#i ran into a post and I just had to say

[cherriiramen]

“I don’t see the potential in McHarrison, George is ugly anyway and Paul can do better!”

[vmkhoneyy]

“People are inherently terrible” no!!! Have you ever seen a child wait for their friend while they tie their shoelaces? Have you ever known someone who would bring hurt squirrels and rabbits and mice to the nearest vet just so it doesn’t suffer? Have you seen someone grieve? Have you ever read something that hit your heart like a freight train? Have you looked at the stars and felt an unexplainable joy? Have you ever baked bread? Have you shared a meal with a friend? Have you not seen it? All the love? All the good? I know it’s hard to see sometimes, I know there’s pain everywhere. But look, there’s a child helping another up after a hard fall. Look, there’s someone giving their umbrella to a stranger. Look, there’s someone admiring the spring flowers. Look, there’s good, there’s good, there’s good. Look!!!!

[dykedvonte]

Its really interesting that Jimmy’s chair is the one tilted away from the screen in this shot:

It’s indicative of how his and Jimmy’s dynamic was. He’s not staring ahead at the screen, he’s not paying attention to what they are doing. Curly is the only one looking forward. Jimmy quite literally couldn’t see the responsibility Curly had or was doing. Jimmy likely slacked off and avoided most of his duties. I mean the one time we know he pilots the Tulpar he steers it wrong and loses the team 4000 credits. Even in the positions they held objectively, Curly was always taking responsibility for Jimmy. Not to mention the “We can fix this” and only one chair at attention. Jimmy never had intentions to fix anything, throughout the game, throughout his entire relationship with Curly. Curly always fixed it? Why would it be any different here?

If he even took the slightest bit of responsibility, he would’ve stayed in the cockpit to see his plan through. In the end Curly did what Jimmy always expected him to do for him and took responsibility. Did what he always did and took responsibility at the wrong time…

[caeslxys]

I’ve mentioned this elsewhere but it feels relevant again in light of the most recent episode. Something that’s really fascinating to me about Orym’s grief in comparison to the rest of the hells’ grief is that his is the youngest/most fresh and because of that tends to be the most volatile when it is triggered (aside from FCG, who was two and obviously The Most volatile when triggered.)

As in: prior to the attack on Zephrah, Orym was leading a normal, happy, casual life! with family who loved him and still do! Grief was something that was inflicted upon him via Ludinus’ machinations, whereas with characters like Imogen or Ashton, grief has been the background tapestry of their entire lives. And I think that shows in how the rest of them are largely able to, if not see past completely (Imogen/Laudna/Chetney) then at least temper/direct their vitriol or grief (Ashton/Fearne/Chetney again) to where it is most effective. (There is a glaring reason, for example, that Imogen scolded Orym for the way he reacted to Liliana and not Ashton. Because Ashton’s anger was directed in a way that was ultimately protective of Imogen—most effective—and Orym’s was founded solely in his personal grief.)

He wants Imogen to have her mom and he wants Lilliana to be salvageable for Imogen because he loves Imogen. But his love for the people in his present actively and consistently tend to conflict with the love he has for the people in his past. They are in a constant battle and Orym—he cannot fathom losing either of them.

(Or, to that point, recognize that allowing empathy to take root in him for the enemy isn't losing one of them.)

It is deeply poignant, then, that Orym’s grief is symbolized by both a sword and shield. It is something he wields as a blade when he feels his philosophy being threatened by certain conversational threads (as he believes it is one of the only things he has left of Will and Derrig, and is therefore desperately clinging onto with both bloody hands even if it makes him, occasionally, a hypocrite), but also something he can use in defense of the people he presently loves—if that provocative, blade-grief side of him does not push them—or himself—away first.

(it won’t—he is as loved by the hells as he loves them. he just needs to—as laudna so beautifully said—say and hear it more often.)

