#i portray it very much as fear of rejection

[devourcr]

when it comes to armand's amc verse, i portray him as having wanted to turn daniel from the moment he arrives in dubai/if not beforehand.

because my portrayal includes the 12 years of devils minion happening in the past ( this can be changed based on other amc!daniels, i won't force it on anyone), he already has strong feelings.

i respect it if there are daniel's that don't want that history. and in that case, armand probably just obsessively watched him from the sidelines, followed his career, and his relationships, etc. something about daniel changes his fucking brain chemistry.

when it comes to breaking traumatic or abusive cycles, armand does not break them. except for when it comes to making another vampire. he would rather die than make another, he wouldn't wish it on his worst enemy, etc. if he wouldn't do it to his worst enemy, i can't see him doing it out of spite.

but eventually, the thought of seeing daniel die, the idea of going on in a world where daniel doesn't exist is too painful and armand caves.

[paganminiskirt]

I also love how Vegito and Gogeta are not only distinctly different beings, and the former is conducted primarily by Vegeta while the latter is conducted primarily by Goku - but Vegito is clearly the more benevolent and emotionally involved of the two people, while Gogeta tends more towards frigidity and vindictiveness. Because as individuals, Vegeta’s “good side” is just as subliminal and rare to witness as Goku’s “bad side,” right; Vegeta is not a nice man by nature, and Goku doesn’t have a grudge holding bone in his body. Goku’s lack of any impulse towards vengeance is the only reason Vegeta is still breathing. This is well established.

But when Vegeta is shown to care for other people, it always manifests as him lashing out in defense of them against some greater source of cruelty - he gets pissed at Beerus for humiliating his father, he attacks Beerus for hurting Bulma, he freaks out on Cell for killing Future Trunks & knocks Present Trunks out immediately after hugging him for the first time, because he knows his son would insist on staying with him through his kamikaze attempt on Buu. Because Trunks is like that. Because Trunks is his son.

And Vegito takes that principle and drags it out to the extreme! The whole first fight with Buu is just him playing this sadistic cat and mouse game, very much in the arrogant style of Vegeta, but he also makes constant mention of the loss of Gohan, Goten, Trunks and the others - using the language of “stealing” “hunting” and “kidnapping” that brings to mind Vegeta’s own childhood trauma. He displays some aspects of Goku’s personality of course, with the playfulness and the attempts to get Buu to surrender, but Vegeta is obviously steering this ship. It’s his confidence and self-superiority that makes them lose the fight, and his belief in the necessity of a warrior’s “pride” that he explicitly cites as his reason for looking down on Buu.

Because this is what Vegeta’s attempts at “good” look like, right? Preternaturally violent and egotistical, but with a sense of protectiveness and paternity that renders his behavior heartwarming, at least enough to show you that he’s grown from the smirking, bloodthirsty garden gnome he was first introduced to us as. Underneath all the bravado, Vegito is aggrieved on behalf of someone else. He’s being kind in the only way he knows how.

Gogeta… is not that guy. He doesn’t do rescue missions, and he doesn’t feel the need to remind you of his superiority. He portrays himself as an avenger, not a defender, with lines that evoke a sense of justice and consequence like “it’s over, I’ve come for you” and “your own bad energy will be your undoing.” He snidely tells Frieza he’s coming back for him after he’s done with Broly, even though he’s visibly incapacitated and not really picking a fight. He forgoes Vegito’s up-close and relatively simple combat style in favor of these dramatic, wide-ranging attacks, more like an act of god than a natural disaster. And while Vegito allowed Buu to play with him a bit, postponing the end of the fight to sate his own lust for battle, Broly doesn’t even get to touch Gogeta once he goes super saiyan, his dedication to the pursuit reminding you of Goku’s final battle with Frieza.

…Except Goku offered Frieza clemency, and looked genuinely disappointed when he rejected it. Gogeta does no such thing. The audience gets to watch, half in awe and half in horror, as he renders this uber-aggressive Saiyan attack dog into a flailing, incoherent mess, not bothering to stop and ask him to surrender even though the updated Broly is a much more sympathetic character than Frieza or Majin Buu ever were. He enunciates the final kamehameha with such gravitas that you actually feel scared for Broly - and in the older movie, when Janemba switches back to his original form, he takes one look at Gogeta’s glowering face and scurries away in terror.

Hey, remember how Gohan fled in fear when Goku (under extreme duress) threatened him during the fight with Frieza? After he transformed into a super saiyan for the first time, guided only by mindless rage after Frieza’s pointless killing of Krillin? During a fight which only began after Vegeta, someone who caused him immeasurable harm in the past, told him to avenge the killing of both their families & the genocide of their race? All of which took place on a planet which the earthlings only had to travel to in the first place because the Saiyans killed several of their friends - a slaughter which Goku witnessed the aftermath of, at which point he told Nappa “there will be no mercy for you, you bastard” in the original manga?

Goku gets slotted into this role quite a lot, doesn’t he. He’s a protector, but also a savior, a planner, a consoler, and an avenger. He does his best to help people and he raises hell when he can’t, but he’s not vengeful by nature. Quite the opposite. See how he treats Vegeta in the Namek saga, smiling at him and bantering with him like he’s a coworker, and not the guy who crushed his bones to dust while cackling with sadistic delight.

But that’s because Vegeta only did that much damage to him. Nappa killed all the others - with Vegeta’s eager permission, yes, but that’s still enough distance to allow Goku to psychologically seperate him from those crimes. Goku’s clemency initially emerged as a byproduct of his desire to help people, but we have seen that same drive give way to brutal punitiveness when he fails, and somebody he loves dies. You can argue that it's misdirected self-hatred, anger at his own inability to be the hero those people trusted him to be - Krillin died screaming “Goku!” you might recall. The removal from other people Goku grew up enduring feeds into his sense of responsibility for the community that grew around him as an adult. He knows how important he is, and it hurts when he comes up short.

And I think that, understanding Gogeta to be primarily led by Goku but still notably impacted by Vegeta, that intense drive towards retribution the fusion displays takes on more meaning. Vegito exemplifies Vegeta’s better impulses, which are brought out in full force by Goku’s influence - Gogeta exemplifies Goku’s ugliest inner desires, with the leash he usually keeps them on loosened by Vegeta’s influence.

Because Vegeta was knocking down 100+ sentient creatures per day as soon as he could walk. He spent most of his adult life as a pampered slave, he murdered one of his oldest companions without a second thought, his introductory panel shows him munching on a severed limb, ffs. Vegeta has been through a lot, and I'm the last person to downplay that, but he hasn’t been going through it emotionally involved. He's used to this. He had to be. If he wasn't, his whole psyche would've collapsed by age twelve tops.

But Goku? Goku had to do all of that with his feelings turned on! And he chooses to remain steadfastly good and give second chances no matter how bad the situation, and that’s a healthy enough way of dealing with all this horror. But a side effect of being guided by that choice is the knowledge that he could be worse, he could be crueler. He’s a lot like Gohan, in that sense.

And Vegeta used his dying breaths to beg Goku to abandon that long-abiding impulse to show mercy. Goku might believe in forgiveness, and he might’ve let Vegeta go because of that belief, but Vegeta is a stubborn little bastard. He thinks that it’s holding him back, allowing people to slip through the cracks; to get hurt. And we’ve established that these two are both capable of misdirecting self-anger at others, though Vegeta does it much more often than Goku.

So when Goku’s mind is merged with Vegeta’s, and he’s forced to look back on his decisions to allow horrible people to live not with pride, but with regret and disgust, it manifests as Gogeta. A walking overcorrection, the sentient reconciliation of these two belief systems. Who doesn’t forgive and doesn’t forget, self-assured and bitter and terrifying, like Goku was for the first twenty seconds after he went Super Saiyan. Like he always told himself he wouldn’t be.

[bloodashre]

Sorry to ruin the movie magic for some of you, but it's extremely unlikely that the shots of The Kiss are edited to be longer. Like, a million to one.

How do I know? I'm in school for filmmaking, so I'll share a bit with you.

1. The first reason is the most important. It is very difficult to edit a shot to be longer (and almost never done, especially by professionals) and not have it be obvious. It is painfully obvious, particularly to other filmmakers, when someone does actually do this. I can almost guarantee that if this had happened, other filmmakers in the industry most certainly would have called them out for it. I've personally watched the scene literally thousands of times (I'm not exaggerating) and in my semi-professional opinion (yes, I've already made my own films, though I haven't been paid for any of my work yet), it's not edited to be longer.

2. Nearly as important and launching off the above, it's much more likely - and more easily and actually often done - that it's edited to be shorter.

Additionally, there's no reason to think it would be edited to be longer when it comes to the story. It's unnecessary. The reason it looks so awkward to solve of you is because - newsflash - it IS awkward! It's meant to be awkward!

Aziraphale is caught off guard, during a moment of being about to break down, crying, in the midst of an argument. He was just rejected. He's potentially thought about this moment so many times. It is possible he thought The Metatron was threatening Crowley, which just happened only a few minutes ago! And lastly, there's literally thousands of years of feelings that haven't been spoken aloud - at least not properly, depending which theory you follow.

