#i promised myself i would stop talking about it
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
I had no idea how my life was about to change when I asked that girl out on a simple date. Her name was Isabella. I had seen her around town, her dark hair cascading like a waterfall down her back, and her eyesāher eyes were a perfect shade of deep brown, mysterious yet warm, like a rich cup of coffee. She seemed different from the usual crowd, more reserved, but her smile could light up a room.
When she said yes to my invitation to dinner, I thought I was the luckiest guy in the world. We chose a quiet, cozy Italian restaurant on the edge of town, away from the hustle and bustle. It was the kind of place that felt like a hidden gem, with candlelight flickering on every table and a soft hum of Italian opera in the background. We talked for hours. She was charming, funny, and intelligent, and I was captivated by every word she said. She seemed so ordinary, in the best way possible, and I couldnāt stop myself from thinking that I might have just met someone truly special.
As the evening came to an end, I walked her to her car, a sleek black Audi. She thanked me for the night, her eyes sparkling, and I felt like the world was at my feet. I promised to call her again, to arrange another date soon, and she smiled, nodding in agreement.
But thatās when things took a strange turn.
The next morning, I was at work when I got a phone call from an unknown number. I almost didnāt pick up, but something told me to answer.
āIs this Brian Holden?ā a low, gravelly voice asked.
āYeah, who is this?ā
āMy name is Vito. Vito Romano. We need to talk.ā
I froze. The name hit me like a punch to the gut. Romano. That was the name of one of the most dangerous mafia families in the city. I had heard whispers about them. Stories of violence, power, and influence. And Vito Romano? He was the patriarchāthe boss.
āIā¦ I donāt understand,ā I stammered. āWhat do you want from me?ā
āI think you know,ā Vito said, his voice calm but chilling. āYou took my daughter out last night.ā
I felt my blood run cold. My stomach dropped. Isabella was his daughter? The girl I had taken on a date?
āI didnāt know,ā I said quickly, trying to explain myself. āI swear, I didnāt know. I thought she was just a normalāā
āI donāt care what you thought,ā Vito interrupted. āWhat matters now is how you handle this situation. My daughter was not just any girl, and you will treat her with respect, or there will be consequences. Do you understand?ā
āYesā¦ yes, I understand,ā I stammered.
There was a long silence on the other end of the line before Vito spoke again.
āIāll be at your place in an hour. Be ready to speak to me.ā
I hung up the phone, my heart racing. I couldnāt believe it. I had just accidentally asked the mafia bossās daughter on a date. What had I gotten myself into?
An hour later, a black SUV pulled up outside my apartment. My doorbell rang, and I opened it to find two imposing men in dark suits standing on my doorstep. One of them was holding a leather briefcase, the other had a scowl on his face. Behind them, I saw Vito himself, a tall man with salt-and-pepper hair and a presence that made everything around him feel small.
āBrian Holden?ā he asked, his voice calm but intimidating.
āY-yes,ā I replied.
āCome with me,ā he said, and without waiting for an answer, he turned and started walking toward the car. The two men followed, and I had no choice but to follow as well.
We drove for what felt like forever, the tension in the car suffocating. When we arrived at a large, gated mansion, I felt like I had entered another world. Vito led me inside, his presence commanding every inch of the grand house. We sat down in a lavishly decorated room, and Vito motioned for me to take a seat.
āI donāt know what you were thinking, taking my daughter out without knowing who she is,ā Vito said, his tone softening just slightly. āBut I can see that youāre not the type of man who would intentionally disrespect the Romano family.ā
I swallowed hard, still in disbelief.
āIā¦ I had no idea. I swear. I didnāt mean any harm.ā
Vito studied me for a long moment before nodding. āI believe you. Isabella speaks highly of you. And in this family, that counts for something.ā
I felt a weight lift from my shoulders.
āSo, what happens now?ā I asked cautiously.
Vito smiledāa rare, approving smile. āYouāll be a part of the family, Brian. You have my blessing. But remember this: we look out for our own, and youāll do the same. Understood?ā
I nodded, my mouth dry. āUnderstood.ā
And just like that, I found myself welcomed into the heart of the mafiaāa place I never imagined Iād be, all because of a simple date with a beautiful girl.
REVERSE TROPE WRITING PROMPTS
Too many beds
Accidentally kidnapping a mafia boss
Really nice guy who hates only you
Academic rivals except itās two teachers who compete to have the best class
Divorce of convenience
Too much communication
True hateās kiss (only kissing your enemy can break a curse)
Dating your enemyās sibling
Lovers to enemies
Hate at first sight
Love triangle where the two love interests get together instead
Fake amnesia
Soulmates who are fated to kill each other
Strangers to enemies
Instead of fake dating, everyone is convinced that you arenāt actually dating
Too hot to cuddle
Love interest CEO is a himbo/bimbo who runs their company into the ground
Nursing home au
117K notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Marvel: Unplanned Chapter Five
Parings: Bucky Barnes x Reader (First person written though)
Description:
"It says...it says it's positive doll" His voice matching mine in a quiet shaky whisper.
"Fuck... I'm pregnant?"
"Yeah doll, you're pregnant"
"Fuck" I whisper.
Rating: Explicit
Chapter Warnings: Swearing, smut
Chapter Words: 2,809
(I have the urge for every Marvel fanfic I write to have a seperate timeline where nothing bad happens, and everyone is happy)
When the little notification on my phone told me I was 14 weeks pregnant, I smiled softly to myself, I walked to the kitchen to make myself lunch, my hand gently resting on my tiny bump, it was barely there, but I could tell it was an actual bump, even if the others couldn't.Ā
Once in the kitchen I started making myself lunch, dancing to the music in my head as I cooked. Until I felt a nudge in my stomach, I stopped cooking my spoon dropping onto the kitchen counter.Ā
"Bucky!" I yelled, knowing his super soldier hearing would hear me, soon he was rushing into the room, his book in hand.Ā
"Doll, what's wrong?" He asks, his voice laced with worry.Ā
"Come feel!" I say, giggling as I reached for his hand. I took his hand in mine and placed it against my stomach.Ā
"Just wait" I say excitedly. We waited for a few moments until the little nudge happened again.
