#i park and then immediately lose all memory of where i parked unless it home or work LMFAO

[acebytaemin]

if you thought i’d be joking abt 1) loving my car 2) having a name for it 3) never knowing where i’ve parked i can debunk all that with a single image

[trvbblemaker]

Be My Safe Place - A Short Story

WARNINGS: Abuse, anxiety, depression, homophobia, references to suicide, PTSD

This is one of the heaviest things I've ever written, but I'm enjoying it so far! Hope you like it too :)

Part 1

A knife is thrown at my head again and again. There are people all around me that could do something about it, but they don’t. They don’t care at all. 

The faceless people couldn’t care less about what goes on in their home. And that’s fair, considering the same thing happens there every night:

I walk into the wide, empty room. The faceless people are there. They’re always there, always ignoring me. 

I get a glass of water from an unattended bar. I’m thirsty. Always thirsty. 

I walk over to the only empty table. There are only 5 tables, and probably a hundred people in here. 

I sit down.

There is an indecipherable shout. I stand up, and then he arrives. 

My father walks into the room. He starts throwing kitchen knives at me. And I do nothing. I don’t scream or flinch. I’m used to this, and I know he can’t actually hurt me. 

Not anymore. And not when I wake up.

These nightmares have been happening for four months now. Almost every night, I am back in that room being attacked by my father. 

I shouldn’t act like I don’t know what the room is: it’s my high school cafeteria, but emptier. It is where I’ve had some of my worst memories, and it is where I still have to go every day.

I pretend to not care. I pretend to not shake every time I walk in. 

I pretend to be okay, but I am not. If I was okay, he wouldn’t try to hurt me every night. If I was okay, my mom wouldn’t have to hide the kitchen knives because they terrify me. If I was okay, we wouldn’t be spending thousands of dollars on anxiety medication and therapy.

Whenever I wake up from these nightmares, I don’t hyperventilate or scream to get my mom’s attention. I just sit there, staring into the darkness. Sometimes I turn on the light for a second, just to know that I am still in the safe place. 

Sometimes, I do wonder if it’s worth it to keep living like this—costing my mother lots of money for things that aren’t helping, anxiety about every little unnecessary thing, feeling like I will never be okay again. Sometimes, I wonder if I should just cease to exist. 

But then I think of my mother. She can’t lose another person she loves. So I’ll keep holding on, no matter how hard it is.

Maybe that’s another reason Mom hid the kitchen knives: she knows I’m barely holding on.

〰〰〰

The only good part of school these days is her. 

She sits in the back of every class, except for math, where our teacher placed her in the front because she’s a well-behaved genius and Ms. Anderson likes having her best students in front. 

aShe is quiet. She has friends, of course—I’ve seen her with them shopping or at the park. But at school, she floats around alone. Alone, but content. She is at peace in the quiet, unlike me.

She is kind. Someone asks her for help, she helps, no questions asked. The biggest bully in school could ask her to tutor them, and she’d agree with a soft smile. 

And she is beautiful. She has the kind of quiet beauty that you can’t truly appreciate unless you make a point to notice her. And I do. I notice her every day. 

Autumn Kurtis makes school worth it.

But it’s hard to be so interested in her when every time I feel butterflies in my stomach, I am reminded of why my father hated me.

Having a gay daughter was the final straw for him. After I came out to my parents, it was never the same in our house. Mom accepted me immediately, but my father stood up and walked out. Later, I heard him shouting at my mom. I’ll never forget what he said: “If I’d known you’d make a lesbian, I would never have—” 

I didn’t need to hear the rest of it. At that point, I shut my hands over my ears and locked myself in my closet, the only place I couldn’t hear them fight.

I immediately wished I hadn’t told them. My dad said he regretted both me and my mom in one sentence.

The next morning, I walked downstairs to get a glass of water, and he cornered me in the kitchen.

“Listen here, Quinn,” he said, grabbing my arm tightly. He’d never sounded so terrifying. “If you can’t figure out how to make yourself normal, we’re going to have a problem. You hear me?”

I was too scared to speak. I nodded. “Good. I will not have a lesbian as a daughter.”

He let go of me roughly. I ran up to my room, still clutching my water. I sat down on my bed and rolled up my hoodie sleeves. I had red marks on my arm from where he’d grabbed me. I stood up, but my knees buckled, and I slid down against the side of my bed. 

I wanted to scream, but I was terrified to make any noise at all. I put my hand over my mouth and sobbed. 

I was a mistake. He hated me. He would hate me forever unless I changed.

But I knew I couldn’t change. I would always be like this. So I would never be safe.

And he knew that. He always knew I still wasn’t “normal”.

[altruistic-meme]

AFTG fic recs

Hi all! I just wanted to share some of my all-time favorite fanfics for aftg, for no real reason other than I want more people to read them and send their love to the authors :) 

Under a readmore because it got. A little long. But please enjoy!

WIPs

Dangerous Habits by LovelyLittleGrim ( @lovelylittlegrim )

Andrew has run into problems while on undercover jobs before. None of those problems were anything like the troublesome runaway that is one Nathaniel Wesninski

Aka: the fic where Andrew is undercover as a hitman for hire and Neil is the guy who hires him. Things get complicated from there.

Undercover Andrew? BAMF Neil? Hitman AU?? Absolutely. I’m in love. The story is just *chef kisses*

Chapters: 8/9

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, past rape/non-con, Drake Spear (who is his own warning), Butcher Neil, 

--

Negotiations by elesary ( @elesary )

This is what Andrew Minyard knows: his brother is dead, killed by a petty Raven prince who has never learned to keep his hands off of Andrew's things. His brother's daughters are his responsibility, a job that is made infinitely harder when their shitty grandparents want custody. Nathaniel Wesninski is a liar, but he might be the only way to avenge Aaron and protect his nieces. All Andrew has to do is watch Nathaniels - Neil's- back as he carves out his own life and identity from everyone who thinks they own him.

Andrew has always been good at upholding his end of the bargain, has he finally found someone willing to uphold theirs?

This fic has got me fucked up, honestly. I’m emotional over it. It’s fantastic.

Chapters: 11/?

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, attempted sexual assault, Butcher Neil,

--

the upper hand by plantelty ( @plantelty  )

Shortly after losing his mother, Neil arrives in the small town of Palmetto, South Carolina, alone in the world and with an impossible plan to carry through.

At the age of eighteen, Andrew ends up helping a boy stage his own death.

-

Just two fucked up boys learning to trust each other during the course of a summer, but also: multiple references to songs, twinyard angst (Nicky tries his best), The Plotting of Neil Josten's Gruesome Demise, and shit hitting the fan in a variety of ugly ways!

The cliffhanger has got me on the edge of my seat, but it is 100% worth the read and the wait for the last chapter!! 

Chapters: 10/11

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Canon typical violence, 

--

The Butcher’s House by Fire_Bear ( @fire-bear )

Andrew thought something was odd with the house the Foxes had to move into after their Athletes' House had been burnt down. He just wasn't prepared for what was actually wrong with it.

For this was a house full of monsters.

Ghost story! Ghost story! Ghost story! I literally think about this fic every other day, it’s fantastic. 

Chapters: 6/?

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Warnings: character death (major or minor is unclear), injuries, 

--

Promise of an Unbroken Boy by elesary ( @elesary​ )

Neil is caught by the police with Mary's burning body and is sent to juvie in Oakland where he is assigned to share a cell with one Andrew Doe, who promises him Exy, if only Neil will tell him all of his secrets. With no access to tinted contacts and hair dye, he agrees, it's only a matter of time until he's killed after all. What does he have to lose?

But Andrew's found someone who knows what a promise means, and he'll be damned if he lets that go without a fight.

Ngl this is definitely in my very top favorites -- I LOVE the idea of Neil and Andrew meeting pre-series, and this fic just BLEW my expectations for that plotline out of the waters

Chapters: 14/?

