#i ordered a lot of clothes too Tumblr posts
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my new bjds have arrived i can’t wait to pick them up tonight after work <3
#i've bought my very first one during my trip in japan#im in love she's a bunnybunny potpourri shes the cutest thing#and ive ordered two second hand ones on vinted#theyre legit i checked#one from loong soul shes absolutely gorgeous fell in love with her face too#and a blank one from dream of angels so i can practice faceups im soexcited!!!#this one was quite cheap and old so i wont be afraid to mess up lol#im so exciiiteeeeed#and clothes#i ordered a lot of clothes too#i may have a problem lol#bjd#elequinoa#3615 ma life
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I haven't had the capacity to maintain much of a presence online for years, though I'd really like to..! 🦊 But, I've managed to live a little, at least. I have some pretty pictures from my most recent boyfriend visit to share ✨🦊💦
I graduated university two years and a bit ago now, and I think I was planning to post about it in some way, but it left me so crumpled I couldn't muster the will to do it until the season had long passed... Moving out and out again has heaped heavy on top of that, too...
Hopefully I can get around to posting the little things I've made and done, and scrape together the effort to make more, too 🦊💖
When I get that far, you'll be able to find me and my stuff on foxy.gay (in addition to here and twitter horpfully) (it's currently just a bsky redirect, but i love to make website :3)
#hi#i miss the time when i interacted with folks on tumblr#and rambled in the tags of every reblog#i have no job or responsibilities#but even so my days feel too short and my energy too low#i still have the ambition though#i have things to make and fun to create#i went to university first and foremost to learn what i needed to make games and programs and websites#and. well. that was probably the worst way to learn it. if im honest.#but i did learn it either way. i wish so dearly to put it to use#yes that is beloved internet lion shanghai-ohmy with the matching rings#yes i kiss him every day when we are together. obviously#🦊❤️🦁#it has been a lot of fun getting to wear clothes and outfits i really love with his help#(and the help of Seattle weather + all the other freaks and weirdos on those streets 💝)#i posted this on twitter months ago#but convinced myself i wanted to have my website ready before posting it here...#but. i need to just post it and not let myself get hung up on doing stuff in order#pom#sam#myself
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yea
#txt#i gotta bitch rq cos im pissed sorry guys#i hate tht u dont remember none of the shit u did. i hate tht u make jokes about it even. i hate tht it feels like im always the one#to wear the burden of iron wrought weights so tht u can learn how to mellow out and not do the same to my sister#‘you opened up a lot of doors for your sister’#yea cool im glad u chilled out and didnt also kick my sister out of the house while she was 1200 miles away with nothing but the clothes on#her back. yea cool im glad u didnt threaten disowning when she got a piercing. yea im glad she didnt have to sit thru the ordeal of u when#i first came out to u. im glad she didnt have to have our dead dad used as a damn weapon against her when she told you shes a lesbian#im glad you never sat her down and berated her for being queer for three hours and then sent her to her hole only to send her a long winded#email about how awful she is to you for being queer and how no one will be able to recognize or love her#i still have that email btw#im glad you came to me to ask for help when she was suicidal depressive instead of blaming her and insulting her and making awful#assumptions and insinuations about her#im glad you asked for help for her#but why couldnt you have been a mom to me too#why did i have to teach you all the wrong ways to handle situations so that you could handle them rigjt with her#why did i have to be the one to lockpick all of the doors in order to open them for her#whyd you have to put the locks on there in the first place#why werent you ever a mom to me#why wasnt i allowed to have parents growing up#whyd you have to hurt me since the time before i could make cohesive thought#why werent you a mom for either of us until you realized how heavily you screwed up with me#why did it take you losing me completely for you to start being a mom to my sister?#why did it take you losing me completely for you to finally listen to me instead of talk about why im wrong#im glad to have a mom now#but i couldve used a mom when i was a kid#why do you have to turn it into jokes#and why am i not allowed to be upset
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Some obligatory hiatus doodles
#amontag#vincenttag#soniasanderstag#vincent's waterproofing in action! He got a haircut recently but his mohawk is as stubborn as his personality.#Also a very rare moment of introspection from vince here. he's sorting things out. just a PSA here though I doubt I will ever make him date#Way too many things going on with him to consider a relationship of all things. He can have friends and family though :3#Amon has a few other forms. I was considering doing this sooner but now I'm extra happy with the idea#Why does he only have three? why only apex predators? that's some lore I'll divulge at a different time#He uses his croccy form most- including when he's humanoid because it's most convenient. No shedding and lots more defense#he can tank bullets and quickly get down to business too. not to mention his croc-form dulled his emotions when it came to his old work#even when he looks 'human' he is always in one of those three forms. He also dislikes getting fur in his clothing.#Adra has a similar influence from these powers but doesn't have any shifting. More like little characteristics#Vincent usually covers Amon's lack of speed and evasiveness while Amon covers Vincent's lack of defense and (comparative) strength.#They bounce off of each other's vibes way too well sometimes but can get the job done in a chaotic but efficient way. Sera buddies them up#She sometimes carries missions with Amon because of his previous experience and range of powers for certain missions.#vincent doesn't like taking orders from Ser specifically but has surprisingly learned the concept of restraint and polity from amon.#ARK_SYSTEMA#art#artwork#digital art#my art#my artwork#MY OCs#original character#OC#my OC#OC art#Illustration#digital illustration
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my day was nice but I spent a bit much
