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halamet-chalamet · 4 months ago

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Hear me out! Spencer Reid x Coroner!Reader. Spencer and Rossi talk with the reader after they made the authopsy. Reader is impressed by Spencer's knowledge, but Spencer is even more impressed because Reader made an important deduction about the corpse that helps with the profile! In the meantime Rossi looks at the two of them talking excitedly about some kinds of bruises while feeling the third wheel

Spencer Reid x Coroner!reader

A/N: thank you for everyone’s patience guys! I’m so happy to be writing again. Feel free to send requests 🩷🪩

The case was chaos to say the least. I could tell just from the bodies received. I found it fascinating but couldn’t help but wonder what sicko did this. I handle my work with much sobriety and respect given I work with dead bodies. Most people are terribly uncomfortable around, I’m constantly told how odd it is by others.

Knowing the FBI has been called in today I gather all the reports they’ll need so that they can get the most accurate information possible.

I see the clock, 3pm, they’ll be here any minute.

An older Italian looking man comes in with another guy… he looks about my age, tall, lanky, cute, awkward looking. I quickly snap myself out of it.

“Hello, I’m agent Rossi and this is Doctor Reid.” The older man, Rossi I suppose motions to the young man and holds his hand out to me. I shake it and with a polite smile say.

“Oh- uhm- just Spencer..” The terribly cute agent smiles.

“It’s a pleasure. I’m y/n l/n. I’m here for whatever you need to know!” I say casually, I’ve never been in this type of situation but it’s my work, I don’t mind it at all.

The two men look over the bodies and their own files.

“We were told there were no defense wounds on any of the women but what would explain the bruises on the arm?” Spencer asks, looking up at me observing them.

“Oh those? My theory was that she fell on them. If you see the coloring here-” I use my finger to circle around the inside of a bruise. “This suggests sudden force like if you just dropped to your knees. There were hand marks on the thighs that suggest this also.”

Spencer takes a moment to analyze the information, “So you’re suggesting that the unsub grabbed her by her legs and she fell there on the arm?”

“Exactly! Yes, but there were no defensive wounds, and I found Rohypnol in each woman’s system, which a popular date rape drug.”

“Figures.” Agent Rossi pipes up but I can’t help but ignore him as I’m busy watching Spencer continue to analyze.

“Are these… rope marks?” He asks, pointing at the ankles.

I smile a bit dopily before I remember I’m being professional. “Zip ties actually..”

“Zip ties??” Spencer asks in surprise and almost a.. fond looking smile.

“Uh- yes…” I smile as I fumble through the papers in my hand. “I wasn’t sure what you guys would- would need so I put… these together..” I hand him a detailed file of all the information he could possibly need. I feel myself looking at him almost eagerly?

“These are wonderful thank you- thanks I’ll review these with the rest of the team I suppose-” He replies with a huge grin as he flips quickly through the files.

I nod in response, not sure if I should say anything, I’m just overly excited someone understands my line of work.

I feel a pair of eyes. I turn my head to look to the side where to my surprise the older agent stands there. His eyes are amused, his arms crossed as he leans back against the cold wall. I wonder what it’s about. I don’t care much about that though.. I decide that while I’m still high on this excitement I’d use whatever boldness I could muster up.

“Spencer..? Right?” I ask awkwardly, I know I’m right but didn’t know what else to say to grab his attention.

Looking up from the reports his eyebrows raise. “Yes that’s right…” he says expectantly.

“I know this is awfully unprofessional but do you think I could have your number..?” I ask with a flint of hope. My stomach flutters at your blushing cheeks.

“Y-yes, yeah of course…” he blushes and scrambles to his pocket for a pen, writing in the corner of a page in the file and tearing it out.

“Th-that’s me.. haha” he hands it to me, looking back at his grinning coworker.

“Thanks..” I smile wide as he checks his watch. I figured it wouldn’t be a long stay for them but I wish I got to speak with him longer.

“See ya..” he says as he’s rushed out the door.

#ITS HERE #HURAH #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds #mathew gray gubler #mgg fanfiction #send requests!#proud of myself low key #coroner!reader #request

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aesethewitch · 8 months ago

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From Notes to Grimoire

I’ve talked some about my thoughts and recommendations for taking notes for witchcraft, but what comes after that? In my method, notes are taken in a date-based, linear fashion. Subjects aren’t usually grouped together (unless you’re using separate notebooks for specific topics), and it can be tough to use rough notes like that for much more than basic study. I said in that post that I wasn’t talking about a reference document; I was just talking about writing down thoughts, ideas, spell tests, book notes, study notes, theory notes, and other assorted things as you research and learn about your craft.

So what about when you want to take your rough study notes and turn them into a nice-looking, well-organized, practical collection that’s better for regular referencing and actual use? That’s when you go from notes to grimoire.

(Note that this post is loaded with my opinions. I say it throughout, but go into this knowing that I’m speaking from my personal perspective — you won’t, and really you shouldn’t — agree with everything I say here.)

What Goes into a Grimoire?

Ultimately, what you put in your grimoire is up to you. I’m of the opinion that grimoires are and should be working documents. If you aren’t familiar with the term “working document,” it just means that the contents of the grimoire are always under construction. It means that you’re allowed to add, remove, and modify things as your practice changes over time. It also means that you’re supposed to reevaluate the grimoire’s contents every so often to make those updates. Complacency is the enemy of progress — there’s always a new question to ask or a new perspective to take. Keep the working document mentality in mind while you decide what to put in your grimoire.

With that said, in my opinion, a grimoire is not a place to take raw notes, write out theories, test spells, or even record divinations. Those things ought to go in your notebook, not your grimoire.

A grimoire is a reference document. It holds information on the spells, rituals, traditions, incantations, observances, and materials you actually use and need to look up. Grimoires are practical tools. Yes, they can look nice, but if the function isn’t there, it isn’t a grimoire — it’s just a scrapbook.

So, what should you put in a grimoire? Here’s a general idea of things I’d recommend:

Proven spells and recipes

Rituals you perform and when you perform them

Sigils, symbols, and spell vessels you’ve made and what they’re for

Instructions for making or obtaining materials for spellwork

A reference sheet for making substitutions

Holidays and events you observe and how you observe them

Divination instructions, including cartomancy spreads, magpie oracle charm lists, symbols you look for, and other relevant information

Plant, herb, stone, and crystal profiles

Fire, smoke, pet, and other safety details and instructions

Your astrological chart and its meanings

Profiles on spirits and deities you work with, including preferred offerings, important dates, descriptions of vessels, and details about any ongoing deals or agreements

Anything you commonly need to reference from books, online articles, or other sources

Conversely, here are things that should not go in a grimoire:

Notes on books you’re reading

Spells that are works in progress

Drawings of sigils in progress

Divination notes

Lists of books you want to read

Lists of topics you want to research next

Notes on spirit encounters

Journal pages

Rambles on magic theory

Information that has nothing to do with your witchcraft, spiritual path, religion, or other related field

Information you simply will not use

Obviously, you can add and remove things as you see fit. You should put whatever you commonly reference and whatever is practical for you in your grimoire. If you’re using it all the time, put it in there. If you don’t use something that “everyone” says “has” to be in your grimoire, don’t put it in. For example, I don’t use my astrological chart for anything. I know my big three, and that’s good enough for me. So, it doesn’t go in the book, no matter how many times I see it on those “what to put in your grimoire!” lists that go around witchblr every so often. Similarly, if you don’t have pets, you don’t need to put pet safety information in your book.

Use your common sense and discretion. Your grimoire is yours. If it isn’t practical, don’t put it in. If it is practical and relevant to you, but no one “recommends” putting that particular bit of information down in a grimoire, who cares? Write it down. You can always take it out later.

Creating and Maintaining a Working Document

Now, you’ll see grimoires referred to as working documents (or “living” documents) pretty frequently. You’re allowed to (and meant to) change things over time as you and your practice change.

But how do you do that? How do you keep an organized, practical reference document if it’s constantly changing?

Well, first of all, stop over-thinking it (I say to myself, frequently and loudly). Second of all, no matter what format you choose, from bound notebooks to binders to apps, the primary idea is to evaluate the contents regularly and to keep them in some kind of predetermined order. How that will look and how frequently you do reviews depends on you, your preferences, your practice, and the medium you choose. So, let’s have a look at some options and how I would suggest setting them up as a working-document-grimoire.

Binders

First (and best, in my opinion), are binders. There are a plethora of sizes and styles, so you can choose based on portability, available volume, color, and features according to your needs.

By far, the greatest benefits of using a binder for a grimoire are versatility and adaptability. You can create sections by inserting hunks of cardboard, sheets of colored paper, or pre-made pages with tabs that stick out for easy navigation. And, if you decide you don’t like the way your sections are organized, you can easily open the binder rings, take the section out, and put it wherever you want. In the same way, you can add and remove pages to any section at any point. You don’t have to allot space ahead of time or worry about running out of room in a given section.

Binders have a sort of inherent working document nature. With these, I would recommend reading through the entire thing at least twice a year to review the contents. When something sticks out as inaccurate, unused, or outdated, remove it. You can discard the page entirely or set up a separate “archive” folder to keep it in so you can look back and remember what you’ve taken out. (I keep one of these, though I’m considering moving it into a folder clipped into the back of my grimoire binder.)

On the other hand, if you find something in your grimoire that needs more attention, detail, or elaboration — or you just get inspired and want to add a new spell or bit of information to what’s already there — you can pull out the old page and replace it, or you can add a new page right after the existing one.

It’s up to you how frequently you go through your grimoire. Remember that this is a practical reference document. Set it up in a way that makes sense to you. Again, the nice thing about binders is that if you decide the way you’ve set it up is no good, you can change it without having to start over completely.

Notebooks

Obviously, there are a ton of types of notebooks out there. It comes down to pure personal preference what kind you go with.

Because notebooks can’t be rearranged in the same way that a binder can, keeping one as a working document obviously looks different. With any kind of bound notebook, I recommend doing a sort of yearly review. If much of your practice has changed, or if you find you’ve run out of room in your grimoire for new entries, it’s time to start into a new notebook. This doesn’t mean you have to disregard the original grimoire entirely.

You can copy over spells, information, and whatever else you like into the new book and shelf the original as a relic or treat the books like volumes in a series. In that way, you wouldn’t copy more than the essentials into the new grimoire; you would instead add entirely new spells, rituals, and information to it.

Either way, I would suggest dating the books. I would jot down at least the year(s) you work in the grimoire for organizational purposes. Remember that practicality and usability are the names of the game. You want to be able to use these books as references for your magical practice to help you remember things accurately.