"Is...is that...did the baby just kick?" He asks, his eyes wide, he looked at me with a mix of surprise and awe.Ā
"You felt it?" I asked.Ā Bucky nods, a smile slowly spreading across his face. He looks from my stomach to my face.Ā
"Yeah doll! I felt it...It's really real now, isn't it? We're having a baby..." He says quietly. "Yeah it's real" I whisper, my hand stroking my lower stomach, just below where Bucky's hand was. He looks at me, his perfect blue eyes filled with a mixture of emotions, there's excitement, wonder but also a hint of nervousness.Ā
"It's growing in there, doll. Our baby" He whispers.Ā
"Yeah it is" I say, moving my hand up to rest on his as he still held my stomach. Bucky looks down to my little bump again, his fingers slowly tracing over me.Ā
"Still can't believe this is happening, we're gonna be parents doll"Ā
"Don't say that, it send fear through me" I chuckle lightly. Anxiety prickling up within me, the baby nudged again in my stomach, making my chest flutter. Bucky chuckles, his hand moving so he can pull me into a hug, he kissed the side of my head as he held me tight.Ā
"Yeah, I get it..It's a big responsibility, but we'll figure it out, together" He whispers in my ear. I take in a deep breath, a conversation we needed to have rested heavily on me, and I couldn't hold it in anymore.Ā
"Bucks, we need to talk" I mumble into his shoulder, he steps back and raises an eyebrow at me, a look of concern washing over his face.
"What's on your mind?"Ā
"We...haven't spoken about our relationship" I say, my voice shaking a little. His expression grows more serious, he takes a deep breath and runs a hand through his hair.Ā
"Right...our relationship...It's complicated, isn't doll?" He asks, a nervous chuckle leaving his lips.Ā
"I know before the pregnancy, we said we'd keep it casual...but, like is that something you still want?" I ask quietly. I watch as he looks at me, I wished I could read his mind.Ā
"Honestly doll" He starts, his hand running through his hair and down the back of his neck "I'm not sure, at first I didn't want anything serious, it was easier that way...But the more time we spend together..." He stops, his words trailing.Ā
"Yeah...same here. Maybe we shouldn't worry about you?" We've got enough to worry about" I say nervously. Bucky says nothing for a moment and watches me, his eyes softening. He nods slightly.Ā
"Yeah doll, you're right..Let's take things one step at a time" He says hesitantly "We've got the pregnancy to focus on, we don't need another complication to the mix"
"Yeah, exactly" I say unsure.Ā
"Promise me one thing doll?"
"What's that?"
"Promise me, we'll be honest with each other?" He asks, I smile softly.Ā
"Of course, Bucky...Can I ask you something?" I ask, he nods, looking at me with a mixture of curiosity and concern.Ā
"Can we still sleep together? Or will that complicate things more?" I ask, my eyes trailing down his muscles. His eyebrows raise slightly.Ā
"I..." He pauses "I don't think it would complicate things, it we're honest with one another about what is means"Ā
I smirk and lift my hand to hold his jaw, I stepped closer, pressing my body against his. I giggle softly as his breath hitches slightly, his eyes flicker from mine to my body, a mix of surprise and desire in his gaze.Ā
"Doll..." He murmurs, his voice low and a little hoarse.Ā
"Mmm yes Bucky?" I ask seductively as I run my nail across his jaw and down his neck, leaving a faint red line. He swallows hard as I trace down his neck, he shivers and let's out the smallest moan. His eyes darken with want.Ā
"Doll, you know what you're doing to me, don't you?" He asks quietly. I nodded eagerly smirking. Bucky's previous restraint snaps and with a swift, fluid motion, he wraps his arm around my waist, pulling my tighter against him, his lips capture mine in a hungry, intense kiss. I smiled against his lips, wrapping my arms around his neck.Ā
Bucky deepens the kiss, his tongue exploring my mouth as he presses his body against mine. His hands roam over my body, rubbing over my curves and softness, holding me firmly against him.Ā
"Mhmmm Bucky" I moan against his lips. I felt his lips turn up into a grin, his voice sending shivers down my body, He breaks the kiss, his lips moving down to my neck, kissing and biting the sensitive skin, his hands holding my hips.Ā
"You drive me crazy doll" He mutters between kisses, his voice low and rough with desire.Ā
"Let's go to my room" I smirk. Bucky nods, his eyes full of desire as he takes my hand in his, he starts pulling me towards my room. When we reached my doorway, he gently pushed me against the door, pinning my body, his eyes burning with want as he looks down at me.Ā
"You're mine" He whispers, his hands roaming over my body, pulling me closer.Ā
"I am?" I smirk, trying not to let it go to my heart. I watch as he grins, his cheeks flushing a light red as he lowered his face to the curve of my neck, where he nips and kisses along my skin. His hands move down my sides and then back up again, his touch rough and possessive.Ā
"Yes doll" He murmurs against my skin, his voice low and ragged "You're mine"
I giggle softly and open the door to my bedroom, I take his hand and pulled him into my room.Ā
"Thought we were keeping it casual?" I ask, a playful smirk on my lips.Ā
"Plans change, you're too damn irresistible" He murmurs, stepping close to me, his body pressing against mine, he reaches up putting both of his hands on my hips.Ā
"Aw, you're cute" I smirk, pulling him with me as I walked backwards to my bed "We'll talk about that later"
"I'm not the cute one, doll" He whispers, I move to lie on the bed and he crawls on top of me, his eyes looking over my body, appreciating every inch of me. I press my lips to his as I start lifting his shirt, feeling his body as I move my hands. I hear his breath hitch, his hips moved down to grind against me.Ā
Once his shirt was off, I moved forward to kiss his neck, my tongue licked at his skin as my hands rubbed over his shoulders.Ā
"Doll" He whispers, his voice a little gruff "Keep doing that, and I won't be able to hold back for much longer"Ā
"Please don't hold back"
I watch as he grins at my words, his eyes dark with desire. He captures my lips in a passionate kiss, his tongue exploring my mouth as he presses his body impossibly closer to mine. His hands roamed over my body, mapping every curve and contour of my body as he lets out a low growl against my lips.Ā
"You're impossible to resist doll" He murmurs between kisses "And right now, I don't want to resist you."
