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tigerkirby215 · 3 years ago

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5e Hank J. Wimbleton, the Protagonist build (Madness Combat)

(Artwork by AndrewKO on Newgrounds.)

Friday Night Funkin’ Tricky Mod reminded me of the Madness Combat series... man it’s a trip in the best possible way. I honestly miss the old days on Newgrounds where stuff like Madness Combat could get extremely popular just off fan reception alone.

Anyways I think the fantasy of playing a bloodthirsty expert killer is something that most people can identify with in D&D, and Hank is certainly a badass in his own right. So while this was mostly a spur-of-the-moment sort of build here’s Hank J. Wimbleton with as many of his abilities I could reasonably put into a build at once, from Madness Combat 1 all the way to Madness Combat 11: Expurgation.

Also I finally get to use artwork from a website other than DeviantArt which is pretty awesome.

GOALS

Avenger - Hank shoots guns good and Madness is a series of guns first and foremost.

Aggregation - Hank is also more than capable in melee combat, being able to use all sorts of weapons including his fists!

Redeemer - Spoilers for Madness Combat 9 I guess.

RACE

The characters in Madness don’t really look like anything in reality, but it’s fairly safe to say that they are meant to be some sort of human. So we’re going to be going for Variant Human: yup not even an Eberron race since we do need everything that Variant Human provides. Increase your Constitution and Dexterity both by 1 and grab Acrobatics proficiency to dodge incoming knife swings and gunfire. And as per standard take whatever language suits your campaign.

Now you’re probably expecting Crossbow Expert as our level 1 feat, right? Or perhaps even Gunner? That’s where you’re wrong! Hank throws punches far earlier than he starts using guns, and he also uses a lot or improvised weapons throughout the mainline Madness Combat series. So grab Tavern Brawler for a +1 to Strength, a d4 unarmed strike (it’s not earth-shattering but it gets the job done), and proficiency with improvised weapons. And the grappling part which honestly doesn’t impact us much, but it’s nice to grab a human shield.

ON THE GUNNER FEAT: Going to make a quick mention now that this build is made under the assumption that your DM will not allow firearms in their campaign, and as a result we will be reflavoring crossbows as firearms. In short we’re not taking the Gunner feat, but if your DM allows it go ahead and take it.

Honestly if your DM allows firearms it would probably be a good idea to play whatever firearm-based class they added to play as Hank, instead of the build I made here. This build however is meant for the average D&D campaign.

ABILITY SCORES

Hank is MAD, rather fittingly. So MAD in fact that I can’t contain the madness within Standard Array. So rejoice we’re actually going to be using Point Buy!

STRENGTH; 9 - The vast majority of Hank’s weapons are either firearms or weapons that I would constitute as finesse based. With the +1 from Tavern Brawler this is still enough for your punches and improvised Strength weapons to pack a punch at least.

DEXTERITY; 15 - As mentioned above we will primarily be using firearms (crossbows) and finesse weapons.

CONSTITUTION; 11 - Mostly to round out the build, which along with the +1 from our race gives us a bit of bulk which will help with all the killing.

INTELLIGENCE; 14 - There’s many ways I can justify this but the easiest way is to say “it’s a multiclassing requirement.”

WISDOM; 14 - Wisdom is tied to perception as well as survival instinct, and is a multiclassing requirement.

CHARISMA; 8 - Hank is of the quiet sort and doesn’t talk much between all the killing. Yes he can intimidate info out of people but you try keeping your cool with a gun pointed to your head.

BACKGROUND

There was a man who sought the sheriff, and to slay the sheriff you’re automatically made a Criminal. I am however going to suggest swapping your skills out for Intimidation and Slight of Hand (IE Gun Tricks.) Feel free to take whatever Gaming Set you want, but thankfully as a Criminal you can choose Land Vehicles as your tool proficiency, because Hank does run over some guys in part 4!

Criminal Contact will let you get in contact with Sanford and Deimos in case you... you know, die? You can always get your message across when needed: D&D doesn’t have computers but you can still find some shady merchants or corrupt guards to get into contact with your crew.

(Artwork by redemer19 on Newgrounds.)

THE BUILD

LEVEL 1 - ARTIFICER 1

Starting off as an Artificer because CON saving throw proficiency is nice. So is proficiency in Investigation, Perception, and a tool of your choice.

Tinkerer’s Tools technically counts as gunsmith tools if we go with Matt Mercer’s homebrew, but you already get those for free (along with Thieves’ Tools) as an Artificer. I personally opted for Smith’s Tools as the next best option which will also double for taking care of swords and knives.

You can also get a Boombox to dance to thanks to Magical Tinkering. You can infuse magic into a Tiny object to give it a variety of effects: make it glow, have it display a message, or most importantly have it play the Chicken Dance song. You can have a number of these equal to your Intelligence modifier, which is to say not many.

You do also get Spellcasting: You get two cantrips from the Artificer list: Mage Hand will let you grab a weapon for yourself that’s out of reach, and Acid Splash will serve as a starter shotgun for some buckshot against multiple enemies. As for your leveled spells you can prepare a number of spells equal to your Intelligence modifier plus half your Artificer level, which is to say... not many. Feather Fall can be useful when up in high places, and Detect Magic is universally useful for finding any anomalies created by the Improbability Drive.

LEVEL 2 - ARTIFICER 2

The main reason we went for Artificer first is Infusions, gear you can bring at the start of the fight for an upper hand. Of course the main weapon we’ll be grabbing is the Repeating Shot Weapon which will be how you make basically all your guns. Not having to reload is nice and not having to worry about ammo is better!

ON YOUR WEAPONS: For now the only weapon you can reasonably use is a Light Crossbow, however soon you’ll be able to put Repeating Shot on either a Heavy Crossbow (rifle) or Hand Crossbow (pistol) depending on your preference.

Other than that you can borrow from Sanford’s book and make a Returning Weapon to throw a hook and pull it back, create Sending Stones to keep in touch with your crew, and have a Rope of Climbing to sneak into the sheriff’s office. Or you can choose your own tools for the job as I am merely suggesting what makes the most sense for Hank, but the Repeating Shot Weapon is the only one you truly need.

You can also prepare another spell like Identify, to know what weapon you’re picking up.

LEVEL 3 - RANGER 1

This is a bit out of left field isn’t it? Well Ranger gives a number of things, the first of which being Stealth proficiency for your initial entrance. You also get Deft Explorer (instead of Natural Explorer) for Canny, giving you two languages (pick your poison) and Expertise in one skill of your choice (go for Acrobatics to evade attacks and stay alive.)

You also get Favored Foe (instead of Favored Enemy), letting you concentrate on an enemy’s weak points to kill them quickly. When you hit an enemy you can choose to mark them so they take an extra d4 of damage once per turn from your attacks. You do have to concentrate on this effect (like a spell) but aiming for the head is a good way to end someone quickly.

LEVEL 4 - RANGER 2

Second level Rangers get to choose their Fighting Style and you’re probably expecting me to tell you to take Archery, right? Well even if you’re mostly going to be using guns you do have proficiency with melee weapons too, and since our Strength is kinda bad I’d suggest taking Druidic Warrior for some simple boosts to your combat proficiency.

Shillelagh will be a good place to start by letting you swing a blunt object with your Wisdom instead of your Strength. The main weapons Hank uses in the Madness series other than shortswords is clubs, bats, and pipes which I’d all consider as viable targets for Shillelagh if your DM’s cool.

Mending will be useful to keep your outfit in check after taking a bad hit.

Feel free to take Archery if you want as it’s likely more useful for this build. Again I am opting for what’s the most accurate for Hank, not for what’s the most optimal to build.

But if you want to keep yourself in check after taking a bad hit you can grab some Ranger Spellcasting. Cure Wounds will let you bandage yourself (or an ally) up in the thick of a fight, and Zephyr Strike will let you rush in while avoiding danger to deliver a deadly strike on a key foe.

LEVEL 5 - RANGER 3

There’s quite a few reasons we didn’t go for Rogue levels in this build (spoilers btw): Hank does most of his fighting solo, doesn’t really opt for stealth except for at the start of missions, and because the Gloom Stalker is far better for how Hank operates. For a start you get Umbral Sight for 60 feet of Darkvision with your dumb human eyes, but you can also hide in the dark so well that even creatures with darkvision can’t see you! Which is good because Dread Ambusher gives you a bonus to initiative rolls equal to your Wisdom modifier along, but more importantly lets you move 10 feet faster on the first round of combat. And you can also attack one extra time on the first round of combat, and if you hit with that extra attack you’ll deal an extra d8 damage to down a foe quick and give yourself more options.

You can learn a new spell at this level like Hail of Thorns for some buckshot, and you also get Gloom Stalker Magic, adding Disguise Self to your spell list so you can look like a regular dude who isn’t covered with bandages. You also get Primal Awareness, because even if Speak With Animals makes no sense for Hank it’s still better than Primeval Awareness.

(Artwork by LegendaryPanettone on Newgrounds.)

LEVEL 6 - RANGER 4

4th level Rangers get an Ability Score Improvement: Dexterity controls everything we do currently so increase that by 2 for better AC, shooting, sword-swinging, and DEX saves.

LEVEL 7 - RANGER 5

5th level Rangers get an Extra Attack, allowing them to shoot twice and even allowing you specifically to shoot 3 times on your first turn!

You can also learn second level Ranger spells now: Primal Awareness gives you Beast Sense and Gloom Stalker Magic gives you Rope Trick for a place to hide and ambush from. And Enhance Ability (ty Tasha’s) will let you push yourself when violence is needed.

LEVEL 8 - RANGER 6

6th level Rangers see Favored Foe turn into a d6 to be somewhat on-par with Hunter’s Mark. You also get Roving from Deft Explorer for 5 extra feet of movement, as well as a swimming and climbing speed.

But now that you’ve gotten all your killing done it’s time to die. Because you do not kill clown; clown kills you!

(Artwork by Jinxsaw on Newgrounds.)

LEVEL 9 - ARTIFICER 3

You can’t kill the protagonist! We’re at 9th level which translates perfectly to Madness Combat 9, which means you can be revived as an Armorer Artificer! Your consciousness will be placed inside of a suit of Arcane Armor, replacing any missing limbs you may have and genuinely account for all your injuries. The armor also doesn’t have a Strength requirement and can be used as a focus for your Artificer spells.

There’s two different Armor Models to choose from but for now I’d suggest keeping to guns and going for the Infiltrator model (mostly because your Intelligence is bad so it would be better to opt for Dexterity to fire your guns.) The Lightning Launcher is like a handgun except it has very good range (90/300) and does Lightning Damage, and even lets you do an extra d6 damage once per turn! You also get Powered Steps for an extra 5 feet of movement speed (adding up to 40 total thanks to Ranger!) and a Dampening Field will give you Advantage on Stealth due to your black outfit.

You also get some Armorer Spells: Magic Missile for some unavoidable gunfire and Thunderwave to give yourself some space. You can also choose a different set of Artisan’s Tools from Tools of the Trade since you likely already have Smith’s Tools proficiency. You can pick whatever you think will be useful, but it’s worth mentioning that you can make a tool with 1 hour of work thanks to The Right Tool for the Job. And no Hank; weapons are not tools. At least not by this definition.

LEVEL 10 - ARTIFICER 4

4th level Artificers get an Ability Score Improvement. Wouldn’t it make sense to increase your Intelligence as an Artificer now that you can use your Armorer weapons with INT? Yes. Anyways increase your Dexterity by 2.

WOULD IT HAVE MADE MORE SENSE TO MAX OUT INTELLIGENCE FOR THIS BUILD? Yes. Now that you have Armorer levels you’re basically never going to be using crossbows again realistically. Oops. Having good INT instead of good DEX would mean that you could start using the Guardian armor to punch some stuff, and 14 in DEX would still allow you to wear Medium armor. You could’ve easily taken 3 (or more realistically 5) levels in Artificer at the start of this build and then gone for Ranger to not have to deal with bad ranged weapons while having good stats for an Artificer.

There’s still strengths to having high DEX obviously (good initiative, good Stealth and Acrobatics checks, good DEX saves, and you get Mirror Image as an Armorer Artificer) but it’s really not that important for this build. But I’m still maxing it out first as it’s accurate to Hank. In the average D&D campaign you’re not going to be picking up weapons from enemies you kill to use them when you run out of ammo. There’s many things I took in this build that are impractical for anything other than a combat heavily inspired by Madness Combat.

Basically feel free to min-max this build if you so desire; it’s quite viable in its own right when you do so. Again I’m trying for accuracy over viability. Also P.S. After this build comes out I’m going to release a “pre-MC9″ Hank build if you want more of the traditional Hank who isn’t in power armor.

You can also prepare another spell at this level but we’re going to wait for...

LEVEL 11 - ARTIFICER 5

5th level Artificers get an Extra Attack... which you already have. Oops.

Well at least you get access to second level spells! As an Armorer you get Mirror Image to dodge gunfire, and Shatter! For a grenade! But to continue dodging attacks Blur works well as long as the enemy doesn’t have Truesight, which the AAHW may have by total level 11.

LEVEL 12 - ARTIFICER 6

6th level Artificers can prepare more Infusions! A Spell-Refueling Ring will let you restock on spell slot bullets mid-fight, and Boots of the Winding Path will let you jump back after getting into melee combat.

You also get Tool Expertise which is exactly what it says on the tin. You double your proficiency bonus when making checks with tools.

To top it off you can prepare another spell like Catapult. Why are we preparing a first level spell? Because Hank throws big rocks at Tricky in Madness 11. Told you I did research.

(Artwork by ramblinshroom on Newgrounds.)

LEVEL 13 - ARTIFICER 7

7th level Artificers get to feel the pain of my choice to max out Dexterity instead of Intelligence as Flash of Genius scales heavily off Intelligence. When you or an ally within 30 feet makes an ability check or a saving throw you can use your reaction to add your Intelligence modifier to the roll. You can use this feature a number of times equal to your Intelligence modifier and regain all expended uses when you finish a long rest.

LEVEL 14 - ARTIFICER 8

8th level Artificers get another Ability Score Improvement and now that your Dexterity is maxed out... more Wisdom lol? Look we’ll deal with your Intelligence in a bit but Wisdom gives you better initiative among other things.

You can also prepare another spell but next level will get us third level spells, so...

LEVEL 15 - ARTIFICER 9

9th level Artificers can get used to their new revived bodies thanks to Armor Modifications. The chest, boots, helmet, and weapons of your armor all count as individual items for the sake of infusions, and you can have two more infusions active! (As long as they’re on your armor anyways.)

You also get Hypnotic Pattern and Lightning Bolt as an Armorer, for a flashbang and some purgatory powers. And you can prepare a spell like Haste, to move so fast it’s like the world is in slow motion.

LEVEL 16 - ARTIFICER 10

So you know how we just got two more infusions for your armor? Well 10th level Artificers can make Gauntlets of Ogre Power and a Headband of Intellect to finally get your Strength and Intelligence to a reasonable level. Again probably a bit late to do so but it does mean that you can finally use melee weapons well, or your Guardian Armor to do some punching! (I’m not going to cover the Guardian Armor now but know that you can punch people and give them disadvantage to hit your allies, and also give yourself Temporary hitpoints.)

And the best part is that you can still keep attuned to other useful items as Magic Item Adept gives you one more attunement slot, meaning that you can be attuned to 4 items total!

And to top it off more Intelligence means more spells and holy shit another cantrip! For your cantrip you can finally take Message to keep in contact with your party, and for your leveled spells...

People die a lot in Nevada: Revivify can help if one of those people are a friend.

See Invisibility will help you avoid ambushes.

Lesser Restoration can help you in a pinch if you’re pinned down.

But again I seriously can not stress enough that you are more than welcome to pick spells that you feel are stronger, as I am merely picking spells for a simple guy who really likes killing.

(Artwork by marcipancakes on Newgrounds.)

LEVEL 17 - RANGER 7

Very quickly going back to Ranger to grab the last few abilities we missed: 7th level Gloom Stalkers have an Iron Mind for proficiency with Wisdom saves. Yup that’s it. Well at least you can add () to your Ranger spell list.

LEVEL 18 - RANGER 8

8th level Rangers get Land Stride to not be slowed down by the difficult terrain during Expurgation, and even giving yourself advantage against magical terrain made to harm you in purgatory.

But more importantly you get an Ability Score Improvement to pump your Wisdom up a little more. But really I only waited this long to get Ranger 8 to talk about Martial Versatility from Tasha’s Cauldron of Everything: talk to your DM about it but I’d actually suggest grabbing Archery proper now instead of Druidic Warrior because you’ve got the Strength to use weapons.

Oh yeah you could also totally like... use the Guardian armor and carry a repeating crossbow for ranged combat.

LEVEL 19 - ARTIFICER 11

11th level Artificers can bring out the heavy artillery with a Spell-Storing Item. You can store a first or second level spell from the Artificer spell list in one simple or martial weapon (or a spellcasting focus) that requires 1 action to cast.

While holding the object, a creature can take an action to produce the spell’s effect from it, using your spellcasting ability modifier. If the spell requires concentration, the creature must concentrate. The spell stays in the object until it’s been used a number of times equal to twice your Intelligence modifier (minimum of twice) or until you use this feature again to store a spell in an object.

There are plenty of good spells you can choose from but I’m going to just say this: put Shatter in the item. There are perhaps more useful choices, but isn’t a grenade belt the embodiment of Madness?

LEVEL 20 - ARTIFICER 12

12th level Artificers get our last Ability Score Improvement which means hey: maxed out Wisdom! Yes there are perhaps feats you could get (some ideas I’d suggest would be either the Dual Wielder feat [carry a Repeating Hand Crossbow in one hand and your magical fist in the other] or the Sharpshooter feat) but I simply opted for maxing out stats.

And you can prepare one more spell like... I don’t know? Blink for more dodging?

FINAL BUILD

PROS

Abrogation - I came into this build with the intent of making you capable with all weapons regardless of type and well... I certainly accomplished that. You have good Dexterity for any finesse and ranged weapons and your Strength is strong enough to swing a bat around.

Antipathy - You are also damn capable in combat with an insane opening turn and very good DPS regardless of if you choose to fight with fists or guns, not to mention a good supply of spells and class abilities to truly slaughter your foes.

Apotheosis - It wasn’t my intent but... 20 in two stats and 19 in two others? Excluding your Charisma and Constitution you’re a superhuman of a man.

CONS

Depredation - You have to be level 16 to finally get a decent Strength and Intelligence score, and while low STR doesn’t matter much low INT really hurts as an Artificer.

Consternation - “High stats except Constitution” is a problem. Honestly going 15 in Artificer and 5 in Ranger would’ve gotten you level 15 infusions for a Hill Giant’s Belt for 21 STR and an Amulet of Health for 19 CON.

Inundation - There’s a lot of little tweaks worth changing in this build, notably the focus on Dexterity versus Intelligence. Realistically having 20 INT and 14 DEX is more useful for you as an Artificer than having 19 INT and 20 DEX.

But who cares if it’s messy; as long as it’s effective. Killing everyone somewhere in Nevada will give you plenty of experience to reach your maximum Madness level. You are the Protagonist and they are the Victims... but don’t go into any D&D campaigns with that mentality, or else you may be the Clown.

(Artwork by Teknodice on Newgrounds.)

