#i read a book yesterday where i was crazy about the characters' relationship

[justthatspiffy]

so anyway here's a near incoherent book review

so i was an arc reader and i really thought it would be bad but it wasn't bad and that was a good surprise

the gifted heart by tiffany davis if you're interested

i would recommend it kind of if only because it couldn't hold my attention and i stopped reading about halfway through but i kind of want to know what happens

cool cool worldbuilding, very setting-immersive, magic system i haven't seen before (tbh one reason i cannot pay attention this little brain does not want to hold new magic systems)

its biggest flaw was i could not connect to the characters at all. i think the writing ended up more descriptive than experiential, like we did get narration on what our protag was feeling but it was so surface that either she's the flattest character in the world or we didn't get enough info. thus the romance comes off as severe internalized heteronormativity ("wow the only boy i've met who's my age, we get along" and narratively i think he was framed as a love interest but she's. literally not into him. the other guy initially is older than her which can be like exciting enticing, but it's all flat flat flat. then the other other guy is the king i guess but at that point i was too tired)

i think there's something also with the pacing, like with that lack of digging into relationality things just keep happening. event event event with little protag commentary sprinkled in give us some time show us she is wringing her hands she is sweating she is having nightmares because her whole community got slaughtered while she was away gathering herbs idk man it's. oop the knights came gotta go.

the other thing that kills me is this sort of interesting spiritscape and she's talking to the dead and controlling the pseudo-damned dead, but what could be a really unique expanse just gets hard shoved into a christian framework of "good people go to the blessed, bad people become lost" and the lost float around like shell ghosties or whatever. i love shell ghosties but i feel like i missed some lore or there's a weird thing happening here. what a way to be damned. and the way the characters talk about their fantasy religion is just. light christian "jesusfigure gives us gifts and he's guiding our paths"

i mentioned the protag feels very flat, and we're not getting deep gritty inner conflict from her (she's warranted a little more external interpersonal conflict too) and i'm like. is she a mary sue? but then her little friend learns he has the controlling planets and elements magic so whammo. surprise subtle misogyny. she's like helping him but it's weird that you're like "is the protag op" and then the author swoops in like "watch her male friend be so much more op"

[livlocus]

thoughts on killer instinct by jennifer lynn barnes

omg so this was a wild book !! it was so entertaining, and i think that i enjoyed the writing in this book more than the writing in the naturals.

overall i rated it 3.75 stars just because some of the characters were just a wee bit annoying.

spoilers under the cut, warning for all of the random things that i remembered and spewed out about the book lol

this was so entertaining i never wanted this book to stop omg

all of the dean and michael stuff was kind of annoying because i kind of always assumed that cassie would end up with dean anyway

like the entire time cassie is seeking out dean, an dean reciprocates in his own ways, he was really going through a lot in this book so you could tell it was hard for him to let anyone else in to his life

michael on the other hand, was the one seeking cassie out, mostly to vex dean

or at least thats the impression that i got from michael

i think that michael is a pretty fun character, but i dont think that he was ever going to end up with cassie

i really enjoyed meeting sterling, her character is so cool, i liked seeing her development throughout the book

like the whole scene where sterling is trying to take the keys to michaels car away from him is so funny

like "keys."

"spatual... we aren't just saying random nouns?"

THAT WAS TOO GOOD

i need to know more about lia and sloane yesterday

like i need to know so much about them, i need to have read the third book asap

the entire plot of this book was crazy

like the fact that redding orchestrated this from prison and there were THREE unsubs??? it was crazy and pretty cool

lia, michael and cassie going to the college party to talk to people about emerson's murder was such a needed event to happen

TA GEOFFERY WAS SUCH A CRAZY CHARACTER

AS SOMEONE WHO IS IN COLLEGE RN I HAVE MET SO MANY TA GEOFFERYS HOW DID JLB CAPTURE THAT PERSONA SO WELL

learning about sterling and briggs was so interesting

AFTER THE FIRST PRISON VISIT I WAS SO SUSPICIOUS OF THE THE GUARD AFTER HE HAD A LITTLE POWER TRIP WITH STERLING AND CASSIE I WISH THAT I HAD PUT A NOTE IN MY KINDLE WHEN I WAS READING

that way i can prove that i was thinking that before it was revealed and not be one of those "it was obvious" people who say that after it's been revealed haha

i need to know more about judd's daughter right now

like what do you mean nightshade??

like clark being one of the unsubs was kind of sad, like when they were speculating about him, i initially thought that it was a red herring

i think that showing the weird relationship that some women have with serial killers in prison was very eerie

the way that the simms house was described, like all of the figurines and pictures, so so eerie

webber was such a messed up unsub

like jeeeeze it was kind of intense

CAN WE ALL TAKE A MOMENT TO APPRECIATE HOW BAD ASS CASSIE IS???

NOT ONLY DID SHE THROW A ROCK AND ACTUALLY HIT WEBBER SHE THEN JUMPED ON TOP OF HIM DIRECTLY FROM THE TREE

like that was amazing

also her scheming with the gps ankle monitor was AMAZING

like dude i really like sterling and i LOVED how sterling and cassie bonded in this book

is it bad of me to want sterling and briggs to get back together...?

im excited to see how the characters are now that there isnt this back and forth from michael to dean to micheal back to dean so hopefully lia will not feel the need to get all up in cassies face about dean...?

i already said this, but omg i NEED to know more about lia, she is such an interesting character, i need more moments with lia that arent just her freaking out to cassie about dean

also the fact that cassie didnt think that sloane would be upset about them not inviting her to sneak out was so sad

like been there done that, sloane you have my heart

I NEED THE THIRD BOOK RN

WAITING FOR LIBBY TO HAVE AN AVAILABLE COPY FOR ME TO BORROW

[electronickingdomfox]

"Time for Yesterday" review

Novel from 1988, by A. C. Crispin. It's a direct sequel to "Yesterday's Son", where Spock found out about his son Zar (born from his relationship with Zarabeth), and brought him to the Enterprise. This time, the Kirk/Spock/McCoy trio bring Zar again to the present, to help with a malfunction in the Guardian of Forever that is wreaking havoc all over the galaxy. While Zar has to deal with his own problems at home, as ruler of one of Sarpeidon's nations in the midst of impending war, and faces his own mortality in the process... Someone give this poor guy a break!

It's a slow-paced yet entertaining adventure, focused on the father-son relationship between Spock and Zar (which in turn, serves to explore Kirk's relationship with David at times; appropiately, since the setting is right before The Wrath of Khan). Spock's attitude towards his son is much changed since the previous book, and he has achieved a better balance with his emotions and a warmer personality, kinda as the Spock from the movies. The other characters are also given enough depth, specially Zar and his wife Wynn. And there's also emphasis on the bond between Kirk, Spock and McCoy, with situations between the three that ring true to the series. The parts about the war in Sarpeidon, with their vaguely Middle Ages flavor, may clash a bit with the parts set in the present, around the Guardian's subplot. Sometimes I found myself thinking "Am I still reading a Star Trek novel or something else?" But anyway, they never get boring, and there's an encomiable effort to shape up the history and culture of Sarpeidon, compared with the minimal info from the episode. On the other hand, the business with the Guardian is pretty intriguing (even if rather short compared to the length of the novel), and we get to see at last its mysterious creators! The weakest element is perhaps the romance between Zar and Wynn. Not because I don't think they make a great couple (they do), but because it happens way too fast (though that's partially explained by their empathetic bond), and the writing wanders sometimes into romance novel territory.

All in all, I found this story both exciting and emotive, and a worthy sequel to the also nice "Yesterday's Son".

By the way, I have no idea who's supposed to be the hunky warrior of that cover; that's certainly not Zar! Also important detail: McCoy does the "how many fingers I'm holding up" test with a recovering Zar. Only that he's showing him just a middle-finger (ah! the maturity of old age!). Spoilers under the cut:

The Guardian of Forever is causing trouble, by emitting time waves that accelerate aging for any object they catch in their path. Several stars have gone nova in a matter of days this way, destroying at least one inhabited planet and a couple of starships. Therefore, Starfleet brings Kirk out of his boring desk job as Admiral, and orders him to go get Spock and Bones and travel to the Guardian (funny how the top brass is aware that Kirk can't function without those two).

After rescuing McCoy from one of those time waves, they arrive at Gateway (the planet of the Guardian), with an alien telepath called D'berahan in tow. She belongs to a race of highly telepathic beings, and they hope that she'll be able to communicate with the Guardian, who doesn't respond anymore to normal commands. However, D'berahan suffers a great shock while melding with the Guardian, and is left unconscious.

Spock, naturally, does the logical crazy thing, and disobeying orders, attempts a mind-meld himself with the Guardian, that had just fried one brain. His lesser telepathic abilities protect him from the full mental assault, but he gets glimpses of the Guardian's turmoil. Apparently, its higher mind is searching desperately for something all over the galaxy. And only its most basic, mechanical functions are still reachable. But at least, Spock manages to set these functions to work again and allow time-travel. He has decided to go find Zar again in the past, since he's the only one who successfully melded with the Guardian (in the last book). Spock has reviewed Sarpeidon's history, witnessing the moment of Zar's death in battle. So they choose a few days before his death to bring him to the present, as it wouldn't make a big difference whether he dies or just disappears.

Kirk, Spock and McCoy travel thus to Sarpeidon, dressed as natives. And of course, they're soon captured by one of the warring tribes of that era, the Danreg, commanded by High Priestess Wynn. They're left tied to a pole to freeze during the night. But just then, another tribe attacks their camp, and kidnaps both Wynn and the Enterprise officers (believing them spies). Soon thereafter there's much embarrassment among the raiders, once they realize they've captured their lord's dad and his friends. The "Sovren" Zar (now the ruler of that tribe: the Lakreo) welcomes them in his palace, and has an emotive reunion with his father Spock (and his mom McCoy). But he's not very eager about the idea of going to the future, even if his death is nearby. Zar is too involved in the politics of his land, and won't leave before the battle. There are three other nations planning to attack the Lakreo valley soon: the Danreg, the Kerren and the Asyri. So Zar kidnapped Wynn to propose a marriage alliance to her, hoping to gain the support of the Danreg at least.

Wynn accepts the deal, as she would rule in the Lakreo if they defeat the invaders. And even if at first it's just a marriage of convenience, she and Zar end up falling in love once they sense how much in common they have. Wynn has empathetic and prophetic abilites similar to those of Zar, and she senses his good will and noble nature. Then Wynn urges him to go with Spock, as she has a foreboding that this will be necessary for him to survive the battle. Not very convinced, Zar decides to travel to the future nonetheless.

Once in front of the Guardian, Zar is successful in his attempt at communication with it. He then learns that the Guardian is searching all over the galaxy for the native planet of its creators: the so-called Originators. This search has rendered it neglectful of its duties, and the Guardian was emitting those time waves because of its distraction. Zar manages to reason with it, and finally, the Guardian recovers its normal personality and stops messing around. But right then, the Originators erupt from the Guardian's portal. They're beings of dangerous and inimaginable power, and take the forms of several people from their pasts, to torment Spock, Zar, Kirk and McCoy. They start arguing among themselves, discussing their plans to get back to their planet, now that they've grown weary and old. And even suggest to hijack the Enterprise to make their travel easier. After much discussion, Kirk and the others manage to appeal to their better natures, and convince them of the damage they'd do if they stayed in that universe. Most of them return to their plane, but two have become so deranged and evil after so many millions of years, that they attack the group. In the end, everyone links together in a mind-meld with the Guardian, and joins forces to defeat these Originators too. This part about the Originators is the most sci-fi styled in the novel, though it also serves to explore the phantoms of the protagonists' pasts. It has also some curious parallelisms with the end of The Final Frontier.

After this, Zar stays for a few weeks aboard the Enterprise. A time he spends healing an old wound that made him limp, bringing D'berahan out of her coma, and relaxing in general. But no matter how much Spock and McCoy plead for him to stay in the present, where he'll be safe, Zar is determined to return with Wynn and fight his last battle. What will Spock do about this? Well, you can be assured it's something risky and against orders…

McSpirk Meter: 9/10. I could separate the dynamics, but this is rather a triumvirate novel, and it makes more sense to analyze it that way. At first, Kirk is missing his friends a lot as an Admiral. He thinks about how teaching at the Academy will let him see Spock more often. Kirk also has a very emotional reaction when he sees McCoy again, after believing he could be dead, and embraces him so much that Spock just wants to leave them alone. Later, when Spock is in shock after trying to save D'berahan through a mind-meld, Kirk says " I-we- can't lose Spock" (in parallelism with the first novel's "I-we- need him"). The three of them take care of each other throughout the story, comforting whoever is worried at the time. While tied outside the enemy camp, Spock comments how they could share body warmth if they were closer together, and Kirk and Spock watch over McCoy so he doesn't fall asleep and freezes. McCoy, apparently, can also recognize Kirk by his snoring alone, in a dark cell and without knowing who are the other prisoners (which is… eyebrow raising; maybe they're used to share body warmth after all). And then, there are Spock's "affectionate looks". First at McCoy, when the doctor tries to protect Spock's honor by disguising his relationship with Zar. And later at Kirk, when he jokes about enjoying being lazy. While confronting the Originators, it's Kirk and McCoy joining the mind-meld which gives Spock the final surge of power that he needs. And just as happened in the last book, McCoy acts as Zar's "other dad", alongside Spock. In general, the three of them are very close and affectionate towards each other, which is another similitude with the fifth film (also, Spock having a secret relative!? Hmmm…).

[fervidgrey]

Heavy in Your Arms

Disclaimers

Notes: This fic is Togame Jo-centric, not a huge fan of Choji so fans beware- Choji stays crazy, there will be original characters sprinkled in as needed, MC is on the thicker side (i've left this open to interpretation) Jo is nearly 200lbs he can handle some thicc thighs.

Fic wide TW: Aged Up Characters, No Characters Below 18,  No Use of Y/N, Reader’s Body is MOSTLY Open to Interpretation- but leans thicc, Unhealthy Coping Skills, People Pleaser- Reader Has Some Spine, Established Family Dynamics, Unhealthy Relationship, Praise Kink, Light BDSM, Voyeurism ,Dead Dove: Read Warnings!, Graphic Depictions of Gang Violence,  Sexual Content, Sexual Assault, Drug Use, Threats of Vilolence, Graphic Depictions of Torture, Xenophobia, Mentions of Drugs, Graphic Depictions of Drug Use, AU- Cannon Divergence,

Please do not read if this would harm you in any way, your mental health comes first!

Book: Heavy in Your Arms

Chapter: 2, My beloved was weighed down

Chapter TW: mild spicy content

Word Count: 6600~

You startled awake, had someone knocked?  A confusing haze had you questioning if you were still sleeping. A hard blink cleared some fog long enough to realize you must have dozed off while studying. The afternoon sun streamed through your window, casting long shadows across your room. A knock filled your room. 

"Come in," you called, quickly smoothing your hair and straightening your clothes from yesterday.

Auntie poked her head in, her expression irritated. She did not care for your sleeping in on Saturdays but you had won that argument in the first month, thankfully. 

"There's a young man here to see you," she said, her tone filled with suspicion. Your heart skipped a beat. Togame. You had almost forgotten about his promise to retrieve his jacket.

"Thank you, Auntie. I'll be right out!" Changing was now out of the question, he was already waiting. You hurried to the entryway, catching a glimpse of yourself in the hallway mirror. Hair messy and there were creases on your cheek from where you'd been sleeping on a textbook. Quickly, you ran your fingers through your hair and then sighed, there was nothing to be done. 

As you rounded the corner of the genkan, you saw Togame inspecting his phone while looking impossibly cool and collected. His eyes lit up upon seeing you, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth as he casually waved. 

"Hey, sleeping beauty," he quipped, noticing the mark on your face. 

"Hi, sorry, I was studying and must have dozed off." Embarrassment seemed to be your new equilibrium. 

Togame chuckled. "Did I wake you?" A head shake was all you could muster, suddenly feeling very aware of your rumpled appearance compared to his impeccable one.

 "No, I mean sorta, but it's fine. Sorry, let me get your jacket!" As you turned to retrieve it, you felt his eyes on you, making your skin tingle. You paused mid-step thinking about his presence, you honestly didn’t want him to leave right away. Couldn't hurt to keep him around for a bit. 

“Do you want to come in?” It was bold and his expression seemed to reflect that. He tilted his head thinking about what you had said for a few moments. 

“Sure auntie would like that?” That hadn't dawned on you and he was right, but you were clever.

“I am sure she would be grateful for the kindness you showed me last night.” Not much changed about his expression but he nodded nonetheless and followed you inside, slipping his shoes off and grabbing the house slippers. 

“Who was-” Your aunt paused in the middle of speaking, staring hard at the stranger in her house and you- her seemingly dense niece. 

“Auntie this is Togame-san, he helped me last night when a drunk man bumped into me and our groceries spilled everywhere.” The lie tumbled from your mouth far too fast, far too convincing. The realization dawned that you never got his first name, and didn’t even know his age, but san seemed safe. She looked from you to him again and nodded, giving a curt bow. 

“Thank you for helping my niece.” It was a short but polite interaction as Togame bowed back, not correcting your lie with anything other than a knowing smile at you. A blush crept across your face. Was he this flirty with everyone or just you? 

Togame's charm seemed to work its magic on Aunt Yuuko as well. Within minutes, he had her smiling and nodding along to his polite small talk. You watched in amazement as your usually stern aunt actually laughed at one of his jokes. A spike of jealousy filtered through you, how was it easy for him to make her laugh? 

"Would you like some tea, Togame-san?" Aunt Yuuko asked, already moving towards the kitchen.

"That would be lovely, thank you," Togame replied with a gracious nod.

As your aunt busied herself in the kitchen, Togame turned his attention back to you. His eyes roamed over your face, lingering on your lips before meeting your gaze.

"So, studying hard?" he asked, gesturing to the textbook imprint slowly fading on your cheek. 

You nodded, suddenly feeling self-conscious. "Yeah, I have a big exam coming up. I'm trying to keep up with my online classes while I'm here."

Togame leaned in slightly, his voice soothing. "Must be tough, balancing studies and family obligations. Keep it up."

His compliment sent a flutter through your stomach. With perfect timeing Aunt Yuuko returned with a tray of tea. As you all settled around the table, you couldn't help but notice how Togame positioned himself close to you, his knee brushing against yours. You made a mental note that flirting must be his favorite pastime.

"So, Togame-san," Auntie said as she poured, "what do you do for work?" You tensed, realizing you knew nothing about this man. Togame, however, didn't miss a beat.

"I work in business consulting," he said smoothly. "Helping companies streamline their operations."

Auntie nodded approvingly. "Very respectable. And how did you meet my niece again?" Her eyes flickered from him to you, as if warning you she didn’t fully believe your tale from earlier. 

Togame's eyes met you for just a moment before he responded. "As she mentioned, I helped her with some spilled groceries yesterday. It was lucky I happened to be passing by.” You nodded along, silently grateful he was sticking to your fabricated story.

"That was very lucky," Aunt Yuuko said. "It's good to know there are still helpful young men in this neighborhood." Her smile seemed tighter than before but she didn’t say anything more about the fated meeting of you two. 

As the conversation continued, you found yourself relaxing. Togame expertly navigated your aunt's probing questions, his responses were always polite and measured. As a bonus your Auntie gave you much-needed answers, his first name is Jo! Togame Jo had a lovely ring to it. Plus his age was helpful, he was 25 only a few years older than you. You watched him chat with your aunt marveling at how easily he fit into this domestic scene, as if he belonged here. But a flash of orange entered your mind reminding you this was all for show, he did not fit into this scene. This was an act. 

When the tea was finished, Aunt Yuuko excused herself to rest, leaving you alone with Togame. You had expected him to flirt instantly but instead a silence fell between you. Your thumbs twirling together as you looked around the room. 

"So," Togame said, his voice low. "About my jacket..." You jumped up face tomato red, suddenly remembering the reason for his visit.

 "Oh, right! I'll go get it." You hurried to retrieve the jacket from your room, mind racing. What would happen once you returned it? Would he leave right away?

When you came back, Togame was standing by the window, arms folded as he gazed out at the street below. He turned as you approached, a small smile displayed for you.

"Here you go," you said, holding out the jacket. "Thanks again for lending it to me."

Togame took it, his fingers brushing against yours for a brief moment. 

"My pleasure," he murmured, his eyes locked on yours. For a moment, neither of you moved. The air between you felt charged, electric. Togame took a step closer, still holding the jacket.

"You know," he said slowly, "There are some great local spots I think you'd enjoy." Could he hear your heart beating? An invitation did not seem likely when he first stopped by but here he was, inviting you out. But an air of caution would be wise, you barely knew this man, after all.

"That sounds nice," you replied, folding immediately. "But I'm not sure my aunt would approve of me going out with someone she just met."

Togame's smile widened. "Ah, but she seemed to like me, didn't she? And I'm sure she wants you to make friends while you're here." He was slick, something to note for later. 

You bit your lip, considering the invite. He had a point - Auntie had warmed to him surprisingly quick. After a moment of silence you nodded with a sheepish smile. You really could use a friend but you’d wouldn’t be fooled to think that was all he wanted. You didn’t miss his flirty tone, and small touches when auntie was not paying attention. 

“Are you free tonight?” You asked a bit quickly. Would it come off as desperate? You felt a sting in your eyes as loneliness washed over you, thankful when no tears spilled over. Perhaps you were desperate for connection, more than you realized.

“After four would work for me,” He seemed to be staring at your eyes with intrigue, something caught his attention. No way he would notice your crybaby thoughts. You blink hard for a second then fluttered the water away. 

“That’s perfect, I’ll make auntie’s food then be ready.” you pause thinking about how to proceed. “Uh, are you meeting me here? Or should I meet you somewhere?” 

“I’ll be here.” You nodded in response then led Togame to the door, a mixture of excitement and nervousness pooled in your stomach. You couldn't help but wonder what the evening would bring. Friendship? A relationship?! You took a deep breath, calming yourself. He didn’t even call it a date, you needed to relax. 

"I'll see you at four then," Togame said, slipping on his shoes. He paused, hand on the doorknob, and turned to face you. "Wear something cute." His smile was brimming with mischief.

You nodded, a blush taking over your cheeks. "Okay. See you soon."

As the door closed behind him, you leaned against it, heart racing. What had you gotten yourself into? Was this a date? Surely he would have called it a date, right? 

The next few hours passed in a blur. You prepared Auntie's dinner, your mind elsewhere as you chopped vegetables and stirred pots. When you told her about your plans for the evening, she surprisingly didn't object, only reminding you not to stay out too late. 

As you finished folding the laundry you peeked at the clock on the wall. It was 3:30! Your mind began to race while you muttered expletives in English. Time management was among your weakest skills. Within seconds you were in your closet digging around, ripping clothes from their hangers. A date is nothing you had ever planned on doing in Japan. Wait, it wasn’t a date.

After a few minutes, you settled down looking at your sage green knit dress in the mirror. It was flattering to your plump figure, a golden belt at the waist making your hips stand out all the more. Normally you’d pair camel-colored boots with this dress but they hadn’t fit in the suitcase. Ballerina flats would have to do, even though they didn’t match your bag or belt. An aggravated sigh left your lips as you tore off the belt and grabbed a clutch that matched your shoes. You looked more relaxed but overall the outfit was still cute. 

Thankfully your makeup was quick. A simple lip gloss and eyeliner to frame your eyes. You hovered over the glitter puff but decided against it. Glitter was highly controversial with some men, though Togame did not seem like the type to mind your preferences. Still, you skipped the glitter for now. A knock at the door was your notice of the clock turning to 4 pm. How did time move so fast?

Your heart raced as you hurried to answer the door. Taking a deep breath, you smoothed your dress and opened it with what you hoped was a casual smile. Togame stood in the entrance looking effortlessly handsome in his jersey and samue. His eyes widened slightly as he took in your appearance, a slow smile spreading across his face.

"You look great," he said, his voice low and appreciative. Your cheeks warm at the compliment, enjoying his flattery. 

"Thank you. You look nice too." He chuckled but didn’t correct you on his casual attire.

