#i played it over and over and over and i am 100% certain it's the tardis

[homestuckreplay]

A Hole in the ACE: Anderson, Caveney, Egbert

[This is a deep dive into the pages of Harry Anderson: Wise Guy by Mike Caveney, seen on Homestuck pages 629-630, and its role in the story. About 2.5k words, somehow. A transcript of these pages can be found here.]

=> Read book. Be the wise guy.

Harry Anderson, born in 1952, was a real magician and comedian who achieved mainstream television success in the 1980s and 90s with starring roles in sitcoms and appearances on Saturday Night Live. A street magician since his youth, he continued to tour and perform magic shows well into the 2000s, and opened both a magic shop and a nightclub in New Orleans with his second wife. Wise Guy is the name of a one-man show he presented in his own nightclub beginning in 2005, although he may have used the phrase earlier.

Mike Caveney, born in 1950, has similarly been a magic enthusiast since childhood. As well as performing, he has written over 50 books about magic and its history, including Magic, 1400s-1950s (2009) and of course Harry Anderson: Wise Guy (1993). This is a real book documenting the secrets behind Anderson’s most famous tricks, interspersed with personal anecdotes. John Egbert is lucky to own this – it’s currently out of print, and secondhand editions sell for over $100.

In my attempts to find an online copy of Wise Guy, I found a PDF that billed itself as the book’s introduction, but quickly devolved into a plot summary of Stephen King’s IT. While clearly not the actual introduction, I later learned that Anderson played Richie Tozier in the 1990 television adaptation of IT, which at least explains the connection.

Unfortunately, very little of Wise Guy’s text is available online. One excerpt survives, and accompanies several online publishers’ listings for the book – for example, here. This excerpt describes Harry’s trick ‘The Finger Chopper,’ with his early-career assistant who happened to be missing half a finger. I am almost certain that Andrew Hussie doesn’t own a copy of this book, but that they found this real excerpt, and used it to write their own entirely fake pages for Homestuck.

Some specific phrases appear in both the real excerpt and the Homestuck pages: ‘Here is a perfect example of how Harry could…’ ‘the close up room at the Magic Castle’ and even the full paragraph ‘[he] had one of those little wooden finger choppers that Micky Hades used to sell. The kind where the blade could be removed and clearly shown. It was a very convincing little guillotine that did not look like a novelty store toy. Harry would get a guy to examine the chopper and then cut a cigarette in half. Then he held the guy’s hand up and told this silly story.’

The Magic Castle is a famous performance venue that Anderson really performed at, however it's located in Los Angeles, not New Orleans as the Homestuck version suggests.. Micky Hades is another magician 25 years Anderson and Caveney’s senior, best known for writing and publishing books and magazines on magic. An unverified primary source says that he invented the Finger Chopper while working deep underground in the freezing cold Yellowknife gold mines, which is definitely cool if true.

The rest of what's in Homestuck is invented. In Caveney’s book, Anderson’s trick is successful, no audience members are harmed, and Anderson is presented as a charismatic entertainer in control of the crowd. In Hussie’s version, Anderson’s trick goes horribly wrong, and is presented as overconfident, unpleasant, and ridiculous. There’s a flip back and forth from praising and criticizing Anderson, painting he and Caveney as jilted former business partners who maintain professional respect, or toxic ex-lovers who can’t let each other go.

Hussie also refers to a ‘two foot, six inch height differential’ between Anderson and Caveney, with Anderson implied as the shorter party. Anderson was 6’4”, and while I can’t find a source for Caveney’s height, I think it would have been well documented if Caveney was almost nine feet tall.

Hussie’s version states that once Anderson’s finger chopper trick was successful, he achieved ‘fame, fortune and the crowning position in the television judiciary.’ This refers to his starring role on the sitcom Night Court as Judge Harold T. ‘Harry’ Stone, a 34-year-old night court judge appointed to the bench when none of the other applicants were available to answer their phones. Harry’s methods in the show are unorthodox, including flipping a (secretly double-headed) coin to decide if a woman should go to jail, suggesting in 1984 that the three members of a love triangle try polyamory, and giving a man dressed as Santa information from two teenagers’ government records so that ‘Santa’ could trick the teens into believing in him.

I’d never heard of this show before reading Homestuck, and neither has Rose Lalonde, but John mentions it on p.636. The show appears fairly well received during its original run, winning eight Primetime Emmys, including four consecutive Best Supporting Actor wins for John Larroquette (who withdrew his name from the ballot for future years). I watched a few episodes before making this post and thought the pilot was really great, with subsequent episodes either not living up to its promises, or already feeling stale. It’s over-acted in a way that makes it feel older than its airdate, and definitely tracks as a cheesy thing for John Egbert to enjoy.

The other name mentioned in Hussie’s edition – Blind Willie ‘Buttermilk’ Stubbs – is not a real person, but a legendary jazz musician from Problem Sleuth. This is most likely a reference to the real 1900s blues musician Blind Willie McTell, or the Bob Dylan song of the same name. However, there’s an outside chance it could be another Stephen King connection, as he has a 1994 novella named Blind Willie.

The second trick described in Homestuck, ‘A Hole in the Ace,’ doesn’t appear to be a real Anderson trick. It’s not on this list of the book’s chapter titles, and while I have found evidence of Anderson tearing up cards as part of tricks, I couldn’t find anything about him punching holes. In general this second page is more artistic license and less connected to Anderson’s real life than the first. It seems like this hole-punch trick was invented by Hussie purely to give John the inspiration to advance his alchemy. Narratively this works really well, because John’s not somebody who would come to these ideas by careful thought, but it’s also not satisfying to have Rose always give him the answers.

We’ve seen another Harry Anderson property in John’s room – the fictional video game Call My Bluff, seen on the CD rack (p.31). Although Anderson never had a show named Call My Bluff, in 2000 he hosted an unsold pilot episode of What’s My Line? for Mark Goodson and Bill Todman. Goodson & Todman were famous for creating a variety of TV game shows, including 1965’s Call My Bluff. Is this a coincidence? I genuinely couldn’t tell you.

I really love what Hussie has done with this book. I’d say this qualifies as a transformative work – taking the real text and premise of Wise Guy and mixing it with established MSPA lore, mimicking Caveney’s original writing style while using it to paint a far more absurd picture of Anderson, using it to advance the plot while still feeling like this book could really exist, at least in the Homestuck universe. It shows how much work gets put into Homestuck, even while some plot elements (possibly even John’s decision to read the book) are decided by readers.

=> Read Colonel Sassacre’s text.

Wise Guy is only one of John’s two favorite books. The other of course is Colonel Sassacre’s Daunting Text of Magical Frivolity and Practical Japery, and we’ve now seen inside both. They’re fairly different overall. Sassacre’s is a lot more overwrought and soaked in Southern stereotypes, written like it’s trying to squeeze in as many old-timey Southern words as possible, while Wise Guy focuses on telling a story and creating a character. Both texts lean into some grosser imagery than Homestuck usually goes for, with Sassacre’s describing ‘wriggling regency of rubber bugs, plastic parasites, squirming serpents, pliable pests…’ and Wise Guy mentioning ‘a bloody sausage sized piece of a guy’.

The most direct link between the texts is the uncommon phrase ‘listless octoroon,’ which appears in both. Used in the mid to late 1800s, an octoroon was a social and sometimes legal word for somebody who was one-eighth Black. It’s an offensive term that definitely should not be used to describe a real person, and I don’t think it’s funny in fiction either. It reads like another example of ‘post-racial humor’ where Hussie, a white author, uses Blackness as a joke due to a mistaken belief that racism is a thing of the past. This isn’t the first time this specific brand of humor has appeared in Homestuck, and it’s worrying that it’s becoming a pattern.

Sassacre’s, the ‘family tome of humor’ passed down through Egbert generations, focuses on pranking friends and family members, taking those around you by surprise. Wise Guy, which appears to be John’s own interest, is about performing tricks for an audience – both descriptions of the trick and of the mannerisms surrounding the trick that make it successful, leaning into the draw of the professional magician and the cautionary tale of their failures.

Colonel Sassacre’s relevance to Homestuck has so far been as a physical object. It’s what killed Nanna in her human life, it’s been a heavy item in John’s sylladex that he’s used to set off smoke pellets and slay an imp, it was teased as a Tier 2 sprite prototype, and it was found hidden inside Dad’s safe. In contrast, Wise Guy’s relevance has been about the text inside the book, and John’s interpretation of that text.

Which of course makes me wonder about other books we’ve seen in the story. Data Structures for Assholes, the second book of John’s that’s about A-holes, is clearly written to be so over-the-top it becomes funny (like Sassacre’s) but is used for the same purpose as Wise Guy, teaching John a new game mechanic that helps him advance his own story. Other books we’ve seen but haven’t opened are The Fatherly Gent’s Shaving Almanac, found in Dad’s safe, and the writing journals Rose keeps under her bed. Finally, we’ve seen inside Rose’s Grimoire for Summoning the Zoologically Dubious, however as this book is written in the eldritch tongue, it’s hard to offer meaningful insights.

All of these books have been highlighted when they appear, and are more than just a spine among a bookshelf collection. My guess is that all of these will become relevant to the story at some point, whether as objects or as texts.

=> John: Punch card.

Wise Guy first appeared on p.8 of Homestuck, as part of the contents of John’s MAGIC CHEST (now and forever on the roof), which also contains a picture of Anderson stuck to the inside of the lid. John being an ‘aspiring AMATEUR MAGICIAN’ came up even earlier, on p.4. John claims to love this book, which is ‘one of [his] favorite books of all time’ (p.123), but in truth he only likes specific aspects of the book. In real life, Caveney had great respect for Anderson and wrote his book as a tribute, but this isn’t true in Homestuck – Caveney’s ‘ambivalent attitude toward your favorite magician in these anecdotes always struck [John] as a little weird,’ suggesting that John doesn’t enjoy criticism of his heroes and doesn’t want to engage with the more complex and emotional parts of the text.

John ‘mostly like[s] to look at the diagrams for all the cool tricks.’ Given his aspirations, it makes sense that he’d use it as a manual similar to Sassacre’s instead of a biography – but he’s not reading the book as the author intended. If he did, he’d like it less. In most webcomics, any text is contained within the panels themselves, and any blocks of text below are commentary that isn’t necessary to enjoy the joke or story. MSPA is fairly unique in having narrative text that’s story critical, and I wonder if there are some Homestuck readers who just look at the pictures and think the text is ‘weird’ or extraneous. John’s method of reading Wise Guy fits with the fact that he flits from one thing to another, giving up quickly when something is too much effort, whether that’s hole punching through several cards at once or reading stories that are critical of his hero and hard to understand – but it could also be meta-commentary on readers of Homestuck.

John’s relationship to magic, both past and present, is something I’d really like to see explored in more depth. Now that he has unlimited captchalogue cards and engages with them as physical objects, the possibilities for card tricks are off the charts – and the reasons John likes magic aren't yet known. A magician is a showman, somebody who surprises and delights an audience, but can only do this by concealing much of what they’re doing. A magician has to be a master of their craft and in control of the situation both socially and technically. Magic is believed to be among the oldest performing arts, and while magicians are often thought to be secretive about their tricks, Wise Guy is just one of a huge number of books containing detailed instructions for magic.

John's not usually the character we'd expect to want an air of mystery around himself, but he often tries to hide his emotions, with various degrees of success. He also likes the idea of coding, which is a type of magic - producing an effect (a website) while concealing the methods (lines of code) that went into it. There's not much he's good at yet, but he has the manual dexterity to play piano well, which could translate into sleight of hand tricks. I can see why, as someone who struggles with basically everything, John likes the idea of having a high degree of mastery over something and of making it look effortless. I also see how someone who feels like they're always performing their role in the world, instead of actually embodying it, would gravitate towards being another kind of performer. However, that's just some initial instincts, and as I keep reading and re-reading I'll be on the lookout for more connections between John and stage magic.

Additionally, John now has access to real and powerful magic via alchemy. This is magic that can’t fully be explained by sleight of hand and diagrams in a book, and it’s magic that can provide a shortcut to achieving goals, conjuration instead of illusion. Now that John has this power, will he become disillusioned with the artifice of practical magic, or will he lean into it even harder? Will there continue to be connections between alchemy and the tricks John already knows? Instead of always putting that bunny back in the box, will he start pulling that bunny out of the hat?

