#i promise you we regret it too but often we’re just trying to make you feel better any way we can and sometimes we take shots that miss!!!

[astrohaute]

being the therapist friend all the time is such hell

[slxtslovebambi]

Teasing him in front on his friends

Suna Rintarou x Fem!reader

Mentions of Aran and Miya Twins.

Synopsis: Getting on Suna's nerves while he is with his friends probably wasn’t the best idea.

Warnings: Nsfw, Thigh riding, slight exhibitionism?, power dynamics, spanking, orgasm denial, begging, kinda degrading?

Wc: 1.7k+ | MDNI

Suna loves his pretty girl.

He loves watching his friends gush over you, and he loves the fact that he’s the only one that gets to touch you in all the places he wants.

Right now you’re placed in his lap with your head resting on his shoulder while he’s talking to Aran, Atsumu and Osamu as you’re almost falling asleep.

You love Suna's friends, you really do, but you’ve been tired all day and you just want to go home.

You want to watch TV and cuddle with him, but it doesn’t seem like your boyfriend is planning on leaving soon.

"Rin…" you mumble quietly in his ear, just loud enough for him to hear.

"What’s wrong princess?" He pauses his conversation with his friends while looking down at you.

"Can we please go home? Please?" You give him your puppy dog eyes while you claw at his shirt.

"Now?" He sighs before checking his wrist watch.

"Mhm." You respond calmly.

"Just one more hour baby I promise."

He doesn’t want to leave yet. It’s not often that he sees his friends after graduating Highschool, right now he just wants to catch up with them and have fun.

"But I’m so tired." You pout at him.

"C’mon baby stop bein' so cranky. You’ll get a reward later if you behave now."

He makes you sit up straight so that you can face him and look him in his eyes.

"I don’t want a reward, I wanna go home!" You hiss at him before you pinch his chest.

You can barley keep your eyes open and you’re starting to get annoyed at the fact that he cares more for his friends than for you, but you immediately regret raising your voice at him after you see the way he looks at you. If there’s one thing that your boyfriend hates, it’s dumb little girls acting like brats, and not only that but in front of his friends too.

He just waves off and continues to ignore you again, what doesn’t mean that he’ll let you get away with the little outburst you just had, he’s just going to take care of it later.

You keep on trying to get his attention but it seems like he just doesn’t care, he acts like you’re not even there, and keeps talking to his friends about the most random things. You’re starting to get frustrated while you think of different ways to make your boyfriend want to leave with you.

Mindlessly you begin moving in his lap when he wraps his hand around your waist to make you sit still as you get an idea. You rest your head against his chest before you start slowly rubbing your clothed pussy on his thigh. Your left hand slides under his shirt, where you hold onto his belt.

Suna immediately realizes what you’re doing and it doesn’t go unnoticed by his friends either. He roughly grabs you by your shoulder before gritting his teeth.

"What the fuck do you think you’re doin'?" He glares at you.

"I think yer girl needs some discipline Suna."

Atsumu giggles. It seems like this entire situation is pretty amusing to him.

"Shut the fuck up, like ya know what a girl needs Tsumu." Osamu interrupts his twin, as he hits his shoulder.

You still don’t stop grinding on his thigh, the spite the fact that it’s obvious that everybody’s watching you. If Suna doesn’t want to listen then he has to learn it the hard way, at least that’s what you thought before he grabbed your chin to leave a slap on your cheek.

"We’re leavin'." Is all he says before standing up and dragging you after him.

"Take care Suna." Aran and Osamu figured that acting like nothing happened would make things easier for you, since they know how Suna can be.

"Make sure ya don’t break her, she still needs to come to my game on Saturday." Atsumu jokes as you wave all 3 of them goodbye.

"Shut the fuck up." Suna responds before dragging you out.

。 ☆★☆ 。

"You seriously pissed me off today princess."

Suna pushes you onto your shared bed after he just took off your shirt and bra, exposing your tits to him.

"It’s your fault, you ignored me!"

You roll you’re eyes at him while trying to cover your chest. One stern look from him is enough to make you realize that hiding your body won’t help you right now. You let go of your chest and look up to him where his and your eyes meet.

"My fault huh?" He says while holding you in place by your waist.

"Mhm." You stand your ground.

"I should put a fucking collar on you since you wanna act like a fuckin' dog."

He moves your skirt out of the way before rubbing his thumb against your inner thigh.

"On all fours." Is all he says. You choose to not disobey him again, since you don’t want to make things worse than they already are. You feel Suna's hand trailing over the soft flesh of your butt while your face is pressed into the mattress.

"Now be a good girl and count for me yeah?" He says before you feel his hand harshly spank your behind. "O-One." You start counting. "Mhm, just like that." He praises you before slapping you again. "Two." You continue counting like Suna wanted you to. "That wasn’t loud enough." He says as he places another firm slap on your ass. "Three." You cry out loudly when you feel the pain starting to get worse and the well known stinging that’s probably going to make sitting very difficult for you for the next two to three days.

Ten slaps later and you’re so overwhelmed that you just start whining into your pillow. You wouldn’t be surprised if your neighbors could hear you by now but it’s impossible to keep your shit together with your ass burning like that. You’re sobbing while begging Suna to stop.

"C-Can’t a-anymore. P-Please, hurts to m-much." You whimper.

"Shut up and fucking take what I give you, understood?"

He warns you as he slides your panties down to your ankles before tossing them to the side. You nod slowly at his threat as he turns you onto your back and slowly presses his thumb against your clit.

He wraps his other hand around your throat tightly while smirking viciously at the fact that you’re pussy's already soaking wet for him. You can feel the metal of his rings pressing against your skin, as you gasp for air. Suna immediately feels your body twitching lightly when he slides his middle and ring finger inside of you. You grab his wrist and try to remove his hand form your neck but he just tightens his grip.

"R-Rin I- I.." you try make him stop, digging your nails into his skin but he just won’t let go.

"You want me to stop?" He asks as he looks down on you.

You just nod in response.

"Apologize to me first."

"I’m s-sorry." You barley get out.

"Say I’m sorry for bein’ a selfish little attention whore." He commands harshly as he removes his fingers from your clenching pussy to sluggishly insert his already stiffened cock inside of you.

Your head turns to the side and you whine in pain as Suna's hand forcefully grabs you by your hair to make you look at him.

"Say it!" He yells at you while tears start rolling down your face. He starts moving carefully while trying to keep himself from moaning by biting down on his lip. Fuck, he loves you for always making him feels so good, but there’s no way he’d ever let you know, especially not if you were acting like a bitch earlier.

"I-I’m sorry for being-ahh a s-selfish…." All the sobbing makes it difficult for you to think straight, what keeps you from being able to finish your sentence.

"C’mon princess you almost got it." Suna looks at you expectant while still holding you by your hair as he starts to move faster.

"For being a sel-selfish little a-attention Whore." You finish with a mortified look on your face.

"Mhm that’s right, you wanna be my good girl again?" He asks as he lets go of your hair.

"Y-Yes please." You beg mindlessly as the tears in your eyes make it hard for you too distinguished anything.

"Wanna feel good baby?" You hear him laughing quietly to himself as you let out a small, "Mhm.".

"Should I go deeper princess?" He knows exactly what your answer is going to be and yet he asked just cause he wanted to hear you say it.

"P-Please go deeper, I need you to go d-deeper Rin!"

You’re so desperate for him right now that it’s humiliating in many ways, especially since you were the one that started all of this. Of course you don’t regret it but you might think about it twice if you want to annoy your boyfriend next time. Suna holds you by your waist as he deepens his thrusts.

"Why can’t you just listen to me? You think I like doing this?"

He hisses under his teeth.

"I love treating you like a princess but you just keep makin' things difficult for me."

You can feel how frustrated he is by the way he’s slamming his dick inside of you with not a single bit of pity in sight. He feels you tightening around him, knowing that it means that you’re about to cum.

"Oh so you’re close hmm?" He hums devilishly.

You nod your head yes as you feel your body getting ready to release yourself right on his cock, wich is still hammering inside you when suddenly all your pleasure reduces to zero. You can’t even comprehend what just happened to you when you yelp loudly and notice that Suna stopped moving completely.

You whine and whimper, trying to rub your behind against him when he violently smack your butt again, right where you were already sore.

"You really thought I’d let you cum? Silly little girl… Tonight only I get to cum.

♡───◌┈───♡⃝──┈◌───♡ ———————————————————

I really don’t know how to feel about this lmaoo. I started so many works but I just don’t know how to finish them, so I’m sorry if this is kinda rushed! :(

Don’t forget to Follow and Reblog <3

———————————————————

[icequeenbae]

Boy Next Door (m) Ch.1 | BBH

Pairing: Baekhyun x Reader

Neighbor AU, slow burn, hurt/comfort, fluff, smut

Warnings [whole story]: Baek being the neighbor we’re all dreaming of, harassment (nothing graphic), a bit of body image/ insecurity, MC sucks at relationships, explicit content, unprotected sex

Word Count: ~18.5k (total), 4.5k (pt.1)

Summary: Your neighbor Baekhyun has been a pleasant acquaintance since you moved into your current apartment almost a year ago. Could he also be… a perfect match?

© Please do not copy/ post on other platforms without permission.

Chapter Masterlist: Pt. 1 > Pt. 2 > Pt. 3 > Pt. 4 (fin)

Author’s note: This has taken me so, SO long to write and edit that I cannot believe the time has come to post it lmao I just wanted to write something simple with the classic boy-next-door vibe but as usual, the story ended up being much longer than planned and I am going to post it as a mini-series. Please keep in mind that your feedback is what motivates me to write and post more <3 And biiig thanks to the lovely @beomcoups for taking on the beta duties on this whole story~

Network Tags: @bbh-net  @k-vanity  @ksmutsociety

PART 1

In the lobby or on your floor – those were the two locations where you’d been bumping into Baekhyun most often. Which wasn’t that strange, considering that you were neighbors. But it somehow always caught you off guard and left you flustered.

Just like the first time.

It happened almost a year ago when you were waiting for the elevator on the first floor of your building with your best friend Yuki, who came early to help you with preparations. A guy in a loose white dress shirt and jeans stepped into the elevator with you, politely greeting you before pressing his floor number.

‘Oh, you live on the 13th as well? So, you and our Y/N are neighbors!’ Yuki exclaimed.

‘Nice to meet you,’ you muttered and bowed, shy from the sudden introduction. He reciprocated, chocolate hair falling into his eyes charmingly.

‘You should come to her housewarming party! It’s in a couple hours,’ Yuki chimed in again. ‘You don’t need to bring anything, it’s just a small thing with a couple friends and neighbors. We’re making sure Y/N-ie settles in nicely here. So please come, we have tons of food!’

If anyone could ever say no to your friend… Well, you had never met such a person. You guessed that Baekhyun was simply too stunned by her enthusiasm, so he said he’d swing by for sure. In a way, you were thankful that she’d asked him – you’d have never had the guts to invite someone like that; especially not anyone as good-looking and cool as Baekhyun.

You regretted letting your bestie invite him the following evening when your party was in full swing for several hours. Most of the food was devoured, so now you were all drinking, crunching on snacks, and conversing; or trying to while jumping from one topic to another.

‘I wish we could gather more often. We all like to hang out with you, you know?’

As always, Yuki nagged at you for being too ‘stay-at-home’ of a friend.

‘I like to hang out too. But home is home. You know parties aren’t really my… favorite pastime.’

‘What is your favorite pastime, lying in bed cuddling your blanket?’ Chanyeol joked insensitively.

He should’ve known better since you were the most troubled in your group of friends regarding relationships. It was super tough for you to find a match, even when you made an effort to get out of the house and meet new people, mostly because of your history of failed relationships where your partners gained interest in someone else. It seemed like you were too plain to hold someone’s attention for long. So, you’d been ‘that single friend’ for several lonely years now. And at this time, you were actually in the very beginning of a new, promising relationship. You were still pretty insecure about it; thus, Yeol’s comment really did make you flinch. He was drunk, so that was understandable, but you still sulked at his words, mainly because they were true.

‘Hey, it doesn’t have to be a blanket.’ You frowned, pressing the straw to your lips in frustration.

‘I’m kinda sad that guy you’ve been talking to couldn’t come,’ Yuki interjected. ‘I wanted to find out what he’s like.’

‘Minho had work-related travel, so he’s resting up.’ You shrugged, sipping your drink timidly.

‘I’m sure the guy made this excuse just to avoid meeting your friends. How long have you known him for, like, two days?’ Chanyeol interjected.

‘It’s been a few weeks, actually,’ you corrected, and Hoseok, Yuki’s boyfriend, muttered a reproaching ‘hyung’ in his direction.

‘Gosh, you’re really this stupid while drunk,’ Yuki shook her head disapprovingly at your friend, who simply shrugged.

Baekhyun was pretty silent during the latest exchange, so when you briefly made eye contact, it reminded you that he could also hear all of that chatter. Which made you want to choke on your drink from humiliation. Thankfully, one of your friends still had some tact left that night, so they quickly changed the direction of the conversation. Still… you’d been mortified for weeks after the event, doing your best to avoid bumping into Baekhyun when leaving for work.

***

The next time you met, Baekhyun was also in the lobby of your apartment building. And once again, before a gathering at your place. Just days prior you had lost it and left your resignation letter at your boss's desk. Working such long hours under the constant pressure of absolutely unrealistic deadlines was taking its toll on you for sure. But when you found out they promoted a person, who was obviously less experienced and capable than you in working (but more capable in flirting with your manager), instead of you… It became the last straw.

Baekhyun appeared right on time as you struggled to push the elevator button with a whole case of beer in your hands.

‘Y/N,’ you heard his velvety voice call. ‘Nice to see you.’

‘Oh- Hi, Baekhyun.’ You greeted awkwardly, puffing from the weight you had to balance.

‘Let me help you with that?’ His suggestion sounded like a question, yet he instantly scooped the case from your hands.

‘You don’t need- thank you,’ you said, and he shook his head to indicate that it wasn’t a big deal.

‘So… having a party again?’ He asked as the elevator doors closed.

‘I wouldn’t call it a party,’ you hummed, looking at your feet. ‘I kinda had to quit my horrible job of 4 years, so my friends are making me celebrate it. Not that becoming unemployed calls for a celebration…’

You trailed off, not wanting to be a nuisance to your neighbor. He was just making small talk.

‘I’m sorry to hear that. Are you taking a break now or looking for something else?’

‘I’ll start looking next week. It’s Friday, my friends are coming… So I’ll try to just clear my mind and rest for one full weekend before I start stressing about a new job. Hopefully, my friends wouldn’t talk my ear off about it – that’s what the beer’s for. My little trick,’ you chuckled sheepishly.

‘Aren’t your friends supposed to treat you in this situation?’ Baekhyun huffed, shaking his head to rearrange his hair and better see you.

‘They should… bring more alcohol with them, I think. I couldn’t have them over for nothing, though.’

The doors opened after a robotic voice announced your floor.

‘Well, anyhow. Thanks a lot for your help!’ You tried taking the beer from Baekhyun, but he didn’t let you.

‘Open the door first; you can’t do it while holding this.’

‘Right. Thanks,’ you fussed, pressing your password in.

Baekhyun quickly placed the case on the floor of your hallway.

‘You should come!’ You blurted out, instantly getting flustered. ‘If you want.’

‘I might drop by if I’m free,’ he smiled softly. ‘My family wanted to have a video call later. That may take long.’

‘Of course. Have fun!’ You nodded, beating yourself up in your mind for being so weird suddenly.