He offered his arm. "Ready?" A smile graced your face as you hooked into his arm taking a moment to look him over. His black hair looked fantastic pulled back, but did elicit a giggle in your mind over the word mullet. 

It did not take long to notice the curious glances from passersby, even shopkeepers stopped for a moment while you both passed. Togame seemed oblivious, or perhaps simply unbothered, his attention focused solely on you.

"So, where are we going?" you asked, trying to keep your voice steady despite the nervous flutter in your stomach. He tilted his head in thought, face not giving away his intentions for the evening.

“We’ll be there shortly.” Getting information out of him did not seem like it would ever be easy.

As you walked arm-in-arm with Togame, the streets of Makochi took on a different character. The familiar shops and houses seemed imbued with a new energy as if the city itself was holding its breath in anticipation of the night.

Togame led you down a narrow side street, away from the main thoroughfare. The noise of traffic faded, replaced by the soft murmur of conversation and the occasional burst of laughter from hidden courtyards.

"Almost there," Togame said, giving your arm a gentle squeeze. You nodded, trying to quell the butterflies in your stomach.

Finally, he stopped in front of an unassuming wooden door. No sign indicated what lay beyond, just a small lantern casting a warm glow. Togame knocked twice, then waited.

After a moment, the door slid open, revealing a dimly lit interior. An older man in a familiar orange jersey nodded, moving aside for you both. The atmosphere was incredible, everything reminded you of an American speakeasy. There was an abundance of wood framing the bar and leather seating all around. The music was soft in the background matching the lighting perfectly. It also smelled heavenly.

Togame led you deeper inside, his hand resting lightly on the small of your back. The intimacy of his touch sent a throb down your body. As your eyes adjusted to the dim light, you took in the cozy interior. The bar was lined with gleaming bottles, and intimate booths dotting the perimeter. The air was thick with the scent of incense and something spicy cooking.

"What do you think?" Togame asked, bending down, his breath tickling your ear.

"It's beautiful," you replied, unable to keep the awe from your voice. "I've never been anywhere like this in Makochi."

He chuckled. "Most people don't know about it. It's members-only."

You raised an eyebrow. "And you're a member?"

"Something like that," He smiled, clearly pleased by your reaction.

 "I thought you might appreciate something a bit more... authentic." You pondered on his choice of the word authentic considering only people with the emblem on his back seemed to be here but didn’t check him on it. 

A hostess approached, bowing deeply to Togame before leading you to a secluded booth in the corner. As you slid onto the plush leather seat, you couldn't help but notice how the other patrons seemed to regard Togame with a mixture of impassiveness, and fear.

With great effort you pushed aside the rest of your unease, focusing instead on the intimate atmosphere of the booth. Everything was clean, and beautifully detailed with black and gold. Togame slid in next to you, his thigh pressing against yours in the small space. As if instinctual you looked down at his leg but couldn’t find a single word of protest in your throat. 

"So," he said, his voice soft and relaxed, "what do you like to drink?" What did you like drinking? Your face must have been of great bewilderment because the smile on his face was ginormous, white teeth flashing you. 

The waiter appeared to save you from the wolf and his questions. They bowed deeply to Togame, no eye contact to be seen. You were not dim despite your aunt’s thoughts to the contrary. It was clear Togame Jo was no mere grunt in his organization.

"The usual, sir?" The waiter asked, looking straight down.

Togame nodded, then looked at you expectantly. You hesitated, unsure what to order in such an unfamiliar place.

"Um, maybe just a glass of plum wine?" you ventured, hoping they would have sweet wine.

The waiter nodded and disappeared before you could thank them. Togame turned to you, smiling as normal.

"Good choice. They make their own here - it's excellent." The unease in your gut vanished as he complimented your choice. He was far too good at getting your guard down. While waiting on the drinks, Togame asked about your studies. He seemed genuinely interested in your coursework, and future plans. You found yourself completely relaxed as you talked, his attentiveness drawing you out of your shell.

"It must be challenging, balancing your studies with caring for your aunt every day." he mused, his dark green eyes studying your face.

You nodded, surprised by his perceptiveness. "It can be. But I'm grateful for the opportunity to spend time with a family I barely see."

Togame's hand found yours on the table, his thumb tracing small circles on your skin. The sudden gesture nearly sends you running for the door. He was so forward, and it was starting to make you feel nervous with his pace. You were not sure how much of yourself was up for grabs tonight. 

"You're impressive," he said softly. "Most would find it overwhelming."

The waiter interrupted (small favors) once again,  returning with your drinks. Togame raised his glass, inspecting the deep amber whirlpool he creatured. As he swirled you used the moment to move your hand. You did find him attractive, you weren’t blind. He was being a gentleman (mostly) but something was bothering you.

"It definitely is, considering I haven’t been here since I was 8." You smiled and took a sip of the plum wine, savoring its sweet, complex flavor. Warmth rushed through your body the moment the wine hit your tongue, a soft warning in the back of your mind told you to drink slowly.

“You made it back, that is all that matters.” Togame raised his glass and then took a long gulp. You watched his throat bob up and down, somehow making you swallow as well. He was unbelievably hot. 

As the evening progressed, you found yourself caught between conflicting emotions. On one hand, Togame was attentive and seemed genuinely interested in you. His wit made for engaging and frankly hilarious conversation, and you couldn't deny the spark of attraction you felt. However, the unease was unshakeable. The way others in the bar deferred to him, the hints of a darker world just beneath the surface – it all made you acutely aware of how little you truly knew about this man.

Mid-sentence Togame leaned in closer, his hand finding its way to your knee under the table, you tensed slightly. His touch was warm, inviting, but also presumptuous.

You shifted in your seat, subtly moving your leg away from Togame's touch. His eyebrows raised slightly, but he didn't comment on your withdrawal. Instead, he leaned back, giving you some space.

"Everything alright?" he asked with an even but empty tone. You took a deep breath, weighing your words carefully. 

"Togame, I... I'm enjoying our time together, but I feel like there's a lot I don't know about you. About this place, and the people here."

His expression remained neutral, but you noticed a slight tightening around his eyes. "What would you like to know?" His arm moved back, leaning against the back of the booth as he watched you, waiting. 

"Well, for starters, what exactly do you do?"

His silence dragged on for a few moments, his fingers tracing the rim of his glass. When he spoke, his voice was measured just as it was with your aunt.

“I didn’t lie earlier, I help companies streamline their operations." He thumbed his glass fully aware that was not a true answer either, and that you picked up on it.

"I see," you said, your doubt filling the air. "And the orange jerseys? The way everyone here treats you?"

Togame's eyes met yours, intense and unreadable. "I'm part of an organization that... facilitates business in this area. We ensure things run smoothly."

Your stomach tightened as the implications of his words sank in. You were well aware of such groups, but never imagined you'd be sitting across from someone involved in them.

"So, you're yakuza," you said quietly, not looking to draw attention to your booth. 

Togame didn't flinch at the word. He simply nodded, his gaze never leaving yours. "Does that frighten you?" His fingers continued to play with the glass in his hands, the only sign of discomfort you could pick up on. 

You paused, considering what he just said. The rational part of your brain screamed danger, urging you to leave immediately, but you didn't. Auntie did often say you were dense. 

“It's unsettling, but I am not scared of you.” Maybe you were a tiny bit scared, but he was not going to know that. His body posture shifted forward, full of intrigue at your response.

"Perhaps you should be." you held his gaze with a measured look, he was playing a game but didn’t share the rules. 

 "I don't think you'd hurt me. At least, not without reason." A small part of you wondered, the whispers of domestic violence in your family had always made you second guess dates. 

He chuckled, making your pulse quicken. "Perceptive. But there's a lot you don't know about me, about this world." He motioned outside the booth with a cocky grin, legs spreading wide bumping into your leg again. You took a sip of wine, buying yourself a moment to think.

"Then tell me. I want to understand." Togame studied you for a long moment as if weighing how much to reveal. Finally, he spoke- picking each word with great care.

"We provide protection and ensure businesses run smoothly- timely. Sometimes that requires... persuasion." You nodded slowly, reading between the lines. Violence. 

"Makes sense," The implications of Togame's words hung heavy in the air between you. Some part of you wanted to flee to the safety of your aunt's apartment and forget this night ever happened. But the louder part was still drawn to him, wanting to stay. 

Togame watched you carefully, his expression calm as ever.

"Does this change things?" he asked softly.

You took a deep breath, considering your answer. "It's a lot to process."

"I appreciate your honesty.” He paused, setting down his drink. “I would never involve you in anything illegal. Work and pleasure shouldn’t mix." You could tell from the look in his eyes he was pleased with himself. You quirked an eyebrow, choosing to ignore his flirting for a moment. 

"But isn't your whole operation illegal?" A small smirk played at the corners of his mouth, happy to keep playing this game.  

"Technically, yes.” Togame leaned back again, a hint of amusement in his eyes. "Legality is often a matter of perspective. We provide services that many find... necessary."

You couldn't help but let out a laugh. "That's quite the euphemism."

He shrugged, his posture staying playful. "I prefer to think of it as creative problem-solving."

Despite the gravity of the situation, you found yourself relaxing into his side again. Togame's candor was refreshing, even if the contents were unsettling.

"So," you ventured, "where does that leave us?"

Togame's expression softened. He reached for you, his fingers brushing yours. This time, you didn't pull away.

"That depends on you," he said softly.

"Togame, I..." you started, unsure how to proceed.

He held up a hand, his expression softening. "You don't need to decide anything tonight. I enjoy your company."

You nodded, grateful to avoid asking what he wanted from you for now. As the evening wore on, the conversation drifted to lighter topics. The wine flowed freely, and soon you were laughing at his jokes, the earlier tension completely melted away.

"So tell me," Togame said, leaning in as if telling a secret, "what's the craziest thing you've done since coming to Japan?"

You felt your cheeks flush, partly from the wine and partly from embarrassment. "I'm not really the 'crazy' type."

Togame raised an eyebrow. "I find that hard to believe. A beautiful woman like you? Surely you've had some excitement."

You laughed, shaking your head. Excitement was going to a further grocery store due to the local one not having a requested ingredient for auntie. Wait! You recalled something, not really crazy but it did cost you some goodwill from auntie, and a wind chime in front of your window. 

"Well," you said, feeling emboldened by the wine, "I did sneak out to a nightclub once, without telling my aunt. It was... interesting."

"Oh? Do tell." Togame’s interest was greatly piqued, waiting for the good girl aura to collapse.  You recounted the story, of how you had slipped out after your aunt had gone to bed, taking the train into the heart of Tokyo. The pulsing lights, the deafening music, the press of bodies on the dance floor - it had been exhilarating and terrifying all at once.

"I felt so out of place," you admitted. "But also... free. Like I could be anyone I wanted for just one night."

Togame nodded, his eyes never leaving yours. "And did you? Become someone else?"

You smiled, remembering. "I tried. I danced with strangers and drank cocktails I couldn't stomach the next day,” you paused, recalling a shadow you had tucked away in your memories.

“But a wave of sobriety hit me hard. I realized I didn’t want to end up a forgotten name on someone’s mattress.” Togame's eyes roamed over you with thinly veiled lust as you finished your story.

"So you left before things could get too... exciting?" A blush bloomed over your whole face as nervous laughter filled the booth. 

"I guess I'm not as adventurous as I'd like to think." Not that you were going to admit it out loud but the idea of losing your virginity on that night had scared you. All the books you read made it seem like something special. While you were not foolish enough to think your first time would be magical- a random man you met at 1 AM was not going to be how it went down.

"On the contrary," Togame said, his voice playful. "It’s good to know your limits and stick to them. Not so common in my day-to-day life." His words sent a warm flutter through your chest. Was getting praise a kink? Did you have that kink? You took another sip of wine, enjoying how close he was sitting.

"What about you?" you asked, trying to deflect attention from yourself, worried he could hear your dirty thoughts. "What's the craziest thing you've done?" It was a dumb question but you'd blame it on the wine later.

Togame chuckled, a dark glint in his eye. "Not sure you want to hear those stories."

You raised an eyebrow, curiosity filled your mind, but you didn’t have the guts to press any further. Time passed faster than you realized. The other patrons had mostly filtered out, leaving the 2 of you in the corner with most of the establishment to yourselves. Togame's hand found you under the table, his thumb tracing gentle circles on your exposed thigh. The heat between your legs immediately doubled, his fingers already making fantasies play in your mind. 

"It's getting late," Togame said softly, his eyes meeting yours. "I should probably get you home before your aunt starts to worry." You shook your head quickly, unable to speak under his ministrations. His hand pulled back nearly pulling a whine from your chest as he did so. 

“Shall we?” Another nod for a response as you called upon your wobbly legs. As you stood straight, a wave of dizziness washed over you. Your body swayed without permission, fingers grasping the air for stability. Surely 4 glasses of wine wasn’t that much. Togame's arm was around your waist in an instant, steadying you.

"Careful," he murmured, his breath warm against your ear. "The wine here can be strong." A giggle escaped your lips as you adjusted yourself within his grip. Drinking was never a particularly common pastime for you, even in college. 

You leaned into Togame's sturdy frame as he guided you out of the bar. The cool night air hit your flushed cheeks, making you moan a sigh of relief. You couldn’t see his pupils blow wide at the sudden moan escaping your lips, but if you had a game of edging would have taken place. 

"Cold?" he asked, trying to ignore his hard-on quickly growing. Already shrugging off his jacket to drape it over your shoulders. You drunkenly giggle about having warm blood but wrap yourself in his jacket regardless. He watched you inhale his scent that clung to the fabric, which did nothing to help his boner.

As you walked through the quiet streets, your steps unsteady, Togame kept a firm grip on your waist. The drunken haze clouding your mind had one bad idea after another, but dam his hands felt good. You had to feel more. You lean on his body more, enjoying how he shifted to keep you steady.

"I had a nice time tonight," you murmured as a giggle threatened to surface.

"Good," he said slowly. "I enjoyed myself as well."

As you walked, the world seemed to tilt and sway around you. You stumbled slightly with giggles filling the air. Togame's other arm came up to steady you.

"Whoa there," he chuckled. "Let's take a break."

He guided you to a nearby park bench, helping you sit down. The cool night air felt good on your flushed skin, you wondered if the ground felt even better. Togame sat beside you, his thigh pressing against you bringing you back to you and him. 

"You're so warm," you mumbled, leaning your head on his shoulder. You felt his body stiffen slightly at the contact, then slowly relax. One arm around your side while the other rested oddly on his lap. 

"And you're drunk," he said, amusement in his voice.

"Mmm, maybe a little," a hiccup made your body shake on the bench.

"You know," you paused, your brain struggling to shut you up. "you're not at all what I expected."

"Oh? And what did you expect?" Togame half chuckled and half slurred. If your drunk statements upset him, he hid it well.

You shrugged, nearly tumbling forward in the process. Togame steadied you effortlessly.

 "I don't know. Someone scarier, I guess. More... yakuza-like." His laugh was deep. 

“Only at work.” You giggled at his response, the alcohol making everything seem funnier than it should. 

"So what, you leave the scary yakuza stuff at the office?" Togame's arm tightened around you slightly. "Something like that. I prefer to keep business and pleasure separate when I can."

"Am I just pleasure then?" The words slipped out before you could stop them. You felt your face flush hot with embarrassment but no going back now.

Togame turned to look at you, his green eyes clouded and intense. "Sex and pleasure are two different things," he said with great leisure.

Your breath caught in your throat. The way he was looking at you made your skin hot. Would he mind if you kissed him? What if he didn’t want you? Worse, what if he did but only for the night?

"I think," you said, your voice shaky, "I should probably get home now."

Togame nodded, his expression unreadable in the dim streetlight. "Of course. Let's get you home."

He helped you to your feet, keeping a strong arm around your waist as you walked. The cool night air seemed to clear your drunken lust slightly, but you were still acutely aware of Togame's closeness, the warmth of his body against yours. As you approached your aunt's apartment building, your steps slowed. Part of you didn't want the night to end, despite your earlier proclamation.

"Here we are," Togame said softly as you reached the entrance. You turned to face him, suddenly feeling shy.

"Thanks again tonight. For everything." You muttered out, stalling for time. He smiled, reaching out to tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear.

"My pleasure," he murmured.

You stood there for a moment, caught in Togame's unflinching gaze. The air between you felt charged by sexual tension. Your heart raced as he leaned in slightly, his hand still lingering near your face.

"I..." you started, but the words died in your throat. You wanted to kiss him, to invite him up, to see where this might lead. Your aunt would kill you if she found out though. Maybe he had a place nearby. Wait, slow down, that was not happening.

Togame seemed to sense your internal struggle. He pulled back slightly, his hand dropping to his side.

"Get some rest," he said softly. "I'll call you tomorrow, alright?"

"I'd like that." Disappointment washed over you. You wanted him to grab you, kiss you so long you had to beg for air.

"Sleep well," Togame finally stated, giving you an out. Sleep well? That was not gonna happen. As he turned away, you felt a rush of boldness. Maybe it was the lingering effects of the wine, or maybe it was just the intoxicating presence of Togame Jo himself. Either way, you found yourself reaching out, grabbing hold of his body.

"Wait," your voice came out shaky.

"Yes?" Togame paused, his eyes searching yours. 

Your heart pounded in your chest as you stood on your tiptoes pulling his shoulders down, and pressed your lips to his. It was a chaste kiss, nothing overly sexual but it still made your entire body warm. It lasted a heartbeat before you pulled away, embarrassment nearly stopping your heart.

“Goodnight!” you practically shouted, again, blaming the wine. 

You turned quickly, fumbling with the keypad as you tried to unlock the door. Your hands shook from a mix of nerves and lingering alcohol making unlocking the door a difficult task. Just as you managed to get the keypad activated correctly, you felt Togame's hand on your shoulder, gently turning you to face him.

His eyes searched your face for something, but what he searched for was lost on you. Without a word, he cupped your cheek and leaned in, capturing your lips in a searing kiss. This was nothing like the chaste peck you had given him moments ago. This kiss was hungry, and stealing the breath from your lungs. You moaned into his mouth melting into him, your hands gripping his sides as his tongue swept into your mouth. He tasted whiskey and cinnamon, intoxicating in a way that had nothing to do with alcohol. Togame's other hand found your waist, pulling you flush against him.

The world around you faded away as the kiss deepened. His hand tangled in your hair, tilting your head back slightly as he explored your mouth. Another soft moan escaped you, muffled against his lips.

Togame pressed you gently against the door, his body firm and towering over yours. You could feel the hard planes of his chest, samue deceptively hiding his muscled frame. Your head spun, overwhelmed by sensation and desire.

After what felt like an eternity, Togame slowly pulled back, his breathing uneven. His eyes were dark with want as he gazed down at you, still keeping you pinned against the door.

"I've wanted to do that since I first saw you," he shuddered out, his voice course. You struggled to catch your breath, your lips tingling from his kiss.

"I... wow," you breathed, unable to form a coherent thought. Your body pulsed with desire, every nerve ending sensitive and wanting. Togame's thumb brushed your lower lip, his eyes intense as they roamed your face.

"You have no idea," he murmured.

You swallowed hard, your heart pounding. "I might have some idea," you whispered, feeling the evidence of his arousal pressed against you.

A low growl rumbled in Togame's chest. He leaned in, his lips brushing your ear. "If you invite me up, I won't be able to stop myself," he warned, his voice laced with need. You arched against his body, taking great enjoyment in his restraints loosening.

“Goodnight.” Was all you could manage while gently pushing his body off of yours. He didn’t protest or even huff. A lazy smile crossed his face as he watched you fumble with the keypad again. Once you finally got the correct code the door open with the loudest beeping you have ever heard, likely waking the entire neighborhood. 

“Goodnight.” He repeated as the door closed, both of you smiling before the lock clicked into place. 

Togame Jo’s POV

Fingers threaded through his hair, trying to relieve any tension that had built up in his body from that kiss. If he were a different man she might not have been able to escape his grasp. God knows he would do anything to feel her sink onto his cock right now. And with that thought a groan passed his lips and he turned to leave. 

Looking at his phone gave him pause, should he text now? Maybe it was best to wait a bit.

Fuck it, he had been drinking too, that would be his excuse. Quickly he found their chat and texted away. 

“Think of me while touching yourself tonight.” The text sent while a shit-eating grin plastered to his face. There was a slim chance that text wouldn’t land, but the way her body arched against him was enough motivation to try his luck. 

Slowly he walked back to Orion, cooling his blood with each step. By the time he reached headquarters his hard-on was placated, and his mood fairly light. One last tension-relieving sigh left his lips before he pushed past the entrance of Orion Star. 

His temper was almost immediately struck when a nameless food soldier pulled up to his side, holding documents, head cast downwards. Ah, he had forgotten about this request. In silence he took the documents in hand, thumbing over the files. Something was off during the last inventory check for weed and coke. His suppliers had stated nothing had changed with weight or quality. The only option left meant someone was skimming. Jo peered over at the grunt, annoyed he was still standing near him. 

“That's all.” The boy hurried away, clearly happy to give the second in command space. This time an agitated sigh escaped his lips. He could be holding his good girl right now, watching her thighs jiggle as he pounded into her body, but no he had to deal with this crap, again. 

With documents in hand, Jo walked to the shared office between him and Choji. Granted Choji rarely used it, only stopping in when looking for Jo, but it was shared regardless. 

He flopped down in the chair, going over a few pages out of the stack. There had to be a better way to organize this information, so many pages had similar information just in different formatting. With a tsk he grabbed his phone, ready to call a grunt demanding better file formatting when his mouth went dry. A text illuminated his irises through orange sunglasses. 

“I will daddy*.”  His entire body froze, rereading the text multiple times. Blood rushed to his cock so fast he became light-headed, sweat forming on his brow. His fingers twitched, nearly texting, no begging, for a picture. He used every ounce of control left in his body to set his phone down then ball his fists. He wanted to see her body in person, a picture would only torture him. He huffed out a labored laugh, musing on how this girl could possibly think she wasn't adventurous. 

[daughterofhecata]

Got tagged by @lalalenii - thank you ♥ for once I'm remembering to actually do this 🙈😄

10 things for 10(ish) people you’d like to get to know better

last song: uuuuuh I think that was "Keine Macht für Niemand" by Ton Steine Scherben yesterday in the car. Pretty sure my brother turned off the car right after the "Saarbrücken" we laugh about a little every time.

favourite color: usually really hard to answer. right now? The glittery dark midnight blue we painted the living room with in the new flat <3

last book: bell hooks' "The Will To Change" - a very interesting read that also left me angry in multiple directions.

last film: I very genuinely do not have the faintest clue.

last tv show: Tatort Göttingen <3 although I still think it's... an interesting choice to follow "National Feminin", which deals with a New Right movement and how racists will immediately blame immigrants for the murder of a white woman with zero evidence, with "Die Rache an der Welt" (I'm not counting Charlotte's single investigation), where the cops (or rather: the white cop) immediately looks for the murderer of the pretty blonde german girl among the immigrants/asylum seekers she worked with without any evidence (and finds him there too ofc) 🙃 (and also can someone explain to me please what the title has to do with the episode bc I don't get it)

sweet/savory/spicy: right now definitely savoury

relationship status: single; I don't ever see that changing tbh

last thing i googled: which sims cheat I need to edit a "finished" sim's character traits

current obsession: once again Justus/Victor specifically. I keep jumping between three different wips with them and unfortunately neglecting all other wips again [edit: and also, unfortunately, Sims again.]

looking forward to: getting to see @crazy-walls again in little over two weeks 💕 (and also getting the fucking stitches out of my mouth tomorrow. my patience won't hold much longer until I attempt to do it myself.)

tagging @crazy-walls, @autumncalls, @borealopelta, @auxiliarydetective, @wheresmybloodynauglamir, @anallemeinegringos & @justablix, if you want!