[oxymoronicdumbass]

i have such a love-hate relationship with being autistic because on one hand, i know that i will never be able to function in a way that is deemed “normal” in society, but on the other hand, there are very few other things that can possess you with the ability to spend 5 straight minutes jumping up and down because of one sentence in a fanfic

[holocene-sims]

grandma aoife's bakery 🍰✨🥧

[3416]

just need to give a shoutout to all the people who interact w me or the things i make on here for the love and good vibes. twitter's been pissing me off the past couple days and i just think it reaffirms i'll never really leave tumblr bc the fandom culture here is just so much.. more lol

[cybercasket]

Guys. Guys Ben Drowned's canon last name isn't actually Lawman

I've known this for a while, and more I think about it, the more it makes me feel like I should say something 😭

It was a misconception that started with an older version of Ben's page on the Jadusable Wiki. (It was never used for any non-ARG version of Ben prior to this.) I remember spotting Lawman being used as Ben's last name around 2016-2018 or so, and it has been edited out of his page since 2020. (It was on the page they have for the dead child rather than the Network/entity. I think it might've happened before they moved off Fandom wiki, because I think I remember seeing comments and their new wiki doesn't have those).

During the second arc (2011-2012), Jadusable mailed some bonus material to people who donated to him. One of these bonus materials was a section from a newspaper, which describes the murder-suicide of two members of the Lawman family along with their son, with some tampering to the article that appears to have been done by BEN.

You can zoom into the image and read it, or check out it's page on the wiki here (which I highly recommend as it has some added information, like what all the censored words are.) It's a very interesting piece of lore that's fun to analyze--however, I wouldn't recommend reading it if you're super squeamish or sensitive to graphic details related to death. (The method of the killing itself isn't mentioned.)

While this seems to be about Ben on the surface, it's actually not. The only way we can tell is by the date of the newspaper: In the column to the left of the "Spring Is In The Air!" paragraph, the year 2011 is mentioned, but we know that Ben died on 4/23/2004. The wording of the Lawman event feels recent (as if they're talking about an event a few months prior), when Ben's death would've been far gone by now.

With what's likely BEN tampering on the top right (where they creatively use block-out poetry to say "You shouldn't have done that," among many other things) combined with the mention of someone's son dying, it makes a ton of sense that the wiki editors assumed that Ben is a member of this Lawman family that appears here. At some point, screenshots of the wiki ended up being circulated and the larger Creepypasta fandom accepted Lawman as being Ben's "real" last name.

Lawman is actually the last name of a different (and much less relevant) character, Tyler, who appears briefly in the first and third arcs. It's not entirely clear what happened to him or his family, and I think the Newspaper Article is intended to be fun bonus material for Jadusable's donators rather than something that's meant to supply important information about the ARG characters--something like Ben's last name would be crucial for puzzles and passwords, and would give the 50 donators who received the article an unfair advantage (and Jadusable isn't the type of creator who'd be okay with that). Regardless, it carries some interesting implications about the Behavioral Event Network, and Matt's initials are also here for some reason. It's probably one of the most head-spinning materials in the whole game.

[spotaus]

If I have energy I want to draw out some designs for an au I'm spontaneously writing.

(Medieval times, there's a Prophecy. Nightmare rules over this kingdom and is supposed to complete this prophecy, he refuses to because it would harm the people. Dream was sent away and banished by Night because he was dis-illusioned into thinking the prophecy was a Good Thing abd what he was raised to complete. Night collected his Knights (Killer, Dust, Horror, and Cross most recently) and trains them and tells them the truth of the prophecy. They're loyal to him. One day the magic of the prophesy (Apple Magic) leaves Nightmare unexpectedly, returning him to the state he was in before he accepted the mantle. This puts a target on his back and gives Dream a huge advantage in maybe making a comeback. The Knight's decide that their King (newly a young lad and variably scared and frightened) must be protected and they run the kingdom as he normally would, while also ensuring he survives and that the prophecy can't be completed.)

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

Avatar Love talk 3: Game vs Action

Follow up from (and also defending Kyo in this vid)