"Hmm good" I say, licking his lips. His eyes don't break away from mine as his metal fingers move to my shirt, undoing the buttons one by one, his fingers nimble and impatient. His lips move down to my neck, leaving a trail of kisses and little bites as he finally gets my shirt off. My arms fly down to my stomach, covering my small bump feeling a little insecure. He stops kissing my neck and looks down to my stomach.Ā
I watch as he frowns and moves his flesh hand to my stomach moving my arms, his fingers trailed lightly over my bump, he looks at me, his expression serious and sincere.Ā
"Don't do that doll" He says softly "You're beautiful...And this..." He says, his hand gently stroking my bump "Is our baby, it's not something to hide"
"I'm sorry, I'm still getting use to it" I say quietly. He smiles at me, his eyes locking onto mine.Ā
"You don't need to apologise doll, it must be a lot to adjust to, but please don't feel like you have to hide it from me, I think you're beautiful" He whispers, he then leans down, moving his body to brush his lips against my stomach in a tender kiss. I smile fondly at him, feeling my heart beat faster than it had been.Ā
Bucky kisses a trail along my stomach, up my chest, he unclasps my bra and throws it across the room, his tongue darts out to play with my nipple.Ā
"I want...I want you so bad, doll" He whispers against my skin.Ā
"I want you, take me please?" I beg, my voice sounding pathetic.Ā
"Do you know have any idea how hot it is, when you beg like that?" He purrs, his eyes darkened with desire, his voice low and gravely. As he spoke he moved his body up, his lips leveled with mine now.Ā
"You like that baby? You like hearing how bad I want you? I need you Bucky, please?" I beg, looking up at him through my eyelashes. He lets out a low growl, I could tell he was starting to loose control, his eyes burned with a fierce, primal need as he looked at me.Ā
"You drive me crazy doll, begging me like that"Ā
I moved forward kissing him again, he kissed me back with a ferocious intensity, his tongue delving into my mouth, tasting me as I tasted him. His hands moved down the sides of my body, caressing me, I ran my nails gently over his back, hoping to leave marks in his perfect skin. I moved my lips from his, kissing along his stubbly jaw and down his neck, I sucked marks into his sink, each time he moaned I thrusted my hips up into his.Ā
We both take a second to wiggle out of our trousers and underwear, finally naked, I kiss his shoulder as his fingers move to touch my wet pussy, his metal fingers slide down my folds spreading me, as I moaned filthily, gently biting into the skin of his shoulder.Ā
"Fuck" I whisper as he pushes two metal fingers into me. He had been reluctant to touch my pussy with his metal fingers when we first started sleeping together, but when he realised I got wetter at the use of his metal appendages, he used them more and more. I moaned loudly and spread my legs further, his fingers moving inside of me faster, the stretch hurt a little, but I liked that.Ā
"God, you're so beautiful" He whispers.Ā
"Fuck..Thank you"Ā
"You don't need to thank you doll" He mutters, his fingers moving faster "It's just the truth...You're perfect, beautiful..... and mine"Ā
"Yes! Fuck, I'm yours" I squeal as I come around his fingers, my tight hole tightening around his fingers.Ā
"That's right doll, you're all mine" He growls, his fingers fucking me through my orgasm "All mine"Ā
"Fuck, Bucky..Take me, I need you" I begged, my legs shaking slightly. I hear him let out a low, guttural moan as I beg, his body tenses. He moves his metal hand to grip his cock, his fingers not even meeting around it, he moved slightly, the head of his cock rubbing up and down my pussy, covering himself in my wetness before he plunges forward pushing his huge cock inside of me slowly, so slowly that I felt the veins of his cock against the walls of my pussy.Ā
Once he was fully inside of me, he rested his forehead against mine, both of us breathing heavily, we hadn't slept together since before we found out about the pregnancy, and in this moment, I could feel how badly he needed this, he needed it as much as I did. He moved his metal hand to hold onto my hip as he slowly started to fuck me. His flesh hand came to hold my jaw, his thumb moving against my cheek, our eyes met, not moving away. Our bodies moved perfectly together, the act felt too intimate this time, but neither of us stopped as he moved with one another.Ā
His hips moved faster, and his metal hand moved down, two of his fingers snaking down to circle my clit. I moaned loudly, and wrapped my legs around his waist, his cock moved deeper within me as he moved his hips away and slammed back into me, I squealed loudly in his ear as I felt my body shake against his, I came hard, my legs tightening around his hips as the feeling washed over my body.Ā
"That's my girl" He groaned, his hips fucking harder into me, his groans became louder and his hips faster as he came hard inside of me, spilling into me.Ā
"Fuck" I mumbled as his hips stopped, his cock was still inside of me, softening slightly.Ā
"Damn doll" He groaned slowly taking his cock out of me "You drive me crazy...That was amazing"
"It really was" I whisper as I watch him collapse beside me, his breathing ragged and labored. He drapes an arm over me, pulling me against his, his face nuzzling into my neck.Ā
"Bucky..."I say very unsure about what I was about to say, I didn't look at him, only looking up at the ceiling. "Maybe, we could try... you know... being together?"
Bucky sits up, his eyes widening as he looks at me. "You mean...being together, as in a couple?"
