#i read that one comic yes and i think the honest to god nice level the dangeresque two's relationship is built upon is. so fun

[tropical-lazor-beams]

[image description: black and white sketch. dangeresque, further in the background, points his nunchuck-gun forward in a wide stance. dangeresque too, in the foreground, leans back on his feet & points his own gun in the air. they both look seriously to the right at an unseen target. at the left are some crates in the background. the caption is red, blocky & curvy text, reading "you take the big guy". end image description]

i honest to god put more stock into the relationship between these double-fictional characters than sb & hs themselves sometimes

[loopyarts]

Batman and Robin Year one by Mark Waid and Chris Samnee issue #1 first thoughts rambles.

Well at least he is honest. Maybe by the end of this series Bruce you will be at the level of a B- to B+ parent at very least ha ha.

Also new record 3 weeks that was fast given the standard is 6 months for Dick training in the comic books. Even three months would be more possible but all well, it doesn’t really matter. Then again in The Batman 2004 cartoon he became Robin in what like only a few days and with no training what so ever really. Which is just so funny to me to think back on.

Dick full of anger and rage then cuts to a Happy go lucky Dick Grayson. Hmm, I feel this probably a set up for a later issue perhaps and I did listen to the interviews with Mark and Chris they did say Dick being always happy go lucky is a mask.

Me too Dick me too. Studying and doing well any type of research or homework can be so tiring and absolute torture to do at times. (Cough cough the autism plus the adhd be kicking my ass at times.)

Honestly as a wee lad I would be just as excited as Dick to fight evildoers but on the playground of course ha ha.

But I do like while Dick is clearly excited about crime fighting, he does understand that it isn’t a game. An emotionally mature child for his age yet still clearly is just a young child. Who still has quite a lot to learn about the world around him and the deep dark underbelly that is Gotham criminal underground.

Hmm, let your true self be your mask that’s not the greatest bit of advice I feel but hey he is at least trying. Also Bruce I don’t believe you; your true mask has always been between both Bruce Wayne and Batman at least to me anyway.

(Mutter mutter I could also ramble about how hiding one true self is such an interesting thing for superheroes. Because a lot of early writers of comic books had to mask their true self from the general public as well. Then again people still do that now even today. Mutter mutter another thing I think about sometimes is how golden age superheroes mainly DC feel so heavily inspired by performance mainly circus putting on a show you could say and early stories of heroes vigilantes like Robin Hood and Zorro for example. Jokes jokes Dick Grayson is the true embodiment spirt of the golden age superhero ha ha.)

Armoured capes while yes quite silly as a concept but I love it so much despite it not making any sort real life logical sense what so ever. God I love comic books so much and this level of fantastical logic to them.

This is one of my favourite panel from this issue. Like yes getting this to read this comic is like an early Christmas present for me.

Chris Samnee art is so good. Also nice to see the panels show the duality of Harvey Dent by just panels alone. Dick for most of this first outing has always been rushing on ahead without taking a second to think about it probably because his excitement is getting the better of him. Hmm, I do wonder if this will lead to further conflict between the him and Bruce in the future issues maybe.

Bruce is literally that meme with that lady and the small dog. I have only had Robin for a day and half and if anything happens to him I will kill everyone in this room and then myself.

Wow this first issue was so much fun and it honestly gave me a few laughs and giggles as well. Bruce and Dick bounce off each other so well and their banter is always so much fun to read.

It so nice to see a modern take on how they became the dynamic duo and the growing pains they had to go through to get to that point. Then we have the secondary theme of Bruce Wayne trying to figure out how to be a parent/father figure to young Dick Grayson.

This first issue is already off to a good start at showing how out of sink they’re right now. Even at the beginning Bruce own anxiety is on full display and he constantly overthinking things. As he tries to stay in control while trying to keep up with his overly enthusiastic child crime fighting partner.

Meanwhile Dick is quite energetic, playful and upbeat but while also still showing that he is still just a young child and young children tend to not always think things through all the time and rush into things without thinking. Another thing worth mentioning is how he is at the end of the day still a performer at heart and it shows in his fighting style truly you can never take the circus out of the boy indeed.

The again both of them are preforming in a way behind each of them is their own mask. The mask of the bat who true emotions are hidden behind stoicism and a solemn attitude. The mask of the Robin who true emotions are hidden behind jokes, laughter and an overly chipper smile. Hopefully as the story goes forward they will let each other masks slip off and truly begin to start opening up to one and another.

Overall reading this first issue made me feel like a kid again funnily enough. It has this level of childhood whimsy to it and Chris Samnee gorgeous artwork is such a treat to the eye. Rubs hard I cannot wait to see where Mark waid and Chris Samnee take this story in the remaining 11 issues. :3c

Also quick bonus fun fact did you know Chris Samnee Cover art for #1 references the old 1966 Batman cartoon opening it has a few of villains that appear on the cover of this issue that’s so neat. You can really tell he is such a fanboy ha ha.

[meyeselph]

Gwenpool: Desperate Misanthrope's Confused Angst

Showtime

Ms. Pool woke up in a familiar room. Not in Krakoa - there are no mutants around. This isn’t a story about that. Look, honestly, without an actual Gwenpool series and the constant breaks in her comics appearance I can’t even begin to give a fuck. I cancelled my marvel universe subbie. I might get back to my stories but single issues are iffy. I read fast and don’t pore over the artwork. So I get 10 minutes of entertainment for….FIVE DOLLARS? When did this happen? Jeezus.

Who even reads comics anymore?

Anyway, long story short, Gwen got out of bed and recognized the room as her old one from the “old times.” The dark times. The ‘not running around in pink and white outfits and shooting people’ times. She panicked (Been there. It is what it is though). The only way out of trauma is through.

She dressed in old clothes, immediately hit by old smells, she couldn’t help but cry. Was it all a dream? Have I gone insane (again)? All the usual self doubts cropped up. I mean, really, if you think this kind of thing didn’t pass through her mind regularly why don’t you transport yourself to a comic book universe?

Oh, you can’t?

Oh. It isn’t actually possible for you and I’m stupid for suggesting it. So, yeah. If it actually happened and you kept that attitude then the logical assumption for a normie is a mental breakdown. Trick for Gwen, though, is it's probably always been both real and her being nuts.

So she goes downstairs to the kitchen to figure out why this is happening and Evil Gwen is having cereal. Let's say cocoa puffs. I’ve been thinking about those recently. You ever remember cereal as something worth cherishing. Not as just bullshit that TV convinced you to want? God damn, now I want Cookie Crisp. Cookie Crisp wasn’t even ever that good. Why do I want Cookie Crisp?

So also sitting around the table were the faceless versions of her father, mother, and her brother. Just chilling. No BD. Seen Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind?

Yes, I know that references aren’t jokes - fuck you, I’m painting a picture and I CAN’T PAINT, THAT’S WHY THIS ISN’T A COMIC. Fucks sake. Anyway. So, Gwen is so creeped out that she just sits her butt down by Evil Gwen as if she’s the comforting presence here.

Her name’s too long. Let’s call Evil Gwen uh…….Gren. You know, like Grendel from Beowulf. I haven’t actually read Beowulf and this is all a little confusing but I'm solving problems here. Writing this is harder for me than you would think so it’s best to keep things flowing off the cuff. That’s the Gwenpool™ style anyway, isn’t it? Are you laughing yet? IMPROV. “YES AND” MY SHIT, READER!

“So, you ever really look into the retconned past thing, hun?” Gren said, moving her tongue around her food. Being gross as an attempt to be properly evil. She swallowed before continuing. “This is all I could really put together on short notice but i’m pretty sure what the future people created, all that stuff to try and trick you, it was all bullshit.”

“What do you mean? Are you trying to convince me to go all psycho like you again?” Gwen asked, exasperated, realizing she was now back in the whole ‘fuck with Gwen to decide her fate’ song and dance routine from the end of her first arc.

“Nah, not really.” Gren said. A hammer appeared in her hands out of nowhere and Gren swung it into their fake father’s head, snapping his neck..

“DAD!” Gwen instinctively cried as she saw her father’s body slump to the floor. Gren slapped Gwen’s face. “That’s it,” Gren said, “this is what the trick was.This is a poorly created character in a fictional story. Meant to manipulate you into attaching your concept of “father” to it. Even his finished version in the original comics run wasn’t THAT well drawn. Your dad read like a boomer’s idea of a responsible parent. You were going through a mental crisis and struggling to find purpose in life and his genius idea was get a shitty low paying job and suck it up?”

Gren turned to their brother, pushed his face to the table and smashed the back of his skull. . “Brother dearest, too. Going right along with their victim blaming. He gaslighted you as if what you were going through was just you being ��irresponsible.’ Bitch, people working a minimum wage job aren’t somehow not impoverished and miserable because they get some of that ‘honest work’ that folks keep badgering on about. Minimum wage work is occupied by many physically and mentally disabled people held hostage; they’re people society only pretends to care about. Then they turn it all into you acting like some world ending threat. No questions about what drove you to the edge in the first place. You are just ‘unstable,’ so you’re just a problem to be solved. They say, ‘Let’s all solve this girl being upset and on edge by ruining her concept of self, reality, and memory.’ Brilliant!”

Gwen barely processed this in horror. Gren then slit the poor facsimile of their mother’s throat while continuing to rant, “You see people die all the time, Gwen. Half of the time you are doing the killing. You do it because it’s in a story. In a story the NPCs don’t matter and, after all, your original schtick in the story was to be kill-crazy. The non-marketable characters can be replaced or retconned at the stroke of the artist’s pen.” Gren leans forward as she pulls a Gwenpool mask over Gwens face. “Then the writers convince you that you have some middle class milk toast family and you take abuse and subsume your emotional needs because the problem MUST be you. You aren’t ‘normal’ so you have to be fixed.”

Gwen wiped her eyes over the mask and sighed. A bit of fire filled her gut as she stared at Gren. “So fucking what? You want me to go on a killing spree and be a big time villain to get myself a nice, shiny permanent big bad status? That’s how I stay around right? Just build my legacy on bodies?”

Gren scoffed “You already lost that fight, girly. Where do you think we are? Because this ain’t Marvel Comics.”

Confused, Gwen blinked and tried reaching for the page margins, finding nothing. Wait….why was everything on this page so ill defined and undetailed? Wait? Why was the story in kinda wobbly third person past tense?

Gwen sighed “Oh. I’m in a fanfic. I guess the publishing fight is for another day eh?”

“My advice, personally,” Gren stated, “is that you consider the lobster.”

“Wait, what the fuck?”

Gren pulled aside the kitchen curtains revealing the face of a giant lobster, its claws tapping on the glass. The lobster muttering gutterally about personal responsibility.

“Because there’s a couple thousand giant lobsters outside that would like to claw you until you read their book.”

--

Scared of Girls

On the rooftop, Gren shoved a high powered rifle into Gwen’s hands while she handled the close range threats. So, this conversation they’re about to have is important. Sniping puts Gwen into a sort of zen space, so that’s a better task to keep her focused, after all.

“So, what? You wanted me to internalize that my “origin story” is bullshit? Okay, what does that accomplish, then?” Gwen asked in a bit of a deadpan. She was so tired today. Not really feeling her happy go lucky energy. More like a “happy go fucky” energy. It was hard to always be on a knife's edge. Still the rifle’s kick into her shoulder was satisfying as she blew through two of the creepy looking lobsters at once. “Also, why the lobsters?”

Gren considered this. “Okay, last question first, I had to experiment a lot and do a lot of research to construct this place for your learning and healing in fanfic form....These buddies are a failed experiment of mine that I repurposed because the fic needed more action. Isn’t that right, giant enemy crap?” As she peppers the nearest goon with a hail of shotgun pellets the entire throng of them burst out, sharply muttering about divine symbols.

“As for what I'm trying to teach you, it’s that you aren’t reaching your potential.” Gren grumpily huffed.

“Duh,” Gwen reloads, “I mean you just killed a mannequin version of the voice in my head that says that to me every day.” one of those crustaceans talks about feminine symbolism while she decides on her next target.

“Not like fake daddy’s ‘Be a responsible member of society by paying your taxes’ type of potential. I mean your creative and emotional potential.” Gren flipped off the slavering throng of monsters, noticing they were starting to keep their distance from the roof.

“I never did finish that fanfic idea I had.” Gwen mused.

“God, don’t mention that,” Gren thrusts a finger at Gwenpool. “Not that I don’t respect fanfic, but when comic book writers make you and Kamala squee about fanfiction to try and relate to “the kids” it comes across as so condescending.”

“Really? I mean…..I'm sure it’s meant as support for the concept?”

“Most fucking superhero comics are just legalized fanfiction! The people who created the characters are either long gone or working on someone else’s characters! They just think they are so much better because they got fucking paid. They can’t imagine themselves as on the same playing field as fanficcers even though most of them have the same level of connection to the roots of the work as anyone else.” Gren groused loudly as she seemed to pull Reed Richards out of nowhere.

Confused, Reed looked around until his eyes met Gwen’s.“Oh great, you again.” Reed groaned as he turned to survey the piles of lobster gibs while Gwen cheered the lobster forces’ retreat with a resounding “EDF, EDF!”. The scattered creatures skittered amongst the bland scenery. It looked like a suburban neighborhood but someone forgot to color in the sky….or write that the sky had color. A castle hung out in the distance breaking up the generic normalcy and lay cloaked in shadow despite being surrounded by an endless white void.

“And…..black….you?” Reed pointed to Gren, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, I have an evil future self….well I stopped that future so it’s an….evil...alternate timeline self?” Gwen said with a nervous chuckle, abandoning the kill quest for the minute and rested her rifle on the roof.

“Ah. Yeah I’ve been down that road. It’s a rather common occurrence. Multiverse being what it is.” Reed laughed heartily while putting his hands on his hips.

“I’m not sure I’m evil, honestly,” Gren interjected. “I think I’m just really fucking grumpy and I’m slightly more gung-ho on the homicide. Considering Gwen’s already one of the more kill crazy characters on the roster it’s not that much of a distinction.” Gren flipped her cape. “My main distinction is I don’t like that meme from The Incredibles! You can just make it so the cape detaches automatically when it’s pulled hard enough!”

“You could still have it tangled up around your face.” Reed pointed out in his standard know-it-all fashion.

“Don’t make me go into fuck wife mode, stretch.” Gren spat. “Okay, anyway, so I brought him here to illustrate a point. Reed. Explain particle physics to me as a laymen.”

“Huh...i’m not sure why but okay. Particle physics (also known as high energy physics) is a branch of physics that studies the nature of the particles that constitute matter and radiation. Although the word particle can refer to various types of very small objects (e.g. protons, gas particles, or even household dust), particle physics usually investigates the irreducibly smallest detectable particles and the fundamental interactions necessary to explain their behaviour. In current understanding, these elementary particles are excitations of the quantum fields that also govern their interactions. The currently dominant theory explaining these fundamental particles and fields, along with their dynamics, is called the Standard Model. Thus, modern particle physics generally investigates the Standard Model and its various possible extensions, e.g. to the newest "known" particle, the Higgs boson, or even to the oldest known force field, gravity.” Reed rattled this off rather mechanically.

Gren then took out her phone and showed Gwen the Wikipedia article on “Particle Physics,” which is naturally the same words that Reed had regurgitated above, just without any formatting and, again, on a phone.

“Reed can’t be a genius in any subject unless he’s written by a genius in that subject. That’s how stories work. Everyone is limited by the understanding and capabilities of the writer. Same with your origin story and all the people you’ve interacted with. If you are as ‘meta’ as you think you are then you have to realize that you aren’t actually talking to people. You are talking to the writer. Dr. Strange didn’t rewrite your existence to be a part of the Marvel Universe. As far as most of Marvel continuity goes Dr. Strange was never there and doesn’t know or care about his MCU casting…..Hey Reed, buzz off please before the conversation pivots to why you haven’t cured all known diseases.”

Reed looked a little surprised but then pulled out a teleportation device (of course he has one) and blipped away with a shrug.

“How awkward is that going to be when he enters the MCU after Kamala is already introduced with a very similar power set?” Gwen chuckled.

“Keep up the way you’ve been going and you’ll never see it. I’m not exactly expecting a young blonde girl casting call for Deadpool 3 and that’s your best bet.” Gren snarked. Gwen winced with a sigh.

“I don’t get what I'm doing wrong. I have a fanbase comparable to some of the characters that have already shown up but I can’t even get comics written about me most of the time. An MCU push seems unlikely. They would literally have to deal with completely recontextualizing my powers and gimmick”

“Let’s ask her what you should do.” Gren motioned her way to the suddenly appearing long hair future Gwen, looming over them like The Attack of the 50 foot Woman for some reason. Dwarfing the roof they are on. Let’s call her BIGwen!

--

Gold Guns Girls

As BIGwen acclimated to her surroundings she stubbed her toe on a car, dramatically flipping it so that it took out a few more lobsters before caving in a nearby house. The lamentations about clean rooms soaring as the remaining couple dozen of them attempt to clean up some of the bodies of their fallen kin. The large and sort-of-in-charge Gwen hissed in pain and adjusted her boot. Getting her balance as best as possible she muttered curses that traveled rather well considering the lung capacity of a giant.

“You know,” Gren started, “I wasn’t expecting much from our previous uses of the ‘make her big for emphasis’ trick, but it really does only work as a vague ghostly background element. I didn’t just want it to be ‘oh, here's a third Gwen for the conversation, though. Would lack umph.”

“ Yeah, I get it, but staring at my own giant taint is unsettling.” Gwen muttered.

“I’d still, hit it.” Gren grinned, then immediately got punched in the arm. “OWWW! Look, I’m the evil one here and we’re in a fanfic. I’m allowed to make internet fetish jokes.”

“And I’m allowed to hit you for it.”.

“Dirty lampshading goody two shoes. Don’t act like half your fanbase isn’t thirsty. It’s “insert current year argument”, all art is sexy to someone.” Gren complained back,rubbing her arm before hopping off the roof. Gwen followed while listening as patiently as she could considering how many changes in topic her evil-caped self is going through to get to her point. “This chick is the reason you’ve been on the path of good girl. Some vague idea that in the future everything will work out for the best. HEY, DOWN HERE, BIG SHOW!” Gren waved at BIGwen and she looked down curiously.

“Yeah what??” BIGwen responded in a booming and agitated tone. Honestly, being in this fic made every version of Gwen a little grumpy.

“How’s she supposed to be a popular hero that makes it into the MCU and has a stable publication history?” Gren asked.

“Fuck if I know.” Came BIGwen’s response. “Have you tried growing your hair out?”

“Rub it in,” Gwen muttered under her breath, “I’m not gonna lie, I’m kind of depressed now.” Gwen said as she sat on an abandoned car.

Gren hopped on the roof of the car, patting Gwen’s shoulder before squatting with enough force to flex the car’s shocks like a rocking chair just to amuse herself. “Future “good” Gwen wasn’t an actual plot point, it was a call to action to the fans to make fanfic like this and support the character outside of the actual Canon. Chris didn’t trust that Marvel would treat the character right. That, and your obsession with getting a new book, are both the writer’s attempt to turn a marketing tactic into fan engagement. If you want to be real then that makes the fans want you to be real even more, too.”

Gwen sighs heavily and leans her chin on one hand. “I mean...the time traveling through the life of an NPC fan complete with a Never Ending Story reference was a bit sappy even by the standard we sometimes set...damn it it really was just kind of a fan manipulation trick wasn’t it?”

BIGwen Sat down on the street next to them and crossed her legs. “Hey, little me. Don’t get too down. I mean it worked for the most part. You have a healthy cult following. Characters have survived on less and there are worse things to be known for then as a fan first character”

“But I have to fight for attention all the damn time, though. It’s so easy for Wade with his fucking meme bullshit. He even gets runoff enthusiasm from me. Jeff the land shark is all over Oldpool online” Gwen felt rather heavy and tired all of a sudden. Marvel editorial forcing a gun to your head is not a fun way to be.

“All that fight is hell on the fanbase too.” Gren sighed. “Advocating for shit, getting crumbs and being expected to accept it while Disney lavishes all the attention based on some bullshit numbers game. Even if you make it into the MCU will it be a Batroc style cameo with obligatory ‘killed off in case we don’t feel like paying the actor again later.’ Will it be an emotionally rounded character or an ambush bug style joke? The thing is. You're Not the one fighting and you never were.”

“The fuck do you mean?”

“This version of her doesn’t know?” BIGwen whimpered.

“You aren’t real, Gwen.”

--

Head Like a Haunted House

“No….we aren’t having this conversation. Fuck you fuck you i’m not a fucking Nihlist and i’m not going to do this right now.” Gwen said as she scrambled off of the car and pulled out some guns. BIGwen then picked her up off the ground.

“You need to hear this, Gwen,” BIGwen boomed. “The gimmick has run its course. It’s fucking with your canon. You’re never going to be a marketable character keeping up a half fourth-wall Kayfabe”

Gren climbed onto BIGwen’s Shoulders and perched over Gwen all menacing like. “You need to listen. I’ve been trying to ease you into this. Making things more meta slowly until you were ready but it was never going to be easy.”

One of Gwen’s guns was fired from it’s holster and pierced one of BIGwen’s fingers. BIGwen screamed and her grip loosened. Soon Gwen was on the move running up her arm and firing at Gren, who dodged like the nimble and cute badass she is. “Don’t do this Gwen. Just because it doesn’t matter to the comic version of you doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter.”