Finally, it is surprising that John’s never talked to Rose about Harry Anderson before. Given the depths of his interest, I’d expect it to have come up, but Rose is clueless. When explaining who he is, John says ‘EB: he's awesome EB: that's really all there is to say on the matter!’ which directly calls back to what Dave has said about puppets on p.537. In Dave’s case, he’s trying to convince himself he thinks this, but it’s clear he actually doesn’t. Is it possible that deep down, John actually doesn’t like Harry Anderson? Is magic too close to Egbert family traditions of clowning for John to really feel good exploring it? Is John’s greatest trick of all convincing us that he loves magic?

[skittidyne]

things i SINCERELY want from the p3p/p4g ports:

a resurgence in souyo fics

(any fandom acknowledgment of the true ot3 of souyorise)

ONLY funny takes of ppl realizing how gay p4g is, no discourse allowed

more heartrending ryoji art

hiimdaisy/ggdg comics coming back for ppl to realize their roots

people playing the games for the first time

people blaming me while playing for the first time

[andragoras-in-vanity]

okay see heres the think i dont think i actually like being choked (i mean like...i do, but not all the time) im pretty sure if it was during sex id rather just let someone hold my neck, just squeeze it a bit, just enough to remind me they could snap it if they wanted to

[fingertipsmp3]

Playing a game called ‘how long can I put off talking about my various mental problems with a medical professional’. It’s going badly. I recommend no one play this game, 0/5 stars

[adlamu]

hearing the tardis' materialisation/dematerialisation (vworp vworp) noise at the tail end of the shotgun mix of prey (recoil):

[taintandviolent]

Taco Tuesday ; Gambit x reader!

summary: You live across the hall from Wade Wilson, and one Tuesday, he invites you over for tacos. 🌮 And that’s where you meet him. The Gambit. Post-Void, everyone got out alive and everything is fine. [PART TWO HERE]

word count & w a r n i n g s: 5.4K | smut with very little plot, alcohol mention, slightly drunk (but very consenting) reader, French and typing out accents/dialects, pet names (cher, mon ami, mon coeur, etc.), dirty talk (cos he is a dirty talker, don't argue with me on this), fingering, unprotected sex, p in v, no use of y/n.

a/n: this is based 100% on Deadpool and Wolverine Gambit / Channing's version of Gambit!! sorry for the lack of plot here, he deserves better than this filth, but I am down ASTRONOMICALLY and I needed to get it out. I spent so much time trying to get his accent right, I hope it comes off the way I wanted it to... anyway! i'm not certain if anyone will read this, but if you do - thank you a million times over! as always, requests are open! - banner by @/strangergraphics, and Remy gif by @scintie!

↓ full fic under cut! ↓ / ao3 link here! / I don’t have a taglist anymore, but please turn on post notifications if you’d like to be notified of future fics!

He’s handsome. Like really handsome. 

Your stomach does a flip as he smiles at you, reaching for the bottle of Jack between your legs — wait. Pause. Rewind. How’d we get here?

Living in the same apartment complex as Wade Wilson was a trip. Even more of a trip was living across the hall from him. The things you heard coming from that apartment... nobody would believe you. So, you never told anyone. 

He’s kind. Albeit, zany but kind. Your interactions have been cordial and nauseatingly neighbourly. But on one regular ol' Tuesday afternoon, Wade invited you inside. He said something about having a party later that night, making tacos and being neighborly. He assured you that it wasn't a sex party... which to be honest, you weren't worried about until he'd mentioned it. Against your better judgement though, you'd agreed, and said you'd bring some liquor.

So, that evening, you opened your door, one bottle of Jack tucked under your arm, and another in your left hand. You shut the door to your apartment and walked straight across to your neighbour’s door. Your fist had rapped against the wood only twice before the door swung open, revealing Wade, and a very… strange and very bald looking dog in his arms. 

"Oh, what the fuck?" You asked, looking down at the creature. "I didn't know you had a dog…?"

Wade’s voice rose an octave or two, in a cutesy tone. "She's a new addition, yes she is!" 

"I brought... well, this. Sorry, it was all I had in my cabinets and to be perfectly honest, I wasn't about to go out and spend money on this. I like… barely know you."

"HA! Brutal honesty. We love to hear it." 

Wade took hold of your shoulder and yanked you inside, harsh enough that you made a small sound as he did. He shut the door with his foot, and towed you towards the table, where everyone was gathered. And that was when you first saw him. He wore all black, save for a tan trench coat with a high collar. He lounged casually on one of the dining chairs, playing with a deck of cards. They fluttered from hand to hand effortlessly, and for a moment, you were stuck, mesmerized by the dexterous way he handled them. You weren't sure what was pulling you towards him harder, your heart or your cunt, but you felt an undeniable draw to the man.

Wade's arm wound itself around your shoulders, guiding you around the room to meet each of his friends. At that point, living next to him, mutants were a forced transition. You were used to the concept of them, so meeting a giant silver man, for example, wasn't unexpected. Vanessa was the most normal - you were pretty sure she was human.

Finally, he got to the one you really wanted to meet. The one that your eyes had been darting back and forth to the entire time, the one that when he briefly met your gaze, your heart thudded in your chest. 

"And this... handsome slice of man, is the Gambit. Good luck understanding him, he's a real mouthful."

I’ll bet he is, you thought. 

He pocketed the cards in a quick motion and stood up from his chair. With a syrup-smooth chuckle, the man laughed and said: "You can call me Remy." He did in fact have a thick Cajun accent and spoke quickly – almost too quickly. You blinked once, focusing hard on his words.

"Remy," you repeated finally, before saying your own name and extending your hand. He took it gently and as he shook it, your palm tingled with what felt like electricity.

"Enchanté." (Enchanted)

Your cheeks burned, and you knew they were flushing. You couldn’t control it. "De même..." (Likewise.)

His brows lifted, surprised. "You speak French, mon ami?" (my friend) 

"Heh, uhh... comme un enfant." (Like a child) You chuckled low, averting your eyes for a millisecond. "I took a few years of it in high school and again in college. I’m by no means an expert."

Wade's eyes were wide, flicking back and forth between the two of you. There was obvious chemistry there, and a knowing smirk drew itself across his lips. Abruptly, he yanked one of the bottles of Jack Daniels from beneath your arm, before leaning against the nearby wall.

"Oh, fuck me. You understand Gumbo here? That’s cute. No idea what either of you are saying though, someone forgot to turn the subtitles on. I'll leave you two to get acquainted." Whatever that meant. You scoffed, but turned your attention back to Gambit, looking at him.

“Sit a while, cher.” 

You happily took the chair that he pulled out, not caring that it was facing away from the others, and plopped down onto it, situating the other bottle of Jack between your legs. You gripped the neck of the bottle tightly, and looked at him with a timid, but a come hither sort of smile. After a moment, you twisted the cap off, and flicked it off somewhere to your right. Wade would find it later, or he wouldn’t. You didn’t really care. 

You two talked for hours, most of which consisted of him telling you about the Void, and how hard it had been, while you pretended to comprehend it. Between words, you passed the bottle back and forth, taking mouthfuls, and inadvertently swapping spit as you did. The thought occurred to you about halfway through the conversation, and your stomach tightened. You shook your head lightly and clenched your thighs together, trying to stave off the arousal that was bubbling in your core. 

There we go. That’s better.

He’s handsome. Like really handsome. 

Your stomach does a flip as he smiles at you, reaching for the bottle, which was still situated between your legs. His fingertips just graze the side of your thigh and his eyes flit to yours. He holds his smile, waiting for you to either protest or move the moment forward, and all you can do is gawk, because your cunt starts throbbing. 

As the evening wears on, though cautious, it’s obvious that Remy feels the same pull that you do. He remains cool on the outside, but internally, he was battling the magnetic tugging he felt from you. He couldn't shake it. He’d compliment you, you’d compliment him. At one point, in between sips, you casually drop that you think his accent is hot and he whispers something underneath his breath, something you don’t understand. Before either of you realized it, you had started to lean closer to each other, your faces inches apart, and you felt the warm rush of his breath over your cheeks.

It was as if you both realized it simultaneously. You rear back, an embarrassed expression plastered on your face. Remy clears his throat. His attraction to you was stifling; something that he rarely felt. He was powerless in his want for you, the draw you had was irresistible.

"Maybe we should... uh..." You murmur, looking deep into his eyes. In a room full of people that were starting to fade away the closer you two got to each other, you were thankful you were still sober enough to suggest a different setting. Any longer and you surely would’ve just straddled him and gone to town. 

Remy moves first. 

"We gon' take a walk." He announces to the others, getting to his feet. 

The conversation stops abruptly, silence hanging heavy. You straighten up, trying your best to avert your gaze, but you still see everyone’s reaction. Someone clears their throat and your heart sinks, feeling like you might die on the spot. The one that had been introduced as Logan, gruff looking dude, raises a single brow at you. In true Wade-character, he ugly cackles, shattering the moment. Your shoulders sink, embarrassed, as you head towards the door, doing the proverbial walk of shame. 

Remy meets you at the door and pulls it open, holding it for you. You duck underneath his arm, looking sheepish and as you exit into the hallway, you think you heard Wade mutter something about a fanfiction but Remy yanks the door shut before you can react. 

“You want to… get some air? Or um… I have… well, no I had liquor, but I brought it to Wade’s.” 

He smiles, and looks down at the floor, before lifting his eyes back to you. “We can do whatever you want, chère. You ain’t gon’ catch me complainin’ eitha’ way.”

You chew on the inside of your cheek, considering the options. Your heart was hammering in your chest at the prospect of just being near him without the others around. You two had been close to kissing in Wade’s living room, and now, you had the opportunity to continue that… or take a walk. The latter seemed less appealing. 

“Y’know what, why don’t we… just…” You take a few steps backwards, jerking your head towards your front door. Concerningly, you had forgotten to lock your door. However, it allows you to open it quickly, and walk backwards into the apartment. Gambit follows you in, his attention never leaving you. 

"You sure 'bout dis, mon ami? I can walk away righ' now." His words land heavy, a promise behind them. He was a gentleman at heart, you could tell. Fortunately for him, you were very sure, and wanted every inch of him.

Mon ami - something that in the few hours you'd spent with him, he'd called you often. Among other things. Mon ami meant my friend, but you knew you two weren't just friends. You saw how he acted with others, and the comments he made. Sure, he had a quick wit and a mouth on him, but the flirting... god, the flirting.

He stands in the doorway, his shoulders filling the frame. Silently, you nod and take another step back, giving him some room to enter. He takes one wide step towards you, leaving the door open behind him. He reaches for your hip, and you immediately take to playing with his large hands. Delicately, you pay attention to each long digit, trailing your middle finger along the knuckles, and up and down the length of them. You dip into the spaces between, your fingers barely ghosting over the webbing. 

Was that a shiver? Your eyes flit to his, searching them for a hint.

"You sure do know how to make a man feel good." 

Your heart flutters at his words. With his accent, even the simplest of things sounded charming. At least to you. You felt that he could ask if you wanted coffee or how the weather was and you'd be twirling your hair around your finger like a desperate schoolgirl. Embarrassing. 

You’re about to respond and defend yourself by saying that all you had done was play with his hands, which was hardly considered foreplay, but his fingers come up underneath your chin, gently closing your mouth with a dull click of your teeth. He tilts it upwards to an angle where he could easily kiss you. And kiss you, he does. 

It was the kind of kiss that makes your knees buckle, sends a violent shudder from the nape of your neck down to the base of your spine. It’s the kind of kiss that needs to come with a warning; Danger: Will Result In Sex. As his lips move against yours, you feel the urgency of his need, of his want, and hum into his lips. Remy takes that as a green light and deepens the kiss, moving his body so that it’s pressing flush against yours. The action leaves you immediately breathless and in response, you break the kiss, tucking your chin to your chest. Your hand finds his torso, pressing hard against the muscles underneath the shirt.  

"Ah, don't you be actin' shy now. You been teasin' me for hours."

“I have not!”

“You think I didn’t notice all ‘dem touches an’ looks you were givin’ me? I may ‘ave been born at night, but I wasn’t born last night.” 

He had you there. You couldn’t deny that, at all. Even if you’d wanted to. Which, part of you did. Part of you was very nervous, standing before this very handsome man, with the taste of his mouth still lingering on your lips but another part of you, the louder one, was delighted that he’d noticed. Furthermore, that he’d enjoyed them enough to come to your room.

You lift your hand behind him, pushing the door shut with a harsh shove. With a twist of your fingers, you activate the locking mechanism, sliding the deadbolt into place. Gambit chuckles, grinning down at you. Your heart leaps into your throat, but you press on bravely, lacing your arms around his neck. They trail down the front of his body, feeling the muscles as they twitch with each ragged breath. 

