#i prefer to talk with people personally instead of shouting out generally. if that makes sense. ?

[oh-koenig-my-koenig]

(to the tune of Avril Lavigne's sk8terboi)

He was a human battering ram.

She was a recon sniper.

Can I make it any more obvious?

Headcannons - Fit for a King - König x fem!OC fanfic

Instead of making a y/n fic, I decided to create an original female character because I ususally write all of my stuff in POVs. Due to posting the chapters often right after I've written them some of the context and the characterization might not be explicit in every single piece, some of the information is only gonna get revealed down the road.

(TW: alcoholism, death, violence)

Karina Müller is almost 30 years old, she served in the Norwegian military from right after school until the death of her brother who was KIA on a mission together. She fell off the wagon after that, feeling responsible for his death and effectively being shunned by her family after that. Her pick of poison was alcohol and it got so bad that she more than once was drunk on the job which led to her getting kicked out.

The years after that she spent getting help, trying to get clean and going back to a civilian life, but the military was what she knew, so the civilian jobs didn't stick and she started to work as a mercenary, now a dry alcoholic. Which might be an issue for some contractors, but KorTac doesn't really bat an eye.

She's a compassionate person who loves to laugh, she's seen enough shit not to take any from her teammates and can stand her ground when faced with any challenge thrown her way. She's still working through some stuff, coming to terms with her past, but she has an optimistic spirit and a strong will.

Even though the Colonel seems scary at first, she learns pretty quickly that he is to be respected in training and on the battlefield, but on a personal level he's really not that bad. The 6'10'' killing machine, Austrian war criminal (insert "what murdeeer?!"-meme here) is quite an anxious person when it comes to basic human interaction.

Shouting orders at his team, stomping his enemies into the ground is more comfortable to him than just talking about mundane stuff with other people, he mostly keeps to himself (except for Horangi because that little shit would never leave him alone). And for the first time in a long time, Müller makes him wish that he could just go up to people and strike up a normal conversation like a normal person (don't we all).

König is 38 years old (we don't know his full name) and has the biggest metalhead dad vibes without actually having any children himself (his favourite band is Death, although he listens to a bunch of different ones, it's also their merch shirt Müller steals in "Are you wearing my t-shirt?").

When he started out in the military, he shaved his long metalhead hair off because that was the way to go back then, but he let it grow back when he was older and already Colonel. He has gauged ears and a plethora of tattoos all over his body because the soft pain of body modifications and working out until he almost passes out are his ways of dealing with his anxiety and stress. His body is a testament to that.

He has a huge scar on the right side of his face from when he got beaten to a pulp by his bullies at school, something he never let happen again after that (five on one was really unfair). His nose has been broken two times and sometimes his tattoos get destroyed by battle injuries, but he doesn't really care about that - or his looks in general. He's a soldier and not a model.

So the reason why he's always wearing the selfmade hood is not the scar. He prefers not to show his feelings to others, staying hidden underneath the mask for his own comfort, even if it makes him scarier also in situations where he doesn't want to be.

(CW: some nsfw headcannons ahead, talk about not wanting to have children) They're both switches, though König is leaning more on the Dom-side while Müller is a sub who likes to brat a little too much, just to see her man falter (for example when she calls him a good boy in random scene #1).

Müller is bisexual, something she discovered when serving in an all-women-taskforce of the Norwegian military (we don't really know about König's sexuality though). She decided a long time ago that she doesn't want to have children (she doesn't see herself leaving service again anytime soon and given her past, she doesn't see herself fit to become a mother), so she got her tubes tied. Which also comes in handy when a certain Colonel's favourite pasttime (well, actually second favourite) is leaving creampies inside her (no 'unexpected pregnancy' trope in this household).

König definitely eats pussy for his own pleasure, begging Müller to let him eat her out in "Sit" or losing a little friendly competition for a sexual favour in "But no funny business" (oh and he definitely steals her panties at any chance he gets). She's totally not opposed to servicing him as well, but the size of his dick makes this a whole endeavour (like seen in "Open wide, Prinzessin").

They match each other's energy pretty well, just going at it like rabbits at every chance they get, which sometimes proves to be difficult as they're sneaking around in secret.

Their arrangement is kind of a fuckbuddy/fwb-situation, they fuck hard and rough, without ever really kissing (the mask stays on), but after a while feelings start to get in the way... After all they do belong together <3

Read more at the Fit for a King - Masterlist or keep an eye out for the AO3 link - coming soon.

[scholar-of-yemdresh]

Hot take but the aggressive hardline separation of asexual and aromantic is actually EXTREMELY harmful to a lot of ace/aro people.

Angry rant under the cut

It's one to thing to go: "okay yes sometimes they go together but it's important to remember that for some people they can be different things and you can be one and not the other"

And go: "These are TOTALLY DIFFERENT 100 always separate there is no intersection EVER and if you DARE to be both then you have to piecemeal your identity to not uwu invalidate others(we do not care that we are invalidating you though lol) Don't you DARE ever experience them together you are CONFLATING"

It's like yall just want asexual to = alloromantic only and aromantic to = allosexual only.

You don't give a shit about aroaces, aces who aren't alloromantic but don't ID as aromantic or aros who aren't allosexual but don't ID as asexual.

The aspec community despises us. We get talked down to demanded to split our identities apart for your comfort. We can't exist in certain spaces because our presence there is a personal affront to allo-aspecs. Shout out to the alloaros that bitch about those disgusting aroaces just clogging up the aromantic tag ☺. Shout out to the alloaces who can still love and aren't totally heartless monsters 🥺.

Don't talk about ace shit in the aro tags, Don't talk about aro shit in the ace tags...what's that you're both? And can't neatly separate them and it brings you comfort to be able to discuss your whole orientation? SHUT THE FVCK UP YOU CONFLATING IGNORANT SHIT HEAD.

If you want to be in the aromantic community you have to leave your ace-ness at the door same for asexual community and disregarding your aromantism.

A personal example was an Aspec discord server I was in that had two media recs channels one for sex repulsed people and the other for romance repulsed. Now the issue came is that they didn't acknowledge someone could be both i.e both sex & romance repulsed/just looking for media that had neither sexual nor romantic content, what this lead too is that the romance free media channel was filled with graphic hookup erotica or sexually explicit songs and the sex free channel was just fade to black romance books 🙃...wonderful.

Or when polls/forms will ask you to pick your orientation but only things listed are het,gay,bi/pan yes even the ones made by aspecs, and what they actually mean is use the one that correlates to your romantic/sexual attraction...so fvck aroaces and non sam aces & aros?

And don't get me started on how you treat non sam aces & aros. You at least tolerate the self IDing aroaces, because they have the "curtesy" of separating themselves from the real proper aces & aros.(let's not question how many aroaces would prefer to just ID as just asexual or just aromantic but are forced into aroace identity because that would be "conflating" and they don't want to deal with the harassment).

"UwU don't say asexual when you actually mean aromantic" Some bitches don't use to SAM fvck off with allo-splaining my own sexuality to me.

It would be so much easier and save a lot of pain if yall just went : "asexual for some means no sexual attraction and it says nothing of your romantic attraction AND some people use it to mean no attraction generally". And "aromantic for some means no romantic attraction and it says nothing of your sexual attraction AND some people use it to mean no attraction generally" and "for some they are separated but others not so much as there isn't always a strict separation. Just be chill about it don't accuse people of being ignorant or conflating they know their identities better than you". But no ya chose violent aphobia instead.

But ultimately nobody cares because this shit is only harming the undesirable aces/aros the ones who are harmful stereotypes the ones that make you "look bad".

I know deep in my heart there are a lot of alloaces & alloaros that who would be happy if aroaces & non sam aces/aros didn't exist, there I said it. How can I not come to that conclusion when at every turn they shit on us. They talk about how the worst thing in the world is to be mistaken for one of us. That our representation is actively harmful.

A last parting spicy take it's either "asexulity and aromantism are full identities on their own and aren't modifiers" OR "actually neither asexual nor aromantic can stand on their own they need to be paired with another orientation and they actually are just modifiers" you can't have it both ways. 🤭

[forgwater]

Late Night

(general) Lilia Vanrouge x Reader

part 5 part 4 part 3 part 2 part 1

gender neutral reader

a/n: it's been 84 years. I am so sorry to everyone that's been waiting for an update for the past almost 2 years 💀. Things have been happening.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Did you really think I'd let you back out of this commitment?" the general inquires, a smirk evident on his features.

You gulp as he fixates you with his piercing gaze. Mischief and… something else dance within those garnet colored eyes of his. You find yourself staring, unable… or unwilling to remove your own gaze from the fae.

However, feeling the growing warmth of your cheeks prompts you to act.

It’s the fire, you placate yourself.

It must be the fire. There’s no other explanation. No. Nope. Nothing else.

While you were preoccupied trying to and failing at controlling your racing thoughts, your companion finally loses his battle with laughter, startling you at the loudness of it.

“Oh?~ are you finally falling for my good looks and enchanting personality?” he barely manages to get out. There’s a hint of proudness in his voice, slightly masked by his maniacal giggling.

“NO-!” Great. Now you’re embarrassed too. You just made a fool of yourself in front of the enemy-… was he still an enemy…?... you’re working together for now….

“That’s so cute!” placing an elbow on his knee, he sighs “you’re so cute…”  

“…”

“…”

Considering his face right now, you’re sure the general would’ve preferred to have had a brick hit him squarely in the face. But no, he does not get that privilege. Instead he gets to see the smirk growing on your face, followed by a dreaded, teasing:

“Did you just call me cut-“

“I have no idea what you’re talking about!” he looks positively desperate to cover up his slip up. A triumphant smile takes its place on your lips at that.

“Sure, if you say so.” You card a hand though your hair, batting your eyelashes at him in the process. You don’t believe him in the slightest and he knows it.

With an exasperated groan and hands covering his face, the fae falls on his back.

Might as well pretend he’s not here. Not like you’d give him that luxury, but it’s good to hope.

“So…” You sit next to him.

Goodbye hope, it was good knowing you.

“Hmmm?” the muffled sound urges you to continue.

Feigning ignorance will have to do.

“What’s the plan?” throwing a glance his way, you continue “Do we keep traveling together or are we splitting ways?” there’s a feeling in your eyes the general can’t quite make out and you’re not sure you can either.

How can you continue working together with him? Where would you go? What would you do? It’s… dangerous.

Bringing him before your peoples troops doesn’t feel quite right. And you hope he wouldn’t do that to you either.

After what feels like ages, Lilia opens his mouth to speak:

“I still don’t know where we are…” he finally meets your gaze “and I suppose you don’t either. So I propose we stay together until we find a village or an outpost… or something.” he offers “….We can split ways then.” If you didn’t know better you would’ve said the general sounded disappointed, but that can’t be.

...Right?....

You decide not to comment on it either way.

“That sounds like a good enough plan.” You finally add. “…We should rest.” You decide.

“I’ll take first watch.” Lilia offers, only to be met with your distrusting gaze. “OH COME ON!” the offended fae shouts. “You literally freed me! You’re the one that suggested it to begin with too!” the disbelief is clear in his voice “And now you’re worried I might kill you??!?”

“…” you pause “Force of habit.” you finally counter.

“…”

“…”

“Valid point.” He gives, throwing his hands in the air in mock surrender. “I promise I won’t kill you this time.”

You give him a blank stare.

“Okay! FINE! I’m sorry I killed you the first time! Does your capturing of me counts for my atonement and your revenge yet?” he gives you an almost pleading look. Almost.

“Hmmmm…” your mischievous smile greets the exasperated general. “Not yet.” you grin.

“NOT YET?!?!” his face is completely indignant “How much more must I suffer for you to forgive me?!” he huffs.

