#i read it for a week in 2014 and got bored and then finished it in a week in 2015

[davestriderascend]

the first time i read homestuck i read it in two weeks. granted it was still updating at the time but i literally like. did not eat, did not sleep, did not leave the house or do anything but read it during that time period. so i think its only natural (and for the best) that its taking me much longer to get through this go around

[superlinguo]

Barb Kelly

This time last year came the sudden, unexpected news of the death of Barbara F. Kelly's. Barb Kelly was one of my undergraduate lecturers, my principle PhD supervisor, and eventually a collaborator and friend. I have mentioned Barb in passing on the blog over the years, but now we've muddled through a year without her, I finally feel like I have some space to reflect on the fact she has been one of the most important influences the course of my life.

Barb was many things to many people. She managed to do this by being deeply curious about people, and had a devastatingly compelling ability to give you her full attention when you were talking with her. She was interesting because she was interested; her friendships, hobbies and tastes were eclectic and wide-ranging. There's a really beautiful obituary from our colleague Nick Evans that captures the story of Barb's life. This is my story of how Barb shaped me as a linguist, a researcher and a person.

I first encountered Barb when she was teaching in my final year of a Bachelor of Arts. The third year subject Language and Culture was a romp through kin terms, colour theory, names, primates, spatial systems, social intelligence, politeness, and so much more. Barb was an enthusiastic lecturer, with anecdotes, contextualisation and rich examples every week.

One week she introduced us to the topic of gesture. I was intrigued! How had I made it through a whole degree without encountering this work! (now that I write courses, I know how hard it is to find space in the curriculum for every topic worthy of attention, and gesture rarely features at all in undergraduate coursework). At the end of the lecture Barb said "this is one of my favourite topics. You're not allowed to do you're final assignment on this unless you see me first, because I don't want to read a bad assignment on this topic."

I still remember when I went to talk to her about it, and experienced the full intensity of the undivided attention of Barb Kelly for the first time. At some point, mildly bewildered by all this new reading, I wondered how we even knew that people paid attention to different types of gesture. "I always thought that would be a good topic for an honours thesis," Barb mentioned, before walking me back to something more manageable for a class paper.

[A brief time jump: The last time Barb and I caught up, it was getting to the end of the year and we were trying to avoid editing a paper. Somehow we got talking about the first time we met. Barb's main recollection was: "You were so weird." Barb thought it was very funny, but I also think that being interesting to Barb Kelly was a delightful compliment.]

A couple of weeks later, I went back and asked "could... I be the person who did that paper you mentioned?" At the very end of the final semester of my degree, I threw in my plans for a fourth year of Art History. I'm not usually one to change big plans so dramatically, but I decided that I wanted to do linguistics if I got to do the kind of linguistics Barb did. Of course, many years later when we were talking about it she laughed "I wouldn't have suggested it if I didn't want you to do it!"

That's how we got working on a small honours project to see what kinds of gestures and other movement people report that they pay attention to. It was an in-the-spirit replication of an old task Adam Kendon set up in the 1970s with a projector and silent film, but we used a computer and software that let people mark what they thought a gesture was (this became, many years later, Gawne & Kelly 2014). Just as I was finishing up data collection Barb disappeared. She had colorectal cancer and (although I didn't know this at the time) the prognosis was terrible.

At the end of that year I felt quite lost. I had finished the project, but didn't really know what to do next. I managed to get an office job for a while; it was fun to have a steady income after years of student life, but I got bored pretty quickly. I had planned a long nonsense holiday in Europe to distract myself. Barb had returned to work and I emailed her about catching up for coffee. I even fact-checked this in my email archive, and apparently I asked to "pick [her] brain about post-grad courses". It's easy to forget, with the benefit of hindsight, just how little idea I had of what I could do, what I should do or how I should go about making any of it happen. The only people I knew who had PhDs were the ones who taught me. I do remember we talked about where there was good work being done, the difference between Australian/UK and North American PhD programs and what kind of topics I might do. Barb then mentioned that she had a project she was working on and they were looking for someone do contribute by doing a PhD on evidential systems of a Tibeto-Burman language from Nepal. How was I meant to come up with a better idea than that? She promised me that her oncologist gave her at least the four years I needed to finish a PhD, because I am excessively practical and Barb had a very good sense of humour. I mailed my application to do a PhD at The University of Melbourne from a post office in Malta while on my holiday. I only mention this because it sounds very nonsense and like something form the 1930s.

[A disclaimer here: I usually strongly discourage students from staying at their undergaduate institution for graduate study. But I also point out I'm a giant hypocrite and staying at UoM to work with Barb was a good decision for me. Please take into account the survivor bias. Barb believed in me and that was more useful than anything another institution could have provided]

The week before I started my PhD with Barb, we caught up off campus with Sara, another PhD student who was about to start working with Barb. Barb used it as an opportunity to explain to us that even though a PhD would be big and demanding and important, it was also important that we didn't let it stop us living the rest of our lives, "if you need to, take a break to tour with a band or have a kid, that's important too" I was worried she was maybe expecting I had time to start a band as well as do a PhD? but it also left a lasting impression on me. She was so good at talking through the linguistic content of what I was doing, but also socialising me into the expectations of academia, while being realistic about life also happening. With Rachel Nordlinger as co-supervisor and Jill Wigglesworth as chair, they were an amazing, sometimes slightly terrifying, dream team who took their roles as supervisors, teachers and mentors seriously.

After my PhD, Barb joined me in the work with Andrea Berez-Kroker on data management. We also tinkered away on other things; including getting my honours thesis published. She helped me plan job applications, and even loaned me her office when I had video interviews. When I left Melbourne for post-docs we'd meet in different corners of the world. She was supportive and practical during many of my less optimistic moments while I was precariously employed. I enjoyed that my postdoc work allowed me to return to gesture, and spend more time doing lingcomm stuff, while still continuing to do work on evidentials and language documentation. Having Barb as a role-model mean that I normalised having a range of interests as a strength. I still spend a lost of time at a desk, but it's as far away as possible from the monotonous office job I left to come back to do a PhD.

In late 2020 Barb had a cardiac arrest. When La Trobe offered me an ongoing job in that same week, I apologised to her for texting her while she was in ICU. Obviously this is important because I'm the protagonist of my own story, even though it's a story about Barb, but I also wanted to mention it because a recurring theme in conversations over the last year has been "but, even when she technically *died* she still came back", which hasn't really helped things sink in.

I am pretty much the age Barb was when we first met. And, a couple of years into a tenured teaching/research role, I'm in a similar place professionally. And that's very much thanks to Barb. Without Barb I would not have done honours in linguistics, and I would not have come back to do a PhD. I wouldn't have been ready to face the grueling academic job market, and I wouldn't have normalised the importance of having more in life to define you than your job.

I miss talking with Barb all the time. There have been moments in the last year when I've been introducing someone to the bouba/kiki test, writing about my favourite gesture papers or talking through a problem a grad student is having with their writing, and I get to continue Barb's passion and enthusiasm. I am so grateful for the influence she has had on me as a linguist, teacher, supervisor and human, and I'm grateful I get to pass that on.

Co-authored papers This is a list of all the published papers for which we were co-authors. I'm proud that they represent a good range of our shared interests across gesture studies, language documentation, and data management. We have one more forthcoming paper, a handbook chapter on discourse in Tibeto-Burman languages, which is the other major area of shared interest that carried through my PhD work and beyond.

Gawne, Lauren, Chelsea Krajcik, Helene N. Andreassen, Andrea L. Berez-Kroeker & Barbara F. Kelly. 2019. Data Transparency and Citation in the Journal Gesture. Gesture 18(1): 83–109. https://doi.org/10.26181/5f57fddc85ebb [Superlinguo blog post]

Berez-Kroeker, A.L., L. Gawne, S. Kung, B.F. Kelly, T. Heston, G. Holton, P. Pulsifer, D. Beaver, S. Chelliah, S. Dubinsky, R. Meier, N. Thieberger, K. Rice & A. Woodbury. 2018. Reproducible Research in linguistics: A position statement on data citation and attribution in our field. Linguistics 56(1): 1-17. https://doi.org/10.1515/ling-2017-0032 [Superlinguo blog post]

Gawne, L., B.F. Kelly, A.L. Berez- Kroeker & T. Heston. 2017. Putting practice into words: The state of data and methods transparency in grammatical descriptions. Language Documentation & Conservation 11: 157-189. [OA PDF] [Superlinguo blog post]

Gawne, L. & B.F. Kelly. 2014. Revisiting ‘significant action and gesture categorisation. Australian Journal of Linguistics 34 (2): 216-233. https://doi.org/10.26181/5e4b684d8f1e9

Gawne, L., B.F. Kelly & A. Unger . 2010. Gesture categorisation and understanding speaker attention to gesture. In Y. Treis & R. De Busser (Eds), Selected papers from the 2009 conference of the Australian Linguistic Society. Melbourne: La Trobe University. [PDF]

[fuckyeahfightlock]

Cutmen (3k, E) posted 7 APR 2014

Sherlock (TV), 6,495 hits, 326 kudos

Summary: Sherlock and John first met when they were first-time opponents at an underground fight club. Several weeks later, they meet again, but neither of them can get on the night's schedule, so an unsanctioned bout in the car park will have to serve.

Grade: D-

Favourite line: “It’s a pretty face you’ve got,” John muttered, as they both got back on their feet. “Even prettier with a bruise in the shape of my knuckles on it.”

What I'd do differently: OMG, where do I start? Let me tell you, dear friend, how very, deeply, distressingly shocked I am to discover how poorly written this fic is! I must have been in a hazy soup of horny hormones when I wrote it because it is just a mess. Head-hopping; "he did this, he did that" boring af play-by-play, references to the inspiration story that assume the reader has already read it; John calls Sherlock "mate;" Sherlock calls John "mate" (TWICE!); they both say "ain't happening, mate," which I think is probably supposed to be one echoing the other with sarcasm but you'd never know it from the way I wrote it. Little to no sensory information other than visual. Few to no descriptions of appearance or setting. It's just a real mess!

If I were a reader clicking on this fic today, I would not even finish reading it. Hot premise (fistfight hate-sex in a public carpark? What's not to love?) but boring and confusing and neither of them is in character, or even IS a character. . .they are nothing like the characterisations they ultimately end up with in this series. They're just body parts punching and sucking each other.

Partly because this is a PWP, partly because I was not a very good writer yet, and partly because I did not know in these first few Bleed So Pretty stories that there would even be an overarching plot tying all of them together, this just reads like confusing nothing. I'm desperately disappointed. I think of the final story in this series as one of the best things I've written; this is nowhere NEAR it.

I might rewrite it, I'm so mad at it.

Notes: This has been translated into Russian, and there is also a podfic.

[guusagi]

Welcome to my Blog!

My name is Guusagi or Guu for friends, I'm 28 years old, my pronouns are She/Her, and I'm Bisexual!!

What kind of blog is this? Anything I'm currently into, or obsessing over! As of me posting this, it's currently My Chemical Romance and Alien Stage. I am mostly a reblog page, but I will occasionally post my thoughts, reblog art from my art blog or more recently I started recommending MCR-related fanfiction.

My current interests you'll see me reblog/post about:

Fandoms: -My Chemical Romance (photos of the band old and new, fanart, fanfiction/shipping: frerard; frikey) #mcr -Alien Stage (fanart and/or theories) #anstg -FFXIV (less so now but it's my fave mmo ever) -Vocaloid (Hatsune Miku mostly, or Gumi) -Indie Vtubers (as a twitch streamer myself and my fellow vtuber friends) -Mermaid Melody (fave childhood anime) Other: -Art (reblogging my own art or anything i find pretty) -Misc. memes (whatever makes me lol xd) -Yapping: #mythoughts for anything I like sayin'

Links:

Art Blog: @guusagi-art Twitch Instagram Bluesky Youtube Tiktok

A song that's stuck in my head:

More about me cus I'm a yappaholic:

tw: yapping; oversharing; self-diagnosed neurodivergent girl plz be kind to me.

Nice to meet you, and thank you for taking the time to read this! I'm currently working a full-time job, while streaming as an indie vtuber twice a week! I've been an artist for as long as I can remember, I found art and my love for it through anime and manga. I love indie games, like rpg maker games, or rhythm games like the Project Diva Series. I also LOVE FFXIV, I calmed down since finishing the latest expansion Dawntrail, but I'll still like and reblog art <3

I don't watch anime anymore, but my favorite was always Mermaid Melody!! Other than my previously mentioned obsessions: I love cute and girly things, the color pink is my personality, but I'm also a tomboy at heart! I love listening to music and watching youtube videos, also am an avid reader of manga/comics as well as fanfiction.

My music taste at the moment is pretty much: Radiohead, Muse, MCR, System of a Down, Vocaloid/Hatsune Miku. I love alt-rock/prog. rock; vocaloid pop music; jazz; genre-mixing like rock x jazz; math rock; getting into pop-punk/punk-rock recently.

FAQ/Yapping:

A bit of my history with tumblr: I started this tumblr way back when sometime between 2012-2014, I don't remember much from that time but I do know I was very into Adventure Time and Undertale especially, lots of reblogs of art and such! My main motivator for coming back to tumblr now after over a decade? MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE!! I got into them very recently, like in 2022! I won't yap about how much this band means to me now, but just know I'll be reblogging a lot of MCR content!

Am I neurodivergent? Great question! I actually don't know, I think I am but I am NOT diagnosed professionally. I've only self-diagnosed myself very recently, perhaps within the last couple of years. Take what I say here with a grain of salt, but I felt it important to get it off my chest.

This started off with me noticing small things about myself, then the list just kept getting longer and longer: my intense focus ONLY on my interests, my tendancy to info dump/over-explain things/repeat myself, my sensitivity to sounds/taste/touch, my hyperfixations that take over everything else (eating, going to the bathroom, abandoning adult responsibilities...), able but also not able to read social cues; stimming such as hair tugging/pulling, biting nails, pacing around when talking or thinking or excited/stressed, bursts of emotion after a long period of staying neutral, needing to shut down and be alone after socializing, being upset if a routine gets changes/if a routine stays the same for too long, unable to follow conversations or getting bored of them, unable to focus on what poeple are saying if in a loud room... I was also told that as a child I wouldn't smile much or ''look sad'' in photos, stand/walk on my tippy toes, and I was generally excluded/bullied in middle school for being a bit ''weird'' about anime. I also made quite a few friends on the spectrum and find myself relating to them quite a bit. The fact that I went on a such a rabbit hole of research, watching videos, taking online tests, listing things and finding out more about ADHD and Autism, is also a factor to why I suspect it for myself. I also found out that I am prone to masking, which is common in neurodivergent AFABs, but releasing said mask at home around family. I don't know which one I could be, or if any or both, but I just hope to not be dismissed or told I'm trying to get attention because I don't have the paperwork to prove myself. I guess idk if this counts but a lot of my friends have mentioned me being neurodivergent in general. Will I ever get officially diagnosed? It depends, I'm afraid of the costs and taking meds for it, in online tests I usually get borderline or a ''lower'' score so I'm afraid of being dismissed professionally as well, when I really can't afford it at the moment. Anyways sorry for the info dump LOL. All being said this could all just be anxiety symptoms as well.

Is this too personal for a blog intro? Eeeh who cares, this just shows my personality more than anything, and how I just can't stop talking about myself or my interests. You're free to go!!