He quirks a brow as if to ask, 'Oh, really?' You simply smirk back at him. The contact is electric, and you find yourself resisting the urge to grind against him immediately. Instead, you focus on his hands again, bringing one of them up to your lips. You press a delicate kiss on the pads, before slipping one into your mouth and sucking gently. Remy makes a deep, husky sound in his throat, and brings his other hand to your hip, where he pulls you roughly against him.

For a man that uses his hands often, the sensations are high. The way your mouth envelops his finger, your tongue writhing around the digit had his jaw clenching, muscles fluttering on the side of his face. When you draw his finger into the confines of your throat, deep-throating it, his eyes roll back in pleasure. He pulls his hand back, shaking it off as if the inside of your mouth was hot to the touch.

"Woo, you nasty, huh? Nevah’ woulda' guessed... you been actin' like a good little girl 'uhround me." 

After that, it all happened very quickly. Gambit takes a step and connects his lips with yours again, pushing them into you in an act of desperation. Without breaking the kiss, he shrugs out of his jacket, tossing it onto a nearby surface. You push against him until his back hits the door with a heavy thud, definitely loud enough for any innocent bystanders to hear. Your fingers undo the button of your jeans, breaking the kiss for only a second to slide them down your legs. 

Once you return to his waiting mouth, the kiss deepens and the coil in your stomach winds tighter, claiming your body in a deep, fiery arousal. His big arms wrap around you, enveloping you in a heated embrace. Just for a moment, it’s tender — but shortly after, his hands drop to your ass, fingers slipping underneath the band of fabric to take greedy fistfuls of each cheek. 

Your hands find their way to his shoulders, gripping the roundness of them to use as leverage. Letting out a little hum, you sweep your hips across his groin, pressing tightly against him. His eyes drift shut, head bumping against the door as he leaned it back, a low growl coming from his throat. Keeping at it, you grind your hips against him, feeling the outline of his length as it hardens.

“You be drivin’ Remy crazy, grindin’ on me like ‘dat.”

“That’s the intention….” You stand on your tiptoes to pepper kisses on his lips, your warm breath fanning over his face, smelling faintly of Jack Daniels. Remy trails his hand carefully up your rib cage until he gets to the side of your breast, where he quickly slips around to the front, his large hand cupping the fullness of it outside of your shirt. Your reaction is visceral; your breath hisses through your teeth at the sensitivity. 

Remy laughs again and with his free hand, pulls your hips back to his. Swiftly, he spins you around, pinning you between his body and the hard surface of the door. He presses himself tightly against you, shifting slightly so that his thigh was between your legs. The sensation of something that close to your core is dangerous and brings a weak, mewling whimper from your mouth.

“We gon’ have ourselves some fun.” His voice is low, tinged with a new sort of lustful tone that you hadn't heard before. Your mind is spinning, growing dizzy with lust. The alcohol had certainly helped your nerves, you were never usually this brazen. Your core burns with desire at his words, silently begging for everything he was about to give you. His lips hover just over yours; you can feel his breath on your skin and the heat that radiates off his body as it presses into yours.

"Oh my god," you whisper into his mouth. "Fuck..."

His teeth nip at your bottom lip before he captures your mouth in a heated, passionate kiss again. His tongue explores the inside, swirling along your own wet muscle. With every passing second, your heart beats faster and his hands grip your hips tighter, thumbs massaging the flesh above your jeans.

“Wrap ‘dem legs around me, mon coeur.” (My heart) Remy’s voice is husky with want; amongst his playful, lilted tone, a possessiveness lingered, and the thought sends a chill down your spine. He nods once, encouraging you into his waiting arms. You jump up, and he catches you effortlessly, gripping your thighs tight and hoisting you up into his grasp. Feeling secure, you wrap both legs around his waist and encircle his neck with your arms. Your gaze meets his and you can see the wanton need mirrored in his own eyes, darkened with desire.

Remy's smirk is dripping with confidence. Your body's response to him was causing his ego to swell within his chest, and his cock to swell within his pants. He leans in close, his lips against your ear, nipping at the lobe softly before pulling back slightly. In one fluid movement, his hips buck up against your center, teasing you over the layers of clothing. You let out a moan, throwing your head back against the door.

He thrusts up into you again, chuckling low against your ear. The hard line of his cock grinds against you, making you stutter out expletives as it presses against you with a needy demand. 

"You like 'dat, cher? Talk t' me..."

You nod, swallowing and wetting your throat. "Y-yeah, fuck... I do... need you – it – so bad."

“Whaddya’ need?”

“N-need you… so bad.” 

“You can do betta’. Tell Remy what you need...” 

He presses you harder against the door, your back sliding against the wood as he kisses a trail down from your mouth to your shoulder, sucking and biting with all the right intensities. As his hips grind against yours, you feel the damp fabric slide across your cunt, alerting you to just how wet he’d made you. Fuck. 

“Need… need you to fuck me. Hard. Need to feel you everywhere.”  

A few hours ago, you’d agreed to Taco Tuesday at Wade’s. Now, you were getting dry humped by a really hot Cajun guy and moaning into the curve between his neck and his shoulder. You were positive that if someone opened their door, they’d hear you. Somewhere in your brain, the thought should have been moderately embarrassing, but you were far too invested in Remy to care. 

Without warning, Gambit lifts you away from the door and carries you to the nearby couch. He never breaks the kiss, still feverishly claiming your mouth as he moves. Your back hits the cushions and before you can process it, his body weight is on top of you. He slots himself in between your legs, and his hard-on bumps into your stomach as his hips rut against you, finding some relief in the friction. But not enough. 

Remy’s hand finds the hem of your shirt, lifting it just enough to allow his fingers underneath the fabric. You bite down on the pillow of your bottom lip and push your hips up into his. Thick, strong digits sweep across your skin, leaving a burning trail of fire in their wake. Every touch brings your temperature up, and it isn’t long before your entire body is consumed in flames. You sigh contentedly, arching up into his touch. 

Abruptly, Remy straightens up, crosses his arms over his torso and pulls his shirt over his head, revealing his tan skin and bulky muscles. His stocky stature makes your tummy clench with anticipation. He was fit, as you assumed, but that didn’t stop your jaw from falling open at the sight. 

“Wow,” you finally choke.

Remy grins. “You like what you see?” 

You nod furiously, hands snapping to his toned abdomen. He’s warm and his skin is soft, begging to be touched. The muscles flex underneath your fingers as you trace a long stripe from his belly button to his collarbone. Your hands claw at his shoulder, attempting to pull him back down on you, but he resists. 

He spoke with a playfulness, almost a sort of pleading. His thumbs flicks at the hem of your shirt. “Ah, c’mon, ‘dat ain’t fair. Enlève-tout toi, huh?” (Take it all off.)

You thought you understood, but if you didn’t, it didn’t matter. Remy was quick to translate his words, busy undressing you, pulling your worn t-shirt over your head, and reaching around your back to unclasp your bra. Most men would’ve fumbled with the clasp, but not him. His adept fingers make quick work of it, allowing your breasts to fall free. He throws your bra somewhere behind him. 

“Hooo, cher…!” His eyes light up at the visual and you feel heat blooming on your cheeks again, half expecting him to make a lewd comment. Instead, his hands cup your tits, kneading the soft plumpness like dough, thumbs grazing the nipples. He exhales through his mouth, jerking his head to the side. 

Finally, he kisses you again. It’s wet and sloppy and his mouth is consuming you, tasting you hungrily. His hips are still moving, sweeping into yours with a calculated precision. You try to spread your legs but the back of the couch thwarts your attempt. He notices this, watching as you struggle with the space. 

“You got a bed?” He asked in between smearing kisses along your neck and collarbone. 

“Yeah-yeah…. Down the hall.” 

“Remy be needin’ more room for what he wanna’ do t’you.”

His weight is suddenly gone from you, an unwelcome sensation, even though you know he’s about to carry you wedding-style down the hallway. He bends down, one arm sliding underneath your neck, the other in the crook behind your knees. For the second time that night, he lifts you into his arms.

You rest your cheek against his warm pectoral muscle, rocking back and forth, as he walks you both down the dark hallway. The only light in the room comes from the window, the city outside alive and humming. Carefully, Remy sets you down on the bed, unmade from this morning, your dark gray sheets cool to the touch. 

In nothing but your underwear, which at this point, are damp to the touch, you’re left feeling very exposed. But you can’t muster up any shame, not when he’s looking at you with such hunger, such want. Your tummy feels tight, and the feeling gets worse when Remy’s hands drop to his waist, unzipping and unbuttoning his pants. They fall loose at the waist, and he shucks them down the rest of the way, leaving him in nothing but a pair of deep purple boxers. Your eyes swing heavy to the outline that’s now presented to you. 

Oh my god. 

Your breath hitches in your throat. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise; Remy was a big guy, and that proved true downstairs, too. You can barely pull your eyes away from it, but you begrudgingly rip them away, to look up into his gaze. 

“Please,” you beg. “You’re too far away…” Your cunt is aching and nothing but him, his hands, his dick, will sate her. 

He leans forward, flattening both hands on the mattress and walks them back until his face is in front of yours. He sweeps you into another kiss and your heart races. His hands are perfectly positioned on either side of your hips, you feel them graze the flesh. His finger hooks around the elastic of your panties, twisting it around his pointer finger and gradually, he tugs them down over the curve of your hip.

You nod lazily against his mouth, as you feel the warmth of his hand near your core. Your legs drop apart, knees touching the mattress as you allow him access. One hand sweeps across your inner thighs, stroking them, while the other palms your soft mound. His other hand comes to pause at your knee, and pushes his weight into it softly, forcing you to stay spread-eagle for him. No way you could’ve done this on the sofa. 

There’s no hesitation in the way he fingers you; sweeping up through your slick folds, smearing your arousal around until she’s coated in it, splaying your pretty, wet cunt apart with his fingers, looking upon it hungrily. He knows what he’s doing, and how to do it right. You briefly wonder if that’s another mutant power he has… though being an expert at fingering someone seems outlandish. But he’s just so good at it. His middle finger barely touches you, circling the bundle of nerves delicately. Your back arches up towards him, a desperate groan vibrating your vocal chords. Delighted by your reaction, his finger flicks upwards at your swollen, sensitive clit, making your body literally quiver. 

“Uhugh – god…. Shit, oh my god.” 

He continues like this for several minutes, until your cunt is blazing hot and clenching with every moan you give. 

By the time he presses one finger inside, you’re teetering on the edge of an orgasm and your voice fills the room with needy, desperate sounds. You let out a shrill whine, and he slips in another finger, feeling the stretch of muscle as he does. His heart is pounding in his chest, overcome with lust. The way you sound, the way your body is moving and writhing on the bed, he can’t wait to sink himself into you. 

Amidst a laugh, he says: “People gon’ think we up in here watchin’ porn.”

Did he just insinuate that you sounded like a pornstar? You lifted your head, wearily, to look at him. Your chest heaves with each breath as you try to formulate a snarky remark to no avail. He looked so good – well, always – but he looked particularly good on top of you, his bright eyes lust blown and hungry. 

“We’re… we’re… porn… it’s…  oh god.” 

He shushes you. “You just lay back and keep moanin’.” 

Defeated, you huff and your head hits the sheets again, but not before you catch a glimpse of the way the muscles in his forearm ripple as it pumps back and forth into your cunt. You can’t help but moan at the sight, feeling a shockwave rupture your core. Your hips meet his fingers, rutting and writhing against the mattress in a needy rhythm.

Your first orgasm claims your body before you can stop it. You’re clenching around his fingers as they move, crooking upwards into your sensitive spots. Your slick coats his fingers and when Gambit pulls his hand back, thick, clear strands string from between them. He smiles down at you. 

Remy raises himself to his knees. “Turn ‘round…” 

You flip over and back yourself towards him, thinking that he’s going to go at it doggy-style, but to your surprise, he pulls you upright, pressing your back against his chest. His dick is hot between your legs, and when he reaches down to line it up, you let your head loll back against his shoulder. Gambit’s mouth finds the side of your neck, streaking it with wet, suckling kisses. He was taking his time with you, savouring you and you hum happily through closed lips, reaching behind you to thread your fingers through his hair.

“Fuck, you feel so good…” Instinctively, your hips undulate and his cock slips between your folds. Remy’s hips buck once, letting out a groan that comes from somewhere deep. 

“You ready, cher?” He asks, sweeping your hair away from your neck. You nod furiously. You’ve been ready – you were ready the moment you laid eyes on him.