[lala-blahblah]

I do this very silly thing where when I discover a piece of art that moves me deeply like a song or a book I put it on a little pedestal in my heart and make no effort to engage with any of the artist's other work. And I think it's because I'm scared that it's a fluke, that the stars lined up perfectly just this once but that my tastes are too specific or discerning to be so easily pleased again and I don't want to be disappointed. I had read "Nothing to See Here" by Kevin Wilson and loved it so so much but had it in my head that his other books would be too weird and sad for me, but I got to the library half an hour before closing yesterday and I didn't have much time to browse and I just grabbed two of his other books and crossed my fingers, and oh my goshhhhh I could not put "Now is Not the Time to Panic" down last night it was sooo good in so much of the same way, like it makes me want to write something (which is still a new feeling for me as someone who has always considered herself more of an artist than an author). It's this crazy book that's very satanic panic-esque where these teenagers make this freaky poster for fun and just start hanging it up everywhere and their small town doesn't know what to do about it and things spiral out from there. And I'm just reading it like yes yes yes this is how I feel about the world and no one has ever put it in words before but YES this is it right here.

I think it's that Kevin Wilson is the opposite of a romantic. He is so real with his description of teenagers and growing up and how weird people are and how weird they feel and how love and feelings is kind of gross and awkward and what you feel as a teenager will define who you are but the person you feel those things towards will not be your end goal. And the details he gives to people's lives are just weird enough to be true. And the relationships are always part of the story but not what defines it. And he writes such losers, his female characters are such losers and failures and sad weird little kids that grow into weird adults but I love them so much and they feel like real people they feel like they could be me. I don't feel like many people capture this well with female characters, not since Suzanne Collins with Katniss Everdeen. Everything goes wrong for Kevin Wilson's characters but it's not dramatic like a sitcom. It's a quiet sort of wrong. It's like when you were in middle school and you spoke up in conversation in a group of girls and then they all looked at you in vague confusion and disgust and then move on, and you go "oh. I'm a weirdo freak and I just need to stand here quietly and never say anything ever again." Here are some quotes I liked.

[noroi1000]

Now I totally know this thing. "You won't find the perfect book for you." "When you want to read the perfect book for you, write it yourself."

Just like that. I have read so many manhwas and other fics. For example, let's take something I liked: Olgami, When Beauty Meets Beasts, Lady Devil. And I love: Failed to abandon the villain, Dreaming freedom, Bloody Sweet, Beauty and the Beasts. Some of them had things that I liked, but I would have done it differently if I was author.

I'm the type of person who gets inspiration from everything. When I read Failed to abandon the villain yesterday, I had inspiration for the book. And then I had a dream that reflected the person I invented for this book. I once had a dream that I knew nothing about. I was the main character and I was being chased by a yandere vampire who was goofy but also deadly.  Like a cross between the character from Bloody Sweet and Olgami. In one night, my brain gave me the entire plot of the book from beginning to end.

I will tell you about my miserable dream of becoming a writer one day. Publish my stories and know that someone likes them. A writer always writes for someone. There is no writer without an audience. Everyone wants something they wrote to be read and appreciated. I want it. Same with the fact that I started thinking that writing romance novels is rubbish... Because I haven't written anything that doesn't have a love story. I wrote it as a person who has never had a boyfriend 😂

I love writing yandere, vampires, fantasy. I love writing about crazy guys.

Cursed Siblings, Love between introvert girl and boy who is influencer, girl and hacker, ancient Japan story, horror without romance, crazy jealous husband, zombie apocalypse with some romance, vampire romance, yandere servant for his mistress, war between two best friends (Inspired by the relationship between Gojo and Geto), Horror where main antagonist is main character in story. And more. I am someone who knows exactly the words "too much to do, too little time." These are all my own ideas for books.

Can my dreams come true? I don't know. I will believe it when I am appreciated not as Noroi. But as my true self.

I don't know why I'm writing this message ╮⁠(⁠＾⁠▽⁠＾⁠)⁠╭

[starlightkun]

I finished reading tdhea yesterday and it was a beautiful experience for me, for sure. It was a beautiful story and I enjoyed/loved reading every chapter of the book. The relationship between ji and the reader, chenle and ji's relationship, the group (dreamies + the reader's) relationship, human renjun, everything was beautiful, tdhea is beautiful, the strawberry sunday universe as a whole is really beautiful!! It's my read & relax space now. And I found the jasmine & pearls Shotaro character appearance cute. And this book made me more curious about the strawberry sunday universe, How many types of mythical creatures are included in this universe? And do all of the neos have a short character desc for them by now like their background and stuff like that? And did you decide the personality of each character by their personality as a person or.. by the mythical creature assigned to them or both, for example, both jaemin and haechan are dryads and how do you decide the differences between their character personalities? - 🌺

youre really so sweet this ask made me so so happy. i kept going back to read it so many times while i was at work today <33 i was looking forward to answering this one when i came home ahhh

i know i didn't go into siren!taro or the boba shop a lot in tdhea, but a lot like jeno's cameo in rid, we'll see more of him in another fic (changer!)

so i did just count actually, and including humans, there are officially 14 kinds of creatures in the strawberry sunday universe: basilisk, dragon, dryad, fairy, gryphon, human, phoenix, siren, sphinx, unicorn, vampire, werewolf, witch, wyvern*

*we haven't officially seen a wyvern character in any strawberry sunday fic, they were just mentioned in tdhea as part of renjun/reader's curriculum (their class on "basilisks, dragons, and wyverns")

tdhea spoilers under the cut for those of u who haven't read it

i think all of the neos have been included/mentioned in some fic (or wip) at this point so they all definitely have a physical description, and a lot have a general background in my mind, but i'm still learning a lot about my characters. like i used to never understand those authors that were like "oh my characters just do things themselves" but there are some scenes i fr dont know what these bitches r doing until im like "ohhhh because then THIS is going to happen and thats why THIS happened earlier i get it now." like in tdhea, the last big scene with the whole group where chenle, jisung, and reader were supposed to be pranking the others but then it was all going horribly wrong, i was writing it to be 100% serious at first (aka the others fully believed them/didn't know it was a prank) and by the time i got to mark telling jeno to grab the reader, i was just thinking to myself "this doesn't feel right, i don't like this, they wouldn't do this, im going to have to take this whole scene out and then change the scene before with chenle completely" but i just kept letting them go and then finally i was like "oh my god THEY'RE playing a prank back on them! chenle's being a double agent of course! he's a fairy, duh!" like it rlly felt like i had got got by my own fic and characters 😭😭 as crazy as that might sound idk. and i hadn't even decided chenle was a fairy prince until i was writing the dialogue in the scene where reader says "I like Chenle, but a fairy prince isn’t exactly representative of humans." (i write/plan things very out of order, that was one of the first scenes i had written) and then bam, chenle and jisung's entire backstory together had coalesced in my mind. and even then, chenle/the dreamie's whole deal wasn't fully explored in tdhea (it was sort of alluded to/explained with jisung befriending chenle first, and the others just came along with chenle. but how did chenle and the other dreamies meet?? i do know SOME of that one actually. ha.)

when i went to assign beings to the neos, i went based off how i perceived (some of) their irl personality traits and gave them creatures with powers/lore/etc. that i thought either reflected those traits and/or could manifest well with them. like chenle irl can for sure just be a menace. so, take that one little tendency of his, dial it up a lot little, and make him a fairy, who are known to be mischievous folk. jungwoo is also a fairy, and irl i also see him as a jokester (he's constantly making the ilichils laugh) but less in the way of pranks like fairy!chenle and more like a tease (see: all of strawberry sunday lol). soo, still a mischievous fairy woos, but slightly different than our other fairy.

while i could've easily put hyuck in with our impish fairies too, i feel like a lot of fics tend to focus on his tendency to be a little shit (mine r no exception) and i wanted to acknowledge and embrace his softness too. he's our lovely fullsun, and i adored the idea of him laughing so hard that he just sprouted flowers, and sleeping under his own blanket of clovers, and underneath his outwards tendencies to be a little shit, he really is in touch with what his friends are feeling and need, and just wants the best for them. as for the difference in hyuck and jaemin, since they're both dryads, i made a more conscious effort to keep (what i perceive to be) more of their irl personalities in moreso than the other neos. and i hope that comes across? like they'll both tease and poke fun and have those down to earth moments, but in different ways? hyuck is more overtly meddlesome, mischievous, and generally is a little shit except for those rare, sincere moments. meanwhile jaemin shows (tdhea) reader how to weave clover crowns, nags, lectures, and overall has more....idk nurturing vibes?

i wont go into depth for every single neo for fear of this being wildly longer than it is and boring (some were a little more arbitrary than others. i def spent the longest assigning the ilichils i think), i do want to touch on my humans briefly. i was going back and forth on having johnny be a gryphon or a human for a while, actually. i finally settled on human not only to have a little comedic relief (bc literally all of these guys r comedic relief truly) but to have a parallel of human (strawbsunday) reader who grew up around magical creatures and is all used to this, and human johnny who is getting used to it but is just so chill and has this open mind, but still needs that human reassurance every so often that he's not about to die right now, actually. and slightly unhinged magical creatures studies human renjun who is like a walking talking encyclopedia of weird and magical who gets clowned on by said weird magical creatures for believing in aliens was just too funny of an opportunity to pass up. it was too perfect imo. like setup punchline, slam dunk on that boy constantly i love you my perfect sweet human renjun

[cjsinkythoughts]

FATWS One Shot #3 - Stars, Stripes, and Bubbles

Word Count: 1912

Warnings: Cursing, Fluff, erm…a Relationship that You Want to Happen but Know Never Will

Setting/Characters: The first part of Captain America: The Winter Soldier in 2014 after Steve’s hostage mission; Reader, Steve Rogers, mentions of Sam Wilson, Natasha Romanoff, and Nick Fury

A/N: This…isn’t what I thought it was gonna turn out to be. But I like it, it’s cute, and I needed something pure with the shield after that ending scene, so I’m posting it.

I have a few more One Shots planned that take place during TWS so I’ll be writing those today and tomorrow. This week is a lot less hectic than last week (I was being trained in another area of my job last week, hence crazy hours), so expect more One Shots coming this week. Again, I’m trying to post them chronologically, but there might be some out of order depending on what you guys request and when, which is totally fine!

For today, I have the Reader meeting Sam (which is kinda what this was supposed to be, but…oh well) and more about the notebook planned. Also Reader meeting Bucky unofficially for the first time because he’s, you know, brainwashed and stuff. Later this week I’m planning on AoU stuff which will include the Party Scene and Wanda interactions.

If I can get through those by Friday when the new episode comes out, I’ll start on CA:CW which will include Reader officially meeting Bucky and possibly the airport scene if you guys are interested in that. Then I’ve got some Wakanda scenes and some Peter interactions. If not, I’ll start CW:CA next Sunday. Once the backstory is set up and completed chronologically, I might go back and just write some drabbles and stuff of random moments - kinda like this one. 

I did get a request earlier for Bucky’s perspective on the dancing scene in Part 4.2, so I’m planning on doing more rewrites of scenes in Bucky’s perspective, but that’ll come after the One Shots, so hopefully next week.

I think that’s all…umm…yeah. Once again, not beta’d so please excuse any mistakes! Thank you so much for reading! I’m so glad you’re all enjoying this almost as much as I am! Be kind to yourselves and others! Enjoy reading and stay tuned!

FATWS Masterlist

cjsinkythoughts Masterlist

The beeping of the timer made you groan and set down the book you were digging into. You were just starting to get to the good part, but the food smelled so good, so you decided it could wait.

You were so focused on your task of getting your breakfast ready that you didn’t hear your front door open or the footsteps that followed it shutting, the thud of boots hitting the floor just around the corner. Setting the ready food on the counter, you jumped at the arms that wrapped around your shoulders and waist.

“Shouldn’t you be more observant for a spy?”

You gave a hum at his deep voice, tilting your head slightly as he placed his cheek on your shoulder, nose pressing up against the column of your throat. “Shouldn’t you be heading over to the Triskelion for your debriefing with Fury?”

He growled at the mention of the mission he was just sent on yesterday morning. The first few assignments he had surprised you with how quick they were over, but then you remembered yours were a bit different than his and you got used to him being back within the next couple days.

“We don’t have secrets right? I’m so fucking tired of secrets.”

Your eyebrow quirked up as you turned to face him, his hands slipping down to your hips. You took in his state; he was still in uniform, dirt on his face, hair unruly, the shield on his back gray with the dust that covered it. He obviously hadn’t even gone to his own place yet, meaning he just got back. “What happened?”

He huffed, letting go of you to rub his face tiredly. “Natasha. She didn’t tell me that Fury sent her to do something other than what we were supposed to be doing.”

“They’re spies, bubs. It’s what they do.”

“You’re a spy. You wouldn’t do that.”

Chuckling a little at his comparison, you shook your head. “Our relationship is a little…different than yours and Nat’s.”

“I wish they’d put you on my missions. I don’t know why they don’t. We work well together, don’t we?”

You snorted. “That’s probably the reason.” At his confused look, you shook your head. “Never mind. Just…we’re closer. I know you better than they do. You can’t compare them to me. It isn’t fair.”

He grumbled, eyes glancing down to your feet. “They still should’ve told me.”

“Hey,” you tilted his head back up to meet your gaze. “It was a hostage mission, right?” He nodded. “Did you save the hostages?” Another nod, which made you shrug. “Then there you go. You did your job and you saved people. It was a success. That’s all that matters.”

“He got away.” Steve argued. “He got away because she didn’t feel the goddamn need to tell me-”

“She was following orders. Don’t be mad at her.”

“You’re right.” His quick admission stunned you for a moment, until he continued speaking. “It’s Fury’s fault. I think I’m gonna go-”

He started moving away, but you tugged him back, shaking your head again. “Not yet, bubba. You can talk to him later. Let’s get you cleaned up first. Then we’ll eat and you can tell me how that run you went on yesterday was. Okay?”

His features softened and he nodded, setting his forehead against yours. “Okay.”

You had half of your dresser sectioned off for Steve’s things. SHIELD had moved him to DC about a year previous to be closer to HQ, especially after the Helicarrier became decommissioned for repairs. You already had an apartment in DC - it was where you stayed for the most part, hence the reason you were more than willing to stay in New York for a couple years. 

The moment he moved in about ten minutes from you, you knew, just like in DC, he’d be spending a lot of time at your place. Which is why you made the executive decision to have him bring a bag over one night and unpack his stuff.

It wasn’t the first shower he took at your place and it most certainly wouldn’t be the last.

While he was cleaning up, you got to work washing his suit and the shield. You teased him by saying you’d just throw his suit in the washer and the shield in the dishwasher, but you wouldn’t actually.

His suit was air drying by the window and you were at the sink scrubbing off the shield, wishing you had a backyard and a hose, when he padded back into the room, hair plastered to his forehead, dripping down his temples, sweats and a t-shirt clinging to his body. He shook his head, leaning on the counter besides you. You always found it amusing how big he looked in your tiny kitchen.

“You know you don’t have to do that, right?”

You scoffed. “If you think I’m gonna let you walk around in that disgusting thing all day, you, my friend, are nuts.”

He chuckled, moving behind you and setting his chin on your shoulder, his larger hands stopping yours from their movements. “At least let me do this, then.” He murmured, taking the scrub brush from you, spreading the bubbles over the rings of the shield.

“You can help me. But I like finishing what I started.” You whispered back, reaching for a clean rag and dunking it into the soapy water, wiping down the star in the middle.

He placed a gentle kiss to your jaw, relenting easily. “Fine.”

You two worked in silence, the water running over the shield, taking the dirt and grime with it, hands occasionally brushing each other. Almost finished, Steve placed his hand over yours, moving it over to a certain spot. “The brush won’t get it.” He explained, his low voice sounding right beside your ear.

Smiling, you turned your head to look at him. There was a crease between his brow as he concentrated on getting rid of the smudge on the precious metal. Your lips turned up when you noticed a dark spot on his jaw he must’ve missed. He looked at you with a grin when you started giggling. “What’s got you giggling so pretty, honey?”

Letting go of the side of the shield you were holding, you reached up to wipe the dirt on his jaw that he missed with your thumb. “Can’t let that handsome face of yours get stained. And, speaking of stains,” you turned back to the shield, holding it up for the both of you to look at, the soft light from the window above the sink making it shine even more. “You think we got it all?”

“Hmmm. I think you missed a spot.”

Your eyebrows furrowed. “What? Where?”

He leaned closer to the shield, face right besides yours, cheeks practically brushing together. “Right…here.” His hand that you didn’t notice cupping water, came up and splashed your face.

You let out a shriek, stepping back, further into his chest, your jaw dropped. “Steven! My pjs!”

He cackled, leaning back and holding his chest, before gasping when you did the same thing back to him. “You’re on!” He grabbed his shield and filled it with water, making you squeak and try getting out of his hold. Stupid Super Soldier strength. He dumped it on you, water falling on your head, sliding down your back and making your pajamas stick to you. You quickly retaliated, grabbing the facet and turning it towards him, laughing at his shout.

The water fight continued for a few more minutes, bowls and cups coming into play, with Steve diving behind the counter and you slipping on the floor.

“Woah, there, honey!” He chuckled, the chortles coming from your lips reassuring him that you weren’t hurt. He leaned over you, reaching his hand out. “You okay?”

You nodded, taking his hand. “Let’s call it a truce, yeah?”

“Truce? Hell no! I won!”

“You did not! You just got lucky!”

He pulled you up, tugging you close. “Alright, alright. Fine. A truce. Let’s get you into some dry clothes, now. Don’t want you gettin’ sick, honey.”

You shook your head. “That’s actually a myth.”

“I’ll take note of that.”

An eyebrow of yours raised. “In that little notebook you never let me read?”

He smiled innocently. “Maybe. I added something else yesterday.” He informed you while tugging you down the hall to your room.

“Oh?”

“Yeah. Marvin Gaye’s Trouble Man Soundtrack.”

You hummed with an approving nod. “Yeah. That was a good suggestion. Who gave it to you?’

“This guy I met on my run.” He shrugged, heading over to his dresser as you grabbed a couple towels. “Sam Wilson. He seemed like a good guy.”

“Yeah?”

He nodded, grabbed another set of sweats and a shirt, before turning to you and taking the towel you handed him. “Yeah. He served two tours in Afghanistan. Now he’s working down at the VA. Told me to drop by sometime.”

“Aww.” You stood on your tiptoes to ruffle his hair. “My bubba’s all grown up and making friends.”

He rolled his eyes, ducking away from your hand and running his own through his hair. “Yeah, yeah.” His smile dropped as he looked at the clothes in his hand. “I think I’m gonna head out now. I should talk to Fury.”

You frowned. “You have all day, Steve. Just eat first, okay?”

“Okay.”

He was holding something back, you could tell. Picking out your clothes for the day, you decided to question him about it. “What’re you thinking about?”

Your backs turned to each other, you started changing, just as you’d down countless times before. “I was thinking about going to the Air and Space Museum again. If you wanna come.”

“You know I do.”

It was quiet for a few more minutes, only the sound of rustling clothes and zippers filling the air. “I-I think I’m gonna go after. To see her, I mean.”

You froze, keeping your heart and your breathing steady so he wouldn’t pick up on anything. “It’ll be good for you. She…she always knows what to say.”

“So do you.”

You cleared your throat, finishing with the final touches of your outfit. “I actually forgot that I have some stuff to finish up at HQ today, so I dunno if I’ll be able to go-”

His hand grabbed your wrist, turning you around, eyes pleading and face fallen. “Please. Please come with me. Honey. I need you there. With me. Please.”

You inwardly cursed yourself for falling for those puppy eyes, a soft sigh leaving your lips. “Okay, bubs. I’ll come with you.” You might regret it later, but the relief that washed over his features was worth it for now. The power he had over you scared you, especially since you knew he didn’t realize the hold he had on you, but you couldn’t help it. It happened quickly, swiftly, and you were down before you recognized it. And you didn’t know how to deal with it other than taking it one day at a time.

“Let’s go get some breakfast, now. I can promise it’s at least decent.”

The beam he shot you made your heart flutter no matter how hard you tried keeping calm. “I’m sure it’s better than anything I could ever make.” He pulled you close, lips brushing over your forehead. “Thank you.”

“For what?” You sighed, leaning your head against his, eyes closing.

“Existing.”

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All Works Taglist (Open):

@happygoreading​

@bibliophilewednesday​

[myhockeyworld87]

What Happens In Vegas...Doesn’t Always Stay There - Jacob Markstrom - Part 3

Word Count: 4,050

POV: Reader

Warning: Language

Notes: Well I’m finally at home for a night and I definitely owe you guys a story. So since I had the next part of this one ready, I dediced to post it. When last we saw these two, they had decided to divorce, and our reader had signed the papers and sent them back to Jacob. Who had forgotten to sign them. Let’s see what happens now, though I think some of you have an idea. As always feedback is welcome. Happy Reading!

What Happens In Vegas…Doesn’t Always Stay There Masterlist

It had been almost seven weeks since Jacob met you. For six of those, he’d talked to you every day, sometimes two and three times. It was just these last few days that you wouldn’t answer his calls or texts. Jacob was confused, to put it mildly. He wracked his brain trying to recall the last couple of conversations that you’d had, wondering if he’d said or did something to anger you, but nothing came to mind. In Jacob’s mind, he thought the two of you were actually starting something. Sure, it had been one of the most peculiar beginnings to a relationship ever, but the last several weeks' things had been nice, better than nice actually. He thought the two of you might have a chance at a real relationship. Of course, the distance between you played a part, but he thought the two of you could work that out; apparently, he was wrong.

 Jacob knew the moment he stepped poolside, that you were something special. The longer he talked to you the more he knew he’d been right. If he was being honest, it was probably one of the reasons he suggested marrying you, even though that marriage would be over soon. Just like lightning striking in the middle of a storm, it hit Jacob then why you were pissed. He’d forgotten to sign the divorce papers. He’d had them for well over two weeks now. Rushing into the office, he started rifling through all the crap on his desk looking for the manila envelope that you’d mailed it to him in. He was just in the process of opening it when the front doorbell rang, so back on the desk it went, as he headed to the door to answer it.

 Jacob was shocked to see you standing there. “(Y/N), what are you doing here?” He didn’t mean for that to come out the way it did. It took him a moment to recover before taking you in. There were dark circles under your eyes that made it look like you hadn’t slept in days, not to mention how puffy they looked as if you’d been crying. Jacob wanted nothing more than to take you in his arms and make whatever seemed to be causing you this much pain go away.

 “Hey,” you mumbled out weakly. “Can I come in?”

 “Of course.” He stepped aside, letting you into his home. It was your typical bachelor pad. Walls stark and devoid of any real character that you knew Jacob possessed. He led you over to the couch in the living room, an enormous piece of furniture designed for his large frame. It almost seemed to swallow you whole. “(Y/N) is everything ok?” There was concern in his eyes and you knew he was probably questioning your presence there after you’d been radio silent the last few days.

 “No.” The one-word answer was hard to push out without tears falling down your eyes. You could see how Jacob’s fingers itched to touch you and honestly that’s all you wanted right now, for him to just take you in his arms and somehow have all the answers, but he had to know the problem first. You took a deep breath trying to steel yourself for what you needed to tell him. “Jacob, I don’t know how to tell you this.” At that moment Jacob grabbed your hands and engulfed them in his giving you his support in just that simple touch. It gave you enough courage to blurt out the last part. “I’m pregnant.”

 You felt his hands slip a bit on yours at the shock of the news; his mouth working trying to form a sentence yet nothing coming out. It took a minute but he finally found his words. “Wow, um…ok…I hate to ask this…”

 This was the part you knew was coming, expected it really and you didn’t blame him at all. So, to spare him, you found yourself answering the unspoken question. “It’s yours.” He nodded but you felt the need to explain more. “I haven’t been with anyone since Vegas, and even before that, well, work was really busy, and…well let’s just say it had been over a month or longer.”

 “You don’t have to say anymore, (Y/N). I believe you.” His hands tightened on yours, the shock of everything starting to wear off. “Plus, we didn’t use protection.” It was something you didn’t give much thought to when you were with Jacob, which was odd because you’d always been extra cautious with hookups, but then everything with Jacob was different than anyone else. “Do you…do you know what you want to do?”

