#i own that hashtag try me
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2021 joost klein scares me, he looks like a gay fashion icon..
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This is purely speculation on my end, but I've noticed that it seems like people (specifically younger queer people, partially under forty) are so used to queerphobes indignantly saying, "you have the right to marry, what more can you want?! Why do you shove it down our throats?!" that they internalize the idea that gay marriage and other rights were only fought for for queer assimilation.
The push for things like gay marriage wasn't just "to assimilate," and especially after the AIDs crisis, you very well could watch your lover or friend or mentor die in front of you and have no recourse. No protections. No guarantee that you could even say goodbye. Learning that - as a young queer myself - hammered home how important these things can be. To get where we are now didn't happen because of the magical benevolence of the cishets. We fought for that shit. We died for that shit.
Again, this is speculation, but I don't think young queers (even me) will truly understand the scope of queer history. It takes effort to learn about this, but it is an effort worth pursuing every single time. At the least, we owe it to honour the people who came before us who have sacrificed so much. We owe our communities that much, at least.
#queer#lgbt#lgbtq#politics#it just irks me to see the 'why werent queers of the past trying to move to reprioritize marriage 🙄'#it gives off the same vibes as 'why transition? shouldn't you abolish gender altogether🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄. hashtag owned!'#it's just...please learn about history. even the aids crisis ALONE was harrowing to learn - but it's so important#i don't see assimilation as what you do per se but rather what you believe in#queer assimilation isn't getting married and having kids - it's (to me) an attitude of queerness#it's devaluing queerness and thinking of it as lesser - so you will distance yourself intrinsically from it#maybe that's the same to some people but i don't see it that way#and even then the conversion of this alone is nuanced and complicated#instead of blaming an individual i tend to blame the systems in place that lead people to devaluing themselves and who they are
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thinking about dean growing up and putting everything before himself. hunting and his brother and his dad and his dad’s revenge quest for their mom. he doesn’t matter. he is entirely irrelevant. thinking about dean internalising this as just what you do, just how people behave and how they should behave. him viewing selfish as the worst thing you can possibly be.
then thinking about sam growing up and fighting. brave enough to challenge their father and rebel against him and voice something different, brave enough to focus on what he wants. dean seeing this and it stings - he could never do that. how is sam acting like that? he can’t believe that’s the right way to behave. so sam must be selfish, just in believing he has any right to his own life.
dean sublimates himself for the family and expects sam to do the fame, and his resentment and jealousy that sam doesn’t turns into anger and making sam out to be the mean one, the one in the wrong. and this never goes away. this is always what dean levels at sam - that he’s selfish, that in wanting to make his own choices he’s rejecting their family, rejecting dean……. awful. toxic. evil evil message to send to sam. entirely in character. dean wants to prioritise sam, would save him over the world. but he doesn’t care what sam wants.
selflessness isn’t always a charming character trait. it’s not the same thing as a generosity of spirit and it’s definitely not the same thing as being caring. sometimes selflessness just means you’re incapable of prioritising your life and incapable of understanding how anyone else could or should prioritise theirs. sometimes it means you still act selfishly, you just convince yourself you were objectively in the right, because doing something actually for yourself is unthinkable. sometimes it means you think the very act of having wants and boundaries is selfish, no matter whether they’re yours or anyone else’s.
anyway… thoughts on dean’s specific brand of awfulness regarding sam. what does it matter to him what sam actually wants? since when did it ever matter in the winchester household what anyone wanted? dean had to deal with things he didn’t want for the mission (for john). sam has to deal with things he doesn’t want for the mission (for dean). augh. the cycles
#& what do they get for that? sam gets punished repeatedly for being brave and attempting to have any sense of agency#it’s taken from him repeatedly by everyone around him. hes violated in every possible way. him wanting his own life is framed as selfishness#i can’t stop thinking abt this. Am i dean winchester am i on the pathway to becoming him#it makes so much sense now. of course sam is everything to me. i always always latch onto characters who fight who try to say fuck you i am#worth something. and that’s what sam tried to do. it just didn’t work. the story wears him down too much. augh.#the story + his abused/abusive brother#spn is a horror story#dean winchester#this is written with love but it is very much hashtag dean critical#spn#meta#supernatural#sam winchester#spn meta
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'trc adaptation is bad bc they mixed timelines and cut out lots of stuff' 'trc adaptation is bad bc they sanitised adam's bitchiness' 'trc adaptation is bad bc they made the ganseys democrats' NO TRC ADAPTATION IS BAD BC IT'S SET IN 2024 and not in 2001 like god intended!!