“I’m a real person god damn it! I read the comics out there! I came in! That’s why I know shit I shouldn't know. That’s what I am! THAT’S ALL I AM!” Gwen shrieked as she pulled out a sword from hammer-space and decapitated BIGwen. Suddenly a mess of colored streamers and a pile of Mickey Mouse merch tumbled out. Look, I am busy right now. Gwen is still slashing at my ass. I'm not going to explain it.

For some reason now the remaining lobsters were helping Gren. For Gwen’s own good you understand. This is proof that I’m right for some reason.

Gwen pulled out a revolver, firing pumpkin sized holes in lobsters who were still wailing about self actualization. She fully planned on shoving a sword up her evil self’s ass and getting rid of this doppelganger shit for good. Which is total bullshit by the way. She totally just cut off Gren’s leg because what the fuck you mean I’m not real? I’m going to be real all over your corpse.

Gren didn’t really think that was even a good comeback and also thought you should probably say it instead of meta willing the smack talk into existence, otherwise this fanfic is going to read like trash. Also, Gren’s leg wasn’t actually cut off. In a puff of smoke it is revealed that the cut off leg is a log and her leg is fine. Gren is a ninja now, believe it.

Gwen proceeded to do a sick ass CQC judo throw on Gren and then grab her cape and wrap it around her face like Reed suggested. Callbacks for the win! Callbacks to Checkov’s gun ideas always lead to victory in fights! She then totally shot at her and such.

But the bullet was caught by the cape because the cape was a symbiote! That’s right Gren is also GRENOM!...boy that sounds stupid. Anywho, the cape was no longer around her face and the fight continued and Gren now ALSO had extra powers and special wizard-symbiote armor (that would only show up in the MCU version if Marvel finally got the Sony characters back). The meta powers work like shit in text but this would be really good in CGI or animation if Marvel wanted to adapt this fic and give the writer lots of money. Gren still has more experience with them, though, and Gwen can’t really just kill her way out of this fic so she has to just let the story play out.

…...eh?....oh Gwen’s crying. I love/am you girl but we gotta work on the crying. Fucks sake this is harder than I thought. I’m depressed now too. Well I'll try to get the writing back on track so you guys can see what is going on. Even the lobsters are minding their manners now. Chill vibes, guys.

“The marvel character page for Gwenpool says, and I quote:

Gwenpool arrived in the Marvel Universe from the “real world,” but has wasted no time in making the most of her time in her fictional universe. Using her knowledge of comics to her advantage, Gwenpool causes and solves problems for her fellow heroes.”

Gren drags a lobster corpse slowly toward Gwen and sits on its tail as she talks to her. Taking her time to really scrape the lobster against the ground, smearing the gore on the pavement. Not that it was heavy for her or anything. Totally still has that symbiote, which would make moving it easy. Totally wasn’t a detail added in the second revision of the fic slightly before the lobsters were added.

“The words “Real world” are in quotation marks in that wiki. Real people don’t make it into comics because fiction isn’t real. Half of your versions barely make use of the ‘real person’ gimmick because it’s too meta by half and not every writer wants to waste time justifying it. So they just treat it like Deadpool’s medium awareness. Which it mostly is.”

“I really am just a fucking rip off distaff character.” Gwen moans. “Just a Gwen combined with a Pool. I’m worse than the Batman who laughs. I never mattered because I was never real”

“Fuck don’t say that. You were made with love and care by a team of creators who took a weird offshoot idea and built out a compelling metafiction idea and a likeable protagonist off of it. They just didn’t have the time and foresight to go far enough.” Gren sighed.

“Far enough?” Gwen sniffed as she was pulled up to her feet and dragged toward one of the big castles. As they walked Gren kicked along a Mickey Mouse doll that had rolled out of BIGwen’s severed head. Every time it bounced it cheerfully said ‘hahah. I love you!’

“Too much haha, not enough trauma. You’re not just a joke character.” Gren said as she kicked the Mickey doll into the big front door of the castle. The shadowy thing of course lighting up and being all fantasy and shit as the door opened.

“Well I did end both of my comic runs pretty mopey.”

“Damn right you did. When the jokes run thin they run to your real bread and butter. You’re an empathy machine.” As Gren shoves Gwen through the gate they are swallowed up in the castle, going dark again. “Let’s getcha sad clown on.”

--

Never there

“See, what evil me should have been telling you about in the original run is how to find meaning and purpose when technically nothing means anything. Comic book characters live in a world without real death and suffering. It’s all a puppet show version of real pain and real emotion meant to bring that out of an audience.” Gren opined as they walked through a black void to a couch floating in a nothing area lit only by the static of an old TV.

“Can we turn on a light?” Gwen asked as she sat on the couch. Gren sat on another recliner that suddenly appeared and put her feet up.

“Fuck off. Ambiance is a thing. We aren’t having a ‘lights on with something fun on the TV’ conversation. So look, I am not really ‘evil gwen.’ I’m half an author insert and half a plot device. If we are talking about the reality of the story you are basically talking to yourself. I am speaking about the things you don’t want to admit to yourself. You know, you’ve seen this kind of story sorta... right?” Gren picked up the remote and frustratedly changed channels between a bunch of vaguely illustrative footage on the TV, not finding anything that worked. A lot of black and white footage of trains for some reason. Just what comes to mind when I think of documentary footage? Weird.

“I am not sure how to illustrate this shit visually and this is a text story anyway so I would have to explain the illustration,” Gren griped.

“I basically get it. It’s not that uncommon a trope.” Gwen nodded.

“Because of the level of meta we are on right now we have to really acknowledge that you are basically an author insert, too. I mean, to a certain extent every version of you is more the writer that is working with your character at the time than a set character.” Gren said as she settled on a visual of Gwen being pushed out the window by her own narration text in the original comic run. When all else fails, resort to footage from the last story. That way people can look it up online!

“Right here is where the character crystallized in the mind of the author of the current fic we are in. A vague suicide metaphor wrapped up in the flavor of self destructive escapism. Your parents in the story thought it was a suicide attempt on at least some level. This is serious business. Not just a girl who doesn’t like work and can’t finish her fanfic. In this comic you are built on this understanding. The writer of this fic has ADHD and autism. So his version of you more or less has it, too. Writers bring themselves with them into their work.”

Gwen nods and takes a deep breath. “I….I can feel it. Like the world is closing around you. You aren’t built for anything that anyone wants from you. The one thing you really believe in, the one thing that really defines you, the stories in your head…..it’s just not enough.

You can’t trust you’ll ever make it with writing because you can barely write. You barely have the energy to do anything but wish that you weren’t you. What if someone actually listened? Actually believed in you and whisked you away somewhere else where the world would fit your needs? What if you were someplace you could be someone else, someone strong and confident?”

“Yeah. Like a funny anti hero in a comic for instance.” Gren nodded. “But the original comics sort of left the theme on the table. They were captured by the misconception of Gwen as the problem and not a person who needed help. All that desperation that real fans of the character might feel just bundled up into love for this character that really ‘gets’ them but Marvel doesn’t ‘get’ the character. They won't use her. They won’t go past vaguely gesturing at her mental issues and moving on. They saved the angst for Wandavision.” Gren scoffs.

“I mean the show was okay but they literally have a character built entirely on the theme of escapism and trauma. One that’s custom built for mind-screw visuals and reality bending plots and they think she’s just a lazy fangirl who really likes guns that they can sit beside Deadpool sometimes and stick in the X-Men’s bloated background character roster when they don’t need her.”

Gren leads Gwen off the couch and deeper into the void where a door to a bedroom waits. A room like her own, absolutely slopping over with old toys of comic book characters. An unclean messy space in a run-down house that smells faintly of cigarette smoke. Huddled in bed, reading an 80s era X-men comic with a flashlight, is a 12 year old Gwen.

“This is never going to be canon but this is the version of Gwen in this fic. She can’t stop crying at school. Things that shouldn’t be hard are so hard and she can’t explain why. Everyone says she’s making excuses. Meanwhile her mother is fucked out of her mind on pain killers and her step father killed himself last year ‘cleaning his gun’ while drunk. You know exactly what is on her mind right now?” Gren says as she gestures at the girl.

“I wish the superheroes would save me from this.”

“They won’t. They can’t. They were never meant to.” Gren Slams the door loudly on the scene.

“That is the emotional core of Gwenpool in this fic. The desperation that so many of the fans down here in the fucking muck of the real world feel. Poor and emotionally unfulfilled. Confused and vulnerable. If Disney and Marvel gave two fucking shits about people like that they wouldn’t waste as many stories as they do. They wouldn’t just use untold wealth to make expensive escapist stories with the military. Their gestures toward progressive ideas that they occasionally make in their stories would be THE ENTIRE POINT of their stories and the actual thing they used that money for instead of lobbying the government to keep Mickey Mouse out of the public domain.

“Disney has the power yet they save a fucking miniscule fraction of who they could. Saving people doesn’t make money.”

--

When I Get To The Green Building

Gren stormed through the void. The scene disintegrated around her as Gwen followed. Both now in a bit of a sour mood but with newfound determination.

“Come to think of it. Why is the fucking Hulk getting to fight for social justice in the comics? Why are they making a gay alternate universe Captain America? Why are they grasping at straws so hard to find characters that get to advocate and I am just sitting on a fucking island being grumpy?” Gwen groused. “I’m pretty sure I’m pansexual….at least in this fic. I could advocate for a bunch of shit at once.”

“You have a youth fanbase, a unique story and you technically aren’t an alternate universe version of fucking anything no matter how many people still think you are a Stacey. They made a fucking ‘for the fans’ character and then neglected it. Presumably because some fucking money making metric didn’t pan out despite the comics just being an MCU test kitchen and IP farm anyway.”

“You’re a fucking check mark on a ledger. I don’t even know if anyone technically created Gwenpool as a whole and Disney/Marvel can give the character to whoever they want to do whatever they want completely separate from what the fanbase wants and needs because she isn’t established. The IP landlords have spoken. The fans haven’t risen to enough ‘buy my merch’ calls to action to invest more resources. So tease endlessly until that changes.”

“Gah. Now I'm actually as pissed as you are.” Gwen said as she started fiddling with her guns. “Who do I kill?”

“We can’t do shit. You’re not even a character at this point. You are a meme for an underused character.” Gren smirked all evil like. “See but that’s it. You aren’t just a meme. You’re a MEME.”

“Uhm...I don't follow.”

“Like the concept of Justice. Gwenpool is an idea. Defined entirely by how people who engage with the idea choose to engage with it. The IP law means Disney owns Gwenpool but they don’t own how Gwenpool is perceived. Just like we as a people decide what justice is through popular consent we also decide what Gwenpool is. You see they made a character for the fans…..in my opinion that means the fans can do as they like with it even if it makes Disney uncomfortable.”

“I mean they can’t even stop porn of their characters just because of the sheer volume of the problem. I suppose people could do whatever.” Gwen nodded.

“Exactly. So the fans should just fucking Occupy Gwenpool!” Gren said as she flipped her cape dramatically with a mad smile on her face. That’s right. She was Dirtbag Leftist Gwen all along!

“Squat on that IP. Make Gwenpool a mental health advocate. Make her an LGBTQ activist. Make her fight for social and financial justice so hard that Bruce Banner looks like a poser. Make her talk shit about politicians who put their career ahead of the people. Do all the shit that makes the comicsgate crowd sad. Keep politics in our stories! Rally around that pink and white ass so hard they have to notice and then tie it all to the fact that Disney has great power and with great power they take no responsibility for how shitty the world is.”

“ If they are going to fuck Gwenpool fans they gotta learn Gwenpool fans fuck back. We have already proven we can make all kinds of cool shit. Let’s get serious and make more, harder, faster! Get a hashtag or some shit. They can't DMCA all of us! GWEN IS OURS WE JUST HAVE TO REACH OUT AND TAKE IT. Then they either respect the character and her fans or they just hit a PR disaster.”

“Marvel/Disney neglects fan focused cult character themed protest movements. Proves they are only progressive when it makes them money. They’re so worried about Mickey ending up in the public domain? We’re the public domain! After our entire lives stannin their characters and buyin their merch building them from an animation house into a juggernaut they are just another weight on top of the boot on our necks. They have to take responsibility!” At this point Gren is pretty much ranting maniacally and neglecting the actual writing of the story so this is Gwen taking over to wrap up.

Guys I may not be ‘the real Gwen’ but really, isn’t the version of Gwen that actually came from the real world all of us? Isn’t Gwenpool really the Gwens we made along the way? We could easily bring a little heroism and chaos to the real world (at least to the internet) if we really tried. Put the fear of God into some IP landlords and fight for some cool people that society is screwing over, too.

Prove that even in the fandom abyss people aren’t as powerless as they seem. Use that internet comic fan mobbing for something besides giving Zack more money. Disney is gearing up for their next IP fight for Mickey in 2024. Seems like a fine time for IP themed protests. For now we just need to spread the word that our needs are more important than their profits.

It’s been real. It’s been long. It’s been a real long time coming…..

But I finally finished my fanfic.

See ya, true believers.

[youreacowgirllikeme]

Blind Date

 

Note: just an idea I had, hope you like it. some soft fluffiness, but also smut bc I’m still h word for Jake, especially after how he looked tonight on tv.

Pairing: Jake Tapper x reader

 Warnings: smut, NSFW

 

(sorry for eventual typos, I wrote this in a bit of a frenzy)

enjoy

 

“You look horrible. “Abby stated matter-of-factly as she sat down in the restaurant chair across from you.

 “I missed you too, great to see you, thanks. “you responded, not even bothering to argue with her.

Abby was your best friend since college, if she said you looked horrible it was either a joke or a fact. Considering the way she was looking at you, probably the latter.

“Hard week at work?”

 You let out a tired huff.

“You have no idea. We got this new client who booked us for a nation-wide tv ad, and they’re so incredibly demanding. I’ve been working overtime for three weeks straight, it’s a miracle they didn’t call me in today.”

Your monthly Saturday brunch with Abby was sacred, work be damned.

Your friend was giving you a worried look across the table. “Well, I’m glad they didn’t, you deserve a day off.”

 “Enough of my sad life, how is it going over at Fake News?” you joked.

 “Amazing actually. You won’t believe it, but I’ve heard through the grapevine that they’re thinking about offering me John’s Sunday spot on Inside Politics. Can you imagine, my own hour, as an actual anchor. It’s nothing official yet, but I’m so excited.”

 “Oh my god, Abby, that’s awesome. I’m so proud of you. We should celebrate.” you exclaimed, beckoning a waiter to order two glasses of champagne.

 Abby gave you a warm smile.
“Thank you, babe. But let me be honest, I’m worried about you. You look exhausted, even your voice sounds tired. When was the last time you did something actually relaxing?”

 “I’ve watched a movie, like, a week ago. And I do yoga, at least sometimes.” You tried to argue, not entirely sure if you wanted to convince Abby or yourself.

 A smirk settled over your friend’s face, and she looked at you like she just had the most brilliant idea ever. You did not like that look at all, it usually meant trouble.

 “Well todays your lucky day, because I know just what you need to de-stress a bit.”

 You just raised an eyebrow at her. 
“Care to elaborate, genius?”

 “You, my friend, need to get laid.”

You snorted. “Fun times, Abbs, you almost got me,”


“I’m serious, Y/N, when was the last time you had sex?”

“Okay, it’s been a while, but I’m fine. I don’t need a man to interfere with the little free time I have. And it’s not like the streets are full of men chasing me. I don’t have time to date, and, like I said, I’m totally fine with the way things are at the moment.” You tried your very best not to sound defensive. 

The expression on Abby’s face told you everything you needed to know. She didn’t buy a single word coming out of your mouth.
“Y/N, trust me when I tell you, blowing off a little steam would do wonders for your stress level. And maybe you’d even meet someone nice. And, lucky for you, I know just the guy. He’s someone I work with, and I think you’d get along perfectly.”

 “You’re not actually suggesting setting me up on a blind date.” You couldn’t believe your friend. The last thing you needed was an evening full of awkward small talk with some boring, sleek CNN guy.

 “Come on, Y/N, take a leap of faith. What’s the worst thing that could happen?”

+++

 (One week later)

 “I can’t believe I actually agreed.” You murmured to yourself as you rummaged through your closet, looking for an outfit to wear on that damned date Abby bullied you into.

You thought about the peaceful evening you could have had, curled up on the sofa with a glass of wine, maybe getting some work done.

But it was too late to back down now.

 “Let’s just get this over with” you told yourself, applying some lipstick as if it was war paint. “Let’s hope that the guy is at least good-looking.”

 The restaurant Abby sent you to was nice enough, a small and intimate place, perfect for a date. You couldn’t wait to have your first glass of wine, because you could feel your nervousness increasing with each passing minute.

You entered the restaurant, looking for the third table on the window side that Abby had described to you…and directly turned around, practically fleeing through the door again as soon as you set eyes on the man sitting there.

 Back outside, you took your phone out of your bag and furiously dialed Abby’s number. She picked up right away, but you were shouting at her before she could even say a word.

“You better tell me that you did not set me up with Jake fucking Tapper.”

Was she out of her mind? This was the Jake Tapper, the face of CNN, hell, the face of the media in this country. What the fuck were you supposed to talk to him about.

But your friend just chuckled at you through the phone.
“When you saw him on TV some months ago, you said he was your type. Plus, he’s intelligent, funny, and single. Perfect for you. And now stop making a fool out of yourself and go in there. You got this, girl. Love you, bye.”
And with that, she hung up.

 You took a deep breath and tried to calm your nerves. You could not just leave now, and stand up Mr. Breaking News himself. So you pocketed your phone again, squared your shoulders and went back into the restaurant.

You made your way over to the table, coming to a stop in front of it. The man sitting there looked up to you and smiled. And wow, what a beautiful smile it was, sincere, warm and inviting, taking over his entire face.

“Hi.” You said, trying to sound confident.

“I’m Y/N, Abby’s friend.”

 

“It’s so nice to meet you, I’m Jake. I’m working with Abby, but she probably already told you that much.”

“She did, but I’ll be honest, I know you, of course. Big fan of your show.”

God, why did you just say that. He was probably going to think you were some kind of crazy fangirl now.

 But he just continued to smile his open, friendly smile at you.
“Always happy to hear that.” He chuckled, pointing to the opposite chair. “Do you want to sit down?”

 “Yes, of course, sorry.” You said, feeling silly because you totally forgot that you were still standing. You quickly sat down and tried your best to appear calm and collected, even if your insides were in turmoil.

 “Would you care for some wine? They have a pretty impressive list, I could pick one for us if you don’t mind.” Jake asked.

 “Wine sounds fantastic. I love it, but I’m not really an expert, so go ahead.”

 Jake took some reading glasses out of the pocket of his suit jacket and put them on his nose. 
While he was studying the wine list, you took your time to study him instead. He appeared to be in his late forties, so there was an age difference of probably 15 to 20 years. You didn’t mind that at all, older men had always been more your type.

He had a really handsome face, kind eyes that looked even better when he had those glasses on, and you loved his salt-and-pepper hair. He was wearing a light blue dress shirt with a dark grey suit jacket. You caught your mind wandering to how he might look underneath his clothes and gave yourself a mental slap on the wrist. This was your first date, no need to get ahead of yourself.

“Everything alright over there?”

 Shit, he had caught you staring.

 “Yes, sorry, I zoned off for a moment. I had a stressful week at work.”

“Oh, yes, Abby told me you’re working in advertising. Any interesting projects at the moment?”

You went on and chatted about work a bit. You were fascinated by what he was doing, and taken aback by the confident, yet humble way he was talking about it. This was absolutely not the behavior you were expecting from the leading anchorman of the nations most renowned network. He wasn’t arrogant or self-centered at all and you were definitely charmed.

The wine Jake ordered arrived with your starters, and soon after you had your first few sips you felt some of the initial nervousness fading away.

Soon, the conversation was flowing freely, and you discovered that Abby was right, you really did get along perfectly. Jake was incredibly funny in a dry and witty way and his sarcastic remarks made you laugh more than once. You also discovered your shared interest in graphic novels and argued a while about weather DC or Marvel was the superior comic universe.

Jake showed you one of his own cartoons on his phone, and with each moment you found yourself more drawn to the man in front of you.
At some point his hand started to lightly brush against yours on the table, and each touch sent a warm feeling through your chest.

You talked some more over dessert, had some more wine and overall, a really good time.

The alcohol gave you a pleasant, fuzzy feeling, and the desire to just get up and crawl on Jakes lap grew with each look he gave you.

 “Excuse me, Ma’am, Sir, were closing up now.” A passing waiter told you and put the check on the table.

 “Let me take care of that, please.” Jake said, taking out his wallet. You just thanked him and enjoyed the view of him putting on his glasses again to read the check.

 He really was a perfect gentleman, you thought to yourself, as he got up to hold your coat and then the door for you on your way out.


“I really had a wonderful evening.” you said softly, as the both of you were standing on the sidewalk in front of the restaurant. Jake shot you another one of his brilliant smiles, and you could feel your heart beating faster.
“Me too.” He replied. “I really enjoyed spending time with you, and I’d like to see you again.”

Now your heart was almost jumping out of your chest, and you could feel your own smile taking over your face.
“I’d love that.”

 Jake took one step closer, now standing so close you could almost feel the warmth radiating off his body. One of his hands came up to tuck a lock of hair behind your ear, his thumb slowly stroking over your jaw. His touch sent goosebumps all over your skin, and you slightly parted your lips, looking him directly in the eyes. They were warm, and dark, and you felt like you could get lost in them. And then he leaned down and pressed a kiss to your mouth.