#dnd #dnd 5e #dnd build #dnd guide #Newgrounds #Madness Combat #madness hank #Hank J. Wimbleton #dnd ranger #dnd artificer

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zvkos · 4 years ago

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The Problem With Bias In S4 of TWDG

I'm sure this topic has been spoken about before, but I need to get this out of my system because my GOODNESS the choices in season 4 (in regards to Louis and Violet) suck ass! There's a clear bias between the two and I'm going to explain how below.

OKAY! SO! Going into TWDG s4, playing it for the VERY first time without learning about any of the new characters, we come from three previous games about survival. In one of them, we play as Lee, trying our best to survive, protecting Clementine, and teaching her about survival. In another, we play as Clementine trying her best to survive. In another, we see Clementine on her own as a hardened survivor. For THREE games, we -- as a player -- are trained to put survival first and foremost.

Then comes season 4.

Clem is new to the boarding school and for the first time, is surrounded by her peers. Very quickly, we learn a little bit about Louis and a little bit about Violet. It's not until Marlon gives Clem the choice to either hunt with Louis & Aasim or fish with Violet & Brody that we have to opportunity to really learn about them.

This is the first instance of bias.

When Marlon is describing the different trips, he says something like: Violet and Brody are going to go fishing, hopefully they get along enough to get some work done. When describing the hunting trip, he says: Louis and Aasim are heading to the hunting grounds. Well, Aasim will, anyway. Louis... I just hope he shows up.

We learn two things about Louis and Violet here -- One, Violet doesn't get along with Brody. Two, Louis slacks off.

Hmmmm. I don't know about you, but to me, one outweighs the other. Especially as a player who has learned to prioritize survival. Violet doesn't get along with Brody? That's fine, Clem has been in groups before where not everyone has gotten along. However, if we go with Aasim and Louis, he might not even show up -- which leaves us short a man, putting us more at risk.

Now you might be thinking: "Wow, you're thinking really hard about this choice. It's not that serious." Except IT IS. For the simple fact that whoever you choose in this decision is the character you learn the most about. If you go with Violet, you learn why she's so closed off and bitter. If you go with Louis, you learn why he goofs off and doesn't take much seriously. This choice is literally the first step down whatever route you decide to do.

I've seen soooooo many people decide to go with Violet due to the fact that Marlon says “Louis might not even show up.” A LOT of people miss the opportunity to learn more about why Louis acts the way he does, therefore leaving him as a one-note, slacker, class clown type. He barely has any depth. He's just the guy that flirts with Clementine. That's it. There's no real reason to appeal to him since you spent the least amount of time with him. (Oh yeah! AND Marlon is his best friend!)

AND THEN COMES EPISODE 2.

A.J shoots Marlon dead, Louis is PISSED at A.J and Clementine. (Rightfully so, I might add.) Violet, however, sticks up for Clem. She's on her side because she's pissed at what Marlon did. (Rightfully so, I will add again.) Once again, I've seen MAJORITY of people write Louis off in this episode. They're pissed that he's pissed at Clem & A.J. They don't want anything to do with him. Meanwhile, Violet is by your side throughout the episode.

In what UNIVERSE does a brand new player see this, and is like: "Well, I still like Louis better." I haven't seen a single one. It doesn't even make any sense to put the romance option in this episode because of the CRAZY imbalance between characters.

Should you romance Violet, the girl who wanted you to stay, who defended you, who (up until this point) likes you the most?

Or should you romance Louis, the guy who is pissed at you and A.J, who voted to kick you out, who demanded A.J give him the gun before you both left for the wilderness, and ignored you for a bit when you were back?

HELLO? In what WORLD are these routes equal?

Yes, Louis apologizes later, but by this point most people have a grudge against him and don't take it seriously. Or worse, they tell him to fuck off.

AND THEN to make matters WORSE, the big branching off decision is in THIS EPISODE. And, wow... Wow, this choice is literally one of the most biased choices I've ever seen in a decision-based game!!!!

You can either: check the defenses with Violet before the big fight, OR, play piano with Louis.

Before the big fight that will get people killed. You can either: CHECK THE DEFENSES WITH VIOLET OR PLAY PIANO WITH LOUIS.

PLAY PIANO? BEFORE A WAR?

WHAT?

Who in their ABSOLUTE RIGHT MIND would chose to play piano with Louis? Hell, I wouldn't choose to go with Louis and he's my favorite character in the game!!!! Once AGAIN, majority of people go with Violet (because it makes the most sense!!) and they lose the opportunity to learn more about Louis and bond with him. At this point, you're on Violet’s path -- whether it's platonic or romantic.

I know K*nt said the difference between Violet and Louis is "staying alive vs. feeling alive" but they went about it soooo completely wrong it BOGGLES my mind how they thought their routes were equal. I'd love to go more in depth on how I would've set their paths up, but this post is already super long and I'm rambling. Also, before I get any hate, I want everyone to know I DO NOT hate Violet. I do NOT hate Violentine. I think Vi is a great character, and if you like Violet and Clem over Clem and Louis, hey! That's awesome. I just personally believe the game is tilted towards her and wanted to share my frustrations.

tl;dr -- season 4 of twdg has terrible, biased choices in regards to Violet and Louis, the game is always pushing you to Violet and gives you no reason to choose Louis.

#my eyes were opened today #and i really realllllly saw how terrible louis' choices are #just outright garbage #my boy deserves better!#twdg #twdg s4 #twdg the final season #twdg tfs #the walking dead game #twdg louis #twdg violet #twdg clementine

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starr-fall-knight-rise · 5 years ago

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Humans Are Space Orcs, “Black Hole.”

I was walking, I tended to do that when I had to think, and today was a thinking kind of day. I’m not exactly a thinking kind of guy if I am being honest. Most of the time the inside of my head is a wasteland of song lyrics, movie clips, and microwave noises, but right now I had to try and figure some things out.

First and foremost I had been thinking about the spiderlings a lot lately. It hurt e all over to think the things I was thinking now, but it had to be done.

The spiderlings, when it came right down to it, were just kids like toddlers. They were still learning how to interact with people, they were still growing up, and admittedly, I wasn’t doing a very good job at parenting. First and foremost, however, was the fact that they shouldn’t even be on the ship in the first place. Children weren’t allowed on UNSC ships unless there was rescue mission going on, or they were being transported for some reason.

No one else on the ship would be allowed to take their kids with them, so why should I. It sort of wasn’t fair if you thought on it for a little bit.

Number two, it wasn’t exactly fair to the spiderlings either. They needed some sort of education if they wanted to live in this universe as it was, and right now I didn’t have time to sit them down and teach them anything. I honestly couldn’t really do anything for them at all know that I thought about it. I was horrible at discipline and even worse at teaching them the things they should know.

They needed a preschool or something where they could learn how to read and write, though I had no real idea where to do that.

I had been thinking about this a lot lately based on some of the things I had come to realize while I was gone on leave, the number one being that I took too much on my shoulders. N o one here except for me was expected to father and run a ship at the same time.

If anything I was doing the spiderlings a disservice by keeping them here.

It hurt me to say all of that because the aggressive controlling part of me doesn’t want to admit that I can’t do all of it all by myself.

But I can’t.

However, I do know someone who potentially could if she was going to do what she said she was going to do.

A part of my, however, didn’t want to contact Eris.

We hardly knew each other and to ask for favors would be a bit much. Arguably the adaptids were older than she was, meaning that choosing her to help me in this endeavour wasn’t fair to her either, but who else was I going to get to take care of them.

One thing is for sure, they needed a lot of things that I just couldn’t provide, and that meant I was going to ave to let go.

Made me sick to my stomach but there you had it.

I admired it.

I Can’t do it.

I turned the corner onto the bridge my mind made up. I would have to Call Eris when we were out of warp and see if she would take another couple of hybrids.

I made myself feel a little better by promising I would call and visit as often as I could, though it hurt me to think how the spiderlings might respond to me just up and leaving them.

I tried to remind myself that I wasn’t up and leaving them, I was doing what any other father in the UNSC would have to do and that was find them a place to stay and learn and grow and all of those other things, but a part of me still felt horrible.

To take my mind off of that decision, I turned my head towards one of the bridge crew members, “Grab a tablet and follow me.”

They did as told, bot up and followed.

It honestly still surprises me when people follow my orders. Like I expect to have to explain or justify my reasoning to them, but instead they sort of just get up and walk over like that was supposed to be how it worked.

I wasn’t totally convinced.

I motioned them to follow and together we walked down the hall.

I took my first stop in the medical bay where Krill and Katie working quietly to deep clean the med bay while there were no patients to work on.

Krill looked up and his antennae buzzed slightly when he saw me. A frown crossed his face as he looked me over, expecting some sort of injury. I have him a smile and almost winked but then remembered that when you have one eye winking just looks like blinking.

Katie straightened up, “Good morning Commander.” She said with a wide smile.”

That would always surprise me to, when your friends call you by a title.

“Morning Doctor.” I responded in kind walking over with my assistant at my heels.

Krill seemed to relax, “how may we help you this morning, commander.”

I took a seat on the edge of one of the beds and bounced my foot up and down a bit as i thought, “I was just thinking about the ship and how it’s run.”

They looked at each other.

I held up a hand, “Don’t worry it’s nothing like that. I just realized the other day that I don’t really know how things work on my own ship despite trying to control everything all the time, so I am going to go around to all of the departments get and idea of how they work, and what they do, and how they might need my help if anything.” I motioned back towards my assistant, “Lt. McKinnon is going to take notes for me, and then later on I am going to meet with the Jedi council, and we are going to decide how best to delegate and meet the needs of the ship more effectively.”

Katie raised an eyebrow, “The Jedi council?”

“Yeah, that’s what I am calling it, and you can’t make me decide otherwise.”

She rolled her eyes but smiled and I smiled back.

If they thought my idea was dumb, they at least humored me.

As far as my involvement, there really was none, though I had to make sure that everyone was up to date on their medical evals and vaccinations, which was probably a job I could delegate to someone else, or at least give Katie and Krill the power to do, so I would have to look into that later.

I stood from there and together me and my assistant moved to the other departments before slowly coming around to the rec hall where I knew I might find a particular grou pf of people.

Cannon was there as I expected he would be playing pool with a group of other Drev.

Cannon was a good shot while the others were a couple seconds away from poking each other in the eye with the cues, but they were laughing and talking rapid fire in drev, fast eough that I was having trouble understanding just exactly what they were saying.

Cannon leaned over the table and took a shot sending one of the balls into a corner pocket with a satisfying clatter.

The other Drev groaned and he raised his fist in triumph.

I approached once Cannon won the game, and the big guy saw me coming raising the pool cue in greeting like he might raise a spear. The other Drev did the same

“Zhad tsak Hajee lasan jirhaat.”

I raised my hand and returned the greeting.

May your spear be sharp or something similar.

I kept the conversation mostly in Drev for the sake of the clan, “Cannon how are you this morning?”

He lifted his head to me, “Won seven duels and tested some of Chalan’s new weapons.”

I smiled, “Ben busy than I see.”

“I always try to keep it that way.”

Cannon was the defacto clan leader. Technically it was either sunny or I, but Sunny wasn’t reall the clan leading type and I had everything else to run so that gave Cannon most command over the Drev, which is why I was here.

“Just coming in to make sure you guys have everything you need and see if there is anything that you guys need done. Cannon obviouly you are on the jedi council, so you’ll figure this out later, but I want to make sure eveyrthing is running smoothly. Is there anything your clan needs to discuss.”

Cannon tapped his fingers agaisnt his carapace beore pulling me aside by the arm.

“Tatazan is…. Pregnant so, what should I do about that?”

A ton of bricks for Commander Adam Vir.

I blinked blindsides by that afformentioned rockslide, “I uh…. Hmm that is complicated.”

I turned to look at the floor. I suppose it should ahve occured to me that when we took on an entire Drev clan that we were also taking on mated pares. Now the UNSC guidelines about being in relationships didn’t cover the Drev considering that their battle partners were always thir significant other so hiring a Drev would be impossible if the rule was followed.

But I had failed to recognize the ‘mated’ part of a mated pair.

“Well shit.” I muttered

“This isn’t exactly ideal.”

Cannon nodded, “I think it might be best if the child is raised off the ship on Anin.”

“I tend to agree with you there.” I leaned in a bit, “I have been thinking about the same things for the spiderlings.”

He nodded knowingly.

“A ship is no place to grow up.”

I agreed no matter how much child me would have disagreed.

“We can discuss that in meeting tonight, though as clan leader you have the most say in this.”

He nodded his large head, “Where is my sister?” He wondered looking around for where she might be.

“I sent her off to play with making new weapons.”

“Sent her off?” Cannon chuckled in amusement

“Yeah, I think she worries about leaving me on my own, like I am going to set something on fire or something.”

“Have you set anything on fire/” He wondered wryly.

I smirked, “No but I’ve been thinking.”

“For you, that is actually worse than setting things on fire.”

The two of us laughed and I patted him on the arm as I returned him to the pool table and a second round of him kicking everyone’s ass.

Cannon was a good clan leader and had thrown himself into the work wholeheartedly. They respected him, and he got along with them. Not a day went by that you didn’t see him leading the Drev in some new sort of activity to broaden their horizons. I sortof wished Sunny would join them more often. I think it would be good for her to speak her own language and have friends er own species, but I get why she tended to distance herself.

These Drev were from the same clan that mistreated her entire life, and memories lie that were difficult to forgive at times. Still, they had to be better than me, and I worried about her.

Sure spending her time being beautiful and nobley aloof all the time gave her an heir of…. Hmmm how shall I say…. Excitement and intrigue, but still…. I wanted her to be happy.

And as much as the greedy part of me wanted my friend all to myself I recognized that probably wasn’t a good thing.

I’d talk to her later about it I decided.

“Commander Vir to the bridge, commander Vir to the bridge.”

I motioned my note taker to follow, and we hurried back to the bridge taking our seats. The captain’s chair was familiar at this point, but I still couldn’t shake off that tiny moment of thrill as I sat down.

“Report.”

“Warp ends in five minutes, commander.”

My heart pounded nervously in my chest. This was it, this was the big moment scientists had been waiting for forever. A real live real time picture of a black hole. Now it was important to keep away from the edge or risk time dilation, spegetiffication, and instant death.

The kid in me was about to pee himself in excitement, but the Commander in me was intent on not letting everyone die.

I picked up the com on the rest of the ship inviting them to prepare for warp exit, and then told them to get their asses up to the observation deck to see something awesome.

When I put the mic down I was back in commander mode ordering the crew to ready themselves for this moment.

My eyes were fixed straight ahead.

This was going to be insane.

If we came out of this wrong, we could be caught in the event horizon and be….

Goners.

“Exiting warp in ten.”

I prepared to take manual control of the ship breath held trying not to imagine what would happen if we appeared at the edge of the event horizon sailing on a dust cloud of light as we plunged towards our death, a black pit of nothingness.

“One”

The warp drie disengaged, and we jolted violently as the air warped around us.

I slammed back in my seat taking immediate control of the ship waiting for any warning bells to go off signaling extreme gravity,

I took a relieved sigh when there was none and lifted my head to the viewing window.

‘“Ho-ly shit.” I muttered

The rest of the crew gasped.

It was…. Well it was wow.

IIf you guys have ever seen interstellar, I would go so far as to say that was pretty accurate.

From this distance the thing didn’t look so big, but the very marrow of my bones knew what it meant. The massive disk of light and dust that surrounded it slowly spiraling inward towards a pit of nothingness.

The halo ring of light that surrounded it glowed upward as unbelievable gravity refracted the back of the black hole towards the front.

It was like a dark eye in the middle of space staring outward at us unblinkingly as it lurked in the darkness...

This

Was the center

Of the Milky Way.

290 notes · View notes

seriouslyhooked · 5 years ago

Text

Feels Like This (Part 3)

Emma Swan is a once lost girl who is now making good. She has made a way in the world for her and her young son, Henry, and after years of hard work, Emma is in her last stretch of schooling for the career she’s always wanted. Unexpectedly, she finds herself in a tiny nation no one’s ever heard of for her last year of study. She knows nothing about the place except that it’s beautiful, has a world-renowned child life program, and is filled with possibility. Meanwhile, Prince Killian is hardly happy with the title he received at birth. As the second in line for the crown, Killian has long tried shaking his royal duties. He built a career in the royal navy, and has stayed out of the limelight, but his ship has been called to port indefinitely at the request of his brother, the King. Fate (in her many forms) brings Emma and Killian together and the resulting fic is a cute, fluffy, trope filled romp featuring heart felt moments, a healthy dose of insta-love and an assured happily ever after. Story rated M and will have 12 parts. Part 1 Here, Part 2 Here. Available on FF Here and AO3 Here.

A/N: Hey everyone! So thank you so much first and foremost for the love you guys have shown this fic. I have been so excited to write this and have been waiting ages to share it all with you. This is the kind of fluff and cuteness I personally need in my life right now, and I know a lot of you probably feel the same. Strap in for my usual dose of CS feels, and yes, for those of you asking, this is the moment CS will meet. Hope you all enjoy and thank you all so much for reading!

“And you’re sure you’ve got everything?” Emma asked, looking at Henry and knowing that he was ready to head into camp. They’d been over this numerous times, and at this point they were already out of the house and in front of the hall where campers congregated every morning. Still, Emma couldn’t help trying to soak up the moment with her kid just a little bit longer, and if that meant running through their list once more, so be it. “You have your lunch?”

“They give us lunch there, Mom.”

“Oh right,” she said, still shocked at how much was provided seeing as this program was free through the University. The children of all faculty and students were allowed to come, and it completely eradicated a need for her to find alternative childcare. Back in the States they had nothing like this built in anywhere. Getting Henry to camp previously either took a funding miracle, an insane amount of luck, or extra shifts at a second job. Usually he stayed with Mrs. H and Emma tried desperately to make it up to their neighbor. But now community sponsored help was becoming a given way of life, and every kid in Montenarro, no matter their background, seemed to have at least one path to a bright and happy summer.

“You’ve got your bag? How about water?”

“Yes and yes. We ran through this already, remember? I told you everything I had while you made breakfast.”

Emma smiled, knowing he was right, as crazy as it sounded. It was wild to her that on a weekday she would have the time, the patience, and the extra bit of cash to afford the spread they ate together today. They had eggs, fruit, bacon, oatmeal and there were fresh pastries if they wanted. It was like their special holiday brunch, which happened on Christmas or on one of their birthdays, but they’d had this or something similar every day for nearly two weeks. It might seem over the top, but between the later starting hours here in Montenarro, her reduced work schedule with a generous stipend, and the fairer prices at the markets, Emma finally felt like she could give her son what he deserved. For years they’d chowed down on discount cereal, and now, in an attempt to enjoy themselves and resemble their new neighbors, they were taking a slower, and far and away more luxurious approach.

“I remember, kid. So I’ll be back here at four, and if I’m a little late -,”

“I just hang out a while longer, I know,” Henry said, looking to the doorway. A grin appeared at his face as he spotted one of his new friends. The other young boy waved in their direction and Henry waved back, causing Emma’s heart to melt. Her son not only had friends here, he was thriving. He was so happy, and seeing him this way made her happy too. “You don’t have to rush, Mom. I know your work ends early now, but maybe you could do something just for yourself.”

“Are you trying to tell me you’d rather stay later?” Emma asked, and Henry looked embarrassed for a moment before nodding.

“Not too much later, but Michael and Talia stay until five, and we’ve got this cool game going that we made up yesterday. It’s kind of hard to explain. But I can come home at four still. It’s okay, I’ll just -,”

“No, no, Henry, I am thrilled that you’re having a good time. I’ll be here at five.”