#trc#trc goncharov#like. even watching them trying to justify adam not having a phone was ridiculous. no matter what he just seems like ✨not like other girls#hashtag so quirky#oh also blue's wardrobe???? why is she dressed like tiktok 00s aesthetic girlie ffs? it doesn't work like that! she's not trendy!#she's a weirdo! she diys every outfit she wears she doesn't own a single black piece of clothing!#and can we talk abt adam changing outfits like 5678424 times during just first 4 eps that I've seen so far#like. be fr. look me in the eye. look me in the eye and tell me that boy owns more than 3 tshirts.#and i will not say anything abt gansey's yacht grandma wordrobe erasure bc everyone already said their piece.#it's just this trend of not allowing teenage characters be the cringe teens that they are#not you tho henry u did great no notes#and if ur asking what is henry doing there in the first season first of all ur racist second of all he's there to slay. next question#*yacht grandPA but u know what. another missed opportunity
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Odd to me that the whole "x trans group has it worse, actually" people seem to both be really optimistic about how cissexual cisgender society views trans people of every stripe, just about different groups. Like they don't see any of us as one of them. There's still regular degular transphobia and its fucking everpresent for literally every trans person there is. There's no passing so successful that you opt out of society beong transphobic on literally any side.
#i mostly think the hashtag transcourse or w/e on here is like. amusing and entertaining. because its always people trying to corner the#market on things that happen broadly to shitloads of groups that just don't usually also overlap with being white and middle class#but i was sitting around offline and was thinking about something someone else had said on a post that was particularly stupid#and like was an argument on the 'transmisogyny is the worst oppression of any group' side that somehow managed to contradict one of the core#tenets of transmisogyny theory in the process#and it was just like. for such a cynical attitude you are really really optimistic about Society huh. you really think you can actually#pass hard enough and your acceptance will actually come huh.#hell even the concept and the way passing is approached in Trans Discourse TM vs in race theory is really something#eh im gonna quit running my mouth in the tags and go to bed bc i gotta be up in like 6 hours but last parting shot#why is everyone on here so obsessed with making Theories of Xyz that are like 'this is just a personal thing that applies to people' and not#Structural Analyses that Discuss Structures. like misogyny is a structural issue and its ingrained in every layer of our society its like.#an understood quantity that misogyny isnt just something that Happens To Women but a fundamental part of how power institutions etc are m#built and structured and why feminists of the past had to fight for things like the right to manage their own money and why women as a class#are disenfranchised relative to men as a class. right#how is it that everyone hotly debating niche gay and trans and etc theories on here are incapable of discussing these things as structural#elements that play off of and feed into one another in lieu of making them into like personal things. that happen to you if you are#personally something or other but don't like permeate our society on a fundamental level somehow. the actual transmisogyny theories are#structural so why are you all so bad at it. i dont know if transandrophobia even has a theory and if it has any structural critiques i#havent seen them personally#like idk its just fucking funny to me. and kind of weird.#why claim to be super adherent to one structural critique and philosophy and then refuse to engage with the structural results of that#structural criticism. are you even reading what you're riffing off.
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ngl it’s genuinely kinda crazy how much of my life i have lost to mental illness :3 lol
#purrs#not time wise necessarily but like… aspect wise. like talking to my friends and pursuing hobbies and doing things that give my life meaning#and the very nature of the mental illness reinforces the detachment and fills me with so so so much shame for having lost these things that#it deters me from fighting to get it back. i feel like my life has gotten so gaunt since covid hit and sometimes it occurs to me how many#terrible things ahve happened and how im still pushing forward and everything is fine except for when i Remember. im feeling it now mr krab#delete later#like i used to be someone who hung out with my friends at least once a week and texted back and wrote poetry and played piano and kept my#room clean and took great care to stay organized and connected. and now at my own hands i am spiralling through space. im fighting my way#out of the quicksand i really think i am trying to but im still very much in the quicksand 😻#side note idk if anyone else is having this problem but lately tumblr has been adding two hashtags to tags which keeps knocking off an#extra character to the end of my tags and it’s fucking annoying. i meant *krabs not krab lol
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speaking of the swana region look at my own personal hcs for some parts of Pandora :3!