Yangchen: I plead the fifth on what Kuruk said. No idea why you two think you got your horny ass desires from me. Kyoshi: I'm not the one who sensually listened to the sound of Kavik writing with a pencil, but go off? Yangchen: Again, pleading the fifth! Anyway I still think Kyoshi has the least amount of game. Kyoshi: Really? We're still on this? Can't we talk about something else? Wan: Like your mommy issues? Kyoshi, pushing his face away and knocking him down: Ok, defending my "game" it is. Yangchen: Kyoshi, really, just accept it. You can't flirt for shit. Kyoshi: Again, I don't need to. Yangchen: You keep saying that! How do you expect to get anyone if you can't or don't flirt? Kyoshi: I walk into the room and look at them. Maybe smile, if I'm feeling feisty. Yangchen: That's not going to work- Wan: It worked for you, Yangchen. Yangchen: *deflated* Kyoshi: Oh so it's "flirting" and "super game" if Yangchen does it, but if Kyoshi does it then I'm just lucky? Wow. Hmmm. So fair. Yangchen: Kyoshi, you had two years with Rangi and Yun and I had five minutes with Kavik. We are not the same. Kyoshi: Listen, Yangchen, I think we've got it all wrong. It isn't about game or flirting. It's about action. I know how to get my girl going- Wan: Yangchen knows how to get Kavik going too! Yangchen: SHut UP, Wan! .......Yeah I know how to get Kavik going too, blow steam in his ear, fling him off a bison, what's your point????? Korra: Wait, fling him off a-? Kyoshi: Oh no no, Yangchen. That's not what I mean. You see, I'm probably going to go down in history as "World's best daughter-in-law." Whenever I sincerely talk about how I'm going to take care of Rangi or Hei-Ran, and Rangi melts into a literal puddle at my feet. Korra: So, like, you're amazing moral character is how you flirt? Kyoshi: No, it's not flirting. It's doing. Actions. Like I said before, they like me for who I am. And maybe because I have a good smile too. Kuruk: Being good looking does help. Yangchen: Ugh, where are you going with this? Kyoshi: I'm getting to it. What I want to say is, 'What's so great about having game, when the real measure should be the results?' Yangchen: *rolls eyes* 'Results.' Please, Kyoshi. We all know I had Kavik wrapped around my finger. Kyoshi: So you got with him? Yangchen: I-well uh- Kyoshi: Tell me, Yangchen. Which one of us actually GOT their boo in the end? Hm? Yangchen: .......... Kyoshi: Only actions and outcomes matter, Yangchen. What's so great about your "game" if you can't even "win"? Wan: I haven't seen a burn this severe since that volcano took out Roku. O-O Voice on the phone: 911, what's you're emergency? Korra, on the phone: I just witnessed a murder! I mean both parties are already dead-can the dead die twice?????

[gjsxj0]

mindless rambling in tags don't mind me

[stari-hun]

Journey to Mor Pankh rerun already so I can write a piece on Kumar and Shamane and how they never could’ve been happy siblings but Kumar would’ve had a breakdown over not being able to direct her anger at him.

Shamane genuinely wanted nothing more than to be by Kumar’s side and grow up with her the second he found out she was his sister. In his flashback talking about her you could really tell that he was so dazzled like “huh I don’t really get why this cool researcher is here” but rationalized her as a friend of the family. Hell she IS his driving point. And he’s her driving point too. The second he found out that she was his SISTER? He ran away and that’s where his character story started. Which is such an important and noteworthy choice because not every character event is a backstory or tells you what a characters bond to another was.

And Kumar’s arcanum WAS strong. She MADE it strong. She wasn’t born with a gift like KB or Matilda and grew it, she had to start from what was implied to basically be nothing. Then she still became such an incredibly strong arcanists and diviner that she discovered a star far before anyone who was born with strong arcanum did. She needs more time and steps to channel a strong arcanum but KB inherited her techniques and her ability and she’s a POWERHOUSE. She throws a STAR at people and she learned that from Kumar!!! She didn’t start with talent but she built it up so far that it took basically two people on the level of someone she taught and raised from childhood to bring her down!! Even then Kumar didn’t suffer extreme of injury considering how bad a rebound on a spell like that has to be on the mental state.

Shamane was driven to the city purely because he sought out Kumar who sent him that letter. After living and learning his entire life out there he went out to find and her and I can only imagine how stoked he was. Cause he likely knew that Kumar would’ve resented him and looking at how she turned out he was the first one to understand and accept that the bridges between them were already burnt.

At the same time I can’t imagine how Kumar must’ve felt learning that the prodigal child her family tossed her aside for left them. I couldn’t begin to explain the kind or visceral bite that news must’ve had. She could’ve had everything with them and in a way she must’ve built up her arcanum, at least at first, so they might accept her one day. I would’ve grown to hate everything too.

