticism cutting and precise enough to leave even the most seasoned executives reeling. Entire departments moved like clockwork, their precision fueled by the fear of falling short of her expectations.

But amidst this kingdom of submission, one anomaly existed: you. Her assistant. The enigma.

Where others flinched under her cutting words or broke under the weight of her relentless demands, you remained unshakable. Orders that would send lesser employees into a tailspin were met with swift execution, often completed before she could even voice them fully. “Rewrite this report by midnight” or “Fix this mess before the meeting in an hour” were challenges you dispatched with quiet efficiency.

Her sharpest critiques, the verbal scalpel she wielded so effortlessly, glanced off you as though they were mere observations. Your calm unnerved her. It was maddening.

“You didn’t even flinch,” she remarked one late evening, the office silent save for the hum of fluorescent lights and the faint murmur of the city beyond. Her voice was velvet wrapped around steel, her gaze sharp as a knife as she leaned against her desk. The air between you crackled with tension. “Do you enjoy being impenetrable, or is it just your nature?”

You didn’t pause, your fingers moving fluidly across the keyboard as you adjusted her schedule. “I enjoy doing my job well,” you replied evenly, your tone polite yet distant, as though her words were just another task to process and file away.

Her jaw tightened. That calm—that maddening, unflinching calm—gnawed at her. Others stumbled, fumbled, groveled, but you… you stood like a mirror, reflecting her intensity without wavering. And she hated it—or so she told herself.

Because in truth, you fascinated her.

Her empire was built on control. Control over her competitors, her boardrooms, her subordinates. Every variable in her world bent to her will—except you. She couldn’t manipulate you. Couldn’t predict you. And that made you dangerous in a way no hostile takeover or market disruption ever had.

As she watched you work, her gaze softened despite herself. The glow of your computer screen cast a subtle light across your face, and for the first time, she noticed the details she’d overlooked: the faint shadow of your lashes against your cheek, the subtle curve of your lips as you focused, the quiet strength in the way your fingers moved with precision over the keys.

Her chest tightened. The sharp edges of her thoughts dulled into something unfamiliar, unsettling. You weren’t just efficient; you were graceful. And that grace, that quiet defiance of her expectations, made her pulse quicken in a way no competitor or hostile boardroom ever had.

“Is there anything else?” you asked, breaking the silence as you looked up, meeting her gaze. Your voice was steady, even, but there was something in your eyes—an unreadable flicker that made her breath hitch.

She straightened, brushing the moment aside like a stray thread. “That report for tomorrow’s investor meeting—have you double-checked the figures?”

“Triple-checked,” you replied without missing a beat. “It’s already in your inbox.”

For a moment, she felt the faintest flicker of satisfaction. But it wasn’t just your competence that stirred something inside her—it was the unspoken challenge. The quiet question that seemed to linger between every interaction: What will it take to crack you?

She didn’t just want your skill. She wanted your vulnerability. Wanted to see what lay beneath that impenetrable calm. And it terrified her as much as it intrigued her.

The office settled into silence again, the tension lingering like an unanswered question. Beyond the glass, the city pulsed with life, a sprawling testament to her dominance. But inside these walls, her thoughts were consumed by the one thing she couldn’t conquer.

You.

-----

The next day began like any other. You delivered her morning coffee—black, two sugars—and placed a stack of meticulously organized reports on her desk. The room was pristine, her fortress of control reflected in every gleaming surface, the faint hum of the air conditioning blending with the rhythmic clicks of her pen. Each detail in her office was an extension of her, an embodiment of her ruthless precision: the stark black-and-white palette, the pens aligned perfectly parallel, the faint scent of jasmine and amber that lingered in the air. Yet, despite the perfection, the tension was undeniable—thick and unspoken, crackling faintly like a distant storm.

Jieun glanced at the clock, her expression neutral, though the subtle tightening of her jaw betrayed her simmering irritation. Her fingers wrapped around the porcelain mug with just a touch more force than necessary, her knuckles whitening against the delicate surface. “You’re late,” she said, her tone clipped and precise, her eyes darting toward you briefly before returning to the reports. But you knew better—she wasn’t irritated by the time; she was irritated by you.

“Three minutes early,” you corrected, your voice smooth and calm, as unruffled as still water. The slight inflection, the subtle edge, carried a quiet defiance that danced on the line between professionalism and provocation.

Her fingers tightened further around the mug, her irritation bubbling beneath the surface. She looked up at you, her gaze sharp as a blade. “Cheeky, aren’t you?” she said, her voice dropping lower, almost a growl. “Maybe I should assign you an extra project—something to keep that sharp mouth of yours busy.”

You didn’t flinch, didn’t waver. Instead, you met her gaze with the faintest flicker of a smirk—a silent challenge that made her pulse stutter, though she would never admit it. “I’m here to do whatever you need, ma’am.”

The words hung in the air, thick with an unspoken tension that neither of you acknowledged but both felt acutely. Her cheeks flushed faintly, a delicate bloom of color that she was quick to disguise by turning her attention back to the reports in front of her. She shuffled the papers with unnecessary force, the soft rustle filling the silence as though to drown out her own thoughts. But you saw through her; you always did. She wasn’t fooling anyone—least of all herself.

Her voice came sharper now, as though trying to reassert control. “Close the door.”

The soft click of the door shutting seemed louder in the stillness of the room, the final note of an unspoken symphony of tension. When you turned back, she was leaning against her desk, her arms crossed, her eyes narrowed. The faint gleam of the cityscape beyond her glass walls illuminated her features, casting a subtle glow that softened her otherwise hard expression. Yet there was something different about her—an almost imperceptible crack in her icy composure, a vulnerability she fought to keep buried.

“Do you enjoy being so… untouchable?” she asked, her tone sharp, her words biting, but beneath them was something else entirely. Curiosity? Longing? You couldn’t quite place it, but it was there, glinting faintly in her eyes.

“Untouchable?” you echoed, stepping closer, the faint scent of her perfume reaching you—a rich, heady blend of jasmine and amber that seemed to fill the space between you. “I wouldn’t say that.”

Her lips parted slightly, as though she wanted to respond, but the words faltered. Instead, she clenched her jaw, frustration mounting like a rising tide. “You think you’re clever, don’t you?” she snapped, her voice sharper now, laced with irritation and something else—something she couldn’t name. “Always so composed. So… perfect.”

You moved closer still, your steps deliberate, your presence filling the space between you. Her back straightened instinctively, her breath catching, though she didn’t move away. Her chest rose and fell in uneven rhythms, the subtle crack in her control widening.

“You’re the one always testing me,” you said softly, your tone steady, as calm as the eye of a storm. “Are you upset that I pass every time?”

Her hand twitched at her side, her knuckles brushing the edge of the desk as though seeking stability. For a moment, she looked ready to retort, her lips parting as sharp words formed on her tongue. But when you leaned in, the heat of your body brushing against hers without touching, she froze. The air between you grew heavy, charged with an electricity that seemed to hum in the silence.

“You think you can—” she began, her voice strained, caught somewhere between anger and uncertainty.

“I know I can,” you interrupted smoothly, your tone firm but calm, your words like a scalpel cutting through her defenses. Her eyes widened slightly, her breath hitching as you continued. “But let’s not pretend you’re helpless here. If you really want me gone, fire me.”

The suggestion landed like a challenge, and her breath faltered. For a split second, her composure cracked, her expression flickering between control and something raw, something vulnerable. “You think I won’t?” she shot back, her voice sharp but unsteady, her tone betraying her hesitation.

You tilted your head, studying her intently, your gaze unyielding. “Go ahead,” you said softly, your voice even but weighted. “But we both know that’s not what you want.”

Her back hit the edge of the desk as you stepped forward, your proximity dissolving the last remnants of her icy veneer. Her breaths came quicker now, the faintest quiver in her chest betraying her. “You’re insufferable,” she said, her voice trembling slightly, the words lacking their usual bite.

“And yet,” you countered, a faint smile tugging at your lips, your voice carrying quiet amusement, “you’re still here.”

Her fingers gripped the edge of the desk tightly, her knuckles whitening as though bracing against the weight of her own emotions. “Don’t flatter yourself,” she muttered, but even as she spoke, the quiver in her voice betrayed her, her gaze locked on yours as the tension between you reached a breaking point.

“You’re enjoying this,” you observed, your voice low and deliberate, like the steady tide lapping against her crumbling walls.

“I’m not,” she shot back quickly, her tone defensive, but the hitch in her breath and the faint flush creeping down her neck betrayed her.

You stepped closer, your presence overwhelming in the otherwise silent office. The warm scent of her jasmine and amber perfume mingled with the tension in the air as you leaned in, your lips stopping just a breath away from her ear. “Prove it,” you murmured, the words carrying the weight of both a command and a dare. “Lift your skirt.”

Her entire body went rigid, her sharp eyes narrowing as they locked onto yours. “Excuse me?” she demanded, her voice sharp and biting, though the faint waver beneath her words spoke of the battle raging within her.

“You heard me,” you replied, your voice calm but unyielding, the suggestion hanging in the air like a challenge she couldn’t ignore. “Unless, of course, you’re too scared.”

Her cheeks flamed, indignation and something deeper flashing across her expression. Her lips pressed into a thin line as she stared you down, her grip tightening on the edge of the desk behind her. For a moment, you thought she might unleash her infamous temper, driving you back with the full force of her authority. But then, after a tense pause, her breathing grew uneven. Slowly, reluctantly, her hands moved to the hem of her skirt. Her fingers trembled as she lifted it just enough to reveal the delicate lace of her panties.

A soft, almost inaudible chuckle escaped your lips, and her head snapped up, her glare fierce, though tinged with embarrassment. “What’s so funny?” she demanded, her voice shaking but still defiant.

“How easy that was,” you said, your tone a blend of mockery and quiet satisfaction. “For all your resistance, look where we are.”

Her glare burned brighter, her defiance a flickering flame against the onslaught of her own body’s betrayal. She tried to steel herself, but her knees quivered, and her breaths came faster, shallower. The flush creeping down her neck deepened, and her lips parted as if to retort, but the words never came.

You leaned in closer then, your face mere inches from hers, so close that she could feel the warmth of your breath against her skin. Her eyes fluttered shut, and for a moment, her lips parted slightly, tilting toward yours in unconscious surrender, her body leaning forward as if seeking what she swore she didn’t want.

But you didn’t give her what she was hoping for. Instead, your hand moved deliberately, brushing over the damp fabric of her panties, the heat radiating through them impossible to miss. Her body jolted slightly at the touch, her breath catching audibly, a strangled gasp escaping her lips.

You withdrew your fingers, holding them between you both as you met her gaze. “Here,” you murmured, pressing your fingers lightly to her lips. “Taste what you’re feeling right now.”

Her eyes widened in shock, her lips parting instinctively as she stared at you, her expression a tumultuous mix of humiliation, arousal, and disbelief. Her body didn’t pull away, though. If anything, she froze, caught in the intensity of the moment.

“You’re losing control, Jieun,” you whispered, your tone steady, a quiet dominance threading through every word. “But don’t worry. I won’t take it all from you… not yet.”

Her response was immediate and raw—a sharp, trembling inhale as your words sent another wave of tension through her. Her hands curled into fists at her sides, the edges of her nails pressing into her palms as she fought to hold on to the frayed edges of her composure.

“Don’t act like you don’t want this,” you said, your voice calm, almost soothing, but heavy with authority as your hand returned to her waist, your grip firm but unhurried.

Her eyes flashed with defiance, even as her body betrayed her again—her breathing was shallow now, her chest rising and falling in uneven rhythms. “You’re insufferable,” she spat, though the tremor in her voice softened the bite of her words. “This—whatever you think this is—ends now.”

You tilted your head, studying her, your gaze steady and unyielding. “Then stop me,” you said softly, the calm power in your tone making her breath hitch again. “Push me away. Tell me to leave.”

Her lips parted, sharp words poised to cut, but they never left her tongue. Instead, silence filled the space between you, heavy and charged. The flush deepened in her cheeks, and her fingers twitched as though to shove you, but her hands hovered with uncertainty, suspended near your chest.

“Exactly,” you said, a faint smirk tugging at your lips. “You don’t want me to stop.”

Her body tensed, her jaw tightening as though she were bracing herself for a fight she wasn’t sure she could win. “You’re so full of yourself,” she muttered, but the quiver in her voice betrayed her growing surrender.

“And you’re trembling again,” you replied smoothly, leaning closer, letting your breath tickle her ear. “Admit it.”

“I’m not—” Her protest dissolved into a strangled moan as your other hand moved lower, tracing the line of her hips before stopping just short of where she wanted you most. The shift in her stance, the faint quiver in her knees—every reaction spoke louder than words.

“You’re so tense,” you murmured, your tone teasing, as your fingers ghosted over her inner thigh. “Always in control. Always the one calling the shots. How does it feel to let someone else take over for once?”

Her jaw clenched, and for a moment, she looked as though she might fight back. But when your hand pressed closer, her body melted into something softer, more pliant. “This isn’t…” she started, her voice cracking slightly before trailing off into a strangled moan as your fingers finally brushed against the damp lace again, teasing with deliberate slowness.

You chuckled softly, the sound low and deliberate. “That’s all it took?” you teased, each word cutting through the haze between you both. “For all your fire, all your resistance…”

Her glare flickered weakly, but it was drowned out by the way her body leaned instinctively into your touch. Her breaths came in shallow, uneven gasps, and her hands gripped the desk behind her as though it were the only thing keeping her grounded.

“Look at you,” you said, your voice laced with quiet amusement, your fingers moving deliberately slow, drawing shivers from her with every teasing motion. “All that power, all that fire… and yet here you are.”

Her lips parted again, a sharp retort dying on her tongue as a soft, desperate sound escaped her instead. She was trembling now, her knees threatening to buckle as your touch brought her closer to the edge.

And then, in one fluid motion, you slid her panties to the side and plunged a single finger inside her. The sharp gasp she released was almost a cry, her walls immediately clenching around you as if they had been waiting, anticipating. The heat and wetness that greeted you were overwhelming, her body responding to your touch as though it had been longing for this exact moment.

Your movements were deliberate, unhurried as you curled your finger against the perfect spot inside her, pressing firmly with an accuracy that made her entire body jolt. Her legs trembled, her back arching slightly, and the sound she made—a raw, guttural moan—was one you knew she hadn’t planned to release.

Her climax hit her like a wave, crashing over her with an intensity that seemed to ripple from her very core. Her cries were unrestrained, unguarded, each one tumbling from her lips in a way that seemed to shock even her. Her knees buckled beneath her, her grip on the desk the only thing keeping her from collapsing entirely.

You didn’t move your finger. Instead holding it there, pressed against her most sensitive spot, letting her ride the full force of her release. Her body pulsed around you, clenching and releasing in rhythm, and you stayed perfectly still, letting her shudders tell you just how devastatingly effective you had been.

“Perfect,” you murmured softly, your voice calm and deliberate, cutting through the haze of her climax. You felt every ripple, every quiver as though her body were speaking to you directly. “It’s like I’ve known you all along.”

Her head slumped forward, her forehead brushing against your shoulder, her entire frame leaning heavily against you as if her strength had been completely drained. Her breaths came in short, frantic bursts, her chest heaving as she tried to recover. Even now, her body trembled uncontrollably, the aftershocks of her release rippling through her with a relentless rhythm.

You stayed where you were, your finger still pressing lightly against her, not withdrawing, not relenting. Each faint motion, each slight tremor from you sent another shiver coursing through her body. Her hands clung to the desk, knuckles white as if it were the only thing tethering her to reality.

Her breathing began to even out, though the tremble in her frame remained. Slowly, shakily, she straightened, her hands still gripping the desk as she attempted to reclaim some semblance of control. Her legs felt weak beneath her, and her gaze stayed fixed downward for a moment, as if gathering herself.

When she finally spoke, her voice was shaky but carried a thread of defiance, that sharpness she clung to like armor. “This doesn’t mean anything,” she whispered, the words almost bitten off, as if saying them would rebuild the walls that had so clearly shattered.

You chuckled softly, the sound low and intimate, letting the air between you grow heavy with unspoken understanding. Leaning in close, your lips brushed against her ear without touching, the heat of your breath making her shiver again. “You’re body’s seaking me out,” you murmured, your tone steady and deliberate, like a truth she couldn’t escape. “And we both know that doesn’t lie.”

Her fingers tightened on the edge of the desk as though it were the only thing keeping her tethered to reality. Her jaw set stubbornly, her breaths shallow and uneven. “You’re wrong,” she said, her voice strained, defiance dripping from every syllable, though the faint shivers running through her body betrayed her.

You tilted your head, a faint smirk tugging at the corner of your lips. “Really?” you asked, your voice softening into something darker, more deliberate. Without warning, your finger moved, a quick series of three pumps, nothing more nothing less, curling expertly each time to press against the perfect spot inside her.

Her reaction was instant. A loud, raw moan tore from her lips, her head falling back as her knees buckled slightly. Her body clenched tightly around your finger, gripping you as though she couldn’t bear for you to stop. Her hands scrambled against the desk, her nails pressing into the smooth surface as if anchoring her against the force of her own response.

You stilled, watching her carefully, your gaze steady as her body continued to tremble. She didn’t try to pull away. If anything, her hips shifted slightly toward you, her walls fluttering against your finger with an unmistakable need she didn’t dare voice. The sight of her—weak, exposed, yet still trying to hold onto her pride—made your smirk deepen.

Slowly, deliberately, you withdrew your finger, letting her feel every inch as you pulled it free. The wetness clung to you, glistening in the dim light of the room. Holding your hand up, you let her see it, the evidence of her arousal undeniable as her chest rose and fell with ragged breaths.

“You’re not even trying to stop me,” you murmured, your voice low and steady, each word measured. “Do you know what that tells me?”

Her eyes followed your movement, wide and unblinking, as you brought your finger to your lips. With deliberate slowness, you licked it clean, your tongue dragging over your skin as her taste lingered—intoxicating, unmistakable. She inhaled sharply, her breath hitching audibly as she watched, her cheeks flushed with both humiliation and something far deeper.

“Delicious,” you said softly, your tone dripping with quiet dominance. The word lingered in the air, heavy and intimate, wrapping around her like a tether.

Your gaze flicked downward, drawn to the way her lower folds quivered, visibly pulsating with need. The sight made a soft chuckle escape your lips as you straightened, the sound low and intimate, meant only for her.

“You love the idea of me taking control, Jieun,” you said, your voice firm yet calm, the quiet authority in your tone slicing through the charged air between you. Leaning in, your breath brushed against her ear, the heat sending a visible shiver down her spine. “Keep telling yourself otherwise if it makes you feel better. But the way you’re holding onto that desk like it’s the only thing keeping you upright? The way you’re clenching and pulsing, even now?” You let the words hang, heavy with meaning, the unspoken truth settling between you.

Reaching out, you tilted her chin up with a gentle but unyielding grip, forcing her to meet your gaze. Her eyes burned with defiance, sharp and fiery, but it was the kind of fire that flickered, the kind that threatened to extinguish under the weight of her trembling body. Her lips parted slightly, her breathing uneven as though she wanted to speak, to fight back—but no words came. The tension in her body betrayed her, speaking louder than anything she could say.

“It’s all the proof I need,” you murmured, your voice like velvet over steel, unrelenting and sure.

Her gaze locked onto yours, and for a fleeting moment, the defiance cracked. Her body swayed slightly toward you, drawn in despite herself. Her lips moved, as if to form a retort, but silence claimed her, leaving only the faint tremble of her knees and the shallow rise and fall of her chest. She was exposed in every sense of the word, her usual armor shattered in the wake of your calm dominance.

Without breaking eye contact, you reached toward the hem of her skirt, lifting it slightly higher to see her soaked panties clinging to her. The evidence of her arousal was undeniable, a mark of surrender she couldn’t deny. You raised a brow, a faint smirk curving your lips as your fingers brushed lightly over the lace. She jolted slightly at the contact, her breath catching audibly.

“Take them off,” you said, your tone calm but commanding, the words hanging in the air like an inescapable truth.

Her eyes widened slightly, her breath quickening. “You can’t be serious,” she muttered, the faintest quiver in her voice betraying her.

“I don’t like to repeat myself, Jieun,” you replied smoothly, stepping back just enough to let your gaze sweep over her trembling form.

Her fingers tightened against the desk, knuckles whitening as she fought the impulse to push back. But after a moment of hesitation, her hands moved toward her waist. Slowly, shakily, she hooked her fingers into the waistband of her panties and slid them down her legs. The lace slipped away, damp and glistening, and she stepped out of them with a soft, almost inaudible whimper.

Without breaking eye contact, you extended your hand toward her, the weight of your command leaving no room for argument. “Hand them to me.”

Her fingers hesitated, trembling slightly as she held the damp lace in her hand. Her gaze flicked to yours, her eyes wide with a mix of embarrassment and resistance, but she didn’t dare refuse. Slowly, she extended the panties toward you, her lips pressing into a thin line as though holding back a protest.

You took them from her, your touch deliberate as your fingers brushed hers. The lace was damp and warm, and as you inspected it, the glistening evidence of her surrender was undeniable. The corner of your mouth tugged upward in a faint, knowing smirk.

“Open your mouth,” you said, your tone calm but firm, each word an unspoken challenge.

Her eyes widened slightly, her hesitation evident in the way her lips pressed together momentarily. “What?” she stammered, her voice cracking just slightly, a rare break in her usual composure.

“You heard me,” you replied, your voice unyielding as you stepped closer, towering over her as the weight of your presence filled the space between you. “Tilt your head back. Open your mouth.”

She froze for a moment, her pride warring with the command. But slowly, reluctantly, she obeyed. Her lips parted, and she tilted her head back slightly, her breath uneven as her chest rose and fell in shallow waves.

You held the soaked lace above her, the tension in the room thick enough to steal the air. Her lips parted slightly, her tongue peeking out in hesitant obedience, though her wide, uncertain eyes flicked between you and the fabric. Every movement, every unspoken word, heightened the weight of the moment.

With deliberate slowness, you brought the lace closer, the damp material glistening in the dim light. A single drop of her arousal clung to the edge, threatening to fall. Her breath hitched audibly, and though her body remained rigid, you could see the faintest tremble in her shoulders, her vulnerability laid bare.

“Keep your mouth open,” you murmured, your voice low but commanding.

She obeyed, tilting her head back slightly, her jaw tightening with the effort to maintain her composure. Her tongue twitched faintly, her breaths uneven as her chest rose and fell in shallow waves.

Your fingers pressed into the lace, a deliberate, controlled motion as you wrung it ever so slightly. The drop fell, cutting through the charged silence like a stone into still water, landing with precision on her tongue. The faint sound of her sharp inhale followed, her lips trembling as the unmistakable taste of herself spread across her senses.

“Good girl,” you murmured, your voice low and smooth as the corners of your mouth curled into a faint smirk. “Do you taste it? That’s all you. That’s what I bring out of you.”

Her cheeks burned a deep crimson, the flush spreading down her neck as her eyes darted away briefly before returning to yours, wide and uncertain. Her trembling lips remained parted as though she couldn’t decide whether to protest or remain silent.

You tucked the lace into your pocket as though it were the most natural thing in the world, the gesture deliberate and final. Reaching out, you brushed a finger under her chin, guiding her gaze back to yours. “Clean yourself up,” you instructed, your voice steady and authoritative. “I don’t want anyone else seeing you like this.”

She blinked, her breath uneven as the weight of your command settled over her. For a moment, she didn’t move, as though her mind was still catching up to her body’s overwhelming reactions. Then, with trembling hands, she reached for a tissue from her desk, her movements slow and shaky as she dabbed at her thighs, avoiding your gaze all the while.

Satisfied, you straightened your sleeves, your posture immaculate as though the entire exchange had been just another task in your day. As you turned toward the door, you paused, glancing back over your shoulder one last time.

“Next time,” you said, your voice carrying quiet authority, “don’t hesitate when I give you an order.”

And with that, you stepped out, leaving her standing there, trembling and exposed, the faint taste of herself lingering on her lips and the weight of your dominance etched into her very being.

-----

The next day, Jieun entered the office like a storm wrapped in silk. Her heels clicked sharply against the marble floor, their rhythm precise and unyielding. Her tailored suit fit like armor, her every movement calculated to command attention. Colleagues instinctively straightened as she passed, their murmured greetings met with curt nods. To the outside world, she was the same Jieun—immaculate, untouchable, and utterly in control.

Yet beneath the surface, the cracks were there. Her gaze lingered longer than it should have, catching on the way your shoulders moved as you bent over a file, the curve of your neck, the efficiency with which your hands moved as you typed. There was an intimacy to the way you worked—practiced, composed, deliberate. It made her pulse quicken in ways she couldn’t ignore.

When you handed her the morning coffee—black, two sugars—your fingers brushed hers. The contact was fleeting, but the heat of it jolted her like a live wire. She froze for half a second, her grip tightening on the porcelain cup. You stepped back, the perfect picture of professionalism, your tone smooth and detached as you said, “Your schedule’s clear until eleven.”

“Fine,” she replied curtly, her voice clipped, though her throat felt tight, her chest heavier than she would ever admit. She turned toward her desk, her back rigid, but her focus was elsewhere entirely. The memory of your touch, the way your voice had commanded her, the way her body had betrayed her that night—all of it played on a loop in her mind. Her knuckles whitened around the cup as she gritted her teeth, trying to banish the heat rising in her chest.

The tension between you was tangible, like an invisible string stretched taut. Jieun threw herself into her work with ferocity, her words sharper than ever as she snapped at her team for minor errors. Reports that would have been accepted with a terse nod now earned icy critiques. But no amount of work could distract her. Every glance your way, every quiet moment, only brought the memory of your hands, your voice, the devastating control you had over her.

That night, alone in her starkly minimalist penthouse, the ache became unbearable. The lights of the city twinkled through the floor-to-ceiling windows, but they offered no comfort as she lay in her immaculate bed, staring at the ceiling. Her fingers curled against the sheets, and her mind betrayed her again, replaying every word you had said, every touch, every look. She squeezed her thighs together, the tension unbearable.

Her hand drifted downward, her fingers brushing against her skin as she tried to mimic the way you had touched her. Her movements were hesitant at first, then desperate, but it wasn’t the same. Her breath hitched as she tried again, pressing harder, angling differently, searching for the precision you had wielded so effortlessly. But no matter how much she tried, the release she craved remained elusive. Her frustration bubbled over as she flung the covers off and stalked to the bathroom, glaring at her flushed, disheveled reflection in the mirror.

Pulling open a drawer, she retrieved a sleek, expensive toy. It gleamed under the bathroom light, a piece of technology she rarely used. She returned to the bed, her movements stiff with frustration. Pressing the toy against herself, she let out a shaky breath as the vibrations buzzed against her sensitive skin. She moved it in slow circles, mimicking the rhythm she remembered, trying to summon even a fraction of the sensation you had evoked.

It wasn’t enough.

Her jaw clenched as she pushed the toy deeper, angling it to mimic the way your fingers had curled inside her, pressing against her in ways that left her trembling. But this was hollow, mechanical, and the spark she craved was nowhere to be found. She threw the toy aside with a frustrated growl, her chest rising and falling with uneven breaths. The ache remained, gnawing at her resolve, a constant reminder of what she couldn’t replicate.

The next night was no different. She tried again, her fingers this time, her movements more frantic. Then the toy. Then both. Still, nothing. The emptiness mocked her, her body betraying her again and again. She pressed harder, her breaths ragged, but the hollow frustration only grew. With a strangled noise, she shoved the covers away and stalked to the window, glaring at the city below as though it could offer her some answer.

By day, she tried to maintain her façade. Her heels clicked against the office floors, her commands sharp and efficient. But the cracks began to show. Her sharp retorts to her team lacked their usual edge, her words often trailing off mid-sentence as her mind wandered to you. She found herself stealing glances, her gaze lingering too long in meetings. The tilt of your head, the calm authority in your tone, the way your hands moved with steady confidence—it maddened her how unaffected you seemed. As if nothing had changed. As if she were the only one consumed by what had happened.

She stayed late at the office, hoping you might linger as you had that night. But you didn’t. The emptiness of the space only amplified the ache, the silence pressing against her as she stared out the window, her hands clenched into fists. The lights of the city blurred as her vision wavered, her breath uneven.

Even as she left the office, the echo of your voice followed her, filling every quiet moment, every still space. And no matter how much she tried to deny it, no matter how much she tried to distract herself, the truth gnawed at her with relentless persistence.

Then, one morning, you didn’t show up to work.

At first, Jieun dismissed it. Perhaps you were late, caught in traffic, or dealing with some mundane emergency. But as the hours ticked by, a strange unease began to curl in her chest. You were never late, never absent without notice. You were the definition of reliability—steady, unshakable, always one step ahead.

By mid-morning, her irritation had grown into something sharper. The absence of your calm efficiency left her world slightly off-kilter, like a watch with a missing gear. Tasks piled up on her desk, unanswered emails blinked back at her, and she found herself snapping at her team for minor mistakes. She couldn't focus, the edge in her voice cutting deeper with each passing hour.

Where were you? Why hadn’t you called or emailed?

By the time the afternoon sun cast long shadows across her office, she couldn’t take it anymore. She sat at her desk, fingers drumming against the sleek surface as she stared at her computer screen. Your name was highlighted in your employee file, the information a mere click away. For a moment, her hand hovered over the mouse, hesitation creeping in. What was she doing? This was unprofessional. Reckless.

But the need gnawed at her—the unanswered questions, the silence that amplified her already simmering frustration. She clicked. Your address filled the screen, a piece of information she had no business using. Her lips pressed into a thin line as she grabbed her coat and left the office without a word, her heels clicking sharply against the marble floor.

The drive was a blur, her thoughts spiraling as she gripped the steering wheel tighter than necessary. The logic she prided herself on, the control she wielded like a weapon, seemed to dissolve with each mile. What was she doing? Why did it matter so much?

When she arrived at your address, the reality of her actions hit her like a cold wind. Standing in front of your door, her confidence faltered. Her hand hovered over the handle as her breaths came uneven and shallow. What was she expecting? An explanation? A confrontation? An answer to the ache that had plagued her since the last night she saw you?

Her teeth clenched as she pushed the doubts aside. She didn’t chase after people. She didn’t lose control. And yet, here she was.

The door was unlocked.

Her heart jumped in her chest as she turned the handle and stepped inside. The air was warm, carrying the faint scent of coffee and something distinctly, undeniably you. The space was quiet, calm—a blend of simplicity and understated authority that mirrored your demeanor perfectly. Every detail, from the neatly arranged bookshelves to the small but deliberate decorations, felt like an extension of you. It was intimate in a way that made her feel like an intruder.

“Hello?” she called out, her voice steady despite the way her pulse raced.

There was no answer.

She hesitated for a moment before stepping further inside, her heels muffled against the soft floor. Her sharp eyes scanned the room, taking in the small but significant signs of your presence. A book left open on the coffee table, a jacket draped neatly over a chair. It was so distinctly you that it made her chest tighten.

And then she heard it.

Soft, muffled cries coming from a room down the hall.

Jieun froze, her breath catching in her throat. The sound was faint, almost drowned out by the silence, but unmistakable. It was laced with desperation and something else she couldn’t quite place. Her pulse quickened as she took a step forward, then another, each movement feeling heavier than the last.

Her hand hesitated on the door handle. For a moment, the remnants of logic screamed at her to stop, to turn around and leave. This was a line she shouldn’t cross. But the sound—those muffled cries—pulled her forward, her curiosity and something far more visceral overriding her better judgment.

She pushed the door open.

What she saw made her breath hitch audibly, her chest tightening in a way that was equal parts shock and something darker, something she couldn’t yet name.

The room was dimly lit, bathed in the warm, flickering glow of candles that cast dancing shadows across the walls. Racks of tools were arranged meticulously—a showcase of control and intent. Ropes coiled neatly, paddles hung like an artist's brushes, and cuffs gleamed under the faint light. The air was thick, carrying the intoxicating mix of leather and something deeper, more primal, that made IU’s chest tighten the moment she stepped inside.

Her breath hitched as her eyes landed on you. You stood in the center of the room, sleeves rolled up, the definition in your forearms catching the dim light as you gripped a paddle. Your posture was calm, exuding an effortless dominance that seemed to fill the space. Every movement you made was deliberate, a symphony of control that left no doubt as to who was in charge.

Bent over a padded bench was one of her coworkers—a junior team member, a woman Jieun recognized immediately. The coworker’s wrists were tied securely to the frame, her back arched, her body trembling. Her cries filled the room, raw and needy, echoing with every measured strike of the paddle. The resounding smack reverberated through the air, followed by a gasp that sent a jolt through Jieun’s chest.

“Please,” the coworker begged, her voice trembling with desperation. “More—please, Master.”