And there's even more depending which theories you subscribe to that support this even further.

And then, there's the fact that, at least for a moment, he kisses him back. He goes from being surprised, to resistance, to acceptance, to reciprocation, to rejection in a matter of less than 30 freaking seconds - while also portraying all the unspokenness, uncertainty, and fear of 6000 years, as well as a possible threat AND rejection of Crowley refusing to come with him ALL AT THE SAME TIME.

It's so awkward and complicated and terrible - and yet also wonderful - and Michael Sheen is honestly a fucking MASTER for the amount of emotions he's able to portray in such an insanely small amount of time. Please please PLEASE don't reduce his abilities and the beauty of the story to editing some bullshit that any filmmaker with any actual integrity would never do.

[acey-wacey]

Good morning!!! Congrats for hitting 2000 followers, I think you really deserve it! Also, I'm really glad that you've returned! I've been following your blog ever since last year, when I found your "Love Rivals" and "Meeting your future children", I really like how you portray the twst characters in your writings! There are times where I smiled For the 2000 milestone event, could I please request Idia with Lavender (Mind Reading)? You know how Idia usually think lowly himself, right? What if Idia has feelings for reader, yet he doesn't take action because of his low self-esteem/fear of rejection, but when Idia got in a potion accident where he can temporarily read minds, all he can hear from reader's mind are praises and thoughts of infatuation/admiration about him.

So that's the general idea of it, the rest is up to you. Also, I don't mind if you'll make a few changes here and there. That's all, thank you and have a nice day!

This is so cute! Thank you for hanging around so long!

I may have niche-video-game-referenced my way a little too close to the sun with this one. Hopefully, it makes sense to somebody.

...

Pairing - Idia Shroud x Reader

Prompt - Mind Reader

...

"Tuna, tuna, tuna, tuna, tuna, tuna, tuna, tuna..."

It has been 40 minutes since Idia had gained his powers of telepathy and already he wanted them gone. Grim hadn't had a single thought the entire class except a dumb song he made up about tuna.

The whole thing had been Grim's fault really. The mischievous cat had run away from you and invaded the 3rd year alchemy room. And of course he ran right into Idia just as the upperclassman was adding ground eye of newt to his animal comprehension potion, causing the vial to smash all over him.

You had apologized profusely and tried to wrangle Grim back to your classroom, but Crewel made you miss your class and clean all the dirty cauldrons as punishment, thus why Idia couldn't stop hearing Grim's

Everyone else went on with making their potion, but unfortunately for Idia and his tendency to get overstimulated, he could hear the immediate thoughts of every person in the classroom. He had been trying and failing to pay attention to the lesson due to the crazy noise. Serves him right for daring to venture outside his room.

"I think I put too much nightshade."

"When's lunch again?"

"Sevens, he's pretty."

Idia perked up in his seat. That last one was your voice. He looked over to where you were scrubbing grime off the rim of a black cauldron. Much to his surprise, he made eye contact with you. You looked away so fast, he almost thought he imagined it in the first place.

"Shoot, I hope he didn't catch me staring," you thought. Idia could see the embarrassment in your face now that he knew what he was looking for. He didn't know who was standing behind him, but whoever the guy was was maxed out in luck to get the prefect to like him.

Idia turned back to his cauldron and began to stir lethargically. He tried to block out the noise coming from everyone's thoughts but it was getting very loud. He just wanted to be back in his room playing video games!

"His little pout is so cute! Poor thing, he probably wishes he was back in his room," you thought. Idia's brows furrowed as he subtly looked around the classroom trying to find the person you were thinking about. "I wonder what he's looking for."

Idia snapped back to look at you, only to find you glancing at him again. This time, you were startled but you held his gaze and offered a hesitant wave.

Idia turned his face away as fast as he could so you wouldn't see the growing blush on his face.

"Hm, his hair is turning pink on the ends. I hope he's not mad at me for staring at him," you thought, turning back to the cauldron you were working on. "Though if he doesn't want me to look at him, maybe he should try being less nice to look at."

Idia let out an involuntary squeak. He felt his head start to swim and quickly sat down on a nearby stool. He was sure he looked absolutely crazy to the other students but he was so preoccupied by your thoughts that were apparently about him.

"Is that shallow of me to think that? I don't know. I mean, I don't like him just because he's cute. I also love listening to him talk about games he likes and his inventions are crazy awesome!"

Idia pulled himself deeper into his jacket. Your gaze had been fixed firmly on your work for fear of being caught staring again, so you didn't notice Idia's rapidly increasing fluster meter.

"I like how sweet he is to Ortho, even though he kind of hates everyone else." You sounded kind of defeated when you thought that, or at least you would if your thoughts sounded like anything. "He probably hates me too. I am just another normie. Though I don't know if he co-ops Untitled Goose Game with just anyone."

"No! I don't!" he wanted to scream, but he couldn't get a single sound out of his mouth. He thought he was the self-deprecating one, but you seemed to have convinced yourself that the boy who had a big fat, very obvious crush on you hated you. He even let you play the blue switch controller even though it was his favorite.

"I do wish he would stop being so mean to himself though," you thought, more sincere than Idia expected. "He's so amazing, but refuses to believe anything nice I or Ortho say to him. Maybe if he read my mind, he'd know I'm being sincere."

Idia froze. Did you know about the potion? Had you been messing with him the whole time?

"Well, that little brat better believe me when I tell him I love him even if I have to beat it into him with a Wii remote tennis racket attachment," you thought with a playful vengeance. "Do you hear that, Idia Shroud? I'm gonna make you believe nice things about yourself no matter how many niche video games references it takes!"

That was the moment you decided to glance at Idia, downright shocked when you found him curled up inside his hoodie on a stool with bright pink hair poking out the top.

"Idia, are you okay?" you asked. When he didn't respond, you went up to him and brought your face down to where his would be if you could see it. "Hey, are you alright?"

He jumped, almost falling off the chair.

"You actually said that?" he looked stunned which confused you.

"Yes?" you offered, unsure what he was talking about. "I did just say it."

"Uh, um, I'm, uh, fine," Idia tried to smile at you but it came off more pained than reassuring.

"I don't believe you. What's the matter? Is it too loud in here?" you asked.

"Shame he's always hiding his face. His blush is so adorable!"

"Yes!" Idia shrieked frantically, catching the attention of a few nearby students. "It's too loud. I can't think."

You nodded empathetically.

"You wanna step out for a minute?" you offered, gesturing to the door with a nod of your head. Idia nodded, desperate to get away. It really was very loud, especially with everyone's thoughts flooding his brain. Your seemingly-harmless sweet nothings were only the final nail in his coffin.

You followed Idia out of the room and shut the door behind you.

"Won't Professor Crewel get mad?"

You scoffed.

"Not a single teacher at this school gets to get mad at me after everything I've done," you leaned against the wall with a calming smile. "And if they do, they'll answer to the ghosts that live in my house."

That made Idia chuckle. You lit up seeing a smile on his face, no matter how minute.

"I love seeing you smile. If only I could be the reason more often."

"You're pretty much the only reason," Idia mumbled. Your easy smile dropped.

"What did you say?"

"What?" Idia averted his eyes, his mind filling with panic. "I didn't say anything."

"No, no, you said 'you're pretty much the only reason'," you questioned, your eyes full of confusion and shock. "That sounded like... I don't know, I was thinking something and then you said that and it sounded like..."

You squinted in confusion before scoffing at yourself and relaxing.

"That's stupid, Y/N. He can't read your mind."

"Actually, I can?" Idia squeaked, his voice getting higher with every word. Your eyes widened.

"Idia," you said solemnly, standing dead still.

"Mm-hm?"

"You can read my mind."

"Well, not usually, but there was a thing with a potion and it was with Grim and it messed with my head and now I can read minds and it's actually really loud but mostly I'm just nervous because of the stuff you've been thinking and I'm just really..."

You held up a hand to silence Idia's rapid rambling. He looked away sheepishly. You sighed and blinked a few times to process before laughing. Idia looked up in confusion.

"Aren't you mad?" he asked hesitantly. "I violated your privacy."

"I mean, you saved me the time of confessing to you myself," you chuckled, a giddy smile on your face.

Idia stared at you, trying to find traces of joking but you seemed to be serious.

"You aren't mad?"

"I'm in love with you is what I am."

[wield-the-mighty-pen]

I’m curious to know what makes you like Ladrien. What’s the appeal? I have my reasons for why I dislike them, so I’m definitely interested to hear all about the other side.

Absolutely no hate, I’m just super curious

Hi! First of all, thank you for giving me an excuse to babble on about Ladrien 🥰

I just want to preface this by stating that it is my belief that people who don't like Ladrien, are those who don't really understand the ship and/or the beauty to the ship, so it would be my pleasure to talk about why I love them so much:

1. They are the pinnacle of Lovesquare mutual pining

I personally am a mutual pining fiend. If there is mutual pining in a ship, chances are you can find me onboard. Mutual pining is probably my favorite part of a ship timeline, I love the angst, the bitter-sweetness, the confused and pained but still loving interactions, and my friend, Ladrien has all that and a bag of chips.