[golbrocklovely]

so… i went to my 10 year hs reunion a couple weeks back.

i'm gonna talk about it so if you're curious, feel free to read it. if not, trust and believe you aren't missing much lol

(i've been meaning to post this for weeks now and just got around to finishing it lmao)

one of the main reason i didn't want to go was bc i was nervous about who might show up. in particular, i didn't want to see my ex best friend since i literally haven't seen her in four years and i would like to keep it that way.

but the one thing i had going for me was that back when we graduated, me and her (and another friend of ours) swore we would never go to this reunion bc fuck all the kids we went to school with.

and while i get that mentality and definitely felt that way back then, i can't be angry forever. the ppl that pissed me off in hs are just that, ppl from the past. they don't hurt me now, i don't care about them, and i shouldn't hold on to that type of anger forever. nothing that happened to me in hs was that bad if i'm honest, so being angry for life over ppl i never see seems a bit silly.

the shit i experienced, while hurtful and upsetting at the time, are just memories at this point. and holding myself back from seeing some of my old classmates bc of it didn't seem like the right course of action. plus there were some ppl i wanted to see that i knew were going.

so i went, and thankfully she didn't.

i got to see one of my old friends, J, and it was nice to catch up with him since i haven't seen him since graduation.

i think what was so odd about this whole reunion was just the fact that everyone basically looked the same, except slightly heavier. and i don't mean that in a mean way, i just mean, the teenagers i once knew no longer have teenage bodies and now look like adults. also some did in fact gain weight but there is obviously nothing wrong with that.

also the girls got prettier and the boys…. could have looked better in some instances sksks

the whole thing took place in a local bar restaurant spot, and we were inside for an hour or so and then all headed outside where they had a tent set up with a dj and some food and tables for us. there was also a couple firepits and heaters bc it was cold that night.

here's a couple random things i noted:

the dj looked like he wanted to be literally anywhere else than where he was which was honestly hysterical to me. at one point i caught him just straight up staring at the ceiling, bored. also, he wasn't really playing any songs from the 2010s which is annoying since we graduated in 2014. all i wanted to hear was party rock anthem by LMFAO. is that so much to ask?? lol

my freshman year counselor was there. which is crazy, but in a good way. he looked identical to the last time i saw him, and honestly it was nice to see him. he was the one person that actually cared about me after the shit i went thru in middle school (and not even in the same school district, mind you) so it was great seeing him and catching up for a hot second.

i was in fact the best dressed there and i am very happy about that. is it petty to think this way? of course. but i do not care a win is a win.

none of the popular guys showed up, just the girls. which in a way is good bc i hated most of them and would have rather not seen two of them in particular, so i was happy they didn't show.

now, onto some interesting things that happened.

so there was this one guy that was there that the ppl i was hanging out with - we couldn't tell if he was a husband/bf of one of the girls or if he was one of our classmates that just looked totally different.

he was, in fact, a classmate of ours. and holy shit did he get hot.

funny enough, he was a guy that was in my homeroom for all four years of hs. i want to say i had a couple classes with him too, but i only really remember one. later on in the night, i got to talk to him, and i was genuinely surprised by how different he looked. the thing is, in hs, he wasn't ugly by any means, but he definitely wasn't on my radar. granted, i was in love with the same guy for all four years and only had a few other crushes, so i wasn't exactly looking at him either. but when i realized who he was, S, i was taken aback truly.

facial hair and being muscular does in fact make you look different lol

and what made this all the more crazy, was that when he started talking to me, he outright said i was one of the few ppl he actually wanted to see and that he was excited to see me. that i was one of the few he actually liked during hs too. all of that was surprising to me strictly bc i don't even really remember talking to him all that much (but it was a long time ago so lol). i won't get into the specifics of our conversation, other than the fact that we both agreed there was one guy from the popular group that we both wanted to fight if we saw him…….. but i think at a couple points he was flirting with me????? or maybe he was being really friendly, i have no clue. i am not good at telling when a guy is flirting or just being nice. so i do my best to not assume, but… idk. i kind of think he was.

he also hugged me a couple times, so there's that too.

then much later in the night, after S had left, this other guy started talking to me, K. i'll be honest, i'm not entirely sure what i used to think of him. i think he was part of the popular group since he played sports (hockey) but i don't think i had too many interactions with him in hs. we kept running into each other and chit chatting for a second before going back to our respective groups. he complimented me on my leather jacket, said he was gonna wear one too but wore something else instead. and when it got later, i think he too was flirting with me bc he kept getting really close and talking to me. but again, not sure. i cannot read signs like that for the life of me.

good news, also, for anyone interested - there was only one guy that was a tr*mp supporter. and he didn't talk to me. probably for good reason lmao

the one main thing i wanted to note, that happened quite a few times, was the amount of ppl that were genuinely happy to see me. and not just in a friendly way, but the ppl that full on said "angelica! i'm so glad you came to this! i was hoping to see you." and mind you, i expected that from ppl i was friends with in hs, or at one point was close with. but to hear from ppl like S or just random others... it was odd but in a nice way.

bc i think for the longest time, one of my biggest insecurities has always been that i feel like i'm forgettable. that no one remembers me or cares to. that i'm never someone seeks out or wants to see again. i'm invisible, and i'm used to it. but to have ppl i haven't spoken to in a decade be happy to see me, to have missed me... it was nice knowing that maybe all this time i've been wrong about how ppl perceived me.

something to also add is that when i came home and i told my mom this, she said something interesting. she said something to the effect of "you were always so preoccupied with N (my ex best friend), that i don't think you realized how many others probably wanted to be your friend too. if you hadn't been so wrapped up in her, i think you would have had more friends." and in a way, i think she's telling the truth.

i don't regret the friendship i had. but i do wonder what would have happened if i had been closer to someone else. or if i had been just a bit more extroverted in hs. bc as nice as it is to blame my ex best friend on me not having a lot of friends (even tho i kind of did), reality is i didn't even like myself until junior year (and even then no i didn't) and by then, i had burned bridges and swore off most of the popular kids bc of a situation that had occurred the two previous years.

but it's something to think about. the what ifs of it all.

also, i really should have gotten S's number lol

[dirtydancingdean]

✨ fic recs ✨

ok so back in like 2014 i watched supernatural for a solid 3 years until they killed kevin and charlie and i got bored of the bmol storyline. now im here again let’s not talk about it. BUT during this time i accumulated a Lot of fic and in the past two months i’ve gone through all 213 of my bookmarks and gone through like every rec list made after s12 in order to read fic set during every specific season while i rewatch the show. because im insane <3 im on s8 rn and wanted to share my list of favourites from each season so far as well as my favourite aus ! they’re all generally nsfw so minors be careful, and also check the warnings ! and i will update this when i finish s15 <3

aus

asunder by rageprufrock (23.8k, e, background samruby)

obviously the most perfect thing to ever exist. 

and this, your living kiss by opal_bullets (56k, m, background saileen)

poet dean fic need i say more. part dean studies if dean studies was elaborated on lovingly in detail for 56k words, part gorgeous and beautiful poetry, part incredibly clever commentary on meta and fan allusions, and part stunning exploration of the relationships in the show turned on their heads.  

one white little lie by komodobits (11k, gen)

this is SOOO cute. cas is so embarrassing i was covering my face the entire time i was reading it. if u want to be cheered up. read this. 

broadway musical by griftings (12k, m)

this is genuinely sooo funny. big “castiel did you fuck the michael sword” energy and jimmy novak as that “am not against gays” tweet, plus jo <3

c-s-t-l by komodobits (90k, m)

i haven't read this in a while but from what i remember it was incredible and also had cassie <3 

rest is under the cut because it got long fhjfkfklf

pre-series/season 1-3*

a turn of the earth by microcomets (time travel, 95k, standford era, m)

i think everyone’s read this at this point but if u haven't. what are u doing. go read it. it’s absolutely everything i reread it in the week before the finale without remembering half of the stuff it talked about and i was a WRECK. if u think about standford era dean every day read this. cas punches john winchester in the FACE. 

geography by aeli_kindara (3k, teen and up, warnings for discussion of rape/non-con and prostitution)

not dean/cas but a really wonderful and needed conversation with sam and dean during 2x02.

season 4

so says the sword by komodobits (85k, e)

yeah. i dont need to say anything.  

consequences of falling by fayjay (37k, e, background samruby, warnings for rape/non-con)

THISSSS FIC. pls it’s perfect literally everything i wanted when i was watching s4 and obsessed with love as an act of worship + ruby and cas parallels. ruby and cas get drunk together! ruby says this: “dean and castiel sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes the fall from grace, then comes battling the hosts of hell and wishing that you’d managed to get your skinny ass laid before the freaking apocalypse”! what more could u want!

named by rc_machlan (94k, m)

literally the best fic in the world i am not going to say Anything if you love dean and angels and the mythology of s4-s5 that was promptly dropped, you absolutely have to read this.

four people ruby seduced & one she actually fell for (or: ruby's epic love affair with humanity in general and sam in specific) by tuesday (3.7k, e, samruby, ruby/jo)

this is more background deancas than anything else and does contain brief, not romantic in any way dean/ruby and dean/cas, but like. if u love ruby (which i do) u have to read this.

season 5

final fantasy by orange_crushed (1.9k, m)

endverse.....this made me want to die

the (mostly accidental) courtship of dean winchester by tuesday (11k, m)

a classic for a reason. really cute and soft and the handprint and cas beating dean up in 5x18 are angelic marriage rites. what more could you ask for.

the girlfriend experience by rageprufrock (15k, explicit)

of Course i mean of COURSE. thee s5 deancas fic.

strike me down and i’ll come back more powerful than you can possibly imagine by trinityofone (10k, gen)

post 5x22 dean and cas rescue sam from hell with the help of some special guests. PERFECT. the only valid good omens crossover.

season 6**

something stupid by zatnikatel (20k, e)

this broke my heart and put it back together. one of my favourite cas characterizations, takes place over s5-s6 and it’s just stunning. 

a crash course in someone else’s history by annie d (11k, teen and up)

s4 cas ends up in the body of cas in 6x20. fucking life-ruining.

season 7

make known by domesticadventures (16k, teen and up)

this is a really heartbreaking look at dean’s headspace near the end of s6 and throughout s7, and it’s really wonderful with a hopeful ending.

redemption road by a whole bunch of people (652k, virtual season, explicit)

oh boy. ok. know ur herstory ! this was written from 2011 to 2012 and it is thee s7 fic, a virtual season written by 17 fans all together. it’s very very long and it suffers sometimes from having being written a decade ago, but im making my way through it right now and it still fucking holds up. i really do recommend reading at least some of it, you can stop around halfway through and you should be fine.

season 8***

rinse, repeat by ias (3k, teen and up)

exploration of cas when naomi forces him to kill copies of dean and then his perspective in goodbye stranger.

my keeper by whelvenwings (5k, gen)

another goodbye stranger fic, this time with bonus artist cas!

though the course may change by imogenbynight (51k, e)

au after 8x23. i love this fic so much. dean accidentally ends up making himself have to go undercover with cas and pretend to be fake engaged. also, charlie and kevin. do i need to say more.

apres by imogenbynight (24k, e)

au after 8x23 where dean goes to find cas after the angels fall in paris 🥺

*i have found exactly one bela fic that i loved, and zero henriksen fics that i loved, so IF u have recs for those. i would appreciate that.

**mostly the s6 fics i read were uh...vampire dean fics...

***have found one (1) good dean/aaron fic but im still searching for the perfect purgatory crew fics 

[cjsinkythoughts]

FATWS One Shot #4 - Best Girls, Good Guys, Hand Art, Joy Rides

Word Count: 1922

Warnings: Cursing, Implied PTSD, Mention of IED, Motorcycle Ride Without Helmets

Setting/Characters: Captain America: The Winter Soldier in 2014; Reader, Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson, Sam’s therapy group, Lady at the Front Desk, Mentions of Peggy Carter and Riley

A/N: Here’s number 4! Like I said in the previous One Shot, I’m hoping to get TWS One Shots done today and tomorrow. Um, I don’t have a lot to say this time since I unloaded pretty much everything in the last One Shot. So, I guess that’s all!

This isn’t beta’d, as usual, so please excuse any mistakes! Be kind to yourselves and others! Enjoy this part, thank you for reading, and stay tuned!

FATWS Masterlist

cjsinkythoughts Masterlist

(PICTURE DOESN’T REPRESENT READER, JUST WHAT THE ART STEVE DREW LOOKS LIKE!)

“How is she?”

Steve nodded, taking the helmet he insisted on keeping for you in the compartment under his seat out and handing it over. What a hypocrite. “She’s fine. I guess. She…forgot. We were in the middle of a conversation and she…forgot I was alive.”

You gave his shoulder a squeeze. “Alzheimer’s is a scary thing. I’m sorry. It must be hard seeing your best girl go through that.” He froze, his wide eyes scanning you. You ignored his gaze, giving him the helmet back. You really hoped it didn’t come out as sad and spiteful as you meant it. You didn’t want to despise her, you really didn’t. You couldn’t. You had too much respect for her. She did help build the organization you worked for. You just hated the position you found yourself in. “We’re just going to the VA. It’s not too far. I’ll be fine.”

“No, honey. I don’t want you getting hurt-”

“I won’t, Steve.” You pushed back. “I’ve done it before in a lot more dangerous places than the streets of DC. Plus, I trust you. You wouldn’t let me get hurt, would you?”

His lips turned up slightly, his head shaking just enough. “No. No, I wouldn’t. Hop on, then.” He jerked his head to his bike, putting the helmet away before sitting down with you following his lead. You pressed against him, an arm around his waist, thighs squeezing his hips lightly. “Ready?”

“Mhmm.” You hummed, setting your chin on his shoulder.

The bike roared to life underneath you before you took off. You were never worried when Steve drove. Sometimes he liked going fast when you two go for a drive through backroads of Virginia for a weekend, camping underneath the stars. But when you were in DC, he cruised, fast enough that you could get pulled over for doing ten over, but slow enough that you didn’t have to shout over the rush of the wind combing through your hair.

He usually talked to you while driving, but he was quiet this time. You turned your head to study him. His jaw ticked ever so often, his eyebrows furrowed and those pink lips turned down.

You didn’t want to distract him, but you couldn’t help but lift your free hand, tracing his jaw from his chin to his ear before pressing soft circles into the hinge of his jaw with your thumb. “Are you okay? Did I upset you?”

“No. No, you’re perfect, honey.” He reassured quickly, moving around a car, side eyeing you for just a second. “I’ve just…there’s a lot on my mind. A lot I need to figure out.”

You nodded. “If you ever need me. I’m here.”

He grinned, taking your hand in one of his to press a kiss to the knuckles, eyes not leaving the road. “I know.”

“Tell me more about this Sam Wilson guy.”

Steve chuckled before telling you about his run the day prior and how he lapped Wilson a few times and their conversation afterwards. He was just finishing up when he parked in the parking garage of the VA, “and then Natasha drove up saying she was looking for a fossil she was supposed to pick up.”

“A fossil.” You snorted. “I’m gonna have to use that.”

He gave you a playful glare as you swung your leg around and stood up. Catching your jaw between his fingers, he chuckled when he squished your cheeks together. “Call me a fossil, honey, and I’ll tell Fury the only way I’m doing missions is if you don’t.”

You gasped, shaking your head. “You ‘ouldn’!” You slurred out, trying to talk with your lips pursed.

He gave a little giggle, gently making your head move up and down in a nod. “Oh yes I would.” He pecked your nose, letting go of your cheeks. “C’mon, dame.” You blinked after him as he started towards the elevators with long strides.

“You’re an ass, you know that?”

He smirked at you over his shoulder as you jogged to catch up, holding his hand out behind him. “C’mon. You know I’d never do that to ya.”

Narrowing your eyes, you snatched his hand and huffed. “Well…yeah. But still.”

Another chuckle left his lips, pulling you closer to his side as you pressed the button for the elevator, leaving a kiss on your head. You fell into comfortable silence after that, Steve’s thumb tracing patterns on your hand while you waited for the elevator to ding.

When it finally did, Steve had a pen pulled out and, as you entered the elevator, he pulled your hand up closer to his face, lifting the writing utensil to the back of your palm.

You didn’t say anything, merely looking around the elevator after pushing the level you were going to. It was something you found that calmed Steve; drawing. So whenever he was bored or anxious, you let him draw on your hand. He used to ask, but he stopped after you told him you’d never say no.

The elevator dinged and the doors open, causing Steve to stop inking up your skin and drop your still linked hands down to your sides, shoving his pen in his pocket. You looked down at the partial flower and leaves wrapping around your wrist, smiling affectionately. He really was a good artist.

The lady at the front desk told you where to go when you asked for Sam Wilson, which Steve did rather eagerly, making you laugh. He had told you about Sam’s want to impress her when he came in. Apparently he was with a group, but she said it was okay for you to go in as long as you didn’t disrupt anything. Steve thanked her, before following her directions down the hall and around the corner.

You heard them before you saw them. A woman was talking, telling a story of how she got pulled over the previous week. Steve leaned against a column to the side of the room, out of the way, putting his hands in his pockets. You let his hand go to allow him to do so, linking your arm with his and holding his wrist with your free hand.

“I swerved…to miss a plastic bag. I thought it was an IED.”

You watched Steve’s reactions through the rest of the session. It wasn’t much longer - maybe ten minutes - before it ended. You had tried to convince him to go to one of these when he first got out of the ice, but he refused.

“I’ve already got you, honey. That’s all I need.”

