#i posted something like this on the video the other day

[antimonyandthyme]

2k, paul/carlos

(written after the c2 / paul vid, and this post came out with the brilliant @formulahs suggesting an auction LMAO)

He goes without the expectation of buying anything. He looks forward to a good time, even with all the cameras around. The shoes his stylist wants him to go in are fanciful, shiny monstrosities, and he nearly insists for the sneakers to stay on. Then he remembers that he’s technically there for Ferrari, and dutifully swaps them out.

Technically. Paul can go for other reasons too. Charles is lovely, if a little vacant around him. Carlos is. Carlos is, he’s—

It’s early days and Paul isn’t one for poetry, and yet here he is. He hopes to god he isn’t being obvious. Not to the staff when he spots Carlos and lights up like a schoolboy with a crush. Not to Charles, when he holds on to Carlos for a handshake that’s a little longer than necessary. Definitely not obvious to whoever watches these videos, when he mouths all of the answers to Carlos.

Can’t deny having a favourite. He can turn his nose up all he wants at the reputation that follows any young actor these days, but he can’t deny his appreciation for nice things. There are no trophies in his world—yet, just good food, good drink, good people. Beautiful people. For the third time since they rolled cameras, Paul is caught staring. Carlos always looks slightly lost, staring back, like he’s trying to figure Paul out, before he ducks his head and curls up. Large hands clasped in his lap. Maybe a little shy. Maybe a little pleased.

“He’s a little expensive,” Charles says, “but you should be able to afford him.”

Paul attempts to tamper his face into something palatable. Ungracious of Charles to lay out his desires so plainly. And then in the same breath insinuate that his ability to pay might not stack up. Somewhere past Paul’s eyeline, Carlos is returning his mic to the staff with a relieved smile. Unpacking his spine into something looser, now that the cameras are off. He tips his head at Paul, eyes inquisitive, as if guessing that they were discussing him.

Paul has to look away, guilty.

“I didn’t plan on buying,” he says. It’s the truth. Mostly. In his defense, it wasn’t like Ferrari were being subtle about shoving them in a room together, especially after they made this tradition known. It’s like asking someone not to think of elephants. On command, a safari blooms open in Paul’s mind.

Charles shrugs. “We’ll have another event later. Someone else probably will.”

The flippant way Charles speaks about it grates against Paul’s skin. He can’t tell if Charles is trying to rile him up. The thought of Carlos having to hang off a faceless person’s arm makes distaste churn so violently in his belly that it manifests into an ache.

“Carlos wouldn’t mind, if it’s you.”

“How would you know,” Paul grits out. The mental fidget spinner he has for Charles keeps going around in circles, flickering from Empty to Dickhead to Helpful, maybe?

“Ah, he’s used to it no? People looking at him like that.” Charles’s voice dips low, like he’s sharing a secret. Paul’s an actor for fuck’s sake. He knows when someone’s selling him something, a mediocre contract, a shitty line. Still, he can’t help leaning in closer, puts his ear right next to Charles’s mouth.

Further away, Carlos’s mouth twists down, his gaze shutters. Just a minute, baby, Paul wants to tell him. Just—give me a minute.

“He looks back, when it’s you,” Charles says, and Paul’s done convincing himself otherwise.

--

They tell him, in one of the most bewildering conversations Paul’s ever had, that Carlos will be delivered in the evening, at whatever time suits Paul best. Delivered, like he’s some kind of package. What the fuck, sings one part of his brain. What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck what have you just done. The other part, the part that’s mostly primitive and hedonistic, somehow takes charge and sends him off on multiple errands. He gets his hair trimmed, just a little at the sides. He buys some wine. He changes into the sneakers. He considers getting another tattoo, before he snaps himself out of it.

Poetry and tattoos. Paul’s lost his mind.

The time in between gives him room to vacillate between wanting to feed the open maw within him and growing shamefully aware about the shape of his yearning. He hadn’t realized he had enough space within his ribcage to stuff another man entire. There are so many other ways he could have gone about this. But he doesn’t have Carlos’s number. He can’t text. Even if he could, Paul wouldn’t know what to say.

Tick tock, tick tock. Paul rearranges furniture, door dashes some flowers, after spending half an hour reading up on flower language, interspersed with vapid scrolling of his socials. Tick tock.

By the time Carlos arrives, he’s in a bit of a wreck. People who move in Carlos’s world would certainly be familiar with Ferrari’s clauses, and would know how to act. The muted greeting Carlos gives doesn’t help either. He’s dressed up but down, in a plain, almost translucent shirt that leaves little to imagination. He toes off his shoes with an unconscious gracefulness, and comes to stand in front of Paul. He’s waxed, which Paul knows, just from being so close to him this afternoon, had to have happened in that space where Paul was questioning all his life choices. He looks wonderful, except for the fact that he looks so visibly uncomfortable.

“Do you,” Paul starts. Swallowing around the dry lump in his throat. “Do you want something to drink?”

Carlos fidgets. “If you’d like,” he says.

That’s, ow.

They’d assured him, again and again, that Carlos always had the final say, but his teeth are buried in his lower lip, hard enough to blanch, and his toes dig into the carpet like a lifeline. It’s not like Paul’s hung out with Carlos more than a handful of times, but it’s hard to ever picture him in such distress. Carlos is—larger, than what he’d ever seen on screen. You have to witness him in person, to understand.

Faced with this shrunken version of Carlos, Paul can’t bring himself to continue.

“I’m sorry,” he croaks. “I really am. I assumed you’d want—I’m sorry.”

Carlos flinches, jerks his head up. “Wait.”

“It’s alright,” Paul says. “You don’t have to, if you don’t want to. You could just leave. I won’t tell anyone.”

“Wait,” Carlos says, more urgently. “I don’t want to—” His voice grows small. “Do you want me to leave?”

“Of course not,” Paul nearly yelps. “But you’re. You’re…”

Carlos’s cheeks are very pink. His toes tap an erratic beat on the floor. His hands are clasped in front of him, almost in supplication.

“You’re nervous!”

“Yes!” Carlos blurts out, before looking very mortified. “I’m. Ah, fuck. Paul, I’m never. Never like this.”

Tension bleeds out of him. Something so relieved escapes out of Paul’s mouth in an embarrassing giggle. “Carlos. You should have just said.”

“I don’t know why…” Carlos trails off, scrubbing at the back of his neck vigorously. “With you, I’m like this. I don’t know. I want.” His toes tap some more. “I want to.”

“Want to?” Paul says, coming closer, watching Carlos sway in eagerly.

“Make it worth it,” Carlos mutters. “What you paid.”

Paul groans. He wants to shake Carlos. Then decides, hey, he actually can shake Carlos. Gentle hands around his shoulders, shaking him like a beloved ragdoll. “Oh my god. You can’t be serious.”

“It’s a lot of money,” Carlos protests, but the corners of his mouth are turned up now.

“Shut up, you’re ridiculous. Do you think I would have even paid that if, if I. Oh my god, Carlos. You have to know, right?”

“Know what,” Carlos says, enjoying being a little shit now that they’re joking.

“Can’t take my eyes off you, when you’re in the room,” Paul says. “I thought I was being obvious.”

“You were,” Carlos says brightly. “I thought I was obvious right back.”

“Okay, so. So why are you—?”

Carlos’s face twists. “This season has been. Ah.” He shakes his head reluctantly. “You don’t have to listen to this.”

“Go on,” Paul says. “Come on, tell me. Twelve hours of your time, remember?”

“Been hard to live up to expectations, this year,” Carlos says. “I didn’t want that with you.”

“You are so.” Stupid. Hot. Stupidly hot. “I’m going to shake you some more,” Paul says. “I cannot believe you.”

“That’s fine,” Carlos says. He goes along with the shaking, in a way that shows exactly how much of his body he’s putting into Paul’s hands. A neck as thick as that and he’s somehow limp under Paul’s touch. That’s, well. That’s a lot. “Then maybe, maybe. You could kiss me?”

Yes, yes. Yesssssssss, sings both parts of Paul’s brain. Yes.

Carlos is still now, expectant. A long, lean line of muscle, rooted to the ground, that Paul can trace hungrily with his eyes. He could pull at Carlos with all his strength and Carlos would not move, if he did not want to. But when Paul nudges a finger under his jaw, Carlos goes, looks up, right at him. Leans in.