The thing is, Adrien is in love with Ladybug, Ladybug is in love with Adrien, but there's a certain impossibility to their love. Ladybug doesn't know Adrien well enough to love him, so it would never cross his mind that she would even entertain him as a romantic interest. Adrien has hardly even interacted with Ladybug, so it certainly wouldn't make sense that he would have feelings for her, forget about being in love with her.

What cements these beliefs is the fact that they both know the other in very different circumstances. Chat Noir and Marinette both know that the person they are in love with is not fickle about their feelings and is not shallow about love, they aren't just going to fall in love with some random celebrity. What's even more so is the fact that Ladybug knows that Adrien is in love with someone (circa season 3) and Adrien knows that Ladybug is in love with someone (circa season 2), making it so that they believe that the others' affections are tied elsewhere, seemingly making them unavailable (hence the pining).

I also want to point out that Ladrien is also void of the friendships of Adrinette and Ladynoir, meaning the pining becomes even more powerful as they don't even have access to the comforts of friendship. They are apart in every painful way.

This all creates an environment where every interaction between the two is filled with this yearning tension of wanting to be closer, wanting to move closer, but having to stop themselves because it doesn't make sense, because they fear rejection, because they just can't.

2. They have amazing on-screen chemistry and interactions

If you don't watch any season 2 Ladrien scene with a giant smile on your face, then you are missing out. I chose to mention season 2 in particular, because it's the season with the most Ladrien interaction, but honestly, you can find amazing Ladrien in every season.

The way they both stare at each other in wonder, in the first ever Ladrien interaction might I add, in season one's episode "The Mime", was the perfect way to set the stage for what we were to expect from this ship. They love each other, they are amazed by each other, they make each other dizzy and distracted, it's beautiful and hopeful, and directly contrasts the very difficult interactions that Adrien has in the episode with his father. Whereas Adrien's family is a point of pain for him, Ladybug is the light, the hope for him

Just discussing my two favorite Ladrien scenes, their chemistry and brilliantly portrayed relationship is obvious. Firstly, there is the catch scene in "Gorizilla". I don't think this scene needs explanation, but my goodness it is one I like to talk/think about a lot. The way he portrays implicit trust in Ladybug, the way he fully believes that she will catch him, is just so djaskljdaksljdkals, it's so sweet to watch. But then, she catches him, and even without talking about the trope subversion (though it is important), the way that they stare at each other, how their sole focus is on each other, how the catch was fast and sudden, but then Ladybug slows down to make the descent more comfortable for Adrien, it's all just *chef's kiss*. Adrien is then so enamored and lovestruck, that he forgets where he is, he forgets who he is, and nearly exposes himself by using a term of endearment for his love, which is just the most Ladrien thing ever jdksadjaskld

Finally, I want to talk about my other favorite Ladrien scene, which is the panic attack scene at the end of "Strike Back". Here we see Ladybug coping with the worst betrayal she has ever endured, and at the hands of the person who looks identical to the boy standing in front of here. And with all that uncertainty and mistrust, he stays there, he comforts her, he talks her through her panic, through her next steps. And when he offers her to detransform in his bathroom, with only a door to prevent her reveal, despite being unsure and cautious, she ultimately decides to trust him. She puts her vulnerability into his hands and allows him to see her emotional vulnerability and potentially have access to her physical vulnerability.

(there are more scenes to talk about but for brevity's sake I will stop here)

3. They very obviously love and support each other, despite the circumstances of their relationship

Just drawing back to the episodes that were mentioned in the last point, just from viewing those two scene alone, it is obvious that though they both love each other, she also trusts him and he trusts her.

The truth of the matter is, no side of the lovesquare exists in a vacuum. The sides bleed and meld and create together some amalgamated item that will only feel whole when the full square is revealed. As such, the knowledge and feelings that they have as Adrinette and Ladynoir, are going to have some presence while they are Ladrien.

My point of mentioning this, is that trust and sensitivity for each other is going to be present in their relationship, even if they didn't necessarily reach that development as Ladrien. On paper, Ladrien is a superhero and a model who have only interacted a handful of times. And yet, to both of them, their relationship is so much deeper than that.

They know each other, they're familar with each other, and yet, they're not. Adrien knows how Ladybug will take a joke from Chat Noir, but he doesn't know how she'll take one from Adrien, or why there's a difference. Ladybug knows how Adrien will react to a gift from Marinette, but she doesn't know how he'll take one from Ladybug, nor why there might be a difference. Adrien might know Ladybug's favorite drink order, but he doesn't know her birthday, her parents' name, etc. And Likewise, Ladybug might know Adrien's favorite color, but she doesn't know what he does at night, where the ring on his finger is from.

And yet, despite all of this, despite only being familiar with half a person, they take that half and choose to love them whole-heartedly. They choose to take the information they have and trust that person blindly. Despite, the impossibility of their relationship, they choose to continue to hope.

Because they admire each other, they care for each other, they love each other, and they will do everything in their power to continue to do that. And I think that's beautiful.

There are more reasons, but these are the main three, and I doubt you want to hear me drone on, so hope this sufficed!

Thank you for the ask! <3

[markantonys]

While I still don't think the show has done enough to show why the world despises and fears male channelers (since it really should've been embedded into the world building, so far we only know that the Aes Sedai hate and fear them) and it does kinda lessen the impact of the narrative that none of the EF5 had at least an initial gut reaction to Rand being able to channel. I do wonder how they're gonna handle that topic moving forward, cause it kinda has to be addressed now that Rand is actively channeling. I could see it being expanded more deeply as Rand's madness progresses/tie it into his arc.

the show has made it ABUNDANTLY clear that Male Channelers Are Considered Bad News By All. it IS embedded into the worldbuilding. was the king saying that logain's gone mad and trying to kill him not enough for you? was the people of tar valon jeering and throwing fruit at him not enough for you? was rand and mat saying "hey if i'm a male channeler please kill me" not enough for you? was rand's terror the second he realized selene saw him channel not enough for you? was selene's act of how a normal person would react to finding out her boyfriend can channel not enough for you? was his heartbroken yet unsurprised reaction to her rejection not enough for you? was the whole backstory of a male channeler causing the apocalypse not enough for you? do you think that show-onlys are completely incapable of putting all these pieces together along with aes sedai treatment of male channelers and coming to the conclusion that male channelers are probably not very popular with most people and it's going to be very tough for rand that he is one?

literally what else should they have done that would make sense within the very small world and very early story of the first 2 seasons/3 books that they didn't already do? shown emond's fielders sitting around the dinner table talking about how much they hate and fear male channelers when none of them has ever met one and thus it's not relevant to their lives? wasted time doing a whole sidequest for rand in s2 where his abilities are discovered by some Average Citizens and they react badly? shit all over show!mat's characterization and given him a negative reaction to rand in s2 that would not make sense for his current show headspace, just for the sake of furthering rand's randpain? i'm sick of the rand stans who act like rand is the only character who matters and mat's characterization should be sacrificed just so we can go "oh poor rand uwu even his own best friend is mean to him". portraying mat in 2x06 as the sort of person who bullies and kicks his best friend while he's down would've been beneficial because......? what is so wrong with the show making the ef5 feel like mutually loyal friends instead of "rand is the best and most loyal friend in the world but the rest are little shits who abandon him as soon as the going gets tough"? seeing as in the books, mat continues to be an extremely loyal friend to rand throughout the series but most readers are too stupid to see through his unreliable narration and realize he doesn't mean it when he says that rand channeling is like him eating babies, i'm not surprised the show decided to simplify things in order to convey the true heart of mat's character (loyal and caring friend to rand) in a more obvious manner.

and i guarantee you that no show-only is going "oh, it's only aes sedai who have a problem with male channelers, everyone else thinks they're cool". that's not happening. show-onlys are not stupid, and they understand that male channelers are considered bad news by all; or maybe they haven't thought much yet about how male channelers are viewed by the average public, but in future seasons once we see rand getting shit from the average public, they are not going to be surprised or confused or go "but i thought it was only aes sedai who had a problem with them and everyone else thinks they're cool?", they're going to go "oh, well we've seen how much aes sedai hate them, so it makes sense that everyone else does too". stop. think for 2 seconds about "have i actually seen a large number* of show-onlys misunderstanding X and/or do i think it's plausible that a large number of show-onlys would be likely to misunderstand X, or do show-onlys have enough context clues to figure out X for themselves or to be unsurprised when X is expanded on and made more explicit in future seasons and i'm working myself up into a state over a non-issue?"

*there are always going to be a handful of people incapable of critical thinking who willfully misunderstand what the show is showing us, just like there are readers like that with the books, hence unless a LARGE number of general-population show-onlys are misunderstanding X, as opposed to just 20 idiots on twitter, i do not consider it a failure by the show in portraying X.

[karizard-ao3]

Sex and sexuality is a prevalent theme in NGE, and especially in EoE. What are your thoughts about this?

I've been sitting on this one (and therefore the other asks in my inbox because I like to do them in order) for a few days to see if I could come up with a nice, coherent answer, but, as always, I can't so I must ramble instead.