And, yes, he did have you; your assignment was literally helping him with that stuff. But you still thought he’d benefit from it. Especially now since you had started going back on your own assignments. Maybe he’d start going to Wilson’s.

After the meeting, you and Steve walked up to the veteran who had just finished his farewells and started cleaning up the table at the front with brochures and things. “Look who it is. The running man. And who’s this pretty lady?”

You smiled, sticking out your hand, your name leaving your lips in an introduction. “Sam Wilson.” He shook your hand with a grin of his own. “Nice to meet you, cher.”

“You too, Sam.”

“We caught the last few minutes.” Steve stated, leaning on the wall again, keeping his arm linked with yours. “It’s pretty intense.”

You listened sadly as Sam told you two about his wingman, Riley, but you didn’t pity him. You knew what it was like to lose people and you hated the pity you received from others. You were glad to see he wasn’t beating himself up over it, even allowing himself to smile as the conversation shifted to his retirement. Steve was right; he did seem like a good guy. 

“Are you thinking about getting out?”

You glanced up at Steve as he answered “no.” You saw the hesitation in his eyes that flickered to you, before he met Sam’s again. “I don’t know.” Hearing Steve admit that he didn’t know what he wanted made your heartache. You wanted him to be happy, and the fact that he didn’t know what made him happy caused you to grip his arm tighter.

You, Sam, and Steve talked a bit longer, getting to know each other a little better. You even did the unthinkable and told him you worked for SHIELD when he asked how you two knew each other. Steve raised an amused eyebrow as your eyes widened, your hand slapping over your mouth.

“Holy shit. I can’t believe I just told you that. You can’t tell anyone.”

Sam laughed, shaking his head. “Don’t worry. My lips are sealed.”

You finally said bye when Sam mentioned needing to get back to work. Walking back towards the elevators, Steve chuckled and nudged you. “You warmed up to him quickly.”

“Ha ha.” You rolled your eyes, your face landing in your hands. “Oh my God. I’ve never told anyone that. Ever.”

“I told you. He’s a good person. Easy to talk to.”

“Yeah…speaking of,” you tilted your head up to him as you stepped into the elevator, the doors closing behind you. “Do you want to get out?”

His Adam’s apple bobbed when he swallowed thickly. “That’s not what I said. I just…I don’t really know…what to do.”

You pouted a little, tilting your head. “What would you’ve done in the 40’s? After the war?”

“I dunno.” He shuffled on his feet. “Be a lab rat.”

“Steven-”

“Forget it. Forget I said anything.” Your frown deepened, your arms crossing over your chest. “Please don’t.” He said softly, hands coming up to cup your cheeks, one thumb smoothing out your forehead while the other ran over your pouty lips. “Don’t be upset.”

You sighed, shaking your head. “I’m not. I, just…worry.”

He placed his lips to your forehead, hands slipping to your waist to pull you closer. “Well don’t.”

Your hands mimicked his previous position, holding his face, thumb brushing under his eyes. Your eyes caught sight of the barely started design on your hand, and your lips pursed thoughtfully. 

“What?”

“Drawing makes you happy.” He blinked at your words, confusion in those ocean eyes of his. “You said you don’t know what makes you happy. Drawing does. And you’re really good at it. You could be an artist or something. Like a tattoo artist. I’d go to you. I mean, look at this!” You showed him your hand. “It’s not even halfway done and you did it with a crappy dollar store pen”

He gave you a small smile. “I appreciate that, honey, but I don’t think I could do that day in and day out.”

“Even with new customers coming in every day, asking for different designs in different places?”

Giving a chuckle, he leaned into your palm, kissing it. “You really want me to think about this don’t you?”

You scoffed. “Duh!”

He shook his head, ducking down to press his lips to your cheek, before laying his forehead on your shoulder. “I’m okay right now.”

“Are you?”

“Mhmm.” He hummed, arms wrapping around you. “Because I have you. And you make me happy, honey.”

You hugged him back, face pressing into his neck. You were glad you made him happy. And as long as you made him happy, you’d keep this relationship the way it was. Even if that meant you’d never be his best girl. “You make me happy too, bubs.”

**************

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All Works Taglist (Open):

@happygoreading​ @bibliophilewednesday​

[personinthepalace]

how did you get into your favourite series? (odd squad, dw, selfie etc)

Odd Squad (copied from my bio in the discord server haha): I was browsing around the PBS Kids website around Thanksgiving 2014 (before OS officially aired). I saw that PBS Kids was going to release a new show called Odd Squad and went on a rant about how PBS Kids was going downhill with these new shows. Then I watched the first two episodes that were already on the website. I discovered that the premise was actually pretty good and the acting was great. I started watching new episodes about every week. Became officially obsessed (i.e. stalking the OS Wikia and Odd News, reading fanfic and theories, etc) after Trials and Tubulations

Doctor Who: Back in high school, DW was one of the shows that I refused to watch bc everyone I knew was obsessed with it. Fastforward to a few years later before I got a tumblr account, I was following some people’s blogs for Captain canary (one of my ships), and they were also posting about tenrose. I started to read some fics (aka a lot of fics) and started watching some of S2 and got bored. Around that time, I also saw blogs posting about Whouffaldi and was curious. I found a blog that had some episode recs and started with Mummy on the Orient Express. Twelve’s run is the only one I’ve completely finished (besides Nine’s which I caught up on later)

Selfie: I’ve seen some gifs of the show before but about a month ago, I saw a gifset and was like “yes I want to watch this now” and proceeded to binge watch all 13 episodes that night haha, and I love it so much!! It shouldn’t have been cancelled *cries*

And while I’m still here are some other shows:

Little Lunch is one of my favorite shows that I discovered at the dentist. I was intrigued by the episode that I saw and tried my best to find it (it’s an Australian show). A few years later, Youtube recommended The InBESTigators to me, which was created by the same people who made Little Lunch (these shows are why I really wanted a mockumentary mmni show hahaha)

Elementary and Leverage - I have @incendiaglacies to thank for telling me to watch them :) (I am still confused how I managed to finished so many seasons in like 2 months but it happened somehow hahaha)

Thanks for the ask!

[wiypt-writes]

Stark Spangled Banner

One Shot: We’re Going For A Ride, Doll...

Summary: Steve’s been away for a few weeks running a mission, and whilst he’s been away Katie hasn’t exactly had a relaxing time. What better way to relieve a tension than a little night time bike ride… Warning: Language! Smut (NSFW, 18)

Pairings: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark.

A/N: Biker Steve smut…yeah..it’s a kink and this was written purely for my own self-gratification reasons.

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Stark Spangled Banner Masterlist // Main Masterlist

March 2014

Katie let the scorching hot water cascade down her body, loosening her muscles and washing away the last of the tension from her meeting earlier that day. It had been frustrating, middle aged men in trousers trying to prove who had the longest dicks as per usual until her temper had snapped and she’d called time on the finance review, and told them to come back in a few days when they had finished trying to see who could piss up the walls the highest.

Pepper had smirked when she had stormed out of the meeting and declared she was flying back to DC and then her smirk had turned to a frown when she’d seen the look on Katie’s face, instead asking the youngest Stark if she was okay. Truth was she was far from it. She was exhausted having not slept properly for the best part of two weeks now. And the reason for the lack of sleep was that for the first time since she’d started dating Steve, they’d been snapped out on a date and the offending photos splashed all over the internet.

Her flight in from DC had been smooth and, feeling rather refreshed actually all things considered, Katie clutched her coffee as she walked down the corridor, her Louboutins clicking on the tiles as she pressed her palm to the door and strode into the publishing office. She glanced around, nodding to a few people as she made her way to her office, frowning as she felt eyes following her. She turned her head over her shoulder and saw one of the junior admin assistants hastily avert their gaze. She paused for a moment before she shook her head, walking into her office and dropping her purse on her desk. No sooner had she done that, than JARVIS spoke.

“Miss Stark.” “Morning J.” “Mr Stark has asked you pop up to see him.” “Tell him to come here. I’m busy.”

“He said you would say that. He told me to tell you it’s important and he doesn’t want people listening in. He’s waiting in his office.” With a groan she grabbed her coffee and walked back the way she had come, ignoring the glances that were coming her way before heading to the elevator and selecting the floor that housed Tony’s office.

“What do you want?” She demanded as she walked into his office, to see Tony and Happy both looking at something on the screen.

“Good morning to you too, Sunshine!” Tony quipped and Katie let out an angry noise.

“Tony, I’ve got meetings all day. I have a potential author coming in at twelve so…” Tony waved his hand and the screen he was looking at projected the image onto the holodisplay in front of her and her eyes widened. It was a photo of her and Steve sat in her car in the middle of a deep kiss. Steve’s hand was cupping her cheek as hers was tangled in his hair, and she knew exactly when it had been taken, the previous night when they’d been out on a date. Steve had been called right in the middle of their evening for an urgent mission so their meal had been cut short and she’d dropped him home and he was kissing her goodbye.

“Shit.” She groaned, and looked at Tony who grinned and shrugged.

“Yeah, you got papped.” He explained before he paused. “Actually papped isn’t the right word seeing as it wasn’t a professional photographer, they know now to not even bother. This was some member of the public. First we saw was when our daily Social Media monitoring reports picked it up.”

“Are there anymore?”

“A few.” He said, flicking through the photos which basically were snapped in succession. There was one of them breaking from the kiss, Steve pressing his head to hers, then pecking her lips again, before climbing out of the car.

“Can we get rid of them?”

“Oh yeah.” Tony waved a hand. “We already deployed the algorithm, usual stuff…and I tracked down the person who took the original shot and offered him an obscene amount of money to hand over the rights. At first he wasn’t going to do it, but then I told him it was that or I fired a virus straight down the line to blow up his phone.” Katie rolled her eyes “And he believed you could actually do that?” Happy shrugged “Well, we can in a way. Maybe not the blowing up bit but…” “Thing is we don’t know how far this has gone.” Tony shrugged “We can keep the photo off the net but, well, it was already trending when we saw it.” “Under what?”

Tony grinned and waved his hand, revealing the hashtag.

“Stark Spangled Man?” Katie groaned “Jesus Christ.”

“Yeah, I was tempted to leave it just for that tag.” Tony mused and Katie rubbed at her temple.

“If the guys at SHIELD have seen this…”

“Already had the Goth Pirate on the phone.” Tony shrugged “Told him I’d deal with it. It’s not like the public didn’t know you two are…you know.”

“Has Steve seen it?”

“How the fuck should I know?” Tony looked at her “He’s your boyfriend. You ask him.”

“I can’t, he’s on a mission and it’s radio silence.” She bit her lip and ran her hand through her hair. “I can’t see him being particularly pleased about it.” “Maybe he shouldn’t have been eating your face in the front of your car then.” Tony shrugged.

“Oh piss off.” Katie snapped at her brother, who simply raised his eyebrow, smirking slightly.

“Kiddo, we can stop the photos.” Happy looked at her, “But the comments and tweets, it’s a huge job and…” “Yeah I know just…” She shrugged “Oh whatever, they’ll get bored eventually. Just make sure no fucking trashy tabloids get hold of it.” Thankfully they hadn’t. But the comments on social media had continued for a week. Most of them were actually pretty nice, saying it was cute and they made a nice couple. Some of them not so nice, commenting on Katie’s appearance and the like, not that she gave a fuck. She’d dealt with comments like that before, knowing full well it came from a place of jealousy most of the time, what she was struggling with, however, was the fact she hadn’t managed to speak to Steve about it at all.

How he was going to react was worrying her a little. A general interest in their relationship was a risk they knew they were running, having gone public in December at the New Years’ Eve gala, but up until that point they had been lucky. They were also careful in that when they were out, they kept to quiet places as much as possible and, as Steve wasn’t huge on public displays of affection in general (holding hands and the odd quick kiss being as far as he went), there wasn’t really anything of interest to pap. Until that night. And it wasn’t just the social media side of things. The gossip at the tower had also pissed her off. It was like some huge secret had been revealed which wasn’t the case. The fact they were dating was public knowledge, but it was more the fact that people had seen the photo in the way they had and she felt like it was undermining her authority at work, which is what had contributed to her lack of sleep and her outburst earlier that day.

With a heavy sigh, she turned around and let her face soak in the stream one last time, then she turned off the water, stepped out and grabbed a towel before she headed back into her room.

Steve had been gone for three weeks now, on an undercover mission. Something to do with some guy planning to flood the US with dirty drugs. She didn’t know much, no longer being at SHIELD she wasn’t party to the secrets and, despite the fact Fury was actually pretty good at keeping her as updated as he could, she always felt stressed and anxious when he was away, not knowing if he was okay. It had been easier when she had been an Agent herself, something which made her sometimes question her decision to quit.

Especially on days like today, with meetings like that one.

Having dried off, she pulled on a pair of leggings before tossing one of Steve’s hoodies on which still vaguely smelt of him and quickly blasted her hair with the hair-drier, letting the waves naturally set before she wandered into the living room. It was nearing dinner time, and she couldn’t be bothered to cook, intending instead to indulge herself in a bottle of wine and a pizza from Seconds.

The pizza arrived when she was halfway through the bottle of wine and by the time she’d had her fill, she’d finished said bottle. She was just on her way to grab another when her phone rang, the familiar sounds of “Only One In Colour” hitting her ears, which was the tone she attributed to just one person.

She hastily ran back to the living and grabbed her phone which was on the sofa cushion, smiling as she saw the photo of her and Steve filling the screen.

“Hey!” she said a little breathlessly and she heard a chuckle on the other side.

“Am I glad to hear your voice” Her soldier spoke and she felt herself tearing up.

“Me too.” She sighed, taking a deep breath “I take it the mission is done?”

“Yeah, took a little longer than we thought. I’m sorry I haven’t been able to call,Doll.”

“It’s okay” She smiled, “When are you home?”

“Yeah, about that.” He said softly, and she took a deep breath, bracing herself for bad news before he spoke again, a playful quality to his soothing voice. “Look out the window, Baby girl.”

Katie felt a huge grin cross her face as that could only mean one thing. In a flash she yanked open the doors that led to her balcony and ran out, peering over the edge. And there he was, in all his glory, waving up at her from where he sat on his bike.

“What you down there for?” She teased as she looked down.

“We’re going for a ride, Doll.” He replied simply and she grinned.

“I’ll be right down.”

“Three minutes. Captains Orders.” He shot back and she turned and headed back into her penthouse.

“I love it when you get all masterful”

“I know.” He gave a little laugh. “Now hurry up.”

She cut the call and headed quickly into her bedroom, pulling off the hoody and exchanging it instead for a long cashmere sweater that finished mid-thigh. It had been a gift from Steve not long before he had left and she knew he loved it on her. It was a deep green colour- “It matches your eyes, Doll”- The fabric was soft, and the turtle neck line scooped slightly so that you could see a flash of her collar bone at either side of her neck. She cinched the waist in with a tan belt and shoved her feet into a pair of matching ankle boots. Grabbing her biker jacket and her helmet, she grabbed her keys and ran to the elevator.  

She emerged onto the street and stopped as Steve turned to face her. She gave herself a second to take him in, scanning his dark jeans, white t-shirt and open jacket all set off with a distressed leather belt and matching boots, before she gave a squeal and ran towards him. Steve stood up off his bike and strode towards her, meeting her halfway as she threw herself into his arms.

“Hey.” He whispered softly, his face pressing into her hair as her legs circled his waist. “God I missed you.” “Missed you too.” She mumbled, before she pulled back and pressed a kiss to his lips. “Like, really missed you.”

And then she suddenly became conscious they were in the street. She threw a glance around, looking for any sly public amateur photographers and Steve frowned, spotting her change in demeanour.

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” She looked at him as he set her on her feet, his hands on her waist. “Let’s get out of here.”

He didn’t press her further, simply led her back to the bike and she swung her legs over the back, clipping the straps of her helmet into place. He settled in front of her and she laced her arms around his waist, under his jacket as he fired up the bike with a roar. Steve took another glance over his shoulder, her eyes visible through the visor of her helmet and they were shining with excitement. Flashing her a smile he turned round and set the bike off, heading up the street.

He drove the familiar route to Rock Creek and after half an hour or so pulled the bike to a halt in the spot he always parked at, a hidden little clearing just off the main parking lot. It was deserted due to the hour, which suited him fine. Cutting the engine he felt Katie shift behind him and he set the stand on the bike before he turned to see his girl taking her helmet off. She fluffed her hair out slightly and then grinned at him as he patted the space between his legs. She jumped off the bike, hung her helmet over the handlebars before she climbed back up, this time facing Steve, her back to the handlebars of the bike.