--

He’s a greedy little thing, isn’t he. Swallows Paul with ease, every which way. He makes insane noises, deep, and guttural when Paul fucks him hard, high, and breathless when Paul thumbs at his nipples. Carlos clutches at Paul like it’d physically hurt to let go. Everything he’s meant to do, he does and is wonderful at it. And somehow, he’d managed to assume he wouldn’t live up.

“Unbelievable,” Paul says to the ceiling, some time after he’d come so viciously it felt like he’d been wrung out like a dish towel. “You’re unbelievable.”

“Are you still mad at me,” Carlos says, amused.

“Yes.”

“Ay, don’t be,” Carlos says, softly. “I really was nervous.”

Paul turns on his side, hand supporting his head as he gazes at Carlos. Crazy intimate. Terrible, the way he’s setting himself up for the worst time. He can’t bring himself to care.

“You’re allowed to stay the night?”

“Twelve hours,” Carlos says. “You can ask me to do anything.”

“Anything?”

“Anything,” Carlos confirms. “Sleep at the foot of the bed, if you want.”

Why would he even say such a—Paul is going to shake him again. If he can unpretzel himself from all that easy comfort following an earth-shattering orgasm. He nudges at Carlos’s hip instead. It’s the closest body part he can find.

“I kick in my sleep,” Paul says seriously, delighting in the way that makes Carlos giggle. He pats the scant space next to him. “I’d rather you be right here.”

“I’ll be right here,” Carlos says, then clears his throat. He probably was just parroting Paul, didn’t mean for it to sound so much like a promise.

But Paul… is also a greedy little thing, isn’t he? So greedy he paid for it, and so greedy he wants more now that he’s had a taste.

“And after?” Paul says. Will you be…?

“After,” Carlos says, “after Las Vegas is Qatar. Then Abu Dhabi.”

“Fine,” Paul says. As let downs go, this is pretty devastating, but he’ll live. It’s not like he had expected—never mind.

Carlos shifts. His jaw unlocks, then clicks back. “You get discounts, after, did you know that? Very good discounts.”

“Oh,” Paul says, a little wobbly. “Do I?”

“Yes. And after Abu Dhabi, it’s. It’s free.”

“Ah.” His chest is squeezing tighter than a fist. The space in his ribcage! Expanding and contracting to accommodate whatever Carlos sees fit. He lets himself imagine pressing up close to Carlos in a quiet apartment, pulling out every sound in Carlos's vocabulary with time, unlimited, on his hands. Buying flowers he knows for sure Carlos likes.

“I guess I need to stick around."

“Guess so,” Carlos says, smiles. “Make it worth your while.”

[epicbuddieficrecs]

Weekly Recap | November 18th-24th 2024

How we doing after the fall finale fam? 100 days until 8B !!

Complete

please don't go by 42hrb/ @exhuastedpigeon (S8E8: Wannabes Coda | <1K | General): "Don't go." The words are trapped in a cage at the back of Buck's throat. Every time he's opened his mouth in the last week he's had to speak around them. He feels like a tiger pacing his enclosure, like he's going to snap at the bars if anyone gets too close.

Hold me like you'll never let me go by I_still_dont_understand_13/ @dangerpronebuddie (Post-S8E8: Wannabes | 1,4K | Teen): "Oh! You didn't bring any baking?" Maddie asks as she opens the door for Buck to enter. "I... haven't felt like baking much," Buck says as he trudges in, gravitating to the kitchen. "Since you got over your ex boyfriend?" Maddie asks, a hopeful note in her voice. "Since Eddie decided to move to Texas," Buck blurts out. 

want but not have by Tizniz/ @tizniz (Post-S8E8: Wannabes Coda | 1,5K | General): “Buck.” Eddie greets in surprise when he pulls the door open. The other man is standing there, hands shoved in his pockets, shoulders drawn up to his ears, eyes rimmed red, and an absolutely heartbroken expression on his face. “I need…I have…” Buck inhales shakily, “Can we talk?”

of bookmarks and bravery by brewrosemilk/ @gayhoediaz (S8E8: Wannabes, Getting Together | 1,6K | Mature): The moment Buck snatches the tablet, he regrets the decision. It’s an invasion of privacy—but they don’t keep secrets from each other, he knows that flipping the tablet and seeing a regular tab of pornhub open won’t actually embarrass Eddie, or make him upset. The second he takes a look at the screen, however, his blood runs cold. Not necessarily because of what’s on there—but because this is suddenly a vastly different genre of invasion of privacy. The video is paused, two men on the screen, drenched in sweat, one of them with their legs locked around the other’s waist, a large, happy grin on his face as the man between his thighs seems to be in the middle of an especially deep thrust. Jock Rails Latino Hunk (RAW) (REAL COUPLE)

wherever you are, that's where i'll be by bellabrady/ (S8E8: Wannabes Coda | 2K | Not Rated): “Buck,” he says, huffing a small laugh. “You know I can’t afford that.” He expects Buck to tease him in response, or maybe to roll his eyes. He doesn’t expect the serious, almost nervous expression on his face as he looks at Eddie. Before Eddie can ask about it, Buck speaks. “Maybe the two of us could.”

It's Not What It Looks Like by eightpackdiaz (S8E8: Wannabes | 2K | Teen): Buck catches Eddie reading Hotshots fanfiction on his tablet

i love you never felt like any blessing by bucksbicycle (Post-S8E8: Wannabes, Getting Together | 2K | Mature): “No, Buck. I can’t leave you like this and I only have–” “I don’t want you to go.” It burst from him like a flashover. It’s far too loud for a small grocery store. They both flicker over to the screech of cart wheels making a quick-change, whoever was steering deciding that they can come back later. “I want you to stay,” is what he whispers, waiting for Eddie to say something. Anything. or: grocery store divorce 2.0 (with resolution)

What would you prefer I call you? by Kwills91/ @kwills91 (Established Buddie | 2K | General): Buck and Eddie have been dating for a month and when Buck discovers what his contact name is in Eddie's phone, he kind of loses it. What kind of boyfriend would have him as 'Buck Work'?

Not Coming Back by Tizniz/ @tizniz (Post-S8E8: Wannabes, Getting Together | 3K | General): “But seriously, when are you coming back? It’s been weeks…” Eddie feels the guilt inside of his chest tighten. This is it. This is the moment he needs to tell Buck. He’s put it off long enough. His eyes flicker around the kitchen of the house he’s rented. The one that Buck has no idea he’s rented. “About that…” Eddie starts.

'cause baby you make it all fade away by honestlydarkprincess/ @honestlydarkprincess (Hurt/Comfort, Getting Together | 3K | Teen): Buck's having a no good very bad day and Eddie makes it better. No hoodies were harmed in the making of this fic.

🔥 worship like a dog (at the shrine of your life) by withmeornotatall/ @chronicowboy (Post-S8E8: Wannabes | 6K | Teen): "Y-you're thinking about moving?" Buck asks, words turning to ash in his mouth. "Starting to think about it anyway," Eddie says, braced like he's waiting for Buck to snap his tablet in half. But Buck is a good dog, really. Or, he tries to be. Tries so hard. So, he doesn't do anything he wants to. Doesn't throw up on the living room carpet. Doesn't piss in every corner of the house. Doesn't scratch his presence into all the furniture - it's there already, he thinks, I'm there already, aren't I? (OR: eddie's house is home, buck finds worship there)

i would stay forever (if you say, don't go) by justhockey (Post-S8E8: Wannabes, Chris Comes Back, Getting Together | 6K | Teen): Eddie’s house has felt far too quiet in the months since Christopher left, without the sound of video games, or the clack of crutches, or the quiet rumble of Christopher’s voice as he talks to himself while doing his homework. But, as the door clicks closed behind Buck, the whole place falls completely silent. It’s like the last part of its beating heart has left, and now nothing but an empty shell remains. A house is not a home if there is no love living there, and Eddie just sent the last of it packing.

I’m always free to run home by scarmaddiewrites (Post-S8E8: Wannabes, Chris Comes Back | 6K | General): A fic written after the season 8 mid-season finale that answers some of the unanswered questions.

carve your name into my bedpost ('cause i don't want you like a best friend) by bibuckdiaz (Post-S7, PWP, Getting Together | 6K | Explicit): Somehow, by some miraculous series of events that Buck himself isn’t sure weren’t divine intervention, he finds himself with his back pressed into the Diaz household couch, with his best friend of six years straddling his lap and currently sucking a bruise into the space above his collarbone; a place that Buck has for years privately thought of as Eddie’s spot.