Remy reaches down to sweep his fingers along your entrance briefly, before gripping himself and guiding the head of his cock into the slit. You keen at the feeling of his velvet-soft head pressing into your entrance, warm pre-cum leaking from the slit. He murmurs words of encouragement into your ear as you feel his hips press against your ass, urging his thick, veiny shaft inside your cunt. He does it gently, allowing you time to adjust to the girth, but the sting still makes you cry out. “Fffuck!”

He begins to thrust his hips shallowly, your cunt stretching around his cock. The feeling is all-consuming, and your body feels heavy in his grasp. One hand is gripping your waist tightly, the other, fingers splayed out on your stomach just above your cunt. There’s a pressure building in your cunt, and each thrust magnifies it. The sting of his cock fades to an ache, then to a dull throbbing that makes you want more and you lean forward slightly and press your ass into the curves of his hips, meeting his thrusts. 

“Mm, ‘dat’s it, cher…” His voice is hot on your skin. 

His thrusts get deeper, but there’s a lingering tension in his body that makes you feel like he’s not getting what he wants. You’re right; all at once, Remy pulls his cock from you and switches positions. 

You’re suddenly on your back, looking up at him as he looms over you, all muscle. His cockhead nudges your entrance again, but doesn’t penetrate. 

“Say my name, cher… I needa’ hear it leave ‘dat pretty mouth.” 

“Which one? Gambit? Or Remy?” You ask, breathlessly.

The way his eyes rolled back at the second option told you everything you needed to know. A smirk twisted your lips cruelly and you lifted your body slightly, just enough for your mouth to reach his ear. You moan his name over and over again, knowing full well the effect it’s having on the mutant man.

“Remy, Remy, Remy….” Your tone is high-pitched and whiny, but he seems to enjoy the lewdness of it all. He bucks his hips hard into you, and the fullness reaches an all-time high as he bottoms out, his pelvis hitting yours with a slap.

“Huhhh—!” You gasp, breathing ragged. “Fuck!”

“Gonna’ make you cum so hard you ain’t gon’ walk right for days.” His voice is low and filthy and leaves a stain on your mind. Your cunt clenches around him possessively, pulling him somehow deeper inside of you. 

As your head bangs into your headboard, the tip of his cock bumps your cervix over and over again, and your jaw goes slack, literally fucked silent. Remy hears the thudding of your skull and puts a hand between it and the wood, but he doesn’t stop his relentless, deep thrusting. 

The pleasure reaches a peak and your nails dig into his back, leaving crescent moon shaped indentations on his golden skin. Remy’s groaning loud into your ear as he cums, muttering in an almost incoherent melange of French and English. His accent is somehow heavier, and you can barely make out the words as he’s saying them into your skin. It doesn’t matter though, because you feel how full you are, and Remy’s hot, white completion is leaking out the sides and staining your sheets. 

He stays like that for a moment, hovering on top of you. His cock softens inside, completely spent and eventually, he slips it out, rolling over onto your bed.

“Ah, joi de vivre, huh.” (the joy of life), he says drowsily.

You laugh, and nestle underneath his arm, in the space he’s left for you. 

If you had your way, you’d do it all over again. 

Though he doesn’t say it, so would he. 

[bratzforchris]

I Think You're Hot

Summary: SFW and NSFW headcanons about Matt being the golden retriever to his bisexual wife's black cat <3

Pairing: Matt x feminine!reader

Warnings: Smut, pouty bottom/bratty sub!Matt, oral (f receiving), p in v, dom fem!reader, mentions of threesomes, nipple play (none of this is overly descriptive because it's headcanons, but you're responsible for what you consume online!)

A/N: Many of these may seem like I am stereotyping bisexual people, especially women. I am bisexual myself and truly mean no harm by this <3 Every bisexual person is different! Don't fetishize us and love us for who we are 🩷💜💙 Special tag for my bff @nicksbestie for plotting with me <3 Enjoy!

SFW

✯Matt who gave his (then girlfriend, now) wife the biggest smile and hug when she came out to him

"You know this doesn't change how I feel about you, right? You're still my girl, and I love you more than anything in the world. Plus, now we get to have celebrity crushes together!!"

"That's the first thing you think of?"

"Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn is hot as fuck."

"...you got me there."

✯ He absolutely adores all of your piercings and tattoos. They make you so you. He loves to leave kisses on each one when you're cuddling

✯ Speaking of tatted/pierced bi baddie, you gotta add the colored hair to that, right? Matt adores going to the beauty supply store with you and picking out new hair colors for you to try

"Purple and pink?"

"There isn't a single color you couldn't pull off, my love."

✯ Matt who goes ALL FUCKING OUT for pride. There's a rainbow flag outside your house, he's putting pink/purple/blue hair chalk in his hair, and he is happily accompanying you and Nick to all the pride parades and festivals

"It's pride month, so I have to do whatever you say."

"Matt...you do that every month, baby. You're whipped."

✯ He absolutely loves playing games with you, even if he has to hear about how hot certain characters are. You even have matching gaming setups <3

✯ Every single one of their subscribers comments on how well dressed Matt is. Where do you think he gets his style tips? His wife 100%. You know how to perfectly balance between masculine and feminine, having your own days where you leaned more towards one or the other

✯ Matt who becomes a coffee shop enthusiast. You're rather addicted to iced coffees, and he's willing to oblige your addiction. The fans go especially crazy over photos of the two of you in cute cafes

✯ "Goddamn, I am so gay."

"Oh 😞"

✯ Matt who helps you cuff your jeans <3

✯ Absolutely jumps to defend you from bigots. He may seem shy and gentle, but the second someone even thinks anything rude about his wife, he is jumping down their throats

✯ Matt who loves the style you pull off. He thinks the way you wear flannels, jeans, and Converse one day and then full beat makeup and heels the next is so beyond sexy

✯ "Matt, look she's so hot."

"She's very hot, but not as hot as you *cheesy grin*."

✯ On days when you're not very feeling confident in your sexuality, Matt makes sure to give you extra love and attention, promising that he thinks you're amazing no matter what <3

NSFW

✯ Matt who's okay with threesomes as long as there's clear boundaries that the other girl isn't joining your relationship full time

✯ Two hot women domming him? He's folding so fast

✯ Matt who's an absolute brat because he loves seeing his dom get all worked up

"You watch my mouth. I can't see it."

"What was that, sweet boy? Fix the attitude."

✯ Showing your third partner how to control him and Matt just smiles sweetly, all thoughts that don't have to do with him being pounded into the mattress disappearing

✯ If it was just you and Matt, he absolutely loves to eat you out to show you how "sorry" he is (he will mouth off again)

"Please...I promise I won't *grunt* do it again."

"Fine. But you better use that mouth for what's it made for and make this worth my while."

✯ Matt whose wife has her nipples pierced and he loves to play with them, gently sucking over the cool metal of the barbells

✯ Matt who loves it when you're on top, riding him until he's begging to cum with tears in his eyes

✯ When you have a third partner, he can't help but to grind his hips into the mattress as he whimpers, watching the two prettiest girls he knows go down on each other

✯ Matt who has a collar with his wife's name on it and blushes when your third partner points it out

"Someone really is whipped, huh?"

*cue blushes, gentle giggles, and enthusiastic nods*

✯ Matt who loves his bi wife and wouldn't trade her for anything 🩷💜💙

tags ♡: @sturnlovr @matthewsturniologirly @pkfferoo @jetaimevous @blahbel668 @sturniolowhore @muwapsturniolo @nicksbestie @sturnlova @gxldenlush @calumsrockstar @pepsiluvr0209

[actual-changeling]

Crowley did not want the holy water as a suicide pill in 1862, but I believe he not not wanted it as one

He gets pulled down to hell in 1827 and it's not just a slap on the wrist for something minor, he did a very good deed—that didn't just cost them one soul, it has ripple effects! It cost them dozens if not more, depending on what Elspeth did with her life.

Additionally, we do not know how long he stayed in hell. "Quite some time" is not a very exact measurement, and I know there are theories that it wasn't long at all, but that's pure speculation.

Canonically, the next time we see him is in 1862, so assuming he took some time to adjust to the new period, he could have come back as late as 1861. It is entirely possible—and in my opinion very likely—that he spent over thirty years being tortured in hell.

By "torture" I do mean actual torture, btw, the same kind hell threatens him with. In the scriptbook, there's a deleted monologue Dagon has while Crowley is getting rejected (again).

They save the wonderful line "Because no matter what agonies the damned are suffering, Crowley, you will have it worse. We SEE how hell tortures the damned, Furfur literally plays it to us like a corporate powerpoint, so whatever they did to him after '27 was bad.

Crowley looks tired, exhausted, almost sick. He is paranoid, in mental and/or physical pain, he looks like he has lost weight, and we barely see him move at all.

Now compare to the Crowley we saw in Edinburgh. Carefree, happy, taking Aziraphale on dates and going on fun little adventures, getting drunk on laudanum, smiling, jumping around—this is the most relaxed we have seen him since around 1601.

After this, we never see him like that again. That bouncy, curly-haired demon is gone, and hell is responsible; they broke him. I know that look on his face in '62, I saw it every day in the mirror for twenty years, which were (also honestly quite literally) torturous.

Crowley asked for the holy water as insurance, he had probably already come up with several contingency plans involving.

What would happen if they still got him though? What if he erased a demon or two and then hell dragged him back down? I am 100% certain that Dagon would have made good on the promise they give him later. If it had come down to killing himself with holy water or being tortured for all eternity, he would have chosen death without hesitation.

Better dead than in hell.

[ssahotchnerr]

Can I request a fic based on these thought ❤️Aaron would 100% be the kind of dad that would spend all night building a barbie house or dolls house and would also very willingly sit and play barbie’s with his daughters.

well worth it

YOU'RE SO RIGHT THAT'S TOO CUTE cw; girl dad!aaron, bau!fem!reader, fluff <3

growing impatient and nearly beginning to doze off without him, you exited your bedroom in search of aaron. you've waited all day to be cozied up with him, and you simply couldn't wait any longer.

you've been comfortably waiting for over an hour; having gone through your full night routine, getting into bed, reading a few chapters of your current read. aaron even came in to change into his pajamas at one point, but trailed out again.

"hey you," you peeked your head into the living room, finding aaron laying stomach-down on the plush carpet. "you coming to bed? it's getting late."

"in a minute." aaron mumbled gently in response, his voice vaguely muffled into whatever it was he had in front of him. "as soon as i finish up here."

you ventured further into the room in curiosity, the closer proximity allowing you to see your daughter's new dollhouse set before him.

your nose crinkled lightly in amusement, a small smile forming on your face. and as if aaron could sense it - he peered up at you, a matching smile on his own lips as he saw your tickled expression, his brown eyes aglow.

"i promised i would have it ready in the morning." aaron admitted with a soft chuckle as he sat up, you scrambling down on the carpet to join him. "it's done, there's just so many damn stickers that have to be in certain spots." he grabbed the instruction pamphlet, studying it for a moment. "wallpaper for every room, that was a pain. things like a bath rug for the bathroom. even some go on the furniture - they're tiny, tiny stickers..."

as he trailed on and on, listing all the details, you fell quiet the more you followed along to his words, your eyes analyzing his face in slight astonishment.

"what?" aaron laughed breathlessly again, his eyebrows furrowing quizzically as he tossed the pamphlet aside, the paper creating a fluttering sound as it fell. he grasped onto the sticker sheet once more, his lips drawing into a frustrated line as he struggled to peel one off - his large hands all to blame.

"it still surprises me out of nowhere sometimes, despite how much time has passed." you shook your head slightly in content, swiping the sheet from his hands. you easily removed the sticker, handing it to him. "you're listing off the necessities for a dollhouse. for our daughter. there was a time where the most i heard you talk was while giving a profile, and just, here we are now. i dunno, does that make sense?"

"completely." aaron agreed as his smile retook form on his face, placing the sticker where it belonged. "happens to me every day. how lucky i am to have you. never thought i'd be dad to another, yet alone a girl dad at that."

"it suits you." you grinned, leaning over to press a quick kiss to his cheek. "want some help? anything to get you to bed sooner."

aaron looked at the instructions again, a soft hum leaving his mouth as he thought. "again, it's pretty much finished foundation wise. but if you wanna start setting the furniture inside, be my guest darling."

side by side, the two of you worked together, rather giddily at that. quiet quips, playful comments how your own home could use these and whatnot (aaron groaned at your suggestion of wallpaper). warm but soft laughter, to prevent waking up jack and your little girl. you continued to help aaron peel the stickers as needed, and he, the notorious stickler, double checked you were putting items in the correct places 'according to the instructions'. you both knew once your daughter had her hands on her dollhouse, would nothing remain where it belonged, but that didn't stop him from teasing you; "did you put it in the-" "aaron, yes!"

finally, once in bed with aaron at your backside this time, one of his arms draped securely around your waist, you fell asleep with the heartwarming thought that your daughter's very first request in the morning - after her initial excitement - would be for aaron to play dolls with her. and of course, would he comply (just for a bit, and as long as she finished breakfast first). five minutes would surely turn into ten, fifteen, twenty depending on how early she awoke.

such brought up the potential risk of aaron being late to work, but if it allowed just a few more smiles to come from baby girl, it was well worth it.