“We’ll see~” you tease, only to be met with another groan.

“I’m going to sleep!” seems like he’s had enough of your playfulness.

“I thought you were taking the first watch?” you poke again.

“Correction. You’re going to sleep.” And with that you decide it’s time to retreat, smile still on your face.

The fae takes a seat by the campfire opposite of you, moving to curl up next to the flames, the light feels warm and welcoming against your weary bones. Before drifting off to sleep you look at your companion and whisper out a tired “Goodnight, Lilia.”

You almost miss the softest tone you’ve ever heard: “Goodnight, Y/N.”

………

……

….

You awake to the morning light shining on your features….... and something burning.

“Lilia?!” you shout in panic. Jumping from your laying position, you are met with the fae turning to you from… whatever had the poor fate of running into him.

“Can’t say I wouldn’t love to hear you screaming my name, but I’d rather you have a different tone while doing so.”

“I- You- WHAT?!” He did not just insinuate what you think he did! Did he?!

You keep opening and closing your mouth in disbelief. How do you even respond to that?!

Lilia’s smirk does not escape you and he looks far too pleased with your reaction.

“You’re so unfair!” you settle on.

“Oh? Am I?~” he teases “I let you sleep the entire night… or what was left of it, and you’re still upset with me?” he sighs “Look!” I even cooked for us!” the fae smiles proudly, showing off… the thing.

“…Should I ask what that even is?” you attempt to get answers.

“Rabbit.” he pauses briefly “Have you never eaten rabbit before?”

“Ah! That’s not-… It looks.... interesting!” you force a smile.

“Why, thank you! Now, you can have half.” He pushes some of the charred poor creature towards you. “Go on! Dig in! I’m sure I can catch us some more, so don’t be shy!” he urges you.

.....You’re not gonna be able to get out of this one, are you…?

“I’m not really that hungry…” you try anyway.

“Don’t be shy!” he pushes it more into your hands.

Oh… you’re so gonna regret this.

“Or… perhaps you’d prefer that I feed you myself~” the fae smirks.

Never mind. You'll take your chances with the.... "rabbit".

“Fine!” you relent “I’ll eat some!” you take the rabbit meat from him. “And no, I prefer using my own hands to eat.” You glare and he laughs.

Ugh, he can be so insufferable at times.

......

…….Now, how can you eat this without dying?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Masterlist

taglist: @kimura-uzuri  @desertlilie  @strawberry-cheezcake @anonima-2 @oreochococheesecake @justeclem44 @hat3yo0 @debo1701 @aloodonut

@haru-tofuu @vivianstar-blog2

[waternilly]

Sherlock Holmes Fluff Alphabet

A - Activities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Honestly, Sherlock's main passion are his cases. So if he wishes to spend time with you, he is most likely to take you along on a case or tell you about all the thoughts running through his mind.

It is, however, not the only thing he does in his life. In between cases, he likes to read or play music. You could thus those together, or you could do any activity you might like whilst he does one of those.

On occasion, you might have a drink together, but it is more likely to happen in the privacy of your own home.

B - Beauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

Sherlock likes someone with wits; someone who likes to cultivate their intellect through any means they see fit. He does have a certain admiration for emotionally intelligent people too, who are empathetic and capable of understanding their feelings.

C - Comfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

When you first meet, Sherlock is at loss on how to comfort you. It first takes some observing from him and conversations with you for him to learn what to do. He is however a fast learner and will constantly try to improve upon what he already knows to work.

D - Dreams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

He may not be very likely to admit it, but Sherlock can no longer imagine the future without you being beside him. He has no specific plans regarding what he wishes, he only knows he wants you to be a part of it.

E - Equal - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

Sherlock has his habits and he cares about those being respected. He may also take some decisions regarding both of you without consulting you first when your relationship starts, often because he believes he knows better.

If it is something that bothers you, however, he will hear you out and make sure not to take any important decisions without talking them over with you first.

F - Fight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

I don't picture Sherlock as the shouting type, unlike Mycroft. He is, however, very stern and serious, and honestly quite intimidating.

He cannot stay mad at you very long though. He does not want to. Fights are fun for no one and he prefers to avoid them altogether by having a calm conversation.

G - Gratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

Sherlock is very observing, so he is likely to notice small things you do for him. Some he might take more for granted than others though. What he would appreciate the most would probably be when you help him on a case, either because you let him ramble to you or because you actually engage and give your opinion.

H - Honesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

This man is far from being an open book, so yes, Sherlock has secrets. But they are usually not intentional. He is more likely to consider something is not worth sharing than actually try to hide it from you.

I - Inspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

You definitely changed him in ways. I can picture Sherlock as being more open to his relatives after starting a relationship with you. He bothers trying to understand his feelings, instead of bottling them all up. Because now, cases are not the only thing that matter anymore, you are there too.

J - Jealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Once you are in a relationship, Sherlock is not very worried when it comes to your honesty or loyalty. He believes you to be a good partner, who would not do such a thing. He does remain a bit warier towards strangers or even acquaintances that could attempt to court you.

However, before your relationship was properly established, he was worried someone would court you and win your heart, although he would never have admitted it.

K - Kiss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

Sherlock has very little experience in this regard and he does not kiss you often. He is however very gentle whenever it happens, unless you initiate something more passionate. In which case, he will follow your lead and adapt to your pace.

Every once in a while, he might be the one to initiate a more passionate kiss however. Maybe after being absent for a prolonged amount of time or after either of you were in danger but you made it out safely.

L - Love Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

A confession from Sherlock can not be as simple as him just telling you he loves you. The first time he attempts it, it probably flies over your head, because it barely even sounds like a confession. "I appreciate your presence." or "I value your opinion." are sentences that take you aback, but there was no reason for you to read into them you thought.

He finally confesses clearly when he starts thinking his feelings aren't shared. That is when the puzzle pieces are finally able to click in your brain.

M - Marriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose?

Considering the era, you would be bound to marry. Not that Sherlock minds, however, since he likes to picture you growing old together.

He would talk about his proposal ideas with Enola before going through with it. No one wants a repeat of his confession not being clear.

N - Nicknames - What do they call their s/o?

I don't picture Sherlock as a nickname man. He prefers to refer to you by your name directly but he occasional "dear" may slip out.

O - On Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

Sherlock definitely tries his very best to hide his feelings. And for most people, it works. They would not be able to tell if he was in love or not. Enola might be able to read through it, though, because Sherlock would let things slip. He would mention you by name, stop to greet you and actually speak, and sometimes even smile. Knowing her brother, she can tell something is different about you.

Despite hiding it relatively well, Sherlock's mind is racing. At first, he does not understand why his thoughts keep going back to you, but as time passes, he starts accepting it and lets his mind flow freely.

When it comes to you, Sherlock is quicker to compliment you than most people. He may even offer to walk you somewhere, which he would ordinarily never do.

P - PDA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

Considering he does not kiss you a lot even when you are married, kissing you in public would be a big no-no. The only acceptable gesture would be for you to hold onto his arm, or to dance at a ball (if Sherlock agrees to that in the first place).

Boasting is not really his style either and would not be very acceptable anyway. At most he will compliment you in front of others.

Q - Quirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

It is Sherlock Holmes we are talking about, so of course his observational skills are an advantage. They can however be an inconvenience if you try to surprise him.

R - Romance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

Not a big, grand gesture type of romantic, Sherlock would however accept to do small things to make you happy. Dancing in your living room, playing music for you, buying you flowers etc.

S - Support - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

Of course he does. Sherlock would be your number 1 supporter, even if it's not always explicit. He would listen to you talk about your goals, dreams and plans for the future, and he would help you find ways to achieve them.

T - Thrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

Like I said earlier, Sherlock likes to have a certain routine. I think it's especially the case in your relationship because the rest of his life is usually not like that. Every case is different, so every day is different. But having a constant, through your relationship, helps him ground himself.

U - Understanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

Because he is so observational, Sherlock knows a lot about you. Or at least about all the physical things that regard you: your hobbies, your likes, your dislikes etc. He struggles more with knowing and understanding your thoughts, however. But with time, he learns and gets better at it.

V - Value - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

Would Sherlock give up on being a detective for you? Probably not. But is your relationship important to him? Yes, definitely. Especially once you confessed to each other, it becomes one of his priorities to keep courting you properly until he can propose. After that, keeping your relationship steady and making sure you are happy remains at the top of his list.

W - Wild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

Sherlock likes to hide little things for you, wondering if you will find them and realize how they winded up there. Things like dried flowers or small notes in books.

Besides that, even if he almost always manages to deduct that you are preparing a surprise for him, he will occasionally play along. Not every time, because he thinks he would be too obvious. But every once in a while, he will pretend you managed to trick him just because it clearly makes you happy.

X - XOXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

Only ever in private and usually at night, when you are lying in bed together. Sherlock is not a big one for physical affection, hugs are rare and kisses even more so. But holding you close and pressing his lips against your forehead as you quietly talk to each other before falling asleep... that's a yes.

Y - Yearning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

Distraction, preferably a case, something that can keep his mind busy while you are away. Else he is likely to spiral like he sometimes does between cases.

Z - Zeal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

The furthest I can picture him going would be to drop a case if your life is in danger. If it is his own, no. But you, yes. He cannot afford to loose you.

Original Post

I am a simp and I need more Henry!Sherlock content so please if you know any, hit me up.

For the rest, if you liked this, please do let me know by liking, commenting or reblogging. And don't hesitate to come drop a request :)

[microwave-core]

Sada Posting

I didn't include Sada on my scarvio headcanons because I didn't so here she gets her own post

Sada is hard to talk about because I’ve written about her in one of my general headcanons posts and I don’t want to retread old ground but I also feel the need to clarify that there are generally one of two ways that Sada posting can go.

Sada was burned in the past by Arven’s father, who left soon after his birth, so she was incredibly hesitant to reenter the dating scene. However, when she met you, having bumped into you by complete accident, she decided to take the risk in pursuing a relationship, and you saw no reason to turn her down.

And it’s great to have you around, as she loves you dearly, but you being in the picture, along with her darling son, only pushed her further over the edge, as she became even more determined to find paradise for her newly found family. All she wanted was the best for the both of you. With no one to keep her in check, she buried herself within mountains of research, never once stopping to consider the effects of that kind of behavior. To her, being away for the moment, even if it was hard on the two of you, was worth it in the long run.

It fell to you, as the person who she loved above all else, to confront her about her workaholic tendencies. You begged and pleaded with her in the hopes that maybe, just maybe, your words would get through to her, that she would realize and understand how her actions made you and, especially, her son feel. However, realistically speaking, Sada was likely already too far off the rails to listen to reason, but that’s angsty, and I’m not in too much of an angsty mood right now.

Instead, let’s focus on a Sada who actually listened to you, one that realized the amount of harm her actions caused and that it ultimately wasn’t worth it, because creating the perfect world for her family meant nothing if she was never around to begin with. And so, she begins to spend far less time in Area Zero, if not pulling out of the hell hole completely, and begins to focus on living with you and Arven in the moment.

For the most part, you’re a normal family. Just a mother, her son, her new wife, a weird prehistoric dog, and a regular dog. A perfectly average family not riddled with trauma and abandonment. Most of your days are spent looking after little Arven and his puppy, playing and taking care of him until Sada arrives home in the late evening, where she finds the two of you preparing dinner together. She always walks through the door, shouting out “I’m home!” while waiting for Arven to run up and tell her about the day the two of you had.

Her days off are always spent with the two of you. Should the weather allow it, you spend the whole day outside, roaming the wilderness. You have a picnic in a scenic locale, the two of you lounging on the blanket while Arven and Maschiff run around in the grass until he pulls you both up to come and play with him. Eventually, as all kids do, he tires himself out, signaling the end of the day. You pack up your belongings and begin the long walk home, Arven already asleep in Sada’s arms.