The major drawback of any kind of notebook is that if you find you hate the way you’ve set it up, you can’t just go back and rearrange it. Once it’s down on paper, it’s down. You would either have to rip out the pages and move them manually, leaving them loose or re-pasted into their new places, or start up a new notebook entirely.

On the other hand, that has benefits, too. It removes the temptation to arrange and rearrange endlessly. If you’re indecisive and would waste too much time worrying about layout as opposed to getting a functional document up and running (even if it’s imperfect), a notebook may actually be a pretty good choice for you. It’s an exercise in tolerance for imperfection, to say the least.

Now, let’s have a brief look at different kinds of notebooks.

Divided Notebooks

First, let’s look at notebooks that come divided already. Whether it’s a subject-divided spiral notebook, a journal with built-in title pages, or journals that are divided into smaller journals inside them, part of the work has already been done for you.

A drawback of using these types of notebooks or journals is that you lose the ability to decide how much space is given to a particular subject. On the other hand, it can make getting started much, much easier. My first grimoire was in a large spiral-bound five-subject notebook. I divided it into five sections: Spells, Holidays and Seasons, Spirits, Plants, and Miscellaneous. Granted, at the time, I was taking notes into my grimoire. It wasn’t a very practical document; that wouldn’t come until several years later, when I figured out why I couldn’t remember anything with any sort of reliability. Now, I’ve got very strong opinions on note-taking and record-keeping.

It’s the chemistry nerd in me.

Blank Notebooks

This includes plain lined notebooks, unlined notebooks, and bullet journals. These are harder to use, in my opinion. I don’t think they’re very friendly to beginners who are creating their very first grimoire. These lend themselves better to note-taking notebooks than official grimoires, but you can certainly make them work.

To make a blank notebook function as a grimoire, you should spend a bit of time deciding the order of contents. How many pages do you want to dedicate to a given subject? What subjects will you place next to each other? Will information about moon phases be followed by planetary information, or will you talk about moon water and moon-based spellwork? Do you want to create sections and title pages ahead of time? To make it organized, you’ll want to decide these things somewhat in advance or leave room to add them later on. It’s easier to add (taping, gluing, paper-clipping, etc.) or remove (cutting, tearing, etc.) pages in some notebooks than others. Take that into account when you choose a notebook for your grimoire!

Sketchbooks

For the more artistically inclined magical practitioner, a sketchbook might make a good choice. If you plan on using materials like paint or watercolors, the thicker paper stock would be a solid asset. Artists will feel right at home drawing sketches, diagrams, sigils, and other illustrative details in their grimoires with a sketchbook. They have the same drawbacks as blank notebooks, being complete blank slates that you have to plan around, but they do end up being very nice to look at.

Like with blank notebooks, consider the order you want to put things in. Jot down titles, content, and ideas for drawings or art pieces you’d like to include in the final product. Remember that because the book is bound, you may not be able to add things to sections that have already been filled in. Consider artistic ways to show what’s on a given page to make it easier to manage — color-coded page edges, for example, might be an idea.

Junk Journals

I genuinely wouldn’t recommend using a junk journal for a formal grimoire. By their nature, they’re messy, disorganized, and difficult to parse through for information. They’re fun to make, don’t get me wrong — I love a junk journal for regular journaling and inspiration. But they don’t lend themselves toward organizational systems. If you’re going to use a junk journal as your formal grimoire, you’ll either have to resign yourself to hunting through pages for what you’re looking for or do some extensive planning in advance.

The best way to make a practical, working-document-style junk journal would be to combine it with a binder, I think. Create those iconic, aesthetic pages. Punch holes in them and place them into a binder in the correct location. That way, you still get the pretty aesthetic of the junk with the practicality of what a grimoire should actually be.

(Personally, I would use the junk journal aesthetic for section title pages in a binder — give it some personality and decoration without sacrificing any of the practicality.)

Digital Documents

I say that binders are the best option, but honestly, digital grimoires are up there, too. If you need to keep your magical practice more secret, if you don’t have time or energy to put together a physical book, or if you would prefer to have a system you can reorganize at the drop of a hat, digital grimoires might be right for you.

There are a ton of programs out there you can use. I’ve used Word, Scrivener, and Obsidian for grimoires and/or witchcraft note-taking, personally. Of them all, Obsidian is the one I would recommend most strongly. Word is… well, it’s Word. Scrivener is wonderful as a writer’s tool, and I use it to write these posts! I had moderate success with it for grimoire work. By far, Obsidian has been the best. The back-linking capabilities alone revolutionized the way I set up my grimoire (and other reference documents, including TTRPG notes). I really can’t recommend it enough.

Another program I’ve seen recommended frequently is Notion. While I can’t speak about it myself, since I haven’t used it, it does get rave reviews — particularly from folks who like to have a nicer aesthetic for their craft. Obsidian is pretty bare-bones aesthetic-wise, so if that’s important to you, Notion may be an option to consider.

With digital grimoires as working documents, I would follow the same guidelines as with a binder. Review the contents regularly, archive anything outdated, and evaluate the organizational layout for practicality. My biggest suggestion is to date the individual entries. Include the date you first create the page, obviously, but I would also include the date of the most recent update. If you want to get really lab-notebooky and formal about it, you could include every date you update it. (That’s what I do, personally, but I come from a database management background.)

The main downside to a digital grimoire is accessibility. If you’re out in the middle of nowhere without a computer or cell service, you may not be able to access your grimoire. I’ve seen folks set up entire grimoires using the notes app on their phones to make it easy to carry around, which is fine… unless you find it difficult to type with a phone keyboard. Physical books can be transported via bags, and they don’t need to be charged like a phone or laptop.

I also find that digital grimoires often lack the charm of a physical one. Even pretty, aesthetic templates on Notion are missing that witchy feeling. You know the one I mean — cracking open a tome of secrets to access the magic within just can’t be done through a screen.

Turning Notes into Reference Materials

This is probably the toughest part. After you decide what you want to include in your grimoire, now you’ve got to actually go through your notes and put together your collection.

The tone of your grimoire doesn’t necessarily need to be overly formal. It also doesn’t have to be publisher-ready. You aren’t writing a book on magic. You’re putting together a collection of materials that you want to be able to reference quickly and easily. It doesn’t have to make sense to anyone else or be absolutely perfect. Remember — this is a working reference document for you. If you mess it up, you can fix it later. Don’t be afraid to cross stuff out or be a little messy. So long as it stays practical and reference-able, you’re fine.

Spells and rituals are probably the easiest things to copy into a grimoire. You might even be able to copy them over verbatim from your notes, depending on how you took the notes. Bring over any changes you made to the spell, clean up the language, and make it easy to read. If you’ve scribbled on your notes, bring over any annotations that make sense. I wouldn’t copy all commentary; just the things that impact the working itself. You can include a “notes” section after the spell itself if you want to make note of your personal thoughts regarding the spell, what to expect during or after, and other information that might be found in the margins of your raw notes. Trim the excess. You don’t need your “lol this ingredient looks like a dick” joke in your grimoire, but you might want the “this ingredient can cause eye irritation, so don’t touch your face after handling” note.

If you’ve ever written an essay for school, I usually recommend a similar process. Your notebook is the basic first draft. For your grimoire, clean up the draft, fact-check yourself, jot down your sources, and then make it look nice.

“Making it look nice” could mean drawings, stickers, washi tape, pictures, and the like… or, it could mean choosing a clean font and ordering your steps numerically. If you’re hand-writing your grimoire, do your best to keep your writing legible. Always remember that these pages are intended as a reference document. If you can’t go back and read it, it’s failing in its function! That applies to overly-decorative pages, too; if your aesthetic is obscuring the information inside the grimoire to the point where you can’t parse the instructions on the page, it isn’t a grimoire anymore. There’s nothing wrong with a pretty, aesthetic inspiration book, but that’s not what we’re going for here.

My biggest piece of advice when transferring notes into a grimoire is to be practical. Not everything you learn about and jot down in your journal or notebook can (or should) make into your grimoire. If you aren’t going to use a spell, don’t include it. If you don’t go by the Wheel of the Year, don’t put those holidays down in your grimoire. Learning about things and taking in information is what the notebooks are for. Grimoires are akin to manuals.

Only take what you need from your notes. Think about what you want to incorporate and what you already use in your actual practice. You wouldn’t want to take down all of your notes about that witchcraft book you just finished, but maybe there was a spell or a correspondence table that you keep going back to look at. That’s something to put in your grimoire.

My Grimoire

I’m of the opinion that you shouldn’t share your grimoire with just anybody. Frankly, not a single person in my life has ever seen mine. I’ve shown off examples, and I’ll share my note-taking journal(s) on occasion, but you’ll never see my actual grimoire. My grimoire is for me. It isn’t for the aesthetic, and it isn’t for show. It’s a reference document that details my entire practice, from spells adapted from various sources to spirits I’m allied with to traditions that have been passed down in my family.

To no one’s surprise, I actually keep two grimoires. I’ve got my digital grimoire in Obsidian, which also doubles as a note-taking repository. I have several physical notebooks scattered around that I use in the moment, but everything gets recorded digitally for posterity and easy perusal. My Obsidian files are divided into categories which are then sub-divided into specific subjects. Raw notes, experiments, and theory crafting are kept separate from the reference sections.

And I keep a physical grimoire. I used to struggle with keeping physical grimoires. I was always unsatisfied with them, or I forgot about them, or I changed my mind about how I wanted them to be organized mid-way through and ended up frustrated. It’s why I swapped over to exclusively using digital programs — and why I landed at Obsidian in the first place.

But now, having a very good digital system in place, I find myself wanting to travel with my grimoire. I want to take it with me so that I can perform spells on the go. I’d like to take it to the cemeteries and forests I frequent to discuss its contents with those spirits and to accurately perform rituals without having to look at a blurry picture on my phone. Recently, I decided to repurpose an old binder that I once used for character creation. It’s got a pencil pouch in the front, and it isn’t too large to carry around. Plus, to the untrained eye, it just looks like a very nice student’s school binder. I could easily take it to a coffee shop to work on it and raise precisely no eyebrows.

It’s been a work in progress to decide how I want to lay it out. Writing this post and the taking notes post have been really helpful, actually. I think I’ve finally got a solid idea of what I want to put in it and how. It isn’t ready to show off, but I do think that once I have the layout settled, I’ll share more specifics about it to illustrate some of my points made here. Depending on what I decide to share, it may end up a Ko-Fi exclusive. (Just the layout/title cards would be fine to be totally public; pictures or descriptions of the actual pages would be exclusive.)