One of the things I appreciate about the way sex/ sexuality is addressed in NGE/EoE is how messily and amorally it is portrayed, because I feel like that's very realistic. Clearly, it is important to apply morality to sex in practice (like, getting consent, respecting the sexual boundaries of your relationship(s), etc), but internally it's all a sloppy grey area, and sometimes people are going to do questionable things in moments of weakness (ex. try to hook up with an ex's bff who you don't even get along with because you're drunk and still upset about the breakup). And we see that a lot in Evangelion, as well as the characters' conflicting feelings about it.

For instance, Misato. Do I actually think she was attracted to Shinji? No. I think she cared about him very much as a guardian, but when she didn't know how to comfort him/ encourage him, she turned to offering sex. I read someone saying that she sees sex as a source of comfort due to sleeping with Kaji as a way to get over her father's death, which could be true, but I'm not sure that seems quite right to me. I believe she uses it as a tool in some ways. As an escape in others. And as a way to manufacture emotional connectedness in other instances. Sometimes all at once. And we see that she feels conflicted about it as well, because she's not sure if she loves Kaji or is using him. Then, Queen Daddy issues saw her ward in a bad spot and, with everything going to shit around them, she tries to use sex as a tool to motivate Shinji and also show him that she cares about him (even though it was so incredibly inappropriate 😭). Anyway, for Misato, sex is the cure to the hedgehog's dilemma, I suppose!

And then there's Shinji. The only time he seems able to make any kind of advance towards Asuka is when she is asleep, which I do not think is a sign that he is a predator but more an indicator of how deeply pervasive his inability to open himself up to other people is. It is *symbolic*. It's not okay what he did, but I think we are supposed to see it as a symptom of his own self loathing, and that he wants to reach out and touch people but is too afraid to make the move when they are able to perceive him doing it. Shinji masturbating to Asuka's exposed body at the hospital was obviously wrong, but it also seems like the summary of his relationship with her and the version of himself that exists through her. I'm trying to think how to describe it. i've written and deleted so many things. I don't know. Ugh. When she cannot see him, he can finally reveal how desperate he is for her to be with him. She is the one he seeks out when everything goes to shit, although if she were awake, I don't think he could have been so honest about how much he needed her. But she's in a coma so he is free to beg her to wake up, then, when her robe falls open... you know. It's like he's carrying out his half of a relationship in a bubble, without every offering her the chance to join him. And he hates himself for it, just like he hates himself for what he did in her hospital room. He knows masturbating to her unconscious body was wrong. He knows she is more than just jackoff fuel. He know she deserves to actually be held and loved. But he is immobilized by his fear of rejection and how others see him (and also so unbelievably horny because he's a teenage boy). The kiss between him and Asuka is really unfortunate because if either of them had just given the other any kind of indication that it was special to them in any way, I think things would have gone a lot differently. Shinji believes Asuka was just doing it because she was bored and mad about Kaji being out with Misato (right? Am I remembering the circumstances right?), and then, because Shinji just stood there, Asuka believes that Shinji only let her kiss him because she grabbed his nose and forced him, and not because of any affection for her. They were both too afraid to be honest. Maybe if Asuka had been more patient, Shinji would have closed the space and kissed her. Maybe if Shinji had held her, she wouldn't have run away after, screaming about it being a mistake. Maybe it wouldn't have gotten to the point where the hospital scene played out the way it did.

Which brings me to Asuka, who is the last one I will talk about because I think these three are the ones with the more convoluted attitudes towards sex and also this is already getting long. I think Asuka was really profoundly affected by her father finding and hooking up with another woman while her mother was ill (her mother's doctor, no less). I think it gave her the belief that a woman who is able to provide sex is a woman who will receive loyalty and love. She throws herself at Kaji, an adult who she feels safe with and wants the approval of, because, to her, that is the way to secure his affection. When we first meet her, she shows off how big her boobs got. Could that not be her way of announcing that she is lovable? But Kar, you might say, she freaks out about boys looking at her panties and things. To which I say: Yeah. She's 14. She's putting on a show, just like in everything else she does, trying to prove to everyone that she is worthwhile. Look how artlessly she comes on to both Shinji and Kaji. She wants to be seen as sexy and desirable because to her that's a means to an end, which is making sure people have a reason to want her around and notice her. What she really wants to be cherished. If Shinji had been able to show her that he reciprocated her interest/attraction, then I think there would have been a natural progression in their physical relationship. In closing, Asuka exists in a perpetual state of conflict because she demands love in whatever way she thinks the can obtain it, but she does not actually know what the love she needs looks like. I think if someone simply hugged her and stroked her hair and told her how brave she's been, she would sob for a day and a night.

Whew. And, of course, my thoughts might change after I finish my rewatch and eventually get my hands on the rebuild movies and rewatch in the future, but that's where I am on the subject right now. And I didn't even address Shinji and Kaworu. But, I think that whole thing is pretty straightforward. Kaworu pretty much ignores all of Shinji's reservations and showers him in praise and affection and Shinji goes all heart eyes because it's the first time he's felt wanted and he's bi.

[tonydaddingham]

still near catatonic about the show and the direction in which it was taken. ive seen macbeth on stage once before, and then on screen a few more times, and yet this one is probably the most sensitive, clever, and plain interesting version ive seen out of all of them?

you have david portraying macbeth as this really formidable, brave and lauded general, initially curious but otherwise sceptical at The Prophecy. that's a given. but then he gradually succumbs to ambition and greed; but what i didn't expect is the choice to emphasise how pitiful his wavering resolve would be? how he oscillates so heavily between heeding that greed, but initially clings to the last vestiges of his honour and morality. it's not just that he's a dick with sudden flashes of morality; you can feel that there's a war going on in there, and a constant underlying fear and terror. with macbeth in general i think it's tempting to immediately make macbeth either a mindless and easily-swayed tool of his wife or to make him outright bloodthirsty and tyrannical from the onset, but you don't... get that in this? at all? and it pleasantly surprised me. instead you get a deliciously insidious and creeping mania, steadily suffocating him (beautifully portrayed by a combination of the rest of the company, the score, and the lighting) and get to watch how it just ousts every last good and decent part of him, done so perfectly that i genuinely felt terrified and tense the whole time.

and then LADY MACBETH oh my GOD SO. so. from the first moment that she was on stage, cush was just utterly captivating. i didn't ever want to look away from her, even as she lingers in the background??? her madness, such as it is (and for lack of a better term), is so apparent from the very first moment that she's on stage; jittery hand movements, darting eyes, and a sweet, almost childlike voice? for me, the fact that this is not a wholly scheming, cruel, and demonised version of her, and instead is a lady macbeth that is achingly vulnerable, was so refreshing. like yeah she's visually marked with this sort of innocence, but it carries into cush's mannerisms and delivery too. despite her plotting and what she goads macbeth into doing - almost to a point that it seems like he deliberately uses her ambition as a scapegoat for his own - you end up seeing her as a lost soul, of sorts, and want to protect her from her own mind. the fact that you don't see a manifestation of her 'madness', only macbeth's, makes it all the more intriguing. and the language and imagery of rejecting her femininity and womanhood not only provides a contrast to macbeth re: perceived weakness/lack of conviction, but also further elucidates on how haunted of a person she seems to be? idk if that makes any sense but at times it felt like i was watching a play composed of ghosts right from the beginning. favourite portrayal of lady macbeth ever, hands down.

and then god im going to dream about the blocking and the choreography for bloody ages; not just the ceilidh (which was awesome, loved that sm) and the fight scene, but the choices in how each character moves around and uses the stage, and how they interact with each other (in this, lady macduff was particularly mesmerising goddamn). epitome of this however is a) the opening of the whole play because 🙃🫣🫠, and b) act 4 with the song of the witches (i don't want to spoil it or any of the other more horror-like scenes but im now intrigued that max webster also did king lear 👀 and would be very interested if he did something like othello, too). last thing was the sound; i didn't read much up on the first run before seeing it, so the only feature that i really knew about was the sound design- i was initially worried that it might be a bit gimmicky? but fuck it was complete genius.

anyway so this was a complete ramble but if anyone is still unsure whether to try getting on the day tickets just. do it. it's an incredible version of macbeth, and im fucking pumped that i get to see it twice more, because there is just so much that im sure i didn't pay enough attention to, and absolutely deserves it. amazing company, amazing play, and whilst - don't get me wrong - i feel this is one of his most defining (if not The defining) shakespeare role for david, i truly didn't expect to be so blown away by literally everything else.

[truffle-worm]

Now that I’ve finally read Night of the Nindroids I've decided to make a little analysis on the way Zane is portrayed in that comic. I know it technically isn’t canon but I just found it so interesting, I couldn't stop thinking about it.

Spoilers up ahead!

The comic starts off with the ninja telling each other jokes. Frustrated with Zane’s lack of humor, Jay makes a somewhat rude comment towards him and then immediately apologizes. What really stuck out to me is how Zane responded. He said “I am not sure I have feelings to be hurt”, which tells me that Zane himself seems to doubt his own personhood.