“Cool! Thanks, Mom!” Henry exclaimed, giving her a quick hug before heading for the door. “See you at five!”

She watched him get in safely, and the director of the camp who she’d met last week wished her a fond hello as she checked in Henry. Her greeting was pleasant and polite, and Emma knew if she had time the woman would talk her ear off about what it was like to be from America or the upcoming summer festivals. As it was though, Emma had to get going. She wasn’t late for work or anything, but she was eager to get there. Her work at the JR foundation was shaping up to be amazing. She was learning a lot, but she already felt like one of the team. Everyone who was there appreciated her, not just for working and helping out, but for her ideas. They were so responsive to suggestions, and always willing to try out any new concepts Emma had only really read about in books.

Their director, Marco, wasn’t like a normal boss. He didn’t hover or micromanage or come across as inaccessible. In fact, despite all the other calls on his time, Marco was with them all helping the kids and participating in their activities as much as he could. That leadership was so amazing in a space like this, and from everything Emma had experienced, the precedent he set was entirely reflective of the culture at large. Every person at the institute was determined to do right by these kids, and the children, despite the sad circumstances surrounding most of their lives, were doing so well and seemed so happy despite it all.

It was only a few city blocks from Henry’s camp to the center, but Emma let herself linger in the walk. She moved more slowly, matching the pace of the people around her, who never seemed to rush, and instead just enjoyed each day as it came. People were always smiling and laughing, and even the fighting was good natured. The streets were bustling but not full. They were cleaned regularly, maintaining the gorgeous cobblestone walks and the beautiful vintage architecture. It was warm here – a quintessential coastal retreat in the Mediterranean that she’d only ever imagined in her dreams or seen on travel TV. Everything considered, it was the opposite of New York, and despite having lived in the city she and Henry called home for more than ten years, Emma had to admit she didn’t miss it… at least not as much as she thought she would.

Don’t get too attached, Emma. This is temporary. Enjoy it while you can, but your real life is nothing like this.

The voice in her head was negative, but had a point, and Emma had no choice but to heed the advice. She would enjoy every bit of this she could, but she couldn’t get too comfortable, otherwise she’d miss this when they left. Even thinking of the heartbreak that may come if Henry continued to love it here so much left her reeling, but Emma carried on, pushing down that worry as she made her way past the institute’s front gates. It was important that she be in the right headspace when walking through these doors. The kids deserved her at 100%, and that was what she planned to be for them. Shaking off the worry from moments ago she moved inside, and as soon as she arrived, she was greeted by the sound of children running and laughing.

Some people might look at this place right now, apparently filled to the brim with kids who were wired and excitable now that it was officially summer and the school term was over, and think that this was chaos, but Emma knew better by now. Every child here ranging in age from six months to sixteen was attended to and accounted for. They had a large brood of kids, with sixty-seven at last count, and this was the biggest home under the JR foundation, though there were half a dozen more around the small country. Many children who were here would eventually be adopted, or would merge into part of a nationally funded fostering program, known for being one of the best systems in the world. In their last two years of school, older children went to special homes or foster placements designed just for them, to give them the attention and time they needed (instead of leaving them to the wayside for the sake of younger, needier children), and to prepare them for life outside of the system. Emma would eventually shadow a center that worked with those young adults, but for now, she was enjoying the hustle and bustle of the general group.

“Look, Char, it’s Emma!” one young boy named Thomas proclaimed to his little sister Charlotte from across the room, and in seconds every child had turned and was excitedly greeting her. Some of them came right up to hug her or give her a high five, but at the very least they all nodded in her direction and chirped out a fond hello.

“Good morning everyone,” Emma said, noticing the bags along the doorway and how the older kids were dressed in a uniform of navy colored shorts and florescent green shirts. “Did I miss something?” Emma asked aloud, not really to anyone in particular, but an answer came from one of the institute’s most trusted sources.

“Flora is taking the older children to the seaside today for a science lesson.”

The woman who filled Emma in was named Elsa, and despite the humidity in the air and the exuberance of the children all around them, she was totally put together and looked completely unstressed. Her hair was tied back in her usual braid, and her turquoise colored summer dress flowed in a way that looked poised for a summer catalogue. Elsa was effortless in an enviable way, but she was so kind and eager to be of help that Emma couldn’t begin to muster jealousy. In a short time Emma had begun to consider Elsa a friend, but though the two of them were roughly the same age, Emma was still a student and Elsa was a fully-fledged child psychologist who lived at the institute full time. She, and her sister Anna, who also worked at the institute, but as an activity’s coordinator, were two peas in a pod, but they’d done everything they could to include Emma and help her get her bearings in this new world.

“Lessons? In the summer?” Emma asked, not surprised that the institute was providing supplementary schooling year-round. She’d seen as much since starting here, but she was more taken aback at how excited these kids looked. Every child aged ten and older was gathered down here, no doubt waiting to fill the two institute vans out back. Still, how fun could a science lesson be?

“We use the term lessons lightly. For the rest of the morning the children will explore the tide pools at the national endowment’s shoreline about an hour north. There are some very unique ecosystems there, and so there is a whole lot to learn. But Flora will have them break for lunch and Anna takes over in the afternoon.”

“What’s she got in store for them?” Emma asked and Elsa shook her head.

“Well I can’t exactly say, as I’ve been sworn to secrecy.” Her smile grew at how silly that sounded, and she looked over her shoulder to check for Anna, but gave a little more when she saw that the coast was clear. “Let’s just say it’s going to be a jam-packed day that will go out with a blaze of glory.”

The emphasis Elsa used on the word ‘blaze’ made Emma think that there would likely be a beachside bonfire included, but before she could get confirmation, things started moving quickly. The older kids were summoned to the shuttles to go out for their day, and Emma meanwhile saw the clock and realized it was time for her to report to Marco’s office to get her assignment for the day. Moving through the playroom and the sunroom, which had the younger children and the babies respectively, she finally found her way and after knocking she walked into the brightly lit hub of all things here at the institute.

“Ah, good morning, Emma,” Marco said with a big smile, waving her in and gesturing that she should take a seat beside one of the other workers at the institute, Marie. Marie was Marco’s second in command, and though she never used the phase herself, the children had taken to calling her Nana. She had a maternal way about her, and every child seemed to love her as they might a favorite grandmother. “You’re here just in time. I’ve been talking with Marie and we think that today would be a perfect opportunity to try one of your intervention measures.”

“Really?” Emma asked, surprised, but excited at the thought. This would be the third that they had tried, and the last two had gone off without a hitch. “Which one?”

“The ‘Music Makes Me…’ one seems like a good choice. We have a few children who, to now, have been less responsive to our normal socializing measures. Their either shy or hurting, and we’re hoping to help them open up. Elsa’s our counselor on shift today and she’s eager to help oversee this. You’ll take the lead, but she’ll be there for any help you might need. We realize it’s a long-term project,” Marco said, looking down at a piece of paper to check his facts. “You wrote here three times a week for eight weeks. Is that right?”

“Yes, sir. Ideally. Positive identity work can start yielding results as soon as three weeks, but the Princeton Psychology Review did a study this winter that showed children’s habit forming reaches its peak effectiveness after the eight-week mark.”

“And this is one of the projects you modeled off of your own parenting experience, correct?” Marco asked as Emma nodded. Her throat grew tight at the genuine emotion behind this tactic, but this was a place with people she trusted not to judge her. As such, she shared what sparked the idea.

“When Henry first started school, he was one of the only kids that wasn’t in a two-parent household. Even the other single parents had some sort of family behind them, like grandparents, aunts and uncles, or other kids. I’m not exactly sure how long he struggled with being different in that way, he’s an independent kid and he kept his pain over that closed in, probably to spare me from being worried. But when his teachers gave me their assessment and told me what they thought was happening, I set something not dissimilar to this up. We tried painting and crafting to express his emotions, but the music seemed to help so much more.”

“It’s really remarkable, the way you’ve melded your experience with your son and your own past in with all of this cutting-edge research. It’s one of the many reasons we’re so thrilled you’re with us this year,” Marie said cheerfully and Emma warmed at the comment. Telling the story of her son’s pain at not having a father, however vague she had kept it, was hard, especially because Emma lay awake many nights wondering if he was missing something fundamental by not having a father. She wondered if it may hurt him in the long run. But she was reassured by the fact that she always did her best for Henry, and that her experience could help not just her son, but the children here who had no present parents at all.

“Given that it’s rather late notice, do you think you can manage? We’ve got a window right now for a few hours. Elsa’s already selected the children who may need the intervention most. She kept it in the 5-8 age range as you suggested.”

Emma immediately assured them that she could pull this together, as the concept was not hard. Basically what this practice/exercise included was playing music that was grounded in emotion. Some that were happy, some more subdued, some fast, and some slow, and encouraging kids to do what they wanted when they heard that. For Henry he’d always loved to run around and dance at the fast-paced songs. Then the slower ones were always more interesting. Sometimes he picked up a favorite toy, drew a picture on the supplies she left out, or created his own little imaginary game. All the while, however, Emma’s job was to engage, support, and ask questions.

The questions always started mildly. What’s your favorite color today? (she’d learned early not to box her son into ultimate favorites). If you could have any snack in the world what would you choose? What animal makes the funniest sound? Then the questions would evolve. Her son, like many kids, was a vivid dreamer and Emma often asked about those night time visions. Sometimes they meant nothing but sometimes they told her a lot. She wanted to include that with these kids, but also include more focused questions to them about how they felt here at the institute, what they felt like when they told people from the outside about living here, and what they dreamed of for the future. She’d always ended each session with Henry in two parts. The first was to ask Henry what his biggest wish was for someone else, and the second was to ask his biggest wish for himself. Kids at his age were filled with wishes and wants, but Emma knew from personal experience, that that may already be flickering away in kids without parents. She’d been seven years old when her hope truly started to fade away, and she believed if she’d had these kind of positive affirmations and people who were working to see her happy and well situated, her relationship with the world and herself would have been much easier.

In the end, Marco, Marie, and Elsa decided that there were five best candidates for today’s intervention. Stella and Timothy were a biological brother and sister who had been at the institute for about a year. They were eight and six, and both of them were doing pretty well despite their parents losing custody of them from continued problems with substance abuse. They were likely moving into a fostering situation by the end of the summer, but they had been here a bit longer than normal because they were bonded together and making that accommodation took patience and the right placement. According to Elsa, Stella’s teachers a few times had mentioned her shyness, especially when people brought up her home life. Malek was a seven-year-old boy from a similar situation, though his father was in the process of getting clean for his son. The institute was always cautious for replacement with parents who struggled, but if his father could demonstrate stability and stay clean a full year, the legal system would grant him custody again. Malek, understandably, had mixed feelings about going back, and Emma wanted to try and help him with those through this process. Carlos, meanwhile, was a rambunctious six-year-old who had been given up at birth. He was shaped by his status as an orphan, and had a few close adoption calls that ultimately fell through. Luckily, though, a new family with sincere interest and the means to take care of him was stepping up, and they had exactly eight weeks before the system would process their filing for adoption, a perfect amount of time to help Carlos with some of these image issues before he settled into his new home.

The final child in Emma’s care today, however, was Cecilia, or as the other children called her, ‘CeeCee.’ Cecelia was a newcomer to the institute, and at just barely five years old, she was the youngest in Emma’s group today. She was quiet and withdrawn, but given her background that was all to be expected. At such a young age Cecelia had already been through so much. When she was two her parents had tragically passed in a car accident, and she’d moved in with her grandmother. Her grandmother was loving and did everything she could for her, but she was in poor health, and was now in need of care herself. Emma wasn’t here on the day that Cecelia came to the foundation, but Elsa had mentioned it with tears in her eyes a few days prior.

“I’ve seen so much heartbreak in this job, but watching that little girl realize she was being left behind… It was awful. She cried so quietly and for so long. It took us weeks to get her to say anything at all.”

Even now Cecelia was always quiet. She’d blended in a bit more with the other children, but she wasn’t particularly bonded to any of them. She had grown to be more trusting of the adults, but not in a really promising way. With Emma she’d always been sweet and well-tempered, but Emma hoped that this process might help her, and might get her to a place where she could be better socialized and cared for. The next few hours proved to be even more promising than Emma dared to hope. All five children not only had fun, but made good steps towards progress. They all confided a little bit in Emma and Elsa, and they all responded well to the method. When Emma asked them if they’d like to do this again in a few days, all five of them were thrilled, and little Cecelia, who was normally so shy, was the biggest shock of all. Over the course of the few hours she’d opened up so much to Emma, and by the end of the session she was holding Emma’s hand tightly, intent on going with her through her day. Emma was so happy to see this little girl doing so much better, and she had to admit she was invested in this child, perhaps more than any other she’d met so far at the institute.

“Do you think it’s all right?” Emma asked, motioning downwards, but not saying everything aloud. The last thing she wanted was for Cecelia to not feel wanted when she’d made such tremendous progress, but she was worried about what might happen if she grew too attached.

“This happens sometimes. Kids have a sense for safe spaces. She was already responding really well to you before,” Elsa said, crouching down and waving at Cecelia, sharing a soft compliment for the toy rabbit she was carrying with her today, which made the little girl smile and chirp out a gentle ‘Thank You.’ Even that little show of gratitude and the genuine smile was an improvement, and Emma felt a burst of pride seeing this young girl come out of her shell. “We’ll keep an eye on it, but I think it’s best to see where it goes. She’s showing no signs of dependency, and hopefully you’ll be the perfect gateway for her to let the rest of us in.”

Emma hoped that Elsa was right, and as everyone in the center gathered for lunch, Cecelia stayed close by. Emma did her best to stay attentive to all of the kids who choose to eat with her today, but she also wanted to lead this lost little girl towards others who may be her friends. She was making good progress with another five-year-old named Ava, who was eager to be friendlier with Cecelia, when Marie approached, appearing frazzled and a little shaken.

“Is everything all right?” Emma asked, careful to keep her words calm and her tone even so as not to scare the kids. Her instincts were that something bad must be happening, but Marie shook her head, quickly dispelling her of that notion.

“Everything is wonderful, dear. We just have an unexpected visitor – actually I guess visitor is the wrong word. He’ll be staying on here for a while to work with us all. It’s a bit unexpected, but I dare say it’ll prove a delight in the end, for us and for the children.”

“Who is it that’s coming?” Emma asked, and Marie looked poised to blurt something out, but then caught herself and weighed her words carefully.

“One of the members of the family who run the foundation.”

Emma now began to understand the sudden rise in stress. Whatever JR stood for, and whichever family it was that could afford to spend so much on these resources, they must be both terribly rich and powerful. Being so new here, Emma didn’t know any background about the endowment, but she hoped that whoever was coming would be a help and not a hindrance. Surely they’d come here and see how much good work was being accomplished. She hated to think they’d be coming to make cuts or roll back funding.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Emma asked and Marie shook her head.

“Oh no dear. You’re doing a wonderful job. This isn’t an assessment of any kind. I believe it’s a genuine act of charity. You see he’s been in the military, and now he’s come home. His family’s no doubt pushing him towards some kind of occupation, and he’s chosen this as his pursuit.”

Emma wanted to ask more, about if this mystery man had any experience with kids or why, even if he was so very rich, Marie displayed school-girlish enthusiasm at his coming, but the older woman moved on to handle something else. Instead Emma waved Elsa over and asked her if she knew the man who was coming.

“Of course I do, everyone knows him,” Elsa said, thoroughly adamant that this stranger was of some notoriety. Then her features softened and she took on a thoughtful expression. “Well I suppose we know of him. We’ve never met, you see. But it’s impossible not to know him.”

Emma nodded, but she was still somewhat surprised. To this point she hadn’t gathered a sense that the family who ran the endowment was exceedingly involved in the day to day of the center. But then again, Elsa had been here far longer than her, and so she probably needed to keep track of the important players who were their most generous donors. Emma could have remained hung up on the strangeness of it all, but instead her mind wandered to the few details she did know. He was a military man, newly home, and he was coming here to make a difference. She thought about that and what that meant, and she found that she already liked him, or at least his attitude. Serving in the armed forces meant a life of service – to come home from that and still want to help others was admirable, and she hoped it would provide a good role model for the children, no matter what his actual child life background might be.

From the window in the great hall where all of the children and staff took their meals, they could all see down the back drive where a second entrance to the center was located. At that moment three black SUVs began their ascent, and the children’s attention immediately perked up as they ran to the windows. Emma felt the growing anticipation at the new arrival, and she wondered why there would need to be three SUVs. It reminded her of the protective details that sometimes came in the city, when big time politicians made their way to city hall where she worked for some sort of meeting or photo op. But what would be the reason for such a display today? Why would anyone need one of those when coming to a children’s center? It was hard to grasp, but then she questioned her instinct. The men who exited from the vehicles weren’t in high profile suits. They were more casually dressed, just like any workers here at the center. She wasn’t able to see all of them, but soon enough there were voices in the hall. Marco and Marie greeted the newcomer, and Emma only caught a snippet of the conversation.

“We’re thrilled to have you here, Sir.”

“Killian, please.”

“Killian. Right, sorry. That may take getting used to.”

“Not a problem. We have time.”

Emma was caught up in the sound of the new voice. It was distant, but even from here she felt an impact at the gravel in the tone and the lilt of the accent. It washed over her, sparking a sizzling sensation that was foreign to her, and after weeks in this country she’d always found the accent pleasing, but never responded like this. She found herself wanting to know what this man looked like, to see what kind of appearance could go with a voice that enticing, but she was getting ahead of herself. What did it matter what he looked like? He was going to be a coworker, right? This was hardly the time or place to be interested in someone. Still her stomach swooped with the tell-tale flutter of butterflies and she shifted in her seat. The action, along with the new voice in the hall, sparked something in Cecelia to change from comfortable to tense. The young girl grabbed at Emma’s shirt, latching on for a sense of perceived safety. Emma’s heart reached out to this poor, sweet girl, and she took her hand gently, trying to assure her as swiftly as she could.

“It’s all right, honey. You’re safe here. I promise.”

“I don’t like strangers,” Cecelia said and Emma tried not to get misty eyed at the sense of uncertainty this little girl held so tight.

“I was a stranger once, wasn’t I?” Emma asked and Cecelia considered that before nodding.

“But you’re nice to me. You read us stories and play us music. You’re my most favorite friend.”

“And you are my friend too, honey. So let’s wait and see what kind of person he is before we decide if we like him, okay? You never know – he could be your favorite too.”

Cecelia looked skeptical but ultimately agreed, and Emma was glad to have that sorted. She had been so focused on curtailing Cecelia’s worry that she forgot where they were. Now she noticed everyone else was standing, children and staff alike, so she helped Cecelia down from her seat and stood up herself. The sounds of people walking in played out around her, but Emma took a moment to make sure her young charge was settled before looking back up. She patted Cecelia’s hair and brushed her full brown curls from her face, with care. Only then did she look up. But when she did, she never could have expected what would happen.

As her eyes took in the stranger, their gazes met, and she was struck by a sense of recognition and realization that she’d never felt before. Something clicked for her in that moment, in the first few seconds of their seeing each other, and her awareness grew stronger and stronger. So much bubbled up to the surface, emotions and feelings and desire and interest. It was like something was opened within her, and she felt drawn into this man and unable to resist. This stranger had blue eyes, intense but warm all at once, piercing in a way that they seemed like she knew them and they knew her. Instinctively she looked to the rest of him - Killian he said his name was - but it didn’t help her sense of disorientation. His face was remarkable, strong and sure. His hair was dark, and his figure was no doubt honed for the expectations of his years of military service. She felt herself taking him all in, and then caught herself and thought about what a scene she was making. This wasn’t appropriate. Oggling this man just because he was hot – okay more than hot, he was… god was it lame to say perfect – oh Christ she was doing it again. She needed to stop, but when she looked up at him, she caught him doing the same thing to her. It was incredible to feel his interest, and for a moment it was like the world stopped spinning so the two of them could find each other.