The little wooded area was dark, bar the moon shining through the lattice of leaves above them and Katie took a deep breath, inhaling the rich scent of pine needles, fresh air and the slight smell of the early spring flowers. The babbling of the brook was loud in the quiet of night providing them with a little background noise as Steve reached out, his hands cupping her face as he drew her to him. Katie closed her eyes, allowing him to take the lead as his tongue slid across her bottom lip and she opened her mouth slightly, his movements smooth and graceful as he kissed her passionately before he pulled away, her bottom lip caught between both of his. He released it gently, pressing his forehead to hers, their noses bumping together slightly.

“What’s on your mind?” He asked her quietly. Katie sighed, and looked down at his long legs which were stretched towards her. Leaning her own legs forward, she hooked her calves around his, the denim of his jeans rustling as it bushed against her leggings. Her hands dropped to his knees and she ran them up the outside of his thighs, her fingers skating the strong muscles as they stretched the fabric of his dark blue Levi’s slightly. “Katie?” he asked again and she took a deep breath before she reached for her phone in the pocket of her jacket.

“Someone papped us, well I say papped, it was more some nosey bastard member of the public…” she sighed, scrolling through to the photo. She handed it to him and he took it from her, fingers brushing hers gently. He glanced down at it and after a second he screwed up his face and let out a breath from his nose.

“Crap.” He muttered before he handed her phone back and looked at her, rolling his eyes.

“Tony managed to get rid of it from the net but…” She shrugged “It’s been a pain in the ass, Steve. All the fucking mumbled little comments in the office and…” She rubbed her neck slightly “Not being able to warn you either.”

“Warn me?” He cocked his head to one side. “About what?”

“The fact you were all over the internet eating my face.” She shrugged and he gave a snort of laughter “Didn’t want you walking back into base and being blindsided. I know you’re not big into PDAs and I figured if the guys from STRIKE got hold of it, hell, if Nat got hold of it…”

“Doll, I couldn’t care less.”

Katie looked at him, blinking “You don’t?”

“No, well, I mean it’s not great but, well, I’m more pissed that you got a hard time in the office about it.”

“Nothing I can’t handle.” She shrugged, before she grinned. “If they carry on I can just fire them all.” Steve chuckled, his hands dropping to hers as he laced their fingers together. “Bet Tony had a field day.” “Yeah, he thought it was pretty funny, especially the hashtag it was all trending under.” “Which was?”

“Stark Spangled Man.” She raised an eyebrow. Steve paused for a second before he tipped his head back, his broad chest and shoulders shaking with the force of his laughter before he shook his head and peeked up at her slightly. “Ten outta Ten for imagination, huh?”

“Well, they’re not wrong.” He said simply, his hands leaving hers and they slid under her ass as he pulled her forward so she was straddling his lap. “I am completely and utterly Stark Spangled…”

“I never wanna hear you say that ever again.” Katie narrowed her eyes as her hands slid up his arms coming to rest on the firm planes of his chest just below his collar bone.

“No?” He asked gently, his hands splaying on her back gently underneath her jacket.

“Not unless you want me to start singing an amended version of your chorus song.” She grinned.

“Shut up.” “Make me.” She retorted, a childish tone to her voice and arched an eyebrow as he looked up at her.

“Brat.” He mumbled, his hand sliding up to her neck, pulling her face to his. The kiss was fierce, his lips warm on hers, the familiar tingle spreading up her spine making her shiver slightly and a soft moan escaped her mouth to his and she felt his lips curl into a smirk against hers before they moved gently from her mouth to her jaw line. He peppered soft, warm and wet pecks down her neck before he gently moved her sweater to the side a little more, exposing more of her shoulder.

The feel of his mouth on her skin was electric, and Katie let her head fall back, eyes closing as Steve’s hands splayed on her back, holding her in position as he kissed every inch of her skin he could find. Her breath caught in her throat and she swallowed, thickly as he paused his fingers digging into her back.

“You’re not wearing a bra.” He mumbled.

“Not wearing any panties either.” She said softly and he pulled back to look at her, a groan escaping his mouth.

“You’re killing me, Doll.” “Well I was in my comfy stuff and you gave me three minutes to get ready.” She shrugged “Captain’s orders, remember?”

“Because you always do exactly what I tell you.” He said sarcastically, looking at her with those baby blues which were now a dark midnight shade through desire.

“When it counts I do.” She smirked, rolling her hips, pushing down on his crotch. He hissed slightly, his hands gripping her tighter as he bit his lip. Steve took a look round the deserted clearing and his attention turned back to her, his eyes challenging.

“Don’t start something you’re not gonna finish, Sweetheart.” He warned her sternly, his voice low and the tone he spoke with had her twitching even more. She wasn’t one to back down to a challenge, and he knew that, but despite the fact she knew he was playing games, she simply smirked and her hands slid down his chest to his belt, fingers making short work of the buckle before she moved her attentions to the button on his jeans, popping them easily before she slid down the zipper.

“Who says I wasn’t gonna finish it?” She shrugged, as her hand worked into his boxers and wrapped her palm around his warm cock and he gave a low moan, his head falling back as she began to work him.

Katie simply watched his face, his soft lips parting slightly, eyes fluttering shut. Long lashes lay against his rosy cheeks, his Adam’s apple bobbed and he gulped slightly when her movements and grip grew stronger. His eyes opened and locked onto hers, his pupils completely lust blown, speckles of moonlight reflecting in them gave her the impression she was looking at the starry sky and he leaned up and pressed his lips to hers in another hungry kiss, their teeth clashing slightly. She felt the heat pooling between her legs as his hands slid under the side of her long sweater, fingers gripping her skin tightly as he squirmed underneath her.

Katie moved her hand more rapidly, loving the effect she had on him. The fact she could undo the stoic, taciturn Captain in matter of minutes was a fucking turn on and she grinned as he buried his face into her neck as she alternated between fast and hard, long and slow strokes. She felt him attempt to thrust desperately into her palm as he let out a low sigh of her name and she tilted his face back to hers with her spare hand and captured his mouth in a hard kiss as she gave him another slow stroke. At that, clearly done with the teasing, he growled into her mouth, standing up suddenly, spinning her round so her back was pressed to his chest. Katie let out a squeak of surprise as one hand kept her supported easily as it hooked over the front of her chest, the other pulling down one side of her leggings then the other. He sat back down, pulling her over him and in a single thrust upwards had buried himself inside her.

The sudden intrusion made Katie cry out as she felt him fill her, and once he was fully seated and she was stuffed as full as possible, he began to thrust upwards, controlling the speed completely. Her thighs were tight around him, and she was powerless to spread her legs apart much as they were clamped together thanks to the fact her leggings were bunched round her ankles, restricting her movement. Instead, she leaned back, arching her back, head falling to his shoulder, shifting the angle slightly which allowed him to drive up into her even deeper. His hands moved, sliding up her sweater to cup her breasts and as he gently tugged on her nipples she gave a loud wail as the sensation speared through her and she pushed down as hard as she could, rotating her hips slightly. Steve’s breath was hot on her ear as he pulled her down with every thrust up that he made, grinding right up against her spot.

“Such a needy little thing, aint you…” he said, his voice low and punctuated by his heavy breathing and she gave a low keen as he nipped at her neck, his fingers tugging her nipples harder.

“3 weeks Steve…” she panted, and he gave a dirty chuckle, pushing up again, bottoming out completely. It was a movement he repeated again and again, his mouth chaining kisses to her neck. One hand moved down from her chest, calloused fingers brushing lightly against her skin, over her stomach, and she shivered at his touch as he gently reached the spot between her legs. As he pushed up again he gently rubbed against her clit and she cried out, her head falling forwards slightly before his other hand moved upwards, gently wrapping around her neck as he pulled her back, his hand turning her face to his where he caught her mouth in a sloppy kiss.

The feeling of being manhandled like that, in the open air, one hand between her legs, the other round her neck, his cock thrusting slowly against her spot was almost too much, and she groaned, writhing on his lap, her mouth falling open, and when she finally found her voice it was raspy as she struggled to form her words.

“Please, Steve…I need…” her hand grasped the wrist which was between her legs, trying to speed him up. He looked down at her, his face contorted in a mix of pleasure and concentration, sweat beading on his brow.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” she nodded, and his fingers picked up their pace as did his hips. Her legs shuddered slightly as she felt the white, hot heat rising in her belly and she let out a low cry of his name.

“Come on, Doll.” he murmured, “Cum for me, Sweetheart.” And she did, with a force so intense she couldn’t stop herself letting out a loud “Fuck” as she shuddered, the world fading to dark around her, as the waves of pleasure racked her entire body.

“Shit, Katie.” Steve stuttered, his thrusts growing erratic as be bit down gently on her shoulder and he came with a groan, his hips slowing to an eventual stop as he sagged forward a little, forehead buried against her shoulder.

They stayed still for a while, the silence of their surroundings bar the trickle of the stream providing a soothing background as they both recovered themselves. Katie tilted her head round to look at him. His expression was dazed, mouth open in supplication and she loved seeing him so utterly wrecked. A fresh fucked Steve was the most beautiful thing in the world to her. All golden haired, slack jawed, kiss swollen lips and long eyelashes framing that stunningly handsome face. Taking a deep breath, Steve pressed a soft kiss to her neck before he cracked his eyes open and gave her that beautiful smile she lived for.

“For the record,” she hummed into his mouth as she captured his lips in a small kiss. “I’m well aware you totally just played me.”

He gave a soft chuckle and looked up at her, his blue eyes sparkling “Guilty as charged.” His hands ran up her sides underneath her sweater, fingers gently trailing down her ribs. “But I did tell you we were going for a ride.”

**Original Posting**

[vcg73]

FIC: Kurt Birthday Drabbles

Earlier this week @elledelajoie left a comment on something I wrote all the way back in 2014.  I had genuinely forgotten I ever started it, but the original idea was to write 21 Kurt Hummel birthday drabbles. I had written just 7 of them, but after we chatted about it, I decided to go ahead and finish.  

If you’re not familiar, a drabble is a scene of exactly 100 words, not counting title headers. Since Chris Colfer and Kurt Hummel’s co-birthday (May 27) is coming up this Thursday, here they are. This goes definite AU at Birthday #19. Because you know I would never sentence my beloved Kurt to a life of being a doormat to people who did not appreciate and value him.

Never underestimate the power of feedback!

~*~*~*~*~

Birthday #1

Kurt’s blue eyes went wide as a frosted cupcake was set upon his high-chair tray, a single candle ablaze on its surface.  

When Mommy, Daddy, Uncle Andy, Grandpa Curtis and Grandma Eileen started singing to him, he smiled and clapped both hands hard around the tempting pile of frosting.

Kurt laughed when the sugary topping went flying and a big splatter of white abruptly decorated Daddy’s surprised face.

Everyone else started laughed too, including the startled father, who retaliated by giving his birthday boy a sticky peck on the cheek and then helped him to blow out a new candle.

Birthday #2

Kurt looked between his presents, confused.

Mommy had given him the pretty dolly he had begged for at the store. Daddy had given him a truck, not big enough to ride but too big to live with the little cars Daddy gave him at Christmas.

His parents seemed to be mad at each other.

Kurt looked at the doll, then at the truck. He smiled and placed Dolly inside the truck and began to drive her around the carpet.

Mommy and Daddy seemed surprised by his actions, but then they laughed, and Kurt knew he had figured out the puzzle.

 Birthday #3

His shoes were black and shiny, buckles on the sides and 1-inch heels on the base. He clomped over the hardwood floors, listening to the click-tap-click-tap in delight. They went perfectly with his dove gray coveralls with “Kurt” sewn on the pocket in black sequins. Mommy had made the outfit for him.

Spotting Daddy watching him, Kurt threw himself into waiting arms. Daddy’s smile looked like he had an owie but was trying to be a big boy and not cry.

Kurt hugged him. “It’s okay, Daddy.”

Burt looked surprised but hugged him back. “Yeah, buddy. I think it is.”

 Birthday #4

Ballet girls were nice. When they heard it was his birthday today, they threw him a party. Kurt puffed up with pleasure when presented with cookies, a sparkly wand and a tiara that read ‘Happy Birthday’ in shiny letters. He was not as fond of the kisses they gave, but four was very grown up, so he screwed up his face and allowed it. The teacher even let him wear the special puffy pink tutu over his little black leotard! 

 He saw Mommy and Daddy up in the gallery taking pictures, so he waved.

Kurt hoped today would last forever.

  Birthday #5

“Can I have cupcakes?”

Kurt’s mother looked up from her book. “I don’t think we have any, sweetheart.”

“Can we have some Thursday?  My birthday is the last day of preschool.”

“It is?” she said, looking surprised. “Is it your birthday already?”

He nodded seriously. “Don’t you remember, Mommy? You were there.”

She laughed. “Well, you have me there.  What kind of cupcakes would you like, sweetie? And don’t say cheesecake. Those are two completely different kinds of dessert.”

Kurt’s hopeful expression fell. “Oh,” he said, clearly disappointed. Then his face brightened again. “Chocolate?”

She nodded. “That we can do.”

   Birthday #6

“Daddy!”

Burt sat up just in time to catch the little body that launched at him. “What’s wrong, slugger?”

“It’s my birthday!”

Grinning despite the way his heart was hammering at the abrupt awakening, Burt asked, “Yeah? I like birthdays. Do I get a present?”

“No,” the boy scoffed. “I get presents!”

 Burt squinted at the clock. 3:15am. “Not until morning, you don’t.”

Kurt pouted and tried, “It’s almost morning.”

“Not close enough, kid. C’mere,” Burt pulled him into the warm bed between himself and his wife.

Kurt snuggled down and went right back to sleep.  

Burt was less lucky.

 Birthday #7

Kids had started treating him funny this year. He was too fancy, too girly, holding hands was weird.

Nobody was coming.

“I’m sorry, sweetie.”

“Am I too late?”

They jumped as a little black girl with pom-pom hair popped out of nowhere.

“I’m Mercedes,” she greeted. “We just moved here. Mom said you would have invited me if you’d known.”

“I’m Kurt.” He smiled. “Do you like tea parties?”

“Is there cake?”

Mrs. Hummel beamed. “Cake, ice cream, and Kool-Aid.”

Kurt shrugged. “Nobody else came.”

She grabbed his hand like she’d known him forever. “More for us!  Happy Birthday, Kurt.”

 Birthday #8

Kurt took a deep breath, thought for a moment, and carefully blew out the candles. All but the extra one that his parents always put on his cake.

“Aren’t you gonna finish, bud?”

He looked from Daddy over to his mother, home again, but so frail he was sometimes afraid to hug her, worried she might pop like a fragile soap bubble. He offered her the candle. “Here, Mommy. Blow it out. Maybe you’ll get another year to grow on.”

The eyes of the two adults met, then Mommy nodded. The three of them blew out the final candle together.

 Birthday #9

Barely daring to hope, Kurt came down the stairs.  Birthday cakes and presents had been Mommy’s specialty.  Daddy had forgotten his own birthday and had nearly forgotten Christmas.

Kurt gasped when he saw it, waiting, shining and spectacular against the front door.

“A bike!”

Bright green, sissy bars with foil streamers, and a banana seat. Perfect!

Burt smiled. He had scoffed a such a “girly” bike when Kurt spotted it at the toy store. But now, looking at the all-too-rare joy in his son’s eyes and feeling the approving smile his wife would have given, he nodded. It was perfect.

 Birthday #10

Buying gifts was tough when your kid always clammed up on you. A dad had to be observant.

Ten years old. A landmark like that needed something special, but the only thing Kurt seemed into was clothes. He had enough of those for ten kids.  

He’d probably like a Barbie he could change in and out of different outfits, but Burt cringed at the thought.

He did doodle pretty good though. Sure, it was mostly pictures of clothes, but that was a start.

A fancy sketchpad with a case and a hundred different colored pencils. Yeah, that was the ticket.

 Birthday #11

“Dad, where are we going?”

“You’ll see.”

Kurt sighed with exaggerated impatience. He had come home from school to find Dad waiting at the truck, ordering him to get in, then not saying another word. The suspense was killing him.

“Ta-Dahhhh!”

They had pulled up in front of a nondescript brick building. “Columbus Culinary Arts?”

“You like to cook right?  Well, we’re gonna fix your birthday dinner this year with the help of a real chef. Lessons are once a week for the next couple months.”