"Yeah?" I say, unsure. I felt my heart thudding against my chest, scared as he stares at me for a moment not saying anything. And then a slow, genuine smile spreads across his face.Ā
"Doll...really?" He asks, his eyes wide and hopeful "You want to be...an official couple? With me?"
"Well I mean, we're already having a baby together, why not?" I say, smiling. I watch as he reaches his flesh hand out to cup my cheek, his eyes sincere and serious.Ā
"Doll, you have no idea how happy you've just made me"
"No, tell me?"
"I didn't realise before, or maybe I did, but being with you, starting a family with you, it just feels right, I know we didn't plan it, but doll, you make me so happy"
My eyes soften at his words, I felt my cheeks flush and my heart swell.Ā
"Oh wow Bucky, funny how we hated each other a few months ago" I say chuckling. Bucky copies my chuckle, his eyes sparkling with amusement.Ā
"Yeah, who would of know?"
"Yeah...I'm glad we slept together that first time"Ā
"Me too doll, me too"
"We're gonna be a family Buck" I say quietly, moving my hand to rest over my little bump. "So tell me, do you want a boy or a girl?"Ā
I watch as Bucky ponders the question, his hand moving up to gently stroke my hair, a small smile crept onto his lips.Ā
"Honestly doll, I don't care, as long as it's healthy, and happy, that's all that matters" He explains.Ā
"Yeah definitely" I agree "But I think I want a girl"
Bucky grins, his eyes lighting up at your words.Ā
"A girl huh? I bet she'll be just as beautiful as you"
"Oh please, I'm not that beautiful" I say rolling my eyes. I watch as his eyebrows furrow at my words, his expression serious as he looks at me.Ā
"Doll, you're one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen"
"Shut up" I laugh.Ā
"No you" He grins, before moving over to press his lips to mine. He pulls me closer, and holds me as we lay there together.Ā
(I do not consent my works to be posted anywhere else, by anyone other than myself)
Taglist:
@quinquinquincy @jaybbygrl @wintrsoldrluvr @sebastians-love @learisa @hi172826 @ravennablue @purplecolordeer @a-small-blue-nebula @buckitostan
#fluff#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes smut#bucky x reader#bucky barnes series#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes x reader#marvel smut#marvel x reader
43 notes
Ā·
View notes
Note
I followed your blog from a search on chastity keyholders. I have not read everything (you answer a lot of questions!) but it looks like you keep your husband permanently chastitzed for years? has he ever asked to be unlocked? did you ever unlock him if he asked? and what would you do if he told you that he didn't want to be locked in chastity anymore? would you just unlock him?
I do get this question a lot... I think that a lot of men have a hard time understanding that for my husband and I, in our relationship him being locked stopped being a game a long time ago. That does not mean it's not still fun... it's amazing for the both of us! But him being locked up for me is part of a commitment that he has made, and that commitment is now very important to our relationship... in fact, it's now an essential part of our relationship in such a way that I do not think that it would be the same without it.
Many years ago after we had been playing with keeping him locked up I came to the realization that having the control over his sexuality was exciting to me. But it wasn't just exciting, it gave me confidence about myself and about our relationship. I told him that I wanted 100% control over that part of him. He agreed, knowing that I could keep him locked up for any length of time, from weeks to months, or even longer. He committed to that and has never once asked to go back on that. And even during times when he was not locked, I do not think that he broke that promise to me. That level of commitment and the strength he needs to continue is very sexy, but also very inspiring to me. How many men would voluntarily give up their orgasms because their wives asked them?
So... when men used to ask me this question I used to feel uneasy thinking about it. My husband is almost always attentive and affectionate with me, and he treats me like a queen. He is never too busy to give me some affection, or even to make me a cup of tea while I'm watching tv at night. I love how he has to keep his passion restrained (like he has a choice! š). I love how he will snuggle with me in bed every night so I can go to sleep, and how he wakes up in the morning to hold me, and I can feel his hot cage pressing against my ass. I never, ever wanted to think about that not happening. I used to think that if he did ask, I would do my best to talk him out of it. And in fact, I have honestly told him that if he could not wear his cage anymore I would probably still deny him intercourse because I can see how much positive it has brought to our relationship.
But now that we are coming up onto 7 whole years of this, I am more confident that my husband never would ask to end this. Not only does he know how happy this makes me, he also enjoys his role as my devoted knight. He has grown to love the feeling of arousal that he has for me every day. He literally thanks me for keeping him locked because of how it allows him to focus on me and my pleasure. And the longer this goes on... the longer he stays locked for me... the more sure I am that he would never want to go back to how things used to be.
35 notes
Ā·
View notes
Note
im a very introverted person who takes a long while to get close n comfortable with people, but when im really close i turn into the weirdest, and most spontaneous person ever. i generally have a hard time trusting others due to issues from the past, and don't easily forgive ppl if they did me wrong. i tend to not take care of myself properly, and forget to eat properly. my love languages are quality time and physical touch.
āim an aries, my ideal type is someone who can match my energy and shares the same interest, opinions and values on important things. someone who's kind and respectful to everyone but not touchy with people except close friends.
āi love love childhood friends to lovers and trouples similar to that! im on the aromantic spectrum (demiromantic) so i need to know/been friends with the person before feelings develop. i love winter, and my fav hobbies are: reading, playing games, painting and dancing!
āenha or dream <3 and a playlist for me! (thank you in advance pooks, hope your day is well š)
FINDING YOUR MATCH...
MATCH FOUND! your first match is... MARK LEE
MARK'S first impression of you was that you were the shy and quiet type, but that quickly changed after knowing you for a few months. your slow transition of shy, and introverted to loud, and spontaneous was quite the surprise if you asked him. he found it quite cute how you showed your true personality as you got to know each other more though!
MARK noticed that you seemed to hide things when you first met, but when you guys finally got together and told him how you had a hard time trusting people because of your past he's understanding about it! he makes it known that whatever you tell him will be kept between you two only.