Find each other? Jesus, Emma, get a grip. The thought ran through her head as Marco began to address them all.

“Everyone, this is our newest friend here at the institute, Killian.”

“You’re big,” a boy named Seamus called out, unceremoniously and for a beat Marco and Marie looked concerned, but Killian only laughed.

“You should see my brother.”

“Is he coming too?” Marie asked, looking like she might actually be done in by the news.

“No, ma’am,” Killian said with a small smile and Marie let out a sigh of relief. What was that about?

“Why do you stand so straight?” another boy asked and Killian explained.

“I was in the royal navy.” This was met by a chorus of oohs and aahs, from the girls and boys alike.

“Are you a good person?” someone asked, and only after a moment did Emma realize it was Cecelia. She was shocked at the display of bravery from her little companion, but then that was compounded by Killian’s movement towards them. He split his looks between Cecelia and her, but when he approached he crouched down so as to be eye level with the little girl.

“What’s your name, little one?”

“Cecelia.”

“Cecelia. That’s a beautiful name,” he said honestly and Cecelia swayed side to side a bit with the compliment. “Now as for your question, I certainly try to be good.”

“But you’re a stranger,” Cecelia said, looking at him with a furrowed brow, as if this was some kind of simple math he should understand.

“For now I am. But not forever, I hope.”

“My Emma was a stranger too. She’s a good person. Are you like my Emma?”

Now Killian rose to full height and he addressed Emma as much as he did Cecelia. “I do like her.” Emma’s heart skipped and then she watched his face shift in embarrassment as he realized what he said. “I mean I hope I’m like her, lass. But only time will tell.”

“Miss Emma, does time talk?” Cecelia asked and Emma bit her lip to keep from laughing as her eyes caught Killian’s again.

“No, honey. It’s an expression. It means that with a little bit of time you will know if he’s a good person. You just have to be patient.”

The look Killian gave her in that moment was packed with so much. Gratitude, interest, and something more. There was a charge between them that she just couldn’t deny, and she could tell he felt it too. But before he could say anymore, Marco called everyone’s attention again.

“Anyone have any ideas as to how we should welcome Killian?” he asked and a chorus of answers came flooding in.

“I know! I know! We should show him our giving tree.”

“No! We should show him our playground!”

“I want to show him my pirate ship!”

“We should feed him the turnovers Cook makes. She hides them in a secret spot but I know where they are!”

“Well that all sounds brilliant, especially the turnovers. Why don’t we do all of it?” Killian asked, before looking to Marco who nodded readily. The kids looked excited, and were eager to go, but before things got too crazy, Killian looked back at Emma and grinned.

“It was a pleasure meeting you, Emma.”

And with that, and with so much swag and sexiness it made her a little dizzy, this mysterious new man set off, throwing himself into the deep end with these kids, and showing them all that he could hold as own, just as surely as he could hold her attention.

Post-Note: So there we have it! I know, I know, you’re probably mad I kept their meeting so short and waited until the very end, but next chapter I am planning to include this first meeting from Killian’s POV. This story, as much as any of my stories can, has a bit of a slower build, because there are a lot of elements I really want to include, but I promise there’s plenty of fluff in store and a lot of cuteness that yet to come. Thank you all so much for reading, and I really hope you’ll leave a comment or a review. I’d love to see what you all think and what you’d like to see going forward in this new fic. Anyway, I will do my best to update soon (probably next weekend), but in the meantime I hope you’re all well, safe, and happy in this uncertain time!

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rpgmgames · 5 years ago

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February’s Featured Game: Ressurflection

DEVELOPER(S): charlottezxz ENGINE: RPG Maker MV GENRE: Fantasy, Cartoon, RPG WARNINGS: Paranoia, fear and tension, mild swearing and blood. SUMMARY: Ressurflection is a Fantasy/cartoon RPG set in the fictional universe of the Arbvar and taking center stage primarily at the coastal city of ‘Horizon Bluff’. Its story and game play are heavily character driven, with its narrative divided into two parallels told both within and outside the mirror itself. Ressurflection’s core themes draw from our inevitability of fearing death, and that at some point or another, we all must accept it, and to treasure what’s really important in the time that we have.

Our Interview With The Dev Team Below The Cut!

Introduce yourself! *charlottezxz: Hiya this is Charlotte, lead game developer for Ressurflection! I’m some silly, overactive drawing monkey who works a lot with Narrow on Ressurflection! I’m always sketching and conceptualizing monster bois, taking a lot of inspiration from various games, primarily monster hunter! I’ve had avid interest in the Indie scene for a while now and a lot of the great friends I've made have been due to it and a lot of my recent favorite games have come from it! I would have had Narrow say a few things here but he’s hiding in a corner somewhere!

What is your project about? What inspired you to create this game initially? *charlottezxz: Ressurflection started out as what can be described as two separate stories. Myself and Narrow wrote our own stories and every so often we swapped over ideas or combined them together with each other. One day I said to ourselves ‘You know what? This could work quite well as a game rather than just a story’ so eventually Ressurflection was conceived, around the idea of a mythical mirror capable ‘Ressurflection’ the title of the game. We’ve gone through quite a few iterations of the story before it came to its current form and to be honest if we even showed or compared them side by side they’d be pretty unrecognizable as the same thing except for certain characters, locations and the mirror itself to identify its primordial form having any kind of ancestral relevance to how it is today. As for what Ressurflection is about, I think our synopsis can get that across quite nicely! ‘Horizon Bluff has always annually held its ‘Legend of the Wyvern Glass’ festivities. The Wyvern glass was a long lost mythical mirror, once fabled for its power of ‘Ressurflection’ and coveted by a kingdom now all but gone. That is quick to change however with the arrival of the Roulette Runner’s circus to the coastal city of Horizon Bluff. Trouble is soon to set in motion not just the kingdom’s sudden reappearance but the entrapment of one of their own acrobats within the mirror silver. Yet things are soon to worsen...with the spread of a purple ‘corruption’ across the city and the fact that our most unfortunate trouper is far from alone within the mirror, finding himself at the mercy of its ‘Mirror Maiden’. > The apparent all powerful manipulator of its realm…’

How long have you been working on your project? *charlottezxz: Conceptually we have been working on it for 4 years which is hard to even fathom, however that’s more tinkering around the idea for the story and conceiving it as we learnt the engine. The blog itself is hitting its 4th birthday in February! Ressuflection’s development went on as i attended university, so its always been a side lined hobby of ours.Steam says 108 days worth of hours in the engine and most of the game progress other than concepts has been done in 2019. So I could say 4 years for the ideas/stories and concepts and a year of that for actual game making!

Did any other games or media influence aspects of your project? *charlottezxz: We each have our own inspirations, Lost Odyssey, Final Fantasy 9, Xenoblade Chronicles, Monster hunter and many older PSX titles such as Medievil, Tomba and Heart of darkness are great influences and inspirations to me personally. The dark, dangerous environments of Heart of darkness contrasted by some innocent characters, the monster designs in capcom’s franchise and the storytelling and themes with a cinematic approach to cut scenes found in some of FF9, Xenoblade and Lost odyssey, a lost game stuck in the recess of the xbox 360. There are many more but these spring to mind first and foremost. Narrow himself draws inspiration from games such as Earthbound, the Persona series and FF10!

Have you come across any challenges during development? How have you overcome or worked around them? *charlottezxz: We started the project in VX ace to begin with, until MV released. It was in Ace that I experimented learning RPG maker and in the early days of MV too. Although before Ressurflection’s time i also dabbled a bit in XP. MV seemed more in line for what we wanted, as i really wanted to try animating beyond SV sheets and do more, with Java being a bit more flexible and the scope of it being able to allow dragon bones later. However it hasn’t been without its hiccups! Part of that is the sheer amount of time you underestimate games and certain elements to take in their development. That and everything that comes with it, streamlining, trimming the fat...in the past week alone i spent days optimizing pictures, sounds and music in the game to cut down the staggering file sizes they were. So far they have retained their form without being as costly on the MB! Since I do the vast majority of the game development myself, everything takes a lot longer to develop. You underestimate all the little things to consider and that you may need later. By the end of development, I hope to have the vast majority of the game consist of custom assets and be able to truly call it something that is ours. Though that path is long ahead we won’t stray too far from it.

Have any aspects of your project changed over time? How does your current project differ from your initial concept? *charlottezxz: The game itself has always been a story-driven RPG at its heart, although certain game mechanics have been scaled down or developed further from puzzles to battle flow. As mentioned previously, the story has changed considerably which changed the direction of the overall narrative and gameplay as a whole. Certain characters and scenarios have been culled completely too. At its start the story wasn’t as heartfelt nor was the scope of the story all that big - Oh and the game had a time limit, a bit like Majora’s Mask! But it is a lot more meaningful now and we hope that you will enjoy it when the time comes.

What was your team like at the beginning? How did people join the team? If you don’t have a team, do you wish you had one or do you prefer working alone? *charlottezxz: It has been just myself and Narrow for the majority of the development but we reached a point where we wanted to reach out to find a musician for our game. We eventually came across Geoff who has done the majority of our music up until recently. However we have had friends help and contribute along the way such as Harry helping sprite some NPCs for me, Bart helping formulate and do some math balancing, Vaijack has also contributed to music making him our second musical boi and more on the way, our preliminary demo testers( it would take a little to list them all) and more peeps i’ll be sure to credit!

What is the best part of developing a game? *charlottezxz: For me it has to be conceptualising all the little ideas we have and bringing them all into being. This is especially so for any monster and character bois! I spend a lot of time visualizing and planning the design of areas, locales and creatures. Would this thing live here? Why would it be this way? If this is a historical town wouldn’t it have x and x? Then when we ultimately put it together, and all the pieces of the puzzle line into place and then you can just...experience, the final thing, that for me is the best part in developing our game for me.

Do you find yourself playing other RPG Maker games to see what you can do with the engine, or do you prefer to do your own thing? *charlottezxz: I learn best by doing, so more often than not I just dive into things, including the engine blind and tussle around with it. It’s a silly way of doing it, but I've often found myself learning more that way than following tutorials. Although in any game I've played, RPG maker or not, i do like to ponder and deconstruct scenes within them. The Witch's house, Pocket Mirror, Dreaming Mary, Mad fathers and Ib are all wonderful games that are great to learn from, dissect and understand what makes and made them tick. This applies across any game I've played or intend to play! I look at game making as one giant puzzle with lots of intricate little details that need to be solved, it’s more fun and engaging that way!

Which character in your game do you relate to the most and why? (Alternatively: Who is your favorite character and why?) *charlottezxz: There’s some characters I like a great deal, but i can’t talk about as it would be spoilers to the plot, that and it’s hard to pick any overall favorites. Charm comes across as a fun character to write for as she’s quite witty and sarcastic, the kind of dialogue that comes a bit too naturally to me. She’s a budding magical prodigy of the circus under the tutelage of Jerine. She bigs herself up a lot but isn’t quite ready to deal with the problems of the adult world just yet, as much as she strives to get into it. Then there’s the likes of Ashley as well, she’s the loudest circus member and a close friend to Zakai, its ringmaster. She’s a super hard working down to earth country girl who isn’t afraid to get her hands dirty and jump into the thick of things. Honestly I love all the cast, but there’s those two for now!

Looking back now, is there anything that regret/wish you had done differently? *charlottezxz: I would say ideally we should have had all our ducks in a row before we dove into development. My development style is very messy, especially since when we started development we had a lot of learning ahead of us. That combined with focusing on a lot of coursework and real life things meant I often forgot how we made things for consistency. This has improved considerably since i started getting more organised now, keeping lists and things tabbed for reference. My desk has bits of paper kept with it with information I need to retain. I forget far too many things for my own good, but now I'm taking better count measures! I would advise anyone to keep tabs of important information about your game such as consistent sprite style sizes, resolution size, x and y positions of certain things and important variables and switches.

Do you plan to explore the game’s universe and characters further in subsequent projects, or leave it as-is? *charlottezxz: There’s a few ideas bounced about to do side stories for some of the cast of characters in the circus, such as before they became one and the origins of how certain members joined the circus essentially the ‘First Stringers’ and ‘Second stringers’, these being those that joined afterwards. These would be great to do as small little episodes added onto the game post development, but currently they are just ideas and won’t be given too much thought until the game is either done or close to fruition.

What do you most look forward to upon finishing the game? *charlottezxz: My most hopeful thought is for people to enjoy the game and have as much fun and interest in it as myself and Narrow have had in creating it. It’s the kind of game we want to make and hope that the characters and story chime with people enough for people to see the journey through to its end! It’s a big scope of a project but i have endless enthusiasm for it, no matter how long it takes it will get out there at some point!

Is there something you’re afraid of concerning the development or the release of your game? *charlottezxz: That the games story and overall feel doesn’t quite hit the right notes, it's always a little back concern. From a technical perspective I would say that the game might have some oversighted bugs or critical crashes that slip under the radar or not run as smoothly on other PCs on release. We will do our best to optimise the game as much as possible for MV and squash those pesky bugs during testing, but it is on our minds often as a niggling fear.

Do you have any advice for upcoming devs? *charlottezxz: Gut everything from the base project that you know you most definitely will not be needing and give all your files smart tags and naming conventions. It would be great if MV allowed for sub folders, but it does not so naming your files smartly is key to finding what you need. Any of these files you know you will use often in certain ways, make them common events and call for those in events and cut scenes. This saves you mass editing them later. With naming conventions this could be Actor_1_Hurt or Chapter_1_NPC. Anything you want at the top of the list name it with _ to begin with. The bigger our project gets, the more important this has become for us and we hope it serves other inspiring devs well all the same.

Question from last month's featured dev @rojisroomrpg: How do you keep yourself happy and healthy when making your game? *charlottezxz: I’m normally a happy-go-lucky person, so I'm rarely not happy when working on Ressurflection. It's the happy little hobby I devote most of my spare time to. However, recently i would say my hands, wrists and neck have been hurting from spending a little too much time drawing assets and pieces for the game. Taking more breaks and spreading that time with other activities in between has helped to ease that pain and i would like to advise any dev to do so for their own health, including always having one or two bottles of juice, water or whatever beverage always at hand to sip at as you dev away!

We mods would like to thank charlottezxz for agreeing to our interview! We believe that featuring the developer and their creative process is just as important as featuring the final product. Hopefully this Q&A segment has been an entertaining and insightful experience for everyone involved!

Remember to check out Ressurflection if you haven’t already! See you next month!

- Mods Gold & Platinum

#ressurflection #gotm #game of the month #rpgmaker #rpg maker #rpg maker games #ressurflection game #gotm 2020 #2020 #february 2020 #february #indie games #games

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makotokyoqoku-archived · 4 years ago

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48 character development questions: jenny q.

1. How old are they? in the comics, 12-14; logically, she'd be 20 rn but we all know that comics dont work that way, so shes stuck being 12-14.

2. What gender are they? cis in the comics but in all of my headcanons, xe's nonbinary (genderfluid; she/her & xe/xyr/xyrself).

3. What is their romantic/sexual orientation? lesbian/bi, still not quite sure but she knows she loves girls.

4. How tall are they? 5'2" bc I'm Me and no fav character is gonna be taller than me.

5. What do they look like? dark curly hair, piercing brown eyes; a cut through the left eyebrow; have many ear piercings, snake bites piercings, and a septum ring. theres four beauty marks, randomly spaced, behind her right ear, and she have a birthmark on the inside of her wrist. I've way too many faceclaims/fancasts for jenny, namely charlene chua (model), mable chee, leah lewis, jessica sula, haley or brianne tju (since they're both sisters and I can see them both as jenny).

6. What are their defining features? the cut in the brow, the piercings, and how xyr eyes literally glow in the dark like a cat's eyes due to xyr powers.

7. Does their name have a meaning? well, jenny is a diminutive form of jane which is taken from jehanne, and—as jennifer—the cornish form of guinevere; in the first case, it means "yahweh is gracious/merciful", and in the second it means "fair one" & "white wave" (it's a popular name too, anyway.)

8. What family do they have? apollo & midnighter are her dads, shen li min/swift & angie spica/the engineer are her aunts—basically all of the authority. xe's also the reincarnated spirit of jenny sparks so ig that makes j. sparks her sister or mother???? it's not really clear in the comics at all but in my hcs, they're siblings.

9. Do they have a good relationship with their family? eyup!!! a rocky relationship w angie & jack, but w everyone else yeah jenny does have a good one w them.

10. If not, why not? well with angie its bc of how kinda neglectful she was of jenny when xe was 5 years old. but they kinda sorta patched things up—they didnt talk about it and angie never apologized bc she doesnt see she did anything wrong so its... rocky. with jack.. he did make himself the president of america & made all the other governments in the world give up their respective seats of power and thus practically made himself the sole emperor of the whole world... so yeah, yeah jenny hates him for that.

11. Where do they live? opal city w her dads!! and also on the carrier, the sentient ship that travels through dimensions.

12. Is it a safe place? eyup!!! or... as safe as the carrier can be, anyway.

13. Are they poor, middle-class or wealthy? uhhhh I guess middle class?? idk

14. Do they look up to anyone? her dads, aunt shen,, dinah lance/black canary, the superfamily but especially superman... that's it.

15. Who is their best friend? she never had any in the comics—she was pretty isolated, in the comics. in all of my hcs, though, shes friends w a lot of dc's child & teen characters.

16. Do they have any enemies? aside from the usual enemies trying to destroy the world? no, xe dont.

17. Who is the person they hate most in the world? anyone who tries to ruin people's lives is someone jenny hates... so that's a whole lot of people to list.

18. Do they have any love/hate relationships? nope!!! I mean, jenny does have a love-hate relationship w online multiplayer games, and bad movies. (the latter is more of a guilty pleasure.)

19. Have they ever fallen in love? nope... not in the comics anyway. and honestly I've never thought about this so I dont have any hc for it.

20. Who is the person they love the most in the world? xyr dads!!!

21. Does that person love them back? eyup!!!! to the point where they spoil her rotten, actually.

22. Have they ever hurt or lost anyone? well... she did kill a few villains in self defense as a child so if that counts as hurting someone then yeah, she did.... and also lost apollo when he died in orlando's midnighter & apollo comic but then he came back so there is that.

23. Are they a good shoulder to cry on? ...honestly? kind of. shes the kind of person who, if you went to her w your problems, she'll just tell you how to solve them—them she's still supportive of her friends & family, dont get me wrong, but shes first and foremost a problem solver, and shes through a whole lot of bullshit bc shes perceptive as fuck too, so she'll take your problems and tell you how to deal w them but only after you calmed down from crying your eyes out to her.

24. Are they well liked? we... never got to see that in the comics so it's up to me, again: yes, xe is.

25. How do they handle being complimented? takes it all in strides—the ego boost is nice, too, but xe doesnt let it get into xyr head. xe's humble and modest about it, basically.

26. Are they an affectionate person? with her words, yes, and sometimes even with her actions, but its only with people she knows & trusts.

27. Are they very driven? very much so.

28. What kind of state is the world that they live in? ... I mean, its complicated bc comics are like That so I've no idea. but also like, its 2020.