Ko-Fi supporters saw this post a full week early! If you enjoyed this post, consider throwing a couple dollars in my tip jar to get early access to posts like this one, plus exclusive extras. One-time supporters get 30 days of access to my backlog of exclusive posts, and members get extra benefits like discounts and more content. All support helps me keep the lights on and this blog active. Thanks!

#aese speaks #witchcraft #witchblr #witch community #taking notes #grimoire #making a grimoire #witch tips #for beginner witches #practical witchcraft

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bullet-prooflove · 6 months ago

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Welcome to Nightvale: Sean Archer X Reader

Tagging: @kmc1989 @to-grow-in-and-to-love @mandy426 @icefrye19 @toasted-stiletto

Sean’s relationship with you starts because of a book.

You’re in front of him in the queue at the café in Med when it slips out of your bag and hits the tiled floor, the pages fluttering open, revealing an array of multi-coloured post its. You’re too busy ordering too notice. It’s when he raises to his feet after picking it up that he comes face to face with you.

You’re pretty, so pretty that Sean doesn’t expect it. His mouth goes dry for a second before he holds up your book.

“You dropped this.” He says shyly as he hands it back to you.

“Thank you.” You say as you take it from him and place it back into your bag. “I’m reading it for my book club.”

“Welcome to Nightvale huh?” He says as he tucks his hands into the back pockets of his jeans. “I’ve heard the podcast but I’ve never read the book.”

“The podcast is much better than the book.” You tell him as you wrap your hand around your takeout coffee cup and raise it to your mouth. “I can lend it to you if you want? Maybe we can talk about it afterwards.”

His cheeks colour as a smile breaks across his features.

“I’d like that.” He tells you as he gives his own order to the server behind the counter. “They have a live show coming up in June. I’m on the fence about going, I’m not sure how it’ll translate in the real world.”

“I’ve been thinking about it too.” You say as he waits for his coffee. “A lot of podcasts are doing it now, I kind of feel it’ll be like online dating, great in theory, disappointing in real life.”

He laughs then because yea, that’s kind of true. He doesn’t do apps but he’s heard the horror stories from the guys he lives with.

“Online datings not really my thing.” He confesses as he picks up his coffee and gestures towards a table. He expects you to make an excuse, a reason to leave but instead you slip into the offered seat and he finds himself sitting down across from you. “I’m not sure what you can learn about someone from an online profile. They don’t really give you the whole picture.”

“Or they send you the ‘whole picture’ once you’ve connected.” You joke and he blushes when he catches your meaning.

“Unsolicited dick pics are not my thing.” He tells you, shaking his head. “I wouldn’t even know how to get the right angle. There has to be an art to it right?”

You laugh then and it really is the loveliest sound.

“What is your thing?” You ask him and Sean shrugs his shoulders.

“Honestly I’m trying to figure that out.” He tells you, his gaze lowering to his drink as his thumb chases over the ridged cardboard. “I’m taking some time, trying to learn who I am.”

“Can I tell you a secret?” You ask him, your elbows coming to rest upon the surface of the table.

“Sure.” Sean says as he leans in close and the scent of your perfume floods his senses. It’s airy and light, like the first breath of spring on his skin.

“I know this looks all put together but I’m still trying to figure my shit out.” You says gesturing at yourself. “Truthfully I feel like we’re just all a work in progress.”

It’s the kindest, most insightful thing that anyone has ever said to him.

“Come out with me.” He says softly, his eyes meeting yours. “We can go see that show, bitch about it afterwards.”

You pause for a moment and he realises he’s been too bold, too forward. He draws away, but your hand captures his, thumb skating over the hollow of his wrist.

“I’d like that.” You tell him, the edges of your mouth tipping up into a smile. “Really I would.”

Love Sean? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

#sean archer #sean archer x reader #one chicago #chicago med

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strawby15 · 4 months ago

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Lana (Dress to impress) Theories I put together

(I pinned this bc I might add more. And correct myself)

So I have translated some of the words in Lana's group and Öga role means eyes. Evighet means eternity. And Kråka means arm. This might be the limbs/parts lana has taken. For the eternity part I don't know.

In the other lana group called plague there is a user ibogenschutze and it says that he took their heart out while it was beating. Who is he? But it's weird that they are only a patron on the main group. Maybe Lana's sacrifice.

on the plague group The Role Fjärii (the owner role) means Butterfly. I have no idea what that has to do with the lore lol

Now with the people in the Evighet role there is: snowyxmistyy, Vinny, BAZINGAA, Rose, autumn, and blu3.

Snowyxmistyy's profile has nothing. Vinny's profile basically says he is trying to find out about Lana and why she executed him and the others. BAZINGAA's profile just says to join roses group, roses profile says join her group, autumns profile just says bababa and Blu3 says she has officially died in the Lana lore.

Now I don't know why they are in the eternity rule (evighet) but probably they are stuck in Lana's world. They will probably get more lore soon (probably not idk)

Öga role (means eye) are verified people. Owen, callmehhaley, Gigi, Twoket9. Nothing special about this role but I think they might be important in the future. Like since Lana has an eye patch she might take their eyes? Idk.

Btw the reason why I'm not covering the horizon role rn is bc I would have to go through 333 people. I will probably update this post and add it in the future.

The traitor role are the people who "betrayed" lana/called her out on what she has done. Nelly, Micheal, Rafael, sunny, and Nathan. If you want to know more watch Lana lore or the questionare videos where they got executed or smth

rankers are just the people who rank? Nothing special right now atm.

for the missing people Alexei is new (I think??) His profile is just asking what happened while he was gone. I think he will be important. My guess is that he really isn't missing or dead and that he just lost his memory and came back? There is Jisoo. Her profile is saying the world is crumbling around her and she says she's in a nightmare. Jayla says she trusted Lana but then she got sacrificed. By the way all the missing people except Alexei have the same outfit and remember when I mentioned ibogenschutze? Yeah they have the same outfit two. Probably a friend of theirs. Nicholas has some code you need a translator for. Uhh idk what translator you need :( but it's just like Sadie's. And I think it's new? Next is Sadie. Apparently in one of the questionnaire things she came back and talked about her. Then her tombstone is gone and I think is near lanas house? Yeah so not really anything new except for Alexei and the Nicholas about me thing. And Sadie's profile was uncoded. Check a Lana lore video and you'll see what it says.

next the herd. This is what I love the most bc I have some theories >:] so they are all Lana's disciples like they worship Lana and will do anything. Uhh yeah I'm not totally sure on that but let's check the profiles!!! Apart of the herd there used to be Nelly and rafael but they are now traitors. Anyways. Kayden. Dating jasmine and he's probably saying Lana is a dictator. Not jasmine? Maybe jasmine idk. Audrey's makes no sense. Uhh but saying it's not preppy in there makes sense because she doesn't like it? Idk she'll be important in the future I think. Then jasmine. Her profile says "Of course, people change, however, sometimes you're forced to resent such changes... and you know who I mean...I'll let it go for now. I'll stay." She thinks Lana is changing and she thinks that Lana will babe to resent the changes. But jasmine will stay and let go of it. She'll definitely be important. Oh it also says she loves kayden. So they deff dating.

Next kråka.which means arm. It's dierben. In the Lana lore video they say something about them I don't remember I'll update it once I watch it again. Diarben is the lead dti dev but they're a big part of the story.

Next. Agamemnon.i don't know anything about them yet but they'll be important I think. They are the owner of the plague thing. My theory is: is that Agamemnon made this plague to control Lana and it is changing her and he has big plans.

Phew and finally duva. Lana. Duva means should. I dunno what that means but yup the plague owner role meaning butterfly also doesn't make sense.

✨ this part I'm not sure on ✨ so Lana is on vacation right? Maybe it's the evil lana. Because on the Lana theory group (THIS MIGHT BE FAKE) Lana joined a server and gave everyone vip. Maybe it's the actual Lana trying to be nice while the evil Lana is on vacation.

Also I feel like something bad will happen on vacation like someone from the herd will be gone or go missing.

Okay now onto the plague group <3 the shout says "I promise I haven't forgotten about you all" I think this means she'll do something to us. She wants to give revenge on people who have her the plague? My other theory Is that she made a plague to take down the people she is wanting revenge one. One of the two now let's go into the roles!

Btw the other group saudade means longing maybe that has something to do with the eternity role. Idk

so first there's the cocoon role. Maybe this is like s figure of speech like the owner role being butterfly. When we go through the portal we will be at the final stage. Or maybe we arent ready yet.

The Herd. Basically the same except. Remember Alatheia? (ibogenschutze) they are in there. This is not an accident (I think) the about me says "HE RIPPED ME APART WHILE MY HEART WAS STILL BEATING" I think after lanas vacation we will find out who "he" is. Idk if diarben is a girl or boy but I'm thinking boy? So it might be diarben or kayden or maybe one of the missing boys? They will definitely be important. And the user (ibogenschutze) means archers and they are friends with... NELLY???? Idk if we know who this is but it might be Nelly but dead. Because she got executed I think? Idk maybe she's still alive because they did kill lana but it might've been a fake distraction. Now with the herd I will be talking about their users. What I mean is there @ (like example @ibogenschutze) jasmine is Appleintheforest. Now I don't know what this means but in the plague theres a role named Apple and it's lana so those might be connected? Like Lana's biggest supporter. Audrey is Oonaslays. Uh like with the first part this has to do with nothing but it's an old account from 2017 unlike jasmine but kayden's is from 2018. Idk what this means. Kayden's is freshfalls. These users (excluding Audrey) just might be about nature? Idk that's all I got from this.

League is the missing people. Possibly the couple of people they tested the plague on? Or they are the people who started the plague and then got hurt by it. Oh and by the way I think jisoo's bio means that when she opened Lana's third eye she See's nothing but darkness? Idk. Anyways to the users. Nicholas is Applebitten2. Which is like he bit into an apple. Which connects with jasmines. Like shes still an apple in the forest and Nicholas bit into the Apple and found out what happened. And his following is just lana. So another disciple? Now jisoo it's Mickeyiee I put it in the translator but it showed up with nothing. So kinda like audreys not important. Next Jayla is whisperingat now she might be whispering to people for help? (Btw jisoo and Jayla are not following anybody) Sadie is ihaveflowered. Maybe since she went missing and spoke out she is a new person. Not much about that since there's not much information. She is also following lana.

The next role is apple. Which is just lana.

