#i probably just need to sleep
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Kk I’m venting to hell about this probably so I’ll do it under a break I can feel the paragraph already jfc
Comparing yourself in art is so weird, and staring at your own art and the things you’ve created and just tearing yourself apart over it feels like I’m never actually making anything good. Like even if I’m proud of a piece, after a few days, even after a few hours sometimes, I see things that could be better, or things I messed up that seem so obvious, and I end up fucking hating it.
I’m not an artist. I don’t devote all my time and skill into drawing, I write. I’m supposed to be a writer. But I’ve been drawing more, and creating more than just words, and sometimes I wish I never picked it back up In January. I wish I just kept it in the back of my mind as some silly little thing I could barely do.
I shouldn’t uphold myself to this standard, but I do. I’ve noticed it more lately, I’ve been fucking picking and tearing everything I make apart like I need to dissect it and hate myself for every little thing that’s wrong. I miss being proud of my art. I miss doing something and feeling so happy that it looked right the first time I drew it. But it’s just like, impossible anymore. I don’t really have an art style. I can’t fucking shade or render or whatever the hell it’s called, I don’t know a lot about art stuff because I’m not an artist. I’m not and I never have been. I don’t know why I think I can be one. It’s been working against me for so long too. I can’t see half the colours I need to to be able to create anything good, and that’s why I rely on words, not images, to be able to make things. I don’t need to know how to pick up an art pen to write, or to be able to see half of the colours in the world to make a story.
I’m!!!! So just? Disappointed in myself. Because I don’t know why I can’t feel proud anymore. I can’t call myself bad, because I know I’m not, but I hesitate to call myself good. It’s subjective, I know that, but I wish there was a line I could understand, a line I could force myself to see and give myself a definitive answer on if I even deserve it or not.
#this is a RANT I’m sorry#I’m like#ahhhhh#art is hard#and not fun anymore and I wish it was#being alive and doing things is weird#this was more of a vent than a rant#I probably just need to sleep#mutuals and friends and people and stuff I’m so normal and ok I swear lol
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actually just so stressed about everything a the time ever actually
#so so stressed#i dont know how to do this anymore#i probably just need to sleep#but like i cant keep doing this#i wish i knew what being calm and comfortable felt like#i genuinely dont think ive ever felt like that before
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the entire situation with the way people are treating welcome home’s creator is like. the most discouraging thing i have ever seen. like. if this is the way artists and writers are treated then what’s the point of posting anything.
the creator seems to be having a breakdown now and there are still people looking at that and saying “lol well screw you, it’s the internet, your creations are now mine!!!”
i... i don’t know what to do anymore.
#negative nonsense#i'm sorry I'll probably delete this later#i've been feeling so awful for the past several hours#i've always had anxieties about posting my own original stuff#but like they've been getting so much worse#i probably just need to sleep
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how do you know how bad it's gotten?
when a house and food makes you feel spoiled?
or, more importantly,
when do you begin to question why?
when do you begin to question who?
#poetry#writing#beautiful words#journal#original#this is confusing#sry not sry#if you do understand#i hope things get better#i wrote this at 1am#i probably just need to sleep
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Very tru
I think the green guys should kiss 💚
#luigi#bowser#bowuigi#weeg looks good in pretty clothes imo#give him time to adjust#to be clear mario approves of luigi branching out in his wardrobe not his taste in turtles lol#bowser x luigi#i probably just need to sleep
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Call this the Whoopsie AU (it's barely an AU)
I mean. Narinder never explicitly SAID the Lamb would stay dead... :3c He probably should have been more specific. >:3c
Part Two:
Well. The Lamb tried, but...sorry, Nari, the crown hates you now. Shouldn't have been so quick to lend it out, I guess. :D
Aaaand Part Three:
'Isn't he just adorable?' -The Lamb, probably, while their followers smile and nod and internally scream at the brand new hellcat they now have to share living space with...