29. What are the world leaders like? I mean its 2020 even in the comics, so theres that.

30. Does the character worry about their place in society? no, she doesnt.

31. If they could change one thing, what would it be? bold of you to assume it would be just one thing—the thing is that xe could quite literally change reality to how xe wants it to be and no one can do anything to try and stop xyr from doing so... except xe'd hate xyrself for doing that and xyr conscious & morality is the only one thing that's really stopping xyr.

32. Do they like themselves? yes.

33. Are they a good person? yes. chaotic, but good.

34. Are they very forgiving? no lmao, xe holds grudges.

35. Do they believe in destiny? kind of yeah.

36. Are they trustworthy? absolutely.

37. Are they a good liar? no fkskxnsm she cannot lie to save herself, especially from her parents.

38. How do they react to criticism? takes them with strides, although sometimes she doesn't take it well.

39. What is their moral alignment? chaotic good.

40. Can they fight? yes. her parents sure that she took self-defense classes... from them.

41. Would they ever purposefully hurt someone? no, absolutely not. xe'll only hurt someone in self-defense or, in the case of a villain, to stop them.

42. Have they ever been seriously injured? the cut that runs through xyr eyebrow is a scar that xe got when xe slipped & fell on a rock when xe was 4 years old.

43. Do they know first aid? no.

44. Do they have any other survival skills? a lot of survival skills are literally installed into her dna dye to millenials of existence.

45. Are they a fast learner? yes but it also depends on what she's learning—the self defense lessons took a while, so did the skateboard lessons, and cooking; little things like that.

46. How intelligent are they? as intelligent as a 14 years old is.

47. What is their job? the universe's self-defense mechanism... and a middle school student.

48. Do they enjoy their job? try being a 14 years old & having the responsibility of being the self-defense mechanism of AN ENTIRE UNIVERSE on your shoulders... no she doesn't enjoy it but knows that she needs to do this.

#jenny q #jenny quantum #this was fun to do but it literally took me MONTHS to finish 😭😭😭😭#glory of youth; gold in her soul.

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ravioverse · 5 years ago

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Tumblr decided to be incredibly rude so we couldn’t directly post the ask lol, but sure, buddy! We actually have a couple posts that help introduce the lads, but we’ll give you an updated version (complete with images lol) And if you’re new, Ravioverse is an AU based on the LinkedUniverse comic!

We’ll go in chronological order beneath the cut since this’ll be pretty long lmao:

First and foremost is Origin! He’s the first Ravio and the source of the hero’s spirit, though he was never chosen by the Gods to be a hero. He’s got a vendetta against The Demon King Demise and looks forward to the day that he gets to snipe him with a silver arrow.

Fun Fact: He knows a little about how to enchant equipment since his family had been enchanters, but he usually lacks the materials to do anything more than arrows made with Roc feathers.

The second is Empyrean (who I will one day draw better lmao), aka the counterpart to Hyrule’s Chosen Hero (Skyward Sword), and the Ravio responsible for forging the Sovereign Rod. He’s the eldest of the lads during the events of Ravioverse and generally the leader of the group.

Fun Fact: This man is an Actual Father. He married his Hilda (Comet) and their children’s names are Aurora and Aster.

Our third is Sylvan (Hyrulean counterpart: The Hero of Men), although you won’t be seeing him for a good long while since he doesn’t travel with the main group. He’s fantastic at twisting words to his advantage, but absolutely loathes telling lies.

Fun Fact: The fairies that he dealt with during his adventures weren’t nearly as nice as the ones you see in games. He used the pseudonym Sylvan before meeting any of the Ravios out of necessity.

Vex! He’s the Hero of the Four Sword’s counterpart with a strong preference for shadow magic over anything else. He doesn’t remember much about his life before being brought to Hyrule by Ganon, but he’s working on accepting that he has an identity unrelated to Link. His magic comes from the Dark Mirror, but once he was sent back to Lorule after being defeated by the hero, he shattered the mirror on Lorule’s side so he wouldn’t have to go back ever again.

Fun Fact: He has a friendship bracelet and you will hear about it.

Things get spicey now because we have three universes/timelines to get into, starting with Viola (aka as Frost or Rime depending). He’s one of three counterparts to the Hero of Time and was the only one out of the VoS Trio to successfully save Lorule during their era.

Fun Fact: His girlfriend’s a swamp witch.

The second of The Hero of Time’s counterparts, Space (aka Blaze or Flare). He came close to saving Lorule during his era, but ultimately failed in his final battle when the Sovereign Rod split right in his face; the scar is a result of the light magic that exploded from the rod.

Fun Fact: The circumstances surrounding the split of the Sovereign Rod left Space with an intense fear of forests. He greatly prefers not entering them at all, but if he must, he is constantly on edge.

The third member of the VoS Trio and Time’s last Lorulean counterpart is nicknamed Flow (aka Gust or Zephyr). He vanished halfway through his quest, thus unable to finish and save the kingdom; instead, he ended up becoming the Dark Link fought during Ocarina of Time.

Fun Fact: He struggles to tell the difference between dreams and reality. He collects small, tangible objects to remind himself that he is not trapped in a blue void anymore.

As you may be able to guess, Shade is a Twili and the Hero of Twilight’s counterpart; his era follows after the Vanished Universe (aka Flow’s). He actually doesn’t have much of any combat experience due to the nature of his quest, but he’ll have a chance to learn. He forged a soul link with Space so that he could travel freely outside of the Twilight Realm.

Fun Fact: Great at politics; terrible at acting.

Born a pirate and a master navigator and sailor, Compass is the hero of the Great Sea (Hyrulean counterpart: The Hero of Winds). His era follows after the Successful Universe (aka Viola’s).

Fun Fact: He’s got friends in odd places. He calls on them when he needs an extra set of hands. (Or eyes. Or blades.)

Sketch is the original Ravio from A Link Between Worlds and thus The Hero of Legend’s counterpart; his era follows after the Failed Universe (aka Space’s). He actually does have combat experience but avoids combat at all costs for a variety of reasons.

Fun Fact: He has more than one reason to keep that hood of his on, even after ALBW.

Atlas is our darling angel boy the young Prince of Lorule and the younger brother to Princess Hilda (nicknamed Historia); his counterpart, of course, is the Hero of Hyrule (aka Zelda 1 and 2). He actually has the most traveling experience out of the boys, though he’s surprisingly tight-lipped about most of what he went through.

Fun Fact: He has a debilitating fear of mirrors.

This man is a tank and the Ravio from Hyrule Warriors, aptly nicknamed as Battler. He wasn’t always a fighter, but once troubles began finding their way into Lorule, he was willing to do what he had to protect his home. You’ll start seeing posts about his adventure soon.

Fun Fact: Values unity above all else. If anybody starts trying to start something, he’ll put a stop to it immediately and try to force a resolution.

Melior is the hero from 10,000 years before the eras of CotA and BotW. He’s a member of the Necroi––the Lorulean equivalent to the Zonai Tribe––and boy do we have lots to talk about when it comes to them. Besides that though, Melior, like Sylvan, also doesn’t travel with the main group so you won’t be seeing much of him for some time unless asked.

Fun Fact: He chose to stand guard over the Triforce in his era. He has more than one reason for doing so.

The last of the lads is Warp, who is naturally the Hero of the Wild’s Ravio counterpart. He specializes in mechanics and has several tools and robots at his disposal, most of which he built himself with the help of his Princess Hilda (nicknamed Circuit).

Fun Fact: He’s superstitious; not only does he perform little rituals to make sure his machines are happy and run well, but he also is terrified of ghosts.

#legend of zelda #loz #ravio #linkeduniverse #ravioverse #ravioverse crew #asks

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kaioken16 · 5 years ago

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Welcome to the golden City (Mallek Week Day 2)

Day 2 fic prompt for @mallekweek, featuring an OC guiding Mallek through his first awakening on Prospit. Like the previous entry, there is a google doc link with certain text written like a pesterlog chat, the link is here. Please enjoy the read!

Word count: 1957 Rating: For everyone Characters: Mallek Adalov, OC

Mallek burst into a nearby room, immediately shutting the metal door behind him and entering the lock code on the controls. His clothing was torn apart, bleeding from his forehead, his mouth and his arm which had the sleeve of his hoodie completely shredded off. Catching his breath as he had been running for a while, he leaned up against the door, and let out a sigh of relief. It was short-lived. All of a sudden, the sound heavy pounding on the door filled the room, along with the snarls and roars of a creature.

Mallek’s face was filled with panic, grabbing a small device out of his pocket, frantically pressing buttons before he stuck it to the door like a magnet. His gadget started beeping and then he quickly got away from the door watching the device emit a large electric shockwave. A roar of pain came from the other side, the device had now electrified the door. Whatever was on the other side, kept pounding but each time it was electrocuted, soon it attempts to enter the room became slower. Mallek braced himself in case it didn’t work, but fortunately for him, the heavy footsteps of the beast began to move away in another direction.

His heart was beating out his chest. Once he could no longer hear the creature, he just collapsed to the ground. Sitting there, he slowly laid back down, the adrenaline was going away. He hadn’t felt fear like, what was that thing? The cerulean then remembered he was talking to Zack before he was attacked. Slowly sitting up, he grabbed his palmhusk, opening his trollian, his thumbs tapping away on his screen.

--snakeBytes [SB] began trolling GallantLuminescent [GL]-- SB: hey; SB: i’m back; SB: sorry about; GL: What happened?? You said someone was watching you and then you went silent. SB: no need to worry; it’s not a problem anymore; SB: turns out that someone was a something; SB: but i managed to get away from it; tested out the electrifying mechanism on the device; GL: What something?! Are you okay? Where are you now? SB: hey; hey; don’t worry about it; SB: i’m okay; all safe and sound; whatever it was = gone; SB: it didn’t like getting shocked so it gave up; GL: Okay, if you're sure then. But please stay safe okay, I’m glad that the defence system works, but don’t take any unnecessary risks dude. SB: likewise; you keep safe too; SB: anyway; changing the subject while i hide out here; go back to the discussion we we’re talking about; about that place called prospit; and that we could meet there?; GL: Yeah since we’re at different points across the universe and all that, I figured out that your lunar sway in the game is prospit like mine. GL: So, we can meet there in person. I’ll be waiting for you when you get there. SB: hold on; how exactly am i supposed to get there?; SB: you haven’t exactly explained the intrigue details of i’m supposed to prospit?; or what this place is exactly; GL: Since I have no idea when I’ll be able to visit Alternia. I thought that we could meet at Prospit. GL: As for how to get there… Don’t worry about it ;D GL: It’s a special place, I’ve already cleared your entry. GL: Just rest up, and I’ll see you okay. SB: this doesn’t make any sense; but you’re the kind to make up stuff like this; so, i guess i’ll see you later; SB: i’m gonna rest on the floor for a bit and make my way back to my hive later; GL: Alright. See ya soon.

Yawning, Mallek wiped some of the blood off his mouth. Turning his palmhusk off, the troll laid there. Zack wasn’t the type to not make sense about something. Granted he was an alien with a culture completely different to his own, but it seemed more like he was hiding something about this ‘Prospit’ place. But at this moment, all Mallek wanted to do was sleep. First things first, he needed to clean his injuries, he didn’t wanna bleed out in his sleep. It wasn’t a serious wound but he couldn’t be too careful.

Looking around this old storage room he was able to find a cloth, wiping the rest of the blood off his face and his arm. Mallek then wrapped the cloth around his injured arm nice and tight. He slumped against the wall, pulling his hood over his head and shut his eyes. Hopefully he wouldn’t wake up to the sight of that unknown creature midway through eating him.

As Mallek began to drift off into a slumber he thought more about Zack, and more about Prospit. His lunar sway? What did that even mean? Something to do the moon obviously. But it couldn’t be about Alternia’s own moons. So many questions, one was answered and five more popped up. He was gonna have to ask Zack again about Prospit, and how he was gonna get there exactly.

There was nothing but pitch-black darkness for the moment. There was no sound, and no light at first. But then through the dark, something was peeking through. A light. It started out small and in the distance. Then it got closer, moving towards him, and bigger. It was so bright, he had to cover his eyes.

Soon he was now surrounded by light, he couldn’t stare into it, the intensity was too much. Mallek’s eyes shot wide open, immediately he grunted in pain, shutting them back due to the bright light. What was going on? Did the lights in this room suddenly turn on? Slowly, he opened his eyes again, his vision adjusting to the brightened area.

Then he realized something was different. Why was everything yellow? This was a different room. No. he was outside now, but this wasn’t anywhere he had ever been before. Getting to his feet, Mallek stared around in disbelief at his new surroundings, looking down at his feet the floor was gold, tapping at it with his shoe. That’s when he noticed his pants, then the rest of his clothes, they weren’t the same things he had worn earlier. Bright yellow clothing, with a large crescent moon symbol on his chest instead of his sign. The only thing that hadn’t been altered was his shoes.

Looking around to see if he could spot someone, anyone at all to explain where he was. He ran further into this golden city, running up a set of stairs turning into another street. Mallek looked up, his confusion turned to awe and wonder. Instead of the purple night sky and twin moons of his home, it was pitch black, but in the center was a massive blue planet where the sun should be. Swaying his head to the sides, this couldn’t be real.

“Hey, stranger!” A voice, a familiar one called out to Mallek, his eyes scanning around to find the source of it. Turning around he saw Zack?! Floating down like a balloon before the troll.

“What? What? Zack. What’s going on?” Mallek was surprised to say the least, seeing his human friend in the flesh before, slowly approaching the other, his hands reaching out grabbed Zack’s face, squeezing his cheeks. He was real.

“Hey, hey, knock it off. I’m real. This is real. Sort of.” He said, chuckling to himself. Zack could see that Mallek still didn’t understand, he then took the troll’s hand.

“Come on, I’ll give you the full details of this place. But first and foremost… Welcome to Prospit.” Zack guided the other in a new direction, his last words made Mallek look around again in realization.

“Prospit? This… This is prospit.” The cerulean asked Zack who nodded to re-confirm. This strange city was the place the other had been telling him about.

The pair were now in one of the tall towers throughout Prospit. Inside was an exact copy of Zack’s room, or what he had described to Mallek during their many pesterlogs. Mallek was sitting on the window edge, looking out to the rather beautiful view on the city of gold. Zack was looking out of the window next to him, he had explained everything to the troll as best he could. He understood at least where he was.

“So basically… I’m dreaming right now. This isn’t my real body, but an avatar of sorts. My real body is still in that storage room, sleeping. This is one of the two kingdoms that are dream moons that players can visit with their dream bodies. But unlike a dream everything is real here.”

“Pretty much. There are only a few ways a person could get to prospit… Get a ship and travel here for an unknown length of time. Or be a player and awaken on your dream moon.” Zack stated with the latter being the easier method to get to prospit.

“And this is the kingdom of light… Prospit. And it’s opposite is the kingdom of darkness… Derse.” Mallek asked the other who nodded.

“You end up on either moon depending on your lunar sway. Yours like mine sway to the light, so we’re prospit dreamers.” Zack said as Mallek was still in a state of amazement at all this.

“So my mind and my soul have changed locations. This is beyond anything I could imagine.” Mallek was now examining his hand with his eyes.

“This way, no matter what part of the universe we’re in. Whether the cold vast region of space or the dark skies of alternia, were just a sleep away from each other now.” Zack smiled to himself, the faintest hint of blush over his face.

“This is awesome… So tell me what can I do here? Can I float around like you could earlier?” Mallek was excited to learn more about Prospit and what his dream self could do here.

“You can fly around the place, and you pretty much will some things into existence here. You can be what you’ve always desired for yourself on Prospit.” Zack explaining further to the other.

“For example, if your real body was crippled or damaged in any way like a lost limb. On prospit your dream body is free of those restrictions if that’s what you wish.” Zack said.

“Someone blind could see… A person confined to a chair can walk.” Zack gave examples of the benefits of the dream moon. Mallek could understand more why this place was special and why it was a place where a person’s potential dream could be a reality. To an extent.

“But time here moves the same as the real world, and if your sleep is disturbed somehow you’ll be pulled from here and wake up back in your original body.” Zack told the other, so eventually if his body was ready to awaken his consciousness would return to it.

“Well then. If our time is limited, let’s go!” Mallek, not being afraid jumped out of the window, imagining himself flying, his body became lighter as he now was hovering in the air.

“Whoa. This is fucking amazing.” Mallek spun around in the air. Zack grinning at the other dived out of the window, taking flight as he zoomed past Mallek.

“Race ya to the main tower!” Zack pointed to the tower in the distance. Mallek smirk readied himself, visioning it, and shot off as fast as a bullet with Zack playing catch up.

Back in reality, Mallek was fast asleep in the storage room, perfectly still. A big smile on his face, grumbling in his slumber. His mind millions of miles away at the kingdom of light with his friend.

#mallekweek2020 #mallek week day 2 #mallek week #mallek adalov #hiveswap #homestuck #fanfiction #fanfic #HS fanfic #my writing #zack daemon (OC)#OC #oc/canon #prospit

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imaginesoftheuniverse · 6 years ago

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Dating Valkyrie would include...