‘You have fun,’ he chuckled, stepping towards his apartment. ‘Oh, and Y/N?’

Looking up at him as he called your name, you were met with his warm yet serious eyes.

‘If you need anything… You know where to find me.’

That made you strangely sentimental.

‘T-thank you.’

He sent you a message later on and let you know he couldn’t make it to your party. But in a way, he was there – on your mind.

***

It was about three weeks after you’d broken things off with Minho. If you could even consider it one, the relationship wasn’t long, only a couple months. At first, you thought it could be something, realizing later that it was only wishful thinking. There was no way the two of you could make it work; you were just not compatible with each other. The more you got to know him, the more you were reassured of that. Your life goals were different, your outlook on relationships was different… even your ideas of quality time with a significant other didn’t match. This time, the initial infatuation wore off rather quickly – probably because you didn’t go out of your way to appease him. You knew it was probably for the better. Pretty much all of your relationships ended the same way, with your boyfriends telling you they found someone else. Someone… more exciting.

This was the case for your first relationship halfway in your first year of university.

‘I’m sorry, Y/N. I just don’t feel the spark, you know? You’re so… domestic,’ your then-boyfriend said in his breakup speech. ‘I’m young, I want to experience stuff, be bold, and have fun. And there are people that I can do this with, who’ll also enjoy it.’

It repeated less than two years later when you’d barely worked up the courage to try and start something with another person. When it happened the third time, you decided you weren’t really made for relationships. It was ironic since you always wanted to be in one. You were very affectionate and were keen on taking care of people. Yes, you weren’t that into big gatherings and parties, and maybe it was a little too difficult to drag you anywhere when you were stressing about the upcoming tests and stuff… But you weren’t completely closed off! Even with those limitations, you were very sociable and had many friends. Was it so bad that you didn’t say yes to every suggestion? Did your inclination to stay at home and have cozy dates instead of outdoorsy stuff make you a non-relationship material? It seemed like every time someone else appeared, your boyfriends easily decided to move on.

And even though you weren’t in love with Minho, this breakup still made you sour. What made this particular day suck was that you’d found out that he was already in a new relationship; happily broadcasting it everywhere.

You weren’t jealous of him for being with someone else. You envied him for being able to find another partner in mere days after you parted ways, while for you, it felt like you’d never find or be able to retain anyone. Ever. Never ever.

‘Earth to Y/N!’ You jumped from someone’s voice ringing in your ears.

Looking up, you saw that the elevator doors were held open by your dashing neighbor, who was staring directly at you.

‘Sorry, I spaced out,’ you quickly entered. ‘Hi.’

‘Hey,’ Baekhyun smiled, pressing the button for your floor. ‘Is everything okay?’

‘Um, yeah. No. I mean-’ You sighed. ‘I’m just a bit out of sorts.’

‘Trouble at work?’

‘No, my new job is great. A huge improvement on the previous one. It’s just… everything else is not nearly as great?’

Yeah, because you pushed yourself to get back on the market to finally not be alone, and here you were. Back to square one.The sniffling you produced startled even your own self.

‘Oh god, I’m sorry.’

‘It’s okay. There’s nothing to be sorry about,’ he replied, his voice gentle. ‘Do you want to talk?’

‘Oh no, I wouldn’t dream about boring you with my stupid problems.’

‘I’m sure they aren’t stupid,’ he said. ‘And I have ice cream. Almost any flavor you could think of.’

You looked at him silently, and he smiled again reassuringly.

‘It’s not mandatory for you to tell me anything. But I can treat my favorite neighbor with some ice cream, can I not?’

‘Am I your favorite just because you don’t know anyone else?’ You snickered gawkily.

‘No. Not just-’

He was interrupted by the usual announcement of your floor.

‘So, what do you think? You can change first and then come, no hurry. I’m free tonight.’

You puckered your lips, genuinely intrigued by his offer. Ice cream sounded perfect right about now. Although agreeing just because of the promised treats was pretty childish, you couldn’t help but be seduced by his suggestion. So, you gave him a shy nod.

‘Okay. Throw on something comfy and come over.’

You entered your respective apartments, and only after the door behind you locked… you realized that your heart was racing.

‘Damn you, Y/N, why did you agree to do this??’ You whined, catching a glimpse of your scrunched-up face in the mirror.

Fishing your phone out of your handbag quickly, you messaged Yuki.

You | I fucked up, Yu!!

You | Idk what to do now…. ㅠㅠ

Ki-yaah | What happened?? Did you like a pic on Minho’s new gf’s SNS??

Ki-yaah | I’m so dumb for telling you about this… I’m so sorry Y/N ㅠㅠ

You | No, not that

You | Who cares about Minho and his girlfriend??

You | I mean, I was a bit salty about this… But I met Baekhyun again!

Ki-yaah | Baekhyun? Your cute as fuck neighbor Baekhyun??

You | No

You | Yes?

You | My neighbor Baekhyun. I blurted out that I wasn’t in the greatest mood, and he invited me to his place for ice cream!

Ki-yaah | WHAT

Ki-yaah | YAH

Ki-yaah | THAT SLEEK BASTARD

Ki-yaah | I hope you’re texting me from his couch

Ki-yaah | Or kitchen counter

Ki-yaah | Or wherever you kids decide to do it

A bunch of obscene emojis appeared on your screen, making you blush on the spot.

You | Do it?? We’re not doing anything. I’m home!

Ki-yaah | So, you’ve already done it?? HOW WAS IT??

Ki-yaah | Waaah, you’re quick these days, Y/N-ah! Finally, you’re learning your lessons

Ki-yaah | I hope you wrapped it up though

Ki-yaah | I wouldn’t blame you if you skipped it, though, I can imagine how starved you are on good sex.. Still, safety first!

Ki-yaah | Wait, so was he?? Any good??

Ki-yaah | You’re silent!

She typed so fast that you didn’t even have a second to write back, mostly from shock – your friend wasn’t always this shameless, actually.

Then she started calling.

‘Yah, why aren’t you spilling the beans?? Too worn out to type, bestie?’ She smirked on the phone, making you cringe.

‘Because there’s nothing to spill! I haven’t even gone over yet.’

There was a second of silence.

‘… What?!’

‘I have to change; I just came from work, you know? My makeup needs fixing too…’

Your phone instantly started vibrating as a video call request came in, which you begrudgingly accepted.

‘Damn, you can’t go like this. It’s not seductive at all!’ She exclaimed.

‘I’m not going over to seduce anyone! And he told me to wear something comfy…’

‘What?? Hm, actually…’ She tapped her index finger on her chin, deep in thought. ‘He does look like the type to be into that.’

‘I-into what?’

‘Cute girls! I told you already, he was probably crushing on you since the time he came to your housewarming party!’

‘Pfft, that’s ridiculous. And don’t bring up him allegedly glaring at Yeol for his stupid comments again, I beg of you!’

‘Alright. But he’s always so nice to you! Oh-Em-Gee, you’d look so cute together,’ she squealed.

‘I don’t have time for this. I can’t have him waiting for much longer, and I need to shower…’

‘Yes! And remove your makeup while you’re at it.’

‘Huh?? If I redo my makeup… isn’t it gonna look strange? Like I’m trying too hard?’

‘You won’t have to redo it. You’ll have only very basic nude makeup on. Looking all natural and cute.’

‘I swear, if you say ‘cute’ one more time-’

‘Can’t a girl dream?? I can already imagine how cute your children would be…’ Your friend kept musing.

‘I’m hanging up.’

‘Yah, take this seriously. Clean up nicely, and let your hair down. Also, shave your-’

‘Yuki!!’

‘You never know!! One second, he’s licking ice cream off his spoon; the other, he’s l-’

Quickly tapping on your phone screen, you canceled this embarrassing call. The vivid images didn’t leave your mind as fast, though, so you shivered, shaking your head to get rid of the obscenities.

‘She’s a bad influence, for sure,’ you muttered, still ashamed of yourself for imagining your neighbor in such a context.

The time was ticking, so you decided that Yuki was somewhat right and needed to clean up. You also needed to hurry the heck up; you didn’t want to make Baekhyun wait too long. Thirty minutes later, you were in front of his door.

‘Come in, come in,’ he ushered you inside, having you change your footwear for the pink house slippers.

Why did he have those again?

‘Cute, right? I ordered them for my niece and got the size completely wrong, but they fit you perfectly. I guess I wasn’t wrong after all.’

He looked at your feet for another second before blinking and clearing his throat.

‘Let’s not waste any more time, everything’s ready. Come on!’

Everything? Did he prepare a whole reception?

You took a good look at the back of his head as he walked you to his kitchen, noticing that his hair was slightly wet. Did he also shower? You swallowed at the thought. He probably didn’t invest as much time into the preparations as you did, though. You blamed your best friend for the inappropriate thought she planted in your head!

‘Here, take a look.’

He opened his freezer, and you gasped.

There was an entire collection of ice cream. Cones, popsicles, buckets… All different flavors and manufacturers.

‘I see you’re impressed,’ he smirked. ‘I have a niece and a nephew, you know? Kids aren’t easy to please these days.’

‘Can’t deny that I am. How many do you have here?’

‘No idea… I just keep buying them. Which one’s to your liking? You can try different ones. I’m in the mood for mint choco and lemon.’

‘Those are my favorites!’ You jumped up like a kid.

‘Really? Both?’

‘Yeah! I haven’t seen a lemon ice cream anywhere, only sorbets! Where did you find it?’ You closed the freezer as he got the two buckets out.

Baekhyun suddenly seemed pleased with himself.

‘You think I give away trade secrets just like that…’ He replied mysteriously.

‘I wanna buy some too,’ you pouted, circling around him while he took the lids off. ‘If you don’t tell me… I’ll eat all of yours!’

‘Ha, go ahead. There’s more where that came from,’ he teased right back, hovering slightly over you.

Lowering your gaze to avoid staring directly at him, you noticed something.

‘What’s this?’

Baekhyun turned back to the counter.

‘Ah, this old thing? You know how ice cream scoops are sold in paper cups or cones? This thing,’ he picked it up. ‘Is to make those. Watch.’

He dipped the instrument in water and shook it slightly, then scooped the mint ice cream, creating a smooth green ball with tiny pieces of chocolate adding to its hue.

‘Cool,’ you muttered, genuinely finding that fascinating.

‘Right? It’s awesome!’

‘Let me guess: the kids don’t appreciate it enough?’ You asked.

‘Those little- Here, you try with lemon.’ He pressed on a small lever and dropped the green globe into a bowl.

You shook your head.

‘I’ll mess it up; you do it.’

‘Come on, Y/N. You can’t mess it up; it’s just ice cream.’

‘Just ice cream? You don’t deserve to know the secret selling spots for this!’

He snorted, moving to the side to give you more space to try and repeat his previous actions.

You dipped it in water like he did and shook it before moving the lemon ice cream bucket closer. Spending about twenty seconds taking aim, you huffed.

‘I can’t do it! Yours is so round and pretty; I am not that professional.’

‘I’ll help,’ he chuckled at your meltdown, holding your wrist and softly pressing down on your hand to guide it. ‘Scoop it this way to make it full and round.’

You did as you were told, yet your mind was far away from the scooping technique. The entire focus of your being was now set on the unprecedented proximity you were in. He held your hand, his chest so close to your shoulder that you could feel the heat radiating off him. When you dropped a yellow ball of lemon ice cream into the bowl, you could only pray that he didn’t notice the goosebumps littering your arms.

‘See? Yours is even better-shaped than mine,’ he hummed close to your ear.

‘Y-yeah.’

As if sensing your perturbation, Baekhyun suddenly stepped back.

‘Trying just two flavors is a waste of an evening. Let’s get more.’

Ten minutes later, you were sitting in his living room at the small table in front of his couch. The bowl with at least a dozen different ice creams sat atop another one, which was filled with ice.

‘No one likes melted goo, right?’ Baekhyun chuckled while constructing this mobile freezer.

You tried all of them one by one, gushing about each flavor.

‘The grape one isn’t tickling my fancy,’ he said, nudging the oddly-colored glob away.

‘Really?’ You reached for it with your spoon.

‘Don’t even try it. That’s bad,’ he scrunched his nose. ‘I can taste every chemical they used to make this grape flavor.’

You laughed, trying it despite his protests.

‘It tastes like… very cheap jelly,’ you said.

‘Exactly! Such a strange texture. Hmm, I shall look for a better option then. My nephew Siwoo loves grapes.’

You smiled at his concern for his youngest family member’s preferences.

‘Your nephews must be the happiest kids in town with an uncle like that,’ you murmured, stealing a bite from the rest of the lemon ball that he subtly nudged your way earlier.

‘They’re pretty lucky, aren’t they?’ He agreed easily, earning a snicker from you.

As you savored the last of the lemon flavor on your tongue, he leaned in, eyes focused on your lips.

‘You eat just like Siwoo,’ he instinctively wiped your lower lip with his thumb.

Looking up at him, you caught the moment he realized what he was doing and retreated.

‘Sorry,’ he muttered awkwardly. ‘It’s a habit.’

Pressing your finger to your lower lip, which was now burning, you shook your head neutrally.

‘It’s okay. You must spend a lot of time with them,’ you scooped more in your spoon to somehow soothe the burn on your lips.

‘Not as much as I’d like. Most of the time, our schedules don’t match up, especially with them living in a different city. I try to have them over or visit them as much as possible.’

Baekhyun’s voice became warmer as he reminisced.

‘I get scolded by hyung a lot for spoiling them. But what can I do? At least they’ll have those pleasant memories and presents to remember me by while we’re apart.’

‘Are they close in age?’

‘About four years apart. Seoyul is pretty grown already; I can’t believe her little brother is going to school soon as well.’ He smiled, remembering something. ‘When she started her first grade, he was so upset. He cried every time she left the house.’

‘Aw, that’s so cute,’ you cooed. ‘So they’re getting along well?’

‘Yeah, apart from the occasional bickering. Siwoo is… a boy.’

‘A little daredevil?’

‘He’s driving his noona insane sometimes. To be honest, I was exactly the same at his age. We’re both lucky to have siblings several years older.’

‘Ah, so your hyung is much older than you?’

‘Seven years. He was almost like a father,’ Baekhyun chuckled. ‘But had he been even a couple of years younger… Pretty sure he would’ve given me a piece of his mind back then.’

‘I wouldn’t ever imagine that you were a maknae of your family.’

‘Why? I had so much aegyo as a child! Yes, my mom had to exercise lots of patience, but I was cute as hell.’

‘I’m sure that’s how it was,’ you hummed.

‘I’m still in the top-3 cutest of our family list. Might even be cuter than Seoyul at times; she’s way too serious these days.’

‘Wow, going over your nephews’ heads after the title… How mature of you.’

‘Hey, don’t blame me for being extremely cute.’

‘Show me some aegyo then,’ you challenged him with a smile.

‘Huh, you wish. You’re not ready for my aegyo, Y/N-ie.’ He responded sassily.

‘Is that so?’ You smirked, holding his gaze up until the chime of your phone provided an interruption.

Your bestie found a great time to pry into your business, which was evident from the message previews on the screen.

Ki-yaah | You’re not texting me back…

Ki-yaah | Which either means that you chickened out…

Ki-yaah | …or his stamina is REALLY freaking impressive

Ki-yaah | Which one is it??? I hope it’s the latter!

You inhaled sharply and started coughing, barely managing to swipe those messages off the screen before Baekhyun could see them.

‘Are you okay?’ He patted you on the back to help you overcome your coughing fit.

‘Yeah, I’m fine. I didn’t realize it was so late… It was so rude of me to keep you up. Let me help you clean this up.’