More Than Anything by scarmaddiewrites (Getting Together, Chris POV | 6K | Teen): Eddie honestly can’t believe he lied that easily to a priest. Well, yes he can because he’s been lying to himself since he was 8. Lying so much that he’s repressed a huge part of himself. “No offense, I’m straight.” He mumbles to himself in the mirror. “And the sky is pink.” Buck and Eddie get together and Christopher has some feelings about it.

🔥What A Mental Fire Alarm by I_still_dont_understand_13/ @dangerpronebuddie (Post-S8E5: Masks, Eddie Sexuality Crisis, Getting Together | 6K | Teen): “I have an idea,” Hen declares, drawing everyone's attention. “Why don't you make your own quiz?” Buck tilts his head like a confused puppy. “Yeah,” Chim says, drawing out the word. “Maybe your answer will come to you while you make it.” “You'll need a control though,” Hen says. “Someone straight.” Buck looks to Eddie. “Would you be my control?” Hen coughs and thumps her hand against her chest. Eddie raises an eyebrow at her. “You good, Hen?” “Fine,” she croaks. “Perfectly fine.” “Would you?” Buck asks, knocking their knees together. “Of course I would,” Eddie assures him. An excited grin slowly spreads across Buck's face. He hops to his feet and dashes for the stairs. “Where you going?” Eddie calls. “I need a clipboard!” Buck hollers back as he rushes down the stairs.

i’m not your homeland anymore by shortndiaz (Post-Lawsuit, Canon Divergent | 8K | Teen): post lawsuit, Bobby takes the option to transfer Buck to another station.

Bobby Versus Buddie by songbvrd/ @songbvrd (Bobby POV, S2 to S8 | 10K | Mature): Eddie huffed out a breath. “I’m having a crisis.” And Bobby, he wasn’t proud of it, but the word ‘finally’ was flashing in front of his eyes in giant, neon yellow letters, because surely, surely this meant that he’d figured it out. Finally, at long last, Eddie was having the crisis they’d all been waiting for since he’d started a thousand emergencies earlier. “I think I’m homophobic.” Bobby blinked at him. “I’m sorry?” OR - Five times Bobby tried to gently hold Buddie's hands and tell them they were in love, and one time they got the picture.

🔥 if the heavens ever did speak by songbvrd/ @songbvrd (Post-S8E8: Wannabes, Eddie Sexuality Crisis, Getting Together | 19K | Mature): He lay in bed at night and he wished he didn’t, but he thought about Buck. Wondered who was touching Buck. He wondered if Buck felt satisfied at the end of it or if he just felt more alone. He wondered if Buck needed him and wasn’t saying so. He wondered what it must be like to have Buck that way. To hold him close, to hear the sounds he’d let slip when he was too distracted to be in his own head. He wondered how he’d look when he came undone, and if the person he was with could even begin to fathom how lucky they were. But no, Buck just went back to eating his cereal, like he hadn’t just confessed to something that made Eddie’s whole body burn with too many feelings to articulate. He was humming, happy as a pig in mud. And as weird as he’d been with Eddie, Eddie found himself asking: “Sorry, are you humming Losing My Religion?”

🔥 50 Cheeky Texts by songbvrd/ @songbvrd (Post-S7, Getting Together | 21K | Mature): Buck gets drunk-dared to send Eddie one cheeky text every day for 50 days. Eddie loses his mind. TW for the cringiest pickup lines in existence.

WIP

cancelling the apocalypse by literalmetaphor (Pacific Rim AU | 24/25 | 116K | Mature): Buck doesn’t take his hands off Eddie’s shoulders as he glances over to Athena and Nash, who are watching the display calibrate. “How’d we do?” “See for yourself,” Athena says. Bad, Eddie thinks. He half-expects it. He wants to brace Buck for it, for the disappointment – wants to explain that whatever has screwed his compatibility scores till now, this one is all on Eddie. “Oh, shit…” Buck whispers. Eddie lifts his head, finally lets himself look, and then takes an inhale so sharp he tastes blood. Oh, shit.

🔥 go and kill, go and die by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Zombie Apocalypse AU | 12/14 | 48K | Mature): The 118 are a group of survivors in a small California town in the wake of a zombie apocalypse. For months they've been isolated and safe. But the arrival of some new players, the search for some missing loved ones, will shake everything up and put their little team in jeopardy.

I guess your mama didn't know the gift she got when she got you by disasterbuck/ @disasterbuck (Post-S7, Fake Relationship | 6/? | 12K | Teen): "He has someone else he can go to," Eddie said automatically, Buck's smiling face flashing into his mind. "Your friend Buck doesn't count," she said dismissively, and Eddie felt his hackles rising defensively. "I'm talking about a partner, Eddie. Someone who will commit to being with you and Christopher for the rest of your lives." "Buck is committed," Eddie said before he could think about what he was saying. "He's not going anywhere." There was a pause on the other end of the line. "When you say committed…" she asked hesitantly, voice trailing off. - Tired of his mom's nagging, Eddie tells a lie that spirals wildly out of control.

Re-Read

🔥 Your Kiss Might Kill Me (So Won't You Kill Me) by morganofthefairies (PWP, BDSM | 9K | Explicit): Buck hadn’t been a virgin by the time he’d hit Peru – not even close. He still considered Peru a critical point in his sexual history, though, because Peru had brought him Fiona, and he was pretty sure he could credit her with like 80% of his sexual knowledge. None of that was the point, though. The point was that, six years later, when Eddie called for the jaws to get to a woman pinned in her car while responding to an 8-car pileup, and absentmindedly called him a good boy as Buck handed them over, he had a totally normal reaction to it.

[cowbutchranch]

10 people I'd like to get to know better!

However many people I can think of that I'd like to get to know better, that I haven’t already seen tagged!

Thank you @harleybaby for the tag <3

A song you currently have on repeat rn?

-hmm. I haven’t had a specific song on repeat in a minute.

I think the last song I was listening to on repeat was Broke Ass Kid by Dylan Wheeler

but I have a go to playlist called ‘Gay-Elite’ and it has The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess by Chappell Roan, Now That I’ve Been Honest by Maddie Zahm (if y’all don’t know my girl Maddie you’re missing out- particularly if you’re a religious trauma homie), Hit Me Hard and Soft by Billie Eilish (I admittedly skip Billie pretty often bc I’m normally in the mood for something upbeat), Snow Angel (Deluxe) by Reneé Rapp, and a bunch of shit by Fletcher. I think I just added a random Fletcher playlist to this one with a good range of her songs.

Your current hyper-fixations?

-hmmm not really any hyper fixations going on at the moment? but all of my attention has been spent on this blog and Christmas 😌

Favorite colours/aesthetics rn?

-Fall. I love fall color pallets so much. burnt orange, navy, sage green, mustard yellow, black, etc, etc

An album you will never get tired of and has no skips?

-trafoamp by Chappell and Stick Season by Noah Kahan

Dream date with your celeb crush?

-uhhh I keep saying Chappell is my wife?? I don’t think I really have any celebrity crushes, never really have 🤷

but I’d love to get to hang out with chappell and do literally anything. she seems like she’d be really good at thrifting.

A YouTube video you will forever watch?

-I don’t have any specific videos I can think of, but I always love Good Mythical Morning, Safiya Nygaard, Brittany Broski, and recently I’ve found Santagato Studios!

Something you're looking forward to?

-dndjwjw the trips i posted ab the other day!! christmas!! going to atlanta to do festive christmas things! going to Tennessee for new years!! also im having a lil baby friendsgiving with my homies on friday 🥰

also being off for a week??

Tagging: @1-800-maybean @sailor--robin @duchessbian @mysticsapphicsblog

10 people I’d like to get to know better!

(the OG post was so long omg)

thank you @marrykisskilled for tagging me!