You met Valkyrie on your visit to New Asgard

You were doing a piece on how the people of Asgard came to settle on Earth, and naturally, you were given the grand tour by their very own Valkyrie

“Brunnhilde, Queen of...well, what’s left of Asgard”

She respected the title she was given by Thor himself, but she didn’t like to use it. She was just another one of the people and being their leader didn’t change that fact

Maybe that’s what first drew you to her. She was blunt and painfully honest, but she cared about the people of Asgard

While she was giving you the tour, she’d greet various people - all of them by name

It was also clear that she had been running things around here while Thor had gone through his own way of grieving. Seeing her like this, it didn’t surprise you that Thor practically handed her Asgard and left her in charge

“Why are you doing this thing, anyway? ‘Cause Asgard doesn’t have much of anything anymore,” she had asked you after she had given the tour. There was a hint of defensiveness in her voice, and a part of you could understand how on guard she was now

“The people of Earth know the stories of Asgard, and what Asgard was before everything went to shit, but they don’t know what Asgard is now. They don’t know who the people are anymore, they don’t know how they live, how their lives operate. It’s to get a better understanding of Asgardians, and to provide more help for them as they continue to find their place here on Earth”

Brunnhilde had a shit-ton of respect for you then

She was very protective of Asgard, and she had every right to be. She had been there at Asgard’s demise, had been there when their ship got pummeled by Thanos, had been there as she led those she could to any kind of safe haven

She could tell you were sincere with what you aimed to do with the information you gathered here, and that you truly wanted to help them

So as the days you spent in New Asgard turned to weeks, Brunnhilde found herself falling deeper and deeper for you

You were incredibly kind, and she learned as she watched you that you could also be incredibly affectionate. She began to notice how you’d cover your mouth when you laughed, or how your eyes crinkled when you were confused

She began to notice everything about you, so much so that it wasn’t becoming subtle anymore

Even Korg began noticing something was up, and that was saying a lot

“Don’t you usually do something by now?” Korg asked, motioning over towards you with wild gestures

“Do what by now?” Brunnhilde was already slightly annoyed; she hated it when others pointed out her feelings

“Uh...nothing! But I’m pretty sure they like you, too!” Korg left her with that, and it honestly got her thinking

That same night, she had asked you to dinner

And you said yes with the brightest smile she had ever seen on your face

From then on, it was your imperfectly perfect relationship with Brunnhilde

Valkyrie wasn’t too big on PDA, but if she saw someone eyeing you in a certain way, she’d make sure that they knew you were hers

In rare moments, she’d hold your hand or plant a kiss on your nose, usually when she was sure no one was watching

Brunnhilde wasn’t too used to romantic relationships anymore, not since her time with the Valkyries, so she was a little awkward when it came to the more romantic side to your relationship

She was much better expressing herself through action than with words, and she’d usually show this when the two of you were in the comfort of your shared home

‘Cause let’s face it, when half your shit was in New Asgard and you kept spending money to get over there, it became pretty clear you were gonna stay in New Asgard

And she was practically screaming with her eyes that you live with her

It didn’t take long for you to become known around New Asgard, and for the people to start coming to you with some matters. They began to see you as Brunnhilde’s second - which wasn’t entirely untrue

You had been helping Brunnhilde with problems since before the two of you got together, and your involvement only grew after you two became official

You used your contacts to help the people, and even started a blog featuring them. Your goal was never to give out Asgardian secrets, but to educate the rest of the world on who they were and how they were just like everyone else, just with a little magic

The closer you got with the people of New Asgard, the closer you got to Brunnhilde

Before finding Asgard again, Brunnhilde did everything for herself, and now she had an entire kingdom to look after, and it was daunting, but with you by her side, she felt like she could do anything

The two of you have a thing for sharing clothes

Your favorite things of hers to take are her hoodies or shirts. She sometimes goes away on diplomatic missions, and she’s gotten used to leaving you in charge when she does

You can’t sleep without her there these days, so having half her wardrobe on the bed with you helps a lot

Brunnhilde likes stealing jewelry or any accessories you have, subtle things that most won’t notice, but she knows, and that’s really all that matters to her

And yo, sex with Brunnhilde? You’re in for a fucking ride, my friend

Brunnhilde is a very generous lover, and always puts your needs above hers first and foremost

She’s also willing to try just about anything, as long as you are 100% okay with it. You say stop, and she stops - she will never force anything on you

She’s a huge fan of lazy morning sex, too. Those early mornings when she doesn’t have to be anywhere yet and the sun’s barely up - she loves watching you as the sun starts filtering through the windows

You learn how to braid and before you got somewhat good at it, Brunnhilde would always let you practice on her

When you got really good at braiding, you know that girl is going around everywhere flaunting her badass hair, and if anyone asks, “my babe did it”

You wanted to learn for her, but you also wanted to learn for the kids as well - they were always asking if you could help them with their hair and you had no idea

When Brunnhilde learned you had a hidden reason behind it, you know she was all over you that night

“I know you’re just naturally nice and everything, but it is such a turn on, and you are beginning to make it impossible to function”

“Now you know how I feel, Val”

Listen, Brunnhilde fucking loves you. If anyone even dares to look at you sideways, that woman is pulling her sword out at ‘em

She’d die for your ass, and you know she would, because you’d die for her

It was a deadly combination, seeing as how she was Queen and all, but that was your relationship and your dynamic - doesn’t matter what the consequences could be

But the two of you would also die for Asgard, and you both knew Asgard would always come first, because it wasn’t just about the two of you - it was about the fate of an entire race, of an entire kingdom

That was probably the best thing about your relationship, though

The two of you could talk about these serious matters without breaking down

You could talk about what would happen if one of you did happen to die, about what would happen if New Asgard happened to be attacked - you had game plans for everything

It was sometimes hard to think about, but Brunnhilde was grateful that she could have these types of conversations with you, because it not only helped to prepare everyone, but it meant that you saw a future with her

And she came to the startlingly realization that she saw a future with you, too

She was in deep, and so were you, but there was nothing the two of you would trade for the entire damn universe

Requested by anon

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and-then-there-were-n0ne · 5 years ago

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In the economic sphere too, the ability to hold a hammer or press a button is becoming less valuable than before. In the past, there were many things only humans could do. But now robots and computers are catching up, and may soon outperform humans in most tasks. True, computers function very differently from humans, and it seems unlikely that computers will become humanlike any time soon. In particular, it doesn’t seem that computers are about to gain consciousness, and to start experiencing emotions and sensations. Over the last decades there has been an immense advance in computer intelligence, but there has been exactly zero advance in computer consciousness. As far as we know, computers in 2016 are no more conscious than their prototypes in the 1950s. However, we are on the brink of a momentous revolution. Humans are in danger of losing their value, because intelligence is decoupling from consciousness.

Until today, high intelligence always went hand in hand with a developed consciousness. Only conscious beings could perform tasks that required a lot of intelligence, such as playing chess, driving cars, diagnosing diseases or identifying terrorists. However, we are now developing new types of non-conscious intelligence that can perform such tasks far better than humans. For all these tasks are based on pattern recognition, and non-conscious algorithms may soon excel human consciousness in recognising patterns. This raises a novel question: which of the two is really important, intelligence or consciousness? As long as they went hand in hand, debating their relative value was just a pastime for philosophers. But in the twenty-first century, this is becoming an urgent political and economic issue. And it is sobering to realise that, at least for armies and corporations, the answer is straightforward: intelligence is mandatory but consciousness is optional.

Armies and corporations cannot function without intelligent agents, but they don’t need consciousness and subjective experiences. The conscious experiences of a flesh-and-blood taxi driver are infinitely richer than those of a self-driving car, which feels absolutely nothing. The taxi driver can enjoy music while navigating the busy streets of Seoul. His mind may expand in awe as he looks up at the stars and contemplates the mysteries of the universe. His eyes may fill with tears of joy when he sees his baby girl taking her very first step. But the system doesn’t need all that from a taxi driver. All it really wants is to bring passengers from point A to point B as quickly, safely and cheaply as possible. And the autonomous car will soon be able to do that far better than a human driver, even though it cannot enjoy music or be awestruck by the magic of existence.

Indeed, if we forbid humans to drive taxis and cars altogether, and give computer algorithms monopoly over traffic, we can then connect all vehicles to a single network, and thereby make car accidents virtually impossible. In August 2015, one of Google’s experimental self-driving cars had an accident. As it approached a crossing and detected pedestrians wishing to cross, it applied its brakes. A moment later it was hit from behind by a sedan whose careless human driver was perhaps contemplating the mysteries of the universe instead of watching the road. This could not have happened if both vehicles were steered by interlinked computers. The controlling algorithm would have known the position and intentions of every vehicle on the road, and would not have allowed two of its marionettes to collide. Such a system will save lots of time, money and human lives – but it will also do away with the human experience of driving a car and with tens of millions of human jobs.

Some economists predict that sooner or later, unenhanced humans will be completely useless. While robots and 3D printers replace workers in manual jobs such as manufacturing shirts, highly intelligent algorithms will do the same to white-collar occupations. Bank clerks and travel agents, who a short time ago were completely secure from automation, have become endangered species. How many travel agents do we need when we can use our smartphones to buy plane tickets from an algorithm?

Stock-exchange traders are also in danger. Most trade today is already being managed by computer algorithms, which can process in a second more data than a human can in a year, and that can react to the data much faster than a human can blink. On 23 April 2013, Syrian hackers broke into Associated Press’s official Twitter account. At 13:07 they tweeted that the White House had been attacked and President Obama was hurt. Trade algorithms that constantly monitor newsfeeds reacted in no time, and began selling stocks like mad. The Dow Jones went into free fall, and within sixty seconds lost 150 points, equivalent to a loss of $136 billion! At 13:10 Associated Press clarified that the tweet was a hoax. The algorithms reversed gear, and by 13:13 the Dow Jones had recuperated almost all the losses.

Three years previously, on 6 May 2010, the New York stock exchange underwent an even sharper shock. Within five minutes – from 14:42 to 14:47 – the Dow Jones dropped by 1,000 points, wiping out $1 trillion. It then bounced back, returning to its pre-crash level in a little over three minutes. That’s what happens when super-fast computer programs are in charge of our money. Experts have been trying ever since to understand what happened in this so-called ‘Flash Crash’. We know algorithms were to blame, but we are still not sure exactly what went wrong. Some traders in the USA have already filed lawsuits against algorithmic trading, arguing that it unfairly discriminates against human beings, who simply cannot react fast enough to compete. Quibbling whether this really constitutes a violation of rights might provide lots of work and lots of fees for lawyers.

And these lawyers won’t necessarily be human. Movies and TV series give the impression that lawyers spend their days in court shouting ‘Objection!’ and making impassioned speeches. Yet most run-of-the-mill lawyers spend their time going over endless files, looking for precedents, loopholes and tiny pieces of potentially relevant evidence. Some are busy trying to figure out what happened on the night John Doe got killed, or formulating a gargantuan business contract that will protect their client against every conceivable eventuality. What will be the fate of all these lawyers once sophisticated search algorithms can locate more precedents in a day than a human can in a lifetime, and once brain scans can reveal lies and deceptions at the press of a button? Even highly experienced lawyers and detectives cannot easily spot deceptions merely by observing people’s facial expressions and tone of voice. However, lying involves different brain areas to those used when we tell the truth. We’re not there yet, but it is conceivable that in the not too distant future fMRI scanners could function as almost infallible truth machines. Where will that leave millions of lawyers, judges, cops and detectives? They might need to go back to school and learn a new profession.

When they get in the classroom, however, they may well discover that the algorithms have got there first. Companies such as Mindojo are developing interactive algorithms that not only teach me maths, physics and history, but also simultaneously study me and get to know exactly who I am. Digital teachers will closely monitor every answer I give, and how long it took me to give it. Over time, they will discern my unique weaknesses as well as my strengths. They will identify what gets me excited, and what makes my eyelids droop. They could teach me thermodynamics or geometry in a way that suits my personality type, even if that particular way doesn’t suit 99 per cent of the other pupils. And these digital teachers will never lose their patience, never shout at me, and never go on strike. It is unclear, however, why on earth I would need to know thermodynamics or geometry in a world containing such intelligent computer programs.

Even doctors are fair game for the algorithms. The first and foremost task of most doctors is to diagnose diseases correctly, and then suggest the best available treatment. If I arrive at the clinic complaining about fever and diarrhoea, I might be suffering from food poisoning. Then again, the same symptoms might result from a stomach virus, cholera, dysentery, malaria, cancer or some unknown new disease. My doctor has only five minutes to make a correct diagnosis, because this is what my health insurance pays for. This allows for no more than a few questions and perhaps a quick medical examination. The doctor then cross-references this meagre information with my medical history, and with the vast world of human maladies. Alas, not even the most diligent doctor can remember all my previous ailments and check-ups. Similarly, no doctor can be familiar with every illness and drug, or read every new article published in every medical journal. To top it all, the doctor is sometimes tired or hungry or perhaps even sick, which affects her judgement. No wonder that doctors often err in their diagnoses, or recommend a less-than-optimal treatment.

Now consider IBM’s famous Watson – an artificial intelligence system that won the Jeopardy! television game show in 2011, beating human former champions. Watson is currently groomed to do more serious work, particularly in diagnosing diseases. An AI such as Watson has enormous potential advantages over human doctors. Firstly, an AI can hold in its databanks information about every known illness and medicine in history. It can then update these databanks every day, not only with the findings of new researches, but also with medical statistics gathered from every clinic and hospital in the world.

Secondly, Watson can be intimately familiar not only with my entire genome and my day-to-day medical history, but also with the genomes and medical histories of my parents, siblings, cousins, neighbours and friends. Watson will know instantly whether I visited a tropical country recently, whether I have recurring stomach infections, whether there have been cases of intestinal cancer in my family or whether people all over town are complaining this morning about diarrhoea.

Thirdly, Watson will never be tired, hungry or sick, and will have all the time in the world for me. I could sit comfortably on my sofa at home and answer hundreds of questions, telling Watson exactly how I feel. This is good news for most patients (except perhaps hypochondriacs). But if you enter medical school today in the expectation of still being a family doctor in twenty years, maybe you should think again. With such a Watson around, there is not much need for Sherlocks.

This threat hovers over the heads not only of general practitioners, but also of experts. Indeed, it might prove easier to replace doctors specialising in a relatively narrow field such as cancer diagnosis. For example, in a recent experiment a computer algorithm diagnosed correctly 90 per cent of lung cancer cases presented to it, while human doctors had a success rate of only 50 per cent. In fact, the future is already here. CT scans and mammography tests are routinely checked by specialised algorithms, which provide doctors with a second opinion, and sometimes detect tumours that the doctors missed.

A host of tough technical problems still prevent Watson and its ilk from replacing most doctors tomorrow morning. Yet these technical problems – however difficult – need only be solved once. The training of a human doctor is a complicated and expensive process that lasts years. When the process is complete, after ten years of studies and internships, all you get is one doctor. If you want two doctors, you have to repeat the entire process from scratch. In contrast, if and when you solve the technical problems hampering Watson, you will get not one, but an infinite number of doctors, available 24/7 in every corner of the world. So even if it costs $100 billion to make it work, in the long run it would be much cheaper than training human doctors.

And what’s true of doctors is doubly true of pharmacists. In 2011 a pharmacy opened in San Francisco manned by a single robot. When a human comes to the pharmacy, within seconds the robot receives all of the customer’s prescriptions, as well as detailed information about other medicines taken by them, and their suspected allergies. The robot makes sure the new prescriptions don’t combine adversely with any other medicine or allergy, and then provides the customer with the required drug. In its first year of operation the robotic pharmacist provided 2 million prescriptions, without making a single mistake. On average, flesh-and-blood pharmacists get wrong 1.7 per cent of prescriptions. In the United States alone this amounts to more than 50 million prescription errors every year!

Some people argue that even if an algorithm could outperform doctors and pharmacists in the technical aspects of their professions, it could never replace their human touch. If your CT indicates you have cancer, would you like to receive the news from a caring and empathetic human doctor, or from a machine? Well, how about receiving the news from a caring and empathetic machine that tailors its words to your personality type? Remember that organisms are algorithms, and Watson could detect your emotional state with the same accuracy that it detects your tumours.

This idea has already been implemented by some customer-services departments, such as those pioneered by the Chicago-based Mattersight Corporation. Mattersight publishes its wares with the following advert: ‘Have you ever spoken with someone and felt as though you just clicked? The magical feeling you get is the result of a personality connection. Mattersight creates that feeling every day, in call centers around the world.’ When you call customer services with a request or complaint, it usually takes a few seconds to route your call to a representative. In Mattersight systems, your call is routed by a clever algorithm. You first state the reason for your call. The algorithm listens to your request, analyses the words you have chosen and your tone of voice, and deduces not only your present emotional state but also your personality type – whether you are introverted, extroverted, rebellious or dependent. Based on this information, the algorithm links you to the representative that best matches your mood and personality. The algorithm knows whether you need an empathetic person to patiently listen to your complaints, or you prefer a no-nonsense rational type who will give you the quickest technical solution. A good match means both happier customers and less time and money wasted by the customer-services department.

The most important question in twenty-first-century economics may well be what to do with all the superfluous people. What will conscious humans do, once we have highly intelligent non-conscious algorithms that can do almost everything better?

Throughout history the job market was divided into three main sectors: agriculture, industry and services. Until about 1800, the vast majority of people worked in agriculture, and only a small minority worked in industry and services. During the Industrial Revolution people in developed countries left the fields and herds. Most began working in industry, but growing numbers also took up jobs in the services sector. In recent decades developed countries underwent another revolution, as industrial jobs vanished, whereas the services sector expanded. In 2010 only 2 per cent of Americans worked in agriculture, 20 per cent worked in industry, 78 per cent worked as teachers, doctors, webpage designers and so forth. When mindless algorithms are able to teach, diagnose and design better than humans, what will we do?

This is not an entirely new question. Ever since the Industrial Revolution erupted, people feared that mechanisation might cause mass unemployment. This never happened, because as old professions became obsolete, new professions evolved, and there was always something humans could do better than machines. Yet this is not a law of nature, and nothing guarantees it will continue to be like that in the future. Humans have two basic types of abilities: physical abilities and cognitive abilities. As long as machines competed with us merely in physical abilities, you could always find cognitive tasks that humans do better. So machines took over purely manual jobs, while humans focused on jobs requiring at least some cognitive skills. Yet what will happen once algorithms outperform us in remembering, analysing and recognising patterns?

The idea that humans will always have a unique ability beyond the reach of non-conscious algorithms is just wishful thinking. True, at present there are numerous things that organic algorithms do better than non-organic ones, and experts have repeatedly declared that something will ‘for ever’ remain beyond the reach of non-organic algorithms. But it turns out that ‘for ever’ often means no more than a decade or two. Until a short time ago, facial recognition was a favourite example of something which even babies accomplish easily but which escaped even the most powerful computers on earth. Today facial-recognition programs are able to recognise people far more efficiently and quickly than humans can. Police forces and intelligence services now use such programs to scan countless hours of video footage from surveillance cameras, tracking down suspects and criminals.

In the 1980s when people discussed the unique nature of humanity, they habitually used chess as primary proof of human superiority. They believed that computers would never beat humans at chess. On 10 February 1996, IBM’s Deep Blue defeated world chess champion Garry Kasparov, laying to rest that particular claim for human pre-eminence.

Deep Blue was given a head start by its creators, who preprogrammed it not only with the basic rules of chess, but also with detailed instructions regarding chess strategies. A new generation of AI uses machine learning to do even more remarkable and elegant things. In February 2015 a program developed by Google DeepMind learned by itself how to play forty-nine classic Atari games. One of the developers, Dr Demis Hassabis, explained that ‘the only information we gave the system was the raw pixels on the screen and the idea that it had to get a high score. And everything else it had to figure out by itself.’ The program managed to learn the rules of all the games it was presented with, from Pac-Man and Space Invaders to car racing and tennis games. It then played most of them as well as or better than humans, sometimes coming up with strategies that never occur to human players.

Computer algorithms have recently proven their worth in ball games, too. For many decades, baseball teams used the wisdom, experience and gut instincts of professional scouts and managers to pick players. The best players fetched millions of dollars, and naturally enough the rich teams got the cream of the market, whereas poorer teams had to settle for the scraps. In 2002 Billy Beane, the manager of the low-budget Oakland Athletics, decided to beat the system. He relied on an arcane computer algorithm developed by economists and computer geeks to create a winning team from players that human scouts overlooked or undervalued. The old-timers were incensed by Beane’s algorithm transgressing into the hallowed halls of baseball. They said that picking baseball players is an art, and that only humans with an intimate and long-standing experience of the game can master it. A computer program could never do it, because it could never decipher the secrets and the spirit of baseball.

They soon had to eat their baseball caps. Beane’s shoestring-budget algorithmic team ($44 million) not only held its own against baseball giants such as the New York Yankees ($125 million), but became the first team ever in American League baseball to win twenty consecutive games. Not that Beane and Oakland could enjoy their success for long. Soon enough, many other baseball teams adopted the same algorithmic approach, and since the Yankees and Red Sox could pay far more for both baseball players and computer software, low-budget teams such as the Oakland Athletics now had an even smaller chance of beating the system than before.

In 2004 Professor Frank Levy from MIT and Professor Richard Murnane from Harvard published a thorough research of the job market, listing those professions most likely to undergo automation. Truck drivers were given as an example of a job that could not possibly be automated in the foreseeable future. It is hard to imagine, they wrote, that algorithms could safely drive trucks on a busy road. A mere ten years later, Google and Tesla not only imagine this, but are actually making it happen.