The word hit Jieun like a physical blow, her body tensing as an unfamiliar heat flooded her chest. She knew she should leave. This was private, intimate—a moment she had no right to witness. Her logical mind screamed at her to turn away, to back out of the room and forget she ever saw this.

But she didn’t.

Her feet stayed rooted to the spot, her gaze fixed on the scene unfolding before her. She watched, her breaths shallow, as you paused, your eyes narrowing slightly as though gauging every flicker of emotion, every tremor in the body before you. The paddle struck again, and the coworker cried out, her voice laced with pain and pleasure. It was impossible to ignore the authority you commanded, the calculated precision in every motion.

Jieun hated how her body betrayed her. Her breath caught involuntarily, her cheeks flushed with heat she couldn’t suppress. Her chest rose and fell in shallow, uneven breaths, the ache low in her abdomen building with every soft cry, every gasp that left your coworker’s lips. She clenched her fists at her sides, her nails biting into her palms.

Why couldn’t she look away?

Her throat tightened as she stood there, watching the scene burning itself into her mind. The sound of the paddle striking flesh, the way your expression remained calm and deliberate as if nothing could rattle you, the way you exuded complete control—it all gnawed at her in ways she couldn’t name. The coworker’s cries of “Master” rang in her ears, and with each plea, a sharp, biting feeling twisted in her chest.

Jealousy.

The realization hit her hard, a visceral, raw sensation she didn’t want to acknowledge. Her fingers twitched as she clenched her fists tighter, her entire body stiffening as she fought to push down the wave of emotions. She couldn’t be jealous. She shouldn’t be jealous. Yet the feeling remained, simmering just beneath her skin.

Her gaze darted back to you. The way you leaned down slightly, whispering something inaudible to the coworker that made her body shudder with anticipation. The way you stepped back, your posture unshaken, as though every second was choreographed to perfection. It was maddening.

Why was she still here?

Her pulse quickened as her eyes flicked toward the coworker again, her body trembling, her cries growing louder as she strained against the bonds. Jieun’s hands shook faintly at her sides. She didn’t know why she stayed—why her feet refused to move, why she couldn’t tear her gaze away from you. But every second she lingered, the emotions grew stronger, more unbearable.

The coworker gasped again, her voice soft and breathless. “Thank you, Master,” she whispered, her tone dripping with surrender.

That was enough.

Forcing herself to take a step back, Jieun turned and slipped out of the room, her movements hurried and unsteady. Her heart pounded as she moved down the hall, her heels clicking softly against the floor. The sound felt deafening in the heavy silence. She didn’t stop until she reached the front door, her hand gripping the handle tightly as she drew in a shaky breath.

But even as she stepped outside, the scene played on a loop in her mind. The flickering candlelight, the raw cries, the way you had commanded every moment with such authority—it haunted her. Her hands trembled as she gripped the steering wheel on her drive home, her breaths uneven.

That night, she couldn’t sleep.

The ache in her chest remained, gnawing at her resolve. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw you. Saw the way you had dominated the room, the way the coworker had surrendered so completely, calling you “Master” as though it was the only name that mattered. She hated the way it lingered, the way her body burned with unrelenting need.

Her fingers curled into the sheets as she lay in bed, the tension unbearable. She tried to mimic what she had seen, pressing her hand between her thighs, but the movements felt empty. Her breath hitched as frustration built, and she flung the covers off with a growl, glaring at the ceiling as the memory of your calm, deliberate control consumed her.

No matter how much she tried, she couldn’t shake the thought that kept echoing in her mind.

That should have been me.

Her fingers twitched at her side as she lay in bed, the ache in her body impossible to ignore. She tried to imagine herself in that room, her wrists bound, her voice trembling as she begged for more. The thought sent a shiver down her spine, and she hated how much it aroused her.

She reached for her bedside drawer, pulling out the same sleek toy she had discarded nights ago. This time, she didn’t bother with slow circles or precision. She pressed it against herself with a desperate urgency, trying to recapture the intensity she had felt while watching you.

But it wasn’t enough.

Her frustration mounted as she adjusted the angle, increased the speed, but no matter what she did, the sensation felt empty. She threw the toy aside with a muffled curse, her breaths ragged as she pressed a hand to her forehead.

It wasn’t just the touch she craved—it was you. The control, the way you had commanded every second of that scene. No toy, no amount of imagination could replace that.

The jealousy lingered, sharp and bitter, even as exhaustion finally overtook her. She fell into a restless sleep, her dreams filled with flickering candlelight, muffled cries, and the sound of your calm, deliberate voice.

-----

When you didn’t show up again the next day, Jieun’s frustration reached a breaking point. The unanswered questions gnawed at her, the simmering jealousy flared hotter, and the aching memories of your touch refused to leave her alone. Her sharp temper lashed out at anyone who dared cross her path, her clipped words leaving stunned silence in their wake. By midday, she couldn’t concentrate, her carefully maintained composure unraveling piece by piece.

Enough was enough.

Her decision was swift, driven by desperation she refused to fully acknowledge. She grabbed her coat, her movements sharp and decisive, and left the office without a word. The city blurred around her as she made her way to your place, the familiar unease in her chest tightening with every step. By the time she reached your door, her mind was a whirl of justifications she didn’t fully believe.

Storming inside, she went straight for the room she had seen before, the memory of its dim glow and charged air etched into her thoughts. But this time, the space was silent, empty of the intimate scene she had stumbled upon. The candles were gone, the tools hung neatly in their places, and the padded bench sat undisturbed at the room’s center, a ghost of the moment that haunted her.

Her breath came uneven as she stopped in the middle of the room. A strange mix of relief and disappointment churned within her. She clenched her fists, nails biting into her palms as she scanned the quiet space. What was she even looking for? Why had she come?

“You came back,” your voice broke the silence, calm and deliberate, cutting through her thoughts like a blade.

She froze. The air seemed to shift, growing heavier as her heart leapt into her throat. Slowly, she turned, her breaths shallow as her gaze locked onto you.

You stood in the doorway, sleeves rolled up, leaning casually against the frame. There was an unmistakable ease in your posture, a quiet authority that commanded the room as naturally as the flickering candles once had. Your expression was unreadable, but a flicker of amusement danced in your eyes, sharp and knowing.

Her cheeks flushed with heat, a mix of anger and humiliation rising to meet the calm challenge in your gaze. “I—” she started, but the words faltered.

“Don’t bother lying,” you interrupted smoothly, your tone firm but laced with faint amusement. “I know you were here yesterday. I have cameras.”

Her eyes widened briefly, the flash of shock betraying her before she masked it with a glare. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she snapped, her arms crossing defensively.

You stepped into the room, closing the door behind you with deliberate finality. Each step brought you closer, the space between you shrinking as your steady gaze pinned her in place. “You’ve been thinking about the office,” you said, your voice low, deliberate, each word a calculated stroke. “About how I made you feel. And now you’ve seen more. You’ve seen what I’m capable of.”

Her breath hitched at the accusation, her jaw tightening as she fought to maintain control. “You’re so full of yourself,” she spat, but the slight tremor in her voice betrayed her.

“Am I?” you replied, arching a brow, a faint smirk tugging at the corner of your lips. You stopped just short of her, your presence filling the space between you. “Then tell me why you’re here, Jieun. If it’s not because of me, why didn’t you just stay away?”

Her mouth opened as if to fire back, but no words came. The heat in her cheeks deepened as she looked away briefly, only to find your gaze following hers. Memories of your voice, your touch, the way you had undone her so completely, crashed over her. Her breathing quickened, the tension in the room coiling tighter around her.

“You have two choices,” you said calmly, each word deliberate. “You can leave, and we’ll pretend this never happened.”

The pause stretched between you, the weight of your ultimatum sinking in. “Or…” you added, your voice dipping, charged with quiet authority, “you’ll strip. Kneel. And let me finish what I started.”

The room felt impossibly still, every second drawn out. IU’s breath hitched, her hands clenching at her sides as she wrestled with herself. Her pride screamed at her to walk away, to turn and reclaim the control she had prided herself on. But her body betrayed her, the ache of need overwhelming the thin veneer of resistance.

Her trembling hands moved to the buttons of her blouse, her motions slow and hesitant at first. Each button she slipped free seemed louder in the silence, the sound echoing in the charged air. Her gaze remained fixed on yours, sharp and fiery, her defiance flickering even as her resolve crumbled.

The blouse slipped from her shoulders, pooling at her feet as she stood exposed, her chest rising and falling with shallow, uneven breaths.

“Good,” you murmured, the satisfaction in your voice unmistakable. “Now, kneel.”

For a moment, her pride flared again, holding her in place. But the pull of your authority was undeniable. Slowly, she sank to her knees, her hands resting uncertainly on her thighs. Her head tilted upward slightly, her gaze locked onto yours with a mix of defiance and surrender.

You stepped closer, your presence towering over her as you looked down. The faintest hint of a smile curved your lips, and she shivered under the weight of it, knowing that this was her final undoing.

“Stand up,” you commanded, your voice steady and firm.

For a moment, she didn’t move, her lips pressing into a tight line as though she was deciding whether to resist outright. Her fingers flexed, and her jaw tightened, but then, with deliberate slowness, she rose to her feet. Every movement was a calculated effort to hold onto her composure, but her hesitation was unmistakable—the slight falter in her breath, the flicker of uncertainty in her eyes as she stood before you.

Her skin was warm, the faintest sheen of perspiration catching the dim light, and despite the heat in the room, goosebumps spread along her arms. Her breaths came shallow and uneven, though her sharp gaze tried to mask the undercurrent of vulnerability.

You gestured toward the wooden sign near the door. “Read it,” you instructed, your voice calm but imbued with a quiet authority that left no room for refusal.

Her eyes lingered on the sign, her posture stiffening as though weighing whether to comply. Finally, she spoke, her tone low but laced with a faint edge of defiance. “Red means stop.”

“Good,” you said, taking a deliberate step closer, the tension between you thickening. “That’s all you need to say. If you do, everything stops. No questions, no hesitation.”

Her chest rose and fell in shallow breaths, and her lips pressed together in a thin line. Her gaze remained locked on yours, but the flicker of resistance was tempered by the faint quiver in her shoulders, a telltale sign of her inner turmoil.

“Say it again,” you pressed, your tone quiet but insistent.

“Understood,” she bit out curtly, her voice sharp.

You tilted your head, studying her for a moment before your lips curved into a faint smirk. “Not like that,” you murmured, stepping closer until the heat of your body brushed against hers, forcing her to tilt her head slightly to meet your eyes. “From now on, you’ll call me ‘Master.’ Do you understand?”

Her lips parted as though to argue, and her eyes flashed with a defiance that burned bright, but no words came. Instead, she exhaled shakily, her voice quieter now, tinged with reluctance. “Understood… Master.”

A satisfied hum escaped your lips. “Good girl,” you said, the approval in your tone soft but unmistakable. “Let’s see how long you can keep that up.”

You gestured toward the restraint frame mounted on the wall. She hesitated for a beat too long, her eyes darting to the frame and then back to you.

“Something wrong?” you asked, your tone calm but edged with a faint challenge.

“No,” she muttered under her breath, her pride flickering again before she added, quieter, “No, Master.”

Your smirk deepened. “Better.”

You guided her to the frame, her movements stiff with resistance even as she complied. Raising her arms, you secured her wrists into the padded cuffs at the top, her arms stretched taut above her head. She shifted slightly, testing the restraints, but her motions only highlighted the vulnerability of her exposed position. You stepped down to secure her ankles to a spreader bar, forcing her legs wide apart. The position left her completely open, her back pressed against the cool wall as her breathing quickened.

“You look tense,” you remarked, running your hand lightly down the length of her arm. “Feeling nervous?”

“No,” she replied quickly, too quickly, her voice sharper than intended.

You paused, raising a brow. “No… what?”

She clenched her jaw for a moment before muttering, “No, Master.”

“Good,” you murmured, stepping back to admire her. “Let’s see if you’re as brave as you think.”

From the rack, you selected a suede flogger, letting the soft tails trail over your palm as you turned back to her. Her body tensed as you approached, her eyes flicking between the tool and your calm expression.

“Relax,” you said evenly, brushing the tails lightly over her shoulders and down her arms. “This is just the beginning.”

The first strike was a gentle flick across her stomach, more of a tease than anything else. She inhaled sharply, her body flinching at the contact, but her gaze remained locked on yours, defiant. The next strike landed with more force across her ribs, the soft tails snapping against her skin and leaving faint red streaks in their wake. A soft gasp escaped her lips, unbidden.

You alternated strokes, trailing the flogger over her thighs, her hips, and up to her shoulders again. Each strike grew in intensity, the rhythm deliberate and unrelenting. Her breathing quickened with every hit, her body reacting involuntarily despite her efforts to remain composed.

“Still holding on?” you asked, your tone edged with amusement. The next strike landed across the curve of her breast, drawing a sharp cry that she bit down immediately, her lips pressing together as though to suppress the sound.

You leaned in slightly, brushing the tails of the flogger against her inner thighs before snapping them lightly over the sensitive skin. She jolted, her thighs trembling as she let out a shaky breath.

“Still defiant,” you murmured, striking her hips next with more precision. “But your body’s already telling a different story.”

She didn’t respond, her jaw tightening as she gripped the cuffs above her head. But the faint sheen of sweat on her skin and the way her thighs quivered betrayed her.

When you finally set the flogger aside, her skin was flushed, streaked with faint red marks that stood in stark contrast against her pale complexion. Her chest heaved as she tried to steady her breathing, her body trembling slightly as the aftershocks lingered.

“You’re doing well,” you remarked, your voice calm but laced with challenge as you reached for the riding crop. The sleek leather gleamed faintly in the dim light as you tapped it lightly against your palm.

Her eyes flicked to the crop, her lips parting slightly as her breathing grew shallower.

“I can handle it,” she said quickly, the edge in her tone betraying her uncertainty.

“Yes, Master,” you corrected smoothly, trailing the crop lazily across her stomach.

She hesitated, her lips tightening before she repeated, “Yes, Master.”

“Good,” you said softly, the faintest smile tugging at your lips as you delivered the first strike. It landed sharply across her chest, just above her breast, drawing a loud gasp as her body jolted. You followed it with another, the sharp sound of leather meeting skin echoing in the room.

The rhythm was calculated, each strike building in intensity as you moved from her torso to her thighs, then back again. When you snapped the crop directly against her nipple, she let out a broken whimper, her back arching involuntarily. Her cries grew louder as you focused on her sensitive peaks, each strike deliberate, calculated to push her further.

“You’re a mess,” you said softly, trailing the crop down to the slickness glistening between her legs. Her hips strained against the restraints, her body trembling with need and frustration as the tip of the crop grazed her folds before delivering a sharp, precise smack.

Her cry was raw, her voice cracking as her body jolted. “Master,” she whimpered, her voice trembling with need, defiance, and surrender all at once.

You paused, watching her chest rise and fall, her breaths measured but strained, her body taut as if holding back the inevitable. Her lips pressed tightly together, and her fingers flexed faintly within the restraints, the only sign of the battle raging inside her. Even now, she clung to the veneer of control, refusing to let you see the cracks beneath her composed exterior.

You approached with a pair of metal clamps, the soft clink of the chain between them drawing her eyes. Her body stiffened, her breaths quickening ever so slightly as she tracked your movements.

“Breathe,” you murmured, your voice calm but edged with authority, a reminder more than an instruction.

Her lips parted, and she drew in a shaky breath, her hesitation clear. You attached the first clamp to her nipple with deliberate slowness, the sharp pinch drawing a high-pitched gasp that she couldn’t suppress. Her back arched reflexively, her body trembling against the restraints. The second clamp followed, the chain swaying lightly between them as she exhaled in shallow bursts.

“You’ll feel this with every move you make,” you murmured, tugging the chain gently to emphasize your point. Her body jolted at the sensation, another faint whimper escaping her lips despite her best efforts to stay silent.

Returning to the riding crop, you let its tip trail along the inside of her thigh, your movements unhurried, almost teasing. Her muscles quivered under the light contact, her breath catching as the crop hovered near her folds. Then, without warning, you delivered a sharp, precise strike.

The leather connected with her slick skin, the sound loud and sharp in the still room. She jolted, a choked sob breaking free as her body tensed violently. Her slickness made the crop gleam faintly in the dim light, a visceral reminder of how her body was betraying her.

Another strike landed, followed by another, each one deliberate and relentless. Her cries grew louder, raw and broken as she writhed against the restraints. You dragged the crop lightly over her folds, the touch featherlight before snapping it against her again.

“Please, Master,” she sobbed, her voice trembling, caught between desperation and defiance. “I—I can’t take it—”

“Yes, you can,” you replied evenly, delivering another sharp strike. Your tone was steady, unyielding, each word punctuated by the sting of the crop. “Admit it.”

Her head shook faintly, her lips trembling as she clung to the last shreds of resistance. “I—I cant’t—” she whispered, her voice breaking under the strain.

The next strike landed harder, the sting radiating through her as a broken cry tore from her lips. “Admit it,” you growled, your tone sharper now, the command cutting through her defenses.

The crop hovered just above her slick folds, the leather tip angled with surgical precision. Jieun’s breath hitched, her body trembling in the bindings as anticipation coiled inside her, every nerve on edge. Without warning, you brought the crop down in a sharp, deliberate strike.

The leather snapped against her folds with precision, the sting radiating through her most sensitive area. Her reaction was instant—a strangled cry tore from her lips, her hips jerking violently against the ropes. Her body tensed, every muscle coiling tightly as the pain and pleasure fused into something overwhelming. Her head fell forward, and for a moment, it seemed like she might endure.

But as you raised the crop again, angling it for a second, more deliberate strike, the tension in her broke.

“Master, you’re right!” she cried out, her voice raw and trembling. “You’re in control—I’m yours!”

You paused, tilting your head as you studied her, the faintest smile tugging at your lips. “Keep going,” you urged softly, delivering a lighter spank that still drew a gasp.

Her breaths came in ragged bursts as she continued, her voice quieter now, tinged with submission. “I’m yours. Completely. I… I surrender.”

You slowed the strikes, letting her words settle between you, her trembling form a picture of surrender. But there was still something in her tone—a flicker of hesitation, as though she were saying what she thought you wanted to hear rather than what she truly felt.

Setting the crop aside, you stepped forward, beginning to undo the restraints with deliberate slowness. Her arms dropped as her wrists came free, her chest heaving with each shaky breath. Her legs quivered as you released the spreader bar, leaving her momentarily unbound. She shifted slightly, testing her freedom, her gaze wary as though expecting judgment.

Without a word, you turned back to the rack, retrieving a length of soft crimson rope. Its vibrant color stood out against her flushed, glistening skin. Her eyes followed your movements, a flicker of apprehension crossing her face as you approached.

“Please—” she started, her voice soft but uneven.

“Shh,” you murmured, your hands already guiding her wrists behind her back. Her body tensed faintly, the smallest resistance lingering before dissolving as you looped the rope around her wrists. Your movements were precise, each knot deliberate, the soft fibers pulling snug against her skin without causing discomfort.

You worked methodically, weaving the rope around her arms and torso, framing her chest with intricate knots that pressed lightly against her skin. Each loop was calculated, the tension just enough to hold her securely without pain. The crimson bands highlighted every curve, every tremble, her breaths shallow as she adjusted to the restraint.

“You’re safe,” you reminded her, your voice steady and commanding.

The rope coiled around her torso, framing her body with deliberate precision. Intricate knots traced the curves of her shoulders and crossed her chest, cinching her breasts upward. Each tug of the rope pressed the soft flesh outward, accentuating her sensitivity. Her breathing quickened as you worked, her body responding to the careful tension of the bindings.

“Master…” she whispered, her tone soft but uncertain as she tested the bonds.

“Don’t move,” you instructed calmly.

Guiding her toward the suspension frame, you positioned her carefully beneath the ceiling anchor. The room was quiet save for her shallow breaths as you worked, securing the ropes to the anchor point. Her feet remained firmly on the ground at first, her body tense as she glanced upward, realizing what was coming.

You began to hoist her slowly, her toes lifting off the ground as the ropes bore her weight. Her back arched slightly as the bindings cradled her torso and thighs, supporting her in perfect balance. She hung suspended, her chest rising and falling rapidly as her exposed body swayed faintly in the air.

Kneeling, you reached for her left leg, guiding it outward and securing it with more rope to the left side of the frame. The crimson rope pulled taut, holding her leg firmly in place. Then, moving to her right, you repeated the process, spreading her wide as you tied her right leg to the opposite side of the frame.

Each knot was deliberate, leaving no room for resistance. Her thighs were stretched open, her body now completely exposed in midair, vulnerable and helpless. The tension in the ropes framed her like an intricate work of art, every line emphasizing her submission.

You stepped back, surveying your work as she hung suspended, her body trembling faintly against the bindings. Her breathing was shallow, her cheeks flushed, her lips parted as she adjusted to the complete loss of control. The crimson ropes, contrasted against her bare skin, highlighted every curve, every quiver.

“Perfect,” you murmured, your voice low and steady. You stepped closer, letting your fingers trail lightly along the curve of her thigh, sending a shiver through her. “You look stunning like this.”

Your gaze shifted hardening as you stepped closer, the intensity of your presence making her shrink slightly in her bonds. Her lips trembled, and her head dropped lower, but you weren’t going to let her retreat. Not now.

“How dare you,” you said, your voice low and sharp, laced with a restrained anger that sent a shiver through her body. “How dare you try to lie to me.”

Her head lifted slightly at your words, her wide eyes meeting yours for a fleeting second before dropping again, guilt flickering across her flushed face.

“You think I don’t know your body?” you pressed, stepping even closer, your hand grazing the ropes framing her thigh. The softness of your touch belied the steel in your tone. “Every twitch, every tremble—your body tells me everything, Jieun. And it’s telling me the truth, even when your mouth won’t.”

Her chest rose and fell in shallow, uneven breaths, the weights on her nipple clamps swaying slightly with each movement. Her cheeks flushed a deeper shade, and she bit her lip, struggling to maintain her composure.

“Master, I—” she started, her voice faltering.

“Stop,” you interrupted, your tone cutting. Your hand reached up, fingers brushing her cheek, forcing her to meet your gaze. “Don’t insult me with empty words just because you think they’re what I want to hear. I don’t need your lies.”

Her lips parted as if to respond, but she faltered, her body betraying her. The tension in her thighs, the slight quiver in her legs as she hung spread and bound, the slickness glistening between her folds—every detail betrayed her surrender.

“You’re mine,” you said firmly, your thumb brushing her cheek before trailing down her neck, over the ropes framing her chest. Your fingers tugged gently on the chain connecting the clamps, drawing a sharp gasp from her lips as the weights shifted. “Every inch of you belongs to me. Your body, your pleasure, your submission. All mine.”

She swallowed hard, her eyes glassy as the weight of your words settled over her. “Yes, Master,” she whispered, her voice trembling.

You didn’t let her off so easily. “Say it like you mean it,” you growled, stepping back slightly to retrieve the clitoral suction toy. Its faint hum filled the room, the sound alone making her thighs twitch against the ropes.

Her lips parted, her breaths coming in ragged gasps as you hovered the toy just above her aching clit. Her body strained instinctively toward the device, seeking relief, but you pulled back, the motion deliberate and taunting.

“Say it,” you commanded, your tone unrelenting.

“I… I’m yours,” she whimpered, her voice barely audible.

You narrowed your eyes, circling the toy teasingly close to her folds but never making contact. “Louder.”

“I’m yours, Master!” she cried, her voice cracking with desperation.

Satisfied for the moment, you leaned forward, pressing the toy lightly against her clit. Her reaction was immediate—her body jolted violently against the ropes, her hips straining as the suction sent waves of stimulation coursing through her. Her cries filled the room, raw and unrestrained.

But you weren’t done.

Your hand reached for the chain again, tugging firmly as the clamps bit deeper into her sensitive flesh. The added pressure sent her spiraling, her cries blending into soft, broken sobs. “You’ll take this for me,” you said softly, your voice calm but unyielding. “Because I said so.”

Her body trembled uncontrollably, the tension in the ropes accentuating every shiver, every desperate movement as she tried to hold on. The suction toy continued its relentless work, drawing her closer to the edge, her moans growing louder with every passing second.

“Master, please,” she sobbed, her voice breaking under the strain. “Please, I can’t—”

“You can,” you interrupted, increasing the intensity of the toy. “And you will.”

Her body convulsed against the bindings, her cries turning into incoherent pleas as you pushed her further, commanding every inch of her. This was no surrender forced by words—this was her body, her soul, bending completely to your will.

You pressed the toy harder against her clit, the suction drawing another strangled cry from her lips. Her body jolted violently in the ropes, the sensation relentless and devastating. The rhythmic tugging was precise, sending sharp waves of pleasure through her trembling frame.

Her moans grew louder, desperate and unrestrained, as you slid two fingers inside her. Her slick walls clenched immediately, gripping you tightly as though her body was trying to draw you deeper. The combination of the suction and your curling fingers was merciless, her back arching as she spiraled toward the edge once again.

“Master, please!” she sobbed, her voice trembling and raw. “I’m so close—please let me—”

Without hesitation, you withdrew your fingers and the suction toy at the same time, leaving her dangling in frustrated desperation. Her cry was loud, ragged, and broken, her head falling forward as her body trembled in the bindings.

“Not yet,” you said firmly, stepping closer. The calm authority in your voice was unshakable, cutting through the chaotic haze of her emotions. Leaning in, you brushed your lips close to her ear. “You don’t get to cum until I say. Not until you stop lying—to me, and to yourself.”

Her chest heaved, every breath labored, the weights on the clamps swaying with her trembling body. “Master… I can’t… I can’t take it anymore…” she whimpered, her voice barely audible, shaking with exhaustion and need.

“You can,” you countered, pressing the suction toy back against her clit. The rhythmic pulsing resumed instantly, and her body jolted as though shocked. Her cries were louder now, her head tossing weakly as her hips strained against the bindings, desperately seeking relief she knew you wouldn’t allow.

Sliding your fingers back inside her, you thrust slowly, curling deliberately to press against her most sensitive spot. Her walls fluttered, her arousal growing wetter with every motion. Each time her body tightened, every time she edged closer to the climax she craved, you stopped again.

Tears streaked her flushed cheeks, her sobs echoing through the room as she begged. “Master, please… I’ll do anything—please let me cum!”

You reached up, tugging sharply on the chain between her clamps. The sharp jolt drew a choked scream from her lips, her body jerking as the combination of pain and pleasure pushed her closer to breaking. Her thighs trembled violently, her slickness glistening under the low light.

“Admit it,” you said softly, your tone a low growl, increasing the intensity of the suction toy. “Stop pretending. Tell me who you really are.”

Her head shook weakly, a fresh sob escaping her lips as she stammered. “I… I can’t—”

You pulled your fingers away again, leaving the suction toy on its lowest setting. The gentle pulses teased her, enough to keep her simmering without granting release. Her body shuddered, her head hanging forward as her sobs grew louder.

“Admit it,” you growled, sharper now, your hand gripping her chin and tilting her head up to meet your gaze. “Stop lying, or this will never end.”

Her moans turned to frantic cries, her body writhing in the ropes as the suction toy teased her swollen clit, the clamps pulling with every movement. “Master, please—” she gasped, her voice breaking under the weight of her desperation. “You’re right—Master, you’re right!”

You didn’t relent, your fingers plunging back inside her with precision, curling against the spot that made her body seize. The suction toy pressed harder against her clit, the rhythmic pulsing relentless and exact. “Tell me everything,” you commanded, your voice firm and unwavering. “No lies this time.”

Her body jerked violently, the ropes tightening against her trembling limbs as she convulsed. Her sobs turned into raw, unrestrained cries, her head tilting back as her voice cracked. “I’m yours, Master!” she screamed, the words rushing out in a desperate, frantic confession. “You have all the control—I need you—I can’t… I can’t fight it anymore!”

Her walls clenched hard around your fingers, the first wave of her climax threatening to break, but you stilled your movements, holding her right on the edge. The suction toy pulsed mercilessly against her clit, her body trembling and writhing as she hung suspended in the intricate web of ropes.

“Do you want to cum?” you asked, your tone calm and deliberate, a stark contrast to her frenzied cries.

“Please, Master!” she sobbed, her voice breaking under the weight of her need. “Please—please let me!”

You paused, letting the silence hang between you, your fingers pressing just enough to keep her teetering. “Admit it,” you said, your voice low and steady. “Tell me who you belong to.”

“I’m yours!” she screamed, her voice hoarse and desperate. “Only yours, Master! I need you—I can’t take it anymore!”

“Good girl,” you murmured, a faint smirk tugging at your lips. You leaned closer, your breath warm against her ear. “Now… cum for me.”

The permission was all she needed. Her body tensed for a heartbeat, every muscle seizing as if holding its breath, before releasing in an explosive wave of pleasure. Her scream ripped through the air, raw and primal, as her climax tore through her. Her back arched against the restraints, the ropes digging into her flushed skin as she convulsed uncontrollably. Her walls tighten around your fingers with a force that leaves no doubt about the intensity of her release, each pulse sending a ripple of wet heat against your hand.

The slickness of her arousal coated your fingers, a testament to how deeply she had succumbed. Her thighs quaked violently, the trembling so pronounced that the bindings holding her legs apart strained slightly. Her toes curled, her entire body caught in the throes of the orgasm that consumed her completely.

The suction toy added to the onslaught, the pulsing rhythm over her clit extending her release far beyond its natural limit. She jerked violently in the ropes, her cries turning into broken, breathless whimpers as the pleasure became almost too much to bear. Her head fell forward, her hair clinging to her sweat-slicked face, her lips parted as she gasped for air.

Wave after wave continued to ripple through her, her body quivering uncontrollably even as the climax began to subside. Her thighs twitched reflexively, her hips bucking weakly as if chasing sensations she could no longer endure. Each breath she took was shallow and uneven, her chest rising and falling rapidly, the effort of catching her breath evident in every ragged exhale.

You withdrew your fingers slowly, the slick heat coating them glistening under the low light. She whimpered softly at the loss, her head lolling forward, too spent to protest. As you turned off the suction toy, the silence felt almost deafening, punctuated only by the faint sounds of her labored breathing.

But even now, her body betrayed her. As your fingers grazed her inner thigh, slick with the aftermath of her climax, a faint moan escaped her lips—soft, involuntary, and entirely revealing. Her thighs quivered again, a subtle tremor that spoke to the lingering echoes of her release.

“You’re still hungry for more, aren’t you?” you said softly, observing her closely. Her body jolted faintly at your words, and though her lips trembled as if to protest, no sound came. Instead, her head nodded weakly, her voice cracking as she whispered, “Yes… Master.”

You smirked, brushing a finger lightly over her still-sensitive clit, drawing a sharp gasp from her. “Even after all that,” you murmured, leaning closer, “you’re not done.”

Her body shuddered under your touch, her surrender absolute. “Good,” withdrawing your fingers again. Her cry of frustration was raw, her hips jerking futilely as she sought her next release. Instead of indulging her, you stepped back toward the rack, your movements deliberate as you selected the next tool.

Your gaze landed on the perfect choice: a sleek, polished butt plug adorned with a heart-shaped jewel at its base. Its elegance stood in sharp contrast to the raw, primal energy radiating from IU as she trembled in the suspension. Picking it up, you turned back to her, holding the plug up so the jewel caught the light.

Her eyes widened slightly, her lips parting as her breath quickened. Even now, a faint flush spread across her chest and cheeks, and her body betrayed her further—a faint twitch, a pulsing tension that radiated from her most intimate places.

“Oh? Is that excitement I see?” you teased, your voice low and intimate as you knelt in front of her. The cool metal of the plug brushed lightly against her inner thigh, earning a sharp gasp and a shudder from her body.

Without a word, you spread her cheeks gently, exposing her fully to your touch. Her breaths came unevenly, her body tensing at the intimacy of the moment. Slowly, you pressed a finger against her tight ring, teasing the rim with deliberate circles before sliding inside.

She gasped sharply, her muscles clenching reflexively before gradually relaxing. “Breathe,” you murmured, your voice steady yet soothing. “Let your body take it.”

She whimpered as you worked her carefully, preparing her inch by inch until her body began to yield. Once you were satisfied, you withdrew your finger, wiping it clean before adding lube and pressing the tip of the plug against her entrance. She jolted at the cool touch of the metal, her breaths growing faster as you began to push it in.

The cool, polished head of the plug pressed against her hole, her body instinctively tightening in resistance. The tension was palpable, her ring clenching stubbornly as if defying the inevitable. You paused, letting her adjust, your hand steady and patient. Slowly, with deliberate pressure, you pressed again, coaxing her body to yield.

The resistance lingered, taut and unrelenting, until a soft, trembling moan escaped her lips. Gradually, her muscles gave way, her ring stretching wider, surrendering inch by inch. Her breaths grew shallow, each one hitching as the sensation built, the sharp edge of discomfort melting into something deeper, more consuming.