[dsybouquet]

random ellie hcs because i miss her dearly ༊*·˚

no warnings really, just hcs lol

ׂׂ

ׂׂૢ she’s a car girl and would definitely drive an old dodge charger if she got her hands onto one. she’d do all the tuning herself and dreams of an huge collection of cars, be it JDMs or oldtimers.

ׂׂૢ also when you first got to know her she was quite closed up. that quickly changed once she got more comfortable also with being touched. ellie has a hard time allowing physical affection, but once she jumped over that barrier, that girl is holding onto you for dear life.

ׂׂૢ high-functioning stoner. yes, stoner! ellie is my favourite, but i’m convinced she can do anything high. drive a car? easy. go to work? easy. fuck your brains out? EASY. perhaps she has an little dependency problem going on, but she doesn’t see it as such.

ׂׂૢ she doesnt seem like it, but i am certain she is the sweetest sweetheart. awkward for sure, but she’s trying her best to always make sure you’re safe and happy. anything for her girl <3

ׂׂૢ in addition to that, ellie DEMANDS you to let her know when you’re home safe. not because she’s controlling but because she genuinely cares! if you don’t text she’ll text you something like “babe, are you okay??”

ׂׂૢ she 100% is a card game enjoyer. just see her playing poker with her friends, cigarette or joint between her lips, the straightest poker face of them all… passing away

ׂׂૢ ellie loves 70s / 80s rock. convinced. black sabbath is her favourite.

ׂׂૢ loves cuddling on the couch but needs space in bed. i dont really know how to explain this one tbh. very rarely she’ll cuddle while falling asleep, mostly when you or she is feeling bad. if it’s just for napping though then she needs all the cuddles you can give !

thats it. i miss ellie :(

[walnuthillfarm]

Enhanced Horse Tail Slider

It's been a long time coming... the very first CC horse slider! This is a replacement for EA's tail slider.

This is an all-in-one slider which includes 4 sliders total.

Tail Height (up and down, left view)

Tail Distance (left and right, left view)

Tail Thickness (left and right, back view)

Tail Length (up and down, back view)

I've done very little testing outside of CAS with this, so please feel free to let me know of any issues you run into! Everything seems to work quite nicely with CAS poses, which is a good sign. The only little issue I've noticed with them is when the tail distance is extended, it can stick out a bit unnaturally. This might be fixable on my end in the future.

Should anyone else create a tail slider, this mod will NOT be compatible - you will have to decide between them.

Are you working on any other sliders? I have a whole list planned and in the works, however this was the easiest of them. Some of the other sliders I'm working on have had over 15 versions where I've just had to make constant tweaks. I'm open to suggestions below, but they're probably already on my to-do list.

Are you working on a height slider? I cannot for the life of me get this to work, likely because I (honestly) have no idea what I'm doing, but also potentially because MorphMaker isn't 100% yet for horses. This one may have to be left to the experts, however I am working on sliders that will affect height slightly.

Are you making head or body presets? The version of MorphMaker we currently have is experimental and therefore lots of things aren't working. I haven't been able to get the features I need for presets working yet, but I would like to make them in the future!

Enjoy!

Notes:

It can be difficult to grab the tail to use the sliders, especially when you're using certain tail styles. From my limited testing, you can usually grab it right at the base of the tail. You can slightly change the angle or swap to a different tail if need be.

When shortening the tail distance, it can distort the area it joins the horse's bum. I might be able to fix this in the future, but for now we'll just have to live with it.

When extending the tail length, the tail may clip into the ground if it's particularly long - have a play around with this, as sliders don't need to be used at their maximum!

Any other distortion is likely to do with the tail style you're using and not really the slider.

The GIFs help to demonstrate the angle you need to use these sliders, just like any EA ones.

Download - Patreon

[yourmidnightlover]

(You don’t have to do this) Xavier Thorpe x reader

The try not to kiss each other challenge on tiktok

ahh YES! i hope i brought your request to justice

i'm gonna take this as like a lovers to friends to lovers kinda thing bc there isnt enough of that going around with our beloved xavier

i also wanted to let y'all know that i am working through my requests! inspiration strikes at odd hours, and i'm trying to delegate all of my time respectively to all of the fics i'm working on. but i assure you i will work through everything!

tension

paring: xavier thorpe x reader (duh)

summary: after months of flirting, your friends take matters into their own hands and dared you to do a tiktok trend.

warnings: kissing, tons of tension (also duh),they're cuddly? i don't think there's really anything else but let me know if i've missed something!

it had been months and months of flirting between you and xavier thorpe. consistent, unending, raw flirting. this included the batting of eyelashes, shoving of arms, longing stares, buying of gifts... everything. the whole shebang.

and god, were enid, ajax and wednesday tired of it. wednesday constantly wanted to claw her own eyes out when she saw you. enid thought it was cute the first two months, but after that she was only confused as to why you would never make it official. and ajax would just tease the two of you. he voiced his concerns with xavier, occasionally with you, but mostly with xavier. he would mostly talk about how dumb he was to not just ask you out or make it official.

so, as enid was scrolling through tiktok, she stumbled upon a certain video of two friends... or mayabe they were more? either way, they were sitting in front of each other, and each one moved closer to the other. the premise was whoever breaks the tension and kisses the other loses, she guessed?

regardless, there was tension and there was a kiss and that is exactly what needs to happen with you and xavier in order to put everyone out of their misery.

so, she sent the tiktok to ajax and wednesday, the message reading:

weregirl: OMG! we've got to get them to do this! they'd totally admit everything!

middleoftheweek: this is repulsive to watch, but i hope it will be worth it as long as they get whatever they need to out of their system

snakes4hair: if this gives my boy the push he needs to make a move then i'll do basically whatever

and just like that... the game was afoot.

"dude," ajax was laughing at the lunch table. you had thrown your legs over xavier's lap, your head resting on his shoulder as he played with your hair. "there's this new thing i saw online the other day. enid sent it to me, and i doubt you and y/n would be able to do it," ajax chuckled as he looked towards enid.

"oh, definitely not," enid shook her head exaggeratedly. "they'd never be able to do it."

"do what?" xavier spoke up as he took a bite of your sandwich.

"yea, do what?" you perked up at the idea of a chellnege. "we could do it, right?"

"hell yea," xavier nodded as he pat your thigh. "we could 100% do it."

"i don't think you could," wednesday said curtly, sneering at both you and xavier's closeness. "at all."

"yes we could!" xavier removed his hands from your hair, throwing them up dramatically.

"alright," ajax spoke up. "i dare you to complete little challenge. you have to record it though, as proof, and post it."

"deal!" both you and xavier looked at each other, giving each other a high five that only resulted in your hands holding.

later that night, you and xavier had retreated to his shed as he painted before they sent you the video you had to recreate.

"seriously?" you scoffed. "they're just sitting there looking at each other with music playing," you looked at xavier as the video played.

"wait," he pointed at the screen. "they're like inching closer to each other. like one does and then the other."

"but why?" you got your answer less than thirty seconds later. "oh..." you glanced at xavier, who bit his lower lip before glancing at you with a smile.

"i never back down from a dare," xavier shrugged as he looked at you.

you nodded, "neither do i."

after setting up the camera with the video on the three-minute setting, about to start recording. you were sitting on the mattress that you had both smuggled in his shed, the one that used to be rowans before... well. yea. both sitting across from each other, your legs were overlapped with each other's. then, the music started playing.

at first you were both smiling, giggling, even. you inched closer to his face first, around 10 seconds after the music started. your faces seemed closer than they ever were before, and that's when the smiles faded and the tension built.

he reached around you and pulled you on top of his lap for his move. the longer this went on, the more it felt like a game of chess, only physical. you swore you could see every shade of green littering his irises. his cologne somehow radiated around you. you made the mistake of looking at his lips, curiosity getting the better of you. he was gently biting his lower lip. it was almost as if he wanted you to kiss it better.

then, you placed your hand on the lower side of his face, nearer to his neck. you could feel his pulse rate picking up. it was exciting to see what kind of power you had over him. you could now feel the way you affected him. now, you saw as his eyes went to your lips which only made you smirk that much more.

he used both of his hands to bring your face right in front of his. he was everywhere. to your side, you would see his hands. his hands took up nearly your entire face, and you loved the way they felt against your skin. part of you never wanted them to leave. you could nudge his nose with your own if you even slightly moved. you were getting close to losing this whole game. you wouldn't. you couldn't.

you tilted your head to the left, bringing your lips closer to his own but not touching. you were so close you could practically breathe in each other's air. you could feel his pulse pick up once more before you licked your lips, you felt his chuckle radiating around your head. but when you looked in his eyes you felt something totally different. it was heavier. it was more.

then, with a mumble, "screw it," he pulled your face into his own, kissing you with all the tension he had built up over not just the past two minutes, but from the past months of doing nothing.

your hand moved up to his hair, running through it like you had so many times. in this context, though, your hand running through his hair was so, so much different. it was much more intimate.

you let his tongue into your mouth happily, nearly breaking the kiss with how big of a grin you had on your face. one of his hands moved to your waist, wrapping around you like the warmest hug you've ever had. your other hand was holding the hand still on your face. you meant it when you said you never wanted them to leave.

truth be told, you never wanted him to leave. you never wanted to stop kissing him. you've wanted to for months on end, but you were too scared of being rejected. you thought he was joking about all of the flirting sometimes. the touches, everything. but this kiss felt more real than time.

"i think i won," xavier whispered as he went up for air. you shook your head.

"i think ajax won," you chuckled as you both began to laugh. "him or myself, of course," you rolled your eyes.

"we all won," he compromised.

"stupid tension, huh?"

[idyllic-ghost]

i am sooo down bad for woozi gosh I have this thought where whenever you miss woozi, you would usually text him the usual "i miss you" type of text but this time you thought of "spicing" it up a bit so you set up your phone at a certain angle where you can be seen sitting on his pillow riding, rubbing yourself against it while imagining him and whimpering moaning his name and how you miss him so so bad.

and of course, you sent it to your oh so loving boyfriend, wooz 👁️

this ask went from 0 to 100 so quick-

warnings: not proofed, smut, masturbation, pillownhumping, exhibitionism

MDNI

You didn't know how long it had been since you saw Jihoon last - you didn't even know if he came home every night. You thought that he made it home last night, as you faintly remember him pressing a kiss to your cheek before crawling into bed with you that night, but there was no one next to you in the morning. The Seventeen comeback was coming up, and your boyfriend's been away for longer hours than he usually was. His hardworking nature was one of the things you loved about him, but you also loved his attention and affection.

The only reason you knew that he was alive is because he texted and called you every day, every chance he got - and his members kept sending pictures of him sitting by his computer to you. You haven't been able to come by his studio for the past few weeks, partly because of work but also because you didn't want to disturb him.

It was all just too much. You needed your boyfriend, and from his texts you could tell that he needed you too. Never before had he been this openly desperate for you to come over to the studio just to sit with him for a while. Everyone was struggling - including both of your friend groups who had to listen to your many complaints.

So as the comeback came and passed, you expected it to finally stop. But, of course, it didn't. There was somehow more work to get done now than there was before. You had enough. The 'I miss you' texts could only do so much, so you decided to do something you'd never do otherwise. Time's were desperate...

You prop up your phone against the lamp on the bedside lamp, the camera perfectly angled to capture your entire body on the bed. Between your legs is one of Jihoon's pillows, sitting snuggly against your clothed core. You're wearing nothing but panties and one of his black t-shirts. As the timer counts down for the camera to start recording, you start moving your hips against the pillow.

A moan escaped your lips as you were pleasantly surprised by how sensitive you had gotten from just thinking about sending this to him. You hadn't gotten to touch him in so long - and you hadn't even thought about touching yourself, too busy with work or with playing the supportive girlfriend. You hadn't even realized how worked up you had gotten throughout it all.

The sound of the camera starting the recording made you let out another whine. Your body acted on its own, as your hips were grinding against your boyfriend's pillow. Your hands moved underneath your shirts, feeling up your warm skin under the soft material. The smell of him lingered on his clothes, engulfing you in the delusion that he was actually there.

"Fuck, baby..." you whimpered. "I miss you so much..."