Last role. Fjäril means butterfly. Possibly the last stage.

Also I went into the questionnaire game and there is a note that says "I'll be back to avenge you. Blessing from Agamemnon" I think this is the lana that they both killed. And I said before Agamemnon will be important. I think he is going to try and Resurrect evil lana? Idk.

I will be going through all the games to see if there's anything new. The only new thing about the questionnaire is the note and that sadies tombstone is ggone

Ok so I just went to the fortress. Jasmine is Obsessed with being always in Lana's eyes. She IS a disciple. A worshipper even. She has notes on a board that say "Micheal. Reason: has a disliking of me. And is a threat to me... Taking away attention from me from Lana's eyes." Next "Sunny. Reason: I just don't like her. I think the coterie will benefit from her being gone" finally "Rafael. Reason: I have suspicion of him betraying lana, spreading rumors that muddle Lana's reputation." The other notes (her diary and the note on jasmines bed) are to hard to read so I'm watching a video about it.

I found out that lana is not actually dead. Nelly's old bio was saying she thought lana died. But now she's somewhere else. Her new bio says "I don't want to be here anymore... I should have just never done what I did.." I think she is referring to that she's in the symphony of nox? Because the people who wronged the awakening in there. I think nice lana is in there? It's not wringing the awakening but lana could've put them in there. While watching callmehhaley's video I see that one of the badges says that the person is the sheep following the butterfly. And on the plague group Agamemnon is the butterfly. I think Agamemnon is the mastermind unless this is another distraction.

I'm going to watch all of callmehhaley's videos so ill update later <3 strawbs out

Alexei was apart of the corterie. Idk why he's in missing now and has an new fit.

Ok so sunny got wrongfully executed and so did Micheal. It's all because of jasmine. She had the board and that means jasmine is behind all of it.

With the portal. Lana killed all of the four people to activate the portal. To avenge the person (lover? Idk) but it didn't work. She tried sacrificing more to activate it again but they ended up killing her so I think she was the key to the portal and it opened.

So Agamemnon's room (theone with the note saying he'll kill lana when he's done. It says the devs eyes will be in good use. Well I know Gigi and Haley aren't devs but they are under the role that's translates to eye. Agamemnon is going to use their eyes

Ok so now I know who alexei is. He was like a herd member but didn't talk much? So now the monster killed him. Also I might not update this for a while lol if u wanna know more look at callmehhaley's vids <3

#Lana #Lana the nail lady #dress to impress #DTI #Lana lore #Help me I am invested in the lore now

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clus444 · 4 months ago

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RealityStar! Gaz Part 3

Open The Chat Rooms

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"Hello everyone! I'm your host, Sativa, and I'm here to test certain theories about love. The contestants will blindly choose their 'Their Forever Partner' and be put through challenges so we can find out how forever their partners are gonna be," Sativa says cheekily. "Sometimes we put what we call 'spies' in the game that no one knows about. Their job is to act like their here for love but its to test limits. More will be explained later as I want to get this show on the road. My final question to the contestants is, are you ready?" The screen turns black and I stare at it waiting for something else to happen.

The words ' Start dating' appear with a loading bar under it. The room is nicely decorated with a beach theme to it. The walls are a nice blue color with a accent wall painted to resemble a beach. They put nice black couch in the wobble with beach themed pillows. Quotes about not giving up taped on the wall. One camera not so secretly placed in the top corner of the room.

The bar finishes loading and 12 profiles pop up. I accept 4 chats and I start three with a simple,

R-Heyyy

Everyone was told no names in case recognition happened. Especially since some have made it known they were on the show. One of the chats consisted of talking about sports only, one treated it as a sex thing kinda and I immediately left, and the others were downright boringgg!

How hard is it to have a normal conversation? Though I can't completely blame them. Dating for me hasn't been lucky and I think I find myself carrying that onto here. But hell can you blame me? Rome wasn't built in a day.

I decide to click on one more before finishing for the day. Clearing my mind and coming at this with as much positive energy as I can.

R- Your profile says that you are from Great Britain

Is the food as bad as they say?

G-Though I love my country,God bless the queen (She's alive right now,I have my reasons), the food does have its faults compared to America

R- Are you trying to say it is better than any other place?!?

G-I said we had some faults... We have some delicacies

R- Can you even count chicken masala...

G- I'll have you know that degradation is my kink

I laugh out loud at that. I guess I kinda did go in hard.

R- Looks like we have something in common.

We began texting back and forth the conversation flowing smoothly. I catch myself giggling and twirling my hair. We talk about movies and of course land on the argument of rose and jack. He could've fit!

G- Yes the door was big enough but! Weight would weigh them down.

R- Puh-Lease! She could have given him her life jacket to help cover him for the cold.

We talk about each others families. His father was enlisted in the army but now spends his days in the wilderness to get his hands dirty. His mom stayed at home to care for him and his sisters. I told him about how my father died which left me and my mother. I only have one sister.

R- My father passed when I was young so I don't have many memories with him.

G- Daddy issues go crazy for the both of us.

Though my father is here, we weren't always close. We are now repairing our relationship.

I also found him to be very funny and quite sassy! His quick comebacks had me dying on the floor. I'm sure the viewers will have a field day with our messages.

*Buzzt*

A buzz happens and lets us know that we have to stop chatting.

G- I'll text you tomorrow. Tell your other dudes I'm first in line.

I smile as I reread his text. I fist bump the air as I start to feel like this wasn't a complete failure. Maybe love is in my cards or maybe I'm being naive and desperate. I'm not quite sure but what I do know is that if this doesn't work out, Hot Girl Summer will!

Kyle receives a small message that says...

S- Feel free to make a confessional. Just grab the camera under the couch and set it where to computer is.

He thinks for a moment weighing his options. He grabs the camera and sets it up. How should I start?

"I'm Kyle Garrick but everyone calls me Garrick. So far I've talked to 8 people. Only two really catch my eye but I have my doubts about this whole thing," He pauses and laughs.

"For some reason, I can't shake the feeling that none of this is real. What can I say? Stacey and I share a similar military family background. And the other one just seems crazy. But I will admit how interested I am to see how this plays out," He finishes talking and signs out.

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Giving you all some more plot but I cant lie and say I wanna skip some parts. Anyways hope you enjoyed!!!

Masterlist

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whoiwanttoday · 8 months ago

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The world is often full of some inherent contradictions that make it hard to navigate. Experience is really the only compass we have, which is why in theory we should listen to our elders but in reality a lot of them have dementia and the truth is an experienced dipshit is still a dipshit, so if you are young you don't really have the experience to tell which else is wizened and which one is just old and bitter. Like drugs are a good example. I grew up in an era where we sure were told a lot about how bad drugs were. I remember this one PSA where it was a guy in profile and he started talking aobut trying pot and the top of his head turned to ash, then he did more drugs and more of him turned to ash and eventually he like died in a gutter and all ash and got blown away at the end. It's scary stuff but as you get older you see other people do drugs and they don't choke on their own vomit at all. Instead Jessica Miles makes out with them. It's not at all what the PSAs warned us about and you start to feel a little lied to when you realize drugs actually make you feel good and if you do them then people think that you're cool. Obviously, it takes time to know there are degrees to all of this. You can do all the lines of coke you want off of a computer desk at 7 AM while sitting in your underwear and writing about who you want to fuck today and pretty much no one will think that you're cool, so context still matters but it is one of those inherent things that meant I saw a lot of people swing too far one way and then the other in response to this sort of thing.

Anyway, I was thinking about this and how we can really vacillate too far one way or another and Anne Hathaway and Christopher Nolan. Nolan recently said he didn't know what the line meant, "You either die a hero or live long enough to become a villain" meant when he put it in the movie and I am with him there, like I kind of got it but it felt like a cumbersome line and no one had ever said that before so why did they act like it was a common saying. People say it now though and boy does it resonate as we as a culture turn on things and people. Anne Hathaway said in an interview about how hard it was when the internet turned on her. I remember that. I never quite got it but I was told it was because I wanted to fuck her so I was blinded to what a monster she is I guess. I'd love to counter this claim but my dating history makes it pretty clear that this is entirely possible. Anyway, I don't want to discount the possibility that Anne Hathaway is a monster but the truth is none of us know. She's certainly not our friend and I am willing to believe I would find most celebrities unbearable in person. This is just because they live in a world where they are surrounded by people who makes sure they know they are the center of the universe and I don't really know how that doesn't turn someone into an asshole. Like I have a ZZ Plant in my kitchen named Spencer. He's named Spencer because someone once told me plants are supposed to have names so I named him Spencer. Then they told me that's a stupid name and I said, "You're mom's stupid". We both laughed like it was a joke but I kept the name Spencer just to tweak her and I hope deep down my witty comeback still haunts her when she can't sleep. Anyway, my point is I don't particularly care about Spencer's feelings or if he even thinks Spencer is a good name. I water him when the notification comes up on my phone and otherwise kind of ignore him. What I am saying is lots of plants might think I am an asshole because I consider myself to be far above them and they might be right but Spencer is the only plant here so those other plants are just guessing. So Anne Hathaway might treat people like garbage or just sort of not think about them because she is supporting them and watering them but I don't know. So the idea that celebrities are someone to lionize or vilify is kind of weird but I think about my friends now who give their kids lectures on drugs when I fucking saw you rolling at foam parties and pretty much groping anyone who would let you. We aren't great at inbetweens. So like, sorry Anne Hathaway went through that but it's kind of just how people work. I had a point here but I lost it, I was too caught up laughing about how much it probably burns that I named my plant Spencer and got off a sick Mom joke on someone 4 years ago. I guess my core point is today I want to fuck Anne Hathaway.

#Anne Hathaway #brunette #Actress #whoiwanttofucktoday

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hcfiles · 6 days ago

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Once in a while, one or two anons come to this page trying to make me feel bad for keeping it and writing about the latest sh*t show, usually and normally, distorting my ideas and intentionally, misinterpreting what I write. It wouldn't surprise me if, among this small portion of "minions", there were people from Henry's management and Natalie's friends (that are probably having a hard time on social media in several different pages, sites and apps) trying to make this go away.

The fact is that, the more they come with their amateur strategies, the more certain people are about their impressions. Reporting how we see this and what we think about it is bothering them. Why? Because, if all our thoughts about it were madness and fiction, they wouldn't care, and pages like mine would have been gone by now. Four (4) years have gone by since this circus started and, LET'S NOT FORGET that, the first to criticize it and expose it as a sh*t show, discrediting it, wasn't the fandom, but a Talk Show on National TV, which made fun of this shenanigan and made Henry Cavill look ridiculous.