Gourmet cooking lessons!

“Oh wow. Dad, this is amazing!”

Burt grinned. “Happy Birthday, kid.”

 Birthday #12

Last year’s surprise had gone so well that Burt had decided on a repeat. But when he saw the excitement on Kurt’s face at finding a pair of tickets inside his birthday card turn to disappointment and horror, quickly masked with a fake smile, he knew he’d goofed.

“I know baseball isn’t your thing,” he said, almost pleading. “But you’ve never seen a live game before. It’s a whole different experience. It’s a home game. We can yell and scream, and cheer our team on with thousands of other fans.”

The stiff not-smile never wavered. “Sounds . . . fun.”

 Birthday #13

Dad had bought out one of the partners at the garage this spring and now owned a majority share of the renamed “Hummel Tires & Lube”. Kurt wanted to snicker at that name, but he was proud too.

His birthday this year coincided with Friday Night Dinner. Dad had invited all the mechanics over for a potluck. They’d had Mary’s special fried chicken, Cassius’s homemade cornbread, and Davy’s mac’n’cheese. Now Dad brought out the cake.

Kurt laughed. A sheet-cake with a tow-truck and two little plastic mechanics for decoration.

“You and me kid. Partners.”

The mechanics cheered and everybody dug in.

  Birthday #14

Kurt froze when he saw tickets peeping out of his card. Not again. Noise, sunburn, unhealthy food, tacky uniforms, and Dad trying so hard to make a boring sport seem like fun.

He sighed and pasted on a smile, which quickly transformed into shock.

“Wicked?” he squeaked, staring hard at the little papers as if the printing might change if he dared to look away.

“Embassy Theater is giving regional business owners a discount this year,” Burt said apologetically. “It’s just a traveling production, not real Broadway, but I …”

His apology was cut off by a joyful teenaged hug.

 Birthday #15

“Don’t worry, son, you got this.  Just remember everything I taught you.  You got a whole year to get ready for the practical test.”

“I know.”

“And it’s okay if you don’t get it right the first time. Not everybody does.”

“I’m fine, Dad.”

“I’ll be right here waiting for you when you’re through.”

“I know that, Dad. I’ll be okay, really.”

At that moment, Kurt’s name was called and he sprang from his hard green plastic chair. His dad’s repeated reassurances were making him jumpy.

Twenty minutes later, a brightly grinning Kurt was waving his freshly minted driver’s permit.

 Birthday #16

Burt patted the giant blue bow the dealership had provided over the hood of the shining black Lincoln Navigator.  

Kurt was gonna flip! He’d passed his DMV test with flying colors and was no doubt showing off his shiny new license to all his friends at school.  

He paused. Did Kurt have any friends to share this accomplishment with? He always seemed so alone.

Maybe that’s why he had decided to spoil his son with a huge birthday gift.

It wasn’t right for such a good kid to be all alone. Maybe having his own ride would help change that.

  Birthday #17

A dozen teens gathered in Kurt’s basement to celebrate the end-of-school, non-disbanding of Glee, and Kurt’s birthday, all in one.

“Not like ten years ago,” Mercedes said to Kurt, as they watched Mike and Brittany dance.

“Ten years?”

“Your seventh? It was just you, me, your mom, and lots of chocolate cake.”

Kurt was astounded. “That was you?”

“You forgot?”

“I remember a little girl who showed up and invited herself to my party.”

“And I remember a little boy who needed a friend as much as I did.”

He squeezed her hand. “Thanks for coming.”

She squeezed back. “Always.”

 Birthday #18

Kurt stared at his birthday cake, unable to think of anything to wish for.

He was 18-years-old today, a legal adult. He had new family in Carole and Finn, his dad was on the mend, he would be back at McKinley for senior year, he had made his first visit to New York City, and he had a boyfriend! One who had just told Kurt that he loved him for the very first time.

‘I wish for next year to be as good as this,” he thought, taking a deep breath and blowing.

The flames flickered out, all except one.

 Birthday #19

Senior year had been a disaster, and now he had not gotten into NYADA, despite his well-praised audition.

“Blaine wants me to spend another year here,” he whispered. “I just can’t.”

Burt’s callused hand squeezed his neck. “Then don’t. You’re 19 now, a man. You got talents galore, work experience from the garage, enough drive for ten kids, and your mom’s life insurance money to give you a start.”

“But…”

“No buts,” Burt said firmly. “You go on to New York and grab life by the balls.”

Kurt felt his optimism rise. “Help me look for apartments?”

“You got it.”

 Birthday #20

What a difference a year made.

He’d dumped Blaine after being cheated on less than a month after leaving Lima.  He was enrolled at FIT and sharing a shoebox apartment with a fellow design student and a Broadway hopeful, but both were young gay men from small towns, and they had a lot in common.

“Happy Birthday!” Elliott shouted, tossing a handful of glittery sequins at him.

Adam came in playing the birthday song on a kazoo he had gotten from who-knows-where. “Ready for Callbacks? $20 on who gets the first hot guy’s number!”

“I already have yours. I win!”

 Birthday #21

“I have the honor of presenting your first official grown-up drink,” Adam said, smiling lovingly at his grinning boyfriend of nearly a year. He set down a martini glass with a cherry floating on top. “A Manhattan seemed appropriate.”

Kurt beamed and gave him a kiss, then took an experimental sip. “I’ve had alcohol before,” he admitted. “Mostly wine, though.  Mm, this is good!”

“I thought you’d like it. Happy Birthday, my love.  May the future bring every good thing you wish for, and never more heartache than you can handle.”

Kurt could not have asked for a better sentiment.

THE END

[makeste]

I'd love to read some Naruto analysis by you!

lol I might not be the best person to ask about this, tbh. Naruto happens to be one of the series I mentioned last week where I eventually stopped reading because of things related to the timeskip. it basically got to the point where I realized I was forcing myself to keep reading it, and that everything I had originally loved about it was basically gone. it had all of the problems I mentioned about timeskips -- characters splitting up (AND characters staying together, but us missing out on their development); fights becoming boring; the series becoming way darker and killing off more than a few characters for shock value; and the clumsiest attempt at a romance plot I can recall reading in a manga. I stopped reading it sometime around chapter 400 or so, which would have been around 2009 I believe. the series ultimately went on for another 300 chapters and didn’t end until late 2014, and I have little to no idea what went down in those chapters, and no real interest in ever going back to finish it. I’m not saying it was objectively bad, because I can hardly judge what I haven’t even read. but it just stopped having any type of appeal to me.

regarding Naruto and Sasuke’s relationship, the best way I can describe it (and be warned this is gonna get kind of long lol) for someone who’s unfamiliar with Naruto but knows BnHA, is that it’s basically Bakugou and Deku’s relationship, if both of them were orphaned at a young age, and in Bakugou’s case he was specifically orphaned by his evil older brother who murdered their entire family in front of him. and so Bakugou basically grew up being all “the FUCK is up with that, I am going to KILL THAT DUDE,” and so he went to ninja school to learn how to be a badass so that he could avenge his family. and meanwhile Deku went to ninja school because he was lonely and wanted to be Ninja President when he grew up so that people would finally want to be his friend. and so they both learned to become ninjas, and then they graduated at the ripe old age of Twelve and started ninja internships under ninja!Aizawa’s tutelage along with a badass girl ninja whom ninja!Deku had a massive crush on even though she herself was not-so-secretly crushing on ninja!Bakugou.

and even though ninja!Bakugou and ninja!Deku didn’t get along at first, they started doing all of the usual Rival Things like competing with each other over who is better at running up trees sideways, and their relationship gradually got a little bit better. and then ninja!Bakugou all of a sudden saved ninja!Deku’s life OUT OF NOWHERE (like this boy really had his own “my body just moved on its own” moment all of 27 chapters into the series) and nearly died, and ninja!Deku went into rage mode because of it, and so that was awesome. and so it basically went on like this, with both of them continuing to do rival things like egging each other on to become stronger and talking about how much they want to fight each other and stuff. all that good shit.

anyways though, but where it started to go south was when ninja!Bakugou, much like actual!Bakugou, eventually caught the attention of one of the villain characters who started being all “HEY KID, JOIN ME AND I’LL HELP YOU BECOME STRONG ENOUGH TO KILL YOUR BROTHER.” and at first of course ninja!Bakugou was all “wtf, no”, which, good. BUT THEN it all really started to go to shit when ninja!Bakugou’s Evil Brother came back to town because he wanted to kidnap ninja!Deku, but ninja!Bakugou found out about it and was all “OH HELL NO” and went and found his bro to try to kill him. but seeing as ninja!Bakugou’s brother was one of the strongest characters in the series, and ninja!Bakugou was LITERALLY A CHILD, to make a long story short the Evil Brother basically kicked his ass and was all “nyah nyah nyah what’s up with that you’re still so weak” and subjected him to a little hypno torture session for good measure.

and so basically, ninja!Bakugou spiraled into a mental funk and eventually was all “I GUESS I’D BETTER GO FIND THAT VILLAIN FELLOW AFTER ALL” and RAN AWAY TO GO BECOME EVIL. and ninja!Deku found out about it and went after him and they had a HUGE DRAMATIC FIGHT, but ultimately ninja!Deku lost, and ninja!Bakugou knocked him out and spent some time staring at him sadly and longingly in the rain before shuffling off. and basically after that is when the timeskip happens, and ninja!Deku and ninja!Bakugou spend three years training and then at that point ninja!Bakugou’s character starts to go completely off the rails and he’s out here genuinely trying to kill all of his old friends for Reasons, and at that point I was basically done with him and it was a whole big “YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE, YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BRING BALANCE TO THE PLOT, NOT LEAVE IT IN DARKNESS” thing, and I eventually just quit out of annoyance lol. smdh.

anyway so yeah. and after that I don’t really know too much about what happens. they basically have a whole Star-Crossed Enemies thing going on where ninja!Deku keeps trying to turn ninja!Bakugou back to the good side, even after he literally declares war on their entire country and kills a bunch of people lmao. and it’s supposed to be inspiring I guess, because he never gives up on his friend no matter what. and I think eventually it does turn out all right, or at least bittersweet, from what I’ve gleaned.

but I’m not gonna lie, for me everything I loved about the series was in that pre-timeskip relationship that the two of them had. and honestly, BnHA is such a fix-it in so many ways that I sometimes wonder if Horikoshi (who also grew up on Naruto, millennial that he is) didn’t feel the same way about it. like, there are almost specific things about it that he goes out of his way to “fix.”

first and foremost, unlike Sasuke, Kacchan point-blank refuses to join up with the villains who try to recruit him. still one of my favorite parts of the series honestly. this one specific plot is so reminiscent of where it all started to go wrong in Naruto, and Horikoshi subverts the shit out of it. there’s all this buildup to it, and everyone is all “oh shit is Bakugou really going to turn evil??”, and then when the moment finally happens, Bakugou doesn’t consider their offer for a second. there is no doubt in his mind. he’s a hero, end of story. there’s so much conviction in him, so much determination. god I just love it so much.

Naruto and Sasuke also have their version of a Therapy Fight, pre-timeskip, in which Sasuke challenges Naruto to a fight because he needs to prove to himself that he’s not weak. Sasuke is clearly hurting during this battle (this is just after his encounter with his Evil Brother, and I mean the fight literally takes place on the rooftop of the hospital he was recuperating in), but unlike Deku, Naruto never takes any notice of this. and unlike Bakugou, Sasuke keeps his feelings all bottled up inside him, and so basically they both just get swept up in the Rivalry and wind up nearly killing each other. and again just like in BnHA, Naruto and Sasuke’s fight also gets interrupted by one of their teachers; but unlike All Might, Naruto and Sasuke’s teacher doesn’t give them any sage mentor advice or make sure that the two of them are in a good headspace afterwards. and as a result Sasuke leaves that same fucking night to go join up with the villains. basically it’s almost the exact same Shounen Rival Throwdown, but with completely opposite outcomes. it’s almost uncanny.

and last but not least, unlike Kishimoto, who gives Sasuke his “sacrificing himself to save his rival” moment barely half a year into the series and then basically never refers to it again, Horikoshi spends almost 300 chapters building up to Bakugou’s own version of that moment, so that when it finally happens, it feels earned. not to say that I don’t like the Sasuke moment in chapter 27 of Naruto, because twenty years down the line and it’s still honestly one of my favorite scenes. but I do think Horikoshi’s version of it was ultimately much more satisfying. when Sasuke saves Naruto’s life, you get the sense that he was conflicted as to why he did it. but when Bakugou makes the sacrifice play for Deku’s sake, he knows exactly why he’s doing it, because he’s spent the last 285 chapters going through all of that character development and realizing that Deku is important to him, and realizing that he wants to atone for how he treated him. and so to me that moment is all the more meaningful because of it. definitely a highlight of the series.

anyway, so I’m not sure any of that actually counts as analysis lol, but there you go. fwiw, pre-timeskip Naruto (pre-Shippuuden I should say, although the manga never really made a distinction like the anime did) was and is still one of my all time favorite series. but to my mind BnHA is an improvement on it in almost every way, and with the BakuDeku relationship in particular it’s almost wish fulfillment lol. finally I get to see this childhood-friends-turned-rivals relationship play out the way I always wished it had. that’s basically what I mean when I say it feels like therapy lol. anyways it’s good stuff.

[yni-why]

reading? psh.

  I remember when I was growing up, I never liked reading. Had always thought that it was boring, made me sleepy, it was for nerds and basically for people with no friends. So reading was not on my radar at all. Then when I got to middle school and then high school, back in Hawaii, the school board decided to make it mandatory that for the first 10 minutes of class, students were required to read. Silent, Sustained Reading is what they called it (SSR). Even MORE SO I hated reading because I was being forced to read instead of deciding to read. 

  I wanna say, it wasn’t until my adult life is when I actually picked up a book and committed to finishing it. The first book I read was back in 2014 and it was book called, Under The Lawmans Protection By Laura Scott. It was a crime, drama, thriller. It literally had me at the edge of my seat reading it and when I was finished I thought to myself like, “Okay bih that was a good ass read. See I can do this and have fun doing it. It aint for nerds” and everything I ever thought about what reading was, became irrelevant because I now knew that it wasn’t as bad as I ever thought. 

  That day I finished my first book, it led me to Missing You By Harlan Coben. It was another crime, drama, thriller. I wanna say it took me about a week to get through that book. I will say though, it did have a slow start at first, FOR ME, but by the end of the book I was like, “I am so glad I didn’t stop reading this” . Now this was back in 2014. Since reading those two books it was very hard for me to find ANYTHING to read that would capture my attention.

  Of course within that time I tried finding books to read. I just couldn’t find any that peaked my interest. That is until Season 7 of Game of Thrones. The hit HBO original show that is STILL to this day the number one watched show throughout the entire platform. So anyway, I get introduced to S7 of GoT (by a sad excuse I was dealing with at the time) and i’m like, “OOOOH! I fuhreeken love this show. How the hell have I not heard of this?” He then proceeds to tell me that it is a book series as well and that the author has some short stories and novellas out pertaining to this specific universe. OH SIS, he had me at BOOK okay? 

  So fast forward to that horrible audacity that the showrunners decided to call a series finale, once the show was done; the minute I was able to digest the chaotic nerve of a last season they gave us. I decided to start reading Game of Thrones and I have NOT been able to keep my nose out of GRRM’s books. I’m still reading the first book of his A Song of Ice And Fire series, don’t judge me. I’m taking my time orehays okay?! lol. HOWEVER, I put that on pause because i’m currently reading Fire and Blood AND I have A Knight Of The Seven Kingdoms to read right after (which is just a short novella and just so happens to be another show HBO will be bringing to life as well) No but, I wanna get through Fire and Blood first before I finish A Song of Ice And Fire because, he is still working on the last book of ASOIAF so if I get through all those books, Ima have to wait anyway, so I might as well start a book that has a sequel coming out in a few years AND a show that will be airing mid 2022. 

  I also wanna finish reading it because I want to be able to say I read the book before the series and I can be apart of the book vs series conversation. I just feel like that would be very fun to participate in. Just hearing everyones POV’s and finding out things I probably missed while reading you know? So, YES! I WANNA BE THAT NERD GWORL! OKAY?! lmfao. Seriously though. Never in a million years would I ever thought that I’d be so invested in books. Crazy to think that what was once a joke to me is now something that actually helps with my self and mental health.