Anyway, nothing says 'Dead To Me' like following a person around to loudly remind them of how dead they are to you. Right? Right. Narinder's got this all figured out. <:]
#fanart#comics#cult of the lamb#cotl#narilamb#cotl lamb#cotl narinder#cotl yellow cat#this is my headcanon and i'm sticking to it#the lamb is a goofy stabby-babby goober and narinder is just a grumpy asshole who constantly velcroes onto them for hella snuggles#look - if you've been trapped in the afterlife void for over a thousand years - you are GONNA want a fuckton of snuggles#that's just science#the scribble comic i did with narinder and the yellow cat can technically work as part four i guess#only instead of the lamb Going Gremlin at the attempt to steal their other followers' devotion#they just comin' at him for Rad Cuddles OuO#someday i will draw these two with the proper height difference i imagine them having#today is not that day#today is also not the day i pin down exactly how long i want narinder's tail to be#(but i want it to be Very Long - just because)#there are inconsistencies here and there and probably some mistakes but i have been working on these for a week and i am So Tired guys#EDIT: haha yeah i forgot to color in narinder's fukken ears again#fuk :)#EDIT 2: i fixed it but it's probably too late at this point lmao#EDIT 3: THE LAMB'S FUKKEN HORNS JFC#i am not editing this thing anymore cuz i need sleep and the mistakes are already out there *dies of artist mortification*
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#if your regular sleep med of choice is Benadryl I’m afraid of you#Idek what my answer is though??? probably melatonin. it helps a lot when I need to fix my sleep schedule#sleep soundly <3333#I also sometimes take ashwaganda if it’s not too expensive or is mixed w other stuff. and drink sleepy teas but not necessarily JUST toslee#I was on olanzapine and that helped my sleep a lot (at the cost of eventually making me feel so so tired during the day)#anyways you must tell me
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I’m very sad rn, and I’m trying to figure out if it’s because I haven’t eaten since yesterday, or bc there’s legit something wrong
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There will be NO Luigi in a dress eraser in this house!
I beg to every Bowuigi fic writers out there to add Luigi crossdressing AND laughing like this. It's simply iconic.
#if y'all ask what game this from:#mario & luigi superstars saga + bowser's minions#bowuigi#bowser x luigi#bowser#i probably just need to sleep
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retired 🩶
#call of duty#cod#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#soapghost#my art#listen this took me like two weeks so y'all better appreciate 🤌#johnny is the super active DIY father of the family#simon has made his way through all of the miss marple mysteries and has now set his sights on naval fiction#also growing his fringe out to hide the early onset baldness#johnny has gorgeous hair but we knew that#the dogs are called roger and wee albert--guess which is which#yes they all sleep in the same bed~#I guess I just need to see these two old and cranky and alive for whatever reason...#let them both burn in hell after a few good decades learning how to live beyond just surviving#god they probably make a banger pot roast....
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NEW BIRTHDAY THEME IS OUT!!!!!!!!!!!
BIRTHDAY SLUMBER PARTY, HERE WE COME
I think the theme is more loungewear than straight-up pajamas, but hey, I'm not complaining! (and -- look, we still have the groovies, I'm not giving up hope for animal kigurumi until I gotta)
#art#twisted wonderland spoilers#kutsurogi my room#put on the onesie jamil#man i am absolutely LIVING for jamil's adorable embroidered throw pillows#just offscreen is the wall decal that says 'bless this mess'#gosh though i am ready for a year of COMFY BOYS#does this mean we're going to get some kind of canon confirmation about whether or not malleus needs special pillows to sleep#yes PLEASE#god. i can't decide which would be funnier: mal in sweatpants and a vintage gargoyles (1994) t-shirt#or mal in a full victorian-style striped sleep set complete with nightcap that has a pompom on the end#that jiggles up and down with every HONK mimimimi#(this is probably also what riddle sleeps in tbh)#(ace can't even make fun of him because it's just too on the nose)#and hey twst as long as i have your ear APPARENTLY#i want that halloween event to be real and i want a lilia for it please and thank you 🙏#i know it's not his turn for a halloween card but c'mon. pretty please.#i am asking so nicely
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you open my Super Important Documents and its just pictures of charles xavier