Next night, Zane gets caught by the Nindroids and faces the Overlord. The Overlord rhetorically asks him what he’s afraid of, immediately following by a statement that Zane is incapable of feeling anything. Not love, not hate, not fear. Everything he ever experienced has been an imitation of real feelings. He's only a robot. The Overlord uses extremely manipulative language in order to make his offer sound more tempting. That offer being: turning Zane human. Transferring his mind to one of his friends’ bodies and killing them in the process. Zane of course rejects that idea, but the Overlord continues to push, pointing out how he’ll never be like his friends, how he’ll never truly understand them. Zane fled, but the narrator points out that those words really stuck in his head. 

Next day, Zane asks Cole about doubts and fears and Cole responds, saying that pretty much everyone has those and that Zane is lucky he doesn’t have to worry about them. Zane hesitantly agrees, though you can see by his face that he’s clearly bothered. Honestly this conversation characterizes Cole in a weird way imo, almost like he’s denying Zane’s feelings? I know Cole acted way different in early seasons and this comic is very old but even then it feels a bit out of character? Idk just my opinion.

Now, Zane does end up taking the Overlord’s offer, choosing Kai’s body as his future vessel, but it’s later revealed that he only pretended to betray his friends. In reality, Zane and the ninja hatched an elaborate plan together to take down the Nindroid army. They pretended to have a serious fight and then they pretended to be defeated by Zane. Honestly I wish we got to see a flashback of that conversation. I mean, in order for them to hatch that plan, Zane would’ve had to reveal the Overlord’s offer and therefore expose his deepest insecurities, which would've inevitably lead to a serious conversation about the way he viewed himself in relation to others. It’s a shame we didn’t get that, it could’ve been really interesting.

Now, Zane didn’t tell the ninja the full extent of his plan (I’m assuming it’s because he was constantly being watched by nindroids) but in order for it to work, Kai had to get really close to losing his life. It was a pretty reckless plan and at one point Zane even marked how he was unsure about whether it would even work. I think it could’ve been interesting if Kai held a bit of a grudge towards Zane afterwards, but then again, this story is about trusting your friends so I understand why he didn’t.

In the end though, Nya helped save the ninja, revealing that Zane had asked her for help. To keep it secret from the nindroids, Zane used a code that him and Nya had created together one time. I think it’s sweet how they have their own code. I love their duo.

Anyways, when Zane triple-crossed the Overlord, the Overlord started yelling about how Zane had forfeited his chance at humanity, to which he responded with “If I had done what you asked, I might have had a human body, but I would have been far from human”, which might be one of my favorite Zane lines. It's powerful. It’s a stark contrast from the beginning of the comic, when he seemed to question his personhood and the reality of his feelings. Now he’s confident about them. Because he knows he cares about his friends. And no matter whether he’s a machine or not, they will always have his back. And he will always have theirs.

Overall, Night of the Nindroids wasn’t perfect, but I still find their portrayal of Zane pretty compelling. The comic dove down some pretty interesting topics regarding his insecurities, which is something I wish was more elaborated on in the show. I also wish the comic gave us a heartfelt moment between him and the ninja, where he reveals his insecurities to his friends and they give him reassurance, as I think that would really cement their mutual trust.

If you think I’ve missed something, feel free to add on.

[bestworstcase]

any thoughts on the branwens (as in, the group, not the twins) like world building tidbits? also, because i’ve seen people bring it up, raven has killed a lot of people (assumably??), so how do you think the show will handle that going forward?

i kind of metronome back and forth with the branwens on how i read them, because – with the disclaimer that it is Not That Deep because the whole bandit tribe exists to service raven's character and to a lesser extent qrow's, i just brought a shovel – i think there's two interesting ways to take them:

the branwens are an ethnic group, probably historically pastoralist nomads. in this case the composition of the camp we see – 100% able-bodied fighters, no children or elderly – would indicate that this is just a war party and the rest of this society is out in the hinterlands with the livestock. mistrali expansion in the pre-war era would have driven them further and further onto marginal land, with the result of them becoming increasingly reliant on raiding to survive.

the branwens represent a grab-bag of disaffected people who Left Mistral because of its various problems (steep class stratification, widespread poverty, rampant organized crime, political corruption, imperial history meaning many people living in mistral now are descended from conquered peoples…) and discovered that like, subsistence farming is hard and turned to banditry instead, in which case the branwens are unlikely to be very cohesive in the absence of a strong leader because there's less of a cultural bond.

#2 strikes me as more in line with the probable intention based on how they're portrayed, but assuming "branwen" is the tribe name (as opposed to them being "the branwen tribe" now because a woman named raven branwen leads them), then i think #1 is more interesting with regard to ozpin admitting qrow and raven to beacon.

if the branwens are an ethnic minority in mistral, ozpin is a lot more likely to have heard of them vs an ad hoc group of bandits. now consider how "the branwens are an ethnic minority (and the encampment we see is a war party, supplementing a pastoral subsistence base by raiding)" alters the context of "aside from grimm, huntsmen were the only ones capable of ruining our raids and hunting us down. our tribe needed a counterforce." and think about the mistrali huntsmen openly extorting passengers for protection money.

right. like, again it's Not That Deep, we're in headcanon territory here, but pulling away from the text in this way adds an interesting dimension to the twins' enrollment – on the one hand it would be discriminatory for ozpin to reject them on the basis of being branwens and on the other, we know that mistral broadly has a serious problem with corrupt and outright criminal huntsmen and the fear of huntsmen "hunting us down" means something very different if the bandits are just the military force of a nomadic society – it's a fear not for the warriors but for the most vulnerable members.

and then you have the twins on this divergent path because their purpose (to protect those of their people who cannot defend themselves) is exactly ozpin's purpose, he just defines the whole world as his people. it's not so much that the twins reject the branwen way of thinking as it is that ozpin challenges them to expand upon it, to think bigger and wider than before.

qrow embraces this and it shifts his perspective on the raiding – he comes to see it as part of the problem, the warriors as killers and thieves; raven likewise embraces it but in her mind, ozpin's ideals are the justification for the raiding. the warriors exist to defend the people, here as at home. what difference does it make if the danger is from grimm or huntsmen or deprivation?

(on its face this may seem contradicted by "the strong live, the weak die," except that raven is also someone preoccupied with "our people," "our family," "we must do what's right for the tribe" and so forth; a strong society is one that can protect its people, even the weak, and the rhetorical idea of heroic guardians sheltering the defenseless populace boils down to "the strong live, and the weak will die without protection by the strong.")

#2 interests me more in terms of how it contributes to the picture the narrative has painted of mistral as this decaying empire that is sort of hemorrhaging population because people. don't want to live there, don't want to have its way of life imposed on them, and we see over and over that the people who feel this way often feel so strongly that they'd genuinely rather leave and take their chances with the grimm.

like, we don't see that in vale – mountain glenn was built under vale's auspices and populated by valean citizens – and we don't see it in atlas – the free towns in arrowfell are clearly older than atlas/mantle. and we don't see it in vacuo, where despite marked cultural differences between desert vacuans and city vacuans both groups firmly consider themselves One People.

i think it's less interesting in regard to the twins than the first option, though. because if the branwens are legitimately just bandits then the absence of children/elderly in the camp would imply that the twins were kept solely to be trained into weapons and the break between them is more straightforward, with their different perspectives reflecting a childhood dynamic where qrow was the whipping boy and raven favored.

whereas if the branwens constitute a whole, functional society – a) any children born into this group must learn some basic self defense as a matter of course, they live in grimm territory, and b) the nature of qrow's semblance, the tribe's fear of him, and his grimm reaper fanboying opens the question of whether it was less "the twins were kept to be molded into living weapons" and more "qrow didn't want to become a warrior, but misfortune kept getting blamed for things like sheep dying or a birth going wrong or grimm hitting the main camp and he wanted so badly to be good for something, and going on raids kept him at a safe distance from home and in a place where he could at least try to inflict misfortune on the enemy instead."

you still have the dynamic of qrow suffering ostracism and maybe even the threat of exile while raven is a natural fit for what she wants to be, and the first stroke of the lifelong pattern qrow has of isolating himself from people he cares for in this specific way. "why couldn't you travel with us?" / "did you know that crows are a sign of bad luck?" – hits different if the defining experience of qrow's childhood was running with war parties because he was too dangerous to be a shepherd. if the thing that really appealed to him most about the legend of the grimm reaper was that she was good enough to protect and defend her people alone.

and then from raven's side you have the maybe not entirely getting why qrow would want to be anything else, and the being glad her brother is with her most of the time, and the being afraid he might leave her behind. i just think it allows for more complexity.

as for raven killing people: i honestly don't think it's going to matter that much beyond maybe raven and yang having a conversation about it – bc i think yang will probably want to know more about why raven picked banditry over being her mom. like.

it happened. raven feeling remorseful isn't going to make it not have happened. she can't bring those people back to life or rebuild those towns or undo what she did. in vacuo, on the other side of the world, there's not really anything she can do meaningfully within the scope of the story to make amends to the people she hurt, either. what matters in the moment is that she's here now, doing what she can to help. the narrative has always cared more about the present and the future than the past, and the stakes are too high for the characters to let "but you did all this awful stuff in the past" become a distraction.

gestures at letting neo go.

gestures at giving emerald a second chance.

and while the context is different and in no way morally equivalent, i'll point out that like. team rwby have killed people too – the white fang militants in v2 for example, and of course adam – they are trained combatants fighting a war. none of them have ever blinked at using lethal force when it is appropriate to do so. and if they can find it in themselves to show grace to emerald, whose reason for participating in the terroristic sack of beacon was more or less just devotion to cinder, then i don't think subsistence raiding is somehow a bridge too far.

not to say that what the branwens do isn't bad but it is of a different scale from terrorism, and raiding for provisions you need to survive is a lot closer to killing enemy combatants in a battle, or to robyn's or sienna's vigilantism, than it is to terrorism. so yeah i think it's ancillary to the personal reconciliation between raven and yang moreso than it is some sort of moral quandary necessitating special handling by the narrative.