MARK worries how you don't take yourself well, he will make you promise to him that you'll start eating better, and start treating yourself better in general. makes sure he takes the time to message you on his free time, and breaks to check up on you even in his hectic schedules!
MARK will always make sure he has time for you even with all the comebacks, and promotions on his way. when you guys are out on dates, he always has his hands holding your hands. but oftentimes, you guys will be just at home laying in bed cuddling, and basking in each other's presence while watching a show or movie.
MARK loves to go out on walks with you during winter, and drink hot chocolate together <3 cuddling in your bedroom while you rewatch classic christmas movies.
MARK loves watching you when you're painting, your focused expression being so cute to his eyes. he would love to hear you talk about your favorite books, and maybe he'll give it a read too when he's interested in the story(totally not to talk about it with you) will teach you the steps of some of their songs when you ask him too. will be so so patient when you struggle with a certain step, and would break the steps down in an easier way for you to get it <3
MATCH FOUND! your second match is... PARK JONGSEONG
JAY is such a gentleman, always always has you as one of his top priorities. when he's back home, not busy with tours, promotions, and back to back comebacks he's at your apartment cooking for the both of you. SPOILS you to heaven and back (get it? chase atlantic heaven and back? sorry i'll stop-), sometimes you worry how much money he spends on you... books you've been wanting to read, painting materials you ran out of and the list goes onnnnn.
JAY asks you to teach him how to paint! he loves watching you paint, but he loves it even more if he can join you <3 he wouldn't be as good as you, but he'd do his best to try and paint you! you always praise him for trying his best, and he LOVES it. enjoys going out on picnic dates where you can both paint!
JAY would teach you how to play the guitar if you showed interest in learning it! is a good teacher. probably gets distracted when you're focused on playing the guitar with your eyebrows furrowing, and your adorable focused look. he'll randomly kiss your cheek sometimes which breaks your focus, and turn you into a huge blushing mess once you realize what he did.
your custom playlist made by yours truly <3
ā® lev notes : first matchup for my moot honeychocos <3 hope you love this oomf, had a fun time thinking of your match hehe. i will note that i will write at least 2 matches in reqs with two or more groups but the 2nd matchup will have less content than the first one. ā® want to find your own match? apply here! curious about other matches?
#ā ā®āĖ levandright 200 follower matchup Ū¶ą§#Ū¶ą§ LEV PLAYS MATCHMAKER š#āā .ā¦ matchup record ; entry 001#nct dream x reader#nct dream headcanons#mark lee x reader#mark x reader#mark headcanons#mark fluff#nct dream mark#nct dream imagines#nct dream fluff#matchup event#enhypen x reader#enhypen jay#enha x reader#enha fluff#enha headcanons#enhypen headcanons#jay x reader#jay headcanons#jay fluff#enhypen imagines
25 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Time to talk about Martin as a Buried avatar because I am aware this seems like an odd choice in my au but I have my reasons.
So, to get a little personal for a moment (this is relevant I promise), I have often felt trapped by my own mental illnesses, my differences to others, and my need for people to like me. For a long time I forced myself to do whatever I could to help others because in my mind if I didnāt then they would have no reason to like me and people had to like me because it was better that I was burning myself out than being alone again. I think you can see the similarities between my own experiences and Martin.
The Buried I think is often overlooked, and I feel like a lot could have been done with being trapped by your own anxiety, where youāre buried underneath the worries of everyone else and canāt escape the hell of your own creation because youāre so afraid to be a bad person.
While Martin very much fits the Lonely and the Web, I feel season 1/2 Martin had such a potential to become aligned with the Buried instead. Rather than isolating himself, Martin becomes more and more desperate to help everyone around him because if he helps them, then heās useful, but this also leaves him unable to do anything else. Heās so caught up in keeping everyone else happy (or at least as close to it as he can get them) that he struggles to do anything else. His anxiety around how others view him traps him, and the powers around him want him stuck.
Now the Shifted Gaze Martin is in a slightly different situation to canon Martin by the time the story starts as heās actually friends with Jon. Jon is already well on his way to becoming a Web avatar, so heās a pretty different person to what he is in canon. Heās still really not the best at socialising, but itās more in a he says the bare minimum of words he needs to rather than heās being a dick kind of way. To put a long story short, Martin sees this man who is completely alone, and makes it his mission to ensure Jon isnāt as alone as he is.
The thing is in doing so, he accidentally becomes the one thing keeping Jonās humanity alive, and that makes Martin the perfect target for the Buried. Martin begins by being trapped trying to help Jon, then that extends to Sasha and Tim when he joins the archival team, and he does not have the time or energy to take care of himself. Martin and Jonās dynamic in this au is really not the healthiest lol. Iād say it gets better but that would be a lie. Martin so strongly ties himself to the people he cares for he stops caring about what happens to himself, and when certain events happen, well letās just say the Buried gets a new avatar.
Martin is still aligned with the Lonely in some ways in this au, but the Buried is what claims him.
Btw sorry if any of this is rambly or doesnāt make sense, I am writing this while sleep deprived lol. I feel like this will really start to make sense as I write him in the actual story rather than me explaining it this way since I have to leave out some major things due to spoiler reasons. If you have questions please feel free to ask them I would love to answer.