Every now and then, Clavell takes care of Arven for the night so the two of you can spend some time together. Sada isn’t the most romantic person in the world, but she is charismatic and incredibly bold. Due to often being recognized in public, she prefers to spend date nights inside, having a nice dinner with wine and cuddling on the couch, which quickly turns to making out as you both ignore the shitty movie playing in the background. Just normal parent things.

To most people’s surprise, Sada is a massive nerd. It should be expected, honestly, considering that she is a professor and has some massive accomplishments under her belt. She’s a huge history buff, and will effortlessly crush the expectations of others, perceiving her to be a suave individual, by rambling on about incredibly minute historical details for hours on end. She’s like Raifort in this regard, but in, like, a different flavor.

ALSO, she loves to ramble about her family. If she, for whatever reason, doesn’t feel like rambling about history to the people around her, she will instead ramble about you two, because have you seen her beautiful wife? Her incredibly talented culinary son? Oh, don’t worry, she has more than enough time to stay and chat for a while, and also has plenty of pictures to show, as well.

The above absolutely kills Arven, because Sada regularly drops by the Academy, giving her the perfect chance to talk to various staff about her family, which leads to many students overhearing these conversations. The boy already has to put up with people loudly simping over his moms, but now he has to deal with people teasing him about these conversations, as she often divulges details (and photos) from his formative years.

And I know this post is about Sada, but I can’t talk about Sada without talking about Arven. When you start dating the woman, she’ll introduce you to her son, and, at first, he’s pretty shy, hiding behind her legs and only peeking his head out occasionally to look at you. Overtime, he’ll get more comfortable around you, enough to not feel the urge to run away and hide when you look in his general direction.

Slight angst posting, when you first meet Arven, it’s when Sada’s still engrossed in Area Zero, meaning he spends most of the time on his own with Maschiff. Obviously, you can’t just leave the boy to fend for himself while Sada’s away, so you progressively spend more and more time with him, to the point that he sees you as more of a mom than his biological one. He was the reason you had to confront Sada about her behavior to begin with, as you could only take the young boy asking if it was his fault that mom was away for so long before breaking.

Anyways, just because I want to give Arven a better family life by bringing his mom back to normalcy and giving him a loving stepmom at  the same time doesn’t mean I won’t make him suffer. As stated, people simp over Sada and you, once they learn of your existence, of course. Poor thing has two milfs for parents, and he has to deal with people bringing it up constantly. Having both of your unconditional support is great, and getting to see Sada on a semi-regular basis while living at the Academy is nice and all, but he would sacrifice so much to escape simping hell, if only for a few moments.

Listen she’s just broken aND I CAN FIX HER

[notanotherinfjblog]

Inferior Fe

@majikal137 I'm going to answer your question on this old post here for simplicity reasons:

Hi. As a Fe aux user, how do you think about behaviors of Fe inferior?

I'm actually very familiar with behaviours of inferior Fe since my father is an INTP and my stepfather an ISTP, and it's quite interesting actually. Fe is by far the most obvious function in people, regardless of its position in the functions stack. It always shines through, even in IxTPs. They can be quite good at analysing and understanding other people through an Fe lens, though ISTPs tend to be a lot better at that than INTPs in my experience, probably due to being more observant of other people thanks to their Se, while INTPs prefer to get lost inside their own Ne-wired minds. Still, IxTPs usually display the same viewpoints on Fe politeness as FJs, just in a more chill way (such as we're here as a group, not as individuals, or I don't like you, but I will be polite and civil, or a general aversion against conflict). And they usually understand Fe behaviour in FJs without any issues, even when they may think that the FJ is needlessly exaggerating something. They get it. What they don't get is how to talk to people. I don't mean this in a mean way, but I think it's quite funny how IxTPs understand high Fe, but don't understand why their own behaviour can make FJs mad. They aren't as willing to go with the flow and compromise as FJs are and just stubbornly do their own thing instead. They don't emote like FJs do and they don't freely express their emotions, typically because they are not in touch with them at all. You as an outside person are often more likely to know how an IxTP is feeling than the IxTP themselves. My INTP dad can stomp his foot and angrily mutter to himself and slam doors etc. and then be confused when other people assume that he's angry. He doesn't know. He wasn't aware. It has to be brought to his attention (which is also a very Fe thing: you need to see yourself through other people's eyes). But the thing is, high Fe wants emotions from other people. My ESFJ mother still talks about that time when we were on holiday and reached the top of a mountain and how she could have shouted out into the world how beautiful the view is and how happy she is to be there with all of us. Meanwhile my INTP dad went "Yeah. It looks nice." Twenty years later and my mother still says she could have killed him right then and there. She wanted him to join her in her euphoria. She wanted to ride that feeling with someone. That's what high Fe is all about. Connecting emotionally. Melting into one another, becoming one. But you can't tickle emotional highs and lows out of an IxTP. They are not cold or unfeeling. They just aren't aware. You can burst into tears in front of them and they will have no idea what is happening and why or what to say, but they will simply go for a warm hug and hope that's enough (for me, it always was). It's a constant confusion, but they get the gist. That's the thing with our inferior functions: they make sense to us when we see them in higher positions in other people. They don't feel foreign. They're not necessarily something we particularly care about, but they don't feel alien to us. Using them just feels a bit like a wet piece of soap that's slipping through your fingers. It's tangible. You know its use, its purpose, you know how it works in theory. You're just really bad at it. That's how I feel about inferior Fe behaviours. Seeing it in action in IxTPs feels like listening to a twelve-year-old explaining astrophysics to me.

[the-travelling-witch]

Hello! I'm sending this to my favorite writers to enable you to brag about your own writings! (But don't feel pressured to reply and take your time!) :D

Pick one fic you wrote and would recommend to us readers for each of these genres:

Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/No Comfort, AU (any AUs!), Selfship (If you selfship!), [Insert a genre you've written but is not in the list].

Have fun, and just a reminder to always be proud of what you created!! You're amazing!! We love you!!! 💗

Extra // Feel free to ramble on why the fic is your favorite, whatever thinking process you have when you wrote it, which part(s) are your favorite, etc!!

ahhhh this is such a cool ask to get, thank you so much!! also your favourite writers? and that includes me of all people??? don’t mind me, someone might be cutting onions in here 🥺🩵

i hope you don’t mind me rambling, i might have gotten a little carried away ^^; (i’ve also not really heeded the one per genre rule, i’m just bad at picking one or the other hshsh)

Fluff

one of each huh? i think we’re already running into a problem on the fluff genre, i don’t really have anything to recommend, i’m afraid; none of them really stand out to me personally (that aren’t aus or so), so i’d much rather talk more about my other works

Hurt / Angst

now to hop into the categories i really like talking about, hurt and angst!! :D out of anything comfort related, i think i like my period comfort scenarios for both obey me and twst. i wrote them to alleviate my own pains in a way, but it’s great to see other people getting comfort from them as well (also to all my folks who told me you felt included by the gn reader instead of a fem reader, i see you and i love you)

with the mushy gushy stuff out of the way, let’s dive into my absolute favourite genre to write ever, angst (no comfort hehe ^^); here’s the problem to not list too many fics but i’ll use my spare from not naming a fluff fic :]

long-time ramble and tag readers will know what to expect; what could’ve been is the first angst fic i really got into and could’ve easily been a series if i had thought about it at the time. while looking back on it, sure there are things i could’ve done better, but it still has a soft spot in my heart and despite the low notes, it’s the fic i got the best feedback on ever (those asks, comments and reblogs are so precious to me, you have no idea)

similarly a million miles away and the loneliest (same premise, different characters) are some of my favourites too. overall, in its entirety, i prefer the former, i think most parts in there came out very well. however, if i had to pick one part out of all eight that i would recommend, it’s xiao’s part from the loneliest, it didn’t gather as much attention as part 1 but my friends left so many amazing comments in my document and i myself love how it came out, which makes it so special to me

Selfships + OCs

while i do selfship, i hardly ever write about it on here (or much in general outside some hcs i pester some moots with); for one, i find it hard to write about, my thoughts seem to leave me the second i try to type them out. i also don’t think many people are interested in the topic anyway and i hate feeling like i’m shouting into a void (i’m trying to keep a lid on how much i babble on dash anyhow, with varying amounts of success ^^;)

i thought i read ocs on the list, so i’ll include them, as well, especially since i have a little more to say than about selfships, considering i post about some of them every now and then. dantalion and his story part have a special place in my heart, not only because he was the first oc i introduced, but also bc his part resonates with me most, i think. while not seen much of yet, i also took a liking to my twst oc cheron, i think he’s fun!! (ofc i like my other obey me ocs too but these two are ranked a little higher hshshs)

AUs

this one… might be obvious. i think we can all see the modern au coming from a mile away (perhaps even from a million miles away haha). it’s kind of the only au i have really going on but, even so, there’s a reason my inbox fills up the second i mention it. though, when i wrote that piercer! xiao fic all that time ago, the au wasn’t even a thing in my mind yet, funny how that works. it’s currently on a bit of a hiatus but it’s certainly not dead ^^;

more excitingly however, and as a treat for the people who’ve read this far into me rambling about my own writing, the aus in my drafts!! i want to work on all of them (and then work on none of them)

the oldest of the three i’m thinking about is my haikyuu isekai au. i’m 10k into the draft (plus like 2k notes) and i still think the premise and plot is super fun (i was thinking/hoping it would end up somewhere between 20k and 25k) buuut the problem is i’m currently stuck on one scene that’s just not turning out fun at all, so i’ve been neglecting it ever since ^^;

second on the list of aus that occupy my mind is my twst pokemon au!! this one is more recent but i’ve been enjoying doing world building for it + the people i’ve let read over my first draft of a intro seem to have liked it too!! i’ll have to give more intense and focused thought to brainstorming the story we’d be follow, but i get excited every time i think about it hehe

and lastly, the most recent thing i worked on, an au for barbarian bakugo and… well i won’t say anything on the identity of the reader yet. it is a little enemies to lovers and i have already planned out part 2 in my head despite not even remotely finishing part 1. it doesn’t help that the book i’m reading rn evolves the same themes and makes me think about it every time i look at it or pick it back up :]

(there’s also an au i might want to write for mermay but idk if i can finish it in time + the bakugo au weighs heavy on my mind rn hshsh)

as a last point, i’m also keeping in mind that i had an event planned!! i haven’t finalised it yet and haven’t given much thought to my own entries but maybe i can get there some day (perhaps towards the end of the year?) ^^

anyway, thank you so much for indulging me and prompting me to talk about my writing, as you can probably tell, i love doing that haha and thank you again for the kind words, it really means the world to me <3

if you have any questions or thoughts on any of these, feel free to ask me!! i’d be happy to talk about any of this :> (though i can’t promise fast replies…)

[jlilycorbie]

Didn't See Any of This Coming

Late at night on Thursday, October 19, I drove myself to the emergency room. I fully expected to be treated and released, and after I saw triage just barely after midnight, it looked like exactly what would happen.

Instead, my entire life changed.

I went in for an abscess in an embarrassing location, which shouldn't have stopped me from seeking treatment earlier, but absolutely did. I figured they'd open and drain it, put me on some IV antibiotics, then send me on my way with a prescription for oral antibiotics. And for a while, that looked like exactly what would happen.

At least, until someone came into the room to ask me, "Are you diabetic?"

"Not as far as I know," I said.

"Did you know your blood sugar is 330?"

I've known for a long time things weren't great with my health, but I didn't see that one coming. Honestly, I was hoping whatever was wrong would kill me, preferably painlessly and in my sleep, within the next five to ten years.