+ A song you currently have on repeat right now? everything i wanted by billie eilish

+ Your top hyper fixations currently? nick sturniolo clearly

+ Favorite aesthetics/colors right now? love fall aesthetics, but pastel colors are my favorite

+ An album you will never get tired of and has NO skips? 5SOS5 by 5SOS, WWAFAWDWG by billie eilish, and Eternal Sunshine by ariana grande

+ Dream date with your celeb crush? a calm little night in with Luke Hemmings where we just talk and snack and he plays guitar for me, until things get heated 😉….when i ask him why they never released the making of 5SOS5 part two 🤨

+ A YouTube video you will forever watch? 5SOS’ cocktail chats will have a hold on me for the rest of my life

+ Something you're looking forward to? Thanksgiving, i love eating and seeing (most of) my family lmao

🏷️: @freshloveee @tyummyz @sturniioloslut @nickssidewitch @nicksbestie @maliaforstvrns @chrissv4mp @delilahsturniolo @riowritesitall @chrislilcumslvt @leoslaboratory

[hookhausenschips]

Crowning Moments: The Power of the Perfect Style

Summary: Part Two of Men Who Know Too Much

Drivers: Lando Norris, Franco Colapinto, Carlos Sainz, George Russell, Charles Leclerc, Max Verstappen, & Oscar Piastri

Taglists

• you DO NOT have my permission to copy my work, upload as your own, translate, or repost on any other website •

Lando Norris – Fulani Braids with 1B Ombré Tips (British Grand Prix)

Y/N stood in front of the mirror in her hotel room, her freshly done Fulani braids gleaming under the overhead light. The golden cuffs and beads nestled perfectly along the intricate cornrows at the front of her scalp, transitioning into waist-length 1B ombré braids that darkened from brown to jet black. She tilted her head, inspecting every angle.

“I can’t believe you nailed this, Norris,” she said as Lando leaned casually against the doorway, smirking.

“Told you I’ve got an eye for these things,” he replied. “Now hurry up. The fans are going to riot if we’re late.”

The buzz outside Silverstone was palpable as the couple arrived at the paddock. The British Grand Prix always drew an enormous crowd, and the energy in the air was electric. Y/N walked beside Lando, her braids bouncing lightly with each step. Fans were pressed against the barriers, shouting his name—and hers.

“Y/N! Your hair looks amazing!”

“The ombré is so sleek!”

“You’re stunning!”

Y/N smiled, her cheeks warming as she waved at the fans. She wasn’t used to the spotlight being so focused on her, but the outpouring of love made her feel like she was walking a runway.

“See what I mean?” Lando whispered, leaning close as they headed toward the McLaren hospitality suite. “They love it. Told you to trust me.”

“I’m not saying you were right,” she teased, nudging him playfully, “but you might be onto something.”

As they stepped into the garage, the team greeted them enthusiastically.

“Y/N, those braids are unreal!” one engineer said, gesturing toward her hair.

“Thanks,” she replied, flicking one braid over her shoulder dramatically. “I had a little help.”

Lando, standing smugly beside her, interjected, “A little help? Try a lot of genius.”

Later, during the race, the cameras caught her sitting in the McLaren garage, her braids glowing under the sunlight streaming into the pit lane. Social media exploded with photos of her look, fans commenting on how effortlessly she stole the show.

When Lando returned post-race, sweaty but grinning after securing P2, he winked at her. “Told you, you’re the real star of the day.”

Y/N rolled her eyes but couldn’t help smiling. “I hate to admit it, Norris, but… maybe you were right. Just this once.”

Franco Colapinto – Pink and Black Butterfly Locs (Spanish Grand Prix, F2)

The vibrant pink tips of Y/N’s butterfly locs shone brightly under the blazing Spanish sun as she adjusted her sunglasses. The locs, a bold mix of black and hot pink, were an adventurous choice, but Franco had insisted. And now, as she strolled beside him through the Circuit de Barcelona-Catalunya paddock, she couldn’t help but feel like she belonged in a music video.

“Te dije que ibas a ser la estrella del día,” Franco said, grinning as his hand brushed against hers.

“You might be right this time,” she admitted, glancing around at the fans who were already pointing and whispering.

The moment they reached the paddock entrance, the reaction was instantaneous. Fans gasped and clapped, shouting compliments in both English and Spanish.

“¡Guapa!”

“Y/N, the pink is everything!”

“You look like a model!”

Y/N laughed, waving at the crowd. “They’re really hyping me up today, huh?”

“Por supuesto,” Franco said, his grin widening. “But who wouldn’t? Mira—everyone is staring at you, not me.”

As they passed a group of journalists, the cameras swiveled toward her. A reporter stepped forward.

“Y/N, we have to ask—what inspired this bold new hairstyle?”

Y/N smiled coyly, glancing at Franco. “Let’s just say I’ve got someone in my corner who has a good eye for these things.”

The two slipped away to the garage, where Franco’s team members were equally impressed. “That hair is insane, Y/N,” one of them said, giving her a thumbs-up.

Franco leaned closer, whispering, “Told you. You’re the reason half the crowd is here today.”

“Alright, alright,” she replied, laughing. “But if I find out there’s some girl who taught you about butterfly locs, it’s on sight.”

“Confía en mí, mi amor,” Franco said, placing a hand over his heart. “Todo esto fue mi idea.”

She smirked. “You’re lucky it worked out.”

Carlos Sainz – T1B/Red Ombré Medium Knotless Braids (Monaco Grand Prix)

Monaco’s glamour was unmatched, and Y/N felt like she fit right in with her medium knotless braids. The T1B roots seamlessly transitioned into a fiery red, mirroring Ferrari’s iconic color. Standing beside Carlos in the paddock, she adjusted the braids that framed her face, the red tips catching the sunlight like flames.

“¿Lo ves?” Carlos said, gesturing toward her hair as they walked toward the Ferrari garage. “I told you the red would be perfect. Matches the car, matches you.”

“You just like that I look like a walking Ferrari ad,” she teased, nudging him with her elbow.

“Maybe,” he admitted with a grin. “But you look stunning. Everyone’s staring.”

And they were. Fans lining the Monaco paddock snapped photos and shouted her name.

“Y/N! You’re glowing!”

“The braids are gorgeous!”

“You’re the Ferrari queen!”

Y/N waved, her confidence surging as Carlos pulled her closer. Inside the Ferrari hospitality suite, the compliments kept coming.

“That red ombré is perfection,” one team member said.

“Thanks,” Y/N replied, giving Carlos a sidelong glance. “Though I’ll admit, it wasn’t entirely my idea.”

“Entirely?” Carlos repeated, feigning offense. “It was all me, cariño. You just brought it to life.”

As the race day unfolded, the cameras frequently panned to Y/N, seated in the Ferrari garage. Social media buzzed with praise for her look, fans calling her the unofficial Ferrari ambassador.

When Carlos returned to the garage post-race, he leaned down, brushing a finger against one of her braids. “Told you. You’re the highlight of Monaco.”

Y/N smirked. “Maybe you’re better at this than I thought.”

George Russell – Deep Brown Alicia Keys-Inspired Braids (Singapore Grand Prix)

The humid Singapore night couldn’t dampen Y/N’s shine as she stepped into the Marina Bay paddock. Her deep brown braids, inspired by Alicia Keys, were styled to perfection. Thin braids flowed down her back, each strand adorned with golden beads and shells that jingled softly with her movements. The style was elegant and classic, a perfect match for the sophisticated night race.

George walked beside her, his tailored white shirt rolled up at the sleeves, exuding a quiet confidence. He glanced at her, his expression softening as he admired the way her braids glinted under the track lights.

“You look breathtaking,” he said, his voice barely above a murmur.

Y/N arched a brow, smirking. “You sound surprised, Russell.”

“Not surprised,” he corrected quickly, his lips twitching into a smile. “Just… impressed. Every time, you manage to outdo yourself.”

“Maybe it’s the hair,” she teased, running a hand along the length of her braids. “But don’t let it go to your head, Mr. Stylist. You’re still not picking my next look.”

“After this reaction, I might have to,” he said, gesturing toward the fans.

The crowd was buzzing as the couple approached.

“Y/N! Your hair is amazing!”

“George, she’s stunning—you’re a lucky man!”

“The beads are such a vibe!”

Y/N couldn’t help but laugh, waving at the fans. She could feel their eyes on her, their admiration boosting her confidence.

“See what I mean?” George whispered, leaning in slightly. “You’re the real showstopper tonight.”

Inside the Mercedes garage, the team quickly chimed in with their own compliments.