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, Underage, attempted rape/non-con, canon-typical violence, 

~~~~~~~~~

Complete

The Nameless Monster by kanekicure ( @kanekicure )

Nathaniel Wesninski wants nothing more than to see his father dead and buried. But when his father promises him the title of The Butcher, Nathaniel quickly realizes that his destiny of following in his father's footsteps is closer than ever before.

So of course, when he gets forced to go undercover for the Baltimore police, he starts seeing what living could truly be.

-

Andrew Minyard is a newly recruited police officer for the worst precinct in Baltimore, who is dedicated on hunting down the notorious Butcher and his unnamed underling. But when Neil Josten is thrown into his midst as his civilian consultant; he starts to realize some things don't quite appear as they seem.

I love the story telling -- the secret identities, the plotting, everything.

Chapters: 14/14

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, Butcher Neil, implied/referenced rape/non-con, implied/referenced child abuse, implied/referenced slef-harm (I believe there is a scene that is somewhat detailed on this subject), some characters also get drugged at one point, 

-- 

that’s just something people say by nanatsuyu ( @theoctopusnods )

Neil makes the mistake of stealing the wrong car. Andrew makes the mistake of offering a ride to a liar. They both make the mistake of turning the whole affair into a road trip ‘home.’

Gonna be honest; the summary does not give a big idea as to what is in store and i am SO GLAD I gave this one a try so i’m telling you that you will be too

Chapters: 24/24

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Warnings: implied/referenced child abuse, panic attacks (somewhat grahic descriptions of)

--

The Story After You by kanekicure ( @kanekicure )

Andrew Minyard does not understand how Riko Moriyama landed Neil Wesninski.

How the snot-nosed, small dick, rich brat, second son of the Moriyama family who also just so happened to own the largest EXY gear and merchandiser company in the world “RAVEN” - had landed smart mouthed, quick witted, stupidly blue eyed Wesninski, was beyond him. Well, unless Wesninski was a gold digger, but Andrew doubted it.

-

Or; how Andrew Minyard says he doesn't get into messy situations, until he meets Neil and suddenly he is in the most messiest possible situation ever imagined in his life - oh and also, he might be becoming a homewrecker.

Ok I am behind bc I haven’t read the final chapter of this but!! I love the story, it’s very emotional and moving, and I love the characterization in it.

Chapters: 10/10

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Abusive Riko/Neil, abusive relationship, implied/referenced rape/non-con, implied/reference child abuse, implied/referenced self-harm, graphic depictions of violence, some descriptions of injuries/scarring, 

-- 

This Complicated Life by 5a5b5p5 ( @andrewsbutterflyknife )

“This is exactly why I don’t want you and Andrew to meet,” Aaron says grumpily. “You two would get along far too well.”

Neil grins. “I just like pissing you off,” he says, “It’s not my fault your brother does such a good job at it.”

—

Neil doesn’t expect much from his Sophomore year of college, but when he becomes a waiter at the Palmetto Bistro, his life gets a whole lot more interesting. As it turns out, maintaining friendships new and old as well as navigating an interesting relationship with the head chef of the restaurant—who just so happens to be his best friend’s twin brother—is a lot more complicated than he’d thought it would be.

A much more light-hearted fic than most of the others! Includes a secret relationship, and also chef Andrew >>

Chapters: 10/10

Rating: Mature

Warnings: 

--

When I Fade, Keep Me in Your Memory by demesh 

Neil Josten has a secret: he can flicker out of existence.

He can vanish with the turn of a thought; click his fingers, and suddenly he’s not there anymore. Invisible and untouchable, he becomes a living ghost.

Having promised his mother never to let his ability go, Neil teeters the line between faded and real, a person and an echo. He can’t risk getting hurt.

But then, one day, someone sees him when they shouldn’t be able to.

 A (flower-shop) AU about how a faded and lonely Neil finds it in him to become someone real.

Another fic that I need to catch up on ;; but anyway it’s amazing and I love Neil’s ability in it, it’s so well explained and well-written about

Chapters: 12/12

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Warnings: mentions of past abuse, panic attacks

--

12 Ways to Woo a Minyard by NikNak22 ( @knickknacksandallthat )

Neil is a math nerd who, by a stroke of dumb luck, falls into a group of friends that are the closest thing to family he’s ever had. So, when he tells them about his new mysterious crush, he shouldn’t be surprised how immediately they come up with a plan to help win them over. One they insist that if Neil follows it, he’ll have them falling for him in no time. But things don’t always go to plan ��� or do they?

Nicky wants to set him up with someone else. Matt and Jeremy are confused but supportive. Allison and Seth offer lewd suggestions, while Dan does her best to keep everyone in line. Jean and Renee know something, Aaron doesn’t really care, and Kevin just wants Neil to join the lacrosse team.

But one thing’s for certain – whether Neil’s successful or not, everyone’s got money riding on this.

The romance-trope-filled fanfic of my dreams. Sometimes you just need a fic of pure joy -- this is that fic. 

Chapters: 14/14

Rating: Mature

Warnings: 

--

finders keepers by moonix ( @annawrites ​ )

Andrew meets Nathaniel through a scavenger hunt app. As their team takes part in a hunt that sends each of them to creepy, abandoned places alone to solve clues and gain points, Andrew and Nathaniel begin a little treasure hunt of their own. The anonymity of getting to know each other in small increments, never meeting face-to-face, allows them a level of intimacy neither are used to. Meanwhile Renee’s friend Neil is acting weird whenever Andrew shows up…

This was one of the first fics I read for aftg!! And BOY what a great start!! All of the little pieces and parts that work together, and just the scavenger hunt itself is fantastic! (I also REALLY wanna know if there is an app like this out there because I would be down to do that)

Chapters: 8/8

Rating: Mature

Warnings: (these all come from the author:) “mentions of historical abuse in a mental asylum, mentions of suicide, mentions of murder and kidnapping, morbid facts, creepy abandoned places including a haunted house at a theme park with disturbing rooms, special appearance of a creepy clown doll, fatphobia and some introspection on body image/complicated relationship with food, mention of self harm scars”

-----

Scared to Live (But I’m Scared to Die) by Major_816 ( @major816 )

Neil Josten goes to the Nest for Andrew, but he stays for a lot more.

~

"I'm sorry Coach," he muttered.

"For what kid?" Wymack shifted. "You've got to give me something to work with here."

Wymack watched the thin traces of sorrow as paper exchanged hands and he was looking down at a contract with the Edgar Allan Raven's.

"I signed them Coach, I'm sorry."

~

The one where Neil doesn't come back from Winter Break.

It is VERY dark, and is one of very few fics that I have actually been almost unable to read one of the scenes, so DEFINITELY pay attention to the warnings -- both these, and the ones provided for each individual chapter. I did go through the fic to collect as many warnings as I could find in the chapter warnings, but be sure to take care of yourself.

Chapters: 36/36

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: rape/non-con elements, implied/referenced rape/non-con, discussions of rape/non-con, canon-typical violence, graphic descritions, physical abuse, panic attacks, descriptions of injuries (often graphic), psychological warfare, dissociating, psychological torture, physical torture, use of knives, alcoholism/alcohol abuse, pain-induced delirium, rape/non-con, emotional self-separation, suicidal ideation/thoughts of suicide, emotional distress (which sums up the whole fic and also me while reading it), handcuffs/chains used as restraints, referenced/implied abuse towards animals, vomitting, begging, excessive use of painkillers, drowning, waterboarding, physical restraint, mutilation of an animal, mild hallucinations, non-con drugging, sleep deprivation, starvation, humiliation, the Butcher, 

Also one of the first fics I read and 100% my absolute favorite fic!!! Which is adfjhsd a little worrying, considering, but it is what it is. Anyway. This fic absolutely wrecked me, and while it is technically complete, there is a sequel in the works! So! But I am so so excited for the sequel, and I am working on rereading this. It’s amazing. 1000/10.

[luv-leni]

Vampire!Cravity with a human s/o

Authors Note: Hey guys so listen the inspiration for this one hit me like a semi-truck. Which means this one is long(especially minhee’s) I mean like 2k words long. I’m very sorry 😭 please let me know if having this all be one reaction kills your eyes and I’ll edit it and split it into two separate posts.

Warnings: blood, dark themes, suggestive in minhee’s part if u squint, violence, death, and overall angst. There is fluff in here too I promise. This is all fiction!

Enjoy!!

Reaction under the cut.

Serim

A gentleman but a gentleman in a high position

He probably works for a big company

He wasn’t turned too long ago so his age isn’t a problem

He has literally no clue what he’s gonna do when his age does become a problem

Anyway this businessman is very friendly

He is charming and acts like he’s got nothing to hide

U meet him outside of his workplace maybe in a coffee shop

He’s dressed to the nines and super cute so u can’t help but stare at him

Of course he notices so he offers to pay for your drink

Correction he insists on paying for ur drink

This sparks a conversation, mainly about why he’s out in public in a three-piece suit

He talks about his work and meetings and stuff u aren’t really interested in

Before u can completely lose interest tho, his eyes capture ur attention

They almost look like they’re glowing

U interrupt him to ask about his eyes and he shifts uncomfortably and brushes it off

U being perceptive notice that maybe this well put together businessman isn’t all that he seems

He on the other hand thinks u are amazing for a human and he is attracted to u very quickly

look at you heart-stealer 😉

U two start dating for completely different reasons, u want to see the skeletons in his closet and he is falling helplessly in love with u

While snooping through his personality and life u find urself starting to fall for him too

Soon his secret won’t even matter to u

Serim is very good at keeping his secret so u aren’t going to find out unless he wants u to

So whether u find out about it or not is up to him

But he is a great boyfriend so u can’t complain

Allen

Ancient vamp

Allen would be the vampire who’s been around for like 400 years

When u meet he’s reluctant to be friendly with u

He’s old enough to have seen all the people he loves leave him

So he doesn’t want to get hurt :(

It would take some persistence from u but he’d eventually warm up to you

You’d fall in love with him and all his cool vampire features

His cold skin and glowing eyes

And he falls for u hard

He’s soft to u through the whole relationship because he doesn’t want u to think he’s dangerous

Even though out of all the boys Allen might be one of the more dangerous vampires

One thing is for sure he will protect u fiercely from anyone or anything

Jungmo

Jungmo lives as if he was still human

He’s been alive(well as alive as a vampire can get) for long enough to know what he’s doing but not long enough to lose his innocence

He still loves human activities

He exercises even though he doesn't need it and eats the foods he loves even though he doesn't need to eat

He goes to the park and plays with dogs

He meets u while playing fetch with a German shepherd

U just think he’s a normal guy who is very active

When u find out he’s a vampire u don’t really believe him

And then u see his fangs

He suddenly becomes much more intimidating

He does his best to reassure u he’s still the same guy u fell in love with he just drinks blood sometimes

now u get why he volunteers at the blood bank so much

Woobin

Sweet boy

Ruby blends into society very well as a vampire

He hangs out at coffee shops and bookstores he probably even works at one

U meet him there and he is an amazing gentleman

He doesn’t want u to know he’s a vampire because u are so cute and sweet and doesn’t want to scare u

he also doesn't want to confront the fact that he is going to live forever and u won't :(

But then u find bags of blood in his freezer

When u confront him about it he is so gentle and sweet that u really aren’t that freaked out

And he shows u his cool vamp powers and promises to never hurt u

A better love story than twilight

Wonjin

Flirt flirt flirt

He thinks if he’s gonna live forever he is gonna make it worth it

So he flirts with anybody and everybody

But when he meets u

He notices that u make him feel different than everybody else

Ur different, special

U make his undead heart race and he becomes addicted to u

He still flirts with u but he does it differently

He means everything he says about u

When u agree to date him he feels alive for the first time in a while

When u find out he’s a vamp the world gets 10x more exciting

U get a boyfriend who’s basically invincible and has cool powers

Jinnie is so relieved that u aren’t scared he wraps u in a big hug and picks u up with his vampire strength

A super exciting relationship with a very exciting boy

Minhee

Ooh mysterious~

Minhee is barely noticeable in everyday life

He rarely goes out during the day and works somewhere private so he doesn’t have to meet many people

When he does go out he blends into the shadows and is so sneaky that he could get away with almost anything if he wanted to

It’s lonely but he prefers it that way

He wouldn’t talk to u unless he absolutely had to

So maybe he works in a private office and u get hired as his assistant

He doesn’t want an assistant but being a big strong vampire doesn’t mean he can do everything by himself

Ur first day u notice how closed off and dark he is

But u are determined to be his friend

As time goes on minhee becomes intrigued by how determined u are (bonus points if ur good at being his assistant)

All the tension that has been building between u two comes to a head when u confront him in his office and ask him why he’s so cold to everyone

He gets this intimidating look in his eyes and says “people aren’t worth my time anymore” or something dramatic like that

You get upset because like?? Ur obviously worth his time 🙄

So to prove it u kiss him

He’s surprised but he wants it as much as u do so he doesn’t push u away

He thinks that maybe just maybe ur the one human he can let his guard down for

Then u guys make out on his desk

Hyeongjun

I think being a vampire would dull hyeongjun a bit

He used to be this cheerful happy boy but living forever can really take a toll

So he’s a little shyer and a little quieter as he moves through daily life

He never stays in one place too long because he doesn’t want anyone to suspect him

So he doesn’t have friends or partners for very long

Then he meets u

Ur kind and friendly and u remind him of who he used to be

So he immediately becomes ur friend

Something about u is different compared to the people he usually meets it’s like he’s drawn to u

Hyeongjun comes to trust u very quickly and ends up telling u his secret himself

U don’t believe him because vampires?? real?? uh huh sure.

Hyeongjun still has the same personality deep inside so he has to show off to u so he picks up ur couch with one hand to prove he’s telling the truth

Ur rightfully shocked and he is visibly nervous

He wants u to accept him so u think over all the good memories you’ve had with him while he stares at u with wide eyes

U love him so eventually u decide to accept him and keep his secret and he couldn’t be more grateful

U accepting him definitely bring out more of his cheerful personality

U two probably move away from the city into the countryside where no one can find u

It’s peaceful and beautiful and u get to spend the rest of ur life with the one u love

Taeyoung

That last one was so sad let’s move on to the cheerful stuff

Tae is a helpful boy!

He’s gonna live forever so he’s like ‘might as well make the world a better place since I’m gonna be here forever'

He volunteers literally everywhere

He does community service and works at nursing homes

The type to go around and pay for people’s parking meters in his free time

Like jungmo he volunteers at blood banks to get his blood because he doesn’t want to hurt anybody

He does all of this under fake names that he changes every once in a while so that way no one questions why somebody who should be like 90 looks 18

He meets u while helping out at an animal shelter

U come in looking for an animal to adopt

(If u don’t like animals then u come in looking for work)

Tae helps u out with the cutest smile on his face

He’s so cute that u ask him for his number

He agrees and everything goes smoothly for u two for a while

Once ur further in the relationship tho, tae’s secret starts to eat at him

He loves u and thinks u deserve to know the truth and he hates hiding things from u

So, like hyeongjun, he tells u his secret

He does it sweetly and holds ur hand so u don’t freak out

Accept this boy and his secret and he will treat u like a queen

He doesn’t like using his vampire powers but if it makes u happy then he will

He will keep u happy for the rest of ur life if u let him

Seongmin

My babysitters a vampire incarnate

He’s a baby vampire who got turned while in high school

He can’t really control himself so he stays away from people as best he can

U see him while in class and in the hallways and u think the poor boy is just shy

He doesn’t sit with anybody during class and eats lunch alone

U find him one day outside the school eating lunch and ask to sit with him

He hesitantly agrees and u notice how cute he is

U talk to him for a while and he isn’t very responsive or talkative so u ask him why he sits alone so much

Ur expecting usual answers like maybe he doesn’t have any friends maybe people make him nervous but no

He says that he has a secret 👀

Now ur interested so u ask him what it is

He says he's a vampire and ur like damn the cute boy is crazy this sucks :((

But then he offers to prove it so u say sure and he

Has fangs???

Those must be fake right??

U lean forward and touch them and prick ur finger on one

Nope they’re real and now ur bleeding 😃

Seongmin’s eyes go wide and he scoots away from u while u search ur bag for a bandaid

When the awkwardness subsides and seongmin stops looking at u like ur dinner, u start talking about this very unique situation

He tells u that he’s literally been starving since he was first turned and needs blood badly

And u just so happen to volunteer at a hospital

So u offer to get him blood if he promises to not eat u..he agrees obviously

And that marks the start of ur very strange high school relationship

Despite how strange he can be he truly loves u and takes care of u throughout school

U two are now inseparable

[seonghwanotes]

730 days | song mingi

pairing: mingi x reader

genre: angst

word count: 2k

a/n: i personally hate this piece so much, it hits a little too close to home but i wrote it decently and its still cringy gah dayum & there's no part 2 because some things are better off this way

You were in a relationship with Mingi for 2 years now and today was your anniversary with him. Lately, you could never get to go out with him on your monthly anniversaries since he was always busy with work which you understood and didn't mind about. So, you were exhilarated that you finally got the chance to celebrate a special day with him today.

You got dressed pretty early and drove to his house because you knew that he would be late or forget that you both had a date planned out since he hasn't texted you all day long.

While you were driving to his place, you turned up the volume on the radio and drove silently. The memories of when you first met Mingi flooded into your mind as you drove by the familiar street.

You fell in love with Mingi the second you saw him at a distant friend's birthday party. He was avoiding people at the party so it wasn't that hard for you to start a small talk with him. That night was definitely one of the best nights you've had, Mingi didn't even hesitate talking to you, in fact even when everyone had left, you both were still chatting away without realising it was late night.

You let out a small laugh as you drove into the street that Mingi lives at when you thought about the day he confessed to you. You had been talking to him everyday for a few months now and there was a misunderstanding between the two of you which resulted in a fight. Mingi being the gentleman he is, came to your doorstep late at night apologising and also, confessed his feelings for you.

And ever since, things have been going amazing between the two of you. Or so, you thought.

You reached the place and parked your car in front of his porch, turning off the engine before you walked to his doorstep. You felt nervous, as if it was your first date with him. Your hand reached the doorbell and clicked on it.

"Coming!"

You took a few steps back, knowing that his tall figure would accidentally bump into you by accident if he was about to walk out. Within seconds, he opened the door and came out. The smell of his cologne immediately flooded your surroundings, making you flinch a little, followed by a loud sneeze.

He was in the middle of locking his house door when his head turned to your direction, "Everything alright?"

You nodded, rubbing your nose. You managed to steal a glance at him, he was clad in a pair of light blue jeans along with an oversized white shirt, a denim jacket over it. You, on the other hand, wore jeans as well and a flowy blouse with your hair let down.

"You look pretty," He commented, making you realise he was done locking his door. You smiled at his compliment and returned one to him, "You look handsome as well."

"Where do you wanna go?" He asked, holding your hand as you both started walking. Everytime Mingi touched you, it would make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. This time, you didn't feel anything at all, not coming off as a surprise to you anymore.

"I don't know, I told you I didn't mind any place." You replied back.

"It's okay, it's better if you choose a place. I don't want to argue with you later about this." He said.

You looked at him with furrowed brows, wondering what he meant. Was he really going to argue with you before your date even started? That too, on your anniversary?

It took him a while to realise what came out of his mouth as he looked at you and tried to come up with an excuse. "I mean, I just don't want you to feel unhappy about it later."

You were obviously hurt from what he said earlier but you didn't want to show it to him, knowing that he would try to convince you to not feel this way. You hummed at his statement and looked at him, "Let's just go to McDonalds, I guess."

"McDonalds?"

"Didn't you tell me to choose a place?" You questioned him, starting to feel tired with his questions. You managed to catch him sigh and roll his eyes before he turned away, clenching his jaw.

Your relationship with Mingi was falling apart, that was for sure.

The first year together, everything was perfect and you had almost no arguments at all. You both went on dates a lot and took things up a notch. It felt like paradise whenever you were with him.

However in your second year, you felt like things started to lose its authenticity slowly. You began to argue with Mingi over the pettiest things and so did he. You've cried more during arguments with him than out of stress that now if you argued with him, you felt so numb and tired.

The relationship was getting toxic day by day.

"What's your problem now?" He finally asked, leaving a scar on your heart again with his blunt question.

"What's my problem?" You quivered, tears were starting to form in your eyes. You let go of Mingi's hand and asked him, "Why are you always arguing with me, Mingi?"

The look of fury turned into sorrow on Mingi's face as he heard your voice crack when you asked him that question. He knew that you had reached your point, you couldn't hold it in anymore. He had hurt your feelings to that point.

Yet, he didn't show any sign of pity towards you when he questioned you back. "Why are you like this? We've been fighting almost everyday."

You were on the verge of crying as tears collected in your eyes. "Why am I like this? Are you really asking me why I am like this? I've been trying my best to save our relationship every time it has been falling apart and you're asking me why am I like this? When are you going to realise that you have been screwing up our relationship, Mingi?"

He flinched at the mention of his name. You had never used his name before when you were together unless you were pissed or sometimes, jokingly. You had never used it when you were arguing as well. So it took him by surprise that his name left your mouth that day.

"Baby…"

Even him using pet names on you made you shiver, you knew it wasn't genuine anymore. He had stopped using pet names for weeks now, you didn't want to hear anything anymore. You looked at him in the eyes, hoping for him to tell you that it's okay and we would be alright. But he didn't.

Even though he put in more effort into your relationship compared to you, he was also the one hurting you the most that it was starting to drive you crazy. You loved him, you loved him with your whole heart and you didn't want to let him go. But in order for you to be alright again, you had to let him go.

Which resulted in you saying those words that you never expected yourself to say when you started dating Mingi.

"I think it's best for us to break up."

You both remained silent for a while, until you started sobbing and looked down. You hated this so much. You didn't want to show him that you were weak and vulnerable. You were at your lowest and you knew you couldn't hold it in anymore.

Mingi's hand reached to touch yours but you jerked away. "Please don't."

He immediately took his hand away and stood still in front of you. Seeing that he was quiet, you knew he was speechless and was thinking of what to say. You didn't want to look at him as well knowing that you would start to cry harder.

At the same time, you wanted him to ask you to stay. You wanted him to tell you that he was willing to fix things between the two of you. You wanted him to tell you that he loves you and he doesn't want you to leave him.

But he did nothing.

You didn't want to leave him, heck, it was stupid of you to even initiate the break up. but, you were not wrong. Mingi didn't even bother begging you to speak or wipe away your tears as he would.

You didn't want to assume things, perhaps he was hiding his pain as well as you did. Maybe it was going to take him some time to realise how fucked up the relationship was.

"Okay." He breathed out, a croak following along as he looked away.

You looked up at him, "Okay?"

"Yeah, let's break up." He said, making eye contact with you as you watched a tear roll down his cheek. You wanted to hold his cheek, wipe his tears and say that it was okay. You wanted to kiss him like there was no tomorrow.

But you didn't.

Instead, you started to cry. You covered your face with your hands as you cried in front of him. You didn't want to leave him, you knew very well you were still wrapped around his finger. You wanted to call him everyday, you wanted to text him good night and I love you everyday. You wanted to give him kisses every time he was sad after watching movies. But that wasn't going to happen.

You felt a pair of warm hands engulf you into a hug, hot tears dropping onto your blouse and Mingi held you tight for one last time. You dropped your hands and hugged him back, crying on his chest that you were starting to lose air.

You knew very well if you stayed in that position for a little longer, you would tell him that you were sorry and you would tell him to forget what you said. So, you pulled away from his hug. Mingi's eyes were red and puffy, he sniffed and looked up at the sky, holding back his tears.

You kissed him back for a brief second before he pulled away. His hand remained intact on your cheek, "It's okay Y/N, you don't have to apologise. I understand where you're coming from."

You couldn't help it. It broke you to see him in pain and you didn't want to see him in that situation ever. So, you opened your mouth to speak but Mingi stopped you by asking, "Can I kiss you one last time?"

Your eyes were glazed, you didn't know what to say. This was really it. This was happening for real and you had to accept it. You gave a subtle nod which led him to kiss you out of nowhere. You didn't move, you stood still as his kiss made you feel warm and content for one last time.

You looked down as he said that, shutting your eyes. You took a deep breath, telling yourself that it was okay and heartbreaks are normal. His hands took yours and he kissed them, before he talked to you.

"Just promise me that you won't give up on love because of what happened between us."

You had no words, you didn't even know what to say to him. You remained quiet for a while. He let go of your hands, "I love you Y/N, I always have and I always will. I'm sorry for hurting you all this while and not owning up to my mistake."