23 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
so awesome seeing someone not completely misunderstand girl dinner
#i promised myself i would stop talking about it#but i had to say something#its literally garbage on a plate pls stop
0 notes
Text
some men are textbook villains fr
#tw religion?#kinda need to rant.. kinda wanna explain what's going on#some ppl are part of humanity but don't know how to be humane... like the guy i started talking to almost 2 weeks ago#liked him a lot bc he was funny sickeningly sweet mature and understanding.. until he was not#tl dr version is that we somehow drifted to the topic religion and i told him im not too religious and don't believe in superstition much#i was extremely respectful and even when he said that he does believe a lot i was like 'thats cool!! different people believe in different#things!!' and at first it was a normal convo until man went all psycho on me (after one damn week!!!) and started talking about how#id have to be religious in a relationship with him.. my dude i barely know your fav food can we not talk about relationships yet#but he says he doesn't even need a woman who cooks/cleans just someone who believes.. n im like i get it but i can't change myself like that#and then guy moves to marriage and is all 'well my entire family is religious' n my mom and sister (who's 16) would be putting pressure on#you n force you to pray etc.. and I'm like???? who can force anyone to a thing like that are u kidding#things escalate and my absolute STUPID ass tells him about my deepest fkn trauma to explain what made me abandon religion bc#life just never got better and this trauma remained for yrs... and he gets so angry that he says he wants to stop talking to me just to spam#me all day next day.. he'd keep messaging me switching between 'i still want you we shouldn't throw this away i have feelings for you'#AFTER A WEEEEEEKKKK!!! and then goes back to 'i wasted my time with you you were so unnecessary im in a bad mood bc of you'#even said 'you'll never find a guy with a trauma and mindset like this. i will find a religious girl but no one will love you like that'#and the worst thing is that he told his friends and mom about the trauma i had just to spite me.. note that he promised to never tell anyone#(and then still asked for forgiveness and for me to rethink whether we want to end this after telling me 473626x he wanted to end it)#(nothing even ever started you bitchass)#also note that his mom knows my mom n basically most of my relatives.. so i was here trembling for days fearing they'd get to know about it#mom somehow convinced her to not tell anyone bc it's important to me and very very fucking personal..#but he harassed me all day - i wouldn't answer and he'd send 55 messages.. multiple missed calls like dude i got so fkn scared#my heart jumped whenever he texted he was so fkn aggressive and SO MEAN#'you just needed to adjust and we would've been okay' 'tell me are u gonna fkn be religious or not????' 'you ruined everything' kinda mean#i just :') it was the worst time and i don't think i've ever seen someone degrade me so much or make me feel this defective#but.. it's finally over. his mom called my mom and mine was like pls teach him some manners.. n since i couldn't and wouldn't text him back#and literally avoided whatsapp bc of him she ended it all for me and now it's hopefully done forever#anyway i saw jks gcf performance yday n him singing still with you put a genuine smile on my face.. ill stick to THAT boyfriend honestly lol#def gonna delete later#but ty for reading if u did <3
69 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
I haven't seen this take a WHOLE lot, but I have seen it enough to get. Frustrated. About it.
So for anyone who doesn't get it: no, symptoms of mental illness are not, in every case, majorly or solely the result of Dealing With Capitalism. Sometimes, they can be! Sometimes the symptoms are situational, and those situations are heavily related to how much capitalism sucks! But many times they are not. I am sorry, but mental illness and trauma and neurodivergence are still going to exist even if capitalism completely goes away. We still have a responsibility to treat the people affected by and experiencing these things with compassion and understanding. We still have to. You know. Acknowledge that their life experience is going to be a lot different than many other's is.
#I promise that when my ocd onset happened at 10 years old I was not thinking about capitalism#germs are still going to exist post-capitalism. the concept of a good person vs a bad person is still going to exist post-capitalism#which means. if those are your OCD Themesā¢. then. you're still going to have OCD post-capitalism.#and this is true for. you know. EVERY INSTANCE OF THIS.#you take things that are rooted in trauma like did or ptsd. I hate to tell you this but mistreatment and the trauma that results from it#are still going to exist in a post-capitalist world. bad people who do bad things WILL ALWAYS EXIST. so those illnesses are likewise still#going to exist. plenty of anxiety-based symptoms are related to fears that. have nothing to do with capitalism or financial security.#they are DISPROPORTIONATE REACTIONS. THAT IS THE POINT.#if someone has anxiety that isn't completely situational. or if someone has paranoia. that disproportionate fear does not have to#have capitalism to exist. meaning. you know. those will ALSO still exist.#adhd and autism have nothing to fucking do with capitalism lmao.#the existence of. for example. schizophrenia and psychosis HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH CAPITALISM????????#like. we can talk about how much easier it would be for people to get care/accommodations under a non-capitalist system. we can talk about#how divorcing personal worth from the concept of 'productivity' would help the people who experience the things I've mentioned.#I'm not disputing that. but I've seen...a not-insignificant number of people downplay or outright DENY the existence of these#illnesses/experiences outside of 'languishing under the pressure of capitalism/tying your worth to productivity/worrying about financial#security' and that is simply not how it works my friends!#tw: suicidal ideation#like. sorry. I did not seriously consider killing myself at age 10 to escape The Disorderā¢ for you to tell me that all my issues with this#illness would go away forever if capitalism stopped existing LOL!! LMAO EVEN!!!!!#In the Vents#the real horror was the ableism we found along the way
9 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
whole new world of gig bags has opened up since i got mine in uhhhh approx 2007. theyāre like cool and sleek and fashionable now. maybe that was always an option and i just got an ugly one. maybe when i get my trumpet cleaned iāll get a new gig bag
#thereās some cool ones. little handsome backpack jobbies#what i SHOULD do is find out where the fuck my yamaha is (at my parents house) and get that cleaned too#thatās really the one i should have if im gonna be doing school of honk or whatever like i would in my dreamsā¦ā¦..#(if iām going to be outside)#iām just posting to myself nobody knows what iām talking about. whatever#chatpost#iām going to bed immanently iāll stop posting soon i promise
10 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
still canāt believe nico having catholic guilt is canon. like. i mean yeah but did u really have to confirm it let the boy rest
#nico di angelo#pjo#hoo#toa#it was supposed to be like a hc yknow#even if it is historically accurate for an italian in the 1940s#honestly wish that was explored more in canon#i know ts*ts would have been miles better because of it#okay i promised myself i wouldnāt bitch about ts*ts in the tags iāll stop now#but damn rick really canāt give this guy a break#iām not necessarily a nico stan but i do find it fascinating how most people just absolutely wreck his character in fandom#heās such an interesting and complex individual in the books (even if it is inconsistent which adds to it imo)#top 3 nico moments imo are the battle of manhattan how he acted in son of neptune and number one ofc vaporizing bryce lawrence#all of them are v interesting#why do i always end up talking like 4x more in the tags than i do in the actual post#š¤·š½āāļø#š.txt
40 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
idk i think my bf might be developing a drinking problem and i just donāt know what to doā¦..