‘Leave it,’ he shook his head, catching you by the wrist. ‘I’ll put this away later.’

‘I’ll… get going then,’ you stood so abruptly that your legs couldn’t keep up with you, completely numb from being in the same position for so long.

‘Y/N!’ Baekhyun rose to catch you by the arms. ‘Take a second, sit on the couch. Your legs must’ve fallen asleep.’

You swatted at your legs with your palms, urging the blood flow to restore quicker.

‘Sorry…’

‘Why are you sorry? I’m not in a hurry to get rid of you.’ He stated simply.

‘It’s just so late… and… you must have stuff to do.’

‘Nope. I actually had fun. I rarely get to sit around at home munching on ice cream and enjoying another grownup’s company.’

You bit your lip shyly at his words, and he suddenly tsked.

‘Although I feel like we were mostly talking about me. That’s a shame. I want to hear about you as well,’ Baekhyun mused, walking you to the door. ‘Well, let’s save it for next time.’

Next time, he said.

Next time??

You turned your back on him to conceal the shade of your cheeks and pretended to fidget with the doorknob.

‘Let me,’ he reached over you, pressing his warm chest to your back for a second to unlock the door.

But before you could step outside, his fingers wrapped around your forearm in a lax hold.

‘And Y/N… If you ever find yourself craving some lemon ice cream… I’m ready to provide it.’

With that, he pushed the door open and allowed you to leave his apartment.

Masterlist

A/N: Thank you for reading! Another BBH mini-series started 💫 I hope you enjoyed part 1~ Pls let me know what you think via comments, asks and reblogs, my darlings 💜 Also, I am very curious if you are picturing anyone in particular as Hoseok hehe 🙃

[littlemissthunderstorms]

tempestuous phase- drabble (alex turner x reader)

———

you’d gotten into a fight. over something incredibly stupid. you two were both busy with work and stressed out and let out all those tumultuous feelings onto each other when you shouldn’t have. alex had stormed out, saying he needed ‘a walk to clear his mind’.

so now, you were tucked up in the guest bedroom trying to sob yourself to sleep. you hated when alex was mad at you, and you hated being mad at him. especially in times like these where you needed to rely on one another for love and support. all these thoughts kept you up and made you anxious. you’d never had a fight this bad, what if the tension never leaves? what if it simmers up and boils over until you just can’t be together anymore?

you were being silly, you thought. the immense love and respect you two had for each other couldn’t be broken by some stupid fight. still, anxiety gnawed at you, keeping the flow of tears steady as they ran down your cheeks and onto the plush pillow.

eventually, you’d exhausted yourself so much that you’d fallen asleep. while you were sleeping, alex came home to silence. worry consumed him when he checked the bedroom and you weren’t in there. he checked every room, bathroom, living room, studio, until finally he slowly creaked the guest bedroom door open and saw your figure tangled in the sheets.

he slowly walked over to you, watching you tentatively. a soft lamp was on in the corner, making it easy for him to see the tear stains on your reddened face, a wet spot on the pillow from your tears. it made his heart ache, a pool of sadness residing in his stomach. he regretted everything he said.

alex took his coat off and quietly discarded it onto the floor, as well as his shoes. this left him only in his pajamas that he’d had on prior to the fight. sitting on the opposite side of the bed, he tenderly brushed a strand of hair out of your face. “baby,” he spoke softly, resting his hand on your shoulder and giving it a gentle squeeze.

you awoke and turned over a bit to see him. his eyes were worrisome, hair all mussed and astray like he’d ran his fingers through it one to many times. “cm’ere, can i hug you?”

you looked up at him with soft, watery eyes. you slowly, silently sat up, scooting over to him. immediately, he wrapped his arms around you in a tight embrace, kissing the top of your head. “god, i’m so sorry,” his voice broke. “s’ okay,” you mumbled quietly. “no, no it’s not. i shouldn’t have snapped at you like that.” he gulped, his voice wavering, “i’m so sorry honey, you know i love you so much.”

he continued. “the stress got the best of me and i let it out on you when i shouldn’t have. i regret it so much. i don’t ever want to make you cry like that sweetheart.” his heart throbbed, a tear rolled down his face. alex didn’t cry often, but when he did it made you want to sob. you wrapped your arms around his middle, crying into his shoulder. “oh baby don’t cry,” he held your face so you’d look up at him.

you laughed softly through your tears. “you’re the one making me cry,” you mustered. he chuckled, eyes watery as they looked down at you. “i’m sorry too.. i made it worse by yelling back and-“ alex interrupted, solely focused on you. “don’t be sorry, it wasn’t your fault.”

you shook your head. “i think we’re just both stressed out and exhausted. i forgive you alex.” his heart fluttered as he lay down, pulling you into his chest. “i agree, we need some sleep. we’ll talk more in the morning, alright?” his hand held yours to his chest, fingertips moving in languid circles along the back of your palm.

you nodded, tucking into him. alex ducked his head down, giving you a tender kiss, a silent promise that he’d love you no matter what. after a few whispered sweet nothings, you two drifted off to sleep intwined in eachother, hearts beating together as your chests touched.

———

taglist: @ultragirrl @inmyownfantasywrld @almluv @raven-ql @ohladymoon @yourstartreatment @missbabyjay @andulina567 @blair-s-world @rentsturner @indierockgirrl @kittyrob0t @averyzversi0n @michelleisheres-blog @kennedy-brooke (let me know if you want to be added/removed)

[formulauno98]

Yacht Girl Summer - Chapter Two / Friday - George Russell x Reader, Toto Wolff x Reader

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: Nothing spicy yet. This is going to be a slow burn and if you're uncomfortable with the idea of two-timing don't read this.

Author’s Notes: Disclaimer, purely fiction. No use of Y/N and minimal descriptions because I want everyone/anyone to be able to enjoy this.

FRIDAY MORNING

As your alarm buzzed at six, stirring you from your deep sleep, you almost regretted agreeing to Friday’s early start. Blinking away the remnants of dreams, you slipped out of bed carefully, trying not to wake George as you padded to the bathroom.

Showering quickly, you then slipped on a crochet bikini and a breezy linen shirt and shorts co-ord, hopefully suitable attire for a day of exploring. By the time you emerged, George was still in bed, his breathing slow and steady. Dipping down onto the bed, you gently stroked his hair, “George, wake up, it’s already six thirty.”

Disorientated, he stirred, “Huh…”

Smiling, you kissed his forehead, before raising your voice slightly, “You wanted to come explore no? Well, get out of bed lazy boy!”

“Aghhh.” he said, pulling the duvet up over his head, “I feel like you’re my Mum.”

Giggling, you lay back down, pulling the duvet back down to reveal his face and snuggling into him, “I hope not.”

“You don’t really,” he said, leaning forward to kiss you.

“Glad to hear it,” you said, before sitting up abruptly. In your mixed-emotion state, you’d been avoiding getting intimate with George and mornings like this were the prime time for it. Luckily time was on your side this morning and if George didn’t get moving, you’d be left behind. “You need to get ready, you have twenty-five minutes.”

‘Ugh.” groaned George, sitting up, “Sure. If you want to go ahead and get breakfast I don’t mind. I will be quick I promise.”

“If you’re sure?” you asked, “I’ll see you in a bit then.”

– – –

As you made your way back to the deck where you’d dined the previous night you were greeted with a surprise. Toto was already there, sitting alone at a table laden with pastries and fruit, sipping coffee and gazing out at the horizon.

"Good morning," you greeted him, feeling a little more confident after chatting with him the previous night.

"Good morning," he replied, a warm smile lighting up his face. "Missing your partner in crime? Is he doing his hair?”

Laughing, you nodded, taking a seat across from him. "You know him too well. I thought I’d make the most of the morning instead of sitting there watching him fluff his hair.” glancing around at the picture-perfect morning light you added, “It’s so beautiful out here.”

Toto nodded in agreement. "It truly is. And the water looks calm so we will easily get to the coves. If you’d like we could perhaps also try some snorkelling?"

Your eyes lit up at the mention of snorkelling. "Ooh yes, I love snorkelling. Is it any good around here?"

Toto’s smile widened. "It can be, normally when it’s calm like this you’ll see more. When it’s rough the water is cloudy and everything interesting hides away. Do you snorkel often?”

"Whenever I get the chance," you replied, reaching for a croissant and adding absentmindedly “George is less keen though…” 

“I’m sure we can convince him otherwise,” said Toto, winking at you and taking a sip of coffee as right on cue, George appeared, looking groggy but cheerful. “Morning sunshine.”

“Morning boss.” retorted George sarcastically, pulling out a chair before sitting beside you at the table, “What are you guys talking about? You look shifty.”

“You.” you said, with a smirk, “We were talking about snorkelling and how you’re not a fan but we’re going to convert you.”

George huffed slightly, “Fat chance.”

“Why not?” interjected Toto.

“It’s dull.” George said, “It’s just floating on top of the water, getting excited if a little fishy swims by.”

Rolling your eyes at your boyfriend’s words, you replied, “Let’s see. There might be more than a little fishy according to Toto.”

Just as George was about to respond, with likely a sardonic response, John arrived, taking the seat opposite Toto. 

“Morning campers,” he said cheerily. “Have I got time for a croissant?” he asked Toto.

“Of course.” said Toto, “I said seven but we can leave at any time. The crew have packed everything for us.”

“Good good,” said John, rubbing his hands together as he surveyed the breakfast table in front of him. The conversation quickly turning to racing as George and John immediately started vying for Toto’s attention, their animated chatter dominating the breakfast table.

Finishing your croissant, you focused on your breakfast, feeling the familiar pang of isolation. You’d been having a nice chat until John came along. Noticing the change in your demeanour, Toto shot you a concerned look, but there was little he could do with George and John in full flow.

– – – 

After finishing breakfast the four of you regathered on the deck, ready to board the motor launch to the cove. The weather was perfect and you couldn’t wait to get in the water later. Toto had advised it was a quick journey and he wasn’t wrong as no more than ten minutes later you were pulling up to the most glorious, secluded cove.

“This is beautiful!” you exclaimed, probably the first time you’d gotten a word in since John’s arrival.

“Blimey.” said George, “It actually is.”

“Wow.” was all John managed to add, the quietest he’d been all morning.

Nestled along the rugged coastline, the rocky cove was a hidden gem. High cliffs sprinkled with patches of delicate wildflowers enveloped a perfect crescent-shaped beach, sheltering the cove from the wider world. Pine trees topped the cliff, the view picture-perfect.

“How did you find this place Toto?” you asked, turning to find the Austrian grinning away, clearly pleased by your reactions.

“We like to get out and explore.” he said, gesturing to the crew member who was steering the motor launch, “We found this place a few years ago and now we come back every year.”

“Amazing,” said George, falling silent as the last part of the approach was tricky, requiring careful navigation over jagged rocks.

Upon arriving you disembarked carefully, George helping you clamber out of the boat in a surprisingly gentlemanly fashion.

“Thank you,” you said, dropping his hand as your feet touched down on the sandy beach before you. It was rare to find sand on this rocky Italian coastline and you couldn’t help but be impressed.

Following Toto’s lead you made your way down the beach a little, where he, John and the crew member were already popping down an assortment of blankets alongside your coolers.

“This is nice.” said George, catching up with you, “I wasn’t expecting it to be this nice.”

“Yeah,” you agreed, “I’m glad we woke up early.”

“Me too.” said George, pressing a kiss to your temple, “This is the life, am I right?”

Nodding, you both reached the blankets and settled down on the outer edge, George and John making sure they were right beside Toto.

Steeling yourself for another morning of being ignored you were surprised when Toto offered you the first choice of drinks from the cooler, “Would you like anything to drink?” he asked kindly, gesturing at the box behind you.

“Oh, I’m okay thank you,” you said, not wanting to drink anything just yet. “But thank you for bringing everything, I’ll definitely have one later.”

“What about me?” asked George indignantly.

“Ladies first.” said Toto, still peering at you intently, “Would you like anything to drink George? John?”

Smirking at your boyfriend’s quirks, you met Toto’s eyes knowingly as George and John began to debate still versus sparkling water. Those two could chat about anything and you were surprised to see that Toto seemed to be much quieter. You resolved that maybe he was the strong and silent type.

Lying back you settled down, admiring the crystal-clear turquoise water in front of you, the motor launch vaguely in the distance as the crew member took it back to the yacht.

You were just starting to get comfortable when your peace was interrupted by a phone loudly buzzing.

“Sorry everyone,” said John, getting up gingerly from the blanket to answer his phone, “I’m going to have to take this, surprised I have a signal.” starting to wander down the beach a little way, he suddenly turned back and added,  “George, I might need you on this call too.”

George nodded, clearly eager to help and you were left alone with Toto once again. Sighing, you turned back to look at the sparkling water, wishing you could escape the growing sense of loneliness.

Toto interrupted your musings, his expression thoughtful. "If it is who I think it is, that call will take some time, while they’re gone, would you like to see something special?" he asked. "There’s a hidden waterfall not far from here."

Your eyes widened in surprise. "Really? Yes, I’d love to see it, but maybe I should check with George."

George overheard and waved you off with a distracted smile. "Go ahead, guys. I’ll catch up with you later."

Intrigued, you followed Toto as he led the way along the rocky shore and up a narrow twisting dirt path into the clump of pine trees, falling once again into a comfortable silence. The route was tricky and Toto was very gentlemanly, holding his arm out to help as you clambered over the rocks and tree roots. 

“Almost there,” he said encouragingly, “I think you will like it.”

– – –

After a short hike through the pine forest, the sound of rushing water filled your ears and you emerged into a secluded clearing where a small but beautiful waterfall cascaded into a clear rocky pool.

"It’s amazing," you whispered, captivated by the natural beauty.

Toto smiled, his eyes twinkling. "I thought you might like it. Come, we can get closer.”

Following Toto’s lead, you followed him as he carefully picked his way up the rocks. 

“Here we go,” he said, stopping on a large, flat piece of rock and plopping down to sit.

Settling beside him, you were hit with cool mist from the waterfall, the perfect remedy to the heat of the hike.

“This is perfect,” you said, allowing the mist to hit your face. 

“Good right?” he said, grinning in a surprisingly goofy manner. He was quite endearing when it came down to it.

Once again you sat side by side in comfortable peace and quiet. Toto was most definitely not like George, who would have been in the waterfall by now. As you sat, you couldn’t help but sneakily study Toto’s chiselled features. You’d never really looked at him closely but he was arguably a handsome man. Tall with broad shoulders, his arms looked like he was a man who hit the gym and knew what he was doing. Coupled with his big brown eyes, a charmingly lopsided grin and ruffled hair, you were suddenly hit with the realisation that you had the hots for your boyfriend’s boss.

“You mentioned last night that you love the great outdoors,” Toto said, turning to you. “What’s been your favourite place so far?”

Caught off guard by the question, and hoping he hadn’t caught you staring, you took a moment to think. “That’s a tough one.” considering his question for a moment, “ I think Iceland was one of my favourites, it’s like nowhere else on Earth.”

“Ah yes, Iceland is beautiful,” Toto agreed. “It’s on my list of places to visit again. So you get out into the wilderness often?”

“I try to,” you replied. “Whenever I can get away from work. I hate being stuck indoors.”

Toto nodded. “It’s important to take that time for yourself. The world is too beautiful to stay in one place.”

You smiled, feeling a connection with Toto at that moment. He seemed to understand your need for escape and adventure, something George didn’t.

“How about you?” you asked. “Do you get much time to travel outside of racing?”

“Not as much as I’d like,” he admitted. “But I make the most of the opportunities when they come. I try to escape whenever I can but it is not always easy.”