When the widest part of the plug finally slipped past the threshold, her body seemed to shudder in relief, the resistance fading as her ring closed around the narrow neck, swallowing the plug entirely. A low, quivering gasp broke from her as the snug fullness settled deep within her, the weight and pressure sending a visible tremor through her frame. The cool jewel at the base nestled perfectly against her, its presence both a reminder of her surrender and a promise of the sensations to come.

Stepping back slightly, you admired the sight before you. The polished jewel nestled between her cheeks glinted faintly in the dim light, a beautiful contrast to her flushed, glistening skin. “Beautiful,” you murmured, letting your fingers trail lightly over her hips and down her thighs.

“How does it feel?” you asked, your voice calm but laced with intent. The answer was evident in the tautness of her trembling body, the slick arousal dripping down her inner thighs betraying her overwhelming need.

“It’s…” she stammered, her breath hitching between syllables, her voice shaky and thin. “It’s so full…”

“Good,” you murmured, your hand gliding over her side, a deliberate contrast to the intensity she was feeling. Your other hand moved to the base of the plug, gripping it firmly. “Let it amplify everything.”

Without warning, you gave the plug a gentle tug, testing its resistance. Her gasp was sharp, her body jolting against the ropes. The snugness of the plug resisted at first, the tension building until it relented slightly, the motion sending a deep, jarring sensation through her core. The muscles of her entrance quivered around the intrusion, the combination of pressure and movement drawing a sharp moan from her lips.

“AGGH!” she cried out, the word leaving her as both a plea and a surrender, her voice trembling with the strain of holding herself together.

You chuckled, a low, deliberate sound, twisting the plug slightly. Her reaction was immediate—her hips bucked reflexively, and a louder, more guttural moan spilled from her lips. The sensation was maddening, the plug pressing firmly against her sensitive inner walls with every shift, each movement pushing her closer to unraveling.

With another slow, deliberate tug, you teased her further, letting the plug stretch and stimulate her before it settled back into place. Her thighs trembled uncontrollably, her body writhing in the bindings as she whimpered. The snug fullness combined with the constant stimulation made every sensation feel sharper, deeper.

Your gaze shifted to the rack, landing on the wand vibrator. Its sleek design promised power, the hum of the motor filling the room as you turned it on. Even the sound made her tense, her head snapping up weakly as her eyes widened in alarm.

“Please, Master, no,” she whimpered, her voice raw and hoarse, the strain of her begging breaking through. Her thighs twitched as though trying to close, but the ropes kept her wide open, her vulnerability laid bare.

“Shh,” you said, stepping closer, your tone calm but unyielding. The wand hovered just above her swollen clit, the anticipation making her body quake. “You haven’t used the safe word, Jieun,” you reminded her, tilting her chin up gently with your hand. “You could stop this anytime. But you won’t. Will you?”

Her head dropped forward, a quiet, broken whimper escaping her lips as she shook her head faintly.

Without further hesitation, you pressed the wand firmly against her clit. The immediate pulse of vibrations ripped a strangled cry from her throat, her body arching violently against the ropes. The wand’s relentless rhythm sent sharp, focused waves of pleasure coursing through her, magnified by the plug nestled deep inside her. Every tremor of her hips caused the plug to shift slightly, the dual sensations amplifying each other until her sobs turned into breathless, incoherent gasps.

Her thighs trembled against the restraints, her body jerking as though trying to escape the overstimulation, but the bindings kept her perfectly in place. “Master… please!” she wailed, her voice trembling as fresh tears streamed down her flushed cheeks. “Please stop—I can’t—I can’t do this anymore!”

“Yes, you can,” you murmured softly, your tone steady as you pressed the wand harder. “You’ll take it for me. I know your body better than you do.”

Her stomach clenched visibly, her hips twitching violently as the wand assaulted her most sensitive spot. The vibrations, relentless and unyielding, dragged her closer to the edge. “Master!” she cried out, her voice cracking with desperation. “It’s yours—everything is yours! My body… my tits, my pussy, my ass—it’s all yours! Please, Master—I love being yours, but please, no more!”

Her words came in frantic sobs, each confession spilling from her lips in raw, unfiltered emotion. The plug, snug and unrelenting, seemed to vibrate in sync with the wand, the pressure inside her building to an unbearable crescendo. Her chest heaved as her hips jerked reflexively, her sobs dissolving into a broken chant of “Please, Master—please no more—I can’t cum again!”

Leaning in, you brushed her sweat-damp hair from her face, your voice soft but commanding. “One more,” you murmured against her ear, the words firm and deliberate. “Give me one more, Jieun, and then I’ll stop.”

She shook her head weakly, her sobs growing louder, but her body betrayed her. The relentless vibrations, the overwhelming fullness of the plug, and your fingers curling back inside her pushed her to the brink. Her cries turned desperate as the climax overtook her, the final release breaking her completely.

Her scream filled the room, raw and unrestrained, as her body convulsed violently in the suspension. Her thighs quivered uncontrollably, her walls clenching around the plug as wave after wave of overstimulation wracked her frame. Even as the climax faded, the wand continued to torment her, every shuddering aftershock heightened by the unrelenting vibrations.

Her head fell back, her cries tapering into soft, broken whimpers as her body sagged completely in the bindings. The silence that followed was heavy, punctuated only by the sound of her uneven breaths and the faint hum of the wand as you finally turned it off. You stepped back, watching as her trembling form hung limp in the ropes, every inch of her glistening with sweat and arousal.

The scene before you was one of complete surrender. Her flushed, tear-streaked face, her trembling thighs, and the faint quiver of her chest told you everything you needed to know. She was yours—utterly and completely.

You stepped closer, the slickness of her release coating her inner thighs as you gently removed the plug. A soft, almost inaudible whimper escaped her lips as her body shuddered one final time, her exhausted form limp in the bindings. She hung there, surrendered, her every breath a testament to the intensity she had endured.

“You did so well,” you murmured softly, brushing your fingers along her trembling thigh. “Every part of you is mine—and you love it.”

Carefully, you began undoing the ropes, each knot falling away as her exhausted body slumped further into your arms. When the bindings were completely removed, she collapsed against you, her legs too weak to support her.

Her head rested weakly on your chest, her breaths shallow and uneven. Her voice was too broken to speak, but the way she clung to you said everything—she was yours, completely and utterly.

By the time the final waves subsided, Jieun was utterly spent, her body sagging completely in the suspension ropes. Her head hung forward, her damp hair clinging to her flushed cheeks as shallow, uneven breaths escaped her parted lips. The delicate impressions of the ropes were etched into her skin, a testament to her surrender. Each faint line emphasized her vulnerability, the undeniable proof of how far she had let herself go for you.

Reaching over, you turned off the wand, the sudden silence almost deafening after the relentless hum. You set it aside, your gaze drifting to the jeweled plug nestled snugly within her. As you stepped closer, her head lifted weakly, her glassy eyes flickering with awareness as she saw your hand reaching toward her.

“No… please, Master,” she whimpered, her voice hoarse and trembling with exhaustion. “Don’t take it out. I… I want to keep it.”

A soft chuckle escaped your lips, the sound low and indulgent as you trailed your fingers along her hip in reassurance. “It’s covered in too much of you,” you murmured gently, your tone soothing. “We’ll clean you up, and I’ll give you something fresh.”

She whined softly, a faint, needy sound as her hips twitched in protest. But she didn’t resist as you began to ease the plug out, the snug fit providing resistance that heightened her sensitivity. A low gasp escaped her lips as it slid free, the polished jewel glistening with the evidence of her arousal. The emptiness left her trembling, her body shifting slightly as she tried to adjust.

“You did so well,” you said, your voice warm with approval as you brushed a hand over her thigh. “Let me take care of you now, my good girl.”

“Yes, Master,” she whispered faintly, the words spilling out with automatic sincerity, her voice barely above a breath.

You began undoing the intricate knots with deliberate care, ensuring that each release was smooth and unhurried. As the ropes fell away, her body slumped further, her limbs trembling from the strain and exertion. When her wrists were freed, her arms dropped uselessly to her sides, her strength completely drained. You moved to unstrap her legs next, supporting her weight as her knees buckled the moment the bindings were removed.

Guiding her toward a nearby chair, you eased her down into the plush cushions. She melted into them, her body folding into the soft embrace as a quiet sigh escaped her lips. Her head fell back, her eyes fluttering closed, and for a moment, she seemed completely at peace.

You stepped away briefly, cleaning the used plug meticulously before retrieving a fresh one from a nearby drawer. The sleek, polished design matched the previous one, adorned with a delicate jewel at its base that shimmered faintly in the low light.

Returning to her, you knelt before the chair, the new plug resting in your hand. Her eyes drifted open, her gaze falling to the plug. Her thighs twitched instinctively, a soft, shaky breath escaping her as anticipation flickered across her expression.

“Ready?” you asked, your voice calm and steady.

“Yes, Master,” she murmured, her voice faint but unwavering, her trust in you palpable.

Parting her legs gently, you brushed your hand along her inner thigh, your touch slow and reassuring. As your finger pressed inside her, you prepared her carefully, her walls clenching briefly before relaxing under your guidance. Her soft whimper filled the air, a quiet sound of surrender as you withdrew your finger and positioned the cool tip of the new plug against her entrance.

The jewel slid inside slowly, her body resisting momentarily before yielding, the snug fullness making her hips shift instinctively. A soft, trembling moan escaped her lips as the plug settled firmly into place, the weight of it amplifying her awareness of her submission.

“How does it feel?” you asked, your voice low and intimate as your hand brushed lightly over her thigh.

“Full, Master,” she whispered, her tone faint but sure, a lingering shiver running through her body.

“Good,” you replied, your hand trailing up to cup her cheek briefly, your touch warm and grounding. “Let it remind you who you belong to.”

After securing the new plug in place, you carefully guide her into your arms as she collapses against your chest. “You’ve done so well, Jieun,” you murmured softly, your voice warm and soothing. “It’s time to rest now.”

She nodded faintly, her cheek pressing against your shoulder, her breaths shallow and uneven as her body tried to recover from the intensity of what she had endured. You lifted her effortlessly, carrying her toward a nearby couch. The soft cushions enveloped her as you lowered her gently onto them, her body curling instinctively as she sought the comfort of your presence.

Stepping away briefly, you returned with a glass of cool water and a small lozenge. Setting them on the table beside her, you knelt down with a warm, damp cloth from a basin nearby. Brushing the cloth tenderly over her flushed skin, you wiped away the remnants of sweat and arousal. Every motion was deliberate, your touch careful and steady. She flinched faintly at the initial contact, her hypersensitivity evident, but as your gentle ministrations continued, her body began to relax.

“Breathe,” you reminded her, your tone calm. “You’re safe.”

She exhaled shakily, her chest rising and falling in a more even rhythm. The cloth moved over her thighs, her arms, and finally her face, wiping away the streaks of tears that clung to her cheeks. Her body softened further under your care, surrendering fully to the nurturing calm you offered.

When you were finished, you set the cloth aside and wrapped a soft, plush blanket around her shoulders, cocooning her in warmth. Lifting the glass of water, you held it to her lips as she weakly reached for it. “Drink,” you instructed gently. “You need to rehydrate.”

Her trembling hands steadied as you helped guide the glass. The cool liquid slid down her throat, soothing the rawness left behind from her earlier cries. She let out a faint sigh of relief after a few sips, her lips parting to murmur, “Thank you, Master.”

You smiled softly, brushing her damp hair away from her face. “You’ve done more than enough for me,” you said quietly. “Now, let me take care of you.”

Picking up the lozenge, you pressed it into her palm. “This will help your throat,” you explained, your thumb brushing lightly over her fingers. She nodded, placing it in her mouth and leaning back against the cushions with a faint, contented sigh.

Her gaze met yours briefly, the vulnerability in her expression tempered by a quiet trust. You leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead, your hand stroking her hair in slow, soothing motions. Her eyes fluttered closed, her breathing deepening as exhaustion began to claim her.

As she drifted off, you stayed at her side, your hand resting lightly over hers. The room, once filled with raw intensity, now carried a profound calm—a sanctuary for her, where she could surrender completely, knowing she was safe and cherished.

-----

The following morning, Jieun strode into the office with her usual commanding presence. The sharp staccato of her heels against the polished floors echoed her precision and confidence, her posture straight, her gaze cold and assessing. Every detail of her appearance was immaculate—the crisp lines of her tailored suit, the glint of her polished watch. In meetings, her voice sliced through the air with crisp directives and sharp analysis, brooking no argument. No one dared to question her authority.

But beneath the surface, something was different.

Her legs, still unsteady from the previous night’s intensity, wavered faintly with each step. The residual ache in her thighs and core lingered, a reminder of her surrender. She moved with the same poise and precision, but her steps carried an almost imperceptible hesitance. Every shift of her body demanded a conscious effort to conceal the jelly-like weakness threatening to disrupt her perfect composure.

She refused to let it show.

Her head was high, her strides measured, her mask of control firmly in place. To anyone else, she was as composed and formidable as ever. Only you would have noticed the way her fingers flexed faintly at her sides or the brief pause as she adjusted her weight onto one leg at her desk, seeking reprieve from the strain.

When her gaze landed on you, though, there was no hiding the shift. It lingered a beat too long, her sharpness softening in a way imperceptible to anyone else but unmistakable to you. The sharp edge in her tone dulled slightly when she addressed you, her words still commanding but carrying a subtle warmth, almost deference. Every glance, every interaction betrayed an unspoken acknowledgment of something shared—a dynamic only the two of you understood.

For the rest of the office, Jieun was untouchable, an unyielding force of nature. But for you, the faintest flicker in her eyes and the carefully hidden tremor in her movements told the truth: beneath her flawless façade, she carried the quiet aftermath of surrender.

The day moved seamlessly until Jieun walked past the open door of the conference room. She paused mid-stride, her gaze flicking inside. At the table sat one of her female coworkers, her laugh light and easy as she gestured animatedly. It was the same woman she had seen that night in the private room, her voice etched into her memory alongside her cries and pleas.

The sight sent a jolt through her chest—sharp and visceral. A possessive heat flared within her, unbidden and irrational, twisting her thoughts into a tangle she couldn’t unravel. The coworker’s laughter carried softly into the hallway, her oblivious ease grating against the turmoil building within.

She forced herself to turn on her heel, her steps measured and deliberate, her head held high. But the tension in her shoulders betrayed her composure. The weight of that moment stayed with her, gnawing at her as she returned to her office. The door clicked shut behind her with uncharacteristic sharpness, the sound echoing through the quiet space.

Minutes later, a timid knock interrupted her thoughts. The intern stepped inside, carrying a stack of reports. Their hands shook slightly as they approached, the air thick with Jieun’s unspoken mood.

Her eyes scanned the reports quickly, catching a minor formatting error—something she would usually note quietly and set aside. Today, though, the simmering frustration boiling under her skin found its outlet.

“Did you even look at this before bringing it to me?” Her voice was icy, her words cutting with surgical precision.

The intern stammered, their cheeks flushing as they tried to form an excuse.

“This is unacceptable,” Jieun continued, her tone unwavering, her gaze sharp enough to draw blood. “If you can’t even deliver the basics correctly, why are you here?”

The intern stammered an apology, their voice trembling, but she dismissed them with a curt wave. The door closed behind them with a faint slam, doing nothing to alleviate the frustration twisting in her chest. Jieun leaned back in her chair, exhaling sharply, her eyes falling to the stack of papers as though they were the source of all her irritation.

But no matter how she tried to push it aside, the image of that coworker lingered, feeding a jealousy she didn’t want to acknowledge, let alone understand.

Jieun stared at her phone, her finger hovering over the screen for a moment before she typed the message:

Come to my office. Now.

Moments later, you arrived, pushing the door open without hesitation. Jieun was seated behind her desk, her posture perfect, her expression unreadable. But the tension in the room was thick, hanging between you like an unspoken challenge.

She gestured for you to close the door. As the latch clicked, she stood, her gaze locking onto yours with an intensity that made the air seem heavier. Slowly, deliberately, she stepped out from behind her desk. Without a word, she turned to face you and lifted her skirt.

The heart shaped jewel of the plug gleamed faintly in the warm light, snug and perfectly in place.

“Still in place, Master,” she said softly, her voice steady but laced with a faint vulnerability. Her gaze remained on yours, unwavering.

You stepped closer, your fingers grazing the curve of her hip as you studied her. “Good girl,” you murmured, your voice low and warm. “Does it remind you who you belong to?”

“Yes, Master,” she replied, her tone quiet but resolute. “Every time I move, I feel it. It’s… grounding.”

“Grounding,” you repeated, tilting her chin upward to meet your gaze fully. “Then why are you distracted today, Jieun?”

Her composure faltered slightly, her lashes lowering as a flicker of hesitation crossed her features. “It’s nothing, Master,” she said quickly, though the faint quiver in her voice gave her away.

“Tell me,” you commanded, your tone calm but unyielding.

Her lips parted, and the truth spilled out in a rush. “It’s that coworker. The one from that day. Seeing her… I know it’s ridiculous, but it bothers me.”

You studied her for a moment, your thumb brushing lightly along her jawline. “You’re jealous,” you stated, your voice firm.

Her hesitation was brief before she nodded, her cheeks flushing slightly. “Yes, Master. I know I shouldn’t be, but I can’t help it.”

You leaned closer, your breath brushing her ear as you spoke. “You have no reason to be. You’re mine, Jieun. Fully. And no one else will ever have what you do.”

Her shoulders relaxed, the tension visibly melting from her frame as your words sank in. “Yes, Master,” she whispered, her gaze steady and filled with quiet trust.

“Good,” you said, stepping back slightly. “Now lower your skirt and sit down. We’ll address this properly another time.”

Her fingers trembled faintly as she obeyed, smoothing her skirt before settling back into her chair. The fire in her gaze had returned, not in defiance but in renewed resolve.

-----

Later that day, Jieun sat in her office, her posture as precise and flawless as ever, a picture of control to anyone who might glance in. Yet beneath the composed exterior, tension simmered. Her gaze, fixed through the glass wall, betrayed the turmoil inside. The faint hum of the office—the murmur of voices, the rhythmic tapping of keyboards—blurred into the background. Her world had narrowed to you.

You stood among a small group of coworkers, the easy confidence in your demeanor commanding the space effortlessly. The faint smile on your lips as you responded to a comment drew their attention naturally, as it always did. Jieun’s eyes lingered on you, her focus unrelenting as she tracked your every movement.

And then, her gaze shifted to the woman standing closest to you. She laughed lightly at something you said, her voice lilting and cheerful. There was nothing overtly unusual about the sound, yet it grated against Jieun in a way she couldn’t explain. The tilt of the woman’s body, leaning toward you ever so slightly, struck Jieun as far too familiar.

Her fingers tightened subtly around the pen in her hand.

Another laugh followed, the woman’s body language relaxed and open as she turned toward you. Her hand, gesturing as she spoke, lingered briefly against your arm. The touch wasn’t blatant, yet the intimacy of the motion was unmistakable in Jieun’s eyes. Her breath hitched slightly, her chest tightening as jealousy surged despite her efforts to suppress it.

Her grip on the pen grew firmer, her knuckles whitening against the polished surface.

He told me not to be jealous, she thought bitterly, her jaw tightening as her eyes darted back to the scene. He said I had no reason to be. But reason had little bearing on the emotions that churned inside her. The logical part of her knew the interaction meant nothing. The woman’s laughter, the casual brush of her hand against your sleeve—it was all meaningless.

And yet, it wasn’t meaningless to Jieun.

Her gaze returned to you. The faint curve of your lips, the slight tilt of your head as you engaged with them, made her chest ache with something deeper than irritation. She clenched her jaw tighter, the control she prided herself on slipping further out of reach with every passing second.

The woman’s laugh rang out again, light and carefree, her body leaning just a fraction closer to you. It was casual. Innocuous. And infuriating.

The pen groaned faintly in her grasp, the sound lost in the din of her own thoughts.

When the woman’s fingers brushed your sleeve once more, lingering for just a moment too long, it shattered the last thread of Jieun’s composure. Her lips pressed into a thin line, her breathing shallow as her mind waged a losing battle against the heat rising in her chest.

Why am I like this? she thought, angered at herself as much as at the scene before her. Why can’t I just let it go?

With a sharp snap, the pen broke in her hand.

The sound, though soft, seemed deafening in the stillness of her office. She stared down at the two fractured pieces in her palm, her expression frozen, her chest rising and falling as she tried to steady herself. The sharp contrast of ink against her pale skin mirrored the turbulence roiling inside her.

Outside the glass, the group continued their conversation, your calm presence unchanged, the woman’s laughter carrying faintly into the room. They remained oblivious to the storm behind Jieun’s closed door, unaware of the fire they’d unknowingly stoked.

[mischieveousmayhem]

Ma, can you hear me?

Pairing: Jason Todd x Batmom! Reader

Genre: Angst

Warnings: Mentions of death

Synopsis: Jason Todd misses his mother more than anything.

a/n: decided to make very short stories as a series for when batmama dies.

THE MASTERLIST

—

Rebel was one word that used to describe Jason.

That was until you came into his life.

From the moment Bruce found Jason attempting stealing wheels off the batmobile to where he is now, he has truly improved and that's because of you.

You changed him go show that being rebellious is not that way. Of course he still had his moments a lot but it was better and he wanted to keep getting better.

Ever since you died, it's been hard. He's been angry. The anger fueled from sadness.

Jason had punched a hole through the walk after you died.

Oh, how he missed your mother.

The whole Wayne manor had just gone insane without you, not just him. He wanted you back so bad. This must have been what you felt when he died and you continuing to think he was dead after he resurrected, until he returned home to you, Bruce and the rest of your family.

Often times, he sits at your grave, no matter the weather. He will read to you or tell you about his day. Sometimes he will sit there from sunrise to sunset with his mother.

Oh Y/N, how special you were to him!

Every single one of your boys turned into a mama's boy from how you babied them, taught them, and watched them grow. Even Bruce liked this, even if he wouldn't admit it to the boys. You showed them all true love. But Jason was mama's golden boy.

So why? Why must you be gone?

Here he sat at your grave again, alone. It was cold, and he didn't have warm clothes on. However that didn't stop him from seeing you.

"Ma, can you hear me?" He spoke to your gravestone, flowers in his hand that he was going to put in the gravestone vase before he left.

"I miss you, more than I thought I would. I thought I maybe would have been able to tough this out but I can't." At this point he was tearing up, "Ma, how do I deal with this without your warm hugs or kind words. Everyone is a mess and I have no one to turn to. Even through your own pain and suffering, you helped us all."

Every single word he spoke was true. Why can't his mama come back like he did? Or how Damian did?

With tears running down his face he spoke, "I love you ma." Putting the flowers in the vase, he stood up.

"I hope you heard me."

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

A Changed Future (2) | Yandere Isekai

Part 1

It’s so irritating for Haruko 

He remembers how he used to try and make noise in the beginning, when the same thing happened to him

But even without your struggling, he’s got more obstacles than he thought

“Tch all these guys getting in our way, maybe I should just kill them.”

“Haru no!”

“Why not, I'm sure you did it when I was trapped.”

“That…that doesn’t make it right!”

“So? Who cares about right when we’re in love? I think it was you who said that.”

Either way with or without your approval he’s figuring out a way to take down his newfound rivals

He kind of hopes they are as ambitious as the friends who recently abandoned him

Too bad they aren’t

In the original story, the crazy thing about the protagonist was that despite their obsessive love for Haruko and general disregard for those who got in the way of that was otherwise really inspiring

Breaking away from their elitist family for their violent morals ironic right

Joining the workforce, easily rising because of their work ethic and intelligence

And all that while beautifully evading a less-than-clean detective trying to pin the blame of random crimes on them

Which of course got them their own male leads attempting to pursue their affections

Always doomed to fall short because of circumstance or the protagonist suavely crushing their hopes to gush about their love

It was a uniquely terrible tragedy for their characters to be written this way

That’s what the random reviewers would say

Which is why you did feel inclined to maybe entertain them a bit more than the original protagonist would have ever done

“Since you are quitting….I hope you’ll let me treat you to dinner. For all your hard work of course.”

“Uh sure but I have to be home by sunset.”

“That’s a shame then we’ll have to—Wait. Did you say you would?”

“Yeah, are you okay?”

“YES! Ahem I mean yes I’m fine! I look forward to a nice evening together!”

Unknowingly furthering the obsession the protagonist was barely keeping at bay

“So mind telling me what you ordered that day at the restaurant?”

“I think it was my favorite dish there called the berry delight but I’m not sure. I think they changed the menu since I was there.”

“Why not confirm it later today? That way you can tell me if you did see the missing classmate of yours.”

“But I don’t remember exactly where I sat–”

“Then we’ll just have to sit in every spot until it rings a bell.”

“I don’t know if that’s–”

“Don’t fret. I’ll be paying but there's no way we’ll get to try every table. We’ll have to come back multiple times.”

“Okay…”

“No worries I’m sure you’ll get tired of eating there so we’ll go to some other places to give you a rest. Anywhere you wanted to try?”

You’d be foolish to think you could escape them by agreeing to Haruko’s entrapping of you 

It only takes a day of you not responding to messages that they both eagerly awaiting you at your door

And after the first few times, Haruko shooing them away they begin to get resourceful

“Yeah bud nice try their still out.”

“Hm well say that to my lovely warrant right here.”

“Wait! H-h-hold on! Geez I-i’ll go get them now but they are not going to be happy with you!”

It really doesn’t get better as the guard against the protagonist’s secrets begins to be let down as interested parties slowly make their way in

You don’t have the same ruthlessness or ability to deceive as the protagonist you took over for 

On top of that you never actually read the webtoon so you’ll be left trying to piece together whatever few weak points the protag has

Where if you hadn’t already started to make your pursuers interested all those faults are fuel for their agenda

“It’s so unfortunate that the company can sign off on your absence during this suspicious crime but I don’t mind editing records if you wouldn’t mind spending time with me. That way I can vet your personality myself. Over wine of course!”

It’s overwhelming constantly being pulled in 3 directions 

What’s worse you’re completely oblivious when the latest obstacle in the protag’s perfect life finally makes themselves known

“Hello darling, it took us years to find you but we did it!”

“Don’t look like that come give your Mama a hug!”

Part 3: Coming Soon

[mywitchyblog]

How Shiftok Destroyed Reality Shifting/ the Reality Shifting Community

Introduction :

Reality shifting, a practice based on the belief that individuals can consciously transfer their awareness to alternate realities or dimensions, has long been a niche concept within spiritual and metaphysical circles. However, with the rise of TikTok and the emergence of "Shiftok"—a blend of "shifting" and "TikTok"—this once-obscure practice has surged into mainstream awareness, particularly among younger audiences.

This essay delves into the profound impact of Shiftok on the reality-shifting community, tracing how an intimate, esoteric practice has evolved into a viral social media phenomenon. We will explore the origins of Shiftok, its rapid ascent in popularity, and the wide-ranging effects this digital revolution has had on both the perception and practice of reality shifting.

As we navigate the various facets of this cultural shift, we'll uncover the intricate relationship between social media dynamics, youth culture, and esoteric practices. From the initial surge of excitement and growth to the emergence of concerning trends and fragmentation within the community, the Shiftok phenomenon serves as a compelling case study in how digital platforms can reshape and redefine fringe beliefs and practices.

By examining the rise of Shiftok, its impact on the shifting community, and the responses it has elicited, this essay aims to provide a comprehensive overview of the unique intersection between ancient mystical concepts and modern social media culture. Through this exploration, we will gain insights into the broader implications of viral trends on spiritual practices and the challenges faced by communities as they adapt to sudden mainstream exposure.

Disclaimers : Read the Entire thing as usual. If you did not understand something feel free to tell me i shall gladly explain it to you.

I originally intented to make a simple rant-like post called "my hatred of shiftok" where i explain a story that happened to me that caused me to despise this platform and everything it stood for.

But then i realised that making an objective, educational, informative essay about how toxic, culty and overall nasty the platform became for the reputation of the practice and the community was much more appropriate than a poorly written post .

If any of you are interested in my storytime that made me so resentful of that platform, this post needs to get 200 notes and some comments asking me for it.

So enjoy this essay that i took much pleasure in writing :

Masterlist

II-The Rise of Shiftok

Shiftok, a portmanteau of "shifting" and "TikTok," emerged as a significant phenomenon within the broader landscape of social media, specifically on the TikTok platform. Its origins can be traced back to the early 2020s when reality-shifting content began gaining traction among young users on the app. What began as a niche interest rapidly snowballed into a viral trend, captivating the imaginations of millions of users worldwide.

The growth of Shiftok was meteoric, driven by several key factors that perfectly aligned with the TikTok ecosystem. Central to its success was the platform's short-form video format, which allowed creators to distill complex reality-shifting concepts into bite-sized, easily digestible content. This format proved ideal for sharing quick tips, visualization techniques, and purported success stories, making the practice appear more accessible to newcomers.

TikTok's powerful algorithm played a crucial role in propelling Shiftok to prominence. The app's content distribution system, designed to keep users engaged by serving them content tailored to their interests, quickly identified and promoted shifting-related videos to receptive audiences. This created a feedback loop where increased engagement led to greater visibility, drawing in curious newcomers and further fueling the trend's growth.

The demographic makeup of TikTok's user base also significantly contributed to Shiftok's rise. With a large proportion of young users, particularly teenagers and young adults, the platform provided fertile ground for reality-shifting content to flourish. This age group, often characterized by a desire for escapism, self-discovery, and novel experiences, found the concept of reality shifting particularly appealing.

As Shiftok gained momentum, it initially had a positive impact on the broader reality-shifting community. The increased visibility brought about by viral TikTok videos led to a surge of interest in the practice, drawing in thousands of new enthusiasts. This influx of newcomers energized the community, sparking discussions, fostering creativity, and expanding the collective knowledge base.

The platform also facilitated unprecedented levels of community engagement. Shifters from around the world could easily connect, share experiences, and offer support to one another through comments, duets, and collaborative videos. For those who felt isolated or misunderstood in their offline lives, this sense of community was particularly valuable, providing a space where they could freely discuss their shifting experiences and beliefs.

Moreover, Shiftok became a hub for sharing diverse experiences and methods related to reality shifting. Creators competed to produce the most engaging content, leading to an explosion of creativity in how shifting techniques were presented and explained. From guided meditations set to trending sounds to elaborate "POV" (point of view) scenarios depicting life in desired realities, the content on Shiftok was varied and dynamic.

However, the rapid growth and popularization of reality shifting through Shiftok soon revealed its double-edged nature. While it brought unprecedented attention and growth to the practice, it also set the stage for significant challenges that would reshape the reality-shifting community in profound and sometimes problematic ways. The very factors that contributed to Shiftok's meteoric rise—its accessibility, algorithmic amplification, and appeal to young users—would also play a role in the issues that emerged as the trend continued to evolve.

III-Negative Effects on the Reality Shifting Community

The meteoric rise of Shiftok, which initially invigorated the reality-shifting community, soon gave way to a host of negative consequences that profoundly impacted the practice and its practitioners. As the trend gained momentum, the integrity of the shifting community began to erode under the pressures of misinformation, oversimplification, and rampant commercialization.

One of the most significant issues was the rapid spread of misinformation. The viral nature of TikTok, coupled with the absence of robust fact-checking mechanisms, created an environment where unverified claims and exaggerated experiences could proliferate unchecked. Users, eager for views and followers, often shared sensationalized accounts of their shifting experiences, blurring the line between genuine practices and fantasy. Pseudoscientific explanations for shifting, often based on misinterpretations of quantum physics or neuroscience, gained traction, lending a false air of legitimacy to questionable concepts.

This problem was further exacerbated by the emergence of viral trends within the Shiftok community. "Shifting challenges" and purported "fool-proof methods" spread rapidly, often prioritizing entertainment value over accuracy or safety. While these trends were engaging for viewers, they frequently misrepresented the nature of reality shifting, leading to confusion and unrealistic expectations among newcomers to the practice.

Another detrimental effect of Shiftok's influence was the oversimplification of shifting techniques. The platform's short-form video format necessitated the distillation of complex practices into brief, easily digestible content. This led to a proliferation of "quick and easy" methods that promised results with minimal effort or understanding. While these simplified techniques made shifting seem more accessible, they neglected the nuances and deeper aspects of the practice.

This oversimplification had far-reaching consequences. Many newcomers, drawn by the promise of instant results, became frustrated when their experiences did not match the effortless successes portrayed in viral videos. The more traditional, in-depth practices that required patience, dedication, and self-reflection were often overlooked in favor of these quick-fix solutions. This shift in focus threatened to undermine the spiritual and personal growth aspects that many long-time practitioners viewed as integral to the shifting experience.