That was already my first trip to the ER as an adult. What followed were a lot more firsts.

First IV.

First person who has seen my butt as an adult (a number that unfortunately kept climbing).

First CT scan.

First minor surgery (lidocaine is weak, I felt almost all of it).

First admission to a hospital.

First time taking insulin.

First major surgery under general anesthesia.

First time receiving fentanyl (or any opioid). After all the hype on the news, I thought that should be good, and instead it did absolutely nothing. Found out afterward that my dad and grandfather both got morphine a few times after surgery or in the ER for injuries and it did nothing for either of them. Just my luck to come up with chronic pain and a resistance to opioids.

I've suspected for a while that I have an autoimmune disorder, though I don't know which one. And a collagen disorder, probably EDS, but not sure which one. I've heard all the nightmare stories about fighting for diagnosis, so it was a little unsettling to mention autoimmune disorders and have every single medical professional say, "Yeah, that sounds right." Or to do my stupid human tricks (bending fingers and moving my trachea only, I never got far) and have people immediately go, "Yup, that's a collagen disorder."

Also, surprise! I have a heart murmur.

Shout out to my liver and kidneys, apparently the only organs in my body quietly doing their jobs without any drama.

The following days were frustrating. Everyone was eager to explain what diabetes is to me, but not what I needed to do. People kept mentioning that I had a sliding scale for my insulin, but no one would tell me what that meant. A diabetes educator would be coming to my room to explain it to me, so they didn't need to tell me anything.

After surgery, I never saw the surgeon again. No followup of any kind. Also absolutely no pain management. Before surgery, someone would occasionally offer me Tylenol. Afterward, I didn't even get that. It's apparently acceptable to leave a patient in so much pain she doesn't sleep for more than 36 hours, and after the 24 hour mark, you can offer melatonin.

Honestly, I don't think Tylenol would have helped, but a few throat lozenges would have made a huge difference in my world.

No one ever really explained or showed me how to care for the open wound left after surgery. The wound is located somewhere that is very difficult for me to see or reach, especially both at once. One person told me, "Just take a corner of gauze and poke, poke, poke it into the hole, but not too far, because you don't want to make the wound worse." When a nurse pointed out the difficulty of seeing the location, wound care sent a hand mirror smaller than my palm.

The doctor gave discharge orders, but the nurse at the time didn't want to let me go because the diabetes educator still hadn't come. I didn't know exactly when to take my blood sugar or insulin or how much to take. Because no one would tell me. So the nurse talked me into staying an extra night.

The doctor and several nurses also said someone with the hospital's social services would come talk to me about handling the bill and about getting a primary care physician because after 12 years without one, I can't keep not going to a doctor.

Neither the diabetes educator nor anyone from social services ever came to my room. I finally got a frustrated nurse to explain the sliding scale for insulin to me and when I should take my blood sugar and when I should take insulin. The next nurse diligently avoided me at all times until she announced I was getting discharged, better get ready. I stayed an extra night for literally no reason, for help that never came.

A pharmacist called me to tell me the doctor had ordered a glucometer and some other supplies for me, but my insurance had a really high copay on them, and she wanted me to know that I could buy them way cheaper on my own if I'd like to do that. When she found out that no one had explained most things to me, she was outraged. She spent a long time on the phone with me, explaining everything that she could. Bless that woman. I've told everyone who would listen her name and that she was so helpful when I was desperate and alone.

I got discharged just like that. I didn't get any written aftercare instructions from my surgery. I still don't know if I'm caring appropriately for my wound. I have a followup scheduled for three weeks after my discharge. I have since reached out, and people will apologize, but no one will give me the information I need.

I left the hospital terrified and confused. I'm used to figuring things out on my own, but the repeated promises of help that never came almost broke me completely.

I got two different types of insulin in reusable pens. No one had shown me that type of pen or how to use them. I had to figure it out by myself after I was home.

After I got home, someone from social services did call me. I had an appointment for the next day with a diabetes educator...who heard about me for the very first time after I was discharged, when social services called him and he immediately arranged an appointment for me.

Also, no one ever told social services they needed to talk to me about anything. They arranged an appointment with a primary care physician. It was written in my discharge paperwork, but no one told me.

The diabetes educator was actually pretty helpful. Turns out I'd gotten about half the information I needed about when and how to take my insulin. Since he gave me a different sliding scale and more instructions, I've actually kept my blood sugar consistently under 150, and mostly between 110 and 135.

I did tell him that the last time I saw a doctor, he dismissed all of my concerns to pressure me to join his high intensity weight loss program. At the time, I weighed around 300 lbs. I figured before I could get real help, I needed to wait until I was old enough, thin enough, or sick enough for people to take me seriously, and in the 12 years since then, I've done my best to take care of myself. When I arrived in the ER, I weighed 208 lbs. I was the sickest and most miserable I've ever been.

He told me he expects me to lose at least 20 lbs by the next time I see him.

[tenderlywicked]

thanks for the WIP game shout-out!

tell us about your TDJ/he is psychometric WIP! based off your snippets, it's a fascinating premise and i'm soooo curious about what happens!

and then tell us about another WIP of your choosing. what're you excited about? anything that's giving you trouble? what's something new you're trying in terms of writing that's working out?

I suspected you might be interested in The Devil Judge fic ;) It's still in bits and pieces, but it's growing. For those who haven't read my previous posts about it:

Kim Gaon has an uncanny ability to read a person or an object’s past through physical contact. Of course Professor Min wants Gaon to use it and pry into Judge Kang’s secrets. Except that, as it turns out, Kang Yohan is the only person Gaon can’t see through. So he has to rely on indirect evidence…which is confusing.

There will be two parts, the first one will be from Kim Gaon's point of view and the second one from Kang Yohan's. Here's a snippet from the second part :)

...In their year of separation, Yohan seems to have forgotten some things about Kim Gaon. Or maybe it’s something like elective amnesia: he has chosen to forget the most annoying parts about their interactions. Namely, Gaon’s tendency to notice the very things Yohan would rather he didn’t—and to start prying, immediately, instead of feigning polite ignorance, like most people would do.

But of course it doesn’t take Gaon long to remind Yohan about it.

Generally, Yohan wouldn’t mind being ogled when he’s mostly naked, just back from the shower with a very meager towel around his hips—he keeps himself fit, so there is something to look at. But Gaon, still in bed, propped up on his elbow, clearly stares at nothing else but a ragged scar on Yohan’s abdomen. And even points at it.

“Is it from the explosion?”

Doesn’t Gaon know it’s rude to talk of someone’s imperfections? Especially Yohan’s imperfections.

“Ah, this. No. That’s from when Sunah’s bodyguard shot me.” He tries a diversion, hoping for a change of topic: “That’s the reason I couldn’t get to the slums myself to help you. I could only make a call.”

It distracts Gaon for a moment indeed. His expression becomes stunned. “So it was you. You called Soohyun.” After a pause, he adds much more quietly, “I didn’t know you were shot.”

“It wasn’t that bad. Even the scar would have been neater, but I ripped the stitches when I was arrested.”

“Judge Kang is such a tough man. Surely, he won’t need painkillers just to renew a few stitches. But if he does, he only has to ask nicely.” Which had probably meant he should beg. He hadn’t.

Now it all seems almost funny. “It turned out to my favor, actually. They had to take me to the prison infirmary first. It would have been awkward if I bled out right after the arrest. They would prefer if <i>an accident</i> happened instead. An unknown inmate killing a judge who was maybe responsible for his sentence—it would have been a plausible explanation for my sudden and tragic death. But the visit to the infirmary saved me some time. There were only two attempts at killing me in the end. I expected more.”

He’d rather proud of how he’s handled it. He wishes Gaon could have seen both fights at Junbu Detention Center. Gaon had seemed to enjoy how he’d ripped through Jukchang’s acolytes with a baseball bat; that’s what makes Yohan want to brag. But at the same time, with distaste for himself, he recognizes this yearning for admiration…as insecurity. Look how good I am, at least at this. So don’t look at what might repel you, not now, not yet.

It’s deplorable how much he longs to keep Gaon in his bed, like this, unselfconscious of his own nudity. It had been both a surprise and not so much—how quickly things had progressed in that direction, all because of Yohan reaching out to poke at Gaon’s hand with the tips of his fingers and asking, simply to tease him, “Feel nothing still?” As it had turned out, Gaon had felt quite a lot, just not of a memory-reading kind. If he’d ever had a sexual identity crisis, along with other crises Yohan had put him through, a year of reflections must have put an end to it.

So Yohan takes advantage of it, an opportunist as he is. He will have this for as long as he can. But he knows all too well: when humans lose what they thought they had, they lose their minds too, so it’s better not to think of it as something really long-lasting.

He’s both relieved that Gaon is still unable to read his mind—and unnerved by constant anticipation because someday he might. It’s not like Yohan hasn’t warned him of every unattractive trait he has, but there are things that make you see a person differently, no matter if they are incriminating or not. He’s been crafting his image for so long, cutting off all the unbecoming edges, that he can’t be sure how Gaon sees him. Maybe as some mythical creature, something between a hero, a villain, and a vengeful demon. You can have sex with mythical creatures if you’re daring enough, but not a relationship, not really. He’s waiting for Gaon to realize that.

P.S. As for my other WIPs, I suspect I might finish my Doctor Who story first. There will be a lot of angst, as always. And some kinky stuff too :) I keep alternating between fics, though, so they progress a bit unevenly.

[recurring-polynya]

I know you don't like pregnancy and all things to do with it in regards to talking about it or writing about it-- but do you dislike Ichika? Or is she a character you don't quite like to write?

I actually don't have any problems with pregnancy stuff, at least not the technicalities of it. I'm definitely not into the romanticizing of it, which is usually what people want.

Ichika is deeply uninteresting to me. We've hardly seen anything of her in canon. She seems to have a fairly similar personality to Rukia and Renji, except that their bullheadedness and shouting comes out of the fact that they had to work their way up from nothing and are constantly trying to prove themselves. Without any sort of similar motivations, Ichika just comes off as sort of a brat, but then again, we've seen very little of her, so who knows. I don't really love that shinigami are able to have biological (sort of?) children, and I would have preferred it if they couldn't.

Here is the real reason I don't want to write about Ichika:

I love my kids, but parenting in America today is a grueling, lonely, and largely thankless enterprise. Without getting into it too deeply, I have a lot of issues about loss of identity and value as a person that came with motherhood, which I was not able to work out in therapy. Fandom is a place where I have been able to carve out some space for myself and my interests. I think Rukia and Renji have cool personalities and interesting backstories and complex motivations and I've spent a lot of time thinking about them and writing long, intricate stories about them and learning to draw them. When people say to me "yeah, that's great, but could you write about a generic kid character, I think she's really cute!" it does not make me feel good.

This is very much a me problem. Other people like Ichika, and back when I was taking requests, I would always get tons and tons of requests about her. For a while, I tried to work through this by writing stories that reflected my own experiences with parenthood, instead of the cutesy shit that makes up most kidfic. I do like to write stuff people like, and I especially like to write stuff *for* people I like. I never felt any better about it though, progressively worse, actually, and it feels extra crummy that these fics tend to end up on the more popular end of stuff that I write. Also, a lot of the requests (the ones I didn't write), were clearly fishing for the cutesy shit and it would just really upset me to get that in my askbox constantly. The upshot is, I just won't do it any more, because I don't want to. I have written enough Ichika stories. If someday, I have an idea for an Ichika story I want to write, I'll just write it, but that's on me.