“Y/N, those braids are flawless. Did George have anything to do with this?” one engineer asked, only half-joking.

“Not officially,” she said with a sly grin. “But he did suggest the style.”

George gave her a knowing look. “See? I have good taste.”

Later, as she sat in the garage, her braids gleaming under the pit lane lights, cameras frequently panned to her. Social media lit up, with fans dubbing her the queen of the night race.

“You’re trending again,” George said after the race, handing her his phone to show her the comments.

Y/N smiled, leaning her head against his shoulder. “Guess I’ll let you pick my hair again someday… maybe.”

Charles Leclerc – T4/27 Pop Smoke Braids (Italian Grand Prix)

The roar of Tifosi filled the air at Monza as Y/N stepped out of the car. Her Pop Smoke braids were a work of art, the chunky cornrows flowing into a mesmerizing blend of T4 (dark brown) and 27 (honey blonde). The warm tones highlighted her features, and the intricate design gave her an effortlessly regal look.

Charles opened the car door for her, smiling as he offered his hand. “You’re going to steal the spotlight today, chérie. Not even I can compete with this.”

She chuckled, smoothing her braids down. “Please, Leclerc. The Tifosi only have eyes for you.”

As they made their way into the paddock, the crowd erupted. Fans waved Ferrari flags and chanted Charles’ name, but a significant portion of them were calling out to Y/N as well.

“Y/N! Those braids are incredible!”

“The honey blonde is perfect!”

“You’re the real Ferrari princess!”

Y/N gave Charles a look, a playful smirk tugging at her lips. “You hearing this? I might just be more popular than you today.”

Charles laughed, his cheeks flushing slightly. “It’s only because you let me pick the style.”

Inside the Ferrari hospitality suite, the compliments kept pouring in.

“Y/N, the braids are stunning!” one staff member said, her eyes wide with admiration.

“Merci,” Y/N replied, throwing Charles a pointed look. “Though apparently, this one’s taking all the credit.”

“And I deserve it,” Charles chimed in, his tone light but proud. “You wouldn’t have done it without me.”

During the race, the cameras frequently panned to Y/N, sitting in the Ferrari garage with her braids catching the sunlight. Social media exploded with praise for her look, fans calling her the “real Ferrari MVP.”

After the race, Charles approached her with a wide grin. “Admit it, I was right.”

“Fine,” she said, rolling her eyes but smiling. “You were right. But don’t let it go to your head, Leclerc.”

Max Verstappen – T1B/Light Blue Lemonade Braids (Dutch Grand Prix)

At Zandvoort, the vibrant orange sea of Dutch fans was impossible to ignore, but Y/N’s lemonade braids somehow stood out just as much. The sleek cornrows swept across her scalp in intricate patterns, the ends dyed a bold light blue that popped against her dark skin. The playful yet edgy style perfectly suited the high-energy vibe of the race weekend.

“Je ziet er geweldig uit,” Max said as they walked through the paddock. His Dutch accent made the compliment sound even more sincere.

Y/N glanced at him, smirking. “Translation, Verstappen?”

“You look amazing,” he repeated, his eyes sparkling with pride.

“Thanks, but I’m still suspicious about how you even know what lemonade braids are,” she teased.

“I told you, I did my research,” he said, shrugging. “Doesn’t matter how I know—what matters is that everyone else knows you look perfect.”

As they approached the grandstands, fans immediately began shouting.

“Y/N! Love the blue!”

“Max, she’s outshining you today!”

“She’s got Dutch vibes with a twist!”

Y/N laughed, waving at the crowd. “They really like it,” she admitted, glancing at Max.

“Told you,” he replied smugly.

Inside the Red Bull garage, the team’s reaction was no different. “Y/N, those braids are a masterpiece,” one engineer said.

“They’re Max-approved,” she quipped, earning a laugh from the team.

Throughout the race, the cameras lingered on her, her unique style making her the talk of the paddock. Post-race interviews even included questions about her hair, but Y/N simply smiled and said, “Just something fun for Zandvoort.”

Later, Max pulled her aside. “So? Did I do good?”

She grinned. “You did great. But don’t think this means you’re in charge of my hair from now on.”

“Of course not,” he said, leaning closer. “Unless you’re stressed again.”

Oscar Piastri – Blonde and Auburn Bohemian Box Braids (Australian Grand Prix)

Under the bright Melbourne sun, Y/N felt like she was radiating a light of her own. Her freshly installed bohemian box braids blended shades of 613 blonde and 33 chestnut auburn, creating a striking yet natural gradient that framed her face perfectly. Loose, wavy strands peeked out between the braids, adding an effortless, ethereal touch.

Oscar was already waiting for her in the paddock, hands in his pockets, his boyish grin widening when he saw her.

“You look… incredible,” he said, his voice carrying a quiet awe.

“Yeah?” Y/N asked, turning slightly to give him a full view of the braids cascading down her back.

Oscar nodded, his ears tinged red. “Better than I imagined, honestly. The blonde suits you. And the auburn… it’s perfect.”

“Don’t sound too surprised,” she teased, stepping closer to him. “You’re the one who picked it.”

“Well, I didn’t think it could look this good,” he admitted, his voice dropping to a more serious tone.

The Australian Grand Prix was buzzing with excitement, fans cheering wildly as the couple walked toward the paddock. Y/N noticed several eyes lingering on her, some fans even holding up their phones to snap pictures.

“Y/N! Your hair is stunning!”

“Love the blonde—it’s giving goddess!”

“Oscar, she’s glowing!”

She exchanged a quick glance with Oscar, who seemed as unbothered as ever, though she caught the proud tilt of his smile. “Looks like you’re stealing the show,” he whispered.

As they entered the McLaren garage, the team didn’t hold back their admiration either.

“Y/N, those braids are insane,” one team member said, shaking their head in disbelief.

“Thanks,” she replied, tucking one loose strand behind her ear. “Oscar’s idea, believe it or not.”

“He has good taste,” another engineer quipped, earning a laugh from both of them.

During the race, the cameras couldn’t seem to get enough of her, capturing her seated in the garage with her glowing hair catching the sunlight. Social media exploded, fans praising her look and nicknaming her the “Golden Queen of the Paddock.”

After the race, Oscar returned to the garage, looking a little sheepish but undeniably pleased with his performance.

“Not a bad day,” he said, grabbing a water bottle and leaning against the counter.

“Not bad at all,” Y/N agreed, running her fingers through her braids. “And clearly, you’re not just good at driving. Who knew you had an eye for hair?”

Oscar chuckled, his usual calm demeanor intact. “Well, I figured you deserved something as incredible as you are. And I was right.”

Y/N rolled her eyes, a small smile tugging at her lips. “Don’t let this go to your head, Piastri. But… thank you. I love it.”

“Good,” he replied, his grin softening. “Because you’ve just raised the bar for the entire paddock.”

••••••••••••••••••••••••

F1 Grid Taglist: @esserenorris, @tallrock35, @lightdragonrayne, @evie-119, @donteventry-itdude, @dhanihamidi, @xoscar03, @miarabanana, @decafmickey, @icecoldtires, @evesfile, @mellowluka, @bdreamalot99, @qxeenjen

F1 Taglist: @tallrock35, @yourbane, @hiireadstuff, @really-fucking-tired, @evie-119, @donteventry-itdude, @spookystitchery, @dhanihamidi, @decafmickey, @cmleitora, @d3kstar, @mellowluka, @omgsuperstarg, @qxeenjen

A/N: writing these are so addicting (also I found this while looking up a gif for charles😂😂)

[nightlyrequiem]

How would Valeria deal with a significant other who is a pop star? How would the two navigate a relationship like that considering that one of them is in the spotlight?

Oh there is lots of potential for angst here.... but I have to reel myself back and keep things happy.

What an interesting dynamic too. In the real world, I feel like Popstar!Reader would be in hot water for dating such an awful person.

Valeria x Popstar!Reader

I don't see Valeria as the type to listen to pop. A few songs here and there but I think she prefers 90s rap or even dramatic classical music. She had heard some of your songs playing on the radio and liked them enough to give your name a little search. She found you pretty. You had a few scandals, as comes with the job. The music industry is cruel after all.