#xmen#mcu#xmen movies#xmen first class#charles xavier#professor x#snap sketches#todays schedule has been ruined by my ever occurring need to practice drawing movie charles its horrendous#i started this sheet last night but then i kept adding to it and i keep wanting to add to it but i MUST stop myself#in an ideal world i get paid to draw charles xavier and erik lehnsherr but no i live in this baka society#sleepless charles WAS inspired by me starting this at 1AM and forcing myself to sleep at 4AM#and then here i am picking i up still later .... i need professional help i fear but i aint got time for that#NEVERTHELESS I THINK IT GOT IT NOW. I THINK IM OK. i think i know how i wanna go bout drawing him now ...#chat can i confess that like. .5% of the reason i barely draw FC charles i because of his hair#for some reason some demonic entity prevents me from drawing it easily i am in STRUGGLE CITY#the only thing that gets me is that whenever i draw him i can only think of the likes of a disney prince but man thems the strokes ig#i also drew a quick dark phoenix charles but i figured id just keep this first class oriented#anything else i want to say ? uh. hm. its funny i never do any of these sheets for erik#genuinely On My Life made One (1) sheet and was like 'no yeah i got it. i got it down'#literally not my fault his head is So Shaped and defined but anyways. this aint about him.#i mean it could be. i still wanna do a doodle page concentrated on drawing how his powers show#more specifically how do i wanna draw the glow cause i cant decide on it ... also i wanna draw the 'levels' ...#but thats for another time. for right now i should probably eat i havent eaten all day#bye bye !!!!!! here's to hoping i draw something thats not a doodle sheet one of these days
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EXCUSE THE FUK OUT OF ME
#WHAT IN THE GODDAMN HELL III#JUST SERVING C EVERY DAMN CHANCE HE GETS#FERAL#this man istg#I need sedation#and probably professional help#iii#sleep token#fav
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i'm sending this endless melody to a nameless you
#SKELETON ORCHESTRA AND LILIA I NEED YOU#project sekai#emunene#emu otori#nene kusanagi#pjsk#prsk#proseka#wxs cover wishlist copium.. 2!!#i have lots more of them i wanna draw but ill do st least one duet for each pair i think. maybe nnks next ive had one for them forever#Gyaaaa#Crying i have szks lunar new years art that idk how to render im missing the holiday. lord in heaven#Ik every leaker or whatever says this is going to mmj snd it probably will and i'll love the cover but still. emunene save me#wxs gets songs with nonsense lyrics its possible right Right right#i also wanted setsuna trip to go to emu in any duet but i looove the mnai cover so i won anways#Kind of too sleepy to do my usual. Sorry viewers who like reading theough my insane tags. Dont get covid it makes you sleep 13 hours a day#For the next month.#my friends saw me going nuts over this drawing actually and i gave up hard on nenes dress i just wanted to be done.. love how emus looks..#wait i actually can be insane in the tags THE WXS WORLDLINK SONG SJHDDYDJKYMY TGYAYDHUA!!! HAGSGYAAH!!!!! GY6;$;$;$;$;$ WHEHEHEHEHEH#WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH. Its so good please help. Wxs tetrad that illuminates the world save me.#why does the 2dmv have all of them under a WEDDING AROOOR WHY IS THERE A WEDDING BELL. CONGRATS ON POLYSHO MARRIAGE. HWATEVVRR!!!!!#wonderlands x showtime killing me taking damage augh Auughg akk akcghj
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Girl help i cant stop thinking about smiling friends the enchanted forest episode
During a get together for the northeastern nobles (parents + heirs) at the henituse fief cale and eric walk off and get into wacky highjincks
Part: 1 , 2 , 3 , 4
#ill probably make more#og cale henituse#eric wheelsman#just drawing dmm#tcf#idk man idk JSNSJSM#FUCKKK ITS TWO FUCKING AM THATS WHY MY BRAIN MADE SMTH THIS STUPID#I NEED TO SLEEP OH GOS#og ericcale
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Little pencil doodles of this post since @pigeonstab’s tags got me inspired again
And a bonus one
#UTDR#UTMV#My Art#Cross Sans#Killer Sans#Kross ship#Too lazy to get my tablet and open my art program so it's pencil scribbles tonight lads#I just love the image of them so comfy cosy in bed#All tucked in and snuggled up together#God I wish that were me#I don't wanna cuddle I get too warm for that I just wanna sleep and not get up for work#After the last picture is Cross flailing and tripping out of bed and running to get dressed#Sweating and panicking that he's gonna be in trouble for being late#Even tho there's nothing to do and Nightmare has probably not even noticed#This guy needs 50 straight hours of sleep to start unwinding#Anyway speaking of sleep goodniiiiight <3
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