Your hands found their way to the hem of the shirt and pulled it over your head. After throwing the piece of clothing to the side, you gripped onto Jihoon's pillow and rutted against it harder. A coil had started building up in your core, as you kept thinking about your boyfriend seeing the video. Never had you imagined that this could be such a turn on. Picturing Jihoon seeing the video was sending you spiraling; you thought of him having to lock the doors to his studio and pull out his fat cock to find some relief.

You babbled incoherently as you lost yourself to pleasure - moaning about missing him, needing him, wanting him close to you until the coil finally snapped. Your hips stuttered against the pillow as your body crashed against the bed. After what felt like hours, but probably lasted only seconds, you sat up and trembled towards the camera.

"Please come home, baby," you murmured before turning the camera off.

After sending the video to Jihoon, he read it after a couple minutes. He was always quick to respond, but the typing bubble didn't appear until a few minutes later - the time it'd take him to watch the video. You bit the nail of your thumb as you watched him type for what felt like hours. Then, he finally sent the message:

I'll be home in five minutes.

[annwrites]

my lil' cherry pie

— pairing: billy hargrove x fem!reader

— type: part of a series

— summary: honestly, it's just a whole lotta fuckin' in this one

— tags: billy being extremely happy. billy having an idea involving the hood of his car. you & billy getting frisky in the shower.

— tw: sex, exhibitionism, bj, f receiving oral

— word count: 5,509

— a/n: i wish loverboy's lovin' every minute of it had come out a year earlier, bc billy would've 100% been blaring that in the camaro, too, after spending all morning in bed with reader lol.

i am also AWARE that bon jovi's slippery when wet didn't come out until '86, but i wanted to use that line in the shower scene, so it is what it is.

i'm not writing billy as some perfect casanova in the bedroom. i'm aware that's the fantasy with him, but he's still an eighteen-year-old boy. and i think it's actually sweet that he has a harder time lasting with reader in certain situations, bc he's just that turned on bc it's with her—his dream girl.

Billy grinds his hips down against your ass, unable to sink any deeper inside your soaking heat. “That feel good, honey?”

You whimper in response, nearly drooling on the pillow beneath you, which your cheek rests upon, your head turned toward the curtained window.  “Y-yes,” you say quietly, clenching around him.

“Mm, I bet.” He drawls out.

He slowly eases out and then back into you, and your eyes roll back at the feeling, slowly closing. You grip the sheets under you.

He removes one hand from gripping the mattress and instead grips your hip instead, circling his own. “You like that, sweetheart?”

You nod, burying your face in the pillow as he flexes his shoulder blades, gripping you harder.

“I can tell. God, you’re fucking soaked. I can hear just how wet you are.”

He wasn’t wrong. After last night—you not orgasming from penetration alone during your first time—he’d awoken shortly before dawn on a mission.

He’d woken you with hot kisses along your bare breasts, down your stomach, then back up to your lips. You’d been half-asleep when he’d eased inside of you, causing you to gasp in surprise.

You’d orgasmed the second time the two of you had sex the night before, but that’d only been due to him rubbing feverishly at your clit until you did so.

You think that maybe his manhood feels a bit threatened by it. So, he’d spent hours this morning inside of you, using everything he had, everything he knew, to make you cum from his cock alone.

While you enjoyed yourself, he treated it more like some training exercise. Learning the ins and out of your body. What made you tremble and shake with pleasure and what didn’t.

Your first ‘session’ had to be cut short because he’d gotten a cramp it was taking so long for you to reach a climax—you hadn’t even been close when he’d stopped.

You’d tried explaining to him that it was okay—you saw nothing wrong with only being able to come from clitoral stimulation alone, but he’d said that wasn’t good enough.

So, a few minutes later, he’d sat you in his lap, your back pressed to his chest and his cock between your legs once more. Halfway through, you’d reached down to begin playing with yourself, until he’d grabbed your hand, lightly smacking it. “Aa, none of that,” he’d chastised you.

That position had reached some new place inside of you, but still not quite right. So he’d laid down, gripping your hips, telling you to do whatever felt good. You’d bounced on his cock and it’d only taken him watching you do as much for a few minutes before he’d came himself. And loudly.

He’d needed to take another break after that.

The third time, he’d had the both of you lay down on your sides, him once again pressed up behind you, your left leg thrown over his hip as he gripped yours, fucking you fervently. He had pounded away inside of you, both of his hands eventually moving higher, grabbing your tits, squeezing, toying with your nipples, even sticking his fingers in your mouth, but you still didn’t cum.

And right now was his fourth attempt. You were so wet now that it was all over your thighs. His as well. You could hear it every time he eased his cock in and out—squelching. It made your face heat in embarrassment, even if he’d stressed how hot he found it to be. Teasing you about it earlier had not helped, however. Like when he had told you 'It's like a fuckin' slip and slide down here. At least I don't have to worry about pickin' up lube once we hit the road again.'.

He reaches down, spreading your left leg, until your knee is bent and he slips slowly out, then back in.

“Goddamn,” he mutters, his cock twitching inside of you.

You lay your cheek back against the pillow, panting lightly at just how relaxed you feel.

He runs his palm down your spine and your body trembles, you clenching around him again. You want so badly to reach between your legs. You’d been desperate to come hours ago, but unless it was from his cock and only that, he wouldn’t allow it.

He lowers himself closer to you. “C’mon, baby, I know you like this. Tell me what you need.”

Honestly, it all felt pretty good. Okay, really good. But no matter what he did, there just didn’t seem to be some magical spot inside of you that would bring you over the edge.

“I…dunno. Mm. Feels good, though.”

His brow twitches, back starting to hurt. “Believe me, I can tell just how good you feel. Just,” he grunts. “Tell me how to get you to cum all over my cock, doll.”

You snuggle the pillow under you, pushing your hips back against him. “My clit.”

He groans. “Anything else.”

You shrug slightly, now drooling. “Ah, Billy…”

He slips out of you and you pout quietly, until he flips you onto your back.

When you look up at him, the curls at his hairline are now damp and sticking to his forehead, a few drops of sweat beading there. He really was working hard at this.

“Alright, time to try something else,” he says lowly.

You spread your legs wide for him, gripping your breasts, tugging against your nipples and he takes himself in-hand, easing into you.

You sigh in satisfaction.

He then presses his right hand down on your lower stomach, applying pressure there.

He reaches up with his other hand, sticking two fingers in your mouth and you drool all over them, sucking, licking, nearly gagging yourself on them you’re so into it.

He turns his hips just the least bit to the left and you gasp, pulling his fingers out. “Ah, there.”

He looks up at you, stilling for only a moment, eyes wide—excited. “Yeah?”

You nod, shoving his fingers back in your mouth.

He keeps his body just like that—his cock positioned in that exact spot, and he begins to pound away inside of you.

It’s unlike anything you’ve ever felt before. You push his fingers back out, gripping his hand in both of yours—and hard—holding on for dear life as his tip continually teases and hits that most perfect part of you inside.

At first, it almost feels like your bladder is about to let loose, but God it feels so good. You thought everything else he’d done to you for the last few hours had been pleasurable? Wrong. This was pleasure.

You reach back, your palm planted flat against the headboard, your back arching, hips grinding down against his own, head thrown back. “Oh God, don’t stop. Please. Oh, Billy. Mm, yes, right there!”

He fucks you harder. “Oh, I’m not fucking stopping.”

He was worn out and his calf was cramping something fucking awful, his lower back needing a break, but this was what he’d spent all morning working toward. He couldn’t give in now.

“C’mon, darlin’, c’mon. Come on my cock, baby. That’s it. You’re so fucking close, I know it.”

You begin to clench rapidly around him and your eyes go wide as you take in shallow gasps of breath in anticipation as the feeling builds and builds and then…you scream. So hard you nearly choke yourself on calling out his name in ecstasy. “Billy! Yes! Oh God, yes! Ah!”

He begins to laugh, skin slapping against yours, groaning as he fills yet another condom to the brim, coming fucking hard. “Jesus Christ, baby,” he says as he finishes.

Finally, he collapses on top of you, the both of you heaving for breath, drenched in sweat, the sheets beneath you an utter mess. The room…smells of the both of you, to put it kindly. Sweat and cum and heat and something primitive. Sex. This was the smell of sex. Purely unadulterated.

He’s so weak, he can barely lift his head. So, he instead lies there, crushing you with his body weight, but having him covering you feels…nice. Secure. Safe, even.

You wrap one arm around his broad shoulders, your other hand smoothing back sweat-slick curls as you kiss the side of his head. A pulse still going strong between your legs.

He mutters into the mattress, his tone that of exhaustion. “So, you finally came that time?”

You giggle lightly. “Yes, I definitely did.”

“Good, because I don’t think I can take anymore. You’re fuckin’ insatiable. And I thought my sex-drive was bad.”

You burst out laughing. “Me? You’re the one who wouldn’t let it go.”

He buries his face in your shoulder. “Just like a woman to let a man do all the work without a word of thanks in return.”

You roll your eyes, then kiss the top of his head of messy hair. “Thank you, Billy.”

“You’re fuckin’ welcome.”

Currently, you and Billy are sitting in traffic at a red light while he blares the song Cherry Pie—so loudly it makes your eardrums hurt.

He gets especially into the lyrics when he bangs the palm of his hand against the wheel, his wide smile growing even larger, to the line ‘swingin’ to the bass in the back of my car!’.

A smile crawls onto your own face—he’d been like this all morning since you’d gotten out of bed—which you’re unsuccessful in hiding from him.

He gives you a toothy grin, sliding his hand up your thigh to the edge of your skirt, then under it, blowing you a kiss, even winking, and then you glance to the girls in the yellow convertible next to you, who seem to be admiring his ride. Him as well, clearly.

And you decide now is the moment to put everything that’s developed between the two of you to the test. You nod toward their car. “I think you have a couple of admirers!” You shout over the music.

He shrugs. “Do I?” He asks, shifting, turning back to the windshield, accelerating as he drives past them, never once looking in their direction.

When Billy stops for gas, he leaves you to fill the car while he goes inside to ‘get a pack of smokes’, but actually purchases another box of condoms, having used up all the rest of his—minus one—that morning.

When he returns to you, you’re just putting the nozzle back, and he comes up from behind you, squeezing you.

When you turn around, smiling warmly, he picks you up, spinning you around. You laugh, your hands holding onto his shoulders, looking down at his happy, smiling face. He finally lowers you back onto the ground, wrapping an arm around your waist, pressing your backside up against the pump as he kisses you long and deep.

When he pulls back, you grip the collar of his button-up shirt. “Someone’s in a good mood today.”

He nuzzles his nose against your neck and you giggle at the ticklish gesture. “I’m in a great fucking mood, baby.”

He walks around, opening your door for you and your heart melts. Had you finally, after all the fighting and running and pushing back against each other, reached a mutually happy place with one another?

You lower yourself inside and he leans down, kissing you again.

“Mhm,” he hums in approval, closing the door.

Once you reach Flagstaff, Billy has calmed. Minimally. He still occasionally blared his music—particularly when AC/DC’s You Shook Me All Night Long came on—and a selection of other music. He also had put his hands on you every chance he got—you were sure you had every line and callus memorized by now. And he’d told you a couple times how lucky he was. That he loved you.

He stressed how happy you made him.

You’d cried tears of joy at it all, in disbelief that he was finally treating you the way you’d always dreamed of being treated by another. You had truly thought just a couple days ago that you would never find love. Now? The love of your life sat right next to you.

Once the sky grew dark, Billy had pulled off into an empty lot, turning to you, head leaned back, hand once again slipping between your thighs. “Once the engine cools off a bit, I want to try something.”

You raised a brow, your hand sliding up his strong, tanned arm. “Oh?”

He’d nodded, leaning in toward you, slipping his hand into your panties, fingers playing with your clit.

He spent the next few minutes teasing you and toying with that sensitive bundle until you were soaking.

He pulls away. “So, not that I need to ask,” he says, tucking a lock of hair behind your ear. “But it’s safe to assume that you still want to see the West with me?”

You smile, nodding, looking at him adoringly.

He smirks. “I told you I always get what I want.”

You glance down to his hand, rolling your eyes.

And then he cups your cheek. “I meant you, baby. It was always you.”

Your brows furrow, eyes stinging, and then you kiss him again.

“Billy, if someone sees us doing this we could be arrested for…public indecency, or-”

He sighs. “Live a little, will you? C’mon, I’ve been dreaming about doing this since I had you in the driver’s seat. Alright, way before that. Like the first fuckin' day I put eyes on you.”

You look around the empty lot and jolt from nerves when you hear someone laying on their car horn off in the distance.