[limpwristssavelives]

one of the things that stuck out to me in the newsreader was how much chemistry dale had with both helen and tim

i feel like in a lot of male centered bi love triangles the woman isn’t very likeable or interesting or doesn’t have as much chemistry with the lead

from what i’ve seen most male centered bi love triangles usually involve a man in a relationship with a woman who then cheats on her with another man and we inherently pity the woman or view her as being in the way of this mlm ship and i think there’s usually a bias in the writing or the fandom for who the protagonist should be with from the start (whether it’s the man or the woman)

but in dale and helen’s relationship it blossomed over multiple episodes of them hanging out and getting to know each other and only then turning romantic and sexual whereas dale and tim have a sexual yearning for one another but haven’t gotten to really know each other yet they each have such different relationships and attractions to each other which i think is really interesting to explore

helen is lonely and wants companionship she’s mentally ill and needs someone to care about her and be there for her when she’s in an emotionally fragile she has no relationship with her family cuz they put her in a mental institution when she was young and takes pills to cope with her mental instability and the pressures of her career/work environment (her boss probably gave her the addiction in the first place) dale is lonely too his (presumably) last relationship ended with him being arrested and labeled a pervert he is very caring and wants to help others so his relationship with helen makes perfect sense why they click and he also wants to be a newsreader which is what helen does best so they form this partnership of helping each other which ends up going into romantic/sexual territory

we don’t know a lot about tim other than he’s kind and playful doesn’t hide the fact that he’s gay and he has liked dale from the beginning and he treats dale very kindly even tho dale was rejecting their attraction and even quit his job when he could tell that helen knew and was in distress over their affair he also went to dales house to make sure he was okay and asked about his past being someone dale can talk about his sexuality and the only person who can really see dale for all that he is without fear of judgement

i think dale has also liked tim from the beginning (whether he consciously knew it or not) but pushed it down to pursue a career and relationship with helen he has been repressing his sexuality since he was in high school and i think he kind of woke up when helen referred to tim as “gay tim” he wanted tim to confirm that he was gay and confirmed their attraction when they kissed in the bar which (due to his past trauma) made dale panic and hate himself promising it would never happen again after his talk with tim about his past he says that he’ll choose his career over being who he is but when he finally talks with helen and explains himself he is met with acceptance

at the end of season 1 we don’t know if helen and dale will continue their romantic relationship or just be friends/colleagues i also thought it was really interesting that in an interview someone said that dales sexuality is ambiguous and in another interview said that dale and helen’s relationship was intentionally portrayed as towing the line of platonic and romantic

season 2 is going to be so interesting to see where they go with both relationships and how dale handles his career and sexuality

[katerinaaqu]

Hey it's the anon who asked the elpenor's question, i meant it like his age during the illiad so i'm sorry for not being very specific.

But also i wanna ask about your thoughts on Eurylochus in Epic the Musical and how he is portrayed in the musical, since you're very honest on some things you dislike in it, i am genuinely curious on how you think of the musical version of him.

I see. I find it interesting that you clarified after 5 different replies Anon! Hahahaha! XD But yes I suppose I should have seen that coming. Like I said it is not impossible. Many soldiers in the war we are expecting to be at least 15 16 or 17 years of age. It is possible but we already analized that before. I for some reason imagined him closer to his 20s when he joined but both hypothesis are possible. Elpenor is a blank page after all.

I strongly dislike the plot of the musical yes. But I had mentioned to another post of mine that ironically Eurylochus was much more interesting as character development even than Odysseus himself. I think since Eurylochus was not THAT much expanded in the Odyssey apart from his role as Odysseus's oposition and kinda his "nemesis" in one way given how it was Eurylochus the one to persuade the men to slay the cattle of Helios. His character development, given what we had from the Odyssey, is not bad. In fact I came across some of the deleated or rejected projects and I am glad they rejected them because they pictured Eurylochus almost like a villain and that, in opposition of that massively toned down Odysseus they went for in the beginning, would have been catastrophic in my opinion for the rest of the plot. Given what they used at the end was not bad at all.

I actually find it so ironic and sad for me at least, that Eurylochus was more Odyssey-accurate and respecting the character development than Odysseus himself.

His fear was a massive part of character development and given how some scholiasts placed Eurylochus to most of the difficult adventures of Odysseus, including the cave of Polyphemus, which I also tried to memorize in my own drafts for Odyssey:

it is no wonder that he was frightened, let's say in parts like Circe. That part was accurate enough and up until that point I was very satisified with the portrayal of Eurylochus despite the changes that had started to emerge to the Musical. I also liked his primary theme song "How Much Longer" given how accurately it seems to depict the character development he would logically have; Eurylochus has been through much more than the average person would so no wonder he was often tripping at the end. Now the way Eurylochus was treated overall in the musical was very good. I strongly disliked the context he was placed in aka the plot of the whole thing because I feel Eurylochus would have shone much brighter in a more accurate setting the way he was given voice and more lines in the musical than in the Odyssey. His character development was much more natural than any other character in the musical; Polites was massively stripped down as the "kind-hearted relief" given how he was a clean-slate character that was not as bad as others but still I think Polites would have shone better if he had more sides than just childish gladness and innocence. Then we have Odysseus who was massively toned down to be an almost "from white to black" character development; from an edge to another; he started off as innocent like "don't hurt this" or "don't kill that" (not counting Astyanax by the way. Mostly speak about the early drafts I saw plus his behavior with Polyphemus and all) to go to the other end

Eurylochus didn't follow that trap. He was depicted as a human character with doubts and worries, strengths and weaknesses. In fact characters like Eurylochus made me even more disappointed at the way the musical treated the source material because the existence of the first two sagas and Eurylochus probed that he can take liberties, he can create an engaging plot without screwing over the original material. Now Eurylochus in Mutiny song had me cringe but that is not because of the character itself but because of the plot. Ironically the character was very accurate in that scene but there the plot felt very rushed; it didn't show the true depth of their fear and hunger waiting for days and days in the island of Helios having their provisions done and all but the reasoning behind his attack seemed compatible to Eurylochus's character, if that makes sense.

So I disliked only some polarized moments (or the whole nickname thing with the random "Ody" placed there out of nowhere. Like he never called him that ever and that was placed there to appease to the modern audience with pet names and nicknames which not only were not a thing in antiquity but also Eurylochus never openly used that before but okay) but as a character development is not bad. It was accurate to the source material and given more voice to work with.

[battry-acid]

From your recent piece with Colossus in it, I would love you to elaborate on the autism mention!!

If it’s a hc, I love it, I have never thought of it before and it just makes a lot of sense

absolutely!!! apologies for the incoming ramble

yes it's only a headcanon, not actually canon (for now). i've always related to colossus both as a neurodivergent person and as an artist due to how it's easiest for him to communicate his feelings through art, and how he otherwise normally struggles with words. that is the main reason i view him as autistic, among many other reasons. the many other reasons are listed below!

<< DISCLAIMER: when i talk about x-men characters, unless i'm specifying a particular IP/media, just assume i'm talking about the original run of the all-new all-different uncanny x-men comics and how the characters are portrayed there. 1975-1990 is the sweet spot. that is the "source material" to me, the blueprint of what roles those characters are made to serve and what their most prominent traits are. yay >>

1. COMMUNICATES BEST THROUGH ART

piotr specifically says "my pencil can create far better pictures of this land...than my poor words." in "prison of the heart" (this story appears in vol 1 issue 5 of classic x-men as it was cut from the original run of UXM. it takes place between issues 97 and 98). yet he still calls his drawings "not very good". he thinks he's terrible at communicating no matter how he tries to do so.

to summarize in the story, he falls in love with a fellow russian immigrant with an artistic heart named anya. he expresses his affection by giving her a drawing of her performing, "from my heart to yours". it is the purest way he can express how he feels.

and yet, it doesn't work out. he protects her by turning into colossus, a show of his care for her, and she runs from him in fear.

this sequence makes my heart EXPLODE. mfw autistic people get called heartless all the time for struggling with empathy

the way he talks and acts as colossus is entirely different to how he talks and acts as piotr. it's obvious by how quickly his voice dies in his throat when returning to his unarmoured state. he was boasting such confidence in armoured form, and when it's over....all that confidence is gone. this is the purest example of how he switches between confident and quiet, protected and sensitive, physically and emotionally between forms.

from then on, he's afraid of himself, and more afraid to express himself. he continues to hide his art and he avoids forming stronger bonds with anyone other than fellow x-men, and even that is hard for him. he has intense rejection sensitivity (like meee) and i think he has incredibly high levels of empathy (LIKE MEEE) which is as much an autistic trait as low levels of empathy are. he cares so much, he cares so much it hurts, so he has to protect himself.

it is a common theme with the characterization of piotr that his powers are defense, they are to protect himself and others. he needs to protect his sensitive heart. so large, so compassionate, but so fragile. he may be able to protect himself from physical harm in his armoured state, but he cannot protect himself from emotional harm no matter what he does. he still has his weaknesses, impenetrable skin or no.