Perhaps the most troubling development was the increasing commercialization and exploitation of the reality-shifting community. As Shiftok content gained popularity, a new breed of "shifting influencers" emerged, eager to capitalize on the trend. This led to the monetization of shifting content through sponsorships, merchandise, and paid services. While some creators genuinely aimed to help and educate, others saw an opportunity for profit, selling dubious products like "shifting crystals" or "dimensional jump sprays" with little regard for their efficacy or the potential impact on vulnerable users.

The rise of influencer culture within the shifting community also fostered an environment where popularity and engagement metrics often took precedence over the quality or accuracy of information shared. This created a perverse incentive structure where creators were rewarded for producing sensational or controversial content rather than focusing on responsible, well-researched information.

These negative effects collectively undermined the foundations of the reality-shifting community. What had once been a practice rooted in personal exploration and spiritual growth was at risk of being reduced to a commercialized trend, divorced from its original intent and values. The influx of misinformation, coupled with the oversimplification of techniques and the exploitation of practitioners, threatened to dilute the authenticity of the practice and alienate serious practitioners.

As these issues came to the forefront, they set the stage for broader impacts on both the external perception of reality shifting and the internal dynamics of the community itself. The once-unified community began to fragment, grappling with questions of authenticity, methodology, and the very nature of reality shifting in the age of viral social media trends.

IV. The Dark Side of Shiftok: Toxicity, Pressure, and Dogma in the Reality Shifting Community

The meteoric rise of reality shifting on TikTok, while bringing unprecedented attention to the practice, also uncovered a darker, more insidious aspect within the community. This phenomenon, commonly referred to as "Shiftok," became a breeding ground for toxicity, misinformation, and oppressive dogma, threatening the very essence of what many considered a deeply personal and transformative practice.

One of the most troubling developments within Shiftok was the emergence of arbitrary and often harmful age-related pressures. A particularly pernicious belief circulated that individuals who hadn't successfully shifted by a certain age, typically 18, were somehow suspect or, in extreme cases, labeled as "pedophiles" for aging themselves down for realities they made when they were minors and have romantic/sexual relationships there. This baseless and damaging accusation stemmed from the misguided notion that older shifters were attempting to reach realities where they were younger, automatically assuming predatory intentions or attraction to minors.

(This misguided notion has been debunked in this post).

This ageist dogma not only created unnecessary anxiety among practitioners but also demonstrated a fundamental misunderstanding of the diverse motivations for reality shifting. Many adult shifters, drawn to the practice for spiritual growth, self-exploration, healing, or simply out of curiosity, found themselves unfairly stigmatized and excluded from community spaces. The irony of this situation was not lost on more discerning observers, who noted that the very teenagers propagating these ideas often shifted to realities where they themselves were adults or teens, without the same scrutiny applied to older shifters—highlighting a hypocritical double standard.

The Shiftok environment grew increasingly hostile to divergent opinions or experiences that didn't align with the prevailing narrative. Users who questioned popular methods, expressed skepticism about certain claims, or shared experiences differing from the norm often faced severe backlash. This cultish adherence to a singular vision of reality shifting stifled healthy debate and critical thinking, essential components for the growth and legitimacy of any practice.

Contradictory information flourished in this echo chamber, with different factions of Shiftokers promoting conflicting "rules" about shifting. Some insisted that physical symptoms like headaches or nausea were necessary signs of an impending shift, while others claimed the process should be entirely painless. This cacophony of conflicting advice left many newcomers confused and frustrated, often leading to disillusionment with the practice altogether.

Particularly concerning was the lack of spiritual hygiene and safety measures in many Shiftok-promoted methods. In the rush to create viral content, many creators neglected to address the potential psychological and emotional risks associated with reality shifting, especially for vulnerable individuals. Basic practices like grounding, protection visualization, or setting clear intentions—staples in many traditional spiritual practices—were often overlooked in favor of quick, sensationalized techniques promising instant results.

The "TikTokification" of reality shifting led to a troubling simplification and commercialization of the practice. Complex philosophical and spiritual concepts were reduced to snappy soundbites and trendy hashtags. The depth and nuance of reality shifting, with its potential for profound personal growth and self-discovery, were often lost in a sea of shallow, entertainment-focused content.

This commercialization reached disturbing heights as some Shiftok influencers began selling "shifting aids"—everything from specially designed pillowcases to "quantum-aligned" water bottles. These products, often backed by pseudoscientific claims and endorsements from popular creators, preyed on the desperation of those struggling to achieve their first shift.

The pressure to shift successfully and quickly became overwhelming for many in the community. Stories of users spending hours each day attempting to shift, neglecting school, work, or real-world relationships, began to surface. This intensity was fueled by a culture of comparison fostered by Shiftok, where users constantly measured their experiences against the often exaggerated or fabricated successes of others.

The pervasive toxic positivity in many Shiftok spaces further compounded these issues. Users who expressed doubts, struggles, or negative experiences were often dismissed or told they simply weren't "believing" hard enough. This invalidation of genuine concerns and difficulties created an environment where many felt unable to seek help or share their true experiences.

Perhaps most troublingly, the Shiftok phenomenon began to blur the lines between reality and fantasy for some users, particularly younger ones. The constant immersion in shifting content, combined with the pressure to experience increasingly fantastical scenarios, raised concerns among mental health professionals about dissociation and reality distortion.

The lack of age-appropriate content moderation on TikTok exacerbated many of these issues. Young users were often exposed to mature or potentially traumatizing shifting scenarios without adequate context or support. The platform's algorithm, designed to maximize engagement, frequently pushed users deeper into shifting-related content rabbit holes, creating echo chambers that reinforced problematic beliefs and practices.

As the Shiftok phenomenon continued to evolve, it became evident that the toxicity, misinformation, and dogmatic thinking it fostered were antithetical to the core principles of personal growth and exploration that many associated with reality shifting. The challenge for the broader shifting community became not only to counter these negative aspects but also to reclaim and redefine the practice in a more balanced, responsible, and authentically transformative way.

V-Impact on Perception of Reality Shifting

The rise of Shiftok and its subsequent influence on the reality shifting community had far-reaching consequences that extended beyond the boundaries of TikTok and into broader public perception. As reality shifting catapulted from a niche practice to a viral trend, it faced increased scrutiny and skepticism from outsiders, fundamentally altering how the concept was perceived and discussed in mainstream discourse.

One of the most significant impacts was the surge in skepticism from those outside the shifting community. As Shiftok videos proliferated across social media platforms, reality shifting became increasingly associated with internet fads and youth subcultures. This association, while bringing attention to the practice, also invited dismissal and ridicule from skeptics who viewed it as yet another fleeting online trend rather than a serious spiritual or metaphysical practice.

The viral nature of Shiftok content, often emphasizing fantastical elements and pop culture references, contributed to widespread misconceptions about the nature and purpose of reality shifting. Many outsiders began to view shifting solely through the lens of these viral videos, equating it with lucid dreaming, role playing, or pure fantasy. This oversimplification obscured the deeper philosophical and experiential aspects of shifting that many practitioners held dear.

Media attention, drawn by the explosive growth of the trend, often approached reality shifting with a mixture of curiosity and skepticism. News articles and reports, while bringing mainstream visibility to the practice, frequently focused on the more sensational aspects of Shiftok content. This selective coverage further skewed public perception, often painting reality shifting as a potentially harmful delusion rather than a nuanced spiritual or psychological practice.

The influx of young practitioners drawn in by Shiftok also influenced how reality shifting was perceived. The predominance of teenagers and young adults (often female) in the community led many to dismiss the practice as a form of escapism or a coping mechanism for youth struggling with the challenges of adolescence and early adulthood. While there was some truth to the appeal of shifting as a form of escape, this generalization overlooked the diverse motivations and experiences of practitioners across different age groups.

Perhaps one of the most damaging impacts on perception was the trivialization of reality shifting. What had once been considered a profound, rich, complex and transformative practice by many long-time shifters was increasingly reduced to entertainment or a casual hobby for psychotic and mentally ill schoolgirls in the public eye. The depth of experience and personal growth that many attributed to their shifting journeys was often lost in the sea of light-hearted Shiftok content.

This trivialization had a particularly strong effect on how the spiritual and personal development aspects of shifting were perceived. The focus on quick results and fantastical destinations in viral content overshadowed the more introspective and growth-oriented approaches to shifting. As a result, the potential for reality shifting as a tool for self-discovery, healing, and expanding consciousness was often overlooked or dismissed by those forming opinions based solely on its social media representation.

The surge in popularity also attracted the attention of mental health professionals and researchers, some of whom expressed concerns about the potential psychological impacts of reality shifting, especially on younger practitioners. While some approached the topic with genuine curiosity and open-mindedness, others were quick to pathologize the practice, further contributing to negative perceptions.

For serious practitioners and researchers in the field, this shift in public perception presented significant challenges. Many found themselves fighting an uphill battle to legitimize their experiences and studies in the face of widespread skepticism and misconceptions fueled by Shiftok's portrayal of reality shifting.

The cumulative effect of these changes in perception created a complex and often contradictory public image of reality shifting. On one hand, it had never been more visible or widely discussed. On the other hand, this visibility came at the cost of depth and nuance, with the practice often misunderstood, trivialized, or dismissed outright by those outside the community.

This transformation in how reality shifting was perceived set the stage for further fragmentation within the community itself, as practitioners grappled with questions of authenticity, methodology, and the future direction of their practice in a post-Shiftok landscape.(By post-Shiftok i mean the period after aug-2020 to aug 2021 since it was during that year that people talked about shiftok and subsequently shifting the most in the media)

VI-Fragmentation of the community

Fragmentation of the Community

The rise of Shiftok and its profound impact on the reality shifting landscape inevitably led to significant fragmentation within the community itself. What was once a relatively cohesive group of practitioners united by shared beliefs and experiences began to splinter into various factions, each with its own perspectives on the nature and practice of reality shifting.

At the heart of this fragmentation lay heated disputes over authenticity. As the community expanded rapidly due to the influx of new practitioners drawn in by viral Shiftok content, tensions arose between long-time shifters and newcomers. Experienced practitioners often viewed the Shiftok-inspired methods and claims with skepticism, questioning the authenticity of experiences shared in short, highly edited videos. They argued that true shifting required dedication, practice, and a deep understanding of the underlying principles - elements they felt were often lacking in the quick and easy methods popularized on the platform.

This divide gave rise to intense debates about what constituted "real" shifting versus what some dismissively termed as "fake" shifting. Veterans of the practice often criticized Shiftok shifters for conflating lucid dreaming, visualization, or simple daydreaming with genuine reality shifting experiences. These disputes frequently turned acrimonious, with accusations of gatekeeping from one side and of diluting the practice from the other.

The community also witnessed the emergence of a generational gap. Older practitioners, who had been exploring reality shifting long before it became a social media trend, often found themselves at odds with the younger generation of shifters who had discovered the practice through Shiftok. This age divide was not merely about experience but also about fundamental approaches to shifting. While older shifters tended to emphasize the spiritual and personal growth aspects of the practice, many younger practitioners were drawn to shifting for its entertainment value or as a means of escaping real-world problems.

Another significant factor contributing to the fragmentation was the varying goals and motivations for shifting among practitioners. The Shiftok trend had popularized the idea of shifting to fictional universes or idealized realities, often based on popular media franchises. This contrasted sharply with more traditional approaches that focused on spiritual exploration, self-discovery, or connecting with alternate versions of oneself. The community found itself divided between those who viewed shifting as a fun, imaginative exercise (usually those people either don't believe in permashifting/respawning or say it is bad/ dangerous /problematic) and those who treated it as a serious metaphysical practice.

This divergence in goals led to the formation of distinct sub-communities within the broader shifting world. Communities flourished on other social media platforms, characterized by their focus on pop culture destinations, quick methods, and shared scripting techniques. In contrast, more traditional shifting communities sought refuge in forums, Discord servers, and other platforms that allowed for more in-depth discussions and longer-form content.

The fragmentation was further exacerbated by disagreements over methodology. Shiftok's algorithm-driven content distribution meant that certain methods and techniques gained viral popularity, often at the expense of more established practices. This led to heated debates about the efficacy and safety of various shifting methods, with some practitioners warning against the potential dangers of techniques that promised quick results without proper grounding or protection.

As the community continued to fracture, it became increasingly difficult for newcomers to navigate the conflicting information and polarized viewpoints. Many found themselves caught between the allure of the easy, accessible methods promoted on Shiftok and the more rigorous, traditional approaches advocated by experienced shifters. This confusion often led to frustration and disillusionment, with some abandoning the practice altogether.

The fragmentation also had implications for the collective knowledge and support systems within the shifting community. As practitioners increasingly segregated themselves into like-minded groups, the free exchange of ideas and experiences that had once characterized the community began to break down. This siloing effect threatened to stunt the growth and evolution of reality shifting as a practice, with valuable insights and techniques potentially being lost in the noise of inter-community conflicts.

As the reality-shifting community continued to grapple with these internal divisions, it became clear that the impact of Shiftok had irrevocably altered the landscape of the practice. A practice that was characterized by its beauty, complexity and richness whose practitioners could talk about philosophy culture and spirituality four hours, has been watered down, dumbed down into a bunch of mentally ill schoolgirls shifting to get railed by wizard nazis and hysterical teenagers who would cuss someone's entire bloodline for doubting or questioning the practise. Which is something totally valid and proves that those individuals do not know anything about the practice at all.

Honestly i cannot blame when antishifters claim that reality shifting is a cult since it is all they see and are being shown. People dismissing their pain under a toxic positive statement of “you haven't tried harder”or “just believe more” coupled with contradictory and hypocritical statements, makes it impossible to break free from those stereotypes.

VII-Psychological and Ethical Concerns

The meteoric rise of Shiftok and its profound impact on the reality shifting community gave rise to a host of psychological and ethical concerns that extended far beyond the realm of social media trends. As the practice gained widespread popularity, particularly among younger audiences, mental health professionals, ethicists, and even some within the shifting community itself began to voice apprehensions about the potential risks and implications of this phenomenon.

One of the primary psychological concerns centered around the addictive nature of both shifting experiences and Shiftok content itself. Many practitioners, especially younger ones, reported spending hours consuming shifting-related videos, often at the expense of real-world responsibilities and relationships. This obsessive engagement with Shiftok content, coupled with the allure of escaping to idealized realities, raised fears about the development of maladaptive coping mechanisms and potential neglect of personal growth in the physical world.

The immersive nature of reality shifting experiences also sparked debates about the risk of dissociation and reality distortion. Some mental health experts expressed concern that frequent shifting, especially for extended periods, might blur the lines between perceived realities, potentially leading to difficulties in distinguishing between shifted experiences and waking life. This was particularly worrisome for individuals with pre-existing mental health conditions or a predisposition to dissociative disorders.

The use of reality shifting as a form of escapism became another point of contention. While many practitioners viewed shifting as a harmless and even beneficial way to explore alternate realities or cope with stress, critics argued that it could become a means of avoiding real-life issues rather than addressing them. The concern was that vulnerable individuals, particularly adolescents facing challenging life circumstances, might retreat into desired realities rather than developing crucial life skills and resilience.

Ethical considerations also came to the forefront, particularly regarding the age-appropriateness of shifting content and the safeguarding of young users. The prevalence of young teenagers in the Shiftok community raised questions about the potential impact of reality shifting on developing minds. Some worry that exposure to intense or mature themes in desired realities could be psychologically damaging for younger practitioners who might not have the emotional maturity to process such experiences.

The responsibility of content creators became a significant ethical issue. As Shiftok influencers gained massive followings, often consisting largely of impressionable youth, questions arose about their duty of care. Many creators, in their pursuit of views and engagement, shared unverified methods or exaggerated claims about shifting successes. This raised concerns about the potential for manipulation or the inadvertent promotion of harmful practices, especially given the lack of scientific consensus on the nature and effects of reality shifting.

Another ethical dilemma emerged around the potential for reality shifting communities to develop cult-like characteristics. The intense belief systems surrounding shifting, combined with the charismatic influence of popular Shiftok creators, created an environment where some practitioners became deeply emotionally invested in the practice. This led to fears about the vulnerability of members to exploitation or the development of unhealthy group dynamics.

The commercialization of reality shifting through Shiftok also raised ethical red flags. As creators began selling products, services, or exclusive content related to shifting, questions arose about the morality of profiting from a practice that many viewed as a deeply personal or spiritual endeavor. There were concerns about the exploitation of believers, particularly when unproven products or techniques were marketed as enhancing shifting abilities.

Within the shifting community itself, practitioners grappled with the ethics of their practice. Debates arose about the morality of shifting to realities where one might engage in behaviors considered unethical in the physical world. This led to philosophical discussions about the nature of reality, free will, and personal responsibility across multiple perceived realities.

The long-term psychological effects of reality shifting remained a topic of intense speculation and concern. With little scientific research on the subject, many wondered about the potential impacts on personality development, identity formation, and overall mental well-being, especially for those who began shifting at a young age.(around puberty so 13-15 where people can be very malleable )

As these psychological and ethical concerns came to light, calls for more research and responsible practices within the shifting community grew louder. Some advocates pushed for the development of ethical guidelines for Shiftok creators, while others emphasized the need for mental health resources tailored to the unique challenges faced by reality shifters.

The reality shifting community found itself at a crossroads, forced to confront these complex psychological and ethical issues. As the practice continued to evolve in the wake of the Shiftok phenomenon, addressing these concerns became crucial not only for the well-being of individual practitioners but also for the long-term sustainability and credibility of reality shifting as a whole.

One of the most important ways to counter, prevent, or mitigate the dangers of reality shifting is through the practice of Spiritual Hygiene. Unfortunately, this concept seems to be something that many Shiftokers fail to grasp, highlighting their lack of concrete knowledge about the practice. It's particularly frustrating that these individuals are often the most visible within the community, while true experts with deeper understanding are overshadowed.

Reality shifting, whether people accept it or not, is inherently a spiritual practice. By its very nature, shifting cannot be scientifically proven—yet, it also cannot be disproven. This makes it a unique and highly subjective experience, with each shifter’s journey being distinct. If shifting were to be scientifically validated, it would become an objective practice, leading to uniform experiences across the board.

Given its spiritual nature, maintaining spiritual hygiene is essential. One cannot embark on this journey and neglect such a fundamental concept. The saying, "healthy body, healthy mind; healthy mind, healthy body," perfectly encapsulates why spiritual hygiene is a necessity in shifting. When people neglect it, they often experience mental and physical harm, which they mistakenly attribute to the practice of shifting itself.

(I suggest that you read my post on the subject)

VIII-The Response from the Traditional Shifting Community

As the Shiftok phenomenon continued to reshape the landscape of reality shifting, the traditional shifting community found itself compelled to respond to the myriad challenges and changes brought about by this new wave of practitioners and content. This response was multifaceted, reflecting the complex emotions and perspectives within the established shifting community.

Initially, many long-time shifters reacted with a mixture of excitement and apprehension to the sudden surge in interest in their practice. While they welcomed the increased visibility and potential for growth, they quickly became concerned about the quality and accuracy of information being disseminated through Shiftok. This concern catalyzed a concentrated effort to combat misinformation within the community.

Veteran shifters took to various platforms to share their knowledge and experiences, often directly addressing and debunking popular misconceptions propagated on Shiftok. They created detailed guides, wrote blog posts, and produced long-form video content aimed at providing a more nuanced and accurate representation of reality shifting. These efforts were not merely reactive; they represented a proactive attempt to preserve the integrity of the practice in the face of its rapid popularization.

In response to the oversimplification of shifting techniques on Shiftok, many traditional practitioners began emphasizing the importance of in-depth, holistic approaches to shifting. They developed and shared more rigorous practices and guidelines, often drawing on years of personal experience and collective wisdom (spiritual hygiene). These methods typically focused on mental preparation, spiritual alignment, and ethical considerations – aspects often overlooked in viral Shiftok content.

The traditional community also recognized the need for safer, more controlled spaces for discussion and practice. This led to the creation and expansion of alternative platforms and communities dedicated to serious shifting discourse. Forums, Discord servers, and specialized websites emerged as havens for in-depth conversations, troubleshooting, and mutual support among experienced shifters and sincere newcomers alike. These spaces often implemented stricter moderation policies to maintain the quality of discussions and protect vulnerable members from potentially harmful information.

Many established shifters took on mentorship roles, offering guidance to newcomers who sought a deeper understanding beyond what Shiftok could provide. These mentors focused on teaching not just the techniques of shifting, but also its philosophical underpinnings and potential for personal growth. They emphasized patience, persistence, and self-reflection as key components of a successful shifting practice – a stark contrast to the "quick and easy" methods often touted on social media.

The traditional community also began to engage more actively in research and documentation efforts. Recognizing the lack of scientific study on reality shifting, some practitioners started collaborating with open-minded researchers or conducting their own systematic studies of shifting experiences. While these efforts were often informal, they represented an attempt to bring more rigor and credibility to the field.

In response to the commercialization of shifting on Shiftok, many traditional practitioners reaffirmed their commitment to keeping shifting accessible and non-commercialized. They freely shared resources, techniques, and support, often explicitly critiquing the trend of monetizing shifting knowledge or selling shifting-related products.

However, the response from the traditional community was not uniformly positive or constructive. Some long-time shifters reacted with frustration or elitism, dismissing Shiftok shifters entirely and retreating further into closed communities. This gatekeeping behavior, while intended to preserve the integrity of the practice, sometimes had the unintended effect of alienating genuine seekers and furthering the divide within the broader shifting community.

As the initial shock of the Shiftok phenomenon began to wane, many in the traditional community started to see it as an opportunity for growth and evolution. They recognized that while Shiftok had brought challenges, it had also introduced shifting to a vast new audience, some of whom would inevitably seek deeper understanding. This realization led to efforts to bridge the gap between traditional practices and the new wave of shifters, seeking common ground and shared experiences.

The response of the traditional shifting community to the Shiftok phenomenon was ultimately one of adaptation and resilience. While striving to maintain the core principles and depth of their practice, many long-time shifters also recognized the need to evolve and engage with a changing landscape. Their efforts to educate, guide, and create safe spaces for authentic shifting practices played a crucial role in shaping the future direction of the reality shifting community as a whole.

IX. Conclusion: The Aftermath of Shiftok's Impact on Reality Shifting

The rise of Shiftok, while initially bringing unprecedented attention and growth to the reality shifting community, ultimately led to its fragmentation and, in many ways, undermined the core principles and practices of reality shifting.

Shiftok's impact on the reality shifting community can be considered destructive in several key aspects:

Misinformation: The rapid spread of unverified claims and oversimplified techniques diluted the authenticity of the practice.

Trivialization: The depth and spiritual aspects of shifting were often reduced to entertainment, diminishing its perceived value.

Community Division: The influx of new practitioners led to conflicts between traditional shifters and Shiftok-inspired newcomers, fracturing the once-cohesive community.

Ethical Concerns: The lack of safeguards and the potential exploitation of vulnerable users raised serious ethical questions.

Loss of Authenticity: The commercialization and "TikTokification" of shifting distorted its original intent and practices.

While it would be an overstatement to say that Shiftok entirely destroyed reality shifting, it undeniably transformed the landscape of the practice, often in detrimental ways. The community now faces the challenge of reclaiming and redefining reality shifting in a post-Shiftok era, balancing accessibility with depth, and navigating the complex intersection of ancient practices and modern digital culture.

The Shiftok phenomenon serves as a cautionary tale about the double-edged nature of viral trends and their impact on esoteric practices, highlighting the need for mindful integration of traditional wisdom with contemporary platforms.

[shadowbriar]

Regulus Black ‐ Jasmine, Lavender, and Poppy

Pairing : Regulus Black x (she/her) Reader Word Count : 0.6k Warning : Nothing, just pure fluff. Synopsis : Regulus made sure that she would never forget his scent ever again. Notes : My first blurb. Should I make more of these? If you like this story and would like to support me, please visit my kofi page and perhaps get me a coffee?☕  

She remembers his scent well. That very special smell of oud and leather, something that portrays luxury and obscurity. Something that feels like home. Something that screams him— Regulus Arcturus Black.

But poking on Regulus has always been one of her most favourite things to do. Even before they were romantic, teasing him has always been second nature for her. His reactions have always brought her bliss. Their harmless banter is what fuels their day and it feels like the perfect time for her to pull the first taunt of the day.

"I don't smell you from the Amortentia," She lied, teasing her boyfriend whose brows are now pinched high from the offensive words she spilled "I smelled cinnamon, wet grass, and linen."

"Bullshit, I smelled you. There's no way you smelled someone else."

Shs shrugs, closing her textbook that hasn't been read ever since they entered the library, "Maybe you smelled wrong."

"I'm never wrong about these kinds of things."

"Yeah?" She challenges, propping her chin in the palm of her hand "What did you smell?"

"I smelled jasmine, lavender, and poppy."

"That doesn't smell like me. You're just listing random flowers."

Regulus raised an eyebrow, "Your perfume's base is jasmine. You drop a few lavender oil to your seal wax on all of our letters. Your garden is filled with poppies. You are jasmine, lavender, and poppy."

A smile blooms on her face. It was one thing to be satisfied by teasing your boyfriend and another to have him spelling the little details of you. Regulus has always been the observant party of the two, she just never realised how much of her he's taking notes of.

"Also, Love, your house is always decorated with those three flowers on every corner. You are what I smelled from Amortentia. You are my soulmate."

"Well, no one said Amortentia smells like your soulmate. They say it smells like someone you're attracted to so maybe that's why." She continues her scheme, concealing her blooming heart "Maybe I'm attracted to someone else now."

Regulus' brows rose higher, looking even more appalled at her words, "Are you being serious right now?"

She shrugs.

Regulus stood from his seat. Perhaps teasing him in the library when they're the last people there wasn't such a brilliant idea. Merlin knows what he might do now. Regulus might be a calm and collected person but wrong poke and you'll wake the fury inside him.

She started to inch away, pushing her seat back until it hit the wall, giving her no other space to escape. Regulus kneeled down, levelling to her eye level and eyes her deeply. His brows were still knitted in displease but his eyes were soft. Her plan to keep an aloof expression has evidently failed as a playful smile cracks on her lips, anticipating for his next move whilst praying that he wasn't genuinely angry.

"You're a menace." He says before kissing her.

Regulus pulled her chair closer, locking her in place as he put his hands on her sides. It wasn't like she's planning to leave, anyway. No one in their right mind would want to go when they're being kissed by him, especially with such an intimate and asserting position.

One hell of a man, Regulus is.

A victorious smile was plastered on her face when they pulled away. It was a short kiss. Just enough for him to prove to her just how wrong she is about the scents she's attracted to. Regulus knew that she was lying, that she was just trying to get his reaction, yet he complied with her charade anyway.

Regulus now stands from his position. He took off his robe, tossing it carelessly to the seat he occupied a couple minutes ago. He then takes off his jumper, making her cheeks burn from the sight. He surely knows how to keep her around.

"The library might not give you the best privacy if you're planning to go nude, Love." She comments.

Regulus rolls his eyes, handing her his jumper, "Wear it."

"Why?"

"So you won't ever forget my scent again."

[threepandas]

Bad End: Soldier A

I'm pretty sure you know the story. Everybody does. Chosen Hero, Demon King, they fight, save the day, yada yada. Everybody supposedly lives happily ever after. Everything sunshine and roses. Puppies and farting rainbows. But... but it's NOT.

It's really fucking NOT.

I used to love reading stories like that. They were escapism. Grand adventures in a terrible, grey, slowly crushing hellscape of a world. But... but, FUCK. At least there weren't drauger! No demon wolves or skeleton soldiers! Or the FUCKING little flying bastards. God. I HATE those ones the most.

They have sharp, needle-y little claws and teeth like a SHARK fucked a TREE THRESHER. And they scream. Just... yowl and yowl in this ear splitting high pitch like they're trying to DEAFEN you ON TOP of trying to rip you apart.

That life was peaceful.

I was a fool to wish for anything else.

I am not the Chosen One. I'm not even a supporting character. I remember this bullshit little yarn, and I? Am NO WHERE fucking in it. I am just... just some rando, in this struggle of demons and Gods. The child of Some Dude. We... we had chickens. Fat, happy, lil hens.

I remember being ENTRANCED. I had lived all my life, before, in suburban sprawl. So chickens? Strutting around and chasing bugs? Tiny me was hypnotized.

It saved my life.

I half wish it didn't, some days.

That I died, sudden and without the chance to truely comprehend, along side my family. That my neighbors eldest hadn't seen me by the coop. Grabbed me desperately as he ran for his life. Our entire FUCKING village...

There were six survivors.

I was one of them.

And it's... it's all just? FLAVOR TEXT for the Chosen One's tale of Glory. A reason for why she's so NEEDED. So BELOVED. Look how AWESOME she is! Saintess, because when are they NOT? Hero, because it's all about HER. A god damned LOVE STORY thrown in, because THAT'S important, while people are suffering! Dying!

Are? You? KIDDING ME!?

Legends speak of a "Hero's Party". I know damn well it's true. That it WILL succeed. But FUCK that. FUCK waiting for her to "be ready"! To gather allies and turn from some sheltered little rose, into the warrior we ACTUALLY NEED. It's my world too. I was the one who had to help dig out survivors! Tend to the wounded! Fight off swarms! Hold back the dead!

I...! I was the one who had to LOOK PEOPLE IN THE EYE and... AND-!

B-Because sometimes? SOMETIMES?! Those bites DON'T HEAL. Can't heal! They are filled with so much demonic power, that the only thing they CAN do is corrupt. Fester. Poison. Sometimes you're already DEAD and nothing short of the oh so precious SAINTESS could possibly save you.

But she's not HERE... is she?

So you have a choice.

If you're lucky? It's JUST a limb. A chunk of flesh. But more often then not... well... The lucky ones have time to say goodbye. The unlucky ones get to be twisted and used against their friends. Their family's. And if you care. If you CARE AT ALL? You put them down before that happens.

Because they wouldn't want that.

It... it feeds a HATE in me. An ANGER.

No, that's not right... it's more like? It feeds...

A RAGE.

An ugly, burning thing. That's hollowed out my chest. Wrapped around my bones. Fueled by the memories of every innocent I failed to save. By the fear and the suffering, that just keeps dragging on and on and ON. An endless slog that seems designed to break men down. Destroy us.

I feel like it's killing the humanity in me. The kindness I once had. Like I am burning away everything but purpose. And will have nothing left when I am done. IF I am ever done. It... it used to scare me.

Now I am to angry, too tired, to be afraid.

Let me die. I do not CARE. So long as I TAKE THEM WITH ME. Burn them ALL. My brothers in arms, my sisters of war, those that fight and fight and FIGHT? They feel the same. We didn't fucking WAIT. Refused to watch the slaughter. Gaining ground only to lose it, losing ground only to claw it back.

Holding the line.

We can't actually KILL him. We know that. Only the Saintess can actually fucking END this nightmare. But his monsters? Those still fall too steel. And if we are to die regardless, why NOT in defense of our homes?

We've managed to push a path, deep into the Demonic lands. A spear point to stab the heart of HIS damned empire. We... we can hold it. MUST hold it. At all costs. For that flimsy, weak willed, half trained NITWIT of a child. So when she FINALLY gets off her ass and stops making goo-goo eyes at her trainers? She can come and finish the job.

Then get crowned queen of forever or something.

I don't know, I don't CARE. I'm going to buy some damn chickens. Fill a yard with them. Honor my parents and be the best damn farmer this world has ever SEEN.

Another crash against our shields. Screams as someone's arm breaks. As someone else is savaged through a crack in our barrier, as something probably gives. I slam my spear forward. Vital point. Vital point. Ignore the strain. The way your arm feels like a giant is stepping on it. Like some is trying to rip the shield from your grip. Hold... HOOOOLD!

Go for the eyes. Aim for the throat. Kidneys. Arteries, arteries, heart! The spear is wretched from my grip. I shout for another. Reach blindly, trusting my countrymen. I feel the grip of another one pressed into my hand. I slam my spear forward.

The fight goes on.

For hours.

It was some sort of ape-bear chimera things this time. But bigger and with spikes. No ones quite sure if they're in the "fucked up monstrosities" book yet. I'M certainly too dead on my feet to check. I sit an eat some fucking soup. Mmmmm, rations soup. Technically edible! My favorite flavor.

In the distance, sits the Demon King's fancy ass doom castle.

Any closer? And HE might be inspired to actually "deal" with us. I can't wait for the day it-An explosion of noise from the command tent. Everyone's heads whip around to stare, alarmed. But... but that didn't sound... BAD shouting. It takes us a long, long moment. It had honestly been YEARS since some of us had HEARD such a noise. But...?

W...was that?

Excitement?

I passed off my soup to a newbie. He honestly needed it more anyway. Told him to eat. Then got up and headed for command. Something was happening. As I got close, the flap was all but ripped open. A commander, actually? Smiling!? What the fresh hell?