  In closing, I just wanna say instead of wasting time doing things that could potentially bring you trouble, doubt, worry or sadness. Pick up a book that interests you and just let your imagination be your movie as you read. I promise you, the experience itself will be worth it. 

Stay bless yall. :) <333

[eternallysantanassass]

It’s been six years since I’ve completed Santana’s Crush. And it amazes me how many people it touched, even now. I still get emails about follows, favs and pms. If you’re on ff(.net) then you know. Who knew that the story of a little girl who had a huge crush on her babysitter would be what it is today? I sure as hell didn’t 😂

It was not my best writing (I have grown so much since then). But I loved every minute of writing. Although it took me almost 3 yrs to finish (that seems to be a recurring pattern).

And I can say, I have not written a story that could top Santana’s Crush…and I’ve written many. I digress. Having said all that, I had a few asks in my inbox instead of doing each one individually. I decided to group them together.

What was your inspo for Santana’s Cush?

I had a crush on my baby sitter. She went away to college. And I never saw her again.

Why did u use Quinntana?

Because I ship them 😂😂

Did you feel weird writing it?

Kind of, but then I did the transition, and it wasn’t weird.

That infamous chapter 💔 inspiration?

That chapter came from a personal experience.

Will u do a story like that for another fandom?

Nope. That’s a once in a lifetime fic

Melissa was a bitch. Wht became of her?

I’ll never teeellll 😈

What are Quinntana up to now? Post crush

Well, there was a stand-alone story for Quinntana week 2014/2015 that kind of explains. But Quinntana got married, then fostered the little girl they were helping, and they eventually adopted her. Her name is Kendall.

There were a couple more, but I don’t want to bore the five people who actually read my posts.

[dynamics-of-an-asteroid]

Dont suppose you have a copy of the interview you could share?

For you, dear anon~

His Dark Materials: Andrew Scott on life after Fleabag and Sherlock

We’ve loved him as both Fleabag’s Hot Priest and Sherlock’s menacing Moriarty. Now, he’s back on our screens in the new series of His Dark Materials. Polly Vernon talks to our TV crush

Andrew Scott is mortified. The actor – formerly Moriarty to Benedict Cumberbatch’s Sherlock, then the Hot Priest of Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s Fleabag, imminently Colonel John Parry in the BBC’s adaptation of Philip Pullman’s His Dark Materials – arrives at the photographic studio, bang on the appointed hour, in a fawn cashmere cardigan with a fine gold chain around his neck, bemoaning “this terrible, terrible eye infection, which is making me so self-conscious. I’m so sorry. It isn’t that you’ve massively upset me before we’ve even started. It’s so annoying. But anyway…”

Scott, 44, is small, vivid, wiry and garrulously Irish, with a face that is not handsome so much as mesmerising, intense, sharply boned, symmetrical, startlingly expressive. Sequences of emotions so subtle and complicated that I can’t begin to identify or keep up with them ruffle his brow from moment to moment. And, yup, the whole thing is rather disrupted by his left eye. This is no light kiss of conjunctivitis. It’s a swollen, red, perma-weeping situation that engulfs the whole socket. Scott turns his face two thirds on to me, so the infection is largely hidden, which would probably help if we weren’t sitting in a brightly lit hair and make-up room with a massive, inescapable mirror fixed to one wall. “Oh God,” Scott says every time he catches sight of his reflection.

Stress?

“Let’s be honest,” he says. “Let’s not skirt around the issue. It’s being overworked and…” Scott’s eye begins weeping. “Oh my goodness. I am so sorry. Really, really very sorry.”

Wanna wear my sunglasses, I ask, holding them out to him.

“That would be a bit more weird, wouldn’t it? I actually did think about that in the taxi, but I thought that would be some sort of weird and screwed Invisible Man-type thing. I mean, it couldn’t be worse. And then we have to go and get our photograph taken. It’ll be one of those pictures where, you know, those creepy pictures… Of people crying?”

That’s what Photoshop’s for, I say.

“Anyway. Let’s just ignore it.”

I wonder if it’s particularly hard to walk around with an eye infection at a point in time where you’re not merely famous, as Scott is – a star of stage, screen and Bond film, winner of multiple awards, including, as of barely two weeks ago, a Best Actor Olivier for Present Laughter at the Old Vic – but specifically famous for being sexy.

In 2019, Andrew Scott became synonymous with, well, sex. While playing a character technically known as the Priest, whom the general public instantly renamed the Hot Priest, the spiritual support turned transgressive love interest of Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s supremely popular Fleabag, Scott became a cypher for the nation’s more exotic desires. A deliciously contentious pin-up. Ground zero on an earnest social media debate about whether the Priest’s relationship with Fleabag should be considered abusive, power imbalanced, “problematic”. And that was just for starters.

The Priest’s sexual iconography extended far beyond the limits of the show, becoming the subject of internet memes and real-life merchandise (visit online retailer Etsy for your £12 Hot Priest mug emblazoned with an illustration of Scott in priest’s robes, alongside the word “kneel”, a reference to a pivotal moment between the show’s lead characters, which takes place in a confession box, the climax of which, assuming you haven’t already seen it, you could probably take a stab at). There was an unprecedented upsurge in young worshippers, and women started bombarding social media “influencer” the Rev Chris Lee of west London with nude photographs. There was much foetid fan fiction.

To be publicly defined by so much sex, as Scott still is, a year and a half after Fleabag concluded, and then to be encumbered by something as visibly unsexy as an eye infection, I can see how that might make a chap self-conscious.

Scott isn’t here to rake up all that old Hot Priest stuff, mind. He’s here to talk about the second series of His Dark Materials, a lush, expensive fantasy drama based on the Philip Pullman books, jewel in the crown of the BBC’s autumn schedule. The series was filmed through 2019 and the beginning of 2020 and had all but wrapped before lockdown. Good timing, as it turned out, because the extensive post-production processes, unlike shooting, could be completed in isolation.

Scott’s Colonel John Parry is an explorer, the missing father of the central character, 14-year-old Will Parry. He’s a man who slipped into a parallel universe some years earlier, acquired a “daemon” – an exterior animal-formed expression of his soul, a female osprey called Sayan Kötör, voiced with public-pleasing symmetry by Phoebe Waller-Bridge – and never found a way back to “our” world and his son. I speak as a fan of the books, which you might describe as a darker, existential response to Harry Potter, although honestly? They’re better than that. The show is great, a deft, rewarding interpretation, and Scott is an exciting prospect as Parry.

Did he jump at the part?

“I did, actually. It was definitely something I was into. We were doing a play and it seemed like a fun thing to do.” Scott is one of those who slips into the third person when speaking about himself in a professional capacity.

Had he read the books?

“Yeah,” he says. “I think they’re extraordinary. The truth, but told on a slant. I love the way Pullman tells children about spirituality or religion in such an extraordinary, intelligent way. He doesn’t speak down to them. He talks to children’s souls.”

Given that Pullman effectively kills off God through the course of the books and Scott’s a lapsed Irish Catholic who has suffered his share of shame on account of the church’s grip on his homeland (more on which shortly), I’d imagine Pullman’s books talked to Scott’s adult soul too.

Presumably, he didn’t have to audition. Presumably, he never has to. Too famous for auditions?

“No,” he says. “Although I’ve always thought auditioning is a pretty good thing to do.”

Why?

“Because you’re able to understand, ‘Oh, this is the vibe here.’ You think, when you’re an actor, you don’t have much choice, but I’ve always felt like auditioning is a good opportunity for you to go, ‘Oh well, I don’t much like you either. I think you’re dreadful!’ ”

I don’t care that you didn’t give me that part?

“Yeah.” Scott becomes playfully, theatrically defiant. “I don’t care!” He flicks aside an imaginary rejection with a churlish hand.

Will John Parry and His Dark Materials be enough to eliminate all residual overtones of Hot Priest sexiness from Scott? Maybe. He is a fine actor, no question, entirely transformed from role to role. I saw him play Paul, a narcissistic, fame-addled touring rock star, at the Royal Court in 2014 in Simon Stephens’ Birdland, back when his deeply sinister Moriarty weighed almost as heavily on Scott’s reputation as the Hot Priest does now. I’d watched him become someone else entirely on stage. “Oh, you saw that?” Scott says, pleased.

I quote, “Am I cancer?” at him, his defining line from the play, as evidence.

“Oh Jesus. Oh f***ing hell. Oh my. I’d forgotten that line. ‘Am I cancer?’ ”

The Hot Priest association hasn’t left him yet, which is why I find myself asking what it’s like to be the very definition of sexiness.

“You get invited to more parties.”

Better parties?

“Yeah.”

Better than during his Moriarty phase?

“Definitely.”

It must be fun to find yourself le dernier cri in sexy, according to the whole nation.

“Yeah, that’s fun,” he says. “I didn’t really like being associated with scary. It’s not what I’m interested in being, in life, being intimidating to people. It’s not part of my nature, whereas being sexy to people…”

That is part of his nature?

“Well, they’re very different things.”

They’re both about having power over people.

“I suppose they are, yes.”

So did Scott, bored of scaring people, say to Phoebe Waller-Bridge, writer and star of Fleabag and a long-term friend (they met in 2009 while starring in Roaring Trade at the Soho Theatre), “Write a role for me that will make everyone think I’m just really, really sexy now”?

“That’s such a good belt. Are they two ‘Gs’?”

“Exactly.”

———���——————

Andrew Scott is not the easiest interview. He’s utterly charming. Really, just a delight. In between prostrating himself for the offence of his eye and apologising for not turning up the first time we were scheduled to meet (ten days earlier; a delayed Covid test result meant he couldn’t make it), he ensures I have a good time in his company. He is playful. He makes me laugh. His every utterance is delivered as a grand performance. (“Shhhh! Just… Shhhh!” he implores, placing a finger against his lips while expressing frustrations over the mindless jabber of social media, and he does it so powerfully, he compels me to be quiet, breathlessly to await delivery of his next line.) He finds elegant ways to flatter me. He laughs at my jokes and is terribly taken with my belt.

Yeah. For Gucci.

“Oh. Ha ha! I thought it was the Golden Globes. I love the Golden Globes. Ha ha!”

And of course, he’s Irish. Clichédly, melodiously Irish, which makes everything sound softer and jollier than it might otherwise.

As for the actual business of being interviewed, of answering straight questions with straight answers, finishing off sentences, offering more than a slip-slide of vagaries punctuated by vigorous hand gestures, none of which translates into print? He’d rather not.

He tells me, as he’s told other journalists before, this is because he’s interested in navigating the line between “privacy and secrecy”, then says he’s aware he’s sometimes “got away with secrecy under the guise and respectability of privacy”, as if signalling potential incoming slipperiness, which means I prepare to throw every trick in the book at him.

First up: amateur psychology.

Might Andrew Scott’s gayness be at the heart of his reluctance to speak more freely? Perhaps. This is no scoop. He’s been out for almost as long as he’s been famous. “I mean, as a civilian, I was quite young [when I came out], you know? But then, as a celebrity…”

He tails off, allows me to fill in the blanks. This is another of his evasion tactics. I can’t very well quote Scott on the presumptions I make about things he never quite says.

He had to have another coming out?

“Yes. And I have another one coming up.”

He has another coming out coming up?

“Yeah.”

So that will be, what? Tier 3 gayness?

“Tier 3, yeah.”

Scott grew up in Ireland at a time when it wasn’t legal to be gay, which could certainly seed an enduring reluctance towards carefree openness in a person. He invokes the concept of shame more regularly than the average interviewee. He was born in Dublin in 1976 to Nora, an art teacher, and Jim, who worked at an employment agency. He has one older sister, Sarah, and a younger one, Hannah.

He was shy, so started attending a children’s drama course.

Did that help?

“Yeah. Acting to me is not pretending to be someone else. It’s more like, this is who I actually am. The lie that tells the truth,” he says. I am none the wiser. He was clearly talented. He went from adverts to his first starring role in a film aged 17 (Korea, directed by Cathal Black), won a bursary to art school but took a place at Trinity College Dublin to study drama instead, and ditched that six months in to join Dublin’s Abbey Theatre. He’s been gainfully employed in the field ever since.

How Catholic was his upbringing?

“Well, there were Catholic priests in my life,” he says. “None of whom I wanted to have sex with.”

Does it amuse Scott to know he inspired a mass fetishising of priestly ranks? That in 2019, the Hot Priest would make, “Can you have sex with a Catholic priest?” one of the most googled terms of the year?

“Absolutely f***ing mental,” he says.

Homosexuality wasn’t legalised in Ireland until 1993, when Scott was 16.

“I always think, if I’d had a boyfriend then, which I definitely did not…”

No?

“No.”

He knew he was gay, though?

“No. No, no, no, no!”

Was he suppressing it or not thinking about it?

“I would say suppressing. Definitely suppressing. I don’t believe people just don’t think about it.”

An upbeat, cheesy jazz remix of something or other starts playing outside the room.

“Oooh, this is the soundtrack for this bit of the interview,” says Scott. He wiggles his shoulders to the music.

I switch to strict dominatrix interviewer mode. Focus, I say. You were about to tell me something good.

“Oh, shit, was I? OK. I think what’s really insidious is that people don’t ask you about sex or… People wouldn’t say, ‘Are you gay or are you [straight]?’ And the lack of directness is very damaging. They just didn’t go there.”

Does he think his family, friends, the people closest to him knew then that he was gay?

“No,” he says. “I don’t think they did know. Or maybe they have a suspicion, but they think, I want to be respectful, so I’m not going to ask about that. Then [when you do come out], people say, ‘Oh, I’m glad.’ You know? If you do talk about it. So I suppose what I feel now is, talking about sex or sexuality is important. Really important.”

Having said that, “There’s still getting rid of the shame. In a situation like this, 10 or 15 years ago, I would have been…” He fakes shock, horror. “Oh no! Polly’s just asked me about [he switches to a whisper] that.”

Scott will talk about his sex life only notionally. No specifics. For 15 years, between 2001 and 2016, he was in a relationship with the actor turned screenwriter Stephen Beresford (Scott starred in Beresford’s 2014 film Pride). Ever since, he’s refused to answer questions about his romantic life.

And he’s not going to talk about it now, I presume.

“No.”

What if we talk about it opaquely?

“OK.”

Where does he see himself, domestically, in an ideal world? Married with kids whom he’ll, I dunno, adopt or have via surrogacy?

“I like it. It’s bold. Am I going to adopt or…?”

Get a surrogate?

“I definitely think that’s something I would be open to.”

Great, I say, with blatant sarcasm. Thanks. How specific.

“Ha! I’m sorry. OK. Have I got any children at the moment? No. How can I… [explain]? OK. I was with a friend of mine in Dublin…”

His partner?

“No, no, no. Not my partner. Ah ha. I see what you were…”

Teasing. Yes.

“Ha! Yes. So, I was with a friend in Dublin and we were walking around and he was looking at apartments and I was like, ‘What about this place here?’ You know? And he said, ‘No,’ and I said, ‘Why not?’ and he said, ‘I don’t live a heteronormative life, so I don’t want a heteronormative house.’ ”

What’s a heteronormative house?

“Two up, two down thing. He goes, ‘I can live in a loft or a weird space. I don’t need those things.’ He was so proud of it. He really owned it. I think where a lot of one’s pain comes from is when you go, ‘I should want that.’ And so, to answer your question opaquely, I have kids I adore. I love children, genuinely, and I had a very happy childhood. But I also feel, if I don’t have kids, that’s all right. I think I would’ve attached a lot of shame beforehand, with not living a particularly heteronormative life… Even with being gay, there’s a sort of way of being gay that’s acceptable. And I don’t feel that any more.”

He feels you can be unacceptably gay?

“Exactly. Exactly!”

I ask when shame shifted for him and Scott says it was when Ireland voted overwhelmingly in favour of same-sex marriage in the 2015 referendum, which felt, he says, “like acceptance, genuinely. And I remember going out to this gay bar in Dublin and this girl came up to me, this cool Dublin girl, and she said, ‘What are you doing here? You need to go down to, I don’t know, blah, blah, this bar in some park.’ She was saying, ‘This isn’t the right gay bar for you. This is some shit gig,’ when the fact I’m in a gay bar in Ireland [at all] is a miracle to me, and then some person with a half-shaved head is telling me, ‘No, you need to go somewhere cooler.’ ”

His left eye starts weeping again.

“I’m so happy about that,” he says. “Even though I’m crying.”