It felt incredible, a kind of warmth that was totally unrelated to the wine spreading through your body, your skin prickling where his hand was still on your face.

You put your hands on his arms and kissed him back, enjoying the feeling of his soft lips against yours. He still tasted slightly like red wine, and you wanted nothing more than to explore the rest of his body with your mouth just as thoroughly.

 First date, you reminded yourself, and broke free from the kiss before your lust-clouded brain could make you do something you might regret later. You glanced up at Jake, who looked at you with an unreadable expression. Then, after what felt like forever, he finally spoke.

“Could I maybe have your number?”

 

“Of course.” You said, with maybe a bit much enthusiasm, but Jake didn’t seem to mind. You quickly typed your number into his phone, and just as you were finished, the cab you had called earlier was arriving.

Jake held the door open for you, and shot you one last, beautiful smile. “Good night, Y/N, get home safe.”

“Thank you for the wonderful evening, Jake. Good night.”

 You closed the door and the taxi drove off. You already missed his face as soon as he was out of sight, and you turned around to watch his receding figure through the rear window of the taxi.

Great, you were already down bad after one date. The man really got to you, and you desperately hoped that you would hear from him soon.

 As soon as you were home, you really felt the effects of the wine, so you quickly went to bed to get some sleep. Just before you were nodding off, you sent Abby a quick message.

 

You were right, he is perfect. THANKS xxxx

 

When Abby answered five minutes later, you were already asleep.

 Told you so ;) xxxx

+++

 When you woke up the next morning, there was a new message from an unknown number on your phone. Your heart made a flip in your chest, and you opened it as fast as you could.

 

Hi, this is Jake. It’s probably way too soon to text you, but I just wanted to let you know, again, what a great time I had yesterday. If you’d be up to it, I’d really like to see you again soon. Let me know if that would be alright with you. And have a nice Saturday :)

 

He had already texted you. That meant he didn’t think that you were crazy, or awkward, and that he wasn’t just acting nice, he genuinely wanted to see you again. You were filled with a giddy sort of happiness, and decided to answer him right away, there was no need to play any games here. Leap of faith, just like Abby said.

 

Good Morning Jake, I really enjoyed yesterday as well. I’d love to spend some more time together; would tomorrow evening be too spontaneous? I could make dinner, to return the favor since you paid yesterday ;) my place at eight?

 

As soon as you hit the send button you started getting anxious again. What if tomorrow was too soon? What if he thought you were being too eager?

“Stop it, Y/N!” you said out loud to interrupt your mental spiral. You wouldn’t make a fool out of yourself for this man, even if he was handsome, and intelligent, and funny. No way.

 But as you were standing in the kitchen five minutes later and heard your phone chiming from the other room, you were there in the matter of seconds to read the new message.

 

Tomorrow sounds perfect, just text me the address. I’ll bring the wine. xx Jake

 

You clutched your phone to your chest, the biggest, goofy smile on your face.

 You spent the remaining day extensively cleaning your flat, stressing out, going grocery shopping and stressing out some more. You face-timed Abby and bullied her into helping you pick out an outfit, since she technically was the one who got you into this mess in the first place.

Jake was occupying your mind whatever you did, and when you finally got into your bed that night, all you could think about was how his lips had felt against yours. Those thoughts sent a hot, burning feeling down between your legs and when you finally touched your pussy, you were already so wet and aroused that it only took you minutes until you reached your peak, Jakes name falling from your lips.

+++

To say you were a nervous wreck the next day would be an understatement. When you woke up, you decided to watch some TV to get yourself a bit of distraction. An ad was currently playing, and so you decided to check your mails first.

 

“Good Morning from Washington, where the State of our Union is in turmoil over the latest…”

 

Your head snapped up at the sound of the familiar voice coming from your TV, the voice that occupied your mind ever since your blind date on Friday. You had totally forgotten that Sunday morning meant Jake Tapper time on CNN, because usually you were either asleep or at work at 9 am. But now you took your time to really appreciate the man on your TV.

He looked way more serious than the Jake you got to know, no smile, just a stern expression and a dark suit and tie. Which didn’t mean that he wasn’t looking totally hot, and his intelligent and sharp remarks did nothing to calm your fluttering heart or the heat in your lower abdomen. You definitely wanted him, bad.


This is getting ridiculous, you thought to yourself, and turned the TV off to take a very long shower.

Afterwards, you spent the whole day pacing around your flat and annoying Abby with numerous text messages and another two face time calls. She assured you multiple times that everything would be just fine and by the time it was 7:45 p.m. the food was in the oven and you sat on your couch, waiting for the doorbell to ring.

When it finally did, you all but ran to the door only to stop and force yourself to take a couple of calming breaths before opening it. Jake stood outside, a bottle of red wine in his hand. He looked amazing with his white dress shirt and dark grey slacks, but again it was his smile that got your attention, he looked just as happy to see you as you were feeling.

Out of a sudden impulse, you surged forward and threw your arms around the man, hugging him and burying your head in his chest. He seemed surprised, but still put his free arm around you, embracing you.

“Hi.” You whispered, suddenly shy, but as you looked up to meet Jakes eyes you could see nothing but warmth in them. “Hi.” He replied, pressing a kiss to your hair. “It’s good to see you.”

 You slowly let go of him so he could actually enter your apartment. He followed you inside and you fetched some glasses for the wine. You talked about everything and anything over dinner, family, football, the book Jake was working on. You listened closely, and so did he as you told him about your passion for art and music. He even asked you to put some of your favorite records on as you moved over to the couch after dinner.

You were still talking animatedly but having Jake in closer physical proximity made it increasingly hard to focus on what he was saying.

Instead, your eyes and mind wandered to his hands. Without thinking, you reached out and put one of your hands into his, He stopped speaking, and looked at you. You could see the kind look in his eyes being replaced by something darker, more passionate.

 He spoke again, voice lower this time. “I’ve been thinking about you and our kiss without a break since yesterday. And just as long I’ve wanted to kiss you again, touch you again.”

He reached out, cupped your jaw with one of his hands and slowly ran his thumb over your bottom lip. It took every willpower you had not to suck his thumb into your mouth. This man had you hot and aching for him with just a single touch and a couple of words.

“Is that something you want me to do, Y/L?” his voice was only a low rumble now.

 

“Oh my god yes. Yes please.” You whispered, not really trusting your own voice to come out steady enough. 
The hand on your face slid to the back of your head and you uttered a surprised gasp as Jake just grabbed a fist of your hair and pulled you close, until your faces were only inches apart.

“You are beautiful.” He said, looking you deep in the eyes.

And then he kissed you again. And as soon as his mouth connected with yours, you realized just how much you had missed the feeling of his lips, the warmth of his body. But that was where the resemblance to the kiss you shared last night ended. Because this one was more.

More passion, more lust. Jake softly bit your bottom lip and used your surprised gasp as an opportunity to slide his tongue into your mouth. The kiss deepened and you could feel small sparks of arousal all over your body with every touch of tongue and every time he lightly tugged on the hair in the nape of your neck.

Your hands found their way around Jakes shoulders, roaming up and down his back. You were really glad he was not wearing his full State Of The Union Outfit, even if it had looked extremely hot, because as soon as you could feel the solid muscle through his thin dress shirt, you knew that those clothes had to come off at some point.

You lightly tugged on the hem of his shirt to pull it out of his pants and spread your hands over the warm skin underneath. Jake broke the kiss as soon as he could feel what you did, just to tilt back your head and kiss your exposed neck.

You couldn’t stifle a moan as he lightly sucked on your pulse point.

The feeling of his mouth on your skin made heat coil between your legs, and you tried to shift even closer to him, until you were almost sitting on his lap.

Jake continued to kiss your neck, while his other hand crept under your shirt to palm your breast through your bra. He lightly squeezed it and you moaned again, you nails raking softly over his back, making him groan against your skin.

“You like that?” he asked, and pinched one of your nipples through the thin fabric of your bra, and you could feel your panties getting soaked with arousal.

You decided that it was time to get rid of some clothing and started to quickly unbutton Jakes dress shirt, revealing more and more skin with each button undone. As soon as you were finished, he pulled the shirt of his shoulders and the view of his body made your mouth water. You ran your hands over his muscled chest, and you could see the way his eyes darkened again.

“I can’t wait to touch you everywhere.” He said in a husky voice and pulled your shirt over your head in a swift motion, and instantly his lips were on yours again, his hands roaming over your back, unclasping your bra. When your nipples came in contact with the skin of his chest, you couldn’t contain yourself anymore.

“Jake, please. Touch me, kiss me, anything. I need to feel you.” You pleaded, your voice slightly breathless.

 

“Take the rest of your clothes off, now.” Jake said, his commanding tone sending another surge of wetness between your legs.

 You got up from the sofa and stood in front of Jake. Slowly, you opened the zipper of your jeans and pulled them down, leaving you only in your black lace panties.

Jake was watching you, his intense stare burning on your skin.

“Everything. Off.” He said, never breaking eye contact.

Having the undivided attention of this man was so hot, you almost got lightheaded.

You slowly dragged your underwear down your legs, and as you were looking up again, you saw that Jake was palming the bulge that had begun to form in his pants. You wanted to touch him so bad.

“You are gorgeous. Amazing. Beautiful. Stunning.” Jake said, taking in the sight of your naked body. His voice was strained, this was clearly affecting him.

A light flush was beginning to form on your skin, you weren’t sure if it was because of arousal or embarrassment, but you definitely knew that you needed Jake to get his hands on your body, now.

You made your way over to him again and leaned down to open the fly of his trousers. His briefs were already tented by his erection, and you palmed him through his underwear, making him groan.

“Those need to come off.” You whispered, smiling at Jake, who just nodded and lifted his pelvis so you could pull down his trousers along with his underwear.

Finally, he was naked in front of you. He grabbed you by your waist and pulled you down on the sofa, lying on top of you. The feeling of his warm skin against yours was thrilling, you tried to get your hands on every part of his body you could reach, stroking his back, pulling his hair. Finally, you wrapped your hand around the base of his hard cock, giving it some light strokes.

“You feel so good, Y/N, I’ve been thinking about doing this since I first laid my eyes on you. I’ve been in a state since we kissed, and now” he whispered against your neck „I can’t wait to finally have that sweet pussy of yours.”

You couldn’t believe the words coming out of Jakes mouth, hearing him say filthy things like that was turning you on more than you could’ve ever imagined. Obviously, your thoughts were written all over your face.

“You like it when I talk like that, don’t you, sweetheart.” He said, pinching one of your nipples as he did.

“I…Oh shit, yes, yes I do. Please.” You whimpered, almost going you crazy with the need to finally feel him. 

He had mercy on you, reaching out between your legs. When he touched your pussy for the first time, you felt like the pent-up tension could make you faint any moment.
“God, you’re so wet, Y/N.” He thrust two of his long fingers into you without warning, and you almost screamed.
“And so tight.”

“I need you, please Jake, fuck me.” You were begging now, way beyond caring about any sort of decorum as his digits touched that sweet spot inside of you again and again.

 He withdrew his fingers and shifted on top of you before he put his hands on your tights, spreading your legs. You couldn’t even begin to complain about the loss of his fingers, he was already lining up his cock with your entrance, and pushed in, slowly, filling you inch by inch until he bottomed out with a deep groan. His length stretched you in the most delicious way, and you cried out as he was starting to thrust in and out of you, leaving you almost no time to adjust to his size.

You couldn’t talk coherently anymore, you were just chanting his name over and over as he was fucking you into the sofa. Your nails clawed into his back as he was leaning over you, his hair falling into his face. Just as you thought you couldn’t feel any more pleasure, he grabbed one of your legs and probed it onto his shoulder, the new angle making you see stars with every move of his hips.

“You feel incredible, so tight and warm around me, you are amazing.” He looked down on you, taking in your face, squinted with pleasure, his name falling from your lips over and over again.

He reached between your legs and started rubbing your clit, never slowing down his relentless, hard thrusts. The combined stimulation was almost too much for you and your orgasm was approaching fast.

“Don’t stop, please, just don’t stop.” You cried out, the pleasure running through your body like a wildfire.

“Look at me when you come, I want to see you. Look at me!” Jake growled, breathing hard as he sped up even more.

You hit your peak with a cry, sparks dancing over your skin as your walls clenched around Jakes cock. Your eyes were fixed on his, and he looked at you like you were the only person on the entire planet.

Seeing you come undone beneath him, Jake only lasted for another few deep thrusts before he came, shouting your name and spilling his hot release inside of you.

 He laid on top of you afterwards, his face on your shoulder, breathing deeply. You pressed a soft kiss to his cheek, and he turned his head to look at you.

“Hi” you said.

“Hi” he replied, your favorite smile spreading across his face again.

 “I liked that very much.” You said, pressing another kiss to his lips. He chuckled and propped himself up onto his arms with a small sight, rolling off you. Luckily, your sofa was large enough so you could comfortably lie next to each other.

“Me too, that was fantastic.” He replied and pulled you closer, putting his arm around you. You buried your face into his chest, soaking up the heat of his body and his wonderful smell.

 “Maybe you should come over more often.” You suggested, sounding a bit nervous again. You didn’t want to appear clingy. But this man had just rocked your world, and you couldn’t just act like nothing happened.

“I’ll come over whenever you want me to, sweetheart. Consider me at your beck and call.”

 “Stay the night?” you asked in a hopeful voice. You had work in the morning, but you just couldn’t imagine letting him go anywhere now.

He just nodded, smiled, and kissed you again. That soft, tingly feeling in your chest increased even more, and you just happily snuggled up to him.

 Later, as Jake was already asleep next to you, you took up your phone and sent a quick text message to Abby.

Next brunch is my treat! I owe you xxxx

[meetmeatthecoda]

For the directors cut, Harbor. A personal favorite of mine. Thanks Coda! 😁

TALEEEEEEE 🥳🥳🥳 Thank you so much for this, you are the sweetest, I had no idea you loved Harbor so much, that warms my heart!! 🥰🥰 I shall put some bullet points below the cut, I hope you like them!! ❤️

Before I get into the fic: I like the title of this one!! I usually like my titles to have more than one meaning & that's definitely true of this one!! The whole showdown occurs at an actual harbor, of course, (I think I may have gotten that for the promo for 6.22 but I'm not sure??) BUT it also refers to the fact that Liz was trying to BE a harbor for Red by sheltering & protecting him from McMahon.

Ah yes, I liked the simplicity of the first line here & the fact that I could easily carry it through the rest of the fic as the general theme.

I also remember how long I had to google search before I figured out how to spell McMahon's name & I STILL had to copy & paste it bc I don't think it sounds at all how it's spelled & my brain couldn't handle it LOL

Ahhhhh, I loved including that little bit in the ammunition room at the Post Office, I had a very specific mental image for that: Liz loading a shot gun like a bad-ass & Red watching her & doing the Great Tongue Reaction LOL

I loved making McMahon just... a giant bitch, like comic-book-villain level awful & tbh? Don't regret it lmfao

Oooooh, I remembering loving the phrase "sharpening her vision and making her trigger finger itch." I just thought that was so visceral & intense.

I loved detailing Liz's protectiveness over Red in her physical actions & harried thoughts, it was fun to build that up along with the tension.

I liked writing the verbal sparring between Liz & McMahon, while keeping Liz very calm & determined bc there's simply no canon way she will allow harm to befall Red & that was the whole point of this fic.

And I liked the parallel of Liz having to shoot ANOTHER Attorney General - McMahon AND Tom Connolly - both times of pure protective instinct for Red cause 😏😏😏 yes

And I just love the “You really are a stupid bitch, aren’t you?” line. I always cackle when I read that, it feels like Liz reached across the distance between them & bitch-slapped her in the face ahahahaha

I loved that Liz's love confession is the thing to propel Red into speaking his first line, which is of course Lizzie's name, & he of course urges her not to shoot someone to save him again. I wanted that sacrificial aspect of their relationship to be front & center.

And the “I killed the first one for him too.” seemed like the perfect "OOOOOOOOOO" moment before Liz shoots McMahon & I just liked how business-like it all is, how Liz has absolutely no hesitation about killing whoever is trying to destroy Red bc tbh? That's canon.

And I loved bringing back the opening line right before the making out starts, I liked that all the emotion just has them barreling to that point & let's be honest, if Red & Liz aren't barreling towards making out, is it really a fic of mine? lmfaooo

Also apparently I have a thing for Red's reaction to Liz planting one on him being a surprised gasp against her lips bc I think I've written that in basically every single one of my fics lmfao #noregrets

(And oooooooh I forgot about that lion line, oooooooh, yep, that still seems very "Red" to me lol, I like it)

But honestly, the make-out scene was so. fun. to. write. I remember very specifically wanting to include Liz getting so carried away that she forgets Red is handcuffed & he has to urge her to uncuff him so he can participate ahahaha plus I liked the addition of the red marks on his wrists from where he was straining against them bc he wanted to touch her 😏😏😏

And oooooh, the line about them being by the harbor & her wanting to drown in him, I remember that coming surprisingly naturally & being happy it worked out so nicely with the setting LOL

And oh god, I have such a thing for Liz parroting back Red's canon lines of devotion to prove her own, I just love that cauSE IT WOULD HAVE BEEN A REALLY GREAT FULL CIRCLE MOMENT IN THE SHOW BUT WHATEVER I'M NOT BITTER IT'S FINE

And Red finally forgiving her for turning him in bc she saved his life felt... right, just natural & neat & tidy, plus I wanted that animosity resolved between them to give the story a nice ending.

Speaking of endings, here's some actual BTS info: I remember struggling over how to end this. I had a couple different scenarios in mind & it took a long time to decide on one. I think the first draft had Dembe arriving to whisk them away into hiding & the second draft had Papa Coops & the Justice League arriving to arrest them, but ultimately I didn't like either of those & I decided to leave it more open-ended. That's why I included that paragraph of Liz thinking 'maybe Cooper will arrest them or maybe they'll fly away but it doesn't matter bc they're together.'

I loved throwing the beginning line in there at the end as well!! I love symmetry, so I always attempt to draw a line through the whole fic to create a satisfying ending that ties back to the beginning or the title!! I get such satisfaction out of that whenever I accomplish it!!

Welp, there you go, my friend, I hope there was something mildly interesting in here & not just me ranting about how much I like writing Red & Liz making out!! 😂😂 Regardless, I hope you liked this, thank you so much for asking for it, & much love to you, my friend!! ❤️

Fanfic Writers: Director’s Cut

[bedlamsbard]

(in response to this post)

This turned out really, really long, so, uh, apologies?  The short version is that the number one rule is that your legacy characters don’t undercut your main cast.

I think Rogue One and Solo pulled it off -- Solo is a weirder case because it’s a prequel story about a main character, but Rogue One’s use of Tarkin, Vader, Mon Mothma, Bail Organa, etc. worked for me because from the beginning they were there to support the original characters in the film and never wavered from that.  Rogue One also benefited from knowing exactly what it was going to do and never wavering from that for an instant.

In terms of the shows, TCW is also not a straightforward case because it was using film characters as its mains and pulling from all over, but in terms of OT characters that appeared in the show, I am pretty happy with how TCW pulled off Chewbacca in Wookiee Hunt (3.22) -- puts him there, uses him well to support the main character of that particular arc (Ahsoka) and the other supporting characters (the other youngling Jedi), but it doesn’t turn into the Chewie episode. Same with Ackbar in the Mon Cala arc in S4: support, not overwhelming, doesn’t waver from the central theme of the arc.  Tarkin’s the other big one, and I’m pretty satisfied with the way he was used in TCW -- he’s always there in reference to the main characters of the arcs he appears in, and not in reference to himself, if that makes sense -- he’s there because having him there specifically makes more sense than it doesn’t.

(Honestly, I think the little philosophical lessons really helped with TCW being able to keep its focus: they have to drive straight towards that and not hesitate about it.  Every time they dropped those (I’m talking about you, Siege of Mandalore), they ran into a problem where they sort of wandered around a bit.)

Maul...I like Maul a lot.  I don’t have that much of a problem with the decision to bring him back into the timeline in TCW (at least you always knew that when George Lucas was doing something he was doing it because he enjoyed it, instead of the current case of “are you doing it for a purpose? for cheap lulz? for the aesthetic? are you setting up a sequel? are you trying to course-correct another piece of canon?”).  I do think Maul got overweighted in S7, and this is partially because they didn’t really have the space to build him up from where he ended in S5.  The Darth Maul - Son of Dathomir comic helps a little, but S7 is such a rapid switch from where he is in S5 (and you do have to assume that most viewers hadn’t read the comic) that he then pulls in too much narrative weight, and that’s because S7 was trying to do something really, really different from what the previous six seasons of TCW were trying to do.

Rebels sometimes pulls it off, sometimes does not.  Since we’re on the topic of Maul already, I am actually fine with Maul in Rebels.  I don’t actually think he was used to his full benefit because they pulled back at the last minute, but Maul in Twilight of the Apprentice? Fine with that. Same with Holocrons of Fate and Visions and Voices. (I’ve got a few other problems with Visions and Voices.)  Maul is always there in relation to the main characters of the show, not in relation to himself and not in relation to a non-Rebels character.  Did it have to be Maul (back in TotA, obvs, not the latter two)?  No, but it makes sense and it works really well thematically with all of the characters present in that episode.  Holocrons and Visions and Voices, same.