#found these two shirts that are PER-FECT for how I want to start dressing from now on#it's really hard to find fancy clothes that actually fit me well#so I just had to get them#I'm pretty sure tomorrow's flights are redeyes so hopefully I'll make it back in milage money lol#but yeah. nice day. I felt cute.#my makeup was so on point today that one of the members of the crew I shared the van with told me I was pretty??!#just. unprovoked.#they were all super nice lol too bad they're not my crew#so yeah. now I'm gonna order my favorite poke that is ALSO only available in brasília and then read some fanfiction#wow there's a lot of stuff I like that's only in brasília#maybe I should stop saying I hate this place lol#rambles*
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the dollar store did not have much for felt or fabric but i managed to scrounge everything i needed except for guz.ma's skin colour :(
i CAN make the janitor since they had a peach colour but I'll have to look around the house again to see if i can find anything that might work for guz's skin tone
#mannn dhfjfl unfortunately mother just did an amazon order the other day too#I could've added a bolt of the right colour felt to her order but i thought the store would have their big selection of felt sheets still 😭#they just had like... a big pile of felt and fabric all mixed together ?? idk what happened to their nice organized shelf :(#and they only had a little bit of felt fjdkdl it was mostly random patterned fabric#which would be fine and fun IF i had the skin bases done already bc then I'd just make silly little clothes for them#but unfortunately i need... the skin bases first fjfkfl to fit the clothing to#i dont have a good yarn colour for him either bc then I'd just crochet a base fhfkdl but AUGHH#I have ... acrylic paint thats the right colour or a little darker i think. and pillows that im going to use for stuffing#so maybe if i take the stuffing out of one of the pillows then i can dye the fabric with acrylic paint ...#I've done that before when i couldnt find the right colour fabric for a project a couple yrs ago#so i know it works decently well 🤔 depends on how sturdy the pillow material is i guess hmmm#i think i might have a spare white pillowcase if the pillow fabric itself isnt sturdy enough ... HMMM this might still be doable#theres nothing like having very little access to supplies bc of money and small town to inspire creativity LMAO#u learn how to do a lot of weird shit dbdhfkfl necessity inspires ingenuity or whatever the saying is#(with all that said - if anyone ever has a craft project theyre stuck on and want help figuring out how to do smth i may be of use LMAO)#dandy.cmd
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spent a billion dollars on clothes only to try them on today and get really really upset because they fit my body in a way that reveals the shape of my body, something that all garments always do. hell, even non-garments like towels and blankets. can't believe this happened again. i'm so disappointed.
#it was even a mixed order where i had ''boy'' clothes and ''girl'' clothes#which if anything really highlighted that the issue was me#HATE buying clothes#like i paid a lot of money to experience this :(((#also i feel insane bc i'm not sending any of them back#but i know if i sent them back and bought more it would literally just happen again#UGH#adam talks too much
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auughh i want to do too many things theres not enough hours in the day or dollars in my bank account
#heres my list of things i want to do in no particular order#get a personal trainer/steady gym routine - archery - horseback - horseback archery - play the flute - learn german - play with synths#learn to drum - learn to sew - customize all my clothes - get into every conceivable music genre - build endurance for marathons?#reads lots of poetry and literature - study philosophy and comparative lit - learn to brew my own beer (sorry lol)#i want to get back into russian impressionist art movements and composers - space technology history - honestly early american history is#rly interesting#i also want to maybe take a drawing class or teach myself the basics bc i can attempt things but dont actually know what doing - also paint#TO BE HONEST ALSO TAI CHI.. oh and i want to grow my own garden/herbs/make tea blends#not to mention. socializing ever.. like going to coffee shops and indoor rock walls and concerts#AND IM A TRAINED HERBARIUM CURATOR i could press my own specimens and mount them professionally. have a collection#my vinyl collection will continue to grow and i should try CDs too - and i want to learn tape manipulation te#ch. because why not#but i also need time in the day to wallow in solitude and darkness#Do You See My Problem
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kinda hate that my go-to non-merch clothing store choices are vans and hollister like we GET it im fucking californian
#their shit is surprisingly good quality and they often have good sales what can I say#but yeah also it’s a style thing. if I’m not dressing like a scene kid im dressed like a california santa cruz ass sk8r boy or surfer boy#i just ordered a few new things from hollister and im looking forward 2 it because the ripped jeans I got last year from there are like.#the best jeans I’ve owned since outwardly transitioning#which. I guess doesn’t say much on the surface cause I’ve only had like. three pairs of jeans in that time. but LOOK it IS significant#because finding jeans that fit right as a trans guy- even one who’s almost 2 years on t- can be a Struggle.#that + my weight = it’s difficult to find places that carry men’s pants in my size a lot of the time (26w x 30l)#sometimes a 28w fits depending on the place but. yeah it’s usually closer to 26. I have a tiny waist and decently longish legs#not complaining I like that about myself generally and I’m definitely thankful I’m somewhat close to average male height (only 2 inches#under the average in the us- im 5’7) but still#in other news I still need a new binder (preferably two really) but now I’m worried I spent too much money on the pants and stuff#I need a fucking job. so. bad#at least I have excuses for the hollister order- really good sale + I needed new pants and a business casualish shirt for job/job interview#related stuff. I cant keep wearing my fucking funeral clothes to job interviews and the pants I was using fit Bad#kibumblabs#no one needed to know all this I am just rambling in my diary that is tumblr dot com don’t mind me
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starting to think im a bard of void instead of being a knowledge class. i have the whole bardic crisis thing (oct 13 2013. sunday) the whole opposite aspect thing before that (Gifted Kid TM where part of my personality was bring smart. is very lightcore) and just how i seem to destroy everything i touch.