For the highlands, im thinking abt Levantine mountain ranges :3
and The Dust reminds me of Syrian deserts
and ofc i love hollow point being in a city in a cave, it reminds me a lot of how older civilizations in Jordan/Palestine resided in caves! Most notably the ancient city of Petra!
#ewbie.txt#hiiii rubs my arab hands all over half your planet. mine now.#again. personal hcs. but captain scarlett being from pandora + sasha fiona being described as meditteranean....hehe!#the whole point being corporations trying to take over a planet... me omg thats just like recent history of my own homeland! weow!#obviously my part of the world isnt the only part of the world that looks like this but see above. and thats my inspo LOL#this is just for hashtag fun. also my OCs are from the highlands! and also also. that mountain range is very close to where my moms from#i was just there last august :')!#also rbs are turned off because i dont want ppl to laugh at me or be racist which has sadly happened last time i talked abt this so. womp.#but ily guys :) <3! any questions or anything im open to talk abt :3 this is just a few minute google search nothing srs#<3
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and i lie mentally to make myself feel better but that just bites me in the ass oughhh
#i don’t wanna be a failure I’m petrified but i have been lazing around for 2 weeks like what the hell is wrong with me😭!!!!!!#graduated no. 4 out my class and I’m just sitting here on the toliet trying to cry one out for once omg#kinda anime🤓 nah.#i srsly need to fix myself. im being perceived by my own instructors prob. terrifying aughhh i rly hope they understand#im so sick eughhh and merch buying doesn’t even help I haven’t been able to enjoy it at all#this is so hard im scared but i need to do smth abt this now#i hate honors system. that can literally fuck so many students up im so serious#sorry i needed to vent somehow#hashtag embarrassing !
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This week's Outsiders fucked heavily imo
#anyways yeah i took it as a metaphor...#dont think it was the one intended because idk the authors views and also feel like theres a lot of personal opinion in my own#interpretation bc it plays into my haterisms or whatever but like.#idk dark multiverse duke had a point. batman is infecting everything and honestly going kind of crazy trying to destroy him is such a valid#response. like hashtag relatable we've all been there bestie#no but him yelling out to luke abt how hes gonna destroy batman he promises and then just the dimension or whatever those words were being#like 'its never the end' like true actually. it never ends#anyways no clue whats going on w the mystery stuff at the end (kind of the point) but 👀#anyways good job comic for getting me engaged and sitting up in my seat after a mid start tbh#blah#not me making my entire post/review in the tags here instead of the actual post again rip#whatever idrc#dc comics#tuesday spoilers
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i love it when shit happens in my life that dredges up old wounds and coincidentally im re-experiencing the media i intrinsically link it to cause then i get to remember exactly why i love it and find it so meaningful all over again. there's a fucking reason ill always say Berserk [& RGU] both came into my life at a perfect fucking time and holy shit they fucking resonated with me so hard and as much as life can suck ass and lovvves kicking me in the balls when ive just recovered from last time i a least get to remember how & why i love something so much.