Twin Suns, on the other hand, another Maul episode, was a disaster -- beautifully made episode, everyone is in character, it should never have been made.  (I’m currently grumpy about this one specifically because I recently saw an “Ezra shouldn’t have been in Twin Suns” take.)  Yes, Maul and Obi-Wan are both interacting with Ezra, but Ezra in this ep is basically himself the McGuffin.  Neither the actual, thematic, or emotional conflict in the episode revolves around Ezra even if he’s the instigator of that final showdown.  If you can start and end an episode without the show’s main cast (and Rebels differs from TCW in that it did, very specifically, have a main character as well as a main cast), you’ve made a mistake.  Not to mention that Twin Suns takes a bunch of narrative and thematic weight that was set in TotA and earlier in S3 (such as the Maul/Kanan and Maul/Ezra parallels), and then completely ignores it in favor of a confrontation that is not going to be emotionally significant for viewers who are there for the show’s main cast.

Darth Vader mostly works in Rebels -- in S2 in isolation, not as part of the greater Rebels plot arc which is a weird hot mess of deescalating villains season by season (a whole ‘nother thing).  In Siege of Lothal he’s set up in relation to the main cast and that’s who most of his interaction is with.  Same with TotA, though I sometimes think more weight is put on the Vader/Ahsoka duel than should be there in terms of who the main cast are.  Sometimes I think it’s fine as is.  His other brief appearances are fine, since he’s mostly there just to loom and use up the fabric animation budget.

Tarkin really works in Rebels -- this is honestly Rebels’ biggest legacy character success, my gods, his introduction in Call to Action is terrifying.  Did it have to be Tarkin?  No, they could have made an OC and had the same role, but Tarkin here, in this context?  It ups the tension level a thousand percent, we see him ordering around the Imperials in the show (and the execution scene still gives me chills), and the end of Call to Action, when he’s talking to Kanan on the gunship and orders the destruction of the communications tower?  This is easily one of the most terrifying thing Rebels has ever done and to be honest, I’m not sure they ever topped it in terms of sheer presence.  Evacuating the star destroyer in Fire Across the Galaxy? Perfect parallel to ANH.

From S2-S4, Rebels really wavers back and forth on their use of legacy characters and this is true of the show as a whole from that point onwards -- when there’s a legacy character, they tend to be overweighted in terms of the episode and in terms of how much narrative space is given to them rather than to the main cast.  Not all the time (I have issues with the S4 Mandalore arc, but I think Bo-Katan was played fairly well because most of the narrative weight was still on Sabine), but a lot of the time.  The Future of the Force is really bad on this in terms of Ahsoka -- most of the episode is still focused on Kanan and Ezra, but then they’re taken off the board so she can have her dramatic fight scene.  Shroud of Darkness -- I go back and forth.  (I have other issues with Shroud.)  Leia in A Princess on Lothal -- mostly okay, but some weird moments, like using her to rally the Ghost crew into action?

Wedge in The Antilles Extraction -- fine  He’s played in relation to Sabine, his presence in the ep is thematically consistent with everything else they’re doing. Saw Gerrera in both S3 and S4 I really go back and forth on.  I think I’m mostly okay with him in terms of how he’s played in those four episodes, but I also think there are a lot of questions raised in terms of, like, his relationship to the Alliance.  (This goes for his appearance in Jedi Fallen Order as well -- I’m fine with it, it’s not mindblowing, it was nice to see.)  Mon Mothma I go back and forth on and part of this is because I’m not entirely sure what they were doing with the Rebel Alliance -- this same thing is true for Saw Gerrera.  Especially in the back half of S3 (though it appears earlier as well), Rebels is intersecting more and more with the Rebel Alliance in the lead-up to Rogue One and ANH, but I don’t think they were really entirely sure what they wanted to do with that thematically, which is how we get these wildly varying views of the Alliance even from within it, especially in S4.  Which is part of the reason why S4 thematically is A DISASTER.  (y’all I should not have come out of S4 hating the Rebel Alliance and I still can’t tell if they did that on purpose or not?)

I’m not mentioning every legacy character in Rebels here (Cham, Hondo, Madine, C-3PO and R2-D2, Bail Organa), but mostly the ones where they pay major roles.  Rex I think Rebels mostly managed to pull off having as treating him like supporting cast and not overweighting him as character.  -- The clone trio at the beginning of S2 has them in relation to Kanan, Ezra, Kallus and the stormtroopers, etc., not just in relation to themselves.

(I have no idea how to talk about Thrawn in this context because Thrawn isn’t exactly a legacy character from the current canon, but on the other hand he’s a major EU legacy character, so he’s also just a weird god damn case in general that doesn’t really have a parallel in current canon?)

What else we got -- Star Wars Resistance; doesn’t use that many legacy characters but uses the ones it has pretty sparingly.  Poe is always there in relation to Kaz, Leia has a very brief appearance, Phasma and Hux are mostly there because it makes sense for them to be there, same with Kylo Ren.  Resistance has its issues (both thematically and with pacing) but this is not one of them).

Jedi Fallen Order -- Saw was fine; Vader wasn’t overweighted once he showed up.  Battlefront II had its legacy characters almost entirely in context of Iden and Del; they weren’t there just to be there.  (And not being a gamer I’m not one hundred percent certain how those two felt in actual playing, vs. my watching them on YT.)

(I am not terribly familiar with the current canon books and comics because I stopped reading them a while ago.)

Non-canon example from Legends: Han Solo’s appearance in the Wraith Squadron novels.

The short version of this is: if you’re going to use legacy characters, you want them to be there in relation to your main cast. It has to work thematically; they can’t undercut your mains. Their stories, no matter how important to the saga as a whole, should not overwhelm the main cast of your actual show/film/game/whatever. And they definitely should not undercut your mains.  (I think Mando did this fine with Bo-Katan, tbh.)

[neverheardnothing]

rewatching joe iconis and family lincoln center performance at 4 am instead of packing or sleeping just to feel something and i have so FEW and so MANY thoughts and yall are gonna hear em all. no i will not put this under a cut. im going to be an absolute bastard about this.

i love the story joe tells about why he's singing mitb as the first song so much. like. the spite of it all. the defiance of it all. the pride of it all. the dig it or fuck off and disappear of it all. the joe iconis of it all. 

“i know exactly the song im going to sing as my first song at the american songbook series.” i love that he highlights the fact that this is the american songbook series.

then immediately jumping right into broadway here i come with molly hager, the other song he is most known for!!!

every time i think about this performance i think about how this was the first (?) time this song was performed by them since the closing of bmc.

and then lance rubin comes up to sing try again. which is the only time that i know of that anyone but joe has sung this song.

i remember a remark made during watching it live that having someone else sing the song made it seem so clearly more about joe and his career. but also having lance sing it immediately makes me think of bbh closing early which yeah is part of joe’s career but also lance’s.

and also the line “if you’re an actor and another actor gets the part you auditioned for” reminds me of how lance found the auditioning process of acting and the whole [not acting part] of an acting career to be terrible which is why he quit to then become an author and the juxtaposition of him singing try again is Something. but also he DID try again he is just applying his efforts to a different creative field and it’s working out great for him. good for lance rubin.

lol i haven’t even talked about the actual performance aspect of this song anyways it’s very different from the two versions ive seen of joe doing it. he plays it a lot more comical. i love it.

sidenote not specific about this performance, but i love love LOVE the line and the music at “use the stairs, walk to the street. see the people, feel the heat, and apply yourself again.”

and also the line “when they cast you out to sea, there’s a lifeboat manned by me called try and try again” will never not make me think of bsol/last on land and bonus lance was also in that show! it just keeps circling around.

everything about these past 3 songs performed at this venue in this set list order in this moment at joe’s career is honestly so wonderful. like you had a songs about an anxiety attack, a suicide/loss of self in success, and repeated failures before this song all sung by individuals. two of these songs were written at points where joe felt frustrated/sad with his career. one written in the aftermath of specific frustration about the first closing of be more chill. one an actual song from bmc. like what a SETLIST for your first three songs! fucking michael in the bathroom, broadway here i come, and try again. truly something.

THE WHISKEY SONG!! i love hearing joe sing so much. while i think we can all agree he’s not the most skilled singer there’s something special about hearing a composer perform their own work. he adds like 3 levels of charm to make up for lack of singing skills lol. just a very charismatic guy.

lance rubin back on tamborine for the next bit of the song and he’s like laughing through it. not completely sure what he’s laughing about honestly but this Is a comedic song (after 3 real downers of songs) and also joe was playing it up.

jared weiss down on the floor with his guitar playing along. that’s its own bullet point.

audience cheering as more family members start coming on stage! i love that the band is getting cheers. love that!!!

the camera isn’t on him but from the audio, nick blaemire is presumably running around giving high fives to people in the audience.

i can’t exactly tell with the camera angle and the lighting but i think that more family members get up from different seats in the audience or at least enter in the back and walk through the audience to get to the stage during this instrumental break. reminds me of how joe loves theater that physically touches you. giving you high fives in this case.

love liz lark brown. she plays it pretty like. frenetic and frazzled. love it.

amara, badia, danielle, will, and nick are just chillin sitting on the steps of the stage. 100% contributes to the vibe of this song. top fuckin notch.

SOMEONE screams AH during the drunk part of the song and i cannot figure out who but it gives me so much life.

jared pulling lance down to the floor with him.

jason going “man.... this place is a dump” like i LOVE the irreverence.

everyone actually getting back up and also converging On the stage during the (kind of) acapella break.

and now your whole gang is up on the stage at the fancy ass appel room singing your what sounds like a mostly upbeat fun song but is actually about self medication with alcohol and it’s a fucking jam. i love the 3 solo songs and then bringing in everyone for a big group number.

sidenote not about this specific performance: the lyrics “i’ll pour some more and then—AND THEN?—i’ll pass out and then—AND THEN!” the and thens were not on the things to ruin album and i wonder why not ALL the time. was it just deemed extraneous? or was this an innovation after the album was recorded?

i love that you can see the band singing along.

yesterdays / i can’t relate. i love this song i fucking love it. i love the synthy keyboard that was an active choice made. which means that joe is not the one accompanying jared in this song.

jared: i hate today. joe: *snorts in the background*

“i like music you can hold” -> old records black suits, susannah’s obsession with music which was of course in vinyl format back then

will once said hearing lgw was very exciting because he’s first and foremost a fan of joe’s so he was hearing a new joe song for the first time and the world got just a bit larger and i think about that quote a lot in relation to this song because i was like Oh i Get What He Means now because this is the first new joe song i heard since like getting into his work and i felt that world getting a bit bigger.

jared’s monotone chorus on top of the girls underneath is so good. it’s so fucking good i cannot.

liz lark brown velociraptor fuckin classic. specifically in this performance the weird ass electric guitar noise at “there’s a dinosaur” is SO good. i love it.

i know people say Trans Vibes from next song (jeff) but this song also gives me trans vibes. i think joe inadvertently writes stuff trans people relate to because of his propensity to write for People Who Are Different.

people cheering as will takes off his jacket hell yeah.

i am way more used to the jeremy morse version of this song and really consider it more his so it’s so fun to hear will sing it.

i love the canon of the “oh”s so much.

after will sings “i go to the window looking out and what do i see? myself just staring back at me.” and someone in the audience AUDIBLY goes “oh.” like what a MOMENT. way more subtle than when someone screamed “WHAT” at the “naked korean girl” reveal during the pipe night performance but on the same tier of Great Audience Reactions.

smooth fuckin gliss bro i love it. arms out by side. i love it.

Classic Jason Sweettooth Williams Singing Helen. but this time they added like some REAL like. oh god i have no idea how to describe it. electric crunchy electric guitar noises. and it’s so good.

i havent mentioned this yet but in the background of every song people who are not in it or are backup vocals are just sitting and jamming along and it’s so nice because me fuckin too.

honest to god just have to give a timestamp for this but bullet point for whatever the fuck eric is doing in the background here.

will and katrina circling each other singing directly into each other’s faces. so good.

the Unexpected dynamic change and following crescendo i am Living.

katrina rose dideriksen riffing up top. yes. YES.

joe starting to play helen sharp and then forgetting part of his introduction to the song is so good.

the inevitable laughter at any performance of this song at “it is not lost on me you’re all here at my show”

i know nothing about the movie death becomes her so i honestly always just think about joe when this song gets performed. also thinking about how in the youtube premiere of this song, joe was talking about how lauren was shouting out the names of all the musical theater composers joe is jealous of.

right place/wrong time. i read a bsol review a while ago about how katrina rose dideriksen was underutilized and gotta say i Agree holy Shit let her sing More.

i also remember how joe once said this song felt the most personal to him and that he cried when writing it

police siren piano.

the first time in this entire song they sing in sync is at the line “i wonder if his/her life is just like mine” and i just start screaming.

when eric and katrina turn to each other for the first time and start singing At each other!!!!!!!!!!!

honey! thinking about jen ash tep talking about how Each performance of this song gets Wilder and Wilder.

love it when nick just gets off the stage and starts singing to people in the audience. apparently one of the people was will’s mom lol.

ACAPELLA BREAK!!!!!! joe just fully gets up from piano and starts WILDLY clapping along!!!!

woman of a certain age! i remember when the live show happened the album had not come out yet and then when the yt premiere of it happened it Had been out for a week or so.

piano note elevator bell

the electric guitar is doing some fucking weird ass things in this song and i am living so fucking much for it.

the riffs badia does are so fucking incredible i immediately paused this video to go and watch her sing big fat ruby again just because i wanted more badia content.

the story behind old flame is so good and joe waiting until the last fuckin moment to give her the song is so fuckin funny.

i love love love these types of joe songs that are like 7 minute long story epics like right place/wrong time and the actress and ammonia and old flame.

“the best way to get past the past is to shoot it in the head” and then the audience cheers and i fucking love it. my commentary is getting shorter. it’s 6 am and i’m tired can you tell. i also just had a lot of thoughts about this early on and less thoughts about later on.

revolution song. the deep ass fucking electric bass is So good i Will go apeshit. like honestly that might be my favorite smaller detail of this song. like i imagine if i were in the room it might be loud and deep enough that i could feel it In my chest. like you can Feel the revolution coming.

i love the faster tempo revolution song has in the cabaret version.

i also love the cabaret specific lines of “evolution in the institution”

joey is a punk rocker was honestly not ever on the list of songs i thought would get performed here but im so glad that they did. like the obvious choice would have been veins for annie golden but they went this route. obsessed with this choice. obsessed with the fact that amphibian replaced this song as the act 2 opener. obsessed that annie is the one singing this.

i am never not screaming about wave and yall know this. just throwback to me losing it in the tags in a reblog of picture of the wave passage going on about how it really does mirror joe’s career and bmc specifically. and again this song being performed for the first (?) time since bmc closed makes the “so today on a hill in las vegas” and onward part SO fucking sad i literally just started crying. the entire song being in past tense up until that part. i will just go die now.

will in the yt premiere talking about texting the line “our energy would simply prevail” in the leadup to bmc coming back.

find the bastard. for some reason when this happened live i thought it was gonna be outlaw that was performed. 

i swear to god it is literally physically impossible for me not to AT LEAST mouth along to “what’s your name, what’s your name” during this song

NAMES ARE FOR ACCOUNTANTS.

MY NAME IS AWFUL LONG AS IT’S THE LYRICS OF THIS SONG.

the goodbye song. it’s never not sad. i love love love that this song is the final song every concert. i also love the recent lore of finding out that penny dreadfuls was the encore song at concerts before they became too long and it had to get cut.

finally gonna mention the background car lights. what a beautiful backdrop.

also since im always on my wrol bullshit i love how fucking clearly you can hear him at the end

accelerando accelerando accelerando. insert [joe iconis peaked when he wrote the accelerando in the goodbye song post of mine].

katrina singing an octave up is always SO fucking impressive i am so impressed by her voice she is so fucking good i love her so much

the bows are so fucking sweet i love them.

goodnight it’s 7 am.

[tossertozier]

you mentioned possibly doing a ben or mike writing guide.. would you.. be willing to post a mike one. i'm plotting a fic and im struggling to get my mans down?? also i think abt ur fics weekly bare minimum.

hi there!!! i did my best. i tried to not sound preachy or like a know it all bc y’all know i can barely write. i hope this is helpful in some way!! disclaimer of of course this is all just my opinion & there’s no wrong way to write, you’re the only person who can tell your story!!

[[MORE]]

i think the first really important decision you have to make as Person Writing Mike is his

family & background

-are both of his parents alive?

-if yes, what’s their relationship like?

-if no, who’s his primary caretaker? what’s their relationship like?

-if no, when did they die? did he cope well with it? what’s his relationship with their memory like?

these are really really where you gotta start to write mike imo. or any character! i think one thing stephen king is to be admired for is he doesn’t neglect the parent-child relationship as so many people who write youth do. your parents are the most important people in your life for a long time. i don’t think there’s a wrong or ooc way to answer the above questions tbh. canon has really left a wide open field for you to run amuck in.

(example: i’ve mentioned in the past that my & tfat mike being a small adult is no mistake and intentional. it’s a bit of a throwaway scene, but i mention in on pointe that mike’s parents are coming. it’s intentionally done there too. mike is goofier, more outgoing, more immature in general in that fic in the small bits he’s in & that’s all a response to his familial life. )

culture + friendships

after you answer those questions, important follow up questions are:

-are the losers his first set of friends?

-how much social exposure has he had?

-has he dated? who is he attracted to?

-who influences him? (celebrities, family, culturally)

-what are his cultural interests? what does he do in his free time? how would that impact how he interacts with the rest of the world?

again, no wrong way to answer these. i’ve seen a super broad spectrum of indirect answers to these questions. even thinking about where he might pick up patterns of speech can make him feel much more like a realized character. i’ve noticed some people dip fully into aave to an extent that doesn’t even seem logical in their character’s current situation & it can really seem like a caricature, but i think to write mike without any sense of aave at all is a little ?? too. just be cognizant of it is my only real advice here. it doesn’t so much matter as long as you don’t forget who mike is which next point

humor & personality

-what do you think he would find (shows, comedians, youtube videos) really funny?

-does he have something he quotes often? something he started saying ironically but never stopped?

man i know i’m all there’s no wrong way to write mike !! in this post but i will say real quick that i think mike is funny and i don’t really respect depictions of him where he’s not. i think this is where the movies really just fucked up. book mike drops some of the funniest lines of the book. and honest to god tip is to write out a scene as you feel the urge too, look away for five minutes, look back and give half of richie’s lines away. (or... dialogue.) this sounds like a joke but it was what i did when i first started writing & tfat

i’d always be like “n the funny part goes... to richie.” and thats a fandom inclination too. nooooo. avoid this trap. it doesn’t even make sense. have u ever been in a friend group where only one person... makes jokes? that’d be genuinely so weird. especially bc if you give the joke away to someone else, you can also build on it. amazing things start happening when u start thinking of the characters in flexible patterns. like for example, i almost always give absurdist humor to stan now. wholesome to ben.

mike’s humor is largely situational to me. solid comedic timing & he’s an observant person. sometimes i read back my own writing & have to change the pov bc richies making jokes about things he would never ever notice to make fun of. mike would. mike genuinely sees all. i think he’s just got one of the most analytical brain of the losers. & i think intelligence is subjective and people are smart in different ways but i think it’s foolish to write him as anything other than incredibly intelligent both academically and emotionally. he’s just a natural observer and pattern notice-er. which brings me to my next mike thing:

love & selflessness

i think the biggest part of mike being harder to flesh into a fully realized person is the fandom tendency to make him kind and nothing else. here’s mike. he’s nice. next. bc the book kind of points out his selflessness in his decisions and it makes itself one of his strongest character traits.

especially bc nice seems to trump him having any other emotions. ...no?

i believe in general, but ESPECIALLY in the case of mike, that kindness is a choice. it’s one i genuinely believe he’d make, over & over again. but a choice he makes. he gets annoyed with his friends being annoying like anyone else would. he gets hurt when he feels left out. he feels tired & anxious & hungry and all those other human things. sometimes he might not let it show outwardly, but there’s a difference between that and not giving him feelings at all.

people are selfish. it’s a defense mechanism. it’s to protect us. it’s not a bad thing. we think of how the world impacts ourselves first. we don’t always act upon those thoughts or voice them, but don’t forget to let mike have them. he doesn’t need to be happy for his friends all the time, or rooting for them or supportive. he should have his own things going on.

also. mike’s not a doormat. yes, he stays in derry. but those were life-death consequences for generations of children. it’s really not comparable to almost any decision mike would make in a pennywise free universe. yes, he made a sacrifice in the book but i don’t think he’d just lay himself down in any given universe to whatever fate wants to hand him. but this is where i end this topic bc i’m actually only barely beginning to get to this topic in my own fic!

it’s hard writing the losers young sometimes bc i do feel relationships are naturally a little unbalanced based on basic maturity levels as young people. sometimes friendships just are unbalanced bc of who people are at that time. everyone involved can still be good people in these relationships. it’s about growing together and learning how to be good friends to each other.

for example, in &tfat: certain losers are always checking in with others. others are really wrapped up in their own shit and don’t really notice what bothers the others. it would probably take a chart the size of a textbook to explain how i think this dynamic wholly pans out in full. and yeah, i think it grates on mike a little bit that he is always the checker and never the checkee.

but even when mike snaps, even when he gets upset, i always write it coming out of him with a lot of love. i genuinely think mike, regardless of experience in that fic, has the deepest understanding of love as its own concept and an understand of how exactly it rules his life and and his relationships. mike knows to feel strongly about something he has to care about it. there are lots of things he just doesn’t care about. in the book it’s stated he’s difficult to connect with as an adult. he’s distant. he’s focused on what he wants to focus on. i think mike is actually the most interesting when he becomes a little bit of a disaster man with very little time for what doesn’t interest him.

which last thing, dislikes & disinterests

-what annoys him?