2. STRUGGLES IN HIS RELATIONSHIPS

when he gets another chance at romance in "first love" (classic x-men vol 1 issue 21, also in UXM issue 115) he is afraid. he says that he is afraid repeatedly and uhhh there's a lot of things that happen in that story that i am going to avoid talking about right now (it has triggering content and is recognized as a problematic portrayal of indigenous pacific islanders. boy oh boy do i hate the savage land. i may talk about this more in depth at another time if somebody wants me to!) it's like, yay, they don't judge him for being a mutant, or for being afraid!!! but at what cost (bad things happen to him)

and this is, of course, not the only instances of piotr having issues with romance. he seems to constantly experience issues in relationships due to his insecurities, rejection sensitivity, and (very reasonable imo) fears. he has as much trouble expressing his affections for someone as he does verbalizing his discomfort in others' advances towards him. because even when he has said no in the past, some have not listened to him. so he chooses to stay silent. I ALSO HAVE HAD THESE ISSUES!!! it can be so hard being in relationships (romantic or otherwise) as an autistic person, it can be so hard learning effective ways to communicate, it can be so hard constantly fighting to be treated like a person. that's what he feels like to me. he does make progress over time, but it's difficult for him, and he never truly masters it.

3. HAS HIS HEAD IN THE CLOUDS

there's also the entire aspect of piotr of being a bit oblivious at times. sometimes it's to depict him as a younger member of the group with less experience, or as the russian who doesn't understand american customs, or just simply a guy off in his own world that only snaps back to reality when he has to focus on a fight. he ain't the leader for a reason, he's a follower type of guy. my favourite thing ever is when they talk about him like he isn't there and he's just "?"

i don't know why they repeatedly depict piotr as just "❓" red question mark emoji personified but i never want it to stop. i actually adore it

but just being a little oblivious isn't enough sometimes. sometimes they gotta push it. sometimes he's portrayed as being so stupid that he can't even count!!! love to see it! (/s) people looove to insult his intelligence. people looove to call him an idiot both in and out of canon. don't that just remind you of somethin? of having your intelligence questioned all the time solely based on how you act?

you see this struggle to advocate for himself, or being a bit naïve in his hopes for another person, in every single depiction of piotr. or, at least, every single accurately characterized depiction of piotr. in as long drawn-out plot points of piotr feeling as though he can't join the x-men in x-men: evolution, from as small instances of deadpool grabbing his ass in the deadpool movies and him clearly being kind of uncomfortable but giving up on trying to sway wade, you see him struggle to verbalize how he feels. he always says nothing. he's called the strong but silent type for a reason.

4. PREFERS TO PLAY IT BY THE BOOK

on a different note, we get to see how much he loves rules and schedules and routines. he is definitely a goody two-shoes at times in terms of how inclined he is to follow the rules no matter what, usually because that's what he thinks xavier wants him to do. it takes encouragement for him to want to do something other than what he understands to be the socially acceptable thing to do.

just one mere example of his nature to follow the rules:

this one panel is single-handedly one of the best representations of how the three of them interact with each other and what makes them such a fun trouple

there's so many more examples i could point out, but it can all be summarized simply by the fact that he is always a follower, never a leader. he doesn't like to make the rules, he just likes to follow them. he likes to have a clear idea of what he is expected and supposed to do, and can easily be directed in ways that benefit others the most. i love being told what to do if it means i get to help other people!!! it's so much easier having someone tell me what to do and clearly communicate what is expected of me instead of playing this constant social guessing game i always find myself in.

IN CONCLUSION...

so he's kind of unobservant, emotionally illiterate, rule-oriented, experiences empathy at an abnormal level, and expresses himself best in artistic ways. so what, you may ask? that's hardly enough evidence to be autistic. make him take the RAADS, you fool. and to that, i say....y'know what, fair, you don't have to agree with me, but also i don't care and he's autistic and yay yippee yippee i love colossus so much yaaay he's autistic just like me :D!!!

i have so many feelings about piotr. can you tell x-men has been my special interest since i was 8 years old?

<< also yes i know there is a kitty-sized elephant in the room. if someone sends an ask for me to do so, i may talk about my feelings on her relationship with piotr at some point. that is a whole other can of worms >>

[rocksibblingsau]

Honestly, in only one chapter you have already written one of my favorite Poppy interpretations in the entire fandom. I always thought that one of her most characterizing but actually underrepresented traits is her obsolete complete lack of emotional intelligence while still being one of the kindest and well-meaning souls in the Trolls universe.

She is so similar to Branch in that way she has a clear difficulty reading and understanding people and their actions (omg they're sooo autism4autism coded fr fr /hj), they only feel so different from each other because while Branch fills that void of emotional intelligence with self-doubt and pessimism, Poppy fills it with optimism and always believing that everyone only have the best of intentions at heart.

Both of them love others with all of their hearts and loyalty, the only difference is, Poppy grew up never fearing that her trust and love were or could even be misplaced. That anyone should willing choose to harm and betray her.

And that is another reason why I love your portray of Poppy so much, because while she is still very trusting and naive, she still refuses to be vulnerable around others. Not because she is afraid to be hurt or rejected like Branch, but because she is so naturally self-sacrificing and loves the people around her so deeply that she refuses to worry them or purposely make them uncomfortable. Poppy is not worried that she is greying because she herself is going through it, but because she doesn't want her friends and father to worry about her.

She doesn't actively thinks lesser of herself like Branch does, but actually does it passively. There isn't a conscious thought process of "My issues and problems are less deserving of acknowledgement" but she continually chooses to place others' feelings, comfort and safety above her own... I going to be honest here, even I didn't realize how much Branch and Poppy paralleled and complimented each other before writing this. But the world is full of surprises I guess????

Sorry for the big ramble, really, but amazing chapter and character writing from your part nonetheless. Very excited for chapter 28 and I would like to officially state my guest for the mysterious character as Dickory, the beloved tiny angry goatman.

Thank you so much! Poppy has some fun parallels to Branch because you're right, she does seem to have some issues understanding people, as well as also refusing to be vulnerable in front of others. Like Branch she tends to go through a lot of thoughts really fast, but for the most part she tends not to assume the worst of people.

She doesn't fear being rejected for being grey, she fears making her friends miserable with her own misery.

[somekindofsentience]

tomorrow won't come for those without, or exploring disconnection in the procession of mental illness and trauma

SPOILER? WARNING: This analysis assumes you have played the game's noise ending at least once. I'll provide screengrabs of things where I can. I do believe it's a masterpiece of a game, and would highly recommend it.

CONTENT WARNING: Discussions and allusions to suicide, severe mental illness, grief and religious trauma/criticisms of religion.

Tomorrow won't come for those without (TWC for short) is really... confusing. To the extent where I've got a notebook with pasted cut-outs of dialogue and imagery simply to try and... understand it.

As with much of the things I write about, I don't think it's designed to be understood - etherane's work often revolves around very personal and complex depictions of mental illness, as is evident from the hello charlotte series, so this is to be expected.

I want to discuss Rem, celestials and the Dithyrambs in this, saving conversations of Mari and the Choir for when I better understand it.

Rem is not human, he's a celestial - this is revealed in the noise ending, where he melts into his true form. We can also determine what type of celestial Rem is, from the way his form manifests.

Domain: Shadow; The Eldest. Distorts continuity, converting affected areas into liminal spaces.

Now, at first, I spent much of my time trying to associate these cards (and as such, the Celestials) to specific mental illnesses, but I realised it didn't work. While 'Domain: Post-Truth' (Card Type 3) could be associated with PTSD and 'Domain: Thighs' (Card Type 12) could be associated with body dysmorphia, many cards do not fit a specific mental illness, and much of them instead reference dissociation or other specific symptoms. It's somewhat implied Mari had the celestial present in Card Type 12.

It makes sense for a different universe to identify mental illness in a different way, considering there's little evidence that the characters have information on "pre-humanity". Instead of our current system surrounding mental health, the Choir demonises Celestials, and attempts to 'purify' them.

One particular line during the noise ending stands out to me.

"Tell me, how do I stop the noise in my head?"