my aversion to lying and how terrible i am at it because its on a physical level in my body and i have to script it in advance (yes this is mostly autism) and not liking to keep secrets and being a blabbermouth. destroying void.
destroyed by void. getting FADED with weed. self isolation and most of my time being spent gaming or on the computer/phone. my awful terrible recurring dreams (dreams are void) that i have a fucking tag for. but the horrors have become almost mundane with how repetitive they are in my dreams and thats why i dont call them nightmares
#le p2iigh#the 'this classpect perfectly describes all my flaws' type of classpecter#no but my dreams are always like. im in school and i dont know why they wont let me drop out.#dont know if its college or What. but sometimes my former therapist is there. the one i had a crush on.#thats a thing i have with male mentor/teacher figures because of a Very Specifc Reason#other things that are always in my dreams. my dorm on the 3rd floor im always trying to figure out what clothes to wear whats clean#packing so i can go to the house that im living at that is specifically not home. wondering when i can go home to check on the cats#wondering why home looks so different its almost unrecognizable. my uncle is there. always. mom always has something Wrong with her#things being on fire near wherever im staying like next door across the street. most recently like the whole neighborhood.#not beating the doom player allegations with these descriptions.#heres more void coded things abt the dreams. being in/around bodies of water. theres one particular river i go to a lot its past some woods#the woods area separates the river and i walk upstream until i come across the widest part and the initial fork#theres always various Creatures in the water that im scared of.#this happens whenever im on the coast and in the ocean too. except sometimes theres stuff that wants to eat me#and thats not counting the kinnie dreams. either its ocean stuff that reminds me of being link.#or its like. i guess side order levels or something. and also more cursed than usual salmon run. on cursed stages. eels chasing me#(obvoiusly the agent 8 kinnie dreams)#my real life anxieties about the cat litter and taking a shower meaning i dream about having to do those things.#trying to find a place to lie down and sleep that feels comfortable for me but its impossible#thats. most of the recurring things in my dreams. my brain is tired and i interrupted myself doing Tasks for this.#i didnt expect to ramble about the recurring nature of all of these dream things. and obviously the tag is going here#adventures in losap#< the dream tag
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i high key think my paretnrs might be getting divorced :((( they have been fighting basically every night since i can remember but they always fought so i just accepted it but they started to go sleep at other people’s houses more and mum went away for almost a week and dad keeps going on work trips and tonight is the first time this has happened for two times in a row dads car is just missing and they keep fighting always always always i sometimes can’t go to sleep bcs they are always talking and mum is always crying now even though the entire time before i was 10 she cried only once in front of me and that was when grandad died. my mum literally had to take my therapy appointment (which i really really needed bcs ive been feeling like absolute shit lately) for herself because she was feeling awful. its all dads fault i really dont like my dad anymore he was never emotionally present when i was younger and he’s still barely emotionally present now. i think there is a very good reason his first marriage went badly and i think there’s a very good reason that for almost 2 years all my stepsisters hated my dad and i think there’s a very good reason why the girls stopped coming over for weekends but its not like my mum is perfect she always defends my brother im always in the wrong when i get in trouble and shes very generous with school and stuff but she enables josh and his awful behaviour i feel like i cant have shit in this house i cant wait to move out
#i don’t think it helps that a lot of the periodic self hate has come back#i think about being a man every day consistently#whenever i look in a mirror whenever i put on clothes whenever i even feel clothes on my skin#i genuinely felt so awful wearing shorts today bcs i felt like everyone was judging me and thinking i looked awful#ive really fallen into this awful pit of self hate and i just dont know how to stop it#like ill look in a mirror and my forehead is too big my skull is too big my shoulders are to broad my hair is dogshit my adams apple is sji#my nose is shit my eyebrows are shit my lips are shit my chin is shit my ribcage is giant my hands are big my elbows are big#i feel so fat and awful and ugly and it’s just so ughhh#ive started seriously trying to lose weight again and ive dropped 2 kilos but i still feel the same if not worse#i feel like ill be happy at 50kg but deep down i know that ill never be happy with my weight#ive started to call myself a freak and a tranny in my head consistently which isnt good#i feel like everything i do socially is so awkward#i feel like everyone secretly hates me but they are just being polite because im that much of a freak that i need sympathy#the stupid self deprecating jokes and suicidal ideation that i thought i killed years ago are all coming back#at least now i have plans to diy#even if it’s 4 months after questioning and 2 months after coming our#i get some money in cash as well as some ritalin for exams and give it to aspen and they order it for me online#hopefully that goes well bcs there’s not a whole lot else going for me