In fact, as time goes by, it becomes easier and easier to replace humans with computer algorithms, not merely because the algorithms are getting smarter, but also because humans are professionalising. Ancient hunter-gatherers mastered a very wide variety of skills in order to survive, which is why it would be immensely difficult to design a robotic hunter-gatherer. Such a robot would have to know how to prepare spear points from flint stones, how to find edible mushrooms in a forest, how to use medicinal herbs to bandage a wound, how to track down a mammoth and how to coordinate a charge with a dozen other hunters. However, over the last few thousand years we humans have been specialising. A taxi driver or a cardiologist specialises in a much narrower niche than a hunter-gatherer, which makes it easier to replace them with AI.

Even the managers in charge of all these activities can be replaced. Thanks to its powerful algorithms, Uber can manage millions of taxi drivers with only a handful of humans. Most of the commands are given by the algorithms without any need of human supervision. In May 2014 Deep Knowledge Ventures – a Hong Kong venture-capital firm specialising in regenerative medicine – broke new ground by appointing an algorithm called VITAL to its board. VITAL makes investment recommendations by analysing huge amounts of data on the financial situation, clinical trials and intellectual property of prospective companies. Like the other five board members, the algorithm gets to vote on whether the firm makes an investment in a specific company or not.

Examining VITAL’s record so far, it seems that it has already picked up one managerial vice: nepotism. It has recommended investing in companies that grant algorithms more authority. With VITAL’s blessing, Deep Knowledge Ventures has recently invested in Silico Medicine, which develops computer-assisted methods for drug research, and in Pathway Pharmaceuticals, which employs a platform called OncoFinder to select and rate personalised cancer therapies.

As algorithms push humans out of the job market, wealth might become concentrated in the hands of the tiny elite that owns the all-powerful algorithms, creating unprecedented social inequality. Alternatively, the algorithms might not only manage businesses, but actually come to own them. At present, human law already recognises intersubjective entities like corporations and nations as ‘legal persons’. Though Toyota or Argentina has neither a body nor a mind, they are subject to international laws, they can own land and money, and they can sue and be sued in court. We might soon grant similar status to algorithms. An algorithm could then own a venture-capital fund without having to obey the wishes of any human master.

If the algorithm makes the right decisions, it could accumulate a fortune, which it could then invest as it sees fit, perhaps buying your house and becoming your landlord. If you infringe on the algorithm’s legal rights – say, by not paying rent – the algorithm could hire lawyers and sue you in court. If such algorithms consistently outperform human fund managers, we might end up with an algorithmic upper class owning most of our planet. This may sound impossible, but before dismissing the idea, remember that most of our planet is already legally owned by non-human inter-subjective entities, namely nations and corporations. Indeed, 5,000 years ago much of Sumer was owned by imaginary gods such as Enki and Inanna. If gods can possess land and employ people, why not algorithms?

So what will people do? Art is often said to provide us with our ultimate (and uniquely human) sanctuary. In a world where computers replace doctors, drivers, teachers and even landlords, everyone would become an artist. Yet it is hard to see why artistic creation will be safe from the algorithms. Why are we so sure computers will be unable to better us in the composition of music? According to the life sciences, art is not the product of some enchanted spirit or metaphysical soul, but rather of organic algorithms recognising mathematical patterns. If so, there is no reason why non-organic algorithms couldn’t master it.

David Cope is a musicology professor at the University of California in Santa Cruz. He is also one of the more controversial figures in the world of classical music. Cope has written programs that compose concertos, chorales, symphonies and operas. His first creation was named EMI (Experiments in Musical Intelligence), which specialised in imitating the style of Johann Sebastian Bach. It took seven years to create the program, but once the work was done, EMI composed 5,000 chorales à la Bach in a single day. Cope arranged a performance of a few select chorales in a music festival at Santa Cruz. Enthusiastic members of the audience praised the wonderful performance, and explained excitedly how the music touched their innermost being. They didn’t know it was composed by EMI rather than Bach, and when the truth was revealed, some reacted with glum silence, while others shouted in anger.

EMI continued to improve, and learned to imitate Beethoven, Chopin, Rachmaninov and Stravinsky. Cope got EMI a contract, and its first album – Classical Music Composed by Computer – sold surprisingly well. Publicity brought increasing hostility from classical-music buffs. Professor Steve Larson from the University of Oregon sent Cope a challenge for a musical showdown. Larson suggested that professional pianists play three pieces one after the other: one by Bach, one by EMI, and one by Larson himself. The audience would then be asked to vote who composed which piece. Larson was convinced people would easily tell the difference between soulful human compositions, and the lifeless artefact of a machine. Cope accepted the challenge. On the appointed date, hundreds of lecturers, students and music fans assembled in the University of Oregon’s concert hall. At the end of the performance, a vote was taken. The result? The audience thought that EMI’s piece was genuine Bach, that Bach’s piece was composed by Larson, and that Larson’s piece was produced by a computer.

Critics continued to argue that EMI’s music is technically excellent, but that it lacks something. It is too accurate. It has no depth. It has no soul. Yet when people heard EMI’s compositions without being informed of their provenance, they frequently praised them precisely for their soulfulness and emotional resonance.

Following EMI’s successes, Cope created newer and even more sophisticated programs. His crowning achievement was Annie. Whereas EMI composed music according to predetermined rules, Annie is based on machine learning. Its musical style constantly changes and develops in reaction to new inputs from the outside world. Cope has no idea what Annie is going to compose next. Indeed, Annie does not restrict itself to music composition but also explores other art forms such as haiku poetry. In 2011 Cope published Comes the Fiery Night: 2,000 Haiku by Man and Machine. Of the 2,000 haikus in the book, some are written by Annie, and the rest by organic poets. The book does not disclose which are which. If you think you can tell the difference between human creativity and machine output, you are welcome to test your claim.

In the nineteenth century the Industrial Revolution created a huge new class of urban proletariats, in the twenty-first century we might witness the creation of a new massive class: people devoid of any economic, political or even artistic value, who contribute nothing to the prosperity, power and glory of society.

In September 2013 two Oxford researchers, Carl Benedikt Frey and Michael A. Osborne, published ‘The Future of Employment’, in which they surveyed the likelihood of different professions being taken over by computer algorithms within the next twenty years. The algorithm developed by Frey and Osborne to do the calculations estimated that 47 per cent of US jobs are at high risk. For example, there is a 99 per cent probability that by 2033 human telemarketers and insurance underwriters will lose their jobs to algorithms. There is a 98 per cent probability that the same will happen to sports referees, 97 per cent that it will happen to cashiers and 96 per cent to chefs. Waiters – 94 per cent. Paralegal assistants – 94 per cent. Tour guides – 91 per cent. Bakers – 89 per cent. Bus drivers – 89 per cent. Construction labourers – 88 per cent. Veterinary assistants – 86 per cent. Security guards – 84 per cent. Sailors – 83 per cent. Bartenders – 77 per cent. Archivists – 76 per cent. Carpenters – 72 per cent. Lifeguards – 67 per cent. And so forth. There are of course some safe jobs. The likelihood that computer algorithms will displace archaeologists by 2033 is only 0.7 per cent, because their job requires highly sophisticated types of pattern recognition, and doesn’t produce huge profits. Hence it is improbable that corporations or government will make the necessary investment to automate archaeology within the next twenty years.

Of course, by 2033 many new professions are likely to appear, for example, virtual-world designers. But such professions will probably require much more creativity and flexibility than your run-of-the-mill job, and it is unclear whether forty-year-old cashiers or insurance agents will be able to reinvent themselves as virtual-world designers (just try to imagine a virtual world created by an insurance agent!). And even if they do so, the pace of progress is such that within another decade they might have to reinvent themselves yet again. After all, algorithms might well outperform humans in designing virtual worlds too. The crucial problem isn’t creating new jobs. The crucial problem is creating new jobs that humans perform better than algorithms.

- Yuval Noah Harari, The Great Decoupling in Homo Deus: A Brief History of Tomorrow

#yuval noah harari #the great decoupling #homo deus: a brief history of tomorrow #homo deus

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ask-the-phan-site · 5 years ago

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Phan Cam: First Day, First Year

REMINDER: Keep in mind that this takes place in a fictional version of the world where things are a little different, but some real-world problems do happen here. So please forgive us if this brings up any hurtful subjects.

NOTE OR WARNING: Tokyo University is very strange to the other admin who is an American and doesn’t understand it. Like there being more than one campus in the city or which teaches what. So we’re just going to make it up as we go. But you can give him more clear and simple information on our sister site. Also, this post may get a bit long.

>The University of Tokyo, Komaba Campus. Our first day of college at last. Partly because of the coronavirus, they started the year late.

Everyone, we have arrived.

You bet! Never thought I’d make it.

I know. You’re usually good at sports and music. And to get in on a music scholarship just for being an Idol, just make it amazing.

Skull: (a little offended) Hey, I resent that.

Either way, we’re here.

I know. We’re so happy. We can be together again.

Not all of us.

I know. I hope Futaba and Sumire are doing fine without us.

Joker: And I left Morgana with Boss. He hired him to work at the cafe.

>We hear a ring on our phones. We check them.

Good luck at college, you guys.

We’ll be rooting for you.

We know you can do it... Especially you, Lady Ann.🍀

Have fun studying!🏫

That’s so sweet of them.

We’ll have to thank them when we can.

I’m sure we will.

>We all were nearing the entrance when we were nearly hit by a van.

OH MY!

Hey, watch it, dip shit! You almost hit us!

>The car door opens.

Sorry about that. I guess somethings haven’t changed.

Urashima Sensei!?

Panther: You know this guys?

Queen: Yes. This is Keitaro Urashima, he’s an archaeologist here. He also an assistant to Seta Sensei and substitutes for him in his class...

And seeing you here in Seta’s van means something is not right and your are substituting for him today.

Keitaro Urashima: Yeah, Seta’s being tested for the coronavirus today. I haven’t got any news yet, but until then, he asked me to fill in for his class.

Queen: I see. I wonder what if the rest of the faculty will be fine.

>Suddenly, a huge gust of wind blows. We’re nearly knocked down when we look up.

As I live and breathe.

>The woman in the blue coat and red hat came closer and closer down with her umbrella until she finally landed and closes it.

Woman with English Accent: (no picture at her request) You really should remember which side of the road they drive in Japan, Keitaro, you nearly ran over these students who are just hear for their first day. Mr. Amamiya, Mr. Sakamoto, Ms. Takamaki, Mr. Kitagawa, Ms. Nijima, Ms. Okumura, Detective Akechi, you need to be more aware of your surroundings despite standing in awe, you were lucky you heard the van coming otherwise you would have to spent the first day of the new year in the hospital which is already full at the moment. And Mr. Sakamoto, you really need to watch your mouth, there might be children nearby who may hear you.

>We all just stood there in silent about how a complete stranger knows our name.

Joker: You know who we are?

???: Of course she know. She’s Mary Poppins.

>We turn quickly to see Ryu and Wolf.

Crow: Oh, good morning, Ryu san, Zenckichi san.

Hello, all.

Good morning. You, too, Ms. Poppins.

Mary Poppins: Mary.

Wolf: Who else?

Mary Poppins: No. Mary Poppins. Never ever just Mary or Ms. Poppins.

Wolf: Forgive me.

Mary Poppins: It’s quite alright.

Keitaro Urashima: What brings you here? You know we’re in a state of emergency at the moment.

Mary Poppins: I can assure you that I have been thoroughly check. I am not carrying the coronavirus. However, the English Literature teacher, Mr. Dokusha, tested positive. Fortunately, it was a minor case and is expected to recover very soon. But in the meantime, I shall be substituting for him. But I am still first and foremost a nanny, so I’m only available certain days while also looking after children.

Queen: I see. But they does not explain why these two are here.

Ryu: You know which child she’s nannying? Kuri. I know Hase will be taking online classes this year, but with Inaba doing deliveries, he needs a little more help then the other tenants can offer.

Wolf: And I’m here to make sure things will be fine with Ms. Mary Poppins since she is English and the state of emergency has cautioned international travel.

Mary Poppins: I am very glad you are here for that. Thank you.

Wolf: You’re welcome.

Mary Poppins: Now, inside. The Dean is about to speak and we shouldn’t stand outside for too long. Spit Spot.

>We followed Mary Poppins inside while Ketaro goes to park the van.

>After a speech from the Dean gave a speech about how we have to stay strong in times like these (especially since more or less of the student body chose to study from home) and to make the most of it, we gathered together discuss the mysterious Mary Poppins..

Crow: I have heard her name a few time back at the apartment. I was told she stayed there a couple of times. I guess she just arrived to day...

By umbrella, no less.

Panther: I wonder what kind of teacher she’ll be like.

Fox: Me and Ren will find out soon enough, we have her first.

Skull: Wish we could join ya, but I’ve got my own class. (sad) Why’d it hafta be Math?

Panther: I have Acting Class.

Noir: I need to get to Agricultural Studies.

Queen: History of Law is up for me and Akechi.

Crow: Right, so we’ll see each other at lunch.

>We agree and go our separate ways.

>Fox and I arrive at our classroom. Not many student were there, but there were cameras and monitors for students studying from home. Me and Fox sit together (probably the only ones who are). Then, Mary Poppins comes.

Mary Poppins: Welcome, class. As the Dean had already announced, I will be teaching this class for a time. Now, for the book we will be starting with is one of my favorites: The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Holmes has appeared a number of times in Sir Doyle’s works. There is even a museum dedicated to him on the real life 221B Baker Street in London, England. Of course, there have been a few times when when Holmes went on many cases and adventures with characters from other works. Such as Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, the dual-personality doctor of Robert Louis Stevenson, Count Dracula of Bram Stoker, and even, though it only in a video game... a famous thief. Does anyone here know who that thief is?

>I have a feeling she’s looking at me.

Mary Poppins: How about you, Mr. Amamiya? Do you know the famous thief of another work who went against Holmes?

>Carmen Sandiego >>Arsene Lupin >Lupin III >James Moriarty >The Phantom Thieves >Ishikawa Goemon

Mary Poppins: That is correct. You seem to know much about this gentleman thief.

You could say we have a... close connection.

Mary Poppins: Yes. I have a feeling as such. (she winks back)

>Fox and I just stare at each other for a moment in confusion.

Mary Poppins: Anyway, yes, Arsene Lupin, who was created by Maurice Leblanc, once went up against Sherlock Holmes. As for the rest of you, if you thought for a moment that it was James Moriarty, that is the wrong answer. Moriarty was also created by Sir Doyle as the nemesis of Holmes.

Male Masked Student: No way. He got it right.

Female Masked Student: It actually quite smart to know something like that. Maybe I should get his number.

He’s already taken.

Female Masked Student: (surprised) Really? The two of you are together?

Mary Poppins: If we can get back on subject. Now, I wish you all to write a short report about what you think of The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes. You have until the end of class. Don’t worry, those studying from home, we have a printer and you can email it to there. I will collect it from there.

>We spent the remainder of the class writing down our thought about Sherlock Holmes.

>The bell rang and it was time for our next class.

Fox: I’m afraid this is where we must part. I have Art Class next.

Joker: Archaeology for me.

Until we meet again, I will be thinking of you.

And I of you.

>We hug... and go to the wall-hanging hand sanitizers.

>I arrive at the front of the class room where Archaeology is taught. I was just about to enter when someone runs into me. We are both knocked down.

???? ????: OW! Sorry!

Joker: It’s okay. I should have been looking where I was going... Hold on.

>I pick him up. I look at his hair...

I recognize that hair anywhere. You’re him, aren’t you? ... The King of Games.

Yeah, I get that a lot.

Joker: I know. What are you doing here?

NOTE: We know that Yu-Gi-Oh!: The Dark Side of Dimensions was released some years this post, but for the sake of the Phan-sites’s storyline, we’ve changed a few things. Please forgive us if you don’t like it.

Yugi Muto: It’s my first year here at Tokyo U. I know I said I would work at my grandpa’s game store and create games of my own, but I thought I’d still go to college to improve those skills. And you... I know you. You’re friends with Ryuji Sakamoto of KUROFUNE. I saw you perform at the talent part of Dream FES.

Joker: Yes. Ren Amamiya, at your service, Yugi san.

Yugi Muto: You know, you can just call me Yugi.

>We both head inside. Just like in the last class, there were more or less people here while cameras and monitors helping us connect to students from their homes. Keitaro Urashima comes in.

Keitaro Urashima: Hey, everyone. I’m Keitaro Urashima. But, you can call me Keitaro if it makes you feel comfortable. Welcome to Archaeology. Here, we will learn about the ancient world. Now, according to Seta’s notes, we’re to start with the basics of the basics. First off, a short history of archaeology. Archaeology was first introduced in the 16th century Europe. They say that it first began when Nabonidus, the last king of the Neo-Babylonian Empire, became interested in the past so he could align himself with past glories. However, an early investigation of the past could be traced back to Ancient Greece... You, the one with the glasses next to the odd-hair young man.

>He’s talking to me.

Keitaro: Do you know the name of the Ancient Greek historian who had an interest in investigating the past?

>Socrates >Plato >>Herodotus >Homer

Keitaro: That’s right! You must have a real interest in this stuff, Amamiya kun. The Greek historian and scholar, Herodotus, was the first historian to collect his material systematically, test their accuracy, arranged them in a well-constructed narrative. Plato and his disciple, Socrates, were philosophers and Homer was an author who wrote the Odyssey. Herodotus was known as the “Father of History”.

Long Haired Girl in Mask: That’s amazing!

Masked Young Man with Piercing: I can’t believe he got it right.

As am I. You’re amazing

He always is.

Keitaro: Alright, alright, settle down now. By the way, Amamiya kun, who you all recognize from Dream FES’s Talent Show, isn’t the only celebrity here. We also have Hifumi Togo the Shogi champion, Yugi Muto the King of Games, and Rei Ryugazaki the top track runner and swimmer.

Rei Ryugazaki: I mostly do swimming these days.

>Did he really have to bring that up? Hifumi looks at me with contempt.

Yugi: Are you okay?

I’d rather not say.

Keitaro: Now, we will begin discussing about the earliest known archaeological digs.

>We spent the rest of the class learning about some of the early digs in archaeology.

>Beef Bowl Shop Ore no Beko. Normally, we would have lunch at our favorite diner, but they have closed due to it being too small to avoid infection and have switched to deliveries. This place, luckily, is still open, through they close early. Me, Fox, Skull, and Panther were discussing the classes we had. Skull was just in Math and Poetry and Panther had Acting and Science. Two others then come in. It was Yugi, Rei Ryugazaki, and a young man with thick blonde hair and an almost menacing face. I can only guess this is Katsuya Jonouchi... But for popular reasons and to make things more easier, we’ll call him by his western name: Joey Wheeler.

Yugi: Oh, Ren!

Joker: Hi, Yugi.

Panther: (confused) You know Yugi Muto and Rei Ryugazaki?

Yugi: We’re in Archaeology together.

Holy shit, you’ve even got Joey Wheeler here!

Ya seem surprised. Glad to meet a fan of mine.

Skull: Well, I mostly like Tea Gardner (Anzu Mazaki) since we’re both performers, but yer cool, Joey san.

Skull and Joey Wheeler: Ya better think twice before ya mess wit Joey Wheeler, da Godfada of Game!

Rei Ryugazaki: (irritated by that stunt) We thought we’d stop for lunch some. I guess you had the same idea.

Fox: We would normally go to the diner across the street, but due to the state of emergency, they can only deliver until they’re sure it is safe to reopen.

Skull: My mom said that they’ll reopen as soon as they make sure it’s safe. It’s always been one of our favorite hangouts.

Panther: I hope so. By the way, Ryuji, you’re mom’s a nurse, right? How are things with her?