I ask Scott if he has a game plan when picking roles, if he plots his course from Sherlock villain to Bond quasi-villain (he played Max Denbigh in Spectre) to sex icon, and, if so, what next? “No. Jesus, no,” he says.

We talk about the totalitarianism of social media, which he isn’t on, and share a mutual despair over it. “I thought it was something one would associate with the right, but actually, now it’s [the left] that is very ‘you’re this’ or ‘you’re that’. I find that quite frightening. It actually makes me feel ferocious.”

Is he not worried about being cancelled, of somehow saying the “wrong” thing, according to Twitter sensitivities, then having a thousand voices mobilised against him, demanding his firing, in the style of JK Rowling?

“I’m not,” he says. “I refuse to be. A very intelligent person I was talking to recently was writing a book and he said, ‘I’m going to get a sensitivity expert to have a look. I don’t want to get cancelled.’ I found that frightening.”

Is he rich? “Rich is the absence of worry about money,” he says. He can’t remember the last time he worried about money.

That must be nice.

“Of course it f***ing is. I think it’s a miracle. I really do. I was working in a French theatre in London for nothing – none of us was working for anything – and I remember the artistic director of the theatre talking about the fact we weren’t earning any money as some sort of virtue. I remember feeling really annoyed about that, like this isn’t good.”

This leads to an inevitable conversation about how the arts are suffering with Covid, including a segue down the Fatima route, the much shared government advert that depicted a young ballerina and suggested she retrain in something called cyber. “Her name’s not even Fatima,” Scott rails. “I think she’s called Desire’e. From New York.”

I mean to ask him about his experience of filming The Pursuit of Love with Lily James and Dominic West, stars of their own recent off-screen micro-scandal in Rome, just in case he lets any scurrilous insight slip, but our time’s up and it’s not as if Scott has much form on offering up scurrilous insight anyway.

Still, I feel grateful to him for meeting me halfway on the other stuff. And so I say goodbye to Andrew Scott, the UK’s foremost gay heterosexual lapsed Catholic faux-priest lust icon with a troublesome eye infection.

[dogcopter]

Jane is Lore 2020

Ok, here’s the round up of the ghost part of the situation with @keepbeachcitysafe​ and @keepbeachcityweird​.

Theory: Ronaldo’s girlfriend Jane is the key to figuring out Rose Quartz is not gone, largely via a constellation of background clues. If that sounds ridiculous, I understand. I’m Ronaldo. Actually I’m not Ronaldo, but hopefully I’ll have a post about him too soon. I hope we can all have fun together tho

This post is very, very long and involves a lot of images. It will be confusing at first, but please entertain the thought and keep reading, and I hope it clicks into place. I may need to update it later. 

Three sections for supporting evidence:

1. Restaurant Wars, Jane, KBCW/KBCS blogs’ interaction & contents

2. Astral projection/ghosts/fusions

3. Dogcopter secrets

Restaurant Wars Saga & Jane’s appearances

So Ronaldo has a blog at @keepbeachcityweird​ - he also published a book based on his blog called Keep Beach City Weird: You Can’t Hide the Truth!!!, which is available for purchase.

On April 23, 2014, Lion 2: The Movie airs. Jane appears for the first time working the ticket booth at the movie theater and sees Lion and the kids fight a killer robot. Dogcopter 3 is playing at the theater.

April 23, 2014, Ronaldo at Keep Beach City Weird also posts about seeing Dogcopter 3 at the movie theater, where the parking lot is a mess, presumably from Steven, Connie and Lion’s robot training fight.

He mentions “First of all, it’s a huge mistake to turn the last Dogcopter book into THREE movies.”, but that’s less relevant to this particular post. The important thing is that he, like Connie, follows Dogcopter, who’s also associated with Jane. (We’ll get to Dogcopter’s appearances in SU in the last part of this once the context is established) 

Ronaldo’s posts in general document specific events and details in his home Beach City, but that’s another post entirely.

Exactly a year later, Ronaldo on April 23, 2015 posted about receiving a mysterious letter, which might be from Jane because (beneath a great deal of smudging) it appears to call Ronaldo the CUTEST GUY EVER! (This isn’t crucial or anything, just noting it as one of our first Jane points).

I GOT A LETTER TODAY!!!  But for some reason it was all wet and I can’t even tell what it says.  Is it a love letter?  Is it a death threat?  Please tell me!  I need to know if I should lock my doors or open my heart!

Jane also appears in Beach City Drift. After Beach City Drift, keepbeachcitysafe posts an episode reaction blog, on July 22 2016, and takes special notice of Jane.

Hey did you guys notice that girl that keeps appear. We saw her when Steven took Connie to the movies and now she’s here. I wonder if she’s involved in something. Hmmmm. So Stevonnie raced Kevin down the hill in his Himitsu X12, that’s secret in Japanese.

(Kevin’s Himitsu X12 is his car, in the middle there. We’ll come back to this and what KBCS means in a second.)

July 25 2016, Restaurant Wars airs, the third of Jane’s four appearances in SU. In this ep, Jane comes a long way to return Ronaldo’s Koala Princess DVDs, and catches Ronaldo with Kiki and is upset. 

KBCS posts another episode reaction blog, pays attention to Jane again, and says they plan to message Ronaldo.

Ronaldo says he can’t do it because of his girlfriend. Ooo, he has a girlfriend, that’s pretty cool, you just know whats gonna happen next.

Ok so, Ronaldo’s, GIRLFRIEND, (imagine me saying that in slow motion) showed up at the worst possible moment.

Everything was back to normal. Except poor Ronaldo, I should sent him a letter to cheer him up. Seen ya next week.

Almost immediately the KBCS and KBCW blogs play out a little interaction online:

Ronaldo goes through some stuff.

No post today.  If anyone needs me I’ll be at Brooding Hill… where I’ll be CRYING. I usually cry at Crying Canyon, but it’s closed right because of some flash flood warnings.  

Then Ronaldo posts KBCS’s letter.

Note how KBCW caps this message so the name is clearly visible? It’s referring to Ronaldo’s bio:

It’s not very cheering...but things work out shortly thereafter. Jane likes one of Ronaldo’s posts and all seems well.

I think it’s going to work out you guys.  Thanks for all your support.

After this, Ronaldo doesn’t post again until Rocknaldo several months later, and one last time after publishing his book. 

That’s April 18 2017. The KBCW tumblr is never updated again. KBCS’s final post is not long after, Jul 4, 2017.

Finally, Jane makes a cameo alongside Ronaldo in the very last scene of Steven Universe Future, “The Future.”

Koala Princess, Astral Projection and Psychic Ghosts

So some interesting patterns come up when you connect the two blogs, the clues associated with Jane, and some understanding of Steven’s powers. Let’s revisit Keep Beach City Weird, a Ronaldo’s primary blog, and Keep Beach City Safe, which contains mysteries too big for this simple Dogcopter/Jane-hime lore post.

Keep Beach City Weird - Ran from September 2013 to April 2017, with a lot of posts made in October 2015 and July 2016.

Keep Beach City Safe - Ran from June 2015 to July 2017, with most posts in 2016 of course.

Let’s look at a timeline of posts. I’m going to call out things that we’ll connect to the Jane lore at the end.

Keep Beach City Weird: Ronaldo’s blog

Nov 1, 2013, days before Steven Universe first airs: KBCW’s first post is all about Astral Projection.

Astral Projection!  The ability to travel outside your physical body and into other planes of existence!

I began to feel lightheaded and before I knew it, I was floating above my body.  Amazing!  I walked out onto the boardwalk in my new ASTRAL FORM, and you know what the weird thing was?  Nobody even said hello to me.  I was COMPLETELY INVISIBLE!  I mean, usually nobody really notices me, but this was a different kind of not being noticed.  This was not being noticed on another plane of existence - so I didn’t feel bad about it.Anyway, after being ignored in the arcade and Fish Stew Pizza, I got bored and I went back to the fry shop to re-merge with my body. 

Astral projection is a power Steven demonstrates a number of times, and you’ll see among these posts that certain powers of Steven involving this stuff are called out by the blog. 

Connie: What? Where are you? How are you...? Steven: I’m not sure, but I think it’s a classic psychic ghost type situation. Connie: Ah, of course! So, what’s the plan?

from Reunited

Steven: Oh man. I fell asleep and had this weird dream. I opened the door and Lapis was there, and- Pearl: Well, that doesn’t make any sense. Lapis is fused with Jasper at the bottom of the ocean. Steven: You’ve never had a dream before, huh? Pearl: Uh, I don’t think so.

from Chille Tid

August 28, 2014, Joking Victim, Ronaldo posts about ghosts. And an arsonist from about 150 years ago.

September 04 2014, Steven and the Stevens, Ronaldo posts about "cross dimensional travelers”

And all the cross dimensional time travelers I know don’t want to go on the record about their experiences.  

Not mentioning posts that don’t mention ghosts/astral projection/dimensions in some capacity, but in realtime Ronaldo liveblogs in response to episode events.

Ronaldo also answers some fan asks. On October 31 2014 after Keep Beach City Weird he answers this question about floaters with “BACTERIAL GHOSTS” in all caps, this one about his first encounter with the supernatural (the events shown in Horror Club, which aired February 12, 2015)

Nov 2014, Ronaldo posts twice about Watermelon Stevens and a review of the anime Soul Blaster, “Like every anime, Soul Blaster is about a high school student.  Our hero is a cool dude, with even cooler hair named Kyosuke.  He battles rogue spirits with the help of his Soul Blaster - which happens to be powered by the spirit of his deceased younger brother, Kettaro. “

On December 4, 2014 Ronaldo posts about Koala Princess, who will become important in this post when we get back to Dogcopter and Jane. Koala Princess is repeatedly used as a stand-in for talking about Steven’s journey. In this post Ronaldo says:

AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Ok, so I just finished the final episode of Koala Princess and I don’t want to get too emotional on you guys but I CAN’T STOP CRYING!  Koala Princess goes on a walkabout and enters dreamtime and finally MEETS HER KOALA MOTHER FOR THE FIRST TIME!!! SLKDJFSDJ:FS

I’ve got so many feels!  These feels are the real deals!  On wheels!  WHAT AM I SAYING?! I’M GOING CRAZY!!!

Lion 3: Straight to Video aired on the same day as Ronaldo’s post. In this episode Steven meets Dogcopter in a dream, and then sees his mother Rose Quartz for the first time - she speaks to him via a VHS tape.

After Alone Together, Ronaldo posts about Stevonnie, who is a fusion. He also gets stuck under a fridge for a bit after Future Vision in January 2015.

And I want TO GET OUT FROM UNDER THIS FRIDGE!

He posts like five times about it in the same day because he’s freaking out.

And also I want my body to be shot into space with a print version of my blog so an alien civilization can find me reconstruct my body and worship me.

On February 19 2015 after Winter Forecast, he posts about using time travel to fix bad decisions:

Sometimes I think about all the bad decisions I’ve made and how they’ve affected my life, and I wish I could go back in time and change them.  But unless I can find a way to break into the Pentagon and steal a time bike, I’m just stuck with having regrets.  

After Political Power Ronaldo claims glowsticks are filled with ghost blood.

Anyway, then stuff happens. 

January 4 2016, after The Answer, Ronaldo posts about seeing Dogcopter 4 and shares the poster for it.

One interesting thing about the poster is that if you invert it and mess with the contrast a bit, a strange diagram appears on the left. A true mystery.

And after months of avoiding and spoilers or teasers or trailers, I was in line for Dogcopter 4, and then some dummy walking out of the theater TOTALLY SPOILED EVERYTHING and was like, “I can’t believe that Dogcopter’s parents are actually cats.”  

Coming back to Dogcopter in a minute, but these are relevant details.

Dogcopter dies defending the planet but then he comes back to life because he’s actually part cat and cats have 9 lives.

On Jan 5, Steven’s Birthday, Ronaldo posts about celebrating his birthday on a different date every year.

Every year, I celebrate my birthday on a completely different day.  Why?  To keep my birthdate a SECRET so that no clandestine government agencies can steal my identity!

July 2016, the saga with Jane and KBCS above happens. When he’s sad about Jane breaking up with him, the same day Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service comes out (in which Steven astral projects into Kiki’s dream), he listens to sad music.

Ugh, I wish I had some sad music to listen to at work.  All I have is a playlist of video game soundtracks and some EVP recordings of ghost hauntings.  I guess ghosts are sad.  I’ll just listen to those.

But if you’re feeling happy, I do suggest listening to the “Go-Go Gorilla Go-Go Kart Racing” soundtrack.  Some solid 16-bit J-reggae.

This post may partly be a reference to the Sadie Killer song G-G-G-Ghost, which is performed in The Big Show and wouldn’t air for a bit, but is also astral projection related.

Why can't you see me? Why can't you see me? I think I might be A g-g-g-ghost. Can't you see that I exist? And I don't need an exorcist To let me out Look at me and I'll appear Why can't you see that I'm right here? That I'm right here? Why can't you see me? Why can't you see me? I think I might be A g-g-g-ghost. I'm calling you from the other side

Once Ronaldo has gone through grief and anger, he resorts to begging her to come back. This post is from July 28, the day Alone at Sea aired in which Jasper begs Lapis to return.

Much like Koala Princess’ vision in the Eucalyptus Jungle in Season 5, Episode 13 what you saw on the Boardwalk the other day was not what it seemed. I was only pretending to date Kiki to defend my family’s honor, just as the Kanga-ronin did in Season 1, Episode 3!

Here is another Koala Princess reference. There are a couple SU references in the episode numbers in this post.

The events of Season 5, Episode 13 of KP was not what it seemed: for Steven Universe, this is Your Mother and Mine, in which Garnet tells a story told to her by Rose Quartz. It later turns out to be a false origin story to cover the truth that Rose Quartz was Pink Diamond.

Kanga-ronin pretended at something to defend family honor in Season 1, Episode 3, which in SU is Cheeseburger Backpack - where Steven buys a novelty backpack so he can carry things on missions to be useful for the gems, fails his first mission and pretends he’s fine. The events of this ep are later referenced in The Test.

Finally, Koala Princess’ vision in the Eucalyptus Jungle is a reference to Stevonnie’s vision in Jungle Moon, which is Stevonnie’s first interaction with Pink Diamond via a memory dream. In this dream, all was not as it seemed either.

Then the KBCW blog doesn’t post until Feb 2017, after Rocknaldo. A couple ghost and dream-y quotes from here:

In my searches for THE TRUTH, I’ve done a lot of listening.  I’ve listened to haunted houses to hear ghosts from other dimensions.  I’ve listened to radio signals from the cosmos for signs of alien life.

I’ve also learned that HUMANS NEED TO SLEEP.  I didn’t sleep for 48 hours and I PASSED OUT FOR DAYS.

Ronaldo’s final post is an ad for his book, which comes out during a hiatus, and he references Koala Princess again: 

I did have a little help from some fellow truth-stigators I met on a Koala Princess forum, Ben Levin and Matt Burnett, but most of the work was definitely done by ME!  

Now let’s look at Keep Beach City Safe.

Keep Beach City Safe: [???]’s blog

For KBCS, I’m only going to skim to address ghost/astral projection related content that comes back to the business with Jane, Dogcopter, Koala Princess and Rose. The rest of this blog is a little too big for right now. 

It’s interesting that KBCS seems to have mostly flown under the radar, but between the Jane arc and a couple other things I believe it to be legit. Suffice to say I’m treating it as real and you will see why in a minute.

For KBCS I’ll mostly mention which episode a post is associated with, but not the date like with Ronaldo’s.

KBCS’s reaction blog to Nightmare Hospital includes a couple relevant lines:

Where was the Gem M.? I heard footsteps behind me. I turned around! It was mom!

Don’t tell me It’s on the other side of the hall corner. That would mean it saw mo- Connie’s mom!

KBCS posts a blog between Too Far and The Answer, in which they review a number of events. (They post another blog about fusions in which they describe Garnet and Stevonnie’s components as well)

During the movie the TV just shut down and they were being chased around by a “ghost”. It was actually a gem stuck inside the house, making the house seem like it was possessed.

They also get pretty excited about Steven’s birthday.

Only a few more minutes until Steven’s Birthday!

Eeeeh! Only a few mins left until midnight. We finally get to learn about Garnet’s past! Are guys happy, I know I am. I can’t even express how happy I feel, but I’ll try. And I will not act crazy while doing it, Imma keep it cool. So it’s like Peace and Love had a son, and his name was Steven! Then Steven fused with Connie, who was the daughter of Happiness. And they formed Stevonnie, who was made of everything right within the universe!