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"give me a beer, a lullaby, and a word in my ear" -guy at a speed dating event in my dream
#dream log#also had a dream that this green alien came up to me on the street and like wanted me to pick it up and take it somewhere#the like video game objective changed to#changed to go home#but i didnt know where that was so i just started running#but as i. running the alien is like bouncing and it starts blushing#and later when i put in down to kind ageg my bearings its like super wet#between the legs and im like. oh man i think i need to fuck this thing#and i know theirs a game mechannic where you can have sex in bushes and stiff but im like 'no ill just go home first' but when i pick the#alien back up i get a 'failed objective' notification cause i never made it home i guess :(#and another dream. i was back in middle school math. there was a seat that was right infront of and right next to two people i was friends#with plus super close to my crush (other side of my friend) and there was a guy sitting there#but he was like. literally a fly. so i snapped and he just dropped dead.#and i got to sit there. my friend then was like “see this?” and pointed to her lip#and i wa slike “yeah” even though i didnt see anything#and she was like “you can hide a lot of your burdens but you cant hide a hickey” and i was like. man. am i supposed to do somehting sbout#that? idk im pretty sure this is a dream. did she actually say this to me before? am i supposed to do somehting now?“. but then the dream#ended#THEN these are out of order but then i had a dream i was in some sort of summer camp thing? people kept going home. my friend M. went home#home and left me a bunch of her clothes. one of the guys asked some sort of question about sleeping with him. and i was like “no? lol.”#then i invited a different guy to come watch me change and that first guy was i guess also in the room and was like “you know people can se#you through the window right?“ and i was like ”duh. its ohio. thats kinda the point.“#so. whatever that one means.#THEN last one THEN my cousin drove me to an abandoned trailer to explore and it had “too lo” or something spray painted on it or somehting#so then he finished the word to say “too long” or somehting of that nature. and then spray panted the handle of the door blue#and we went in side but the inside was all done up? like really fucking fancy#the kitched was completely lainted in this van gogh style and my cousin goes “this isnt haunted... its fixed up.”#so wel left. i think be showed me something else before that too but i dont remember#in the summer camp one i spent a long time trying to find these snake/pomegranate earings? they were blue abd green
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Guys I have a job interview at a law office and I don’t have a single fucking thing to wear
#i have NEVER interviewed for a corporate job ever. i’ve only ever worked in education and hospitality#i’ve interviewed for medical as well (receptionist) but didn’t get it#i’m so scared for it because i Know i’m not put together enough. i basically look like i’ve recently transformed from wolf to human#at all times. stray hairs and dishevellment and loose clothes with no buttons etc#i have a pair of formal trousers but i think they’re too baggy on me now and make me look like i have a weird crotch situation happening?#and regardless do i want to be wearing black trousers in the middle of august#also i don’t have a good shirt to go with them. i mean i have two white button downs but they’re both kind of sheer#i could do a tank top and light coloured bra underneath and hope for the absolute fucking best#i do also have a black button down but that doesn’t fit me well either#i could tuck it in? but i feel i’ll look like a waiter in an italian restaurant#my biggest worry is actually shoes. i have no shoes. i ordered a pair of flats from vinted and i just hope to god they’ll arrive in time#and fit okay. otherwise i might have to wear boots#i could wear a dress and tights. i have this long beige dress that’s more elegant than i’m making it sound right now#that plus tights plus jewellery COULD work#i have a lot of jewellery and a bag that looks a lot nicer than it is so i’m not worried about that#i’m mostly worried about my nails; my hair and my face in roughly that order#i’m a chronic nail biter. i just dug up some of that polish that makes them taste bad and i’m going to apply it day and night#til the interview. and trim off anything that looks weird#my hair i’m going to leave down because when i put it up i end up looking like i have a disproportionately small head#so i just have to hope it’s not a windy day and my hair doesn’t decide to do anything appalling#i guess i could tie it up until i actually get to the office#my skin.. i don’t know how to do makeup so i don’t try. right now i have a cold and my period so i’m breaking out really bad#i just have to hope all of this clears up. and do my skincare routine#god it’s exhausting. it’s exhaustiiiiing and they probably won’t even hire me. and if they do i probably won’t be able to do the job#can you imagine me answering the phones at a law office? if anyone’s rude to me i’ll probably just hang up and then cry#i have to try it though because if i keep working from home i’m going to have a psychotic break#and it’s a short bus ride from my house. so there’s that#personal
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I love shopping for rings and discovering that my fingers are too fat to try any on and order from websites 🥲
#something something ‘my hands do a lot for me I should t be ashamed’#something about legit jewelers being able to order and resize rings anyways#I’m already too fat to try on most clothes at stores I can’t even try on jewelry???