"I'm sorry too Mingi," Your voice croaked, you weren't able to tell the former cause it hurt too much in you to say it back.

"Just…" He paused, looking hesitant to continue his sentence. You could tell he wasn't going to continue his sentence knowing your answer, "Text me when you get back home."

After he said that, he walked back inside his house, leaving you alone at his porch - a crying mess. You got into your car and cried for a good 10 minutes. You wanted him to come out and kiss you, tell you to come inside and convince you to stay.

But you were both too egoistic for that. He knew you wouldn't bother his words, nor would you if he asked you to give him another chance. You looked up at his window, you saw his shadow through his sheer curtains and you could make out that he was crying as well.

No matter how much you loved him, you had to end your relationship before everything felt forced and fake. Before everything was merely a show. It was better to give your all in the relationship instead of giving only half or nothing.

So you drove back home.

[otonymous]

It’s The End Of The World (MLQC Headcanon)

Dear Nonny...

I say that now, Nonny, but the truth is that the ONLY thing I love more than smut is angst! Mwahahaha! 🤣🤣 That being said, let’s take a one-way trip to Angst Town!  Everybody got their seatbelts on?!  LET’S GO!!! (Please note warnings below before reading 💕💕💕)

Warnings: angst, explicit language, trigger warnings (mentions of speeding, near-death experiences and flashbacks, nausea & vomiting, insomnia, slight mention of possessive behaviour, workaholism, loss of appetite and weight loss, anger and violent behaviour (not towards other people though!)) and SPOILERS (basically up to chapter 24 in the EN server; includes dates and Rumours & Secrets for the boys) 

Gavin:

DEVASTATED.  This man is absolutely devastated.

Gavin has known you since high school and loved you since then

You were his dream girl — the one he thought had got away until his duties brought you back into his life.  He had vowed to protect you till the very end, had absolutely no qualms about giving his life for yours.  He made a solemn promise to himself that he would never lose you a second time

Until that fateful day when you invited him out for lunch at Lynn’s Kitchen on the grounds of your old high school

You order his favourites, spicy noodles and lemon tea; wait until his stomach is full before you open your mouth to gently broach the topic

“Gavin…I…”

A single glance at your face tells Gavin that something is terribly off.  He’s immediately setting his chopsticks down, asking, “What’s wrong?  You know you can talk to me about anything.  Whatever it is, I’ll help you—”

“Shaw.  We…we’ve decided to be together.  I know you’re not on good terms, and he did insist on coming today, but I thought it would be best if I told you myself…”

He cannot hear  

He cannot move  

And it isn’t until the burning sensation in his lungs catches up with him that he realizes he hadn’t even been breathing

Amber eyes, listless and dull, float from your lips to the wall decorated with Post-It notes just behind you, moving from one colourful slip of paper to another

“I hate it when people leave without saying goodbye.”

Gavin still remembers the loops and dashes of your handwriting on the Post-It note you had written so long ago, the way you dotted your i’s with hearts

And all of a sudden, he is back in his high school uniform, bloodied and bruised and free falling from the roof of the four-storey building

Except this time, he cannot hear the strains of a piano, no matter how hard he tries.  The gingko leaves around him flutter to the ground just before…

“Gavin?”  The touch of your hand on his snaps him out of his reverie.  He tries to force a smile and fails.

“I…I’m sorry.  There’s somewhere…I just remembered…I have to go….”  He hurriedly puts a few bills on the table — more than enough to cover the entire meal — and dashes out of the restaurant

Gavin hops on Sparky and just goes…riding for hours on end with no destination in mind.  He’s taken with an intense urge to go fast, as if his body were trying to outrun the feelings he doesn’t have the means of dealing with.  At one point, an overwhelming wave of nausea hits him and he stops at the side of the road, retching and retching until his stomach is as empty as his hollowed-out heart

He’s still thinking of you the entire time he’s MIA.  The last text from his phone is one sent to you, telling you not to worry about him and apologizing for the way he behaved back at the restaurant.  He’s asking if you’d still be okay with talking to him when he gets back, and of course, to contact him immediately if you need anything at all

He still feels you in the wind

Believe it or not, for a short period of time, Gavin actually develops a fear of flying: it reminds him too much of you, brings up too many memories of him holding you in his arms as you traverse the skies together.  He’s not confident he can do it anymore, partly because he thinks his Evol might suddenly give out when he’s high up in the air

The turning point comes when Gavin visits his mother’s resting place.  There, for the first time since you broke the news to him, he actually cries, and it gives him the strength to carry on

Let’s be clear: Gavin will never, ever be over you.  The two of you will remain friends though because Gavin intends to watch over you for the rest of his life (that is one promise he would never break)

With time, he gets used to seeing you with Shaw, even starts to relax a bit when he realizes that his younger brother is capable of protecting you

Someday, Gavin will marry — likely someone who was set up with him either by Minor or his colleagues (Birdcop would never take the initiative to actually meet somebody).  This person is absolutely smitten with the handsome officer and his gruff ways and cannot wait to start a family with him.  They would also have to be thick-skinned and stubborn enough to turn Gavin’s “no” into an eventual “yes”

And while Gavin would prove to be a loyal husband and doting father who would do anything for his family, a part of him would always, always, continue to burn for you.

Lucien:

How do you expect this man to behave when he’s lost the only colour in his life?

Lucien would never, ever recover from this.  He doesn’t want to.  The man for whom love was never meant to happen has no need for such an emotion.  He wants nothing to do with it unless it has to do with you

The professor’s world literally returns to being a drab shadow of blacks and greys — the rainbow disappeared when his little butterfly flew into the palm of another’s hand

“Do you love him?” He’ll ask you, dark eyes almost hypnotic in their intensity when he pierces you with that gaze

You’re ashamed to find that you have to think twice before replying that you do indeed love Victor

Ba-bump, ba-bump, BA-BUMP — Lucien breaks out into a cold sweat as his heart begins to race, face becoming pale as a sheet

His shaking hands are pulled into tight fists within the pockets of his lab coat.  He’s running his finger over the cap of his pill bottle inside one of them, not wanting to take them in front of you because in spite of it all, the last thing he wants is for you to worry about him 😭😭😭

Lucien nods, placid smile a mask on his face when he says,  “I wish the two of you nothing but the best.”

“Lucien!”  You start after him when he turns to walk away.  “We…we’re still friends, right?”

For what is possibly the first time in his entire life, Lucien can’t think straight.  His mind is a mess, logical thoughts tangled up with sorrow, hurt, anger, and the sense that the world could end at that very moment and he wouldn’t even bat an eye.

He takes a deep breath, composing himself before he turns to face you again: “Of course.  You can always come to me if you ever need anything.”  It takes everything in him not to fall apart when he lays a hand on the crown of your head, savouring the heat of your body for the very last time

In the days immediately afterwards, the people around Lucien better watch out as his ability to keep cool, calm and collected is challenged: he’s giving the side-eye to his colleagues at the research institute more often then usual, and Black Swan members literally want to run the other way when they see him coming.  If they thought Ares was ruthless before then they’d better watch out now…

As if it were even humanly possible, the professor sleeps even less now: if he’s not in the lab, he’s literally wiling away the hours watching old Hollywood films

Sometimes, he’ll place his hand on the handle to the door of your apartment, closing his eyes and doing his best to pretend that he can still feel your palm in his (he knows you’re not home.  You so rarely are these days…)

Unbeknownst to you, Lucien spends his weekends revisiting the places you used to go together: sitting on the same bench at the aquarium where you kissed him without a second thought, wandering to the theme park you ran away to as a child just to watch the carousel spin round and round, trying his best to keep a smile on his face when the kids at the orphanage ask him where his “pretty lady friend” is

Lucien actually has a kite that he bought ages ago, intent on fulfilling his promise to one day fly it with you.  It sits in his apartment still.  He can’t bring himself to dispose of it.

Gives you his pen, Iridescent, as part of his wedding gift to you.  “May it always bring you luck, wherever you are and…whomever you’re with.”

Regardless of where he is, Lucien will always be keeping tabs on you.  If Victor ever trips up, you can bet that Lucien will be there to swoop in and take his place

The professor will never love another person for as long as he lives.  That’s all there is to it.

Victor:

Throws himself into his work when you break the news to him that you’ve accepted Lucien’s proposal

“If that dummy can’t see that I’m the most suitable choice for her, then let her suffer the consequences of her foolishness.” — Victor will tell himself that, but don’t believe it for even a second

Victor has always been obsessed with working, but this is on an entirely new level, even for him: the man’s been missing meals (or taking them at his desk, at most) and doesn’t leave his office until close to midnight, most days of the week

Like a watch whose gears are irreparably damaged, the LFG CEO is broken on the inside.  He has to focus on work because he knows that if he stops long enough to fully consider the consequences of having lost you, he would never climb out of the depths of his despair

Even his dad and aunt become concerned, especially when they notice that he’s lost weight: “Victor, you have employees for a reason.  Delegation is not a weakness.”

His mind often drifts to you, especially when he’s driving.  There are many times when he finds himself absentmindedly heading in the direction of your office after work before he catches himself (the man is so used to picking you up that it’s become like muscle memory, in a sense)

Weekends will find him holed up in his attic space, fingers tracing over the uneven surface of the cup you had accidentally dropped and shattered, the pieces of which he had spent an entire night glueing back together

He shuts down Souvenir for a while: Victor cannot bring himself to step foot in the kitchen because he can’t help but see your face, smiling in rapturous joy to indulge in the caramel pudding he made especially for you

He spends his nights lying wide awake in a bed that suddenly seems much too big, wondering if you would’ve chosen differently if he took the time to tell you all the things he always thought were obvious: that he respected your fighting spirit, admired the brazen way you never gave up on the things you believed in, loved every single thing about you, even the things he seemed to disapprove of

His biggest regret: that he never had the chance to tell you that you were the love of his life

He often fantasizes about what it would’ve been like to stop time before you informed him you were choosing Lucien, to exist forever with you in a single moment when you made him the happiest man alive just by sharing your time with him

He still checks your Moments account religiously, murmuring “Dummy” with the faintest hint of a smile on his face to see your ridiculous posts, but he can never bring himself to reply.  Victor’s pride won’t let him.  He would rather die than let you know that each moment spent without you makes him feel like he is suffocating

Eventually, his worried family — especially his aunt — decides that enough is enough.  They force Victor to take a vacation while trying to discreetly set him up with daughters of other wealthy and prominent families

Victor is beyond annoyed at having his personal affairs meddled with like this, but is essentially strong-armed by his aunt, who turns on the waterworks and starts sobbing about wanting to see the progeny of her dearest nephew before she passes on or withers away from want of new blood in the Li family

Victor will eventually have to marry and have kids — he needs to have someone to pass LFG on to.  It will be a long while before he does settle down though; at one point, it’ll seem like he’s content to be a bachelor for life, married to his work

He will show up for your wedding though, and you can bet the most generous gift will be from the LFG CEO

“Try not to be such a dummy from now on.  I won’t be there to set you straight and your husband may not be as patient of a man as I am.”  Those jet black eyes are wavering with emotion when he reaches out to lay a hand on your head.  But he halts midway, awkwardly pulling back because he’s realized that he doesn’t have the right to touch another man’s wife so casually 😭😭😭

Kiro:

“Ahahaha!  All right, all right…you’ve got me.  You can stop playing around now, Miss Chips,” Kiro will say, hands held up in defeat when you tell him that you’ve accepted Gavin’s proposal

When he realizes you’re being serious, it’s like all the warmth and light has suddenly been sucked from the room

Those blue eyes go wide, the smile dropping from the superstar’s face.  For what seems like an interminable amount of time, Kiro just sits there staring at you, almost catatonic

When he speaks again, you’re so surprised you almost jump out of your skin: “Gavin…he’s that cop, right?  The friend you’ve known since high school?”

You nod and all of a sudden, it’s like the floodgates have been opened: Kiro’s grasping your hands in his, expression panic-stricken as his questions come a mile a minute:

“Was it something I did, Miss Chips?  I swear I’ll change!  I…I won’t eat junk food anymore!  Won’t even look at that stuff!  If you don’t like your nickname, I’ll call you by your real name, anything you want!  Or maybe it’s because my schedule is always so crazy?  I’ll cut back on my jobs, I don’t care about the money!  If you’re tired of running from the paparazzi, I’ll quit.  Just quit, stop everything — I don’t care, ok?  The only thing I care about is you!  Miss Chips?  Please don’t cry…I’m your hero, remember?  So please…please…”

A single tear rolls down his cheek — you have to look away or else your resolve would crumble

“I’m so sorry, Kiro.  I…I wanted you to be the first to know.  I wanted you to hear it from me…”

It’s like all the life has been drained from him; it actually frightens you to see him like that

“Kiro?"  You hesitantly lay a hand on his.  It’s almost cool to the touch.  Kiro gives his head a little shake, seeming to come back to himself

“I’m…I’m so sorry, Miss Chips.  I don’t know what came over me.  I didn’t mean to get hysterical.  God, what an awful way to react….”  He forces a laugh, but it is wooden and so goddamn heartbreaking to hear.  You almost wish he would scream obscenities at you instead

“He, Gavin…he’s a good man.  He’ll be good for you.  I’m happy that you’re happy, Miss Chips.”

The next day, Kiro drops off the face of the Earth: he’s MIA, no one can reach him

Everyone is panicking: his agent, Savin, and management, his legions of adoring fans all over the world, and most of all, you

That is, until he sends two text messages, one to Savin and the other to you, telling you all that he’s safe and not to worry; he’s just taking some time to work some things out for himself

In actuality, the only thing that’s happening is that Kiro is reverting back to who he originally was before you came into his life

His sun has been eclipsed by crushing sorrow and loss, the brilliance of your light and warmth forever taken from him and he is left in the cold shadow of solitary darkness

Kiro wants to be happy for you, and he hates that he can’t — this dissonance so disconcerts him that he’d rather not feel anything at all

When the superstar does eventually return to the world at large, there’s something about him that’s changed — Savin and the rest will be largely fooled by that ever-cheerful mask he puts on, but you won’t

Those blue eyes seem just a bit darker, the radiance of his being almost imperceptibly dimmed

Poor Kiro, loved the world over, would never love another person for the rest of his life.  It would always be you or nothing.

Shaw:

Hurt.  Angry.  Confused.

Shaw is angry with himself for ever believing that you and him had a future together; he hates that he saw the signs that you would always, always, always choose Gavin in the end and still continued to lie to himself in spite of it

He hates that he let himself become vulnerable by falling in love with you (Shaw sees vulnerability as the biggest weakness one could have, that’s why he’s always kept himself emotionally guarded in his dealings with people)

But for whatever reason, when it came to you, he just couldn’t help but fall (“Guess brothers are hard-wired in the same way after all, no matter how different we think we are,” he’ll say with a bitter laugh)

A lengthy and most unusual storm will hit Loveland City; expect an extended light show with lots of thunder and lightning

The boy is trashing his place, throwing whatever he can get his hands on: cans of Coke and Pepsi, dishes, clothing and books

He breaks the deck of his skateboard when he smashes it against the wall, bringing down a good chunk of plaster along with it

You won’t be there to witness the destruction.  Shaw will continue to front like nothing could ever faze him when you tell him that you’ve chosen to be with Gavin.  He’ll chuckle, brows raised as he bites on the tip of his straw, saying, “Whatever.  It’s your life.  Do what you want with it.”

Then suddenly, he’s standing up to leave, hand half-raised in goodbye as he makes for the exit without so much as a glance back at you.  

“Take my umbrella.  And don’t worry about returning it.”  

Those are his last words to you.  Not long after, you spy the handle of the black umbrella sitting in the stand near the front of the café (the only one there, since it had been bright and sunny out).  And suddenly, the clouds are rolling in to blanket Loveland City in grey, sheets of rain pouring from a sky cracked in half by a fearsome bolt of lightning

Shaw walks, letting cold rain soak him to the bones to take his mind off the ice that’s already started to freeze the blood in his heart

“Don’t cry…don’t let them f*cking see you cry…" he's saying to himself, over and over again like a mantra

Starts hanging out at the Live House more than ever, losing himself in the music and packed crowds there; he can’t stand to be alone right now.

When he’s not playing bass guitar as a last minute backup for the bands, he’s literally working on his thesis at the bar, sipping on his Coke and Pepsi blend (the staff know him so well that they’re pretty much cool with him doing anything at this point LOL)

STILL blows off every person who comes to proposition him for a good time

I’m sorry, but you know it’s pretty much gonna rain on your wedding day, right?  (The poor boy can’t help it, okay?  He is SAD, SAD, SAD!)

Much like his brother, Shaw will never really get over you.  You were, after all, the first person he ever truly loved

Would likely remain an eternal bachelor, only engaging in meaningless sex but never opening his heart to anyone ever again.  One lesson was enough for him. 😭😭😭

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

Thank you so much for reading!  Check out more of my work here! 📚

[thehangeddemon]

Waiting for a Tuesday || Self Para || September 14, 2021

☠ WARNING ☠

This work contains graphic descriptions of violence, gore, and torture

Reader discretion is advised

“More tea, sir?”

Xavier glanced up from his newspaper and gave the waiter a pleasant smile. He shook his head. “I’m fine, John, thank you. You can bring me the check as soon as y—”

“Actually, John. Why don’t you go ahead and bring us another pot of tea? Anything but English breakfast,” he added with a chuckle that almost sounded condescending. “I don’t share my son’s fondness for it.”

The waiter watched as a man, who had seemed to appear out of nowhere and was dressed head to toe in black, invited himself to sit opposite Mr. Rossmara. He’d said ‘son’, but he didn’t really look old enough to have a son Mr. Rossmara’s age. He didn’t really resemble him either but that seemed less strange somehow.

What was strange was the way Mr. Rossmara was looking at the man across from him. He looked…stunned, like he’d seen a ghost or something. But beneath the surprise was an indiscernible emotion on Mr. Rossmara’s face that John thought looked just a little like fear.

At the stranger’s expectant look, John collected himself and cleared his throat, addressing Mr. Rossmara. “…Sir…?”

Xavier seemed to collect himself as well, though far more subtly. He folded up his newspaper and put the pleasant smile back on his face, determined to make it seem like nothing was wrong. Only someone who looked very closely would see how forced the smile was, or how measured his movements were.

“Yes, of course. Does earl grey meet with your approval?”

The man smiled like the proverbial cat who ate the canary. “It does.”

“Very well. A pot of earl grey then, John.”

The waiter nodded. “Right away, sir.”

Xavier waited until John was well out of earshot before he spoke again. “Hello, Father. I didn’t expect you.”

Zagan let out another of those condescending laughs that set Xavier’s teeth on edge and dragged him right back to all his memories of Hell. “No, I’m quite certain you did not.”

“How did you know I was here?”

“My dear boy, it was hardly a mystery worthy of Sherlock Holmes. For as long as you’ve had your shipping business, you’ve come to San Francisco every Tuesday without fail to check in. And without fail, you finish your work just before teatime. By your own admission, this hotel has the best afternoon tea in the city. All I had to do was remember the name of the hotel and wait for a Tuesday.”

Zagan helped himself to one of the cucumber sandwiches that remained on the tray. “You’ve become predictable in your old age, my boy.”

Xavier had to fight to keep from shifting in his seat. Not any-bloody-more. He’d be changing that particular habit immediately. It didn’t suit him at all for someone outside his household to have such intimate knowledge of his movements, especially if that someone was his father. Such information was dangerous in the hands of a man like Zagan. It didn’t matter if it was only the day and location of a standing reservation for tea and cake, Xavier knew from experience that the less his father knew, the better.

Which was largely why he didn’t take any great pains to see him. Unless, of course, he was forced to.

“I see,” Xavier said, settling for an amused smile since a laugh was impossible. “I suppose I am becoming a bit predictable. Anyhow, it’s nice to see you, Father. Have you been well?”

“Well enough.” Zagan was watching him carefully, studying every nuance in his expression, listening to the tone and inflection of every word. Becoming familiar with anything that had changed since the last time he’d seen his demonic progeny.

Thankfully Xavier didn’t have to endure it for very long. John soon returned with their tea, giving him a reprieve from paternal scrutiny as it was poured. It was the only thing that would for the next little while.

This time it was Zagan who waited until they were alone again before he spoke. “So. Tell me. How is that shipping business of yours doing? And your myriad other ventures?”

The next hour or so was spent in what one could call easy conversation. They spoke of Xavier’s businesses, the sights he’d seen, the things he’d collected, the weather, the state of the world. Perfectly light, perfectly casual. At least from an outsider’s perspective.

From Xavier’s point of view things were far more fraught. Everything he said had to be carefully weighed, and there was a desperately thin line between revealing too much and appearing withholding, between looking at ease and projecting discomfort.

Having a conversation with his father hadn’t always been this difficult. In fact, just a few years ago Xavier would have been—and had been—completely comfortable not only talking to Zagan but spending entire days in his company. He’d even sought him out once or twice. But then, Xavier had had far less to lose a few years ago. He hadn’t had a child, a fiancé, staff that depended on him, friends he cared for.

He had all those things now. He had more than he’d allowed himself to have in fifty years, and the memory of how things had gone then still lived all too vividly in his mind.

Getting back to a point of comfort with Zagan after that hadn’t been easy, but he’d done it. There hadn’t been a choice. It was either swallow his pain, grief, and desire for vengeance and make nice, or tempt his father into carrying out his threats.

Sitting here now, Xavier felt much the same as he had then; trapped, resentful, and desperate to get away.

He had no illusions of being able to do that any time soon, however, even when his father finally asked for the check. After such a long absence, Zagan was sure to take up as much of his time as possible.

His suspicions were confirmed almost immediately.

“Come,” said Zagan, getting to his feet. “Let’s take a walk.”

Xavier remained at the table while his father stepped outside, indulging himself with a long, weary sigh the moment it felt safe to do so. It had only been an hour and he was ready for another five-year interlude in their relationship.

What had brought Zagan up from Hell anyway? Surely this visit hadn’t only been for tea and a walk with him. His father hated humans, hated looking at them and being amongst them. There had to be another reason and no doubt it was something Xavier really didn’t want the know the details of.

“Probably scouting his next project child,” Xavier muttered to himself as he pulled his card from his wallet.

Bill settled, he stepped out into the late summer evening and breathed deeply. There was a chill in the air that said autumn was well and truly on its way. Soon the days would grow shorter and the nights longer. His collection of coats would emerge from storage. Every hearth in the manor would roar to life with cheerful, welcoming fires.

He sighed again, longing for the comfort of home as he looked for Zagan among the crowd of people in front of the hotel. That expression of disdain was easy to spot.

“Where shall we go?” Xavier asked, approaching him.

“I don’t know how you can stand it.” His father’s tone all but dripped disgust. “Being here day in and day out among these…creatures and the stench of their cities. It’s revolting.”

“I’d rather smog than brimstone.”

“I think I prefer brimstone.”

Right. That nipped the notion of walking on the street squarely in the bud. If only that were enough to dissuade his father, but alas.

Fortunately, there was a park nearby.

Zagan didn’t say a single word as they made their way there, clearly preferring to stew in his distaste until they were well clear of anyone who might catch a snippet of their conversation. Of course, he hadn’t been nearly so averse to it back at the hotel.

Xavier would just chalk that up to the difference between a well-appointed dining room and a crowded street.

His father’s demeanor seemed marginally more pleasant as they entered the park. It wouldn’t be empty for a good while yet, but it was an improvement from the street. Hopefully it wouldn’t be enough of one to tempt him to stay much longer.

A few long minutes of not-quite-companionable silence passed before Zagan saw fit to fall into conversation again. The additional privacy meant they could discuss things that were far more relevant to his father’s interests than the weather or the goings on at a shipping company. Namely, any magic Xavier had learned, magical artifacts Xavier had acquired, and any kills Xavier had made.

The latter would perhaps prove to be a bit of a disappointment. Not only did Xavier kill less frequently these days, his choice of quarry had changed. The people that he’d once hunted were those he found interesting or amusing or intriguingly intelligent; only on the very rare occasion did he hunt someone who truly deserved it.

That was no longer the case. Lately when Xavier hunted it was only people who truly deserved it. He went for rapists and abusers. He went for people who hurt children, including and especially priests. There was immense satisfaction in knowing exactly where those people were going and what awaited them when they arrived, and even more in describing it in vivid, excruciating detail as they bled to death among the debris of a forest floor.

Hell was a far greater torment than anything he could visit upon them, and he was more than happy to send them on their way.

Zagan let out a loud, derisive laugh at that. “Are you indeed?” The old demon laughed again, putting Xavier’s back up and setting his teeth on edge. “My dear boy, you have been away from Hell too long. Who would’ve imagined? My son, the divine hand of justice for ne’er-do-well priests the world over. Never mind predictable; you’ve grown positively moral in your old age.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Xavier said softly, fighting to unclench his jaw.