-what makes him genuinely angry?

-what bores him to tears?

i always make jokes that i bring up the nastier parts of the losers bc i love nasty boys but thinking of things people don’t like is as much a part of them as the things they do.

for example, in &tfat, i write richie as making fun of “nerdy” things like anything you could find at comic con. i write bev as not giving a fuck about sports. bill doesn’t care about richie’s music tastes. eddie hates getting condescended to.

bc of the ... kind thing, mike’s one of the harder losers to do this with. i genuinely think mike would listen to any of his friends tell him about anything. & he knows, in return, they can’t say shit when he wants to ramble about history. but dislikes can also be super situational.

again, for example in & tfat: mike doesn’t like when his friends talk about college right now. no one is really being sensitive to him at all. he hates getting blamed for stuff that isn’t his fault, mostly bc it keeps happening.

anyway. i based a lot of my mike (mostly sense of humor and personality) off of a mix of real life friends of mine. it’s a luxury. i know. i’ve been blessed to have friends from literally all walks of life & for me borrowing little habits & quirks & sayings & jokes to slip into my fics and characters is my way of writing one massive love letter to those ive known. i hope i’ve helped you in some way anon. n if not.... don’t be sad i’m hardly one to take writing advice from anyway jandjxjx

overall, as i used to do often, i’d genuinely stop myself and say: is this a person, or a convenience for the plot? and if it was the latter, sigh, and get my backspace key ready.

[peach-mangos]

New Year’s Eve

☾ yoo kihyun/im changkyun ☾ holiday fluff/fluff/humor/meet cute/neighbors au...aka the changki new year’s eve au no one asked for lmao ☾ 2.6k ☾ can also read here

“What do you want?”

“Well good morning sunshine—at least you’re up, kind of surprised I must say” Jooheon chuckles on the other side of the line.

“Yeah well—pretty hard to get any sleep when the whole population on this damn apartment hall is up and about causing a ruckus” Changkyun grumbles, and just as he throws open his apartment door, a group of teenage kids zoom past him blowing party horns and leaving in their wake a trail of party tinsel.

“Kyunnie, it’s New Year’s Eve, lighten up. Of course people are excited and happy, they’re celebrating the end of a long ass exhausting year, new beginnings are always welcomed” Jooheon tells him, and Changkyun can’t help but roll his eyes.

He heads back into his apartment to retrieve a trash bag from his kitchen drawer and makes his way out once again.

“You know, in my opinion—every day is an opportunity for a new beginning—don’t understand why everyone and their damn mother lose their shit over this New Year bullshit”

“You know, you used to love celebrating New Year’s Eve until—”

“Whatever, I’m taking down all these damn decorations” Changkyun says cutting off his friend, “the regulations of our apartment complex doesn’t allow them for safety purposes”

“Dude” Jooheon laughs, “isn’t that a little too much?”

“I’m sorry, was there a reason for this call?” Changkyun asks shoving his cellphone between his ear and shoulder while trying to hold open a trash bag in one hand and ripping off “Happy New Year” decorations off the hallway walls with the other.

“Right, get showered, get dressed—we are going out tonight”

“Like hell we are” Changkyun chuckles bitterly and continues making his way down the hall ripping off decorations with a fiery purpose.

“Listen man, I know it’s been hard for you to celebrate New Year’s ever since Soobin—but damn it, we are doing something this year. We all let it slide last year because it was still pretty fresh, but not this year. You are not gonna sit in that apartment in your old man flannel pajamas and greet the year alone and bitter”

“Are you done?” Changkyun asks making his way towards the elevator.

“Yes” Jooheon concedes harrumphing at his friend.

With that, Chankgyun hangs up on his best friend and tries to close off the gate to the elevator.

“HOLD THE ELEVATOR PLEASE!” someone yells, and usually—well, usually Changkyun isn’t one to be an asshole— but he really isn’t in the mood to share an awkward elevator ride with some random stranger at the moment. So instead of holding the gate open as the unsuspecting stranger had asked, Changkyun rushes to close it.

As his crummy luck would have it though, the trash bag full of holiday decorations he was on his way to get rid of gets stuck between the gate, giving the stranger just enough time to reach the elevator.

“I know you heard me” the guy accuses, narrowing his eyes at Changkyun.

“Oh, sorry , I’m a little hard of hearing” Changkyun lies adjusting his hoodie and begrudgingly making space for the man to get in. He hates the fact that he has to do a double take because —upon closer inspection—his new elevator companion is quite the looker. Dressed to the nines beneath his cream colored winter coat in a silky red button up dress shirt buttoned down all the way to the center of his chest, nice black crispy ironed dress pants accompanied by shiny polished black dress shoes and hair slicked back.

“Are you a little blind as well, you literally saw me rushing towards you”

I wish, Changkyun thinks, a light chuckle escaping his lips. “You know, you’re kind of loud for such a small person” he muses, making the tiny handsome man blush.

“And you’re a little bit of a dick, but that’s none of my business, is it? Could you press the floor button now, please?”

Laughing at how easy it had been to ruffle the guys’ feathers, Changkyun obediently moves over and carries on with pressing the button to the apartment complex’s lobby.

Not even a minute into the elevator ride and the damn metal contraption begins to make a startling noise followed by staggering movements that cause both men to topple forwards in loss of balance.

“The hell was that?” the stranger asks, eyes wide and panicked.

“Think the elevator broke, genius” Changkyun sighs leaning against the metal wall.

“Broke? BROKE?!” Mr. Slicked Back hair wails, “it can’t be broke, I’m going to be late for work? Isn’t there an emergency button or something ?” he asks looking around franticly for the emergency button. He finds it behind a small door next to the button selection also containing a red emergency phone. “Hello, this is Yoo Kihyun from apartment 3B, can someone help us?”

Changkyun chuckles because of course, he’s the new guy that moved into 3B.

“Hey, 3B—phone doesn’t work, genius. Can’t you see it’s not even connected?” Changkyun tells him rolling his eyes.

“Well, do something, don’t just stand there!” 3B wails slamming back the phone into place.

“This happens every other week dude, they’ll get us out eventually” Changkyun shrugs, and the guy, Kihyun visibly deflates.

“How long do you think it’ll take?” he asks defeatedly.

“Could be a couple of hours, to be honest”

Kihyun staggers back into the opposite metal wall and groans, “couple of hours?” he whispers in disbelief. He runs a hand through his hair and gasps, as he looks up he notices an opening and walks over to slap Changkyun on the chest.

“Look, up there, there’s an escape door—you seem stronger I’m not even going to lie, and my shoulders are much narrower than yours—think you could maybe lift me up?” Kihyun asks.

“First of all, ow—your rings, asshole” Changkyun whines rubbing at his chest, “Second, I mean I guess I could, but that thing looks like it’s bolted shut man”

“Doesn’t hurt to try” Kihyun tells him already shrugging off his coat, and Changkyun can’t help but roll his eyes.

“This job so damn important you’re willing to squeeze out of an escape door in an old and faulty elevator?” Changkyun asks groaning as he awkwardly tries to lift Kihyun up. He isn’t that much taller than the guy, he doubts he’ll be able to reach the trap door even with Changkyun lifting him.

As Kihyun struggles to make his hands reach the ceiling, something slips out from around his neck and out of his shirt slapping Changkyun in the face.

“You’re a groupie ?” Changkyun asks, narrowing his eyes at the shiny VIP pass, voice full of judgement.  

Kihyun freezes in his arms.

“Put. Me. Down” he bites out.

Changkyun is quick to do as he’s told and let’s Kihyun slide down and out of his arms.

Once his feet are back on the floor, Kihyun immediately walks away as far away as possible from Changkyun, hiding his VIP pass and crossing his arms across his chest.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to say it like that, I just wondered” Changkyun tells him truthfully.

“Why the hell do you have a trash bag full of  party decorations?” Kihyun asks instead.

“Took them down from our hallway, we aren’t allowed to hang decorations like that. It’s against the regulations of the complex” Changkyun tells him as a matter of fact.

“Why is that any of your concern? Why is it up to you to police the way people enjoy their holiday? God, of course I get stuck in an elevator with the goddamn grinch of the apartment complex. Who hurt you dude?”

“Ex fiancé” Changkyun tells him, a sad smile on his lips, “two years ago, to the day, actually. Cheated on me the night of our engagement party with who I thought was one of my best friends”

“Well fuck” Kihyun groans blowing out an awkward breath and sits down on the little wooden bench lining one of the walls of the elevator. “Fuck, I’m sorry man—“

“It’s alright, it’s whatever now, you know? But yeah, you’re right. Did turn me into a bit of a grinch, which kinda sucks because I used to love celebrating New Year’s with my best friends” Changkyun confesses.

“I never understood the concept of cheating” Kihyun sighs, “if you feel like you no longer have strong feelings for the person you’re with, just tell them and set them free. Don’t hurt them and waste their time. It’s selfish and plain old mean” he tells him.

“Sounds like you have strong opinions on the subject as well then” Changkyun muses.

Kihyun smiles and stands up.

“You said it’d be a couple of hours right? Well then, I guess we’ll just have to have a party of our own. Rediscover your love for the New Year’s celebration. Come on, we’ve got decorations “ Kihyun says coming over to pull out the holiday decorations trash bag from his fingers.

“But the—” and the withering look Kihyun levels him with has Changkyun shutting up immediately and pliantly handing over the bag and it’s contents.

“Come on grumpy, start putting these banners up” Kihyun demands shoving an array of banners onto his arms. He then rummages through the bag and manages to find a pair of party hats. Making a small noise of triumph, he walks over to strap the red one on Changkyun, smiling when it earns him an eye roll.

“You are something else, 3B”

In comfortable companionship, both men decorate the elevator to their best ability with the few decorations they have, Kihyun occasionally humming random tunes.

“So what do you do for a living?” Kihyun asks as he strings tinsel around.

“I’m a comic book illustrator”

“Oh, is that so? Draw something for me then” Kihyun demands, pulling out a pen and paper pad from his bag, and Changkyun has begun to realize Yoo Kihyun from apartment 3B is quite the demanding fella.

“You’re so bossy” Changkyun says with a chuckle, he takes the man’s pen and pad nonetheless and begins to draw. “What about you? What do you do?”

“Well for starters, I’m not a groupie” Kihyun says pointedly. “I’m a singer, well back up singer right now. It’s why I have this pass, I’m supposed to be performing at the ball drop on New Year’s Eve in Times Square” he sighs sadly.

“Sing something for me then, so I can concentrate on your drawing” Changkyun laughs and Kihyun shakes his head furiously.

“No way man, maybe if we get out of this damn elevator you can come watch me perform instead”

Changkyun shoots Kihyun a look and both burst out in laughter.

They carry on talking for hours about the randomest things. From their earliest childhood memories to likes and dislikes to the reasons why they’re both in New York.

“Are we ever gonna get out of here?” Kihyun sighs defeatedly, “not that you aren’t wonderful company, but I’ve already missed the rehearsal. I’m sure it’s nearing ten p. m, god, I’m really going to miss my chance to perform at Times Square” he laments.

“I’m sorry dude—but hey, look we still have time before you have to go on, you said your performance is at 11:30, right? Perhaps by then” Kihyun gives Changkyun a, ‘thanks for trying’ look and smiles.

“You done with that drawing then?” Kihyun asks and Changkyun laughs nodding his head.

“Here, happy New Year’s” Changkyun laughs handing Kihyun his illustration of him frantically yelling for help earlier in the elevator clutching onto the emergency phone for dear life.

“You are insufferable, I hope you know” Kihyun laughs taking the drawing from his hands. “But you’re actually pretty good, this is so intricate, how do you do that?” he says voice full of awe.

Changkyun just shrugs rubbing the back of his neck bashfully.

“We’re supposed to be having a party” Kihyun comments, then stands up and begins to narrate his movements.

“The handsome young singer scanned the room, when suddenly, his eyes made contact with another handsome young man”

Changkyun tolled his eyes but stood up.

“They stared at each other for a moment, tentatively smiling at one another” at this point Kihyun shoots Changkyun a shu smile and he can’t help but birst out into a fit of laughter.

“Tentatively!” Kihyun exclaims laughing as well.

“Okay, okay—how about now?” Changkyun asks trying his best at a tentative smile.

“Eh, guess it’ll do” Kihyun teases. “We finally cross the room, just as everyone starts to count down…” Kihyun comes closer to Changkyun, smiling and begins to count. “Ten, nine, eight, seven” Kihyun’s words are barely above a whisper now, and Changkyun feels likes his face is on fire. He doesn’t know what to do with himself or where to look, so he settles for Kihyun’s eyes, which—kind of a mistake. A feeling of being able to lose himself in that pair of warm brown eyes settles over him and he really thinks, fuck it, it’s the New Year. If he were to kiss this man right here, it would be a perfect end to the year. “Six, five, four, three, two—”

Just as Kihyun is about to close the distance between them, the elevator shakes once again throwing both men backwards as it descends properly once again.

Both men clear their throats once the doors to the elevator open, and a group of tenants cheer.

“See, told you I’d get it fixed—and it only took what, leight hours” their landlord cheers, and several tenants erupt in a chorus of annoyed ‘shut ups’ and ‘took you long enoughs’.

“Oh my god, I can still make it, if I hurry”

“Then you should probably head out” Changkyun tells Kihyun clearing his throat.

“I uh—yeah, I’ll see you around. Happy New Year” Kihyun tells him as he rushes out the hallway.

“Yeah. See you around” Changkyun sighs making his way back to the elevator. “Hold that for me will you Mrs. Jensen”

And as Changkyun makes his way back into that damned elevator he notices a rubber pink balance bracelet on the ground.

Fuck.

He picks it up and rushes out of the elevator once more irritating a few dozen of his neighbors in the process and runs out hoping he can make it to Kihyun in time.

Turns out, he does make it to Times Square in time, he barely catches Kihyun on his way up the stage.

“HEY! 3B!” he exclaims.

Startled, Kihyun turns around, eyes wide and mouth hanging open in a silent gasp.

“You’re—what? What are you doing here?” Kihyun asks.

“I uh—well I found this, figured it might be yours. I don’t know” Changkyun laughs.

“How did you even get back here?”

“Security is actually so bad? They think I’m the band’s drummer” Changkyun laughs.

“You came all the way out here—in your pajamas, I might add—to hand me my bracelet?”

“It says it’s for balance, didn’t want you out there performing without it. And who knows, maybe it’s good luck. What do I know?” Changkyun mumbles, now blushing slightly.

“Thank you, that’s really sweet of you” Kihyun laughs taking the bracelet from Changkyun’s hands.

And he’s not sure what gives him the courage to do what he does next, but “ you also forgot this in the elevator,” he says. In one swift movement, he leans up to press a kiss to Kihyun’s lips, pulling him in by his dress pants belt loops. It takes Kihyun about 0.01 seconds to respond, clutching fiercely only the fabric of Changkyun’s hoodie.

“I’m—yeah okay, thanks for that” Kihyun says in a bit of a daze once he’s pulled away, “I’m glad you remembered that” he says clearing his throat.

Changkyun shoots him a million wat smile and presses a light peck to his lips once more.

“Go knock them dead, tonight, I’m your groupie” Changkyun jokes.

“Go!” Kihyun says laughing heartily and Changkyun supposes that maybe new beginnings really are welcomed.

[ober-affen-geil]

Roswell New Mexico New York Comic Con 2019 Cast Showbiz Junkies Round Table Interview: Michael Vlamis

Note: this is a “round table” so there is more than one interviewer. I have differentiated them where I can but they do not identify themselves in the video and I had difficulty keeping track of them, so my accuracy is most likely minimal.

Transcript:

Interviewer 1: So how is Michael handling what happened with his brother?

Vlamis: Not well. 

Interviewer 1: Not well?

Vlamis: Not well at all.

Interviewer 1: Ok - 

Vlamis: Uh, god he’s a mess. 

Interviewer 1: Yeah?

Vlamis: Yeah, he’s a mess. Um. Lotta fights, lotta booze, lotta nail polish, lotta chest hair. I keep making that joke but it’s true! There’s so much chest hair this year it’s on another level.

Interviewer 1: Why?

Vlamis: You know I just, when we did the costume fittings, in first season, I had my buttons up normal for the pictures. And I kept wanting to let ‘em out and I was just like “I feel like he’d be more open!” My one note in the audition was “cover up your chest hair a little bit” I was wearing a wi - er. Can’t say that. An a-tee? Or an a-tank? You know like a - [gestures] both words I know for that are - you can’t say any more.

Interviewers: Yeah, uh huh.

Vlamis: Yes. Any tee that anyone in Goodfellas wears, you know, and I wore one of those with a jean jacket, you know, and they were like, “you know, just cover up the chest hair”. So, I always felt that I gotta let the chest hair out! So I un - before we started shooting season 1 I unbuttoned it without telling anybody and got it really low, and then went, and then we just had to match that the rest of the year! So that’s, that’s kinda how I’ve been, how I weaseled that in there. But, uh. Yeah he’s an absolute mess this year. It’s really fun to play.

Interviewer 1: Who’s he turning to? Is he with Liz more, because they’re trying to get like back Max, or -

Vlamis: Well at the very beginning, nobody. He’s turning away from everyone. 

Interviewer 1: Ok.

Vlamis: But then, yes. I mean they’re trying to - of course - they’re trying to, they’re trying to bring him back, whatever they can do. So he’s gonna go to the other scientific brain, in the group. So I’ve gotten to do some really cool work with - [Lily Cowles has crossed behind Vlamis and tapped him on the shoulder] what’s up Lil’?

Lily: Nothin’

Vlamis: Cool hair. [Lily mimes pouring water on his head] Ahhhh!

Lily, walking away: I was about to say the same thing to you!

Vlamis: Thanks! Um, so we’ve gotten ah, no. I’ve gotten some really, really great work with uh, with Jeanine, and I don’t - I - he’s kinda getting, I’m getting a lot of scenes with uh, a lot of the different characters, you know? Michael Guerin’s all over the place this season. 

Interviewer 1: How’s his love life?

Vlamis: Ooh. He just can’t, he just can’t be happy you know? He can’t allow himself to be happy, I don’t think he thinks he deserves it. But uh. He’s spending time, a lot of time with Alex and Maria. And, in different contexts, you know? I don’t even, I don’t even know which one’s best for him. Every one keeps asking “which one is best for Michael Guerin” I don’t know! I have no idea. One reminds him of tragedy, one reminds him of...a fresh start. So both very different. One’s very heavy, one’s super light. But it doesn’t mean [gestures] they’re not crisscrossing and - you know me and Heather have had some really cool scenes - Heather Hemmens who plays Maria - some scenes that I’m really proud of...I’ve just kinda go to such a deep place this year. ‘Cus that’s where the character is. He’s in a lot of pain.

Interviewer 1: How’s his relationship with his sister?

Vlamis: Even that has gotten strained at times. Yeah. But, that’ll always be, like, his rock you know? That’s like that one person, the one person that has always been there for him. 

Interviewer 1: Moreso than Max?

Vlamis: Well, I think he thinks that. I don’t know if that’s true, if that’s the case, but I think he feels that. Especially with, I mean last year Max just grabs his hand and heals him, without him even wanting that, you know? Or asking for that. It’s little things like that, it’s that brother complex. And so I think that’s the case. I think they were both there for him, as much, but I don’t think Michael Guerin sees that. 

Interviewer 1: And he’s still gonna be dealing with the fact that now he’s got a healed hand and no human should know that, right?

Vlamis: Yeah.

Interviewer 1: So how’s he dealing with that?

Vlamis: He’s hiding it.

Interviewer 1: Yeah?

Vlamis: Yeah, he’s hiding it. And I think he’s also - he’s not just hiding it from every body I think he’s hiding it from himself. ‘Cus he did not want that to happen. And it was really nice, he got to - you know I got to play the guitar at the end of last season and kind of. Go back to the old ways, almost, it felt you know? But it’s not the old ways. And he knows that. And I think he’s ashamed almost. Of that hand being healed. Like he didn’t deserve it. Which is another deep, masochistic choice that I’m going with. 

[both laugh]

Interviewer 1: Does his world expand? In this coming season?

Vlamis: Yeah, definitely. it definitely expands. Yeah you - it’s, it’s really cool. I have been hinted to the storyline that going to develop in this season that I’m really excited about. I can’t talk about it, but there are new, new characters come into play, and it does open up the world and you know, give him more to do. But he’s very focused on brother and information about his mom. He wants to find out more about his mom. That’s a big thing.

Interviewer 1: So you’ll spend a good - time delving into that?

Vlamis: Yeah, he’s definitely trying to figure out more about his mom. Yeah. Looking for help in all the places that he can. He may find out some stuff he doesn’t wanna find out. 

Interviewer 2: What have been some of your favorite scenes that you’ve filmed so far in the season?