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thinking about since canonically Geto is more popular with girls than Gojo he’s gotten used to them looking past him to get to Geto but what if Gojo and Geto are out for drinks with the other teachers one night and he gets approached by the reader but he thinks she’s just coming over to ask him for Geto’s number and so he prepares his ‘responsible best friend’ act and then SHE ASKS ABOUT HIM INSTEAD, ALL BLUSHY AND STUFF BECAUSE HE LOOKED LIKE HE WAS GONNA BRUSH HER OFF
AHH I LOVE HIM SM 😔😔😔
pairing: gojo satoru x reader | 1k words summary: fluff, pining, reader is a simp but same, satoru is a good wingman but he needs attention too, au ig bc suguru's alive LMAO, idiots in love? rheya's note: oh my god shut up this is so cute and YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT??? i can just imagine that he's gotten so used to judging whether or not the person is even worth suguru's attention before deciding to pass on his info...and after a while his brain just defaults to thinking that everyone wants suguru but he FORGETS that there are gojo girlies out there (me asf) !! thanks for the ask nonnie babes i love this idea so so much <33
OK SO
it's obvious that there are quite a few women at the bar eyeing the group. young, attractive teachers spending an evening trying to relax and take their minds off of the stress of jujutsu work. nanami is in deep conversation with shoko about something while ijichi quietly listens. further down the table utahime is quietly sipping her drink while mei mei orders another. shoko makes a comment and suguru bursts into unabashed laughter.
the flush of alcohol dusts over each of their cheeks, but satoru remans the only one who has barely touched his glass, the sting of the bitterness a little too harsh for him to enjoy. he opts for instead letting his eyes roam over the faces in the crowd, taking little notice of all the eyes and smiles sent in their direction.
well until he notices you anyway.
you're already looking in his direction curiously, face illuminated by the dim lighting of the bar as your friends giggle around you. when his eyes lock with yours, you immediately tear your gaze away, trying to play it off by immediately delving into conversation, though satoru can tell that there's a flush crawling up your neck now.
he doesn't look away though, too caught up in the crinkle of your eyes and the smile lines that grace your face as you laugh at something. a minute later you're looking back in their direction, and when you catch him staring, you turn away yet again.
satoru glances to his side, knowing that you're probably watching suguru take a sip of his drink and most likely falling for his charming smile.
typical and so predictable.
some time passes like this. you'll look, and turn away, and satoru will watch you do it over and over again. it isn't until a while later that satoru catches your friends pushing your shoulders and giggling, and he knows that they're urging you to come up and ask about suguru. you're shaking your head, the nervousness clear as day as your brows pinch. but eventually you succumb to peer pressure and stand up from your table, taking anxious strides towards him.
and usually, satoru will make a face or turn his back or do something to look as unapproachable as possible. because almost every person who comes up asking for suguru's contact info has been obnoxious as hell.
but you're quite pretty and you look sweet enough, and he doesn't think it'd be right to deter you.
suguru would probably like you too.
so satoru decides to let you try at least, and if you seem to be as nice as you look maybe he'd bridge the gap between you and his best friend.
you make your way up to him, and as soon as he finally gets a good look at you he's thinking you're a lot prettier up close.
dammit.
"hi," you say, face hot as you try your best to maintain steady eye contact with him. you look so nervous, fidgeting with the fabric of your clothes as you attempt to strike up conversation, and he doesn't have it in him to watch you struggle.
"yeah i can give you his number," he says, voice clipped as he tries to hide the disappointment in it. you watch him grab a napkin and begin scribbling something down, confusion clear as he hands you the digits.
"um…?" you look at the napkin and then at him. "sorry, whose number is this?"
satoru balks, lips parting as he mirrors your confusion. "uh…suguru's? the guy behind me?"
realization dawns on your face and you shift your weight from foot to foot.
"oh actually," you suck your teeth nervously, trying to hide behind an awkward little smile. "i came to talk to you."
satoru can only blink, cerulean eyes widening behind his glasses as he stares at you in surprise.
you take his silence as a bad sign, shoulders dropping and embarrassment settling in your frown as you look anywhere but his face. "s-sorry if that's weird. i don't wanna make you uncomfortable or anything so-"
he's grinning before he can stop himself, heart dangerously swelling with affection as he motions toward the empty stool next to him. "not weird at all."
the pleasant surprise on your face makes him bite back a chuckle, and you take the seat. "huh...i wasn't expecting you to be okay with it."
satoru raises a brow curiously, tilting his head. "why not?"
you shrug with a careless grin. "i had a feeling you were gonna brush me off from the moment i first looked over."
satoru winces, and he can practically feel suguru's knowing smirk on his back. he chooses to ignore that for now, eyes trailing over the mirth in your expression, and he can only smile helplessly. "no way in hell."
your laugh comes instantly, sweet and bright, and you take it as a sign to continue talking. satoru listens on, sipping his drink to hide his giddy smile and ignoring the sting of bitterness once again.
honestly, with the amount of sweetness he's just found, satoru would tolerate as much bitterness as he needed to.