His father gave him an amused look. “No?”

He shook his head. “No. I’ve merely…unearthed an intolerance I didn’t give sufficient regard to before.”

“Have you? Well.” Zagan chuckled and adjusted his sleeve, looking positively chuffed in a way that both infuriated and unsettled. “You never did like priests. Who would, having had your childhood? I suppose that particular aspect of your personality was bound to rear its head again eventually. Perhaps…it’s entirely appropriate that it should do so now.”

Xavier didn’t register the movement until it was too late. He only had a moment to feel his father grabbing his arm before he was whisked through the familiar vacuum of demonic travel, and even less to register his new surroundings before he was thrown bodily against something cold and unyielding.

“You unearthed an intolerance, did you?” Zagan’s voice, so casual and amused just seconds ago, now quivered with rage.

Xavier went flying again, this time into something that splintered beneath the force of his weight. Wood?

“And when exactly did you do that, Xavier? Was it perhaps around the time that you became a father?”

Again, back into the unyielding cold. Stone. “Father, plea—”

“Not that I can even tell, since I’ve scarcely seen the child—my grandchild—more than twice since the day he was born!”

Xavier cried out as he was flung for a fourth time, several bones breaking upon landing forcefully on a stone floor. There was something soft beneath him, but whatever it was, it hadn’t been enough to cushion his fall.

He braced for another hit, relieved when none came. He could still hear the echo of his father’s furious footsteps, however, which meant the torment wasn’t over. Far from it. The pleasant Zagan of earlier was gone, and who had remained in his place was someone Xavier was very, very familiar with.

Familiar enough to know that he had only a few precious seconds to catch his breath and orient himself.

There wasn’t much he could see from this position apart from the ceiling of whatever edifice they were in but, not wanting to draw attention to himself too soon—or move lest he worsen his breaks—he observed what he could by turning his head.

Said ceiling, high and crisscrossed with thick wooden beams, appeared to be constructed of the same stone as the walls and floor. Dusty chandeliers covered in thick cobwebs were hung every few feet, the candles in them long unlit. The same went for the metal sconces on the walls.

He appeared to be lying in the middle of an aisle bordered on either side by what he could only assume was the wooden something he’d been thrown int—

No. Not just wood. Pews.

Xavier struggled into a sitting position, heedless of his broken bones and desire for inconspicuousness in his rush to confirm his suspicions, to confirm what he already knew.

Panic rose in his chest as he saw the cross silhouetted in stark relief against the waning sunlight streaming in through the stained-glass window.

They were in a church.

Had this been any other time on any other day Zagan wouldn’t have missed the opportunity to mock and use his son’s fear against him. Xavier’s childhood memories of being harrowed and abused by his stepmother and local priest amused him to no end but on this day, he didn’t so much as comment.

He just stalked down the aisle toward Xavier and slammed him back against the floor with a flick of his hand.

“After all,” he said, voice dangerously soft as he crouched beside his son. “I can hardly drop by for a visit now, can I? Not with all those wards you have on the estate that threaten to annihilate anyone who comes in unannounced.” He almost smiled. “You’ve amassed quite the bag of tricks over the last fifty years.”

Xavier could only shake his head. “The wards aren’t—”

“Aren’t what? Aren’t meant to keep me out?” Zagan scoffed, giving Xavier a dubious look as he grabbed a handful of his hair from the back of his head and stood. “Dear boy, do you really expect me to believe that?”

He gave Xavier’s hair a good hard yank, ignoring his son’s cries of pain as he dragged him down the aisle and deposited him on the small set of stairs leading to the altar. “You didn’t ward against me fifty years ago only because you didn’t know how to. If you had, you would’ve done it in a trice to help keep that pathetic little slave of yours out of my grasp, but I’m sure that’s already occurred to you.”

Indignation fought its way in beside pain and panic, and Zagan noticed. His son’s emotions had always been pitifully easy to read, moreso when they ran as profoundly as he knew this did. The servant was still a sore spot even after all this time.

Zagan paused.

“Had you realized?” he asked, crouching again to run a single finger down Xavier’s cheek, those ancient eyes gleaming with cruel amusement. “That this year marks the fiftieth anniversary? Had you realized, my beautiful boy, that half a century had passed since you came so close to defying me?”

Fifty years of pain and rage and grief so rarely expressed churned in Xavier’s gut and pulled at his soul. That his father could speak so cavalierly of Maximus and his loss made him want to scream and be ill in equal measure.

Had he realized? How could he not, when every day for the past year and a half had been a battle against remembering? How could he not, when every day he walked halls and sat in rooms identical to those Maximus had once drawn breath in, only to remember that they had burnt to the ground?

How could he not, when dead leaves and rose petals and ash were still enough to bring him to tears?

The same tears that streamed down his face now. Xavier was powerless to stop them and even if he could have, he likely wouldn’t have. After what he’d done to Maximus, an acknowledgement of his grief was the least Xavier could give him, even if his father was the only one who witnessed it.

“Oh my, look at that.” Zagan stroked his son’s face again, collecting those tears and rubbing the moisture between his fingers. He tsked, shaking his head. “My dear, it’s been an absolute age since then. How can a measly little servant still cause all this upset, hm? There now.”

Zagan slipped one arm under Xavier’s knees and the other behind his back, lifting and carrying him the rest of the way up the steps as if he weighed absolutely nothing. He gathered Xavier close, even took care not to jostle him too much.

Such loving gestures were not uncommon for the old demon. There were times in Hell when he had been the absolute image of gentleness and paternal affection, when he had held him as he did now and given him a reprieve from the torture.

But more torture had always followed. Showing him affection was rarely meant to comfort; it was meant to torment.

“I’m sure you feel like the past few decades have been a trial, but you see, I don’t think that’s entirely accurate.” Zagan set Xavier down as carefully as he’d picked him up, petting his hair as that indignant look returned to his son’s expression. “Don’t misunderstand me. I don’t doubt you’ve suffered a great deal over your servant. I don’t see why you would when they’re so readily available, but I don’t doubt it. I just think you haven’t quite…put things in perspective.”

With of wave of his father’s hand, every sconce, chandelier, and candelabra flickered to life, allowing Xavier his first real look at the derelict church. Not that there was much to see. No one had set foot in here for a very long time, let alone used it as a place of worship.

But when he turned his head, Xavier saw something that made his blood run cold.

Until now he’d felt trepidation, resentment, emotional anguish. Only when he saw the lines of a demon trap scorched into the threadbare carpet beneath him did he finally feel fear.

“Father…?”

“You see, my dear, I don’t think you realize how easy you got off all those years ago.” Zagan shed his coat and rolled up his sleeves.

“Father, please—”

Zagan knelt beside him. “My own son considers rebelling against me, disobeying me, gives a servant pride of place over his father, and what does he have to pay for it? Absolutely nothing.” He unbuttoned Xavier’s suit jacket and shirt, undid his trousers. “My son defies his father and still he gets to keep his estate, his businesses, his treasures. His life. All these things my son gets to keep, he goes virtually without punishment for fifty years, and does he realize that? Does it occur to him how generous his father has been in his infinite mercy? No. Rather than show gratitude, he has the childish audacity to believe he is the aggrieved party!”

Xavier didn’t see Zagan move. There was just an awful squelching sound, then searing pain as his father, having pierced his torso with a bare hand, sliced it upward and gutted him like a fish from groin to sternum.

“Which doesn’t mean I haven’t noticed your efforts,” Zagan said calmly above the echoing din of his son’s screams. Casually. “You’ve been such a good boy, treating your papa to afternoon tea and accompanying him for a walk. But I have been far too lax with you. You see that, don’t you?”

He gripped the jagged edges of Xavier’s wound and forced them apart to another chorus of screams. “All those wards, the prolonged absence.” Zagan shook his head. “There comes a point where it all gets to be a bit too much. What’s that expression? Getting too big for your britches? I think you’ll agree you got too big for yours a very long time ago. What’s more, I think you’ll agree that it’s high time that you paid the piper.”

Zagan got to his feet and made his way over to the wooden table beneath the stained-glass window at the head of the altar. He retrieved a hammer, a covered metal bowl, and a set of railroad spikes and brought them over to the demon trap, kneeling again.

Xavier could only watch him, borderline delirious as his chest heaved and his wounds bled. He didn’t dare lift his head to look at the damage; he’d seen enough of his own insides in Hell.

There was a vague hope that his blood would break the demon trap and allow him to get away, but he knew it was impossible even as he thought it. Zagan had prepared for this.

There was no getting away, especially once the first spike was hammered through one of his feet, piercing shoe leather, flesh, and carpet as it was driven into the stone beneath. Xavier bit back another scream, only to give in as his father pinned his arm above his head and drove the second spike into his hand.

“A necessary precaution,” Zagan explained, moving around to repeat the process on Xavier’s other side, barely reacting to the scent of demonic flesh charred by iron. “To make things easier for both of us. Remember what I always used to tell you?”

The third and fourth spikes were driven into Xavier’s free hand and foot, rendering him not quite immobile, but significantly limiting his range of motion. He was left completely vulnerable to Zagan.

“Well?”

He turned toward his father. The demon was looking at him expectantly, warmly—a complete contrast to that cold smile on his face that never quite reached his eyes.

“The more you struggle,” Xavier began, breathing raggedly, “the more it will hurt.”

“That’s exactly right. Good boy.” Zagan bent to kiss his brow and set the hammer aside. “Now be a love and stay still for your papa while he works.”

“What are you going to do?” Asked in a voice too soft and timid to belong to a demon.

“I thought you might ask. You see, I needed to come up with an appropriate punishment.” Zagan reached into his abdominal cavity and tore out a chunk of his liver, placing it on the carpet beside him while his son howled in agony. The shock and blood loss weren’t enough to kill him, of course, but there would be a great deal of both before Zagan was done.

“It had to fit the crime, else how could the lesson be truly felt?” His stomach joined his liver, spilling its bloody contents as it hit the floor with a sickening plop.

Xavier hadn’t felt pain like this since Hell. He wondered for a moment if he was in Hell. That endless red sky and the ceiling of the church blurred together in his mind while the stone under his back became the rocky banks of that boiling river of blood. He heard a scream—or perhaps a thousand—but no longer registered it as his own.

When his father spoke, he heard it as only an echo.

“I mentioned taking your estate and your belongings but upon reflection, that wouldn’t be a practical solution to the problem. You could always acquire more, and really, what do I want with a bunch of wine and trinkets and land?” The other half of his liver followed, then his spleen and pancreas, all added to the growing pile of viscera.

Zagan turned to Xavier, whose screams had quieted to pained whimpers as he began coughing up torrents of blood. “No matter how you look at it, it would only be an inconvenience to us both. An inconvenience, not a punishment. That was when I realized that there was something I could take from you that would serve as an appropriate punishment.”

The old demon reached into Xavier’s body with both hands this time, ripping through sheet after sheet of connective tissue as he worked to tear out Xavier’s intestines. Messy work but very necessary, although he did find himself wishing he’d brought a blade to speed up the process. But that’s what happened when one was forced to move with haste; things were bound to be forgotten.

To Xavier, that process seemed to take hours. Perhaps it did. He couldn’t help but think it would’ve been kinder to just kill him.

His only comfort was that the shock setting in made his body go almost numb, a small mercy for which he gave profound thanks. It was liable to be the only one he got. He only wished he could go deaf as well, or better yet, fall into blessed unconsciousness so he wouldn’t have to listen to or feel the rending of his flesh.

More hopes he knew would be dashed.

Such was Zagan’s concentration on his task that he fell silent. Humans did have such a lot of parts, but he had gotten most of it. It would do.

He gathered the slippery mass in his hands, considering adding them to the pile before deciding to simply drop them on his son’s lap. They didn’t need to be removed entirely, just moved out of the way.

“Right,” he sighed, looking around at his handiwork while he gathered his thoughts. “Where was I? Ah, yes. Your punishment.”

Zagan scooted a bit closer and tenderly took Xavier’s face in his hands, smiling beatifically as he stroked his son’s cheeks and smeared that handsome face with blood. “I believe you’ve lived in poor dead Christian for quite long enough, my precious one. Don’t you?”

For the second time since this ordeal began, panic took hold of Xavier. Not just a trickle of it, but huge, violent waves that made his adrenaline surge and had him struggling against his restraints despite the burning pain of the iron.

Please, God, let him not have heard correctly. Surely it was the delirium, the blood loss making him think his father had said what Xavier thought he’d just said. Or if had said it, perhaps Xavier just didn’t understand his meaning. It could mean anything, everything. Too much. Was it to be his life, a return to Hell? Was it—

“Settle down, Xavier,” Zagan chided, placing his hands on his son’s shoulders. “What did we say, hm? The more you struggle the more it will hurt, and this is going to hurt quite enough without you thrashing about like a landed fish. Settle.”

“Wh-what is?” Xavier’s voice was a raspy, choked sound, devoid of its usual elegance. For all that he struggled—or tried to, before pain and fatigue forced him to stillness—it was a battle to get out every single word. “Fath…father. What are y-you going…?”

“What am I going to do?”

At his son’s jerky nod, Zagan smiled and stroked his face again. “Just what I said. You’ve been living in Christian Deidrich’s body for far too long and it’s time for a change.”

“But w-what—”

“I’m going to take you out of Christian, Xavier. You will be removed from this vessel and placed into a new one.”

Xavier looked at this father in abject horror for a few silent, eternal moments before panic and adrenaline flooded back in with a vengeance.

He began to struggle to free himself in earnest as his father’s words and their full implications sank in. Whatever he’d suffered so far—gut-wrenching reminders of the past, the sear of iron, the removal of his organs—it would be nothing compared to what he knew awaited him now.

At this very moment, even the full weight of what it meant to lose Christian as his vessel couldn’t hold a candle to Xavier’s fear.

This reaction pleased Zagan immensely, and unlike before, he was perfectly happy to let Xavier wear himself out. In this weakened state it was all he’d manage to do, which would only make things easier once the real work began.

Besides, even if by some chance Xavier did tear the wounds around the spikes and freed himself, he was still inside the trap. He wasn’t going anywhere.

Zagan hummed to himself, giving his son’s cheek one last pat before getting to his feet.

One by one, he brought candelabras over to the altar. Not many remained after so many years of the church having been abandoned, but they were enough to give him the light he needed. The larger ones were placed around the perimeter of the trap and the smallest just inside. A single candlestick was placed beside Xavier.

Had he been able to, Xavier would’ve knocked that stupid candle over and set fire to the rug. Something his father probably would’ve considered if he wasn’t so obviously confident that it wouldn’t happen.

Xavier couldn’t deny that he was right to be. Already he was exhausted to the point of giving up. Physically, at least.

“Father…” he wheezed. “Plea…please…don’t—don’t do this to me…”

“Ahhh, I see we’ve moved from anger to bargaining,” Zagan chuckled, returning to his son’s side. “I understand, of course. A new face will be an adjustment after so many decades spent looking at the same reflection in the mirror, but don’t worry, my dear one. You’ll get used it.”

Xavier shook his head, swallowing back more tears. He didn’t want to get used to it. He wanted to remain in his body. No matter how mangled it was, it was his, and leaving it would mean suffering beyond measure in more ways than one.

“The spell…”

His father nodded patiently. “Yes, yes, I know. You locked yourself in. An excellent notion, truly. After all, one can never know who does and does not know an exorcism rite. No doubt it would have spoiled your fun if in the middle of a hunt, your quarry dispatched you back to Hell.”

Zagan stroked his hair again. “Pity that your good judgement should have to hurt you now.”

Tears began to flow freely again as Xavier tugged at his restraints with all the might he had left. It was precious little. “Fat-ther, please…please d-don’t…please…”

“Hush now. Begging won’t save you, Xavier.” Zagan picked up the bowl that until now had sat untouched beside the revolting mess of entrails. “As I’m sure you’ve gathered from the very fact that you’re able to be here, the church we are currently in is no longer consecrated ground. Faith left this place…” he shrugged, “a century ago, perhaps more. But despite that, there is one thing I’m so terribly curious to know.”

He removed the lid. “I wonder…despite the decades of absent devotion…if this water is still holy enough to hurt you.”

“N-nononono wait, don’t—!”

An awful steaming hiss drowned out his protests as Zagan slowly began pouring the bowl’s contents into Xavier’s abdominal cavity.

“You’re making it worse,” he said, raising his voice to make himself heard over the cacophony of tortured screams and howls of demonic pain.

His admonishment fell on deaf ears. The moment the first drop of holy water had touched his mutilated insides, Xavier had begun thrashing about in a desperate, mindless effort to escape from the torment.

Exhaustion had no hope of stilling his movements, even if those movements caused the water to splash and slosh about and cause even more pain. This was beyond the physical, beyond the human. Short of an exorcism this was the greatest suffering that could be inflicted on a demon, and Xavier had the great misfortune of knowing that was precisely what awaited him next.

He screamed, he sobbed, he begged his father to stop. At some point he even succeeded in tearing free of two of the spikes. But still the ordeal continued and would until the bowl was empty.

It would continue even when the bowl was empty, because for all that Xavier had moved about, a good deal of holy water remained on and inside of him. As long as it did, nothing would stop the screaming.

“Shhhh, darling, shhhh,” Zagan cooed at his son, pulling out the spikes that still restrained Xavier’s limbs so he could turn him on his side and empty out the water. It had completed its intended purpose and was thus no longer required.

He eased Xavier onto his back again and picked up the candlestick. “Right. I would very much like to say that’s the worst of it over, but we both know that’s not the case. Tell me, should I bother asking where you carved it?”

Although agonized groans and broken sobs had replaced blood-curdling screams, Xavier wasn’t in any condition to listen to his father, much less respond.

“I thought not. No matter. I have a fair idea which rite you used, and I believe that particular one calls for the inscription to be placed on the spine.”

At last, the true reason for the evisceration revealed.

Zagan brought the candle close to the gaping void that was Xavier’s torso, using its light to find exactly where the spell had been carved into the bone—a slightly easier task now that the holy water had rinsed out most of the blood.

“Ah, there it is.” Zagan tried to make out the symbols to confirm his suspicions. “What did I tell you?” he chuckled, setting aside the candlestick. “Predictable.”

Xavier had been left even weaker than before. His chest barely rose. His skin, already pale from loss of blood, looked gray and lifeless. There wasn’t a part of him that wasn’t burning in agony. The dread and fear and grief he should have felt eighty-six years ago when the hangman’s noose had been placed around his neck fell upon him now, far more heavily than they would have then.

Still, he had to try just one more time.

With what little strength he had left, Xavier turned to his father. “Please,” he begged, the barely audible whisper ragged and frail. “Father. Please…please don-n’t. You don’t—don’t kn-now…” he gasped for breath, “…what you—you’re take…tak-king…”

There was a beat of silence during which Xavier thought, just for a second, his father looked apologetic.

“But I do,” Zagan murmured, taking Xavier’s bloody, tear-stained face in his hands. He stayed like that for several moments, studying his child’s features one last time. He loved this face. It gave him no pleasure to destroy it. “I know exactly what I’m taking. My beautiful, beautiful boy.”

He bent to place a tender kiss on Xavier’s forehead. “Don’t fret. The pain won’t last. You’ll still be beautiful, I promise. I could never take that from you. You’ll even look like your brother.” He kissed Xavier’s forehead again, his brow, his cheeks, allowing them both the indulgence of true affection for just a moment.

Perhaps it would offer some comfort in the days to come.

Sighing, Zagan took the candlestick again and made another examination of the spell his son had used to lock himself in. It was simple, but perfectly effective against exorcisms and other such attempts to dislodge a demon from their vessel.

The symbols themselves were spread across four vertebrae and, upon closer inspection, appeared to be burned into the bone rather than inscribed. He had no doubt the process had been rather painful; things like this always were.

He reached in and carefully tore the first vertebra from Xavier’s spine, ensuring he removed only bone and nothing else.

Painful, yes, but not as painful as its reversal. Not in his hands.

Zagan recited a small incantation under his breath, brushing his thumb back and forth over the symbols as if merely rubbing away a bit of dust. With every swipe the symbols grew fainter and fainter until they disappeared altogether, leaving behind nothing but clean, unmarred bone.

He held it up to the candlelight and examined it again. Pleased, he tossed it away and pulled out the next one.

Xavier, no longer strong enough to scream, could only groan and sob as his father ripped yet more parts out of his body, overwhelmed by fear and pain.

But there was another sensation as well; an odd, supernatural pull somewhere deep inside his being. It seemed to exist independently of the pain, and had nothing to do with what was happening to him physically.

It did, however, have everything to do with what was happening to him magically. This body, having been technically dead for so many decades, was dying again. In all reality it had already died again, and as his father methodically did away with his lock, Xavier’s hold inside his vessel began to loosen.

By the time the last vertebra was torn from his spine and the symbols on it erased, that hold was all but nonexistent.

“There we are,” said Zagan, sighing again as he smiled to himself. “Now the real work begins.”

Even if he’d been inclined to bother with an exorcism, it was no longer necessary. Given enough time Xavier would be forced to leave Christian’s body on his own, but Zagan wasn’t inclined to wait.

Instead, he reached into his son’s abdominal cavity one last time, thrusting through dead flesh and fractured bone and into the very core of him, physical and metaphysical, feeling around until his hand closed around what he sought.

Making sure to maintain an iron grip on his prize, Zagan ripped Xavier free from what remained of his moorings. When Zagan’s hand emerged, bloody and singed, it held a cloud of oily black smoke that crackled with electricity.

There were no anguished screams to mark this final parting, no sobs or desperate pleas to echo off the stone.

There was only the burnt out, mutilated husk of a body, the scent of sulfur, and a cloud of oily black smoke.

Zagan smiled at the smoke and released it, leaving it free but still stuck inside the demon trap, before pushing the husk out of the way to give himself more room to work.

What came next would require every last ounce of his will and concentration. This was magic he did not inherently possess, and if he could not see his vision clearly, if he could not believe in it wholly, it would not bear fruit.

He closed his eyes, steeling his will as he began to draw every bit of energy in the room outside his own toward him, no matter how small. The remnants of Xavier’s emotion, the electricity of a demon in true form, the lifeforce of the plants surrounding the church—all were taken and absorbed.

Even the candles were drawn in, extinguishing themselves one by one as Zagan pulled their heat and energy close, inserting his will and chanting ancient magic to manipulate the mass of energy to his whim.

And there, in the middle of the demon trap, it slowly began to take form. A single point of light that pulsed and grew as yet more light surrounded and encased it, becoming a womb for an old demon’s creation.

With every pulse, the air shimmered as it regained its charge, making Zagan’s skin prickle and burn to the point of pain. But still he did not buckle, digging even deeper and giving even more of himself as he watched the light become something at once both liquid and solid, something that elongated and molded itself until it resembled a human body.

Almost done.

He looked up at where the cloud of smoke hovered above his head. It would be cleaner to do it in one fell swoop. Faster. Even for a being as old as he was, keeping this level of concentration took its toll. Mere seconds could be the difference between success and miserable failure.

The new vessel was almost complete; the moment it was, he would draw Xavier into it and seal him inside. He had to move quickly, but gingerly, with the precision of a surgeon.

Zagan took a deep breath. Clenching one hand as tightly as he could to hold his creation in place, he used the other to draw his child down and guide him into his new vessel.

A different kind of light began emanating from the body as it was slowly given life. Zagan grit his teeth against the strain as it grew in strength, as he was pushed to the very edge of his limits by the effort of controlling so much raw energy.

No sooner had the last wisp of black smoke disappeared from view than the light burned out with enough force to shatter every window in the crumbling church.

Zagan fell back, utterly exhausted but brimming with triumphant hubris as he gazed upon his creation. His vision, made flesh.

It was perfect.

Zagan spent a few moments catching his breath and recuperating some of his strength, after which he got to his feet to gather himself. He adjusted his sleeves and went to retrieve his coat, brushing off bits of colored glass before slipping it back on. He placed the bowl and the candlestick back on their table, took a piece of glass and sliced through the carpet, breaking the demon trap.

And when he finally approached the unconscious, supine body that now belonged to Xavier, and watched as he drew his first breath, Zagan bent to place a kiss on his forehead.

“Perhaps now you’ll learn,” he whispered. “My beautiful boy.”

A rustle of wings, and Xavier was left alone in the darkness.

[diaphragmjellyfish]

Miguel Diaz fluff alphabet

A = Attractive (What do they find attractive about the other?)

Miguel loves your smile. He’s a funny guy and he thinks your smile lights up a room so he makes it his mission to make you laugh as much as possible. If you have some crooked teeth, he thinks it’s adorable. Also, looking at your smile makes him think about your lips which just makes him want to kiss you.

B = Baby (Do they want a family? Why/Why not?)