Skull: Well, because of her job, she said I can’t stay in the apartment with her in case I get sick. Well, I was already movin’ out after graduation. I currently stayin’ with Akechi at his place ‘til I can find one of my own.

Rei Ryugazaki: Speaking of which, if you’re friends with the Detective Prince, isn’t he here?

Panther: He and our other friends have classes at the Hongo Campus. They’re having lunch elsewhere. But we’re suppose to meet up with them and our other friends from Shujin after classes.

Yugi: That’s good. I wish we could meet up with the others, too. But, they have their own paths to follow and we have to keep our distance.

>We all sat down and enjoyed our lunch.

Panther: That reminds me, if you’re here Rei san, does that mean the other members of your swim club is here?

REMINDER 2: We don’t know the exact timelines of most of the shows, cartoon, movies, video games, and anime. We’re just making it up as we go.

Rei: No. They are attending different colleges. I’m the only one who came to Tokyo University. Haru senpai’s at Hidaka University. Mako senpai’s at Meijo Chuo University here in Tokyo, I was hoping to visit him, but I can’t due to the lock down. Nagisa’s taking online courses because of the lock down as well. So is Gou.

Joker: Just have hope, Rei kun. You’ll see them again. I’m sure of it.

Rei: ... (smiling) You might be right. Thank you, Ren san.

Just promise the next time you guys so swimming, you’ll invite us.

>After we finished our lunch, we returned to the campus. My next class was Music with Skull. After that, my last class was Geography with Panther and Hifumi. Normally, college hours would last longer, but because of the state of emergency, classes end early each day

>Cafe Leblanc. Boss closed it early for us. We, including Wolf, talked about what happened today.

Sound like you guys had quite the day today. I can’t believe you actually eat lunch with the King of Games himself. I used to love to play Duel Monsters.

Same here. Me and Kasumi used to play together between recitals. Hey, Senpai, did you play Duel Monsters in the past?

Joker: I did. But I lost interest as I go older. But I might get back into it someday.

I have that feeling.

Queen: So, how was your day?

Oracle: Same as usual. Ms. Chouno was being saucy, Mr. Hiruta trying too hard to be charming... Mr. Ushimaru threw a piece of chalk at a student.

And you’ll never guess who it was and dodged it.

Joker: Who?

>The cafe door opens.

We’re closed.

??????: Aw c’mon, I thought this place was allowed to open again!

>We turn to see who was there.

You?

REMINDER 3: The other admin is still not a good artist. Sorry if the next few sprites look like they were made and don’t look good.

(removing his surgical mask) Surprised? I guess you never saw this coming.

Queen: (indeed surprised) You three are in Shujin Academy now?

Yeah. We would have told you, but we didn’t think we would go this year because of the pandemic.

But, I managed to talk them into it.

Bruno: (whisper) And by that, he means he annoyed us into it.

Makoto: (who heard that) Hey, I resent that!

Bruno: Just telling it as it is.

Boss: I see. Well, I suppose I can make some more curry. Don’t forget to wash up, first.

>We got our curry and my phone rings. I answer to see Sophie.

Good evening, everyone! How are you?

Oracle: Hi, Sophie!

Adi: Oh, you must be the AI the others talked about.

Sophie: Yes, my name is Sophia. But you can call me Sophie. I’m humanity’s best friend.

Bruno: That’s nice to hear.

Wolf: She helped us that team with EMMA.

Adi: I heard.

Makoto: Thanks for taking care of that Iron Man Wannabe. Even Tony doesn’t like him. He says he gives billionaire geniuses like him a bad rep.

Skull: Tell Stark you’re welcome. I just wish you guys coulda been there.

Bruno: We will.

Joker: So, you managed to dodge Mr. Ushimaru’s chalk? He used to do the same with me.

Adi: I did. I guess all that training I did with Hawkeye really paid off.

Bruno: I was there. I saw it. Me and Adi are in the same class.

Makoto: (disappointed) I wish I could have seen it. How could I end up a first year?

Bruno: Because you’re biologically 15 and 15-year-olds start in first year in Japan.

Personally, you still act like a kid.

Makoto: (irritated) What was that?

Are you threatening your senpai?

Makoto: (scared) Sorry, ma’am.

Queen: That reminds me, is Chloe also a student at Shujin.

Bruno: No, she’s chose to study at home. She was originally going to go to Coles Academic High School with Kamala, but due to COVID-19, they had to change their plans.

Panther: Yeah, she told me just before we left Eternia.

Wolf: I wish I could have gone. Maybe next time.

Adi: We can only hope this pandemic ends. At school, the place was almost empty.

Bruno: I know. I was worried when I saw this. I know I won’t be infected since I’m half machine, but Adi and Makoto aren’t.

Violet: Same here. I learned they canceled gymnastics today because one of the students tested positive.

Queen: I’m sorry to hear that.

Violet: It’s okay, he just has a minor case and is expected to recover in a couple of weeks.

Noir: That’s good to hear.

Joker: How’s Chloe, by the way? Knowing that she can’t go with Kamala, she must be very unhappy.

Makoto: Yeah, she’s pretty bummed out.

Adi: Unless Mr. and Mrs. Khan say it’s alright, they can only see each other on video chat.

Noir: I see. That must be hard on both of them. I just wish there was something that we can do.

>Noir’s right. I think for a moment... I got it!

I know what might help.

Adi: You do?

Joker: Before returning here, I got a message from Mishima. We just got a new request on the Phan-site. We may be leaving again soon.

Queen: Do we really have time for that? The school year just began.

Skull: I’m sure we’ll be back in time. Don’t worry.

Adi: I see. I guess I can ask her.

Makoto: Can the rest of us come, too?

Maybe next time. Right now, I think taking Lady Chloe with us might do her some good.

Bruno: I’m sure it will.

>The clock rings.

Wolf: It’s getting late and we’re all under curfew. We’ll talk more about it as soon as we can.

Adi: I’ll let Chloe know when we get back. See you all soon.

>With that, we separate for now.

>My room. I decided to get in some work-out time before going to bed.

Are you done up there, Ren? It’s rather lonely down here.

Joker: 98... 99... 100. That should do it.

Nice going, Joker!

>I get down from the beam, dry myself off, and change into my lounge clothes.

Nothing like pulling yourself up and down from an old wooden beam on the ceiling that looks like it could come down at any moment to get you ready for a good-night’s sleep.

Fox: Indeed.

>I get into the bed with Fox. Mona get on.

>After what happened with those pictures, we set a rule for Mona when Fox moved in: If Mona wants to sleep in the bed with us, he has to be in cat form unless we say it’s okay, otherwise he’ll have to sleep on the couch or in his cat house.

Mona: Can’t I sleep with you guys in human form tonight?

Joker: Not tonight. We’re pooped. Maybe another time.

Mona: Suit yourselves. Good night.

>I look over to Fox. I know it has already been some time since he moved into the attic with me and Mona, but still...

Fox: So here we are.

Joker: Our new lives together.

Fox: I know our love is not in the original game, it’s not even in Royal, but still, I’m so happy this fanmade timeline lets us be together.

Joker: Yeah, I wish ATLUS would have realized that a romantic route like this is okay. And there have been other fanmade timelines in which I’m with Ryuji, Akechi, or even Mishima. I was even told they showed us what Christmas is like. But right now, in this timeline...

I think I was born to meet you.

I am happy to hear that.

>We both share a passionate kiss. It is a really good feeling.

Fox: Good night, Ren. I love you.

Joker: Good night, Yusuke. I love you, too.

>I take off my glasses and we both fall gently asleep.

>We slept for some time...

>I open my eyes and I realize I”m not in my room anymore.

Welcome to the Velvet Room.

Joker: Lavenza? Why am I here?

Lavenza: I know about your newest heist. And this deals with some old friends of this room’s previous guests.

Yes, that would be the case.

Y- You... Aren’t you...

It appears we have surprised him, sisters.

Lavenza: Yes, you have already met my older brother, Theodore. But that is too long, so I ask that you call him Theo.

Theodore: Your name is as long as yours.

Woman in Blue: And we meet for the first time. My name is Margaret. I am Lavenza and Theodore’s older sister. We are denizens of the Velvet Room just as Lavenza is.

Joker: It’s nice to meet you. But what brings you here?

Margaret: We are here as Lavenza had said.

>Suddenly, a couple of cell doors open and someone comes in.

Ren?

Yu?

Narukami san? And Ren Amamiya san? If you are here... Mitsuru san was right. You are the leader of the Phantom Thieves of Hearts.

Joker: Pretty much.

Margaret: We have gathered you here because of that request.

Joker: You know who sent it?

Theodore: Indeed we do.

>Theodore opens the Compendium and shows us.

Yu: (reading it) The Clockwork God?

Aigis: (also reading it) The Clockwork God is the embodiment of death and one half of the deity, Chronos. That does sound familiar.

Margaret: It is... And here is why.

>Margaret turns the page.

Yu: ... Zen...

Aigis: And Rei san... How do we know those names? Have we met them somewhere before?

Yu: We must have. They’re wearing the Yasogami High School uniform. But I can’t seem to place them anywhere.

Margaret: Because you met them in a different Yasogami High School. You met them within a haven in the rift, a floating island adrift in the sea of the unconscious. When you left, Zen and Rei went to a new existence and your memories of your time together was gone. However, we in the Velvet Room remembered because it was recorded in the Compendium. And it appears the time has come to restore those memories.

Yu: You can do that?

Margaret: I cannot... But she can.

>The cell door opens again.

I think this is where I come in.

I know you. You’re Naminė.

Naminė: I’m glad you know who I am, Ren Amamiya. I’m here to restore the memories that were lost. I know my powers are normally limited to those who are connected to Sora, but thanks to everyone in the Velvet Room, I can do it with everyone as well. And it will only take a second. It sort of makes me wish I had this kind of assistance sooner.

>Naminė closes her eyes. In a flash, many things cam flowing into my head. None of it involved this Zen or Rei... But something else.

Yu: I... I remember! We met Zen and Rei in a different version of Yasogami. Rei was dead and Zen was suppose to take her to the afterlife. They got trapped and we helped them.

Aigis: I remember as well.

Naminė: Your friends have remembered as well. You might need their help.

Joker: I remember something. It’s not about your friends...

Something about... movies.

Aigis: I also remember that.

Yu: Me, too... But I think we should save that for another time. Right now, it sounds like Zen san and Rei chan are in trouble again. What happened to them?

Margaret: After our adventure with them, they went to a part of the Sea of Souls known as the Soul Society... But the rest you will have to hear from Rei.

Lavenza: It is time you return to your world and enjoy whatever rest you have.

Aigis: (smiling) I do not have to worry. As a machine, I do not require sleep. But, I should return and tell the Mitsuru san what has happened.

Maraget: And one more thing I must tell you. Naminė has restored all of your friends’ memories. This is because you may need their assistance. However, to avoid the place you are going to from also being effected by the changes bought on by the virus that now covers your world, you can only take one member of your team with you.

Yu: That’s true, we don’t want this place to have the coronavirus. Well, if I am going to have to take only one member of the Investigation Team, of course I’m going to choose Yosuke. He’s my partner. Always and forever.

Aigis: I do not wish the same thing, either. So, I suppose I shall bring Labrys, my sister. Since we are both machines and neither of us can get the virus, it should be fine.

Joker: I would like to bring someone, as well.

Theodore: Then it is settled.

Lavenza: The time as come.

>Everything went dark.

Now I bet you’re wondering where I was in all of this. Well, my parents insisted I take classes online to keep me from catching COVID-19 and stay safe. But, it’s not so bad. Think of it this way: This just means I can work on the Phan-site a little more...

So much for my Phantom Thieves documentary. It’ll have to wait.

But don’t worry. I'm not done yet. I hope you all still support the Phantom Thieves in all of this. I know I will. And as the admin of this site, you have my word.

Just leave it to me!

#phantom thieves cam

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itsaviolathing · 5 years ago

Text

2019 reflections

Wasn't sure where to put this so I'm gonna put it here because there are fewer people who know me in real life on Tumblr and this is kinda personal.

2019 has been a long year of ups and downs for me.

I started the year in a bad place, still getting over a really tough breakup from the guy who I thought was my soulmate.

January saw me rebound onto a guy I met on Tinder and resulted in a 2-month relationship which ultimately ended with me hurting the guy. On the bright side, I met some really kind and lovely new friends through Pat and I'm so grateful for their continuing friendship and support. January also continued to show me just how many friends I have and how much they care about me, which I had first realised just after the breakup in December. I will be forever grateful to those who saw me through such an emotionally difficult time and for their unwavering friendship. I would never have coped without them.

February saw my first instance of volunteering. I volunteered as an Events Manager with a charity called Action on Hearing Loss, and I had such a good time doing it. I put together a fundraiser for the charity, supported by the charity's fundraising manager for the North-West, which ended up being pretty successful and raised a fair amount of money. I was really proud of myself for this, and the whole process helped me become more confident in myself and gave me more direction for where my future is heading.

March saw me go back to the guy who I'd broken up with in the first place (bad idea, I know). It showed me that at that point I hadn't managed to get over him as much as I thought I had, and that I was willing to forgive him even after how much he hurt me. A few weeks later I broke up with him again, for good this time. I'd proven to myself that all the work I had put into getting over him had worked to an extent because I just couldn't love him anymore, even though I still cared about him immensely. This was ultimately a really beneficial experience for me as it gave me the closure that I so desperately needed from the relationship, as I hadn't been ready for the initial breakup and felt like a lot of things needed tying up.

April showed me that I was afraid to be alone. Since getting with Moray in November 2017, I had barely been single - we broke up in December 2018, I had rebounded onto Pat just under a month later, and got back with Moray a couple of days after breaking up with Pat. Even when I broke up with Moray again at the beginning of April, I already had someone else I was talking to which was heading in the direction of potential relationship. I realised that I only broke up with Moray when I felt like I had a somewhat-secure ship I could jump to (Sam), and I had been in the same situation when I broke up with Pat, knowing there was significant potential of getting back with Moray. This was a significant revelation for me and really made me evaluate my personal values and morals.

May was a really difficult month. Most difficult was dealing with Moray. After our break-up, his mental health spiralled and he quickly ended up in a dark place. He still trusted in me a lot, and knew that I cared for him too, and so I was on the receiving end of a number of phone calls whenever he was feeling suicidal. Some of these were daytime, others were overnight at all sorts of hours. By far the toughest was when he was actively going to do something and I talked him down over the phone while coordinating with his friends in his city to go and find him, and directed him to his local hospital for psychiatric help over the phone from a completely different city using Google Maps. Another especially difficult one was when I was woken at 4am and spent 2 hours talking him down and then messaging his mother in the morning to let her know the situation. Of course, I was happy to be there for him in his time of need but from a personal perspective it was incredibly draining and was detrimental to my academic work as well. I had to meet with my university academic advisor to talk about it because it was becoming difficult for me to manage alongside numerous academic deadlines I had in May. May saw me close myself off from people in my daily life because of these emotional struggles alongside having so much academic work to do, but I got through the month and ultimately did well in all my assessments and had managed to be there for a friend in need. May taught me that, while it can be good to be there for someone who needs support, it's so important to look after yourself first and foremost and that sometimes you're not the best person for the job. Moray managed to secure help from people whose job it is to provide that help, and he built up a local support network which reduced his need for me. I hope he will remain grateful for everything I did for him but I'm also glad that I'm not an integral part of his life anymore.

June saw me confirm what I want to do next with my life. I secured the role of Head Concert Manager for my university music society and June was the first time I was working in the role. I confirmed that I really enjoy working in Arts Management roles and I decided that this is the direction I want to take my life. I started to make plans for where I want to apply for Master’s courses and general plans for the next few years of my life, which has motivated me significantly and has provided something of a sense of security through the fact I have a plan now.

July became another month of self-reflection and thinking about my morals. The guy I had been talking to, Sam, had invited me to stay over with him for a few days in his city. It was on this trip that I ended up being his first sexual experience, which wouldn't be a problem had he not been a no-sex-before-marriage Christian 😬 Even though I went to the effort of making sure it was absolutely his decision and trying to create a no-pressure atmosphere, I ended up feeling really bad about this because he regretted it happening. July also saw me think a lot about religion and whether it would be something I could get into but I eventually concluded that it's not something I can believe in and not something I feel compelled to get involved with.

August saw some of the best weeks of the year for me. Most significantly was the 10-days of being Social Staff with the National Children's Orchestra. This was definitely the best part of my year, and I had such a great time with new friends playing silly games and building new, strong bonds. I've found that I can't wait to be on NCO courses again next year and think of these people as some of my best friends, despite only spending a week with them.

September saw me and my tonsils part company, as they were finally removed. Recovery was rough but quick and I was back to myself quickly enough to be present as Peer Mentor coordinator on the first day of Fresher's week to register all ~80 of my department's fresher's. September also taught me that I need to be more trusting and less controlling, as my experiences as Head Concert Manager that month saw me finding it difficult to relinquish control to the Concert Managers, even though they were fully competent.

October saw me become properly single for the first time in almost 2 years. I ended things with Sam because we had fundamental disagreements and it was obvious the relationship was going nowhere, but we still remain good friends even now. Ending this was a little scary for me because I had lost the sense of security that a relationship brings, but this was made easier since the change had been gradual due to the nature of long-distance relationships. It had forced me to confront a lot of my inner feelings and thoughts on the matter and I ultimately learnt a lot about myself from this process.

November saw me become distant again due to academic work, after I spent 2 whole weeks avoiding social situations and spending time in the library as much as I could manage. Once again, this was ultimately successful because I did well in my coursework, but I did miss out on social situations as a result. November also saw me kinda fall for a guy in my department - that's a stronger wording than I really mean, I kinds just had a bit of a thing for him. It was the first time I'd had a crush in ages but I handled it well and confirmed I'm still fairly decent at flirting if I'm in the right situation 😅 November also saw me self-diagnose myself with potential dermatillomania, although I’m still not sure whether it’s just a bad habit or something medical and I’ve been too unsure to go to a doctor about it, but I think if it gets worse I’ll force myself to see someone.

December was another kinda difficult month. I had a couple of crises in which I found myself feeling like all my friends had people they preferred. For every friend of mine, I became aware that they had other people they would choose to spend time with over me, and that was a tough realisation. I think this came hand-in-hand with the whole being-single-for-the-first-time-in-2-years thing, because I had always been someone's 'favourite person' (in theory) while in a relationship and had always had someone there for me and looking out for me, and December saw me feeling like I'd lost that. December also saw me find out that the guy I had liked had actually liked me at the same time but nothing had ever managed to work out, which was a bit of a bummer.

Christmas and New Year's was spent with my family which is always a little difficult as we don't always get along so well, with New Year's being particularly difficult. I'm looking forward to going back to my uni city today (1st Jan 2020) and being with friends again and starting a new year afresh. My New Year's Resolutions/Improvements are to get fitter and healthier (through better diet and exercise) and to work hard on my academic work to do as best as I can in my final semester of my undergraduate degree.

2019 was a year of learning and personal growth. I learnt a lot about myself and spent a lot of time reflecting on myself, my values, and my morals, among other things. I came to terms with things that I had never really allowed myself to think about in the past, and I’ve ended the year feeling like I know myself a lot better than I did at the start of the year.

2020 will be an eventful year and hopefully an exciting and rewarding one; I'm looking forward to finding out how everything plays out and hopefully have fun at the same time!

#2019 reflections #it's been a bumpy year #bring on 2020

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