Maybe it was drug related, relationship drama, you being 'rude' to paparazzi even though you were only standing up for yourself. Her interest in you starts off as not much. She likes some of your music and thinks you're pretty but then she slowly starts lurking about on your socials. She doesn't follow you but she regularly checks to see if you've made a new post or a new story. Then she starts saving pictures of you. Any kind that catches her eye but a lot of them are you in more revealing outfits.

She feels frustration and jealousy whenever she sees you with friends. You posted one story where you were side hugging some guy and she was in a foul mood all day. She firmly believes that if you and her had met that she'd have a chance with you.

And meet you she did! Maybe you live in Mexico or maybe you're on tout there. Either way, by some stroke of luck you wind up in Las Almas. You were at a club, and Valeria was also at the club. The rest is history.

Valeria did in fact have a chance. Surprising to no one really. She is one fine specimen. After a few drinks you two ended up in bed together. it turned from a one night stand into something more.

It wasn't like she thought though. You're famous. You preform. You're a goddamn popstar. Which means you're on social media a lot. Which means you receive a lot of attention. You have a lot of people in your DMs. Not that you really see or answer them. There's just too many for you to do that. But Valeria sees them. You had also posted a story of the two of you cuddled up on the couch. Now everyone wants to know who she is. What she does, and she doesn't like that so much. It's not good for her line of work after all.

It's also a bit of issue for you. Cancel culture isn't real and I stand by that, but some people are unnaturally obsessive and critical of everything a celebrity (Specifically women) does. See Chappel Roan. You feel nervous that someone will somehow figure out what Valeria does for a living.

There's also the matter of you leaving constantly. Going off on trips and tours. It puts a bit of strain on the relationship. Valeria is irrationally worried that you're cheating on her. You've come to an agreement though. Every night, after every show you either call her or send her a text. Just to make sure you two are communicating. Sometimes the time zones are too different and one of you is asleep by the time the other responds but it works. You also send her videos. Of the crowds or of you in your hotel room. Sometimes though, she’ll join you. Not on stage of course but she’ll put on a hat and attend a concert or two to support you. Amazed at how monolithic you seem.

You two also decided that you won't post Valeria at all. and when you talk about her you have to be as vague as possible. For the safety of both of you.

In short, it’s kind of difficult for you two. There’s a lot of issues that need to be resolved but Valeria likes you enough to actually fix them with you.

[akookminsupporter]

This is why I don’t say I’m a multi (on Twitter). The bad reputation multi’s have is sad, yet understandable. I have multiple accounts where I try to vote equal. If Jimin wins, and my other fave loses, then I’m still happy for Jimin. If my other fave wins, and Jimin loses (which most of the time he doesn’t, for the IT boy he is), then I’m still happy for my other fave.

Like genuinely it bothers me, I saw someone on tiktok who claimed to be a Enhyphen fan and an Army but only bashed Armys for defending Jimin from Enhyphen fans. Like girl, cut the crap. Also some accounts on Twitter claiming to be a “Army” but shading Jimin and acting like Armys are the only ones in the wrong.

Also wanna question, why is it that with Jimin specifically, people claim everything he achieves is because he is a fraud? It’s always “ ____ work hard” and…so did Jimin. Lives with Pdogg for like 10 months working on 2 albums and probably so much more. What about Jimin do they hate so bad that they can’t believe that he achieved all of this because of his dedicated fan base and his hard work (this is not just about the MAMA situation, but in general)?

I saw that video! Several times on Twitter, I might add. It’s funny how you just know how the video or post is going to end the moment it starts with or includes, “I’m ARMY too, but…” That person said something like, “Jimin won, whatever…” Can you imagine being a real ARMY and saying that? That’s exactly the issue I have with so many multis. And a lot of them—obviously not all, but still—are like that. As always, the loudest ones are the worst.

They all hate Jimin because Jimin is almost perfect. He’s a genuinely good person, loved by millions, incredibly talented, and just an all-round amazing human being. Jimin is one of the members who worked the hardest on his album and personally poured himself into it, so to claim otherwise isn’t even insulting—it’s ridiculous. At the end of the day, la envidia es mejor despertarla en otros que sentirla. I don’t know how to say that last part in English, so…

[destinyc1020]

It was so fun back then:

Pure happiness in their faces when they arrived to Atlanta

The chef posting about making dinner for them. Jacob Batalon flew to other place. Tom, Zendaya, Harry, Claire and Z’s cousin. A family gathering for sure. I remember the menu had a British dish

Tom’s hoodie on the floor in Z’s cousin IG post

The photo of Tom & Z hanging out just the two of them. A fan posted it

Tom obviously doing zoom interviews from Z’s house.

Tom unfollowed IG models, lol.

Zendaya following several lingerie accounts😅

The deflated St Valentine ballon like a month after, posted then deleted and posted again without the balloon.

Fun times for sure

Girlfriend that era was something else wasn't it?? Rofl 😅

Don't forget Z trying to make sure that people knew that she and Darnell were both in the SAME HOUSE when they did that zoom thing online and were on separate devices! Rofl 😅 🤣

I guess she didn't want people assuming that she was in Tom's house lol 😆

Remember how giddy she seemed while in Atlanta doing the Jimmy Kimmel interview over Zoom?? With the "Holland Earrings"? 🤭

Whew!!

I remember the JohnDaya shipping nonsense due to M&M coming out lol 😆

One anti in my inbox even had the nerve to say that JDW was flying to Atlanta to be with Z on Valentines day just coz Z's cousin followed him rofl 🤣

Chiiiiilllle that was a crazy time lol 😆

I remember Tom's hot video post in Atlanta showing us that he got the NWH script lol 😆 The white tee, the facial hair, the buffer body... 🔥 🥵

He had just come off of Uncharted filming and baybaaaaayyyy... idk how Z controlled herself lol 😆

If he were my ex and I had a DROUGHT for 7 MONTHS (remember, JE left back in March for Australia due to covid lol 🤭), I would have ripped his clothes off as soon as he got off the plane.... rofl 😅 I don't care what label we are haha 😆 🤣

[peachhcs]

need to know if sammy ever finds out about what kevin and will said

part 3! i think this is gonna be the last part to this side plot unless you guys want me to make a part about samy confronting kevin + breaking up with him or anything else you wanted from this side plot

au masterlist | previous part

"i don't know, will, i think you should tell her the truth," ryan mumbled quietly in the kitchen of the hughes house where marcie and gabe stood around the kitchen island nodding in agreement. the blonde flushed, adverting his gaze from theirs.

it was the weekend, 3 days after the fight between will and kevin. the boy's poor bruise hadn't gotten any better either. it turned that familiar purple-yellow-green color where anyone who saw it would stare a little too long and wonder where it came from. samy had invited the guys and her close friends over to her house as a little post-win celebration. the three happened to find themselves upstairs for a moment away from the commotion down in the basement and ryan brought it up first as he watched his friend wince anytime he talked.

everyone knew the brunette was being serious too because ryan never called will by his first name unless he was being really serious. "it's a perfect time, too, because kevin isn't here," marcie added, but all will did was shake his head.

"guys, i can't. you know i can't."

"dude, he fucking punched you first and yet he's the one threatening you with the video of it. it should be the other way around," gabe scoffed and the other two nodded again.

"yeah, i know he's a fucking idiot, but i can't. if it were any other time, any other year, i wouldn't care, but it's the last year of ntdp. they're counting on me and if i can't play, i'm letting the whole team down," will specifically looked at ryan and gabe when he said that part. "plus, if that video gets out, they could take back my decision about boston. i can't risk that," there was so much riding on this and usually, will wouldn't care about any of it when it came to samy, but he had to this time around.

there was a lot of big things coming up in the next few months and he couldn't ruin it by a stupid video getting out (even if he wasn't in the wrong).

the other three slowly began understanding where will was coming from. a sigh escaped marcie's lips, "you having like 15 people from your family going to bc doesn't hold any weight if the video did get out? would they really take away your spot like that?"

"i mean not really, and yeah they could. we have to keep up our grades and hockey which means no funny business a.k.a no video of me punching and tackling some kid to the ground," gabe and ryan nodded along to the blonde's words.

the weight of this situation seemed to be really hitting everyone.

"well, shit. you shouldn't have to be watching your back for the rest of the year just because of kevin's words and actions. that's not fair because you didn't do anything wrong besides punch him back when he punched first," the girl frowned deeply, shaking her head in frustration.