A commander looking for someone. Spots me. Waves me over and in. I jog over. The tent is practically HUMMING with excitement. And there, on the tabke with the war map? Is an old, OLD dagger. Very... magical girl, in design. Flourishes, sparkling, and lovely dispite being what must be... what, centuries old? Worn to hell and back? What IS that?

It's the weapon of a previous Chosen One.

A Holy Blade.

Holy Shit. HOW. Where?! Where AND HOW!? I thought the royal family snapped all those fuckers up too show off! If not them, the Temple! I'm met with seni-hysterical laughs of disbelief.

A PRIEST stole it.

Nearly DIED doing so. Temple's probably FURIOUS. Gonna come to get it BACK, most likely. We're gonna have to move FAST. We're gonna only get ONE chance at this. I nod. Ready for whatever command needs me to do. Hold off some holy knights? Punch a priest? I'll get... SUPER excommunicated, but? Fuck it. If it saves lives.

No.

No they need me to wield the blade. I'm sorry?? WHAT.

It's apparently Maiden Locked. Fucking... Maidens Only! Got lucky? No holy weapon for you! Married but a virgin? Weaponless! Oh, fffffuck yooooou, creepy perv deities. There are LIVES ON THE LINE, in this, a GOD DAMNED WAR, and you LOCK the import weapons behind "mint condition pu-"!!!

The commander cuts of my, frankly, VERY understandable rant.

Hands on my shoulders. Looks me in the eyes. Will I Do This? I would have to take the knife and sneak behind enemy lines. Into the demon kings castle. And try to get the jump on him. NO ONE would be able to go after me. Help WOULD NOT be coming. If I fail... that's it. Game over. The demons would have me.

I laugh.

It is... not a cheerful sound. Not like it once was.

Is it even a choice? Of course I am. Frankly? I hope it hurts. I hope it's slow. Hurts every second and feels like eons. That he BURNS from the inside out. I'm gonna make him EAT IT.

Waiting until night would be suicide. They get stronger at night. Can blend in to the shadows. But they're cocky. They won't expect an attack just before that. So twilight is when I'll strike. Afternoon, when I head out. I... I leave my gear behind. Say my goodbyes.

I'm not the Chosen One.

Just some farmer's daughter with a grudge.

It don't think I'll be making it back. Don't really expect to even succeed. But by the gods... I plan to HURT him. Every piece we chip away, is one the soul behind us doesn't have to fight. I do this not for me. But for the child who will never know the FEAR that I did.

I will die so they don't have too.

The castle is dark. Humming with power I can FEEL but can not understand. Grand and sweeping architecture. Great windows that should let in far more light then they do. A blood red carpet upon bone white floors. The walls are black. It... some how merely stepping inside, seems to suck all color but red from the world. All heat.

I see no one here.

But I hear whispers.

I tighten my grip around the weapon. The only thing that feels WARM. These hallways are designed to make you feel small, I can tell at a glance. I refuse to give in. I am a farmer. A soldier. I do not CARE about your damn castle! I dig deep into my memories, keeping to the walls, and try to remember where the hero found her foe.

I trace the path in my head. Cut out the lost wandering as best I can. Right slightly, then forward, I think. If I am wrong, I can double back. Follow the book's path exactly. I move slow. As quite as I can.

Still... I find no one.

No servants, no gaurds, no resistance of any kind. Something like fear sighs like a specter down my spine, cold and vague. Something is not right. I do not let down my gaurd... but the longer it persists? The worse my paranoia grows.

Finally. The throne room. Magnificent beyond measure, in blood red and monochrome. Rare touches of gold glint and catch the eye. Stained glass giving it all a surreal scene from high above. The runner at my feet plush enough to render my foot steps silent. It is red... so very, very red.

The Demon King leans against one fist, resting on his throne, magnificent and beautiful like a statue brought to life. Carved of pale ivory and obsidian. Just as feeling as stone. A monster. Living testament that what's inside counts most of all. For inside him? Is nothing but a void. A malicious PIT.

I will see him dead.

On silent feet, I sneak forward. Only to freeze at the foot of the stairs to his dais, my eyes locked on his face. Horror seeps through me.

An amused smirk.

"Oh don't stop NOW, you're so close." Breaks the silence. Golden eyes open, lazy and entertained. "By all means. Try."

My grip on the dagger felt almost painful, for how hard I was gripping it. He... he wasn't even bothering to move. Didn't even see me as a threat. F..Fine. Fine then! If it was a mistake on his part or NOT, I would TAKE IT. Any chance. Any chance at ALL.

The pressure of that gaze felt immense. But I tilted my head up, put my shoulders back, and moved. One step. Then another. Up the stairs. Onto the dais. Forward, slowly. I paused, just beyond his immediate reach. Not that it was anything like real safety. I stared. Shaking. Knowing I was shaking and unable to stop.

He sat splayed. Reclined and leaning against his fist, robes rich and arranged just so. The very picture of indolent decadence. It was deceptive. I KNEW it was. A trap. But to get too him... I had to step closer. My eyes moved from the splay of his legs back up to his face. His smirk had grown teeth. I... I refused to run. I would finish this.

I stepped forward. Between his long legs, feeling distinctly like I was balanced over a bear trap, and lifted the dagger. I refused to hesitate. Wait to see if he changed his mind. I slammed it forward. Right through his heart. Glaring, as I looked him right in the eyes. The blade HISSED. Like acid meeting stone.

He laughed.

Grin full of unhinged glee, a vice in the shape of a hand clamped around my wrist, and the world SPUN. I slammed against the floor, the Demon King straddling me, at the foot of his thrown. He loomed. Behind him, above me, shown a magnificent window the lit him from behind. Like a halo.

"You didn't even HESITATE. You'd rip my heart out, if you could. Wouldn't you?" He says. Almost an whisper, nearly a groan, filthy with something that terrifies me and shouldn't BE there. "I KNEW I sensed something. KNEW you were out there."

I desperately try to push the knife deeper. Use everything I can to... to just-!

All I want... All I NEED? Is to see it come out the fucking OTHER SIDE. Please. Gods, PLEASE! End this! I'm gritting my teeth. Snarling. This BASTARD. I HATE him! I HATE HIM!

"Ah~ That's it, little one." He groans. Not even bothering to hide that he's apparently getting off on this. I'll kill him. I'll FUCKING KILL HIM! "Good~, that's right. Just like that. Give IN~♡ I'll take SUCH good care of you. I've always wanted a little pet. Focus it all on me. Give it ALL to me~"

My brain feels like it's on fire. My lungs filled with ash and flame. I hate. I hate and hate and HATE! I can't think. Something is... wrong? Wrong! The blade hurts to hold. Like it's rejecting me. No. NO! I HAVE TO KILL HIM! I may not be the Chosen One but-!

It finally becomes too much. The pain of holding the blade out weighing my hate. It's like ACID. My hand spasming away like I was trying to touch a hot stove. My palm is an ugly red. Wounded.

In one fluid movement, my wrist is released, the blade pulled free, tossed aside, and my wrist recaptured, before I can claw his fucking eyes out. I grit my teeth. Fangs grinding togeth-... wait.... what?

I stare at my hand.

At the black talon like nails where normal nails were, just this morning. And feel... horror. My... my teeth feel weird. My eyes hurt. Sides of my head too.

"Got you~"

He throws his head back in a triumphant laugh. The sound echoing like a nightmare. Even as I watch, the pigment of my skin is changing. Draining away to something even. Something almost too pale. Unnatural.

"I'm so glad you've decided to join me, darling." My hands are slammed down on either side of my head. His face inches from my. Eyes burning with something terrible. "I haven't had a bride in SO long~ following your progress has been FASCINATING. And now! Oh little thing, I get to KEEP you all to myself. Make you GOOD for me. Learn every inch of you. You should be excited, darling~"

"I'm going to make you a Queen."

[boyfhee]

FAIR AND SQUARE › lhs

SYNOPSIS › one thing about life— it's unpredictable. for example, you made a note to yourself about not associating too much with heeseung for your own peace of mind, letting him stay as the academic rival slash classmate that he is, instead of allowing him to be something more, except one thing leads to another and you find yourself face to face with the said man with your feelings all over the place. a lowkey confession leading to a mere competition, let the game begin.

WORD COUNT › 20.2k

GENRE › academic rivals / friends to lovers, mutual pinning because they're just competitive and oblivious ft in denial, fem reader, quite the 'he fell first but she fell harder' thing eye guess . . .

WARNINGS › mentions drinking, sheds light on family issues ( mostly on the reader's side ) bruise and injury, slightest of angst, arguments, suggestive ( fourth section, towards the end ) profanities, let me know if you spot more

PLAYLIST › tune in for a better experience

NOTE › i love this fic with all my heart and lungs, even more. anyway, i'm sorry to academic rivals fans, this doesn't have academic blood and gore, as quoted by my dear mai. SPEAKING OF MAI EVERYONE THANK @maiverie FOR BETAREADING THIS FIC!!!!!! im not lying when i say i wouldn't have finished writing this yesterday if it wasn't for her, like thank u for ur super helpful review that got my brain juices flowing :< luv u fr. ALSO both heeseung and reader are taking post grad course so of course, they're aged up ( no ages specified ) have fun reading.

I. BANE OF EXISTENCE

one thing about life— it’s unpredictable. 

for example, you’re in the library writing and reading papers on the topic you love, the one that you’re supposed to enjoy and the one that will become the reason behind your earnings in the near future, but here you are, sitting with a headache and a cup of coffee on the side. who knew the subject you've liked since grade one will betray you and become the potential bane of your existence? not you, surely enough. wednesday noons are for basketball matches, which explains why the library and hallways are quieter and emptier than usual. even the teachers make time for the tournaments off their busy schedules, it’s understandable— your university is known for having one of the best sports teams in the league, and the basketball team being the defending champions does nothing but fuel the pride of students and staffs as if they’re the ones on the court, trying to get the ball in the basket.

you wouldn’t say you don’t like being a part of the crowd because you’ve been to the badminton tournaments and know that watching matches is as interesting as playing, if not more. you just don’t have the time to attend any. with assignments piling up and exams ‘round the corner, you’d rather spend your last two months of the semester studying instead of yelling at the bleachers. you can always get the recordings if you ever feel like watching one, as for the results, the word goes around faster in your department than anywhere else, all because of one of the students being on the team. 

you try focusing, you really do, but your cup is just as empty as your brain and your phone is going up with notifications. you don’t see the point of miyeon spamming the gc with updates on the match when everyone in the group, except you, is with her, watching and cheering alongside. muting is a choice which you choose not to do, and the reason is between you and god, to be honest. long story short, it’s the lack of motivation clogging your thought process and the realisation that your friends are out there enjoying themselves unlike you is blocking any means of logical thinking. a day or two spent not studying wouldn’t make you fail the classes, and even if the guilt is pooling inside, you pack your stuff and walk out of the library, making your way to the indoor basketball court. 

the screams grow louder as you approach, each step reminding you that you still can go back as you choose to ignore it. exams can wait, you tell yourself, a day to myself can’t. your mother would tell you to take breaks and go out instead of studying all day, but being on top is an addiction. it’s no good, you wish other students would believe you, it’s a struggle, on the top, at the bottom, everywhere. you expect to turn a few heads as soon as you walk inside, which doesn’t happen, but you expected it. you don’t watch matches, this could easily be your third or fourth one, and the first basketball match, to be more specific. once you realise that everyone is busy watching the plays instead of noticing who comes and goes from the court, you make your way up to the one friend you manage to spot amidst the crowd— sung hanbin. indoor bleachers feel more compact than the outdoor ones. you've been to the football match last semester, courtesy of miyeon, and everything being outdoors really helps with the crowd and noise. 

“didn’t expect to see you here,” hanbin stands next to you, offering you a sip or two from his drink, which you politely refuse, eyes fixed on the court as if it was the home they’ve been searching for. “i thought you hate heeseung,” it isn’t until he takes his name that your gaze averts to heeseung. you don’t even know why hanbin would outright assume you’re here for heeseung. in fact, that man’s name didn’t even cross your mind until he was mentioned.

“hate is a big word, ‘bin,” your words are more of a whisper laced with hesitation, as if you aren’t sure of what you’re saying. hate, actually, is a very big and heavy word. despite its constant usage with your friends, you realise the weight it holds and the impact it has. hate and dislike— they’re different and yet similar enough to be used synonymously at times. not by you, of course, you have a clear distinction between the two, and as of now, you don’t know if what you feel for heeseung is a mere dislike or pure hatred. “i just don’t like him,” 

when he successfully shoots a three-pointer, you come to the decision that you definitely don’t hate him. heeseung is, more or less, the typical all-rounder straight-A student, the jack of all trades and fortunately enough, the master of all as well. he's the student teachers use as an example, the son parents wish for, the boyfriend people wished they had. lee heeseung is many things, and one of those is being the reason why you have the second highest score in your department instead of the first position, unlike how it used to be two semesters ago. 

heeseung transferred departments about thirty weeks ago, from chemistry to bioinformatics. it had been surprising on your side because not many opted for bioinformatics until they were certain of their goal. the course in itself is vast, like an ocean of several different fields and each and every one of them opens a door to a different outcome. bioinformatics isn’t something students picked overnight just because it had the vacancy and they didn’t like their initially chosen courses. as fun as the subject sounds, it demands consistency and time, something that heeseung lacks. you had seen him attend classes the first few weeks regularly, and then the ghost of him started sitting on the empty seat that belongs to him. skipping classes, arriving late, delayed submission of a couple of projects— you knew he wasn’t here to stay. it was to pass time, or whatever, you couldn’t care, didn’t care, not until he started acing the tests, practically dethroning you from your infamous ‘perfect all kill’ title that you had for getting nothing less than a perfect score, most of the time, give and take a few here and there. 

you still get good scores, amazing even, full score in theory and the same in practicals. it’s going well in lab manuals and project works but heeseung seems to get a perfect score in those too, something you started missing ever since he came into the picture. perhaps, it was something in the way he phrased his essays— you hoped it was. rumour has it that heeseung used to be a literature student, which could explain his outstanding english skills and his eloquent way of speaking. you even looked up his debate videos on youtube only to find more evidence on how skilled he is in public speaking. 

but above all, heeseung is, actually, just a really damn annoying student, quite literally the bane of your existence. he’s always set on stealing people’s spotlight during lessons, with you being the people, obviously, always answering questions with information that’s unrelated and probably even unnecessary. and for the shortest time, you even considered taking him off your ‘things i hate’ list because you were no different in highschool. when you’re the top student, it becomes a habit to talk about things as if you know them in your bones and impress teachers. hell, you even had rivals in highschool, although none of them got on your nerves the way heeseung does. basically, he has no reason to call you by weird names everytime you both pass each other in the hallways, or remind you that he’s the top student. ‘this is the vice-captain of the basketball team and the best student of the biotechnology department, lee heeseung, informing you on the up—’ seriously, no one wants to hear him introduce himself like that when you’re around. you’re pretty sure it’s engraved inside your brain with the amount of times he repeats it everyday. minjeong even says that heeseung is becoming more and more like sunghoon, and you would not know how or why because you didn’t attend highschool with sunghoon, unlike her. 

the court flares up with cheers when heeseung goes for a dunk which ultimately leads to their team winning the match, and you reach the conclusion that maybe you don’t hate heeseung but actually want to bang his head against the walls. your eyes follow him around the court, analysing his conduct during the match, the way he communicates so effortlessly with teammates using hand signs or quick phrases, the way he holds the team together when the ball is with him, despite not being the captain. heeseung might be the most unbearable person you’ve met so far, he’s actually just fine when his target is not you. you’re sure any other player is doing just as good but nothing comes close to how you see heeseung. it’s different, the light he is in, it’s unique, incredible, and inexplicably addictive. heeseung juggles between classes and basketball, you remember sunghoon talking about his part-time job when you passed by their lockers the other day. he doesn’t have it easy, you don’t either, but you had those all perfect kills by spending hours in your study while heeseung does better than you while winning matches, making money. 

it doesn’t take you long to realise that what you have for him could be dislike with a hint of jealousy, and you wonder if all the people would react the same way once they know who heeseung really is— a devil behind an angelic face, one who deliberately likes ruining things for you, as if his life depends on it. you still remember the day he personally texted you the wrong syllabus for a test, claiming that it had been updated and the professor had asked him to notify everyone. ‘and as you know, i have not been added in the group chat yet so i’m texting everyone personally,’ he had lied ever so smoothly as if his words consist of nothing but truth, as if lies are something he hasn’t even heard of. kudos to you for studying the original and correct syllabi beforehand, you still aced the test, if heeseung scoring the first rank is overlooked. 

you’re dragged back from your thoughts to the reality when a boy bumps into you while hurrying down to the players, hoping to get noticed. half of the students act like the team is actually a boy-band, you can see them on the front page of every single edition of university magazine. usually, you prefer waiting for the crowd to disperse before taking your leave from wherever you are, but a sudden reminder about the tests over text from your professor gives you a reason to leave early, all to make sure you could catch up to heeseung. you rush your way out of the bleachers once the teams start leaving the court, eyes fixed on heeseung to take a note of the direction he leaves. hanbin gives you a confused look before the words find their way out of his mouth. “where are you going?” 

“basketball shower room,” and your words could give him, and the other people who might’ve heard you, a wrong idea but you couldn’t care less. the goal was to see heeseung before he leaves the campus, which was highly likely because no one has it in them to attend four hours of classes after an exhausting match, not even heeseung, no matter how amazing he is. 

you make your way through the ocean of people, bumping into a few in the process as you make your way to the club room. a silent profanity leaves your mouth once you realise that the club room entrance might be filled with fangirls and boys, left and right, and the thought of shuffling your way out of the crowd to meet heeseung makes you reconsider your actions. heeseung might be a star student but isn’t amazing enough for you to step out of your comfort zone and do things to see him. 

“well, this is surprising,” your voice manages to turn his head towards the door. “thought you’d be busy with your fangirls, lee,” and it is surprising indeed because the hallways are unexpectedly empty with only a few people around. you would say they learnt to give the players their space after a game but that would be a lie considering the embarrassing history of students when it comes to people on the sports team. 

“they’re probably busy with jake,” heeseung responds with a smile, and even though he turns to his locker just as quickly, you could see the smile dancing on the corner of his lips. 

jake is rather a new player, a junior to be specific, and jay personally spent days waiting outside the physics department to get the guy on the basketball team. explains why he’s popular amidst students, he’s talented, good at studies— seriously, you wouldn’t understand how these people manage academics with sports. you couldn’t, and even if you managed to, you would end up passing out every few days. “does it suck to lose your fan-following to a newbie?” 

“not really. i still have you here,” heeseung wouldn’t call it ‘losing’ his fan-following because he’s using jake as bait to escape the crowd of students as quickly as possible. a junior has to make sacrifices, in this case it’s to save heeseung by sacrificing himself to the public. although, saying that he still has you looking for him even though a hundred others aren’t makes him feel better about himself. “no but seriously, what did you come here for?” 

“oh, it’s for the test on friday,” you pull out your phone, opening the group chat with the professor and the students who took the same course. it’s laughable how the universe put you in the exact same situation twice, although with the tables turned this time, and it takes everything in you to not tell him a made-up, wrong syllabi, and do what is rational. “the syllabi was extended up to chapter fourteen, till page three-ninety-seven. they sent it in the group chat this morning but i’m sure you hardly have time even to think about something else except basketball,” 

you’ve known heeseung for two semesters but that’s for the people to say. the truth is, you don’t know him outside what he shows to everyone else. you see him come and go, spot him around the bar with his friends on weekends you pass by it. you know he skips classes and asks students for notes. it’s not necessarily from you, though you’d prefer if he would ask you since you’re the best student in the whole department, after him, as much as you hate to admit it. on some days, you see him in the library, earphones plugged in. if you manage to sneak a glance or two, you’d catch him watching the match recordings and taking notes, you wouldn’t know what notes someone could take from matches. in short, you don’t know heeseung more than how everyone knows him. coming to the shower rooms and notifying him about the test might just be a discreet attempt at striking up more conversations with him, but also, you’re just fine with him being the academic rival slash classmate that he is. 

“yeah, semi-finals,” heeseung shuts his locker close, a sigh falling off his lips just like the water drops falling on his shoulder from the tips of his hair, after a shower. “doesn’t help that they’re at the same time as the quarterly assessments. thank you for telling me even though it means you’ll end up losing the first position to me once again,” and of course, the heeseung you know wouldn’t waste an opportunity to strike up a competition. it would be a lie if you claim to hate it because despite the sour look on your face, a part of you loves these little academic races with him. heeseung makes you strive to do better, he’s like the driving force you lacked which made college a whole lot better. after all, where’s the fun in getting a perfect score with the bare minimum effort, without some challenges knocking at your door? 

“what can i do, i’m all about fair play,” there’s a subtle shade behind your words, reckoning to the multiple incidents of him ruining things for you. this could take a really nasty turn if you were to resort to his ways, except you won’t because you’re better than him. “good luck, and we’ll see who loses the first position to whom,” 

heeseung wipes his hair before switching to texting on his phone, the smile still adorning his face like a jewel. you assume it’s the delight from winning a match, it’s obvious. his eyes couldn’t help but sparkle at every little achievement, always looking forward to something more, something challenging, that’s lee heeseung for you— someone who knows he has an easier way around things but would deliberately walk down another path and test his limits. shocking how it took you one basketball match to see the passion he has for things he’s interested in, that he’s more than a sport jock or a straight nerd, he’s more than someone who takes courses to pass time, more than someone who is just a show-off.

“heeseung,” the dislike, the hatred, the envy, it might all be a lie. “well played today,” because in the end, there’s a minimal possibility that you’re leaving the room with nothing but the slightest of admiration for the guy who is nothing but an obstacle between you and that first position in upcoming finals in two months. 

and it would be a lie too to claim that your words didn’t catch heeseung by surprise.

II. RIVALRY, FEELINGS, ETCETERA. 

it has been a little over one day since heeseung’s conversation with you outside the shower rooms, twenty-seven hours to be exact. twenty-seven hours of him hearing the same last words over and over again, twenty-seven hours of him failing all and any attempts at straight thinking and twenty-seven hours of him not thinking about anything except you. all of it ends up in three hours of practice and not one good shot from heeseung. the sighs and snickers from teammates fill the court every few seconds— truthfully, they never leave. heeseung is simply too lost to pay attention to them. 

“heeseung, you good?” a pat on shoulder from jake and the words following soon after manage to pull him out of his spiral of thought, even if it’s for a brief second. 

“he’s not, won’t be anytime soon,” sunghoon replies as if the answer was on the tip of his tongue, waiting to be revealed. “yn came to watch the last match, after all,” there’s a smirk on sunghoon’s face, heeseung can tell it in the intonation of his words. 

jay pauses just seconds before going for a layup, joining the conversation. “wait, she did?” 

“yep, saw her standing next to that hanbin guy or something,” 

“mate, you cannot be acting like this over a girl and that too, four days before finals,” this conversation, as a whole, is beyond jake’s comprehension. a part of the reason could be because he joined the team late, thus missing out on a huge chunk of internal jokes and gossip and goes amidst the players. and no amount of reasons can convince him into thinking that it’s fine to act out-of-character before important matches just because your crush showed up at one of your matches. 

“she’s not just some random girl. she never attends matches, but she came to watch my match,” heeseung clarifies as if the reasons behind his antics are valid and acceptable. “you wouldn’t know how i feel right now,” 

“you’re on cloud nine, we know, your crush gave you the attention you’ve been lacking but trust me, she would ignore you just as efficiently if she sees you perform like this,” 

“she’s not a crush,” and despite it being a well known fact amongst the basketball team that heeseung has a thing or two for you, he always refuses to accept it. one can say it’s the pride thing. you barely even talk to him unless it’s about studies, and your conversations are mostly along the lines of who outdoes whom in tests and assessments. moreover, everyone knows heeseung is the reason why you’re the second best student in the department— as much as you hate to admit it, again— because he transferred and flipped your world, probably even dribbled around with it like a basketball. a word goes around every few days about you glaring at him in class, which is not true, you’re instead focusing your eyes on something in an attempt to think. he just happens to sit right in front of you and be the object of focus. heeseung might as well believe that you hate him, even though yesterday’s conversation was far from how people talk when they hate each other, and his assumptions could account for the constant words of denial that fall off his lips. 

jay snickers before landing a hook successfully. “yeah, and i’m a pigeon,” 

“oh, shut it, jay,” heeseung turns to look at the other boy. “she’s just someone i admire. have you read her essays? her papers? god, we’re a year away from graduation but she’s already writing mind-blowing papers, one of them was even published in the monthly issue of some magazine. she’s already on her best performance and still tries to do better, always down to guide juniors with lab work and also is on the research team for the paediatrics department at asan medical centre. all this, and she studies all day. if i were her, i’d pass out. i can’t go a day without entering the court,” 

“and he says he doesn’t have a crush oh her,” sunghoon rolls his eyes, it’s like if he heard another line of excuses from heeseung, he could see the back of his skull and have a look at hs big, fat brain. 

“because i don’t? you guys never had someone you admired so much that they practically became your role model despite being in the same year?” unlike other things that heeseung does, calling you his role model has a reason. first, it can give him a reason to talk to you. heeseung is almost convinced that you hate him, and if this persists, it would get harder and harder for him to approach you, but with the lie— half lie— of you being his role model and so wonderful that he couldn’t help but admire you from afar while trying to overcome his social anxiety gives him a reason to talk to you. plus, it sounds plausible, he doesn’t understand why his brother says it’s bound to fail. 

the second reason and more to do with his friend group. no one in his friend circle is capable of keeping a secret— jay ends up spilling tea unconsciously, jake tells one person who he trust and that person turns out to be the most untrustworthy person ever, beomgyu, well he’s on the team but telling him would be like standing on a stage and announcing to the whole campus, and sunghoon, he’s the mother, he cannot digest food without disclosing secrets. even if it’s common knowledge that heeseung has a tiny crush on you, denying it in front of the whole campus everytime one of them brings it up helps him with his reputation and fortunately, ends up keeping it a secret. besides, he’d rather have people tease him for calling you his role model than having a crush on you. 

“i surely don’t have someone i admire to the point i read all their papers and know each and everything they’ve volunteered for,” jay argues back, set on proving his point. “tell me what am i gonna do knowing that she’s on the paediatrics research team?” 

“i think this is the most i’ve known about yn ever since classes started and that too, because of heeseung,” beomgyu chuckles, earning a side eye from heeseung in the process. 

“enough, let’s get back to practice,” heeseung intervenes in an attempt to change the topic. he does not want his closest friends making fun of him for liking someone— it’s supposed to be human nature to have a crush. 

“you get back to practice because you’re the only one fucking up because of your silly little crush. i’m done, jay, call me when we’re having a practice match because i need to attend theology or my professor would write me up,” taehyun passes the ball to sunghoon, the latter yelping in surprise at the sudden yet successful catch. 

“i don’t have a crush—”

“of course, let’s get you back to practice,” jake cuts heeseung off mid sentence, moving back to take his position as sunghoon passes the ball to heeseung, who, as expected, misses the catch due to lack of concentration.

it’s going to be a long day for the team. 

. 

. 

.

“a little birdie told me you went to see heeseung in the shower rooms?” are the words you hear as soon as your classes are dismissed, miyeon walking up to you and hanbin discussing the set of questions your professor distributed just a few minutes ago. 

“i didn’t go into the shower rooms, i was outside, near the lockers,” and there’s a difference. to be in the shower room implies you were there in the shower, which definitely gives rise to several wrong ideas of different levels. specifically, you didn’t even enter the locker room. you were outside, leaning against the door, watching heeseung as he walked freshly out of the shower, a towel around his neck, you both strike up a small talk. yeah, that was the scene, not with you in the shower and whatever miyeon’s imagination leads to after that. 

“so you did go!” she claps her hands together as if it’s a celebratory occasion, turning her head to look at the boy next to you. “what were you saying about yn not having a crush, habin?”

“it’s not a crush, miyeon,” and it’s true— heeseung is not a crush. he’s a classmate, a rival, an over-qualified and impossibly competitive student, someone you would want to take your time to study. “what, i can’t even go to tell a classmate about the updated syllabus for a test now? i would’ve done that for anyone, not just heeseung,” 

hanbin sighs, packing his bag. “sure, but he’s in the groupchat. he could’ve checked it himself,” 

“um, i doubt that,” you’re preparing a powerpoint in your head, multiple slides on why you needed to do what you did. “he’s busy with basketball and i know how he gets when the matches are around the corner. don’t you remember how he skipped two weeks of classes straight because of matches last semester? and it’s the finals this time, i don’t think he even opens texts about anything that’s not basketball. i mean, he responded to my messages six days later because he was busy with practice,” 

you say it like you’ve known heeseung for a decade and have been through the ups and downs with him. you wouldn’t care about who does what in the classes, if it’s a paper plane flying right over you, landing just second to the first row of seats or if it’s someone being brave enough and playing music during lectures. biology, in your opinion, is a subject for those who are serious about doing something unique while staying in the academic field. you don’t encounter troublemakers often, once a blue moon if the heavens make a mistake. on other days, it’s quieter than a library, emptier than cemeteries at night. 

to think your life as a biotechnology major got interesting after heeseung switched majors is astonishing and equally debatable. 

“i don’t see why i should remember all that about ‘just a classmate’ but thanks for telling,” and before you know it, hanbin and miyeon are out of the class, on their way to wherever their next stop is. seriously, they’re having it easier than you. they go to games, movies, drink on weekends— something you haven’t had a taste on ever since the year started. somewhere, you could be blamed for your hectic schedules. studies, lab work, and thesis, they suffice for all the stress a student in post graduation studies can handle. volunteering and writing papers is on you, things wouldn’t have been arduous if you had decided to move slowly, one step at a time. sometimes, the hunger for more leaves you starving— quite literally. 

you spend an hour or so in the classroom along with a few other students, going through the same old routine of yours— watch videos, take notes, transfer them to your document in your own words and make it sound as innovative and convincing as possible. heeseung would be better at this than you. you’re exhausted to the point that accepting your defeat to him doesn’t even faze you anymore. he used to be a literature student, had english as a side course as an undergrad, he’s bound to be better than making essays sound they came right out of shakespeare's drafts, phrases and metaphors that would put fitzgerald to shame. 

you didn’t care about what went down in your classes until heeseung came along. call it craziness or the weird impression you have of students in your field, heeseung is far from the typical biotechnology student aiming for a postgraduate degree. he skips classes, plays basketball as if studies are a side business, and yet still manages to ace every test like an all-rounder. he shouldn’t even be in classroom, he should be in the labs, being the most important subject of studies. there are days you think of him as a social experiment— how quickly can a robot piss off a straight-A student with its impeccable skills— of course, the subjects wouldn’t know it’s a robot but you do, you’re almost convinced he is one. there’s no way he’s the top student with the amount of effort he puts in. one would claim that he studies after classes, at home slash dorms, but you can bet your life he doesn’t. there have been numerous instances when you’ve spotted him in the background of someone’s picture at a bar. he’s always with people, he has a humongous friend group, god knows how someone can live like that. at first, you were convinced he isn’t real, as worrisome as it sounds, and if he is real then he needs to be studied. 

which leads to what you’re doing right now— making your way to the basketball court. you don’t know how or why you’re doing it. you started with your studies, ended up thinking about heeseung, and now you’re on your way to the basketball court. although, it’s not half a bad idea, now that you think about it once again. 

your mind goes all the way back to when you watched him play for the first time, which was just a day ago actually. you don’t know anything about basketball, you don’t know much about heeseung either, but there’s one thing you’re sure of— heeseung is class and heeseung on the court, they’re different. you’ve noticed the way he clicks his pen relentlessly out of nervousness when he can’t solve a question, the way his back tenses up for a fraction of a second as soon as he’s asked to explain something. you’ve seen the hints of fear in his eyes when he asked you for notes last semester just three days before exams, scared that he would fail. heeseung isn’t sure of a lot of things and basketball isn’t one of those. 

“you’re not practising?” you ask him when you swim out of your thoughts, watching him climb up the bleachers and sit next to you. the court seems much better when it’s empty, free from the loud cheers of spectators, but that could be just you. 