Vlamis: Oh my god. I think I just did ‘em, to be honest. Recently. Um. My favorite scenes are the scenes I don’t think I can do. You know? I - you read the script and you’re like “ah f-. I can act this. But can I fucking [gestures] can I do it? Can I make you believe that I’m doing this right now?” And the writers came up to me the other day after a scene, they were crying, and that was like. That was a similar thing that happened in the prison scene last year. And those are moments where like, they know it’s fake. You know, they - they’re seeing me in front of cameras doing it and so if I can evoke that emotion through that, without the music coming in, or the different shots being cut together of the other actor you know, in frame, making everything believable on screen, then I’m really, really proud. And it’s been like the deep, emotional feelings of loss of a brother that uh, that I’ve been trying to honor, and make it as real as possible this year. And that’s been the most fun. And also the most difficult. And I’m very tired.

[bereft-of-frogs]

So we ended up on a ‘rewatching Ragnarok level tonight’. I might double up and also watch Guardians of the Galaxy in bed to fall asleep tonight, but we’ll see.

I had a Day. And also I’ve been kind of nostalgic lately, for the period of time in between seeing Ragnarok and seeing Infinity War. It’s not really about the movies or fandom - I mean part of it is, but it’s way more about the emotional and professional place I was in in that time period. I was still in the coursework phase of graduate work (which is really the part I excel at and the part that made me happy), I was in really good shape, I had a lively and varied social life. I’ve just been in kind of a rut for the last year. I even find myself missing my old apartment which is sort of ridiculous. (The apartment itself was nice, but I had a roommate who I didn’t like and my current apartment feels much more mine.) It’s just all about how do I get that back? The feeling I had then. Where did it go? Why do I feel like this now?

I do have some actual real-life ideas of the why and how, but since those are like...long term things, my solution to that tonight was...rewatching Ragnarok XD

Thus, here are some thoughts:

- I do wish they’d slowed down the pacing of the first like...15 minutes a bit but that’s mostly because I would take a whole 2 hour movie of Thor and Loki sniping at each other. But I guess that’s what fanfiction’s for. ;-)

[also, if you’re asking me ‘but what would you cut to make that part longer’ the answer is just that comic strip of the dog being like ‘No cuts! Only more!’]

- there are a couple things where I’m like ‘@self, that would have been a rad detail to include, well, too late now.’ mostly the whole ‘knocking on the door of the Sanctum and then you’re just inside’ bit. That would have been rad to include, somewhere. Namely in the chapter of ‘bound at the end of the world’ where Thor and Steve go to visit Strange. Eh. Too late, oops.

- “Father, it’s us” THAT FEELS SIGNIFICANT EMOTIONALLY (more significant even than the ‘my sons’ line, which admittedly does get the good face reaction)

- I really need to make another running playlist with more of the Ragnarok score on it, this shit is great running music

- I’m really into the focus on euphemism on Sakaar. “People come from far and wide to unwillingly participate” Like that’s part of what makes it such fun dub con fodder, it’s all about the veneer of being okay and then you peel back the layers and it’s horrifying (similar to the thing I said earlier about how the Black Order doesn’t really scare me, but the Raft does). There’s that great moment that the writing engineers where you’re going along with it, and then trip into the horror. “People come from far and wide” *nodding along* “to unwillingly participate” *trip.* Dang. It’s really great that the writing can cause that drop in your stomach when you realize the dark truth behind the glamour. Dang.

- Loki also full body flinches away right when the Grandmaster interrupts his whispering with Thor. Every time, every fucking time I think I’ve gone too far, or read too much into things about Sakaar, canon just fucking does that...

(like I guess you can interpret it as surprised flinch, but with everything else...)

- also Hela says that Odin ‘banished me, caged me’ which is a nice callback to what Odin did to both Thor and Loki, in order

- also the chest touching ‘you’re not allowed to leave’ move, please canon, chill out a bit

- I 100% think earlier in the Hulk’s career on Sakaar, Thor doing the lullaby totally would have worked. Like, the Hulk had been there too long, he’d gotten too much control over Banner. (I’ve seen posts that are like ‘lol why did Thor think that would work’ and my two cents is the only reason it didn’t was because of the brutality of the arena and how long he’d been there)

- I do really like how clever and resourceful Thor is in this movie - contacting Heimdall, palming the controller off Valkyrie. I like smart Thor. :-)

- Loki and the Valkyrie’s fight. Still hot. Still makes me ship it. Enough said.

- and the visual effect of that flashback scene...iconic

- “I don’t want to fight your sister, that’s a family issue” I love how Bruce draws the line, like ‘I’ll fight your brother, but your sister...eh...’

- I would also take a lot more Thor and Bruce sniping, they are very entertaining. And like four full movies of Loki and the Valkyrie physically fighting. Just like. A lot of that. Yes.

- “...do you want revenge?” “Um, undecided.” Gold.

- god, the elevator scene. I can’t. “I should stay here.” “You’re right, you should stay here.” “TT_TT how could you think I should stay here?” Loki, you are a disaster. This scene is also probably the most honest scene they’ve ever had, through four films, and it’s like 80% lies and obfuscation, fuck

- ‘orgies and stuff’ CANON GO HOME YOU’RE DRUNK

- also, Thor and the Valkyrie fighting in sync. Also hot. Also makes me ship it. Hence the massively underrepresented OT3. (I think there are...12 Thor/Valkyrie/Loki fics on Ao3?)

- despite having not grown up with/interacted with her younger brothers until like two days ago, Hela really has the ‘get up, you’re in my seat’ delivery down pat. And it even works. (I only have like...a 70% success rate.)

- I hadn’t ever really caught that Hela calls herself ‘the savior of Asgard’ in her fight with Thor, I feel like that also has so much EMOTIONAL SIGNIFICANCE that then Loki is given that title a few minutes later

- Valkyrie’s wtf face when she realizes the Bruce Banner/Hulk thing is great

- Thor and Loki being Delighted With Each Other will always be the best part of the final battle

- another thing that contributes to what I think this movie does very well re: Thor and Loki’s relationship is all of their real conversations are like half conversations (the elevator scene being the major exception, which is more a conversation hidden beneath another one) - Thor doesn’t need to actually explain anything about Surtur’s crown and Ragnarok on the bridge - it’s this nice little half-said conversation that serves to prove that...they actually know each other, that they’ve grown up together, had all this experience together before it all fell apart. It’s part of what I really appreciate about their relationship here. Their relationship is so dramatic and fraught in the first three films they’ve appeared together in, which is beautiful in it’s own way (you all know I love me a good dramatic angst speech), but I think here we really see what foundation there is to lay the ground of a reconciled, renewed relationship.

- Thor’s little ‘what have I done?’ makes me SAD

- I’m still waiting on that fucking hug, Marvel. I will never stop waiting on that hug. I will keep fucking writing fanfiction where they hug, and cuddle, and kiss each other’s foreheads, and cheeks, and touch each other, even just little touches to the arm or back to get the other’s attention. I will keep writing fucking PLATONIC BEDSHARING until I get my GODDAMN HUG, Marvel, I swear I will!

- I wish I could like the comparison posts between the end of The Dark World Thor and Endgame Thor, but the problem is...I love his coronation at the end of Ragnarok so much (how quiet and unadorned and clearly supported by the people it is) that I just...can’t get behind having to rewind that arc. It was such a good one. From ‘I can’t be both king and a good man’ to ‘to be a good man in this moment means becoming king’ and the title and power don’t necessarily fit him perfectly but you get the sense that he can grow into it and make it his own, and honestly that’s probably a good thing, and that’s what makes it possible for him to be a good king...and I just...it was perfect. Having to do it a second time (because otherwise he’s just like.....giving up literally everything?) is just...ah. I don’t know.

So that’s it! We’ve reached the end! Clearly, the end in which Thanos arrives and things are bad but Thor and Loki both survive (and Heimdall, he survives too) and eventually they defeat Thanos and recover and build a life together ruling Asgard reborn OBVIOUSLY.

I’m really glad I did this. I think I rewatched Ragnarok in...April? Just before Endgame? But I definitely wasn’t paying attention, was doing something else (something somewhat unpleasant if memory serves) and stopped halfway through. This was fun, and helpful! (I think some of my voices and aesthetics had started slipping a little bit in writing. I should probably watch the other two Thor movies, and Infinity War again too, refresh the inspiration box in my brain.)

Okay! End movie night!

[ofcloudsandstars]

Life Update:

I have been away for a BIT but a lot has happened since then. Aside from some crazy energy shifts (some early spooky spirit-level vibes coming from Pluto coming out of Retrograde on the 3rd) having wild vivid dreams and bizarre experiences, there's some that took the cake and also I needed some time to just be quiet and spend my little free time not chatting to anyone or being online.

Anyway a story I wanted to share is the on going saga with that rich man who spent his years saving and conserving a rain forest in Tanzania. We met on Autumn's Eve to discuss his project he was trying to raise money for. He is going through a lot right now cause it's his second Saturn return and this huge farm he owns in Tanzania that he made a shit ton of money from is falling apart due to climate change and corruption. It turns out this man has dabbled in/has interest in the occult (as all bored white rich people do) and was interested in my craft. He's an American born and raised in Louisiana that moved to NYC for a while to write for a magazine, had some wild experiences with a vodou church there and moved to England when he got married but now has been divorced for like 17 years and is still not over it. Anyway I felt comfortable opening up about my practice and that evening anyway I was going to go to a friend's house to do some autumn eve magic and had some stuff in my bag. So he asked for a tarot reading for insight in his future and we like hang out in Hyde park which is GORGEOUS in fall colors right now and I do a reading for him. This is the beginning of a very long story so if you are interested in reading another episode in my hot mess ass life, get a nice cup of tea and click the read more lol. 

Essentially we can summarize his current life as his job is going through a tower card phase due to saturn return shaking up all that foundations are weak or no longer serving him. He's supposed to resurrect the rainforest conservation project and he already knows this answer deep down inside. I am like cool that's great we connected cause I have been making a lot of friends recently that are getting involved in forest conservation or are buying land to grow forests on with native trees so its cool we created this friendship.  Nice. Now he wants a love reading which I just feel reluctant to do. I already had that feeling you know when someone wants a love reading when they really shouldn't be focusing on that? Its fine though cause Tarot is honest as hell and validates my feelings. He essentially wants someone to distract his current troubles and saturn return lessons to get whisked away in a romance and dump his issues on from the failure of the farm and his divorce of 17 years he's still not over. 

He's still unsatisfied so to placate him I do a lenormand reading of what type of lover could suit him now in his troubling time. Lenormand just shows someone that is ambitious and working in the same field but also a side kick. Cool so you want a cheerleader to support you when you are down that’s nice don't we all. He then says the reading is vague and doesn't everyone want that? And I am like no not at all like for example, I currently don't want any relationship I want to work on myself but if I were to have an ideal relationship I'd love it to be with someone who is a home maker, someone who is emotionally available, who's love language is like smothering me physically with affection, definitely not someone who fucks off for two weeks to months at a time to the other side of the hemisphere, but anyway it’s all hypothetical so it doesn't matter. Anyway with his lack of satisfaction I am like, look sir, next week is the Libra new moon, it's a great time to ask to find a partner that will be a great match in this trying time.

I completely forget that I gave him this information. We smoke a blunt he was keeping in his nifty dressy blazer inner pocket and I go off to see my good Aries witch friend and have an INSANE NIGHT where we nearly BURNT down her fucking apartment in an episode of  ✧ *:・ﾟFire Magic Gone Wrong *:・ﾟ✧. 

I was trying to make some candles for autumn's eve with carved green apples and when I melted the wax we didn't realize how powerful her oven was. Plus my stupid lazy ass left the wick in there. So when we tried to open the oven cause we were smelling the intense smoke, a fucking PLUME of dark smoke would come out BURNING THE SHIT out of our eyes and choke the shit out of us. We tried to open the windows and vents, I tried to quickly pull it out and some wax splashed out and burned the shit out of my leg and arm and I have little burn mark scars now, but with the wick in there with that heat it IGNITED there was a burst of flames coming out, My friend was NOT HAVING IT like imagine an Aries hollerin and a Fire Ablazin and the fire alarm is louder than a fucking rave EDM beat like I was trying to think as clear as possible and see if she had a fire extinguisher she was like: BITCH DO I LOOK LIKE A RESTAURANT TO YOU and so I call the emergency line to get the fire department while she fucking, just, gets a massive fucking cauldron of water and dumps it in the oven and wax is oil so you know what happens when you throw water on flaming oil it fucking EXPLODES so she's like fucking James Bond slow motion running away from a ball of Fire and fortunately the fire is out cause it gets smothered by smoke and water 

...so I am like: Oh thank you mr. police sir but the fire is gone no need to come, but as my friend is still HOLLERIN in full panic mode in the background and the police on the phone still hear her Panic and is like: Uh no we are still coming.. 

Its a bit comical and surreal at this point cause I try to calm my friend down with some water as I air out the apartment and she goes from Hollerin to   q u i e t   real quick when she hears all these LOUD ass sirens. She's like.. Alex.. What are we gonna tell the police when they arrive?? I am like damn bitch why you acting like we did something contraband like its just an oven fire we extinguished it. But she was having that Black Moment of Fear™ like we were two hot mess black witches gonna have the police up in her apartment due to some dumb ass witchcraft gone wrong like I was still trying to be calm but she was like whispering my name like Aleeexx those sirens, they are coming for us!! And I was like oh my god you are panicking they are probably just police cars for something else we are in London shit happens here all the time. 

Anyway the loud sirens just STOP in front of the building and she's like: a l e x... All of a sudden we hear a Bing! And its the fire department outside. We see the windows in the hallway outdoors and this MASSIVE ASS FIRE TRUCK THE SIDE OF THE BUILDING'S WIDTH is just parked there y'all.. The neighbor across the hallway opens her door to see what the fuck is going on and she was not pleased. Since her windows face the street her whole living room looked like a rave disco with red and blue flashing lights she was like what the fuck were you dumbasses doing and my friend is like ohh my god.. 

So next thing we knew there were 5 Fully geared firemen in the apartment and like.. Miraculously with the power of all that is good in the world there is like no sign that there was ever anything that happened?! So the firemen of course were wanting some explanations. Of course they can smell a little bit of smoke but I am like: Oh yeah sorry it was a grease fire gone wrong it was the first time we used this oven but we managed to squash it, it was just overwhelming and we wanted you guys over just in case it escalated. So one fireman is like snooping around for some further answers like: haha cooking sausages usually kicks up a lot of grease, what were you cooking? And my friend who is guilty as hell is like: its just oil but so sorry wejustletitburnintheovensosorryitwasjust and I am like taking the conversation by the horns like: We were trying a recipe to bake the apples over there (yes the ones still hollowed out on the kitchen counter,) but it went wrong. Anyway the firemen noted that there was like no damage ("don't even mention it to your land lord! Haha!" one says) and they just install two fire alarms for free and leave. So me and my friend who are Shaken from this Drama especially when after the firemen left there was no trace of like anything even happening and this all escalated and deescalated in less than an hour so we just scrap any magic we had planned that night and watch The Craft instead. Autumn’s Eve completed..

Ok so I have a blissful and amazing Mabon then a few days pass and I am back at work with the shenanigans of the weekend out of my mind and I get a text from the old rich guy again. He wants me to come over for dinner on Sunday and chat some more about the forest conservation project. I am a bit annoyed as it's Libra new moon but maybe I could balance dinner with him and go home and do some spells (balance, see what I did there? lol.) So I say yes, it's Libra new moon afterall and maybe its nice to make a new friendship revolving around helping the planet.

 He's texting me like: Do you like Oysters? And I am like.. that's so random why Oysters? And he goes on about how he's from Louisiana and he gets homesick so he likes eating them I am like ok I guess.. But he's also like: let me get some Gavi (white wine) and I am starting to get that feeling of unease but I am like: I got to work early the next day so I am not going to drink. He's like ok fine. 

I mention it to some of my coworkers and they are teasing me about how this old man wants to 'play in my rainforest' and it makes me want to gag. Like I am hoping that its a case of me misjudging some man like surely this is a sensible old man that is lonely and just is happy to find a friend that cares about the earth and his project? Anyway Sunday night comes and I am on my way to his house. He lives in some gorgeous townhouse off a main street. The stairwell spirals up the 3 floors of the house with exotic trees growing in between the landings and reaching up through the center of the spiral stairs. There are pictures of artwork he's collected as well as some chameleon named after him in the rain forest in Tanzania as a thankyou to his conservation efforts. I get to the second landing before his kitchen and I hear to my DREAD some fucking jazz music. Oh hell no. I immediately am like: I need to use your toilet. So I go to his immensely large bathroom which also has little trees growing in there in between the large sink and deep teal painted clawed foot tub. I am texting my Aries witch friend cause she lives around the corner like: GURL GET ME THE FUCK!! OUT OF HERE!! and she's like: Oh no baby you's in danger, let me know if you need help. So I gather my strength like: Ok he can't be this delusional especially after the Talk and the Tarot on his lovelife and the fact that he's old enough to be my dad, so let me keep the convo friendly and hopefully this will be a big misunderstanding.

I mean by now you know my fool meter is immensely high, but anwyay I go into his kitchen and I ask him boldly what's the occasion for this dinner? So he skirts the question by saying how he designed his home after stuff in Louisiana that he misses blahblah and stuff from the rainforest I am like: Cool, whats the occasion for this dinner? And he's like: You know, celebrating friendship, you want wine? I don't want wine cause I told him I need to go home early I have to work, and he mentions the spare bedroom on the top floor. I tell him I'm uninterested in staying over even though yes it's conveniently 10 minutes walk from my job but I have house plants to take care of (yeah I use that house plants excuse I don't give a fuck! lol).  Anyway he steers the conversation to the fresh oysters he just shucked. So we are eating oysters, I try not to put any energy on the nature of him eating his oysters and I direct the conversation to how he came about conserving the rainforest, his networking skills and how he raised money to buy that much land and plant millions of trees. I end up gleaning a lot of helpful and not so much helpful info (I mean, it just helps if you are a wealthy well connected white man lmao), and we even talk about other interesting stuff like I get him to talk about how the stock market works, his daily routine at the members club I work at, William Kamkwamba who built the windmill in Malawi from some inspo from library books (his ex brother in law made a film about it which he suggested I stay over to watch with him, which I declined cause of my house plants I needed to get back to at home), his divorce he can't stop talking about cause he's not truly over it. Anyway dinner is nice, we eat some very unseasoned gumbo he made that reminds him of his childhood and throughout the dinner I am doing shielding energy exercises and channeling the power of Saturn to re-affirm my boundaries and practice the glorious power of "No". So with Saturn's channeled influence I am ready to put an end to the night and I am like: thanks for everything I think I'll go now, but before I go should I help with the dishes? He says no cause: It's a one-man show. I ask him to Elaborate, and instead he offers me to get some chocolate so I am like.. ok... 

Anyway he is standing at the other side of his kitchen so I get up to get some and he turns around to embrace me, and y'all... it's a LONG and UNCOMFORTABLE hug complete with 1. back rubbing, 2. neck sniffing, 3. aura invading, so I pull away to ask about what chocolate it is and it's dark chocolate oh god. Anyway this is actually the beginning of the climax of the tension of the night to my foolish self cause this man who is unwillingly ignoring my discomfort has the fucking audacity to ask the question: Do you like dancing? I literally answer him with the same boldness that he asked that question: I hate dancing and never danced in my life. lol. He wasn't taking No for an answer so he decided to be like: Let me show you music I like to dance to. So he puts on some old 70s-esque rock and starts dancing alone in his living room like: Dance with me! I am like No. He says something like: I love dancing it helps to open you up. We all just got to get over our embarrassment and let loose! I am like: Ok I gotta let loose in your toilet again be right back.

So I hide in his bathroom again texting my witch friend like: S.O.S. BITCH let me come over to your apartment and she's like: Oh sorry I am in a party in north London .............. 😭

So I go out to face the mess and he's now trying to get another song I could potentially relate to so he's like: Let me play this song my 13 year old picked out for me.. Great..  Next thing my Ears are hearing is: Mr. Brightside by the Killers and I am dying y'all.. I am over it.. He is taking my laughter as an invitation to get me to dance but now with the full power of Saturn I was like: No. I am going home, I don't feel well, I have been having some kidney issues ("Oh is that why you were always in the bathroom?"- "Yeah that's.. why.. definitely..") and I gotta get up early. So he looks sad. I am like it's ok, we can hang out in the day time, outside of your home next time and talk more about the rainforest conservation. He's like, ok but before you go we have to do this? I am like: Do what?

NEXT THING I KNOW TO MY HORROR I SEE HIM LEAN IN, TAKE MY SIDES AND TRY TO KISS ME AND I AM LIKE: 

NO!!

I Push him away, and FLY down his 3 flights of stairs, spiraling down his house, and he's chasing me like fucking No-Face chasing Chihiro saying: I WASN'T GOING TO PUT MY TONGUE IN YOUR MOUTH!! The fact that he said that I could feel my fucking bootyhole clench with dismay. I was mortified. I grabbed my shoes and was like.. see you around I guess (He is a regular at my job lol), and I fly down the street. 

When I get home he texts me if I have a moment for a chat so I am like ok fine why not? He fucking VIDEO CALLS ME and on top of it is eating something fucking nasty and I have misophonia so I am fucking disgusted and I turn off my video (I mean its like modern millenial tech etiquette but video calls are pretty intimate or you have to prepare for them, just springing up a video chat is a bit violating?) and he's like: Oh should I turn off my video too? I don't answer.. so he does..