He reaches down to the hem of your dress with a raised brow, his own shirt already unbuttoned.

You sigh. “So help me, Billy Hargrove, if we both end up in jail-”

“Y’know what, putting you in cuffs at some point seems like a good idea, too, now that you mention it.”

You groan as he takes the rest of your clothes off.

Currently, you’re completely naked, laid back on the hood of Billy’s Camaro, your legs spread open, him standing between them. You watch as he unbuckles his belt, tossing it inside the car, and he then unbuttons and unzips his jeans, easing them, along with his briefs, down to his ankles, taking himself in his hand.

And then you sit up suddenly, hanging your head between your knees, groaning in irritation.

“What? Don’t tell me you don’t want to now. I've had enough of you given' me blue balls for the last week.”

You look up at him. He’d already gotten the two of you a room for the night at a local motel—recently opened, so for once you were to be staying in a nice place—so all your things were there. Including condoms. The only reason the two of you had gone back out was to get a bite to eat for dinner.

“We don’t have any protection.”

He swears, yanking his pants back up. “Fuck!”

He looks back to you, considering. “What if I use the pull-out method instead?”

You shift atop the hood. “Is that…does it always work? I mean, what is it, exactly?”

“I come anywhere but inside of you.”

“Have you done it before like that?” You ask, doubtful.

In truth, no, he hadn’t. He’d always used condoms. Always.

“First time for everything,” he says, looking at you from under his lashes, forehead creased, hands on his hips.

After a moment, you lay back down. “Okay.”

He positions himself between your legs again, dropping his pants. He leans over you, palm pressed against the hood of the car, his other hand guiding himself into you.

He grips both of your hips, gently fucking you, your feet planted on either side of the hood.

His eyes trail along your bare body and he grows impossibly harder. “God, you look so fucking hot right now. You’re perfect, honey.”

You scoot closer to him, trying to wrap your legs around his waist, so he grips you by your thighs, pounding away inside of you, skin slapping against skin, his breathing ragged as he watches your breasts bounce with each pump of him, your fingers clawing against the hood.

He angles his hips, trying to reach that spot inside of you that you both enjoy, and knows he’s found it when your eyes roll back, body slightly arching off the car.

He smirks, running his hands up your thighs, then back down, squeezing them. “Maybe I should see what my shifter looks like inside of you next.”

You clench around him, then look up at him with curious eyes.

He shrugs. “After you polish my knob first, maybe.”

You roll your eyes, whimpering. “You need help. Who even comes up with something like that?”

“Oh, you’re definitely helping me, sweetheart,” he says, thrusting into you again and again. “And you’d be surprised.”

You then wonder what it would be like: having him in your mouth. You’d not done that yet. Maybe an idea for when you get back to the room.

Your imagination toying with the thought gets cut short by a sudden boom of thunder overhead, lightning flashing not far from the two of you…and then it begins to downpour.

You try to shield your eyes from the sudden onslaught of rain, Billy essentially paying it no mind as he continues to work his body with yours in tandem.

You gasp and his head jerks up, smirking, thinking it’s from him, but it’s the cool droplets pelting against your hot skin, quickly cooling you.

“Now you’re really wet,” he calls over the sound of rain pounding against the car, laughing.

You begin to shiver. “A-are you almost done yet?”

He raises a brow. “Me? What about you?” He angles his hips yet again and you curse, saying his name.

“We’re not leaving until we’ve both come, sweetheart, so we might be here for awhile!” He moves his hand to your clit, his thumb beginning to rub fast circles.

You wrap your arms around yourself, the only part of you that now feels warm being that which is between your legs.

“Can’t we just go back and I try what you said instead?”

“What’s that?”

“You in my mouth?”

He stares at you for just a moment, then quickly pulls out, moaning as he finishes all over your stomach at the thought, the rain washing it off of you.

“So…how do we uh…”

He lifts your chin with his finger, putting your eyes on his instead of on his erection.

“Well, you’ll be on your knees either way,” he says quietly. “But I don’t know which would be easier for you: me sitting or standing.”

“Which would you prefer?” You ask nervously.

He’d just fucked you on the hood of his car right out in the open in the middle of a thunderstorm and now you were nervous?

He decides sitting would be the better option. You’d not done this before and if it took you awhile—which it likely would—he didn’t want to interrupt things because his legs were tired.

He sits on the edge of the bed, the mattress dipping in the middle from his weight, and you settle onto your knees in front of him, taking him in your hand.

He knows just from the sight of you like this alone, he won’t last long.

He’d thought before that he had pretty good stamina when it came to sex. But with you… Jesus, had it shortened.

You look at him with wide eyes, stroking like you’d done the other night. “Does that feel good?”

He quickly nods, throwing his head back, closing his eyes. “Yeah, honey, that feels good.”

You study it for a moment, then decide to just go for it. You lower your mouth onto his length and his eyes shoot open, hips bucking, causing you to gag as he hits the back of your throat.

You pull back, licking your lips. “Did I do something wrong?”

He runs one of his hands through his hair, worrying about coming all over you already. “No, just…try again. It was good, sweetheart.”

You lower your mouth onto him again and he curls his toes, fisting the comforter underneath him, holding on with everything he has, trying not to…not to…

You begin to bob your head, gently sucking, swirling your tongue around him, not really sure what you’re doing, but giving it your best shot either way. You rest your palms atop his thighs, then pull back, him slipping out of your mouth and you stroke him again as you take a breath, then swallow the length of him again.

“Fuck,” he curses, reaching up, gripping your hair, making a ponytail with both of his hands, holding it out of the way as he watches you.

“Oh God,” he mutters and before you can ask what’s wrong, you feel him shooting into the back of your throat.

You gag at the unusual feeling, pulling away, cum dribbling off of your chin.

You look up to him, silent for a moment, then, “That…was…” Fast? You don’t think you should say that, however.

He stares down at you, mortified. “What?” He asks, tone unreadable.

You need to give him a reassuring answer. You smile softly. “Different. I liked it. Did…did you? I mean, did I do okay?”

He could nearly cry from relief. You had no idea that he’d prematurely… He couldn’t even think of it.

He lays back on the bed, reaching toward the nightstand, pulling a number of tissues out of the box which sits on it and his hips jerk when he feels you suddenly take him in your hand again.

He sits up, wiping your face. “You were incredible, doll.”

You smile.

And he’d been worried that you would take too long, not that he wouldn’t able to last.

He lays back again, shaking his head.

Billy had excused himself to the bathroom for a moment afterward and you'd sat quietly on the bed, patiently waiting for him. He may've been your first in everything—minus kissing; you'd done that with a boy you couldn't remember the name of now, when you were seven on the playground—but you knew finishing that quickly wasn't...the norm. Not for him, at least.

If anything, though, it made you feel flattered. He'd enjoyed the sight of you like that in front of him—the feel of himself in your mouth—so much that he hadn't been able to hold back, or exercise practically any kind of self-control to last even a moment longer.

When he emerges, you speak. "Do you want to take a shower together?"

He smirks, mood lightening, embarrassment waning. "You don't have to ask me twice, darlin'."

"It's in my eyes!" You holler, wiping suds away from your face, the chemical taste also getting in your mouth.

Billy curses, grabbing your shoulders, holding you directly under the shower head, erection pressed firmly into the small of your back.

You'd been busy trying to wash your hair when you'd felt his hand slipping between your legs, fingers easing inside of you and next thing you knew, you were being blinded by a bit of Finesse.

You keep your eyes squeezed shut as his fingers work diligently against your scalp, getting all the soap out.

He then turns you around to face him. "Alright, open."

You slowly blink up at him, then scowl. "Don't ever do that again."

He shrugs, shampooing his own hair then. "Just thought your bush needed a little extra attention with the shampoo, too."

You glance down, crossing your arms, looking back up to him. "You're one to talk."

He smirks. "Never said I didn't like it."

You cock your head to the side, then smile up at him.

He raises a brow in interest.

And then you pinch one of his nipples.

He reaches up, pressing his palm overtop of it. "Ow! The fuck did you do that for?"

You smirk. "Just a bit of payback for all the times you yanked on my hair in class."

He leans down toward you then, causing your back to bump against the shower wall. He slips one hand down your waist, grabbing one of your asscheeks. "Now there's an idea. You want me to pull your hair, honey? I always wondered what it'd feel like wrapped around my fist."

You nearly make a joke, asking just how long he'd last that time, but don't want to hurt him.

He presses a kiss to your neck, then whispers, "Maybe I'll let you yank on mine, too, next time I have my head between your legs."

You take him in your hand, then, and he sucks in a sharp breath, watching as you get on your knees.

You look up at him. "Why don't we just start now?"

You swallow the length of him and he slaps one of his hands against the wet shower wall, cursing.

He reaches down, winding your long hair around one of his fists, vowing to last longer this time. He gently pushes further into your mouth, pulling against your hair, biting his lip.

You stare up, drooling all over him just a bit, then suck, pulling your mouth away with a 'pop', stroking him.

He closes his eyes, brows furrowed, using every ounce of strength he has in him not to come all over your face right now.

You ease back down onto him again, cupping the bottom of his shaft with your tongue and you gag when his hips jerk, sending him deeper. You pull back for a moment, taking a breath, then going back in.

Billy stares up at the ceiling, fist iron-tight around your hair. Looking at you is not a good idea at the moment. But the fucking sounds you're making aren't helping in the least, either. Gagging and sucking and—fuck—you keep doing this thing with your tongue that no girl has ever done before. How the hell are you so good at this?

You're not afraid to get messy, that much is clear. Then again, being already in the shower will make clean-up that much easier.

He prays to God the hot water doesn't run out anytime soon.

You hollow your cheeks, sucking harder then and he groans, saying your name, cock twitching in the back of your throat.

You wonder if you're doing alright, if he likes it—you still having not much of an idea of what to do—but from the way his entire body is tensed up, you take it as a sign that you're onto something.

You swirl your tongue around the tip of him, the taste somewhat salty, then swallow, head continuing to bob along his length.

Billy looks down finally, seeing that your eyes are closed, like you're enjoying yourself just as much as he is. "Fuck, angel. I don't know how much longer I can-"

You pull back, looking up at him, batting your lashes, stroking him in your hand. "Hm?"

He twitches in your grip, knowing he's getting closer.

After a moment of silence, you shrug, easing your mouth onto him once more.

You reach up, gently cupping his testicles and his eyes go wide when you gently tug against them. "Holy fuck-"

You hollow your cheeks.

"Jesus fuckin'-"

You swirl your tongue, taking him as deep as you can manage without gagging, moving your neck at a rapid pace.

And then he suddenly pulls your head closer to him, fist still in your hair, and he begins to buck his hips, cock slamming against the back of your throat, until he finally throws his head back, groaning, spilling down your throat as he finishes.

Once you've cleaned him with your tongue, he reaches down, gently pulling your hand away from his softening member.

You stand then.

"Did...did you swallow again?" He asks.

Wait. Were you not supposed to do that? Was...was that bad? You'd done it earlier, too, and he hadn't said anything... So you'd just gone with it, assuming that it was a normal thing to do.

"Yes, why? Am I not supposed to do-"

He smirks, shaking his head. "No, it's not that, sweetheart. Just...most girls spit."

"Oh." Your brows furrow. Sounds like a waste to you. "Well, I don't mind swallowing."

His smile grows wider. And then he leans down, muttering 'my lil' cherry pie', before kissing you passionately.

He then pulls back, lips still touching against your own. "Time to repay the favor."

He kneels on one knee, other leg bent, foot still flat on the tiled shower floor.

You lean back against the corner of the shower and he lifts one of your legs onto his shoulder and begins to lick, easing two fingers inside of you, curling them, massaging, sucking against your clit.

"Oh God, Billy..." You grip his shoulder, until he grabs your hand, settling it on the top of his head.

He glances up to you with a wicked smirk. "Fair's fair, sugar."

He goes back to teasing your clit with the tip of his tongue and your fingers clench tightly around his wet curls, pulling his face in closer to your core.

He chuckles against you, muttering into your mound, "needy little thing" before kissing you there and spearing his tongue inside of you.

You nearly slam your head back against the wall as he begins tracing his name on your clit, intent on finishing this time.

He grabs your thigh tightly, feeling you growing closer, and he begins to go faster. On the 'o' in his last name, you begin to clench more rapidly around him.

Not fucking yet, he thinks, making a swift 'v'.

You gasp, fingers pulling so tightly against his strands that he's sure you're about to rip a few out. He hopes you fucking do.