“i was, as you see, but i saw you up here and thought it was time for a break,” you could see his teammates shake heads at him in disappointment, proceeding to continue with their practice. “what’s up?” 

you don’t respond to him and instead, take your time watching the others practise their shots. you watch the way one of them, who you think is taehyun, goes for a dunk, credits to hanbin for telling you names for a few shots. next to you, heeseung shouts out a tip or two for the boy for him to have an easier and effective approach at the said move. heeseung is good at dunks, you’ve heard it from students, you’ve seen it in the last match as well. just one shot was enough to tell you how good he is at it, it’s like basketball flows in his veins, like he can close his eyes and still manage to get a basket. 

your eyes ghost up the court and shift to him— there’s a content smile on his face, a relaxed posture as if there’s nothing for him to worry about. he takes a sip from his energy drink, you wonder if he, or anyone from the team, even gets time to have their meals. the expression on his face, it’s something you’ve never seen on him during lessons. it takes you back to the match, how he looked on court a day before, certain of every move he made, every step, every breath, without doubts, no second thoughts. you’ve done enough lab projects with heeseung to know how his hands shake when he’s preparing a slide or extracting a sample from a centrifuge, afraid that one wrong move and he would mess up the efforts of everyone in the group. that hesitation is nowhere to be seen on the court, gone like it has never existed. as if lee heeseung, the star student and player, has never had an encounter with nervousness and hesitation in his life. there’s a thin line between studies and sport for him, you finally realise it after much consideration. maybe, you’re going beyond your boundaries and making assumptions about a guy you barely know, even if you would never voice all these thoughts to him, you think you know the reason why there’s a different him on the stage when the ball is in hands.  

“how did you realise that you like basketball? you know, like it enough to devote so much of your time and have it alongside studies?” because even if biotech is something he’s studying and wants to make a career in, you guess that it’s just a source of satisfaction. in your eyes, through your perception, basketball is what makes him truly happy. 

you don’t know why someone wouldn’t pick satisfaction over happiness, especially when it’s coming with its hands full of opportunities to grab that bag.

“eh, i don’t have a sob story about it, if that is what you’re hoping for,” he chugs down the contents of the can before crushing it to the slightest, eyes squinting at the opposite wall before they move back to meet yours. “i never had to sit and think about basketball and studies, you know, as in how am i going to manage both of them. it just happened. i started playing basketball in middle school and it has been with me ever since,” 

heeseung’s side of the story is simple— a mediocre guy who was introduced to sports by his older brother and now, it’s one of the most important things in his life. middle school heeseung preferred staying in and playing video games instead of going out. in fact, middle school heeseung resembles you in all the ways that make him different from you right now. he has been good at learning and remembering things, he takes liking to things quicker than others do. basketball was like for him— easy, quick, fun, like a way to release all the stress after a long day at school. in heeseung’s story, there isn’t a main character who helped him choose the path he’s walking right now. instead, all he had was his family who introduced him to the various aspects and opportunities, and he simply ended up joining hands with the ones he liked, deciding to not let it go before the dead end. 

“i want to have that passion for things,” a soft laughter falls off your lips, it’s an attempt to make your sob story look less pitiful. “i used to paint and play piano— but painting, mostly, was really good at it. i learnt how to draw before i learnt how to tie my shoelaces. i couldn’t go a day without painting, but then highschool happened, i had pressure to do well, expectations from friends and family, had a dream outside painting, and now, i haven’t painted in years,” 

unlike heeseung, art started as more than just a side business to you. it’s not something you were introduced to in the middle of your life but rather is something you grew up with. you can blame or credit your mother for making paintings and having them in almost every corner of your house. it’s one of the reasons why at five years old you were beyond fascinated at all the patterns and colours. no one would’ve guessed that science would manage to sweep you off your feet right from the first grade, given the way your hands danced a duet to their own melody along with a paintbrush, as if each stroke has a conscious life of its own. no one would’ve guessed that your mother would tell you to stop painting and focus on studies, neither would they have known that she would become the reason why you no longer feel the same way about art. as stated before, life is unpredictable— because no one would’ve guessed that sitting here on the bleachers with heeseung and sharing a piece of your life would water the seeds of doubts in your heart, the ones that bloom at the sight of him.

he thinks your story is sad— with all due respect, without sarcasm, of course. it’s the best he can say. “i think it’s more of a ‘connection’ thing. you think you’ve lost the connection but you simply need to pickup a canvas and some colours to relink, if you get me,” because heeseung has had somewhat of a same experience, with music, and sitting front of a piano to play one of sibelius’ symphonies after senior year highschool finals was all it took him to find his lost interest in music. even though it’s nothing more than just a hobby, even if it's just something he considers as a way to pass time, heeseung knows how it feels to let go of something that is an integral part of one’s life. 

“it has always been about timing, heeseung,” you shake your head, trying to prove him wrong using your own arguments. “you think i haven’t tried painting again? i still have art supplies stacked up in my cupboard. it’s all about timing. when you like something, you only get a few chances to make sure it stays with you for a lifetime. how many people do you know who have given up on their hobbies because they claim to have lost interest? the thing is, the interest is still there, it’s the inability and fear of not being able to do it again. if you timing is off, no matter how much you try, things won’t work, and what you love will end up becoming a closed chapter of your life,” 

a pause. he sits still, eyes admiring your face while his mind is busy replaying your words in the back of his head. heeseung wonders how valid they are when it comes to people. he likes you, despite the constant denial which is only for show, by the way. it doesn’t take a scientist to read him. reading him isn’t even close to rocket science, he doesn’t understand how you haven’t caught up even after being incredibly smart. he has seen you hang out with hanbin— heeseung hates that guy, by the way. there’s no solid logic, it’s just that hanbin seems to be around you all the time and heeseung thinks of him as a leech sucking blood off its host. heeseung would never admit but it’s just his jealousy playing tricks on him, and even though it doesn’t look like you have any romantic feelings towards that guy, it would be fucking embarrassing for heeseung lose you to a guy who isn’t even half as qualified as him. ( yes, he is judging characters based on academic qualifications, no heeseung wouldn’t explain why )

“i like you,” and so, he lets his feelings win for once, deciding to let his heart take control instead, closing doors to any room for rational thinking like it never existed. “you said it was about timing, about trying hard enough and having only a few chances, perhaps, just one bullet, and i’m shooting my shot right now. i don’t want to remember you as a closed chapter of my life,” 

it would be such a waste of chemistry if you end up becoming just a closed chapter of his life. heeseung has done his research, more like reading tons of books and watching hundreds of movies to understand the potential that two academic rivals have. no one knows this, not even his closest friends, but heeseung’s favourite genre might simply be enemies to lovers and living that trope doesn’t sound as bad when it’s with you. he has spent hours thinking about the number of productive library dates you could have, working on projects together and brainstorming about the next biggest revolution in the RDT world, changing the public’s outlook at genetics forever. it sounds stupid and makes him sound even stupider, even as a lost cause, but heeseung doesn’t care. in his mind, it’s the best date someone could have. to live and become successful together, it sounds like a perfect plan to him.   

truthfully, you have always been a part of heeseung’s future, near or distant. he always always pictures you in his life, standing next to him during graduation, bidding goodbyes at farewell, exchanging shy greetings at reunions ten years later while reminiscing about everything he did to irritate you, that would sound embarrassing a decade later. your presence will always be significant to him, he just hopes to remember you as something more than just a rival, just a classmate he never really got to know, just a person he spent his two years hating upon, just a crush he didn’t get to confess to. 

the catch— heeseung has already started picturing his future and you are not even sure of your present— and while he is looking at you for an answer, you’re lost inside your head, looking for words to articulate. 

heeseung is someone you planned to stay away from for the rest of your university life. him stepping into your life already costs you a lot, namely: dropping in ranks and losing your infamous title. his actions cost you the time you could use to study, which is actually upon you because you can simply ignore him instead of spending hours on thinking about his hows, whens and whats. heeseung was supposed to be the academic rival slash classmate that he is, instead of allowing him to be something more, but beyond rivalry, feelings, etcetera. you knew the way you felt about him, even though you couldn’t be as certain as him, or even to claim you see him the same way he feels about you.

turns out, heeseung has always been sure of certain things in his life. 

“heeseung, i’m—”

“not sure? busy? stressed? i know you have a lot of things going on right now. take your time, study for the finals, finish your papers, sort out your own issues and then come back to me. i’ll be waiting,” it’s like he’s not only good at studying but also at reading minds, because heeseung seems to have guessed a part of exactly what you’ve been thinking. call it timing, jay calls him to get back to practice just a few seconds later— a perfect excuse to leave. “looks like my break is over,” 

you sit speechless, watching him walk away like an opportunity that just walked out of your hand. it feels like a slight defeat, like a test you failed when you could've scored better, if not a full score. it's funny because this wasn't a competition, you weren't rejected, more like you rejected him, but it still feels like he has the upper hand. it's funny and equally annoying because heeseung is supposed to be nothing more than just a nobody, somebody you aren't even supposed to spare two thoughts on, but here you are sitting with the guy with your feelings all over the place. 

“heeseung,” you stand up, your voice making him turn to look at you, both of you ignoring the sight of his teammates standing motionless in their positions, too stunned at your voice reverberating in the almost empty court. “let’s do this: if you manage to stand first in the finals, i’ll date you,”

a lowkey confession leading to a mere competition. his lips morph into a smirk, the ones he'd pass you before tests, an open challenge offered directly to you. “and if i don’t?”

and you mirror the same smirk back at him, you weren't going to back off simply because it's about the person you possibly have a crush on. “i become just a closed chapter of your life,” 

let the game begin. 

III. LIAR AND THE LOVER

despite heeseung’s sudden confession, you’re doing quite well, taking it better than expected. you had your moment of confusion back when the words of proposal fell off his lips— anyone would. after all, it’s lee heeseung we’re talking about. you can only imagine the saddened faces of his fangirls once they hear about him confessing to you.  

“jay told me you made a bet with heeseung?” hanbin’s question catches your attention as soon as he steps into the cafe, managing to turn a few heads towards you in the process. 

“you know jay?” 

he sits next to you, pulling out his laptop in a hurry. you can guess it’s because of his essay that’s due before six in the evening, one he could’ve written last night instead of getting wasted at his friend’s birthday gathering. “we share history, also, that’s not the answer to my question,” 

“it’s not a bet, ‘bin,” your words aren’t half wrong. “just a silly game, y’know? i didn’t even expect him to agree,” frankly, even you don’t know why or how you came up with such a bizarre idea in broad daylight. usually, people get bouts of excitement or embarrassment while confessing or being confessed to, but in your case, you jumped over the fence and made a proposal that you have only seen in fiction. 

“nah, no way you’re setting up your whole love life for failure and calling it a silly game,” the disappointment is evident in hanbin’s voice as his fingers danced over his keyboard, typing with a speed that could leave the trains behind. well, people tend to get like that when you have an assignment due and the deadline is just a few hours to go. you guess that he’s too busy to even listen to your reasoning, which is appreciated considering you have no reasoning as for why you did what you did. 

“you made a bet with heeseung,” you turn your head around, making the boy next to you do the same in the process. it’s miyeon— you should’ve seen it coming, honestly. your actions have consequences, as always, and one of them is dealing with her non-stop interrogation as if you’re the prime suspect for some gruesome crime and every question answered wrong opens gates to capital punishment. sometimes, you wonder why she didn’t go with studying law instead. 

“how do you know?”

“everyone knows, yn. it’s all they’ve been talking about,” she sighs, sitting opposite to you while taking a look at hanbin’s laptop. “even the football fanatics are talking about attending the game, god, hanbin we better hurry that day or we’re not getting a seat,” you should’ve seen it coming, honestly. miyeon might not be the most social person, but she definitely is the most updated. nothing escapes her, every tiny incident reaches her ears one way or another, and if not, then she just finds out about it using her sources, given you don’t know about her sources. it’s one of the reasons why you’re almost convinced that she runs a shady side business alongside her career in bioengineering. 

you take a sharp breath, going through the bunch of papers arranged in your file. “it’s not that serious. he confessed to me and i said i’d date him if he manages to secure the first position in the finals as well,” 

“you did that knowing he hasn’t been studying because of games while you’re studying like your life depends on it? there’s no way he’s going to be first, and everything aside, it was a wrong fucking move to play with his feelings,” play with his feelings— a pause, you don’t like how it sounds. you’re not playing with his feelings, that’s far from what you’re doing. it’s a game, a competition, new to your friends but you and heeseung have always been familiar with it. there’s an unspoken rule to test each other’s limits. the last time you and heeseung did something like this, it resulted with you writing ‘lee heeseung is smarter than ln yn,’ in bold on a sheet of paper and putting it on the notice board for the whole campus to see. in your eyes, it's history repeating itself yet again. sure, there is something else at stake, but the rules are the same, and you don’t know why your friends are acting like you’ve done something terribly unethical. 

“no one’s playing with his feelings, miyeon, and i know for a fact he’s making time to study for finals,” you clarify your side, slight annoyance evident in your voice. “besides, it doesn’t matter. it’s not like this is serious, i only did this to buy time to figure out my feelings while the game gives me a reason to study and not get distracted. you know how i get when i lose focus,” 

that could be the reasoning behind your actions, of course. even while sitting in a cafe with your friends and having a conversation that is about to make your blood boil, you’re thinking of heeseung in the back of your head. his words play over and over again like a broken record player, the image of him on court or studying pops up in your mind every now and then. obsession is a disease and you have it bad. it’s crazy to be thinking about someone so much without being absolutely floored for them. 

“so you’ll date him despite the outcome?” hanbin drags you out of the well of your thoughts, a question that leaves miyeon flabbergasted. 

“if i manage to figure out my feelings then of course,” a chuckle falls off your lips. “i’m telling you guys, it’s not that serious. i’m sure he knows it too,” and you’re really confident about this— it usually never ends on a good note. 

“and if he doesn’t? what if it’s serious for him? yn, you never know how one thing might affect someone, and feelings are not something to gamble on. you should’ve told him you need some time to think instead of giving him a false hope or whatsoever,” it’s now that you start having second thoughts. the next two hours go by amidst silence, a few small talks blooming here and there, but dissolving just as quickly within the ticking clock of deadlines for assignments and exams. 

it doesn’t take a scientist to know when miyeon is upset, for she isn’t the best at masking her emotions. through the sneaky glances at her that you’ve stolen over time, you can tell she’d rather spend the evening in silence than talk to you, which is a challenge with herself because she’s really talkative. it takes two to sing a duet, two to play and game, two people to make a relationship work. heeseung and you— the two of you are enough to make decisions for yourselves, decide what’s right and wrong and, something about miyeon questioning your choices doesn’t sit right with you. 

too many cooks spoil the broth, it’s the principle of your life, the words you’ve been following to this date. it was your decision to have a few friends instead of a fifty— quality over quantity, as one might call it— and there has never been a moment when you regretted having a handful of people to call friends. instead of consulting too many people about your major in university, you simply went with what your parents and homeroom teacher suggested. life has been good so far. the more the better is something that isn’t applicable in your case. instead of telling everyone about your dilemma regarding heeseung, you decided to keep it to yourself, eventually opening up to heeseung when the time comes. you’re doing just fine on your own, it doesn’t make sense to you why a third person’s opinion is making you doubt your decision making abilities that you’ve been so proud of. 

this is not a gamble, you tell yourself, it’s a fair play. you gave him options, he made the choice, it’s consensual. you didn’t force him into this game, he didn’t pressure you to respond, it’s a harmless competition that’s bound to have a positive outcome. you even spend a good fifteen minutes wondering if you should go back to heeseung and take it all back in case he finds it insensitive to put his feelings on the line. doing it in person seemed impossible so you resorted to texts, typing and deleting your message before giving up altogether. in your head, this was an okay decision. a sweet confession, a person with unsure feelings, a harmless competition. 

you hope it doesn’t backfire ten times worse. 

. 

. 

.

three days later, you find yourself on the way to basketball club rooms once again. you checked the court, it was empty, and your only option was to check the club slash locker rooms if you wanted to see heeseung. okay, first things first, you don’t miss him— maybe a little, but it’s because you miss hearing his weird ass answers in class even though they’re right. heeseung just has an unique approach to things, in other words he simply knows how to buy time and go in detail about things he’s an expert at to impress the professors. however, that doesn’t seem to be the case for him because he has approached you six times in the past three days, asking if you’re free to hangout. 

you like to think he misses you or that his requests were because he wanted to make sure you don’t study and lose to him, either could be true. knowing heeseung, he’s capable of going both ways. whatever may be the reason, you turned him down all six times, and it’s not because you have something against him— of course, you don’t. that’s common knowledge by now— your reason for not hanging out with him is studies, as expected of you honestly. the bet aside, you had way too many chapters to learn before exams and all heeseung ever does is take up your headspace everytime you sit down with your books spread open. avoiding him in thoughts wasn’t possible so avoiding him in person was your last straw. 

which leads to the present : you rushing to heeseung, again,  not because you miss him but because you need his help, though one of the reasons could be that you feel bad for turning him down six times. you can hear muffled laughter from a distance as you approach the club rooms, a bang against one of the lockers, a loud profanity that follows afterwards. their humour is beyond your level of understanding. 

“heese— oh, um—” you greet and turn away just as quickly when you realise that one of them is shirtless. it’s obviously heeseung, you can’t mistake his face for someone else. and you’re guessing he’s the last one to come out of shower because everyone else is dressed, maybe he’s someone who likes to take his time showering— you seriously need to stop thinking before your imagination goes bonkers. “sorry, can you come outside for a second when you’re ready?”

another round of laughter follows, more like teasing remarks because you can swear you heard a few of them refer to you as his girlfriend, and it gets you a little flustered, you won’t lie. you even hear one of them yell ‘ooh, get it, heeseung,’ as heeseung walks out, fixing his t-shirt, responding back with his middle finger up at whoever made the comment. 

“hi,” his voice isn’t much louder than a whisper, eyes fluttering between you, the floor, and his teammates who pretend to not look when you peek inside. there’s a soft smile on his face— it’s cute, you think, and then rethink what you just thought. heeseung is, well, not cute— usually. he’s good-looking, handsome, hot, sexy, even, since you’re on the topic of finding adverbs that suit heeseung. cute is rarely one of them, you don’t think you’ve seen him as flustered as he is right now— rubbing his nape, a tint of pink on his cheeks, avoiding eye-contact— that’s far from the heeseung you’ve been seeing for past two semesters. 

“hi, can you send me the pdf of the extra set of questions that prof sent last week? i think i accidentally deleted it while clearing up my storage,” you get straight to the point, trying not to waste much of your precious time. “i could’ve texted you but figured you’d be too busy with practice to check messages,” you remember what happened last time; he took six days to reply to your texts. you’re quite a patient person otherwise but in this case, you’re in dire need of questions to practise for tomorrow’s mock. 

“ah, sure, give me a minute,” and he pulls out his phone, scrolling through an ocean of files and documents to look for the one you need. you do think he’s gorgeous though, it’s a well known fact that he’s stunning, but you think this look of heeseung surpasses the other ones quite easily— hairs wet after shower, partially covering his forehead, a white t-shirt that’s slightly wet near the shoulders because of the water dripping down— you wish he’d at least dry his hair before catching a cold. “actually, i would have replied to your texts if you had— oh, yes, there you go. do you want me to email it to you or…?”

“oh, just texts would be fine, thank you,” 

“done,” a pause, you feel his eyes on you as you go through the pdf to take a brief look at the contents. “do you want to go for a walk? or are you getting back to studies?” at this point, you’re sure that question is a way to tease you about your obsession with studies. heeseung may think you’re overdoing it because you want to win, but it’s no more than the normal amount of hours you spend studying. he never paid you any attention to care about that. 

“no, i’m done for today, actually,” and that’s a big fat lie considering you were planning to solve some questions and revise two chapters before leaving the campus, but it’s fine. you feel bad for rejecting him six times either way. 

never in your life did you imagine that you’d be going on a walk with heeseung. it’s nothing serious, you just didn’t think there would be a day where you two would have normal people conversation while doing normal people activities instead of trying to disparage each other based on grades and academic performances. to think about it now, heeseung isn’t half bad, it was all in your head. it’s not like you had vile assumptions about him, you did find him annoying and way too prideful— anyone like him would be, actually, and heeseung is still quite humble about his achievements because if it was someone else, they sure would have made it everyone’s problem. 

actually, heeseung is insufferable as well. you remember your first encounter with him, first and so far, the worst— in the laboratory. you and heeseung sat next to each other and when the professor asked him to briefly explain his experiment, you realised it’s oddly similar to yours. you had accused him of cheating, like any sane person would, which led to him getting two scores less than a perfect. he only lost one score because of you, actually, and that too because you were professor’s favourite and heeseung was new to the department. the other score, you don’t know where he missed, but that incident led to heeseung deleting your powerpoint thirty minutes before your presentation, which led you stealing his notes and selling it some junior through an undercover twitter account, which led to the professor asking you to help him with notes before exams, and everything ultimately led to the realisation that heeseung is actually quite decent if you behave with decency as well. the give and take is serious for him, because he gave you notes and so, you had to take his offer of going on a walk. even though it seemed like you had a choice, a part of you knew it was a mirage. you would’ve ended up on a walk with heeseung one way or another. 

“i come here whenever i’m tired or just not feeling well,” he says and you wake up from your daydream of memories you shared with heeseung. the way he phrases his words makes it sound like he has brought you to one of his most secret locations, one that no one knows except taehyun, probably, considering they’re close friends, but in reality, it’s the playground you pass by every single day on your way from your apartment to university. 

“oh, are you okay? are you nervous for tomorrow’s match?” you continue, deciding you shouldn’t ruin his favourite place for him. honestly, no one would’ve guessed that lee heeseung would come to a children’s park on bad days. 

“actually, this walk was for you, you looked like you’d pass out if you spent another hour in front of books,” and you’re done, standing speechless with your eyes wide open at his words that he says with a victorious smile on his face. “you should start taking breaks, yn. it’s not a bad thing to go home earlier when you’re tired,” 

he’s right, oh, you know he’s absolutely right about everything he just said, from passing out to going home. a part of him probably even feels glad to have you out on his little walk with him, you’re getting your well deserved rest, thanks to him. heeseung might even ask if he can walk you home considering you’re ‘done for today,’ which is very thoughtful of him— but what does this make you? a liar? miyeon was right, you’re gambling, even though it’s not that serious. so far, you’ve lied about being done with your studies and the bet you made with heeseung because at this point, it’s more like a prank, except it’s not funny and that it might end up with him getting upset with you because tomorrow is basketball tournament’s finals and you’re here wasting his time, all because you lied. 

a liar and a lover, on a date at children’s park— match made in theatre club, you’d say. 

“are you sure this is not your way to manipulate into not studying and losing to you, just so you can date me?” you try to play it cool, knowing very well that it can be one of his tricks or whatsoever. after all, it’s the same heeseung who made you trip in front of your class just three days after being transferred. 

“i was being genuine but it doesn’t sound like a bad idea,” of course, it doesn’t. he gets to win, after all. “can i walk you home?” just as you had guessed. 

“i would love to go home but my bag is still in the library,” you had considered taking it with you, actually, but dismissed the thought once you realised you had to come back to the library and continue with your studies. albeit, you’re not studying, that’s on you for lying into oblivion and giving into his requests.  

once again, you two are back to walking, this time back to the university campus. it’s nice, having a walk with heeseung, it’s sweet, slow, comforting, like slow music flowing around and engulfing you in its arms. the unsaid words are weighing on your shoulders, you can feel the pressure, but it’s not awkward. above the busy hustle of the city and blaring horns, it’s a quiet world with heeseung, it’s nice, like a warm hug after a long day. you didn’t think you had it in yourself to spend a minute next to him without overthinking and possibly starting a banter. you didn’t think heeseung had it in him either, to make a walk feel so close to home.  

“so, how are you coping knowing you’re going to lose once again?” and, it’s back again. everything is a hoax actually— his looks? a trap. his smile? a trap. it’s all a facade because once he opens his mouth, nothing but horseshit comes out of it. 

“very well, in fact, because i know i’m the one getting that first spot this time,” call it overconfidence but you really do think you’ll get your title back this time. you’ve been studying well and hard enough, solving questions and going through every extra set of notes and exercises your professor sent. although, you would claim to beat heeseung had you been prepared or not because it’s fun messing with him. 

“i’d rather have you show some mercy, in that case,” before you know it, you’re already standing in front of the library. “academic defeat and a heartbreak, it already sounds painful. i hope you go easy on me,” it’s sarcastic, of course, all these saccharine words of confessions made you forget how he is under the layers of smiles and winks that adorn his face. a session full of silence follows, the comforting tranquillity morphing into something tensed as he steps closer, your breath getting caught up in your throat as your mind dysfunctions— it’s the effect he has. 

“heeseung,” you put a finger on his lips— the only thing between him and you, the only thing helping you stay sane and composed at the moment, because only you know the struggle of pulling yourself together while standing inches away from heeseung as he grabs your wrist and plants a soft kiss on your finger before removing it from his lips. 

“why, that’s unfair. you get to see me anytime you want while i have to wait because you’re busy studying, you even get to see me shirtless, and i can’t even get a kiss?” and you hate the look in his eyes, you hate how close he is standing and how it makes your heart go crazy. this isn’t even the beginning and you hate how you feel like you’ve already lost, and you hate how confident he is with every breath he breathes against your lips. “just kidding, see you tomorrow,” 

and you hate how this is where you realise that you’ve fallen deep, and you’ve fallen hard. 

IV. PLANET TO A SUN

heeseung has been thinking about the walk for an hour and twenty-seven minutes— actually more, ever since the moment he got home last night, but that is how long he has been practising for, eyes on the ball but mind revolving around you like a planet to a sun. you had texted him about a rule this morning— no kissing before finals. actually no kissing before we start dating, lee— your exact words. they have been holding him back from thinking straight, even made him practise an apology while looking in the mirror if in case his actions offended you in any way. lost in thought, heeseung manages to get another shot in. that’s twenty-third in a row ever since he stepped on the court, which is unbelievable, even for him. 

“is it just me or did heeseung’s performance improve overnight?” jake looks up at jay, fastening his shoelace, a chuckle escaping his lips that goes unnoticed. 

the latter offers a hand to jake, helping him stand as they share a laugh before jay passes him the ball. “well, of course it will. he has to impress his girlfriend today at finals,”

“she’s not my girlfriend,” heeseung grunts almost as if hearing you and the word girlfriend in the same sentences cuts ten years from his lifespan. he knows it doesn’t, he’d kill to call you his’. the reason behind his edgy behaviour is your text and the weird rule you’ve inserted in an already weird bet— it’s not like he minds it, the bet, obviously. heeseung definitely minds not getting to kiss you for the next few weeks. 

“yet,” jay clarifies, emphasising enough for the world to understand that his words are supposed to be in italics. “she will be if you score more than her in finals, which i don’t think is possible because unlike you, she has been studying all day everyday. i don’t know how she’s still alive,” and jay isn’t half bad student himself. juniors in business have his name residing on the tips of their tongues. he simply thinks you’re a freak for being in no clubs and not participating in anything that doesn’t involve studying. 

“she’s the top student for a reason,” jake adds. 

“i am the top student,” and hearing his friends call you the top students hurts heeseung’s ego a little bit. crushes aside, you’re his rival before his girlfriend, and you’re not even his girlfriend. you’re basically just a rival. “also, it’s not hard to study all day if you’re used to it,” 

and jay scoffs in disbelief. “right, you would know something about it, lee i can’t go a day without playing basketball heeseung,” 

“hey, everyone,” your voice reverberating in the court is what stops heeseung from responding to jay with a snarky remark. “just wanted to wish you all goodluck. i really hope you guys win the tournament or else, it’s going to be hard for heeseung to deal with two loses after i beat him in finals as well,” 

heeseung rolls his eyes in disbelief, you hear taehyun exclaim that he has been team yn since the very first day, a claim that few others proceed to back up, especially sunghoon, with his own lore of how he prays everyday for you to win the bet with heeseung. you’re honoured to receive such support, to some extent. a part of you still wishes for the whole thing to be a secret restricted to just heeseung and you but again, it was your fault for placing bets in court, in front of the entirety of the basketball team to witness, even their coach. 

“you’re a little too confident, don’t you think so?” he smirks, taking a few steps towards you with the ball supported between his arms and torso. “let me know where you’d like to go for our first date,” and it turns out heeseung is just as confident about winning the bet as you, perhaps even more. you are not surprised, being defending champions does that to people, or so you believe.

“mhm, let’s have you score a date first, lee,” you would have loved to talk more but decide to bid your goodbyes as soon as hanbin’s message pops up on your phone, the little scowl on heeseung’s face going unnoticed the moment he sees his name on your phone screen. heeseung would never in his wildest dream confess to being jealous— it doesn’t even make sense for him to be jealous of hanbin because he confessed to you, and you seem to like him back. his worries are pointless just like the useless art projects his art teacher used to assign in middle school. 

your fingers dance on the keyboard of your phone as you reply to hanbin, the subtle taps synchronous with your steps with you rushing across the quadrangle, taking the nearest flight of stairs to the library. you wanted to spend the day at your apartment since classes are suspended for the rest of the day on account of the match. however, hanbin managed to convince you into coming to the library to help him with a few assignments here and there. you’re not opposed to studying on days-off, in fact you think it’s better since you get all twenty-four hours to yourself instead of investing any of it in classes. the match gave you an excuse to call in for a break, or an excuse to take your time choosing the outfits as if you’re the main character on such a big day. 

the librarian gestures to you to slow down the moment you almost avoid slipping on the tiled floor, in the process of holding the door frame to stop yourself, an embarrassed apology makes its way from you to her as you spot hanbin in the further corner with his airpods plugged in. your first instinct is to scare him from behind but the thought leaves your mind as soon as you remember that you’re in a library, and getting kicked out on a day that has been treating you well so far doesn’t sound so smart. 

so, you settle with approaching normal, instead of pulling random stunts, pulling out the chair opposite to him quietly to not make any sounds, mumbling a soft ‘hi’ as he takes out one of his airpods. “where’s miyeon?” 

“sick, she’s skipping today’s match as well,” hanbin replies, eyes fixed on the notes he's copying from the laptop to loose sheets of paper, before looking up at you with another question on the tip of his tongue. “are you two still not talking?” 

“we did, none of us brought up what happened that day, though,” you shrug as if it doesn't bother you anymore, as if you don't want it to bother you more than it already does.

miyeon and you have known each other since university, she was a senior in undergrad course who was forced by financial circumstances to skip one academic year, thus rejoining in third year along with you and hanbin. seeing her was less frequent while she was still a senior, although you're not sure if you've spent more than three days away from her ever since postgrad school started. a heavy tension masks all your conversations with her, over texts or in person, and even though you're trying to act like the small talks with her don't hurt you, a part of you is starting to miss the best friend you used to talk to all night, about wasted matters and sharing useless gossip.

silence fills in for the lack of words between you and hanbin and you allow it to do so, deciding not to disturb the decorum of the library anymore. you scroll through your phone mindlessly, there’s nothing to look at except people going crazy about the evening's match. you even manage to stumble upon a thread of arguments featuring students of your university and the one the team is going against. it’s all empty threats, seriously, ‘kys’ and ‘ur mom’s in my bed’ aren’t even insults at this point. they’re funny, sometimes, but you’ll never understand why or how they ended up being insults. ( honestly, you don’t see the potential ) 

“are you serious about heeseung?” a crack in the ice, hanbin's question catches you off guard, with a number of questions running back and forth in your mind before you settle with the one to respond with in return.

you blink in confusion. “i guess so, why?” 

“nothing, it’s just i never expected it to be him, y’know, considering your history,” you think it's unavoidable, questions along these lines, they would've been asked sooner or later. truthfully, even you didn't expect yourself to fall for heeseung.

your history, what even is there to call history except blood and war? both you and heeseung have been up each other's neck from the moment your gazes collided. it sounds like a stupid beef between highschool students, almost embarrassing now that you both are nearing post graduation. with all the days that you’ve spent thinking about ways to get on his nerves, or worse— ruin his projects, it wasn’t just you who resorted to ruining each other’s hard work— no one would have known you and heeseung would ever end up on this note, with him chasing you and you pinning for him, all under the blankets of a silly bet.

“well, as i always say, hanbin, life is unpredictable,” there’s a smile dancing on your lips, a dazzling hint of factuality in your eyes. “besides, he’s a nice guy behind all the annoying things he does. i think he's pretty serious about me, or us, too,”

hanbin has noticed the way you smile at your phone. it doesn’t always happen, only when you’re talking with miyeon or a few friends from highschool, now heeseung ranks up on that list as well. he’d be lying if the uneasiness doesn’t bother him, it’s bound to surface when he remembers all the nights you spent complaining about heeseung. actually, the rant session included hanbin, you and miyeon, but she would rather go to sleep than listen to you complain like a child for hours on roll, leaving you and hanbin driving the conversation. he has lost count of the amount of times you’ve ended up crying in the process, or the amount of times he has hung up on you only to show up at your place late at night to make sure you’re doing okay, and the nights you two have spent watching movies and falling asleep on the couch, followed by the mornings gone by with miyeon being salty over the fact that none of you invited her to your impromptu nightover. 

the thought of heeseung confessing to you still surprises hanbin, it’s one of the things he deemed as impossible since forever. and he can go, warn heeseung about hurting you, dropping all sorts of threats at the boy. hanbin can go on for hours about how he would make heeseung’s life a living hell if he ever broke your heart. he can prove the righteous friend that he is, but at the end of day, he would always be the third person between you and heeseung. hanbin can only assume so much about you two, not even sure if all of it is right. he can only wish so much for you to have eyes for someone else. 

and so, all he does is shoot a smile at you. “i hope he is,” 

. 