Yes, after he gets a stable job. He would love kids but he doesn’t want to be like his dad and end up abandoning his family so he would make extra sure he could support the child and you and makes a conscious effort to be there for his family no matter what. Asking about their day, being involved in their sports/clubs/hobbies, making snacks when they have friends over. He just wants to be the Cool Dad ™ and would probably try to teach them karate before they could even sit up.

C = Cuddle (How do they cuddle?)

He loves to have you sit between his legs and lean back against his chest so he can wrap his arms around you and make sure you’re always safe and warm. It’s the perfect position for movies, video games, deep conversations, baths. He will also often come up behind you at a party and hold you like this if someone is hitting on you or if you look uncomfortable or bored. He can whisper little jokes in your ear or kiss you on the cheek.

D = Dates (What are dates with them like?)

He loves fun dates. You both have always found fancy dinner dates really awkward. He likes something where you guys can move around, do activities, and just let loose. The go-to’s are usually mini golf, the arcade, the zoo, or just a nice picnic in the park. He often gets you little gifts before dates, though, like flowers, a stuffed animal, or a cool rock he found. His Yaya taught him never to show up for a date empty handed. And he’s a total gentleman, never making you uncomfortable or rushing things. Miguel keeps his hands to himself unless instructed otherwise.

E = Everything (You are my ____ (e.g. my life, my world…)

You are my sunshine. As cheesy as it is, Miguel sees you as the shining light in his life. You make everything better, whether that’s an injury, a bad day at school, or losing a fight at training. He knows he can always go to you and be distracted by your beautiful smile.

F = Feelings (When did they know they were in love?)

Miguel first knew he was in love with you when you met his family for the first time. They invited you over for dinner one night and he told you his Yaya didn’t speak much english, so you asked him to teach you some spanish so you could talk with her. It wasn’t perfect, you made lots of grammar mistakes and really only said a couple sentences to her, but the effort you made combined with the smile on Yaya’s face made him fall absolutely head-over-heels.

If you already speak spanish, it would be seeing you talk with his Yaya and joke around with her over dinner.

G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?)

The most gentle boy on the face of the Earth. Like I said earlier, Miguel keeps his hands to himself unless you tell him otherwise. The first time you guys kiss, he barely moves a muscle. You had to grab his hands and put them on your waist. Even now, when he’s teaching you karate, he refuses to hit or grab you, so you honestly don’t really learn anything lol and if you’re sick or sleeping, he’s like a feather, so scared to disturb you. It’s like touching a kitten honestly

H = Hands (How do they like to hold hands?)

All. The. Time. He’s not too big on PDA, except for hand-holding. This is how he lets everyone know you’re taken without seeming possessive or gross. Miguel will grab your hand at the mall, at school, while y’all are cuddling, at the beach, literally whenever you’re in arm’s reach from him, he’s holding your hand.

I = Impression (What was their first impression?)

Miguel’s first impression of you is that you’re this bright ray of sunshine. He’s drawn to you like a magnet. Your eyes, your smile, your laugh! And when he finally works up the nerve to say hi (Strike first!) he thinks his heart might actually melt. When you actually laugh at the joke he makes and hold out your hand to introduce yourself, he turns bright red and can barely speak omfg this poor boy. But luckily you think it’s sweet and keep talking to him.

J = Jealousy (Do they get jealous?)

He did at first, we’ve all seen how he acts with Sam and Robby, but you lay down the law. You have to tell him that it’s not cool, it makes people uncomfy, and then he finally starts to work on it. Now he’s better. He still feels jealous sometimes, but he trusts you and can control himself a bit more.

K = Kiss (How do they kiss? Who initiated the first kiss?)

So your first kiss. You were giving him The Look for like 10 minutes straight and he never made a move. He just stared at you. So you had to be the first one to actually lean in, but once you did, he met you halfway. His kisses match his personality. Sweet, gentle, and goofy, but with a more dominant, aggressive side if you know how to bring it out ;)

L = Love (Who says ‘I love you’ first?)

He did. After you had dinner with his family and he realized he loved you, he told you almost immediately. This boy just wears his heart on his sleeve. He was walking you home and when you got to your house and turned around to kiss him goodnight, he had a funny look on his face. When you asked him what was wrong he kind of went ILOVEYOU! Really fast and you had to make him say it again slower because you thought he had a stroke or smth lmaooo but once he took a deep breath and said it more clearly, you jumped on him and kissed his whole face and said it back a hundred times.

M = Memory (What’s their favourite memory together?)

When he first introduced you to Sensei Lawrence. He thought Sensei was gonna be super mean and make fun of you, but turns out you guys had a lot in common. You loved 80’s rock music, and responded to his sass with even more sass. Johnny almost couldn’t believe Miguel was able to get such a cool babe. You guys all had lunch after taking a tour of the dojo, and it was a super fun day! You all drove around in Johnny’s car with the windows down listening to Guns ‘n Roses.

N = Nickel (Do they spoil? Do they buy the person they love everything?)

Miguel spoils you in his own little way. His family isn’t as fortunate as others, but he still finds ways to make you feel special. Instead of a diamond necklace, he gives you a cool rock he found outside and cleaned up. Instead of taking you to expensive restaurants, he spends all day cooking with Yaya to make a nice picnic for you guys to have on the beach. And he saves up to buy you nice gifts for your birthday or anniversary.

O = Orange (What colour reminds them of their other half?)

Rose gold. You’re so beautiful to him and have this natural charm that everyone falls for. You’re so radiant and yet soft and unique. He just love love loves you.

P = Pet names (What pet names do they use?)

Sweety, sweetheart, baby, gorgeous, and Princess during more intimate moments.

Q = Quaint (What is their favourite non-modern thing?)

80’s rock music. He learns to love it through Sensei Lawrence. He even saves up to buy a record player so he can feel more connected to the past.

R = Rainy Day (What do they like to do on a rainy day?)

Build blanket forts, cuddle, bake cookies, he might even let you put makeup on him if you ask nice.

S = Sad (How do they cheer themselves/others up?)

Humor. He loves cracking jokes and lightening the mood. If you’re ever feeling down you know you can go to him and he will turn that frown upside down in mere minutes. Honestly even just being in his presence makes you happier. He cheers himself up by working out, taking some alone time to get his feelings out, and then going out with some friends or with you.

T = Talking (What do they like to talk about?)

Umm, karate! Duh lol the boy is obsessed with it. Also superhero movies, video games, his day, he’s honestly kind of a rambler. He can talk about anything and everything if he’s nervous enough. Let’s not forget the gas station scene in season 1…

U = Unencumbered (What helps them relax?)

You, dark rooms, white noise, puppies, linen scented candles, his mom’s cooking.

V = Vaunt (What do they like to show off? What are they proud of?)

His new muscles. Ever since joining Cobra Kai, he’s gotten pretty ripped and now it’s a struggle to get him to keep his shirt on. He worked hard for that body, he wants people to see how good he looks!

W = Wedding (When, how, where do they propose?)

After college, he takes you on a hike up to this ridge overlooking a lake. It’s fall, the leaves are changing colors, and there’s no one around. You guys have been holding hands the whole time, but his hand is super sweaty even though it’s like 50 degrees out. You guys finally get to the top of the ridge and he grabs both your hands and tells you all the things he loves about you. This boy basically recites your whole love story, and as soon as he sticks his hand in his pocket you know what’s going on. He barely even got the box out of his pocket before you were jumping on him screaming Yes! You guys fell to the ground and he stopped you so he could officially get the words out. You were both crying, it was very beautiful.

X = Xylophone (What’s their song?)

More Than Words by Extreme. You guys dance to this at your wedding.

Y = Yes (Do they ever think of getting married/proposing?)

Absolutely. Y’all marry pretty young, like right out of college. He knew you were gonna get married on the first date.

Z = Zebra (If they wanted a pet, what would they get?)

Iguana. He thinks they’re like little dinosaurs! He would name it Wade because we know he loves Deadpool.

[samthemarvelfan]

You Found Me: One Shot

Summary: Bucky Barnes always came home to you. What happens when he doesn't? Worse than that...what happens when he forgets you existed?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: A bit of angst and then the squishiest fluff. Mama likes her happy endings, y’all ;)

A/N: I wrote this in an hour and i have no idea where this idea came from lol enjoy! <3

The metal of the chair was as cold as the room. They liked to keep it cold to help him acclimate to being thawed out.

Again.

He sat with perfect posture and waited. What was he waiting for? He didn’t know. He never knew, he wasn’t the one in charge here.

“Soldat.”

He was greeted by a Doctor—at least he looked like a doctor...had the lab coat and everything.

The doctor held a folder out to the him. “Extraction. No witnesses. Eliminate as needed and return to base. Understood?”

Soldat nodded. “Understood.”

He walked with a purpose. He walked like he knew where he was going; like he’d been here before.

The streets were flooded with people. Why wouldn’t they be? It was high-noon on a warm autumn day in New York City.

He didn’t have to look unassuming here, the people didn’t care. He liked that about this place, no one bothered anyone else unless they had a good reason.

And even then, they often didn’t.

About two blocks from the park, the wind shifted, blowing East. Normal, expected; especially with the seasons changing. On his next inhale, he caught the scent of something mouthwatering. Something savory—no, sweet. Buttery too, something he could practically taste on his tongue. Something almost familiar.

He ignored it though, of course he did. His mind and body were on autopilot at this point. Sanction. Extract. Eliminate if necessary.

He looked at the sign that showed the location he was in the park, he was here. Right on to of it—on top of her.

Scanning the field, he spotted her immediately. She was stood on the bridge above the tunnel connecting the two sides of the park. Not an easy escape if she tried it. She’d hit water if she ran left, and the busy New York streets if she ran right.

She’s never going to see it coming...see him.

He rounded the bridge on the city side. If she ran, he’d rather the water be an ally in eliminating the target, instead of the messiness of a car.

Her back was to him while she talked on the phone. She was so unassuming, smiling even, then she laughed.

He froze. Soldat froze. It was like the air had been snatched from his lungs. She laughed again, and suddenly time stood still. His brain fogged with different images. All accompanied by that sound, by that laugh.

He stumbled. The Winter Soldier actually stumbled. “No.” He groaned, closing his eyes tightly and rubbing them with his palms. Another image, accompanied by a feeling. Warmth, elation, safety. Still faceless, but all real and true.

“I’m gonna go, I’ll see you tonight.” He heard her say into the phone. “I love you.”

His heart pounded. Loud, rhythmic thumping in his chest and ears. Another picture floats into his mind...

It’s you.

It comes in flashes at first, like the shuttering of an old film. In a bed, with him. You’re saying the exact same words while you stroke his beard. “I love you, Bucky. I love you.”

Bucky? Who the hell is Bucky? He thinks.

He’s a few steps from you now, four at most. Then he smells something else, something he recognizes immediately—it’s you.

Another chord struck within him, another memory invading the assassins mind.

“James, I cant do this anymore! You leave for days on end, and I never know if I’ll see you again.” You cried.

“Sugar, I’ll always come home to you. I promise.” He reaches for you and pulled you in closed, inhaling your scent.

“What if you don’t? What if they find you?” Tears coat your cheeks.

He shook his head, “No one can keep me from you. No one, I’ll always come back, I’ll always find you.”

You sniffle agains his chest, tightening your grip on him like you’re afraid he’ll float away. “I don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t, doll. You won’t.”

He shakes his head. “Stop it.” He curses to himself, but it was too late. You’d heard him.

It’s was like everything moved in slow motion. You turned around, eyes wide, like you were staring at a ghost.

“J-J...Bucky?” You call, almost in disbelief at your own words.

He was frozen, you—whoever you were, weren’t supposed to know him. He doesn’t even know himself, why would you?

“No.” He said roughly.

You shook your head and looked down. “They got you. They got you and now you’re here for me.”

“Yes.” What more could he say? 

You look back to him, piercing eyes boring into his, “Will it hurt?”

The soldier looked confused, “Will what hurt?” He asks.

You sniffled, “When you kill me, James.”

A punch to the gut. That’s what your words felt like...why? Why did they feel this way? You were a target, a mission. Just another mission.

He swallowed hard. “No.”

And he means it. It will be quick, he’d make sure of it. You weren’t made for suffering, and by the circles under your eyes, you’d been suffering enough.

You nod, accepting your fate, and close your eyes. Bucky takes a step towards you.

“Now, Tony! Now!” You shout, eyes still closed.

Before he knew what was happening, he was grabbing at the sharp pain stinging in his neck.

The last thing he saw was your face, then the world went black.

The beeping wakes him.

Looking down, Bucky sees the wires and tubes connected to the machine next to him.

A hospital. He thinks.

Scooting back, he groans as the muscles that surely haven’t been used for a while protest, and ache.

He tossed his head back against the pillow.

Remember. Remember something...anything.

“You’re awake.”

The melody of your voice brings an immediate calm to him. He sits up, ignoring the pain.

“Relax, you must be hurting. Here,” you held out the cup, “Drink this, it’ll help.”

He looked from you to the mug for a moment, hesitating.

You sigh, putting it in his nightstand, then placing a hand over his. “You’re safe here, Bucky. I promise.”

And he believes you.

“Wh-where am I?” He asks, a voice sounding like he’s swallowed gravel.

You once again hand him the mug, and he sips it eagerly. Tea. He thought. I like tea.

“You’re at a facility in Upstate New York.” You said calmly.

“Why...how did I get here?” He rubbed his eyes with his free hand.

“You needed help. You were being held hostage by HYDRA. Tony...Tony Stark helped me find you. He helped me save you, Buck.”

Stark. Stark. Stark...Howard Stark. December...cold. A crash, the accident...the blood.

“No one here is going to hurt you. They’re helping you, I swear it. They’ve been helping me look for you for the last five years, they never stopped.” Your voice was shaking now. “Dr. Banner developed something, you’ve been sedated for about a week. He’s hoping it will fill the gaps in your memory. A serum of sorts.”

Great. Bucky thinks, Just what I need, another serum.

“And you?” He asked softly, not wanting to upset you more. “Who are you?”

You let out a defeated sigh, he watched you, seeing the pain on your face. Before you could speak, he cut you off.

“I know you, or...my mind knows you. My body. I have all these memories filled with your face. Who are you...to me?”

You look a bit more relieved. “I...I’m...it’s hard to explain—“

James put his hand over yours this time. “Try me, Doll.”

Doll. It came out so naturally, and without inhibitions that it didn’t take a brainiac to know who you were. Not wholly, but he felt it.

He saw the goosebumps on your skin, “I’ve loved you forever, James Buchanan Barnes. There was a time you loved me, too.”

Bucky felt a warmth spread through his chest. It climbed his throat, invading his brain and bursting into fireworks of memories. All vivid and sparkling and bright.

Your name comes out as a whisper at first; so soft you truly didn’t know if you’d imagined it.

You nod frantically. “Yes. Yes, that’s me, baby. That’s me.” You sit next to him, and cup his face in your hands.

He closed his eyes tightly, willing the information to show up.

“Sokovia...they got me in Sokovia. I didn’t...I didn’t keep my promise.” James felt his throat tighten.

“Wh-what promise?” You asked. He opened his eyes and saw the tears pooling in yours.

“I didn’t come home to you. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Sugar.” James cried. For the first time in years, he was crying...feeling.

He knew he loved you. That much was clear. His mind was still in shambles and he knew that too.

“Yes you did. You found me again, I’ve been on HYDRA’s radar for years trying to get them to send you after me. I knew you were coming for me, so I had everything on standby waiting to get you out of there.” You were proud of yourself, he heard it in your voice. Hell, he was proud of you too.

Bucky sniffled, “My girl took down HYDRA. Damn, I’m a lucky son of a bitch.” He laughed.

Your hand cupped his cheek, the warms bringing so much comfort to him. “I love you, Buck.”

Bucky cupped your face in return, “I love you, too.”

He was nervous, but he leaned in anyway. The kiss was soft and gentle. The feeling of the two of you melding into one was more familiar than anything.

When you pulled away, Bucky kissed your closed eyes. Something he remembers doing a thousand times before.

“What do we do now?” He asked.

“Steve’s on his way. I have a feeling we’re going on a bit of a trip.” You say smiling.

Bucky smiles, grateful he remembers Steve. “A trip? Where to, Doll?”

You smirk and kiss his nose. “To see another old friend of yours—in Wakanda.”

[imaginaryari]

Welcome to the Show

Part One

The prisoner looks up as her least favorite cop comes into the interrogation room. Officer Warren has awards for rounding up the enhanced, people like Silver. He walks and talks like a man the people respect and fear. Talks to the enhanced like they’re close on first name bases and revels in the fact that he put them in their cells. What she would give to lay one finger on him. That’s all she needs. Unfortunately, her hands are gloved and bound because officer Warren also knows that. 

“To what do I owe the pleasure officer.” She asks.

“How would you like to get out here?”

It’s a trap. Silver knows this. The enhanced don’t get second chances especially not from officer Warren. 

 “Wasn’t I supposed to rot in here? Just as you said?” Silver asks.

Officer Warren gives her a sick grin. “I thought you would be interested in parole but if you aren’t...there’s plenty of you in here. “

The promise of seeing the outside world again would sway anyone.

“How can I trust you?”

Officer Warren beckons one of the guards. “Remove her cuffs.”

“Sir?”

“Now, please.” Warren orders.

Silver immediately rubs her wrists when the cuffs click open. The relief is almost overwhelming. She quickly reminds herself not to do anything stupid, no matter how satisfying it would be to knock Warren’s lights out.

-

“There’s a group of enhanced kids going around and robbing people. Messing with their heads. You’re fond of doing that so I thought this would be the perfect way to end your sentence.” Warren had said as he escorted her out.

Silver squints. Nothing about that story adds up. Robbing civilians while common isn’t a team effort especially if you can mess with minds and memory. A group would actually draw more attention and a tight knit one wouldn’t take the risk of losing a member to officials. 

Unless your Silver’s ex. Hm. Things are starting to make sense. 

“You’ve tried to catch them before.” Silver states. 

Warren doesn’t even look ashamed admitting his failure. “Physical powers are one thing. Mental ones are harder. But from my experience you can catch ‘em with a little trust.” He begins to walk away, leaving Silver at the gates. “You have three weeks.”

—

It’s no fancy hotel, barely a motel, but it’s a place and it’s furnished. Officer Warren had said it was hers for as long as it took her to finish her task. Silver won’t complain, before she was arrested, she was constantly couch surfing. Never out staying her welcome and never spending too long on the streets. She had made friends this way but contacting them was out of the question. Getting caught means getting blacklisted. A means of protecting themselves. Well, Silver had been thrown under the bus. Semantics. She won’t see them again and hopefully they’re doing okay. 

She shakes her head, never mind that. She has a job to do and extraordinarily little to go on. 

The neighborhood is different. She didn’t expect it to be quite the same after lock-up but the changes are more than jarring. New buildings going up, less of the spots her old friends used to hang. Silver is so sure the neighborhood has been purged of the enhanced until she decides to hit up one of the cafés. She stares at it; upset she can’t remember what it used to be and then enters reading the weirdly named drinks on the menu.

“Are you new around here?” another patron asks.

“Not exactly,” Silver says with a shrug, eyeing the stranger. He’s handsome even if he looks like he should have taken a sip of his drink before speaking. The bags under his eyes scream exhaustion but he still sounds awake. And happy about it. “It’s just a while since I’ve been round here.”

“Ah, try the mint hot chocolate. It’s a crowd favorite.”

“Is that what you’re having?”

He chuckles. “No…this is way too caffeinated for the masses.”

“Is the inevitable crash worth it?” She asks.

“Always.” He says as Silver is called next to order. “See you around.” The stranger says exiting. She thinks about the encounter for hours afterwards. The enhanced were still around even if they were muted.

—

She finds what she’s looking for the next day, right before the sun sets. It’s a large tent set up in a nearby park. Big enough to draw attention but lacking the actual necessities to pass as a real circus. No animal trailers, no confection stands. To anyone paying attention there’s no possible way it could have been set up so quickly. Definitely the work of the enhanced. 

Civilians flock to the tent with the promise of entertainment. Silver by-passes the line and taps a potential viewer on their shoulder. “You don’t really want to see this show, right? I can take that ticket off you.” The man blinks and then hands over his ticket. Silver quickly takes it and makes her way to her seat.

-

The spotlight lowers, illuminating what has to be the ringleader. He’s barely dressed for the occasion. Top hat donned but instead of a blaring red jacket, a black T-shirt with a tuxedo print and black jeans contrasting nicely with white sneakers. 

“Hello everyone. Welcome to your wildest dreams. I’ll be your guide. Whenever you need me you can shout More!” Silver snorts at the corny introduction but still applauds with the crowd. It takes a moment but she recognizes him. The man from the café with the over caffeinated drink. Interesting. So far he’s just the host, maybe the leader of this whole operation, but Silver can’t place an ability just yet.

“Please give a round of applause to our first act, Mirage, master of illusion.”

Silver is willing to bet he’s the one responsible for the tent. His set isn’t too extravagant; he just has smoke and card tricks. It’s what he does with them that counts. Shifting the smoke to look like a bird that soars over the crowd. It lands ever so gently on the empty seat in front of one of the viewers. The spotlight shifts to them, a young boy, and he offers a nervous smile, not prepared for the attention. The guest looks to Mirage who gives a cocky smile. “Blow it away.” He instructs through his mic. With a shrug he does. The smoke dissipates to reveal a real bird. A stark white dove. The young boy reaches for it face lit up in wonder, but it takes off landing right on Mirages shoulder. He pets it to prove its real and the dove seems to love it. However, it then dissipates into smoke after Mirage blows on it. That confirms it for Silver, the dude simply makes illusions.

“I need a volunteer for my next trick.” Mirage says.

He and More look around at the audience and More locks eyes with Silver. There’s a connection, a shock of understanding, and something else she can’t quite place before he says, “You, cutie with the hood. Would you like to help Mirage?”

Silver nods unable to break eye contact.

“Don’t be nervous, it’s just a simple card trick.” Mirage says, a deck of cards pulled from his pockets. Silver keeps her head down and her hood on as she walks into the ring. She wasn’t supposed to draw attention. More finally backs away giving Mirage the stage.

It is a simple card trick, with a lot of flourish. Silver selects a card, memorizes it, puts it back in the deck. Mirage is skilled making the cards seem to dance, shuffling and tossing them even pulling some from behind Silver. Sleight of hand can be learned, however,

“Is this your card?”

“It sure looks like it!” Silver says, and the audience applauds. Her choice in words don’t go unnoticed by Mirage. He smiles, like he just learned a juicy secret and gestures for Silver to return to her seat.

More passes her on his way back to the stage and gives her a similar smile to Mirage’s. She can’t help but feel she shouldn’t have done that.

“Our next act goes by Charlie. He doesn’t say much but he’s loads of fun!”

Silver immediately understands how the next act earned his name. Charlie dances out, encompassing Chaplin’s energy. He dons a similar top hat to More, and shirt except his is white instead. More comments on this with a laugh. “Clearly one of us has to change!” As corny as Silver finds More, she can’t say she’s not amused. Charlie looks More up and down, and then gets into a stance. He’s posed like a batter on home base and leans back and forth on his toes. He swings and More ducks, his top hat flying across the ring as if a real bat had hit it. The trick ears them impressed gasps and amused giggles from the audience. From Silver it earns a disbelieving stare. She’s never seen an enhanced like Charlie yet.

Charlie continues, his set like any traditional mime. Tripping over objects that aren’t there, pushing invisible walls, overexaggerating his facial expressions. Except Silver thinks, knows, he isn’t. There is a wall the audience can’t see. Silver can’t prove it, and wouldn’t even know where to begin explaining Charlie to officer Warren.

“Give it up for Charlie everyone!” More says shaking Silver from her thoughts. Charlie leaves the stage with the same comedic swagger and a wave.

“Now our next act is unfortunately our last. But we always go out with a bang! Please welcome to the ring, Star!”

With the snap of More’s fingers the lights go out. Another snap and they’re back, along with a woman sitting on a trapeze. She’s beyond beautiful, it could be the lighting, or the slight shimmer she has, but she’s captivating all the same. Her hair is pulled into two puffs and her smile dazzles the audience. Silver notes that there is no apparent netting beneath her, that should be concerning.

The music starts, a haunting melody punctuated by a bass that Silver feels in her chest. Star is flying above the audience on her trapeze. She hangs by her legs and lets her arms hang. If Silver focuses, she can see what looks like dust, her charisma spills off of her, entrancing the audience. She makes another mental note, three out of four isn’t bad. Maybe she wrong about him being enhanced. He could just be the fall guy if this all goes to shit. Authorities like Warren wouldn’t keep a powerless civilian. It’s smart. The doubt lingers. She knows what she felt.

Silver almost misses the end. Stars trapeze returns to the ring and she waves before letting go and falling to the ground. The audience gasps bracing for an impact that never comes. Star vanishes in a puff of smoke that settles all over the ring. The applause is stuttered out, the crowd is impressed and worried.

When the smoke clears the applause picks back up as all the performers are safe, taking their bows.

“Thank you all for coming!” More says. The lights go out. When they come back on the group is gone. Well, that’s one way to end things.

-

“Like the show?” A voice comes up from behind Silver. She’s just as dazzling up close and silver can see how she captivates the audience. The charisma wisps around her like smoke. 

“Sure did. Wasn’t expecting to be part of it though.”

“Yeah, More can be a bit impulsive,” Star says apologetically. She steps closer to whisper. “But his guess was right! You are like us.” 

“All of you? Special?”

“Yup!”

“What gave me away?”

“You didn’t immediately fall for my charm.”

“...really?”

“That and More caught you using your gift to get a ticket.”

“Also caught her struggling to order at the café,” More says rounding on them. “We should stop meeting like this.”

[hargrove-mayfields]

Just A Dream Away

Chapter 11/13 read here on ao3!

for @harringrovebigbang