[demcnsinmymind]

KNOWING YOUR PARTNER WELL CAN POTENTIALLY MAKE WRITING TOGETHER A LOT EASIER. ( REPOST DO NOT REBLOG ! )

○    name: Veri (short for veritaaas) is the nickname I usually roll with :)

○    pronouns: she/her.

○    preference of communication: tumblr ims tbh. I do have a disco but we also use disco for work so it generally stresses me out to see it blink/make noises

○     name of muse(s): Lance, Azathoth, Kiara (@thatevester)

○    experience/how long (months/years?): writing in German in general since late elementary school, English fanfic writing since 2012, RPing since 2018

○    platforms you’ve used: livejournal (lol), tumblr, disco

○    best experience: coming back after a 4 year break last year and still having some loyal mutuals left (once again shout out to awesome peops like @greatwrath and @orphanedshadow), while at the same time making a lot of new friends and dearly beloved mutuals. I just LOVE writing with you guys!

○    rp pet peeves / dealbreakers: It just upsets me so much when people start following first, only to then never bother interacting in any way whatsover. be that sending in a meme from my meme tag that is always there to choose from and easily accessible, or replying to opens or liking the permanent starter call. Like, all that stuff is in my pinned post and super easy to find and access both on a pc or on mobile. It literally takes like two clicks and a copy paste and here we go, we’re rolling. And especially if you’re too shy to start up an IM conversation/plotting first - it’s so easy to get something started by just sending something in without comment. I’ll be more than happy to reply and wing it and start developing something from there. But to have people follow you who can’t be bothered to get anything started for weeks, if not months and always having to be the one to start things first only to see your efforts to reach out be ignored as well, is seriously discouraging. If you don’t have time to actually interact or aren’t interested after all, don’t get my hopes up and don’t start following me first. It is as simple as that. I get excited every time I gain a new follower because I assume they’re interested and I’m super looking forward to getting something  started with their character soon. But if I’m just there to boost a number, well, no thanks. I’ll softblock sooner or later. And if you’re too shy to start something first, my posts and IMs are always open to give me a heads up. Then I’ll be more than happy to write you something first. But then again, that’s what the starter call is already for, that takes just one click on a heart and that’s it, so I seriously don’t get a complete lack of interaction. It’s not really about who starts something first, it’s more about a complete lack of effort/communication/interest on one side. Sorry for the rant haha.

○    fluff, angst, or smut: angst > smut > fluff. Though I admit my blog could use a little more fluff and comedy every now and then

○    plots or memes: truth be told, I’m super into winging stuff. I write based on emotions and how I feel and think in a moment, I’m not much one to plan far ahead and just keep talking about writing for a while instead of just doing it. I simply get to excited to just start writing right away :D HOWEVER, if people require some plotting first, I’ll be more than happy to do so. My goal is to build fun character relationships and developments over time too. I just get there differently most of the time.

○    long or short replies: looks at the blog. Laughs. I can’t do short replies for the life of me, though once again, I’ll be more than happy to try much harder and keep it short if my partner asks for it. Personally, I just have much more fun exploring thoughts and emotions, so my replies tend to get heavy on the descriptive and heavy inner monologue but sparse on the written dialogue.

○    best time to write: night owl through and through. Sometimes I get started around 8pmish (GMT+1), most of the time I won’t get started before midnight. My most creative and active phase is between 2-4am though tbh.

○    are you like your muse(s): I think I actually am in a lot of ways. I think I’m a bit friendlier/kinder and more polite and empathic, but other than that, I can be a pretty selfish, workaholic bitch as well if I want to be. Also we’re both filmmaking nerds who dig the paranormal, so...🤷

tagged by : @ebonyforged <3 tagging: @innerwar @adeathsentence @thesoulofasurvivor @therebekahmikaelson @bitchheroine and whoever else wants to do the thang

[havnblog]

Waste Your Money on Things That Last

A Defence of Buying Things

A couple of years ago, I was working full time as a teacher. And even though the pay in that profession is far too low, I was still quite comfortable (economically). However, the last few years, I’ve had way less spending power. I wanted to take a master’s degree, which (sadly, and luckily) led to my mind sort of rupturing, and me getting diagnosed with ADHD.1 Now I’m learning how I really work, while trying to get a freelance lifestyle up and running. I’m lucky in that I know that I can get a teacher job if I like (and need) to.2 And even luckier: I’m in a position where I can survive on less income for a while. So, we’ll see what the future holds – but nonetheless: Currently, I don’t have a lot of money to waste.

Some notes on privilege:

I live in a wealthy country, with plenty of social security, and come from a middle-class background. And the reason I talk about 'not having money to waste' instead of 'being poor' (even though I don't have a lot of income), is that I still have everything I need (and more). So I do know that I'm very privileged! However, I hope the principles I'm trying to get across can be relevant for several levels of affluence.

I’m not saying it’s wrong to spend your money on things like holidays and experiences. And you can absolutely argue that these things last in their own way! But I just wanted to give a little shout-out to something I feel like gets recommended less than those.

Pre-purchased luxury

If my “luxury” habits (you know, from when I worked as a teacher 😅) consisted of things like going to restaurants a lot, which is expensive here in Norway, going to my current lifestyle would be a large downgrade. However, here are some things I’m glad that I bought, as I still get great enjoyment from the money I spent.

“Re-usable” entertainment

Personally, I, in general, don’t love rewatching movies and TV shows. So in terms of “entertaining hours per krone”, other forms give me more bang for the buck. As probably many others, I have a way too large backpack of video games – on both Mac and Switch. I also have plenty of board games. Some of them I haven’t tried, and most of them have tons of plays left in them.

Equipment

Even though it’s not the latest and greatest, I have more technical equipment than I need. I also have what I need to work on music, go outside, build and repair things around the house, etc.

Well-made clothes and items

But this post was originally inspired by how lucky I felt, being able to put on clothes I love (that keep me warm and dry), and use good backpacks etc., that I’ve invested in a long time ago.

I like slow fashion (in opposition to fast fashion). And the two most important principles here, are things that have the quality to last, and a timeless style that works for years.

Style is, of course, subjective – but personally, I like things inspired by workwear and classic fits. However, I have more advice when it comes to:

Spotting quality

Construction (how they’re made) and materials (what they’re made of) are, much, much more significant than where they’re made.

Go for things made of (preferably only) natural materials, like cotton, wool, linen, leather, etc., and constructed in a way that makes them repairable.

When it comes to brands, it can be a good idea to go for small brands with close relations to the factory. I’d also primarily buy a brand’s core competency: Know-how when it comes to making jackets doesn’t necessarily translate to making shoes.

What you want, is to find things where the people who made it were provided great materials and the time to do it properly. Sadly, this happens more often in some countries than others, so where it’s made can be an indication. But it’s absolutely not a given! For instance, there are people running (more or less) sweatshops in Italy and the US, and you have brands like Grant Stone making items of top quality in China. See this thread for more on this!

Here’s what I wore yesterday:

For those who are interested:

You can’t see my T-shirt, but it’s a white loop-wheeled cotton T-shirt, from Warehouse.

You can’t see my baseball cap, from Poten, either.

The jumper is a wool jumper from the Norwegian brand Hunting Lodge.

The vest is a wool vest from Filson.

The watch is a Vostok Amphibia.

The jeans are from Tender, and the only thing I bought on holiday to Stockholm this summer.

I have socks from Decka, in mocs from Rancourt.

I know these things are costly, and not something everyone can afford! But by buying used, and by buying less, most people can push up the quality of the items they own. “Own fewer better things” is always* good advice.

Winter is coming – and in Norway, that matters. So I’m glad I already have both boots, a raincoat (for layering), thick wool shirts, etc.! So even though I don’t have much money to waste these days, I’m glad I wasted the money I had on things that last. I’m still living in abundance.

Which was absolutely a good thing! I want to write more on this later. ↩︎

I also miss students! ↩︎

[coffeeandfaeries]

The Vampire Diaries: The Struggle - A book review

L. J. Smith

I have once again read this book in one sitting. I am for some reason REALLY into this series. I didn’t expect to enjoy it as much as I did. But then again, I was obsessed with TVD (the show) as a teen so it makes sense. But the books somehow have more likable characters. Don’t get me wrong I think the cast did an amazing job, but I wish they didn’t change some characters, Elena and Bonnie in particular.

Even though Bonnie in the books can be a bit annoying because she’s often way too nice, I like her better than the TV Show version of her. I feel like Bonnie in the show was often rude and stubborn. I can understand why they changed Elena, to a certain extent. I wouldn’t be surprised if they wanted the main character to be a bit more “palatable”, but instead they made her into this whiny, useless character. If I recall correctly, Rebekah actually points that out. Although, Elena on the show was unbelievably self-centered. I don’t know a lot of people who genuinely liked her character.

I do have to warn you, I will be comparing the books to the show pretty often. I’m also team Stefan. Well, in the books at least. I definitely preferred Damon on the show. So if that bothers you, you probably shouldn’t waste your time reading thirteen reviews.

Yes. I’ve decided to finish this series. Even though L. J. Smith got fired after writing seven books. She wrote books 1-7, then an anonymous ghost writer wrote books 8-10, and Aubrey Clark wrote the last 3 books. L. J. Smith was hired to write The Vampire Diaries, unfortunately she didn’t realize what contract she was signing. If I recall correctly, she didn’t understand what “work for hire” meant. So, while the books were copyrighted to her, she didn’t actually own the books, she couldn’t publish anything without the approval of Alloy Entertainment. She wanted Elena to end up with Damon, Alloy didn’t. So they fired her and got somebody else to write the books. While I don’t like Damon personally, at least so far, maybe she’ll give him a redemption arc, I can’t imagine how horrible it would feel to spend years working on a book series just for that to be taken away. All because someone didn’t like my story.

Anyway, time to start talking about this book. Four hundred words into the review and I’m finally starting to talk about the actual book.

As we remember from the previous book, Elena is shouting Damon’s name trying to get his attention. One thing I gotta say is I do respect Elena’s cockiness, like nothing says teenager in love than acting like you have nine lives. She’s threatening Damon, acting like she could overpower him in any way. Ma’am, he could kill you before you even have the time to react.

Damon is still trying to win her over, he’s comparing her to Katherine. Saying she’s already powerful even as a human and how she would be unstoppable if she was a vampire. Honestly, I do agree with him. Vampire Elena would be amazing. I’m pretty sure Elena will become a vampire pretty soon. I know she didn’t become a vampire in the show until the fourth season. I wonder if she’d be more excited to be a vampire in the book. Another thing that hasn’t been discussed in the books yet is the “switch” vampires in the show have. For those who don’t know, vampires have some sort of switch in their head that, when flipped, turns off their empathy and emotions in general. Essentially turns them into a monster. However, I have noticed that vampires in the book have slightly different powers, like being able to turn into an animal and control the weather. So there is a pretty good chance the “switch” doesn’t exist in the books. If that’s the case then I have no idea how Damon is going to get a redemption arc. Especially since he was a bad person even before he became a vampire.

While Damon was trying to talk her into leaving Stefan and joining him he said this: You’re the girl who has everything else, but there’s always been something just out of your reach, something you need desperately, but can’t have. So… She’s just spoiled? Damn, first world problems. All jokes aside, he’s not wrong. Nothing ever satisfies Elena, she said so herself. The moment she gets something, or someone, she is already bored of it. The only reason she wanted Stefan so badly was because he wasn’t paying attention to her. For the first time in her life she didn’t immediately get something she wanted. I feel like the fact everything is so easy for her is partially the reason she always wants more. She’s never had to work for anything, it always just falls into her lap.

Also, throughout this entire encounter, and a couple of times in the past, Damon has been trying to use his powers to compel her, but it’s not working. She’s successfully resisted them almost every time. I know that she hasn’t been drinking vervain and doesn’t have it on her anywhere. So how is she doing this? It wasn’t explained in this book, but I think she is just strong-willed. I don’t think there’s anything more to it, but I did find it interesting nonetheless.