“I can imagine,” you said, genuinely impressed. “But it’s good you can sometimes, I wish I could do that more often.”

Toto’s gaze softened as he looked at you. “You should. You’re young, life is short, make the most of it.”

You nodded, feeling the weight of his words. “That’s true, well this trip is making the most of it so far!”

He smiled a warm and genuine smile that made your heart flutter. “I’m glad to hear that, we can get out some more over the coming week.”

As you sat there, the waterfall’s mist continuing to cool your skin, you realized how different Toto was from George. He was quiet, considerate and genuinely interested in talking to you. Not at all the imposing businessman you had thought he would be. You were sure he had that capability too but on a human level, he was nice.

– – –

Having spent a short while continuing to swap stories of your travel adventures and snapping some photos of the waterfall, you and Toto called time on your excursion and made your way back down to the beach. Glancing at your watch you were surprised to see that you’d be gone for almost an hour. Time had flown and you knew George would be wondering where you had been.

Sure enough, when you finally returned to the sand, George’s demeanour had changed. He seemed visibly put out by the time you had spent with Toto and immediately became extra affectionate, pulling you into a tight embrace and snuggling up to you as you joined him back on the blanket.

“How was the waterfall?” he asked, clutching onto you for dear life.

“Beautiful,” you said, “Here, let me show you some photos.”

Before you had the chance to whip out your phone, John once again interjected, asking George about his diary. Typically, George turned his full attention to John, ignoring you save for a tight arm around your waist, almost possessively.

You felt uncomfortable with George’s sudden display of affection but also guilty for enjoying your hike with Toto. With mixed feelings you reluctantly put up with it, lying in George’s arms as he chatted business with John and Toto for the rest of the morning.

FRIDAY EVENING

Despite George’s strange reaction, the day had turned out to be a lovely one, having had a lowkey lunch on the beach before returning to the motor launch to go snorkelling. Clearly wanting to impress you, George had even joined in and begrudgingly admitted that he had had a good time.

As the sun began to set, you couldn’t help but feel conflicted. Although snorkelling had been fun, the hidden waterfall had been the highlight of the day, a brief escape from the turmoil of your relationship woes. Talking with Toto one-on-one, you felt like your own person again and you couldn’t help but have felt a little disappointed that you didn’t get to chat much with him for the rest of the day.

As you lay in bed that night, George’s arm draped over you, your thoughts drifted to Toto and the connection you had felt. The trip was far from over, and you couldn’t help but wonder what the next days would bring.

Part Three

Taglist: @prettiest-at-the-party

[onceuponastory]

home for christmas - bucky barnes x reader

Plot: When it doesn’t look like Bucky will make it home in time for Christmas, he promises to make it up to Y/N. Pairing: TFATWS Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader Warnings: A few small mentions of Bucky’s past, but other than that it’s just sickly sweet fluff. But, as always, if I miss any triggers, please let me know. Notes: This was written as part of a Secret Santa fic exchange for the Thot Neighbourhood discord server. I drew @breakablebarnes, TFATWS Bucky, the dialogue prompt: “But I’ve been such a good girl” and the festive device of some hot cocoa. I hope you like your fic!

Not beta’d, so all mistakes are my own. Thank you to @thesundrop / @astartothemoon for my divider!

“Come on Bucky, are you sure you can’t?” 

“Yes.”

“It’s just-”

“I know. But I’m sorry Y/N, no. I can’t. We’re under pretty strict orders here.” He sighs, and Y/N can just picture the look of disappointment on his face. No doubt his mirrors hers perfectly.

“But I’ve been such a good girl!” Y/N exclaims. Her words make Bucky stop before he can even think of a comeback, and Y/N regrets her word choice right away. “Okay, maybe that one was too much. Seriously though, you’ve been working really hard these past few months, and it’s almost Christmas. Are you sure you can’t be home sooner? I don’t want you overworking yourself.” A sigh sounds on the other end of the phone. However, it’s not an angry or frustrated sigh. It’s a disappointed one. One that makes Y/N feel guilty. 

She honestly doesn’t mean to pester him so much. After all, she knows Bucky is trying his best to get Tony to change his mind and let them go home early. And of course, she knows that Bucky’s work as an Avenger is incredibly important, far more than her job could ever be. She’s so proud of him for going out and saving the world, the same world that only a few decades ago treated him so horribly. Now, he can show everyone he’s the hero that she knew he always was, and prove that his past doesn’t define him. 

Still though, Y/N doesn’t want him overexerting himself to prove that he’s worthy of everyone’s forgiveness. The missions have been getting longer, and she’s often received text messages from Bucky all hours of the night, making her even more worried about her boyfriend’s sleep levels. Even though he pretends to be strong, she can tell how tired he is, and see how his past still affects him. Bucky’s the kindest, bravest soul she knows, and she just wishes he believed in himself more, and saw himself as the person she knows he is. Someone kind and loving, despite everything that he’s been through. In her mind, he doesn’t need a thousand missions under his belt to prove that he’s a hero. But until then, she’ll tell him what a wonderful person he is as much as she can. 

If worrying about Bucky’s health wasn’t enough for her, this mission seems like it’s been going on forever. She misses not having him around, having him sleeping next to her and having his smiling face as the first thing she sees when she wakes up and the last thing she sees before she falls asleep. Especially now, in the run up to the festive period, it’s torture to be so far away from Bucky. Honestly, it feels like he’s barely home nowadays. Sure, as the girlfriend of an Avenger she knows that she signed up for this life…but that doesn’t mean that she can’t hate it.

“I’m sorry Y/N, but I can’t. Tony says we’ve still got some work to do here, so it’ll still be a few weeks before we can go home.” Her heart sinks, and she feels her entire body slump in disappointment. “I know. I hate it too.” Bucky says, as if he can feel her pain through the phone. He’s good at that: noticing that something is wrong with her and providing love and support before she even knows something is wrong. To her, that’s even more proof of what a good person Bucky Barnes is, and it shows he was never the monster HYDRA made him to be. And it also makes her love and miss him even more. “You know, I’ve been talking about you so much that I think Sam and Steve are going crazy.” She giggles at that, and Bucky does too. “God, I miss that noise so much. I miss you so much.”

“I miss you too.”

“You’re my favourite person in the world. Don’t you ever forget that.” 

“Like I could ever forget. You say it to me every time we call.” She reminds him, sniffling a little. Despite how upset she is and how much she misses Bucky, Y/N curses a little at herself for crying. She’d never want Bucky to feel bad for not being able to come home sooner, or for him to think that she resents being with him. Because she loves Bucky Barnes more than anything in the world. A bit of distance won’t change that.

“Doesn’t stop it from being true, though.” She hears a noise on the other line, and Bucky sighs. “I better go. Tony’s shouting something, and you know what he’s like when he’s kept waiting. Don’t want a repeat of last year’s New Year’s Eve party.” He chuckles. The mention of the happy memory makes Y/N's heart sink as her yearning for Bucky deepens. She knows he’s trying to cheer her up and mask his own disappointment, but she also knows that both of them can tell it’s not working. They'd rather be laughing and making memories together here at home, rather than miles apart from each other. And she doesn’t even know when they’ll be able to do that again.

“I swear these phone calls get shorter every week.” She sighs.

“I know. If I can, I’ll call you tomorrow, okay? Love you.”

“Love you too.” 

“I promise I’ll make it up to you.” He tells her before the call disconnects. And then, he’s gone. And once again, Y/N is alone.

A week later, Y/N comes home after another long day at work. The closer it gets to Christmas, she’s just as busy as Bucky. Bucky. Another pang hits her stomach at the thought of her boyfriend. Thankfully, they’ve spoken more on the phone since that call last week, and being so busy preoccupies her slightly. But that doesn’t mean she’s missing him any less. Christmas is almost a week away, and there’s still no word of when Bucky will be home. Hopefully, it’s sooner rather than later.

As she steps closer into her house, Y/N suddenly feels the hair on the back of her neck sticking up. Something seems off. When your boyfriend and most of your best friends are Avengers, you know a lot about personal safety and self defence. And that means that Y/N can tell immediately when someone’s been in her house. Her blood chilling, she steps closer into her hallway, rooting around in her bag for the panic alarm Tony gave her. She can almost hear Bucky’s voice in her head, telling her to just get out of the house and call for help. But when he left, she promised him she’d be brave, and there’s no better time to be brave than confronting an intruder on her own. As she nears her living room, Y/N’s heart is thumping so loudly it might break out of her chest. She takes a breath, expecting to see the room destroyed….

Yet, when she turns, Y/N sees the exact opposite. Her Christmas lights are all on, filling the room with a soft glow. Her fairy lights have also been strung up, adding even more light. An array of blankets, cushions and stuffed animals cover her couch. Everything looks so festive and cosy. Y/N walks into the room, her mouth dropping open in surprise. “How did-”

“Oh fuck. I wasn’t expecting you to be home yet.” The sound of a voice almost makes her scream…until she realises who it belongs to. Bucky. She drops everything, rushing into his arms without another word, almost knocking the pair off their feet. “Oof! Hey you!” Bucky chuckles, kissing her temple as he tightly wraps his arms around her.

“What are you doing here?” She asks, her voice muffled by Bucky’s shirt. “You said Tony wouldn’t let you go.”

“Turns out the mission finished earlier than expected, so he let us go home early after all. I thought I'd surprise you as an early Christmas present.” He explains, rubbing his hands across her back. 

“I’m so glad to see you. I missed you so much.” She whispers.

“I missed you too.” They both hold each other close, grasping the other tightly. After so long spent apart, all they want is to keep each other close and to never let go. “That’s not the only surprise, though.” Bucky admits. Y/N frowns.

“There’s more? Buck, you didn’t have to. Having you home for Christmas is all I ever wanted.” 

“I know. But you’re my best girl, and I promised I’d make it up to you, didn’t I?” He asks, and she nods. She swears she’s the luckiest girl in the world to have Bucky in her life. He loves her so much, and he’s so giving. “We’re going to spend the night watching all your favourite festive movies. So you go sit down, and I’ll be right back.” He orders, kissing her cheek. A few minutes later, Bucky comes back holding a tray with two mugs and a big bowl of popcorn. Sitting down, he passes over a mug, and Y/N takes a sip. As soon as she tastes the warm cocoa with whipped cream and marshmallows, she moans happily. The noise makes Bucky burst into laughter, and despite how much she wants to tell him to shove off for laughing at her, the sound makes her insides go all warm and gooey. Despite being called the Winter Soldier and the grumpy front he puts up in front of most people…Bucky is like sunshine personified more often than he likes to think he is. Or, at least he’s like sunshine to her. And maybe that’s all that matters.

As Bucky wraps one of the many blankets around them, his hand finds hers underneath it, and he gives it a squeeze. “Merry Christmas Y/N. I love you.” He whispers, smiling. Instead of replying with words at first, Y/N kisses him. The kiss is soft at first, but deepens as all the pair’s longing for each other is released. Bucky’s tongue slips between her lips, and the flavours of chocolate, cream and marshmallows dance across their tongues as his stubble brushes against her chin. The kiss is perfect, like a wish come true. And this one is well worth the wait. It’s so good to finally have him home.

“I love you too.” She whispers. “So much.”

Please follow @onceuponastory-library​ and turn on notifications to be notified when I next post!

[rphelperblog]

Friends and Family Rp Meme

inspired by some of my new fave rp blogs @jaymaybnk​ @p0gue4life​ @kierras​ @pogueframed​

@sulsurfer

“Want to take a walk with me?”

“Do you need a hug?”

“Dude, I’m taking you out shopping. No buts.”

“This couch is big enough for the both of us.”

“I stole your __ I hope you don’t mind.”

“Can I hold your hand?”

“There’s nothing wrong with friends holding hands!”

“You look like you could use a hug.”

“My socks look good on you. I wondered where they went.”

“Come here! Cuddle session!”

“Think I can squeeze in there with you?”

“Why did you put that all the way up there?”

“Can you open this for me?”

“Do you need help opening that?”

“Not gonna lie, your clothes look good on me.”

“You look comfy.”

“You look good today!”

“Can I brush your hair?”

“Can you brush my hair?”

“Can you get that for me?”

“I’m wearing your name tag obviously I’m you.”

“This couch is all mine I will push you off if you try sitting on it.”

“Budge up you’re hogging all the room.”

“I know that look- you’re up to no good.”

“Do you know where __ went?”

“I will roll you up in a blanket if you refuse to go to bed.”

“I’m so tired… ”“I don’t want to be alone.”“My hands are shaking.” “Don’t get up. I’m comfortable like this.”

“Please stay. I’d like some company.”

“Could I get a hug?”

“Would you pet my hair?”

“Will you sing something for me?”

“I just want to be close to someone for a little bit. Is that okay?”

“Can I lay my head in your lap?”

“You can touch my hair but don’t mess it up!”

“Here, lay down in my lap.”

“You know, you’re pretty comfy.”

“Come here, ya big lug/small fry.”

“Just take my hand. It’ll be better, I promise.”

“I’m not letting go.”

“I’ll hold you as long as you need.” “It’s okay to stay, you know.”

“I’m so happy you’re here with me.” “Your hugs are warm. We should do this more often.”

❛ remind me why we’re friends again? ❜

❛ you know you can always talk to me. ❜

❛ do you think we’re friends in every universe? ❜

❛ you’re interesting and different and i like that. ❜

❛ i feel like i can tell you anything. “

❛ please don’t ever become a stranger. ❜

❛ i like being alone but i’d rather be alone with you. ❜

❛ you’re important to me, you little shit. ❜❛

 i can always count on you. ❜

❛ here, you can borrow my jacket. ❜

❛ i am this close away from strangling you. ❜

❛ no offense, but you look terrible. ❜

❛ do you think we’ll ever stop being friends? ❜

❛ i found this cool rock that made me think of you. ❜

❛ you can sleep over, it’ll be like when we were kids. ❜

❛ here’s a spare key so you don’t have to keep coming in through the window. ❜

❛ that sounds dangerous. i’m in! ❜

❛ we’re still friends, right? ❜

❛ i don’t have a date, so do you wanna be my plus one? ❜❛ i heard you were feeling sick, so i made you some soup. ❜

❛ i already said i’m paying. you can buy next time, okay? ❜

❛ you’re the best, you know that? ❜

❛ i’m not hitting you, it’s called platonic bdsm. ❜

❛ you’re more family to me than my own family is. ❜

❛ because i like you. because you’re my friend. ❜

❛ i feel like i can be myself around you. ❜

❛ alright, who am i beating up? ❜

❛ you are literally too stupid to insult. ❜

❛ i’m trying to fix your hair, so hold still. ❜

❛ who needs them. we can have fun on our own. ❜

❛ you deserve every good thing that comes your way. ❜

❛ don’t worry, i’ve got your back! ❜

❛ you’re like, the strongest person i know. ❜

❛ friends don’t lie. ❜

❛ don’t make me regret giving you the aux cord. ❜

❛ you can come over any time. it’s not a problem. ❜

❛ i’m glad to have met you. ❜

❛ you remember the day we became friends? ❜

❛ i know, i know. i’m the best. ❜

❛ no one hurts you and gets away with it. ❜

❛ because you love me! duh! ❜

❛ why do you keep me around? ❜

❛ you’re not getting rid of me that easily. ❜

❛ what would you do without me, huh? ❜

❛ thanks. i really needed this. ❜

❛ what are best friends for? ❜

[tameodesza]

Love’s Maze (BretShawn)

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AO3 link

Shawn accepts Bret's invitation, and the night ends as neither man expects

It was nearly midnight when Bret heard a knock on his room door at the hotel. He was beginning to think that Shawn wouldn’t show up as the night progressed. However, he was put at ease upon opening the door to see Shawn standing there with his duffle bag slung on his shoulder and a sheepish smile on his face.