Ori is not, by any means, a stable character. That's not to say Rem is stable, but Ori is somewhat less rational, losing his mind over the Choir and his Rosary. He devotedly follows the Conductor up until the noise ending, where he loses his grip on purity and reality, wanting to stay in the 'Dark' and '...play in the forest', rejecting the suppression of creativity by the Conductor.

The Dithyrambs is the noise in Ori's head - somewhat implied to be caused by the celestial. When Ori first wakes up, the Rosary insists that he must "...find the source of the Dithyrambs," perhaps implying that the Rosary is corrupt in the same way Ori and the Choir are, although it does not state to destroy the source. This noise causes Ori a lot of pain.

Alright. That is my discussion of the actual evidence present in the game. The next section is going to be a lot of personal speculation, on what I feel the game is representing.

I compare the relationship between Ori and Rem to that of Charles and Scarlett in Hello Charlotte 3, although it is framed differently. Instead of Rem being portrayed as horrific and irrational, Rem is scared, small; humanised, distrustful.

I believe that Scarlett Eyler and Rem represent fundamentally the same thing - intrusive thoughts, anxiety and OCD. Unlike Scarlett, who is fixated on tormenting Charles, Rem's representation of this manifests toward himself, and his desire to be caged for safety.

Fundamentally, OCD is a disorder surrounding fear. As much as it feels like your brain just, absolutely fucking hates you, it's as scared as you are. In a similar way, Rem is terrified of the liminal hotel that he and Ori reside in, and he's terrified of the outside world. He responds by shutting himself away - rather than Ori's desire to reach the end of the veils, Rem begins the game locked in a bathroom, and must be coaxed out.

Rem is incredibly "human" for a nonhuman being. Humanisation of intrusive thoughts is an interesting concept, especially considering the demon Scarlett Eyler was in HC3. Rem is far more disconnected from Ori, far more skeptical of the world around them. Rem isn't there to punish, but more to question and doubt, contrasting with Ori's inherently trusting nature.

Hmm. I feel like I haven't properly explained it, but I hope it somewhat makes sense.

Despite that, this is just my own interpretation of it, and I don't feel it really aligns with the game, necessarily. It's just me. lol.

song i listened to while writing:

I enjoy playing TWC with the BGM turned down and this song playing. It makes me feel pure, like my regrets can be washed off. I suppose that's not the point of TWC LMAOO.

[lullabyalikpoptarot]

Lee Heeseung's Perspective Reading

Heeseung's energy was the strongest for me to do this, so I will start with him. I wasn't sure how I will go about this, so I just asked what he wants to share, and see what cards come flying out and channel through that. So, this is what I got.

The whole point of me sharing these readings is to give you guys an understanding of who they are on a deeper level, rather than facade idol image they have to portray. And I know people who read this want to understand as well. At the end of the day, they are complex humans just like the rest of us. I would also like to say I do not know him personally, so there are no facts here, just some cards and my ability to channel messages through it, so here we go.

Before I even started pulling cards. I got that he was a precocious and wayward child. Pretty much mature for his age, and a bit independent, he kind of went his own way. I am also being pulled to the Mariah Carey Song, with the lyrics, I was a wayward child with the weight of the world that I kept deep inside. So, he seems like he is the type to keep things inside, rather than share it with others. He may have felt the need to do, since childhood. He tended to deviate from the norm. He may have tried to fit in, due to his Libra nature, but it wasn't easy. I guess he felt like he wasn't like the others, didn't really think how others felt. There is this need for him to rise to the top, to take action on the things he wants. He is a Capricorn Mars, so this makes sense. If there is something he wants to do, he will do it and excel.

There is the openness to learn for him, to always grow. He doesn't really stick to things, I heard stick to the standards. I don't see him as a book reader, but he learns from his experiences and observing others. There could be a topic of interest he hyper-fixates on and tries to learn everything about it. He is very observant and vigilant. He doesn't seem like the type that will let anybody get close to him. He keeps his distance from outsiders, but if you are someone, he is very close to, he can get a bit clingy and attached to that person. There is like a need to be around them, to latch on to them. It is like this person was able to see the real him, that many don't get to see, so it is hard for him to let go of people who become close, this seems definitely pertaining to his love interests. There could be fear of letting others in, due to rejection, so when you are in, it is hard for him to let go.

Although, he can be quite awkward, he is very confident in who is today and what he has created. He sees the beauty within himself. He respects the person he has become today. He seems to honor his past. He was an awkward child, there were some vulnerabilities he had as a child, but he has grown into a stronger person. His past self-defines who he is today, and he tries to learn and grow from it. Move on from the mistakes of the past. He once again wants to stress that he is very persistent when it comes to his goals. If there is something he wants. He goes after it, this in terms of goals, his career and romantic partnerships. He stays the course no matter what. Nothing will keep him off track.

There is a constant loop he goes through, a struggle to end things. This desire to obtain things to fill him up, but it just ends up creating a cycle of suffering. There is this need for validation, wanting what others have, but he may be careful what he wishes for. It puts him in an endless loop. There is a sense of falling into temptation as well. There is a pull to gain something he does not have, rather than accept what he doesn't have, and embrace what he has. He latches to what he doesn't have, which leads to suffering. He may feel caged in and has to fit a certain persona. He may want to break out of that. I feel like he tries a lot to fit in, even though he is quite different from the norm. This could be a struggle for him. It is like he is molded to fit a pretty image. He seems conflicted with who he really is, not really sure who he is and may look to others to know who he is, which in itself is a problem, because one can only know themselves by looking within, rather than external validation. I like to mention, a lot of the cards that I am getting all have odd numbers, this gives me someone odd/different. I am just making that correlation. I feel he wants to stress that he feels he doesn't really fit in with most people.

I knew these two sections would be the most difficult to do, as these explore his more shadow side. But I was pulled to these decks, so had to use them. It does seem he is sending me to a bit of his childhood, which I did not want to go, but I go where the messages take me. There is an ancestral pattern here. I get the message, children should be seen, not heard, so that may be significant to him. He could have been silenced as a child or shown not to share things or speak up. He may need to explore his past/childhood to gain awareness as to why he is the way he is today. There is some healing here that may need to be done. It is like who he really was had been silenced. I just see the card that I pulled with the keyword, temper your criticism, it is like he doesn't have a right to have an opinion or criticize anything. This could be from early childhood, or this could also be now, since idols are silenced. This could be bothersome to him. He does have a strong intuitive sense and may feel things intuitively. Now society teaches up to ignore woo woo stuff like that, so he may have been taught to ignore it. But this card with the keyword, follow your intuition is telling him his gut instincts are correct and to follow it more. I feel there is this urge to show his more authentic self, because of all the cards I am getting. And I keep getting that phrase from that song I mention, I was a wayward child, over and over again when thinking of him and this reading, like he wants to stress that.

It is a time for him to question what he believes, does this align with him or not, if it doesn't fit into who he is or where he wants to go, it must go or be replaced. I hear, lift the veil of unconscious, what this could mean is he should bring things to light and awareness that he has hidden and kept in the dark. And another card here showing he needs to show he authentic self. His personal life journey may be too be seen for who he is, rather than a filtered image of himself. This card also indicates he could be a lightworker here to help uplift humanity in some sense, or just the people around him, but he can't do that as his filtered self. Now if you don't believe that, or not into spirituality, ignore this part. That is what the card is showing me.

He is very observant, smart, analytical. He can be quick on his feet when need be. On one end he can be very chill, on the other all the place and sporadic. It does seem his mind takes him places or pulls him towards certain directions. There is a vast knowledge he does have. Although, he has a lot of knowledge. He is always looking to learn more. I feel we as fans may already know this though, but hey, he wants to share it. I can get a sense he may be more on the spiritual side, there is a connection to source, legit he may have psychic abilities, not sure he is aware of it and understand it. This is taking me to a weird place, but whatever saying it. He may get messages from the universe, or be able to tap into the collective consciousness, he may struggle to handle these messages and not understand it, and may lose sleep over it. I just get there are a lot of messages that come through to him at night, or when he is alone, but he doesn't understand what his thought and messages from the collective consciousness. He may worry and stress a lot about things too. Yeah, took me to a weird place, but I go with how I feel and messages I get, so yeah. I am also being pointed to all the black crows on the cards here, which signifies intelligence and spiritual guidance, so he may get a lot of guidance and be a very intellectual individual, which we as fans pretty know about the intelligence part. They also signify mystery, so there is a mysterious tone to him as well. He doesn't show all his cards to anyone.

He definitely takes a lot of time to himself, to gather himself and recharge. He may feel comfortable in his own little bubble. This is his time to shine. To be able to be himself. He needs this time to gather his energy. This may be the time he feels truly free to be himself. Overall, he knows his value and worth, so although he can be awkward and a bit odd. He doesn't lack any confidence in who he is. He is someone who nurtures and cares for himself. Who is abundant in his own right. He seems to be very connected to Mother Earth. He doesn't seem to be the type that wants to gain an excess of material wealth. He is happy with what he has and what he has achieved. He loves his independence and to stand on his own.

Okay, that was long, but I think I got everything he wanted to share. I am glad he ended on a good note and made sure to mention he is good with himself. Because the middle part was a bit heavy and sad for me.