So he calls to essentially apologize. He admits that I at MANY TIMES have expressed that I was not interested in any relationship other than friendship and that he just wanted a friendly kiss on the mouth and it wasn't supposed to be sexual. Ok... He also says that he doesn't understand why we can't be intimate and be friends.. With my DEAD SILENCE he then fills it like: Ok yeah that's true there is a massive age gap and different comforts with intimacy.. He then admits he has a sexual attraction to me and it would be dishonest to say otherwise but we should still be friends.. I am like: I wouldn't mind being friends but I can't trust someone who doesn't respect my boundaries like I have boundaries. We end with him saying: I understand, you have your boundaries then.. Lol.

Anyway as a blessing I haven't seen him since..

It took me like a full several days later after seeing another witchy friend who asked me about my new moon libra rituals I realized I didn't get to HAVE ANY cause he fucking Eclipsed my night with his bullshittery, that it was actually my fault as I gave him an idea to use that evening to try to find a partner when I did his tarot reading on Autumn Eve but instead he was trying to use all kinds of tricks of seduction for me to be his unwilling cheerleader. Goes to show that a man can spend years of his life planting 16.7 million trees and still be trash lol.

-------

Other than those recent drama episodes not much has happened to me other than some resurfaced trauma and closure from years ago in college that ended a chapter in my life for me once Pluto came out of retrograde. Other mildly exciting news, I also worked my Alchemist friend's bar yesterday on Sunday for a Fungi Fest in Hoxton. (Look up her work she's Mama Xanadu she does cool shit.) She made non-alcoholic cocktails potions with spirits based with roots and herbs like damiana, maca, passion flower etc that makes you feel energized but also mellow (three spirit is one of the partners that work with her their stuff is kind of nice though you do feel like you're drinking some type of brew) and her brews were made from different mushroom infusions like one was a delicious turkeytail brew made with hibiscus and douglas fir and another was with kombucha and seabuckthorn juice and one with a mushroom named amethyst deceiver and hops. She also makes her own essences and made some mushroom essences (like flower essences but with the vibrational influence of mushrooms) to add in there. I met some interesting and Strange people like you do at any alternative spiritualish wholesome event. I met a beautiful boy who is sadly in a relationship that we vibed very hard to the unfortunate dismay of his disgruntled girlfriend and I met a couple from poland who looked like a lost boys vampire couple (one was dressed in a black iridescent latex trenchcoat with one long earring with playing cards attached to it with long hair and his girlfriend had like layers of black scarves and coat like some mori grunge style with a black bowl hat on) who were trying to convince me how MDMA is the same as medicinal mushrooms and that it's its own type of spiritual ritual now. (I was like, sure Jäan..). Now that I have had a moment to like rest and reflect, and accept that I can't save some of my house plants and my life's direction still seems so uncertain and Hot Mess I am like ready to focus on my craft again and interact with my blog lol.

Anyway if you read until the end wow, thanks so much. I hope you had a great new moon.

[kierongillen]

Writer Notes: The Wicked + the Divine 41

Spoilers, obv.

After last issue's formalism, this one just accelerates. And, as everything in this arc, everything is a big beat. If everything is a big beat, how do you choose what to spend your space on? What beats really matter? How do you pace it? What can be a grace note and what's a scene? That's what this issue, and the rest of the arc, tends to be about.

This issue has gone down very well. I'll admit that while I absolutely gasped when I got paged in, I suspect it's going to be least favourite of the whole arc. That more says how much I enjoy the rest of the arc. Also, as a friend put it to me, I may be allergic to making people happy.

Let’s get on with this.

Jamie and Matt's cover:

There is, to some degree, a "Who hasn't had a headshot cover?" to this arc. As such, Mimir finally gets his. This is a glorious one – the pinks and blues, work really well, and the circuitboards frame it well. Obviously, Mimir plays a big role in this issue, so it is thematic. As is…

Paulina's cover

I just love Paulina's covers, as her being the regular alt-cover artist on Thunderbolt should imply. This made me want to immediately pitch a kick-ass pop D&D bard comic to someone, Xena Warrior Princess as produced by Xenomania. The names of the swords are the chef-kiss, but there's so much to love. The expression is everything.

Page 1

One page scene, with a modified nine panel grid. The one page scene is something that happens a lot this arc. I did a two-page version, but with the right seven panels, we're sorted. Yes, this is all we see of the de facto antagonists of the series this issue – when last issue was all about them, it doesn't worry me too much.

Page 2

Standard music journalist concept. That the second album tends to be worst than the first. Hard to prove, though my old friend Peter's note that "you have your whole life preparing for your first album and have a year to do your second" does seem to imply an easy explanation.

Page 3-4-5

Stealth mission! It's Metal Gear WicDiv!

We actually forgot to add the flashes to the first panel until the very last minute. Monthly Comics is a hell of a time sometimes, stress the “hell.”

I love the determination of Laura in the second panel of 3. That's great eyes.

Looking at this now, that "I can't do much now" is in a panel smaller than 1/9th of the page says a lot about the scale she's working on. The background was Matt in full trippy mode – I had a friend note that this scene is a little akin to Kohl in Rue Britannia 5 (The difference being Kohl is using nostalgia for a performance, while Laura is just doing a performance) but the moving squiggle does remind me the use of optical illusions in Phonogram 3. Bugs in the optic nerve are our friend.

Panel 3 on 4 is obviously Clayton living large and conquering. When you ask for something like "Can you sample the background and use as a speech balloon" you have no idea if it's going to work.

We could have divided the middle panel into two, but I suspect it'd have been less effective. We've seen the trick before. Now we see the same trick, but different. Mix it up. We're performers.

Hmm. I realise the Norns string of balloons is something I'm doing more often now – it's not something I've always done. I'm normally a one-panel-one-emotion, which strings of dialogue rarely allow (as, if there’s any change of emotion inside the string, the image is rendered ludicrous). In a middle shot, and a strong emotional throughline with the dialogue and I'm more okay with it.

While this whole three pages is an action sequence, it's also exposition for Laura's current state. The best exposition is demonstration, I guess.

I mean, the last panel of page 5? That's how cut to the bone we are. Problem? Solve it. Problem? Solve it. We don't need to fuck around anymore.

Page 6-7-8

And after six whole trades, the reunion between Lucifer and Laura. I suspect a different writer would have played this bigger and more melodramatic, but when the reader knows this, a splash feels overkill, especially with the taut pacing of the rest of the issue. However... there are five panels here. That's a page's worth of content, and enough to give an emotional throughline.

Sometimes when writing it's all about trying to find an honest response which is also unexpected. Like, in life, you think you'll feel sad or happy at certain times, but when you live through it, you don't. Or you don't entirely. What other stuff is happening? That's what rings true to me.

Anyway – that's where Laura's Guilt comes from. Laura at her most Dionysus.

And then Lucifer shatters all that self pity with the wink. Did you miss me? Of course, you did.

Page 7, panel 4 is one of those "a comic panel is not a moment in time" bits of magic McLeod always talks about. As in, as we read across the panel time progresses. The Mimir/Cass conversation is getting on for... 10 seconds, maybe? The teleport signatures do not take that long to appear. It's only with Laura's interruption that panel kicks into high gear.

As Multiversity noted you can easily imagine another draft of this with a bigger fight scene. And it's true – but also lying around was a version which cuts it even shorter. Do we need to really give a whole page to Cass breaking out? I felt so. Without the big beat, it feels flat. And it's good to see Cass let rip.

The slight angle on Jamie's external shot with a Norns black/white plus golden thread from Matt is really interesting. We don't often see the Norns as combatants in WicDiv, so this is a rare chance to give Cass a "Hello, I am a bad ass too, in case you've forgotten."

Page 9-10-11-12

Cripes. Going this and making notes I can't believe how tightly we're winding this and (more so) getting away from it. We did all this in four pages?

Two panels to the escape – the right image and a handful of taut captions to hold you between scenes. The first is doing a lot of work, but the second is just elegant. What do you need but the broken doors? Great stuff by Jamie here.

(Laura's captions do a lot of work here in setting up the themes, and the return of Sakhmet's memory to the story)

If you're wondering "How on earth could we get the escape be quicker, it's to take the first two panels on page 8 and move to the previous page. That makes it a five panel page, which is entirely do-able. That's a cost, but it would have bought slightly more space in this scene. As it is, I preferred to cut mid-page and end with Lucifer's first spoken lines in ages.

Once more, a big reveal in a small panel. Chrissy's note on the script was basically hearts for Luci at this point. Like, the second she cuts to the chase and tell s people what to do...

...and then the page turn, and she just goes full Lucifer. I know you lot have missed her, but I have too.

Getting back to Inanna was also easy, the sweetheart... but it all leads back to Sakhmet. That Mothering Invention was as tight as it was didn't leave much room for Laura to think about Sakhmet, or mourn at all... or, most of all, make it clear the story (and Laura) considers her loss important and real. It's an awful sad panel at the end of the page.

Inanna's voice was easy to find again. He's such a sweetheart. Tara is a little harder, just as I wrote her less, but I've been fascinated by this arc in terms of writing her as an actual character. I think one of the ironies of issue 13 was that it put Tara on a pedestal, and the pedestal is an objectifying as any other cage. Getting her back as a character is wonderful, and she gets to be as messy and flawed as everyone else.

Inanna not knowing ANY of this is hard. That's the problem with most of this arc – there is so much information flying around, and secrets some (but not all) are aware of. Who gets to respond to what and when? What to remind people of? What to let slide? Inanna not knowing about Baal is so huge it had to be hit and hit hard.

And then... the bodies.

When plotting this and trying to work out how I could get the cast – oh god, this is not a deliberate pun, but it's also clearly a pun - back on their feet, I was thinking of the Morrigan Gambit. Three heads, three bodies. Perfect. Then I remembered Mimir, and swore. I started to think about how that would be a tense, dramatic situation and how the personal politics could play out and I realised that Tara would just turn it down. I then realised that's exactly how the scene would work too.

(In a "tightness" thing, I suspect in another world, this scene would have been two pages. The "and Tara then just butts in" is the key thing, but you could get the timing a little more intricate to sell the moment more – still, even in this page, I could have extended it more, but seeing Tara's elaboration and everyone else's response to it was just key work for them all.)

In passing – Mimir's glowing in the dark in the penultimate panel just wonderful. Nice work Jamie and Matt.

Page 13

From the Sisters of Mercy's song, Marian.

Page 14-15-16-17

Here's where you talk about spending space. What's important here? You need the scale to show what Baph has been doing – and Jamie turns it into something astoundingly gothic. The use of blacks, the use of light and shade. Just the right level of suggestive. It’s one of my favourite bits of composition in the issue.

As the pantheon are getting back together, this leads to an increase in crowd scenes, which are the eternal artist killer. As such, I'm looking for solutions which only involve the absolute minimum of the cast in a scene.

Thee was an awful moment earlier in the issue when I went – wait! Do I have too many heads to carry? Then I realised I was fine. That said, finding places to put them down so we can have chat scenes was also somewhat tricky. The shelf turning up on page 15 is an example. Clealry Baph planned to (er) have a place to keep heads.

Well, I say, Baph, but it's clearly Nergal now. The road from early Nick Cave to late Nick Cave has been a long way. It's a great shot.

To go back to the space, why spend it on this? We’re reintroducing Nergal and Morrigan, and we’re also showing the scale of them in the plot, and the actions of Nergal. Where we go with the bodies is such a big beat, it needs to come from something similarly large. That’s also the reason why so much (relative in the issue) space is spent on the Morrigan/Nergal scenes. Of course, it’s also a key scene for this subplot, so demands space for that. It’s rarely just one reason. Probably a useful time for my usual “these notes are only ever a selection of thoughts.”

This is also a serious pose panel by Jamie.

The “I could bring her back.” He’s an underworld god too. If she could do it, he could. This is something which I suspect some people thought implicit in the old scene, but the final manipulation of Morrigan is unpacked at length in the nine panel grids.

Nine panel grids are a natural rhythm for this – when I was planning the later bit the triple-goddess of it made obvious sense, so it expanded to the whole scene. Also, the cropped image reduces the possibility of a Jamie crowd scene.

I always thought that, given the amount of time the various characters get on film, Ladyhawke could more accurately be called Blokeywolf. I digress.

Page 18-19-20

As said earlier, the triple-goddess to nine panel grid is one of those natural ways to give a stress to each of the elements. You’ll notice the clicks are left then right then centre. I’d originally written it as left to right, before – after Chrissy’s Editorial urging – rewrote to end with the Macha section to go last. Gentle Annie may have been the kinder part of Morrigan, but Macha was the part he mostly dated.

Then, in a moment of weirdness, Jamie actually drew it in the original order, despite never having seen that script. Morrigan has powers, as does the logical necessity of a left to right panelling order. As a nine panel grid, just moving panels around to fix it is easy. Hail grids!

Like most of the big acts of magic, it’s all about emotional sense than anything else. Hence, it is inevitable as Nergal actually does this, the bleak temple he’s constructed starts to crumble. And, in perhaps the most ludicrous bit of me in the comic, The Temple Of Love Is Falling Down. Too much is the bare minimum.

Jamie’s triple-portrait of the Morrigan is pretty startling. I have no idea if Jamie will miss drawing Badb’s hair, but I’ll miss seeing it.

Re-reading this now I’m struck by how low-key it is. That was always part of WicDiv’s magic – the finger click, and then things happening. The Morrigan transformation was usually drawn to be instantaneous – one panel Macha, the next Badb and so on. This kind of keeps to that.

And then… the reveal. That the new bodies isn’t a splash page says everything about this issue, but it still gets the punching the air moment. We had to have one of those eventually. Lucifer in a black suit is one of the things I’ve been waiting as long to see as Nergal in his. I giggled with glee at seeing this. Jamie’s worked in elements of the Morrigan into each of the gods – Lucifer’s red hair is the most obvious one, but Gentle Annie in Inanna and Macha in Mimir also have their notes. Inanna’s netting top is the main one – and note the shapes on Mimir’s armour changing to mimic Macha’s.

Yes, writing Lucifer remains fun and easy. I recommend it to everyone.

Page 21-22

In terms of seeing chat, people responding to the small details in the issue is one of the bigger joys. That Jamie got the Inanna/Nergal hug in the background of this exchange between Laura/Lucifer/Cass is absolutely wonderful. Laura and Cass have come a long way.

This is arguably a small cliffhanger – the smallest of this arc, at least. However, it sits on the weight of the rest of the run. We’re promising a solution to one of the larger mysteries in the run, and I suspect we get by on that. Note how space is used – this is a dense panel layout, but we go to a thired of a page for Laura’s “I know how to end this” (so giving it weight” and then going to three panel page for the conclusion (which adds weight to each of these beats.) Jamie takes the framing to tight on Cass for the beat as well to sell it. Note Matt with the Norn-colouring creeping in – and how it goes from the fires in the first panel to this is just a joy.

Page 23

Interstitial, and obvious reference to the Jay-Z record, but everyone is just excitedly clapping over the adding stuff to the godwheel. Sergio outdid himself here. It’s certainly an example of how you can have storytelling and even hero-shot audience-cheers beats out of things entirely unlike a traditional comics panel. After all these issue,s we get to see something added to the godwheel. Of course people cheer. That said,  as I said to a friend, “Of all the things I’ve found to torture the WicDiv readership, hope is the cruelest of all.”

EDIT: Actually, I messed up here - Jamie did the tweaks. Nice work Jamie!

And that’s it. Next up – 42, wherein questions are answered. In passing – the letters we’ve been getting are amazing. I’m going to try and cram as many as I can in the issues to come, but issue 44 will be our last one with a letters page. So that’s a timelimit if you wanna try and get in. It’s wicdiv@gmail.com.

Thanks for reading.

[cultofthepigeon]

Venom Reading Order Part 8.

The Garggle Era. The Adventures of McVenom a duo of a tragically crazed alien symbiote and an ex PI driven by a need for recognition.

And all of it is mostly a few panels per comic, taking back seat to 

CIVIL FUCKING WAR

That’s right this entire host era is nothing but side fodder for or Iraq War Military Superhero fanfic

We’ve got your detainment without charges, your imprisonment without trial, your Stark Brand(tm) concentration camps, your shredding of privacy and civil liberties. We even got this wailing mother with a dead kid as an excuse for it all!!  

Anyways yeah this entire era is literally just propaganda for military recruitment and the Iraq War with McVenom in the background sometimes enjoy.

Part 8: Wait who’s reading order list was this?

Amazing Spider-man #533 (August, 2006)- Yes yes spider-man support forcing people to register with the government Or Else and then everyone clapped more importantly this is another 1 panel of Eddie Brock and the DISRESPECT

Civil War #4 (August, 2006) This is a real big fuckin moment to just DROP into for a one page cameo of McVenom at the end but honestly you gotta jump into this clusterfuck somewhere might as well be now

Civil War #5 (September, 2006) McVenom in a few panels. I’d say don’t bother but please read to just see how fucking awful Stark and Reed are.

Civil War: Choosing Sides (October, 2006) McVenom gets a cool fuckin intro in this whole mess of an event and then is never utilized as well again. A sort of flash back of how he got put in the Thunderbolts.

Civil War #6 (October, 2006) McVenom cameo and the sound of me screaming at Captain America to BEAT. ASS.

Civil War #7 (January, 2007) McVenom cameo and and ending more unsettling than 1984.

Beyond #1 (September, 2006) McVenom in a good old fashioned honest to god super hero story. Good for them!

Beyond #2 (October, 2006) McVenom. This Is Horny. McVenom finally gets a horny scene good for him.

Beyond #4 (December, 2006) McVenom wins something for once.

Beyond #5 (January, 2007) McVenom. Having a difficult time and honestly making me think Mac’s just a bottom

Beyond #6 (February, 2007)  McVenom. Mac gets some characterization as...honestly having some heart and that’s honestly really sweet. This will not happen again for 3 years.

Civil War: The Initiative (April, 2007) McVenom cameo and solid intro to The Thunderbolts and the world the next several issues takes place in. This One Ends With A Preview of a Young Girls Journey From Spunky Dory Teen to Conscripted Soulless Brainwashed Military Killing Machine! and its suppose to be an ideal to aspire to!  USA! US! USA!

Spider-man family #1 (April, 2007) Venom. Lets take a break from the war propaganda and cozy down to a nice little flash back story about how the symbiote viewed Peter Parker as home and how utterly crushing that is

Spider-man Family #2 (June, 2007) Venom. A more Eddie Brock focused. Another one that shows us his former journalism side with a fun helpful reminded that the symbiote was always just helping him be an absolute madman.

Spider-man Family #3 (August, 2007) McVenom. In which Mac Gargan might not be my favorite host but by god his level of pettiness and his need for attention is so gd relateable it endears me to him anyways. Guest staring a pseudo-symbiote which i think is rife with future writing opportunities.

Thunderbolts #110 (March, 2007) McVenom cameo. And so we begin. They’re suppose to be the bad guys right?

Thunderbolts #111 (April, 2007)  THEY’RE SUPPOSE TO BE THE BAD GUYS RIGHT?

Thunderbolts #112 (May, 2007) McVenom gets a few pages to shine as we learn more about The Team. And boy Mac would’ve been a really great character for exploring this symbiote=addiction metaphor but instead everyone ignored Mac and half-assed it on literally every other host instead.

Thunderbolts #113 (June, 2007) McVenom is only in the background but it’s ok because we get a proper intro to my Official Sad Boy Penance and you start to realize this entire comic is going to be the Normon Osborn Show and you know what? It’s going to be fun and  wait I think...I think i can trust Mr. Ellis

Thunderbolts #114 (July, 2007) McVenom. I’ve decided that I can trust Mr. Ellis based entirely on that tv commercial page

Thunderbolts: Desperate Measures (July, 2007) McVenom in the background of one panel but ROBBIE

Nova #2 (July, 2007) McVenom appearance on last page. But at least we get to see how crazy this civil war shit seem from an outside perspective

Nova #3 (August, 2007) Nova, a character I give no shits about, blessedly foreshadows something that will eventually put an end to the civil war miscarriage of writing and also Robbie

Thunderbolts #115 (August, 2007) McVenom. I S T A N American Eagle and Ellis for showing the sort of shit that would actually happen if any group of humans had to “register” or face being arrested and also what happens when you force people into being military running dogs. Someone please help Robbie

Thunderbolts #116 (October, 2007) McVenom. I keep forgetting I’m reading this for Venom but then Mac get’s upset at people saying he eats people even tho he ate a guys arm last issue. Amazing.

Thunderbolts #117 (October, 2007) No McVenom but the writing for all of this is so god damn good and this was the issue I realized I wasn’t just reading for Venom anymore so just LOOK AT IT.

Sensational Spider-man #38 (August, 2007) Oh thank god Eddie Brock is back damn I hope he doesn’t get wrapped up in any of this civil war nonsense

Sensational Spider-man #39 (September, 2007) THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT

Sub-mariner #2 (September, 2007) McVenom get sent to kill a leader of a foreign country who is investigating a terrorist attack done by his countrymen. tony stark continues to be a boot licking chode and acts like he didn’t almost start a war with Atlantis to get his gestapo law passed.

Sub-mariner #3 (October, 2007)  McVenom. Did you want a picture of McVenom fighting an otter with winged feet in the style of  Renaissance painting of Greek mythology? No? Do you think I care?