[ceaselesswatchersspecialboy]

I think, when it comes to the conversation around siblings in media, the depiction of negative and unhealthy sibling relationships should never be dismissed, because the fact is, they exist, they’re common, and they deserve to represented in media just as much as positive sibling relationships do. Being siblings does not automatically equate to a close bond, nor does it automatically equate to hatred.

You can say that there should be more depictions of healthy and positive sibling relationships in media, especially popular media, and not dismiss the existence of siblings who don’t have that. Both are important, and, just as any relationship, no two sibling relationship is the same.

You don’t have to put one down to talk about the other!

Everyone deserves something to connect to. Part of the reason Gravity Falls resonated so deeply with me as a kid is because Dipper and Mabel reminded me of my relationship with my brother, and we still do the Awkward Sibling hug from the show to this day. It ended up being a really important thing for me when I hit twelve and went through the same anxieties Mabel did about the future and her brother.

That’s just one my own personal experiences with sibling relationships in media, but who knows what other people have connected to.

The point is, you can’t use ‘siblings’ as an all-in-one umbrella term, and if your experience isn’t the same as someone else’s, there’s no need to invalidate it or call a depiction inaccurate!

[alastyr-not-alastair]

Hhhungryyyyyyyyyyy

[dootplusone]

(OG post has Reblogs turned off. You can find it here!)

(OG post has Reblogs turned off. You can find it here!)

(If the OP would prefer this post not link back to the OG post or is otherwise is not okay w/ this post in reference to theirs, please let me know in some form so I can delete/edit it as needed.)

Thinking. Abt this but with Bones. Like. Post-Tholian Web? Post-Mirror Mirror?

For AOS, could be after Into Darkness and/or Beyond.

A Bones who's just. So anxious. So stressed. So overwhelmed that it starts taking a toll on his health. Maybe he doesn't even realise - or maybe he does and tries his best to push through it until it knocks him on his ass. Kind of in the vein of "You don't actually know how tired you are until you stop. And then you just physically cannot start again." It becomes his new baseline, a problem that just brews and storms in the distance.

And he just carries on. And keeps going and going and going until one day he realises that 'Oh fuck, I'm not okay' and has about 5 seconds of warning before he straight up collapses, doesn't matter if it's on the bridge, in the madbay, on a planet - he's going down. (Maybe a repeat of Tholian Web where he just straight up faints into Spock's arms? Full whammy, why not)

Maybe it's a high-tension situation getting resolved that does it. The pure relief of it reminds him of how tired he is. How tired he's been for a while. His body sees that momentary rest and goes "More of that, please. And I'm not asking."

And he's so rendered by it that he doesn't grumble about being coddled like he normally would when he wakes up. He knows not to fuck with the medbay staff - they're just as firm as he is on recovery, and that's not by accident - and he knows that Spock and Kirk will be hovering, because they see any problem as something they, too, should shoulder the burden of.

...And because they're some of the most protective people in the damned universe. And that goes for pretty much all the people on board the Enterprise.

In some scenarios, it's just a case of letting his body and mind rest properly. In others, there's a lot more recovery involved than anyone initially expects. Luckily for him, he has a found family who are determined to be there with him at every step. It just takes a couple reminders, every once in a while.

[wia-tia]

Hikaru loves his children.

[3]

This is part of a series, you don’t need to read the others, but it might add some extra context:

Part [0]: main post

Part [1]: Hikaru’s motivations

Random intermezzo

Part [2]: Hikaru’s relationship with Yura, Nino, Ryosuke

Part [3]: Hikaru's relationship with Aqua & Ruby

I think his affection for Aqua and Ruby is hinted at throughout the manga. For example, in the interviews (I assume he did all of them) he probes after their lives, wellbeing and early careers. He seems to have followed them for a while and speaks kindly to them, which I think means that he has genuine fatherly feelings for them that are veiled by a sense of guilt. Ai felt like she could raise the kids together with him, which makes me think he would be able to if he was in a better mental position.

Interviews:

The idea that all the interviews might be Hikaru’s is really interesting. This suggests that he has been keeping tabs on his children to know how they’re doing, showing his affection for them and his timid nature that has been shown in the movie.