"that's the technicality of it. i punched back. if i didn't, it might've been different but i engaged in it," will sighed too.

"but what if you did talk to samy and she was able to do something about it like talk to kevin and make sure all the videos are deleted?" gabe suggested, but his idea was shot down when the hockey player shook his head again.

"no, i'm not doing that. kevin was pretty serious the other night about more consequences happening if samy did find out the truth. i don't even wanna begin to think what he would do to her or hurt her if she ended up finding out and confronting him. plus, i don't wanna be the one to tell her how shitty her boyfriend is."

"kevin wouldn't hurt her, i know that. he has a weird soft spot for her," marcie cut in.

"either way, that's not the kind of friend i wanna be to her. if she's happy, then she's happy. i don't wanna ruin that for her," the blonde stated.

"well how happy can she really be if her boyfriend is hurting her other friends, especially the one that means the most to her?" ryan pointed out, raising his eyebrow. "i think she'd appreciate it more if she knew the truth than it being kept from her. i think she'd beat herself up more about it if she found out she didn't know."

"who's boyfriend is hurting who?" samy's sudden voice made all four of them jump. she was lingering in the entryway, her gaze finding will's first before drifting across to marcie, gabe, and ryan.

the blonde flushed, his gaze rushing to any of the other three for help. they struggled and quickly knew they couldn't lie their way out this time.

"maybe we should let you guys talk.." ryan mumbled, nodding his head to the door for the others to follow. samy grew even more confused while will glared at them as they snuck out.

"seriously guys?" the blonde huffed.

gabe just winked before completely disappearing from the kitchen. only will and samy were the ones left.

"so.." samy wondered carefully, her eyes on her friend in front of her who shut his eyes briefly.

"wanna go outside? it might be quiter," the hockey player suggested in an attempt to stall for more time and figure out how he was gonna word this.

samy didn't say anything as she followed will to the back patio. the two sat down on the top step, a bit of an uncomfortable silence surrounding them.

"remember when marcie said she hit me on the cheek and that's how i got this bruise?" the blonde finally began.

"yeah?"

"that wasn't true..we were lying to you," will cringed at his own words and avoided samy's gaze.

"lying? what? why? who gave you that bruise then?" the brunette pushed her questions all to which will hesitated in telling her again. she found his gaze, her own clouded over with worry and concern for him.

"your boyfriend," will admitted quietly.

there was a slight pause.

"kevin?"

"i wasn't supposed to tell you, but you walked in at the wrong time when we were talking about it," will looked away again.

"kevin punched you? why? why didn't you tell me sooner? are you okay?" more questions flew from her mouth in a crazy rush.

"because he threatened me, samy. he threatened me with a video of it happening when i punched him back in exchange that i wouldn't tell you," the blonde cut her off, his tone becoming a bit firm which shocked both of them.

"threatened you? will, what the fuck. a video? why did he not want me to know?" the boy cringed for probably the fourth time. he picked at the skin on his fingers to do anything to keep his eyes off the girl beside him.

"we shouldn't even be talking about this," the blonde muttered.

"will, tell me."

"him and his friend tyler were standing behind gabe and i during halftime at the game. they were trying pull a reaction from..from well, me, and tyler started saying how kevin was so lucky because you're the hottest girl at school and he'd totally fuck you if kevin didn't already have dibs. kevin never defended you and it pissed me off what they were saying about you, so i whipped around and told them to shut up and stop. they didn't and we argued and then kevin punched me. i punched back and we started actually fighting one another," the whole entire story slipped from the hockey player's lips and he left out the part where kevin was taunting him about liking samy too.

the youngest hughes was silent for a good 30 seconds as she processed everything will just told her. he sat there nervously awaiting her response.

“then he threatened me with a video of the whole thing and how he’d post it so i’d get in trouble by my coaches if i ended up telling you or anyone else the truth about what happened,” the blonde continued when samy didn’t say anything.

“holy shit, will. i didn’t even know or even suspect..” the girl trailed off.

“i mean how could you have? we lied to you and i’m sure kevin did too.”

“jesus..that’s why you didn’t wanna tell me?” they finally met each other’s eyes.

“if it were any other year, i’d tell you in a heartbeat, but with this being the last year of..everything, i couldn’t risk it. i’m sorry. i shouldn’t have..”

“don’t apologize to me. you have nothing to be sorry for, will. you didn’t do anything wrong. fucking kevin did and punched you and i’m so sorry he did,” samy shook her head.

“i was just scared of what he’d do to you if you found out the truth and confronted him if he could throw a nasty punch like that to me,” they both frowned.

“well, i am gonna confront him either way. he shouldn’t be doing this shit, especially to my friends. i-i should’ve known. i don’t know why i didn’t push further about it to the other night.”

“if he finds out you know he’s gonna do a lot of real damage,” will grimaced.

“well, i’ll make sure he doesn’t. trust me, will. he has a soft spot for me. i’ll make sure he deletes that video and..i think i’m gonna break up with him,” the last part caught will of guard even though everyone’s been wanting that since they got together.

“break up with him?”

“i’ve been thinking about it for..since three weeks into the relationship but i wasn’t sure. this can be my real excuse that i don’t wanna be with someone who treats my friends that way,” the girl explained with another shake of her head.

“i-i didn’t..i don’t wanna be the reason you break up with him though if you really like him,” will sputtered.

“i don’t..really like him. he was just someone that was there..i don’t know. he’s been saying shit to me and i just don’t wanna deal with that anymore.”

“shit, i’m sorry, samy,” the hockey player frowned.

“don’t worry about it. thanks for telling me, will. i’m glad you’re okay and please don’t be afraid to tell me stuff like that. you’re my best friend and i don’t want people hurting you because you’re someone i’m close with,” she caressed the bruise and her touch sent will’s entire body on fire.

she was so gentle with her fingers and those thoughts will’s been trying to keep down came running up his chest like a finish line. so much so that he nearly did something about it until the back door flew open and the two pulled apart.

“shit, sorry,” it was lauren.

“you’re fine. what’s up?” samy jumped up.

“nothing, we were just looking for you. didn’t mean to interrupt..” will stood up too and quickly shook his head.

“you weren’t interrupting. we were just talking,” the blonde managed.

lauren glanced between the two again before slowly nodding and disappearing back inside. will let out a small breath he was holding it, shaking off the feeling of how close him and samy were to kissing.

“i’ll talk to him. don’t worry, okay?” samy said one last time, her hand on his arm.

“yeah, thanks,” the blonde smiled.

she returned his smile before the two headed back inside to continue the party. the rest of the night will’s mind was filled with the feeling of samy’s touch on his skin and how he wanted it to happen again and again.

[messrsrarchives]

Coming here as someone who loves your stuff on Mtok because three of my favorite trans creators left today and two more left the day before and I'm worried. You must see that more people talk about things when you do and it feels like they're all following you because of that video and idk if you considered that we'd lost more creators before posting it? Hope you're doing okay though and I'm sorry Mtok got rough

okay i typed out a very passive aggressive response here, then considered deleting this like i do most anons like this, then ended up settling on yapping - i promise gang, i talk about other things than being trans but that seems to be the forefront right now. back to regular scheduling soon <3

first of all, this tumblr post here is from when i made my original video discussing the reboot. the number there say 47 trans people but it's well above that now with the amount of conversations i have had with trans people in this fandom - it may be worthwhile to read some of the points and see how widespread this feeling of isolation and helplessness is, and has been for a while now

secondly,,, once again it's influence not individual :/ like wow! this person has a certain number of followers ! that must be why this is happening ! when actually,,, a lot of trans people in this fandom feel like shit. you can see it in the comments of every video i've made about the reboot, you can see it in the comments of the video where i get asked how i feel about fem sirius, you can see it under Every video where transness is brought into question in this fandom.

most of all, you can see it when Talking To Trans People. and viewing them as individuals, not just "creators".

because i've seen multiple videos of trans people stepping down today and i could sit back and apologise for "influencing" that, or i could be glad that people are leaving a space that doesn't feel safe, and i can reach out to them like i have done and applaud them for looking after themselves.