. 

.

the only time you step out of the library is exactly three hours and thirty three minutes later, to sprint towards the basketball knowing that you absolutely cannot afford losing seats in the first two rows. fortunately, or unfortunately enough, you’re not the only student going crazy about the game. you can swear at least a dozen came out of the library right after you, even though all of them may not attend the game.

you’re already running late— well, still twenty minutes early but that doesn’t give you much time to meet the team and secure the front row seats. and meeting the team is an excuse, let’s be honest. you want to meet heeseung, have a quick private talk, kiss him good luck, you don’t know; you wouldn’t. your head is in a mess, behind you hanbin is yelling for you to slow down as you run down the stairs. half of you is worrying about seats and the other half is wording her sentences out for you to say when you meet heeseung, and the team. you can wish them all the luck in the world, after all, it’s the university team and you would love to see them win. the whole craze about sports doesn’t feel real and worth the hype but things start coming full circle when you’re the one watching. slowly, as one would expect, but you are starting to understand why everyone goes bonkers during tournament season. 

“damn, slow down,” hanbin huffs, grabbing your arm for you to slow down. “it’s not like they wouldn’t start without you,” 

“that’s the problem. what if they start without me?” but your legs wouldn’t rest before arriving at the court. you know your words sound funny, painting you as if the result of today’s match depends on you. it feels crazy to be this excited about a mere basketball match, nonetheless you know it’s not the match you’re actually looking forward to. “besides, i’m more worried about seats,” 

“i asked hao to save two for us. he’s friends with heeseung, i think he will do that much for his friend’s girlfriend or whatsoever,” you see him roll his eyes at his own words, proceeding to slide his hands into yours before continuing on your way to the venue, this time a little slower. 

you have heard about hao from hanbin and miyeon a few times. he’s pursuing a masters in music, wants to teach violin professionally according to hanbin. miyeon has even attended one of his recitals last autumn, something from sibelius, if you remember correctly. he is popular, and you see the depths of his popularity as soon as you spot him on the bleachers, surrounded by people left and right, one of them trying to grab a seat next to him before he points at you and hanbin, and the crowd goes mild, ultimately dissolves as the players step in. 

“i didn’t know heeseung had a girlfriend,” you don’t know what you were expecting, perhaps a few words of greetings, hi’s and hello’s since you two are meeting for the first time. anything, except that question. 

“believe me, i didn’t either,” and why even is heeseung going around telling everyone that you’re his girlfriend?        

the court breaks into cheers as soon as the game commences and yet, it feels a little quite. perhaps, it’s miyeon’s absence getting to you. had it been her next to you instead of hanbin and hao— who are busy amongst themselves by the way, talking about anything but the match— she would’ve been eating snacks non-stop, giving you a little talk on every player, like a resume. it’s take her fifteen minutes to give you summaries on players from each team, their achievements, girlfriends and probably even mothers, who knows. although, you haven’t attend many games with miyeon to pinpoint every good and bad thing about her impromptu presentation, her unofficial commentary helped you sit throughout the match. it feels incomplete without her, not just the game but days in general. it’s definitely her absence making your surroundings feel quieter. 

so, long story short, you don’t have a clue of what’s happening. well, you do, a little. you know what a dunk and a three pointer is besides the names of players on your university team, but that basically sums up your knowledge about basketball. all sorts of voices are mingling in the air but you’re busy following the ball around the court with your gaze, occasionally cursing and clapping when the team misses a close basket or scores a comparatively difficult basket. the tension between the two teams keeps rising as the game continues. you notice sunghoon groan in disappointment as one of the players from the opposite team gets in a banked shot from the wings, scoring two points for the team. a part of the crowd goes quieter at jay’s failed attempt to save the score for his team, beomgyu patting on jay’s back while muttering something along the lines of ‘good job.’ involuntarily, your eyes travel to heeseung, whose expression stiffens at the sight of the scoreboard displaying a two-point lag.

a time out call follows as the players move back to their respective ends, and it physically hurts you to see the difference in atmosphere between the two teams, or the frowns on the faces of players on your university team. for a second, you even consider walking down to them as they gather around the coach, grabbing water bottles and towels while nodding at the coach’s words between heavy breaths. you catch jake looking in your direction for a brief second, a smile makes its way to your lips before he responds with one as well, proceeding to nudge heeseung’s arm and pointing in your direction. his actions are left with no response— it hurts a little, although you are aware that anything else falls after winning the match on his priority list— and they get back on the court as the game resumes. 

“they need to catch up soon,” hanbin mutters, taking a look at the clock. and even if it’s just a two point difference, you’re starting to understand why it creates a huge gap. it’s almost like scores on a test. going from eighty-three to ninety then hundred is easier than going from ninety-eight to hundred. greater differences are easier to overcome; for you have so many rooms for improvisation and thus, so many chances at closing the gap. the closer you are to a perfect score, the narrower are the chances and it’s almost impossible to pin-point and work on every single weakness of yours within those two points. you’re pretty sure your words would hardly make sense to anyone else, but nonetheless you understand why everyone on the court looks more attentive, probably like meerkats on the lookout for preys and predators. 

much to your disappointment, the play continues with the rivals dominating the court, giving low to zero chances for the opposition to get their hands on the balls. you even see a few of them trying to provoke heeseung, the latter trying his best to not react but you’re afraid he would start throwing punches if another one of the players passed by him with his middle finger up heeseung’s face. one of them, who you assume is the captain judging from the way he has been directing his team, goes in for a hook, immediately getting blocked by taehyun as the court bursts into loud cheers once again. 

“that was a little too far for a hook,” hao comments, and you nod as if you understand his words and know exactly how a hook is supposed to be. you didn’t even know about a hook until now, and you’re still not sure what it is since all the shots look almost the same to you. 

from that second onwards, it felt as if the control transferred to heeseung’s teams as they transition quickly from defence to offence, making quick passes and running the court, practically catching the opposite team off guard. jay passes the ball to jake, who takes a leap from half court, driving towards the unguarded basket. a quick layup using the backboard, as you hear hanbin name the shot, and basically everyone runs to jake for scoring two points for the team as the scoreboards displays a sour tie. it’s a seemingly easy match after that, especially when the players look like they’re back into the game. sunghoon passes the ball to heeseung who goes for another layup and fails, much to his despair, before going in for a dunk and scoring yet another basket for the team, leading it by two points. you see him passing a cocky smirk at the player from before as jake pats him in the back with heeseung almost stumbling in the process. 

heeseung shoots you a wink before focusing on sunghoon’s words as they get back into position, and even amidst the butterflies you got by his recent actions, you don’t miss the way he stretches his fingers, ring-finger specifically, pointing something about the movements to jay before getting his focus back to the game; and you just hope it isn’t what you’re thinking it is. 

it’s a slow game after that, no points scored, four fouls with two of them back to back, one by each team respectively. the frustration increases on the court, evident in each step taken by the players, groans and sighs fill the atmosphere and get louder than the cheers that have gone quieter once again. it isn’t until a few minutes later that all the players run to the front court as soon as they see an opportunity for a fast break with taehyun taking the lead, passing the ball to jay just a few seconds after, who passes it to heeseung— and call it the lack of efficiency or bad timing, heeseung bumps into one of the players from opposite team, an uneven balance, and falls directly on his right knee, as one of the opposite players throws the ball off-bounds to stop the play. 

the medics take him to the benches, bringing ice packs and everything else before escorting him inside. you considered following him inside before hanbin tells you that the officials aren’t letting anyone meet him, probably until they receive updates of his situations. you bite the inside of your cheeks in nervousness, palms sweating as if you’re about to appear for an exam you weren’t informed about until five minutes ago, or maybe it’s even worse. the murmurs from the crowd or the group of girls behind you, to be more specific, do nothing but make you feel more anxious. zhang hao, being a sports medicine student, tries to give you an insight on heeseung’s injury, telling you that even if he fell directly on his knee and it could result in a patella fracture, or perhaps just dislocation— words that compel you to yell at him to shut up before he ensures that heeseung will be fine. hanbin does that for you, noticing your slightly panicked state, telling hao to talk about anything but anatomy of how badly a simple injury can affect a player, and when sunghoon and taehyun return to the officials with an update on heeseung and a pale face, you knew you had to run to your heeseung as if it’s the end of the world. 

“heeseung,” you breathe out, stepping aside to let the nurse from the infirmary leave before you walk closer to him. the awkwardness between you and other players, namely jay, jake and beomgyu, besides the coach, rings all the bells to remind you that coming here was probably a bad idea. well, of course, you like heeseung and are worried for him, but the tension in the air makes you feel like you showed up uninvited. “are you okay?” 

you ask nonetheless, voice close to a whisper, as you stand at a distance, looking at the bruise on his knee. the smell of antiseptic spray fills your lungs, nose scrunching at the way you could almost taste the diclofenac at the back of your mouth. 

“not really,” he inhales sharply, exhaling a reply once everyone left, knowing they had a game to get back to. “look at you, are you worried for me?”

“i’m regretting coming here now,” liar. and then you let the silence carry the conversation with itself for the next few minutes. you don’t know what to say— what can you say? all you do is sit next to him, hands brushing against his as his winces at the slightest touch. heeseung opened his mouth to say something before dismissing his words with a heavy sigh the very next moment. you almost hold his hand— almost, thinking of holding it ever so carefully as if it’s glass with thousands of cracks, and then you’d kiss it ever so delicately, you did it— almost, but then, it’s just you getting upset over the fact that he played even after hurting his hand.

“so, they’re benching you,” you say in an attempt to strike a conversation, a little conflicted with your choice of words, wondering if he even wants to hear about something related to the match at the moment. 

“of course,” he says it like a matter of fact, a fact whose impact doesn’t seem to touch him. “please tell me they have jeno substituting for me. i’ve barely been getting updates in the group chat,” the least he expected was for one of the substitute players to keep him updated about the game through texts, and heeseung planned to get back to the court until you showed up, taking a seat next to him on the benches in the locker room. you don’t understand why they didn’t take him to the infirmary, and decided to think it’s because locker rooms are closer and if there’s anything heeseung should not be doing right now, it’s moving his injured leg. 

you shrug. “i don’t know, i’ll ask hanbin,”

“thanks,” and even though heeseung isn’t really fond of your friend for reasons that are widely known, at least amidst his friend group, he really hopes hanbin is of some use. 

it’s quiet now. you can hear faint cheers buried in the layers of walls and rooms that stand between the court and the locker room, a few muffled footsteps filling up any spaces left in the air, here and there. you assume it’s his fans trying to check up on him, as annoying as it sounds to you for you’d rather have this moment with him all to yourself. you hear him sigh heavily once every few minutes, trying to ball his injured fingers up in a fist to allow the slightest of moments and ensure healthy circulation, a soft hiss leaving his lips at the sensation of striking pain shooting up his nerves. unlike heeseung, your attention shifts to his injured knee with a faint chill running down your spine as you look at his bruise, which now looks more bluish than it was when you had arrived, signifying the possibly alarming amount of blood that has now clotted in the tissues. 

“you can cry,” nudge him with your shoulders and heeseung directs you to the most disgusted face in return. “what? it’s the finals and you’re injured so you won’t be able to play today. any normal person would sob their eyes out,” 

“i’m not a kid, yn,” he nudges back, a chuckle slipping off his lips. 

“trying to act all cool but you’re probably going to cry yourself to sleep for days, or even weeks,” he holds out his hand for you to hold it as you stand up, an action you give into without opposition, intertwining your fingers with his. there’s a smug smile on your face and he sees it as well, although only you know the way your heart is somersaulting at the way your hands fit his’ like pieces of a puzzle. “i know what you are, heeseung,”

he scoffs at your words, hands still entwined, a lovesick glow in his eyes— it’s your first time seeing this side of him, you’re glad to be one of the people to see it. silence has never felt so comfortable to you. the distant noise from court feels like it rushed on its way to you and heeseung, and stopped at the doors, as if you two are beyond its reach. you might never say it to him, but everything seemingly ceases to exist when you’re with him, and the world feels timeless. it’s embarrassing, cringe, and it’s making your heart beat faster with the way he looks at you. “you need to shut up,”

“make me?” a quick response, one that was supposed to be a joke, a joke which was supposed to be accompanied by laughter and brushed off as another baseless comment, but another second passes as you continue to look into his eyes, and you realise you’re actually considering it— leaning in towards him while giving his hand a light tug to pull him towards you the slightest, your other hand cupping his face as your gaze ghosts up his eyes and settles on his lips. when it comes to him, rationality is out of the window and your lips are on his’ planting the softest kiss at the corner of his mouth before pulling away like nothing ever happened.  

a pause; you could hear the silence ringing in your years, eyes fixed over him as if you’re spilling all your secrets to him, waiting for him to take a hint. “what even happened to the ‘no kissing before finals’ rule?’”

and you realise you had actually forgotten about it, for better and never for the worse, because as you said and as he repeated, it’s all about timing. empty locker rooms, quiet hallways with not a soul around, your hand in his, his eyes on you— the timing couldn’t be better, and you know better than messing up and letting heeseung become just a closed chapter of your life. “yeah, i could care less about that,”

there are a lot of things you could care less about, like the cold metal that stings against your back as he pushes you against the lockers, or the fact that anyone could walk in, any minute; you don’t care, don’t know. his lips are on yours and his hands are on your waist, it feels euphoric the way his lips move in synchrony with yours, fitting like puzzle pieces. heeseung tugs you closer by your waist, a faint gasp escaping your mouth that dissolves immediately into your breaths mingling together. it’s intoxicating and is making you go insane, the way he manages to sweep you off your feet with the smallest of actions and simplest of words— from the very first day. 

heeseung was right, and you as well, it’s all about timing. from the day you first looked at him in a seminar, to the day he switched to biotech— you plan on asking him why because so far, all your guesses seem implausible— down to the day he confessed, leading up to this moment with you pressing against the lockers and his lips against against yours. heeseung sighs softly, cupping your cheeks and tilting your head to deepen the kiss, and you could feel the heat of his breath against your lips when you pull away just when it was about to get better, avoiding his lips when he leans in to chase yours barely a millisecond later. your eyes shift down to his hand, one that has been injured during the game, and you proceed to hold it carefully, brushing your lips over the bruise lightly before adorning it with feathery kisses as his other hand travels down to your waist once again, pulling you closer. “you should go easy on yourself,”

you whisper the exact same words he had told you a day ago, traversing your eyes back towards him while your gazes have a conversation so foreign, as if it’s only for the silence to understand. and it’s quite literally just the two of you basking in silence as he rests his head against the crook of your neck, planting a few kisses here and there before pulling you even closer, as if you were going to disappear any second. “i think, i’m in love with you,” 

and timing be damned— because heeseung confesses to you once again, and then he’s kissing you once again, slowly, sweetly, in love, and timing doesn’t even matter because every second feels right with him. with the same air of delighted indifference he comes to know well in the gleam of your touch and the curl of your lips, you simply kiss him back as if to say, hate to admit, but i’m in love with you too. and timing really be damned because you hear loud rounds of cheers as you feel his shoulders stiffen. a slight disconnection between you and heeseung makes you wonder if he’s thinking about the results of the game, which is inevitable, but this is about you and him, and nothing else. you hear the notifications from his phone go off, hinting that the match is probably over, and you pull him into another kiss, another round of selfishness guised as an outlet for him to forget about the game, another round of messy make outs, tasting the freedom of ignorance. 

and then you don’t hear from heeseung again.  

V. OBJECT OF ALL DESIRES

days without heeseung feel like they’re forty-eight hours long.

you think it’s a disease or some sort of withdrawal syndrome. this isn’t your first time without him, in fact, you used to do just fine without him in your life until you let him in. at this point, it isn’t even about not being able to see him— heeseung has been absent for almost seven days. you even asked jay about him to see if he has been in contact with any of his teammates but much to your disappointment, he disappeared off the face of earth like he never existed. taehyun has constantly been reminding you to not fret too much, knowing that heeseung gets a little dramatic after losing matches. you can take his word, obviously, a friend from highschool would know heeseung better than a girl who started talking to him normally barely weeks ago, although you couldn’t help but worry about him as seconds passed like water dripping down the tap, disturbing the silence. 

you know how losses feel— like a part of you has been taken out and you’re left to bleed. it’s worse when it’s about something you’ve loved all your life. you’ve walked next to losses, hand in hand. when you know you’ve lost something while having it in the palms of your hands the whole time, the feeling eats you inside. you wonder if heeseung is feeling the same way you think he is, even if he didn’t show it a week ago when you had met him in the clubroom, the feeling starts to sink in when you’re alone amidst the ghosts of nobodies. even though he was smiling and acting like the little shit he is, you felt anger and regret in the way he kissed you. there was a sense of numbness dripping down his fingertips in the way they brushed against your cheeks, cupping your face. you could’ve been a sweet escape— it hurts to admit that the emotions weren’t possibly real, but you couldn’t blame him. 

losing a match, to put it in your words, meant failing in a test; and losing because of an injury, it’s like skipping a test you prepared for, because of fever. except tests can be rescheduled for students who missed— a luxury heeseung, as a basketball player, cannot enjoy. even you couldn’t believe your eyes when the students on the forum started talking about the lost match, all sorts of comments going around, though none targeted at heeseung, fortunately. yet, your first instinct was to dial his number— out of reach, the first thing you hear on the other side of the line, and all you’ve been hearing for days now. 

you had considered cutting ties with him, not literally, but as in stopping to chase him as if he’s the oxygen you inspire. you could’ve showed up at miyeon’s place with apologies, her favourite snacks and a brief explanation of why you did what you did, and everything that has happened as the consequences of your own actions. with weekends approaching, you could’ve planned a two-day trip with her and hanbin before the winter snow made it hard to commute— just anything to get your mind off heeseung, since apparently, you weren’t on his mind either. albeit, you end up doing nothing, no trips, no plans to see miyeon, it’s just you and your bruised heart with soju on the side. your mind is way too cluttered with thoughts about heeseung to focus on studying and at the same time, it’s way too empty to try doing anything else.  

so, you simply venture down the hallways, drowning in all kinds of thoughts, good and bad. you can use the time to study but concentration has been far out of your reach ever since the match, or ever since he went underground, to be more specific. the impromptu make out session was probably his last straw— it makes sense. you kissed someone who had been walked out of a match because of an injury instead of consoling them. you let your feelings get the best of you, making everything about yourself yet again. you won’t be surprised if heeseung decides to ghost you for the rest of his life after that; or maybe, that’s not possible since you see a familiar figure sitting in the outdoor basketball court, spinning the ball with it’s axis on the ground in a directionless manner. 

“heeseung?” you notice his back tense at the sound of you calling his name, head down low as if he’s responding with an exasperated sigh. “where the hell have you been? i’ve been trying to reach you— heck, even your friends haven’t heard a word from you in days,”

“not now, yn, leave me alone,” and an exasperated sigh is what it was. 

“look, i know—”

“just, what part of leaving me alone do you not understand?” you try to speak but heeseung cuts you off just as efficiently as he does other things, with annoyance heavily evident in his words. had it not been heeseung, you would’ve left already, for you have more important things to tend to, and you’re certainly not interested in matters you’re not supposed to be included in, if only it wasn’t heeseung, and if only you weren’t crazily worried for him. 

“oh, i understand it clearly, every part, actually, and i also understand that you’re upset and leaving you alone would certainly not be the best move considering the way you went MIA for a week,” and you understand his impulses about disappearing into thin air, wishing the ground eats him up or for the walls to cave in till he’s entombed in them, but a person as smart as him should know taking out helps better than thinking about wanting to vanish. “we can sit and have a talk if you stop being such an asshole about it. i’m down to listen to—”

“fine, what do you want to hear about?” he cuts you off in annoyances, the ball rolls down to a distance like your heart when you see the unfamiliar emotion in his eyes. “you were right. i went home and have been crying myself to sleep. i haven’t been eating well either. i skipped five out of nine mocks and barely passed the four i gave, let’s add that too. is that enough?” 

you don’t like the way he puts it, as if it’s supposed to make you feel better. maybe about the bet, maybe, since he’s supposed to rank above you in finals to get around dating you, and maybe watching him lose is supposed to offer you some sort of relief— seriously, what you’re feeling right now is far from that. guilt, anger, shame, you’re not unfamiliar with those emotions. they eat you inside and it’s not because you’ve met with defeat, it’s because of falling off all the expectations people had, giving them another reason to point fingers and laugh. you could be really over-reacting, but if you didn’t have your parents telling you it’s going to be fine every time you didn’t do well on tests, you don’t know where you would’ve been right now. and you think you can play a part of the same for heeseung, if not all. 

you sit next to him, nose scrunching at the sight of dust on the cement laid with cracks. that’s what you get with an outdoor court no longer in use. you can see little plantlets germinating from the soil, emerging through the cracks, the rusted ring catches your eye. heeseung huffs as you settle next to him, wondering exactly how long the court has been unused for, considering its lack of maintenance. “let’s date,” 

and your words are not what you were planning to say or what should be said in this situation, but they still manage to extract a response from him. “don’t play with me,” 

“i’m not, in fact, that is what i’ve been wanting to say to you for days. of course, this isn’t the best timing, but i don’t know what else to say,” you pause in what feels like embarrassment. too bad, his crush is not good at conversations. sometimes you end up nodding and blinking for five minutes straight before saying anything, after a person opens up to you with tears and blood. “and, i’m not going to tell you to stop acting like a child or whatever because the team lost such an important match and somewhere, you’re blaming yourself for it, which you shouldn’t, by the way. all i need to say is that you still have the next year to make up for what you’ve lost now,” 

second chances come with higher expectations from people along with words that end up making one feel worse about their situation. you’ve already heard a few students talk about how heeseung should’ve been more ‘careful’— as if it was his choice to get injured and lose the match. you know it wasn’t going to be easy, especially with his injury that probably requires him out of the court for weeks, but you hope that amidst whatever he’s feeling, between self-loath and regret, heeseung manages to find himself once again. 

“actually, i’m planning to drop out of the team next year and focus on studies. my parents were already against me playing basketball during postgrad, i’m finally starting to notice why,” basketball could’ve been his entire career if heeseung’s grandmother had not wished for him to go into the medical field. seeing the insides of a person makes him want to empty his bowel from the mouth so biotechnology was his next option. heeseung thought having two hands would give him the benefit of managing basketball and academics together, unlike how his parents had wished for, but his recent mock scores and lack of time devoted to studies is making him question his choices. “and what the hell were you on about dating, by the way?” 

you’re half immersed in your own thoughts until heeseung directs the question at you— brows furrowed, confusion shadowing his face— you realise it’s your turn to do the talking. “oh, you know, dating. i think we should start dating already, it’s quite inevitable after that day in the clubroom,” 

it is evitable, really, but you’re down bad— with all due respect. 

you haven’t been okay ever since you realised that you like heeseung, and you’ve been trying to act normal about it, attempting to not lose your cool-hard-to-get-girl composure— miyeon’s words, and they make you cringe— while the thought of him is eating your brain slowly and gradually, making you go insane. if you were to narrate from where you opened and closed the door at, it would be a slippery slope, you don’t know how someone ends up falling for the person they despise. the yn from a month or two ago would be knowing, you can see her shrugging and getting back to her books, saying see saw it coming. ( it’s miyeon’s fault for making you even think about having a mind blowing chemistry with heeseung ) the you from two semesters ago, when he first transferred, would hate you and call you a traitor, might even write whore on a mirror while looking at it because you fold at the sight of hot, smart and sporty men who are perfect at everything, even at ruining someone’s life, like he’s ruining yours; and the yn from highschool, you see her squealing on the floor because oh, what a fan of enemies to lovers she was— heeseung wouldn’t even have been in the current picture if your highschool crush slash rival liked you back. the current you, well, she’s a goner, and in denial that she’s a goner. too much pride does something to a person, especially when you’re an over-scorer and an academic weapon. you’ve lost all your abilities of letting your guard down even once, refusing to give up and accept defeat, no matter how tortuous it is on the inside. 

the current you is more like a victorian man looking at ankles for the very first time. 

“and the bet? what happened to it?” he chuckles, of course, anyone would, considering the way you’ve lost after placing the bet with utmost confidence slash overconfidence. see, it never ends well, anything, with overconfidence, it doesn’t end well, never have and never will. and you, you don’t learn, sitting with the very well known fact that if you were given the chance, you would place the bet with him again.  

“ah, i didn’t mean to do that, honestly. i was confused when you confessed, it was so sudden, i didn’t know how to respond. the bet was the best i could come up with,” miyeon was right, you could’ve used something along the lines of ‘i need some time,’ that day instead of pulling out a bet right out of your ass, and now you don’t know how to save face. at least the fact that heeseung confessed first makes you feel a little better about yourself. “c’mon, i know you love challenges. i was just trying to see if it gets you turned on or something,” 

and heeseung scoffs in disbelief, eyeing you at your choice of words. “yeah, i feel very turned on knowing my crush dragged me into a bet that i’ve been working so hard for and she wasn’t even serious about it,” 

“working hard? from what i saw, the only thing you worked hard for was basketball,” you raise your brows, a taunting intonation in your voice. a part of you regrets the choice of words, knowing that basketball is seemingly quite a sensitive topic to bring up at the moment. albeit, the slight fear evaporates off when he laughs and dismisses your words and nothings. 

he leans a little closer, hands touching yours. “you never know what i’m up to at home,” 

a pause; you look in his eyes and then at his lips, he mirrors your actions with a smirk on his face. you guess that there’s a second meaning to his words, not sure what, but the look in his eyes tells you something about it. “i think we should get back to when you were talking mental and i was talking you down,” 

and you could grab his face and kiss him with no one around, on the unmaintained basketball court for the grey and cloudy skies to see. you could run your hands through his hairs and tell him how crazy he makes you while planting kisses down his neck. you can kiss him till both of your lungs are begging for oxygen, and that's when you'd tell him how he makes you feel— breathless and drowning, a little insane every time you see him flirting with someone that's not you. you can kiss him till the sun goes down and evening takes over, it doesn't matter if you're outside for the world to see. you would've kissed him if heeseung hadn't leaned back, looking at the ball lying stray at a distance.

“by the way, i’d love to date you,” he smiles at the infinite horizon before looking at you, as if waiting for a response already known.

“yeah, i figured that,” you try to play it cool as if you’re all knowing. it’s partially true, he did confess to you first. “let’s make another bet: no kissing before finals, and the one who ends up giving in first has to buy dinner,” you come up with yet another bet, your voice hinting the enthusiasm for no apparent reason.  

heeseung squints at you, a little conflicted, quite unsure of your words. it sounds like a moment of deja vu, hopefully on a better note this time ‘round. “that’s not even valid, we made out not even a week ago,” 

“let bygones be bygones, hee,” he likes the sound of the little nickname you've given him, unlike bygones, the word you use to refer to your very first kiss with him as if it's an unfortunate memory. “it’s decided then, no kissing before finals and the loser has to buy dinner, and i won’t be satisfied with anything less than a five star meal,” 

you squint, index finger pointing at him, a challenging composure. another chuckle from him makes it’s way to you, lips curling into a faint smile. it takes you all the way back to the day you placed your first bet with him, with head empty and no logic, for the entirety of the basketball team to see, hear, and talk about it as if it’s supposed to be on the headlines of the national newspaper. your eyes spark up in anticipation, wondering if the two of you are down for another bet, one that doesn’t proceed towards failure, hopefully.

“the last time you did something like this, you ended up running back to me and asking me to date you,” he scoffs softly, side-eyeing you with a mocking gaze, quite ready to pull out the receipts if you ever deny his words. you hate how correct he is, all the time, actually, and you hate how you don’t have words to argue back.

lee heeseung, a nobody to you till he switched to your department, just some student who was there to pass time until he started ranking above you on tests and flipped your whole world upside down. you tried to not think about him and failed every time— still beats you why. you’ve never let distractions get the best of you, but heeseung, perhaps he’s more than just a distraction, or maybe he isn’t a distraction at all. he’s like a plant in your garden that you could care less about— should care less about, it’s growing without harming your plants, but it’s creeping against a wall with pretty flowers for show, and before you know it, it’s demanding for all your attention that you offer without second thoughts, unwillingly at first. 

he’s the bane of your existence and object of all your desires, to put it simply and make it sound cliché. you’ve had your moments trying to run away from him, get him out of your head, annoy him to the point he’d prefer flying to the other side of the globe, or that could be you too, anywhere, far from him. but life, for the thousandth time, is unpredictable. when was the last time something worked out exactly how you had planned— can’t remember, obviously, just like the way you don’t remember when heeseung started occupying a corner of your brain, popping in and out at random times and disrupting your thought process. the more you tried to ignore him, the further he housed in your head, the deeper in your heart, closer, within your reach, as if for you to grab his hands and let him enter your side of the world. 

and so, you kiss him again, pulling him towards you with the collars of his jacket. you feel him smile, a triumphant smile, as expected from someone who is used to winning. you don't think you can say you've lost, not at the way he cups your cheeks and tilts his head to deepen the kiss just moments before you pull away. “i always run back to you, don’t i?” 

and you're a child infatuated with their favourite sport, a painter falling in love with strokes, a pianist dancing to the melody of rachmaninoff, a student addicted to getting a perfect score, a player addicted to winning. you trace back to things you like, you always run back to heeseung,

and you always would. 

TEN MINUTES LATER :

heeseung plants a soft peck on your lips. “dinner’s on you,” 

“fuck!” 

[weirdsht]

Hi! Good day/evening to you. Would it be alright if we get more of yan!cale? 😽 I read ur yan!cale stories and I deeply stand by you.

Overboard

notes: i'm not experienced with writing yanderes and I couldn't think of a specific scenarios so i went with this a short fic instead. If you have any scenarios in mind feel free to send them and i'll do my best to deliver!

tags: subtle yandere cale (tbh you have to squint huhu), established relationship, vague novel spoilers

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are open and welcome

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The clock strikes just after midnight. It was quiet as everyone had gone to their designated rooms to sleep.

Almost everyone that is.

Cale and Ron are still awake and talking. With the young master sitting on the couch and the servant standing up beside him as he reads the documents he has been given.

Usually, Cale would have been asleep long ago. At this time he would be cuddling with his significant other and the children averaging nine years old. In fact, he can hear the bed that’s just 10 steps away calling him already.

But alas he still has something to do.

“A viscount’s son huh? Where does he get the audacity to try and touch what’s mine?”

Ron stayed silent at his young master’s calm voice. Instead, he peeked at the document in Cale’s hand.

The document was something the servant had written himself. It consisted of every detail that happened when Cale’s significant other was away. Getting a much-needed vacation after being cooped up at the underground villa during the entirety of the war.

It consisted of places they went to. Things they bought. People they talked to. Even things they looked at for more than 30 seconds.

Every move they made was written in that document.

“Ron, everyone knows that the Henituse is a duchy now right?”

“Of course young master.”

“And everyone knows who my significant other is right?”

“Yes, young master. You are a famous figure in both continents, your significant other is bound to be known too.”

Usually, Cale would grimace at the thought of him being famous. But not right now.

“Then why would such a lowly noble like this trash here dare make a move on _____?”

“Some rabbits just don’t know the value of their lives, young master.”

Cale could feel his anger rising. However, he held it in. He can’t raise his voice right now. Not only was it late but _____ and the children were already asleep on the bed a few steps away from him.

Huuu

“I wanted for _____ to relax for once. The war was quite detrimental to their health.”

The young master sighed once more before fully calming down.

“You did a good job not letting that bastard go near them again after the 2nd time it happened.”

Ron flashed his usual benign smile at the compliment. Despite that, Cale could see in the old man’s eyes that he was not yet satisfied.

“Was _____ bothered that much?”

“Yes, young master. They felt distraught during the first two days of their vacation because of him.”

Ah, so that’s why Ron was still angry.

“Then I guess looting him dry won’t be enough. I’ll you handle the rest. Go do whatever will ease your heart. Just make sure to clean up afterwards.”

Molan’s last patriarch only bowed before going out of Cale’s room. The documents that Cale had been reading are in his hands, ready to be burned at the fireplace. Despite the lack of verbal response from the benign old man, Cale knows he will follow the orders given to him.

Which was why he could go back to bed with a lighter heart.

Meanwhile, the documents are now successfully fueling the fireplace of the villa. Ron watches the paper turn to ash. He oversees how the last thing that was burned was the description of the viscount’s son. Written below that was his offence.