~~~~

Their plan to rescue Billy is as follows:

Kali will take them to the place she saw in the dream circle, they’ll show up ready for a fight, though they’re hoping they don’t find one, and the kids are to stay at home with Nancy and Joyce unless they’re called upon, while they wait for the action preparing everything to do with communication and first-aid. El gets an exception from the otherwise nonnegotiable rule, in part because she refuses to let her sister go alone, perhaps too traumatized by already losing her father to leave her side, but mainly because she has the advantage of having had powers before.

Their window of opportunity to get Billy out without letting free any monsters is far too slim to chance bringing anyone else along on the mission, having such a large group sure to draw unwanted attention to themselves, and possibly get them all slaughtered without the luck and the superpowers they had before on their side.

Steve hands Robin the keys to his car, silently telling her she should be the one to drive them. He’s too on edge to do it himself, his emotions so shot with each new discovery they’ve made tonight he’s sure he’d crash it, and Kali and El are busy acting as their navigators.

Everyone in this car knows about Billy and Steve, so they don’t have to be discreet about the fact that the place they’re going, as Kali described it ‘Billy’s lovers home,’ is basically to Steve’s backyard. He wonders, the nearer they get to that overly familiar place, how long Billy has been wandering in the area, and how much sooner he could have found him if he wasn’t at work or with Robin all the time, but he tries not to think about that, focusing instead on saving him now.

They park near his house, Steve getting out first and popping the trunk to get the nail bat, which he kept in his car for emergencies and honestly just because he didn’t know what else to do with it, while the girls look for flashlights in the glove box.

Steve closes the trunk, it’s metal clang echoing off the trees more than usual in the strangely silent night, his weapon thrown casually over his shoulder, “Are we ready?”

Kali and El nod, identical looks of dedication and bravery in their features. Robin’s answer is lighter, starting with a tired sigh before her equally as worn response, “As we’ll ever be.”

Steve leads the way because he knows these woods, grew up playing in them with all the other snot-nosed brats in the area who would never have to know the truth about what lurked in the outskirts of their childhood memories. He wishes he was still that kid, who was clueless about

After a while of wandering, the directions from Kali seeming to lead them only to fallen down trees and a frozen creek, Steve wonders aloud, “You said he’s looking for a gate?”

“Yes. There’s one in these woods even. Before, there was a girl taken in your backyard, correct?”

Steve frowns, answering, unsure how Kali knows that or what the relevance is, “Uh. Yeah?”

“I believe the gate was created in the woods by the monster when it took her through. Billy must have found or been led to that old, now sealed gate, and is trying to escape through it now.”

“How do we find it though?”

“I know. I saw it.” El chimes in, with her powers gone, her other natural senses like memory stronger.

“You saw it? When was this?” Kali asks, a gentle coach for her apprehensive sister, who explains, “Before. When Will was lost.”

“So it’s been awhile. Do you still remember the way?”

El nods, and Kali smiles encouragingly, “Then take us there, Jane.”

The woods seem so much bigger when it’s dark and Steve is looking for his dying boyfriend, the tension and frustration as they pass by endless rows of trees in the freezing cold air with no signs of Billy draining away the hope he’d been building, and making him irritated with their seemingly unhurried pace.

Finally, once Steve feels like he’s going to panic, El whispers, pointing to a dead tree, a faint red glow emanating from under its bark, “There.”

Putting her arm out across Robin's chest and holding El’s hand to keep the group from moving further, Kali warns, “Stay away from it. It’s been used recently.”

But Steve ignores her warning, ignoring the threat of whatever was in there and approaching the tree, “That means Billy could be out here.”

He disturbs the quiet they were moving slowly to try to preserve, calling out, “Bills? Billy baby, where are you?”

A faint growl from an unseen monster sends shivers up the spines of the three girls, but Steve is still too distracted, his rational sense too entrapped in the throes of panic to notice the sound, and, as he is holding heir only weapon, Robin hisses at him, “Steve, I love you, but please shut up. There could be a monster out here.”

“No. Billy is out here too, and I have to help him, Rob.” He insists, turning and “Billy? Are you out here? Please!”

“Steve, just listen to me for five seconds!”

“What is it, Robin!”

She stays silent, gesturing to the empty air, and Steve is about to ask what he’s supposed to be looking at when he hears the snarls and chitters she must have been hearing, his stomach dropping at the realization that there was something close by, “Oh shit..”

“Yeah, oh shit!” Robin whisper-yells, “What the hell are we going to do now, dingus?”

Steve bites his lip, has to think hard about how to fix this mistake he’d made, “Kali, do you feel Billy?”

She nods seriously, “I do, and I can reach him and guide him from here, but I will only do it once it’s safe.”

“Then I’ll keep the monster held off. You just stay here and start looking.” He plots, and Kali nods again, doesn’t like taking orders but recognizes the urgency and danger of the situation is to blame for Steve’s bluntness with her.

Robin also knows Steve well enough to know what he means by that declaration, and she instantly insists, her town laced with desperation, “I’m coming with you.”

“We’ve only got one nail bat, Robs. Stay here with El and Kali. I want Billy to see a familiar face when he gets out anyways.”

Robin’s lip quivers slightly, and she throws her arms around Steve, despite the awkward one armed hug he has to give her because of the bat. She mumbles into his shirt, “I love you, Stevie. Please be safe.” She chuckles wetly, tears obvious in her voice, “I’ll kill you if you die out there.”

Holding her tight, but not letting his emotions through, not yet anyways, he assures her, “Love you too, Robs. I’ll be careful, I promise.”

Breaking the hug with Robin, he waves to the sisters and sets off from the group, waiting until he can’t see them anymore to call, “Hey!! Come out and get me, you big asshole!”

When there’s nothing but the distant sound of rustling, like it heard him but won’t come, he has the sense that the monster is aware of both groups, and is deciding which to go after, so Steve pricks the his finger on the end of the sharpest nail on purpose, hoping his blood will attract the monster more than Kali’s, “That’s right, come this way and fight me!”

That catches its interest, and for the first time he is able to make out the creature's figure as it moves closer to him. What he’s expecting is for it to charge at him at any second, that was his goal after all, but what Steve is very much not anticipating, is for it to rise to its back legs, a fully grown demogorgon only slightly smaller than the first one he’d faced, “Oh shit. Shit, shit, shit.”

Steve raises his bat, taking in every detail of the monster before they have to fight. It’s more frail than the one he’d fought before, he guesses because it has no leader. It seems less violent, from the way it just sort of watches him, not immediately starting its attack. He notices then, that this demogorgon is not more good natured or more weak than the other, but that it’s already been injured in a fight.

Right in the center of its chest is a bleeding hole almost as wide as the demogorgon itself, seemingly made by a shotgun blast. Because of the way this thing is, Steve knows that the wound isn’t hurting it much, but also that it’s exploitable. That, if he can just drive the end of his bat through that tender spot, it will die.

He decides he’s not going to wait for it to recuperate, and he charges first, bat clutched in both hands and raised over his head, his focus on driving through.

But as small a threat as this demogorgon seems, it still has a lot of teeth and a good bit of fight left in it, because it swipes Steve out of the way like a small annoyance, claws catching on his face just enough to leave two small, stinging scratches, and knock the bat out of his hands.

He scrambles for his weapon, dodging an attempt at a bite on his arm when he reaches for the bat, swinging it as soon as it’s back in his hands, hitting its face and tearing its flesh.

While it roars, in anger and pain and probably frustration that he’s beating it, Steve backs away, avoiding the blind, angry swings of its claws at him,

Again, he doesn’t give the demogorgon the chance to recover before he attacks, this time going for its legs, hoping to get the advantage by getting it on the ground. It easily dodges those swings, so Steve switches tactics, afraid to let the thing get too much confidence that it can beat him and tear him to shreds for making it mad, instead swinging and sticking that nails in its back repeatedly.

The combination of making it turn trying to grab for him behind it and the attack works, the creature sinking to its knees, the ultimate sign of submission and weakness.

Steve takes a deep breath, hoping this isn’t just a trap, the monster trying to look weak so it can trick him into coming close and finish him off. He raises the bat high over his head, plunging it with both hands through the already weak center of its chest.

It wasn’t a trap. The demogorgon hisses and shrieks, horrible sounds that make Steve let go of the bat and cover his ears, without the support of the bat, the monster falling to the dirt, dead if he’d ever seen one.

Steve puts his shoe on its neck, just in case, and pries the bat back out from its body, halfway down past the nails now completely coated in thick monster blood and gore. He grimaces, sticking it instead in the mud and leaning on it while he catches his breath, too terrified of what he’d been able to do, or rather, what he had to do in order to save his friends and Billy, who still might not survive all of this, to celebrate his own victory.

While it sits with him, and the adrenaline rush that carried him to killing a demogorgon gradually calms down, the radio in his pocket starts up. Through the intense static, he’s able to hear broken up bits of his name, but the words are stuck in his throat, unable yet to respond.

“Steve?” Slowly he can make out that it’s Robin’s voice calling to him, her tone getting gradually more desperate, “Steven Carson Harrington, come through right the hell now!”

He recognizes her fear, and that he should probably be dead right now, and only after he’s had enough time to sit with that thought is he ready to respond, “M’here, Rob. I’m here.”

On the other end, Robin sighs, immensely relieved by him making contact, has apparently been trying for longer than Steve had been able to hear in close range of the monster, “Jesus, Steve. I thought you were..”

“Not yet, Robs. I’m not that easy to get rid of.”

“And the demogorgon?”

“It’s dead.” Steve answers quickly, though he can’t find it in himself to give any details, anxiously moving the conversation along to, “Please tell me you have good news for me.”

He can hear the relieved smile on her voice as Robin responds, “I do. We’ve got him, Steve. We have Billy.”

[bkfics]

I. (edited)

Osaka, 7:30 a.m.

You're already up cooking a healthy breakfast for everyone because today is the match between Schweiden Adlers and MSBY Black Jackals

You're so excited for this and you really want the team you're managing for to win, you're the manager of Schweiden Adlers

But the excitement is not alone, there's also this strange feeling that something might happen, bad or really bad. So now you're filling your head with questions like: What if you guys lose?  What if someone makes a mistake and gets hurt? What if someone is sick before the match?  You know the boys didn’t want to watch any footage nor didn’t want you to give them any informations about the other team because they want to play having fun and feel the adrenaline rush, they really don't want to know any weaknesses or strengths of the MSBY

Even if you think that they're so childish, you understand them, but you don't want to see them lose, because you know that they keep practicing really hard.

‘Okaasan (mom) what are you cooking?’

You turn around and smile at your princess, Kisara

‘I’m cooking pancakes, your favourites’

‘YAYYYY PANCAKESSSS!!’ your daughter cheerfully shouts

You chuckle at her silliness

‘Isn’t your onii-chan (older brother) awake yet?’

‘Nope’

‘Can you wake him up, please? You guys need to get ready’

She nods and goes off to their room

A few minutes later, they enter the kitchen and your son, Kazuhiko, runs towards you with a big smile ready to jump and hug you

‘OKAASANNN GOOD MORNINGG!’

‘Goodmorning, my handsome prince. Did you sleep well?’

You asked as you embrace him, then you sit him and his sister to the table to eat breakfast.

You go make your own breakfast and sit with them. You keep staring and smiling at the sight of your children eating happily and you just couldn’t help but feel happy.

They’re now three years old and they’re the reason for your sunny smile. You’re really thankful to have such wonderful blessings.

And honestly, you think that the more you look at them, the more they remind you of their father, Sakusa Kiyoomi, because they look exactly like two mini-versions of him, a little girl and a little boy.

You don’t know how he’s been in the last 3 years because you decided to not have any social accounts on the internet, and you also wonder how is his family doing, because it’s been a while since you saw and heard from them, unfortunately you don’t know any ways to contact them unless you go to their house, but.. you remember that..

After the break up, everything that reminds you of him is too much for your heart, there’s this feeling on your chest, it’s like a node that keeps tightening your heart the more memories keep playing on your head.

‘Stop thinking about him, nothing’s gonna change the fact that he left’ You tell yourself in your head

‘Mom, are you okay?’ Kisara worriedly asks

‘Yes? Ah, yes I’m okay honey, why?’ you reply back

‘Because you look really sad’ She answers back and starts getting sad too, while her brother is eating his meal nonchalantly.

‘Don’t worry, honey, I’m okay, finish your breakfast and go brush your teeth.’ You tell them so you won’t be late

‘Yes, mom’ both of them replied

‘Oh, right, your uncle Ryota will be back today. He will pick you up at Aunt Satsuki and then you’ll go to the Arena to watch the game, okay?’

They got really surprised that Ryota is finally coming home

They both yelled ‘OTOOSANNN (dad) IS COMING HOMEEE!!’ at the same time

You just let them call him ‘dad’. This started when one day they got home really sad because all the kids in the kindergarten got picked up by their dads most of the time and when the kids asked the twins why their dad never picks them up, they couldn’t and didn’t know what to say

They started to call him dad when you three were hanging out with Ryota and the twins subconsciously called him ‘Otoosan’ and he got really surprised, but he never denied nor told them that he wasn’t their real dad, instead he just let them

You’re really grateful, but one day they will find out the truth and you don’t know how will they react. You really fear that day, because you feel that they’re not going to trust you like they are trusting you now…

After a few minutes, you’re all ready to leave the house

‘Let me put your shoes on and let’s go to aunt Satsuki’s home.. also’ you said ‘also’ with a stern voice.

‘She accepted to look after you when she has no work, so you better not stress her out, okay?’

They nod really fast and nervously, but you find that really cute and adorable.

You are now having a conversation with Satsuki after arriving at her house, the conversation’s really going well that you have lost track of the time and fortunately Kagayema called asking why you’re not in the venue yet

After the call you say bye to the kids and Satsuki and hop on the car. Carefully driving fast the 20 minutes gap between you and the Arena

You surprised yourself by the parking you just did, but you don’t have time to congratulate yourself for the outstanding parking

You sprint to the entrance and look for the boys for a good 5 minutes, but you can’t find them so you decide to give up and call Kageyama

‘Yes, Y/N-san?’

‘Kageyama-kun, i tried to find you but i still ended up at the entrance, where are you?’ After that sprint, you’re trying to catch your breath

‘Y/n-san, are you okay? You’re breathing really hard, calm down a bit’

‘Yes, i’m okay. I just ran from the parking to here, by the way, are you coming here?’

‘Ah, i’m coming right now. I was just talking to some friends from high school days. I’ll let you meet them, is that alright?’

‘Yes, no problem at all’ Friends from high school? You ask yourself if he ever said anything about his high school days

You see Kageyama and someone else coming and you walk towards him

‘Kageyama-kun, i’m really *breath* sorry, I thought i was *breath* really going to be late’

‘Relax, you’re just in time y/n-chan’ Hoshiumi says while giggling

You don’t really get why he’s giggling, but then you see your own reflection on a glass, and your hair is really messy right now

Now that you know, you glared at him, giving him chills on his back

Hoshiumi stops his giggling and you go with them to the locker rooms, and Kageyama tells you to wait for a moment

Then he comes back with an orange-haired boy, shorter than Kageyama, but he’s really a sunny guy, you think that whenever he goes in any room, he could probably start a party, he’s like a sunshine

‘Y/n-san, this is Hinata. Hinata this is y/n-san, our manager’ Kageyama says while having some kind of competition

You greet him and say ‘Nice to meet you, Hinata’

Before Hinata could speak, Kageyama says ‘He and I were in the Karasuno volleyball club together’

‘Oh, so you were the one who considered Kageyama-kun as his rival, got it!’ You say jokingly

‘Well, he’s still my rival though, can you tell me if he’s gotten worse.. hmm.. how should i call you? He asks with a big smile

You say ‘I’m L/N F/N, but you can call me with my first name, Y/N’

‘Well, y/n-san, did Kageyama get worse??’ Why do his eyes have sparkles?

‘That.. you’ll see during the match, Hinata-kun, and you should be the judge for that’

‘I’ll see how bad you got, Kageyama’ Is this how their friendship works?

‘This midg-‘ Oh, he stopped himself.

‘Y/n, i’ll briefly introduce you my teammates, hehehe.. do you see that boy with piss- i mean the blond hair? He’s Atsumu’

You giggle to how Atsumu was looking straight to Hinata’s soul without him noticing it, and he continued introducing them to you

‘Hmm..’

You’re confused as to why he has stopped and you’re wondering if he’s looking for someone in the hallways

‘Are you okay, Hinata-kun?’ you ask him

‘We’re missing someone, where’s Saku‘ Saku? Who’s Saku? Is he someone new? you ask in your head

You and the others turn around when you heard a door opening and you heard a familiar voice, catching everyone’s attention

‘You’d better have all gotten your flu shots.’

That voice.. isn’t that..? There’s no way that’s him, right?

As you’re hoping that it isn’t him..