On Steven’s Birthday they also post about the Dogcopter 4 movie.

I’m gonna be a Smart Spoiler and drop hints in my post for you guess. Only those who have watched it will notice the clues. Yep, watching it 9 times.

This clearly references Ronaldo’s post about Dogcopter having nine lives, but KBCS is a little more considerate about spoilers.

In KBCS’s “It Could’ve Been Great” post, they’re still talking about Steven’s birthday. There’s a promo image attached as well.

To start things off I just wanted to say: I did see Steven turn into a baby? And I would also like to say: DID YOU SEE STEVEN TURN INTO A BABY!?!?

So, by now your probably wondering what the second image is aren’t you? We clearly it’s a pic of Rose holding a cupcake candle.

We, here at Keep Beach City Safe, thought that Steven would’ve liked to have his mom at his birthday party. Happy Birthday from all of us at KBCS. Hope you like it.

Future Vision reference. (Some of this is less relevant to the Jane thing but I’m pulling quotes that are related to fusion and stuff in the hopes it gets clearer)

This reminds me of the time that Garnet gave Stevens her future vision. I don’t know what happens exactly, but I think you see what’s going to happen in the future hence the name future vision. Being able to see into the future would be awesome, yet terrified at same time.

There’s a great post about Pie Day - in fact, KBCS posts about Pie Day a few times. They call out Pearl, too, which reminds me of a certain prolific fandom video editor’s handle.

You know who else knows about Pi. Pearl, but also Peridot.

Pearl Doesn’t Like Pie. Happy Pie Day!

This is not a good photo of Pear let’s see if we can find a better one. Now that’s better.

Sorry for the tangent. Let’s talk koalas now.

KBCS posts about The New Lars. They have thoughts about Steven’s ability to hop into other bodies, namely the question of whether Rose could do this as well.

Steven is worried that Lars isn’t being truthful about his feelings. So through his dreams, Steven jumps into Lar’s body, and trys to make his life better. But he only makes things worse.

Steven somehow possessed Lars’s body through his dreams. He’s done it before and he’ll do it again, we have a word for it now: Dream Possession. But he can also enter dreams.

He did it with Lapis, the Watermelon Stevens, and now Lars. That’s one gem, one sentient plant, and one human. Well with lapis he was merely communicating with her. This, new power, is seems to activates itself whenever Steven wants to help someone, but can’t because something getting in the way. Could this be a power passed down from Rose, or is this a power he himself posses?

#koala vs sloth

in The New Lars, koalas come up twice. Koalas in SU are associated with Steven’s astral projection powers. Remember how Koala Princess met her mother in the dreamscape? 

Steven: For your consideration...The koala, a marsupial from the forests of Australia, and the sloth, hailing from the forests of South America. Who should be crowned the king of the "Hanging Around Doing Nothing" mammals!?

Steven in Lars’ body: Whatcha doing? Hanging out? Buck: Yeah. Steven: That's cool. Would you say you hang out more like koalas or sloths? Uh, I'm asking for Steven.

Steven: Um... I'm really, really sorry about yesterday. I got you a card, it's got a koala and a sloth.

From The New Lars. Steven references koalas three times.

KBCS gets to Beach City Drift. They take notice of Jane and of Kevin’s car.

Hey did you guys notice that girl that keeps appear. We saw her when Steven took Connie to the movies and now she’s here. I wonder if she’s involved in something. Hmmmm.

So Stevonnie raced Kevin down the hill in his Himitsu X12, that’s secret in Japanese.

So while we’re back on the subject of Jane, here’s something interesting about Dogcopter and the Himitsu X12. They both show up in advertisements together in the background of Empire City.

Mr Greg

Same Old World

This is what KBCS is talking about - Dogcopter has a secret.

For Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service, KBCS has more to say about dreams.

She has a nightmare and Steven, coincidentally, falls asleep after eating and enters Kiki’s dream. Now Steven The Dream Warrior, must help Kiki battle her dream, and finally end this nightmare once and for all.

Steven, who for some reason keeps going into people’s dreams, goes into Kiki’s dream.

Steven fought for about week, and he’s was tired by day four. And we know from experience that a sleepless Steven, is a cranky Steven.

This is the same power Steven used in Chille Tid. and look who showed up again?

After Monster Reunion airs, KBCS posts a liveblog and includes a far-fetched accusation that Rose Quartz is Pink Diamond.

Think about it! A Diamond should have access to all gem controlled tech, right. And if Rose Quartz was Pink Diamond, which she is, then she should be able to too, right. And Steven has Rose’s gem. So now Steven can access gem tech. And one more thing to prove this theory once and for all.

But there’s one thing that doesn’t add up. Rose Quartz… is a Quartz. How could she be a Diamond?????? Maybe I’m wrong, she could have been just working along side Pink Diamond. Maybe this just a crackpot theory about the impossible. I don’t think gems can turn into different gems? who knows, I guess we’ll find out sooner or later. 

When KBCS gets to Crack the Whip, they take note of Lion and tag him thrice:

Crack the Whip! Is it just me or is that foreshadowing?

Oh, did I mention that Lion was there. He was just there, when Connie opened the door, he walked up and just started hanging. It was so cool! It was like, Just Lion Things 2! So the snack break, that takes the whole day, ends at the beach, where the idea originally began.

Amethyst faces off Jasper, gem to gem, while Steven and Connie, and don’t forget Lion, fight the corrupted gem.

Lion was keeping the Gem Monster busy while all of this was happening. I was so stunned when Steven and Connie fused, without doing a fusion dance! How well they worked, together, they rode on Lion, and defeated Jasper, and poofed the Gem Monster all at the same time!!!

#just lion things 2 #lion fights #lion still fights

There’s also a weird Google Slides slideshow connected to the KBCS account, which includes this image featuring Lion, Tiny Floating Whale, (and Connie and Greg) and the word TRUE with Steven’s affirmative!

More Koala Princess

Two more Koala Princess references - although only one is immediately relevant - 

In Gemcation, Ronaldo keeps texting Steven about Koala Princess. Steven’s lockscreen is a selfie with him and Lion.

Also, as a sidenote, Koala Princess is implicated in sneople trolls on anime message boards.

Dogcopter

These are just the Dogcopter appearances (Thanks to SU wiki as well as my brain) Dogcopter fights robots in at least one timeline, and the book is allegedly really long. Bold Dogcopters are the pink dogcopter, everything else is an ad or grey.

Lars and the Cool Kids - Poster

Lion 2 - The movie they all go see.

Lion 3 - Gives Steven advice.

Chille Tid  - Shows Steven how to find Lapis. Meows. (Dogcopter’s parents are cats.)

Same Old World & Mr. Greg - Advertisement

Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service - flies Steven away.

In Dreams and Growing Pains (Note this is grey Dogcopter) - Flies away in Stefan’s nightmare, proposes to Drew the driver (or at least offers them something) in the Dogcopter 6 Till Death Do Us Bark I Now Pronounce You Man and Woof trailer.

Snow Day - Pupcopter, a spinoff for babies.

And for Steven’s Birthday - Connie points out a Dogcopter constellation.

Astral Projection

Another quick summary. I’ve written a lot on this psychic ghost stuff so check my blog if you want the tags, idrc. Summary of astral projection powers Steven has shown:

Leaving his body (Reunited, Escapism)

Possessing other bodies (New Lars, Escapism, SWI)

Traveling to others’ dreams (Kiki’s Pizza, Chille Tid)

Interacting with fusion components within the fusion’s mind (Chille Tid, Mindful)

Regarding KBCS’s question of whether Rose could have done this, it doesn’t seem impossible - and as of Fragments and Homeworld Bound, we know that Gems don’t die when they are killed. (Lol.) That is, the personality/soul can appear in the same gem if it’s shattered and repaired. And Steven’s mom’s gem is perfectly intact, inside him. 

Literally what is the point of all this

So after KBCS and KBCW spent so long talking about astral projection, ghosts, dreams, fusions, etc etc. they never actually got to the point - just pointed us in the direction of a bunch of clues that 

Rose Quartz isn’t gone.

Obviously. She’s in his gem in him, like Lapis and the mirror, or the lighthouse gem. She uses astral projection to help Steven in his dreams as well as see him in Rose’s room, like other fusions speak in the mindscape. (There’s a lot more to this but this is enough to ask anyone to wrap their head around atm) 

She also interacts with him through other bodies, the same way Steven takes over Lars’ body, or the Watermelon Stevens. 

Remember this?

We, here at Keep Beach City Safe, thought that Steven would’ve liked to have his mom at his birthday party.

Who came to Steven’s birthday in which Connie points out that Dogcopter constellation?

Who gave Steven advice when he wished he could talk to his mom?

Who showed Steven where to find the tape?

Who else could have asked Steven, “What do you want” in Susan Egan’s voice? 

(Why did they choose to hire Susan Egan to voice a cameo in Under the Knife in the first few seconds of Fusion Cuisine, where she says “It’s my son!” while Lion is onscreen)

Or reassured him that Rose’s tape was telling him the truth?

Who first brought him to Pink Diamond’s moon base?

Who knew where Rose’s armory was and how to train with it? (Note the giant penny)

Who showed Steven the location of Pink’s fallen palanquin?

Who found Rose’s lost scabbard?

and knew where Pearl would run to when she’s upset?

Who (reluctantly) brought Steven to the landfill and Pink Diamond’s ship?

Who showed him how to find Malachite?

Twice?

Who showed him how Pink Diamond tried to stop the Earth’s colonization, and who to ask for the truth?

Who tried to entertain him on Mask Island when he was trapped on Homeworld?

And then rescued him from the open sea?

Who showed Stevonnie the password to Yellow Diamond’s moon base?

Much like Koala Princess’ vision in the Eucalyptus Jungle in Season 5, Episode 13 what you saw on the Boardwalk the other day was not what it seemed. 

So yeah Rose is Lion 2020. Thanks for reading this extremely long nonsense.

Also thanks to @babybeetlebongos​ for both mindscape lore and fixing Ronaldo’s cheek in the banner image, lol. I made a Twitter thread about this as well (and the more in depth Lion and astral projection theory threads are quoted at the top, if you need them. the #mindscape deeplore 2020 tag/tags on this post have stuff too.)

[unearthcd]

kristine froseth, cis woman + she/her | you know august james pettersen, right? they’re 25, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, eighteen years? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to all these things i’ve done by the killers like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole handwritten notes, messy ponytails, spontaneous midnight excursions thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is january 1, so they’re a capricorn, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( tessa, 24, pst, she/her )

hey, babes! i’m tessa (24, pst, she/her) and i’ve been rp’ing on this blue website for way too many years. i’m stuck in this wonderful gossamer and wouldn’t have it any other way. anyway, below is august’s bio—she’s a newish muse, so i’m running with the vibe (for lack of a better word) and we’ll see how this goes! always feel free to message me to plot or chat here or on discord (swamp rabbit#1745). okay, let’s do the damn thing!

name: august james pettersen nicknames: aj, aug, a, james, etc. age, birth date: 25; january 1, 1996 hometown: irving, north carolina occupation: model sexuality: pansexual

growing up in irving

august james petterson is the daughter and only child of jameson and erik petterson. she’s the product of surrogacy, the men having sought out and found a lovely woman to help them have a child back in massachusetts where they previously lived. the hoops they went through to have their daughter and both legally be considered her parents were plenty, but with successful careers in architecture and publishing (think founder and editor and chief of something architectural digest-esque) they were able to commit the time and money to make it happen.

not a year after her birth, the three of them relocated to irving, north carolina to be with two of her grandparents whose health was rapidly deteriorating. having packed up their things and taken the short flight, they piled into the elderly couple’s sprawling home on aquila drive. ah, old money. sadly, they’d end up passing a few short years later, just before august started school. the family inherited great wealth and was left the house.

always a fairly quiet kid, august wasn’t the most social student in school. in fact, she spent much of her time with a small group of friends and, after branching out a small bit in high school, in the theatre department. long story short, she wasn’t a very popular person. in fact, with her apparent wealth and quiet demeanor, it wouldn’t surprise me if she was considered aloof, stuck up, or strange by her peers (but i’ll leave that UTY if they attended school together!). in earnest, she was just an observer and never enjoyed talking just to make noise. she liked having an intimate group and just doing what she enjoyed.

at the same time, the lack of a bursting social life and hijinks à la grease and clueless fed her early onset senioritis. she dreamed of and planned for getting out of irving. and when the time for college came, she did!

leaving home

we’d like to congratulate the senior class of 2014! that fall august moved to—drumroll please—new york city for college. what can i say, she’s an east coast babe. she got into NYU and studied english, thinking maybe she’d get into publishing down the line, because she’d always loved reading. truth be told, she wasn’t married to the idea. in fact, she wasn’t married to her education in the slightest. she’d chosen NYU purely based on location and, honestly, who can blame her (’:

her sophomore year of university one of her friends got it in her head to attend a modeling agency open call and, not wanting to go alone, convinced august to go along. while they weren’t interested in the friend, they did take an interest in her. and you know what? it made her feel special and wanted and admired. so she went with it and, with practice, became pretty damn good. her jobs, however, started interfering with her studies. so, without much convincing, she dropped out of school. she was making enough money to rent an apartment with a couple roommates in the village and made modeling her full-time gig. over the next few years her career began to take off a bit, with clients like for love & lemons and victoria’s secret pink (bc we have the real content, so why not use it?). probably a beauty campaign here and there. you know, commercial work etc. etc.

cue “dorothea,” you'rе a queen sellin' dreams, sellin' makeup and magazines

quiet, small town girl is on her way to making it big! whoo! right? well, there came a point where she became a total workhorse. august wanted to please—she wanted to find her place, her people—and, convinced this was it, she did everything in her power to keep moving up. she was a stray cat, she was looking to be taken in by anyone, praised and cared for for anything.

but that isn’t sustainable, and after a while she cracked a bit. ended up letting off steam by partying with so-called friends, picked up a small smoking habit she’s since been trying to kick since. befriended a band at some point (shout out to beau) and groupied the east coast leg of their tour for a couple weeks, because the front man asked and was charming and looked at her like she was exceptional. then the magic faded and she left to go back to her little apartment and next booked job. really, she was just going where she felt people wanted her and everyone kept telling her it was great! everything’s fine!

coming back // present

she realized after that that she’d fallen into this entire thing and, while she was grateful for much of it, she had to wonder if she even liked it. it really hit her one day smack in the middle of a job. that evening she went home, once again packed up her things, and flew home. a special kind of subtle chaos. a not-at-all-adventurous eat, pray, love.

i want to say her agents aren’t the worst people in the world and, while angered by her abrupt departure, realized she needed a break. like, a month-long visit home. it was the holidays and her birthday, after all! lol, oh, no. bets on when they start calling her like, ‘hey, where the hell are you, what’s the deal’?

now, after dropping out of school and putting her career on pause (?), she’s back living with her parents, probably looking at her savings account and wondering if she has enough $$$$ to rent an apartment or room [potential connection idea?] until she decides wtf she’s doing. she’s stuck between feeling like she’s backsliding and feeling like she needs to take the time to figure out what she wants.

personality // fun facts

+ lively, spontaneous, passionate, humorous (or so she likes to think)

- lost, impulsive, insecure in many ways

tiktoks for the vibe: 1, 2, 3

being an adult is a scam

*calls u dude and babe in the same sentence*

she wasn’t bored, she was just restless between adventures

the first person to laugh at herself.

let’s-screw-around-and-talk-about-nothing-for-hours-until-it-inevitably-turns-into-something-deep.

“i always feel like, when i meet people, they have a bigger impact on me than i maybe do on them.”

very honest. the girl isn’t messing around (unless she totally is)!! will ask you out as soon as the thought occurs to her, like, “hey, uh, we should go out sometime. (:” :slight_smile:

very, very dreamy, but head not empty, head filled with the same bit of film dialogue on repeat over and over for, like, a week. head still processing the end of a book she finished two weeks ago. head making up prose about the faint freckles on the bridge of your nose and the way your hand’s moving about.

big music person, be it modern, classical, live, vinyl. attaches a lot of emotions and memories to songs. 98% chance you’ll find her at the nearest bar hosting live music, right up front.

her penmanship is beautiful, thanks to a love of the written word. she’d rather stick a post-it note on your door than shoot you a text. loves letters, postcards, etc.

does want to whisk you away on fun, spontaneous adventures, but will go by herself if for whatever reason you’re not available or up for it.