This book came out in 1991, A Game of Thrones: A Song of Ice and Fire came out in 1996. Therefore Winter is coming is originally from TVD. G. R. R. Martin apparently was inspired by 15th century Scotland. So I like to think that Damon met the characters from GoT and they decided to steal the phrase from him. Or perhaps G. R. R. Martin is a big fan of the vampire diaries and just really wanted to use the phrase in one of his books.

Damon told Elena that she should give up and join her because Stefan is dead anyway To which she said: If Stefan was dead, she would know. How? Literally how. Did I miss the chapter in which Elena discovered her psychic gifts?

Elena starts running, looking for Stefan. But then she stops, lays down on the ground, covered in snow and says she has no reason to look for Stefan because Stefan will look for her. She falls asleep and Meredith and Bonnie find her, passed out, covered with snow. They take her home, Elena is still in a delirious state, saying she needs to go back and look for Stefan. Understandably, Aunt Judith, Robert (her fiancé), Meredith and Bonnie are against it, and decide they need to stay with her to make sure she doesn’t try to run away in the middle of the night.

But Elena is relentless, she is not going to give up on Stefan. So she asks Bonnie to use her abilities to find Stefan. Bonnie lights a candle and tells Elena and Meredith to focus on Stefan and not say anything, no matter what. Bonnie was channeling Stefan, he’s in water, it’s cold and he’s thirsty and tired. At one point Bonnie says Stefan feels like he should just end his life. And, of course, Elena screams No, breaking the one and only rule Bonnie had. Bonnie is willing to put her life out on a line for Elena, who doesn’t care about anyone other than Stefan.

Then a voice starts speaking through Bonnie, saying to stay away from the Wickery Bridge. The girls assume this is Stefan speaking through her and drive straight to the graveyard. Idiots. How have they not noticed by now that whenever Bonnie channels a message it’s never a positive one and something bad happens every time?

They go to the bridge and Bonnie just feels like something is off. We also find out that Matt followed them, because he knew Elena wouldn’t be able to give up. Honestly, Matt is such a sweetheart I really like him. Sure, he’s a bit of a simp and Elena doesn’t deserve him, but he’s just adorable. Call me boring, but I’d take a guy like Matt over a Stefan or a Damon any day.

Bonnie tells Matt what she saw, he doesn’t really believe her but he helps them find Stefan anyway. He realizes it sounds like he is in a well and drives them to the abandoned well on an abandoned farm. They find Stefan in there, and he looks ROUGH. They take him home insisting he goes to a hospital. Obviously taking a vampire to a hospital would raise some eyebrows so Elena and Stefan are against it. Bonnie, Matt and Meredith keep insisting so Elena compromises. She tells them to go get Bonnie’s sister Mary, who is a nurse, and if Mary says he needs a doctor they’ll take him. This gives Elena the time (and privacy) to give Stefan some of her blood, not a lot, but enough to recover.

I just would like to add one of my favorite quotes from the book, just straight up copy-paste this from my notes. Any additional commentary is unnecessary.

Maybe you think I’m terrible for loving him, considering what he is. He can be violent, and I know there are some things in his past that he’s ashamed of. But he could never be violent toward me, and the past is over. He has so much guilt and he hurts so much inside. I want to heal him. Ok Bob the Builder.

They go back to school and there’s a new European History teacher. Alaric K. Saltzmann, and he is way too friendly. Immediately he’s like “Yeah, let’s all sit in a circle, talk about our feelings, yadda yadda yadda”. He asks Bonnie about the night when she found Mr. Tanner’s body, and, understandably, she gets very upset while talking and starts sobbing. He apologizes and invites them over to his house. Then says attendance makes up for 50% of the final grade. Yeah, totally not creepy. Imagine your child coming home and telling you that they have to go to a teacher’s house that night or they’ll fail history. I’d be calling the cops on the spot.

I assume that because Alaric is a vampire hunter in the show he will be a vampire hunter in the books too. So the only non-creepy reason I can find for a grown ass man to invite a bunch of students to his home, is to check if any of them are vampires. But, uh, spoiler alert, no that didn’t happen. We didn’t really even get to see Alaric during the house party scene.

But anyway, we’re not even there yet, there’s one more thing that happened while they were in school that I just have to talk about. I have no idea if this is a US thing, or a 90s-00s thing, or, most likely, a media thing, but do people actually care about being popular in High School? Maybe I don’t get it because I wasn’t popular in High School, but I can’t understand breaking up with your partner because they’re not “cool” enough and are “ruining your reputation”. You’re a senior, chances are, you are never going to see the other students again after you leave for college. So who cares? Sure you’re not gonna be popular, but you still have friends? Like this quote in particular: It might be better if we didn’t see each other for a while. If they think we’re not together, they’ll leave you alone. Fam, you’re a 500 year old vampire, how do you still have the mentality of a child. I can understand breaking up with someone because they are a suspected murderer, but you know he isn’t. You have met the killer. To be fair, it’s not even Elena’s idea. Stefan is concerned about her public image more so than her.

I know that Stefan was just trying to be considerate because he didn’t want Elena to “suffer” because of him. But Elena wasn’t even being bullied, people were just a bit awkward around her because they think she’s dating a killer. I don’t necessarily blame them, and I do know that we, people in general I mean, love drama and making a big deal out of everything.

Elena‘s aunt Judith really doesn’t like Stefan, and I get it, I wouldn’t want my niece dating a guy who I believe is a killer either. But then again, the cops talked to him and he’s been cleared of all accusations. Also, aunt Judith is referred to as an “older woman”. How old is she exactly? I thought she was in her early 30s. According to the TVD wiki she’s middle aged, older than aunt Jenna in the show. So I’m guessing mid to late 40s?

On top of the issues Elena has with Damon and aunt Judith, Stefan has been acting like an idiot too. He’s extremely weak, weaker than ever and he’s refusing to drink from Elena. Your brother is on the loose, harassing your girlfriend and her friends, and murdering everyone else. If I were you I’d take any blood I can get, especially if it’s gonna help me protect my loved ones, or you know, not get murdered. It doesn’t even matter that Elena’s been keeping Damon’s visits a secret from Stefan, he still knows Damon is in Fell’s Church.

Stefan’s main concern is not being able to stop once he starts drinking from her. So why let him drink straight from the source? When you donate blood you give about 500ml (17oz). Which means she could easily give him a bottle of her blood. Like don’t let him drink straight from you, just fill a cup or something. Problem solved. Author’s need to start writing me as a character in all of their books, I would make the character’s lives so much easier.

Finally, we get to Alaric’s house party. Again, a really weird move from a teacher, but okay. Everyone is pretty awkward around Elena and Stefan, except for Bonnie, Meredith, and Matt, of course. They talk about how strange it was that he had planned a party, but made it look spontaneous. I’m glad they realize this is strange. Elena then goes to get a snack and oh my, who would’ve guessed it! She runs into Damon. Damon immediately starts acting like a weirdo, taking a bite out of some garlic bread Elena had in her mouth, almost kissing her. Stefan gets all cocky trying to threaten Damon. Stefan, sweetie, a child could beat you up now, stay in your lane. Elena drags Stefan out, but on their way out someone slips a piece of paper into Elena’s purse.

It’s a piece of paper from Elena’s diary, and it reads: I want to touch him. More than any boy I’ve ever known. And I know he wants it, too, but he’s holding back on me. I mean yeah that’s pretty personal, but a teenager being attracted to their boyfriend isn’t exactly weird. A bit embarrassing, maybe, but like this isn’t really a good threat. Why this part in particular? Especially since Stefan is dating her, if they weren’t together and the word that Elena was thirsting over a random classmate came out it would be embarrassing. But I’m pretty sure Stefan already knows Elena’s into him.

It’s pretty obvious now that Caroline has the diary. I thought at first that Damon had it, that he was gonna change her diary entries and make it seem like she actually hates Stefan. Then let Stefan “find” the diary and read it. But uh, that doesn’t sound like something Damon would do, it’s kinda childish.

Once Stefan and Elena get home (Stefan’s home) we get a bit of an info-dump, which I don’t necessarily mind because it was all in dialogue. If your boyfriend was a vampire you’d probably have some questions too, so him talking about vampire lore for an hour wouldn’t really be unnatural. The reason I’m mentioning this is because this is the first time vervain was mentioned in the books. It protects humans from succumbing to vampire’s powers.

The next day they find another note, tacked to the office bulletin board. It said: I feel as if someone has hurt him terribly in the past and he’s never gotten over it. But I also think there’s something he’s afraid of, some secret he’s afraid I’ll find out. Seriously, why are these parts of her diary chosen? Again, this is a pretty normal thing to say “Someone hurt my partner in the past, I wonder what happened”. My assumption is that it’s Caroline taunting her. The notes aren’t meant to be humiliating, they’re just supposed to make Elena realize someone has her diary and is planning on using it against her.

I think Vickie turned. Or perhaps she’s being controled by Damon. Nobody has seen her since the night she was attacked. Now she’s back in school, in the middle of the cafeteria, taking her clothes off. She also keeps freaking out whenever she sees Elena and says: You’re the one of them! I saw you! You’re evil! Is Katherine back? Was the gentle girl just a persona she put on?

After the whole Vickie fiasco, Elena tells Bonnie and Meredith to stay away from Damon, and to not invite him in under any circumstance. Bonnie tells Elena she kissed Damon, because of course she did. Then she says the weirdest, yet somehow the most Bonnie thing ever. Killers are sort of romantic. Imagine you’re dying with his hands around your throat. He’d strangle the life out of you, and the last thing you’d see would be his face. Someone keep an eye on Bonnie so she doesn’t fulfill her grandma’s prophecy.

Remember how we talked about vervain a couple of paragraphs ago? Well apparently there’s no vervain in Fell’s Church, at least not during winter. So, Stefan and Matt get in Matt’s car and go on a road trip down south to get some vervain. Honestly, Matt is unbelievable, imagine your ex girlfriend’s new boyfriend comes to you and tells you they need your car so they can go “south” (doesn’t even give you an actual location) to get some weeds for your ex. And you just agree, as long as you can go with them. I’d tell him to go to a flower shop and fuck off from me. But Matt is simply built different. Matt and Stefan are slowly becoming friends. Stefan even said that Elena and Matt are his only friends, the only two people who make him feel comfortable and accepted. I hope their friendship doesn’t get ruined.

For whatever reason, L. J. Smith switches from one POV to another without any warning. There isn’t even a divider, she just starts a new paragraph from another person’s POV. Which makes it difficult to write a cohesive review. How am I meant to do that if we go from two guys in a car to Elena’s dream sequence without a warning?

While Matt and Damon were on the road trip, Elena and Bonnie were planning a sleepover. Not for fun, Elena is worried that now that Bonnie and Damon had kissed, she might become a target. So she thought Bonnie would be safer if Elena was there with her. I’m not sure what Elena could exactly do to protect Bonnie, but alright.

Elena keeps dreaming the same dream again and again. The exact same scene from the beginning of the book is described now, 46% into the book. Almost word for word. Elena and Damon are in the same room and he asks her if she wants to dance. She doesn’t reply, she just laughs and walks away, knowing he’ll follow her. She’s not running, she’s teasing him. He’s trying to get her to forget about Stefan. The first time this happened she remembered him and then woke up. This time Damon managed to bite her, she woke up, screaming, while Damon in his crow form was attacking her. Bonnie’s dad beat him with a broom. King shit.