Just as he completes the last 'e', do you shatter, crying out, legs shaking, body trembling, his fingers working rapidly inside of your tight hot walls that're squeezing against his digits.

He slips them out of you then, gripping your right hip as he smiles up at you. "You know, that is one of my favorite albums," he says standing, smirking down at you as he cups both of your cheeks in his palms. "Slippery When Wet."

He crushes his lips against yours.

When the two of you laid down for the night, Billy was naked, as per usual, and you had decided to try it out as well, knowing he'd get a kick out of it, if nothing else. Besides, if your feet got cold, you could always just stick them on his back.

He turns onto his side as you slip under the covers, sliding his hand along your bare hip. He hums in interest. "Look who decided she doesn't like sleeping with clothes on anymore either."

You reply nonchalantly. "I can always put them back on."

He wraps a leg around one of yours, pulling you to him. "You won't hear me complaining. Besides, makes for easier access this way."

You sigh. "Go to sleep, Billy." You fight against a smirk he can't see anyway, as the room is pitch black.

"That's my name, please wear it out." A beat of silence, then, "Besides, how the hell am I supposed to sleep with you pressed up against me like this all night?"

"Who pressed up against who when they got into bed?"

"Oh, you were practically asking for it." He snuggles his face against your neck.

"How?"

"By looking like that."

You suddenly regret this decision. He was never going to shut up now. "You can't see anything. Now will you please-"

"Oh, I can see it right now. All I have to do is close my eyes, doll."

"Billy-" You jerk when you feel his erection poking you in the side.

"Woops, seems someone else is up now, too. Maybe he just needs a kiss goodnight."

"You're getting on my nerves."

"Mm, which ones," he asks, hand settling between your legs.

You sigh loudly in irritation.

You can practically hear the smirk on his face when he says, "That good, huh? And I've barely even touched you yet."

You flip around so you're on your side, facing him. You clamp your hand over his mouth. "Shh, go to sleep."

He licks your hand and you pull away. "Oh, Billy, that's so gross." You say, wiping your palm against his chest.

"My face has been between your legs, making a meal out of the place you piss from, and that's what turns you off?"

You groan, pressing your forehead against his pectoral.

He chuckles, wrapping his arms around you, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head. "Alright, I'll lay off."

You cuddle closer.

"But I can't make any promises for him," he says, pushing his hips closer to you, erection poking against your stomach.

You squeeze your eyes shut, not bothering with replying.

[ollie-lolly]

18+ Obey me cast smut headcanons

18+ Don't take my warnings lightly love~

most of Obey me cast x gender neutral reader

Warnings: My opinion, dark kinks, swearing, talking about smut in detail, minors don't interact

Note: Consent is important kids! In all these situations consent is used. Later side characters are not displayed here, since I am not at that part in the story. Reblogs and constructive criticism is always appreciated!

Concept: How I believe sex would be like with the characters! A lot of these are shared opinions by the Obey Me community.

Word count: 858~

Lucifer

-Hard dom for sure

-Will sub for you under certain circumstances

-R.I.P the bed

-Uses you as a stress reliever (with consent)

-Loves tying you up

-Daddy kink

-Brat tamer

-Secretly likes it when you act out

-Is willing to share you with Diavolo

Mammon

-Switch but with a sub lean

-Loves lap dances

-Wil try to use money during sex

-Strip games, especially poker

-Would love a sugar daddy/mommy lifestyle 

-Would love being the sugar daddy but would also love you playing that role

-Praise kink 100%

-Will want cuddles for a long time afterwards

-You are his human. No one else's, so sharing is off the table

-Just really wants to make you happy

-Loves watching you play with yourself

-Also is a brat in the sheets, if ya catch my drift

-Loves the pain <3

Leviathan (This being very long is my way of saying happy birthday to my baby boy <3)

-I also believe he is a switch with a sub lean

-Tail fucking

-Two cocks

-Underwear thief

-Loves being degraded and praised so…go to town!

-Needs constant reassurance so please give him some.

-A great way of easing him into it, is sexting and phone sex

-All the hentai he has seen definitely fucked his expectations up

-He also got like a couple of dark kinks because of it

-Hentai addiction, but will imagine you as one of the characters

-Is really into cuckolding, but is too shy to say anything about it

-When figuring out a kink you have to help him out since he is too shy to talk about it

-Does not last long in the beginning, but you can help him build it up over time

-There is a good chance that he is a virgin. He does masturbate a lot though

-PERVERT 

-You have to start intimate moments because of his insecurities

-That being said, when he is jealous that is definitely not the case

-Will want to have sex in the infamous bathtub

-Whether it is actually going to happen is up too you 

-But if you are willing to do it in said bathtub he will put tons of soft blankets and mattresses in there

-Role play

-When he role plays as a character he likes he is way more confident 

Satan

-Hard dom just like his daddy

-Uses you as a way to relive his anger and frustration which is often

-Always with consent

-Pet play <3

-Cockwarming while reading -Fucks you while reading

-Reads smut in public places

-Also fucks in public places <3

-The library is a popular pick, so uhh have fun? 

Asmodeus

-The definition of a switch

-This man has tried it all

-Certified sex god

-A sex toy collection larger then Diavolo's castle 

-Voyourism and exhibitionist

-Would be the most likely to share you sexually

-Especially with Solomon

-VERY experimental

-Very high sexdrive so goodluck!

-Has his little checklist in his room of where you have and haven't fucked yet

-Moans his own name

Beelzebub

-The definition of a service top

-Food play

-Good at head

-He is super sweet and gentle with you 

-Is obviously willing to share you with Belphegor

-2 for 1 deal!

-Will suggest doing it in at the gym or sport locker rooms

-Does not like to do it often, but will do it more if you want to!

Belphegor

-Switch

-Hard dom and power bottom 

-60% of the time will let you do most of the work

-A wild card you never know what to expect

-Might play with the concept with consent

-Knive play

-What i am trying to say, is that he likes his sex dark if that makes sense

-Has fantasies of kidnapping you with Beel

-Will use his powers to make you dream about sex

-Gets turned on when he sees you sleeping

-Will fuck you when you are asleep if you give him your blessing

Diavolo

-Soft dom

-R.I.P the bed and the floor, and.. you get the jist

-This man fucks and he fucks HARD

-Breeding kink 

-Please read my sugar daddy fics of this man to get a better idea of how he is like

Barbatos

-Also a service dom

-Will stop in the middle of sex if Diavolo or visitors need him

-He is a busy man, so don't expect a lot

-Tail fucking

-This man is a mystery, so he will definitely keep you on your toes

Simeon

-Switch?? Maybe soft dom

-We don't have enough in game material to make confident statements

-The only way you would get there is by a very very very motivated corruption kink

-Congrats! You made him fall from grace

-Will still keep a lot of his angelic traits when he falls. He will be gentle

-Secretly has a lot of pent up anger so good luck with that

Solomon

-Switch 

-He is a wild card man (just like Belphegor)

-You can never quite expect what is going to happen next

-Definitely puts his powers to good use

-If you are okay with it, he will invite Asmo to join in

-May or may not be your side hoe when you are in the human realm for a little too long

(Plz i need someone to write about this and tag me)

Started on and finished on: 8th of april 2023

[demonsword586]

Hades pp headcanons! (Only the nobles)

I am...SO FREAKING SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG! I AM IN MY FINALS MONTH AND I HAD SO MUCH TO DO AND I'M STILL NOT FINISHED!!! I am still writting but it's going slow since I don't have much time. In any case,I will be free in 2 weeks so this series should pick up the pace. Anyway here is more penis.

Barbatos

- Judging just from that bulge.... It's big,his balls I mean. The dick I presume is rather normal.

- 17 cm, 14 cm when soft.

- With how much time this man spends naked,you think he would have a tiny bit of tan. All over his body,his dick too since this man forgets what clothes are for when he sees the sun. But nope! He uses sunscreen with 120+ protection. You probably can't even see anything when he's around. The sunshine illuminates right off of him,making him as sunny as his personality.

- His dick is a bit on the leaner side. It's nice and slim like a rose stem. Suprisingly,he's circumsized! His tip is also a very gentle shade of rosy pink.

-It is a very beautiful penis,fit for a man like him and he's proud of it too! Unfortunatelly when you have a king as envious as Leviathan,it may be the best to keep it hidden when he's around. Barbatos had to learn this the hard way...

- Anyway the only thing that makes his pp a bit...unperfect,is the giant ballsack under it. A very pretty pp with big,squishy balls. Very squishable,but please don't play with them for too long. He's a bit of a tease so whatever you do to him,he will do it twice as pleasureable to you.

- Also,has a few small cuts on his inner thighs and butt. He likes to sunbathe around roses he grows and he's not the type of gardener to cut the thorns off. So he has to suffer the consequinces. But he's not too bothered by the little sting of those flowers when they bloom so beautifully and can still be fierce.

-But if you're sunbathing with him,he will be very careful to not let the thorns get you. He places you on top of him and holds you against his bare body. After all,you are the most perfect of all the flowers in the garden and he can't risk his rose to get pricked by thorns.

Glasyal La Bolas

- He stinks.

- This man is literary putting his pp into corpses. That thing smells and not the nice Beel smell but a smell of expired meat.

-He showers after...um....doing his thing,but this specific stench is quite hard to get rid off. In shame,he had to ask Orias for the strongest shampoo he knows off and 100% alcohol disinfectant from Paradise Lost. His king knows everything that happens in Hell,because of a certain invisible spy. You can imagine what horrors await him if his king found him walking around with a dirty willy.

- It's very cold too. No one knows how he does it but his body is naturally cold. Almost as if he's a corpse himself....meaning his pp can be quite refreshing in hot summer days!👍

- Now if you two are planning to have sex,berate him to take a shower. Even if he already did,make him do another one. I don't know about you,but I don't trust this man or his cock.

- Speaking of cock,we should talk about it. He is....large. Very large. He could have a shlong fight with Mammon if that ever happened. He is a centimeter behind Mammon though....still that thing is a beast.

-Some who got a glimpse of it said it is the stuff of nightmares. Not because of the size but the shape.

- He's thick,long and has a very unique tip. His tip is a bit spikier than most but only enough that it's noticable and very much pleasureable when he makes love with you. It's like his tip it designed by God to reach just the right spot in your insides. Not only that but his shaft naturally leans up when he's hard. It's like a pillar of monstrosity....If only you didn't know what he used that amazing dick for.

- But as amazing as it is,you need a lot of preperation to take him. It takes awhile for you to actually start to feel good and...he's not a very patient man. A night with him is like flipping a coin. You can either end up in heaven or in a hospital. Marbas as another big-pp owner always scolds him when you need to be healed up.

-Glasyal is not a monster though. He feels bad when you suffer because of his lust,though he will never admmit it straight. He does apoligise to you but not only with his words. He will put that evil mouth of his to good use and please his dying darling.~

Foras

- Shiny~

- He's...average in lenght. Nothing special,just a nice 15 cm pp.

-The color however!! Mm,tasty-looking. The shaft is a pretty,milky color with a pinkish hue. And the tip is just like his horns. A beautiful crystalic rainbow. It's a bit firmer than the rest of his cock. It also shines like a crystal when light hits it.

-He once skinny dipped in the sun with Barbatos and accidentally became the focus of gossip in Hades for a few weeks.

-It was a very sunny day and as soon as his pants fell to the floor,his member feeling the fresh air...Barbatos and a few by-standing devils got blinded by his penis. The sunlight shined right on his cock or more precicelly at his tip and blinded the eyes of many innocent devils.

-From that day onward he was rumored to have stolen a chip of the sun and now decorates his cock with it.

-The rumors ended up reaching his beloved king's ears...Let's just say Foras got a thorough examination by his idol while also threatened to be castrated by the envious king. Still the best day of his life.

-But do not worry about his shiny pp when you two are being intimate. He now always makes sure his foreskin is covering the tip. He will only show it once you two are in private without any natural light being close to it.

-Has a mole on his pubic area. Just a bit higher than where his member stands and on the left side.

- His cum...is of low quality.

-Mostly because it's invisible. You won't know when he's finished unless you check on his face. His face is very honest when it comes to pleasure.

- But yes,his seed is invisible. You can taste it in your mouth but can't see it. (If you randomly slip on nothing,it's his fault.)

- No hair. This man is as smooth as a baby's ass. Only because he thinks it would be rude of him to stand in his majesty Leviathan's presence while knowing there is pubic hair growing inside his pants. What if his king one day orders him to strip and be of service?! Oh...and for you too.

Orias

-....I fear him and his penis.

- He has a body of a young adult so...you can see why I am not sure if this is right of me to do...

(I will do Orias if people want but I am scared this could get....controversial.)