So, fans weren't the ones starting this. His own people and his work environment did, what never happened before. So, this was supposed to explode and he was to be exposed (of course, without his knowledge). This PR stunt was a set-up! My question is: Up to what point was Natalie aware? This relationship was obviously fake for attention (Pathetic). From the beginning, he seemed uncomfortable and miserable. If they were really a couple, that meant he would have known about her rep and lies, would have predicted the bad publicity (accepting it) and would have faced it happily and proudly.

But, that wasn't exactly what happened, was it? He immediately got sick about it, showed as if he was hit by a train and caught by surprise, looking miserable, obligated to smile, while crying inside and hiding from social media and fandom, who he antagonized (big mistake) and blamed for reacting to a farce. He didn't see it coming. And, it all happened, while Miss (or Mrs.) Promiscuous was having the best time of her life, despite clearly being a redneck not used to the environment she was now, getting into.

So, it's easy to conclude he didn't know this woman well and things didn't happen the way it should. His team clearly had a hard time trying all sorts of damage control strategies, while it gave the impression this PR stunt initially had no management team behind it, because things were out of control and that's when they apparently, came in. One of my first theories is he decided for this PR stunt as a favour to a "friend", which is probably more of a fox or wolf (probably from Legendary) and didn't know about this woman's rep, which certainly, caused a second fuss after the news the Talk Show gave.

Of course he probably got s*x***ly involved. He's a man and the woman, a promiscuous, and both had to sell the idea they were a real couple. Maybe PR stunts are a way he found, not only to promote his manhood, but also, a way he pays these women for their s*x*al favours, a "You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours" thing. It's pro**I***ion disguised with glamour.

Henry Cavill was exposed as a hypocrite, a liar and this sh*t hit him straight on his Ego. He immediately felt ashamed for finding himself in this trap, but getting out of it with the announcement of a breakup, right after the news of the date and being stubborn, would be a confession the plot was fake, it would also expose whoever planned this and her/his reasons (maybe exposing something this person had against him). It would also, put Natalie Viscuso in a worse position, he would be accused of being prejudiced, xenophobic and sexist and probably would be sued by her for she was exposed to public execration, while his PR.

It was actually mandatory to give this woman a clean profile, not only to avoid a lawsuit, but also, to minimize the damage to her image and his own. It could also be to avoid problems with a Legendary big shot, who could be her "sponsor". An end to the PR deal, at that point, probably looked the worst choice.

a) First, because she could be a Legendary CEO lover and that could cause him trouble.

b) Secondly, apparently, Natalie denied ending the PR contract and threatened to sue him if he ended it.

c) Also, because he would feel humiliated as a liar. He probably thought he had a chance to convince people. But, it immediately became just an attempt to deal with the gossip as a prank. Until the pregnancy followed by the paternity fallacy, both used as promotional strategies.

How low do these people go for fame? It was a management mistake after the other and it only happened first, because he accepted going on a PR stunt with a woman he didn't know well with amateur and unprofessional management, also because Henry Cavill has self esteem issues and is vain. This spoke louder than professional reasons. This circus wasn't professional. Friends and family willingly, got involved and that's why they ended a target as well. This shenanigan was excessively exposed for gossip. They teased for a reaction blaming the ones responding, for they didn't have the guts to be accountable for their own stupidity.

#henry cavill #celebs

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tsukkismoonlight · 2 years ago

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For You, Anything || NakedToaster x Reader

Authors note: I meant to put this in when i posted it hut work got in the way smh but !! This was my piece for the Teahouse collab, which you can find the other entries here !

Warnings: general warnings around breakups, thoughts/anxiety related to self image/self worth

Summary: You've sworn off love. After the way your last ex treated you, after all of the heartbreak, and all of the nights you lost to someone who didn't care, you have had enough. Or, that's what the plan had been. You wouldn't have guessed that a tiny fan server with less than ten members hid someone who made everything feel like all of that pain was worth it. And you, they'd do just about anything.

WC: 1.5k

You can tell that the little server is starting to wake for the night, by the sound of your notifications going off at a rapid pace. A smile crosses your face as you head over to your computer, double clicking on its icon that you had previously pinned to the taskbar.

One by one the messages loaded before your eyes, not that you had much time to read them before everyone was welcoming you back.

Nightowl was the first, as he quickly sent 'Hey hey hey! My fellow insomniac is here!'

'You two seriously need to fix your sleep schedules.' Was Onion's way of saying hi to you today.

'Hello to you too, Onion. I swear i'm trying my hardest' you type in response, before pausing and sending another message, 'Nightowl on the other hand…he's beyond saving.'

This earned an appearance from Quest, who came in to defend Nightowl on the low, 'Lets not gang up on the kid,'

'Thanks Quest, at least someone believes in me T-T'

You hummed to yourself, as another message made its way into the server. Though, this time it wasn't directed at you.

'Well if it isn't the ever so elusive Toaster.' Xyx's odd profile picture graced the chat room as he noted that Nakedtoaster was now active in the server.

'Wakey wakey Toast and shakey~' came Nightowl, quick to reference a story that Salo had told the group some few days ago.

'That again? How many times are you going to greet me with that, Owl?' You could practically hear the half-hearted exasperation through Toaster's message as if he was sitting right next to you.

'Is it better than Xyx always following up with "what's shakin bacon?" ' owl asked next, knowing full and well that Toaster really didn't mind either of the terms.

You took the slight lapse in the conversation to greet him yourself, 'good evening Toasty,'

'yeah yeah evening' he sends, then a short pause before another message from him loads, 'specifically good evening to you though.'

Another smile settles onto your features, as you reread his message.

From there the server seemed to find a good tempo in a happy conversation, talking about some bloomic fan-theory that June happened to come across just a few days prior.

You pull your attention away from the monitor for a moment to check your phone, swiping away the notifications displayed at the top of its screen. Outside of the server, you didn't have very many people to talk to. Sure, you had a few friends from work, and maybe one or two acquaintances that you made when you were still in school, but as life seemed to drag on, the less you heard from them. There was a point in time where you had a previous partner, and you had spent most of your free time with him.

And while things had started off nicely, they didn't end that way. He was controlling, you had to dress a certain way, speak a certain way, you had to take interest in the things he liked. The conversations were never about you. He would constantly criticize you, from the way you looked, to the way you'd write your As. By the time you finally managed to escape the guy, he had stripped you of who you were, or who you had been.

Your eyes glance to the date in the corner of your monitor. It had been nearly a year and a half since then. A year and a half of trying to fit cut up puzzle pieces together, in hopes that you'd get to see yourself again. Eighteen months of pushing yourself past your limits just to pick your hobbies and interests back up. Eighteen months of wondering if you could even go back to who you were before the guy.

A quiet ping from your computer broke you from your thoughts, and you looked to see a message from Toasty in the juicy gamers channel, one that only held Xyx, Toaster and yourself. Its purpose was supposed to be for Toaster and Xyx to talk about ffxiv, but by now it was just another chat room within the bloomic server.

As you clicked on the channel, you saw that it had been Nakedtoaster who pinged you, asking if you were alright, since you had gone quiet in the general chat.

'I'm alright! I was just thinking about something a little serious, I guess I got lost in my train of thought for a bit.'

You watched as it showed him typing, then a pause, then that he was typing again. Finally, he sent his message, 'wanna talk in the voice channel? You can share your thoughts with me if you'd like'

You pause for a moment. That would mean telling them about your ex. Not that you weren't ever open about your past with the server before. But, this was different. After breaking things off with your ex, you had promised yourself to do one thing; to swear off love, at least until you were ready to try again. You didn't want to rush into another relationship, only to doubt yourself again. You couldn't get stuck in another situation like that, especially if you weren't ready to put yourself first. And if you were being honest with yourself, you hardly had the words to explain that to someone else.

Yet, you found yourself joining Toaster's call, easily falling into the pattern that the two of you had made in your time in the server.

"You /still/ take forever to join calls," he smiles into his camera, slightly leaned forwards as they spoke into their mic.

You playfully roll your eyes at the comment, sighing as you did, "Not my fault /someone/ is so impatient,"

"Only because it's you,"

Your breath seems to hitch in your throat. Toaster said it so casually, that you almost missed how they actually meant it. You always seemed to misinterpret their words, everything he said always felt like it held more weight. And despite your vow to stay far away from relationships, you could never shake off the ever growing mix of anxiety and something that you didn't want to name that resided within your mind.

"Hey, you alright? I've called your name a few times now," Toasty is leaned back in his chair again, a worried look clear as day on his face.

You blink a few times, fighting off an awkward smile, mind racing to think of any excuse. When you couldn't form the words, Toaster let out a slow chuckle, as if he had understood your train of thought.

"I meant that as in…well." He paused, a heavy blush spreading across his face, "As in, I really enjoy talking with you and I'm impatient."

"But, only me?"

"Yeah. I wanted to say something earlier, but, I think I might have developed..uh..feelings for you."

The feeling was back. A confusing amount of dread, and content, like oil and water, refusing to mix but making themselves known aggressively.

"Toaster I-" you start, feeling your hands begin to shake, "I'm not…well…I don't want to outright say no or anything but..I'm not sure I'm ready for..well for that."

To your surprise, they let out another gentle laugh, nodding their head as they leaned back towards their mic, "I know,"

"Huh?"

"Well, I remembered awhile back that you mentioned a shitty ex, so I figured that this might be the case if I did confess…which is why I prepared myself." You watch as he fidgets with the short microphone stand, his eyes straying to something on his desk as he continued, "I'm not going to rush you. And I'm not going to make you tell me anything about your past relationship. I wanted to tell you that I like you, so that you know that I'm here, if you'll have me, whenever that may be."

You were stunned. Despite spending so much time with the Blooming Panic server, getting to know everyone, and letting them get to know this new, healing version of yourself, you had never stopped to think that any of them would actually take a deeper interest in you. Especially when you seemed to feel so lost in your own self worth and image, like looking into a mirror that was hastily glued back together. And yet they had. Nakedtoaster had looked at the same mirror, and decided that he wanted you.

You hardly notice a small stream of tears that fall from your face, as you speak, "You'd do that for me? You'd really wait?"

They lean back in their chair again, looking towards their camera with half lidded eyes, "I like you for who you are, and I know that. So, as long as I know that I want you, I'm okay with waiting."