Damon compelled her to open the window and let him in. But the thing is, she invited Damon into Bonnie’s house in the last book, during the ritual. I can’t remember if I mentioned it in the previous review, but Bonnie taught Elena a ritual she can perform to see who she will marry. You’re supposed to light a candle, put one plate, one fork and one knife on a kitchen table. Then you hold a chair, and when the clock strikes twelve, pull the chair out and say “Come in”. She didn’t realize Damon was there and when she said it, she accidentally invited him in. So… Why did Damon need to compel her to open the window? He can control the weather and shapeshift, but he can’t use his powers to unlock a door?

She asked Bonnie’s dad to take her and Bonnie back to her house. Poor man thought she was suffering from some sort of emotional breakdown so he obliged.

Stefan came back with vervain and gave some of it to her, kept the rest so he could extract oil from the flowers. He notices something is wrong with Elena but she’s still refusing to tell him what’s been going on. He doesn’t even know she lost her diary and someone’s been using it to taunt her. I know Elena thinks she’s protecting Stefan by lying to him about Damon, but if I were him I’d be pretty pissed. She’s putting herself and everyone else in danger. Also, why hasn’t she asked Stefan to tell Bonnie and Meredith his secret? Wouldn’t they be safer if they knew what’s actually going on? They already believe Bonnie is psychic, why wouldn’t they believe in vampires too?

The next morning Elena tells Matt someone’s been sending her parts of diary and she thinks it’s Damon. Bonnie, Matt and Meredith all say that it just doesn’t sound like something a guy would do. It sounds too petty, and Damon doesn’t look like a guy who would be that petty. So they all come to the same conclusion, the only person who would do that is Caroline.

Elena leaves the cafeteria and accidentally overhears Tyler and Caroline talking in one of the empty classrooms. They are planning to use Elena’s diary as proof that Stefan is the killer. They want to announce this during the Founder’s Day parade. To humiliate Elena in front of everyone and get Stefan arrested. In her diary, Elena said that she had lost her ribbon near the Wickery Bridge and Stefan found it. Apparently this is proof that he’s a killer. Like stalker? Maybe. But killer? That’s a bit of a stretch. Seniors get to read poetry during the parade, Caroline was one of the seniors chosen for this and she plans to pull out Elena’s diary instead.

Caroline is taking this “being popular in school” thing a bit too seriously. Girl, no one's gonna care you were popular in like six months. What is wrong with you?

Elena, Bonnie and Meredith break into Caroline’s house one night in order to retrieve Elena’s diary. They ransack the house and find Caroline’s diary, but Elena’s is nowhere to be seen. The Forbes’ come home early and the girls need to leave the house quickly. Elena somehow gets stuck. I genuinely have no idea how she managed that. So she tries to get out through a window and guess who’s already there? Damon! Who would’ve guessed. He, once again, tries to talk her into becoming a vampire and “ruling” the darkness with him. She says she’d rather die than join him and tries to jump off the roof. He catches her and tries to make a deal. He’ll get her diary back and in return Elena has to spend time with him and let him drink her blood. She, of course, says no. Damon tells her to think about it and leaves.

Nothing important happens for a bit, but there is one diary entry I wanted to talk about. (Elena got a new diary).

And there are little things that shouldn’t matter, but they bother me. Like why Stefan still wears Katherine’s ring around his neck, even though he loves me. In his defense, she did die. Breaking up with someone and losing them isn’t the same. That doesn’t necessarily mean he doesn’t love you, or that he loves Katherine more. But she’s not an ex, she’s his deceased lover. This really is a tricky situation. On one hand dating again can be difficult after losing your significant other, and even feel like you’re betraying them. So just getting rid of the only thing you have left of them can be hard, and honestly unnecessary. On the other hand, however, being 17 and dating someone who lost their partner can be just as hard. Being insecure, not just in general, but also in your relationship can make you feel like you have to “compete” with the deceased person. Grown adults sometimes can’t handle dating someone who lost their previous partner, let alone teenager. Grief is complicated. I don’t think either of them are bad people, they’re handling it to the best of their abilities.

Alrighty, let’s get back to the plot. Vickie is back! And doing worse than ever. Vickie attacked Tyler, tried to bite him. Alaric said: Don’t hurt her! Be careful! It’s epilepsy, we just need to get her lying down! Epilepsy? Really? Does epilepsy make people strip naked, sexually harass other students and try to drink their blood? I’m no doctor, but that doesn’t sound like epilepsy to me. Maybe this Alaric isn’t a vampire hunter, or he doesn’t want the other students to freak out. If you don’t know what epilepsy is, maybe you’d fall for it.

For whatever reason aunt Judith hosts a rehearsal Thanksgiving party every year to make sure everything goes well on Thanksgiving day. Personally, I’ve never seen anyone practice hosting a holiday dinner, is that a common thing? Anyway, it was time to sit down and eat when Judith announced they have a guest this year. Yeah, you guessed it right, it’s Damon again. This man does not give up. The fact that Elena hasn’t tried to kill him is quite impressive. Could never be me. So, now Damon has access to Elena’s house as well. As if that wasn’t enough Bonnie got briefly “possessed” during the dinner. A voice spoke through her, telling Elena that Death is coming for her. Funny how this only happens when Damon is there. Not suspicious at all. Poor Bonnie.

Damon leaves and aunt Judith pulls Elena aside and says this: Well, I just thought you might give him a chance, that’s all. I thought he was very pleasant. The kind of young man I like to see around here. Can’t blame her honestly. Narcissistic abusers are remarkably good at charming people. Much easier to abuse your partner when their close friends and relatives are on your side. They can be incredibly charming and charismatic. It’s not that they can’t help themselves, they just choose not to control themselves. They know exactly what they’re doing. Elena doesn’t really say anything to this. What could she say? There’s no way for her to prove that Damon is a killer and not Stefan, without outing them as vampires. Something tells me that aunt Judith doesn’t believe in vampires.

As I’ve said, Damon does not give up. After they’ve all went to bed he came back. But once he got to Elena’s room he couldn’t get in. Which leads to Elena being, once again, an idiot. She tells him that the reason he can’t get in is because the living room and her room are what’s left of the old house. Therefore someone needs to invite him in again. Why tell him this, he can just come back and ask to see the living room, it’s not like Elena in particular has to invite him.

The following day Elena goes to Stefan’s house to tell him they need to talk. Finally, she’s gonna tell him everything! Is what I thought was gonna happen, but nope. She only tells him about the diary, she continues to keep Damon a secret. Honestly, I’m starting to think she’s not lying just to keep Stefan safe, I feel like she likes running into Damon. I mean, she does talk often about how attracted she is to Damon.

Now, the moment we’ve all been waiting for. (and by we I mean me) Stefan finally feeds from Elena. Technically, he did drink her blood when she dragged him out of that well, but that was just a couple of drops. This time he drank straight from her neck. Also, the whole drinking blood thing is kinda like sex to vampires. The way the author writes these scenes feels weirdly erotic. It’s kinda uncomfortable to read. And!! He told her I love you for the first time. Then, he did something so incredibly stupid. He proposed. Proposed. She’s 17, she’s not even out of high school yet. Not only did he propose, but he proposed with Katherine’s ring. Lord. I think that may have been done so that Elena is wearing a ring once she turns into a vampire.

Elena then says my favorite quote in the entire book. I’ve learned my lesson; I’ll never keep things from him again. Elena, darling, you are STILL keeping things from him. What are you talking about? I don’t think she knows what “I’ve learned my lesson” means, because she most certainly did not.

We’re getting near the end of the book. It’s the day of the Founder’s Day parade. The girls were hoping Caroline will leave the book unattended while she’s in costume. Unfortunately, Caroline isn’t stupid, she found a way to carry the diary with her. At this point I thought they would go to Damon to ask for help. Honestly, if I were Elena I’d fake being ill. Dramatically fall over and pretend to faint. Everyone would be paying attention to me, and then Stefan could offer to take me home. Caroline could still decide to go through with her plan, but the main reason she’s doing it is to humiliate Elena. Can’t humiliate her if she isn’t there.

They fail to get the diary and proceed with the parade, bracing themselves for the inevitable humiliation. Caroline’s turn to speak comes and she gives a little speech. Saying that she would rather read something about what’s happening in Fell’s Church now, not a hundred or two hundred years ago. She then pulls out the diary and freezes. Someone switched Elena’s diary with Caroline’s. Now she looks like an idiot. Was it Damon? Yeah it was. Elena asked why he had done it and he replied: For my own purposes. To which she said: I don’t think so. I don’t think that’s the reason at all. She really thinks she’s hot enough to make a cruel vampire feel empathy or compassion. I respect the confidence.

Elena’s aunt comes over and tells her she should be nicer to Damon. Damon takes control of her aunt and Elena has a horrible argument with Judith/Damon. She runs to Matt and asks if she can borrow his car, saying she just wants to be alone right now. She drives straight to the old graveyard. She parks the car and while she was hysterically laughing/crying she feels Damon’s presence. She tries to get across the river, because Damon can’t cross running water. Something goes wrong and she crashes Matt’s car and drowns.

Bonnie, Meredith and Stefan find her and pull her corpse out of the water. The next bit was so confusing and I couldn’t tell if Elena was dead or not because Bonnie kept referring to her as a “wax doll”. For a bit I thought there was an actual doll in the river and Damon took Elena, but no she was actually dead. The darkness comes once again and Stefan tells them to run. He shouts that he’ll leave Elena under the Willow trees. Bonnie realizes that the reason Stefan is telling them this because he will not be there when they come back for Elena.

Since Elena didn’t say anything about Damon to Stefan, he doesn’t know that that night when Damon broke in, she drank his blood and he drank hers. He didn’t know that she died with Damon’s blood in her system.

Stefan is going after Damon. He’s planning on killing himself. He’s fed on Tyler, Caroline and their friends. He has to be stronger if he wants to take on Damon. He doesn’t care about getting caught because he doesn’t plan on living long enough to get caught. But what’s gonna happen once he realizes Elena is not dead? Is he gonna use his new strength to compel the people of the town?

While Stefan and Damon were fighting, trying to kill one another. Elena was waking up. Elena woke up. Hungry and tired. She could hear voices, someone screaming somewhere far away. She got up to follow them, when she remembered “him”. Oh yes, it was coming back now. She remembered him. He was the one who understood her, who loved her. He was the one she wanted to be with forever. And I had a slight feeling she’s not talking about Stefan.

Her next sentence confirmed my suspicions: He was there, with his black, fathomless eyes, and his secret smile. And he needed her help. She would help him. Stefan’s eyes are hazel. Is this because she died with Damon’s blood in her system in particular? Maybe that forms some kind of bond between them. God, as long as this book doesn’t have fated mates I’m good.

The book ends with Elena shaking ice crystals out of her hair and stepping into the clearing in the woods where Damon and Stefan were fighting.

I’m having so much fun reading this series. Honestly, I enjoy it a lot more than the TV show. I’m really glad the books are quite short, about 250 to 300 pages. Since I take notes while I read, it does take quite a bit some time to finish a book, usually about 4h. Writing the actual review takes a couple of hours too, but it does mean I can finish everything in one day. With longer books, especially other YA Fantasies which can be between 600 and 900 pages, it takes a long ass time to write.

I don’t remember the last time I was this excited about a book series. Is it perfect? No, definitely not. But it’s so entertaining. The fact that I know and love these characters already definitely helps.

Fingers crossed that the other authors who took over the series won’t ruin it.

Rating: ⛤⛤⛤⛤

[oldmyths]

.