#[𐐪— rheya’s writings. 𐑂]#gojo satoru x reader#jjk x reader#jjk fluff#gojo x reader#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jujutsu kaisen x reader#gojo satoru headcanons#gojo satoru#jujutsu kaisen#satoru x reader#satoru gojo x reader#jujutsu kaisen headcanons#gojo x you#jjk#jjk x you#gojo satoru x y/n#jjk fanfic#jjk season 2#geto suguru#satoru gojo#gojou satoru x reader#jjk gojo#gojo drabbles#gojo angst#jujutsu kaisen angst#gojo imagine#gojo#[𐐪— asks. 𐑂]
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Sunshine
AN: Hi my loves! So, this is the first installment of a oneshot series and I hope you’ll like it! Please don’t forget to tell me what you think!
Pairing: Logan Howlett x Female!Reader
Summary: The first ray of sunlight holds many promises.
Word Count: 2844
You were no stranger to the feeling of inadequacy.
For you it was around every corner; impossible to get away from at least for the last couple of years. Even now, in the clothes you had borrowed from your best friend in an attempt to look more formal and serious, you couldn’t help but feel way out of your element.
Yet in your humble opinion, the very intimidating mansion you were currently gawking at didn’t make this any easier.
Your heart was slamming against your chest as you tried to keep your breathing under control, your tongue shooting up to wet your dry lips, then you looked down when you felt a tug on your sleeve. Theo stared up at you with wide eyes, making your heart clench but you managed to give him a bright smile despite the fear clouding your mind, and crouched down to get to his eye level.
“Hey bean,” you said, pushing his round glasses up the bridge of his nose. “What’s going on?”
“What if they don’t like me?”
You gasped and pressed a hand over your chest, feigning shock.
“Are you kidding?” you asked. “They will absolutely adore you. I myself am more worried that they will love you too much.”
He blinked a couple of times in confusion. “Too much?”
You nodded fervently.
“Yeah!” you said. “And then I’ll have to fight everyone in there to get you to myself every weekend.”
That managed to make him giggle and you pretended to be offended, narrowing your eyes.
“You don’t think I could take them down?”
“Can you?”
“Why yes I can,” you said, sticking your nose in the air. “I just don’t like to brag about it because that’ll scare people off, you know?”
He smiled wide and you pinched his cheek, then turned your head when a pretty girl with gloves on her hands cleared her throat.
“Hi, I’m Rogue,” she introduced herself. “New enrollment?”
“Yeah,” you said after a beat. “Yeah, hi.”
“Professor is expecting you, please follow me,” she said and you stood up, then took Theo’s hand and followed her into the building.
The interior of the mansion was as gorgeous and intimidating as it was on the outside. Theo looked like he was nearly hypnotized -which made sense, your apartment had to be the size of a simple storage room in this place- and he stared at the ceiling with his mouth hanging open, his eyes darting around.
“I feel like you should know that because of the new policy Professor will need his parents’ signature in order to enroll him,” Rogue said, making you snap out of your haze before you cleared your throat.
“Um, I’m the parent.”
That made her pause only for a moment and she pulled her brows together, looking between you and Theo.
“Oh, sorry about that!” she said. “I just assumed…”
“No no I get that a lot, please don’t worry about it,” you assured her quickly, waving a hand in the air. “I had Theo the first year of college and—”
Never got to finish that year or the rest.
“As I said, I get that a lot.”
She gave you an apologetic smile, then stopped in front of a door.
“Wait a moment please,” she said, knocking on the door before stepping inside and Theo tugged at your sleeve.
“It’s so pretty here!” he whispered and you tried to swallow the nervous lump in your throat, then smiled at him.
“Isn’t it?” you whispered. “It’ll be fun to go to school here huh? The brochure said they even have a maze!”
“A maze?” he asked, his eyes widening behind his glasses. “Like in the movies?”
“Mm hm, just like in the movies,” you said. “And a lake!”
“Where is the lake?”
“I don’t know yet but they’ll show you,” you said and frowned when the thought hit you. “But you’re not going there without a teacher, alright?”
“Okay.”
“Pinky promise?”
“Pinky promise,” he said as you hooked your pinky with his and the door opened again.
“You can go in,” Rogue said and you thanked her, then turned to Theo.
“Don’t go anywhere, okay?” you asked and entered the huge office to see the man in the wheelchair behind the desk.
“Hello sir,” you said, your voice trembling slightly despite your best efforts as you approached him to shake his hand, then took the seat across from the desk.
“Hello,” he said with a calm smile. “I’m Professor Charles Xavier, we spoke on the phone. Y/N, isn’t it?”
“Yes sir,” you said. “Thank you for agreeing to see me.”
“Of course, it’s my pleasure,” he said. “I take it you’re here to enroll your son as we spoke?”