His crime?

Trying to flirt with _____. Twice.

Even had the nerve to say a pickup line.

“Maybe I’ll let Choi Han handle him instead.”

[undying-love]

Datalounge comments compilation

Remember to take everything here with a grain of salt:

“Ok guys someone told me about this site and i have been loving it so far. Anyway my great uncle who lived in Liverpool told me a story some years ago. He told me that John and Paul actually were living together at some point during the sixties (John even stated it in a 70’s interview) and he is invited by a friend of his to a party that John and Paul are having at their house. He said as he walked in he saw Paul, who was walking around in nothing but a white shorts and John some feet away playing pool. He said throughout the day John and Paul is behaving like a regular couple and he is shocked since so many other ppl are there. Later in the evening as he is getting ready to leave Paul casually walks over to him and thanks him for coming and he leaves. He told me this some years after John’s death because he was sure Paul would have admitted they were a couple, well it has not happened and I don’t think he ever will. I really don’t know what to make of this story since he was the first person I ever heard claiming John and Paul to be a couple but apparently he is not the only one! ”

“Since everyone is anonymous here, I guess I can give a bit of info I got from a female friend of mine who at one time was Paul worked as one of Paul’s assistants. According to her Macca is a bisexual, who makes no secret of this when he is around his inner circle. She does not know for certain if John and Paul were involved but she suspects it since to this day whenever John’s name is brought up he acts in her words ‘like a widow’ and he also addresses John in present tense. He would say things like, ‘John thinks that the music should be like this,’ and during his bitter divorce from Heather he was saying, ‘John says that this is getting nasty.’ Kind of creepy."

“Isn't it well known that Starting Over was written about Paul? At least I heard someone in the music industry mention it, and that Paul knows it. Also, it was reported that Paul locked himself in his music studio and listened to the song repeatedly after John died.”

“I worked in the music industry briefly from 67-70 and I have seen for myself some very revealing things but I don't find it appropriate to dish it out here. One day it will be revealed, definitely not while Paul or Yoko is alive maybe soon after. I'll return here to read all the threads. The most I can say for now, is Yoko gave a very watered down version of the names the Apples' staff gave to Paul, though they also gave a very derogatory name for John as well.”

“Actually the John and Paul rumours did not only emerge in our time. As early as the middle sixties rumours were beginning to spread in the music industry about what exactly the J/P relationship was involved. My grandfather was a entertainment journalist in the 60's and he stated that people were becoming suspicious about John and Paul as early as 1964. He also said that someone had made a comment about seeing John and Paul holding hands backstage during the music Lennon and McCartney tv special, though no one believed the person at the time. According to him the Beatles' camp began to go into panic mode and even went so far as to demand John and Paul no longer sit together in interviews. So believe me this John and Paul thing is nothing new. People have been creating stories about people's 'gayness' for years.”

“This John and Paul thing is so dated. I am from Liverpool and since the 60's rumours were swirling about John and Paul possibly being 'queers.' At the time I didn't think much of it, since it was guys who fought with them as kids who were spreading the rumours and so I assumed it was jealousy that fueled the rumours.”

“My uncle was a sound engineer for Granada tv studios in 60's and actually met the Beatles because he worked on 'the Music of Lennon and McCartney' special. He actually chatted with Ringo behind the scenes briefly but didn't speak with the others. I remember him telling me years ago that he was surprised by Paul's mannerisms because as he put it, it was overly 'swishy.' He also stated that John and Paul acted very strange throughout the evening. According to him they followed each other continuously even when it was not required, as one got up so did the other, as one sat so did the other, they would finish each sentences, and they were often seen staring at each other for excruciating periods of time (his exact words) he said behind the scenes people were joking about them being a couple because they seemed so close. My uncle told me this years ago but I always summed it up to their brotherly relationship. I am now reconsidering my position.”

"The one time I was ever actually in a room with Paul, zillion people between me and him (and no way I'm gonna bother him, all of us who travel in celeb circles have people we're fans of and all of us inexplicably try to hide it to seem "cooler"), he was hitting whiskey a little hard, and apparently it makes him confessional because he started talking loudly about himself and John, and how hard it was not to have him there. (Of course I paid attention and scooted a little closer; when a Beatle speaks about a Beatle, and you've heard rumors about both of them, you want the tea.) I remember him saying something along the lines of not a day passing that John's not still in it with him, but it's not like he can pick up a phone and say, "Hey, just needed to hear your voice today," and even when he got craggy responses, he still missed them. He misses it all, and it's bothering to him that he misses him more as time goes on -- it doesn't heal, he just learns new ways to bandage the wound. Went on and on, and stopped just short of saying too much. He was waxing rhapsodic about John's hands, and finally I think the people he was with noticed interlopers paying attention, and changed the topic".

“Saw this thread and decided I should post what I have heard. I can tell you that John and Paul never hid the fact that they were together in the 60's and they were referred to as music’s 'first official same sex couple' by those in their close music circles. I found this out from my mother who was a 'go for' for a music director in the 60's. She worked behind the scenes for the 'Help!' music video. She has seen John and Paul backstage and always refers to their behaviour around each other as cute, and claims after spending a few minutes with them it was obvious they were deeply in love. She said that George and Ringo would always excuse themselves whenever John and Paul began chatting up each other.”

[gureumz]

are you?

rating: explicit

members: sunghoon, heeseung

notes/warnings: fem!reader, smoking, INFIDELITY, bf!heeseung, reader cheats on heeseung, rivalry between sunghoon and heeseung, university setting, dirty talk, protected sex, public sex, car sex, once again: THERE IS CHEATING IN THIS STORY

a/n: please know that i do not condone cheating irl. this is merely an exercise on writing and a test of my skills when depicting themes like this. got the idea from this tiktok.

read part 2 here

lee heeseung is the perfect boyfriend.

tall, handsome, highly athletic, a phenomenal singer and dancer, oozing charisma with every step he takes, every perfect smile he sends your way, every discreet-but-not-really shift of his hands over the slope of your ass.

you, quiet and often unassuming, couldn't have asked for someone better. not that you wanted to, because you know in your heart of hearts that lee heeseung is as best as you can do.

the way you got together was a serendipitous mix of being at the right place at the right time and an uncharacteristic surge of confidence on your part.

you were loitering right outside the gates of your university, huddled closely with your friends, identical cigarettes hanging between your fingers or puckered in between perfectly glossed lips. a couple of you preferred the artificial, flavored alternatives, but it was nicotine all the same.

"sorry ladies, i hate to do this, but can any of you lend me a lighter?"

you turned and it was like a cliche scene in some romcom. hands shoved in his uniform slacks, the infamous engineering polo hanging off his broad frame, heeseung eyed you with some mix of boyish charm and adorable bashfulness.

it took you a second to realize that you were the one holding the neon pink lighter, having forgotten who it really belonged to. it was communal among your friends at this point.

you, in a split-second decision probably fueled by some kind of girlish giddiness at his handsome looks, held the lighter up and flicked it on.

heeseung chuckled, pulling a box of reds out of his pocket. slipping a cigarette between his lips, he bent down to your level, aligning the end with the tiny flame emitted by the lighter.

"thanks," heeseung said after the end of his cigarette lit up, a puff of smoke escaping his lips. he straightened up, sending you a wink.

your friends were watching this exchange with heightened curiosity, eyebrows raised and mouths curling in amused smiles.

heeseung made a move as if to turn, but stopped short, bringing his attention back to you.

"hey, aren't you jay's friend from high school?" heeseung asked, jerking his head towards the direction of his friends.

you followed the direction of where he vaguely gestured, and sure enough, jay, indeed an old friend from high school, and some other guys were watching you from the other end of the large gate leading to the inside of your university.

you waved at jay and he enthusiastically waved back once he determined who you were.

"________, right?" heeseung had continued to ask, grinning down at you.

"yeah," you confirmed. "sorry, what was your name?"

"heeseung," he replied, holding his hand out to you.

a handshake, exchanged instagrams, about three dates, and two months later, you had the honor of calling yourself lee heeseung's girlfriend.

you wouldn't have it any other way.

especially now that he has his hands running up and down your sides, your back pressed firmly against his front, the music blaring loud in both of your ears.

the party was his idea, obviously, but you wouldn't say no to a night of drinking and dancing with heeseung.

"you look gorgeous," heeseung whispers lowly in your ear. as if to emphasize his point, he places a kiss right behind your ear.

"look at all of these people ogling at you," heeseung adds, chuckling.

"oh please, they're looking at you," you reply. you catch a girl in a sparkly top giving your boyfriend a totally obvious once-over.

heeseung turns you around to face him, hips swaying along to the music. you match his movements, wrapping your arms around his neck.

"only because i'm with the most beautiful girl in here," heeseung counters back, making a move to kiss you on the lips.

you kiss back, feeling his arms tighten around you. you giggle against his mouth.

"slow down there, tiger," you tease as you pull away. "should i get us more drinks?"

heeseung's lips pull up in a smirk. he leans in to kiss you again, briefly this time.

"sure, princess. just rum and coke for me."

you nod, wriggling free from heeseung's grasp. you make your way to the bar, but not before heeseung lands a quick slap to your ass.

you lean over the bar, patiently waiting for the bartender to notice you. you quickly rattle off your orders once he does, and you have time to perch yourself on one of the barstools while you wait.

you survey the club before you. most of the patrons are university-age, just like you, with a good chunk of actual students from your own institution.

you feel somebody slide into the seat next to yours and you spare them an absentminded glance. you do a double take when you realize he was beaming at you.

"are you alone?" the stranger asks. you cautiously shift away from him, though, you would be lying if you said he wasn't attractive.

you remind yourself that even serial killers can look like greek gods.

"no, i'm with my friends," you explain, waving a hand towards the general direction of your table.

"i'm just getting drinks," you continue.

the stranger nods, studying your face. "cool. i'm sunghoon."

he reaches a hand out to you and you stifle a smile.

"________," you return, grasping his hand in yours. his skin was soft, but the grip he has is as manly as it gets.

"wanna dance while you wait for your drinks?" sunghoon asks, leaning in closer. you can smell his perfume now, and you can just make out the moles adorning his face. he has an insanely high-angled nose, too.

"sure," you answer, a grin spreading across your face. you look over sunghoon's shoulder and you have to stop yourself from laughing.

heeseung had sidled up behind sunghoon, eyebrows knit in confusion.

"you have to ask my boyfriend, though," you continue, motioning with your chin towards heeseung. a master of timing as always, heeseung walks over to you and drapes an arm around your shoulder.

"ask me, what, park?" heeseung questions, raising an eyebrow at sunghoon.

you look up at heeseung in surprise, not expecting him to actually know sunghoon.

sunghoon deflects from the question. "didn't expect to see you here, hyung."

heeseung scoffs, pulling you closer to him.

"i could say the same for you," heeseung says in something akin to a sneer. "finally pulled the stick out your ass enough to have fun?"

sunghoon rolls his eyes, rising from his seat. he locks eyes with you and smiles.

"nice meeting you, ________."

without another word, sunghoon stalks off into the crowd, disappearing in the blink of an eye.

"what was that about? you know him?" you interrogate heeseung, slipping your fingers between his.

heeseung snickers before leaning down to kiss your temple.

"just some asshole from one of my classes," heeseung explains. "completely insufferable."

you decide not to press on the matter further, and to your relief, the bartender returns, sliding your drinks towards you.

heeseung picks up his drink and downs half of it. the uneasy clenching in his jaw doesn't go unnoticed by you.

---

one thing you've learned about heeseung is that he loves attention. whether he's aware of this or not is unknown to you.

not that it's a bad thing, but you speculate that with a face like that and a multitude of talents, heeseung just grew accustomed to being poured with attention and compliments.

you didn't mind it, or at least you tried not to mind it. stopping every few paces when you're walking across campus with heeseung because he ran into someone he knew is one thing, the overflowing comments on his social media posts are fine, but even you're not above admitting that the plethora of girls that dote on your boyfriend don't give your skin an uncomfortable prickle.

you don't say anything because you should be thankful that your boyfriend is major hot stuff at your uni, but it's the way he responds so enthusiastically to girls gushing over him that irks you.

but you're afraid of shattering the perfect trajectory your relationship. you convince yourself that it's just some underlying insecurity you have and you can get over it. you tell yourself that you're okay with not bringing it up with heeseung.

because you love him and you're sure he doesn't mean it.

bball practice is gonna run late tonight. don't wait up k baby?

the text from heeeung pings on your screen and you hurriedly type out an affirming reply.

you flip your phone face down on the table, pulling your tablet closer to you, eyes refocusing on the notes displayed across the screen. you're kind of glad that heeseung was busy because you really needed to hunker down and study for a major test tomorrow.

that's how you found yourself cooped up in the library, in the very back section where few students care enough to venture, to ensure the least amount of distraction for you.

there's about three other students within your immediate vicinity but a blur of movement alerts you that a fourth person is about to join you. you look up from your notes and you nearly gasp when you realize who it is.

he hasn't noticed you yet, eyes too focused on picking the perfect desk for him to settle into, but you know without a shadow of a doubt that sunghoon is the one making his way toward your side of the library.

your eyes finally meet him and for a second, neither of you makes a move, just staring blankly at each other. but then sunghoon brings a hand up and waves, smiling handsomely at you.

you wave back politely and for some reason, sunghoon takes this as an invitation to seat himself at the desk directly to your left.

"mind if i sit here?" sunghoon whispers. you're mildly surprised to find out that he looks even better under regular, non-strobe lighting.

"not at all," you say, shaking your head. you turn back to your desk, but you know you're already half-distracted.

it's that damned perfume of his, for sure.

thankfully, sunghoon doesn't try to make further conversation and after a while you find yourself slowly sinking back into zen, eyes moving over the subject matter you were studying. your focus is once again interrupted only by sunghoon abruptly rising from his seat.

he catches your eye as he walks over to some bookshelves and he smiles at you yet again. without even thinking, you notice yourself smiling back.

you hold your breath as you watch the spot where he disappeared between stacks of books, unsure what you're even waiting for. as if pulled by some unknown force, you slip off your own seat, legs bringing you to the exact bookshelf where sunghoon is rifling through some reference books.

he's hunched over the text, forehead creased in concentration as he scans over the words, but his expression eases when he sees you appear in his periphery.

"oh, _______," sunghoon lets out, mildly startled. "nice seeing you again here."

you don't say anything for a few seconds, suddenly at a loss for what exactly you were doing following sunghoon. he looks at you expectantly, but you notice the hint of amusement dancing in his dark eyes.

"i have something to ask you," you say rather plainly. sunghoon closes the book in his hand, tucking it under his arm.

"shoot," sunghoon replies, leaning against the bookshelf. your eyes flit for a moment to the veins running up his arms.

"are you in some sort of fight with my boyfriend?" you ask, stepping closer, conscious that your voice might carry over to the librarian's desk nearby.

sunghoon chuckles. "heeseung-hyung is the only one fighting. i would prefer not to get into any altercations with him."

you tilt your head to the side, confused. sunghoon licks his lips before continuing.

"i guess he's not used to someone competing with him and actually winning over him sometimes," sunghoon explains.

you ponder on this for a moment. you're aware that heeseung has some sort of an ego, but being mere months into the relationship, you weren't fully sure how deep it went.

"so, you two are in some sort of academic rivalry?" you joke, eyebrows raised at sunghoon. he laughs quietly.

"i guess? he can only wish to be as good as i am in calculus," sunghoon jests back, inching ever so slightly closer to you.

you're nearly toe to toe but the way sunghoon's hair falls into his eyes, and the curve of his lips as he smiles has you frozen in place, admiring every sharp turn of his features.

"don't go stealing my boyfriend, now," you reply, moving as if to kick sunghoon in the shin. you lightly nudge his leg with your foot.

so it's you who ultimately breaks the physical barrier.

sunghoon chuckles, shaking his head. he briefly touches your chin with his forefinger and you bristle, surprised at the unexpected contact.

"it's not your boyfriend i want," sunghoon says before walking off.

you stand there, fingertips tingling and heart beating wildly.

---

sex with heeseung is often spontaneous and because of that, you've found yourself stretched out from his cock in unusual places around campus more times than you care to admit.

this evening, you're shoved behind some bleachers in your university's basketball court, your hands braced against the metal as heeseung pounds you from behind.

your prudish uniform skirt is bunched up around your waist, and one cup of your bra is pulled all the way down under your blouse. you bite down on your lip, hard, as heeseung pistons in and out of you.

"fuck, heeseung, please," you whisper, unsure whether you're asking him to please, make me cum or please, hurry up. maybe both. because you can hear footsteps and voices approaching and despite the boost of newfound confidence you've acquired with being heeseung's girlfriend, you're not sure what you'd do with yourself if you suddenly find yourself trending among the students of your university for fucking behind the bleachers.

heeseung merely grunts in reply, sealing his hand over your mouth. you can see through the gaps in the bleachers that there's a group making their way toward your general direction. it's dark enough, just after dusk, that you're concealed from anyone standing a few feet away, but you suddenly remember with a chill that people often come here to smoke and do other...recreational substances.

someone from the group is walking faster than the rest and he's making a beeline straight to where you and heeseung are. heeseung's movements have slowed down to mild, drawn-out thrusts, but he keeps his hand over your face.

stepping into the dimmed lighting of the court, the figure approaching your spot stops short. he's looking directly at you.

you realize with a start, your heart sinking in humiliation, that it's sunghoon who's staring right into your eyes, his gaze somehow finding yours in the shadows of the bleachers. his face twitches in recognition before morphing into an expression of amusement.

"let's go somewhere else," sunghoon calls out to his companions, eyes still locked on yours.

"i think someone's fucking in the bleachers," sunghoon adds, before finally tearing his vision away from you.

the others who came with sunghoon laugh, hollering and making obscene sounds, but they walk away nonetheless, leaving you and heeseung alone once again in the court.

"who was that?" heeseung questions, removing his hand from your face. he licks the shell of your ear before biting down on your earlobe.

"n-no idea," you reply shakily, suppressing a cry as heeseung sinks his dick deep into you.

---

"are you here for heeseung?"

you look up from your phone, eyes landing on sunghoon's tall figure. he has the same easy stance, arms crossed, and his signature smile.

"yeah," you reply curtly, memories of that night behind the bleachers flooding back in your mind.

"why, so you can fuck him again behind the bleachers?" sunghoon asks, stepping closer. you look over his shoulder nervously at the other students pouring out of the classroom where he came from.

"that's none of your business," you say, avoiding his eyes.

"oh, yeah?" sunghoon asks with a laugh. "i'm pretty sure you made it everyone's business when you decided to fuck in public."

"it wasn't totally in public."

"sure, it was. anyone could've walked in."

sunghoon reaches for a strand of your hair. you feel your eyes flutter nearly shut when his hand brushes against your cheek.

"good thing i was the one who did," sunghoon adds, winking.

"did you enjoy the show?" you ask lowly, finally meeting sunghoon's eyes.

"did you wish it was you?"

sunghoon gulps, stepping back. just then, you see heeseung walk out of the classroom, eyes lighting up at the sight of your face.

"hey, baby," he greets, reaching for you. he stops when he sees sunghoon standing nearby.

"are you that thick that i need to explicitly tell you that i don't want you near my girlfriend?" heeseung scoffs at sunghoon.

"chill out, hyung, we just recognized each other from the club," sunghoon replies, eyeing you one last time before walking away.

you try not to let your hands shake so hard as heeseung links his arm with yours, rattling off about his class.

---

you're convinced that he's following you. how could he not be, when he's slipping into the same desk next to you in the library?

"miss me?" sunghoon asks playfully, setting his bag down on the desk in front of him.

it's been nearly two weeks since you last saw him outside that classroom, having been caught up in the whirlwind of midterms. even your time with heeseung was limited, with only brief lunches together as life pulled you in all different directions.

"not at all," you reply nonchalantly. your stomach flips when you inhale and you catch yet another whiff of his perfume.

would it be wrong to say that maybe you did miss him?

"come on, i thought you liked my company," sunghoon quips, leaning his elbow on the desk and perching his chin on his palm. he looks at you directly, unabashedly eyeing you up and down.

"where did you get that idea?" you ask in an attempt to sound irritable, but your voice comes out in a weak whisper.

sunghoon shrugs. "just a feeling."

"if you didn't, you would have told heeseung-hyung about our chance meetings and he would have beaten me up to a pulp by now," sunghoon continues, getting up from his seat before stretching lazily.

you swallow, pondering his words. it's true. if you disliked his presence so much, you would have ratted him out to heeseung. you know what sunghoon is doing. you can practically feel the flirty undertone in his words. if you were a better person, you would have shut it down a long time ago.

are you a better person?

"i kinda need your help, though," sunghoon says, staring down at you. you raise your eyes to his and you know he loves the perspective it gives him.

"i might need more books than i can carry," sunghoon explains. "might need an extra pair of hands."

without another word, he stalks off, disappearing between the same two bookshelves where you had your first conversation in this library.

you laugh to yourself, knowing that everything that came out of his mouth just now was bullshit, a guy who clearly spends hours in the gym, arms totally jacked, needing your help with a stack of books?

tell me right now, are you a better person?

possibly not, because you stand up all the same, legs mechanically taking you to where you know sunghoon is. you turn the corner and sure enough, sunghoon is waiting, back pressed against the wall at the very end of the two bookshelves. his arms are crossed and despite the shadows cast on his figure by the wooden shelves, you know his eyes are trained on you.

you take a quick glance over your shoulder, but you know no one else is there other than the surly librarian sitting at her desk. why were you in the library, anyway? exams had just finished. surely, you had a reason.

or maybe it was the same serendipitous mix of being at the right place at the right time and an uncharacteristic surge of confidence on your part.

last chance. are you a better person?

surely you aren't. not when you're practically shoving yourself against sunghoon's wide frame, fingers frantically clutching at his clothing as you pull him closer, closer, please, closer. not when you're kissing him with so much hunger, teeth clashing and tongues licking messily into each other's mouths.

sunghoon presses you against the wall, reaching under your skirt, and pulling the thin material of your underwear aside. he drinks in your moans as he easily finds your clit, rubbing in slow circles with his index and middle finger.

he pulls away, watching you as you throw your head back in pleasure. you refuse to look at him, lest it makes this whole thing seem real.

"look at me," sunghoon whispers right next to your ear. you shake your head, tears prickling in your eyes.

tears of shame.

sunghoon switches his fingers, replacing his index with his middle. he gathers the wetness between your legs, coating his digits generously. he slides the two fingers inside you and you nearly fall apart right at that moment.

you open your eyes, blinking the tears away and sunghoon is looking at you with an intensity that has your knees buckling. salty streaks cascade down your cheeks and sunghoon leans in to kiss them away.

"tell me to stop and i'll stop," sunghoon mumbles against your temple.

you wrap your arms around his torso, curling your fingers in the material of his uniform.

"keep going," you whisper. sunghoon kisses your forehead, your nose, then finally your lips.

his fingers drag in and out of you and you pant against sunghoon's mouth. it's embarrassing how close he's getting you. just a little more and he'll successfully coax an orgasm out of you.

you momentarily remember that it takes heeseung way longer to get you to finish, and that's often with help from your own fingers.

oh, god, heeseung. what have i done?

"that's it, love, it's okay," sunghoon says against the top of your head when he feels you clenching around him.

just as you predicted, it doesn't take too long. you finish with a quiet shudder against sunghoon's chest, your lip nearly bruised at how hard you've bitten down on it.

hiccupping, you lean back, watching as sunghoon brings his coated fingers to his lips, licking them clean and relishing in the way you're staring intently at his actions.

sunghoon leans in to kiss you a moment later and you whimper softly when you taste yourself on his tongue.

"we should go," sunghoon whispers, breath fanning your face.

you merely nod, shakily smoothing your clothes down.

---

you and heeseung look like the perfect couple.

you, in your dress that perfectly complimented the color of heeseung's suit and heeseung beaming proudly as he leads you through the hotel lobby towards the event hall.

it didn't take much convincing for you to agree to be heeseung's date to the engineering division's anniversary dinner. you love dressing up for fancy events and you love heeseung, so it was a no-brainer.

you love heeseung. you truly, deeply, honestly love heeseung.

you know you do. even when merely a week ago, you had his so-called rival's fingers deep inside you in a quiet corner of the library.

and as the saying goes, speak of the devil.

sunghoon is standing by the door of the event hall, dressed smartly in his own suit, and a similarly attired woman standing next to him. you've seen her before, one of the models on the university's advertorial billboards scattered all over the city.

you catch sunghoon's eye as you approach the hall but he makes no indication of noticing you. heeseung steers the two of you into the venue, his hand settling on the small of your back.

"i'm surprised park got himself a date for tonight," heeseung jokes, smirking down at you.

"don't be like that," you return weakly. "you're putting out bad karma."

heeseung just chuckles, leaning down to kiss your cheek. he leads you to a table, one matching the number on your invitations. heeseung greets the people at the table and you smile when he introduces you. you're about to take a seat when you spot sunghoon and his date walking over.

"oh great, we're sharing a table," heeseung comments sarcastically, slipping into his own seat. you lay a hand on heeseung's thigh in warning as you settle beside him.

sunghoon just smiles, coaxing his companion closer to him.

"you all look great tonight," sunghoon offers brightly to everyone at the table, eyes lingering just a second longer on you.

"this is wonyoung, but i'm sure you know who she is," sunghoon adds and the girl beside him visibly blushes.

you stop breathing when sunghoon situates himself on the chair beside you, his knee briefly knocking against yours. you feel heeseung tighten his hold on your hand.

you breeze through the program rather easily, mostly ignoring sunghoon's looming presence beside you and busying yourself with your boyfriend and his other classmates instead.

that is, until you feel fingers brush against your knee under the tablecloth.

he wouldn't dare.

would he?

you discreetly check on heeseung and he's animatedly discussing something with another guy who you learned was named jake. you chew on your lip nervously, trying to appear engaged in their conversation despite the undeniable press of sunghoon's fingertips on your knee.

you clear your throat, quickly knocking sunghoon's hand away.

"i might go for a quick smoke," you say a little sheepishly, laying a hand on heeseung's shoulder. "you wanna come with?"

heeseung pauses for a second but shakes his head. "you go ahead, baby. text me if you need anything, okay?"

you nod, tight-lipped as you smile at him. you grab your purse, and you mentally punch yourself for feeling relieved that heeseung said no.

you wouldn't dare.

would you?

you make brief eye contact with sunghoon as you stand, excusing yourself from the rest of the table.

you weave through the throng of people in the event hall, speedwalking through the lobby, and clambering down the stairs at the exit before finally arriving at the hotel parking lot.

you find a low wall towards the edge of the lot, deeming it clean enough for you to sit on. you hoist yourself up, letting your legs dangle from the edge.

you sit there, having gone through two whole sticks before you see a figure walking towards you.

"your boyfriend's looking for you," sunghoon declares, coming to a stop in front of you. from where you're seated on the wall, you're a good few inches taller than him now.

"is he really?" you ask, taking a drag from your cigarette. sunghoon doesn't say anything. after a moment, he holds his hand out.

you pass him the cigarette, watching as he inhales. his eyes don't leave yours as he steps closer, taking another drag before returning the stick back to you.

the cig is still half good but you extinguish it against the wall, dropping it into the concrete below. sunghoon's standing right in front of you now, hands smoothing up your thighs.

"you're really fucking gorgeous tonight," sunghoon blurts out, leaning in close.

you lay your hands on his shoulders to steady yourself, letting sunghoon run the tip of his nose against your neck, inhaling deeply as if memorizing your scent. you exhale as you feel him kiss your shoulder, his finger discreetly nudging the strap of your dress down.

"not here," you warn, letting the strap stay down. you reach over to run your hands through sunghoon's hair near the nape of his neck.

not here.

not 'no' or 'stop it'. it's a 'yes', but not where everyone can see.

"my car is right there," sunghoon says matter-of-factly, turning to gesture at a black car just a few feet away.

you eye it thoughtfully, imagination already running wild as you estimate the wide backseat space of sunghoon's vehicle.

you're pulled out of your thoughts when you hear sunghoon laugh.

"whatever you're thinking, we can make it happen," sunghoon says, a seductive lilt evident in his voice. you turn to him, grasping his face in your hands.

you kiss him as if he's the only man you've ever wanted.

you kiss him as if breaking apart would kill you. even as he's pulling you off the wall from where you're seated, you make no move to part from his lips.

how you got into his backseat without tripping over yourselves is beyond you. but you're here now, your dress unzipped and pulled down to reveal your chest. sunghoon's tie is yanked loose, the first few buttons of his dress shirt undone. he's sitting, leaned back, with you perched on his lap.

"do you want it?" sunghoon questions, a hand grasping one of your boobs, his face pressed up against the side of your neck.

"yes," you gasp out. sunghoon grunts in your ear.

you lean back to let sunghoon undo his pants enough for him to pull them just below his half-hard dick. he wraps a large hand around his shaft, pulling you close, melding your lips together.

"middle console," sunghoon directs, guiding your hand behind you. you feel around the storage space, fingers finding the telltale foil material of a condom wrapper.

you hand it to sunghoon, breathing heavily as you watch him rip it open with his teeth. he expertly slides it down on himself with one hand, his other already pulling at your skirt.

you get it out of the way eventually, your hips hovering right above sunghoon's. you blindly guide sunghoon to your entrance, gasping when you feel his tip prod at your hole.

before you know it, you've sunk down on sunghoon completely, his strong arms bracing you against him, letting the both of you grow accustomed to each other.

"you're perfect," sunghoon babbles into your hair and you squeeze your eyes shut, guilt rising in your chest.

but all that falls away when you feel sunghoon angle his hips up, thrusting shallowly into you. you cry out into his shoulder, scrambling to hold yourself up so he can move a little more freely.

you plant your legs on either side of him, holding yourself up on your knees. sunghoon readjusts himself, holding you over him. you move your hips experimentally and both of you groan at how deep he goes inside you.

in the dark, cramped space of sunghoon's car, with the air conditioning set to lowest so as to not draw any attention to both of you, you start to ride him.

it's sloppy, messy, uncoordinated, but the desire that burns within both of you is enough to fuel you on. you pray in the back of your mind that no one comes this way, but your brain is largely occupied by sunghoon and sunghoon alone.

how he feels inside you, how hot his breath is against your chest, how sweet your name sounds coming from his mouth.

just as you're tiring, sunghoon maneuvers you so you're laying on the seat, your hands bracing against the door above you. sunghoon leans over you, slipping in once more. you spread your legs wider, and despite the awkward angle, all is forgotten once sunghoon moves.

the car is rocking softly now, you're sure of it, but the pleasure building inside you has you throwing all care out the window.

"you feel so good," you whimper, nails digging into sunghoon's shoulders.

"yeah?" sunghoon says. "better than heeseung-hyung?"

you're struck speechless, but sunghoon slams into you harder, as if demanding an answer.

"better than your arrogant boyfriend, hm?" sunghoon pries, pupils blown wide as he looks straight into your own eyes.

"i see the way he acts," sunghoon continues, spitting the words out harshly. "going around acting like he can pull anyone and everyone."

the words spark something primal in you. yes, yes, you're right!

"can't he see he has this perfect fucking pussy at his disposal?" sunghoon says through gritted teeth.

"yes," you finally relent, moaning wantonly when you feel sunghoon hit a certain spot within you. "fuck, you're so much better than him."

this sends sunghoon into a frenzy, fucking into you with abandon, the repeated and prolonged stretch in your pussy making your head spin and the muscles in your abdomen tighten.

"come on, love," sunghoon says, almost pleading. "need you to cum with me."

"oh god," you breathe out, one of your hands finding purchase on the headrest above you and the other tugging harshly at sunghoon's hair.

"yes, yes, sunghoon, shit, right there!"

sunghoon lets out a guttural sound as he cums, your own orgasm slamming into you with strength and magnitude you didn't know was possible for you to experience.

a minute passes. then two. the night is once again quiet, the distant sound of music coming from the event hall seemingly worlds away.

you and sunghoon hurriedly compose yourselves, erasing any trace of what just transpired.

on the other side of the wall from where you sat merely minutes before, cigarette butts and a knotted condom lie forgotten, the only evidence of your ultimate undoing.

---

"you seem exhausted, babe," heeseung comments, casting a sideways glance at you. you lean against the passenger side window, your eyes heavy with sleep.

the city lights zoom past you as heeseung drives down the highway with little interruption, seeing as it's past midnight on a weekday.

"yeah, i'm just not used to wearing heels for that long," you supply, yawning just as you get the sentence out.

heeseung lays a comforting hand on your thigh. you place your own hand on top of his, grasping his fingers in yours. if he notices just how hard you're squeezing, he doesn't comment on it.

"i love you," heeseung says, bringing your joined hands up to his lips.

a pause.

"i love you, too," comes your quiet reply.