also,,,, more passive aggressive i think, but people Aren't talking about this. they are on tumblr, yes, but on tiktok it feels like me and three other people MAXIMUM that are talking about it, all of them trans. when i talk about fics? yes, i watch them circle around. when i say a headcanon? i watch that circle around - when i say that i, and many other trans people in this fandom, feel like it's unsafe? barely anything on that app. (and yes, tumblr is a better platform for this, tiktok isn't built for long-form discussions but wow it's tiring being The One to speak about it over this, which sounds big-headed but,,, i have been. and it sucks.)

i think you, and many others, have a very warped perception of what i do because i just,,, post. for me. not for traction or influence or blah blah blah, i pop on and talk about something i enjoy because i like talking.

idk man. maybe it isn't because messrsrobyn posted a video.

maybe it's because this fandom has a massive transphobia problem when discussing character discourse, gender presentation, the infantilisation of trans members of the fandom, the support for jkr, the hyping up of hp cast members that haven't shown us support, the marauders fans posting at studios/with official merch, not deleting harmful comments under posts, crying about trans characters "heterosexualising gay couples", the arguing over heights and top/bottom, the debates about makeup and clothing and- i could go on and on.

maybe it's not because messrsrobyn posted a video. maybe it's because y'all need to do better.

and mostly, the cherry on top, maybe it's because trans people are tired of fighting this alone and making up 99% of those speaking out again jkr on that app.

maybe we're tired of fighting to belong, speaking out about it, and then being asked for fic recs.

idk! food for thought

[rambles-about-minecraft-ocs]

one of my favorite things about zedaph is that on a server full of people that find strange and oft-overlooked minecraft mechanics or rare events and then see just how far they can push them in the name of spectacle or efficiency or world-breaking, zed is over here finding these mechanics in order to do the weirdest things he can think of in as entertaining a manner as possible

like i 100% have faith in zedaph's theoretical ability to be just as efficient or spectacular or world-breaking. if he wanted to do that stuff, i trust that he absolutely could. but thats so far from being his priority. instead, hes going to spend around a week of irl time focused entirely on eventually having the good luck to spawn in something insanely rare so that he can convert it into something even rarer, the result of which being something that 99% of the server reacts with complete and utter shock that it even exists in the first place, just because its zany and funny and he wanted to. and i love that

[me-sploh-rada-imas]

same vibe

[kayzero]

cmon guys wheres the yuri

[imjustaf444keriguess]

okay, im gonna react to each of these separately, if i miss any important details in any of the studies or sources feel free to correct me. also at times i use just DID to refer to traumagenic and disordered systemhood, but note that i count the OSDD1 presentations and any similar complex dissociative disorder with self-presentations / plurality the same as DID in this post.

the first one seems to talk about dissociation in general, and how it presents over many dissociative disorders. it mentions a "trauma model" and a "taxon model" vaguely, and then goes to talk about dissociative disorders exclusively after. this doesn't prove or disprove possible non-pathological forms of plurality and systemhood, and i can't tell if they're on the side of "it's solely dissociation" or if it's a "we believe there's two different kinds of dissociation" here

The Trauma Model posits that dissociation is a psychobiological state or trait that functions as a protective response to traumatic or overwhelming experiences.4 Dissociation is most commonly conceptualized as a continuum from normal to pathological, with states of intense absorption, like spacing out while driving and missing an exit at one end, and severe dissociative disorders like DID at the other. Research supports an alternative: the Taxon Model positing two continua: normal and pathological dissociation.5 The latter comprises a distinct group of highly traumatized individuals—about 3.5% of the general population—who endorse a specific cluster of symptoms consistent with severe dissociative psychopathology such as DID.

i mentioned in my other reblog a quote from the authors of the TOSD saying that non-disordered multiplicity and dissociation (like that with mediums and hypnosis) is potentially possible and needs to be studied, so just saying that there's a trauma model of dissociation is like... yeah? there's clearly non-pathological form of dissociation too, though. depends on what you're classifying as dissociation thugh (like, is reading a novel dissociation?)

the next one is from "thepsychpractice.com", which is not really a resource i'd trust to be truly unbiased. it's also about DID only, not proving non-traumagenic plurality impossible. we also know it's possible to create alters and to influence them, and alters can change their internalized identity. they, in a sense, CAN choose their name, age, gender, etc. it's just not something another alter can change for that alter.

the next one is also from DID-research, which, again, is about DID. nothing on that page says anything about how non-traumagenic systems and plurals can't exist, it's just some med students large-carrd at the end of the day (a good and generally informative page about DID still, but not directly a source to say "non-traumagenic systems don't exist).

i don't have time to focus and watch a tiktok, trying to focus on an auditory input right now would probably make my brain explode, but i bet that user has a decently good summary for DID systems. tiktok is not a source to disprove endogenic systems though. the existence of DID systems and trauma-formed systems are also not proof against endogenic systems and endogenic plurality.

another .com site that seems to be summarizing DID for the laymen like the psych practice. beachsideteen.com is probably not made by the cutting-edge scientists, i'd guess. it does seem to agree with most average people on its facts and is against fakeclaiming, somewhat, but again it's not really a source that's debunking endogenic plurality.

it also uses integration instead of final fusion in its wording, which many people would say is wrong (as integration is just connecting the parts, final fusion is the full merging of parts, and functional multiplicity is still being separate "selves" while lowering the dissociation barriers between parts.

also, with tiktok and other social media platforms, different alters can switch in and choose to create videos and such. while this is not the same as the "switching on camera" trend they mentioned specifically, it is similar where people fakeclaim others for switching to create a video together as a system- which is entirely possible because alters can front, they can communicate, and they can have interests outside of the trauma (and they SHOULD, since life is not JUST trauma and even traumagenic alters deserve to be silly and have fun). that's not entirely related to the topic at hand, but is important to note. alters are ,at their core, still people (or at LEAST parts of a person), they still have the ability to want to feel joy and have fun. sometimes, they want to use tiktok to be silly and have fun. i don't get it because i hate tiktok but thats due to me hating tiktok, not all shortform video content creation.

yet another .com site (traumadissociation.com) that only talks about DID. it DOES mention maladaptive daydreaming, but that's a separate (proposed) disorder, and doesn't really relate to endogenic plurality's validity or not. it's the same as mentioning BPD and its similarities to some DID experiences,

this one is ALSO a .com site but seems to actually show a study(? paper?) talking about DID and its presentation. while my simple skimming through doens't show anything that says "multiple 'sentient' self states is only possible through trauma, it does show a pretty good perspective on DID systems and why they might form. i'll read this one better later, but i don't think it's good evidence to disprove endogenic plurality itself (again, the existemce of traumagenic plurality and DID systemhood is not evidence against the idea that non-traumagenic plurality and non DID systemhood can exist)

and... that's it. a few resources on DID specifically, and only two are "valid" sources. and, as far as i can read, the sources don't say that endogenic plurality is not possible, they're just talking about DID and dissociation in a pathological sense.

("valid' here as in "could be a source that i'd read that would prove endogenic plurality and systemhood impossible," as most or even all of these sources are good for DID specifically, and some are good for singlets to read at a glance or for some newly-diagnosed DID systems to read to understand their experience better and give words to their experiences)

if i missed any specific points in the first and last links that do have direct statements against endogenic (non-disordered / trauma-based) plurality, do point them out as well. i am human and could have missed something!

whoever changed the endogenic wiki page just know i love you and ur the best

[manasurge]

Just a bit of lore relevant vent art (with terrible proportions bc apparently I mess that up horribly when I'm tired ugh. Watch me regret posting this tomorrow. The head size is already driving me mad bc it's too big, and I can feel myself wanting to abort this mission already) of Mourynn just, lying down on top of one of those large elevated Pale Tree roots far above the Grove (and far away from everyone else), and during the time between the early years and before the Personal story. Caithe is gone (Destiny's Edge), Wynne is gone (bc well, y'know...), even Faolain is gone (bc of Caithe in DE), and she's just feeling miserable, lost, and alone. (Her hair is in between her sapling hair and the Zhaitan hair, so it's grown out a bit bc she's depressed, and she's meant to be in the new outfit she designed, but I'm in the process of redesigning it a bit, so I've made a few tentative changes for now. Her collar is now just an extension of her clavicle leaves which can be put up like a collar, or can be draped down over her shoulders or back)

[pigeon-butch]

I certainly have my own concerns about the treatment of moo deng but um. well i think some of you may just be racist

[yourlocalsewerdragon]

revisiting this site every now and then to reminisce in how much it shaped me as a person and defined me as a literal child