#thebirdspeaks#ive been trying to make a coherent post about Berserk and specifically the duality of Casca and Guts as victims post eclipse#because there are issues but also it resonates so well with me regardless#i cant word it pretty but i think its something about Casca and Guts both being victims and responding in opposite ways#and because they are so tightly linked you can almost see them as one victim experiencing the duality of victimhood#as an internal struggle made into two separate people#i flip flop between who i relate to more in relation to my own trauma#and there is plenty to criticize with the writing choices around Casca dont get me wrong#but as much as people criticize her mind breaking and turning into a shell of herself that needs constant help as something entirely negati#i sure as fuck was not given that space and care to be broken#its very nuanced but i think so few people write victims sympathetically that as much as turning into a mess can appear overdone#being cared for and given space and help and being allowed to be a burden is a powerful thing#and i find the expectation to be strong in the face of what you went though is much more common and damaging to me#anyway as many issues as i have i think Casca being allowed to be a victim as much a she was is why i love Berserk so much and while i thin#it could be better if some things were changed#but im not sure if it would have hit as hard and meant as much to me when i was wobbling between mindless rage and want for revenge#and just being broken and tired and weak and scared#reading Guts protect Casca like he did#showed me that that part of me could protect and is better off channeling the mindless rage into protecting whats important to me and what#needs it#letting me demand protection and love and sympathy for my weakest self in my darkest hours#i know im far from objective & my opinions are not universal#but the fact Casca is allowed to be a victim so fully and not just a hashtag girlboss who struggles her way out#well i wouldn't call Guts a girlboss but actually i think that's why it worked.#because between the two they cover the two ends of the common depictions of victimhood: forced to stay strong and allowed to be weak#anyway im about to hit tag limit i love you f you read this far and if you think this is horseshit then please don't say#if you think im right and sexy about it pile the love on meee<3
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a weird little thing abt me is i will definitely mock shitty ai art but it never feels right doing it about the hands simply by virtue of the fact that a lot of them look indistinguishable from the hands i was doing years ago when i first got a drawing tablet
#like id have the right number of fingers obv but like. putting the thumb on the wrong side#fingers bending weird directions or connecting in weird places#weird anatomy at joints‚ freaky nails‚ bad proportions‚ bad perspective‚ etc etc etc#people say 'this isnt ai like in sci-fi its just machine learning' but to me its a lot more interesting to look at it as#'this isnt ai like in scifi /yet/'#like yeah the stuff ai does in fiction isnt possible at this point but like. i find it difficult not to wonder if this#is the ai version of infancy stages yknow? like.#ppl go 'its cant write its own stuff its just recycling stuff its been fed' as if thats not kinda how people . learn to talk?#idk i just find it hard to agree with arguments that act like where we currently are at is the furthest these technologies could possibly#evolve in our lifetimes#'it just makes things up' you mean like toddlers going on long winding rambles about unicorns and monsters or w/e#'it cant do art good' you mean like a child? or even just literally Anyone who doesnt know how to draw yet?#like. idk. i feel like people are trying very very hard to insist the ai of today is still the same as it was in the clevverbot days#and that its impossible to evolve any further#people want to cling to the old days when ai stuff didnt pass the turing test by a much wider marging than it tends to now#dont want to admit that it does indeed sometimes surpass the turing test and likely would be able to even moreso were it#not for restraints#(see: that one stock trading ai that did insider trading vs various chatbots not bring allowed to write disparaging things#about copyrighted people or w/e)#if ai stuff was still truly indistinguishable from human works then we wouldnt need to spend so much time#hashtag exposing things as being ai generated#and i just think its bad to‚ in pursuit of that‚ mock things that are like. just stuff all beginner artists struggle with#i guarantee you there is not a single artist out there who hasnt drawn a hand that made them want to curl up and die at least once.#i got very off-topic there but swung it back around at the end there so. hashtag win#origibberish
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gonna be going to bed soon,, goodnight uu silly little beings ily all soo much . snoremimimi
#�� the fool speaks#i feel i should erm . try to talk less abt wanting romance tmrw . since i feel I've been doing it a lot ??#or more than usual st least but idk my perception of my own actions isn't that great sometimes#but it slso feels like if i stop mentioning wanting love confessions all the lovey anons r gonna go away . . .#but i wanna talk to them !! n i guess if they're actually hashtag real aqua valentin vow woya cicada xipe mioara angeltism aquariium-ediits#fans then they wouldn't stop just cuz i try to nawt outright fish for adoration as much riiight . . .#but i dunno :( i wanna keep talking to all the dear crushnons who've been talking to moi <3#if any of uu r seeing this thennn . don't be afraid to send me asks ! the sappier the better ! /silly#idk I'd love to keep talking to the silly billies who've been oh so nice to moi ~ even if it's just simple stuff like asking eachother#random ass questions ? i guess ? fufu#umm . bhtanwayssysysusuuf im so eepy im the eepers snooore mimimi homk shoo honk shoo
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so me and my friend are onto season 4 of X-files now and we got to the csm-centric episode, right. and when he put the sniper rifle up from the window at the start I was like "whoa there. jfk assassination much?"-- and then the flashback starts and wouldn't you fucking know it, csm was the one who killed jfk??
this made me joke about how "what is he, the dark version of forrest gump or something? lmao" (ie. being present at a bunch of historical happenings), and then it seems like I was right because after that, he killed martin luther king too... aND TH E N towards the end, they make a fuckin forrest gump reference???