There he is, standing straight at the door, with his face mask on, the man you fell in love with, the man your kids asked for over a year, yet you couldn’t tell them about him, and also the one who decided to leave you to pursue his career as a Pro Volleyball Player

At the sight of him, you can’t move your feet, you’re frozen and paralyzed, you just keep staring at him and have so many questions filling your head

Then, after he finished scanning and asking everyone, he turns his head at you and sees your little figure, you can tell that he’s in pure shock and that he’s surprised 

‘Sakusa Kiyoomi’

‘L/N F/N’

You two whispered at the same time

masterpost | prologue | II. 

FACTS: 

Momoi Satsuki is another character from Kuroko no Basket and she was Kise’s manager in Junior High School 

Y/N was Kageyama’s manager in Junior High Schoo, and when she first Kise she got immediately comfortable with him because his childness/silliness reminded her of Oikawa 

The name ‘Kisara’ means ‘princess’ 

While the name ‘Kazuhiko’ means ‘a respectable man’

@rrroadkill @samwise-though @lola2001 @velociraptorenthusiast @mjade1321 @farmertoshi @kurosiee @googiembul @hohoshiumi @floralkawa @miwtze

[bangtanreadingcorner]

all this time • kim seokjin

plot – you and your best friend, seokjin, drifted apart after he became a famous actor. years later, you find your way back to each other.

words – 3.5K

When your best friend Kim Seokjin got the lead role in a movie when you two were eighteen years old, you were ecstatic for him. What you were less ecstatic about was the fact that you grew apart to the point where you didn't even greet each other if you happened to cross one other in the street. Something that didn't happen very often because he moved to the city, but it still happened, each time he visited his parents in your hometown.

You, on the other hand, could never leave your home. Not forever, at least. It's not that bad, despite what some of the teenagers might say, it's a really big town. Big enough that not everyone knows everyone, and nobody poked their noses where it didn't belong. There is a lot to do, too, if you're a local and you know where to look. You love this place and you'll never completely leave it. You left years ago, to study and become a doctor, but then you came back. Now you live in an apartment and your work at the local hospital. It's not glamourous and glittery but it's home and it's what you've always wanted. It makes you happy and content, to help people and to heal physical injuries, get parents and children alike back on their feet, curing someone who's sick.

Sometimes there is a hollow place in your chest that aches, somedays more than others, but mostly you ignore it. You know what's missing from your life, you know what belongs there. You also know you're never getting it back, so you push past it and deal with it.

But beyond that, life was good.

A scream startles you out of your reverie and you come back to earth, looking around the small coffee shop you were in from where to were seated by the window, nearly rolling your eyes when you saw what it was.

It was Kim Seokjin, famous actor who had most woman's heart skipping a beat, who had just walked into the coffee shop, who used to be your best friend. It was two girls who spotted him and was now giggling while pointing - at least discreetly - at him with wide smiles on their faces.

You wonder with vague amusement what they would say if they knew that when you were thirteen, he stuck an olive up his nose because you bet him that his nose was to small and he wouldn't be able to do it.

Your eyes suddenly met Seokjin's, and you looked away immediately, missing the way his face fell into a cherstfallen look. But Seokjin, ever the professional, quickly wiped his features into a charming smirk, even if he felt like he was breaking inside. He wondered, not for the first time, if stardom was worth the price of losing you.

You ignored his presence as best you could, finishing your hot chocolate and the rest of your breakfast. After paying for your meal and getting ready to leave, you couldn't help but take another look at him, because he was your best friend Jin for long before he was Kim Seokjin the Actor and despite what you try to convince yourself of, you still miss him.

You looked to where he was seated and found him already staring. Instead of immediately looking away, you let your gaze linger, long enough that he gave you a hesitant smile and a little wave. You finally adverted your eyes, turned around and walked out of the cafe.

***

"I heard Seokjin-ah is back in town." Your mother said conversationally when you went to visit your parents that evening for dinner.

"Yeah, I saw him this morning in Misses Jung's Diner." You answered, making sure to keep your tone disinterested, not wanting her to get into this topic.

Your mother brightened, as she bustled around the kitchen. Your father was in the living room, watching television. "Oh, and how is he doing? The star life treating him well?"

"How would I know? I didn't talk to him." You shrugged with a light frown. "I told you, we're not friends anymore."

"And who's decision was that?" Your mother asked, rounding on you with narrowed eyes.

"No one, it was just life. We drifted apart, that's it." You answered honestly. You really did drift apart, but it could have been prevented, if Seokjin put in more effort. You did everything you could to keep your friendship, but eventually he stopped returning your calls and texts, and it wasn't until he finally didn't even send you a text on your twenty first birthday that you gave up completely. When you got a new phone from your parents, you didn't save his number again.

"Maybe now that he's back, you two can patch things up again." You mother suggested with an excited smile. "You know, you aren't getting any younger and I want grandbabies."

"Mom!" You gasped in a little exasperation, but not surprised at all. This has been going on since you turned 25. You suppose you're lucky that she's not like Mrs. Kwon next door who tries to set her daughter up with any willing man, that she just teases you with Seokjin every now and again. Probably because she knows you're in love with him, even after all these years. "I'm 28, not 48. Also, Jin and I were just friends. How many times do I have to tell you that?"

"You can never tell me enough times that I'll be convinced." She said with a pointed look in her eyes as she grinned at you. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes, regretting the night you showed up at home and cried your eyes out because you realised that you are in love with Seokjin and he's gone and you never got to tell him. You almost went to Seoul that weekend to tell him.

"Just because I have feelings for him, doesn't mean he has feelings for me." You reminded her.

"Hah!" She scoffed, muttering under her breath about 'stupid children' and 'won't know unless it hits them in the face'. You shook your head with a fond smile as you watched her until the door bell rang.

You frowned lightly, "Are you expecting someone?"

"Yes." You mother nodded, brightening up significantly, wiping her hands on a dishtowel. "Oh, that must be Minji and Seokjin."

"You invited Jin and his mom to dinner?" You hissed at you mother, only glaring slightly. You assumed Seokjin's dad wasn't coming because he isn't home, probably on rotation - a military man through and through is how you'd discribe Mr. Kim, if ever asked.

You got a whack with the dishtowel behind the head, "Y/N, behave."

Dinner was a boisterous affair, but not from your part. You didn't know if it was thanks to your mother - but you'd bet a month's salary that it was - that you and Seokjin end up sitting next to each other, but you did. He looked at you, a lot. You could feel it, his gaze like a brand on your skin.

"Seokjin-ah, your mom tells me you'll be in town for a while." Your mom said with a bright smile and you breathed a little easier when he moved his eyes away from you. Your heart was still unsteady.

"Yes, Ma'am, I'll be staying for a month before my next film's production starts." He answered politely, voice deep and soothing and everything that you want. You clenched your fists in your lap, swallowing thickly as you reminded yourself that you couldn't have it.

"That's wonderful." Your mother said.

After finishing your dinner, you had to get out of there. "Excuse me, I'm feeling like swinging."

"Me too." Seokjin said with a cheery smile, rising from his chair as well.

"You're not invited." You snapped and felt guilty when he flinched.

"Y/N, this is not how I raised you." Your mother said with a slight glower on her face. You look to your dad for help, but he just smiles at you before stuffing his mouth with more food.

You sighed in resignation, "Fine, he can join me if he really wants."

You walked to the backdoor without looking to see if Seokjin was following you. You wanted to leave so you could get away from him, clear your head and get your bearings right.

The swing you talked about wasn't an actual swing - although you do like going to the swings in the park a few blocks from your house - but a swinging bench that your dad hung for you from the tree behind the house years ago. The swinging bench held countless memories of you and Jin, playing and having fun. You sat down and wait for him to sit down too before kicking with your feet against the ground and swinging.

It was dark and quiet outside, just the sounds of the night animals waking up. It was soothing in a way that little else was. The comforting and safe presence next to you hasn't been there for a decade, and you soaked it up, knowing it wouldn't last past tonight.

"How have you been?" Seokjin eventually asked, breaking the silence that settled over you two.

"Do we have to talk?" You asked and it's not meant to come out that sour or mean, but there's a lot of resentment in you towards him for just letting fifteen years of friendship go down the drain for fame. The friendship between you was something you cherished most in this world and before you were in love with him, you just loved him. Losing a loved one always hurt. And it did. It hurt like hell when you lost him and your friendship.

He flinched from your words, again, and you felt guilty again. He looked at you but you didn't look at him as he spoke. "I'm sorry, that I ever hurt you by leaving."

"It's fine, it's been ten years. I'm over it." You waved him off, when really it isn't fine and you aren't over it.

"Still, I never wanted to hurt you." Seokjin said, sincere and open.

You sighed, closing your eyes and leaning back on the bench. He had the right idea, by apologizing, but he was apologizing for the wrong thing. "You leaving didn't hurt me, Jin. Cutting me out of your life did."

***

A few days later on your day off, you were riding your motorcycle, on your way to the mall - the bookstore had finally let you know that the medical journal you ordered had arrived - when you heard it. Voices screaming 'Seokjin- or Jin-oppa'. Your head automatically swivel in that direction and you didn't know whether to laugh at the sight or feel sorry for Seokjin, who was being chased by five girls. You wanted to just drive away.

But then you caught sight of the slightly terrified look on his face and your heart twisted violently. You swore, and revved your bike before turning around and making a U-turn, riding to where Seokjin was. Both him and the girl's stopped in their tracks when they noticed you were driving straight at them. They all froze, not moving or running like most people would have.

You braked and slowed down until you were infront of Seokjin, idling as you flipped open the visor and called, "Hey, Kim Seokjin! Get on!"

He didn't hesitate, climbing on and wrapping his arms around your waist tightly before you took off. You drove him to his house, not making any detours because you wanted to get away from Seokjin before he could realise the fast pace of your heart was not because of adrenaline but because of his close proximity.

"Can we talk?" He asked after he got off, placing a hand on your forearm to prevent you from taking off.

You took a deep breath, then turned off your bike and took off your helmet, looking at him expectantly while flattening your hair. "Talk about what?"

"Anything, I don't care." He answered, tone bordering on pleading. "I just want to talk to you."

"You were the one that shut me out." You said, voice just this side of cold as you rested your feet on the tar road.

"Because I wanted to make something of myself and I couldn't do that if all I thought about was packing up and coming home to you." Seokjin defended himself, hoping that you'd see reason.

Instead, you scoffed at him. "Well, you did. So, congratulations. I hope you're happy and I hope it was worth it."

"I missed you." Seokjin said out of the blue. Your body tensed and you wanted to look at him, but you didn't. Too afraid that if you did you'd cave and forgive him. "Everyday, for the past ten years, I've missed you. I never stopped, not once."

The words was like a healing salve to your sore and bruised heart that never quite healed right. You swallowed thickly. "What do you want me to say, Jin?"

It was quiet for a while, before he finally asked. "Do you really hate me that much?"

You laughed a little, as if. How much easier would your life be if you could have just hated him after he stopped talking to you. If you did, maybe you could have moved on, had those grandchildren your mother is always nagging about. You shook your head, "No, I don't hate you, I never have. I never could."

"Can we try to be friends again?" He asked, bright and hopeful and you hated to be the one to destroy that, but you didn't have another choice.

"Just so we can drift apart again?" You challenged, scoffing a little. "No, thanks, I already lost you once, I'd rather not do it all over again."

"It's different this time." Seokjin insisted earnestly.

You opened your mouth, to give a harsh remark, but when you saw the honesty and seriousness in his eyes, you asked instead, "How?"

Seokjin smiled at you and you ignored the way it made you feel like you could melt into a puddle of goo. "Well, for one, we're both grown up this time around. And two, I've decided that maybe it's time to start putting roots down."

"Haven't you done that in the city?" You questioned with a frown.

"Not really, no." Seokjin shook his head. "There's just no place like home, you know?" He asked, giving you a look

You looked at him and smiled slightly, "Yeah, I know."

"Can I show you something? Tomorrow?" Seokjin asked, and seeing your hesitation, he added on a gentle, "Please."

"Okay." You agreed, watching as he gave you a brilliant smile. Your heart singed and your stomach flip-flopped.

"You can come by tomorrow at 11." He said and you nodded in agreement.

"See you tomorrow."

You started your bike and drove away, anticipation and excitement for the next day knotting your stomach.

***

"Why did you bring me here?" You asked the next day, heart full of bursting emotions as you looked at the house. It wasn't just any house, it was your dream house. The house you fell in love with when you were fifteen years old, it wasn't a mansion, but it wasn't a small house either, at three stories high. It was an old, fixer upper, but you've always loved it. It was a little secluded, being just out of town and in the woods, and it was where you planned to stay one day.

Seokjin knew all of this. You two sneaked here many times and he listened to you rant about the house and how perfect it is even more times. So, why bring you here now?

"Remember what I said about putting roots down?" He asked and you hummed in confirmation, nodding slightly, a bit confused. "I bought it."

Your eyes widened and you gaped at him, completely thrown off by his words. "You- what? Why?"

Suddenly, his demeanor turned nervous, hands trembling slightly and voice shaky when he spoke, "I was hoping that, maybe, it could be a home. For us."

"Jin-"

"Just let me talk, okay? Because if I don't say this right now, I never will." Seokjin said, holding up a hand to silence you, and you nodded, a little greatful because you had no idea what the hell to say to that. "I've been in love with you since I was thirteen years old and ten years ago I left because I had nothing to offer you, I had no money, no way to give you your dream house. But now? Now I can give you everything you deserve."

You still didn't know what to say. You stayed quiet, thinking about what he said and how to respond to that because this - Jin telling you he loves you back - is everything you've ever wanted.

"Jin, I didn't need this, it was just a dream. You-" You broke off, emotions choking you up. "You were what I really wanted."

"I know, Y/N. I've known you almost all my life, and I know material things isn't what makes you happy, but I wanted to be able to give them to you." He said sincerely, looking at you with his chocolatey depths that made your heartbeat speed up. He sighed, raking a hand through his hair. "These last ten years, they were hell with out you. I tried to stay your friend, but it got to hard to talk to you everyday and not be with you, not being able to tell you what I feel. So, I started putting distance between us, promising myself that one day, I'll come back and tell you everything."

Your mouth felt dry, heart thundering in your ears as you looked at him. Your voice was a whisper when you spoke, "Do you know how much you hurt me? Do you have any idea?"

"I do, because it hurt me too. I'm sorry, Y/N, so truly sorry and I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you, if you'll let me." He said, taking a step forward but you took one back, needing space to think.

"How do I know you won't just leave again?" You asked him, challenging and a little mean.

"Because I love you and I want a life with you." Seokjin said, then much more hesitant and softer, he asked, "Do you want that too?"

You stared at him, heart beating wildly, eyes stinging and chest constricting. You didn't think it was possible to feel this much all at once. Finally, you nodded slowly. "Yeah, I do."

Seokjin sighed in relief, shoulders slumping over as he nearly kneeled over with the force of his relief. He took a step closer and when you didn't move away from him again, he stepped closed until he was near enough to pull you close, hugging you tightly to his body, the way your body fit against his familiar, but at the same time it was new because he'd never hugged you before while knowing that you reciprocate his feelings. He dreamed, wished, hoped but never fully believed it. His whole life, everything he built, was done on nothing but his love for you. He didn't know if you felt the same or if you'd even still be here by the time he came back or even if you were, if you would still be single then. All he had was his love. His love that burned brighter than ever before.

"Hey, stupid." You called softly, cheeks aching you were smiling so wide.

"I'm not-" He cut himself off with a resigned sigh. "What is it?"

"I love you."

"I love you too." He said, and you could hear the smile in this voice.

"It's not going to be easy." You warned him, because there was at least sixty different ways this could go wrong. You held him a little tighter and he squeezed back.

"Nothing worth having ever is." He retorted smugly.

"Smartass." You huffed, slapping lightly against his back, more fond than anything else.

"Your smartass, though."

"Yeah," You nodded with a happy smile, lifting your head from his chest so you can look into his eyes. "Mine."

Seokjin cupped your cheeks, leaning down and pressing a quick and gentle kiss against your lips. He pulled away, cheeks a lovely shade of pink. You could feel the heat spreading to your own cheeks as well. "Sorry, I should have asked before I kissed you."

"You call that a kiss?" You huffed, watching as realisation spread in his eyes. He smirked down at you and opened his mouth, but before he could say anything, you yanked him down and pulled him into a deep and passionate kiss, because really, it's been over a decade since you've wanted to do this. He didn't hesitate to respond to your kiss, just as eagerly and you realised that this was finally happening. After all this time, years of pining and hurting and thinking it never would, it was finally happening.

Your mother is going to gloat all the way into the next century.

the end.

[draconym]

Summer Camp Culture

It's spring now so that means I've been thinking about my plans for summer camp at the parks where I work. I've been told by a lot of kids and parents that my camps are Better, and while I usually have no idea what to do when someone praises me I've come to take a lot of pride in being Good At Camp. I have many fond memories of summer camp as a kid (most of my good childhood memories, in fact) and the majority are due to what can only be described as "camp culture." Summer camp is a world that operates differently from the ones kids know at school and at home. Some of Camp Culture is the unique rituals and games that each group of kids discovers on their own, but a lot of it is the environment that we as adults make the effort to create.

So here are some of the things I've learned that I do differently from other camp directors, that maybe my fellow camp directors/counselors and youth mentors can learn from!

Let kids pick their own camp names. By this I mean that on the first day, when we introduce ourselves and make name tags, I let kids decide what I and everyone else at camp will call them. About 95% of kids just stick with their name, but sometimes kids choose outlandish nicknames for themselves like Coconut or Kirby or Sharkbait, and that's fun. More importantly, though, there are a lot of kids who don't like their given names (for any reason, really, but special shout-out to everyone who doesn't like their given name for Gender Reasons). These kids absolutely light up when you tell them you'll call them whatever they tell you to call them on the first day of camp.

Bypass the stressful illusion that you're going to maintain orderliness and instead aim for controlled chaos. For example, whether we're hiking or walking to and from different locations, I don't bother trying to get kids to walk in a line. There's no real necessity for it as long as they stay with our group. Instead, we make a "counselor sandwich" where the the adults at the front and the back are the "bread" and the kids are the "sandwich fillings," and as long as they "stay in the sandwich" I'm satisfied. There's also the added entertainment of hearing them proudly declare what sandwich ingredient they are.

Related point: Sometimes you gotta just find an easy and inelegant solution to a problem to streamline activity transitions, etc; since we lack actual cubbies or hooks or anything at all the rec and parks camps, I designate one picnic table at each location as the Stuff Table and everyone's backpacks and coats and water bottles go on it. Once that kind of system is in place you can designate a Stuff Tree or a Stuff Rock or a Stuff Log out on the trail, YMMV.

Under no circumstances should you force a kid to engage in a game or activity. YES they do have to stay with the group, and that might mean they have to keep hiking when they don't want to, but NEVER EVER shame a kid for "I don't wanna." My only responses to I Don't Wanna are "you don't have to," or in the case of a hike, where they can't just sit on the ground nearby, "if you don't feel up to it you can sit in the office on the cot until you feel better" (the parks and rec equivalent of an infirmary). I have had kids with anxiety and the families of kids with anxiety tell me emphatically that not being mandated to do new and intimidating activities was a huge boon to their metal health. I have watched anxious kids blossom over the course of a summer (or two or three) as they gradually gain the skills to join in and try new things. I often invite kids who are uncomfortable in this way to be a referee or to help set up the equipment for a game, and they have all appreciated the (no pressure) invitation, even if they don't always accept the task right away.

Never underestimate the power of shouting RED LIGHT to get a kid to stop doing something inadvisable. Many kids who are completely deaf to their own name when combined with your impassioned pleas to stop running will immediately freeze upon hearing "RED LIGHT." Bonus: other children will often join in with you in shouting it.

Whenever possible, encourage kids to resolve conflicts themselves. When I see an argument brewing, I usually remain on standby until a kid requests that I step in (unless it looks like someone is REALLY going to lose their temper and lash out). Sometimes I'll cut in and ask, "is something wrong?" which kids are usually eager to answer. Which segues into:

Don't force kids to say "I'm sorry." A sulky, forced apology is meaningless and most kids recognize (and resent) this. Instead of demanding "say you're sorry," I usually ask the aggrieved party "what do you want to happen now/next time?" I also ask the other party what they want to happen next time, since it usually reveals what caused them to escalate the situation in the first place. Sometimes the answer IS simply "I want an apology," but often this question leads to more constructive solutions like "I want him to give me a chance to kick the ball" or "I want her to stop calling me a Dunkaroo" or "I just want to be left alone." I also highly recommend "just spend some time away from each other" as a viable conflict resolution for kids, though with a camp group it's not always possible.