Sub-mariner #4 (November, 2007) McVenom. Is there an importance to feet wings I Don’t know?? And apparently Mac gets knocked unconscious with his eyes open. Oh look the Reeds had a baby! I wonder when her first human rights violation will be

Penance: Relentless #1 (September, 2007) McVenom in a few panels and I have...no idea....what the fuck he’s talking about

Penance: Relentless #2 (October, 2008) McVenom isn’t in this one but like  I KNOW PENCIL STACHE HITLER AIN’T GOING AFTER MY BOY

Penance: Relentless #3 (November, 2007) McVenom brief appearance

Penance Relentless # 4 (November, 2007) No McVenom in this one but I promise they’re in the next one just sit back and watch the utter drama of all of this while you wait

Penance Relentless #5 (January, 2008) McVenom.........does not appear in this one either I lied I just really love Robbie please I just want the best for him and I need someone to talk about it with oh my god

Spider-man/Red Sonja #2 (November, 2007) Venom. Let’s take a break from all the depression and fascism to enjoy a flashback to original Venom flavor with a taste of Game of Thrones. 

Spider-man/Red Sonja #3 (December, 2007) Venom. Even in dungeons and dragons land people be breaking Eddie and the symbiote up

Spider-man/Red Sonja #4 (January, 2008) Venom. Just more bad rpg shenanigans but Red Sonja does seem fun. I wonder if symby is thinking in bad mid evil now too

Spider-man/Red Sonja #5 (February, 2008) Venom. Listen not to be That Bitch but the power of love saved the day symby saw Eddie Brock and immediately jumped back to him weakening the main bad guy and in direct parallel to MJ and Spider-man getting back together so I can forgive all the awful facial art

Thunderbolts: Breaking Point (January, 2008) McVenom small appearance. The Jury gets take down in a few panels and I’m actually kinda sad about it

Thunderbolts: International Incident (February, 2008) McVenom and just the most amazing opening line from them god bless.

World War Hulk: Damage Control #1 (January, 2008) McVenom on the last page

World War Hulk: Damage Control #2 (February, 2008) McVenom. An issue entirely dedicated to why a super human registration would be a bureaucratic nightmare and also gargan and symb are there making faces in the background.

Thunderbolts #118 (February, 2008) McVenom gets some time to shine as shit starts to Go Down and GOD symb comes out for a bit just to bitch about mac being a bad host and its great god bless. Symb killing a bunch of fascist security cops god BLESS

Thunderbolts #119 (March, 2008) McVenom and GOD this entire comic is satisfying just to watch this whole pro-registration shit show implode from the inside

Thunderbolts #120 (March, 2008) McVenom and Norman “I have to do everything myself around here” Osborn and speedball getting therapy JESUS IT JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER

Thunderbolts #121 (June, 2008) *bowing and crying*

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[readingwebcomics]

Analyzing Questionable Content: Pages 1-50

And so it begins.

The very first comic of Questionable Content, posted way back in 2003 and what would eventually be Jeff Jacques’ claim to fame, the reason why everyone remembers his name and what has made him a wealthy man today.

…’s alright.

Of course, by modern standards it’s not very good. This was the early 2000s, the wild west of online artists who had nothing more than an art creation software and a dream. The Webcomic Review has a VERY good post about it right here, which explains what the landscape of webcomics were like around this time and why exactly Marten has a pet robot (tl;dr, EVERYONE had a pet robot in ye early days of webcomics because Megatokyo).

But aside from the… awkward art, this comic at least serves to set up the protagonist (as far as we’re aware right now, we’ll get into the roles of protagonists in QC later). He’s a lanky, assumedly average guy who hates where he is in life but doesn’t know what else to do or even where else to go…

…as he goes on to spell out two comics later. He’s unassuming, not really much you can say for or against him, miserable and stuck in a rut in his life that he’s too scared to escape. Sooo basically, freshly graduated college students – the exact kind of audience a RomCom like this would go after.

Oh, did I forget to mention?

Yeah, QC started off as a RomCom.

This young woman is Faye, and she immediately cuts through the bullshit with an aggressive but to-the-point introduction of herself and her intentions.

While aggressive and to-the-point, she’s also set up as someone who meshes with Marten and Steve’s interests well enough and quickly makes friends. This is probably best exemplified in the seventh page, which serves two purposes:

Purpose the First: Showcase Marten and Faye have a shared niche interest, immediately establishing chemistry between the two of them. Be it platonic or romantic, they’re quickly hitting it off and, being a RomCom, will serve as the first rope potential shippers can grasp onto.

Purpose the Second: Jeff is a MASSIVE indie music nerd and he wants the fucking world to know it.

Also Pintsize is there doing funny robot things because 2003 webcomic.

It’s not long before this initial relationship is set up that two issues serve to sew the seeds of initial conflict:

This, likewise, serves two purposes: To show where Faye works and create a believable life for her to exist in when she’s not in the story with Marten, and as previously stated to sew potential romantic conflicts in the future. Jeff employs this tactic many-a-time throughout the course of Questionable Content, beginning a conflict and letting the implications sit with the reader while life goes on in the regular comics. Is this good writing? I honestly can’t say. Is it always done well? Oh good God no, some plot beats are outright dropped or left to sit for so long the reader straight-up forgets it’s there with this method. But does Jeff make it work? It’s all on personal taste I’d say, but personally it sits well with me.

Also, for those of you wondering why it looks like the word “hump” is just pasted onto the text bubble in post… well it was. The original comic implied sexual assault much more overtly, using the R-word instead of “hump.”

*Away from mic* Wait, can-can I say [NOPE]? Better not to risk it? Alright, fair ‘nuff.

But yeah, this was pointed out by readers to be pretty fucked up and it was swiftly changed, for good reason.

Later that night, Faye asks Marten to dinner with her. Platonically, of course. And here I believe I should point out the dynamic of their relationship as it stands – Faye is the aggressor. Marten is basically a doormat. Whenever something happens, Faye is always the instigator, be it going out to dinner or tagging along with him when he’s getting shopping done. This will feed into their relationship dynamic and sets up a decent inter-personal conflict: Marten is far too passive to reach out to Faye and make the move to start something, but Faye, despite how openly and quickly she attaches herself to Marten’s life, never takes that step into making it romantic. The two clearly have the hots for each other, but their respective personalities make it so neither one crosses that threshold.

Yes I know this is basic character writing for a RomCom 101, but the fact that so much about these characters are said in 12 four-panel comics says a lot. It hooks the reader quickly and gets them on the page Jeff wants them to be, and I respect that.

And in the next page, Faye’s aggression takes on a new level, albeit extremely briefly.

This is an isolated incident of actual physical aggression rather than implications and threats in these first 50 pages, but it becomes a trend as we go along – one that feeds into Faye’s character, mind, so it’s not just physical abuse for humor’s sake – so just keep it in mind as we go along.

Also on a personal note the actual restaurant they go to is simultaneously the worst and best idea I’ve ever heard of:

This is horrible. I should not encourage this. And yet some dark part of me finds the concept utterly hilarious even though I know I’m a piece of shit for liking it.

Actually, now some part of me wants to do the exact opposite – advertise a place as a steakhouse only serve an all-vegan menu. It feels less mean but just as funny to me.

…oh right, the comic.

After sharing dinner, exchanging banter that establishes good chemistry and parting ways, we come to this comic that I’m only showing because I’m a slut for good puns and I will take any and all opportunities to share with people.

(Pintsize totally won that round with the John the Baptist zinger by the way, if I’m allowed to judge this.)

And one page later, we get the biggest shake-up in the comic thus far:

It’s established Faye herself ended up burning down the apartment because she burnt toast, but that’s not really important. I know, the fact Faye BURNT DOWN A BUILDING isn’t important sounds completely ridiculous, but follow me here – the important thing for this setup isn’t the how, but the why. “How did Faye’s apartment burn down?” isn’t the question Jeff, nor the audience, is intended to be asking, that’s merely a vessel into the situation we’re in – the answer of “Why did Faye’s apartment burn down?” which is, of course, so Marten and Faye can become roommates and facilitate future antics and further their relationship. Familiarity breeds into both affection and conflict, and the obvious case of “Well you two are already living together, aren’t you?” will serve to further the flames of their potential relationship with one another.

…granted, a better reason to create this setup would’ve been nice, and from a writing standpoint it’s ridiculous that Faye never suffers any consequences for burning an entire BUILDING down, one that had many more people than just her in it. If present-day Jeff wrote this plotline… actually. Now that I think about it, Jeff DOES re-do this plot point and make it make a lot more sense and have a lot more impact on everyone involved.

But we’ll get to that when we eventually talk about Brun…. Three thousand and something pages from now.

Either way, my point stands: This plot thread serves mostly to create the situation we’re facing now, one where Faye and Marten end up living together. This shake-up to the early comic settles us into the new status quo, one that we’ll be riding with comfortably for the foreseeable future.

Further evidence of Faye’s aggressive and troll-ish nature… one that may or may not play into future revelations about her, now that I think about it.

Remember what I said about sewing the seeds of drama? Well here we stand now – a misunderstanding, or the beginning of genuine conflict between these two?

The answer is… they talk it out like actual goddamn adults, avoiding a stupid, unnecessary fight.

Honestly? Kind of refreshing. But what makes it better is the following page:

Honestly? This moment never fails to make me laugh. The one-two punch of complete betrayal of the reader’s expectations as well as the utter dismantling and defusal of the romantic interest subplot between these two dorks – while denying some genuine romantic conflict that may force Faye into being more upfront with how she feels about the situation – is a fun denial of the kinds of RomCom clichés that one might expect to find in this story.

Sure, there are other stories that do this better, I’m not denying that. But isolated in a bubble, this stands by itself and, frankly, works well enough for the story Jeff’s telling.

Also say goodbye to Sara, once she walks out that door she goes to join the little sister from Family Matters and the big brother from Happy Days on the twisted Island of Irrelevancy, visiting the story only when she can spare the time to craft a raft out of banana leafs and... where was I going with this?

…okay, personal story time. The Walmart I’m doing contract work for this week has a CD display of new-ish albums, and honest-to-God I completely forgot music CDs were even a THING. MP3s have spoiled us, and I now feel old for some reason.

Right, getting back on track.

I wanted to show this comic to establish three things.

1) Marten is the kind of person who sits on things that bother him and lets them stew for awhile. As established in the previous image I showed with Marten and Steve at the music store, it’s been at least a day since what happened with Sara and Marten’s still thinking about it. This, for better or worse, becomes a core part of Marten’s character moving forward.

2) Faye, for all her faults, is a genuinely good friend who cares about Marten and knows when to channel her natural aggression into support rather than ribbing.

3) This is another comic that always makes me laugh whenever I read it. Yes I know that’s much less of a real reason than my other two points but let me have this dammit.

This particular page itself isn’t terribly important to the ongoing narrative but I wanted to include it because it introduces QC’s unquestionably best character, Jim. Hi Jim! I like Jim.

(He’s a minor character at best but he’s just so earnest and fun and every time Jeff brings him back he just gets better and better.)

Oh, and for those who were skeptical that the more-than-platonic interest was mutual between Marten and Faye, the next two issues serve to showcase that… yeah, both parties TOTALLY have the hots for each other.

The first of those two comics, by the way, gets called back to much later down the line. And the fact that Faye speaks in a southern accent is more than just a joke, it’s going to be touched on more later.

Jeff says in the description of this comic that this is based on personal experience, and it shows – this is the most backbone Marten displays to my memory.

And in the very next page, we’re introduced to a new character – although you wouldn’t guess it from her appearance.

That’s Raven. I like Raven. Her personality changes a ton once she’s properly introduced as a character and not a nameless employee, but for posterity’s sake: Here’s her very first appearance in the comic.

There’s only one more important comic to touch on in this batch of fifty, and it’s about both Marten and Faye’s families:

While this could be as simple as a “har-dee-har, my family drives me up the wall,” this comic serves to say a lot about both characters once we know more about their families. Both Marten and Faye actually have very good reasons why they don’t want to see their respective families or go back to their hometowns… Faye especially so. We’ll touch more on that when we get more into her backstory.

Before we wrap things up, I’d like to do a quick comparison between page 1 and 50 to see in what small, subtle ways Jeff’s artistry has improved:

There’s not a LOT of difference, but the small details really showcases just how different they look. Small changes from the placement of everything on Marten’s face, to the size of the eyes, the width of the eyebrows… It’s good shit.

Overall, what did I think of batch 1? Well… for an early 2000s webcomic, it’s engaging. The characters are likable, the plot is progressing at an enjoyable pace, and I’m already on-board to see if Marten and Faye will get together. I mean, I know the answer, but my point stands.

Also because I’m a freak or something and like data compilation I went ahead and kept track of who showed up in what comic and made some numbers for it:

Not counting the one guest comic and two non-canon pages, Marten showed up in 45/50 pages, being in 90% of the comic so far.

Faye was in 38/50 pages, taking up 76% of the comic so far.

Pintsize comes in third place being in 15/50 comics, taking up a paltry 30% of the comic thus far when compared to the screen time Marten and Faye have taken up.

Likewise, Steve has been in only 8/50 pages, making up 16% of the comic up to this point.

Sara was in 5/50 pages, making up 10% of these first 50. That percentile will grow smaller and smaller with each update, believe you me.

Jim was in 2/50 glorious pages, making up 4% of the comic up to this point. And that was the best 4% this comic had to offer, let me tell you.

Raven, although still unnamed, I’m counting – she’s in 1/50 of the first batch of pages, making up 2% of screen time.

Tune in next week as we continue onwards to pages 51-100 where we’ll be introduced to the next major character in the series, who’s mere existence will further the plot more than anyone we’ve previously met. See you then.

[desperatelyseekingdennis]

Captain Marvel

I went into this expecting mediocrity, and was not disappointed. About on par with Ant Man and the Wasp, but without Paul Rudd to make it enjoyable.

Surprisingly, the soundtrack is absolutely the worst part of the movie. That's usually one area Marvel nails, but but here. They kept trying to use pop songs to tie the movie to the 90s, but none of them really fit the scenes. It's obviously possible to pull this off (Edgar Wright comes immediately to mind for another Ant Man comparison, or else various Iron Man scenes) so there's really no excuse.

Action and effects were passable, and the plot not the worst I've seen but still pretty bland. Despite getting a lot of screen time, I never noticed Jackson's de-aging. All told it wasn't a complete waste of money, but I definitely wish my girlfriend hadn't insisted on seeing it in the theater.

From here on out spoilers ahoy as I did deeper into my feelings about specific scenes.

(I started this right after the movie was released, and wrote a giant ten page analysis of the entire plot scene by scene.  I saved it to my drafts, forgot about it, then just now erased the entire thing and am going to try and be more focused on just the bits that don’t make sense to me)

So first of all, the “surprise twist” that drives the entire plot doesn’t work in the MCU.  The Kree have been villains in several live action properties at this point.  The entire plot to the first Guardians was that the Kree are so militaristic that a bunch of them refused to honor a peace treaty.  That they’re the put upon victims of the oppressive Skrulls just doesn’t work in this context.  Maybe if you’re a comic book fan who knows the Skrulls are *also* villains, but most viewers aren’t going to know that.  So it was obvious before they even reached Earth that Jude Law was the bad guy. They’d have been better served picking some other random alien race for her to be a part of.  Yes, I know Mar Vell is historically Kree, but he’s also historically male so clearly they don’t care that much about source material.  In a pinch, just make Mar Vell a Kree and these new guys are after her research.  

The premise that Danvers doesn’t know she’s human also doesn’t make much sense.  Did she never bleed in the six years of combat training?  Also, and maybe I’m overlooking something, but have there ever been any other white Kree?  There’s the one black guy, but even he has a sort of bluish tint.  Then there’s Jude Law and Carol being straight crackers.  ?????  Again, making not making them all Kree would have gone a long way towards fixing this.

Why did SHIELD show up at all?  Fury doesn’t believe Danvers is an alien when she claims to be one, so what exactly did they think was worth investigating?  They should have MIBed this bitch.  Either Fury is a cop that gets taken into SHIELD as a result of him killing a Skrull without training, or he’s the SHIELD agent that takes over after the cop on the scene does so.  I’m pretty sure Agents of SHIELD established that Coulson was an analyst before becoming a field agent, so using him for that roll doesn’t work well.  But given this was a GURL POWER movie, this would have been a fantastic opportunity to give Agent Hill some back story. 

In the train scene, how did she know to punch the old lady?  They’ve already established the Skrulls are so good at pretending that the Kree have to implant safe words deep in your subconscious to prove your identity, but for some reason she can spot one in a crowd of (what to her are) aliens?  For that matter, if they are telepathic, why could the one guy not identify that Fury doesn’t go by Nicholas?  That whole scene where he specifies that he only goes by Fury should have been pretty close to the surface. Even so, that scene was so bad.  It was so obviously tacked on to use as a plot device later.  The writers are aware that Fury has appeared in other movies, right? That he’s not an original character? What happened in the next twenty years that made him reevaluate people calling him Nick?  <Danvers reads his ID> “Thank’s Nicholas” “Only one person calls me Nicholas, and you aren’t my momma.  Its Fury.” Was that so hard?  

The scene with the biker was so bad.. It could have worked if they’d done something with the “why don’t you smile” line, but they didn’t.  He said it, end scene. ??? It also felt like it might have been a Terminator reference that also fell flat, but that might just be my imagination.  As it stands, it only serves as a wink and a nudge at their SJW targets, without actually providing anything for the rest of the audience.

Why is the light speed engine so important?  Mar Vell seems convinced it will bring peace to the galaxy, and Jude Law at least pretends to think it will allow them to conquer it.  But they already have the weird window portal things.  I guess the weird portals are static in space, so I can see where FTL travel independent of them would be beneficial, but hardly the game changer its being made out to be.

On the subject of pointless McGuffins, lets review the history of the Tesseract prior to this movie.  Odin loses it on Earth, where Red Skull discovers it  The Real Captain steals it from Red Skull, but loses it in the ocean where eventually Howard Stark will recover it and give it to SHIELD.  It stays with SHIELD until Loki steals it in the opening scene of the Avengers.  Its stolen like five more times before eventually Thanos uses it to murder Spiderman.  Nice chain of possession, no unexplained gaps.

Post Captain Marvel, we learn that along the way somehow the Air Force gets hold of it, where an alien managed to steal it and hide it on her space ship for at least six years before SHIELD, completely unaware of its existence, stumbles upon it.  Again, the writers are aware that there were other MCU movies before this one, right?  This isn’t really a problem per se, its just dumb.  Its answering a question nobody had, complicating a narrative for no reason except that they couldn’t come up with a non-Infinity Stone McGuffin.

When they fly into space and can’t find the space ship, Danvers is just like “Open sesame” and the ship decloaks.  ???  How worthless is Kree cloaking technology if it can be turned off remotely by somebody who doesn’t even know its there?  

It was pointed out on Twitter that the song the Supreme Intelligence dances to that she pulled out of Danver’s memories would have been released after Danvers moved to Hela. I can’t confirm that because I don’t remember what song was playing, but if true that’s pretty bad writing.  People will write it off as “she probably heard it in the car with Fury” but you can’t just invent a scene to fill in a plot hole.  That’s the writers’ job, and they didn’t do it.

There’s more to unpack in that Supreme Intelligence scene, but they mostly come down to “what are the rules of this technology?”  

Then the climax.  Oh my god the climax.  She thinks real hard and destroys the little chip that’s been blocking her powers (bee the dubs, until they explained otherwise I thought the little chip was the source of her powers), then suddenly she’s God.  No ramping up, no learning curve.  Just “oh, I can fly now and direct fire from a fucking attack cruiser doesn’t hurt me” and the movie is over.  What the actual fuck.  I can’t even put into words how bad the last act was.  

So I won’t.  Instead, I’ll talk about Thor: Ragnarok.  At the beginning of the movie, he’s cocky as hell.  He’s stupid over powered, and he knows it.  So when his sister appears he ends up losing his hammer because he’s so sure of himself that he doesn’t take a moment to think about the situation.  Then he winds up on the Junk Planet, and he’s still cocky.  He’s going to fight the champion and get off the planet then go kill his sister no big deal.  But he loses there, too.  He’s starting to lose faith in himself, but it doesn’t matter because he’s the only one that can do what needs to be done.  Finally he’s able to get off planet and back to his sister... Where he loses again. Now he’s hit rock bottom.  His people are going to die because he wasn’t strong enough to save them.  At that moment, he has a literal deus ex machina moment (in that Odin is a literal god) and regains all his power and proceeds to kick all the names and take all the ass.  (that was meant to be an Infinity War reference and not a suggestion about what his intentions re: Valkyrie, honest)  

At this point in the movie, he’s basically at the same level Danvers is at the end of hers.  Completely unstoppable, unreasonable power levels all around.  The difference is he earned his position.  He fought for it, almost died for it several times. Danvers just... thought real hard.  At any point in the movie did she lose a fight?  Was she ever in any real danger?  Even in the opening scene when she’s sparring with Jude Law its made clear that he’s incapable of beating her which is why he’s pushing her to learn to hold back.  And that’s with the power dampener.  Thor Ragnarok has *so* many problems, but at least they gave the hero a journey to go on.  And that’s accounting for the fact that he starts off pretty ridiculously powerful.  

I’m officially out of time and this is getting out of hand so I’m just going to wrap this up.  This was actually shorter than what I originally had.