 This time you couldn’t stop the tears from flowing. “I tried, Jacob. I really did.” He looked confused, unsure of what you meant by that. “I went to get an abortion yesterday.” He blinked hard but other than that showed no expression. “I was sitting there on the damn table in a gown just waiting for the doctor to come in and then I looked around. There was this damn chart that showed what the size of your baby is every week compared to fruit of all things. It’s a blueberry by the way. A damn cute little blueberry, like the kind they put in muffins and stuff.” Why it had to be an adorable little fruit like that you didn’t know. Why couldn’t it be honeydew? You hated that fruit. Well maybe not hate, but it wasn’t your favorite that’s for sure. “Anyhow, I was just staring at that poster and looking at each week and I don’t know. I couldn’t breathe.” Kind of like now, even telling him brought back all those feelings. “I started thinking about the doctor telling me that I could hear the heartbeat next week when she did the ultrasound, and I’m not sure what happened, but I couldn’t go through with it; so, I left. I’m so sorry.”

 You weren’t quite sure if you were apologizing to him or yourself. This was something you didn’t want, at least not right now, or at least that’s what you always thought. Now, you didn’t know what you wanted anymore. You took a deep breath, composing yourself. “I booked a flight once I got home. I couldn’t tell you this over the phone or text. You deserved to hear it in person.”

 “Thank you for that.”

 You slipped your hands out of his, distancing yourself from him for this next part, but also pulling out the envelope you brought. “I’m going to keep the baby.” As if that part wasn’t obvious, but you somehow felt it needed to be said. “I had Aaron draw up some papers. They absolve you from any obligations to the child both financially and emotionally. All you have to do is sign them. You won’t even have to be listed on the birth certificate.” He took the envelope from your hands, glancing briefly at the contents inside. “I’m sure you’ll want to have your lawyer look it over.”

 Jacob didn’t know what to think. Ten minutes ago, he was wondering if you were ever going to speak to him again and now you were telling him you were having his child. A child you apparently didn’t want him to be a part of. But did he even want a baby? He certainly hadn’t wanted a wife, yet here he was still married to you. He should come clean right now and tell you that he hadn’t signed the papers yet. That some indescribable feeling had taken over him, and he wasn’t entirely sure he wanted to sign them anymore. And now, well, now he felt like he shouldn’t sign them. Maybe this was all some force in the universe steering his life in a different direction; a route he hadn’t planned on taking until later, yet here he was on it. “And what if I don’t want to sign them?”

 Well, that certainly wasn’t what you thought he’d say. You didn’t think this was something either of you wanted, but you couldn’t be certain. It wasn’t like the two of you had had this long talk about where you saw your life in five years. Hell, this wasn’t where you saw your life in five months, but here you were, on the verge of being divorced with a baby on the way. “Well, I guess we’ll need to figure things out then.”

 Jacob got up and started to wander around the living room. You weren’t sure if he was trying to decide whether or not he wanted to sign the papers or how he was going to be part of his child’s life. “Do you want a drink or something? I need a drink. Oh shit, you can’t drink, can you?”

 “It’s not advised, but please don’t let that stop you. Though if you have a water that would be great.” He headed towards the kitchen, which gave you a chance to just breathe. The hardest part was telling him, all the rest you’d figure out. He was back quicker than you expected, a bottle of water in each hand. He handed one over to you and sat back down beside you. “You know, you can think about this if you want. You don’t have to sign or not sign them right now.”

 He nodded and pursued his lips before answering, though not how you expected. “How long are you here for?”

 “A few days. There’s a movie being filmed not far from here. I offered to drop off some of the specs for the campaign, as long as I was here, but it also gives you some time to make a decision.”

 “I already have. I want to be in our baby’s life.” You don’t know why but it felt like a thousand pounds had been lifted off your chest. It was nice to know that you weren’t in this alone. “But there’s a lot to figure out.”

 “Yes, there is.”

 “(Y/N), this is going to sound crazy, but I want you to move here.”

 Pregnancy did weird things to the body and maybe your hearing things was one of them because you were pretty sure Jacob had just said he wanted you to move to Vancouver. “I’m sorry, you want me to move here, as in Vancouver?”

 “Well, yeah but I want you to move in here, like in my house.”

 He seemed dead serious and you weren’t sure how to take his suggestion or him at the moment. “But my life and my home are in LA. That’s where my job is.” Couldn’t he see that?

 “I know, but moving here just makes sense. I’ll be able to help you then, not just after the baby is born but before as well. I have plenty of room in this house. There are three spare bedrooms; we can turn one into a nursery for the baby.”

 How could go from finding out you were pregnant to a full out plan of attack in less than a half-hour? God, it took you a day to wrap your head around it when you found out and then another to make the decision about the abortion, and even then you still didn’t figure out you wanted to keep the baby until you were sitting in the doctor’s office. Jacob seemed to be processing everything much better than you were.

 “I don’t know Jacob, just because we’re having this baby together doesn’t mean we have to live together.” Everything with Jacob was still in this weird transition phase like you went from being wildly attracted to each other, to being married, to getting a divorce, to now having a baby, and now he wanted you to live together under the same roof. You didn’t even know if the two of you would get along that great. Sure, the sex was amazing, well really better than amazing if that was even a thing, and you seemed to get along if your conversations over the last several weeks were any indication, but to live together; that could just be a whole other problem altogether.

 “Look I know it’s a lot to ask and believe me if I could, I’d be willing to move to LA. It’s not like I can just ask to be traded there though. But I don’t want you to have to do this on your own.” It was awfully sweet of him to want to be there for you, and not just the baby. You’d just assumed that he’d want to see the baby on some weekends and maybe an extended time during the summer when he was off. “You don’t realize this yet, but there’s going to be a whole hockey family here for you. That’s just the way it is in this sport.” He grasped your hands then, the gesture one pleading in and of itself for you to see his side of things. “We can do this (Y/N), together.”

 Together, it sounded so nice. You knew that if he had decided to sign the papers that being a single mom was going to be tough, but now knowing that he wanted to be there every step of the way eased some of the burden you felt. It was just hard to think about giving up the life you’d built for yourself in LA. You were already giving up so much as it was. “I get what you’re asking, I really do. I just…it’s a lot.” His thumb started to run back and forth across your knuckles, softly urging you to his side without him even knowing it. “Can I think about it?”

 “Of course.”

 “I mean we don’t have to decide everything tonight.”

 “No, we don’t.” He smiled at you. The same one he gave you when you’d been in Vegas. It gave you butterflies in your stomach back then as it did now. “How are you feeling?”

 “Pretty good, I get a little queasy now and then; mostly when I’m hungry. I’ve learned to carry crackers with me everywhere.”

 “Well, I could make you something or we could order.” The fact that he even offered scored points in your book and was definitely a check on his side of the box for moving to Vancouver, and you were kind of hungry.

 “I mean, I haven’t really eaten.” He gave you a disapproving stare and you felt the need to justify why you hadn’t. “I was too nervous before.”

 “Well, then let’s get you something to eat.” Jacob led you out to the kitchen, where he took out some chicken along with some vegetables to stick in the oven. The two of you worked side by side getting dinner ready. You were midway chopping up some zucchini when Jacob brought the baby back up again. “You mentioned something about the heartbeat. Were you able to hear it?”

 “I have to schedule an ultrasound when I get back but they said that I should be able to.”

 “Mmm.” You weren’t exactly sure what that little hum meant. Was that a good hum, or a bad one? You stayed silent waiting for him to say more. “Do you think you could record it for me?”

 Why did your heart just flutter when he asked that? Was it because he wanted to hear the baby or was it because you were realizing how much he would be missing when you went back to LA? “I will,” you finally told him, but then had an even better idea. “Though you know, I’m here for four more days. Maybe we could find a doctor that would be able to do it while I’m here.”

 His face lit up, like a little boy on Christmas morning. “You would do that?”

 “Yeah. If we can find a doctor to squeeze us in.”

 “I’ll take care of it.” He pulled out his phone, you weren’t sure if he was searching for gynecologists or texting someone, either way, it was adorable how he just jumped in at the first mention of being a part of this whole pregnancy. Again, he was showing you just how nice it would be to share this with him. Ten minutes later he had an appointment all set for you in two days.

 During dinner you talked about how you had found out you were pregnant, telling him the story of how Kennedy was the one to point out your nausea wasn’t normal and that you should take a pregnancy test. She was the only one that knew you were pregnant. You swore her to secrecy, hoping that she wouldn’t spill the beans this time like she had about a certain movie star. Surprisingly, he wanted to know everything, though there wasn’t too much to tell. By the time you got the mess cleaned up from dinner, you were starting to feel the weariness of the day.

 “I think I’m going to head over to the hotel. I still need to check in. Hopefully, I’ll be able to sleep better tonight, now that you finally know.”

 “Stay.” The word fell out of Jacob’s mouth in almost an authoritative manner, which belied the puppy dog look on his face. He cleared his throat and tried again. “I mean you could stay here if you wanted. Sort of like a tryout or something.”

 “You mean trial run?” Leave it to his athletic side to call it a tryout. It made you laugh.

 “Yeah. We could just take the next few days and see how we do together.” It wasn’t a bad idea. “You call and cancel the hotel and I’ll go grab your bag from the car.” He was halfway to the door before you actually agreed.

 As Jacob went outside, he contemplated with himself as to where he should put your things. Did he just bring your luggage to his room or should he give you one of the spare rooms? Despite the fact you were carrying his child, his body still wanted you as much, if not more, than when you were in Vegas. He just wasn’t sure where you saw things going.

 You were just hanging up the phone when he walked back into the house and unbeknownst to him, you were wondering the same thing. However, your head kept telling you that if the two of you were going to make this work, you needed to keep things out of the bedroom, at least for now. Jacob must have had the same thought as you, for when he came in, he said, “Here, I’ll show you where the spare bedroom is.” The room was spacious but again, it wasn’t that homey, and occurred to you that if you decided to live here, you’d definitely need to make some changes. “Did you maybe wanna watch a movie or something, or are you tired?”

 You could see he was struggling in this unchartered territory as much as you were, and while you were exhausted; you still wanted to spend time with him, to see if moving to Vancouver was even an option. “I’d love to watch a movie. Do you mind if I change first?”

 “No, not at all.” He fidgeted with the back of his neck a bit, before turning to leave. “I’ll meet you back downstairs.”

 You really wanted to take a hot shower and crawl into bed, but instead, you opted for just washing up quickly and slipping on a pair of pajamas you’d brought. It was still warm in LA, though the nights were a bit cooler. All you brought to sleep in were a couple pairs of shorts and some comfy t-shirts, thinking that you’d be in a hotel room by yourself. Now, you were wishing that you’d thought about it a little more and packed something a little warmer, if not more modest. Why you cared, you weren’t sure, considering this man had seen you completely naked several times.

 Jacob had changed into some sweats by the time you got downstairs. He had bottles of water for you both along with a pack of crackers laying on the coffee table, and you had to admit your heart melted a little bit when you saw that. “So, what kind of movies do you like? I remember you saying no horror.”

 “We don’t have to watch a movie. I know the Bruins are playing tonight and that you play them tomorrow. Why don’t you just turn the game on?” He looked surprised that you knew his schedule, but you did a deep dive finding out as much information as you could once you found out you were pregnant. He was going to be the baby's father, even if he would've decided not to be in your child's life, though now that he decided he wanted to be, the information was even more useful.

 “Are you sure?” You nodded giving him the go-ahead to watch his opponents’ play. “Speaking of that, would you be interested in going to the game? I mean I know someone who could get you a ticket on short notice?” He looked so adorable when he asked you couldn’t tell him no.

 “I’d love to.” You’d watched very few hockey games live, though ever since Las Vegas, you’d been following the Canucks, well, more like Jacob. It would be fun to see him in action.

 “Great, I can leave you a ticket or have Erik’s fiancé come and take you. You’ll love her.”

 Jacob really wanted you to jump in with both feet, didn’t he? You weren’t quite sure if you were ready to meet all his friends and teammates, but you supposed that if you moved here this would be a part of your life. “If she wouldn’t mind that would be great.”

 “I’ll text him now.”

 “Jacob,” you stopped him, just by saying his name. “Can we keep the baby our secret for now? I know Kennedy knows and I don’t expect you to keep it to yourself, but I don’t want to broadcast it either. At least until we know what we’re doing.”

 He took your hand in his, the gesture reassuring. “Yeah (Y/N), we can do that.”

 It wasn’t long before your attire got the best of you and you found yourself tucking your feet underneath you on the couch trying to keep them warm. You thought that Jacob was fully absorbed in the game, but he caught the subtle movement. “Are you cold?”

 “A little.”

 He scooted your closer to him, his large frame wrapping around yours. You weren’t sure if it was his body heat or him just holding you, but it was definitely warmer in seconds, though Jacob still covered you with a throw blanket that was on the couch. “Better?”

 “Much.” It wasn’t long before you found yourself dozing off. The stress of the day and travel wearing on you. Your head fell softly against his shoulder and you sighed in contentment.

 Jacob felt your body relax against him and he savored the feel of it. He’d honestly missed this closeness to another person in a completely non-sexual way and having you in his arms just felt right. He should’ve been paying attention to the game, scouting out his opponents but instead all he could do was watch you, even before you fell asleep. His fingers were idly stroking your bare arm under the blanket, slowly inching their way down to your wrist. He didn’t realize they’d made their way to your midsection until they were there; just lightly caressing you, scared he would wake you, but he had to touch you there. He’d been dying to all night but been afraid to ask as if it was almost an invasion of your privacy even though you were carrying his child. His child. The thought both terrified him and thrilled him. Jacob always wanted kids; knew that someday he would have them. He just didn’t think it would be this soon. He always assumed that he’d start his family after hockey was over, but here he was with a wife and child on the way. It was something he hadn’t bargained for and never saw coming. Apparently, what happened in Vegas was a lot more than he gambled on.

 taglist: @iculyrea​  @fiveholegoal​  @raysofcrosby @leafs-lover​ @sexysidney87​ @lovethepreds​  @miranda0102​  @stbluesbrat21  @perrieeloise  @mandypants95​  @hockeyunits​  @liz96893  @golfergirl1982​  @princessphilly​  @ajstylesworld​  @zinka8  @dontworrybeekappy​  @hiimana  @meishaabae​ @heatherawoowoo @beauvibaby @hockeybabe87 @leafs-forever

.

[sailorhyunjinz]

~ 𝕋𝕒𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕡𝕚𝕔𝕥𝕦𝕣𝕖𝕤 𝕠𝕗 𝕪𝕠𝕦 ~

Part III

© sailorhyunjinz 2021; Rights Reserved

All picture rights to their respective owners.

ℂ𝕠𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕥: Photographer!Hyunjin x fem!model!reader, manager!Bangchan, stylist!Jisung, agedup!straykids, SMUT, fluff, character driven story, stranger to lovers, summer!au, soft!dom hyunjin x fem!reader, PIV, penetrative sex, protected sex (wow first time writing that, good on ya cher) sexual photos/pictures taken during sex, semi-public sex, orgasm (m/f), cum, fingering, blowjob, light choking, praise kink, handkink??

𝕎𝕠𝕣𝕕 ℂ𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕥: 5.4 k

ℕ𝕠𝕥𝕖: am so creative with the office numbers? right? tell me im creative LMAO

oh god this was a fucking pain in the ass to read through i cringed at every sentence so hopefully my pain will be your pleasure

Taking pictures of you - MASTERLIST

ONE｜TWO｜THREE

Unlike any other day you couldn’t get out of bed. A boulder of nervousness plaguing you. Through the cracks of the blinds the sun shined in, small particles of dust floating around your resting figure. You were wide awake yet you felt asleep, your thoughts consuming your mind as the dimly lit room became brighter as time ticked on.

You were thinking, perhaps overthinking. This whole situation with Hyunjin seemed confusing and happened way to fast, your psyche not having a moment to digest the events that unfolded during the last couple of days.

Love was a feeling you were familiar with. You knew how it felt. Those butterflies in ones stomach, fluttering everytime a thought of the person passes through your ones.

You felt the same feeling everytime you thought of Hyunjin.

How his soft lips would feel against your cheek that was hot from just looking at his beauty. How his blond hair falls in his face everytime he puts it into a ponytail, his silver decorated fingers tucking the stray pieces behind his pierced ear. These thoughts alone would make your heart beat faster than ever, you eyes clouding with lust even if you knew that this relationship would be impossible given the status the both of you have in this judging industry.

Pushing the covers aside, you sat up before slowly stepping out, your feet hitting the cold flooring of the apartment. You stretched your arms upwards, feeling your spine extend as you squinted, a ray of sunshine hitting you right in the eyes.

The boulder in your chest didn’t feel any lighter but you still got up, wanting time to fly by fast just so you could see his face once again.

♡

No amount of mindfulness exercises could calm the churning of your stomach. The clock in your living room ticked as you watched it with careful eyes, waiting for the time to hit precisely half past before you got up from the couch and shuffled over to the wardrobe, only being stopped from a pling on your phone.

[Bangchan] y/n! can you come by in about an hour? need to discuss some concept photos, sorry for such short notice ❤️

That’s when it hit you. Bangchan didn’t know anything about this. He didn’t know that you’d seen the photos from the shoot and most importantly that you went on a date with the photographer. You could only describe the feeling as ‘improper’. Bangchan was after all one of the closest people in your life, he made you to who you are today and lying to him felt wrong but you shielded your eyes from the truth as you typed back.

[y/n] soz, got plans

[Bangchan] I don’t see any other meeting scheduled for today?

[y/n] you do know that I have a life outside of work? take the day off Chan, you could use some rest ❤️

[Bangchan] Don’t worry about me! You have fun alright?

[y/n] alright, see you next week then ^^

You clicked on the off button on your phone, making the text messages disappear. Getting paranoid, you plopped down on the couch, thinking about every possible way you could get caught which you’d already been, photos of you and Hyunjin circulating throughout social media but they mustn’t have reached Bangchan just yet. You felt like digging a hole underground, wanting to hide away from all these thoughts. The main thought in your mind was whether or not you understood Hyunjin’s intentions. 

What if this love was one sided? 

Waveing your hand in the air, you attempted to get the mind out of your head as if you were breaking up a cloud of real thoughts. You glanced up at the clock and only then realised that you were running late, as usual.

“Wear whatever you want”

Was what Hyunjin said last time but that didn’t make it easier to choose an outfit. Standing infront of multiple racks of clothing you pulled up the weather application on your phone. “Sunny” you mumbled, making you gravitate towards a beige croptop with white stripes around the neckline as well as a white tennis skirt. Not too dressed up but not too dressed down either, just right. Clothes were flying everywhere when you searched for a pair of white socks to pair with your white high platform sneakers. You put the outfit on, observing yourself in the mirror and smiling, trying to get yourself in a better mood rather than being a nervous wreck. Pulling up your phone, you snapped a picture and sent it to the person who knew best about fashion. Jisung.

[y/n] Sungie! Is this acceptable for a impromptu photoshoot?

The fashionable boy replied minutes later.

[Jisung] oh!! that’s so cute! very much acceptable in my book 🥺

You smiled at his reply

[y/n] phew! good... 

[Jisung] is it a date?

Your fingers froze above the keyboard on the phone. Was it that noticeable? Was this really a date? 

[y/n] no!!!

[Jisung] you sure, i saw those photos on social media. ahh.. y/n dating famous photographers now...

By this point you were sweating bullets. 

[y/n] first of all, i’m not meeting him and second of all, he’s a friend so shut it. 

[Jisung] hahah alright alright... i won’t tell Bangchan

[y/n] you have nothing to tell!! we’re friends just like you and I so be quiet otherwise i’ll come over there with balloons, popping them in your face.

[Jisung] oh wow... im so scared...

[y/n] need to leave, if i hear something about you spreading some rumors i’ll seriously do it.

[Jisung] Photo Attachment.

The photo that popped up was from yesterday and your breath hitched. You couldn’t help but to notice the way Hyunjin was looking at you, his eyes filled what seemed like adoration. 

[Jisung] yeah because that totally doesn’t look like a date

[y/n] DON’T TELL BANGCHAN PLEASE

[Jisung] oh so it is a date? alright, i won’t! have fun and be safe

[y/n] be safe? we’re taking pictures, not drag racing

[Jisung] hahah stop playing innocent

Your eyes widened in realisation.

[y/n] you crazy fucker

[y/n] I WILL DESTROY YOUR ENTIRE WARDROBE IF YOU DON’T SHUT UP I DON’T SLEEP ON THE FIRST DATE

[Jisung] Whatever you say

Thanks to Jisung you were now running dangerously late leading to you snatching objects from all corners of the apartment before ordering a cab that would arrive in minutes.

♡

“We’ve arrived, miss” the cab driver says, smiling at you through the rear-view mirror. You thank him and step out of the yellow car, a smell of car exhaust hitting your nose. The cab drives away, leaving nothing but a small cloud of smoke. You looked up, almost not seeing the tip of the building as the skyscraper towered over you. You’re beside the busy road, mouth agape. You’d walked by a couple of times but knowing that you knew the person that owned at least a bit of the building made you giddy. 

You walked in and was greeted by a grand lobby, a front desk as big as the wall behind it. The entire place was filled with people, everyone from business men in suits to trainee models in the most flamboyant outfits. Fishnet stockings, heavy chains and distressed jeans that consisted of more air then jeans material. The sun shined through the many glass panes that made up most of the ceiling and the slight breeze of the air conditioner made this whole vibe of the building comforting. 

“Hi! y/n y/l/n, meeting Hwang Hyunjin” you say to the receptionist that was a relatively old woman, probably in her early 60′s. She was wearing a white button down shirt with her hair in a high bun, a couple of gray strands sticking out. Her red painted mouth contorted into a smile. 

“y/n, Hyunjin said that you could make your way to his office without the guards. You must be a close friend” 

You smiled shyly with your warm cheeks, looking at either side of the desk where two tall buff men were standing, wearing walkie talkies on their black vests. With a small nod, you started speaking. 

“W-where exactly is his office?”

“Floor 20, his main office is in room 03″

“Thank you!” 

You quickly shuffled over to the elevators, pushing the button that lit up with orange light emitting. 

PLING

The doors to the elevator opened and you stepped inside, a couple of office workers joining you and pressing the necessary buttons to make the elevator lift off. 

You step out at the 20th floor, looking around at all the intricate wall design, everything inspired by ancient greece which explains the broken vases that were scattered across the hallway in the most unconventional places. They were all encapsulated with glass and standing on tall white pillars, the vases looking rather sad, being in a spectra of ashy grey colors, every single one of them falling apart. 

Stopping, you observed this one vase that caught your attention. It had swirly details around the edge and was shattered in a rather beautiful way. It made you think how even the most broken pieces still carry beauty, beauty unique to only oneself. 

“It’s pretty right?”

The voice sounded familiar and warm, almost as if it had anticipated your arrival. 

“y-yeah, it really is” 

You say turning around, nearly jumping up on the wall when seeing the figure that looked back at you. It was Hyunjin.

Yet again, his presence was astonishing. Everytime you met him it felt as if you’d met him for the first time. The blond boy was standing tall in front of you, wearing a black hoodie, black basketball shorts and a matching headband. A backpack was thrown across his one shoulder and a smaller camera around his neck, everything about his appearence looking completely different from the last time you saw him, his style usually more sophisticated. 

“On your way to meet me, yeah?” he asked and you nodded shyly. 

“My office is the other way, you know?”

You lifted your gaze to look at the tiny sign on the wall that pointed in two directions, you were walking down the hallway for offices 20-40 by accident and you smiled awkwardly, scratching the back of your head. 

“I didn’t know heh...” 

“It’s alright! Come with me, I was on my way to the studio”

“What room is that? Your office?”

“No, the room next to my office, come! I’ll show you!”

He grabbed your hand and you felt your body stiffen as he dragged you down the hallway, his hand not being decorated with statement rings this time, instead feeling soft and warm. You blanked out, your legs walking by themselves. 

He stopped at a brown door, a tiny gold sign saying « 04 » and beside it a transparent sign stating that this was a photography studio. Hyunjin opened the door and dragged you in, closing the door behind you.

A cold wind hit your warm body, the air conditioner blasting it’s breeze with a faint sound. The room was wide, one wall being made completely out of glass, stand close enough and you could peer down the bustling city filled with people, cars and buildings. The typical photoshoot setup was already in place, the camera being propped up infront of a white backdrop, a white pilar in the middle and two boxlights standing unlit behind the camera. In the corner stood a vintage brown leather couch, the swirly metal details were concealed with a layer of chipped gold paint. Beside the couch stood a simple white table. A black bucket rested on the floor and upon closer inspection you noticed plants, multiple stems of eucalyptus poking out, wrapped in cellophane.