I allow kids to engage in conflict-inducing games that other counselors won't by using them as an opportunity to teach my campers about consent. There are few things more adorable than watching large group of preschoolers carefully negotiate how and who they will throw water balloons at because I have told them that they MUST get permission beforehand EVERY SINGLE TIME they want to throw a water balloon at someone or they won't be given any more water balloons. I have witnessed countless iterations of conversations like, "can I throw one at you?" "only if I can throw mine at you" "hmmm nevermind then" "okay"

This goes for most kinds of physical contact. A lot of counselors will declare No Touching Of Any Kind rules and then paradoxically initiate games of tag or sports that require mildly violent physical contact. So not only do I find "don't touch anyone else ever" to be a ridiculously unenforceable, even psychologically unhealthy rule, I've also never seen it consistently implemented. The Touching Rules that I enforce all come down to "ask first even if you are trying to be nice" and "always stop if the other person doesn't like it." And the classic, "no kissin' at camp," because some kids are just a little too affectionate.

If you've got a kid with no respect for bugs, you can prevent wanton insecticide with the rule of "if you kill it you have to eat it." Other children are eager to enforce this rule on bug-killers.

[matchasprouts]

Listen Closer - Chapter 18

[ finally updating <3 i've been hanging out with a friend all weekend so i haven't really had the chance to write! very excited to move on to the big game though. hopefully it'll all fit into one chapter without killing me dead since it'll be in Garrett's perspective, but we'll see how much i wanna write about it ]

First || Next || Previous || Last

“He kissed you?” Lawrence asked over dinner that night, after Garrett finished telling him about his day. “Like… on the mouth?”

Garrett let out a sharp laugh that cautious way Lawrence said it, covering his mouth until he’d calmed down. “Yes, Lawrence, on the mouth. It was insane! I’ve never seen him lose his composure like that, I honestly thought we were about to fuck.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if you did,” Lawrence replied, referencing Garrett’s propensity for taking just about any chance for public sex that he got.

“I wouldn’t either, but Perez walked in and he acted like she was gonna kill him for it,” Garrett said, rolling his eyes at the memory of the interruption. He would have had a lot of fun that day if it weren’t for her coming in. Though, giving Strahm a little taste of what he craved only for it to be taken suddenly was very satisfying as well.

When they were done, Lawrence helped Garrett clean up. Mark hadn’t come home yet, he had some work to catch up on and decided to stay late. He was probably also preparing for the big game that would be starting soon.

He still wasn’t home by the time the two of them laid down, and Garrett sent him a quick goodnight text before closing his eyes. He heard his phone ping with a response almost immediately, but the lack of sleep last month was still kicking his ass and he passed out before he could reply.

---

“Huh. That’s new,” Garrett commented as he looked down at the corpse in front of him, a man with his head sawn in two. The trap itself seemed to be just the circular saw covered in the blood of the dead man, the chains around his wrists attached to the wall with it.

“My best guess is that he was supposed to get out of the chains before they dragged him to the saw.” He didn’t actually know anything about this trap, as he hadn’t seen it be built or heard anything about it. It honestly looked like something John himself put together, but he knew that was unlikely, unless it had been built when John was in better condition.

He began to glance around the room, looking for a tape or keys. Generally, he wasn’t allowed to touch the tapes, since they were almost always in evidence by the time he was called in. He didn’t find a tape, but he found a key in a small hole in the floor, covered up with a piece of wood that was near indistinguible from the rest of the floor.

“Hey, where’s Strahm?” Garrett asked Perez when she handed him the evidence bag that he dropped the key into, so they could check if it would have actually worked.

Perez gave him one of those looks, making it clear that she knew exactly why he was asking. “In his office, I imagine. He came in but didn’t show up when I called him down to the scene. I can only guess why.”

See, this is why you should knock before coming into Garrett’s office.

“Hm. Good to know,” he replied, grinning at her before getting to work on his sketch. He loved knowing that she could see the tension between him and her partner, because it made it so much more fun.

He handed the sketch off to her when he was done, making a small note about how simple this trap was, and how he thought it was probably Kramer who designed it, making it easier to build since he couldn’t put it together.

He’d know if he was right or not when he asked later.

Soon enough, he was back in his office, humming a soft tune to himself as he worked.

The office was becoming something like a third home to him, seeing as he spent more time in it than his own apartment at this point. Sure he was glad to have a different job and coworkers than when he worked at the bookshop, but he spent a lot of time in here.

It didn’t help that the other parts of Jigsaw suddenly decided to pick up the pace and set an assload of traps, some of which Garrett didn’t even know about until they happened. He was inclined to think that he was the only one working on the big game now, but he knew better than that. After all, John had been very excited (or, as excited as that man could get) to show him the rack last time he was at the meat packing plant. Of course, he’d been ecstatic to see it, the rack was his favourite torture device, and he loved the new twist on it.

Damn. Not even he could escape his shitty puns.

Either way, Garrett got out of the precinct as fast as possible, not because he was tired of being in there, but because Mark had told them that if the both of them went back to the motel today, they could get the trap finished and be done with it, which would lessen the time in between setting it up and the game starting.

As excited Garrett was to see the game unfold, he was also eager for it to be done with. At this point, he was only really tuned in to seeing the rack in action, and seeing if Strahm lived or not.

Though, he’d also get to see just how good of an actor Mark was when he was pressured, and he was very excited for that.

“You ready?” he asked Mark once he had his bag slung over his shoulder, carrying the two final pieces of the machine itself, while Mark had all the extras- the tape, the pictures to be strung up, the pig mask that the player would be given, and the red light bulb they were going to switch out the normal one for. Atmosphere was important, after all.

“Let’s go,” Mark replied simply, apparently deciding that he was going to drive the shitty rental car that Garrett himself could barely fit in. That was going to be amusing, but he said nothing.

He let a snicker escape when Mark realized he was too big for the car, but he stood by his decision and made the very awkward drive to the motel, glaring at Garrett every time he laughed at the sight of him all crumpled up in the driver’s seat.

They took a longer route to the motel this time, just to be safe and ensure that they weren’t being followed. But it didn’t take too long for them to park in front of the gross only building.

Garrett pulled his mask and hood up, glancing at Mark and finding him with a confused expression. “I’m kind of easy to pick out in a crowd,” he pointed out, referencing his bright white hair and face scar. “You should probably cover up too, just to be safe.

Mark paused for a long moment, before sighing and pulling his own hood up. Then they got out of the front and grabbed the bags from the back, heading in as soon as Garrett found the room keys.

Ivan tried to talk to them again when they headed in, trying to get them to explain who they were, only to be shut down with a sharp glare from Mark. Garrett snickered quietly to himself at the look on that freak’s face, before quickly heading upstairs.

They set everything up before putting in the new light bulb, neither of them particularly eager to work in the red light. Mark set up the pictures, tape, and mask while Garrett finished putting together his most annoying, but likely most satisfying, trap.

Garrett was going to be the one watching every camera that they were connected to, acting as the watcher of the game. He originally thought about participating, but John shut that down quickly. There needed to be someone who could take down stragglers and put Strahm in his trap, and Lawrence wouldn’t be able to do that himself.

It was a little disappointing, but at least he’d get to see the Rack and his own trap in action.

They didn’t stay any longer than they had to, heading out as soon as they were done. Ivan didn’t try to talk to them again, but someone else tried to get their attention.

There had been a drug addict that was sitting beside the front door every time Garrett showed up, usually choosing to yell at him whenever he came in. He’d done the same thing today, but took it up a notch and grabbed Garrett.

He almost killed him on the spot, forcing him to freeze as his eyes widened even more than they usually were. The addict seemed to already regret his decision, probably because the lighting made Garrett’s very wide eyes look red, instead of his usual brown.

The jacket was released almost immediately, but that didn’t stop Garrett from cracking his fist down on the man’s jaw, ignoring his cry of pain or the fact that his knuckles now ached.

“Let’s go,” he growled to Mark, grabbing him by the arm and all but dragging him out of the building.

They didn’t talk about it on the ride back, or after it. In fact, they planned to never talk about it again. Luckily, they were distracted when Amanda wheeled John over, placing him right in front of them.

“Is your trap done, Garrett?” John asked him, pulling the oxygen mask down to hang around his neck. When Garrett nodded his confirmation, he continued. “Good. The game can proceed earlier than planned then. Is your final tape finished?” he asked Mark now.

Mark recorded the tapes for Rigg’s part of the game, the part that Mark himself would be participating in. Garrett had gotten to listen to them, and he had to admit that he’d gotten a lot better at the Jigsaw voice.

He nodded, confirming that they were done. “Then we gather the players soon- within a week, at the most. Take a break while you still can. Garrett, you will collect Mr. Denlon and his co-players. Amanda will retrieve Dr. Denlon and Detective Matthews. Mark, you have your files, try not to hurt them too much.”

It’s funny that he thought Mark was going to be the problem- though, to be fair, Mark didn’t exactly see players as people anymore. That’s why Garrett was gathering the players for John’s half of the game, because he didn’t trust Mark to not hurt them.

John waved his hand to dismiss them both, and they took the chance to head home to the apartment before it got too late, not particularly fond of the idea of sleeping in Garrett’s work room.

Besides, Lawrence was at home, and he never liked sleeping alone.

“So, do you think Strahm is going to follow Rigg’s trail like he’s supposed to?” Garrett asked as he drove them home, both of them far more comfortable in his own car, which was actually built for people their size.

“If he wants to find Jigsaw, he’ll have to,” Mark replied, finishing whatever text he was writing on his phone and sending it off. “With how much he thinks it’s me, he’ll think that he’s being led to exactly who he wants.”

“Which is why I’ll be knocking him out. I’m a different build, height, and strength level. The last thing he’ll probably realize before he passes out is that whoever I am, I’m definitely not you,” Garrett added. The plan was thought out to the smallest detail, and that was one of the most important parts. Strahm wouldn’t even have a trap at all if he’d just minded his own business.

Garrett would never admit it, but he definitely wished Strahm had stayed out of it. He wasn’t by any means a good man, or a good agent, but he wasn’t being trapped for rehabilitation; he was being trapped to die.

It made him feel uneasy. Sure, Garrett wasn’t a perfect model of John’s teachings, but he still believed that killing someone for the hell of it was fucked up. He didn’t like it, and he didn’t like that Strahm was given no way to escape.

So, he was going to give him one.

[emmy-writes-sometimes]

No Doubts

For the anon who requested this. Steve goes back in time to visit Peggy. You, his girlfriend, have your doubts about whether he’ll come home. All you can do is wait and see if he loves you as much as he says he does. 

-

          “No,” you said defiantly. You knew you were making a scene, but at this point you didn’t care. And you saw the pain in Steve’s eyes and you knew what you were doing to him, but you didn’t care.

           “I have to,” he tried to say. You knew he was lying. You fucking knew, and you held your arms close to your chest and you didn’t let him touch you. “Baby-”

           “Don’t baby me,” you interrupted. He sighed. Bucky grabbed hold of Sam’s arm and started to walk toward Banner, who was ready to send Steve back.

           “Let’s give the lovebirds a minute,” Bucky said under his breath as he led his friend away. You glanced over at them before looking back at Steve. Your chest and your stomach were in so much pain you could barely breathe. You felt like your entire world was falling apart. And it was, because Steve was your entire world and he had been since the first time you met him. You had been brought on by Natasha to help with the whole Ultron thing, and since then you and Steve had just… happened. One morning you woke up in his bed after one of Tony’s parties and you just never left. And Steve never asked you to leave. Two years later he gave you a ring, and you wore it unless you were in your suit. Steve Rogers was the absolute love of your life, and you thought you were his. You thought Peggy was just a memory he was trying to hold onto, but now you could see that she was much more than that.

           “You’re choosing her over me,” you murmured tearfully. You could barely see the forest ground because of your teary eyes. Steve tried to grab onto your arm and you shook it away. “Don’t.”

           “I’m not choosing anything,” Steve responded. “Why can’t you see that? I have to explain things, babe, I need closure.”

           “This closure is permanent, Steve. Don’t you understand what you’re doing to me? To everyone? I thought we were in this together. That’s what you said when you gave me this ring. That’s what you said when you tried to sacrifice yourself for me.”

           “I know you’re mad.” Steve’s voice was calm.

           “I’m not mad!” You yelled this time. You were beginning to lose what little control you had left.

           “This is my choice. And I’m making it. And I don’t understand why you don’t see that I’m coming back. I’m coming back whatever way I can. This is something I have to do.”

           “What about my choice?” Steve’s America-blue eyes looked down.

           “I thought you believed in me. I thought you loved me.”

           “I do!” You exclaimed, not even trying to hide your tears anymore. “I love you more than anything, Steve, but I don’t think it’s enough for you anymore and you’re not trying to tell me it is.” Steve sighed.

           “It is.” He walked forward and closed the distance between you, knowing you’d lost the ability to fight. He took one of his rough, calloused hands, and lifted your chin with his finger. “You’re always enough for me. But my old life… That got ripped away from me. Everything got ripped away from me. I’m asking you to let me go back and say goodbye. I’m saying goodbye to that world, not you. Never you. And if you don’t believe me then…”

           “I want to,” you interrupted again. “Steve, I wanna believe you’ll come back, but…” You looked up finally and saw tears in his own eyes. “I’m scared.”

           “I’ll tell you what,” Steve said through his own tears. “If you believe me, go back to the safe house and wait for me. When I get back, we’ll work this out. And I promise you I will never leave you again. I just need to do this. And I understand if you think that’s unforgiveable.” Your stomach flipped over. You wanted to think you were strong enough to end this, to tell him no, you couldn’t wait, but you didn’t have the strength. So you nodded.

           “If you don’t come back…”

           “I will.” Steve took his hand away from you and reached toward his neck, where he took out the tags he’d kept hanging around his neck ever since he stole them from the Smithsonian. His dog tags. He put them over your head, pulling your hair out from underneath them, and he leaned down and kissed you.

           “Why are you giving me these?” You asked, gripping onto the silver so hard that it left his name and social security number imprinted in your palm.

           “Because. I want you to hold onto them for me. And when I come back, you can give them back. Okay?” You nodded. Another tear fell onto the ground and it was so big that it made Steve’s heart ache. But he was done serving the world – he needed to serve himself. You knew that, no matter how much you didn’t want to believe it.

           “Okay.” He pulled you into his strong, familiar embrace. “I love you, Steve,” you mumbled as you wrapped your arms around him.

           “I love you too.” Steve punctuated his words with another kiss, and after smoothing your hair down again, he started to walk back toward the device that would send him away.

           “Come on,” Sam, the man you had come to know as possibly your best friend, pulled you away and into his arms so you wouldn’t have to watch.

-

           It felt like forever that Steve was gone. With every single day that passed, you were sure that you were going to lose him. You only became more and more doubtful that he would come home. But you promised, and you wanted to believe in his promise, so you stayed. You stayed at the safe house the two of you had found together. You kept his jacket laying on the back of the chair at his desk. You kept his aftershave and razor on the vanity, waiting for him to come back and finally shave off that beard. You kept his other suit ready to go, right next to yours, in the bottom drawer of your dresser. You kept the quilt he liked at the end of the bed. You always made sure you had the kind of food he liked somewhere in the house, and you only replaced it when it went bad. You were waiting, and even though you were losing faith, everyone else told you not to.

           Sam and Bucky would come by every few days to check on you. They would make sure you got out of bed and ate and sometimes they’d even stay in the spare rooms upstairs to make sure you weren’t alone. Most of the time, actually, unless they were on a mission, they lived with you. They tried to keep your spirits up. They even got you a companion, a gigantic retired bomb dog that Sam had met at the VA. But soon enough, they were gone again.

           It marked six months since he’d been gone, and your faith was at its end. You truly believed he wasn’t coming back. Still, though, you hadn’t taken the dog tags off your neck and you hadn’t taken off the ring Steve had given you. It was a stormy night because lately they all had been that way. Sam and Bucky were gone somewhere in Europe, they weren’t allowed to tell you where. You were sure they were safe, though, because they called every chance they got. And they weren’t supposed to be back for another few days, so you didn’t expect anybody.

           “Hey! Buddy!” You whistled in the darkness, watching the field in front of you for a sign of your dog. He never wandered too far when you let him outside, but he was far enough this time that you couldn’t quite see him. A minute after you called him again, he came bounding up to the front of the house, patiently sitting down at the top of the stairs.

           “Good boy,” you said as you took the towel draped over the porch and started to wipe him off. Lightning lit up the field in front of you, revealing nobody for miles and miles. The road was a half a mile away from your line of sight still. You were all alone, except for the dog. Not that you expected anyone. You never did. And if an unwanted visitor showed up, you had nuclear power at your fingertips.

           “Go to bed. Go on.” The dog panted as he walked inside in front of you. You made sure to lock the door and set the alarm, and then you started your nightly routine. You walked to every room and locked every window and made sure the alarm mechanism was working, and when you came back down the stairs, you fixed yourself a glass of water. The thunder outside was shaking the house, and internally you told Thor to calm it down or you’d never get to sleep. You walked into your room and took your series of pills, one after the other, until you were done. You opened the covers where Steve used to lay and let the dog crawl in beside you, muttering a quick good night.

           “Thanks,” Steve said to the driver he’d hired to take him back to the house. He had no idea where his motorcycle was, or if you’d even kept it.

           “You sure you want me to leave you at these gates?” The driver questioned, raising an eyebrow. Lightning lit up the field once again, and the driver relaxed when he saw a house in the distance.

           “Here’s fine,” Steve said. He got out of the car and, after thanking the driver, he started the long walk up to the house. The lights were all off, but Sam’s truck and your SUV were parked beside the house. He could feel himself getting soaked by the rain, but he didn’t care. Rain was the least of his worries. Especially as he got closer to the house. He wanted to knock, but it was two in the morning. So he entered the code on the doorknob and walked inside.

           You’d kept the house clean. Very clean. What else were you supposed to do all day? He made sure to wipe his feet on the door-mat after he turned the alarm system off. He looked around to see that his things were still where he left them and that alone gave him more hope than he’d had in a long time. But Sam and Bucky had jackets strewn on top of chairs in the dining area, too, and there was a dog bowl by the refrigerator that still had a picture of the two of you on it.

           You heard the door open and close and snapped awake, sitting up in the bed immediately. The dog didn’t wake – so much for a guard dog – but you did. That was when your eyes adjusted to the darkness. The door was wide open, and standing in it was the silhouette of a man you never thought you’d see again. Instantly, your eyes filled with tears. You looked like you’d seen a ghost, and for a minute, you thought you did.

           “Stevie,” you muttered through the tears that were quickly forming in your eyes. You broke as soon as you said his name out loud. He was real. He was alive. He was Steve, your Steve, and he’d come back like he promised. He’d come home.

           He was slow and steady in his movements as you stood up, walking into the room until his feet hit the rug by the bed. He let you make the first move. You just flew right into his arms like a little kid, and he felt a wave of relief go through his body as he finally felt you again. You started crying, unable to control yourself, as you buried your face in his body.

           “It’s okay,” he muttered as he choked back his own tears. He kissed the top of your head, the only place he could reach, and squeezed you tightly. Your hair had gotten longer, he noticed as he pulled it to one side of your shoulder. It smelled like lavender, your shampoo, and when it mixed with the smell of the scented candle you’d burned earlier, Steve knew he was home.

           “I thought you were gone,” you sobbed. You cried like he was a ghost, like you’d really believed it even though you’d done everything you could not to lose hope in him. Steve had tried not to lose hope, either, and in that moment it was completely restored. He had his girl back, the girl he’d been dreaming about every single day and night and every time he closed his eyes. He’d even told Peggy about you, how much he missed you, and finally she had told him that he needed to go home. He’d never been more grateful in any of his lifetimes.

           “I couldn’t leave my favorite girl.” He smiled a little, through his tears, and when you laughed, he swore it was the greatest sound he’d ever heard. You moved your head a little and he used the opportunity to kiss you, hard, until he ran out of breath. You shut your eyes again, trying to take him in. He had his hand moving against your scalp, slowly massaging the back of your head to get you to come back down to Earth.

           “I thought…” You sighed and stopped talking. You tugged on his shirt to pull him down to your level, where you kissed him again and again. You tasted like the strawberry lip balm you put on every night before bed. You kissed until you were absolutely breathless again.  

           “I love you,” he said softly. “More than anything. You’re the only future I want. You’re the only past I want. And you’re the only present I can imagine.” He sniffled when he felt the metal on your neck through the shirt you were wearing, his shirt. He felt absolutely nothing but pride inside of him when he realized you’d kept them on all that time. You believed him.

           “I tried not to doubt you, but…”

           “I know. But, hey. No doubts now, right?” He gave you a hopeful, tearful smile as he held you.

           “No doubts now.”

A/N: I am literally crying right now. Why am I like this? For extra salt in the wound, listen to Gale Song by the Lumineers like I did. I hope you enjoy 💙