#itās been going on for a couple of months now but he promised he would stop and he had been doing well until todayā¦.#and itās like. on one hand i never wanted to be w an alcoholic and i told him straight so he promised it would stop#but on the other hand i canāt just abandon him#and itās like we used to go out a lot and party but like. that was it but ever since he met this guy he just gets lost when he drinks w him#and the thing was he got like aggressive like he didnāt do anything to me and i canāt really explain it but he just wasnāt himself#and like. we talked about it a million times and itās not like it happens every week#itās been like 5 times since december#but 3 have been on the past month alone#and two weeks ago it got bad like he almost got into an accident#and like iām not even physically w him anymore like we really only see each other once a week since i moved#and from the very first time it happened i told him i couldnāt be w him if it kept happening#and after that incident two weeks ago he swore it was the last time but it just happened again#by the way he and that guy get wasted it really is a miracle they get home alive#and like. idk what to do#i really donāt want to be w someone like this#and i hate feeling like this like if i were to think only about myself i donāt want this i hate feeling like this#but i also canāt abandon him#like not even bc i would miss him or whatever i just wouldnāt feel good leaving him alone#but like i donāt want to live like this#maybe iāll ask for some time to just figure things out#but itās gonna suck so bad bc we were supposed to see kendrick lamar next week and then we already had plans for his bday and omfg#i donāt wanna leave but i donāt want things to be like this either#and i asked him to stop and gave him multiple chances but idk#i just donāt know what to do#i love him endlessly but i need to put myself first but i canāt abandon him:(#and our 1.5 anniversary was also next weekā¦..#but i think time is the sanest and safest thing right now
8 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Enjoying my job immensely! I work at the joanns fabric near me, which turns out to be part of a main packaging/shipping hub, and it's huge!!!! I've been ringing up art supplies and cutting fabric all in the past few weeks!!!! It's really helping me be in a creative mood like all the time. I made an art account (nothing posted) and I think the hardest part for me is just "starting" again and I get wrapped up in making the first post "special" in some way when it shouldn't have to be. Sorry for taking so long to figure things out and for shutting ppl out, I'm changing for the better, and I'm making an effort to communicate more, I promise!
#also im re-obsessed with trolls again AAAAAA that new movie was crazy and ive watched it like 20 times this year i cant get enough!!!#bingewatching the cartoon series w my sister and the vibes are LITERALLY all hail king ju/lien -esque its great!!!#/// also on a serious note i had an important discussion with my therapist last week and i promised her and myself#that i would genuinely stop putting everything off#a couple yrs ago when the (uknowwho) stuff was going on i srsly thought about deactivating and starting new and not telling anyone and im#glad i didnt do it. and i still feel shitty that i thought about doing that. im glad i kept following ppl that i care about even if#we dont talk anymoreš«š«š«#im getting help and im getting better!!#talkshow
2 notes
Ā·
View notes
Note
3, 7 and 14 for the asks!! š
š I should have asked you more myself!! But I saw handwriting and went āI MUST have her write some of her FIC-ā
3. 3 films you could watch for the rest of your life and not get bored of?
So š¤ this is kinda tricky cause we hardly rewatch films in my house cause š my mom and dad only like watching things once usually. But but but I DO share in common with my mom that I love rewatching:
Encanto
Tangled
Turning Red
Iāve certainly annoying my sisters recently with Turning Red š¤£ itās really good background noise and fu bro watch. Encanto cause itās good!!! But also Iām latina and also feel not special like Mirabel š my sister first time we watched the movie said Luisa reminded her of me tho thanks for clocking the older sister energy I guess. And tangled because Rapunzel my favorite Disney princess ever š„ŗ
7. what scares you the most and why?
Oof hereās where we get āØdepressingāØ
First do we mean spine tingling or deep rooted fear that stabs at your heart till it aches and pours out? Cause I could easily say something concrete like cockroaches (they make me cry and shake so quick) but if weāre talking in ouchie heart ache type of scares itās becoming unwanted and an inconvenience š Iāve felt like that a few times in my life and heck Iāve been feeling it especially hard lately. Just gotta take a deep sigh and keep going cause Iām gonna like me enough to want me to stay! Ya know! Also Iām scared of being in absolute darkness and Iām scared to be out at night :)
14. whatās something youāve always wanted to do but maybe been to scared to do?
š kinda related back to the other question Owie, this one seems kind of ridiculous but itās the simplest and most heart breaking for me. All of my wants have this same thing in common but this one is the most recent so ridiculous or not here you are.
Going for a walk.
Iām, frankly, scared of the unwanted attention that comes with being a fat person in public š I mean realistically I know no oneās actually looking at me but I canāt help but feel they are. In PE I was always last to finish and the kids who were done early would cheer me on and they meant well but it always made me cry. For a bit I got a little braver about walking on the treadmill at the university but Iām out now and we donāt have one at home. Iāve been wanting to go walking to better myself because š„ŗ I could be better but Iām really scared of going to the park. Itās on the other side of town, itās bigger with more shade, but itās next to our high school and thereās a bunch of houses and thereās no good time for me to talk out of my day to do this and Iād go for a walk but we donāt have sidewalks where I live and I donāt want to walk in the road and block someone from their driveway. Itās all excuses I guess but all in all Iām afraid of existing in other peopleās spaces.