guys I think I'm finally becoming psychic
#x-files#anyway good season so far#'the field where I died' was another good one#this ep was fun too ngl cause I'm afraid I love to hate this guy#I love how it shows how /weak/ csm actually is#seems like he just gets swept up in shit all 'okay I guess I'm doing this now (hashtag powertrip)'#dude has all the agency over a bunch of others but he has no agency over himself#he couldn't even resist the peer pressure to start smoking. bruh#and he couldn't even follow through with it when he tried to /stop/ smoking either#and then when he thought he was gonna get a big break as an author and was like 'fuck yeah I'll resign from the evil job now'#..but then the editors changed the ending when publishing it so he was like 'nvm. fuck everything. violent path it is then'#that whole thing reminded me so much of john in Saw X too when he thought he'd been cured-#-so he threw away the trap-sketches he was making. guy was gonna straight up quit being jigsaw bc he thought he would get to live after all#wait a sec.... john has cancer and is a villain... csm is called 'cancerman' and is also a villain........ [connecting dots in my mind rn]#but yeah um-- back to what I was saying- this ep somehow made csm a bit less infuriating for me?#cause now we got to see that actually he doesn't have everything under control. in fact it's like he barely has a will of his own#bro has zero conviction. barely any willpower. no life. if he fails at something once- that's it. he'll quit trying forever#he's literally a loser. we love to see it#(also wtf I didn't think deep throat would be the one who argued FOR killing that alien while csm was the one who questioned it?)#(but deep throat SAID to mulder later that he regretted the things he'd done an d he helped the good guys in the end so....)#(deep throat had his redemption arc. love that guy....except for when he killed the alien. that wasn't cool)
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you watch idiot teens try and recreate kink dynamics in five or six different communities, fandoms, and/or subcultures before you reach some point in your twenties hopefully and are like
fuck it, im going to hang out with the other cool adults who aren't terrified of the words top, bottom, and/or dominant. rofl. lmao even. get over yourselves and stop pissing your pants over the thought that other people might fuck and get excited about it. im moving to fetlife
#can't catch me now suckers!#original post#i quit kinkstagram because there were so many annoying teenagers into 'age regression'#more in a minute but like#do not piss your diapers about the fact that#hashtag age regression means something different#to most other people on that site. who are adults.#i wasnt even on for cgl lmao it was just irritating to see these little jerks crying in the kink tags all the time#anyway#the point i want to make with this example is that they're clearly traumatized and find doing more kiddish stuff comforting#you know like the adults?#if you don't get that part you're getting distracted by the diapers too but it's so fucking funny#they seem to have like a whole parallel caregiver/little community with their own terms for the exact same stuff#but very studiously nonsexual#i don't seek this out because im not personally interested in their probably also-horny business (they are teens)#but again they are screaming at you for 'crosstagging' with anything remotely cutesy#i just left rather than trying to waste my time or seriously upset anyone
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what are you hiding?
#mixed media#the prompt was paint something hidden and try to make marks that you've never made before. which I think is impossible#at least for me.....#hashtag been there done that#but i started with writing in white colored pencil#the only thing i could think.... “what are you hiding”#and then went over it in black water color#i made my own scratch art part#and used a new pencil that i didnt realize was water soluble#which produced cook effects#but i think this piece looks very much like me#norm.allie#artfull.allie#college owns
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william has always focused more on the future than the past or present — so he says. teasing others for their sentimentality, rolling his eyes at any of his loved ones who get a little too weepy over past memories. but he clings to the past in a different way: he gets bitter over what he was, annoyed that he can’t change his old ways. sometimes that resentment will grip him hard and he won’t emerge in a good mood until days later. mostly he’s thinking about how wasted the past feels: the missed opportunities, the passing of precious time. if only he’d done more. if only he’d been a little harder - working. etc. while he prefers only to talk about the future and his grand plans, the past is very much a large part of his fear of death & determination to have more time. he rarely thinks about the present and the time he’s wasting through useless experiments or neglecting his family at all.
#(u) william talking tag#fave tag to throw things in :3#tw death#tw thanatophobia#(( this is sponsored by me. literally just by my own fears. we ball ))#(( well except i don’t try to cheat desth i go to therapy . hashtag rune supremacy ? ))
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