In his first interview with Ruby, he is aware that this is her first acting job. He asks her how she feels about it, a question that feels normal for an interview yet caring. In an interview with Miyako, he asks what it’s like to manage the twins and if they’re geniuses, a term Ai used to describe them. Notably, Miyako is referred to as [manager] and not mother, which makes it seem like he doesn’t see her as their mother. Hikaru is also interested in Ai’s legacy. He questions a fan about idols they’ve liked, probably probing for Ai. The otaku recalls Ai’s concert where the twins did the dance and, in the anime, she receives a bouquet of white roses before it. This connects that concert to Hikaru.

Outside of Miyako, he also interviews other central figures to the twins’ life, meaning he knows their closest relationships. He congratulates Gotanda and, indirectly, asks what Aqua & Ruby were like as children. In Kana’s interview, he asks about her reputation as a genius actress, nothing interesting though he shows an awareness of her connection to the twins and maybe tries to understand why she matters to them. He asks a kindergarten teacher about the twins and once again asks if they’re gifted. Hikaru knows where the kids attended school, meaning he has been keeping tabs on them for a while.

It’s interesting that he interviewed Saito before the movie. He asks about Ichigo’s management regarding Ai and I think he indirectly asks why he is a fisherman instead of managing Ichigo Production, which I think alludes to his interest in those connected to Ai. This could also be a reason why Ichigo is angry at the interviewer and why he instantly shuts Aqua’s “my father is dead” down.

Hikaru’s relationship with Aqua

I think he’s supposed to represent a dark mirror to Aqua, reflecting a path Aqua might have taken had he lacked the family and friends who kept him grounded. I think the ending of the manga may change this stance of mine :(((((((. While Aqua has loved ones, Hikaru lost Ai, Seijuro (Seijuro-senpai), Airi (Airi-san), Ryosuke (Ryosuke-kun) and Yura. They all differ in effect and closeness and if they actually helped him but they were people he leaned on. Though Nino is still in his life, I think he stays more out of guilt than a close trusting friendship (Kamiki-san < - > Nino-kun), especially for, in his view, taking Ai and maybe Ryosuke away from her. Guilt drives both Hikaru and Aqua, but in contrast to Aqua whose relationship give him more resilience, Hikaru doesn’t have anyone. Can't really say this anymore because of the last few chapters; but we'll see how it goes. I'm still processing them. I had a more positive outlook of the manga's ending, when I wrote this in the past few weeks, than I do now, sadly :((.

Aqua’s self-sacrificing tendencies, his sense of being a burden and his preference to do things without asking for help even when he needs it, mirrors Ai more. I hope he’ll overcome that and not repeat the mistakes of the past generation. These last chapters are not helping this more positive interpretation :(((((. In chapter 152, Hikaru emphasises with Aqua and is curious behind the reason that Aqua lies towards him and bottles his feelings up. I think it’s quite interesting that he instantly sees through the lie, like Ai told him in the movie, lies don’t work on Hikaru if he doesn’t believe them already (which is similar to Ai [Ai did call him the same as her] -> she saw through his lies but never through her own lie that she wasn’t able to love others). His empathy and curiosity over Aqua’s lies suggest that he recognises his own emotional restraint in Aqua. In chapter 153, his eyes look quite emotional to Aqua’s promise of revenge almost like it’s a relief to him. This scene makes it feel as if he’s been waiting for Aqua’s hatred and considers it a fitting response to his actions.

During this chapter, he offers a seemingly honest review of the movie, using lines from chapter 1. He says that the love between him and Ai was only one-sided and that Ai didn’t love him twice (also in 154). He also implies he has never been loved by anyone else (“she was just like everyone else”). Showing that he didn't have anyone, in contrast to Aqua. 1He congratulates Aqua on fulfilling his wish and if revenge were Ai’s wish then he’ll accept it. 2He says he loved her from the bottom of his heart. 3He also says he is glad that he could finally talk to Aqua which indicates that he really wanted to for a while, which could be confirmed if the interviews are his. I think these last three points suggest a sincere paternal affection. This sentiment is also seen as he describes himself as a murderer, but still says that those last few sentences (his paternal feelings) are how he really feels, for no practical reason. So, I think he’s speaking the truth.

Despite his immoral actions, he doesn’t seem to resent the twins; at one point, he was willing to take care of them, marry Ai and be a family together. Hikaru’s sense of guilt over the past is evident. He blames himself for what happened with Airi and also Ai. It didn’t really help that Ai seemed to give his situation with Airi as another reason for her leaving (even though she just didn’t want to burden him with another child). He also mentions that he is willing to sacrifice his life for Ai out of the blue? I think this is why he’s fine with the revenge (his death) Aqua has, if that’s what Ai would’ve wanted.