But but to end on something positive!!! š¤ um Iām really proud of the way Iāve conquered my fear of driving. Iām still afraid of that and going long distances to places I donāt know but now I feel that I just gotta go it and Iāll get used to it. It helps that my car is cute and I have stuffed animals š I actually donāt hate driving as much anymore I like going around town with the windows down letting the air mess up my hair.
ā„ļøQuestionsā„ļø (yall should go ask Libby too š©·)
#š help I made myself cry#sorry for the āØtraumaāØ#Im trying to keep my face straight over here cause my mom sister and dad are in the room and I refuse to share this with them#i stopped sharing with my mom a long time ago tbh š but thatās a whole other āØdumpāØ#on the upside!!! Iām also proud of how honest I can be !!#itās hard to talk about the deeper stuff sometimes cause who wants to hear that??? voluntary probably not too detailed but if you ask Iām#an open book#tbh Iām always an open book you just have to sift through my pages a bit#š anyways i love you and we *both* can make it though whatever is stabbing our hearts#we got this my love š¤#muah muah muah ā„ļøš©·#mys mail š#to everyone else Iām so SORRY you can ignore this#but also š« you can make it though your problems too I believe in you#edit: the PAIN I felt in my chest when I thought this didnāt save oh my gosh I thought I was gonna have to type that all over again#i would have rather š« myself#šš okay Iām good I promise GASP
3 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
-
#hello everyone how are you?#I hope everything is doing alright! from my part I can say life is treating me well lately#and I feel very light and okay#I am here mainly to get things straight#I saw an anon going around some other blogs talking about me#saying I am an hater and I shouldnāt be writing larry fics#I think this is the same anon that I blocked some weeks ago#because they told me I should not use Harry for clout (????)#and I want to say only one thing because I donāt care of defending myself on this website anymore and that is#itās not clout and itās not easy#being a (new) writer here is not easy because people donāt care what you do and there is definitely not clout around me#im not using harry to gain anything#if anything I am constantly questioning whether I am somehow good at writing silly stories and putting myself out there for peopleās judg#*judgement. and I promise you itās not always nice#especially when this place doesnāt like people who you donāt always agree with#especially when you are blocked by half of this side of fandom (larries because I had said something in the past that they didnāt like)#louies because im a larrie ergo I hate louis (???) and harries because i dont care about Harry as much as they do#so no I am not ashamed of writing and I am not ashamed of writing giving my characters#(that rarely have anything to do with H/L irl) thei#their names and physical features#and honestly people like you anon should definitely stop to play this stupid game of fandom police#deciding who can read what and who can write what#because this actions only affect new writers in the way that#they will be alienated. they will feel alienated#and this whatever this fandom is shouldnāt be about that#ever. you donāt know what people go through every fucking day#you definetely dont know how this sort of silencing mission you have going on#will affect people on the internet and their mental health#stop defending the imaginary people you think H/L are and start treating people in this fandom as actual human beings#and since you probably would like to know this: I am not currently working on any project because i am fucking scared of reaction like this
2 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Tbh ppl here are so weird about tiktok users
#like yes tiktok bad and its kind of funny when ppl say things to get around an algorithm that doesnāt exist on here#but ppl being like āif youve ever said unalive I never want to talk to youā need to get some perspective#likeā¦ they were on a platform where they had to say that shit sometimes to talk about things#they were the ppl being censored and thats how they got around it#(it wasnt just used for āim gonna unalive myselfā jokes ya know? its also used to talk about police killing ppl which tiktok often censors)#(like it was used to talk about important issues to spead information in a way that would get around censorship)#why are you acting like its their fault?? that does absolutely nothing to hurt tiktok?? and you are just kicking someone while they are down#just inform them that they dont have to do that#stop assuming youāre smarter than everyone I promise you are not <3#also anyone saying tiktok doesnāt actually censor things and its just users being dramatic is lying#or is spreading misinfo#cmon ppl use your brains#YouTube has āprotectionsā for users speech that it breaks all the time we know this#it is inconsistent with who it does and does not censor#why would you think tiktok is any different?#of course the Washington post doing a āstudyā isnt going to get censored because its a well known company#and censoring THEM would be massively reported and make tiktok look bad#not to mention the possibility that it was a mutually beneficial ātestā#tiktok would get a massive news company ādisprovingā all the alligations of censorship#which is good for bezos who ownes the WP because people post videos of Amazonās work place violations that get taken down#and now theyāll look less reliable if they talk about censorship which will then make everything they say seem less reliable
12 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
I think I finally understand the immense rage and disappointment I've seen expressed by quite a lot of wlw in regards to canon pairings in media. I'm not even sure how to put into words the way I feel right now but I'm unhappy with myself for how much I'm letting this affect me. I should be better than this but I just feel so...upset.
#and believe me i am by absolutely no means disparaging pairings between men and women#this isnt some bi/pan/heterophobic nonsense i promise you#its just when a pairing feels so utterly forced and toxic it perturbs me to an extreme degree#just let them be friends im fucking begging you theres no need to cram an unbuilt relationship with zero leadup in there#especially when theres other characters that synergize so much better with them#and believe me i would have zero issue with this if it just made fucking sense for them to be together#but its out of nowhere and completely unbelievable#just...write better relationships for fuck sake#or dont put any in at all if youre incapable of writing a natural feeling satisfying relationship#id much rather have no romance at all than something that feels so deeply wrong like this#im not gonna tag what this is about because i dont want to subject shippers that like the pairing im talking about to such negativity#i bear no ill will towards those who like it i just desperately needed to get these feelings out to calm down a bit#genuinely ripped a character from me that i felt a connection to which is so difficult with my situation#its rare to find characters that i can relate to so when theyre marred by what i consider to be a complete narrative failing its painful#i just wish i could go back and stop myself from becoming attached to them so i didnt feel so strongly about this#im sorry for ranting in the tags so much#personal
1 note
Ā·
View note