Shawn shrugged, saying, “Things didn’t work out with Scott. So, it looks like we’re rooming tonight if you still want to.”

To which Bret responded all too eagerly, “Oh, yes! Yes, of course. Come in.” It’s not like he’d stayed up past his bedtime waiting for Shawn to come by or something. Nope. Not at all.

“Thanks,” said Shawn.

Shawn made his way into the room, wasting no time making himself comfortable. He left his bag by the door before plopping down on the couch, sighing in satisfaction as he leaned his head back with his eyes closed. It had been a long night and Shawn was so relieved to finally have a place to rest.

Bret followed suit, sitting next to the blond as he said, “So I’m guessing you couldn’t book a room.”

“Nope. The place is full and Scott’s out getting fucked up. So he’s not coming back until much, much later.” Shawn then opened his eyes and turned his head towards Bret. “Are you sure you don’t mind me staying?”

How could Bret ever mind when Shawn was looking up at him with those beautiful eyes?

“It’s fine. I promise,” he said as he held out his pinky finger.

Shawn smiled brightly, looping his own pinky around Bret’s as he said, “Good.”

There was a moment where their gaze lingered, both men smiling softly at each other as the silence of the room served as a constant reminder that they were alone. As short as the moment was, it was enough for both of them to feel something that they weren’t quite ready to make sense of yet.

Shawn was the first to break the tension as he unlinked their hands, clearing his throat before saying, “So you said you wanted to hang out tonight. What does ‘hanging out’ on a Monday night look like for Bret Hart?”

“Um,” Bret didn’t even know the answer to that. “We could watch a movie? Or just talk. Whatever you want to do.”

“Do you ever go out drinking?”

“Eh, it depends. Sometimes, Owen drags me out. But it’s a rare occasion when I go out on my own. I typically stay in.”

“Hmm,” said Shawn inquisitively. “No wonder I barely see you out with the boys.”

Bret nodded, “Yeah. It’s a bit lame, right?”

“No. It’s good. That’s what makes you, you. I would’ve avoided a lot of trouble in the past if I hadn’t gone out drinking so much.”

“Wait, so you’re good with us staying in?”

“Yeah,” said Shawn as he wiggled out of his jacket to get more comfortable. “I’m fine doing whatever, Bret. You name it.”

After throwing out a few ideas, they settled on ordering pizza and watching an old horror movie.

Shawn was glued in on the film, clinging to a pillow in suspense with one hand as he gripped his pizza with the other. Bret glanced over at him every so often, finding Shawn’s antics amusing, especially because the movie wasn’t even that scary.

But unlike Shawn, Bret hadn’t been able to entirely focus on the movie. His mind was clouded with thoughts about what Owen had told him earlier that day.

Was he really fumbling his chance to be with Shawn? Was it the right time to tell the man about his feelings for him?

Bret knew regret would eat him alive if he didn’t at least try to pursue Shawn. But he really didn’t want to jeopardize their friendship. Shawn meant too much to him for him to let that happen.

It was Bret’s hesitation and contemplation that made him hold off a little longer on confessing to Shawn as they continued to watch the movie.

Before he knew it, the movie was over, and Shawn was stretching beside him as he let out an exaggerated yawn. “That was good.”

Bret teased, “How would you know? Your face was behind the pillow the whole time.”

“Hey,” Shawn said in a fake hurt voice, lightly hitting Bret with the pillow in question. “Don’t be rude.”

Bret put his hands up in defense, “Just an observation.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Shawn said flippantly before letting out another yawn. “Sorry, I’m getting sleepy. Think I’m gonna call it a night.”

“It is pretty late. We both could use some rest. I’ll head down to grab some extra blankets. I don’t want to freeze on the couch tonight,” said Bret as he got up from the couch.

Shawn watched in confusion as Bret put on his shoes, saying, “It’s your room. I’ll take the couch.”

Bret responded adamantly, “I invited you. I don’t want you sleeping on the couch, Shawn. I’ll be right back. I’m not sure how long it’ll take, so go ahead and get some rest.”

“Bret-” But Bret was already heading out the door, stifling Shawn’s protest.

Shawn sat there, staring at the door in bewilderment. He knew that Bret was a gentleman, but he had no idea the man would be willing to give up his bed for him. Shawn didn’t feel right about it, but he surely didn’t feel like going back and forth with the older man all night.

So he slowly got up and shrugged out of his jeans and t-shirt before moving the pile of clothes on top of his duffle bag.

Shawn slithered under the covers, letting out a content sigh as he sank down onto the soft mattress knowing that a good night’s sleep awaited him.

Or at least that’s what he intended.

Shawn had a very difficult time falling asleep as countless thoughts raced behind his closed eyes. Most of these thoughts consisted of Bret, more specifically, Shawn’s ever-growing feelings towards the man.

He was annoyed at himself for not being able to ignore it, constantly asking himself why. Why couldn’t he just allow himself to enjoy their friendship?

What they had was simple. It was safe. It was comfortable. Falling for Bret, not even knowing if the older man liked him back, would only make things more complicated.

Shawn curled into himself, thoughts consuming him like a starved parasite as he desperately tried to shut off his brain.

  Bret came back to the room about 15 minutes later with fresh sheets. He closed the door softly behind him before walking towards the couch quietly in an effort to not make any noise, not knowing that the blond was fully awake, head peeking out of the comforter as he looked at Bret.

Bret set the sheets down before turning around to tug off his shirt and pants, leaving on only his boxers.

Shawn tried his best to look elsewhere, but his eyes were instantly drawn to Bret’s chiseled chest and toned legs once the man turned back towards him.

Although they’d already seen each other in the bare minimum, it was something about seeing Bret outside of his ring gear, casually wearing nothing but boxers and socks, that made the moment feel more intimate.

Shawn had to force himself to turn around, not wanting to have another stiff problem in the morning.

After putting away his clothes, Bret unraveled the sheets and grabbed a pillow from the bed before turning off all of the lights. “Good night, Shawn,” he whispered after settling onto the couch.

Shawn didn’t answer, which Bret assumed was because the younger man was already asleep. However, about five minutes later, he heard the sound of Shawn moving briskly against the sheets. Bret didn’t think anything of it until he heard Shawn shuffle in the sheets again a few moments later.

It was after the third time that Bret heard Shawn let out a frustrated huff as he shoved the comforter off of his upper body. A few seconds of silence floated in the air until Shawn whispered, “Bret?”

With his eyes still closed, Bret tilted his head in Shawn’s direction, answering, “Hm?”

“Are you up?”

“I’m talking, aren’t I?” The smart comment would’ve made Shawn laugh in any other circumstance, but he wasn’t in a joking mood.

“I can’t sleep.”

Bret furrowed a brow as he whispered back, “Why not?”

Shawn paused. “I- Can you just come up here?”

That was enough to make Bret’s eyes shoot open, attempting to get a good look at the blond in the dark room.

Shawn wanted him in the bed? With him?

“What? Shawn, I don’t know-”

“It’s just…I feel bad that you’re sleeping on some uncomfy hotel couch. There’s plenty of room up here for the both of us.”

Well, that was half of the truth. Yes, Shawn did feel bad about stealing Bret’s bed. However, his request stemmed from something deeper.

Ever since breaking up with Marty, Shawn always had a difficult time falling asleep since he wasn’t used to going to bed alone.

It wasn’t as much of an issue when he roomed with Scott. The man allowed Shawn to cuddle with him, no questions asked. Scott knew that Shawn wasn’t doing it to hit on him, but because it really did help him fall asleep.

But since Scott was out partying that night, Shawn didn’t have him as an option.

“I promise you, I’m fine. I’ve slept in worse places.”

“Bret,” Shawn pleaded. “Please.”

The urgency in Shawn’s voice was enough to cause concern. But as concerned as Bret was, he had his own reasons as to why he didn’t want to share a bed with Shawn – the main reason being that he didn’t trust himself being so close to the man in such a private setting.

But with Shawn basically begging him, who was he to say no?

“Ok, ok. I’m coming up.”

Shawn felt relieved when the bed shifted behind him, his breathing already beginning to even out now that a familiar presence was near him.

Bret made a conscious effort to keep a respectful distance between them, but after a few silent minutes had passed, he felt Shawn shift closer, the blond’s back now pressed firmly against Bret’s chest.

Bret went still, afraid of how his body would react if he moved too suddenly. Shawn let out another content sigh as he felt Bret’s warm skin pressed onto his back.

Realizing that he was probably making Bret uncomfortable, Shawn turned around, facing Bret as he laid his head beside the man’s shoulder. “Is this ok,” Shawn whispered.

Bret thought he should be the one asking Shawn that question. He answered, “Yeah. Is-” Bret stopped himself before deciding to go ahead, “Is this ok?” He asked as he placed a hand gently onto Shawn’s waist.

A blush quickly made its way onto Shawn’s face, which luckily Bret could barely see in the dark. Shawn answered softly, “Yes.”

Bret then tightened the hold, bringing Shawn closer to him. He had no idea what was going on or why it was happening, but he wasn’t going to question it.

Bret then heard Shawn ask, “Is it ok if I lay my head on your chest?” Shawn knew he was pushing his limits, hoping that Bret wouldn’t literally kick him out of the bed.

But he was pleasantly surprised to hear Bret say, “Go for it.” Bret only hoped that Shawn didn’t pick up on the sound of his quickening heart rate.

Shawn shifted closer, placing his head on Bret’s chest as he sighed, “You’re so warm.”

Bret trailed a hand lightly up Shawn’s lower back, causing the younger man’s heart to quicken as well. “You too,” said Bret.

With both men finally settled in, they went quiet for a while, enjoying the feeling of being wrapped around each other. They’ve hugged plenty of times as friends. But this felt different, their close embrace seeming to affect them in ways it never had before.

And with Shawn so close and the mood feeling right, Bret felt like now was the time to tell Shawn what he’d been wanting to for so long. “Shawn,” Bret whispered, hoping the younger man hadn’t fallen asleep yet.

Shawn tilted his head up in Bret’s direction, the older man looking down into Shawn’s eyes as they twinkled in the moonlight. God, he’s so beautiful, thought Bret.

“Hmm,” Shawn asked.

“I, um, I-” and just like that, Bret lost his confidence. “Never mind.”

Just as Bret was turning his head to look away, he felt Shawn’s hand resting on his cheek, guiding his face back down to his.

With Bret looking down at him, lips just a breath away, Shawn moved forward, softly kissing Bret on the lips. Bret quickly reciprocated as he pressed his lips firmly against Shawn’s, the kiss turning into sensual, light pecks.

Shawn was the first to pull away, slightly panting as he rested his head onto Bret’s. Bret was panting just as heavily as he tried to catch his breath and calm his pounding heart.

“Shawn-” But he was cut off by the motion of Shawn shaking his head ‘no.’

Shawn settled back onto Bret’s chest, fully relaxing as snuggled closer to the man before whispering, “Thank you. For being here.”

Bret nodded, hoping Shawn felt it because he didn’t trust his voice at the moment.

Bret had so many questions. Questions that Shawn didn’t seem ready to answer.

What did the kiss mean? Did Shawn like him? Did this mean he had a chance with the blond? Did it mean nothing at all?

Bret wrapped his arms tighter around Shawn as the blond’s breathing slowed to a steady rhythm. Bret stayed up a little bit longer, sleep being harder to find as their kiss replayed in his head on a constant loop.

[freyjathelynx]

i’m not really sure if i get “community”.

it’s not that i don’t respect the efforts everyone puts into having one. it’s kinda beautiful how people work so hard to make sure other people are kept safe and included. the term itself just feels… watered down, representing the loosest forms of social association.

take the average discord “community”. what really binds them together, especially anything larger than, say, 100 people at most — some cultural icon, a loose identity status, a meme, a video game? i run two public discords, both of which are healthy and have many active users, but i can hardly call them “community” in the sense that i think these people are bonded.

i think about old queer associations a lot. i’ve been thinking about it tonight, reading about early queer publications and raids on gay bars, and how they were the main ways of queer expression back then. we live in times with far greater access to queerness — we’re broadly more accepted, technology gives us queers at our fingertips, and yet it’s not hard to feel lonely. certainly i wouldn’t wish to go back to the time of the lavender scare, but i can’t help but feel like as queer people become more normalized the idea of “community” among us inevitably will break down.

it’s not hard to imagine why, in my opinion. association solely based on common traits is the most fickle — human nature loves to divide and categorize individuals, and this isn’t even uniquely negative. we’re not naturally inclined to think so abstractly — pack animals at nature, we’re always willing to bow to the tides of social pressure even when it might not be a sound idea.

the viciousness people try to leverage what little social power they have in any “community” may never go away. it feels inevitable. it doesn’t help i feel largely disconnected from my own queerness due to things as simple as not liking a lot of the things “queer people” are into, at least in a stereotypical sense.

when i moved to san francisco i quickly tried my hand at getting into the “trans community” here so i could meet friends and find that community so many promise. i found out a lot out that community is locked behind a few social events that are living hell for an autistic dweeb like me. loud lesbian bars with EDM just aren’t my speed — my attempts at participating in this “community” ended mostly in regret, overstim, and retreating into my little turtle shell like every time i tried to reach out throughout my developing years. that’s not to say i didn’t ever successfully meet people and find connections, but that i just didn’t find “community” like i promised. the gateway events feel not aimed at queers, but a section of queers, ones interested in things i have no desire to partake in. this same thing happens with furries too — much of it is centered around cons which i just have very little appetite for despite my attempts at going to them since i started my adult life after college. the only community i really feel a real part of, even slightly, is one forged entirely within my extended polycule, and even that feels precarious given that i feel substantially different to many of my partners and metamours.

i feel like a social vagrant often. floating between different places and not feeling accepted wherever i go. i know part of it is me getting in my own way, im sure of it, but you’d feel like at some point someone would just try pulling you in, yeah?

at the end of the day most “community” feels like adhoc friend groups with some pizazz applied. this has happened in the past, happens now, and may never stop happening. people will always use each other for clout. “communities” in name only will serve to perpetuate hustle and certain social interests, never just association on an inherent trait.

am I just too neurodivergent for socializing? am I so much an alien I am doomed to a life of bouncing between people who all seem more capable of “community” than me? am i just the problem? or is community in of itself a problem?

for neurotypicals i imagine “common interest” groups work well. going to disc golf saturdays with the boys probably builds strong friendships. as a neurodivergent person i find those groups scary — not just because of my general anxiety, but because of my past trauma trying to fit into neurotypical life and failing to.

i want this idea of community so many of us are convinced exists, but its so hard to see the proof. i would love a community founded on mutual love and respect, one inclusive of people with all sensory needs, one based on interest in each other and not board games or intoxicated clubbing. i guess thats why im so into polyamory — it feels like my only legitimate venue for social attention that doesn’t give me panic attacks just for existing in.

do i dislike these events because i just don’t vibe with them? or is it just a fear of rejection? i have no idea. i’d like to see a therapist and hash this out but they’re so expensive and i’m so unsmployed.

i hope that community is out there. it doesn’t need to be perfect, but it needs to be better than i’ve experienced. am i just expecting too much? do i just not do enough for myself? what do i need to do to not feel like an outcast even among my own kin?

[luverofralts]

Arkhelios Adventures

"Hey, things will work out. It's just taking more time than we thought. This project is going to succeed."