You nodded your head, fighting the urge to bite at your nails and took Theo’s file from his other school out of your backpack, then put it in front of him so that he could examine it.
“He’s um, he’s really good at math,” you said, stumbling over your words. “I don’t know if that’ll be helpful here but he’s—he’s very good at a lot of classes really.”
“I must admit, he is going to be the youngest student here and the fact that his power has shown itself this early on…” Professor Xavier trailed off, your stomach doing a painful flip. “We will have to work hard, but I’m confident that we can guide him and teach him how to use his abilities for good.”
You nibbled on your lip, clenching and unclenching your hands.
“I know it’s a boarding school but he’s not used to being away from me and I’m not used to being away from him,” you admitted, “You said on the phone that the students’ weekends are free?”
“Of course,” he said. “Some of our students only stay here on weekdays to attend their classes, and they spend their weekends with their parents.”
You let out a relieved breath. “Okay. That’s nice to hear.”
“I know you’re worried,” he said, his voice completely calm and soothing. “It’s very normal to be worried but trust me, you’re making the best decision for him.”
“I know,” you said, trying to convince yourself and him at the same time. “I’ve done a lot of research and—and I want him to be safe and this place seems like the best place to teach him how to be safe.”
Professor Xavier pulled out a paper from his drawer, then pushed it in your direction with a pen.
“We only need your signature,” he said and paused for a second. “That is if the father…?”
You shook your head.
“Not in the picture, sir,” you said as you signed the paper, your heart beating in your ears. “Um, it’s just me and Theo.”
“I see,” he said. “Well, I promise you that Theo will be in good hands, Y/N.”
“Thank you,” you said, putting the paper back on the desk and fixed your hair with a shaky hand just so that you could keep yourself busy, and Professor Xavier offered you a small smile.
“You can always contact me if you have any other questions,” he said. “I’ll talk to Theo after Rogue gives him his tour, and I’ll see you on Friday?”
“Yes sir,” you said. “Thank you, have a nice day.”
“You too.”
When you walked out of the office, you caught the sight of Rogue talking to a tall man with tousled dark hair, but you couldn’t see his face since his back was turned to you. For a moment you considered letting Rogue know that you were out, but figured it would be rude to interrupt, so you approached Theo who was patiently waiting for you.
“Alright bean,” you said as you crouched down to look him in the eye, trying to swallow the lump in your throat, desperate to keep the tears at bay at least until you were back in the car and Theo couldn’t see you. “What day is it today?”
“Tuesday.”
“And then we have…?”
“Wednesday, Thursday and Friday,” he said, counting with his fingers and you nodded your head, holding his fingers together.
“And on Friday I’ll come and get you, okay?” you asked him and he pursed his lips, then pushed his glasses up his nose.
“Just three days.”
“Just three days,” you repeated. “But before I leave, you need to promise me something.”
“What?”
“You’ll tell me all about how pretty this place is, in detail,” you said. “And how much fun you have. So you kind of have to see everything here and have fun, promise?”
“Promise.”
“And the signal?”
He smiled, tapping over his heart three times and you did the same.
“See? I feel it,” you told him. “When you do that, I’ll do the same even if I’m not here. Okay?”
“Mkay.”
“Ready for your tour, Theo?” Rogue asked and he looked up at her, then turned to you and you pulled him into a tight hug, then smothered him in kisses as he let out an embarrassed whine.
“Mommy!”
“Okay okay, sorry,” you said with a small laugh, then adapted an overly serious expression and held out your hand. “A handshake then?”
He let out a giggle, then shook your hand and you forced yourself to smile, then stood up and straightened your back while he made his way to Rogue. Theo waved at you and you waved back, but as soon as he turned the corner with Rogue, your shoulders dropped.
Okay.
It was fine.
It was going to be just fine.
“New enrollment?” a deep voice reached you and you looked over your shoulder, then turned around to see him better.
It was the same man who you’d seen talking to Rogue just now and God, he was so handsome. If your mind wasn’t numb with anxiety, you would have stood there and gawk at him for a good minute, but perhaps your worries were for once working in your favor. His intense gaze raked over you, making your cheeks burn and your heartbeat speeding up, and a small smile curled his lips as if he could hear it.
“That obvious?”
“Just a little,” he said as your hand shot up to pinch your bottom lip, his gaze following the motion.
“People don’t get killed or maimed here, do they?” you asked and he shrugged his shoulders.
“Not on weekdays.”
“Great,” you said after a beat, offering him a weak smile. “Thanks. I’m gonna go on a limb and say there’s a reason why they didn’t put you in the welcome committee?”
That made the corners of his mouth twitch and he nodded in the direction Theo had walked away from you.
“Isn’t he a bit too young to have powers?”
“Funny you should ask that because I repeated the same question over and over again until I cried myself to sleep last night,” you pointed out and scrunched up your nose when he tilted his head. “Sorry. My jokes get a bit grim when I’m stressed.”
“You look like a very relaxed individual.”
“Do I?”
“Not really, I’m convinced that you’re having a heart attack right now.”