He humanises Ai by describing her as a normal human being living a normal life where she was afraid, selfish and cruel, just an ordinary girl you could find anywhere. A direct contradiction to his previously established goal of preserving Ai’s memory by killing those who might surpass her and to immortalise them. I think this contradiction means that Hikaru’s guilt drives his actions. The previous stated reason seems to fit Nino’s reasonings more. When It’s revealed that the DVD is a love letter to him, he says that he will do what he can for Ai, which now I seriously wonder what that means. I think he wanted to fulfil Ai’s wish to save him by killing himself, which would stop everything, as he was at a random cliff at night. (What was he doing there, just watching Ruby’s concert at a cliff? For the ambiance?) Hikaru is called empty by the narrator, which I think is interesting, when you connect that to the song Fatal and what Airi said to him. It could be that guilt is the only thing he can feel now, which makes him feel alive and closer to Ai as he feels guilty for taking part in her death.

In the last few chapters, he invites Aqua to watch Ruby’s concert with him. He tells Aqua that they and Ai have eyes that make people believe you (also obey you), that deceive others and have charisma. Something also echoed by Kindaichi as having deceiving eyes. This is a trait that links them. He also says that he understands that it feels good to have an impact on people, yet we only see positive memories when Aqua thinks about this line, which makes me question what Hikaru thinks.

The distinction between white stars (wanting to love) and black stars (wanting to be loved) emphasise that Ruby wants to love everybody, even Hikaru in the way the panel frames him, despite Ruby saying she can’t forgive him in chapter 147. This is further supported in chapter 155 which says Ruby has forgiven him. I would’ve loved to see this more elaborated in the manga (but, unfortunately, this will probably never be mentioned again).

Later in that arc, Tsukiyomi says that Hikaru was obsessed with the idea that killing those who could surpass Ai would increase her significance, but we still haven’t seen where he got the idea from. It only explains why he waits till Ruby turns 18 and she “surpasses” Ai, to kill her. She also says that he manipulated those around him and that it is his destiny to try to kill Ruby. I find this fatalistic view quite weird and it clashes with Ruby and Aqua’s saying that they are looking towards the future by shaping it themselves. Hikaru’s intent to kill Ruby contradicts with his interactions with Aqua that show his desire for Aqua to have a good future. Why wouldn’t he want that for Ruby too?

In Hikaru and Aqua’s final confrontation, Hikaru says Ruby has no future but to wither and die. This comes out of nowhere. Does he want Aqua to kill him? Is this the reason he also sponsors the movie in chapter 138? He says that killing him would increase Ai’s significance. Is this because he would feel guilty if Aqua would kill him, because Aqua would be hurt in the process, even though he wouldn’t mind being dead? He does ask him if it’s really okay to kill and what would happen after that, hinting that he cares about the twins and that they should head for the future. He then gives some good points about Aqua becoming a murderer not being good for Ruby. Why would he care, if she’s going to wither and die??? Why would he care about the wish she told him in 147, if she will wither and die?? It’s almost as if he wants Aqua to be angry at him. He also calls Aqua smart and gives him reasons to live, which is cute if you ignore the context wherein he is provoking Aqua. Hikaru even seems happy that Aqua also thinks his life is valuable, like why would he if he didn’t give a flying fck about his kids. He’s only shocked when Aqua says he’ll throw that all away and he doesn’t even plead for his own life, he’s pleading for Ruby's reputation. Why would he do that once again if she’s going to wither and die? His reaction to Aqua stabbing himself ain’t satisfaction either. I think him saying stop at Aqua for pushing him down a cliff is a normal human reaction but could also be him in disbelief that Aqua threw his life away. During this confrontation, his words seem aimed more at Aqua’s well-being than at his own self-preservation. I think he didn't mind dying, but feels guilty that he, indirectly, dragged Aqua into death. I think his guilt plays the most important role here. That emotion is more tangible to him than any other emotion, giving him a sense of connection both to the dead and I think even to the living and thus his children.