Adrian gave his ex-husband a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder, trying to sound optimistic. Roman was currently in the middle of an existential crisis, spiraling out of control thinking of just how much money they were losing. Even with the entire Bellamy family pitching in to help, the restaurant wasn't profitable. All of their hard work so far had been for nothing.

"We have no way to turn this place around," Roman sighed. "I can't ask you to put more of your own money into this, you and Evren have a family to take care of, same as me. I'll-I'll get a job of my own and start to pay off the debt. I could read cards just like my grandmother. She always made a decent living from it."

"You're not reading cards if you don't want to," Adrian snapped. "The father of my children is never going to have to worry about money. I promised you that when we got married and I'm not about to break that promise anytime soon. As long as it's your dream to have a restaurant, I'm going to help you make it a reality. We're family and family doesn't quit when things get hard."

Roman smiled at Adrian's kindness despite his churning emotions. Adrian was far too good a man to have ever been married to him. Roman thought about how they'd exchanged vows as young adults on the beach while his heart was still stuck on dreaming about Abe. How even when they planned to get divorced, Adrian was trying to figure out how he could still be involved in his stepson's life. Family meant a great deal to the Siews. Maura, Trent and Adrian were devoted to their families above all else, especially now that so much of the royal family had been lost in tragedy. Maura had responded to The Incident with Ulyssa by pulling her family even closer to her, and Adrian and Evren had adopted all of Roman's children into their lives despite Roman's marriage to Abe. If anything, people often mistook the four men as a polycule of sorts, given how devoted they were to raising their combined children together. Roman could attest to the fact that Adrian and Evren were nowhere near his bedroom in any way. That was a line none of the men wanted to cross. Still, their combined children treated each other like siblings and both couples as authority figures. 

"We'll see," Roman sighed at last. "I know that you're not going to change your mind until the paychecks start bouncing, but we may need an exit strategy here. You can't run your estate into the ground for my sake. Luciana needs to inherit your title and all the resources we can give her, as well as the other kids. I never wanted your money for myself; it's all for the kids."

"Trust me, I've got it covered," Adrian replied. "My parents left large estates and millions of dollars when they died and Maura has been generous."

"I know, I used to run your estate," Roman said quickly. Bringing up Adrian's death and the years Roman had spent running his estate was still a sensitive subject. "I know what they left you. And Maura…I wouldn't trust her kindness forever. She, rightfully, isn't my biggest fan these days. She might take out her anger on you one day."

"Yeah, that whole thing with Ulyssa wasn't your finest hour. It was like watching a train derail in excruciating detail. Even for you it was bad."

"Gee,  thanks." Roman bristled at the rebuke, even if it was well deserved. If even Adrian couldn't get past Roman's mistake with Ulyssa, what hope did he have of ever standing near Maura without worrying that her guards would haul him off to a dungeon at any time? "I regret it enough without the constant reminders. It's in the past."

Adrian remained quiet for a moment, inwardly debating about whether to ask the question that had been rolling around his head for a while now.

"Ulyssa…Her Highness, that is…did you two…well I know when we were together we…."

"What are you asking me?" Roman replied, his voice growing colder when he thought about where this question might be going.

"Princess Georgiana, she's-"

"None of my business," Roman snapped, cutting his ex off before the words could be said out loud. "Princess Georgiana is Ulyssa and the queen's daughter. I was told that she isn't mine and that I'm not to ask about her. So I don't."

Adrian could see the pain in Roman's eyes when he spoke and he had his answer. Evren was right after all. Maura was hiding something from her cousin as best as she could. Unfortunately for her, DNA couldn’t be hidden.

"Roman, I'm so sorry. I never thought, until dinner last week at the palace…I mean, she has your eyes. She looked right at me and it was just like staring at Theo. I…I'll talk to Maura. I promise, I'll talk to her."

"Don't," Roman sighed, rubbing the tears threatening to form in his eyes. "It's fine. It's what I deserve. Anyway, let's just focus on my current failure, shall we? At least this one I have some control over." 

"No, this is a big deal," Adrian insisted, staring intently at his ex. "Does Abe know?"

"Of course he knows!" Roman snapped. "Seriously, I'm not having this conversation unless there's a drink in my hand, Adrian, preferably never. Forget about it. I have."

The sound of laughter rang out down the hall, jarring Roman from his thoughts. 

"Theo, say goodbye to your friend. It's late and I'm sure his family is missing him. Clean up your workspace, we're going home soon."

Adrian locked the front door as Roman prodded his son into cleaning up the cash register area, his mind still racing with Roman's revelation. Maura had seemed different the past few years with the stress of ruling while simultaneously grieving their lost family members and working on her damaged marriage. Plus being thrown into motherhood earlier than she'd planned to secure an heir. It had been a turbulent few years for his cousin, so it was only natural that Maura might have been changed a little by her circumstances. Still, this hidden family secret bothered him. Maura was under no obligation to tell Adrian about her daughter's paternity, but it wasn't like her. Before his death, Adrian hadn't really been close to his cousin, but upon his revival, she had confided in him often- there hadn't been a lot of family members left to confide her fears to. If Maura was hiding a daughter with a complicated paternity, what else was she hiding from her family? Was she ever going to admit that Adrian had a secret stepdaughter or was he supposed to just ignore the fact that the young princess looked like the spitting image of his ex-husband? If he had noticed, then who else would? Would other countries sense weakness in the royal family and attack?

It was all too much to think about and Roman had shut down any talk on the issue pretty quickly. If Maura was lying and Roman was in denial, then Adrian wasn’t getting any more information on the matter any time soon. If Roman wasn’t involved in the situation, Adrian might have been tempted to ask him to read his cards to see how to proceed. Their daughter, Adrianne, was far more talented at card reading, but he didn’t want her involved in case the cards revealed more than he wanted them to. He would talk things over with Evren then. Evren would know what to do.

[solartranslations]

AF2 Donna Route 1/14: Sealing the Tarocco

Our fate…is in our own hands. And to prove that…

~*Scene: Conference Room*~

Mondo: The seat of Papa will go to…

Felicita: Wait, Papa!!

Mondo: What?

Felicita: It’s too early to decide that

Mondo: You’re being stubborn

Felicita: You can end this at any time

Luca: Ojou-sama…

Felicita: So let me try first

Nova: Felicita…

Felicita: I spoke with Neve before dealing with Acqua Tempesta

Debito: …

Felicita: We can always fight for what’s important to us

Pace: Ojou…

Felicita: This is the time to fight

Dante: Ojou-san…

Felicita: I won’t do anything risky. So please just give me some time

Felicita: Papa said that it’s his responsibility for unsealing the Tarocco…

Felicita: But I think Mama and Liberta’s bruises are because I used the Wheel of Fortune

Mondo: ……

Felicita: Just let me do what I can

Felicita: So you and the Family won’t have any regrets

Jolly: …Hm

Liberta: Papa, I want to help Ojou, too

Ash: Well, I guess there’s no point in debating whether she’s right

Ash: But Strawberry Head does make a moving speech

Sumire: Mondo…I think our daughter truly has surpassed you

Mondo: She has

Mondo: I’ll give you a chance

Mondo: Felicita, you do make a point

Mondo: I can end it at any time

(*pat) Mondo: You’ve grown

~*Scene: Felicita’s Room*~

(*knock knock)

Luca: Ojou-sama

Ash: Coming in

Felicita: Luca, Ash… What are you doing here?

Luca: Sorry for the intrusion. I’m sure you must be gathering your thoughts

Luca: But perhaps we could help you in some way

Ash: Talking to people can often give you more ideas

Ash: And we’re experts in this department

Felicita: Thank you

Ash: But you’ve got a rough idea, right? You sounded way too confident back there to not have a plan

Felicita: ……

>I don’t. I was going to ask Gli Amanti

>I wonder if we can use the properties of the Tarocco

Luca: Ojou-sama… were we wrong to think you’ve grown?

Felicita: But, it’s still something only I can do

Ash: It’s not a bad idea, but I think it’s too unreliable. Wouldn’t your dad cry to hear that?

Luca: The Tarocco’s…properties?

Ash: What properties?

Felicita: I’m still thinking

Ash: That’s not promising

Felicita: I was thinking about why Gli Amanti would always tell me things

Felicita: But Fortuna has never spoken to me

Luca: I see. La Temperanza has never spoken to me either

Ash: Same here

Felicita: Gli Amanti keeps saying that they want me to stay their host

Felicita: I still don’t know why I have two Tarocco, but this might be a lead

Ash: Maybe it’s just genetic. The Tarocco could just like your type

Luca: Right… I think that’s possible

Luca: The Tarocco chooses their hosts. And you were chosen by two of them, Ojou-sama

Felicita: Let’s say I tried to form a new contract. What would happen?

Ash: Has it been tried before?

Luca: Right…

Luca: Debito, Pace, and I were made to try it many times, but we never could contract another card

Luca: But why that…?

Felicita: Vir wants to seal Neve’s Star Tarocco. That’s why he wants to kill Papa

Felicita: What if we no longer had a reason to?

Ash: You mean he won’t kill him if he doesn’t have a reason to?

Luca: Even if that was possible, it’s only buying time

Luca: We still can’t seal the World Tarocco

Felicita: Right. We have to figure that out

Fukurota: Hoot!

Ash: Hey, isn’t she telling you to sleep, Strawberry Head?

Luca: Ah, it sure is getting late

Felicita: Yeah. Let’s talk more tomorrow

Ash: Okay. We should ask Jolly too

Luca: Ojou-sama, I do have one request

Felicita: What?

Luca: Even if you find out something from Gli Amanti in your dreams tonight, please don’t take any action on your own

Luca: Just promise me that

Felicita: Alright

Felicita: That’s why you came here, right?

Ash: You’re so overprotective

Luca: Say whatever you like

Luca: I know that Ojou-sama has grown, but she can still be reckless so I had to caution her

Felicita: I know

Felicita: Buona notte

(*door closes)

Felicita: (I wonder why the Tarocco need human hosts)

Felicita: (And why did Vir create the Tarocco?)

Felicita: (Will I find out if I ask?)

Felicita: (…I have so many questions)

Felicita: (If only everyone’s Tarocco could go back to how they were…)

Felicita: (Back in one spot…)

Felicita: (Like maybe if we could move them all to me…)

Felicita: (But there’s no way that’s possible)

Felicita: (If it was like my Wheel of Fortune…)

Felicita: (Then Gli Amanti could use my love to activate their powers)

Felicita: (Can all the Tarocco be sealed inside me?)

Felicita: (…But that’d be too easy…)

Felicita: (And, even if it was possible…)

Gli Amanti: [My dear host, your idea isn’t too far off]

Gli Amanti: [I’m impressed that you came up with that. Surprsingly, you think similarily to our creator]

Gli Amanti: [You’re incredibly pure-hearted, filled with love, and foolish]

Gli Amanti: [If that’s what you want to try, I’ll lend you power. I’m sure it would be interesting]

Gli Amanti: [All of the Tarocco hosts love you deeply. And the Tarocco are influenced by their hosts]

Gli Amanti: [You could very well, lead them all]

Gli Amanti: [We still see you as a suitable host]

Gli Amanti: [Offer your blood, and the others may just transfer themselves to you]

Gli Amanti: [At this point, you may even be able to host the World]

Gli Amanti: [What will you do, my host?]

Gli Amanti: [You have much to protect. But—]

Felicita: I also have a lot to lose?

Felicita: The choice…lies with me

>Accept Papa’s decision

>Contract the Tarocco

Felicita: It doesn’t look like I can keep my promise with Papa…

Felicita: But to sacrifice Papa…

Felicita: —I’ve always been protected, so now it’s my turn to protect him!

(Choose again)

(Continue below)

Felicita: I’m not being manipulated by Gli Amanti, am I?

Felicita: But we’ve been together for so long, that doesn’t matter anymore

Felicita: I agree with Gli Amanit’s suggestion

Felicita: To protect those important to me

Felicita: And my own heart

Felicita: I’ll decide my own path

~*Scene: Mondo’s Office*~

Mondo: You want to contract the Tarocco!?

Felicita: Since I’m telling you first, you should know how serious I am

Sumire: …I think you should do as you see fit

Sumire: How about you, Mondo?

Mondo: I…

Felicita: …

Mondo: …

~*End of Scene*~

(Continue to Donna ED 2)

(Back to Directory)

[neon-danger]

Drabble requests.. 👀

Jack decides to talk to Alex about the stage kisses they have been having on the last tour because more than once Alex has turned and kissed him on the mouth and usually stage kisses in the past haven’t been reciprocated.

It’s been happening a lot, Jack’s noticed.

It started as stage banter, Jack would kiss Alex on the cheek, then go back to his side of the stage like nothing happened.

But then Alex started to turn to meet Jack’s lips.

Then the kisses got longer, and longer, and more intense.

Once they had a full blown make out session with tongue and everything.

It’s been eating away at Jack, getting more and more obvious with each passing set. Until one day, it stops.

Alex doesn’t turn to meet him. He just goes right back into the next verse, and Jack goes back to his side of the stage.

Except this time, it feels like a big deal.

After the set, Jack stops Alex, just before he exists the stage. He nods toward the hallway, the universal signal for “come with me.”

Alex follows, curious but not anxiously so. Jack often asks Alex to meet him after the set, usually for drinks or to meet some guy promising free weed.

The weed is never actually free, and if it is, it’s not good weed.

But Alex remains curious nonetheless.

They end up outside, just behind the venue. There’s no drinks or any dudes selling giving away free weed.

Just Jack and Alex, which immediately tells Alex something is seriously wrong.

“Can I ask you something?” Is never a good sign, especially not from Jack. Jack will usually just blurt out whatever question with no regard for context or anything, so when he asks, it means it’s really serious.

Alex responds with a simple, “Yeah, of course,” but what he really wants to ask is “What’s wrong?”

“It’s just, well… we’ve been kissing on stage a lot, and that’s cool and all, I don’t mind, it’s kind of nice, but today you didn’t kiss back like usual. I just wanted to make sure everything was okay.” Jack waits then, hoping Alex will understand the silent question that remains unasked.

Suddenly thankful for the darkness outside, Alex flushes, quickly regretting every decision he’s ever made until now.

His answer could make or break his relationship with Jack, platonic or otherwise.

“Oh, well uh…” It’s not that there’s anything wrong, it’s that Alex is prone to this stupid little thing called feelings and he’s trying to save them both the hassle.

“It’s okay if you don’t want me to kiss you on stage anymore,” Jack says casually, though a small part of him is dying inside. “It’s really not a big deal.”

Why does that phrase feel like a punch to the gut?

“It’s not that…” Alex isn’t really sure what he should say, or if he should say anything at all. “It’s kind of the opposite actually.”

Jack blinks, confused now. “You.. want me to keep kissing you?” But then why would Alex suddenly stop acknowledging Jack when he does it?

Alex nods, adrenaline coursing through him as his heart pounds in his chest. “Yeah, actually,” he continues. “Maybe offstage too.”

Too bold! Abort! Abort! Abort!

Now Jack is really confused. “But… why? I mean, that’s cool too, I don’t mind, but we don’t really have to entertain fans offstage.”

Oh, he’s real dumb then.

“Dammit, Jack, I’m trying to tell you I like you!”

The younger man startles, but only because of Alex’s sudden shift in tone. “Well, yeah, obviously, we’re best friends. I like you too-“

“Fuck, you’re dense.” So Alex gets forgets trying to explain it, and attempts to show Jack instead. He grabs the guitarist by the collar of his shirt and pulls him in for a real kiss, all messy and heated and everything Alex was too scared to show him during the set.