He lets you sit for a moment, not commenting on your tears, or on the way you couldn't believe his words. Toasty was true to their words, they'd be okay with you taking your time, in this moment, and in the next. Something told you that you could trust him with that. Slowly, you let a smile make its way onto your face as you wipe away the uncertainty that had come from your eyes. Then, when you bring your attention back to them, they say one more thing.

"So, of course. For you, I'd do anything."

#teahouse collab: dark chocolates #collab #multifandom collab #blooming panic visual novel #blooming panic #bloomic #Nakedtoaster #blooming panic nakedtoaster #bp nakedtoaster #nakedtoaster x reader

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tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 1 year ago

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Hey everyone, guess what’s on the internet? It’s the Daniel Kitson archive 2.0!

This first appeared on the internet a few months ago, and by "appeared", I mean I did a small amount of work and someone who isn't me did a large amount of work, and that put it online. My contributions were mainly listening to too many hours of radio files so I could work out what each one was, digging through things like old message board threads to match dates and radio stations and other metadata to those files, and cutting up some of the older ones to make song-free versions but saving titles and artists of those songs to make tracklists. Most of the files where I did the editing were from the older years when Kitson was not so diligent about back announcing and on some occasions told us that even he didn't know what the song was, so this involved a fair bit of Googling lyrics to indie music. That was my main contribution, really. I Googled a lot of lyrics to indie music. Those were my contributions, unless Daniel Kitson ever breaks his promise that he doesn't Google himself anymore and finds that website, in which case, my contributions were nothing and I have never heard of Daniel Kitson.

Seriously, though, someone else who has been amazingly helpful to me for the past year did all of the actual work of designing and creating the website, amassing the collection of audio files over many years, and quite a lot of the editing too, and I am very grateful for that, and all other comedy fans should be as well, and everyone should check out this beautiful bit of archiving.

A few updates have been made to the site since I first posted it months ago, and this weekend, a whole bunch more updates were made, which is how I justify the 2.0 designation. I re-listened to Kitson’s 2019 run last week to complete the last few tracklists that we were missing – so now every file that has songs also has a text-based tracklist as well as a music-free version. And for the 2019 run specifically, may I recommend the music-free version? Going back over that one really reminded me of how bad the music was in that year specifically – I didn’t love it in 2018/2020/2023 either, but I think 2019 was the worst. Anyway. Daniel Kitson has put some great music on his radio shows over the years and has introduced me to lots of music I now really like. But most of that is stuff he played before he got really into LCD SoundSystem in 2012.

Anyway. There are other significant updates, as compared to when it was first posted, in the misc. radio section. A bunch of files that I haven’t seen floating around anywhere else, and I have looked quite hard. The BBC Loose Ends clip from 2003 that he famously told a long story about in one of his early shows, and it is fascinating to get to hear the actual episode and compare it to the story (he is, of course, spot on). Just this weekend, a radio interview from 2002 was added that was fantastic Classic Kitson. And a bunch of guest spots on Australian radio from various years between 2006 and now. It’s good stuff.

The biggest update is that there’s now a whole new tab for writing. We avoided including reviews of specific Kitson shows, but it includes all kinds of other stuff, like interviews with him and profiles about him and even a few things written by Kitson. It’s heavy on stuff from early in his career, before he stopped agreeing to do interviews or be profiled. But there’s some recent stuff, from people who have profiled him whether he wants them to or not. A lot of those PDFs back up my theory that there are like five people in the world who are capable of sounding like a normal person while talking or writing about Daniel Kitson, and none of those people work for any major arts-reviewing publications (to be fair, none of them write this blog either).

I highly recommend going through this thing, even if you're not hugely into Daniel Kitson, because this is a great way to start. For specifics of what's contained in each section of the archive, I'll just link to the post I made when it first went up in May, since the information is basically the same now as it was then. But there's more of it now. A whole bunch more and it's all enormous fun.

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milfglupshitto · 2 years ago

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Writing Masterpost

Canon-Compliant Original Fiction

albatross: my longest fiction piece to date (6-7k words). link is the info post with all chapters, description can be found there.

bonus: visual profiles and notes for the original and not-quite original characters introduced in albatross

Canon-Divergent Original Fiction

burn it: not as long as albatross but still lengthy! same deal, link is the info post with all chapters and the description can be found there.

Canon-Adjacent Short Writing

the snare: technically can be read as speculative for Thrawn (2017) but accessible to those who haven’t read the book or have no familiarly with Star Wars at all

still on patrol: about a Star Wars vessel but you could probably read this without knowing any context beyond ghost ship cool.

Rebels Sequel Content

rebels sequel script: it’s in the dropbox link. ask me about the free program I used!

rebels sequel skeleton notes: more later-season plotlines and more discussion of themes

rebels sequel rogues gallery: breakdown of the thematic importance of various villains I would include given full creative control and permission from original creators + ability to adequately compensate them

more on bakokin tell: an original villain warrants more explanation

In Which I Describe the Content of a Thrawn-Adjacent Book Austistically

gender systems in Zahn’s books: long-ish brief look at fandom behaviors in relation to original text

deuteragonist meta: she’s even color-coded. I got diagnosed like a year later btw

outbound flight and survivor’s quest: I read some books in apparently the wrong order and made some themes about it

In Which I Describe the Content of a Thrawn-Adjacent Book Comedically

hand of thrawn duology: what it says on the tin

more of that but blended canon and EU this time: can you guess which books and characters I’m talking about? find out by clicking on the link!

alliances: hey it’s darth vader this time! everybody look at darth vader

alliances again: I think this one was actually the first like chronologically

Stand-Alone Content

thrawn gender rambling: approaches incoherence with astonishing speed. still, important to me

thrawn terrible childhood rambling: I’ll never pass up a chance to make him thematically better and emotionally worse

x files comparison: have you ever wondered what would happen if fox mulder had net zero swag? wonder no longer.

eli no bitches??? rambling: I think he genuinely has never had any friends. click the link to see me make my case

chess and checkers: more eli. checkers is very swagful to me

semiextragalactic force sensitivity rambling: brief speculation on support systems for parents of force sensitive children in communities detached from the Jedi Order

bonus: theoretical clone wars episode based on similar concept

hey so what’s the deal with the grafs actually: I read the whole adventures in wild space series and I’m still very skeptical of the whole everything

hey more wild space stuff: I see Lysatra and I put my looking eyes on

thoughts on modern vs classic star wars evil: on the heels of kenobishow, I had some thoughts

an interesting line construction in the Ronin novel, catalogued: also what it says on the tin

review of Shadow of the Sith: in short, there was a good bit I didn’t like

my Lesser Evil theory: so I was wrong. what about it?

the force as an overwriting pen: two small blurbs about being toyed with by something inconceivably more than you

luminous beings: a series of blurbs about non-force-sensitive acquiring force sensitivity

similarities between the Chiss and the Romans: I’ve been studying Latin for six years and I have problems about it

Hey, This Isn’t Star Wars

monsters vs aliens is a transgender allegory: you know I’m right.

you know surf’s up? the penguin movie? trans. gender. allegory: YOU KNOW I’M RIGHT. also, I know it’s not really writing. sue me

#my writing #long post #finally pulled it all together!#I didn’t think I wrote so much thrawntent so compiling this was like getting kicked in the teeth over and over.#sad!

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thelaithlyworm · 1 year ago

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I agree with most of what OP wrote, but no, liking a fic does not impose the obligation of writing a comment.

Trust me. I love comments. They make my heart big. Sometimes they make me cry great, fat tears of joy. But I also know what zero-spoon days are like and unless this was made for you in an Exchange (different etiquette rules), no you don't hafta. I promise.

But yeah, don't edit the date of your fic just to keep it at the top, and don't complain in Comments or Bookmarks unless the writer specifically says that's okay. (You can make a Bookmark private and put complaints there if you need to keep track of what you didn't like about a piece.) If you really didn't like it, vague about it on social media, or write another, better fic.

"Fic Searches", ie. a social media post asking for help finding a story you vaguely remember, do not belong in a fic archive like AO3. Neither do letters introducing yourself to a new fandom. (You can put an introduction in your Profile though!)

While you're in your Profile, consider putting in a Blanket Permission Statement, ie. how you feel about derivatives of your work like podfic or fan art. This can be as simple as "No, I never want that to happen," or, "Please ask first," or, "I welcome podfic and translations, send me a link when it's done!" Some writers add a caveat about keeping any derivative works hosted on AO3.

Do not ask for money on AO3. Do not advertise for paid commissions on AO3. Do not mention you have a kofi or a patreon account on AO3. That shit constitutes commercial use, and can literally get you banned. You can link to another social media site, and that site can mention kofi etc. But you keep talk of money off AO3.

Mute and Block functions now exist, to help avoid unpleasant people. Use them, and be joyful. If someone is harassing you, contact Support. Try not to harass other people, even if they're really awful. Mute and Block are your friends, I promise.

Sorry for an intimidating list. But, have fun!

EDIT:

Yes, you can write essays on your meta-theories, or how you tracked a visual motif through a movie, or a How To guide on something technical and fandom related. The AO3 requirement is 'non-ephemeral fan work', and essays and meta fall under that umbrella.

AO3 Etiquette

It would seem a whole new kind of AO3 reader/writer is emerging and it is becoming clear not everyone quite understands how the website community works. Here is some basic guidance on how most people expect you to go about using AO3 to keep this a fun community archive that funtions correctly:

Kudos is for when the story was interesting enough to make you finish reading. If it sucked or was badly written, you probably left. If you finished - you kudos.

If you liked it, you should comment. It can be long and detailed or a literal keysmash. Writers don't care, we just love comments.

No critisism unless the author has specifically asked or agreed to hear it. Even constructive critisism is a no-no unless an author note tells you it's okay. Many people write as a fun hobby or a way to cope with, among other things, insecurity. Don't ruin that for them.

Do not comment to ask the author to write/update something else. It's tacky and off-putting and will probably have the opposite effect than the one you want.

There is no algorithm, it's an archive. Use the search and filter function to add/remove the pairings/characters/tropes etc. you want to read about and it will find you the fics that fit the bill.

For this to work, writers must tag and rate stories. This avoids readers finding the wrong things and missing the stuff they want. I don't care how cringy that trope is in your eyes - it gets tagged.

Character A/Character B means a ROMANTIC or SEXUAL relationship of some kind. Character A&Character B is PLANTONIC, like friendship or family.

Nothing is banned. This is an implicit rule because banning one thing is a slipperly slope to banning another and another, until nothing is allowed anymore. Do not expect anyone to censor for you. Because of the tags system, you are responsible for your own reading experience.