In the sea, he grasps Aqua and I don’t think he is choking Aqua because the panels in front of that say he’s losing strength and he also has the disadvantage of being under Aqua, being forced down by gravity and the pressure of all the water on top of him. (Still kinda laughing at Aqua choking Hikaru UNDER WATER, he can’t breathe already, why choke him lmao). Hikaru also for some reason doesn’t want to die yet. (Does anyone have an idea why?) He only feels alive when he was with Ai. It’s as if he can only feel alive and feel her presence by using the weight of his burden, aka his guilt. He feels less guilt over time, so he needed to feel that guilt again. He does this by involving himself in murders. This motive might explain why he used Nino to kill because he would feel guilty for using her and it's more in line with his timid and formerly noble nature. He can’t bring himself to do those actions with his own hands. His final statement, “if I had killed Ruby”, came out of nowhere. When I read that line at first, I was like where does this come from? But now thinking more about it, I think he would’ve felt the closest to Ai when he would’ve made Ruby die because he would’ve felt the most guilt when killing his daughter which brings us to the next twin.

Hikaru’s relationship with Ruby

I believe Hikaru’s connection to Ruby is marked by guilt and genuine affection. I think he’d feel the most guilt for killing Ruby or being involved in her death, which would make him feel the most connected to Ai. I see this guilt as a sign that he did care about his children on some level. However, if he expected Nino to kill Ruby, why would he watch Ruby’s concert in the middle of nowhere even though she should’ve been dead by then? (If nobody surpassing Ai was the motivation, didn't he fail then, according to the manga's narrative?) After that call in chapter 158, Nino could act on her own, but if Nino didn’t work then what? Either he didn’t think this through or he knew Nino would get caught, which could mean he wanted to wrap it all up and maybe just kill himself at the cliff? I think he wanted to fulfil Ai’s wish to save him by killing himself, which would stop everything and fulfill her wish of saving him.

The first time we see him, Hikaru seems really happy to see Ruby and talks so gently about her. He almost displays fatherly affection, complementing her beauty and pointing out that she’s his and Ai’s daughter. Why would he compliment Ruby and emphasise that she’s his daughter? It’s strangely personal for someone who may want to kill her. Coupled that he knew Ruby’s name and done the interviews, it seems that Hikaru kept tabs on his children and wants to connect with them in some way.

Hikaru feels tender, when he offers the umbrella in chapter 146. [Just like Seijuro is making me :((((( ] In that scene, he asks Ruby if everything is okay and asks permission to share his umbrella. Why is he so polite? He admits to having thought about the question if something is right for a long time, which we see in the movie. He also expresses curiosity in Ruby’s true wish, what she wants to do and become, suggesting that he does care about her aspirations. He then compliments Ruby again and voices that Ruby’s life may be even more important than Ai’s. Hikaru seems sincere here and combined with at least one white star in his eyes, makes me really confused about his intentions. Does this white star signify a desire to love Ruby at that moment? Does he feel hope for the future? There is way too much room for multiple interpretations, which makes me inconclusive about his true intentions here, but I think it’s something positive.

Hikaru’s intentions grow even more confusing given that he knows both Nino and Akane are watching. Did he just want to touch Ruby or did he intend for Akane to intervene? Knowing Nino was there, perhaps he wanted her to hear Ruby’s ambition to surpass Ai, which might spur Nino to act on his behalf. However, if this was his goal, it’s odd that he has a white star. This contradiction suggests that, despite there being potential for manipulating Nino, Hikaru might still feel love for his children. If something were to happen to them, he would feel intense guilt, which he equates with closeness to Ai.

It’s really interesting if Ruby was a foil to him, much like Aqua. When Ruby displays a black star, her nature feels like her father’s: both have manipulated others, while keeping their hands clean. They both don’t fully seem to realise the harm in comparison to Aqua/Ai until later, with Ruby seeing herself as dirty because of it and Hikaru internalizing blame even for events he doesn’t have control over. Both characters also attach themselves to others for purpose (Aqua-Gorou/Ai). However, unlike Hikaru, I think Ruby has friends and family, that she made during the manga’s runtime, that can help her overcome this, but we don’t really see much of this in the manga yet.

In conclusion, I think his guilt keeps him tethered to Ai, but also to his children. I think so much about his character is still unclear, but that’s also what makes him fun to theorise about. What do you think?

Thank you for reading!

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