“What are these for?” 

You sat down on your knees infront of the bucket while Hyunjin was pressing buttons on the camera that was screwed onto the tripod before walking over to the table and placing down the camera he had around his neck, his backpack lying lazily on the floor. He looked at your crouching figure, the corners of his lips going upwards.

“I thought they’d suit you”

You held in one of the stems, turning your head and looking at his shy smile, his dimples sitting playfully on the sides of his cheeks. You giggle, standing up and leaning against the white pillar, holding the plant in your both hands. 

“Do they?”

Hyunjin walked towards the steadied camera, bending down and peeking through the lens.

“They do”

click

Your eyes widen, him snapping a picture without you paying attention.

“Hey! I wasn’t even prepared!” you chuckle, pointing at the blonde boy with the long plant that was dripping at the stem. 

“Nature is a bit more beautiful when caught off guard, don’t you think?” Hyunjin says, his honey-like voice, echoing through the room.

You nod, staring down at the leafs of the plant, rubbing them between your thumb and pointer finger. 

click

click 

click

“Try leaning with your butt against the pillar and with one foot fully on the side of the pillar”

You did as he told, the pillar being surprisingly stable.

“Tilt your head and look down to the right”

Once again, you follow his instruction and he hums in satisfaction before pushing the button on the camera twice.

click

click

Your warm face turned into a smile, laughing loudly from embarrassment when he observed the pictures on his display. He snickers quietly from shyness, a faint blush brushing across his features as his brown eyes were glued to the screen. Hyunjin peeks up from the camera, seeing you looking down at the backdrop that was filled with ashy grey shoeprints. 

The sound of his footsteps got closer until you saw them in your periferal view causing you to look up at his tentative face. He smiles, displaying his pearly white teeth and crescent shaped eyes before stretching his hand out, feather light fingertips grazing your hot cheek as he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, your dainty gold earrings now visible. Hyunjin’s hand lingers on your jaw as he looks at you with a gleam in his eyes, you gulping loudly as your gaze lowers to his pouty pink lips. Leaning forward, Hyunjin tilts his head, attaching his lips onto yours, your heart skipping a beat from the comforting feeling of having him close to you. 

You drop the fragile twig on the floor, kissing him back by pursing your lips and tilting your head as well. The romantic tension that has been bubbling on the surface everytime you met had finally subsided, now the air overflowed sexual tension. 

Cupping his blushed cheeks, you deepen the kiss my licking his plump bottom lip, coaxing his tongue that eventually slipped into your mouth. His hands were firmly planted on your waist, pulling you closer to his body that radiated heat in the already scorching summer weather. 

The two tongues danced around in a impatient manner, the two of you dreaming of this moment since meeting. Hyunjin’s hands roamed over all the valleys of your body, placing his hands on the bottom of your butt, pulling you even closer, close enough to feel his semi-erection against your abdomen. Your eyes spring open in realisation, your body melting in his arms as you felt the effects of the deep kiss, the effects being you unable to control the wet patch that was forming on your underwear, nothing but the thin fabric seperating it from the air due to you wearing a skirt. 

Pulling away from the kiss, your hot breath and a line of saliva was the only thing that seperated you and Hyunjin. You shielded your face from his twinkling eyes, you glancing at the blonde boy through the gaps between your fingers. His two hands grip your wrists, pulling your hands down as he smiles widely

“Don’t hide that pretty face”

Hyunjin giggles, your chuckles following shortly after. The boy grips your wrist tightly, walking backwards as he looks intensely into your eyes, his back falling against the couch as you sit down on the couch on your knees, he looks at you for a moment before attaching his lips again, pushing you down and hovering above you. The wet sounds of the sloppy kiss fills your ear, you helplessly rubbed your thighs together in anticipation. His fingertips trailed down your chest, tracing small circles on the inside of your thigh before plunging down under your skirt, grazing the wet spot on your underwear. The both of you smile into the kiss. 

“Can I?” Hyunjin says, momentarily pulling away from your sweet lips and tugging on the edge of your panties. You nod shyly, not believing that this is happening. 

His lanky fingers run up and down your wet folds as you put your hand at the back of his neck, pulling his blushing face closer to yours and pursing your lips to kiss him sensually. Hyunjin’s fingers gently brush up against your clit that was swollen from excitement, sending shivers down your spine. 

You knew this was wrong, the door wasn’t even locked meaning that anyone could walk in at any moment but the way lips felt on yours made a thousand fireworks ignite, sparking from your chest. Wrapping your hand around his wide wrist, you guide his fingers down to your sopping entrace, your entire body craving him inside of you.

Hyunjin places once last peck on your soft lips before looking at you with concern, asking for permission with his fluffy brown eyes. You nod, your eyelashes gently fluttering over your eyes. His middle finger slips into you with ease, shortly followed by a second finger from seeing how good your cunt swallowed his digits, your essence coating them. A faint gasp escapes your lips as his fingers felt around your velvety walls, the whole situation still feeling like a dream. 

“D-does it feel good?” 

“mhm!” you hum, nodding your head as your grasp around his wrist tightens everytime he curls his fingers upwards. Small whimpers came from you as his fingers started pumping in and out, the blond boy chuckling at your reaction. 

“Did you think I was innocent?” 

The question lingers in the air as you look at him in the eyes.

“Y-yes,,,” just as the question you let the answer hang in the air as Hyunjin hummed, being knuckles deep into you and curling his fingers upwards once more, making you choke on your own moan. Hyunjin nodded slowly, glancing down at your body as he thought.

“It’s because,,, because you’re shy,, different from the others.” You added quickly, filling the silence that was soon interupted by your whimpers as the so called ‘innocent boy’ started circling your sensitive bud with his thumb. 

“I think you’re different from the others, you make me like this baby”

Hyunjin said, seconds later crashing his lips against yours, his tongue attacking yours. He retracted his fingers, the tips coated in your juices and glistening in the sunlight. You whined inbetween kisses, the feeling of being empty leaving you disappointed. Hyunjin’s veiny hands trailed up your stomach, pulling the croptop up and resting it just above your boobs, your white bra exposed. 

Hyunjin pulled away from the kiss, the both of you breathless as the kisses you exchanged were anything but light. His two damp fingers made their way to his mouth, licking them with a slight smirk on his lips. You could go crazy from the sight alone, his big brown eyes turning blank with lust. Not being able to control yourself any longer, you sat up on your knees and pulled off the top, unclasping your bra while you’re at it. As the fabric hit the floor, Hyunjin’s eyes darted to your bare tits, the wind from the air conditioner stiffening your two sensitive buds. You looked at him with a jumbled expression, him staring at your nipples for what seemed like an eternity. You hummed softly, causing him to snap back into reality, the blond boy pulling the black hoodie up from his head, displaying the defined muscles on his abdomen. You wanted him, you wanted him so bad. 

Your knees hit the floor with a thump as looked up at Hyunjin, knealing between his two legs and watching the tent in his loose shorts grow. 

“Do you really want to do this,, y/n,, you don’t have t-”

You hushed before speaking.

“Don’t worry, Hyunjin” you say with a stern voice making Hyunjin shiver, not knowing if it’s from your tone of voice or the way his name rolled of your tongue.

The blonde boy grabbed the small camera that was resting on the table, you looked up at him with confusion before smiling at his pleading eyes that met yours. You nodded, knowing exactly what he wanted to do and giving him permission since you never knew if he’d get to see you like this ever again. 

You hook your two hands on the sides of his shorts and underwear, pulling the fabric down as Hyunjin awkwardly lifts his hips up from the couch for a moment, allowing you to slide the both garments down in one nimble motion. His veiny length sprung out, the tip hitting his abdomen for a moment before resting infront of your eyes, a bead of precum already leaking from his delicate slit. You gulp, the task of sucking him off suddenly seeming daunting. Hyunjin must have noticed since his face turned concerned, a half smile flashing across his lips. 

“y/n,, you don’t have to-aghh!”

Hyunjin was cut of by his own breathy moan, your pursed lips wrapping around his leaking tip, licking small kitten licks before sinking deeper down his impressive length. Hyunjin’s blonde hair fell out of his face when his head rolled back in pleasure, resting it against the back of the rustic couch. 

“f-fuck y/n,,, just- just like that”

He hummed out, his sweet voice intoxicated with desire. Your tongue swirled around his pretty red tip, simultaneously stroking the part doesn’t fit inside of your wet mouth. Multiple shutters of the camera was heard, his hand barely stable enough to hold it due to the pleasure that was shooting through his core. It didn’t take long before his dick twitched against you lips, your cheeks hollowed as bob up and down his girth. His eyes rolled back into his skull as his hand went down to cup your cheek, your eyes stinging with tears as you choked around him. Pulling off with a pop, his dick glimmered as a heavy layer of saliva rested on it, his already warm body turning hotter. He looks down at you, a smug half-smile errupting on his lips as he continued to stroke your cheek, his thumb grazing your cheekbone as he flicked through the photos on his camera, the half-smile now a full on expression of happiness. The two of you sat like that for a while, the silence engulfing the room as you observed his indescribable features. His sharp jawline contrasted with his soft skin that had a dust of rose pink across the cheeks, his moles adding to his charm. 

“Fuck me, Hyunjin”

The words slipped out of your mouth, his brown shiny eyes widening before being overtaken by a blank gaze, placing the silver camera back on the tiny table. 

“You thought I would stop here?”

Now it was your turn to be flustered, his sugary sweet voice interlaced with the cocky words making you even wetter then before, if that’s even possible. Without answering, he pulled you up to the couch by your hand and laying you down before realising what he forgot. The blond boy reached for the baggy backpack laying on the white floor, unzipping the front pocket and fishing out a condom. You nodded shyly, feeling your hands getting sweatier from nervousness, not really sure where to put them. Hyunjin noticed your gaze that was running all over the room, your body slightly tense. The boy snickered, ripping the shiny wrapping open with his hands where veins had started to become apparent. 

“Something wrong?” He asks shyly, placing the condom on his leaking tip before rolling the rubber onto his length. You shake your head.

“J-just thinking,,,” you say, your voice fading out at the end. 

“About?” His voice inhibiting a questionable tone as he holds himself up above you, his elbows on either side of your head. 

“A-about,,, you” 

That was a lie. You thought about how this would end up being disclosed to your company and your friends, Felix would snap your head if he found out that you slept with Hyunjin. Did it even have to be disclosed? Couldn’t it just be a secret between you and Hyunjin? As much as you wish that it could, it simply couldn’t. Not working in this industry. 

Hyunjin smiled softly, his hand trailing down the curves of your body before lifting up the fabric of your skirt, his fingers pushing your panties aside and feeling your throbbing pussy once again. His caramel eyes looked into you the entire time. 

Lifting himself up, he positioned the tip of his member at your sopping entrance, you chuckling softly as he gripped your hips but your chuckle was quickly replaced by a loud gasp, his dick stretching out your tight pussy better than you thought. 

“Are you ok, y/n?” 

He said softly, his dick not even halfway in but already jerking from your welcomingly wet and warm cunt wrapping around his crimson tip. You nodded, looking up at him. 

“Pl-please,, keep going Hyunjin”

The blonde boy blushed, his ears turning red. Tightening the grip on your hips he fully entered you, you shutting your eyes tightly from the slightly painful but pleasurable experience. Glancing down at you, he had to use every bit of discipline to not pound into you. In his eyes you looked angelic. Your parted lips that we’re coated by saliva and the way your skirt bunched up around your waist made it feel like torture to be inside of you, not moving to let you adjust to his size. 

“C-can I move?” He asks impatiently to which you smile, nodding and wrapping your legs around him, pulling him closer to your warm body. Your breath hitched as he softly wraps his hand around your neck, him thinking he’d gone too far.

“I-im sorry! I-” 

You hush him, placing your index finger over his plush pink lips. 

“I’ll tell you if anything doesn’t feel good, alright?” You so desperatly wanted to place a “baby” at the end of the sentence, that nickname fitted him but being to scared to confess your feelings. Just because he wants you doesnt mean he loves you. Hyunjin nodded like an excited puppy, finally getting the permission of moving and feeling your clenched walls around his length, his one hand still wrapped around your throat. 

His thrusts were slow, filled with passion which only worsened your longing for him, the longing of him being yours. Small whimpers dripped from between your parted lips, the moans being mixed with Hyunjin’s low grunts and sounding like a melody. You peeked up at the model-like boy, his expression being synonymous to pleasure. The movements eventually quickened, his long cock hitting your cervix with every thrust, making you put your hands behind his back, your fingernails digging into his soft honey skin. His previously closed eyes fluttered open, watching you with a soft gaze through his fierce eyes. You smiled and he smiled back before his gaze drifted away from yours.

“Y-you feel so good y-y/n,,, you’re an angel”

Chuckling and moaning at the same time, his praise gave you a sense of security but also a sense of lust, wanting to coax out even more dangerously sweet words from his pretty mouth. 

“Go faster,,, Hyunjin”

You gasped out, the pleasure starting to pick up it’s pace. The sound of skin slapping against each other bounced off the white walls in the big studio, the old sofa creaking ever so often from the blond boys powerful thrusts. Hyunjin would never get tired of hearing you say his name, never. 

The knot in your stomach signaled your impending orgasm as your walls were stretched out. You pleaded him to not stop, your voice sounding frail as you neared your sweet release. The hot tempeture wasn’t helping the situation, sweat beading underneath Hyunjins headband, soaking the two strands of blonde locks that hanged infront of his face. 

“F-fuck,, y/n you’re so pretty with my hands wrapped around your throat, fuck-” 

A loud groan escaped his lips, the pleasure of your wet pussy against his rock-hard length getting too much, Hyunjin having to hold back until you came, not wanting to appear selfish. It wasn’t long until you felt your legs shaking around him, your toes curling as the squeaky sound from the couch increased along with the speed of Hyunjin’s thrusts, the rubber not giving him as much intimacy as he would have liked but the visual of you lying beneath him, squirming away from bliss and softly moaning made up for it. 

“I think- i think I’m cumming, s-shit Hyunjin, I’m cumming”

The words spilled from you, quickly followed by a incoherent mumbling of his name before a wave of hot flashed through your entire body, your walls clenching around him as your erotic juices coated his twitching cock. You held your hands against your face that was lightly coated with sweat but before you could come down from your high Hyunjin pinned your hands above your head by your wrists, him letting out a growl before his cum filled the tip of the condom. The both of you rode out your powerful orgasm, your moans softening as the intense feeling subsided, Hyunjin shivering with his last thrust before pulling out. 

The light sound of the air conditioner was now accompanied with heavy panting, your chest heaving as Hyunjin softly pulled down your skirt and ran his hand through his blonde hair, pushing the stray hairs away before rolling off the cumfilled condom and throwing it on the floor, the rubber landing on the dark clothing that were pooling next to the leather couch. The young boy lays down beside you, your eyes fixed on the ceiling as you faded away in a million thoughts, still trying to process what just happened. You turned your head against his, feeling his lingering gaze on your face and you swore you could hear your heart beat in your ears as his cheekbones lifted, his now cherry red lips turning into a soft smile. 

“Do you like me?” 

You choked on your own saliva, coughing and sitting up in panic making Hyunjin worry, him patting you on the back as he sat up next to you. 

“I-im sorry,, I shouldn’t have- y/n,, so-sorry”

He mutters out as you start laughing, he looking confused at your chuckling figure. 

“T-that’s,,, quite the direct question” you say, clearing your throat before continuing. “I don’t know Hyunjin. You know that this isn’t possible”

You saw his previously twinkling eyes turn blank, his heart sinking. 

“Uhm,,, n-no totally not,,, I just said it to-”

He tried to play cool, brushing off the fact that he didn’t get the answer he so longed for. His gaze turning away from your angelic face.

“But I like you”

You spoke quietly, your voice cracking at the end. Hyunjin turned back to you.

“Why wouldn’t it work then?” he asked with a confused voice. You sighed

“Hyunjin, do you not know who you are? We fucked in a building where you own half of the rights, you work with famous people and your work is in every magazine, don’t you understand?”

He stayed silent for a while, comtemplating on what to say before grabbing your clammy hand. 

“Do you only see me for my career?”

You shake your head, trying to catch eye contact with the blonde boy but failing as he stares down at your small hand in his grasp. 

“Hyunjin, I love you but this feels way to quick,,, I can’t just-”

“I’ve known about you for a while, y/n. Do you know why we even worked together in the first place?” 

Hyunjin speaks calmly, a thin string of sadness threading through his voice. You shake your head, looking at him but he looking away.

“I reached out to Bangchan first”

You weren’t surprised, only confused. What did he see in you? 

“I know it might seem,, rushed! But if- if we both like each other then we can make it work. Please don’t worry about our reputations, you are more than your career y/n even if it means the world to you.”

Hyunjin hesitated finishing his sentence, feeling sick to his stomach from the fear of rejection. You withdrew your hand, instead opening your arms and hugging him to which he smiled and hugged you back, the both of you falling back on the couch facing each other. 

“I think I love you,,, like,,, I really love you”

Hyunjin brushed away a strand of hair from your face, his tender eyes meeting yours. 

“And I love you too, y/n”

𝕋𝕒𝕘𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥

@vogueinnie​ @that-anxious-bisexual @putmetogetheragain13 @hyunsluvv @lawleighette​ @meow-minho @minaamhh @ohmysparkle @hwangi @rindomo @fleeingreality​​​​​​​ @nycol-ie @jisungsplatforms @p0t4t0don14ll @skzstanlol

[twh-news]

‘Loki’ Breakout Sophia Di Martino on Loki’s Coming Out and Tom Hiddleston’s Famous Lecture | Variety

When Sophia Di Martino first auditioned for the Disney Plus series “Loki,” it was in September 2019. A working actor since 2004, the British native has appeared on several British TV series, including “Flowers” and “Election Spy,” and she had supporting role in the 2019 film “Yesterday,” but she hadn’t ever quite landed the breakout role that could move her career to a larger stage.

Enter Sylvie. Introduced at the end of Episode 2 the Marvel Studios “Loki,” she is a “variant” of Tom Hiddleston’s beloved god of mischief, someone who had the same inception point as Loki but whose life unfolded much differently. In Episode 3, Sylvie and Loki spend pretty much the entire hour getting to know each other — and making clear just how critical Sylvie is to the larger story.

Naturally, this kind of role is a massive opportunity, which made how Di Martino ultimately landed it even more shocking to her.

“It was the shortest casting experience I think I’ve ever had,” she says with bewilderment. “I did an audition tape with a very short scene. I wasn’t asked to do it again, and I couldn’t meet anyone because I was heavily pregnant at the time and I couldn’t travel. Tom was in the U.S., everyone else was in the U.S. So we didn’t get to screen test or anything. So I just got the job on the back of this tape, which never happens, and especially with a job like this! It was extremely quick and quite surprising to all involved. Me and my agent were both like, ‘Really? Are you sure? This is crazy? Okay, fine! We’ll do it! We’re in!'”

Once she got the role, however, Di Martino stepped inside Marvel Studios’ vibranium-clad cone of silence. And while she says she’s good at keeping a secret, finally getting to talk about the experience is a massive relief.

“I got this job in September 2019 and only today is the first day I can talk about Sylvie,” she says. “So it’s been quite hard!”

Sylvie really does not see herself as a “Loki.” So how much did you draw from Tom Hiddleston’s performance in his role as Loki when shaping your character?

I looked at his performance, but I try not to be shaped by it too much. Sylvie has had a very different backstory to Loki. She’s a different person, and that was really important to us right from the beginning. When [director] Kate [Herron] pitched me the idea when I finally got the job, and she was able to tell me a bit more about it, it was very clear that Sylvia was Sylvie. And she’s not Lady Loki from the comics. I mean, the show is inspired by the comics, but this is a brand new backstory in a brand new story. And so I wanted to make her my own.

You will see, at times throughout the series, that Tom and I do very similar things, like our physicality is similar or when we choreographed fight scenes, we’ll mirror each other. And that’s all purposely done. And then the rest of it I’ve kind of just made up as I go along.

Tom Hiddleston conducted his famous Loki lecture in advance of the show — did you have a chance to go to it?

Yeah, I was there. It’s one of those things where you can say, ‘I was there!’ It was super interesting and important for me to listen to. He knows so much about the character. He’s been with that character for 10 years. He knows that character unlike anyone else in the world. And to hear all of that information and be able to ask him any question was just really, really important and fun. Like, what a great way to start a job. It got everyone really excited about the show.

How did you and Tom and Kate Herron talk about the scene in which Loki comes out — to the audience, anyway — as bisexual?

I remember Kate being really passionate about it, and that she wanted that to be represented in the show. I think people have been waiting a long time for it. The comic books allude to it and even the Norse mythology, I think. It’s been around for so long, and it was really important to her to have that in the show. But we tried not to let that affect the way we were playing it, you know. We’re just playing it like it’s quite natural conversation between two friends — well, two acquaintances, at that point. So we tried not to give it too much weight, but we knew in the back of our minds how important it was to a lot of people. And I’ve got to say how happy it makes me that people are happy to see that.

A lot of people noticed that the lighting on Lamentis-1 was reminiscent of the bisexual flag. Did Kate take about that being on purpose?

I can’t remember her actually talking about being on purpose. But I know Kate Herron, and I think it probably it was. I think she was probably like, this is gonna be purple, pink and blue, guys! I mean, it looks beautiful.

Tell me a little about yourself. I’d read that you had always even since you were young been really keen on acting?

Yeah, I was one of those annoying kids who’s always like trying to get my sister to do plays in the living room, and always casting myself in the better part and having her play like the Cinderella character. I think it was just an excuse to boss her around. [Laughs] I was one of those really bossy kids. I’ve always I always enjoyed acting at school — I didn’t really know that acting was a job that I could do until I was a little bit older. I wasn’t the kind of kid who would say I want to be an actor, because I think my parents would have just laughed at me. A ridiculous idea! No one in my family is in that world, and it wasn’t really within my grasp. So it was always a little dream that I kept to myself, really. And then I’ve just been quietly chipping away at it for the past 25 years, and here I am!

Owen Wilson has talked about how he was aware of the MCU, but not necessarily the most super knowledgeable person about it. Where do you fall in your awareness and knowledge of of the Marvel Cinematic Universe?

Kind of similar to Owen. I’d seen a few movies, and I was aware of it. And a few of my friends are really into it. And I know that a lot of people are, but I didn’t know that much, to be honest. I’ve learned a lot more being on the show. And from Tom, who is very knowledgeable.

How much of the role did you get to do before lockdown?

I don’t want to get this wrong, but I think it was like three or four weeks of filming. It wasn’t very much at all. It was enough just to start getting in the flow of things and just to start enjoying it before we had to shut down.

In that sort of time period where we were all just sitting with our own thoughts and contemplating the world, did you think more about Sylvie and anything else that you wanted to do with the part?

It was a really great time for letting what we’d already shot sit and percolate. I know Kate and the writers did a lot more work on the storyline when they’d seen what we’d done, you know, cut together so far. From a personal perspective, it was great just to have a little bit more time to think about it. Because the beginning of the shoot, everything happened so quickly. I carried on training with my stunt double, Sara. We would meet up once or twice a week on zoom, and that was really helpful as well, just to physically get into the body of the character. So I had a lot more time to get fit after having a baby.

Part of the pandemic experience for a lot of people has been thinking about the road less travelled, which in Sylvie’s case is the most extreme example — of this person who shares some similar essence with Loki but lived a completely different life. Did that resonate at all for you while playing her?

It’s so interesting to see two characters who are so similar and so different. It was really important to me to reflect the kind of life that Sylvie has had. The costume reflects that as well with the broken horn and the slightly disheveled costume. And little things like keeping more of my regional accent, and not trying to sound too posh or too well spoken, because it just wouldn’t suit the experience that Sylvie’s had. All of those things were were parts of creating this character and this relationship between Tom and I.

So how does how does one audition for a particularly physical role while pregnant?