Then they both stumble away, eyeing each other like a pair of wolves, circling each other, waiting for the other to attack first.

They pause for a moment, just processing what this would mean for them, for the band.

Then they’re kissing again, like none of it ever mattered to begin with.

[starseedfxofficial]

The Hidden Edge: Trend Following Meets Broadening Formation If you’ve ever had that sinking feeling of watching your Forex trade go against you – like buying a one-size-fits-all outfit that fits absolutely nobody – welcome to the club. Today, we’re talking about how not to get fitted for regret. Enter: Trend Following with a side of Broadening Formation, also known as the “Market Doesn’t Know Itself” pattern. The trend-following strategy with a broadening formation isn't your average Joe trading move. It’s an advanced approach, one that calls for laser precision and a little market wizardry. Stick around, and we'll uncover the hidden secrets of broadening formations and how they can make your trend-following strategy bulletproof. And if you’re thinking, "Trend following is like a bad ex that comes and goes," you’re partly right – but I promise, there’s a happy ending if you know what to do. Unpacking the Chaos: What on Earth is a Broadening Formation? Have you ever heard of a market pattern that looks like it’s stretching before an Olympic sprint? Broadening formations do just that – imagine a market price moving in wider and wider swings, leaving your average trader looking like they’re trying to catch an off-leash dog. These formations hint at increased volatility, and while most traders see chaos, trend followers find opportunities. Broadening formations, like the ones seen on top-down breakouts, signal an expansion in price volatility – which means a potential setup for capturing large price movements. Traders can visualize this pattern as a reverse megaphone, and if used correctly, it’s a pattern that can unlock extraordinary trend opportunities. It’s as if the market is just waiting for someone bold enough to ride the wave it’s throwing out. Why Most Traders Get It Wrong (And How You Can Avoid It) Broadening formations often confuse traders because they defy the predictable in-and-out style many have gotten used to. Instead of nicely hugging a trendline, the price bounces wider, challenging you to look for rhythm amidst chaos. It’s like trying to predict a squirrel’s next jump. Many traders take one look at the broadening formation, panic, and click out – kind of like that overenthusiastic click on the “sell” button we all regret. But here’s where the real magic happens: Broadening formations reveal when price action is getting serious about a trend continuation – or a reversal. Instead of running, embrace it. Learn to trust the broader swings as a cue that a trend following setup is forming. Picture it as the market warming up before the real sprint. The Hidden Formula Only Experts Use Experts know that with trend following, it’s not about beating the market at every small move; it’s about riding the big waves that most people are too scared to catch. Trend following combined with broadening formations becomes a two-part dance: (1) First, identify where these exaggerated price swings suggest a reversal is imminent. (2) Next, follow that trend with the confidence of a shark sensing opportunity. One proven technique is the "Swing and Stick" approach: Wait for that moment when the price – after creating a series of exaggerated highs and lows – sticks to the direction it’s found. It’s a balancing act between caution and action, but when you catch it, it’s like capturing lightning in a bottle. Are You Falling for These Common Myths? Myth #1: Broadening formations are inherently bearish. Many novice traders look at this expansive pattern and think, "Sell, sell, sell!" But in truth, it’s not always a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of indecision, and often that can lead to the most powerful bullish reversals. Myth #2: Volatility is bad. We get it – volatility can make the market feel as calm as juggling flaming knives. But, for trend followers, broadening formations signal when to get excited. It’s not just chaos; it’s energy that’s about to release, and if you’re in the right place, you’re on for a thrilling ride. How to Ride a Broadening Formation Like a Pro Step 1: Spot the Pattern - Look for at least three consecutive higher highs and lower lows. Remember, this pattern’s all about volatility on a bender. It needs to spread its wings, so be patient while spotting it. Step 2: Look for a Catalyst - Trend following with a broadening formation means watching for fundamental news that could trigger movement in favor of the trend. Check those economic indicators (which, by the way, you can find on StarseedFX's Forex News Today). Knowing what’s influencing the market gives you an advantage over those waiting on “fate.” Step 3: Strategize with Risk Management - You’ll never be right every time, but if you’ve got a risk management plan – such as the StarseedFX Free Trading Plan, you’re already ahead. The broadening formation thrives on volatility; ensure your stops are logically placed and provide room for the pattern to complete. Step 4: Initiate the Trade - The trend emerges as the price breaks out of the broadening structure. Go with it, placing your entry in line with the breakout direction. It’s like the market’s given you a signal: "Let’s go!" The Game-Changing Insights: Why Trend Following with Broadening Formations is a Trader’s Hidden Gem - Increased Profit Opportunities: The wide price swings mean you’re not just trading pennies – you’re swinging for real price action that matters. - Advanced Setup for a Trend Reversal or Continuation: Depending on the swing's result, broadening formations can indicate strong reversals or continuations – it’s your job to position yourself for the ride. - Test the Fear and Win: Broadening formations often look intimidating, but knowing what you're dealing with can put you ahead of most traders who shy away at first glance. Real Traders, Real Results According to John Bollinger, creator of the famous Bollinger Bands, “Broadening formations are like flashing beacons that something is brewing – volatility isn’t the enemy. It’s a signpost for traders with courage.” That courage can separate those who make real progress from those forever chasing shadows. Take trader example Chris H. from StarseedFX’s community. He once shared how a broadening formation tipped him off to a trend reversal during a wild NZDUSD swing. After understanding the tell-tale signals, he confidently entered the reversal trend, profiting significantly as others hesitated. Wrap-Up: Mastering Trend Following with Broadening Formations Broadening formations are the market's way of signaling potential opportunities that are often missed by those playing it safe. They offer the type of volatility trend followers thrive on. By taking the time to understand this pattern – and viewing it not as chaos, but as strategic expansion – you position yourself on the right side of the trade. So, are you ready to stop running from the squirrel and ride the wave of expanding volatility like a pro? Start by diving deeper into advanced techniques and the resources we offer at StarseedFX. —————– Image Credits: Cover image at the top is AI-generated Read the full article

[rustedhearts]

send her my love (boxer!steve x fem!librarian!reader)

summary: a series of letters written after your recent breakup with steve, recounting your time apart.

uses she/her pronouns and female anatomy.

♡ the king of the ring ♡ main masterlist

tags: angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, mushy-gushy-lovey-dovey love letters.

a/n: pretty self explanatory, but libby’s letters are in pink, steve’s are in black ♡

“…how it hurt so bad to see her cry. i didn’t want to say goodbye. send her my love, memories remain. send her my love, roses never fade.”

—send her my love, journey

december 1992—march 1993

♡ ♡

12/05/92

Dear Libby,

Dear god I hope you open this. My hands are shaking so bad around the pen that I’m sure it’ll be all scratchy and shit, but I hope you know that I’m trying. I know how much you love letters, and after you stopped picking up my calls a few weeks ago…I figured this was the best way to reach you.

It’s been almost a month since we last saw each other. I hate thinking about that day. I hate thinking about you crying, and crying because of me. Because of something I did. I want you to know that I take full accountability for what I did, my love. That’s a word they said I should use more often. Accountability. “They” would be Big and Mikey. When they heard about what happened…I don’t think I’ve ever seen either of them so mad. I think, for a moment, Big thought about coming out of retirement just to kick my ass into next year.

I patched up the wall myself. It was my mess to clean. The house seems so big and empty without you. I never realized it echoed before.

I don’t blame you for going home, baby. I know you’ve been wanting to go for a while. I know I drove you away. Pushed you away. I was so terrible to you and I see that now. I’m so sorry it took something so awful for me to see it. But you were right. I’m just like my father. And I needed someone to tell me that so I could realize how fucking stupid and awful I’ve been.

I hope you don’t mind that I used some of your stationary to write this to you. You left it on the desk downstairs. The shelves came in for your books and I put them up. Maybe when you come home, we can fill them up. I’ll buy you all the books in the world, my girl.

I’m sorry. Please know that.

Love,

Steve.

♡ ♡

12/10/92

Steve,

I was surprised to receive your letter. When I stopped answering and your calls stopped coming, I assumed we were done for good. I wasn’t sure how to feel about that. Despite my every want to feel the opposite, I’m still so terribly in love with you that my head hurts every waking moment of the day. I ache with it. Now that we’re apart, it bleeds. It has nowhere to go. I have nowhere to put it. But this was your doing, Steven. I don’t want you to forget that.

We both said terrible things that day, but what you did was unforgivable. You promised from the start to never raise a hand against me in anger. You promised to never become the thing you hated. I took your word as bond, and perhaps that was my mistake. Perhaps that’s my grievance to regret.

I miss you terribly, but this time apart will be good for us. It’s what we need. I’ve been away from home since I was 19. My brother stands taller than me. His voice is so much deeper than when I left. They’re getting computers at the library soon. Everything is so different, yet it all still seems the same. But even these tiny differences make me realize how long I’ve been away.

It’s snowing here in Hawkins and I helped mom put up the Christmas lights. Nick and I had a snowball fight. I felt ten years old again. Mom made hot chocolate and we watched Charlie Brown. I know how much you love Charlie Brown’s Christmas. But in that moment, I felt wonderfully calm. I felt okay. I felt happy.

And it made me wonder…were we happy, Steve? Or have we been pretending for too long?

I’m glad my shelves came. Use them for your trophies.

XO,

Libby

♡ ♡

12/14/92

Libby,

I can’t tell you how happy I was to get your letter in the mail. I’ve been scared to open it for the past two days. But the thought of going a moment more without knowing what you said would kill me. I can hear your voice so clearly when I read your words.

I’ll never forget what I did that day, Libby. It will always be a reminder of how awful I’ve become. And it will always be a reminder of who I don’t want to be ever again.

I know it doesn’t mean much now since I’m a few months too late, but I’m talking to someone. A shrink or whatever. Big recommended him. Apparently he specializes in “anger issues.” You know how I feel about sitting down and whining about my problems, but…I don’t know. Maybe it’ll help. If it turns me back into the man you loved then I’ll sit on that couch and talk for days.

You asked if we were pretending, and for me at least, I never pretended for a moment. There wasn’t a second that went by that I didn’t love you with every ounce of my being. I’m sorry if you felt you had to pretend. I’m sorry that you weren’t happy, and if you give me the chance, I’ll do my best to make you happy this time around.

No amount of trophies or champion belts in the world could make up for the loss of you, my angel. Please know that and believe it.

Yours,

Steve

♡ ♡

12/22/92

Steve,

I hate the way your words make my heart pound. All that love is still so strong, and it’s all still festering in me. But the heartache is just as powerful. The heartache is just as real.

I cannot give you a second chance just yet. I don’t think we’ve quite earned it. I don’t think we’ve yet reached a point where we’re both okay—on our own. I want to be okay even without you. I fear I’ve become so reliant on you to tell me where life will go, because my life has revolved around your own. I’ve never found my own path to wander. I want that opportunity now.

I went to the Hideout tonight. A Christmas party with some friends. I haven’t felt that young in years, Steve. I’m only 22.

Merry Christmas, Steve. And happy New Year.

XO,

Libby

♡ ♡

1/3/93

Libby,

Christmas was lonely without you. Mikey invited me to his "bachelor pad" in L.A for a "booze fest" (all his words). Gargling gravel sounded like a better time. For a minute, I thought maybe it might be good to get out. To be my own person, like you said. But everything just feels so dull now.

I thought about mailing your present, but I figured you'd just get upset. I want to respect your space and our time apart. My shrink says I have to find more time for other people's wants and needs instead of just prioritizing my own. Is that what I've been doing, Libby? Is that what I've always done?

I guess I kinda did. Took you away from the library and your home. I just wanted you with me all the time. I couldn’t imagine getting through that first string of fights without you. I don’t think I’d be the fighter I am today if I didn’t have you there.

I guess I’m talking about “me” a lot again. I’m sorry I do that.

I hope your Christmas was nice. Hope it snowed the way you like.

Love,

Steve

♡ ♡

1/28/93

Libby,

I haven’t heard from you all month. I thought I’d reach out again. For a few days, I had myself convinced my letter got lost in the mail. I waited for a “return to sender” to come. I think I would’ve preferred the honest rejection to your silence. It’s been so quiet here, my girl. I miss the sound of your voice in our home.

The fights mean nothing anymore. I won the Russell fight last week and felt nothing. Ever since you left, victory tastes stale. The referees declare the winner and I just hear static. Jesus, I miss you so much I started reading some of your sappy literature last week. It’s clearly having an affect.

I hope you’re okay. I hope you’re good. I miss you more and more with every passing day. I miss you more than I thought was ever humanly possible for one person to miss another. I never thought this deep of a feeling could exist. This “break” has taught me a lot.

Been talking to the shrink more too. He says I have an issue with authority and always need to feel in control because of how my dad was. Big fucking brain on this guy, huh? Must’ve went to school in Dumb Fuckville.

Sorry. I’m trying to be kinder. Not swear so much. Wish they made patches for anger like they do for nicotine. Something to ease the ache. But it’s hard to quit something you were born into. The Harrington rage doesn’t just disappear over night. But I swear I’m trying. I promise, cross my heart and hope to die, baby. I’m doing my best to be better.

I hope I hear from you. I hope you’re alright.

I love you.

— Steve

♡ ♡

2/3/93

Steve,

I meant to write. I’ve been so busy now that I’m at the library full time again. I forgot how taxing it can truly be, but it’s like riding a bike. The smell of the books, the feel of the paper, the conversations you have with readers who don’t know where to look, or the ones who do and are searching for more. I forgot how important I feel between those stacks of books.

My girlfriends and I have been going out. They never got to celebrate my twenty-first with me, so we had a belated celebration a few weeks ago. We went to a bar in Indianapolis, took a bus the whole way there. The bar was loud and hot and sticky, and someone spilled beer all over my purse. I know you would’ve hated it, but part of me wished you were there. Bodies were pressing against each other on the dance floor, touching and smearing sweat—but all I wanted to feel was yours. Your familiar frame, right next to me. Only with you have I ever felt so secure.

Anyway, I got my first hangover, and that wasn’t fun. Especially because I’m still staying with my parents and they still think I’m seventeen. Nick tried to get me to buy him beer for his friends. I wish I could be this ‘cool’ older sister for him, but right now he doesn’t like me very much.

I watched your fight last week. There’s something so different in the way you move now. Your punches seem heavier, harder. You take more hits before you hit back. I wish you wouldn’t do that. You know I always worry, Steve. I worry about what might happen if you take too many hits. All those concussions can’t be good. I’m no doctor, but I figure eventually, they’ll catch up to you. I don’t want to see that happen. I can’t fathom the idea of losing you like that. No matter what happens between us, I always want to know you’re well. Selfishly, I always want to know you're out there if I need to call.

I’m glad to know you’re trying, and that you’re still going to therapy. I think it’s very healthy, Steve, and I appreciate and value your honesty. And….I miss you too.

Yours,

Libby

♡ ♡

2/12/93

Libby,

There hasn't been a moment that's gone by since you left that I haven't wished I was with you. In whatever way that might be, all I've wanted is to feel your body next to mine. I miss your touch, your smell, your smile. I never want to know another kiss but yours. I never want to hold another body in my arms that isn't yours. I don't think I could stomach the thought of never having that again.

The longer the time between us lasts and the further the distance grows, the worse I ache for you. God I sound like a fucking dope. It's all those novels you left me, I swear I'm not this sappy. But I guess with you I am.

Please forgive me. Please come home. All I can do now is beg, and show you how hard I'm trying.

I love you, angel. There's nobody and nothing but you.