[octoagentmiles]

What are your thoughts surrounding the Golden Mole episode if you’ve watched it? Personally, I really enjoy it, but I was kind of taken aback by the way Kwazii was acting at the start? His writing at points in A&B in general makes me feel a way, the difference has been a big adjustment. You always tie things together with your character analyzations very well, so I’m curious to know your take on this one! It might even make me feel less thrown off by it :)

you sent this a long time ago I'm so sorry- If your opinions on Kwazii's writing have changed, I'd love hearing any takes you have now- but in the meantime take post 🤲 (note that I talk a lot about Tracker since he is kinda the focus of the episode- ok now let's begin:)

(take an ear-twitchy Kwazii for your patience hfjskd 🤲✨)

I've noticed Kwazii's been written differently too, and I've got theories about it ofc (see closing thoughts), but in regards to the Golden Mole episode I actually think his behavior was pretty in character. I think Kwazii has a fear of rejection (because of how often he is rejected due to being a pirate), and he seems to be very aware of how people view him, and will either over-compensate by toning down his energy (or at least trying to, like in the Puffins.) or try to make himself seem cooler and more capable than he is if he notices someone likes him, like he did with Pinto that one time.

He also did this in The Combtooth Blenny; where he spent the entire time trying to make Peso think he had everything in control, even though he didn't. That's pretty similar to what's happening in The Golden Mole.

The Combtooth Blenny and The Golden Mole are pretty similar episodes overall: Kwazii and Peso stuck on a desert island with no communication vs. Kwazii and Tracker stuck in a desert with no communication, Kwazii desperate to seem like a capable leader type, Peso (implied to be) as a new Octonaut vs. Tracker as a new Octo-Agent, etc.. (cough cough wanna point out UK Peso and Tracker's shared voice actor just because cough cough-)

Analysis time now:

Right away we can tell Tracker thinks Kwazii is cool, just from the way he looks at him (either in awe or nervousness), and is eager to please him. We see this trait of his when we first meet him in Operation Deep Freeze when he excitedly calls them "The Octonaut guys!!! :D" and then shouts "Cool!!" when Barnacles promises to keep him posted. Tracker is a follower by nature, not a leader. He'd much prefer to let ANYONE else tell him what to do, rather than follow his own instincts or take charge. So Kwazii? Octonaut guy?? Perfect person to listen to—definitely not gonna question his judgement at all. Wouldn't dream of it.

...Even when it backfires on them both.

Tracker is very strong, smart, and capable on his own, and he seems to know that—but he's still very insecure in his own intuition; and tends to put others before himself, kind of like how Barnacles does. He says at one point in S2 (paraphrasing here-) that in the Polar Scouts; "they are taught to help anyone who needs it, no matter what." and I think he and Barnacles both indirectly learned their self-worth issues from this (like: “When you see a creature in trouble, it is YOUR duty to help them. Your own safety comes second.” ). He's a great Polar Scout, and he's desperate to be seen as a good Octo-Agent by the Octonauts.

(Octonauts™ at it again with the parallels <3) Tracker has literally never left the Arctic before; another reason why he wants to trust Kwazii so badly. He’s out of his element, but Kwazii’s been around the world, he should know about deserts, right? One way I wish Kwazii had been written differently in this episode, would be him being a bit more worried about Tracker. He knows they're in this situation because he messed up—and Barnacles likely trusted Kwazii to take care of him. So if he had maybe panicked with Tracker when they lost their backpack, instead of just standing there, or if he asked him how he was doing once or twice, that would’ve been better. (In the CombBlenny, he gets visibly frustrated a few times, before putting on a brave face for Peso. In this episode he kinda just dissociates when Tracker freaks out, and it’s a little awkward.)

I do really like this scene at the end where Kwazii reassures Tracker, and gives him his book back. It feels like Kwazii is trying to apologize to him in his own way.

Also I think Tracker would've passed the test no matter what. He was the only agent who got any sort of test. He probably asked Barnacles for one, and it got made up on the spot. He would've passed even if he completely failed, because it was just a confidence booster exercise; like how 99% of Peso's S1 training was just confidence boosting disguised as serious training. Barnacles couldn’t actually train Peso on how to be an Octonaut or a medic, because he was already both of those from the start; he just needed to be taught how to trust himself.

Closing off with more Kwazii thoughts: I think he's being written differently on purpose. There has been a timeskip, and everyone seems a bit more mature now (it's most obvious in Peso and the Vegimals, and Dashi in some aspects). It could just be that he toned down a bit as he got older; but I've noticed that he's written the most weird whenever he's partnered with Calico Jack. He acts more immature and just... off? and in my head it's because he really hasn't seen CJ since he was a kitten, so he isn't sure how to act around him (plus he REALLY wants to impress his granddad). We also know that CJ's been teaching Kwazii stuff, so that could be another factor in his personality/vibe shift. The times I've found where Kwazii acts the most like himself- are the times he's alone with the other Octonauts, and I think that's interesting.

[burtonbabygirlguster]

how comfortable i would feel with different stranger things characters

Argyle

8/10

he would be 10/10 but i’d be scared he’d mention what i’ve told him when he was high

i’ve got no idea if being high works like that tho???

but i’d be panicking very hard

like he’s probably use my preferred name instead of my deadname and i’d be like 🧍

would offer me weed to help with my skin picking problems or my mouth pain

fuck you braces and nails

Robin

10/10

we can ramble to each other :)

my best moments with my friends is of us rambling to each-other and getting off topic every other sentence

she’s very funny we could laugh about anything it’d be great

and i’m also queer so like..yeah, gay people flock together type shit

Eddie

6.5/10

the cafeteria scene scared me, i’d constantly think he’s about to..like..jump on my sandwich

also he’s too extroverted for me im sorry

i can’t handle that type of attention anywhere near me

he’d probably look at what i was drawing or something and show everyone 🧍

and i’ve got too much anxiety for that soooo…

Steve

7.5/10

i can’t really explain in

like, yes, i’d be comfortable, but constantly tense, expecting something, at the same time

like i said, can’t really explain it, sorry lmfao

Jonathan

13/10

would make me feel good about myself

between my fashion, music, general interests, being trans and gay, i’d be the Hawkins high punching bag

i already was at my middle school some? like nothing physical but constant shit, it was this group of kids constantly coming over to the tree i hung by and shouting slurs and jesus blah blah

plus the usual barking and being called emo in the halls

anyway

he could tell when i’m about to have a breakdown, whatever i’m feeling honestly

the only person i think i’d EVER be comfortable sharing how i actually feel with

he would never judge me

i think he’d like my stupidity and chaos, i usually get really insecure about it but he’d be nice :))

the only way i can interact with a movie/show is to vocally talk about it and my family (reasonably) gets mad but i think he’d enjoy hearing what i think and how i perceive whatever we’d be watching

even outside of movies, they don’t really like hearing me ramble or talk

and if one person did like it, another one would interrupt and they’d forget about me

even my general family issues, he’d be there to listen, and relate on a lot

i also love photography so we could have fun with that!!!

overall he’d be the biggest comfort ever

Nancy

2/10

i’m sorry but i wouldn’t be all that comfortable

i think the biggest thing was how she treated robin

and since i act like robin with the rambling and such, i really think she would not like me

opposite of Jonathan

she’d only get annoyed and i feel like she’d just act like my family when it comes to how i express myself, and would make me feel like shit

maybe she’d actually be really cool once i got to know her

but everything that the shows given me is her pushing away barb, the love triangle, being rude to robin, and supernatural stress, so not quite sure :p

Jason

-3/10

i don’t even need to explain

i would be called slurs and beat up

he was ready to break Gareths fingers

which i guess me just being casual vs him hunting a guy are definitely different situations

but i feel like he’d break something

i’d definitely be a suspect of joint murder forces with eddie lmfao

Billy

-3/10

same thing with jason

but pretty sure he’d also body-shame me

unless if we were around people

but still -3/10

Will

12/10

Same thing as Jonathan

but i’m closer to wills age so i think it’d be better :)

plus he at least used to play with legos and i fucking love legos

also we could draw DnD characters together!!

he’s gonna love my literal dragonborn himbo that wears sunglasses

i’d love to be in a byers-hopper family campaign with him :))

gays flock together again

Lucas

11/10

he’s super duper fucking nice and would always be considerate of everything

would not judge me

except in a funny way

he could help me out if i ever had relationship issues

he can climb trees i think? i feel like he climbed one in season one or two

if he can, i’d love to go tree climbing with him

i used to play basketball so we could play together!!

he’s awesome

Dustin

8/10

i can’t really explain why he’s only 8

i would, however, love to go and open curiosity doors and do random shit

i’m gonna train demodogs with him

would love to tease steve with him

El

8/10

nothing really special, just chill :)

again, would love to do a whole family campaign

i’d like making fun presentations with her like she did for the school project

would enjoy doing stuff like how she and max did, i love clothes shopping, because i can express myself- and that was the whole point for her clothes shopping!

i’d absolutely love to do that with her :))

Max

7.3/10

would maybe make fun of me a little bit?

sometimes in a funny friend way but sometimes in an actual way

i don’t think i’d be able to tell which is which so i’d be sad each time🧍

would love being chaotic with her and torturing mike (i’m sorry mike)

pulling pranks on everyone definitely

Mike

depends which season

1-2 is 10/10

3-4 is slowly declining…

i’m very childish (although i am a child so doesn’t really count) and i love doing thing how will does, and i’d too, be asking to play

would feel the worst feeling if he ever yelled at me like he did to will :(

although that’s on byler drama, so he wouldn’t yell at me like that

would make me feel both appreciated and highly judged

it switches every day honestly

but season 1-2 would be great <3

after he gets his byler drama sorted out he’d be back to 10/10

Erica

depends if she’s insulting me or not

but if she’s insulting me then i probably did something first so it’d be my fault

but overall she’d be super cool to hang with!

and she’s super smart- if i pay her, maybe she’ll do my math homework 😭

i haven’t nt watched my little pony in years (and obviously not the 80s one she watched) but i think i’d watch it so we could talk bout it

and talk with dustin too about it

cause he watches my little pony too

Joyce

6/10

As great a mom as she is, she barley ever payed attention to Jonathan

like, never

i would trust her to save me, yeah, absolutely, she’d do anything

but like i said with Jonathan..

overall though i suppose really good, she’d be fun to hang out with

Jim

4.5/10

dudes SCARY

yells too much

i’m generally spooked by older people, especially older men sooo yeah 🧍

that wouldn’t help

would constantly feel like a disappointment even if that’s not what he wanted

every so often a really good moment

maybe a heart to heart that’d boost him up a few numbers

Murray

4/10

as funny as he is, if he started talking about my relationship, i’d punch him

not actually i’m a coward but i’d mentally punch him

if he never talked about relationships then he could be a good 8/10 or something

nothing too special even then, just casual

Bob

9/10

gets -1 point because old men scare me lmfao

other than that i’d love to play his brain games and learn about the radios and such

great guy :((

would love to have him as an uncle :))

would like to listen to me ramble!

he jon and i can have camera sessions

Owens

7/10

again, -1 point for old man

but specifically during season four i kinda wished i had a dad a lil bit like him

i think the food got to me

and him trying to go against brenner

“kiddo” hit me hard

would not enjoy in the other seasons tho, no trust, thus no comfort at all

Mr Clark

9/10

once more, -1 for old man

but he’s super nice to the kids 😭

and always helps them solve the Upsidedown mystery of the year

where was he this season????

only teacher i could actually go up to and ask for help

would LOVE to have him as a dad

he’d also definitely enjoy to hear my ramblings, especially if they’ve got anything to do with science

i ramble about time travel and mythological creatures a lot (especially dragons and how they would have been) and i’d think he’d enjoy ny special interests of curiosity doors

Alexi

9/10

would love to go to the fair with him and get all the stuffed animals

and watch cartoons and eat slushes i think it’d be great fun

wanna have murray deal with both of us

harhar the old man will never know what hit him