Well, luckily, the scene that they gave me, I think, ended up being the scene on the train when they both sat down having a conversation. So I didn’t have to stand up. It was just head and shoulders. So you would never know just by looking at the tape. And then I don’t exactly know how it happened. I think it was just lucky that it wasn’t a super physical scene that I had to act out. Trying to do stunts or something, that would have been terrible!

When you got this role, what really were the parameters of who you could talk to, and who you couldn’t, before today?

I can talk to Tom and I can talk to Kate, but I just wasn’t really supposed to say anything else to anyone else. And I’m really good at keeping secrets, so I just didn’t talk to anyone else about it. Tom and I would just call each other and be like, ‘Oh, we need to say all this stuff, because we’ve got to say to anyone else! Ahh! What about this scene and this bit and this bit?!’ And you know, we’d meet up with Kate and do the same thing. So it was kind of just the three of us.

[nintendousimp]

Train of Thought…

Epilogue: Marry Me, Please?

Previous 👈 Master

Word count: 2,9k

Released date: May 25th, 2021

Warnings: NSFW 18+, language and some grammatical errors.

Disclaimer: All Characters in this story are aged up!

I’m sorry I haven’t posted in a while now! Life hasn’t been easy and depression came and gave me absolutely no motivation to finish the story until now. So my apologies for posting it so late 😅😅 but now I’m back and I feel ready to write more! So request are now open once again!

With all that being said. Please enjoy the last part of this now completed story! I hope you all enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

It had been two years since Atsumu and y/n parted ways, and yet, He still remembers that day like it was yesterday. The pain he caused his now ex-wife was something he carried with him for the rest of his life. Even though they’re on friendly terms now. The young man knows his decisions caused the woman he once loved to carry her life without him. Time moves fast when the wounds caused by another heal—something Miya had to learn.

The day Atsumu found out about y/n’s relationship with Akaashi, he was sitting outside of the old coffee shop you both used to go to. Scrolling through his social media, he noticed a picture she posted of her and Keiji at what looks to be a carnival. At first, he’d denied that it saddened him, even brought some painful memories of the past. Still, looking at the photo she took, he can tell that her facial expression gives that of a woman deeply in love. That made Atsumu happy, knowing the girl found love once again.

Done with his coffee, Atsumu signals the waiter. As he’s getting ready to pay, he noticed the young woman making her way towards him. “I hope we didn’t keep you waiting long,” the woman says.“No, not at all. I just got done with my coffee,” Atsumu says. He approaches the woman and gives her a friendly hug. “Thank you for letting me spend the day with our son. I know this must be hard for you, but I very much appreciated it”, He says as he makes his way towards the stroller to pick up the small infant boy.

At first, the boy gave Atsumu a confused look. His brown eyes focused on the sight of the man holding him. The infant stared at his fathers’ eyes for a while before falling asleep in the young man’s arms. “I wish he’d fall asleep as easily as he does with you,” the woman jokingly said. Atsumu smiled at the woman who took her backpack purse off the stroller. “Got a lot of errands to run?” Atsumu asked as he slowly put the boy back in his stroller.

“Not a lot of errands, but you did remind me that I need to stop by the market and pick up some ingredients I don’t have for dinner,” she said while taking her planner out of her bag to write that down. “ Miya san, do you got any plans for today?” she asked while putting away her planner. “We’re going to spend the day with the team going over last week’s game; after that, Bokuto and Shoyo Kun would like to take the baby to the aquarium,” he says. She handed him the diaper bag while he took the stroller from her.

“I hope you guys have a great time; remember not to let him have too many sweets and don’t let him take too many naps, or else he’ll be fussy,” The woman said as she kissed the sleeping boy on the forehead. She said her goodbyes and headed out to run her errands; meanwhile, Atsumu stood there staring at his son in complete awe. Who would’ve thought that he’d be a father?

A few months after the split, Atsumu got a call from your ex-best friend. He found from her that she was pregnant and gave birth a month or two after the divorce. At first, it took him by surprise. It had been almost a year since he last saw her, let alone heard from her. To drop these kinds of news really took everything in his willpower not to freak out.

As soon as Atsumu got off the phone with the woman. He immediately dropped everything and called his younger brother to let him know of the news. At first, Osamu didn’t know how to react to his older brother’s statement. The younger brother didn’t know whether to be disappointed or happy for his brother. To think the world was punishing Atsumu was an understatement. Osamu never believed that a pregnancy would come out of his brothers’ infidelity; he never thought of his brother as the father-type man; nevertheless, he decided it was better to advise his twin brother to take responsibility and be in his sons’ life.

Even if it was the right thing to take responsibility for his son, Atsumu felt like he’s betrayed y/n once again. She often wished to have his children; he remembers the times she’d get up in the morning to check on her cycle to see if she were ovulating. He also recalled that one time you both went shopping at a mall in Tokyo. He thought he lost the girl that day. He later found her in a baby store, looking at the baby outfits. Atsumu saw the joy in y/ns eyes when she picked out and bought two of the infant outfits.

The whole way home, they both talked about baby names and what future their children would have. She had even joked that his genetics would take over their children, and they’d end up being in love with the volleyball like their father. It made Atsumu so happy to know that she daydreamed about having a family with him. At the time, he would’ve wanted nothing more than to give her the life she wanted with him. He would’ve done anything to have children with her, but dreams can become the worst of nightmares.

The disappointment of finding out you would never become a mother really took a toll on you. You had become so depressed you rarely left the house. It took Atsumu months to get you to agree to do something with your free time. Around that time, you begin to take an interest in writing your book while your husband was out of town for volleyball tournaments. Neither Atsumu nor you noticed that you both had distanced yourselves from the other. You both did however noticed how often you’d get into arguments and days where you’d much rather spend your time working away from home than be in the same room as the other.

That night you didn’t come home was all it took for Atsumu to break the bond that shared your marriage. He knew what he’d done; he cheated on you. Atsumu wasn’t dumb, but he found comfort in her. The nights he spent with her (although it was so wrong of him to do!) were nights he felt loved. Atsumu has always had a talent for reading people. It’s what makes him one of the greatest setters in Japan. Your best friend was no different. He knew that she was falling in love with him. However, he told her many times that she meant nothing to him. He knew as well that he was falling for her too.

To avoid feeling that way, he always made sure to remind her every time after they’d fuck that he’d never leave you and never to think otherwise. He knew what he felt for her was more like a coping mechanism rather than love. It was lust and being loved by another woman, something he became so dependant on.

Even though it’s a thing of the past now, Atsumu is happy being a father. “Yer the one person I love the most, I hope you know that, my mini-me,” he said to his sleepy son. “Let us go meet up with your crazy uncles, or they’ll never leave me alone,” Atsumu said while pushing the stroller onto the sidewalk.

When it came to y/n’s love, Atsumu knew there was no way he’d ever win her back. Especially now that her relationship with Keiji is getting pretty serious. The only good thing from his relationship with your now ex-best friend is the child they now co-parent together. At the end of the day, nothing mattered more to Miya Atsumu than his son.

…

The night Keiji came clean of his feelings for y/n, He remembers he smiled at the fact that she was a blushing mess, like a high school girl getting her first confession. That’s what she reminded him of. It was even more shocking for him to know that the girl reciprocated his feelings back. The happiness she brought him that night was one he wanted to keep experiencing with her for many lifetimes to come.

Later that night, he was driving the girl home from the date. Akaashi remembered she had fallen asleep on the passenger seat. Even though he was focused on the road, Keiji couldn’t stop glancing at her every chance he got. He’d always found y/n so beautiful. To the man, this was a surreal moment. He never thought he’d be in love, let alone his feelings be reciprocated back. With just one look from the girl, the man became foolishly in love with her. Keiji dreaded the drive to her house. Part of him wished the morning would never come. He wanted to keep her, even if it was for just a little longer.

When they arrived at y/n’s place. Keji noticed the girl was still sleeping; seeing how peaceful she looked, he decided it would be best to carry the girl and bring her inside. He got out of his car and walked to the front door. Once he unlocked the door, he returned to his car and opened the passenger door. Akaashi unbuckled the girls’ seat belt while trying not to make too much noise and gently picked her up. He made sure to pull her out of the car without moving her around too much.

He shut the car door and made his way inside y/n’s house. Keiji took the girl straight to the bedroom and laid her on the bed while taking her shoes off. Carefully he pulled the comforter from underneath to cover her up. Tucking a loose strand of hair that previously covered part of her face. He stood there for a bit, admiring how peaceful she looked. He leaned in and placed a kiss on her forehead. He got up closer to her ear and whispered, “Can I keep you forever?”

As Akaashi was getting up to leave, he felt the girl’s hand lightly pull on his jacket. “Will you stay with me tonight?” she asked while rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. He blushed at her request. Keiji has spent many nights with y/n. It was usually the nights where they would work on her book or when Bokuto came back from his many trips and wanted to spend time with the both of them. But they never spent the night as a couple. “Please stay with me tonight. I don’t want to fall asleep without you.” Keiji took his jacket off and placed it on her chair. He went to her closet and took out a pair of black shorts and his old volleyball T-shirt from years ago.

While Keiji was changing out his clothes, the girl was slowly drifting back to sleep. Before that could happen, Y/n got up from under the covers and went to get changed into more comfortable clothes. She went back to the room and found Keiji was already under the covers, reading a book he found on her bookshelf. “Ready for bed, sleepyhead?” The girl nodded as she walked towards the bed. Once she was inside the covers, y/n consciously moved closer to Keiji to feel his warmth. He found a stopping point and placed the book on the nightstand next to him.

As she made herself comfortable, y/n was fast asleep; or so Keiji thought. He felt his eyes get heavy. As he was falling asleep,y/n got up close to his ear and responded with, “I’m already yours, Keiji.” She kissed the man on the cheek. The girl laid down and went back to sleep. What y/n didn’t know was that Akaashi heard everything but was too embarrassed to say anything back. He couldn’t believe that she listened to what he said to her. He pulled her closer to him and fell back asleep. After that night, the man knew that he wanted to marry the woman sleeping right next to him.

…

A few years have passed since Akaashi confessed his love to Y/n. As of now, a lot of things have changed. A year and a half ago, before things started to get serious. Keiji had asked the girl to move in with him.

The woman looked at him, shocked. “Did you causally just ask me to move in with you, Keiji?” The man looked up from his computer and said, “yes,” and continued back to typing. The girl couldn’t help blush at how honest and causal Keiji became around her. Over the years they’ve been together, the woman noticed how Keiji loosened up around her quite a lot. He became more affectionate physically and would call y/n cute pet names like my love or darling.

When Keiji went out of town for important meetings, he always made sure to send y/n her favorite flowers to let her know he’s thinking of her. To say that she hadn’t thought about moving in with Keiji would be a complete lie. y/n wanted nothing more than to live with the man she loves, but her mind kept wandering back to the time she and Atsumu lived together. It made her realized she’s been living on her own for quite some time. It made sense to moving in together, but why couldn’t she tell him yes already?

By now, Keiji felt the room go silent. He got up from his chair and walked to the sofa, and sat next to the girl. Placing his large hand on top of hers. “I’m sorry for suggesting us moving in together. I should’ve known it was too soon.” He said. “I want nothing more than for us to live under the same roof finally. But are you sure you want this Akaashi?” y/n asked. She reached to grab his face. It didn’t even take him a second for him to lean into her touch.

“I wouldn’t have asked if I wasn’t sure, my love. It wouldn’t make much of a difference since a lot of your stuff is already at my place.” The girl chuckled at the man’s comment. She pulled his right arm and leaned her face on his large hand. Keiji rubbed circles on her cheek as she stared lovingly into his eyes. “Let’s move the rest of my stuff this weekend. I’ll ask Bo and Omi if they can help out.” He got up from the sofa and pulled y/n up with him for a hug.

He didn’t need to say anything to the girl. She knew how he felt. Keiji couldn’t hide the happiness he felt that night when you agreed to live together. That weekend, Bokuto and part of the MSBY team came and helped get y/n moved into Akaashi’s place. It took her a week to unpack and organize all her belongings.

Living under the same roof took a little to get used to. Not once did Keiji regret his decision to live with y/n. Every day started and ended with her. The number of memories they built over the years they’ve been together as a couple made Akaashi realized he wanted to grow old with this girl.

…

The day their anniversary came. Keiji planned to take y/n to the ocean, where they had their first date. When they arrived, Akaashi found the spot where they had their picnic. He placed the blanket on the ground and signaled the girl to sit down with him. He puts the basket in between them, opens it, and hands her an onigiri. She thanked him for the food as she took a massive bite out of it. He poured sake into one of the cups he brought and gave the drink to the girl. They both ate and drank and conversed for a while.

Once finished with their food. Keiji and Y/n sat in comfortable silence. Watching the sky fill up with stars while listening to the ocean waves. He couldn’t have planned a more perfect date. He glanced at the girl who was still distracted looking at the stars and quickly pulled out the small velvety box from his jacket pocket. He set the picnic basket to the side and moved closer to where y/n was sitting.

Y/n laid her head on Akaashi’s shoulder without taking her eyes away from the view. He kissed the top of her head and rested his head on top of hers. Half an hour went by; Keiji got up from sitting on the ground and pulled the girl up with him. As she was stared into view of the ocean, He got down on one knee and took out the ring from the velvet box.

“Hey, Y/n?” Akaashi asked.

“Yes, Keiji?” she asked as she turns to look down in shock at Keiji, who was on one knee, holding an engagement ring in one hand.

“Marry me, please?”

…

And with that concludes Train of Thought! Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story! I was beyond static to receive so much positive feedback and I truly appreciated!

Summary:

L/N Y/N a young adult working on their first ever book with the help of editor and friend (Akaashi). Discovers that their husband has been cheating on them for the past few months that they’ve  been working nonstop. Heartbroken y/n decides to drown herself in their work. Will they be able to Forgive their cheating husband from his infidelity or will they approach the man who fell in love with them while working on their book?

© All fiction rights of the story belong to @nintendousimp​

Characters belong to Haruichi Furudate.

Taglist: @h0wab0utw3d0ntd0that , @brnda7rdrgz , @tsukkiswifeey

[andguesswhat]

The Fool on the Hill - Chapter 4

The secret behind the Two Gentlemen of Verona and the beginning of Lokius...

Their story on the Archive

Between the shelves

*

Tom’s fingers slid over the spines of the books along the shelves.

MayaAngelou...

William Blake...

Robert Frost...

Ah there we are Shakespeare's poems...

He took an edition of Shakespeare’s poems before 1640 out of the shelf and sat cross legged on the floor.

Camera and lights had to be relocated for the shoot in the library and Tom thought he might spend the break doing something useful.

“Sir?” he heard Owen’s voice imitating a stern security guard, “I’m afraid reading on the floor is prohibited. I have to ask you to get up immediately.”

Tom looked up to a smiling Owen and smiled back. “Why don’t you come down?”

And he did. Owen sat down, leaning at the book shelf opposite, his legs drawn up, smiling at Tom.

“So Shakespeare again?” his head pointed to the book Tom held in his hand.

Tom laughed softly. “Yes, the conversation yesterday got me thinking again.”

Owen nodded and smiled in amusement. “Maybe I get myself a copy of Hamlet to read before bed. What do you think?”

“Good choice, good choice,” Tom reassured him.

And he couldn’t help smiling either. They had been doing this a lot lately. Talking and constantly smiling at each other.

Owen leaned forward to search for the right book, his fingers now also sliding over the spines.

“Ah look at that!” He pulled out a copy of Two gentlemen of Verona and waved it in his hand.

“I read this in college. I always thought: this is about two bisexual guys, right? And the teacher was like,” he mimicked an older Brit, “oh no, this is Shakespearian English, it’s a bit different than you are used to, I guess. He was from England and wanted to show me that I as a stupid kid from Texas could not understand Shakespeare...”

“And oh how wrong they were about you...” Tom remarked and hoped, it didn’t sound like he was blushing.

He imagined Owen in high school and how he got underestimated just because of the way he was. Tom certainly would have loved being Owen’s friend back then.

Owen opened the book. “Aaah, I remember it now. Cease to persuade, my loving Proteus:

Home-keeping youth have ever homely wits.” He looked at Tom. “That already sounded somewhat gay to me. All these sweet words they have for each other…”

Tom’s heart began to pound. He had been looking for the right moment to tell Owen.

He had talked with Owen about Loki before they began shooting and of course he had mentioned that Loki was bisexual. Owen had been surprised but not in a bad way. He had said something like “Okay, good for him.”

So Tom could assume that Owen wasn’t homophobic. But still, what would he say when he knew Tom was bisexual himself? And Tom even wondered about Owen himself?

Tom had the feeling that Owen was flirting with him. But Tom had flirted with his straight friends, too, so that could mean absolutely nothing. And he would hate it for the flirting to stop just because Owen was suddenly insecure about knowing Tom was bi.

So Tom just said, “Look, this is interesting as well,” and showed Owen the book with the poems. “These are the poems by Shakespeare. And this is an edition with the original text, where a lot of poems are directed to… men. And later they were published again by a publicist called John Benson. But he changed most of the pronouns from he and him to she and her.”

“Wow…that’s… outrageous! I didn’t even know that... You really know a lot of that stuff. Not just Hamlet.” Owen smiled at him. “Maybe we should start a new lecture, the Shakespeare lecture.”

Tom laughed in embarrassment. He knew he was a nerd and got on people’s nerves with this whole stuff.

“You know, I always could kinda relate to Shakespeare somehow.” Owen said, looking at him, intently. “I always felt we shared some similar… feelings. It felt somehow familiar.”

Tom felt a little dizzy hearing this.

He still could be misinterpreting this.

But he had heard Owen say that and he thought he just had to act on it.

So he looked a bit left and right to see if there was anyone near them and said, “I know what you mean, I always felt the same. Because he wrote for both, you know. For women and for men.”

He cried out inside. Why was this still so hard to just say it? He was 39 for Christ’s sake.

But he probably got it right after all, because Owen nodded slowly, his face all soft, his smile reassuring, knowing.

“It was nice, by the way, there at the table. I loved that," Owen said after a little pause. "That Loki would sleep in front of Mobius.”

Tom became a little embarrassed. “I just felt that it would fit. Because he trusts Mobius. That’s new for him. And there’s a scene later on with Sylvie where he says that he can’t sleep around people he can’t trust. So… I wanted this to match. I’m glad Kate went along with it.”

The look that Owen gave him was kind of mischievous…

“I think we should talk about the relationship between Loki and Mobius a bit more… dig a bit deeper. Because I think there is a lot to show that’s not necessarily in the script. You know I was lying in my bed yesterday, imagining Mobius lying in his bed, thinking about Loki. Yes, he’s obsessed with him but I think there’s so much more. He really cares for him, you know.”

And the way Owen said “he cares for him”, God, Tom’s heart immediately began racing again. And he thought he would burst. He felt so much joy and so much love and so much excitement that he was probably grinning like a clown.

Yes, they already talked about the relationship between Loki and Mobius a lot, how much these character could give to each other… but they hadn’t taken it to another level… yet. Honestly, when he first read the script, he didn’t see it either. But with Owen now here on set… it was getting better every day.

“I’d love that,” he said softly.

And Owen just smiled at him. And then something happened that Tom hadn’t expected. Owen leaned his head back on the shelf and began to talk quietly.

“You know, there was this boy. Charly. We were best friends, from a young age, you know sandbox friends. And we were doing everything together. And one day when we were like 9 or 10 or something he asked me ‘Should we kiss?´ like he would ask me `Wanna go for a ride?´, as if this was just something you just do with a best friend. So we kissed.” Owen smiled in memory of this. “And it was nice… It felt good… So now and then we would make out… And… a few years later he would ask me `Should be jerk off?´ and I again was like ´Why not´… so we jerked off together” He shook his head as if he himself couldn’t believe that really had happened. “So until we were 18 we pretty much did everything one could do in this… area. We had girlfriends from time to time. We were crazy about them. But with Charly… it felt always different, more like coming home, something you could always go back to. It was comforting. And all the time it felt like it was the most natural thing in the world.” He sighed and looked at the floor, lost in thoughts. “If there hadn’t been the people to tell you otherwise…”

Tom didn’t know how to breathe, didn’t know what to say. He was so overwhelmed about Owen’s endearing story, and the sadness behind it. And that he had shared it with him….

“TOOOM? OWEN??” Lea, the production assistant, was searching for them and calling their names until she finally found them between the shelves. “How should I find you here?” she reprimanded them. “It’s all set up!”

“Sorry…” Tom and Owen answered simultaneously and helped each other get up.

Owen straightened himself and turned to Tom.

“Meet me at section F for Fitzgerald at the next break?”

Tom laughed softly. “Sure!”

And while he said this, his heart fluttered in his chest excited about what would happen in section F.

*

[kairoscelrosis]

Ocean Eyes - A Leonard “Bones” McCoy x Reader Fic

Series: Star Trek TOS

Pairings: Leonard “Bones” McCoy x Reader, Implied Spirk

Characters: Reader, Leonard “Bones” McCoy, James T Kirk, Spock, Montgomery Scotty, Nyota Uhura

Trigger Warnings: No triggers apply. 

Word Count: 5,202 words

Author’s Note:

This is my first fic! It has a small amount of fluff, but its mainly full of a plot revolving around the two mentioned relationships. 

You can also find this fic on Wattpad. 

Summary:

Y/N is confused about her feelings for Dr. McCoy. When Spock and Kirk come to know, they devise a fantabulous plan to bring both of them together. 

I was lying down on my bed in a darkened room. Thoughts wandered, but always stopped on one thing. Rather, on one person. It’s weird. I had always liked him a lot – platonically, of course. This was different. “What the hell?”, I said out loud. But that didn’t help the storm raging in my mind. My alarm beeped. 1530 hours. “Damn.” I huffed, got changed, and left for the Bridge. My eight-hour shift was about to begin.

______________________________________________________________

On the bridge

“Captain.”, I said in a confident, but tired voice. “Lieutenant Y/L/N reporting for Beta Shift.”

“Yes, Lieutenant.” Kirk replied without looking towards me. “Please report to Mr. Spock for this shift’s agenda. You will be taking over from him for the Beta shift.”

I walked over to Mr. Spock’s science station. “Commander Spock. Lieutenant Y/L/N reporting.” His head bobbed in a small greeting.

Spock and I had known each other since my academy days when he was my professor for most subjects. He was my role model and mentor, and I wanted to follow in his footsteps. He was also my closest friend on the ship.

After briefing me with the progress he had made on the current star charting assignment and about his inferences on the nearby nebula, Spock walked over to Kirk, and whispered something. Kirk nodded and said, “Please continue with our research assignments. Mr. Sulu, you have the conn. I’ll be in my quarters.”

  ______________________________________________________________  

Spock’s POV

After filling in Y/N, I walked over to the Captain and quietly said, “Captain, I would like to speak with you.” He nodded, gave his usual orders, and both of us left the bridge for his quarters.

Once in the sanctuary of his quarters, the Captain turned to me, and asked, “What is it, Mr. Spock? You seem concerned.”

I replied in the affirmative, and said, “My concern is for Lieutenant Y/L/N, sir. She seems to be ‘out of her elements’, as would be expressed in Terran colloquial.”

The Captain offered a small, though rueful smile at this. “I agree with you Mr. Spock. She is not one of the outspoken ones, but she does seem a bit… subdued. Perhaps we should ask her what the problem is?”

“Perhaps. Though I have another suggestion sir. We are going to take a short shore leave on Star Base 12 in a few hours. Why not relieve Lieutenant Y/L/N early from her Beta shift so that she can recuperate and make the most out of this shore leave?”

“Yes Mr. Spock. An excellent idea. Anyhow, we take shore leaves only once in a blue moon, so why not allow her to rest a bit before going back out into the dark. I believe we will establish orbit around Star Base 12 by 1800 hours. I myself will relieve her at 1830 hours. Thank you for bringing this to my notice Mr. Spock.”

“My pleasure.”

______________________________________________________________

A few hours later…

Y/N’s POV

After several attempts to refuse an early shore leave and in complete denial of any need of this favour, I had finally beamed down onto Star Base 12.

Along with Scotty.