People can create new chapters and sequels/fic series any time after they "complete" a story. So it's considered perfectly normal to subscribe, even to a finished story. You can even subscribe to the author instead just to cover your bases.

Do not repost stories or change the publishing date without an extremely good reason (like a complete top to bottom rewrite). It's an archive, not social media. No one cares what's the most recent, only what fits their tag needs.

Avoid deleting a story you wrote if you hate it - orphan it so others can still enjoy it, without it being connected to you anymore.

This is a creative fanfiction archive. No essays on your insights or theories please. There are other places for that.

I KNOW there's plenty more I missed but I'm trying to cover most of the basics that people seem to be struggling with.

I invite anyone to add to this, but please explain, don't berate.

#ao3

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talkingpointsusa · 5 months ago

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Debunking Candace Owens' bizarre idea of what happened on 9/11

I have been putting off covering the brand new Candace Owens Show for a little while now. I opened up the first episode and it was mostly just Candace trying to stir up some petty drama between her and the Daily Wire's Andrew Klavan. Andrew Klavan is probably the most boring man on the face of the Earth and Candace Owens acting like a petty fourth grader about things that he said about her is not enough for me to to A): listen to Andrew Klavan’s boring ass voice to prep the post and B): have enough substance to fill an entire blogpost. Screw the Daily Wire, screw Andrew Klavan, and screw Candace Owens. They absolutely deserve each other.

So I decided to put Candace on the backburner until a later date, hoping that she'd put out something "blog worthy" in the near future. Well ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the near future! This ones a bit of a wild ride and we have a lot to talk about so lets get into it.

01:26, Candace Owens: "Where were you on 9/11? I mean, if you're a millennial like me the terrorist attack left an indelible mark on your childhood."

Woo boy.

So, todays episode is all about 9/11 and let me tell you, I've been waiting for this day! This blog is all about countering far-right conspiracy theories and rhetoric with actual facts and very few events have inspired more conspiracy theories than 9/11. Candace Owens naturally handles this sensitive topic with the tact and grace of an army of drunken elephants and bends the truth in her usual fashion.

03:11, Candace Owens: "So what immediately followed the September 11th terrorist attack was, as I reflect upon it in retrospect now that I'm an adult, married mother 35 years old and my brain is developed. I recognized soviet tactics of brainwashing that took place thereafter."

Brainwashing is in play ladies and gentlemen!

Before we get started, the United States government did some absolutely grotesque things in the wake of 9/11. From the racial profiling of Muslim's to "enhanced interrogation tactics" (read: torturing prisoners) to the bogus war on terror, the United States' hands are absolutely not clean when it comes to their response to 9/11. However, they're definitely not guilty of attempting to indoctrinate elementary school aged Candace Owens using "Soviet Brainwashing tactics". That's an absolutely ridiculous claim that holds no water whatsoever.

Let's find out what "brainwashing tactics" were used on our young protagonist.

03:35, Candace Owens: "We were being told to stand for a moment of silence at 9:11 AM. So, picture little kids, ten, eleven, twelve, standing up for a moment of silence and then over the speakerphone they would tell us to think about and remember the people that had died."

That's not "Soviet Style Brainwashing", that's just observing a moment of silence to honor the victims of a horrific tragedy. 9/11 was a major world event and it wouldn't really make sense for schools not to acknowledge it. Especially since Candace's childhood school according to her was in Connecticut meaning that there's a good chance that someone going to that schools parents commuted to the World Trade Centre at some point and may have even died in the towers that day.

Plus, there was never some edict passed down from Congress stating that schools nationwide had to do a moment of silence at 9:11 AM like Candace's did. That was just the specific policy that Candace's school chose to put in place in response to what was a very real and scary event in these children's lives.

What would they even be trying to brainwash her into believing?! That 9/11 was in fact a bad thing that killed a lot of people? This really sounds like Candace didn't like doing a moment of silence as a kid and has clung onto that into adulthood for some reason.

So, young Candace has been brainwashed by the school doing the thing that every Canadian has done every Remembrance Day for years. Thankfully this story has a hero and that hero is Candace's Older Sisters Boyfriend.

03:57, Candace Owens: "A couple of years later I entered high school and my older sisters boyfriend made me watch a documentary, it was called Loose Change. I will never forget it, never ever forget it. I came out of watching that documentary which, I think if you looked it up today, it would say conspiracy theories about 9/11. But irrespective of how they want to categorize it, at the very least you came out of it recognizing that not everything was told to the public about that day."

You guys wanna hear about how bullshit Loose Change is? Well, too bad if you don't because I'm gonna tell you anyway!

Loose Change is a film that is allegedly supposed to resemble a documentary meant to "prove" that 9/11 was a false-flag carried out by the Bush Administration. It's been debunked about a thousand times and as a result the creators keep re-releasing it and editing out the more bogus claims. On a long enough timeline, Loose Change will just end up being the beginning and end credits presented back to back with no substance in the middle.

That's not to say that these edits have improved the intellectual honesty of the film. Among the most ridiculous claims in Loose Change is that United 93 did not crash in Pennsylvania. Instead, the filmmakers claim that it landed in Ohio yet fail to explain what happened to the passengers or why the government didn't just take the easy route and crash the plane.

All of these facts about the movie are readily accessible to everybody on the internet including Candace and if she's basing her perception of what happened on 9/11 on this movie than it's time for some introspection on whether or not that worldview has any merit.

04:31, Candace Owens: "I mean, some of the things we were even told make entirely no sense. For example, we were told that the terrorist attacks were executed by the Saudi's, remember? Which totally explains why we decided to go to war with Iraq who had weapons of mass destruction that were never found."

You're figuring it out Candace. If 9/11 was a false-flag carried out by the United States government, why would they blame Al-Qaeda instead of Iraq? This actually is a refutation of her worldview and she doesn't even realize it.

Also, hopefully my stance on this is clear but in case it isn't, fuck George W Bush.

05:34, Candace Owens: "You are telling me that somebody hijacked a plane, got onto the plane, crashed the plane, the plane exploded into fire, a tower collapse, they could not even find the human remains. But in all of this, in all of the fire, in the collapse of the building, in all the dust, in all the struggle, they found and they didn't give any details of how or who found it, a passport. The little paper passport survived everything and they go 'Oh, look this is one of the hijackers. This is one of the Saudi hijackers'. He must have dropped his passport from the sky before he flew the plane into the building and somehow they couldn't find the audio boxes -- the black boxes from the plane but they have the passport, here it is. Nope, not going for that."

The government did indeed recover some of the intact passports of the hijackers but small items surviving plane crashes isn't as uncommon as you might think it is. Just use basic level high school physics and you'll figure out pretty quickly how full of shit Candace is.

Passports are small light objects and in the event of a plane crash they end up getting sucked out of the cabin by the air pressure and then fluttering to the ground. Whereas the black boxes on the plane are heavy, have multiple parts, and would break into pieces in the event of a plane crash.

Also, only one of the passports was found on ground zero by a passerby. Two others were found in the wreckage of Flight 93 and one was found in luggage that missed a connecting flight. Unfortunately for Candace, that fact makes what she’s trying to push a little more difficult to believe so I guess we’re just going to ignore it.

06:38, Candace Owens: "Well, let me tell you something sweetheart. You don't have to believe that 9/11 was an inside job but you'd better tether yourself to the understanding that false flag events are a reality. Not imagination, not a conspiracy theory, it is a reality and you wanna know how we know that? Well, you can just look this up on Wikipedia if you don't believe me because a former sitting president who was subsequently assassinated in the back of a car next to his wife, JFK. He refused to sign off on a false-flag event, the CIA came to him. This is called Operation Northwoods, you should look this up if you think that I am making this up."

Ah, Operation Northwoods. Another classic Alex Jones/Above Top Secret narrative. Let's talk about it.

Operation Northwoods was indeed a proposed false-flag operation brought forward by the CIA in 1962 in order to provoke a war with Cuba. They were approved by the Joint Chiefs of Staff but were rejected by President John F Kennedy and his defense secretary Robert McNamara. Operation Northwoods also didn't talk about killing people - it did talk about staging a Cuban terror plot "up to wounding" and potentially sinking a simulated ship. The closest thing to actual violence suggested was the suggestion to sink a boatload of Cuban refugees on route to Florida and even there it says "real or simulated". People also don’t talk about the other more benign proposals in the Northwoods documents like simply spreading rumors about the Cubans. Not to say that this proposal was a good thing, it was a really shitty proposal and it would have led to a lot of deaths in a pointless war. Good thing that it was rejected and never carried out!

The fact that it was rejected shows a precedent for elected officials to reject false flags and it's also not proof that false flags carried out by the US government are a reality, quite the opposite as a matter of fact. Candace seems to realize that which is why she had to add in that bit where she implies that JFK was assassinated because he stood up to Operation Northwoods. Two problems with that theory:

1): If JFK was assassinated for saying no to Northwoods, why didn't the government carry it out when Lyndon B Johnson become president? The CIA's whole reason for killing JFK in Candaceland was that they wanted to do a false flag so when he was out of the picture you would think that the first thing they'd do would be carrying out that false flag and going to war with the Cuban's.

2): Robert McNamara also turned it down and he lived a long assassination free life until he died in 2009 at the ripe old age of 93 years old. Surely if the CIA had the capabilities to assassinate the president, they could also get rid of the defense secretary.

On a more basic level, this is all just stuff that was floating around on jackhole blogs and InfoWars in 2011. It's not new information and it's all been roundly addressed a gazillion times. Candaces "proof" is just old weak tea from the Alex Jones Show and it shows.

Candace plays some old news footage and then decides to get reeeaaal antisemitic.

11:31, Candace Owens: "Alright guys, nothing to see there. Obviously you'd be a conspiracy theorist if you had any questions about that - you'd actually be worse, you'd probably be antisemite if you had any questions about a foreign government overseas that had people attached to their intelligence apparatus who were celebrating and taking photos as the towers burned and American citizens were dying."

What Candace is talking about is the "dancing Israeli's" - another rather BS story that 9/11 truthers use when they want to blame 9/11 on the Israeli government.

This theory does have a tiny grain of truth to it. Five Israeli men were indeed arrested by the FBI due to a witness stating that she saw them dancing through the streets on the day of September 11th, essentially they were caught in a large-scale law enforcement dragnet that the authorities had put in place the day of the attacks. They were found to have box cutters on them which might seem suspicious....until you learn that all of these men worked at a moving company which is an environment where a lot of boxes tend to require being cut. The moniker of "dancing Israeli" actually originated from the father of one of the 9/11 hijackers. Real credible source right there.