You blinked a couple of times in confusion before the idea hit you and your jaw dropped, your stomach doing a flip.
Right. He—
Everyone here had powers.
Well if there was anything more embarrassing than making bad jokes in front of a very hot man, it was that when the said hot man could hear your heartbeat. You managed to close your mouth and shifted your weight, your hand shooting up to your mouth again so that you could bite at the hangnail on your thumb nervously.
“Yeah that’s kind of my factory settings,” you managed to mumble. “I generate enough stress to light up a whole city.”
He hummed, his unwavering gaze making your heart skip a beat and as always, your brain took it as a sign for you to ramble about absolute nonsense.
“I’ll be a very rich person the moment they find a way to monetize stress,” you stated. “Which should be any day now, and I kind of have a list prepared for that day; the first thing I’m gonna do is probably cry because knowing me—I cry like all the time, I cried this morning and I will probably cry when I get to my car after this but— but then I’ll buy one of those very expensive coffees, I don’t know if you’ve tried them—”
“Logan, Storm wants to see us,” someone called out from the end of the hallway, cutting through your rambling but he didn’t even look at the owner of the voice. Instead, a small smirk curled his lips as if he was amused with your nonsense and you swallowed thickly, biting at your thumb again.
“I’m Logan by the way,” he said and you raised your brows, then nodded fervently.
“Y/N,” you introduced yourself, lowering your hand. “Hello.”
“Hi.”
The silence that fell upon you felt like it would explode your head so you cleared your throat, throwing your shoulders back.
“I should—I should get back to work before I get fired,” you stammered, jerking your thumb over your shoulder and took a step, then turned around on your heels. “But um, nice to meet you.”
“You too,” he said, his voice completely calm unlike yours and you shot him a tentative smile, then made your way out of the hallway, then walked out of the building as fast as you could as if someone was chasing you.
“Oh I’m an idiot,” you sang to yourself, drawing out the last syllable like an opera singer while fished your car keys out of your backpack, your heart still beating in your ears. “I’m an idiot, I’m such an idiot…”
The moment you got in your car, you heaved a sigh and pressed your palms on your eyes but your head shot up when your phone started ringing. You unzipped your backpack to grab it, then tossed the backpack back in the passenger seat and checked the screen to see your best friend’s name. You let out a breath, then touched the screen and took it to your ear.
“Julie, I’m an idiot I think,” you greeted her and she paused for a moment.
“Hello to you too sunshine,” she said with a laugh. “What happened?”
“Well the good news is, Theo liked the school,” you said, looking out the window at the mansion. “But I miss him already. Do you think—”
“You’re not changing your mind about this, we talked about helicopter parenting,” she said. “It’s going to be good for him.”
“Right.”
“Is that why you’re freaking out?”
“Not really but I will cry about it,” you pointed out. “Tonight I’m guessing.”
“Didn’t expect anything else, I’m bringing drinks to your place,” she said. “So? What is it then?”
“There’s a very, very, very attractive man there,” you murmured and she hummed.
“Just so I get it clear, how attractive is he again?”
“Very.”
You could practically hear her grin. “Good.”
“It’s not good!” you whined. “I’ve made a fool of myself.”
“It’s a part of your charm.”
“It really isn’t,” you said and looked down at your clothes. “And I look like a tax collector.”
“People other than tax collectors wear white shirts, we’ve been over that.”
“He thinks I’m a tax collector who can’t form a logical sentence,” you said, slipping a little in the driver’s seat to lean your knees to the steering wheel and she scoffed.
“Not really, he probably thinks you’re a—”
“We’re not calling me that,” you cut her off, making her laugh.
“Fine.”
You pinched your lip between your knuckles, then heaved a sigh.
“Theo will be okay, right?”
“He will be more than okay because he is going to be surrounded by the people who can in fact teach him how to use his powers, something you can’t do,” she said. “There’s nothing wrong with getting a little help, sunshine.”
You clicked your tongue, still keeping your gaze on the mansion.
“So let me guess,” she said, pulling you out of your thoughts. “This very very very hot man is tall.”
“Yes.”
“Looks cocky.”
“Uh…”
“And older than you.”
You blinked a couple of times, pulling your brows together. “How did you—?”
“You have a type.”
You drummed your fingernails on the steering wheel, then heaved a sigh.
“It’s fine,” you said. “I…I doubt I’ll talk to him ever again and you know, with Theo, I just don’t have the time for anything else right now.”
“I’m going to convince you otherwise but I’m going to need drinks for that.”
You breathed out a laugh, then checked the time.
“Gotta go,” you said. “I’ll see you tonight then?”
“Yep, love you!”
“Love you too!” you said and hung up, then tossed the phone on the passenger seat and started the car.
“Alright,” you muttered to yourself. “I’m so gonna get drunk tonight.”
[2] - Summer Breeze
#logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#deadpool#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool 3#wolverine#wolverine x reader#logan wolverine#logan x reader#logan howlett x you#wolverine x you#james howlett#fluff#logan howlett imagine#logan x you
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