You might wonder why I was accompanied by the Chief Engineer. That was because of my resistance to go down. Kirk had asked Scotty to accompany me so that I did not sneak back onto the ship. I sighed inwardly.

Wanting to make the most of this time, I asked Scotty to come along with me to a street market. I loved the vibe of street markets – the dim lights, the muffled voices, walking around – it was the perfect ambience to relax.

“Hey Scotty! Come on!” I turned and called to Scotty, who was dragging his feet like a bored teenager. “Ach lass! I didn’t know that I’d have to babysit ya today. I wanted to go to the bar.” He moaned.

“Okay, okay, Lieutenant Commander Scott. Lieutenant Y/L/N will not hold you for long. Come, roam around with me for a while, and then we’ll both go to the bar.”

His face lit up like that of a child on Christmas morning. After that, there was a certain bounce in his step, not stalling anymore.

While scanning the stalls, I saw a small, wooden stringed instrument which piqued my interest. Picking it up gingerly, I held it in my hands. It felt right.

“Ah lass! What are ya doing with a ukulele?”

“You know the name of this instrument?” The shopkeeper asked, visibly surprised.

“Yes of course! My gran used to play this really well. She got it as an heirloom from her mother, who got it from her mother.”

I strummed the strings of the ukulele tentatively. A beautiful sound, though not very melodious, emerged.

“Can I buy this? It’s beautiful.”

The shopkeeper smiled, “You have really good taste. I can see you play this beautifully. That will be ten credits. If you want, I can teach this to you as well.” Her offer seemed genuine.

“Thank you so much!”

  ______________________________________________________________

At the bar

I let an evil grin emerge. Scotty had his head down. I had known his weakness, and now I had the chance to escape.

Well, escape is a strong word, but I had been forced to come down – so it was justified.

I had just drunk a glass of iced tea, not preferring to be hungover the next morning. I had never really liked drinking anyway.

As I was sneaking out of the bar, I saw HIM coming in. My heart immediately jumped into my mouth, beating like crazy. I hid behind the table where an employee was granting entry to the guests. He gave me a weird look but did nothing about me being there.

Once certain that HE was gone, I brushed my clothes, held my head high and started to walk towards the door, when I heard someone call me, and I froze.

“Y/N? Whatcha doin’ here? I thought ya didn’t drink.” The southern drawl rolling smoothly off his tongue.

“H-Hey Doc. Yeah, I don’t drink. I was just giving Scotty some company. I’m going back to my room now.”

“’Kay, great! Have a nice evening.” He sauntered away to where Scotty lay knocked out.

This was getting harder day by day.

______________________________________________________________

The next morning

I was back in my quarters on the Enterprise. Last night had been great, though I won’t admit this to anyone.

After encountering Bones at the bar, I had gone to the shopkeeper who had sold me the ukulele, and I sat there till late at night, learning the basics. I picked up the chords pretty quickly and was onto my first song by midnight. The street shops were open till 2 in the morning, and the shopkeeper seemed keen on teaching me, so I figured why not learn as much as I could.

She told me she had many copies (yes, actual paper copies!) of songs. She called them scores or sheet music. She gave me all the copies of scores she possessed, and I was so grateful!

Rand smuggled me back onto the ship by manning the transporter. She was going down in a while and didn’t mind disobeying Kirk.

The clock flashed 0800 hours as I was snapped out of my thoughts about the previous night. I wanted to utilize the rest of my shore leave efficiently. I got up, showered, and walked to the replicator. When nothing came out even after swiping the card multiple times, I let a sigh out and decided that I’d have to go to the mess.

I swaggered along the deserted decks and corridors of the ship, making no effort to conceal myself. Most people were down on the planet, including the two I wanted to avoid.

Walking into the mess, I ordered popcorn (weird choice, I know) and sat down. Spock, who had entered the mess just after me, slid into the seat opposite me, both of us falling into a comfortable silence. We often had our breakfast together. I was one of the people closest to Spock.

Putting down the Vulcan equivalent of an apple, Spock looked at me and asked, “How are you Y/N? You seemed extremely sombre yesterday. That is unlike you.”

The corner of my mouth lifted slightly at his concern. “I am fine.” I replied. “I guess the work got to me. Yesterday was a nice break.” So much for not telling anyone, I thought, amused. “I don’t think Kirk thought of relieving me early yesterday. Someone else was behind that move.” I gave a teasing grin. Spock’s eyes crinkled in a semblance of a grin.

Once done with our respective meals, I said, “Come to my quarters tonight, Spock. I’ll tell you about my evening and you can tell me about yours. Maybe I’ll even play you something. Bring your lyre as well. I wanna hear you play it.”

Spock bobbed his head, confirming that he’d be there.

  ______________________________________________________________

That evening

I heard knocking at the door. “Come in.” Spock walked in with his Vulcan lyre in hand. I gave him a smile.

Though my quarters were small, I had made enough space for us to sit comfortably, without invading each other’s space. He sat down on the straight backed, cushioned seat which he preferred, and I pulled my desk chair to sit on.

We talked about the events of last night, me reciting everything other than the event when I ran into the Doc (that incident was kept to myself for the time being). Spock told how he had done some work in the science lab, read a book, and practiced playing the lyre (though he didn’t need any).  

“You said that you were going to play for me?” It was more a request than a question. “Yeah.”, I replied. “I bought this old Terran stringed instrument called the ukulele yesterday, and the lady who sold it to me taught me how to read sheet music and also helped me play my first song. It’s “Ocean Eyes” by Billie Eilish from 2016. I’ve heard it before. You wanna hear it?”

Spock lifted his eyebrows in classic Spock fashion, essaying his agreement.

I rarely sang, but when I did, it was only in the privacy of my own quarters. Spock had heard me sing, though not very often.

I started strumming, trying to pick the beat from where I had to start the vocal.

I've been watchin' you for some time Can't stop starin' at those ocean eyes Burning cities and napalm skies Fifteen flares inside those ocean eyes Your ocean eyes.

No fair You really know how to make me cry When you gimme those ocean eyes I'm scared I've never fallen fro…

 I faltered. Spock nodded, his eyes intently watching, eyebrow perked. I could see something glint in his eyes but didn’t understand what it was. I resumed the strumming.

I've never fallen from quite this high                                                                Fallin' into your ocean eyes Those ocean eyes.

I've been walkin' through a world gone blind Can't stop thinkin' of your diamond mind Careful creature made friends with time He left her lonely with a diamond mind And those ocean eyes.

No fair You really know how to make me cry When you gimme those ocean eyes I'm scared I've never fallen from quite this high Fallin' into your ocean eyes Those ocean eyes.

I had been nervous, not because it was my first time playing this song in front of somebody (because I knew Spock would never disregard the importance of beginning, and subsequently growing as a person), but because this song reminded me of a certain someone. If Spock connected the dots, I don’t know what his reaction would be, and whether he would tell McCoy or Jim.

There was silence for a moment. Spock opened his mouth to say something, but then, his communicator beeped. Flipping it open, he said, “Spock here.”

Kirk’s voice cracked through. “Mr. Spock. I request you to please report to my quarters. I have an urgent matter to discuss with you.”

Spock looked at me, that glint still there. I nodded my assent and picked up his lyre from my bed and handed it to him, as he stood from his chair to leave.

I mouthed, “See you later”, and then the door shut.

Lying down on my bed, I decided that it would be best to go to sleep.

But sleep just wouldn’t come.

______________________________________________________________

Spock’s POV

I had had a nice evening with Y/N, though the lyrics of her song still perplexed me. I was reminded of someone by those lyrics, but I can’t seem to determine whom. My brain was “short-circuiting”, as Jim would say, but I was not able to put a finger on who the song pointed to. I had known Y/N long enough to know that this wasn’t just “nothing”, though that’s what she wanted me to believe.

I didn’t know what to make of Jim’s call either. He had planned to stay ashore for at least 12 more hours, but he now was aboard the ship. Though Jim’s words had been authoritative, his tone was friendly and indicated that this had nothing to do with the ship.

I knocked on the door of Jim’s quarters, and heard a small “Come in”. When I walked in, Jim was seated at his desk, his hands intertwined into a tent. “A ‘deep in thought’ position” I thought.

“Jim. Is something troubling you?” Jim looked up and gestured me to sit down. I complied. “No Spock, nothing is troubling me. It’s just, I think I know now why Y/N has been so quiet.”

I gave him a quizzical look.

“Spock, I believe you were with Y/N when I called you?” I nodded. I couldn’t understand where this was going.

“What were you doing?” One of my eyebrows lifted in confusion. Why was Jim asking that?

“Jim, I don’t think you should ask that. I think, on Earth, this is called snooping. Though you are a good friend of Y/N’s, it is my moral responsibility not to tell you anything about what she told or did in confidence.”

Jim’s eyes expressed the same warmth as his smile when I said that. “True gentleman you are, Mr. Spock. Okay, I’ll tell you why I asked that question.” My eyebrows perched higher, indicating my interest.

“I was going to Y/N’s chamber to admonish her for not following her Captain’s orders.”

My expression moved from interested to inquiring.

“I had ordered Y/N to stay on the planet for the entirety of the shore leave. However, when I went to her room at the lodging, she wasn’t there. She had told McCoy that she would be in her room. I knew where she would be – in her quarters, aboard the Enterprise. I walked to her quarters, mock-fuming, and was about to knock, when I heard her start singing.”

I opened my mouth to rebuke Jim for eavesdropping, when he interrupted, “I know Spock, but I had no intention to eavesdrop. I was just drawn to her voice and that song. I love that song.”

“Ocean Eyes by Billie Eilish?”

“Yeah, that one. I was surprised that you didn’t hear me standing outside, what with your enhanced hearing.”

I paused for a moment before I spoke, staring past Jim’s shoulder, my eyes resting on his laurels. “I had been thinking about something.”

______________________________________________________________

Jim’s POV

Spock had apparently zoned out. That was a first.

“I think I can guess what you were thinking about.”

Spock’s eyebrows flew up. “Do you?” he enquired.

“Yes Spock, I think I do. And I think you do too, now. You have arrived at a conclusion, and I would like you to share it with me.”

Spock seemed to hesitate for a moment, but then turned to face me. “I think this has something to do with Dr. McCoy.” My smile turned into a grin. Spock was REALLY smart with this stuff for a person who swore by logic. Spock took this as a confirmation that he was correct.

“I assume I am correct. However, I do not fully understand.”, he remarked.

“My dear Spock, I was surprised that you inferred this much.” If Spock’s brows could go higher, they would have. “It is my hypothesis that Y/N likes Dr. McCoy, but she is in denial.” Spock’s face expressed a mixture of distaste and bewilderment. I chuckled.

“I have known Y/N since our academy days. She is slightly younger than me, but she was always a prodigy. Always top of the class. Not just with marks or grades, but with her work ethic as well. She has never been in a relationship; she never felt the need to be in one. Now, she reminds me a lot of someone I know. Maybe that’s why both of them are such good friends.” I looked at Spock. His face radiated a hint of pride.

I continued. “And now, she is faced by this overwhelming feeling, one I doubt she ever felt before. And she is uncertain, how to act on this feeling, or whether to act at all.”

Realization dawned on Spock’s visage. Then, it was replaced by dubiousness and even a hint of distaste. “But why Dr. McCoy?” he asked. I let out a hearty laugh. Everyone knew of the friendly banter between him and McCoy.

“No Jim, I am serious. I care for Y/N deeply, though not in a romantic sense. If the doctor did anything to hurt her, I would disapprove.”

By “disapprove” I knew Spock would go on a killing spree. And the first would be Bones. I grinned inwardly. This was starting to get interesting, and I now had a chance to tease Spock.

“Isn’t disapproval a human emotion?” I tried (and failed) to keep the smirk off my face.

Spock looked at me dead in the eyes. My stomach suddenly became a bottomless pit. With an intense gaze, he whispered, “Yes.”

______________________________________________________________

Bones’ POV

I was on my way to the Transporter Room when Uhura said that she had a message from Joanna. Her messages really made my day. I asked her to transfer the message to the intercom in the Transporter Room.

I walked into the transporter room, which seemed to be deserted. “Never mind”, I thought. I would have preferred to listen to the message alone, so I didn’t mind. I switched on the intercom and confirmed that I had reached the Transporter Room.

Immediately, Joanna’s message started playing.

“Hey Papa!”, her sweet voice chirped. I smiled. “I was a few light years away from Earth, so decided that why not spend my holiday on our home planet. I went to Georgia and checked on our house and the farm. Everything is in place. I am off to India to spend a week or two. I have a month before I join the Farragut as their nurse trainee. I am really excited! Tell me if the Enterprise’s schedule matches with the Farragut’s, so that we can meet soon. Love you and meet you soon!”

“Wow”, I breathed. “What an exciting young lady.” I thanked Uhura, and then typed up my message on my PADD and sent it to her. I still like sending her emails, though they were considered ancient. “Hmm.” I hummed. “Forever the sensualist.”

______________________________________________________________  

Later that evening

I was trying to find the bar where Scotty had asked me to join him, when I caught a glimpse of Y/N coming out of a bar. I had heard that she had been accompanied by Scotty onto the surface, so I started walking towards her. I heard some laughter and turned to look in the direction of the commotion. Seeing nothing of significance, I faced again towards my destination, searching for Y/N, but she had disappeared. “Weird”, I mumbled.

I stepped into the foyer and was about to enter the bar when I turned around, wondering where Y/N had gone. And there she was! I called out her name and made small talk. Then we both went our separate ways.

I spotted Scotty and hurried towards his seat. “Got started without me, huh?”, I teased. Scotty, who had had is head down, lifted it and slurred, “Why are yer cheeks red, eh McCoy? Had a swig on the ship, huh?” I knitted my eyebrows together. I hadn’t been drinking. I dismissed it to be the cold.

______________________________________________________________

A few hours later

A blinding light flashed in my eyes. “Who’s it? What’re you doin’?” I caught a glimpse of a blue shirt. It reminded me of someone.

“Y/N?”

“Bones why do you have to drink so much? You always get hungover and start hallucinating. Then I have to take care of you. Dammit, I’m a Starship captain, not a doctor.”

“Ah Jimmy boy. Take me home now, will ya?”

______________________________________________________________

The next morning

I woke up with a splitting headache. When I opened my eyes and looked around that I realized I was not in my quarters. Hell, I wasn’t even on the Enterprise.

“Shit.” I cursed softly.

“Finally, you are up, huh? I really think you could’ve given Sleeping Beauty a run for the money.”

I huffed. I knew that voice well. Maybe too well. And I knew what that meant. “I’m sorry Jim. Just got flown away with the drinking last night. I don’t even remember you picking me up.”

“I think we should stop booking an extra room for you. You always end up crashing in mine during shore leaves.”, Jim remarked sarcastically, getting up from the reading chair and putting down his PADD.

“Drink this. You’ll feel better.” He handed me a glass of lemonade.

“What, you’re gonna use my own hacks against me?”

“Shut up and drink it.”

I accepted the glass and started taking sips from it.

“You know, you said something last night which made me think a lot.”

“Well, that’s new.” I remarked with a smirk.

Jim feigned annoyance, then continued. “You know, when I came to pick you up last night, I was wearing a blue shirt.”

“Mh-hm”

“And when you saw me, you said, ‘Y/N?’. Were you expecting her or something?”

“Hmm. I don’t remember saying that actually. Maybe that was because I saw her last night before going into the bar. She was hiding from somebody, I guess. And I was surprised to even see her at a bar – she doesn’t drink, you know.”

Jim nodded. “Do you know where she went?”

“She said she was going to her room.” I said, matter-of-factly.

“’Kay.”

______________________________________________________________

That evening

Jim had left for the Enterprise – he had some work onboard. I decided that I’d roam around the markets for a while. I never was a fan of shopping, but Christine always asked me to take small memorabilia from each planet I visited for Joanna. She seemed to like it – so I didn’t mind too much.

Hands tucked behind my back, I strolled through the stalls. I came across a shop selling ancient art prints. There were abstract paintings, movie poster recreations and the like. I picked up a print of warm toned abstract art and a recreation of the Titanic poster for Joanna. Suddenly, a small necklace and bracelet caught my eye. It didn’t seem to have any lustre, but it had an aura that I was drawn to. Entranced, I asked what it was.

“It is Vokaya – a rare Vulcan jewel.” The shopkeeper said. He was Vulcan as well. So much for being in a green-hobgoblin-free zone. But really, I was mesmerised by this ornament, and ended up buying it.

Walking back to my room, I huffed. I had never been an impulsive buyer. Thinking about the peculiar feeling that had filled me, I walked down the corridor and entered my room.

And collided with someone standing straight like a rod.

I groaned. I knew who this was.

______________________________________________________________

Y/N’s POV

The next morning

I finally got out of my bed – I had barely gotten any sleep. I kept tossing and turning, thinking about my encounter with Bones last night and Spock’s reaction to me singing that song. He must have figured it out by now.

“Well – how bad can the situation get?” I murmured.

Before I could go into the washroom to get ready for the day, I heard a knock on the door.

“Come in.”

In stormed Jim Kirk – his expression unreadable.

“Captain? What happened? Is everything alright?”

“Jim, please; I’m off duty.” Sitting down on the chair where Spock had sat last night, he said, “Calm down Y/N. Nothing’s wrong. Can’t a friend come to talk to another friend when everyone else is on shore leave?” He flashed that “I am charming” smile. I rolled my eyes.

“Sit down Jim. Let me get dressed. Then we can have breakfast together in the mess.”

Jim shook his head. “I think we should eat in my quarters.”

That was new. Why did Jim want to have breakfast alone? “Okay…” I said, sounding hesitant.

Jim gave me a smile, a genuine one. “Don’t worry, Y/N. Really. It’s nothing.”

Knowing Jim for so many years had made one thing clear:

When he said, “It’s nothing.”, there really WAS something.

______________________________________________________________

Jim’s POV

When I entered Y/N’s quarters, she looked a mess. She had always been an extremely graceful and likeable person – after all, we both were nerds. But today, there was something off. She had eyebags beneath her eyes, and her tired demeanour indicated that she hadn’t gotten much sleep.

But I could not bail out on Spock’s plan. So, it would have to do.

Spock had come up with something which was very unlike Spock – but the man never failed to surprise me. We had done what we had to do with McCoy. It hadn’t been easy, because he would not sleep at night, and kept protesting when he woke up. But we had managed.

He was in his quarters, unaware what was happening. We had brought him aboard forcefully. He won’t sit there for long. We had to hurry.

“Hey, Jim. Let’s go.”

I snapped my head in the direction of the voice.

“After you”

As the door slid open, a small voice came through.

“I am sorry Y/N.”

And then, Y/N slumped unconscious.

______________________________________________________________

A few hours later

Bones POV

Spock and Jim had been acting weird. Like, they have always been slightly off their hooks, but today, there was an air of urgency about them.

That is extremely discomforting with Spock, because usually he is the patient one preventing Jim from running around like a headless chicken.

I was pacing around my quarters. I had been asked to stay inside until called. “Captain’s orders.”, Jim had said.

I huffed. Did he really think I was going to listen to him? It had been a while since they had left, and I decided to get some work done.

Before I could decide what was the agenda for today, my intercom whistled. “McCoy here.”

“Uhura here.” Her voice was strained. “Doctor, please hurry to the Bridge. There is an emergency. Y/N has fainted.” Cursing under my breath, I picked up my medical kit and rushed out of the door.

The doors of the turbolift slid open and I walked out, worried what had happened. I looked around but there was no one. Perplexed, I scanned the bridge for any signs of hastened evacuation. My eyes landed on a head poking from the Captain’s chair.

I walked to the chair and turned it around. Y/N was slumped unconscious in it. I took her pulse, but it was really faint. I took out a hypo and filled it with cordrazine. This was risky material, but it would wake Y/N up for sure. The hypo hissed as it pressed it into her forearm, and she stirred.

______________________________________________________________

Y/N’s POV

My head was throbbing. My eyes fluttered, but they won’t open. “Too bright”, I mumbled. Someone standing next to me said, “Computer, dim the lights.” The voice mumbled something, then stopped. My eyes opened, and then focussed on the person kneeling beside me. “Doctor?” I said, voice cracking.

“Yeah Y/N. What happened? Why did you faint? Why are you sitting in the Captain’s chair? Do you remember anything?”

I looked around, a bewildered look covering my face. I didn’t remember coming to the bridge. “I don’t know Doc… I don’t even remember coming to the bridge…” McCoy got up quickly and started examining me with his tricorder.

“No signs of mental trauma. Are you sure you don’t remember coming here?” I nodded. Looking around, I now noticed that the lighting was pinkish. “Hey Doc… why is the lighting here pink?” I failed to keep the smile off my face.

He chuckled. “I don’t know. When you woke up, I ordered the computer to dim the lights. It did, but the lights also became pink.”

Suddenly, it hit me. “Oh my God. I just remembered. This has something to do with Jim. And Spock. Jim had come to my quarters to invite me for breakfast. When I was about to walk out, somebody said, ‘I am sorry Y/N.’, and then I fainted.”

McCoy’s eyes had grown wide. He seemed angry. “Come on. Let’s find the two devils.”

I tried getting up but stumbled. McCoy held my forearm and held me up. Then he stopped. “Y/N. There’s a piece of paper stuck to your back.” Confused, I asked him to remove it. “It won’t come off.”

“What does it say?”

“Um… It says, ‘I’ve been watching you for some time; Can’t stop staring at those ocean eyes.’”

I froze. I turned around to face McCoy and opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out.

I couldn’t decipher the expression on his face, but I could see the gears turning in his mind. Would he be angry? Or upset? I half expected him to just shrug and walk away, when surprisingly he held my hand and kissed it.

I tilted my head like a confused squirrel, giving him a look of *almost* disbelief.

He chuckled, “Yeah I get it now. But before we get all sweet, I really wanna hunt down both the red-blooded and the green-blooded devils. They are not going to get away with this.”

I looked into his eyes, for the first time today.

And I felt myself sinking deep into the ocean of his eyes.

______________________________________________________________

Epilogue

Spock’s POV

We had watched the events on the bridge as they took place trough the security cameras. By we, I mean Jim, I and Uhura.

Uhura was laughing so hard that she was on the verge of choking. Jim was bursting with laughter and happiness, his cheeks red. The sight made me want to smile broadly.

“Oh my God Spock, you really are a genius. This was the cleverest shipping of two people ever!”

I tilted my head, asking him what “shipping” meant.

“Never mind. Let’s go now. Otherwise, Bones will hypo the lives out of us. And Y/N adding to the party is not going to be beneficial.”

He gripped my hand and lead the way, running through the corridors of our beloved ship.

And I didn’t mind being by his side one bit.

[thatgirlwritingficsatnight]

Odi et Amo II

Odi et amo. Quare id faciam fortasse requiris? nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior  

Catullus, 85

After a few years of working in the USA for Disney and playing the role of The White Fox in Marvel Cinematic Universe you came back to your motherland - Korea only to be greeted with hatred and contempt. To make things harder for you the universe sends you the most irritating neighbour ™. Will you be able to find your happiness and  accomplish your dream of becoming loved actress in Korea without complying with standards of patriarchal society?

pairing: Park Jinyoung x reader

genre: actor au

warnings: angst, foul language (please don’t read it if you’re not old enough)

words: 5764

A/N: It was supposed to be published last week, but I was unhappy with it and ended up rewriting it/adding some things. Sorry! (*_ _)人 P.S Sorry for my grammatical errors! Enjoy!

Chapter I

***

Currently sitting in front of your manager you eyed him. He seemed tired and you felt a pang of conscience it was probably because of your tweets last night and you wouldn’t even think of meeting him if you weren’t in dire need of getaway from the uncomfortable conversation with your neighbor. You didn’t meet in your agency’s building since both of you despised the place even though it was a new and flashy building made out of something that looked like a white marble. Both of you agreed on meeting outside it, so you were sitting in the café nearby while wondering how did your shitty boss manage to rent it. Last time you’ve been here, it was a few rooms in shabby, old building. You shivered while imagining going in, that place had an evil aura even from across the street.

"Where did you get all that money to rent it?" you asked.

"We actually bought it." 

"Well, business goes well then."