I don't know where Candace got the idea that these guys had ties to intelligence because the FBI actually found the opposite. A field report published after the Israeli's were released found that none of them were engaged in intelligence activities in the United States.

Just to be clear, I hate Netanyahu and Israel is an apartheid state but basically saying "the jews did 9/11" which is a statement that invokes antisemitic blood libel narratives, yeah that's antisemitic. Especially coming from a person with a long and documented history of antisemitism like Candace Owens.

Conclusion:

Candace Owens has ran out of ideas and is an intellectual coward.

The reason that I say this is because she never really commits to a narrative - probably because committing to a narrative might get her banned on YouTube for antisemitism or spreading false information. So instead she's going "Well, I'm not saying that 9/11 was a false flag buuuutttttt look at Operation Northwoods. Huh?! Huh?! Get what I'm saying?". It's a sleazy and cowardly way to avoid owning your own ideas while still pushing the exact same message to your viewers.

Furthermore, everything she is saying here has been said a million times before and debunked a million times as well. I'm honestly shocked she didn't play the "Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams" card. This is old stuff and it's not even old stuff that has any credibility. It's just trying to squeeze clicks out of a tragedy using shit that Alex Jones was saying in 2004.

Cheers and I'll see you in the next one.

Original Video:

Candace Owens. “What REALLY Happened on 9/11? | Candace Ep 9.” YouTube, 20 June 2024.

Sources Cited:

Roose, Kevin. “How a Viral Video Bent Reality.” The New York Times, 8 Sept. 2021

“National Commission on Terrorist Attacks upon the United States.” Govinfo.library.unt.edu.

Operation Northwoods pdf

Kaplan, Josh. “Dancing Israelis 9/11 Conspiracy Theory: Why Do People Believe Mossad Did 9/11.” Www.thejc.com.

#right wing bullshit #conservative bullshit #journalism #fact checking #conservatives #bad takes #disinformation #politics #debunking #candace owens #debunking conspiracy theories

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sizzlyybacon · 6 months ago

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TEACHER PROFILE: mr. beach, the sad little tryhard

HE DID THE SLICKBACK DANCE FOR US...

HE ALSO SLICKED BACK HIS HAIR FOR HALLOWEEN AND SAID HE WAS A "BAD BOY" sir we are minors we do NOT wanna participate in your weird fantasies... we know u wanted to be the cool kid in high school but you weren't. and you aren't a high schooler anymore.

he said it was annoying his wife was from columbia because it meant they had to visit there twice a year to see her family... sir that's a PRIVILEGE. i wanna go to columbia?? 😭

i was sitting next to sydnee, yara, and euan, and our tables were in an L shape. euan asked for help and mr. beach came and bent over to talk to him. after mr. beach walked away, euan kept whisper shouting something at me. i couldn't really hear him so i kept saying "huh?" and then he pointed at mr. beach's crotch. "he's HARD!" after i heard that second word i wished that i hadn't put in all that effort to hear what euan had to say. "bro how do you know?" i ask. "when he bent over.. it was all in my face.. it was right there.. it was looking at me.." he replies, describing it as if he were a mother in dance moms, talking about her daughter's mistakes. of course we have to spread that around to everybody in the class, and the school.

i told him that he wasn't hip with the kids when he was walking around making goofy ass remarks at us. "oh really? what do i need to do to be hip with the kids?" he replied snarkily. i told him he needed to get that skibidi rizz and proceeded to rizz him up with the "are you a magician? because when i look at you i can't see anyone else," line.

he saw my old hydro flask and asked me if i was a #vscogirl, #skskskks and started doing weird half assed tiktok dances at me...

he BANNED smiling from our class. after tristan, abdullah, makai, all of those jock sports boys interrupted all of his lessons. he decided "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! IF YOU SMILE IN HERE YOU WILL BE SENT TO THE OFFICE AND GIVEN A CONDUCT VIOLATION," we all thought that this man couldn't be for real, so we pushed tristan to test our theory. tristan brightly smiled at mr. beach and mr. beach literally turned red and practically shoved him out the door 💀

on our interquartile range project me and vivienne asked him for an eraser and he gave us an 8 year old eraser that had completely dried out, turned purple, and was basically a rock. i gave it back to him and he just played with his neck skin and said "hmm.. try this one," and handed me a weird beige cube eraser with some weird inscriptions on it. that didn't work either. so he brought me to his desk and said "if my erasers aren't good enough for you then go get your own," and wrote me a pass to the office.. he acts like a little kid holding stupid grudges on his classmate named jeremy because he broke his pencil in half. i got two erasers from ms. dolan who side eyed me the entire time. i had been in there 2 times already to get stuff from her, the first time for yearbooks for our grade cover page contest, scissors for ms. goodell's weather unit, and now for erasers. i brought the erasers back up to use for our classroom. i carried me and vivienne's project by making a third model and writing everything in perfect handwriting 😎😎💪💪 we got 2 extra credit points!! then i helped valeria and evie. miracle and other asb members came around and vivienne kept getting distracted with gossip from the other girls about the hottest dating news. miracle came over and we did an elaborate secret handshake. she told me that they were picking out kids from different classes to film "i miss you!" videos for all the teachers that were leaving (ms. conner; principal, ms. klug; librarian, mr. van bebber; band, mr. beach; math, mr. hall; history, YIKES our budget sucks.) i went into one with ruqaia, who's just completely fake, and they put ours up for mr. van bebber, the terrible band teacher 😭

for some reason mr. beach always plays with his neck skins and furrows it pls stop bro

whenever you ask him for help on something he makes it more confusing/just explains it confusingly in the first place. he wanted me to tell him what the number above a denominator was called but he worded it "what is the relation of the number 5 which is not below the center dash in between the numbers to the 8 in a matter of their value?" i asked him what like 6 times until he freaked out and just said "oh my GOD. what is the title of this number!?"

when dante tried to choke me with his charging cord i told mr. beach and he said "well he didn't succeed in choking you so it doesn't matter" and walked away.

he screamed at tristan to shut up when he turned on a fortnite soundboard 💀

mr. beach's teacher profile states: "Hi! I moved from Lafayette, Indiana to Milwaukee, Wisconsin fresh out of high school to pursue a degree in fine art, but switched to math education soon after I realized fine art wasn't going to cut it for me long term. I like teaching at (my school) because the staff is extremely supportive and there's a consistent positive atmosphere in the building. I have never been able to get into running or "working out," but I love playing soccer on the weekends, and otherwise I spend my free time chilling with my wife and daughter."

he's just a sad rejected art student 💀

for the teachers vs. students basketball game he put on his full ultimate frisbee swag with the title "beach boy" on the back of his jersey 😭💀

#storytime #crazy #friends #weird kids #wtf moment #wtf #school #classmates #funny #middle school #angry teacher #boo teachers #male teacher #learning #student

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alignandrealign · 2 years ago

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Deep Breaths

Chapter 1

I'm sitting in my best friend's spare bed and my heart is racing. The room around me feels hotter then five minutes ago and I cannot muster the strength to get up and strip myself of my clothing to cool down. It's been three weeks since I walked out of my long term relationship, which means I don't really have a "home" anymore, I'm pretty much just drifting through the motions of my day to day life while stumbling through this unknown territory of being 32 years old and single again.

Being single isn't new to me but where I am now wasn't what I thought my life would look like at this age, especially when I had dreams of meeting my soul mate, travelling the world and making cute babies in a warm comfortable home together. Boy was I wrong.

I was synchronistically introduced to the Audiobook "Single on Purpose" by John Kim just the other day. I started playing it in my car on my way to work to help setup my morning in a positive mindset. Single on Purpose – making a choice to walk away from everything you know and everything that's comfortable, for the promise of growth, a better future, a more fulfilled life or maybe just peace. That's what it was for me, peace. I take another deep breath and kick the covers off my legs and allow my body to cool down. more deep breaths, I centre myself. The choice to jump was mine to make, the big leap of faith into the scary abyss that ended up not really being too scary at all. There's much scarier things than walking away from something that's not for you anymore, even if it's uncomfortable. Staying is definitely scarier. The decision to leave my relationship has lead me into three weeks of deep rest, growth and a chance to experience deep love and support like I have never experienced before, so I know now it was the right choice. Maybe it was meant to be or maybe I just refused to repeat the same patterns any longer. Either way I was out. I was free and I was writing again.

The last three years has been a total whirlwind of a ride. I met Steve just as the pandemic was kicking in for us. We live in Perth, Western Australia so it was pretty much 6 months after the rest of the world got hit. We didn't even think it was real at this point, just a lot of media swirling around about people getting sick and dying with equally as many conspiracy theories about it being fake, an overly dramatic cold or a declaration of biochemical warfare. I was in my own little world, living in a cosy duplex at the end of a cul de sac in Carine, a leafy suburb close to the beach about 20km north of the city. I had worked really hard to get to this place in my life – after several relationships had broken me down, this was now the manifestation of two years of being single and putting my self and my own dreams first. I wasn't about to compromise it all for just anyone.

Steve was someone I met online through a typically lousy dating app called Tinder – I know what you're thinking, what did I expect? You're right, there were so many reservations I had about even dating anyone at this point, but online was the way to do it and Tinder was familiar to me following two years of being single. I wasn't overly active online though, simply hoping on every now and then for a late night swipe in my bedroom before falling asleep. Sundays were also a good time; slow and quiet mornings meant people were laying in, relaxing and reminiscing on their ventures from the nights before – more reflective and open to talking about deeper things rather than what they do for work or how many bitcoins they own. It wasn't some strategy I had, I just felt softer on Sundays and was happy to indulge in lengthly conversation with strangers.

I had seen Steve's photo pop up and I was instantly struck by how mysterious he seemed. His profile consisted of four or five casual photos of him in various locations but none of them were very clear. They were pictures of him at a distance, standing in shadow or with sunglasses on. I could see his face, his stature and his style, but not his eyes. I'm big on eyes. They speak a truth no words or actions could and it's how I like to gauge the depth of a person. I didn't swipe left or right that morning. I read his words and looked through his photos, then read his words again, contemplating whether he was a good fit, even just for a conversation or exchange of energy. I was pretty protective of my energy at this point and didn't want to just give it away in exchange of a fleeting feeling of validation or attention. I reviewed his profile again then closed the app, packed my duffel bag and drove up to mums. We were heading into a lock down and Mum and I both lived alone so we decided to spend it together.

#relationships #acceptance #breakups #moving forward #healing #self awareness #growth #love

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