Love,

Steve

P.S. You're the best big sister. Nick will see that one day when his brain isn't full of beer and Playboy.

P.P.S. Happy early Valentine's Day, baby. I hope the flowers are okay.

♡ ♡

2/17/93

Dear Steve,

I loved the flowers, and I loved the sap. Reading your last letter brought tears to my eyes, and for the first time in a while, they were blissful. I cannot begin to describe the size of the welt in my chest. It feels bruised by your absence and my longing.

Despite every bone in my body yearning for you, I cannot come home. Not yet. I'm not ready. I don't think you are, either. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, and while it pains both of us to endure it, I think they're right. Whoever "they" are.

In the spirit of all this honesty, I have to admit: Tom Marrow asked me out for Valentine's Day. And god damn you, Steve, I said no. I said no because I'm wilting without your sun shining on me, and I'm lost without you by my side. I said no because I'll never be able to look into the face of another man without wishing it was yours.

I said no because I know, one day (maybe soon, maybe not), I'll come home to you. Don't let that get to your head.

Love,

Libby

♡ ♡

2/22/93

Libby,

My heart has never suffered as many palpitations in all my high-risk athletic career as it did reading your letter. I hate the way the paper crumpled in my fist when I read about fucking Tom. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to abandon the jealousy that fills me when I think of you with another man. But I can admit, it reached a point even I don't like to think of. I was letting it control me. I'm trying not to do that anymore.

The paper smelled like you this time. You don't know how badly I've missed that smell. I sort of feel like a hound-dog, tracing for more of it in the ink. That's what you've reduced me to, my love. An animal searching for you in the earth.

Please come home. Please come back to me.

Yours,

Steve

♡ ♡

3/2/93

My darling Steve,

I'm coming home to you. Please unlock the door.

Yours always,

Libby

♡ ♡

[usmsgutterson]

Louder than Words- Kaz Brekker

Okay, hi! This one was requested by @ell0ra-br3kk3r​ about a week and a half or so ago? My notifications say it’s been about two weeks since we discussed it, and El, I promise I didn’t forget about the discussion! I just got sidetracked with editing a few fics I’m getting ready to post on ao3 and that took up a lot of my free time. 

On another note, though, this one is inspired by Louder Than Words sung by the cast of Tick, Tick, Boom! I was going to do a songfic but then I couldn’t make it work in my head, so the result instead is a fic very heavily inspired by the hopeful and cheery-ish vibes I got from the melody with a few allusions to the lyrics! El, if you want me to rewrite it and try to write a song fic, please let me know and I’ll do my best!

Fic type- this one is fluff with an angsty element or two?

Warnings-mentions of cages in relation to birds being trapped in them

Kaz often felt like his life was an amalgamation, of sorts. An amalgamation of every result to every decision he’d ever made. The reckless, the less than reckless, the smart and the ones that made people terrified. 

He hadn’t regretted a moment of any of it, though. The Ice Court, fighting against Jan Van Eck, watching as he was arrested, doomed to spend the rest of his days in Hellgate. 

Fighting against Per Haskell, forsaking him and watching as everyone else in the Dregs did the same, forcing Haskell out of the gang he once took so much pride in, crediting himself as the one who’d done the work, when all of it had fallen on Kaz’s back.

In the days, the weeks, and the months after everything surrounding the Ice Court had been said and done, Kaz often found himself feeling like a bird freed from a cage, allowed to take flight once more. There was no more running things by Haskell, losing out on money to make sure that the old man got what he thought to be the keep he’d earned. 

Kaz was almost grinning as he walked into the Crow Club and caught sight of you as you finished your shift behind the bar. 

“Chipper today?” You asked. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen get close to smiling as you are right now.” 

Kaz shrugged. “It’s just a bit of a good mood, is all,” he said. “Things always get that way this time of year. I tend to get a bit more optimistic with the cold.”

“Ah, is it the weather at last matching the image of your heart that makes it melt? How inopportune I imagine it must be to have a heart that melts with the drop in the temperature.” 

But Kaz’s words had been only half true. He’d been feeling lighter, truly. Some part of him worried less as the business grew, as the Dregs continued to expand and grow, reaching into even the corners of the city farthest from the Barrel. He was leaving a mark, leaving a legacy behind. 

It’d made him worry less, though he was still as analytical as he’d once been, still as much of an overthinker and, perhaps driven by greed more so than he’d been before the heist, but it just seemed that that day was destined to be decent, a day wherein he could just drink coffee, review plans. 

It was a day full of inaction, a day wherein you picked up a shift at the bar and helped Kaz make sure nobody was doing anything stupid, one of the few days without much to do, and it was one you both cherished.

“You’re lucky I tolerate your company.”

You laughed, and Kaz ignored the way that it made him feel--terrified, helplessly in love, like the luckiest man on the earth--and ordered a whiskey. 

“I love you too, Brekker,” you said. “Joining me for the last ten minutes?” 

“We’re to meet with Jesper and Wylan after your shift is done. I was coming around to notify you, but the whiskey and your company are just added bonuses.” 

You scoffed, shaking your head as you poured a shot of kvas, sliding it across the bar counter to the customer who waited.

Kaz took a sip of his whiskey, confirming it internally. He regretted nothing from the day he’d agreed to the Ice Court job and forth from there. Least of all you. 

He was a bird freed from a cage, allowed to fly once more, blazing a new trail rather than walking the path he’d walked whilst under Haskells employment. 

[the-lone-witch-and-secret-room]

Camila Noceda and Flawed Parenting

A perspective by a flawed person with loving but extremely flawed parents

I’m genuinely baffled at some people’s hostile reaction towards Camila. Like… do any of you have flawless parents that always know the best solution instantly, make no mistakes and never get emotional?

My parents are great. They’re super supportive and I love them very, very much. Overall I think I got very lucky in the parents department.

But god, they are far from flawless. I still live at home, and despite all the good, there’s moments when I can’t take my dad anymore. He’s the kind of dad that stayed up until two am to help me with homework when I was in school, and he does so, so many things to make sure I’m happy. I know that. But despite all of this, I have told my mom in emotional moments before that I’m not sure if I can keep living with him, because for all his good sides, he has a couple of fatal flaws that sometimes make him unbearable.

My mom listens to me and is very open to being educated on certain topics, but she has her flaws, too. She hates when I fight with my dad, and gets so torn up about it that I’ve once apologized to my dad out of fear of her getting into a car crash otherwise. She’s very vocal about certain flaws of mine, and sometimes uses the things she does for me as leverage against me when she gets very emotional.

And both of my parents pay a lot more attention to my brother because he needs it more, because he’s more of a “problem child” while I “seem so capable” even when I’m not.

And guess what? I’m not a perfect child. I make mistakes sometimes, some of them pretty severe. Just like Luz, I’m the kind of person that struggles to communicate certain issues of mine to her parents. I’m stubborn, and when I get emotional, I say very hurtful things sometimes. So do they.

And this has nothing to do with my parents being horrible or abusive. They’re neither of those things.

The takeaway from this should not be that my entire family is made up of terrible people, but that we’re all flawed in our own ways, despite loving each other and trying our best. There’s things about my parents I wish I could change, and there are things about me that my parents wish they could change. And to an extent, that’s perfectly normal.

In our strengths and flaws and frustration with each other, we’re all human.

Specific, spoiler-y Camila and Luz things under the cut since this got very long.

We have no indication that Camila has a pattern of emotionally manipulating Luz. Her “emotional manipulation” as I’ve seen some people put it, is people for some reason thinking that the second you become an adult, you’re suddenly perfect and can no longer make mistakes, lest you’ll be dubbed horrible and abusive.

The whole concept is absurd to me. There is no perfect way to parent. There simply isn’t. Of course, there’s some genuinely abusive patterns that are horrible and inexcusable. But out of the parenting styles that aren’t, which one works depends on a number of factors, one of which absolutely includes that every child is different and has different needs. Camila is an amazing parent for Vee, giving the kid everything she’s ever longed for. She’s not an ideal parent for Luz. And that’s because Luz and Vee have fundamentally different needs.

Likewise, Luz is a pretty great child for Eda, but not a perfect fit for Camila. Luz relates to Eda a lot more than she relates to her mom, and that’s why the two of them have an easier time understanding each other. Both of these mother-child relationships exist, and one is not more doomed to fail than the other, but I think you’ll agree that the better you understand someone and where they’re coming from, the easier it is to communicate, pick up on certain signs, etc.

As mom and daughter, Camila and Luz are both flawed and have issues seeing the other’s perspective because of how different they are. And we should simultaneously acknowledge both of their roles in the issue and give both of them the space to learn and grow past those issues.

Luz struggles to communicate her problems. She doesn’t want to burden people in the demon realm, and it’s a given that this started out as not wanting to burden her mom. So she keeps quiet about her issues. Camila tries hard but can’t read her daughter’s mind, so there’s only so much she can do to understand and help the way Luz needs her to. Hell, Eda, who Luz is a lot more open with than her mom, struggles to help her, because Luz doesn’t tell her what’s wrong. I don’t see anyone calling Eda a terrible mom for that.

Camila tries her best, but she struggles to understand her daughter because of this, and because of how fundamentally different they are. She loves Luz’s creativity, we actively see her supporting it in the new episode—she keeps the weird stuff Luz made because she thinks Luz will regret throwing it away, and even plays along in what she assumes to be some elaborate role play because “she’s glad Luz kept her creativity even though it’s not made things easy for her at school”. But at the beginning of the show, said creativity got out of hand and people got hurt. Luz could’ve gotten hurt. So of course Camila had to interfere. I love Luz dearly, but she thought it was okay to bring snakes to school and set off fireworks inside a school building. Creativity is great. Doing reckless stuff that causes people to get hurt is not.

In sending Luz to camp, Camila tried to have someone else fix her issue because she didn’t know how to help Luz. That was a mistake, and a bad one at that, but she’s realizing that. She looks disheartened when Vee tries to throw out Luz’s stuff, because she never meant to change her daughter or take that part of her away. She just thought Luz needed a reality check—which, for the record, is something the narrative actually agrees with.

Luz spends her time in the demon realm getting reality check after reality check, realizing that even her ideal fantasy world where she has everything she always wanted doesn’t mean she’s free of consequences. She goes overboard constantly, causing:

-Eda to be forced to fly into a trap because Luz is chasing a fantasy (Witches before Wizards)

-Eda to almost be branded by her sister because Luz doesn’t think through why Eda doesn’t use magic to publicly announce her presence constantly (Once Upon a Swap)

-Eda and the twins to get kidnapped by a Slitherbeast because Luz stole Amity’s wand (Adventures in the Elements)

-Her friends to get hurt when she goes overboard trying to help Willow (Wing it like Witches)

-Eda to be captured and almost petrified because Luz thought she could just steal from the Emperor with no consequences in an attempt to help (Agony of a Witch)

I’m like 90% sure these aren’t even all. None of those make her a terrible person, for the record, but as all humans are, she is flawed and makes bad choices. She learns from these experiences and matures, just like her mom had hoped she would at camp. She’s also made friends there, which was another thing Camila wanted for her daughter.

You’ll probably realize that a lot of Luz’s behaviors I mentioned follow one of two patterns: 1. Luz’s idealized fantasy world causing problems, when she walks around with rose tinted glasses and gets people in trouble in the process because she hasn’t thought about the consequences, and 2. Luz trying to help someone she loves, but instead making things worse in the progress. The issue with this one is often that she doesn’t communicate her ideas/listen to the people she’s trying to help—like when Willow and Gus said they’ve had enough of Grudgby, or how she never actually talks to Eda about the healing hat idea before doing something reckless.

…does the latter one sound familiar to you at all? No? Because it’s the exact same thing that Camila did.

Some of the things Luz does are reckless and actively endanger others and herself, and that’s something that I think we need to acknowledge before judging Camila. As Luz’s mom, it’s Camila’s job to interfere in those situations. That she made a mistake while trying to protect Luz doesn’t make her a terrible person, especially as, again, the narrative proves her right to an extent.

I’m not saying her making Luz promise to come back and stay isn’t something that hurt Luz—it absolutely is. But it was born out of desperation. She’s emotional and in shock. She’s so full of pain and regret. She just wants her fourteen year old daughter home safe, and there’s nothing abusive or even morally ambiguous about that.

From Luz’s perspective, what she says is absolutely heartbreaking, but from Camila’s, it’s perfectly reasonable. I doubt Camila has the full picture, but even if she does, she’s had a full fifteen seconds to process that her daughter has not only been lying to her for months, but chose to leave her, and is in the demon realm of all places. Of course she’d be emotional and upset about that! Who wouldn’t? Camila isn’t a robot. If she’d been calm about this I’d be way more concerned, honestly.

My parents don’t get mad that easily, but if I would lie to them for weeks on end, they’d be pissed off too, not even taking the running away from home part into account. That’s a normal thing. People don’t like being lied to. Camila is absolutely devastated in that moment because she’s scared that Luz left because she hates her, when Luz actively states that her leaving wasn’t about her mom—which is another thing we should really be acknowledging.

Abusive parents suck and abuse should obviously never be apologized or trivialized, but saying something hurtful in the heat of the moment isn’t the same thing as being an abusive parent. My parents have done this. I’ve done this. And yes, those things can be emotionally manipulative, but there’s a huge difference in whether that’s a habit or a person speaking out of hurt and desperation in a very specific context. I doubt there’s anyone on the entire planet that hasn’t had a bad moment where they’ve said something like this because they were hurting. People lash out when they hurt, and they beg for reassurance when they’re scared. That’s something we all do.

The whole mindset of “all parents have to be perfect and can never get upset or make any mistakes” is harmful as hell, and honestly also very unrealistic. No parent is perfect, and especially people like me who have a relationship with their parents that’s very good overall should know that.

Once you have a child, parenting is a non-stop learning process, every day for the rest of your life. Taking away that room to grow and expecting perfection isn’t helping anyone, especially not struggling single parents.

And I see Camila as someone who is very willing to learn, because at the end of the day, all she wants is for Luz to be happy. Let’s give her some time to wrap her head around this whole situation. Let’s see what she says once she sees for herself how happy Luz is in that world, may it be via the videos eventually coming through or Camila visiting and meeting Luz’s found family, her friends and her girlfriend.

Ultimately, I don’t think Camila will force Luz to stay at home, but we have to give her some time. She wants what’s best for Luz, and she’s gonna need some convincing that a dangerous magical world is what’s best. I feel like that’s very normal considering the circumstances.

Her and Luz need to work on their communication on both ends, they both have things to learn, but I’m certain they’ll manage to fix their relationship in the long run.

If the bunk bed is any indication, I think Vee is gonna stay in the human realm permanently while Luz sleeps at home but keeps attending Hexside in the daytime. That feels like a solution that keeps everyone happy, and allows Luz to spend time with all the people she loves. I can’t see her being forced to choose at the end.

As a closing statement: Eda isn’t an ideal mom, Amity isn’t an ideal friend or girlfriend and neither is Luz, Lilith isn’t an ideal sister… but that’s because no one is ever an ideal anything. Being flawed is a big part of being human. Everyone has different facets to their personality. Their flaws are what makes them such great, relatable, believable characters.

And I feel the same way about Camila. She’s an extremely believable character that reminds me of my own parents, flawed but very loving nonetheless.

(Also honestly, I think it’s pretty telling that some of you guys immediately bash the black single mom that’s obviously trying her hardest while giving the benefit of the doubt to Alador, who has been portrayed as neglecting and threatened his six year old daughter on screen. This was already a thing before we knew much about either of them, and I’m disappointed but unfortunately not very surprised that it still is.)