"Actually we are only able thanks to your movies. Don’t tell Kim Pd-nim I told you, he thinks you'll become arrogant."

"I already am." You smiled coldly.

"That's what I told him."

Your manager had a sarcastic smirk on. Both of you and hated your CEO and even mentioning him would bring up unpleasant memories. Kim Sanghoon was one of those bosses who wouldn't even think about trying to help idols and stars that were bringing him money. No matter what it was — crazy fans destroying your life, death threats, your collapsing mental health he didn’t care. Once you were attacked by media and netizens you were on your own and if it was too much for the company your contract was terminated. You often wondered when would you become too much for them to handle.

"How do you feel?" Your manager caught you off guard, even though you had known each other for a long time there was an unspoken rule between you not to talk about other things than work.

"Honesty..I'm fine I don't understand why everyone asks me that." You huffed a bit irritated and run fingers through your hair. 

"Well it's just.. I know it was important to you and you worked hard to earn the hearts of your Korean fa..."

"I'm fine." you didn't manage to hide irritation in your voice. You were not used to talking about it and you didn't like it one bit. Besides what were you supposed to say anyway? No one else was as hated as you. Of course there were idols and stars that were occasionally criticized but not one of them was constantly a target of such hatred. Even when you left there were still death threats send from your motherland to you, nothing changed. Not to mention no one else got such welcoming on the day of return to their home. It was unfair, stupid, infuriating and saddening. And yet you couldn’t understand what people were expecting of you? Both Mark and your manager knew you, or so you thought. What were you supposed to do? Cry? You wouldn't cry, that was what weak people do, that would show you actually care about what those assholes think about you. You were just fine. Ok. Neither sad nor happy. You'd endure whatever you had to but you won't conform to their image of idol and woman nor will you show any sign of weakness. You'd rather stay hated than do that. Your manager sighed and it pulled you out of your thoughts.

"Well then. If you're okay then I'm glad. So just as I told you I have this drama for you if you're interested." You weren't the slightest bit. Frankly you'd rather stay in bed for the next three months jobless than play some crazy villain or villainous second female lead. Then again you felt bad about the amount of work he probably had because of you. You looked him in the eyes and answered with a sigh.

"I can't promise anything but I can at least listen what it’s about.." Your manager seemed surprised, but he didn't wait long, perhaps in case you'd change your mind. He took out some papers and handed them to you. You cringed on the sole title "Love is your destiny" — it sounded sappy. 

"So it's a love story between fallen angel and this human..." he started.

"Angels...so who do they want me to play? Satan? Devil? Succubus?" You browsed through pages to find the villain.

"You'd know if you'd let me finish." You sent him a small apologetic smile. "They want you to play the main role." You stared at him confused before you burst with laughter.

"They want me to play cute girl in love with the angel?" The idea of you playing the sweet female lead was absurd, not that you weren’t able to do it, you were a good actress it wouldn’t be a problem for you, if anything it would most likely be a challenge for the audience.

"No, no! You'd play the angel. See this is drama with strong female lead. The origin of your character is fascinating. You had to watch the mistreatment of a woman extremely devoted to god. The lady prayed, but she still got beaten, almost killed even. Moreover, you had to be the guardian angel of her torturer — the aggressive husband. You pleaded to god, you asked him to let you guard her instead, but he didn’t agree and forbade you from intervening. One night when the husband got drunk, he beat her unconscious and you were sure he’d kill her. You decided to save her, you kill her husband and this is the moment when you fell. That's when you became deviant and promised yourself you'd help those who were denied it. You’d protect them and avenge them. Fast-forward a thousand years, and we are in Seoul and you meet a man, a painter..." He was so excited you almost didn't understand some words because of the speed. He was waiting for your response but you were too occupied with reading what he handed you. Once you finished it you looked at him with a mix of surprise and excitement.

"It's like it was made for me.." you said with bewildered tone.

"That's because it was made for you. The screenwriter wrote it with you in mind." You looked like a cartoon character, eyes wide, mouth in a shape of letter "o", once you heard him.

"Me?"

"Yes. She is apparently a big fan."

"And tvN is ok with that?" You furrowed your brows confused.

"Perhaps they aren't. But it is co-production with Netflix, and they pushed for you since you’re popular worldwide." 

Your heart fluttered and the tips of your fingers tingled from excitement as you rummaged through the pages once again, not only it would be showed in TV during the prime-time but also streamed on Netflix weekly.

"The screenwriter and producer kept calling me since yesterday as soon as it was known you came back. They almost cast someone else. They were sure you're staying in the USA. Isn't it amazing?" He was as excited as you were and you felt some remorse for being so rude to him before. You gave him your warmest smile, one you usually used only around Mark and your family.

"It really is. Thank you and I'm sorry for being rude earlier." He was clearly uncomfortable with your apology, red spreading on his cheeks as he waved his hand dismissively.

"Ah don't mention it. Does that mean I can call them and say you are interested." You looked at the pages in front of you once again and smiled broadly before simply saying.

"Yes!"

Jinyoung was still amused you threatened him in his own café. He couldn't focus on the book he had in his hands anymore as he chuckled replying your angered and irritated expressions in his head. It was fun to tease you because you reacted so well. He could tell you could be great friends if you'd let him. He smiled to himself mouthing your own words "bloody Y/N". He was truly shocked that he met you here of all places and found it rather amusing when you yelled in English and caught his attention. He felt some disappointment upon seeing a half naked man talking to you from the screen of your phone but the feeling disappeared as quickly as it came up once your friend ended the call. Jinyoung wouldn't call himself a noisy person, but he found you interesting, and he wanted to know who it was and what kind of relationship you had although he rarely cared for stuff like this... His thoughts were interrupted by his ring-tone, BamBam's face illuminated the screen. He sighed but answered it anyway.

"Skrrrt, skrrt!"

"Ah yes, good morning to you to Bam." Jinyoung said in amused tone.

"Oh, hyung you seem in good mood. What you're up to?"

"Reading, thinking."

"Sounds boring wanna hang out?"

"Actually I wanted to ask you about something." Jinyoung ignored his question once he remembered how obsessed with celebrities and their styles Bam was.

"Shoot."

"Do you know any celebrities under the name Y/N." BamBam laughed wholeheartedly.

"That's very funny hyung."

"What do you mean?"

"OMG you're not joking! Are you living under a rock, hyung? Y/N is like the hottest actress ever. Her style is chic and comfy and artsy it's really cool, and she actually doesn't have a stylist, she does it on her ow..."

"She is an actress?"

"She is the actress! She played the White Fox in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Lol, you call yourself an actor and you don't know the most popular Korean actress abroad."

"You know I don't like those superheroes movies. Besides why didn't I hear about her Korean career if she's so good?"

"You are so old it scares me sometimes. Well you should know her from internet. I think it's national sport to hate her or something. She just came back, and they're already frying her online not to mention the media and dating rumors."

"Dating rumors?"

"Yeah she dated few actors. I think Seojoon hyung dated her and Changwook hyung even almost proposed. The media made her to look like heartless vixen though. I mean they never liked her but her last ex gave a very unfavorable interview to dispatch and after that she became villain number one. She left shortly after."

"Mmmm... I see." Jinyoung only started his career four years ago so it shouldn't be weird you've never met before. He was also the type of person who couldn't care less about internet gossip and gutter press or dispatch. He sighed. Suddenly your angry reaction made much more sense and Jinyoung didn't feel as good about it as he did before. He scolded himself for being too frivolous and selfish. He just wanted to see your reactions - it was cute and funny...

"Why did you ask? OMG you've met her didn't you. I'm so jealous. What was she wearing? Was it Gucci? I heard she likes it."

"Ok Bam. I have to go. Thanks for the talk."

"Wait, so you wanna hang out?"

"Last time when you asked me to hang out I had to shop for 4 hours with you."

"Well... I am your stylist. Besides, it was fun, come on." 

"I think we have different definitions of "fun""

You woke up to no noise pleasantly surprised. It seems that Sunday's were free from renovation and thanks to that you could sleep in. You stretched out and grabbed the phone to check the time. It was already past eleven. You smiled to yourself and fell to bed lazily. Soon you wouldn't have time for lazy days like this as the production team was supposed to finish up casting for the drama by the end of the next week. You thought about picking some groceries, maybe cooking yourself some food and enjoying the day with a book or perhaps some video games. You took shower and put on some comfortable clothes — beige cardigan you stole from Mark clearly too big for you and some black trousers pairing it up with brown coat. You left the apartment and as soon as you did the irritating voice in your head reminded you about your debt. Hesitant at first you shook off the feeling quickly and knocked on the door. This time you were prepared for teasing, you were expecting it even so you wouldn't be caught off guard. At least that's what you were telling yourself. Your neighbor, however, didn't act the way you expected him to. Instead of smirking at you and teasing you or straight up mocking you, he seemed nervous. He had deep purple bags under his usually sparkling eyes. Perhaps he didn’t feel well... you wondered whether you should ask him if he needed some help. You decided it would be extremely awkward and so you cleared your throat and spoke up — softness now somewhere in your voice.

"Is that bad time? I can come later I just wanted to give you back your money.."

"N-No." He started nervously "I mean no. It's fine. I'm actually glad you're here. Would you come in?"

You didn't want to come in and it must have shown on your face since he continued.

"Come on. I don't bite." He smiled warmly and it seemed much more normal than the timid self he showed you seconds ago. And so you came in curiously looking around his own apartment. It was a mirror image of your own in terms of room placements — a hallway leading to living room with opened kitchen. You came into the living room and Jinyoung rushed after you quickly turning the TV off. You didn't pay it any mind since you were looking around and taking in how different was his home compared to yours. It was very modern and yet it kept the homey feeling. Yours on the other hand, well it was raw yet full of stuff? Mark would probably call it unfinished and cluttered. Your neighbor sat on the other side of the couch leaving quite a lot of space between the two of you and run a hand through his hair. He wore a cardigan very similar to yours both in color and style in fact it could be the very same brand and style it’s just neither of you noticed it.

"So what did you want to talk about?"

"I wanted to apologize." He responded quickly and gained a surprised look from you.

"Apologize?"

"Yes about yesterday…I shouldn't have said those things in public I could say I just didn't know about your situation but it’s no excuse. I’m truly sorry." he paused. "You don't have to be stressed about press or rumors though. It is my café and my staff, so they won't talk about it with anyone I took care of it." You took back everything you said, you weren’t prepared for meeting him, especially not getting apologies from him. On top of that he was the owner of your favorite café...

"I… it's fine." You said confused and tried to act as normal as possible while being very aware of your palms spread on your thighs. They were unnaturally clammy. It was a surprise to you, you rarely got any apologies and you were expecting some more teasing not something like that. Your eyes were everywhere except on him and you were screaming at yourself internally to say something, anything, but nothing was coming to your mind. Once again you lost your ability for forming witty sentences around him or in that case any sentences. There was awkward silence between you and you immensely regretted coming to see him today. You weren’t used to this. Somewhere in your belly you could feel as if butterflies - or rather moths — yes, moths of anxiety were fluttering their wings desperately trying to get into your chest. You never felt like this before. You tried to avoid looking at him but your own eyes betrayed you and fell on Jinyoung only to find out he was enjoying your anguish. His brown eyes were glimmering and his lips formed half smirk that he tried to cover with his left hand in a gesture of propping his head up. Immediately irritation came to you burning all the fluttering wings in the pits of your stomach. A frown formed on your face and you send him a glare. Wondering how could you be so stupid and fall for his act.

"You're really cute when you're shy or embarrassed." He chuckled now mocking you openly.

"I can't believe I took your apologies as sincere." He chuckled again clearly pleased with how you responded.

"They were sincere. I just enjoy teasing you."

"Could you stop? That's inappropriate you don't even know me."

"What do you mean we are neighbors and soon to be friends." He smiled broadly and for a second your mind travelled somewhere else simply admiring his beauty. You cursed his handsome face it could blind and charm everyone really. You wanted to leave, no you needed to leave. It was stuffy in here.

"I'm here for a reason." You reminded him, he was watching you with amusement. It felt almost as if a cat was observing you.

"Ah right... money." his tone seemed inattentive somehow. "I don't need it. Let's say it was a part of my apology."

"Just give me your account number and take the money."

"I don't remember it." You were getting more irritated every minute you talked to him.

"You don't remember your account number?" This man was unbelievable. He shrugged.

"You can send it to me through KakaoTalk if you really want." He smiled and took out the phone from the pocket of his pants. 

"Fine. Just give it." Not wanting to spend any second longer here with him, you scanned his qr to add him quickly and transferred the money.

"Done. Now if you excuse me."

"Of course." He smiled again and you felt mocked by the sole action of his lips shooting upwards. He walked you to the door and watched as you slipped on your shoes. You tried to look as cold and dignified as possible but still tripped over the doorstep. He caught your arm firmly and straightened you. Your heart was beating so fast and hard all you could hear was blood pumping in your ears in fact you were sure he could hear it as well. On the other hand whose heart wouldn't when you almost fell face first, right…? Right? It surely wasn't because of his warm breath now tickling the crown of your head, nor the dangerously beautiful eyes... you absolutely regretted coming here today. It was foolish of you to think your cursed neighbor wouldn't shake you up today. And he was still holding you — how awkward is that; and you felt fine with being hold like that — what on earth was wrong with you? You started to think that maybe it would be better if you'd actually fell and hit that stupid head of yours.

Jinyoung was having very dangerous thoughts. The kind he didn't have in a very long time. He wasn't prepared for this kind of proximity. He was already shaken up yesterday by your touch and closeness he only held your hand for a second or two. Maybe he didn't show it but he was. Honestly he wasn't even into PDA or flirting with someone or even thinking of flirting with someone. Yes, he liked teasing, and he teased you but it was in a FRIENDLY manner. Well it was safe to say he didn't have friendshippy type of thoughts right now. Jinyoung reacted automatically upon seeing you fall he just grabbed your arm and pulled you his way. He was still holding your now tensed muscles, but he couldn't let go of you. He was in trance. Your warmth radiating onto him, the way the smell of your shampoo was tingling his nose, your huge doe-like shocked eyes, parted lips, soft pink on the apples of your cheeks. He was wondering how badly would you kill him if he asked to kiss you right now. He was seriously considering it worthy asking even if you were to pull out his tongue like you threatened yesterday. He didn't ask though, the rational part of his brain finally letting go of you. His own feeling were mess, but he did what he knew best — he masked his emotional disarray with some more teasing hoping you wouldn’t notice.

"Falling for me already?" He smirked even though internally he was screaming and already thinking of confiding in Jackson to get himself calmed. He was clearly the one falling and he was panicked. You rolled your eyes on him seemingly gaining the composure while he was getting stunned even by such simple gesture like this.

"You're way below my standards." You seemed annoyed. He smiled again although he wanted you to leave quickly and leave him alone with his feelings, so he can sort this out. Your eyes narrowed at him even more.

"I need to go now."

"Well, have a great day."

"Right, you too." You were so cold Jinyoung almost chuckled at it because it almost wounded him, and yet he liked it. He enjoyed teasing you too much. You were already walking to the elevator, but he couldn't help himself.

"Oh, and try not to fall when I'm not around to catch you, Y/N." He laughed and you were already frowning at him absolutely mad which made his heart skip a beat, you were really too cute when you frowned. Jinyoung closed the door before you could say anything or worse before he did. He realized he was in deep shit. He tried to think reasonably. He probably just had a crush because he spent a whole night watching movies and dramas you were starring in, he might have also accidentally watched all of your interviews and went to sleep at 6 still smiling to himself from that interview where you had to answer questions about your body in preparation for your role in that Marvel movie. The reporter wouldn't stop asking about your body and making comments on it even though you were clearly uninterested in the topic which you finally cut with your own questions. "Are you looking for some weight loss tips? You look great. Seriously what is it about? Are you trying to fit in my suit?" The last question was asked with whole whisper theatrics and Jinyoung laughed at loud at five am hoping he didn't wake you up through the wall. The suit in question was extremely fitting white leather catsuit. It wasn't the only interview in which you showed off your wits, eloquence and badassness, or how Bam would call it "swag". You were also the most attractive actress he had seen. Of course, you were also attractive when you weren't acting but on the screen... you were amazing. So Jinyoung tried to calm himself down rationalizing his earlier thoughts as simply being starstrucked. That’s what fans felt towards their idols, he was simply charmed by his own new idol. Yes that was it — that’s exactly the type of thoughts some fanboys or fangirls would have. He called Jackson anyway, he knew the designer was the right person to talk to in situations like this. 

Twenty minutes later Jinyoung regretted ever calling his best friend.

"OH MY GOD YOU ARE SO IN LOVE WITH HER!" Jackson basically yelled to the phone. Jinyoung groaned and massaged the space between his brows. 

"Were you even listening? I'm just a big fan."

"Yeah, sure. Whatever helps you sleep at night man. I’m a big fan of Christian Dior and all I can think of is making out with him." 

"Don’t compare it, he is dead!" Jinyoung yelled and his friend filled his ear in response.

 You were regretting not taking the car for shopping. The walk did help with your racing heart, and helped ease off your mind but it turned out the supermarket isn't that close any more when you have to drag home ten bags of food and products. Thankfully a convenience store was on your way so you could make a stop there maybe you'd be lucky enough to see Seoyun, buy her coffee and have a chat. You knew it was stupid, because she could've just feel obliged to say she is your fan but you still wanted to tell her about your new upcoming role. Sadly she wasn't there and so you just made a stop and sat on one of nearby benches. Massaging your palms that had those harsh red lines imprinted in them now thanks to the bags. You could swear you heard the sound of released shutter and so now alarmed you looked around but it seemed you were the only person here. You sighed, how paranoid have you become that you started hearing the cameras when there was none. Then again you were extremely lucky dispatch and paparazzi haven't found you yet. Just before you left to the USA, your ex gave this interview and your life became hell. You didn't have a day without paparazzi running after you or spying on you. The memories came to you not without acrimony and hurt. Your ex, an actor just like you, used you to create scandal and gain some popularity. You could remember how enraged and morose it made you. You didn't date anyone since then even when Mark tried to introduce you to some people. You intended on staying that way. You didn't need anyone, you had Mark, and he was enough for you. Just you and your best friend. You weren't sure how long you stayed like this, deep in your thoughts. You moved only after you fingers became stiff from cold. Somehow you managed to carry the groceries back home. You were so tired that you just counted it as your training today. You checked the time and it was one PM, perfect time to call your bestie.

"Markiee!!" You whined as soon as his face appeared on your screen.

"Y/N-ah. I miss you." He was wearing some blue hoodie this time.

"That's my line. Do you have time to talk?"

"Bruh, for you? Always. What's up?" 

"I am going to star in a drama!"

"What? I thought you hate those." He was genuinely shocked.

"I know, I do. But this one is different. I'm not playing the villain I got female lead, and she isn't some damsel in distress she is a badass character!" You almost screamed and he chuckled.

"Woah. Someone's excited. I'm so proud of you. So who is getting the privilege to be cast with you?"

"I don't know yet. I'm supposed to meet the cast next week." He nodded his head and smiled. "Anyway what are you up to?"

"I was actually thinking of playing Among Us and streaming wanna join?" He grinned.

"Absolutely, prepare to get wrecked Tuan." You used to play together at least once a week when you were in the USA, his fans loved you and shipped you even though you both told them you were just friends — it is some rule in the internet though, to ship close friends.

Few hours later you were once again killed as the first person, this time by Mark.

"YOU GONNA REGRET IT WHEN WE’LL MEET TUAN. I SWEAR I’M GONNA WHOOP YO ASS..." You screamed on top of your lungs and Mark laughed wholeheartedly, while his chat filled up with hundreds of LOL’s and LUL’s.

"You guys she threatens me. Someone make a clip and send it to the police once they find my dead body." He kept laughing and you couldn’t help but laugh as well. His smile and laugh were just too contagious.

"You really put our friendship to test lately Tuan, here I was foolishly trusting you when you killed me in cold blood. " You stretched and your stomach rumbled reminding you that you haven’t eaten yet and it was already around four pm.

" Hey don’t hate the player, hate the game. "   He shrugged and winked, while you rolled your eyes.

"Okay Mark, I gotta go and eat. It’s already afternoon here."

"Sure, chat say bye to Y/N." They did as he asked and it was soon filled with many hearts and goodbyes. "Love you Y/N! Call me soon." He grinned and you smiled warmly.

"Love you too Mark. Bye guys!" With that you logged off the discord, and switched off his stream. You make your way to the kitchen and took out the ingredients for kimchi jjigae you bought before. You carefully read the recipe opened on your phone and began cooking. You had to make anchovy stock first so you grabbed some dried anchovies, kelp and slashed the daikon in cubicles — it looked quite awkward as each cubicle was different size but hey it was you eating it not some kind of culinary critic. You added water and left it to boil deciding to take care of the rest of ingredients. You cut some kimchi and ate some as a snack and reward for not ordering food today, sliced some green onions, cut the pork and the tofu as well. By the time you were done it was time to strain the broth and add the rest of ingredients. It had to cook so you decided to watch some TV in the meantime. You turned it on, it was some kind of reality show where idols were supposed to camp in the wild for a few days. The idols clearly didn’t feel like being there and the fact you knew neither of them didn’t help. You dozed off before you noticed, your eyelids getting as heavy as iron. The smell of burning woke you up. You shot upwards from your couch and rushed to the kitchen, bumping into a coffee table on your way there.

"FFFFFF-UUCK." you hissed, when your shin pulsed with pain. You quickly grabbed the pot with stew to get it off the fire, forgetting it would be hot as well. You hissed in pain and let id drop on your marble floor which was now covered in burned kimchi and some other things. "Fuck, fuck, fuckity, fucking shit." You cursed as you tried to navigate to the sink to ease off the burn with some cold water. The cold water did help and you sighed with relief only to later follow it with a sigh of resignation. You had to clean up this mess. It was when your phone barked — a new message. You checked it.

From Unknown number: Are you trying to burn down the whole building?

You furrowed your brows confused, wondering if it was one of those jokes or spam messages you heard about.

To Unknown number: Who’s this?

From Unknown number: Guess.

You huffed in disbelief.

To Unknown number: Ok, enjoy being blocked.

From Unknown number: Wait!

From Unknown number: It’s Jinyoung.

To Unknown number: How did you get my number? Never mind I’m blocking you I’m too busy to deal with you.

With that you put the phone back in your pocket and began cleaning up. You finished in no time now tired out by scrubbing. You sat on the floor and took out your phone to check it out. From Unknown number: Don’t block me what if you need my help one day.

To Unknown number: With what exactly?

From Unknown number: What if you get stuck in your bathroom and need someone to let you out?

You rolled your eyes and saved his contact

To Devil: There is at least 7 billion more people I’d rather ask to help me

From Devil: Ok then what if I get stuck in the bathroom and need your help.

To Devil: I’d leave you there

From Devil: Heartless

To Devil: Better tell me how did you get my phone number

From Devil: You gave it to me when you scanned my kakao code

You were bewildered, was that his plan from the very beginning or were you just paranoid? You were either prejudiced or he was in fact the devil with angel's face.

To Devil: Did you lie about not remembering your account number?

From Devil: Maybe

You couldn’t believe it, the audacity, the smugness. You could feel irritation building inside you but you decide to let it go when your stomach rumbled at you aggressively. After eating you took shower, read a few chapters of The Vegetarian and fell asleep.

Next week passed quickly but in the feeling of anticipation as you were supposed to meet the rest of the cast as well as the scriptwriter and director at the meeting on Friday. You kept calling your manager throughout the week trying to find out who could they be, but he didn’t know anything or didn’t want to tell you. And so you spent the week on training, running, reading and occasionally calling Mark to express your impatience and excitement. You didn’t meet your irritating neighbor even once this week — something you counted as blessing or perhaps a sign that the universe finally turned your karma around. It was finally Friday and you were already sitting in the meeting room waiting for everyone to come in. You smiled at the young man sitting next to you, he was really cute and had this mole under his right eye it added to his charm. He was about to introduce himself, when someone came through the door and greeted everyone cheerfully. You couldn’t believe it. You were cursed, actually cursed.

"YOU?!" was all that left your mouth upon seeing him entering the room.